I think I may have a case of disability discrimination and retaliation because my employer fired me shortly after I showed my supervisor a note stating that I re-aggravated my herniated back injury and the doctor "feels that I should limit my walking and bending for the next two weeks". The problem was I was still on probation and apparently was only on month 5 of 12. I was employed by a large government agency of more than 500 employees.
I have sent details of my case to numerous employment attorneys in my area and have gotten some responses, with one offering to represent me and sending me a retainer where they would earn 40% of the award amount, no retainer fee, and a section stating that if the agreement is terminated before a decision is made by either party for reasons listed such as not disclosing material facts, not agreeing to a settlement, I fail to pay fees and expenses, I make it unethical and difficult to continue representation, or other "Just Cause". I am also able to terminate it at any time for any reason, and if the agreement is terminated before a decision is reached, then I would be responsible for the work that the firm has put in and pay them for their hourly rates as well as all the fees associated.
I have done some research online and found out that sometimes these cases will take a long time, sometimes as long as 14 months, after viewing other lawyers' and firms' case results on their websites. I am afraid that they will drag this out and then I would be responsible for all the fees and hours they have put in and having a false sense of hope that my case can be successful. Are these types of cases usually decided in one court hearing? If so, maybe I can try it out and see if they can win for me after one court hearing, and if they don't they I can terminate the agreement and just pay them for trying one time.
Or am I looking at this the wrong way and the fact that I was offered such a great deal from a firm (no retainer fee, they will only get paid a percentage if they win or the agreement is terminated early) mean that my case is really strong?
I also asked them if I should go and do my interview with the EEOC because I have submitted a complaint and they explicitly told me not to do this. Is this because they don't want it to go to the EEOC where I can have a chance of mediation with my employer thereby resolving this case before they can take it on and potentially drag it out like I described above?
How many of you were able to resolve a simple case discrimination case like this without the help of a lawyer? When is a lawyer really even needed? Should I not follow their advice and go to my interview with the EEOC anyways? I also live in New York and have already submitted a complaint with the NYSDHR where I have received a letter back in the mail stating that I a case number and filed a charge already. They asked to send me a picture of the front page which has the case number to them, which I did.

This is for a project to id stressed or healthy potato plants. We are creating a dataset of plants that may be confused for potatoes. Any weeds or crops may interfere with this analysis.
Despite searching on the net I am unable to find credible information. So, I thought I'd give this a try to find a place to start, any clues on where I can find this info are also appreciated.

Automating Your Inbox: VBA Forwarding Techniques

Email management can be a tedious task, especially when it comes to handling a large volume of messages and ensuring important emails are forwarded to the right recipients with their attachments intact. Visual Basic for Applications (VBA) offers a powerful solution to automate these processes within Microsoft Outlook, saving time and reducing the potential for human error. By writing specific VBA scripts, users can customize their email handling, forwarding emails based on certain criteria, including sender, subject, or specific keywords contained within the email body.
This automation not only streamlines the forwarding process but also ensures that all necessary attachments are included, maintaining the integrity of the information being shared. Whether for personal use or within a corporate environment, mastering VBA to automate email forwarding can significantly enhance productivity. The following sections will guide you through the basics of setting up VBA scripts for email forwarding, including how to access the VBA editor in Outlook, write the necessary code, and apply it to incoming emails to automate the forwarding process.

Command	Description
CreateItem	Creates a new Outlook mail item.
Item.Subject	Specifies the subject of the email.
Item.Recipients.Add	Adds a recipient to the email.
Item.Attachments.Add	Adds an attachment to the email.
Item.Send	Sends the email item.
Application.ActiveExplorer.Selection	Gets the currently selected item(s) in Outlook.

Expanding Automation: The Power of VBA in Email Management

Email has become an indispensable part of professional communication, often resulting in a flooded inbox that can be challenging to manage efficiently. This is where the power of VBA (Visual Basic for Applications) comes into play, particularly in the context of Microsoft Outlook. VBA allows for the automation of repetitive tasks, such as forwarding emails with attachments, which can significantly enhance productivity and ensure no important communication is missed or delayed. By leveraging VBA, users can create scripts that automatically identify and forward emails based on predefined criteria, such as specific keywords in the subject line or from certain senders, ensuring that critical information is promptly shared with the relevant parties.
Moreover, the automation process via VBA is not limited to just forwarding emails but can be extended to include custom responses, organizing emails into specific folders, and even setting up alerts for emails from VIP contacts. This level of automation can transform how individuals and organizations manage their email communications, making the process more streamlined and less prone to human error. For individuals who are not familiar with programming, the initial setup of VBA scripts might require a learning curve, but the long-term benefits of automating mundane email tasks can free up valuable time for more important work. Additionally, the customization aspect of VBA scripts means that they can be tailored to fit the unique needs of any user or organization, making it a versatile tool in the arsenal of email management strategies.

Automating Email Forwarding in Outlook with VBA

VBA in Microsoft Outlook

 Dim objMail As Outlook.MailItem Dim objForward As MailItem Dim Selection As Selection Set Selection = Application.ActiveExplorer.Selection For Each objMail In Selection Set objForward = objMail.Forward With objForward .Recipients.Add "email@example.com" .Subject = "FW: " & objMail.Subject .Attachments.Add objMail.Attachments .Send End With Next objMail End Sub 

Unlocking Email Efficiency: The Role of VBA

The integration of Visual Basic for Applications (VBA) in email management, particularly within Microsoft Outlook, heralds a significant shift towards efficiency and productivity in handling electronic correspondence. This programming language enables users to automate various tasks, from forwarding emails with attachments to categorizing incoming messages based on specific criteria. The essence of VBA lies in its ability to perform these tasks without manual intervention, thereby saving time and reducing the likelihood of errors. For businesses and individuals inundated with a high volume of emails daily, VBA scripts can be a game-changer, streamlining operations and ensuring that important communications are promptly addressed.
Furthermore, VBA's flexibility allows for customization to meet the unique needs of each user. Whether it's setting up auto-replies, managing calendar events based on email content, or even extracting data from emails for reporting purposes, VBA offers a versatile toolkit for enhancing email management. The potential of VBA extends beyond simple automation; it empowers users to create sophisticated solutions that can adapt to changing workflows and requirements. While the initial learning curve might deter some, the long-term benefits of mastering VBA for email management are undeniable, offering a blend of productivity, customization, and efficiency that is hard to match with manual processes.

VBA Email Automation FAQs

1. Question: Can VBA scripts automatically forward emails with attachments?
2. Answer: Yes, VBA can be programmed to automatically forward emails with attachments, ensuring that important documents are sent to the appropriate recipients without manual intervention.
3. Question: Is it possible to filter emails by sender or subject using VBA?
4. Answer: Absolutely, VBA scripts can be customized to filter and act on emails based on various criteria such as sender, subject line, and even specific keywords within the email body.
5. Question: Can VBA help in managing email clutter by organizing emails into folders?
6. Answer: Yes, one of the advantages of VBA is its ability to automate the organization of emails into designated folders, thereby helping users maintain a clutter-free inbox.
7. Question: Are there security concerns when using VBA for email automation?
8. Answer: While VBA itself is secure, users should be cautious with scripts downloaded from the internet or received via email to avoid potential malware. It's advisable to use VBA scripts from trusted sources or develop them in-house.
9. Question: Do I need advanced programming skills to use VBA for email automation?
10. Answer: Basic programming knowledge is beneficial, but many resources and tutorials are available to help beginners learn VBA for email automation. The community around VBA is also quite supportive.

Enhancing Productivity with VBA Automation

In conclusion, leveraging VBA for email automation in Microsoft Outlook presents a significant opportunity to improve productivity and efficiency in managing email communications. By customizing VBA scripts to automate routine tasks, users can ensure timely forwarding of important messages, maintain organized inboxes, and reduce the manual effort required in handling emails. The adaptability of VBA allows for scripts to be tailored to the specific needs of individuals or organizations, making it a versatile tool in the arsenal of email management strategies. Despite the initial learning curve, the long-term benefits of integrating VBA into email workflows are clear, offering a blend of customization, efficiency, and enhanced productivity. As email remains a critical component of professional communication, the ability to automate and streamline email management processes with VBA can provide a competitive advantage, allowing users to focus on more strategic tasks. Thus, embracing VBA automation in email handling not only simplifies the management of email traffic but also contributes to a more effective and efficient communication strategy.
https://www.tempmail.us.com/en/vba/automating-email-forwarding-with-vba-and-attachments

https://bgodinspired.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/1715748677.png

Introduction: Harnessing Biblical Wisdom for a Positive Life

Positive thinking and visualization are not modern inventions; they are deeply rooted in ancient wisdom, including the teachings found in the Bible. This age-old book is not only a source of spiritual guidance but also a treasure trove of insights on leading a hopeful and optimistic life. Through exploring biblical characters, stories, and verses, we can uncover powerful principles that encourage us to visualize a blessed future and foster positive thinking. Ready to embark on this transformative journey? Let’s dive into the world of the Bible and discover how its timeless wisdom can propel us toward a life filled with faith, hope, and positive action.

The Biblical Foundation of Positive Thinking and Visualization

The Bible is replete with stories and teachings that lay the groundwork for positive thinking and visualization. From the faith of Abraham to the wisdom of Solomon, the scriptures offer ample evidence that visualizing positive outcomes and maintaining an optimistic outlook is central to leading a God-pleasing life. Let’s explore some examples:

• Philippians 4:8 – “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” This verse encapsulates the essence of positive thinking by instructing believers to focus their minds on what is uplifting and praiseworthy.
• Hebrews 11:1 – “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Here, the Bible stresses the importance of visualization and faith — visualizing what we cannot yet see and trusting God to bring those visions to fruition.
• Proverbs 23:7 – “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” This proverb highlights how our thoughts can shape our reality and underscores the power of maintaining a positive, God-centered mindset.

These verses are just the tip of the iceberg, revealing how deeply the Bible embraces the concepts of positive thinking and visualization.

Applying Biblical Principles to Foster Positivity

Embracing positive thinking and visualization in our daily lives can be incredibly empowering. Here are practical ways to apply biblical principles to nurture a positive outlook:

1. Start Your Day with Scripture: Begin each morning by reading and meditating on uplifting Bible verses. Let God’s word set a positive tone for your day.
2. Practice Gratitude: Follow the biblical tradition of giving thanks to God. Keeping a gratitude journal can help shift your focus from what you lack to the abundance of blessings in your life.
3. Visualize Your Faith: Like Abraham, who visualized the stars in the sky as a representation of his future descendants, envision God’s promises coming true in your life. This act of faith can strengthen your trust in God’s plan.
4. Embody Positivity: Reflect God’s love and positivity in your interactions. Encourage others with words of hope and affirmations, just as the apostles uplifted the early Christians through their letters.

Conclusion: Manifesting a Life of Hope and Positivity

The Bible not only encourages us to think positively but also shows us how to visualize and manifest a life aligned with God’s goodness and promises. By integrating biblical wisdom into our daily routines, we can cultivate a mindset that not only benefits us but also blesses those around us. As we reflect on the teachings and stories found in the scriptures, let them inspire us to hold onto faith, to dream boldly, and to walk confidently in the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
Ready to embrace the power of positive thinking and visualization in your life? Start today by immersing yourself in biblical wisdom, and watch how it transforms your mindset and your life. Remember, with God, all things are possible to those who believe. Share this journey with others, encouraging them to discover the life-changing power of positive thinking according to the Bible.
If you want to want to research more Bible Answers on your own, please try our Bible Answers GPT. It’s easy to get lost in the interesting responses you’ll find… every search is like a new treasure hunt 🙂
Source =

Bit of an unusual one. (1st offense)
About a month ago I took an extremely large dose of shrooms, lost all conscious awareness and walked into a strangers home to pet their dog, apologized and drove away.
Upon driving away I was pulled over (the home owners called the police), but apparently I had been obeying all traffic laws and driving properly, but I was exceptionally confused and unable to answer most of the officers questions.
I was completely unaware of what I was doing, and I blew full 00’s on the breathalyzer, but failed the field sobriety test due to inability to follow instructions.
I was then arrested and admitted I did shrooms (I was too out of it to realize that was a bad idea).
I complied to a blood test and took an additional panel test at the jail.
Since then I have completed 60 community service hours, finished 3 courses for driving safety, drug education, and driver impairment, and I have 3 letters of recommendation with 1 coming from my boss at work. I have no prior arrest history, worked with law enforcement and government officials repairing equipment, and a near perfect driving record.
I am hoping to get a plea deal for reckless driving.
Is there anything else I should do? Would enrolling into a VASAP be a good idea or would it be a bit much? Would enrolling in therapy help my case as well? I genuinely need it anyways.
I spoke to my lawyer but want to see if there is anything else I can really do but hope for the best. I am really hoping I can retain my license.

I feel so overwhelmed by the sheer amount of information to be memorized for L2, only read through two topics and already felt like it is a lot.
Anyone who passed have any suggestions or advice for how to better memorize everything, especially for the constructed response questions?
Much appreciated!

I am a director and oversee HR in a service industry. We have a part-time employee who works between 7-10 hours per week. This employee is constantly complaining about one thing or another. About a year ago, the employee kept going over their direct supervisors head and coming to me (Director) for every little complaint. I took the time to listen to her until she was in my office every day complaining about something. It got to the point where she received a written warning and was told she needed to communicate with her supervisor and stop coming to me about every little issue. Since then, she now complains to HR on a daily basis about one thing or another, most of which fall completely out of her job responsibilities and should not be her concern and are not related to HR issues.
She recently applied for a promotion in which she did not meet the minimum qualifications for. Despite her supervisor giving her a detailed explanation as to why she was not selected, in addition to giving her suggestions on how to improve her chances for the next opportunity, she has taken it upon herself to practically interrogate other managers and candidates to pry for additional information about the position and interview process. She has already begun complaining about the person selected for the role who hasn’t even started yet.
I have already spoken to her about her negative attitude, how complaining, spreading gossip and lies hurts the morale of the entire team. At this point, her supervisor has adjusted their schedule to actively avoid her while she is at work. Our HR Manager has indicated that her behavior is borderline harassment and that she gets tense and stressed whenever she hears the employees voice. I have to close my door and pretend to be on the phone when she hovers in front of my office to avoid her.
The employee typically starts crying when called out for her toxic behavior. When asked why she continues to want to work for a company she clearly doesn’t enjoy working for, her response is along the lines of “it’s because I care” and “she loves it here”.
At this point, we spend more time dealing with her complaints and nagging that she actually works. In my 30 years of experience, I have never dealt with such a seemingly disgruntled employee. It is creating an environment where people actively avoid her and her complaints take hours of our time each week. I have reached the end of my rope with the employee and feel my blood pressure rising when her name is even mentioned.
The question is at what point is enough, and we can end her employment relationship? HR seems to think we just “need to listen to her”, but I am spending more time dealing with this employees petty behavior than any staff I have ever encountered. Any advice on how to handle would be greatly appreciated!

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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Hello good people! I really could use some outside advice here, this has been bugging me for the past 2 weeks, and I just for the life of me, cannot come to a conclusion on my own. So me and my girlfriend met in school, our parents knew each other since we were kids, and we were best friends for 13 years(around 10 maybe, for the first 3 we would just get mad at each other for not giving extra cake when either of us brought it), before I proposed to her during high school. I have never felt this amount of love and respect for any other girl, even when we were just "friends". I would take a bullet for her anyday and smile through the pain.
Now here's where the problem is. Both of us wanted to work through a long distance reltionship since I'm moving to another country for my studies and she is moving across it. One day, after our first fight since we were together, she said she didn't want to commit to me anymore and that she doesn't know what will happen in college, and could potentially fall for someone else. I took it as her way of saying the relationship was over since she was even considering other options, and while I was incredibly hurt, I sat her down and told her if we couldn't commit, then we can't be together.
After five days, I reached out to her just in case I got the wrong idea of what she meant. She told me she never said that she would pursue relationships with people, it's just that she didn't want to be completely closed off to the idea of it, and would like to take things as it happened in college, naturally. Where initially I thought she was considering other options, now it's more of her not knowing what will happen there and being unable to commit. That was fine by me, as the distance and time between us would be huge and no way could either of us(well I could), but her, be sure that she wouldn't fall for anyone else. I understood that, especially considering she had a tough life at school and at home, she wanted to experience freedom for the first time. So that wasn't a huge deal breaker.
Here's where it gets real bad, I told her I felt as if you would actively go out and date people instead of you just not knowing whether you would, two very different things. I told her I would be close to her, and that we had a huge misunderstanding. I asked her why didn't she just say this simply? I said close, but I never directly told her I was going to date her again. And my last text was that I felt as if my trust was betrayed. And we started dating again for a month, without me pressurizing her to commit. But, just 10 minutes after this she sent some explicit pics to another boy as she felt so sad in that moment, and just wanted someone to write something nice. Wanted to feel pretty. This I got to know a month later, when she was pushing me away after another fight(our second ever). We worked through the fight and held each other afterwards, but this thing stuck. She claimed she didn't know I would ever date her again, and since she wasn't commited in that moment, it wasn't cheating. The moment we started again, she blocked that boy(just a random guy who dmed her sometime ago, not a friend) and never sent another pic. But that was because she didn't feel the need to, given the love I used to pour on her. It's just that even if we weren't dating at that instant, I clarified we had a huge misunderstanding, and that I didn't understand what she meant and I was deeply sorry for taking it the wrong way, and why didn't she just put it like that. didn't that make it evident I would be with her? The text about feeling betrayed might be the one that confused her, but I still feel it was easy to make out I said that in a misunderstanding, and that I would come back
Is this considered cheating? I didn't tell her she cheated, just that I needed some time to think everything through. I absolutely adore this girl, and would even be willing to give it another try. But I just can't conclude whether this is cheating or I am just being too harsh? I care about her a lot, and overtime I understood relationships this long term are hard work over butterflies in stomach feeling, but she is worth that work. I just want to know if this is considered cheating or not, so I know how to move from this. Thank you for reading till here, I would appreciate any and all responses!

Hi! I would like to know if someone was in this kind of situation. I received my approval notice for EAD. USCIS sent my mail by USPS. USPS updated my mail status as delivered. But I never received it in my mailbox. I notice that only 2 months later after that update. I was so busy with my job and didn’t pay close attention to check the status of my mail every day online. I created an inquiry with USCIS of non-delivery of card. I created a claim with USPS. I asked every single neighbour in my apartment building. What should I do? Have someone replaced his EAD because of the same circumstance? If yes, did you attach to your new application any cover letter? And how long did it take to replace your EAD?
Thank you so much for any information!

The world beckons with its rich tapestry of cultures, vibrant landscapes, and exciting opportunities. But before you embark on your international adventure, navigating the world of visas can feel like stepping into a labyrinth. At Adric Immigration Consultants, your trusted partner in Bangalore, we understand the complexities of visa applications. This comprehensive guide aims to shed light on the different types of visas available, helping you choose the right path for your aspirations. visa consultant
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The Big Picture: Broad Visa Categories
Visas act as official permissions granted by a country to enter and stay within its borders for a specific purpose and duration. Broadly, visas fall into two main categories:
1. Non-immigrant Visas:
Designed for temporary stays, non-immigrant visas cater to diverse needs, including:

• Tourism (B-1/B-2): Ideal for sightseeing, visiting family and friends, or attending short-term events like conferences.
• Business (B-1): Allows participation in business activities that don’t involve paid employment in the host country. Examples include attending meetings, negotiating contracts, or conducting market research.
• Work (H-1B, TN, etc.): Enables qualified foreign professionals to work in specific occupations for a sponsoring employer. The type of work visa required depends on the profession and the reciprocity agreements between countries.
• Student (F-1): For individuals pursuing full-time academic programs at accredited institutions. May come with restrictions on work authorization.
• Exchange Visitor (J-1): Facilitates participation in exchange programs like cultural exchanges, internships, or research collaborations.

2. Immigrant Visas:
For those seeking to establish permanent residence in a new country, immigrant visas pave the way. These typically involve a lengthier application process with stricter eligibility requirements. Common types include:

• Employment-Based: Grants permanent residency based on a job offer with a sponsoring employer in the host country. Categories exist for skilled workers, investors, and individuals with exceptional abilities.
• Family-Based: Allows sponsorship of immediate family members (spouse, children) by a U.S. citizen or permanent resident.
• Diversity Visa Lottery: Provides a limited number of visas annually through a random selection process.

Going Deeper: Specific Visa Types and Considerations
Understanding your purpose for travel is crucial. Here’s a breakdown of some commonly sought-after visas and key factors to consider:

• Tourist Visa (B-1/B-2):
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  • Eligibility: Varies by country. Generally, applicants need to demonstrate sufficient financial resources, ties to their home country, and a valid passport.
  • Important Note: Working or studying while on a tourist visa is strictly prohibited.
• Business Visa (B-1):
  • Duration: Similar to tourist visas, with extensions potentially available.
  • Eligibility: Proof of business purpose, such as invitations from companies, conference registrations, or business documents, is essential.
  • Restrictions: Engaging in paid employment or setting up a business venture is not permitted under a business visa.
• Work Visa (H-1B, TN, etc.):
  • Duration: Varies based on the specific visa type and job offer. Extensions and renewals are often possible.
  • Eligibility: Requires a valid job offer from a U.S. employer willing to sponsor the visa petition. Specific qualifications and experience are mandated for each profession.
  • Labor Certification: For certain categories (e.g., H-1B), the employer must first obtain a labor certification demonstrating that hiring a foreign worker won’t adversely affect U.S. worker opportunities.
• Student Visa (F-1):
  • Duration: Valid for the duration of the academic program, with potential extensions for practical training after graduation.
  • Eligibility: Acceptance letter from a SEVP-certified educational institution, proof of financial support, and a valid passport are mandatory.
  • Maintaining Status: Students must maintain full-time enrollment and comply with program requirements to keep their visa valid.
  • Work Authorization: Limited on-campus or OPT (Optional Practical Training) opportunities might be available depending on the program and student category.
• Employment-Based Immigrant Visa:
  
  • Duration: Leads to permanent residency status, allowing indefinite stay and work authorization.
  • Eligibility: A valid job offer with a sponsoring employer and meeting the specific requirements of the chosen visa category (e.g., EB-2 for professionals with advanced degrees) (EB-3 for skilled workers with less education but experience) are crucial. The process can be complex, and seeking guidance from an experienced immigration consultant is highly recommended.
• Family-Based Immigrant Visa:
  
  • Duration: Leads to permanent residency status.
  • Eligibility: U.S. citizens or permanent residents can sponsor immediate family members (spouse, unmarried children under 21). The process can be lengthy, and wait times can vary depending on the relationship and visa category.
• Diversity Visa Lottery (DV Lottery):
  
  • Duration: Leads to permanent residency status if selected and the application process is completed successfully.
  • Eligibility: Open to nationals of countries with historically low immigration rates to the U.S. Selection is based on a random drawing.
  • Important Note: Winning the lottery doesn’t guarantee a visa. Applicants must still meet all eligibility requirements and undergo the full application process.

Beyond the Basics: Additional Considerations
Visa processing times and fees can vary significantly depending on the visa type, country of application, and individual circumstances. It’s crucial to factor in these costs and potential delays when planning your international move.
Visa reciprocity plays a role in certain work visa categories (e.g., TN visa between the U.S., Canada, and Mexico). Understanding the reciprocity agreements between your home and destination countries can help determine your eligibility for specific work visas.
Dual citizenship allows individuals to hold citizenship in two countries simultaneously. Eligibility for dual citizenship varies by country. Researching the policies of both your home and target country is essential if this path aligns with your goals.
Travel restrictions can be implemented due to various reasons, including pandemics or political situations. Staying updated on current travel advisories is crucial before embarking on your international journey.
Your Trusted Partner in Navigating the Visa Maze
At Adric Immigration Consultants in Bangalore, we understand that navigating the complexities of visas can be overwhelming. With our extensive experience and in-depth knowledge of global immigration regulations, we are here to guide you every step of the way.
Our Services:

• Visa Type Assessment: We will help you identify the most suitable visa category based on your specific circumstances and goals.
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• Staying Updated: We will keep you informed of any changes in immigration policies or procedures that might affect your application.

Contact us today for a free consultation and let us help you turn your international dreams into reality. With Adric Immigration Consultants as your partner, you can start on your global journey with clarity, confidence, and peace of mind.

hello everyone! I hope everyone is having a beautiful day. I am doing research on self resilience as required in research psychology 074. I need to minimum of 55 participants by thursday night . I have been struggling to find participant since last two month. therefore, I am reaching out to invite you on my important research study on self resilience through this group. it would take maximum of 5-10 minute. I would really appreciate if you could help me get through this. Thank you!
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1IrrjR4SHgIpEiOVAnewNQDNYfzBynAMkkxWrubG_XPU/edit#responses

So the last few years have been rough.
*note* if you're a "cheaters will always be cheaters type" tldr is don't bother reading or commenting
BACKSTORY 2019-2023 child nearly annual broken bones, lots of stress and specialist visits.
2018-2024 my wife got her associates as a medical assistant and is almost done with her bachelor's and final quarter internship while working full time and that has been hard for me. The lack of time for me and my son has really made an impact.
2019 I was injured at work and 2020 had my first surgery to try and preserve an ankle joint. That surgery ended up failing and while recovering I ended up mangling 2 fingertips in a wood jointer. 2020 I had to make the transition to a sahd on workers comp and have been since then. My lifestyle of hiking and fishing was upended because I could barely be on my feet 3 hours a day and uneven ground killed me not to mention the whole covid thing was pretty isolating.
All of 2021 was supporting her being a surrogate for a couple in City X (their egg/sperm). So, lots of trips checks and giving her injections. It was kind of proving myself to her because I was terrified when our son was born in 2017 and didn't help as much as I should have. Especially the first 3 months. Really, I didn't find out until later. We had conversations and fights at the time and id step up to do more and she would agree and tell me it was all okay. Then another fight saying I wasn't doing enough/anything and asking more and me being upset and confused. I guess at the time she was afraid to ask more, or tell me what she wanted, or her feelings, and the postpartum depression and initial feelings of abandonment didn't help.
Anyways the surrogacy went okay. I was there and supportive. Rubbing her feet and back. taking on extra load when she was tired etc. And hey I didn't pass out at delivery this time XD The end was a bit hard with 2 inductions needed and a massive 9.5lb baby and a stuck shoulder.
Then a few weeks after birth in November 2021 the nightmare began.
Out of nowhere she started hemorrhaging. She had to have an emergency D&C to stop the bleeding and scans showed a mass. Turned out the surrogate baby's placenta had some cells turn cancerous and attach to her uterus (Choriocarcinoma). 3 months later and the first 3 agent chemo failed, and her numbers were skyrocketing because it turned treatment resistant. They had to hit it with 5 types of chemo (EMACO) leaving future fertility a coin toss but more than a hysterectomy. By May 2022 the tumor marker was gone, but it was 6 months of intense monitoring and 6 months of monthly monitoring. The whole time she was in an intense spiraling depression questioning life. The meaning of all it, and how all her childhood trauma was fair. That no god would let a child live that. And questioning every decision in her life and wondering what things could have been like if she went a different direction. Feeling like she missed out on opportunities early in life. If this might be all there is (we have been together since she was 17). She said she felt like reality wasn't real and this was make believe at times.
Summer 2022 she made a new mom friend. She was pretty toxic and selfish. She used my wife for personal benefit and to go places. Yelled at her kids and treated the oldest from a prior marriage as less than (girl doesn't know her dad and when she mentioned she was part Mexican she freaked out and denied it because of how conservative and anti Mexican her new dad and his family is). Like never offered a dime, but expected food, gas, tickets, and gifts. She drove my wife nuts with that behavior. but she was desperate for a friend and loved her kids. Her friend would just talk shit about her partner pretty constantly and say my wife should be unhappy in her relationship too. Shit talking husbands behind their backs became like a mutual thing and I def hated it
Sometime 2023 she jumped into fantasy romance and fantasy smut /erotica. This progressed to an AI chat smut generator.
May 2023 monitoring was over and she was officially cancer free and had been on a health/mental health quest..
The mental health part started early in the year and she was seeing a therapist for depression and anxiety alone as well as her long list of childhood trauma. Off hand her therapist told her a few times she didn't know maybe just divorce me or something. I was super uncomfortable with this as it was completely outside her practicing scope and I didn't feel she should be providing relationship guidance, especially without me or the rest of the story. I felt a bit attacked and didn't even get the chance to give my perspective or account and felt that is pretty important after being here for a decade. A lot of negative points get omitted by her.
Summer 2023 she had some tough diagnosis for other chronic issues. Narcolepsy Dissociative Identity disorder Depression And a sleep disorder
I initially rejected this as I didn't want to accept these chronic and incurable conditions and insisted it has to be something else, that she's okay. It was taken as rejection of her.
Fall 2023 she reached out to a childhood ex bf a few states away and started an emotional affair. They kept in infrequent contact over the years and nothing ever came of it before. He has been unable to move past her or have meaningful relationships in 13 years. At first he pushed her away and rejected it, but after a month by Nov it was a thing. Texting saying I shouldn't worried because they dated before, but he ended up coming out as gay, calls in private, staying later after work. I gave it the benefit of the doubt but got burned. I found out in December the second time she wanted a private call in the car, and I checked her phone.
We started marriage counseling in Jan and I started my own therapy search as well as a condition of hers. She agreed to no longer contact the boy showed me the sent message ending it and blocked him. By Feb I found him listed in her phone as Saraa and found deleted texts and calls. In therapy she wanted to keep him as a friend and only friend and I tried this. She asked if a PO box would be okay for a birthday present, and I said no. That it crossed a line. It was also super close to Valentine's day. Next therapy I couldn't handle the anxiety and feeling physically ill when she used her phone, and we went through Jan again break off block etc.
In Feb the therapist recommended a separate space for conflict as we work on things. That too much conflict triggered her dissociative identity disorder. It was either a hotel as needed or a rv/camper. My wife was set on a camper and the only way to get a newer one was to add my credit/income to hers for a loan and I was uncomfortable on a $20k purchase. She assured me the intent of the camper was working on us and not separating/divorcing. She brought up me not having chores completely done all the time and I poured myself into it if that was making her unhappy over the years.
During this time in March I found out she got the secret PO box and had yet again resumed texting entirely deleting her logs. She had valentines gifts. birthday gifts, long distance electronic bracelets, and had an easter basket coming. Everything was put together into a box to be gotten rid of. That effort I had for chores and making everything spotless kind of died. Like there was that recognition that that obviously wasn't the problem. We lived completely separately for a few weeks until she could make a choice. We split our son and had almost zero interaction. Eventually she chose and I saw a notebook she used once in December. Basically she has started outlining a story envisioning herself as the lead character in once of her romantic fantasies and cast me and the other man as competing love interests
April and early may there was nothing. We did therapy and tackled our issues slowly. Together. Our future plans: college vs baby and the ticking clock of fertility and ifs after chemo. Etc
Last week she was going out for lilac picking and didn't text me for 2 hours and said she was at the beach. Later she showed me something in her email and I saw discord emails about a pw change and login. One bad gut feeling later and the next morning I see she deleted the discord emails and check our phone plan and her phone and see missing texts. I put in a phone record request for recent texts and text/call logs. She woke up and I said it did it and she said I was disgusting. Then admitted I was right.
She says after breaking it off she was worried he would hurt himself and just wanted to be sure he was okay and admitted to 3 texts and the discord call which i verified. Said that he was in therapy for his issues. She said she didn't want to bring it up to me because I would make it a fight and she thought she could just get away with a few texts to make sure. That she felt responsible for how much he had been hurt too.
So I did what I do with extreme anxiety and checked her work bag. I found an old journal they shared Jan to mid-march. Kind of confirmed again what was going on. Also revealed she lied to me about the trailer, or him? She couldn't get it without me and told him it was to work on separating from me easier. Yeah I kept pics in case this goes downhill because yeah, I'll gun for EVERYTHING. I'm sure that being tricked into signing a $20k contract under false pretenses for her personal benefit, secret po boxes, lying to our therapist repeatedly, secret texts, expecting gifts from the other man, career over spending time with family and a serious personality disorder on top of narcolepsy making a job hard to keep down wont do her favors at divorce/custody hearings.
So its all fresh for me again. I already have extreme anxiety and the autism doesn't help with reading/understanding people the best, although my gut intuition and pattern recognition are catching stuff fine.
WHERE I THINK I AM
Looking back, I can see that the personality disorder and narcolepsy are apparent. Dream delusion and memory issues from the narcolepsy make separating dream from reality hard as well as just recalling what happened. So whether not the "not feeling like reality is real" was a dream delusion or a full-blown dissociative episode... I can also see that messaging him was a "new" personality state. Maybe it's a manifestation of the trauma of nearly dying from cancer, maybe it's a fragment of her young identity that was created to survive her traumatic childhood resurfacing after nearly dying. But her interests and perspective massively shifted at that time and there was a clear separation between her with me and her with him. It was like this regression back to 15. Like she was molding an identity to fit his desires and interests. She took up tarot and witchy books, different music, painting, rockhounding (my interest), dried bouquets, dyed her hair and got multiple piercings. Even getting caught there was that click in her whole demeanor.
I can see how her friend may have jaded her towards me by all the shit she talked about HER husband. I can see that throwing herself into fantasy smut to cope flooded her with portrayals of unrealistic romance. That she progressed that by using an AI smut bot to hold those conversations with. Then she directly tried to process her own reality through the lens of those novels in that journal.
This "relationship" was "I love you, we can be together in 10 years". He wasn't going to leave his cushy job. Or his state. He didn't want to be a stepdad. He didn't want to support her career or have any involvement in it. She couldn't leave my state. Never saw illicit photos. No discussion of sex. It was like exactly what you think some lovestruck preteens would come up with. Like just a fantasy. No talk of bills or finances. Of moving. Of any substantial tangible entanglement.
Somehow that's easier to handle
I love her and don't want to leave her. But i desperately think she needs serious help and have told her I want her to do therapy 2x a month (on top of marriage therapy 2x).
I also think if a secret or deleted text happens again, I've got to take off the kid gloves and fight for it all. Cause well showing up at the dude's door would end in prison.
I'm sure this happening right as I fully got over last time and took a trust leap of faith on a "gay" friend that burned me will make it harder. I get the last few years have been garbage luck and I get almost dying can have profound affects though. She had been utterly loyal for 5 years (believe me I checked as we agreed to ie open book). Tying to see this with an open mind.
I get my exact expectations are muddy and part of this is just putting it into words to process for me, but I value if someone has any good input

I am looking to change careers, and I'm very interested in working in the SmartHome/IoT industry. I have extensive experience in tech support, particularly on-site desktop support, and a background in software development. I'm actually most interested in doing consultations/installations — coming to someone's home to evaluate their needs, and looking around to give an estimate of what kinds of devices and features could be installed for what cost, and then coming back with the tech to get everything connected. I'd probably then also be responsible for troubleshooting/calibrating for existing clients, and maybe a bit of training to get them used to their new devices. I used to be really interested in innovation when I was younger, but these days I think most of the tech I imagined as a kid has already hit the market.
I'm posting here to ask whether anyone does this kind of work, how you got into it, what the pay is like in your area, etc. Any information at all would be helpful. I'm not married to the idea of installations, it just sounds like something I already have the skill set for. I'd be interested to learn anything about resources that could help me get into the industry. I've seen comments on similar posts from long ago that say it's an easy industry to get in to, and that may be true, but I haven't found anything paying nearly as well as my current job (which does not pay all that well). I think for the most part, I just don't know where to look — searching "smart home" on LinkedIn returns a little over a hundred results, only some of which are actually relevant, and other sites don't give me much to go on either. I'll of course keep tracking those sites, but figured someone here might have a lead. I'm grateful for any information you may be able to offer.

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Common ways you Give Demons Access to Your Life

Demons are very real spiritual entities that seek to wreak havoc and destruction in the lives of unsuspecting individuals. Do you have a demon? If you’ve been experiencing unexplained occurrences, strange behaviors, or a pervasive sense of darkness, it’s possible that you’ve opened the door to demonic influence.
– Engaging in occult practices like Ouija boards, tarot cards, or séances
– Harboring unforgiveness, bitterness, or hatred towards others
– Participating in sexual immorality or the occult

Do Have a Demon? More symptoms

• Intense fear is the fight-or-flight response, which floods the body with adrenaline and cortisol in the face of perceived danger. While this response serves an evolutionary purpose, it can become maladaptive when the threat is not immediate or physical.
• Bizarre dreams, the terror of falling endlessly, the dread of being chased by menacing creatures, or the anguish of feeling physically harmed, these nightmares can feel all too real and overwhelm us with a sense of helplessness.
• Cutting of your body for blood– Cutting may provide a sense of control or release for some individuals, but it ultimately perpetuates a cycle of pain and self-destruction.
• Bizarre continuous thoughts-These types of thoughts are often a product of an overactive or anxious mind and do not reflect your true desires or intentions. What’s crucial is recognizing these thoughts.
• Occult invitations-Channeling to contact the spirits
• attempting to communicate with dead loved ones
• suicidal thoughts Suicidal thoughts may feel persistent and inescapable,
• Sexual abuse as a child-The trauma of sexual abuse as a child can have a devastating and long-lasting impact. Children have not yet accumulated the defenses and coping mechanisms that are necessary to overcome such a violation. The effects of childhood sexual abuse can persist well into adulthood, manifesting in a range of emotional, psychological, and behavioral issues.
• Social Isolation-Social isolation can be a complex and nuanced experience, even for those who previously thrived in social settings. While some may find that their friendships have become “boring and uneventful,” it’s important to approach this shift with empathy and self-awareness.

There is a fine line between mental illness and the demonic. It’s a delicate topic that requires careful consideration. While mental health conditions are medical in nature, some believe there may be a spiritual component as well.
If you are struggling with your mental health and are on psychological medications, it’s important to assess whether those medications are truly working for you. If not, it’s possible that the root of your issues could be something more than just a chemical imbalance.
In these cases, you may need to explore the spiritual realm and consider the possibility of demonic influence. Casting out such entities from your soul could be the key to finding true healing and restoration.
However, this is a complex matter that should be approached with wisdom and discernment. Seek guidance from trusted spiritual leaders and medical professionals to determine the best path forward for your unique situation. With the right support, you can find the freedom you seek.
—

Mental Illness or Demonic Possession: Recognizing the Fine Line

There is a fine line between mental illness and the demonic. The question always remains: do you have a demon? Do you mental illiness? If you are on psychological medications, ask yourself if the meds are working for you. If not, then you might have a demon you need to to cast out of your soul.
There is a fine line between mental illness and the demonic. It’s a delicate topic that requires careful consideration. While mental health conditions are medical in nature, some believe there may be a spiritual component as well.

Are psychological Medications Effective?

If you are struggling with your mental health and are on psychological medications, it’s important to assess whether those medications are truly working for you. If not, it’s possible that the root of your issues could be something more than just a chemical imbalance.
In these cases, you may need to explore the spiritual realm and consider the possibility of demonic influence. Casting out such entities from your soul could be the key to finding true healing and restoration.
However, this is a complex matter that should be approached with wisdom and discernment. Seek guidance from trusted spiritual leaders and medical professionals to determine the best path forward for your unique situation. With the right support, you can find the freedom you seek.

I’d like to begin this invitation of advice or experiences by stating that what I want in life is a partner who feels like home, will always give me their genuine effort, & will love me through all of the highs, mediums, & lows of life.
I specifically want to know about any advice or things I should consider when it comes to the age gap I have with the man I’m seriously considering making a staple & serious part of my life. I (29f) met (40m) 3 years ago & we have been seeing each other for a little over a year. We met at the public school in which we both work- he’s the social worker, I’m a teacher. When I first saw him, he looked like a meat head (he’s pretty muscular, bald, beard, wears hoodies) & I’ve always been into nerds so it never occurred to me that I’d end up attracted to him. The first year we knew each other, it was very surface level, & then, during the second year of my time at the school, I got to know him better, as I did a few coworkers I now consider close friends. This second year of friendship was also a tough period for me as I was going through a divorce from with a man who wasn’t on the same life path as me & kind of made me dislike myself just for being me (wanting kids, needing to be intrinsically motivated in my career rather than financially motivated)- basically he was type A & I am B. I was absolutely enamored with him in my twenties & was crushed that it didn’t work- I spent a lot of time trying to change myself to accommodate his desires.
Anyhow, as I was processing my divorce & creating friendships, I got to know M(40) better both at work & at hang outs with friends outside of work. I watched how the kids at school just flocked to him & how kind he was with everybody. He coached the basketball team, did an after school program with the SRO to help at risk kids, & often stepped in to help others with tasks that weren’t related to his job as social worker. & he always did it with a positive attitude & good sense of humor. People just LIKE him, you know? It became obvious that he was just a really good person. One day, we had a discussion about kids & how we both wanted them. He told me I’d be a great mother because of how I treat the students & I told him he’d also be a wonderful parent. & he cast his spell on me & I slowly started falling for him. I couldn’t quite figure it out. Here I was, recently divorced from a relationship that had a tremendous affect on me mentally/emotionally, & I was gaining feelings for a man who was very different from my ex, & 11 years older than me. Was I just looking for a distraction? Was I using him to boost my confidence up after it had spent so much time at all time low? Or was I simply recognizing that this man had all of the features that I’d been missing in my past relationship & maybe I should pay attention to that? I was worried that my judgement post- divorce couldn’t possibly be clear, so I expressed that I had feelings for him but had to take things very slow. I was a bit of a mess as I tried to take the initial steps to get closer to him. I’d get emotional & have somewhat of a panic attack, or I’d go through some wishy washy phases when it came to wanting to see him in general. No matter what it was, he said that he understood, he wasn’t going anywhere, & that he just wanted me to be ok. He’d always ask what he could do to help & what I needed from him to feel better. If we were kissing & he felt that I wasn’t comfortable, he’d stop. One time he could tell that I wasn’t feeling great & he cried because he thought he’d made me feel bad. Needless to say, he was always there for me & ACTUALLY cared about how I felt. As we got closer, he was always respectful, would leave me flowers on random or special occasions (like when I was in an art show that he attended, or the first day of a new semester at work), wanted to make things like holidays memorable for me (one time I specifically thought was sweet was when he decorated my place with a Christmas tree & lights because “it’s your first Christmas in your new apartment, it should be festive!”). I consistently got solid evidence that he was emotionally mature, ready for a relationship, & wanted the same things as me.
So, I thought, “why is this sweet, courteous, kind, responsible, funny man single?” I’d heard some woman at work “pick” at him about this & say “I just don’t get how you’re single!” & I honestly wondered myself. You always heard that it’s a ref flag if a man dates a woman over 10 years younger & that it’s because “women his age didn’t want him”. Well, there are a few rational explanations I could think of: 1. He’d been sexually abused by his stepsister for years as a child. He’d told me that he’d had a few relationships during his 20s & 30s, but they didn’t last long & he’d had some issues with women not dealing with his anxiety around sex well. With me, this was not an issue, really. We’d taken the physical really slow, & when one of us felt anxiety as things heated up, the other stopped & supported. After a few months, it became a non-issue & we were able to have great sex with no fear that one of us would get anxious. I think us being so patient & supportive in those initial tough moments & making it clear that we were just as happy to show non-sexual affection helped bond us a ton. 2. When he was younger (childhood-20s) he was overweight. He began balding in his 20s & so he shaved his head. Maybe there weren’t a lot of women who wanted to be with the overweight, bald guy? Women can be just as shallow as men.
So, I began to try to look for any signs that maybe this man is “grooming” me or something. I looked for issues as well as green lights. How’s his family? His brother is happily married with children & he is close with his family, seeing them weekly. What are his friends like? I enjoy his friends. They’re nice, fun people & his best friends are in happy marriages. Does he manipulate you? No, he treats me like a princess (I’m not used to it) & tries to establish healthy relationship patterns (he always insists on a weekly date night, suggests activities together, such as me weight lifting with him & him running with me). He also hypes me up like no other- If I’m wearing a risky outfit that I love but know my mom would insult, BAM he is the first one to compliment it as his jaw drops to the floor. Always telling me how strong, sweet, & cool I am. Made me take his gloves when we went on a snowy hike & I’d forgotten mine. Just basically an endless stream of courtesy. Sometimes I worry if he’s just being really sweet to me because he wants to keep me- he’s said he’s trying to be less of a “people pleaser”- but he has always been consistently kind to me in a genuine manner.
I have gotten a lot of evidence that this is a solid person with whom I could build a beautiful relationship & family with. Everything he’s shown me has been positive as far as communication, morals, empathy, kindness & life plans is concerned.
So… is the 11 year age gap a concern? Should I be more paranoid about why he is still single, or are my theories valid? Although he goes to the gym daily & is like a kid at heart, should I worry about his age when it comes to us potentially raising kids? He’d likely be 43-45 by the time I was ready for that.
If anyone has any experience with being the victim of or being a partner to the victim of someone who went through sexual abuse as a child, please give any thoughts of how that might have affected someone when it comes to dating.
If you have any thoughts, please let me know. Truthfully, I do have other potential options if I pursued them & I’m not afraid of being alone, but I’m feeling that I’d like to commit to a relationship.

17m. i live with my great-grandparents and have since i was a baby; they raised me as my mother and father were completely out of the picture.
my (72) grandmother has dementia. this has become apparent in the past year. she has not been formally diagnosed but it has been flagged by several healthcare professionals. they keep telling my (79) grandfather and my grandparents' adult children that she needs to be evaluated, but i guess the pieces just haven't come together for that evaluation to actually occur.
it's incredibly hard to stand by and watch the progression of her dementia, yet be wholly unable to intervene or make any difference to how things are unfolding. i am constantly afraid for her and my grandfather. she's still driving places and it feels like it's only a matter of time until an accident occurs as a result. i've talked to one of their kids (my aunt) who disclosed to me that my grandmother is scheduled for a driving test in July and most likely will lose her license then, but i feel so fucking worried about what will happen until then. i'm scared i'm going to come home from school one day to find something terrible has happened. furthermore, i'm worried that it'll be perceived as my fault by my extended family. i will not go into detail but my family is extremely dysfunctional and has always disliked me, something that is only being exacerbated by my grandmother's dementia.
for one, she's convinced im shoplifting everything i own. i've been informed by my aunt that she goes digging through my drawers and all my belongings when i'm out of the house. apparently she informed everyone that i am doing horribly in school, yet i am a 90s average student. she also has been claiming that i broke her washing machine... our washing machine is not broken. i cannot even WALK anywhere in our house without setting her off for being too loud. i feel so fucking useless constantly because everything i do somehow makes her quality of life worse. i know the dementia has a part to play, but it's hard to internalize this.
i just don't know what to DO. i'm watching my grandfather (understandably) fall apart due to stress, but he's taking it out on her and screaming at her and i cannot do anything to intervene because i am seventeen and they have both always found nothing but faults in me. i tried to get help from social services, but my grandparents refused to accept said help, then got mad at me for getting outside parties involved. my family is mostly resigned and just doing what they can, but i don't think they register that i am still legally my grandparents' child. everything that happens to them affects me. the lack of intervention affects me. i cant take this and i don't know how to drag myself through my daily life while also feeling like i live in a house of cards that could fall apart at any minute.
this whole post is a ramble but i just need somewhere to say this.

Demographics

• Gender: Male
• Race/Ethnicity: South Asian
• Residence: DTX area in Texas
• Type of School: Public

Intended Major(s): Biomedical Engineering
Academics

• GPA (UW/W): 3.0 UW 3.9/6 W
• Rank (or percentile): N/A
• of Honors/AP/IB/Dual Enrollment/etc.: 6 Honors 13 AP No Dual Enrollment
• Senior Year Course Load: AP Bio, AP Chem, AP Gov, AP Macroecon, AP Calc AB, AP Stats, Anatomy and Physiology, AP Literature.

Standardized Testing
List the highest scores earned and all scores that were reported.

• SAT I: 1410 (700 RW, 710M)
• AP/IB: AP World History: 3

Extracurriculars/Activities
List all extracurricular involvements, including leadership roles, time commitments, major achievements, etc.

1. Orchestra
2. Science UIL Captain
3. Created an app that helps users with health issues
4. Mu alpha theta(Natonal math honor society) member
5. Gideon math and reading tutoring job
6. general volunteering with clubs - racked in 100 hours
7. founded a stem newsletter with the intent of using bionic reading to help out special needs kids
8. 3d printed a prosthetic arm
9. co founded a nonprofit related to bme

Awards/Honors
List all awards and honors submitted on your application.

1. National Honor Society
2. National Math Honor Society
3. Orchestra UIL Award
4. Hopefully AP Scholar in July

Letters of Recommendation
Physics teacher - 8/10 didn't really have that much of a connection but was still a good teacher
Engineering teacher - 6/10 had her sophomore year, prolly forgot about me and wrote a poor letter
Decisions (indicate ED/EA/REA/SCEA/RD)
UTD(Most preferred option of school)
UT Austin
UNT
TAMU
Rice
SMU
Baylor
Texas Tech
OOS:
Georgia Tech
Purdue
Additional Information:
I'm still a junior so Ive got time to boost my apps over the summer lmk if yall know anything

Hi, everybody! First time posting here. Any advice will be appreciated!
I (28F) have been with my boyfriend (32M) for 5 months. We met on a dating app. We are both dating with the intention of getting married and we both are very slow people, so we decided from the very beginning that we will hold off physical intimacy and let it come naturally. Despite the lack of physical intimacy, we instantly hit it off. Since we both work very long hours everyday, we usually just text 1-2x to check up on each other throughout the week and catch up on the weekend. We also work overtime on the weekend, but we always try to spend one day every weekend together to get to know each other. All our values and hobbies align.
The last time we met, we initiated physical intimacy by cuddling and kissing. Before we separated that day, we both discussed how we felt about the experience. We both agreed that it feels good and correct. We both thought that it's the most comfortable we have felt with any other people we've met. We even discussed starting a family and being with each other forever. He even invited me to a party the following weekend to meet his colleagues.
Then, he sent me a text at the end of next week saying our relationship will not work out because he feels no spark between us. What is this spark? I am pretty sure the spark was there at the beginning because that is why we spent so much time together. And as we passed the honeymoon phase, I just assumed the spark transformed into a slow growing love.
I am just very confused by his decision and cannot figure out what went wrong that made the spark so important now. Why hasn't he mentioned this before at all? On the same day I received the text, I messaged back telling him I need him to tell me in a serious conversation what is wrong, even if it's ending it. I asked to schedule a FaceTime call with him. He left me on delivered and never replied. The same night, I sent him a letter expressing my feelings and asked how he wants me to return his stuffs. It has been 6 days and he still left me on delivered and never read my messages. I just don't know how to read into his silence because I know where he lives, so I can totally go and return his belongings. What does his silence mean?
I feel like he is an anxious avoidant partner because throughout our relationship, he will pull back each time when we make milestone in our relationship. He will go through periods of no response with messages. But, he will always reply by the weekend. He did share thoughts of breaking up with me when we hit a rough patch at around 3-4 month of our relationship. I always assured him that everything will be alright as long as we communicate our needs and concerns. He always expressed understanding and slowly started to open up to me about everything in his life. Nothing was abnormal the month prior to him sending the message.
I just feel so blindsided because we did not even have a conflict beforehand. There were absolutely no signs in our most recent conversation and we even made promises to each other about the future. Since I am in grad school and finals are coming up, I have not reached out at all again. I was thinking I will go NC for a month and once I am done with finals I will reach out again to ask if he wants to keep trying and reignite the spark we used to have.
However, I decided to check his dating profile on the app we met, I saw that he updated his profile and he never even bothered to unmatch me. My emotional and mental health are not taking this move from him very well. I don't know what I to do now and I am completely shattered. I really want to see if we can work this out because we have a genuine connection.
Is it stupid to reach out again at this point? I always just thought he needs some space to think about us. Is he moving on already? Can we ever get the spark back?