Fun nyc restaurants

MaxFun NYC

2019.07.26 06:38 jeremyfrankly MaxFun NYC

**[RESTRICTED FOR SUNSETTING]** The Greater New York City Area's Unofficial MaximumFun.org Fan (and Friend) Community. Are you a fan of JJGO? Is John Hodgman your highest authority? Are you a Bumper? A FloppePeach? Are all your paisans MBMBaMinos? If you live in the NYC area, come meet and chat with your fellow Maximum Fun fans, make new friends, and find the coolest things to do in the city!
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2014.08.07 21:52 AOL_ Food Los Angeles

Food Los Angeles is dedicated to showcasing food from all over the greater Los Angeles area. Share pictures, reviews and news, and get food advice straight from the hungry Angelenos that know best!
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2012.08.10 19:45 qadm Ask NYC

Please read the sidebar on old.reddit.com/asknyc before posting since new reddit does not allow space for rules/links/guidance.
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2024.05.14 10:37 Straight-Ad5994 Miths about going out alone.

So I am a guy that goes out alone because I like the atmosphere and really rarely meeting someone with the same mentality
I want to break some miths people have about going to clubs,bars or just coffee and restaurants alone
Mith 1: People do treat you like a weirdo or look at you like you have something in mind
Mith 2: You won't meet people like you 90% of the time. And unlike most gurus most people won't want to hookup.
Mith 3: The staff only cares about your money they are rarely actually trying to be a friend in clubs or restaurants and coffee shops. Bars are a exception.
Mith 4: It depends if it's a waste of time or not sitting in your room doing nothing and sitting in a club doing nothing doesn't make a difference.
Mith 5: I don't buy more stuff if the service is not great so I can confirm that even if you come buy a cola and just sit their for 5 hours they won't ask you to leave.
Mith 6: Going to a restaurant or a coffee shop alone the service suddenly becomes a couple of levels worst I don't know why. So you won't be treated the same
Mith 7: Because I don't get drunk in these places, sometimes you get to witness the aftermath of people doing it in the toilet that is glorified by a lot of social media hookups etc but as a person just going their and chilling it really gets you depressed.
Mith 8: People their are really manipulative they aren't the greatest so watch out. But sometimes they are honest and because you are just standing there doing nothing they will ask you to hold their stuff watch this etc.
Mith 9: You will probably meet a love interest unlike what they say ( I fucked up in my case because I wasn't interested and was not in the mood ) but probably it was the best person I met.
Mith 10 : Your BF or GF will not cheat on you if she goes clubbing with girls ... Most people their already are in a relationship so yeah
That's advice yes it does fix social anxiety no it will not fix your dating life at least for me it isn't helping.
Yes I am a exception in some regards because I like people watching in general so going out for fun isn't my intention a lot of the time tasting stuff and just seeing all types of people is my thing
I was going to post this on social skills because certain words are automoderated I can't
This is all
submitted by Straight-Ad5994 to socialanxiety [link] [comments]

2024.05.14 10:24 Unusual-Persimmon458 AITA for defending my girlfriend and I from a potential stalker?

My girlfriend and her friends went out to a restaurant and a guy that I've known since childhood, I'll call him AA, who wasn’t even invited, came to the restaurant with them and was just hanging around they'd been telling him to go away he left then came back they told him leave but instead, (* at this point they've left the restaurant*) he was walking around with them but distancing and keep turning back as if he was tailing them nd was talking as if he was invited to the outing saying “it’s so fun being with you guys” “oh I love coming out with you”
he attempted talking to my girlfriend but she walked off. he tried talking to one of her friends, Ill call KK, she told him go away and gave him side eye but he wasn’t going. He gave up, but once they went back to the restaurant he was back in his spirit coming to them again. My girlfriend tried to get KK and another friend to get upstairs away from him he was trying to make the friend stay saying “hmmm I’ll buy you if…” stuff like that my girlfriend was getting really mad and KK saw and we finally went up he followed us up he followed us up then we told him just go but he stayed then finally left.
(bare in mind that I wasn't there with my girlfriend and her friends when this happened)
Few days later, I'm with my girlfriend and AA comes up to the two of us with 3 friends, I'll call the important one to this BB, to "confront her about lying on AA's name".and obviously my girlfriend is uncomfortable and decides to leave, so I'm on my own now. And BB tries going to find my girlfriend but I grab him and stop him from doing so. AA grabs me trying to take me off of BB but now I'm provoked,
(whenever I feel provoked/the intention of harming me from someone, i naturally go after them)
and I I'm holding both of them by myself (* also AA is taller, bigger and stronger than me*) and we go on like this a few minutes just grabbing / pushing/insulting each other until people pull us off each other. Now at this point I'm beyond angry bc AA has done this two times previously which I warned him to not do again and he said he wouldn't do it again & has said things which I don't think I can mention on here.
So, AITA?
submitted by Unusual-Persimmon458 to AITAH [link] [comments]

2024.05.14 10:19 ApricotAfter I wish I could have fun again.

I’ve been struggling with anxiety for years but for some reason recently, it’s been so bad that i’ll have panic attacks in the most random places. Restaurants no matter who I’m with, Concert venues, even at my friends homes. I used to go out to concerts every weekend. Now I have an upcoming concert for my favorite band and i’m anticipating having a panic attack while i’m there. I’ve ruined many nights that could have been great and fun because of my stupid brain. I start to manually breathe and my heart races, i start to panic looking for any potential escape. I can’t do this anymore. Why am I like this? Does anyone know ways to cope with this? I’m afraid of embarrassing myself in public by having a meltdown or passing out. I just wish i could have fun again. I recently quit marijuana use because it was contributing to the problem. Does anxiety medication even work? I’ve never been on it but i’m considering going to get diagnosed. I’m willing to do anything. I just Can’t stand being this way.
submitted by ApricotAfter to Anxiety [link] [comments]

2024.05.14 10:12 Jenn-prins Looking for an active server

Hello!
Im looking for a Minecraft server to play in. First about me. Im 21 years old. Currently working in a restaurant, and a home study for animal caring. I play minecraft for about 5 years (but fan for longer😝). I love to build, some adventures, and achieving new things, but it gets lonely🤣
So, im looking for a 20+ server in version 1.20. I play on my laptop so i cant run a very heavy server. Im not an expert in adding mods or understanding the ways of a discord server, but with little explanation ill go far😂 Ill be able to download a few mods if necessary.
Hope to find a fun server with active people to have a laugh with!!
submitted by Jenn-prins to MinecraftBuddies [link] [comments]

2024.05.14 09:36 MayaDaBee1250 How to Make Careers More Dynamic and Interesting

Many of us watched the latest Careers tutorial and walked away a bit less than enthused given the lack of gameplay that was shown. I like the ambition of having absolutely no rabbitholes in the world and having each career be an open and active career but in order to do that, you need to have all the careers have some core gameplay to it that will make it interesting, otherwise, you just have rabbitholes we can see into and are taking up game performance.
Here are 5 ideas of what core features I think they should consider for careers. I say core features because I know they expect that the community will and should create mods that add more features to careers but I believe for all aspects of the game, there is core gameplay that the developers need to put in so we do not feel like we NEED mods to make an interesting and fun gaming experience.
Core Features for LBY Careers:
  1. Inactive/non-controlled characters should be routinely pushed to your active character's job lot during your shift. We all saw how empty the tutorial worlds are and that really affects the ability to make even the most exciting job interesting if you are the only one around. The devs need to ensure that there are people around for you to interact with and should mark lots that have your active/controlled person there with a high attractiveness so inactives are more drawn to that lot. This does not mean that everyone in town should show up but it should be relative to the type of lot. For example, if you work at a library, it would be natural for there not to be a lot of people but definitely bookworms, loners, people that like peace and quiet should be pushed to that lot. Whereas if you work at a bar or a restaurant, it should attract a wide range of people and I would expect those places to busy at specific times.
  2. Ability to set business traffic hours. Related to the above, for career lots, we should be able to set the hours when we want a high attractiveness for that lot. So for example, if you work at a cafe lot, you would probably set your high traffic hours around the morning (7am-10am) vs a restaurant or bar which would more likely be in the evening (7pm-10pm). This will allow for a good flow between you having to focus just on work tasks, helping customers and having downtime to goof off, socialize, take breaks, etc. making your days more interesting and allowing you to be more strategic with your time management.
  3. Coworkers. This is a must. Once you assign your active chara to a career lot, the game should automatically assign 2-3 coworkers to the lot as well if there aren't already. Just like in real life, your interactions with your coworkers is what makes your job interesting or not. There should also be work-specific dialogue/conversations built in (which can be expanded with mods). As long as the relationship mechanics are there in the game and the AI is working as it should, just the existence of coworkers should make playing your career more dynamic.
  4. Meaningful Tasks and Interactions that impact career progression. In the tutorial, we saw the tasks were just box-checking exercises (literally) that seemingly had no impact to your chara or their job. Tasks need to have an impact. If I don't do a task, there needs to be a reason why it affects my job performance. For example, for the grocery store job, shelves should get emptied as customers make purchases and only then should I need to restock them. If I don't restock them then customers will have nothing to purchase and my job performance should suffer from that. If there's a spill on the ground and I don't clean it up, someone could then slip and fall on it and sue the company and I could get fined for that or lose my job. We know you can shoplift in the store so there should bonuses for employees catching shoplifters which in itself is like a minigame. Also if you catch your coworker stealing from the register, you can report them to management which might get them demoted or fired but might get you promoted or give you a bonus. Tasks need to be there for a reason.
  5. Think "jobs" vs. "careers" and treat them differently. Working at a grocery store or retail store is a job so it's very task-oriented but working as a lawyer or a marketing exec is a career so should be less about tasks and more about accomplishing long-term goals to advance your career. Rather than having one-off tasks for these types of jobs, tasks should be more long-term and complex, for example, building relationships or advancing yourself in certain skills. Also think about projects that can be given to our charas as tasks that operate as quests so it requires multiple steps and days to complete. And because it's quest based, it's customizable and easily moddable since there is a Quest Editor in the game.
These are my 5 but interested to hear what others think should be considered core career gameplay that needs to be in the game.
submitted by MayaDaBee1250 to LifeByYou [link] [comments]

2024.05.14 07:24 Ok_Banana_9883 Will I be bored? (The answer is likely yes, and sorry, this is on the longer side)

TL;DR: The frequent "Will I be bored?" question, but for an extreme introvert who doesn't care at all about the on-ship activities.
So, after wearing me down for two years (kidding-ish), last summer my family finally convinced me to join them on a Caribbean cruise that leaves Miami in about two weeks. I think I'm looking forward more to spending a weekend in Miami beforehand than to the cruise itself. I'm going on the cruise because it's to celebrate a graduation, which I'm all for.
As to the cruise, I have a cabin to myself (not a solo cabin). My parents and my sibling's family have adjoining cabins. Three in a row, all balconies. The cruise is on NCL Sky, a Caribbean loop from Miami. It includes I'm guessing standard ports like Puerto Plata, DR and San Juan, PR. Two excursions - a tour / food tasting in Antigua and a tour of the ship on one of the days at sea.
I enjoy researching, planning, deciding. I like preparing for a vacation almost as much as the trip itself. So a cruise making so many decisions for me just doesn't sit well with me. I also prefer spending a week in one place and get to know it, almost like I'm living there, not less than a day in a place and moving on. I know many people use cruises as a preview to then visit again later, but for me, I want to revisit pretty much all of them (assuming they are all safe, I'd be up for visiting every country and every major city in the world).
I do look forward to the ports, but I dread the time on the ship, particularly the two days at sea, outside of the tour. Most of the activities seem more extrovert / social oriented. Unfortunately I can make introverts look more like extroverts (I haven't seen a human in a week? Okay with me. I have literally one friend whom I see roughly once a month, and I work from home). Stuff like karaoke, dance lessons, bingo, casino, etc... eh, I can live without all of those.
Fun facts: While I love reading, I can only read for maybe 1-2 hours at a time, so I don't see myself reading all day long. I'll use my balcony, but if I use it too much my family will think I'm anti-social. While on any vacation, I'm very anti-technology so I don't want to just watch movies or something, and I'm all about experiencing things I can't experience at home, but that's usually museums, local restaurants, landmarks, things like that, when visiting a city. Otherwise I would just have a staycation.
So, especially for those who are super introverted, how do you get through the time on ship? I'll watch the water some, and visit the bars, but I'm thinking overall I'll just be rotating a few more tolerable activities.
I promise, I hope I enjoy it. I want to enjoy it. And I'm sure I'll spend time wandering the ship, see at least one show, stuff like that. I'm just uncertain about how to fill something like 50 hours over 9 days on a ship with a ton of activities I have hardly any interest in.
TIA!
submitted by Ok_Banana_9883 to Cruise [link] [comments]

2024.05.14 07:17 Lollybug3739 Just Thinking Out Loud-Advice Welcome

I have been dating my long-distance boyfriend for almost four months now. I can't remember being this happy and excited in years. He makes me feel safe, welcome, wanted, all the things that I feel I don't often get from my family. We are seriously considering getting married. Yes, I know it is very fast, but my parents were married after only a few months, and have been married almost 30 years.
My boyfriend lives in Germany and I am from the US. I grew up in a religious household, while he does not believe in the Christian God. I personally am not too bothered by this-except for my family. Because we are "uber" religious, I have had numerous talks, chats, and even public confrontations over my even considering dating a non-Christian, much less marrying one. Recently, I received a medical diagnosis completely out of the blue: I went to the ER for a skin infection and walked out with a diagnosis for type 2 diabetes. My entire lifestyle is being uprooted and changed so I can get my health under control. However, this diagnosis has me unsure of where I stand with my faith. I haven't told any of my family that my faith is nearly gone, that I am tired of being a part of the American church anymore. Even my boyfriend, very respectfully of course but still firmly, is telling me that ignoring this issue is not an option.
On the note of public confrontation: I was yelled at (at least voices raised to me) by my grandfather in a public restaurant after I announced to him mine and my boyfriend's intent to hopefully get married. He spouted off saying that he could not congratulate me on a forthcoming marriage when my bf and I would be unequally yoked in a religious sense. It was my fault for telling him, I knew what would happen and I did it anyway. I did not respond to him at all, simply listened, and walked away when he was finished.
My parents are a bit more understanding. Whatever differences we have, or how I feel about them (our relationship can be a little strained at times because of them constantly gone or focused on other things/my siblings), they have spoken to me quite seriously about marrying someone not of my faith. But, my dad has specifically told me that everything I choose, it is on me. They cannot stop me, nor will they try. I'm finally feel like I'm being seen as an adult, maybe not among every single person in my extended family, but I and my family are having fun discussing mine and my bf's plans for our future together.
We have decided that although we are very sure we want to get married, it is incredibly wise to get to know each other better. He is finding a place for me to come live for a little while in Germany, so that I can meet him and his family, and figure out if Germany is a place that I actually COULD live.
We've already been through a couple of really really tough life circumstances in just the few months that we have been together. I've watched us grow, especially myself in ways I never thought possible. He challenges me, yet allows me to be myself, constantly asks for my input on even the smallest things, dotes on me, and just is quite honestly the best person to ever walk into my life.
I don't really know what else to say. If anyone actually sees and reads this, and has questions or comments I'll do my best to answer them. Otherwise, I was just kind of throwing my thoughts out there in the closest relevant space I could find and seeing what would happen. Thank you for your time. :)
submitted by Lollybug3739 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]

2024.05.14 07:10 FirstThru How do I (30M) progress this potential relationship with the woman (30F) I am talking to?

There is more to it than the title. I was engaged to be married to a woman I was with for almost four years. In our last year together, she pretty much treated me like a ghost, ignoring messages, not wanting to go on dates, and the last straw was blocking me on social media. I did everything to keep the relationship alive, working long hours, going to visit her in her city every month, trying to talk to her, but she kept pushing me away. Eventually our last conversation was over the phone, at night, and her last words to me were "I don't love you now," "I am seeing someone else," and "I need you to back off." This was after Valentine’s Day, after a hard day of work, after I sent her a valentine gift. I was devastated and pretty much cursed out God, blamed the world, blamed myself for the relationship ending after I did everything I could to keep it. To this day I have doubt I am worthy to be a child of God, that I failed my family, I failed myself, and I failed at life. I was severely depressed for a long time. I am still depressed, but I have a better handle on it now.
A few months after the relationship ended, I have mixed feelings of love and hate towards my ex. I cannot forgive her, no matter how hard I tried. I have tried deeply and daily to forgive her, but I do not believe I can. I have not spoken to her since Feb 2023. I have blocked her on all social media. The only way she can contact me is by email, letter, or by going to my parents’ home. I have already told myself, if she ever wants to talk to me, it must be in person, no other way. I will not talk to people solely through social media anymore, it must be face to face or on an actual voice call (no voice messages) if we live in the same city.
In June 2023, I move to China and am working as an English teacher. I wanted to get far away from the past and I did. My family are supportive of my decision.
In July 2023, I met this sweet and intelligent woman through a language exchange app. We simply wanted to help each other practice English, Spanish, and Chinese. After a week or so she asked to have dinner with me as friends and I thought nothing of it. I was still recovering from the last relationship and wanted nothing to do with a new one. She chose a cool restaurant, had a bar, Mexican food, and great drinks. I expected the meetup to be about 30 minutes. It ended up being 3 hours. We had no idea that time flew quickly. The conversation we had was fun. The day we had dinner was the last day I was staying in her city, I had to move to another Chinese city in China for work. I never stopped thinking about her.
Few months pass by and its December 2023. I told myself “Screw it." I went online and ordered a bouquet of flowers to be delivered to her home. Once the order was made, I thought nothing of it and continued my routines for the next few days. The flowers were going to be delivered on Christmas. Christmas is not a big holiday in China. I got anxious as the day got closer. I thought “what am I doing? I only met her once in person, we are language partners, I live in a different city, she and I are full time workers… blah blah blah.” At this point there was nothing I could do; I could not cancel the order. Christmas day comes, its dinner time, I am chilling with other foreigners, and I got a notification from the woman saying, “thank you for the flowers, they are beautiful.” I asked if we could chat, and she said of course. I do not know what came over me, I was scared but I wanted to be honest with her.
She told me “This is not a gift for a friend.” I responded in honesty “I have been thinking about you since the night we had dinner and I want to know if you could give me the chance to impress you and become your partner.” She said, “I had been waiting for you to do that, I do not know if it is romantic, but I do like you and would like to know you more.” This was a great feeling. I was happy and thankful. I thanked God and myself for doing it.
We met up a few weeks ago in her city and we had a wonderful dinner, we spent the entire day together, talking, walking, exchanging ideas, enjoying each other’s company. We even challenged each other to be healthier. Next time I see her, I must do 30 pushups and she has to do 1 pushup (not fair, but if I win, she has to ride a bike with me around a park). We have given each other cute nicknames; she calls me “Winnie the Pooh” and I call her “Honey.” She asked me why I call her “Honey” and I told her because, “Winnie the Pooh likes Honey.”
We kept our language exchange schedule, and we understand that we are both busy with work and taking this relationship slow is good for us. She has told me multiple times that she wants me in her city. Whether she wants me or not, I have always planned to go back to that city. The weather is nice, there are more things to do, it’s closer to other major cities.
There are so many times I want to talk to her, but the fear and past experiences shake me to the core. I TRULY want to talk to her, about anything. Hearing and listening to her speak about her passions and hobbies is joyous to me. We always exchange ideas in our weekly exchanges. I do not want to say, “I love her,” I am too scared to say that. However, I want her as my girlfriend. I just do not know what to do to overcome this fear and progress our relationship further.
Note: If anyone is wondering, yes, she is Chinese. I am American but my appearance is Hispanic.
submitted by FirstThru to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2024.05.14 06:57 lsqj Feedback Please

I made a site where you can anonymously review different restaurants and also see their sanitation score and if they have ever committed wage theft.
Is this useful to you all? I am a linecook in nyc, but a covid career switcher from tech to cooking. I feel like the more reviews it has the more useful it'll be.
submitted by lsqj to KitchenConfidential [link] [comments]

2024.05.14 06:01 AnnualStress5 AITA for going to my brother's wedding even though he uninvited our mom?

Is it too much to ask that this makes it onto the channel but that my family doesn't realize it's me?
Probably, but here we go.
Who: Mom, Brother, SIL (sister-in-law), Aunt, Uncle, Cousin, Dad, and me
When: between 2020 and 2022
Where: the beach and the mountains
What: a wedding
Why: true love ❤️
Our story goes way back to before the wedding in 2022 but after the engagement of Brother and SIL in 2020. It starts in 2021 on a week long vacation to the beach for Mom's 50th birthday. We were staying in a very picturesque condo with 3 separate bedrooms that had direct beach access and the unit was absolutely beautiful with the most amazing views off the patio. On this vacation were 6 people: Mom, Brother, SIL, Aunt, Cousin, and me. We were roomed in pairs: Brother and SIL, Aunt and Cousin, Mom and me. This vacation had been planned months in advance and Mom was so excited she planned out a week of fun activities including a sunset cruise to see dolphins, mini golfing, restaurants, of course beach time, and more.
It was supposed to be a lovely week that was unfortunately marred very quickly by a nasty fight. We arrived late on a Friday and were scheduled to be out by the following Friday. Sunday night after dinner there was a massive argument between SIL and I. I don't even remember all the details now. It culminated when she called me a brat and I called her a b**** and we stormed off to our separate rooms. From here there are 2 versions of the rest of the night.
Mom's Version: While I had a massive panic attack - because I'm Mentally Sick™ - Mom went to the bedroom where Brother and SIL were. She tried to talk to them and tell SIL that she was been very mean to me. She implored SIL to apologize to me, but SIL was being stubborn and refused to talk to me. Mom eventually left the room and came to help me calm down in our room.
SIL's Version: While I had a massive panic attach - because I'm Mentally Sick™ - Mom went to the bedroom where Brother and SIL were. SIL says that Mom started screaming at her and Brother calling them all sorts of nasty names and other terrible things. She even accused SIL of being an abusive person. Meanwhile, Brother was having an epileptic seizure on the bed due to the stress of it all. SIL started crying and having a panic attack of her own as well. Eventually, Mom left the room and came to help me calm down in our room.
I believe that there is some truth in both. I think Mom thinks she was talking nicely and that SIL was being a hard a** but she was coming across a lot louder and meaner than she thought. I also think that SIL was being a little stubborn but for good reason. If she had come out to talk to me I think the fight would have escalated further and the place would have burst into a ball of flames.
Regardless, SIL and Brother stayed in their room for the next day and a half. They only came out for food and water and didn't speak to anyone else. Aunt and Cousin tried to stay out of it but were very much in the middle and it put a bad stain on their vacation. Things cooled off by Wednesday (Mom's birthday) and we all got along mostly for the rest of the week. I apologized to SIL and she apologized to me and we've been good since then. Sadly, the same is not true for SIL, Brother, and Mom.
Throughout the following months things continued to deteriorate between Brother, SIL, and Mom. I don't know all of the details of what contributed to the downfall of their relationship. I do know that Mom continued to make wild accusations at them and then backtrack and try to apologize. This cycle continued up until the wedding.
There was one big accusation that Mom made during this time that was the nail in the coffin for her. She accused Brother of marrying SIL only because she was pregnant. What's absolutely crazy about this is that Brother proposed a year and half before the wedding. They also had their location and date reserved over a year before the wedding as well. So this wasn't even close to being a possibility, but it reallyyyyyy set off Brother and SIL.
While Mom initially got a Save the Date for the wedding, she did not receive a wedding invitation when they sent out the actual invitations. She was crushed by this news that everyone else in the family got an invitation and she, the mother of the groom, did not. Mom eventually started to tell those in the family who were going - primarily Aunt, Uncle, Dad, and I - that we shouldn't be going in solidarity with her. She said that we were "choosing sides" and "against her" because we still planned on going.
Here's the thing: Dad was officiating the wedding and Uncle was a groomsman. Also, Aunt and Uncle were supplying their homemade wine for the wedding. This left Aunt and I in a tricky spot where we wanted to support Mom while she was going through a rough time, but didn't want to skip the wedding. After all, why should we forfeit our spots when Mom kept doing things to dig herself a hole.
Are you ready for the cherry on top of this putrid mess of a wedding cake? SIL and Brother did end up inviting Mom to the wedding and sent an invitation. But they did so 2 weeks before the wedding with some stipulations. She had to sit in the back during the ceremony, she wasn't allowed to go to the reception, and her 28 year old boyfriend was not allowed to come. I think there were other things as well, but those are the main ones. This sent Mom into a frenzy where she continued to make more accusations at Brother and SIL for having the restrictions and not trusting her to behave. She also continued to accuse Aunt and I for taking sides after their "disgusting behavior."
I tried to talk Brother and SIL into inviting her and at least allowing her to come to the reception. I promised I wouldn't allow anything to happen and if something did I would take Mom out. All this to no avail.
Mom decided not to go the wedding. Her reason: she already had other plans that she didn't want to cancel. She reserved a cabin in the woods for some "me time" with her boyfriend and our half-sister. Yeah, not sure how that's "me time" but that ain't my business I suppose. *insert Kermit drinking tea*
I understand that she wanted to go to the cabin she had already paid for for a weekend away. I understand that this whole incident was traumatizing for her as well since she was being excluded from her only son's wedding. She still made the decision to not go though even with the conditions to her invitation.
At the end of the day though, it was a beautiful wedding. Everything went smoothly and though Aunt and I missed her quite a bit, we were able to have a wonderful time despite her absence.
I still stand by my choice to go to the wedding because it's not like me not going would stop the whole wedding. Nothing would have changed other than I would have missed out on a fun party and one of the most important events of my brother's life. However, I want to know what you guys think. Should I have gone? Should I have done something more to try to support my mom?
submitted by AnnualStress5 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]

2024.05.14 05:50 tigercub444 Birthday ideas for young adult

Looking for fun ideas to celebrate a bday...maybe a fun restaurant or cool boozy brunch...literally open to anything that young adults might enjoy and its a pretty big group. Note: no escape rooms, wine and paint, axe throwing, etc. Thanks!!
submitted by tigercub444 to askTO [link] [comments]

2024.05.14 05:44 courtingdisaster Presenting the evidence: 17 May 2024

Presenting the evidence: 17 May 2024
Come one, come all, we're clooowning again! 🤡
Thanks to u/1DMod for posting the Jimmy Fallon video that led to me to start to connect the dots that other creators have noticed. Long story short, we're clowning for Stockholm N1 (maybe even night ✌️ as well), buckle up clowns!

✌️

First things first, May 17 is ✌️ fortnights after the release of TTPD on April 19. We know that Taylor is still throwing up peace signs which seems unnecessary if it only ever meant that there was a second part of TTPD. I think it's an indication that we haven't completely cracked that egg yet.
This photo was necessary for the post, ok

National/International Day Of

While these days aren't necessarily solid proof of anything, Taylor did release TTPD on Poetry & The Creative Mind Day and also released the ME! music video (ME! Out now!) on Lesbian Visibility Day so I think it's definitely worth investigating.
Let's have a look at the holidays for May 17 that could be relevant:
  • Endangered Species Day - anyone remember the ✌️ trips to the zoo while in Sydney...? We also have the big cat imagery on her new 1989 outfit to consider. If you haven't read this incredible post by u/Funny-Barnacle1291, I'd urge you to stop clowning with me (just for a moment) and go and read it. Taylor's TikTok bio still reads, "this is pretty much just a cat account" which could be a surface level meaning of her posting videos of her cats, but we know miss Feline Enthusiast herself loves a layered meaning. She also compared herself to feeling, "a lot like being a tiger in a wildlife enclosure" in the Lover diaries she released (pictured below).
TNT at Sydney Zoo Paris N4 TikTok bio Lover diaries comparing herself to a tiger Sydney Zoo
  • National Pizza Party Day - I know I am personally still haunted by her Stephen Colbert interview on 13 April 2021. The interview starts with Colbert talking about Taylor's Versions and also talking about how he believes the song "Hey Stephen" is about him. What surprise song did we get on guitar Paris N3..? Important to note that this interview also talks about him "waiting tables on the lunch shift at Scoozi, an Italian restaurant in the River North area of Chicago, that, by the way, serves a really incredible slice of pizza." Taylor also goes on to say that the song is actually about Stephen King and Taylor then says "The Dark Tower series changed my life, plus The Shining, The Stand and don't even get me started on his short stories... Absolutely luminescent." This interview is obviously very strange and likely filled with easter eggs. We know that her mention of the River North area of Chicago was also the location of one of the TTPD murals that went up ahead of release.
No... This is pizza
ME! Out soon 😉
  • National Graduation Tassel Day - Taylor was awarded with an honorary doctorate at NYU in 2022. We know that her speech at this event was filled with “Midnights” easter eggs including lyrics to “Labyrinth” and “You're On Your Own, Kid”. I wonder what other easter eggs are hidden in this speech...? Here's a link to the video and you can also read the full transcript here. I'm not going to do any further digging into this one right now, just presenting it as evidence but please feel free to note anything of importance in the comments.
Dr Taylor Alison Swift
These chemicals hit me like whiiiiite wiiiiine

Direct 17/5 easter eggs

  • Tokyo N3 - One of the surprise songs during Tokyo N3 was "The Outside". This excellent video by Kristen (underthepink7 - go follow her, she's amazing) goes into some additional easter eggs that I'm not going to go into here but definitely worth a watch (which also connects to "Down Bad"). What I do want to talk about though is what Taylor said when she introduced the song. Here's a video of the performance including her speech beforehand where she says, "this song is 175 years old." At the time most people thought that it was an egg for number of days leading us to 2 August 2024. It could still be referring to this however I'm starting to believe it's related to the date.
  • Date format - Before we go any further, it's important to note that the date format in Europe (where the Eras Tour currently is) goes DD/MM/YY. This is why I think the 175 could be a date as that equates to May 17 in Europe.
  • Tokyo N4 - On 10 February 2024, the surprise songs in Tokyo were "Come In With The Rain" (track 17) and "You're On Your Own, Kid" (track 5), another 175 and in this case it's specifically 17/5.
  • Anti Hero music video - There's been some really interesting analysis that I've seen on Twitter where the timestamps in Taylor's recent music videos appear to be lining up with the date of things happening in real life. Underthepink7 and Kiturakk on Twitter have pointed out some interesting connections to the numbers 175 in the Anti Hero, Bejeweled and Willow music videos. I'll admit this could be considered a bit of a stretch but what if I told you none of it was accidental...
Is Taylor using timestamps in her self-directed music videos to refer to dates in real life?

Important days in history

These could be nothing, could be something, still worth noting.
Important events in history that may be important to Taylor

Important events in Taylor's history on this day

  • "Bad Blood" music video premiered at the Billboard Awards
  • Entertainment Weekly where Taylor is on the cover with a rainbow pin and gravestone that says "I tried" is published
  • City of Lover concert (i.e. Taylor's Lover concert performed in Paris) airs on ABC for the first time
I think we're about to recreate her sparkling summer

Stockholm

  • 88th show - Taylor made a point to let everyone know that Paris N4 was the 87th show of the tour. Yes 87 is Travis' number but what if it was also to let everyone know that Stockholm will feature both her 88th and 89th shows? Obviously 89 is an important number to her however last year we saw Taylor embracing double dates (5/5 Speak Now TV announcement, 7/7 Speak Now TV release - there's probably others, that's all I remember off the top of my head) so I don't think it's a stretch to say that the 88th show would hold significance to her. I saw this thread on Twitter yesterday regarding "portal dates" and while obviously this is referring to dates, I can see "portal shows" being potentially noteworthy. Following on from this, Kristen has highlighted some Taylor Nation tweets that include the words "17" or "May" with one of those tweets being posted on 8/8 (while quoting "Betty" of all songs...) which Kristen notes is the karmic number representing resurrection and regeneration (tweets pictured below).
Deep portal, time travel
Is Karma boutta pop-up unannounced...?
  • Beyoncé - The Renaissance World Tour kicked off on 10 May 2023 in Stockholm at the very same stadium that Taylor is performing in next weekend. To me it would make sense to start a tour named Renaissance in Italy, where the Renaissance originated not in Sweden... We've seen Taylor and Beyoncé supporting each other a lot in the last year and Beyoncé's producer recently said, "let's just say she's on the approach of shocking the world." We know she's on her own three-act journey at the moment (complete with queer-flagging in her shows and her own Biyoncé rumours) so I don't think this quote is directly related to Cowboy Carter but potentially regarding the culmination of her arc. Is it possible that her arc lines up with Taylor's creating a supernova that will change the industry forever?
Taylor & Bey supporting each other at their respective film premieres, a literal pride flag on the Renaissance Tour (it's actually just Chiefs colours, phew!)
  • Taylor recorded songs in Stockholm - Kristen notes that many of Taylor's important singles were recorded in Stockholm including "I Knew You Were Trouble", "Shake It Off", "Blank Space", "Bad Blood", "Ready For It" and "New Romantics". Perhaps this city holds a special place in her heart?
  • One Direction - paging u/1DMod to go into more detail here however noting that One Direction has a song called "Stockholm Syndrome" and the lyrics are very interesting indeed ("I used the light to guide me home"). Checkout this recent post by u/1DMod regarding the possible Larry connections to TTPD.
  • Friends Arena - The stadium in Stockholm is called the Friends Arena. Taylor had a Friends pin on her jacket on the Entertainment Weekly cover. Was this stadium always supposed to play an important role? Kristen also notes that the opening ceremony took place on 27 October 2012 (obviously 27 October is the day that 1989 was released, both times) and

New Romantics

Kristen, who I have referenced in nearly every part in this post (again, she's amazing, go follow her), has a mass coming-out theory that she has dubbed the New Romantics. I highly recommend checking out her content on Twitter and TikTok and she's also recently launched a podcast that you can read more about here for a lottttttt more information on this theory. Essentially the theory is that a large number of artists in the entertainment industry are queer and are working together as a "safety in numbers" type approach to coming out of the closet and potentially changing the industry in a monumental way.
Let's have a look at some players that are relevant to either 17 May or Stockholm (or both in one person's case!):
  • Zayn - This is the person who is relevant to both 17 May and Stockholm! Obviously he was part of One Direction who I spoke about above as having a song titled "Stockholm Syndrome". Did you know his new album "The Closet" "The Room Under The Stairs" is being released this Friday, May 17? Again, I'll leave this to u/1DMod any additional relevant information as this is not my area of expertise but from what I understand, all members have their own queer rumours.
  • Billie Eilish - Recently out as a girl kisser, Billie Eilish is also releasing an album on this day titled "Hit Me Hard and Soft" featuring a song called "Lunch" that would leave even the most homophobic Swiftie unable to defend her queerness if released by Taylor.
  • Madison Beer - Madison is out as bi. Her tour, The Spinnin Tour, began 24 February 2024 in Stockholm (a different venue though).

Theories as to what exactly is coming

  • TTPD: Part 3 - I recently made a post presenting the evidence on a potential third part to TTPD. In this post the majority of the evidence was just related to the "3s" that have been prevalent lately however there were also some "5s" which led us to believe something was happening 5/3. I've since had a couple of thoughts that maybe the "3/5" is related to her 35th birthday this year. I strongly believe she'll be out by her birthday at the latest if not ON her birthday, but I digress.
  • Karma - After the fiery (Chiefs) colours we saw displayed in Paris, I'm not sure how you could be a Karma-denier at this point to be honest! If you haven't already, check out this amazing post from yesterday by (Dr Bryanlicious2 homewrecker) u/clydelogan. Their post discuses the numerology surrounding the number 8 that I referred to earlier however could this all be pointing us to the 88th show instead of a particular date...? Also if you are somehow still a Karma-denier, I recommend reading this collobarative post that is constantly being added to if you don't know what Karma is.
Karma is REAL
  • Coming Out - I personally don't believe she would come out during a show in Stockholm, however it's worth at least noting as a possibility. It would mean that she was "out" before Pride Month 😉 She did just sing "Begin Again" as a surprise song in Paris N4 - is she beginning again as her authentic self at the very next show?
  • Book - The creator of the video that u/1DMod initially posted believes that Taylor is announcing a book on 17 May 2024 with it to be released on 21 October 2024. I'm not going to go into this theory in detail however if you are interested in finding out more about what they have to say, here are a couple of videos of theirs (video 1, video 2, video 3).
Is this another easter egg that she laid 3 years ago?

In Summation

Something is happening in Stockholm.
I don't know what exactly but it is THE ONE to watch. I'll be there talking smack in the megathread and keeping an eye out for any new Chiefs colours.
See you there, clowns! Who's clowning with me?! 🤡🤡🤡
submitted by courtingdisaster to GaylorSwift [link] [comments]

2024.05.14 05:32 tigercub444 Birthday Ideas in GTA/Toronto for Young Adults

Looking for fun ideas to celebrate a bday...maybe a fun restaurant or cool boozy brunch...literally open to anything that young adults might enjoy and its a pretty big group. Note: no escape rooms, wine and paint, axe throwing, etc. Thanks!!
submitted by tigercub444 to Vaughan [link] [comments]

2024.05.14 05:17 30DayRefund Waze questions from Goggle Maps user

I've been using Google Maps for years but just recently started using Waze because I want to hear Po from Kung Fu Panda give me driving directions. 😂 Google Maps has no fun voices! The routing and directions are good, but there are a few things that I wish could be different.
  1. If I turn on the speed cameras in the map settings, it displays all the cameras in the area. I'm in New York City so there's a lot of speed cameras around here. I wish it would only show the speed cameras that are along my route. I don't care about cameras that are on local streets several blocks to the left or right of the freeway when I'm driving on the the freeway.
  2. Same thing with displaying traffic on the map. If I turn it on, it displays all the traffic in my area. It shows traffic on nearby local streets even though my route is the freeway, it shows traffic far ahead to the left even though the route has me turning right at the next corner, etc. Again, in NYC there's tons of traffic so I don't need to see all of it on the map.. only the traffic on my route.
  3. If I turn off displaying speed cameras, then even the cameras along my route disappear. It only shows a blinking blue circle where the camera would be, instead of a camera icon in the blue circle.
I wish I could turn on map items like speed cameras and traffic display only for my route. I don't want to see all the nearby cameras and traffic because it just clutters up the map and makes the map harder to read at a glance.
submitted by 30DayRefund to waze [link] [comments]

2024.05.14 05:03 NYC3Avocado 31 [M4F] #NYC/Nearby - Fun dates, museum dates, hiking trips, food crawls, adventures in the Big Apple!

Hi there, thanks for checking out my post. I hope that you're staying safe and well during these crazy times! I am hoping to find someone who I can chat on here a while and then maybe move on to a messaging app with the intention 0f hanging out in real life and explore the big apple with, which is why I'm mainly looking for someone in the NYC area or at the maximum withing the east coast. If you think we would really click, I'm open to anywhere too but please put some effort into your first message and can actually hold a conversation. Not looking to waste each other's time! Thanks!
About me:
Looking for:
What I am hoping to see from your first DM/Chat:
submitted by NYC3Avocado to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]

2024.05.14 05:03 NYC3Avocado 31 [M4F] #NYC/Nearby - Fun dates, museum dates, hiking trips, food crawls, adventures in the Big Apple!

Hi there, thanks for checking out my post. I hope that you're staying safe and well during these crazy times! I am hoping to find someone who I can chat on here a while and then maybe move on to a messaging app with the intention 0f hanging out in real life and explore the big apple with, which is why I'm mainly looking for someone in the NYC area or at the maximum withing the east coast. If you think we would really click, I'm open to anywhere too but please put some effort into your first message and can actually hold a conversation. Not looking to waste each other's time! Thanks!
About me:
Looking for:
What I am hoping to see from your first DM/Chat:
submitted by NYC3Avocado to r4r [link] [comments]

2024.05.14 04:44 Chris_P_Bacon_Jr 33 [M4F] Spanish - Virginia Beach, VA looking for a nice, nerdy girl that's into science and medical stuff (bonus)

Hello all, as the title suggests I am looking for a cute girl that is nice and nerdy. I love to go to new restaurants, or just have a lazy day at home, watch a movie, and order grubhub. I used to also play drums professionally as a fun little fact. I still play them, but just for fun to keep my chops up to date.
I will get this out of the way - I am a Scientist (for the insurance haha) and a Margin Investor (primary job as it affords me total independence).
I look about 7-10 years younger than what I really am. I am in reasonable shape and have mid-long hair, brown eyes, brownish-black hair, 5’7”. I’ve been told I have an amazing beard if you’re into that lol. I can obviously provide proof regarding my age. I'm not too much of a fan of just throwing my picture out there but I've been told I have boyish good looks and get hit on by cougars lol.
If interested, please send me a message and we can chat!
submitted by Chris_P_Bacon_Jr to cf4cf [link] [comments]

2024.05.14 04:35 Hassan_Chop247 French like Raouls in NYC

I'm in Shanghai 1 night and heard there's good French restaurants. If anyone is familiar with NY City there's a French restaurant with good food and cool vibes called Raouls. Is there anything similar in Shanghai? I don't want a fancy restaurant with stuffy a environment or Michelin award tasting menu. Just a fun place with above average food. TIA
submitted by Hassan_Chop247 to shanghai [link] [comments]

2024.05.14 04:29 marmarmarma Travel Recommendations - Northern Italy

Hi there! My husband and I are taking our honeymoon in late July. We are flying into Milan and looking at what we should do while in Italy before leaving for Switzerland. We are definitely more of the hiking/sightseeing type of people and dont find cities as fun. We were looking at checking out Milan, the Dolomites, Venice, and lake Como. I realize all of these won't be doable, as we only have 5 days in Italy, but I would love to know your recommendations! Any hotels, restaurants, and travel tips are all appreciated! TIA!
submitted by marmarmarma to ItalyTravel [link] [comments]

2024.05.14 04:27 AwesomeEvenstar44 35 Y/O female: Burbank or Weho or?

Searching for a place while in an Airbnb and I WFH currently so I'm not tied to any commute, but can't afford super pricey areas (low-mid 6 fig. income). I've really gravitated to West Hollywood (due to neighborhood vibes and being central, plus cooler) and Burbank (cute town, safe, near Studios, etc.).
I don't want to isolate myself but being in an area that I can stay active/walk outside, but still have access to all of what LA offers, dating scene, networking, going to the theater, shopping, etc. is important to me. I don't really care about nightlife, but good restaurants are nice. Would I feel isolated in Burbank? Any other neighborhoods to consider? (Safety is a priority, but I've lived in NYC so I'm comfortable w. city vibes). Appreciate it!
submitted by AwesomeEvenstar44 to MovingToLosAngeles [link] [comments]

2024.05.14 03:56 Checkmatechamp13 Governor Hochul Announces Pilot Program to Enhance Reach of Metro-North Railroad to Orange and Rockland Counties

Governor Hochul Announces Pilot Program to Enhance Reach of Metro-North Railroad to Orange and Rockland Counties Governor Kathy Hochul (ny.gov)
With congestion pricing set to begin on June 30, Governor Kathy Hochul today announced a pilot program to enhance the reach of MTA Metro-North Railroad to Orange and Rockland Counties, as an alternative to driving to New York City. Under the pilot, Metro-North will begin weekend service on the Haverstraw-Ossining ferries for the first time ever, create massive monthly UniTicket discounts of 78 percent to 90 percent on the ferries and buses that cross the Hudson River, and slash parking rates by 25 percent for Orange and Rockland residents using Metro-North’s garage in North White Plains.
“Many residents from Orange and Rockland Counties commute to New York City for their jobs and leisure, and we are finding alternative ways for commuters to get to the city without the added costs and traffic,” Governor Hochul said. “This pilot program will give individuals from commuter areas easier and more accessible access to the central business district and beyond.”
Starting Saturday, May 25, the Haverstraw-Ossining Ferry will operate continuously between 9:30 a.m. and 9:30 p.m. on weekends. The ferry has traditionally operated only during weekday rush hours. Metro-North also will offer discounts for monthly tickets on the Haverstraw-Ossining Ferry, the Newburgh-Beacon Ferry, the Newburgh-Beacon bus and the Hudson Link. In addition, Rockland and Orange County residents will receive a 25 percent discount on monthly parking at the North White Plains station, which is served by the Harlem Line.
With the new discounts, monthly bus and ferry ticket add-ons purchased in conjunction with a monthly rail pass good for an unlimited number of trips for each calendar month will fall dramatically. The current monthly UniTicket fare on the Haverstraw-Ossining Ferry is $43.75. It will fall by $34.50 or 78.9 percent to just $13.75. The current monthly UniTicket fare on the Newburgh-Beacon Ferry is $14.50. It will fall by $13.50 or 93.1 percent to just $1.00. The Newburgh Beacon Bus monthly UniTicket fare is $10.00. It will fall by $9.00 or 90 percent to just $1. The Hudson Link Bus monthly UniTicket fare (to either Tarrytown or to White Plains) is $60.00. It will fall by $30.00 or 50 percent, to just $30.00.
MTA Chair and CEO Janno Lieber said, “It is no secret that the folks who live west of the Hudson River don’t get the same quality of frequency and reliability of service as we have on the Hudson, Harlem, and New Haven Lines. As we approach the onset of congestion pricing, we want to make sure there are a few more options for people in Orange and Rockland Counties to get to this amazing Metro-North service.”
Metro-North President Catherine Rinaldi said, “We are thrilled to be able to offer weekend ferry service to West of Hudson residents looking to connect to Metro-North’s scenic Hudson Line service. And with discounted parking at our North White Plains parking garage, Orange and Rockland County residents who prefer the Harlem Line will have an added incentive to take Metro-North service into Manhattan or other destinations around the region.”
State Senator Pete Harckham said, “Rockland County residents are clamoring for public transit service into New York City. The new weekend ferry service and the Uniticket discounts on the Hudson Link bus service and the MTA two ferries are a good start toward exploring new ways to enhance travel options for Rockland.”
Assemblymember Dana Levenberg said, “It is so exciting to see one of Ossining's economic development priorities coming to fruition, just in time for summer fun on the beautiful Hudson River. The expanded ferry service will enable so many leisure travelers to relax and enjoy an inexpensive boat ride between our downtowns on both sides of the river, where they will discover our restaurants, shops, the summer concert series, and so much more. This will be a major boon to our local economies.”
Assemblymember Ken Zebrowski said, “West of Hudson commuters know the difficulties of getting to New York City on public transit. Today’s announcement will ensure that they have more options to do so without hitting their wallets. Expanded ferry service will mean more people than just daily commuters will be able to use the service, and discounted buses will expand options for Rocklanders. I thank the MTA for collaborating on new ways to open up our robust Metro-North service to west of Hudson New Yorkers.”
Haverstraw Mayor Michael Kohut said, “The Village of Haverstraw is elated that our long-hoped for weekend ferry connection to Ossining and the Metro-North train service is finally becoming a reality. It will serve weekenders going in both directions and help to continue growing the west side of the Hudson as a tourist and day-tripper destination. It is long overdue.”
Ossining Mayor Rika Levin said, “Connecting communities accessibly and affordably is essential for our commuters and our local businesses and is of vital importance for regional economic growth and tourism—being able to make those connections using reliable ferry service helps us achieve our transportation goals while reducing carbon emissions.”
The pilot is expected to run through Veteran’s Day. It comes after Metro-North exempted the Port Jervis Line and the Pascack Valley Line from the systemwide inflation-adjustment fare updates that took effect in March 2017, April 2019, and August 2023.
submitted by Checkmatechamp13 to Rockland [link] [comments]

2024.05.14 03:41 xxSatinsomepeachesxx Are some boundaries unfair/unreasonable?

I (22F), have a group of friends (M29, F30, F26). We all usually get along really well and I enjoy their company but recently one friend (F26), has been treating me in a way that I think, personally, is rather unfair.
A few months ago, we were out at dinner with about another three people. We went to an all you can eat buffet, and I made an off-handed joke to another friend (not part of this central group who was there), that I had eaten so much that it would be a weeks’ worth of food, and I’d have to work it off, and this friend (F26), just blew up.
She interrupted the conversation to tell me not to talk about weight around her. The entire table felt uncomfortable with her outburst, but I personally felt so humiliated because she put all this attention on me and then shut me down when I tried to either apologise or defend myself. It really hurt my feelings and I was close to tears, but I let it go because it was a difficult time for her then and I assumed she was just having a bad day.
But then, about a week ago, the four of us were all at her house and she was cooking for us (which is a very sweet thing she does sometimes). I helped her cut up a certain herb that the cuisine uses often but that I personally dislike as it tastes like soap (iykyk). We get onto the topic of people who like vs don’t like this herb as it’s pretty universally divisive, and I comment that I am unfortunately one of those people who thinks it tastes bad and has a bad smell (which this friend is aware of and knows). At this point the friend asks me not to talk about bad smells around her cooking even though I wasn’t commenting on it.
About 30 mins pass and M29 asks me about the conversation as he hadn’t been there when it went down. I began to reiterate that this herb tastes soapy to me, smells bad etc, and again, this friend just blew up. She raised her voice, scolded me, cut me off and told me to stop talking about ‘bad smells’ around her cooking, and when I tried to tell her it was just about this herb and in no way did I mean her cooking, she shut me down again and just like the restaurant the whole room went quiet. I went outside because this time I could not hold back my tears and eventually M29 came out to ask me how I was and to tell me that her actions also made them uncomfortable, and it was uncalled for. The rest of the night was soured, she never apologised, and I went home early.
At one point she said I couldn’t make a joke and I thought it was because she thought I was making fun of her race (she’s white), and I agreed to back down because I could see how it could be taken that way, but she then responded with saying that it’s not okay to say as I’m not ‘as white passing’ (I’m half white), which really stung because I don't see why that was any of her business how 'white' she thought I was.
These are just a few events amongst others but I couldn’t let it continue, so I texted her and respectfully let her know that how she treated me wasn’t ok, and that if she had an issue with something I said then she should bring it up to me in a more respectful way without bringing other people into it or in a public setting. I didn’t in any way say that I think she was wrong for feeling offended, but I just asked her to be more respectful about bringing up boundaries.
Well, she basically told me that as I had treated her badly that she thinks her actions were warranted, and that it being her house meant that it wasn’t ‘in public’. She then said I have been commenting on her body (which is hypocritical because she consistently tells me to eat more and I have never said anything like that to her), but that it’s okay because I haven’t ‘fully matured’ and that I’m ‘still learning’. She also said that my feelings of having to bite my tongue in the same way she has recently is ‘ not comparable’ because I have been ‘disrespecting’ her boundaries not to talk about these topics with her.
But, in my eyes, neither of these conversations were even with her. They were with other people, and it was about my own weight and a herb.
I told our other friends this (M29, F30), and while they agree that she is treating me unfairly and that she should be less sensitive, they say I’m in the wrong too as ‘a boundary is a boundary no matter how silly it may seem to you.’ But personally I don’t agree; I feel like these particular boundaries are just insecurity projection masking as boundaries, and I don’t think it’s fair that I’m being told that I can’t talk about what is universally seen as arbitrary things with people that aren’t even her.
It feels like she is taking things I say to be about her when they’re not. She’s taking my miscommunications as malice when it really is just cultural (I am from a different country). I feel like I should be able to have conversations adjacent to her with other people without her policing the topics because she assumes I’m insulting her in some way. I feel she is being controlling and condescending.
I value her a lot as a friend and I always try to be understanding but it feels recently like I am sacrificing my dignity to keep the peace and she hasn’t done any introspection whatsoever.
So can boundaries be unreasonable, or am I the asshole for not just taking her boundaries at face value?
submitted by xxSatinsomepeachesxx to Advice [link] [comments]

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