I (33F) have been dating my boyfriend (32M) for almost 3 years. I feel deeply in love with him, envisioned a long future together and feel as though I found my person, but we’ve been struggling a little bit recently. His mother’s health is declining for about a year and he is really struggling with a lot of guilt, depression and has very little patience with everything he is juggling. I’ve being trying to be as patient, supportive and understanding as I possibly can be, but have felt a noticeable difference in his affection towards me and we’ve been feeling generally distant. I’ve brought up the distance to him before, and he said he would work on it, but he was more affectionate for about a week and then quickly went back to how he distant he felt. There have been times that I have tried to bring it up again to work through and I have been told I’m being too sensitive or have felt like a nuisance on top of all he is carrying. I’m a generally insecure person but it has been culminating lately for me personally as I just did a bunch of job switch ups and started a really big state job, which has been tough for me mentally. I’ve not really tried to tell him because I don’t want to add to his plate and been trying to focus on navigating how to support him through this time (and sometimes failing because I’ve not experienced losing a parent yet and struggle to know what is helpful). But it gets really overwhelming and I feel often I’m struggling through my insecurities in our relationship alone.
Last weekend, in a moment of weakness, I felt the sting of jealousy take me over and I got it in my head that he must be talking to another person if he is so distant. I went through his phone for about 5 minutes, luckily I found nothing, but I’m not smooth in the slightest (and he never puts his phone down) and he caught me. I immediately came to my senses and have been apologizing profusely since, and he initially said it was ok and seemed to want to move forward. But this weekend, he got pretty drunk and treated me very horrible when I was over, saying he actually didn’t feel over it. He wanted to break up that night, saying I’ve destroyed his trust. And I was a mess. We’ve just started talking tentatively again, we never stay long apart and I know he misses me. He says he doesn’t want to break up, and wants work on it, but that we need to rebuild our trust. My plan so far is to invite him to a nice dinner this weekend, write him a letter telling him why I love him, and see if we can plan for steps forward (specifically wanting to ask him what actions he needs me to take to rebuild his trust). But also want to talk about things I hope we both can maybe work on, like rebuilding affection and making sure we have an environment where I feel safe to bring up concerns to him and not feel like I’m being annoying.
What are other ways I can rebuild trust with him? And is it totally inappropriate to bring up things I need to feel more secure in our relationship?

Recently u/scorpiogirl12 had a question on a so-called "legal advice" ("legaladvice") reddit site, which is anything but. I was unable to give my advice on that subreddit since I was "permanently banned" for offering a servicemember with a USERRA issue to "DM" me, given the privacy issues involved with their employment situation. Frankly, "legaladvice" is nothing but a sham. They don't have legal professionals there, just a bunch of two-bit "sea lawyers" willing to give their "opinions."
That being said, Scorpiogirl12 has a serious issue that affects her and her husband's employment situation in the face of a very long service obligation. That's why I reposted her situation here so she can receive quality guidance, rather then the garbage at "legaladvice."
Scorpiogirl12's question was: "My husband recently got put back on military orders for the next 3 years (he has been enlisted since 2020). Last week, he notified his employer that his start date would be June 1, 2024. Today, he got an email stating that he must submit a resignation letter on 5/24/25 and he would be effectively resigned on 5/25/25. I told him NOT to submit the letter because he is NOT resigning, he is simply going on more active duty orders.
What legal standing do we have if he refuses to submit the letter and they let him go?"
My response:
ESGR Ombudsman DirectoESGR National Trainer here.
Your husband needs to be familiar with ESGR resources, especially as it relates to his rights under USERRA. He should have had briefings on his civilian employment rights.
Regarding your husband's particular situation, it's not up to his employer when he leaves prior to an extended military service. He can take weeks off prior to work (or MORE), or work right up until he reports for duty. 20 CFR 1002.74. It is entirely up to him!
As for his reemployment rights, long as he doesn't exceed five years of cumulative, non-exempt, service, and otherwise complies with his USERRA eligibility requirements, his reemployment rights are protected. 20 CFR 1002.32, .99-.103. They are protected even if he "resigns," signs a notarized statement that he "never wants" his position back, and releases his ER of all rights under USERRA, or otherwise, "forever and ever," "pinky swear."!!! That is because USERRA precludes any "contract" "agreement" or otherwise, that reduces (i.e. "waives" or "releases") his reemployment rights under USERRA. 38 USC 4302.
Regardless of how the ER characterizes the employee's leave of absence, it's considered a "leave of absence" or "furlough." 38 USC 4316(b)(1)(A); 20 CFR 1002.149, .150. As long as he adheres to the eligibility requirements of 20 CFR 1002.32, he will have reemployment rights once he's done with his military service pursuant to 38 USC 4312.
FURTHERMORE, he's entitled to all "pay, seniority, and status" he would have attained once he returned from his uniformed service, AND he is entitled to all missed pension/retirement plan benefits he missed during his uniformed service. IF he has a "contributory" retirement plan where he contributes to the plan, he has 3 times the length of service, but NO MORE than 5 years (in your husband's case), to makeup his contributions.
Go to ESGR.mil under the Servicemembers resource tab for more information. If your husband has any questions, or wants a trained Ombudsman to contact his employer to discuss what USERRA does or does not require, have him request assistance on the site or by calling 800.336.4590.
AS A FINAL NOTE: Ignore the "sea lawyer" opinions on many of the so-called "legal advice" sites. They're garbage, and will simply result in misinformation.

I am doing a private practice as a general physician. I prescribed labs and diagnostics to a patient who is under Medicard.
However, my patient tood me that the diagnostic company won't do the labs I requested because they need a Medicard accredited doctor to prescribe
"Doc, need daw yung accredited na doctor kay Medicard. Sinuggest nila na sa doctor nalang daw nila. "
So ano na Medicard? Pasyente ko, gawin nating pasyente nyo?
Thanks alot!

My dad died and now I feel disconnected from everyone, especially my significant other.
TLDR; My dad died November 2023 after an awful/traumatizing 11 months watching him suffer with an aggressive cancer. He was only 70. I’m 25 years old. After 5 months, i’m still struggling so much. I feel so disconnected from everyone and feel incapable of feeling love or positive emotion especially toward my significant other. Looking to hear from anyone who’s gone through something similar and come out on the other side.
My dad and I were so close. I spoke to him multiple times per day and he knew every single thing that would happen in my life. I have such a hole in my life since his absence. Being 25, I feel too young to lose my dad - even though I know many people lose their parents even younger :( I feel like I just reached the age at which I could truly appreciate my dad as a friend, rather than just a parent, and now he’s gone. There are so many events I want him to be at in my life such as my wedding, meeting my future children, seeing me work as a physician (i just graduated med school, his absence at match day and graduation the past few months was unbearable). I struggle with the fact that he won’t be here for the rest of the milestones in my life. I feel envious of the people around me who have both their parents in good health and seem to take it for granted or not recognize how much of a privilege that is.
My main concern and reason for writing this post is because of a deep disconnected feeling I have with everyone in my life. My partner (26 yo M) and I have struggled so much since my dad died. We moved in together 5 months before my dad died (horrible timing). Our problems seem to stem from an inability of my partner to understand where I am at, since he has never experienced loss or heartbreak. He often struggles to know what to say and despite trying to be supportive, often says invalidating comments or other things that set me off. I feel much more irritable than ever before and lack patience when this happens. Even though I used to be a very patient person - this leads to self confidence issues now as well since my partner will say things like “I don’t recognize you anymore” when we argue. I have suggested he read this thread to get advice from people who have gone through this, and he did do that and has improved slightly from that. I have to give him credit because he continues to try to improve. My biggest worry is that even when things are going well, I still just feel empty around him. I feel no connection to him (or anyone in my life expect my mom) like I used to. I feel hollow and just like I am going through the motions, incapable of feeling love. It even feels hard to say words of endearment like “i miss you” which I often used to do. I have no desire for intimacy - not even hugging or snuggling. I just want to be alone constantly and feel bothered by everything, even things that I used to enjoy. He is understanding but now that it has been 5 months I feel like he’s ready for me to be “back to normal” and I am not.
I should add that before all of this, my feelings about my boyfriend were very different and I was pretty set on spending the rest of my life with him. He even asked for my dads blessing to marry me in the hospital before he died. Now I continuously fear whether our problems are due to my own mental health or a problem in our relationship. I feel like I have been forced to mature in ways that he has not, after going through so much. This leads to me feeling frustrated or disinterested when he talks about such trivial matters which comprise his daily life. The result is that I feel disconnected and incapable of love, then constantly worry about why this is happening.
I am seeing a therapist who specializes in grief and have been for over 1.5 years, since I started going when I anticipated the loss of my dad was imminent. I know that I have generalized anxiety disorder and probably have a little bit of PTSD according to my therapist from seeing my dad suffer so much during his illness. I just have never felt this disconnected empty feeling and I constantly question if the problem is my relationship or if it is my life situation.
Has anyone been through something similar with a significant other and come out on the other side? I am scared that my relationship is broken. Please help.

I posted this earlier under my normal account, but I decided I wanted a bit of anonymity.
I had a very traumatic emergency department visit last year. I wrote a complaint, and it was pages long. Most of the issues were resolved in some way, maybe not to my full satisfaction but enough. I won't go into those.
The part that they lied about were times medications were given and times when they checked in to take my vitals.
The vitals weren't taken... I was left in the isolation cell for over 9 hours without any in-person contact with any human being. There is no way I could have slept through them coming in because a) I couldn't sleep and b) The door opening is super loud because it is like a jail door. They claimed they took them throughout the night.
I wasn't given my medication in the morning until about 2.5 hours late, which I get happens. But they claimed I got it on time which was not true.
Basically they said that I was so emotional that I wasn't remembering things correctly. I WAS emotional, for sure, but I was very, very aware of what was going on during that period of time. Plus, I was allowed to have my phone with me, so I have multiple text messages throughout the night to a couple of loved ones with comments about waiting for a nurse to come in to check my vitals, and eventually of me asking my loved ones to call the hospital to push for more urgency regarding my medications.
I even requested the camera footage. Initially, the department that deals with the footage was like, "Yup, no problem. Should have to you within 24 hours because there were no other patients in the footage (because it was only me in the isolation room obviously)." Then I get an e-mail the next day saying that it was too late to get the footage. So they allowed the footage to get taped over even though there was an open complaint regarding the above issues along with a nurse threatening me with restraint twice for no legitimate reason. One would think that they would want the footage to help provide professional education to that nurse for future issues.
One Doctor also put another lie in my file which I won't even get into. I did get them to write a letter to somewhat resolve that issue, but the letter won't show up on my main health record, it would only be accessible to someone who was digging deep.
I don't normally care what people think about me, but to have inaccuracies on my record with no recourse, no opportunity to have my rebuttal officially on record, it just kills me. It is one thing if people dislike me because they don't like my personality. It is one thing if people are gossiping about me. It is one thing of some rando makes up lies and spreads them around. Those things would not be an issue for me. But for lies to be on my official record, and for them to only really be included to cover their butt once I made a complaint - well, that hurts and it scares me. Plus, my complaint was very specific that I did not want ANYONE to get into trouble, even the nurse who threatened restraints. I just wanted policies to be updates and professional development to occur. These are the people I am supposed to trust when I am at my absolute worst. Guess I was a little too idealistic.

TLDR; My dad died November 2023 after an awful/traumatizing 11 months watching him suffer with an aggressive cancer. He was only 70. I’m 25 years old. After 5 months, i’m still struggling so much. I feel so disconnected from everyone and feel incapable of feeling love or positive emotion especially toward my significant other. Looking to hear from anyone who’s gone through something similar and come out on the other side.
My dad and I were so close. I spoke to him multiple times per day and he knew every single thing that would happen in my life. I have such a hole in my life since his absence. Being 25, I feel too young to lose my dad - even though I know many people lose their parents even younger :( I feel like I just reached the age at which I could truly appreciate my dad as a friend, rather than just a parent, and now he’s gone. There are so many events I want him to be at in my life such as my wedding, meeting my future children, seeing me work as a physician (i just graduated med school, his absence at match day and graduation the past few months was unbearable). I struggle with the fact that he won’t be here for the rest of the milestones in my life. I feel envious of the people around me who have both their parents in good health and seem to take it for granted or not recognize how much of a privilege that is.
My main concern and reason for writing this post is because of a deep disconnected feeling I have with everyone in my life. My partner (26 yo M) and I have struggled so much since my dad died. We moved in together 5 months before my dad died (horrible timing). Our problems seem to stem from an inability of my partner to understand where I am at, since he has never experienced loss or heartbreak. He often struggles to know what to say and despite trying to be supportive, often says invalidating comments or other things that set me off. I feel much more irritable than ever before and lack patience when this happens. Even though I used to be a very patient person - this leads to self confidence issues now as well since my partner will say things like “I don’t recognize you anymore” when we argue. I have suggested he read this thread to get advice from people who have gone through this, and he did do that and has improved slightly from that. I have to give him credit because he continues to try to improve. My biggest worry is that even when things are going well, I still just feel empty around him. I feel no connection to him (or anyone in my life expect my mom) like I used to. I feel hollow and just like I am going through the motions, incapable of feeling love. It even feels hard to say words of endearment like “i miss you” which I often used to do. I have no desire for intimacy - not even hugging or snuggling. I just want to be alone constantly and feel bothered by everything, even things that I used to enjoy. He is understanding but now that it has been 5 months I feel like he’s ready for me to be “back to normal” and I am not.
I should add that before all of this, my feelings about my boyfriend were very different and I was pretty set on spending the rest of my life with him. He even asked for my dads blessing to marry me in the hospital before he died. Now I continuously fear whether our problems are due to my own mental health or a problem in our relationship. I feel like I have been forced to mature in ways that he has not, after going through so much. This leads to me feeling frustrated or disinterested when he talks about such trivial matters which comprise his daily life. The result is that I feel disconnected and incapable of love, then constantly worry about why this is happening.
I am seeing a therapist who specializes in grief and have been for over 1.5 years, since I started going when I anticipated the loss of my dad was imminent. I know that I have generalized anxiety disorder and probably have a little bit of PTSD according to my therapist from seeing my dad suffer so much during his illness. I just have never felt this disconnected empty feeling and I constantly question if the problem is my relationship or if it is my life situation.
Has anyone been through something similar with a significant other and come out on the other side? I am scared that my relationship is broken. Please help.

Long story short, my (26) nfather (54) cheated on my emother (54) with someone my age, kicked us out of the house, sold it, basically killed our elderly cat with the stress of sudden moving, and then moved away by himself. He also refuses to divorce my mom & tries to tell her that leaving him will just make things worse for her, and that he’ll support her if she stays (total bullshit obviously).
My mom won’t divorce him. She claims it’s money stopping her, but I’ve thrust tons of legal aid services and pro bono lawyers her way, her friends and family have offered financial support, but she just won’t do it. She also thinks she’s incapable of getting anything better than a minimum wage job, and spends all her money on Hallmark/QVC shit. It’s been 2 years now since they separated. She still talks to him daily. Her therapist straight up told her that he’s a narcissist and needs to run, and I finally revealed to her just how badly my dad abused me (including sexually, which she blew off), but that hasn’t hastened her resolve. She’s just totally convinced that there is nothing she can do to help herself.
I cut my father off as soon as he moved out two years ago; I’m honestly reaching the point where I want to do the same to my mom. I’m trying my best to be patient because she is a recovering victim herself and is overall a nice person, but she is still enabling him. Her whole life revolves around him still, so in a sense I never escaped the abuse. I had this fantasy that she’ll leave him forever, heal, and I can finally have a loving healthy relationship with a parent. But I’m losing hope that it will ever happen. I’m so sick of re-living trauma and being surrounded by miserable people who won’t help themselves. I tried cutting her off once before but she sent me a long letter begging me to stay in her life.
(To make matters worse, her best friend told us once that my mother’s greatest fear was having her children stop talking to her. So that makes me feel guilty as fuck. I feel like I’ll kill her if I stop talking to her.)

I’ve been premed for almost 10 years, but I am ready to throw in the towel and consider other careers. I love interacting with patients and am interested in patient education, preventative health, community/public health, and youth mental health. It’s been so hard for me to consider other careers besides being a physician because I know it would hit all these marks. However, I’m burnt and I cannot fathom enduring medical training and the sacrifices I have to make. I’m looking for other careers that would satisfy my interests. I’ve considered PA, but it’s mostly clinical with little to no community/public health aspect to it. Becoming an NP or a public health nurse feels just as lengthy as going to medical school because I would have to start at square one since I don’t have a BSN. I heard it’s not ideal to do an accelerated NP program either bc lack of RN experience would do a disservice to me. I also considered getting an MPH, but…I don’t know what I would do with it because I’ve heard that it can sometimes be useless.
I feel like I have so much tunnel vision from being so focused on becoming a physician that I have a limited and biased view of alternative careers. Does anyone have any ideas/advice? Thank you!

I posted recently about an NP writing my letter of recommendation as she oversaw most of my clinical experience.
My college pre-health advisor suggested I ask that the lead MD also sign off on the letter before submission. That way if a school has a physician letter requirement it’s taken care of.
Is it rude to ask that an MD tack on their signature when she dedicated the time to writing it? I might be overthinking but just don’t want to offend her or be disrespectful.

There is a growing realization among a handful of observant bible prophecy watchers around the world that Donald J. Trump perfectly fits the descriptive criteria for the end times beast/antichrist given to us in both the old and new testament of the Bible. At present, no other AC candidate comes close to fitting all of the criteria like Trump does.
If the millennial day pattern prophecy is true, 30-33 AD (Christ's crucifixion) + 2,000 years (church age) - 3½ or 7 years (tribulation period) = 2023-2026 (Rapture?).
Assuming this chronology is roughly correct, the Beast/Antichrist must certainly be alive on earth today, if he is to fulfill his important role in the end times.
The exact day or hour of Christ's return will never be known, but we are told in scripture that we will know the season of His return, and that it won't catch us off guard like it will for unbelievers. I strongly believe for multiple reasons that we are in the final moments of the church age. We must continue to prepare ourselves mentally and spiritually for what's coming.
On the 14th of June 1946, during a blood moon, Donald J. Trump was born in the New York City borough of Queens. On that same day, Infamous cabal occultist Aleister Crowley sent a letter to fellow Thelemite occultist John McMurty that the members Jack Parsons, L Ron. Hubbard, and others were producing a "Moon Child"; the Freemasons "Chosen One", that is, the biblical Beast/Anti-Christ.
In the following decades, masonic movie directors in Hollywood have released many iconic movies featuring arcane esoteric references to Donald Trump, as well as other related events of deep occult significance.
Donald Trump appears to have peculiar numerological connections to the magic numbers 88, 777, 911, and 1776.
700 days after Trump's birth, the prophetically significant rebirth of the modern state of Israel would occur on 5/14/1948.
Further, 70 years, 7 months, and 7 days after his birth, he would be inaugurated as the 45th president of the United States.
Seven months after his inauguration, the first Great American Solar Eclipse would occur on 8/21/2017, with the moon's path of totality dividing the continental USA in half, entering over the 33rd state, exiting at the 33rd parallel. This eclipse also passed over seven towns with the name "Salem". Trump himself infamously observed this eclipse with the first lady from the White House balcony, briefly looking up at the sun without eclipse shades.
Precisely two years to the day after the first solar eclipse, on 8/21/2019, Donald Trump made the odd proclamation "I Am the Chosen One" and also sent out a tweet likening himself to the "second coming of god" and the "king of Israel", which is blasphemy to God.
In another strange coincidence, exactly halfway between the dates of these two eclipses (December 14, 2020), the first mRNA covid vaccine was administered to a patient in the USA.
On 10/15/2017, Donald Trump made the cryptic remark: "Maybe this represents the calm before the storm". When asked by a reported what he meant, he said "You'll find out" and winked his eye.
Donald Trump has also narrated the cryptic "Snake Poem" at countless rallies. The final line that Trump emphasizes after the woman receives the viscous bite is: "You knew damn well I was a snake, before you let me in!"
When Trump is asked by political commentator Frank Luntz in a now infamous video if he ever asks God for forgiveness, he coldly responds: "that's a tough question," proceeds to say that he identifies as a "Protestant," and his pastor was "the late great Vincent Peele" (who incidentally turns out to be a 33rd degree Freemason). Trump then continues dodging the original question, so Luntz asks him once again if he asks God for forgiveness. Trump then looks at him smugly and finally admits that he doesn't, and that he simply moves on from his sins without repentance and "tries to do better" on his own accord.
The sinister Qanon cult movement began in the murky depths of the web during Trump's rise to power on the campaign trail. It has since become a worldwide grassroots movement, with fervent and fanatical followers perceiving Trump as a messianic figure who is the one that is destined to "take down the Satanic pedophile globalists" and save America - even the whole world itself.
On 4/29/21 Donald Trump proclaimed himself "The father of the vaccine". Under Trump's term as president, Operation Warp Speed sent untold billions to pharmaceutical companies to rapidly develop and produce the mRNA covid vaccines. Trump likened this project's significance to that of a "2nd Manhattan Project".
Trump also has a remarkable obsession with nuclear weapons, which was demonstrated during his "big button/little button" threats made against North Korea, as well as the occasional remark such as his suggestion to nuke incoming hurricanes to stop them and more recently against Iran with WW3 looming in the horizon.
https://www.gq.com/story/the-cult-of-trump

I currently have PRN positions at 2x inpatient rehab facilities. I enjoy the flexibility of PRN work and have no intention to ever work full time. I need to resign from one (been there since February)…it’s about an hour from my house and productivity is higher than I’m comfortable with (90%). I’m only obligated to work there 2 weekend shifts per month, but I just don’t wanna work here anymore.
Here’s my question: I’ve already “signed up” for my two shifts in June and July…my next scheduled shift is over 30 days from now. If I submit a resignation letter now, is there any expectation for me to fulfill the dates I’ve “committed” to? Or am I far enough out that I can say I’ve worked my last shift there?
Thanks for any advice! This is my first time resigning from a PRN position, so not sure how to handle this.

Hey everyone. I'm not totally sure what to do with one of my kitties and would love any advice I can get. I want to give as much context as possible so I'll leave a TL;DR at the end.
I adopted Cerberus last October after the loss of my late cat. She was living in my friend's backyard in the neighborhood's TNR colony; one of the queens got missed and whoops, kittens. My friends and the people familiar with the colony are not sure who the father is as all the male cats they've seen in the colony are tagged, but the mom, Pepsi, seemed to have gotten them a stepdad, Thor, who was clearly helping her raise the kittens.
I hesitate to even call Pepsi feral because she is so unbelievably friendly. The first time I met her she ran up to me and begged to be picked up. My friend suspects she was a pet who was dumped, but whatever her origins, she clearly has a lot of trust and liking for people. She also was very tiny and we suspect really young when she gave birth, maybe six months. We are fairly certain only two kittens survived, Cerberus and her sister, Arcadia.
Pepsi brought her kittens to my friend's house regularly to eat, usually with Thor, who is more skittish but will easily allow people to approach if they have food and speak/move softly.
My friend didn't really have any takers for either kitten, but both of us strongly suspected Cerberus would be difficult to adopt out because she was so much more skittish than Arcadia. I chose Cerberus because I like problem animals (lol) and I didn't want her to be TNR forever.
I took her home October 13th when my friend estimated she was four months old. Despite my best and most patient efforts, I have never touched this cat.
I knew socialization would be difficult, but I thought with the combination of her mother's temperament and her age that I'd be able to rehab her. The first two months consisted of a lot and I do mean a lot of lying motionless on my stomach peering under the couch and the bed with treats in my hand. If there had been no response to that, I wouldn't have cared as much, but she was screaming every night at the top of her lungs, and I literally never saw her--she did not feel comfortable to move around the apartment, even when I'd been lying motionless in bed for hours. I had to put her food under the bed or couch for her. After those two months I decided I HAD to get her a kitten companion, landlord be damned, because I just felt really bad about her quality of life.
Fortunately Arcadia (her sister) had not been adopted yet, so I took her home in mid December. Arcadia immediately exhibited more bravery than her sister, although she was still initially trepidatious and did her fair share of under couch hiding. She was much more willing to approach me for treats, and by January I was hand feeding her. I'm very pleased with her current progress--she follows me everywhere, pushes her way into my lap, yells for food, is very fond of my girlfriend, and has allowed two strangers to pick her up and pet her and is apparently a little angel for the vet.
Adopting Arcadia was definitely the right decision for Cerberus--since getting her, Cerberus has started emerging to play with her and will take treats from my hand if I am very, very still. She's begun moving around the apartment while I am out and even stays still without running immediately if I stand up and move around, provided I stay at least four feet away from her. She has much less trust in my girlfriend and I admit I have probably had my girlfriend around too much, as Cerberus makes progress faster when she isn't here, although she's definitely warming up to my girlfriend as well. She does hiss literally any time people move too fast or approach her at all, but she's never swiped even when she's really freaked out, she just tends to run and hide. I feel like I can work with this.
However, I'm getting really nervous about how long she's taking to warm up with regards to vet visits. I've already put off her spay three times because I just couldn't fathom catching her and forcing her into a carrier at this point in her progress, and now it's starting to feel more irresponsible to not have her spayed and vaccinated. Arcadia went into heat literally the week before her spay, and I'm getting very nervous that Cerberus could at any minute as she's nine months old now. Her spay and initial vaccines are scheduled for this Thursday.
I've resigned myself to semi traumatizing her getting her into the carrier and have recruited a friend with copious cat experience and motorcycle gloves. I'm really, really anxious about the impact that this will have in her trust in me and how to recover that trust post spay, especially since I plan on confining her to my bathroom while she recovers and obviously I'll have to be in there at some point. The only other place I could confine her to would be my bedroom, which has the same problem. In addition to this, she'll have to go back to the vet shortly after to get her booster shot, and I feel like that will be even worse. It feels irresponsible to put off her shots any longer but I am just so scared for how far back this might set her, especially after how incredibly long it's taken her to get to this point. Help?
TL;DR: my former feral took an extremely long time to make any progress in trusting me and while she's steadily improving, she is still untouchable and I don't feel like I can put off her spay any longer. I'm scared the fact that I will have to force her into a carrier will irreparably damage our relationship.

Question: has anyone ever heard of a case where an employer claimed an employee used more paid sick time than they earned and then docked the sick time from their final paycheck?
This is not my personal issue but I'm helping a friend. My friend recently resigned from his job. He has kept all of his paystubs, in which he accrued paid sick time at each pay period. As of approximately when he quit his job, he had accrued about 35 sick hours and used 30, leaving a balance of 5 paid sick hours. his boss sent him a message saying that he had taken more paid sick time than what he had earned for the year. His boss cited Massachusetts sick time law. my friend said that he had not used any paid sick time and had the pay stubs to prove it.
My friend got the boss's wife on the phone and said that although he had extra hours from last year, they would still be docking him nearly 18 hours of sick time from his final paycheck. The boss's wife said that they give a certain amount of paid sick time at the beginning of the year to use, and the employees accrue it as they go. She said if he had waited one more week before quitting, this would not have happened. She said that she had forgotten to warn him about using his sick time so fast and it was her fault. my friend once again insisted the sick time he took was unpaid and he had the pay stubs to prove it. the boss's wife cited the Massachusetts sick time law and told them to look it up.
My friend got a letter in the mail now from his former employer indicating they had docked his final paycheck because he owed them 17.5 paid sick hours. They cited the Attorney General Fair Labor Division, and indicated it would be enclosed in the envelope, but the applicable law was not included. According to the letter, he had worked 640 hours and only was eligible for 12.90 hours of paid sick time.
Can anyone help me here? There's plenty of law about not being compensated for unused sick time, but nothing about being docked for overused sick time. I've read the MA sick time law many times and I have no idea where they are getting this conclusion from.

I’ve been re-watching episodes where Dr Bailey started out as a mousey intern, full of shyness, and severely lacking confidence, and became the powerhouse that she evolved into when she initially taught each of the original five.
Bailey loved each of the original five as her own children, that’s why she gets so frustrated when Meredith puts herself in these kind of situations. It’s a mother’s frustration, a mother’s love.
Lets examine Bailey over the entire series run.
She loved each of original five as if they were her own children, and thats why she gets so frustrated when Meredith does something to put herself in these kinds of situations. Its a mothers love…is it not?
I mentioned Meredith’s trial as an example yesterday, and i re-watched it closely and revised my opinion.
She knew as far back as season 3 that Meredith was a pain in her side. Remember the panties on the bulletin board?
Remember her being protective of Meredith and laying into McDreamy when he caught them in a parked car?
She also knew that Meredith had the makings of an excellent surgeon. She knew that Meredith had to go through the refiners fire.
Heres a transcript of her speech.
Dr. Bailey: 'Ever since I first met Meredith Grey I knew she was going to be a thorn in my side. You're worried about her breaking rules? Well, that's not gonna stop. She's been doing that since day one.
And, yes, she broke a law to save a life. So she deserved to lose her job. She deserves to pick up trash. No one should be questioning her license.
She's too good at what she does. And she's worked too hard to get to where she is. And with all that she has survived, it hasn't made her hard. It hasn't made her mean or cold. It hasn't made her not care.
It's made her better. It's made her better than anyone in this room. Well, except me. I'm Dr. Miranda Bailey, chief of surgery at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, and I approve this message.'
—————— my reasoning of Dr. Bailey at the hearing————
Bailey doesn’t try to lessen what Meredith has done. She doesn’t try to get her off the hook. She explains why Meredith is such a good surgeon and states that everything she’s been through has made her an even better doctor.
Meredith may make some interesting choices, and some of them may drive Dr. Bailey up the walls, just like children often do. But given their relationship, Dr. Bailey hated Meredith’s actions, but not Meredith herself.
Have you ever been in a situation where someone you loved and cared about did something you you hated and didnt approve of? Did you hate them for it or did you hate *what they did* but not themselves?
You can hate what someone does without hating the person themselves. That is what I believe Bailey has done. In the beginning of the series, she was billed as a not-see (not typing it out)
This was Dr Bailey’s first speech to the interns in S1E1
"I have five rules, memorize them,” she told the interns. “Rule number don't bother sucking up, I already hate you, that's not gonna change, trauma protocol…nurses will page you, you will answer every page at a run. A run, that’s rule number two.”
“Your first shift starts now and lasts 48 hours. You’re interns, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain,” she continued.
“You run labs, write orders, work every second until you drop and don’t complain. On-call rooms, Attendings hog them, sleep when you can where you can, which brings me to rule number three if I’m sleeping, don’t wake me unless your patient is actually dying."
“Rule number four, the dying patient better not be dead when I get there, then not only would you have killed someone, you would have woke me for no good reason, we clear?”
She was responsible for turning out excellent surgeons.
You dont go easy on them and expect them to thrive and survive. You go hard on them. But you want them to succeed.
Otherwise you are just wasting your time, your resources, and the lives of the patients that they lost.
In the current season, Dr Bailey is back, doing what she did in the beginning, but this time she has 20 years experience.
We’ve seen Miranda go soft on people during the series and we’ve seen that doesn't turn out very well. Remember what BCB is an acronym for? What surgeons need is tough love. What surgeons need is someone to inspire them.
Bailey may be straightforward, tough, and full of wit and wisdom. Without a doubt, she is a really good physician and an independent one at that. However that independence has cost her personal relationships such as Ben.
She hated that Ben became a firefighter and is how in a very perilous environment day after day, but she doesn’t hate the guy.
If anything, Miranda has become more compassionate and more open hearted…not hateful
Not too long ago, Miranda started a women’s clinic at the hospital and as a result of her hard work in the face of adversity from the pro-lifers, she wins the esteemed Catherine Fox Award.
How can you do something like that while spreading hate throughout the hospital? You cant.

Chapter Five: Expansion
While expansion is my goal. My mana reserves are meh at best right now. The menu is giving me only one option for expansion and that is outside. I intended to expand in that direction sooner than later, but this IS a little sooner than I had in mind. It does fit my goals though. I don't want to know someone is on my doorstep, only when they are literally on my doorstep. I had planned to expand at least twice outwards to give me a timely warning. Unfortunately, I only had enough mana to make one expansion out, so that's what I do, and as soon as I do, the front of my cave resolves and I can sense everything around me out to about 100 feet. Not a lot of warning, but enough.
As soon as I expanded, I also discovered new invaders. Moles and Porcupines. The moles likely wouldn't be much of a problem, my lvl 2 spider and cricket minions should easily be able to handle them. The porcupines on the other hand... that is not a creature that is easy to kill. And right as I say that to myself, a porcupine separates itself from a tree and starts to waddle it's way towards my cave entrance. The moles did as well, but before they got very far Felix unearthed them and my minions had at them. Felix went out to challenge the porcupine and that fight was over before I even knew it was starting. Felix cast a spell and slammed the porcupine between two rocks, turning it into a spiny paste. The mana from all this was much greater than any fight before and I was feeling decidedly uncomfortable. It was at this point I wondered if I could upgrade myself... so I tried it and it worked. I was now a level two dungeon core, and wow, the ambient mana absorption rate nearly tripled! This has potential. I'll need to consider this at length, because while I was able to upgrade my core, it took almost every drop of mana I had. I went from feeling over full, to feeling like I was half starved.
All I could do at this point was wait for mana to accumulate, so that is what I did while I considered my options. I was sliding through the HUD's drop down menu looking at the options I had available to me and really wished whoever had created this HUD, hadn't settled on a basic menu driven system. It was overly long, confusing, didn't contain enough information to explain things and was backed by a green color using white lettering. Horrid. Eh. Whatever, it was what I had to work with, so I'd just have to deal with it. Hmmmm, I could spawn resource nodes of base metal and maybe an alloy. I could also spawn fungi, as well as a few plants for outside, but I decided to wait on this for a little bit. I needed a lot more mana before I started moving on my plans, and my minions were providing this to me with the invaders they were killing. It wasn't fast progress. But it was progress. I watched as the day slowly slid into night and a new invader appeared. An Owl. No, wait... that's not an invader, the hud says it's a minion? What?
I realized I hadn't looked to see if I had a new spawner available to me when I expanded outward. I did now and sure enough, there it was. A nest of sticks, twigs, and feathers, hidden up in the crook of a branch of an old Oak. I had Owl Minions! YES! Ok calm down dumbass. You still need to gather more mana. Just be patient. Looking at my available spawners I did notice that both the mole and the porcupine had been added as available spawners I could create, but even though I intended to spawn both of them, I had other goals that needed to come first. Namely gain enough mana to create both of them, as well as upgrade them, and the owl spawner to lvl 2, and create a mole and owl scion. That's a lot of mana, and I needed to wait till my tank was full to overflowing before I could do that.
As I was thinking about all of this, another invader showed up, a bat. My owl launched itself into the air and the two began to fight. The bat was clearly outmatched in overall power, but it had maneuverability on it's side, and both my minion and the bat took a lot of damage while fighting. Enough that the bat died and my owl minion was severely wounded. I did get mana from the bat, as well as a small return from my owl when it also eventually died, so not too bad. I look back to the owl spawner and focus on it. Hmm. Basic level one owls take an hour each to spawn. Right got it. Kinda like my mountain cat spawner. Basic non upgraded mountain cats spawn once an hour. First upgrade cats spawn every 2 hours, and it looks like a magic variant takes 3 hours to spawn, with my scion taking 5 hours. This seems pretty structured. The spawner seems to lean towards spawning 2 basics to every upgraded cat, except the magic variants create a dual spawn timer. When they are spawning, I get one extra base kitty in between each magic kitty. There also seems to be a limit of each type. Right now it looks like I can have 10 base kitties, 5 upgrade kitties, 2 magic kitties and my Scion. All my spawners acted like this. The insect and spider spawners give me more minions, probably because they were not as advanced creatures? I wonder if that number will increase as I grow?
First / Previous / Next

Hi everyone,
I am an international student and will get my letter of completion soon. I am currently employed by a company as a part time employee, but the work is pretty dormant and haven't worked in a while, but might pick up next month.
When it's said that "you have to stop working after receiving letter of completion" do I have to officially resign and then get rehired or can I just not go to work?
I will apply for my pgwp maybe a week after I receive my letter of completion but wanted to know what to do in the meantime.

Hello! I had a 6 month contract in social work as a manager after one took a leave. My AD appointed me from a frontline position to management for the contract. The manager who took a leave, he has now put in his resignation and the full time permanent position has been posted. My AD let me know it has been posted and to have my resume/cover letter done & sent in. I’m really excited as I think I did a good job, as she told me to apply. She told me they couldn’t just “give me” the job, because they need to go through the proper channels. Totally fair & I like to work for it. Any recommendations on the interview? What types of interview questions will be asked? I am assuming that management interviews are different as it is a leadership role. Thank you! I am excited and nervous.

So, you’ve been using the #FMRevolution hashtag since 2011, now what? Lest you envisioned a bloody, violent affair back then, the Family Medicine Revolution has neither been bloody nor violent. Rather, it’s been a steady, deliberate force that has bent the arc of the healthcare landscape towards a foundation of family medicine. ✊🏽
“The Family Medicine Revolution is one aimed at achieving peace. In my mind’s eye, it’s the kind of peace that allows us to become the physicians we wrote about in our personal statements, unencumbered by the tyranny of urgency infusing the modern medical-industrial complex, where we can focus on doing our best to do what is right for our patients. It may be the kind of peace we will never know in our careers but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t resist or continue to struggle to achieve it.”
Read more from Jay W. Lee, MD, MPH about the #FMRevolution and what it means on the blog: https://www.familydocs.org/family-medicine-revolution-of-peace/
What changes would you make to achieve a #FMRevolution of Peace?

#MakeHealthPrimary #FMRevolution #FMRising 🔥

When I was hired at a medium-sized nonprofit that has multiple physical addresses. After being offered a position, I spoke with the program director as well as the supervisor about logistics, and we agreed upon a specific worksite, schedule, and one remote day a week. Most of this is reflected in writing in my offer letter.
Since the very first day, they have been directing me to go to other worksites which are 30min-1hr away from my agreed upon worksite, in very high crime areas of the city (compared to the relative upscale location of my originally agreed upon site). They’ve shifted my start/end times, and also rescinded the remote day saying that I needed to “earn” that “privilege”. They said 90 days, and then said they “weren’t sure”. There’s another employee who’s been here for 6mos and said she never had a remote day and management also made her wait.
Management (my supervisothe program manager and the program director) have been super hostile and gaslighting about the whole thing, such as when they finally agreed to honour the original worksite and I continued to press the remote day and scheduling concerns, they stated that they had already made concessions for me and that they felt I was being demanding.
I’m pissed because this feels like a clear bait and switch and it’s now putting me in a gross situation, because turning down other offers and quitting a job is a lot more involved than just declining an offer.
I turned in my resignation but I’m just wondering if we think I should reach out to HR about this situation also, just so they’re aware. It doesn’t seem to be in line with the company culture according to my interactions with other colleagues outside of my pod.

My coworker stopped showing up for work a few weeks ago. He told me he got a new job but refuses to write a letter of resignation and wants to be terminated. My employer just keeps putting him on the schedule which I think is so weird and confusing for everyone. Why is this happening?

Red brick castles stacked the suburban streets. Divided by side yards and dogs barking. The sun laid crisp over the spliced horizon, spilling yolk over the withering lawns.
Henry waited in his lawn chair beside the mailbox. As his body had taken recent liberties, he'd remained fit from his army training. His throat rumbled as he checked his silver watch. Finally, the postman flushed the corner, and stumbled to Henry's curb, to his bag, then to his letter.
"...you're late, Lenny," Henry pulled his readers.
Lenny, the paperboy, regained his choppy breath. Coke-bottle glasses stored his tortoise eyes. They surveyed the concrete corridor they called Gerben Street, "I'm sorry, Mr. Bronson, I really am. I never meant to keep you waiting... I'm sorry, Henry."
Henry didn't answer the boy, tore the envelope with ape's elegance. Pranced the script of his lover's ink. The letter had traveled from Paris, France, skidded the black waves of the Atlantic Ocean, hitched buses, bikes, and buggies, all to kiss the smooth of Henry's palms.
The words were from his lover, Amélie, he'd met at war in an escapade to Bordeaux. It was here he'd kissed her cherry cheeks, and they'd made love only a year before.
Amélie talked of finer things, life and love and silver tastes. She yearned for Henry, and hadn't taken a lover since. Sleeping all alone, cold as the sleepy ocean in between them.
Love,
Amélie
Those four letters, strung together. Followed by that name, that haunted, horrible, beautiful name. The music of Henry's life, a distant harp in a sway of windy trees.
Henry spent all night beneath a dancing candle. Scribbling, nixing, finding the perfect words. Rifling through Shakespeare, and Plath, and Wilde. It was at the page's end, Henry wrote, what he knew he'd write in the weeks and weeks before:
"Oh, Amélie, won't you visit me? Here in the States? I know you don't like the food. I don't either, but with each other, me with you, and you with me, we'll ever, never notice."
He entered the post office that morning, and his reply was off to France. The weeks and weeks had passed again, crawling to November's end. Henry waited by that same mailbox, and waited, and waited, but nothing arrived in the days after.
He entered the post office that cold evening, and met the clerk, who's eyes tired with crescent glints. Henry demanded his mail be delivered to him, scolding the patient clerk, providing his address thereafter.
The clerk, a powdered, faded beauty of a woman, "we had a change in paperboys. We're putting a new employee on that route by Gerben Street."
"Oh no, that's a shame," Henry dampened. He enjoyed the paperboy, Lenny, and his weekly company. He'd felt shame for their final, frustrated exchange. The clerk retreated to a backroom, and returned with a letter from France.
Henry couldn't help himself. He ripped and ripped the note naked. Read the first and fourth and tens of lines.
"There isn't a night I don't think of you. I wander stars wondering if you do too. Your touch, your breath, your arms. I receive the memory fondly in a summer's dream, and I don't forget a word you've said along the way. I love you, Henry Bronson. And this ocean, though far and wide, won't stop the heart from sailing. Because our children will know silver dreams too, and what parents we'd be to not make them true. You are the love of my life. The music of my night.
I'll arrive in Savannah on the evening of Christmas Eve.
Love,
Amélie"
The words strummed his chest. Henry rose his eyes to the world anew, because Amélie, his beloved Amélie——was coming to visit at last.
Henry was paralyzed in weeks to come. His lawn, unattended, his sink, stacked with dishes. He stared his only photo of Amélie, smiling at her blushed eyes for hours and hours and hours. In this love he'd been born again, a new meaning in every little thing.
It was finally time——Christmas Eve. Snow peppered the sheets of the crystal tarmac. Henry entered the airport, propelled by the stride of anxious confidence. He coursed the halls, until he'd arrived at the final gate:
PARIS, FRANCE [ARRIVING IN 4 MINUTES]
Minutes became years, years decades. He walked to the bar and asked for a glass of water. Flushed his throat with fretting sips, and noticed the custodian who mopped spilled coffee. A familiar face, though, Henry couldn't pin him. He approached, and to his surprise, it was the old paperboy, Lenny.
They shared a laugh and began to catch up. Henry's eyes flirting with the gate:
[ARRIVING IN 2 MINUTES]
Lenny rambled, "they canned me without warning, right before the holidays. I've struggled to make due, but——I guess it's all worked out okay," he paused, "funny enough——I was en route to deliver on your street before I got the call. Gerben Street, right?"
[ARRIVING IN 1 MINUTE]
Henry's heart thumped like a derby horse. He glanced the snow that flaked the window.
"Yeah, Gerben."
"Gerben, yeah, I thought I remembered," Lenny nodded, "you know, Mr. Bronson, I think I left your letter in my backpack, actually. Would you like me to check?"
"Sure."
Lenny was off, and as he left, Frenchmen, women, and decadent Americans flooded the gate's entrance. Pulling luggage, sighing stretches, lending hugs. Henry watched carefully for his cherry, silver dream. To each face, he paid his attention. Lenny nudged Henry, handed over the envelope.
"Thanks," Henry took the note, "Merry Christmas... I'll see you around, I hope."
"Sure," Lenny shuddered in embarrassment. His somber step parted from Henry, he replied with a mumbled, "Merry Christmas."
In the later minutes, Henry didn't see Amélie, or even a confused resemblance. He waited till the plane was empty, till the Spain-bound passengers began to board. He even checked the desk, where a pretty-faced lady exclaimed, "no Amélie here, I'm sorry." With great disappointment, Henry exited the airport, never leaving the sight of his fluttered feet.
Even for Henry, a man of hope and perseverance, it was too hard not to cry. He hailed a taxi, directed the driver with snotty tremble, and soon enough, he was home in his red brick house, at home where the houses stacked the streets, and the streets tickled with frost.
In that dark room, where Henry wrote Amélie, was where the music died. Where the wind had swallowed the galloped harp. Henry cried, cursed himself a fool. A fool, a fool, a fool. He'd hoped as a child, now damned a hopeless recluse. His sorrow turned to confusion, confusion to frustration, frustration to rage anew.
He leapt from his chair, struck a match, lit a wick, plucked a pen, placed his paper, and before the ink would paint the page, before he'd damn Amélie to Hell, her and her cherry cheeks, he remembered the letter the paperboy had given him.
Henry removed the crumpled letter from his coat, peeled the stick of the envelope. Slipped the letter from its sleeve, pulled his readers, and began to prance the ink in reading.
Amélie, again, talked of finer things. Gifts, and gods, and golden fountains.
She couldn't wait any longer, to meet her beloved Henry.
She couldn't sleep another night, with this space between.
The black waves, the buses, bikes and buggies. All the things from her to he.
It should not wait. No, it could not wait any longer.
Henry dabbed his eyes clear and clean, as he read the final words:
"Henry, oh, Henry, I never meant to keep you waiting. You never quite knew what you meant to me."
Henry lowered his eyes to the page's end, to the bottom of the longing letter:
Love,
Yours Truly,
Lenny

So, you’ve been using the #FMRevolution hashtag since 2011, now what? Lest you envisioned a bloody, violent affair back then, the Family Medicine Revolution has neither been bloody nor violent. Rather, it’s been a steady, deliberate force that has bent the arc of the healthcare landscape towards a foundation of family medicine. ✊🏽
“The Family Medicine Revolution is one aimed at achieving peace. In my mind’s eye, it’s the kind of peace that allows us to become the physicians we wrote about in our personal statements, unencumbered by the tyranny of urgency infusing the modern medical-industrial complex, where we can focus on doing our best to do what is right for our patients. It may be the kind of peace we will never know in our careers but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t resist or continue to struggle to achieve it.”
Read more from Jay W. Lee, MD, MPH about the #FMRevolution and what it means on the blog: https://www.familydocs.org/family-medicine-revolution-of-peace/

#MakeHealthPrimary #FMRevolution #FMRising 🔥