I recently got into emulation and have been trying to download an emulator on my Mac. I downloaded DeSmuMe but whenever I open the application it just goes to a black screen and I can't interact with anything.

I'm looking to either convert hand copied classical scores into the SMuFL format for later conversion to MIDI or MusicXML. Anyone know of a resource for already SMuFL compliant scores or is building one themselves. Nkoda has them I think but they are not downloadable.
Also interested in anyone doing synth voicings of modern classical work.

my mother is amost mag 80 na. malakas pa sya but she has heart ailment na di na namin sinasabi kase lahat ng mga problema, kahiot di nya problema, pinoproblema. shes a great worrier. sila na lang ng tatay ko and isang pamangkin sa bahay para may kasama sila. nagpost ako dati na kasama nya ang 35 year old kung bunso na may 3 anak na walang trabaho na kasama sa budget ng nanay ko. inis na inis ang nanay ko pero wala syang ginagawa. sa amin mga anak nya na wala na sa bahay ang download ng mga inis nya in life. ako naman bahala ka sa gastos nyo basta nagbibigay kame sa inyo kinatamaran ko na bumisita sa magulang ko kase naabsorb ko lang ang energy nya. yung mga kapatid ko inaaway nya sa viber.
​
kahapon nagsbai nanay ko na may need syang gastusan sa bahay. alam ko nagsasave sya mula nung last time na kinonfrtont ko sya nung sinabi nya sa mga kapatid ko na di ako nagbibigay sa kanya, pero ang sbai nya di nagbibigay mga kapatid ko sa kanya (iba iba ang story)
sabi kom diba may savings ka dun ka sa EF mo kumuha ng pera. 20k monthly nya sa amin, pero wala syang natatabi. ayaw ko na sya kausap. dati sobrang amor ko sa nanay ko and now, parang i jsut want her to go. i hate that i am writign this, and i dont want to judge myself for feeling bad about how i look at my mother, pero at my age 42, mulat sapul, di na ako tumigil mag bigay sa kanila. literally we are their pension fund.
​
now taht they;'re aging, and ang push ko sa kanya na magtabi para if need niya ng emergency may makukuha sila, hindi yung mag memessage sa akin (di na kase nya kinakausap mga kapatid 2 babae) para mag share ng victim story nya at paawa para mabigyan, yesterday i gave her extra 4k para sa emergency nya. suppsoedly today, ilalabas ko sila ng tatay ko para kumain sa labas, pero ayaw ko na.
​

I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me for four years and also he's addicted to hentai manga's and porn.
We started dating in 2018 and I got pregnant in 2020. We decided na mag live in sa side nya after covid para na din may katulong ako sa pag aalaga sa baby namen. sa mga unang taon na pag sasama namen parang may na fefeel na ako na mali. ilang beses ko syang nahuli na puro porn yung discord nya, even yung gmail nya may mga files don na puro sex tape at nudes ng iba't ibang babae, pati na rin manga na binabasa nya is puro hentai stories. one time nahuli ko din sya na nanonood ng porn and nag mamasturbate. Kinonfront ko sya about don at ang sabi nya lang is hindi nya daw alam kung bakit ganon sya, nagso-sorry sya at hindi nya na daw uulitin. Nagka trust issue na ako kaya nag download ako sa phone nya ng secret recorder na nakikita lahat ng ginagawa nya sa phone nya 24/7. After ilang weeks or month na lumipas nahuli ko nanaman sya. pinadelete ko sakanya lahat ng files, discord at yung app manga na meron pa sya. Akala ko magbabago na pero hindi pa pala.
2022 nag start sya mag work sa call center. Akala ko nagbago na kase naka focus na sya sa work nya pero hindi pala. Napapadalas yung pagsama nya sa TL/Team nya sa inuman kahit madaling araw dumadayo pa sa condo. Na sense ko na parang may something kasi bihira na kame mag sex at puro away nalang kame palagi. One day pag uwi nya after work hiniram ko agad phone nya at nahuli ko na naka incognito at naka facebook. ibang name ang nakalagay in short dummy account. nabasa ko na may conversation sila ng ka workmate nyang babae na nilalait lait nya, ang nakalagay sa chat is "KALAMPAGIN ULIT KITA SA CR" after ko mabasa yong conversation nila tumulo bigla yung luha ko, kinonfront ko agad sya non at ang sabi nya sa ka-workmate nya daw yon na account na nakiopen lang. tinawagan ko lahat ng ka workmate nya pinagtatakpan sya, alam lahat ng ka workmate nya na may asawa at anak sya. Pinalagpas ko pa din kase napaniwala nila ako na kay (JM) daw yung account na yon na ka workmate nya.
Fast forward, may trust issue na ako sa lahat ng ginagawa nya, alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi pa rin talaga sya nagbabago. So umandar nanaman pagiging detective ko at habang nasa work sya nabuksan ko yung dummy account na ginagamit nya pang chat sa mga ka workmate nyang babae. hindi lang pala isang babae ang nakakausap nya kundi tatlo. Yung isa is recently lang February 2024 nag stop. nakausap ko lahat ng babae at confirm na partner ko nga yung nakakausap nila at humingi sila ng sorry. Yung isa na nakausap nya nung 2022 umamin saken ngayong 2024 lang na may nangyare daw talaga sakanila sa condo. Parehas daw silang lasing non. Sorry ng sorry saken yung babae kasi alam nya daw sa sarili nya na kaya sya nalaglagan ng anak noong 2023 sa bf nya kasi kinakarma sya sa ginawa niya saken noon.
Sa ilang years na pag sasama namen pinamukha nya na ako yung may problema, ako yung paranoid ako yung selosa. Pero lahat ng pag dududa ko lahat tumama. Sobrang sakit sa part ko na kaya nyang gawin saken yon kahit na magkasama na kame sa iisang bahay at may isang anak. Nagawa ko pa silang patawarin lahat. Kahit sobrang laki ng damage non sa pagkatao ko na pati mental health ko apektado na, to the point na mag susuicide na ko sa harap ng anak ko. Sa loob ng 4 na taon kinimkim ko lahat ng sakit wala akong pinagsabihin kahit pamilya ko kase alam ko na pagtatawanan lang nila ako dahil ako ang pumili ng buhay na ganto. Tinatanong ko na rin sarili ko kung may kulang paba saken? lahat binigay ko na. hindi naman ako panget ang daming nagagandahan saken kasi matangkad at maputi ako. Pero hindi ko alam bakit nagawa nya pa din saken lahat ng to. Pati si God kinuquestion ko na kung bakit ako pinaparusahan ng ganto, kung bakit puro sakit binibigay saken sa buong buhay ko, ang gusto ko lang naman magkaroon ng masayang pamilya. Deserve ko ba to? deserve ba ng anak ko to na walang alam sa nangyayare? Sobrang sakit. Gusto ko silang saktan ng paulit ulit, gusto ko maranasan din nila yung sakit na ginawa nila saken. Alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi ako okay hanggang ngayon, andito pa rin yung pain. Kailangan ko maging malakas para sa anak ko kase yung anak ko nalang bumubuhay saken.

paragraph

Lorem ipsum dolor sit, amet consectetur adipisicing elit. ZAHEER ABBAS Fuga nam autem sit totam earum quia, magni incidunt aut dignissimos ZAMEER HUSSAIN blanditiis sapiente neque adipisci iure, dolor unde ullam omnis possimus. SHAHMEER Commodi ab obcaecati nam praesentium laborum nemo dolor inventore aspernatur adipisci.
first
this is the new line

---

Go to google
Go to facebook
Go to linkedin

• SHAHMEER
• ZAMEER
• ZAHEER
• • shahmeer
  • zameer
• Family

1. SHAHMEER
2. ZAMEER
3. ZAHEER

HTML TABLE

NAME	Employee id	Employee job
Shahmeer	387684	Web developer
Zameer	297587	Gamer
Zaheer	188683	html expert

this is based on what i exp before during my knc era haha natatandaan ko na ang daming pinagbabawal sa loob ng iglesia pati na rin yung pag download ng tiktok at mga games like (Cod or pubg/shooting games)and many more dahil masyado daw nakaka sama yon sa knc dahil dapat naka tutok sila sa aral ng Dios🙂‍↕️pinilit pa ng mga workers na kung di mapipigilan ay tanggalan na din ng gadgets hwhahahha. 2/Pati yung mga kapatid na hindi kuno nagpapsko dahil bawal daw sa iglesia pero pinipilit ang mga anak na manghingi ng pera sa ibang tao kapag Dec25 na:/ 3/Ang daming manyak sa iglesia noon diko lng sure if meron pa ngayon dahil nung knc pa ko may kapatid na laging naka dikit sa mga bata nagbibigay ng candy tas yayayain sa ibang lugar para makipag laro kuno kapalit ng CANDY! a friend of mine was harase by the same person, She exp being touched sa loob mismo ng lokal at niyaya pa daw sya na mag mall😟He tried to kiss her pa nga daw pero hindi na sya nag sumbong. 4/I dont really like this cult lalo na sakim sila sa pera! Yes!, sino mag aakala na ang mga ANAK NG DIOS mismo ang gumagawa ng ganyan bagay???? may times na pinipilit at pinapagalitan pa kami ng mga knc workers kapag hindi kami nakakapag abuloy dahil para nmn daw yon sa Dios😣 5/Wala silang pinag kaiba sa mga simbahang namimilit na maanib ka sa church nila. pupuntahan ka talaga sa bahay at babasahan ng mga aral ng Dios kahit sabihin mo pa na dika pa ready umanib!!!!

I am lost and I keep hurting my husband.
First time posting here. I know madaming mag babash sa akin and tanggap ko po yun. Oks lang po talaga. But here it goes.
When I was a kid, I was forced to mature on my own. My mom was always at work, my dad married a new woman and was only home once every few months.
I have an older brother, I love him to bits. But when I was 9, he started sexually abusing me.
When I was 11, I found out I had 3 other siblings from my dad. Without any hesitations, I loved, accepted and took care of them (cook, clean, bathe, teach) and I had to stop schooling because my parents were having troubles financially kasi yung new wife ni dad sucked him dry. We used to be so wealthy, anyhu.
I did not enjoy my childhood, but I have memories of my dad spoiling me, my first dance with him and how he always visits sa school ko pag nasa country siya.
Dad was loving, but he had favorites (siblings sa labas) every time one of them would cry and they would blame me, he would beat the living shit out of me. One time, he banged my head to the wall. One time, I was hospitalized because my step mom punched me in the stomach cause I fought back sa pambabastos niya.
I was sent to the Philippines when I was 14. Para makapag aral ulit. I was okay, functioning well. Masaya, kalog, super optimistic ko na tao na lahat nalalagpasan ko.
When I was 19, my then ex got me pregnant and left me. I was staying with my aunt who kicked me out because I kept my son.
I lived in a Bartolina hehe alone and pregnant. I was also working as a promo girl for various brands as a class a model (may itsura ako noon) and that is how my son and I survived with the help of my churchmates too and friends, nairaos namin.
I applied sa BPO when my son was 6 months, pinalad, natanggap.
That is where I met my now husband. He was cute ( i am a sucker for chinitos) i fell in love instantly. And within a month of meeting each other nag live in kami.
He loved and accepted my son as his own. It was happy. Di kami mayaman, pero masaya kami.
He proposed to me after 3 months of being together, i was 21 and he was 20. Ofc I said yes. He was nice to me, he loved my son what more could I ask for diba?
That same year, April 2013 i found out I was pregnant and he wanted an abortion dahil breadwinner siya ng nanay niya. I said yes, after that, nagiba kami sa isat isa. He became a dick. Cold, not minding me, left me when I needed him. He was always at his tropas and I like an idiot would go to him waiting outside his friend’s house for hours, kasi nga mahal ko.
I got tired, went to my aunt sa Batangas for 3 months with my son. When I went back to Manila, nakipag kita siya at nagka balikan.
A year after, nagka gulo nanaman kami. I started to see someone else. I was receiving the same treatment he gave me last 2013, so i found someone else. I was a dick because yung kid ko pinapabantay ko sa kanya while I went to my then ex. I also told my family he was hurting me physically (verbal lang naman ginawa) para makuha kid ko.
Lo and behold, kinausap ako ng asawa ko na hindi daw niya kaya ng wala ako and I have to choose between him and my then ex. I chose him.
2015, January okay kami. February 2015 (lahat ng incidents na di kami okay since 2014 is always February) we split up, he was seeing someone else, and I met someone else and also entertained this guy at work na crush ko.
March 2015, I found out I was pregnant (it is his kasi wala naman ako ibang inaano) and I told him, child support lang habol ko and him And his then ex can live happily. I let the dude I was seeing go because unfair sa kanya.
So iniwan niya ex niya and said na ayusin namin. I was happy kasi parehas kami galing sa broken family.
Gave birth the same year, it was soooo good until I had postpartum. I was always anxious and couldn’t sleep. I would be hot headed and he would be mad too whenever I called him out or vented. He is verbally abusive however when I had postpartum he almost hit me but did not. February 2016, away nanaman kami ng away.
Nawalan kami ng yaya and pabalik sana ako sa work from maternity leave. I did not want to resign so he gave way.
Super na appreciate ko yun and I fell even more in love with him and we got married ng Dec 2016.
Jan 2017, i found out i was pregnant once again. It was perfect, we were happy, did not have postpartum with my 3rd child. It was so good.
Sept 2017, i gave birth and my uncle paid for my childbirth.
Fast forward 2018, masaya padin. He surprised me nung bday ko, he was working GY and I was working dayshift. I felt na we were drifting apart.
March 2018, he was drinking. Depressed siya, and ako i kept asking what was wrong. May nasabi akong masakit which caused him to go violent. I called the police and I was supposed to file VAWC but the police said na if i put him in jail kawawa daw mga anak namin. So i did not.
During this period, i had an officemate who i vibed with. Lalaki siya obviously, we became so close. During our company year end party, we got so wasted and something happened.
I had feelings for this dude which I know is wrong and I hate myself so much. The guilt was consuming me. Instead of confessing to my husband i spoke to friends, to ease the guilt. I justified what I did because he wasn’t treating me right and that he deserved what I did to him because he was hurting me also.
That was very immature of me and that cost all the mess.
I was acting like everything was OK and I wasn’t hiding anything. Fast forward to the pandemic, I got pregnant once again and good things were happening to me, promoted at work. I invested in cryptocurrency everything was going so well. When I gave birth to my youngest son, I got diagnosed with postpartum harm ocd, this was so bad. I consulted a psychiatrist and took meds.
I had the guilt of what i did nung 2018 come back to me so I admitted everything and also told my new set of friends one sided stories as per my husband. I told my friends he was abusive(verbally and physically) the worst thing he ever did to me naman was a slap lang
I was suicidal. My husband wanted me to fix things by telling my friends that he is not an abuser and I did not cheat because of his lacks.
I couldn’t do it in the way that he wanted me to. From 2021 to 2023 we would on and off be OK he put all his negative emotions aside because I was battling with mental health.
One day in 2023 we got into a big fight and I told him go look for someone else. August 2023 he started acting different. He changed his phone password. He would have places to go to that we’re not planned. I knew something was up.
I only found out October 2023 when I was hospitalized and he left his phone unlocked that he met a girl on Tinder and they did the deed twice. I was an even if I had an IV inserted I beat the living shit out of him.
He ended things with the girl on the same day. He said he wanted to fix things. I met someone at work who is interesting we vibe but he had a wife so we were just talking and talking and talking and I was telling him about the situation.
I think the dude came to his senses and stopped talking to me because he knew it was wrong which is I’m totally OK with.
I started talking to dude December. We stopped talking end of December. I also downloaded tinder kasi i wanted to feel na kahit may kids ako, may magmamahal and tatanggap din saken pero di ko tinuloy din.
January 2024 when I hoped that everything would be OK my husband surprised me and took me to a camping site. I was optimistic.
February oh I love February. I had a near to death I took medication for my condition. My heartbeat wouldn’t go down and I fainted my eldest son called 911. 911 called my husband to come home because there was an emergency. When he got home, I gathered the strength to go downstairs to see him even if I felt very weak. We decided not to go to the hospital and observe me at home. I was going up the stairs with my husband I said something that pissed him off and he got upset. He screamed and he gave me the look on his face that scares me of aggressiveness. Realized life was short. on that day when I recovered, I went to the office and I got in touch with the guy. I had a crush on last 2015 I was like heck if I don’t have much time to live at least I wanna live happy.
So I met up with a guy with a friend of mine. He dropped me home, and that was the end of it. He ghosted me. His live in partner reached out to me and I told her everything. I told her that he told me he was single with two kids.
My husband did not know any of this and I was contemplating with my life. I was thinking to myself was that guy my the one that got away but obviously he wasn’t.
I then had an event at work and I decided to go on an Airbnb. I realized na ako yung fucked up and i wanted to make up to him.
I told my husband this and he said that he didn’t see much effort in my actions. I also had another friend I was talking to a guy who knows about the whole thing. I started catching feelings for my friend and my husband found out.
Siempre he got hurt. I apologized. Also realized na hanap ako ng hanap ng external validation when I should not. Alam ko ako yung mali. I want to fix myself. How do i be happy with myself? How do I stop seeking external validation?
Also i had another abortion on April 9 because hindi nga kami okay and ayoko mabuhay yung bata sa chaotic environment. My other kids are already suffering and my 2nd child told me na di na niya kaya yung paninigaw sa kanya ng tatay niya. Also, please pray for me. I am so lost

First time posting here. I know madaming mag babash sa akin and tanggap ko po yun. Oks lang po talaga. But here it goes.
When I was a kid, I was forced to mature on my own. My mom was always at work, my dad married a new woman and was only home once every few months.
I have an older brother, I love him to bits. But when I was 9, he started sexually abusing me.
When I was 11, I found out I had 3 other siblings from my dad. Without any hesitations, I loved, accepted and took care of them (cook, clean, bathe, teach) and I had to stop schooling because my parents were having troubles financially kasi yung new wife ni dad sucked him dry. We used to be so wealthy, anyhu.
I did not enjoy my childhood, but I have memories of my dad spoiling me, my first dance with him and how he always visits sa school ko pag nasa country siya.
Dad was loving, but he had favorites (siblings sa labas) every time one of them would cry and they would blame me, he would beat the living shit out of me. One time, he banged my head to the wall. One time, I was hospitalized because my step mom punched me in the stomach cause I fought back sa pambabastos niya.
I was sent to the Philippines when I was 14. Para makapag aral ulit. I was okay, functioning well. Masaya, kalog, super optimistic ko na tao na lahat nalalagpasan ko.
When I was 19, my then ex got me pregnant and left me. I was staying with my aunt who kicked me out because I kept my son.
I lived in a Bartolina hehe alone and pregnant. I was also working as a promo girl for various brands as a class a model (may itsura ako noon) and that is how my son and I survived with the help of my churchmates too and friends, nairaos namin.
I applied sa BPO when my son was 6 months, pinalad, natanggap.
That is where I met my now husband. He was cute ( i am a sucker for chinitos) i fell in love instantly. And within a month of meeting each other nag live in kami.
He loved and accepted my son as his own. It was happy. Di kami mayaman, pero masaya kami.
He proposed to me after 3 months of being together, i was 21 and he was 20. Ofc I said yes. He was nice to me, he loved my son what more could I ask for diba?
That same year, April 2013 i found out I was pregnant and he wanted an abortion dahil breadwinner siya ng nanay niya. I said yes, after that, nagiba kami sa isat isa. He became a dick. Cold, not minding me, left me when I needed him. He was always at his tropas and I like an idiot would go to him waiting outside his friend’s house for hours, kasi nga mahal ko.
I got tired, went to my aunt sa Batangas for 3 months with my son. When I went back to Manila, nakipag kita siya at nagka balikan.
A year after, nagka gulo nanaman kami. I started to see someone else. I was receiving the same treatment he gave me last 2013, so i found someone else. I was a dick because yung kid ko pinapabantay ko sa kanya while I went to my then ex. I also told my family he was hurting me physically (verbal lang naman ginawa) para makuha kid ko.
Lo and behold, kinausap ako ng asawa ko na hindi daw niya kaya ng wala ako and I have to choose between him and my then ex. I chose him.
2015, January okay kami. February 2015 (lahat ng incidents na di kami okay since 2014 is always February) we split up, he was seeing someone else, and I met someone else and also entertained this guy at work na crush ko.
March 2015, I found out I was pregnant (it is his kasi wala naman ako ibang inaano) and I told him, child support lang habol ko and him And his then ex can live happily. I let the dude I was seeing go because unfair sa kanya.
So iniwan niya ex niya and said na ayusin namin. I was happy kasi parehas kami galing sa broken family.
Gave birth the same year, it was soooo good until I had postpartum. I was always anxious and couldn’t sleep. I would be hot headed and he would be mad too whenever I called him out or vented. He is verbally abusive however when I had postpartum he almost hit me but did not. February 2016, away nanaman kami ng away.
Nawalan kami ng yaya and pabalik sana ako sa work from maternity leave. I did not want to resign so he gave way.
Super na appreciate ko yun and I fell even more in love with him and we got married ng Dec 2016.
Jan 2017, i found out i was pregnant once again. It was perfect, we were happy, did not have postpartum with my 3rd child. It was so good.
Sept 2017, i gave birth and my uncle paid for my childbirth.
Fast forward 2018, masaya padin. He surprised me nung bday ko, he was working GY and I was working dayshift. I felt na we were drifting apart.
March 2018, he was drinking. Depressed siya, and ako i kept asking what was wrong. May nasabi akong masakit which caused him to go violent. I called the police and I was supposed to file VAWC but the police said na if i put him in jail kawawa daw mga anak namin. So i did not.
During this period, i had an officemate who i vibed with. Lalaki siya obviously, we became so close. During our company year end party, we got so wasted and something happened.
I had feelings for this dude which I know is wrong and I hate myself so much. The guilt was consuming me. Instead of confessing to my husband i spoke to friends, to ease the guilt. I justified what I did because he wasn’t treating me right and that he deserved what I did to him because he was hurting me also.
That was very immature of me and that cost all the mess.
I was acting like everything was OK and I wasn’t hiding anything. Fast forward to the pandemic, I got pregnant once again and good things were happening to me, promoted at work. I invested in cryptocurrency everything was going so well. When I gave birth to my youngest son, I got diagnosed with postpartum harm ocd, this was so bad. I consulted a psychiatrist and took meds.
I had the guilt of what i did nung 2018 come back to me so I admitted everything and also told my new set of friends one sided stories as per my husband. I told my friends he was abusive(verbally and physically) the worst thing he ever did to me naman was a slap lang
I was suicidal. My husband wanted me to fix things by telling my friends that he is not an abuser and I did not cheat because of his lacks.
I couldn’t do it in the way that he wanted me to. From 2021 to 2023 we would on and off be OK he put all his negative emotions aside because I was battling with mental health.
One day in 2023 we got into a big fight and I told him go look for someone else. August 2023 he started acting different. He changed his phone password. He would have places to go to that we’re not planned. I knew something was up.
I only found out October 2023 when I was hospitalized and he left his phone unlocked that he met a girl on Tinder and they did the deed twice. I was an even if I had an IV inserted I beat the living shit out of him.
He ended things with the girl on the same day. He said he wanted to fix things. I met someone at work who is interesting we vibe but he had a wife so we were just talking and talking and talking and I was telling him about the situation.
I think the dude came to his senses and stopped talking to me because he knew it was wrong which is I’m totally OK with.
I started talking to dude December. We stopped talking end of December. I also downloaded tinder kasi i wanted to feel na kahit may kids ako, may magmamahal and tatanggap din saken pero di ko tinuloy din.
January 2024 when I hoped that everything would be OK my husband surprised me and took me to a camping site. I was optimistic.
February oh I love February. I had a near to death I took medication for my condition. My heartbeat wouldn’t go down and I fainted my eldest son called 911. 911 called my husband to come home because there was an emergency. When he got home, I gathered the strength to go downstairs to see him even if I felt very weak. We decided not to go to the hospital and observe me at home. I was going up the stairs with my husband I said something that pissed him off and he got upset. He screamed and he gave me the look on his face that scares me of aggressiveness. Realized life was short. on that day when I recovered, I went to the office and I got in touch with the guy. I had a crush on last 2015 I was like heck if I don’t have much time to live at least I wanna live happy.
So I met up with a guy with a friend of mine. He dropped me home, and that was the end of it. He ghosted me. His live in partner reached out to me and I told her everything. I told her that he told me he was single with two kids.
My husband did not know any of this and I was contemplating with my life. I was thinking to myself was that guy my the one that got away but obviously he wasn’t.
I then had an event at work and I decided to go on an Airbnb. I realized na ako yung fucked up and i wanted to make up to him.
I told my husband this and he said that he didn’t see much effort in my actions. I also had another friend I was talking to a guy who knows about the whole thing. I started catching feelings for my friend and my husband found out.
Siempre he got hurt. I apologized. Also realized na hanap ako ng hanap ng external validation when I should not. Alam ko ako yung mali. I want to fix myself. How do i be happy with myself? How do I stop seeking external validation?
Also i had another abortion on April 9 because hindi nga kami okay and ayoko mabuhay yung bata sa chaotic environment. My other kids are already suffering and my 2nd child told me na di na niya kaya yung paninigaw sa kanya ng tatay niya. Also, please pray for me. I am so lost

Does anyone have a file that can run this game for DeSmuMe? I couldn't find any downloadable roms that have this game. I want to play it badly

medyo mahaba.
I have a sister-in-law sa abroad na may pamilya. ewan, my wife's side of the family are so gullible, lalo ang father in law and etong sister in law. buti naremedyohan ko pa si misis sa pagiging gullible. kaya kami ni sil ay hindi naguusap dahil tingin niya sa akin ay kontra ako ng kontra sa kanya (nascam na siya multiple times previously - I did say gullible).
anyway, eto nangyari. my sil nagchat about 2 weeks ago inviting my wife, her brother, and mother to "invest in bitcoin" dahil si sil naginvest via a broker and kumita na raw ng Php5k, halagang Php1000 (converted from $). after niya matangap ang 5k, naginvest nanaman siya ng 135k (pesos) and sabi ng broker ay naging 5M na ang investment niya in 5 days via bitcoin.
mother-in-law gusto rin maginvest para maging milyonaryo and asked my wife to process it. wife told me about it but suspetsa na niya agad na scam eto. told my wife to get all details from sil paano ang process, anong name ng broker company, etc. para maverify
yun pala, sil got in contact with a "broker" by replying to those comments in FB live... you know... "I thank ms. so and so for the opportunity..."
buti pinadala mga email and chats between sil and broker kaya naverify namin ni wife that ALL info was fake. kaya sinabi namin sa MIL na scam eto, wag na magpadala ng pera. sinabihan rin namin si SIL pero eto na ang problema. she already sent about 300k in "taxes and certificates" tapos pilit pa na hindi raw eto scam. worse, nagiba ang ugali ni SIL na pinagmumura kami ni wife, isasampal raw ang 5M pagdating, masyado kami nagaapi sa kanya, wala na kami karapatan lapastangan siya kasi milyonaryo na siya, etc. this was 3 days ago.
hay... gullible talaga. hinihintay namin etong weekend na marealize niyang walang darating na 5M sa kanya. ang tigas ng ulo eh at nagpadala nanaman ng pambayad para "antimoney laundering certificate" kaya around 500k na ang nailabas niya. oo nga pala, via crypto ang transaction niya sa scammer 🫣 ang laking tanga ng sil na eto. basta, we did our part to warn her. we pointed out all the red flags hanggang sa wrong grammar. bahala siya umiyak when she finally realize she was scammed.
_____________________ update on events leading to today: a MONTH ago, wife told me SIL was investing in bitcoin. ako rin daw since may experience naman sa crypto. I said I will look into it, kung buhay pa mga CEX accounts ko (binance). eh tamang tama ayan na ang balita sa sec ban. anyway, relearned binance.
dito pala unang "naginvest" si sil. apparently she was watching an FB live regarding negosyo, team payaman crap when may nabasa siyang comment na "I am grateful to Ms. Christine Nathan..." tapos may reply under that na legit raw, kaya nagmessage si sil. bitcoin broker daw. scammer told sil to download apps like binance, kraken, and coinbase wallet. tapos may website pa na VENOSMARKET, eto raw yung website ni broker. sil sent 1000 via kraken app, via USDT crypto.
a week later pinadalhan si sil ng 5000 sa kanyang bank account. pinadala ni sil ang 5000 to her mother, sabi ay via bitcoin investment. I remember that tme dahil nagsisimula uli ako with trading tapos 200-300 lang kinikita ko. hindi ko alam na simula na ng scam pala. akala ko masmarunong na crypto trader si sil.
anyway, a week passed by (about three weeks ago eto) and sil sent 135k via kraken, usdt nanaman. five days later sabi ng broker ay lumaki ng 5M ang investment. ayan na... nagyayabang at nagiingay na sa GC, hinihikayat rin ang wife and MIL to invest. remember, hindi kami magkasundo ni sil so hindi ko masyado pinansin ang proseso niya. all the while akala ko siya mismo nagtratrade sa binance.
two weeks ago nakatanggap si sil ng email asking her to pay $2890 para sa "Cost of Transfer (COT) code in accordance with Section 13 of National Act adopted in 1993, plus bitcoin charges" unfortunately, wala siyang $2890 on hand kaya umutang kay mister niya. ayun, nagbayad na via kraken and usdt uli - I assume yung scammer ang nag-setup neto. sil used her credit card to buy crypto. scammer told her to wait 8 working days.
5 days ago, dahil kinukulit ng MIL ko ang wife ko to invest, wife asked me to help. eh tamang tama busy ako with work at medyo duda ako sa 5M in 5 days jaya sabi ko ay hintayin nila na mawithdraw ni sil ang 5M bago sila maginvest din.
3 days ago, dahil naenganyohan si MIL ay napilitan si wife and me to start the process. we got in contact with the broker, na binigay mga sites and apps. eh familiar ako sa mga apps.. at mukhang nagmamadali lagi si broker, may tume limit lagi ang usapan. ni hindi nagpakita ng credentials or hingian kami ng ID. pinakaweird ay gusto iscreenshot raw namin ang gcash namin at magkano ang iinvest. dyan ko na naconfirm na scam eto dahil minamadali kami lagi, no time to verify any info. told my wife to stop the process, wag ipadala ang 30k (yup, muntik na) at nangangamoy scam. wife also suspected, yung walang ID na pinakita.
dun ko na tinanong ang specifics kung ano proseso na dinaanan ni SIL. shet, minura ko talaga ang SIL ko. ang tangaaaaaaaaa! no idea pala si sil about crypto, swipe lang ng swipe ng credit card to buy USDT.na pinapadala sa scammer. nasilaw sa 5M.wala na research or due diligence.
2 days ago. nakareceive nanaman ng email si sil, paparating na ang 5M sa vank account niya PERO magbayad siya ng $3800+ para sa antimoney laundering certificate. shet uli... pati pagverify kung ano yang certificate hindi ginawa ni sil.
today/this afternoon. nagpadala na ng $3800+. hay diyos ko. wala ba, paniwalang paniwala siya at panay verbal abuse na siya sa GC nila. nakakasira daw ng good vibes kaming magasawa kaya siya galit.
___________ short update lang for today: nasilip ko ang GC. walang imik today (as I type this in the afternoon) meaning wala pang dumating sa bank account ni SIL. kung may matanggap, for sure magyayabang na yan sa GC nila. she previously sent a voice message sa GC nila na sumigaw siya na "milyonarya na ako". yup... super cringe.
what I did read sa GC, however, was equivalent ng labasan ng sama ng loob and vitriol from SIL. mute notifications si wife on their GC precisely because of the toxic messages. even my MIL, nagmamakaawa na sa mga anak niya na tigil na ang awayan (passive pa si misis ha while SIL ang super toxic), and panay bible verses na ang pinopost ni MIL para lang ma-tabunan ang mga messages.
what I found very strange among the messages of SIL is "galit ako dahil binastos mo ako, tinawag mo akong sira ulo (context: my wife said matigas ang ulo niya, not sira ulo). kung sinabi mo sana *in a nice way* siguro makikinig pa ako."
halakhak ako dito. how does one say "scam yan" in a nice way?
sa overall tono ng mga messages niya halatang stressed out na siya sa sitwasyon BUT paniwalang-paniwala pa rin (or umaasa?) na paparating na ang 5M.
anyway, kung tahimik pa si SIL tomorrow, malamang naghihintay pa siya sa wala. __________ saturday update (4 days later)
just a short update: still no news on the 5M (of course). tahimik si SIL sa GC - meaning wala pa response sa kanyang bank or from the broker; but my wife is messaging and talking with her mother and brother privately- informing them what process the scam is most likely doing. of course MIL is upset but what can they do?
the only update from SIL is from her fb reels. panay kanta ng religious songs (yes, cringe nanaman) and she bought a kitchen gadget with the caption "nabili ko na ang gusto ko. sa umaaway sa akin pasensya na kung hindi ko kayo aambunan ng grasya" which is obviously directed to my wife and me.
tawa lang kami. wala rin naman kami magagawa at this point in time at hindi rin nakikinig/nagbabasa si SIL. sent those videos by john oliver on pig butchering, react lang ng laugh emoji. mukhang aabot pa eto ng ilang buwan at pipigain pa ng scammer si SIL. by Monday kung wala pa reaction from SIL magpaparamdam si wife via her MIL- "anak, meron na ba ang 5M mo?"

mig33

gua pake jaman SMP. Gua pake di Sony Ericsson k510i. Masih pakai jaringan 2G (GPRS atau EDGE). Waktu itu gua pake buat chat sama temen temen SMP. Udah ada group juga.. namanya room. Cukup ngirit karena mostly text. Ga berani kirim gambar. Waktu itu gua pake Indosat IM3. Daripada SMS 1x Rp150 mending make mig33. Konsep kuota data belum ada. Adanya Rp1/kB. Aplikasinya pakai yang versi Java. Ribet lah harus download .jar dari web mig33.

MXIT

gua pake waktu mulai masuk SMK. Ninggalin mig33 karena network effect. Temen temen makenya MXIT yaa ikut. Udah upgrade make ke Nokia N70. Jaringan udah dapat 3G (UTMS, HSDPA bahkan HSUPA). Udah mulai berani kirim gambar. Udah ada konsep kuota. Bela belain nabung 50rb buat beli kuota Telkomsel Flash 100 MB. Cukup buat sebulan!

Yahoo Messenger

Sempet pake pas magang SMK selama 3 bulan. Abis itu ga pernah pake.

Skype

Cuman pake 1-2 kali dalam setahun. Biasanya telepon partner kerjaan di Aussie aja.

BBM

gua pake pas kuliah. Kepaksa karena orang kantor pada pake. Gua kuliah sambil kerja. Anak kuliah waktu itu kepecah antara BBM, WhatsApp dan Line. Sempet beli BB 8520 paling murah dan install 3 apps ini. Tu hape underspecs dan overprice gila. Gua masih pake paket Blackberry Internet Service (BIS) yang termurah. 60rebu/bulan. Madesu banget cm bisa chat. Ga bisa browsing. Buat akalin gw subscribe ke newsletter biar bisa baca-baca di TransJakarta. Ngenes juga. Jaringan masih pakai 3G. Gua pake BB dari Smartfren.. jadi ngandelin EVDO nya smartfren.

WhatsApp.

Karena ngerasa bego beli BB pas lihat canggihnya temen pada pake Android.. gua lego tu barang ngeselin. Orang di kerjaan dan kuliah pada pelan pelan pindah ke WhatsApp. Dengan budget ga jauh dr BB gua dapat Andromax I. Amaze dengan fiturnya. Wow factor ya pas balik dr Mall Ambassador minang ni hape.. Google Maps an di angkot dan gw bisa track macet di rute depan sampe mana. BB sampah emang.
Seneng sama konsep kebebasan Android. Paket data ayo, WIFI juga jalan. Install dr PlayStore atau sideload juga cincay. Gua cukup tech savvy.. jadi kebebasan ini penting banget. Hal ini yg bikin gw ga hepi pake iOS sampe detik ini.
Konsep paket data jelas dah biasa.. 1GB sebulan cukup banget buat chat, kirim gambar. Youtube an juga jadi biasa. Di masa masa ini gw pake 2G aja masih aman buat WA.
Sampe era 4G, 4G+ dan sekarang 5G masih gua pake. Karena network effect semua pake. Awalnya gua sebel krn fitur ga senendang Telegram. Tapi semua orang pake, ya udah. Makin kesini WA ngejar sih.

LINE

Sempet install dan pake buat PDKT sama cewek. Waktu kuliah hehehe. Uninstall krn tu cewek ga ada interest sama gua. HAHAHAHA. Ini app bloat banget. Auto uninstall. Circle gw geser ke WA semua abis kerja.

Telegram

Gw mulai pake abis jadi mandatory chat apps di kantor. Superior apps dibanding WA. Multidevice dari year one bahkan. Gua pake dari jaman pake Andromax I sampe sekarang gua pake Samsung A54 5G.

Backstory: Matagal tagal na din akong weeb. Like literally magmula nung nakita ko si sailormoon and ranma sa RPN9, fan na ko ever since.
Living in a household kung saan very bare minimum ang financial contribution ng dad ko while yung mom ko nagsasanla ng whatever she has para makatawid kami, we never really got to buy stuff we want na hindi basic need.
My parents are boomers. Like 1940s-1950s yung generation nila. Bilang bunso sa 4 na magkakapatid na 80s na pinanganak, lahat ng needs ko like toys, clothes, everything, puro second hand.
So whenever I see items sa mall na toy na anime, kahit anong tanong ko sa parents ko di nila ako binibilhan. I learned that at a very early age.
Thankful naman ako kasi di naman ako napabayaan. Madalas naman sinasabi ng mga ate ko na ako yung pinaka spoiled saming magkakapatid. Pinakamatigas ulo. Basta lahat na. Kaso yun nga lang hindi ako supportado sa mga bagay na gusto ko. Its more of the age old "mas matanda kami sayo. Mas maalam kami sayo. Kaya sumunod ka na lang sa payo namin"
So on to my rant:
To supplement my wants as a weeb, I started buying mga teks and posters para may makopyahan ako ng mga anime na gusto ko. The most I can do was just draw the anime I really liked and buy yung teks sa palengke.
Madalas pag dinadala ng mga classmates ko, na mahilig din sa anime, yung mga playing cards na may official art ng sailormoon or mga Carddass, sobrang namimilipit ako sa inggit sa kanila.
Nagkaron nga ako ng tita na nagjajapan. Dati lagi siya nagpapadala ng box ng mga laruan. Kaso since kami yung pamilya na nasa maynila, kahit ako yung nakakakilala sa mga anime na laruan na pinapadala nia, sinasabihan ako ng mama ko na "hindi yan sayo. Sa mga pinsan mo yan sa probinsya" lagi ako nalulungkot nun. Oo nga may mga barbie na pinamana sakin mga ate ko pero hindi naman yun yung laruan na gusto ko. Never nagets ng mama ko yun. Ang mas nakakalungkot pa, yung mga laruan na hinabilin sa mga pinsan ko pinamigay din sa iba kasi di nila kilala yung laruan na inuwi sa probinsya since normie sila at mas kilala nila mga barbie at robot.
Nung nag transfer ako mg school nung elementary, natuto na ko magcommute mag isa kaya maaga ako natutong gumala sa mall.
Dun nakita ko yung comic alley kung saan nagningning talaga mata ko. Nalaman ko na finally san bumibili mga kaklase ko ng maayos na anime merch.
Magmula nun nagiipon talaga ako ng maigi galing sa baon ko makabili lang.
Umabot sa punto na napansin ng mama ko at ng mga ate ko yung mga teks ko. Di naman ako napagalitan pero madalas nasisingit sa kwentuhan nila ng mga tito at tita ko na sa mga papel lang napupunta baon ko.
Ayaw ko napupuna ako honestly, pero nastress ako na hindi naman ako humingi ng pera para mabili ko yung collection ko
Bilang nga na iba generation namin magkakapatid, hindi nila nakikita yung value ng mga anime merch na binibili ko
Sumakit nga puso ko nung pinag gugugupit ng ate ko yung Questor magazines ko para lang gawing dikitan ng pictures sa photo album ee. 🥲 (bitter pa din ako)
Matapos nun natuto na ko itago collection ko or sabihin na lang na binigay lang sakin yung merch na meron ako.
So ayun na nga, fast-forward nung nagttrabaho na ko, ang label ko sa pamilya "walang contribution na bunso"
Di gumagastos sa nanay at tatay ko, di nagsasagot ng bills sa bahay, pag kumakain sa labas ang liit lang ng contribution. Basta bare minimum lang nabibigay ko. Sa loob loob ko naman nuon, malamang! Kasisimula ko lang magtrabaho ee.
Eventually nagdadala na ko ng boyfriend sa bahay. Hindi ko alam saan nagstart pero pag napaguusapan yung contributions ko sa bahay lagi nila sinasabi, di ako makapag bigay kasi puro daw sa boyfriend ko daw napupunta. Hindi ko pa din alam bakit tingin nila sakin sugar mommy ako ng mga ex ko but that stuck for a while.
After 10 yrs of working, medjo nakakapag bigay na ko sa mom ko, nakakapag share na ko sa kanila sa mga lunch out. In short umayos na purchasing power ko.
Since mostly dampened yung weeb hobbies ko and na susupplement ng pag nuod ng mga torrent downloaded copies, puro hangang tingin pa din ako sa kahit anong official merch
Medj nanahimik na sila magpuna sa contributions ko. More of laging late lang ako magbayad.
Now on to the present:
Sabihin na naten sinuwerte ako na yung napangasawa ko is weeb din. In terms of sweldo, mas mataas sweldo niya sakin. Simula nung naging kami, very supportive siya sa lahat ng hobbies na gusto ko to the point na willing siya bilhan ako. Hindi ako sanay tbh kasi lahat ng ex ko is the normie guy na pag papasok lang ako sa make up store, hahawakan nila ng mahigpit kamay ko para lang di ako gumastos
Sa asawa ko no need ng justification bakit gusto ko ang isang bagay. Laruan man yan, official merch, games, gora support siya. Nahihiya naman ako sa kanya madalas kaya as much as I can, 50/50 kami sa luho ko.
Here's the catch:
Di maintindihan ng family ko na despite ang lakas ng purchasing power namin na mag asawa sa mga bagay that they perceived as tapon ng pera (the toys, the games, my dresses) di ako makapag bayad on time sa mga financial responsibilities ko
Aaminin ko malaki utang ko sa ate ko ever since inasikaso namin yung lupang iniwan ng dad ko. Takang taka sila bakit di ko mafully paid utang ko sa kanya
Inexplain ko naman na ang luho namin ni husband, galing sa pera ni husband hindi sa akin. Lahat ng utang ko kay ate, sa sarili kong kita sa work ang pinambabayad ko kaya mabagal.
Nasabihan na din ako na kung kaya ko lang daw mag tiis na di bilhin mga damit ko at magtigil sa photoshoot na kung saan ako nagbabayad edi sana nakakabayad na ko sa ate ko
Kinausap din ng nanay ko asawa ko para tanungin "bakit kailangan iphotoshoot yung mga damit niya? Hindi ba pwede na punta na lang kami kung saan tas picturan na lang damit ko" basta lagi nila tinatanong "bakit?" Like they want to understand bakit kami "nagtatapon ng pera" at the same time nahirapan din asawa ko i-explain kasi its dabbling on the territory na ng "reclaiming childhood"
Isipin nio naman kung ikwento yun ng asawa ko sa nanay ko!
Syempre naisip ni hubby na baka malungkot si mama and mag isip kung nagkulang ba sia. Sinabihan nga si hubby na "buti natitiis mo yung mga pabili at luho ng anak ko" inexplain naman ni hubby na gusto lang niya ko supportahan.
Idk baka nararamdaman nio din to sa mga pamilya nio kung may hobby kayo na sa tingin nila di lucrative or sayang pera.
I wanted this to be off my chest kasi after sabihin ng asawa ko sakin yung napag usapan nila ni mama parang I started feeling guilty again about buying stuff for myself.
😞 yakap na lang sa kapwa ko na naiinvalidate hobbies mo just bec sayang lang pera na kinikita mo imbes na ilaan sa kung ano man yung gusto nila na paglaanan mo ng kita mo (i.e. sayang pera at sana nag anak na lang kami since kaya naman namin mamili ng luho)
Edit: Its not na masama normie family mo. Its more of iba lang kasi yung values nila from yourself. Ako natuto na lang ako wag pansinin. Valid concerns nila pero more on ayaw ko na gamitin yung pera ng asawa ko sa mga financial responsibilities na akin lamang.
At the same time, kahit takang taka sila bakit nagsasayang ako ng pera (in their POV) I try as much as I can na wag na lang pansinin pero at the same time parang naguiguilty ako dahil bumabalik ako sa mentality na hindi naman essential yung binili ko :(

Edit: I solved it. Apparently the cheats I used require a button combination to press to activate them, which was L+R for me. After I clicked that combination, the cheat activated.
Hey Guys. I've been trying to get cheats to work on my DeSmuMe core for the game Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's World Championship 2011 Over The Nexus. I've followed the steps of downloading the cheats in Retroarch, and then loading the cheats for the game for the correct region (both are Europe, which I've made sure), but when I enable max currency cheats, they don't seem to apply. The video I followed was this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmhEqri4lSs. I've done these steps countless times, and they never seem to work. I've tried the USA version of the game and the cheats, which also don't seem to work. I've tried using the USA cheats on the European version, to no avail. I've googled around, but I couldn't find anything that seemed to be relevant to me. The most relevant thing I could find was a thread about using cheats for the DS where they said that MelonDS DS worked, but even that doesn't work for me. Here is a log of me starting the core and game with the cheats enabled, which aren't applied. I then deleted the cheats and re-added them again from the database, enabling the ones I want. I then click the button to apply the cheats, but they still don't get applied.

Every camera that is not the main camera (vats, dialogue and the opening in front of the mirror) are black. I sadly can't remember what mod I downloaded before that started to happen. Does anyone know what's going on?
List of mods: [Mod] 4KMainMenu-77440-1-0-1705013782 [Filename] 4KMainMenu-77440-1-0-1705013782.zip [state] installed
[Mod] 4k HD Power Armor Frame - Main File-58188-1-0-1645137121 [Filename] 4k HD Power Armor Frame - Main File-58188-1-0-1645137121.zip [state] installed
[Mod] A Forest 0.8-45330-0-8-1624579585 [Filename] A Forest 0.8-45330-0-8-1624579585.rar [state] installed
[Mod] A-Body Male Body Replacer-66788-1-8-1698942275 [Filename] A-Body Male Body Replacer-66788-1-8-1698942275.7z [state] installed
[Mod] A. Courser X-92 Power Suit-9278-1-55 [Filename] A. Courser X-92 Power Suit-9278-1-55.7z [state] installed
[Mod] AAF - Basic Animations Theme-36336-190625-0-1561429510 [Filename] AAF - Basic Animations Theme-36336-190625-0-1561429510.7z [state] installed
[Mod] AAF - The One Patch to Rule Them All-40110-1-1-1-1564415365 [Filename] AAF - The One Patch to Rule Them All-40110-1-1-1-1564415365.7z [state] installed
[Mod] AAF Beta 161.1-31304-161-1b-1610914138 [Filename] AAF Beta 161.1-31304-161-1b-1610914138.7z [state] installed
[Mod] AIO 2K Edition (BA2)-68238-2-0-1674981582 [Filename] AIO 2K Edition (BA2)-68238-2-0-1674981582.7z [state] installed
[Mod] ASE 2.0.2-25316-2-0-2 [Filename] ASE 2.0.2-25316-2-0-2.zip [state] installed
[Mod] Achievements v1-0-5-12465-1-0-5 [Filename] Achievements v1-0-5-12465-1-0-5.7z [state] installed
[Mod] Addres Library-47327-1-10-163-0-1599728753 [Filename] Addres Library-47327-1-10-163-0-1599728753.zip [state] installed
[Mod] Advanced Settlement Turret Set - All in One Installer Complete Version-8115-v2-5 [Filename] Advanced Settlement Turret Set - All in One Installer Complete Version-8115-v2-5.rar [state] installed
[Mod] Airship - Player Home and Settlement-15228-2-5-1624850447 [Filename] Airship - Player Home and Settlement-15228-2-5-1624850447.7z [state] installed
[Mod] AlienAssaultRifle-v1.4.5-12347-1-4-5 [Filename] AlienAssaultRifle-v1.4.5-12347-1-4-5.rar [state] installed
[Mod] Almost Realistic Immersive FP View AIO Installer-71170-1-3-1683823702 [Filename] Almost Realistic Immersive FP View AIO Installer-71170-1-3-1683823702.zip [state] installed
[Mod] America Rising 2 - Legacy of the Enclave-75767-1-0-75-1702175168 [Filename] America Rising 2 - Legacy of the Enclave-75767-1-0-75-1702175168.zip [state] installed
[Mod] Animated Chems Redone-35403-1-1-1553610902 [Filename] Animated Chems Redone-35403-1-1-1553610902.7z [state] installed
[Mod] Armor and Weapon Keywords Community Resource v8.6.0-6091-v8-6-0-1578253623 [Filename] Armor and Weapon Keywords Community Resource v8.6.0-6091-v8-6-0-1578253623.rar [state] installed
[Mod] Armorsmith Extended v4.6-2228-v4-6-1550963207 [Filename] Armorsmith Extended v4.6-2228-v4-6-1550963207.rar [state] installed
[Mod] Atomic Lust v2.6.1b [Filename] Atomic Lust v2.6.1b.zip [state] installed
[Mod] Atomic World 1.9.1-28713-1-9-1-1611024162 [Filename] Atomic World 1.9.1-28713-1-9-1-1611024162.rar [state] installed
[Mod] Automatron Expanded Weapons System-29858-1-2-4-1635579913 [Filename] Automatron Expanded Weapons System-29858-1-2-4-1635579913.zip [state] installed
[Mod] Automatron Robot Faction Paint Jobs-15973-1-1 [Filename] Automatron Robot Faction Paint Jobs-15973-1-1.7z [state] installed
[Mod] Backpacks of the Commonwealth 1.5.4-29447-1-5-4-1649553040 [Filename] Backpacks of the Commonwealth 1.5.4-29447-1-5-4-1649553040.7z [state] installed
[Mod] Bedford Station Settlement-27041-4-0 [Filename] Bedford Station Settlement-27041-4-0.7z [state] installed
[Mod] Better Atom Cats Garage-14764-1-00 [Filename] Better Atom Cats Garage-14764-1-00.rar [state] installed
[Mod] Better Settlers v2.0 Master FOMOD-4772-2-0 [Filename] Better Settlers v2.0 Master FOMOD-4772-2-0.7z [state] installed
[Mod] BetterCompanions-18547-1-36-1684102225 [Filename] BetterCompanions-18547-1-36-1684102225.rar [state] installed
[Mod] BoS Female Knight Armor-75039-1-0-1696005289 [Filename] BoS Female Knight Armor-75039-1-0-1696005289.7z [state] installed
[Mod] BodySlide and Outfit Studio - v5.6.3-25-5-6-3-1693153392 [Filename] BodySlide and Outfit Studio - v5.6.3-25-5-6-3-1693153392.7z [state] installed
[Mod] Brighter Settlement Lights v1.2.1-2494-1-2 [Filename] Brighter Settlement Lights v1.2.1-2494-1-2.zip [state] installed
[Mod] Buffed Minutemen Militia-19744-3-0 [Filename] Buffed Minutemen Militia-19744-3-0.rar [state] installed
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[Mod] Survival Options v1.7.1-14650-1-7-1 [Filename] Survival Options v1.7.1-14650-1-7-1.rar [state] installed
[Mod] T-49 - Armor of the Storyteller 1.1-14581-1-1 [Filename] T-49 - Armor of the Storyteller 1.1-14581-1-1.rar [state] installed
[Mod] Tales from the Commonwealth-8704-3-02-1611704519 [Filename] Tales from the Commonwealth-8704-3-02-1611704519.7z [state] installed
[Mod] The Beantown interiors Project-4612-v9-3-2 [Filename] The Beantown interiors Project-4612-v9-3-2.7z [state] installed
[Mod] The Borders Of The World V0.02-72600-0-02g-1692411485 [Filename] The Borders Of The World V0.02-72600-0-02g-1692411485.rar [state] installed
[Mod] The Bounty Office-22015-1-0 [Filename] The Bounty Office-22015-1-0.7z [state] installed
[Mod] The Fens Sheriff's Department - Main and Plugin-68276-2-7-1-1683493196 [Filename] The Fens Sheriff's Department - Main and Plugin-68276-2-7-1-1683493196.7z [state] installed
[Mod] The Fens Sheriff's Department - Textures-68276--9-1675400072 [Filename] The Fens Sheriff's Department - Textures-68276--9-1675400072.7z [state] installed
[Mod] TheKite_Caitset_90b-20424--90b [Filename] TheKite_Caitset_90b-20424--90b.7z [state] installed
[Mod] TheKite_CharredVaultsuit-18337-1-1-1560023643 [Filename] TheKite_CharredVaultsuit-18337-1-1-1560023643.zip [state] installed
[Mod] TheKite_HCD_SynthUniform_91b-22086--91b [Filename] TheKite_HCD_SynthUniform_91b-22086--91b.7z [state] installed
[Mod] TheKite_MilitiaWoman_91a-26025-91a [Filename] TheKite_MilitiaWoman_91a-26025-91a.7z [state] installed
[Mod] TheKite_ScoopDigger-18856-1-0b-1560024566 [Filename] TheKite_ScoopDigger-18856-1-0b-1560024566.zip [state] installed
[Mod] TheKite_VTS-20950--90a [Filename] TheKite_VTS-20950--90a.7z [state] installed
[Mod] Thicket Settlement 1.4-25736-1-4 [Filename] Thicket Settlement 1.4-25736-1-4.zip [state] installed
[Mod] True First person Camera-56590-0-1-0-1639529804 [Filename] True First person Camera-56590-0-1-0-1639529804.rar [state] installed
[Mod] True Storms 1.4.2-4472-1-4-2-1674962307 [Filename] True Storms 1.4.2-4472-1-4-2-1674962307.rar [state] installed
[Mod] UNnaked Power Armor.zip-6977-V1-0 [Filename] UNnaked Power Armor.zip-6977-V1-0.zip [state] installed
[Mod] Unofficial Fallout 4 Patch-4598-2-1-5-1679096028 [Filename] Unofficial Fallout 4 Patch-4598-2-1-5-1679096028.7z [state] installed
[Mod] Useful Crank-24349-2-0-beta4-1569270329 [Filename] Useful Crank-24349-2-0-beta4-1569270329.rar [state] installed
[Mod] VTmask-68711-1-2-1691570196 [Filename] VTmask-68711-1-2-1691570196.7z [state] installed
[Mod] Vanilla Waving Flagpoles MOD PACK v1.0-60996-1-1654305896 [Filename] Vanilla Waving Flagpoles MOD PACK v1.0-60996-1-1654305896.zip [state] installed
[Mod] Vault-Tec Suit v1.4-69521-1-4-1682412221 [Filename] Vault-Tec Suit v1.4-69521-1-4-1682412221.7z [state] installed
[Mod] Version 1.01-15139-1-01 [Filename] Version 1.01-15139-1-01.rar [state] installed
[Mod] Vertibid Overhaul-13094-2-0-2 [Filename] Vertibid Overhaul-13094-2-0-2.rar [state] installed
[Mod] Visible Galaxy - Stars Sold Seperately-19127-1-0 [Filename] Visible Galaxy - Stars Sold Seperately-19127-1-0.7z [state] installed
[Mod] Visible Galaxy 4K - Flickering Fix-50818-1-0-1615949138 [Filename] Visible Galaxy 4K - Flickering Fix-50818-1-0-1615949138.rar [state] installed
[Mod] Visual Reload-15118-1-9a [Filename] Visual Reload-15118-1-9a.rar [state] installed
[Mod] Wasteland Army-49257-1-0-1609867650 [Filename] Wasteland Army-49257-1-0-1609867650.zip [state] installed
[Mod] We Are The Minutemen-6443-7-7-1646165884 [Filename] We Are The Minutemen-6443-7-7-1646165884.rar [state] installed
[Mod] Weapons of Fate - Latest Version-12986-1-3-1-1692902711 [Filename] Weapons of Fate - Latest Version-12986-1-3-1-1692902711.zip [state] installed
[Mod] Weightless Ammo (all DLC)-13222-1-2-0-1614795212 [Filename] Weightless Ammo (all DLC)-13222-1-2-0-1614795212.zip [state] installed
[Mod] West Tek Tactical Optics v2.0.1 (minor update)-12220-2-0-1 [Filename] West Tek Tactical Optics v2.0.1 (minor update)-12220-2-0-1.rar [state] installed
[Mod] Workshop Framework-35004-2-3-18a-1703677281 [Filename] Workshop Framework-35004-2-3-18a-1703677281.7z [state] installed
[Mod] Workshop Synth Production-16354-1-12 [Filename] Workshop Synth Production-16354-1-12.zip [state] installed
[Mod] ZeX - ZaZ Extended Skeleton-36702-6-0-1687293851 [Filename] ZeX - ZaZ Extended Skeleton-36702-6-0-1687293851.zip [state] installed
[Mod] cVc Dead Wasteland 6 - Core-43818-6-8a-1685865097 [Filename] cVc Dead Wasteland 6 - Core-43818-6-8a-1685865097.zip [state] installed
[Mod] dogmeat_minutemen_armor_v1_2-2602-1-2 [Filename] dogmeat_minutemen_armor_v1_2-2602-1-2.rar [state] installed
[Mod] fo4morewhentheycamev31 [Filename] fo4morewhentheycamev31.zip [state] installed
[Mod] xSE PluginPreloader F4 0.2.5.1-33946-0-2-5-1-1637347868 [Filename] xSE PluginPreloader F4 0.2.5.1-33946-0-2-5-1-1637347868.zip [state] installed
[Mod] xVividFallout - AllinOne - 4k-25714-1-9-1686489406 [Filename] xVividFallout - AllinOne - 4k-25714-1-9-1686489406.7z [state] installed
[Mod] Attachment Pack-76924-1-0-6-1705693615 [Filename] Attachment Pack-76924-1-0-6-1705693615.zip [state] installed
[Mod] DCGuard_ArmorOverhaul-79124-1-3-1709609880 [Filename] DCGuard_ArmorOverhaul-79124-1-3-1709609880.zip [state] installed
[Mod] Alternate Dialogue - SMU - English v1.0.4a-78631-1-0-4a-1709211267 [Filename] Alternate Dialogue - SMU - English v1.0.4a-78631-1-0-4a-1709211267.7z [state] installed
[Mod] Extended Diamond City Security Dialogue-79911-1-0-0-1711353815 [Filename] Extended Diamond City Security Dialogue-79911-1-0-0-1711353815.zip [state] installed

downloaded DeSmuME to play a game but my 8BitDo controller didnt seem to do anything. i looked up other guides online and tried the remapping and gontroller confgi but it didnt work. desmume just doesnt want to recognize my controller. works on other programms and websites too. how do i fix this?

So I downloaded DeSmuME the DS emulator and when i went on it nothings happening but I cant turn it off by holding the power button. It just sleeps itself and then goes to the exact same screen. How can I fix this?

I'm a 20F 2nd year college student that is currently on leave from school (will start again this summer) due to a meltdown that recently happened. Backstory/Context first:
October last year, I downloaded the NowServing app after reading about it on this subreddit because I had a suspicion that I have ADHD (been thinking of this for years now but I wanted to get diagnosed and medicated because I was failing classes), pero the psych said that we need to address the depression and anxiety first. So then I was on Sertraline for like 3 or 4 months.
At the start of the sem nagkasakit ako for like 3 weeks (i was covid negative btw so ye) and I struggled to focus and keep up with the toxic course load my college program had. Long story short, blah blah blah, sabay sabay yung stress, nagkasakit ako, nagkasakit pusa ko, nahirapan ako sumabay sa school, may incident na nangyari sa pamilya namin, etc. Meltdown. Didn't want to go to school anymore, and it got so bad na lumuwas yung lola ko to talk some sense into me, ganon (btw, both my parents are ofws and im attending school sa manila, renting an apartment with my older sibling)
Fast forward, went to a new psych, had a face to face consultation kasi fully booked yung original psych ko and gusto sana makausap ng family ko yung psych for a "second opinion" or I guess to understand better what was happening to me. Currently, I'm taking Vortioxetine and Aripiprazole, along with Clonazepam; now fully realized that I was depressed for years and so, I'm back home muna.
Here's the part where I feel guilty or like, nanghihinayang? or sadyang tingin ko lowkey unnecessary yung pagkuha ng professional help tho ako yung unang nag approach sa isang psych without the my family knowing. Nung una kasi, ipon ko yung ginagastos ko, for psych sessions and meds, etc. Pero dahil naubos ipon ko nung nagkasakit ako and stuff (I have a weird relationship with asking for financial help sa parents ko). Iniisip ko, wala namang super traumatic na nangyari sakin bakit ba ako depressed, bakit ba kami gumagastos para dito? Nakakayanan naman ng iba na mas malala yung napagdaanan nang walang ganitong gastos. Bakit ako, na mag-aral na lang gagawin, ay nagpapagamot? I get that this mindset is weird or toxic, whatever, we're in the Philippines.
Naisip ko rin. Kung hindi ba ako mag approach sa psych in secret, and just told my family na I was feeling depressed, I didn't want to go to school muna, I want to take a break,, maniniwala ba sila? They'd prob just say na "Ganyan talaga ang buhay," right? But since I had a doctor backing me up saying I'm mentally ill, they're more caring, more lenient into giving me money for my meds and therapy (btw di naman kami gipit but we're also not rich rich).
Kasi my sibling, years ago when they first started work, said na they were feeling depressed. Family said, "Ganyan talaga, dapat kayanin mo." And that was that. Until now I think he's depressed. "Parang tinatamad tamad kapatid mo, parang ayaw bumalik ng maynila nung last time," they said.
I feel guilty. I feel guilty na ako yung bunso na "always gets what I ask for." Yung "paboritong anak" na laging pinagbibigyan. (Although I don't think I'm spoiled nor am I abusing this "privilege"). And since yung kapatid ko yung mas matanda, siya yung dapat mag adjust, magbigay. Na feeling ko iisipin niyang magiging pabigat lang siya sa gastos kung magpatingin din siya sa psychiatrist. But also other stuff happened where our family was disappointed in them kasi of their life decisions, causing them to always ask for money because of "incidents," stuff like that. I... I don't know what to do pero I feel like kailangan din ng kapatid ko ng therapy, but since their the older one, dapat mag adjust siya.
So yun lang. Just wanted to vent.
PS Didnt want to get too specific on details para di malaman ng kapatid ko and stuff, just know we're completely different sa ugali,, so yea.. Details would probably make this easier to understand and for you guys and (if ever) to give a more appropriate opinion/advice. But,, I really don't know how to open this topic up with my family (since ngayon ngayon lang din ako nagstart mag open up sakanila). I'll just open this up to my psychiatrist sa next session.
Thanks for reading.

Last night I was messing around with Oddturtle's modding guide in order to figure out a new mod list. I was getting tired of using Modern Firearms as there were certain guns that just didn't feel good to use, and I was frankly getting a bit downed that some of the cool guns came with small annoyances. So I turned to making more of a... Vanilla expanded list. Except now I can't figure out whats causing me to crash every 10-30 Minutes.
What Im playing on Xbox one X FO4 GOTY
Creation club disabled
MOD LIST: UFO4P FO4 Detection List
MW SFX PACK
Munitions
You and What army + Patches below
FAR Area reform
SKK Combat Stalkers
Zombie Walkers
PLUNDER
SAR - Power armor rework
brutality Hardcore reform
Arbitration - Gameplay overhaul
CROOKS Plunder expansion
Real.ai FO4 FPS Experience
loot realism collection
Perk overhaul by Octoberjemini
ugh. patience
Sprint Reload
ECO + Addons and patches below
npc accuracy overhaul
Bullet time for xbox one
simply better sneaking
companions can sneak
sleep intimate
cars/trucks lootable
Radium
not great not terrible - Geiger counter sounds
horrorghouls soundpack
louder project reality footsteps
commonwealth warfare explosions
zone radio redux
NAC X jedi fix
clarity
Darker nights
Remove ugly flat trash
optimized vanilla textures
reverb and ambiance overhaul
enhanced flickering fire
commonwealth wilderness overhaul (I might remove this)
indubitable ivy
realistic death physics
Improved lighting ballistics
realistic bullets ILB patch
Nytra's performance tweaks
crafting blur remove
Running with hands animations
Automatically lower weapons
much better third person animations
in game third person camera fix
HUD Framework
iHUD
DEF_UI CORE
DEF_UI FRAMEWORK PATCH Author's pick INV Config
BORDERLANDS PRESET
DEFUI PLUGIN SCRAP COMPONENTS
HoloTime
Quick Trade
follower revive system
construct a custom companion
first person death
blood mist overhaul
Voodoo's Super Mutant Replacer
Dak's Ballistic mask
enclave operator
gunner operator
gunner armor expansion + LL
nimrout detective outfit
Yivian frames
Penta Mask
Cloth Masks
replace armor plates
the attachment Pack
the attachment pack implementation patch
10mm anims + attachment pack patch
combat shotgun remesh + ak right handed animations
Dak's combat rifle remesh
service pistol - berreta 92 93
Vintage revolver rifle CWWE
.45 Pistol - 1911A1 - Another Another Millenia
Vintage Shotgun - Winchester
varmint shotgun
european Sniper rifle
the assault shotgun
handmade assault SMG - Raider Vityaz
Infantry battle rifle CWWE
THE RIOT PISTOL CWWE
F4NV AEP-7 vanilla
F4NV .44 Magnum
PBW - The service pack reloaded
HK MP5 Complex Reloaded + Jedi Holsters
HK USP .45 (new) with tactical knives
HK USP .45(new) one handed animations
makeshift melee pack
Looking Stranger
looking stranger synth eye fix
natasha face texture
face texture glitch Fix A
Ponytail Hairstyles
CBBE Curvy
Tac Tablet
Vault girl mod
vault girl head big boss
Vault girl body vault suit open
vault girl lover embrace
quick step
ADS Lean patch
Another ads Lean patch
Building budget extender
Fusion Cores - UWU
place anywhere
flashyjoels advanced needs (Might delete this. Please tell me if theres an alternative for suvival mods)
Cheat terminal
Preset & Face Cute asian face part by Oni
Boston FPS Fix VD - AIO (I dont think i need this because i dont believe i have mods that break precombines)
Fallout 4 FPS Overdrive
boston less enemies
IAF
MAIM 2
RUSSIAN STIMPACK + MAIM REPLACER
CONQUEST
fallout 4 settlements reborn
sanctuary hot springs
SMU REDUX
SMU RE NUKA WORLD PATCH
ugh. radiants...
Quick MM - No Music
Ugh. mod manager cap. END LIST
NOTE: I realize that this may be a simple issue of me having more than 100 mods installed at once, and my Xbox simply refusing to load them, but i had 115 mods downloaded with my Modern Firearms LO and had a relatively Stable LO [1-2 Hour playtime 1-2 CTD] I hoped that getting rid of MF and downloading lighter mods would help with that, but that made it worse.
i tried organizing it according to Oddturtle's list but i got lazy. im considering downloading the Sheet template and organizing it there and planning it out more but im afraid my efforts would prove futile, because even if i did do that my xbox would still crunk.
Another thing i noticed is that i believe i downloaded mods that do the same thing, the only problem is im too indecisive to figure out which one i want to keep, or i just dont know if this mod does that. What i do know for certain, plunder, brutality, arbitration, and Real.ai may be fucking with each other. Im going to delete real.ai because arbitration does that on a Semi Similar scale (Ai still goon rushes you like a dumbass as soon as you duck behind cover, but thats apart of the mod. they seem to be aware of your ammo count aswell if they see you reload or are within range to "Realistically" hear your gun click)

So I recently downloaded an optimized version of the DS emulator DeSmuMe as well as a couple ROMS from the megathread. The issue is that while not running the emulator, there is very noticeable screen tearing even just dragging windows around. Under task manager everything seemed to be well under load and normal for idle. After uninstalling both the roms and DeSmuMe however it stopped.
Should I pursue a different emulator? The roms megathread is widely used so I doubt there’s anything malicious to do with it.

Hiya,
I don't need any help with how RNG generally works in this generation as I've RNG'd many times before on different physical copies. However, I'm at loss as to how I'd go about it in terms of emulation. I am aware of the DeSmuME setup, but because of reasons I rather RNG on MelonDS and have the procedure be somewhat close to how I'd RNG on a physical copy.
With that said I have RunAsDate, PokeFinder and EonTimer already downloaded and ready. I have the firmware for MelonDS as well.
Now for the questions:
- Do I really need EonTimer if I'm using RunAsDate? I've received conflicting responses to this question which is why I'm asking. If I do need it, how do I click both the EonTimer and RunAsDate in one click? If I don't need it, how would I typically RNG with only RunAsDate?
- I've noticed some input lag in MelonDS which will for sure mess up my timing. What can I do to reduce this?
- Anything that might be useful to know regarding GEN 4 RNG using MelonDS is very much appreciated!