Is my boyfriend a player

At the world’s top college of magic and technology, every day brings a new discovery -and a new disaster. The advanced experiments of the college students tend to be both ambitious and apocalyptic, with the end of the world only prevented by a mysterious time loop, and a small handful of students who retain their memories.
Surviving the loops was hard enough, but now, in his senior year, Vell Harlan must take charge of them, and deal with the fact that the whole world now knows his secrets. Everyone knows about Vell’s death and resurrection, along with the divine game he is a part of. Now Vell must contend with overly curious scientists and evil billionaires hungry for divine power while the daily doomsday cycle bombards him with terrorists, talking elephants, and the Grim Reaper himself -but if he can endure it all, the Last Goddess’s game promises the ultimate prize: power over life itself.
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“Should I be worried?”
Why would you be worried?” Kim said. “Dean Lichman loves us.”
Dean Lichman had asked the two of them to stop by his office, though his brief message had not said what for. That left Vell to concoct nightmare scenarios in his head.
“He doesn’t love all of us.”
“Alex doesn’t count as ‘us’,” Kim said. She was a looper in purely a technical sense, mostly due to her own refusal to be a team player. “Besides, she’s been behaving lately. She’s only been an asshole, not an active liability.”
“That we know of.”
“If we don’t know about it, Dean probably doesn’t either,” Kim said. “It’s fine, Vell, he probably just wants to ask us for advice or deal with some problem he has.”
“That’s not much better,” Vell said. “How weird would things have to be that the Dean is asking us for help personally?”
“Only one way to find out,” Kim said. She gestured to the door to the Dean’s office.
Kim entered first, and found it in much the same state as it always was. The desk piled high with paperwork, a small bowl of assorted candies shoved into the corner of the desk, and Dean Lichman behind it, frantically tapping away on a laptop. Vell had not been in this office for several years, and it was vastly different than the last time he’d been here.
“Ah, there you are, come in, have a seat,” Dean Lichman said. “Unless you’d rather we have our conversation elsewhere, Vell.”
“Why would I want that?”
“Well, it’s my understanding you haven’t been in this office since my, uh, predecessor,” Dean Lichman said.
“Oh, right, the kidnapping,” Vell said. “No, I’m good, I don’t really get traumatized by things anymore.”
Vell had been killed too many different ways in too many different places to have a functional trauma response. A few days ago he’d gotten his legs chewed off by a vending machine, and still stopped by it to pick up a soda on his way to the office.
“That’s a very concerning response, Mr. Harlan.”
“Yeah. Anyway, what did you need?”
Dean Lichman gestured for the duo to take a seat, and both did so. He folded desiccated hands in front of himself before beginning to speak.
“I would like to ask you two to take a look at an experiment that will be occurring later this week,” Dean Lichman said. “I don’t have any reason to believe it poses a threat, but I would like to be assured it is a safe and ethical environment, and, well, you two have a knack for identifying trouble spots.”
“You could say that,” Kim said. It was more accurate to say that trouble had a way of identifying them -and then leaping at them and ripping their heads off.
“I’d appreciate it if the two of you could simply examine the laboratory and give it your approval, or disapproval, as the case may be,” Dean Lichman said. “Though if you’re too busy, I fully understand.”
“If you don’t think this is dangerous, why are you asking for our help anyway?”
“Simply for my own peace of mind, frankly,” Dean Lichman said. “The school’s policies on animal experimentation are...satisfactory, I suppose, but I do want to take extra precautions when the subject is a creature as smart as an elephant.”
“An elephant?”
“Yes, a resident of a reserve in Thailand,” Dean Lichman said. “An older elephant by the name of Mae Noi. She has cancer, apparently, and she is submitting to experimental treatment in the hopes it will be useful for younger elephants.”
Kim’s digital face briefly flashed with a facial expression of concerned skepticism.
“‘She’ is submitting to treatment? As in the elephant?”
“Yes. Apparently the elephant can talk,” Dean Lichman said. “No, I don’t know how it works, they said it was ‘more impressive in person’.”
“Well now I kind of want to go just to see the talking elephant,” Vell said.
“Same.”
“Well, do try to take a few glances at the experiment’s safety while you’re there,” Dean Lichman said.
“Sounds like a plan,” Vell said. “Thanks for the heads up.”
“I’ll be there too,” Kim said.
“Excellent. Thank you both, and I’ll try not to take up too much of your time,” the Dean said. He then bid them both a polite goodbye and returned to his mountains of paperwork. Vell took a step out of the office and then took a sip from the soda he’d recently retrieved from the evil vending machine.
“So, what do you think?”
“I think I really do want to see the talking elephant,” Kim said.
“Obviously, yeah, we all want to see the talking elephant,” Vell said. “I mean the whole situation. You think the elephant thing is going to be the daily apocalypse for that day?”
“Well, on the one hand, an elephant seems like the kind of thing that would kill us,” Kim said. “But on the other, I feel like the fact we have advance warning means it’s not going to happen.”
“True. The universe probably wouldn’t make it that easy for us.”
“Yeah, but the elephant thing still feels pretty threatening,” Kim said. “Only way to find out is to wait a few days, I guess.”
A FEW DAYS LATER
“Hello you two,” Dean Lichman said. “And Hawke.”
“Hey,” Hawke said.
“He also wanted to see the talking elephant,” Kim explained.
“Well, that’s not a problem, it was an open invitation,” Dean Lichman said.
“Thanks. Still, sorry for not saying I was going to show up in advance,” Hawke said. “It took me a long time to make up my mind whether I was more interested in or afraid of a talking elephant.”
“They are rather large, aren’t they? I suppose that could be intimidating.”
“I’m okay with elephants on their own, it’s the talking part that doesn’t sit right with me,” Hawke said. “What if the elephant doesn’t like me? What if I’m the first person to ever get insulted by an elephant?”
“You’re less afraid of getting trampled by an elephant than insulted by one?”
“I’m a little afraid of trampling, but elephants are chill,” Hawke explained. “They wouldn’t attack unless provoked. I kind of feel like one might call me a dipshit unprovoked, though.”
“You have oddly specifics fears, Mr. Hughes,” Dean Lichman said.
“Yeah.”
In spite of those fears, Hawke happily stepped through the door to the zoology lab. It did not take a long time to locate the elephant in the room, as it was a literal elephant. The towering pachyderm was in a makeshift pen in the center of the lab, with an ample supply of food and a strange pedestal in front of her.
“Dr. Chanthara,” Dean Lichman said, with a polite wave to one of the researchers in the room. “Good to see you. These are the students I told you about.”
“Hm. Nice to meet you,” Dr. Chanthara said. He was, perhaps not unreasonably, skeptical of why three seemingly random students were in charge of a safety inspection. The fact that one of the three was a robot made him even more skeptical.
“Hi, nice to meet you too, and, uh, don’t mind us,” Vell said. “We just have an eye for weird things other people might miss.”
“Sure. I- wait. Aren’t you that kid who got chosen by a god?”
“Yeah, that’s me,” Vell said. “And her too, technically.”
Kim shrugged. She didn’t care for any extra attention on that point.
“Right,” Chanthara said. He was beginning to see why these students might know their stuff. “I suppose we should start by introducing you to Mae Noi. Say hello, Mae.”
The elephant shifted on her feet and poked her trunk at the wide pedestal in front of her twice.
“Hello. Friends,” a synthesized voice droned. Vell stepped a little closer to the pedestal, just enough to see that there were an array of buttons on the side facing Mae Noi.
“Oh, it’s kind of like a keyboard,” Vell said. He’d seen similar things used with dogs, though usually in a much simpler fashion. Mae Noi seemed to have a few dozen buttons at her disposal.
“Smart,” Mae Noi said, with another prod of her trunk.
“We initially put it into our sanctuary as a bit of a novelty, something elephants could choose to interact with,” Dr. Chanthara explained. “Mae Noi took to it a bit better than most. Especially once she found out she could use it to ask for food.”
“Food. Pumpkin. Pumpkin. Pumpkin.”
“No, Mae, no food until after experiment,” Dr. Chanthara scolded.
“Experiment,” Mae Niko said with a prod. “Pumpkin.”
“Yes, experiment then pumpkin,” Dr. Chanthara said.
“That’s not really a talking elephant, is it?” Hawke said.
“It’s more talking than most elephants,” Dr. Chanthara said.
“Elephant. Smart,” Mae Niko said. “Smart.”
“Yes, uh, right, elephant smart,” Hawke said. He took a step back, to avoid any further offense and any further risk of being insulted by Mae Noi.
“You’re very impressive, Mae, don’t mind him,” Kim said. “How many words does she know?”
“Our platform back home has around three hundred words, though she’s still learning some of them,” Dr. Chanthara said. “The ‘travel’ version we put together only has a hundred, just enough to make sure she can get her basic needs met and communicate about the experiment.”
“Right, speaking of, I do believe we should put some time into our reason for being here,” Dean Lichman interjected. “You’re welcome to stick around afterwards, at Dr. Chanthara and Mae Noi’s discretion, of course, but we should get underway.”
“We probably should get to business, yeah,” Kim said. She tapped the side of her metal head. “I’m going to scan the lab. Vell, you talk to the elephant and make sure everything’s above-board.”
“Abov- oh, right,” Vell said. “Sorry, not exactly used to being able to ask animals if they agree to animal experimentation.”
“Experiment,” Mae said.
“Yeah, experiment,” Vell said, as he turned to Mae. “So, Mae Noi, this experiment might hurt, do you know that?”
“Experiment. Hurt. Elephant,” Mae Noi prodded. “Experiment. Help. Elephant. Help. Baby.”
“Help baby?”
“Baby. Baby. Elephant. Sick. Baby. Sick.”
“We’ve explained the nature of her condition to Mae Noi as best we can,” Dr. Chanthara said. “She has several children, and is concerned they might be similarly affected.”
“Help. Baby,” Mae Noi said. “Experiment. Help.”
The way Mae Noi frantically tapped the buttons tugged at Vell’s heartstrings, but he choked those emotions down.
“So you want to do this experiment to help baby, got it,” Vell said. “Even if it hurts you?”
“Elephant. Old,” Mae Noi said. “Hurt. Okay. Help. Baby.”
“Huh. Well, that does sound like informed consent to me,” Vell said. “Passes ethical muster, at least.”
The campus rules allowed students to be experimented on, with their consent, so Vell saw no reason not to apply the same standard to an elephant.
“You speak up if you change your mind about the experiment, okay?”
“Stop. Stop. Stop,” Mae said, mashing the same button a few times. “Yes.”
“You got it. I’m going to go help my friends check things out,” Vell said. “Good talking to you, Mae.”
“Good. Talk. Friend,” Mae said. She waved goodbye with her trunk, and Vell waved back. He wandered away from Mae Noi’s pedestal and found Kim and Hawke carefully examining rows of beakers and various other supplies.
“Nothing sus yet, boss,” Hawke said.
“Nothing caustic, mutagenic, or explosive?”
“Well, something mutagenic, but it’s supposed to be,” Kim said. She had scanners built into her body much like those that had once been in Vell’s glasses, allowing her to analyze the complex chemical formulas at a glance. “They’re going for some gene editing similar to what we’ve tried to do on human cancer patients. Low success rate, but not harmful. Some adaptations to work on elephants, of course.”
“Run it by any of our chemistry and biology student friends yet?”
“A few,” Kim said. “Haven’t gotten anything back yet, though.”
“Maybe run it by Skye, too,” Vell said. “She’d recognize anything that’d mutate an animal.”
“She does love to mutate things,” Kim said.
“Benevolently,” Vell insisted. “Just show her. I’m going to check for any stray equipment.”
The presence of an unusually large test subject had resulted in the lab being rearranged and reshuffled, so Vell did a quick scan for any misplaced equipment that might pose a threat. He found, to his surprise, a tidy and well-organized environment, with any and all extraneous materials securely locked away. There wasn’t so much as a shrink ray out of place. Vell did another loop just to be sure, but returned to his friends empty-handed.
“This place has less safety hazards than my lab,” Vell said. Hawke stared at him for a while.
“Why does your lab have safety hazards?’
“I do runecarving, there’s like, hammers and chisels,” Vell said. “Those can hurt people.”
“Mm, true,” Hawke said. “So you really didn’t find anything?”
“Nothing,” Vell said. “This place is secure as I’ve ever seen a lab be.”
“It’s like I said,” Kim began. “We got an actual warning about it, so obviously nothing’s going to go wrong. That’d be too easy.”
“Maybe,” Vell said. “Things can get teleported in, or someone could cast a spell, or something.”
“Yeah, but that applies to anywhere, at any time,” Kim said.
“Kim’s right,” Hawke said. “I say we go business as usual.”
“I guess,” Vell said. “We have to branch out a little, at least. Can’t keep an eye on one room all day.”
The trio stopped sulking around the outskirts of the lab and returned to Dean Lichman and Dr. Chanthara.
“Everything looks good,” Kim said. “Probably the safest lab I’ve ever seen.”
“I’ll choose to take that as a compliment,” Dr. Chanthara said.
“We have very high safety standards here at the Einstein-Odinson,” Dean Lichman said, defensively. “Relatively speaking. Innovation requires some risk.”
“I understand perfectly. So does Mae.”
“Hurt. Okay,” Mae said.
“Not that okay,” Vell said. “Nice meeting you, Dr. Chanthara. You too, Mae.”
“Wait.”
Mae prodded one of the buttons on her pedestal and then pointed her trunk at the three of them. Hawke looked deeply concerned, but stepped forward alongside Vell and Kim. Mae Noi appraised them with massive brown eyes, and then moved her trunk back towards the pedestal. Vell noticed a distinctive scar on the bridge of her long nose just as Mae Noi pressed another button.
“Joke.”
“...Joke?”
Dr. Chanthara sighed and rolled his eyes.
“Just go along with it,” he said. “She likes to tell her joke.”
“Uh, okay,” Vell said. “Let’s hear it.”
“What. Elephant. Favorite. Part. Tree.”
“Umm...I don’t know, Mae,” Vell lied. He’d heard this joke from a kid, once. “What part?”
“Trunk,” Mae said. She gave a loud bray of amusement and then slammed her trunk down a few more times to emphasize the punchline. “Trunk. Trunk.”
“Oh, ha, I get it,” Kim said, hoping her feigned laugh was convincing. She’d never tried to lie to an elephant before. “Good one, Mae.”
Mae Noi shifted from side to side, looking pleased with herself, while the trio took a step back and stopped their feigned laughter.
“Did you give her buttons just to tell that joke with?”
“She gets upset,” Dr. Chanthara said. “I’m not even sure she understands the pun, she just likes people’s reactions.”
“As long as she’s having fun,” Hawke said.
“We’ll get out of your hair now,” Vell said. “Good luck with the experiment, feel free to let us know if you need a hand with anything.”
“I’ll keep it in mind,” Dr. Chanthara said. Some of his earlier skepticism seemed to have softened, but he did not seem entirely onboard with three strangers mucking about with his experiment. Vell and his friends left before they stretched what little goodwill they had any further. Mae Noi waved her trunk goodbye as the three left the lab and stepped back onto the quad.
“I’m going to try and sneak some classes in,” Hawke said. “Later.”
“I’ll check some of our usual hot spots,” Kim said, before she too left. Once again alone, Vell headed to one of his own classes, and called up Samson.
“Hey, Samson,” Vell began. “See anything interesting while we were playing with the elephant?”
“Well, I thought I clocked someone acting suspicious, but it turns out he was only sneaking around to go see his boyfriend,” Samson said. “Nothing apocalyptic, but I did get called a homophobe, which is pretty emotionally devastating.”
“I’m sure you’ll recover someday,” Vell said. “Keep an eye out. Usually the safer things look, the more dangerous things end up being.”
“Will do,” Samson said, before saying goodbye and hanging up.
***
Vell got increasingly nervous the longer the day went without its daily disaster. He thought about checking in on Mae Noi again, but then recalled Kim’s warning about it being too obvious, but then remembered that nobody had seen anything suspicious anywhere else, but then remember that Mae Noi’s lab had looked perfectly safe-
“Vell.”
“Huh?”
“You’re spiraling,” Kim said.
“I’m not spiraling, I’m just,” Vell said, with a pause for contemplation. “Considering multiple options.”
“In a spiral fashion,” Kim said. “Eat the damn french fries. Honestly, what’s the point of ordering so many if you’re just going to let them get cold?”
“It’s not like they’re going to go to waste,” Vell said. The same time loop that allowed him to eat massive amounts of french fries without fear of gaining weight also allowed him to avoid food waste. One of the upsides of life in a time loop.
“Just eat, Vell,” Kim said. “You worry too much about all this shit.”
“I’m in charge, it’s my job to worry about it,” Vell said.
“It’s your job to handle it,” Kim said. “There’s no point thinking about this shit before it happens, you spend all day thinking about an elephant and then the universe drops, like, a bat with tentacles on your head. Just deal with as it comes, Vell.”
Vell leaned on the table and managed to chomp down on a french fry or two.
“You know, next year, when I’m not running the show anymore, I’m going to call and see if you still think it’s that easy.”
“I sure hope so,” Kim said. “I’m saying all this shit trying to make myself believe it too.”
“Oh good, you’re lying to both of us,” Vell said. “That’s cool.”
“Fake it ‘til you make it, Vell, that’s how it goes,” Kim said. “Eat your damn french fries.”
Vell rolled his eyes and returned to his fries, which were now starting to cool. Thankfully he would not have to worry about finishing them. A loud crash from across campus interrupted him mid-bite and nearly made Vell choke on his fries. He painfully swallowed the half-chewed food and then looked over his shoulder.
“Son of a bitch, finally,” Vell said. A few years ago he’d found it weird whenever he was relieved about a disaster, but now he was just genuinely glad to get it over with. The waiting was as killer as the apocalypse. He tossed his fries in the trash and headed toward the sound of chaos, with Kim right behind him.
“Already told everybody?”
“Well, I may or may not have left Alex and Helena out of the loop…”
“Kim.”
“They’d find out anyway,” Kim said. “I got to use my brain parts to get in touch with them, even over wi-fi that shit feels dirty.”
“Just get in- stop.”
Vell held out his hand. Kim froze in place and did not move. Not intentionally, at least. There was a small amount of unintentional movement. The ground was vibrating.
“Always love a good earthquake,” Kim said.
“That’s not a quake,” Vell said. “That’s...footsteps!”
Vell grabbed Kim and dove out of the way just in time for something to barrel through the walls of the dining hall and stampede across the room. Tables, chairs, and more than a few students were crushed under the feet of a hulking, brown-furred behemoth as it charged. Kim picked herself and Vell up off the floor and tried to trail its progress.
“That’s a- oh fuck me,” Kim said. “Please don’t say you told me so.”
Vell got his bearings and looked across the room at the titanic form of a woolly mammoth. Though it was definitely recognizable as an archaic mammoth, the ancient creature was also heavily mutated, unnaturally large even by mammoth standards, and with multiple curled, jagged tusks protruding from a slobbering maw.
“Well that could be unrelated,” Vell said. “Mammoths can come from a lot of places, cloning accidents, time machines…”
The mammoth reached a wall, and rather than barreling through, turned around, facing directly towards Vell. A prominent scar covered the bridge of its broad trunk.
“Oh, nope, that’s definitely Mae,” Vell said. The scar was in the same place and at the same angle. Even a clone wouldn’t have an identical scar.
Once the revelation had struck, Mae took her turn. Vell found himself staring straight down the barrel of a very angry mammoth coming right at him at Vell-squishing velocity. Luckily he’d been charged at by a lot of creatures over four years of looping.
Vell jumped up and to the side, and latched on to one of the curled tusks, which made for very convenient handlebars. Kim did the same on the opposite side of Mae, and punched her in the head.
“Wait, wait, hold off on the violence for a second,” Vell shouted. He tried to wave at Kim to stop, but Mae was thrashing so violently he had to grip the tusks with both hands.
“Good plan,” Kim shouted. “Can you get Mae on board?”
Another set of tables got crushed underfoot. Thankfully the other students were out of trampling range by now, but Mae Noi’s feet were still coated in the blood of earlier victims.
“Mae’s smart, maybe we can calm her down,” Vell said. He then ducked to dodge a swat from Mae’s mutated trunk.
“Call me crazy, Vell, but I think this is more than just a bad mood,” Kim said, as she climbed up Mae’s seven jagged tusks like a ladder.
“We have to try,” Vell said. The loopers rule against hurting other intelligent life forms had some flexibility for blood-crazed mutants on violent rampages, but they had to at least try to reason first. Vell climbed up on of Mae’s tusks and looked into one of her bloodshot eyes for any sign of recognition. “Mae! It’s Vell, do you remember?”
The only response Vell got was an enraged trumpet, which he didn’t think was a “yes”.
“Come on, bud,” Vell said. “What’s an elephant’s favorite part of a tree, right? The trunk?”
The massive brown eye staring at Vell blinked, and he felt a brief glimmer of hope. He then felt a brief glimmer of his lungs being crushed as Mae swung her head and slammed her tusks into the wall, and Vell along with them. Kim punched Mae in the throat and then jumped across the tusks to grab Vell and carry him to safety.
“You okay, Vell?”
He opened his mouth to respond, and a pint or two of blood came out instead.
“Apparently not,” he mumbled. “I might be down a few ribs. And a lung. Or two.”
Kim carried Vell a safe distance from the fight and set him down on the ground, where he promptly spat out another mouthful of blood.
“Okay, uh, you just lie there and try to die peacefully, I guess,” Kim said.
“Way ahead of you.”
***
“Was that last bit as funny as I thought it was?” Vell asked. “I think the blood loss was affecting my sense of humor.”
“It was kind of hard to appreciate in the moment,” Kim said. “But as far as dying jokes go, it was pretty good.”
Vell and Kim walked into the lair for their morning meeting and joined the loopers that had already gathered.
“Okay, what’d I miss while I was dead?”
“Well, after Alex was done getting herself killed,” Samson began.
“You’re saying that as if it’s something to be ashamed of,” Alex said. “Vell also died.”
“Yeah, but he got killed trying to do something good. You got killed trying to do something stupid.”
“Trying to eliminate a threat is not stupid,” Alex said.
“We don’t kill intelligent creatures,” Hawke said. “Sometimes we punch them into a coma, but we don’t kill them.”
“When a dog bites, you put it down, I don’t see why the same principle doesn’t apply to a mammoth that’s crushed seventy people.”
“That wasn’t Mae’s fault,” Vell said. “She got mutated, or something. On that note: did you guys figure out what happened to Mae Noi?”
“Nothing,” Hawke said. “Looked like Mae smashed up the entire lab, trampled everyone involved in the experiment too. Nothing left to investigate, and nobody left alive to interrogate.”
“Typical,” Vell sighed. “At least we have an easy out. Dean Lichman was really concerned about the ethics of that whole experiment. We raise some kind of complaint, we could probably get the whole thing shut down.”
“The problem is getting the complaint,” Hawke said. “That lab was airtight, Vell.”
“Apparently not completely airtight,” Kim said. “I can camp out in the lab and raise an entirely justifiable stink whenever something capable of making a murder-mammoth shows up.”
“And what if it happens so suddenly you can’t complain about it?” Samson asked. “For all we know that could’ve been some kind of dimensional rift, or time anomaly, or something. It might not be as simple as somebody just putting in the wrong syringe at the wrong time.”
“He’s got a point,” Vell said. “We might want to shut this down before it gets there.”
“Seems like our best option is to plant evidence, then,” Alex said.
Everyone else at the table spent a few seconds brainstorming ways to prove her wrong, and much to their frustration, could not.
“Okay, fine,” Vell said. “But it needs to be something incidental, not something anyone would get blamed for. We want to cancel the experiment, not get anyone in trouble.”
“I could have a seizure on some sensitive equipment,” Helena offered. “It’ll break something and nobody would dare get mad at me.”
“Can you fake a seizure?”
“No, but I’m allergic to elephants, so I’d probably have one anyway the moment I stepped in the lab,” Helena said.
“I don’t feel entirely comfortable sending you into anaphylactic shock for a bit,” Vell said.
“Offer’s on the table,” Helena said. “I’ll live. Wouldn’t have made it through that trip to the zoo otherwise.”
“Anybody have any non-medical emergency suggestions?”
“Seagull in the air vents,” Kim said.
“Will that work?”
“It happens now and then,” Kim said. “Seagull gets in, and Dean has to close down the whole lab for potential material damage and biohazard risks if they shit in the vents.”
“Really? We’ve never had to deal with anything like that,” Hawke said.
“It may shock you to learn that sometimes minor, tedious bullshit happens that we have nothing to do with,” Kim said.
“That is kind of surprising, actually.”
“Enough. Kim, can you grab a seagull?” Vell asked. He shouldered his bookbag, and stuck a hand into the extradimensional pocket that existed within it. “I can probably smuggle it in with my bag.”
“Yeah, I can get you a seagull,” Kim said. Since she did not need to sleep, she had to find ways to keep herself entertained at night, seagull-grabbing being among them.
“Alright, we’ll go grab one and put it in the bag,” Vell said. “The rest of you, be ready to meet us when I call.”
***
Roughly three minutes later, Vell put out the call and they reconvened in front of the biology lab.
“Yeah, that was much faster than I thought it would be,” Vell said.
“I’m great at grabbin’ birds,” Kim said. Seagulls were among the easier birds to snatch, even. They were suckers for food, and many of them were attracted to her shiny metallic body anyway.
“Let’s just get this over with,” Vell said. “I want this thing out of my bag ASAP.”
Even though the seagull was safely within a pocket dimension, Vell would swear he could still feel the bird thrashing and squawking inside his bag. He tightened his grip on the shoulder strap and led the way towards the zoology lab entrance. He grabbed the handle and held it as he froze for a second.
“Vell, what’s up? Is this bird escaping?”
“No, the handle’s vibrating,” Vell said. It was shaking the same way a wall near an incredibly loud speaker might. He pressed his ear to the door and listened closely. He opened the door immediately, and let all his friends hear the frantic trumpeting of a panicked elephant.
Inside the lab, Mae Noi was stomping her feet and trumpeting as loud as he long trunk would allow. She swayed from side to side in her pen, bumping against the walls not quite hard enough to damage them, but hard enough that it was clear she was doing it on purpose.
“What the heck is happening here?”
“Ah, Vell,” Dean Lichman said. He hustled over to Vell’s side and gestured to the entire room. “Maybe you can figure out what’s going on.”
Mae Noi stopped braying long enough to start mashing her trunk against her pedestal, mashing out the word “Bad” over and over again.
“Our test subject, Mae Noi, has been throwing an absolute fit ever since she got here,” Dean Lichman said. “Dr. Chanthara, these are the students I was telling you about earlier.”
While Vell reintroduced himself to Dr. Chanthara, Kim and Hawke stepped up to examine Mae Noi and her enclosure. It was a far cry from the peaceful, orderly scene they had examined on the first loop. They were half an hour earlier this time than before, but Kim found it unlikely that they had been able to calm Mae Noi down, clean everything up, and get back to work in such a short amount of time. They hadn’t mentioned any of this panic on the first loop either. They were soon joined in their confusion by Chanthara and Vell.
“We’ve tried everything; food, water, her favorite toys, even videos of her children,” Dr. Chanthara said. “We’ve even offered to call off the experiment, but she won’t listen.”
“She is an animal,” Alex said. “Sometimes they do things arbitrarily.”
“Not Mae,” Dr. Chanthara said. “Some of our sanctuaries residents from traumatic backgrounds can have outbursts, but Mae was injured in the wild. She’s never been like this.”
“Maybe some experiment on the island is upsetting her,” Vell said. “A sonic experiment only she can hear, or something…”
Vell stopped and thought about it. If there had been such an irritant, it would’ve been there on the first loop too. Everything always repeated exactly the same, except for-
“Could you, uh, take a step back for a second?” Vell mumbled. “I want to try talking to her.”
“Don’t get close,” Chanthara warned him.
“I’m not, I’m not,” Vell said. He didn’t need to get very close to tell a joke.
The massive brown eyes of Mae Noi stayed locked on Vell as he approached, and she continued to mash the “Bad” button on her pedestal.
“I know, I know, bad,” Vell said. “But, uh, do you want to hear a joke?”
Mae Noi stopped. She locked eyes with Vell for a few seconds, and then cautiously tapped a button on her pedestal.
“Joke.”
“Right, joke,” Vell said. He tried to recall the exact sequence of words Mae had used on the first loop. “What elephant favorite part tree?”
Mae didn’t blink.
“Trunk,” Vell said.
After a moment of contemplation, Mae Noi let out one final, fervent, trumpet, and then started mashing buttons on her pedestal again.
“Bad. Help. Help. Experiment. Bad. Help. Bad. Help.”
“Yeah, bad help, one second,” Vell said. He turned away from Mae Noi to look at Dean Lichman. “Hey, uh, excuse me, Dean? Hey, uh, if I remember correctly there are some pretty complicated rules on having intelligent animals on campus, yes?”
“Well, yes,” Dean Lichman said. After hearing of some questionable ethical practices involving an octopus back in first year, he had instituted a few clauses into the school’s ethical code of conduct regarding intelligent animals like elephants, octopuses, and dolphins. “Mae’s presence here is a bit of an outlier, but there were workaround, given her apparent consent to the experiment.”
“Yeah, about that, is she, uh,” Vell began. “Is she registered as a student?”
“Yes.”
Vell pursed his lips. It took a few seconds for his friends to catch on.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Samson snapped. He turned his back on the crowd and leaned against a wall while Hawke put his head in his hands.
“The first rule of looping,” Alex said quietly. “Loopers are randomly selected-”
She looked up and locked eyes with Mae Noi.
“From all registered students.”

TLDR: I haven’t played in like 3 months. It’s not because of work, but the husband won’t go with me. I can’t go by myself. He won’t play. Every experience I’ve had screams I cannot go alone.
The first shop I ever went to I got hired by, when the owner realized I wasn’t gonna sleep with him I got fired. Had a boyfriend. Was very clear.
The next store a dude flipped a f**kin table and accused me of cheating because there was “no way” I’d get lucky enough to draw the same card that won me the game twice in a standard game where you can run 4 of each of the friggin cards. I lost every other game that night. Same shop had a drunken brawl happen in the middle of Friday night magic. Decided place was not for me.
The next store a guy literally yelled at me in a casual game of commander where we were teaching a new guy to play. He’d brought his “ultra CEDH deck that makes everyone cry” and because me and the other dude were helping the new guy he won. This angered Mr ultra high power CEDH. Why I was the only one who was yelled at in the scenario I have no f**kin clue, the new guy was just as confused, the other guy tried to tell him it wasn’t my fault, but it honestly made me cry so I just left and never returned. Why? Because he is a regular there and the other regulars agreed I was just being a baby. Since that’s the player pool I want nothing to do with it. Didn’t want to be part of that psychotic echo chamber.
Next shop was just to far away. I can live with no one respecting my opinion unless my husband repeats it when it comes to magic, but I can’t drive 4 hours round trip to go play.
Next shop a dude seriously misunderstood our friendship and I had zero idea until we were on a trip outta town to go to a magic shop for some singles we needed. He suggested a restaurant and I said sure till we got there. Highly romantic couples place and I had to drag him back out and ask what the actual FK, I HAVE A BOYFRIEND, YOU KNOW HIM, WE HANG OUT TOGETHER, WHAT THE FK?! An his response was well you’re always at my house. CAUSE WE PLAY MAGIC TOGETHER! WERE FRIENDS! Just because a chick hangs out with you doesn’t automatically mean y’all are dating or that she wants to sleep with you! When I say I have no idea I mean NO IDEA. I’m autistic. High functioning, but I am not good with social queues at all. I missed ALL A THAT HOT MESS and wound up on the most awkward car ride home of my life.
The last shop that caused me to lose ALL HOPE in the male gender I got to be friends with the shop owner who I thought was entirely safe to interact with cause the man’s married. He got me into Pokémon and I was happy to just have an actual friend. I took every dmn precaution I could. No hanging out alone, no hanging out at his house, made sure my relationship with the now husband at this point was 100% evident and mentioned previous mishaps. Everything was fine for a while. I noticed his wife getting kind of testy(?) with me, so I stopped coming around the shop as much after she “accidentally” dropped her actual live dog on my board state during a commander game. Cut back on contact. I assumed I was doing something that made her upset. I had to be. Like half a year passes then this man starts sending me random roleplay texts while we’re planning to meet up to play Pokémon and I was like ??? The fk is this ??? He said he was sorry and he just liked to do the asterisk roleplay with people and I told him yeah I’m not into that. Then one day we’re having a conversation about the next pre release of mtg and he throws a *spanks you for your naughty talk in because I disagreed that a card would be played a lot in standard and I just blocked him until the husband got home. Didn’t go back for months and randomly got a text from an unknown number and all it said was 2 texts. “Hey it’s Arseface” and “I really miss you.” I responded to fkin neither of them because I. AM. MARRIED. That owner is gone now and it’s run by another dude who isn’t fond of me cause he was friends with the previous owner. Apparently a rumor circulated that I was trying to get with a married man even though I NEVER HUNG OUT WITH HIM ALONE. NEVER. Not one god forsaken fkin time.
I literally cannot go alone, in the 8 or so yrs I’ve been into this game it’s NEVER gone well and my husband doesn’t want to go now because he’s tired of dealing with the “oh I would have beat you if I drew this card” people. He won’t play with me because he “doesn’t like beating his wife” even though he hasn’t beaten my new test deck once….i honestly feel like he’s secretly spiteful that my first attempt at a CEDH deck that he said wasn’t going to work it just crushing his decks.
Magic is the one place I feel like being a girl is actually genuinely looked down upon or like an object. I never see many girls play. The few I do see work in the stores, but don’t play, are much older and can’t play often or too young to be friends with and are eventually driven off by dudes literally hitting on an actual child. I had to step in at a previous shop when a 30 something was asking a 17 yr old about her favorite sex positions. Was she into it? No idea, but I knew it was beyond inappropriate. The only other consistent girl I see I do not believe is there for magic. Is she playing? Yeah, but all she’s doing the whole time is trying to get people to go to her onlyfans or come to the strip club she works at and she flat out told me she doesn’t like my “housewife ascetic” whatever the hell that meant.
I feel hated and/or used. I have no fkin clue what I’ve done to people who do hate me. I have no idea why no one will respect my fkin marriage. My literal Xbox bio was just “I AM MARRIED” until I ran out of characters. Do I need to staple that sht to my god dmn forehead??? I love magic, but this community is just full of awful people.

• At 4yo (No joke) I would throw kisses/kiss/hug people I got infatuated with. No matter if known, or just met in public and generally guys. One day, however, my Ma & I were walking through a public park as we passed a group of teens/young adults - including a "beautiful dark-skinned young woman with long black hair". According to my mother, the second I saw this woman, I immediately let go of her hand: Running after the young woman and grabbing HER hand instead. According to my mother I had an "intense smile and stare about me" like she never saw and, ofc threw kisses after her, once dragged away
• At 8yo, I'd read my mother's "big books" (I always forget the name, sorry). They included folklore, legends etc. along with beautiful A3-prints of paintings accompanying the stories. I. Was. So obsessed with the drawing of serene women. Big, small, thick, thin, mortal, nymphs...till this day, I wish I could kiss one.
• At 10yo, I played an online MMORPG. The MMORPG included a "dating" function, but all the male players seemingly acted like assholes. In true Ouran Hostclub Fashion, I decided "I bet I could be a better boyfriend than all of these men!" and created a male character. My online "relationship" lasted 1-2 years
• 11yo: Had a small petty meltdown over Kim Possible ending up with Ron Stoppable. "But Shego is way prettier!" :(
• At 13-14yo, my Pa dragged me to an art-convention. One of his mates drew very realistic pin-up drawings of women -gifting me a postcard as a joke. I kept that Postcard till I moved out at 19yo.
• 14yo: First "gay panic" cause of how attracted I was to a classmate. Imagine a 14yo Marilyn Monroe, incl. the absolute photogenic qualities. Which I am simply highlighting, cause this girl could also draw and I stared at her perfect portrait every time I passed the art-wing of my school.

Anyway, these are just a few examples. Obv. there are more 14+, but obv. most assholes that spout this "oh no LGBTQ+ are groomers" rhetoric, believe that kids below 10yo+ are straight white slates till "tainted". A thing which...as you can see...is pretty bullshit.

I apologize in advance for the length of this thread, but by far this is the user that wrote the most comments in the video of our song. At first, he suggested Scepter and Reign, but he debunked this lead by saying: "Scepter and Reign can be crossed off. I have been corresponding with the lady whose name is mentioned in the legal document, Naomi (first name used with her permission, and only her first name) since Thursday. She was legitimately shocked her name was on the document because in all these years NOBODY ever contacted her regarding it. She thinks they may have realized how much money it would cost and probably withdrew. She knew both bands fairly well, scale of 1-10 she answered "6.5 maybe 7'ish". She designed 1 "logo" for each band that was literally just a sketch she made with their band names on them she could print out in the Xerox store she worked at. Scepter's original name was actually "Dungeon Master" but they changed it to fit their name on her design. As for the abandoned demo from Scepter, she said they abandoned it because they couldn't afford to produce it. They didn't even make it far enough to name their 3 or 4 songs. So, on to the big question, are either bands involved with this song? According to her both bands came out in 1985, and according to her this "The Falling King" song predates both bands by a year or 2. This is not Scepter or Reign, this song is older than both bands. According to her, she first heard this song on a Detroit station while visiting family. Even back then, the Detroit station personnel had absolutely NO CLUE who this was. She remembers her father making fun of the singers accent claiming it was a "Posh" accent and also used to think the lyric was "The fall, the fall in the king" lol. I explained how this song was recorded off of several stations in 1987 and she replied "How many songs do you hear on the radio that are several years old?". She was stumped this was played on Z-Rock because this does not sound like an amateur band to her. She is not the only person to make comments that this does not sound like an amateur band, this sounds professionally recorded and produced, something EXTREMELY few amateugarage bands could have done. I thought i had something, but at least i tried. By the way, apparently Reign still performs in the Pittsburgh area under the name "Metallic Thunder"." (THIS IS HIS LATEST COMMENT) If this is true, it means our search will be even more difficult.
In one of his earliest comments he said this: "My 2 oldest sisters (born in 1970 and 1972) actually remember this song being played by garage bands and local talents in the Coatesville PA area. However, they both swear on mom and dads ashes that the first time they heard this song, a local music festival in Exton PA, I was NOT born yet (I was born in 1984). Even back then nobody could say who it was or what the title was. In fact the one band from Downingtown PA used to refer to it as "The Dungeons and Dragons song". And by that i mean, according to my sisters the lead singers girlfriend (or his sister....they could never tell?) would be in the crowd and when they were ready to end their performance she would shout "Play the Dungeons and Dragons song". My sisters also remember the adults thinking this song was somehow a promotional thing for the PA Renaissance Fair. Unfortunately they cannot offer any clues to the identity of this band or songs title, their guess, back then and still today, was Manowar."
At first, he claims our band is Manowar, explaining: "I do not think Manowar is an obscure band, nor do my sisters. The "obscure" bands mentioned in my postings are all the local garage/amateur bands that they remember playing this song and most of those garage/amateur bands even back then, along with my sisters, were under the impression this was a Manowar song. Many people, not just on this post but others feel this is Manowar "pitch" song, other bands thrown around have been Iron Maiden, Overdrive (Or Overkill, i'm not sure if it's the same band?), Blackmane, Axis and Cirith Ungol (spelling?). Keep this in mind, it's not that uncommon for mainstream/well known bands to have unreleased music in their "library". A good example, ask the most diehard Rammstein fans what their first song ever was, they'll probably answer Du Recht So Gut or Rammstein. Most people have never heard their 1992-1993 pitch song, "Tier" (Monster, beast). In fact, Till Linderman himself stated in 2018 he was unaware Tier was ever recorded by anyone, yet alone put up on the internet. Like this "Fall of the King" song, "Tier" was toted as an mystery song for years but was in a group of 4 or 5 other songs that Rammstein did but never released. One of my favorite bands, Corvus Corax, actually had something similar happen, a song they did back in the early 90's, "Vampire", opening for another band was recorded by a fan in the audience and made rounds on the Neo Folk community ages later. Corvus Corax themselves heard it on a radio station in Denmark roughly 2009'ish and called them asking how and when they got that song because they NEVER recorded it for public use. Personally i cannot give a wager who this is? I am not that good with this genre so i go with what people older than me and much better with this music say. To me it could be Manowar, something they never intended to be released publicly, it could be the Z'Rose a bunch of people feel it is, it could be Overdrive/Overkill (i do not know if these names are the same band or 2 separate ones?), it could be me time traveling impersonating my great uncle Fred......ok that last one was just meant to be a joke lol." Then someone says: "has your sister contacted erik to see about the the song?" and he says "OH HELL NO!!! They haven't spoken since they broke up in 1991-1992. I did reach out to his brother probably a year ago and never heard back."
He suggests it's either Manowar or Sarissa (he mispelled them): "@aSome1 There's some confusion, my sisters never said Z'Rose was playing the song in our hometown area. Local teenage to early college yrs bands were playing it. They recognized this song when I was on a family Zoom chat, i had this song on in the background (by accident actually lol) and my oldest sister (#1 born in '70) asked what i was listening to. I turned it up and she shook her head and asked the other sister (#2 born in '72) "Oh my gosh isn't that that stupid Manowar song Erik and his brother used to play all the time?". Erik was the name of her high school boyfriend. They remember hearing it first at an amateur music fest when my brother (born in '82) was still a baby. Mainly they remember mom fitting all of them in her old "Batmobile" station wagon. By the time i was born in '84 that station wagon was gone for at least several months. The band names they specifically remember playing this, and keep in mind these were "Garage bands" from the 80's were: Venomous Vomit, Razors in your Coffee (Erik's band), Ash to Ash, Cauldron Kings, Coven of Metal, Pridesville, South of Hell and Purgatory. They said there were a few more, but didn't remember....or care....to know their names. (Disclaimer: Several peoples associated with those mentioned bands have been contacted by me and several have replied.....the most common reply is "How the hell do you know us!?" lol)
"I have actually been looking at this song for almost 3yrs. I've had some "good leads" and some "bad leads" and i've also had "WTF leads".......but at the end it is still unsolved. So far the biggest contenders, from people way better with this music than me (I'm more a symphonic or extreme metal person) have been: Manowar, Iron Maiden, OverDrive, Overkill, Onslaught of Destruction and Sonic Mahem. My sisters really believe it is possibly an unreleased or "pitch demo" of Manowar but they also said it might be a Greek band from the early 80's called Sarassa or something like that?"
Then he denies it's Z-Rose: "@lostwavefinder587 I have seen that name tossed around a lot on forums and random chats (this being one of them). Most people way smarter and better with this music than myself seem to have the opinion that it is not Z'Rose. They range in reason from: the equipment sound professional and they were not, the dates don't add up, Z'Rose only did covers so even it is them in the recordings it's still not their song.....one individual (a supervisor at work who lived in Texas during this time frame) actually said "Z'Rose wouldn't have been sober enough to finish that song". I have only heard 1 Z'Rose recording, and unfortunately the person who recorded it (I think the date says 1989?) spends the majority of the 5 minute video talking during the performance so all i hear is them and not the singer. I have to emphasize about %99 of this info i'm presenting is NOT from me but people who know this genre of music way better than me....i'm more Symphonic metal and neo folk (Corvus Corax, Heilung, Faun etc."
"Out of curiosity, since a lot people think this might be Z'Rose, has anyone contacted the family/families of Nick or Joe Cavazos? My "team" is looking into a blog page from 2018 of a pretty intense exchange between a blogger and a woman who is believed to be "Rocker Joe's daughter. In this exchange she states this song is NOT her dad and uncle's band. But it gets pretty rough because the blogger keeps pressing and let's just say some NSFW language is exchanged. I will only say this, the woman's name does match one of the names in Julio "Joe" Cavazos obituary, but they can't tell if it is actually HER or someone posing. I also find it interesting that in another posting of this song someone is claiming to be the nephew of both Nick and Joe.....but about a dozen people ask about this song and he does not answer them......but someone else will ask something unrelated to this song and he answers??"
"About a year ago on another posting of this song, someone had a link to a conversation with a woman who was allegedly Joe Cavazos daughter. She very adamantly denied this was her dads band, Z'Rose. They person kept pressing her and she did not budge a single inch, "NO, its not my dad's band". The only thing that could be confirmed was the woman's name did match a name in Julio "Joe" Cavazos obituary as his daughter. But if it was her or not I can't say? Many peoples on other postings and on forums have all claimed to have gotten in contact with Z'Rose and stated they responded "No" to this being theirs.
So the "Kings Fall" song by Bernard Cavazos is actually a completely different song. He is also not related to the Z'Rose Cavazos. Somewhere I read that the "Kings Fall"/"Fallen King" song by Bernard Cavazos is about a corrupt politician or mafia like "king" not an actual king. Again none of this is from me, it's from things I read, not me.
When 'Wang' did a video about several mystery songs he included this one. In his video (I don't know if he made more than one?) he talked about how that Bernard Cavazos has been contacted and has denied this is his Fall of the King song. If my memory is correct Wang read a message from him explaining his "king" was a corrupt politician or gang leader like king. Wang also mentioned there was another Bernard Cavazos who was a doctor and he is sick and tired of people contacting him about this song"
Someone that replied to him said:
"@CharlesMarkward probably this tape recording was an attempt from them to make something of their own, many bands have started this way, an example is the Brazilian power metal band Angra, they were first meant to be an Iron Maiden tribute but as things went by, they have decided to release things of their own...I couldn't find anything about this "Z'Rose" band in metal-archives, neither at Google with a simple research, but the data gathered until this moment make sense: the Z Rock radio is from Texas, the so called "Z'Rose" band is also from Texas, it was the 80's, so, without internet, this was the way bands used to promote their work...but your story adds some drifts from this sensible data available until now...they are/were from Texas, ok...but until then, they weren't any big group, which means they were probably 9 to 5 salarymen whose musician activity was on weekends and the money earned wasn't enough to keep up with, so, a trip from TX to PA is a long ranged one and expensive for their then standards, I can remember when I've read the Mick Wall's Metallica biography, in which they highlight how hard was for them to go all the way from CA to NY to record Kill em' All, well, unless someone sponsored the so called "Z'Rose from Texas" (like the Zazula couple to Metallica) to play in the events you've mentioned in PA...which means they were good and had potential (this "mysterious recording" doesn't let me lie), because it takes a lot for someone at the other eastern extreme of a big country like the USA to call someone all the way from TX to play in an event when probably there were good bands around and without the need of a sponsorship to travel and get some place to sleep and eat..."
Therefore Charles says: "Also, i am not the one saying it's not them. People much better with much more access to metal archives/records are saying it's not them. BUT, everything you said makes perfect sense to me and I have no argument against any of it. It would make perfect sense if it was a possible pitch demo Z'Rose recorded and kept along for a few years before a station played it. My sisters are %98 certain it was a Manowar song, the only other band they mentioned as a possibility is a Greek band i can't find anything about called something like Sarassa??"
Someone told him to contact Erik: "A little bit ago someone in here suggested i contact my sisters ex and ask where he got this song. I could not get a hold of him, but i did get in contact with his brother he played with. According to the brother they got the song from their aunt who lived in Philly (Center City) and would send them tapes of songs to play. This song was on a tape sandwiched between "4 or 5" Manowar songs. He specifically remembered this for 2 reasons: 1, their aunt wrote "Killing of the king by No Name" and 2, the last song on the this tape was labled as a Venom song (he did not recall which) but was actually "Melody of Love" by Bobby Vinton😂. So i think this is why my sisters keep saying it's Manowar, because if it was on a tape with a bunch of their songs that chances are they heard a crapload of times?"
He contacted Erik's brother (Erik is supposedly the ex boyfriend of one of his sisters) and received this reply: "Erik's brother returned another email I sent about this song. I made a post about it about a week ago. The brother says their aunt who lived in Philly included this song on a mix tape of stuff for him and his brother to play. This song was sandwiched between several Manowar songs and the last song on the tape was supposed to be a Venom song but was actually Bobby Vinton's "Melody of Love" 🤣"
Therefore debunking the possibility it's a Manowar song, he also adds: "She (the aunt) passed in 2014. She would record songs off the radio for them. She lived in Philly (Center City) but also had a place in Florida, so he was never sure which cities radio stations she would record from. This song she wrote "Killing the King?" As the title and "???" as the band name, but it was between several Manowar songs. I think this might be why my oldest sisters are so insistent this is a Manowar song because they may have listened to it with Erik and his brother.....it's a theory lol"
He also thought of Iced Earth as the possible band: "lostwavefinder587 I immediately thought of Iced Earth when I heard this song. Although it's likely just a coincidence, it's interesting to note that Iced Earth was originally called "The Rose".
Someone said to him: "if that's any help, the Greek band's name you're talking about is probably Sarissa. I don't think it's them, though: the vox sound kinda different, and their songs are mostly Ancient Greece-themed." And he replied: "Yes, thank you! All this time I've been spelling it wrong. I gave a quick listen to a demo of theirs from '86. In terms of sound and beat and tempo etc, they are pretty close to this song. In terms of vocals, they sound nothing alike." Therefore, he debunked Sarissa himself.
Now here he changed his version and provides a new lead given by his sisters:
"Holy crap for some reason my last post got cut in half and didn't include the following info, sorry! So the individual i spoke to and got the new possible lead is the former singer of the one band my sisters mentioned, Purgatory, (i do NOT have his permission to use his real name but his stage name was Tarantula). He confirmed he played this song "once or twice" but didn't know the lyrics so they just repeated several "blocks" over and over again. He heard it from a band in NJ and when he asked if he could use the song they replied along the lines of "It's not our song, we don't care" but gave no indication who it was or they even knew who it was? He suggested the band "Knightmare" because they were from Texas and he remembers all of their songs being medieval or medieval fantasy related. Supposedly they wore what looked like full on plate armor (he does not know if it was actual metal armor or something made to look like it). He saw them perform a handful of times because he spent summers in Texas on his grandfathers (mistakenly said uncle in my last post, sorry) ranch and would sneak off at night to "the metal scene" (i do not know if that was a club name or if he just meant that in general?). He began visiting his grandfathers ranch in 1980 and stopped when his grandfather retired in 1992. He gave an estimated timeline for "Knightmare" of 1981-1989."
He corrects himself by saying they are not called "Knightmare": Interestingly, my supervisor at work lived in Texas during this timeline (roughly mid 70's to mid 90's from what i can gather?) and when I asked him about Knightmare he had no idea. But when i mentioned they dressed up like knights in armor he suddenly looked startled and said "That wasn't their name, their name was Battle Battalion or some s*** like that".
But then he says: "So i posted a few months ago about this song, my sisters remember garage bands in the area playing this… I checked every band called Knightmare on Metal Encyclopedia and it doesn’t look like it’s our band." "Forgive my French.....Damn. I thought maybe it could have been a lead but i guess like dozens of others I've come across, dead end. I did a quick search for Knightmare a few weeks ago and I got all excited i saw one band dressed up like monks or Druids, but that band only came out in 2017. I think it's safe to say the name has been used by many bands."
Then someone asks him: "Does the name "Battle Battalion" show up on any Metal "pedia" sites? That's what my supervisor claims this "dressed up in medieval armor" bands name was?" and another one told him: "I saw some bands with Battalion on the metal encyclopedia and discogs and none of them are our band. I don’t think we should go based on what a band wears as our lead."
Then he debunks the Knightmare (and the Conquest) lead: "So a little bit ago i mentioned a band name "Knightmare" as a possibility for this song. Well the band was actually called "KnyghtBlyde" (Knight Blade) and i got in contact with the daughter of the vocalist last night. I played this song for her and after some confliction/hesitation she said it is NOT her dad. The biggest thing was all of her dads songs were based of Aruthurian lore and filled with references to Camelot, Arthur, Morgana, Lancelot, Excalibur etc. Since this song has none of that, its not them. She has no idea who this is. I did a quick search "Conquest 80's metal band Texas" and found 3 results. Conquest from San Antonio, split in either '85 or '87. Conquest from Dallas, '86 - '90. Khan'quest (possibly same band as Khanquistador?), no location given but split up in '88 then reformed in 2000 then......nothing? I could not find anything about any of their songs or demos or releases or band members. But it's obvious I was thinking of the wrong Conquest bands 😂 Conquest was ruled out. Someone who owns the tape was contacted and told us this isn't them."
And he says the singer of KnyghtBlade is convinced this song is from Battallion:
"So a little bit ago I mentioned getting in contact with KnyghtBlyde singers daughter who states that this is NOT her dad. She contacted me this morning, her father thinks this song might be by a band called Battalion. But her father said Battalion also went by the name AAA, Anti Aircraft Assault (or Artillery) in their early days. According to her father AAA/Battalion were from Texas but at least 2 of their members were originally from Chicago. Has anyone ever heard of either Battalion or AAA, Anti Aircraft Assault? The closest I can say is my one supervisor at work mentioned a band Battle Battalion from Texas when he lived there."
Then someone replies to him: "you are right there is a band named Battalion formed in 1984" He says: "I cannot find a single piece of music from this particular "Battalion"? From what I could find they formed between 1983 and 1985, split, reformed under a few possible names, split, repeat. 2 people I asked did say they remember a band of some sort from "out west" Anti Aircraft A-something, but neither could give any info."
Now here, he suggests it could be a Talon song:
"So here's a potential lead for everyone: I was just playing this song for a friend who is obsessed with all metal music. She asked me "Where did you get that Talon song?" Talon was/is a German heavy metal band from the early 80's that released several demos and full on albums between '83-'89. Almost all of there songs were medieval themed, especially their 2 demos. Herr's the thing, they supposedly have 3 unnamed tracks from both demos, one allegedly called "King Slayer". I listened to a bunch of there songs and I have to say there are several songs where the singer sounds exactly like our mystery singer, but then the next song they sound nothing alike. There was one song called something like "Execution" that the opening guitar sounds like this songs opening only slower? I'm not saying it is Talon, but it is possibly something to look into or at least consider?"
He also claimed the singer sounds like Bruce Dickinson (which has been suggested many times):
"I've said many times that I personally feel this vocalist sounds extremely close to Bruce Dickinson. There is a clip of Bruce singing Tom Jones' "Delilah" on either a talk or game show, and his opening of that song is nearly identical to this Fall of the King vocals! Tone, tempo, cadence, pitch......it's really really on spot. I am NOT saying it is Bruce, I'm just saying whoever it is does a good job singing like him."
He says this song could be made by Eviscerator:
"Hello again everyone, has anyone ever heard of a band from Britain, late 70's through late 80's called "Eviscerator"? Very very long story short: I played this song at a Viking/Pagan/Neo-Folk/Black Metal "bar" about half a mile up the road from my place and the one patron who looked like Elvira and Lilith Bathory had a daughter together (HOT HOT HOT) comes over and asked me to replay it and she sang along with the recording with about %95 accuracy! Oddly, at the end after the 4 or 5 "The Fall of the King"s, she suddenly sang "The evil one now wears the crown, all hail the evil one" and head banged for a few moments. According to her, this song was by a band called "Eviscerator" and they always claimed this song was written as a pitch track for the movie Heavy Metal? I mentioned how this song by numerous accounts was recorded here in the USA in 86-87 from stations in Texas, Chicago, Cleveland, NYC and (by only one account) possibly Florida. She didn't feel there was an issue with that as stations will often play random things just to fill the spot including songs that are several years older. I asked about her added line at the end and she stated "I didn't add s*** bud, whoever recorded it must have cut it off before they got to it". I mentioned how numerous people strongly believe this is the work of Z'Rose, she said they probably covered it a bunch of times but it is not their song and even stated that this particular recording sounds like it could be them covering. She was more familiar with Z'Rose than me, she commented "The 3 Cavlaros brothers from Texas right? The singer was the oldest brother Jeff?" (I know that's not their name, i only included it for aunthenticity per context of our discussion, the last name is Cavazos and there was only 2 of them right?). She also told me Z'Rose had about a dozen other names through their years including "Gypsy Rose". I asked how she knew this British band "Eviscerator" and she answered that she lived in London from 78-85 and this song was played a lot on "amateur hour" on several stations, especially university stations. This kind of took me by surprise because i thought she looked younger than me (I'm 39) but she lived in England for college and her first husband in the late 70's??"
"In my last comments i mentioned a bar i went to was going to have a mini concert featuring bands that specialize in black metal and 80's tribute metal and i would play this song to see if any of the band peoples or concert goers would chime in. I did just that and got a few hits on the radar with a few of the band members. The one band, Inviaat, the singer says he remembers this song being played on a radio station in Philly PA for an entire summer because that station was trying to find the band. He does not remember the specific station but said it was near the Taylor University campus (my understanding is that there is several?) because the station thought it was the students from that university's music program. When i asked him when exactly that would have been he said Summer of 1983 because he was married on Halloween 1983 and was hoping the station would find the band so they could play at his wedding. A member from the local band "inductus Mortis" said he recalls that song being played "somewhere in the mid 80's" but does not remember if he heard it in Chicago or Cleveland because he bounced between them. I asked several bands, include the Venom tribute band Poisonous Whisper if anyone had ever heard of a band name Eviscerator from the 80's. Only one person thought he heard the name but it wasn't a band name it was a compilation album of NWOBHM from roughly '83-'84, but couldn't tell me anything other than that. As for the other concert goers, the #1 response i got from them was along the lines of "Dude you can sing, you should go pro!".....in other words they thought it was me promoting myself (I wish i could sing like that!!). the #2 response was people thought it was Manowar. After those 2 the guesses were the usual ones i have seen here and everywhere else this topic comes up: Blackmaine, Axis, Overkill, Overdrive, Black Sabath, Iron Maiden, Anthrax, Slayer, WitchAxe and 2 people even asked if it was an Ozzy Osbourne demo."
"I asked around, including my oldest sisters I've mentioned in my postings, about Eviscerator. The only person who heard of them, the one from this time-frame not the other 8 or 9 bands from the 2000's with that name, said they were a generic ManowaIron Maiden/Judas Priest tribute or more accurately, ripoff, band who sucked. I am not saying I buy this woman's account, but i'm also not discrediting it or calling her a liar. Her familiarity with this song and her accuracy with the lyrics makes me believe she knows this song from somewhere.....what that somewhere is, i can't comment because i don't know?"
"So far my friends and I have several "pings" to look into, the name Eviscerator has absolutely nothing from the time frame we're looking at. But there is (was?) a "Lee Lesaat" Canadian/British "mercenary" (did not belong to any band but would play for others) drummer who now lives in NYC my friends are looking into.
There is an 80's metal/black metal tribute concert this Saturday at the bar I was at last weekend. After the bands play their sets they have an open mic like set up where you can play your own music (as long as it fits the theme). I'm going to try and play this song and see if anyone, bands or crowd or food vendors etc, have any reaction.
And by "pings" I just mean responses/possible possible long shot leads. The guy or girl claiming to be a psychic vampire who time traveled and wrote this song for The Lost Boys movie is NOT going to be one of them😂"
Then someone asks: "What band is this Eviscerator ? I found a band that was formed in 2012 . Furthermore tthe song is not in the metal archives I searched through lyrics was not found." He says: "Allegedly they were in England in the 1980's, but the woman stated 2 of them had New York accents. If all of her account is true and accurate, they were NOT a professional big name band. I did find several bands with the title "Eviscerator" (in different variations) but all of them were from the 2000's. The only "pro" band with that title I could find was a Hungarian band from the mid 2000's. I asked Satanic lady if she remembered any of the other bands that played alongside "Eviscerator" and she only remembered 3: "Band-Shee" (an all female band....get it?) Gargoyle, and Werewolf Tears."
"I have a very very small update for everyone, but it's still an update nonetheless. The mystery succubus looking woman who said this song was by Eviscerator and sang along to it (even when I "accidentally" muted my phone to see if she was just repeating what she was hearing.....she was not) has been identified by my journalist friend! We are going to try and get in contact with her and see if there is anything else she can remember about "Eviscerator" that could help. I'm not going to get my hopes up, but her familiarity with this songs lyrics and the fact she sang almost in perfect synch with the beat makes me feel she really did know this song from somewhere in her past. That or she is a very good actress? Lol
I found only 1 solid, confirmed band with that name but they were from mid 2000's Hungary. But several peoples now and then tell me they remember hearing that name in the 80's as various things; crappy garage band, NWOHBM compilation album/work, some sort of event space or name, most recently someone claimed he thought it was the stage name of a singer but didn't know who or what band. I'm trying to get in touch with the woman who originally mentioned that name."
He posted this comment that lead nowhere: "2 very small updates for everyone:
1) The Viking/Pagan/Goth/Black Metal themed bar just around the corner from me is having a New Years event tomorrow night. They actually agree to give me a "booth" where i can have a "guess this song" set up. And, it will be right next to where the bands play...I'm going to be between the "stage" and the food truck lol
2) The one radio station i submitted this song to will play it on their "X hour" on 1/8/24. It is not a hugely popular segment, maybe a few hundred listeners, but it's better than nothing.
Here's to the New Year and hope this song and numerous others get solved!"
"So the station played this song Sunday night/Monday morning. They played it 4 times between 2:07am - 3:12am. They received 9 calls about it and about a dozen emails (I seriously didn't know they had an email!?!?!?). Unfortunately the majority of contacts were people either asking for them to replay it or people thinking it was Manowar. There were a few Iron Maidens and one or 2 Ozzy Osborne's. Only 2 people stated they heard this song before. Unfortunately they heard it from "some kilt wearing guy at blank bar plays it, I think it's him self promoting". Yes that's me they referenced and no it is not me singing lol"
He suggest matrixx as a possibility: "There's a band called matrixx that has been giving me interest. They were only around for two years due to financial struggles in their stage. If you look up attaxe and fiinal notice they share two members of matrixx. Their drummer and guitarist sound very similar to the band from this song. It's pretty crazy too because they have a song called defy the king. They also had a label to produce their songs which is called Suma Recording Studios. This may be the reason why the audio sounds too good for a small band. I hope that this is the band! Too many good clues that I found"
He debunks the Steven Lindfield lead: "One of the names thrown about here and there on posts about this song is a Steven Linfield ("Lindi") who bounced between Chicago and NYC in the 1980's. His alleged involvement varries between being the DJ who allegedly played it on a NYC station, to being a Chicago stations record manageclerk etc etc. I got in contact with him yesterday. He denies having ANYTHING to do with the airing of this song and does not know how or why his name came up. While he did work at 2 stations (NYC, then Chicago during the summer) he was an overnight watchman (security). However, he does recall this song being played on "some amateur hour crapshoot" in '86 in NYC a bunch of times. At that point in '86 he claims people were referencing it as "The King Song" or "The song of the King" (drawn out to match the singers "The Faaaalllll, the fall of the kiiiiiing") and it was already 2 or 3 years old at that time. He did explain that at least at the Chicago station there was an amateur drop-off slot that the dj's would pick through and play random "no namers" labeling them as "space filler". Because they would be played, literally just to fill space, they were NOT mandated to keep any records of them. Sometimes the dj's would just make up names to some of these. One of his main duties was to check the drop-off to make sure there were no bad things thrown in there instead of cassettes. Another dead end, but at least we rulled out one theory......silver lining??😂 LINDFIELD, not Linfield. Darn autocorrect on this phone."
He is convinced it's a professional band's demo: Thats why a lot people I have introduced to this song think it's a professional band, or at the extreme least an amateur band playing with top level equipment/sponsor? 1983 guy stated they sound like they have equipment his garage band "couldn't even afford to dream about looking at yet alone use". It's also one of the reasons my 2 oldest sisters insist this is a professional band (sister #1 says Manowar, #2 says Manowar or Sarissa) because there are no goofs or mistakes or errors. My sisters gave an example of a garage band from their Kutztown university days, "Freefall Abyss" that self released a demo and in one song you can hear a telephone ringing in the background and in another you can hear a fan or ac unit going.
He contacted a girl named Della: "This song was actually played on an old Philly/NJ station on the segment "Della names your tune" in 2009. I was able to get in contact with "Della" (real name withheld by her request) who at first stated "I played thousands of unnamed songs bud, I probably played this one 100 times, sorry i wont be much help" . Then a few days later replied "I do recall this one, it was sent in from a local listener who had it labeled as Dungeon Master or maybe Dragon Master on a CD with a bunch of old early Manowar, JudaPriest, Iron Maiden, Megadead, Metallica and AngelWitch songs. He or she claimed their father had this song on a tape from his college days. Nobody knew what or who it was back in '09 or '10 and as far as I know nobody figured it out when I left the program in '15." The only name she gave, and I don't know if this was even a real name or the drummers "stage name" was Leopald Lestat.........I do have 2 people looking into it (from a metal dating site of all places). Disclaimer: I know some of those bands are misspelled, I purposefully left it that way because that's how she sent it to me."
"I went down that road, you nailed it right on the head. There is no way to track down who that listener was. The only hint she had, in the form of the note attached to the CD was the person said they were from Radnor PA. I couldn't tell you because the other songs kind of bounce around in terms of year: there's a Judas Priest and an Angel Witch song both from 1980 but then there's a song from Megadeath (I believe Megadeath came out in '85?) and a Metallica song from '86? For some reason my one comment didn't show up? Della gave a pretty big hint, she said the mailing address on the CD was from Radnor PA, but the phone number included was a landline for a Chicago address. Her and the station managers assumed it was a "shadow number" and didn't bother keeping record of it. A lot of her requests had local addresses with out of state phone numbers, cellular and landline."
He suggests Dungeon Masters: "I have a potential lead, "Dungeon Masters" from Pittsburgh PA? Long story short: everyone at work talks about a "hot nerdy chick" who works at the one antique book store in town and she is a music genius and knows EVERY song people play. So i decided to test it. I played this song and she stated "I think thats Dungeon Masters, they were from my hometown of Pittsburgh PA back in the early to late 80's. Thats either Dungeon Masters or someone doing an incredible job imitating them?". Given that Cleveland is only a 2-3 hr drive from Pittsburgh (from what Steelers players say) i think this could be a possible lead and explain the Cleveland recording? Again, this is only a POSSIBLE lead, but i think it has potential?
Currently my one "source" is looking into it. He is not always accurate (as evidenced when we were looking into Conquest) but its better than nothing."
And someone adds this: "Della said the same Dungeon Masters so better look into it"
But he says this: "Close, "Della" stated the listener who sent in the CD had this song labeled as "Dungeon Master?", not a band name. But I am looking into it as best as I can. I found a Pittsburgh band "Dungeon" but they're NOT metal they're an Omnia/Faun like band (neo-folk I think is the term?) formed in 2018. I sent word out to the people I know and my "team". Now it is a waiting game."

My incredible boyfriend dedicates a lot of his time to Destiny 2 and while he tries his best to explain the ins and outs of it, what he's doing, when he's 'raiding' etc etc, I struggle to understand it all and keep up. I absolutely love watching him play it (he's pretty good and I'm definitely not biased) but hate to bombard him with questions. Does anyone have any recommendations on how to begin understanding it? I've had a browse through the links on this subreddit but the videos all look pretty advanced and above my pay grade! I'm not new to gaming by any means but Destiny has absolutely baffled me and I'd hate for him to start playing less because of my noobness. Without actually having the game, how do I keep track of everything that's happening? Events, raids, new seasons (is that a thing?). Are there things I can buy in game for him or gifts outside of the game that players would appreciate? Even the tiniest bit of guidance would be a god send! Thank you in advance <3

This will be wordy and complicated so you may only wish to read it if you’ve found yourself as inexplicably captivated by this entire mess as I am. This is my current working theory, and I don’t claim that it’s entirely accurate or factual It’s just my theory and I am open to corrections, additions, or counter arguments. (No, I am not overly proud of how I know some of these things. I reactivated Instagram and rejoined Reddit after years of abstaining from social media just to further this little investigation/obsession. Hyperfixation is a real bitch sometimes.)
Taylor’s team would’ve been aware of her impending breakup with Joe and relationship with Matty Healy long before those things were public knowledge. With the Eras tour set to start up in March of 2023, her team would’ve been actively, aggressively plotting to address any potential negativity or fallout from the situation, especially with so much riding on this tour. Preemptive damage control would’ve been in absolute overdrive because of the timing of it all. Speaking of timing, the early months of 2023 were a big moment for Travis Kelce. The Kelce brothers were about to face off in the Super Bowl and the media was saturated with them. All the Kelces have mentioned the attention and opportunities they were receiving during that time, including Donna. Scott Swift is a huge football fan, especially of the Eagles, and he was already at least acquainted with or had a casual friendship with Andy Reid. It's very likely that Taylor "dating" Travis Kelce was Scott Swift’s idea. During my “research” on this entire situation, I’ve come across multiple remarks about Taylor’s team traveling to/having meetings in KC in March of 2023. I am guessing that Taylor was so in love with Matty that she put her foot down with her team (including Scott) and wouldn’t participate in their plans regarding Travis at that time. Instead, she likely insisted on the April 8^th announcement of the breakup with Joe and doubled down on her relationship with Matty, mouthing loving messages to him and making her speech on stage about how happy she was and how her life finally made sense, being seen with him repeatedly and allowing him to be seen carrying bags into her apartment, etc.
I don’t know if Taylor or her team anticipated exactly how bad the publicity surrounding Matty would be or how intensely negative the response would be from a very vocal portion of her fanbase. I feel like most of us know about the narratives that ramped up against Matty, the SpeakUpNow letter, Swifties threatening to sell their concert tickets, Matty and his people receiving death threats, just all the BAD MESS, so I won’t make this even longer by going too deep into it. I have no doubt Taylor and Matty were experiencing a ton of pressure and emotional whiplash during all of that, which ultimately led to a painful and traumatic breakup for them. And that brings us right back to the suspended Travis Kelce plan. Taylor had shows in KC on July 7^th and 8^th of 2023. A couple weeks after that we get the cute little story from Travis on his podcast about trying to give Taylor a friendship bracelet with his number on it at her show (I have never and will never believe that bs for a single moment, no matter what). According to them, they start hanging out shortly after that, which is likely true. Ryan Reynolds apparently started following Travis on Instagram in early August so that timing checks out. (I could go off into a whole thing about Travis Kelce and Patrick Mahomes joining Ryan in the F1 Alpine deal, but this is already just SO MUCH). Next thing you know, we get Taylor appearing at a Chiefs game on September 24^th and it’s on from there. According to some Chiefs players, Taylor had already attended a game or two unnoticed and unmentioned (supposedly in the owners’ suite) prior to that September 24^th game. That’s interesting to note because of all it implies, such as how much the Chiefs/Hunts may have had to do with this whole deal between Taylor and Travis or just how it was clearly a choice with big motivations behind it for her to be seen at that 9/24 game.
Everything then goes AS PLANNED AND ORCHESTRATED for a few months. The public is captivated by the Taylor and Travis showmance and not even thinking much about Joe Alwyn or Matty Healy or any of the negative publicity surrounding Taylor anymore, the Chiefs and the entire NFL are profiting enormously, the popularity of the New Heights podcast is skyrocketing and catching the attention of major networks, every member of the Kelce family and Travis’ inner circle sees their public profile rising and more and more opportunities coming their way, the Eras tour is a history making success and so is the movie, the Chiefs pull off another Super Bowl win…it’s just a glorious, fantastic time when the whole plan is coming together and everyone remotely involved or connected to Taylor and Travis is benefiting and profiting beyond their wildest dreams. During all of this, Taylor is obviously working on TTPD, and everything connected to it, but I guess no one on Taylor’s team is too concerned about that because it keeps her motivated and pacified and it’s only going to make them all even more money so everything is just great, great, great. BUT THEN Taylor shows up at the Grammys drunk, making an ass of herself and announces the release. Now everyone is maybe back to thinking and talking about Taylor and Joe a bit, but it’s still ok because at least they aren’t talking about Matty and the Taylor and Travis show is still getting tons of attention, Travis is getting acting opportunities, all the Kelces are still benefiting in various ways; it’s all still good.
Then TTPD is released, and everything starts to take a turn. People are still talking, but now it’s mostly about Taylor and Matty or about Taylor and Travis, but only about what a great boyfriend Travis is to Taylor and what a perfect couple they are and their hypothetical impending nuptials and future potential offspring, etc. It probably doesn’t help that it’s off-season and there are no Chiefs games where Travis can shine with his football skills to try to bring some of the spotlight back to anything other than him maybe being the future Mr. Taylor Swift. Despite what many Swifties theorize about Travis, I do not for one moment think that’s his aim in life. This man wants FAME. His own mother repeatedly states how much he loves being the center of attention. And sure, he gets a lot of attention right now, but I have a feeling this is not panning out to be what he was hoping for when he signed up for all of this. His podcast is doing great, but its enormous surge in popularity is largely due to Swifties tuning in, hoping to hear a mention of Taylor (yes, I know it was already a very popular podcast – we wouldn’t be here if Travis Kelce had been an unsuccessful nobody, obviously). Everywhere he goes, everything he does, it’s all about Taylor now. Even at KELCE Jam, he was inundated with questions about Taylor. That might not be an issue except this is a man who already had a very big ego and desire to be hyper famous before Taylor Swift entered the picture. It may have seemed like a golden opportunity initially, but I think reality may be setting in for Travis and Co. and this may not have been the best deal for them in the long run. But the Chiefs and the NFL are deep into it now as well and l bet Travis has pressures on him that I would not even want to imagine coming from that side.
Meanwhile we have Taylor out here messing up the plans again, sending secret messages and singing surprise songs to Matty Healy during her sold-out concert tour where she’s added an entire set to imitate Matty and heighten the speculation and discussion surrounding their big “cosmic, tortured romance.” I feel sure she’s still in love with Matty and is absolutely in contact with him. Logically, their friendships and professional circles are far too intertwined for me to believe they would not be in any form of contact throughout all of this. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if they were already back together. I think it’s highly possible they’ve even been back together since shortly after their breakup last summer and that likely helped fuel the big push to launch the “relationship” between her and Travis the world. That’s another post for another time though and I still haven’t fully drawn my conclusions about that. Very long story short, I think they are all in a great big mess right now and things are taking a toll, and cracks are showing. I think this may all come crashing down around a lot of people very soon, but I’m betting Taylor Swift comes out on top no matter what somehow. Some people are just lucky like that.

Hey y'all!
I had a little excitement on my Candela Obscura mystery writing journey - I just hit my 5,000th download! That's way, way more players than I expected when I set out writing a couple months back.
Folks have been telling me how the stories play out at their tables, which delights me to hear - it's kind of like co-writing a story, GMs and players add their own twists and turns, with new relationships or personalities for a familiar cast of characters.
Some of the player twists, I totally use for when I run the investigations - like, the abandoned bunker radio in Listening Post Echo being haunted with the voices of trapped soldiers, in a death loop sort of situation? That's genius, way spookier than what I had in mind! And some player-written details just delight me, so I run those, too - Dr. Hux having a hunk boyfriend, that certainly sparks joy, that went straight into my head canon for the character.
It's fun to see the different directions players take the characters. I play Ashley from The Beast in the Binding as a sympathetic, heart-broken sort of character. One GM made her the villainess for their next assignment. At my tables, Ariadne the witch has been an ally, an antagonist, and (with remarkable consistency) a love interest XD. Folks keep falling for Ariadne, I didn't expect that at all when I wrote her!
Here are the links to each individual assignment/resource, in case you'd like to take a look :)
Hope ya have fun! Oh, and stay tuned, we'll be doing a benefit for famine aid in Palestine in a sec here.
Single Player Assignments:
Play Candela Obscura in single-player mode with these choose-your-own-adventure style modules.
The Descent, Solo Edition - you accompany a rag-tag expedition to the ancient Oldfairen ruins beneath the city, and discover the secrets of Dig Site #347!
Here's the Community Version (free): https://nostromosreliquary.itch.io/the-descent-solo-edition-community-version
Here's the Unabridged Version (paid): https://nostromosreliquary.itch.io/the-descent-solo-edition-unabridged-version
Editor's Choice Assignments:
Classic assignments that are good for beginners - if you're not sure where to start, start here!
The Beast in the Binding - an investigation where you track down a missing arcane tome: https://nostromosreliquary.itch.io/the-beast-in-the-binding
The In-Between - an interdimensional investigation where you discover where a dead man came from: https://nostromosreliquary.itch.io/the-in-between
The Descent - an investigation where you join an archaeological expedition deep beneath the city: https://nostromosreliquary.itch.io/the-descent
The Second Circle - a haunted house investigation: https://nostromosreliquary.itch.io/the-second-circle
Full Length Assignments:
Your standard Candela Obscura assignments - fully realized and ready-to-run!
The Train Job - an investigation where you chase a stolen tome in a series of high-stakes heists:
https://nostromosreliquary.itch.io/the-train-job
If It Bleeds, It Leads - an investigation into the murder of a prominent surgeon that reveals a dark secret: https://nostromosreliquary.itch.io/if-it-bleeds-it-leads
The Temple of Nepenthe - an investigation where you rescue a missing novelist: https://nostromosreliquary.itch.io/the-temple-of-nepenthe
The Paper Trail - an investigation where you find the culprit in a theft from the Briarbank College library: https://nostromosreliquary.itch.io/the-paper-trail
Lost in Dreams - a missing person's case where you track down a young student: https://nostromosreliquary.itch.io/lost-in-dreams
The Heaven-Sent Stranger - a horror story of isolation in the rural Fairelands: https://nostromosreliquary.itch.io/the-heaven-sent-stranger
Single Page Assignments:
Simple little ditties that you can roll out with zero prep!
Listening Post Echo - an abandoned bunker from the Last Great War with a terrible secret: https://nostromosreliquary.itch.io/listening-post-echo
The Score - your task is as simple as it is treacherous: intercept a package before anyone else can: https://nostromosreliquary.itch.io/the-score
Resources and Guides:
One-pagers for your investigators and lore for you, dearest GM!
Here's the "Arcane Compendium" with tomes of arcane lore: https://nostromosreliquary.itch.io/the-arcane-compendium
Here's the "How to Play" one-pager for easy printing: https://nostromosreliquary.itch.io/how-to-play-candela-one-page-guide
Here's the "Setting Guide" one-pager for easy distribution: https://nostromosreliquary.itch.io/candela-setting-guide

Question all of the above, no hate comments towards my disabilities guys. Would appreciate it. I'm 32 "M" turning 33 on June 1st. Never dated, trying to find a girlfriend at the moment. Someone I can "Settle down with" etc. I'm even pretty cool if she leaves. Sorry if this sounds arrogant of me. I have been trying to meet new people. I've been talking to girls lately too. Trying to build up confidence and get "Out of my shell, etc" How do I get girls to stay as friends? I don't want to turn into a "player" because that's not me. I actually have a crush on our mailwoman and shes really nice, we got the same stuff in common, and another girl that works at our vet too. Shes really out going, pretty, etc. Not judgemental, etc. Though I gotta be careful on the mailwoman thing i don't know how legal that is. Sorry. I don't see any "rings" on these women so I am hoping this is a good sign??? But I don't know if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend so I don't know how to properly ask them? Because I'm afraid of rejection. But don't wanna make the mailwomen seem awkward, first mailwomen in all honestly I've ever met that was super down to earth and open minded, etc. I was kinda shocked to be honest. Most mail people who deliver our mail tend to be rude, etc. But never seen one down to earth and pretty, etc. Shes around my age as well.
Question is, how do you tell if they got a boyfriend/girflriend, single, etc? I've been "sheltered" my entire life. Due to my learning disabilities and such. I am trying to fight it and fight my social anxiety and try to meet more women more. I used to have a fear of asking women out because I got bullied by one in school years ago in High School to the point where the school tried to accuse me of "Stalking" etc. You know how it goes. How ever I'm really trying to get over my trauma by asking a girl out. Literally. PLEASE be NICE. I am hoping someone can give me some advice or information on how to ask a girl out in my state with out sounding like a creep. I'm really nice, shy but once you get to know me I'm really talkative. Sorry guys. No hate speech please or comments. I'm really struggling here. :'( In the past 3 weeks I've been talking to women, and getting "Out of my shell" so I guess that's some improvement right??? Please be nice. I'm nervous while writing this post. How do you know if they are interested too? :/ Sorry. My parents really never told me how to date. :'( Don't bad mouth them please. It was for my protection/safety, etc. Thing is I can't drive either. So how would this work out? I live in a small town, so idk. Sorry. :'( Working on getting my license. I don't wanna date these women, but say I got a crush on them if that makes sense. Just showing improvement. Sorry. Need some encouragement here and tips. Apologies. And I know some women do date guys with disabilities. I've seen it before. Sorry.

Setting: Philippines 🇵🇭
So a while back at 2022 I met this girl who was unexpectedly lives close to ours and I knew her family well. She was 19 at the time and I 16. I like her because she has interesting ideas and is fun to talk to. Soon after I like like her and we became best friends. I noticed her red flags but I chose to stand by her because I hadn't had a girlfriend my entire life ,and as dumb as I am, I chose her out of impulse for my feelings to be satisfied of the curiosity.
When we became together it was so fucked up. I don't wanna talk about it in much detail but it we've met only 2 months.
Skipping to the Important bits. It turns out she was tied to numerous guys, especially foreigners. She was sending pictures(nudes), has been with some of them, and even has a boyfriend who she lived with for a few years, he was aged 47/48 at that time and she was I think 17/18 when they started dating. They've already did the deed , because with her previous boyfriend he also has done it as well. How'd I know? She told me and I then knew.
This particular foreigner, let's call him Jim has been together with let's say Jane for about 5 years now. She receives money from him because they're in a relationship and he offered to take care of her financially. Unbeknownst to him, she has cheated countless times just for shits and giggles, she call herself a "player" instead of a whore to cover her sluttiness. She playes psychology games very well and is also very suicidal so she can manipulate people at her own will as I have observed with her friends as well. They saw each other recently as he travels a lot because she has dispensable money,
Fast forward, I found out all of this because I borrowed her phone due to my phone breaking, so she trusted me to not look at her messages and I didn't, for atleast a day or two. I got so curious and there I found out all of this. I brought this issue to her a month later and she says that she will be breaking up with him soon as soon as she gets her inheritance/ the right time comes. She can't just let go of him yet because he Is her source of income.
Part 2 Continued later on...

I have been playing League for about 10 years now. After the first year or so, I started to rage and I'm not sure why. I started cussing at people and never fully controlled my behavior, and it has spiralled into what I am now, and I am ashamed at myself.
I've had multiple accounts banned and been chat restricted many times. But I continue to do it even when I have acknowledged what I'm doing is wrong and I need to stop. It's become a habit.
Last week I inquired about a restriction that I didn't know why I had been punished for and the support said it was one line that I had said one whole week ago which wasn't even that bad, and that they said I am "reported more than average for my region" which made me very offended, and I don't believe I'm reported more than the thousands of players in the U.S.
Anyhow, what I do is when I die, whether it's my fault or not, I cuss at them and rage. I'm not sure why this started and I have no clue since it's been so long as to why I continue to do so. I think there's a combination of things: I may have inherited part of my mother's issue that takes offense at any little thing that isn't something to be offended by (example: me not talking to her when I activate my fight or flight response she takes offense at); inherting part of my father's perfectionism--wanting to always win, hating that I lose, and hating so much when I die. Hating that the League of Legends has turned into such a shitfest of a game, and that all counterplay has essentially been taken out, and that people can kill in 0.2 seconds, which infuriates me because I'm used to the game it was 10 years ago where there were counters and more drawn out fights, making it more enjoyable. Hating that people camp in the bushes for easy kills as well. Hate that Riot has allowed such awful champions like Pyke into the game, and ruined balance and masteries that made the game so much fun before.
Plenty have talked back to me, laughing at me, mocking me for getting mad. I've been called a child or a kid more times than I can count, basically attacking me for being immature when I'm a full grown adult.
I've received my fair share of abuse when I said nothing as well, so I know I'm not the only one that plays League who says bad stuff. Just the other day, I wasn't even saying anything bad or raging, I just asked one of my teammates to stop dying, and he went off on me and told me "I should be banned from escaping the mental hospital" and to "find a rope" insinuating that I should end myself. To note, I have never gone that bad, I just say curses like "fck off" and "f u" and things like that.
I tell myself to do better and that I am going to stop, that I don't want to be seen as a bad person, that I don't want this to be who I am. And then I go into a game and I throw all of it out the window, and then get angry at myself after the game is over.
One said last week that if I get this mad I shouldn't be playing the game. Which offended me as well but I have taken breaks. I'm not addicted as I was back in college. I've gone months without playing. Many nights I turn to reading instead of gaming, or I play my ps5 Horizon games instead. I started out for a year playing it totally fine alongside my boyfriend at the time. But now since I started the rage, it hasn't stopped.
But I keep coming back to it because I want to be better at it. Climb to a higher rank.
I don't know why I am like this. Back then when I started I was in college, I wasn't going through anything really stressful, I didn't have trauma yet. I already was raging when I fell into depression after my fiance left me three weeks before our wedding. I think at the time I was finally away from my restrictive parents and being able to say what ever I wanted was freeing, in a way.
I don't know what to do. But I want to do better. I don't want this to label me as a bad person, and it scares me to have this side of me in my life. Scares me to think that I will tell this to my future husband one day, and what he will think of me.
Does anyone have any insight? Any tips on to stop this? I don't have the money for therapy at this time, either. I don't know where to begin to get better with this.

This is just my opinion and you're free to disagree or discuss further in the replies because I'm kinda just venting my thoughts, but I personally believe that the story of FFXV would've been a bit more coherent if LuNoct was a familial relationship and I'll explain why. I mainly say this because due to the game's emphasis on brotherhood, fatheson bonding, familial ties, etc., Luna and Noct's bond inevitably got pushed to the background, mainly with how Luna's character as a whole had so little screen time.
The fact that there's such a large amount of people who came to the consensus that Luna and Noct's relationship was poorly written, or that they were never even attracted to each other in the first place, kind of cements that regardless of whether or not LuNoct is "canon" isn't the issue, it's that its overall reception by players was below average at best because honestly, Luna and Noct...barely talk.
Normally, I'm okay with love stories in Final Fantasy games because they're generally well executed, but FFXV specifically is probably the one Final Fantasy game that I genuinely believe shouldn't have had any romance at all, because the relationship Noct has with Prompto, Ignis, Gladio, and Regis (and the overall theme of "family") is obviously meant to have more impact on the player and serve more importance to the story by comparison. But something that made me start considering a hypothetical solution with how many consider the romance shoehorned/unnecessary/etc., is specifically the scene where Luna dies.
In a vast majority of the scene, Noct is presented as his childhood self, while Luna transforms into her adult self fairly quickly and they remain that way until Noct blips into an adult at the very end. Contrary to what some people believe, Luna and Noct's physical states in Luna's death scene isn't actually meant to be a metaphorical representation of their maturity levels/mental states, but very, very literal. This is because in Japanese, young Noct in that cutscene uses the pronoun 僕 (boku), a pronoun mainly used by young boys, instead of 俺 (ore), the more masculine and rough pronoun used by adult Noct. Basically, throughout almost the entire cutscene Luna is speaking to an actual small boy, not a man merely in the image of a child.
When I remember that their relationship is meant to be romantic when presented with the image of the literal adult Luna speaking so fondly to the literal child Noct, it comes off as a very odd writing choice to me that could have some problematic implications. But I feel like a way to ease the discomfort of that scene's implication is if Luna and Noct's relationship was changed from romantic, to familial.
Here's my reasoning behind that.
There's barely any mention of her in-universe so I don't really blame anyone for forgetting her character exists, but the game briefly touches on the fact that Noctis's mother, Aulea, died when he was so young that he doesn't even remember her at all. IIRC, he was still a baby at the time. Regis was unfortunately too occupied with his duties as king to truly be there for Noct as a father, and although he had Ignis and Gladio, and later Prompto to ease the pain of his father's absence, Noct had nobody to fill in that familial gap that his mother left behind. Luna is important in that sense because she's his first source of guidance and warmth that isn't a boy, but an older girl.
(And as a side note: No, just because Ignis is a man that happens to cook, look after Noct, etc., doesn't make him Noct's "mother". A caretaker, yes, but the FFXV fandom's insistence on using the term "mom" to describe Ignis's role to Noct is honestly really irritating and overdone at this rate, not to mention it perpetuates a very outdated view on sewing, cooking, caretaking, etc. being "a mother's job". Ignis is not a "mother", that is a grown man with a cock and balls.)
Even more than the fact that their marriage is repeatedly mentioned to be arranged by King Regis and Emperor Aldercapt and solely meant to serve as a symbol of Lucis and Niflheim's armistice, Luna's emphasis on watching over (Or "protecting", if you translate the Japanese version literally.) Noct, and even more than Luna's fondness for looking back on her childhood with Noct and yearning for those days of innocence, I feel like it's Luna's actual role as Oracle that gives the most support to my opinion that making their relationship romantic wasn't necessarily a good decision. As Oracle, Luna's duty is to be a guiding force for Noctis to help him on his journey, from teaching him all about his destiny when they are children, to paving the way for Noct to forge covenants with the Astrals when they are adults. Despite her mentioning "I do not seek to guide him, merely to stand beside him." in one cutscene, it doesn't change that her very birthright is intrinsically tied to being a guiding force for Noct. The way the bros react after Luna's death prove this: Without Luna, they are borderline aimless.
All of this honestly would've felt more understandable if Noct and Luna's sentiments towards one another were meant in a familial context, like perhaps a mother-figure to her son-figure, thus filling the gap that Aulea's death had left behind and tying in better with FFXV's theme of "familial bonds".
In that sense, Luna's role as Oracle would be less like an overly selfless, obedient, and devoted girlfriend endlessly breaking her back to support her wayward, immature boyfriend, while never questioning this relationship dynamic or even getting anything in return, until she ultimately dies, and more like a mother-figure wanting to guide her child-figure into fulfilling his destiny/reaching adulthood with what little time she has left, since canonically the covenants are shown to be slowly killing her regardless and she would've died soon anyway, with or without Ardyn stabbing her. And her death scene in particular would then come off less like an 8 year old boy is losing his 24 year old crush (...That alone feels even more bizarre of a concept now that I had just typed it out.), and more like a small child being orphaned, losing his one remaining source of familial guidance and security after his beloved father had passed.
I think that small bit of tweaking to their relationship would've resonated more with players overall, and would also prove that stories don't always need to include a romance. But as I said at the beginning of this post, this is just my own personal thoughts and my reasoning behind them. Whether you agree or not, I'd love to hear what y'all think.

So basically my ex we broke up like 4 days ago max i think we broke up in may 16 2024 well my ex has lots of ex like 14-17 and my ex cousin told me that her other ex’s broke up with my ex because my ex used to like other people when my ex was dating her ex’s and also while dating me,well today she got with someone and is been 4 days and a quote says “if your ex gets with someone before 4 months max or something like that they never cared about yall relationship” so like i dont know but also.she liked other people while dating me and she thought i wouldn’t notice but also while she was dating me,she went somewhere because of a school thing idk but it was for people that participated in it well my friends told me that while there,my ex and my ex boyfriend (before they dated yk) they told me that they were sharing same blanket and candy and other stuff and they watched movies together and were cuddling and yea so am i the asshole? And i need help to move on.so help me out and am i the asshole for calling my ex a player?.

A lot of people have been requesting these themes recently and it's something I really like to read. So thought I would make a collection here of some of the femdom and femdom-adjacent books I've read, and ask for your recommendations as well.
First, what is femdom? In my understanding, it's a sexual dynamic in which the female is more dominant, contrary to the more commonly represented “male Dom” in romance books.
Femdom is more likely to have a focus on female pleasure and the other character(s) “servicing” her and doing what she says. Common related kinks are the submissive character on their knees, begging, praise kink e.g. “good boy”, anal play/pegging, orgasm control.
BDSM books may also include the FMC dominating with impact play, bondage, edging, pain, orgasm denial, humiliation etc. I personally prefer “gentle femdom” which is less focussed on this stuff and more about caretaking, praise and gentle control. Of course there are lots of books which fall somewhere in between or have both.
Book suggestions Disclaimer: these are all books I've read but my memory isn't always accurate, sorry if I've made any errors in the descriptions! Also, I'm not in the real life BDSM community so I don't know whether they're realistic representations, they're just books I found fun.
Fairly BDSM-heavy femdom
{Mercy by Sara Cate} - MF, older female, younger male, he is her best friend's son, FMC works for a sex club in an administrative role and they're both new to kink.
{Madame by Sara Cate} - FFM, older female, younger male and younger female, single Mum. Two of the characters are in an existing relationship and when the FMC found out her boyfriend is into kink, she asks the other FMC to teach her. The other FMC happens to also be his ex. They're all a bit switchy and the sex scenes are great.
{Impact by Nikki Markham} FF, one FMC is an experienced Domme
{Servicing the Target by Cherise Sinclair} MF, she is an experienced Domme, the MMC is not her usual type and considers himself to be “vanilla” but is interested in trying, so she helps him discover the scene.
{Something Borrowed by Eve Dangerfield} MF - second chance, enemies to lovers, forced proximity as they have to spend time together as a friend's destination wedding. The FMC knows she is a Domme and has struggled with being judged for this and finds it difficult to find romantic partners. The MMC is up for it!
{Unbound by Cara McKenna} MF - forced proximity, stoic MMC and sunshine FMC. The MMC lives in a cabin in the woods and thinks he is unnatural for his desires to be tied up and dominated. TW for alcoholism.
{Preferential Treatment by Heather Guerre} MF - MMC is a Russian billionaire who asks the FMC (his employee) to dominate him for money, he just wants to spoil her and it ends up much sweeter than it sounds!
More gentle femdom
{Open Hearts by Eve Dangerfield} MF, he is a complete golden retriever who just wants her to be happy, she is a somewhat grumpy nurse who wants to have a baby. Good boy / himbo energy
{Truly Madly Deeply by Alexandria Bellefleur} MF, another golden retriever who begs to eat her out and wants to be good for her and look after her.
{Landslide by Kathryn Nolan} MF, Burly bearded sub guy, FMC is a make-up artist. they meet when she is on location for a job. They have a great time but he's unwilling to leave and she's unwilling to stay.
{Claimed by the Flame of Faery by Mallory Dunlin} MF fantasy. The MMC is a half dragon, the FMC is sent to live with him to save her Father’s life. It's a bit of a Beauty and the Beast retelling. He has really bad self esteem around his body, is totally touch-starved and craves physical affection.
{Wild Pitch by Cat Giraldo} MF sports, they're both baseball players on the same team. Age gap - he is older than her and a veteran player, she's the newbie. The writing wasn't the best in this but the sex scenes were excellent.
{Maneater by Emily Antoinette} MF male witch and female succubus.
{Berries and Greed by Lily Mayne} MF paranormal. The MMC is a “demiurgus” monster and the FMC is human. She has vaginismus and he has a barbed penis, so MF penetration is not possible. This is very sweet femdom, in a slice of life story about people who love wearing slippers and watching a lot of TV.
{His Secret Illuminations by Scarlett Gale} and {His Sacred Incantations by Scarlett Gale} MF fantasy, a female warrior and a small and meek male monk embark on a quest together. He falls for her immediately and has some angst about keeping his vows of celibacy, so it's a fairly slow burn with most of the sex scenes coming in the second book. There's a lot of gentle loving praise interspersed with harder stuff and it's great.
Shades of femdom - woman who is not submissive in the bedroom, takes charge at times, but isn't really "a domme" either
{Superbia by Colette Rhodes} MF paranormal. MMC is a smoke monster and FMC is a monster hunter. She takes charge a lot, and bosses him around in the bedroom and out of it.
{Shots and Barbs by Lily Mayne} MF paranormal - another demiurgus one. Both of them take charge at times, there is pegging and anal play but I wouldn't say it's strictly femdom.
{Strictly Professional by Kathryn Nolan} MF contemporary - she is a tattoo artist running a failing business, he's a buttoned up hotelier. They have a one night stand and later on he becomes her business studies mentor. The sex scenes are very push-and-pull with both of them in charge at times.
Omegaverse
{Rut Bar by Alexis B Osborne} MMMF - one of the male alphas is a sub and the FMC (omega) Dom's him, but she's submissive to the other two alphas
{Bad Alpha by Kathryn Moon} MMMF, female alpha and male omega, she's definitely the dominant one. There are two (three?) other male alphas
Related - MMCs with praise kink
{Not all Himbos Wear Capes} MM
{Brutal Vows JT Geissinger} MF
{Candy Hearts by Erin Mclellan} MM
{Demon Lover by Heather Guerre} MF
{Pucking Around by Emily Rath} MMFM
Please do let me know if you have any more books which fit into these categories. I would especially like to find some more FF books as I've seen very few. I have a few femdom books on my TBR, but I can always have more!
Edit: thank you for the awards, kind redditors! I don't seem to be able to find out who it was, but I appreciate it!
Edit 2: Wow there are so many great suggestions, I wasn't expecting this many upvotes, comments and awards. I think we've disproved the theory in a recent thread that "femdom isn't popular because nobody wants to read it" - authors and publishers please give us more!

I’m a Kentucky fan. Our success under Mark Stoops in making us an adequate SEC program has led us to enter the competition of who will finish behind Georgia in the SEC East. In this group are three teams Florida, South Carolina, and Missouri.
TLDR; is a completely self-indulgent piece about UK football and how their current success has brought the question of who the rivals are now. Florida is probably not due to historical success, it’s up to them to decide. Mizzou is our coworker, not a rival. South Carolina can eat a bag of dicks.
Also Fuck Tennessee
I think I should start by defining a rivalry. The two programs need to be close enough in short-term and long-term success to draw comparisons. Games between the schools need to occur regularly and there needs to be mutual hate.
Florida for years would beat the living shit out of us. Your players had career games, and draft highlight tapes. Every fan in the Bluegrass state loathed playing you all and we never thought we would see the day the mighty Florida Gators would whimper. The best moment of the series for us was when we knocked out Tim Tebow. It’s not because we like to see players injured, but because it felt cathartic to draw blood on our god-king overlords finally. Even in that game, we lost 41-7.
Now we have won three games straight, with us blowing y’all out last year. Even though we are 4-6 in the last 10 matchups, it is usually a competitive game with huge memorable plays. We are a check for playing regularly and it is competitive.
Is there hate?
Stoops hates Florida. He was a defensive coordinator at both Miami and FSU and has always brought a different intensity to the Florida game. When Stoops won his 100th game we celebrated by frying a Gator. Kentucky fans hate Florida, but do Florida fans even think about UK?
Florida has pissed off every fan base at some point. From the stupid “two bits” chant, corny ass chomp, and them chanting “it’s great to be a Florida Gator” after every TD. There’s nothing that pours salt in the wound quite like hearing that shit in your home stadium after Jeff Badet drops a wide-open catch in the end zone to lose the game.
Florida is hated by FSU, Miami, LSU, Tennessee(fuck you btw), Alabama, and Georgia. Historically they’re a time national champion. I feel like they view us as a momentary speed bump until they reach CFB glory again. Unfortunately for them, that’s not true. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe Florida fans hate us and view us as little brother rivals. Florida fans let me know what you think.
Missouri? I put Missouri on the list because they fit the criteria. Historically they are a better program than UK, but since joining the SEC has been on par with UK. UK has a winning record against Missouri 9-6 and there have been no true blowouts. There have been some big plays late and controversial calls. Your coach and players don’t like us. Our players seem to not like y’all either. We all hate having to go to your stadium to play, not because of the atmosphere (which is great btw) it’s just Missouri. I think the best way I can summarize my feelings is through an analogy.
I play NCAA 14 dynasties to completion. I go for either 60 years or until the game starts crashing. The problem is after you win 5 national championships in a row you can get anybody you want and the game isn’t a game anymore, it’s a job of being dominant. You’re faced with a choice either leave to a new school or edit your opponents to be a challenge. Each has these perks and shortcomings. Editing is very tedious but, you only have one dream school. The tedious part with editing is you can’t just make a bunch of guys 99 and call it a day. I’m sure a couple of teams don’t need the spit shine, but you can’t play 12 of the same boring team and you need to challenge yourself. What you have to do is edit their playbooks and schemes so they play in different and fun ways but more importantly you have to find out how to stop them. You can make a mimic team (they are you but a different color, crazy, right?), or triple option no-huddle, or my favorite the anti-thesis team, or whatever you can think of. The issue is some of these teams will make you eat shit on a platter. This forces you to either to De-edit the team - like a bitch - or get good. Getting good though requires discipline, repetition, and practice. My solution was to make less talented versions of these all 99 squads to play before I hand the big showdown. Kind of like a level boss before the BBEG.
My BBEG was an antithesis team and was Kentucky's most hated Rival Louisville. I had lost to them in a couple of blowouts so, to better myself I edited Temple. I picked them because they played at the Philadelphia Eagles Stadium, and the Eagles are my favorite team. I'm quite fond of Philidelphia due to Ben Franklin and Philly Cheesesteaks. I have nothing against the real-life University of Temple, but I ended up hating the Temple game more than Louisville's game. Louisville there was a challenge I had to play perfect to win, every play had stakes. One bad read and I cost my team a national title to our arch-rival. Temple, I knew I was going to win, but it was going to be a miserable slog. Temple would not allow ANY big plays and would only allow 3-4 yards at a time if you fell behind the sticks you had to punt. Every time a run went for negative yards or a sack it was like you were Sisphyus watching your boulder roll back down the hill at the end of the day. Fortunately, their offense was dog shit and it would be a quick 3&out. I would feel no gratification from winning, only relief that it was over. I never felt animosity or hatred towards them it just felt like they were just doing their job. I would root for them against other teams. Hoping the other teams would feel the same virtual torment I endured.
Missouri is Temple. I don’t care about them. I have complete apathy towards them. I don’t expect to win against them, I expect to endure 60 minutes of football. I never expect fun to creep into the occasion. If something fun happens, I expect it to happen by accident. I don't expect anyone to see the one cool play either, you will go to the restroom or get a plate of nachos only to return to your seat and see a replay of it, you'll ask your friend about that play. He will say "Oh... it wasn't that exciting life." A Kentucky-Missouri football game is not a football game; it is a test of one’s fandom and loyalty to the game of football. It is an endurance of football on par with an Iowa football game, there is no joy, no happiness, no pleasure just two-yard runs and punts.
I don’t consider you a rival, I consider you a coworker that Greg Sankey makes us mud wrestle in a pool at our company Christmas party for our holiday bonus. I know it’s not your fault and it’s an experience we both must suffer through to get our wife’s boyfriends a collectors edition Optimus Prime.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this Missouri fans.
Hey South Carolina, GO FUCK YOURSELF!!! I hate your venereal disease ass state, I hate your Michael Scott ass coach, and I hate Darude Sandstorm. Who the fuck listen to that and thought “People need to hear this”
I’m sorry let me backtrack.
South Carolina historically is equal to Kentucky, only recently did Steve Spurrier make them an adequate SEC program. South Carolina does lead the series 20-14. The series has been marred by memorable moments and has been defined by streaks. Flames have been stoked when Beamer first joined USC, Stoops said “You can’t just put on some sunglasses and start winning games” in response to a corny ass tik tok Beamer made. Beamer is taking that personally as he brought a different level of energy to the games. There’s been more shots and there’s more history between the two coaches than just that but to keep it short and sweet they hate each other. The teams don’t like each other. I hate them. Their fans seem to not like us either. What are we gonna call this rivalry? Let me know what you think South Carolina fans.
PS Fuck Tennessee

I’m a Kentucky fan. Our success under Mark Stoops in making us an adequate SEC program has led us to enter the competition of who will finish behind Georgia in the SEC East. In this group are three teams Florida, South Carolina, and Missouri.
TLDR; is a completely self-indulgent piece about UK football and how their current success has brought the question of who the rivals are now. Florida is probably not due to historical success, it’s up to them to decide. Mizzou is our coworker, not a rival. South Carolina can eat a bag of dicks.
Also Fuck Tennessee
I think I should start by defining a rivalry. The two programs need to be close enough in short-term and long-term success to draw comparisons. Games between the schools need to occur regularly and there needs to be mutual hate.
Florida for years would beat the living shit out of us. Your players had career games, and draft highlight tapes. Every fan in the Bluegrass state loathed playing you all and we never thought we would see the day the mighty Florida Gators would whimper. The best moment of the series for us was when we knocked out Tim Tebow. It’s not because we like to see players injured, but because it felt cathartic to draw blood on our god-king overlords finally. Even in that game, we lost 41-7.
Now we have won three games straight, with us blowing y’all out last year. Even though we are 4-6 in the last 10 matchups, it is usually a competitive game with huge memorable plays. We are a check for playing regularly and it is competitive.
Is there hate?
Stoops hates Florida. He was a defensive coordinator at both Miami and FSU and has always brought a different intensity to the Florida game. When Stoops won his 100th game we celebrated by frying a Gator. Kentucky fans hate Florida, but do Florida fans even think about UK?
Florida has pissed off every fan base at some point. From the stupid “two bits” chant, corny ass chomp, and them chanting “it’s great to be a Florida Gator” after every TD. There’s nothing that pours salt in the wound quite like hearing that shit in your home stadium after Jeff Badet drops a wide-open catch in the end zone to lose the game.
Florida is hated by FSU, Miami, LSU, Tennessee(fuck you btw), Alabama, and Georgia. Historically they’re a time national champion. I feel like they view us as a momentary speed bump until they reach CFB glory again. Unfortunately for them, that’s not true. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe Florida fans hate us and view us as little brother rivals. Florida fans let me know what you think.
Missouri? I put Missouri on the list because they fit the criteria. Historically they are a better program than UK, but since joining the SEC has been on par with UK. UK has a winning record against Missouri 9-6 and there have been no true blowouts. There have been some big plays late and controversial calls. Your coach and players don’t like us. Our players seem to not like y’all either. We all hate having to go to your stadium to play, not because of the atmosphere (which is great btw) it’s just Missouri. I think the best way I can summarize my feelings is through an analogy.
I play NCAA 14 dynasties to completion. I go for either 60 years or until the game starts crashing. The problem is after you win 5 national championships in a row you can get anybody you want and the game isn’t a game anymore, it’s a job of being dominant. You’re faced with a choice either leave to a new school or edit your opponents to be a challenge. Each has these perks and shortcomings. Editing is very tedious but, you only have one dream school. The tedious part with editing is you can’t just make a bunch of guys 99 and call it a day. I’m sure a couple of teams don’t need the spit shine, but you can’t play 12 of the same boring team and you need to challenge yourself. What you have to do is edit their playbooks and schemes so they play in different and fun ways but more importantly you have to find out how to stop them. You can make a mimic team (they are you but a different color, crazy, right?), or triple option no-huddle, or my favorite the anti-thesis team, or whatever you can think of. The issue is some of these teams will make you eat shit on a platter. This forces you to either to De-edit the team - like a bitch - or get good. Getting good though requires discipline, repetition, and practice. My solution was to make less talented versions of these all 99 squads to play before I hand the big showdown. Kind of like a level boss before the BBEG.
My BBEG was an antithesis team and was Kentucky's most hated Rival Louisville. I had lost to them in a couple of blowouts so, to better myself I edited Temple. I picked them because they played at the Philadelphia Eagles Stadium, and the Eagles are my favorite team. I'm quite fond of Philidelphia due to Ben Franklin and Philly Cheesesteaks. I have nothing against the real-life University of Temple, but I ended up hating the Temple game more than Louisville's game. Louisville there was a challenge I had to play perfect to win, every play had stakes. One bad read and I cost my team a national title to our arch-rival. Temple, I knew I was going to win, but it was going to be a miserable slog. Temple would not allow ANY big plays and would only allow 3-4 yards at a time if you fell behind the sticks you had to punt. Every time a run went for negative yards or a sack it was like you were Sisphyus watching your boulder roll back down the hill at the end of the day. Fortunately, their offense was dog shit and it would be a quick 3&out. I would feel no gratification from winning, only relief that it was over. I never felt animosity or hatred towards them it just felt like they were just doing their job. I would root for them against other teams. Hoping the other teams would feel the same virtual torment I endured.
Missouri is Temple. I don’t care about them. I have complete apathy towards them. I don’t expect to win against them, I expect to endure 60 minutes of football. I never expect fun to creep into the occasion. If something fun happens, I expect it to happen by accident. I don't expect anyone to see the one cool play either, you will go to the restroom or get a plate of nachos only to return to your seat and see a replay of it, you'll ask your friend about that play. He will say "Oh... it wasn't that exciting life." A Kentucky-Missouri football game is not a football game; it is a test of one’s fandom and loyalty to the game of football. It is an endurance of football on par with an Iowa football game, there is no joy, no happiness, no pleasure just two-yard runs and punts.
I don’t consider you a rival, I consider you a coworker that Greg Sankey makes us mud wrestle in a pool at our company Christmas party for our holiday bonus. I know it’s not your fault and it’s an experience we both must suffer through to get our wife’s boyfriends a collectors edition Optimus Prime.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this Missouri fans.
Hey South Carolina, GO FUCK YOURSELF!!! I hate your venereal disease ass state, I hate your Michael Scott ass coach, and I hate Darude Sandstorm. Who the fuck listen to that and thought “People need to hear this”
I’m sorry let me backtrack.
South Carolina historically is equal to Kentucky, only recently did Steve Spurrier make them an adequate SEC program. South Carolina does lead the series 20-14. The series has been marred by memorable moments and has been defined by streaks. Flames have been stoked when Beamer first joined USC, Stoops said “You can’t just put on some sunglasses and start winning games” in response to a corny ass tik tok Beamer made. Beamer is taking that personally as he brought a different level of energy to the games. There’s been more shots and there’s more history between the two coaches than just that but to keep it short and sweet they hate each other. The teams don’t like each other. I hate them. Their fans seem to not like us either. What are we gonna call this rivalry? Let me know what you think South Carolina fans.
Ps go fuck your sister Tennessee

My(24F) boyfriend(25M) is an oboeist. I must admit, before meeting him I knew nothing about this little instrument. When watching movies, I had always wondered what that soothing tune was, it felt mystical, something I would imagine playing deep in the woods where fairies danced - I had decided it was some mix of a flute and a violin (sorry if that offends anyone, I was illiterate in classical music :P). When I went on my first date with my boyfriend he showed me the Swan lake solo as an example of the oboe - it was that mysterious instrument I had always wondered about! Turns out it's just as magical and alive as it sounds - needing deep care and nimble fingers.
It was our second date when he showed me his oboe. I went over to his house and he demonstrated the delicate instrument. He took care of it like it was his first born child. I asked him to play something for me and he did. I fell in love instantly. Before playing, he blew on the reed by itself - testing it out I imagine. It sounded like a little duckling. Absolutely adorable. Nowadays I ask him to make that little duckling sound for me. I have videos of it saved on my phone. Following the duckling's announcement, he played snippets of a couple songs - Swan lake, Tangled, Aladin . I fell in love instantly. It was that fairy like music I had always longed for. And it was being played just for me. The music was just one part of the beauty. I loved the way his fingers swiftly moved across the oboe, and the way he swayed to his own sound. But the most adorable part was his face, which I have since named the oboe face - where he purses his lips and puffs up his cheeks. Adorable. Even more adorable because he looks so serious, with brows furrowed and deep concentration. Yet his cheeks are full like a chipmunk trying to contain its nuts. I love it. I never get tired of it. That same day he let me play his oboe - a big deal apparently because he never let's anyone touch it. It made me feel so special. Actually this entire second date made me feel special. I consider it the day I truly fell in love.
We've been together for almost a year now and he still makes me feel special when he plays for me. He made a video of himself playing city of stars - which is now my favorite song. He rented a boat in la seine and brought his oboe to play for me. He plays for me when I have trouble sleeping. I've even started making a Playlist of songs I'd like to hear. The oboe has played (pun intended) a core role in our relationship.
I've heard people have varying opinions on oboeists. So I want to share mine. The oboe is magical, and it's players even more so.

I posted this on CFB and would like to see y'alls thoughts on this
I’m a Kentucky fan. Our success under Mark Stoops in making us an adequate SEC program has led us to enter the competition of who will finish behind Georgia in the SEC East. In this group are three teams Florida, South Carolina, and Missouri.
TLDR; is a completely self-indulgent piece about UK football and how their current success has brought the question of who the rivals are now. Florida is probably not due to historical success, it’s up to them to decide. Mizzou is our coworker, not a rival. South Carolina can eat a bag of dicks.
Also Fuck Tennessee
I think I should start by defining a rivalry. The two programs need to be close enough in short-term and long-term success to draw comparisons. Games between the schools need to occur regularly and there needs to be mutual hate.
Florida for years would beat the living shit out of us. Your players had career games, and draft highlight tapes. Every fan in the Bluegrass state loathed playing you all and we never thought we would see the day the mighty Florida Gators would whimper. The best moment of the series for us was when we knocked out Tim Tebow. It’s not because we like to see players injured, but because it felt cathartic to draw blood on our god-king overlords finally. Even in that game, we lost 41-7.
Now we have won three games straight, with us blowing y’all out last year. Even though we are 4-6 in the last 10 matchups, it is usually a competitive game with huge memorable plays. We check the boxes for playing regularly and it being competitive.
Is there hate?
Stoops hates Florida. He was a defensive coach at both Miami and FSU and has always brought a different intensity to the Florida game. When Stoops won his 100th game we celebrated by frying a Gator. Kentucky fans hate Florida, but do Florida fans even think about UK?
Florida has pissed off every fan base at some point. From the stupid “two bits” chant, corny ass chomp, and them chanting “it’s great to be a Florida Gator” after every TD. There’s nothing that pours salt in the wound quite like hearing that shit in your home stadium after Jeff Badet drops a wide-open game winning TD in the to lose the game.
Florida is hated by FSU, Miami, LSU, Tennessee(fuck you btw), Alabama, and Georgia. Historically they’re a three time national champion. I feel like they view us as a momentary speed bump until they reach CFB glory again. Unfortunately for them, that’s not true. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe Florida fans hate us and view us as little brother rivals. Florida fans let me know what you think.
Missouri? I put Missouri on the list because they fit the criteria. Historically they are a better program than UK, but since joining the SEC has been on par with UK. UK has a winning record against Missouri 9-5 and there have been no true blowouts. There have been some big plays late and controversial calls. Your players don’t like us. We fans hate having to travel to Mizzou to play, not because of the atmosphere (which is great btw) it’s just Missouri. I think the best way I can summarize my feelings is through an analogy.
I play NCAA 14 dynasties to completion. I go for either 60 years or until the game starts crashing. The problem is after you win 5 national championships in a row you can get anybody you want and the game isn’t a game anymore, it’s a job of being dominant. You’re faced with a choice either leave to a new school or edit your opponents to be a challenge. Each has these perks and shortcomings. Editing is very tedious but, you only have one dream school. The tedious part with editing is you can’t just make a bunch of guys 99 and call it a day. I’m sure a couple of teams don’t need the spit shine, but you can’t play 12 of the same boring team and you need to challenge yourself. What you have to do is edit their playbooks and schemes so they play in different and fun ways but more importantly you have to find out how to stop them. You can make a mimic team (they are you but a different color, crazy, right?), or triple option no-huddle, or my favorite the anti-thesis team, or whatever you can think of. The issue is some of these teams will make you eat shit on a platter. This forces you to either to De-edit the team - like a bitch - or get good. Getting good though requires discipline, repetition, and practice. My solution was to make less talented versions of these all 99 squads to play before I hand the big showdown. Kind of like a level boss before the BBEG.
My BBEG was an antithesis team and was Kentucky's most hated Rival Louisville. I had lost to them in a couple of blowouts so, to better myself I edited Temple. I picked them because they played at the Philadelphia Eagles Stadium, and the Eagles are my favorite team. I'm quite fond of Philidelphia due to Ben Franklin and Philly Cheesesteaks. I have nothing against the real-life University of Temple, but I ended up hating the Temple game more than Louisville's game. Louisville there was a challenge I had to play perfect to win, every play had stakes. One bad read and I cost my team a national title to our arch-rival. Temple, I knew I was going to win, but it was going to be a miserable slog. Temple would not allow ANY big plays and would only allow 3-4 yards at a time if you fell behind the sticks you had to punt. Every time a run went for negative yards or a sack it was like you were Sisphyus watching your boulder roll back down the hill at the end of the day. Fortunately, their offense was dog shit and it would be a quick 3&out. I would feel no gratification from winning, only relief that it was over. I never felt animosity or hatred towards them it just felt like they were just doing their job. I would root for them against other teams. Hoping the other teams would feel the same virtual torment I endured.
Missouri is Temple. I don’t care about them. I have complete apathy towards them. I don’t expect to win against them, I expect to endure 60 minutes of football. I never expect fun to creep into the occasion. If something fun happens, I expect it to happen by accident. I don't expect anyone to see the one cool play either, you will go to the restroom, return to your seat and see a replay of it, you'll ask your friend about that play. He will say "Oh... it wasn't that exciting." A Kentucky-Missouri football game is not a football game; it is a test of one’s fandom and loyalty to the game of football. It is an endurance of football on par with an Iowa football game, there is no joy, no happiness, no pleasure just two-yard runs and punts.
I don’t consider you a rival, I consider you a coworker that Greg Sankey makes us mud wrestle in a pool at our company Christmas party for our holiday bonus. I know it’s not your fault and it’s an experience we both must suffer through to get our wife’s boyfriends a collectors edition Optimus Prime.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this Missouri fans.
Hey South Carolina, GO FUCK YOURSELF!!! I hate your venereal disease ass state, I hate your Michael Scott ass coach, and I hate Darude Sandstorm. Who the fuck listen to that and thought “People need to hear this”
I’m sorry let me backtrack.
South Carolina historically is equal to Kentucky, only recently did Steve Spurrier make them an adequate SEC program. South Carolina does lead the series 20-14. The series has been marred by memorable moments and has been defined by streaks. Flames have been stoked when Beamer first joined USC, Stoops said “You can’t just put on some sunglasses and start winning games” in response to a corny ass tik tok Beamer made. Beamer is taking that personally as he brought a different level of energy to the games. There’s been more shots and there’s more history between the two coaches than just that but to keep it short and sweet they hate each other. The teams don’t like each other. I hate them. Their fans seem to not like us either. What are we gonna call this rivalry? I'm partial to the cock fight and the winner gets a golden pair of sunglasses. Let me know what you think South Carolina fans.
Ps go fuck your sister Tennessee

I have owned a game shop for 10 years now. I see neck beard types. I see leg beard types. I see incels. The whole rainbow of cringe is often in my very shop. They play their games. Stink up the joint. Above all else though they got on my ever loving nerves I swear.
I bought the shop back in 2013ish after my grandfather died. He left me some decent money, which is about all the good he ever did. Cranky old man stuck around far too long and was a drain on myself. My parents saddled me with caring for him. My only escape from that bitter old man was the game shop. I would go and play war games and yugioh. Around 2011 I was banned from the store for chronically selling yugioh cards in the shop. Something the crotchety land whale that owned the shop did not like. So he banned me. When my grandfather finally died he afforded me the opportunity to lift my ban by purchasing the shop at a high markup. I may have overpaid, but it was worth it to get back my home away from home and to ban that landwhale from his own shop.
Once I took over. I learnt that I wouldn’t be able to participate in games as much unless I wanted to hire employees. Which I did not. I don’t really understand the taxes and had no interest in paying extra to employ people. So I basically ran it all myself for a damn long time. It was fun at first. But I realized I actually hated my customers. I hated games. I hated these goblins that occupied my shop for events and game nights. That’s how you make money though. Stupid events for stupid little neckbeards.
So I am gonna tell you about some choice individuals. I like to call them The Party. Four human shaped food holes that were far too loud. When I was young, back in the 80’s dungeons and dragons wasn’t fun. It was a game to be won. I dont know what happened. Maybe it was all them critical role streamers that ruined it. At some point neck beards gravitated to dungeons and dragons as a form of fun. As a way to make jokes. They basically ruined the game. I hate that they ruined a great war game and turned it into nothing but jokes. Us older nerds get not a drop of respect as these youngins trample over our great games.
The party consisted of two manlet weirdos. Dressed in what looked to be homemade wizard robes. A tall thin man dressed in an outfit that would be seen on frank sinatra. And the loudest legbeard landwhale I have ever had the displeasure of meeting. They would come in on open play nights and occupy the back room where the warhammer gamers played. Their volume was completely unacceptable. I had asked them politely several times to keep it down. I had received several complaints from the warhammer players as well. It was not uncommon for the war gamers and The Party to start arguing. Which was always a sight to behold. 90 percent of the time I didn’t intervene hoping one of The Party might get their teeth knocked out. It never got to that point. Despite all the wishing in my heart.
Still I tolerated them for the most part. They bought plenty of snacks. Overpriced soda cans and over priced chips are good money in this line of business. Cleaning up after them was a pain. Cheeto smeared tables and chairs are not fun to clean. I remember once asking them to clean up after themselves. They just stared at me with blank dead fish eyes before talking about the hot dog man. The hotdog man being some sort of inside joke. They found it hilarious. It was some recurring npc in their campaigns that did “wacky” hijinks or something. They tried to explain it to anyone who would listen. Anytime someone else would laugh at their stupid joke I wanted to just close up shop.
Then I started fucking with them. I’d shake up cans of soda they bought. I’d “accidentally” bump into their table while moving inventory. This would cause their set up and dice to spill all over. I’d sell them microwaved dice sets “at a discount” and laugh with joy as they consistently rolled nat 1’s. I actually had quite a bit of fun coming up with new ways to inconvenience them. Damaging their favorite table, replacing the chairs at that table with uneven ones. One time I spilled a cup of hot chocolate on the one dressed like frank sinatra.
They eventually started blaming their new streak of misfortune on the hotdog man. That fucking stupid inside joke about the hotdog man had grown to encompass their real life misfortune. These beardy fucks had completely disassociated from reality apparently. It wasn’t long after this began in the shop that it spread. Any little thing that went wrong in the shop others started blaming on the hot dog man! Bad game of yugioh…hot dog man. Shit your pants? HOT DOG MAN! Dog got hit by a car! HOT DOG MAN! It permeated and spread because these little beards never shut up about their stupid inside joke.
I could not tolerate it any longer. As a game shop owner I am the god of these halls and I would not take this beardery. NAY! I didn’t clean my grandads colostomy bag for 8 years to have my castle ruined by the fucking HOT DOG MAN! No these nerds hard to go. I had to hatch a scheme to get them out of the shop.
It was actually relatively easy to come up with a scheme. I knew the fat leg beard was dating the tall “well dressed” kid. But, I also knew she was a bit of a cheater. They had many arguments about her cheating on him. Why such a beast would be able to get so many men interested in her I have no idea. But i knew she had her eyes on one of the seedier warhammer players in the store. He wasn’t a good guy, actually a bit of an alcoholic who hung around because this was all he had left. So I struck a deal, I offered him a hefty amount of figurines for his army in return for “seducing” the land whale. A task he was actually excited about.
Over the next couple weeks I watched as the alcoholic man inserted himself into The Party. I watched as he got closer to the girl, I saw the “well dressed” beard grow more and more insecure. Going outside in a huff more often. The leg beard and her boyfriend arguing loudly in front of the store a few times.Then on the third week during an open play night only the land whale leg beard appeared, crying as she clung to the alcoholic war gamer and complained about her boyfriend. The crying was only slightly less annoying than hearing about the hotdog man. I tried to tune it out by doing some stocking of new inventory for the upcoming yugioh release. I eventually noticed a distinct lack of belly aching. I looked over to the side room, and saw that the alcoholic and legbeard were actively making out on a table. Disgusted I made sure the cameras were recording in the side room.
The world was at peace again. The Party would soon be destroyed thanks to some well deployed miniatures in the right desperate losers hands. Simple as can be. Soon my store would be free of the hot dog man plague. This is why you should never mess with a wealthy man we are wealthy because we are wise. My store is one of the best in this town and it is because of my wisdom. No one else can compete with me because I am too good to be doing this.
As I stocked the cabinet with new singles I had recently bought from someone clearly desperate for drug money I found myself very pleased with myself. I sang as I organized my new acquisitions. Then sneaking a peak at the camera I noticed a distinct absence of the obese legbeard and the war gaming alcoholic. I tried to locate them by walking back there, only to hear the sounds of unholy degenerate acts in the bathroom. I found myself amazed by their lack of shame and more so how easy the land whale was. I guess it’s true what they say “fat chicks will do anything”. I contemplated breaking it up. Then I thought it might be really funny if she got pregnant and the frank sinatra wannabe had to raise a cuck baby. So I allowed it to continue. They left together sometime later.
I went ahead and did a little facebook stalking, as frank sinatra and the land whale were both on on my stores facebook page. Two days later they were broken up and the land whale was dating and apparently living with the alcoholic wargamer. Now I still have to deal with her, but the rest of The Party is distinctly absent.
I posted the video from the security cameras on the facebook page on valentines day that year and tagged the frank sinatra wannabe, deleting it after he left some angry comment under it. Just one more jab at his stupid broken heart. That’s what he deserves for being a cringe neckbeard with his stupid inside jokes.
Now the legbeard and alcoholic play wargames on open play nights at the shop and she’s much quieter. The legacy of the hotdog man died shortly after. I do now have to occasionally observe as the land whale and alcoholic wargamer swap spit on a table. I’ve had to make a sign for the bathroom door that say “please do not fuck in here” and when that didn’t work yell at the both of them. Saying something along the lines of “THIS IS NOT A MOTEL!” but even with that inconvenience, it is still preferable to those beards and their stupid inside joke. I will take cringe bathroom sex over the hot dog man any day.
I am just happy that I met my wife in Mexico. If you have money and a passport, get yourself a Mexican wife. They are much less insane than your average american woman. Also they are very grateful to be here. So that pays dividends in the end. Plus you have someone who can talk to the repair men in their native language around here. Wish I would have known she was infertile beforehand. On the brightside though no condoms. So its not all bad. There are no any beards in Mexico my friends.
If you read this ReddX thanks I’ve been a big fan of the channel for a long time and have wanted to write a story. I just haven’t had the time as I am a very busy and important man. But I can tell we’re like kindred souls. You’re gonna love reading all my installments because were bouth great men of substance and the world. It is time I aired out all these beards. So you’re welcome for contributing to your collection of stories. I truly am a generous king.
Your Best Friend
KingRodGod

The episode resumed on a shot of Zee and Jo, their skin tones back to normal, running up to a smiling Chris. "Welcome back," he told the camera. "Zee and helper Jo are the first to arrive here, at the world's largest mud puddle!" The camera pulled back, revealing that the trio was standing near the edge of a large lake of burbling mud, a measuring stick rising out of it at the nearest edge.
"It's eight feet deep," Chris explained over a close-up of the measuring stick showing the mud reaching up very nearly to the 8' mark, "and 200 yards across. And," the camera quick-panned to the far right side of the 'puddle', "since it's too thick to swim through," the shot cut back to the couple and Chris, "the only way to the other side is with one of you piggybacking the other."
"Umm...," Zee said hesitantly, sharing a wary look with Jo, "doesn't that mean the person on the bottom..."
"Will drown?" Chris finished. "Yes."
"What?!" Jo said in wide-eyed shock.
"Unless they use this garden hose!" Chris added, a light chime playing as he held up a length of green hose.
Zee let out a breath. "Okay then. Guess I'm on the bottom, then."
Jo's eyes widened a bit in a brief bit of surprise, and she looked at her partner. "I should be objecting to this since I'm supposed to be the helper, but hey. No heavy lifting from me."
"Yeah…" Zee agreed half heartedly.
Confessional: Zee
"I was able to hold Jo onto my back while we were skiing," Zee told the confessional. "I can still do the same while under mud."
Confessional Ends
"I know that I said you were weak in the past," Jo said, "but that was until I saw that you were able to make it this far in the game."
"You thought wrong about me," Zee replied. "I wasn’t active at first in challenges and finding food, but with Julia eliminated, I was able to grow and become a finalist."
Chris suddenly stepped between the two. "How touching. Now start the challenge."
The scene cut to Zee and Jo jumping into the mud, the former disappearing below its depths while the latter, on his shoulders, held up the length of the hose. They started moving forward, and the camera panned back to the left to show Harold, Scarlett, and Chris holding up another length of hose.
"Yeah, I'll be on top," Harold stated.
"Pardon me?" Scarlett countered, raising an eyebrow.
"I don't trust you not to let me drown," Harold told her. "Self-preservation comes first."
Scarlett groaned. "That's fair," she said, taking the hose from Chris, "but if you let me suffocate, I'm dragging you down into the mud with me."
"Crustal," Harold deadpanned, and as Scarlett crouched down, she jumped onto the brainiac's shoulders. Scarlett stood back up and put the end of the hose in her mouth, and she jumped into the mud.
The tense music faded away as the camera moved onto Chris, the host sighing as Chef walked up. "You think the mud was a bad idea?" Chris asked. "It's a little quiet… oh yeah," Chris said as if in sudden realization, "almost forgot about the Peanut Gallery. Bring 'em back in!" he said into a walkie talkie he only then pulled out.
Moments later, the wind kicked up around them, and the camera zoomed out to show the large helicopter flying in with the former contestants still hanging – and screaming as they swayed ominously – below it. "Would you let us down already?!" Leshawna shouted angrily. "It's freezin' up here!"
"Yeah, I want to cheer for Zee!" Julia chimed in.
"If I wasn't tied up right now, I'd have half a mind to pound you!" Duncan shouted at the host.
The camera focused on DJ. "Hey, Chris?" he looked forward and asked loudly. "Just bring us down before anybody else gets miffed at you!"
"No, and I don't care," Chris answered with a calm smile, until Chef whispered to him. A flat note played over a close-up of Chris staring blankly at him. "Huh...good point," he admitted. "Ooh!" he said with a sudden grin. "I just had an idea!"
A flash took the scene to Zee and Jo, the tense challenge music resuming at a low volume and slow pace in the background. They were still slogging through the mud, Zee out of sight but Jo only submerged up to her stomach. She looked back over her shoulder, smiled, then said "Keep going!" into the piece of hose she was holding. "They're way far behind!"
Confessional: Zee
"So as it turns out," Zee said, "being submerged in the mud is kinda like being trapped in the dark. But there aren't any animals below to scare me."
Confessional Ends
The music ramped up as Jo suddenly stopped moving, then seemed to turn around and start moving back towards the start. "Uh, Fruit Loop?" she asked into the hose. "We're going the wrong way!"
The camera cut to Harold, looking somewhat bored as he held the hose atop Scarlett's shoulders, before noticing the other team and frowning. "Why are they coming this way?"
"Ugh! They're too safe to sabotage each other!" came the sudden voice of Chris McLean, the camera cutting to him standing in the show's jeep with Chef at the wheel, speaking into the microphone of the jeep's loudspeaker. "Deploy the 2.0 model!"
The shot cut back to Harold and Jo as they looked around with strange expressions, the sound of something like a rocket taking off coming from somewhere in the distance. They looked up and to the left, and the camera shifted to their viewpoint to show a large object shooting up through the sky overhead...
...then abruptly diving towards them, revealing itself as a red-eyed robotic bear with small jet engines coming out of its back. Harold and Jo screamed as their respective partners continued in their previous directions, getting out of the way as the Bear landed in the mud. It hit with enough force to cause a wave of mud, which shot all the way across the puddle carrying the finalists and their helpers along for the ride. All four immediately began to cough upon landing in a muddy heap.
Confessional: Harold
"At least I have a better shot," Harold said. "We're tied right now, but who knows what other tricks Chris has up his sleeves."
Confessional Ends
A close-up of the nozzle of a fire hose in Chef's hands preceded him blasting the muddy finalists and helpers with water, all four screaming where they'd landed on the shore of the 'puddle'. Moments later, the water was shut off, leaving them drenched but clean.
"We're all tied up," Chris announced with a smile. "Perfect time for a little break. First, let's bring in the Peanut Gallery again." He took out his remote and pointed it at a patch of ground nearby, a hole opening up in it and a rather shoddy-looking set of stadium seats shooting up out of it with the ten former contestants seated – and still tied-up – in it.
"Sha-finally," Lightning said, the shot cutting to him sitting in the top row with B, DJ, Duncan, and Max and Leshawna, Ella, Julia, Sammy, and Amy in the bottom row. "Are we gonna get to watch the rest of the challenge now?"
"Yup!" Chris answered with a happy smile, pressing the button on his remote again so that a large widescreen television emerged from another hole in the ground near him and the finalists.
"Will you untie us too?" Ella chimed in.
Chris huffed. "Whine, whine, whine," he said in annoyance. "Don't I do enough for you kids as it is?"
"No," all fourteen of the season's cast members replied at the same time.
A flat note played over a close-up of the host pursing his lips. "Yeah, I owe Chef twenty bucks about that," Chris said, the camera zooming back out again to show the finalists and helpers. "Everyone, grab a seat," he instructed, and the four reluctantly sat down on the logs lying behind them. "I'm gonna show you some of my favorite clips from the show..." He pointed his remote at the TV, and the shot focused in as it switched on and started to play footage of a confessional...
"Dunderhead was already pretty useless," Jo complained. "But now he's making moves on one of the actually decent players on the team? Not on my watch!"
The camera cut in close to show Jo pausing and looking back. "Something on your mind, Anti-Squeakerbox?" she asked, the camera shifting to show B peering at her and shaking his head.
“It's not what you think it is," Jo told him. "As long as they are on this team, Julia and Zee will not date."
“Not exactly how I wanted the elimination to play, but hey. Julia’s gone and with Zee still in the game, I could manipulate him into doing whatever I say,” Jo grinned.
The footage paused, and Chris leaned out in front of the television with a wide and mischievous grin. "Seems like there isn't a shipper on deck…" he said impishly.
"So you were trying to keep me and Julia apart?" Zee said as the camera moved to him and Jo, his eyes wide with shock. "Does this mean that...,"
"Yup. I convinced Julia to quit," Jo replied. "I didn't expect her to fully go through with it since I was gonna vote you out!"
"I can't believe you'd try and do that!" Zee said with a glare!"
"If I didn't do what I did, then you two likely would've blown challenges for us like the dueling one!" Jo argued back.
The camera focused on Julia in the Peanut Gallery. "I was trying to defend my boyfriend, but sure," she said dryly.
"I'm just worried what Chris is gonna show from Scarlett," Sammy said. "It looks like he wants to mess up the finalists and their helpers..."
"Maybe he won't show anything?" Amy suggested. "I mean, it's not like Scarlett and Harold were that close to begin with."
The shot cut back to a smiling Chris. "Oh, don't worry, I have no intention of leaving those guys out of all this fun," he said happily.
"I don't see how," Scarlett said. "Harold already knows everything about me now. I’m practically an open book."
Chris laughed. "Seems you forgot that the cameras are always on. So here's some more juicy information that everybody gets to hear." The screen on the TV went from static to a scene from the fifth episode.
Scarlett herself grabbed the dueling stick Ella retrieved, fished an electric eel out of the water, and tossed it to Max. "Max!" she cried, and her teammates looked at her in confusion, prompting her to pretend that she had coughed. "Pardon me!"
“The plan was for Max to be the only one not in the trap, so the team would know he built it and vote him off!” Scarlett confessed.
"I overheard Leshawna and Harold's conversation when they were foraging together, and Leshawna being on to me is something that I refuse to let happen," Scarlett claimed. “Zee's really gullible enough to deceive, and I'll try to talk to Ella.”
A deep, dramatic note was struck over a shot of Harold in shock. "So it was you who got Leshawna eliminated!" he scowled in Scarlett's direction.
"I wasn't ready to come out just yet, and between the two of you, you were less likely to warn anyone about me!" Scarlett retorted.
"So all this time, Scarlett was aiming to usurp her master!" Max ranted.
"I don't blame her," Leshawna commented. “As much of a pain as she is, I would've done the same thing and sent your annoying behind home.”
"Okay," Chris said happily as the shot moved onto him, "I'm sensing some major hostility and I'm liking it. I'm out of popcorn, though, so we should probably get back to the challenge."
"Seriously?!" the finalists and helpers alike exclaimed.
"Obviously, the helpers aren't gonna be very helpful anymore," Chris replied. "So, instead of helpers, Jo and Scarlett will now be hinderers." As he spoke, Chef walked back into view with a pair of video game controllers, tossing one each to Scarlett and Jo. "The island is now back online," Chris continued, "and, with these controllers, they will be able to throw up obstacles to throw you down, or, completely crush you."
The shot cut to Scarlett as she looked at her controller and smirked. "Good to know."
"Looking forward to it," Jo said in determination.
Harold and Zee gulped, and Chris laughed. "That was the good part," he said. "Let me tell you the bad part. You have ten minutes to finish this challenge," he told Zee and Harold. "If neither of you do, Scarlett and Jo get to split the money."
"Dude, what?" Zee said in shock.
"You can't do that!" Harold protested.
"I can! I will! I am! GO!" Chris announced, blowing his airhorn right in Chef's face, earning an annoyed sigh from the man. Harold and Zee immediately ran off, but the camera cut to a close-up of a thoughtful Jo.
"Well...I want the money, but I'm not really comfortable with how this is set up," Jo said to herself. "But...I guess it wouldn't be too bad if I just made this a little more challenging for them..."
"Do what you want," Scarlett said, the camera panning over to show her grinning darkly with her controller in hand. "I'm getting my justice."
Confessional: Jo
“And I thought I was an underhanded person,” Jo mentioned to herself. “Velma has less morals than me and Gnome Master.”
Confessional: Scarlett
"I was snubbed in the last episode," Scarlett confessed. "And now that I've been given permission, I can stop the finalists from winning without getting electrocuted!" She pulled out the remote from the seventh episode. "I don't even need this device. I have a controller to do the job for it."
Confessionals End
A few quick drum taps opened up a deep and dangerous challenge theme, the scene returning to Zee and Harold sprinting across the open field only to gape in shock as the pine trees in the background starting launching like rockets.
"What the heck?" Harold said. "Rocket trees?"
One landed right behind them, forcing both finalists to roll forward out of the way. "This island is wild!" Zee cried as the two continued running, more and more trees landing behind them like massive spears.
The two were shown together in a brief close-up, raising their eyebrows in surprise. A quick-pan ahead revealed the landscape changing, trees and rock formations rising up out of the artificial ground to form a large, dense barrier.
Harold jumped ahead of Zee as they climbed over the first big rock formation.
Zee vaulted downward and dashing forward along a lower 'path' among the rocks. Just as he was about to jump down onto grass, however, a boulder shot upward – and he landed on it groin-first. A close-up showed him letting out a high-pitched squeal of pain.
Harold's wince drew the camera's attention back upward to show him leaping from a boulder and grabbing onto the branch of a tree, only for the tree to suddenly shoot back down into the ground – causing him to yell as it dragged him down and slammed him back-first onto a fallen log.
Zee gave him a quick concerned glance as he jumped onto the same log, then upwards onto a rock formation before climbing onward and to the right and out of sight.
The scene cut back to the hinderers, both still working their controllers with Scarlett still looking considerably happier about it. "No need to change what works," Jo said uncertainty.
"What happened to that cutthroat attitude you've been displaying?" Scarlett asked. "Don't throw it away when I can get something out of it. And lower some of those trees. They're giving them too much cover from this storm I'm whipping up."
The camera panned onto the monitor to show Zee and Harold struggling against a powerful wind as they walked through what looked like a dense forest as leaves, dust, branches, and various small woodland animals blew past them.
A focus on the monitor's screen transitioned the scene back to the challenge. "I think...I can see the finish line in the distance," Zee said, pausing for a moment as he struggled against the intense gale.
"They're not making this easy on us," Harold commented.
The pair briefly passed behind a thick and mossy pine tree, the camera zooming in slightly as they reappeared. "Would you?" Zee asked.
"...I guess not," Harold answered after a moment.
The shot cut back to the Peanut Gallery to show them watching with worry and anticipation. "C'mon, Harold," Leshawna spoke. "Just hang in there."
"I know you can win this, Zee," Julia said. "You deserve it after everything."
Then the camera cut back to the hinderers, Chris standing next to their monitor with his hands behind his back and a smile on his face. "Ooh! They're getting close!" he said excitedly, prompting Scarlett to scowl and Jo to frown.
Once more the scene moved back to the finalists, their arms raised to buffer themselves against the winds – snow beginning to fall and lightning beginning to crack in the background - with Harold in the lead. "Two minutes left!" Chris called out over the island's loudspeaker. "Two minutes!"
"I...," Harold said with glee. "I think I can make it!"
"Not if I can help it!" Zee shouted, speeding up as the dense trees around him and Harold began to recede into the ground – and the tense and dangerous challenge music resumed. "If I win, me and Julia can go out and change the world together."
"I have to win this," Harold told him. "I've been undervalued and looked down on by my peers, friends, and even my family. I need to prove my might."
The snowy ground below their feet began to crack. A hollow sound played, then all at once, the ground shot up under them, earning startled yells from both. The shot soon cut to the new peak they were standing on rising up into the sky, then stopping.
"Drats..." Zee muttered, both finalists looking down with wide eyes. his final word echoed as the camera zoomed out, revealing the snowy mountain they were now at the top of.
The Peanut Gallery was shown gasping, as were Jo, though Scarlett was smiling as their misfortune. "Twenty seconds left...!" Chris said as the camera moved on to him looking at his watch.
The shot cut back to Harold. "I guess it's over," he sighed. “Scarlett wins after all.”
Zee noticed a bulge in the snow beside him. The boy shoved his hand into it and pulled out the phone Duncan stole from Chris. "I don't know how this got here, but we have to get down. Start stomping the ground."
Harold nodded and stomped on the ground at his feet, and after a few cracks, Zee hurled the phone down, breaking the device apart. Their eyes widened as the mountain began to crumble under them, and the ground imploded in on itself.
"Six! Five!" Chris began to count off, the music cutting out save for a single plodding note to highlight each number. "Four!" The camera panned onto the television, showing both finalists tumbling through the snow and rock. "Three! Two! One!" The shot cut to the finish banner, then zoomed out to show the avalanche stopping just under it – with neither finalist in sight. "GAME OVER!" he announced, blowing on his airhorn as a subdued but triumphant riff played.
Jo stood up in surprise, and Scarlett started cheering.
"My mission was a success!" Scarlett said in victory. “Now hand over my well-deserved prize!”
"Congratulations Jo and Scarlett," Chris said with his usual smile. "Revenge is sweetest-" he glanced at the monitor- "ohhhhh, what have we here?" he said with a sudden look of shock, the music cutting out as he pointed at the television screen.
A sharp note played as a familiar hand stuck out of the snow lying just past the finish line and waved. Scarlett's jaw dropped in shock, and Jo let out a sigh of relief.
The scene cut to the finish line, the camera pulling back a little ways as Chef walked up with a stretcher, dressed as a female nurse. Leshawna ran onscreen and pushed him out of the way. Chef flew off frame with a shout, and Leshawna grabbed the arm and pulled, freeing a shocked and snowy Harold from the aftermath of the avalanche. "Oh," he groaned, looking around as Leshawna dropped him on the stretcher, "what happened?" he asked as the victorious music began to play again with much more enthusiasm.
"You won, Ginger Baby!" Leshawna answered with a smile, the camera pulling out even more to show Harold looking back at the finish banner.
"I did it!" Harold said excitedly. "Harold Norbert Cheever Doris McGrady V has claimed victory! Boo yah!" he raised his arms and cheered, the shot cutting away to show all of the Peanut Gallery cheering.
“We weren't able to talk to each other as much, and it's clear we like each other as more than just friends, but how about we hang out a little bit back home and see where things go?” Leshawna suggested.
“As long as we don't rush into a committed relationship, I'd like that,” Harold smiled back.
The camera panned to the left to show Julia frantically pulling a dazed and half-conscious Zee from the rest of the avalanche, and picking him up onto her back.
"Julia," Zee said weakly, "I'm sorry that I-"
"Be quiet," Julia said with a weak smile as she carried her boyfriend over to the stretcher and set him down next to Harold. "You need to rest."
"But-" Zee tried to say.
He was cut off by Julia grabbing his head and kissing him full on the lips. "You didn’t win the money, but we can still provide for the world in our own ways, and with the power of love," she said with a smile as she broke the kiss, leaving Zee looking dopey.
The capstone theme began to play as the footage skipped ahead to a shot of the open sky, the double-rotored helicopter soon flying up into view. "That's it for this very, very off season," Chris began, standing in the open doorway with Zee and Julia sitting on the edge letting their legs dangle freely with Julia leaning into Zee; Harold and Scarlett standing on either side of Chris, the latter annoyed and the former grinning while holding the suitcase full of money to his chest; and the rest of the cast, crouching down and peering over in the gaps between and behind the rest, constantly jockeying for position as they tried to get one last shot of themselves on camera.
"This is Chris McLean, saying if you can't stand the pain-" the handsome host continued, the shot cutting in closer- "stay off the Total! Drama! Paaaahkitew Island!"
"RE-VENGE!" Max suddenly yelled from behind Scarlett, shoving her out of the helicopter, and the brainiac screamed as she fell.
The camera lingered on the dumbfounded looks of Chris and the other ex-campers, all of them staring at Max in shock. "This is how a traitor should be rewarded," he said, crossing his arms and closing his eyes defiantly.
The ex-campers and host burst out laughing, and a fun and energetic tune started to play. The camera panned over to the windshield to show Chef laughing along with the rest of the cast from the pilot's seat, and the helicopter flew away.
The music soon faded away, though, and the scene quick-panned down to show a screaming Scarlett landing in the giant mud puddle. She quickly surfaced with a shocked splutter, and pulled herself out onto dry land. "How am I going to get home now because of those imbeciles?!"
A few ominous notes were struck, and a ferocious growl caught Scarlett's attention. She looked up, and the camera zoomed out to show Scuba Bear 2.0 standing over her, eyes red. "Heheh," the brainiac laughed nervously. "You're not going to hurt me are you?"
The scene abruptly cut outward to the full long-distance shot of the island, the ominous music ending as Scarlett's scream and Scuba Bear's snarl echoed across the lake.
(Roll the Credits)
Lightning - 14th
DJ - 13th
Amy - 12th
B - 11th
Julia - 10th
Max - 9th
Leshawna - 8th
MERGE
Jo - 7th
Duncan - 6th
Ella - 5th
Sammy - 4th
Scarlett - 3rd
Zee - 2nd
Harold - 1st

I am, I would say, a pretty anxious person, so I often overanalize behaviours of people around me and believe they are madly angry at me. Exibit A, disproven: My sister's boyfriend. My sister's boyfriend, SB for short, Is actually a very great guy she has been with for nearly 6 years, with my sister he was one of the first to use correct name and pronouns. We were able to relate on intetests and the fact that we are both picky eaters, him more than me tho. We went to several larps together along with my sister and dnd campaign aswell, lately he has been inviting me to dinner with them when going places I like and also said that once they can move in their house they could let me stay a few days when I want. There are a lot of things pointing towards SB liking me and us being actually good buddies, but I don't know, I can never interpret his tone, sometimes I fear I'm an annoying third weel and am afraid he hates me cause my sister had to waste part of her eatly twenties to raise me. This was disproven as my sister told me he actually likes having me around.
Exibit B, still stressing me out I have this friend, let's call him... Crow? Crow Is a great guy, very nice, he hosts most of our DnD campaigns at his house and I love going there cause I get to drink beer at 10 AM while roleplaying as a redneck kid who Is in love with his car and the niece of a mafia lord. Crow and I actually play two campaigns together, one in the morning, where he Is a player, and one in the evening, where he Is the DM. He has a tendency to make all asshole characters tho, which sometimes Is frustrating but he's never invasive or stuff, like, he doesn't cross boundaries ever. So l already half am afraid he doesn't like me cause I get all tense up and like a log when hugging, so he doesn't hug me, and I am afraid physical contact Is like important and I am messing things up? Last session his character ended up pointing a gun at mine, but didn't shoot at him and in fact gave him the gun back after basically letting his GF know he had brought them at her house to keep them safe and sound from the big bad mafia, they didn't trust him cause he refused to say where he was bringing them to keep his GF privacy. My character was frustrated, being denied his much needed adult approval after having helped the group numerous time, having been super loyal even not knowing them and well, after they set fire to his truck, which was the first thing he got after his parents died and his house and most important thing in his life. So I did what my character would have done and I shot him, not fatally, but I did. I waited with him but when the rest of the crew opened fire on my character I got in the car and speed off, only to be found by my gf and brought to the big bad mafia guy to be punished and stuff. We all kinda insult eachother on a regolar basis so I really couldn't understand if when he complained about this putting them in great danger he was serious or not, but he then said It was a good play. I jokingly complained that they didn't trust me, even tho I had basically allowed them to achieve their goal, but another character which is of similar age and only difference is being a girl they trusted even after keeping like every single secret and refused to say any even when it put the party in danger. I thing it's a bit hypocritical but I can't understand if it's of the characters, and it's wanted, or of the player. Anyways, I can't understand if crow Is mad at me for shooting at his character or if he was just down cause the session of the evening was cancelled that day, he didn't act any different and we spoke pretty normal I brought him a beer cause I thought if would cheer him up but It overflowd and made a mess and he said It was ok but I felt so guilty. I really want us to get along well cause I like him quite a lot and I look forward to every session we do together and we're supposed to go to a larp together in june.

Please Help Us
Me and my sister don't know what to do about our mom .
Backstory: My mom and dad have been married for 50 years. I'm 25 my sister is 35 we all live under the same roof. During pandemic COVID my mom lost her Mom (aka my grandma). She lost her brother due to liver failure. , lost our grand aunt and also our grand uncle all in the span of 2020-2021. ... Everything was ok my mom was grieving and seemed more torn over the loss of her brother. My mom's a social worker and has a high stress job .
Now 2024. She had reconnected with an old friend after finding out she had breast cancer , (let's call her Lena) who is from back in our country of origin . That old friend used to have a similar family like us. Lena was married , and had 2 sons and 1 daughter who grew up with me and my sister, Lena's Husband at the time worked with my dad at university.Lena divorced her husband after finding out he was dating his student. Lena for single for a while after divorce , and now she has a boyfriend and she is living her life so happily and tells my mom all the details. Especially being happy and a new chapter. Lenas husband was a horrible man and was mean , and horrible to his kids at times. He was a player.
My family moved to this country I'm 2010 .my parents left their friends and family behind for us to be here. My parents are lonely here tbh , they don't have a social circle here , just like a handful of people but not a circle at all. They are bored, work , home , gym, groceries. That's life been for them lately
My dad majority of my childhood for decades was an alcoholic. At home He used to drink everyday and gets drunk on weekends. To the point where in 2023 my mom told my dad if he doesn't stop she and Us (children) are going to leave him because we tried everything for him to stop. My dad has been sober for the last 10 months. He's a bit depressed and is quieter but he's doing much better imo since he quit . Apart from the drinking he is the best dad I could ask for . I'm happy he has stopped.i hope he gets out of his funk.
A few weeks ago of April 2024. my mom got tragic news that her sister who has been sick for a while died of a heart attack at home. It was very hard for my parents to hear this news. The following weekend she started telling my sister strange things, while I was away. She said she's not surprised our ex aunt cheated on her brother , she said shes burnt out from her job , she said she wants to go away for a short while to have time to herself. Saying she wants to go hotel and stay in separate rooms from my sister ( my sis was like ???) she told her that she feels stuck .Whatever it is. She's lonely. She wants to go out. She wants to 'meet new people'. It's all just nuts. Like I get it. Fine u can. But like you're hanging at the gym for hours everyday. Talking to our friends and seeking out for attention. She said alot of stuff to my sister while I was away and she panicked
Me and my sister pulled her aside a week ago and said what the hell are you doing. You dumped all this info on my sister , You're being inappropriate with our friends saying stuff like ( people's preferences for older even if they're younger doesn't matter even if they approach you) she mentioned this to one of my friends....So we confronted her and she said . Look me and your father haven't been happy for a while since the last 8 years. She said her and my dad talked about it in 2020 and wait and see....So we said okay that's fine but are you doing stuff behind him because that's not ok. She said before it even gets there she will definitely talk about it with my dad. So then we're like.....ok if you say you're okay we will not mind . We told her if she needs to go on a vacation or time off ( cuz my parents never go anywhere ) all they do is just see family ones in a while overseas. Never an actual vacatjon. So we said , hey u should try doing things together with dad. Go places, do things. She's like he never wants to . We said it's not easy since he stopped drinking so try at least with him before anything else..... We told her to talk to a therapist , she said she's talking to one of her coworkers who is one. We had our sisters birthday and she came to the club with me and our friends (first time she evercame to the club with us) it was odd but like she had fun?.
My mom also said (hey I don't wanna end up like my sister because she was in a bad marriage and loved somebody else ) and Lena was happy and had a boyfriend. Me and my sister said , dad isn't even that bad compared to these others she tried to use his drinking as an excuse. But we're like he STOPPED.
In 2023 While they went to Europe to see my cousin my mom was telling some guy hit on her while she was waiting for bus. And he asked my mom to go out for coffee. And she said yes sure but it was raining. And then he was talking to my mom . And my dad answered a question he asked. And the guy said "I'm talking to the lady" or something. And my mom just let it happen. And my dad didn't say anything. I'm like okkk????
She's been painting her nails. Doing her hair , spending hours at the gym just talking to people , my friends etc. it's just so weird. Until the point now my dad doesn't go anymore cuz she spends time there so much and just talks to others. She latches on to some of my new friends. .
Today she went to the gym at 1 o clock. It's literally 6 o clock she's not even back. What the hell do me and my sister do. It's causing me and my sister so much anxiety
It's definitely grief + mid life crisis + boring Rut marriage
What do we do .