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My Sizegenix review: Comparing with other male enhancement supplements Real world feedback

2024.03.12 09:56 Fragrant_Tutor8631 My Sizegenix review: Comparing with other male enhancement supplements Real world feedback

Quick Summary

After delving into SizeGenix and comparing it to other male enhancement supplements, I've found that it presents a unique blend aimed at boosting overall sexual performance, energy, and possibly size. All-in-all decent supplement, would rate 3/5.
However, While it offers a broad spectrum of benefits, it might not have the high-dosed, fast-acting ingredients of Performer8 or the specific advantages of Yohimbe found in Extenze for those cautious about side effects.
Nor does it specifically target premature ejaculation as effectively as Prosolution Plus.
If you're searching for a more general enhancement supplement with a mix of natural ingredients, SizeGenix could be worth considering.
However, for more specific needs—whether it's rapid effects, safety concerns with certain ingredients, overall enhancement, or lasting longer—other supplements might be better tailored to meet those goals. What works best varies significantly from one person to another based on individual health, expectations, and specific sexual health goals.

What is SizeGenix?

SizeGenix claims to be the ultimate male enhancement pill, offering not just improved sexual performance but a significant increase in penis size.
At first glance, it seems like the holy grail for guys looking to boost their confidence and satisfaction in the bedroom. The supplement is said to be powered by a blend of natural ingredients, each chosen for their potential to enhance male virility.
They say it can not only improve sexual performance but also increase size, which honestly sounds too good to be true. But with its popularity and the buzz it's creating in forums and review sites, I figured it's worth taking a closer look.

SizeGenix vs Competitors

When considering SizeGenix in comparison to other popular male enhancement supplements, it's crucial to weigh its benefits and target areas against what others offer. Here's how SizeGenix stacks up:
vs Performer8
Performer8 is renowned for its high-dosed, fast-acting ingredients like Epimedium (Horny Goat Weed, 1000mg) and Panax Ginseng (6000mg), aimed at those looking for immediate effects in erectile function and libido enhancement.
If your priority is rapid onset and powerful herbal doses specifically for inducing stronger erections, Performer8 might be your go-to. SizeGenix, with its proprietary blend, offers a broader approach to male enhancement but may not match Performer8's potency in quick action.
vs Extenze
Extenze is a well-known option for those cautious about the potential side effects of Yohimbe yet still interested in its benefits. Given the FDA's warnings about certain Yohimbe products, Extenze presents itself as a safer alternative within this category.
If you're drawn to the specific benefits of Yohimbe for erectile strength and libido but prefer a product with a safety profile mindful of regulatory advice, Extenze could be preferable. SizeGenix, lacking Yohimbe, might be better suited for users looking for a different blend of natural ingredients.
vs Vigrx Plus
Vigrx Plus holds the title of the best overall male enhancement supplement for many users, offering comprehensive benefits like improved erectile function, libido, and sexual satisfaction over time.
If you're seeking an enhancement product with a longstanding reputation and a wide range of benefits supported by clinical studies, Vigrx Plus might edge out SizeGenix. SizeGenix may appeal more to those interested in trying a newer formulation or specific ingredients not emphasized in Vigrx Plus.
vs Prosolution Plus
Prosolution Plus shines in its focus on improving sexual stamina and treating premature ejaculation (PE) naturally. It's tailored for men who want to extend their performance and gain more control during sexual activities.
If PE or the desire to last longer is your primary concern, Prosolution Plus could offer targeted support in these areas. Meanwhile, SizeGenix, with its diverse ingredient profile, provides a more general approach to enhancement that might not specifically address PE as effectively as Prosolution Plus.

Targeted demographic - who Sizegenix it best for?

The target demographic appears to be men who are not only looking to enhance their sexual prowess but are also interested in the physical aspect of increasing their size. The big sell is the promise of a larger, more impressive erection and the positive impact that could have on one's sex life and self-esteem.
But beyond the surface, SizeGenix also positions itself as a solution for common male sexual health issues, such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and low libido.
It's marketed towards men seeking a natural way to address these concerns without resorting to prescription medications. The claimed benefits include improved blood flow, increased testosterone levels, and enhanced sexual stamina, all leading to a more fulfilling and satisfying sexual experience.
In essence, SizeGenix is presented as an all-in-one solution for men looking to significantly upgrade their sexual health and performance.
Who SizeGenix May Be Best For:
Suggested Alternatives:
Remember, while SizeGenix may offer a broad spectrum of sexual health benefits due to its combination of ingredients, individual results can vary.

Pros & Cons of SizeGenix

Pros:
Cons:

My evaluation of Sizegenix performance

here's how I'd evaluate the product across the specified performance categories:

Key Ingredients

What do people have to say? Real world feedback

Common Criticisms and Concerns: Among the critical feedback, the most common concerns revolve around the lack of significant results, especially given the product's price point. Skepticism about the promise of increased size is a recurring theme, with some users feeling misled by the bold marketing claims.

Bottomline

While some users find SizeGenix to be a game-changer in their sexual health regime, others remain unconvinced on if it works. It's a reminder that supplements affect everyone differently, and what works for one person may not work for another.
If you're considering SizeGenix, it might be worth exploring with realistic expectations and a healthy dose of skepticism. There might be better supplements for specific needs.
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2024.03.10 00:15 robertomaxer VigRX Plus: A Risk & Benefit Evaluation

VigRX Plus is a male enhancement supplement known for improving sexual health by supporting sexual desire and promoting harder erections without a prescription [4]. Recommended by Dr. Steven Lamm and brought to market by Leading Edge Health in 2007, VigRX Plus pills hold promise for those seeking enhanced male sexual function with minimal effort [3].
The review of VigRX Plus will provide insight into its key ingredients and their individual benefits, the working mechanism of these tablets, and a comparison with competitors. Safety considerations, including possible side effects, and testimonials will be discussed. To understand where to buy VigRX Plus original and its pricing, this article will guide readers through the necessary information and the results one can anticipate from consistent use [1][2][6][7].
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What is VigRXPlus?
VigRX Plus is a comprehensive dietary supplement aimed at enhancing male sexual health. Here's a closer look at its composition and intended benefits:
  1. Herbal Ingredients: The supplement is a polyherbal concoction, combining a variety of herbs known for their beneficial effects on sexual function. These include:
· Panax ginseng and Tribulus terrestris, which are believed to support sexual stamina and libido [1].
· Ginkgo biloba and Hawthorn Berry, which may improve blood flow, a crucial aspect of achieving and maintaining erections [5].
· Saw Palmetto Berry and Muira Pauma Bark Extract, traditionally used for promoting sexual health [5].
  1. Aphrodisiac Properties: VigRX Plus harnesses the aphrodisiac qualities of plants from various continents, aiming to address sexual dysfunctions like premature ejaculation (PE). The blend includes:
· Asian Ginseng Root and Epimedium Leaf Extract from China, which have been used historically to enhance sexual desire [5].
· Catuaba Bark Extract from South America, contributing to heightened sexual arousal [5].
· Cuscuta Seed Extract, a Chinese medicinal herb, potentially improving sperm health and count [5].
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  1. Safety and Accessibility:
· Manufactured by Leading Edge Health, VigRX Plus is not intended to diagnose or cure diseases but to supplement sexual health [6][8].
· It is available without a prescription, making it easily accessible for men seeking to improve their sexual performance [8].
· The product is non-addictive and is shipped discreetly to protect customer privacy [9].
VigRX Plus stands out as a reformulated version of the original VigRX, with added ingredients like Bioperine to enhance absorption and efficacy [1]. It is not a cure for erectile dysfunction (ED), but preclinical evidence suggests it has the potential to manage ED symptoms [1].
Key Ingredients and Their Benefits
The formulation of VigRX Plus is designed with natural ingredients that have undergone scientific testing to ensure efficacy and safety for users. However, it's important to note that while the product contains a blend of ingredients like damiana, bioperine, ginkgo biloba, and saw palmetto, some claims regarding their effectiveness for erectile dysfunction or low libido may lack sufficient scientific evidence [4][6]. Despite this, the presence of Bioperine may enhance the overall effectiveness of the supplement by increasing the absorption of these key ingredients [12].
How VigRXPlus Works
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Comparing VigRXPlus to Competitors
Clinical Studies and Results
Clinical studies have played a crucial role in establishing the efficacy and safety of VigRX Plus. Here are the key findings from various research efforts:
These findings demonstrate that VigRX Plus can be an effective and well-tolerated option for men looking to improve various aspects of their sexual health and performance.
User Testimonials and Reviews
In summary, user reviews on platforms like Trustpilot and global ratings indicate a generally positive reception of VigRX Plus, with a combined average rating of 3.5 to 4.1 stars out of 5 [8][13]. However, individual experiences with the product's effectiveness and side effects vary, and consumers should consider these factors alongside clinical evidence when evaluating VigRX Plus as an option for male enhancement.
Possible Side Effects and Safety Considerations
In light of these considerations, it's important for potential users of VigRX Plus to consult with a healthcare provider to discuss any possible adverse effects or withdrawal symptoms before beginning the supplement [8]. While some users have reported positive effects, others have experienced nausea, headaches, and diarrhea, highlighting the variability of individual reactions to the supplement [4]. Given the lack of conclusive scientific evidence supporting the efficacy of VigRX Plus for ED or sexual enhancement and the potential for unwanted side effects, professional medical advice is strongly recommended [8].
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Where to Buy and Pricing Options
When considering purchasing VigRX Plus, customers have several options for where to buy and how to save on their orders:
In summary, consumers have the flexibility to purchase VigRX Plus either directly from the official website for the best per-dose pricing and money-back guarantee, or through Amazon for the convenience of shopping on a familiar platform. The choice of vendor and subscription options can influence the overall cost and savings available to the buyer.
Conclusion
Throughout this detailed exploration, we've dissected the various layers of VigRX Plus, from its herbal-rich origins to its potential benefits for sexual health. By reflecting on the experiences of users and the insights from clinical studies, it's clear that while individual results may vary, there is a tangible sense of optimism about the product's capabilities. Its all-natural formulation and the broad scope of positive user testimonials provide confidence in the prospect of enhancing male sexual performance and overall well-being.
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2023.02.12 10:00 sunghooter [The Wine Connoisseur]Elaine tries to impress a new guy she's dating by pretending to be a wine connoisseur. A movie director offers Jerry a role in a film about standup. Kramer mistakenly buys Extenze at a gas station and gives George one.

Story Arc 1 - Elaine
Elaine begins dating a man she met at a wine mixer and pretends to be a wine connoisseur to try and impress him but keeps slipping up. When they first met, the man said he worked in hospitality but didn't mention his specific title. Elaine keeps up the ruse talking about "tannins" and subtle "notes" of the wines but it blows up in her face in the third act when she suggests red wine paired with salmon. The man tells her he's had enough, has been humoring her about wine, and was actually a master sommelier. His name is Girard.
Story Arc 2 - Jerry
An acclaimed but eccentric movie director Taylor Kensington attends a standup show of Jerry's and they meet up afterwards in the green room. The director mentions he's casting for a movie about standup comedy, mumbles something about auditioning, and tells Jerry he has a role for him in the film. Jerry's confused after the director leaves because of how ambiguous he was about what role Jerry would play or even if he still had to audition. Jerry struggles with appearing in the film unsure if he had to audition and fear of rejection. Jerry goes to a vineyard for an on location screen-test for the film and discovers Kensington wants Jerry to play a heckler in the audience of a comedy show at the vineyard and storms off refusing to "become the thing I swore to destroy" running into Elaine with Girard who is the films technical advisor.
Story Arc 3 - Kramer and George
Kramer walks into a gas station exhausted from playing poker all night and notices a few pills on a display next to the register one of which had the words "Ener-G energy supplement" in large bright letters. The one beside it is light blue in color and has "ExtenZe" on it with the slogan "Reclaim your vitality". So Kramer assumes they're both for energy and buys ExtenZe because its cheaper. He takes one and later notices his blood really pumping and energized and offers one to George whose also tired from watching documentaries the night before. George takes it and goes to work at the Yankees but by this time, Kramer has noticed he's been at "full mast" for "1 hour, 46 minutes, and 7 seconds" and looks closer at the label on the pills. Kramers shocked to discover they are male enhancement supplements and not energy pills and calls George at work to warn him. George exclaims "YOU GAVE ME BONER PILLS?" loudly in his office which Aida his secretary overhears.
Kramer says "George, it says to go the the emergency room if an erection lasts more the 4 hours. That's two hours and 15 minutes away and it shows NO SIGN OF STOPPING!". Kramer has to go to the ER for his erection and later convinces Jackie Chiles to take his case and sue the pill company and the gas station for false advertising, undue stress, and medical bills. The owner of the pill company, Tom Salinas, refused to settle and racked up such huge legal fees he had to sell the vineyard he owned canceling the production of Kensingtons movie and causing Girard to lose his job.
"Boy, you really screwed a lot of people with that four hour erection of yours, Kramer!"
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2023.01.13 04:59 Tiny_Ambassador4595 You Tube Try On Hauls and Extenze Pills????

My 2nd husband and I have been married for 7 years. A good while back he was acting strange, distant….very unusual for him. I remember one time he shaved his nether region and I questioned him about it he said he did it for me but he had only done that one time before when we started dating in 2013. Strange at the time but I let it go. Then I thought things got a little better for a few months but things got strange again. I actually accused him of running around and had been going thru his vehicle looking for evidence. Then I found the empty wrapper for Extenze(male enhancement pills) in his vehicle console. He panicked, I absolutely lost it. His explanation was a guy at work told him these pills would help with energy as he said he had been really tired for several months. He said it worked. Problem is he had been taking them for 9 months and hid it. I am a nurse and find that so strange. He told me it had been a long time since he had taken them but I found a receipt in his car where he purchased them after he said he stopped. The guy did a complete turn around after I found them….wanted to start doing weekend trips, buying flowers for me like he use to, remodeled the kitchen I had wanted for a few years. It was overkill. I was convinced there was more to the story. At this point I am going thru everything….phone records, texts, bank account…I did find where 1400.00 in cash withdrawal was taken out over a 6 week period during the time he took the pills which was unusual because he pays for everything with his debit card. Nothing off in phone records or texts but his data would be thru the roof before work, at lunch and after work for the same time period he took the pills….9 months. He did fess up and say he had been watching lingerie try on hauls on you tube. He would go back and delete his search history and also go into settings and clear history and website data in Safari. When it all came out he immediately blamed me and said “I thought you didn’t love me anymore.” So that’s why you took pecker pills and watched Youtube???? He said his job had gotten really stressful during all of this and contributed to his decisions as well. I’m just not buying it. Was it a real affair, an online affair? Trust is out the window. Seems like a lot of hiding and lying for energy pills and Youtube. Your thoughts please…don’t hold back.
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2022.07.08 02:12 seekerblackout Entry List for the 2011 Daytona 500

  1. 00- David Reutimann - Aaron's Dream Machine - Michael Waltrip Racing
  2. 09- Bill Elliott - Security Benefit/Rydex/Billboard.com - Phoenix Racing
  3. 1- Aric Almirola - Bass Pro Shops/Tracker Boats - Dale Earnhardt Inc.
  4. 2- Kurt Busch - Miller Lite - Penske Racing
  5. 4- Kevin Harvick - Budweiser - Stewart-Haas Racing
  6. 5- Casey Mears - Carquest Auto Parts - Hendrick Motorsports
  7. 6- David Ragan - UPS - Roush-Fenway Racing
  8. 7- Robby Gordon - Speed Energy - Robby Gordon Motorsports
  9. 8- Brad Keselowski - GoDaddy.com - Dale Earnhardt Inc.
  10. 9- Justin Allgaier - Dodge Dealers - Evernham Motorsports
  11. 11- Denny Hamlin - FedEx Express - Joe Gibbs Racing
  12. 13- Max Papis - Geico - Germain Racing
  13. 14- Tony Stewart - Office Depot - Stewart-Haas Racing
  14. 15- Michael Waltrip - NAPA Auto Parts - Michael Waltrip Racing
  15. 16- Jamie McMurray - 3M - Roush-Fenway Racing
  16. 17- Matt Kenseth - Crown Royal Black - Roush-Fenway Racing
  17. 18- Kyle Busch - M&M's - Joe Gibbs Racing
  18. 19- Scott Riggs - Stanley Tools - Evernham Motorsports
  19. 20- Joey Logano - The Home Depot - Joe Gibbs Racing
  20. 21- Trevor Bayne - Motorcraft/QuickLane - Wood Brothers Racing
  21. 22- AJ Allmendinger - Shell/Pennzoil - Penske Racing
  22. 23- Ken Schrader - CRMone We Drive Service - Fas Lane Racing
  23. 24- Jeff Gordon - Drive To End HungeAARP - Hendrick Motorsports
  24. 27- Paul Menard - Peak/Menard's - Richard Childress Racing
  25. 28- Jeremy Mayfield - Valvoline - Yates Racing
  26. 29- Clint Bowyer - BB&T - Richard Childress Racing
  27. 31- Jeff Burton - Caterpillar - Richard Childress Racing
  28. 32- Terry Labonte - US Chrome - Fas Lane Racing
  29. 33- Greg Biffle - Cheerios/Hamburger Helper - Richard Childress Racing
  30. 34- David Stremme - Taco Bell - Front Row Motorsports
  31. 35- Patrick Carpentier - Unsponsored - Tommy Baldwin Racing
  32. 36- Dave Blaney - Golden Corral - Tommy Baldwin Racing
  33. 37- Tony Raines - North Texas Pipe- Max Q Motorsports
  34. 38- David Gilliland - OneMain Financial - Yates Racing
  35. 39- Ryan Newman - US Army - Stewart-Haas Racing
  36. 40- Casey Atwood - Monster Energy - Chip Ganassi Racing
  37. 42- Juan Pablo Montoya - Target - Chip Ganassi Racing
  38. 43- Reed Sorenson - Best Buy - Richard Petty Motorsports
  39. 44- Marcos Ambrose - DeWalt Tools - Richard Petty Motorsports
  40. 46- Chad McCumbee - AAMCO Transmissions/Red Line Oil - Whitney Motorsports
  41. 47- Sam Hornish Jr. - KrogeUSO - JTG Daugherty Racing
  42. 48- Jimmie Johnson - Lowe's/Kobalt Tools - Hendrick Motorsports
  43. 51- Landon Cassill - Phoenix Construction - Phoenix Racing
  44. 56- Martin Truex Jr. - NAPA Auto Parts - Michael Waltrip Racing
  45. 57- Norm Benning - Unsponsored - Norm Benning Racing
  46. 60- Todd Bodine - Tire Kingdom/Valvoline - Germain Racing
  47. 64- Derrike Cope - Sta-Bil - Max Q Motorsports
  48. 66- Michael McDowell - Unsponsored - HP Racing
  49. 71- Andy Lally - Super Eco-Fuel Saver - TRG Motorsports
  50. 77- Steven Wallace - 5 Hour Energy/Aspen Dental - Rusty Wallace Racing
  51. 78- Regan Smith - Furniture Row - Furniture Row Racing
  52. 82- Kasey Kahne - Red Bull - Red Bull Racing
  53. 83- Brian Vickers - Red Bull - Red Bull Racing
  54. 84- Scott Speed - Unsponsored - Red Bull Racing
  55. 87- Joe Nemechek - AM FM Energy/Pellet & Wood Stoves - NEMCO Motorsports
  56. 88- Dale Earnhardt Jr. - AMP Energy - Hendrick Motorsports
  57. 89- Robert Richardson Jr. - Racing With Jesus - Faith Motorsports
  58. 92- Brian Keselowski - Unsponsored - K-Automotive Motorsports
  59. 96- JJ Yeley - DLP HDTV - Hall of Fame Racing
  60. 97- Kevin Conway - Extenze - NEMCO Motorsports
  61. 99- Carl Edwards - Aflac - Roush-Fenway Racing
Bold = go-or-go-homer
Reminder of how the 42 starters are determined:
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2022.07.06 16:18 relaxamentoereviews ❌ EXTENZE REVIEW DO NOT BUY WITHOUT SEEING IT EXTENZE REVIEWS ❌

❌ EXTENZE REVIEW DO NOT BUY WITHOUT SEEING IT EXTENZE REVIEWS ❌ submitted by relaxamentoereviews to u/relaxamentoereviews [link] [comments]


2022.06.17 03:55 electricchair-leg (Untitled.) First Time

This is a fictional story I wrote, with partial non-fictional parts, mostly fictional though. If I could get feedback that'd be nice. I have written for sometime but I think I found a place where I can enjoy the stimulus to satisfy my nervous system. I haven't gotten feedback for it but I really want to improve. Thanks.

Tiffany, has the hoodrat music taste from a DJ that played obscure rap music for high school backyard parties. She got it for free. Chicks will gravitate to it like spring breakers, they want nothing to do with classes for two weeks, just invite them and they say, 'Ooh, this song that says, 'my neck, my back, my pussy and my crack,' talks to me.' For the people that don’t know, it's the chicks that dance almost naked and start shaking their privates, then throw the rest of their clothes in the crowd. It’s an orgy but made for the eyes. The whole lady in the streets freak in the sheets is her but her fashion is classy casual and it’s hiding underneath, but now she's getting many invites to parties from this DJ.
Tiffany wants to do it with me and gives it another try, but it’s strange because this time it is without the subliminal messages of that hoodrat song. She knows her way into a heart. One day we are looking at the sunset and the sunset is feasting on our wonder, it already ate our eyes and sockets, and she shoots a cupid arrow through my heart when she says ‘There is no finish line in the horizon, the horizon is an illusion.' I tell her 'How far have you gone and on what?” I am talking about the cannibalistic horizon directly in front of us and if on a boat or a plane, and she said 'it stays the same distance even on a boat.' Since I started writing this I have been obsessing over the tail chase of the horizon and the dreamy stare in her face when she said that, and about how this little luck I had is the opposite of the small dot earth looks like in space from light years away. It’s a cool scale Carl Sagan use to make humanity existence insignificant, but as the years go by, it keeps growing and growing, the size of two Jupiters put together. And this memory doesn't have a solution, hundreds of light years doesn’t fix it. This is how big my little luck is and it’s leaving a lot of photo albums empty.
I remember I was 16, feeling like I was half naked in Cancun and wanted by Tiffany. I didn't say a word to my friends anymore. I was entering the early stage of adulthood, the spotlight is big and bright, the rite of passages is what you got to succeed in. No words of a loser will come from my mouth anymore, this is worth a photo to put in the Purpose of Life photo album.
Tiff is cute as a little B-list horror movie actor. Scream had released 3 movies in the span of 5 years. Neve Campbell was fresh in my mind since I was ten-years old. Years passed like a snap of a finger and it’s true what they say, time passes by and it literally just becomes memories or they leave you with nothing, but at ten you have very little important memories, you just remember faces.
I am at Tiffany’s house, we’re in her dimmed kitchen and I notice something familiar, it’s the exact glare in Neve Campbell’s eyes. The glare I found in certain Scream scenes, like after sleeping with Billy she had this quizzical look squinting out the window, wondering who the killer was. I completely forgot she was in 7th Heaven also, just to clarify this story isn’t about horror at all, she just happens to have Neve Campbell’s eyes. And they look like they're always thinking of escaping with day dreams. The daylight leaking in the kitchen entered her eyes and it looked like a fire burning, and I think I could stare at them for hours long, as the sun rays changed to dusk. They're ignited like small day moons on fire in the blue sky around a few specks of freckles.
At 2 in the morning Tiffany messages me on AIM. I wasn't surprising actually, her courage was strange to me, but as a good looking chick you need it to maneuver for what you want and don't want. She can get you to say she is classy despite her raunchy music taste, that’s what she wants to hear. She doesn’t beat around the bush and she thinks ‘Why should I have shame in front of someone I want?’ She replies quickly if she could come over to my house. She doesn't care that I think she could approach it like I am not only a high school fuck.
In these late hours infomercials are very popular for everyone going through basic insomnia. Infomercials spread to pop culture, and after late shows and syndication TV they come on under no TV network responsibility. On Saturday night, shows like MAD TV are mocking them like in the 90s ShamWow squeegee was very popular, comics basically said it takes a cocaine dealer and a new client relationship to make it work. The video editors just know how to build a little pyramid of produce and put the price at the top, so it feels like if you’re paying $40 you’re getting 120 dollars worth of Squeegees, or 1,000 dollars worth of Extenze slash the Erectile Dysfunction pill for 40 bucks. It's a scam but it isn't. This particular night the blue color of my room turned dull from the TV lighting. Insomnia kept me up all night. I was being lulled by the ED pills infomercials on repeat for 30 minutes, after, another 30 minutes. My room expired on this morning of June, it turned to a mold gray. The same musical part that is building momentum to the climax, which is the price that also rhymes, never felt like regular TV for kids, especially with insomnia and it was fitting for old men with disrupted sleep. The price ending with nine rhymes with wine and it’s not a coincidence. I already feel I am on a different planet, being young is making me feel twice isolated. The narrator of the 'mercial is selling these pills in that rhythmic voice like the old deal slogan $9.99 are you outta your mind? I can’t get that slogan outta my mind since I heard it the first time but now I am in Mercury or Neptune and I am too young to drink a glass of wine. These consumerisms are replacing photo albums. Buying any product for the rhyming price is buying your dead misery back. It doesn't make sense but it makes sense if you find the squeegees buried in the garage with the old photo albums. Tiffany, she already sold me she wanted me once, I was overthinking she was selling herself like an infomercial, maybe her plan was the same but she will act like a smart bed, that’s what I am asking for, for my insomnia.
Being wanted was like wet clothes I was growing into at Knotts Berry Farm, after the water rapids ride.
So Tiffany messages me on A.I.M., ‘I am on my way.’ I get disillusioned from the Erectile Dysfunction 'mercial, the rhythmic sound frequency is rising and is rising and the TV lighting is growing and is growing into the large satisfied man’s face with unclogged veins in his dick, a renewed relationship, a happy again wife, suffocating the dull walls of my rooms and my eardrums sinking to the foundation of the room because the guy is now talking in word contractions acting spoiled.
I hadn't seen Tiff since she played that freaky song, and she basically popped her pom-poms spelling out M Y N E C K, M Y B A C K, L I C K M Y P U S S Y A N D M Y C R A C K, and asked me, ‘What’s that spell?’ And I responded like it was calculus and said ‘I don’t know,’ and she said laughing, ‘Fuck me.’ I miss her. God was a fan of her blatant teasing and this is because she will procreate twice before she gets to tenth grade. She messages ‘I am coming over,’ again. My hungry stomach acid is the only thing awake with me, and now Tiffany’s ambitious desire for me. The taste of hunger is hard to fall asleep with, the feeling is lonely and it’s hard to survive the night with insomnia and now I am thinking I am just a HS fuck with an imminent earthquake fault in my heart. I was getting 8 hours of sleep when I knew she wanted me, and didn't have time to think literally of the Devil. Tiff tells me she was watching the same infomercial and says that guy with the once-ED miracle, reminded her of my laugh. That guy is likely a paid actor, she’s calling me a bad infomercial actor. I tell her his smile is better than mine, but I am actually worrying she's crazy because she’s going to sneak out of her house and is going to leave the front door unlocked to avoid waking her parents up, and the whole time she's thinking about my young dick being an ED miracle. And I am jealous of this guy's smile. I was looking out for her as much as she thought I wasn’t into her, but hoodrats are put off if you start caring like their parents.
She insists she wants to come over. Her text are crawling on the screen, she really wants to come over. I say 'fuck it,' like a helicopter parent giving up. My penis gets hard simultaneously as I say 'fuck it' but unlike a heli-parent. She says she’s going to drive her mom’s car, as in without her permission and I could feel her hands touching me through the screen. I responded quickly, not to knock because I don't want to wake up my parents. I walk bed sore to the restroom after lying on the bed for a few hours straight, and take one of those pisses with a satisfying bone shiver, but then I see my deformed dick and it doesn't look like a pornstars’ or my friends’ or even my dad’s. I am planets away from being in the normal looking penis club and my smile is inferior because it never shows teeth like this ED actor’s smile. There is nothing I can do about it, much less in the short drive it will take her to drive here. I feel like I am in Mercury tonight but it’s not the way you think about space, it’s more like a basement in your mom's house. I have no wisdom for a deformed penis from songs like Beautiful by Christina Aguilera, or little league life lessons, school dance date lessons to give me the courage to undress the fear off my biceps. Now I am waiting with a boner outside and with clothes on. I can still feel the healing shiver from my piss. I see her driving up like she’s not trying to wake up anyone, the spin of the Goodyear tires are missing but they sound like they have bloodclots of air.
It’s now 2:30 am in the morning actually, no one’s outside, except a few drops of acorns, and the sound of commercial vehicles. I am a little cold, barefoot and I spot the Neve Campbell glare through the windshield from a few feet away, and I know it’s her, because she forgot to turn her headlights on, and the car without the headlights on looks like it doesn't have a soul but Tiffany she’s reflecting like a sunset inside the car. I forget I am wearing sweats, I put them on that fast and ran to the cold sidewalk. She gets out of the car, she forgets to put the car in park like she thinks the car parks on its own. Third, she goes back and puts it in park; leaves the door open and I say 'Your car looks like a red head, without a soul' and she says 'What?' Then she walks up to me and she tells me the virgin words that still echo in my head once a day, like wedding vows said underwater, ‘Would you marry me?’ But the words are actually ‘Let's go to your room,’ said very clearly like two really dried water balloons hitting me in the face with rubber friction, but it’s her tits and the sound of a plane going over us sparkling in her eyes. My face is really sensitive to water-balloon rubber and it's the clearest feeling in my imgination. I say wait, 'First park your car up the driveway.' She noses it up, it scratches the driveway and it sounds like the car had its neck cracked in a very long time. In the night her mother’s car looks like it's two-different-year Bonneville' halves, put back together like an 89 front door with a 91 back door. The lighting of the street lamps creates this concave illusion like it was welded in the junkyard from the middle. And I am also observing everything like Salvador Dali, like everything will be painted with a different meaning when she lets me suck her tits or bang her. But I can't stop thinking of my dick, it is in the back of every word I say, it’s in phenomenon land and I am its broken heart till this day. My deformed dick. She wouldn't understand if she saw it. My deformed dick. she would laugh at it immaturely like I bought it. My deformed dick. She would not take it seriously, especially under this street light. Her hoodrat taste tells me she’s the worst person I could lend my biggest secret to. She’s delirious about me. But my deformed dick is Einstein and smarter than me and it doesn’t care that she’s cold hearted. I say fuck out loud, my feet are almost freezing. She says ‘what’s wrong?’ and invites me in the car. There is a little tree freshener that smells like hairy cherries and aqua net hairspray just out of the fridge, and I tell her nervously 'My dick doesn't look like a pornstars’… or my friends’… or my dad’s…' and her eyes widen, and her eyes widen more looking in the rear view mirror and she says “I am a virgin,” I think god covers his nose to the smell of our cherries in this moment. But she looks at me and asks bravely with deer eyes, “So what does it look like?” and I say “Remember the bridge where we saw our first sunset together?' 'It looks like that but they're made out of skin.' I don’t think it's the right analogy but the doctors think it is. The horizon is missing from my dick, it’s just not made out of skin.
I never saw the humor of the term skin bridges but she shoots another cupid arrow when she says 'but your penis is just an illusion,' I smiled with my teeth showing in the dark, like better than that guy’s smile when his ED was fixed.
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2019.04.01 22:47 Morbid187 Remebering the Fire Pro HD Hoax

I posted this in response to an Ask Men thread earlier in response to a thread about the worst April fool's jokes you've ever seen. Figured I should post it here too as I put a decent amount of time writing it. Mods, sorry if this breaks any rules that I'm unaware of
The worst one I've ever seen might seem dumb in comparison to the others in this thread. It was a fake video game announcement for a game called Fire Pro Wrestling HD.
If you don't know what Fire Pro is, I'm not surprised. It's a pro wrestling video game series that's been around since, I believe, the late 80's. Despite having several games in the series, it didn't leave Japan until around 2001 when it came to the Game Boy Advance. The game garnered a cult following due to being highly customizable, having a huge roster and having a really unique engine. A PS2 game called Fire Pro Wrestling Returns came out in Japan in 2004 or 2005 and finally got an American and European release in 2007.
I joined the fireproclub forums while the PS2 game was still Japanese only and you needed a modded PS2 (or a Japanese one) to play it. The Fire Pro community was amazing though, somebody made an English patch that changed all the text to English. This meant that by the time the official English version was released, most fans had already played the shit out of it and were ready for something new.
Well, along came Sonnybone. He was a user that posted a lot on the Fire Pro Club and he also made some really funny stuff in the early days of YouTube. If you're a wrestling fan you may have seen Fun With Ahmed. He was pretty well known and respected within the community. He also had started a new online videogame magazine all about wrestling games.
It was around this time that Sonnybone made a thread on Fire Pro Club stating that he was contacted by Spike, Fire Pro's developer and they wanted him to announce the upcoming game, Fire Pro HD. This was not on April Fool's Day. IIRC, this was in late March. Unfortunately the original post seems to be lost because the forum is no longer online but here is a thread about it on a different website. The first post contains all the details that Sonnybone provided during the announcement post. The joke wasn't even revealed on April 1st, he waited until April 2nd.
Sonnybone tried to say that this was his way of getting the community excited again as the series was starting to become dormant. He thought if we all got excited, Spike would see it and feel like they should make a new game. Instead, he killed the community. We all kind of suspected it may be an April fool's joke but when April 1st came and went without incident, the community pretty much accepted that it was legit before getting let down hard on April 2nd.
In 2012, a new Fire Pro game was announced for Xbox 360. Sadly, it was terrible and was Fire Pro in name only. That would be the last entry in the series until 2017 when a Fire Pro Wrestling world was released on Steam. It's now on PS4 as well. It has most of the big features that Sonnybone had promised us back then. When Fire Pro World was announced, I immediately thought of the hoax.
Also, for anybody interested, I found this post from Sonnybone on the gamefaqs message boards. This was how he responded to people discussing the hoax. Enjoy.
SonnyBone 9 years ago#83
You guys are still talking about this?
And Muka IS my alt. I fly to China every day just so I can post as him and keep the IP address LEGIT. I go to GREAT lengths to fool the internet!
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I'm sick of hearing about this. If you want to take me to court over this... call Judge Wapner and I'll get Inspector Cheng on the case and we'll make sure Jim Varney is on the jury.
OH, and I guess I need to start a lawsuit against Steve Corino for saying that he was doing motion capture work for All Star Pro Wrestling 4.
And I need to sue the guy that started the ADAM BOMB hoax for WWF The Arcade Game.
And the guys that said Sheng Long was in my cereal box.
I'm going to kill Jason Blackhart because I still haven't played Fire Pro J.
You guys are just jealous because you aren't being called LOWEST BARF MAN by guys on Japanese message boards.
I'm sick of being nice about this. You got fooled. By more than one person. Thousands of people fell for it. Now get over it and stop cluttering up an already hard to read message board.
90 percent of what I say is a big joke. Stop taking things so seriously.
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