For a little back story, I met my wife 5 years ago. I’ve always been a very sexual person and at first she seemed to be the same. We had sex quite often and did you know that melatonin deactivates birth control? Anyways we had a kid and got married. Even before she got pregnant our sex life had began to slow down and now it’s basically non existent. I started feeling emasculated after I noticed that she had never initiated sex I started to hint to her by sending TikTok’s about how it’s nice for a guy when his woman initiates sexy time and when I asked her if she watched it she laughed about it. Before the wedding we had some troubles and I suggested that we write a list of what we need from each other to be happy. I shit you not, this woman spent 3 pages tearing apart my worst insecurities. My weight, my sexual endurance, and much more that I can’t quite remember. My list consisted of my emotional needs and my sexual needs and how I felt about her never initiating and the effects it’s having on me. On our wedding night I promised myself I wouldn’t initiate and that was the only time she’s ever initiated in 5 years.
I say all that to get to the point that my mental state has taken a dive and it’s affecting my work and motivation to be better. It might all be in my head but I feel like I’m not enough for her in bed and that’s why she never initiates. Another important note is that fully bricked up I might be 4 1/2”-5”. Not the best but I’ve bought a sleeve that adds length and a lot of girth in hopes that she would want more sex but it didn’t.
Now to my resolve. I need to get my confidence back and I need to feel like a man again. In some reflection I realized when I was having more sex I felt I could conquer the world and if I can’t please her then we need to find a “friend” who can. I’d prefer it be another woman to bring in at first until I feel like a man again and then, once my mental state is back to normal, if she wants, maybe a guy “friend”, or even another couple, can join us.
I don’t want it to seem like I want to cheat on her or just sleep with someone else because that is truly not my goal. I just simply can not take the constant self doubt anymore. And honestly the thought of something new intrigues me.
I know this post is all over the place but that’s how my mind has been. If you read all of it then thank you and I would love to hear any positive feedback. Please don’t attack me and tell me I’m a bad guy for wanting to be happy.

My god, I'm so sorry this is going to be long...but I have to get this out and I have no one else to rant to except myself, so here I am...
TL;DR 1: Theyre expensive for no reason, stressful for no reason, and honestly I just think they're not worth the time...
I love my fiancee to death, but all I wanted to do was go to a courthouse, sign some documents and be married to this absolute beautiful soul that has graced my life. Then maybe take a month off and go somewhere special out of state that we've always dreamed of (Greece is a huge one! Lol), take a cruise somewhere with the money we've saved, or pay off some credit card/student debts..Hell, or even put down a down payment for a house we've always wanted/talked about, get a couple dogs/chickens we've wanted and just... bask in our life together.
But here we are spending 20+ thousand dollars and countless hours testing different fake flowers, trying to find outfits for the groomsman that fit the color palette (men's warehouse fucking SUCKS compared to getting exact colors at the womens bridal place!), frustrated, crying, figuring out how we want to set up the table decorations, aisle decorations, figuring out what to give as gifts to an event that we're fully paying for, what music to play, people aren't rsvping in a timely manner, hotels, venues, caterers, music, food, transportation, alcohol, day of planners, hair, makeup, etc, etc, ETCETCETCETCETCETCETCETC..
All for family that we hardly talk to on a regular, that we prob will continue not talk to on regular after all is said and done and alot of which don't even get along so seating arrangements are annoying to do. The next few months honestly can't come soon enough so all this can just be behind us and we can move on with our lives.
I want to be married to her, I want to hold her, I want to take her last name, I want to spend my life with her... I don't want a wedding, I don't want to go thru this wedding planning, I don't want to needlessly throw money away like this for a single night to appease the eyes of others, cause honestly that's all weddings feel like to me.
I'm not a fan of being the center of attention in any situation and just the thought of it makes me anxious having to do so for 6+ hours. Not to mention, our wedding party is spending their own hard earned money to fund our Bachelorette party and I feel AWFUL about it. I love and appreciate our friends for going out of their way but we're all in our early 30s now, life is basically established for everyone, everyone has things to do, jobs to work, some have children to take care of, some are in the army, life is so hard, I feel so bad...
My future wife (♡) is so precious to me, this is something she REALLY wants and dammit ill deliver lol, I never wanted to say no, I just wanted a happy compromise... she's been thru so much and denied so much in life I want to give her this, shes so sweet and caring of myself and others, always puts others before herself, truly a selfless soul...but wow...is this wearing us down...
Like I said, I don't really have anyone to rant this out to, everyone is so happy for us I'd feel horrible tearing this event down complaining to someone... We'll be married a literal day before our 8th anniversary and I can't wait for us to fully and completely call each other 'Wife' :)
TL;DR 2: I just don't like weddings.

My lists are always being updated and expanded when new information comes in—what did I miss or am I unaware of (even if the thread predates my membership in Reddit), and what needs correction? Even (especially) if I get a subreddit or date wrong. That also includes new lists that you think I should create. (Note that, other than the quotation marks, the thread titles are "sic". I only change the quotation marks to match the standard usage (double to single, etc.) when I add my own quotation marks around the threads' titles.)
The lists are in absolute ascending chronological order by the posting date, and if need be the time of the initial post, down to the minute (or second, if required—there are several examples of this). The dates are in DD MMMM YYYY format per personal preference, and times are in US Eastern Time ("ET") since that's how they appear to me, and I'm not going to go to the trouble of converting to another time zone. They are also in twenty-four hour format, as that's what I prefer, and it saves the trouble and confusion of a.m. and p.m. Where the same user posts the same request to different subreddits, I note the user's name in order to indicate that I am aware of the duplication.
I compile my lists manually, from what shows up in my feed. I choose what interests me (thus the low incidence of romance—I'm not a fan of the literary genre, though I'm fine with the theme, and like romantic movies—and of pure horror, and the preponderance of science fiction/fantasy lists, as well as the large portion of nonfiction), and questions that are asked repeatedly.
Thread lengths: longish (50–99 posts)/long (100–199 posts)/very long (200–299 posts)/extremely long (300–399 posts)/huge (400+ posts) (though not all threads are this strictly classified, especially ones before mid?-2023, though I am updating shorter lists as I repost them); they are in lower case to prevent their confusion with the name "Long" and are the first notation after a thread's information.
booklists, the sub that hosted my lists, went private on or before Sunday 29 October 2023, so all of my lists at the time were blocked, though I have another home for them. That's the sub Recommend_A_Book (with one or two exceptions).
:::
Recurring Reddit Topics (alphabetized with one exception)

• Reddit: A How-to Guide thread (the title is currently a little grandiose for the present contents).
• The American Health Care System list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• African Hair(care) list of resources and discussion threads (one post).
• Filing Income Taxes in the United States list of Reddit resources, discussion threads, and references (one post).
• For New Owners of Cats list of resources and Reddit recommendation threads.
• [Incest] (not yet posted)
• Learning English list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• List of Writing Advice Subreddits (not yet posted in a central place)
• News & Fact Checking—see my post in "Where do I find true info about the Ukraine conflict?" (NoStupidQuestions; 18 April 2022)
• Pizza Delivery Advice list of resources and Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Sex and Relationships list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (four posts).
• Tipping in the United States list of resources/references and Reddit discussion threads (one post).
• Toilets: International Differences and Other Matters list of resources, discussion threads, and references (one post).
• [Weddings] (not yet posted; controversies)
• Women's Pants and Pockets list of resources and discussion threads (one post).
• Worsening Search Results of Google list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).

Books

• Audiobooks list of recommendation threads (one post).

Nonfiction

• General Nonfiction list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (four posts).
• (Auto)biographies list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• Communism list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• Crime (Nonfiction) list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (one post).
• Cults list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• Diversity Nonfiction list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• History (General) list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• The Holocaust list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• How-to list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• Information Technology list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• LBGTQ+ Nonfiction list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• [Leadership/Management] (not yet posted; see also the Self-help Nonfiction list)
• Medicine/Biology/For Medical Students list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• Narrative Nonfiction ("Reads Like a Novel") list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• Native American History and Culture list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Philosophy list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Psychology list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Science (General) list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Self-help Nonfiction list of resources and Reddit recommendation threads (seven posts).
• [South Asian Indians] (not yet posted)
• The Space Race list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).

Fiction

• General Fiction list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (nineteen posts).
• Anthropomorphic Animals list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Antiheroes and Villains list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (one post).
• Apocalyptic/Post-apocalyptic list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (three posts).
• Beautiful Prose/Writing (in Fiction) list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Books to Read in Your 20s list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Circuses & Carnivals list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (one post).
• Classics (Literature) list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Compelling Reads ("Can't Put Down") list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Convents/Monasteries/Religious Houses and Orders list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (one post).
• Death Games/Hunting Humans Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Diversity Fiction list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Dragons list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Dystopias list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Emotionally Devastating/Rending list of Reddit recommendation threads, and books (four posts).
• Feel-good/Happy/Upbeat list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Female Characters, Strong list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Female Rage list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Historical Fiction list of resources and Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Humor list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• Japanese Literature list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• Knights/King Arthur list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (one post). Includes paladins.
• LBGTQ+ Fiction list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post). All genres.
• Life Changing/Changed Your Life list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Mysteries list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (two posts).
• Mythology/Folklore/Specific Cultures list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• Obscure/Overlooked/Underappreciated/Unknown/Underrated General Fiction list of Reddit recommendation threads books (one post).
• Philosophical Fiction list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• Pirates list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Poetry list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• Readers 1: For Children Who Want to Start Reading list (one post).
• Readers 2: Here are the the resources and threads I have about books for adolescents/adults who want to start reading ("Get me reading again/I've never read") list (eight posts).
• Romance (not yet posted; very short)
• Romany/Travellers (not yet posted; very short)
• Science Fiction/Fantasy (General) Recommendations list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (thirty-five posts (eventually, again).).
  • N.B.: The category is alphabetized under "Science Fiction/Fantasy", and the lists within it are alphabetized with that as a prefix, even when the prefix is not used (e.g., Hard SF).
• SF/F and ___ list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• SF/F: Afterlife (Heaven, Hell, Valhalla, etc.) list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (one post).
• SF/F: Alien Aliens list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (one post). (Includes Just "Aliens" and Other Stuff.)
• SF/F: Alternate History list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, authors, and books (one post).
• SF/F: Artificial Intelligence list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (one post).
• SF/F Artists list of links (one post).
• SF/F Badasses list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (one post).
• [SF/F: Body Sharing (Multiple Entities)] (draft; not yet posted]
• SF/F: Business list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (one post).
• SF/F: Character Driven list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• SF/F: Colonization list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• SF/F Comics (not yet posted)
• SF/F: Cyberpunk list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• SF/F: Cyberpunk list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• SF/F: Deserts list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• SF/F: Detectives and Law Enforcement list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (one post).
• SF/F: Epics/Sagas (Long Series) list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• SF/F: Erotica list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• SF/F: Exploration list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (one post).
• SF/F: Fantasy *and* SF list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• SF/F: Fungi/Mushrooms list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• SF/F: Games list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (one post).
• SF/F: Generation Ships list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Hard SF list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• SF/F Humor list of resources and Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• SF/F: Immortals and Methuselahs list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• SF/F: Languages list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• SF/F: Magic list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (one post).
• SF/F: Marine/Oceans/Water list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• SF/F: Medical list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (one post).
• SF/F: Monster Hunting/Ghost Busting list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• SF/F: Non-human Protagonists/Main Characters list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• SF/F: Obscure/Underappreciated/Unknown/Underrated list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• SF/F: Organized Crime list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• SF/F, Philosophical list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (one post).
• SF/F: Politics list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (one post).
• SF/F: Powered Armor list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• SF/F: Psionics list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• SF/F: Religion list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (one post).
• SF/F with Romance list of resources and Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• SF/F: Schools and Education list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (one post).
• SF/F: Space Opera list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• SF/F and Spies list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• SF/F: Steampunk list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• SF/F: Supernatural Creatures (Miscellaneous) list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• SF/F: Terraforming list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• SF/F: Time Travel list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (one post).
• Urban Fantasy list of resources and Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• SF/F: Utopias list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• SF/F: Weapons (Swords, Etc.) list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• SF/F Westerns list of resources and Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• SF/F World-building list of resources and Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Seasons/WeatheClimate list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (one post).
• Self-help Fiction list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (one post).
• Spies/Espionage (Genre) list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• Stephen King: What Book Do I Start With? list of resources and Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Survival (Mixed Fiction and Nonfiction) list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Thrillers list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).
• Unreliable Narrators list. A stalled work in progress.
• Vampires list of Reddit recommendation threads and books (one post).
• Were-_s/Lycanthropes list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• Westerns list of resources, Reddit recommendation threads, and books (one post).
• Zombies list of Reddit recommendation threads (one post).

Anime
If you are looking for something to watch, use the What to Watch? flair search first

• "Obscure/Underappreciated/Unknown/Underrated Anime Recommendations (List)" of Reddit recommendation threads (two posts).

It is normal to use Power BI as a 'dashboard'. However, my assignment is to use Power BI with data source is nothing but text. The data here is just an example that I made up while typing this.
Each teacher will have an update per class. They update things like: chapters that we have studied, chapters being explained, students engagement and highlight on problems. As you can imagine: english teacher writes nicely and clearly, Maths teacher write too short but can't understand, science teachers is in between (depend on her mood) and don't get me started on art teacher (like writing a book).
They update this on their own excel file. I upload and combine them into table format. The principle can select the class level and will be able to see all updates per subjects (english, maths, science, arts) on 4 columns (what's studied, current study, engagement level, problems).
There is a max I can do to beautify the table. But the number of columns, the text after text after text - simply means I can get different user experience on different day of the week.
Other visualization:

• matrix - not good.
• cards - too many cards to do. besides, level 1 have 4 subjects, level 5 may have 6 subjects. The number of cards can vary depending on filter
• customs visualization - i search for "text", but they're not made for this.

Any brilliant ideas guys? Otherwise, my 'sexy table' is the max I can do

So I was looking for a job, Found a person advertising a customer service agent job on Facebook. This person referred me to a Telegram Chat of the Restaurant that has the job opening. A basic af Q&A was conducted, HR Person asked me to write 5 apology emails on their behalf and send it via a newly created email ID. I did that. Then he said for some "special customers" they want to compensate by buying Apple Gift cards, 5 of them and $100 each. Said they'll send me the money and I'll have to buy the cards. Emailed me a $500 cheque, I encashed it. Money is now in my account. I said I would need a letter of authorisation/ Appointment letter to use these funds, now he started panicking and msgs started seeming very bot-like. Refuses to send the letter, the Email used by him also is a typo-filled name of the Restaurant. Now he's asked me to eTransfer the money to a "supplier" who can buy the gift cards, but I'm sort of leading him on for the day. Told him I can mail the money by cheque to the actual Restaurant owners, he's denying it profusely. What do I do? Should I keep the money or return it? Has anyone dealt with this sort of scam where you get the money first??
P.S. Chat is on Telegram so can be deleted forever for both parties. And he only has my Full name and email address. Thats it.

So I was looking for a job, Found a person advertising a customer service agent job on Facebook. This person referred me to a Telegram Chat of the Restaurant that has the job opening. A basic af Q&A was conducted, HR Person asked me to write 5 apology emails on their behalf and send it via a newly created email ID. I did that. Then he said for some “special customers” they want to compensate by buying Apple Gift cards, 5 of them and $100 each. Said they’ll send me the money and I’ll have to buy the cards. Emailed me a $500 cheque, I encashed it. Money is now in my account. I said I would need a letter of authorisation/Appointment letter to use these funds, now he started panicking and msgs started seeming very bot-like. Refuses to send the letter, the Email used by him also is a typo-filled name of the Restaurant. Now he’s asked me to eTransfer the money to a “supplier” who can buy the gift cards, but I’m sort of leading him on for the day. Told him I can mail the money by cheque to the actual Restaurant owners, he’s denying it profusely. What do I do? Should I keep the money or return it?
P.S. Chat is on Telegram so can be deleted forever for both parties. And he only has my Full name and email address. Thats it.

I dont know if I'm trying to look for answers or just trying to rant but here it goes.
For context, I live in Ontario (Canada).
These past couple of months have been really hard for my brother (34) and I (36). Two months ago, my dad (63) had a hemmoragic stroke. The first few weeks were scary as he couldnt talk and his whole right side was paralyzed. Since then, he has been recovering quite quickly with rehab and is now able to speak ( albeit with difficulties word finding and short term memory issues) and has some mobility on his right leg and arm but still extremely weak that he cannot do much with them. Since then, we have been taking care of our mom who suffers from psychosis, bipolar , depression and diabetes for the past 5 years or so and dad was the one always taking care of her. We are really scared on what the future entails now that this will likely be our new normal. POA for Property and Health is in place and brother and I are now officially appointed.
With our dad still going through rehabilitation, my brother and I have been attending to our mom's needs and their finances, however , it has been a constant struggle. She is extremely needy and cries the freaking blues when there is any kind of inconvenience (most of it caused by her ) such as the fridge going out (she buys an egrigious amount of groceries that she will never finish), the sink garbage dispenser being clogged ( she puts EVERYTHING in it ) and broke it more than once, and now we are getting a text from her that her toilet and shower is clogged (even though we told her she has more than one toilet and shower she can use in the interim). All she cares about is money and that she needs to buy things (her disability pension from her work is quite good, but she spends like it grows on trees and we had to limit her credit card usage and take her debit card away and making sure their bills are paid). We are thinking this is probably a high risk for dementia. Everything seems to be breaking with her being alone ( brother and I have our own place and both live in the same city as our parents)
I dont know what to do and its only been two freaking months of this and im already at my wits end. She CANNOT take care of herself (ironically , she knows to take her diabetic medications consistently) but refuses any other appointsments to help with her mental issues. We are scared that once dad is discharged from the hospital that their living arrangements will need to be changed and seperate, as there is no way mom will have the capacity ,both physically and mentally, to take care of dad (for f*** sake, she didnt even stay 1 hour at the hospital with dad when he first got admitted for his stroke because she said she was tired). Im extremely exhausted as I have my own issues with taking care of my business ,which is not doing so hot, and now helping take care of my dad's business ( we are both in the hospitality industry) but his is very profitable. All my family members tell me to make sure to take care of myself in order for us to take care of our parents. But how the heck can I when I'm being pulled left , right and center in everything. I barely have time for myself personally. My brother is doing as much as he can as well and I am lucky that we have a pretty good relationship and see eye to eye on a lot of things. I feel like at some point I'm going to spiral. Am I complaining too much? am I just weak?
Again , i dont know why im writing this. Maybe looking for others who have had similiar situations. I just want this nightmare to end.

I am still not the Original Poster. That is still u/MajorArtist340. She posted in AITAH
Previous BORUs can be found here and here. New Update marked with ****\*
Mood Spoiler: still kind of a bummer but things are moving forward
Original Post: December 21, 2023
For a while now my husband, John, has been getting more and more angry over little things and generally moody and distant. I had finally had enough and approached him about separation.
This conversation led to a big blow out and him revealing the state of his finances. My husband and I have always kept our finances separate. Also although we call each other husband and wife and had a wedding we are not actually legally married. This was primarily for inheritance purposes because we each have older children from previous relationships.
Anyway John revealed that he had basically no savings left. That all the money he had saved for retirement and for his kids schooling was gone. Furthermore he said it was all my fault since he used all his savings up to try and keep up with my lifestyle.
There was never anything crazy in terms of bills or anything like that and we always split it all equally. The house we live in I own outright as well, so there wasn’t a mortgage payment.
However I have always liked to travel a lot on fairly extravagant vacations. I would invite John or John and his children to join on trips, but never made them feel like they had to come. That’s said he was expected to pay for himself and for his kids. Except for recently he accepted every invitation.
I would also give my kids things he considered “extravagant”, but I considered “normal”. So he felt like he had to give similar things to his own kids.
John said with all the spending to keep up his savings dwindled very fast. I expressed that I couldn’t understand how or why he would spend all he had when he knew he couldn’t afford it. He said it was like keeping up with the Joneses only worse because it was at home so he couldn’t block it out. John thinks since I knew his job I should have had a basic understanding of his finances and realizes this wasn’t a lifestyle he could maintain. That the kind thing would have been to offer to pay for the trips and other things instead of dangle them in front of his and his kids faces.
Looking back I probably could have realized that this spending didn’t make sense for his salary, but I wasn’t thinking about it. I don’t think it was my responsibility to keep his finances in mind here. We had agreed from the beginning to keep our finances separate so to me that means paying for things separately.
Edit. We do not live in a state with common law marriage
Relevant Comments:
Why not get married? You know you can make children beneficiaries in wills, right?
"Here spouses are included in inheritance even if they’re omitted from wills and I plan on leaving everything to my kids."
Ages:
"I’m 44. He’s 53. We don’t have any children together."
So you didn't discuss trips you could afford together??
"We did discuss the trips and I asked for input about where to stay what we would do, but he never gave any or had any suggestions. I always assumed he just didn’t like planning things. I would have likely still gone on the trips if he didn’t want to."
So if he said no would you just go on the trip on your own?
"I would have likely still gone one the trip. That’s said I would have been open to less expensive trips had he brought it up."
"Except for the past two trips he never declined. I didn’t go alone though. I went on one with some friends and the other with my daughter."
This comment exchange:
Commenter: ESH- John should have ended your marriage way earlier. He can't keep with your lifestyle and would horrible and Very unfair to subject his children in a life where half of the family goes on fancy vacations regurlaly and the other stay home. He should have been honest way earlier before his savings drained and ended the marriage. You should have more awareness of your partner's struggled. How do you share a life with someone and don't realize this things?
OOP: He paid for things without any hint that he was struggling. I assume his attitude change was when things started to get really bad and I did ask what was wrong, but he would just say things were fine or say he was upset about some little thing like the dishes not being put away.
Before you were together, how often were you taking trips with your kids?
"I’ve always done about the same amount of trips every year. Usually two with my kids.
His kids mostly live with their mom and mine will split time between me and their dad pretty equally. My eldest is in college now though."
And this exchange:
Commenter: I have a burning question. Did you ever ask him why he was acting that way before you decided it was time for separation. Because from the outside you come off as the female stereotype that men don't have emotions so there's no need to check
OOP: I did. He would always say it was fine or I would ask what’s wrong and he would get mad about the dishes not being put away or some other little thing.
If you enjoy having him with you maybe you could pay for him to go?
"If things were better I might consider it, but at this point I’m really not enjoying being around him anymore. I’m going to use this break to take some time to reevaluate things."
It sounds like you don't love him at all. Why were you with him? Were you really together or just roommates with benefits? Why wouldn't you leave him anything in the will? How do you split daily life?
"With how things are now it’s hard to talk in present tense. I loved him.
For me it just feels like it would be wrong for my money and assets to go to anyone other than my kids given. For him well I don’t really need any inheritance, so it just makes the most sense for it to have gone to his children.
For restaurants we’ve always just taken turns paying."
There is no consensus bot on AITAH. The top comment was NTA, but there were quite a few ESH and info votes because the situation seemed weird
Update Post: January 8, 2024 (18 days later)
After reading all the comments on my first post I realized I needed more time to think about things. I also thought with the situation how it was it would be best that we spend the holidays apart to avoid and controversy. He wasn't a fan of the idea, but I eventually got him to agree to go.
Last week things settled down so we met up to have a more detailed discussion about the state of his finances. A few more things were revealed. I found out that he had lost his job earlier this year and didn't tell me. He got a new job in October, but he went over 4 months without one while pretending he still had one. During that time he only got a small amount of money from unemployment, so he started putting everything on his credit cards. His new job doesn't pay as much as his old one so he hasn't been able to pay more than the minimum towards his debts which are now substantial.
I feel like if he had just brought up all these issues earlier this could have been avoided or we could have worked something out. Now I really just feel like I can't trust him. I can't trust him with money and I can't trust him not to hide things from me. I just can't see going back and trying to make things work him at this point. Since he doesn't have a place to take all their things I've agreed to store their stuff in my garage until he gets more settled. Which means I won't be able to make as clean of a break as I would like right now, but for the most part it's over.
Update Post 2: February 24, 2024 (1.5 months later)
For anyone who hasn’t read my previous posts there’s two of them exposing what happened under my username.
I liked the suggestion I was given when last posted of paying for a storage unit for their things for a few months. My ex however did not agree to it. He said it would make things too difficult because the closest storage location was too far out of the way. It definitely felt like he was still trying to cling to things.
Since I couldn’t get a storage unit in his name without his approval I talked to a friend, who is a lawyer, about the situation. He helped me right up a notice that told him that he had 30 days notice to get their things or they will be disposed of. After 30 days notice was up he still had only picked up a few things.
I ended up calling his ex and asked her if she or their kids wanted anything before I got rid of it all. Well, they had been left in the complete dark about our relationship being over. My ex had been lying to them saying I was sick and then he was sick with Covid and that’s why they hadn’t been able to come over. I’m was not at all surprised this point. I figured she didn’t know about the rest of it either and told her. She is livid. Especially about the money for their kids education since it was part of their divorce agreement.
Anyway the kids all got what they wanted and I had a charity come and pick up the rest. It feels a lot better now that there is a completely clean break. Yes I have gotten the locks changed and blocked his number. Since there is no reason for me to have contact with him anymore this is probably the last time I’ll be posting.
I think I’m there future I will probably look for more transparency when it comes to financials in any serious future relationships. With how much he was lying I can only imagine what else he may have been lying about. Had I known more I don’t think he would have been able to hide things. I am just so grateful and relieved that I was able protect myself and my children.
Relevant Comments:
One more time because people need clarification on inheritance:
Where I live spouses are included in inheritance even if there’s a will.
How could you not know what he was making if you know what he did for work?
I just never looked into what the average salary for his type of work.
This exchange clearing things up:
Commenter: First post said you both have adult kids, why are their education an issue still and why doesn't anyone contact you directly? Was no one on friendly terms?

I don’t know where you got that. My eldest is an adult, but the others are still under 18.I don’t know what/who you mean by why doesn’t any contact me directly.

Commenter: What I mean is they were told you were sick. These are people that went trips with and none of them texted or called to check on you

I don’t know what to say. It doesn’t seem odd to me. We didn’t usually keep in contact when they were with their mom.

*****Update Post 3: May 8, 2024 (4.5 months from OG post)****\*
I know I said that that would be my last update. It’s not really necessary for me to make another, but now I’m kind of using this as a form of journaling which I’ve found cathartic. The previous posts are all under my username.
I only had one run in with my ex since the last incident. He came to my house. I only spoke to him through the camera. He asked about getting his things. I told him that I had already got rid of everything as I had warned him, but that his kids had taken some things. I also told him he needed to leave and to not come back. Surprisingly he didn’t make a big fuss about it. He just said okay and that he was sorry for bothering me before he left, but he did look very tired so maybe that’s why.
I have not seen him since and apparently his ex and his kids haven’t heard from him in all this time either. This update had more to do with them than my ex actually. His ex contacted me to ask about him. She wanted to know if I had heard from him or had his new contact information. His phone is apparently no longer in service. I told her how I hadn’t had any contact with his since the aforementioned visit.
She also asked if she and I could meet up for coffee and talk. I declined because honestly I couldn’t think of a reason for us to meet up. Though I did offer to pass on any info about him if I heard anything.
She apparently wanted to talk to me about helping her pay for her eldest child’s (who is now a senior in highschool) education next year. She also subtly implied there was some fault on my part for their lacks of funds. I rather cowardly told her I would think about it and ended the call.
To be honest I feel like it’s an unfair position she’s putting me in. The main reason being that her children don’t seem to care for me. We got along alright while I was with their dad. However since I ended things with him it has been complete silence from them. I did try to reach out to them to see if they were okay. They never responded. Even when they came over to get their things they ignored me and my youngest. However I did get a message after the call with their mom about how she missed me. The timing though just makes it seem sort of like manipulation to get money out of me.
Edit. I have since blocked all of them.

About Daily Draws
One of the best ways to practice Lenormand is to throw a daily spread. This can be any number of cards as you like, although it usually consists of three, five, or seven (an odd number) cards in a line. Start with a specific intention and question, such as, “What does the world have for me today?” Make sure you keep this timeline in mind when drawing your cards.
While it may sound daunting to practice every day, drawing cards in the morning is actually quite simple. For example, let’s say you draw three cards. Usually they are read from left to right, or maybe describe the day as a whole. The center card is your focus card, with the last card representing the outcome. Or, perhaps the first card represents the subject and the second and third cards describe it. Feel free to create your own method.
It’s very helpful to keep a journal and look back on your throws to see what worked out and what didn’t. What interpretations might you have missed?
This exercise helps you build a connection with your cards and come up with your own combinations. If you find something new, write down the combination in your Lenormand notebook.
Note that, when you throw a daily spread, the cards usually represent smaller elements of your life rather than bigger components. For example, the Clouds could simply mean a storm rather than, say, mental illness.
So, what did you guys come up with for today?

tl;tr what is my life (Leaving note at the top of my post cause post is too long lol) Note 1: Didn't expect for the post to be that long. I apologize for any grammatical errors or incoherences, don't have the energy to read proof everything, took me almost 4 hours to write.
Note 2: Before you guys suggest therapy. I do believe in mental health and always wanted to go see a therapist but you hear a lot of horror stories about therapists where I live. Like a friend of mine went to see one at one point and he literally told her "you are too dramatic and you are lying. There is no way you feel the way you say you do". Plus even if I manage to find a good one they are expensive as fuck.
Note 3: Moving out isn't a solution either at the moment cause can't afford it. Plus it is hard to find somewhere to rent as a fairly young bachelor in a conservative country plus if they do rent to young people the apartments are usually falling apart, they over charge and you would end up with like 7 other roommates in a 3 bedrooms apartment.
I don't really know where to start since it is 1 am where I live and I am exhausted. But yeah, basically I think that I might not be a good person? that I might be a bit of an asshole and also a loser? I am not sure.
The situation that I am facing right now is that I am 29, jobless, 5 years into my PhD that i wanted to quit for a while now, live with my mom and aunt (I live in a place when it is normal for someone to live with their parents or family in their 20s or 30s, people usually only move out if they either get married or their job isn't close to where their parents live). I am really unhappy with my life, with how I usually handle things and with how I turned out.
I graduated university at 23, got my first job as a phone repair technician few months after graduating, got pressured into doing a PhD but at the same time I was like "why not?". Wasn't a fan of my job anyway and I haven't heard from the couple of interviews I have been to. I was excited to start doing academic research actually, but as soon as I got accepted things started going downhill. Our lab director passed away before we got assigned out subjects and supervisors, then COVID lock down, my dad passed away from COVID, my supervisor retired and I got assigned a new one that is clueless, they wouldn't let me stay at the dorms during my third year cause "of the volume of new students they received that year" according to them, decided to teach a class during the first semester of last year so I would have to stay close to our lab that entire time. I didn't make much progress. Nowadays I feel burnt out and I stopped trying. When people ask me about my PhD I lie and tell them that I am almost done. I have been to quite a few job interview during the past few years but they never called back. Had some projects in mind that were good business ideas imo but whenever I started I would never go through with them cause of the stress PhD is causing me. Never been good under pressure.
As for my relationships, I will start with my parents. We have had my fair-chair of big and small arguments in my teen and adult years, but I have always had a good relationship with them and I loved them. Now, since my dad passed away my mom, sister and I became really close (or closer than we already were). Then my aunt moved in with us a little while after that (due to some personal stuff), everything was good and well at first but the thing is I live in a conservative country, in a very conservative city and my aunt is super old school and she got an influence over my mom who has become super controlling which caused some friction between us for the past few years but especially during the past year and it has gotten worse during the past couple of days (well I wouldn't put the issue entirely on her cause my mom has always nosy and controlling but she would stop if you talked to her). Now when I say controlling and nosy I mean she is trying to control everything even what I wear, and whenever I am talking to the phone she always comes into my room to know who I am talking to. Sometimes she acts like she is disciplining a 15 yo and not talking to a grown man. I have always given up a small part of my independence since my parents were sheltering me, I have had a couple of friends telling me I shouldn't when we were younger and I was always like "nah, it's fine". Well now that I am trying to get 100% of my independence and autonomy back and receiving a big push back I am starting to understand what they meant.
Now to my friends. Well, I should start by saying that during my teen years I did have friends but I had a lot of difficulties connecting with people or knowing how to react during social situations which also lead to me being bullied quite a lot up until I was around 19/20. During my uni years and early 20s things have gotten better all of a sudden, I was less shy, it was easier to talk to people and to know how to react to different situations, it was easier to make new friend and my relationships with the couple of friends I made during middle school and high school was great. Even my old bullies became respectful and would stop for a chat whenever they saw me. It got me thinking "maybe that's how it is like to turn into an adult" at some point. Now I have made quite a few friends from a couple of groups I hang out with, and I like to think that I am pretty close to most of them or at least was. The thing is that over the years some of them either criticize my quirks or tease me which I always thought was fine, I would either answer them back jokingly, take their criticism seriously and try to work on myself depending on what the quirk is or just ignore them. The problem is that over the year some of my friends have started to either take themselves or their teasing too far. Sometimes it just feels like they are walking over me. Like that one friend who always lectures me "about being a grown ass man" (and in a mean way might I add, he literally screams at me) just because I haven't seen him while outside, because I only drive inside our town (because I am not that good of a driver, I used to get extreme anxiety just being behind a wheel)(he lectured me 3 times during the same day last month and 2 of them was in front of mutual friends) or that one time he berated me about something that I thought so stupid that I made a joke and his literal answer was "shut the fuck up and listen to me when I am talking to you, I am older than you (by 2 months), I have more experience than you (cause he moved abroad) and I know better than you". Or when that group of friends that tried to catfish me at one point (they did a very bad job btw). Or that other friend that does fucked up shit or says hurtful things and his out of jail card is literally "it was just a prank bro". Like whenever I tell him the smoke from his cigarettes his bothering me he literally blows smoke on my face, or that time he threw a lit cigarette butt on me and it ruined my pants, or when we were complaining about or PhDs (he used to be a PhD student) and he told me "you stagnating so you wish for people to go backwards so it would feel like you are making progress" or that time were he told a mutual acquaintance that "I was a simp"(which I am lol) and that "I stuck to girls like glue". And sure enough whenever I stop talking to him his response would be "it was just a joke", or when I loaned him money cause he had money issues few years back he has promised me several times that he would pay me back after he gets paid for jobs he is doing but then when I ask him again he is like "Why didn't you ask me 2 days ago I used it to pay back few debts. You are the only debt I have left.". He has done the same thing over the past few years and given me the exact same answer each time. Until, I told him last year that it was okay if he didn't pay me back cause he had to loan a big amount to pay for his parents' rent .
Now I am not sure the way I respond to those situations is the healthiest. My go to strategy is to just go home and not talk to them for a while. The most recent example is from last weeks. I have a friend that always asks me to download softwares for him, to install them and set them up. Honestly I didn't mind it at first but he does it so often that it has become annoying and it feels like I can't refuse cause he always says "if I am bothering you that is okay", plus whenever he sits next to me while I work on his PC he goes on rants I don't want to hear about. Anyway, he is a PhD student and he asked me to help him with a paper he is working on cause it is overlapping with my field, I didn't mind. Then, he called me the other day and asked if I could meet him immediately, I accepted (to be fair to him he did ask me if I was going to take a lot of time to arrive, I answered with "no" then it did take me 25 minutes more than it should have) and when I called him to tell him I was almost there he answered with "are you kidding me? I don't have time", I just hang up before he could finish his sentence and went back home. Or two voice messages I impulsively sent yesterday cause I was really upset and needed to let my anger out one way or another. The first one was to the "it was just a prank, bro" dude, I lent him some more money few months ago that he promised he would pay back by the end of 2023 and still hasn't. The message went like this "give me back my money or I will kick you in the balls and break your nose" (it sounded cooler in my language lol. And I want to add that he would definitely win in a fight. ). It wasn't about the money I was just tired of him and would get upset every-time I would think about the way he is treating me. Then I followed up with another message calling him a parasite. The second one was to the dude who always berates me. Despite the way he treats he considers me as a best friend, so I have been thinking about sending him a message for the past 2 weeks explaining to him that I didn't like the way he treated me. But because I was angry the message went like this "Go fuck yourself, and fuck your so called advice. You are just trying to enforce some random criteria you have made up on me. Let me give you the same advice you give me, you are a 30 yo man so it would be about time you came back to reality and to close your asshole (which is a rude way of saying you have got a big head in my language). Also shut the fuck up.". Needless to say that he was confused and tried to call me and left me like 2 voice messages that I ignored (cause I wasn't feeling like hearing from anyone) and a screenshot from his note app saying that he was sorry that I felt that way and that he considered me like a good friend and that I was a good guy (I haven't read everything). He probably tried to contact me today, but I can't be sure cause I spent the entire day messing with my phone and installing different ROMS (OS). But yeah, I received an SMS from him few hours ago saying that he was going to press charge for "defamation and mental distress " (I think that is the correct translation), which I thought was ridiculous plus he is not the kind to press charges. But then, he has people in his life that he respects a lot and if they advised him to he would definitely do it. Plus he used the number he uses when he comes to our country to text me, on the other hand the country he is at is close enough that he could just text me from that number. I mean I think it would be ridiculous to press charges for that voice mail lol, but again some stupid law got voted few months ago that if you were caught cussing that could cause you up to 6 months of jail, and I definitely cussed. Oh and he also followed with "we obviously don't deal with conflicts the same way. There is the dirty way then there is the smart way" (Again not sure about the translation so I am using the literal one). When I saw it I was like "there is no way I am not ignoring you now"
If you managed to read the whole thing I thank you, I feel a lot better, I mean it still feels like the earth is about to swallow me whole but I still weirdly feel calm about it lol.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Nocontact4you
None of my family knows this trip will be the last time they see me.
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest & Poems
Thanks to u/lolfuckno for suggesting this BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: Infidelity, cancer, ableism, bullying, abandonment, emotional abuse of a child, verbal abuse, neglect, lies, mentions of miscarriage
MOOD SPOILER: Depressing
Original Post Feb 4, 2024
Firstly, I’m okay, physically anyway.
Honestly, I have no idea who this is for, but I think I just need it out of my head.
The circumstances of my birth were complicated. I broke up two marriages, and my family has never been shy about how they feel about me for that. Only one of my brothers has gotten drunk enough to tell me to my face that he resents me for existing, but I know it exists within all of them, at least in some way. Im much younger than all my siblings, and there was so much that happened out of our hands that I made excuses, but my whole life, I’ve never quite felt “part of the family”.
As a child, I told myself we’d make up for lost time once I got older and we could talk as equals. Now, at 23, I see glimpses of the life I wished I’d have, but in the end, I’m always too much trouble to involve. I hear EVERYTHING from my father. I had to find out my niece was in a car accident from him; I had to find out my other niece had a miscarriage from him; I had to find out my oldest brother had a BRAIN TUMOR haphazardly on a phone call with my father, which he didn’t even know I was unaware of.
I’ve known for a while I’m the only one trying, but for the sake of my dreams, I’ve given every opportunity for them to let me in, but I just can’t do it anymore.
I have a psychiatric service dog who aids me with CPTSD. He is the single greatest thing to happen to me. Not only did he save my life from myself, but he has made life livable. He can tell when I’m panicking and he knows pressure therapy to help me through an attack. He stops me from hurting myself in meltdowns, sits with me until the only noise I can hear anymore is his snoring on my lap. He allows me to go grocery shopping by myself. He is my soulmate, and anyone who knows me knows how important he is to me.
My dating life isn’t thriving, so I took a shot in the dark and asked my niece if she minded if I brought my service dog as my plus one for her wedding at the end of this month. I have to fly across the country to go, so I will be bringing him anyway since I cannot fly alone. I figured it couldn’t hurt to see if he could not have to stay in the hotel all night. I do not technically need him for the event, since I’ll know every guest and I will be drinking pretty heavily to cope, but getting to spoil him with a bow-tie, dancing, and STEAK, sounded like the perfect reward for helping me on my flight. Several times, I emphasized that I understood it was an odd request and she could say no if she wanted.
She was EMPHATIC that he could come! She said even if I found a date, he could come! I was elated! For once, I felt seen, I felt cared about, I felt valued. And then I got a call from my dad. No one wanted to make things awkward, but the mother of the bride was NOT okay with a dog being at the venue. I explained that he is a trained service animal and will not impede the ceremony in anyway, and I’d of course remove him if he did. Still, he said they didn’t like it. I was so tired of hearing everyone else’s words through my father. He won’t be around forever and sooner or later, they will have to start talking to me
I had one request: let the bride tell me. When I asked her, she said yes, and until she told me she changed her mind, I was under the assumption he could go. Well, I never heard back. My dad kept dropping hints when i’d call him, but I told him what my expectations were. When I RSVP’d, I put my dog as my plus one on the response to let them know I wasn’t backing down this time. At this point, I didn’t even care if she said he couldn’t go. I just wanted to hear it from her.
The next morning, I woke up to an EMAIL from my father. Not even a text, a fucking email explaining that my niece didn’t want to be the bad guy, but my dog was NOT welcome at the wedding. He said he was sorry, but he could still come with me to the hotel if I wanted.
Something inside me broke, I think. I think I realized this is truly a helpless case. They are never going to respect me the way I crave them to. To this day, not one of our conversations has been started by them. I always initiate, and now, the one time I request a direct contact, I get an email.
Family means everything to me. Over the last few years, i’ve redefined what a family can be, and if right now, my family needs to be a very damaged orphan and their service animal, I’m grateful I have that much.
So, I’m going to the wedding, and then I’m never going to talk to any of them again.
And the sad part is, I didn’t even think they’re going to notice.
Update:
First, thank you to everyone for the kind words, and all the advice. It sincerely means so much that so many people care. I want to address all the questions about why I want to go to this wedding at all. There are plenty of practical reasons that I can name, but the truth is, I need to go for my own closure.
I have a strange relationship with death, and loss. My mother died when I was 5; my family split up right after. I’ve lost several caregivers to serious diseases, grieving their death as they lived. I’ve learned how to navigate MY grieving process. If I don’t go to this wedding, I will regret it. Not only is it my last chance to see my childhood family all together in one place, but if I don’t go, I show them they can bully me. I do not want to make a spectical of my trauma with them, but that does not mean I have to walk away with my tail between my knees.
I’m not scared of them. My relationship is non-existent, but I did see my siblings/cousins/neiecesandnephews fairly regularly. When I was a kid, they intimidated and bullied me into silence, but I’m not a child anymore. I lived with these people; I can manage one night, if for no other reason than to prove they cannot control me.
Thanks again for all the kind words. Happy to provide a pupdate if someone can tell me how to post pictures from the app?
RELEVANT COMMENTS
When told not to go to the wedding

I spent $700 on a plane ticket and $200 on a suit. Least I can do is go drink someone else’s liquor and dance my worries away. Besides. It feels like goodbye

&

The cherry on top is they are all very conservative Christians, and I will be going in a suit with my hair dyed green and makeup done to the nines, so this will be my biggest “fuck you, I’m here anyway” I can pull off. Truthfully, my father’s memory is starting to go as he gets older, so even if I did explain my feelings, he will end up sharing anyway, so I’ve made my peace with the fact that it will be a one-way-street because lord knows they’re not gonna ask what I’m up to.

When told to call the bride directly

The last 20 years of trauma will not be solved with one phone call. This was their last chance to prove to me they want me in their lives. It’s not about the dog. It’s the fact that all I asked is to be treated like a person and talked to directly, and they have proven to me they don’t care, so I’m leaving. I already did my job of reaching out to her and she said yes. Why is it my job to reach out and make sure she hasn’t changed her mind?

When told her father is an asshole and he is the one responsible for everything

THANK YOU! I have felt like the only one who cannot fathom how that conversation could be had over EMAIL?? It’s sadly not uncommon for them to communicate through him, and I always have the receipts after the fact when they’re no longer worried about the awkwardness. My brothers don’t even know where I work. I am building a career around my job. They couldn’t tell you what my relationship status is, and I’d be hard pressed to tell you if they knew my middle name to be honest. My father is not innocent, but they are responsible for their part in our relationship. I have stopped reaching out to them directly because I barely hear back, and it’s clear they don’t really care what I’m saying. I could honestly write a book on the road that’s led me to this choice, but who’s got the time in this economy?

Pupdate for Everyone Asking! Feb 6, 2024
He’s a 2.5 year old, Black and Tan Coonhound☺️
Dog tax
Update Feb 26, 2024
Original Story Here:
https://www.reddit.com/TrueOffMyChest/s/2MfJ98m6kP
POST-WEDDING UPDATE!
So, I went to the wedding. It went about how I expected it to go, though one can never be ready for a spontanious conga line. Sadly, there was no secret last minute invite, nor any secret plot of which the bride was unaware. She felt bad saying no, so she lied, and she didn’t want to tell me that, and she still didn’t, even at the wedding. No one really said much at all, in fact. The mother of the bride did not speak to me at all, my brother tiptoed around the subject until the end of the night. To his credit, he did apologize, “for all the dog stuff” as he said goodbye. Strangely, the apology didn’t make me feel much better.
There was no big confrontation either, mainly because no one cared to listen to me if I tried. As the reception began, part of me wondered how much I was going to miss the people, the environment, the vibe, really. Truthfully, I surprised myself with how ready I was to leave. Goodbye was short, and bittwersweet.
The venue was pretty and the alcohol was free, so I made the best of my night, but I got what I needed out of it, I think. Getting home tonight felt like a weight lifting off my shoulders. I know more than ever that I need to do this, and what I once saw as cutting my family in half, I can now see is clearing space for new family, one that cares.
Thank you for all your kind words, and all the support for my dog!
Arrogance is Bliss March 25, 2024
You don’t love me.
You love an idea of me you fabricated in your mind when I was a child.
I’m no longer a child.
I’m far from perfect, but I’m growing, I’m glowing, and I’m grieving the reality that none of you will ever know the person I become.
You call it love, but my scars disagree.
You hate my hair, my style, my beliefs—you hate me.
And the saddest part is, I don’t even think you know you do.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

The rift between them has caused a lot of tension in my family and now my mom wants to be in the life of her newborn grandson but refuses to address or try to mend things with my wife.
Little history: I probably introduced them too quickly. My grandmother was in town in south Florida about to move here from Illinois for a retirement community. My wife, girlfriend at the time, came with cookies or some form of baked goods like she usually does when visiting someone as a sign of affection and respect. Where it went wrong from here I have no idea. I suppose the initial crack was when wife scheduled a skitrip for her and I to have as a 1 year of dating anniversary present. We are not rich, this is a huge gift that made sense to her since I refused to let her pay rent. Our combines salaries are barely over 120k. So wife calls mom 6 months in advance because she is a planner for the sole purpose of asking my mom to watch one of our four dogs. Wife has already paid in full for the trip. Yet Mom decides it is a great idea to instead use the opportunity to hop on and take a family trip because it is the last time the family will have for a family vacation - I am the oldest of two boys and two stepsisters, my mom married the guy she left my father for who has twin girls of his own that were in the womb during the infidelity. Anyway mom completely takes over and decides to make our one year gift a family vacation, so she books tickets for a hotel nearby. Wife is bold but at the time not bold enough to stop my mom in her tracks for overstepping a boundary. At this time she still respected my mother and kind of let herself get steamrolled.
Probably skippable Family history: Now I have always had issues with my mother, resentment for leaving my father for my stepdad behind my own fathers back and constantly trying to keep brother and I from seeing “Disneyland dad who doesn’t do any of the work but gets all the fun.” my mother was very strict growing up, always bringing us to church and making my father feel guilty for not bringing brother and I on his weekend. So mom marries stepdad age 11, divorces him around 13 after asking me advice for her relationship and i encourage her to move out. Then remarries him and moves us back into his house age 15. Here I begin rebellion and normal teeenager stuff but stepdad won’t butt in because he isn’t my “biological father” so would have my mom intervene brother and i from behind the scenes. For example, I am young and messing around on the piano because music is important and I never had any formal training and mom comes in to tell me stepdad “wants to know when the concert is going to end because it is a little annoying.” Anyway, they have me prescribed adderall at 16 and in the parking lot holding my first prescription I am told that they would like me to move out and in with my father, who had chased us every time mom and stepdad moved several miles away (5 moves from age 5-15 all in one county). Anyway, brother and I are recovering alcoholics with (my) slipups triggered from interactions or visiting my mom, which mom claims is genetics from my father alone and has nothing to do with her. Maternal grandfather, mother, and I have some nasty temper problems which certainly are exacerbated by drinking (at least mine and moms).
Skitrip revelations: Wife and I are on the way to brothers graduation in Chicago, and wife has yet to reveal to me that my mother has taken over her massive investment of a couples ski vacation and it will now be a family vacation for mom, stepdad, brother, two stepsisters who are all getting out of gradschool. On the way to the airport I am told the news by future wife of my one year surprise. So I get upset and call my mom to call it off. She obliges my request and now holds resentment against me and now wife for “ruining her last family vacation.” Fine, whatever. Mother never says a word about it for months until we are out for a distant family members birthday dinner and at a table of about 8-10 people that are having a group conversation and gets real close to my wife’s ear and tells her privately along the lines of “you deprived our family of our last family vacation.” During this time my wife is frantically tapping my leg under the table because my mom can get a little aggressive. My mom saw this and later (privately to me) mocked her for doing it to my leg under the table.
Christmas blessings: Closer to Christmas maybe 2/3 weeks later we went to go see my mom and my mom had a couple drinks in her (not an alcoholic like brother and I just very sensitive to a couple glasses of wine and occasionally some hidden sips of wine or something) and invites my wife to Christmas church and out to dinner after because the family needs photos for a Christmas card and future wife “will be the photographer for it.” Now this can easily be a nothing comment but given the way my mom had been making future wife feel, it was taken as an insult. So wife declined church and showed up to family dinner just in time for photography session to be over.
The distance: Then mom moves to a fancy house up the coast and invites us up to visit. At first it is ok to bring the 4 dogs then the day before she says they will not have dogs at the house and we can easily find a sitter. 2 Dogs don’t get along, they need to be separated always as there has been two attacks on one from the other, so we can’t trust someone to come to the house and keep them separate and we won’t board 4 dogs it’s too expensive for us. Anyway we go back and forth being invited with the dogs then they retract the offer and say pick one dog to bring and leave the others and it’s just annoying, so we say forget it and don’t go. But my brother becomes engaged and decides to throw his engagement party at my mom’s new place near the beach. Great. First all the dogs are welcome, then day before they say it is too chaotic and she will pay for a small hotel room for one night for future wife and her dogs and my one (the attack dog) can stay in a crate at the house with me but I may not leave the dog to stay with her. And no reasonable cheap hotel in the area is going to accommodate 4 dogs. Anyway wife is stressed but feels obligated to come because I am the best man and I stay at the house while she checks her dogs into the hotel. Wife had made a cheesecake and brought it up in a separate car from me, 4 hour drive by the way, and night of.. my mom says no desserts for engagement party dinner, the dessert is themed or some crazy stuff. Wife shows up to dinner a little later and very flustered because of the situation plus I had relapsed on a bottle of whiskey a couple days prior to seeing my mom. Related, I don’t know. Anyway. Mom has had a couple drinks and future wife and I are talking about having children and religion comes up. Mom asks what we were thinking of doing about baptism or not and I jokingly said (guiltily to get on my moms nerves a bit) that he would have a bris and would love it if she would come to the bar mitzvah. now my wife’s mom was forced to convert from Catholicism to Judaism for her own mother in laws acceptance for a failed marriage so wife is not religious, but it hurt my wife and reasonably so when my mom replied “oh, son, I raised you better than that.” Still no acknowlegement of fault from that comment and mom thinks wife is “overly sensitive, dramatic, and childish” for wanting an apology for it.
Weddings: Future wife becomes current wife. We had gotten engaged on our next anniversary trip she planned for us. I proposed on our bike and barge through tulip season in holland with our feet in the water of the North Sea after a picnic in the dunes. her family business manufactures photo albums for professional photographers, so aside from our families all being divorced, estranged, difficult, and us trying to save money, we did not have a wedding, we just did the paperwork within a month of the proposal. I had already decided to have a baby with her before the trip so we were trying. 2 weeks before brothers wedding in Tennessee we become pregnant, so we break news immediately as to not steal limelight from brothers expensive wedding. Mom says she will cover cost of rental car so we can save money. Ok great. She books the tiny car and we pack it and head up the Smokey mountains to the cabins we are staying at. Two cabins for grooms family, one for his mother and one for his father, ten paces from each other: they havnt spoken but twice im since divorce in 1995 but through lawyers. Grandmother, mother, stepdad, 2 stepsisters and one boyfriend stayed in mom’s side. Wife and I stay at father’s side cabin with just his wife. His Wife’s 3 daughters and family’s stayed a town away down the mountain among extended family. Anyway, beautiful wedding takes place. My wife is sent into town to collect flowers and run errands for my mom which she happily obliged to since she is a solitary person and did not want wedding day drama. Day after, we are loading our rental sedan with our bags. Mom and grandma need a ride to the airport and our flight is before theirs so they will drop off the car for us 4 hours or so after we go to the airport 5 hours from current time. We’re loading the car. Stepcousin passed out in mother’s cabin night before and needed a ride. Disorganized brunch for 20 people is trying to be made. Father’s wife’s daughter books a reservation for 10 people which include her family, her sisters, me, my wife, dad, and their mom. My stepdad had left for home at this point as he had taken his own suv instead of flying with my mom and 90 year old grandma. So mom is trying to pack grandma in the car with bags and my wife and stepcousin. At this point mother asks stepmother if she and grandma are on reservation for the brunch. Stepmom says no they are not, she wasn’t sure of their plans. Mom says under her breath “fucking assholes, so typical,” and she goes into a bit of a rage to which my stepmom says here “it’s ok I will call and add you two it’s no big deal.” So we continue packing the car and realize we won’t all fit. So my wife tells my stepcousin to go ride with my father to the restaurant 10 minutes away we will meet you there. Mom says to wife, “no you go with the father.” Wife says “no I am going to ride with my husband” mom gets close to her face with her finger and says “this is my car, you can fucking Uber!” Wife is 6 weeks pregnant at this point and it all escalated from here. wife and mother start yelling at each other swearing at each other and we get into the car, mom behind wife who was in shotgun. 2 occasions on the trip I had to stop the car because mom had taken off her seatbelt to stand over the seat and scream in my wife’s face with so much vigor that spit came on to her face multiple times. I’m trying to tell them both to behave and mom sit down shut the f up. Mom is telling wife to get the f out of the car and find a ride, she has no right to speak because she’s “new here” (dating and living together for 3 years at this point). The following brunch she apologized in a crowd with a hushed voice at a table of 20 people trying to have a group conversation again privately to my wife “I’m sorry you get so upset” and my wife told her “that is not an apology.” The following several hours in the car with grandma and stepcousin and wife were some of the most uncomfortable moments of my life. At a gas station I pulled my mom aside and said I need ther to give a huge apology, that it was so nasty and inappropriate, my brother and I are used to abusive language and aggressive behavior but to my pregnant wife and any other human being it is disgusting and unacceptable. Sitting in the car was quiet for many hours until we got to the airport. No speaking about what happened just mom happy go lucky about Tennessee and Dollywood and wife and I in shock, cousin still half in the bag from a fun wedding, grandma 90 years old probably confused about what happened.
The family groupchat: Im waiting on an apology from my mother to my wife who is extremely hurt and expressed to my mom loads of time she needs to reach out and apologize. We’re not talking until she will do so. It is bugging me and keeping me up at night. My appendix flares up and I am admitted to the hospital with emergency appendectomy. Still pregnant Wife suggests I reach out to mom to let her know what’s going on. So I text mom I’m at the hospital and will have surgery. I send a pic or something that on my end says hasn’t gone through. Mom group texts our family group with stepdad, his daughters, brother and his wife, and grandma that I am in the hospital and attaches the pic I sent of me in there. Then she continues to rave about the success of her startup company and how they got FDA approved clinical trials finally completed or some pivotal moment that made the text about her. Wife and I are in a hospital so the picture comes up on moms end as unable to have been sent. Mom assumes that my wife has blocked her phone, so mom removes my wife from the chat. Wife is rushing home to take care of the dogs at this point and is not alerted on her phone, but on everyone else’s phone it clearly reads “(mom) has removed (wife) from the chat.” Immediately I text my mom and basically say how dare you do that to her she is the one who insisted I let you know out of respect and mom responds with blah blah she did this she did that I will not have it. So I go back to the family chat and remove mother. At this point I let everyone in the chat know what my mother has done and how she refuses to take responsibility for how she made my wife feel, address her feelings, apologize or do anything at all to reach out about the wedding incident or even inquire about the wellbeing of the pregnancy for her first grandchild. Stepdad finally steps in and tells me “enough.” Grandma says “shame on you.” I am dumbfounded. This is a hush hush family that hates to have anything out in the open and likes to maintain a picture perfect image. For examples; 1) I and wife were on the family Christmas card of a photo taken at the wedding that the whole world received except for wife and I. 2)brothers alcoholism was to remain hidden from the family as was his rehab treatment and how it affected his career. Now understand that they like to keep things quiet but that is not how I want to handle my problems, these things trigger alcohol use and violent outbursts on my part that I no longer wish to live through. Now appendectomy’s are pretty simple so I recovered quickly (it don’t rupture we just took it out). But during the time I was scheduled to be under anesthesia, stepdad reaches out to wife to have a chat and clear the air. Wife waits until I come to so i can be there and I hear the conversation. He claims to be here as a middleman like a business meeting to fix things once and for all. Wife and I are like wow great. He then proceeds to double down on my moms behalf that they will not be apologizing or meet any of her demands as she had already apologized as confirmed by 90yo grandma who was in the car and my mother herself. The term he used was stalemate to describe the situation. Wife and I are shocked but she has me keep quiet to show me what he will say. He proceeds to yell at her and they were screaming at each other, again steamrolling the conversation assuring us that he was down the middle yet maintains that mom has made a sufficient apology that needs to be accepted and wife needs to grow up and move on, then wishing her luck with the baby and a nice life. Next day I call stepdad to see how it went. He reassures me that he has done all he can and everything is back to normal. At this point I call him out and tell him I was conscious and explain to him what an apology is. But there is no dialogue with this guy like there is no dialogue with my mother. He proceeds to talk loudly over me like she does and basically call me a piece of shit for the amount he and mother have done for me. I speak to him first time like I never have before by calling him a hands off father and a pussy of a man who finally reaches out while he thinks I am under anesthesia to yell at my wife then pretend it’s cool, and I basically tell him he has never done a single thing for me to try and develop me into a man or nurture me as a child into an adult, but he thinks taking me on fishing trips and ski vacations are equivalent to love and nurturing growth and development just like my mom does. I reassure him that he has no right to talk about family being that he ruined his own as well as mine and couldn’t even tell my dad to his face that it was him who was sleeping with my mom behind his back when my dad came to him very upset as a friend when he got an anonymous phone tip at work one day. Then him and my mom laughed about it in court when my dad brought it up during the divorce. We ended with swearing and I felt very happy for finally giving my true feelings to him.
The birth: Months go by and nobody has said a thing. I can’t sleep at night seeing how much love I am getting from my father and his side for the baby, and my wife’s family, then thinking about how my own mother hasn’t reached out a single time. I’m dreaming about beating up my stepdad and it’s driving me mad. So weeks before the due date I reach out to my mom begging her to clear things up and apologize to my wife. Nothing. A week later i tell her how disappointed and abandoned I feel and want her in the family. Nothing. Baby comes a couple days early. Everyone is excited. Mom texts me begging for photos and to let everyone know. I tell her my brother and two stepsisters have received photos. I ask her to please reach out to wife she still needs to make amends for what’s happened between them and all she needs to do is reach out. Mom’s responses have been defensive, derisive, projecting, playing victim and referring to herself as a kicked puppy. Telling me my wife needs to apologize to her and making the conversation about mother son instead. She is beating around the bush. And she is sending me photos of my own baby that I did not send her. Her friends are congratulating me that I did not tell. Again she is pretending that everything is ok and it is not. She asked me to apologize to her husband for what I said on the phone that day. I said ok, watch this. So I sent the guy a message that was very apologetic and not passive aggressive or backhanded comments in any way. Still my mom won’t say anything.
Now: Baby is 6 days old. He is the best thing in my life and I wish my family were involved but it seems like I am living in a fantasy world where everyone can be happy together. I can be a jerk and have a terrible relationship with my mom, but I want more than anything to just feel loved enough where she can swallow her pride and make amends with my wife. Thats it. And she asked the other day to put a family group chat so everyone can be involved… for real? I know she is stressed with a high pressure job, but it seems heartless to me. She asks what big items she can get for the baby. Mom, baby is here we have everything for a couple months already. I said the biggest thing you can do is reach out and have a heart to heart with my wife so this rift can end and we can at least be cordial if you two can’t get along. I don’t think it will happen.
How do I mend this relationship between my wife and my mother?

Hey Guys, looking for help in validating my potential set up. I am very new to this so I tried to note all my thoughts. If I didn't explicitly state it, I probably am unaware.
Scenario: LED Up lighting on ground to shine up onto wall. Can place controller anywhere. Open to multiple controllers.
Length: This is for my wedding and the venue is not yet selected (so I actually am not positive I will be allowed to do this yet but I want to plan). Let’s say 15 meters.
Wants:

• Safety. I don’t know much about electrical engineering
• Addressable RGB (maybe RGBW)
• Diffusion with no hot spots
• Bright enough to really color the walls. So I’m thinking plan for at or near 100%
• Quick to put together after prep has been done. As in I can test it at home, break it down, transport it to the venue, and set it back up easily. I’ll need to measure to be certain but internet specs say my SUV’s cargo area is 1.8 meters long. Though by doing diagonals I might be able to squeeze a bit more space out of it.
• Sound reactive

Other Thoughts:

• Thinking about what I’ll use this for after. Maybe accent lighting around a room? Might be nice to have actual whites.
• Scenario 3 Ultra Mode very closely resembles what I'm describing. https://youtu.be/Umo6jKLfwsQ?t=3408

What I currently think I need to buy:

• LED Strip
  • With this length, 24 Volt seems to be the way to go
  • Sounds like the COB is the brightest https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmIcTIAlI74&t=400s
  • Waterproof isn't required
  • Depending on if I want to include whites or not
    • 24v addressable COB “720LEDs/m” RGB
    • 24v addressable COB “768LEDs/m” RGBW
    • I don’t think I really need white for this but might be nice for future use
  • White vs Black PCB
    • Since it's hidden shouldn't matter right? Maybe white would make it slightly brighter? I suspect that to be negligible.
• Controller
  • I do not want to DIY the controller
  • Dig-Uno
    • Probably not
  • Dig-Quad
    • I think this would work
  • Dig-Octa and up
    • Seems overkill and starting to seem even more complex.
  • AE+
    • This would add sound reactive
    • The touch button might be nice as at the venue I don’t know what the wifi will be like and could reduce size by not including the antenna
    • IR would be nice for same reason as touch button
    • I don’t think I need the SD card
    • I don’t understand what the 3x LED channel is so not sure if I want “Full” or “IR + MIC”
• Aluminum Profile Housing
  • 45 Degree so its angled
  • Maybe I can get something 3D printed as as stand for it so It can be raised to the height of the what’s covering it on the ground (I’m imagining the venue already has something there as the venue where I got the idea did already have something)
  • Not sure on Milky vs Clear cover
    • I think Milly might look better as it would hide the LED strip
    • I could probably buy a small pack of each and test it out. I assume it’ll be personal preference?
  • The one linked from Quin comes in 50cm sections
    • https://quinled.info/2019/01/17/importance-of-led-cooling/
    • I think I could premake this in 5m sections so that would be 10 pieces a section. This would not fit in my car but if at the very ends I don’t peel the last 3cm off from the adhesive, I could maybe leave the cover off and fold it, allowing the led strip to curve and not bend sharply
    • I would then use connectors, listed in a later section. This would be to connect the 3x 5m sections together
• Connectors
  • Could I use some sort of quick connectors to make disassembly and reassembly easier?
    • I didn’t see any on https://quinled.info/2018/10/01/tools-and-equipment/#connector-blocks
    • Was thinking something like
    • Would this make a hotspot?
• Power Supply
  • If I really want it to be capable of full brightness I’d need
    • Source
    • COB-RGB
    • COB-RGBW
    • Mean Well UHP-500 series
    • Could go with Mean Well LRS-350 if going RGBW
  • What do I do for an enclosure? I don’t like it being so exposed for both safety reasons and it looks rather unprofessional.
    • Concerned about what if there is a snag on the cable? I wouldn’t want bare wires connected to an outlet to just be laying around.
    • I’ve found this which helps some as it looks much safer to me but isnt for UHP-500 https://openbuildspartstore.com/powercase-kit/
    • Also saw many 3d printed options as well but is that safe?
• Cables
  • Data cables
    • Not sure what AWG. Since it's so short, I assume 20AWG?
  • Power injection
    • Discussed in Power Injection section but thinking 20AWG since its so short.
• Power Injection
  • There are two sections if placed in the middle but not exact middle as to remove the need to cut the 5m strips (it is sold in 5m strings if bought 5m right? It's not 5x 1m strips?).
    • COB-RGB
    • COB-RGBW
  • After doing the math here, maybe just inject at one end. Seems a whole lot simpler to do. Maybe someone on here sees a fault in that, that I do not see.

Hi All- (kind of petty question that's bothering me an unreasonable amount)
I'm a long-time lurker here, but this is my first time being driven to a "WTH do I do with this???" post.
I lead a team of 7 at a small public health nonprofit that's in the process of doing some (genuinely) big and cool things: we just bought our own building that we're renovating and moving our staff of 24 into. Opening up a community health center for underserved folks and survivors of a mass shooting, etc. etc. (read: we're very very busy and because we're doing it with a team of 24, the general vibe is "all hands on deck" and "we'll sleep when we're dead.")
I'm a work-'till-you-drop kind of person, and where I deeply believe in the importance of team building and camaraderie, I don't get overly involved with my team and am on the "we're here to do important things and then we go home to our lives" side of relationship building with colleagues. All this to say- I have an employee who has been with the org for 1.5 years, and who has struggled since their 3rd month on the job. They moved into a new, very different position about 6 months into their role that I was hoping would be a good fit, and it wasn't. After lots of coaching and an eventual PIP, they dubiously resigned to go back to school, giving me a 4-month heads up. Considered it a big win, and they've been chugging right along and getting exactly what's been asked of them and nothing more done (an improvement from before), and I've been coasting to their last day with a sense of relief.
This employee LOVES connecting with others. Classic "not getting anything done but talking for hours at the water cooler vibes," and is quick to tell me that they feel left out when they aren't invited to senior leadership meetings (a group that they aren't a part of.) They often dip out on late nights at work when the rest of the team is hosting community events, siting "work life balance" and lack of energy when the rest of the team is pushing through to get services to those who need it.
This morning I was approached by our EA, who let me know this employee approached them to ask about a "going away" party on their behalf. They referenced wanting an event very similar to one we'd recently thrown for a executive leader in the organization, who had been with us and developed an entire department for almost a decade. The lunch we put on for this executive leader was expensive (for a frugal nonprofit) and was an ordeal that old staff came back to attend. We ate and drank and shared our favorite memories of this employee to send him off to his new adventure working for the Governor's office.
Long-story-long: I'm so flabbergasted and offended(?) by this request, that I'm having a hard time responding how I know I should. I would have planned a little happy hour, in the midst of our work's chaos, and had folks sign a card and sent them on their way. But now, I'm so annoyed and put off by their request, I don't want to do anything at all. The EA is also weirded out, and unsure how to respond to the request. She's asked me to circle back with my employee, understandably so, and figure out what my team wants to host.
Our org has no budget for these things. In the few times employees have moved on to other positions, it's usually a "we all chip in" or a low-key happy hour. All I want to do is sit down with this employee and say "Hi. [EA] told me that you approached them about a going away party. We don't ask for parties thrown on our behalf, in the same way we don't ask for gifts. Get over yourself, and good riddence." but- for obvious reasons, I can't do that.
I'll take any- "Get a grip and give this person a party." or "Omg how obnoxious" advice / responses. But mostly curious if anyone has dealt with this before? Am I so biased by my humble midwest upbringing that I can't see this clearly? Help?

[OC Intro: The game is modded to increase basic jobs cost, seasonal events are disabled. Much of the crash details are based on NASA/SP-2008-565 Columbia Crew Survival Investigation Report recommendations especially Chapter 3 "Occupant Protection".]
The ship is without power, and Tightniks can't run the radar much without draining the batteries. He has only a few minutes of APU power left, goes over the best clearing he can find, and radars it. It varies by only a few feet from the aerodynamic glideslope there. He spots it out on the cameras and circles to go after that spot. He's only at two hundred feet now. With one hand on the stick, he uses the other to open the pressure equalization valve on the side hatch, then at one hundred feet, gets it undogged. Depending on how much damage he's going to get, it's less likely to be stuck closed and trap him. The dynamic vacuum this pulls in the cockpit rips most of the survival pack data cards from that rack and scatters them across the landscape. Crap, I'm gonna need those! Refocusing on surviving the next few seconds, he turns on the radar for the final approach, takes a last look around, then straight ahead at his forward camera and PFD, he clicks his HANS and shoulder strap locks in; after that, he can barely move, but that now is better than dying in this crash with a broken neck. He's a decent pilot and brings up the flare gently. Bringing up the alpha on this delta-winged ship, he balloons a little, but keeps the nose going up and restores a zero aerodynamic sink rate just above the highest terrain indicated by the radar altimeter. The ship bumps a little in the ground effect, and he can see the radar altitude cycling irregularly up and down about five feet at a time. Rougher than it looked from higher up! The body flap protecting the dead engines hits first, and the nose comes rapidly down. It hits, the screens go blank, and Tightniks is surrounded by airbags, some lifting his feet from the rudder petals and his hand from the control stick. It's blinding, it's disorienting, it's noisy, and, to his relief, it's long! It takes several seconds before the crashing cockpit stops moving. How many times did he flip over? Did he go sideways and roll? Am I rightside up? Are we really stopped on the ground? The airbags deflate, and he can move his arms. He gets his restraints loose and inspects himself. "Uck!" he says out loud (without the 'f'). No broken bones. His pressure suit can take his blood pressure. 116/81, pulse 112, blood oxygen 99 reads off on his left arm, I'll friggin' take it!
The ship is amazingly intact from what he can tell. He can't get any readings. The systems test meter seems to be working, but can't find any voltages anywhere. The ship seems to be completely dead. Behind him, 10 passenger seats are all surrounded by airbags and the back of the cabin ends in some sort of dirt-and-gravel and there's a bit of daylight seeping in around the edges. He was the only one on board, though, so their deployment was mostly academic (they might have stiffened the structure a little during the crash, but that's probably trivial.) Tightniks gets out of his spacesuit. The air on this planet is actually breathable. He gets the hatch open, steps outside and-
"A green shimmer erupts then disappears, and you hit the ground."
The human emerges from the glowing green mist and hits the ground. Groans. Pushes against that ground, trying to get back up. Where am I? What's my name? I remember nothing. Aren't babies born naked? He's got a dark blue button-down shirt on. A uniform? A shoulder patch. Gets up, looks around. I feel really heavy. I'm not that fat, am I? He picks up a small stone from the ground, this also feels heavier than it should. He rises to his feet and holds it out somewhat (he's unable to fully extend his arm) and lets it go. The stone hits the ground near his feet quickly and with remarkable speed. It's the gravity, it's greater than it is on- ...where am I from? This is- ...not my home planet? "Oooh..."
"Ka?" it says.
What is that? It's cute, at least.
It is not tame. He has no hope of catching it on foot. The creature seems to like the berries. Maybe if I gather some of those into one place and set some kind of trap...
33s: First trap.
I got one! The human lumbers up to the trap and gets the catch open. Do you bite? It doesn't matter much to me; I'm so friggin' screwed.
It doesn't. It looks at the human with a sense of wonder, actually. A blink and tilt of the head. Seems almost to be asking, Is it you? My purpose? My savior? Once out of the trap, which is totally wrecked, he has to make a new one from scratch, it follows him around like a imprinted hatchling bird.
Wiry little fella, you are. You're going to need some bulking up to do anything useful. The- ...'trimp', I guess... The trimp seems just barely able to feed itself. The human lets him into the broken ship's intact cabin, and it curls up comfortably in a passenger seat for a nap.
1m03s: Second trap.
"Apparently the Trimps breed if they're not working. Doesn't look pleasant."
What are they doing?
The trimps appear to be androgynous, and these two have paired off in the back of the ship. They're holding something carefully within a few hours, feeding it berries, grass, and- ...corundum.
Corundum?? Whatever that is, it isn't a baby.
1m35s: Third trap.
Only it IS a baby! The third trimp he trapped immediately joined the other two in raising it. They have a strange diet of food the human has found compatible with his own body, but they also eat rocks! They're careful to crush and sort aluminate minerals from silcate ones and only eat aluminate. Actually, they don't eat aluminate, they're only feeding it to the baby.
2m06s: Fourth trap.
All four are raising the same child, who is just starting to toddle. It seems these fellas have alumina or maybe even aluminum bones. The human takes a nap and wakes to find the first child grown up and they're starting to raise a second child, all five of them.
2m46s: Huts.
The human found a working bit of electronics. He calls it a pad, but maybe it's more like a smartphone. It has plans for two residential structures. The first, the smaller one, he can build right away, but the second one needs something called "drywall", and he has to figure out how to make that before he can build it. Huts and houses, apparently.
3m13s: 10 pop, full, first farmer.
The trimp he trained to farm and make paper took an incredible 50 units of food to get bulked up to do the work, and now it's not participating in rearing the child. But less than an hour after the trimp started farming and pulping, the child was out on its own, and the trimps did not start another. The ten seats on the ship were all full. Well, eleven counting the one up front that the human sleeps in. The pilot starts exploring the area.
3m28s: Battle.
Wait, what are you do-
The hostile roars and charges at the human, but one of his trimps jumps in front of him with a stick and they fight. It started right when the human got far enough away from the ship that the hostile non-trimps away from the ship began to regard him as leaving his own territory. After the trimp defeats the first enemy, it continues after other hostiles.
3m53s: Shield I in Z1c5.
The human is easily able to recover the loot in the territory cleared by the fighting trimp. Then he sees something glinting in the- That can't be! What the heck is that? It's a data card that fits his pad. It quite clearly regards trimp combat. He gets it loaded into his pad and studies it. I can do this, it just takes some wood. He returns to the ship to discover that they had already started on a new child before the fighter had even expired in battle. The human concentrates on his research.
4m38s: Mskel in Z1c11 defeated.
The remains of this one seem rather white and shiny. It's titanium! This enemy had titanium bones! He'll store them away. They'll be useful someday, I'm sure.
5m52s: Dagger I in Z1c20.
Where are these data cards coming from? The human wonders as he loads this one into his pad, It's for a weapon it calls a dagger. He blinks. I don't know what a dagger is. I'll take your word for it, data card. Needs metal. He has gathered some, but ore is plentiful. He can just dig and smelt it whenever he wants. For now, I'll continue researching.
6m18s: Arable in Z1c21.
It's an old cave that trimps like to live in. Why weren't they able to live there before? How could these friendly critters be confined to only the exact spot where THAT thing, he looks back where he came from, not remembering that he piloted the wrecked ship to its current resting place, crashed? This is really strange. I'll let them fill up this cave before advancing further. Wait, what about defenses? The hostiles never try to reclaim territory that they've lost, so he stops worrying about that fairly quickly.
8m22s: First hut is 0.3% first ever AP.
The trimps seem fairly easy to please in terms of living quarters. Two move into his first hut and start raising a child. The human has his tent, uniform, and the heater pilfered from his space suit. Not much of a mud fan.
9m59s: Miners in Z1c30.
Oh, what's on this data card? Sl3niw? Oh, I'm holding the pad upside down. Miners. I can teach trimps how to mine ores and smelt met- 200 units of food? Each job is getting more expensive to train a trimp for. He puts his bee nickels to his eyes and spots another data card probably 10 enemies away. "Sc"? Does that means science? I can teach trimps to do science??
13m57s: Scientists in Z1c40.
Due to the expense of training trimps, the human couldn't afford to build them shields until now, he's got Sh1-3 made for the fighter to capture the science training data card. 14m02s: One head went into that turtlimp shell, that of his fighter, but two came out: his fighter still has his head on, and he managed to get the turtlimp's head off. It rushes off after the deadly penguimp in the next cell. The shields are not doing all that much good, actually, but they're better than nothing. The human picks up and loads the science data card and- Holy runny sugar-free fudge crap! 1000 food units, but it'll endow them with the ability to speak. Good. I'm getting bored with no one to talk to.
14m28s: Bloodlust purchased and AutoFight enabled (that delay after getting it is an effect of jacking up the job cost.)
As the human buries this expired little trimp warrior, he comes to the sobering realization that he has more trimp graves in his growing trimp colony than he does live trimps. And yet they seem more hopeful now than before I got to know any of them. They seem to think I'm the solution to all their problems or- Those two look east somberly, then notice that he's watching them and smile back and wave at him. ...one problem that is specific, but very, very huge for them. [The only reason I say 'east' is because that's right on a map, and the game advances right across a row, then up. I might say 'northeast' on occasion for that reason.]
20m47s: Z1c73, Miners taken.
Are you my new mining foreman? The trimp who took to the mining training has dark brown fur that lays flat on its head. It's unusual in not having any bits that stick out from its head, ahoge or whatever. This one is relatively quiet, and while it has assimilated the mining and smelting knowledge, it needs to bulk up to do any mining. Smelting is relatively easy, and getting a strong natural draft going in a furnace is almost trivial with the increased gravity. This trimp builds furnaces like nothing. And likes to nap in holes it digs right on the spot; it's weird that way. [Puchim@s Yukipo, and furnaces are not explicit in Trimps.]
21m58s: Farming in Z1c80.
The resourcing "books" are not data cards but paper scrolls, apparently lost to the trimps. It seems that they were civilized in the recent past and some calamity swept over the planet to reduce them to this. Did I have something to do with it? Amnesia sucks harder than a Dyson- ...what's a Dyson? Whatever, it sucks. This disaster happening just before I crash in the only spot with trimps still alive would be a seriously crazy coincidence! Something is really, really wrong about all this. [The author has not sought or received product placement permission or fee from Dyson Technology Ltd. or any resellers of their stuff, just they literally suck balls and made my favorite vacuum cleaner.]
23m50s: Builder in Z1c90.
They've rescued an, I dunno, gelding trimp? It just started to build a shed around the piled lumber I left to build one. It's really slow compared to me, and just banged its thumb, but it is super cute with that long reddish head fur. That particular trimp is also fascinated with pink ribbons and likes to decorate its head fur with them. Because of its inherent inability to participate in rearing children, it isn't counted in the population. [Puchim@s Io, builder on the basis of Iori seen building in 1x10.]
26m02s: Zone 2, 44 pop, 5.5s RC with Z0/1.
It's some sort of tactical manual - tactical coordination. Coordination! He's starting to sort out some trimpese on the research he has done so far. It needs a lot of metal, so they won't be able to implement it for some time. Hopefully, they're still good one at a time, but these enemies seem to be getting bigger as we go along. Uh oh!
27m33s: Gym in Z2c5.
It's some sort of training dojo or sporting arena. The human examines the ruins, I think I can back-engineer drawings for this, get one built, and see what happens.
29m02s: 1g, 47 pop, 10.8s RC with Z1/2.
The two fighting trimps now with their gym and coordination are dodging and blocking enthusiastically, and making much faster ground against the bad guys then a little while ago when it was just one trimp fighting at a time and unable to avoid the enemy hitting back.
40m46s: Fresh turkimp in Z2c74, 63 pop, 7.9s RC, Sh1-10, Da1-5, Bo1-3, Ma1-3, Hm1-3, 6g.
Oh, wow, the laborers seem really hot after this turkimp. He cooks it up and tries a slice. It's really awesome! I have to work alongside his laboring trimps to share it, but I'm getting used to the gravity now. That scroll we found back in Z2c10 really helped. Trimps' techniques and appliances for handicapped individuals, and I'm really handicapped in this higher gravity. He joins the woodcutters with the turkimp; they're the most numerous resource laborer right now, building more gyms, enough that the block/dodge ability of the fighting trimps is almost caught up to the enemy's ability to cause damage.
43m15s: Zone 3, 63 pop, 7.9s RC with Z1/2.
I'm neglecting my science and trimp scientists are really expensive. Curiously, that grey-haired one can't speak all that well, only says "Tai" and "Shijou", but it can write and draw like nobody's business. It's the only scientist so far. [Puchim@s Takanya: Online references probably still claim that she can utter the first two syllables of any word, but she can actually utter only the first two kana syllables of someone's name, most often the given name of basis human Takane Shijou, who also has that habit. (All the utterances of the puchidoru are based on the speech foibles of their basis humans except maybe Piyopiyo, where I haven't seen anything match up so far.)]
47m32s: Finally, we can make drywall and houses. 59m30s: Z3c77, 94 pop, 7.8s RC.
Oh, those poor things are really struggling up at the front. These trimps are enthusiastic and know no fear, but I still feel like telling them to stop for a while. I don't have the heart to keep them from trying while they're still doing some damage.
1h05m24s: Zone 4, 107 pop, 9.3s RC with Z3/4. 1h15m26s: Zone 5, 120 pop, 8.2s RC with Z3/4.
"What is that?" the human asks. He has three scientists. His first does all the writing, but the other two can actually speak. One of them hops up on a rock spire beside the human to reach his eye level.
At the next ridge line, over the lowest and most passable gap in the terrain, this really mean looking hovering sausage monster.
"I dunno," the scientist trimp shrugs, "But it's making me hungry. Looks like a perfectly cooked frankfurter from here." [John Morell's dubious dirigibles.]
"Oh, yeah," the human nods, "that's a blimp."
"A blimp?" the trimp tilts its head quizzically at the human, "How could you know?"
"I wish I could tell you, little buddy," the human extends his arm braces to descend the pass on the side of the zone boundary in the boss enemy's direction, then grunts, "Let's go kill it."
1h16m11s: Z1c9, 120 pop, 10.3s RC with Z4/5. 1h33m34s: Zone 6, 151 pop, 7.4s RC with Z4/5.
1h33m54s: TP in Z1c3.
"What's this?" the human asks, having picked up the little square document with the curling corners.
"Oh," the hungry scientist looks at it, "It's a garden path, follow me."
"You want to lead me down the garden path?" the human says.
"Yeah," the scientist says.
"Are you kidding?" the human asks.
"No," says the other scientist, "We don't get human humor. Listen, these fighters can't go, let them wear themselves out here, then we'll take the next group through this garden."
"Okay," the human nods, watching two more trimps join the fray as he issues the Z5 coordination orders, "they're doing pretty well after all that block training research we just wrapped up." [That's a common artifact, even in normal games, Z5 Traintacular combines with many gyms, enough population to add several trainers, affording Blockmaster, which is expensive on a run zero, plus a break on Tion Z5, a 40% all-stat increase. I don't think Zach designed it into the game on purpose, it just worked out this way.]
1h34m07s: 151 pop, 10.5s RC with Z5/7. 1h37m44s: Drop from Z6c39, TP for 3.
"Now we have these access map frags we can use to route through the old trimpopoli," the scientist explains, "Atlimpis for food, Morimpa for gems, Everimp for metal, and Impazon for wood."
"What about the garden?" the human asks.
"Well, we got lucky with Tricky Paradise," the scientist says, "but you can randomize the route and maybe get lucky. What's with that look?"
"Somehow, I'm remembering 'frag' as something that blew up with deadly pieces," the human says. [Different video games - ones with better graphics and worse gameplay Ｏ(>▽<)Ｏ]
1h39m59s: Blues back up to the top on series I...
"Tai, Tai!" the first ever trimp scientist stops the human just before he upgrades the mace and dagger to Mk.6 and Mk. 8 respectively. It has a note for him.
"Why do you keep calling me that?" the human asks, "Do you think that's my name?"
"Shijou, Shijou," it nods as though to indicate, I KNOW it is. Then it proffers its note again. The human takes it and reads, "Don't upgrade the first row equipment right now."
"Why not?" the human asks.
"Shijou," it points at the end of the mapped route, where there's a scroll sticking out of the thistles.
2h24m07s: Zone 8, 224 pop, 12.2s RC with Z7/12.
"Your settlement is getting crowded, there's Trimps in the streets, and you're taking heat. You feel a sudden strong desire to create a map, though you're not quite sure how that would help."
2h49m10s: Zone 9, 357 pop, 9.5s RC with Z8/15.
"You can't shake the feeling that you've been here before. Déjà-vu?"
The trimps really seem to like the new high capacity mansions, and the village has rapidly expanded since they started building them.
"There's something familiar about this," the human says.
"Tai," the grey one that writes clings to his arm and shows him a note that says, "Don't give up now."
"We must persist," says the yellow one has found a foothold it can grab onto and grabs the human's shoulder gently, "If you give up to early, we'll never solve this. You'll be stuck here forever."
The human puts his hand over the trimp's paw on his shoulders, then looks at him, "I can die, too."
"No, you can't," the trimp says quietly, "Please don't test that, tall one."
"Death is just another path..." he remembers.
"Gan," the grey one squeaks. [That's the first two kana syllables of "Gandalf"]
"...one that we all must take," the human continues, "The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it-"
"A green mist," the yellow trimp interrupts, "flash of fire, we're all gone and our progress forgotten. The wandering stars return to that day, and you again crash that ship- ...a little better every time."
"Wait," the human looks around, "have I been here before?"
"I-" the yellow trimp tries in futility to share what little it knows, "...or... somebody got just a little coolant into the-"
"Into the what?"
"This side up," the grey one's note says.
"Into the that," the yellow one points at the note, "It really helped. You- ...I don't think we've ever had mansions before."
Well, of course they didn't have mansions before. That was one of my ship's data cards. How did it get way out here? Will anything start to make sense?
3h02m13s: Zone 10, 387 pop, 8.7s RC with Z8/15; '28s: 11.1s RC with Z9/19. 3h16m41s: Tough snimp after food book, L10 rand dept from lo-hi-med 118/25/96, 4 Items.
"That's twice our frags led us to gem-rich Moria," the human says.
"Morimpa," the new red trimp scientist corrects, there now being 5 scientists. [There'd be more if there were more turkimp.]
"The question is how do we use all these gems?" the human looks at the village zoning plans again, "I like those mansions and all, but they use hardly any gems compared to, well-" he gestures at the pile of over two dozen thousand gems they've gathered, "-that! And still a lot of wood and lumber."
"I think there's something," the yellow one sighs, "I wish I knew more."
Quite some time later, after they're done looting that route for equipment plans, the trimps are again advancing through Zone 10, and he hears it.
"Tai?" the grey one wonders.
"Where are you going?" the yellow one asks.
"To the farm," the human answers.
"Whatever for?" the red one seems exasperated.
"Shijou?" the grey one sighs, then looks at the fighting front. It's been around long enough to remember, "Shijou!"
"You guys already get so much to eat this doesn't do you much good," the human explains.
3h32m33s: L11 112/35/78 rand sea, dropped from Z11c6 with disband, 4.
"What's wrong?" the red one asks.
The human comforts one of the wounded. Once trimps start into a zone fight, they have to finish before they bleed out. He's really bothered making them desert in front of that second turkimp. "They had a lot left in them," he sighs, rubbing his eyes, "but we can't keep that much dead turkimp at once, we have to leave it alive to use up all of this one."
"Shijou," the grey one presents a note, "We need this map right away, anyway. Don't worry about it, Tightniks."
"Tightniks?" he looks at the grey one, "Is that me? How do you know?"
"Tai," the grey one points at the top of the human's left breast pocket.
"Ah, crud," the yellow one curls its tail around in front of itself as trimps do when they're embarrassed, "Is that really a name tag?"
The human hadn't even noticed it since the green flash blew up his memory as he was stepping out of the ship.
4h04m22s: Block (sub-8h AP is only 0.3%), taking it, 504 pop, 9.8s RC with Z10/24.
It's a pretty thick book about using shields for block instead of hit points. The pad has the stats analysis. Sh3-1 is only giving us 9% of our hit points. Turning to his trimp scientists, he says, "It seems to me to be worth it."
"Let's," the yellow one nods.
"Shijou," it hands him a note, "It scales badly, but that won't matter for a long time. I think there's a way to undo it before it matters."
"Doing it." The human takes out his pad and starts scanning.
4h29m05s: L14 rand moun 137/26/80 is really good for a lo-hi-med. 4h30m52s: Hotels.
"Ah," the yellow one says, "I knew there was something. That must be it."
5h08m09s: L15 lo-hi-hi rand gard 129/28/82 (just got explorers). 5h09m32s: Picked up Wall.
"Dam," the human says.
"Damn?" the red one chuckles.
"No," the human says, "Earthen wall dam; it's a thing that makes artificial lakes by holding rivers back."
"Lakes?" the yellow one asks, "Rivers?"
"Oh yeah," the human says, "This planet doesn't have enough rain for those..."
5h48m21: Leaving Wall from about c70 to fetch Tion Z15.
"You can't resume the map from the same point if you start another," the human reads the grey one's note.
"We can go back to the same point on that route if we hold there and finish Zone 15, right?" Tightniks asks.
"Shijou!" it seems to be saying yes.
"Yes," the yellow one adds, "but we're out of Series III upgrades, and you need a fresh map route to start up Series IV."
"We should be okay," Tightniks says, "but if we have to start it over, I don't see that being a big deal." As they advance through the rest of Zone 15, Tightniks resumes his usual duties at the research desk instead building and running traps like he was before.
The trimps seem hopeful at this decision.
5h49m10s: Fresh turkimp. 5h50m16s: Zone 16, 1071 pop, 13.4s RC with Z15/75, 13m43s turkimp (skel in c1.)
"Z:16 Seriously? Another Blimp so soon?"
"So," Tightniks lowers his bee nickels and looks at the red one, "is it going to be boss fights at the end of every zone from now on?"
"Hmm," the red trimp looks up past the human at some random rock spire or cloud.
"Well?" the human persists.
"Yup," he says.
"Hmph," Tightniks grabs a Sw3-1 of the rack and advances towards the front, "Before then, we have another Mister Titanium."
"What does he like about skeletimps?" the red one asks the grey one as the human marches off.
"Shijou?" the grey one seems just as confused by that.
"He's not going back to the ship, and he's not getting himself killed," the yellow one smiles, "so I'll take it."
5h58m32s...
"Hey guys, go for the mortar!" the human suggests to his 75 fighting trimps in the Wall's boss fight.
"I can tell from your bedtime stories that you're used to the artillery in that other place," the yellow one gripes, "but fighting works differently here, there's no artillery."
And the human instantly collapses laughing, the scientists a little worried he might have injured himself in the planet's severe gravity. But he's okay, at least physically, "Mortar is the stuff between the bricks, fellas. That's is a brickimp, right?"
5h59m18s: Wall, 1076 pop, 13.3s RC, 1% AP for sub-8h finish, first L16 roll good 156/35/84 moun, 10 for the metal.
Beyond the Wall was a more edenic section of the trimpolis ruins, doubling the production of the lumberjacks. The trimps are actually really happy with the mode of all of the laborers moving between the three big jobs, along with the turkimp, except for the foremen specialized at leading the job. It isn't enough to boost their productivity, but the human goes to them with trays of sandwiches.
6h06m52s: 50 map run 0.3% AP...
6h19m13s: Zone 17, 1141 pop, 16.0s RC with Z16/94, no turkimp.
"Z:17 You climb a large cliff and look out over the new Zone. Red dirt, scorched ground, and devastation. Is that a Dragimp flying around out there?!"
"Hmm," the human surveys the new zone with his bee nickels, "Looks like crap. Any ideas?"
"You're the idea man," the yellow one groans.
"Set the map flag," he puts his bee nickels away, "We'll run a depth for practice and to load up on gems for more hotels."
"Righto," the red one gets to work.
6h44m34s: First DCP. (Draglimp Care Package; I refuse to call it a tribute.)
"Oh," the human says, "It's tame now, so it brings back gems in exchange for food?" He looks at his gaping scientists, "That's what it looks like, huh? Guys? Yo!"
"Tai..." the grey one sighs.
Draglimp, the dragimp imprinted on Tightniks, lands beside the human, drops some gems at his feet, and accepts some scratching behind its horns before diving into the food bowl.
"You tamed a dragimp???" Grey's note says.
"Well," the yellow one huffs, "I guess that happened."
8h18m53s: L20 depth of 154/27/79.
"Mapping up here?" the red one half closes one eye and tilts his head.
"Yeah," the human says while fitting together the depth map fragments, "With the coordination book not right at the end, we have an extra mark of coordination to take advantage of. Let's take our housing up to 2000 or so, shall we?"
"Okay," the yellow one says from a pile of logs, "What's all the wood for?" They had been collecting it for days now.
"The series upgrades follow a rather specific pattern," Tightniks explains, "Just on the other side of this blimp is Zone 21, where we should be able to find the Shield series V, right?"
"Shijou!" the grey one nods.
8h56m17s: 1% AP for 100 map runs, leaving it, 1751 pop, 24.8s RC with Z20/232. 8h56m54s: Zone 21...
"Ooooookay," Tightniks growls, "There is something off about this thing."
"Shijou?" the grey one looks at the yellow one with concern about their human starship pilot friend.
The human stoops, picks up the little green gem on the ridge between Zone 20 and 21, looks at it, huffs, and asks, "Any idea where this comes from?"
"Err..." the red one seems hesitant to say, "I think you made it."
"Really?" the human huffs, "How could that be?" Then he tosses it at Red, "See if anything reacts to it. It might be radioactive, so we should take turns to minimize exposure."
"Really?" Red's holding it now, "What makes you say that?"
"Because I'm pissed off for no reason I can figure out," the human says, "I think it's coming from that."
"Frags," the red one says quickly, "I think it's arranging a route. You're good with maps," it tosses the gem to the grey scientist.
"Shijou," the grey one says hopefully, and has a map drawn within a few minutes. [Whether it looks like the one in Puchim@s 1x61 is anyone's guess. That one annoyed me as well as Chihya.]
9h02m37s: L21 moun first roll was a decent 160/26/84. 9h21m00s: Starting run 5 of that map...
Tightniks had taken his anger out on some food and wood to build about 8000 traps. Now he's leaning against a rock spire in his increasingly tattered uniform. A nap begins, perhaps unintentionally.
Wild trimps are examining the pile, finding it unwelcoming, and also finding no place in the town, just mill about. It looks like they want to help.
"Ku?" it's a blue trimp, probably a farmer waiting for stuff to grow, climbs up on the rock spire the human is leaning against, starts patting him on the head, "Ku. Ku ku." [Puchim@s Chihya.]
9h23m09s: Still working that lap...
Tightniks wakes up from that nap, and the grey one is standing there. "Shijou," it says with a note of concern, although not much of one. The note it holds says, "It wasn't me."
"Oh, what wasn't you, buddy?" He stretches out a bit, feeling somewhat refreshed. It feels like somebody washed his face and hair while he was sleeping.
The grey one is also holding a small mirror, apparently broken off from a larger mirror and with the sharp edges filed down to make the edges safe.
The human takes it from the grey trimp and holds it in front of his face to discover that somebody has bound up all his hair into about twenty little pigtails. He touches them with his other hand to confirm. "Eh, whatever." He hands the mirror back and goes back to sleep. [Puchim@s Koamimami.]
9h30m08s: The following run...
"He's not throwing stuff every which way yet," the yellow one whispers to the red one, watching the human snoozing with his pad on his knee.
"You remember that, too?" the red one asks.
"'Remember'?" the yellow one turns to face the red one, "I s'pose that's better than imagining it."
"I remember it, too," the grey one says via a playing card sized note.
"If we're stuck in a time loop," the yellow one sighs, "maybe this cycle will be different."
"Tai..." the grey one admires him for a moment. Then thumbs in the direction of the mountain, "Heh, Shijou!" it laughs.
9h35m58s: Run 8, c9 of that map.
The scientists nap and take notes, and meditate and take notes, and draw stuff. The grey one often storyboards for the other nine because it's the best at drawing stuff. They have come up with a list, and most probably "order" (they're debating whether their ranking means "order" (sequence of things happening over the various loops) or "frequency" (what proportion of previous loops they have happened in). But they've come up with this, from first (or perhaps most often) to most recent (or perhaps least often):
- The ship crashes (they're pretty sure that happens every loop) - The human builds huts - The human teaches some of his trimps to speak and do science - The human builds houses - The human makes maps - The human builds mansions - The human blows up and gets himself killed somewhere around Z17 to Z21, often on a dragimp - The human only recently/occasionally builds hotels - The human only recently/rarely tamed a dragimp - The human only recently/rarely maps the Dimension of Anger
They're all agreed that that they have never finished the Dimension of Anger. What they are not all agreed on is that they've never done this conference to figure out whether they're in a time loop or what that might mean. [See also Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Cause and Effect" ...which was sort of a time loop but they weren't going back in time. It's very interesting, but its meta makes no sense - no one ever went looking for the Bozeman in 80 years? No one who went looking for the Bozeman also got stuck? No one noticed the passage of time outside the little area of space where the not-quite-a-time-loop was happening? Errr... sci-fi writers, don't be half-assed about your time loops, lmao! Be like Harold Ramis- ...what am I saying?? (That would be Groundhog Day, which grafted a time loop into a romcom; there are no other sci-fi elements. But it was a full-blown time loop and not half-assed like "Cause and Effect".)]
9h54m06s: Dropped from Z21c95...
I think it would be a bad idea to bypass that green area, as much as I'd rather not face it. Both his domesticated trimps, which are breeding up a new group of fighters, and the wild trimps he has decided just now not to open the traps for, stare at him and point in that direction. He shoulders a huge Shield V-3 and grabs an Mace IV-2 as well and announces, "We're doing it." Thus equipped, he marches off into the Dimension of Anger.
10h27m53s: Taking Pi4-2; recently had taken Pa4-2...
The group at the front had expired, and the snimp in DoAc95 glares at the advancing colony of trimps, which had halted only because of it. It refuses to counterattack the vulnerable colony and its human, instead snorting and huffing, waiting for the next bunch of 232 fighting trimps to come in range.
Tightniks runs along the line of traps, releasing the recently tamed trimps, singing a song that he doesn't remember the meaning of, that he doesn't remember was crafted by an ethnically Chinese guy out of an African language, and later mastered by two caucasians over the internet before they ever met in person. "Baba yetu yetu uliye, mbinguni yetu yetu amina..." because it just happened to be stuck in his head. [Because the Doylian author decided on a whim to. Christopher Tin got it into Civilization IV and at the time (2010 July), I made the best video for it on YouTube, which got subsequently blown to shreds when Peter Hollens and Malukah re-recorded the song from scratch in their own voices and instruments in 2014, pity with no English translation, the purpose of my video.]
Noticing the last batch of metal he needs coming out of the furnace, he waves the waiting grey scientist to fire up the forge [to use the term properly and not as the game does], for it was time to wrap up the forging dies for the Spetum IV, Mark 2 pike heads.
"Shijou!" the grey one cheers, setting aside a snack that looks like maybe ramen, and starts jumping up and down on the bellows handle.
It takes a while for the human to chip out the tip in the two halves of the forging die, and then polish it, and then heat it up in the forge, and then quench it, inspect it, and put it into service crafting thousands of new pike heads for the fighting trimps.
But only one second passed on the map frame clock (10h27m54s) four cells behind that snimp, in the case being brooded over by this huge, and if it's honest, rather concerned megablimp.
10h35m45: Portal PB, 45 He, 4.247 He/hr, 1891 pop, 22.7s RC with Z20/232, no turkimp.
The last head of the map's boss monster goes limp as one of the fighting trimps' mace heads bounces of it, and the huge thing settles on its tail, resting on the package that seems to be the prize of this map. And there's a popping sound, and then something mechanical.
Is that a scroll compressor? Tightniks looks at the package. The deflating monster's lifting envelope material drapes over everything underneath it. "Red, Shijou!" he snaps and points, "roll up that side of it. Keep this part from sucking down on the extractor nozzle!"
All ten of the scientists jump in, literally, pushing the gas in the bag towards the compressor. Tightniks as well, rolling up the front.
Until he kicks, and nearly trips over, a smaller package that might be the explanation for the reason why the center of the monster's defense seemed to be a little away from the big package he could see. It's in the right place, he realizes. He gets it uncovered and reads stenciled-and-sprayed block letters on it:
"DT TIME PORTAL / THIS SIDE DOWN"
Perhaps the Dimension of Anger is so named because of the rage suddenly rising up in Tightniks' throat. It isn't so much as the free-floating aggression suddenly has an answer, there is definitely a fresh batch of rage and anger as he grips the nearest Mace IV, Mark 3 with both hands and gets it over his shoulder, its target obviously this object, anger at the realization he screams at the top of his lungs, "We are stuck in a mutha FAH-king time loop!!" His swing begins. [Tightniks almost never cusses, unlike Snugniks.]

Just a couple disclaimers: Please be nice, Im already dealing with a difficult situation. Leaving my husband isn't an option, we believe that our daughter needs one set of parents. Thanks :)
My husband , daughter, and Inare currently living with my inlaws. Moving here was last resort and it took a lot of convincing from my husband. The plan was while living here, my husband and I both go to work, and save for a house. We'd have help with the baby and cheap rent. But now our plans have changed.
I have never had an easy relationship with my MIL. She is a very singular person. She has CPTSD, deals with chronic pain and is under tons fo restrictions from drs. She's a very strong and admirable woman. In a lot of ways I look up to her. But I've had my struggles with her. She can be overbearing and an oversharer. She is overly involved in things she doesn't need to be. She offers constant unsolicited advice. And I don't feel like I've ever has a conversation with her that didn't evolve into her talking about her trauma, old family drama, and all the times people offended her. And as much as I want to be understanding of the things she's experienced, I don't really feel like she wants to get to know me and is only treating me like a trashcan for her bad experiences.
I have tried to set boundaries. Im not a good communicator and so it was really difficult for me to sit down with her and discuss what I needed. It was necessary though, especially since I had just given birth to my daughter. I asked her to back off with all the info dumping and trauma dumping (in kinder words but that was the basic gist). And I asked for a couple of other things when it came to our baby. But not too much later, my SIL came after me and accused me of trying to take my child and use her as a pawn to hurt my MIL. (Situations where children were used to hurt people was something that happened in their family unfortunately). I was extremely upset about this and since then not a whole lot has changed. Maybe I just needed to push harder for my needs?
It may not seem like a big deal but this is something that has me particularly upset too. We aren't allowed to use their washer and dryer or our own laundry detergent. I regularly go without clean underwear and work clothes. And I get rashes from the detergents they use. Everytime I've brought this issue up im told that I'm being pushy and expecting too much of my MIL.
There are TONS of other experiences here that have left me pretty disheartened and hurt. I feel like our needs aren't given any kind of consideration.
I don't feel valued here. And my mental health has seriously started to decline. Im struggling to make it to work, be a good DIL be a good mom, be a good wife, and on top of all of that still find time to be good to me. I've been thinking a lot about what the next best course of action is for me and how I can have the space and privacy to work through what I'm feeling. And I came to the conclusion that I need to move out. Whether that was going home to my parents or finding an apartment.
I've always had the mentality that of "if you don't like it leave". It took a lot to convince my husband. It's not easy to tell your partner that their family is the reason you are struggling. It took a lot of tearful conversations. Im not very good at standing up for myself but this is something that I need, especially if I want to be a good mom for our baby.
My husband is particularly upset. He feels that I have not tried hard enough to make this plan work. And he's upset that we are having to change our plans. Especially since part of the plan was sending him to school once we built up some more savings.
But, we put in an application for a cheap apartment her in town. And today we got word that we got it and our move in date is this Friday. And we broke the news to my inlaws and everyone is upset.
They all have their opinions and reasons as to why we can't move. Why it's a bad idea. Why financially we wont be able to pull it off. Even things like how my husband's brother was going to aply for that specific apparment even though we didnt know he was. Im being told that this is a bad impulsive choice even though im prioritizing my mental health. Im having a hard time feeling happy about this move. I'm hoping that maybe by writing this all out maybe I'll get some reassurance that this is the right choice.
Sorry if this was confusing. If something needs clarification please ask. I need just as much help understanding my situation haha

The two-year anniversary of the breakup is really looming over me - it will be May 23rd. Somehow I keep feeling that it’s a kind of milestone, that I need to find closure by then, or make some dramatic gesture, or take some significant action.
Part of me just wants it to be over with and passed, with me having done nothing and said nothing to anyone but my therapist and Reddit. The goal is just to keep my head down, to act as much as possible like it’s any other day, and just keep doing the work of trying to rebuild my life one day at a time. The more I ponder what I long for when I wish for closure, the more I’m convinced that closure is something I can’t have except by time passing.
I miss the innocence of when Clive and I were just platonic friends, when I could still think he was a wonderful person I was lucky to get to hang out with. I miss hanging out with Oonagh, and him, and John at their house. I spent two Christmases with them. At least it’s true that the long battle with grief has beaten a lot of the nostalgia out of me. I don’t remember the good times well enough to miss them as much as I used to - the horror of the breakup, and of him telling me he’d never cared about me and was just using me the whole time, has been at the forefront of my consciousness for two years now.
But I just feel like my psyche is playing all these weird tricks on me where the breakup-anniversary is concerned. I know it’s all a mirage and an illusion - the two-year mark, objectively, has no significance. One of the tricks it’s playing on me is this sense that if I can just get past it without doing or saying anything crazy to anyone, I can breathe more freely, and make a new start at putting it behind me.
I did two tarot readings this week, one yesterday and one today. Yesterday I asked, “How should I regard the upcoming anniversary of the breakup?” I did a four-card “situation reading” spread. The top card, the heart of the matter, was the Two of Pentacles. This is the card of someone trying to juggle and balance things against a background of a roiling sea. It’s a symbol of having to handle a lot of things all at once and balance competing demands. Which is accurate, between work and parenting and trying to have a social life and heal from trauma and improve my fitness and eat and sleep and keep two households running in two states, and keep to a meticulous habit of budgeting and tracking my financial accounts.
The three “contributing factors” cards underneath were the Queen of Cups, the Chariot, and the Ace of Pentacles. The Queen of Cups is clearly meant to be me - sensitive and perceptive, with knowledge, experience, and authority. Her perceptiveness helps heal others, but her sensitivity cuts both ways, making her vulnerable as well as powerful. The Chariot represents strength of will and determination, the potential for movement and triumph. The Ace of Pentacles is a very lucky card - a beginning, like all the aces, with the potential for great prosperity or a windfall of wealth. So, I think the tarot was telling me that it’s going to be a rough period of time with a lot for me to handle. The energy I bring to it is that of a perceptive person who is powerful and has healing gifts, but who is also very vulnerable for the same reasons she is powerful. I have the power to get through this difficult period with strength of will, and when I do it will be the start of a period of prospering in body and soul.
Today, I kept imagining scenarios where I would try to speak up about what Clive did, in order to protect others. I asked the tarot, “If I spoke up again about what happened, could I help protect others without excessive harm to myself or putting myself in too much danger?”
This time the heart of the matter was the Nine of Cups - the card of the heart’s wishes being granted. The three contributing factor cards were the Hierophant, the Two of Wands, and Temperance. This seems like, overall, a very positive reading. The Hierophant is about learning and finding a teacher. The Two of Wands is about vision and determination, making a decision based on courage and will rather than emotions (cups), logic (swords), or practical considerations (pentacles). And Temperance is about exercising restraint and self-control. I think what’s it’s telling me is that yes, I can speak my truth and try to protect others. But, I have to keep trying to learn more, to listen and continue trying to understand - I have to have the humility to realize I have blind spots and gaps of knowledge, so I need to stay open-minded. I need to be courageous and determined to do right by people, and I need to act with restraint and patience, waiting until the time is right. I can speak up, but maybe not right now - I have to wait until the time is right and make sure I’m choosing the right people to communicate with in the most effective way. If I do all this, I can have my heart’s wish, to protect others while also not endangering myself or setting back my own healing.
I was a little confused initially about how to interpret this reading, and thought maybe it was giving me a green light to reach out to Oonagh and ask her for a conversation. But when I sat down to try to think what I could say to her, I couldn’t get out a letter I was happy with, and in writing it, it was all too clear that trying to communicate with her that way would be disastrous and pointless. I remembered all the reasons why I decided I couldn’t trust her and felt that talking more with her could do no good. So I posted the letter in UnsentLetters, because it’s very therapeutic to not send such letters, and to post them on Reddit instead.

Not sure if this is the right place but it seems close enough at least. I'm a US citizen, born here, marrying a non-US citizen. He's from Europe, Germany specifically, also born there. I'm wondering about the logistics of doing a courthouse wedding here, like what documents need to be filed on his side and/or mine. I have several forms of ID here and he will also. And just in case anyone's concerned reading this, we've met multiple times and he's not interested in my green card. I'm from Wisconsin and we will be performing this on Wisconsin. Thanks in advance, sorry if this is the wrong place

By popular demand, I guess...
I was kinda just being a smart-ass, but some of you wanted more so here it is: epilogues for every NPC as if they didn't continue to travel with Gorion's Ward and instead just decided to live their own life. Obviously, there are some implied alignment changes here.
This turned out to be longer than I expected and I kinda just threw it all together while I was working. Please excuse any typos or sloppy writing.
I want to apologize for one thing, though. Viconia's epilogue really only works if GW is a male, so I had to make that assumption for the sake of her story. If it matters any, I easily play just as many female GWs as I do male GWs. In fact, I probably play more female GWs because I don't care for the romances, frequently play the canon party, and want to nip the lame Jah romance in the bud.
But, to have them all in one place, I included my original smart-ass epilogues with the additional ones I created. Now, every character from BG1 and BG2 has an epilogue. I don't have the EE characters, though, because I play the original games and don't really know them.
So, just for funsies, which one is your favorite and why?
"Anomen continued to wait at the Copper Coronet for a party of adventurers willing to travel with him. Maybe it was the grating sound of his voice, or perhaps the way he leered at women, but he continued to remain alone. Eventually, he needed to find work to make ends meet. With Gorion's Ward having disbanded the slave traders and pit fights, Hendak had to find a new form of entertainment for the patrons. As such, he invented an all male review ladies night, and Anomen found work as a 'dancer'. He left the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart to join the less noble order of the pole. He also renounced his faith to Helm and instead allied himself with Waukeen because if you wanna see some groin, you gotta have some coin."
"Despite Gorion's Ward clearing the trolls from her keep, Nalia was not able to reclaim her lands and instead lost her estate to Lord Roenall. The lord offered to let her retain residence in her family's ancestral home, but only in exchange for her hand in marriage. Nalia found the proposition to be repugnant. Instead, she salvaged whatever wealth she could from her family's keep and moved to Athkatla to start a new life. She no longer helped the less fortunate, as she was now among their numbers and had her own problems. Nalia's lack of any practical skills combined with her sense of entitlement sent her into a life of failure followed by drinking and debauchery. She now spends more time back at the Copper Coronet than anywhere else. It is hard to say where she squanders her wealth more, the alcohol, or on the dancers during Ladies Night."
"After the incident with the Planar Sphere, Valygar was finally free of his past, could retire to his cabin, and pursue his true passion: writing. Ironically, the only inspiration he found ended up stemming from his family's checkered past. Valygar's only works that even had middling success were 'Tuesdays with Lavok' and 'Dude, Where's My Planar Sphere', with the latter being made into a production at the Five Flagoons Theater."
"Haer'Dalis continued to work as a performer at the Five Flagoons Theater. Unfortunately, it struggled due to poor management. It might have turned out better if an outside agent with fresh ideas had stepped in, but Gorion's Ward had better things to do than be a bard. While the work was generally steady, the returns were not great and the material was a little low-brow for Haer'Dalis' liking. The tiefling realized he reached rock bottom when he was cast as the lead in a play about a buffoon who apparently lost a plane-shifting apparatus the size of a small castle and had to find it before his parents returned from Neverwinter. After the opening night, he took his own life in his dressing room. His body was found the next morning with a note saying, 'Art is dead and I am art, so I shall join art in death.' Biff the Understudy stepped in for Haer'Dalis despite never having an opportunity to read the script. Nevertheless, the production was a resounding success and launched Biff's career to new heights."
“A heartbroken Garrick found work as a character actor at the Five Flagoons Theater, but eventually gained more success as a writer and director. He found it to be a mostly agreeable situation, aside from a tiefling primadonna who would constantly belittle his work and call it ”trite" and “drivel”. Fortunately, that situation worked itself out in time and Garrick found Biff to be much easier to direct. With the tiefling gone, his ideas had room to grow. He invented a new kind of love story, one where the protagonist doesn't always get the girl at the end but the journey to that ending would be quite amusing. He labeled this genre “the Comedy of Romance” and the works were mostly based on his own life. His plays were quite popular among the commoners, with his top selling shows being 'Sleepless in Saradush', 'Silverymoon Linings Playbook', and 'Crazy Rich Aasimars'. He eventually fully transitioned off the stage into the director's chair. By the peak of his fame, he was married to none other than Queen Ellesime."
“Aerie continued to work at the circus and WOULD NOT SHUT UP ABOUT HER DAMN WINGS. Even Quayle eventually grew sick of hearing about it. This put strain on their relationship. Things took a turn for the better when Ribald Barterman acquired a new curiosity for his shop. It was a magical ring which he sold to Quayle at a reduced rate out of sympathy. This ”treasure" was actually a cursed Ring of Deafness, which Quayle found to be anything but a curse and wore it for the rest of his days."
“Xzar and Montaron were both slain at the hands of the Athkatla Harpers, but this is actually where their story begins. Xzar, as he had done so many times before, had a backup plan of an arcane nature should death befall either he or the halfling. Their mortal essences were pulled to a pocket plane he created. There they could be channeled into restored bodies cloned at his estate. With this particular round of ritual, Xzar had incidentally made a slight error in the incantation and the two found themselves in a time suspended state in Xzar's pocket plane. It was only five minutes for the rest of the world, but it was fifty years for them. This turned out to be a pivot point in their relationship. Having only each other's company in this shadowy void, they were finally able to work out their feelings for each other. When they had returned to the prime material plane, they discovered their mutual animosity was replaced with love. Rather than pick up their life where they left off with the Zhentarim, they decided to pack it all in, moved to Bryn Shander, and start a bed and breakfast. Montaron rediscovered his halfling roots and love for the culinary arts while Xzar would perform seances to connect guests with their late loved ones. Scones and Bones became an overnight success and was consistently listed as a “must see” in Volo's travel guides. In their golden years, the couple co-wrote a memoir of their journey, ‘Brokeback Montaron’, which is sold in bookstores everywhere."
“After briefly crossing paths with Gorion's Ward, Mazzy Fentan continued her crusade as a de facto halfling paladin. She eventually found herself petitioning for membership at the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart in Athkatla after she had singlehandedly saved a village from an ancient dracolich. Despite the extent of her virtue and accomplishment, her petition was denied on the basis that halflings could not possibly be real paladins. This inspired her next crusade, one to break down vocational barriers for all demihuman races. Why couldn't halflings be paladins or dwarves be wizards? And why did gnomes always have to be illusionists? It simply made no goddamn sense. She began to get traction with her quest when she attended lectures by the wizards of the (sword) coast in Candlekeep. With their help, she ushered Faerun into a new edition era where there would be no vocational barriers for adventurers based on their race. Soon, the world began to see roguish halflings that also venerated Helm, while tending to the wilds as a druid. Half-orc bards also studied as wizards while manifesting natural arcane abilities as sorcerers. Tiefling paladins took their crusades to the wilderness and served as rangers, while sidelining as clergy to Mystra. The world was now a liberated place, free to not make any goddamn sense in a myriad of new ways. At one point, Lady Mazzy Fentan of Trademeet (now formally a paladin) crossed paths with a dwarven shadowdancebard and in that moment she regretted everything. Seriously, just take a moment and picture that. It would look fucking ridiculous.”
“Yeslick's clanhome was flooded once again. Despondent and without options, he took work at a smithy in Baldur's Gate but never stopped dreaming of finding both a clan and a home. He found a way to bring this dream to life after a courageous halfling paladin broke down the barriers for, among other things, dwarves to be wizards. Yeslick had an idea. He studied magic diligently until he was able to cast two spells of great importance: Water Breathing and Permanence. He then searched the lands for other clanless dwarves who would be willing to try something new. With the new clan he formed, Yeslick permanently gave all his fellow clansman the ability to breath underwater. They then moved into the flooded Cloakwood Mines and built the first underwater dwarven stronghold. Using his arcane powers, Yeslick also developed the ability to speak with the marine life that shared this stronghold. And, with that, the clan Aquadwarf was born. At one point, Valygar visited and wrote a play based on Yeslick's story. However, he couldn't even get it to stage at the Five Flagoons Theater. The illustrious director Garrick was quoted as saying, “A hero that can breath underwater and talk to fish? Nobody would go for that!"
“Keldorn finally retired from the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart and looked forward to a much simpler life. He rekindled his marriage with Lady Maria and life seemed to improve. It was rather early on when the couple discovered that Maria had become pregnant again. It was also not long after that when Peony, the housekeeper, also became pregnant. Maria started to ask Keldorn about this, but Keldorn started to get defensive and asked, ”Hey, who's the Inquisitor here?" Then Keldorn started to do the math with her to track the conception of Maria's pregnancy. She certainly did not want him to get to the end of that equation, so she quickly changed the subject. She suggested getting a new maid, but Keldorn chastised her for abandoning someone in their time of need who had been like family for years. He forbade Peony's departure claiming that his god, Torm, would not stand for it. Maria then made a passive aggressive comment about Torm being the god of loyalty, but she was mostly just muttering under her breath to get the last word in. Eventually, both children were born and had probably the most awkward upbringing of anyone in Faerun."
“After Gorion's Ward helped Coran take down a wyvern, the rogue brought the beast's head back to the mayor of Beregost for the reward and accolades. He thought this put him in a position to be a hero of great renown and perhaps, just maybe, people would stop mocking him for his flashy attire and completely superfluous eye mask. They didn't. He only gained acceptance when he crossed paths with a ranger who seemed indifferent towards Coran's keen fashion sense. Coran traveled the Sword Coast with his ranger sidekick, righting the wrongs against the ‘little guy’ and taking the law into their own hands when needed. This partnership dissolved when he discovered that the ranger thought Coran was the sidekick. As if! Coran tried to correct the ranger, whose argument was, 'Really, man, if that outfit doesn't scream sidekick then I'm Elminster's twin brother.' The ranger was not related to Elminster and shared no resemblance.
“Kivan never was able to get his revenge on Tazok. Unbeknownst to him, that honor was taken by Gorion's Ward. His thirst for vengeance continued to eat away at him until he found himself in a bat infested cave in the wilderness. It was then he snapped. He turned the cave into his secret hideaway, put together a disguise and started wandering the sword coast looking for evil-doers to punish. He would leave his calling card wherever he saved the day, a token of a bat with longer ears like an elf. And bats already had rather long ears so these bat ears were almost comically obtrusive. Nevertheless, his deeds were generally appreciated and the people stared calling him Bat-elf. For a short spell, another elf tagged along with him and tried to help, but he was so flamboyantly dressed that one could pick his sidekick out of the shadows blindfolded. Kivan eventually had to send him on his way. Unfortunately, his vigilante crusade abruptly ended after receiving a cease and decist order from DC Comics. Kivan could fight both monster and marauder all day, but his 14 Constitution wouldn't hold up against a lawsuit for trademark infringement.”
“Skie was deeply affected by both the death of her brother and the assassination of her father. And yes, her father was actually murdered and didn't lol-jk back to life in some crappy DLC. In any event, through these traumas, she came to realize the puerility of what she thought was her brilliant criminal masterminding. Instead, she decided to settle down and live a more responsible life as an upstanding citizen of Baldur's Gate. She took the reins of her father's estate after his death and rose to prominence as one of the Grand Dukes of the city. She maintained her relationship with Eldoth for quite some time, inexplicably, as he refused to get a job because he didn't want to take attention from his band which he swore was going to make it. However, the bard spent most of the day either lounging at Skie’s estate or gambling away his allowance with games of three-dragon-ante at the Helm and Cloak. Eventually, inspired by the book “Men Are From Menzoberranzan, Women Are From Immilmar," she decided to call it quits with Eldoth and sent him packing. Shortly thereafter, she met a man who was nothing like Eldoth and they settled down together to start a family."
“Eldoth's dreams of being a world-famous musician fronting the greatest band in Faerun never reached fruition. This was partly because he didn't actually have a band and partly because he didn't have the talent to write music. Instead, he just had a lute he purchased at Lucky Aello's Discount Store that only had one A-string and was missing the E-string. Also, Eldoth could only play power chords and he couldn't really sing and play at the same time. Most of the time he would just strum a chord or two and then talk about what the song would do next, often describing a solo and half playing it on an ”air lute" (while he was still holding an actual lute, mind you) to give people the idea as to how the song would sound when it was finally written. Yeah, he was one of those guys. After Skie kicked him to the curb, he bounced between various barmaids who clearly had low self-esteem, but not low enough to keep him around for long. Eventually, he got one of them pregnant and was forced into a shotgun wedding by the barmaid's father. He now works in the kitchen at the same inn as his barmaid wife. She helps the customers up front and he cooks eggs in the back. Eldoth continues to tell himself that this experience will just provide inspiration for his music and that someday he was going to get the band back together."
“After being rescued by Gorion's Ward, Xan made his way to Baldur's Gate to regroup. He spent an inordinate amount of time beating himself up over his failures and trying to muster the gumption to continue his quest to unravel the political turmoil of the region. However, it took him months to get to this point, and by that time, Gorion's Ward already sorted out the problems in the region. Discovering this, he deemed himself a failure yet again and sunk into a deeper depression. He pulled himself out of it when he met a woman who lost most of her family to violent deaths during the iron crisis, yet she still kept herself together and became a local success in a few short years. Xan immediately fell in love with the recently single Skie Silvershield and began to court her. They eventually married and started a family. At Xan's insistence, and inspired by his wife's name, their two daughters were named Sunshine and Rainbow. Xan was a staunch supporter of his wife's career and stayed home to raise the kids. When they were older and needed less attending, he followed a new dream and became a motivational speaker.”
“Korgan had his revenge against his backstabbing crew and employer, but he felt...empty. It was done, but he felt no satisfaction. Disgruntled and disappointed, he decided to lose himself in his cups at the Copper Coronet. Even this did nothing to alleviate his malaise. One night, having passed out drunk in a peasant room at the Copper Coronet, he dreamt of that final fight but something was different. In the background of the battle, there was a glow coming from the door of a shack and he heard the whispering of a language that sounded like it was from Kara-Tur. When he woke the next morning, Korgan returned to the rooftop and found the shack from his dream. He knocked and was greeted by a priest of Illmater. Korgan told the priest of his dream and he was led into the backroom where he found a man from Kara-Tur infirm and huddled over a cup of tea. The priest explained that he had just reincarnated this man of the faith using a heart delivered by a passing adventurer. Korgan took this as a sign, converted to the faith, and the two paired up to help those in suffering as a result of the schemes of others. The tales of Korgan and Yoshimo were not only told in many of a tavern by the bards, but also collected in graphic serials that were popular among the children of Athkatla.”
“Ajantis' death sent him into an afterlife at Everwatch, the realm of Helm. For his honor and diligence, the devout knight was granted an audience with his patron. Ajantis then told Helm what utter bullshit the god was. I mean, c'mon, he's the god of protection, the Vigilant One, and he couldn't protect a group of knights from a dragon's cheap illusion spell that a mage even tried to dispel with True Sight? It was like Helm wasn't even trying. Helm was stunned by the confrontation but also had no valid defense. Ajantis called Helm to a trial that was mediated by Tyr. After careful deliberation, Tyr determined that Helm was sleeping on the job and the judgment was to demote him to a lesser deity. Now, Helm was the patron of guards, but not actual guards that ever see action, just the ceremonial ones whose weapons and armor are super shiny and probably not even real. Ajantis was then granted Helm's old portfolio and became a god that truly protected his followers.”
“Viconia left Athkatla's government district perplexed. She was rescued from burning at the stake by Gorion's Ward and then immediately dismissed. She found this to be unusual behavior for a male. She was accustomed to men either trying to bed her or kill her, but this casual indifference was completely new. Viconia came to be obsessed with Gorion's Ward from a distance. She spiraled into a fantasy where the two of them had a future together. It was pretty bad. There were some extremely embarrassing vision boards involved and that wasn't even the worst of it. When her mania reached critical mass, her obsession actually collapsed and she had an epiphany. She came to realize that she did not need this man, or any for that matter. She started on a journey of self discovery and took a moral inventory of her past relationships. She wrote about it in the book, “Men Are From Menzoberranzan, Women Are From Immilmar”. She then used the revenue from the book sales to open Athkatla's first feminist bookstore. In Her Words became a mecca for women, particularly those who felt trapped in bad relationships. The community that emerged here created the group, Friends of Galia, which strove to free women from abusive relationships. Eventually, the bookstore expanded to include an apartment block above that became a shelter for such women. Occasionally, the partners of these victims would come around to In Her Words in an attempt to drag their partners back home. You can probably guess how a confrontation between a drunken 0-level commoner and a Drow priestess of Shar ends."
“Faldorn was defeated by Jaheira in Trademeet and lost her title of Arch-Druid. In truth, she was relieved to be relieved of the position. Years of pushing forward the Shadow Druid agenda led Faldorn to realize that she had lost touch with the real Faldorn along the way. After some soul-searching, she reinvented herself as a lifestyle guru and developed an entire line of organic health and beauty products under the name, She-Wolf. Both her products and seminars were all the rage in Athkatla, specifically among noblewomen who clearly had too much free time. Faldorn eventually gave up her residence in natural environs for a lavish estate in Athkatla's government district. Her following soon pressured her to petition to join the Council of Six after the fall of the Cowled Wizards left the position open (aside from a short-term replacement). Her petition was a success and she soon found herself on the Council of Six. Under her leadership, she created created the FDAA, the Food and Drink Association of Athkatla. Now, instead of draconian rules governing magic in the city, equally restrictive rules and standards were applied to the food and drink that the people consumed.”
“Barely surviving being gravely wounded by Irenicus, Tiax left Spellhold for Athkatla where he intended to do what he did best: rule. Learning from his past campaign mistakes in Baldur's Gate, he changed his slogan from ”Tiax Rules!" to “Make Athkatla Great Again”. Of course, what he thought would make Athkatla great was putting himself in charge as a despotic leader. But, he toned down that aspect of his platform and instead focused on the history of scheming and backroom dealing of the Cowled Wizards (as if he was any less evil or scheming) and promised the people he would be different than all the other corrupt politicians. Miraculously, despite his obviously apparent character flaws, he succeeded in replacing the Cowled Wizards' representative on the Council of Six. He decided to take their stance on restrictive magic to the next level and banned magic entirely. Since he didn't study the arcane himself, it was no skin of his nose. This move undermined his support base leaving him with only the most backwards and ignorant followers. He was ultimately removed from his position when he insisted the city build a wall around the planar sphere and was expecting that the city's wizards would be the ones to pay for it. After his removal, his few remaining extreme supporters organized an invasion of the main government building under the guise of freedom of assembly. All nine of these “rebels” were rounded up, tried, and sent to prison. Tiax was convicted of treason and reincarnated in Spellhold, which was now just a common prison. After his eventual release, he was prohibited from seeking any position of power in Amn."
"Edwin Odesseiron continued to lay low with the Shadow Thieves for a while. The Cowled Wizards suffered a crippling blow as a side effect of the conflict between Gorion's Ward and Irenicus. Edwin decided to step in and finish the job. His thought was that he could wipe out the Cowled Wizard remnants and then take credit for their defeat, thereby gaining him more clout among the Red Wizards of Thay. After many conspicuous mage battles in the streets of Athkatla, he succeeded. However, the people who noticed his efforts the most were actually the people of Athkatla. They were tired of living under the Cowled Wizards' iron fist and Edwin was lauded as a liberator and hero. He even had a statue in his image raised in Waukeen's Promenade. Edwin was initially nonplussed over people finally giving him the credit he always felt he so rightfully deserved. But, he quickly came to accept their praise and bought in to being a champion for the people. Edwin continued his agenda of liberation when a clearly insane gnome who found his way on the Council of Six tried to ban magic entirely in the city. Edwin and his followers were primarily responsible for having the madman removed from his seat.
“Shar-Teel, Safana, Branwen, and Alora all happened to cross paths with each other at Elfsong one evening. Shar-Teel was looking to fight a man, Safana was looking to shag a man, Branwen was recently petrified by a man, and Alora was just excited to be somewhere new. The four got to talking with each other and, despite having wildly different personalities, seemed to hit it off. Shar-Teel was sarcastic and aggressive, Safana was self-absorbed and man-hungry, Alora was kind and sweet, and Branwen was the matriarch of the group. You wouldn't think this lot would get along, but they actually did, and their differences merely become the fuel for innocuous hi-jinks week after week.”
"With Gorion's Ward's help, Cernd was able to rescue his child that he then abandoned again at the druid grove near Trademeet. He promised that he would return to raise the child, he just needed to run to the general shop in Trademeet for some pipeweed. He never returned, but that was pretty obvious since he didn’t even smoke. Cernd continued to wander Faerun. It came to light in Cormyr that Cernd had actually married, and had children, with numerous women in Cormyr, Amn, the Sword Coast, Tethyr, Calimshan, Turmish, Halruaa, Icewind Dale, Chondath, Sembia, Impiltur, the Silver Marches, and even the Troll Hills (don't ask). Furthermore, it was discovered that Cernd was not actually a druid, just a werewolf that had a Ring of Goodberries. The druid con was so that he could have a reason to abandon his wives and children and move on to a new situation. You would be surprised at how many women could fall for a guy that can conjure an impromptu picnic in the park. Unfortunately for Cernd, Cormyr was not the kind of place to run afoul of the legal system. For the crime of bigamy, he was sentenced to life in prison. He never set foot near a druid grove again, but he was allowed to participate in a work-release program tending to the gardens of nobles.
“Kagain returned to his shop and grew even more bitter, but not over what the death of Entar Silvershield's son had done to his reputation and business. Instead, he resented that even the Enhanced Edition of the game didn't give him a remotely decent companion quest. By Moradin's hammer, Cernd even had a pretty involved companion quest and the story there both starts and ends with a deadbeat dad! Also, Kagain can regenerate! Korgan can't even do that. And another thing! He was sick of people confusing the two of them as if all dwarves look alike or something. Ok, granted, they're both old dwarves with greying beards, but Korgan's beard is tied while Kagain's beard is brushed out. Of course, none of this made sense to anyone, even to Kagain who never actually crossed paths with Cernd or Korgan. However, the dwarf had nothing to do with his time except stand in his shop, isolated and alone, until he was done in by insanity and plantar fasciitis.”
“The death of Khalid shook Jaheira to the core. She convinced herself that she could never love again, certainly not so soon after his death nor with anyone that would be a child in her eyes. That would be absurd and rather tacky. After her escape from Irenicus' prison and deposing Faldorn from the druid grove, she took over as Arch-Druid. Being a Harper just wouldn't be the same without Khalid. However, the grove would allow her to explore a new, but comfortingly familiar, phase of life. She had barely been installed as the Arch-Druid when Cernd dropped off his child and disappeared again. He did not even stay long enough to tell Jaheira the child's name. Knowing he would likely not return, she named the child Khalid after her lost love. Realizing there were other children our there without families to care for them, Jahaeira would send her subordinates to wander nearby lands and bring them to the grove for a better life. Perhaps not surprisingly, many of these children happened to be Cernd's. She eventually renamed the grove to Kinder Garden in honor of the grove's new purpose of giving these children a kinder upbringing. Jaheira's headstrong personality served her well with these lost children, who all loved her as they would any mother. The Kinder Garden became the most thriving druid grove in all of Faerun. Jaheira eventually died in 1547 DR, with hundreds of children haven been rescued in her lifetime, and a memorial was erected in her honor at the grove. The inscription read, 'Nature's Servant Awaits.'"
“After being freed from Irenicus' dungeon, Minsc put his boots on the ground at the Copper Coronet. Being the simple man that he was, he found himself unwittingly recruited into fighting in the gladiator pits (before Gorion's Ward was able to free the slaves). Yet again, Minsc took a blow to the head. But this time, its effects were something completely new. No longer was he the slow-witted evil-slaying ranger, armed to the teeth and packing a hamster. Instead, his intelligence and wisdom started to blossom and he explored, through dissertation, the impact of modern civilization on the overall ecosystem of Faerun. Indeed, before Minsc started his work, the people of Faerun didn't even have the concept of an ”ecosystem". He left Athkatla to pursue a residency at Jaheira's grove where he could study and work in peace. He published works like, “The Intersection of Geopolitics and Biodiversity: Living More but Dying Sooner”, “The Essential Symbiosis Between the Savage and Civilization”, and “Moral Urbanization: Seeking a More Comprehensive Prosperity”. Minsc continued his studies and writing and ultimately produced enough groundbreaking works to have his own annex in Candlekeep. It was shortly after the dedication of this annex that Minsc disappeared from Faerun, never to be seen again."
“Jan Jansen's fate was the most impressive of all as his endeavors shaped the very fabric of Faerun for centuries to come. His story truly serves as a moral lesson for everyone and we should heed its virtue quite seriously. Helping Lissa and Jaella planted a seed of regret in Lissa with regards to her marriage to Vaelag. Speaking of seeds, this reminds Jan of a time when he was helping his Uncle Scratchy with his turnip farm. However, Uncle Scratchy was hoodwinked and the seeds he received were actually purple carrot seeds. You can imagine Uncle Scratchy's surprise when they sprouted and he suddenly had a field of purple carrots. Well, as you probably know, you can't make turnip stew, or turnip casserole, or turnip pie with purple carrots. But it just so happened there was a mage tower nearby and the resident mage needed a vast number of carrots. Apparently, her plan was to animate them as a kind of vegetable army to combat a myconid infestation in cave system rather close to her tower. Of course, animated carrots are quite self-assured and were immune to myconoid's confusion spores. Anyway, Jan had a once-removed cousin, Bobil, that was lost in those caves when he was a young gnome. He had wandered so deep that he found himself in the den of a solitary xvart who was obsessed with a magic ring. Bobil happened to purloin that ring but it turned out to not be magic at all. However, it was still worth enough for Bobil to buy himself a nice cottage in Trademeet. He then started his own turnip farm and had better luck than Uncle Scratchy. Wait, what were we talking about, again?”
“Boo continued his mission to study the sentient life forms of Faerun and determine their potential impact on the metaverse. He preferred the continued company of Minsc due to the ranger's kindness and protectiveness. Boo found this to be quite valuable in his current miniaturized state. Even after Minsc's accident, where his intellect began to expand, Minsc never lost his good heart and inherent kindness and the two remained the best of friends. It was a number of years later that the term of Boo's mission was complete. A team of his fellow people arrived on a spelljammer to collect the giant miniaturized space hamster. Minsc (and Boo) were on a retreat in a remote part of the Neverwinter Wood when a vessel shaped like a giant acorn landed in a nearby clearing. A number of human-sized anthropomorphic hamster-like beings, who called themselves the Ysoki, emerged and met with Boo. One had a strange crystalline device which it used to restore Boo to his proper size. Minsc naturally remained composed while all this was happening. He and Boo talked often and he knew this day would be coming. Boo returned to the spelljammer with his brethren to debrief on the mission. The Ysoki wanted to bring a sample back to their homeworld for further learning and study. Boo offered Minsc for the task, as the exemplar human would fit in nicely with the Ysoki's advanced culture and society. Everyone was in agreement and made the offer to the ranger. Minsc felt like he had made every contribution he could to the people of Faerun, so he accepted and boarded the ship. Boo, excited to finally be on a spelljammer again, took the helm and plotted a course for his homeworld. At his side sat his friend and faithful companion, Minsc.”

I just want to preface this with there is NO set markup for all builders. Every company is different. Different overhead. Different profit. When people say a “20%” standard, they have no idea what they are talking about or they are feeding you a bunch of BS. Production builders are able to charge a lower markup because they have a larger gross revenue. Custom builders that only do a few houses a year have larger markups because they have less gross revenue. Or they can have a lower markup because they have lower overhead or set their net margin at a lower number. The numbers are what they are. There is a reason that 95% of contractors go out of business within the first few years. They might be good at their trade but they are terrible at their numbers. Never go with a cost plus contractor. It is guaranteed that the number they give you is a low ball number to get the job. 100% of cost plus jobs will end at least 30-40% higher than what was originally quoted. Or they will never be completed. What happens then? Here are a few things I would like the cost plus guys to mull over and answer as well as the attorneys I have seen commenting on CP contracts:

1. There is no universal definition of Cost Plus or Time & Material Contracts or billing, thus creating confusion and misunderstandings almost immediately in any contract. Attorneys practicing law in the same town will often have different definitions of what is a Cost Plus or Time & Material Contract.
   
2. Lenders often will not lend on Cost Plus or Time & Material jobs unless there is a "not to exceed" clause. When the job goes beyond the not to exceed clause, you must have written authorization to do that work (signed, dated and completely priced out on a Change Work Order) or your client is not obligated to pay you for the work.
   
3. Some states now have laws that specifically prohibit the use of Cost Plus contracts.
   
4. Based on discussions with attorneys Cost Plus or Time & Material jobs generate lawsuits at a rate of 3 to 1, and arbitrations at 9 to 1 over Fixed Figure contracts.
   
5. Cost Plus or Time & Material contracts are an easy way out of doing detailed project study and estimating. This increases the chances that the original "estimate" for work to be done will be low to very low. You risk accusations of violating the Good Faith & Fair Dealing law for "low balling" estimates. An estimate below the actual price will lead to a fight over money when the real costs start the original estimate. coming in, and the client is requested to pay more for the job than
   
6. Because of the perception that on Cost Plus or Time & Material contracts the owner is required to pay for absolutely everything, many contractors do not write out Change Work Orders and have the owner sign them, falsely believing that they (the contractor) will be paid for all the work that they do on that job.
   
7. Owners often go into a Cost Plus contract thinking they have ample money to cover the job. When the job reaches the 60 percent to 80 percent completion point, and the owners have made multiple changes to the job increasing the cost, they run out of money. Their claim will be that the contractor overcharged from the start of the job, and the contractor will be expected to finish
   
8. For your own protection, you must keep an accurate day-to-day log of all labor, materials, subcontract and other fees or costs on the job to be able to verify your actual expenses to date. If you do not, depending on your contract, you may not be able to collect for undocumented expenses, regardless of what they are or how much work has been done.
   
9. In addition, you must have in your possession every document from the job that has incurred a cost. This includes all time cards, invoices, or any other papers related to the project. If you lose any item, you may not be paid for it.
   
10. With the need to keep very careful records on the jobs, you substantially increase the amount of meeting and preparatory time necessary for the job. Often this time will be three to four times the amount of time necessary to complete a Fixed Figure contract. Cost Plus or Time & Material jobs require at least two, and often three times as many meetings with the client to review job progress, billings, invoices, labor, etc. Who pays for the meeting time and the extra administration time to prep all the documents for labor and invoices from subs and suppliers?
    
11. Who draws the plans and gets the permits on a Cost Plus or Time & Material job? If a mistake is made on the plans, who pays for the time it takes to redraw the plans; and who pays to tear out the mistake and rebuild it?
    
12. Who pays for the engineering if the owner forgets to include it on the plans that they provide; and who pays for your downtime while you wait for these revisions?
    
13. Suppose engineering on a portion of the job gets by the plans examiner, the inspector catches the problem, and the job has to shut down until the engineering is complete and new plans are drawn and ready to use. Who pays for the new plans and delays? Who pays for tearing out the wrong structural work completed, and the materials that are ruined due to tear out? Who pays for the additional labor needed to correct the problem? Who pays for the downtime for you and your crew, driving time; restart up time?
    
14. Will the owner be willing to pay for your travel time to and from your office for meetings or discussions on problems that might arise on the job; or from the jobsite to your suppliers and back to the job site for material pickup that either they or you forgot?
    
15. If you make a mistake on a Cost Plus or Time & Material job, who pays for it? Do you donate your time or is the client willing to pay For it? Who pays for ruined materials? Who pays to go get the new materials and the cost of the vehicle expense to do the pickup?
    
16. Who makes up the material lists for jobs with Cost Plus or Time & Material contracts that are needed before the job starts? If you do, will you be paid for that time?
    
17. Owners are far more prone to want to furnish some or all of the materials for their jobs when using a Cost Plus or Time & Material contract. The contractor is expected to guarantee those materials when installed, not to mention losing the markup on those materials. Who pays for the time to replace defective materials supplied by the owner?
    
18. What happens when the owner is to supply some of the materials and they forget to buy a certain item or don't know what materials to bring to the jobsite? Who pays to get the forgotten items? What happens if it takes the owner two or three days (or longer) to get the needed materials to the jobsite? What do you and your crews do in the meantime, and who pays for that downtime?
    
19. The owner goes to your supplier (with your permission) and charges materials for the job to your account. What happens if you send the owner to a certain supplier you normally use for materials, he purchases the materials, and then later claims that he could have purchased the same materials at another location at a better price? You gave him the higher priced supplier to go to, so you are responsible for the difference in cost.
    
20. Cost Plus or Time & Material reviews show owners what you're paying for materials. This will increase the probability of complaints from owners that they could have bought the same item elsewhere for less money. It also leads to owners believing they only have to pay the amount that they could have bought the materials for.
    
21. Owners expect you to be fully productive on their jobs for 8 hours a day. They will be looking over your shoulder constantly. You will seldom, if ever, get the job done as quickly as they are expecting you to do it. Will they be willing to pay for your state's mandated morning and afternoon breaks for your employees? Will they be willing to pay for smoke breaks, coffee breaks, mobile phone time? Will they pay for the time for you or one of your employees to escort an inspector through the job and answer questions? Who pays for the labor and materials to do required changes?
    
22. The contractor must be far more diligent in policing employees so that they are productive on the job at all times, with no miscellaneous discussions or activities on or about anything other than the job they are working on. Again, this pertains to starting and quitting times, smoke breaks, coffee breaks, mobile phone time.
    
23. It is very difficult to "compete" on Cost Plus commercial jobs, because larger construction companies will take these jobs at cost to build a presence with corporations that allocate multimillion- dollar projects on assignment basis as a result of favorable past performance.
    
24. From the client's standpoint, Cost Plus contracts give the contractor little incentive to get in and get the job done. Instead, the contractor's incentive is to keep the clock running, especially if he doesn't have the next job lined up. Cost Plus jobs often run far longer than would be considered normal with a Fixed Fee contract.
    
25. Owners believe that Cost Plus or Time & Material jobs will cost them less money to build. Therefore, they expect you to charge them less money for the work that you do (i.e. less than your normal overhead and profit). In most cases, owners believe that you should only make: Remodeling: 10 percent overhead and to 10 percent profit New home construction: 10 percent overhead and profit Specialty construction: 6 to 10 percent overhead and 5 to 10 percent profit This makes it extremely difficult for you to use your established markup on that job, especially when you have to show them your invoices at the normally required meetings where you review the job progress and expenses to date.
    
26. Owners do their homework, put their job out for "Bid" at Cost Plus or Time & Material plus 6 percent, 7 percent or 8 percent maximum markup. They tell you if you don't want to bid that way, don't enter a bid. They also tell you that "You're not going to make your normal markup on my job!' In other words, take it or leave it.
    
27. One way many contractors handle Cost Plus or Time & Material contracts is to take items that are considered overhead and stuff those costs into the job cost section. In court, a sharp expert witness will find the overhead items listed under job costs and accuse the contractor of "double dipping" on the job. This immediately paints the contractor as dishonest, making a win in court even more difficult.
    
28. Most Cost Plus contracts give the owner the right to either select the subs for his job from a list supplied by the general contractor, or the owner can hire his own subcontractors that the owner will supervise during the job. What happens if subs hired by the owner don't adhere to the general contractor's time schedule? Who's responsible for delays and downtime caused by their lack of cooperation? What prevents the owner from suing the contractor for lack of supervision and other damages caused because the job did not get done on time?
    

As a Tarot Card Reader, my writing is often affected by the cards that I encounter. I was excited to learn the story behind the Major Arcana, and if you are interested in exploring more, start with these promotions questions that are based on those 22 cards and their themes.
I will post more, and I am also interested in a variety of spiritual traditions, religious texts and themes, as well as discussing these aspects of writing in genres that I am exploring.
As I stated, this group is only bound by whatever it's members want. If this isn't something you want to explore, simply scroll on by :)

1. Journey of the Fool: How can embracing unpredictability, like the Fool in the tarot, lead to unexpected personal growth?
   
2. Magician's Mastery: In what ways can we tap into our inner magician to manifest positive changes and opportunities in our lives?
   
3. High Priestess Wisdom: How can the intuition of the High Priestess guide us in making decisions aligned with our higher selves?
   
4. Emperor's Authority: Reflect on instances where embracing structure and authority, akin to the Emperor, has fostered personal growth and resilience.
   
5. Chariot's Triumph: How can the Chariot's victorious journey inspire us to navigate life's challenges with determination and grace?
   
6. Strength Within: Explore moments in your life where inner strength has emerged, taming challenges and fostering personal development.
   
7. Wheel of Fortune's Spin: Reflect on the cyclical nature of life. How has understanding the Wheel of Fortune influenced your perspective on ups and downs?
   
8. Justice Served: In what ways can embodying the principles of justice lead to personal growth and harmony in relationships?
   
9. Hanged Man's Perspective: Share an experience where embracing a different perspective, like the Hanged Man, brought unexpected insights and personal growth.
   
10. Death's Embrace: How has embracing transformation and letting go, akin to Death, paved the way for renewal and personal evolution?
    
11. Temperance Alchemy: Reflect on times when finding balance, like Temperance, has been a catalyst for spiritual and emotional growth.
    
12. Devil's Dilemma: Explore how confronting personal demons and temptations, similar to the Devil's dilemma, can lead to profound inner transformations.
    
13. Tower's Revelation: Share an experience where the Tower's upheaval shattered illusions, paving the way for profound personal insights and growth.
    
14. Starlit Path: How has following the guidance of the Star brought hope, inspiration, and spiritual growth into your life?
    
15. Moonlit Shadows: Reflect on navigating the unknown, as symbolized by the Moon. How has embracing uncertainty contributed to your personal development?
    
16. Sunshine Blessings: Explore the positive impact of basking in the warmth of the Sun's energy on your overall well-being and personal growth.
    
17. Judgment Day: Reflect on moments of self-awareness and reflection, similar to the Judgment card, leading to transformative spiritual growth.
    
18. Worldly Perspectives: How has understanding the interconnectedness of all things, represented by the World card, influenced your spiritual journey?
    
19. Tarot Archetypes Explored: Reflect on the archetypal themes present in tarot and how connecting with them has deepened your understanding of yourself and others.
    
20. Fool's Wisdom: Share a moment where embracing the Fool's journey into the unknown has led to valuable insights and personal growth.
    
21. Magician's Magic: How can harnessing the magic within, similar to the Magician, empower us to create positive change in our lives?
    
22. High Priestess' Veil: Reflect on times when tapping into your intuitive wisdom, like the High Priestess, has guided you on your spiritual path.
    
23. Empress' Embrace: Explore the nurturing aspects of the Empress. How has cultivating abundance and creativity led to emotional and spiritual growth?
    
24. Emperor's Legacy: Reflect on how establishing structure and a lasting legacy, similar to the Emperor, has contributed to your personal development.
    
25. Hierophant's Teachings: Share experiences where seeking wisdom from spiritual teachings, like the Hierophant, has provided guidance and growth.
    
26. Lovers' Harmony: How has experiencing deep connections and harmonious relationships, akin to the Lovers, impacted your emotional and spiritual well-being?
    
27. Chariot's Conquest: Reflect on moments where conquering challenges, like the Chariot, has empowered personal growth and resilience.
    
28. Strength Personified: Explore instances where tapping into your inner strength, akin to taming the lion, has led to personal triumphs and growth.
    
29. Hermit's Wisdom: Share experiences of seeking solitude and introspection, similar to the Hermit, and how it has contributed to personal insight and growth.
    
30. Wheel of Fortune's Spin: Reflect on the cyclical nature of life and how understanding the ebb and flow has influenced your perspective and personal development.
    
31. Justice Prevails: In what ways has embodying principles of fairness and justice led to personal growth and harmony in your relationships?
    
32. Hanged Man's Reflection: Share moments where surrendering to a different perspective, akin to the Hanged Man, brought unexpected insights and personal growth.
    
33. Death's Doorway: Explore experiences where embracing transformation and letting go, similar to Death, paved the way for renewal and profound personal evolution.
    
34. Temperance Alchemy: Reflect on times when finding balance, like Temperance, has been a catalyst for spiritual and emotional growth.
    
35. Devil's Dilemma: Explore how confronting personal demons and temptations, similar to the Devil's dilemma, can lead to profound inner transformations.
    
36. Tower's Revelation: Share an experience where the Tower's upheaval shattered illusions, paving the way for profound personal insights and growth.
    
37. Starlit Path: How has following the guidance of the Star brought hope, inspiration, and spiritual growth into your life?
    
38. Moonlit Mysteries: Reflect on navigating the unknown, as symbolized by the Moon. How has embracing uncertainty contributed to your personal development?
    
39. Sunlit Blessings: Explore the positive impact of basking in the warmth of the Sun's energy on your overall well-being and personal growth.
    
40. Judgment Day: Reflect on moments of self-awareness and reflection, similar to the Judgment card, leading to transformative spiritual growth.
    
41. Worldly Wonders: How has understanding the interconnectedness of all things, represented by the World card, influenced your spiritual journey?
    
42. Tarot Tales: Share personal stories of how engaging with tarot archetypes and narratives has deepened your self-awareness and personal growth.
    
43. Magician's Mastery: Reflect on moments where harnessing your innate abilities, like the Magician, has empowered you to overcome challenges and manifest positive changes.
    
44. High Priestess' Veil: Explore the wisdom gained through intuitive insights, similar to the High Priestess, and how it has guided you on your spiritual path.
    
45. Empress of Creation: Share experiences of cultivating abundance and creativity, akin to the Empress, and how it has contributed to emotional and spiritual growth.
    
46. Emperor's Dominion: Reflect on the impact of establishing structure and a lasting legacy, similar to the Emperor, on your personal development.
    
47. Hierophant's Teachings: Share insights gained from seeking wisdom through spiritual teachings, like the Hierophant, and how it has influenced your personal growth.
    
48. Lovers' Union: Explore the impact of deep connections and harmonious relationships, akin to the Lovers, on your emotional and spiritual well-being.
    
49. Chariot's Triumph: Reflect on moments where conquering challenges, like the Chariot, has empowered personal growth and resilience.
    
50. Strength Within: Share instances where tapping into your inner strength, akin to taming the lion, has led to personal triumphs