Sorry about the long post but i really needed to share So I own a drone company that specializes in agriculture spraying. We spray herbicides, pesticides, etc. I only have one other guy with me and me and him were on a job. In comes boomer neighbor of farmer asking what are we doing on the property. I say we are spraying crops and hand him my business card. He tosses it to the ground( fuck you those were expensive) and condescendingly asks me " Are you the owner?" Already annoyed but ready to take off I say " yes and we would like to get started" He looks over to my employee and asks him " How much is he paying you, it can't be much." "30 an hour" he replies and this dude has a freakin meltdown in the middle of a field. He goes off saying "I don't even get that much and I work 10 times harder than both of you. All your doing is flying a drone, how hard can that be?" I point out it's got about 8 gallons of pesticide and it can be dangerous if it comes into contact. Couple that with requesting airspace clearance and drawing up a flight route it is actually hard work. Thankfully my client came out and the boomer walked off. Apparently this guy has been a pain in everyone's ass because he caused several property and animal ownership disputes around the community. Like I'm not sorry for charging that much nor am I sorry about integrating new tech for farmers using ancient methods.

Helena - Courtlady of Lannisport

Part 1

Reddit Account: SunstriderAlar
Discord Tag: u/SunstriderAlar
Name and House: Helena
Age: 22
Cultural Group: Westerman
Appearance: Helena is a young woman with soft doe-eyes, and unmistakable curling, golden hair. Raised by smallfolk, and Septa’s she wears her hair up and away from her face to ensure she does not let it get wet while cleaning or in her mouth while singing. She has delicate, porcelain, pale skin and cloudy soft blue eyes. No taller than 5’5” and is most often dressed in conservative simple fashions gathered by herself, or more elegant options gifted to her by a doting patron for formal events. Never shy to present her opinion, Helena has seen the world change, and her place in it numerous times. She is unafraid to do what she must, but knows the role of a woman.
Helena prefers to wear blue and yellow, the colours of Lord Swyft’s old sigil even though she has not lived in Cornfield for many years, and has no personal attachment to the house. Her real love though is unique broaches, and hairpins, different pins reveal different favours or stylings for different lords. She does enjoy crafting dresses as well, when the rare bolt of fabric comes her way she enjoys sewing and tailoring. She is often seen carrying a unique wooden six stringed lyre, or a three stringed lute; the former the cause for her name the Six Eyed Singer. She daps herself with lavender water most mornings, and cleans her teeth with mint, and rose now that she is employed by the Lannisters of Lannisport. Clean teeth are the hallmark of a charming, easy smile to make hearts of men and women alike flutter.
Trait: Elusive Shadow
Skill(s): Espionage, Devious, Schemer, Covert, Rumourmonger
Talent(s): Storyteller, lyre playing, deft fingers
Negative Trait(s): N/A
Starting Title(s): The Six-Eyed Singer, Septa Morgan, Jinny of Aegon’s Rest
Starting Location: Opening event

Part 2: Biography

Swyft Sept (3AC - 15AC)
Helena’s early life began in the Sept of Cornfield where her mother begged the Septa’s to take her. Dutifully, though reluctantly, they agreed, for what else were they to do, and where else was the girl to go. To the Governess of Cornfield, under the sanctity of the confessional, the woman, aching from the pain of birth and shame, confessed that the little girl was the bastard of Lord Swyft. The Governess, doubtful but knowing the man was not without vice, kept the secret to herself and allowed the girl to remain. The woman, who’s name was never revealed even to the Septa's, fled into the night shortly after never to be seen again. Helena was then, as promised, raised by the septas and the Governess of House Swyft. She learns basic literacy from the Seven Pointed Star with the Sisters and numbers from the Governess. Alongside her studies, she was put to work on chores like maid work, baking, cooking, cleaning, and serving Lord Swyft.
In 11AC, a travelling minstrel named The Lying Lyre arrived at Cornfield. A dashing young man with a shock of blonde curls that tumbled down his back like a mullet captivated Helena with his songs of far-off lands and noble families. In particular he sang of the Maiden’s Bay Tourney, the feats of House Targaryen, and after some time the Field of Fire and the failings of House Lannister. House Swyft was wealthy, and the Liar’s talents earned him much and more coin from the silver mines.
Helena of an age where curiosity ruled a child’s mind was enamoured with the man and his songs. She took up practising the lyre with him, and discovered that while no maestro, she had deft fingers and a mind for lyrics. Impressed by her interest and talent, the Liar gifted her a lyre before he left for future profits in far off lands. Some years of practice though, and a natural storyteller and rumourmonger Helena combined tales of the Seven Pointed Star and was invited to sing in the sept and even twice for Lord Swyft.
Six Eyed Singer (15AC - 20AC)
It was not to last though and following the slaughter in the Kingswood, the line of House Swyft was extinguished. Not wanting to test the new residents of Cornfield, the Warriors Sons and Poor Fellows, after all, all men have vice, she left Cornfield, and took to singing on the road. Going under the name Lyrebird, Helena played and sang for her coin and lodgings, a young girl protected only by being seen when she wanted and an elusive shadow when she did not.
Times on the road were not easy and The Lyrebird drew much attention. This necessitated the need for another alter ego and after a year on the road and towns and villages through the West were soon visited by the travelling Septa Morgan. The Septa heard confessions and sins, gave forgiveness and offered small advice to the poor and needy. She spared coins where she could and allowed Helena to remain covert. It did not matter to most that she was no real septa, she wore the robes, knew the words, and offered as a good moral compass to children. For most in the far flung reaches of the West she was enough.
Being raised in the faith though telling a perpetual lie about being a sister of the cloth was a little too much to bear for Helena. After a year with the reputation of Septa Morgan growing through the small folks of small villages, the Septa soon faded away. Instead Jinny of Aegon’s Rest started coming to smaller castles; Turnbury, Redbramble, Parren Hall, Oldstars and the like. She took on odd jobs cleaning, cooking, teaching a daughter to read or a son to do his numbers. She was after all no threat, knew her letters and numbers herself, and was capable of scheming many a septa or fatherly gatesman to let her in.
Jinny of Aegon’s Rest became a traveller through the keeps of the Westerlands. She heard the tales from children and small folk alike. She had never meant to undertake espionage, but her place inside various courts across the land, and her talent for being in the right place at the right time meant she was an unfortunate witness to many a courtly intrigue. As her small gifts earned her again a broad reputation she would be traded between greater lords. Soon she was playing for the elite, and earning the rewards that came with it. Helena of Cornfield once again took a new name, the Six Eyed Singer, which she quickly used to escape her courtly life and take again to the road as a travelling minstrel.
The Strawberry Tourney and Ball (20AC - Current)
The Six Eyed Singer formed a little bard troupe, nothing extravagant, she wasn’t playing for the Lannisters or the Targaryen’s yet, but enough to provide several shows across the Westerlands, Reach, and former Kingdom of the Trident. Her troupe, much like she had been accidentally, was devious, and while she or they sang, pockets were pinched, and many houses were looted. Her troupe when apart played for all the minor and middle nobles of the Trident and of the Reach too now. She and they were as much a part of the debauchery of the West as any of the wealthy merchants. There was no party too scandalous, no whorehouse unsung, no court too far flung for the right price and the West had gold burning through pockets.
The Six Eyed Singer was not the only bard with a troupe though and soon through the Kingdoms after Aegon’s conquest artisans, bards, and mummers alike filled the world with talent. In 20AC the Songbird made its mark, and with a little bit of fun, a lot of resentment for nobility, and an ingrained childlike sense of chaos, the first of the Songbirds’ letters sang. The voice of the little people flooded across the western coast of the Iron Throne. Lord Belaerys’ dragon had eaten several children whilst growing fat and hungry. Lancel Lannister had claimed the maidenhood of his chambermaid, and sired a bastard all at the age of just fifteen. Lord Frey schemed against his overlord for a free and independent Trident once again. Was all of it true? Impossible to say, but there were enough truths to turn heads, and the songs of the Songbird began to cause chaos in the Westerlands most of all. The Six Eyed Singer and her troupe played through it all, they were bards, but the Songbird was the most famous one of all; not their little merry band.
The Six Eyed Singer though continued her good work, and with her reputation came an invite to participate at the Strawberry Tourney and Ball alongside the other bardic troupes of the West and Reach. She was not so famous as to be alone, merely enough to earn an invite, and a paid job. The planning was years long, and with new songs and tunes came new rumours. While the Six-Eyed Singer played songs such as Fleece-eye, Dornish Sour Grapes, and Lion of the West, the Songbird worked their chaos.
A ripple pulsed through the tourney, first a cheater in the joust was revealed, Ser Byron who was disqualified as a result. Then a second cheater, this time in the melee, then a third cheater again in the joust Lord Payne had accepted a bribe from Lord Reyne to fall early. Cheating in the tourney was just the start, cheating in the bedroom of the ball was the main affair. Here the Songbird revealed three affairs; Lords Serret and Lyden were both fathers to children on women , not their wives. While Lady Serret and Lady Ruskin were bedfriends behind their husbands’ backs. There was one final scandal though, which was revealed to all at the tourney. Septon Karron was no true anointed Septon, and worse there was legitimacy to foulness surrounding young boys who served him.
The chaos broke over the tourney and all the artisans in attendance were forced to flee. Yet, all was not lost, for Lord Gerold Lannister of Lannisport had taken his eye to Helena and her playing. He offered her a job, for he wished to be a great sponsor of art in the new Seven Kingdoms. So it was she came to a courtly position, advising the Lord Lannister on matters of fine art, musicians, mummery, and all manner of artisanal dealings.
Timeline
3AC - Helena is born in the Sept of Cornfield, her mother a woman from Silverhill who begs the septa’s to take the girl in. She reveals her identity to the Governess of House Swyft, and claims the child is Lord Swyft’s bastard. She leaves shortly after giving birth and recovering.
4-10AC - She is raised in the cloister with the sisters, her Septa mothers raising her lessons on reading from the Seven Pointed Star, and numbers from the Governess to ensure that she can do basic arithmetic. She takes basic lessons in scullery maid work, baking, and general service work for old Lord Swyft.
11AC - A travelling minstrel, The Lying Lyre, comes through Cornfield to sing songs of the tourney of Maiden’s Bay, House Targaryen, and the Field of Fire. He takes a liking to the young Helena, and gifts her a lyre. He stays in Cornfield for some time, both because it is lucrative and because he enjoys teaching the young girl.
12-14AC - The Lying Lyre departs Cornfield but leaves a talented and hardworking Helena with the sisters once more. She takes to singing sections of the Seven Pointed Star, and even performs for Lord Swyft a few times.
15AC - The House of Swyft dies out and Helena, unaware of her claimed parentage but with a talent for song leaves the cloister and takes to the road, not trusting the new Warriors Sons or Poor Fellows. She uses the name Lyrebird and sings and plays her lyre for coin to survive.
16AC - After a year on the road Helena takes up the name Septa Morgan and takes to hearing confessions of the poor and needy across the Westerlands. Many of them need guidance and wearing her septa robes she is the perfect person to hear them. She is no real Septa but no amount of explaining the technicality of that stops people asking her to forgive them.
17AC - Her reputation as Septa Morgan grows a little too heavy on her shoulders, and Helena takes to wearing more common clothes, moving from keep to keep and working as a barmaid, scullery girl, and baker amongst other professions. She goes by the name Jinny of Aegon’s Rest.
18AC - Chance takes its favour on her, and Helena with her simple lyre is invited to play at a feast in Lannisport. Dressed now as a travelling minstrel she performs for the gathered nobles and earns herself invitations to other keeps. With her generous benefactors she hires a small troupe to perform her songs across the West.
19AC - Travelling the Westerlands, Helena under the moniker The Six Eyed Singer, takes her talents for being present at feasts and gatherings of all sorts.
20AC - Rumour of The Songbird takes hold, and the West is awash in the voice of the little people.
21AC - The Strawberry Tourney and Ball unfolds and Helena’s skills earn her favour with Lord Gerold Lannister.
22AC - Lord Gerold Lannister recognising her many talents picked her up to be one of the primary serving women in his House. His eye for artistic endeavours endeared him to her enough for a comfortable place as a favoured bard, painter, educator, and common court woman.

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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About a month ago my husband physically assaulted me. We've been together for almost five years and just got married in February. I'm in my late twenties and he's in his early 40s. He was laid off a month prior to the assault and couldn't keep himself together, but things had been particularly rough for a few months before that as well. He has serious anger issues, is a bit (or a lot) of a narcissist, and drinks heavily most nights. I've learned how to deal with the mental abuse over the years (I've gotten pretty numb to it), but obviously it hasn't all been bad with him. On the night of the assault he provoked a fight with me and we argued (he was angry with my father over something that happened between them, I defended my father), but it escalated to him grabbing me from behind, slamming me into the ground, grinding my face into the carpet, and dumping his drink on me. He left bruises on my back and the side of my face. After I collected myself, I tried to confront him about what had happened that same night and he accused me of faking it, hitting myself to create the bruises, and he videotaped my crying while mocking me and telling me he was going to post it on the internet. He was drunk, but it was still such a surreal and ugly experience.
There have been a few occasions where he got physical during our relationship but never to this level. He's also done his fair share of punching and throwing things, but never actually directed any of that at me until a few months prior to this. He was angry and yelling and threw a roll of Haribo gummy's at my head. I dodged it and he missed, but I was stunned by the escalation. He mocked me and tried to convince me he didn't throw them at me, and said even if he did, it was just candy. It seemed like a dumb thing for me to be so freaked out by, but it stayed with me. It was something I thought about again after the assault, like I should have seen all of this coming.
I left the next morning after and have been staying with my dad. I've still spoken to my husband frequently and we did see each other once. For the first week or two he was incredibly apologetic and said all the right things to make me believe it wouldn't happen again. He almost convinced me that he was serious about change and I was starting to think that I should just go back to our apartment and move on. I've missed him a lot and I've felt completely alone without him. But then he started going back to his old ways. Shifting the blame to me, digging through the last five years of our relationship to find things to get angry at me for, and trying to draw comparisons to past (verbal) fighting with the physical assault he committed that night. He has expressed remorse and said that it won't happen again, but I don't know if he means it and I don't know if he even cares. I think he's too much of a narcissist to even try to examine how he could be at fault in this situation. It's frustrating and sad because I feel like in the back of his head he honestly believes that I'm overreacting and he's reached his "limit" on being apologetic. Anytime he's ever been wrong or has done something wrong, he lashes out to protect his own ego.
Our last few phone calls have been terrible. He even tried to say that I assaulted him and it was no different than what he did, referring to a night a couple years ago when I was trying to push his chest to get him out of my apartment during a big fight when he was refusing to leave. He has over 100lbs on me so I didn't have much of an impact. But in his mind, that's the same as what he did. Or at least that's what he told me while he was drunk and yelling at me on the phone. Lately he's gone back to insulting me, gaslighting me, and calling me crazy, and even with all of that, I'm STILL considering going back to him. I don't know if I'm just brainwashed at this point, but I keep making excuses for him and I keep doubting myself and my own accounting of things. He's always told me that I have a terrible memory and I'm "crazy" and whatever else he can say to twist the narrative in his favor, especially after he's blown up at me, and I guess it actually had an impact on me. I'm doubting all of my own feelings and all of the fear and anxiety I feel when I think about him. At times I try to blame myself for the things he's done. I feel disgusted by it.
Just for a laugh I should add that I'm a Canadian citizen and we were in the middle of filing a green card application on my behalf. I talked to my immigration lawyer and she gave me some good advice, but it's making this whole situation even more stressful and difficult. I would be lying if I said it wouldn't be easier to just go back to him instead of having to pack my whole life up and leave the country, which is really my only other option now. I honestly (and shamefully) do really miss him, but going back feels like I'm almost guaranteeing that the same abuse will start back up again. Maybe not physical abuse, but definitely all the mental abuse. It's already started and I'm not even back with him yet.
If anyone actually made it this far, thank you for reading. I really needed to vent and I've read a lot of posts on here that I can relate to.

I need help in regards to a recent situation between me and my partner. I will start off with some follow up events to include important details.
To Set Up The Situation:
My (26M) partner and I (22F) had a pretty uneventful day. I had the day off of work, and as he does not work and is just staying with me - he was “off” as well. That day we had one thing planned: to go to my parents place so we could change the oil in my car, and also eat dinner with them.
After dinner, on the way back I asked what he would like to do when we got home. I suggested we continue watching The Office together, or if he preferred to game, or we could do something else. He chose gaming.
When we got home I asked if we could put The Office on the other monitor so we could at least participate in a shared activity. I asked if it would distract him from his game and he said no, and put on the show. I sat on the bed and decided to do my nails, and he sat in his chair about 4ft away and gamed as we both listened to The Office.
The Situation:
After a handful of hours of doing that, he logged off of the game and spent some time on his phone. He then abruptly said he wanted alone time in the other room. This to me was surprising as it was nearly time for bed and I had work early the next morning. The window for spending time together that day would have been closed if he took space. He walked to the living room.
I followed him out to ask how long he might be spending alone, and to ask why. After much conversation he told me it's because he “didn't feel wanted” and was upset that I didn’t go over and hug him while he was playing the game during that time period we spent together. He expressed he was upset we did no physical hugging / spending time together.
This to me was surprising as firstly, I had asked if he wanted to do anything together before we got home and he chose to game. It also surprised me because I had even gone as far to suggest meeting in the middle by putting on The Office so we could do a shared activity while he gamed. I was under the impression that he wanted to game, and that us simply chilling together in the same vicinity was okay.
So I responded that if he wanted to do something else or wanted physical connection, he should have communicated that. I said that he had chosen gaming, and if he wanted physical connection he could have even asked me to pull over a chair so I was closer.
He then responded that if he has to ask for it, then he didn't want it.
The Sub Situation:
Now about a week prior we had a similar situation where he called the very same mindset “flawed”. This ties-in at the end, so I will give you all a brief summary.
A week prior I walked into the room to find him playing a co-op game with his friends that he previously said he would invite me to (I also game). I got hurt that he didn't invite me after he said he would, and asked him why I didn't get an invite. His response was that he didn't know I wanted to play, and that I should have asked him what game he was going to play when he told me he was sitting down to play a game with friends - yet he still did not invite me after that conversation. So I communicated that I was hurt about the situation, and that I was extra hurt he didn't think of inviting me even after he knew I had a rough day at work.
He then invited me. However I declined as it was clear to me that he didn't really want me there, as he did not invite me the first time I asked why.
Basically: Because I had to ask (twice) I really didn't want to join, even if he did eventually invite me. He told me that my mindset was flawed, and that I should have just accepted.
Wrapping Things Up:
Now those two situations share a similarity - Both with the case of “If I have to ask for this, I don’t want it at all”. However, in both situations he had a different approach.
Where he had previously said that just because I had to ask for something it does not take away from the gesture, and that it was silly of me to decline. He now thinks it is a valid approach when applied to his situation when I told him he should have communicated.
So I asked why. And I asked which one he believes to be correct.
His response: That because I have felt that way in the past, HE is now forced to feel that way about it. Even though he previously did not on multiple occurring occasions. He said he “learned it from me”. He said that it's not because it's a right or a wrong mindset, but that he's learned that is what’s supposed to happen.
Ending Thoughts:
That to me seems very off. I can’t put my finger on why, maybe it is a lack of accountability? Maybe he’s shifting blame? But this is not the first time he has claimed to feel a certain way or take a stance purely because I have felt that way in the past. And this is not the first time he has used it to justify a thought that he previously did not agree with.
Does anyone know if this is something I should watch out for? Or even if this reasoning is correct? Perhaps I simply do not understand and it is a very normal thing to happen. I am trying to figure out my next steps moving forward, and how to handle that response in the future.
Thank you for reading.

The cards fear once dealt
100% conjuration 80% transmutation %60 manipulation 40% emission
Abilities:
New hand
The user gets 15 cards in their hand that can range from an ace to a king they can disappear and reappear at will and contain magical effects, this ability can only be used once per eight hours when its used the previous hand disappears.
Fates draw
The user pulls a card from their hand this card acts as a projectile that flies towards any enemy(s) of the users choice the higher the points the card is worth the more power it has for example an ace would maybe be able to destroy a small stone or blow up a watermelon while a king could annihilate a medium sized yacht, the user can also split a card after it’s been thrown and control each partition individually for example the user could throw a nine for the ability then in order to target three people with it split the card into three threes.
House of cards
The user takes 10 points worth of cards from their hand and lays them on the ground in front of themself a pyramid made of large cards will then erect itself around the user, this “house of cards” can expand up to 20 ft by 20 ft wide and 20 ft tall but starts 6 ft tall and 6 by 6 ft wide this expansion can be used offensively but as it grows bigger the house of cards loses durability while the house of cards is at its starting size it can protect from 20 tons of force on any point.
The gamblers pursuit
The user summons a table with two decks of cards set next to each other in the middle of the table , the table emanates an ominous yet euphoric aura, the user can then sit down at sed table and offer someone to sit down and play if the person sits down and accepts the second deck of cards they are dowsed in the users aura this aura is transmuted into chemicals that seep into the other persons body that trigger the freeze response and cause an impending sense of doom within that person if the other person feels fear the aura in their body is manipulated by the user to flee from the other persons body. The user then conjures a nen beast that is made of cards swirling around a blue sphere of fire and a contract with forever shifting non descript symbols the user then gives the other person the option to sign the contract with their blood or die instantly if the user gets them to sign the contract and feeds it to to the conjured nen beast the nen beast will dissipate into the other person, the other person must then listen to the user or be subject to the nen beast within them transmuting their aura into a chemical that generates a feeling of death that will slowly increase until the other person goes insane, kills themself, or starts listening to the user. On the other hand if the other person is brave enough and chooses death at the users table they are let free and the user can no longer target them with any of their abilities.
The card carved path from the fear of endless death
The user can place three piles of cards each worth at least 10 points to create a triangular area that floods anyone who steps in with and impending sense of doom, if some one stands within the area for more then one minute will transported to a nen space that consists of an endlessly forward expanding path of cards filled with aura from the user that seeps into the victim that gives a feeling of fear in a dark void behind anyone in this nen space their is a giant nen beast composed of dark mist that moves towards the person stuck in the nen space till that person dies of exhaustion or turns around and confronts the creature causing the person to be teleported back to the material realm.

I know he's just a dog and he probably forgot all about it but I just can't help but feel sad and defensive for him. For context, my dog is a 95 pound large breed. However, he's very gentle - gets along with all the dogs at the park (small and big). In fact, he's so gentle that the fellow dog owners often call him a "gentle giant". We're normally on the right side of the park, the flatter side since it's an off leash area.
Today, this man was sitting on the grass with his reactive dog. When my dog stood around his dog (maybe about 5-10 feet), his dog started losing his mind and started barking at him. I'm assuming the other dog owner felt ashamed and started yelling at my dog like "f-ing go! f-ing get out of here! Go away!".
When I went up to him and asked him why he feels the need to yell at a dog that's not his when he could've controlled his dog and calmed his dog down, he proceeded to give me a sob story saying he got attacked by a similar looking dog and that if my "dog's feelings get hurt then that's his problem". Like wtf?
He started getting aggressive and I didn't feel like dealing with his craziness after a long work day anymore, so I left to let my dog join the other dogs. I could tell he was staring my way the entire time and after about 10 minutes of staring, he proceeded to leave with a middle finger in the air.
We never yell at him at home, so having him get yelled at in public was so upsetting for me. And for me to be gaslit into feeling like I'm overreacting because he "can't hurt a dog's feelings" is even more upsetting.
Has this happened to anyone before? Not going to post pictures of him and his dog because I want to respect his privacy but I've never had anyone yell at my dog or have ever yelled at another dog that wasn't mine before, so this is just mind boggling to me.

Hey all, tried double weaving tonight on my RHL (Ashford 24", 7.5 dpi reeds) after watching the Casanova video. I did OK - it has two layers, joined in the middle! But I missed a bunch of warp threads on the bottom layer and had some other issues.
Used acrylic in my test which isn't great tension to begin with. Shouldn't have used worsted weight because I can't see down into the bottom sheds. Guess I could sit on the floor with a flashlight or move the shuttle only three or four threads at a time so I don't skip warps, but this would be so time consuming I'm wondering if anybody has better suggestions. Seems like a DK or even a heavy fingering might be better, although of course that's going to result in a pretty loose weave in a 7.5 dpi.
Could use some pointers on how to deal with small sheds in this generally. Thanks in advance for any help!

(The Merrow)
It has been a long time since I thought about these things, but I think starting with the Merrow was the right choice. They were dangerous, sure, but for the most part, they didn't interact with us much. I think it's time I told another story, this time, though, I think I'll go into one of the things that sent me to the hospital.
Normally, when you're sailing one of the big things you want to do is avoid storms. They can cause unnecessary damage to your ship or even kill members of the crew. When I was in the military we never ran into a storm, high-tech sonar and weather monitoring equipment made the chances of that happening slim. The same goes for my time on cruises, really. We'd sail around them and the passengers would be none the wiser. So, it wasn't until I started working on smaller cargo and fishing ships that I learned about hellclouds.
Nobody really knows what causes them, but they always seem to appear near storms. To most, they look like fog resting atop the waves, but I've learned differently. I know what's in Hellclouds.
The first few times I encountered them, it wasn't anything crazy. We were inside and getting ready to bunk down for the night when the pa sounded.
"Alright boys, dog down all hatches and stay inside. Looks like we have to go through a Hellcloud."
Those who were more seasoned on these smaller boats quickly ran to all of the doors and locked the hatches down tight, placing a piece of steel on the handle to prevent it from turning. I watched with morbid curiosity as they scurried about like ants, dutifully sealing the inside of the ship off and covering all of the portholes. When they finally finished I took the chance to ask one of the saltier sailors what the hell was going on.
"You'll see soon enough. Thought you'd been sailing a while, never been through a Hellcloud?"
I shook my head "Been on a lot of bigger ships, don't ever remember going through one of these."
He nodded, "Bigger ships have fancy navigation, usually able to avoid storms and Hellclouds without too much issue." We talked for a little longer, sharing some sea stories to pass the time, but then, things got eerie. The sound of the waves lapping against our fishing boat suddenly disappeared and everything was silent. I looked to the older sailor and he gave me a solemn nod. "Keep quiet. Don't draw their ire."
Suddenly the world exploded, cacophonous agonized screams and horrid roaring echoed across the deck. I could hear heavy breaths as something moved outside, within moments it was at the hatch, jiggling it in an attempt to open the door, to expose us to the nightmare outside. The jiggling stopped and something heavy banged against the steel, letting loose a low throaty growl. I jumped in shock, but the other guy grabbed me and raised a finger to his lips. The banging continued, and the screaming grew louder as the ship began to rock and shake. It was like being in some of the choppiest waters I had ever experienced.
I've never gotten seasick, never even come close, but that night when I first went through that cloud I nearly puked. Soon, the pounding ceased and the screaming began to fade. The churning waters stopped tossing our boat and everything seemed to calm down. We unlocked the hatches and checked outside for damage to the boat. There were dents in the deck and on the hatch, but things were otherwise fine. I breathed a sigh of relief and spoke to the other sailor after we had made sure things were still in working order.
"Yeah, Hellclouds are weird. Lot of guys think they're portals to other dimensions. Heard stories about ships that get caught in Hellclouds. When the clouds disappear, so do the ships. Bermuda Triangle's got a lot of 'em. All I know for sure? You don't want to get caught outside in one. You seen the door." he murmured, motioning to the dented hatch.
​I went through seven Hellclouds on that boat. None of them were exactly the same. Some were short, five minutes, others we were harassed for hours while strange creatures tried to claw their way into the ship. Every time the damage to the ship was minimal, and every time we just got back to things like nothing happened.
Until something did.
We were sailing somewhere in the Atlantic and I was on deck with another deckhand, Gregg, and we were finishing up the late shift. Things suddenly got really quiet and the captain frantically came on the PA "HELLCLOUD! SEAL THE SHIP NOW!" Gregg and I exchanged a glance before we bolted for the hatch, but it was too late. The door had been sealed. I felt my stomach sink, and when I looked over to Gregg I could see the color in his face was gone. We were outside. We were outside in a Hellcloud.
​The anguished roar of a thousand voices dropped me to my knees, my hands shot to my ears and I wanted to scream in pain, but I couldn't. Weakly, I looked to Gregg, he was in the same position. We knelt there covering our ears as the screams echoed deafeningly all around us, my head swam and my vision clouded. I could feel the blood pooling in my clenched hands, and then there were stars.
My vision was rocked with a bright light as intense pressure sent me flying into the wall of the boat. Even through the screams, I could hear the thing growling, but as I opened my eyes I saw nothing. Within moments of colliding with the hull, I felt myself leaving the ground. I heard the low growl of the creature again as my body was racked with white-hot pain, cooled only by a warm trickle of what I could imagine was my blood. I gasped, hands beating desperately at something I couldn't see, but there was no relief. I squirmed, screamed, and fought. There was no solace, only agony as I felt my body being torn to shreds.
Blacking out was a mercy.
​I was airlifted to the nearest hospital, and that night I died for four minutes. I spent two months recovering from the mauling I experienced, doctors had no explanation for what happened, it wasn't like lions or bears just roamed the ocean. Eventually, it was chalked up to falling overboard and being attacked by wildlife, they never delved deeper than that. Gregg was injured, but he was able to recover within a few weeks, sadly the ordeal cost him his eye.
For me? Two fingers, and a foot. I'm also now partially deaf. I still consider it a blessing that I survived. Apparently, we were in the cloud for six minutes, which means I was beaten for six minutes and I survived.
I spent around six months on land, doing jobs in docks and fish markets, but I couldn't stand it. Everything about shore life felt empty. After that time I went back out, because even Hellclouds weren't what finally broke me.

I’m a long time casual paper legacy player. I don’t care enough to spend the money for magic online, but I like paper legacy so I keep up with the 2 decks I own in paper. I lurk in a number of discord channels for the relevant legacy decks I play and some content creators in the legacy community.
This is a moment in the legacy community right now where there are a couple very polarizing cards and strategies at the top of the metagame. There was a banned and restricted announcement today that took action very few people were expecting, and for the second time in a row, acknowledged the polarizing cards are being “watched”.
The ensuing insanity I witnessed in these discords was out of control. Truly some of the funniest, most embarrassing worse than middle school shit. Name calling, ad hominem attacks over literally nothing, “you’re blocked and I hope you ” insults, and good-fucking-god the cringiest essay posts about this all this stupid bullshit. This behavior was significantly more tame in the mass non-Channel affiliated discord channels, but in the content creator affiliated ones it was just one hysterical pissing match after another. At several points I was laughing imagining the dozens of neckbeard they/thems on their keyboards/phones tearing their fucking hair out arguing over this shit. And the “influencers” who run the channel were among the worst of them all. Either being the biggest bitches of the bunch or trying (and failing) to shut it all down.
Maybe I’m just baked and thinking about this too much. But the more I do, I can’t help but pity all of them. Hooooolllllyyyyyy shit these people need to find more meaningful shit to add to their lives.
That’s it, that’s the tweet.
PSA: If you were one of the ones getting that upset over changes to the rules for a card game, a thing you choose to do because you claim you have fun doing it, then you have a sad fucking life. Plain and simple.

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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Total budget (In local currency) and country of purchase: 1000€, Germany
Are you open to refurbs/used? not really, maybe if it's a really good offer
How would you prioritize form factor, build quality, performance, and battery life? 1. Performance 2. Build quality 3. Form Factor 4. Battery Life
Do you have a preferred screen size? If indifferent, put N/A. N/A
Are you doing any CAD/video editing/photo editing/gaming? List which programs/games you desire to run. League of Legends, Rocket League, Minecraft, Witcher 3
If you're gaming, do you have certain games you want to play? At what settings and FPS do you want? games listed above already I'd like to run them at medium/normal quality at 30-40 fps (to add, I'd like to play Minecraft with a shader)

• Any specific requirements such as good keyboard, touch-screen, finger-print reader, optical drive or good input devices (keyboard/touchpad)? None, really Maybe not the worst keyboard, but I rarely use the touch pad etc.
  
• Leave any finishing thoughts here that you may feel are necessary and beneficial to the discussion. This laptop will be moved around a lot, about 2 times a week. If it's a little on the heavier, that wouldn't be an issue. It's also more of a temporary solution until I can buy a proper PC in around 1.5 - 2 years.
  

Hey! I have been spending a lot of time in this subreddit reading other people’s experiences to comfort myself through my own abortion process, and I wanted to share my story for any other uterus-havers out there that were in the same boat as me and need a little reassurance and honesty about the process. For reference, I’m 19F and 5’4/115lbs, and I’ve been with my partner (20M) for almost three years.
I took a pregnancy test on the 40th day of my cycle (so I was five weeks four days along, my period was a week and a half late) and got a very quick positive result. I had a suspicion that I was pregnant because I had some weird spotting in the middle of my cycle and the week my period was supposed to start (no clotting), odd cramps, random nausea from strong smells, needing to pee way more than usual, random sadness and aggression from ovulation onward, extreme breast swelling and sensitivity (they were agonizing to even touch) and an ever so slight bloat that appeared right around ovulation and never really went down. I live in a southern state and knew that going in for procedure was going to be a goat rope despite the fact that I live in a decently sized city- I knew that if I was pregnant I wanted to have the medical abortion at home with my partner.
I ordered pills from AidAccess and it couldn’t have been any simpler, all I had to do was fill out a short survey and they guided me through email on how to pay for the pills. They were delivered about three days after I ordered them in an unmarked mail envelope with directions on how to use them inside. I ordered them a few days before I took the test because I was pretty confident it was going to be positive. They sent me 1 Mifepristone and 12 Misoprostol.
I took the test on a Friday night and told my partner I was pregnant, and he insisted I take another test just to be sure before I took the medication. Once again, another strong positive. At 9pm that night I took 800mg of Motrin (4 pills) and ate a bag of microwave popcorn and drank some water so I’d have something on my stomach. At 9:30 I took the Mifepristone orally and immediately inserted 4 Misoprostol vaginally- I’m terrified of throwing up and told my partner that if we had to get medical help to make sure there weren’t any remnants of the pills left inside. I know it’s NOT OPTIMAL to take the Miso at the same time as the Mife, but it was Easter weekend and I couldn’t be prolonging this process to when I would be going back to my extremely Christian and conservative parents’ house for the holiday.
I was extremely terrified and shaking when I got back into bed with my partner, and he rubbed my stomach to calm me down and put on a movie as a distraction. After about an hour I felt some light cramping and discomfort but nothing serious. At 12:30am, I inserted the next 4 pills vaginally- there was no bleeding at this point and I was worried, but I decided to give it time. My partner and I fell asleep around 1am and I woke up at about 3:15am to some discomfort but no real pain, and at 3:30am I inserted the last 4 pills and had bloody fingers after. I slept until about 10am the next morning and woke up feeling normal and not in any pain. I went to the bathroom to pee, and as soon as I sat down I had about a solid thirty seconds of chunks, clotting, and blood pouring out. I called my partner in and we ultimately determined that I had probably passed the pregnancy with the size of the chunks in the toilet.
Saturday and Easter Sunday were fairly normal, I stayed taking Motrin and bleeding ever so slightly throughout the weekend. The worst part was the hormonal comedown, I felt like I had been hit by a bus emotionally and didn’t really compute actual feelings. Monday morning I got up and went into work feeling pretty normal, and at about 9:30am I got hit with the worst abdominal pain I have ever felt in my life (I’m prescribed opioids for my cramps as a result of how many times I’ve been hospitalized from sheer pain, so this was a big deal) and clung to the toilet bowl for about 45 minutes at my research firm before just calling it a day and going home. I took 800mg of Motrin and it took about two hours to kick- those were probably the worst two hours of my life up to that point. Nothing would shake the pain, I was taking hot baths and putting microwaved bags of rice on my stomach and nothing was alleviating it. I also started bleeding heavily and clotting severely again. By about 2:30pm that afternoon I was feeling okay enough to get myself some food and felt like I would be able to go into work the next day.
I was so wrong. I was so entirely wrong. I woke up at about 8:00am the next morning and immediately vomited from the antagonizing pain I was in. This was the first time I actually threw up during the whole experience- thankfully my partner was there to hold my hair back and try to make me eat toaster waffles so I could take some more Motrin before he went to work. I was somehow able to choke it down and fell asleep shortly after as I did NOT want to be awake. Wednesday was a little crampy and bloody but I went to work and took breaks sitting on the cold bathroom floor for about 15-20 minutes at a time through the day- but by Thursday we were smooth sailing.
The uterine swelling, needing to pee, and breast tenderness went away after about a week and a half, and the bleeding stopped after about two weeks. I took two more pregnancy tests exactly four weeks from that Friday and they were both negative, and my first period was exactly six weeks after the abortion- it started this Friday. Emotionally, I’m still recovering- Mother’s Day kinda sucked for me I won’t lie, haha. I definitely couldn’t handle a baby right now as I’m a research scientist and my career is on the incline, but it’s fun to dream.
I’ll put any resources I used in the comments as this post is getting very long, and I’ll try to answer whatever questions anyone has to the best of my ability. The buildup was definitely scarier than the actual thing, as it was just like having a heavy period drawn out- and if you’re pregnant, you’ve probably had a period before, so just look at it as something you already experience once every 4 weeks, just ever so slightly amped up. Nothing new. You got this!

Anyone else less than satisfied with it? While the amplification and noise cancelling is a helpful feature, I feel like it’s almost too good. I just purchased it, so not sure if it’s just user error, but I seem to pick up way more noise when listening against clothes than with my old Littman classic. I’ve tried holding it with split index/middle fingers and also just holding the outer rim of the bell but the slightest movement or interference with the tube makes auscultation difficult.

I didn’t do it. I didn’! I didn’t! I’m no murderer, no, listen! I will tell you your a killer. You do not believe me? Even for a moment? But little is my own sentence even a concern for me, the freedom in society has little left to offer me. Grief and horror are all that fill my mind, the only residents remaining in my home. And you’d expect it to be such an oppressing grief. But no, no, no…it is much more the horror. It is much more the intense fear, the great disgusting and evil works that wait for me in the dark. The grizzly voice that reassures me of fate in its worst forms. It is here now. Cackling at its maniacal work. I hear it. What are you worth wretch! You’ll burn all your years and infinite more! But forgive me, my anger is difficult to suppress against my enemy. He lingers still. A lover of deception however, would be a fool in his own craft to reveal his intentions. Thus, would be a fool to reveal their own horrid form. Therefore, relinquish some of your repulsion of me, so that you may have at least some possibility of belief in what I say. I understand the situation I’m in, but why should I refrain from telling the truth simply because it is unlikely you will believe me? Especially when you condemn me? Listen then!
I was watching television, and my roommate was out the entirety of this night. My family remained in Los Angeles during this time, so they are not making any affect on what occurred. But you want me to tell of my roommate? I am telling you! You ask about the murderer, so you must listen to all I know of him. It was in the most ordinary of circumstances and activity when such a striking and alarming voice pierced the room. The TV was quiet, and I lounged about with dull mind. When I heard someone call for my name from down the hall, whom which I couldn’t see since the door was closed, I of course simply responded, “Yeah?” This was the very first of the remarkable experiences I began to have. I realized what had just occurred. I was home alone, so who could be calling to me from my own room? Well I suspected then my roommate. But I had trouble reconciling the voice I heard with that of my roommate. It had such an eerie tone to it. Almost as if it were teasing me. Yet, it was such a convincing and deceptive call, that the mocking tone it had was almost imperceivable. As if maybe this creepy inflection was a result of my own nerves or unfamiliarity with the event.
Regardless of it’s true nature, this odd quality roused my attention. Was I indeed not alone? But then it must be my roommate, since it was my name. I could not get over the gross friendly tone it called to me with. It’s as if it was bragging about knowing my name. I froze for a moment with the TV playing, listening for another call. “Javier” a woman's voice called out gently and compassionately. But such disgusting compassion did it call out. It seems it couldn’t itself disguise just the slightest hint of malevolence that just snuck under the tone. Or perhaps it meant to say it how it did. But it terrified me. I reasoned it must be somebody I know. But I couldn’t bear the action of getting up looking around. I was simply frozen, wishing not to move and cause myself to miss out on hearing more by making a racket myself. it didn’t even come from behind the door, it was as if it was somewhere far away. Yet it was so clear and punctual in volume.
This left me more at unease and helpless to find a solution. This time I did not respond. I greatly regretted responding the first time. I only paused the TV and looked about myself anxiously, dreading that something would speak again. After many moments of silence, I compromised to rest from my alert. And as the words spoke drifted deeper into the past, the simple abnormality of them caused them to resist their place in my mind as credibly existing. Though it happened not long ago that same hour, I questioned if I did indeed hear a call out for my name in such a mysterious and ugly tone as I had. This was just before the most morbid of calls occurred. It spoke to my name again, “Would you come, Javier?” But such terror came over me in that delicately rude and friendly tone which it spoke to me in. The suspense and anticipation for the call was intensely surmised to a realization as my heart began a sprint. This voice was not just a woman's, it was my sister. How incredibly unlikely she would be here, unannounced and somehow in my home without my knowledge. I still held intense fear, for you must understand the uncanny sense from this call. It was as if someone was inciting their vocals and tone to imitate or mock a human. It seemed not as if they were doing an impression of my sister—no, for it sounded exactly like my sister—but instead it seemed as if they attempted an impression of a human. Such a perfect quality, yet just so slightly imperfect that I may subconsciously perceive something wasn’t quite genuine in this call. I darted my perceptions across the room wide eyed. I quickly looked about myself, checking behind me multiple times.
Now, the following details not only enhance the unbelievable notions of my current situation, but may in fact completely discredit me in even speaking about them. But you must hear it! I implore you to imagine this! It is the truth—all of what I say is. For the night I heard her—my sister that is—speak to me in my own apartment, was the same night, as I learned weeks later, is the same night she had died. Sophia, that is her name, had killed herself.
Many nights passed like this when I was alone. I was tormented by calls with no direction or location. I shuddered at creepy voices beckoning in the dark. Sometimes, even in daylight, things spoke to me while I was alone. Unrelenting and disturbing voices within my home. Now, you may presume at this moment I am clearly schizophrenic. Indeed, I too had this notion. I seeked a psychiatrist during this time, to which medicine was prescribed and an indefinite period of shipping as well. But I perceived far too many REAL things. Yes, these could be hallucinations, but you couldn’t possibly have that conclusion if you hear what else this has done to me.
It happened after many terrible nights that I heard of my sister’s death. I was very shocked at first. But sadness was not next door, grief did not have time to move in. Instead, a realization taunted and teased my peace. I would hear her tonight, speaking to me. You may not imagine the dread that filled my day. I went to work and back home as a zombie. The tasks and conversations passed me by as dreams. I was incredibly absent and void of presence in my own life. My head spun before it comprehended any purpose of grief and despair. When I returned home I found myself double, triple checking that the lights were on and the blinds shut. Even though these things were clearly in my sight. I also locked doors and called my roommate to make sure he was home. I begged and pleaded with him, but he only brushed me off telling me he can't ditch his shift. I paced back and forth within the rooms pitching the plan to myself to have a hotel room. I eventually settled on this as it brought peace to me. And that night passed, at least before I slept, how I hoped. My sister did not speak to me from the darkness. But woe had not stopped its intention upon me that night.
I managed to fall asleep. In my dreams that night, I was visited with a vivid nightmare. I stood in my childhood home waiting at the door with a bat in my hand, standing between my sister and the entrance. I had this feeling that something bad was going to happen, and that I had to protect her, though nothing in particular was occurring. Then, with a gentle creek, a clawed hand reached and pushed the front door gently open. A demonically horned monstrosity stepped into the room. Its hooves clopped upon the wood floor. I intended to combat it, but my muscles took no command from me, and I swung the bat as if I was in molasses. It lunged with a deep roar to my sister, digging its hands into her stomach and viciously tearing it open with ease. It dug through her chest cavity as a dog digs holes in the dirt, spewing and tossing guts and organs out slashed and mutilated. I stood helpless and disgusted, until it turned towards me. It dropped my sister to the ground like a doll it no longer wanted to play with. It approached and grasped me tightly, growling a deep animalistic anger, its stature looming over me. It took its claw and dug it into its own eye, slicing it and tearing it open. It leaned over me, inches from my face. I screamed in horror. Black blood seeped and dripped from its swollen socket into my mouth. I struggled ferociously but the blood continuously poured from its eye into me.
I awoke sweating in pitch black, feeling Intense fear in myself. As a child that had not had their night light. I was terrified of the thought of something being in the darkness. I knew I was awake, and I was in a hotel in the middle of the night, but my heart started racing in irrational fear. I didn’t even have the courage to lift my head and look about the room to satiate the tormenting curiosity in the mystery of a possible supernatural visitor. But, I did. There was a demon sitting on the chair. A darker than dark silhouette of someone sitting hunched, looking at me. It was a shadow. But I knew, even then, this was a devil. I felt it. The blood in my skin fell away. I was mortified; in absolute terror. I stared unmoving with my heart beating out of my chest at this figure.
I slowly began to hold disdain for it. It did not move, it did not speak. But, I was beginning to be relieved of my fear. Instead, it was replaced with hate. Burning, mean hate. I hated it. No, I abhorred it. I was angry. The most intense rage fell upon me. I stood up from my bed, looking about the darkness. I stomped and clenched my fists. Captured in the most ridiculous delusion of fury, I began yelling and thrashing my room. I broke vases and electronics. I smashed the TV to the ground. I bit and gnawed at the chair leg which the thing sat on. I flipped the mattress and kicked doors off their hinges. I scratched and tore pillows like a feline. I was filled with so much hate and anger. I remained like this until hotel staff came to subdue me. Which, at their arrival, the feeling subsided suddenly.
I now was plagued daily by these voices, and nightly by this demon. The visits were not as dramatic as the first, but still, It watched me from different places in the dark each time. All it did was sit there. Weeks passed like this, I lost tremendous amounts of sleep attending to fruitless solutions and avoidances. Either I slept not a wink the night and evaded my tormentor, save for the voices if I’m alone, or I had to face my tormentor in the midst of night with a bravery I did not possess, awoken by various nightmares or visions designed for me that night.
But this is merely his entrance, I must now speak of the acquaintance he made with me. It was another terrible midnight where I stared at it, in whichever spot it had chose for the night, contemplating the nature of such a gross presence and its effect on me. When, filled with a ridiculous exhaustion and exhasperation, I called out to it, “What do you want!” I saw a slight twitch in its head, which struck me with more surprise than fear, although I had both. “Do you know me?” It spoke in a low and growled voice. It had such a tone of malevolence and mocking speech, it even felt as if it spoke condescendingly, as if I was a child it was reducing to. “No.” I said, my breath failing me. “I knew your sister.” The demon stated with a snicker, which developed into a chuckle, then an intense and hearty laugh. He wailed and howled in laughter even, he sounded insane. Such a disgusting sound it was to hear its voice in the darkness so pleased with itself. It confused and frustrated me in fear greatly, and it became so loud and went on for so long I couldn’t stand it. “Shut up!” I yelled finally. It stopped laughing immediately. “But you know Javier, you know me too.” It spoke very seriously. I stared in bewilderment. “You’re guilty! You’re guilty! You love murder! Haha! You love yourself! You stroke huh?” The demon spoke without relent and enjoyed his own hilarity. “What the fuck?” I said in a trembled whisper. “Yea, you hate clothes, you little pathetic bitch.” It cackled.
I was roused again with the most extreme and unimaginable anger. I yelled my defense at him. He grew in laughter. I screamed any kind of profanity and slur I could think of at his station, and he only grew in volume with me. This went on until I finally arrived at my king accusation, which was finally enough to have it stir, “You’re a failure of creation!” He was silent for a moment. “What is it you know of creation?” It spoke with such a terrible and tremendous tone. “Are you worth any more than me? You’re subject to death the same. I’m a connoisseur of freedoms, yet, what are you? You are a slave of fear, scared of your own desires. And, even more so, subject to me.. As much as a mouse loses its life to the metal spring when it grabs cheese, so do you spoil by me.” “You speak nonsense!” I retorted “You’re very stupid, it’s difficult for you to grasp.”
Then, without much more deliberation, it simply began roaring with the most horrific and inhumane noises. It began screeching—it screeched with blood curdling yells and sorrow. It screamed as if it was lit on fire. At once, in the shadows, it began clawing at its own face. I heard sounds of ripping and tearing—with noises as if pounds of deli meat were slammed onto the cutting board. This was accompanied by an intense and putrid smell of rot, and I began weeping. This experience was more than I could bare, and I couldn’t describe to u what was unnaturally filled in my mind. This night felt as if i was never going to escape the moment, like the present moment was my eternity. This sight annoyed me to my soul for what seemed like hours, and I even conjectured to myself that this torture was eternal.
But soon, he did indeed cease. A gentle glow of orange illuminated the end of my bed. He stood before me, tall and with elegance in the light. He was skinned, his jaw dislocated, his face scratched bare and raw so that no features were pertruding. He was completely nude, with hooves and fur patches among his disfigured appearances. He wore this boldly with shame, yet, overcame it with overwhelming pride.
Such beauty it was to admire his stature. I could not help but gaze with wonder and pleasure. I must have admired him for a while, perhaps even hours. I became mad with lust for him, such a delicious sight he was! I should give up my other fruitless endeavors of life if I could just have the delight to taste him.
But just as I settled on my prospective bliss, my roommate entered the room. His yell of terror attacked my ears, interrupting us. Why scream? Why that hideous look on his face? What was he so scared of? What possessed him to be worthy of beholding any sort of indignation upon my beautiful companion? A little worm—that ugly little leech that dared breath the same air as us. “Get rid of it.” The demon told me, but I hardly needed a command to conceive of my goal.
Oh, what fun I had! It was like the first fresh sip of lemonade on a summer day! Like the sunshine that seeps through window seals—like the birds chirping in the dewy mornings. Like the adrenaline of a rollercoaster—the tickle of a drop. Like the intoxication that gives you belief of so much confidence. And to feel it on my hands? It was the joy of a child when he smashes his fingers into the moist sand—that innocent satisfaction of destroying a castle. Like the excitement of opening your favorite bag of chips—grabbing the ends and pulling the plastic with might until bursts open with goodies; yes, that’s what it was like for me to stick my thumbs deep into his eye sockets, and pull to open—if only I could. It was such, as when I bit down on his throat with all my might and sipped. It was indeed so, when I scratched and clawed till my nails came off, opening his chest and pulling at ribs like discarded hot wings, ripping at organs and intestines, pulling of nails, bending fingers two loops around, snapping his arms, smashing his head with my foot—but again my happiness was destroyed. For my companion had fled the scene, and he was no longer present. At once, I recovered some coherence and realized the tragedy of what I had done. How would I hide this? How could I discard of blood evidence all over me? How was he going to chip in on rent in this condition? I obviously had not calculated all the required considerations before doing such a thing. I was enraged by the black magic possessed by the demon, stupid, tricky, evil thing. So you see, it was his fault.

I recently got fitted in Nikolay 3007s, 4 xxx with a medium shank. I went to a fitter I trust (Victoria is her name I think, at The Leotard in Portland) who has a lot of experience doing fittings. She agreed that these shoes supported me well. My other shoes, Bloch Axiom 4.5 xx, caused me to metatarsal a lot. I showed my Nikolays to my ballet teacher today and she thinks they’re way too small and “will give me bunions”. She’s been teaching for over 50 years and usually has a lot of solid advice, so I want to trust what she says.
When I first got my Blochs, she “tested” them by sticking her index and middle finger under the vamp (kind of aggressively if I do say so myself). She tried this again with the Nikolays, and she concurred that they’re too small because she couldn’t fit her fingers in. I agree that they feel smaller than my other shoes… but with the other shoes, I have to add layers of lambs wool and paper towels for my feet to properly fit because they compress a lot.
Should I try to size up or get refitted for my Nikolay shoes? I got them off of ebay in the same size I was fitted in because I couldn’t afford the full price.. I’m not sure if I could return or resell them, but I don’t want to dance in a way that damages my feet. What should I do?

I currently (40M) had my ex (35F) completely destroy our relationship while I was working out of town for a few months. This happened a year ago and wish I had these stories as a resource while going through it. I have just started to use Reddit and been reading the experiences of others here and have decided to share my story in hopes it will maybe help others. That way some good may come from some of the worst times of my life.
A little backstory for context for the story and insight to some of the decisions I made. When I turned 30 I left the major city in my Province (it is like a state if you are an American) because buying just a simple house is over a million dollars and I don't make near enough to afford that. My goal was to move to somewhere more rural to buy a house, meet someone, get married and have a child or two. It was my only dream I had and believed I could attain it. I lived out in the bush on my step dads property in a run down trailer I bought so I could save money for the first 3 years. I had my dog but the loneliness of living in the middle of nowhere had got to me. By then I had saved a fair amount of money, so I decided to move into the town. It was nice, it cut my commute down by 40 minutes, I had started to make a few friends and no longer felt so isolated. It was through my friends I met my future ex. Let's call her Kali. She had a long term boyfriend when we first met. Their relationship ended a couple of years after meeting her and we started dating a few months after.
We mostly had a great relationship for the next 4 years. The only thing was it was on again off again. She would dump me after I did anything really special for her for a week and beg me to take her back. It was like clockwork. I used to think it was because of her depression and that she didn't believe she deserved to be truly happy. Nowadays I actually think she might have been cheating the whole time and just felt guilty about it when I did nice stuff for her but I will never know the truth. I don't care what the reality is anymore anyway, Time has a funny way of making stuff like that irrelevant. We did have one bigger break of about 5 months. When it happened I took time off work to travel in my RV the whole time. From spring to summer. I really didn't like the town I lived in and decided to use that time to check out the rest of my Provence to figure out where I wanted to restart my life. She was basically the only reason I stayed for so long. I did have a decent job and family close by but most people I met there were not good people. Lots of drug users, liars, and general scumbags. I had only a few real friends there. After I got back and had decided where I was going to move to she had decided she wanted me back. She begged me to stay and be with her. She told me that she wanted to get serious. We started making real progress about getting married, having kids and looking at buying a house. Everything was coming up Milhouse and I couldn't be happier. So You can probably guess this is when my tale becomes interesting for you and life got real bad for me.
My career is seasonal. I work from spring to the end of fall and can go on unemployment insurance or find work. My dad had asked if I could help on his farm breeding horses that winter when I had still planned to leave my town. I had promised him that I would because it would give me a place to stay before people in my field of work would be looking for employees. This had been agreed upon before me and Kali had got back together. Now I have always been a man of my word. It's something I take great pride in. I have always hated liars. I don't mind a little embellishment to make a story more fun or if two people's stories are different as long as they both believe that was how the events happened. Everyone remembers things slightly off. She was upset that I had intended to keep my word to my dad but I had every second weekend off. The town my dad is in was only a 2 hour drive. So I told her I would be back twice monthly for weekends and that it would only be for 4 months. For the first two months everything seemed fine. During this time I started to look at rings to pop the question and booked an expensive spa for two days in May to propose. There was only one weird thing that happened during the first two months. On one of my visits she confided in me that her brother's wife had cheated on him and that their newborn baby was most likely not his. I was shocked that she not only knew but didn't plan to tell him. She said she didn't want to tell him for fear of breaking up the family. I told her that he has the right to know and that she was being a bad sister by knowing and not telling him. I also informed her if he found out she knew and didn't say anything that he would most likely kick her out of his life. She made me swear I wouldn't tell him. Even though I thought it was wrong I did agree to not say anything. It did get me wondering how she could not only not tell him but stay friends with someone that could do that to her brother. I think that's when I started to question her morals. The third month she asked that I didn't come out because she was "sick". I told her I didn't care, I could still come out and take care of her. She convinced me that she didn't want me to come so I just worked on the farm instead. I switched weekends so I could come out the next instead of in two weekends. The weekend she was "sick" her phone was off the whole time, lasting into the week. She told me her phone went through the washing machine. She was actually on a bender but I didn't learn that till later.
So I head out the following weekend. As soon as I arrive I start getting super sketchy vibes. I was already weirded out about the stuff with her brother and ghosting me for 4 days as we talked/texted multiple times a day normally. At first she acts great to me, cooks me steak and we go out to the bush to have a fire in the snow. At the fire she really started drinking heavily. She then mentions a guy she had been hanging with lets call him Brad. So alarm bells start going through my head. We go back to her house and she keeps drinking. I wanted to keep a clear head so I only had three beers all evening. She put her phone down unlocked because of how drunk she was and I took it to the bathroom with me to look up texts between them. I felt so guilty for doing it at first but once I see the text between the two of them the guilt is replaced with rage. I go to her room to confront her and she breaks down. First, how dare I go through her phone, this never would have happened if I would have broken my promise to my dad, nothing really happened between them, blah, blah, blah. I was furious and drove off. She blows up my phone the whole time. I don't answer. Ten minutes after I left her mother called me. She lives at her moms house. I took the call and her mom said she is freaking out and has harmed herself. I decide to go back and she has a bandage wrapped around her arm. Her mom hid all the sharp objects she could find. She was having a full on panic attack and begs me to not leave. I told her I would stay if she told me the truth. She admits to hooking up with him one time just that last weekend when she asked me not to come out. It kind of matches the messages and I believe her. I stay there till she falls asleep. Once she does I send Brad a text saying that she has a boyfriend with some screen shots of our conversations me and her have had that week. I was about to drive back to the farm when the dude called her phone. I pick up the call and tell him I am her boyfriend. He asks if that was a joke and I assure him it is not. He said he didn't know and actually apologized. I tell him that I'm pissed but if he didn't know I couldn't blame him. I should have asked him more questions but I was tired, not thinking straight and just wanted to go back to the Farm even though it was two am by this point. I get home and crash. Turned my ringer off because I know once she wakes up she will start calling like crazy. After getting the horses in for the night I decided to look at my phone for the first time all day. Around thirty missed calls and a ton of texts. I decide I need another day before I talk to her. Now while the whole day all I can think about is that it was just one time, she seems to be genuinely remorseful about it, how I'm 39 and really want children before I get too old. I took a call from her the next day on Sunday in the morning. She is still wasted. She hadn't stopped drinking since I was there Friday. We talk and I tell her that I am really upset but am willing to give us another chance. I still was in love with her and wanted to have kids, get married and buy a house with her. It was the dream I felt I worked so hard for. She was so happy I took her back and swore to me nothing like this would ever happen again. Basically I was a fool lol.
So I decided on my next set of days off to borrow my stepdads summer home on the river so we can have the place to ourselves. I grab food that she loves so I can cook her dinner and try to make it very romantic. I want to rekindle my love with her so I wanted to go all out on an amazing weekend. I pick her up and she is already a little drunk. I kind of wanted to hang sober but I don't wanna mess up with her so don't say anything thinking we can do a sober day when I take her out to go shopping and dinner the next day. When we get there she gets hammered. Kali had brought a big of bottle fireball on top of a bunch of white claws. I again didn't really drink that night. Once she was drunk and tired I carried her to the bed. As Kali is in my arms she looks up at me and says in slurred words "I don't know why you even felt threatened by Joe" I ask "what did you just say?". "I don't know why you even felt threatened by Brad" she replied. I put her to bed and my mind starts racing. Now her ex before me has a really close name to the one she said first but I also know she has a friend named Joe I only met a couple of times. They were not close or even hung out but were more like acquaintances. I go in her purse to look at her phone again but the battery is dead and I can't find her charger. I have an Iphone so I can't charge it up to look. I didn't sleep that well that night with everything going on in my head. I woke up at 6 am to her being very loud on the phone. I went out to the living room and she had drank all the booze left over from the night before. I ask her who she was on the phone with and she tells me an uber to leave. I ask why is she going to leave? Kali tells me she is upset that I tried to get into her phone. Guess I didn't put it back in her purse. Must have been out of sorts and forgot. I tell her I can drive her once I go to the washroom and get some clothes on. I go to do that, come out of the washroom to see Kali has already left. She was so drunk that she had left half her stuff behind. I decided to have breakfast before bringing her stuff to her house. After breakfast I packed her stuff into my SUV and noticed it had snowed that night. I could see her footprints out into the driveway. While Dropping off her stuff I noticed there were no footprints leading to her house, so I tried calling Kali. No answer. I left her stuff in the snow and decided to drive by her brothers and sisters house to see if there were footprints going into any of their houses but there were none. I sent her a nasty text about knowing she didn't go home, to go be with Brad or Joe or whoever and never call me again. It was a lot more profane than that but that's the gist of it. Cleaned up the house my stepdad lent me and back off to the farm yet again. The next day she blows up my phone and again I wait another day to talk to her. She tells me that she went home but I know that can't be true from the snow, but she says I must have been mistaken. She apologizes for getting drunk and leavening and that she is going to stop drinking after her birthday in two weeks. She has rented a hotel in the town I'm in for her birthday and wants to spend it with me. I agree just because I have to know the truth and want to look at her phone to make sure I am not crazy. She had gaslit me to the point I was questioning what I saw with my own eyes. A couple of days later I decided to send Joe a message on Facebook to see if he would give me the truth. I get a text from her telling me not to bug her friend and that she is embarrassed. I apologize and tell her I am excited about her birthday soon.
The weekend of her birthday comes so I go to meet her at the hotel. She brought her sister and other friend along. It actually is a really fun time. The girls did coke the first night into the second evening. I don't really like it but I figured she can let loose especially if she is going to stop drinking after her birthday. I also knew by Saturday night that they would all crash hard so it would give me time to look at her phone so I could know the truth. As I mentioned the weekend was really fun so I felt bad about going into her phone yet again. I did it anyway and my whole world came crashing down. Now I figured that I would maybe see Brad or Joe texts and Facebook messages. Seemed like Brad was done but Joe and her were totally hooking up. I also found out that she had slept with 3 other guys. I also saw she was using coke all the time now. She did it maybe three times a year when we dated but now it was every weekend. It looked like she started using regularly right before I left for the farm. Joe helped get it for her too, out of all the guys he was the one she hung with the most. Turns out he was also a meth head who was trying to quit for her. She also went to his house the morning she left the other weekend to hook up and buy coke. I was floored. I just staired and took screen shots till the early morning. I decided I wasn't just going to dump her but I wanted to ruin her life not realizing she was already doing that all by herself but hindsight is 20 20. So I started coming up with a plan of what I was going to do. I woke up the next morning and acted like everything was fine and went back to the farm. I was still so upset and didn't want to harm myself or others so had a family friend take my firearms for a while. I don't think I would have used them on myself or others but I knew I wasn't thinking clearly and didn't want them in my house while I was like that.
I didn't have to see her till I moved back because the next set I had off I had tickets for a concert in the city I used to live in. During that time all I thought about was how I was going to do something to ruin her life. I came up with some small things but my main plan was to pretend like we were fine and ghost her when my contract was up with my boss next winter. I had promised him another year after kali and I had gotten back together. Just typing it out makes me look back and cringe that I was so crazy. When I went to the city for the concert I told my best friend, my brother and a few others my plan. No one liked it and thought I should just go no contact, cut her straight out of my life. That probably was the smart thing to do but emotion was clouding my judgement. Also you all would get this story. They even informed me that because I would be lying to her, that I would be compromising my morals and turning into a worse person they didn't recognize. I either didn't see it that way or care. I have a hard time recalling what my brain was thinking during that time. All seems like a haze now that it's been a year. I think I was really upset that my dream and all I had worked for was ruined. A friend later said I may have been in love with the dream and not her. Maybe that's the reason I kept up all this insanity.
My time on the farm had come to an end and I was moving back to the town me and my ex lived in. I was set with my plan, excited to implement it and have what I considered just. But you know what they say of the best laid plans. My ex wanted to go to hang at her brothers as a welcome home party. I went but ended up drinking. Heavily drinking, to the point of black out. I don't remember much from that night but have had it recounted for me. I woke up in the drunk tank. Guess I couldn't lie and play it cool then huh? The story I was told later is, while at her brothers I had gotten drunk and loud. Kept waking up the new baby and we were asked to leave. So we caught a cab and I confronted her in the cab but all I could do was call her a lying, cheating, whore on repeat. She got upset and ran into the house locking me out. I had a bunch of my stuff in her house so I went to the door and demanded she let me in. All the while still only referring to her as the aforementioned 3 words. She told me to leave but my jacket and wallet were inside. It was below freezing at night still and probably wouldn't have made it home in the state I was in. I then kicked in her door to keep calling her LCW and grab my stuff. She was on the phone to the police, so I was taken away by them. One of the lowest points in my life. It still brings me so much shame to this day but it is what happened and I am not going to sugar coat it. I never laid a finger on her and I am so happy that I hadn't. Laying hands on women in that way is one of the scummiest things a man can do. I had to go back to her house once they let me out because my stuff was still there. I apologized to her mom who had been at her boyfriends that evening promising to repair the door for her. Kali begged me to talk to her and like an idiot I didn't just leave. I told her I saw everything and she only admitted to Brad and Joe. Lying about them and the others the whole time. Even when I brought up the screen shots she still couldn't come clean. I left just shaking my head. There is still a ton to this story but this is long enough. I could do a part 2 if there is interest. Catching you folks up to where I am now and the messed up things that happened in between.