For years, it felt like the social media landscape didn’t change much.

New apps came, new apps went, and the last one to really make a dent in the market was TikTok back in 2020.

But in the nine months since billionaire Elon Musk bought Twitter, there has been a flurry of activity — multiple copycat apps have been released as users seek an alternative as the bird app changes under new leadership. The latest rival, Threads, was launched by Facebook-parent Meta and got a stunning start earlier this month.
CNN broke down some of the biggest and buzziest social media platforms — how they work, who they’re for and who runs them.

Facebook … when you’re looking for community (or used furniture)

With more than 2 billion daily users around the world, it’s tricky to describe the stereotypical Facebook user. Some come for Facebook Marketplace, which lets users buy and sell everything from vintage furniture to used cars. Many others come looking for community — whether that’s photo updates from their great aunt’s bridge night, or online groups dedicated to new parents or people navigating health challenges. But some of those communities have created serious issues, including groups that have spread vaccine misinformation or those that used the platform to help organize the January 6, 2021, US Capitol attack.

Instagram … when you’re looking to feel envious

What started as a photo-sharing app for friends has morphed into a place where the goal is apparently to try to make yourself look hotter, more fun and more well-traveled than everyone else. Whether you’re looking at “lifestyle” tips from influencers, sponsored fashion or home décor content or photos from your high school crush’s summer Italy trip — it’s all there. That culture can make the platform fun and inspirational, but it’s also raised concerns about the app’s impact on users’ mental health, especially for young girls.

Pinterest … when you’re looking for inspiration

Pinterest lets users easily search for and organize visual-heavy inspiration on a wide range of creative topics. Planting a garden? Planning a wedding? Renovating an old home by hand? This is the platform for you. Pinterest has also been rolling out features to let users shop directly from their feeds.

TikTok … when you’re looking for entertainment

TikTok is no longer just an app for dancing teens, but many people still scroll (and scroll, and scroll) the shortform video app when they’re looking to be entertained. The platform serves up zippy videos on everything from news and book recommendations to comedy and “get ready with me” style makeup tutorials, and sometimes content about conspiracy theories or solving crime.

Snapchat … when you’re looking to chat with friends

Snapchat is generally known as the platform young people use to exchange quick, real-time photos or messages with their friends or family. The photos and chats disappear by default, so the app feels more ephemeral than other platforms designed to help users cultivate an online persona (although some parents and lawmakers have raised concerns about the safety for young people of an app where content disappears). Snapchat is also known for popularizing face-altering filters.

YouTube… when you’re looking for something to watch

The original video-based social network, YouTube has over the years brought the internet hits like “Charlie Bit My Finger,” “Keyboard Cat” and “David After Dentist” and launched countless influencers’ careers. YouTube has in recent years worked to crack down on various forms of misinformation, although it recently rolled back a policy that had prohibited election denialism content. The platform is now trying to take on TikTok with its “YouTube Shorts” short video feature.

Nextdoor … when you’re looking for info about your neighborhood

If you want to gossip about the neighbor who refuses to cut their lawn, advertise a garage sale, seek help finding a lost dog or ask for tips on where to send your kids for summer camp, Nextdoor will be helpful. The platform lets users connect with other people in their immediate geographic area — but please, be nice.

Discord … when you’re looking to play the same game with your friends

This free text, voice and video chat service is known for its popularity with teens and video gamers. The platform, which feels sort of like an evolution from early AOL chat rooms, now hosts community forums for everything from union organizers and hiking groups to meme enthusiasts and people interested in the metaverse. But Discord has also received attention for its dark side, including issues like racist memes, sexually explicit content and, recently, being the site of a major leak of US classified documents.

Twitch … when you’re looking to watch someone else play your favorite games

Imagine YouTube, but where every video on the front page is a live feed of somebody playing a video game. Countless streamers compete for your loyalty on camera as they crack jokes, respond to their viewers’ text chats and try to pull off the most exciting plays. The platform, which has been known to host a politician or two, also promotes video streams devoted to music, art, sports, and cooking.

LinkedIn … when you’re looking to network

Long gone are the days when LinkedIn was merely a place to publicly post your resume and update it only once every few years when looking for a new job. Now, the platform is a place for users to post career updates, share news and, for some, to pontificate on their thoughts about remote working, how to raise venture capital or how to choose the right candidate to hire. Beware of the occasional CEO tearfully discussing their company’s layoffs.

Truth Social … when you’re looking for right-wing political commentary

This alternative, Twitter copycat platform backed by Donald Trump launched last year as a way for the former president to reach his fans after being suspended from mainstream platforms in the wake of the January 6, 2021, attack on the US Capitol. The platform remains largely populated by Trump and his associates, as well as other far-right political and media figures. The app also features a range of spammy advertisers, hawking things like a “free guide” for “US Dollar Doomsday” or “purple liquid” that “burns body fat like crazy.”

Reddit … when you’re looking to learn about niche subjects

Billing itself as the “front page of the internet,” Reddit is one of the few remaining social platforms that still feels like a giant watercooler discussion. The platform offers up a veritable smorgasbord of topics users can either flit between casually — a cute chinchilla video here, a literary discussion there — or follow down a deep rabbit hole. Its communities are self-managed, relying on volunteer users to make forum-specific rules and to moderate content. Lately, however, Reddit has alienated some of its users with some unpopular business decisions.

Twitter (aka X) … when you’re looking for what’s going on (for now)

For years, Twitter was a central hub for real-time news. It was a place for ordinary people to read and engage in conversation with celebrities, business leaders and other newsmakers. But the platform has been upended since billionaire Elon Musk bought it last October. He has made a series of controversial changes and policy decisions — such as cuts to staff and restoring accounts of previously banned users, including some neo-Nazis — that have left many users and advertisers seeking alternative platforms. Most recently, Musk did away with Twitter’s iconic bird logo and replaced it with “X” branding.

Threads … when you’re looking for musings from your favorite influencers, celebs and journalists

The latest Twitter competitor, Threads, was launched by Facebook and Instagram parent company Meta. The platform looks a lot like Twitter, with a feed of largely text-based posts — in addition to photos and videos — where people can have real-time conversations. The app attracted a stunning 100 million signups within a week of its launch, although usage has slowed somewhat since. But unlike Twitter, Threads says it doesn’t plan to lean heavily into news content and an influx of Instagram influencers has given it a tamer vibe.

Bluesky Social … when you’re looking for an alternative to Twitter

This Twitter copycat app, backed by Twitter co-founder and former CEO Jack Dorsey, calls itself a site for “microblogging.” It looks nearly identical to Twitter, albeit without key features like hashtags and direct messages. But the app runs on a decentralized network, providing users with more control over how the service is run, data is stored and content is moderated. The app is invite-only, so its audience and feed remain limited, but it gained early traction from public figures looking to spend less time on Twitter, including Democratic Rep. Alexandria Ocasio Cortez and model Chrissy Teigen.

Recently, u/TheAngryObserver's argued against the recent TikTok ban, passed by bipartisan majorities in Congress and signed by President Biden. The Protecting Americans from Foreign Adversary Controlled Applications Act, or PAFACA, was signed into law earlier this week, which ban TikTok in the U.S. if ByteDance, the company that owns TikTok, does not sell the company to an owner not associated with a 'foreign adversary.' While TikTok is mentioned specifically in the bill, the law provides for similar bans to be enacted against foreign-adversary-controlled apps in the future.
Banning TikTok is a prudent and forward-thinking idea, for two reasons that are, by themselves, each sufficient to justify a ban, but together demand one, such is the risk. I find Angry's well-meaning legal and ethical objections to the law unconvincing, and in his post I don't think he fully acknowledged the threat posed by continued operation of TikTok in the U.S. under CCP control.

Note on the CCP's relationship with private business

Before diving into the potential threats posed by TikTok in its current state, it is crucial to understand the nature of the relationship between the Chinese Communist Party and private businesses based in China. This 2023 article by the East Asia Forum gives an overview of the changing nature of party-corporate relations under the Party leadership of Xi Jinping. The CCP has always had a presence in China's private sector, but, in recent years, "the private sector is still seen as a frontier for party-building, with Chinese President Xi Jinping making it a priority." While party cells within private corporations used to be focused more on organizing "study sessions or social gatherings" for members, Xi has "called on the private sector to 'unite around the party,'" a directive to deepen party-corporation relationships and direct corporate funding towards Party functions.
Perhaps most emblematic of the Party's ongoing power grab in the private sector is how deeply the Party is becoming involved in everyday corporate functions, with the following passage referring to the All-China Federation of Industry and Commerce, a rough analogue to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce under control by the CCP:

The ACFIC also calls for the CCP to ‘exercise leadership over personnel management’, aiming to avoid ‘professional managers promoting whomever they like’. It also recommends that firms establish a monitoring structure under CCP leadership to surveil employees, detect ‘abnormal behaviour’ and deal with disciplinary violations.

This is not simply a matter of Chinese investors owning a company, rather than American ones; it is a fundamentally different relationship between private and public actors. Opposing the accumulation of power by such incestuous unions in the U.S. is not xenophobia. Angry's assertion that "TikTok itself remains adamant that it would refuse requests from ByteDance, its Chinese parent, or the Chinese government, for data. We, again, have no evidence to the contrary," in my view, misunderstands the relationship between Chinese private enterprise and the CCP. Xi clearly views the kind of independence Angry describes as an obstacle, and private investors who come to be seen as obstacles by Xi have a nasty habit of disappearing.

Data security

Angry describes the law as being driven by the fear of "potential risk that its sister, by being located in an enemy nation, could hypothetically take American data (such as emails), give it to said enemy, and then there's the possibility that that enemy could use these emails and whatnot against us."
The fear of data abuse is not based in hypotheticals. It is based in distrust of a political entity that has no credibility on the issue of respect for data privacy due to a series of conscious and deliberate actions:

• In 2017, China passed the National Intelligence Act, which contains the following requirements, placing no limit on the amount of cooperation the government can demand of 'all organizations and citizens' of China

Article 7: All organizations and citizens shall support, assist, and cooperate with national intelligence efforts in accordance with law, and shall protect national intelligence work secrets they are aware of.
Article 10: As necessary for their work, national intelligence work institutions are to use the necessary means, tactics, and channels to carry out intelligence efforts, domestically and abroad.

• In 2021, TikTok's head of public policy for the Americas, Michael Beckerman, testified that 'we don't share information with the Chinese government' and that American user data is stored in the U.S. and in Singapore.
• In 2022, leaked recordings of TikTok employees confirmed that, despite TikTok's public protests to the contrary, 'everything is seen in China,' and that there exists a Beijing-based executive 'Master Admin' who 'has access to everything.' While TikTok publicly insisted on the soundness of their 'Project Texas' strategy to store data in the U.S, a consultant working with TikTok said he felt that "with these tools, there’s some backdoor to access user data in almost all of them, which is exhausting.”
• In 2022, in response to those recordings obtained by Buzzfeed, the TikTok user data of two journalists, one from Buzzfeed, "was accessed while ByteDance employees were investigating potential employee leaks to the press, according to the company."
• In 2023, TikTok backtracked on its assertion that U.S. data is stored in the U.S, saying that American content creators' data, including tax forms and social security numbers, are indeed stored in China.
• in 2024, TikTok insists that 'we have invested billions of dollars to keep U.S. data safe and our platform free from outside influence and manipulation,' conveniently ignoring that the greatest threat to Americans' data security are not 'outside influencers' but people within TikTok and ByteDance itself.

Maybe you believe TikTok's denials when they say that they're working really hard to protect data security, and this time they really mean it. But I sometimes step back and marvel at what TikTok is asserting it has the right to do. A subsidiary of a larger company is attempting to convince us that it has no obligations to follow the directives of the authorities it answers to; they are insisting that, when the time comes, they can be trusted to disobey the requests of their investors, their owners at ByteDance, and the Party agents embedded throughout the company. I know everyone likes to fantasize about telling their boss 'no.' But I do not think the security of Americans' location data and social security numbers should depend on such a fantasy, especially when the boss in question runs what is likely the most comprehensive surveillance state in the history of the world.

Information

While data security concerns have taken up the lion's share of the discourse surrounding the law, I find the concerns for the future of discourse itself even more concerning. Our decisions -- political, social, financial -- are only as good as the information we base them on. In Democracy in America, one of the first major studies of American political culture in the 1830s, Alexis de Tocqueville wrote that

What best explains to me the enormous circulation of the daily press in the United States, is that amongst the Americans I find the utmost national freedom combined with local freedom of every kind.

In other words, not only did the great amount of important political questions presented to the American people at the not just the national and state but also the local levels necessitate a large industry dedicated to the spread of information, but that such freedom to decide depended on newspapers; or, as de Tocqueville says of newspapers, "to suppose that they only serve to protect freedom would be to diminish their importance: they maintain civilization."
Social media is often the vehicle for news today; when you click a CNN tweet to read the full story or see the headlines on news, the content you're reading is written by journalists, but the mechanism by which it reaches you is social media; thus, it is impossible to talk of news without talking of social media. Furthermore, 58% of Americans prefer to get their news on digital devices, a number that has been on a steady rise as TV and radio news fade.
According to its own data, TikTok has about 150 million users in the U.S. alone (more conservative estimates still place the figure above 100 million). That's nearly half of the entire U.S. population getting news from TikTok; having their worldview shaped on TikTok; trusting TikTok's algorithm to steer high-quality stories to them and misleading or dishonest stories away from them. I don't think we fully acknowledge how much power that is.
Consider a hypothetical. The PRC has, for years, insisted that 'reunification' with Taiwan is inevitable, and a high-priority goal of the CCP. The line used to stress 'peaceful reunification,' but no longer. On some day in the not-too-distant future, America may wake up to a world in chaos -- yet another 21st-century imperialist invasion, certain to lead to mass devastation and pushing the world closer to war. But how will we learn of this development? The first thing I, and most Americans, do upon waking up is to roll over, pick up my phone, and check social media.
But for many on that fateful day, the first thing they see will be exactly what the CCP wants them to see. Before you watch the news; before you read the headlines; before you speak to your family or your friends; the people who will have the most power to shape your perception of the unfolding conflict will be the organization that was once exposed for explictly ordering moderators to ban mentions of Tiananmen Square and Tibetan independence. TikTok insists that it has loosened these restrictions, but even if that is true, do you trust them to maintain that 'freedom of expression' during a time of war? In war, information is yet another good that must be mass-produced. Consider how Russia flooded TikTok itself with misinformation in the wake of its invasion of Ukraine, seeking to control the narrative from the start, demoralize Ukraine and its Western supporters, and thus dissuade any potential white knights from riding to their victim's rescue.
It is not difficult to imagine what the CCP, in effective control of a platform that reaches three hundred million American eyeballs, could do with that power. Angry brings up a good point -- he says 'Americans have, with some very specific and limited exceptions, the right to lie.' This is true. But the CCP is not an American citizen. It is a foreign adversary, who largely sees American power as a threat to its own interests and its democratic institutions as threats to its own legitimacy. It conducts industrial espionage on Americans, stealing trade secrets and sowing distrust. It launched an information campaign in 2022 to "discourage Americans from voting while highlighting U.S. political polarization" and has honed their info-op tactics for this year. It threatens global stability by its imperialistic bullying of its weaker neighbors in Asia. It launches hacking attacks on Americans critical of the regime. These are not the acts of a friendly competitor or a rival. These are the actions of a party that believes that our loss is their gain.
If you think the state of our public discourse is in a bad state now, I urge you to use your imagination as to what the controllers of a platform with an opaque recommendation algorithm and an opaque report system that resides at all times in the pocket of half of America can do. Detoxifying our murky political discourse will be difficult, but it will become impossible if the United States' greatest geopolitical adversary is allowed a pipeline into it through which to pump raw sewage. Even if they're not using it now, I'd prefer that pipeline not exist in the first place.

Legality

Angry presents several reasons he believes the . I do not find these convincing.

• "Obviously, it prevents the 100 million American TikTok users from expressing themselves, a violation of the First Amendment."

Is the government banning a certain content of speech? No. As established, you can parrot Chinese propaganda as an individual in public all you want.
Is the government banning a certain kind of speech? No. You can make short-form videos saying whatever you want on other platforms, and indeed several other companies have moved into the short-form video space for this purpose, and doubtless more will if TikTok is indeed banned. It can hardly be argued that moving from TikTok to YouTube Shorts or Instagram Reels places an undue burden on TikTok's users in their exercise of free speech.
So the government is neither telling people what they can say, nor telling them how they can say it, nor placing an illegal burden on those who want to speak. Corporations cannot indefinitely forestall any legal consequence for their otherwise harmful behavior by declaring their place of business to be a 'free speech zone,' and thus declare anyone who interferes with it as a violator of the First Amendment. Saying that banning TikTok violates the First Amendment rights of its users is like saying the health inspector can't shut down an Olive Garden with a rat infestation because Olive Gardens are places where people can theoretically discuss contentious issues.

• "The bill is probably unconstitutional, as the state of Montana discovered when it tried a similar scheme while ago."

The preliminary injunction issued in the Montana case cites First Amendment concerns that I addressed above. The case is currently being appealed, and as such the Montana ruling should not be seen as the court system's final opinion on this matter.

• "It is also a piece of legislation sanctioning a specific person/company, a bill of attainder, which is illegal under Article 1, Section 9."

The nonpartisan Congressional Research Service evaluated this concern and others and noted that

In two recent judicial challenges, courts held that legislation restricting transactions with PRC-based Huawei and Russia-based Kaspersky Lab did not violate the Bill of Attainder Clause because the laws sought to protect U.S. security, not punish a private actor. Proposals that would provide for a judicial trial or agency action before imposing applicable sanctions, such as H.R. 7521, would not violate the Bill of Attainder Clause.

As established before, there is an existing national security concern, and the fact that the bill provides a window of time to offload the company before any sanctions would come into place undermines the legal notion that ByteDance is being explicitly being punished for past actions without trial.

• "It also directly infringes on the property rights of TikTok's owners without due process, which raises Fifth Amendment concerns-- read, TikTok is having its property seized even though it hasn't been found guilty of a crime."

The CRS evaluated this concern as well, noting that,

In one relevant example, a federal court of appeals held that, before the President could order a PRC-based company to divest an acquisition under the CFIUS process, the government needed to provide the affected company with the unclassified information on which it based its decision and the chance to respond.

TikTok has been presented with the American concerns over data privacy and information, and has been given a chance to respond. Furthermore, the CRS argues that Congress may have even fewer legal obligations in this case, unless the law is 'palpably arbitrary' -- a description that cannot be applied to the myriad reasons the U.S. has to be suspicious of increasing CCP power in the U.S.

Conclusion

Continued Chinese ownership of TikTok poses a serious threat to American data security, to its free and open discourse, and to its national security. As you follow the proceedings, I urge you to consider philosopher Karl Popper's famous Paradox of Tolerance, which holds that an infinitely tolerant society will inevitably be infiltrated by intolerant ideas, having no mechanism with which to stunt their growth. In history, free societies that protect human rights are the exception, not the rule, and, in a time of rising authoritarianism around the world, free societies cannot afford to become paralyzed in the phase of such a threat. For an entity whose reign has been characterized by nothing so much as the constant crushing of human freedom to demand protection under the same aegis of civil liberties the American government extends over its own citizens is like a pack of wolves trying to squeeze their way through a doggy-door designed for the owner's pet spaniel.
I was supportive of the bill before it passed, and the events since the signing of the bill have only served to further convince me of its necessity. Shou Zi Chew, the CEO of TikTok, posted a greasy statement of defiance in which he insists that he cares about 'YOUR voice' on a platform that has been accused, He talks about how the 'freedom of expression on TikTok reflects the same American values that make the United States a beacon of freedom' just weeks after the site limited researcher access to data on politically-charged hashtags like 'UyghurGenocide' and 'TiananmenSquare' in response to a Rutgers study which found that 'there was a “strong possibility” TikTok content was being amplified or underrepresented based on how it aligns with the Chinese government’s interests.' It seems that, for TikTok, patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.

Genuinely, realising this so late in itself is so alarming to me, so I’ve decided to address some of my shortcomings, so I can move forward and fix these things going forward. This is a long read.
It starts at the beginning of the relationship in September 2020, when I was in the talking stage with her at the time. I found her inclining towards me early on in the first month or two, and we had decided to start dating online in October 2020. The problem with this genuinely was the fact that the moment I felt the slightest bit of love, or affection, historically since the conception of the relationship, I pushed it away. I suppose it may have something to do with my relationship with love growing up with my parents, but I don’t want to make excuses either. I told her off the bat I wanted to be friends with benefits, and actively love-bombed her until September 2021, when I decided to be with her. She knew I would be talking to other girls, so she would stay up at night and check my Snapchat activity, to see me active after I told her goodnight, and it broke her heart more and more respectively.
Thereafter, we were in the honeymoon phase for a while, but I continued to make mistakes. I was still following my ex-girlfriends on my socials, had photos of them in my camera roll, even responded to them in certain scenarios where they would reach out to me. This made her feel so uncomfortable, naturally so, and I don’t know why I was so dismissive of my actions. I genuinely don’t know how I could possibly be so thick in the head sometimes when it comes to my partners comfort and boundaries.
Additionally, at the time she was walking from a bus stand 20 mins away from my house in order to visit me. By the time it was dark, she would have preferred that I walked her home. Instead, I told her to go walk without my company. Genuinely I am such an asshole. There was even one instance when I walked a random drunk stranger home, and she was so upset that I would walk them home, but not her. It was so illogical of me, that I didn’t do this for someone I love— but I went out of my way to do this for a stranger.
Sometimes I genuinely would make out of pocket comments that reminded her of my past, and this had hurt her as well during this time.
Overarching problem I also had was a porn addiction. She was extremely uncomfortable that I would watch naked women online, and continued to do so in the duration of the relationship. It was only until the following Summer 2022 that I promised I would stop— I will come back to this later.
We had our fair share of arguments ensue this summer, because we were out of the honeymoon phase, we realised we had our fair share of differences. Especially during this time, she was becoming more religiously inclined, while I was having trouble accepting her new boundaries. This also happens to be a recurring theme for myself.
There was another major incident that summer, that I won’t get too deep into due to privacy reasons, but in essence she was in another country, with threats to her safety, and because of hormonal changes she was going through at the time, her behaviour towards me was very versatile. In the sense that, even though she had given me prior warning of her emotionally instability, I used to get directly affected by it, and even blocked her on socials in a time she really needed me. I genuinely don’t know why I am like this, why do I push away when people need me. I’m not dependable at all.
Following her emotional instability, I decided to start watching porn again in September 2022, without her knowledge. I thought the relationship was going to end because I thought she was different than before, but when she came back to our home country, she was stable again, and I regretted my actions and withheld it from her until March 2023.
During the next few months, I was in a different city because I decided to work a co-op locally. I became a cold and distant person, I would believe the love bombing ensued again to some extent. I was also hypercritical of different experiences we would do together, and make them seem like a waste of time and money afterwards. I called her an ungrateful person, even though it was my decision. I don’t know why I jumped to this school of thought, but I genuinely feel bad about it all.
Then in January 2023, I returned back to our school while in parallel to working another internship. I was really clamped on time, and she was helping me by cooking for me and helping me clean around the place. Our relationship was still a fair bit unstable, due to my emotional absence, but the main trust barrier was broken in March 2023, when I had confessed I was watching porn behind her back. After this incident, she was inclined to break up with me, and I acted like I was going to run away/ put my life in danger. I was overall manipulative at the time, and she gave me another chance. I don’t understand how she could be so forgiving.
Shortly after, her parents found out about the relationship, and heavily disapproved due to some religious reasons, and we broke up. Even after all this, before she went to go take a work intern opportunity in another country, she still wanted to try with me. I broke up with her once again, I think a big part of it is guilt that accumulates, and after I have these realisations, I decide to walk away. Only to miss the relationship a couple days later.
We decided to be friends for this tenure, and I treated her like garbage, made her indirectly believe that she didn’t deserve her lifestyle or her job. I was a truly jealous person toward her. I don’t know what gets into me truly. Shortly after, it got too much for her and she stepped away from the relationship.
In September 2023, I broke no contact and apologised for everything, but by this time, she became emotionally distant and cold. I mean, what did I expect, that she would graciously accept me back? In October 2023, she tried to leave again and I lost it mentally, started tossing things around my room, while she was out of the room to make a scene. I shortly acted suicidal once again to see if she still cared for me. I was so incredibly manipulative.
The rest of the time together was somewhat fine, we had our ups and downs but I was really working hard toward being a better partner. She appreciated my efforts through it all, and I could see that she was truly happy within the relationship for once.
Shortly after in January 2024, she had to relocate indefinitely to another country to start a ft role, and wanted to continue being with me after our situationship, though she had introduced new religious boundaries that she set out for herself until marriage. She asked me if I wanted to continue the relationship, but I kept on going back and forth on my decision, because of her boundary. I was trying to make her budge on her decision, and it was incredibly disrespectful of me to do so.
After a month or so of clashing, she decided to remove me from her life. I genuinely think she gave up on me after this instance.
Now, I have identified a multitude of issues that have ensued over the years. Severely toxic traits I have exhibited. I was wondering if this would be a situation where I need therapy to diagnose the underlying cause, or what can I do to be better going forward. I certainly don’t think I am capable of being in a relationship. What should I do going forward, to be better in a relationship? I don’t ever want to repeat these mistakes.
I feel extremely guilty, that after all that I have done, I still want her back. It’s so unreasonable of me to even say. I don’t see myself as a good person, and I certainly don’t deserve any more chances. I just want to be a better boyfriend/husband going forward.

I transitioned medically and socially 5 years ago. I put in a lot of effort to pass, and expected to get the outcome that most scientific publications I read predicted would happen. What I got instead was the complete opposite. My mental health significantly deteriorated : I developed clinical depression, PTSD symptoms, suicidal ideation and went through several suicide attempts. The first year was extremely bad for my mental health. The second year saw my mental health improve slightly due to HRT changes and Ffs surgery. But by the third year things got worse again, and year 4 I hit my absolute rock bottom. I was so mentally ill I could no longer keep up a job for longer than 2 months or so. I became agoraphobia and a shut in. My friends stopped wanting to hang out with me due to the constant panic attacks and PTSD flashbacks I would get. Sometimes I would just sit in a corner catatonically unable to participate in conversation.
Before my transition I never experience poor mental health anywhere this bad. I worked full-time, was fun to be around and never needed antidepressants or anything to function. Now I am just a wreck.
Transitioning has been a complete disaster for me mentally and emotionally. The weirdest thing is that my transition is quite successful on the surface. I'm not cis-passing, people know I am trans, but generally accept me and never misgender me except maybe one or 2 incidents a year. I have a longterm boyfriend who still loves me deeply, despite all my mental health issues. My boyfriend is cishet and NOT a chaser; he has only ever dated cis women in his life, if that tells you anything about how feminine I am.
And yet, none of my transition success seems to have mattered. My mental health is just terrible. I hate my new body and my new headspace. I feel ugly, worthless and a failure. I can't stop replaying all the horrible things my transphobic ex-family did to me. I can't actually love myself this way or accept the way I look I don't even CARE that my close friends and boyfriend like the way I look, I don't give a shit that they think I'm beautiful and don't want me to detransition. I'm the person who's supposed to enjoy being transition and I just DON'T. It's a horrible Kafkaesque nightmare. I feel disjointed, uncanny, weird, disgusting, some kind of mutant. I can't look at myself in the mirror without crying and wishing I could undo it all, have my old male body back, undo everything.
I really wanted to be a woman, or at least to feel like a woman, but transitioning has not granted me that. You dont actually ever feel relief from dysphoria. Instead it just makes your dysphoria feel more acute, more cutting, it makes it more impactful. It doesn't tlrelive any pain. It makes the pain worse. It makes you feel the pain every single minute of every day, rather than once or twice a month.
I regret it. I regret ever getting caught up in this. If there was one mistake I could undo, it would be my transition. It just wasn't worth the mental health problems it caused. Am I really the only person this ever happened to? Does everyone's mental health really improve when they transition?

Only sixteen classes left to finish my degree in Marketing with a focus on Social Media Marketing. It looks like I’ll be able to take six of those classes with Sophia. I still need to take BUS-225 Crit Bus Skills for Success, but I’d rather take that at a later date when I have more patience. From the list of ten classes that I need to take at SNHU, I’ve narrowed my choices for next term down to QSO-321 People, Planet, and Profit or COM-445 Writing for New Media. I don’t know much about either class since my area of study doesn’t have many QSO or COM courses.
Anyone have thoughts on either of these classes?
Some of the other classes I need to take with SNHU are:
BUS-400 Driving Business Opportunities MKT-337 Marketing Research MKT-400 Strategic Brand Management MKT-432 Strategic Marketing Planning MKT-455 Social Media Campaign

I am building my first ever rails app. Its actually going decent. However I am trying to create a feature and I am unsure how to work it.
I am creating an app were I can add new soldiers and assign them to a room. I am trying to dumb this down as easy as possible cutting out a multi step process. SO. Instead of going to /dashboard/soliders/new and creating a new soldier I tried implementing a form where I can enter the soldier info and select a room from a collection select. Didnt go as smooth so I took a step back and I am trying to at least add a datalist of current soldiers, select one, select a room and assign them.
For some reason the data isnt saving the soldier to the room.

21:10:16 web.1 Started POST "/dashboard/billets" for 127.0.0.1 at 2024-04-28 21:10:16 -0600 21:10:16 web.1 Processing by Dashboard::BilletsController#create as TURBO_STREAM 21:10:16 web.1 Parameters: {"authenticity_token"=>"[FILTERED]", "billet"=>{"soldier_search"=>"PV1 Doe, Jane", "check_in_date"=>"2024-04-04", "check_out_date"=>"", "room_id"=>"8"}, "commit"=>"Create Billet"} 21:10:16 web.1 User Load (0.6ms) SELECT "users".* FROM "users" WHERE "users"."id" = $1 ORDER BY "users"."id" ASC LIMIT $2 [["id", 1], ["LIMIT", 1]] 21:10:16 web.1 Completed 400 Bad Request in 6ms (ActiveRecord: 0.6ms Allocations: 1986) 21:10:16 web.1 21:10:16 web.1 21:10:16 web.1 >>> 21:10:16 web.1 ActionController::ParameterMissing (param is missing or the value is empty: soldier): 21:10:16 web.1 21:10:16 web.1 app/controllers/dashboard/billets_controller.rb:92:in `soldier_params' 21:10:16 web.1 app/controllers/dashboard/billets_controller.rb:32:in `create' 21:10:16 web.1 Started GET "/dashboard/billets/new" for 127.0.0.1 at 2024-04-28 21:10:16 -0600 21:10:16 web.1 Processing by Dashboard::BilletsController#new as HTML 21:10:16 web.1 User Load (1.3ms) SELECT "users".* FROM "users" WHERE "users"."id" = $1 ORDER BY "users"."id" ASC LIMIT $2 [["id", 1], ["LIMIT", 1]] 21:10:16 web.1 Rendering layout layouts/dashboard.html.erb 21:10:16 web.1 Rendering dashboard/billets/new.html.erb within layouts/dashboard 21:10:16 web.1 Soldier Load (0.6ms) SELECT "soldiers".* FROM "soldiers" 21:10:16 web.1 ↳ app/views/dashboard/billets/_form.html.erb:21 21:10:16 web.1 Rank Load (0.4ms) SELECT "ranks".* FROM "ranks" WHERE "ranks"."id" = $1 LIMIT $2 [["id", 7], ["LIMIT", 1]] 21:10:16 web.1 ↳ app/views/dashboard/billets/_form.html.erb:22 21:10:16 web.1 Rank Load (0.4ms) SELECT "ranks".* FROM "ranks" WHERE "ranks"."id" = $1 LIMIT $2 [["id", 1], ["LIMIT", 1]] 21:10:16 web.1 ↳ app/views/dashboard/billets/_form.html.erb:22 21:10:16 web.1 CACHE Rank Load (0.0ms) SELECT "ranks".* FROM "ranks" WHERE "ranks"."id" = $1 LIMIT $2 [["id", 1], ["LIMIT", 1]] 21:10:16 web.1 ↳ app/views/dashboard/billets/_form.html.erb:22 21:10:16 web.1 Rank Load (0.5ms) SELECT "ranks".* FROM "ranks" 21:10:16 web.1 ↳ app/views/dashboard/billets/_new_soldier_form.html.erb:4 21:10:16 web.1 Rendered dashboard/billets/_new_soldier_form.html.erb (Duration: 1.6ms Allocations: 1635) 21:10:16 web.1 Room Load (0.4ms) SELECT "rooms".* FROM "rooms" 21:10:16 web.1 ↳ app/views/dashboard/billets/_form.html.erb:43 21:10:16 web.1 Rendered dashboard/billets/_form.html.erb (Duration: 5.9ms Allocations: 5145) 21:10:16 web.1 Rendered dashboard/billets/new.html.erb within layouts/dashboard (Duration: 6.0ms Allocations: 5228) 21:10:16 web.1 ActiveStorage::Attachment Load (1.1ms) SELECT "active_storage_attachments".* FROM "active_storage_attachments" WHERE "active_storage_attachments"."record_id" = $1 AND "active_storage_attachments"."record_type" = $2 AND "active_storage_attachments"."name" = $3 LIMIT $4 [["record_id", 1], ["record_type", "User"], ["name", "avatar"], ["LIMIT", 1]] 21:10:16 web.1 ↳ app/helpers/application_helper.rb:3:in `user_avatar' 21:10:16 web.1 ActiveStorage::Blob Load (0.7ms) SELECT "active_storage_blobs".* FROM "active_storage_blobs" WHERE "active_storage_blobs"."id" = $1 LIMIT $2 [["id", 4], ["LIMIT", 1]] 21:10:16 web.1 ↳ app/views/shared/_dashboard_sidebar.html.erb:27 21:10:16 web.1 Rendered shared/_dashboard_sidebar.html.erb (Duration: 4.2ms Allocations: 2435) 21:10:16 web.1 Rendered layout layouts/dashboard.html.erb (Duration: 14.5ms Allocations: 16103) 21:10:16 web.1 Completed 200 OK in 19ms (Views: 10.8ms ActiveRecord: 5.3ms Allocations: 17842) 21:10:16 web.1 21:10:16 web.1 21:10:16 web.1 Started GET "/rails/active_storage/disk/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJrZXkiOiJzdWdlOWVlMG1kenpvZWQ3OGtzM2x3bG5iOHAwIiwiZGlzcG9zaXRpb24iOiJpbmxpbmU7IGZpbGVuYW1lPVwicGV4ZWxzLXBob3RvLmpwZ1wiOyBmaWxlbmFtZSo9VVRGLTgnJ3BleGVscy1waG90by5qcGciLCJjb250ZW50X3R5cGUiOiJpbWFnZS9qcGVnIiwic2VydmljZV9uYW1lIjoibG9jYWwifSwiZXhwIjoiMjAyNC0wNC0yOVQwMzoxMDoyNC4wNjJaIiwicHVyIjoiYmxvYl9rZXkifX0=--adf9816f96555050609bd9cbf5e41a323f1d7239/pexels-photo.jpg" for 127.0.0.1 at 2024-04-28 21:10:16 -0600 21:10:16 web.1 Processing by ActiveStorage::DiskController#show as JPEG 21:10:16 web.1 Parameters: {"encoded_key"=>"[FILTERED]", "filename"=>"pexels-photo"} 21:10:16 web.1 Completed 304 Not Modified in 1ms (ActiveRecord: 0.0ms Allocations: 149) 21:10:16 web.1 21:10:16 web.1 

After reading the log while copying to paste here, I see:

>>> 21:10:16 web.1 ActionController::ParameterMissing (param is missing or the value is empty: soldier): 

But here is my create function from billets_controller.rb

class Dashboard::BilletsController < DashboardController before_action :set_billet, only: %i[ show edit update destroy ] # GET /billets or /billets.json def index @billets = Billet.all end # GET /billets/1 or /billets/1.json def show end # GET /billets/new def new @billet = Billet.new @soldiers = Soldier.all @new_soldier = Soldier.new end # GET /billets/1/edit def edit @soldiers = Soldier.all end # POST /billets or /billets.json def create if params[:billet][:soldier_id].present? # If an existing soldier is selected @soldier = Soldier.find(params[:billet][:soldier_id]) else # If a new soldier is being created @soldier = Soldier.new(soldier_params) unless @soldier.save # Handle validation errors for new soldier creation render :new return end end # Assign the room_id to the soldier @soldier.room_id = billet_params[:room_id] # Create the billet and associate it with the soldier @billet = @soldier.billets.build(billet_params) respond_to do format if @billet.save format.html { redirect_to dashboard_billet_url(@billet), notice: "Billet was successfully created." } format.json { render :show, status: :created, location: @billet } else format.html { render :new, status: :unprocessable_entity } format.json { render json: @billet.errors, status: :unprocessable_entity } end end end # PATCH/PUT /billets/1 or /billets/1.json def update respond_to do format if @billet.update(billet_params) format.html { redirect_to dashboard_billet_url(@billet), notice: "Billet was successfully updated." } format.json { render :show, status: :ok, location: @billet } else format.html { render :edit, status: :unprocessable_entity } format.json { render json: @billet.errors, status: :unprocessable_entity } end end end # DELETE /billets/1 or /billets/1.json def destroy @billet.destroy! respond_to do format format.html { redirect_to dashboard_billets_url, notice: "Billet was successfully destroyed." } format.json { head :no_content } end end private # Use callbacks to share common setup or constraints between actions. def set_billet @billet = Billet.find(params[:id]) end # Only allow a list of trusted parameters through. def billet_params params.require(:billet).permit(:check_in_date, :check_out_date, :soldier_id, :room_id, soldier_attributes: [:rank_id, :last_name, :first_name, :phone_number, :gender]) end def soldier_params params.require(:soldier).permit(:rank_id, :last_name, :first_name, :phone_number, :gender) end end 

I add data-soldier-id to my datalist option. Still getting the same result.

Hello everyone! I’ve been roleplaying for about 2 years, I can write better 1-3 paragraphs, and I prefer to write in third person, but can also do first. I am in EST but I’m also active throughout the night as well. If you’re interested don’t hesitate to DM me so we can discuss more of the details!
The city of Gotham is crime ridden, corrupt, and dangerous. Filled with people like The Joker, Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, the list goes on and on. It’s been like that forever, but luckily for the people of Gotham. Someone’s out there trying to make a change in the city, The Batman, The Capes Crusader, The Dark Knight. Gothams feared vigilante, fighting crime both with his feared persona, and with his respected and well known reputation around the city. Bruce Wayne is known as the Prince of Gotham, the wealthiest and most influential man in all of Gotham. His tragic backstory made him become the man he is today. Years ago he put on the cowl for the first time, and ever since it’s become his way of life. He has built up quite the family along the way. Ranging from his father figure/butler, Alfred to his wide array of sidekicks like Dick Grayson or Barbara Gordon. His “bat family” is always changing, whether that be a new adopted son (or a blood related son).
One thing he doesn’t have is a lover, at least long term. Of course there’s the Gotham reporter known as Vicki Vale, or even the daughter of Ra’s Al Ghul, Talia. But none of them hit him quite as hard in the heart as Selina Kyle, AKA Catwoman. Gothams one and only Cat thief. Despite being on opposite ends of the law, Batman and Catwoman have had their fair share of romantic entanglements. But it always ends the same, with Selina riding off into the distance, leaving Bruce curious about her wellbeing for the next few months before she returns.
Things were going to be different this time around. Selina hadn’t been seen for months, but the postcards that showed up on GCPDs doorstep addressed to Batman with a lipstick mark, suggested she was behind some expensive heists in Europe and Asia. But now she had finally turned her attention back to Gotham. Taking back a plant from GCPD’s lockup for the notorious Poison Ivy, Catwoman was Batman’s first suspect when he heard the call. Catching her in the act of returning the plant to Ivy. Their usual games continued back and forth until eventually, just like always. They were back to being partners. Taking down the villains that rule over Gotham, and becoming the queen and king of the city.

I had a breakup that i took very hard this past summer and finally in january i found someone that i clicked with well and we went on a serious of dates and were in close contact for a period of time (this was big for me because i was having trouble meeting anyone for so many months and the dates i would get here and there would just be unsuccessful one offs) Long story short she didint want to be with me and we tried the whole "lets be friends thing" but in my experience that never works, and it didint in this case either, and like so many people do today. She just ghosted me by being very distant, not caring and hard to reach before just unadding me off social media. So my question is how can I turn my dating experience more positive. It feels like at this point I lose someone I really want and then I miss them like crazy forever and then i meet someone new, I am finally happy and then it happens again and at the end of the day all this dating i am doing is simply negative and building a pile of people in my heart that i miss and think about, making me feel worse and worse. Its like one of those things where people try and get rid of some plant thats destroying the local environment with some new bug from somewhere new but then the bug just causes more problems so they bring in a new bird and the bird kinda helps get the bugs but then that bird just causes more damage anyways.

I have a 2 year old and a 5 month old. My dad asked me out for a few drinks today and ended up out 5 hours past the time unofficially agreed. I didn't even want to go out initially but she suggested it would be good to get out as it's been months since I done anything. For reference both me and my partner barely drink maybe like 3 or 4 times a year. Our downfall is that when we do drink with or without each other we usually end up on cocaine. I share with a friend and realistically have about 0.3 or 0.4g max in a night IF I do. I also smoke weed which is why I ended up out in the first place. I rarely go a day without which I'm fully aware lots will criticise. However I've smoked it pretty much daily since 16. I'm 36 now. From my perspective I use it as a calming mechanism and just daily relief. I don't handle stress well and I'm a firm believer that if I don't smoke like I was when I was younger. I will get into more trouble as I'm like 100% certain I have some sort of personality disorder. I don't get along with most people on reality although people who know me would say I do. But its an act and a learned skill from being young. I can talk to all walks of life having dealt and been among all walks of life so that is my one thing I have going for me. Anyway off topic but back to the night out. I went to pick up smoke but as my dad lives nearby he said come for one pint. I can hand on heart say in the 11 years me and my partner have been together it's happened max like 2 or 3 times. Anyway I stayed out longer than I should have. But next thing you know she's calling my family at 1 in the morning asking where I am what am I doing etc. Personally I don't think this is right checking up and calling in on me when she knew the whole night where I was and who I was with. Like I said we have two young children but we have been at each others throats for a long time now. Basically since the eldest was born. He's 3 next week. I get this can be normal when kids are involved and getting wrong for being out late tonight wasn't really what bugged me. It was how much she kicked off for having to tend to them both while I was out yet she always gets support from family when she's alone e.g. her mam/sister or anyone friend wise willing to come round. But never alone. But for me when I am alone with them I never have any help. All childcare vanishes without a trace and yes it's normal but she sees herself as worse off even though I work a hell of a lot and 99% of my shifts start at 6am. So it's difficult to help out on night feeds. Also I lost my best friend last year and took it really bad tbh. Took 2 months off work and the same happened. All chdcsre disappeared (I know it's not her fault) but it made recovery so much harder not having time to think or deal with it. So I went back to work as it seemed the easier option and had more head space weirdly. Anyway on top of that I do pretty much everything in the house chore wise. Dishes. Hoovering. Dusting. General tidying. Washing up and reorganising general clutter. Also gardening, bins and any type of redecorating e.g painting plastering flooring you name it I've done it. She doesn't do any of these and the mere mention of her tidying up results in a long 'talk' about how I always moan at her for not doing anything. I'm ran down to the bones now. One thing I will say is she deals with the nighttime stuff for the newborn. And me the two year old. Who by the way wakes a minimum 2 times per night still for milk so I'm hoping that phase is nearly over. Anyway this is used as a justification for everything else I do kind of as an equal. But she knows I can't help too much with our new born during the night due to my shifts starting time. I'm up at 10 to 5 nearly every day. Then have to pedal 30 mins to work etc. Also she is still off on maternity too on a side note. I guess after such a long rant. My main focus is this. Should I tolerate someone who doesn't appreciate everything I do even though she is in fact a lovely woman a lot of the time. Very organised in her job but not at home so much. In 11 years she has hoovered once and I genuinely had to show her how to use it. She literally only touches a few dishes and might do the odd clothes wash once in a while. She's amazing with the kids and super organised for trips events etc with them that kind of thing. And if i make a big enough fuss aboit my own personal feelings she does go above and beyond during that period to help. But we clash too much over small things these days regardless of all this. I cant handle the intense pressure of doing everything constantly whilst she can't handle my moaning at her that nothing ever gets done. But from my perspective im in a postion where anyone would be frustrated not just me. My days consist of work 6-3 then full on running around with my kids til they're knackered for bed. Bare in mind I don't drive so have to pedal 30 mins to work and back every day and it's tiring. Sorry for the repeat rant here but honestly unless you have to do it you kinda don't realise how tiring it is doing that everyday whilst being up half the night still with the 2 year old as he's always been such a terrible sleeper.
Not going to lie I have kinda lost my point here. I'm just frustrated with life and unfortunately have constant negative thoughts about you know what. Thinking about the easy way out etc. But my kids are my life now and I couldn't bare thinking of them struggling without me so it's a non-starter but it's always a thought regardless. One more thing is we are badly in debt. Both of our faults. She has always been terrible with spending and had money and debt problems from the day we met stemming from years earlier with council tax etc. She always refuses to talk money and it always gets ugly when I suggest the idea of a conversation about it as I absolutely HATE debt. We both earn well but the house we bought required literally a complete renovation from wiring and boilers to plastering and flooring kitchen bathroom renewal etc. The whack basically. So from moving in day we acquired debt but nothing we couldn't afford. Child 1 comes and we have been overspending and now into overdrafts etc at this point being too careless basically. Next thing you know we are still doing OK but gas and electric bikes came in. We got stung for £200 a month more god knows how. Then inflation at an apparent 9% (more like 50%) ate into our spare income even more. But my partner doesn't consider this and continues to spend as if we are well-off and refuses to engage in conversation. She does this by overspending on all occasions and due to big family and friend groups on both sides this is a regular thing. Overdrafts loans and credit cards and now maxed out 4 years after moving in. What was 20k debt on moving day has become 50k 4 years later. Cost of living higher than ever and 2 kids that were never a factor money wise earlier in our relationship. Probably a negative £500 per month between us at the moment and the shifts getting very close to the fan now. At our limits money wise and stress wise I'm at a loss. Oh shit I nearly forgot the most ridiculous part yet. Her debt has increased a lot yes. Probably 20k. Although I somehow only had the shared debt initially for the housework. I did always help pay her debts too but that's a side note really. My own 20k debt came from a gambling addiction I developed after my friends death. I never thought I'd be that guy and my worst sin to date is hiding it from everyone. I went off the rails for about 3 month and because I was off work too it made it easy to gamble all day on the side going out for a cigarette or extra toilet trips etc any small excuse for 5 minutes to gamble. I ended up with 3 loans totalling 20k. I fucked myself well and truly before I managed to put a stop to it. My partner never realised how much I pulled us out the shit in reality and now I'm fucked I can't do it anymore and I'm too scared to tell her. I'm at my lowest in my life and God knows why but I've chosen to spill everything on a random post here. Desperate times desperate measures I guess. Anyway as I type into the nothingness that no one will read I feel a millionth percent better for letting some out. It's a messed up situation where we can lose our house etc and our family could break apart etc I don't know what would happen. But I just need to somehow get through this. I feel like I've only covered about 40 or 50% of this story but it's all I can manage for now. Bordering middle aged random man in need of an outlet. Not the type of person who'd do this but hey ho here it is.

She was my highschool crush and loosely in my families circle of friends. To this day, ive never felt so strongly about a person as i did the first time i met her. There was instant mutual attraction. Years later, we reconnected and began dating right after highschool. We were together for 4 years. Durring COVID she broke off our engagement and tried her best to ghost me. I was in my early 20s, had no aspirations, no money, and unable to navigate my emotions properly. She was much of the same. We were young and in love and eventually, that faded for her.
Looking back, the relationship was not as incredible and intense as it felt while I was in it. Now that I am in my late 20s, I completely get not wanting to be married so young. But at the time it crushed me. I went into a downward spiral. I drank daily and began smoking weed or doing psychedelics to the point i was high for about 1.5 years straight. (I was sober prior to the breakup.)
I spent 4 months post break up trying to reach out, to fix things, to understand what happened. But I was met with bleak and cold responses. She followed all of her exes and made it a point to show she was dating around days after we broke up. I gave up on trying to reconcile after she asked to meet up but changed her mind the next day. I blocked her number and began trying to heal. We have not spoken since 9/1/2020.
In the past 4 years, I've started a career in finance, regulated my vices, moved an hour away, and lost 40lbs. I finally feel like I am shedding the person I was and have escaped the family/relationship traumas.
I think about her every day still. I've not dated seriously since our relationship. I feel unable to love anyone else. I find meeting new people increasingly hard. Every "situationship" I find myself in ends because of my lack of commitment.
she's tried reaching out in the past, but I've never responded or read the messages. She's attempted to follow my socials, which have been more or less inactive since the day we broke up.
Today, she attempted to follow me on Instagram again. Curiosity finally got to me and i checked out her profile. Turns out she's been traveling the world, getting a degree, and is all around living her best life. ( of course this is deserved. She's a hard working person, but the social media envy has me down about myself.)
I don't have any intrest in talking to her or allowing her to follow me. But this has caused so much anxiety. It's remembering the person you've fantasized about in your head for years is intact real and has infact continued to exist.
Should I reach out and attempt to get closure? Is she following me in an attempt to gain some sort of control? Is this a move to make an ex jealous (like she did to me?)
This has made me realize i am not over this relationship. It's opened old wounds and has made me anxious. I just want to heal like she has. It feels childish to still hold feelings.

Posting here because coparenting auto removed it as venting.
So co-parent and I have one child, D14, been 50/50 for 7 years. I wasn't letting D14 (13 at the time) date this boy, so he and my daughter made a plan that he would broke into the house so I would call Police, then D14 made false allegations of sexual abuse against me and got removed from my home. Boy was charged for breaking in but continued to date daughter. Police and CAS investigated and found out my daughter had lied so she could go stay with mom where she would be allowed to date the boy. Mom knew they were dating but had me under the impression that they weren't. I found abusive/controlling messages from bf to my daughter, shared with mom, and eventually after several months my daughter broke up with BF. During this time, mom also started alienating child (main reason I got 50/50 initially) and I had very little parenting times from time to time, sometimes a month or so without any contact. When we saw each other it was mostly to buy my daughter clothes, take her to get her nails done, etc, materialistic things). Eventually daughter agreed to return to schedule but ex took child from school to Police and made more false allegations. I was never charged and got fed up and hired the same lawyer as before to file for contempt. The lawyers got us into mediation, and mediator got us back on the regular schedule. During this time I didn't have overnight, D14 picked up a number of bad habits. Vaping, skipping class, etc, etc and now we are back to the 50/50 schedule but mediator and mom is saying D14 is still playing us, and that I'm being the cool parent/friend instead of parent. Essentially, I'm allowing D14 new boyfriend to come over (I've met him), and D14 to go over her friends house, have sleep over, etc. I don't view it as that, as I like my daughter being open to me about all these things and me knowing who her friends are, etc. She basically tells me everything at this time. The major restriction I have made clear to her is for her to attend all her classes and get caught up with missing work and that she is going to bed in time to get sleep and get to school on time in morning. So far she has complied. The thing is, I can't very assertively lay down other rules because when I tired this previously coparent just undermined the rules and lets D14 do what I said no to. So for example, if I say absolutely no vaping, mom will allow it - and has been all this time. I should add, where I live, 70% of students vape starting in grade 7. Vape dealers all over the schools and basically the students find a way to do it anyways. I'm not sure how to tackle this of going back to being a parent without pushing D14 away again by appearing as the strict parent, trying to balance D14 having her autonomy as a teenager but also trying to set rules without them causing D14 to just leave again and be allowed to do whatever she wants at mom, while mom saying I need to set rules. It's a very tricky situation.

I have e credits that expire in a month, and no trip plans in the near future what can I do about it?

1. If I buy a ticket for October and cancel it does it give a new expiration date?

2 can I buy a ticket for my sister? If I do that does the credit transfer to them?

So co-parent and I have one child, D14, been 50/50 for 7 years. I wasn't letting D14 (13 at the time) date this boy, so he and my daughter made a plan that he would broke into the house so I would call Police, then D14 made false allegations of sexual abuse against me and got removed from my home. Boy was charged for breaking in but continued to date daughter. Police and CAS investigated and found out my daughter had lied so she could go stay with mom where she would be allowed to date the boy. Mom knew they were dating but had me under the impression that they weren't.
I found abusive/controlling messages from bf to my daughter, shared with mom, and eventually after several months my daughter broke up with BF. During this time, mom also started alienating child (main reason I got 50/50 initially) and I had very little parenting times from time to time, sometimes a month or so without any contact. When we saw each other it was mostly to buy my daughter clothes, take her to get her nails done, etc, materialistic things). Eventually daughter agreed to return to schedule but ex took child from school to Police and made more false allegations. I was never charged and got fed up and hired the same lawyer as before to file for contempt. The lawyers got us into mediation, and mediator got us back on the regular schedule.
During this time I didn't have overnight, D14 picked up a number of bad habits. Vaping, skipping class, etc, etc and now we are back to the 50/50 schedule but mediator and mom is saying D14 is still playing us, and that I'm being the cool parent/friend instead of parent. Essentially, I'm allowing D14 new boyfriend to come over (I've met him), and D14 to go over her friends house, have sleep over, etc. I don't view it as that, as I like my daughter being open to me about all these things and me knowing who her friends are, etc. She basically tells me everything at this time. The major restriction I have made clear to her is for her to attend all her classes and get caught up with missing work and that she is going to bed in time to get sleep and get to school on time in morning. So far she has complied.
The thing is, I can't very assertively lay down other rules because when I tired this previously coparent just undermined the rules and lets D14 do what I said no to. So for example, if I say absolutely no vaping, mom will allow it - and has been all this time. I should add, where I live, 70% of students vape starting in grade 7. Vape dealers all over the schools and basically the students find a way to do it anyways.
I'm not sure how to tackle this of going back to being a parent without pushing D14 away again by appearing as the strict parent, trying to balance D14 having her autonomy as a teenager but also trying to set rules without them causing D14 to just leave again and be allowed to do whatever she wants at mom, while mom saying I need to set rules. It's a very tricky situation.

Reddit (repost with additional details in spots, trying this sub too)
WS(Wayward spouse - the person leaving or cheating)
AP(Affair Partner)
Just really looking for outside perspective and trying all the relevant subs.
I’m really unsure how to move forward.
My WS, B(f41) and I(m36) are currently taking it day by day. Know each other for 14 years, together and dating for 9, 8 years married. 12 years since we had our first kid.
Some back story, obviously there were issues in the marriage. Some I thought I was working on or making progress on. Others I was stagnant on.
We had 1 separation prior to this. It was the culmination of trying to have an open marriage and B falling for her partner, and me being me.
We got back together about a year and a half later, and have been together since(2021).
I thought we were moving forward until an ex gf of hers came back into her life. The ex turns into the AP.
So now I’m 2024 I think we’re doing okay. Rocky in some areas but okay. I was wrong. AP texted B in early Feb saying AP’s sister had died, someone who B had once been close too. AP and B would go out and I would be irritated or annoyed because AP also has a partner. I didn’t understand why APs partner couldn’t support her, why it needed to be my wife, when she’s(AP) an ex. It just made me uncomfortable and I let that boil over and accused her of stuff. She says nothing happened before 3/24 but I’ve found things that contradict that. That she may have actually cheated before they slept together after she asked to leave.
Long story short, APs sister had died but they were also talking about getting back together and how horrible and controlling I am etc. while also being physical. Kissing. Staying out late. Sexting. With AP and trying to tell me nothing was going on.
Now I won’t deny and say I haven’t been a shitty husband. I have been. Even currently up to Feb, I was slacking. I was okay pretending I was making an effort. Doing 1 small step to her 10.
Likewise I was dismissive over the years and never really “heard her” until this whole situation happened.
So they start hanging out more and more and suddenly she wants a divorce and wants to go out with AP every other day. Planning a life. Looking at apartments. Etc.
There’s a few things wrong with this: AP has openly stated she doesn’t like kids. We have 3. AP has openly stated she doesn’t like most pets. We have several. AP is a drug addict. Her drug of choice are narcotics, Vicodin and Oxy. She says it’s for her chronic pain on which, her prescription of Tramadol does nothing. So she “supplements” by buying illegally (supposedly only from family friend).
Anyways, 3/29 I found a photo of the drug use(a text from AP to B that was a tin of pills. There were 8/9 Vicodin and 3 Oxycodone), sent to B, saying she has one to give her too. B is a recovering addict. 13 years clean. Almost accepted. Said “You’re so good to me.”
B and AP try to play off the drug use as pain and pain management clinics not being helpful. Which I can’t speak to. I don’t have chronic pain. So I spoke with Law Enforcement, showed them what I was worried about and asked about an Order for Protection/Investigation. I did this before confronting her or before asking her about it. I wanted to be sure that if things went sideways I had a plan in place to protect myself. So I couldn’t be blamed for the drug use. Etc.
Confront her. Ask her. She flies off the handle and turns it around on me. Saying that it’s my fault and that I went through her iPad. (She changed her passcode well before this so I don’t have it. She left it unlocked and it was one of the first messages I saw that evening.) and that I should’ve come to her first.
Fast forward and we’re planning the divorce (income split, kind of an idea what we need to do moving forward, etc) and I’m saying that because of what I found, I’m not willing to let AP be around the kids until she can pass a UA and is sober for at least a year. I’d like that in the divorce decree. At this point we had been working together and I hadn’t moved on the OFP. I had been transparent.
Which leads us to the issue. She wasn’t. She was telling AP basically that we’d be divorced and she’d be good. Once I told B, that this was going to happen, either through the courts or through us agreeing on something, but it wasn’t something I was going to move on.
She said I was threatening her and forcing her to do what I say. I said only in this regard. Move. Leave. Here’s a list of items you’ll have to pay for, Etc. but I’m trying to keep my kids safe, and that means not being around someone currently abusing narcotics.
Then she says I shouldn’t worry about the kids because she’s their mom and she’ll take care of them. And that I’m an asshole for even suggesting she would jeopardize them.
She called the cops. Told them I was controlling and threatening and intimidating. They came. I showed them everything I had, told them my concerns, expressed what I said to her. They said it seemed like I was doing everything right. Tho they advised I file the OFP and turn over names and dates etc.
They told B, at the end, that because of her job and the kids that she “needed to stop fucking around with this shit.”
Well I guess that may have struck something in her because she said she’s done with AP. Tho she has still been talking to AP, AP found out what happened and has been going pretty low contact. Often leaving B on read. I know this because B has shown me their messages because she wants me to know I can trust her. Including through today.
She admitted the night the cops came that she had actively been lying to me. That she had orchestrated a text message convo to look like I was going to be getting what I wanted (something previously both she and AP had been against, a drug test).
So she admitted to lying about that. To deleting shit. To gas lighting me. This isn’t something she’s ever done before. Admitted to lying to me. Even when she’s been caught mid-lie. It’s always been dismissed or played off. This is the first time she’s actually been honest with me. And since then she and AP have had low contact.
She’s told me she doesn’t know now if we’re separated or going to divorce. That she wants to take it day by day. She says that if in the coming months, the changes I’m making to myself stick, and things get better, that she may stay. I’m unsure how to feel about this. We have 3 kids. I love her more than anything. But? I don’t think she would be so cold that she’d use me until she and her AP could be together.
On that note. She and AP are talking still, but everything has been platonic. She’s shown me her messages and I know she hasn’t deleted anything. We even spoke today and she admitted that sometimes she slips up and says “I love you” or whatever. But that’s because of how quickly she let her walls down. Let AP back into her life. That hurts. You know. Because I feel even now taking it day by day, I’m not being chosen. I’m an option. Yet the fact she’s still here, being engaged, etc. It can’t be an act right? I mean it could but I don’t imagine she would with how serious I am about the kids and having things documented.
I’m in therapy now. I’m on new meds for my anxiety. I’m seeing another Dr. to hopefully get a diagnosis of ASD or something so I can learn to interact more appropriately with her and my peers. I’m listening to her. Actively. Keeping in mind that words are not always words and I should look at the context and possible emotional context in the words. That’s been difficult but I’m learning that sometimes when she says that she’s broken, it’s because she wants a hug or physical comfort. I shouldn’t need to ask if she wants one or what I can do to comfort her. I am trying to listen more and act versus asking questions and then acting on the answers.
She felt she was always needing to tell me what to do or say. it’s been a sticking point in our marriage at times. Even though I am truly unsure at times what the appropriate course of action is. Hence being in therapy now.
We’ve slept together 3 times this month. Which is crazy because before it was once every few months. If at all. I think that’s a good sign?
I’m trying to help more around the house. Did a deep clean and threw a bunch of shit away. I’m committed to this change. To being better for her but also for me.
But I also don’t know if she’s doing this just to appease me. She’s said thank you. She’s slept with me. She’s more talkative and engaged with me. More fun like we used to have. But on the flip side she had no where else to go. No backup plan. She just started working FT but she doesn’t think she’ll be able to afford anything on her own.
I’m not sure where I stand. Or if I should take it day by day. I know I say I want to be with her and I think, I know that’s true. Even if I don’t want to admit I may lose her, act like I’m okay taking it day by day, the thought of her not being in my life as my partner, is terrifying and sad. So I know, if she asks to reconcile, I will. Because I love her. Because I know that while I’m not responsible for her cheating or lying etc, I’m responsible for the way I behaved and acted.
Idk if we can’t survive this. I love her more than anything. Even now I love her. I don’t want to lose her. Still I don’t think I should have to be a choice. I understand how it came about, and I understand she was or maybe is even now, ready to walk, and I’m just being delusional.
Yet she’s trying. Or appears to be. (This is what’s so hard for me).
I guess on paper it looks like we should divorce. My mother says so. My therapist says I should consider it.
Yet it seems like there may be something here worth trying for. The things I’m doing around the home and for the kids seem to make her happier. To see I’m trying to be consistent. She says it’s helped taken the pressure off her. That in our talks she’s happy I finally acknowledged things. Apologized for things. Actually listened and agreed with her. She’s appreciated that.
My therapist says whatever I do I should do for me. My counter was a lot of the stuff we’re doing now (splitting income by % earned, me actively cleaning every night with her, laundry, etc) is not something I’ve done or we’ve done before. Nor have I made any moves on therapy until recently, or to control my MH more.
So if I/we try this and still fail? Sure. It’s doomed, but at least I can say I took all the steps I, me, the Betrayed, to fix myself for myself but also for my marriage and my family. But this seems like it’ll have a shot. Like it could work. If you’ve made it this far thank you. ANY advice would be welcome.
It’s a fluffin’ mess. I know that. But any advice. Thanks.
~Ish

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Fan Translations

• 12RIVEN -the Ψcliminal of integral- - 42% translated
  
• Aikano ~Yukizora no Triangle~ - Common Route translated
  
• Aiyoku No Eustia - In progress 100% TL patch leaked, project to continue, 100% Translated/edited/TLC
  
• Akatsuki no Goei ~Principal-tachi no Kyuujitsu~ - 100% translated and edited, 70.11% through QA
  
• Akatsuki no Goei ~Tsumibukaki Shuumatsuron~ - 100% translated, 37,354 lines edited (61.45%), 4,508 (7.42%) through QA
  
• Axanael - "Overwhelming majority" of the text translated, including the main story, some side content remains, in need of editing
  
• CHAOS;HEAD Love Chu Chu! - 70.54% translated, 22.70% edited
  
• CHAOS;CHILD Love Chu Chu!! - 100% translated, 55.30% edited
  
• Chicchakunai Mon - 100% translated and 39.5% edited
  
• Chusingura 46+1 - 35329/82770 (42.68%) lines translated, Kuranosuke route partial patch released
  
• Deatte 5-fun wa Ore no Mono! Jikan Teishi to Atropos - Common Route patch released
  
• Dragon Knight 4 - 60% translated, playtesting also ongoing
  
• Eiga Go-toubun no Hanayome ~Kimi to Sugoshita Itsutsu no Omoide~ - 100% translated and edited
  
• Fate/Stay Night - Partial patch released with a new translation for Fate/UBW/9 days of HF
  
• Enrenchuu no Toshishita Kanojo ga Onna ni Ueta Osuzaru-domo no Gakuen de Koubi Aite ni Sareteta. - 10% translated
  
• GinIro Haruka - Released
  
• Haruka na Sora - Sora and Yahiro routes translated, Kozue 75% translated, Sora 90% edited
  
• Honoo no Haramase Oppai Nyuu Doukyuusei ~Oppai mo Haramase! New Class Zen'in Harama-sensation!~ - Picked up, porting to Ren'Py
  
• If My Heart Had Wings: Snow Presents - 100% translated, 100% edited
  
• Jisatsu no Tame no 101 no Houhou - 17% translated
  
• Junketsu Megami-Sama - 2nd Alpha patch released, Astarotte route finishing up
  
• Kaseki no Uta - Translation: 15389/15389 (100%)
  
• Ken ga Kimi - 58% translated
  
• Koukan no Toriko-Tachi - Prologue, common, and Cuckold Play route translated, Swinging Route 35%, Yukari POV 40%
  
• Kud Wafter AA Version - 23,835/31,579 (75.5%) Lines translated, 18+ Version 19,240 / 33,113 (58.1) lines translated
  
• Kusarihime ~Euthanasia~ - Translation finished, fully edited
  
• Lover Able - 100% translated and edited, 8466/32258 lines approved (26.26%)
  
• Lucky Star ~Ryouou Gakuen Outousai~ - episode 1 patch released
  
• Maji de Watashi ni Koishinasai! A - Ryouken Route After - 1942/3,494 (55.58%) lines translated
  
• Maji de Watashi ni Koishinasai! A Plus Disk - Preparing files
  
• Manakashi no Yuri wa Akaku Somaru - 66% translated
  
• Miagete Goran, Yozora no Hoshi o - 1 of 4 routes translation finished for the restoration patch, Houkiboshi Hika 2 of 4 H-scenes translated
  
• Nursery Rhyme - 100% translated and edited, text insertion 100% complete, testing ongoing
  
• Pure Pure - 100% translated, needs proofreading, partial patch released, all routes have been inserted
  
• Sakura no Uta - Chapter I 30% translated
  
• Sakura No Toki - 5.11% translated, 4.58% edited
  
• Sakura Wars 2 - Demo patch released, ADV, Battle, and "Long Day in the Theater" mode fully translated, disc 1 text inserted
  
• Sen no Hatou, Tsukisome no Kouki - Both original and fan disc 100% translated, in need of editing
  
• Shirotsume Yubiwa - 100% translated, 50% beta patch released
  
• Shizuku - 120/197 script files translated, 20/197 edited
  
• Taima Seiko Alice - 35% translated, 35% edited, 35% proofread, 1st partial patch out
  
• Tenshi no Inai 12-gatsu - 100% translated, Editing ongoing
  
• To Heart - 720/993 scripts translated, 200/993 edited
  
• Tokimeki Memorial 2 - Being translated
  
• Tokimeki Memorial Girls Side 4 - 55% translated
  
• Tsui no Sora Remake - 100% translated and edited, entering QC
  
• Umi kara Kuru Mono - 91/138 scripts translated
  
• Ushinawareta Mirai o Motomete - 44.9% Translated
  
• Yosuga no Sora - Translation finished, editing and TLC ongoing, Total: TL 100% TLC 71% ED 55%, Common/Kazuha/Motoka/Sora routes fully edited
  

Official work
MangaGamer

• The Pillagers of Raillore - Out of Beta
  
• Ciconia - Phase 1 Released
  
• Hadaka Shitsuji fandisc - Picked up
  
• Rance 03 - 73% translated, 41% edited
  
• Rance X - 90% translated, 5% edited
  
• Luckydog1 - Translation nearly complete
  
• Funbag Fantasy 4 - 80% translated, 78% edited
  
• Eve of the 12th Month - 100% translated and 88% edited
  
• DEAD DAYS - 100% translated and edited
  
• Beat Valkyrie Ixseal - 84% translated and 81% edited
  
• Welcome to a Sexy, Open World - 92% translated and 86% edited
  

JAST

• Sumaga- Slow progress ongoing
  
• Katahane - Progress being made again
  
• Django - Not actively making progress
  
• Tokyo Hero Project - Translation finished, dealing with bugs
  
• Machine Child - Still being developed
  
• Yomegami: My Sweet Goddess - 100% translated
  
• Yamizome Liberator - Picked up
  
• Mojika: Truth Rears Its Ugly Head - Picked up
  
• Djibril - 100% translated, in editing
  
• Sisters: Last Day of Summer - June 3rd release
  
• Masquerade: Hell Academy - Through 1st QA pass, in 2nd QA pass
  
• Paradise - Released
  

Age titles

• Kiminozo - Aiming for a Summer 2024 release

Sekai/Denpa

• Kuri Kuri Click! ~My Summer Vacation!~ - May 3rd release
  
• Happy Saint Sheol - 100% edited, 40% QA, waiting on build, Demo released
  
• Harumade Kururu - Waiting on build
  
• Rewrite+ Harvest Festa - 100% translated, 40% edited
  
• Subete no Koi ni, Hanabata o. - 50% translated
  
• Sumire - Picked up
  
• Sanarara R - 100% translated and edited, waiting on build
  
• Glass - Picked up
  
• New Glass - Picked up
  
• Karakara 3 - 100% translated and edited, 70% engine work
  
• Yume to Iro de Dekiteiru - 100% translated, 35% edited
  
• Zutto Mae Kara Joshi Deshita - 100% translated, in editing
  
• Gakkou no Seiiki - 100% translated and edited, Waiting on build
  
• Chiisana Kanojo no Serenade - 75% translated, 35% edited
  
• Hoshizora e Kakaru Hashi - 10% translated
  
• Hoshizora e Kakaru Hashi AA - Announced
  
• Akaneiro ni Somaru Saka - 50% translated
  
• Hamidashi Creative - Announced
  
• Inupara - In Development
  
• Nekopara After La Vraie Familie - In Development
  
• Raspberry Cube - Announced
  
• NEKO-NIN exHeart SPIN - 100% translated and edited, waiting on build
  

VisualArts

• Summer Pockets Reflection Blue - 2024 release

Nekonyan

• Dracu Riot - Waiting on Build, Release date announcement on hold until after Angel Chaos
  
• Melty Moment - 80% translated
  
• Aoi Tori - April 30th release
  
• Fureraba Complete edition - Vita exclusive content to be added to Fureraba a couple months after the fandisc release
  
• Floral Flowlove - 100% translated, 70% edited, enging port ongoing
  
• Kakenuke Seishun Sparking - 80% translated, 70% edited, QA started
  
• Love, Elections, & Chocolate -100% translated and edited, Engine port nearly finished, entering QA shortly
  
• Love Love Love, Burning in my Heart! - 100% translated and 74% edited
  
• Ready or Not: The Deadline is Coming! - 100% translated, 99% edited, waiting on build
  
• Mysteries of the Heart: The Psychic Detective Case Files - 100% translated and edited, engine work in progress
  
• Angel Chaos RE-BOOT! - Delayed after Steam rejection
  
• Secret Project 2 - 100% translated and edited, queued for Unity port
  
• Secret Project 3 - 100% translated and edited, 50% though QA
  

PQube

• SINce Memories: Off the Starry Sky - Announced

Dualtail

• Venus Blood Ragnarok - Kickstarter starting in May

Frontwing

• Sharin no Kuni - Working to resolve remaining issues
  
• Lilja and Natsuka: Painting Lies - June 6th release
  
• Everlasting Flowers - June 27th release date
  
• Revue Starlight El Dorado - August 8th release
  

Fakku

• Two Beasts Or Not To Beast!! - 2.0 version, editing in progress
  
• Forbidden Ward - In Pre-Production
  

Saikey Studios (mix of official/unofficial)

• The Reason For Your Smile - Steam page up, Happy and NTR routes translated
  
• Toaru Hahaoya no Ayamachi ~Yukari Hen~ - 50% translated
  

HyoukanOpera

• Knight Case Files - Trial released, upcoming release

MAGES. GAMES

• Corpse Party II - Darkness Distortion - 2024 release

Voltage Inc.

• Project Code Kaleido Tower - 2024 release
  
• Project Code Neon Mafia - 2024 release
  
• Project Code Vampire Hunter - 2025 release
  

Aksys

• Radiant Tale -Fanfare- - June 27th release
  
• Tales from Toyotoki: Arrival of the Witch - Summer release
  
• Virche Evermore -EpiC: Lycoris- - Fall release
  
• Despera Drops - 2025 release
  

B-cluster

• Re;quartz Raid- 2024 release

MediBang Inc.-

• Cocktail Magic - Upcoming release

Kamitsubaki Studio

• KAMITSUBAKI CITY REGENERATE - Upcoming release

Dayu Zixun

• Voice Love on Air - Upcoming release

Kemco Corporation

• Horrific Xanatorium - Released

Shiravune

• Amazing Grace -What color is your attribute? - Released
  
• Taimanin Yukikaze - April 30th release
  
• Mashiroiro Symphony HD -Love is Pure White- - May 2nd release
  
• Mashiroiro Symphony HD -Sana Edition- - May 2nd release
  
• NYO-NIN-JIMA -My New Life in Charge of a Tropical Island- - 2024 release
  
• Kara no Shoujo III - Announced
  
• Destiny Star Girlfriend 2 - Q2 2024 release
  
• Real Hentai Situation! 2 - 2024 release
  
• Sacrifice Villains - Announced
  
• AMANATSU ~Perfect Edition~ - Announced
  

Kagura Games

• Yoru ga Kuru! -Square of the Moon- Remastered - 2024 release
  
• Forsaken Quartet - Upcoming release
  

Aniplex

• Tsukihime -A piece of blue glass moon - June 27th release
  
• Fate/stay night REMASTERED - 2024 release
  
• Hookah Haze - 2024 release
  
• Tanetsumi no Uta - 2024 release
  

Spike Chunsoft

• The Quintessential Quintuplets: Memories of a Quintessential Summer - Announced
  
• The Quintessential Quintuplets: Five Memories Spent With You - Announced
  

Love Lab

• Ever Maiden - 2024 release

DLsite

• Friendly lab - unlock(); - Upcoming release
  
• Club Suicide - Picked up
  

Idea Factory

• 9 R.I.P. - Fall 2024 release
  
• Date A Live: Ren Dystopia - 2024 release
  
• Cupid Parasite: Sweet and Spicy Darling - 2024 release
  

CRAFTWORK

• Geminism - English version announced

Harukaze

• Monkeys! - English release planned

Moonchime

• Haunted Obachestra Vol.1 Awaking - Upcoming release

Alice In Dissonance

• Fault Milestone 2 - Side Below - Upcoming release

G-mode

• Shinjuku Soumei - Demo Released, May 24th release

HyoukanOpera

• Knight Case Files - January release

MiKandi Japan

• Libra of the Vampire Princess - All versions of the patches in testing

Artlink

• Married Woman Hypnosis Counseling - Announced
  
• A Tale of Hard Nipples ~The secret to this town's confectionery's delicious sweets is rich, fresh milk~ - Announced
  
• Professional Married Woman Cuckolder - Announced
  

PRODUCTION PENCIL

• Paradise Cleaning! -Tutor X Hypnosis - January release

072 Project

• Princess Paradise - 2024 release

F&C

• NTR with hypnosis application - Upcoming release

Eroge Japan

• Trap Yuri Garden - 2024 release

Tensei Games

• Unfaithful Wife: Ayano's "Netorare Report" - My gentle wife is fucking another man - Q2 2024 release

GRAVITY GAME ARISE

• Tokyo Psychodemic - Demo released, May 30th release

Dark [Word I can't say due to Automod deleting my posts:(]

• Master & Succubi Hentai Lessons 2 - April release

MintLip

• Him, the Smile & Bloom - August 8th release

Other

• NarKarma EngineA - Announced, in development

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Reddit (repost with additional details in spots, trying this sub too)
I’m really unsure how to move forward.
My WS, B(f41) and I(m36) are currently taking it day by day. Know each other for 14 years, together and dating for 9, 8 years married. 12 years since we had our first kid.
Some back story, obviously there were issues in the marriage. Some I thought I was working on or making progress on. Others I was stagnant on.
We had 1 separation prior to this. It was the culmination of trying to have an open marriage and B falling for her partner, and me being me.
We got back together about a year and a half later, and have been together since(2021).
I thought we were moving forward until an ex gf of hers came back into her life. The ex turns into the AP.
So now I’m 2024 I think we’re doing okay. Rocky in some areas but okay. I was wrong. AP texted B in early Feb saying AP’s sister had died, someone who B had once been close too. AP and B would go out and I would be irritated or annoyed because AP also has a partner. I didn’t understand why APs partner couldn’t support her, why it needed to be my wife, when she’s(AP) an ex. It just made me uncomfortable and I let that boil over and accused her of stuff. She says nothing happened before 3/24 but I’ve found things that contradict that. That she may have actually cheated before they slept together after she asked to leave.
Long story short, APs sister had died but they were also talking about getting back together and how horrible and controlling I am etc. while also being physical. Kissing. Staying out late. Sexting. With AP and trying to tell me nothing was going on.
Now I won’t deny and say I haven’t been a shitty husband. I have been. Even currently up to Feb, I was slacking. I was okay pretending I was making an effort. Doing 1 small step to her 10.
Likewise I was dismissive over the years and never really “heard her” until this whole situation happened.
So they start hanging out more and more and suddenly she wants a divorce and wants to go out with AP every other day. Planning a life. Looking at apartments. Etc.
There’s a few things wrong with this: AP has openly stated she doesn’t like kids. We have 3. AP has openly stated she doesn’t like most pets. We have several. AP is a drug addict. Her drug of choice are narcotics, Vicodin and Oxy. She says it’s for her chronic pain on which, her prescription of Tramadol does nothing. So she “supplements” by buying illegally (supposedly only from family friend).
Anyways, 3/29 I found a photo of the drug use(a text from AP to B that was a tin of pills. There were 8/9 Vicodin and 3 Oxycodone), sent to B, saying she has one to give her too. B is a recovering addict. 13 years clean. Almost accepted. Said “You’re so good to me.”
B and AP try to play off the drug use as pain and pain management clinics not being helpful. Which I can’t speak to. I don’t have chronic pain. So I spoke with Law Enforcement, showed them what I was worried about and asked about an Order for Protection/Investigation. I did this before confronting her or before asking her about it. I wanted to be sure that if things went sideways I had a plan in place to protect myself. So I couldn’t be blamed for the drug use. Etc.
Confront her. Ask her. She flies off the handle and turns it around on me. Saying that it’s my fault and that I went through her iPad. (She changed her passcode well before this so I don’t have it. She left it unlocked and it was one of the first messages I saw that evening.) and that I should’ve come to her first.
Fast forward and we’re planning the divorce (income split, kind of an idea what we need to do moving forward, etc) and I’m saying that because of what I found, I’m not willing to let AP be around the kids until she can pass a UA and is sober for at least a year. I’d like that in the divorce decree. At this point we had been working together and I hadn’t moved on the OFP. I had been transparent.
Which leads us to the issue. She wasn’t. She was telling AP basically that we’d be divorced and she’d be good. Once I told B, that this was going to happen, either through the courts or through us agreeing on something, but it wasn’t something I was going to move on.
She said I was threatening her and forcing her to do what I say. I said only in this regard. Move. Leave. Here’s a list of items you’ll have to pay for, Etc. but I’m trying to keep my kids safe, and that means not being around someone currently abusing narcotics.
Then she says I shouldn’t worry about the kids because she’s their mom and she’ll take care of them. And that I’m an asshole for even suggesting she would jeopardize them.
She called the cops. Told them I was controlling and threatening and intimidating. They came. I showed them everything I had, told them my concerns, expressed what I said to her. They said it seemed like I was doing everything right. Tho they advised I file the OFP and turn over names and dates etc.
They told B, at the end, that because of her job and the kids that she “needed to stop fucking around with this shit.”
Well I guess that may have struck something in her because she said she’s done with AP. Tho she has still been talking to AP, AP found out what happened and has been going pretty low contact. Often leaving B on read. I know this because B has shown me their messages because she wants me to know I can trust her. Including through today.
She admitted the night the cops came that she had actively been lying to me. That she had orchestrated a text message convo to look like I was going to be getting what I wanted (something previously both she and AP had been against, a drug test).
So she admitted to lying about that. To deleting shit. To gas lighting me. This isn’t something she’s ever done before. Admitted to lying to me. Even when she’s been caught mid-lie. It’s always been dismissed or played off. This is the first time she’s actually been honest with me. And since then she and AP have had low contact.
She’s told me she doesn’t know now if we’re separated or going to divorce. That she wants to take it day by day. She says that if in the coming months, the changes I’m making to myself stick, and things get better, that she may stay. I’m unsure how to feel about this. We have 3 kids. I love her more than anything. But? I don’t think she would be so cold that she’d use me until she and her AP could be together.
On that note. She and AP are talking still, but everything has been platonic. She’s shown me her messages and I know she hasn’t deleted anything. We even spoke today and she admitted that sometimes she slips up and says “I love you” or whatever. But that’s because of how quickly she let her walls down. Let AP back into her life. That hurts. You know. Because I feel even now taking it day by day, I’m not being chosen. I’m an option. Yet the fact she’s still here, being engaged, etc. It can’t be an act right? I mean it could but I don’t imagine she would with how serious I am about the kids and having things documented.
I’m in therapy now. I’m on new meds for my anxiety. I’m seeing another Dr. to hopefully get a diagnosis of ASD or something so I can learn to interact more appropriately with her and my peers. I’m listening to her. Actively. Keeping in mind that words are not always words and I should look at the context and possible emotional context in the words. That’s been difficult but I’m learning that sometimes when she says that she’s broken, it’s because she wants a hug or physical comfort. I shouldn’t need to ask if she wants one or what I can do to comfort her. I am trying to listen more and act versus asking questions and then acting on the answers.
She felt she was always needing to tell me what to do or say. it’s been a sticking point in our marriage at times. Even though I am truly unsure at times what the appropriate course of action is. Hence being in therapy now.
We’ve slept together 3 times this month. Which is crazy because before it was once every few months. If at all. I think that’s a good sign?
I’m trying to help more around the house. Did a deep clean and threw a bunch of shit away. I’m committed to this change. To being better for her but also for me.
But I also don’t know if she’s doing this just to appease me. She’s said thank you. She’s slept with me. She’s more talkative and engaged with me. More fun like we used to have. But on the flip side she had no where else to go. No backup plan. She just started working FT but she doesn’t think she’ll be able to afford anything on her own.
I’m not sure where I stand. Or if I should take it day by day. I know I say I want to be with her and I think, I know that’s true. Even if I don’t want to admit I may lose her, act like I’m okay taking it day by day, the thought of her not being in my life as my partner, is terrifying and sad. So I know, if she asks to reconcile, I will. Because I love her. Because I know that while I’m not responsible for her cheating or lying etc, I’m responsible for the way I behaved and acted.
Idk if we can’t survive this. I love her more than anything. Even now I love her. I don’t want to lose her. Still I don’t think I should have to be a choice. I understand how it came about, and I understand she was or maybe is even now, ready to walk, and I’m just being delusional.
Yet she’s trying. Or appears to be. (This is what’s so hard for me).
I guess on paper it looks like we should divorce. My mother says so. My therapist says I should consider it.
Yet it seems like there may be something here worth trying for. The things I’m doing around the home and for the kids seem to make her happier. To see I’m trying to be consistent. She says it’s helped taken the pressure off her. That in our talks she’s happy I finally acknowledged things. Apologized for things. Actually listened and agreed with her. She’s appreciated that.
My therapist says whatever I do I should do for me. My counter was a lot of the stuff we’re doing now (splitting income by % earned, me actively cleaning every night with her, laundry, etc) is not something I’ve done or we’ve done before. Nor have I made any moves on therapy until recently, or to control my MH more.
So if I/we try this and still fail? Sure. It’s doomed, but at least I can say I took all the steps I, me, the Betrayed, to fix myself for myself but also for my marriage and my family. But this seems like it’ll have a shot. Like it could work. If you’ve made it this far thank you. ANY advice would be welcome.
It’s a fluffin’ mess. I know that. But any advice. Thanks.
~Ish