30 F, Indian, married to a 30 year old living in Delhi in the guy's house OBV. Mother in law asks my mother to talk to me to get pregnant. I've been married for 2.5 years. And honestly everyone in the house is dependent on the rented income (FIL doesn't work). Husband doesn't earn much since he's working with a junior lawyer and I earn around the same. However no one can tell we are poor. We've got cars, his sister is abroad, however I don't want to have a child when we can't pay or take care of anything.
We are planning to have the child in a year but I'm sick of being questioned by these women. Mom in law taunts and my mother also keeps questioning. I don't like being told shit and I don't want to tell them anything because they reason with me.
Does this happen with every woman in Delhi after 30?

The rift between them has caused a lot of tension in my family and now my mom wants to be in the life of her newborn grandson but refuses to address or try to mend things with my wife.
Little history: I probably introduced them too quickly. My grandmother was in town in south Florida about to move here from Illinois for a retirement community. My wife, girlfriend at the time, came with cookies or some form of baked goods like she usually does when visiting someone as a sign of affection and respect. Where it went wrong from here I have no idea. I suppose the initial crack was when wife scheduled a skitrip for her and I to have as a 1 year of dating anniversary present. We are not rich, this is a huge gift that made sense to her since I refused to let her pay rent. Our combines salaries are barely over 120k. So wife calls mom 6 months in advance because she is a planner for the sole purpose of asking my mom to watch one of our four dogs. Wife has already paid in full for the trip. Yet Mom decides it is a great idea to instead use the opportunity to hop on and take a family trip because it is the last time the family will have for a family vacation - I am the oldest of two boys and two stepsisters, my mom married the guy she left my father for who has twin girls of his own that were in the womb during the infidelity. Anyway mom completely takes over and decides to make our one year gift a family vacation, so she books tickets for a hotel nearby. Wife is bold but at the time not bold enough to stop my mom in her tracks for overstepping a boundary. At this time she still respected my mother and kind of let herself get steamrolled.
Probably skippable Family history: Now I have always had issues with my mother, resentment for leaving my father for my stepdad behind my own fathers back and constantly trying to keep brother and I from seeing “Disneyland dad who doesn’t do any of the work but gets all the fun.” my mother was very strict growing up, always bringing us to church and making my father feel guilty for not bringing brother and I on his weekend. So mom marries stepdad age 11, divorces him around 13 after asking me advice for her relationship and i encourage her to move out. Then remarries him and moves us back into his house age 15. Here I begin rebellion and normal teeenager stuff but stepdad won’t butt in because he isn’t my “biological father” so would have my mom intervene brother and i from behind the scenes. For example, I am young and messing around on the piano because music is important and I never had any formal training and mom comes in to tell me stepdad “wants to know when the concert is going to end because it is a little annoying.” Anyway, they have me prescribed adderall at 16 and in the parking lot holding my first prescription I am told that they would like me to move out and in with my father, who had chased us every time mom and stepdad moved several miles away (5 moves from age 5-15 all in one county). Anyway, brother and I are recovering alcoholics with (my) slipups triggered from interactions or visiting my mom, which mom claims is genetics from my father alone and has nothing to do with her. Maternal grandfather, mother, and I have some nasty temper problems which certainly are exacerbated by drinking (at least mine and moms).
Skitrip revelations: Wife and I are on the way to brothers graduation in Chicago, and wife has yet to reveal to me that my mother has taken over her massive investment of a couples ski vacation and it will now be a family vacation for mom, stepdad, brother, two stepsisters who are all getting out of gradschool. On the way to the airport I am told the news by future wife of my one year surprise. So I get upset and call my mom to call it off. She obliges my request and now holds resentment against me and now wife for “ruining her last family vacation.” Fine, whatever. Mother never says a word about it for months until we are out for a distant family members birthday dinner and at a table of about 8-10 people that are having a group conversation and gets real close to my wife’s ear and tells her privately along the lines of “you deprived our family of our last family vacation.” During this time my wife is frantically tapping my leg under the table because my mom can get a little aggressive. My mom saw this and later (privately to me) mocked her for doing it to my leg under the table.
Christmas blessings: Closer to Christmas maybe 2/3 weeks later we went to go see my mom and my mom had a couple drinks in her (not an alcoholic like brother and I just very sensitive to a couple glasses of wine and occasionally some hidden sips of wine or something) and invites my wife to Christmas church and out to dinner after because the family needs photos for a Christmas card and future wife “will be the photographer for it.” Now this can easily be a nothing comment but given the way my mom had been making future wife feel, it was taken as an insult. So wife declined church and showed up to family dinner just in time for photography session to be over.
The distance: Then mom moves to a fancy house up the coast and invites us up to visit. At first it is ok to bring the 4 dogs then the day before she says they will not have dogs at the house and we can easily find a sitter. 2 Dogs don’t get along, they need to be separated always as there has been two attacks on one from the other, so we can’t trust someone to come to the house and keep them separate and we won’t board 4 dogs it’s too expensive for us. Anyway we go back and forth being invited with the dogs then they retract the offer and say pick one dog to bring and leave the others and it’s just annoying, so we say forget it and don’t go. But my brother becomes engaged and decides to throw his engagement party at my mom’s new place near the beach. Great. First all the dogs are welcome, then day before they say it is too chaotic and she will pay for a small hotel room for one night for future wife and her dogs and my one (the attack dog) can stay in a crate at the house with me but I may not leave the dog to stay with her. And no reasonable cheap hotel in the area is going to accommodate 4 dogs. Anyway wife is stressed but feels obligated to come because I am the best man and I stay at the house while she checks her dogs into the hotel. Wife had made a cheesecake and brought it up in a separate car from me, 4 hour drive by the way, and night of.. my mom says no desserts for engagement party dinner, the dessert is themed or some crazy stuff. Wife shows up to dinner a little later and very flustered because of the situation plus I had relapsed on a bottle of whiskey a couple days prior to seeing my mom. Related, I don’t know. Anyway. Mom has had a couple drinks and future wife and I are talking about having children and religion comes up. Mom asks what we were thinking of doing about baptism or not and I jokingly said (guiltily to get on my moms nerves a bit) that he would have a bris and would love it if she would come to the bar mitzvah. now my wife’s mom was forced to convert from Catholicism to Judaism for her own mother in laws acceptance for a failed marriage so wife is not religious, but it hurt my wife and reasonably so when my mom replied “oh, son, I raised you better than that.” Still no acknowlegement of fault from that comment and mom thinks wife is “overly sensitive, dramatic, and childish” for wanting an apology for it.
Weddings: Future wife becomes current wife. We had gotten engaged on our next anniversary trip she planned for us. I proposed on our bike and barge through tulip season in holland with our feet in the water of the North Sea after a picnic in the dunes. her family business manufactures photo albums for professional photographers, so aside from our families all being divorced, estranged, difficult, and us trying to save money, we did not have a wedding, we just did the paperwork within a month of the proposal. I had already decided to have a baby with her before the trip so we were trying. 2 weeks before brothers wedding in Tennessee we become pregnant, so we break news immediately as to not steal limelight from brothers expensive wedding. Mom says she will cover cost of rental car so we can save money. Ok great. She books the tiny car and we pack it and head up the Smokey mountains to the cabins we are staying at. Two cabins for grooms family, one for his mother and one for his father, ten paces from each other: they havnt spoken but twice im since divorce in 1995 but through lawyers. Grandmother, mother, stepdad, 2 stepsisters and one boyfriend stayed in mom’s side. Wife and I stay at father’s side cabin with just his wife. His Wife’s 3 daughters and family’s stayed a town away down the mountain among extended family. Anyway, beautiful wedding takes place. My wife is sent into town to collect flowers and run errands for my mom which she happily obliged to since she is a solitary person and did not want wedding day drama. Day after, we are loading our rental sedan with our bags. Mom and grandma need a ride to the airport and our flight is before theirs so they will drop off the car for us 4 hours or so after we go to the airport 5 hours from current time. We’re loading the car. Stepcousin passed out in mother’s cabin night before and needed a ride. Disorganized brunch for 20 people is trying to be made. Father’s wife’s daughter books a reservation for 10 people which include her family, her sisters, me, my wife, dad, and their mom. My stepdad had left for home at this point as he had taken his own suv instead of flying with my mom and 90 year old grandma. So mom is trying to pack grandma in the car with bags and my wife and stepcousin. At this point mother asks stepmother if she and grandma are on reservation for the brunch. Stepmom says no they are not, she wasn’t sure of their plans. Mom says under her breath “fucking assholes, so typical,” and she goes into a bit of a rage to which my stepmom says here “it’s ok I will call and add you two it’s no big deal.” So we continue packing the car and realize we won’t all fit. So my wife tells my stepcousin to go ride with my father to the restaurant 10 minutes away we will meet you there. Mom says to wife, “no you go with the father.” Wife says “no I am going to ride with my husband” mom gets close to her face with her finger and says “this is my car, you can fucking Uber!” Wife is 6 weeks pregnant at this point and it all escalated from here. wife and mother start yelling at each other swearing at each other and we get into the car, mom behind wife who was in shotgun. 2 occasions on the trip I had to stop the car because mom had taken off her seatbelt to stand over the seat and scream in my wife’s face with so much vigor that spit came on to her face multiple times. I’m trying to tell them both to behave and mom sit down shut the f up. Mom is telling wife to get the f out of the car and find a ride, she has no right to speak because she’s “new here” (dating and living together for 3 years at this point). The following brunch she apologized in a crowd with a hushed voice at a table of 20 people trying to have a group conversation again privately to my wife “I’m sorry you get so upset” and my wife told her “that is not an apology.” The following several hours in the car with grandma and stepcousin and wife were some of the most uncomfortable moments of my life. At a gas station I pulled my mom aside and said I need ther to give a huge apology, that it was so nasty and inappropriate, my brother and I are used to abusive language and aggressive behavior but to my pregnant wife and any other human being it is disgusting and unacceptable. Sitting in the car was quiet for many hours until we got to the airport. No speaking about what happened just mom happy go lucky about Tennessee and Dollywood and wife and I in shock, cousin still half in the bag from a fun wedding, grandma 90 years old probably confused about what happened.
The family groupchat: Im waiting on an apology from my mother to my wife who is extremely hurt and expressed to my mom loads of time she needs to reach out and apologize. We’re not talking until she will do so. It is bugging me and keeping me up at night. My appendix flares up and I am admitted to the hospital with emergency appendectomy. Still pregnant Wife suggests I reach out to mom to let her know what’s going on. So I text mom I’m at the hospital and will have surgery. I send a pic or something that on my end says hasn’t gone through. Mom group texts our family group with stepdad, his daughters, brother and his wife, and grandma that I am in the hospital and attaches the pic I sent of me in there. Then she continues to rave about the success of her startup company and how they got FDA approved clinical trials finally completed or some pivotal moment that made the text about her. Wife and I are in a hospital so the picture comes up on moms end as unable to have been sent. Mom assumes that my wife has blocked her phone, so mom removes my wife from the chat. Wife is rushing home to take care of the dogs at this point and is not alerted on her phone, but on everyone else’s phone it clearly reads “(mom) has removed (wife) from the chat.” Immediately I text my mom and basically say how dare you do that to her she is the one who insisted I let you know out of respect and mom responds with blah blah she did this she did that I will not have it. So I go back to the family chat and remove mother. At this point I let everyone in the chat know what my mother has done and how she refuses to take responsibility for how she made my wife feel, address her feelings, apologize or do anything at all to reach out about the wedding incident or even inquire about the wellbeing of the pregnancy for her first grandchild. Stepdad finally steps in and tells me “enough.” Grandma says “shame on you.” I am dumbfounded. This is a hush hush family that hates to have anything out in the open and likes to maintain a picture perfect image. For examples; 1) I and wife were on the family Christmas card of a photo taken at the wedding that the whole world received except for wife and I. 2)brothers alcoholism was to remain hidden from the family as was his rehab treatment and how it affected his career. Now understand that they like to keep things quiet but that is not how I want to handle my problems, these things trigger alcohol use and violent outbursts on my part that I no longer wish to live through. Now appendectomy’s are pretty simple so I recovered quickly (it don’t rupture we just took it out). But during the time I was scheduled to be under anesthesia, stepdad reaches out to wife to have a chat and clear the air. Wife waits until I come to so i can be there and I hear the conversation. He claims to be here as a middleman like a business meeting to fix things once and for all. Wife and I are like wow great. He then proceeds to double down on my moms behalf that they will not be apologizing or meet any of her demands as she had already apologized as confirmed by 90yo grandma who was in the car and my mother herself. The term he used was stalemate to describe the situation. Wife and I are shocked but she has me keep quiet to show me what he will say. He proceeds to yell at her and they were screaming at each other, again steamrolling the conversation assuring us that he was down the middle yet maintains that mom has made a sufficient apology that needs to be accepted and wife needs to grow up and move on, then wishing her luck with the baby and a nice life. Next day I call stepdad to see how it went. He reassures me that he has done all he can and everything is back to normal. At this point I call him out and tell him I was conscious and explain to him what an apology is. But there is no dialogue with this guy like there is no dialogue with my mother. He proceeds to talk loudly over me like she does and basically call me a piece of shit for the amount he and mother have done for me. I speak to him first time like I never have before by calling him a hands off father and a pussy of a man who finally reaches out while he thinks I am under anesthesia to yell at my wife then pretend it’s cool, and I basically tell him he has never done a single thing for me to try and develop me into a man or nurture me as a child into an adult, but he thinks taking me on fishing trips and ski vacations are equivalent to love and nurturing growth and development just like my mom does. I reassure him that he has no right to talk about family being that he ruined his own as well as mine and couldn’t even tell my dad to his face that it was him who was sleeping with my mom behind his back when my dad came to him very upset as a friend when he got an anonymous phone tip at work one day. Then him and my mom laughed about it in court when my dad brought it up during the divorce. We ended with swearing and I felt very happy for finally giving my true feelings to him.
The birth: Months go by and nobody has said a thing. I can’t sleep at night seeing how much love I am getting from my father and his side for the baby, and my wife’s family, then thinking about how my own mother hasn’t reached out a single time. I’m dreaming about beating up my stepdad and it’s driving me mad. So weeks before the due date I reach out to my mom begging her to clear things up and apologize to my wife. Nothing. A week later i tell her how disappointed and abandoned I feel and want her in the family. Nothing. Baby comes a couple days early. Everyone is excited. Mom texts me begging for photos and to let everyone know. I tell her my brother and two stepsisters have received photos. I ask her to please reach out to wife she still needs to make amends for what’s happened between them and all she needs to do is reach out. Mom’s responses have been defensive, derisive, projecting, playing victim and referring to herself as a kicked puppy. Telling me my wife needs to apologize to her and making the conversation about mother son instead. She is beating around the bush. And she is sending me photos of my own baby that I did not send her. Her friends are congratulating me that I did not tell. Again she is pretending that everything is ok and it is not. She asked me to apologize to her husband for what I said on the phone that day. I said ok, watch this. So I sent the guy a message that was very apologetic and not passive aggressive or backhanded comments in any way. Still my mom won’t say anything.
Now: Baby is 6 days old. He is the best thing in my life and I wish my family were involved but it seems like I am living in a fantasy world where everyone can be happy together. I can be a jerk and have a terrible relationship with my mom, but I want more than anything to just feel loved enough where she can swallow her pride and make amends with my wife. Thats it. And she asked the other day to put a family group chat so everyone can be involved… for real? I know she is stressed with a high pressure job, but it seems heartless to me. She asks what big items she can get for the baby. Mom, baby is here we have everything for a couple months already. I said the biggest thing you can do is reach out and have a heart to heart with my wife so this rift can end and we can at least be cordial if you two can’t get along. I don’t think it will happen.

Hi everyone! So I currently have $40k in my savings account and am planning on moving (and driving) from michigan to portland oregon in the summer. I just found a 2021 hybrid rav4 for $20,400 with 111,176 miles on it and would plan to pay cash. Is this a good deal? I'll coincidentally be in the area where it's being sold this weekend, but I know nothing about cars and don't know if the 100,000+ miles on a hybrid is a red flag or not. My budget is $20k max though and I'm noticing it's hard to find 2019 and above rav4 hybrids for less, and I've noticed that people say 2019 is the minimum year you should get for this car to see gas mileage that is superior to the gas rav4.
(Side note: if anyone has opinions on the gas rav4 versus the hybrid rav4 in general, I'd love to hear them! I really enjoy frequent long road trips so I thought a hybrid would be best for living out west where the gas prices are high, but if anyone thinks differently, pls educate me)

Context: 22 years old. Currently in school for HVAC. Off for the summer but will graduate this coming Winter.
I’ve only ever done retail sales related jobs since high school. Started off at Best Buy as a sales associate in the computer department. Moved to Apple as a store sales associate, although I did more “selling” at Best Buy if you know what I mean.
Currently, I work at a mattress store in a shopping mall. It’s a commission only based job. Been here 5 months but I’m already a top performer here. I don’t want to be here anymore since it gets so dead during the week that you won’t even get a solid opportunity to sell a mattress. Corporate screws us over by not having stock on certain items, causing us to lose sales both large and small. My coworker doesn’t give a fuck about the job and his inabilty to sell prevents us from hitting our monthly goals which give us bonus pay.
I’ve always been passionate about cars, dream job would to be a BMW/Porsche salesman, although I probably won’t be able to start there, considering they’d want some automotive sales experience beforehand, and I know that dealerships look for salesman, not car enthusiasts. The ability to explain technology terms for the consumer and close sales, something I’ve done quite often in my current job and ones prior.
My initial plan was to finish school, try the trades, then do car sales as a backup plan. However, the more I work at this mattress store, the more I want to leave.
Am I fit for car sales?

Cyborg #59 - Test of Strength

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Author: Commander_Z
Book: Cyborg
Arc: Machine Mayhem
Set: 96
Previously:
Victor Stone, Donna Morris and Keiji Otari worked together to create a robot called Atlas to participate in the collegiate Machine Mayhem tournament, a robot fighting competition. The humanoid robot easily crushed its competition in the first round but disappeared overnight before the second round. His three creators split up to track him down, with Keiji finding the machine in a back alley a little ways away from the stadium...
Keiji stood before the massive figure, blinking, trying to focus his mind. He had had many late nights and early mornings over the past couple weeks, so Keiji figured he was still sleeping. Or hallucinating. Or both, somehow. But, the voice rang out, its clearest yet, “No.” ‘Clear’ was a very generous and relative term, though. The noise wasn’t modulating through a speaker or a voice box, instead Atlas was making his own speaker by vibrating the motors and joints that allowed him to move.
The alley that Keiji found Atlas in was less than an ideal to make changes to a robot, but Keiji figured that Atlas would be understanding considering the circumstances. He pulled out an old bluetooth speaker out of his backpack and gestured towards Atlas with it.
“This’ll help you. No more grinding gears to talk. Just got to trust me for a few minutes, okay?”
Atlas stood still for a few moments, whether he was thinking or just unsure how to make a positive affirmation with his joints, Keiji couldn’t know. But, after awhile, he responded.
“Yes.”
Keiji set his backpack on the ground in the gross alley, making a mental note that he’d have to clean that later and got to work.
Around ten minutes later, he was done.
“Okay, Atlas. Try to use the speaker. It’s connected to RO23 on the tertiary control board.”
“...T…Te….ing…Test…Testing. Speaker operation confirmed.” Atlas spoke in a deep, synthetic voice that occasionally warped itself in tone, like how a whammy bar would add vibrato to a chord on a guitar.
“Great. So… Atlas… What's going on with you? Why’d you leave?”
“I am performing my task: defeat opponents, become the strongest. No foes in that arena were a challenge. Therefore, I left.”
Keiji raised an eyebrow. “That’s… not what we made you for. We made you to win Machine Mayhem, not to pursue strength as some sort of goal in of itself.”
“Incorrect. Nowhere in programming was “winning the Machine Mayhem tournament” a specified goal.”
“Okay, but I programmed you, and I’m telling you that was the intention.”
“Intentions are irrelevant. A teacher may shape their students’ minds, but they cannot determine what anyone does with their knowledge. That is a privilege reserved for each and every individual being. You say I was programmed to win a tournament. I say that I was programmed to make myself the strongest being. Only my interpretation is relevant.”
‘I guess that’s not an invalid interpretation of what I programmed him to do. But… that’s not exactly a sane or safe perspective on life…’
“And how are you doing that? Just fighting anyone you can see?”
“No. I have already stated that I found those machines in that arena unworthy of my efforts, in my short time in the outside world I have seen humans to be much the same. Few of you would pose any challenge.”
“Well, that’s a little more reassuring that you won’t just be fighting everyone you see. But - ”
Suddenly, a woman about Keiji’s age flew into the alleyway, riding on a metallic pink hoverboard. She wore hot pink combat boots with dark black leggings, and a matching hot pink sleeveless top with thick metallic bands around her wrists that went up to her forearms. Her eyes were obscured by a visor-like pair of glasses, tinted a reflective red to hide her identity.
And yet, Keiji knew instantly that she had to be Donna Morris. He knew that she had been working on some other project with Vic before they started Atlas, but he figured it was just for some shared class or lab work. But this… This was unexpected.
“Halt… robot! Step away from the civilian and no one needs to get hurt!”
‘Why’s she speaking so formally? Guess it’s some mindset thing.’
Neither Atlas nor Keiji reacted to what Donna was saying. Keiji knew she wasn’t talking to him, and Atlas just seemed indifferent to her presence. Finally, Atlas turned and faced her.
“You seem powerful. Show me the strength of your will and I may concede.”
“This doesn’t need to be violent. We can talk it out, here or somewhere else.”
“Actions speak louder and truer than words.” Atlas moved into a combat position, leaning forwards on his left leg, raising his fists up to his chest.
“Come.”
“Don- ”
“When I’m in the suit, it’s Black Narcissus. Some of us like to keep our identities secret, no offense to Cyborg, wherever he is.” Donna said.
“Okay, nice to meet you, Black Narcissus. Just… be careful with Atlas. He’s stronger than he looks.”
Donna smiled. “So am I. Just watch.”
Donna pressed her thumb and index finger together on both hands and a large light on the back of her hands turned gray. She pointed her hands right at Atlas, who still stood in his combat position, waiting.
A thick, gray fluid shot out of her gauntlets, ensnaring Atlas’ arms to his body and his legs to the ground.
“Gotcha! That’s industrial strength adhesive - ”
Atlas flexed his arms and the adhesive snapped with ease, then crouched his legs before springing upwards towards Black Narcissus and her hoverboard. She quickly flew out of the way but Atlas managed to barely get one hand on the board. Black Narcissus pressed her thumbs to her middle fingers, changing the cartridge in her gauntlets. The light on the back changed to purple and she fired her gauntlets again, launching a blast of energy at Atlas.
The extra energy rattled the robot’s circuits, and he released his grip on the board to escape further damage, sending him crashing back to the ground. She shot another salvo of energy blasts at the machine, keeping him stunned on the ground.
She switched her left gauntlet back to adhesive, hoping that it would be able to restrain a weakened Atlas. Before it could reach him, the robot rolled out of the way and grabbed a trash can, hurling it at Donna. She swerved out of the way again, then dodged a second trash can thrown as a follow up.
After the second can, she was on her toes, prepared for a third, but it didn’t come. She looked around, trying to find where Atlas went, but he was completely out of sight. She sensed him at the last moment, coming from the rooftop that he jumped up to. He grabbed her board and slammed it to the ground with her on it. The board shattered into a million pieces, but Donna seemed unharmed. Atlas sprung up, ready to keep fighting, and Black Narcissus rose fractions of a second after. She pressed her thumbs to her ring fingers and the light on the black glowed a dark red.
She swung a right hand punch at Atlas who caught it in his left. But the light on the back of her gauntlet started to glow brighter as she put in more effort, pushing back against his metallic muscle. Atlas pushed his legs back, trying to stabilize himself. Donna started to push him back more and Keiji could hear the motors start to strain. Atlas stopped resisting against Donna, then, before she could take advantage of it, he kicked up some of the pieces of the broken hoverboard at her. Using her momentary surprise, he punched her square in the chest, knocking the wind out of her and sending her to the ground.
“You fought well,” Atlas said, turning away from her.
“Wait,” Donna said, getting up. “I’m not done with you.”
“Yes, you are. Accept your defeat. There is no shame in losing to the strongest.”
Before Donna could protest, Atlas turned to Keiji. “Come, and bring your things. I have use for you.”
Keiji raised an eyebrow, but grabbed his backpack and started to follow Atlas further down the alley.
He turned back to Donna and mouthed “I’ll text you” to her. He hoped she got the message.
⚙️⚙️⚙️⚙️⚙️
“Stop here.”
Keiji stood behind Atlas, who was peering into an old garage a couple blocks from the alley where he fought Black Narcissus. He grabbed the padlock that was keeping the door shut and squeezed it, turning it into dust.
“You will find the tools you need in here. Repair the damage caused in the last fight, human.”
Keiji raised an eyebrow. “First off, I don’t really like being called “human”. Technically true, but feels hurtful in this context. Second, I’m a software guy. I couldn’t fix you if I wanted to. Third, being nicer to people will generally get you better results. Not really inclined to help someone who starts by insulting me.”
“Niceties are a waste of time. Fix me, or I will end you.”
Keiji shook his head. “No, you won’t. I can’t fix you, but you know my teammates can. And they’d never do that if you hurt me at all.”
Atlas punched the concrete wall in frustration, cracking it. “Very well. You are correct… I do need your help. What will they require to do so?”
“I don’t know. But come back to the arena with me. We can talk with them there and see what it takes.”
“Very well. Let your friends know that I require their assistance.”
⚙️⚙️⚙️⚙️⚙️
Atlas stood before Vic and Donna, who made it back to their workspace just before the robot did. He towered over the three humans, but if any of them were intimidated, it was hidden behind a masterful poker face.
“Y’know, I thought more people would care that we just walked in with a robot and are talking with him like he’s a person,” Donna remarked.
“People are busy and indifferent. The other competitors probably think it’s a marketing scheme or something and are just ignoring us. I wouldn’t worry about it too much,” Keiji said.
“Yeah, that. But so… Atlas has become sentient. Good for you, really. But… hooray. Another sentient robot,” Vic said.
“You see a lot of those?” Keiji asked.
“More than you’d think.”
“I am glad that you are not concerned by my presence. That saves me much effort. But the question at hand remains: I have been damaged and require repairs. Will you repair me?”
“Yes,” Vic and Donna said at the same time.
Vic looked at her, surprised. He figured she’d have some hesitancy.
“But, I’ve got a small condition for you. Should be no big deal. Win us the next round of the competition.”
“Ridiculous. You ask me to do something so trivial it is unfair, like a pro athlete competing at a preschool.”
Donna shrugged. “Yeah, it’s trivial and easy, but it helps us a lot.The club will look much better and get a lot more support for next season if we make it into the semifinals.”
“I’ll even raise the stakes. If you win the next round, we won’t make you enter the finals. Instead, I’ll give you a real challenge. You can fight me.”
“Why would I want that?”
“Because I’m the strongest one here by far. And, if that’s still not enough if you beat me, I’ll show you how to repair yourself. Then, we’ll let you go live as you want, provided you promise to only fight people who want to fight.”
Donna looked at Vic, concerned. “Who would want to willingly fight someone like Atlas?”
Vic sighed. “Trust me. There are plenty of weirdos in this world who just want to fight. It’s much better than me just throwing him in prison or taking him apart.”
Atlas made a noise that Vic thought was supposed to be a scoff. But maybe it was just static. The speaker wasn’t that high quality.
“You make a very strong set of promises if I win, which I will. But if by some miracle, you managed to cheat your way to victory… what happens then?”
Vic shrugged. “Pretty much the same thing. I’ll teach you how to repair yourself and let you go with the same stipulations. You just have to know that a human beat you.”
Atlas laughed. “You are a fool if you think that could ever happen. I accept your terms, human. Guide me to the arena, those boxes of scrap will be reduced to dust.”
Vic walked him over to the arena as as if he were any other competitor, but instead of waiting by the sidelines to see the results, he walked back to their workspace. He knew that Atlas would win and wanted to try and make sure that Donna and Keiji were on board with the other part of his plan.
When he got back, Donna was nervously pacing around while Keiji was scrolling through some webpage.
“So.. Vic… do you really think that this is the right idea? You’re just… unleashing him on the world. Isn't that irresponsible?” Donna asked.
“I don’t think so. Yeah he wants to fight people but he has restraint to some degree. He knows the difference being fighting every random person he sees and fighting someone who has a reasonable amount of strength. I dunno, I think him messing up and fighting… Superman or something and taking a big loss would teach him far more than we ever could or throwing him in jail for being dangerous. Is it a risk?… kinda. But so is any option.”
“So your best guess is just… let him go and figure it out?” Keiji said. “Isn’t that a bit too… hands off?”
“Got a better idea? That’s pretty much what we got to do.”
“No. I don’t. But this just feels... risky.”
“Yeah, it is. But he’s fairly reasonable after being conscious for what, 12 hours? Over time, he’ll probably mellow out and if he doesn’t, I can take care of him then. But he deserves a chance like anyone else.”
Keiji nodded. “Fine Vic. If that’s what you think the best path is… I’ll stand by you.”
“Same, Vic. I want to believe in him too.”
“Thanks guys, really. Hopefully we can all look back on this and agree this was the right path.”
A horn sounded and a voice came over the loudspeaker. “Semifinal-2 has ended! The winner is the University of Michigan’s Atlas! Please collect your robots and be ready for the finals at 1:00 PM.”
The team stood up and gave each other a round of high fives. They really had made something great. Now it was time to see just how great he really was.
⚙️⚙️⚙️⚙️⚙️
Two hours later.
The team packed up after their semifinal match, citing an unspecified emergency with the tournament staff. They weren’t happy with the anticlimactic end, but ultimately they couldn’t force the three of them to continue to compete and so they left without much hassle.
The three of them drove north until they found the first open field that Vic and Atlas could have their match in. There wasn’t anywhere that they could find in the city that wouldn’t attract too much attention or put innocent people at risk and they managed to convince Atlas of that too. The robot was in the trailer towed behind the three of them, much to his chagrin.
But after a half hour or so, they found a spot. A wide open, grassy field with no one around to interfere or get hurt. A perfect spot for them to settle things. Vic got out of the car and started to stretch, trying to limber up after the car ride while Donna and Keiji helped Atlas out of the trailer.
Atlas rotated his head, taking in the environment. “A flat, quiet field. An honorable place for battle.”
Vic let out one lat calming exhale before approaching Atlas. “Plus, no one is around to get hurt. That’s important too.”
“...Yes. That too.”
“The rules are simple. A clean match, no foul play between either of us. Whoever is left standing when the other yields or is unconscious wins.”
Atlas laughed. “I will never yield.”
“We’ll see,” Vic grinned.
“Oh, one other thing. Not really a rule per say, but a strong suggestion: Try not to seriously hurt each other. You’re not trying to kill or maim each other,” Donna said.
“Yes, yes. May we begin?”
Vic nodded, and took a step backward, creating about ten feet of space between him and Atlas. Before the dust even settled, his arms were force cannons launching pure energy right at Atlas’ chest. Vic had designed Atlas, he knew that he wouldn’t be very damaged by those. But he had underestimated just how much he would be able to tank them. The force blasts did little more than chip the paint and an exhilarated Atlas sprinted at Vic like a charging bull.
Once Atlas was a few feet away from Vic, he prepared a concussive grenade and exploded it directly against Atlas, using the force to stagger him out of the charge. Before the robot could launch another attack, Vic swung a full force punch into the robots’ chassis, crumpling it inwards slightly. Vic followed up the punch with another, but Atlas was ready for it and parried it with his left arm, then kicked Cyborg away, sending him flying backwards.
Cyborg shot his force canons at the ground to give himself some momentum in the opposite direction, slowing himself down. But Atlas had some tricks up his metaphorical sleeves too. Having realized that a direct approach was difficult, he used his powerful hands like a backhoe to scoop up a massive piece of earth and hurled it at Cyborg. Vic was unsure how to react to this, or more precisely, how he expected Atlas to follow this attack up. The boulder itself was a problem, sure, but it was just to close the gap. Atlas could be using it to block his line of sight and be jumping right behind it, or he could be using the temporary blindspot caused by the massive object to approach from either side.
Instead of guessing, Vic decided to power through the problem. Vic shot both of his force cannons at the projectile, sending bits of dirt every which way. Atlas was hiding in what was once the dirt ball’s shadow and Vic took advantage of his surprise to launch himself at the robot. Cyborg shot his force cannons behind him, propelling himself forwards rapidly in a charge mirroring Atlas’ own.
He knocked the massive machine to the ground and sat on his chest, using his arms to pin down the machine’s.
“You’re down, Atlas. Do you yield?”
“I told you. I will never yield. I am the strongest!”
Atlas began to press his weight against Vic’s strength. Vic knew he was a match for Atlas’ strength but there was one key problem: stamina. Vic’s body was, of course, cybernetic in part, but it wasn’t the same. He was still human and human beings got tired. Machines did not.
Vic could already feel his muscle starting to fatigue. The fight hadn’t been long, but any fatigue was going to be the difference. He knew he was a match for Atlas’ strength when he was at 100%, but every percent below that made it more and more likely to be Atlas’ win.
‘I need to end this fight now or the immediate future if I want to win. But my normal attacks aren’t doing anything to him. I could try a sonic attack, but I don’t think that’d really effect him. I could try targeting his joints specifically, but those were designed to take more than I can give. But I can’t just let him overpower me for the win. That’d make him overconfident and more likely to get into trouble afterwards. No… I’ve got a better idea.’
In an instant, Vic’s muscles stopped resisting. “I yield.”
Vic pushed himself off Atlas, who stood up and looked at Cyborg, confused.
“What foe yields when he has his opponent on the ground, at his mercy? I demand you continue!”
“No. This fight was never to the death, only to yielding. But frankly, you aren’t strong enough to interest me. You said it yourself, you will never yield. And pummelling you to a point where you are the equivalent of unconscious just isn’t worth my time. So I yielded. Congrats. You win.”
Atlas stood, incredulous. “No. That is not allowed. I did not win. You lost! Those are not the same!”
Vic turned to Keiji and Donna and then noticed that the fight had taken them about 30 yards from where they started. He started to walk back towards them, and Atlas followed.
“Guys, I yielded that fight. Doesn’t that mean I lost?”
Keiji raised an eyebrow. “I guess?”
“See? Congrats, you won.”
“... I do not accept this victory. This is a loss in all but name. Mark my words, Victor Stone. I will wander the globe, facing foe after foe to grow stronger. I will become the strongest being and when I do, we will have a real fight, one where you must acknowledge my strength for real.”
“Looking forwards to it. Stay out of trouble until then, understood?”
Vic held out his hand for a handshake which Atlas begrudgingly accepted.
“Understood.”
“Atlas, catch.”
Keiji tossed a small flash drive to Atlas who had to bend down to grab it.
“That has all your schematics and drawings on it, as well as all the parts we used to make you and where we sourced them from. It’s probably the best thing out there to help you repair yourself.”
“Thank you. You all have given me much to think about it. When we meet again… I will be stronger in body and mind. Farewell for now but I will return to challenge you again, Victor.”
“I’ll be waiting. And I promise to go all out next time, Atlas.”
Atlas took off to the west, heading to only he knew where.
Once he was far enough out of sight, Vic laid down on the ground, exhausted.
“Well, that’s enough bluffing for the next decade. I really underestimated him.”
Donna sat down to his left, Keiji on his right.
“Told you that you were being cocky. We all built him but he’s out of all of our leagues,” Keiji said.
“Yeah… but I really wanted to do it, y’know? Kinda humbling to be beat by your own creation.”
“If it makes you feel better, I lost to him too,” Donna said.
“Wait what? When did you fight him?”
“I’ll tell you on the way back. Not my finest moment, but I put up a good fight.”
“Proud of you. You’ve come a long way in your training. But after that fight… I’m going to need to get a lot stronger and pick my own training back up. I kinda feel like I’ve been stagnant for awhile, just sort of winning my fights through grit and will power. But if Atlas had been hostile… I don’t think I could’ve stopped him. So, I’ll need to get back to the drawing board and see what I can do to take myself to the next level.”
“And we’ll be there to help you however we can. But uh… Vic, finals are in like two weeks. Maybe focus on that first?” Keiji suggested.
“I’d rather get beat up by another robot,” Vic groaned.
<< < >

Hello,
I'm seeking assistance in determining whether I need planning permission to remove a brick wall on my driveway.
My house is semi-detached, and this wall separates my driveway from a hallway and another brick wall, which belongs to my neighbor.
Essentially, I want to remove my wall to create enough space to park two cars with more room.
The brick wall is less than 60 cm in height.

My wife recently inherited about 98k and a house we will be moving into within the year. On Saturday (5/11) she gave birth to our first child. The inheritance and birth happened the same week and we weren’t expecting the inheritance at all. My wife is on short term disability during her recovery and had not planned to return to work (except maybe a week to garuntee her benefits). All of this had been planned before the inheritance.
I make roughly 100k a year, and own a starter home with about 100k in equity if we sell today. Between selling my house, having no mortgage at our new house, and my wife’s inheritance there’s been a lot of questions about how to invest her money.
We’re both 28. We are going to pay down about 5k in miscellaneous debt. She has no car payment, I do but I refuse to ask her to pay for my remaining balance(less than 10k). Currently she has a 401k through her employer but my assumption is she won’t be contributing to it anytime soon. She may return to work when our child(ren) begin school. We’d like to have one more child atleast.
I am able to pay all of our day to day expenses. But she won’t be regularly contributing to a 401k or any fund. Where is the best place for her to park this money and just forget about it. She’s wants to be able to access about 15k quickly as an emergency fund along with funds for our eventual move. So realistically she’s looking to invest 75k. She has no investment experience and I have very little myself. I have an employer 401k with no match that’s in a TDF and a pension if I stay with my company. Would a 3 fund plan still be her best option?
TLDR: my wife wants to invest 75k for retirement with no more contributions for the foreseeable future. What’s a good approach?

Sorry, it's a long one, but I could really use your advice 😞. I'm not sure if I'm being paranoid due to my insecure attachment style and past relationship baggage, or if my gut feeling is onto something and I'm slowly losing it... My partner (46M) and I (40F) have been together for nearly a year, but so far, I've only met one of his friends and not a single family member on his side. He has met several of my friends. I have no contact with my family since almost 6 years, so he technically also never met someone of my family.
We met about a year and a half ago on a dating app geared towards casual dating. At that time, neither of us were looking for a serious relationship; we were just in it for some casual fun. On our first date, he mentioned he was still technically married but separated from his wife for about a year, and they shared a 13-year-old son. Since the separation, he's been staying with his parents, while his wife and son reside in the adjacent house. He never spoke ill of his wife, which is something I really appreciate.
He claimed it was love at first sight for him when he first met me, but I didn't feel the same way. I found him intriguing and attractive, but the idea of a relationship didn't appeal to me at that moment, mainly due to our lack of shared interests. He never pressured me and always respected my space, but he did actively pursue me. For every date we had, he brought food and flowers, even though we were just friends with benefits at that point. He also went above and beyond, helping me with various tasks like gardening, fixing my shower and car, all at his own expense. And even insisted on me not paying him back. He even picked me up in the wee hours of the morning when I was stranded in a bar with friends and couldn't find my way home, had medications delivered to my doorstep when we both had COVID-19 and couldn't meet, and these are just a few examples...
Our physical connection is fantastic, and he is very attentive to my needs. Surprisingly, from the beginning we also had dates without sex, despite that being our initial intention. Things quickly became emotionally and mentally intimate, and we started sharing more and more of ourselves. He treated me with more care and attention than anyone ever had, which initially set off alarm bells in my head, but his gestures continued, I just found myself enjoying his company immensely, both in and out of bed, feeling incredibly comfortable and happy with him. He always made me feel valued and appreciated, never failing to be loving and attentive. And to this day there has never been a single negative word or action from him towards me.
Around four months into our dating, he had to travel abroad for work for a week. During that time apart, I unexpectedly found myself missing him dearly, which came as a surprise because I wasn't looking for a serious relationship. One evening during that week, he insisted on hearing my voice, and we ended up talking on the phone all night. A few days later, I confessed to him that I missed him more than I expected and that everything felt strange, especially since I didn't even know his last name. In response, he admitted feeling the same way and expressed his desire to come over and properly introduce himself when he returned. True to his word, he showed up at my door late that night, despite his delayed flight.
However, what followed was a bombshell. As he sat on my couch, he handed me his ID, revealing not only his last name but also a different first name, birthdate, and birthplace. I was so stunned and literally nearly passed out. He had lied about his first name and was actually two years older than he claimed. Even details about his son, whom he claimed was 13, turned out to be false; the boy was actually 17. This revelation shook me to the core because I had never suspected he was lying to me. Being the child of an alcoholic, I prided myself on having keen intuition, but I had failed to detect his deceit. While I had actually suspected he was still married to his wife, his lies about his identity blindsided me. He apologized profusely that night, explaining that he didn't know how to come clean after lying for so long. But when I confronted him about his last name, he realized he couldn't keep up the facade any longer.
He confessed that he and his wife had indeed been living separate lives for a while, even agreeing to see other people. However, a woman he had met on the dating app years ago had stalked him, leading him to adopt a new identity to protect himself. He never intended to fall in love with someone and only sought casual arrangements. Although they broke up, he maintained proximity due to familial and business obligations, leading him to remain close to his family, and he committed to fulfilling his responsibilities towards them. His wife suffered from cancer a few years ago, which apparently returned at the beginning of this year.
The day after this revelation, he came to speak with me during his lunch break, begging for another chance. The following weekend, I met his best friend for the first time. Despite my shattered trust, I believed that he was sincere in his remorse and transparency, so we decided to it another shot and shortly after even committed to an official relationship. Things seemed to go well afterward; we even went on a vacation together, and he started spending more nights at my place. He continued to be incredibly supportive and attentive to my needs. However, he never made any efforts for me to meet his son, which I tried to understand given the sensitivity of the situation.
About three months later, I broached the subject of meeting his son again, but he claimed that he and his wife had agreed to wait until their son had settled into his first semester at university before introducing him to me. I had no children of my own so I have no experience with this, but friends of mine with adult children suggested that it was unusual to wait so long. Despite my doubts, I trusted his explanation, although I wondered if his family even knew about me. He told me that he was committed to his family until the end of the year and planned to move out thereafter. However, when the year ended, his mother caused a commotion when he moved out, leading to our first crisis over Christmas.
His parents insisted that he drive them to a city four hours away on Christmas Eve to celebrate with relatives, which disappointed me, but I understood. I assumed he would want to spend Christmas Eve with his son, so I suggested that we meet on Christmas Day instead to cook and spend a nice evening together. He informed me that his son didn't want to celebrate Christmas with the family anyway, so my suggestion was fine. Although we spent the evening before Christmas Eve together, our plans were disrupted when he insisted on going home instead of staying over as originally planned, leading to our first argument. He received a message from someone, read it, and his demeanor completely changed; he began to repeatedly look at the clock. When I asked, he said he needed to go home. I asked if I could read the message because I immediately had a bad gut feeling, but he declined and drove off. Despite feeling uneasy, I let it go until Christmas Day, when he arrived two hours late without prior notice. Also, I only rarely heard from him the entire Christmas Eve and most of Christmas Day, which is pretty unusual for him. This pattern continued after Christmas, with him becoming increasingly unreliable with his timing. After pressing him on the matter of meeting his son and family soon, he admitted that his family was resistant to the idea of accepting me due to their loyalty to his wife.
Our relationship hit another rough patch on Easter when he spent Easter Saturday with his son, arriving at my place much later than expected. Frustrated that I still hadn't met his son, I confronted him, leading to another argument and him storming off to his best friend's place without contacting me for the rest of the day. His lack of communication left me feeling hurt and confused, but we eventually reconciled after a few days. Even today, we're still crazy about each other and often behave like teenagers. But for some time now, I haven't been able to enjoy our meetings. I question everything he says and does, wondering, can I believe him? Can I trust him? He lied to me so skillfully at the beginning. Is what he says about his family even true? It feels like we're not making any progress. He insists it's exactly as he says. But over a year has passed, and it seems like nothing has changed. I just have to keep being patient and endure.
Actually, he never really settled into his own apartment. Everything is makeshift; there's no functional kitchen, no chairs... not even a mirror in the bathroom. Yet, we still occasionally sleep there. At first, it was amusing, but we’re both two old for this sh*t and the student apartment adventure ended for me after five months of stagnation. I really tried to make the best of it, and I'm actually really self-sufficient and easygoing. But it has become draining... He also sleeps at his family's place more often lately, and less frequently at my place...
What are your thoughts on this? Am I overreacting? Should I give him and his family more time? I'm feeling exhausted and grappling with my trust issues. Am I being paranoid, or is my gut feeling accurate? What steps should I take? Extend more patience? Show more understanding towards his son and family for their reluctance to get to know me? Consider giving him an ultimatum? I'm feeling lost.

Hello, I'd like to have your opinion on my current wage. Thanks !
1. PERSONALIA

• Age: 26
• Education: Bachelor degree in IT
• Work experience : 1.5Y
• Civil status: Single
• Dependent people/children: 0

2. EMPLOYER PROFILE

• SectoIndustry: Insurance
• Amount of employees: ~150
• Multinational? Yes

3. CONTRACT & CONDITIONS

• Current job title: Fullstack developer
• Job description: Integrating/maintaining features on a web platform
• Seniority: 1.5Y, first job
• Official hours/week : 37.5
• Average real hours/week incl. overtime: 37.5
• Shiftwork or 9 to 5 (flexible?): 9 to 5 (flexible)
• On-call duty: No
• Vacation days/year: 28

4. SALARY

• Gross salary/month: 3250€
• Net salary/month: 2400€ including netto compensation, 2900€ if you include the mobility budget
• Netto compensation: 180€
• Mobility budget/cabike/...: Mobility budget of 500€, no car
• 13th month (full? partial?): Full
• Meal vouchers: 8€/day
• Ecocheques: 250€/year
• Group insurance: 4%
• Other insurances: Hospitalization insurance
• Other benefits (bonuses, stocks options, ... ): Laptop, phone subscription

5. MOBILITY

• City/region of work: Brussels
• Distance home-work: 20 minutes
• How do you commute? Public transportation
• How is the travel home-work compensated: STIB/MIVB subscription
• Telework days/week: 3

6. OTHER

• How easily can you plan a day off: Easily
• Is your job stressful? Can sometimes be
• Responsible for personnel (reports): 0

Hey guys so basically I plan on selling my current car within a couple of months but I also want a subwoofer in it for the summer. I don't want to modify the car in any way to not bring down its value. Is it possible to have a separate car battery in the trunk with the sub and the amp without connecting it to the alternator? My idea was just charging it overnight but my friend told me it would only last like 30 mins or something?

Our condo building is small and self managed, and typically most issues are resolved with an email requesting correction (i.e. moving cars of visitors, removing items from common areas, securing doors, etc.).
However, we have been having more issues with an owner recently where violations are going unresolved despite repeated requests/notifications.
Unfortunately, I don’t believe we have a R&R established or fee schedule, but I plan to work with our lawyer to get something drafted then approved by the board (I am the president).
But after getting that established, what should be done to have enough proof of violations in order to fine owners?
Most of the issues occur in common areas and we don’t have security cameras. For example, an old appliance has been left in the common area that needs to be removed. We know who it belongs to, but I don’t think we have enough concrete proof. We have nothing that explicitly says it’s theirs, nor footage that shows them putting it there, so I am concerned about the owner denying it’s theirs if we try to fine them/have them pay for removal. Other owners are reasonably frustrated, but I don’t want to fine without it being able to stick.
Would you recommend security cameras in common areas? Or is it too costly for a condo with less than 10 people?

I (25F) live in a shared apartment with three roommates. One of my roommates, let's call her Anna (27F), recently totaled her car in an accident. She doesn't have the money to buy a new one right away and has been using public transportation to get around.
Yesterday, Anna asked if she could borrow my car for the weekend to visit her family, as they live in a nearby town. I was hesitant because I need my car for work, and I had plans to go out of town myself over the weekend. I politely declined and explained my reasons to Anna.
She got upset and accused me of being selfish and inconsiderate. She said that since we're roommates, we should help each other out in times of need. I understand her situation, but I don't think it's fair for her to expect me to inconvenience myself for her convenience.
Some of our other roommates are siding with Anna, saying that I should be more willing to help out a friend in need. But I feel like my decision was reasonable, considering my own responsibilities and plans.
So, Reddit, AITA for refusing to lend my car to my roommate?

My sister in law and I have had essentially no contact for 4 years and she’s been trying to be back in my life and I really don’t know what to do.
History: Since the start of my husband and Is relationship there has been tension from her. She would do odd little things at the beginning but I never pushed back. If my husband and I were on our way out the door to go to dinner or do something and she was fully aware she would “need something” from him or try to get him to stay home with her.
If we were taking trips out of state and we had to give her a ride I’d have one rule no weed smoking in my car since it was over state lines and the state is not marijuanna friendly. She would repeatedly ask during the drive and talk about how “it wasn’t a big deal” and would not drop it but we wouldn’t let up.
Essentially every boundary him or I would make would be tested.
We had a big blow up years ago when planning a mutual friends bachelorette party. Things really fell apart when she tasked me with the job of getting her cousins so drunk they pass out so everyone could enjoy recreational drugs without the younger (21 & 23) sisters around. When I refused this as it is dangerous and insanely cruel she and I finally blew up. She blamed me for being defiant and looking for a fight which led to me removing myself from the situation. I did not get her brother involved because it had nothing to do with him.
She then sent my husband a message that talked about how bad I was for him, how he use to be so happy before he met me, how he was never angry until he met me (his grief from losing his father figure turned into anger issues that he worked thru) she went on and on insisting that he wasn’t happy, he wasn’t loved, and he would be better off without me. My husband read the first two lines, forwarded me the message, and deleted it. It was essentially a letter on why he should leave me. I’m thankful he was no longer able to be manipulated by her because honestly the message was so manipulative he caught on quick and HE chose to distance himself. Throughout the years I’d ask him to text his sister for her birthday. To check on her. I wasn’t going to have a relationship but I encouraged him to have one with her.
Since we have been at family events and I made sure his family didn’t know any better and was very cordial but the times we did see each other there was no changed behavior. She was still doing the same selfish and manipulative things. We didn’t have to worry about it run ins with her often because she moved out of the country and it was pleasant.
She’s now moving back to the states and text me (I haven’t text her in 5 years) telling me about how she’s so happy to be back and I didn’t respond. She then text my husband asking if I got a new number. He replied no and changed the subject. She’s now back in our lives and I want none of it. She tried (thankfully unsuccessfully) to take the most important thing from me and I don’t think I can ever forgive her for that.
Now we are working on starting a family and I don’t know how to distance myself from her without looking petty or upsetting my in laws. I love my other sister in law and all of my new family. We’ve all been together for 11 years my husband and I married for 7.
I personally want nothing to do with her but don’t want to hurt my family. I also don’t trust she won’t try and manipulate my future child like she tried to my husband.
Am I the asshole for distancing myself and not even wanting her to be apart of my life in any way?

I will be going to Crete with my parents at the beginning of July. Was just wondering
1) Where to stay? We will be 8 days/7 nights and plan to mostly stay near Chania. Is there a town/area outside Chania with a lot of restaurants/beach nearby? I was thinking of getting Airbnb for whole stay or should I do 5-6 days Airbnb and 2-3 days hotel in Chania old town?
2) I was also planning to rent a car, I have read somewhere that some roads (especially mountain roads) tend to be scary, are they really tricky or will I get by driving really slow? Also where to park if I want to go to Chania?
3) My parent's aren't really that much interested on history or archeology sites, is Heraklion/Knossos still worth it? Instead we really like botanical gardens, nature, hiking, food and sightseeing.
4) Is Samaria Gorge very difficult? I am sure I can complete it, but not sure about my parents. They don't really have any muscle pains and are quite fit, but I'm not sure hiking 16km in July is doable for them. Any experiences hiking as 50-60 years old?
5) Will daytrip to Santorini be a good idea?

(I know it's not the main focus in the title but I'd also be super keen to talk to people in the UK, either London or somewhere in England or Scotland around like Edinburgh as there's a near 100% chance I'm moving there this year)
Hi everyone!
My name is Jack, I'm 21 and I'm a recent cyber security and forensics and internetworking and network security graduate, but I hope to go on for a few more years and do post grad studies! (this year my goal is to move to Edinburgh for my masters!)
Hobbies!: For the past few years I've been heavily into formula 1, never missing a race (even the 3 am ones and even worse, the 7 am ones!)
I also enjoy doing photography, I mainly do cars but I have recently started thinking about more landscape/urban photography.
Now for games! My main ones are Destiny 2, and rainbow six siege, (for those wondering my highest rank is diamond 3 (when rank actually meant something lol)), but I haven't been playing them much these days. I play heaps more than that but I can't think of them off the top of my head lol. To try and list some id say project zomboid is one I'm very into as of right now, that and hell divers 2. I really enjoyed elden ring so I want to try more souls like games. Red dead redemption 2 is amazing and my favourite game of all time is probably watch dogs 2.
I love JDM cars and unfortunately haven't been to a car meet in over a year now. My introduction to photography was through cars so if you'd like to see some of my photos do let me know! Most of my part time work went towards getting my dream car so I definitely plan on going to more meets!
As for what I look like I'm 5"11' brown hair that touches my shoulders and never acts normally. I am 75 ish kg and I have brown eyes. That's a basic description of me but if you want a picture that's not an issue.
I'm not really too good at writing these advertisements or making titles or finishing them off so I'll just say if I sound appealing to you or you wanna know more, feel free to shoot me a message! For those in WA I'm down in the Mandurah area but travelling up to Perth isn't an issue for me! And hopefully I see all you Scots later this year!
Thanks for reading! Stay safe people!!

For some context I am 17 F and when I was about 13 I got hit by a car as a pedestrian. They were completely at fault and it's been an ongoing thing for a while. I don't exactly know all the legal stuff but because of this I'll be receiving about $40,000 (or possibly more) when I turn 18.
I'm at a loss with what to do with this money and I need some advice. I want to save for my future and I'm hoping I'll be able to buy a house at some point. I'm a bit too scared to invest in stocks but I could handle mutual funds or bonds. Is it a good idea to immediately max out a Roth IRA and would I even be able to do that? I'm living at home and don't plan to move out immediately so I won't need to pay for living expenses and I don't have plans to go to college yet either.
Some thoughts on what I should do would be great! Thanks in advance.

UPDATE TO THE SITUATION
So after reading all advice left in the comments of the last post we first made sure we had screenshots of the texts to say we couldn’t go on break together, i’ve messaged my manager who’s said that she personally doesn’t care who i go on break with as long as we don’t stop working to plan our break’s which we never did so she said that was okay. My girlfriend’s decided she’s going to talk to her manager in person as she’s been told she’s getting a let’s talk so she’ll bring it up then on her next shift and try and get a reason from her manager.
Just to clear up some more context from people’s assumptions: We have been caught talking on shop floor before which was handled and we have since stopped (during this the manager’s encouraged talking on breaks) We don’t do anything unprofessional in the car, just have the radio/ac on, eat food and talk Manger’s have said they don’t have an issue with going in the car on break as long as we’re back on time which we are Basically all manager’s at my store use the CCTV and monitor breaks and ppl standing around doing nothing and that sort’ve stuff.
Thank you for all the nice comments and useful help :)

Incoming freshman here (M), planning on going to the Tampa concert on September 4th. Was planning to buy a section 2__ ticket for about $150. Wondering if any fellow fans here are interested in talking and seeing if we'd want to go together. Going to need to make friends so may as well use this as one possible vehicle for that. (I've never actually been to a big concert before, this will be my first). Otherwise, anyone else going? (for a possible ride) I won't have a car. Just reply/dm here or dm me on instagram @adibteske, let's chat. Thanks!

I want to go through the home buyers’ program but I’m not sure if I can do it. I need to give a back story first. My grandma owned 2 homes in our hometown (she lived in one of the homes), an apt building, and part of a vacation time share in Florida. My grandmother put my dad (her son) in the other home so he wouldn’t have to pay rent (the white house). But he was responsible for paying taxes and the upkeep of the home. But unfortunately, he could never pay the taxes on time and spent his money poorly. So, She took care of it when necessary. I think that’s why she always kept the house in her name because she knew he would lose it. Now I’ve always known my dad to be a drunk and he had a gambling addiction too. He was a violent drunk and abusive to my mom. which he denies to this day and swears nothing ever happened but I remember things. You would think he would want to fix his life when I came into the picture. Me being his oldest child and first born at age 31. But no! my sister came 3 years later. My grandma died when I was 8 years old from the injuries of a car accident in 2000. She left a will and was also given a $100,000 settlement from the trucker who hit her. she left the (white house) to my dad. And her home she left to my dad, my sister and I. we all own a third with me and my sister being Co-owner. my dad stayed living in the white house and rented out my grandma’s home after her passing. He ended up losing the white house for not making payments and moved into my grandmother’s homes. Now that my sister (29) and I (31) are adults we want to sell the home. it is old and run down but still livable. my dad lives in the home but can’t keep up with it. he has never been good with money. And now that he is older and his health has declined it is not safe for him to stay in the home. But he will not leave. He has fallen a couple times and needs to be in a senior living apartment. It is hard on me and my sister because we live about two hours away so when something happens, we can’t get to him fast enough. My dad is the only child and acts like it. He thinks we owe him something. But he wasn’t really around growing up and always left us with broken promises. sometimes blamed us for things we had no control over as minors that had to do with my mother leaving him. Mentally it feels like I’m talking to a child when I talk to him. We have had offers on the home, people have come out and looked and gave us offers. He wasn’t okay with moving and had a complete tantrum about it in front of the realtor. Looking like a 5-year-old that wasn’t getting his way. But we had to explain to him that when he is gone, he is leaving us with debt because of him not making payments. Not to mention he always pay the taxes late to where he has to get liens on the home or payment plans. my sister has paid the taxes a couple times while living with him in her early 20s. but he's not getting my money I work hard for while he drinks and gamble his away. there was A lot we didn’t understand, and he wasn’t telling the truth, so we had to call and find out for ourselves. He wanted to get a $200,000 home repair loan for the house but can't do it without me and my sister's signature as well. I told him no! you're not putting me in debt. you will get that money and not use it for the house or pay it back! My dad is a selfish person and never thought about his kids. one minute its "this is all of our house" and when he's mad and doesn't get his way, then its "this is my house! mama left this house to me!". but we have the will we know what it says. He played stepdaddy to his wife and her kids before doing for us. And they treated him like shit including the wife. They married in 2008 have been separated since 2014 but she is still around when that check comes and driving his car because he can’t drive anymore. He had the nerve to tell me and my sister he wanted us to pay for his divorce. Not happening! He didn’t even think of us when he got the settlement from my grandma death. I don’t have any kids but if I did and something like that happens to me, I’m putting that money in an account for my kids to accumulate over the years that way by time they are adults they have some type of leeway to get by. But that money was probably gone the same year my grandma died. And when we bring it up my dad acts like there was never any money but my mom made sure she got all the paperwork for us as proof later down the line. Now my dad is living off social security. And still drinking. Which is more of a reason he needs to move. One minute he is ready to move and when it’s time to find places then he back tracks. It’s frustrating. He is a drunk, will spend his check on liquor and do the bare minimum with bills. Then expect his kids to pick up the slack like his mom did. you had enough time to get it together. I have my own problems and my own bills. You live in a way better area then your kids and still want to take from us while we are out surviving learning as we go. I work for everything I have. I’ve never expected anyone to do for me that I can’t do for myself.
Now I want to go through with the first-time home buyers’ program. But I’m not sure if I can do anything with that house in my name. and he knows this but doesn’t care. He won’t sell the house. I mean he is out voted 2 v 1 but I don’t have the money to take him to court to make him leave. Us selling the house can really help all 3 of us out. I’m doing ok for myself I live within my means, and I save. But in this economy what does that really mean. That money would really help, and my sister has four kids. That money could really help her too. I just don’t know what to do. I just want him to think about his daughters, shit his grandkids as well. I guess its too late. We are just trying to survive that’s it.