Almost 10 years of friendship and i was deeply in love w her. Im 24m. I had to get over it and was successful. Took a few years to process it. She was my first love, its a very deeply woven friendship and bond and i found it excrutiating to take apart and audit. really didnt want to do that. But im scared she will realize that we would have been a great couple at some point because i honestly dont know how you couldnt catch feelings at least once in a friendship like ours.
We have these extremely satisfying conversations about our deepest selves. Weve both had really hard and traumatizing lives so these conversations can get super personal and emotionally vulnerable but theyre never ever hard to have with her. Our friendship is one where we talk about things that are so close to our hearts we would be baring our souls to talk about, too much for other people, but we love it. Its envigorating and sincerely interesting because we love each other. somehow it seems like we make each other laugh the whole way thru. How could that not be it? How could that not be the person i want to spend my life with, right?
I had to disillusion myself. It was agony to take the pieces of our friendship and love apart to audit. I fucking hated it. Felt like death. The colour drained out of the world. But i resigned myself. I cant change that she doesnt want me and i dont fucking want this. i want to live my goddamn life. I want a wife. I want kids. I want fulfillment. I want to be able to imagine ANYONE ELSE in her place in my head. But its been her for ages. I just grew used to the idea at some point i guess, once i realized she was the only person it wouldnt bother me to marry and id actually really have liked to be with her. You might think im jumping the gun sayign that and that is understandable, the idea came from a hypothetical question (just like the one im in now) wondering if i knew anyone i would like to marry just for the hell of it. And then i realized, thought nothing of it like an idiot, and a few yeaes later THAT was when it hit me that i loved her. What if she has a similar delay?
Everything is still too easy with her. I wonder and am scared that she will someday see what i have and itll be too fucking late. And it makes me fucking pissed. Angry to tears. I hate being pulled around. I hate being this guy. I wanted so badly for it to be different and i never once wanted to learn how to love this version of how my life would go once the hope died. But i did it anyway, so i wouldnt rot, and for the sake of the friendships and health i have. I realized that it was equally important to me that she just be happy and loved even if i wasnt the guy she ended up with. I admitted to myself that my perspective on it doesnt mean shit about the way she feels. Her dating me is not even slightly important if she can be happy on her own path and i would never interfere.
But god damn it. I would have been such a good man to her. She would have been so fucking loved. You should see the way we are and how much joy i get from showing up for her. I have so much devotion to give and no one and nowhere to give it to. It was RIGHT THERE! What if what if what if. Ugh. Fucking end me man.
Guys what am i supposed to do at this point. What direction should i be going in with myself to be happy and accept reality. I just cant do it on my own.

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The cave was dark, its luminescent crystals having long since faded, the shattered shards sprinkling onto the stone floors as inert fragments. Once intricate brickwork was now rubble and crumbled debris, their murals and etchings now lost to deterioration. Countless tunnels and subterranean floors had filled in over time, reducing the monument of his efforts to but a solitary room nested within an unremarkable hole in the hillside, far beyond the township he called home. Or so he assumed, anyway. There was no way of knowing where he was, nor if said home even existed anymore, though he was doubtful it did. It had been far too long since he entered this promise-turned-prison, and he had no more heart to ache.
An ashen glow of sunlight penetrated the pitiful, dreary depths he was once prideful of. The luminance fought against the haze of dust and miasma, but never quite brought its warmth inside, teasing him. He’d forgotten what it felt like to stand in that brightness. To experience the gentle breeze and soft rustle of leaves. Admittedly, the touch of nature’s blessing was one he never often experienced, making for those sparse moments of sunkissed relaxation to be amongst the first memories to dissipate. There were things he still recalled, of course—the days before a single well-intentioned decision changed everything.
The days before he knew only regret.
Altier could still picture the modest farmland that his brothers and father worked on, and how he watched from behind the moss-laden shutters of his room, a frail smile worn on his emaciated face. His two siblings were well and hearty; they quickly grew up to be strong men, becoming apprentices under the village’s herbalist and leatherworker respectively. One would always help their father tend to the crops while the other was off gaining the experience required to take over the storefronts of their eventual occupation.
Their father would regularly be seen wiping the sweat off his brow and wearing a proud grin whenever his young men came back to ramble about what they learned, even if the elder man never understood much of it. That hardly mattered to him; knowing his boys were happy was enough for him to listen with rapt attention, and he repeated their words to his spouse, pretending to know why what he talked about was impressive. The matron of the family always winked Altier’s way when his father would start his usual boasting, letting her adorable fool of a partner take pride in their children for wrapping their heads around whatever he couldn’t. She loved him anyway, calling him playful names with a serene and adoring smile. The sound of her laughter at her husband’s antics could warm even the coldest of winters.
She cared for Altier when she wasn’t busy tidying the home his father built with his own two hands, the structure degrading over time, yet cared for all the same. She would heat the iron stove they had saved up for, her enchanting singing softly reaching those who listened. His father purchased it from a promising blacksmith just to spare his poor wife the trouble of maintaining a fireplace; it cost them years of being frugal, but the delight she showed at no longer needing to bear the direct heat when preparing meals made it worth every coin.
Altier still blamed himself for wasting her time with his needs, but his main regret was the toll his birth took on the angel of a woman. Her constitution wasn’t the best even before his addition, and although she was far from crippled by it, the thin woman couldn’t quite hide the struggles it caused. She never explicitly said why she was so weak, but he assumed she didn’t want him to shoulder the blame for something she decided herself. He pretended not to.
Unfortunately, such a frailty was carried on to their youngest son, yet done so in the worst of fashions. Ever since Altier was but a babe, he struggled with even the simplest of tasks, his body brittle and his lungs temperamental. A gaunt, bedridden figure showed his pale flesh clinging to nigh useless musculature, with sunken cheeks and eyes shadowed by omnipresent illness. The doctors that visited their village only did so twice a year, and being seen by them cost a proportional sum. Yet his parents wasted their coin every fall and spring, hopeful that their child would be cured. They told him that it was subsidized by the crown when he asked how they could afford it, assuring him that it wasn’t making his family financially suffer. He kept quiet and smiled, hiding the fact that he could see the effects of their dwindling coffers.
The answer never changed. ‘Mana deficiency,’ the learned man had called it, recommending that the corpse of a boy channel energy from rare stones to ease his ailment. The doctor even offered to procure an appropriately attuned gem himself, which Altier’s parents latched onto, evaporating their meagre savings and relegating the hopes of hiring help for the fields to being but a dream. The first element, Nature, was what most people held some affinity for, and even if his alignment was dismal, a concentrated stone would curb the worst of his symptoms.
The light green gemstone failed to so much as warm within his palms.
His doting mother and strong-willed father were undiscouraged. In fact, they were delighted; they voiced enthusiastic speculation on what affinity their troubled boy might have, seeing as how something considered ‘common’ was unsuitable. Altier was of a different mind, seeing the blinds of optimism veiling the impending downfall of reality. The pair couldn’t fathom anything but excellence from their offspring, and although they never forced unrealistic expectations upon their young, they were ignorant of just how crushing that faith could be.
They never saw how strained his smile became as gem after gem lay inert in his hands, while their excitement only grew, though that too came to an end. Altier’s hopes of recovery vanished when his father was the one to break the news; the doctors had no more stones to give. They had tried them all, and anything more potent was well outside their means. He was promised that the search for a solution would continue, neglecting the fact that they had already borrowed funds from most of the village to afford what they already found.
His father held him in a tight embrace that night, reassuring the stock-still boy. Altier never noticed how his eyes had gone wide at the information. He didn’t even feel the rivulets of tears pouring down his sickly skin. No, he simply remained frozen as he connected the dots as to why his mother wasn’t the one delivering the news.
She wouldn’t be able to hide the fear in her eyes.
Though beleaguered he might be, Altier was not so ignorant as to forget the one gemstone they never tried—the only affinity that had yet to be tested, and never would be.
Decay.
Reviled by the church and woven into the concepts of death and entropy, Decay was what stalked heroes in tales of old. Decay was what bled from graveyards and followed the monstrous attacks that left bustling townships as little more than crumbled ruins. Decay was powered by pain, suffering, and bloodshed, using the gathered energies to bring forth yet more horrid atrocities.
And he was one of the accursed few who manifested an affinity with such a voracious element. It fed off his own vitality, consuming him to fuel its demands. He would never be healthy as long as he stayed quiet and kind; every ounce of growth would be combated by ever-increasing requirements. Eventually, the pittance he supplied might not be enough, and therein lie the fear he remembered in his mother’s visage.
He would be killed by his own affinity…or kill to provide for it.
Unwilling, unintentional death would be stripped from the cloth of others’ survival.
The bedridden young man became further withdrawn after that, turning away visitation to immerse himself in daydreaming. They still loved him, and they were sure to remind him constantly, yet he couldn’t help but notice that even the most assertive interaction never brought them closer than the doorway. He smiled regardless, escaping into books read by candlelight. The stories made his isolation less painful.
Altier lived vicariously through tales of knights combating orcs and goblins, suave merchants persuading harpies and lamia to relinquish their collections, and impeccable heroes who stood atop slain menacing dragons. It was a pastime of his that arose when his father acquired an old storybook from a roaming trader; he would turn the final page, then try to guess where fact ended and fiction reigned supreme. He had heard of the many monsters while eavesdropping from his window, but they all were either settled in distant lands or subdued by the army before they became a problem. A peaceful township like his benefited greatly from being so far from the uninhabited wastes beyond the kingdom’s borders, yet also came with its detriments—the lack of apothecaries was a notable one.
He was surprised when he heard the hushed whispers from beyond his room, the earthen pathways of their village set alight by curious voices. Men, women, and children alike gathered in front of their homes and workplaces to watch as soldiers of the king’s army politely marched through the streets, stopping in front of the humble abode belonging to a family of five.
At first, he feared that the financial toll of his condition had hindered his parents from paying due tax, earning the crown’s ire. But no, they came with a proposition; one of the king’s aides had received a letter from a doctor providing someone with elemental stones, and the news of a decay affinity was apparently quite intriguing to them.
He listened to parents refusing to part with their son, yet he also heard his brothers citing just how miserable their youngest was, begging their father not to imprison a child inside the cage of good intentions. It was hard to place both arguments inside the same frame, but it was clear that everyone still cared for him in spite of his affinity. The talking turned to shouting, then flipped to sharpened silence when the stairs creaked beneath his feet, drawing attention to the thin form of his weakened body. He took advantage of the guilty looks and curious new faces to ask what the offer was.
The crown’s minister of magic wanted to hire him—an absurd thought, but one he confirmed by having them repeat it twice. Decay seemed to be an exceedingly rare affinity, and was sparsely documented outside its occasional mention in yarns tumbling past the lips of horribly scarred and inebriated adventurers. He was wanted for study, and after receiving clarification that the process wouldn’t be harmful, he almost considered it. Why wouldn’t he? As much as his family tried, they were terrified of what he might become or do. He was tired of placing a burden upon them, never being able to help with the farm or clean around the house, and he was disgusted with how much more difficult his parent’s life was just by his existence. Of course, his mother and father had countless gripes they brought to light when they saw his contemplative expression, but the knight at the table placed down the final counterpoint.
A writ of promised compensation and a pouch of coin clinked against the aging furniture. The king himself had signed the document, and although neither of his parents received much education, they were both able to read the amount. As long as Altier continued to work, the crown would pay a portion of his earnings directly to his family. The house could get desperately needed repairs, the fields would see new farmhands, and his mother could hire help. They could have everything Altier had taken from them since his birth…and all he had to do was say yes.
So he did.
He ignored the protests, gathered his things, then hugged his parents and siblings farewell the next morning, promising to send them letters on how he was whenever he could. They were less than thrilled—hearing from him once a season at best wasn’t preferable—but they eventually wished him well when he explained that he hoped to control his affinity. His mother wept upon realizing he was aware of her concern over all those years. He cried when she told him that it pained her to remain so distant. The fear for her own life was something she didn’t feel at all; she just didn’t want him to blame himself if something happened that he couldn’t control.
“I brought you into this world to be loved,” she whispered into his ear as she held him, her voice damp and cracking, yet filled with familial affection. “I knew what it would cost me when I learned I was pregnant again; I just didn’t consider how you could think it was your fault. I would never forgive myself if you suffered because of something I decided. Death is too kind a punishment for what it would do to you.”
It took a while, but he did manage to collect himself enough to walk with his escort to the village’s limits, one of the soldiers helping him stay upright without an order or word of protest. They brought him to a carriage, then set off for the mainland, the view of his home shrinking until it was a mere speck in the distance. He could almost still see his parents’ faces filled with pride and sorrow, awestruck by his selflessness yet torn by his departure. His brothers had kept their facade of confidence and a jovial demeanour, but their concern bled through strained smiles. He fell asleep to the sounds of horses and the crackle of rocks against wooden wheels.
Some time passed without much of note occurring. Altier was examined by kind people of a town that was still rather far from the city, but no one had specifically said he was going there, so he wasn’t sure why he didn’t think to ask. Nevertheless, his affinity was documented using tools he couldn’t identify, and the answers he got for his inquiries passed straight through his ears. He was worried his lack of education would irritate the obviously more well-off researchers, yet the soft-spoken academics didn’t dislike him for his ignorance. They tried explaining things to him in ways he could understand, but switched to more general conversation when he was still struggling to comprehend. It was fine, though; he enjoyed the company.
Despite the long wait for a reply, the first letter he got back from his parents was a reassurance he didn’t know he needed. They had received their first payment since he left, and the pages were scrawled edge to edge with their praises, worries, heard gossip, and a single mention of his brother courting a woman. Altier wrote how glad he was that they were well, told them of all the interesting sights, his disappointment at not being in the capital proper, and how kind everyone was. He chuckled to himself after handing the letter off to be delivered, a last minute thought having him jot down a request for his mother to tease the nascent couple in his stead. He wondered if the next reply would include a relationship or not.
Things took a turn after a year. His eldest brother was still seeing his sweetheart, while the middle sibling had yet to have anyone catch his eye, his sights set on his work with the herbalist. Their mother mentioned how she suspected he was interested in the older woman in charge of providing salves and poultice for the village’s ill, and although she was hoping for him to find someone his own age, she put his happiness over having grandchildren. Their father was just as supportive, putting down his own sloppily written query on how their ‘brave boy’ was doing in romantic endeavours.
Altier smiled as he read, updating his family on how he had been moved to a more isolated region since their last correspondence, and thus wasn’t really able to meet anyone he could see himself with. He insisted he was fine, scattering well-wishes and the like while he avoided speaking of events he had promised not to mention. The response came off as somewhat stiff, but he was sure they would understand. All that really mattered was that they were happy and healthy.
His profession as a research subject came to an end, in a way. After collecting what information they could, there was a period where no one bothered to visit the Decay-afflicted young man. He dwelled within his humble accommodations in the middle of a forest, but he didn’t press when the people assigned to deliver food refused to answer where he was. It was fine; he had new books brought to him regularly, and knowing that his family was being taken care of by his ‘work’ was enough to dissuade him from complaining. He stayed quiet even as he got sicker and sicker, some nights spent shivering next to the fireplace with the most recent letter being held by trembling hands. The look of contentment on his face was genuine despite the insufferable pain.
Someone did eventually visit his little hovel in the woods. A man who introduced himself as a ‘Technician’ entered, accepted some simple tea, and made polite conversation for a while. It was a pleasant experience for someone who had grown used to solitude. Once they had both finished their drink, the Technician called for an aide to bring in an unexpectedly opulent box. The gold trim parted to reveal a strange orb—a ‘core’ the man called it, though he was reticent on what it was or did. All Altier was told was to spend the night’s rest with it in his hands, and by the morning, he would no longer suffer from his affinity.
“There is still much for us to learn, Altier,” the Technician promised, putting the younger man’s worries to rest. “Tomorrow, you will be stronger than ever. I would wager your parents will be ecstatic once you tell them.”
“W-what are we studying next?” Altier stuttered out, feeling the weight of the strange stone as it was laid into his unsure grasp. It was no larger than an apple, yet the smooth obsidian sphere somehow dragged him downward by the heart, the flawless surface captivating his attention in a way he both liked and despised. Light bent as he inspected the object, almost avoiding its very presence. He settled it on his lap after a moment, conflicted about how he would be healed by something the very world seemed to reject.
“We,” the newcomer started, flourishing an arm towards Altier, “are going to prepare. With your help, we can create the heroes from those stories you so love.”
It was a bitter memory in retrospect, yet the sickly boy at that table was entranced by what was promised to him. His soul would be captured by the orb, and he would be given the ability to make a Dungeon—the very same he read about hundreds of times. His body would be taken care of, suspended until he returned to it, which he was assured would be whenever he wanted.
That assurance came with a stipulation, however. Were he to decide that he was done, he would lose his new abilities, return to his old form, and be sent on his way, fully healed. But—and there was always a ‘but’—his parents would no longer receive compensation. The king had been withholding from implementing a tax increase in his village, and once the reason for it was no longer employed, then the other ministers would place immeasurable pressure until he capitulated. Altier’s whole world before leaving would fall under the demands. The Technician wore a sombre, sympathetic gaze as he expressed how difficult things would be for the boy’s parents.
Stupid, gullible Altier agreed, thanking the stranger for the opportunity. He went to bed with hope in his heart and wonder on his tongue.
[Initializing…]
[User identified: Altier
Affinity: Decay
Status: Deteriorating (Insufficient mana supply)
Inherent Ability: Avatar of Decay]
[Error: Insufficient Mana. System will acquire the excess from suitable sources as dictated by the User.
Error: User is unable to designate a suitable source.
Searching based on default requirements…Source found.
Converting source to Mana…Success.
Synchronizing…Success.
Updating libraries…Success.
Implementing framework…Success.
Establishing Domain…Failure. Insufficient Mana. Insufficient Authority.
Modifying criteria…Success.
Establishing Domain…Success.]
[Dungeon established! Generating assignment…Success.]
[Priority assignment: Prevent the End—324:450:3247:345:34:12]
[Priority assignment: Prevent the End—324:450:3247:345:34:11]
[Priority assignment: Prevent the End—324:450:3247:345:34:10]
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When he awoke, it wasn’t to the small room where books threatened to take over every available surface, but to a claustrophobic darkness that crushed him as much as left him weightless. He had been warned that the experience would be disorienting, so he clenched the jaw he learned was no longer there, took a breath that could no longer be taken, and waited like he was supposed to.
Thankfully, the Technician was a man of his word, and he came back shortly after Altier had managed to figure out the basics of…well, of whatever he was turned into. He found a way to ‘see’ the world around him, though ignoring the sense of vertigo that came with having sight of everything at once was difficult. There was text that he could summon or dismiss at will, but it only really displayed a countdown he wasn’t familiar with. Truth be told, he wasn’t quite sure what to think of things back then, but he remembered feeling relieved when the Technician brought droves of researchers.
The first thing he noticed with his new senses was that he was underground. The second was that he didn’t know how to talk without a mouth. Apparently, his new company had a list of expected inquiries, and they set out to answer as many questions as he might have.
Someone explained that they had already moved his body to a secure area, and in order to make use of his nascent abilities, his new form was taken to a suitable location. It made sense to him; if he was supposed to be a place where soldiers trained to fight monsters and get stronger, then they needed it somewhere hidden away from people who might accidentally wander in. Guards were apparently placed outside the entrance, but when he tried to separate his focus from the polished black orb, his sight grew dim and indistinct. They mentioned that sort of thing was expected, and once they placed him on a pedestal, he would be able to ‘feel’ his Domain more clearly.
He learned over time what a Domain was and how to use it, guided by the researchers and the occasional soldier or knight who stopped by to see how Altier was performing. He summoned his first creature using his stockpile of mana, though the spider wasn’t very threatening. Apparently, the pool of his new resource incremented passively based on how large he was, and would strengthen his abilities, but it also required an upkeep to maintain. He could get more by analyzing new materials, objects, or whatever else he hadn’t seen before, and he gained a larger amount by absorbing something—after inspecting it, ideally. Beginning as a single room, neither the upkeep nor income was particularly exciting, but the researchers also had a solution to that: Invaders.
‘Invader’ was a term that referred to any creature that entered his Domain, and although he gained mana during their occupation, they were also a threat to the core. His imminent concern for his safety was abated by the Technician quickly assuring him that, in the unlikely event that the core was destroyed, he would be transferred back to his body without any ill effects, but it would also bring an end to the agreement that prevented his family from being crushed by financial demands. He quietly reiterated the point until it stuck, then waited through the explanation until he had most of his questions answered.
Sadly, the Altier back then didn’t know what questions to ask.
Once he worked out how to summon and manage the most basic of creatures, his guides urged him to build and expand, which took some getting used to. A single room became a hub of connections, and despite the advice given, he metaphorically banged his head against the wall that was trying to close off his core. It just didn’t work; any walls would refuse to be built, containers would topple before they fell over him, and everything else he tried ended just as unspectacularly. Something would always be able to reach him if they had the desire to.
Eventually, he was put through mock ‘invasions’ where fresh trainees fought his creatures, reached the core, then stopped to place a hand on it before leaving, taking some of his mana as a reward. He didn’t understand how it worked, but he learned that people could ‘absorb’ some experience to fuel their affinity if they touched him. The more experienced he became, the more that invaders received, and the more experience he got from defending his core from increasingly powerful invaders. It was a cycle he could comprehend, and it put to rest the lingering fear that someone would try to break his core.
There was also something of an exchange going on; coloured motes were left behind on the core’s surface, then slowly absorbed. Each time it happened, he gained a little more insight on how to integrate new things into his dungeon—first a small pool of water, then a fire, then other things that seemed fairly removed from the concept of ‘Decay.’ As soon as a researcher noticed what was going on, the Technician encouraged Altier to specialize in a particular element, since that was apparently more efficient. With a few more long-winded explanations, he had figured out how to hide anything that wasn’t related to Decay within his ‘menu,’ and focused on making himself as strong as he could.
Mock invasions became a regular occurrence, each one taking place after he had the chance to patch holes in his strategy or adjust rooms. He discovered that expanding downwards was an option, but doing so meant that he needed a ‘Boss’ to precede the stairs. The selection unsettled and excited him. A skeleton was what ended up guarding the way deeper into his Domain, and at the insistence of his guides, he left the new creature…monster…? He left his new creation as it was and set about expanding the second floor. Thankfully, the task went smoother since he knew what to do, and soon enough, he was the proud owner of ten floors. Every boss focused on testing what the knights and soldiers knew about fighting and teamwork, and every floor down grew harder and harder to contest.
Altier’s first ‘victory’ was gained when his ‘invaders’ surrendered on the ninth floor. He had been proud of that; they weren’t expecting him to branch into using animal as well as humanoid skeletons. A well-placed Ox made short work of their forces, but stopped before doing more than bashing them around. The thrill of defending his core was incomparable. He also gained access to some more cosmetic options for his existing structures, including the ability to write on a sign if he so wished—though doing so was prohibitively expensive. He didn’t care; a sign was put near the entrance within seconds, asking if someone would mind letting him know when letters arrived from his parents, and to write his reply to send back.
To his relief, it wasn’t much longer before a letter did arrive. He was delighted to hear that all was well, yet sad when he wasn’t able to attend his brother’s wedding. It was a simple affair, true, but he would have liked to go. He asked the person who was kind enough to read it out for him to pen his response, then got back to improving his Domain. His family was doing well, and if being the best dungeon he could be would ensure their happiness lasted as long as possible, then he would be just that.
Ten floors became twenty. Twenty became forty. He hit one-hundred floors after constant effort, happily using signs to ‘talk’ through short phrases with the nicer groups of ‘invaders’, while he mostly ignored the rest. It was too hard to keep track of everyone after a while, but he was supposed to be a training ground, so he kept up doing what he was supposed to, mentally smiling when someone he was keeping tabs on managed to overcome a challenge they were struggling with. Some got stuck on certain floors, unable to adapt to new creatures, while others had a hard time traversing the increasingly long voyage to his core. He made small recovery rooms for a party that thanked him for the challenge, filling basins with food and water, then instructed his creatures not to bother anyone inside.
Surprisingly, the group accepted his offer of rest with gratitude that seemed excessive. They spoke to the walls, regaling him of their various journeys and the humorous events spread throughout. He enjoyed the time spent focusing on that area, as well as the gifts people sometimes left behind. Each new item was transferred to a room near his core, where he kept a collection of keepsakes ranging from books to tarnished jewellery that had more sentimental value than monetary. Still, it was all priceless to him, displayed proudly next to the letters he received regularly from his family.
His one-hundred floors became two-hundred, and he struggled to find recurring visitors after some time. The soldiers grouped up into parties of five or six, venturing into the dungeon with the goal of increasing the strength of small units. Altier adjusted the difficulty to accommodate, dialing back the force he once used to combat near endless waves of knights. Magic was something that came from the change in tactic, much to his surprise. It was weak, but pretty much everyone who tried the dungeon could light a torch or chill their water. He wasn’t well-learned about what any particular element could do, but he was glad to see that his new participants were indeed getting stronger.
The two-hundred floors became three-hundred, which then became four-hundred. Altier’s creatures would have been terrifying if it wasn’t for the fact that he had yet to kill anyone, the skeletal monstrosities looming through corridors like horrific nightmares made manifest. He was pleased to find that they listened rather dutifully when he said to escort those who surrendered to the entrance, which was most people. In fact, hardly anyone ever made it to his core anymore, despite the jump in power of various magics he often saw. Flamethrowers, earthen spikes, empowered bodies, and many more effects were in play within each party that tried to conquer his trial. A particularly adept group eventually placed their hand on the obsidian sphere, taking suffocating amounts of mana, while also leaving a thick haze of their own. His creatures became far stronger for it, and so he adjusted the difficulty once more, wondering when they would try to best him again. Unfortunately, they never did, but he saw some people who shared a striking resemblance, and the newcomers were easily more magically inclined. It was fun to challenge them.
The cycle repeated, though he wasn’t sure when the Technician stopped visiting. Altier was too busy keeping his end of the deal, improving the crown’s army in exchange for giving his family a life they deserved. He did notice something wrong after the letters started taking a while to come, and although the contents filled him in on the newest events, things started seeming…out of character. The feeling tickled at his mind, but it was fine. They were happy and well.
How foolish he was.
A party entered shortly after he completed his six-hundredth floor, instantly setting off an incomparable feeling of dread. His senses warped when he tried to focus on them, blocking everything in their vicinity from his view. It took a bit for him to figure out why, but they were carrying something that sucked the mana out of the very dungeon itself, and his unbidden instincts screamed that whatever it was needed to be destroyed. He reacted without thought, releasing everything he determined too dangerous for simple training in a bid to drive them out.
It wasn’t enough. He watched the void travel floor after floor, leaving nothing but dismembered skeletal creatures in their wake. Veritable monsters were slain, chimeras he had worked on as a side project became incinerated dust, and the signs he left for the weary were torn off the walls. A voice bellowed through his halls from the darkness he couldn’t see, declaring what was happening.
They were not there to train. In order to defend against a force threatening the kingdom, they needed power, and in order to gain that, they needed his mana. His experience. All of it.
They were there to break the core under the king’s decree.
Altier’s nonexistent heart stopped, memories of how impoverished his family used to be flashing through his mind, and with a near silent refusal, he let the instincts to get rid of the invaders swallow him whole.
By the time he calmed down, it was to a pit of blackness and a dull pull in his ephemeral chest stopping him from being able to do anything. He could still ‘hear’ though, and he heard the choking breaths of a single man in his core’s room. He heard the bitter laughter that followed accusations of dooming the very world…as well as sympathies for what the pale, sickly, Decay-afflicted man had gone through.
Altier could only listen as the man told him how his dungeon was hundreds upon hundreds of years old, and how the party had been briefed on its history. He listened as the man spoke of the letters that were to be presented to the dungeon every scant decade, yet always claimed to be given every few months. The groups he befriended had left to start families of their own, and their children returned to befriend him as well, continuing the cycle and passing it on in a generations-long tradition. He listened as he ignored the warnings popping up, the transient text telling him that his mana production was insufficient to support the dungeon. That he was dying.
When the man perished, and the dungeon collapsed piece by piece, Altier listened to silence, because there was nothing else he could do.
Nothing besides reading the text that lingered in his vision amidst the warnings.
[Priority assignment: Prevent the End — Failure]
- - - - -
Altier ‘looked’ at the dim orb that seemed so much like his own, its small form sat next to dust that might have once been the man who unveiled all those truths so long ago. He didn’t know how long it had been since then, only that he was still alone. He wasn’t even angry anymore; the energy needed to feel rage or sorrow was gone. He was just lonely.
[Attempting to reestablish Mana Well…Failure.]
The core dismissed the message absently, more than aware of what it read. Thousands of the notifications had passed by, interspersed by various abilities and whatever else becoming ‘corrupted.’ He didn’t care anymore. His dungeon was his pride at some point, but now he just wanted to feel the sunlight that slowly dimmed as night claimed the evening sky. It would be nice to see the stars again. Or just outside, assuming there was anything left to see. Maybe it was all a desolate wasteland.
[Restructuring Affinity: Decay…Failure.
Reorganizing libraries…Failure.
Re—]
[Error. Ability ‘Avatar of Decay’ has been corrupted. Please provid—]
[Error. System corruption exceeding threshold. Please provide a valid framework.]
[Error. Affi—]
It might as well be. He sold himself to ensure his family’s well-being, but how many of those letters were real? Did they have a good life, receiving word that their ‘brave boy’ was healthy and happy? He hoped so. All there was left to do was watch the thin glow of the outside shift. Eventually, that draining orb the floor would run out of things to take from him. And to think that he just wanted those he cared about to be well…
[Error. Stability compromised. System integ—]
Altier roused from his trance, lethargically shifting his focus to a flicker of shadow near the deteriorated entrance. How strange it was to have his core room be right next to outside, yet he didn’t recall how that came to be. Magic, possibly, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to care. He was tired of numbers and percentages. Of values and skeletons. He was tired of being a dungeon, and of being alone.
A rock—a pebble, really—tumbled into the shallow curved hallway that acted as the path to his core, a strange sound getting louder. He ‘felt’ his brow furrow in perplexion before he actually considered what was happening. That was a voice. Speech. Someone was talking.
He was stunned silent before enthusiasm could build. A gaunt bipedal creature entered the cave, though it was decidedly not human. Taloned feet supported two legs, though they walked on their toes, he supposed. Its skin was reptilian, the pale black colour still managing to look plush, if dry. A thick, long tail swayed slowly to correct its weight, shifting its tattered garment that looked more like worn burlap than clothing. Nervous hands fiddled with chipped claws and felt along the wall, a lack of care rendering them dull and dirty. Fearful, exhausted eyes wandered the cave, the grey irises showing a pained soul underneath an etched smile on otherwise soft features.
Altier ransacked his memory as the creature nervously looked for something in his desolate ‘dungeon,’ recalling a crude painting in one of his old books. It was a kobold, though they shouldn’t have been anywhere near the kingdom, not that it mattered now. The scaly occupant muttered to itself, their voice soothing and feminine in a language he didn’t know. He wouldn’t have minded the conversation, but it was a moot point; he lost the ability to write on signs long ago. A part of him was surprised he would talk with a monster from his stories. He was never overly involved with his fellow humans—excluding his family and the odd party in his rest areas—but he figured there would be more resistance. There was no point in thinking about it. It would leave when it realized there was nothing here, and he would be alone again.
The last thing he would have expected was the kobold noticing a dusty obsidian orb sat atop crumbled stone, then excitedly picking said orb up to hold against its chest, its chirps of excitement filling the quiet room. Or, it would have been the last, if not for the messages that appeared.
[Compatible library found! Synchronizing…Error. Framework is incompatible.
Restructuring framework…Error.
Redefining framework…Error.
Replacing framework…Success.
Restructuring framework…Success.
Defining Affinity…Error.
Redefin—
Error.
Error.
Err0r.
Er44#%$@.
Rein#$^!@zing…Er$&*or.
Domaaaaaa#@%in…Er^r.
@%$%#$R.
Aff%$^: Null…Su^@!#ss.
D#@%^a@#n Es^!@l%#@ed!—]
[Null]
[Pr#%y #@$nment: ERRRR#*#$RRR—]
[Null]
[Priooooooority Assignmentmentmnet: B#&#$^—]
[Null]
Next

Hi all, Apologies in advance for the very long post. This is my first one via the PC rather than the phone, so hopefully the grammar, spelling and readability are better than my usual comments!
My wife is having an affair with a male work colleague (minimum emotional, HIGHLY likely to be physical), but continues to deny it. I'm trying to write this in paragraphs but it's really difficult, so I'll go with bullets:

• 21st / 23rd December - something happened as her mood was significantly off with me and on a later audio recording from my house I hear them talking about these specific dates and saying "you said something like "you get in there, so I did""
• 29th December - we got intimate (normally a dead bedroom, but we did things 4 times from this date and through January) and then later that day she searched on google maps at his area (some distance from ours and google was super specific about the viewing location, we know no-one else around there and I had no idea he lived there until early April)
• Between 9th March and 2nd April she visited his house a minimum of 4 times (all time stamped and location pinpointed on google maps) when she said she'd been at her female friends. These were to varying times including two past midnight...
• Start of April I found messages saying "Love you, I miss you! Looking forward to seeing you Sunday"... Context: She'd only seen him less than 48 hours before the "I miss you" bit, and there were no other messages above these, so they'd been actively deleting them to hide their conversations.
• Confronted her with it all and was told "we're just friends, he's my someone to talk to whilst we've been struggling, I don't love him, I'm not having an affair". But she made no attempt to apologise or reconcile with me. I sent her a screenshot of their messages later that day and said "no, I love you"... Her reply? "have you got screenshots of all of the messages?"...
• After this I still said "I won't stop you talking to him but please don't hide it". Because I'm not controlling and I needed time to process everything - guess what she did?...
• Called him every time I was out of the house, finished calls with "Loooove you", changed appointments that I was aware of so that she had more time after to see him, talked about how "he didn't question anything when I got in" after seeing him whilst going out to buy our daughters last few birthday presents.
• I haven't included all details as I collated A LOT. New perfume, thongs, ankle bracelet (which I think might be from him), always home late from work despite working a literal 3 minute drive/10 minute walk away, the list goes on.

But guess what? She still denies it and instead deflects it back on me for a conversation I had via facebook in June 2023 with a girl from my gym, who I saw (but didn't talk to other than a nod and "you ok?" with headphones on) 3 times a week at the 5am slot along with a load of other regulars. I was transparent with my wife about the conversation at the time, I congratulated her on a significant weight loss transformation that she put on her stories and we chatted briefly about the gym and workout history. I saw my wife get angry when I mentioned I was trying to find a pic of my old gym to send her, so I blocked her and (this is where I did make a mistake), deleted the chat when it prompted me asking if I wished to delete it.
I was so apologetic back in January when she told me this had upset her (yes that's correct, 7 months after the messages) and changed her. I bent over backwards to find the messages/recover them and prove it was platonic. I respected her wishes of not contacting the girl and asking for screenshots of the messages. (I realise now that this is not the cause, and is deflection, but I want you to all understand the where I went wrong too).
Yet when confronted, she still denies it and gets very angry at me. Neither of us are interested in reconciliation, I love this woman with all of my heart, but this behaviour is of someone else and I will not be treated like this. The only thing close to truth that I have had so far is that when I challenged her on the basis that it was definitely an emotional affair even if she says it didn't get physical (which I don't believe at all), she literally didn't response. I think that's the closest I'll get to an admission of guilt.
I also challenged her on whether they're romantic now and she said "what does that mean"... and when pushed further for "are you more than friends" she refused to answer as "you ended the relationship" (I told her a week after finding the messages that I don't see how we can go on as I won't trust her and she'd made ZERO attempt at apologising or reconciling).
She's shown zero empathy, remorse or concern towards me. She's been angry and cold, but will then be sweet and she even flirted on Saturday... mind bend. (we have a house and two kids together, so the separation will take some time and we have to be amicable under the same roof).
Useful info for context:

• She's known the work colleague since about 2013/2014 (we met in 2012...)
• She continued to talk to him via messenger at all hours, including lying next to bed with me (but at this point not hiding it) even when she didn't work there anymore between 2015-2022.
• She went back to work at the same place in 2022....
• I always felt slightly uneasy but was a trusting husband giving her autonomy, and I guess that's also why I didn't think me messaging the girl at the gym was a big deal... in hindsight that's probably precisely why it was a big deal, because she knew how she felt about him (or maybe even what they had been doing together already).

Then to top it off with the confusion? She still assumed we'd all go on the family holiday in August "for the kids, this isn't about us".
My brain is fried a bit. BUT you should see how far I've come since the 5th April when I found those messages. I was in a dark place.
Sorry for the rant.
I hope you're all ok with your of struggles and situations.
But back to the main topic, why do they deny it so vehemently?

(this is my throwaway account) let me write my whole backstory
i honestly don't want to burden anyone with this. i'm a very reserved person.
but after so many years, i really want to talk all of this with someone.. i'm sorry as this is too long... if you don't want to read all of this, it's okay. but if you do read this, please help me by giving some clarity.
FIRST of all, the below storyline is a total timeline of 5 years.
so i was a very shy and reserved boy. i was in my +2 when i met a girl, let's call her A. we immediately became good friends and we were best friends for over a year. she used to like/had a crush on a boy named B. she had told me this initially, within a month of our friendship, i was cool about it as i was just a friend. they were in kinda complicated relationship i believe, but they had broke up in between (around 4-5 months of our friendship). so yeah, we continued as friends and got very close with each other (nobody has confessed yet). and one fine day, i get to know that she's still in relationship with B (i got to know that through her friends and i didn't quite understand why she didn't tell me eventhough i was her top 1 best friend out there)
i kinda figured it out NOW that it was because of one of these

1. she "probably" had feelings for me and if she told me about the relationship, she would probably lose the chance with me
2. i was maybe a spare tyre, if relationship with B didn't work out, i'd be there for her emotional baggage (idk if this is a possibility because i can't think of her this way, she was a good girl)

okay, so that goes on.. in short, she gets to know i'm kinda jealous that she likes him. it was kinda evident but i never wished for them to breakup, instead i asked her to cut the friendship with me. but later (i'm writing this short, avoiding a lot of small small details)... we both confessed to each other (it was feeling so wrong because she was in relationship with B). we started getting a lot more closer (basically cheated on B and defended when found out). they broke up eventually.
we were in relationship for some months and i broke up with her (i couldn't bare the immaturity, every fight was being blamed upon me, every night i used to go sleep after a lot of crying, after every fight i'm the one who convinces her).
some months have passed and i find out she got into relationship with other dude named C (yeah okay, i don't mind, but i hadn't moved on from her, eventhough all of those immaturity, i was having a really good time with her). they were in relationship for 2+ years. i had talked to her and met her in between of their relationship and she had confessed that she hasn't moved on (basically hinting that her relationship with C was rebound relationship). we got into the relationship again (still when she was dating C - basically cheating on him). when one day i gathered myself and told her this can't go long, you can't love 2 people at once, you need to choose one (replies were all confused crying - long story short, she chose him. i felt like a spare tyre, a second option).. he broke up with her after some months (because of some other reasons).
okay, then (maybe after few weeks of breakup idk), she starts dating her best friend named D. it lasted for maybe 10-15 days (idk if that was rebound relationship too). later she contacts me and tells me about her breakup with C (she doesn't tell me about D). we start getting closer again and started dating (this became a very serious and lovely relationship than ever before - as both were emotionally very mature). we dated for some months, i get to know about D and i start having a lot of confusions as i am having right now. my confusions were like

• she cheated on B for me
• she cheated on C for me
• she didn't like dating D

does that mean she loves ONLY me TRULY (or) she will cheat on me someday just like she cheated on B and C?
okay so these confusions i just shoved them away thinking they're my overthinking (these confusions have come back now).
so after we dated for months, my orthodox family got to know about it. we both belong to 2 different religion. (long story short - i either get to choose to live with A and leave my parents (OR) i leave A and have my parents.). after lot of fights and convincing, i had to breakup with A and live with parents.
okay in few months, she started dating D again. 7 months pass by since our breakup and i wasn't able to move on at all, i still loved her a lot. she was my first thought when i wake up and last thought while sleeping, used to look at her pictures every single day. so, on a random day i get a long text from A that she's having some problems. we talked on call and you know, got close again. we knew we are impossible to be together but yeah. but i basically found out after few days that she had moved on and she contacted me just to be an emotional support. this broke me, and then she revealed about dating D few months back (after we broke up and it didn't work out well). i felt even more bad, as in, how can she even move on that easily and start dating someone else.
okay now, after she revealed all of this i had a lot of confusions, this is how the convo went.
me: do you constantly feel the need of love and attention. yes/no.
A: Yes
me: most of the time, do you ask for it or you get it
A: Both.. Sometimes I get ... sometimes I ask for it
me: do you need love and attention from specific people or anyone that could provide a level of love and attention which would match your expectations
A: Only certain people
me: imagine a time, where you don't get that love and attention from that set of certain people. would you give a chance to someone new in your life who can give the same love and attention?
A: No. I'll keep expecting from tht person itself
me: why did you feel a need to go to them then? (i'm implying C and D)
A: Bez i k them. I crave for love and affection from the people i feel same. I don't crave it from my dad, my brother or my girl frds. There are only few people in my life. Whom I feel safe and let all my childish self out. It surely doesn't mean tht I will go with Anyone who will give me love. Only bez i want it.
eventhough i asked all of these, i still had a lot of questions about her, myself and our complicated relationship story. i don't want to ask her more because she is literally accused me of judging her character after i asked these questions, implying that i asked these by judging her character. so i don't wanna ask again, instead i want to ask you all strangers here so that my head gets cleared.

1. there are so many instances in above story where she is able to date someone else (but still say that she hasn't moved on from me). this makes me doubt, if she hasn't moved on, how could she even date someone else?
2. does she really love me or any of the B, C, D or she just relies upon us as a punching bag? just a source of love and attention? this is my prime question because in the above story u can notice that she jumps from one person to another as soon as one person breaks. why is it so, when i couldn't move on from her in these 5 years and could never date anyone else (because she always occupied my mind). how is that i'm so bound to her but she could move on to other people and come back to me.
3. i feel like, if we just stop contacting now, i'm 100% sure she will start leaning towards D or find someone else. am i wrong in thinking this? i really feel this. they're still best friends (how can you be in contact with your ex, without having any feelings? honestly baffles me)
4. were me and D, just her backups? spare tyres? because when she was dating B, she didn't tell me about him (maybe because if she did, she would probably lose the chance with me). and when i was dating her, she didn't let D know about it and was still best friends with him (maybe because she would lose a chance with D, maybe her plan was to use him as backup if relationship with me fails)

i've never asked these questions to myself, infact they never occured to me because our relationship was going really good when we were together, it almost felt like the PERFECT relationship ever. but i now feel like i overlooked a lot of things, i should've shared it with someone else to get their perspective of her. i bottled up everything and never told anyone in my life about all of this, so i never got an outside perspective about her or our complicated relationship. i just want to have answers for above 4 questions which will decide if i was just overthinking about a perfect dear girl or was i so blind in love that i forgot to notice her red flags? the inconsistent behavior have left me questioning her intentions and my place within the relationship. i have invested significantly in these 5 years, and i seek answers.
p.s. sorry for any grammatical mistakes, english isn't my first language.

So I researched other ways of making friendship bracelets and looking at how we could use our regular yarn (you know normal wool for knitting) instead of having to buy expensive embroidery threads.. my kids are fickle and one minute they LOVE something and the next minute I am left with piles and piles of craft material that no one wants. Ah. Anyway.. it took ages to find this, but I stumbled across a Japanese friendship bracelet making technique called Kumihimo - at first it looked super complicated (when you get good at it, you can do all sorts of cool patterns) but actually realise that the very basic one is SUPER EASY and really easy for little kids too. AND had the bonus of actually being "educational too" - i realised my kids had to follow a simple sequencing... always a bonus! Right. Anyway, all you have to do is make this little cardboard disc (I literally traced a tin can on some cereal box cardboard), cut some slots and DONE! This is clever and the result really cute and it works SO WELL with normal yarn.. I thought I HAD TO SHARE IT!!! Have you tried this??? Do you have another technique for us that we have a go at this summer? https://www.redtedart.com/friendship-bracelets-with-cardboard/

(this is my throwaway account) let me write my whole backstory
i honestly don't want to burden anyone with this. i'm a very reserved person.
but after so many years, i really want to talk all of this with someone.. i'm sorry as this is too long... if you don't want to read all of this, it's okay. but if you do read this, please help me by giving some clarity.
FIRST of all, the below storyline is a total timeline of 5 years.
so i was a very shy and reserved boy. i was in my +2 when i met a girl, let's call her A. we immediately became good friends and we were best friends for over a year. she used to like/had a crush on a boy named B. she had told me this initially, within a month of our friendship, i was cool about it as i was just a friend. they were in kinda complicated relationship i believe, but they had broke up in between (around 4-5 months of our friendship). so yeah, we continued as friends and got very close with each other (nobody has confessed yet). and one fine day, i get to know that she's still in relationship with B (i got to know that through her friends and i didn't quite understand why she didn't tell me eventhough i was her top 1 best friend out there)
i kinda figured it out NOW that it was because of one of these

1. she "probably" had feelings for me and if she told me about the relationship, she would probably lose the chance with me
2. i was maybe a spare tyre, if relationship with B didn't work out, i'd be there for her emotional baggage (idk if this is a possibility because i can't think of her this way, she was a good girl)

okay, so that goes on.. in short, she gets to know i'm kinda jealous that she likes him. it was kinda evident but i never wished for them to breakup, instead i asked her to cut the friendship with me. but later (i'm writing this short, avoiding a lot of small small details)... we both confessed to each other (it was feeling so wrong because she was in relationship with B). we started getting a lot more closer (basically cheated on B and defended when found out). they broke up eventually.
we were in relationship for some months and i broke up with her (i couldn't bare the immaturity, every fight was being blamed upon me, every night i used to go sleep after a lot of crying, after every fight i'm the one who convinces her).
some months have passed and i find out she got into relationship with other dude named C (yeah okay, i don't mind, but i hadn't moved on from her, eventhough all of those immaturity, i was having a really good time with her). they were in relationship for 2+ years. i had talked to her and met her in between of their relationship and she had confessed that she hasn't moved on (basically hinting that her relationship with C was rebound relationship). we got into the relationship again (still when she was dating C - basically cheating on him). when one day i gathered myself and told her this can't go long, you can't love 2 people at once, you need to choose one (replies were all confused crying - long story short, she chose him. i felt like a spare tyre, a second option).. he broke up with her after some months (because of some other reasons).
okay, then (maybe after few weeks of breakup idk), she starts dating her best friend named D. it lasted for maybe 10-15 days (idk if that was rebound relationship too). later she contacts me and tells me about her breakup with C (she doesn't tell me about D). we start getting closer again and started dating (this became a very serious and lovely relationship than ever before - as both were emotionally very mature). we dated for some months, i get to know about D and i start having a lot of confusions as i am having right now. my confusions were like

• she cheated on B for me
• she cheated on C for me
• she didn't like dating D

does that mean she loves ONLY me TRULY (or) she will cheat on me someday just like she cheated on B and C?
okay so these confusions i just shoved them away thinking they're my overthinking (these confusions have come back now).
so after we dated for months, my orthodox family got to know about it. we both belong to 2 different religion. (long story short - i either get to choose to live with A and leave my parents (OR) i leave A and have my parents.). after lot of fights and convincing, i had to breakup with A and live with parents.
okay in few months, she started dating D again. 7 months pass by since our breakup and i wasn't able to move on at all, i still loved her a lot. she was my first thought when i wake up and last thought while sleeping, used to look at her pictures every single day. so, on a random day i get a long text from A that she's having some problems. we talked on call and you know, got close again. we knew we are impossible to be together but yeah. but i basically found out after few days that she had moved on and she contacted me just to be an emotional support. this broke me, and then she revealed about dating D few months back (after we broke up and it didn't work out well). i felt even more bad, as in, how can she even move on that easily and start dating someone else.
okay now, after she revealed all of this i had a lot of confusions, this is how the convo went.
me: do you constantly feel the need of love and attention. yes/no.
A: Yes
me: most of the time, do you ask for it or you get it
A: Both.. Sometimes I get ... sometimes I ask for it
me: do you need love and attention from specific people or anyone that could provide a level of love and attention which would match your expectations
A: Only certain people
me: imagine a time, where you don't get that love and attention from that set of certain people. would you give a chance to someone new in your life who can give the same love and attention?
A: No. I'll keep expecting from tht person itself
me: why did you feel a need to go to them then? (i'm implying C and D)
A: Bez i k them. I crave for love and affection from the people i feel same. I don't crave it from my dad, my brother or my girl frds. There are only few people in my life. Whom I feel safe and let all my childish self out. It surely doesn't mean tht I will go with Anyone who will give me love. Only bez i want it.
eventhough i asked all of these, i still had a lot of questions about her, myself and our complicated relationship story. i don't want to ask her more because she is literally accused me of judging her character after i asked these questions, implying that i asked these by judging her character. so i don't wanna ask again, instead i want to ask you all strangers here so that my head gets cleared.

1. there are so many instances in above story where she is able to date someone else (but still say that she hasn't moved on from me). this makes me doubt, if she hasn't moved on, how could she even date someone else?
2. does she really love me or any of the B, C, D or she just relies upon us as a punching bag? just a source of love and attention? this is my prime question because in the above story u can notice that she jumps from one person to another as soon as one person breaks. why is it so, when i couldn't move on from her in these 5 years and could never date anyone else (because she always occupied my mind). how is that i'm so bound to her but she could move on to other people and come back to me.
3. i feel like, if we just stop contacting now, i'm 100% sure she will start leaning towards D or find someone else. am i wrong in thinking this? i really feel this. they're still best friends (how can you be in contact with your ex, without having any feelings? honestly baffles me)
4. were me and D, just her backups? spare tyres? because when she was dating B, she didn't tell me about him (maybe because if she did, she would probably lose the chance with me). and when i was dating her, she didn't let D know about it and was still best friends with him (maybe because she would lose a chance with D, maybe her plan was to use him as backup if relationship with me fails)

i've never asked these questions to myself, infact they never occured to me because our relationship was going really good when we were together, it almost felt like the PERFECT relationship ever. but i now feel like i overlooked a lot of things, i should've shared it with someone else to get their perspective of her. i bottled up everything and never told anyone in my life about all of this, so i never got an outside perspective about her or our complicated relationship. i just want to have answers for above 4 questions which will decide if i was just overthinking about a perfect dear girl or was i so blind in love that i forgot to notice her red flags? the inconsistent behavior have left me questioning her intentions and my place within the relationship. i have invested significantly in these 5 years, and i seek answers.
p.s. sorry for any grammatical mistakes, english isn't my first language.

Unpacking Investor Disputes: The Case of Connor Seedall and How to Recover Your Losses

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Hi everyone, so I went no contact with 2 of my friends who I think have been quite selfish over the years. I sent letters recently to officially end the friendships.
I didn't really go too personal with what my gripes were to them. I'm still figuring everything out that I'm mad at. As for the friend that has emailed me, I felt I was under his thumb, he was more overtly abusive when we were younger, mean pranks, making fun of me in front of people, taking photos of me while I was naked (changing, showering etc), stealing from me plus more. Recently it's been more covert narcissist type stuff, it's hard for me to even say what it is, I just don't feel good when I'm around. It doesn't help that we gambled together and got addicted, I'm in Gambler's Anonymous now and starting to get better, I'm not supposed to associate with other gamblers anyway.
Here is the email titled "letter received", I've redacted personal info. I just want to know what, if any, red flags you notice. I'll explain more in the comments if needed. The people he talks about losing aren't dead, they are an ex friend and ex fiance that chose to end the relationships as well. Here it is:
Hi James
I received your letter this morning and honestly, I feel very sick and upset about it and I do deserve a chance to respond. As I’m sure you understand I have questions.
Firstly, a response to how you think I’ve gone about things in the wrong way… the password resets were not a way of getting in touch I was genuinely surprised I couldn’t get in to Disney and thought I was putting it in wrong, it was only on the second time I realised what you had done. But of course you never communicated that to me. I was not ‘involving’ your family. You have to remember that we’re all sitting here for a very long time with no answers wondering how our friend is getting on and keen to see him, but being blocked with no explanation forces me to reach out to your mum and ask how you’re doing, I think about you all the time. So then after your mum said what she said I was thinking ‘ahh he’s really down, what can I do without seeing him?’ So I just sent some money and was saying ‘get a takeaway on me’. It was just a kind gesture from a friend to try and boost morale, because obviously I’m thinking what your mum is saying is true. So I don’t think the way you have gone about things during this time has also been that great, it’s been very confusing and unfair.
Now, I don’t think just saying you don’t want to be friends with me anymore and that you think our relationship is toxic, and then not going on to say any of the reasons why, is so unfair. And that’s what’s made me feel quite uneasy tbh, what a huge blow to the gut. Toxic means very harmful or unpleasant, and so that’s what our friendship is to you? I’ve seen you have these types of friendships and never thought in a million years i would be on the receiving end of it. So, yes I would like a much better explanation than the one in your letter, I thought we had much more mutual respect and understanding. So what have I done? And what have I done so suddenly on wrestlemania week that triggered all of this? Because in my opinion, I think our relationship is very much on the opposite side of toxic, I find that all we do is laugh pretty much and that hanging out with you definitely takes the edge off a stressful or bad day and it’s something I look forward to. And I also think I keep you away somewhat from real toxic shit like drugs, and get you doing the things that you’re really good at. I do what I can to help always, you’re my best and oldest friend. And yes, you feeling like this a while without saying anything and feeling obligated to keep the friendship going definitely makes me feel sick. There was no need to be fake when you can just speak up. I’m definitely sorry that I’ve made you feel any of this. You can come to me about anything, like always, and the same from me to you.
My main concern will always be us, that we’re happy and healthy and having a good time.
We’ve been together our entire lives and have such a catalog of memories, saying goodbye to all this is really the biggest shame and would make me very sad. And therefore, I’m really hoping that you can reconsider? I mean, absolutely have whatever space you need but I do urge you to reconsider on throwing away 30 years of everything. From the bottom of my heart I do apologise for ANY wrongdoing that I have done in the last couple of years and just know nothing has been with intent or malice. I just don’t want to throw this away when it’s salvageable. When a relationship breaks down or has issues, you open up and talk about them, you iron them out and you move past it. And clearly that hasn’t happened here before chucking it away. So please reconsider and open up to me, I would of course make whatever changes I can in the friendship to save it. We can change what we do, where we go, how we act, how often etc. I honestly don’t mind, I’m just unaware what the issues are at the moment, but I would very much like to move forward and past this. While you do have a right to be left alone, I also have a right to fight for what I believe in and what I don’t want to lose and that’s what I intend to do, albeit in the right ways.
Obviously I have had a very tough year in losing a friend in (name) and losing (name) and I really don’t need to lose my best friend too. So please if there’s anything I can do, I need you. I love you man.
Take care (name)

*this will be a long post heh*
SHINee just celebrated their 16th anniversary a few days ago and I was watching fancams of their concert and I just bawled like crazy. It made me so emotional watching them and I really wanted to write this post to share my journey with SHINee.
In 2011, my friend in middle school showed me this iconic music video and it was love at first sight. I was so obsessed with the guy in the all red outfit and that my friend was how I found my first bias at the ripe age of 14. I went all in with SHINee, I bought their first album on Amazon, The SHINee World, and I ripped the CD on iTunes and put the songs onto my iPod. And till this day I always go back to listen to Best Place, Romantic, One For Me because they are genuinely some of the best R&B tracks in all of Kpop. This is a great medley performance of their first album songs!
They were also the reason I got into Korean variety shows. From their iconic Hello Baby series to other funny variety appearances like this one. And their iconic SNL appearance where Minho's dibidibidis rap is made to life LOL
Also adding this popular clip where Jonghyun recreated their ramen commercial and he falls down and just watch the chaos that ensues after, Minho's laugh could be heard miles away I swear.
Because of their appearance on SNSD's Hello Baby I also got into SNSD right after as well. Throwback to when Key and Taemin were the fanboys of this VCR for SNSD's concert, it's so good lmao
I also will not let people forget about the iconic collabs that they had with their sister groups SNSD and f(x). They did Juliette with soshi here and Hello with f(x) here and this iconic one where Taemin kissed Krystal. Yes he really did that, 2nd gen wasn't playing with their stages.
But what was the main reason that I got into SHINee? It wasn't just because of Key's cute ass outfit in Hello but it was because the song was that f*cking good. It only takes one good song for me to get into a K-pop group and I can tell instantly if they're talented or not. So lemme get real into it, SHINee's discography.
They went on this show called The Muzit and did covers with a live band and I kid you not I watched this video like almost everyday back then. Key had that ridiculous Lucifer hair here but he killed the rap in I'll Be Missing You.
Everyone is always Ring Ding Dong this Ring Ding Dong that but what about my girl Jojo??? She is one of the best b-sides out there, ok just please listen to their vocals on this track, it still gives me chills till this day.
We all know noona neomu yeppeo but do we know the Japanese version where Yoona was the main girl and they had those crazy ass sneakers with wings on them and Taemin actually had more lines? No well here it is because she's a banger even in Japanese! While we're at it, let me introduce Kiss Kiss Kiss as well another great Japanese track by them.
The album that I really want to highlight is The Misconceptions of You Chapter 1 - Dream Girl. Why? Because they came out on stage spinning those mics like their lives depended on it. SHINee's back back, ok. Let me tell you why this album is a genius because in the first track Spoiler - Jonghyun included the name of every single song from Misconceptions of You Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 into this song. Yes he included the names of all 18 tracks in the song Spoiler. This song is pure genius because the intro literally sounds like Sherlock but then you're like wait what is going on, just listen to it. He literally gave us the spoiler by putting the spoilers inside a song called Spoiler.......Ok you thought I was done with this album, right? No I am not. They have a song on there called Sleepless Night and when I say their vocals will make you cry and give you goosebumps, this song is here to back up my point.
Other notable songs that I need to call out is Love Sick which pays a tribute to Replay both in lyrics and in CHOREO, when this came out I literally felt sick because I was gagged by how they are literally doing Replay's dance during the chorus.
I also need to put people on this beautiful b-side called Feel Good, literally put this song on and that is how you will feel. It's such a good track, and the 1 of 1 album was so SHINee and a perfect album.
After 2017, I did withdraw back a bit and it was much harder for me to follow SHINee the way I used to. But I always kept up with them and would check out their releases. From recent years I really wanted to point out the songs Countless, Kiss Kiss, Body Rhythm, Days and Years, and Sweet Misery.
I can't get too into the solo stuff because this post would go on forever but my favorites are as follow:
Onew - Love Phobia, Into The Whale, Caramel
Jonghyun - Hallelujah (omg this song drives me crazy), Moon, U & I
Key - Hate That, I Wanna Be, One of Those Nights
Taemin - Be Your Enemy, If I Could Tell You, this iconic Japanese song idk the English title
Minho - Heartbreak, Chase, Stay For A Night
Anyways SHINee has had an incredible career and they were such big pioneers in the K-pop industry. They captured my heart right away because they're such a genuine and hard-working group. Not only that but they have been with me through some of the hardest and loneliest years of my life. Whenever things were bad at home for me I would turn on their music or search up english subs to their variety shows or binge watch their concert fancams. Their music and presence gave me so much hope. I was never alone because I got to cry and laugh with SHINee while growing up. It was evident from early on that this group loves each other so much.
I was able to write this long post because of all the years of heartfelt memories I shared with them. I have all of these specific moments, songs, and performances deep in my mind. Somewhere in the corner of my heart, SHINee will always be there, just like how I have a mini encyclopedia page for them in my brain.
They're the reason I got into K-pop 13 years ago. I might not follow them as much and they might not be my ult group anymore but they'll always be my first love in K-pop. And we never forget our first love. I wish nothing but the best for SHINee and I will continue to support them wherever I am. I truly wish them the best anniversary this year. Happy belated birthday SHINee <3 OT5 FOREVER <3
I hope that newer fans can also appreciate the legends that they are.
And my last song recommendations are A-yo, Up & Down, Ready or Not. Their 2nd full album is kinda crazy, but in the best best way. And watch the Hello music video, I promise it will put a smile on your face.

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Are you looking to level up your marksmanship? Look no further than our roundup of the 45 Degree Iron Sights. This article takes a closer look at these top-of-the-line sights, perfect for avid hunters and shooting enthusiasts alike. Let's dive in, discover the features, and find out which one might be the best fit for your needs. Game on!

The Top 19 Best 45 Degree Iron Sights

1. TRUGLO Range Rover Single Pin Archery Sight - The Truglo AC Range Rover .019 Black Sight with Light is a top-tier archery accessory, offering 40 pre-marked yardage tapes, a versatile bracket, and a ZERO-IN Adjustment Dial for unmatched precision in the field.
2. HHA Optimizer Lite x Sight 5519 .019 - Infinite Adjust Slotted Side Bracket for 20-80 Yard Accuracy and Smooth Lever Action - The HHA Optimizer Lite X 5519 offers advanced features such as an infinite adjust slotted side bracket, water-resistant tapes, and a leveling bubble, providing 20-80 yard accuracy and smooth lever action for precise aiming in various lighting conditions.
3. Top-Rated Daniel Defense Ascent Verdict Archery Sight: Perfect for Hunting Enthusiasts - The Black Gold Ascent Verdict Arrow Sight offers a moveable, customizable design with a 4-inch dovetail mount, 1-pin configuration and the ability to accept a Black Gold lens kit for optimal bow accuracy.
4. Premium Green Dot Pistol Sights - The Axcel AccuHunter Picatinny Sight offers a precision-engineered slider sight with rapid adjust knob, quick release, and whisper-quiet gear teeth for fine-tuned yardage settings, making it a versatile and durable option for bow users.
5. Picatinny Sight with Green Accents for Precision Yardage Adjustments - The Axcel AccuHunter Picatinny sight features whisper-quiet gear teeth, adjustable yardage settings, a 20-yard dead stop, and 45-degree rear-facing sight tape for accuracy and functionality.
6. Truglo Range Rover AC Micro Sight - Circular Sight Picture and Multiple Features - The Truglo Range Rover AC Micro Sight offers a clean, circular sight picture with an all-metal pin, adjustable yardage-stop, ultra-smooth bracket movement with a tool-less yardage lock, and over 40 pre-marked yardage tapes for simplified setup.
7. Trophy Ridge React One Pro Dovetail RH Sight - Precision Reaction for Hunters - Experience unmatched accuracy and efficiency in the field with Trophy Ridge's React One Pro Dovetail RH .019 Sight, featuring React Technology, micro-click adjustments, and a versatile dovetail mounting bracket for seamless performance.
8. Quality Multi-Function Sleeper Chair for Comfort and Style - The Axcel Landslyde Plus Picatinny Sight AV-31 is a precision slider sight with rapid adjust knobs, quick release, and dead stop features for precise adjustments, while also featuring an adjustable scope, CCT technology, and a super-rugged design.
9. 45-Degree Offset Rail Mount for Tactical Accessories - Versatile 45-degree off-set rail mount by NcSTAR eliminates interference, offering easy access to accessories and a perfect fit for CQB situations.
10. Pro Series Sight Black 1-Pin .019 Iron Sight Adjustable for Right and Left Hand Use - Discover the precision and convenience of the Apex Aegis Pro Series Sight Black 1-Pin .019, perfect for long shots in open country and with enhanced low-light performance.
11. Dovetail Micro-Tune Low Profile Red Dot Sight with 2nd/3rd Axis Adjustments - The Viper Driver Q-1 Dovetail Sight offers a precise, low profile red dot sight experience with micro-click windage adjustments and 2nd/3rd axis controls, making it an ideal choice for shooters seeking accuracy and reliability.
12. CNC Machined Low Profile Red Dot Sight with Adjustable Pin Brightness - Experience ultimate precision and versatility with the HHA Optimizer Lite 5519 Sight, featuring a tool-free micro adjust windage, lens and light compatibility, and a mechanical rheostat for pin brightness adjustment.
13. New Hogg Father Archery Sight with QD Windage and Double Pin Design - Experience unmatched accuracy and durability with the Spot-Hogg Archery Products Hogg Father Wrapped Sight, featuring HRD technology for seamless adjustment and unrivaled performance, perfect for 45-degree iron sights enthusiasts!
14. Lightweight 45 Degree Hooded Peep Sight for Archery - Experience unmatched accuracy and speed with the Specialty Archery Pro Series 45 Degree Hooded Peep, a lightweight and versatile peep sight that meets all your archery needs.
15. Durable 45-Degree Iron Sight for Smooth Shooting Experience - Experience unmatched precision and durability with the Spot-Hogg Father Double Pin, featuring 45-degree iron sights for unmatched accuracy.
16. Black Gold Ascent Verdict: Advanced Single Pin Sight with Unique Featured Controls - Improved precision and durability in a streamlined package - the Black Gold Ascent Verdict Sight is your ultimate hunting companion!
17. Black Gold Dual Trac: Precision Sight with Micro-Adjustments and High-Performance PhotoChromatic System for Aiming - The Black Gold Dual Trac 4" Wing Truss Mount Sight is a high-performance option featuring single pin visibility with a second independently adjustable pin, PhotoChromatic shell for optimal brightness, and micro-adjustable axes for precise targeting.
18. Apex Aegis Sight - Green 45 Light Detachable Iron Archery Sight - Apex Aegis Sight Black Dovetail 1-Pin .019 Green provides optimal precision and convenience in archery with adjustable left and right-handed settings, micro-adjustable windage, and dual travel stops.
19. Allen Intruder Reversible Compound Bow Sight with 45-Degree Iron Sights - Black Finish - Allen Intruder It Bow Sight: A versatile and durable 45-degree iron sight option designed for precision and ease of use, featuring a machined aluminum bracket, post, and sight rack, molded smoke sight pin guard, and 3 metal body fiber optic pins.

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Reviews

🔗TRUGLO Range Rover Single Pin Archery Sight

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The Truglo Range Rover is a top-quality single-pin archery sight known for its groundbreaking features and precision. It features a ZERO-IN Adjustment Dial, enabling hunters to effortlessly make minor elevation adjustments, and a Quiver can be mounted directly to the bracket, making setup incredibly convenient. The sight also comes with an extra-long, fully protected wrapped fiber, ensuring durability and reliability.
Other notable features include the tool-less yardage lock, which allows for quick and smooth adjustments, the ultra-smooth bracket, and the extra-long, fully-protected wrapped fiber. The Range Rover is designed for left and right-handed shooters alike, making it a versatile choice for all archers. Overall, the Truglo Range Rover is a fantastic sight with a lot to offer, making it a top choice for single-pin archery sights.

🔗HHA Optimizer Lite x Sight 5519 .019 - Infinite Adjust Slotted Side Bracket for 20-80 Yard Accuracy and Smooth Lever Action

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HHA Optimizer Lite x Sight 5519.019 is designed to provide an accurate, long-range shooting experience for archers. Featuring a new infinite Adjust Slotted Slide Bracket, it allows the shooter to make 2nd axis and vertical adjustments with ease, enhancing accuracy and precision. The 20-80 yard accuracy and smooth lever action of the sight contribute to its popularity among archers. In addition, the water-resistant tapes and leveling bubble help in better alignment and accuracy.
The Optimizer Lite x Sight also features a machined aluminum pin carrier for improved durability and performance. Optional mechanical rheostat to adjust pin brightness and compatibility with Blue Burst light and Lens Kit are added benefits that contribute to the overall versatility of the sight. Archers will appreciate the lightweight construction, making it easy to carry and use during hunting sessions.
A unique feature of this sight is the optional mechanical rheostat that allows the user to adjust the pin brightness, ensuring better visibility in low light conditions. This sight is compatible with Blue Burst light and Lens Kit as well, enhancing its capabilities even further. With all these features, the HHA Optimizer Lite x Sight 5519.019 is a top choice for bow hunters looking for a reliable, versatile sight for both short and long-distance shots.

🔗Top-Rated Daniel Defense Ascent Verdict Archery Sight: Perfect for Hunting Enthusiasts

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The Black Gold Ascent Verdict Archery Sight is an impressive, moveable slider sight designed for use with right-handed archers, providing a reliable sighting solution. This 4" dovetail mount features adjustable 1st, 2nd, and 3rd axis for easy and precise targeting, making it ideal for both hunting and target practice. Its angled sight tape and photochromatic shell adjustments create optimized pin brightness in any conditions. The yardage adjustments are smooth, quick, and quiet, while working well with one-piece quivers.
The sight comes with 54 pre-printed sight tapes and includes a Black Gold lens kit (sold separately). Its compact design allows for easy integration with accessories such as lights or quivers. Overall, the Black Gold Ascent Verdict Archery Sight is an excellent choice for those in search of a long-lasting, high-quality, and versatile sight.

🔗Premium Green Dot Pistol Sights

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The Axcel AccuHunter Picatinny Sight 41mm 1 Pin. 019 Green sight is a versatile and precision-engineered slider sight with rapid adjustment capabilities. This sight features whisper-quiet gear teeth for precise fine-tuned yardage settings, an adjustable 20-yard dead stop for accurate distance adjustments, and a 45-degree rear-facing sight tape for minimal movement.
The sight also comes with true first, second, and third axis adjustments and a push-button windage lock for extra security. Its green accents, such as the elevation lock lever, pointer, and windage lock, help to enhance visibility.
The PAT-411041 AV Hunter scope provides a 1 3/4" or 41MM inside diameter, and the accompanying Fire pin equipped with tough CNC machined pins and a new method of fiber wrapping technology create one of the brightest fiber optic pins available. Plus, the Picatinny in-line sight mounts your sight to the front of your bow for better balance and to create a strong and durable connection. Overall, this sight has received high praise from users - a testament to its exceptional quality and functionality.

🔗Picatinny Sight with Green Accents for Precision Yardage Adjustments

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The Axcel AccuHunter Picatinny Sight, a 41mm slider sight, stands out for its rapid adjust knob and quick release feature. This sight allows for precise fine-tuning of yardage settings while maintaining a quiet operation. The 20-yard dead stop and 45-degree rear-facing sight tape aid in maintaining a stable aim and minimizing bow arm movement. Additionally, the sight offers top-quality true first, second, and third axis adjustments.
The green accents on the sight encompass the elevation lock lever, the pointer, and the windage lock, providing improved visibility during low-light conditions. This sight features fire pin equipped, CNC machined pins and the innovative fiber wrapping technology, resulting in one of the brightest fiber optic pins. The Picatinny mount design ensures a secure and durable connection between the sight and the bow, allowing for easy adjustment in either direction to match the peep sight.
Overall, the AccuHunter Picatinny Sight showcases exceptional quality, user-friendly adjustment features, and an attractive design, all combined to make it a worthwhile investment for avid bowhunters.

🔗Truglo Range Rover AC Micro Sight - Circular Sight Picture and Multiple Features

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The Truglo Range Rover AC Micro Sight is a reliable archery sight with high ratings from its users. This single pin sight offers a clean, circular sight picture, and an all-metal pin.
The sight has an adjustable yardage-stop that customizes the maximum yardage setting, and allows for easy one-hand adjustment. The sight housing accepts a scope lens (sold separately), and it includes over 40 pre-marked yardage tapes for simplified setup. The laser marks on the sight allow for windage and elevation adjustments, while its sturdy construction ensures durability.
Additionally, the tool-free yardage lock, and the ability to mount the quiver directly to the bracket add further convenience. Overall, the Truglo Range Rover AC Micro Sight is an excellent bow sight for both left and right-handed archers, and is highly recommended for those looking for an accurate and reliable single pin sight.

🔗Trophy Ridge React One Pro Dovetail RH Sight - Precision Reaction for Hunters

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When I first used the Trophy Ridge React One Pro Dovetail sight, I was blown away by its ease of use. The React Technology predicts pin gaps based on the distance between your 20-yard pin and any other yardage, making set up a breeze. It only took me 10 minutes to sight in from 20 to 100 yards. I love how precise and accurate the one-pin slider sight is, and the fiber-optic indicators make it easy to see my distance markers even in low light conditions.
While using the React One Pro Dovetail sight, I also appreciated the second and third axis leveling, which is perfect for downhill shots in steep country or out of a treestand. The machined aluminum construction felt solid and durable, and the micro-click windage and elevation adjustments allowed me to fine-tune my aim effortlessly.
However, one downside I encountered was the sight light included. It seemed to stay on, draining the batteries, or come on even when I knew I had turned it off. I had to replace the batteries frequently, which was quite inconvenient.
Overall, I highly recommend the Trophy Ridge React One Pro Dovetail sight for its easy set up, versatile mounting, and accuracy. Despite the issue with the sight light, the positives far outweigh the negatives.

🔗Quality Multi-Function Sleeper Chair for Comfort and Style

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As an avid hunter, I've frequently found myself in situations where precision and accuracy are of the utmost importance. That's why I decided to give the Axcel Landslyde Plus a try, and I'm glad I did. Its rapid adjustment knob and quick release mechanism allow me to adjust the yardage settings with ease, even when I'm in the field.
One of the standout features of this sight is the adjustable dead stop. It enables me to access my preferred yardage setting almost instantly, which is crucial during those heart-stopping moments when a shot presents itself. Additionally, the sight's adjustable pointers provide an extra layer of customization that allows me to fine-tune my aim to suit my preferences.
However, I did encounter a slight issue with the sight's adjustability. While the first, second, and third axis adjustments are easy to access, they don't always provide the smoothest experience. This can be a minor inconvenience, but it doesn't detract from the overall effectiveness of the sight.
Another aspect of this sight that I truly appreciate is its compatibility with various bows. The Picatinny in-line sight mount allows me to securely attach the sight to different bow models, making it a versatile choice for hunters with a variety of equipment preferences.
In conclusion, the Axcel Landslyde Plus is a reliable and efficient sight that has greatly enhanced my hunting capabilities. Its rapid adjustment feature and adjustable dead stop make it a must-have for hunters seeking a precise and customizable shooting experience. While it may have a few minor drawbacks, its overall performance more than makes up for it.

🔗45-Degree Offset Rail Mount for Tactical Accessories

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Imagine you're in the heat of the moment, aiming down the sights of your rifle, trying to take out a target from around the corner. This is where the NcSTAR Mount shines. Its 45-degree offset angle allows you to mount your lasers, flashlights, or red dot sights at just the right angle for a clear view down the barrel.
The offset canted design of the mount adds a level of versatility that's not often found in other mounts. It eliminates interference with vertical grips, hand guards, optics, and other accessories, making it perfect for a wide range of uses. Plus, the ergonomic design gives easy access to on/off switches for your accessories, which is a game-changer when you're in the thick of it.
But let's not forget the solid construction. The NcSTAR Mount is made from hard-anodized aluminum, which not only adds strength to the mount but also makes it resistant to corrosion. And the single-slotted thumb nut secures the mount to Weaver Style or Picatinny rails quickly and easily.
The NcSTAR Mount isn't just a device, it's a tool that could give you the edge you need in tense situations. It's a reliable, solid piece of equipment that's easy to use and a pleasure to work with. And the reviews from other users certainly back this up - they've praised its quality, price, and performance. So, if you're looking for a reliable, dependable, and versatile mount, the NcSTAR Mount is definitely worth considering.

🔗Pro Series Sight Black 1-Pin .019 Iron Sight Adjustable for Right and Left Hand Use

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I recently had the opportunity to use the Pro Single-Pin Slider Direct-Mount Sight Black 1-Pin 0.19, and I must say it exceeded my expectations. The sight's single 0.19 inch vertical pin and 1.8 inch aperture provide a clear and clean sight picture, which became particularly valuable when taking longer shots in open country.
One of the most impressive features was the integrated glow ring and the REVOLVE rotary sight light, ensuring low-light conditions never posed an issue. Additionally, the sight's dual yardage pointers, end-of-travel elevation stops, and fixed bracket with 3 potential mounting positions allowed for seamless adjustments even while moving.
I also appreciated the sight's ease of use and convenience, such as the second- and third-axis aperture adjustments and the left- and right-handed configuration options. Moreover, with 120 pre-marked sight tapes included, I felt that I had a solid setup for lethal, accurate shots throughout the season.
While I enjoyed the sight's features, there was one downside: the direct-drive elevation wheel's one-handed operation wasn't entirely smooth and silent as advertised, making it slightly challenging to use on the move. Nevertheless, the Pro Single-Pin Slider Direct-Mount Sight Black 1-Pin 0.19 has undeniably made a difference in my archery experience.

🔗Dovetail Micro-Tune Low Profile Red Dot Sight with 2nd/3rd Axis Adjustments

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I recently got my hands on the Viper Driver Q-1 Microtune Dovetail Sight 1Pin, and let me tell you, it's been a game-changer in my shooting experiences. This little beauty is the perfect companion to my firearm, allowing for pinpoint accuracy and ease of use, whether you're a right-handed or left-handed shooter.
One thing I absolutely love about this microtune sight is its knurled elevation adjustment knob. It's sturdy and easy to grip, making it a breeze to fine-tune my aim. Plus, the 2" sight housing is just the right size to make sure I've got a clear, unobstructed view of my target.
However, don't get me wrong; this isn't a one-size-fits-all kind of thing. The Q-1 Microtune Dovetail Sight is designed specifically for those who appreciate a low profile when aiming. If you're someone who prefers a more traditional scope with a bulky design, this might not be the sight for you.
Overall, I'm super happy with my purchase of the Viper Driver Q-1 Microtune Dovetail Sight. It's made my shooting experiences much more enjoyable and accurate, and I recommend it to anyone looking for a high-quality, reliable dovetail sight.

🔗CNC Machined Low Profile Red Dot Sight with Adjustable Pin Brightness

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I recently had the chance to give the HHA Optimizer Lite sight. 019 a try, and let me just say, I was very impressed. The micro-adjust windage system made sighting in a breeze, and I appreciated the included yardage dial.
One feature that really stood out to me was the mechanical rheostat for pin brightness adjustment. It allowed me to easily fine-tune the pin brightness, which is a game-changer for those shooting in low-light conditions.
As for the cons, I did find the mounting process a bit challenging and the detachable bracket was not included. Additionally, while the sight is well-built, it is a bit on the heavier side, which I noticed when shooting for extended periods.
Overall, the HHA Optimizer Lite. 019 sight is a solid choice for those looking for a reliable, easy-to-use sight for their bow. Just make sure you're prepared for a bit of a learning curve when it comes to mounting it onto your bow.

🔗New Hogg Father Archery Sight with QD Windage and Double Pin Design

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I recently gave the Hogg Father Wrapped Sight Double Pin 0.029 from Spot-Hogg Archery Products a try, and let me tell you, it's a game-changer! As an avid bow hunter, the ruggedness and durability of this adjustable sight stood out to me right away. The HRD technology ensures zero slop, buzz, or unnecessary maintenance, making it incredibly reliable and well-engineered for all conditions.
One feature that really caught my attention was the adjustability and accuracy capabilities that Spot-Hogg is known for. These sights are some of the tightest I've ever had the pleasure of using, and it's easy to see that the company has put in the time and effort to produce a sight that performs to the highest standards. The new QD windage feature is also a welcome addition for 2022, offering even more precision and flexibility on the field.
While there aren't many cons to point out, one potential drawback is that the Hogg Father Wrapped Sight Double Pin 0.029 may be a bit more expensive than other options on the market. However, in my opinion, the superior quality, functionality, and dependability of this sight make it well worth the investment. Overall, I highly recommend giving the Hogg Father a try when you're searching for a reliable and top-of-the-line sight for your next hunting expedition.

🔗Lightweight 45 Degree Hooded Peep Sight for Archery

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I recently had the chance to try out the Specialty Archery Pro Series 45 Degree Hooded Peep Black, and let me tell you, I'm hooked. With its lightweight aluminum construction, this peep sight makes a significant improvement to arrow speed, allowing me to hit my mark more accurately than ever before. The peep accepts all Specialty Archery 1/8" apertures, clarifiers, and verifiers, which is a nice touch for those who prefer customized options.
One thing that stood out to me was the convenient hooded design, which effectively reduces glare for a clearer sight picture. This feature comes in handy, especially when shooting in bright sunlight or under harsh conditions. However, it's essential to note that the Pro Series 45-degree sight should only be used in bows with an axle-to-axle length of over 40 inches, so make sure to check this before attaching it to your bow.
Overall, my experience with the Specialty Archery Pro Series 45 Degree Hooded Peep Black has been nothing short of impressive. Its durable construction and impressive performance make it a true standout among other peep sights, and I highly recommend it to any avid archer looking to up their game.

🔗Durable 45-Degree Iron Sight for Smooth Shooting Experience

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I recently got my hands on the Spot Hogg Father Double Pin sight and let me tell you, it's a game changer. The first thing I noticed was the sturdy design, which gave me confidence in its durability. It's a sight that's been around for a while now, and I can see why it's loved by many.
One feature that stood out to me was the easy adjustment. The 1st, 2nd, and 3rd axis leveling made it a breeze to set up and get my shot just right. However, the best part about this sight is the HRD technology. No more slop or buzz – this sight is rock solid.
But, don't just take my word for it. This sight is covered by a Limited Lifetime warranty, so you can rest easy knowing it's built to last. The 45-degree Iron Sights might be a bit different from what you're used to, but they're worth giving a shot.
Now, let's talk about the minor drawbacks. The sight is a 6-inch dovetail, so it might not work with all setups. But overall, the pros definitely outweigh the cons. The Father Double Pin sight is a reliable choice for anyone who's in the market for a durable, rugged, and efficient sight.

Buyer's Guide

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None

FAQ

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What are 45-degree iron sights?

45-degree iron sights refer to the angle at which the sights are positioned on firearms. Contrary to traditional iron sights with a more vertical angle of 90 degrees, 45-degree sights offer a different shooting experience by presenting a lower sight picture.

What are the benefits of using 45-degree iron sights?

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There are several advantages to using 45-degree iron sights:

• Faster target acquisition and smoother follow-up shots due to the lower sight picture
• Improved cheek weld and stability on the stock, leading to better accuracy and control
• The reduced weight on the user's face, which can alleviate discomfort during sustained shooting

Are 45-degree iron sights suitable for all types of firearms?

While 45-degree iron sights are popular among pistol shooters and some rifle enthusiasts, they may not be suitable for every type of firearm or shooting application. For example, some firearms may require after-market mounting solutions or adjustments to accommodate these sights.
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What are the main manufacturers of 45-degree iron sights?

Some of the prominent manufacturers include:

• Trijicon
• Nightforce Optics
• Leupold Optics
• SIG SAUER
• Warne Sightmounts

What are the differences between 45-degree and traditional iron sights?

The most striking difference between the two types of sights is their angle. While traditional iron sights have a vertical angle of 90 degrees, 45-degree sights feature a lower angle that sits closer to the cheek, offering a different shooting experience. This lower angle helps shooters acquire targets quicker and stabilize the firearm on their face more effectively.

How do I install 45-degree iron sights on my firearm?

The installation process for 45-degree iron sights can vary depending on the specific model and make of your firearm. It is generally recommended to consult your firearm's manual or seek assistance from a professional gunsmith to ensure that the installation is performed correctly and safely.

Are 45-degree iron sights interchangeable between different brands or models?

While some 45-degree iron sights may have similar dimensions or characteristics, it is essential to confirm compatibility before purchasing or attempting to use sights from a different brand or model. Be sure to consult the manufacturer's specifications and, if necessary, contact the manufacturer or a knowledgeable gunsmith for guidance.

Are there any maintenance requirements for 45-degree iron sights?

Regular cleaning and maintenance of your firearm are crucial, regardless of the type of sights you use. For 45-degree iron sights, it is essential to keep the sights free of dirt, debris, or corrosion-causing substances to ensure optimal performance and longevity.
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i (29f) fell in love with my roommate (25m) but he fell in love with someone else, and i can’t deal with it. what do i do?
Allright, so, i’ve been living in this newly set up community place for a little over a year now. People have come and gone over that year but but Walter, Marius and I have been living here all this time. The tree of us are (or maybe we’re) really close. For example, we would sleep over in my bed the three of us in the winter because it was warmer.
Ever since the beginning, i thought Marius was into me a little bit. At a certain point, he would join me every evening when i went for a little walk before going to sleep, he would give me weird hugs and he would get really nervous around me. but at the same time, he had a girlfriend who lived in the UK (we live in the netherlands) so i never thought he was actually hitting on me.
At some point not too long ago, we started getting even closer. his girlfriend was doing research in Singapore for 2 months and i noticed he would get closer and closer to me. he would message me all day, he would always sit next to me on the couch in the evening and put his hands on me in some way (which didn’t feel uncomfortable), he would even start holding my hand on the bike and asked to take pictures of me when i put makeup on (i never wear make up so it’s a big deal). i felt so strongly he was falling in love with me. even the way he said my name, give me a good night hug, stare at me for long times, etc etc.
i was starting to notice that i was falling for him. at one point we sat next to each other on the couch and looked eachother in the eye and i could just feel electricity going though my entire body. it made me really nervous. i don’t like falling for people, i hate to become that vulnerable. (i have quite a history with sexual assault and abusive relationships and i kind of had given up in some way. i’ve been in therapy since march for it, but i feel like things aren’t really changing) the whole situation just stessed me out. i mean, he is really sweet, and smart and funny, but it’s also stressful.
so, i decided to tell him. things went really bad from here. i told him i liked him and i had the idea he was also in to me. his reply was ‘i have no idea what you are talking about’… i was shocked. he became so awkward that he really tried to get out of the situation.
this made me pretty angry because i felt like we needed to talk about it and also, i could not understand how he would have been treating me like that without at least having a little crush on me.
i think he noticed that i was pretty irritated with him so two days later we talked, on his initiative. i told him i was super supprised and didn’t understand how i could have misread things so much. he just stuck to his ‘no, i don’t like you’ and after i got everything out, the convo ended.
ever since then, he kept following around another roommate, Natalie. he gave her all this attention and was clearly messaging her a lot and would even drunkenly talk about how chill he thought she was.
this made everything really weird and i didnt know how to deal with the situation. so i became pretty distant. fast forward 4 weeks later, our friendship still being very awkward but i try to mend the friendship again. suddenly, he breaks up with his girlfriend. and within 4 days he starts dating a mutual friend of ours (that i had a little crush on too). and they are no where near taking it slow, but she is constantly in our house. and when she is not in our house, he is at her place…
after i noticed it was going on, he tells me something is going on between them and we talked about it. it was a pretty nice conversation where i also told him how i didn’t like how our friendship seemed to decay, that he didn’t talk about things more or took initiative to talk about how he felt about the situation. he was really shocked though when i told him i was also a bit into her. while the conversation made me feel great, the days after didn’t. cause she is constantly here and they are being super cute together. constantly hugging and having little inside jokes and stuff.
i don’t know, it’s been really messy. i’ve been feeling really alone cause u miss being so close with someone, and i feel insecure cause he doesn’t expresss missing is friendship with me. i don’t like at all that he is together, at the place we live, constantly with his new partner (they seemed to have gotten married in the past week). i don’t know what to do. i also don’t know how to act towards her anymore so i’ve just been pretty sistan. i also feel a bit happy for them being so happy together and really fitting together well, but i feel really forgotten. i also feel like Marius and i have talked about it more than enough and that taking more might makes the situation even more awkward at this point. but i’ve been feeling so alone and insecure that my other relationships haven’t been feeling as meaningful as they usually have either. it’s really been fucking with my head, i think about it when i wake up and before i go to sleep. i am also not so sure what emotion it is exactly that i feel when i think about it or see them together, i’m not sure if it is jelousy or something else. but i hate it.
what do i do? how do i make the situation better? how can i regain the friendship we had or should i let go of that sunken ship? how do i feel better about myself and less alone? should i move (temporarily)? and if i do talk with him about how i miss being close friends, what should and shouldn’t i say? how do i rid myself of all these stupid emotions and just be a nice , supportive friend that wishes him well? hulp!!

i feel so alone i dont know what im doing in the world. i dont know what i can do anymore other than give up. im (20F) an only child, i have a bad relationship w my parents, we moved a lot throughout my childhood so i dont have any extended family where i live. most of my extended family arent good people anyway, all of my grandparents are divorced, theres a history of mental illness in our family and most of them have become bitter and taken it out on others. just negative, unsupportive people. my mom tries her best in her own way but shes extremely religious and homophobic (im bisexual and id say im spiritual but definitely not religious) and my dad is very strong minded about politics, he was a trump supporter and has very conservative views which i dont agree with at all. they dont even get along with eachother and i grew up w them screaming at eachother almost constantly my whole life.
my high school experience was ruined by covid and i lost the friend group that gave me a will to live bc i dated someone in it and when we broke up they all took his side (it’s a lot to explain but there was only 4 people in the group, the other guy only took his side bc of something along the lines of bro code, and my best friend took his side bc she had secretly liked him and ended up taking him from me). i already had trust issues but this is where it started to get worse. since then ive had so many friendships and relationships that i truly dont have the time to get into the details of, and i really dont want to come off as having a victim complex at all when i say this but i’ve been continuously done so wrong by people. im a very self aware person, ive grieved so much, ive looked for every fault in myself and blamed myself for so many things but at the end of the day i had nothing but good intentions for every single one of those people and i loved them and gave them everything i could.
i just feel so lost and alone now. i dont have a support system, no family, and my trust issues are so bad i dont think i’ll ever be able to feel secure in a relationship or even friendships again. im so tired of watching everyone except me experience genuine love platonically, romantically and from their family. when will it be my turn. if i marry a girl my parents will cut me off. i dont know if i even want to marry a man at this point bc i feel like every guy ive been with has used me for my body. my ex told me the only reason he liked me was bc im “hot and always dtf”. i never cry in front of people but i sobbed in his arms after hearing that bc it triggered something so deep in me.
i dont feel lovable. im tired of living and knowing that i will never truly be loved. i dont know what im doing wrong. im “conventially” attractive, dyed platinum blonde hair and green/hazel eyes, 5’1, not under or overweight. i have good style imo (for reference kinda maddy perez style, eyeliner mostly black and light blues and more on the feminine side). im very emotionally intelligent and strong bc of what ive been through and im loyal, im the type of person that if u have me u 100% can count on me and i will always be there no matter what. everytime ive been in a relationship i dont entertain or talk to other people at all. i hand make really personal gifts for people i love and am really intentional about buying things and will go all out and write long letters. i have a good aesthetic, im always clean and always smell good, im not overly friendly to people in a people pleasing way but i think im really sweet. i was really quiet for a long time bc my mental health issues made me feel unlovable (i have cptsd) but at my core im an extrovert and i feel like you can tell when i talk bc i do speak loudly and im very bubbly. i love being around people too and going out clubbing/to raves, drinking, sm0king. typical things that people consider extroverted ig. im also very artsy, music has been my passion since i was a toddler and ive made songs and tbh i have a lot of potential. i hate saying im good at music bc it makes me feel like one of those wannabe soundcloud rappers but i really am and ive made really pretty songs for someone who uses garageband. im good at artistic things in general.
i kinda suck at school but i feel like my mental health made academics take a backseat in my life a lot of the time and i wish i was better. im currently in college for psychology but i dont know how im ever supposed to help people when i can barely help myself. if im being honest psychology is not my passion at all, theres no college degree that i can see myself working as but psych suited me the best. i moved far away from my hometown for college to a popular tourist place but recently moved back bc it was expensive and couldnt see myself living there long term. i still have two years left, probably more bc im behind on classes.
i just feel lost. i feel like what’s the point of life if im not loved? i dont want all i ever do to be studying to get a degree for a job im not passionate about. when i think about how i wont have family or friends cheering for me at my graduation it makes me even less motivated. ideally i’d want to pursue music and start my own fashion business. ive heard enough about that being unrealistic and i understand, but at the same time im extremely creative and it would be possible for me to succeed at those things if i really put my all into it.
now that im back in my “hometown” my parents are planning to move again to somewhere cheaper w less taxes and its making me sad bc even though i hate this place my room in this house has always been my safe space. i painted things on the walls, put pictures up everywhere, my window opens to a roof i can sit on. i dont think id even be able to recreate this and if they moved i wouldnt want to recreate it anyway bc im 20 now so id rather work towards my own place. but even that is so unrealistic in this economy and i dont know if i can achieve it. college is not my thing and i have a horrible work ethic when it comes to anything but artistic things.
the conclusion i came to was to just ghost everyone and work on myself, (workout, make music, attempt to start a small clothing brand on insta/etsy) while taking online classes so if all that fails at least i have a degree. thats what i decided to come back home to do and ig it logically makes sense but i still feel so alone and unloved and im scared.
i dont know what type of answers im looking for in posting this, i just want to know what other people would do in my situation. thank you if you read this far, i appreciate you so much <3

my whatsapp agent was getting a lot of orders as soon as pandabuy got raided so i asked him to make a website and it's been in the works for almost a month now and last week the website was launched and i ordered a few items as a test just some chrome jewelry for cheap off taobao and the total came out to be 27$ including shipping it's 12$ for the first KG and 13$ for the rest, as soon as u send me 10$ on paypal i will give u the agents whatsapp number and the link to the website and if you’re familiar with panda buy i won’t need me to explain how it works but if you’re not i will explain the whole website to u from ordering to shipping, also before paying me if u don’t trust me which obviously most of u won’t, dm me and i’ll send pictures of the website and the agent sending it to me and a the agents number but blurred obviously lmao get on to this before anyone else!!! so u can have the fastest shipping time.
IGNORE TAGS!!!🏷️
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My roommate and I didn't know one another very well before moving in together, but I had that "good feeling" that things were just lining up for me, so when we started looking at moving into a house together, I was ecstatic. The idea was the her (let's call her Maggie) and I would move in ASAP and usher in a third roommate as soon as one of our many friends needed a place to move into. One of my friends was high on our list of considerations, but then they had a brief fling and Maggie eventually (once we had already been arguing over other issues) blew it out of proportion. It's interesting to note that, when we got the house, Maggie proposed the idea of throwing themed house parties in the basement with small local bands performing. These parties are very popular in our small college city. I had started a great deal of the legwork for planning our first one when Maggie left for a vacation. While packing her car, she left the backdoor wide open and wandered around the house, property, and even neighborhood while walking her dog. In the meantime, my cat made her way outside, and my roommate locked up and left town. When I got back I searched the neighborhood in tears devastated and sobbing, asking neighbors if they'd seen her. By sunset, she made her way back to the house and my roommate's flight landed shortly thereafter. All I got was a half-hearted "glad she's alright" kind of message. Additionally, Maggie had given the door code to our house to her boss who regularly makes OVERT sexual advances toward Maggie despite being in a monogamous relationship. When Maggie returns from vacation, she says nothing and continues carelessly leaving the backdoors open. I inform the landlord of the issue, confront her about the problem, and tell her not to use the backdoor until it's fixed (it doesn't stay latched shut unless locked at the time, and she never locks anything). Each of us very upset about all of this, our friendship is effectively ruined, and we had JUST started our lease. Now, if you recall the detail about wanting to use the house to throw parties, you'll recall that id already put one together. I even had a small band that was going to be touring through from Atlanta stop by. My roommate made efforts to sabotage the party, but seeing as there were no drugs or alcohol, and we were done by noise complaint hours, there was nothing she (OR the landlord's husband who showed up before the party and tried to shut it down) could do about it. The cops even cruised by in the dead middle of the party and didn't do anything. The landlord even did an inspection the next day and didn't find anything of interest except empty pizza boxes and soda cans. Cue my roommates boyfriend. Now, me personally, I am not fond of men and definitely not in my home. I am a lesbian and have a lot of trauma related to men; I have an eating disorder and find it almost impossible to eat when they're around. When they first meet, he won't even tell us his real name (so we'll call him by the fake one, John), and she basically all but moves him in without a second thought. Things are mostly quiet for a few weeks or months, but sometime around the end of summer I asked if my friend from before could get the final go ahead to move in, and Maggie told me that she wasn't comfortable with it anymore because of their fling and told my friend that JOHN wasn't comfortable with it. Later, Maggie proposes the idea of John moving in which I disagree with for reasons stated before, but she doesn't get the message and continues to let him live there and even asks me again if I'm not sure, to which my stern no was ignored. At this point, I reach out to the landlord who basically tries to tell me I SHOULD let John move in before I basically have to twist her arm into telling Maggie to follow the lease, which she proceeds to not do. Over the next eight-ish months, they cause damages all over the ground floor, constantly take up the kitchen and living spaces, and isolate me to my bedroom, a renovated attic. I never cook, lose weight, lose money to eating out, lose money to John who is living in my house rent and utility free, oftentimes while Maggie isn't even around, making noise gaming in the living room. I think it's also worth noting the context that Maggie makes much more money than me, has a car while I do not, and works right across the street while I work across town. I work for many more hours than her, but she fabricates her timesheets, so God knows how much she's making. She's constantly travelling and going to concerts, so she's making it work and then some. As move-out approaches, you can imagine my glee. I want to be freed of this terrible living situation and never speak to the person who put me in it again. We never got a third roommate (at least not a paying one), and I paid an absolutely OUTRAGEOUS amount of money for one person living in an attic with limited access to all the utilities and space they're paying for. But THEN the AC runs out of Freon. Because I've recently gotten a new number and my landlord didn't think to provide any notice besides firing off a text to an undeliverable number, I didn't hear about any of it. All I know is that one day I get up and it's 85°+ in my room, I have to leave for work, and there's no one who can come watch my cat in time. There's a note on the thermostat that says not to run the AC, but I realize I have to ignore it for my cat's safety while I go to work. I send a text to the landlord with my new number letting her know that if the repairman needs to be rescheduled I need to be notified so that someone can be with the animals while the air is off, and she threatens to pull the breaker over the phone and then again in a group chat with Maggie. The tenants that are moving in after me are already having issues with the landlord trying to charge them for their ESA, so she has already lawyered up which is why I think her next response to the affect of "we'll just have to wait for freon, I suggest you put a fan in your window" seemed much more coached. However, she didn't offer to install a window unit or even prorate the rent, and it's been over a week without AC. Anyways, that's getting ahead of myself. After this exchange, I send my mom over to monitor the situation, and she says the breaker was never pulled, but when I got home from work, the AC was off so I turned it back on. Maggie then fired off an angry text in the group chat about how I'm gonna blow the motor and "cost money" (as if it would cost either of us a dime). I tell her that I'm more worried about safety (I'm heat sensitive with a family history of epilepsy and my cat is 9 years old and doesn't breath super well) and that I'm basically gonna run the air when she goes to sleep anyway, so she goes out and RIPS THE THERMOSTAT OFF THE WALL and hides it from me. I ignore this AND the subsequent request for a utility payment of about $175. She has since been blowing my up about the utility bill and trying to confront me in person, all of which I have blatantly ignored. I got home from work last night and ignored her request, went upstairs to find she'd gone through everything outside of my room (my room is locked up when I'm not home) including my food-obsessed stash of vomit, moldy dishes, and rotten food, and taken all the perfectly good food and drinks out of the mini fridge she'd lent me and put them on the ground. She'd also attached a note about the utility bill to my door, which I calmly tossed downstairs before going into my room and going to bed for the night. Today, the note was reattached to the bottom of the staircase with a second note that said "court case will be filed with failure to pay." The way I see it, if she sues me, it's a FREE opportunity for me to countersue her. If I sued for John's portion of rent and utilities for the eight months he was blatantly living there ALONE, I'd already be at $3,500. If I asked for full rent for those eight months and nothing more I'd be at $7,000, $2,000 over the maximum amount I could actually win in small claims court. Thing is, I think she's bluffing. The court costs alone wouldn't be worth what she MIGHT win and definitely not worth the risk that she loses a countersuit. Do I tell her that, or let her find out her own way? Or (even though I very likely will not) do you think I should just pay the utilities?

here's my guide on how to make and keep friends
ok. i am in college (19f) and i think so far i have pretty much perfected making friends. FEEL FREE TO TELL ME if any of this sounds self-centered or egoistic. but these are just my experiences. i go to a pretty big school and i am the "leader" of my friend group (according to my friends!) and lots of people confide in me for their problems. i also am active on many roblox communities and many people will invite me to be a part of new groups and stuff that they plan to form, usually as a founding member. in high school i also had a pretty good amount of friends and i still keep in touch with many of them today. i have a very big interest in social psych, specifically regarding humor, so i'm always weirdly taking notes on my friends over silly little interpersonal things....

1. make connections with the people around you
2. so with this i feel like just finding similarities and ways to relate to people. this can be over an assignment in class, over an overarching event that's happening in the room, a clothing style, anything. and i mean ANYTHING. just be willing to recognize these connections and put them into words.
   
3. read the room
   
4. ok. a LOT of ppl fail on this one. literally just like... be self aware. take note of how the people around you are acting, their opinions on things, such and such. and no i'm not saying to be a sheep- but like just take note of your surroundings. dont be a debbie downer! setting a negative tone just makes ppl not rlly wanna be aroudn u, or generally just makes you bond over hatred, which is a little icky. Yea a little gossip can be fun but there gets a point where ur just shittalking. also - if someone is blatantly giving one word answers and not engaging in the convo? just drop it, theyre probs not interested. there's always more people you can find that will be more interested in what you have to say.
   
5. give people a chance
   
6. some people may give bad first impressions. we've all done it, slipped up on something we've said. if you just aren't clicking with someone, ok, alright, move on that's fine. but typically my method for approaching new friendships is just to gauge what kinda person they are. test out some witty jokes, see if they share your humor. ask about their interests and passions. sometimes people show a much brighter side of themselves just talking about what they love!
   
7. be open to confrontation
   
8. yea yea it's scary i knowww!!!! i use to have realll bad social anxiety myself and this one's always a tough nut to crack. if one of your friends is doing something that's been bothering you, or you're worried abt them, talk to them! this also helps you gauge whether they're compatible with you to even be good friends. when confronting someone abt something, always go into it with a neutral and caring tone. you're looking to mend the problem, not argue!!! don't let it get angry if you can!!!!! most things can be solved with a simple debate and/or compromise.
   
9. actively make plans
   
10. i loooove making plans. one hurdle i had to cross was just the fear of asking ppl to hang out. "what if they don't want to 🥺" Ok shut up then they'll say no. MOST people enjoy getting invited to things, and if they REALLY don't wanna, they can make up excuses. generally you can tell whether a person doesn't want to based on whether they make an attempt to reschedule or find a good time. if you feel like you're constantly asking if they're free, and they never are making that effort to find time, chances are they aren't interested....
    
11. be unique
    
12. yeah yeah we been hearing this our whole lives to just "be ourselves!!" but like... it's sooooo true. like. get hobbies!!! take a scroll on pinterest! figure out what makes you YOU!! people will find that COOL!!! and you'll find communities in that with people JUST LIKE YOU!!! this can be any sorts of hobbies- gaming, knitting, skating, writing fanfiction, studying, literally anything you enjoy there's defo a community for it somewhere 😋 and most communities are pretty welcoming to beginners of their certain skill set, so you can get help learning what you wanna learn! i recently started learning to skateboard and it's been tons of fun just getting help and learning the different tricks 😁
    

now i'm sure after all this theres defo stuff i've forgotten. and possibly got wrong. feel free to correct me or add on if you have better methods! hope this little guide helps someone ☺️
guys i dont use reddit often sorry if the formatting is weird. also this is a repost i think i did smth wrong the first time but im back 😘

This is gonna be really long, I’m so sorry! This is my first time posting, and I'm on mobile. I've never been so upset in my life, and I feel like I'm losing my mind. I just need to know that I’m not crazy and that my feelings are reasonable.
TLDR: Roommate let me think that we shared ownership of our cats. For the last 3 years I have done 99% of the work taking care of them, including cleaning their litter box EVERY SINGLE DAY, buying their cat carriers and flea collars, and taking them for months at a time with no contact from her. Now that it's time to move out, they are suddenly only “her” cats, and she says I don't have any claim over them. She admitted to not thinking about them or prioritizing them and relying on me to take care of them.
For context, me and my roommate have been living together for 4 years. We started off as roommates in a dorm, then in a 6 person apartment with our friends, and then we moved into a small 2 bedroom house together for our last 2 years of college. The first 2 years I was in college, I went home every weekend, and often missed important group things. My family lives about an hour and a half away, and wifi at home was not good enough for me to just do online school during covid. When we were in the 6 person apartment, my roommate’s friends asked us to babysit their 2 kittens during a long weekend, and then decided that they didn’t want them back. When I came back, I got to meet them, and all 6 of us agreed that they would be our cats and we would take care of them.
After the first week, it became apparent that me and my roommate were the only two taking care of them. We all chipped in to get them fixed, and they lived in our apartment for a year. I took them home over all school breaks. Me and my roommate lined up our house before the semester ended. That summer she studied abroad in France for 3 months. I took the cats home with me. During this time, she never reached out to me a single time. She never checked on the cats, or asked if I needed anything. The first time she mentioned the cats was when I brought them to our shared home that I deep cleaned before she moved in. After that, school started again, and we were both busy. They were OUR cats, so I cleaned their litter box every day, I bought their food and litter every week, and played with them every day. I bought them a water fountain because they didn’t like still water, I bought their flea collars and had a schedule to change them in my phone calendar, I gave them deworming medicine, and I bought both of their cat carriers, leashes, and harnesses. I also brought a cabinet that my grandpa made for the cats to put their litter box in so it was hidden in our small house.
For the next two years that we were in the house, anytime we were both gone for more than a week, I took the cats home with me. I cleaned the litter box every single day. I bought almost all of their food and litter. I know what foods they do and don’t like, and which ones hurt their tummies. Anytime I rearranged my room, I did it with the cats in mind. I make sure to maximize their window room, and anything that could hurt them/they can’t have, I put on shelves they can’t reach. The cats are not allowed in my roommates room. Sometimes if she is in her room they can go with her, but my room door is never shut. The cats slept with me almost every night, and I have hundreds of pictures on my phone with them on my face or curled up under the blankets with me. I leave my door cracked when I sleep so they can come and go as they please.
When I am gone for long weekends I check with my roommate to make sure that she will be home to take care of the cats, but when I come back, the litterbox is always full. We have two cats and one litter box, that’s why I clean it every day. The handful of times she bought them food or litter, it was the cheapest bulk item from Sams, and they don’t like that food. Sometimes the food would give them stomach issues and I would have to buy their regular food and replace it. The cats do not like fish, and they typically respond the best to sensitive stomach food.
Now, at the beginning of our last semester, she began making comments in front of me to the cats. She would say things like “Oh, you guys are gonna love (city that she is moving to after graduation)!”. I didn’t have the energy or emotional capacity to say anything when they first started, but I would wake up at night crying because I was so anxious and worried about losing the cats. In the past whenever other people asked us what was happening with the cats, she would look at me and say “We’ll figure it out closer to time.” I always thought this meant we would have a conversation about it, but I guess I’m just naive. Two weeks before the semester started, I lost one of my grandfathers. We were really close, and it hit me really hard. I was also taking 18 credit hours so I could graduate on time. This may not seem like a lot, but I am a STEM major at a rigorous school, and most people I know don’t take more than 14 credit hours at a time. I was also doing unpaid work to try and finish my thesis before graduation. On top of that, both of my childhood dogs died a few days apart in the first month of the semester. I have a necklace with their faces on them and wore them religiously. I am a pet lover, and I always have been.
After the semester ended, and we graduated, we still had our lease for 2-3 more months. I am very non confrontational, and we have never had a single argument or disagreement. This made me even more anxious about talking to her about the cats, so I wrote down a paragraph to read to her. I also made a spreadsheet documenting the receipts I had for the money I’ve spent on the cats. This only goes back about a year and a half due to accounts that I made and when the records start. This does not include the 3 months she was away or the year and a half before the receipts. It also doesn’t include places where I don’t have accounts. This number is only a fraction of what I have spent on the cats since we’ve had them. One night I sat her down, and asked her to hear me out. Here is the paragraph I read her:
“It hurts my feelings that you let me put so much time, energy, and money into the cats without saying something if you didn't consider me to be an owner too. You didn't even think I deserved a conversation about what's happening to the cats when we graduate, even though in the past you said we would figure it out when people asked. I feel like I at least deserve a conversation. I thought they were OUR cats, so I've been treating them that way. This has been keeping me awake at night and really stressing me out. I made a spreadsheet with receipts I have saved from the past 1-2 years from Kroger, Target, and amazon (limited by how far back the websites save my purchases/ when I started an account), not to mention the purchases that weren’t saved from places like publix, dollar general, and pet stores. I’ve spent over a thousand dollars of my money on the cats. I have a spreadsheet if you want the proof and to see where I spent the money. I also bought both of their cat carriers, all of their flea collars, and their deworming medicine. I keep track of when their flea collars need to be changed and when to buy new ones. I cleaned their litter box every single day until after me and (boyfriend) started dating, and even now I clean it every other day at least. I’ve watched the cats for months at a time on my own, and the longest I’ve ever been away from the cats is 9 days when I was in (location) for lab work. I feel like the cats know that I love them and do a lot to make sure they’re taken care of. If I knew that I wasn’t even considered one of their owners, then I wouldn’t have taken so much responsibility for them. It’s breaking my heart to think that I may not ever see them again, and if I knew that from the beginning, I never would have let myself get so attached or do the majority of the work to take care of them. I feel like I’ve been taken for granted, and I really don’t think it’s fair to me to not even discuss who should get the cats.”
When she responded, she gaslit me and tried to take credit for things she didn’t do. She said that if I thought they were shared, I should’ve asked her for help or reminded her to do things. She said she cleans their litterbox every other day, and I told her I know that's not true because I DO clean it every single day and I would notice if it were cleaner than normal. Also, the litterbox is full when I come home from 2 day trips. I told her that if she is an owner, she shouldn’t need reminders and she should know their needs and take care of them on her own. She then said that I just was more on top of it than her, and I told her that there were plenty of opportunities for her to step up and take care of them, but she never did. I gave her examples of when I did and did not tell her I wouldn’t be able to do something, and when I came home they were not done.
She said that if it's about money, she’d pay me half of the amount on the spreadsheet. I told her I don’t care about the money and that I would pay her 3 times what we’ve combined spent on the cats if it means I get to keep them. She has a much better paying job than me, but I love the cats and they are priceless to me.
She said that I didn’t have to do everything that I did, and I told her that if I didn’t the cats would’ve gone without. I told her that if I knew that I wasn’t at least partially their owner I would’ve set boundaries and I never would’ve taken on so much responsibility. I know how to prepare myself to not get attached, but she never gave me that chance. She said that I called them “my roommate's cats” and I told her that was not true. You can ask anyone that’s ever been to our house, not just my friends, but hers too, and no one has ever heard me say that. I ALWAYS call them “my cats, our cats, or mine and my roommate's cats.”
She then admitted that it wasn’t fai to me, and she shouldn’t have let me do so much work, but that they are still her cats and she is taking them. I felt like she was blaming me for being a good caretaker??? I asked her why she let me do so much work if they weren’t also my cats? She said that she had more responsibilities outside of the house than I do. I told her that’s irrelevant. I have things to do too, BUT I prioritize the cats. It doesn’t matter what is going on in our lives because the cats still need to be taken care of. They need immediate care and attention and you can’t just put off their care like you can other chores. I literally would leave campus in the afternoon to clean their litter box, give them clean water, and play with them for at least 30 minutes before going back to campus and working until 3 in the morning. If I went to stay the night with my boyfriend, I would tell him I couldn’t come over until I cleaned their litter box and played with them and fed and watered them. Friends of mine can vouch that I have left in the middle of things or came late or left early to make sure the cats were taken care of. She then admitted that she didn’t always pay attention to their needs because she knew that I would take care of them.
Then she said that she did more chores around the house and I know that’s not true. Everytime I clean the litter box I sweep AND vacuum the WHOLE house. Until the last semester, I was mopping once a week after vacuuming. Until the last semester, I did dishes more often and cleaned the bathroom more often. I took the trash cans to the curb every week because she had the day wrong that the garbage truck came. I may have been slacking on my dishes the last semester but its because I would rather take care of the cats than the dishes if I don’t have time for either. I didn’t have time, but I made time because I am responsible for the cats.
She said that she didn’t think one of us cared more about the cats than the other did. I was gifted a sweater with their faces on it, and I bought us matching shirts with their pictures on them. I asked her if she had any specific pictures she wanted on the shirts and she said “no, you definitely have more pictures of them than I do anyway.” She then brought up my dead dogs and how much I cared about them. She said my personality was just animal lover. I told her that even if that’s true, I know how to not get attached if I know the animal isn’t mine, and that I never would have done so much for them.
I then asked her what would happen when I’m gone, she can’t just not prioritize them. She said she bought a litter robot because she knows I won’t be there to clean the litter box every day. When I mentioned her study abroad trip and how she never once checked on them or even just when she would go on short trips, never worrying about them, she said she was just grateful to have someone taking such good care of them while she was gone. I told her that she never once told me thank you before now. I told her that if I knew they weren’t also mine, I would never have agreed to watch them over breaks because I would be too attached.
I asked her about their flea collars and other medicine and their food preferences, or when they have upset stomachs. She thought you just put a flea collar on once and leave it forever. She didn’t know they had worms. She knew the food she got them was one they didn’t like and hurt their stomachs. In the past, I went to 3 different stores to get their food that they like, but couldn’t find it and was complaining to her I had to get a kind that doesn’t hurt their tummies but that they’ll tolerate eating. She said “they’re cats, they won’t starve, it doesn’t really matter.” I’ve also been the only one to buy and give them wet food weekly. She said that it’s unfair to me and she should’ve communicated better, but that they are her cats and she’s still taking them. I told her I felt like she took advantage of me and she said “I don’t think I’ve taken advantage of you, I think I took you for granted.” By this point I was crying, and she started to cry, and told me I was her best friend and she loved me and didn’t want this to be an argument.
I am devastated. I thought we were friends, but friends don’t do this to each other. I have always been there for her, and I would drop everything to help her. Now I can’t even look at her. I sent her a text message after staying at my boyfriends for a few days:
“I don't want your money, I want the cats. I was willing to pay 3 times what we've both spent on the cats to keep them, and you offered less than half of what I've spent by myself on only essentials for the cats in the last year and a half. The money isn't what matters to me. I want the cats. I don't think you understand how much this hurts me. You've taken advantage of me for 3 years and we both know this isn't fair to me. Every day for the last 3 years you made the choice to let me take care of the cats. You let me clean their litter box every single day, buy their food and litter every week, and more.
When I went away for long weekends, I told you in advance to make sure you would be home to take care of the cats and every time I came home to a full litter box that was disgusting. The longest I've ever gone without seeing them is 9 days and I was worrying about them the whole time. When you were in France you never once checked on the cats or offered to buy their food and litter while I had them. The first time you've ever said thank you was when I sat you down and talked to you about why I feel like I should take the cats. That was really shitty on your part and I never would've taken on so much responsibility for them if I knew they were only “your” cats.
You said I call them “my roommate’s cats,” but we both know that's not true and I've never once referred to them as yours. I have always called them ours. I've prioritized the cats' health and happiness and sacrificed a lot of my time, money, and opportunities to take care of them.
Our responsibilities outside of the house are irrelevant, you should have been paying attention to their needs if they were “your” cats. Even when I didn't have time to come home, I made the time to check on them. I would come home in between assignments to play with them and clean their litter box then go back to campus until 3 in the morning to finish my work. I cared about them, so I made the time to take care of them. If you are really their owner you shouldn't need me to remind you to take care of “your” cats. You wouldn't need me to clean their litter box every day. You would know what their favorite foods are and which foods hurt their tummies. You should know and be able to anticipate the needs of “your” cats if you are their owner. You would know that they had worms and needed deworming medicine. You would know that flea collars need to be changed regularly, and when to buy new ones to replace them.
We both know that if the cats needed something, it wouldn't get done unless I did it. The cats aren't like other chores and they need immediate care and attention. You can’t just put it off. If the last 3 years are a reflection of how you take care of “your” cats, then my heart is breaking for them. If you take them, we are no longer friends and I will never forgive you. I hope you start actually taking care of them and treating them the way they deserve. Don't ever talk to me again unless you're giving me the cats. If they turn out to be too much I'll always be happy to take them back.”
She responded with this:
“I know there is nothing I can say to apologize for the way you feel because of me, but I am truly sorry. I can see that whether you or I have the cats, we are no longer friends. This hurts me to my core since you have been my only best friend for the last 4 years. This doesn’t excuse my actions and it honestly makes them worse.
Since we can’t be friends I want you to at least know that the cats are being taken care of. I have committed to being a better owner (far too late unfortunately for us).
As far as the money goes I don’t care that you don’t want it back. I will be paying you the full price on the spreadsheet regardless of how it gets to you because it’s fucked up for me to abuse you like that.
I will be moving out on May 29. I’ll be in contact with (landlord) and my half of rent will continue to be paid. I’m so sorry that this is the end of our friendship. Never in a million years would I think to be losing a friend like you, but I guess I should’ve realized what I had before I lost it. I understand that you never want to speak to me again, but if you ever need anything you can always reach me.
Please know I really do love you and I’m sorry again. I don’t expect you to forgive me but I don’t want you to worry about the cats. I’ll do everything I can for them to live their absolute best life as you would have them.”
I think that what she did was intentional. If she knew she was going to take the cats all along, why did she never tell me or stop me from taking care of them? I really feel like she knew she could just use me. She said during our conversation that she didn’t expect to talk about this, and she looked shocked that I brought it up at all. In the past she’s admitted that she’s good at manipulating people but she chooses not to. I know her really well, considering we’ve lived together for 4 years now. Her apologies didn’t seem sincere to me, it felt like she was just trying to brush everything under the rug and make me stop crying because she was uncomfortable.
I can’t go home, every time I’ve tried, I start spiraling. I can’t stop crying. I don’t even want to go into the house when she’s gone. This is the longest I’ve ever been away from them. I feel so awful. I really wish I recorded our conversation because now I’ve been considering taking her to civil court for custody. Am I overreacting? I know I’m being dramatic, but I feel like I’m losing my mind. They’re my babies, and I feel like I’m abandoning them. Typically I’m a doormat but this is where I draw the line. What do I do now?