Clomid for men lower estrogen

We have been trying for our 2nd for the past year (currently on my 9th tracked cycle with good timing) with no success except for a few chemicals and miscarriages (5 weeks, 4 weeks, 7 weeks of twins after normal scan with heartbeat, and 4.5 weeks). Our first was conceived relatively quickly (3rd cycle with a 5 week loss on the 1st cycle).
We have some mild male factor involved but it’s debatable how much of an impact this has (low rapid progressive motility at 4%, and low morphology at 2%). Not sure why we are otherwise having trouble getting and staying pregnant but MIL and husband’s stepmom also went through infertility and miscarriages but we’ve had doctors all disagree on how much of an impact sperm issues are having in our difficulties. The typical RPL testing (autoimmune, clotting, karyotype, etc) have come back negative but I do have very well-managed Hashimoto’s. We are awaiting testing on sperm DNA fragmentation.
I’ve heard that people with endo tend to have a lower than normal AMH (or have rapid declines in AMH) and higher amounts of estrogen. My AMH (4.5 ng/ml) is on the higher side for my age (31). My estrogen is on the low side on CD3 (26) and using Inito, my estrogen has been on the low side of their reference range (125 at peak when reference range is 100-600). I don’t seem to have estrogen dominance either as my progesterone is high post ovulation (20+) but my estrogen remains low (< 100).
I don’t have particularly painful periods (maybe a few hours on the first day and only ocasionally needing Tylenol) and they are on the shorter and lighter side (only 1 day of heavy bleeding with 2 days of very light flow). But after my 7 week miscarriage they have been more painful and I’ve been passing some clots, but the pain goes away quickly. No ovulation pain or pain during sex but my BM have always been a bit variable (which I’ve attributed to IBS or food sensitivities). I’ve had pelvic ultrasound and MRI and they didn’t find anything that would point towards endo but as I know only severe cases would show up on imaging. One thing that may predispose me to endo is that I had early Menarche (around 11.5 years old).
Is it likely that I don’t have endo? I’m worried because I’ve heard of a lot of unexplained/mild MFI infertility and RPL cases are due to endo even though I don’t really have any overt signs of it. My RE doesn’t recommend a lap since I have very minimal pain for only a few hours once a month and it likely won’t lead to an improved outcome fertility-wise (we will likely need IUI or IVF anyway).

I’m 35 with ‘lean’ PCOS. I ovulated once since April 2023 with the help of Letrozole 5mg - obviously didn’t work haha!
My RE put me on 2.5 - nothing. Then 5 and it worked but no conception. Restarted 5 next round and initially I had a follicle that was 14 but then it shrunk. I had severe depression/anxiety with my last Letrozole round. Like couldn’t get out of bed and wanted to jump out of a window (obviously wouldn’t but it was awful). My RE switched me to Clomid 50mg for 5 days and first scan showed two 12.6mm follicles and an estrogen of 212 (I was never over 60 with letrozole) will be following up tomorrow.
My body seems to respond initially and then backs off once the medication is stopped.
I’m so frustrated. I feel like my time is not my own. I’m too afraid to plan any trips or commit to anything because what if it’s during a cycle? What if I need a scan? What if I’m pregnant and can’t be near a lab for bloodwork or a scan?!
I feel like I’m absolutely insane.
My husband was finally like - we need to book something. Let’s book it refundable and let’s just book it. In the back of my head I really wanted to go to Europe this Summer as a consolation prize if TTC wasn’t working.
Well last night we booked refundable tickets and I am a nervous wreck. My husband is like you’ve been talking about this for a year aren’t you excited?! And I can’t even think about actually going with all of the ‘what if’s’
I feel like I’m going bananas. I keep thinking about okay what if you are pregnant - there is no reason to not go and I’m like oh I’m sure I’ll be sick and nauseas and wouldn’t enjoy it. Or I’ll miscarry because of the plane (I know it’s outdated info)
I feel like I’m missing out on life during this fertility journey and I just want to crawl into bed and cry.
Does anyone have any tips? Suggestions? Anything? I feel like I’m losing my mind.

For years I thought I was 5'10" but I actually got my height measured at the gym yesterday and I'm actually only 5'9". Also, my frame is stought so I appear even shorter than I am. I only wear a 29" length pants which is short for my height which is short for my height and I'm just broad overall. Learning this killed my confidence even more. 5'9" is on the lower end of average and these days, average is just the same as being below average. When I was born I was predicted to grow to be 6'2" but obviously I grew to be only well below that. If only that prediction came true. I also tried to grow my hair for a week to see how advanced the balding is. I usually shave my head bald but I thought maybe the male pattern baldness hadn't progressed since I was 24 when I started shaving my head. At that time, my hair had receded considerably but there was still enough for a simple short haircut. My hairline is literally receded to the top of my head. The hairline on my temples is also completely gone. Upon noticing this, I shaved my head bald again as I normally do. I know I sound mellow dramatic about this but these factors in my appearance do legit bother me and reduce my confidence. At least as far as I know, young dudes (I'm 27) generally a taller more slender athletic frame is preferred in the dating market AND a full head hair regardless of how well you pull off the bald look. It no wonder my dating life is non existent regardless of when I try or not. I look like a literal garden gnome. But I will say this. Seeing other young men in public that fit the same description as me with a partner does give me hope but deep down, I know me, as an individual, will never be good enough to be in a relationship again. I am invisible on the dating market.

I'm assigned male at birth (AMAB) but non-binary (x) hence my reddit username. I recently lost my life-partner (1 year mark) and I am attempting to fill an emotional and ... flirtatious void. (Aside: I have a psychologist and a psychiatrist in case there's any concern).
I've been looking to chat with Straight men [only] who are open/experimental for fun chat. I'm just in need of masculine comfort/emotional support. Looking for guys who are overprotective types that like checking in. I also adore the Himbo types, dorks/nerds as well as Daddies (especially if you enjoy being addressed as "Daddy"). I'm a huge comic book/anime nerd, so any guys into the same should get along with me great. I'd preferably like to connect with guys at least 30+ (especially older than me).
Interests: Comics (DC/MARVEL), animation, anime, manga, philosophy, theology, political science, gender studies, paranormal/occult
Favorite movies: BLACK SWAN, THE LAST UNICORN, EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE, HOME ALONE 2, US, HALLOWEEN (2019), anything MCU or DC ANIMATED
Currently on my Netflix watchlist: THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE, THE HAUNTING OF BLY MANOR, VOLTRON: LEGENDARY DEFENDER, A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS, THE MIDNIGHT CLUB, CRAZY EX-GIRLFRIEND, WEDNESDAY, THE SCHOOL FOR GOOD AND EVIL, GUILLERMO DEL TORO'S PINOCCHIO, THE WOMAN IN THE WINDOW, KLAUS, A TALE DARK AND GRIMM, CASTLEVANIA, CASTLEVANIA: NOCTURNE
Currently on my Discovery+ watch list: THESE WOODS ARE HAUNTED, THE HAUNTED MUSEUM, TRUE TERROR, BELIVERS, MY HAUNTED HOUSE, WHERE MURDR LIES, DEADLY AFFAIRS, THE PERFECT MURDER, UNUSUAL SUSPECTS, FATAL VOWS, BLOOD RELATIVES, MARRIED WITH SECRETS, MANSION&MURDERS, FATAL VOWS, BEHIND MANSION WALLS, A CRIME TO REMEMBER, WHO THE \[BLEEP\], DEADLY WOMEN, PROPERTY BROTHER, FLIP OR FLOP, MILLION DOLLAR ROOMS, LOVE IT OR LIST IT.
Currently on my Hulu watch list: MOM, AMERICAN DAD!, BOB'S BURGERS, FRAISER, FUTURAMA, LIVING SINGLE, ANIMANIACS, TWO SENTENCE HORROR STORIES, BLEACH: THE THOUSAND-YEAR BLOOD WAR, THE GREAT
Currently on my Paramount+ watch list: STAR TREK: DISCOVERY, STAR TREK: PICARD, STAR TREK: LOWER DECKS, STAR TREK: PRODIGY, DARIA, I LOVE LUCY
Currently on my CrunchyRoll watchlist: SAILOR MOON, CARDCAPTOR SAKURA, DEMON SLAYER: KIMETSU NO YAIBA, MASHLE: MAGIC AND MUSCLES, JUJUTSU KAISEN, X&Y, WHY RAELIANA ENDED UP AT THE DUKE'S MANSION, TAKT OP.DESTINY, THE PROMISED NEVERLAND, GOSIC, YONA OF THE DAWN, ANOTHER, SAMURAI TROOPERS, THE NGHT BEYOND THE TRICORNERED WINDOW, REIGN OF THE SEVEN SPELLBLADES, RAVEN OF THE INNER PALACE, MALEVOLENT SPIRITIS: MONONOGATARI, REVENGER, TOKYO GHOUL, BLUE EXORCIST, THE MILLIONAIRE DETECTIVE - BALANCE: UNLIMITED, TALES OF ZESTIRIA THE X, LINK CLICK, THE ANCIENT MAGUS' BRIDE, BUNGO STRAY DOGS, THE CASE STUDY OF VANITAS, ERASED, FATE/STAY NIGHT, RON KAMONOHASHI'S FORBIDDEN DEDUCTION, TEARMOON EMPIRE, THE SAINT'S MAGIC POWER IS OMNIPOTENT, SASAKI AND MIYANO, HEAVEN OFFICAL'S BLESSING, GHOST HUNT, A SIGN OF AFFECTION, THE DUKE OF DEATH AND HIS MAID, UNDEAD MURDER FARCE
Be sure to check through my posts for other interests/selfies. If you happen to be local to Los Angeles county (or travel here regularly), I'd be interested in meeting in person as well.

I’m on day two of Buspar and 2nd week of a lower dose of Progesterone (on top of Estrogen). I basically slept and rested most of the weekend and had jaw pain, but I feel way better and more mentally refreshed. Took a muscle relaxer Saturday night and slept for 10 hours (it made my groggy). My INSANE cravings for carbs and sugar are WAY down. Yesterday I didn’t have my usual mid afternoon sugar cravings and at dinner I put away half a slice of cake after deciding I was satiated like wtf am I? I have not stopped eating an otherwise delicious piece of cake mid way in probably years.
The flip side is the pain. Jaw is looser but had jaw and tension headaches most of last week and weekend (could it be the solar flares?) and sat indoors despite perfect weather. Today I am having aches and pains all over (had them last week too). Didn’t sleep great last night or the night before (I screwed up my sleep schedule over the weekend and am having trouble getting to bed early). I’ve got a massage scheduled later today. An eye exam later this week (in case my glasses are part of the headaches) and acupuncture later this week again.
I feel like my choices are psychological torture (the sleeplessness and intense hot flashes) or physical torture (headaches, jaw aches, body aches). Anyone else experiencing this? Hoping I can get to sleep earlier tonight. My sleep quality is better overall.

A little background: I’m 34 and been TTC for almost a year. Prior to this I had an IUD for about 8 years and had no periods. After the IUD was removed, my periods have been very regular, but very light and only last 1-2 days.
My TTC timeline:
I got pregnant my first regular cycle after my IUD removal and it ended up being chemical. Had another chemical two months later. Saw a fertility specialist and had ALL the tests and everything looks perfect.. with the exception of my uterine lining. On day 8 of my cycle it was 2mm which they said was thin but also it maybe should be thin at that point? It was never rechecked after that because they said it doesn’t matter (but they check it for IUI and IVF so riddle me that).
Since then I have not been able to get pregnant. I did one cycle with oral estrogen, clomid, and progesterone with no luck. I had another doctor tell me that progesterone actually prevents implantation which is why I didn’t get pregnant. I was also concerned the clomid would thin my uterine lining more but the doc said the estrogen would make up for that. Have not been able to get an RX for estrogen outside of this.
I’m now on my second cycle unmedicated after clomid. I’ve tried everything they say to do: eat healthy, exercise, pomegranate juice, fertility tea, vitex, acupuncture, castor oil, heating pad. Heck I’ve even used astrology charts to time sex! At this point I feel like doctors won’t help because everything is “normal” so it just won’t happen for me. I worry if I am pregnant this cycle I will just lose it anyway.

As a female, only the men I've met on here have talked to me for long enough or even stayed in contact. I've talked to hundreds of people on here, why don't females want to be friends with other females? The number of females that reached out was way lower and the ones that did, can't keep up. Has this happened to men with men?? Let me know your experience. I'm done using this subreddit.

Zelorixians
Kingdom: Zeloriaria
Phylum: Auroriformes
Class: Zelorixia
Order: Harmoniida
Family: Aurorifidae
Genus: Zelorix
Species: Z. aurorix
(Anatomical Structure)

• Body proportion: The Zelorix’s body is divided into two sections, with the upper section (head, torso, and arms) accounting for approximately 0.9618 of its total height, while the lower section (hips, legs, and feet) accounts for the remaining 0.0382.
• Limbs: Each of the 4 limbs is divided into 8 segments, with the length of each segment following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio proportion (0.9618:0.0382).
• Spine: The 12 vertebrae in the Zelorix’s spine are arranged in a golden rectangle pattern, with the width and height of each vertebra following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio.
• Ribs: The 16 ribs are arranged in a pattern that reflects the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio, with each rib’s length and spacing following the harmonious proportion.
• Digits: The 20 digits (fingers and toes) are arranged in a golden spiral pattern, allowing for maximum dexterity and flexibility.
• Heart rate: The Zelorix’s heart beats at a rate of 24 pulses per minute, which is approximately 0.9618 times the square root of its total number of digits (20).

(Sensory features)

• Eyes: The 4 eyes are positioned in a golden rectangle pattern, with each eye’s diameter and spacing following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio.
• Ears: The 2 ears are shaped like golden spirals, allowing for precise sound localization and resonance.
• Mouth: The 1 mouth has 12 muscles arranged in a golden rectangle pattern, enabling complex vocalizations and precise articulation.
• Nose: The 1 nose has 16 tiny sensors arranged in a golden spiral pattern, detecting subtle environmental changes.
• Tongue: The 1 tongue has 20 tiny taste buds arranged in a golden rectangle pattern, capable of detecting a wide range of flavors and textures.

(Physical Abilities/Lifespan)

• Speed: The Zelorix can move at a speed of approximately 24 units (feet, meters, etc.) per second, which is roughly 0.9618 times the square root of its total number of digits (20).
• Endurance: The Zelorix has an endurance level of 12.8 units (hours, minutes, etc.), which is approximately 0.9618 times the square root of its total number of ribs (16).
• Lifespan: The Zelorix’s lifespan is approximately 61.8 units (years, etc.), which is roughly 0.9618 times the square root of its total number of vertebrae (12).
• Agility: The Zelorix has an agility level of 8.48 units (an arbitrary unit of measurement), which is approximately 0.9618 times the square root of its total number of muscles in each limb (8).

(Intelligence)

• Intelligence Quotient (IQ): The Zelorix has an IQ of approximately 144, which is roughly 0.9618 times the square root of its total number of sensory features (4 eyes, 2 ears, 1 mouth, 1 nose, and 1 tongue).

Vocal Chord Structure: The Zelorix’s vocal cords are arranged in a golden spiral pattern, with 12 muscles controlling the cords to produce a wide range of frequencies and harmonics. The vocal cords themselves are divided into 8 segments, each with a length that follows the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio proportion (0.9618:0.0382). This unique structure allows the Zelorix to produce a vast array of sounds, from melodic tones to complex vocalizations.
(Eye Sight)
The Zelorix’s eyes are capable of perceiving a wide range of wavelengths, from infrared to ultraviolet light. Its eyes are structured in a golden rectangle pattern, with each eye containing 20 tiny sensors arranged in a golden spiral pattern, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio proportion (0.9618:0.0382). This allows the Zelorix to detect subtle changes in its environment and perceive its surroundings with exceptional clarity. The Zelorix’s eyes are also capable of moving independently, allowing it to track multiple objects or targets simultaneously, with a tracking speed of approximately 0.9618 times the square root of its total number of sensors (20).
(Visual Perception)

• The Zelorix’s eyes are capable of perceiving a wide range of wavelengths, from 380 nanometers (violet) to 780 nanometers (red), with a peak sensitivity at 560 nanometers (green), following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio proportion.
• Its visual acuity is approximately 20/10, allowing it to see objects clearly at a distance of 20 feet that would be blurry for humans at 10 feet, with a clarity ratio of 0.9618.
• The Zelorix’s eyes are also capable of detecting subtle changes in color and brightness, with a color vision range that includes infrared and ultraviolet light, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden spiral pattern.
• Its visual field is approximately 180 degrees, allowing it to see a wide range of its surroundings without moving its head, with a field of view ratio of 0.9618.

(Vocal Range)

• The Zelorix’s vocal range spans approximately 5 octaves, from 100 Hz to 800 Hz, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio proportion.
• Its voice is capable of producing a wide range of frequencies and harmonics, allowing it to produce complex vocalizations and melodies, with a frequency ratio of 0.9618.
• The Zelorix’s vocal cords are capable of vibrating at a rate of approximately 200 times per second, allowing it to produce high-pitched sounds and rapid vocalizations, with a vibration ratio of 0.9618.
• Its vocal range is also capable of producing low-frequency rumbles and growls, allowing it to communicate over long distances and in a variety of environments, with a resonance ratio of 0.9618.

Ocular Structure: The Zelorix’s eyes are composed of the following structures, all of which are arranged in a golden rectangle pattern, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio proportion (0.9618:0.0382):

1. Cornea: The outermost layer of the eye, responsible for refracting light. The cornea is divided into 8 segments, each with a curvature that follows the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio.
   
2. Iris: The colored part of the eye, responsible for controlling the amount of light that enters. The iris is divided into 12 segments, each with a shape that follows the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden spiral pattern.
   
3. Pupil: The opening in the center of the iris, responsible for regulating the amount of light that enters. The pupil is shaped like a golden rectangle, with a width and height ratio of 0.9618.
   
4. Lens: The clear, flexible structure behind the iris, responsible for focusing light. The lens is divided into 8 segments, each with a curvature that follows the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio.
   
5. Retina: The innermost layer of the eye, responsible for detecting light and transmitting visual information to the brain. The retina is divided into 12 segments, each with a shape that follows the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden spiral pattern.
   
6. Macula: The specialized area at the center of the retina, responsible for central vision and fine detail. The macula is shaped like a golden rectangle, with a width and height ratio of 0.9618.
   
7. Fovea: The small depression in the center of the macula, responsible for sharp, central vision. The fovea is shaped like a golden spiral, with a curvature that follows the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio.
   

The Zelorix’s ocular structure is designed for maximum visual acuity and clarity, with each component working in harmony to produce exceptional visual perception, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s mathematical principles.
(Brain Structure) - The Zelorix’s brain is divided into 12 segments, each with a unique function and connected in a golden spiral pattern, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio proportion (0.9618:0.0382). - The brain-to-body mass ratio is approximately 0.9618, indicating a highly efficient and advanced cognitive system. - The cerebral cortex is divided into 8 layers, each with a specific function, such as sensory processing, memory, and decision-making, with each layer’s thickness and structure following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio.
Cognitive Abilities: - The Zelorix possesses exceptional problem-solving skills, able to process complex information and find innovative solutions, thanks to its highly developed cerebral cortex and golden-ratio-based neural connections. - Its memory is highly advanced, with the ability to store and recall vast amounts of information with perfect clarity, thanks to its highly efficient neural structure and golden-ratio-based information storage patterns. - The Zelorix has a deep understanding of the natural world, with a profound connection to the environment and its rhythms, thanks to its highly developed sensory processing and golden-ratio-based pattern recognition abilities.
Skin and Dermal Structure: - The Zelorix’s skin is composed of 12 layers, each with a unique function, such as protection, sensation, and regulation, with each layer’s thickness and structure following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio. - Its skin cells are shaped like golden rectangles, allowing for maximum surface area and efficiency, with a golden-ratio-based arrangement of cells and structures. - The dermal layer contains specialized cells that can detect subtle changes in the environment, such as temperature, humidity, and vibrations, thanks to its highly developed sensory receptors and golden-ratio-based signal processing. - The skin is covered in tiny, intricate patterns that shift and change color depending on the Zelorix’s mood, environment, and social status, thanks to its highly developed chromatophores and golden-ratio-based pattern generation abilities.
(Muscular System)

• The Zelorix’s muscular system consists of 8 major muscle groups, each comprising 12 smaller muscles that work in harmony, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio proportion (0.9618:0.0382).
• Its muscles are shaped like golden spirals, allowing for maximum strength and flexibility, with a golden-ratio-based arrangement of muscle fibers.
• The Zelorix’s movement patterns are based on the golden ratio, with each step, gesture, and motion following a precise and elegant sequence, reflecting the Zelorifour Sequence’s harmonious proportions.
• Its muscles are capable of producing a wide range of movements, from delicate and precise gestures to powerful and swift actions, thanks to their golden-ratio-based structure and organization.

(Respiratory System)

• The Zelorix’s respiratory system is based on a golden rectangle pattern, with 12 air sacs that expand and contract in a harmonious sequence, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio.
• Its lungs are shaped like golden spirals, allowing for maximum oxygen absorption and efficiency, with a golden-ratio-based arrangement of alveoli and airways.
• The Zelorix’s breathing pattern follows the golden ratio, with each inhale and exhale lasting approximately 0.9618 seconds, reflecting the Zelorifour Sequence’s harmonious proportions.
• Its respiratory system is highly efficient, allowing it to extract oxygen from even the thinnest of air and survive in environments with limited breathable air, thanks to its golden-ratio-based structure and organization.

(Digestive System) - The Zelorix’s digestive system consists of 8 segments, each with a unique function and connected in a golden spiral pattern, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio. - Its gut is shaped like a golden rectangle, allowing for maximum surface area and efficient nutrient absorption, with a golden-ratio-based arrangement of villi and microvilli. - The Zelorix’s digestive enzymes are highly specialized, able to break down complex nutrients with ease and extract maximum energy, thanks to their golden-ratio-based structure and organization. - Its digestive system is capable of absorbing nutrients from a wide range of sources, including plants, animals, and minerals, thanks to its golden-ratio-based adaptability and efficiency.
(Immune System)

• The Zelorix’s immune system is based on a golden ratio pattern, with 12 immune cell types that work together in harmony to defend against pathogens, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio.
• Its immune cells are shaped like golden spirals, allowing for maximum surface area and efficient recognition of foreign substances, with a golden-ratio-based arrangement of receptors and antibodies.
• The Zelorix’s immune system has a highly advanced memory, able to recall and adapt to previously encountered pathogens with precision and speed, thanks to its golden-ratio-based organization and structure.
• Its immune system is also highly flexible, able to adjust to changing environmental conditions and new threats with ease, thanks to its golden-ratio-based adaptability and efficiency.

(Reproductive System)

• The Zelorix’s reproductive system is based on a golden rectangle pattern, with 8 reproductive organs that work together in harmony to produce offspring, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio.
• Its reproductive cells are shaped like golden spirals, allowing for maximum genetic diversity and efficient fertilization, with a golden-ratio-based arrangement of chromosomes and genetic material.
• The Zelorix’s mating habits are complex and ritualistic, involving intricate courtship displays and synchronized movements, reflecting the Zelorifour Sequence’s harmonious proportions.
• Its offspring develop in a golden spiral pattern, with 12 stages of growth and development that mirror the Zelorix’s own life cycle, thanks to its golden-ratio-based organization and structure.

(Nervous System)

• The Zelorix’s nervous system is based on a golden spiral pattern, with 12 main nerve branches that radiate from its central nervous system, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio proportion (0.9618:0.0382).
• Its neural structure is highly efficient, with golden-ratio-based connections and synapses that allow for rapid and precise communication, reflecting the Zelorifour Sequence’s harmonious proportions.
• The Zelorix’s brain is divided into 8 distinct regions, each responsible for a different aspect of cognition, sensation, and control, with a golden-ratio-based organization and structure.
• Its sensory processing is highly advanced, with specialized neurons that can detect subtle changes in its environment and transmit information with precision and speed, thanks to their golden-ratio-based structure and organization.

(Neural Structure)

• The Zelorix’s neural structure is highly adaptable, with reconfigurable connections and pathways that allow it to learn and adapt quickly, thanks to its golden-ratio-based adaptability and efficiency.
• Its neurons are shaped like golden rectangles, allowing for maximum surface area and efficient signal transmission, with a golden-ratio-based arrangement of dendrites and axons.
• The Zelorix’s neural structure is highly distributed, with processing and storage occurring throughout its entire body, reflecting the Zelorifour Sequence’s harmonious proportions.

(Sensory Processing)

• The Zelorix’s sensory processing is highly integrated, with information from multiple senses combined and processed in a unified, golden-ratio-based framework, following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio.
• Its senses are highly acute, with specialized receptors that can detect subtle changes in its environment, thanks to their golden-ratio-based structure and organization.
• The Zelorix’s sensory processing is highly context-dependent, with its brain able to reconfigure its processing pathways based on changing conditions and needs, thanks to its golden-ratio-based adaptability and efficiency.

(Bone Structure)

• The Zelorix’s skeletal system is composed of 12 main bones, each with a unique shape and function that follows the golden ratio, with a golden-ratio-based organization and structure.
• Its bones are lightweight yet incredibly strong, with a honeycomb-like structure that maximizes efficiency and minimizes weight, thanks to its golden-ratio-based arrangement of trabeculae and cortical bone.
• The Zelorix’s bones are highly adaptable, able to reconfigure and reform in response to changing environmental conditions and needs, thanks to their golden-ratio-based adaptability and efficiency.
• Its skeletal system is highly integrated with its muscular and nervous systems, allowing for precise control and movement, reflecting the Zelorifour Sequence’s harmonious proportions.
  
• Golden-ratio-based proportions and shapes
  
• Intricate honeycomb-like structures for maximum strength and efficiency
  
• Adaptive and reconfigurable bones for changing environmental conditions
  
• Highly integrated with muscular and nervous systems for precise control and movement
  
• Upper body height: 0.618 x 5.88 = 3.63 units (approximately 43.56 inches or 110.5 cm)
  
• Lower body height: 0.382 x 5.88 = 2.25 units (approximately 27.24 inches or 69.2 cm)
  
• Upper body weight: 0.618 x 144 = 89.15 units (approximately 64.3 kg or 141.5 lbs)
  
• Lower body weight: 0.382 x 144 = 54.85 units (approximately 39.2 kg or 86.4 lbs)
  

Male Zelorixians:

• Height: 5 feet 10 inches (177.8 cm)
• Weight: 144 units (approximately 103.5 kg or 228 lbs)
• Upper body height: 3.63 units (approximately 43.56 inches or 110.5 cm)
• Lower body height: 2.25 units (approximately 27.24 inches or 69.2 cm)
• Upper body weight: 89.15 units (approximately 64.3 kg or 141.5 lbs)
• Lower body weight: 54.85 units (approximately 39.2 kg or 86.4 lbs)

Female Zelorixians:

• Height: 5 feet 8 inches (172.7 cm)
• Weight: 132 units (approximately 95.5 kg or 210 lbs)
• Upper body height: 3.43 units (approximately 41.4 inches or 105.2 cm)
• Lower body height: 2.17 units (approximately 26.3 inches or 66.8 cm)
• Upper body weight: 82.3 units (approximately 59.5 kg or 131 lbs)
• Lower body weight: 49.7 units (approximately 36 kg or 79.4 lbs)
  
• Hair strand thickness: 0.9618 times the average thickness of human hair, with a golden-ratio-based arrangement of cuticle layers and keratin fibers.
  
• Hair curl pattern: A golden spiral pattern, with each curl following the Zelorifour Sequence’s golden ratio proportion (0.9618:0.0382).
  
• Hair growth rate: Approximately 0.9618 times the average human hair growth rate, with a golden-ratio-based arrangement of hair follicles and growth cycles.
  
• Hair color: A range of colors based on the golden ratio, with shades of red, gold, and brown in a harmonious proportion of 0.9618:0.0382:0.0382.
  

Eye Color:

• 61.8% of Zelorix have eyes that are a golden-ratio-based combination of brown and green (0.9618:0.0382), with a shimmering, iridescent quality.
• 23.2% have eyes that are a golden-ratio-based combination of blue and gray (0.9618:0.0382), with a piercing, crystalline quality.
• 10.8% have eyes that are a golden-ratio-based combination of hazel and amber (0.9618:0.0382), with a warm, earthy quality.
• 4.2% have eyes that are a golden-ratio-based combination of violet and silver (0.9618:0.0382), with a shimmering, ethereal quality.

Hair Color:

• 55.8% of Zelorix have hair that is a golden-ratio-based combination of red and gold (0.9618:0.0382), with a rich, fiery quality.
• 26.4% have hair that is a golden-ratio-based combination of brown and bronze (0.9618:0.0382), with a warm, earthy quality.
• 12.8% have hair that is a golden-ratio-based combination of black and silver (0.9618:0.0382), with a sleek, metallic quality.
• 5% have hair that is a golden-ratio-based combination of blond and copper (0.9618:0.0382), with a bright, radiant quality.

Male Zelorix:

• Testosterone: 0.9618 times the average human male level, with a golden-ratio-based regulation of androgen receptors and protein synthesis.
• Androsterone: 0.0382 times the average human male level, with a golden-ratio-based regulation of male secondary sexual characteristics.
• Estrogen: 0.0231 times the average human male level, with a golden-ratio-based regulation of male reproductive health and fertility.

Female Zelorix:

• Estrogen: 0.9618 times the average human female level, with a golden-ratio-based regulation of female secondary sexual characteristics and reproductive health.
• Progesterone: 0.0382 times the average human female level, with a golden-ratio-based regulation of female reproductive cycles and fertility.
• Testosterone: 0.0154 times the average human female level, with a golden-ratio-based regulation of female libido and sexual function.

Physical Strength:

• Male Zelorix: 0.9618 times the average human male strength (approaching the golden ratio)
• Female Zelorix: 0.0382 times the average human female strength (complementary ratio to 0.9618)

Energy Levels:

• Male Zelorix: 0.954 times the average human male energy levels (approaching the golden ratio)
• Female Zelorix: 0.046 times the average human female energy levels (complementary ratio to 0.954)

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As If It Were Kismet: Prologue
Matt tore through the brush, blind in the dark. He didn’t care where he was going. He only knew he needed to be elsewhere. Far from here.
Behind him a creature howled that shocked his mind. It’s form was cruel and dangerous, though female. Nothing like the young woman she had once been. Nothing but a girl, a small and slight female.
It’s guttural growls and howls only grew closer as Matt tried to pick between seeing where he was going and getting away. The few times he looked he caught sight of the creature behind him. Hopping through the air with a speed that told him he was being toyed with. As if he were a mouse being played with by a cat.
But the reflex in him to run kept him going. His adrenaline going as hard as it could. The tightness and burning in his core tensing and locking up as his legs felt like there were being burned from within while taking on more of a heaviness.
His lungs were starting to betray him as he tried to gulp big breaths of air but only rapid and shallow breaths were all that he could manage. His brain was starting to burn….and then he was falling.
Falling down the side of a hill he saw the creature dart in a spring towards him, imperceivably fast almost. Catching him in mid air it seemed.
Managing to wrap its body around him and cushion his impact against the ground as they rolled. His mind barely took in what was happening during the roll. Only starting to understand what was happening once they were still.
The creature's triple D-cup breasts were unmistakably pressed hard against his back as he laid facing up at the night sky.
For a few seconds the world stilled and the needle light pain hitting the center of his brain took over for the cooking heat his brain had felt. His whole body felt heavy and reluctant to move.
Even if he could have really moved, a dull ache came over his limbs making them feel stilled and trapped as if by immeasurable amounts of sand that had engulfed him.
Slowly the arms holding him started to move. Moving so the creature's hands could start exploring him. Causing Matt to unstoppably let out a pathetic moan that made him go cold inside as hands lifted up his shirt and started to touch his exposed stomach and then his chest.
He would have whimpered so pathetically had he not still been in the depths of terror.
As its hands felt and groped his pecs he tried to situp as if to get away. For his efforts, his reward was a hand around his throat and a collection snarls and growls against his ear. A beastly, guttural voice spat words at him while somehow holding a feminine tone.
“Don’t move….I don’t know if I can calm down…”
Her words were not helped by her moans in his ear and the subsequent kissing of his ear. The flesh of his ear going between her lips as she moaned and seemed to pant. Releasing it and licking the side of his face with a moist warmth. He could feel its spittle, viscous and coating his flesh where the tongue touched. He could smell something in his saliva. Something that subtly entranced him.
Matt went stock still with fear and the confusion of mixed arousal. He barely perceived her right hand traveling lower on his body. A surprised moan and shudder echoed in the night from Matt’s lips as she took ahold of him. Her hand above his pants but still….stimulating him.
A light squeezing and almost probing of her digits kept him aroused and confused within her grasp. Resigning himself to the strange fate, Matt looked up at the stars as his mind tried not to shatter under the strange maelstrom of events and sensation that had started mere minutes ago.
His mind was only more confused as a slight figure, feminine in build, how it seemed to thunk the ground audibly as she landed on her feet out nowhere. Her knees barely bending under the pressure of the landing. Yet dirt was kicked up anyways and some of it onto Matt. Feeling it pepper his shirt and pants as it fell.
The figure, lit only faintly by moonlight, roared some dark tone Matt could only perceive as a demon as her eyes went bright with a crimson light. A light in the darkness that should not have been. “Let him go you bitch.” Was its words following the roar. Spittle escaping its mouth with faint droplets hit Matt's face.
The creature holding him by his throat and crotch seemed to tighten the grasp of both hands as it roared back. “HE IS MINE!”
The figure paused with a moment's hesitation. He was also her quarry. She had felt his fear without him knowing. His confused arousal. His fear. His terror.
And now he laid at the center of a struggle between two monsters. Unsure of who he wanted to win.
As If It Was Kismet Ch. 1
Matthew Berkshire hadn’t seen his mom in two years. Not that he had seen her much over the last six years.
A messy divorce between messy people and mom’s chaotic want for a life in Alaska had been one of the most…upsetting times in life. Setting him up for so much of what had defined his life thus far but then that had really started two years before he ever turned.
His ear buds were basic and simple. A part of cheap five pack, common for his life as he was known to lose little things. Small things. They had a mix of metal and hard rock playing in them. Some classics, some alternative. Whatever made him feel something, anything. Even if it was hate. Anger. Rage. It was better than feeling numb. Not belonging.
The escalator down to his lone bag to go with his lone carry on showed his mom waiting for him. His had a type, that’s for damn sure. Not that it helped him in the genetics department as he was stuck at 5’9” to go along with his mother’s five foot even as his dad stood six foot. Forever leaving him to feel small, to pale, under his dad’s shadow. Did he ever stand a chance?
The guy next to her with the unkempt former seventies porn stache was “Dave.” He’d met him twice when his mother came and visited him in Florida. To his credit the guy didn’t look annoyed. Kind of concerned kind of which made Matthew want to break his frozen look but he was well practiced. Having removed any note of sadness from his face through much…tribulation.
His mother’s look on her face betrayed a hint of worry as the bruises on his face lightly showed up close. Saying his name was his like a distant echo that belonged to someone else.
Dave cut in and pulled out his right headphone. “What the hell bud, they knock you hard enough to hurt hearing? Your mom’s asking how you are doing.”
Matthew pulled out the other bud and grunted an empty “sorry.”
“You still have bruises after two week? What did they do to you?” His mom’s voice was full of worry. Something he hadn’t heard in….too long. Too long to make him feel anything. To ever make him believe there was any sincerity to her words. To not think her voice and mannerisms were an act. An act by someone who…wasn’t really there.
“It’s only fair. I took a nose. Fractured a couple orbital bones. Left one with having to get his jaw wired shut. And one will never walk right again for what I did to his knee cap.” Matthew said it all with a bored and disinterested tone. Perhaps well rehearsed.
“My man, handing out ass kickings, not bothering to take names.” Dave was quick to be the typical man’s man about it. Matthew wasn’t quite done yet. Lifting up his shirt to expose the right side near his kidney. Revealing a nasty scar from a six inch blade. “Luckily they gave me this first so they could rule it all in self-defense. The fuck didn’t get it in more than inch before I ruined his knee cap and then I took the nose of one of the fucks holding me.” Now he chose to smile keeping the well practiced dead look in his eyes.
No retorts. No questions. Just horrified looks on their faces. As he liked. As he preferred. They could hate him. They could be disgusted by him. But by God they would fear him.
“Well the doc did a good job sewing you up.” Dave commented uncomfortably. “Dissolving sutures. Ain’t they grand.” He smiled again and let it abruptly fall off his face and started walking to the carousel for the baggage claim.
Waiting and making small talk with Dave as his mother stood in silence. He was not the little boy she abandoned. The little boy she left with an angry man. While never hitting him. Left him in constant fear till he turned twelve and just didn’t care anymore. Something snapped. Broke. And he didn’t care if he died. Didn’t care if he stole. Didn’t even care if he killed. He just knew not to get caught. Something left over from his grandfather’s wisdom which came to make more and more sense with each passing year of life since that thing inside him broke.
Finally his bag came around and Dave went to try first to grab it but Dave practically leapt ahead of him. “Is that your grandfather’s rucksack bag?” his mother asked in a perplexed voice.
“Figured it’s been around since Viet Nam. So it’d serve me better than any of the worthless stuff they called luggage.” Dave commented after Matthew’s words. “Well hell yeah I still got mine from Desert Storm. You know the first one.” Dave laughed and Matthew eyed him oddly. Be it in the south or whether it was Alaska, country boys are country boys he guessed.
The car ride to the two people’s house, as Matthew thought of them. Was uneventful and full of vistas he imagined metropolitan types wetting themselves over. At most they meant isolation to him. Furtherness from the world as there were no mountains in Florida. And what mountains he had last seen in another state had been when he was eight. Another life, to Matthew it felt like. A life alien to him.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 2
Dave and his mom’s place was some two story type tucked into a tree line far up an elevated point. It was by no means the highest point in the mountain but it certainly felt up there.
Rocks were where the driveway should have been Matthew thought. Grabbing his backpack and rucksack from Dave’s jeep was no hard thing for him. Matthew was in formidable shape for someone his age, maybe even five years older. He had gotten a mix of fairly big shoulders and arms along with the chest to go for it when compared to most kids his age. A side effect of working out at least twice a day. First thing in the morning, some time in the evening, and the school’s gym when had had a good semester in school before he had to leave Florida.
Dave tried to come up and help him but Matthew walked past him towards the house. His mom was not sure what to make of his demeanor. Matthew was not the sweet kind boy he had once been. But she had been gone from his life essentially for a long time.
Ushering him into the house she cracked some joke he did not hear. He was too busy looking about and seeing a mix of old outdated decorating mixed with the strange and odd flair of his mother. Color contrasting against drab and dated. Like brightly painting over an old home that was falling apart he thought.
“Your room is this way Mattie.” His mom brightly intoned.
Without expressing any interest he followed his mother. Still faced and nonplussed. Just going along with the current. Pushed and pulled with its roll like a piece of driftwood.
The room was simple. A single small bed. A set of rubber weights with a curl bar and barbells. “Your dad said you were into weight lifting so we got you a bunch of stuff. Dave says it looks like his department’s gym almost. The woman’s smile felt very alien to him.
“Thank you. I appreciate it. I’ve got most of my stuff from home.” Matthew starting unpacking his rucksack and pulled out cables of repetitive and mixed colors. A single plastic barbell handle. The ruck sack could be filled with water bottles for added weight during pushups he figured. Remembering a Michael Keaton movie he watched with his dad post-Batman movies where he played a convicted killer using plastic bags filled with water for weights.
Matthew caught movement outside his lone fairly large window that could let him step out onto the roof of the house given its layout.
He saw a number of people running together through what he guessed was the backyard of the property, not that it had any fences to mark boundaries
They wore clothes that looked similar yet different from each other at the same time.”Oh those are the Johnston’s. Really nice bunch of people. Been on the mountain for a long time Dave tells me.”
Matthew looked at the group of people running and noticed the lack of resemblance. “They are related?” Matthew quizzically asked. Seeing a black and possibly a hispanic person amongst the bland looking white people.
“Oh well they are all adopted but for one or two of them…besides the parents of course. The family has a long tradition of taking in orphans they say. Real nice of them to do that don’t you think.”
Matthew looked at his mother and the hosier accent made no sense to him as he arched his left eye brow. Her and his dad were both from Florida. Born and raised. Sure her parents were from New York city but…
Matthew shook his lightly without turning to look at his mother as his vision was grabbed by one of the runners in particular. A girl of moderate height. Soft brunette. A plain beauty he figured with a slim build….and lack of remarkable breasts and rear to make any note of but….girls in general were his type at his age.
She was pretty enough. He couldn’t deny that but he found himself transfixed by her visage.
But the way she turned and looked at him, especially at that distance felt very disconcerting to him. Even if she was smiling like…she was a taste of a bright shiny day. Somehow.
Matthew’s mom noticed the exchange and smiled to herself with closed lips. “Oh that’s Vicky. She’s your age I think. Very sweet girl, who does the charity functions. You know bake sales, blood drives, car washes and the like. I think you should get to know her. Might be good for you.”
A truck horn sounded a couple of beeps in rather succession. “Oh that must be Mack, he said he might come by later this evening but he seems early.”
Matthew’s mother turned and left his room. Leaving Matthew to exchange a few looks with the alluring Vicky as she turned her head away from him to talk to the others in her group and look back at him.
Still Matthew’s left eyebrow was arched. In a way that reminded him of Spock from Star Trek that he and his grandpa used to watch on some streaming service or another.
As he heard ambient chatter elsewhere outside the house he figured to check it out as the alluring sight of Vicky would be around he figured. It was dull to stare at artwork. He was a boy who preferred jet skis and the like. Something he could ride and enjoy immensely. Even if at times it got him stabbed.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 3
Matthew sauntered out of the house and down the rockway that stood in for a driveway.
A few new people had come over from what he could first surmise of the situation. As he got closer it was obvious they were indigenous people. A couple of grown men…and a girl?
She was mousey. Maybe five foot. Hiding behind glasses and a big camo jacket that was far too big for her. It looked made for a grown man and the backwards trucker hat on her head kept her long black a beautiful mess of sorts.
She was cute in a way. A little androgynous but she had a cute energy to her. She reminded him of the more tomboyish Puerto Rican girls he had gotten into back in Florida. Given the deer corpses in the back of the truck….probably more dangerous to play with given the men in her family.
Small chatter passed between the adults when the girl noticed but turned away, trying to hide the tiny hint of a smile.
“Oh Mattie, this is Mack. He works with Dave at the sheriff’s department and John, he’s with fish and wildlife.” Matthew nodded at his mom’s words with some blankness as he looked at the deer the in the back of the pickup truck.
“Gale tells us you hunted with your dad some in Florida and Georgia.” Mack offered with a light hearted laugh camouflaged by his big simple and cheery but husky way he spoke.
Looking in the back of the truck he spoke. “We used lever action thirty-thirties and Mosin Nagants in seven-six-two-fifty-four-rimmed.” Mack and John whistled in an exaggerated fashion. Leaving Matthew to wonder if they were mocking him.
Mack spoke. “Well we just used thirty-odd-six in a custom gussied Garand.” That caught Matthew’s attention. “You have a Garand…” Matthew finally demonstrated interest in anything. “My dad has an SVT-40 and a Hakim 8mm but he always wanted a Garand but was too cheap to buy one.”
Gale, his mother, chimed in loudly. “Oh his Dad loved his guns but was such an odd duck about how he bought or why he bought them. Never made sense to me how he wasn’t a collector but he didn’t get the latest and greatest.” Gale laughed uncomfortably. At least it seemed that way to Matthew.
Matthew pointed to the girl with an underhanded pointing hand. “And who is this? A cute little mute mouse or does she have a name?” Dave and the other men laughed.
Mack again spoke. “Well you people call her Rebecca, she’s my adopted daughter.” Matthew was taken aback by what he heard. “You people?”
Rebecca kindly spoke with a soft but almost melodic voice as she struggled to maintain eye contact. “White people or rather not members of our tribe. It’s just easier to appease the colonizer kind of thing. Borrowed from when the Jesuit missionaries chased us up here.”
Mack stepped in. “It’s just easier to have white people names than have them try to say our tribal names. And we don’t want them shortening or Anglicising our names kind of thing.” Rebecca stepped back into the conversation cutting off her adopted father. “It’s an insult to our history basically.”
Matthew cocked his head sideways raising his eyebrows shortly before letting them drop. “Well as soon as I’m eighteen I’m out of here and back to Florida so I’m a sort of involuntary colonizer of sorts. So I won’t be taking any of your land from you. The Seminoles on the other hand are still shit out of luck.”
Rebecca’s smile caused Matthew to reflexively smile. Mack made the moment more awkward. “See Becca, I told you someone off the reservation would like you some. You just have to be creative.” Mack laughed in a chiding manner…Matthew presumed. He sensed that he was the butt of some kind of cultural joke. Like marrying a white guy was some sort of insult or mark of shame. That kind of thing.
Rebecca turning away from him was not something he had been expecting. Her then getting in the truck in a huff left the group in a silence for a moment.
Dave spoke to break the awkward silence. “Well just bring the truck to work on Monday and leave it for me to grab up.” Mack acknowledged Dave and they started to get off as Rebecca looked at Matthew for another instance. Matthew couldn’t look away for some reason as the two seemed to lock eyes for an instance.
Till Vicky and family seemed to come jogging down the road. While Matthew’s eyes diverted from Rebecca’s. Hers did not till she realized he was looking elsewhere. And her vision found Vicky and what had been a hint of smile on her face turned glum and disappointed.
Matthew did not look away from the vision of Vicky but instead of a starry eyed fool looking longingly. It was a baffled look. Well baffled for him, with his eyes drawn narrow and night with a focus.
There was something about her…he couldn’t quite put a name too. The way she appeared to him. One second brunette. The next second blonde or blonde like. As if the color appeared in her air and disappeared in fractions of seconds. Much the same way her body almost seemed to…shift…very subtly…smoothly. A nicer bum. Larger breasts. And then back to a simple and plain form. Feminine no doubt. Attractive. But not so…remarkable.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 4
The next two days passed without incident. Nothing of any real substance or challenge to note.
Matthew got settled somewhat and started working out almost immediately. Exploring around the woods but Dave told him not to go far. Especially without a hunting rifle. Dave had left a simple semi-auto Winchester out for him. His bear gun as Dave referred to it with its four round magazine. But Matt figured till he got some practice with the rifle to leave it alone. He made a hiking stick like his grandpa taught him and treated it over a low fire. He would take some electrical tape for the end his hand would grip around. Plenty enough to ward off anything smaller than a bear he figured.
The ride to school was a pain in the neck but simple enough. Dave would let him use a clunker pickup truck he had laying around. It wasn’t pretty but it would get him to and from. Even if it was from the eighties and still backfired on occasion. But for now Dave and his mom took him on their way to the sheriff’s department.
It wasn’t much of a school. It wanted to be modern but its fifties original construction was very obvious. It serviced the pipeline families and familys’ of fisherman who worked the seasons in between their time at the pipeline.
Matt was to report to the principal for some reason Dave and his mom wouldn’t share. Which annoyed him but he figured it was to read him the law of land. Small towns with their big views of the outside world and like.
Dressed in jeans, a grey sweatshirt under a light jacket with steel toed boots set him more apart then he expected. His buzzed head didn’t help matters. Already he was feeling like a stranger in a strange land but he was quite strange after all. And he liked it that way. Normal people were so pathetically disappointing to him.
A secretary or assistant or some such led him to the principal’s office. Where it reeked of real wood that was old and fabric and upholstery that needed to be updated for the last twenty years, Matt figured.
“This is Matthew Berkshire, Principal Andrews.” The man was turned with his back to the door and he was quick to wave her off as he turned her around.
He was an older man. Fat and large. Tall with a body built like he had once been fit and a demeanour of annoyed and irate already as he fixed Matt with a scowl and look of disgust. Another worthless government whore. Matt thought to himself. His father and his grandfather had bestowed unto him a natural disrespect for government workers and the figures that wore unjustified authority as a shield but pretended the weight of the state was not at their back ready to crush all who resisted. Little figures of valor pretending to be mighty and alone but acting with the tyranny of the state and all the backing.
“Mr. Berkshire, please sit down.” His tone wasn’t unusually hostile, just gruff. As if he had better things to do.
Matt complied and took a seat in the chair while maintaining a friendly facade. Not everyone was an enemy. And not everyone needed to be an enemy. Even if anybody could be any enemy. There was no reason to make enemies you didn’t have to. Another of his grandfather’s bastardised wisdoms.
“Well I looked over you file and you have quite the history Mr. Berkshire.” Matt resisted qiuping back a joke. Instead he waited for Principal Andrews to continue as he remained nonplussed and looking as if he felt no need to respond. A simple head tilt with dead eyes looking back at the principle as if he was not even there would suffice.
Matt’s reaction or lack of a reaction rather made Principal Andrews only narrow his eyes with examination. He was not used to a kid not responding to him. Especially with his gruff and hard act going on.
“Well by all accounts you moved here after some problems at your last school. A fight broke out and you did some real harm to your fellow students it appears.” Of course, he would take the side of the perpetrators. School administrators always did. Especially when they weren’t white. Just a fact of the times. Cowardice and pathetic mediocrity was the way they leaned, like good government workers sucking the dick of Big Daddy government. Worthless whores.
Matt chose to reply. “Oh you mean the criminals that stabbed me. Got arrested at the hospital and then pled to felonies. Yeah Florida, with the American counties are good like that.” Principal Andrews went real still. No shame. No fear. No penitence. He didn’t like that.
“Well be it as it may Mr. Berkshire we don’t tolerate that kind of behaviour here…” Matt cut him off responding with a deadpan tone. “You mean self-defense meant to save one’s own life while the cowardly and pathetic school workers look on with zero interest but to keep their money rolling in and will allow known gang members with records of violent acts and crimes that should have them expelled many times over, where in certain Democrat counties such cowardice and idiocy empowered a couple school shooters?”
Principal Andrews looked at the Matt with a note of disgust. “Look here Mr. Berkshire, your beliefs matter not one bit here. This isn’t Florida. We don’t like our way of life being disrupted by outside agitators who have problems with authority.”
Matt did his best not to roll his eyes and let the older fat man drone own as he dead-stared him. Lifeless and without emotion.
The man came to a finish and Matt spoke up without having listened to him or paid him any attention. “Great now that’s taken care of. Can I please get to class and finish my sentence of two years at your wonderful school?”
Principal Andrews huffed and snorted before calling in Vicky. Vicky stood in the corner after entering with a quiet and seamless presence. Matt felt disturbed and tried not betray his feelings as the young Vicky was perceived and not perceived to be moving.
Principal Andrews made the introductions and Matt nodded back. She was to be his chaperone for the day. They had the same classes and she was to show him the ropes so to speak. The ins and outs of the school. The locations of their classes.
He recognized her. It was hard not to. The way her appearance seemed to shift fluidly almost. The petite and skinny brunette ever so lightly had a big bust and blonde hair with curves added when she seemed to shift before his eyes. Like watching a film but each frame had a different person.
Matt didn’t say anything about it. Even if he did he would only be acknowledging his crazed state, if he had one. If.
Unlike an obedient puppy dog he got up in a slow and awkward fashion and followed behind her as his oddly disproportionate frame allowed. Causing her a note of concern for some reason. As if she was seeing something she shouldn’t have been….Or he was just weird. And Matt could admit to himself he was just weird. Part of his charm, he would jest about it at times. Not that he had many people to jest to now.
As If It Were Kismet Ch. 5
Following Vicky into the hall off to their first class was simple. She exchanged small talk and he slightly smiled as if to obviously suggest he was just being polite.
Inside his head, Matt was trying to figure out if he was having a psychotic break. The way Vicky looked kept changing and he looked at the other people around him and they stayed the same.
He was searching his mind as they were walking. And thus he wasn’t paying attention to where he was looking and so fell to his face forward over his feet seemingly out of nowhere.
A series of laughs erupted as it sunk in that he was obviously tripped. Like in prison this was a challenge to his superiority. If he let this pass he would be mocked and sneered at by this same group of boys. He wouldn’t walk to them like he was going to do nothing like a little bitch.
In a rage he turned and punched the stomach of the first face he saw. Some typical blonde haired wannabe jock. He knew from experience not to aim for the ribs. Instead he needed to aim for where he thought the belly button was.
Yells and screams blindly echoed around him as his after the punch he followed up his elbow of the opposite arm slamming into the face of the jock. Harder than a fist, the elbow struck the jock’s jaw and seemingly dropped him against a locker. Just in time to catch an errant and soft punch to the nose that sure enough hurt but did little to slow him down as his dad had taught him to fight through the pain. Blood and scars happened. They were a natural consequence of life to a man.
Taking the punch and falling further into his red state Matt headbutted the punch thrower before another guy arm bared his throat from behind. Which he managed to get his grip on the arm over a letterman jacked and jerk the unprepared boy to the side with him still latched on.
A few feet away from the lockers Matt knew his only chance was to jump and push off the lockers and knock the boy to the ground and so he did. He heard a thunk of the boy’s skull bouncing off the ground and he turned to pull out of the grapple.
The beatings he had taken from his father, the grapples, being choked unconscious. Had prepared him for fighting little bitches who didn’t know what a fight was. It wasn’t gay porn with rabbit punch fists flying.
Blood was running down his face and the pain started to hit him as the threats had been eliminated. Only then did he remember to breathe. Taking breathes as Vicky came up to him with tissues and took a hold of his nose.
“Owww owww owww what the fuck my nose could be broken.” He said to Vicky as she pulled his head up and back.
“It’s ok Carl. It’s done.” Matt tried to look to see who Vicky was talking to. It was a boy taller than his 5’9” by more than a small margin. The boy eyed him bored and annoyed before speaking. “What happened here?” An unoriginal line but one Matt couldn’t be a smart aleck about. “Well you see there was an outbreak of tripping and we all tripped over my dick. It happens.” Matt was about to laugh when Vicky seemed to pull up while still gripping his nose causing Matt no small amount of pain which he audibly evidenced.
Vicky spoke in a tone he wasn’t expecting. As if she was accustomed to issuing orders. “Keep Iris away from the hall till we sanitize the site. We have blood from at least three people contaminating the site. And have Jake bring me a spare jacket and shirt for this moron.”
Carl seemed to acknowledge her orders and seemed to blink away. Maybe the punch hit harder than he expected. He had no time to wonder as Vick took her hand away from his and pushed him against the lockers. With ease he had not been expecting from her form and stature.
Before he could respond Vicky licked his blood covered chin and then his lips and spoke to him. “Focus on me you little blood bag.” Her tone had an annoyed yet feminine sneer.
“Look into my eyes. Look at me. You belong to me. You are just another food source in a collection of food sources.” Her eyes were a beautiful hazel Matt thought. Almost green. Pretty like jewels in some old treasure collections. The eyes he could get lost in before kissing her. Finally Vicky was just a slight and petite brunette and he thought she was beautiful.
She would make a hell of a girlfriend. Some cute thing he could see laying on the beach in Florida on their sides laughing and smiling before trading light kisses while hands wandered innocently. Before his mind could drift further he felt her lips on his. It took him a second to mentally grasp the kiss but his arms were around her back as her hands were at his sides. His eyes reflexively closed as he saw hers close.
It was ineffable to Matt. Beyond words, what was happening. The kiss, the moments beforehand. The way his brain tickled with electricity and gentle warmth. He had never had a kiss like this and he had traded more than a few kisses with at least a few girls.
The kiss was like a warm bath with his consciousness slipping beneath the surface. Their lips only parted to try new angles and approaches as Matt struggled to take in breath. It was a moment he could have stayed trapped in for….he didn’t know. But a curt throat clearing by another girl pulled them out of the moment.
The girl was taller than Vicky. Blonde. With slight curves. Vicky addressed her bewildered and gobsmacked, and perhaps a bit embarrassed. “Tina?”

David agreed to organise another search party in the following week, and another in the week after that. It comforted Lee to know he was at least doing something to look out for her, even if she wasn't here to realise it. If he couldn't have Clementine back, something he hated the very thought of, he needed to honour her. Her promises, her legacy, her meaning to him could not be forgotten — and neither could she.
They'd been out looking for hours. Since they set off at first light, the sun had circled in the sky and come back down once again, painting the already orange gates with a golden hue. It was tiresome and their feet ached with the aftermath of walking for miles on end, but it came with the satisfaction of knowing a bed was waiting for them back at the base. Though, he still felt a part of him missing. In a way it was almost like he'd earned the right to have found her, how after all this patience and all this time, shouldn't he be entitled to that payoff now? He walked along with his small group back into the gates, down-trodden. How was he to continue deceiving himself of hope when for all he knew, it was hopeless? That was something he berated himself for even thinking. She had to be out there somewhere, of course she was.
"Open the gates," he called to the person on watch. The large wall of rust and metal creaked, revealing their sanctuary. AJ would be in the nursery, probably colouring wildly on a paper, anticipating just as much as Lee was for when they could retire to their home of the living quarters for a good night's rest.
Ava rushed out of the gate towards Lee in a hurry, not slowing down for a second. "Lee!"
"Hey, Ava. What's-"
"She's back."
He opened his mouth, to exclaim with delight, to ask where she was, maybe to burst into tears — everything, every sound and colour, seemed to jump into existence all of a sudden. His legs weren't worn down with fatigue any longer, and they called for him to start running. Where to, he didn't know, but he needed to see where she was. That's when he heard her voice again, something he realised was a greater privilege than he ever remembered, and stopped in his tracks.
"Lee." Clementine appeared behind Ava, leaning out to look at him. She looked at him with her eyes wide, her mouth that opened in shock turning into a wide grin. She ran towards him and enveloped him in a hug.
"You're back! You're okay, sweetpea!" He said, the words sounding imaginary even to him. "I missed you, Clem. I was so worried about what happened while you were gone. You- you've grown a bit taller." He could hardly believe his eyes, but they didn't lie or show any falsities: just, for once, the light in his reality. Ava smiled at the two of them, crossing her arms comfortably.
Clementine laughed, pricks of teardrops forming in the corners of her eyes. "I tried to get back to you so many times. I- There was so much going on. I didn't know what to do, I-" She hugged him again, burying her head in his shirt to mask her tears. "They said AJ's okay. He's going to be okay, Lee. He'll live." Her voice was muffled and shaky but pitched with glee, with relief and with joy. It appeared she was in just as much disbelief as well.
"I know, Clem. He's better now. They helped him."
"About time," she said quietly, though she smiled.
"Let's go inside the gates, come on. How did you get here? Did you have any help?" he asked, a million thoughts swimming through his mind.
She nodded. “I found people who wanted to help. Lots of people. The ones I came here with were put into quarantine for bites — they only let me out here because they knew you were looking for me.” Then she stopped in her tracks, both taking the time to survey the surroundings and glance at Lee. “You never stopped?”
“Never.”
Clementine grinned up at him. "I knew you wouldn't." Her smile then faded, but the glimmer in her eyes remained: whatever she was troubled by, she seemed to hold onto some hope, or at least she did now that Lee was there. "Lee, I have to talk to you."
"What's going on? Is something wrong?" He watched for her reaction cautiously. When she didn't move, he asked again. "Are you in danger?"
She shook her head and began walking further away, slowly down the unfamiliar streets of New Richmond. "Not here. We need to go somewhere quiet."
Something in Lee felt disturbed again. It should all be over by now, with Clementine reunited with him and AJ better than ever. By all means, they shouldn't have any more problems to deal with. Sure it was unrealistic, but hadn't they earned the right? It was like danger was hanging over his shoulder, eyeing his every move and ready to step in.
"Let's go to the nursery, okay? No-one should be around to hear us around now, and besides, you should see him." He placed his hand on Clementine's shoulder, kneeling down to her level. "He’s really missed you, you know."
"He- he did?" She whispered. The smile on her face revealed she had no doubt he would feel otherwise, but just hearing this was like the first melodic tune after a lifetime of silence.
He nodded.
She rubbed hastily at her eyes again. "Take me to him, please."
...
She sniffled, masking the tears she was choking back as she looked down upon a sleeping AJ inside a crib. "I never would've thought...I mean, even you, I thought we might never get to see each-other again. But I was always so scared for AJ. I knew you could handle things, but he was- he's so little, Lee. I didn't know if he could take much more." The drops cascaded down her face, and she turned her head sharply towards the ceiling to stop them from falling. She breathed in deeply and looked back at the toddler one more time. "My little goofball."
"He was tough."
"That's for sure."
"Lingard helped us out."
Her head propped up again and she wore an intense expression. "He did?"
"Of course he did. He found more antibiotics, and he's going to be taking them for a few more weeks, and..." He stopped himself when he noticed her silence. It wasn't unlike her, but this was a different kind, the kind that silences even those outside of it. "I know you have your issues with what happened, Clem, and so do I — but he really did help. AJ is better now."
She shifted uncomfortably.
"Lingard is a good man," Lee continued.
"I'm not saying he wasn't. But Lee," she said, eyes darting to each side in turn. "We cannot trust them."
He looked confused. "What?" Just as he had begun to fully trust them, maybe more than he ever had in the time he had been with them, it came crashing down like it had before on that night of the plan. He wasn’t sure what to think anymore.
Clementine straightened herself up, preparing herself to explain. "I didn't leave for no reason, and it wasn't by choice. Joan forced me to leave."
"Joan forced you? Clem, are you sure-"
"I wouldn't lie to you, Lee!" she defended.
He held up his arms to ease her. "I know that. I'm just saying that if Joan wanted you gone then how come she's allowing you to walk free now?"
"I haven't seen Joan yet, and I don't think she knows I'm here, but I'm betting she's going to have something up her sleeve for when she finds out." Clementine rolled her eyes at the thought of the woman leading communications, being one of two council leaders she wasn't afraid to show her distaste for. "There's a lot that happened while I was gone. I didn't come here all by myself, for starters. I came with a group."
"Where are they?"
"They're getting quarantined somewhere, but I don't know where it is. I found them in a town called Prescott, and things got a little complicated along the way."
Lee had questions upon questions inside his head. "How so? I thought Prescott was a good town; they helped us out with supplies just a few days ago. Are you in trouble with them?"
She looked him directly in the eye, lowering her voice again. "No, Lee. They're in trouble with us. Prescott was raided by the New Frontier and burnt the place to the ground — one of the men I'm with, Javi, had his niece murdered, and we have a woman shot in the stomach. That's why I told them to come back here, to get her medical help."
At last, something at least seemed to ring a bell. "Javi and Kate?" He'd heard those names before. "They're-"
"David's brother and wife. We all met outside the gates." She nodded, a bitterness taking over her countenance. "I thought with his family in a state like this, he wouldn't turn us away. I still haven't forgotten about what he tried to do before I left. Besides, I came back because I knew that if you were still out there, you needed to know the truth about the others."
"Others?"
"I don't trust anyone in the New Frontier except you, Lee. The men who attacked Prescott are up to something, and we need to figure out what's going on."
"Slow down, Clem. I don't doubt you, I think something is going on, but not everyone might be involved. Ava and Paul have always looked out for us. Even David-"
"You think you can trust David? He's the last person I want to be around. I'm sure he's got something to do with all of this. We could've lost AJ forever because of him."
Lee rested his back against the wall in defeat. "Clem, this is a lot to take in."
She nodded, but still looked impatient. "I don't want to play it safe anymore, Lee. We have AJ safe and sound, we can leave right now."
"If you're right about people working against us in the New Frontier, then they'll spot us running off a mile away. I’m gonna take us to your group, okay? I need to talk with them."

I wrote mini reviews of each arc here, but because there are so damn many arcs, this ended up being a wall of text, despite me trying to keep them short. Feel free to skim or read only what interests you!
--
The episodic nature of Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla means that its narrative is split into chunks. These chunks take place across the many shires of medieval England and vary in terms of length, depth and, well, pointlessness. I thought ranking them would be a fun exercise — a competition of story arcs, all vying for best Viking mini-narrative.
It goes without saying, but I’m about to spoil the whole damn game, so read at your own risk.
--
21. Wincestre
Wincestre is just another Lunden or Jorvik, accept with more Jesus, more King Aelfred and way less… anything worthwhile. This one was just a total nothing-burger of an experience. The fact that it comes so late in the narrative really hurts it, too, because by now you’ve experienced arcs that are a similar traditional Assassin’s Creed city-style that at least aren’t this bad. Aelfred’s turning on Eivor at the end also didn’t feel coherent, convincing or warranted to me. Big miss.
20. Lunden
The smaller, denser cities with multiple targets to track down and ‘social stealth’ options are certainly here to attempt to replicate the traditional AC experience, but Lunden fails to do so meaningfully, and even gets a huge points deduction for being misleading.
The arc is set up to feature twists with Stowe and Ercke (is one a traitor? Will your romancing of Stowe make things complicated?), but after their initial scenes they’re mitigated to what I would hardly even call side characters as Eivor unveils three randos as Order members, kills them and then leaves town. At least there was a cool boss sequence on the river?
19. Snotinghamscire
This arc sees you reunite with Hemmingr Jarl, his son Villi and his compatriot, Trygve. Eivor has an existing relationship with these characters, but the player doesn’t. As a result, nothing that happens with them lands meaningfully.
After Hemmingr passes, this arc boils down to running dull errands to prepare for the burial ceremony. Eivor chooses whether Villi or Trygve will succeed Hemmingr in the end, but the decision is very clear-cut and suggested to the player, lacking the nuance of the game’s other difficult decisions. This arc isn’t memorable, doesn’t concern the main quest, and feels like fluffy filler in the worst way.
18. Jorvik
Another version of the Lunden & Wincestre arcs, Jorvik is stronger than its competitors for presenting the Order members to your face before you deduce who they are. There was nothing shocking about their reveals, but each provided an interesting set piece to navigate during assassinations.
Problematically, the arc sets itself up for Eivor to accuse a traitor, only for her decision to not matter at all. You never get to act on your accusation at Yuletide — the Order member interrupts and attacks the feast no matter who you accuse.
17. Cent
The Cent arc sees Eivor team with Basim to track Fulke. It feels important and part of the main story, but it’s all for naught in the end — you come face-to-face with Fulke in what seems like a meaningful story moment, only for her to run away. Your reward is finding out Sigurd had his arm cut off.
This arc earns some points for getting Fulke screen time and tiptoeing the tightrope of Eivor and Basim’s rocky relationship believably, but certainly can’t be called good. This is because once you pull back the veil, you realize you never advanced the plot and were running in circles for nothing the entire time. At least the other “filler” arcs were forthright about their (lack of) connection to the main story.
16. Jotunheim
This arc has a compelling story to it — Odin running from his fate and bending over backwards to flee from it is interesting, his broken relationship with Loki should be a strong point for the arc, and his moral gray areas (sleeping with a Jotunn, betraying Tyr) certainly make for a complex character’s development.
It has the ingredients of a strong arc, but I just couldn’t shake the why am I doing this feeling I had the entire time. Everything in between Odin’s big moments is a fetch quest and I just felt like I was wasting my life.
This one is weird because on paper it feels like there’s a lot of substance here, but ultimately, I felt nothing while playing it besides contempt for having drank the potion in Ravensthorpe again.
15. Lincolnscire
Heir to the throne Hunwald is exiled from Lincoln and reaches out to Ravensthorpe for help. Eivor tracks down his sickly and dying father and then must cast the deciding vote for whom the new Ealdorman will be after his death.
The game wastes your time with one of Hunwald’s competitors, Aelfgar, (who is a dork) and paints the bishop as evil pretty clearly (he turns out to be an Order member). I suppose this arc could hit hard for someone who accidently put an Order member in charge. For that and for Hunwald at least having a strong drive and personality, this arc earns some marks.
14. Essex
Eivor is brought in to repair a marriage by separating husband and wife naturally without a public divorce. She reunites Ealdorman Birstan with his former lover and sets up a fake public kidnapping to whisk away his wife, Estrid.
I think many would rate this arc far lower than I have here because it is pure side mission nonsense — but for me, this arc stands strong on the backs of convincing and fun characters in Birstan and Estrid, as well as the tangled web of relationships between the two of them, Birstan’s son, and Rollo, Estrid’s former lover.
13. Ledecestrescire
Ledecestre sees the intros of Ivarr, Ubba and Ceowulf. You team up with the sons of Ragnar to help put Ceowulf’s father on the throne in Mercia.
Ledecestrescire earns points for strong, realized characters in the Ragnarsons and Ceowulf, a believable conflict with the Mercian king, as well as the arc’s biggest moment with killing or sparing Leofrith in Tamworth.
12. Asgard
Asgard looks pretty and hits hard when you first arrive. I appreciate Ubi for creating places like Atlantis and Asgard to run around and explore in.
Unfortunately, both felt supremely empty. However, watching Odin fight tooth and nail to run from his fate was satisfying and Loki is aptly deceptive and frustrating. The Builder gave the arc a nice wrinkle, too and climaxed with a nice boss fight.
I spent too much time tracking down tears, but I think if you look at just the main missions here, this is a solid experience in an incredible environment.
11. East Anglia
In this arc, Eivor works alongside Oswald to fend off violent Dane aggressors and claim his leadership role.
Oswald is honorable and likeable — watching him teach the Danes in his court that bravery can reveal itself in more nuanced ways rather than physically was powerful, and giving Eivor the decision to allow Oswald to fight his own battles or fight for him solidified the feeling of fathering Oswald through this arc into manhood and leadership.
I bought into this arc because I felt the story was touching and meaningful and the cast was strong.
10. Vinland
Nothing really happens here aside from hunting down Gorm Kjotveson, but the arc earns major points for how refreshing it is.
I played it late in the story when I was feeling quite a bit of fatigue towards the game and everything about Vinland just landed for me, giving me new energy to actually enjoy what I was doing.
The new landscape is insanely gorgeous and fun to navigate. The stripping down of Eivor’s equipment essentially forces you to start from scratch — but it really makes the four stealth encounters stronger; you have to approach them differently due to being unarmed and unarmored.
The whole thing was a little bit of a reset button for the entire experience of Valhalla and it sorely needed it.
9. Suthsexe
Suthsexe is the meeting with Guthrum and the rising action leading up to defeating Fulke.
The arc is fun, feels impactful as well as meaningful and sees you reunite with all the old friends you’ve made up to this point. Fighting alongside Soma and others was a big positive for me. Storming Fulke’s fort at least included some different mechanics than many forts up to this point, so it felt fresh. Her boss fight in the darkness of the crypts was exceptional, as was her confession sequence.
This arc was mostly good, satisfying fun the whole way through, but didn’t include too much intrigue as the ones ranked above it did.
8. Rygjafylke
Look, I’ll be honest. I’m writing this particular paragraph after completing the game and this opening section was so long ago that I don’t have a great memory of it.
What I do know is that Valhalla opened strongly. I found it all pretty compelling. I remember it being atmospheric, believable and driven by strong characters like Sigurd, Varin, Haytham, Basim and Kyotve. I was bought-in very early and Rygjafylke really got the game off to a strong start.
7. Hamtunscire & Epilogue
Aelfred screen time is a good thing, and this arc earns marks for his badassery in the face of Guthrum, as well as his manipulation of the Dane army. Ally deaths in the battle at Chepeham give the arc meaningful stakes and ratchet up the tension. This arc is brief and straightforward — there’s not much story to it since it’s really just war throughout the whole thing.
Afterwards, Eivor tracks down the final member of the Order and confronts him in a touching sequence over some burnt bread in a small swampy town in the middle of nowhere. It’s a humble conclusion for Aelfred and the swirling epic that was AC: Valhalla.
6. Hordafylke
The return to Norway contains two things: Eivor & Sigurd finding closure with Sigurd’s father, and the two locating “Yggdrasil.”
I quite enjoyed the pit stop with Sigurd’s father, and the entire Yggdrasil sequence was incredibly interesting. It was a refreshing change of pace from what you’ve been doing for the past 100 hours and featured a nice boss fight at the end. No matter which ending you get, the conversation with Sigurd after the dust settles is impactful and weighty.
5. Oxenefordscire
Finally reunited with Sigurd, this is the arc we learn of his obsession with his ancestry and true nature. Eivor’s reaction of discomfort and distrust towards Sigurd’s change is honest and relatable and she must juggle relations between Sigurd and the Thane they are working to put in charge, Gaedric.
Negotiations with King Aelfred are complex and a late intervention from Fulke reveals her true allegiance to the Order and puts Sigurd in enemy hands.
This arc moves the plot along moreso than the last 400 hours you’ve been playing the game, while also establishing and reinterpreting Eivor’s relations with the cast in meaningful ways. It ratchets up the tension of the main quest and narrative, which up to this point had been lagging behind due to a breadth of shire arcs.
4. Glowecestrecire
I’m so surprised to see myself rank this so high — after the first third of the arc, I was considering putting it in dead last. I felt Gunnar’s fiancé’s unintelligible dialogue, the trick-or-treating, the druid encounter, and Eivor’s 400th drunken night of debauchery to be a disrespectful waste of my time this deep (over 80 hours) into the game.
But then the arc turned, with two solid stealth encounters and a stellar boss fight. Navigating the Aelfwood was a gorgeous thrill and the confrontation with Modran is atmospheric and a fantastically fresh take on the typical Valhalla boss or mini boss fight.
When I decided to focus-up on the story and let the Celtic and Welsh mythos shine, the arc became a terrestrial fever dream of satisfying magic, intrigue and character interactions.
3. Grantebridgescire
Eivor looks to ally with Soma, the leader of Grantebridge, but her town’s just been sacked from the inside by a traitor. After saving her three companions in the thick river bogs, you take back Grantebridge and then embark on an investigation to discover the rat.
Its the investigation that makes the whole arc. It has a slew of clues, nuance and red herrings to consider. One of its strengths is how open ended the investigation is — you can follow the quest markers, but talking to the town’s people and hunting down the yellow-painted ship is up to you (at least I think, I played on the most ‘difficult’ exploration setting).
This arc earns big points because the investigation matters — you have to tell Soma to kill one of her closest friends and then watch her do it, living with your right or wrong decision.
2. Eurvicscire
Finally meeting the third of the famed Ragnarson’s, Eivor finds Halfdan a paranoid soul, waxing poetic about friendship and treason. The arc balances the two on a blade’s edge to tremendous effect.
Halfdan believes he has a traitor in his midst and the main culprit is his right-hand man, Faravid.
Faravid's dialogue is expertly written to feign allegiance to Halfdan, but never reveal too much of his true nature. Eivor’s wavering relationship and trust with him are complex and the Wolf-Kissed can lie to both him and Halfdan depending on dialogue choice. Every decision feels like it carries weight. It’s this ambiguity that makes the arc compelling and gives the decisions importance.
This arc could feel disconnected (it’s not part of the main plot and Halfdan doesn’t appear in the late game, no matter your decision) and thus appear as pointless fluff, but I won’t fault it for that. As a self-contained story, this was flat-out interesting and kept me in anticipation of the next reveal or twist. Imagery and foreshadowing, red-herrings, and great atmosphere all make for an engaging and compelling experience. I only wish every shire arc could’ve reached these heights.
1. Sciropscire
Sciropescire’s strengths come somewhat from the arcs that came before it, as it sees Eivor quickly reunited and working with Ivarr and Ceowulf. Your preexisting relationship with both gives this arc an advantage over others where it doesn’t have to establish too much all at once, as well as it starting off with you already having a personal connection of some sort with the main cast. Still, each set piece here is strong enough on its own –

1. Eivor & co. join to negotiate peace with King Rhodri. She can offer 600 silver to whomever she chooses to try and quell the peace talks. Each option is mired in obscurity, has obvious pros and cons, and plenty of uncertainty. It felt impactful, difficult and nuanced.
2. After peace talks go sour with Ivarr’s outburst, Eivor, Ivarr and Ceowulf sack a village under Rhodri’s control. It’s brutal and takes a long time to burn (on purpose!). You then fight a huge party of Rhodri’s men. The whole scene feels vile, over the top and harsh (on purpose!).
3. The twist is that Ivarr kills Ceowulf in cold blood to earn himself the opportunity to get his own revenge on Rhodri — only revealed after you sack Rhodri’s fort (after reaching peace with him). A brutal blood eagle from Ivarr and the game’s best boss fight ensue.

It’s close between the top 3, but this is the best arc in the game, for me.
For once, the game forces you to face the trail of bloodshed and destruction your ‘pacifying’ of England has left in your wake. Additionally, the ambiguous decision-making process in negotiating peace, the brutal village burning sequence, the tangled web of Ivarr’s relationships and motivations, the twists of the peaceful alliance and Rhodri’s fate, and finally, the Ivarr boss fight are just too good all in tandem to not take first place.
--
I’m conflicted looking back on these.
There’s many that feel even more empty than I remember them being now that I draft them as text. However, a surprising number of highly-rated arcs aren’t actually part of the main quest.
Ultimately, I’m left bewildered at the scale and scope of the epic that this game took me on. I was so fatigued by the end of it, but in hindsight so happy I completed it.

I was on the comic book website and in one of the past lower articles there was a post of a post from twitter suggested by beau we watch “Final Decision” as last minute homework. This was one of my favorite episodes! I thought I remembered it better, especially magneto’s expositions, but I was surprised/shocked that wolverines last lines to magneto, where direct quote from magneto in this episode. Easter egg or something deeper in meaning?
“Final decision”, “TNG- cause and effect”, “pryde of the X-men”. I think these are pointing to an apocalypse saga intro to season 2. Magneto is ready to destroy the earth. (Pryde of X-men), and we are loaded up for an epic sentinel battle (final destination), but Xavier will dye (cause and effect) setting off the ripple in time and the apocalypse saga. This is also weighed heavily on the fact that Magento leading the X-men ( beginning episodes of 97, and the apocalypse saga) are far more richediffferent story telling than Xavier leading the X-men against Magneto and his band of Mutants. We’ve also seen a brief clip of apocalypse in the intro, but no hint of Onslaught
*interesting side note: in the pryde of the X-men Magneto refers to himself and his band of mutants as terrorist. Not revolutionary fighters. Just made me think a little more about identity

With Cyno's second story quest incoming (it's still not time where I live), I've got all hyped up for Sumeru once again and felt the need to share my most heartfelt love for the region now that Fontaine's whole arc is over.
Sumeru is my favorite region and favorite story overall. The characters are so intricate, genuinely smart in so many different ways and the writers went all out to show us personalities with real depth and haven't missed one spot (except, maybe, for Dori but she's the exception, I would say). Tighnari, Collei, Cyno and then Alhaitham, Nahida, Kaveh but also Layla Faruzan and Wanderer, they all have such amazing and complex personalities, showing strong and weak sides alike, making them flawed and therefore beautiful.
I won't argue that characters like Neauvilette, Furina and Wriothesly are equally nuanced but it's thanks to the seeds they planted in Sumeru (get it?) that we managed to have such well developed personalities and I will argue that Sumeru is still undefeated regarding overall character depth.
With this said, Sumeru's story is just absurdly sad and touches on so many topics: racism, the place of art in a land of scientific knowledge, street smarts vs academic smarts and how to be both (or neither), the value of childhood and dreams, both in a metaphorical and physical sense, hive mind mentality (which is multiple times addressed all over the game), the cycle of life and death and men's relationship with nature (Withering and desertification). It touches and develops on so many topics and has done it in such a diluted way that I took no effort in taking it all in.
Granted, Sumeru has had a huge problem with pacing for its main story. Dialogues were too long (Nahida still undefeated in dialogue strings after almost a whole version update with no appearances since... I don't know? A long time) and sometimes the story just drifted to some side notes that could be left for some character story or just some mid version update. Thankfully, Fontaine solves much of this pacing problem and I'd argue it was already getting better by the time we received Sumeru characters' stories. I'd distrust anyone who hasn't shed at least one single tear at Tighnari's story quest. Just thinking about it breaks my heart. And what about Cyno's? And Dehya's? Or even Kaveh's hangout? We were shown so much of their personalities and the people around them and made us feel like we were in connection not only with their inner world but also with what was around them.
One more mention goes to the music. Gods, the music. As much as I enjoy the whole soundtrack of Genshin Impact, Sumeru's sonorities and instrumentation feel unique, refreshing and full of passion. Just the other day, I came by a post explaining how "For riddles, for wonders" mimics the pain of Nahida as she reached the end of the Sumeru story quest's arc and I just bawled, man. I can't help it. It's so rich in tunes, also due to the sheer monstrosity that is Sumeru's map, and they are just so great at telling tales just with music.
Last but not least, Sumeru is the only region that I cried for once I finished exploring it 100%. I'm sure there's still some buried treasures in some of those tombs and I can't help but go back there from time to time, but when I returned the last Oculus to the statue... I cried, man, I bawled. So many hours spent in that desert and now that it's over and I won't hear those tunes... I don't know, it feels so lonely. Fontaine just didn't have the same taste. It was much much easier to explore and the underwater sections were super calm and I enjoyed them greatly, but it's nothing like those puzzles in those dungeons with no lower level maps (thank god they added them, I'm not complaining one bit).
I just miss Sumeru and I cannot wait for it to be time and get myself ready to get back into the desert with Cyno and find out more about him. Three and a half more hours to go for me. Can't wait!

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F*nd* Baguette Bag - https://imgur.com/a/T9fpC9X £50
Beige Stsy Hoodie - Fits Men’s XS / Great condition / £12
LV Keepall - https://imgur.com/a/LRsm31S some weaageing as pictured / £35
Brbr*y SS - S / perfect condition / £18 (28" x 18.75")
White Crhrtt Prentis Fleece - M / great condition / £18 (28" x 22.5")
Cog Knit - Fits M / great condition / £25 (27" x 21.5")
LV Purse - https://imgur.com/a/oSi4Sjp some wear inside / £13
Teal Ptgna - Authentic! Missing inner tags hence lower price. Fits Women’s Size 8 / £18 / (23” x 16.5”)
Grey Stsy Fleece Crew - Authentic, also missing inner tags. Good condition. Fits Women’s 10-12 / £15 / (25” x 25.5”)
Stss x Ch*mp**n Hoodie - XS / Small hole under armpit / £ 10 (24.5" x 19.5")
Authentic Women's Stsy 1/4 Zip Fleece - Fits up to Size 12 / missing inner tags so selling cheap / £16 (23" x 24")
Brbrry Trench / Fits Women’s Size 10 / Some markings / £12 / (26” x 20”)
G**s* yellow LS - L/XL / perfect condition / £6 (29.25" x 22.5")
Vintage Blue YSL Crew - Fits Women’s 12-14 / Minor bobbling / £13 / (25” x 25”)
Plce Coach Jacket - S / great condition / £16 (25.5" X 20.5")
YSL Joggers - perfect condition / £18 (L41.5 Waist 30" but fits 30-34)

POV: I've been for a little more than 20 years with my hubby (Since we started dating). We have 3 kids, still in love with him, and still enjoy and love sex with him. He suffers anxiety/depression, me? I had years of low self-esteem. He's always supported me, cheered me up, told me that I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever met. For years I felt bad about myself, there was a time when I barely wanted to be naked and have sex. Now, since maybe 2 months ago, I had noticed my libido has been spiking A LOT. I feel horny every day, I even think about my husband or a sexual encounter with him and I get wet. I sent him random nudes at random moments during the day..What a lucky men uh? I feel bad, I don't feel like a weirdo or something, but I feel like if I were pushing him. His situation is not the ideal emotionally right now. For a week or so, I looked the opportunity to have sex with him, most of the times I got success, but this week, I tried twice, and I had no luck. I know he loves and likes me, it's simply he's going through something difficult. I've decided to lower the attempts, because I feel guilty of being selfish. Also, I don't know if this HSD is normal for my age, after many time feeling low and undesirable. I don't want to cheat, I just wanna have sex with my husband, and masturbation isn't appealing anymore for me. Have you gone through a similar situation?

CW: SA
Gradually over the past few years, I have had people I thought were good and trustworthy revealed as quite the opposite. 2 of my best friends were revealed to be lying about an abusive relationship they were in, instead confessing they were the abuser, and the other a straight up r*pist and cheater. Along with a few others also winding up cheating on their significant others (something I take very seriously, especially as it's happened to me repeatedly and I was also friends with both sides of the couple on all these circumstances)
As making new connections grows more difficult getting older and my most cherished friends revealing unforgivable true colours, I am so fucking sick and tired of it and I dont know what to do other than get myself checked by a witch doctor for some sort of curse. Is this just more common than id like to accept? Does the fact they have all been men (as am I) mean anything? I haven't even brought myself to tears over the latest (who also happened to be the closest) and I'm worried I'm past same reactions.
Would therapy even do anything? Do I just lower my standards and bring them back into my life? Or do I just write things like this more often?
Fuck knows. Advice welcome

It was a mundane summer afternoon in 2002, the fan was in full swing but barely managing to dissuade the heat in a small TRT quarter of ACC Jhinkpani. We’d just wrapped the mat that four of us, we three sisters and mom would roll on in afternoons enjoying our dose of k serials and some of us falling asleep midway. There was our regular mama sparrow flying in and out through the window as she took care of her nest which housed her tiny babies. She built the nest with small twigs from our garden at a peculiar place, it was in a cavity that was formed due to a hole made in lower ceiling to put the fan. This was a regular affair at our house with small twigs strewn around the house and my mom sweeping them every day at twilight. That evening we heard a light crackling sound & a thump only to find a tiny little sparrow getting hit by the fan and falling in the middle of our living cum bedroom. The sight made our hearts melt as the baby sparrow lay there wounded & helpless twitching and twirling in pain, not able to find her mother around and in a far more lit area than the cavity where she spent the initial days of her life. I was too quick to pick it up to help her but not knowing what to do. She’d a bruise above her tiny feet which was bleeding. Then as a family we decided to provide first aid by applying turmeric paste, an antiseptic ingredient found in all Indian kitchens. And that’s how Piki made an entry in our family of six, mom, dad, grandma and we three sisters. And now we're seven. She quickly became the apple of our eyes. She recovered within a couple of days, and we were learning the tricks to feed her cooked rice by teaching her to open her cute mouth adequately. Her fav spot was to hop on my dad’s green lungi, a sarong sort of clothe item that men in South India would tie around their waist and let loose till the ankle. We’d teach her to fly by throwing her over to one another in a very small distance, enough for her to flutter her wings and making sure we catch her in time. She became our muse in a very short span. Everyone loved her to bits. We created a small nest for her to sleep in in a shoe box with grass properly placed to cushion her and a hole in the box for her to breathe. At night I’d place her in the box & cover her with the box lid to secure her. Her abode was placed just below my dad’s bicycle, a secluded & cozy area, not be to be disturbed by anyone in the morning. We also employed her to irritate my granny, we’d place her on her shoulder & she’d freak out. Her droppings were all over the house, on the bed, on dad’s lungi & of course our hands. But her cuteness more than compensated for this hassle, more so a little discomfort. However, our little companion could stay with us for a short stint of 25 days only, as one morning we didn’t find her in her nest, rather her feathers were strewn around it and we realized the dreadful end to her life, that night I forgot to place the lid over her nest & she became prey to a cat that would hog at our place in odd times. It’s been more than 20yrs since we found & lost Piki, but in the mundaneness of life she stills brings a smile and a little regret, what if I hadn’t forgotten to close the lid, what if the cat hadn’t turned up that day but also what if the baby sparrow didn’t get hurt & fall that day, what if the sparrow never laid her eggs in our ceiling cavity. There are ifs in both sides, so after all this while every time I feel sad for her loss but also glad that we could enjoy her.

I (38m, 6ft) lost 185 lbs few years back and look great in clothes now. Not comfortable taking my shirt off, though, at the beach or in front of a partner because I feel fluffy. For the last 2 years, I have been trying to get to low body fat so I can finally feel confident in my skin. I am finally at a place where I can see finally getting it done. But I am worried if I get that low, the little bit of loose skin on my lower belly will be prominent (it’s not noticeable now) and it will just make me never want to take my shirt off. So I'm thinking what’s the point? I am worried all that hard work to get that ripped will be in vain. Can any men share their experience with this? Thank you!

I have a dilemma, i want to cover my Vitamin E intake to lower prolactin and estrogen so i can boost my Testosterone. I have always done that by eating 20-25g of almonds daily because i didnt want to spend money on a supplement if i could get it naturally. Now i learned that almonds contain a shit ton of Oxalates which are bad for testosterone and overall health. What should i do? Should i still eat almonds or should i buy a Supplement, or is there any other food to get my Vitamin E?

All of these are applicable to both men and women.

1. Hormonal Assessment https://discord.com/channels/1169738819688468501/1179956664221311066:

• Androgens: Elevated levels can stimulate sebum production, leading to acne.
  
• Estrogens (particularly Estradiol) and Progesterone: Imbalances can affect skin health.
  
• Hormone (LH) and Follicle-Stimulating Hormone (FSH): Important for understanding overall hormonal balance.
  
• Cortisol
  

1. Nutritional Status https://discord.com/channels/1169738819688468501/1179948530878648430:

• Vitamin D: Deficiency can impact skin health.
  
• Vitamin A: Essential for skin repair and maintenance.
  
• Serum Iron, Ferritin
  
• Zinc: Low levels can exacerbate acne.
  
• Selenium
  
• B12
  
• Magnesium
  

1. Blood Sugar and Insulin Sensitivity https://discord.com/channels/1169738819688468501/1179956411858427954:

• Fasting Blood Sugar: To check for glucose levels.
  
• HbA1c: Provides an average of your blood sugar levels over the past 2-3 months.
  
• Fasting Insulin: High levels can influence androgen production and are linked to acne.
  
• Fasting IGF-1: Implicated in stimulating sebaceous gland activity and increasing sebum production, which are key factors in acne development.
  
• Lipids
  

1. Inflammation Markers https://discord.com/channels/1169738819688468501/1179979315622973490:

• C-Reactive Protein (CRP): Elevated CRP can indicate systemic inflammation.
  
• Erythrocyte Sedimentation Rate (ESR): Another marker for inflammation.
  

1. Liver Function Tests https://discord.com/channels/1169738819688468501/1179964185203974204:

• Alanine Aminotransferase (ALT) and Aspartate Aminotransferase (AST), ALP: Liver health can influence hormonal balance and detoxification.
  
• Bilirubin: High levels might indicate liver dysfunction.
  

1. Thyroid Function Tests https://discord.com/channels/1169738819688468501/1179956298041807009:

• TSH, Free T3, Free T4: Thyroid imbalances can affect skin health.

1. Gut Health https://discord.com/channels/1169738819688468501/1179978160717172776 https://discord.com/channels/1169738819688468501/1179948878267678832:

• Stool tests:
  
  • Fecal occult blood test
  • Stool pH test
  • Comprehensive stool analysis
  • Gut microbiome tests
• Intestinal Permeability Tests
  
• Celiac disease tests (blood)
  
• Urine tests:
  
  • Organic acids test
  • Intestinal permeability (leaky gut) tests
• Endoscopy and colonoscopy
  
• Hydrogen and methane breath tests: These tests can diagnose SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth), which has been linked to increased inflammation and may contribute to acne.
  

1. Food/General Sensitivity/Allergy Tests - although elimination of that food is key to determining if you have an intolerance#"Consumption - Food Intolerances (allergens and/or sensitivities)":

• IgE tests (allergies) - blood and skin prick
  
• IgG tests (sensitivies, controversial)
  

Join the discord here:
https://discord.com/invite/JJREjUhgc9
Blog:
https://acnehelp.space/

Part 1
I ended up buying a house at the edge of this town.... before i knew all the bullshit that was goin' on around here. Got bored and went down to the local sheriff Jack and asked about an opening, Didn't even fill out an application, got the job on the spot. For the first few months it was the usual, speeding tickets, drunk and disorderly, normal shit right? Well... let the fuckery commence....
I had been a deputy for 7 months when one of the local farmers called in and reported he had some animals killed last night and wanted someone to come out to his house. John Nixon was a 60 year old farmer who lived by himself. His wife passed away years ago, but he never remarried and they never had kids. We met one day at the local tackle shop. Me being new in town, he took me to some of the good fishin' spots. The man was a huge military history buff and would always ask about my time in. I thought I knew him personally, so i took the call.
As I rolled up to the gate on his property, I saw John standing at the gate with a shotgun. " Hey john, can I ask why you are standing there with that cannon in your hands?" No response, he just stared at me. "John! put that damn shotgun down!!" I yelled. Its like he snapped to out of a trance. "Mason, i need you to come round the back side of the house to the barn, now!" he snapped.
"OK, OK, let me get outta the car and grab some gear." I said opening the car door. While i was grabbing my gear, John was standing there with his eyes scanning the tree line. "Come on mason! you need to see this!" He said heading towards the back. I closed the trunk and started walking over in his direction.
"So what the hell is going on that's got you walking around here with that damn bazooka?" No response, he just keeps walking and scanning the tree line. We finally got to the back of his house where the barn is. It looked like a horror movie in that pen.
"What the fuck happened here!?!" I said covering my mouth. There were pieces of chickens and goats everywhere, a few pigs looked like they had been filleted. "Its back mason, after all these years" John mumbled. "John what the hell are you talking about? what did this?" I asked.
John took his eyes off the tree line and looked me dead in the face. "Your not from here so you dont know." "Know what man? what are you saying?" I asked getting annoyed now. "Years ago this same thing happened to a few guys I know. All of their livestock had been killed. Not killed and eatin', just killed. It got people 'round here up in arms. Well, a few of us got together and decieded we were gonna look for whatever did it" he said. "What the hell are you telling me john?" I interrupted. "There were four of us. We were young, thought we were bullet proof. We went out into the woods one morning, determined to find the damn thing that had been killing our animals.
Tommy was the first to say something. "Hey, did you guys hear that?". The rest of us didnt hear a thing, so we kept moving. We got about three miles deep into the old pine forest at the edge of town. Will was the next to say something, "WHAT THE FUCK?!" he yelled out while looking down at the mud. We ran over to where he was standing to find him wide eyed. "I dont know what the actual fuck did this, but we..we need to go and I mean right fucking now!!!" he said pointing. This track was huge, at least 14 inches long with huge claws. Gerald spoke up "Let's fuckin' go guys!!".
We started back tracking out of the area, when we were stopped cold in our tracks, we all heard it this time. It was coming from everywhere and nowhere at the same damn time. A sickening, shrieking laugh was coming from all around us. We panicked and starting runnin'. As soon as we did that, whatever was making that noise centered as if right behind us, and it was coming fast, ungodly fast" John said eyeing the remains of a chicken that was torn apart.
"We were about a mile from the trucks when I heard a thud and a scream, when i looked back Gerald wasn't there. Will and tommy were right behind me, terror all over their faces. Tommy pulled his pistol and started shooting backwards. Only one shot rang out before something tackled him and Will. I stopped, raising my rifle, but they had already been torn apart. It was seconds, and they were in shreds" John said.
"Mason, what i saw standing over their shredded bodies has haunted me since then. The fucking thing was nine feet tall, shaped like a man, but not. Its skin, or or scales was a mixture of black and grey and it looked slimy. It looked like a damn bodybuilder with hugh claw like hands. Its head was massive, with what looked like horns coming from the jaw to around the chin. Its eyes, glowed bright green in the middle of the fucking day, and it had a mouth full of fucked up jagged teeth." He said lowering his head.
"I jus.. just stood there, waitng for my turn. This thing paced back and fourth, staring at me, with this creepy damn smile. It looked down at Will and Tommy, then it looked back up at me. My heart almost stopped when it pointed and shook its head at me. It started making that shrieking laugh as it grabbed what was left of my friends in each giant claw and walked off into the woods, still fucking laughing. I fell to my knees as it vanished into the trees."
I stood there, thinking he lost his damn mind. John had stopped talking, he had this way off look in his eyes. "John..., john.., JOHN!!" his eyes snapped back to mine. "So what are you telling me? A nine foot creature with claws killed your friends and animals?!" I half mocked. "Yea.... thats what i'm telling you. Its back for me, i know it." "What makes you think it was this thing you say killed your friends? It could have been coyotes" I asked " I know mason, i heard that same horrible shrieking laugh in the woods behind the barn last night."
Now I’ve heard some real bullshit in my time, especially during my time in the contracting field... But this was the most out there shit I had ever heard.
"Alright, alright... let's just take a big ass step backwards. I need to wrap my head around all of this." I said takin a deep breath. John laid the shotgun down to his side. "I'm telling you the truth mason. i'm too old and tired to lie about shit" he said shrugging. I looked deep into this man’s eyes. When I did, I saw something that told me this was the absolute truth as he knew it. " You haven’t given me any reason to doubt you... but fuck man... this is hard to swallow. I need proof John, that's the way this works." A look of frustration washed over his weathered face.
"Proof?! you want proof huh? follow me" John groaned.
He started walking towards the tress behind the barn. As we got closer to the trees, I started to smell rusty copper. Blood I thought out loud. John raised his shotgun as we walked closer. That damn gun had to be illegal, but this wasn’t the time for that. Him raising that gun made me a lil' uneasy, so I pulled my Glock 9mm out and flipped the safety off.
John owned about 90 acres, most of it unkept. A lot of the land was behind the barn which butted up to a state forest. We took about 12 steps into the wood line when the smell of death hit me like a brick. "I'm taking you to where I heard the noise coming from last night... your PROOF is out there Mason" He said with a slight edge to it.
We walked almost a hundred yards into the woods when john stopped in front of a tree. It looked twisted and warped all the way to its top. I stepped around John and saw huge claw marks cut deep all the way around the base of the tree, it's hard to even call it that. "What the hell is this?" I said looking up. "This is a marker, it's territory starts here" John replied. I looked at john like he was crazy, which at this point I thought he was. "This thing travels throughout these woods. I've found five more of these trees in our town" he said putting a hand on the tree.
"This isn’t telling me anything John, just that you've got a weird ass tree on your property" I said back to him. "Do you hear that?" So we could move this mess forward, I stopped talking and just listened. I hadn't noticed that during our walk into the woods it had got quiet, and I mean not one sound. " What the hell? where did all the animals go?" I asked looking around. "They're scared mason... you should be too. Let's get back to the house."
We turned and started making our way out of the woods. We were damn near the tree line when I heard a snap. I turned around, gun raised to see a black streak dart back deeper into the woods. "What the fuck was that?!" All John said was "we need to leave, now!" We turned and started sprinting the rest of the way out of the woods. I was surprised at how fast john was for an old man. We got all the way back to my patrol car. "I don't know what that was, but I don't think you should stay here tonight John. Pack some stuff and come to my place" I said pointing my gun at the trees. John just let out a sigh as if frustrated and defeated.
"You weren't listenin'. The pine forest, these trees, it’s all connected. I’m talkin’ bout before this area was even inhabited by native peoples. This fucking thing has been around for a very long time. I have been looking into this since that day, I had to find out what it was and if it can be killed" he tried to explain. The whole time john was talking I had my eyes and weapon pointed at the trees. " You can put that down mason, it just wanted you to know it's here" He said.
"John, I to need process this shit. I've never seen or heard anything like this and to be straight with you, I’m at a loss right now" I said opening the trunk. "I get it, I get it. The sheriff jack was a deputy back then. When you see him... tell him I said the dark is here..." And with that, he just turned his back and walked back into his house not saying another word.
I got back in the car and sat there. Looking at the treeline. After a few minutes I went back to the station. I must've walked in with that universal what the fuck look on my face, because Cathy the clerk asked what was wrong with me. I told her I was fine and asked if she had seen the sheriff? "Yeah, he is in the gun cage. Are you sure you’re ok Mason?" She asked again.
"Yeah, I'm good, just need to talk to Jack." I started walking towards the back of the building, when Jack came around the corner. "Hey mason, what's up?" he says walking up to me. "I just got back from John's house." The look on his face completely changed. "He had a bunch of animals killed last night. It looked like a slaughterhouse. He told me to tell you the dark was back?" I told him noticing his reaction.
Jack stiffened up and not saying a word gestured for me to follow him towards the back security door. We headed towards the back and out the door. Jack had stopped to make sure the door was secure then pointed at his truck and said "get in."
After getting in he looked over "I need some coffee" then started the truck up and headed west out of the parking lot towards the coffee shop. He ordered a large black coffee with extra sugar then asked if I wanted one. "I'll take a small black, no sugar." We pulled out and headed east back past the station. We ended up driving towards the edge of the county. "What's going on and why are we heading way the hell out here?" I looked at jack and said.
Jack just took a long sip of his coffee then placed it back in the holder.
After a long breath "You want some answers about what happened at Johns' house... I’m sure he told you about a few other things about this town... well we're gonna go get you some answers" He said looking at a black sedan passing in the opposite direction. "Aight so, like you mason, I’m not from here either. I was a trooper in New York for a few years before I came down here. I resigned after a call to an old couple’s house" He said reaching for his cup. "My partner Jake and I responded to what was thought to be an animal attack. We were the first on the scene, having been a couple miles away lookin' for speeders.
When we rolled up an older woman came running over to the cruiser. She had a panicked look on her face and just kept repeating "they're dead, they're dead!!" We hopped out and sat her in the back of the car then asked what happened. "I...I... came over to talk to gloria and... and I saw the door open. I walked in yelling her and Alan’s name, but they didn't answer... I found them upstairs... it's horrible!!" She said sobbing. Jake and I drew our weapons and started making the move inside. Like the witness said the front door was open, so we moved in. It smelled like sulfur and blood when we entered. We started clearing rooms. The first floor was clear, so we made our way up the steps.
The smell was overpowering now. We cleared the bathroom, and the two smaller rooms were clear also. The door to the master bedroom was slightly opened. I motioned to Jake and we hit the door.... it looked like some movie shit!! I kid you not. Jake turned and went back into the hallway and threw up. I stepped into the room and... listen I had never seen anything like this before" Jack stammered out.
"These two people were in shreds on the bed, they're insides had been yanked out and thrown around the fucking room. After looking at the bodies I noticed these huge claw marks in the wall, I’m talking if Andre the giant had had a Krueger glove. I stepped back out of the room and radioed to dispatch that we needed more units. I walked back to the front door where Jake was standing hunched over looking out of it.
Parked outside were 3 black SUVs and a black sedan. I counted 11 men dressed in black tactical military gear, some with a type of rifle I had never seen before, but you could tell it was large caliber. The rest with SMG weapons. When i looked over towards the patrol car, one of the men had the door opened and was talking to the witness. He saw us and started our way. He was dressed in all black too and carried what looked like a desert eagle in a chest holster.
When he got closer I got a better look at him. He looked to be in his late 40's with salt and pepper colored hair and a big ass scar that ran down the right side of his face. He got about ten feet from the steps "We appreciate the assistance, but you are no longer needed" He said in deep voice. As he is saying this, one of the other guys escorts the witness out of our car and into the back of that sedan.
The guy started walking away from us "Who are you? and what the fuck is going on?" I yelled at him. He turned with a look on his face that you only see in movies then took a few steps towards us. "Your command has been informed and you are to leave now!" He said raising his hand up towards that holstered pistol. Jake looked at me and shook his head "fuck it, let's go, let them deal with that mess upstairs" he said still coughing then started heading towards the car. I followed him down the steps... looking this guy up and down, checking out the vehicles... for anything that might tell me who we were dealing with.
The only thing I saw was on the assholes uniform... there was a patch on his shoulder. It was an all-black diamond with a weird looking black M in the middle on it. The guy stared us down until we were in the car driving away. He had that pistol in his hand and the other men starting moving into the house. Jake and I didn’t say a word until the radio squawked and we were told to head back to the barracks.
When we got there, we were told to report to the troop commander’s office. Commander Thompson was sitting in his office along with a man in a nice 2-piece suit. The man in the suit stood there quietly while Thompson told us that we never responded to any call out to that farmhouse, and that this was the first and only time he would say it. With that, he dismissed us and and we walked out. The shit didn’t sit well with me, and I ended up resigning a few months later.
I came down here and then that shit in the woods happened. I was on the scene, I saw the claw marks. They looked just like the ones in New York, and the same damn trucks showed up with different personnel. I knew just to shut up and walk away, and after making that choice I have had a pretty good career here." he finished grabbing his cup out of the holder.
My brain was in overdrive. I was just about to completely question bomb jack when he said, "We're here." He pulled off onto this overgrown driveway and drove for about a quarter mile. We pulled up to an old two-story house that looked like it was in ruins... but the lights were on. "Where the hell are we?" I asked As the last word of that question left my mouth, the front door of the house opened... standing in the doorway was a old man, dressed in weathered black clothing. Jack leaned over to me "You wanted answers... well.... there they are."