10 practical tips for designing a motivating Hero Image that always works

The Hero Image is the first thing people see when they open your page. It’s your unique chance to win them over — or lose them forever.
It takes mere seconds for the user to process the first screen. But behind the scenes, there’s a lot of painstaking work by marketers, designers, and developers. How can you quickly find the right solution and pick the perfect image?
I have compiled the best practices for creating an effective Hero Image to share with you. Let us learn from the best.

1. Don’t lose sight of Hero Section goals

The goal of a Hero Section is to make the user want to learn more and perform the next action. It serves as an introduction and invites further communicat

2. Don’t lose sight of user goals

In an attempt to surprise and keep the viewer on the first screen, some designers unwittingly replace the user’s goal with their own: to make an awesome design. But the user’s goal is not design.
The user’s goal is to get something he or she needs: a thing, a service, or particular information. The design should facilitate this task rather than hamper it.
Smart design doesn’t draw attention to itself, or distract users from their goals, or make them gape in amazement, forgetting why they came. This is especially true for the hero section.
Here’s a typical case. The key points presented to the user are:

• what the company is offering;
• advantages of this offer;
• reasons to trust the company;
• actions to be performed by the user.

The message is obvious: our company is great and the user should hurry up and press that button. Alas, that’s not how it works.
User goals have nothing to do with the goals of website owners, marketers, or designers.
Any info that has no immediate value for the user must be held back. Messages like “We Are the Best,” “Celebrating Ten Years of Success,” “Why People Trust Us,” etc. belong at the bottom of the visual hierarchy.

Hero Section visuals must prioritize user goals.

Show the users what they want to see, and make it look really good. That’s your number one priority. All the rest — reliability, trust, guarantees — only serves to cement the user’s conviction that they’ve come to the right place.ion.
At first glance, what users want to see are benefits and problem solutions, not how great the company is or how cool the design looks. :) That stuff stays in the background!
A Hero Image is a visual stimulus. It promises benefits, improvements, and positive changes.
The user will be willing to take a step forward if:

• they intuitively and immediately like the visuals;
• they see a solution to their problem;
• they’re motivated by the image;
• they’re motivated by the heading;
• they understand what to do next.

3. Remember: no clutter

The home screen must be crystal clear and easily navigable for the user. This is where you showcase the very essence of your offer. Do your utmost to maximize readability. This includes:

• clean, uncluttered design;
• clear page structure;
• plenty of “air”;
• no distractions;
• hierarchy of highlights;
• motivating, concise heading and subheading;
• hero image that matches the message and copy;
• understandable and predictable navigation panel.

Keep it simple and concise!

4. Turn the user’s goal into a visual magnet

The designer’s task is to visualize the user’s goal, making it look attractive, lively, and catchy. Do a comprehensive study and analysis of your users, product, and competitor sites. This will help you find inspiring images and motivating messages for your audience.
Customers often arrive at the page with a specific image of their goal in mind. It’s important to take this into account and meet their expectations. Predictability is what people expect from you. This applies to both visuals and user experience.
Follow the “one idea, one image” rule. Let your heading resonate with, reinforce, and enhance the image. The image and text must stimulate the user’s desire and willingness to take a step toward gratification.

5. Look for specific triggers

As you work on a Hero Image from concept to final design, remember: you are creating a motivational trigger. Feel free to use any and all marketing, design, and psychology tricks to influence user perception.
Every audience has its own motivation. Get to know your users and find the best way to engage them, both emotionally and rationally. (An emotional reaction is followed by a rational assessment of the information.)

User emotions need to be designed and incorporated into the project at the concept stage.

Specific triggers, such as images and/or text, are especially good for engaging emotions.
To find the best trigger, ask yourself:

• What should the user feel when he/she sees your offer?
• What memories should it evoke?
• What associations should it create?

Finding an emotional trigger often requires a good brainstorming session. Make a list of emotions and their possible visualizations, such as engaging images, illustrations, or videos. Test the best ideas.
This is the key to your future conversions and audience love.
The emotions don’t necessarily have to be positive. Apple once successfully exploited fear by designing a blood-red AIDS awareness website with an invitation to become a blood donor. It looked impressive. I don’t know about donations, but a lot of people bought red iPhones. :)

6. Show explicit or implicit benefits

An effective trigger is always associated with user benefits. The trigger pushes users to perform actions that will let them reap these benefits.
Popular Hero Images are focused on:

• the product;
• action;
• advantages;
• the context;
• the process (behind the scenes);
• the company’s owner.

Any type of the Hero Image must convey benefits.

Explicit benefits: highlighting the apparent advantages of using the product or service.
Implicit benefits: visually and psychologically highlighting the user’s improved status, importance, success, skills, and opportunities.
User analysis will help you decide what should be made explicit or kept implicit on a case-by-case basis. Showcasing an implicit benefit is always a win-win. A website that sells nails, for example, will fare much better if its hero section features an image of a thrifty, smart, and neat worker than if it simply has a photo of a house or a bunch of nails. Customers will enjoy feeling like handy homeowners.

7. Manage the user’s attention

Be clear about where you want the viewer’s eyes to go. What will they see first? What next? Where should their gaze linger? Everything depends on the goals of your website and product. The hierarchy of highlights needs to be planned in advance and then tested to make sure it looks like you need it to.
The user’s gaze is controlled by dominance and focal points. Dominant elements are the largest and most attractive ones. Focal points are icons, buttons, and other elements that the user sees after the dominant element. They are responsible for the user’s interest zones and hold his or her attention. They’re typically located at the edges of the screen.
Lifehack #1: Blur your design layout and show it to an average person (not a designer). What’s the first thing they see? What merits more or less attention? It’s a good way to rectify failed ideas before it’s too late.
Lifehack #2: Use eye-tracking software. Even a simple freeware app will help you check if the highlights are in the right places.
If you find that the user’s gaze doesn’t linger long enough on any given element, get to work. Perhaps it’s worth highlighting this element further by making it larger or brighter, adding animation, increasing the font size, and so on. (Test everything!)
Note: Place the main highlight on the emotional trigger, not the CTA button.
All visual composition tricks and instruments must be hierarchically ordered. Shape, color, shade, contrast, size, balance, movement, typography — everything must follow the principle of priority.
Note: Remove distractions. Everything that’s not a first impression priority must have reduced visibility, hidden, or moved elsewhere.

8. Use relevant images

Images are relevant when they match the website’s purpose, idea, and content. Any mismatch between the idea and its visual representation leads to misunderstanding and mistrust. It’s not just out-of-context imagery. A website dedicated to innovation using outdated designs is also an example of irrelevance. Unnecessary wow effects that distract from the message are likewise irrelevant.

The Hero Image must visually convey the essence of the content.

9. Use a short, powerful tagline

Use a short, powerful tagline to engage the user. Coming up with it isn’t as easy as it seems. It’s a creative process. Again, I recommend brainstorming. You have limited character space, yet you need to succinctly convey your values, explain some benefit or problem solution, or ask a related question that will pique the user’s interest. Brainstorming is a great way to find an original idea.

10. Be subtle with your СТА

You may have a great hero image with a good conversion potential, but it will be worthless without a CTA. However, CTA should be approached with caution.

Never use CTA to exert pressure.

Design your CTA to be friendly and non-aggressive rather than demanding. Do not pressure the user into learning everything at once, making purchases, or subscribing. CTA is a logical step on the user’s path toward their goal. If you failed to pique their interest with your tagline and visualization, no CTA button or text will work.
CTA is an organic continuation of your design and business idea. Your visitors are welcome. That’s the point of a CTA button or message: it invites the user to join the action.

Focus your UI and UX on making the user’s goal attractive.

Only then will your CTA be effective. A button motivates no one. People are motivated by ideas and images of the future.
Thanks for reading. Don't forget to follow analyzeoptimize for more such insightful content to grow your online busines.

Hi everyone!
I'm starting up a community space/club in Nicosia and I've been working on the concept for the last year. I put a huge amount of my life savings into this project and I'm hoping to get your feedback on it. It took me a long time to finally get the courage to share it with you all too.
My mission and vision is to create a transformative space where creativity flourishes, dialogues inspire, and connections run deep. To foster connections through vibrant conversations, culinary arts, and shared experiences :)
What is The Dialogue Club?
The dialogue club is more than just a venue; it's a vibrant community space where individuals can come together to engage in meaningful conversations, appreciate art, and participate in a wide range of cultural and creative activities. Whether it's through live music performances, hands-on workshops, or simply sharing a meal, I aim to enrich Nicosia's cultural landscape and create a sense of belonging for everyone.
I aim to run some programs as well.
For Food Entrepreneurs - People who dream to set up their restaurants but are afraid of taking the risks or feel overwhelmed by starting it all up. The program gives food entrepreneurs a space in our garden where they can sell their food, we have regular mentors from the F&B industry who help give guidance to them.
At the Dialogue Club we support them with regular content, promotions and events on our channels. This helps Food Entrepreneurs focus on their food without feeling like they have to hustle hard on social media to get customers. Something I found that has been tough for small food businesses to keep up against more established food places in Cyprus.
We support these aspiring food entrepreneurs with extremely low rent as well.
For Artists - For local craftspeople to access a platform to share, sell and promote their art. In turn also helping with the preservation of new and traditional Cypriot art forms. The space will include a shop where artists can permanently display their work without struggling to keep up with ad hoc festivals all the time.
We support artists in very similar ways, extremely low rent, we help them with social media promotions on our channels, mentorships if they want and we have dedicated sales staff to help share their story and craft with visitors.
Why Did I Start This?
I think the word community is an overly mentioned word these days. Businesses throw it in for buzz and experts say we have too little of it. In fact it has been 5 years on, since the British government has a minister of loneliness appointed to tackle “the sad reality of modern life”.
Community is still something we have here in Cyprus but I believe that it takes nurturing, care and love to continue building it up. Especially when it comes to organizing our communities to create better impact for the places we live in. There are so many things in Cyprus that can be changed for the better, and doing it together means we have better chances to make things move.
At the same time, we thrive as human beings when we are part of an uplifting group. Imagine running or jogging at 5am every morning? Would you do it alone?
What if I were to say, I'd love to do a 5am run with you. There's going to be more of a good push for you to do it now. When we take collective actions together, we can build healthy habits together. Now lets amplify that to different activities from Community Gardening to Ceramic Classes or Free Yoga Classes after work! How cool would that be to do things together?
Why Join The Dialogue Club Waitlist?
There are no fees to this. I need your help to get your thoughts and opinions about the Dialogue Club. By filling up this really short form, I can gather information and guide decisions when building up the space. Which is a work in progress as we speak.
To thank you for your help! Here are some things I'll be giving back.

• Exclusive Opening Event: Get invited to our grand opening with free food, music, and a chance to meet like-minded community members! (Limited spaces)
• Tasting Sessions: Be part of selecting the best food vendors for our community garden.
• Shape Our Space: Join our discussion groups and vote on the activities and concepts you want to see.
• Early Supporter Perks: Enjoy special benefits as a Founding member (details to be announced soon).

Join The Waitlist Here 👉 Join the Waitlist Here 👈
I'd Love Your Feedback! As we're in the early stages, your feedback is invaluable to me. Please check out our website and let me know:

• What do you think of the concept and offerings?
• Any suggestions for improvement?
• What activities or features would you love to see at The Dialogue Club?

Thank you for being a part of this exciting journey. Together, let's create a community that transcends the ordinary!
Feel free to share your thoughts and questions below. I can't wait to hear from you!
The Dialogue Club (Cyprus) Website

Hello, I am 31M, I don't drink , I don't smoke, I don't use any recreational drugs.
You see my situation is the following:
About 10 days ago, suddenly and out of nowhere I got sick at night, having a sore throat, as the days went by my feelings began to get worse, suddenly I had a lot of discomfort when I swallowed food or drink things, then I had a very bad coughing, being all the time just coughing and coughing during the week, at times my eyes were itchy and I was worried if I got conjuctivitis too while I was sick with the flu or whatever happened to me, I felt dry in my throat and I was out of breath sometimes, my voice wasn't in its normal state, I was more hoarse/higher-pitched (I'm not sure which of the two is the correct term since English is my second language and I confuse those words even in my native language) the point is, my voice isn't in its normal state so I can barely speak normally and and I need to make a little effort to speak, I had a lot of mucus in my nose, and my throat and mouth felt just weird.
As the days went by, my symptoms improved, I didn't have itchy eyes ever again (it was something I experienced for about 3 days and only for a short period of time in those 3 days, like, it wasn't something I felt all day, it manifest on suddenly and lasted for about 2 hours at most), and I felt less bad because I remember that there was a day when I could barely even speak.
But after all that time, I'm still sick.
My biggest and main problem is that I still have a lot of cough and I spend the whole day coughing and they don't know when I want it to stop, and my voice is still not in its normal state so I can barely talk much, which is a nuisance because I usually talk all day on Skype calls for multiple reasons, among other things but at least the eye itchy is gone and I don't feel so exhausted.
Today I went to see a doctor to review my case, because a lot of time had passed and I still have this problem of coughing too much, and I wanted to help it.
And my doctor came to the conclusion that it doesn't seem like I have a cold, it's most likely that I'm having problems with an Allergy, and I was like "Uhm really??"
The bases that my Doctor had for that diagnosis were the following:

1. I've been in this state for 10 days now and it's weird that it lasted this long, if it were a Cold/Flu, I would have recovered and it should have ended at the 7 days of being sick, as I we well know.
2. I have a more dry cough, without phlegm/mucus.
3. It seems I haven't had a fever (but I'm not sure about that, I didn't worry about taking my temperature at some point during the week to see if I had a fever or anything really, before going to see the doctor)
4. I have not had chest pain.

In addition, the Doctor asked me to open my mouth to see how my throat was, and with the stethoscope he listened to my breathing and my body coughing.
But the Doctor's diagnosis that what I have seems to be a problem with an Allergy than something else, sounded very weird to me for several reasons:

1. It's illness season on my city and in my city practically everyone is Coughing a lot everywhere, Like wherenever I went (the medical center, the supermarket) there were A LOT of people everywhere coughing in the same manner as me.
2. In addition, my Mother was also sick at the same time that she presented the symptoms, but she recovered quickly, it lasted 3 days her symptoms at most, and she didn't have the Cough that I still had.
3. I've had problems with allergies before in my life, but I've never had an allergy that made me cough or anything, especially so persistently.
4. I have also never had an allergy that affected my voice or my ability to speak.

And the thing is that because everyone is sick everywhere in my city, I was waiting several hours for the Doctor to check me, but when the time of my consultation arrived I was tired and my brain wasn't in its best state, which leads me to worry that perhaps I didn't explain my situation well to the Doctor and I wasn't as attentive to his questions as I would have liked to realize that I was answering correctly, the Doctor was also tired because he had a long day reviewing many patients and I felt like he wasn't checking me in like great detail and I rushed the job a little because it was obvious that he just wanted to finish his job day.
So all these factors together lead me to worry if the Doctor did his job well and/or if I did my part well and a If actually correct Diagnosis was reached, because the idea that what I have is an Allergies thing given the reasons I explained sounded Odd to me.
Then the Doctor prescribed me that he had to take the following:

1. CAM ( 2,00 Mg Dexchlorpheniramine maleate , 0,25 Mg Betamethasone) every 8 hours <- Antihistamine , one tablet
2. Diclofenac sodium , every 8 hours , one tablet (50 Mg)
3. Bion3 (Something with Probiotics and Vitamins), one tablet the day.

Whenever I have to take Medications, I Google everything about them, and I understand what Antihistamines are and how they work, that they are these things that calm your Immune system, to put it in simple words.
And well, what my Doctor told me is that I am going to take these medications for a week, let's see what happens and next Tuesday he will check how I did with those meds.
So to be honest, I'm really quite Scared and worried that I maybe fucked up??
What if I have Bronchitis that for some reason is happening with a Dry Cough without mucus/phlegm nor chest pain, or I still have an Active Flu and this persistent cough that I want to end and my voice problems has nothing to do with an Allergy.
Since, if that is the case, shouldn't taking Antihistamines make my health much worse by calming my immune system when a real illness is still happening??
Like, that's what worries me, what if taking those medications and following the Doctor's instructions actually entails a risk to my health due to a wrong diagnosis??
Because what I want to read and have tried to investigate is that well.
Something, whatever, that tells me that if it turns out that the Doctor gave me the wrong diagnosis, and I have Bronchitis or the Flu that is still active or perhaps with few symptoms but still there, taking these meds (Antihistamine) for a week shouldn't it do much damange??
I know I sound a little paranoid, but I already had a crisis in the past with a Doctor (another one) giving me the wrong medications for an illness, which ended up making my health much worse and it was horrible and I seriously don't want to relive that experience again.

Just wondering how long it should take to process? Just now passed 60 days (2 months) and Mohela is "still processing".
Feels like purposeful work stoppage to force larger loan payments. I mean if your office takes more than 2 months to process something you are definitely not properly staffed. I can get stuff done at the DMV in up to 10 days (not business, calendar) - you know the place notoriously known for being slow.
I expect them to come back in a few weeks and delay further by asking for more documents or something.

Life insurance is a financial product that provides a lump-sum payment to designated beneficiaries upon the death of the insured person, through life insurance companies in Sri Lanka. This payment, known as the death benefit, can help cover funeral expenses, replace lost income, pay off debts, and provide financial security for loved ones left behind.

For self-employed individuals, life insurance in Sri Lanka is particularly important for several reasons:
· Income Replacement: Self-employed individuals often do not have the same safety nets as employees, such as employer-provided life insurance or pension plans. Life insurance can help replace lost income for their families if they pass away unexpectedly, ensuring that their loved ones are financially secure.
· Debt Coverage: Many self-employed people have loans or debts associated with their business, such as business loans, mortgages, or credit card debt. Life insurance can help cover these debts, preventing financial burdens from being passed on to their heirs.
· Business Continuity: For self-employed individuals who own businesses, life insurance can be crucial for business continuity. It can provide funds to cover expenses during a transition period or help buy out a deceased partner's share of the business, ensuring the smooth continuation of operations.
· Estate Planning: Life insurance proceeds can be used to pay estate taxes or other expenses associated with transferring assets to heirs. This can help preserve the value of the estate and ensure that assets are distributed according to the individual's wishes.

Life insurance, similar to retirement plans in Sri Lanka, provides peace of mind for self-employed individuals, knowing that their loved ones and businesses will be financially protected in the event of their death. It is a crucial component of financial planning for anyone who relies on their income to support themselves and their families.

How do I find the right life insurance policy for my needs?
Finding the right life insurance policy for your needs involves assessing your financial situation, understanding your goals, and comparing various insurance options. Here is a step-by-step guide to help you through the process:
· Assess Your Needs: Start by evaluating your financial obligations, including outstanding debts, mortgage, future expenses (such as college tuition for children), and the income replacement needs of your dependents. Consider how much coverage would be necessary to meet these needs if you were to pass away.
· Understand Types of Life Insurance: There are two primary types of life insurance: term life insurance and permanent life insurance. Term life insurance provides coverage for a specific period (e.g., 10, 20, or 30 years), while permanent life insurance (such as whole life or universal life) provides coverage for your entire life and includes a cash value component. Determine which type aligns best with your needs and preferences.
· Calculate Coverage Amount: Use online calculators or consult with a financial advisor to estimate the amount of coverage you need based on your financial obligations and goals.
· Compare Quotes: Get quotes from multiple insurance companies to compare premiums for the coverage amount you need. Consider factors such as the company's financial stability, reputation, and customer service.
· Review Policy Features: Pay attention to the features and riders offered by each policy, such as accelerated death benefits, guaranteed insurability options, and waiver of premium riders. These features can add flexibility and additional benefits to your policy.
· Check Underwriting Requirements: Understand the underwriting process for each insurance company, including medical exams, health questionnaires, and pre-existing conditions. Some companies may offer simplified or no-exam underwriting, which can be beneficial for certain individuals.
· Read the Fine Print: Carefully review the policy contract, including terms, conditions, exclusions, and any limitations. Make sure you understand how the policy works and what is covered.
· Consider Additional Riders: Depending on your needs, consider adding riders to your policy for additional coverage, such as accidental death benefit riders, critical illness riders, or disability income riders.
· Seek Professional Advice: If you are unsure about which policy is best for you, consider consulting with a licensed insurance agent or financial advisor who can provide personalised recommendations based on your financial situation and goals.
· Regularly Review Your Coverage: Life insurance needs can change over time due to factors such as marriage, the birth of children, career advancements, or changes in financial obligations. Review your coverage periodically to ensure it still aligns with your needs and make adjustments as necessary.

What should a life insurance policy include?
A comprehensive life insurance policy should include the following key components:
· Death Benefit: This is the primary component of a life insurance policy. It provides a lump-sum payment to the designated beneficiaries upon the death of the insured individual. The death benefit amount should be sufficient to meet the financial needs of the insured's dependents and cover outstanding debts, funeral expenses, and other obligations.
· Policy Term or Duration: For term life insurance policies, the policy will specify the coverage duration, such as 10, 20, or 30 years. Permanent life insurance policies provide coverage for the insured's entire life.
· Premiums: The policy will outline the amount and frequency of premium payments required to keep the policy in force. Premiums can be paid annually, semi-annually, quarterly, or monthly.
· Cash Value (for Permanent Policies): Permanent life insurance policies typically accumulate cash value over time, which can be accessed by the policyholder through loans or withdrawals. The policy should specify how the cash value grows and how it can be utilised.
· Riders and Optional Benefits: Policyholders can often add additional coverage or benefits to their life insurance policy through riders. Common riders include accelerated death benefit riders, which allow the policyholder to access a portion of the death benefit if diagnosed with a terminal illness, and waiver of premium riders, which waive premium payments if the insured becomes disabled.
· Coverage Exclusions and Limitations: The policy will outline any circumstances or events that are not covered by the insurance, such as suicide within a certain period after the policy is purchased or death resulting from illegal activities.
· Policy Renewal and Conversion Options: For term life insurance policies, the policy may include options for renewal or conversion to a permanent policy at the end of the term without the need for a medical exam.
· Policy Ownership and Beneficiary Designation: The policyholder has the right to designate the policy's owner and beneficiaries. The owner has control over the policy and can make changes to beneficiaries or coverage as needed.
· Grace Period: The policy should specify a grace period during which premium payments can be made after the due date without the policy lapsing.
· Policy Surrender and Lapse Provisions: The policy should outline the process and consequences of surrendering the policy or allowing it to lapse due to non-payment of premiums.

It is important to carefully review the terms and conditions of a life insurance policy before purchasing to ensure that it meets your needs and provides the necessary financial protection for you and your loved ones.

We use X's group teaching method! How will you support these practices?"
The best two schools in the state use direct teaching methods, are not 1-1 schools, and heavily rely on textbooks and essay exams. This method you propose assume students have way more energy every day than they do, that they will not use their devices for games, and that I have more planning time than you provide.
Why do you want to be a part of this school?
"Because I think you might be slightly less toxic than my current job...even though your principal seems to be really focused on their social media..."
We believe in seeing all students succeed! What will you do to make sure each student does their best?
I will make sure everyone has a roof over their heads, a supportive home life, and will face consequences as written that will be supported by admin! If they fail, I am sure the consequence will remain and they will learn from it and have support to try again.
....Just kidding! I am sure I will have enough moral injury due to the system ignoring poverty and not holding students to high expectations that I will be burnt out enough to pass kids just to get you out of my room so I can cry in peace. But hey! You have high hopes for next year's test drill software...If you actually read the documentation you provided for the PD, you'd know it said the most effective way to raise scores is to focus on the content...
What are your experiences using restorative justice practices?
It is usually rushed and is used in place of discipline practices when it should be used on top of such practices, and only in cases where it doesn't traumatize a party. It also does not take into account neurodiverse students. I also have vague memories of bullies returning to my classroom with bags of dyed corn chips they got from he office...
We strive for a place where everyone is included and everyone succeeds! How will you scare the white, straight admin with your answer?
Well, the LGBTQ community is the most likely to disengage from education according to our state's data, with trans students being the most likely to say they don't feel that they belong. However, we can make sure they're engaged by reversing this trend with strong anti-bullying practices with established and specific rules, openly supportive teachers, and inclusive literature... a lot of the best practices for BIPOC inclusion and CLD....hello? Are you still here?

This is probably going to be long, but I feel like I'm going crazy. I don't feel like I am asking too much of my boyfriend, but then I second guess myself. I do tend to catastrophize things and can react extremely when I am hurt. I don't trust myself enough to know if I am being crazy or not.
So my Bf(M29) and I(F26) have been dating for 1.5 years and living together for 6 months. His communication has not been the best throughout our relationship. In the beginning, I didn't really tell him it bothered me until we are months into the relationship. I guess I didn't want to come off as needy, which I know I shouldn't have done. But he does know now that it bothers me,. When we are in person or on the phone, we have no issues. It's texting that is the issue. He has this 12 day trip that he goes on annually. He is with mostly family and his family friends (ages 30-60 and all men). Pretty much all they do is drink and play golf. When he went last year, he wasn't the best about texting me but I was still trying to not come off as needy so I didn't say anything. This year, I told him for MONTHS to not forget to text me when he was on his trip. When he left, I wasn't really worried. I made it clear what I wanted and I thought that he understood. First 2-3 days of the trip, he is texting me, being very engaged and asking me about my day and how I am. It was some of the best conversations we've had over text. Then 3 days ago, he goes to a concert after his golf round. We had talked about for weeks before he left that I wanted him to Uber there and back because everyone on the trip would be too drunk to drive. He agreed, but was annoyed that It would be almost $200 (he makes good money, just being cheap.. this trip is also completely free for him. He just has to buy booze and food). So the day of the concert comes around and he tells me that him and this other guy are going, but they aren't going to be drinking that much so they will just drive there. I don't believe that. My boyfriend can DRINK. I think he lied about that because just didn't want to Uber even though that is what we agreed about for weeks. But he is adamant that they will be fine and won't drink that much. Again, I do not believe that for a second. But I drop it. *Context* 1If you can't already tell from this post, I do have some mental heath issues. I have a lot of anxiety especially about car accidents. I am super against drunk driving and I think that it is one of the dumbest things you can do. I tell him to text me and let me know that he got home safe.
This is where the issue started... He didn't text me that he got home safe. He texted me that they were almost home at 11PM. I do not hear from him until the next day at 5PM.. I am obviously pissed, more than pissed I was at work all day anxious he was dead on the side of the road or in a hospital. I do not have his location, only on snapchat and it only updates when you are on it. His last location was at a gas station. I am so upset not knowing what is going on. I can't be on my phone at work so I text him right when I get off at 3pm saying "you alive??" and then he replies at 5pm and says "yeah he just finished 27 rounds of golf. How are you?" So at this point, I am so anxious and upset I kinda go off. I said "You didn't think to take 30 seconds to send me a text today? I know you're busy, but it's 5pm..It takes less than a minute to send a quick text. I am not asking for you to text me every 5 seconds, I literally ask for the bare minimum. A few texts a day that's it. At a certain point I am going to get anxious not hearing from you. You know that." He says "That's totally understandable and I do apologize for that. I'll make sure that doesn't happen again." I don't text him back because I just don't want to talk to him and then later that night he says "Goodnight honey, sorry for being an ass and not talking to you today. I will do better because you deserve better. I love you." I text him back in the morning and say "Thanks for apologizing. It really just hurts my feelings, I have told you to text me SO many times. It's not that hard. It's literally so simple. At what point is it that you just don't care enough to do it? I'm not trying to argue with you, I'm just letting you know how I feel. This has gone on for so long and yesterday was just he point that pushed me too far. I told you multiple times to not forget to text me. It doesn't take up much of your time. You knew how much it meant to me, I'm just still really hurt." Him: "feeling that way is totally understandable. I fucked up and I can clearly see that. The only thing I can do now is just be better because you deserve that. I really am extremely sorry :(" I'm still annoyed, but he said that he was going to do better so I just have to trust that he will and I can't be mad at him forever about it. We had some normal conversation and then I text him at 9:30pm... This mf doesn't text me back until 12hrs later... not even 24hrs after we had that conversation. Doesn't even tell me goodnight at the least. So I am upset all night. Didn't fall asleep until 5am and woke up at 7:30am. I wait to say anything to him until he texts me & he just says "good morning honey" I ask if that is really all he has to say and he says "what? I'm just saying good morning?" Me: "You didn't think to text me last night after what we just talked about earlier that morning" him: "sorry I was talking to everyone and plus I was in the pool so I didn't have my phone." Then I just go off, I am anxious, my feelings are hurt and I am sleep deprived. Me: "You could have at least told me goodnight. I told you how much it hurts my feelings and you said you were "extremely sorry" and that "I deserve better" and then not even 24 hrs later you do the same thing.. I am not asking a lot, but obviously it's too much for you to take 30 seconds to send me a text and let me know you care and are thinking about me. I'm not crazy for wanting you to talk to me. You haven't even asked anything about me or how I am for the past 3 days. You were great the first 2-3 days and then something changed. You knew before you left how I just wanted you to talk to me a little bit. Then I told you again yesterday. I am so over it. Just don't bother texting me the rest of the trip. Hope you have fun."
And he hasn't responded and honestly I don't think that he will. Which honestly is fine. When I told him not to text me, I wasn't just baiting him. I would rather him not text me at all than be glued to my phone wondering when he will text me. He has 5 more days left on the trip. And I would be surprised if we talk before he gets home. Again, I know he is busy, I am not expecting him to text me 24/7. We aren't like that anyway. But even the first couple of days, he would text me when he had time (mostly at night) and we would have actual engaging conversations. Something just feels off. If you made it this far, thank you. I just don't know what to do. This isn't the first time I have felt like he doesn't care about me. I know that he does, he is just bad at showing it. I do constantly make excuses for him (i.e. he has ADHD, he doesn't really know how to handle certain social situations, he was single for 5 years before we met so he's just not used to being in a relationship., he's more avoidant about things, ect.) I don't want to make excuses for him, but he is a really good guy otherwise. I love him a lot. What I'm asking for is simple, does he just not care to do it? Or am I just blowing this out of proportion and being crazy? I feel a little crazy for being this upset over him not texting me, is it really that deep? We have talked about getting married and I know that when you get married you have to forgive a lot. Is this just something I need to accept and get over? I am so confused. I've been crying all morning, I don't know what's going to happen when he gets back. I can't tell if I'm being irrational or not.

Link for all the chapters available for free here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road
Deep in the groaning halls of sinew and bone he awaited his audience with the god. At a wave of his hand the ribs which held up the ceiling contracted, tendons shifting within the pink walls of the chamber as the jagged, calcareous spurs that composed the doorway sank back into the spongy masses of tissue, revealing a passage curving down and out of sight.
Menash stood before the yawning portal and considered eternity. This was no an idle thought: here in the Dawning Chamber, the concept was very real. His father, Yulan, had stood in this exact spot times beyond count. When he was struck down in his prime by the Night Weaver and her Leaper offspring, torn limb from limb as he fought to defend Chthonis from a raiding party, Menash’s uncle, Aqavarr, had carried his broken remains over that grinning threshold to join the hosts of the dead, never to return.
A hot and heavy exhalation rattled up out of the depths, wafting in the acrid scent of the bonding pools and the wet slithering sound of the rebirthing canals. Menash felt a crackle of static in the corners of his mind before the signal sharpened and he heard It whisper distinctly:
“Enter…”
The familiar dread crept its way up the small of his back, and he gave a little shiver. No matter how many times he had communed with the Vitalus, he’d never been able to shake the feeling of his utter insignificance. But he persevered, walking bravely down the slurping passage, past the rows of broad antechambers lining either side of the hallway. Each one held a slumbering shape immersed in a cryogenic bath, towering hulks of muscle encased in ribbed and riveted plates of chitin. No two were alike in size or physiology, but all seemed to emanate the same primeval aura of dread that tickled Menash’s fight-or-flight-instinct, skewing it very much towards the latter response. These were the Hollowores, soulless avatars of the Vitalus, each one a tool capable of eradicating an entire species. As Menash approached, one of the living weapons stirred to life. A pronged, anvil-shaped head emerged from the bath, umbilical feeder tubes detaching from its armored flanks as the rest of its bulk followed, its mauve exoskeleton as sleek and shiny as amethyst. The Hollowore extended legs as thick as grown pine trees and lifted itself above him, its pairs of crushing pincers dripping amniotic fluids as it herded him towards the central room.
Bundles of white gossamer filaments spread all across the floor, encircling steaming pools of pus and acid. He saw arms and legs, sensory organs and entire exoskeletons being knitted before his very eyes, the amino acid chains being stitched on a layer at a time, the weeping pus evidence of microphages fighting off possible infections as the Vitalus did Its work.
These were the next generation of exomorphs, yet to be assigned to their hosts. It was here that Vitalus constantly improved the only thing that could ensure the continued survival of Menash’s subspecies. Exomorphs were bonded to Gallivants at birth, the organisms supplying their hosts with the means to breathe an atmosphere they was never meant to endure, and the strength to fight in a world that was red in tooth and claw. They were as swift as the summer wind and could multiply their host’s muscular power by up to twelve times their natural output.
But for all their God-given might, Gallivants were still mortal. They could and often did perish in the endless struggle for existence that the Vitalus called the Great Game. But even in death they could still commit their essence to posterity, passing down their defining traits through the malleable genetic code of the gilt helix. It was the Vitalus’ greatest boon; through the gilt helix a single individual could become a progenitor of an entire generation, becoming at one stroke the father of whole nations and peoples.
One day he too would prove worthy of the honor that Yulan had earned with his life. But he was not alone in that ambition. Menash was annoyed to find the crimson-clad Vezda and the cowardly Racek waiting for him inside, standing next to a large ball of filaments that hung from a tonsil-like growth hanging from the walls.
This node pulsed, emitting a small storm of bioelectric activity, networks of fungi conveying commands in the form of oscillating voltages to their communities of symbiotic bacteria, the latter containing greigite mineral crystals aligned in the shape of electromagnetic coils. Other networks hidden in the walls modulated and amplified the signals, and the three Gallivants steeled themselves for the onrushing flood of information as the Vitalus tapped into their minds.
He was a candle before the raging heart of the thunderstorm. For an instant Menash touched a fraction of Its intelligence, the divisions of time and space rolling back as they joined the ocean of shared consciousness, becoming one with the living systems of Arachnea. From the tiniest aeroplankton floating above the waves of the golden coastlines, to the herds of ultrapods munching their way through swathes of trees in the savannahs. Menash felt himself pushing up out of the soil, longing and lusting and reaching for the sunlight with a trillion green fingers uncurling, alive with the furious movement of life.
But what was that flicker of orange to the east? That searing heat, that prickling pain spreading like a cancer down his side?
The Vitalus scooped them up and hurled them headlong into hell itself. A roaring wildfire was sweeping into the heart of the eastern rainforests. Menash tasted ash and ruin, felt pieces of himself wither and burn, his branches tongues of fire, wood cracking from the intense blaze, sap boiling instantaneously upon contact and rupturing, splitting him right down the grain. He fled in terror, running, slithering, digging, swimming, flying away in crazed panic from the walls of red death closing in on him. As his skin flaked off in clumps of charcoal he looked back and saw it towering over the treetops, the epicenter of this howling vortex of destruction: the grey behemoth. Its burnished metal hide gleamed like copper, reflecting the fury of the conflagration burning well into the night.
Menash pulled his mind away before it was lost forever in the storm of electric potentials. He saw Racek and Vezda swaying on their feet, breathing hard and fast.
“Heart of the World,” he managed to gasp, “What is your bidding?”
The Hollowore maneuvered itself until it was facing him directly. Tiny beady eyes fixed him in their blank gaze. The node emitted a blue pulse and the creature shuddered as it received the signal. It opened a maw powerful enough to chew boulders into gravel and rumbled:
“This one is the alpha which survived first contact with anomalous variable. It will tell Us what occurred, and from whence this threat emerged.”
“It came from the karst mountain range, where the yellowjacket Amit live,” Menash replied, “It was destroying the largest mound in that area, massacring its inhabitants. It brought the mountain down on them—we’ve never seen anything like it. Zildiz was the first on the scene. She warned us not to approach, and that it was dangerous, but some of us,” here he cast an angry look at Vezda, “Some of us went ahead and tried to scavenge from the bodies of the dying. Then the behemoth ignited the air and burned scores of us to cinders.”
“Irrational. Why did you do this?”
“W-we thought that you had spawned the grey behemoth,” Menash stammered, embarrassed to say the least, “That it was the newest addition to the Great Game, another species of ultrafauna that would help perfect Arachnea.”
“Not so. It was made by an evil far older than the All-In-One,” replied the Vitalus, “It is called a Divine Engine. In cycles past, this evil sought to undo this world and all that inhabit it. In that, it almost succeeded.”
Menash felt his blood run cold at those words.
“Is it the only one of its kind?” Racek piped up. Menash and Vezda both bristled at his interruption; subordinates were only supposed to speak when spoken to.
“There were several deployed here in Our infancy. We had thought them all destroyed in the War of Creation.”
“Your Munificence,” Racek went on, heedless of the venomous looks he was getting from the other two, “Most of us survived because Zildiz persuaded us to dive into the river. She saved all our lives! But as I washed up on the riverbank, I saw the behemoth casting a seedpod into the skies. I did not see where it landed, but it was travelling in a high arc due east. Is this the behemoth’s method of reproducing? If so, then how many offspring can it generate from this one seed?”
The Vitalus met his questions with a minute of silence. Menash had never known It to take so long to respond to a query, and felt another stab of unease in his gut. Unless he was imagining things, the Vitalus seemed genuinely disturbed by the scenario that Racek has raised, enough to convince Menash that the danger was far from hypothetical.
“That is a distant possibility,” It said somewhat cryptically, “Regardless, We cannot allow the Engine’s continued existence.”
“Then it must be destroyed,” Vezda said, her barbed tail eagerly perking up.
“We are not certain that it can be,” the Vitalus said, and Menash heard Racek audibly gulp at the admission.
“But Your Omniscience, you alone are the arbiter of growth and decay,” Vezda said in disbelief, “Surely you can unmake this monster as well?”
“Perhaps. The Divine Engines were built to withstand the extremes of temperature, gravity, atmospheric pressure, acidity and irradiation found on semi-inhabitable exoplanets. Worlds of bareness and desolation, glassed by thermonuclear bombardment or infested with alien microorganisms. In the wars of Our youth, the Betrayers used tungsten-alloy warheads fired from space platforms to crack their bulkheads. Not even Our vessels, the Hollowores, could damage them in any significant way. We will need time to gather the raw materials and fabricate the weapons needed to end this threat.”
“What must we do?” Menash asked.
“If this variable is not dealt with, it could upset the delicate balance We have sacrificed so much to achieve. Already the wildfire it has caused will release close to 400 million metric tons of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere and destroy 2.3 million acres of forest before Our countermeasures can stop it. Time is our limiting factor. If the Engine cannot be destroyed now, it must be restrained.”
“It hasn’t moved an inch since we last saw it,” Vezda said brightly, “Maybe it has already died?”
“Yes, and maybe your mother was a horka toad,” Racek said snidely. Vezda scowled and took a step towards him, then stopped as she remembered that she trod on hallowed ground.
“Not so. It has merely gone dormant. Having expended its fuel, it is now running on the bare minimum of its reserves. My children, you must ensure that it does not wake again. Establish a quarantine zone around the Engine and let none approach, on pain of death. The Leaper kindreds will secure the ground while the Gallivants patrol the skies.”
Vezda and Menash exchanged troubled looks. Nobody wanted Leapers establishing a foothold in what was essentially a buffer zone between their subspecies. Once allowed to settle in a habitat, it would not take long for them to adapt and become masters of their new territory. Ousting them would become a battle of attrition, and given the lower birthrates of Gallivants, it was not one they could long afford.
“Respectfully, we do not require assistance from our brother kindred,” Menash ventured, “We are more than capable of safeguarding the area ourselves.”
The node throbbed again, the bioelectric flashes taking on an angry purple hue. With a sound like the grinding of a millstone the Hollowore clashed its claws together impatiently. All three of the mortals took a hasty step back.
“The alpha will obey, or another will be found that can,” the Vitalus growled at them, “All subspecies will observe a general truce during this period. This is a temporary addition to the Great Game. Those that serve Us well shall be rewarded. We shall also enlist the aid of your terrestrial cousins, as well as the Cataphract clans to replenish the soil, and lone Saints who shall rove beyond the quarantine zone.”
Menash’s unease deepened. The Vitalus was bringing together four different kindreds, some of which killed each other on sight, in a move that reeked of desperation. The kindreds had worked together before, of course, on complex projects such as altering rainfall patterns and husbanding struggling species, but never so many at once. This was bound to end in bloodshed.
“Those that break the truce shall be chemically neutered, and their gilt helix purged from the existing gene pool,” the Vitalus continued, “You will maintain this quarantine until We have dealt with the Engine.”
“It is understood!” Menash and Vezda said at once.
“But what about Zildiz?” Racek blurted out, again risking his entire lineage by speaking out of turn, “She might still be alive out there!”
“He’s right,” Menash found himself agreeing despite his dislike for Racek, “She’s our alpha, after all. It would be a shame to lose her helix. Do we have your leave to send out a party to recover her?”
The Vitalus pondered the request for a moment, then crushed his hopes when it said:
“Regrettable, the loss of the female. Valuable stock for the breeding program. But it has not responded to Our signals—it is unlikely to have survived. The female Vezda shall take up its duties as alpha.”
“But Your Benevolence—” both men cried out in unison.
“It is decided. She has risked the Great Game, and must abide by its outcome. To speak more on this would risk Our displeasure,” the god warned.
“We can’t spare the manpower anyway,” Vezda pointed out, trying not to look too pleased at Its decision. She darted a quick look at Menash, long enough for him to see the selfish desire festering in her heart. He turned away from her in disgust, baring his blades by the slightest of margins to let her know what he thought of her, then asked the Vitalus:
“But what of the Engine’s seedpod? Should we search for it?”
“Negative!” the Vitalus boomed, its node reinforcing the word with a spike of activity that sent needles of pain spearing into their heads, “We shall complete this task. It is dangerous and can be entrusted to no other.”
The Hollowore angled its massive head towards the cavernous ceiling, armored flaps on its back sliding aside as it unfurled sets of rigid sixty-meter wings. A wide sphincter on the roof gaped open and Menash saw the evening sky awash with the stars in their milky multitudes. The Hollowore took a deep breath through the spiracles lining its thorax and abdomen, pumping air through a pair of hollow tube-like protuberances under either of its wings. Menash and the others quickly scampered to a safe distance. Seconds later there was a scream of chemical combustion and the Hollowore rose into the evening skies, leaving behind a long trail of superheated gases, the backwash almost knocking Menash off his feet. They watched as the Hollowore gained altitude, making straight for the columns of billowing smoke on the horizon, a sweeping shadow blotting out the light of the heavens.
The Vitalus’ mental presence receded with it. When it did not return, they took it to mean that they were dismissed and likewise took flight and headed for Chthonis. They were hardly out of the Dawning Chamber when Vezda seized the scrawny Racek by his wings and anchored her feet right up against his back.
“Funny little man, are you? Crack jokes at my expense again, and I’ll see to it that you’ll never fly again!” she snarled, yanking hard. Racek yelled as his wings threatened to pop out of their sockets.
“Stop!” Menash said, ramming his shoulder into her and knocking the smaller male out of her grip. Vezda rounded on him, blades out and her tail aquiver with rage.
“As for you! No one should speak to the Vitalus like that!” she shrieked, “Much less gainsay It! Are you trying to get us all killed? It is the source and continuance of life itself—”
“But the Vitalus doesn’t always consider the individual scale of things,” Menash reasoned, controlling his rising anger as he tried to defuse the situation, “Its scope of thought is beyond ours. Therefore it is up to us to look after each other. None of us can win the Great Game alone. We need people like Zildiz for the species to prosper.”
“Your logic is flawed,” Vezda spat, “Empathy is a sham devised by the selfish action of the gene, which seeks only to preserve itself. At least I am honest enough to look after my own interests. Your obsession with that whore is misplaced. Heed my words, Menash. What happened today marks a change in the Great Game. Only the ruthless will reap the rewards of this era. Think on that, and act accordingly.”
The female darted off in another direction, leaving the two behind.
“Thanks,” Racek said, rubbing at his sore shoulders, “My, my. She’s really taking her promotion very seriously, isn’t she?”
“This doesn’t make us friends,” Menash said shortly, “We share a common interest, that’s all.”
The two flew together in silence for a time, the dark canopy unrolling below their feet. Racek had always been a bitter rival for Zildiz’s affections. In the mating seasons he and Menash had flown the damsel-dance against each other countless times, racing and dogfighting at top speed through the dense bamboo thickets in an effort to impress her.
But each time she had always chosen Menash. Naturally. He was the stronger, the braver, the son of the Scourge who had slain hundreds on his lightning raids into Leaper territory. Their pairings had been brief and passionate, yet she had always laughed at the end and gone on her merry way, a rose petal borne on a scented breeze, the dalliance as meaningless to her as other concerns like eating or breathing.
But not to him. Right now, all that mattered was her. And Racek was the only one in the whole wide world who knew exactly how he felt. Did that mean he could be trusted? Menash considered the enormity of what he was about to do, and wavered. Then he saw her face in the darkness of his home, the face she wore when they were all alone together, and he took a deep breath before breaking the silence, saying:
“I’ll be in charge of the quarantine. I can arrange for you to disappear for a few days. I can have one of the younglings mimic your magnetosynaptic signal, make it seem like you’re with the rest of us.”
“You’d do that? For me?” Racek said in astonishment.
“Hah. Not for you,” Menash laughed softly. He looked Racek straight in the eyes and continued: “What’ll it be, then?”
If he so much as hesitates, I’ll have to kill him here and now, Menash told himself.
“Why, yes. Yes, of course!” the little brown male said vigorously.
“Good,” Menash sighed with relief, “She’ll be very grateful to whoever brings her home. I’d do it myself, but as an alpha I can’t risk being seen as disobedient.”
“Then why give me this chance? After all that’s passed between us?”
“I should have thought that was obvious,” Menash replied. Racek digested that for a bit, then out of nowhere said:
“If I find her—when I find her—I’ll tell her exactly who it was that sent me.”
“That won’t be necessary.”
“Bah! Just so we’re even, that’s all,” Racek grinned, his mouthparts slanting askew.
“Thanks, I guess. I’d…I’d appreciate that. You do understand what we’re risking here, right?”
“Sure. We’ll be total genetic write-offs if we’re caught. But it’s not like I wanted to see tiny ugly Raceks running around the house anyway. What about you, though? Why are you putting your neck on the chopping block?”
“You know why,” Menash said quietly, his thoughts still lingering on her face.
“Yes,” Racek agreed with a wistful air, “Yes, I suppose I do.”
And the pair spoke no more until they reached Chthonis.
Link for all the chapters available for free here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road

I realise this will probably get buried by Reddit but I think writing my thoughts down will help me either way. If someone does read I would like an outside perspective.
An inability to stick to any sort of routine or habit has been an issue since I've actually needed to do it which was when I first had exams for school.
I was just about intelligent enough to get away with it through school and end at a decent university doing mathematics. I'd like to point out I did try repeatedly to get routines working and tried most methods I could find online.
I had a year out of school before university where I worked hospitality jobs and jobs that required no experience and although I enjoyed my time out of education it made me realise it's not the kind of job I would like to work in long term.
I entered university with this mindset and decided I wouldn't fall back into my old ways from school. This lasted about a month and through all of first year I basically repeated my old habits and scraped passes in all my modules. Luckily first year results don't count towards my degree which I believed at the time to be the primary reason I didn't have any motivation.
For second year first semester I did consistent half-assed work convincing myself I was doing more than I was and that certain things weren't necessary. I've never actually done consistent work so I saw this progress. When exams came around I realised I've done nowhere near enough and decided now was the time to get my shit together for the second semester.
I bought and read the entirety of "atomic habits" byJames Clear and decided I would use it and advice from the Internet to rewire how I think and hopefully finally fix this issue that I see as the main barrier to me getting satisfaction from life.
I went about a week doing what I wanted until I slipped. I woke up and just couldn't make myself get out of bed. I was on my phone until about 4pm when I woke up at 10am.
For the next week this happened or I was similarly distracted 3/4 times and I realised that once the novelty of my routine sets in my brain is going to take the path of least resistance so I need to make doing my work the most enjoyable thing to do.
I deleted every app off my phone that I would use to distract me if I could. I barred myself from using any enjoyable pass time until I complete what I want done in the day. Unfortunately I realised quite quickly I could easily trick myself into thinking I had grasped a concept or that I had done sufficient work for the day too easily.
So I decided I wasn't allowed to watch any TV or do anything on the Internet. I stopped myself from listening to music. I basically removed anything that could have a quicker rewards response than my work from my life.
My productivity and focus was up for 2 days but then carne straight back down to where it was. My mind was able to distract me internally without needing external stimuli even when I put myself in a library cubical with no vision of my surroundings and noise cancelling headphones with nothing playing through. No matter how hard I tried to stay on task I would go down deep unrelated trains of thought.
The only times I can get consistent commitment are random times where I get 1-2 hours of focus. In these times I can achieve the same amount of work as I can in 6-7 hours of work when I'm distracted.
This semester felt like my hail Mary to get my life to a state where I have excitement about what my future will look like and now my first exam is tomorrow and I'm nowhere near the level I need to be for it.
I feel apathetic. I've been frustrated at times because I feel if I could just do some consistent work then these exams wouldn't even be difficult. But now I kind of feel nothing. I'm not depressed. Suicide has never crossed my mind nor will it. I just no longer have any sort of point or idea about even what approach to take in life.
Any advice, thoughts, opinions would be appreciated. I would like to point out if there's any productivity tip you have and it exists in on the Internet then I've almost certainly read it and tried it. I have had so many to-do lists, planners, calenders, and apps over my time trying to fix this.
The only thing I have yet to try is study drugs. I can source Adderall for myself illegally but it's very expensive if I wanted it daily and I'm concerned about potential addiction.

Hello all! I took some time off to focus on another project and give myself a fresh set of eyes for this book and query. I really underestimated the work that goes into a good query. I've revised the opening of my book and redone the query to be more dynamic. Any and all feedback is welcome!
Dear [agent],
Life is a death sentence, and James Cross has died 20 times. But, thanks to Clonecare, you can have your bullet and eat it too. James final clone-claim results in a “defective” clone that’s taller, smarter, and stronger. What James doesn’t know is that he’s now thrown into the middle of a conspiracy to hide the better clonecare that only the rich and powerful get. Adam Miller, CEO of the largest clone insurer in America, sends his personal assassin after James; a wall of muscle known only as “Janzen.” If James dies, he won’t be coming back this time.
Deciding that his life must mean more than the sum of his deaths, James wants to do something big. He has one year before his defective body will die. One year to change the world or die trying.
Nick Druune hasn’t been close to anyone since his violent and bitter divorce from his husband. But, due to poverty, he’ll be working alongside his ex-coworker, James Cross. James wants to make “The Emotional Network,” an app linking users on the same emotional spectrum. James tells Nick it’s because he wants users to see the human beyond the screen. Nick has his suspicions but can’t afford to pass up the job. He should have listened to his doubts.
Nick is too late to see what James was really building: a death cult. Death. Rebirth. Death. Business as usual, right? As rioting breaks out across America, a manhunt is on for James and Nick with the police and Adam Miller chasing after the two. The cult, fueled by James calling for more people to “self-claim,” asks the question: how do you stop a death cult when resurrection is on the table?
CLONECARE is a Sci-Fi, dark comedy about the value we place on life compared to the deductible we get billed for it. Complete at 97k words, this standalone novel will appeal to readers of Autonomous by Annalee Newitz and Mickey7 by Edward Ashton.
First 300:
Chapter 1
Twenty Deaths or Fewer

“You need to die less.”
The words had bounced around James’ mind for several days. As his body hurled toward the ground, he couldn’t stop thinking about dying less. It was his first suicide; he wasn’t sure what else to think about. Maybe he should have thought about his childhood. A warm memory of being with his mother. Anything other than the mundanity of policy changes and premium charges. What poetic things do other people die thinking about, he wondered. Of course there were a million other, better things to ponder while falling twenty stories. None of that mattered in the end. This end, that is; not any of the other twenty endings James has had. It had started three days ago, when James had a meeting with Marie Carmine, his local clone insurance agent. They met in her office at C-Insure when she had said it.
“You need to die less.”
James was dumbfounded. The problem wasn’t the price, the system, or the deep sigh in which Marie had callously said it, the problem was him, according to her.
Marie had given this speech to her customers with alarming frequency as of late. Even though she had lost count of the number of times she had explained the situation, it felt new and terrible and fresh every time one of her customers called or, in James Cross’s case, showed up at her door asking about their coverage change. She was at a loss for reassuring words after explaining the policy change to him.
“Maybe try and take a few days to weeks and calm down your adventures.” She felt like a doctor having to explain to a patient how to drink water.
“That’s your answer? Die less?

I took a look at the wiki and searched the sub and couldnt find a the answer I was looking for.
The website/information on the RMV is, very confusing in general. I can figure out berlin and Munichs system but not Frankfurts so please excuse a possible stupid question. I cant find a map showing validity zones for tickets and what not either.
I am trying to figure out how to get to Mainz for a half day trip. I know how to book the trip. I see I can take the S8 from near the zoo straight to Mainz HBF and back. However I cant find out if the RMV day ticket is valid for this trip and return. My assumption is that as long as its in the Sbahn I should be ok? Looks like its an 8 to 20 euro trip depending on the type of fair I use (using the DB) and it seems like the day pass is the easier option to use in general, as Ill probably be stopping in central Frankfurt on the way back to my hotel.
Can someone clarify this for me please?

I'm hearing this opinion in my college that the content in marrow is not at all enough for final year and we need to know more and if we study only marrow we will definitely fail? Apparently our seniors are saying so and some people are referencing this Anuj Pacchel guy for the same. I always thought people like him are high achievers so maybe from a gold medal point of view it may not be enough but for having decent knowledge and passing final year I didn't think it would be difficult with just marrow. Obviously I'm attending clinics and at the end of the year if any of the PYQs are too short in marrow (my definition of too short is one or two lines. I consider 2 or 3 pages to be big enough😂) then I'd read some really easy book for those questions like manipal. I did the same for pathology with pathoma and tara shanbaug in 2nd year and I was fine. Did the same in 3rd year for ent , ophthal and Community Medicine with marrow. Since final year videos and notes are so much bigger than the above mentioned subjects I never assumed it would be a problem but since everyone is scaring me that it is FINAL year and marrow is too less (?????) It won't be adequate
1) Also is it just me who finds marrow itself to be really vast? Like it takes me a long time to watch the videos and if I have to get down to memorising it takes even more but everyone uses marrow as a starting guide they can brush through fast and get to the books? How is it so easy for them? Also studying the notes with understanding once or twice isn't enough for me , I have to keep repeating it again or I'll forget . But overall I don't feel that I have a lack of conceptual understanding since I've only used such sources unless I absolutely haven't studied that topic but everyone seems to have an opposite opinion. Your ideas please
2) Anyone who followed the same as me (only marrow) and is doing fine?

I don’t know what I was thinking. I’ve gone back and looked at timestamps of our conversations. How did so much time pass so quickly?
I can’t stand the thought of you being gone forever. Everything hurts. Why couldn’t I snap out of it and come back to you?
I think about how it hurt you, me leaving, and it fucking kills me to think of you hurting so bad. I listened to a voicemail you left me. I cried with you, during the parts that you cried. How could I do that to someone I love so much?
I wish I could look you in the eyes so bad and just say “I am so sorry for everything that I did wrong”.
The truth is I didn’t realize I was fucking up. I thought the decisions I was making were rational. Fuck do I miss you more than anything.
I am so sorry.
😞
I don’t think I’ve got much left in me, dude. This is fucking killing me. It’s all I think about and I can’t get myself to do much else.
I love you more than anything. I’m so sorry.

I feel like a failure as an adult. A few years ago my partner passed away when I was 29 and it completely changed the trajectory of my life. I love them and will always miss them, but have kind of had to figure out how I’m going to live my life without them. I always thought we would get married and have our own place and wasn’t super worried about money because I thought we would have both of our incomes. When they passed, I had to move back in with family, and I’ve been saving to move back out on my own. My family will be moving about 2 hours away in a few months, and I don’t want to move to the town they are moving to so I will finally be moving out again. Before I always lived with roommates or partners and am now realizing I will have to find roommates again because I can’t afford to live on my own at all. I got a new job a few months ago and it pays more than my last job, but it’s the kind where you have to build clientele and I feel like people are just not coming to get the services done as frequently because everything is too expensive for people right now. I’ve also been dating again for a while and every guy I’ve dated has ended things with me. I’ve asked if it’s something that I’ve done or am doing so I can fix it, but every guy although initially wanting a relationship would say something like it’s not a good time for them right now or they’re just not ready for a relationship. It is making me feel very rejected. I feel like I’m trying to do everything I can to make my life what I want it to be, I’m trying to make more money at work, trying to put myself out there to find a partner, I go to therapy, take medication, exercise, spend time with friends and family, and try to do hobbies and I just feel like I’m nowhere close to where I want to be in life. I’m trying to be grateful for what I have, but this is just not where I thought my life would be at this age.

Bluehost and HostGator are two of the most popular web hosting providers that are recommended by almost every review website.
Those are of course affiliate-run review websites and both Bluehost and HostGator pay good commissions to their affiliates.
On Reddit, you won't find many favorable reviews of these two hosts. You'd often be advised to just avoid them without being given much details as to why.
So let me elaborate on some of the reasons why you might be better off picking another provider.

High Renewal Prices

The biggest issue with Bluehost and HostGator are the high renewal prices of their plans. They initially give you a discounted price for the first year, then they charge you a high premium price that isn't justified by the features or support they offer IMO.
Watch out for those sneaky "free" features that renew at a high price. For example, you may get a free .com domain for the first year, then you pay $20 per year for renewal plus $15 for Whois privacy (if you need it).
Let's see how much the basic "$2.95/month" hosting plan from Bluehost will cost to renew after the first year (with essential add-ons): $144 for the hosting plan + $20 for .com renewal + $15 for Whois privacy + $48 for CodeGuard (if you need backups) + $84 for SiteLock (if you need malware protection) + $25 for email (per email account) = $336 per year!
I've paid less than half that price at various other hosts and got better features, resources and support!

Poor Outsourced Support

You'd think such a premium price at least comes with a premium support service...nope! Bluehost and HostGator both outsource their support, which is another major drawback.
It's mostly canned replies from their first-line support agents, and sometimes it's a useless copy-paste answer that doesn't actually answer your question.
I might tolerate that if I was paying only $3 per month or so, but that's far from being the case here.

Market Dominance Practices

Some of the critical reviews of Bluehost and HostGator on Reddit have to do with their market dominance and acquisitions.
You don't read about this on review sites, but Bluehost and HostGator are owned by the same parent company called Newfold Digital, which also owns about a hundred other brands including Domain.com, Web.com, Register.com, Network Solutions, Crazy Domains, and others.
They seek market dominance by buying out smaller competitors and investing heavily in marketing (search ads and affiliate commissions).
For example, iPage was once a popular web host, then it was acquired by Newfold Digital (formerly EIG) and things went downhill until they shut it down and redirected traffic to Bluehost. Arvixe was another hosting provider that used to be great before it was acquired by Newfold/EIG who ran it into the ground and swallowed it.
The bottom line is, although Bluehost and HostGator have some decent features, they leave much to be desired. They could have more reasonable and transparent prices, less upselling, and better-trained chat support agents.
Until (and if) that happens, I'll add my voice to that of many Redditors and say you're better off steering clear of Bluehost, HostGator, and the rest of Newfold Digital companies.

I’m 19F first year of uni and I cannot study till the night before an exam. Growing up I was an “iPad kid” I was either watching tv or playing with an iPad 24/7 non stop. I had no structure in life, never did sports ( my parents wouldn’t let me) didn’t have friends and was lonely and isolated myself. I HATED SCHOOL. I love learning but I never was able to grasp science and math as well as other kids and teachers would refuse to help me. In high school I would be transferred to other sections because teachers wanted the “smart kids”. I was also made fun of a lot so when I would come home I’ll distract myself with devices to make me feel better and forget my reality. I somehow was able to pass but with D’s and F’s. I never understood what’s wrong with me, I would do well in school and get straight A’s for a couple of weeks then just fall off and fail. To make it short I was able to graduate high school with a C+.
My biggest regret is not doing well in high school. I wasn’t able to get a scholarship to travel abroad, which was my only hope and what kept me from not dropping out. I enrolled at a local university and I thought I would be able to transfer. I did okay the first semester ending with a 3.0 gpa. But now it’s the second semester and I’m failing. I hate myself, i can’t keep up the work load and I don’t attend my lectures. I just sit in my room all day watching tv shows and movies. I try to work but I just cannot I can’t explain the feeling. I’m so jealous of girls who can just sit down and study, have a social life, and be able to enjoy school. I’m embarrassed of myself and ashamed, I always think about if I went abroad and become a new person. Every time I go somewhere I see someone I went to high school with and just feel ashamed ( I live in city where everyone knows everyone ). They’re having fun and are successful and I’m still struggling. How can I forget my past and work hard.

My partner’s (NB23) little brother (16M) passed away a month ago. My partner’s family live in a different country, and I made sure we could fly out there asap, organised care for our dogs, etc.- they insisted I go with them for support and because I knew their brother too.
I’ve always been scared of my partner’s mum, who really throws her emotions out there and will explode if something doesn’t go her way. Alongside trying to stay on her good side, the family have a medium (as is normal in their culture) who was guiding them through the death- no money involved, just a very good friend. This medium told me I have a gift and proceeded to do some rituals with me that involved touching my naked body for hours. I still can’t figure out what the f*ck that was, but I felt very violated afterwards. Tried to talk to my partner’s mum about it and she brushed me off as “bigheaded” for “showing off about my gift”.
I stayed pretty quiet throughout our trip. I guess I was pretty spaced out with everything…my partner exploded at me a couple times, saying I think their family’s a burden, because I wasn’t being vocal and cheery. All of it just flew over my head, I felt numb. On returning my partner stayed in their home country for a while. My partner and their mum both texted me a number of insults, calling me “shit”, a hypocrite, an exaggerator, etc etc. essentially just any insult they could think of. I eventually broke down and revealed what the medium had done with me. Neither really cared.
When my partner got back, I reiterated what the medium had done in full detail and my partner broke down completely on realising what had happened, was inconsolable, it was pretty scary. The next morning they tried to tell me they thought it was genuinely an innocent ritual. I didn’t want to have that conversation. They told their mum the details, and she apparently “blew up” at the medium- whatever he told her, she came away also thinking what he did was fine…therefore me being quiet and keeping to myself on the trip STILL deserved the insults.
My partner has since urged me to reach out and apologise to their mum…I don’t know what for. I guess for “making” her feel that I think their family is a burden?? Fuck knows. Since they’ve been back, my partner’s just been doing nothing. I spent over 2k getting us to their home country urgently and asked for a little contribution, as it was all of my savings. They said they had sent me money, realised they hadn’t, and haven’t done anything since. They quit their job, they order takeaway 2-3x a day, they invite friends over and go out with them without consulting with me re dog care, and they’re just miserable. Yet they seem to expect me to be fine, to accept what the medium did, to apologise to their mum(???), and to support them wholeheartedly, whilst pulling crazy hours at work to build my savings back up. Quite frankly I can’t. How on earth am I supposed to move forward? What am I supposed to say? How do I tiptoe round the grief?

My undergrad gpa was like a 2.15 due to failing courses after my grandpa passed away unexpectedly. I’m looking to get my masters in education and I’m having trouble. Is there any programs I can take or if anyone knows how I can get into a masters program with that low of a gpa. Any advice helps ! Thank you

I just want to start by saying I don't know who is going to see this, but if you do I want to thank you in advance. God brought you here for a reason. Also, what I'm about to say is a lot so feel free to skim or read it all if you have the time.
Lately, I've been struggling a lot with depression and stomach pain due to the depression. I love my parents but sometimes they are hard to love. My parents rarely get along and argue most of the day. It got bad to the point where my dad choked my mom one night. He did apologize to all of us but I still find it unsettling and weird being around them lately. We had a family talk about everything and I said to feel comfortable I would like for us to receive counseling which no surprise my mother was against it because she said it'd be expensive. Also she feels how does the problems she has going on affect me? She'll deal with them herself (she has anger issues due to childhood trauma and takes it out on others). Anyway, some other stressful factors is that my parents do not make much money at all so therefore we all have lived in a small two bedroom apartment for 15 years. I never had my own room I always have to share with my brothers.
Currently, I just graduated college but have to continue to get my masters. I still never owned a car due to transportation being limited since I share my parents car. It's been hard because I have to schedule around them and because of that it's hard to save enough money especially after paying for all four years of my college expenses (my parents were unable to help). I still currently pay for my own groceries and sometimes have to cover our whole phone bill if my parents are unable to pay it. Also, being back home this summer I still have no friends in this town, only back where I went to school which is 4 hours away. So, most of time I am sitting at home waiting for the car to get to work. The job I currently work at barely schedules me so I have applied to over 20 jobs this past week with nothing heard back. Also where I'm moving for masters is 4 hours away and I still have to figure out how to cover rent or if I can afford to buy a car since I am going to be living in a dangerous city. The only response I got from my parents is what if you don't get a job? This hurt me a lot because I believe that with God I could get a job, he said nothing will be impossible. Just feels like I have no support from them and overall I'm feel depressed about it all.
I just want to crawl in my bed and never come out. I am so sad and angry and I don't what to do.