I Accepted a Job to Film on the Dark Web
Man, I am pumped to tell you chronically online content addicts my story. Wait is that too mean of an intro? Will this get taken down for harassment since I painted too accurate a picture of the people on this site? Sorry, everyone, I’m sure you all smell like an expensive bakery and have touched grass this morning. Anyway, I promise I have something interesting. It even involves the dark web you uncreative writers cream yourselves over! I mean, totally real people speaking about their strangely similar experiences. Okay, fine I’ll stop bullying you through the screen before you click off.
This all started when I was seven years old and my parents were killed in front of me in an anti-indigenous hate crime, but let's be real you don’t care. I’m just some annoying Cherokee kid with dead parents so I’ll skip to the good parts. I spent years in an orphanage, gradually becoming more interested in death and violence. As bad as it is, I went out of my way to expose myself to that content in the hopes of desensitizing myself. Which ended up working too well, since now I’m obsessed with causing and viewing pain, though I don’t find any joy in hurting myself.
I got adopted at twelve and after a few months of staying at my new family’s home on the reservation, I went with them to a state sweatier than the average Reddit user, California. Long story short, both of my caretakers, whom I referred to as Uncle and Auntie because they could never be my parents, died. Leaving me in the care of their older son, who I call cousin. I’m not stupid enough to give up any real names, so I’ll call him Brick, cause he’s as dumb as one. He was in his early 20s when he was tasked with taking care of me and is the world’s worst excuse for a babysitter.
I’m almost always alone at the apartment, with him only coming by to drop off supplies and stay for a few hours so the neighbors don’t get too worried. Unless I get in trouble at school, then he’d suddenly give a shit. It's useful because he doesn't about the gory stuff I look at, but some display of interest would be nice. Oh well, ninety percent of the population sucks so he’s just part of the majority. Now, with that said, you’ll be able to understand the perfect storm that led me here. During my time on the deep web, I found a particular website that caught my eye. They had new footage relatively consistently and they were the easiest for me to access since I didn't go too far into the dark web, especially with all the honey pots lying around.
I even bought a couple of files for myself to study and admire. One thing irritated me though, the cameraman. He was always sobbing, breathing, shaking, or some combination of those. It seriously killed the vibe of the killings. Something I commented on under many videos, often saying I would do a better job filming. A choice that in hindsight was me asking to end up in one of those recordings. I didn't think anything of it at the time. I was mostly the only one who commented but I was sure they wouldn't care. I was embarrassingly wrong.
I was staying up like usual, but it was past one AM on a school night, and back then that was a lot so I tried to sleep. Closing my eyes, tossing and turning, the works. I had just started drifting off when I heard the front door open. I remained calm but immediately found it weird since Brick never showed up this late. The thuds of the individual's feet grew louder as they got closer to my bedroom. I tried to convince myself it wasn't a stranger, especially since they got in with ease, but I knew that was wishful thinking.
They hummed as they opened my door. My dumbass had left it unlocked. I remained on my side, trying to look like I was asleep. They turned on the flashlight of their phone, shining it in my face. It was hard but I stayed still while they traced it over my features. I could tell they were smiling as they clicked their tongue.
“Heh, I knew it was a brat,” they whispered to themselves, pulling tangles out of my hair. Something I struggled not to groan from. They pulled up the hair over my ear and got so close spit got on my ear lobe.
“I know you’re awake kid,” they murmured, putting a blade to my neck. I let them grab my shoulder and move me onto my back, I knew how to fight but I wasn't about to take that big a risk with the position they had me in.
“You think you’re so cool saying you can do better than our guy.” they snickered, kneeling, their flashlight still shining in my face.
“Do you seriously believe that?” they questioned, moving the light away.
“Yeah, I do.” I stood my ground, they might have been intimidating but I wasn't gonna let that stop me from being honest.
“I wouldn't sound like I’m gonna piss myself every time it gets gory. I’m confident I could get better footage too, getting up close is something I’ve fantasized about.”
They clicked their tongue again and ran their finger over the bridge of my nose.
”Well, I know you’re a big fan of what we do, and you’re confidence makes me think you got something to back those claims up, so how’d you like a deal?”
I was surprised by how civil they were being aside from the touching and weapon against my throat.
“What kind of deal?” I asked, for all I knew this guy wanted me to lick their feet or some weird shit like that. They placed a finger underneath my eye, tracing a half moon with their nail.
“You have till this Friday to film a video of you killing an animal and put it on a flash drive that I’ll pick up here. If it impresses me and the crew we’ll hire ya with a handsome salary.” They began, moving their hand down to my cheek.
“But if you don't show, or it doesn't meet our standards, then I’m fucking up one of the parts of your face.” They warned, pinching my skin harshly.
“And if I say no to this deal?”
They put their hand over my mouth, scratching my lips.
“That’s cute, if you say no I’ll just slit your throat.” they grinned.
“Or rip it open with my teeth if you got a preference,” they smirked, before running their tongue across their sharp teeth.
“Okay, since I have no choice I’ll go with it, but I’m telling you now I can give you something way better than what you likely expect of me.” I prefaced, looking into their sunken eyes. They scratched my scalp, including the side of my head that was shaved.
“Good choice, I’ll be back to pick it up and if you're not here I’ll assume you don’t have the video. I genuinely wish you luck, because you’ll need it.” they removed the blade from my neck and walked away. I sat still for a few minutes in the dark, processing what had happened and wondering how they got into my apartment with such ease. I was confident I could blow their sniveling excuse of a cameraman out of the water, but I was worried about the people I was getting caught up with.
Sure, I had been on a lot of gore sites over the years but I was always just watching and occasionally commenting. Compared to most in the scene I wasn't much of a threat. I could defend myself and have contemplated killing for years but I hadn't murdered anyone or worse. Plus, I am part of way too many targeted groups to not be constantly at risk. Teenage, fem-leaning, two-spirit, indigenous kid with trauma? Yeah, I might as well be walking sign screaming “Hate crime me”.
So yeah, there was a lot to worry about. Regardless, I couldn't let that fear hold me back. I had a job to do and a group of sickos to appease. The next morning was rough, I got no sleep cause I’d spent all night brainstorming. I barely mustered the energy to change and drank straight mouthwash instead of brushing my teeth. Slogging onto the bus with drool on my cheek, I went to the back like usual. No one sat there cause, the seats were extra worn down, and I scared off anyone who attempted to with my active, rabies-infected bitch face. That day was different though.
I blanked on his name and where I knew him from, but I recognized his wavy hair and prominent curved nose. He glanced at each seat on the bus, before somehow settling on my area. He tried to give me space but ultimately seated himself beside me after realizing it was the only spot that didn't look like it would give him cancer. I glared at him as I did with everyone, but it didn't phase him.
“You know you could pick anywhere else right?” I murmured. He stared at the floor, then at me.
“I’m aware, but a few months ago I started a mission to sit on every part of this bus, and this is the last place.” he smiled, his lips softly curving at the sides.
“What’s the point of that?”
His mouth moved into a more neutral position, but his eyes kept smiling.
“I just thought it would be neat to see the same place from a bunch of different perspectives.” he took out his phone and snapped a photo from the point of view where he was sitting. Maybe my sleepiness made my bitch face less effective, cause he hadn't shown a hint of fear, which kind of annoyed me.
“That’s cool I guess, but I wouldn't do that if I were you. I’ve done some back here alone that would make your skin crawl.” in hindsight my attempt at unnerving him just made me sound like a pervert, which is probably why he held back laughter. Trying to hide a chuckle by clearing his throat.
“Hey, it's not my business what you do, no matter how Haram it is. It’s your life so that’s between you and whatever you believe in. Just don’t shake hands with me.” he joked, playfully putting his hands up. Strangely, I remembered his name at that moment.
“Oh shit, you’re Abdul! We have art together.” I sat up, haphazardly slamming my hand down on my leg.
“Uh yeah, I’ve seen some of your paintings, they’re pretty cool. I like the way you texture them, I’m trying to work on that.” he complimented, seeming more weirded out by my sudden energy than my accidental insinuation. I felt a little stupid for yelling his name but decided not to dwell on it.
“Thanks, you’re stuff is nice, and you’re good at shading.”
He stretched his arms while thanking me. We talked for a few more minutes, taking jabs at each other throughout. Turns out he was better at being an asshole than his artsy charismatic appearance made me think. The thing setting our insults apart being that you could tell he was a loving person underneath. It was the nicest conversation I had with anyone in a while. Though he could tell I was tired so he quieted down, letting me sleep, waking me when we got to school. We went our separate ways until the last two periods we shared. All that time, I spent my remaining energy plotting how I was going to handle the video. What I’d kill, record with, and how to dispose of the evidence. It was a lot to consider, but through three classes I devised a plan.
I’d find a stray around my apartment complex and take it out in my room. Record it on a portable camera since I broke the ones on my phone, no, I will not be answering how that happened. Then once I had my footage I’d put the body in a trash bag, throw it in the complex’s garbage, and clean the blood off my floor. It didn't seem like Brick would come by so he wasn't a factor I thought I’d have to consider. The plan was almost too easy, but I decided to believe in Occam’s razor. I got so lost in thought that by the time I reached Art, which was my second-to-last period, I didn't process that we were moving seats.
“She called your name,” Abdul reminded me. Our teacher placed us next to each other at our four-person table. The two girls sitting with us were already friends, so I didn't bother to say anything, but I was interested in talking to him more.
“So, what do you think of this assignment?” He shrugged, taking out his sketchbook.
“I’m not that good at drawing people, but the idea of combining two people’s faces into a portrait seems interesting. Any ideas on who you’ll pick?”
“Probably the members of the music duo Brain Tumor, they’re my favorite artists and they both look weird as hell.”
“Wow way to talk about your favorites, if that’s what you say about them I can‘t imagine what you have to say about me.” he joked, pulling up reference pictures.
“First, it’s not an insult, second I don’t have anything to say about you. Brain and Tumor have features and styles that make them stand out. Sure they’re ugly, but it just adds to their visual charm. Hot people are boring, there’s nothing to pick at.” I explained, unzipping my bag.
“Oh, so you’re saying you think I’m hot.”
His comment wasn’t serious but it kind of got to me.
“Shit, that’s not what I meant, I was trying to say you’re boring. All hot people are boring, but not all boring people are hot, okay?” I explained, flipping to a clean page.
“Alright, but if I’m so bland then why talk to me?”
I hesitated, contemplating how much of a dick I was gonna be.
“Because it means you probably need some spice in your life, which I can provide.”
He began sketching a head on his paper.
“I like spices, but I feel like you’re the kind of person to dump a cabinet’s worth onto me.”
I flicked my pencil over to his side of the desk, putting on a mocking grin.
“Aww, you scared I’m gonna get you into trouble?”
He picked up the pencil and started using it, putting his on my side.
“No, ‘cause I’m good at setting boundaries. I’m more concerned that you’ll get annoyed with how unafraid of you I am.”
I stared at him for a moment, I hadn't expected to hear that.
“Jeez, man you didn't have to read me like that.”
He shrugged, observing the red paint from past projects that lay on my pencil.
“It's not hard to figure out, just this morning you were trying to push me away on the bus. Lucky, or unlucky, for you I want you to have a friend and you seem like a fun person.”
“Wait are you saying I have no friends?” I squinted at him.
“Well, do you?”
I didn't answer.
“If your response is silence I suggest you take up my offer.”
I was stunned, to be honest. No one had offered to be my friend since 6th grade, and that didn't last long. Of course, I accepted it, but for the rest of the period, there was an awkwardness in my mind. As pathetic as it sounds I wasn't used to others genuinely enjoying my company like he did. Which was partly by design cause I get joy out of scaring people away, but still. I forgot how it felt to have conversations about normal things like art. He had such a nice smile too, usually when I see a grin I want to slap it off, but I liked his. His voice was also nice, it’s hard to describe what in particular but it was easy on the ears.
Okay, I’m starting to get off-topic. I’ll skip to the important part. Toward the end of class, he started talking about how he was interested in filmmaking and got a portable video camera as a gift at last year’s Eid. He didn't have it on him, but he showed me a picture.
“Heh, that’s funny, I bought the same one a month ago.” I pointed out.
“Yeah, it's a popular model, I’m still getting the hang of it though cause I’m so used to using my phone.”
“Well, maybe I could bring you over to my place or vice versa after school and I can help you out.” I suggested.
He smiled, putting his phone back in his pocket.
“I thought you said you’ve only had it for a month? You know I can always look up tutorials from trained professionals.” he reminded me with a notable smugness that I'd used with him before.
“Well those guys are stuffy and I’m a fast learner.”
He redirected his attention back to his page, picking his pencil up.
“Alright, I suggest we go somewhere public instead. You’re not exactly the kind of person I want to bring home to my parents right away. Plus they always need to meet my friends and their guardians before I hang out at their home.”
I gave an exaggerated sigh, stretching my back.
“Aw man, looks like we can’t get high in my murder pit during our first hangout.”
He didn't respond for a solid few seconds.
“Wait, you do know I'm joking right?”
He shrugged, the smile in his eyes appearing again.
“I mean, one of those things is a little less believable than the other.” he snickered, and I laughed with him.
We set up a time and a date, which is where I screwed myself. He ended up being busy with projects from his other classes and family which just left us with Friday, the same day I had to submit the video. Now, did I tell him I wouldn't be able to make it? No, of course not, because I decided to be stupid and even more overconfident. I said that I’d one hundred percent be able to hang out with him after school like I didn't have a mutilator who was going to drop by my place at an unknown time.
The rest of the day went over fine but that bad timing led me to feel like a dick later. When I got home I was able to write out my plan, even sketching a few specifics of what I’d do. It was more exciting than when I’d been brainstorming, but this is when the gravity of the situation began to set in. When I said I’d fantasized about killings I meant it. I mean my teddy with twenty-five stab wounds should say enough. Regardless this would be the first time real blood was on my hands.
It made me feel powerful, but a little afraid. I’ve heard stories of people thinking that it would be an awesome experience and then feeling like shit. I doubted I’d be one of those people but still. Plus, I didn't exactly trust the guy who gave me this job. There was a good chance that this whole situation was rigged and they’d kill me no matter how good the video was. Or worse turn me into the feds and expose my collection. Honestly, if that happened I’d probably eat a shot to avoid going to jail. Wait, can I say that on this platform? Okay to the mods, that was a joke, I want to live a long life. Ugh, I’m doing a terrible job of staying on track. The point is there was a lot up in the air despite it being a matter of life or death.
I knew I’d go through with it but it was still a lot less straightforward than it initially seemed. I wracked my brain to remember where most of the cats stayed and tried to come up with a good way to lure one without raising suspicion. This also proved harder than first thought because I didn't think to account for the cat man, an old guy who lived alone and fed all the cats in our dingy complex while also housing a few. Knowing how obsessive he was he’d probably notice if one of them disappeared. Then again not all the cats return consistently or at all. It makes more sense that he’d think one of them was run over rather than slaughtered. It was getting late again so I rested my head for a moment, a bad move cause I ended up falling asleep at my desk. Not even changing out of the clothes I’d worn before, I woke up late and barely caught the bus the next morning.
I went to my usual spot but Abdul had already taken it. He patted the area next to it, which he’d covered in a towel, a smart move knowing how nasty it was. People gave me a few dirty looks as normal, which I smiled at. I stretched, my mind slightly less out of it than the previous morning.
“Uh, you do realize that-”
“Yeah, I know I’m wearing the same clothes.”
Abdul looked me up and down, his eyes remaining soft, but with a mix of concern and judgment. He set his backpack down and took off his sweater handing it to me.
“Dude what are you-”
“Look I don't know what led to you not being able to change but I think you should at least have a fresh top.”
I was surprised he was offering me something to wear but I took it.
“Uh, thanks, I’ll change into it later.”
He nodded as I put it in my backpack.
“You know you didn't have to do that.” I reminded him.
“Well there’s a lot of stuff I don’t have to do, but I do it because I want to, and I wanted to help you out.”
He smiled, his face still warmer than an Arizona summer. I got a strange feeling in my chest at that moment, I still can’t tell if it was good or bad.
“Well, thanks, I'll give it back to you tomorrow.”
We talked a little more and he mentioned something that caught my attention.
“Have you heard about all the animals that have been turning up dead?”
My eyes widened with surprise.
“No, I haven't, when did you hear about that?”
He pulled on his long-sleeve shirt.
“My sister said her friend who works at a shelter noticed a bunch of animals were getting adopted by people around the same time, and since then gore videos with them have been showing up. She found out through her co-worker who was emailed it by some random creep.”
I covered my mouth and looked away to hide the smile growing on my face. He had just given me the perfect cover-up without knowing. Now if I killed an animal people had an entire violent ring to connect it to instead of me! I stayed quiet for a minute because I could tell he’d likely see through any phony sad sounds I made.
“Oh wow, that’s awful, do you think they’ll ever find out the people behind it?”
He sighed, running his hand through his wavy hair.
“I hope so, for now, all we can do is pray that no more animals get hurt.”
I couldn't contain my grin as he said that so sincerely like animals and people didn't die constantly and that taking down one group would somehow stop the issue.
“Is there some joke I don’t get?” he furrowed his brow.
“Uh, no, sorry I smile when nervous.”
His gaze softened again, and he didn't press further.
His bringing up the animal killings ended up being the exact push I needed to get my hands dirty. I’d spent the entire day before planning so it was time to put that plan into action. I stole some cat treats that the cat man had laid out and spread them around my apartment which was on the bottom floor. Waiting for one of them to take the bate outside my window was pretty boring but one of them came after a few minutes. A scraggly brown and black cat with a tuft of fur missing on one side of his head. It's messed up but I felt like a little less of an asshole for taking him in since he looked like he was already struggling. I scooped him up and he didn't attempt to fight back.
“Hey there buddy” I waved, feeding him some more food. His eyes had a lot of crust on them, it was kinda gross but I don’t have the right to say with how often I wash my jeans. After a minute or two he let me pet him. I knew making any kind of attachment was bad but I thought it was the right thing to do so he’d fall into a sense of security. I was just about to take him into my room when the door opened.
“Hey, I’m back with groceries!” my shithead cousin announced with two plastic bags in his hands. He looked down to see me with the cat, his eyebrows raising.
“Aw come on, you know we can’t afford a pet.”
He groaned placing the bags on a table and unloading them.
“I know, but he doesn't look like he’s got a lot of life in him I at least want to help him feel better before he kicks the bucket!”
Brick rolled his eyes, putting the cereal box on top of the fridge
“Jeez, did you even think about what diseases he might have? His eyes look puffy what if he has something that can get you sick?”
He had valid concerns which was surprising since he’s usually stupid, but I was still annoyed with him.
“I’m sure he’s fine, I’ll even try to wash him, just please let me hold onto him for a little.”
He folded his arms looking down at us.
“Have you even named him?”
I froze for a second, before using the first thing that came to mind, which ended up being pretty awful knowing my plans.
“Cash cow.” I blurted, awkwardly patting his head.
“Honestly that’s better than what I was expecting. I was sure you’d pick ‘Hellspawn Mcgee’ or something else corny.”
He meant to make fun of me but honestly, I would have named him that if I had more time.
“Ugh, anyway I got those dumb chips you like.”
He then pulled out a bag of the wrong chips.
“Dude those are the wrong ones, this is the third time you’ve mixed up the flavors.”
He threw them at me, scaring the cat slightly.
“Well, I pay for it so you shouldn't be so picky. Anyway, while I was in line I picked up something you might be into.”
He then tossed me a trashy teen magazine. One of my least favorite sorry excuses for an influencer on the cover.
“This is a joke, right?”
I couldn't believe my own adopted brother gave such little shit in my interests.
“I don't know, you decided to start being a girl for real this time so I thought the makeup tips on page ten would help you out.”
I scrunched my face at his comment.
“Dude I’ve been this way for years, just because I started wearing more makeup and dresses doesn't mean I’m more of a girl than when I didn't. I know you won’t get the two-spirit thing but come on.”
He shrugged, seeing me done with me even though he’d just shown up.
“Yeah well hey I’m trying. Anyway, just so you know a friend of mine is coming here Friday.”
My heart stopped.
“Wait why here? You live elsewhere why can’t you assholes go there or their place!”
He slammed his fist on the table.
“Will you shut the fuck up!”
He screamed with a phrase I’d grown numb to.
“I don't know, to be honest, something about wanting to move into this complex and this being a way to scout it out. I’m just letting you know now so you don’t act like a complete freak.”
“Jokes on you I’ll piss in whatever shitty beer you bring just cause you said that!”
I yelled back raising my voice higher than his. He face-palmed before putting the plastic bags in the drawer under the sink.
“Whatever, you and your ketamine-addict-looking cat have fun,” he told me while seating himself on the couch. I picked up the cat and walked into the bathroom to clean it. I closed the door and placed him in the dry tub. Using a small disposable mouthwash cup I got a little bit of water. I hadn't had a pet before so I wasn't sure how to approach the task. I dipped my fingers in the water and carefully pet it while pouring s small bit down his back. Any other cat would fight back but he just made pissed-off noises without doing anything.
I scrapped my old shampoo bottle and kneaded it into his thin fur. His skin was bumpy and dry beneath the hair so scrubbing it was uncomfortable. I made sure to avoid getting soap in its eyes but I did pull away some of the crust on its lids. His pupils were so clouded I was surprised that he could see at all, making me feel even more sure that he would be on its way out with or without me.
After drying him I set him on a beat-up shirt I wore when modifying clothes. He sunk his claws into it a few times, playing with a loose string. I ignored him for the rest of the night, hopping into the shower and changing for bed. His meows woke me up a few times but I tuned it out after a while, reminding myself that he wouldn’t be my cat for long.
The next day was Thursday and there wasn't a second that passed by where the weight of the murder I’d have to commit didn't weigh on me. I seriously shot myself in the foot by taking care of that scruffy, pubic hair pile. I was supposed to be hyped about killing it, after all, I’d dreamed and seen way worse than what I was going to do. Yet once I got home and started setting up I felt grosser with each step. I decided to record it in my bathroom instead of my bedroom so it would be harder to connect to me. I set down a few fabric scraps and a worn-out beach towel, placing it all inside a tub for easier cleanup later.
“Okay, I guess it's time,” I mumbled to myself. I brought the cat in and placed it down, setting up my camera once it was comfortable. I also wore my most generic clothes in addition to a mask, putting my hair in a bun for sanitation. When I saw the flicker of red showing that the camera was on I felt I was dreaming. I smiled, excited that I’d get to live out my violent desires. Yet, when I looked down at its pathetic frame and confused expression those urges left me.
I rationalized what I was doing, reminding myself how many animals die all the time and that I’d been forced into this, but it didn't help much in the end. I won’t get into it but under the pressure of impressing the group Cash Cow didn't go out as fast as I would have liked for a first task. Getting rid of the evidence was especially rough, the textures were pretty nasty, to put it mildly. It was surreal watching the blood go down the tub drain and gradually drip off my hands as I rinsed them. I couldn't conjure a single thought the entire time I cleaned it up.
Whether I was wringing out the clothes or putting the remains in plastic bags, it didn't matter. All I could focus on was the task at hand, with hints of disgust along the way. I ended up finishing at three AM. My hands were wrinkled and shook once I settled. I won’t deny that during the murder I didn't hate it. Slashing into something was fun and it made me feel strong. Still, it wasn't nearly as fulfilling as I expected it to be. Part of it was guilt, but it was mostly disappointment. I’d built it up for years and it wasn't earth shatteringly good or bad.
Overall, I expected to feel more, but it just left me hollow with an uncomfortable itch. There was no way I’d ever be able to see the tub the same way, hell I don’t think I’ll ever use it again. Luckily I almost always shower anyway so it's not too big of a deal. I watched a few horror game videos, trashed everything, changed and went to bed.
My scalp hurt like a bitch the morning since I kept my hair in that stupid bun. Despite getting less sleep than the past two days I held myself together a bit better in the morning. I brushed my teeth, changed, and had some fried bread before getting on the bus. Regardless I looked like complete shit and struggled to slump into my seat.
“Rough night?” Abdul asked
“Uh, yeah.” I quietly responded looking to the floor.
He frowned, looking at me with concern.
“You can talk about it if you're comfortable,” he assured me. I contemplated giving him a thinly veiled metaphor or vague explanation so he'd comfort me but stopped myself before my mouth could run a muck. He wouldn't be able to do much of anything and I don’t like opening up.
“Uhm, thanks but it's something I have to deal with alone.”
He nodded, respecting my boundaries.
“You know, I understand if you can’t hang out today it seems like you have a lot going on.”
I avoided eye contact with him as he spoke. For once I was feeling hints of guilt toward a person. I wanted to spend time with him, but I knew that I wasn't in the state to do that.
“Yeah, I think it’ll have to wait, I’m-” I cut myself off before apologizing. A fact about me that should surprise no one is that I hate apologizing. Even when I do feel kinda bad the act fills me with embarrassment.
“You what?” he asked, his eyes telling me that he knew what I was going to say.
“I’m emotionally not great.” I spat out in an admittedly poor attempt to get out of saying sorry. As always he remained calm but I could tell he saw through me.
“Okay, like I said I understand, whatever it is I hope you feel better.”
I told him thank you and we didn't speak for the rest of the day. At home I changed into more comfortable clothes and brushed my teeth. Unfortunately, I wasn't bouncing back from killing nearly as much as I expected.
“It wasn't even that bad! That thing was on its last legs anyway.” I grumbled to myself, smacking my forehead. I was feeling worse than when I did it which is weird. I ended up spontaneously decorating a ratty tie from the bottom of an accessory drawer to distract myself. It helped me get my mind off things, for a little. I had zero plan, just wanting to make something needlessly complex. Hours that felt like minutes passed and soon it was covered in patches, frills, and beads. I just tried it on when I heard the front door open.
“Man, that shit was wild!” I heard Brick laugh groggily. I didn't have to see or smell him to know he’d gotten lit. I rolled my eyes, closing my bedroom door.
“Hey, who’s there?” his friend asked, seemingly referring to me.
“Oh, that’s my little sis, don’t mind her she’s just on her emo shit!” he joked, which pissed me off for the petty reason that I didn't even listen or dress emo.
“Hey, that’s alright with me, I went through one of those phases,” they responded, their words less slurred than my cousin’s.
I fucked up and forgot to lock it when I closed it so they were able to swing it open, almost smacking my desk.
“Hey emo girl!” they waved as Brick haphazardly pulled them back.
“Okay, man, seriously I think she wants to be left alone.”
The way his friend looked at me made me uncomfortable. Like they’d snap my neck if I pissed them off. They clicked their tongue while stepping through the door frame.
“Alright, but I gotta say calling her an emo is inaccurate, they look like they watch gore and most emos just say they do.” they flashed a sharp toothy grin. At that moment I began to connect the dots.
“Easy, she’ll get pissy with you dude, now come on.” Brick warned tugging their opened button pushed him away. They looked me dead in the eyes.
“I don’t think she minds, in truth, I feel like we’ll have a lot to discuss later.” they smiled again, finally walking back into the living room. A chill ran up my spine when I saw them. The sharp teeth, New York accent, unsettling gaze, that motherfucker was the person who recruited me! They were able to get into my place so easily cause my dumbass cousin probably gave them a spare key or the opportunity to make one, and now they were a room away from me!
I dug my hands into my pillow as I contemplated what to do, no matter what happened next, I knew it was gonna be a rough visit.

For those who may be interested in things going on in the local community, the Sweet Home Central School District (which includes UB’s North Campus and many of the nearby apartments) will be having it’s annual school board elections this Tuesday, May 21st.
Voting can be done any time between 7am and 9pm, in the community room of Sweet Home Highschool, on the corner of Sweet Home and Skinnersville Roads.
For information on the elections, here are some links to some sources:
Elections Page on School Website: https://www.sweethomeschools.org/Page/1331
Budget and Candidates Magazine: https://www.sweethomeschools.org/cms/lib/NY50000724/Centricity/Domain/29/FINAL%20Budget%20SH%20Source%20Issue%2002%20May%2024.pdf
Video of Meet the Candidates Night: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3wtcH2nMa4

Mid 50’s male with mild to moderate hearing loss starting my journey to better hearing. I struggle hearing people during conversations in moderately busy areas, in meetings, on the phone, when eating, and quiet people. I also have constant high frequency hiss tinnitus that never stops in both ears.
I’m a bit of a techie and have an iPhone and I love music which I usually listen to with high quality IEMs at fairly low volumes now.
I’ve read a lot of good things on this subreddit about Costco and was going to try that first as my local Costco has a hearing center but my wife wants me to try UnitedHealthcare Hearing that she read about in one of the AARP magazines. I have BCBS insurance, not UHC, but found a provider that is on both lists close to where I live that is a licensed audiologist.
From what I’ve seen so far is the hearing aids on the UHC providers website are more than twice what they are at Costco.
Please guide me in the right direction. Thanks.

Apps and Agencies
Findmate: Is not the largest international dating app, but it might have the best security of anyone out there. Its built in video features make it easy to see what the women really look like - without filters! It also has an innovative revenue share model that makes it a far more ethical choice than other dating apps.
A Foreign Affair: AFA is the oldest and largest international matchmaker on the planet. Most PPBs don't need a matchmaker, but AFA is more than just matchmaker. They can help with all sorts of services and help arrange individual dates in thirteen countries with serious marriage minded women.
Official Resources:
US Passport Office: American citizens who do not have a passport should start here.
US State Department Travel Tips: Follow the links and see what the US government thinks you should be aware of on your trip. Be sure and click on the Check List.
CIA World Factbook:This is simply an amazing resource for world travelers. It is a resource for American officials traveling overseas. It is all open source and so on, but a great place to start your research on a country.
General Travel Advice:
10 Tips For First Time International Travelers: Good simple article on traveling internationally. It is not that complicated, but for beginners it can be overwhelming.
Longer Beginner's Guide: This guide to international travel is more detailed than the one above and has useful links.
TripAdvisor: They do a great job with advice about hotels, restaurants and so on.
Frommers: One of the oldest travel resources. It is great for deep dives on a country or city.
World Weather Site: A good place to start on the weather for almost any destination.
Kiplinger's List of Money Saving Travel Sites: Kiplinger's is an old school money magazine and this is a pretty good start for money saving travel sites.
Expat Information:
Expatica: Advice for first time expats from one of the best expat websites.
Numbeo: Cost of living calculator based on user feedback. You tend to learn more than just about prices if you pay attention.
Information on International Dating:
International Love Scout: Read the articles. This site is the best general site on international dating. The articles on Academic Research and the Benefits of Marriage Are Particularly Good.
Elena's Dating Blog: Run by Elena's Models this is a great resource on Eastern European women, particularly Russians.
Great Reddit Posts:
Information For Black Guys: This is a great post for African-American guys.

I've read countless posts asking, "Why isn't the world paying attention to us?"
We've just had the world's largest LC + MECFS conference to date, and the US news outlets have given us ZERO COVERAGE as far as I can see? Can anyone share anything they've seen out there?
I only see a few German articles (see below - well worth reading).I reached out to one of the event organizers and he confirmed that he has no knowledge of US coverage of the event.
Will you join me in sending a quick message to your favorite news outlets or any of those listed below, asking why we need to read about this story via google translate from OUS news sources?
This conference featured many prominent US researchers! It was an international event attended by thousands! I've already begun to write my letters.- I'll post my progress in comments - Please join me and comment below!
We know that our power is in our numbers, so if your message is brief or less sophisticated than you'd like, IT MATTERS MOST THAT YOU WRITE!
I'd like to share with you some details that I'm including in my messages. Please speak from your own heart and mind expressing your desire to read about this important event and others like it. Maybe the news story is that this conference took place and it isn't being adequately reported??Here are some highlights from my messages:

• I was eager to read coverage of last week's international conference on Long Covid and MECFS, and feel shocked to find it only being covered by European sources that I need to translate with my web browser. Where is the US coverage?
• This conference featured a heavy presence of prominent US researchers (see names listed on https://unitetofight2024.world if you'd like to list any in your message).
• To date there is no cure for Long Covid or MECFS and it is one of the most debilitating diseases one can experience. The highest disease burden is borne by those in the prime of their life who were otherwise healthy and now have no hope for their future.
• The origin of this event was a reaction to a twitter user named Lauren who said her public goodbyes and ended her life after suffering with Long Covid and with no end in sight.
• Suicide is a leading cause of death for those suffering from MECFS and Long Covid.
• Conference organizers were LC patients who saw Lauren's posts on twitter and her plea to tell the world what is happening.
• Unite to Fight 2024 was organized in just a few months on a shoestring-crowdfunded budget and over 10,000 people attended online with over 40 speakers and 20 hours of content over two days (May 15-16, 2024).

Unite to Fight website:https://unitetofight2024.world
Three German Articles (use your browser or Google Translate if needed)
.https://www.manager-magazin.de/lifestyle/long-covid-konferenz-wir-muessen-uns-endlich-eingestehen-wie-gewaltig-dieses-problem-ist-a-4389644b-1795-4acf-bccf-759d6dce1982
https://www.aok.de/pp/gg/update/long-covid-experten-warnen-vor-wachsender-krankheitslast/
https://taz.de/Long-Covid/!6007816/
Here's some addresses I've dug up. PLEASE LIST MORE BELOW AND I'LL EDIT/ADD:
CNN
[ireport@cnn.com](mailto:ireport@cnn.com)
NPR - Send a News StoryPick your favorite:
On the Media, Morning Edition, Fresh Air, Consider This, Up First
https://help.npr.org/contact/s/contact?request=Send-a-story-idea
American Public Media:
https://mpr.tfaforms.net/27
New York Times online submission:
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/15/homepage/contact-newsroom.html
Washington Post: [readers@washpost.com](mailto:readers@washpost.com) (mailto:Post:[readers@washpost.com](mailto:readers@washpost.com))
Washington Post letter to the Editor:
https://thewashingtonpost.formstack.com/forms/submit_a_letter_to_the_editor
USA Today
https://www.usatoday.com/contact/staff/
Charles Trepany, Wellness Reporter
[ctrepany@usatoday.com](mailto:ctrepany@usatoday.com)
Daryl Austin Wellness and Lifestyle
[DAustin@usatoday.com](mailto:ContributorDAustin@usatoday.com)
David OliverWellness Reporter
[doliver@usatoday.com](mailto:doliver@usatoday.com)
Leora Arnowitz Wellness Editorl
[arnowitz@usatoday.com](mailto:arnowitz@usatoday.com)
The Wall Street Journal
https://www.wsj.com/about-us
Stefanie IIgenfritz
Health & Science
[stefanie.ilgenfritz@wsj.com](mailto:stefanie.ilgenfritz@wsj.com)
Kevin Dubouis
Content Strategy
[kevin.dubouis@wsj.com](mailto:kevin.dubouis@wsj.com)
Newsweek:
[media.inquiries@newsweek.com](mailto:media.inquiries@newsweek.com)
Time Magazine:
[letters@time.com](mailto:letters@time.com)
Us News and World Report:
https://www.usnews.com/info/features/contact
Politico:
https://www.politico.com/feedback
Bloomberg:
[tips2@bloomberg.net](mailto:tips2@bloomberg.net)
Vice:
[tips@vice.com](mailto:tips@vice.com)
[press@vice.com](mailto:press@vice.com)
The Atlantic:
[Letters@TheAtlantic.com](mailto:Letters@TheAtlantic.com)
The Independent:
[newsdesk@independent.co.uk](mailto:newsdesk@independent.co.uk)
TheGuardian:
[features@theguardian.com](mailto:features@theguardian.com)
[international@theguardian.com](mailto:international@theguardian.com)
[guardian.letters@theguardian.com](mailto:guardian.letters@theguardian.com)
[guardian.readers@theguardian.com](mailto:guardian.readers@theguardian.com)
I also wrote to my local University (if you're from Minnesota or if you listen to the Osterholm Update CIDRAP podcast):
CIDRAP
https://www.cidrap.umn.edu/contact-us
Media relations contact: Brad Robideau [brobidea@umn.edu](mailto:brobidea@umn.edu) Overall inquiries: [cidrap@umn.edu](mailto:cidrap@umn.edu)
I'm still tracking down addresses, or help me out and comment below. I'll edit my post.Thank you ALL!

Photos

• Initial Unboxing
• After 1 month and conditioning

Context

I've had my eye on a pair of R.M. Williams chelsea boots for around 2 years, and I finally decided to take the plunge. I'd call myself a beginner in the welted shoe world, but recently, I've been getting into higher quality, resoleable pairs of shoes.
I live in San Francisco, where casual style is the norm, but I'm not a huge fan of the Patagonia-and-sneakers look, so I've been purchasing better-quality and "dressier" shoes. I wouldn't go as far as saying any of these shoes are an investment, but I do consider the long-term environmental benefit of buying high-quality shoes that can be repaired.
This pair represents a few firsts for me:

• My first chelsea boots
• My first wholecuts
• My only pair with yearling leather (I have calf leather shoes from other brands)

Purchase & Sizing

I waited until a recent trip to London to purchase these shoes. RMW has had a store in New York, and I go there several times a year, but they are a bit cheaper in the UK once you consider the exchange rate and tax. The price was £399, VAT included, which came out to $497.75 when I purchased them. The price in New York City would be $539 + tax (8.875% or $47.16), bringing the total to $586.16. Since I knew I would be traveling to London and not declaring much else to customs when reentering the U.S., it made sense to wait.
All my other shoes have laces, and I just wasn't confident about how chelseas should fit, so I wanted to have someone size me in person. The sales rep in the London Soho store said there should be just a bit of heel slip initially, and you shouldn't feel any discomfort. This matches the fit guidelines on the RMW website.
My Brannock size is US 9C. Even though I have a narrow Brannock measurement, the best fit was an 8H in R.M. Williams' UK-based sizing. H is their wide size—I felt 8G was squeezing my toes. These shoes have a narrow chiseled toe box, so going wider makes sense.
I also tried 7.5H, and my heels "clicked in" to the shoes at that size, but they were not as comfortable overall as 8H.
For comparison, here are some other shoes I own that I believe are sized right:

• Grant Stone Plain Toe Bluchers: 8.5D (US sizing)
• Beckett Simonon Morgen Trainers: 9 (US sizing)

The store threw in free shoe bags and a magazine. I'm not sure if you would get the shoe bags when ordering online.
The store initially sent me home with a pair that had definitely been tried on a number of times, as there was some creasing, and it looked like they had been conditioned too. I wasn't concerned as I would be creasing them in short order, but when I got them home, I noticed one of the shoes was wobbling a lot when placed on a flat table, and there was excess edge dressing on both shoes. Perhaps something that didn't totally pass QC but was good enough for sizing.
I returned to the store the next day explaining the wobbling and excess edge dressing. No questions asked, they got me a pair that had definitely never been worn. I could tell because there was no creasing and the leather finish was very matte. The initial pictures album is from the second pair I got after returning to the store.

1 Month Experience

My UK trip lasted for about a month after purchase, and I wore the Comfort Craftsmans approximately every other day, alternating with my Beckett Simonon Morgen trainers. I walk a fair amount, so I've already put a lot of miles on these shoes.
Fit: The shoes initially felt loose compared to what I normally wear. I am in the habit of tying my shoes pretty snug, and you have no control over this with chelseas. The heel slip did mostly dissipate after a few wears, and I definitely think these are the right fit now. Walking around, they are still a tad looser than I am used to, but I feel that any tighter would cause discomfort. The leather has rolled and creased a bit now, and I think it looks good.
Comfort: Everyone describes these shoes as comfortable, but what does comfort even mean? Comfort Craftsmans have a rubber sole and memory foam insert. They feel a lot like wearing sneakers, but more plush (For reference, I mostly wear gum/cup sole sneakers and haven't tried anything like Adidas Ultraboost). Walking in them all day, my feet definitely still get tired, but never painful, unlike basically any other pair of shoes I've owned.
The leather is relatively soft and flexible on these shoes, although I don't feel it's any more supple than my Grant Stones or Beckett Simonons. Overall, the fact that the leather is so flexible and decently supple seems like a good choice for Chelsea boots.
Long-term, I wonder whether shoes with stacked leathecork soles that have molded to my feet (such as the Grant Stones) will actually be more comfortable, but there was never any period of pain associated with break in on the R.M. Williams, a far different experience from the Grant Stones. The only time I felt discomfort in these shoes was on the 10-hour flight to the US, where I felt the toe box was getting a tad tight. Normally, feet swell on planes, so this is acceptable.
Care: I used a small Allen Edmonds horsehair brush daily, spot cleaned with a damp cloth when necessary, and used these shoe trees starting a few days after purchasing the shoes. I was surprised how well the trees with the flexible spring work in these boots, because the trees "push up" on the instep instead of just inserting straight into the boot. You can see this in the 1-month album.
I conditioned the boots with Bick 4 after about a month. They are a tad shinier now with the conditioning, and I think they look good now, but they are still relatively matte compared to my other leather shoes.
I got a very small scuff on the front of one shoe from concrete stairs. And I tend to scuff the inside quarter panel against the opposite shoe when walking. They are hardly noticeable at a distance. Conditioner smoothed the scuffs, especially the front one, but they are still visible, so polishing may be in order. However, these shoes toe the line between dress and casual, get-them-dirty, so I might just leave the scuffs until I get a worse one.

Value

I was fortunate enough to attend the Super Trunk Show in London, and I was speaking to a vendor that offers very competitively-priced shoes. He commented on my R.M.s, saying they are great shoes but are milking it on the price these days.
For what they are, I totally agree that they are on the expensive side. You are definitely paying for the brand and the fact that they are made in Australia. You can absolutely find pairs of equal quality at a lower price, or more refined pairs at a similar price.
But long-term, I don't think it matters too much. They will clearly last a long time. R.M. Williams offers repairs and resoles using their original parts, and of course, a local cobbler could also work on them.
These shoes are such an easy choice to just throw on without thinking too much. You'll look decently smart and feel comfortable. The overall cost per wear will be very low.
So, that's my one-month impression of the R.M. Williams Comfort Craftsman. Let me know if you have any thoughts or questions. And any tips are appreciated. Thanks.

Hello lovely people! I'm Jonathan - just a guy trying to make a lasting connection. It's not an easy task by any means but I love meeting new people and getting to know them; show me what you've got!
About Me: • I'm a graphic designer that works at a local newspaper. I design newspapers, advertisements, magazines, website stuff! It's a fun job, and I really love the people I work with.
• I've been to over ten countries! Mostly Europe, but some Central America/Mexico mixed in there. I'm Hispanic, and speak both English and Spanish with a touuuuch of German.
• I listen to lots of music. Let's share Spotify playlists! I've got lots of loves - Mac Miller, Bleachers, Rainbow Kitten Surprise, Vistas. But that's just the tip of the iceberg!
• I know how to skate! And I've been boxing for a few years, so I'll totally fight you.
• Not really a tv person but I do love Psych, It's Always Sunny - those kind of comedies. Let's start a book club, or plan a fun little movie night! I'm trying to read 30 books this year.
Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading and hey, let's become besties! I'm happy to swap pictures once you're comfortable.

Hi everyone, I wrote Amazon best seller "Winning Fantasy Baseball" in 2014 + I just launched a new book "The History of Fantasy Sports: And the Stories of the People Who Made It Happen."
I want to let everyone know about this as it's the first ever complete telling of the history of fantasy sports and how we went from some ideas people had years ago to the multi-billion-dollar industry of today. It includes everything from the origins of fantasy baseball and fantasy football, through the first magazines, books, websites, stat services, high stakes games, worldwide expansion, etc., etc.
I spent 18 months doing massive research and interviewing dozens of people. This is not written like a boring research paper. The stories of the people involved are fascinating, often inspirational, humorous, and a few will even bring a tear to your eye.
It's available now on Amazon and Barnes and Noble, paperback and eBook. I encourage you to check out the details. The editorial reviews and first Amazon customer reviews have been great. If you love fantasy sports, you will love this book. Seriously, you will.
https://www.amazon.com/History-Fantasy-Sports-Stories-People/dp/B0D39FMLVR

What new words have you learned? Did you learn them here or from another source? Maybe a book you read or a magazine or a website, or school, or in a conversation?
You are free to create a separate post with your new word(s) but if you're short on time you can leave them here in a comment. Please include definitions for your new words so others can learn them too.
This post will be renewed every ten (10) days, so come back here whenever you have a word to share.
If you are a new word lover here – Welcome!

Beware of long post. I am not the most active user of social networks, I rarely write comments, but I like to read. I don’t expect to get any attention, but I want to speak out.
My name is Yulia and I am now 21 years old. I'm trying to work and earn money with my creativity, and this is the story of how I give up.
I grew up in a small town in Belarus. At school I started going to art school. In general, not for the reason that I really wanted to, I just had to do something. I didn’t have any special talent; I could draw as poorly as all 5-year-old children) I changed a lot of sports clubs throughout school. But I completely finished art school. I painted well, but not the best, sometimes my paintings were hung in the school hall of the most obvious achievements. I wasn’t very passionate about this activity, but I liked drawing. For me it was like meditation. In a quiet classroom, where the breeze blows and the sun peeks in, you sit and paint with oil or gouache on canvas for several hours. You look for the right shades and try to understand how the light falls on this jug, flowers or fruit.
I never thought that I would want to connect my life with drawing, although it would seem to be quite logical. While still at school, I began to fulfill some one-time orders to draw something, logos, my own ideas and the ideas of my friends, and I drew on T-shirts for some time. I had a hundred sketchbooks, where I redrew some women from magazines, ballerinas, in order to learn how to draw people in dynamics. In the same sketchbooks she expressed her thoughts in the form of drawings. Sometimes, when we went abroad, I could sit on the beach and try to replicate the beautiful view of the sea.
Nevertheless, mathematics and computer science were good at school, and they predicted a happy future for me in programming or IT. Therefore, after school, I went to a university related to programming, although I won’t lie, there is design there too, but specifically the design of websites, business cards and the like. And of course this is never connected with what I would like to do.
Back in school, I tried to earn money; most freelancing platforms wanted me to make an initial payment for using the site. But I couldn’t take this money from my parents, it was a difficult time, and it wasn’t very clear what kind of money and where I was going to earn money at the age of 13. I found stock platforms where I uploaded my photographs, vector drawings, and tried to draw specifically for the platform, people without faces, in different poses, on a certain topic. But nothing worked out for me, Shutterstock cruelly pushed me nowhere. It's been quite a few years, now it's probably a couple of dollars.
I took all these free lessons on how to make money on the Internet, where everything always came down to buying paid courses. The best thing that we found out then was that you need to write to all the bloggers in a row so that they suddenly notice your services and hire you. But this is of course not a realistic scenario. And I was probably about 15 years old, no one would want to hire you, at least because you were underage.
And of course this came to nothing.
At the university, I started sending applications for vacancies, especially those related to game development. I've been playing games for a long time and I've always loved these amazing characters, their designs and stories. I really wanted to become part of some big project where I could develop some concepts so that this character could come to life. For example, in the League of Legends new heroes are released very often, and I really like reading about the history of their creation, looking at the concepts and how the hero’s appearance conveys his character.
But at that moment, I realized that my level was not enough to get hired. I took a six-month course in drawing on a tablet. I have improved a lot and now I draw constantly; over the last year I have sent more than 50 resumes, including those not in my country. I don't really like mobile games, but I applied for anything to get accepted and get work experience. But I only heard refusals. One day I was hired to animate videos for a startup. They promised me that they would pay for everything when I completed the work. But not only did I essentially create a website for them most of the time, and not do what I was called for, I was not paid anything and, as a result, disappeared from the radar.
I continued to send my resume, but after not receiving any positive responses, I decided to develop as a freelancer. I'm not going to quit this business. But it’s very difficult when you constantly draw on the table, your friends and family celebrate your success, but it doesn’t bring you a penny. I am already graduating from university; according to my assignment at the university, I was sent to work in a very poor school for very little money, which is not enough to even eat for the whole month, not to mention an apartment. And I'm honestly in despair. I would like to start making money doing what I love.
I know that I am not the first artist to face such problems. And that everything is ahead.
But it is very difficult to wait for the future that will be there someday. Sorry, English is not my native language, but I wanted to share what I think. I have attached examples of my work below.

Staying updated with current affairs is essential for every UPSC aspirant. The Union Public Service Commission (UPSC) exam is known for its dynamic nature, and understanding the latest events and their implications is crucial for success. At Khan Global Studies, we understand the importance of daily current affairs and provide a structured approach to keep you informed and ready for the exam.

Why Daily Current Affairs Matter

Current affairs form a significant part of the UPSC syllabus, particularly in the Preliminary and Mains exams. The questions are designed to assess an aspirant’s awareness of ongoing events and their ability to link these events to broader social, economic, and political contexts. Regular updates on daily current affairs for UPSC ensure that you are always ready to tackle this section confidently.

Key Components of Daily Current Affairs

1. National News:
   • Government Policies and Initiatives: Daily updates on new policies, schemes, and programs launched by the government. For example, understanding the objectives and benefits of schemes like Ayushman Bharat or PM-Kisan.
   • Legislative Developments: Important bills introduced or passed in Parliament, along with their potential impact.
2. International News:
   • Global Summits and Agreements: Updates on international summits such as the G7, COP conferences, and India’s role in global agreements.
   • Geopolitical Developments: Significant events affecting India’s foreign relations, like changes in US foreign policy or developments in the Indo-Pacific region.
3. Economic News:
   • Economic Indicators: Daily updates on key economic indicators like GDP growth rates, inflation, and employment statistics.
   • Financial Policies: Changes in monetary policy by the Reserve Bank of India, fiscal policies, and budget announcements.
4. Environmental News:
   • Climate Change Initiatives: Daily coverage of global and national efforts to combat climate change, renewable energy projects, and conservation efforts.
   • Natural Disasters: Reports on recent natural disasters and government responses.
5. Science and Technology News:
   • Innovations and Research: Daily updates on new technological advancements, space missions, and breakthroughs in medical research.
   • Health Updates: News on public health issues, pandemic management, and new healthcare initiatives.
6. Social Issues:
   • Education and Health: Updates on educational reforms, health policies, and initiatives aimed at social welfare.
   • Social Justice: News on policies related to social justice, including measures to promote equality and protect minority rights.

How to Stay Updated with Daily Current Affairs

1. Reliable News Sources:
   • Regularly read newspapers like The Hindu, Indian Express, and reputable online news portals.
   • Follow government websites like PIB (Press Information Bureau) for authentic information.
2. Daily Current Affairs Compilations:
   • Utilize daily current affairs compilations from Khan Global Studies, which provide a concise and comprehensive summary of the day’s most important news.
3. Online Platforms and Apps:
   • Make use of online platforms and mobile apps dedicated to current affairs for UPSC, which offer daily quizzes, articles, and video analyses.
4. Monthly Magazines:
   • Refer to monthly magazines like Yojana, Kurukshetra, and economic and political weekly journals for detailed analyses of current affairs.
5. Regular Revision:
   • Keep a dedicated notebook for daily current affairs notes.
   • Regularly revise your notes to retain important information and make connections between different topics.

Khan Global Studies: Your Partner in Current Affairs Preparation

At Khan Global Studies, we offer a structured approach to daily current affairs, ensuring you get the most relevant and up-to-date information. Our resources include:

• Daily News Summaries: Concise summaries of the day’s most important news.
• Expert Analysis: In-depth analysis of key events and their implications for UPSC.
• Weekly Quizzes: Regular quizzes to test your knowledge and improve retention.
• Interactive Sessions: Live sessions and webinars to discuss current affairs in detail and answer your queries.

Conclusion

Daily current affairs are a vital part of UPSC preparation, and staying updated requires a consistent and organized approach. With Khan Global Studies, you can rest assured that you are receiving the most relevant and timely information, tailored specifically for UPSC aspirants. Stay informed, stay ahead, and achieve your UPSC dreams with our comprehensive current affairs resources.

As promised, The 2024 Memorial Day Camping Gear deal thread is here to help our fellow readers some money for this upcoming holiday break. I have requested the mods keep this post a sticky until June 2, which is when most retailers end their Memorial Day sales. Keep in mind that not all US retailers will ship internationally and any savings you get can be wiped out from import duty, tariffs and taxes from your home country.
Keep in mind inflation has caused many items to have 10-30% price increases as warned by 's post from 2021. Prices will continue to go up as inflation gets out of control, so this could be a better time to buy camping gear than waiting till later in the year.
New for 2024 I am streamlining the deals thread so we can add additional retailers and cut down on clutter. I will list the retailer, example deals and if the retailer participates in cashback sites. Return policy, company background, credit card offers, free shipping etc will no longer be listed as that can be looked up on the retailer's website. This will make the threads appear on less posts and hopefully will flow a bit better. Thanks to several of you who offered this suggestion. I am also adding direct vendor sales as sales start (Marmot, Outdoor Research, Sierra Designs, Outdoor Vitals etc).
This thread focuses on retailers and e-commerce sites in the United States who sell multiple brands, are reputable businesses (ie not scam sites) and they ship and sell to anywhere in the US. I encourage you to check with the vendors directly and to use cashback sites like Activejunky.com and Topcashback.com to save as much money as possible in addition to these links.
Checkout Cashbackholic.com and cashbackmonitor.com to see what cashback sites are offering the highest cashback for whatever site you wish to shop at. Typically activejunky.com is the highest paying cashback site, but sometimes Maxrebates.com , topcashback.com and rakuten.com can be higher.
Thank you to everyone who contributed to this sales thread for last year. I hope to have helped save fellow Redditors as much money as possible to help get more people into camping and the Backcountry. If you find additional retailers of note or sales please comment below and I will update this thread.
Academy Sports:
Academy Sports has not started their Memorial Day sale yet.

• Cashback: Yes. Check current rates.
• Credit Card offers: 5% cashback from US Bank Cash+, Huntington Business VOICE and Academy Sports credit cards

Adventure Supply Company (www.adventuresupplyco.com)
Adventure Supply Company has a few RV and car camping furniture items on sale.

• Cashback: None

Adventure Supply Company (www.supplyyouradventure.com)
Adventure Supply Co has not started their Memorial Day Sale yet

• Cashback: None

Als.com
Als.com has their summer clearance and yard sales started with up to 50% off last season's items.

• Cashback: Yes. Check current rates

Amazon
Amazon has not started any specific Memorial Day sales yet. Expect them to match Moosejaw, Backcountry and REI's sales when they start in addition to Amazon exclusive items like FlexTail Gear, Bulin, Fire Maple etc.

• Cashback: No

Ascent Outdoors
Ascent Outdoors has not started their Memorial Day sales

• Cashback: None

Backcountry.com
Keep in mind several people dislike this retailer due to them being shilled by Dan Becker, Backcountry Exposure etc and they sued a ton of people in 2019 who has the Backcountry name. Backcountry Edge had to change their name to EnWild because of this.
Backcountry has started started their Memorial Day sale with up to 30% off site wide. There are a few really good deals, such as the Marmot Limestone 6p 2022 model for $225 - which is over 50% off the original MSRP.
Backcountry

• Cashback: Yes. Check current rates

Backcountrygear.com
Backcoutrygear.com has 25% off Mountainsmith items.

• Cashback: none

Bass Pro Shops/Cabelas:
Note there is some negative sentiment against Bass Pro after their acquisition of Cabelas.
BassPro/Cabelas has started their "Summer Sale" with up to 30% off. Featured deals include large discounts on the Garmin Fenix and Epix watches, $50 gift card for Yeti coolers and 10-30% off many campchef grills and stoves.

• Cashback: Yes. Check current rates.

BentGate:
Bentgate has not started their Memorial Day sale.

• Cashback: None.

Big Agnes:
Big Agnes has started their Memorial Day sale with up to 50% off clearance and 30% off regular priced items.

• Cashback: None.

Bivouac:
Bivouac has not started their Memorial Day sale yet.

• Cashback: None.

Bob Wards:
Bob Wards is offering 20% off most non MAP priced items with the coupon code NEW20.

• Cashback: Yes. Check current rates.

Camping World / Gander Mountain

• Camping World/Gander Mountain has their "grillfest" sale going on right now with up to 50% off Blackstone branded grills, smokers and griddles.
• They also have started their Truckload camp chair sale with up to 70% off chairs.
• Cashback: Yes. Check current rates.

Campman.com
Campman has started their Memorial Day sale with up to 50% off. Exped, Jetboil Nemo, Deuter etc are all on sale.

• Cashback: None

Campmor.com
Campmor has their "customer appreciation sale" in store sale on May 18 from 10am to 5pm with special in store deals.
They are also offering their usual coupon codes: STARS20 STARS40 and STARS60 to take 20 off of 100, 40 off of 200 and 60 off of 300 (20% discount). No valid on MAP priced items and specific catagories.

• Cashback: Yes. Check current rates.

Campsaver.com
Campsaver has started their mega Memorial Day sale!

• 20% off a single full priced NON-MAP priced item and 20% your entire Outlet purchase using the coupon code MEMTW. Ends 5/27 at midnight MST.
• 15% rewards bonus on new featured gear. Ends 5/31 at midnight MST
• 30% off Merrell shoes and 25% off certain Black Diamond items.
• May "Blazing deals". Ends 5/31 at midnight MST. Many many items on sale from Marmot, Big Agnes, Nemo etc.

Cashback: None
Cascade Designs (MSR, SealLine, Pack Towel, Platypus, Therm-a-Rest)
Cascade Designs has started their Memorial Day sale on all their brands up to 50% off.

• Cashback: Yes. Check rates here.

Columbia:
Columbia has started their Memorial Day sale. Great deals on pants, jackets etc.

• Cashback: Yes. Check current rates.

Costco
Costco has several good deals on budget camping gear for Memorial Day:
*Cascade Mountain Tech Carbon Fiber trekking poles are $35 - These sell for $45-$55 on Amazon. One of the best bargains overall for camping gear.
Note you must be a Costco member or you must have a Costco member purchase a CostCO cash gift card to purchase. Many deals are in store only and YMMV on available inventory.
Cotopaxi
Cotapaxi has started their Memorial Day sale with up to 30% off current styles.
Cashback: Yes. Check current rates
Decathlon:
Decathlon has not started their Memorial Day sale yet

• Cashback: None

Dicks Sporting Goods / Moosejaw / Public Lands
Note: Dicks Sporting Goods purchased Moosejaw in February of 2023.

• Dicks has started their Memorial Day sale with many deals on camp cooking and heavier car camping equipment.
• Moosejaw is offering 20% off any non-MAP priced item when you sign in to your Dicks Score Card account. They are also offering up to 50% off site wide for Memorial Day.
• Public Lands has 20% off automatically on one non-MAP priced item at checkout.
• Cashback: Yes. Check current rates at Dicks,
• No cashback available for Public Lands.

Dunham's Sports
Dunham's has not started their Memorial Day sale yet.

• Cashback: None

Eastern Mountain Sports
EMS has a up to 80% off clearance event and is also offering a $10 gift card on $50 purchases and a $20 gift card on $100 or more purchases.

• Cashback: Yes. Check current rates.

EnWild (formally Backcountryedge.com before Backcountry.com demanded they change their name)
EnWild has started their Memorial Day sale. They are matching REI, Moosejaw etc with the same deals. Big Agnes, Marmot, Jetboil, Kelty are all on sale.

• Cashback: None

Everestgear.com
Everest Gear is offering JetBoil, Marmot, Darn Tough socks on sale.

• Cashback: None

Evo.com
Evo has started their Memorial Day sale with up to 50% off summer gear. They are matching many of the same deals from Moosejaw, REI etc.

• Cashback: None

Exped:
Exped is offering 25% off site wide with free shipping and has a couple closeout deals on the Exped Dura series of mats. Expires 5/27.
Exxel Outdoors (Kelty, Sierra Designs, Slumberjack)
Sierra Designs, Slumberjack and Kelty have started their Memorial Day sales.

• Kelty is offering 25% off site wide with the coupon code "MEMORIAL2024"
• Sierra Designs is offering 25% off site wide with the coupon code "MEMORIAL"
• Slumberjack is offering 30% off site wide with the coupon code "MEMORIALDAY30"
• Cashback: Yes. Check current rates for Kelty and Sierra Designs. No cashback available for Slumberjack.

Garage Grown Gear:
For the UL backpacker and hiking enthusiast, Garage Grown Gear is offering a big Small Business sale with anywhere between 5%-30% off various brands (Six Moons, Hammock Gear, LiteAF, Slingfin etc).
Cashback: none
Gossamer Gear
Gossamer Gear has not started their Memorial Day sale yet.

• Cashback: none

Half Moon Outfitters:
Half Moon Outfitters has not started their Memorial Day sale yet.

• Cashback: None

Hammock Gear:
Hammock Gear is offering 20% off site wide until 5/21 for Small Business Week.
Cashback: None
Helinox
Helinox is offering 25% off site wide. Helinox now MAP prices all their products so sales are rare. Good till May 27.
Cashback: Yes. Check current rates
Iceco
Iceco has not started their Memorial Day sale yet.
Johnson Outdoors (Eureka, Jetboil)
Keep in mind Eureka is being shut down by Johnson Outdoors, so after sale warranty support and parts availability may be limited in the future.
Eureka is offering up to 40% off site wide for Memorial Day
Jetboil is offering $50 off MiniMo, Flash and Genesis Base Camp models

• Cashback: None

Kaviso:
Kaviso, who is the exclusive retailer of Durston X-Mid tents, is offering 25% off site wide for all Nemo items until May 27.
Kittery Trading Post
Kittery Trading Post has not started their Memorial Day sale yet.

• Cashback: None

LL Bean
LL Bean has not started their Memorial Day sale yet.

• Cashback: Yes. Check current rates.

Marmot:
Marmot is running 30% off site wide for Memorial Day. Expires 5/27.
Cashback: Yes. Check current rates.
Merrell:
Merrell Shoes is running up to 50% off site wide for Memorial Day.

• Cashback: Yes. Check current rates.

Miyar Adventures:
Miyar Adventures has not started their Memorial Day sale yet

• Cashback: None

Neptune Mountaineering:
Neptune Mountaineering has not started their Memorial Day sale yet.

• Cashback: None

North Face
North Face is offering up to 40% off many items site wide

• cashback: none

OMCGear
OMCGear is matching several of the same prices and deals from Moosejaw, Backcountry, REI for Memorial day.

• Cashback: None

Outdoor Gear Exchange:
Outdoor Gear Exchange has started their Memorial Day sale up to 30% off. Matching the sale deals from Big Agnes, Moosejaw etc. Big Agnes, Nemo, Marmot, Osprey etc

• Cashback: Yes. Check current Rates.

Outdoor Research:
Outdoor Research has started their "May melt out sale" with up to 25% off site side.

• Cashback: Yes. Check current rates.

[Outdoor Vitals)[https://www.outdoorvitals.com)
Outdoor Vitals is offering 20% off all non Outdoor Vitals items for Live Ultralight members.
Live Ultralight is $10 a month. You get a $10 store credit, access to exclusive discounts and free Priority Mail shipping.
Cashback: none
Paragon Sports:
Paragon Sports has started their Memorial Day sale with up to 30% off site wide.

• Cashback: None

REI:
REI's Anniversary Sale for 2024 has started on May 17 and run until May 27. More details in my other stickied post:
https://www.reddit.com/CampingGeacomments/1couk63/rei_2024_anniversary_sale_catalog_is_now_live/
other details

• Cashback: None

Rock and Snow:
Rock and Snow has not started their Memorial Day sale yet.

• Cashback: None

RTIC
RTIC has not started their Memorial Day sale yet.
Sea To Summit:
Sea to Summit is offering their "bundle and save sale". Save a bigger amount the more sleep system items you purchase. 10% off of 1 item, 15% off of 2, 20% off of 3 etc.

• Cashback: Yes. Check current rates.

Salomon:
Salomon is offering 25% all shoes site wide for Memorial Day. Good to look at if you are eyeing a pair of trail runners or hiking boots.

• Cashback: None

Scheel's:
Scheels has many Big Agnes tents on sale for 20-30% off for Memorial Day.
Sports Basement:
Sports Basement has started their Big Camp Sale with great deals:

• Up to 30% off all sleeping pads
• Up to 30% off tents and sunshades
• Up to 25% off select hiking apparel
• Up to 30% off backpacks and kid carriers
• Up to 25% off many brands of hiking shoes

Note: To get the full 30% off you must be a member of the "Basmeteer" program, which is a one time $30 fee. This gives free shipping, longer return policy and free re-fills of the Flame King 1lb propane bottles (refills only offered in store). Otherwise the sale discount is 25% off.
Sports Basement currently has the best sale on Exped pads right now for 30% off if you are Basemeteer; even better than Exped's direct sale.
Cashback: none
Sportsman's Warehouse:
Sportsman's Warehouse has started their Memorial Day sale. Up to 40% off all camping gear items from major brands (Sea to Summit, Granite gear, Marmot etc)

• Cashback: Yes. Check current rates.

Sunny Sports
SunnySports has not started their Memorial Day sale yet

• Cashback: Yes.

White Duck Outdoors
White Duck Outdoors is offering 10-25% off for Memorial Day. Expires 5/27.
ZenBivy
ZenBivy is offering up to 25% off site wide for Small Business Week.
Cashback: none

Background information:
My (30F) ex bf (32M) that I dated when I was 15 years old is now married to a woman (27F) who has been cyber stalking me for over 9 years. This began in 2015 when they started dating- I would get frequent friend requests from this woman on Facebook. At the time, I didn't know who she was, and I was only adding people that I knew in real life. After rejecting several requests and noticing that she had lots of mutual friends, I came to the conclusion that she was either a bot or just someone obsessed with having as many FB friends as possible. Over the next few months, I got messages from close friends and family members asking if I knew her. One of my friends finally put together that she was actually dating my high school ex. She (the now wife) had even messaged a couple of my coworkers claiming that we all worked together. After several of my friends reached out asking me about this, I finally decided to look at her following list on instagram (she had started sending me requests there too). I found she was following many of my close friends, several of my cousins including two that lived out of state at the time, some of my then bf's friends, and even his aunt that lived in another country. I was so freaked out, I admittedly reacted and posted on her fb wall saying, "wtf" and asking her to message me. She build a straw-man argument about how it was so wrong for me to post a swear word on her fb wall, and not acknowledging her totally obsessive and creepy online behavior. There is a lot that has happened in these 9 years, but in summary, I have not been left alone online by this girl for longer than a period of 4 months. I have gotten requests and messages from fake accounts that are so transparently her, except I obviously can't prove it. She made an instagram account and a snapchat account pretending to be two different people that she thought I might know. One of these was pretending to be this very sweet girl from my high school who was heavily bullied, and when I messaged her to ask if it was he let her know about the account, she was absolutely devastated. Anyway, in addition to Facebook and Instagram, she has also tried to message me on the following platforms: Twitter, Snapchat, TikTok, Pinterest, Etsy, Venmo, Reddit (9 different accounts all made after she found me, doxxed me, and I blocked her), and email. I've gotten anonymous text messages and phone calls- one on my birthday one year at 2:30 am from a website that allows you to "send calls" to people at different times. I've gotten hundreds of items in the mail that I was signed up for anonymously- things like diapers, housing material samples, magazine subscriptions, sample items, stickers, etc. Both of my parents have gotten lengthy messages from her complaining that I am being mean to he that I need help/ or even apologizing for "the harm she has caused." Just to clarify, me "being mean," or "bullying her," to her is defined as me not accepting her social media requests, and being freaked out about the lengths she is willing to go to so she can contact me. Around 3 years ago, I got a temporary restraining order on her. The judge basically told me that the permanent one wouldn't be granted, since she is not really threatening me. This was pretty discouraging, and so I did not pursue it. The TRO gave me 4 months of peace before she was back at it. Once I realized that the police could not care less, the legal system won't have my back, and for every privacy feature in place for social media, there's one or more to help work around it, I decided I was going to start sharing what was happening via instagram. Granted, my profile is private, and I had like 200 followers max. And remember, I have made every effort to block this girl and I have explicitly asked her to stop contacting me/ stop making fake accounts to follow me/ leave my family alone.
So, for a couple years, I have been documenting the contacts she has been making, mail openings, and photos of myself to remind people of what I look like before I end up on dateline. Fast forward to the past couple weeks, a coworker recommended I watch Baby Reindeer on Netflix. This show really captured every feeling I have had during this 9 years of harassment and gaslighting. So, as the show started to get bigger, and this woman continued to cyber stalk me, I did my usual posting of her messages on instagram stories (to my private follower list). I concluded the series with a picture of Martha (the stalker) from Baby Reindeer, with my stalker's face transposed onto her body. Totally juvenile, I know, but I thought it was funny and what better way than humor to cope with a situation I am entirely powerless in. She of course somehow saw this, despite my efforts to block her, and sent me a message accusing me of "bullying her." Note: she thought this photo was me calling her fat?? I guess she didn't see or even hear about the show. whoooosh. I know what she's doing is wrong and crazy, but was it wrong of me to post this pic of her on my instagram story?
A couple things I forgot to mention above: at one point, I gave up and decided to let her follow my instagram, with rationale being that she was just going to do it anyway without my knowledge, and I followed her back. This was creepy, because right away it was clear that she had been doing everything she could to emulate me. She made the same crafts I had posted about, was starting the same hobbies I was doing, posting photos with similar posing and lighting, and even getting tattoos in the same style and location on her body. One time she showed up at a craft fair because she knew my friend had a table at it. She approached my friend and talked to her, then later messaged me stating, "I met your friend and she was nice to me!" As if my friend (a vendor at this event) could be anything but polite to her. She messages me to wish me happy holidays, and oh yeah, to congratulate me on the day of my wedding which was coincidently also the day of HER wedding.

It's a little difficult for me to point to a hairstyle and say "I want it like this" if so many images online are of heavily styled picture-perfect models, and then it will come out looking very different on me. I don't know much about hair so it's difficult to tell sometimes. Generally I prefer no or minimal maintenance aside from daily brushing/weekly washing. Is there some website or magazine that would have example images?