Hello I am attending a ground breaking this Saturday, there are going to be some officers of flag rank and various public officials at this event and I just wanted to put out a picture so anyone could point out something wrong with placement of insignia especially the nametag. just want to make sure my uniform looks presentable. Input on things I could do to improve my class A coat would be greatly appreciated!

Not directly wedding related but it’s my FMIL and I really don’t know what to do anymore. She has hurt me so much when it comes to wedding planning stuff but I just ignore it and let it go. Things like her wanting us to spend no more than $5000 on our wedding and have it in someone’s backyard, or very clearly not liking my dress
I graduated with my doctorate this weekend and I invited his parents to come. About 2 weeks ago his parents sent me something off of our registry as a graduation present and I called them and thanked them the day I found out they ordered it for me. Fast forward to like a week ago I texted her saying how pretty the gift is as soon as I received it.
This weekend, I posted pictures of me and my fiance and me and my family at graduation. I did not get any pictures of me with his parents.
She “accidentally” texted me this morning saying “when she received the gift she sent me photos and wrote how pretty they were but no thank you. The has a post on fb with pics of graduation but none with me and your dad and no mention that we attended. I don’t mean to be passive aggressive. I’m just professing and figuring out what I do or say next”. Apparently she meant to send that to my FH and “accidentally” sent that to me.
I responded and reminded her that I thanked her when I found out she bought them and that I had no pictures of them from graduation. Her response was “I love you I’m just having feelings”
I really don’t even know what to do at this point. I texted my FH about it because we’re both at work but he hasn’t said anything yet.

I am in the midst of my first burnout since diagnosis, which means I am actually recognizing it for what it is for the first time.
Friday - Graduated college. So many people. I wore high heels. I stressed for hours about wearing them, was I going to trip, what if I couldn't walk on them. I practiced, but not on a gym floor, so I was worried. I had to coordinate with my parents to make sure they knew where to go and when. I left work 4 and a half hours early to make sure I wouldn't be late. I picked my kids up from school early. We had to drive almost an hour to where graduation was held. I had to look extremely presentable. I had to sit for hours and maintain conversations with strangers. I had to walk across the stage with hundreds of people looking at me. I did it, I survived. Then I had to take pictures. Luckily, I was able to dodge going out for dinner afterwards and instead got chicken nuggets from the McD's drive thru. It was a lot. Got home ready to go to bed but the Northern Lights were happening. Drove miles out into the country and got to see them. It was awesome. Didn't go to bed until 11, had no chill time.
Saturday - my mom wanted to go to the zoo, out to eat, shopping for mother's day. I am not a zoo fan, but you can't say no on mother's day right? So we loaded up in two cars (had four of my kids with me) and drove down about an hour to the zoo. I checked out a bit and made my husband figure out the money situation (we share money, but even figuring out paying for shit can stress me out). We ate pizza. We went shopping. It was all day. Then my mom wanted me to go to the bar with her. Went to the bar, got home about 11. Straight to bed.
Sunday - Husband wanted to go see his mom. She lives about an hour away. She was nice and cooked food for us, but I have a hard time with her cooking. We went and got some sides to bring. Went up there and she wanted to take the kids to the park after we ate. Kids wanted to go right then, of course. Went to the park and played on it with the kids. Park bench was a torture device so I sat on the ground and played in the dirt - relaxing. My mom had wanted to have a fire after we got home but I was able to say no to that. Got home from that after 5. Was able to rest for a bit.
I did all the driving, which was too much in retrospect. I should have not done so much so many days in a row. Monday I was exhausted. Looked forward to sleep all day, my daughter wanted to sleep with me. Can not tell her sweet face no. Honestly, typing this I just lost track of what day it is. Just exhausted. Everything is irritating me today.
Anyway - the point is, I have felt this way many times in my life. This is nothing actually, pretty mild compared to other times. But this is the first time I have known what it is. I can look back and recognize that I did too much, used up all of my energy and tolerance for the stimulus of life. Trying to focus at work is impossible right now. But now I know what to avoid in the future. To not drive myself so hard, to say no, to give myself permission to take a break.
How do you cope with burn out? What do you do to avoid it?

There have been an increasing number of juniors visiting this sub asking for advice about writing essays. Below are some tips and advice for making your essay stand out as excellent. Feel free to ask questions because I will answer every single question in the comments.
I know from experience that many of you are struggling to identify a good topic for your essay. Conventional wisdom says to start by brainstorming a list of potential topics, and chances are, you have already started a mental list of ideas. You might think you only have a few choices for topics, based on your activities or experiences, or essay examples you read, or the rough draft you already started (or worse, that GPT started...). I advise, however, that you put down your list of topics and back away from it. Forget that exists for a moment. Seriously - thinking about this initial list tethers you to certain ideas that might not actually be your best options.
Now you can begin brainstorming with a clean slate.
Start with thinking about what you want to show in your entire application, not just one essay. Every single component in your app has one purpose – to tell more about YOU. Filling out the rest of the application by rote and focusing solely on the essay is short-sighted and will leave so much potential untapped in your application.

It's About You. Tell Your Story - And Be The Protagonist

An admissions officer’s goal is to understand you fully, in the context of your background and the rest of the applicant pool. They will begin this with assessing your academic abilities and potential. Then they will evaluate how you will fit into the student body they’re trying to curate. All of this can be somewhat broad and diverse and touch on several institutional goals. But they will dig deep to find out what each applicant is like, what your core values and motivations are, what kind of student you will be, how you will contribute to the vibrant and intellectual campus community they’re building, etc.
Your goal with essay brainstorming is to ascertain how to powerfully tell your story in a manner that will fit these criteria. The entirety of your application (again, not just one essay) aims to showcase your abilities, qualifications, and uncommon attributes as a person in a positive way. Before you begin outlining or writing your application, you must determine what is unique about you that will stand out to an admissions panel. All students are truly unique. Not one other student has the same combination of life experiences, personality, passions, or goals as you do. Your job in your application is to frame your unique personal attributes in a positive and compelling way. How will you fit on campus? What personal qualities, strengths, core values, talents, or different perspectives do you bring to the table? What stories, deeper motivations/beliefs, or formative experiences can you use to illustrate all of this?
It is always helpful to start with some soul-searching or self-examination. You might not immediately know what you want to share about yourself. It’s not a simple task to decide how to summarize your whole life and being in a powerful and eloquent way on your application. Introspection prior to starting your application takes additional time and effort rather than jumping straight into your first draft. But it is also a valuable method to start writing a winning application that stands out from the stack.
You'll see the advice everywhere that all essay prompts are really about the same thing - you. The goal of each essay then is to showcase who you are, what matters to you, and how you think. I guarantee if you're on this sub enough, you'll hear the advice to "show, don't tell" when writing about yourself. But what does this mean really, and how do you do it well? How do you even get started on an essay that does this?

Introspection Questions

It’s often easiest to start thinking in terms of superlatives, especially those related to personal insights -- what are the most meaningful things about you, and what do you value the most? Here is a list of questions to help you brainstorm broadly before you narrow down your focus for writing:

• What are your interests?
  
• What sparks your curiosity?
  
• About what topics do you enjoy reading?
  
• With whom do you enjoy spending time? Who has impacted your life the most?
  
• Reflect upon “superlatives” in your life. What moments were most memorable, formative, enlightening, enjoyable, or valuable? What physical possessions, experiences, dreams, or lessons could make your superlatives list?
  
• Stop and think about what things, people, or circumstances in your life are really unique, fascinating, or outlandish. Are there any that really have a lot of "cultural flavor" (whatever your culture is)?
  

I have a free introspection worksheet with over 100 questions like this designed to help you find ideas worth exploring in your essays. You can find it on the A2C Discord or download it directly here.

Find Your Story And Arc

Think of a small anecdote or story from your life that you could share that serves as a microcosm of who you are and what is important to you. It will massively help you narrow this down and find a gem of a story if you first start by thinking about your application arc or theme. This is the one-phrase summary of your entire application. It could be "brilliant entrepreneur who started her own successful business" or "talented athlete who wants to study economics and finance as they pertain to sports", or even "avid baker whose hobby sparked an interest in chemistry". It doesn't have to be related to your intended major, but it can help your arc be stronger and clearer if it is.
Once you have an arc determined and a story to share, think about what you want that story to say about you. This is where it can help to think of this as something you would share on a date - what impression does it make about you to the reader? Once you know this, start showing, not telling this attribute of yourself through your story. For example, instead of saying that you're compassionate toward others, you show an example of a time you were compassionate, then elaborate on why, and what it means to you.

Essay Brainstorming Techniques

If you are having trouble finding a story, or simply have writer’s block once you have picked your topic, here are some ideas to get your juices flowing:

• Stream of consciousness writing -- Start writing whatever is in your head, and don’t stop for 30 minutes. You probably won’t use what you just wrote for your essay, but it will help you find a starting point.
  
• Journaling -- Answer the prompt as if you were writing in a journal. This will get you in the habit of writing about yourself and establish comfort with the concept. It will also take you to a new level of introspection and self-awareness.
  
• Twitter X style -- Write several rapid-fire responses to the prompt in 280 characters or less. Choose an idea from these responses to expound upon in your essay.
  
• Read each essay prompt, then go through your introspection worksheet responses and connect the stories and insights to one or more of the prompts. Some students like using color coding to visually see how their different ideas might work together.
  

Why Essays Matter

Here's the thing a lot of people don't realize about college admission: it's not an award for being the smartest, most accomplished, or most impressive. It's an invitation to join a community. Far too many students think that if they can just show that they're smart enough, they'll get in. Yale even says right on their admissions website that 75% of their applicants are academically qualified to succeed at Yale. But only ~4% are getting in. That should tell you that they're looking for more than just top tier test scores and grades. To be perfectly clear, you will need top tier grades and (optionally) test scores to show that you're qualified, and the vast majority of my students come to me with this part already in the bank. But what sets the admits apart? It's personal insight - sharing who you are, how you think, what matters to you, and how you engage community. You can't just say "/IAmVerySmart, please admit me," or even "I did a cool thing guys! Isn't that neat!" You need to go deeper and show them your core values, personal strengths, motivations, aspirations, character traits, foundational beliefs, personality, etc. And you need to do it in a charming, winsome way that makes them like you and want to invite you to join their community.
So how do I get students to do this? All of my students complete that introspection worksheet. We go through it and find the stories, examples, anecdotes, conversations, memories, relationships, and other things from their life that will help us craft a strong and personally insightful narrative. We also make lists of the values, strengths, and key personal qualities we want to showcase. Once we have some topics, outlines, abstracts, or rough drafts, we talk about which stories to tell where, how to tell them well, and what details to include to present the best they have to offer. Then we refine, edit, polish, and enhance over and over until the story sings, but more importantly shows their heart and soul. We also go through all the other application components to ensure consistency, quality, and distinctiveness.
Here's why this works so well: at most highly selective colleges there is a primary reader (or 2-3) who will review everything first and then present it to the admissions committee, who then votes on whether to admit you. That presentation typically goes one of three ways:

1. Total enthusiasm, energy, and excitement. They strongly advocate for admission and paint a clear picture of how you will contribute to their goals and community. Everyone in the room picks up on that energy and is leaning forward in their chairs, looking for reasons to admit you. This is quite rare, generally less than 5 out of every 100 applications, even among those which are "fully qualified." When you do this right, you show depth, meaning, and valuable personal insights so the reviewer is learning about who you are and how you might engage the community they're curating. You come alive off the page as a person, not just another file.
   
2. Business as usual. You're another great applicant in a pile of great applicants. They share a basic review of the facts, your profile, stats, strengths, weaknesses, etc. Maybe someone on the committee finds something they love, and they really push for admission. More likely, not and you get deferred/waitlisted even though there wasn't anything "wrong" with your application. They just didn't love you enough to commit.
   
3. "Here's a stack of 20 applications that I didn't find all that compelling, so we won't present them individually, but you guys are the committee and you make the decisions. So let me know if there are any you want to talk about." In this case, unless there's a letter of endorsement from an athletics coach or your last name matches several buildings on campus, you're probably not getting additional consideration, much less admission. They will regret to inform you.
   

Everything we're doing is designed to help them get to know themselves, present the best they have to offer, and land in that first group. Having top tier essays is the single best way to get there. Get started on brainstorming in the next few weeks so you'll have time to get a few essays completed over the summer.

"IF" is shot in 1.85:1, NOT "scope" (2.39:1).
Watch this movie at either listed locations depending on if you prefer better surround sound OR a completely filled screen with better visual quality.
Cineplex Cinemas Yonge-Dundas and VIP is selling tickets for the movie projected in their 2.39:1 AVX#7 "scope" auditorium, without laser projection. This means that the screen will NOT be filled up, the picture being projected will be a slightly more narrow rectangle with pillarboxing being present on both sides of the picture. There is no laser projection here, so the screen will be more dim with more faded/washed out colours. However, this auditorium does have overhead Dolby Atmos speakers, and the implementation and calibration performed here results in an extremely satisfying surround sound mix, and has been this way every time I've been.
Cineplex Cinemas Yorkdale is selling tickets for the movie projected in their 1.85:1 AVX#10 auditorium with Laser Projection! This means that the screen will be completely filled up for an immersive viewing experience, with a very bright picture and pronounced, vibrant colours being projected. However, the auditorium does not have the facilities to support Dolby Atmos, meaning you will have a "regular" theatre sound experience with no overhead surround sound effects coming from those dedicated speakers.
Now if you ask me personally, just this one time I would pick the non-Atmos auditorium at Yorkdale, as I will feel more immersed in the auditorium since the screen will be filled, and the picture being projected will be extremely vibrant and sharp. In my opinion, it will be worth sacrificing Dolby Atmos for the benefits of the screen design and the projector specifications.
However, if you are one to not care about pillarboxing and the visual quality of the projection, the overall sound at Yonge-Dundas will be far more satisfying by itself on every level, and may be worth the picture sacrifices to you.
Enjoy!

So our friendgroup was sort of a quadrat, but one kinda committed suicide back in year 10 so we just became a triplet.
My friend, let's call him Bradley bc it makes me giggle.
we've been friends since year 9, we're all at the end of year 12 now. We were really close right up untill he went to college with my other friend (i stayed in 6th form), and I accepted it like he's a bad texter so ofc we're not gunna be that close anymore since he never texts me back or calls first or something, but it's the way that he will publicly post himself talking with other people and going out everyday and the only time he will ever call me is if he's drunk or high and our other friend refuses to pick up. I text the other friend everyday, we call and go out regularly despite both of us being busy w other subjects, we communicate. He doesn't do that. Whenever he calls me I have to wonder if it's because he's in trouble and needs help. One time we went out together to meet these people we didn't really know, and they were smoking weed, I told him not to because I had to leave early and I couldn't take care of him and he smoked anyway so I just left since I thought it would be fine, but later I get calls and texts from his mum asking where he is and I hadn't seen him in 11 hours at that point so I start calling and texting everyone else, thinking he's dead or something idk (my friend died, I got a weird thought process).
He's a very socially deprived person, so I feel like when he went to college and wasn't bullied anymore, he became so obsessed with being popular and his social image. He was abit like that before but now he's just a total dick. He will make fun of girls and everytime I do something that's slightly cringe or I'm just having fun, he'll make me feel bad abit it and call me cringe or make fun of me. Whenever I call him to say i miss him and just wanna talk, he doesn't really pay attention or talk much, like I'm being boring or smthn but maybe that's just me overthinking.
He's always making it out to be like he's a victim too. Okay I might be petty, but in the end of year 10 we were meant to be working, and he struggled abit with talking so I decided to work with him (we were meant to be doing a work shop for year 7s), and I did all the work and presenting, so idk maybe he got bored and started bothering other groups, and he got told off by both me, the teacher, and my other friend so instead of coming back to sit by me and just help me, he sat at a table, sulked for half an hour with his head on his arms and then left. And later I go up to the office because I'm concerned about him and wanna check up on him and he's crying in there next to the teacher, the teacher forces me to apologise and I just forgive it and move on. Kinda petty but I'm still mad ok. Also when it was the summer holidays, and this was the same year our friend killed herself, he decides to cut off speaking to both me and our other friend, for absolutely no reason. He's still online on insta too. He's still posting his chats with this other random girl so we're obviously like wtf. He refuses to speak to us and so I'm obviously very very concerned and think he's about to kill himself of something (wack mindset but I was like 14), so I walk all the way over to his house twice (my friend was away in London at the time but was still on the phone with me checking up on him) and both times he's sat in his room, doesn't look at me, doesn't speak to me, and at one point he started crying (??) So I just patted him on the back and left after abit.
He used to be a really sweet kid, I think he just became so obsessed with being popular and having fun, he's day drinking now and constantly posting about getting high and drunk because he thinks it's "cool", and I responded to his story, all I said was like "Bradly pls", because it is quite embarassing and he blocked me on that account.
That's another thing too, if I say anything that even slightly hurts his feelings he gets mad and doesn't let go of it, but whenever he says things that genuinley hurt me, he refuses to apologise so I end up having to just left go of it. Like when I had horrible body issues and always wore a jacket, until I took it off one day in class bc it was hot and he called my arms sausages. He also had body image issues and disordered eating so idk if he was like projecting or something ??
But I feel like I've just had enough now, I haven't spoken to him in months, I'm speaking with a girl now and she's great, we're going on a date soon, I'm doing well in school with a proper plan for uni and I feel like I'm just at peace with my life, but I can't just leave him because he's my best friend and he was THERE, and i can't just let him throw his life away because hes too busy having fun to go into his lessons and study, but it's impossible to help him, we've all tried, but like I can't just ignore that or forget about him, I think I can forgive all of this if he changes but it's doubtful he'll just suddenly change soon so I just decided to cut him out of my life, but everytime I see something like him using the scarf I crocheted for him or the handwarmers I made, or our pictures on his wall it just makes me feel so guilty and sad because it makes me remember how we all were together, and I miss that so much and I don't know how to get it back. But idk.

The island of Tao (Koh Tao) is comprised of Triassic S-type plutons which can be seen at the surface in much of Thailand, while forming the entirety of the islands geology besides recent carbonate and quartz sand. While spending over a week on the island I couldn't help but take some pictures of notable finds. Here I present a potassium feldspar megacryst and the largest black tourmaline I found. Enjoy!

In this edition of “Odd Titanica”, we are going to dive into the sleazy, opportunistic world of show business. A world that comedian Fred Allen said of, “you can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly, and still have room for three caraway seeds and a producer’s heart”. Hyperbolic? Let’s take a look at Hollywood’s response to the Titanic disaster to see that there really is no business like show business.
Dorothy Gibson and the lost, first, film are well worn trivia by now. The traumatized actress rushed into production, her inability to process her trauma causing her mental breakdown, collapse, and retirement from acting immediately after the film was finished - it’s a perfect story to demonstrate the callousness of the film industry. But there is more to the story, and digging deeper shows us that “Saved” may have been the least sleazy project undertaken by the studios.
Dorothy’s account of the sinking and the suffering she endured filming “Saved from the Titanic” are predominantly found in two sources - The New York Dramatic Mirror and Moving Picture World. These were trade magazines, published weekly, and consisting solely of material related to the stage and screen business. These would be announcements of upcoming features, casting news, celebrity gossip, technical news - anything the movie star to the man sweeping the floor at the cinema needed to know. And they included ads … lots and lots of ads.
Immediately realizing that Titanic was not only a horrible tragedy but an incredible business opportunity, Moving Picture World got to work. As people stormed White Star Line offices, and raided newspaper carts for any drop of news regarding the sinking, Moving Picture World provided the latest in Titanic news; or perhaps we should say “Titanic” news.
The headlines of the April 27th issue may have screamed TITANIC, but as the public grabbed their copy and hurriedly flipped through the pages, they found that what they were actually given was ads. Those eye grabbing headlines were followed by much smaller print-
TITANIC EFFORTS... are being exerted by Champion to put before the exhibitors that will make them regular Champ Patrons! Get the following latest [releases] and you’ll be convinced!.
UNSINKABLE … is the reputation of Rep productions, but these two releases will sink into the minds of everyone who sees them and will remain there as worthy object lessons.
THE CRY OF THE CHILDREN …suggested by the poem of Elizabeth Barret Browning in 2 reels this Tuesday!
THE GREATEST MOTION PICTURE OF NATIONAL INTEREST - THE SINKING OF…. the big battleship. Remember the Maine!
THE DEATH SHIP...a sensational two reel drama of the sea containing one of the most thrilling dynamite explosions imaginable!
For all the slimy marketing tricks, flipping through the pages still has plenty of legitimate ads for real Titanic newsreels, movies, and a specific type of presentation known a Myriorama involving painting, music, and recitation. But, show business would strike again - the ads were legitimate, but what they were advertising was not. History has sort of forgotten the huge demand for Titanic media in the wake of the sinking, something that didn’t really exist. When cinema owners would order these “only surviving genuine negatives of the disaster” complete with lobby display package, they instead received-

our astonishment to find the Lusitania and Olympic, and one or two scratch films of ancient days posing as pictures of Titanic.

But they didn’t stop. Animated Weekly advertised that they were “the first to reach the wreck… chartered a tug from Cape Breton and rushed to the scene while the survivors were still in the water”. Cinemas began to promote footage of the sinking. Audiences wrote their disgust to Moving Picture World-

These representations are to the point of criminality … Take, for instance, the picture showing the Titanic with about a sixth of her forward length stuck into the iceberg. Everybody knows the collision did not occur in that manner!

They pointed to the following ad as an example - FIRST PICTURES OF THE TITANIC OCEAN DISASTER. The cinema owners responded by noting that they had misread, crammed in tiny letters were the words “sunk in” so that ad actually read FIRST PICTURES OF THE TITANIC sunk in OCEAN DISASTER. It was the customer's fault, they said, to be stupid enough to think anyone could have actually filmed the sinking.
Once this ruse was discovered, the studios shifted gears. The next step was to advertise film along with presentations by “A Lecturer who was on board”. When the audience realized the lecturer was not on Titanic and demanded a refund - the response from the managers was

Those signs didn’t say he was a survivor.

… and any attempt to charge him with the crime of fraud was absurd because, in his own words-

Of course I didn’t give him his money back. The sign didn’t misrepresent anything. West was on the Titanic, the sign didn’t say when he was.

…which was true. The lecturer, Eugene West, had visited Titanic while she was under construction at Belfast.
As for the movies themselves?

We said we had pictures. If people were foolish enough to think we meant moving pictures, that was their fault.

This particular cheated audience member was told if he wanted his money back, to go on the street and sing for it. Whether it was this, or something else, eventually the public snapped and began hauling out cinema managers and beating them in the streets. By May, the mayors of Boston and Memphis had banned the showing of any Titanic pictures - moving or still- within the city.
But, where was Dorothy in all this? Tucked in the very back of the magazine, after another newsreel ad,, we get to the celebrity sighting and gossip section. Ed Lux of the Rex Film Exchange was in town, Dan Markowitz of Fox Pictures was as well, Arthur Schmidt of the Victor Film Company was seen having a lovely spa at a Turkish Bath, Sam Gobel of the St Louis Motion Picture Company has been walking up and down 42nd street, we don’t know if Southern film maker Henry Wasserman is still here but he might be, Dorothy Gibson survived the sinking of the Titanic, and the Director of Selig Pictures took some actresses to Santa Catalina for a swim and a photoshoot and they had a great time.
By the following edition, on May 2nd, Moving Picture World was also able to provide its readers with the first stills from “Saved from the Titanic” and a feature on Dorothy. Along with this, tucked in the editorials, the magazine finally published a piece of truthful news about the Titanic disaster-

Senator William Alden Smith … declined to grant permission to have the cinematopgraph make a record of the sessions of the committee. “The sessions” he is quoted as saying…”are solemn affairs and must not be hippodromed or commercialized”. He is, however, falling into a serious error in judgement-

…they sniffed.

As a matter of right, the camera man ought to have been permitted. The day of the enfranchisement of the motion picture will surely come .. which will give equal rights to the cinematographer and the newspaper man.

Then, among the illegal false advertising and reports of public brawls at the cinema, they ended with-

The lesson of the Titanic disaster and all its incidents can be made far more impressive by pictures that move than by mere words in cold letters.

In this edition of “Odd Titanica”, we are going to dive into the sleazy, opportunistic world of show business. A world that comedian Fred Allen said of, “you can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly, and still have room for three caraway seeds and a producer’s heart”. Hyperbolic? Let’s take a look at Hollywood’s response to the Titanic disaster to see that there really is no business like show business.
Dorothy Gibson and the lost, first, film are well worn trivia by now. The traumatized actress rushed into production, her inability to process her trauma causing her mental breakdown, collapse, and retirement from acting immediately after the film was finished - it’s a perfect story to demonstrate the callousness of the film industry. But there is more to the story, and digging deeper shows us that “Saved” may have been the least sleazy project undertaken by the studios.
Dorothy’s account of the sinking and the suffering she endured filming “Saved from the Titanic” are predominantly found in two sources - The New York Dramatic Mirror and Moving Picture World. These were trade magazines, published weekly, and consisting solely of material related to the stage and screen business. These would be announcements of upcoming features, casting news, celebrity gossip, technical news - anything the movie star to the man sweeping the floor at the cinema needed to know. And they included ads … lots and lots of ads.
Immediately realizing that Titanic was not only a horrible tragedy but an incredible business opportunity, Moving Picture World got to work. As people stormed White Star Line offices, and raided newspaper carts for any drop of news regarding the sinking, Moving Picture World provided the latest in Titanic news; or perhaps we should say “Titanic” news.
The headlines of the April 27th issue may have screamed TITANIC, but as the public grabbed their copy and hurriedly flipped through the pages, they found that what they were actually given was ads. Those eye grabbing headlines were followed by much smaller print-
TITANIC EFFORTS are being exerted by Champion to put before the exhibitors that will make them regular Champ Patrons! Get the following latest [releases] and you’ll be convinced!.
UNSINKABLE … is the reputation of Rep productions, but these two releases will sink into the minds of everyone who sees them and will remain there as worthy object lessons.
THE CRY OF THE CHILDREN …suggested by the poem of Elizabeth Barret Browning in 2 reels this Tuesday!
** THE GREATEST MOTION PICTURE OF NATIONAL INTEREST - THE SINKING OF**…. the big battleship. Remember the Maine!
THE DEATH SHIP...a sensational two reel drama of the sea containing one of the most thrilling dynamite explosions imaginable!
For all the slimy marketing tricks, flipping through the pages still has plenty of legitimate ads for real Titanic newsreels, movies, and a specific type of presentation known a Myriorama involving painting, music, and recitation. But, show business would strike again - the ads were legitimate, but what they were advertising was not.
History has sort of forgotten the huge demand for Titanic media in the wake of the sinking, something that didn’t really exist. When cinema owners would order these “only surviving genuine negatives of the disaster” complete with lobby display package, they instead received-

our astonishment to find the Lusitania and Olympic, and one or two scratch films of ancient days posing as pictures of Titanic.

But they didn’t stop. Animated Weekly advertised that they were “the first to reach the wreck… chartered a tug from Cape Breton and rushed to the scene while the survivors were still in the water”. Cinemas began to promote footage of the sinking. Audiences wrote their disgust to Moving Picture World-

These representations are to the point of criminality … Take, for instance, the picture showing the Titanic with about a sixth of her forward length stuck into the iceberg. Everybody knows the collision did not occur in that manner!

They pointed to the following ad as an example - FIRST PICTURES OF THE TITANIC OCEAN DISASTER. The cinema owners responded by noting that they had misread, crammed in tiny letters were the words “sunk in” so that ad actually read FIRST PICTURES OF THE TITANIC sunk in OCEAN DISASTER. It was the customers fault, they said, to be stupid enough to think anyone could have actually filmed the sinking.
Once this ruse was discovered, the studios shifted gears. The next step was to advertise film along with presentations by “A Lecturer who was on board”. When the audience realized the lecturer was not on Titanic and demanded a refund - the response from the managers was

Those signs didn’t say he was a survivor.

… and any attempt to charge him with the crime of fraud was absurd because, in his own words-

Of course I didn’t give him his money back. The sign didn’t misrepresent anything. West was on the Titanic, the sign didn’t say when he was.

…which was true. The lecturer, Eugene West, had visited Titanic while she was under construction at Belfast.
As for the movies themselves?

We said we had pictures. If people were foolish enough to think we meant moving pictures, that was their fault.

This particular cheated audience member was told if he wanted his money back, to go on the street and sing for it. Whether it was this, or something else, eventually the public snapped and began hauling out cinema managers and beating them in the streets. By May, the mayors of Boston and Memphis had banned the showing of any Titanic pictures - moving or still- within the city.
But, where was Dorothy in all this? Tucked in the very back of the magazine, after another newsreel ad,, we get to the celebrity sighting and gossip section. Ed Lux of the Rex Film Exchange was in town, Dan Markowitz of Fox Pictures was as well, Arthur Schmidt of the Victor Film Company was seen having a lovely spa at a Turkish Bath, Sam Gobel of the St Louis Motion Picture Company has been walking up and down 42nd street, we don’t know if Southern film maker Henry Wasserman is still here but he might be, Dorothy Gibson survived the sinking of the Titanic, and the Director of Selig Pictures took some actresses to Santa Catalina for a swim and a photoshoot and they had a great time.
By the following edition, on May 2nd, Moving Picture World was also able to provide its readers with the first stills from “Saved from the Titanic” and a feature on Dorothy. Along with this, tucked in the editorials, the magazine finally published a piece of truthful news about the Titanic disaster-

Senator William Alden Smith … declined to grant permission to have the cinematopgraph make a record of the sessions of the committee. “The sessions” he is quoted as saying…”are solemn affairs and must not be hippodromed or commercialized”. He is, however, falling into a serious error in judgement-

…they sniffed.

As a matter of right, the camera man ought to have been permitted. The day of the enfranchisement of the motion picture will surely come .. which will give equal rights to the cinematographer and the newspaper man.

Then, among the illegal false advertising and reports of public brawls at the cinema, they ended with-

The lesson of the Titanic disaster and all its incidents can be made far more impressive by pictures that move than by mere words in cold letters.

I apologize in advance for the long emotional unload, I just really need to voice where my head is at and put this down somewhere beyond a journal.
I absolutely adore my wife, she's truthfully the most incredible, passionate, creative and unique person I've ever met and on both good and bad days have never pictured a future that didn't include her in it. I'd walk through fire for her, and she's the person I want to navigate life with more than anything. When I think about the best moments of my life, many of them are tied to her - our first date, our second "first date", our engagement, our wedding, welcoming our child into the world and the list could go on. I had hoped to add so many more to this list.
But sadly, I've been separated from my wife for almost two months and it's quite literally been the hardest days of my life. In December I had a car accident on a particularly icy day and after went on anti-depressants in the months that followed (unrelated) but none of this matched what was to follow. Two months ago, she told me that despite being a loving, and attentive husband and partner we weren't right for each other and she wanted to separate to figure out what she wanted. I knew that we had some ups and downs like any relationship (as every relationship does), but truthfully I was blindsided, I never expected we'd get to this point because I genuinely would never give up on us (an never have even in hardships). I truly feel like when all was said and done, I've been a good husband, partner and father, standing by her in her most difficult moments and weathering the good and bad together. I know there's no one else in the picture, but I have such a hard time figuring out where and why things went wrong.
In a short span of time, I went from being home with my kids and the woman I love more than anything to being a ghost in the spare bedroom of my parents house trying to pick myself up. I started therapy, increased antidepressants, dieting and hiking, weekly check-ins with my family doctor and trying my best to just put one foot in front of the other. On a positive note, I've dropped 25 pounds (I wish I could've found an easier way to do it).
The situation feels so unfair, in a short span of time my entire life has changed and it's completely out of my control. I won't throw blame at her - she's not being vindictive, and I'd never want to try to guilt her into reconciliation. It's taken a lot to hold back on messages, calls and a desire to see her.
Last week, I truly felt like I was starting to get my feet back under me - it seemed like there was some hope that we were coming closer together, she was reaching out to me with things beyond just being about the kids. Then there was a shift, she unloaded on me about not being present enough and things are worse than ever it seems. I haven't been perfect, but I've been trying so hard to keep moving despite everything and had been told by others in my life that they though I was carrying myself well. She asked for low contact, and I though I was giving her what she wanted. When I told her I was trying and that I acknowledged that I could do more, she told me that she didn't want to reconcile and that we were done.
My son shared with me (unprompted) that his mom now figured I'm angry at her, but it couldn't be further from the truth; regardless of the hurt now or before, I've never really been angry with her. She's a passionate, fiery person who sometimes says something in the moment and regrets it after but often won't admit to that. I'm now having sleepless nights again wondering, hoping, that this is another of those moments. I don't know how to broach a conversation with her now, it feels like we're further apart than ever.
It would be so much easier if I was angry at her - heck, I want to hate her but I can't. She's my favorite person despite everything, my closest confident and the mother of my kids. I really want nothing more to tell her that I love her and miss her - that I want to fight like hell to make things work but I know that I shouldn't (or at least that's the unsolicited advice I've been given by many close to me).
Now today, I find out that my grandmother is not doing well and it could be something she doesn't come back from and I'm finding myself spiraling further and further. I want to reach out so badly to my wife, she's been my person (and I felt like I've been hers). I have family and friends but it just isn't the same. I just want my wife, my family, my home - I feel so broken.

Trial Day 11
Katherine Jackson, Rebbie and Trent are at court.
Choreographer Travis Payne & Katherine Jackson spoke briefly in the courtroom before the jury came in. They seemed cordial
Travis Payne Testimony
AEG direct
Payne is wearing a black jacket with a gold emblem on the shoulders with the word "MJ" & a pair of wings
Payne said he was concerned about MJ missing rehearsals. He didn't know why he wasn't showing up, but MJ was also working on an album and a book
Payne said he did not think that Jackson had a problem abusing prescription medications. He acknowledged that Jackson missed rehearsals and he saw the singer shivering or appearing cold in some of his final rehearsals
He worked with Jackson beginning in the 1990's and testified that he never saw Jackson drink alcohol or take any medications. Michael also never discussed his medical treatments, Payne said
Payne told the jury he advised MJ he was looking thin.

"Michael said he was 'getting down to my fighting weight', which I took to mean that he was preparing for the performances", Payne testified. "I had no reason to doubt him"

Payne says he was satisfied with the response.
Payne said there was one day (6/19) when MJ was cold. He thought the frustration had him on edge. When Jackson needed to be layered in blankets and required a heater to be comfortable, Payne said, he believed Michael was merely fighting a cold.

"No one else was cold. He had flu-like symptoms"
"Sometimes he was tired and lethargic and had to be, not convinced, but supported throughout rehearsals," Payne recalled

Payne said that in April, May & June, MJ missed 5 rehearsals with the whole group. He said one time Ortega sent Michael home
Bina shows an email from Ortega to Gongaware on Jun 14:

"Were you aware that Michael's doctor didn't permit him to attend rehearsal yesterday? Without invading his privacy, it might be a good idea to talk to his doctor to make sure everything he requires is in place. Who is responsible for Michael getting proper nourishment/vitamins/therapy every day? Personally, I feel he should have a top Nutritionist and Physical Therapist working with him on a regular basis. The demand on this guy is mentally and physically extraordinary! The show requirements exhaust our 20 year olds. Please don't underestimate the need to stay on top of this"

Another part of the same email chain, from Gongaware:

"Frank and I have discussed it already and have requested a face-to-face meeting w/ the doctor... We want to remind him that it's AEG not Michael Jackson who's paying his salary We want him to understand what is expected of him. He has been dodging Frank so far

Payne said his understanding was that AEG was paying Dr. Murray's salary not Michael. The doctor was there to oversee many things, Payne said. Payne explained he didn't have much reason to question Dr. Murray since he thought that a doctor selected to work with Michael was top notch.
Bina asked Payne whether he ever met Conrad Murray. The choreographer says he met Murray twice. Payne says the first time he met Dr. Murray was at the Carolwood house.

"I was going up the steps, Dr. Murray going downstairs, Michael introduced us."

Payne was coming up from the basement to the middle floor. Studio was at the basement. Payne said he never went to the top floor of the house. He says the second time was at the Staples Center, after a rehearsal and Jackson was leaving for the day. Both meetings were brief.
When asked how Michael performed on June 23 & 24:

"He was having his process, I didn't expect him to be like he would in front of a crowd," Payne explained. "He was not at show standards ... I didn't expect him to be as he would be in front of a crowd."
Payne: "It ebbed and flowed. Some days were good, some days were not as good."

The last two days were good.

"I thought he was in his way to the goals he set himself," Payne told the jury.

He didn't have any question that MJ would be able to perform , adding that he and others were impressed while watching Jackson rehearse at Staples Center on June 23/24, 2009.
Payne described the day MJ died: He was headed to rehearsal at Michael's home, got a call from his mother who said she saw reports on the news. Payne heard news on the radio, called Staples Center spoke to Stacy Walker, she said they were rehearsing. He was told to go to Staples.

"We were optimistic of his arrival," Payne said explaining they were expecting Michael to rehearse at the Staples Center.

Payne said Ortega got a series of calls. He remembers Kenny saying:

'tell me something that will make me know it's you and that this is true'

​

" I remember him (Kenny Ortega) collapsing in his seat and crying," Payne testified

Payne said he never saw Michael drink alcohol or take medication but

"Sometimes, in rehearsal, Michael would appear just a little loopy, under the influence of something, but mostly when he would come to the rehearsals from the dermatologist," Payne testified.

That happened two to four times in the weeks before his death, he said. Payne told that he didn't think Jackson had a problem with prescription drugs

"Michael was undergoing personal cosmetic procedures, so he could feel great and do a good job," Payne said.

Payne also said he appeared groggy in the morning sometimes, which he attributed to lack of sleep

"Mr. Jackson just explained to me that he had trouble sleeping, that he was tired, and that satisfied me," Payne testified.

He stated that he's not sure how much weight MJ had lost
Payne mentioned one day in particular at a meeting with Andre Crouch and singers, MJ seemed a little out of it
Payne said at one point, he & others tried to bring in a top physical therapist who works with Olympic athletes to help Michael. Jackson didn't work w/physical therapist flown in for him.

"At the last minute we realized that Michael was not going to go through with it. He was just not comfortable with the invasion of personal space."

Bina played a clip of This Is It from Jun 4 showing the green screen and making of "Drill" and Michael talking about the cool moves, dancing. Payne said the idea was to show the rehearsals and how things came together. The footage itself wasn't altered, but there was editing. Payne said they picked the best of the rehearsal to include in the documentary. He wanted to reshoot some scenes but was not allowed. Payne, who was an associate producer on the This Is It documentary, said the footage of Jackson had not been retouched or altered.
Jackson cross
Attorney Brian Panish cross examined Payne. He asked if Michael ever performed the entire show from beginning to end. Payne said "No"

"Was he ready to perform for an audience?", Panish asked.
"I thought he was on his way to the goals he had set for himself," Payne answered. "All I saw was improvement and getting closer to the goals"

Payne's impression was that MJ loved being a father. He said he saw the beauty of their relationships, loyalty to one another.

"When we rehearsed, we had meals together," Payne recalled, talking about Michael and all three children.

Payne thought the relationship between MJ and Prince was awesome, Michael was a proud father, great to see how they interacted. Prince wanted to be a director, Michael would point out things to him during rehearsal should that be his career, Payne remembered.
As to Paris Jackson, Payne said he saw a very protective young lady, smart, astute, with knowledge of the production, very hands on. Paris, who was 11 at the time, was

"a very retentive young lady who was very, very smart, very astute," Payne testified. "She had full knowledge of the day-to-day operations, from the time of lunch and what it was going to be, she was hands on -- far beyond her age," he said. "She had a lot of responsibility, which I think she welcomed"

Payne said she was "the female of the house," and also "a daddy's girl."

"She really loved her father," he said. "At that time, she was coming to find out his global successes and presence, so she would wear her Michael Jackson t-shirt, headband and bag," he said.

It was Paris who would bless the food when they were have lunch with their father at home, he said.

"She was always the most vocal of the three children and was very concerned about many of the details of the house, was the temperature correct, what do you want to eat," Payne testified. "She just handled a lot for her young age"

Blanket, who was 7 when his father died, was the most quiet of the three. He liked to watch his father rehearsing his dances with Payne in the basement studio of their home, Payne said.

"He was quiet, but always right there with his dad," he said.

Michael guided and mentored him. Payne said he would be proud if MJ was his father and agreed the children suffered a tremendous loss. When rehearsing with Jackson at his Holmby Hills residence, Payne said the singer clearly delighted in being a father and shared meals with all three

"I saw the beauty of their relationships. I saw their loyalty to their father, I saw his loyalty to them. Their father enlightened them and taught them", he testified. "I was very proud to see Michael as such a loving father."
Panish: "Was Paris a Daddy's girl?"
Payne: "Yes, I believe so"

His description of the close relationship Paris (15) and Prince (16) had with their father four years ago could foreshadow the significance of the children's testimony later in the trial.
Payne always carries a video camera with him and shot videos of rehearsal. AEG took the footage that Payne shot and never returned to him. Email from Randy to Paul:

"Make sure you take out the shots of Michael in that red jacket... He looks way too thin and skeletal."

Payne said he was not aware of the email. He said Michael looked thin, but not skeletal. He doesn't know if Paul/Randy took any the footage out. The email was not displayed for the jury
As for Michael's relationship with Katherine, Payne said

"there's no secret that he loved his mother very much. It is kind of common knowledge"

​

"Karen Faye is a make up artist. She designed the make up, was always there when Michael was there", Payne testified.

Payne said Faye and MJ had a long term working relationship. They spent a lot of personal time together. Faye was concerned and frustrated with how Michael looked. She went to Payne kind of in an aggressive way. Payne told her to report to Ortega.
Payne said he wanted MJ to have a physical therapist, nutritionist, massage therapist, and have his family around. He said this was a different scenario.

"This was the first time MJ was working with AEG," Payne testified, saying he had always been hired by MJJ production before.

Payne said this was the first time Michael was not the sole producer of the show. Payne started working without a signed contract. He was being paid by AEG. Panish showed Payne's written contract. It is between Payne and AEG, beginning April 1, 2009. The contract said only AEG could cancel it. He testified that there was a delay in his contract with AEG because the salary was not in line with his standard charges, but that things worked out after he had a conversation with Jackson. Payne also said he believed AEG was paying Murray's salary, not Jackson
Payne was hired and paid by AEG. His contract was with AEG.

Panish: "Who could fire you. AEG?"
Payne: "I'm sure"

Things became heated when Panish inquired about a text message Karen Faye sent to Payne that accused him of lying to the media after Michael's death. He said earlier Faye had approached him in an "aggressive" way about her concern for Jackson's health but he told her to take her concerns to Ortega.

"I do not remember receiving a text message from Karen Faye asking why I was lying to the media," Payne explained.
Panish: "Were you upset when MJ died?"
Payne: "Yes"

During cross-examination, Payne was shown several photos of premieres for the This Is It documentary .Panish shows a picture of Payne at the red carpet premiere. He agreed he was happy about the premiere. In one, Ortega & AEG executive Randy Phillips flank Jackson's manager, Frank DiLeo, who has a cigar hanging out of his mouth. All three are grinning. Brian Panish, the attorney for Jackson's family, remarked that everyone looked pretty happy
Payne said he wasn't privy to details of what was expected of Dr. Murray. AEG was producepromoter, but MJ was the star, had to be happy
Panish reminded Payne that he had testified in his deposition that AEG was

"trying to protect its investment"

​

"I don't have a dog in this race so I'm not on either side", an aggravated Payne countered adding that he felt Panish was being aggressive. "I'm just saying I don't want to be painted as somebody who's trying to mask anything".

After several hours of testy exchanges with Panish, his voice quivered and he dabbed his eyes with a tissue.

"I'm just trying to have a conversation with you and tell the truth."

Panish asked Payne if defendants' attorney approached him during lunch to show him some documents. He said yes, he saw parts of his deposition
Under cross examination, Payne acknowledged that some of Jackson's behavior, including grogginess, lethargy, insomnia and occasional paranoia, were possible symptoms of prescription drug abuse. He also said that despite testifying earlier that he worked with Jackson one-on-one five days a week, he couldn't recall how many rehearsals the singer actually attended
Panish after lunch break got Travis Payne to concede Jackson wasn't present for a May 19, 2009 rehearsal. Payne also conceded that Jackson was a no-show for a June 22, 2009 rehearsal. Panish confronted Payne saying that yesterday he said he was with MJ at a dance studio on May 19, that they were up on their feet & danced.

Panish: "Sir, Michael was not with you May 19, 2009, was he?"
Payne: "No"
Panish: "He was at the doctor"
Payne: "If you're saying, I'm not disputing"

Panish said that on May 19, Michael was having a cyst removed at Dr. Klein's office, so he could not have been rehearsing with Payne.
Panish then said on Jun 22 MJ wasn't there either, "was he?"
Payne said he didn't know.
Panish said MJ was at another doctor's office
Payne said he may have made a mistake about Jackson's whereabouts & he didn't know his personal schedule. Travis Payne had testified yesterday that he and Jackson ran through certain songs on May 19th. He said today he was testifying based on the schedule and notes he compiled and that his recollection might be wrong

"We're human, sometimes we make mistakes," Payne explained, saying he's not disputing that Michael was or wasn't there on those dates.

Payne said there was always something for Michael to do.

"He needed to come to rehearsal, it was part of the job"

Payne said Michael had a hard time picking up some of the material. He was having trouble learning dances, Payne says. Email from Ortega to Gongaware:

"He has been slow at grabbing hold of the work"

Jackson was having trouble learning dances, choreographer Travis Payne says

"Prior to June, I noticed Mr. Jackson was thinner than I recognized him," Payne said, noting he never saw sudden weight change in MJ.

Second time Payne saw Dr. Murray was the night before Michael died at Staples Center.

"I wanted Michael to go home and go to sleep" Payne recalls. Payne said something about Murray felt off, Payne said. "He didn't feel like an official doctor"

Payne knew MJ had sleeping problems and that Dr. Murray was treating him for that. Ortega also knew; Payne thought Gongaware was aware too. Payne also said he and Ortega knew that Jackson was having sleep problems. Attorney Brian Panish asks if AEG executives knew. There were several objections, and Payne was only allowed to answer "No" as to whether Paul Gongaware knew about Michael's sleep problems
Panish asked Payne about choosing Jackson's dancers for This Is It. Payne says they were whittled down from 5,000 applicants. Applicants submitted video clips and their submissions were used to cull down potential dancers from there. Payne said they received 5,000 applications for dancers, about 2,500 showed up for the audition.He taught them some dance moves, and the pool was further narrowed down. Michael chose the dancers
Panish then asked Payne whether he knew how many doctors AEG interviewed to work with Jackson on This Is It. "No", Payne says. Payne also says he isn't aware how much interviewing or investigation into Murray that AEG did.(Panish's point appears to be that there was more scrutiny of backup dancers than Conrad Murray)
During preparations for This Is It, Michael at times seemed "under the influence of something" and once couldn't take the stage because he appeared incoherent, Payne testified.
Payne said he was aware that Jackson had problems sleeping and chalked up the singer's sometimes erratic behavior to sleep aids or sedatives from his dermatologist visits.

"You have to understand that one always says hindsight is 20/20. In the moment I had no inkling of what, ultimately, what was revealed until Mr. Jackson's passing", he said

Payne saw Michael tired and fatigued. He agreed that those symptoms could be signs of drug addiction. Payne was aware that MJ was losing weight during rehearsals and he had not seeing him lose weight like that before.

"He was not in great physical shape and was sore,working up his stamina. Lack of sleep and proper nourishment were starting to show", Payne said.

Payne says at one point, he told Kenny Ortega that Jackson appeared "assisted" (meaning that he thought he was on drugs\meds)
Payne said some people were concerned about the goals not being met, including Randy Phillips and Paul Gongaware. Payne learned what Demerol was after MJ died. He also remembers a mention of Demerol in the song "Morphine".
Panish asked if MJ knew the lyrics of his songs.

"I think he did, he knew most of them, but he wanted to have a Teleprompter for safety.He didn't want to make any mistakes, to refresh his memory. Also to use for sequence of songs",Payne said.

Payne agreed that it was very unusual for Michael to have a Teleprompter with the lyrics of his own songs. He never used it before. Payne didn't specify which songs Jackson wanted the teleprompter for
Payne said a body double was requested for Michael. Misha Gabriel was his body double, but shorter than him. Some of the scenes in the documentary are with the body double, Payne testified. Payne remembers at the Culver Studios in Smooth Criminal there was a stunt and Misha was asked to jump through a glass plate
Payne said most the time, MJ was present at rehearsals. "It wasn't a big deal," he expressed
Panish showed an email from the band leader Michael Bearden:

"Michael is not in shape enough yet to sing this stuff live and dance at the same time. He can use the ballads to sing live and get his stamina back up, Once he's healthy enough and has more strength I Have full confidence he can sing the majority of the show live. His voice sounds amazing right now, he needs to build it back up. I still need all big dance numbers to be in the system so we can concentrate on choreography."

Payne was aware that AEG was considering in mid June pulling the plug on the show. He said Michael looked exhausted & paranoid on Jun 19. Jackson's condition and missed rehearsals led to talk within the last 10 days of Jackson's life that AEG Live LLC, which was promoting "This Is It," might cancel the concert series.

"It was 'We've got to get this together or the plug may be pulled,'" Payne says

Payne was working for AEG and said he relayed his concerns about Jackson's possible prescription drug use and that he was exhibiting troubling signs of insomnia, weight loss and paranoia in his final days to tour director Kenny Ortega. Jackson was struggling to get into shape for the shows, and Payne said his voice coach suggested using a voice track for fast-paced songs until the singer's stamina improved.
Payne went to Michael's house on June 20. He was cold and had to light the fireplace and rub his hand and feet to warm himself up
Panish showed a picture of Michael on June 24 rehearsing "Thriller"; Payne said MJ improved but was not at his best yet.

Panish: "Around June 20, was Ortega in the mindset that Michael Jackson was not ready for this?" Payne: "Yes"

Payne said Michael was not ready, it was not the Michael he knew. He died four days later. But he didn't see anything that alarmed him on June 23/24

Panish:" Did you see that Michael was getting pressured to get everything done in the last days?" Payne: "Yes"

Payne said he could sense something was wrong, but didn't know what it was. He said Jackson's performances in the final days of his life were impressive, and it felt

"like we were definitely on an upswing"

​

"I never doubted Michael because he was the architect of this and he wanted to do it, so part of my responsibility was to help him get there", Payne said, his voice racked with emotion.

Panish ended his direct examination of choreographer Travis Payne with three questions.

Panish: "Did you see that Michael Jackson appeared to be pressured to get everything done at the Staples last rehearsals?"
"Yes," Payne said
Panish: "The pressure about the shows started to manifest itself physically in Michael Jackson?"
"Yes," Payne replied.
Panish:" You could sense that something was wrong, you just didn't know what it was?"
Payne responded "Yes."

AEG re-direct
Payne's demeanor changed after Panish finished questioning him. He was holding back tears when the AEG attorney started re-direct examination. For the next several moments, Payne blinked and dabbed both eyes with a tissue. It was the first time he'd gotten emotional on the stand.

Bina in re-direct asked: "Do you think you could get him there?"
Payne: "Absolutely!"

Bina asked Payne again about how many rehearsals Jackson attended. Payne said MJ was present a significant amount of the days he was scheduled to work but he couldn't recall dates, precisely how many that Jackson attended.
As to Gongaware's email regarding what was expected of Dr. Murray, Payne said the inconsistencies with Michael missing rehearsals warrant a talk. Payne said he thought Dr. Murray was there to care for his patient, making sure right nutritionist was there, to get him ready for the show. Payne never discussed with MJ about his doctors or personal affairs. Payne and Faye were professionals with each other, but not friends.

"Production felt he wasn't coming to rehearsals enough, and that was frustrating to some of the staff," Payne testified. "I had a concern we needed to create a show Michael would enjoy doing it," Payne explained

She also showed Payne photos from the This Is It premiere. First photo is of Payne shaking Jermaine Jackson's hand at the movie premiere. Bina also showed another image of smiling Jermaine, Tito, Jackie and Marlon with Payne at the premiere. Payne cried saying he had been through so much and the rough part was behind them. He was pleased to show the fans what the show was to be.
Jackson re-cross
In re-cross, Panish notes that none of Michael's brothers are part of this lawsuit.
Panish then asked Payne whether Katherine Jackson and Michael's kids went to the premiere. Panish says Katherine Jackson & her grandchildren didn't go to the premiere because they weren't over Jackson's death. Payne said he didn't think anyone was over Jackson's death when the film premiered in late 2009.
Court Transcript

LinkedIn can be a sales goldmine when used strategically.

Among all the social media platforms out there, LinkedIn stands out as the go-to platform for professional social networking.

But with over 900 million people using it, how do you stand out?
It requires more than a compelling bio and a polished profile image.
Do You Know??

According to the latest statistics, 40 million people use LinkedIn every week to search for jobs, and three people a minute are hired on the site.

This article will cover:

1. Keywords
2. Headlines
3. Profile completeness
4. Job title optimisation /Work Experience
5. URL Optimization

What Is LinkedIn SEO?

How Search Engine Optimisation (SEO) works for LinkedIn???

LinkedIn SEO is all about optimizing your profile and content to boost your visibility and ranking, offering a myriad of opportunities for career progression, business networking, and establishing a prominent presence within your industry.
When you fine-tune your profile’s headline summary, work experience, and skills section with specific keywords, you can boost the likelihood of appearing in LinkedIn’s search results.
Imagine someone searching for specific keywords or skills related to your professional background – a well-optimized profile significantly increases the chances of your profile being featured in their search results.
On top of that, LinkedIn profiles can also show up in traditional search engine results pages (SERPs) like Google, expanding your online presence.
Beyond profile optimization, the impact of SEO extends to your content. LinkedIn posts and, particularly, articles have the potential to rank within LinkedIn’s search engine, showcasing your expertise within the platform.
Furthermore, these articles, with their long-form nature and valuable insights, can also rank on traditional search engines, leveraging LinkedIn’s high domain authority for increased visibility both on and off the platform.

Why You Need to Optimize Your LinkedIn Profile:

An optimized LinkedIn profile is one where every part of your personal profile is filled out and shows audiences what you do, who you are, and what you are an expert in.

This helps your profile rank higher in LinkedIn searches and builds trust among those who might want to connect or follow you.

Do You Know??
Even more compelling? Some 44% of LinkedIn users earn more than $75,000 a year. That’s a considerable bump up from the national median income of $68,703 per household.
Let's Dive in:

6 steps to help improve your LinkedIn SEO optimization for better results.

Step 1: Keywords.

A keyword is a word or phrase that searchers enter into a search engine. Learn more about Keyword Research. Examples of keywords and phrases include:
Example:
In seo bint e jamil, 'Digital Marketing Manager' is the keyword.

• Freelance Digital Marketer
• Certified Digital Marketer
• Best Digital Marketer

For LinkedIn, create a list of 7-10 words or terms that your ideal client would use when searching for the service you offer. For example:

• SEO Digital Marketer
• Digital Marketer Agency
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Now, use these keywords throughout your profile in as many sections as possible, including your:

• Headline
• Role descriptions
• Skills and endorsements
• Skills and endorsements section. LinkedIn prioritises skills already in its database, so when adding a new skill, start typing it, then select the most relevant suggestion that appears.

Step 2: Profile Completeness

To rank highly your profile will need to be 100% complete, with every profile section completed. Consider using bullet points rather than paragraphs, and format the text so it’s easy to read.
Let’s take a look at what you should focus on to fully optimize your LinkedIn profile.

1: Images Optimization:

When you’re setting up your profile, you’ll want to make sure you’ve got a solid profile picture.

LinkedIn can be a sales goldmine when used strategically.LinkedIn can be a sales goldmine when used strategically.

Among all the social media platforms out there, LinkedIn stands out as the go-to platform for professional social networking.

2: LinkedIn Background Photo:

Background photos are like billboards. You can use this space to show your accomplishments and awards or offer free resources.

LinkedIn Background Photo Optimization
You should also:

• Add a tagline to inform visitors about who you are and what you do
• Include your website URL and social media handles
• Include a call-to-action (CTA) or provide clear instructions on how users can get in touch with you
• Make sure you avoid placing any important information on the bottom left — it won’t be visible

3: Craft a Keyword-Rich Tagline /Headline:

Your LinkedIn headline sits just below your profile image and name. Customising your headline is not only critical for SEO, it’s also an important part of your personal brand - how people view and perceive you on the platform.

LinkedIn automatically populates your headline with your current or most recent position – however, you have the option to customise it. Remember, you want the headline to create an informative and impactful snapshot of yourself.
Linkedin Headline Optimization
When creating your headline:

• Include your role title
• Include your industry
• Include your specialty
• Use all of the 120 characters available
• Steer clear of emoji use

Headline Example:

For a digital marketing manager, a similarly optimized tagline could be, "Innovative Digital Marketing Strategies to Elevate Your Brand's Presence" — placing the target keyword "Digital marketing strategies" prominently at the start.

4. Featured Posts on LinkedIn

The Featured section on LinkedIn is a space on your profile where you can highlight important content.

LinkedIn Featured Section
It’s near the top, below your photo and headline. You can use this section to showcase:

• Articles or blog posts you’ve written
• Videos
• Images, graphics, or infographics
• Documents, like case studies or whitepapers
• Testimonials or other achievements

Featured content isn’t permanent, so you can change it up to include new content as regularly as you like!

5.Create a Compelling “About” Section

The About section is the meat of your Company page. Here, you have the space to go into more detail, telling the story of your brand and naturally incorporating relevant keywords throughout.

About Us LinkedIn SEO
Here are some components to consider including in your About section:

• Your brand vision. Articulate the impact your company aspires to have.
• Mission statement. Use action-oriented language to describe how you plan to achieve your vision.
• Company values. Articulate your brand values to showcase your company culture and principles.
• Brand differentiators. Clarify your brand’s positioning to differentiate your company and its offerings from competitors.
• Products and/or services. Provide short overviews of your main offerings using clear, searchable terms.

Here’s an example of the beginning of an About section for a data analytics company:

At ABC Company, we democratize data analytics, enabling businesses of all sizes to unlock insights through our intuitive, AI-powered analytics platform.

Finally, you can add in some “Top skills” as a way to remind readers what your services are. This also presents another opportunity to add in your keywords.

6.Work Experience

When I’m looking at someone’s experience section on LinkedIn, I’m looking to see if they meet the criteria of the role beyond a job title. Their job duties and achievements give me a better understanding of their scope of knowledge and specific skill sets this role needs.

LinkedIn “Work Experience” section

Fields for LinkedIn experience entries

Each position on LinkedIn has a combination of required (*) and optional fields:

Required fields for LinkedIn Work Experience entries

Title*

List your position title, including any relevant keywords. Sometimes job titles benefit from being revised for common searches.
Example: "Content Marketing Manager" might be more search-friendly than "Manager, Marketing Content."

Company name*

Many companies already have a company profile on LinkedIn and will autocomplete from the LinkedIn Company Page in the dropdown as you type.

Employment dates*

This is usually shown by a start and end date. If you’re currently working in the role, click “I am currently working in this role” and it will automatically list your end date on your profile as “Present.”

Industry*

This doesn’t display on your profile. Select the best match and keep going.

Optional fields for LinkedIn Work Experience entries

The profile gets much more interesting with the additional, optional work experience fields including:

Employment type

Location

Sharing the location can give people reviewing your profile a sense of where you’ve worked (and where you’re likely based).

Location type

Choose from On-site, Hybrid, and Remote. Showing that you have experience working in a certain capacity can be valuable to some recruiters and employers. Example: If you have a work history in remote roles, you may be a strong candidate for additional remote roles.
Description
This is a written summary, usually two or three sentences long, that allows you to show your job duties, achievements, and expertise. By including relevant information with a few highlights and key accomplishments, you can improve your odds as a job seeker.
Pro tip: To further optimize your LinkedIn profile, consider using ChatGPT for your LinkedIn summary.

7.URL Optimization

LinkedIn allows you to personalise your URL, changing it from the automated URL, which is usually quite long and contains a random assortment of numbers. Upon updating make sure you update your email signature, business cards and other marketing collateral.
URL Optimization in LinkedIn SEO

• Standard URL example (not optimised): https://www.linkedin.com/in/seo-bint-e-jamil323389/
• Custom URL example (optimised): https://www.linkedin.com/in/seo-bint-e-jamil/

To change your LinkedIn public profile URL:

For LinkedIn Public Profile URL:

1. Click the Me icon at the top of your LinkedIn homepage.
   
2. Click View profile.
   
3. Click Edit public profile & URL on the right side.
   

• You’ll be redirected to the Public profile settings page.

1. Under Edit your custom URL on the right side, click the Edit icon next to your public profile URL.

• It'll be an address that looks like www.linkedin.com/in/yourname.

1. Type the last part of your new custom URL in the text box.
   
2. Click Save
   

Drive Results with LinkedIn SEO Optimization

By enhancing the different components of your LinkedIn profile page with a strategic approach to LinkedIn SEO optimization, you’ll be much more likely to appear in search results. This will go a long way toward increasing your visibility and helping drive more business opportunities. Remember that SEO isn’t just a one-time effort, but rather an ongoing process that requires regular attention and updates to deliver your desired results.

Cut out a piece of drywall and this is the confusing picture that presented itself. There is a layer of foil on top of paper and underneath that is black concrete. there are areas where the foil is missing or deteriorated, but there also appears to be a couple of spots that look like they could be black mold but am unsure. Sprayed it multiple times with mold killer and also hydrogen peroxide.

Hey guys. So we all know that there probably isn't going to be a Sopranos sequel. It's understandable why, All the story is wrapped up, there's nothing else to write about, and it may ruin the ending, which has been lauded to this day as one of the best in television history.
But a sequel is still possible, one that fully respects and even complements the ambiguity of the ending.
So, if you look back to Made in America (S6 E21), there are two possible endings: Tony dies, or Tony goes to jail. Carlo is now flipped, and will present testimony that will lead to Tony's indictment. Also too, there's the relationships with Patsy and Paulie, whom behave somewhat suspiciously in the finale. This means either Tony is gonna be betrayed, or he will be arrested, potentially for life, where he will rot till he dies.
Now, whether or not he dies or goes to jail, the outcome's still the same: he won't be in the picture.
This is what the sequel can work with. twenty or so years after the finale, The story could be about the other characters, such as Meadow, AJ, Carmela and many others, who will more than likely be living a bleak existence without Tony in the picture. It could be presented in a way that Tony does die, but could be in Hosteens or in Jail.
A sequel could show the Mafia in the modern age, all their changes with things like American Politics and other issues of this day and age. There's a lot of material to work with.
Personally, I prefer the show as it is. It's had its run. It finished at the perfect time, avoided the mistake that SOO many other shows have made. But I'm still interested in the possibilities. What do you guys think?

P.S. and it's bigger and better than ever! 🌟
Featuring a full festival format with over 80 speakers and 100 events across three days and various venues, there's something for everyone!
🎨 The festival is divided into four Design Districts: Graphic, Digital, Product, and Illustration. Each district offers free talks, workshops, and drop-in sessions led by creatives from diverse backgrounds.
🗣️ Special presentations include insights from Oscar-nominated animator Pes, artist Aurelia Durand, Sony Pictures Imageworks FX supervisor Pav Grochola, and Sue Murphy, senior global director of design at Coca-Cola.

P.S. and it's bigger and better than ever! 🌟
Featuring a full festival format with over 80 speakers and 100 events across three days and various venues, there's something for everyone!
🎨 The festival is divided into four Design Districts: Graphic, Digital, Product, and Illustration. Each district offers free talks, workshops, and drop-in sessions led by creatives from diverse backgrounds.
🗣️ Special presentations include insights from Oscar-nominated animator Pes, artist Aurelia Durand, Sony Pictures Imageworks FX supervisor Pav Grochola, and Sue Murphy, senior global director of design at Coca-Cola.

Hi Reddit,
I'm in need of some advice regarding my current marital situation and the potential sale of our home. To give you the full picture, I'll start from the beginning. Apologies for the length, but I feel all the details are necessary to understand the context.
I (29F) met my husband (40M) on Tinder four years ago. We dated for about eight months when my family had an opportunity to purchase a property. My then-boyfriend was also looking to be involved in a business deal of that sort, and he was interested in having his name on the property as well. My father supported this, seeing as how my boyfriend was a physician with a good income, and saw this as a way to bring him closer to our family. The opportunity came quickly, and we all signed the contract to purchase the house.
Trouble began shortly after this. My boyfriend requested that only he and I be on the title of the house, removing the rest of my family, as he saw a future with us and envisioned it as our potential family home. My father was very pleased to hear this and supported it, so we obliged. During this time, the property had increased in value, and I requested the other family members be paid off so we could buy out their shares. My boyfriend declined, feeling it was unfair.
To skim over some details, here are the highlights of the construction: My boyfriend paid more for the down payment than we initially realized would be required. Because of this, he paid no further construction costs. The construction proceeded with debt from my family until the construction loans came through. My family paid for the construction, and my father built the house for us without charging for his management services. My father was displeased with my boyfriend’s behavior and required him to pay more money for the construction due to inflation and the COVID shutdown. My boyfriend declined, and my mother and I secretly took out a line of credit to front the construction costs to my father, pretending it was from my boyfriend. Eventually, as we got the construction loans on a rolling basis after meeting construction milestones, my mother’s line of credit was paid off.
During this time, my family and I wondered why my boyfriend had not proposed. I decided that if he hadn't proposed by a certain time, I would leave him. Fortunately, he did propose on Valentine’s Day 2022. By spring of 2022, construction was coming to an end, and it was time for us to settle into the house. My fiancé felt uncomfortable with how much money he had put into the house and was worried I could leave him and make a profit. I promised him I wouldn’t leave him, but it wasn’t enough. He said he would believe me if I had a child with him, otherwise women would leave men if there were no ties. I told him I would have a child with him right when we got married. He suggested I come off birth control, as it takes months for a woman’s cycle to normalize after being on birth control for many years. I promised him I would come off birth control.
Coming off birth control was more stressful than I realized. I was very hormonal, breaking out, and felt unlike myself. This contributed to my fiancé and I fighting more than usual. In one particularly heated fight, I told him I would go back on birth control and even purchased the pills, but he told me he would break up with me if I did because he wanted to get to know the real me. I conceded, and then something switched in me and I became excited at the possibility of having a baby. I started tracking my cycle and figuring out my ovulation days. I shared this with my fiancé, and on one of those days, we got pregnant. I didn’t find out until the end of summer 2022. When I did find out, I told my fiancé and suggested we should probably get married.
My fiancé's first response was that we should wait to see if the baby sticks, and if it does, then we can plan a marriage but he wanted to wait until February 2023. I was very disappointed and angry and yelled at him. I felt alone and overwhelmed by the thought of having an illegitimate child. After discussing potentially getting an abortion, potentially breaking up, and potentially selling the house, I talked my fiancé into keeping the baby and getting married. He also wanted to keep the baby but was afraid of our situation. After many fights about when to have the wedding, we finally decided on December 2022. At that point, I was four months pregnant. During this time, my fiancé and I had major arguments that therapy couldn’t even remedy. We would yell at each other, slam doors, I would cry, and he would hold himself up in a room for hours. We had nice moments too, but they were heavily clouded over by the bad.
Finally, we got married, and things were good for a while. But then we faced some marital problems. My husband kept separate accounts and managed the finances himself. We had a joint credit card where I could pay for expenses without being questioned. He made all of the major investment decisions and major purchases. If I tried to disagree or speak up, he would get upset because this was not the submissive wife I had promised him I would be. I made significantly less money than him but lived a good lifestyle, buying almost anything I wanted within reason. Coming from a traditional family, I was upset that finances were kept separate. And so it continued that my husband would invest tens of thousands of dollars into our house so that his family from out of town would visit. We live in Vancouver, Canada, but his family is from Ottawa. In hopes of luring his youngest sister (of four) to Vancouver, my husband would make any modification to the house that his youngest sister showed the slightest interest in. This included a hot tub on the rooftop, a media system in the basement, a movie projector, and much more. After said sister got married, she made it clear that she would not move to Vancouver. Then a switch happened in my husband, and he suddenly wanted to sell the house.
Meanwhile, during all this time, I had my baby, and my husband and I were still fighting more than ever. I felt no support from him, and he felt drained by his work, our fights, and being away from his family. Recently, for the past three months, he has been consistently pushing for the sale of our house. This is where my dilemma lies. I am afraid to sell this house because my husband has kept finances separate, and the mortgage on this house has been serving as a way for me to feel secure. My husband contributes a monthly amount on a regular basis. He could have forced a sale in the past but didn’t, instead paying into the monthly mortgage on top of other bills. Now, he is considering forcing the sale of our house, but I am upset that he is citing financing as the issue when I have been begging him to save money instead of spending (his response is that $200,000 does not affect a $2M mortgage, and that he now feels burnt out and wants to retire sooner and live passively). If I agree to sell, I feel unstable about moving from our home given that my husband and I fight so frequently, and I am left alone to take care of the child. It is also worth noting that my parents live right across the street and come over frequently to help with the child, or I would go over to seek their help. My husband says that he feels abandoned and uncomfortable frequently because of our proximity to my parents, but I am because there have been times when I felt truly alone, and my parents were my only solace and support. My husband would ignore me for days, especially when I was postpartum and vulnerable. My parents now see my husband as someone who doesn’t put his wife and child first. My husband says that the massive mortgage we have is too stressful for him, and he can’t take that burden. I am sad that my husband will not consider keeping this house for another three years so that I can get comfortable with the idea of selling the house and that potentially I and my family can all move to Ottawa so that we can allow my husband to be closer to his family.
I don’t know what to do at this point, Reddit. I’m currently on extended maternity leave, but it ends in six months. My husband and I will have to come to an agreement about the house, otherwise, it is likely that he will force the sale of the house even if I’m not ready to move. I’ve consistently felt rushed and overlooked in this relationship. I am tired of being the small voice that does not impact decision-making. My husband is now being nice to me and trying to show me a good time, but I see it as him turning on his charming mode so that I can say yes to the sale of this house. I’m not sure what to do. Our fights and disagreements are so bad and the marriage feels like doom sometimes (never any physical violence). I sometimes questions even staying with him, but I worry for my daughter. He is a good father to her, when he is present and off his phone.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR:
I need advice. I met my husband four years ago, and we bought a house together with my family's help. Financial disputes caused issues. Despite getting married and having a baby, we fight often. My husband handles our finances separately, spent a lot on the house, but now wants to sell it. I feel insecure about selling because the mortgage is like an investment to me, and also I rely on my parents, who live nearby, for help with our child. My husband feels stressed by the mortgage and feels homesick for his family 3000km away. I feel overlooked in decision-making and am unsure whether to agree to the sale, or to stand my ground and not sell. Sometimes I question staying in the marriage for my daughter’s sake, or if I should give up on this unhappy marriage.

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It’s exactly as the title says. I’ve been with my fiancé for 4 going on 5 years, our relationship has been amazing up to this point. We were talking about marriage, buying a house, kids….
I’ll try to keep on track. 2 months ago my friend asked me if my fiancé is bi also (I am bi) and I said no. He proceeded to show me a grindr post with my fiancé on it, his picture that I recognize from years ago when we first started dating. I immediately tried to confirm. This is when I found out the important fact that you have to pay to tap on any profile u want for grindr (this will be relevant later) I paid my friend so we could see his profile. My heart sank. I felt sick. And I made an attempt on my Life immediately after but was saved by nearby railway officers. I couldn’t deal with the pain. when I finally did come home (we live together) he was surprised to see me because I was supposed to be at work (I work 2 jobs, 1 full time in the day and a part time at night a few times a week) when I came in, he was in the game. Everything looked so normal, it didn’t look like he was being nefarious or anything and I think that hurt me more. Just knowing he could have been doing this the whole time right next to me and I would never know, it hurt.
I confronted him by giving back my ring. I told him he broke the promise it stood for and to keep it. He tried to put it back on me and asked what’s wrong. I just cried. I thought I would be mad when I saw him, but I saw the years we spent together in his eyes. I asked him if he was hiding anything from me. I told him I wouldn’t be mad if he can admit it. I wanted him to be more hurt but he defended himself saying he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. I dropped the bomb that I saw his Grindr account. He said he’s not gay or bi or even questioning and that it must be someone else. I didn’t believe him. I told him I knew about him having the account for a long time. I just needed the truth. This is where I take a brief moment to explain that I’ve seen emails and AppStore notifications about Grindr. Stuff like “even if you delete the app it will not stop your subscription “ and I saw he had texts with a man where he said that he (my fiancé) was trying to come through and fuck him. This was the second year of us dating that I found this. I said I saw the notification about Grindr but nothing about the texts. Back then he said it was spam. We lived together already. I left it alone, there wasn’t any other proof of it and I did not know that you had to pay for it back then(yeah I know that the part about the subscription in the notification should’ve tipped me off but I was going through a lot back then) Back to the present, he refused to admit it. I threatened him and he stayed adamant. I asked him if he would tell me if he was gay and he said ofc. That he wouldn’t tell his very religious parents but would tell at least me. He’s been cheated on by a woman being with a woman. I didn’t think he would do that. So I let it go. For then. Then I found femboy porn in his searches. My friend that found this out is becoming trans. I felt sick knowing that my best friend was a better match for him than me. Our sex life is up and down. It’s amazing when it happens but it doesn’t happen often. I’ve gone 8 months without sex at one time during our relationship. 1 time every month to 2 months is our constant average. I was told by other people that while that isn’t normal for our age group, it happens. Since then, I haven’t worn my ring. I’m not cold to him, I still love him with all my heart. I’m still affectionate, but it hurts to sleep next to him. I hate that I have to second guess him. I want this to work but it feels like I’m beating a dead horse. I have no family. I have very few friends and I am the friend out of all my friend groups that has gotten their shit together the most. We have a place together. His family loves me. I know all his friends. I feel like my life is in shambles… Why bring this up today? Because I got STI tests for both of us shortly after this came out (he agreed hesitantly bc he said if I’m clean he’s clean) and it turns out I have stage 1 kidney failure. I may leave this earth and have no one by my side til the end. I’m scared. I’m not going to get treatment, it’s my decision and I don’t want to be on a ton of meds the rest of my life. Is our relationship salvageable? We’ve had so many great times and he has helped me grow as a person so much. Same for me to him. I love that we bring out the best in eachother. But now what… Sorry if I rambled. I would appreciate any advice