So I've been having intermittent internet issues for about a month and consistently unusable internet for about a week.
I'll be getting my full speed down and up with low latency, then suddenly after anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour I'll start getting crazy inbound packet loss. If I'm on Discord while it's happening everyone else will sound robotic and nothing will load (or will load very slowly), but for them I sound normal. Sometimes I can get a speedtest to run and I'll have almost nothing for download but my full upload speed. The strange thing is if I restart my modem the problem will literally vanish, every time. But the issue will ALWAYS come back after some time.
I've obviously had my ISP send people out (for context, I live in an apartment with 12 units, this may be pertinent later), and they've never been able to give me a resolution to the problem or even positively isolate the issue. I had one Tech leave and call someone else in to finish the job because quote: "I'm tired of chasing ghosts in this building" (which I found hilarious more than anything). I'm assuming there's a lot going on in the networking stuff in the basement because they've been down there many times and for many hours in total trying to track down the problem.
Now fast forward to a few days ago, the last time I had someone out to look at it. This time around was different in that the tech actually seemed pretty positive on what the issue was. According to him the signal at the wall (coaxial) in my unit was clearly bad, but downstairs at the other end of that cable, the signal is good. So he was pretty certain the problem is actually the cable in the wall, which they unfortunately can't do anything with so I was referred to my landlord to resolve the issue.
Now my question is; does that sound plausible? I am by no means an expert but from what I've heard, these coaxial cables very rarely go bad and the issue usually lies in the splitters (which I assume there is a mess of down there considering the age of the building and the number units serviced). And along with that, how hard will it be for them to replace this cable? I've contacted the landlord and someone is coming to check it out in a couple days but I'm just worried they either won't replace it or that it won't even fix the issue.
Sorry if this was all over the place, I'll clarify anything needed in the comments, thanks

The story starts when I was young (17yo) I was studying at university I've been with someone we were deeply in love we broke up a lot when we were toghther but we get back together eventually we've been like this for 5 years. In The last break up I decided to move on, and I did. I met someone who's toxic i ended up the relationship. I met someone else( I will name him Liam )he was extremely good for me he was kind loving respectful I spend with him 3 years( in these 3 years my ex from university was still calling me but I didn't give him a chance )they were good 3 years I was faithful honest I've never kept anything from him he made happy I started seeing him as a blessing, At the end of the 3rd year toghther we started having fights he changed because of some problems at his work he didn't give me attention like he use to be, I spent 6 months telling him if his going to treat like this I'll leave him, he didn't listen we've been always arguing, I was telling him how hurt I was I just wanted him to treat me as he was so we can be happy again, but he didn't I was feeling sad I cried I told him what he needs to do I reminded him how he was with me so he can fix himself but he didn't, Then I did the Terrible thing I cheated on him with a guy just to feel loved feel that I'm wanted I didn't like the guy so I ended up the relationship. after that my ex from university showed up and I did talked to him I thought we are just talking there is nothing serious but eventually we got back together he asked me if I knew someone in these 3 years and I lied I didn't tell him about liam. Liam didn't know about all this because I stopped talking to him since my ex was back, I rejected Liam's calls his socials but I didn't say that it was over I ignored him. I was feeling horrible from that day untill now I didn't expect that I'm capable of cheating I didn't think of it at all, I can't sleep I can't eat well I'm a bad person I'm playing with two guys I didn't tell anyone the truth this is ripping my heart, my ex is sensing that there is something I'm hiding because I started lying to him he wants to know what's going on and I can't tell him he will hate me and he will never show up again so I told him let's have a break I need to clear my head I need to change to a better person to be with him. I haven't talked to Liam because I told him a lie that I have a family problem when the problem is solved I will call him. All I'm thinking of is letting them both go. Can anyone please help me I will appreciate it I really need an advice I started having suicidal thoughts. I can't live with myself, I really want a solution to this situation thank you in advance.

I'm a DIY psychic. I've had many dreams that came true. In one dream I literally flew out of my body and over my house and neighborhood like a bird. I saw exactly where this hidden lake was that I thought was much farther away. I was shocked to see how close it really was. When I woke up and looked at a map, the lake was exactly where I dreampt it was. I actually couldn't believe I didn't know it was there.
A lot of paranormal things were happening in my house at the time. Id hear knocking, people calling my name, someone walking in my hallway and cabinets slamming at night when I was in bed. I would dream of this stocky older lady with short red hair, a man in 50's style mechanics clothes and a little black dog that would bite my leg. In some dreams they were attacking me. In another the lady told me her name, showed me the old layout of my house, opened a back door that was no longer there, waved her arm to the outside and said "my whole family lived here." It didn't make sense her whole extended family would live in the tiny house I was in so I didn't understand what she meant. I later learned from neighbors that two brothers built the neighborhood and a whole extended family lived there.
Im not good at getting information when Im awake, but have been working on it and am getting better. I don't make decisions based on psychic impressions and don't go to other psychics. I don't announce or try to sell my abilities. I think people should be skeptical. Claiming to be psychic for money is a scam thats as old as the hills. I do think there are reputable psychics. Even good psychics make bad calls, and I had one gjve me very bad advice that had very bad consequences. I dont think people should depend on psychics and think people should work on meditating with intention of connecting spirit guides instead.
I think that unless you know you are a very accurate medium, like see clearly see dead people when awake, which some can do, you should not charge people money for your service. I also don't understand why some mediums charge $500-700 an hour claiming "God gave me a gift to help people." If you are serious about helping people, charge reasonable rates, otherwise you are only helping rich people and hurting poor ones. I dont care how famous you are. God didn't give you a gift to be greedy.
I have had a lot of experience with tarot cards and other oracles, especially the I Ching. Ive seen the same exact hexagrams happen multiple times in a row, which would be impossible according to probability, yet it happened quite often. I used the I Ching for many years before I realized that I wasn't necessarily talking to spirits of the light.
I think people should know that both good and negative spirits can speak through oracles. I don't actually believe its possible to have an accurate tarot card reading with real cards, but have had some pretty accurate readings with a tarot app on my phone. I think AI and technology has a lot of potential, but people should always make a sacred space first by surrounding themselves in white light and take oracle readings with a grain of salt. I won't pay for a tarot reading and do not think reading tarot cards is the same as having psychic ability. People should save their money and get a tarot app. People shouldn't rely on cards oracles for messages from spirit as they are highly unrealiable.
I used a pendulum to speak to the spirits living in my house. They told me there were 4 of them, the 3 I saw in dreams and a little girl. I and asked them if they would like help crossing over. Through the pendulum they told me they would. So I told them to pray to Christ to help them, and I would do the same. I prayed Christ would come and help them cross over and that was it. No more activity. Its been years. They have not come back.
Unfortunately, I invited a demon into my home with the same pendulum. Ive heard its like a beacon of light that goes out and can literally attract anything from anywhere. I was experiencing several hardships at once and like many people seeking psychics, became desperate for answers and started trying to use the pendulum to tell me what to do about them. I invited a demon into my house in the process. This ended up being a great learning experience, as all things in life. I have gotten very good at clearing my home as a result. The thing about demons is like to come back, especially if youve become aware of them and pay attention to them, and especially if you keep inviting them with oracles. A pendulum is as bad as a ouija board, which is why I wont use them anymore.
After that I kept getting harrassed by the same demon in the middle of the night. I had a roof leak in that house that I kept trying to fix on my own for years and had all this trauma and anger around a roofer who ripped me off and did more damage. I did eventually get it fixed but then one day I heard it again, the same "drip, drip, drip" in the same exact spot. I started flipping out because I just paid 10k on a brand new roof. I got up, and nothing was wet. I looked outside and there was no rain. This happened many times but usually stopped when I started looking for it. I realized it was a negative entity and the next time it happened I did white meditation and it immediately stopped. One night I was literally chasing it around the house and was dripping in different locations. I imagined white light and literally heard it squealing like a rat in distress. I was wide awake. I couldn't make this up.
I believe negative non-human entities are like a spiritual virus. They are simply negative energy that is sentient. Like viruses, some are stronger than others. But it needs attention and negative emotions to thrive, which is why you shouldn't be scared or give it attention. The visuals or sounds they can show are an attempt to get a fear response/negative energy to feed on. I think anyone can clear their own home and get rid of negative attachments the same way. Every AM and PM you take a minute to meditate that you are surrounded wit white light and pray for protection.
I clear my house like this: I do the white light meditation as mentioned above. I pray for protection and imagine a white sheet of light coming up from the foundation/basement all the way through the roof. When the white sheet of light gets to my roof, I imagine closing bringing the corners together and hand it off to Christ. I did this many times with the human entities and it worked for awhile but they would come back. I realized they were just outside and came back in when the protection wore off. I had to help them cross over for the "haunting" to stop. Demons take maintenance. Theyre like an infection that keeps coming back. You may have to meditate every night and clear your home once a month. Also know this: there is nothing in a demon to have compassion for. They are made from murderous intention and are never your friend. They also only have power over you if you let them.
If want to connect with spirit, its best to do so by opening your mind through meditation. One thing I am learning is that its not that easy for spirits of a high vibration to come down to earths vibration, so I have to take a minute to raise my vibration and protect myself. Prayer never hurts and often helps and suddenly you can find the energy to go on.
All this may sound totally crazy to skeptics, especially athiests, but if you live in a haunted house, you cant deny the existence of life beyond death. Its also a terrifying drag, especially when they won't let you sleep and give you nightmares. But it can ve a learning experience. Look at me. I could start charging to do exorcisms, but why? I just told you how. DIY your own exorcism. You don't need me. Many people have had similar experiences. This is not the first haunted home Ive lived in or my only spiritual encounters. This would be very long if I wrote them all. I have seen other spirits with my naked eye while awake. Its just very rare. Some people say they see spirits all the time and I believe them. We do live beyond these lives. Some can talk to the dead. The dead will come looking for those people because believe it or not, it sucks to be stuck on earth without a body even more than seeing a dead persons spirit.
Im saying all this with no ulterior motive. I have nothing to sell. I just ask that people have an open mind. The spirit world is incredibly fascinating. I agree that people should be skeptic of psychics. They should not spend their only paycheck on one. I think they can be great at connecting with a loved one who has passed on. But I also think the reason most of my abilities happen when Im asleep is because that is a time where spirits can reach us. I think if you see a loved one who has passed ina dream and it seems real, it is. A loved may already have visited you. If you meditate and raise your vibration, something may come through. If you believe its possible to speak to a loved one who is passed then you know you will see them again.
Life can be very hard. Sometimes we are desperate for answers. Thats when we are vulnerable and can be taken advantage of. In trying to find answers we can let something in that we don't know how to get rid of. I don't think there is really anything or anyone outside of you that knows better what to do with your life than you. Life is meant to be a mystery. We walk this earth blind, deaf and dumb about where we come from and where we return. The world can be harsh. It may seem hard to believe that beyond the physical and emotional pain of life is freedom from pain and Love. I believe many NDErs who come back with a similar message. I am suspicious of people who claim to have been given their lives back only to charge others $1000 and hour. Thats just exploitative. Dont ever pay anyone that much money! You should be suspicious of anyone who charges that much.
I think you should be your own DIY psychic. Just take everything with a grain of salt. We arent meant to know everything. The only truth is Love.

"The specific political distinction to which political actions and motives can be reduced is that between friend and enemy."
— Carl Schmitt
Politics in Nepal, especially politics for change is aimless because they can't identify a enemy to fight against or struggle against and they run around aimless with vague or useless talk about helping everyone and being friends with everyone for "unity". Or a vague word like "corruption"
Of course that's not really how change is brought.
If the current system exists in Nepal then it exists because some people benefit from it. Not because our politicians are "stupid" (If our politicians were stupid how have they held power over us for so long?)
From one problem or another, someone in the country does benefit and profit and with that profit he buys Nepali politicians
Everyone from the private school owner looting students
to the contractor looting the public
to the private hospital owners looting patients
to the only billionaire in the country
All are members and funders of our political parties. They fund the parties and they get returns on their investment in the form of a free hand to exploit and suck people's blood.
Farmers protest because Indian products are displacing their goods, they are forced to throw their products away and protest on the streets. Did it just happen randomly or are their trader capitalists who are benefitting from all this by importing?
Nepal has problems for vast majority of people. But it isn't just because the politicians are incompetent. It is because there are people in Nepal who are benefitting and earning money from all our current problems. If you think about it even unemployment is a source of revenue for those who run the manpower companies.
And then we say stupid things like displace Oli or prachanda. In 20-30 years there will be no Oli or prachanda. But unless you fight the root of the problem. The Oligarchy which profits from the suffering of Nepali people then the problems will remain same.
The man in singhadurbar is a puppet of money and finance,the real ruler's of Nepal are Chaudhary,Agrawal,Golchha etc
If you are earning a healthy profit from importing goods from India and selling Nepali youth abroad it isn't in your interests to allow Nepal to industrialise or allow Nepali farmers to live.
So we can't take all Nepalis together with us and sing happy songs for change. There is a class of Nepalis who love this system and we have to struggle against them
We can't convince them either they are obviously going to defend their loot and exploitation as it's in their interests.
Dutch revolutionary Pannekoek wrote about this and said:
"We cannot convince them, nor is this necessary. Their ideas and convictions, as well as our own, are class ideas, determined by class conditions different from ours by the difference in life conditions and in social function. We have not to convince them by reasoning, but to beat them by power"
Uniharuko benefit xa hamlai dubauna, afno interest ma gariraxan, teso bhaye hami pani afno interest ma lagnu paryo ra uniharu mathi jhamtera ghoda bata jharnuparyo

You make pretty regrettable mistakes when you're desperate. Unfortunately, desperation would go on to cost me much more than I ever thought possible.
When I was 19 years old my financial situation wasn't great. In what was left of a crumbling home would be my recovering addict twin sister, and myself. The unfortunate state of our home was all from the even more unfortunate passing of our parents just five years prior. The two hadn't died tragically by any means, thankfully. No.. our parents died of old age, a consequence of having us kids later in life, while not being able to take on the financial burden that would be.. us.
My sister was making the early steps into the college lifestyle, doing her best to stay afloat with my support in funding. Money was tight for the two of us, but as she became more well off on her own, the more content she was with severing the last remaining tie to her childhood.. me.
I didn't hate Xel for her decision, if anything I understood her distancing from this life.. even if it saddened me. So then it was just me! Left to a house with a hole in the ceiling. Believe it or not, life wasn't all to bad even with how considerably down in the dumps it otherwise seemed to be.
However, content as I might have been, it's human nature to want more than you have. Can't say I was to greedy to look for some comfortability in my own home..
And so there it was! The glistening letters of ink outlining my salvation. An advertisement I'd found plastered onto the wall of the small booth I sat at while I waited for the bus to carry me off to work. "$5,000 to those compatible for a recent scientific breakthrough." Under any 'normal' circumstances I would consider this a scam. Hell, I was skeptical as I scanned the letters. Had I been told of this opportunity through spam call or text I would've glossed right over it just as anyone else would have.. but I was desperate.
I think it was the fact that someone, some real person had to have put this paper up on this wall gave me some glimmer of hope for a quick cash grab. Listed bellow the promise of money was details for a number to call regarding interest in the proposition.
I took the bait.. I saw the line, and like some idiot I clamped my teeth down just for that hook to sweep me away.
The corporation I'd come to know as, "The Arsaction," would see me just a week later. There was a brief consultation. They took my weight, age, all things I would've expected. It wasn't until they pulled records regarding my familial situation that I began to find this whole ordeal.. suspicious.
To 'begin' to find things suspicious only at this point is foolish, something I full understand, but I feel the need to reinforce the fact that I, Lex McKarthy, was desperate.
Everything by this point seemed pretty legit. The blood tests, the doctors office, the tests were.. reasonable. What was I to suspect? Everything was so vague, and truth be told I honestly didn't even expect anything to come of this visit. All the doctors, all the consultants seemed so disinterested in my features.. but when they realized I had no one, everything seemed to change.
Suddenly ears perked, suddenly doors closed, suddenly I was.. exactly what they were looking for. Every feature of myself was so painfully average. I was anyman, I was.. nothing. Despite their best efforts to be discreate, I knew it was only the fact that nobody would come looking for me that peaked their interests.
My stomach dropped when I was faced with a pen in my hand, trembling over that NDA. Every fiber of me cursed myself for never considering putting just a minute of research into 'The Arsaction,' however a video briefing would ease my nerves. Nobody knew who The Arsaction was. There was no public record of their existence, and that NDA would make sure that they continued to never exist.
I was stupid, I was irrational, I was in over my head! But I was desperate.. and I had nothing else.
"I have nothing else.. I have nothing else!"
It was a mantra I chanted as I was injected with that substance. The substance that turned my blood orange, made my skin freakishly thin.
And then I went home.
That was it. I was given my sum of money, and I was sent home. They told me I was, "good to go," and no number of questions would get a one of them to speak. I was only met with who I'd assume to be security guiding me out of the building.
Not a word more of what I'd just been injected with, only given instructions to not dwell on mirrors for too long. That was it, just some ominous instructions. So I left, as befuddled as I arrived. Relief washed over me as I made my way home. The anxiety I'd received from such an ominous buildup was all waved by the fact that I was somehow just.. good to go?
Relief quickly turned to panic as the inherent nature of it all being too good to be true set in. I expected to die, I expected some visit from government agents, I expected anything and everything, but as months turned to years.. Nothing ever came of it. No mirror ever caused me any harm, which was its own anxiety I'd have to overcome simply because of the absurd nature or such a request.
I hoped it was.. some prank. Everything was well... for a time. Until my sister called.
I just.. watched the phone ring. My sister, someone who I hadn't spoken to in upwards of 8 years was suddenly ringing me up. When I finally had answered, her question left me speechless.
"Hey Lex. would you happen to remember Mom's recipe for that egg toast? I think I left the cookbook at your place."
I felt my ears ring. The question was so.. casual. She entirely skipped the part where we discussed how she's been, how I'm doing. She spoke to me like we'd hung out only days ago.
At the time I'd thought I was just being dramatic, but looking back on it I can only justify my own hesitation to respond.
"W-..what?"
I stammered like a fool, but I was firm in my disbelief.
"Yeah, it should be in the book on the counter?"
I looked over my shoulder to my kitchen counter, past the toaster I never bought, and over to the book she spoke of. My jaw hung heavy, the whole interaction feeling like a dream.
With one hand I held the phone, and with the other I began to skim the pages of the book letting my eyes linger on mom's cinnamon roll recipe for a bit longer than intended.
"Lex.. are you ok?"
My sister inquired on the other end. I suddenly felt sick.. falling the the ground and laying on my back. This wasn't happening. It never did.
"Lex? Are you alright!?"
My sister repeated back more urgently, followed by her assurance that she would be over soon to check on him. But.. no company ever arrived. After hours the line just dropped, and I fell asleep there on that cold, wooden floor, paralyzed with a feeling I couldn't wrap my head around.
This never happened.
I never left.
I woke up in my bed in a cold sweat. I checked the time, greeted with a humble 4:37 in the morning. What troubled me was the fact that the date had been set back 7 years.
Of course it wasn't all so clear to me. After 7 long years I'd honestly forgotten about this day. This was the day that I'd set out for my graciously provided $5,000
7 years of my fucking life.. I would chalk it all up to that.. STUFF that they injected me with.. what was it? Phantom Drive? I could call it all some terrible drug trip, some construct defined by some insane psychedelic, but if that were the case, how was I here now? BEFORE I'd ever taken the drug?
This is a dream. I convinced myself I hadn't miraculously gone back in time, that 7 years of my life weren't a lie, but if that were the case, why was my blood still that damn orangy hue?
I'm losing sleep over this itch in my brain. It's like some taste of blood in my mouth has soured out the idea that letting my eyelids squeeze shut could further obscure my definite understanding of when I stood.
A day I remember so vividly at the ripe age of 14 years old, now 12 years ago, I awoke to the sweet smell of cinnamon rolls filling the air. All was right with the world, all as I climbed from the messy sheets in my dark room. It was abundantly clear that the bulb of the light beside my bed had burnt out over the course of the night, and the closed blinds didn't aid my vision as I stumbled around my room in search of my door.
An oddity presented itself in the fashion of aimless wondering. Where was the nob? One I'd become so accustomed to.. not needing to open? I'd never closed my door. Not the previous night, not ever. Not to the behest of my mother who'd always taken annoyance to closed doors, some trait of my grandmother's to which my mom had unfortunately inherited.
Breakfast took the form of two strips of bacon, scrambled eggs, and slightly burnt French-Toast. My previous assumption of cinnamon rolls unfortunately missed the mark, however I wouldn't object to this. I wish I could convince myself that I was wrong. Something so mundane, something so insignificant to the events in this story, however the first notable instance of a curse that I couldn't pinpoint
My mother had already seen herself off to work by this point, and so I was faced with the responsibilities of seeing myself out to the bus. Some routine I'd become far too used to; The minutes passed, leaving me with nothing to do but wait by the door for a buss that would never arrive.
If the door being shut and the cinnamon rolls being a different meal entirely had left me with a minor confusion, then suddenly being seated in the passenger seat of my mother's car listening to the nonchalant complaints from my twin sister about the nuances freshmen year math shot me into a disarray I couldn't possibly quantify.
I think one of the scariest things for me is the fact that I thought nothing of it. I hadn't freaked out. No scene was made to express what should have been one of the more disturbing instances of my childhood.
I could chalk up the mistaking breakfast for something else as me just misremembering events.. But something unmistakable is the fact that somehow my mom both never drove me to school, yet the fact that she.. always had.
If you're confused, I understand. I am too, because the contradicting nature of my memory is something that haunts me to no end.
Things were easier as a child. That's often the case, but ever sense I stopped aging, I've begun to notice the oddities presented by life that are.. inexplainable. I'm not even sure where to start with researching my predicament. Hell, this is reddit! If I couldn't find an answer here, I doubt there is an answer to be found at all.
The Mandela Effect is something that I feel needs no introduction. To those who don't know, the Mandela Effect, in brief, is a phenomenon that incurs when you "misremember" something. Think of a card, now imagine you saw that card as a child and it had a single heart drawn on it's center. Now, years later you are discussing this card with someone else just for them to tell you that the heart you swear, the heart you KNOW you saw.. was a diamond. You tell them they are wrong, you shake your head, chuckle nervously.. But then they present you with the card.
Your stomach drops. This can't be the card, there is no way! Only it is the card, and when you come to the realization that it is in fact the card you'd seen as a child, you are filled with a mix of confusion, fascination, and quite possibly denial.
Most often, the Mandela Effect is associated with silly things like books titles, and board game mascots, but my experience is far beyond such things. It's the only phenomenon I've found that seems even within the realm of explaining my predicament. Problem is, the more I think, the more is wrong.
All of me wishes it all ended with that one childhood experience! But it didn't. In fact, the more I consider my childhood, the more contradictions I notice. Part of me believes I could handle this if it was limited to my childhood, but it's not. This.. experience... It effects my every day!
I'm not losing my mind, I'm just picking up crumbs that I never dropped. Not.. losing my mind, just finding more "mind" than the inventory should account for.

My dad (M47) and I (F16) have always had a decent relationship. Atleast compared to other dads, he was good. He was a good dad, or so I thought. He was always cool, never got too mad when it came to things like grades or sports. I wasn't good at either and he was fine with it. And then there was my mom who always made it feel like everything from me not being good at school or sport or not being the height I want or not being able to be good at the things I like was my fault.
Last year my perception of my parents completely changed and I don't know how to feel about them anymore. My mother has always had a rocky relationship with my dad's family. We kept our distance and things worked out. Despite all that my parents' relationship as a married couple having been married for almost 20 years was really great. Until january 29 2021. My grandpa (dad's dad) died. My father was distraught, we flew out for the funeral and being that my grandma was now alone living in a relatively unsafe neighbourhood, we had to move in with her. "We" being my mother, sister and I since my dad's job would've forced him to stay back at home for another year or so. That's when the issues began. My grandma spent no time in making my mother's life hell and soon ours as well. Mom was gone for most of the day but when she would come back she'd have to face my geandma berrating her. I'm ashamed to admit that I was of no help. I had started a new school and had become severely depressed ( not trying to justify it ). My grandma used to go to do insane things like purposely messing with the washing machine to make sure my mother had to call someone in to fix it? Or telling her daughter that my mother threw her clothes out? Throughout all this my dad tried to be the voice of reason with his family or so I thought.
Although he did not give into my grandma's lies he did not do anything to try diffuse the situation or try and make it better for my mother trying to survive in that godforsacken house. Things kept getting worse the extent of which I'm not even aware of but she would accuse my mother of stealing, my parents of trying to take over her house and it just seemed like she wanted us out of there. So we left.
Then we moved here. My dad started talking shit about my mom (something he would never do before) and at first I didn't think too much of it then they started fighting all the time. It really messed with my sister who's still very young. My mother confessed to me that he had been terrible towards her since they moved here. The worst of which included him accusing her of TRYING TO KILL HIM??? He would also constantly make jokes at her expense about her appearance. I was under the impression that he was not a bad guy that he would never do things like this but he had resented my mother since we came here. He believed that she was the reason his mother didn't talk to him anymore or that his sister didn't want to visit. The worst part is my mother had no one. She has very few friends she still talks to on a regular basis, her parents are very traditional in the sense that they do not support her in supposedly divorcing this man or even staying away from his family.
I really don't know what to do, my relationship with the both of them has changed so much over the last year and I sometimes feel guilty when my dad and I share a laugh together. He had been trying to (compete?) with my mother in this weird way for me and my sister's approval. My mother is not very understanding or kind and I just feel so guilty that I don't like her. I don't like her at all. But she's in such a difficult situation. I have been trying my hardest to be kind towards her and try and defend her from my dad and my dad has been awful he's just awful. And I hate that sometimes he's understanding and kind and a good parent all the things that my mother isn't.

A conversation with a few friends of mine some skins have certain audiences to them and certain people will pick them more than others that's just the nature of people, and sometimes these people can be fit into certain groups, and certain stereotypes which is also nature of people. So I will be talking about these stereotypes, with 4-8 champs at a time depending on how many skins they have, starting with- Not androxus- but some general skin types etc.
Let me start off by saying that stereotypes are broad, and over generalized by nature, and not everyone is the same we're not Buzz Lightyear here, at the very least these are meant for fun.

Basic Recolours

The recolours you can buy for gold often attract semi-new players those that got the champions they like and often will spend "extra" gold on recolours.
They're most likely new at the game, or at the very least their champion.
Certain recolours will be brought up again per champion if they add anything different or have a different stereotype.

System Recolours/Promotional Recolours

So these guys probably are more likely to be even newer than the basic recolours since they got them from linking accounts or following/subscribing to different social media and all that.

Mastery/Gold Skins

Assuming it's gold they're probably confident in their skill with a champion and want to display that, but with the obsidian and cosmic ones they tend to be the same as basic and promotional recolours.

Invitational/Event Recolours

Okay so we're done with recolours after this I promise but often these are old school players, often ignoring the actual quality of skins to more say that's when they were around.

Hats

Hats are kinda the same as the event/invitation recolours but they can also be found on new players who got the hat from a chest, in general if they have a proper skin they'll dump these for the skin so at the very least that leaves semi experienced players who finds the frog hat more funny than they do the cowboy cool.

Androxus

It's fair to say that Android is the poster boy of paladins and since he's relatively old he's got a lot of skins over the years and he's got quite the audience, I mean really he's the guy they show on the splash art of the game like imagine little Timmy seeing his older brother playing Androgenous "Who's the cool guy with the revolver and horns?" And his brother is like "That's my main Abolitionist" and then next game Timmy is playing Angrosist.
And they're very against nerfs every time pretending it'll kill Ambrosia and every time he's just fine maybe the fact he's got a solid baseline kit means he's not struggling when nerfs come knocking. Either way it doesn't stop the complaints.
Often Anglo (Okay the bits running thin) players take themselves seriously, whether you should depends, and depends alot. But he does inevitably attract edgelords, assholes, and blowhards.

Exalted

Exalted Andros tend to hold themselves in high regard but at the same time tend to suck, they bought this skin since it was cheap and with it are often not that great.

Imperator

So imperator is basically the same as exalted in looks but it does have the caveat that it's actually not as readily available which means someone has to make a active choice to run this, these guys are pretty much more for simplicity and class over complexity and fancy stuff, this means you'll see them play pretty good Andro where they'll stick to the stuff that works rather than flashy montage worthy stuff, they can do these but they more prefer understated competency over flashy nonsense.

Screech

This is a hat that actually has a stereotype since it's not apart of a chest it's from the deal of the day that makes a difference to who is using it. These guys are mostly raging blowhards, they think they're gods at the game but they're not as good as they believe, like antlers they say crap but not enough to get banned. This changes to just normal tryhards when they get their hands on shattermaw, almost every Andro with this skin and shattermaw are more interested in shitting on you and moving on to the next, they really only do really good in casuals without comms, but they can get work done in ranked.

Cangaceiro

Okay so this guy either uses the Shatter Maw and same deal as Screech Andro's or they run they Huntsman's gun and if you get to talk to them in a party or something they'll cry about how the pirate skins in Paladins Strike aren't ported over to paladins. It's weird and it's specific. They do tend to be nicer and less serious than Screech Andros.

Huntsman

These are the most average Andro's in existence, they certainly exist but they're not too interesting all considering. They're not bad or good, or particularly toxic or nice or anything like that, they just exist.

Steam Demon

I mean there's a Young Frankenstein joke to be made here. But Andro's running the steam demon skin tend to be uptight and expect people to carry their own weight... Of course the chance they tend to mess up they go silent, they're not rude perse but they sure do expect a lot.

Fallen

These are the guys who listened to Nightcore- Angel with a shotgun too much and will be very melodramatic, and tend to be almost always a downer for the team, they do clutch up though so something to be said.

Battlesuit Godslayer

No one really uses this skin if they have others, really this skin doesn't sell the gundam vibes the others do maybe it's because of his waistcost flowing back there but really he just looks like a guy in a robot suit

Steelforged/Dragonforged

These Andros are just as dramatic as Fallen Andros but they seem to be in on the joke and often will more be self aware, they will be playing like some viking bagpipe metal music so it's not all good with them.

Avatar

These guys probably blame their support and will unironically quots the skin, not realizing it's making fun of them. They also probably are tickled by the fact it looks likr a Xbox 360

Modded

Now often with battlepass skins their recolours are basically the same stereotype normally but for Modded these guys have basically brain rotten themselves down to the same level with their obsession with RGB lights.

Exterminate

Yeah another skin no one uses really, unless they're really interested in the cat in his backpack otherwise it's just not really a great skin since it's just a guy in a dragon ball z kai uniform without the cool ass powers and literal royalty free music.

Grave Danger

This is Kinda like omen it's not as self aware but it's hard to take this skin more seriously than default and these guys tend to be chill but it's a newer skin so it's not exactly like there's room to have a stereotype yet, which is fair but still other skins still have stereotypes that formed same day as their release.

Golden

Now it's rare that a gold skin that doesn't change something about a character shows up but this is widespread since every Andro on earth who runs this will almost always have a bloated ego, whether it's 50 or 550 these guys are super quick to be offended and will tunnel the shit out of you for just about anything.

Ash

Ash is weirdly uncommon despite being free, probably because everyone is running at point with her and she basically loses that engagement to every proper point tank, she is a offtank first and foremost after all.
As for stereotypes there is a few thing that I've noticed with Ash's (Ashes? Ashs? Ash players) First is if they're running the default voice pack even with other skins they're definitely offtanking.
And another oddity is the Ash mains that have more than one skin tend to never properly match their weapons and skins up, it's weird but every other Ash main I see runs a different weapon and skin.

Heirloom Crest

So I bring this hat up because unlike anyone else with a hat skin no one wears this, honestly it should just come with a different version of Ronin but really this is the exception to the hatskin rule, these guys are just new players who got it from a chest and felt justified in using it because they spent crystals on a chest.

Ronin

Ronin Ash players kinda just suck, it can be a matter of many different things as to why these guys struggle, they could suck at shooting people, they could be bad at positioning, trying to point tank, they're using their abilities at shit times, they could be great with all of that and still they'll have a terrible deck and talents.
These guys just suck

Xenobuster

Xenobuster Ash players tend to run into fights they shouldn't and lose, this more or less comes from the overuse of shoulder bash, otherwise they're probably running knock back spam, they're most likely to be found on TDM Throne or Abyss trying to wait around corners to throw you off. They will go spastic if you buy sentinel.

Street Style

These guys are meatheats, they're less interested in actually capturing the point and more just want teamfights, the objective and space are biproducts, as such you'll see these guys with really selfish buys, and decks, and they'll steal kills with slugshot, they're not doing it intentionally but they are rude.

Ska'Drin

Ska'Drin Ash players often properly play Ash as offtank and for the most part are good sports, it's nice enough at least when these guys are working with you, they will probably ask for someone to point tank while they do their thing.

Scorned

Another recolour with a different stereotype, these guys are also playing Ash as offtanks but their also raging assholes, and will bitch and moan from just about anything, whether it's their fault or not they'll yell at their team, though at the same time they are probably making space, and do their job well enough

Draconian Huntress

As mentioned earlier Ash mains tend to be rather rare, and the amount of people who'd go out of their way for this skin is rarer, these guys pretty much are guaranteed to be Ash mains or at the very least skin collectors. As for gameplay it's hard to say since I've seen like 4 people use this skin

Atlas

Atlas mains are pretty much obsessed with telling you they're Atlas mains it's like telling people you don't play fortnite or something. Like good on you mate, but I and I'm pretty sure most of the world don't really care. Skill ranges wildly and skins for the most part don't really change that.

Chronomancer

So uh this skin no one uses, you'll more likely find a Atlas running default with this Skin's gun, it's weird it's specific and I have no idea why it's like this... Oh yeah because Atlas looks awful without a beard.

Legionnaire

So Legionnaire Atlas is kinda a situation like Grave Danger Andro mostly because the skin again looks kind of goofy, though for the effort put into it, it's at least nice. Still these guys take themselves just as seriously as the skin does.

Corrupt/Vile

Most of these guys just suck like sure there's bound to be a good Corrupt or Vile Atlas out there but every one I've seen just sucks. It's a bloody shame since they're nice skins.

Azaan

Azaan doesn't really have too many skins to talk about but at the same time most people aren't exactly Azaan mains he's kind of a back pocket kind of champion.

Forgemaster

These guys actually main Azaan, and they're quick to get defensive on why they pick the shirtless Azaan skin

Dark Drake

I don't get how anyone understands this skin, it's so garbled and just nonsense, there's no real stereotype but I did find out that this skin has the same voice actor as Freddy Fazbear...

Barik

Again Barik mains are a rarity and, nost of the time I only really see last/bottom picks grabbing Barik and doing really nothing all game but cry about their team not carrying them.

Hi-Tek/Stonecut

If a champion has access to their pre-reworks skins and in general just older skins they're often on the cheaper side and really are just bought by newbies due to this, that's really it outside of the odd end nastolgia tripper.

Team Fortress 2

So you get this skin in a way that's similar to promotional recolours, and it's more or less exclusive to steam, it's a safe bet that a TF2 Barik is new at the game and on steam, that's it.

Swashbuckler

Pirate skins often invite people into running teams of pirates skins, outside of that Swashbuckler Bariks tend to more or less the point jockey they live on the point they die on the point.

Steel/Dragon Forged Barik

This guy listens to diggy diggy hole and probably runs some stupid deck that relies on a gimmick these guys are here for fun and will probably do something cool, maybe?

Betty

Betty is new-ish and so she only has the one skin, Betty kinda is the easy version of both Willo and Dredge without the impact of either, this means Betty attracts bad players.

Dragonette

Bowsette meme aside this is Betty's only real skin and so it's kinda broad to say anything but I assume once she gets something else it'll attract... A certain audience.
So yeah 5 champs, feel free to suggest anything for future champions I'll probably see or agree with them.

Im not sure if this is more a discussion or debate about the differences in mentality that shapes the issue of abortion. I welcome whatever opinions people have on this topic.
We teach men and women fundamentally different things about their own bodies and their personal protection.
For example, self defense.
Men are taught to fight and if two guys get in a fight then one may overpower the other or scares one off. They are taught to beat each other and inflict damage but not permanent damage to stop the other. They are also more likely to be cleared when it comes to killing in self defense.
Women are taught to fight but self defense is considered a separate type of learning, because the chances a women holds her own against a man in a regular fight according to rules isn't great. Adding a weapon may give her an advantage but can lead to her being charged with murder over self defense.
So self defense for a woman includes fighting with the intention to incapacitate or kill your attacker. You attack areas that could blind or cripple someone. You are also taught that you claw, bite, leave marks across them or get their blood on you so if you lose, they can find the person that attacked or killed you. It's better to die at the sight of the attack vs being taken to another location.
If a woman doesnt think that she can cause that level of harm without a good change of success or isn't comfortabled thinking she might kill someone, then she is told to do whatever she needs to to survive. That usually leads to, well you must have wanted it, you didn't fight back or hard enough.
Men are taught that people, police or healthcare, will listen to them, take them seriously, and help them.
Women are taught that people, police, and healthcare, won't and that what happens. Rapes aren't investigated, kits go untested, womens fear is seen as being emotional, or that health issues arent that bad she just complaining.
So bringing that over to abortion, women see another situation where they will have to go it alone. Where help is dependent on if people believe you vs need. Where help might not exist because women are suppose to give birth so it doesn't matter what they go through, theyre built to deal with that, and whatever other nonsense people believe about women and pregnancy.
We just had an entire debate about a strange man and a bear where it was made clear death isn't the part most women fear. That there are worse things than death to them. Is it a surprise then that death of the unborn is seen as a lesser evil than giving birth into abusive or other less than ideal circumstances or for cases where the child will likely die before birth/shortly after and have a life of pain?
Do you think that the differences in how we teach men and women about protecting themselves along with the way we are obviously treating each other is leading to this vast divide in beliefs?

My most recent psychosis occurred due to a number of underlying reasons that I was dealing with over a 6-8 week period and was mostly delusional.
The lead up to it - I had just finished the largest engineering project that I had been working on for two years,. My wife and I were having a very difficult and stressful time, with disagreements all the time.
My body was yelling and screaming for help and I could feel it from deep down inside me. I went to see doctors and psychologists but it didn't do it for me.. A childhood friend then passed away and that tipped me over.. All of a sudden I was placing myself in my friends place and I had all these questions that I had for myself.
I took a few days off work in the hope that it would get better, however, as I returned I just felt exhausted and overcooked. That's when I started to lose it... Note that I wasn't doing any hard drugs at the time, nor was I drinking, but in that upleading week, I was having the occasional nitrous oxide (N20) cannisters.
I went to get my tarot cards read upon returning to work (first time). The lady who conducted the card reading told me to choose the cards when "I feel the energy above the deck".. I actually felt the cards drawing my hand closer to them. I received the following cards, all of which seemed were of major importance to me: (1) Stand your Ground, (2) Hope, (3) Foundation & Achievements, (4) Base Chakra, (5) The Waiting Game, (6) Third Eye Chakra, (7) Love Begins, (8) Spiritual Union, (9) Intuition, (10) Conquer & Defeat.
..That night I went for a walk, I saw a shooting star - it was the first time that I had seen one and was so beautiful. I rushed into tell my wife about the tarot cards and the shooting star.. we both broke down in tears. Later on that evening I would tune into Youtube, and learn more about finance, investing, life, philosophy and music - all of which were major interests in my life.
The next morning I woke up and got ready to go to work. I couldn't help myself but start crying when all of my songs came on. Notorious BIG - Juicy: "Born sinner, the opposite of a winner, remember when I used to eat sardines for dinner".. I had sardines for dinner growing up too, and I could literally taste my mothers sardine dish in my mouth while the song was playing... As I raced onto the highway, it felt as though I was so connected to everything. I rolled the windows down and felt the air around me...The number plates around me "8SAMA" - which I had a feeling that there was going to be a terrorist attack occurring in the not too distant future. "FX Silver" - I was speculating with precious metals back at that time and thought it was a sign that due to the terror attack, silver was going to increase in price. "IDK IDK" - I was listening to the song I don't know by Tion Wayne, Stormzy, etc. the night before my psychosis.. Everything around me was providing me with signs and nothing was a coincidence. It felt like I was enlightened or something?
I called my brother in the morning who lived abroad, he said that he was being overworked and stressed out. He wanted to head to New York for new years eve and I immediately told him not to go as something bad was going to happen. When I went back into the office, I felt as though there would be some kind of market correction before the terror event occured, so I tried to sell all of my crypto, the only problem was, when I entered all of my key seed phrases, one of them somehow disappeared and I could no longer access my crypto wallet. That was when everything cracked further.. I thought the government was onto me as I had put all the pieces of the puzzle together and started to warn people around me.
I grabbed my manager from the office and told him I needed to speak to them. I wanted to come clean with everything that had happened. During this time I felt at peace and in this blissful place. I was seeing visual signs of things from my past which were interacting with my present moment .. it felt like everything around me was staged. I came clean to the manager and told them that I had been struggling at work, and using drugs and alcohol to cope, I said that it also put so much strain on my relationship and my wife was going to leave me. At this time it felt like the police had wire tapped my manager and everything I was saying was going on record. I was trying to outsmart him with every question that they had for me and it was like I was playing 4d chess in my head. We spent close to 2.5 hours talking about my situation -at every stage I was waiting for when the popo were going to pop out and arrest me.
My wife had been contacted and came to pick me up. She took me back home, but while I went home I thought that our house had been bugged and wired. To me our neighbours were acting odd, and so many things were working in my head, I just didn't know how to relax and calm down. The next day I was taken to my parents place, and I initially started by doing a little bit of exercise, I still felt as though the police were after me and I had something to prove to the world. I then had a panic attack, where I legitimately felt as though I couldn't breathe, my wife and family rushed me to the emergency department at the hospital, and I was met with a psychiatrist who put me on a large dose of antipsychotic medication. Don't know where I'd be without my wife to support me through everything.
I then came back and rested. Slowly but surely I started to realise that I had just experienced a psychotic episode that lasted for several days. Following this event, I had a major depressive episode, which took months for me to recover, and approximately one year later I am in a better place mentally, but I am still not 100 %.
It turns out I have a family history of this sort of bullshit that nobody told me about, and being exposed to drugs and alcohol would only increase the risk of any symptoms. I've been off all the drugs and attempting to stop alcohol, and live a more holistic, natural life. Let's see what happens. For anyone dealing newly dealing with it or in the process of recovering, it gets better. Keep your head up.
<3

I took the Behind The Wheel test today at San Jose DMV and I think it’d be a good idea to share my experience step by step for those who’s still concerned about the test.
I arrived at the DMV around 20 minutes earlier than my appointment. It was around 3pm, but my local DMV got packed with people, I couldn’t find a parking spot so I had to spend like 15 minutes or so driving in circles to find a spot. It was chaotic. An advice I would definitely give to someone who’s going to the test soon is to park somewhere near DMV (a park or a shop) and walk there to get your paper done then walk back to get the car if you know your DMV is busy. It wouldn’t take much effort to do so and you wouldn’t have to be stressed out before the test worrying about parking lots.
At the receptionist I was asked to confirm my appointment (by name and/or phone number only, my DMV didn’t provide me with a confirmation code so I just showed up and told them my name). Then you will hand them your paper (in my case it was driver’s permit, the yellow slip and that was it). I brought my ID too just in case, but they didn’t ask for that. They would hand you your papers back with a grading paper for your examiner to grade all in a packet. I was instructed to place that packet on my dashboard and drive to the driveway where I’d meet up with my examiner.
After doing as instructed, I pulled up to the drive way and meet my examiner. The examiner was kind, he first asked for my name and my date of birth. Then after the passenger (who drive me to the DMV) leave the car, I was asked basic questions on how to run the car: the horn first, then signal control, windshield control, emergency light, emergency brake, defrost, hand signals. After that, I was told to turn on the car (IMPORTANT: NOT THE ENGINE) to check if my signal lights both in the front and the back were working properly. Then the examiner went into the passenger seat and the drive test began.
It was easier than I expected. I was told to drive out of DMV and enter the neighborhood first. The first part of the route was full of stop signs (it’s really important to check if it was 4 stop signs or 2 stop signs), I came to a complete stop and count 1,2 seconds before continue driving. Please act like you always check the surroundings! Every time the examiner gave out an instruction, I always responded: “Okay”, “Uhm hm”, “Got it”, etc. I don’t really know if it would help but it’s nice to communicate and let the examiner knows that you heard them right, it’s also less awkward because the atmosphere inside the car is real SILENCED if you ask. The rest of the route was downtown streets, my town’s downtown streets is pretty narrow and has a couple of one-way streets so I made sure to not speed up too fast and always look in the right direction of traffic when crossing or turning. I had to change lanes for 3 or 4 times, remember CHECKING MIRRORS AND BLIND SPOTS, SIGNALING, SPEEDING UP TO PASS, TURNING OFF SINGAL. I forgot to turn off my signal after changing, it was not a big mistake but it would be nice to avoid that. My test didn’t have the pull over and back up part, I guess it was because my test was right at rush hours and it was hard to find a spot that was good enough for back up. After around 15 minutes or so of driving (I really didn’t notice how long it took since I was too focused on how to drive right), we came back to DMV and I was told to park in any reserved spot. The examiner immediately told me I passed the test or not. I did pass and he also gave some recommendations on improving the driving skills.
Then I bring the papers that he gave back to me to the receptionist or whatever we’d call it (the same spot where I confirmed my appointment). At this point, if you’re really dissatisfied with your mug shot on the permit like I did, you can ask to retake the picture. Keep in mind that they would bring their manager over to talk to you. They would ask for a reason, so if you decide to do this prepare a good reason beforehand. I chose to say my appearance changed a lot (it was my falsies lashes to be honest) and I couldn’t recognize myself so I wanted a new pic. The manger was nice enough to say yes to my request and I was sent to the line for picture. This part took a LONG time, longer the my actual drive test. After forever, I went to see the receptionist once again and they gave me my Interim license, which was only a printed paper with your license ID on it if you ask me. And I didn’t have to pay for anything, which was a surprise cause I expected to pay. After all that, I was good to go.
I know this is getting so long but to sum it up, I think I would give some advices: 1. Arrive early and park elsewhere if DMV is busy. 2. Be nice to the examiner, DO NOT talk a lot to them, DO be responsive and respectful. 3. Prepare a reason if you want to retake the mug shot.
Note: You can use your interim license to purchase insurance or something like that, I did ask the receptionist so this is real.
In the end, just be confident and drive like you know what’s going on. Ima be real, if someone ever tell you the test is really hard, don’t trust them: DMV wants you to pass and they are not going to test what’s outside of the norm. I hope this is helpful and also I wish you a successful drive test!!!!!!!

Tl;dr at the end of post if you want.
I (18F) have been friends with this guy (19M) for like, 5 years and I'm so in love with him.
He's an amazing guy. Cute, responsible, funny, caring guy like all the green flags. We've never had any problems with our friendship, never argued, we tell each other everything and I mean everything like he is my best friend and I am his. I just keep falling for him over and over again, and I have no idea why because I have never felt like this for anyone.
l've had a couple relationships and one serious relationship where I dated the guy for a couple years however I broke up with him on good terms a month or so ago. I had lost feelings and I realized that he treated me like shit. Since leaving that toxic mess of a relationship l've realized just how amazing my guy friend treats me and how he makes me feel when I'm around him. I love taking to him so much it makes my day better every single time. He's too perfect to describe.
The catch? He has a girlfriend (17F) at the moment, and I'm happy for him like I really am. He talks a lot about how he wants to marry her and have kids and all. But oh my God, it hurts so bad.
He always tells me I'm the only one he can be vulnerable to and be himself with, he's complimented me a lot, and he's always willing to stay up to talk to me and take care of me if I'm drunk like will hold my hair and get me blankets and just sit with me if I need. Ive noticed that if he's drinking he sometimes gets closer to me than normal and compliments me more often and idk if im just imagining it but sometimes I feel like he might feel the same way as I do but I don't know. I just don't get it, I got so much mixed signals from this guy.
He's been dating this amazing girl for 2 1/2 years and I really love her and he has told me how he plans to propose to her. Maybe it is my fault for taking his casual platonic compliments the wrong way. Maybe it's not, maybe it is. But can you blame me for falling for him? He's so kind and caring. I love his smile and how he laughs, how he talks about things he likes. Am I just his therapist or something? Is he just mine? He always vents to me whenever he needs and i love just talking to him and helping him and I just keep on wondering, why not me?
We're so similar and we have the same interests and our personalities are just perfect together like we are quite literally Pb and J. He always says we're the same and that's why he loves me. Yes he loves me we've been friends for a long time for many years neither of us were in a relationship and we love each other (as friends. At least on one level).
I mean i just can't imagine being with anyone other than him. I don't get it. We've been through so much together and helped each other through some rough times. I love him so, so much. I never want to lose him. I just have really started to develop more feelings lately like he's all i think about. I'm happy he's happy, like do not get me wrong his happiness is the only thing i care about but I can't help from getting a little hurt from seeing him talk about how great his girlfriend is. He's just so perfect and caring and l love him so much he makes me feel so special.
The other day he played with my hair a bit while we were watching a movie and I asked him if i should cut it and he told me that i would look pretty if i cut it a bit but he also said he liked my hair long too and hearing him call me pretty just melted me i mean like I have never felt this way and I don't know what to do.
Funny thing is? The things he say about his girlfriend were exactly the things l've said about him. I wish I was her. But alas, perhaps life has its own plans for me. For now all I can do is watch him fall in love with someone else.
So yeah... I am in love with my best friend who has a gf of 2 years and I think he might maybe has some feelings for me aswell. But I'm really unsure. I however, am in fact 100% in love with this guy. What would you do if you were me? Please don't go into the comments saying I'm a bad person cause he has a gf. Please ik and I feel HORRIBLE every time I think about it. I just can't help it I am so in love. Has this happened to anyone else? What did you do? I'm really lost rn because he's the person I would normally talk to about stuff like this but obviously I can't.
Tl;dr. I am in love with my best friend of 5 years who has a gf of 2 years and I think he might maybe has some feelings for me aswell. He has shown some attraction to me before. But I'm really unsure. I however, am in fact 100% in love with this guy. What would you do if you were me?

TRIGGER WARNING: MENTION OF ABUSE, CHILD S*XUAL ABUSE, S*ICIDE
tl;dr: I'm trying to figure out if my husband could be a narcissist, or emotionally immature, or some mashup of both. Could someone explain this to me like I'm five?
(If this isn’t the right group, please point me in the right direction)
I tried my best to condense, but it’s a really long one. I’m sorry.
A breakdown of the pertinent info:

Me: F, mid-fifties, just returned to PT work outside of home Husband: M, mid-fifties, always worked a regular job, main wage earner Married: 30+ years w/adult kids (no longer at home)

For a while, I've thought my husband has definitely shown signs of narcissistic behavior. I won't list everything, but a few things are that he is definitely argumentative (over seemingly insignificant issues), jealous, needy for my attention and flies off the handle if he feels ignored, his only "love language" seems to be sex (and any lack of it means I don't love him), he loves the silent treatment which is always followed by a huge blowup and then love-bombing, he always one-ups me (he works harder, he feels worse, he is more tired, etc). There's more, but I'm trying to keep this short. I will say that he has never physically hurt me, but he has spent a lot of energy being emotionally abusive.
I would say that is his main thing; constantly saying how much I don't love him and how much I don't care about him if he feels the least little bit ignored or has to spend any time alone. My going back to work at a PT job has just turned that fire into an inferno because I've gone from a SAHM/SAHW to working PT, and sometimes just by necessity he is by himself (I want to say that, in the thirty years he has worked his job, I have been by myself more times than I can count because he has worked scheduled/unscheduled/spur-of-the-moment overtime, and I just rolled with it because, really, what other choice was there? Unemployment for the main breadwinner?). He absolutely cannot handle being alone, while I find being alone refreshing and rejuvenating. In fact, I'm the opposite; I'm like, "Do you love me? Then go away and leave me alone for a while!"
But here's where I have been doing some thinking. I know that many of you are going to say that there is no way, but I do believe he loves me. I've seen the man behind all that. And I do love him, despite all of the problems and issues, and I believe as much as he understands it, he loves me too. I am determined to work on this marriage. It occurred to me the other day, when he was mad and throwing a fit about something; I thought; "He's acting like a toddler who needs a snack and a nap." And so my mind started wandering along those lines for a bit.
You see, my husband has had a hard life. Both of us grew up in dysfunctional families with abusive parents. His father was definitely a narcissist, and physically abusive to his wife and at least to my husband (the GC sibling seems to have escaped most of it) and I've heard was sexually abusive to family members as well. He put his wife in the hospital more than once because of severe beatings. He threatened to drive off a bridge with the whole family in the car. He threatened all of them with a gun and a family friend had to come over and save them. He regularly beat my husband for the crime of not eating his vegetables at dinner. When my husband was 22, and I was pregnant, his father tried to hit him over the head with a huge wrench. (My husband is a strong man; that was a dumb idea.) There’s apparently a lot more my husband won’t talk about and/or doesn't remember.
But his mother wasn't an angel, either (let's be clear, SHE DID NOT DESERVE SPOUSAL ABUSE OF ANY KIND. NO PERSON DESERVES ABUSE. However, you can not deserve abuse and, at the same time, not be a nice person). She believed the world revolved around her, she was never wrong and the smartest person in the room, and my husband was expected to be at her beck and call whenever she wanted him for whatever reason. She abused him in her own way. Hurting people hurt people. When I came along, he was nineteen, and I treated him like an adult; that went over like a lead balloon because she treated him like a child.
Shortly after we got married and had our first child, she purposefully ceased to live, which threw my husband into a deep, deep depression for a few years. It was rough. I tried to get him to go to therapy, but he flat refused. We worked through it and eventually had another child, and he can finally talk about it now, thirty-some years later. But he rarely visits her grave, and I’ve never forced him to go if he doesn’t want to.
At very significant points in his emotional development, my husband had some major life crises happen:

He had to retake first grade because his mother was put in the hospital by his father's abuse; he shut down to the point he wouldn't do his homework and had to be held back (which is hard enough); he would have been around 7 years old He spent his childhood dealing with an abusive father and wondering if he was going to literally not be alive His parents finally divorced when he was around 14 years old After that, he and his mother and sibling were constantly financially insecure His mother purposefully ceased to live when he was twenty-three, after we had just had our first child He has told me that he doesn’t remember large chunks of his childhood (which I understand is a trauma response)

As he was being 'constructed', there was built a severely flawed frame structure around these emotionally damaged areas; the ability in his ‘frame’ to withstand a structural state of stress is severely defective. He never really learned how to regulate his emotions, how to work through them or deal with them in a healthy way. His mother never got him therapy for the abuse he had endured since birth; if anything, she compounded it (that’s a whole post in itself because, wait for it, she was a counselor). The only relationship he had modeled on a consistent basis was a dysfunctional, abusive, unhealthy one. (He did have maternal grandparents who were loving and kind, but they couldn't be there 24/7.) His aunts and uncles were all also in dysfunctional marriages/divorces, so no help or escape there. As a result, he has nothing to draw from when he feels stress, irritation, anger, sadness, irritation, loneliness; he struggles to even identify the differences between all of those emotions. He is extremely simplistic in his thought processes when it comes to emotions: He feels good/bad, energetic/tired, loved/unloved, happy/sad, full/starving; sometimes he’s capable of mildly annoyed if he's in a really good mood, but mostly his emotions are one extreme or the other (they do not change wildly; he picks one and usually sticks with it for a while).
If he feels stressed in one area of his life, then EVERY area of his life, in his mind, sucks. Very black/white. No grey at all. I’m not sure he knows grey exists. He thinks life should ALWAYS be a happy feeling, and if there is any bad/sad/stress/negative emotion, then that ruins it all and he can only concentrate on that, like a pebble in his shoe.
It’s like if someone gave each of us an oatmeal raisin cookie (mine has my allergens/intolerances removed):
Neither of us are big fans of raisins, but we both like oatmeal cookies. I will just eat around the raisins, or I will pick them out. If that is impossible, I’ll just eat the raisins, even though they aren’t my favorites, because I like oatmeal cookies and I try to look at the positive. “A minute ago I didn’t have a cookie, but now I do have a cookie, even though it has raisins that I don’t like, so life is pretty okay at this moment.” (I try to find something positive, even if it’s just a little thing, and focus on that.)
He will spend his time bitching that his cookie has raisins. He doesn’t like raisins. Don’t they know he doesn’t like raisins? How is he supposed to eat this cookie with raisins? And if I point out that he can make the best of it and just try to pick out the raisins, then he gets all upset. “But I should have got a cookie with no raisins. I shouldn’t have to pick out the raisins. Even if I pick them out, I can still taste them. Life sucks all the time.” (He finds something negative in everything, even if it’s a little thing, and builds it up to overshadow all the good things.)
So, I’m thinking that he has probably inherited some narcissistic tendencies from his father (and some not-so-pleasant stuff from his mother as well), and then he’s added emotional trauma to this, which makes me think emotional immaturity has been stirred into this particular pie (or cookie, if you will). Could this be so?
Here’s a very recent case in point. He works nights. I mostly work days, but my job is such that I sometimes need to be ‘on-call’, and so occasionally I need to go in at weird hours/times. It’s a great job and I love it, and it’s a perfect fit for me and my skill-set, but he’s having a hard time adjusting to me not always being around like I have been for most of our marriage. (Remember, to him not being around=not loving him.) He feels like he’s not the center of attention any more, even though I’ve tried to make up for it.
Due to circumstances beyond our control, we are temporarily sharing a car. We're making the best of it, but it’s a hassle and we are both tired of it (using public transportation is not an option in our rural area and neither of us have coworkers who live close to us). His shifts can be 8-12 hours, depending. Well, on certain days of the month, he works mandatory 12-hour shifts. They are always on specific days. I made work plans based on that schedule, which never changes. But yep, you guessed it…this past Saturday, it changed. He told me that I didn’t need to take him to work that night since he was only working 8 hours, and I was all, “What? No, I really need the car because I already told my boss I would work tonight because I know you always work 12 hours on this day.”
Just how I was supposed to know the schedule changed, I’m not sure, but he completely lost the plot. He started yelling at me while we were still home and it didn’t stop until I dropped him off at work an hour later. I just shut down. He covered every subject; I didn’t love him, I didn’t care about his feelings, nobody EVER cares about his feelings, I always leave him alone, I never have sex with him so that PROVES I don’t love him (I have sat him down and told him, repeatedly, about some physical issues I am having at the moment that really don’t make sex much fun for me which I am under a doctor’s care for, and I have reassured him that I love him very much and I want to have sex with him but I need to get these physical things under control; to his credit, he has never forced me to have sex), I work too much, I shouldn’t have taken the stupid job anyway (he is the one who told me I should probably get a PT job), I don’t get paid enough (I make the going rate for what I do), I don’t clean the house enough, the dishes need washed, I don’t feed him properly, I’ll probably spend all day Sunday running errands for my mother (who is eighty, a manipulative narcissist herself, has health issues, I’m an only child, I have had to step up and help her) and not be home with him, and why am I so upset, what am I starting to cry about now???
Then Sunday, Mother’s Day, he must have felt guilty because he helped me carry in groceries and was nice to me all day. Not in a love-bombing way, not over-the-top or weird, just nice. He’s been nice to me today as well. He did mention in passing that on these scheduled 12-hour shifts that the crew on the other shift always leaves extra work for him to do, and then denies it, and he knows he’s going in to a mess and a ton of extra work (he has a hard, physically demanding job), so that puts him in a bad mood. I don’t know if that was his round-about way of apologizing or what. Yes, he probably was stressed out about going in to a mess at work, and my taking the car didn’t help, and he didn’t handle the stress/anger in a healthy way (to put it mildly). We both could have communicated better about work schedules, but I was just basing my decision to work on his never-changing schedule. It was frustrating, but it wasn’t the end of the world, and it all worked out. His reaction was totally out of proportion to the event.
So is that narcissistic behavior or immature behavior? It’s like he gets mad, he blows up, he comes to himself, he apologizes/acts sorry, loves on me, treats me good, sloooowly builds up anger again, gets silent silenter silentest…blows up again and the whole thing starts over. Why is this still happening? Shouldn’t we be past this by now? It’s hard to explain, and I know some of you won’t understand (and nor should you, based on what you have been through, which is truly horrific, and I am so sorry), but it’s like he comes to himself and realizes how he is acting, but later the hurt and anger take over again. And the cyclic pattern in his life continues.
Anyway, I have been thinking a lot about whether he might be more emotionally immature than narcissistic, or more narcissistic than emotionally immature, or some combo of both, and what I could do to help him and strategies to deal with it myself. NGL, it is really taking a toll on me emotionally. I feel like I have been run through the wringer every day. Some days I cry and cry (when I’m alone, never when he is here, he gets mad when I cry because he can’t handle negative emotions and he would never acknowledge he caused the negative emotion), some days I just shut down and sleep for 12 hours. I have a couple of mental health apps on my phone that I use.
We are at a time in our marriage when I feel like we should be enjoying ourselves (our adult children have moved out and we are a little more financially stable than we were the last time we had no kids at home), but it feels like everything is just falling apart. I feel like we shouldn’t be arguing about this same stuff after thirty-plus years, but here we are, still arguing about whether I love him or not.
Thank you for reading my long and boring post. Just typing it all out helped.

Hey all hope you're having a great day :)
So like most people i'm missing that special person in my life and it would be really nice to find someone that i can relate to, be 100% honest and open with and generally find my best friend.
Hopefully this would start out as friendship and if we click then we click, open to anyone from anywhere :)
Some stuff about me/hobbies
Video games, this is my biggest hobby by far, i play have an pretty big library of games i play so if you game, there is a high chance we would share stuff we could play, a few games i play often, League(i question it too don't worry) soulsbourne games (unga bunga builds) fallout's, i mainly play pc but have a switch and ps4 too.
TV/Film, if not doing the above, you can find me binge watching shows or films, such as B99, the office HIMYM, GoT (we can discuss how shit the last season was forever), Star Wars, Marvel stuff, SAW.
Animals, i have 2 dogs (yes i'll show you lots of pictures) and in general i love animals so much, so i'll probably spam you with pictures of random animals i think are cute or funny :)
Music, i listen to a wide variety of stuff, from rock and metal to dance/pop some electro swing, rap and other stuff, in general if i like a song i'll listen to it on repeat till i hate it but still listen to it anyway.
I try and be witty and funny most the time, I have a stupid sense of humour but will try and make you laugh most of the time, I can be shy to start with but i open up pretty quickly when i get comfortable with you :)
Don't be shy and hit me up if you think we would get on :)

Based on your experiences and wisdom internet strangers, how should I approach this because I have feelings for her? Should I tell her, or back off?
TL;DR is that I think I might be getting hints and clues that this girl I know may have feelings for me, but graduation is in a few weeks, and the parting of ways is inevitable.
There is this girl who I have recently, in the past year and a half or so, gotten to know well. I live in a town across the valley from hers, and we are both 18, being seniors in separate high schools. We have been texting each other for what almost felt like daily or multiple times a week well since the beginning of the summer before our senior year, and have not lost any momentum. I don’t always initiate conversation, as she likes to spark conversations through texting, whether it’s the most recent adventure, anecdote, or cake she baked, I’m not talking to a wall. We also talk in person whenever we can. When we see each other at weekly church meetings, she always tries to sit next to me, or does so when she can, and since I tried out track this year, each meet our schools are both at, we both without asking each other, watch each others events and cheer each other on, and we talk just about anything and everything. I think her parents and family like me pretty well, and I have a good relationship with them, and my family adores her. The problem is where I think I stand with her.
That problem is exemplified by the fact that our graduations our quickly creeping up on us, and we’re going to be parting ways as I’m moving to a bordering state in the middle of the summer, and not too long after will be serving a 2 year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints all the way down in Mexico in late August. However, I’d be surprised to be “Dear John’d” as she is also going to serve a mission for our church before going to university, and is waiting to have her finished papers submitted. The timing would be perfect, as by the time she gets done with her mission, I’d be back home from mine oddly enough. We are also thinking about different universities which we both got accepted to, for me, USU and BYU Provo, for her BYU-I. The nice thing about the mission is that it’s like a 2 year gap-year, so if anything were to happen and be set into motion, we could try to go to the same school after. But I’m wondering if the fact that we are thinking about different schools and that I’m moving will make her fret if she does feel anything for me.
Some final preface is that we’ve been to homecoming together our junior year and that’s when our relationship kind of started. I also asked her to my senior prom in a fun, personal way for her, and she wasn’t weird about it, and was genuinely excited for it, saying yes, and that she was suspecting that I would ask her. We had a great time together and with the group we were with. When we took pictures with everyone, the photographer who was a mom asked our group to walk towards her for some cool shots, and for the couples to hold hands while doing so. Me being unsure and shy, didn’t grab her hand, but she sure grabbed mine and totally locked fingers with me (Mormon first base lol). At the dance, we slow danced to every song we could, when she wanted to, and I tried my best to match her energy the whole time (as a person who can’t dance, and is kind of introverted in stark comparison to her extroverted extreme nature). I later learned from my mom from her mom that she noticed and made mention of that, how I matched her energy intentionally. Afterwards, when it was time to go home and drop her off, I walked her to the door and she gave me what I can only describe in my mind as an intimate hug, which has happened between us before as well.
I’m leaning on the edge of her liking me back (rare glass half full view for me personally) because of a bunch of specific instances that blur the line of friendship between us, making it feel like we are more than just friends, and I’ll share a few key ones: (Sorry for making it look like a police report, that’s just the way my mind operates)
Exhibit A: On prom, I told her about the fact that I was moving in the middle of the summer because I needed to tell her in person, and it needed to come from me (weird time to tell someone that), but if I didn’t, she would’ve found out otherwise through town and church gossip. I was met with an immediate sad response, but that was quickly washed away and we had fun at the dance. What’s interesting is what she texted me after the fact: “What if we never see each other again…Sorry this is just crazy I'm going crazy I hate change and not sleeping so guna go to bed before this becomes a what if I die moments.”
Exhibit B: There are instances where I think she is trying to flirt with me, one of them being a response to me saying that I’m going to be somewhere where she thinks she’s going. The response in question was “I’m going now for sure [winky emoji, laughing emoji]”
Exhibit C: I have received 3 hugs from her that have stuck with me, and we’re all pretty intimate. Once after I gave her a meaningful gift after one of her favorite livestock she was taking care of died, which was pure luck and chance as I got a hat for her with a gag signature from my uncle called “the pig whisperer” which I was planning to give to her not as a cheering up gift, because I didn’t know her animal died. And once after I got my mission call, and once after dropping her off back at her house after Prom as mentioned before.
I don’t want to ruin our relationship because I value her a lot as a friend, but I think I’m seeing something more, and I don’t want to regret not doing anything.
Sorry for the long story, just looking for experienced insights. I don’t want to be “…falling in love as she’s walking away,” haha. Thank you for reading through my plight, and for those of you who respond.

I met someone online. He was feeling something that I found strange in myself and that I thought only I felt. It was like a miracle that I met him. He was so special for me. And we were seems like attracted each other. But I messed everything up. Over time he started texting me less and less. He's not interested in me anymore. Because I saw him online on another platform.
But I'm still obsessed with him. I can't get him out of my mind and I still hope that one day he will text me again. The only way to get rid of him is to realize that he's not what I think. I want to get him out of my mind. I don't want to be obsessed with someone but I don't know what to do. I've been dealing with this for almost 2 months.
I don't want to wait for messages, dont want to dream about him and me, I dont wanna remember him in every song, to think about him in every romantic thing. Its exausting.

Is it possible to frost the back of one-way window film (or layer with frosted privacy film) to get the best of both worlds? Apologies if this is a stupid question, and in advance for making the word "film" sound like it's not even a word anymore by the time this is over. For context, I currently have frosted privacy film on the west-facing window of my work-from-home office. My workdays are 10-12 hours long, and my job requires as much light and privacy as possible. The frosted film allows plenty daylight and it's still private, even at night with my lamps and whatnot turned on. But come summertime, that afternoon sun turns my workspace into a crock pot, even with A/C and good insulation. Someone recommended I get one-way heat reduction film instead. Thing is, once the sun goes down I know my privacy will go with it (because physics) and I don't want to blind my poor neighbors with outdoor spotlights beaming off my window at night. My idea was to remove what I've got, apply the one-way film for the heat issue, and then apply either frosted film (using heat-safe adhesive) or frosting spray to the back of the one-way film. All the info I've found so far was about using one or the other, not both. Blinds and curtains pose a safety issue in my current living situation, trying to avoid those if possible. I don't care about being able to see out, just want to get some light during the daytime and privacy at nighttime without living in Dante's Inferno. Has anyone done this before? Thoughts?

Hi, I’ve recently started looking at houses for sale in my area and the prices are through the roof 200-300k ! So then I’ve started thinking about maybe getting a derelict house or maybe consider getting a site and building ? I was wondering if someone could advise as to what would financially be the best way to do in the long run, I’d like to avoid getting a 30 year mortgage at over 5% interest if possible and I’m in no panic to move. I know that there is a 70k derelict house grant and various energy improvements grants. Ideally would want to keep the costs of everything below 200k, 2/3 bed house/bungalow is that doable tho ?
Are building materials still as expensive as they were during Covid ? Will these grants go away? Anyone in a similar situation ?

How y’all arguing about “heard Dave free might be the father” and saying stuff like “he said he heard it and doesn’t know for a fact”, but when Kendrick did the same thing. “I heard you like them young.” Both sides are arguing over the smallest words and being so hypocritical 😂 I’m just picturing this as a face to face diss/battle. Who tf is proving anything in a battle? if someone said “yo momma fat” you aren’t going to say “no she isn’t” as a rebuttal, you say something worse. Tf. I think that’s where Drake fumbled, he acknowledged the accusations then mocked Kendrick for possibly being molested in the sameee song... The Mariah Carey comment was not it.. He could have posted outside of a song saying “that’s wild I would never” and even donate to some sort of organization to speak against child trafficking or something.
IF there is any minors involved you can’t just name drop a victim(s.) I hope it’s not true. I hope all accusations aren’t true..
The whole mole thing is stupid too. Drake easily could have had suspicions about a mole/leak and made up a story about a daughter. “Could have gave a name or destination” Feeding the story to 1 or more ppl but Drake didn’t know who the actual mole was. so putting that info out there he is finding who the “clown/mole” and ALSO giving false information to the oops. That’s some high school shit tbh…
Also I haven’t heard anyone discuss the 2 times Kendrick says something like “hide your little sister.” Idk it just stuck out to me, has anyone brought their sisters around him that doesn’t anymore? Also the “protect the family” to everyone also made me 🤔🤔
It does seem like rumors have gone around the circle of people that hang with Drake.. “heard this and that” take it however you want type thing… they both are talking tbh. The street always whispers... We can ask why isn’t Drake saying who told him/posting proof or why isn’t Kendrick isn’t telling who/posting proof.. sounds like a lot of pillow talking or playing the telephone game. He said she said they said who said…
Remember you don’t know who someone is 24/7. I hope Kendrick hasn’t had any domestics or domestics, I hope Drake isn’t a pedo. But do I or you know FOR SURE they aren’t or haven’t? No. Unfortunately both situations are very common in the US so you never know.. hopefully the truth comes out.
I am biased in the sense of never liking Drake, even back in the day. I just always thought he was annoying and looked like Will Smith’s fish from Fishtales 😂 I only know the most popular songs from both Drake and Kendrick.

I have OCD for a long time about user accounts, password accounts and security. But recently I have this fear of checking my banking app constantly in case I DID NOT do something stupid like transfer money sonewhere, buy some useless crap or I don't know share some card number to random people. Few days ago I had such a big fear that I just opened app, copied and shared to someone all may cards infos that I got my card cancelled. On the next day I was just completely broken because the cycle started once again and I am afraid I did this to a new card issued (number is in the app). I hate myseld for doing it, and I know I am very causious, sane and sober and I would not do such thing but it's so hard for me to get over it Do you experience sth similar sometimes??

I don't know if this is the right place for this but I really need to vent, I know I'm gay, I've known for well over five plus years now it's nothing new. Yet, I've never been in a relationship, I've never kissed anyone never had sex, I can't even get another girl to talk to me for more then 5 minutes, it's lowered my self worth so much, and I've tried for so long to not let it bother me and for awhile it didn't I focused on me, my animals and work but it's getting to the point where I'm nit-picking every bit about myself. My eyes my hair my voice my teeth, the way my body is shaped that I'm just tired, I want a wife I want a beautiful family with animals and adventures, camping trips and swimming, hiking going to festivals. But I've been ignored let down and used for experimentation so much that I just wish I was straight, wish I could be with a man that gives atleast a ounce of a fuck enough to give me a tiny bit of attention or atleast if im gonna be used ill know that hes noy just wanting me to "see if he likes girls" or to "test the waters" I don't know.. I just wish someone would give a fuck, I've lost all my friends. My family. I'm alone basically everyday and I just want something real for once, anyone I've had interest in basically laughs in my face whenever I said to them I liked them so yk.. 🤷‍♀️ idk I don't see a point in trying anymore, I always have been and always will be the girl people use to feel good abt themselves after being depressed so they gain that confidence back to date someone else 😊👍

I’ve been lying to my mom for years.
So I (F18) have been lying to my mom for years…now I don’t know what to do about it. over a year ago I got into a breakup with my gf of 1 and half years. Anyway this isn’t a rant about that but yes I was heartbroken and still kind of healing…but it’s more about my mom…my mom has always suspected I’m gay, she claims I’m not girly enough (I am not masc imo but yeah I don’t make a lot of “extra” effort to be feminine either).ive never had a boyfriend and I’ve never kissed a guy…and as I get older my mom is now constantly asking me if I’m gay. Mind you she is older and religious, and she despite not “hating” gay people isn’t accepting of it and can be quite homophobic, she’s called me a dyke multiple times and my best friend (M18) a fag before behind his back. She doesn’t know anything about my relationship and I hid my heartbreak from her after…anyway I feel bad for lying to her about my sexuality since she constantly asks me if I’m a lesbian….truthfully idek if I am one, I had always identified as bi but now I’m starting to wonder if that’s just Comphet….but I have had crushes on guys (when I was like elementary-early high school aged) but the lasting ones were always on girls. Anyway I was planning on maybe telling her the truth? But she scared me because she told me a few days ago if she finds out I’m gay from someone else she will never forgive me, because I’m a liar and she’s given me multiple chances to tell her the truth…she said it so seriously and I genuinely had a panic attack shortly after…I don’t know what I should do, I can’t lie about myself forever? But I’m so scared of her hating me…idk I feel like a horrible person …any advice or thoughts would be appreciated :/