Girls rip tattoos

AnimeGirlsTattoos

2022.08.05 03:12 sd6636 AnimeGirlsTattoos

Subreddit for sharing art of anime girls with stand out tattoos, as they are an underrated element in fanart These includes tattoos on arms, legs, face, midriff, butt, tramp stamps, some womb (NSFW) and others The subreddit Animetattoos is for real life tattoos, this one is for fanart Subreddit icon is official art of Baltimore from Azur Lane
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2010.05.12 00:44 tattoosforgirl Tattoos For Girls

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2014.12.14 19:43 wtg_artist Best tattoos

Best Tattoo art works, Pictures, Tattoo Artists from around the World !!!
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2024.05.15 11:30 PralineCommercial495 So I had a 'Suppose I didn't need to understand THAT' moment

So First of all; Not my mothertongue, I'm in mobile and worke nights shifts. So yeah sorry.
But yeah My (29f) first language ist Russian. I'm fluent and still can write and read it. And me and one of my co-workers had a discussion about what we heard, we obviously weren't supposed to understand and she found mine quite funny. So here goes;
So In had two guests checking in. One of them a Tattoo Artist (TA in the Story) with AMAZING Makeup skills. Like she was looking so gorgeous! I told her so, 'cause why not? We spoke in English for first because she was from the Staates and I just showered her in compliments and she did the same to me.
Went Something Like that; "Shit. J Just LOVE this contouring. How did you so that?" "Oh yeah this technique would be SO GREAT on your face. You have like the perfekt facial structure for that." "Thanks but your hair though! How do your get your hair so glossy...?" So yeah two women Just kinda vibing and getting along.
Then I ask her the question; "Yeah the reservation said you also have two dogs with you. Where are the cuties?" And before she could answer, her obviously boyfriend murmered in Russian; "I could be one for the both of you."
I just froze. She saw it and was Just Like; "Oh shit..." Her Boyfriend Just continued; "With two of them I would just..." Thankfully I kinda got.my senses back and in Russian asked; "Excuse me?"
Her Bf definetly needed more time than her, cause she started snikering right away while he continued With; "yeah I would let the both of you step in me." I then asked, in Russian, If he wanted to tell me something.
He went RED. Like tomatoes would be envious red.
The TA and me then went through the whole check-in in Russian. And i got this great message from my co-workers;"So the Girl in #xxxxxx appreciated you so much she left you a Card for her Studio and her number for it. If you ever are in Michigan."
So yeah. Thats my Story how me and an amazing Tattoo Artist from the Staates brought a man to his knees and his knees with making each other compliments. Lol
TLDR; One of my check-ins had Russian boyfriend whi thirsted over female vibing Energy and one of my co-workers wanted me to post it.
submitted by PralineCommercial495 to TalesFromTheFrontDesk [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 11:30 Moffel83 Matt Bomer Shows Off Ripped Shirtless Physique & Lower Back Tattoo While Filming Beach Scenes for New Movie 'Outcome'

Matt Bomer Shows Off Ripped Shirtless Physique & Lower Back Tattoo While Filming Beach Scenes for New Movie 'Outcome' submitted by Moffel83 to MattBomer [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 11:14 mahmoudasamir Looking for these tracks dm if you have them

submitted by mahmoudasamir to AfroHouseUnreleased [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 11:12 Sinister-John One of the CRAZIEST last day vacation stories you’ll ever read. ☘️

This story was written and emailed to me by an anonymous source. And it’s one of the craziest most bizarre stories I’ve ever read. Ever! 😆 Enjoy the read. It’s long and ridiculously wild. ☘️ Also, in advance, no one can use this story. These stories are written and emailed to me for me to turn into a Video Narrative for my YouTube & TikTok channels. But I would like to share their tales as reading material as well. Thank you for understanding.
I hope you enjoy. 🫶
Story by - “Alex” & “Shane”
Okay so…
I went on vacation to Ireland with my brother last year. And had the most wildest experience of my life there.
Or should I say, we both had the most…wildest experience.
But More so me. And to Tell you the truth, I don’t think I’ll ever go back again after what happened.
As a matter of fact, no, I won’t go back.
So, it’s a Sunday night and it was pretty much our last day of vacationing.
My older brother Shane, wanted to go out… And I’m quoting him - “let’s get fuckin wasted tonight!”
So… We’re on vacation right? Why not? We had rented an Airbnb for the week, we had a rental car - we had a great week so far and we were having…
A proper vacation.
He was already dressed up and ready to go. I wanted to take a quick shower and shave so I told him to head out and I’d call him when I was ready for him to pick me up.
He says cool. He leaves, and I jump in the shower. He’s the one that knows the hot spots in Ireland better than I do. I mean, this was my first time ever coming here. So…
I take a shower, shave, and I get dressed. As I’m about to call my brother, the front door to our Airbnb opens up.
And Its my brother with two bad ass Irish women! They both jump on the couch and they’re laughing their asses off and my brother is just standing there looking at me with a sly grin on his face.
He looks over at the ladies and says - “Give me a minute please” walks over to me, puts his arm over my shoulder and walks me to the bathroom. He then whips out a bag of mushrooms and smiles. Ya know… The psychedelic kind.
I look down at the bag and I shake my head.
He says to me - “come on bro. We got two hotties out there who are trippin and they want to party. Don’t be a flake. This is our last night. Let’s make it special.”
I don’t like disappointing my brother but I was kind of hesitant.
I opened the bathroom door and take a look at these gorgeous women who were both sitting upright now and both looking at me as I opened the door. Both smiling. I smiled back. Closed the door… I looked at my brother and said - “Alright dood fuck it! Let’s do it!”
He gives me a huge hug, kisses me on the forehead, pours me a handful of shrooms and does the same for himself.
We both looked at each other to see who would go first. He counted to three and down the hatch they went. But they were the most unpleasant tasting mushrooms I’ve ever eaten in my life. They were disgusting.
I ran to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of juice because I was having a hard time chewing these nasty things.
But my brother Shane? No, he’s a pro. You give that guy a barrel of hay and he’ll eat it faster than a horse. The guy can eat anything.
40 minutes go by and I’m still straight as a pin. However, my brother on the other hand? He’s already trippin.
I think he had already taken some beforehand.
But in the next 10 minutes… These shrooms hit me like a ton of bricks! It was like this intense wave of cool and hot went completely through my body.
And I’ve taken mushrooms quite a few times but have never felt anything like this before. It was so sudden!
And I feel fantastic!
The next hour went by so fast because we were having so much fun! And these Irish girls? Man… I had the sexiest one! A beautiful Redhead by the name of Katrina.
She was kind of short though. About 5’1” maybe? But good things come in small packages, right? Well, not really. And you’ll know why soon enough.
I don’t recall anything else that happened for the rest of the night after my brother left with the other girl. And before I continue with the rest of the story. My brother’s name is really not Shane. And the redhead girl I was with is not named Katrina.
You see I had to make up these names to protect me and my brother. Because what happened during the rest of the night? I don’t remember. But also, I’ll never forget either.
Okay so, let's get back to the story…
I do remember my brother leaving with… Let's just call her Gloria, Katrina’s friend? And me and Katrina, the redhead, stood behind. I do remember us making out in the bathroom together, but…Everything else after that? There’s nothing there. Nothing. I don’t recall anything from that point forward no matter how badly I try to remember.
This is what my brother told me he witnessed as he arrived back at the Airbnb five hours later with Gloria.
And until this day, I still don’t want to believe this happened. But according to my brother…
It truly did happen.
My brother is going to write this part of the story because he’s the one that has this locked in his memory for life. And for the sake of the story, my name will be Alex.
Here is my brother Shane’s point of view - his perspective on what he witnessed that crazy night. Wow man… This is so fucking nuts. So buckle up and be prepared. I understand you don’t know who I am, but I swear, I’m not a bad person. Okay.
Yeah so, I guess I’m Shane now. Unreal…
Okay. Here we go. Meat and potatoes.
We arrive back at the Airbnb and I see Alex outside in the front of the house wearing only socks and he’s running around on top of the grass like an animal yanking out handfuls of grass from underneath him.
I look at Gloria and we’re both baffled at what we just saw.
First thing I said was - “Oh yeah! This dood is off his rocker right about now - as I parked the car.
We both hop out of the car and walk up to the front door. I slide the key into the door, it unlocks, but there’s a chair behind the door and it’s tipped over blocking the entry way and only leaving enough space for a crack. We both awkwardly look at one another and as I’m about to call out for my brother, I hear someone sprinting towards the door and bang!
The fuckin idiot shuts the door on us.
I then knock on the door softly because It’s almost 1 in the morning as I don’t want to make too much noise. God only knows what this kid has been doing since me and Gloria left.
After I knock on the door a few times, I hear the chair getting pushed to the side and my brother slightly opens the door. I take a peek inside, and his nose is broken, lips are bubbled up and his left eye is completely shut, black and blue and swollen.
He then drops to his knees, and begins crying but no sound is coming out of him! You know… Like when you get smacked by your parents when you’re a kid and it shocks the soul of you? Yeah, that kind of cry.
I don’t react to what he’s doing to not scare the shit out of Gloria, because she’s right beside me. So I push the door open and tell Gloria to hang on a second and shut the door and lock it.
I pick his busted ass up and sit him on the couch. I look around the house and it’s in complete shambles. Our clothes are everywhere, there’s food all over the fuckin walls. It was chaotic. And my brother is now sitting up breathing frantically.
I ask him - “what in the fuck happened?”
He looks at me. Face looking like he got into a boxing match with Rocky Marciano and whispers to me.
“Dood… There’s a leprechaun in the bathroom.”
“A fuckin what now?” - I said with the most bewildered look on my face. I mean I must have… I wish I would have taken a picture of my face at that very moment. I should have taken pictures of everything so this idiot could see the havoc he wreaked on that night.
My imbecile brother continues - “I’m telling you. There’s a fuckin leprechaun in the fuckin bathroom and this little lucky charms motherfucker won’t tell me where he hid the gold!”
“A leprechaun in the bathroom. What the fuck happened to you?” I said as I felt my blood beginning to boil.
The Imbecile then says - “Don’t worry. Don’t worry! I hogtied that little bitch and stuffed my underwear in its mouth. It’s in the bathtub. But don’t go in there. Don’t go in there. This thing fucked me up!”
And now I can hear someone fumbling in the bathroom moaning very softly. I looked at my brother and said - “What in the fuck did you do Alex?”
He replies - “I’m telling you. It’s a fucking leprechaun.”
“Okay. Okay.” - I said. “Stay right here and just, don’t move. Don’t do anything. Just keep still.
His eyes were so huge and dilated. He was so fuckin high. He had heartbeat pulses pumping from the top of his head.
I rushed back over to the front door and told Gloria that my brother got into a fight with a couple of guys at a pub while me and her were out and that her friend Katrina left because she got scared. She told me that was the first time she met that girl tonight so she really didn’t care and shrugged it off. Which was a huge relief to me. I told her thank you for a wonderful night. She understood. W said our goodbyes. I shut the door. And now… What the fuck is in the bathroom? Or better yet, who, is in the bathroom? Because let’s face it. This motherfucker did not find and fight with a leprechaun tonight. No way. There’s just no fuckin way.
I rush over to the bathroom and my brother leaps at my legs, and he’s holding onto me for dear life, begging me!
He says - “Please don’t untie it! It’s got magical powers! PLEASE!!!
Now, at this very moment? I am sort of hesitant about opening the bathroom door. But I snap out of it and open it. What the fuck. A leprechaun? No, I don’t think so.
I open the door…
“Holy shit.” - I said while covering my hands with my mouth. The floor was smeared in blood as if someone was dragged, leading to the huge cast iron tub. Smeared bloody handprints were all over the tub. And now I hear the faint moan coming from the tub. My legs are shaking and feel like they’re ready to give out on me. I was scared shitless.
“What did my brother do? Who is in that bathtub? I pray to God Katrina isn’t in there right now.” - I said to myself completely freaked out.
I slowly walk up to the bathtub…
And sure enough, there is a hogtied person lying in it with my brother's underwear stuffed in their mouth with a ripped t-shirt tied around their head and mouth, but… It’s not Katrina.
It’s a little person. You know, a dwarf? And… He’s literally dressed up in a leprechaun costume…
And how, on God's green earth did he end up here?
He has no idea I’m standing above him. I reach down to begin untying him but he begins squirming and screaming. I told him to relax and that I was here to help him.
And then My imbecile brother Alex, rushes into the bathroom and tackles me down. Stands up and begins shouting at this poor bastard hogtied in the tub - “Tell me where it is you greedy little fuck! Tell me!!!
I jumped to my feet and slapped my brother back to his childhood. Grabbed him by the throat, tripped him and threw him to the ground and said - “are you fuckin crazy? Do you want to go to prison for kidnapping? What in the fuck is the matter with you? You dumb fuck!!”
He then looks up at me with this pessimistic look on his face and says - “It’s a fucking leprechaun dood. A leprechaun.”
I was absolutely dumbfounded and furious at this point. I have this stranger in my Airbnb rental, hogtied and gagged and squirming and screaming and my brother thinks that he’s a leprechaun…
I can’t make this shit up.
He was so fucking high on those mushrooms. He was absolutely convinced that this man was a leprechaun. So… I had to play the game.
It was the only way to help this poor son of a bitch that my brother had kidnapped and hogtied in our Airbnb rental.
I calmly whispered and told him to please leave the bathroom so I could interrogate the leprechaun and find out where he was hiding the pot of gold.
My brother slowly stood up to his feet, face busted up, his cock and balls all shriveled and tight, looked at the man dressed up as a leprechaun, smiled at him with an evil grin and just, walked away…
And as he walked away, I told him to go and please put some clothes on, lay down in bed, and that I would handle the leprechaun. That I, would find out where the gold was hidden…
And that’s all I’m saying. I’m giving the computer back to my dumbass of a brother to finish off whatever else he wants to write.
Pretty outlandish right? I know. I know. You must think that I’m bat shit crazy huh? Okay so, to make the rest of this long story short, my brother Shane never told me what he did with the poor guy I hogtied and, well… i don’t remember how this guy came to be in my possession. I really don’t.
The only thing my brother Shane told me was that he ungagged him, untied him, and that he was extremely pissed off. And that he had compensated him for his troubles.
Man, I felt so horrible. I felt so horrible…
What I do remember though is waking up that following afternoon with my face all fucked up. Dehydrated with a tremendous splitting headache. I had no clue as to why I looked and felt the way I did. It was terrifying.
All of our luggage was packed and my brother was just sitting there, legs crossed and his arms folded.
Hey man… Take it from me. Don’t do fuckin drugs.
Regards, “Alex” & “Shane”
Disclaimer- This story may not be used for anything other than reading, sharing your thoughts and enjoying it. It is now protected by the United States Library of Congress/Copyright Office. Thank you. ☘️
submitted by Sinister-John to scarystories [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 10:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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submitted by shaneka69 to mytarotreadings [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 10:40 Urd14me12 Somebody Please Help!!! I am getting screwed over big time!

Ok here's the deal.. and this is 150% TRUTH!! I was shopping at Gabe's clothing store as I got to the VERY back corner of the store to the clearance shoe section, I saw a pocket book sitting in the floor beside the bench where ya try on shoes, so I obviously glance around to look for a woman near by and saw NOBODY. The next thing I did was bend down pick it up and sat it in the front of my buggy right beside my purse, and I then did like I thought any decent person would without hesitation, I turned and started walking to the VERY front of the store where ALL their employees were standing at the registers, which are lined across the front of store. I didn't look shady, I wasn't acting nervous, and was not trying to sprint to the door! I walked normal heck even stopped for a second and looked at a few more items as I walked to the front. I was simply trying to make my way to an employee of Gabe's so i could give them the pocket book and inform them someone had left it back the shoe section probably trying on shoes and sat it in the floor when they sat on that bench I spoke of, and left the purse sitting in the floor. I am seen clear as day on the stores camera doing EXACTLY like I have described to you all. Here's where my world goes all to hell though.. Before I could even get to an employee or the registers, two officers came in and walked straight to me (still don't understand how) and they treated me like a dang criminal not letting me even tell them I was on the way to give it to the employees at the registers, they were very mean and cuffed me right there in front of everyone, then dumped my purse out, for what reason I have no clue, then of course found nothing illegal considering I am not a criminal, and they made me leave the buggy and walked me outside. We got out there and it's dark but i over hear them talking to the owner of the purse that I tried to turn in so nobody would take it. I didn't know this at first because I never looked in her purse but she had like 600.00 and a bunch of change and credit cards. She laid everything on the hood of the car made sure all was there, oh she also had a prescription for xanax in her purse, so she counted them and they were all there. She then looked over at me and thanked me so much and apoligized the cops were doing me like they were. So that alone says I DID NOT STEAL ANYTHING RIGHT? Huh, you would think.. well she got to go home and get out of the cold, while now the cops have me standing at the hood of the police car and they are going through my purse again. WHY!!! The lady just jumped for joy while thanking me for trying to turn her bag in and therefore protecting all her money and meds, so what the hell were they doing that to me again! I had my own money and its ironic but I also had my prescription for xanax. Kinda crazy ya know it lol! Anyway, I had nothing at all illegal and as I have mentioned I STOLE NOTHING AND WOULD YOU NOT THINK THAT THE COPS SHOULD KNOW THAT BY THIS POINT? I was starting to think they would take the cuffs off any minute now, but instead they shove me into the back of the cop car!!! FOR FREAKING WHAT!? I HAD NOT COMMITTED A DANG CRIME OR EVEN CAME CLOSE TO BREAKING THE LAW!!! Of course I start crying not because I am sad or scared but I was PISSED AT THAT POINT! To make it even worse, I had my 22 year old applehead chihuahua with me and I begged them to let him just sit there for like 15 min max it was Oct. so not too hot, and my fiance was going to hurry and pick him up with my car, they would not even do that for me.Instead they took him to the freaking pound!!! And even when I bonded out I had to leave my baby in there all night long. Just don't forget, I HAD NOT BROKEN A SINGLE LAW AND WAS PUT THROUGH ALL THIS CRAP! So to shorten this up sorry my fiance had to leave his job and spend 300 bucks to bond me out from being arrested for what!!! Hell the bondsman didn't know why i was even there! They left me sitting in booking probably because it was all bs, and made no sense! I had never ever been in any trouble my whole life. I just finished the medical billing and coding program through Penn Foster, and I was sick when I finally found out what they were trying to charge me with.. THEFT UNDER 1000.00 AND SIMPLE POSSESSION/CASUAL EXCHANGE!!!! Is that not so messed up? I didn't steal anything so how the hell can they do this to me and a dang drug charge! I AM BEING CHARGED WITH THE POSSESSION FOR THE PRESCRIPTION THE STRANGER LADY HAD IN HER FREAKING PURSE WTF and IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW CASUAL EXCHANGE IS A DRUG DEAL!!! HOW THE HELL IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? So now we are out the 300 bucks, 2500.00 for a lawyer that has not talked to me once outside of court, and court costs that will be outrageous! WHAT REALLY RIPS MY HEART OUT IS IF I CAN'T BEAT THESE BOGUS CHARGES ON JUNE 10 IT WILL SCREW ME OUT OF MY BRAND NEW CAREER THAT WAS ABOUT TO START. I WON'T GET A JOB IN THE MEDICAL FIELD WITH A THEFT AND DRUG CHARGE. This is all true not blown out of proportion at all and it is so unfair. My step dad is a cop in that county and my mother works for the sheriff himself who is best friends with my step dad and they don't like me and make my life hard every chance they can. So of course mother got into my business which should not be allowed and ran straight to my son, who I had finally started rebuilding a relationship with which made her mad, she told him I stole from someone and made a drug deal so he has not spoken to me since october and will not let me come to my only childs graduation this year and get to see my baby boy walk across the stage all because my mother ran her mouth to my child. I need advice on if and how I can maybe sue them for defamation or slander and get order of protection because this has went on for over ten years with her. She has broken laws etc and used the fact that step dad is a cop and they have went on motorcycle rides to Sturgis etc with the one and only judge who happens to be over EVERY case I have went through because of them. They took my little girl before we were even discharged from the hospital and she forged my name on the birth certificate. I can go on for days and have paper documents to prove every single thing I just don't know what to do about it. Most importantly I NEED HELP OR ADVICE VERY BADLY ABOUT THE POLICE TRYING TO STICK ME WITH COMPLETELY BULL CRAP CHARGES THAT WILL END MY CAREER BEFORE I EVEN GET TO BEGIN AND ALL THE HARD WORK IN SCHOOL WILL BE FOR NOTHING. I AM ALL TO HELL. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME
S
submitted by Urd14me12 to legaladvice [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 10:39 SomebodySomeWhere717 I just realised you’re actually stalking this account, it’s fine. I’ll tell you some stuff without the pressure of saying them to you straight

I had things to say to you about the book I gave to you, and why I stopped early in reading it, there’s something about the last page that I read, you’ll notice it when you read the page with the rip at the top, it’s the rip my bookmark left on the page. I had a moment when I read that page, and I realised my path, you’ll see what I mean if you look at the page. I kept the book to read the rest of it when I felt lost again. I had intentions of reading it throughout my life. Until my next time losing my path, I would reread the parts I had read. When I saw you, I realised it might help you more than it helps me now. So I said goodbye to the book, I mean I can always buy another one but you weren’t gonna read it if I didn’t give it to you.
About us, I’m disappointed. Maybe I’m young and inexperienced, but our chemistry was something else. I’m sure if we saw each other again we’d see it again. But I don’t see how we get out of our current awkward situation. I don’t understand what happened between us at all. But there are several reasons why I talk to you with so much coldness.
  1. Remember you sent me your linkedin? Well I eventually made a fake account and looked at it because I still couldn’t figure out why you sent it to me. Well, I saw your comments on what I assume was your ex’s accomplishments. I have the exact same pair of glasses she wear in her profile picture, although you’ve never seen them. Similar glasses, means similar face shape, means you have a type. I assume you only liked me because I reminded you of her. This makes me feel sick in my stomach. The only reason why we have chemistry is because of that from your side, and because I was ready to connect with someone. There’s nothing special about it.
  2. I think you’ve put me in a roster of 20 year old girls to talk to. Idk. You just have too many young girls in your followers. Yea I stalked your followers, that’s more normal than stalking a person’s reddit account so shush
  3. Our conversations just felt like they were about you venting and you expected me to give emotional support but I’m a rational person, not particularly good with emotions. And you also didn’t even respect my feelings in the process. I felt used, and worthless because of your behaviour that you might’ve not even noticed because you’re so preoccupied.
Those aside, I’m not the same person you met two months ago, but this isn’t the same person I’ll be. I grew a lot, although from the outside it looks like I’m being irresponsible. I’m way more mature actually, and way less open. I can’t connect with you anymore, because I closed myself off to everybody except my closest friend. I built some walls around me, I don’t try to people please as much which is nicer for me. I’m in my early twenties. I want to make mistakes and I want to be wild and stupid. It might be disgusting to look at from the outside. I have a complete different inside life than my outside “instagram” life. And unfortunately you got categorised with the people who only see one of those. I can have deep conversations, but not through our current texting situation.
I think the best thing to do is for you to message me say “thank you for your help anyway” and I’ll say “no worries” and then we can end our conversations, you can maybe message me if you ever end up in Istanbul again, if you ever want to see me again. I don’t see us having any further positive communication through text so I think we need a lot of time spent not remembering the other person even exists. We both have a lot of resentment for each other, and it’s obvious from the tone of our conversations. It was good when it was good though, I’m happy to have met you, I’ll always remember you as a sweet person, with the best image of you I ever had of you in my mind, it’s a beautiful one.
submitted by SomebodySomeWhere717 to u/SomebodySomeWhere717 [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 10:34 somesm64machinimaguy is this a deserved ban or not?

is this a deserved ban or not?
rip 2017 account that i definetly will not get refunded from
was playing mm2 with my friends and one of my friends (ss4) had a knife that was named "Vampire Edge" or something like that, and "u can bypass the willy work" is due to how people were actually bypassing p#nis in retro studio lmao offensive item "why show gyatt to me" is because of a person doing the sleep emote and pointing their back at me for no reason "if your gay" is because of a girl talking about her being gay for some reason. idk if this is an deserved ban or not i cant tell due to "you 1v1" "OMG" "staph" "i guess ss4 was it"
submitted by somesm64machinimaguy to ROBLOXBans [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 10:32 Crazy-Head-3994 25 [F4M] #Online #Europe Looking for genuine connection

Hello there,
Before we dive in, let's talk dealbreakers. These are non-negotiables for me, so if any apply to you, it's best to skip my post. (Please respect my preferences, and refrain from dismissing them as delusional.)
Dealbreakers: - You're not open to relocating in the future. (I've got roots - a home, farm, and a non-remote job. I cannot leave that.) - Hygiene isn't a priority for you. - You're not into anything 'esoteric/occult.' or you think this is bullshit - You're deeply devoted to Christianity, Islam, or Judaism. (I'm Pagan; our paths won't align.) - You thrive in big cities and can't imagine village life. - Exotic travels are your thing. - You're just here for casual dating, not something serious. - You deny the reality of mental illnesses. (I'm on my way to becoming a therapist.) - You're not a fan of girls with piercings and tattoos. - Basic live skills like cooking or cleaning aren't your forte. - You're without a job or driving license. - Future children aren't in your plans. - Monogamy isn't your style.
If you don't check any of those boxes, let's continue:
Bonus Points if: - You're into Slavic/Nordic folklore. - You reside in Europe. - You're curious and love to learn. - You're open to a Female-Led-Relationship (FLR). - Phone calls about your day, thoughts, and dreams are your jam. - Fantasy, games, and all things nerdy excite you.
About me:
I stand at 150cm, currently 75kg (and dropping), a curvy brunette. Though my background is in IT engineering, I've veered off that path. However, if you're in the field, I can still keep up with the tech talk! Glasses, piercings, tattoos - they're all part of me. I believe that love transcends appearances; I'm more interested in brains and skills than looks. In your first message Tell me something about yourself. What is your favourite flower? Feel free to slide into my DMs (untill i will find my Prince Charming)
I'm looking forward to getting to know you.
submitted by Crazy-Head-3994 to r4r [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 10:23 rickyleonne 30 [M4F] Asia/Anywhere - Meaningful connection and LTR

I'm American, currently living in the Middle East. I am an introvert (ISTP); hobbies mostly center around casual PC gaming (mostly single player and co-op). There are a few franchises that I'm really into, namely the Elder Scrolls, Mass Effect, and the Witcher for video games, then there's Star Wars (pre-disney), the Big Bang Theory, and Dragon Ball (RIP Toriyama) for shows/anime. I do like some other animes, probably too many to list here. I really enjoy ancient history, specifically Roman and Byzantine. I'm very handy, having built computers and fixed certain appliances in the past.
Physically, I am white, about 170cm with blue eyes. I wear glasses constantly, and usually have a short beard.
I like to live my life at a slower pace, and usually am pretty relaxed. I prefer to stay in most nights, but enjoy going out too.
I'm looking for a girl between the ages of 20 and 36, give or take. I'm not too picky about location, but close-ish is preferred. Christian, preferably Orthodox or Catholic. Dating to marry, wants a family, and doesn't mind long distance for a while and eventually relocating. A fellow introvert, and fellow gamer or interested in gaming. Bonus points if you're tall and/or very thin. Also bonus points for the shy bookworm type.
If any of this appeals to you, and you'd like to get to know me, send me a chat or DM. Thanks for reading!
submitted by rickyleonne to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 10:22 rickyleonne 30 [M4F] Asia/Anywhere - Meaningful connection and LTR

I'm American, currently living in the Middle East. I am an introvert (ISTP); hobbies mostly center around casual PC gaming (mostly single player and co-op). There are a few franchises that I'm really into, namely the Elder Scrolls, Mass Effect, and the Witcher for video games, then there's Star Wars (pre-disney), the Big Bang Theory, and Dragon Ball (RIP Toriyama) for shows/anime. I do like some other animes, probably too many to list here. I really enjoy ancient history, specifically Roman and Byzantine. I'm very handy, having built computers and fixed certain appliances in the past.
Physically, I am white, about 170cm with blue eyes. I wear glasses constantly, and usually have a short beard.
I like to live my life at a slower pace, and usually am pretty relaxed. I prefer to stay in most nights, but enjoy going out too.
I'm looking for a girl between the ages of 20 and 36, give or take. I'm not too picky about location, but close-ish is preferred. Christian, preferably Orthodox or Catholic. Dating to marry, wants a family, and doesn't mind long distance for a while and eventually relocating. A fellow introvert, and fellow gamer or interested in gaming. Bonus points if you're tall and/or very thin. Also bonus points for the shy bookworm type.
If any of this appeals to you, and you'd like to get to know me, send me a chat or DM. Thanks for reading!
submitted by rickyleonne to ImpregPersonalsLTR [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 10:21 rickyleonne 30 [M4F] Asia/Anywhere - Meaningful connection and LTR

I'm American, currently living in the Middle East. I am an introvert (ISTP); hobbies mostly center around casual PC gaming (mostly single player and co-op). There are a few franchises that I'm really into, namely the Elder Scrolls, Mass Effect, and the Witcher for video games, then there's Star Wars (pre-disney), the Big Bang Theory, and Dragon Ball (RIP Toriyama) for shows/anime. I do like some other animes, probably too many to list here. I really enjoy ancient history, specifically Roman and Byzantine. I'm very handy, having built computers and fixed certain appliances in the past.
Physically, I am white, about 170cm with blue eyes. I wear glasses constantly, and usually have a short beard.
I like to live my life at a slower pace, and usually am pretty relaxed. I prefer to stay in most nights, but enjoy going out too.
I'm looking for a girl between the ages of 20 and 36, give or take. I'm not too picky about location, but close-ish is preferred. Christian, preferably Orthodox or Catholic. Dating to marry, wants a family, and doesn't mind long distance for a while and eventually relocating. A fellow introvert, and fellow gamer or interested in gaming. Bonus points if you're tall and/or very thin. Also bonus points for the shy bookworm type.
If any of this appeals to you, and you'd like to get to know me, send me a chat or DM. Thanks for reading!
submitted by rickyleonne to DatingAfterTwenty [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 10:12 rickyleonne 30 [M4F] Asia/Anywhere - Meaningful connection and LTR

I'm American, currently living in the Middle East. I am an introvert (ISTP); hobbies mostly center around casual PC gaming (mostly single player and co-op). There are a few franchises that I'm really into, namely the Elder Scrolls, Mass Effect, and the Witcher for video games, then there's Star Wars (pre-disney), the Big Bang Theory, and Dragon Ball (RIP Toriyama) for shows/anime. I do like some other animes, probably too many to list here. I really enjoy ancient history, specifically Roman and Byzantine. I'm very handy, having built computers and fixed certain appliances in the past.
Physically, I am white, about 170cm with blue eyes. I wear glasses constantly, and usually have a short beard.
I like to live my life at a slower pace, and usually am pretty relaxed. I prefer to stay in most nights, but enjoy going out too.
I'm looking for a girl between the ages of 20 and 36, give or take. I'm not too picky about location, but close-ish is preferred. Christian, preferably Orthodox or Catholic. Wants a family, and doesn't mind long distance for a while and eventually relocating. A fellow introvert, and fellow gamer or interested in gaming. Bonus points if you're tall and/or very thin. Also bonus points for the shy bookworm type.
If any of this appeals to you, and you'd like to get to know me, send me a chat or DM. Thanks for reading!
submitted by rickyleonne to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 09:59 cmjones0704 Please Help- my friend won't move out of my parents' house, what do I do?

Buckle up because this might be long. My (21F) friend (22F) named G and I have been best friends since freshman year and lived together starting sophomore year, along with our other friends R (21F) and L (21F). We are the all the same age, but G graduated a year earlier than the rest of us. I will try to summarize as best I can (I can give more specifics in the comments) but in the middle of sophomore year G accessed a repressed memory of inappropriate behavior from a family member. This caused her to essentially experience a mental break that manifested in increased outbursts and a slew of destructive decisions, which ultimately resulted in a Bipolar 1 diagnosis.
Throughout junior year the unstable behavior only worsened and it began to affect our relationships. It got to the point that over winter break she decided to move out of our apartment, saying that she was becoming resentful and frustrated with us because she was graduating and at a different stage of life than we were and therefore had decided to remove herself from the situation to salvage our friendships. After moving out, she continued to essentially "live" in our room by lingering around without explicitly meeting up with one of us roomates or leaving her things around the apartment, which made it difficult for us to define the new version of our relationship and set boundaries. We did our best to support her and be understanding through her harsher nature and lack of consideration for others, but R was not as able to see the situation from another perspective. She tended to take G's harsh comments to heart and resentment built throughout the spring semester until the relationship was irreparable, which led to 2 fights between the 4 of us with G blowing up at us.
After G graduated she moved out of state for a job. We hoped that this would naturally settle tensions, but ultimately their relationship wasn't salvageable and it led to the end of L and I's relationship with R as well because we "chose G over her". While G was out of state she spiraled further: she became manic, experienced psychosis, tried to self-admit to the mental hospital, and was fired from her job. After getting fired, she decided to move back to our home state, but because of her extremely strained relationship with her family she asked if she could briefly move into my family's home while I was living at school as a transition while she figured out her next move. This is where the problem arises.
The original plan was that she would stay for around a month or two but she back on her feet by Thanksgiving, however, she is still living there now in May with no plans of leaving anytime soon. No one, including her, realized just how bad her mental state was. As it turns out, most of her personality and habits were defense mechanisms and trauma responses from her childhood, and now that she has lost the ability to "mask" and adapt, it's like she is relearning how to be an aware and active member of society.
She is very easily overstimulated and any slight problem can throw her completely off, sometimes for days at a time. For example, we planned a small trip to visit a friend an hour away for G's birthday. G planned out her outfits with me the night before and then went to the guest room where she has been staying to pack. The next morning when it was right before the time we had decided to leave, I checked on her and asked if she wanted to go load the car, to which she snapped at me, yelled, and proceeded to essentially throw a short tantrum complete with jumping and door slamming. According to my parents this is not an uncommon occurrence- they have heard her throwing things across her room and often experience her outbursts, sometimes becoming the target of them. This has all had a negative effect on our relationship. It has improved over the months, but I have been consistently extremely uncomfortable with her and wanting to distance myself. Firstly, I just don't desire to be around someone who behaves that way. It is constantly like walking on eggshells and it feels like I'm always "on" and working to manage someone else's unpredictable emotions.
Secondly, I have been having a LOT of feelings about her living at my house. This has subsided a lot since the fall, but when she first moved in it was meant to be temporary, and therefore, she stayed in my bedroom. This came to a head when I came home for break to find my room essentially trashed with no effort from her to clean up for me. My room was not in the greatest state when I left it, but I came home to things like the blankets strewn about my bed, her dirty socks buried in my blankets and by my pillows, and half eaten chocolate left on the floor. After this she moved fully to the guest room, which has helped, but she has since started talking about wanting to decorate "her room", which is making me upset because it's not her room to decorate: that would imply that she is a permanent resident rather than a guest.
Thirdly, her behavior towards my family has been frankly unacceptable. Her outbursts have been directed towards both my parents and my special needs sister. None of us are particularly confrontational so it has never been explicitly brought up, but I am extremely offended that she would accept the kindness of my family to house and feed her and to still treat them with such disrespect. She also does not make an effort to be a good houseguest in other regards: only does she not do anything to help with the chores of the household, but she actively adds to the mess (doesn't do her dishes, leaves her packages on the kitchen table, etc). I know that much of this is due to her degraded mental state, but it truly feels like she is a leech. I hate feeling this way.
I believe that she is completely unaware of how any of this comes off to others based on conversations she's had with both me, L, and my mom. She continues to hold grudges and negative feelings about things from months/years ago towards L & I. For example, when she used to live with us, L and I would frequently find food to be missing that we had bought, sometimes containers completely eaten and left empty on the shelf. When we expressed frustration that G would take food without asking and then wait to be caught rather than asking beforehand or notifying us after, she told us that she essentially felt entitled to our food because we could afford to buy food and she couldn't. This is a consistent theme where L and I would have been more than willing to help out if she had asked, but we were upset under a matter of principle because it's still our stuff! I am definitely not completely blameless, but I wouldn't say that I have done nearly as much to harm our relationship. G has an inability to see any other perspective than her own, and she has yet to understand that she is not the only one who has felt hurt in our friendship.
My parents have been at a loss for how to handle the situation. They don't want to throw her out to the wolves (none of her other family is an option), but at the same time, it is almost a year since she moved in, which is 10x longer than they were anticipating. Additionally, her therapist has been telling her that she is not ready to move out on her own and is not ready to work a "big girl job", so she has been working at Starbucks since around October and is likely not financially stable enough to live on her own. There is the potential of finding roomates to live with (she has tried a couple but they have all fallen through), but another issue is I'm not sure if she has been saving her money. She frequently makes purchases on amazon, gets take out food (after my parents buy groceries specifically for her), got a $200 tattoo, and discussed buying $250 concert tickets at the table with my family.
My mom has been especially unsure of how to approach her in a way that won't "set her off", so she recently asked G if she could contact her therapist to ask some questions about how to discuss the future of the living situation, but it is unclear how that will play out (a conversation with the 3 of them, my mom communicating with the therapist, etc).
What do I do in this situation? I do have love for her, but truthfully, it's been diminishing throughout this situation and I want her out of my space as soon as possible. Maybe it's selfish, but I can't fully relax when I'm at home when she's there and I feel guilty for introducing my family to this predicament. I would be a bad friend if I threw her out, but just because she has it worse does that negate my feelings? I feel bad because her family situation is very toxic and she is clearly unpacking her childhood and grieving her lack of parental support, but it feels like it is manifesting in jealousy with my situation and resulting in her feeling entitled to my family, home, and life. It truly feels like she is taking advantage of my family but I also know she really doesn't have another option. At what point does it stop being "their problem"? Please Help! AITA?
submitted by cmjones0704 to TwoHotTakes [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 09:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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submitted by shaneka69 to mytarotreadings [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 09:41 Chris_Thompson7951 Limerence. The Heart's Cocaine. Can it turn a casual dalliance into a life destroying addiction to chasing the un·ob·tain·a·ble?

It was late November 2015. I was 51 and one year past my divorce (which was not related to cheating) when I became so disgusted with myself that I knew I had to pick myself up. I was alone for the long holiday, and although I wasn't really sad or lonely, I felt empty. However, I had some extra time to consider how does one picks oneself up.
I made a list of potential New Year resolutions that were individually realistic. Some were really easy and stupid like “have your chipped front tooth fixed” and “take & post a selfie”. These smaller tasks fueled my confidence and provided the energy boosts needed to tackle the more challenging resolutions, like starting a weight loss challenge at work.
Skip ahead to March 4th 2016. I had a Friday lunch date with a married client that I met two weeks prior. Of course, it was not a real date, as I wouldn't impose myself on a married woman, nor would I risk my career or my ego, especially if the signals she seemed to be sending were just a product of my wishful thinking, stimulated by checking off some boxes on the list on the fridge dated 1/1/16.
The following is my thank you note to her for a great date as well as for helping me check a lot of boxes over the past few weeks. I sent her a link to it as it is in the form of my first ever online post (one more check box, YAY!).
************************************** We were only 1 minute in the hotel room; her jeans in a ball on the floor. She sat at the foot of the king sized bed and backed her way into the stack of oversized pillows lining the headboard. I followed as If attached by a leash. I landed somewhat awkwardly on my elbows between her legs finding myself squarely face to face with the tattoo. This tattoo, that she so shamelessly revealed just a week ago, the same tattoo that has been scorching my thoughts and the same tattoo that she promised me complete and unlimited access.
It’s been a long time since I have been here or anywhere near as nice as here, between the legs of a beautiful woman 20 years younger and far out of my league....even when I was her age. I took a second to drink in my fortunate situation. I admired her panties. All day I was so hoping she would wear those same panties as before. She didn’t. These were different but similar enough. The delicate lace and silk perfectly framed the tattoo on her hip. She did not disappoint. There is a fruity jasmine scent, intoxicatingly pleasant, and oh so subtle. It is not here. I’ll need to find its source. I want more of that. (I remember being thoroughly impressed and thinking to myself “This girl is good”.)
I briefly forgot that there was someone else here besides myself and the tattoo. How long have I been down here perving out on her? I wondered. I hesitated, and then apologetically looked up half expecting a well-deserved snarky glare. What I found instead was an ear to ear compassionate smile followed by a tilt of her head and an arch of her eyebrow that said “I like that you like that, carry on”.
With confidence restored that we were still in sync, I adjusted myself so that I was in a good position to thoroughly enjoy what I came to do. I kissed the tattoo hard and gave it a good lick. The challenge for today was “Taste the Tattoo” and I won. I did a small celebration gesture that she rolled her eyes to. I continued to kiss and taste all around until every freckle got some personal attention. As I got to the upper most reaches of her inner thighs, I looked up to check in as I was about to cross a new line. For the first time she was not looking back at me but had laid her head back deep into the pillows, her eyes closed. I took that as a yes!
I marveled at the softness of her inner thighs on my cheeks as I gently placed kisses up one and down the other. As I kissed her through her panties, her hips responded by arching her up in anticipation of each next kiss. Before long, those wonderful panties were just getting in the way. I stopped and pondered whether to just slide them aside or remove them or to risk interrupting the mood and attempt a complete wardrobe removal as we were both still fully dressed except for her jeans.
I didn’t have to ponder long as she knew what she wanted and it was not any of the options I was considering. Still lying back with her head semi submerged within the pillows, she held out her arms as if gesturing for a hug. I moved up her body and when I got close enough she pulled me in for a kiss.
Unbelievably, this was our first kiss. I found it odd that we had not kissed yet and was grateful she thought to stop for a moment to have a kiss. We kissed some and then I settled in to thoroughly enjoy it. However, the kiss to come was not the kiss I was expecting or a kiss I was ready for. It was a kiss that could ruin everything.
Technically, there was one kiss before. It was an awkward kiss 5-10 minutes earlier just after we entered the room. All in about the time it took for the hotel door to close behind us, she tossed her bag on the sofa, had her jewelry off and set on the nightstand while I emptied my pockets and silenced my phone.
We approached each other, and as we met I was looking at the place where the tattoo would be under her shirt and behind her jeans. They were higher cut and could not be pulled down that far to get to the tattoo. They would have to come off. To just reach in and do that would be an uncharacteristically bold move for me. But I did have unquestionable permission to have the tattoo in any way that I desired. I reached down with both hands and took hold of the waistband on each side of the button. I didn’t see her simultaneous move in at me at first. Just as I felt the metal of the button, I felt her reaching her arms around my neck and realized that she was tip toeing up for a kiss. It caught me unexpectedly and I think it showed on my face that it did. I tried to recover and moved back in to accept her lips on to mine but it turned into an awkward peck.
I scolded myself for the selfish moment and just as I was trying to formulate a recovery gesture, she, without missing a beat, gently dismissed my fumble and gracefully restored the momentum. “Oh” she said with surprise in her tone, while looking down at my fingers ready to release her button. Then, in a more playfully quizzical tone, she followed with “I guess you want to get right to THAT then” and she stepped back away from me where I lost grip of her jeans. She replaced my fingers on the button with hers, paused, maybe waiting for me to look up to her eyes, which I finally did, then flashed me a devilishly naughty smile and pulled her jeans down to the top of her boots. She then proudly announced, mostly to herself, “You really are going to let me have fun with you, aren’t you!” seemingly shedding any doubts in her mind that I would go through with this. She then sat at the foot of the all white linen king sized bed, removed her boots and jeans and backed her way into the stack of oversized pillows lining the headboard.
Back to our kiss. The kiss that from now on I will reflect on as our first kiss
Responding to her hug gesture, I moved up her body and when I got close enough she pulled me in for a kiss. I didn’t flub it this time, but again, I didn’t know it was coming, and prolly I should have. It took only ten seconds to adjust and synchronize to each other’s kissing form. It was warm and succulent and sweet and was wonderful. I really was surprised at how nice this felt. I don’t recall married kissing being this enjoyable. I remember saying to myself “Damn, this girl can kiss”.
I was on top, in a position that wasn’t going to be comfortable for as long as I wanted this to last, so I backed away to reposition but she held tight indicating she didn’t want me to move. I gestured at the space next to her and she relented. We then settled in facing one another side by side; her smile confirming that this was a nice place. We were hugging and kissing, pulling each other closer and looking into each other’s eyes. Our legs intertwined and our hands were roaming, but not really in a sexual way, more like trying to make as much body contact as possible. I couldn’t get over how I felt so much more familiarity than there was. What I did not recognize at the time was that this was the physical intimacy catching up to match the virtual intimacy we have been sharing online.
Soon the intensity escalated and it was getting very hot very quickly. The intensity and passion that was building was not something I ever expected or planned for. This was the rare kind of making out where accidental hickeys happen and inadvertent “Oh god I love you’s” slip out. Not that either of those was going to happen but my safe, non-committal no emotional strings encounter was getting too hot to not risk introducing emotions into the situation. And that could happen.
At some point I was no longer kissing her lips and mouth but was kissing her.
I broke contact to catch a breath and maybe get some control of the fire. We stopped for a moment to breathe and cool off. She slid herself on top and I rolled over on to my back to accommodate her. She looked at me with eyes that appeared to agree that it was a good time to slow it down. She closed her eyes and she seemed to enjoy that I was rubbing her back with both hands that I slipped up under her shirt. She presented her lips for me to kiss and then her cheek for the same, then neck and ear and lips again. Her long hair had fallen down around us, surrounding our faces like a vail creating a tiny private and even more intimate space. Inside here it was darker and the temperature and humidity rose quickly. We were breathing each other’s breath between kisses. All of a sudden I noticed that Jasmine was back. Not subtle this time, but deep and fulfilling. I loved it.
This fragrance stuff really works. The next morning just after waking up, I caught an unexpected subtle whiff on my skin under my watch and my heart jumped by 20 beats. Who’d a thunk it possible?
The passion was building again but since I was aware and cautious now, I wanted to enjoy and go with it. I thought I could keep it measured and I did for a while as it does take two. The kissing slowed to half and so did the passion. However, the rest of our bodies started to make up for it and the touching evolved into the sexual. She was still on top of me and my hands were exploring and squeezing on her panty covered butt, then under and in those panties. Her body contact became more targeted as she was now very deliberately mashing her fun stuff all over my fun stuff. The kissing subsided but replaced with the audible accompaniment of her squeaks, moans and quicker breathing timed with her mashing I was no longer in control. The passion was under control but being replaced with something intimately erotic.
I abruptly escaped by gently rolling her over on to her back then getting up and knelling between her legs. I took a moment to catch my breath and wanted to say “That is getting WAY too intimate. Can we get naked and have sex now?” However, I tugged at her panties and said something dorky like “can we take these off now?” Yes, we were still both fully dressed except for her jeans
Since I am the kind of guy who doesn’t kiss and tell, (well, only tells about the kisses) and this is not the forum for it, I am not going to talk about the sexy part over the next 30 minutes. I will tell you that we did finally each get ourselves unceremoniously naked and then the sexy part finishes where it started, with me finishing all over that beautiful tattoo. Of course I did a small celebration gesture that she rolled her eyes to.
*************************************************
Cuddle time. Our snapchats leading up to this encounter were heavy on the anticipation and buildup but didn’t contain a lot of detail about or define what stuff would happen during our “fun” time together.
Me: “Ok then, tomorrow lunchtime, I’m in.”
Her: “OMG Are you saying that you are REALLY going to come here and let me have fun with you?
Me: “I’m REALLY going to come there. I am REALLY going to fully inspect that tattoo, as well as the neighborhood where the tattoo lives.
Her: “I so can’t wait to get my hands on you.”
Me: “WOW….Now that this is real and going to happen, my heart is beating so hard that I am afraid that people can see it through my shirt.”
Her: “You have to tell me, are you being SERIOUS right now? You can’t say this and not show up. It’s OK if you are teasing, but you have to say so that you are now….not tomorrow!!!”
Me: “I am SERIOUS and I PROMISE I will be there. You have gotten to me, BAD. All week with the way we have been talking..err..I mean snapchatting; I can’t get you out of my head. Then today with those tattoo snaps you sent; I can’t get up from my desk. LOL…..NOT kidding NOT teasing.”
Her: “I am BAD, and I like having FUN. I am going to have so much fun with you!!!”
************************************************
The only specific things I recall us acknowledging we would do with our “fun” was tattoo inspection and cuddle time. So as soon as cleanup from sexy time was done we both knew what time it was. For me, as good as the inspection was the cuddle was better. Just as during the sexy time we changed things up and we got to cuddle many ways. We started face to face full contact hugging just like our kissing time with some but less kissing and more being in the moment.
We were still hot (temperature hot now) and sweaty so that didn’t last long. She turned over and we spooned some. I was still craving full body contact but it was still so hot that we had to separate a bit. No contact spooning if you will, with just my one hand caressing her exposed shoulder and arm and hip with an occasional butt cheek squeeze.
It was about that time that we had our first ever personal conversation. On the project there were lots of flirty banter and some personal stories but almost always as part of a group. We had many phone calls and a few project meetings with just us two but never did the conversation get personal. Until now the only personal talks (Chats) we have had have been via Snapchat. I don’t recall who asked the first question of the other, but it was like a dam broke and we started filling in the details of our lives, our feelings and all the things we chatted about.
There was a lot to tell and we were giddy like children (child) best friends re-meeting on the first day of school catching each other up on our summer vacations. At one point she had something compelling to say and faster than a fish out of water she flipped back to facing me so she could gesture with her hand and punctuate through her expression. She landed close. Closer that I think she meant to at first and just a bit awkward I felt. But I was wrong. She didn’t back up an inch. I really couldn’t see her hand but I could feel that she was using it in the 2 to 4 inches of space between our chests. Her face was right into mine. She would lean back or up just an inch when she wanted me to see her eyes or smile or frown for emphasis, then settle back into the pillows with our foreheads or noses or cheeks touching. It was the farthest thing in the world from awkward.
If there was a recurring theme for the day it would be HOT; in every sense and synonym of the word. Again, it was getting too sweaty to remain that close. This time she broke contact to catch a breath and escape the heat. We stopped talking for a moment to breathe and cool off. She sat up, crawled to, and grabbed the (sexy time) clean-up towel that was at the far foot of the bed. She turned around so that she was kneeling facing me as she brought the towel up to her chest to absorb the beads and drips of sweat that had accumulated. As I watched, I again thought of my great fortune to be right here right now feeing what I feel and seeing the beauty before me. She pushed the towel down across her belly button and it fell into her lap.
I observed the soft sunlight reflecting off the white sheets, the white towel, and the white pillows bathed her in perfect light creating just a hint of subtle shadows in all of the right places on her angelic white skin. I started consciously taking photos with my mind. I wanted to capture every nuance and note every detail. I don’t know if I will ever be here again.
I don't recall if my next realization was comprehended in a split second, or if it took ten seconds to develop, but a terrible fear washed over me that for the first time in forever, she was beyond my touch and her next action might be to look for her panties or go jump in the shower. We were after all, deep into the second hour of her hour long lunch.
As I was preparing myself for the pain soon to come, I couldn't understand where it was coming from. I had the BEST DAY EVER, but I felt like an exhausted child who just watched the Disney fireworks finally and knows what that means.
What the hell? What is happening in my head? I don't even know this girl, let alone have feelings for her beyond she made my dick feel good at lunchtime.....and, I guess my ego is healthier since I met her. I have not cheated on my diet since she turned on the flattery the week before. I was sure it had to be somehow manipulative, but I hoped that if only a 5% chance it wasn't AND she liked me AND her mom was single, made it easy to keep my snacking to peas & carrots.
My self esteem has been skyrocketing too, as I have been checking a lot of boxes on my refrigerator. LOL, so many in fact, that I have been adding things to the list after they happened that I didn't dare put on it as they seemed pretty unobtainable just two months before. "Get sent a nude selfie, check. Have the confidence to send one back, check. Take a hottie 32 year old client out to lunch and fuck her brains out, check.
Did I just discover that I like girls who make my self esteem feel good more than I like girls who make my dick feel good?
Shit, that wasn't even on my top ten list. Smart, funny, pretty, Kind, whatever is the opposite of bitchy, fun in bed, boobs and/or an age appropriate figure is always nice, curious, someone you can trust to see you at your worst. Before today, "genuinely being a boost & support of my self esteem" was 10th.
Then BAM. I was hit in the face with the towel. Damn girl, I hope you can handle a spanking because I was just on the verge of making an interpersonal discovery of some importance over here, I thought to myself. I noticed the slightest or possibly mock look of concern on her face as she asks "you're not having any regrets or second thoughts over there are you?". I reflexively replied "Oh god no". Then with some emphasys, I continued "today was incredible. I REALLY needed this and you were PERFECT, thank you".
Again she did not disappoint. She crawled to the top of the bed on the far side and then to me over the pillows and laid down at a 90 angle to me on her stomach parallel to the headboard with her head nearly right on top of mine. She propped herself up a bit on her elbows and we kissed deeply. It was nice.
I made a few attempts to shake my internal drama, get out of my head and get back to my goal of picking my self up after my divorce. Oops, I mean back to pleasing a beautiful woman who clearly was not yet done having her fun with me. The emotional rollercoaster ride over the last hours, days & weeks completely blew out my brains ability to generate or absorb endorphins or whatever happens in a situation like this. Shortly after we had joked around while showering together, kissing goodbye (just like when I kissed my endorphin killing ex wife) and going on back to our separate lives.
I drove the hour or so home, brought my dog to the park and had healthiest and happiest cry I ever had. I don't know what I was feeling or why, but I was feeling again and it brought me much relief and contentedness.
We texted a bit that evening confirming that we each enjoyed our time together and agreeing that we should do that again sometime. The next day, Saturday, her husband took their 5 & 8 year old sons somewhere for the day. We checked in with each other again over text and chatted some about our lunch but the spark or excitement we usually had was not the same.
I reached out again that evening and asked if she was in a place that we could talk on the phone. She resisted but did call me (our first personal phone call). It took her 24 hours to let her cry bubble up. It turns out that our emotional experiences were remarkably similar, albeit from different perspectives.
She much later reveals that she felt emotionally dead for her hubby. She evolved to a bad place where she wanted fuck anyone but her hubby but still fucked him twice a week and had to appear happy to do it, killing her brain chemistry.
We rode the best and worst roller coaster in the world for 6 or 8 months....until the the Cocaine eventually wore off or the unobtainable became obtainable and it wasn't the the same rush for either of us any longer. She was the closest thing to a drug addiction that I ever felt. I never wanted anyone or anything like I wanted her.
My hope is that this story helps one person answer the question "Why the hell would he/she risk giving up their wonderful & loving family for an hour with a douchebag or a skank?"
submitted by Chris_Thompson7951 to cheating_stories [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 09:29 Various_Diamond5933 I (23F) worked in an unsanitary dental office for 3 years and had no idea how bad it truly was, advice on what to do..

I 23(F) worked for an 80(M) Dentist for about 3 years, and what I observed and endured as an employee during that time traumatized me and made me quit dental assisting in general, not because I didn't like it but because I loved it just not the dentist and I'm going to just break it down the best I can.
Starting off this specific dentist is really well known in my city, he has been practicing for 50 years now. However not much has changed in that 50 years. His office is so old that patients will come in from 1989 and say how not a single thing has been updated or changed. The floor is carpeted with rotting wood underneath and he just doesn't care. He has like creepy dolls all around the office and creepy clowns. I almost feel like he won't change anything because he wants to still feel like he's in his prime like it's the 80's/90's still.
He denies the fact that he's getting older, he says he is 44 years old when physically and literally he is not. So maybe this is some type of symptoms of a disorder. This is just some background so you can understand the full picture.
So he only hires women of lighter complexions, also certain body size, small not to skinny but curvy but not too big. You have to have long blown out hair that's always fixed, his old rule used to be that you could not wear your hair up bc it's not appealing to him. Also you can't wear glasses for the same reason. If you were trying to get a girl to work there he would have to see a picture of her first and she couldn't have tattoos or "bad teeth" even though he would put braces on staff members for free and I witnessed that, if it was "too much" the person would be a no for him. Even having a simple nose ring was against his rules.
I started working for him when I was 19 turning 20. So I was pretty young and didn't really realize until later that all of this was just so toxic and it gets worse.And so when I found out my pregnancy was healthy I announced it and they decided to not train me on patients for pretty much my entire pregnancy because they thought i would just have my baby and leave
After being post partum and working while also being a first time mom to a baby, I begin to lose a lot of weight because I guess I was stressed. I went from being my normal weight 135 to 116 pounds.
The doctor would comment on my body and say things about my weight loss in front of patients. It made me very insecure and uncomfortable two things I have never felt in my life at a job. I started to have body dysmorphia from working for this man. When he looked at me it felt as if he was staring through me and picking me apart. And no one should I have to feel like that in the work place.
I fell into a deep depression because feeling like I can't go find a new job because as terrible as it sounds, I was attached to the toxic abuse cycle there. He would love bomb and compliment you so heavily that you almost felt bad for thinking of leaving cuz he was so old. He would say things like how much he loved your personality, you were the best employee, best with patients. It was definitely creepy. Also I felt as if I were to try to leave he would be upset or it felt like I was breaking a trusted bond. So I continued working and things...got worse
Enough about my personal experience but now for the patients.The doctor treated each patient nothing more than a dollar sign. Unless they were a known person in the community, a family friend, he would give them treatment but if they had questions or concerns about their teeth he would be very dismissive, and if they argued back he would pretty much belittle them and make them feel like they were stupid for asking a question. Saying what they wanted was "impossible" because that's "the way their teeth were". I watched him take braces off of patients and their teeth were still not aligned properly, I watched him accidentally set a patient on fire, I watched him give a girl bone loss, she lost her tooth because of something he did incorrectly.
Not to mention his entire staff has not been to any type of dental school, every single person hired basically with no experience. I was told because he couldn't "afford it", yet the man has multiple million dollar homes and luxury cars....
To even scam us further he sent us to take a super lax unsupervised "test" that he said would make us certified assistants. Came to find out that was nothing more than a piece of paper.
Not to mention probably more things he has done, like practicing half blind, also urinating on himself daily and it being reported and nothing done about it.The sterilization was absolutely horrifying. Their method is not to use an autoclave but to throw all dirty instruments in a basket and throw them in an old machine that had sterilization and water and put them through an oven baking them.
Also cold sterile which was not monitored properly, and did not soak for 24 hours. Sometimes 5-10 minutes. I just got so tired of not only him being misogynistic, but not caring for health and safety of patients, or even staff members.
And the rest of the current staff members, my heart does hurt for them for them to be in this kind of abusive cycle for so long and not want to remove themselves and realize they deserve better. This kind of environment should not be normalized. And I've watch him say god awful things about every single one of them behind their back and it's honestly sad. Why would you stand by this especially for the incredibly low amounts of pay.
Making yourself look weak to him while he sits back and laughs. It's really sad and I pray for them. And I'm telling the truth and stand by it on everything I say. No I did not get fired, I quit the job. Because I couldn't take the negativity any longer. But the more I think about it the more it angers me for people that give their money to this man.
Im currently enrolled in the Dental Hygiene program at a college. I'm really excited to become a an RDH but the thing is I'm scared working for him and just cold quitting will ruin my career. Also My question is should I report him to OSHA?
submitted by Various_Diamond5933 to askdentists [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 09:18 firm_hand-shakes Don’t turn the music down, we’re already down enough!

I had a lyric show up on my Facebook page from 2009.
“Don’t turn the music down, we’re already down enough.”
I can’t remember the band or the song name but I’m wanting to say the band is from Athens or Knoxville. The lead singer was a girl and if I remember correctly maybe had a vine tattoo on one arm. Please help.
submitted by firm_hand-shakes to WhatsThisSong [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 09:01 Shex_Zana I want to know why.

When you can’t afford therapy you come to reddit 🤷‍♀️
Jokes aside I really want to know why I feel the way I do. I used to like a girl for a while, she was physically my type and the personality had its ons and offs. We were going good for a while and kind of being close friends until shit went downhill for some casual reasons nothing too serious. The last string for me was something she did was along the lines of petty theft kinds (she bought me something that id pay back for lets say it cost 5$ she made me pay her back 25$) the money itself does NOT matter to me its what she did. I didn’t appreciate being ripped off but I also try to consider she is a girl and they get emotional and do stupid things sometimes. Basically it led to us falling apart, no big fight just going our respective ways. Heres what really fucking bothers me. SHES IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD LIKE 70% of the day. Sure she had her sweet moments and I liked her looks but I do not feel any strong love or lust for her so I just want to know why the fuck is she in my mind rent freeee. I even got in a rs after that (while the rs was going good i honestly forgot about her and I was giving the girl my all but then we broke up due to some toxicity and incompatibility) but then she comes back to my mind like that? Like I want to know what it is and if I could move on or if it’s something stuck how do I deal with it? Im like 24yo M feel free to ask any question. Would appreciate any insight.
submitted by Shex_Zana to Advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 08:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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submitted by shaneka69 to mytarotreadings [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 08:49 casefilesofVJ The Love Tunnel

-Jack
Every kid growing up in Gympie in the early 90- 2000s knew about the Love Tunnel.
The love tunnel was located over the hill from the skatepark on the Riverbank. It was a massive storm water drain filled with spray paint and lore unbound throughout the generations; the glowing dick, whose name is the furthest in, the people who live inside, the bull shark that lived under the bridge just outside, all that fun stuff.
It collapsed in the late 2000’s in a flood and was eventually rebuilt, but it was all fancy, modern, safe and not the same. Back in the day it had decades of graffiti, crumbling cement, jagged metal pole framing bent and jutting out from the sides. You know, real character.
I remember when I was just a kid at the skatepark and I spotted a bunch of other kids at the metal grating of a drain. I joined them and gazed down a few metres to some older teenagers, they had trekked through this “love tunnel” under the massive hill all this way. Badass I thought. LEGENDARY.
I talked about it at school, about this mysterious “love tunnel”. It was in view from the road when I crossed the bridge everyday on my daily commutes from the backseat of mums car.
I would gaze down at the weir and see the top of the love tunnel, sliightly hidden from view by a hill. It fascinated me.
I learned all these mysterious tales; this person slept with this person there, someone took a dump at the entrance and some other girl stood in it and now she had a nickname, someone found needles, another found a homeless woman and she screamed at them. I was pumped for the next weekend. I was going to go see it for myself.
I saw too much.
Early Saturday morning I was riding my push bike through town and toward destination adventure! I started out at the skatepark, met up with a few of the regulars, a mix of 5-19y/o everyone on the half pipes and ramps had a code of comrady that I've never found in a public place anywhere else and you always had someone to hang with.
My usual crew slowly arrived through the morning, a bunch of other 10/11 year old misfits like myself and we headed on our first place on our journey, Hungry Jacks. Now we never technically stole, we found a loophole…
One or two would order a stunner meal, then we'd take privilege of the free refills and fill up the empty plastic 4L juice jugs that we all had prepped in our backpacks. Coke and red Fanta for days.
So we got our supplies and headed behind HJ, past the volleyball courts and headed down a bush track down to the river.
We walked along the banks to loop back down to where the bridge was, we passed a few teenagers fishing and a couple other groups of kids swinging from rope swings into the water or huddled in groups smoking things they shouldn't.
We eventually arrived at the weir and the stormwater drain that I had been so intrigued by. The Love Tunnel.
Climbing up the hill and seeing it up close when you were just a tiny human. It was like staring into the dark abyss of hell.
There was a small stream of water flowing out of the big grey cylinder and it was covered in multicolored quotes and crude pictures that was very eye opening at the time.
Our voices echoed as one by one we climbed up the grassy, eroding clay edging that was the makeshift path into the mouth that probably changed each time it rained. Each of us had pulled out clumps of grass that we thought were handholds. If you fell, you fell down an embankment of slippery jagged rocks poking out from the fast flowing river.
So were inside and began to walk a couple of metres in then around us the light abruptly disappeared into complete darkness. And I remember the way the sounds traveled you could feel it through your chest it was mesmerizing.
I remember bravely stepping into the darkness and taking five or six steps in. That thick darkness was something else, I ran myself back to that entrance and light, heart pounding from the adrenaline.
This turned into a game of who could go in the furthest. This stopped when one of the boys screamed out from the darkness in pain.
He was back in the light teary eyed a few moments later wet on one side and feigning a laugh. He'd slipped down and cut open his knee, it was hilarious. We teased him saying he was going to get gangrene and leprosy and a myriad of other ailments we had no idea actually was.
We decided to bail, we forgot torches, we didn't plan that part out too well, and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon being little menaces.
We met the next day with a game plan, we had an array of various sized torches, from small ones that didn't do anything, one of those giant rectangle ones that was our main light source, a couple of handheld ones, one which flickered and the other stopped working before we even got into the tunnel.
We got in safely and tested out our torches and began walking into the unknown. It was pretty much the same as before, but there were strange things, old makeshift bongs, shopping bags, random shoes, a shopping trolley, a mattress that was all moldy and rotted. I still to this day do not understand how people managed to get that shit in there.
We passed a section where someone had thrown a can of red paint all over the walls, the amount of those ‘S’ symbols was more terrifying.
We saw light up ahead, we were passing our first grate. It was kind of daunting looking up towards it. Even getting on each other's shoulders we couldn't reach. There was an array of broken beer bottles and glass was everywhere, under the grate was a dead snake amongst some debris.
We had a debate whether to go further, we ended up going on at least until the next grate, we came to a fork, one seemed like a smaller offshoot so we stuck to the bigger side.
There were more offshoots and we came to a part where the big pipes split off into three under another grate. We gazed up hoping to get an identifier of our location, but all we could see was blue. We called out to see if we could get anyone's attention.
“Cooooweeee” we shouted in unison, the sound echoing in all directions.
We were laughing and having a grand time until something shouted back, something that still shakes me to my core to this day.
Some yobbo crackhead chick in her fifties with this ratty pink tank top that was all stretched half showing her saggy titties. “What the fuck you think you little cunts doing down here.” This chick screeched at us through her few teeth or something along the lines of that. She just exploded at us with a barrage of threats.
We were shocked silenced moving together to make one mass.
One of the boys screamed when a skinny guy emerged from the darkness. He was covered in tattoos with scraggly hair and a beard, he was all crazy eyed and pantless.
Someone yelled out to run and it was all the motivation we needed.
We could hear them screaming and the guy ran after us, we heard glass shattering behind us, they must have thrown a bottle. We were legging it.
We got split up in our running, I fell down, tripping over some rubbish, one mate stayed back to help me, this left us without a torch. We came across the same kid who slipped over yesterday, he had slipped down again cutting open his other knee. He wore those with badges of honor at school, but he was blubbering like a baby at this point.
He had the flickering torch and it disoriented us more than helped, as it turned on and off every time he took a step. I thought we were lost but we found the other grate, then eventually the entrance.
The others were already climbed down, we were soon by their side panting in the grass and wiping away our tears so the others couldn't see.
We ran back over to the skatepark and immediately told every kid we saw.
That was the wildest shit we had ever experienced. Sure we’d seen crazy up on the street but to have it jump out at you from the shadows in a storm water drain was next level.
By that night one of the other boys had spilled to his parents about our escapades and a couple of other mums got phone calls, three got in trouble, two of us didn't, including me.
I never stepped foot back in that tunnel, I swam at the weir more times than I could count afterwards though and never encountered anyone else too sketchy.
I think only a year or two later I saw on the news people dying in storm water drains somewhere else in Aus, we never realized how dangerous they could be back then. Lol.
Every party or get together afterwards it was a crowd favorite to bring up. It was a good conversation starter and joined the tales amongst my friends of the weird shit that happens in ‘Helltown’.
Growing up and looking back they were probably just homeless drug addicts freaked out from a bunch of children's voices yelling out coooweee from the underground where they thought they were alone. That would have scared the shit outta me if I was them.
Good times.
.VJ
Tl:Dr kids go into storm water drain and find creepy couple who scream at them.
submitted by casefilesofVJ to creepyencounters [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 08:30 creepypond My mother wants to meet over memorial weekend, she wants me to fly out a day to visit before I’m getting married.

This is a long read sorry!
Hi, I (22F) literally just joined, I have been on reddit for a while now, I post here or there but I really need the grace that only reddit seems to have, kisses but you know it's true. So, I guess, I am screaming into the void, because the truth is I am so gutturally confused.
Like the title says- I have always fantasized of being a flower child, a changeling, of turning towards the corner of the yard, the woods beckoning me to run away, the gentleness of which the coyotes would pick my bones clean. My childhood felt like a house fire only I could see.
My father's nightcap of whiskey got less and less watered down as nights were uncomfortable to spend on the family room couch. The one that he fiercely protects, once threatening my friend who mistakenly lounged in his spot. My mother's love felt scarce, a luxury only my younger sister could afford. Between that and her ambition to become the first nurse and college graduate of both families, I was more of my father's daughter. My younger sister and I were doll-like children, meek and polite to the price of our own dignity and self. To give a brief snapshot of what it was like being raised by them \~ even though "I'm remembering it all wrong, or not at all" I will try to go in chronological order, but you can quickly see most of these were not isolated incidents and I jump around:
-daily spankings because of crying during daycare drop off (fair technique)
-tricking us out of the "broken" car, in the rain on a dirt road "get gas" and proceeded to speed past us laughing as we ran after his taillights in the mud, we were in another country, on a solo trip with just our dad, we were both elementary school age.
-In elementary school and 6th grade I lived in a sweatshirt because when I hit puberty. I pleaded to my mother how hard it was to hear my father's constant comments about my womanhood and new body. He started to compare me to a hooker around this time, calling me a slut for trying to wear what my friends wore to school- leggings, shorts shorter than the knee but not offensively short I promise, though I strongly feel as clothing does not mean consent.
-For as long as I can remember, he would take pictures of us when we looked embarrassed then show it to family, friends, whoever in conversation in front of us then scold us when we inevitably felt bad or asked him to stop. He would also promise to delete the photo but would continue the previously mentioned above.
-So far, I have just been harping on my father, but the truth is they are a match made in hell, and though I feel like my mother is a victim in her own way. It was very hard to exist without their constant horrible comments about my appearance and character. They both shamed skinny children to be thinner, critiqued my body through puberty, and felt entitled to touch my body when and how they wanted. Examples include my father's frequent ass grabbing, and then allowing his adult male friend to do the same.
-They both would ridicule me for working minimum wage jobs in high school, while my father funnels out of my sister and I's joint accounts, only when we confront him does he fess that he required the money we earned for ourselves for the "mortgage". He continues as well as set monetary account goals, right before trips or plans, he would always be surprised that we had managed to scrape together enough money. He expects me to find a place that will fire and schedule me on a winter vacation, or to amount 5k in less than 3 months, while paying for my own necessities, thank you for teaching me to live on frugality as a means of survival.
-The name calling I touched on, but I would be the first to come home from school, my father would take his lunch to come home and berate me verbally of how much of a loser I am and will continue to be. The verbal arguments were daily, I fully admit to yelling back but in truth I couldn't leave his spewing red face hurling threats, I had to stay glued in place until he had his fill.
-Another solo trip with my father and sister, my mother had cleaned my room while we were away and had found my treasures- vapes, two beers. I got pulled out of the running shower to be beaten on and off through the night whenever my father took a break from tv, my sister sob in the room with my father to stop and I sat on the couch until morning. We had a tourist excursion the next day and I got it again before we left because I was not to "ruining the rest of his vacation with my bad attitude"
-They locked away my childhood cat, sick with cancer, to die alone in the basement so she would ruin their floors with her incontinence. When she passed, they did not tell me, they buried her in the woods behind our house, I wish I could lay beside her, I'm sorry little one.
-My father would come home and yell at me for not having dinner ready for him, because when my mother worked late or was not home, the next one responsible for dinner was my younger sister or me.
-He physically corners us or refuses to let us leave. Threatened my life when I tried to leave the house during an argument.
-Put his hand through the door a couple of times because I “gave attitude” by responding with ok. Readers, please note I am capable of attitude, but this was not the case, I was scared, and I just wanted to give him whatever answer he wanted
-I'm a summer birthday, so for my big 21st I had my cousin, bf and sister have a pool party in my parents' pool. No one told me the plan all day. I was told to just relax by everyone, because normally I would be running around serving people or helping my parents. No one told me anything, so we played some games in the yard, had some wine coolers and then swam. My father flies outside and starts yelling at me from the side of the pool to get my ass out and blow out my candles because he needs to drive my cousin 20 minutes home each way. So, I blew out my candles, soaking wet staring daggers because my father has always managed to underplay or make me feel bad on my birthday too? Another grievance from my 21st birthday is that my father grilled frozen steaks, and I truly do not want to seem like a stuck-up princess, but he proceeded to buy 300$ of food from my favorite restaurant and his favorite food is steak not mine. Note his birthday is the next day following mine.
I may post in regard to the tribulation that was my childhood in this thread again, but it takes a lot out of me, and I have already had myself a day sorry. Now you're all caught up and I just want you to know-
I have long ruminated over my own words and actions; though I have many regrets I do not feel ashamed of my choices or who I am because I try to treat everyone with kindness and most importantly respectability. I know the lengths my immigrant parents have gone through to build themselves a life. I know the struggles my father had with his father, the alcoholic who raised him with cruelty reserved for not even a barn animal. I know that my mother lived in the shadows as a neglected middle child hoping to find someone who realized all her good in the way her parents did not. I can see and understand that I carry the same wounds, and now it is within my responsibility to be better.
So, my relationship with my parents is strained right now. I have been in low contact with my mother and father for nearly four years, with periods of better contact. We have tried therapy, though it's difficult as my mother uses this as an opportunity to explore her wounds rather than our history or relationship. Though the therapist was helpful in directing the conversation back, I believe that the work can only happen with the person wanting to actually work on themselves, so I feel like I am at a frustrating impasse.
Every time I feel like I can take out a brick between the wall I keep between us, my mother will say something that makes me build another layer. I try not to be sensitive, yet I know my mother likes to cut with her words, though she claims otherwise. In a recent conversation my mother admitted that my father and she spent a great effort in making sure my beauty did not go to my head and did this in order to keep me humble.
For context, my mother’s side of the family does not like my father, and this along with other childhood issues festering into adulthood drove a wedge between my mother and her younger brother. His recent divorce and my mother’s empty nest have given them much time and space to rekindle their sibling relationship. So on our already strained phone calls she hits me with these metaphors of her brother and her relationship to ours. Am I off for thinking that those are two very different relationships, yet both have.. Jealousy? Furthermore, I feel a looney because I am fighting to keep them in my life, and they are fighting to be right.? To be absolved of the guilt and shame that maybe they did do the wrong thing.?
What gives them the right? When we all have to lay away at night with our guilt you want me to hold yours? I want a mother and they want a guiltless soul
Truthfully, I do not know what kind of future lies ahead for us. I think I grieve having bullies instead of parents, of what I missed out on and who I could have been. Like I said I am low contact right now, but after a normal phone call talking about the weather and our pets today, I had an anxiety attack to the point I fought to stay conscious. This has not been the first time I have fainted due to anxiety, mostly surrounding situations that remind me of them or things they punished or did to me in the past. The day after I wished my father a happy birthday after a year of no contact, I got two pills of ativan to the face after a ER visit in which they thought my poor bf was trafficking me. Though this is maybe too much, I am always sweating, my sides literally pour, my hands shake, and I can string together a sentence if I try. I feel like a different person, a moist, meek person.. which is not me, I self tattoo and pierce, I can and have tackled an attacking dog and I have punched touchy men square in the nose. I’m tough because I fought tooth and nail to be kind and gentle, we rescued cats and recently a possum, and we let out spiders and bugs, so our cats don’t terrorize them.
Here’s the thing… we’re getting married!
We’re tying the knot in the woods at the end of May, but I feel like an asshole because I have not told my parents. They know we’re engaged.
My mother, in a recent phone call, told me of this travel nurse that she had gotten close to, that was getting married soon, and invited my mother to go dress shopping with her. My mother told me how sad this girl felt that her family was all the way across the country, coincidently much like we are. This felt like she was guilting me, but she went so far as to send me a picture of a couple, I didn’t verify who it actually was.
Another issue is I am dealing with the guilt of getting a ring and bands elsewhere. My father is a high-end jeweler whose work has been showcased by celebs, my whole life I heard that my father was going to design and make my engagement ring. After long consideration, we picked out a ring from Madrid that felt more like me. When I look at my wedding rings I want to think of my husband not my father. I am more than happy with anything else, rings for other occasions, but it makes my skin crawl and my stomach curling because part of me feels as if it's more of a collar than a ring then.
My mother wants to meet over memorial weekend, she wants me to fly out a day to visit before I’m getting married.
I do not know if I should facetime them and break the news before, after or invite them. It’s already last minute so airfare will be expensive, but I know they are going to be so heartbroken. Part of me does not want them there either because I have felt alone my whole life, I figured I would do my wedding the same way, though it's hard because my fiancé's family will be there, and I will have no one. I wish I could hire a friend... lol typed that with a tear in my eye that's ironic.
Suggestions please
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