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Memory transcription subject: Sawvek, Junior Extermination Officer
Date [standardised human time]: October 5th, 2136
Hard foam presses uncomfortably up against delicate pressure points situated across the length of my entire body, building up to an unbearable ache that makes me shift and turn against the thin mattress pad. I yank at the rough old blanket I’d taken out of storage and clutch it even tighter around my body, trying to keep out the chill. The best racks, the ones near the heating vents, had already been claimed long before I’d decided to move into the Guild House’s Barracks and it doesn’t seem likely that the current occupants will be giving up their spots any time soon.
My mind is still racing from the events of last paw, replaying the scene over and over again in my dreams and in my head. The way my brother had looked at me… That look on his face when he’d seen the real me…
My paw gives a sympathetic throb in memory, still aching from where it had met the wall, but at least I had been able to wrap it up a bit and stop the bleeding. I feel like I should take it as a small miracle that it isn't broken. More medical bills are the last thing I need right now.
I turn about in the bunk once more, rolling around in vain to try and find a comfortable position that doesn’t seem to exist. Through a conscious act of will I try to empty my mind and sleep, but the very act of trying not to think about things only brings them bubbling back up to the surface of my thoughts. My heartbeat echoes in my ears, a damnable drumming sound brought about by the exertion of my own restless tossing and turning. Out in the hallway I can hear the muffled shuffling of feet and murmurs of conversation. The Guild Hall never sleeps, and it seems that neither would I this paw.
Electing to abandon the attempt as hopeless, I cut my rest claw short and get up, venturing out into the hallway. If I can’t sleep anyway then I might as well start my waking claw early, maybe get in a little exercise. It’s not so bad when it’s self-directed, almost fun in a way. If our family had the money to support it then maybe I could have been an athlete of some variety growing up. I had always possessed something of a natural physicality.
“Stop wasting time with worthless questions about what could have been, Killer.” The voice interjects, early and active today by the sound of it. “You’ll never amount to anything more than a wild predator kept on a leash.”
There’s nothing to do but sigh and carry on. It was right after all. This is it. This is my life now.
Making my way down the hallway towards the gym I find myself walking past a row of private offices assigned to some of the more veteran officers on staff. Most are empty at this claw, their occupants either asleep or off doing other work. One room in particular catches my attention though, the one belonging to our newest PRED Team Commander.
The door leading inside is open and ajar, seemingly forgotten in the midst of more pressing business and granting me a look inside. The entire room is a mess, papers and binders strewn about everywhere with official looking documents littering the floor. A map of the city decorates the otherwise unadorned and impersonal space. On its face it hosts a variety of multicoloured pins, all connecting seemingly arbitrary locations as well as photographs of people and places from the records department. The face of the former PRED Team Commander, Vrienna, looks out at me once again with the same cruel eyes that decorate the memorial wall. Beside her photo are another pair of eyes, a pair I recognise, but not one I would have expected to see here.
Trilvri, my brother’s creepy coworker, the one who’d brought him home the night he’d drunk himself into a stupor, stares out at me from the wall. He was younger in this photo, barely of age, if even that, and dressed in a regulation space corps flight suit, but I could still recognise him. Trilvri’s eyes appear somehow more lively than when I had met him in person, though it does nothing to improve his overall disposition, looking, as they are, as if behind them resides only hatred and a feral desire to kill and rend. Come to think of it, he had mentioned he used to be in the corps hadn’t he? ‘Used to’ being the operative word. When I’d asked he hadn’t seemed particularly fond of his time in the service…
Situated as he is next to Vrienna like that, their pitch-black wool and evil-looking eyes bear a striking resemblance. It was the exact same sort of predatory expression that bore into your soul, the kind that made me feel weak and exposed, the same kind that was worn by-
“What do you think you’re doing in my office?” A voice asks from behind, nonplussed, but with a casual depth of power and authority behind it that makes me freeze on the spot.
“Commander Glagrig, Sir!” I turn about on the spot, fixed at attention in the doorway as I stare up at the man himself. “I’m sorry to intrude. I noticed someone had forgotten to close the door so I was just going to secure it.”
“I see.” Glagrig doesn’t seem to believe a word of it, but neither does he seem inclined to press the issue. “At ease. Tell me, do you recognise the man in the photo there? Have you ever seen him before?”
“No, Commander.” I lie reflexively as I shift to a parade rest, not fully knowing why, but knowing that whatever is going on I want no part of it, for me or my brother. It’s only after the fact that it occurs to me that lying might be worse than telling the truth.
“How… regrettable.” The prestige officer says plainly and I can’t tell whether he believes me or not. “If you do ever catch sight of this individual, then be sure to let me know immediately.”
“Y-Yes, Commander.” I subconsciously swallow with apprehension, hoping that he doesn’t notice. I want nothing more than to run away as quickly as I can, but I haven’t been dismissed yet.
“Junior Officer Sawvek, was it?” Glagrig carries on, looking me up and down, dissecting me with his eyes. “You have quite the interesting record on file and Officer Intalran is quite adamant about your potential. Your simulator results speak for themselves, even if they are just simulations.”
“Thank you, Commander.” I can feel myself growing dizzy as I answer with uncertainty.
“Don’t thank me,” the all-consuming void in front of me replies with no hint of warmth, “just remember that your performance is under evaluation. It’s in my interests to keep note of promising young aspirants who might someday join my team, and I would hate to see you squander your talents.”
“I-I understand, Commander.” I flick my tail in agreement, straining not to look away towards the floor.
“Dismissed.” Glagrig brushes past me as he enters his office, moving to shut the door behind himself.
“Um, Commander?” I ask just before the door shuts, feeling a beckoning call of curiosity that even the predatory prestige exterminator couldn’t crush. “If you don’t mind me asking… Why do you have all that stuff up on the wall there?”
The door opens again, just a crack, and I can feel my superiors' weighty presence bearing down on me, almost suffocating in its intensity. “It’s simply a personal matter. I have reason to believe that the prior investigation regarding the kelach incident was conducted according to… insufficient standards. The predator responsible was never found and I intend to remedy that deficiency.”
“How hard could it be to find a kelach?” I tilt my ears in confusion. “They're huge!”
“Despite initial reports,” he answers with an ominous, cold tone that sends a chill up my spine, “it may be possible that we're dealing with something far more dangerous than just a kelach.”
“T-Thank you, Commander.” I flick my tail in appreciation and the door closes.
I breathe a sigh of relief as the malevolent aura recedes. That was too close.
“And you’re a complete moron going back to ask him more questions afterwards, Killer.” The voice rises with amusement. “What? Do you want him to figure you out and turn you to cinders? Only a matter of time, Killer.”
“Ugh, shut up.” I mutter under my breath, quickly turning back around to make sure Commander Glagrig didn’t hear me, but when no reprisal comes I quickly depart. If I’m gonna be stupid I should at least try not to do so right in front of his office.
As the imminent threat of our in-house prestige exterminator dwindles so too does the energy driven by the adrenaline of the encounter. It figures that the moment I roll out of bed I want to take a nap again, but I know the moment I lie back down I’ll be back to full wakefulness in an instant. That’s just how that sort of thing works. With that in mind there’s really only one solution, a big, steaming hot cup of tea.
Making my way towards the tea machine I spot Jonsco, the feisty little primitive that mans our dispatch centre, smacking the top of the dispenser with a clenched paw while holding a mug underneath it.
“Is the tea machine fixed?” I ask as I pull out a mug from the cabinet myself.
Jonsco sighs heavily and shoots me a combative glare. “For the last time it’s not my brahking job to fix this damn tea machine! You got a problem with that then you can go pester someone else about it!”
I shrink back under the harsh rebuke. Jonsco may be small, but there was as much rage and fury condensed into that little package as anyone else in this department. Maybe more.
“I… I didn’t mean to imply…I just wanted to know if it was working again or not… Sorry.” I sputter out, feeling properly admonished as I look away towards the ground.
Jonsco looks at me quizzically, his hard glare softening somewhat as he seems to truly see me for the first time before returning to his usual scowl.
“Right…Whatever you say…” With one final smack the machine coughs and chokes, sputtering to life with a struggle, and a small trickle of freshly brewed tea begins to fill Jonsco’s cup. “The machine is on the fritz again as usual, but if you hit it just right, do a little percussive maintenance, then you can get it started again.”
“Thanks, Jonsco.” I lean back against the wall and watch as the mug slowly fills, impressed by the primitives know-how. “That's actually pretty smart of you.”
“For a ‘primitive’ right?” The words are barbed and spiteful, but lack his typical enthusiasm, more of a simple statement of fact than a real question. I couldn't exactly deny it, those had been my thoughts, and so the silence drags on awkwardly, marked only by the splash of tea falling into the steadily rising pool.
“What are you doing here at this claw anyway?” I eventually ask, dodging the question entirely. “We’ve still got at least another half-claw until our crew's shift is supposed to start.”
“I could ask you the same thing, you know?” The angry little dispatch operator retorts. “I'm here early working an overtime shift so I can afford to put food on my family's table. It's expensive feeding that many mouths. What's your excuse?”
“I had a fight with my brother…” I rub the back of my neck as I turn away abashedly, “moved out of the apartment and into the barracks full time… couldn't sleep…”
“Well then you should hurry up and work on patching things up with him.” Jonsco looks at me with an uncharacteristic hint of sympathy in his eyes. “Your family are the only ones who might actually care. This Gods-damned place is a slyther’s nest and no one here gives a speh about you or your problems. If you want my advice, you should do your best to spend as little time in this cesspool as possible.”
With his cup now full, Jobsco steps back from the machine and begins walking out towards the main hall.
“Thanks, Jonsco.” My words stop him in his tracks as he walks away from me. “I appreciate it.”
“... You're welcome.” He says after a short pause, glancing back to look at me one more time before leaving. “See you around, Sawvek.”
Taking advantage of the tea machine while it’s still mostly working, I fill up my own cup and drink deeply of the warm, fragrant beverage. The taste is bitter and unpleasant, just about the quality I would expect of this Guild Hall, but even at the first taste it’s evident that it’s been loaded with an extra strength dose of caffeine. I down the drink quickly and rinse out the cup before continuing on my journey towards the training hall. Fatigue begins to fall away as I walk, bit by bit as the drug makes its way into my bloodstream, blocking off sleep receptors and energising me. I know I’ll probably pay for it later, no amount of caffeine can actually replace sleep, but for now it feels good and I can see how some people can get addicted to the stuff.
A loud, metallic clanging emanates from the gym as I approach, something unexpected for this time of paw. No one's reserved space in the gym for this claw and not many people are industrious enough to sweat on their own initiative. Peeking my head inside the door I spy Bikim, the perfect, privileged, ‘holier than thou’ brahkass occupying the otherwise empty weight room. His irritatingly handsome face is taut with strain as he performs a series of weighted squats, his back and leg muscles straining underneath his short-cropped wool, and he pants heavily under the exertion.
I’m half tempted just to leave and go back to bed despite the fact that there’s no way I’d be getting any sleep with the tea running through my system. It’s too early in the paw to deal with Bikim’s speh. Before I can slip away unnoticed though, he spots me. I give a heavy sigh and continue my way inside. There's nothing to be done for it now. Trying to back out now would only make things worse later, a sign of weakness.
“What… Do you want… Predator?” Bikim asks between gulps of air as he reracks his weights, practically hanging off the bar to support himself on shaky legs.
“Good paw to you too, Bikim.” I say, forcing civility into my tone. “I’m here to use the equipment. Same as you. I'm allowed.”
“Whatever…” He eyes me with suspicion. “Just keep your distance… I don't want to catch any of your taint.”
“Believe me,” I flick my tail out in irritation, “I intend to.”
Looking around the room for available spots, I march my way over towards a cable machine on the opposite side of the room. Not nearly as far from Bikim as I would like, but the farthest I can get without leaving the weight area entirely. Bikim watches me all the while as I seat myself down and begin adjusting the machine. Eventually he grows tired of watching me fumble around with the machine and returns to his own exercises with a displeased flick of the tail, quite obviously judging me for my lack of experience with the equipment.
A tense sort of quiet settles over the room as we each go about our business, trying our best to ignore one another. Bikim slowly winds his way around the room, cycling from station to station to exercise all the different parts of his body in sequence before repeating it all again. He seems to bypass my corner of the room, glancing over at me with each repetition of his pattern. For myself, I stay put where I am, taking advantage of the varied exercises offered by the versatile machine to experiment with different muscle groups. Occasionally I slip up, dropping the weights with a loud clang that always draws Bikim’s ire. Every time he seems just a bit more disgruntled, a bit less patient. Eventually, the constant disruption reaches a tipping point and the pompous, self-entitled jerk walks over to confront me.
“Do you always do this?” He asks rhetorically. “If you keep slamming the weights like that you're gonna break it. Your form is speh so either fix it or lower the weight so you don't have to keep compensating. Better yet, just leave. You’ve been monopolising the cable machine for almost half a claw now. I don't know why you're even here in the first place.”
“Oh, look at Mr. Know-it-all thinking he can just go around telling us what to do, eh Killer?” The voice rises to the challenge. “Where does a guy like that who's been handed everything his whole life think he can get off with telling us how we should be doing anything?”
“Brahk off Bikim!” I don't even try to reign in the predator inside, feeling justified in letting it roam free for once. “I didn't ask for your advice and you don't get to kick me out of the weight room just because you can't wait your turn! I'm here because I don't have anywhere else to go! Ever since Intalran dragged me into this stupid Guild this brahking job has taken over my entire life! I don't even have a home to go back to anymore!”
Bikim's body tenses at my tirade and his tail flicks out aggressively like a whip.
“That's your own damn fault, predator!” He shouts back, eager for the excuse to vent his own frustrations. “Maybe if you weren't just some blood-starved beast out roaming the streets then you wouldn't be here right now! I’ve read your file! You got a history of herdless behaviour and physical altercations! Someone should have institutionalised you a long time ago, but someone took pity on you and let you slip through the cracks because of your poor dying mommy! They should have known it would come back to bite them! A normal, functional member of the herd wouldn't even think to pick a flamer up off the ground and burn another person to death with it! But you? You did it instinctively! You revelled in it!”
“You think that was easy for me!” I get up and walk towards him as I yell incredulously. “You think I asked for that to happen! You think it was fun for me to get choked out and almost eaten! That thing I burned wasn't even a person anymore! It was a predator in the middle of a feeding frenzy! So yeah, I did what I did, and you know what? It's a good thing I did! If I wasn't a freak of nature then that thing would have kept on going and kept on killing! Last I checked, preventing that sorta thing was supposed to be your job, but I had to be the one to step up! Now I have to live with the consequences of my actions every paw, knowing that I’m a Protector-damned killer that doesn't belong anywhere! Maybe you, in your infinite wisdom, would've known the perfect thing to do in that situation, but I’m not you! I’ve had to work and struggle for every little thing I have! Not just had it handed to me on a silver platter!”
“Oh, so you got me all figured out do you?” Sarcasm drips from Bikim's mouth as he looks down on me. “You don't know me. You don't know my life or what I’ve been through, how hard I’ve worked to get where I am. You just see the end product from cycles of effort and assume that it's always been that way, that it's always been that easy. It hasn't.”
“Yes, I’m sure you had it so hard growing up Bikim.” Saying it aloud almost makes me laugh. “You’re such a child of privilege that it drips off of you with every move you make and every word you say. I hate people like you, thinking that you're better than everyone else just because you were lucky enough to be born into wealth and status. Try living like the other side for a change, scrounging for every credit just so you can afford to eat, and then try to tell me how hard you had it with a full belly and a warm home!”
“You’re right, predator,” Bikim says contemptuously, “I am a child of privilege. My family has a long and decorated military tradition, my father is a captain for the space corps, a brahking hero, and I’ve reaped the benefits of that. That privilege came at a cost though, and that’s called expectations. Second best is not good enough and I've had to put in ten times the effort as anyone else my whole life just to meet standards! At least you grew up with a father who was there for you and loved you without the condition that everything you do is perfect!”
“All that talk about reading my file and you didn't even get past the first page did you?” I snap at him with a snarl. “ I didn't grow up with a father at all! He's been dead since I was in elementary school! Killed in action! I barely even remember him anymore!”
That one seems to give Bikim pause, but I’m not done yet.
“If you and your whole family are such a bunch of brahking heroes then how come you're here, working as a common garrison exterminator in a run-down backwater city like this?” I taunt. “Shouldn't you be out gallantly fighting the Arxur with one of the fleets or on a colony pacification force rather than making my life here harder than it already is?”
“That's the price for failing to meet expectations,” Bikim quiets down, drawing away from the world and into himself, “the price for knocking up a beautiful, wonderful girl right after graduation and refusing to get rid of it afterwards. You get cut off. You lose that privilege, and you do whatever you have to in order to provide and try to be a good role model for your son.”
Now that one threw me for a loop. In the short time I’ve known Bikim I’ve had a lot of thoughts about him, few of them good, but never would I have expected him to be the type to take responsibility… For anything. Still, there is one thing about his story that doesn't line up…
“Oh really?” I take a step back as I watch for his reaction closely. “I seem to recall Jonsco mentioned just the other day that your wife had left you for a Human.”
“Don't you bring that brahking primitive into this!” Bikim's anger flares in an instant before returning to a subtle simmer of regret. “We’ve just been having a… a rough patch in our relationship. I’m not giving up on us. I’ll win her back. She's just… confused and being taken advantage of! It's all that damn predators fault!” Bikim sighs and sits down on a nearby bench. “You're not the only one whose had something taken from them because of this job. You're not the only one without a home to go back to.”
Looking at Bikim now, a sad, pathetic man moping on the bench with nothing better to do on his rest claw than to try to externalise his inner pain… I find it hard to stay angry at him. He's still a narcissistic brahk ass and a complete jerk, but it's hard to truly hate someone when you actually know them. I had made quite a few assumptions about him when we first met, and he certainly hadn't helped my impression of him since, but… perhaps I was wrong to judge him so harshly?
“Nah,” the voice chortles, “he’s a piece of speh that got what he brahking deserves for being an insufferable prick.”
Overhead the intercom crackles to life and I can hear Jonsco's voice reverberating over the airwaves.
“Officers Vaesh and Sawvek please report to the briefing area for assignment. Repeat. Officers Vaesh and Sawvek please report to the briefing area for assignment.”
“Sounds like it's time for your first field assignment, Kid.” Bikim says, staring up at the intercom. “At least it gets you out of my wool. Try not to brahk it up and make the rest of us look bad.”
“Hmph.” I turn to leave, muttering to myself. “Stupid brahkass.”
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A/N - Hello! Sorry this one took a while. Like I mentioned before I got delayed working on my Ficnapping chapter as well as a crossover One-shot that's still in progress (but hopefully will be done soon). In other news we have new art of Sawvek's life-changing encounter in the Builder's Lane Bloodbath as drawn by Miglove and you can still find that and everything else Nature of Family in the new Master Post linked up above.
If you like the story then please remember to upvote, comment, and use the “!Subscribeme” function to be alerted to all new posts. I post as often as I can but real life has a tendency of getting in the way and my job makes it almost impossible to keep to any kind of schedule. Your engagement and support go a long way towards helping to keep me on track and motivated, so thank you very much for reading and I hope you'll stay tuned for next chapter!

I believe Cameron was most likely attacked by just one large bull/tiger shark, which is seen clearly at four points in the video:
1) When he is bumped on his right side as it rams him (sharks like bulls/tigers ram their prey first to test if it is likely edible)
2) When the shark turns around in the water as it passes him and hits the boat, showing clearly everyone its presence
3) When it follows behind him and rises to grab his legs
4) As it cruises away a few seconds after this attack with the dorsal fin seen between the ropes (sharks typically bite, then cruise while chewing/swallowing, then return to bite again)
I posted my primary thoughts on the evidence for this and what I believe likely happened here: https://old.reddit.com/cameronrobbinsSHARK/comments/1cqlc1y/summary_and_evidence_for_known_events_what_do_you/
If you watch those videos and think about the timeline, it all lines up perfectly and I believe one large bull/tiger does adequately explain everything that is visibly seen in a linear fashion.
CAMERON'S SWIMMING
The last point that has puzzled me and many people focus on is his weird, uncoordinated, and aimless swimming at the end after he turns around away from the shark.
Fantasy sadists who imagine a flurry of 100+ sharks attacking him at once (like Lexusant on YouTube) would have us imagine he has been bitten on every limb by this point.
I believe it is most likely based on what we have seen that he has not been bitten at all yet and the first bite is the obvious one on his legs, which causes him to scream twice and get pulled under.
The counter claim of preceding bites comes mostly from the idea that he is not swimming well after he turns around, since we see no other clear sharks besides the four sightings I listed above.
But think about this for just one second: Why would he be swimming well at this point?
CAMERON'S PSYCHOLOGY
This is a 18 year old boy who has jumped into the pitch black ocean off a boat. He has no way to get back on the boat. He has been bumped by a massive shark in the dark, then sees the shark turn around right in front of him. It even lifts its head above the water so he can stare it right in the eye, eye to eye from ~10 ft away. Likely he has even seen its teeth.
Imagine the sheer terror, dissociation, panic, and hopelessness. His entire body is likely freezing up in fear.
He turns around to go the other way as anyone instinctively would. But what does he see now? The endless black ocean ahead away from the boat. Where is he going to go? And what does he know is still right behind him?
He knows he cannot outswim a massive shark in the ocean. And how can he swim out into the empty black? Where will he go? How will this help?
I think this moment is partly why this video is so haunting. You can see the absolute hopelessness and desperation take him over. It is understandable. It is what any of us would feel.
He is probably wondering if this is real. If he will wake up. What he can do.
He looks back over his shoulder at the boat as if to ask: What should I do? To wish he is still there with everyone. But the other students are yelling and screaming nonsense. One guy is even mocking him. He is alone.
In total we only see 2-3 kicks/strokes of his own volition from this point before the then jolts him from his legs below, lurching him forward.
REASONABLE EXPECTATIONS
Expecting anything resembling normal or well coordinated swimming in these brief moments is almost certainly unrealistic. He has just seen a shark face to face in the dark of night and realized he is about to be eaten alive. He knows from this moment he has absolutely no way to escape.
He is likely in shock. Swimming now in any way (besides perhaps just to float) has no purpose, no goal, no objective, no hope. How terrified would you be if you saw such a massive shark face to face - dorsal fin and eyes, mouth and all pointed towards you just moments before, alone in the water in the black of night? What would you be doing in the water at that point?
What would you do if you turned around as he did, and in the other direction was just empty black ocean extending farther than you can swim?
Just thinking about it I begin to freeze and tense up. The hair on my skin raises. My swimming would likely become stiff, aimless, and uncoordinated. There is nowhere to go. No purpose. No hope. What can one expect?
ALTERNATIVE HYPOTHESIS: THE UNSEEN INVISIBLE OTHER SHARK
I cannot say for sure that he was not bitten on his left arm in the 2-3 seconds the camera pulls away. However, logically I think we can agree it could not have been the giant tigebull that almost certainly sequentially: (1) rams him, (2) turns around in front of him, and (3) follows him to take his legs. It is not in the right position to have bit him in these moments.
So it would have had to be another unseen shark. It would also have to be a tiny (or completely invisible?) shark, because to get its nose over his arm and bite it without everyone freaking out yet again as he faced the boat and without us seeing the thrash afterward would have been impossible.
The idea this left arm bite occurred and the offending tiny invisible shark disappeared immediately again to explain his poor swimming is less logical to me than simply understanding the sheer hopelessness, terror, and emptiness that would have overtaken him.
Obviously we can only speculate on things that occurred off camera. But I think everything is actually quite explainable in very simple terms without needing to imagine hypothetical sharks that are never certainly seen.
We already have four clear sightings of a massive shark and the timeline and positions of those sightings track a straight line that is logical and coherent.
CONCLUSION
He was likely dead the moment the shark bumped him. Hypothetically, perhaps, in retrospect, he could have convinced this shark he was not food had it been daytime. In that case the shark might have had a better look at him to realize he is not the usual prey. And if Cameron had studied shark videos, he might have known to keep face to face with it and try to redirect the nose (like shark influencers do) before it bumped him.
But once a shark like this has decided to eat you and you are unarmed there is obviously nothing you can do. I am sure he knew this just as anyone would in that moment.
Perhaps the idea of a feeding frenzy and loads of sharks in the water is more interesting to some. But I believe the story is more clear and coherent as just one large shark that targets him and is then seen clearly four times over the course of the brief video.
I don't think his terrible swimming at the end necessarily implies anything besides the fact that he has just seen one of the scariest sights a person can see, knows he is about to die, and knows there is absolutely nothing he can do about it. The angle and him turning over his right shoulder (which would extend his left arm down into the water to stabilize hidden along the axis the camera) can also explain some of this.
We will never know but the more I think about it I believe this is more plausible than the alternative theory - which is that a tiny invisible shark bites him on the left arm as he faces the boat, without thrashing, in just the 2-3 seconds of missed time, and then disappears again all the while inducing no specific screams from the crowd despite their perfect viewpoint of his left arm at this time to have witnessed it happen.
Any thoughts? What would you be feeling in that moment? How do you think your swimming would look? Where would you be trying to go? What would you be expecting him to do in these last moments of his life?

File Sequence: <Beginning> -First Contact[10]- -Conclusion- <Legends>
_______________________________
<Archives>
_______________________________
Secret Files: <CoS[1]> -Cos[2]-
...
...
...

Devouring Cancer

________________________________________________________________________________
Meat. /mi:t/
Me it. /mi/ /:t/
It me. /:t/ /mi/
It’s me…
We are eating ones of ourselves…
________________________________________________________________________________
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
/C̶̢͈̈̂͒̀̋̾̓͌Ô̶̻͉̠̱͈̳̮N̸̫̹̱̯̣̣̻̐̽͒̎̃̆̕͜Ǹ̴̛̛͙̫̇E̴͕̮̻͇̒͐̀C̶̳̤̠͔̺̚T̴̘̑̈́̂͛̂̏E̶̡̩̝̮͇̤̣̋̏͗D.
/Mellator Matrix Mind: Inner Core.
/Unit: great [AVALON] the first
/G.R. Era.
/Memory File transmission: Generalized perspective
/Gender: N/A[Neutral]
/Age: {Human equivalent: 2001 years}
/Race: Grrrr’atrrr
/Species: N/A[Hive Mind]
/ Additional verification: Class>>> [Cancer Cells]
/Cradle planet: Ci-3301
/Home planet origin: Mupan
/First person POV not applicable. Generalized Spectator mode.
/Sequence Code: 5-18-5-8 19-1-23 20-8-7-9-14-11-5-12-2-13-21-8
/Memory transmission in 3…2…1…
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Hunger…
It’s all that drives us. It’s all that unites, connects us… All that pulls us, all that defines and binds us…
Our story began long ago. It all started with a single parasite cell. Not the greatest primordial ancestor indeed, but every Apex Predator started somewhere. But back to our history… That very first cell was our first grandmother, as well as the beginning of our entire civilization. Hard to tell what was the trigger for it’s evolutionary change, as time wipes all. Perhaps it was desire to become something better? Awakening? Or maybe just spontaneous mutation in one of the genome chains, occurring by changes in environment? It really doesn’t matter. All what matters is that that cell evolved…
It didn’t happened quickly of course. Our first grandmother was no different than an average cancer cell that is present in nearly every life form, even us. It just growed into one small neoplasm, or simply, a cancer tumor. But that tumor slowly made it’s way to the brain. We know that because that’s how we, as well as our ancestors, assimilated everything for millennia…
It is impossible to determine which one of the prey species was honored to become the meal of our first ancestor, but it was clear that that feast was something that never happened before. That tumor did not just sucked the nutrients dry till the brain dies from the protein starvation, taking the tumor along the way with it. No, that tumor assimilated it. And that tumor learned. Learned from it. And it saw the world for the first time.
Assimilation is not as easy as other inferior beings think. First, your cell needs to find the prey cell. Then it needs to envelop the cytoplasm of that cell to properly assimilate it. However, after assimilating the “Host”, your cells need to take properties of assimilated cells and even function for the prey organism for the time being so it won’t suspect anything. It is a long, tedious and fatiguing process. That’s why we just ambush other prey organisms, tear them apart, and devour them for protein supplies, to avoid all that bustling.
And say what, the prey doesn’t make it easier for us either. As our first ancestors quickly learned, prey can be sentient too. It is inferior, weak, pathetic… And yet it can create great weapons to stop us. For [decades] these beings create astonishing amount of that pesky, venomous and disgusting antibiotics and chemicals to kill our minds. For thousands of [years] they set our flesh on fire, making us scream as we die in agony cell by cell.
And yet we prevail. When they make those chemistry compounds they call “Cure”, we gain immunity to it. When they set our bodies ablaze, we spray them with our blood and teeth, making their bodies to slowly blister as we eat them inside out. When they close their doors on us, we use ventilations, slithering right above their heads or below their {feet}. When they use special protection suits, we just tear them apart. And when they completely quarantine themselves, thinking that they are safe, we pretend to be one of them, striking from behind…
What is the most amazing thing about this prey? Well, aside that their flesh is delicious… They are clever. And they know how to build stuff. Weapons, tools, technology… Everything to increase the odds of survivability and comfort of their pathetic kind. And by devouring their minds, we gain all this knowledge as well! We learned how to grow cattle to saturate our hunger, we learned how to create faster means of transportation that even the fastest members of our swarm can’t out-crawl with their appendages. And most importantly; we learned how to reach the skies…
Among the prey species that we feast upon, there was a special class, or caste, of highly educated specimens, who called themselves “scientists”. These specimens learned how to use metal, fuel, radiation, and other inedible and in some cases straight up harmful components of nature, and turned them into what they called “Spacecraft”. A special vehicle, capable of leaving the atmosphere of our planet. Something that sounded like fantasy, even for the boldest ones of us, who sometimes managed to grow wings and flew high in the sky. It was a fantasy until we consumed their heads and the knowledge they possessed along the way. From them we gained knowledge of the schematics of these space vessels, and most importantly; the schematics of FTL drives. Devices capable of traveling among the stars with “superluminal” speed. And so, after conquering and discovering each and every corner of our planet, we soared to the great unknown, right into the void…

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
/Transmission mode: Spectator. Centralized perspective.
/Subject: Verrruur. Grrrr’atrrr. Lead hive mind of the Hunter Fleets.
/Transmission in 3…2…1…
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We flew among the stars in our glorious ships made out of strongest titanium fusions and covered in our eternal flesh. Yes, what wasn’t made out of the metal hulls and electronics, was made out of sheer muscles and flesh tissue. So many cells… So much nutrition… We could withstand decades without the food and still hunt like our greatest hunters back on Mupan(Apparently, that’s how prior sentient prey species happened to call our planet, and we didn’t really bother to rename it, as for us it was widely known as just plain“Ground, floor, or land”). Our strongest weapons, combined with our most dissolving acid spitters, made us the strongest and most feared hunters, “cementing” our history as the strongest Apex Predators in the galaxy! We defeated, devoured, and assimilated everything… It did not matter if our enemy was a leviathan, an enemy prey fleet, or even an entire planet. If it could be eaten, it was eaten…
Until it wasn’t…
On yet another great crusade in search of delicacy for our insatiable fleets, our sensors captured a strange, but nonetheless familiar signal. The impulse of FTL drive. We made a serious double, and even triple checking of our radars to avoid a major nutritional loss due to false readings. After our intels captured, properly verified, and confirmed the signal, our intercoms just exploded with thousands of jaws:
“Food?”
“Food…”
“ Food! FOOD!!! Food! Food! Delicious prey! Food! We shall… FEAST! Food! Yes!!! Food! FOOD!!! We haven’t ate for [Month]! At last… Some good food… Food! Juicy food… Flesh of prey…
Food! The succulent meat…”
Yes, we felt joy. And anticipation of hunting down these unknown but likely very delicious organisms. It was like opening the present. You don’t know what was inside these flying metal cans, but you sure know that it was likely to be something edible.
Oh, we never were so wrong in our glorious history.
We did not saw them at first, that’s how black and cloaked they were. When we finally identified our “prey” we saw it was a small cluster of black ellipsoids, just hovering there. They did not tried to contact us, like other naive prey organisms did. They were completely silent...
“We will smash you like the eggs you are!” we foolishly thought back then...
They slowly turned frontwards when we approached them. Their range was astonishing, picking our smallest drones instantly before they could even scream, like if they were the candles that these black horrors just blew out.
When we finally reached the required distance and fired our acid sacks and laser guns however, they were still there, not blowing up, retreating, or even moving an [inch]. Then we opened all the airlocks(if we weren’t already outside) and enveloped their ships in our mighty grip, not stopping to pour their shields with our acids and plasma. Usually, after a few unpleasant zaps of enemy shields, they just popped and the ships just were crack open like the [nuts].
But not them...
They did not crumble and exposed their hulls with screaming prey just getting sucked out in the vacuum as usual, no, instead they started to grow bright red. Redder than our flesh and blood…
And burned. Burned stronger and more painful than any flame. Our drones roared in pain but we couldn’t hear any of their songs of torture in this vacuum of silent space. Hundreds of megatons of our flesh clusters was just turned in ashes or were torn off and become drifted dead lumps of burnt meat. Our intercoms filled with screams of fear and agony, our minds losing their mass and density, turning into undeveloped children.
"Father? It hurts…” could be heard from countless drones. And any of them that tried to escape, were sniped with red beams of such accuracy, that our best spitters could only dream of. It didn’t last long when we were the only operating guide ship of entire Armada that was so ingloriously butchered. And then we felt the warmth…
No… NO!
All weapons of this black "eggs" were pointed at us, our last mind. The last memories flashed as we slowly were burned to death. The last though of our last tumor was the realization that there was someone stronger than us. Someone who cannot be eaten. The bigger Predator…
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/Memory transmission File disconnected.
/Reason: Biological death of the Subject.
/Cause of death: Sterilization.
/End of data log.
/D̵̛̤̂͜I̵̢͎̬̍̄̂͌͋S̴̢̛̙͇̯̽̔̾́͝C̸̭͓̰̤͋͆́ͅÓ̴͖̜̯̻͂̃̉N̵̨̧̦͙̳̍̾̕N̴͙̬͓̽̃̂̇͂͝E̵̠̬̠͉͒C̵̢̛͚̪̭̭̼̿̎T̶̝̈́͋͘͜Ì̸̢̱̙̤̽͑̽̈́̍ͅŌ̵̗̬̑̍̽̒N̷͖͖̗̗͚͈͗͛...
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VANCOUVER—Many people switched out alcohol for psychedelic edibles during the pandemic. But JJ Wilson, the eldest son of multibillionaire Lululemon founder Chip Wilson, went one step further. Not satisfied with simply “feeling amazing” and not being hungover, he decided to become one of the world’s first psychedelics tycoons.
In 2021, JJ Wilson, scion of the yoga apparel empire, co-founded a pharma-grade psychedelics manufacturer which he named Optimi Health. He stumped up start-up costs of more than $2m, a figure matched by his fellow co-founders, with more than $10m coming from financing rounds. The company is today on the brink of receiving a top-tier Health Canada license to purvey naturally-grown psilocybin and lab-made MDMA to legal medical markets around the world.
“I’m on a 30-day mushroom microdose protocol right now,” Wilson told The Daily Beast at a bistro in his home city of Vancouver, Canada. “Recreational therapeutic treatment can help make good people great.” A brave new world is coming, he predicts, in which most people will microdose psychedelics to banish daily scruples, enhance focus and boost well-being. After a half-century war on psychedelic drugs, this seems almost fantastical but in this near future, taking mild, even sub-perceptual, daily doses of psychedelics could be as normal as multivitamins, Wilson expects.
These psychedelic capsules, which will in many cases be blended with non-psychoactive mushrooms like reishi and lion’s mane—so-called adaptogens said to help stave off neurodegenerative decline—may replace antidepressant drugs. Some registered psychiatrists are already rumored to be prescribing psilocybin microdoses under the table.
“Psychedelics are the next yoga,” Wilson says, noting that the ancient Indian spiritual practice was the first mainstream form of meditation to encourage Westerners to take a break from a smartphone-fuelled modern life which has helped spawn a mental health crisis. He believes psychedelics will take that up a notch, and then some. “It’s all a part of people wanting to optimize their life, health, and how they operate, to be the best version of themselves,” Wilson says, as he sips a lemon and ginger tea. (He said he had four coffees earlier, as well as 250mg of psilocybin).
Full story:
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/lululemon-scion-jj-wilson-plots-004655748.html

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Sorry that this one is a little late, I've been busy recently. To see my previous monthly reviews, please visit this link.
I've tried a couple of vegan sausage rolls this month. First was the Walls Vegan Jumbo Sausage Roll. It was ok, certainly edible, but nothing amazing and a bit expensive for just one sausage roll. 6/10.
Next were the OMV No Pork Sausage Rolls. There were much nicer than the Walls sausage roll and were a little bit cheaper, too. 8/10.
Tesco Plant Chef Mushroom Pizza is genuinely the nicest pizza I have ever tried. The cheese and dough is delicious, and it has just the right amount of spinach and mushrooms on top. I love this pizza. The only drawback is that it is slightly more expensive than other supermarket pizzas. 9/10.
The BOL Teriyaki Noodles were abysmal. It was like eating rubber bands and cardboard dressed in cheap golden syrup. Do not try these nasty noodles. 1/10.
Galaxy makes a tremendous vegan hot chocolate. It tastes just as good as their regular hot chocolate, but doesn't make you feel bloated after drinking a mildly over-sized mug. Like many vegan products, it is more expensive than the animal-abuse variant, but the price is justified by the experience of silky-smooth hot chocolate being poured down your throat. 8/10.
Expertly crafted from only the best organic PVA glue, Violife Greek style block finally allows you to experience what is was like for the kid who ate Pritt Sticks in the back of the classroom. To be fair, I didn't like dairy Greek cheese before I became vegan, but I can hardly imagine that it was this bad. Seriously, yikes. 1/10.
Tesco Free From Red Pesto is nothing special, but it's tasty and is a great addition to any quick and simply pasta dish. It has a mild tomato flavour, so it won't stand out when added to pasta bakes or pizza, but added in with pasta and some veggies it makes for an excellent enhancement. 7/10.
CAKE! CAKE! FINALLY! Vermondo Vegan Marble Cake is a block of happiness. I would eat it all in one sitting if I didn't think it would give me everlasting abdominal pain. It's greasy, but it's delicious. 7/10.
OMV Jerk Mac and Cheese Flavour Pasta makes me want to jerk with hot sauce. This is just another supposedly-instant pot-based vomit-smelling pasta fuckfest. Oh, and it actually looks like vomit, too. It gets a 2/10 purely because I ate most of it because I was very hungry.
Mrs Crimble makes some delicious vegan chocolate macaroons. Dense, oily, and with a tendency to give me stomach cramp, it's everything I look for in a sweet treat. Mrs Crimble could taste my vegan sausage any time. 7/10.
Alpro are back at it again with their Devilishly Dark Chocolate Dessert. Basically just their milk, but thicker and more expensive. Very good, but just get the milk. 8/10.
Vego Whole Hazelnut Vegan Chocolate Bar is my replacement for Toblerone or a choccy orange. Overpriced, thick hunks of chocolate with tasty hazelnuts mixed in. It will be my new addiction I'm sure. I ate two in one week. Try this now. 9/10.
Well that's everything I tried this month. As always, I hope this has helped you to decide which products are worth trying or avoiding. If you have any recommendations, please let me know in the comments. My local shops are Tesco, Lidl, and Asda. Love y'all! <3

Devouring Cancer

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
Meat. /mi:t/
Me it. /mi/ /:t/
It me. /:t/ /mi/
It’s me…
We are eating ones of ourselves…
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
/Connected
/Mellator Matrix Mind: Inner Core.
/Unit: great [AVALON] the first
/G.R. Era.
/Memory File transmission: Generalized perspective
/Gender: N/A[Neutral]
/Age: {Human equivalent: 2001 years}
/Race: Grrrr’atrrr
/Species: N/A[Hive Mind]
/ Additional verification: Class>>> [Cancer Cells]
/Cradle planet: Ci-3301
/Home planet origin: Mupan
/First person POV not applicable. Generalized Spectator mode.
/Sequence Code: 5-18-5-8 19-1-23 20-8-7-9-14-11-5-12-2-13-21-8
/Memory transmission in 3…2…1…
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Hunger…
It’s all that drives us. It’s all that unites, connects us… All that pulls us, all that defines and binds us…
Our story began long ago. It all started with a single parasite cell. Not the greatest primordial ancestor indeed, but every Apex Predator started somewhere. But back to our history… That very first cell was our first grandmother, as well as the beginning of our entire civilization. Hard to tell what was the trigger for it’s evolutionary change, as time wipes all. Perhaps it was desire to become something better? Awakening? Or maybe just spontaneous mutation in one of the genome chains, occurring by changes in environment? It really doesn’t matter. All what matters is that that cell evolved…
It didn’t happened quickly of course. Our first grandmother was no different than an average cancer cell that is present in nearly every life form, even us. It just growed into one small neoplasm, or simply, a cancer tumor. But that tumor slowly made it’s way to the brain. We know that because that’s how we, as well as our ancestors, assimilated everything for millennia…
It is impossible to determine which one of the prey species was honored to become the meal of our first ancestor, but it was clear that that feast was something that never happened before. That tumor did not just sucked the nutrients dry till the brain dies from the protein starvation, taking the tumor with it, no, that tumor assimilated it. And that tumor learned. Learned from it. And it saw the world for the first time.
Assimilation is not as easy as other inferior beings think. First, your cell needs to find the prey cell. Then it needs to envelop the cytoplasm of that cell to properly assimilate it. However, after assimilating the “Host”, your cells need to take properties of assimilated cells and even function for the prey organism for the time being so it won’t suspect anything. It is a long, tedious and fatiguing process. That’s why we just ambush other prey organisms and devour them for protein supplies, to avoid all that bustling.
And say what, the prey doesn’t make it easier for us either. As our first ancestors quickly learned, prey can be sentient too. It is inferior, weak, pathetic… And yet it creates great weapons to stop us, For [decades] these beings create astonishing amount of these pesky, venomous and disgusting antibiotics and chemicals to kill our minds. For thousands of [years] they set our flesh on fire, making us scream as we die in agony cell by cell.
And yet we prevail. When they make those chemistry compounds they call “Cure”, we gain immunity to it. When they set our bodies ablaze, we spray them with our blood and teeth, making their bodies to slowly blister as we eat them inside out. When they close their doors on us, we use ventilations, slithering right above their heads or below their {feet}. When they use special protection suits, we just tear them apart. And when they completely quarantine themselves, thinking that they are safe, we pretend to be one of them, striking from behind…
What is the most amazing thing about this prey? Well, aside that their flesh is delicious… They are clever. And they know how to build stuff. Weapons, tools, technology… Everything to increase the odds of survivability and comfort of their pathetic kind. And by devouring their minds, we gain all this knowledge as well! We learned how to grow cattle to saturate our hunger, we learned how to create faster means of transportation that even the fastest members of our swarm can’t out-crawl with their appendages. And most importantly; we learned how to reach the skies…
Among our prey species, there was a special class, or caste, of highly educated specimens, who called themselves “scientists”. These specimens learned how to use metal, fuel, radiation, and other inedible and in some cases straight up harmful components of nature, and turned them into what they called “Spacecraft”. A special vehicle, capable of leaving the atmosphere of our planet. Something that sounded like fantasy, even for the boldest ones of us, who sometimes managed to grow wings and flew high in the sky, until we consumed their heads and the knowledge they possessed along the way. From them we gained knowledge of the schematics of these space vessels, and most importantly; the schematics of FTL drives. Devices capable of traveling among the stars with “superluminal” speed. And so, after conquering and discovering each and every corner of our planet, we soared to the great unknown, right into the void…

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/Transmission mode: Spectator. Centralized perspective.
/Subject: Verrruur. Grrrr’atrrr. Lead hive mind of the Hunter Fleets.
/Transmission in 3…2…1…
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We flew among the stars in our glorious ships made out of strongest titanium fusions and covered in our eternal flesh. Yes, what wasn’t made out of the metal hulls of our ships, was made out of sheer muscles and flesh tissue. So many cells… So much nutrition… We could withstand decades without the food and still hunt like our greatest hunters back on Mupan(Apparently, that’s how prior sentient prey species happened to call our planet, and we didn’t really bother to rename it, as for us it was widely known as just “Ground, floor, or land”). Our strongest weapons, combined with our most dissolving acid spitters, made us the strongest and most feared hunters, “cementing” our history as the strongest Apex Predators in the galaxy! We defeated, devoured, and assimilated everything… It did not matter if our enemy was a leviathan, an enemy prey fleet, or even an entire planet. If it could be eaten, it was eaten…
Until it wasn’t…
On yet another great crusade in search of delicacy for our insatiable fleets, our sensors captured a strange, but nonetheless familiar signal. The impulse of FTL drive. After our intels captured the signal, our intercoms just exploded with thousands of jaws:
“Food?”
“Food…”
“ Food! FOOD!!! Food! Food! Delicious prey! Food! We shall… FEAST! Food! Yes!!! Food! FOOD!!! We haven’t ate for [Month]! At last… Some good food… Food! Juicy food… Flesh of prey…
Food! The succulent meat…”
Yes, we felt joy. And anticipation of hunting down these unknown but likely very delicious organisms. It was like opening the present. You don’t know what was inside these flying metal cans, but you sure know that it is likely to something edible.
Oh, we never were so wrong in our glorious history.
We did not saw them at first, that’s how black and cloaked they were. When we finally identified our “prey” we saw it was a small cluster of black ellipsoids, just hovering there.
“We will smash you like the eggs you are!” we thought.
When we fired our acid sacks and laser guns however, they were still there, not moving an [inch]. Then we opened all the airlocks(if we weren’t already outside) and enveloped their ships in our mighty grip, not stopping to pour their shields with our acids and plasma. Usually, after a few unpleasant zaps of enemy shields, the shields just popped and the ships just were crack open like the [nuts].
But not these…
They did not crumble and exposed their hulls with screaming prey just getting sucked out in the vacuum, no, instead they started to grow bright red. Redder than our flesh and blood…
And burned. Burned stronger and more painful than any flame. Our drones roared in pain but we couldn’t hear them in this silent space. Hundreds of megatons of our flesh clusters was just turned in ashes or tore off and were drifting and dead lumps of burnt meat. Our intercoms filled with screams of fear and agony, our minds losing their mass and density, turning into undeveloped children.
Father? It hurts…” could be heard in countless drones. And any that tried to escape, were sniped with red beams of such accuracy, that our best spitters could only dream of. It didn’t last long when we were the only operating guide ship of entire Armada that was so ingloriously butchered. And then we felt the warmth…
No… NO!
All weapons of this black eggs were pointed at us, our last mind. The last memories flashed as we slowly were burned to death. The last though of our last tumor was the realization that there was someone stronger than us. Someone who cannot be eaten. The Bigger Predator…
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/Memory transmission File disconnected.
/Reason: Biological death of the Subject.
/Cause of death: Sterilization
/Disconnected
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food in anime is... weird
whenever it's on screen, a tremendous amount of focus in animation and detail is put into making it look as delicious and savory as possible, and in general if your anime doesn't make food look tasty enough to plaster on a restaurant menu, then the people will be disappointed and call it low effort. this obsession in the anime industry actually originates from this show named Yoake Mae yori Ruriiro na... erm... this one, which had such terrible looking cabbages they were ridiculed for it and ever since anime as an industry has vowed to never make food look that stupid ever again
and yet funnily enough, despite this seeming obsession with food, it is very rarely used to convey meaning in stories that aren't expressly about cooking. The closest many shows get to having meaning in their food is to use the always hungry anime character trope, where one such character, usually the protagonist, and especially if it's the protagonist of a Shonen battle series, will have a bottomless pit of a stomach and appetite, and loves eating to an almost obsessive degree.
I often view this as a representation of ambition. These characters dream big and always being hungry for more. Never being satisfied enough to not eat more is a great, if basic, representation of their personality. From my understanding in anime history, this particular trope was popularized by goku, and was as a result, present in many other series that started soon after dragonball exploded. 2 of the biggest and most famous examples of characters inheriting this trait are luffy from one piece and naruto from... wait i forgot the name of the show
Using these 2 examples, I think that one show naruto is from is a fair bit worse at incorporating meaning into its food than one piece, and I wanna talk about what the difference is.
in "that show", food is almost never really used to convey anything thematically or inform a character's personality. it feels like naruto only likes to eat a lot because he's the protagonist and that's what's expected of him. Why is choji pudgy? is it anything about his character? no, it's just because he eats choppers rumble balls as a super power and so the auther went "he swallows pills to get strong so he swallow everything else too."
one piece by contrast I feel does a lot more than either dragonball or naruto with food. luffy's cannonical ability to eat as much as he does is explained by his stomach being made of rubber and capable of expanding as he eats, and food directly works it's way into the power system for him, as many of luffy's gear techniques require huge amounts of energy and body fuel and leave him incredibly fatigued. on whole cake island he looks like this after just a single day of intensive combat with no snacking. And this is taking place on aan entire island made of cake and deserts you can eat, a place where it litterally rains syrup instead of water. This is an act of protest to sanji, as sanji is attempting to leave the crew and luffy told him to his face that he would starve to death on purpose unless his next meal was made by sanji. it's an important plot point and character moment for the 2 of them. sanji is a cook and a major part of his backstory involves him being stranded on the ocean with no food and starving for months, only being rescued within an inch of his life. This experience greatly informs his character, being willing to serve anybody who is hungry, even if its his enemy and it would be in his best intrests not to, like when he served don krieg and his pirates knowing full well as soon as they finished eating they would have the body stregnth to follow their plan and slaughter everybody at baratie and steal the ship, which is the major conflict of that arc. he puts several lives in danger, and condemned some to death because to him feeding somebody who is experiencing starvation is more important.
I jokingly called chojis pills the chopper rumble balls, but they really similar, even including massive side effects after eating 3 of them. however the meaning they have to the characters are quite different. choji just happened to be born in a family that uses them, and knows eating the third one means death (even though it really doesnt) and thats his only personal connection to the pill. by contrast, chopper invented his rumble balls himself using his medicinal knowledge as a doctor, and only discovered the third one is dangerous by accidentally eating 3, causing him to lose concious control of his body and turning him into a monster that attacks indescriminately. he's fearful of the third ball not because he'll die, but because he's afraid of what he'll become and afraid he'll hurt innocent bystanders, which is counter to his entire role and character as a doctor
this is not to shit on "whats that shows name", but to say that Food is clearly an important thing to oda, the author of one piece, as it plays a vital role in multiple staw hats personalities, and informs the decisions and situations the characters find themselves participating in, in a show that on the surface has nothing to do with food. it is a testimate to how you can use food to convey meaning and character in your world
but while food is meaningful and important in one piece, it's downright SACRED to golden kamuy. whereas one piece has food a comonplace staple and uses it to convey meaning once ever 20 episodes or so, or ocasionally throughout an entire food based arc like baratie or whole cake island, golden kamuy uses food to convey themes, messaging, character backstories and decisions, power dynamics, violence, connecting characters, foreshadowing major plot points, detecting lies, and more, and it does this on an episodic basis. there are SCARCELY few episodes of golden kamuy with no food or mentions and discussions of food. it is the very lifeblood of the show. it is such a big facet of the show that golden kamuy is often jokingly referred to by its community as a cooking show, and it puts more meaning and care into the food it's characters eat than many actual cooking anime.
food is the most universal languages in the entire world, and a fact of life is that everbody needs to eat. we may not see eye to eye, we may not eat the same thing, but we all eat. what we eat and why can tell us a lot about people, about our cultures and beliefs. islamic and jewish people don't eat pork, and hindu don't eat beef due to their religious beliefs. vegans care for animals and don't feel that they can personally participate in the consumption of living things. vegans that also try to make their dog or cats vegan are animal abusers who just do it to feel superior to others. what you eat can say a lot about where you're from. american cuisine looks far different than russian or scottish cuisine, which looks far different than african cuisine. ox penis is something ocasinally eaten in china, and pufferfish in japan. whale skin and blubber were eaten by the various inuit people, along with most every other part of the whale, due to availability. the land we live on can dictate what we eat in a very real way. most places with strong cultural beliefs against eating certain foods have a lot more variety in edible resources than other places. many hindu people refuse to eat beef or are straight vegetarians, and they mostly live in places where other types of food are easy to come by. by contrast, you would be hard pressed to find a vegetarian inuit, simply because that's not sustainable where they live, and their beliefs reflect that. cultures that historically had less food available to them are strongly abhorrent to letting any part of their food go to waste, and many indigenous people historically see using as much as humanly possible from the animals you hunt as a necessary part of honoring and thanking that animal, and not letting anything go to waste.
food is the most universal language, and it might just be the most meaningful one as well. offering someone food as a form of thanks is a lot more meaningful than just saying thanks for example. it's a way we connect to people, and is why most first dates are at restaurants. it's even a language that can transcend species. we train animals by offering food as rewards, and pets are often most attached to the person who feeds them. food is one of the most important aspects of who we are as people, and nobody writing fiction seems to understand this more satoru noda, the creator of golden kamuy... him and ryoko kui, the creator of dungeon meshi, but as much as I love that manga thats not what today's video is about.
I'll be focusing on the anime in this video, so meals that only happen in the manga or that happen after the current point the anime is at will not be talked about here. Truth be told, I don't really know where this script is going as I'm writing it, I just want to talk about many of the various ways that golden kamuy uses food, because I think it's something a lot of shows can learn from.
food is first brought up or used in golden kamuy as early as... oh would you look at that the very first line in the entire show! golden kamuy starts off in a flashack during the russo-japanese war on 208 meter hill. the very first interaction with any character in the series is sugimoto in the trenches eating an ant off his finger and commenting it tastes sour. he then comments that he would eat the russians he kills if thats what it took to survive. this establishes in only a few seconds that the living conditions in the trench are terrible, people are hungry, and that sugimoto is a survivalist, but didn't consider desertion, instead of you know... canibalism. this is all before the charge up the hill, before we learn he's a monster in close quarters and is nicknamed sugimoto the immortal. that's a LOT of information given in just a couple lines using an ant. we know sugimoto proably wasn't seroius about eating people, but are almost given the impression throughout the scene that if push came to shove he would do it. sugimoto is a person who does whatever it takes to survive. this is one of his most central character traits and is conveyed using food in a matter of seconds within the start of the show.
soon ashirpa is introduced, a young ainu hunter and joins sugimoto as they begin a quest to... uh... skin people for the purposes of making a treasure map... look golen kamuy is a weird show okay?
ashirpa and sugimoto are the 2 primary leads of the show, and neither of them are particularly familar with the cultures of the other, but they grow closer and bond over the course of the show and learn about each others lives and backgrounds. this is shown throughout the show by the meals they eat. when they kill a bear that was hunting them in episode 1, ashirpa comments that although the ainu to hunt and eat bears, she can't eat the bear they killed, as eating a wenkamuy: a bear that's eaten people before, is against her people's beliefs. so it's not until episode 2 that the pair share the first meals on their journey. they make chitatap, an ainu dish of raw meat that is meant to be made only using fresh kills, and ashirpa offers sugimoto the brains of the squirrel they hunted raw on a spoon as a snack for him to try. sugimoto is naturally at first repullsed by the idea, but after being preassured by ashirpa and not wanting to offend her he eats it, and reluctantly admits it's good. It's not clear in this scene whether he actually thinks it's good or if he's placating ashirpa, but it's definetely clear he still finds at least the concept of eating a brain gross. he also eats the chitatap and likes it, but believes it would taste even better by adding miso to it, and this time it's ashirpa who looks upon in disgust as she see's an unfamiliar japanese paste she insist's must be poop is willingly added to his portion of the meal. she even refuses to try it upon being presented with some, denying the same courtosey that sugimoto showed by eating brains just earlier. this is changed by their meal in meal a few episodes later when she tries miso at the insistence of both sugimoto and their new traveling companion shiraishi, and much like sugimoto admits it's good, even if it still visualy repulses her. from this point on, the characters share and mix both of their cultures into the food they eat and slowly become more used, accepting, and eventually enjoying each others cuisine, something shown with some hilarious screenshots. this mirrors of course their growing trust in each other. we don't need to be told that these 3 characters are closer when we can see it visually by sugimoto passionately sucking on a giant eyeball, or drunkenly babybirding shiraishi chewed dumpling, or ashirpa developing an obsessoin with miso and also wanting to try dried persimons because sutimotos favorite food and... fuck im getting emotional thinking about that scene again. I talked about it more extensively in my anti-war video on golden kamuy, so go watch that. but its so clear and disturbingly beautiful how much these characters have grown to care for each other by viewing their eating habits.
chitatap, the first meal they properly shared, becomes used repetedly throughout the show as a way to meet new people and intermingle characters, because it'a a dish meant to be prepared by everyone eating it together by taking turns chopping the meat, and we get to learn about every character by how they interact with the process of making chitatap, such as hijikata being cool with using his historial treasure of a katana, one of the few relics of his samurai days, to chop up raw meat because because a little kid thougt it would be cool and fun, or how ogata thinks he's too cool for school to chant chitatap while he cuts like everyone else, but the second time they make the meal he says it once just loud enough for ashirpa to hear.
meals have also been used to foreshadow events in golden kamuy, like when kioranke's betrayal is foreshadowed in this meal immitating the final supper. kioranke is in the seat and position judas in, and yes those are human corpses that have been turned into mannequins at the dinnertable, why do you ask?
on the topic of kiorankes betralal, after sugimoto is shot in the head and believed by ashirpa and half the characters to be dead, the fun joyous meals stop temporarily in the show. ashirpa is still eating and still enjoying hunting and trying new food, she's still ashirpa, but for the first couple of meals, the animals the capture reportedly don't taste good, such as this seal thing and musk deer. the only meal we were told as good was a snack made by someone else and eaten off screen. it's only after kioranke tells ashirpa that musk deer was her father's first kill and she finds a new purpose in the journey to learn more about her father and the karafuto indiginous that she begins to eat good food again.
food can be a tool in storytelling to display dynamics between characters. this is often in shown as a differentiating factor between the wealthy and poor, such as in the hunger games, but that's not the only dynamic that can be shown through this. to use lt tsurumi as an example, his second major scene where we learn about him as a character is a conversation with sugimoto after sugimoto has been captured by the 7th division. during this scene, sugimoto is handcuffed and sitting straight in his chair with 2 armed gurads while tsurumi casually questions him while eating dango on a stick, offering nothing for the captive to eat, representing a power dynamic showing which of them is in charge. tsurumi eats the dango throughout the scene, and the way he eats it is somehow offputting, and animated in such a way where you know there is something about him that just isn't right. I never thought eating dango could be intimidating, but here we are. I am terrified of this man. sugimoto does actually get to interact with the dango in this scene too, so we can contrasst it with how tsurumi did it to learn something... how did sugimoto get to interact with the dango again?
oh right, he gets STABBED THROUGH BOTH CHEECKS BY THE DANGO STICK by tsurumi as soon as he declines he gets caught in a lie. it's clear at this moment that the niceties and fun in games are over. tsurumi caught sugimoto in a lie about his identity, and the gloves are off.
food can also be used to show a sickness of the mind. ogata, who could be the topic of a whole nother video, has a hatred of monkfish stew. this is one of the only emotinal connections he has been shown to have food, and was born from his parents. ogata is the son of a high ranking military official and a geisha. ashamed of the mothers side of the family, the father forced them to leave and never make contact again while ogata was still a young child. over time, his mother lost her mind and began to only make monkfish stew to eat. it was his fathers favorite meal, and in her sickened mind she convinced herself that if she made it than one day the father would come back. she made it day after day after day. ogata picked up shooting and would kill ducks and birds to bring to his mother so he could eat something else and she would still only make monkfish stew. one day he put rat poison in the stew and killed his mother. ogata isn't right in the head either, he's a psychopath. he didn't kill his mother out of hatred of her food, but out of simple curiorsity to see if his father would care to show up at the funeral. he didn't.
monkfish stew here is used in golden kamuy as a representation of stagnation of the mind. denial that things will never go back to the way they were for the mother. it represents an insanity, doing the same thing over and over without change in hopes for a different outcome.

Perhaps you don't know about that the illicit sales in 2022 surpassed legal sales by a staggering 164% in the United States? This eye-opening statistics shed light on the complex dynamics within the cannabis industry, presenting both challenges and opportunities for legal operators.
As per a recent study by New Frontier Data, cannabis market has reshaped itself in past decade. Here's what has been changing:-
Market Disparity: Despite of the rapid growth of legal cannabis markets, the illicit market continues to thrive, fueled by factors like pricing, products variety, quality and accessibility.
Consumer Behavior: By simply dissecting the consume base, the report uncovers distinct segments, each with its own set of preference and purchasing habits. From frequent users solely relying on the unregulated channels to curious individuals considering their first cannabis experience, there's a diverse spectrum of potential customers waiting to be tapped.
Strategies for Success: There are legal operators that face most of the challenges of converting illicit consumers into loyal customers. To achieve this, they must address the barriers that hinder adoption, including pricing competitiveness, product diversity, quality assurance, and convenience of access.
Tapping Into New Market: Beyond targeting existing illicit consumers, there's a vast pool of untapped potential among those who are open to trying cannabis for the first time. By catering to their preferences, particularly a growing interest in non-flower products like edibles and topicals, legal dispensaries can carve out a niche and expand their customer base.
The insights gleaned from this report not only shed light on the current state of the cannabis market but also provide a roadmap for navigating it's complexities.
Source: https://www.benzinga.com/markets/cannabis/24/05/36913413/why-do-americans-still-buy-non-legal-weed-illicit-cannabis-sales-3-times-higher-than-legal-marij

Originally posted by jGatzB.
Through the decades of combined Board & Bureau Operations Reports, there has only been a single mention of an Eldritch Spider sighting--a belated depiction of the event that transformed Jesse Gatz before appropriating the name jGatzB. No other operator has ever witnessed a creature like it, in the alleyspace or any cabinet reality, therefore this report remains unverified.
Gatsby describes his initial weeks in The Arcade as a Nomad, before an encounter with a Nothing Machine (NM #001 - CENTRAL NETWORK) seems to have snapped him back to consciousness. He spent the following days carefully inspecting his surroundings and becoming familiar with them, returning to the Nothing Machine frequently as a means of restoring his focus. During this time, he describes playing various machines using scavenged quarters, in an attempt to root out some escape-room style design that might be solved to escape. Gatsby does not recall finding a Token, and was likely not paying much attention to the difference in coin discovered in the dark, but we believe his encounter with the Tabula Librum cabinet to have been the first near-incursion into a cabinet reality.
Gatsby describes attempting to play a Gauntlet styled arcade cabinet, covered in 80's D&D-style artwork and labeled "Tabula Librum." In his belated report of the event, "The machine boots, goes to white, goes to black, and then--I don't know how to say this--but the screen turned a color I have never seen before. I can't even describe what color it was. I just know it was extremely vivid, like the saturation was cranked out, but the hue value was unfathomable." He describes being mesmerized by the sight during what we now understand to be the "entry window." As no attempt to enter the machine was made, something instead made the attempt to climb out.
"This fat spider-leg comes jutting out of the screen--like, black and chitinous, but glistening with this blue-green mucus. Then another one, and another one, and then the thing's pulling itself out through the static, snapping its fangs at me and moving faster than anything I've ever seen. It bit me on the left shin, right through my pants leg--and when it bit me, it felt like the way dial-up tone SOUNDS. Like I had stuck a fork into an electrical socket the moment the edible hit. I remember my pants leg burning off first, and my left pocket buzzing like my phone was finally working--except it was pulling away from me like something was trying to fly out of my pocket. I felt a different sensation rush through me then, and when those feelings started to mesh together, I passed out."
We know that at that moment, Super64 turned the corner, saw the spider, grabbed it by the skull and crammed it back into the cabinet screen. It struggled, nearly matching Super's strength before Super finished the chicken philly in his left hand and began shoving with both free hands. Afterwards, Super unplugged the machine, tacked up an "Out of Order" sign, and left. Having not yet formally met Jesse Gatz, he simply presumed this stranger to be dead.
"When I woke up--and it took a long time for me to really feel AWAKE--my body was gone. I don't know how else to describe it, except like logging into a match in-progress as a spectator. When I looked down, there was no one there, but I could feel myself--like I was invisible. It wasn't until I headed back into the darker hallways that I started to see myself too--only I wasn't myself anymore. I had become..." //Gatsby motions to himself// "...this hole, right? I'm like a hole with a purple nebula on the other side. And of course, if the light is right, you can still see the features of my face. I have an outer shell, right? But it isn't skin anymore. My hair isn't really hair. But it's all retained its correct shape and dimensions. I weigh the same, if that makes any sense. I can eat, drink, gain, and lose weight. My body functions, but isn't there. I am the hole where Jesse used to be."

My name is not important. I was born January 2nd, 1993 with Cerebral Palsy. My mother and father were loving in raising me at an early age. So loving in fact, that my five year old sister became resentful of me and mistreated me for the next 15 years of my life. She would often treat me like I was useless, or ignore what I needed. I remember being 6 in the Santa Claus Day Parade with skin tight pajamas on in -15 weather. The doctor said I could've had hypothermia. I remember being 7 and watching the Hunchback of Notre Dame, with her saying "see, that's you!" as my mother bought me the Quasimodo doll. I remember being told that I would "Never make it" in highschool because I was a loser in her eyes.
This is where the problems started.
I can forgive my sister, for what happened, and have since move past it, but the self deprecation started there. It did not help that for a lot of my childhood, my father was clinically depressed and rarely talked about my life or needs or concerns. I still remember in February, 14, 2001 when Dale Earnhardt died him curled up into a ball on the couch. He became depressed for many years. I also got molested by my cousin around this time (which was a fun memory to remember)
With a Depressed father and antagonistic sister. My growing up life was less then ideal. Of course it didn't help that when my friends would come over for a sleepover, my sister would make fun of me. It taught them how to use my own insecurities and vulnerabilities against me, and it was pretty easy. Getting a word in edge wise while having a physical disability is pretty tough, and its even tougher when everyone labels you the goofy dumbass of the group.
This kept getting worse and worse until high school, where my friends would simply demean me. I felt like I couldn't compare to them, and they just wanted to see me do funny things. I quickly taught myself to be the court jester in order to crave attention: constantly demeaning myself in order to achieve the goals I needed to achieve. Demeaning myself was the only way I had control in a body that I couldn't control.
By Grade 12, I truly did hate myself. I got all the attention I ever wanted. Heck I even won Prom King. But still, people did not treat me as their equal. I was always the stupid one. This coupled with the fact that no girl was interested in me was very frustrating.
I went into University with the hopes of dating. I met a girl who was super Christian. Like the whole "I don't drink and have premarital sex" schpiel. She said if I became religous like her she would "definetely" fall madly in love with her. So I went to her church, did everything I asked, all for her to say at the end of it "No I can't date you. And I can't do it because your disability would be a burden on me". Might as well just killed me right there and then. But I moved forward
By the end of university I had graduated and become a school teacher. I soon then met my ex Girlfriend Christine. Christine also had Cerebral Palsy and lived in British Columbia. I fell for her. She fell for me. We would talk virtually for hours and we were both happy.
Until one day that happiness turned to abuse. Every weekend I would spend 4-6 hours helping her with her schoolwork, only for her to say that I was "selfish" and "not trying hard enough". Due to my depreciation of myself by most in my life, I believed her. And so I was now in a cycle of being with someone who would only show me love when I did things for her. Sometimes I would get emails that said "I wish I could hit you". And somehow, I kept going
She pressured me to move to British Columbia to be with her 3 years later. There was no way she could move to me. Her mother (who I believe now is a narcissist), would always get involved in our conversations and the two would gang up on me, beating down any kind of backbone I could have. As her mother said to me once, "Remember Darrell, I always get my way"
I moved to BC. in July 2022 I felt relief at first as I thought I would never have to fear Christine again. I mistook my elation for freedom, when in actuality it is submission. As soon as I got to BC, I began to be heavily abused by her mother and her. Her mother for example, called me the nickname "boy". Like "Hey boy, go get something out of the fridge". She also once yelled at me for saying "Hi" to her in a text, because that was disrespectful and I am "Not like one of your students".
It just kept getting worse. Every day I would trudge over to Christine's house (a 1.5 km walk), and I woud sit with her and help her with feeding, or video games, or art, or schoolwork. I became enmeshed in her life, considered myself co-dependent. I didn't think about my needs or wants anymore, only hers. After all, that's what I thought being a good boyfriend was. I went home in September for a week. Christine was angry with me, calling me not dedicated enough. She would call me a piece of shit when she was mad at me.
I started thinking I was co-dependent. I even made A reddit post about it here:
https://www.reddit.com/AmItheAsshole/comments/xaesky/aita_for_going_home_and_seeing_my_parents_instead/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
This should've been the biggest hint looking back, but I kept thinking that I was the problem. So I went back home and I read a book about Codepedency. Eventually I contacted the author and sat with her for a session. I wrote the following in my Explanation to her:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1alWZHZW8oCY3qJrQCLZ86Me1K_vuQqTM/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=100060198783867941141&rtpof=true&sd=true
And you want to know what she said when I asked for a solution? "I don't know". Because if someone is codependent on you (as I realize now my girlfriend was with me), the whole point is to make them do thing independently. Except you can't do that with someone with a disability. So, I'm now entering a territory where solutions to my problems DON'T EVEN EXIST.
September and October go by. Christine and I talk about me being more independent. She says she agrees but then goes back to her old ways. I ask her in November, "Can I go home to see my parents?" she responds with "I guess you're not committed to me". And accuses me of being a Mama's boy. Her mother gets in on this, and when I say my sacrafices should prove my dedication to her, she responds with "she's sacraficed by waiting for you". So I am convinced and I tell my parents I am not coming home. My parents get even more worried that I am getting controlled (and I am). My sister gets involved. She tells me I'm no longer part of the family because I keep going back and forth between going and not going. She thinks I am being abused. She's totally right, but at this point I am being brainwashed to think that I am not enough and need to prove it to Christine and her mother. She tells me to "not bother coming home". So I now have 3 people constantly calling me a shitty person: My sister hates me because I am not coming home. Christine hates me because I am not good enough for her, and her mother, Nansey is reinforcing all of this heavily.
To make matters worse, Nansey is constantly age regressing me. If I want to go to a movie with Christine, I must schedule it with her mother. If I want to stay over and cuddle Christine, she must call her mother in approval. I can only take the route home she approves walking home, otherwise she will get angry at me. I must keep my apartment tidy at all times. She wants me to buy certain foods. She will tell me if I am being fair to Christine or not. Lots of Triangulation between the 3 of us: some in my favor, some not, but always with her mother in control. If I get mad, her mother says that I have anger issues.
With these three forces constantly pulling me, I begin to develop CPTSD. It is a 4-way psychological abuse, where I must pick between my family (with a member who hates me), and my best friend (who Ashley has gotten involved) or my partner (who also hates me). Either way I am screwed. A paradox. So the tug of war begins for the next few months. My body is storing all of this trauma, not knowing what to do with it. I begin to experience dissociation, and derealization. I remember putting my hand on a stove to see if I could feel it (Thanks Kanye for that idea). My cerebral palsy is already brain damage, so we are now adding brain damage on top of brain damage.
My cerebral Palsy coupled with CPTSD begins to destroy my body. I am constantly tight due to CP, and now the PTSD gets added to the mix and I need the hardest dopamine hits imaginable to stay alive. I turn to pornography and masturbation as an outlet, acting like a feral animal in order to stay afloat. Every Saturday, I begin my night after seeing Christine by getting an edible, wearing a diaper (which I found self soothing however fucked up it is), and I masturbate.
But as the pressure begins to get to be too much, I start getting addicted to crazier and crazier pornography in order to keep myself alive. I am fully dissociating when I do this, because I don't want to feel anything. I basically become suicidal and think to myself "what's the point of even existing" and start doing anything to get that hit. It is at this point I begin to turn to CP (yes that kind) in order to fulfill my urges.
I go home at Christmas. My sister is still angry at me and I am scared of being around her too. She gets my best friend to yell at me and they both make me feel like shit. On New Years Eve, I write a suicide letter. I have full intentions to end it.
But I go back to BC and the trauma bonding continues. I keep telling Ashley that I know Christine is bad for me, but I can't have the confidence to end it. Of course, now I know that it is trauma bonding. This continues for another few months, as I try to make both sides happy.
In March, my sister wanted me to go to a MUSE concert, and so I secretly flew out to Ontario to see the concert, all while faking a background in my room to make it appear to my girlfriend like I was back home (this is how scared I was). After the concert, I get on a plane back to BC just so I can see my girlfriend for 2 DAYS, then fly back to Ontario for a week. Essentially I did 2 round trips from Ontario to BC in a 72 hour span, just to make other people happy while lying to both sides.
By April, Summer was fast approaching and I had very little money left. Nansey suggested at the age of 31 that I work at Red Seals Summer Camp, a job usually designed for teenagers. I realize I have to get out or I will be age regressed to forever.I decide to commit to my old job late April.
At the beginning of May, Christine yells at me from 10 AM, to 8 PM over texting because her mother wouldn't allow her to make a video call. When her mother leaves, she turns on video and yells at me until her worker forces her camera off No matter what I do, I can not make her happy. I know the end is approaching. I want to go over to her house to end it the next day, but she won't let me.
I leave to go see my parents on May 24 weekend. When I come back, Nansey will quarantine me for 2 weeks at my house. I need to break up with her face to face. And after a week, I get that chance
I meet them in public, in the park. Nansey comes over to me with a written list of demands and "stop signs" for the both of us. She demands that if either one of us get mad we hold up the stop signs. As soon as she leaves I listen to Christine talk and read her demands, On it? "When I am angry, please don't respond to me"
These aren't written by Christine, they're by her mother. I tell Christine that I cannot tell the difference between her and her mother. I tell her its over, and walk away with the stop sign and list of demands in hand. Nansey eventually finds me and rips these out of my hands. I am terrified. I run home and lock my doors. I type an account of everything that happens. I go to the police, but no crime has been committed according to them,
I am all alone in BC now with very few allies. I am terrified as Nansey could come any time she wants, I block her on everything so she cannot speak to me. But back in September, I gave my copy of the apartment contract to her to make photocopies. She keeps these and starts harassing my landlord. She says that whenever I drop items off at the house (to give Christine back her stuff) I am harassing them. I want to die, but as long as I stay in my house I am okay. I start selling my stuff hoping to go back home by July. I even start to heal a bit, but I am so terrified that I am constantly in a Freeze because of the looming threat of Nansey
And then the cops came and seized my house 2 weeks later. Throughout all of this time while being totally traumatized, totally terrified, and completely abused, I had used CP. They take me out in handcuffs and seize most of my electronics. I had used CP because while being abused I was suicidal and hated myself. An act of self destruction, taken to the max by a brain that had both Cerebral Palsy and CPTSD to manage. Also a way to masturbate and still get the cortisol out of my system.
I am in a cell for 6 hours. The police talk to me but I am barely in sane mind. The lawyer I talk to says that they'll just search my stuff. They find CP in a few areas. When they ask why, I only respond with the word "Innocence".
I am back in ontario now, its been 6 months and they're still doing the investigation. My life is over, and I don't think I had any control over any of it. And it was due to CP, CPTSD, and CP
I am pretty sure I will end my life, as after doing extensive research its nearly impossible to prove in Canadian court that Psychological Abuse caused either mental illness or automatism.
So this is how my life ends. I will be ending my life in just a few days. I have no idea whether I am a good person or not. Perhaps this is up for you to decide. But I am happy that my life is coming to an end. Nobody should have to go through what I have been through
Good night

Gus the donkey.
Adventurers often obtain donkeys to carry extra gear or loot. Strong and sturdy, these beasts of burden are also remarkably efficient, able to forage almost anywhere, and needing only straw or hay and a little grass now and then when on the farm or in town. These un-sung heroes need a little love. Here's a d100 list of Donkey Details (I suppose you could use most of these for mules, too):

1. Laughing Donkey. This donkey's hee-haw sounds remarkably similar to human laughter. Makes this particular sound only when PC's do something stupid or risky.
2. Scared of open fire -- torches, campfire, etc; runs away. Can tolerate lanterns (but kinda iffy).
3. Practical Joker Donkey. Takes one step to the side when anyone tries to load anything onto it and the loader is not looking.
4. Union Donkey. If ever loaded over 3/4 normal carrying capacity, goes on strike, will only walk in circles until it gets a long rest.
5. Back-Peddling Donkey. When spooked, always tries to back up 60 feet, no matter what's back there.
6. Depressed. Need to talk to it and pet it for 10 minutes after each long rest (and on cloudy days) to get it moving.
7. Battle Donkey. This one loves battle and always charges straight toward any battle noises it hears. No holding it back. Ooh-rah!
8. Passenger Donkey. Happy to carry riders (bareback, without a saddle), but doesn't want anything tied / cinched around it (will try to scrape items off against a tree, wall, the ground, etc.).
9. Allergies. Donkey has allergies in spring and fall. Sneezing fit 2-in-6 chance each hour. Drops stuff.
10. Lie-Detector Donkey. This donkey can sense when a humanoid is lying. Likely via some sort of pheromone cue (?). Farts if a lie is told within 10 feet of it.
11. Marathon Donkey. This donkey has incredible endurance and can travel twice as far between long rests.
12. Will carry sacks, corpses, or other floppy things, but not wooden boxes or other things with sharp edges.
13. Scared of crowds. Simply WILL NOT enter a village / town / city.
14. Has tapeworms, must feed twice the normal rations until diagnosed and healed. Poop can give tapeworms to any humanoid. Heads up.
15. Streetwise Donkey. Grew up in a city, pulling a delivery cart. Knows all the streets of the city, how to get anywhere. You tell it where you want to go, it will slowly, at a plodding pace, lead you there. It can't talk or understand any commands other than place names in that one city.
16. Vagabond Donkey. This donkey will occasionally wander away from the group and stay gone a few days, but then it always returns. Where does it go? Why? No one knows.
17. Mother-bucker. Will attempt to buck any female humanoid who attempts to ride.
18. Nauseated, 2-in-6 chance of throwing up in a big way every 10 minutes for a day
19. Scared of its own shadow. On sunny days, freaks out every now and then.
20. Large Donkey. This donkey is a freak of nature and is twice the normal size. It can carry four times the normal load and requires four times the normal feed/rations. It won't fit in most stable stalls, through most doorways, etc. Commoner strangers are usually freaked out by it; they are often intimidated by it (2-in-6 chance), or try to kill it (1-in-6 chance) because they think it is a bad omen, enchanted, cursed, undead, etc.
21. Stealthy Donkey. This donkey walks in a way that is completely silent, even on cobblestones, and shifts its weight as needed to eliminate the sounds of any clanking gear it carries. Instinctively hides itself behind/inside/undearound any available cover, at all. You turn around, there it suddenly is, looking at you in the eye. Can freak a dude out.
22. Loves butterflies. Chases every one it sees.
23. Counting Donkey. Point at a group of objects and say "Count." Donkey will tap its front right hoof a number of times equal to the number of objects in the group. Counts about one item per second. Can't spell worth a damn, though.
24. Aqua-donkey. This donkey loves playing in streams/rivers/ponds/rivers. Runs to them. Likes to splash everyone else. Thinks it's funny.
25. Catches a parasite disease and will die in 3 days unless healed
26. Chip-On-Shoulder Donkey. If there are other donkeys / horses around, hates them, always picking a fight.
27. Blessed Donkey. This donkey enters the scene carrying a religious messiah, or so they say.
28. Talking Donkey. Amazing! But, a bit finicky, only talks 1-in-4 times you ask it to, and at other random times as DM deems appropriate. Also, only knows a few words/phrases: yep, nope, hungry, tired, idiot, run away.
29. Hates the heat. Half movement and half carrying capacity on hot days > 80F. Needs double water rations.
30. Ate some weird mushrooms along the way. Temporarily blind for 1d4 days
31. Hates elves, they're too self-absorbed and snooty, always making you walk through trackless forests, getting you stuck in the underbrush.
32. Prudent Donkey. Has 1-in-6 chance of perceiving a trap within 30 feet. Will look at the trigger mechanism, hee-haw loudly, and not take a step toward it. No matter what.
33. Mystical Donkey. Has some kind of weird ancestral donkey mind-meld with a caster in the group, constantly complaining (mentally) that "this s**t is too heavy, dude," "can't you give a donkey a break?," "how about carrying some of this s**t yourself, tough guy," etc. You can't concentrate.
34. Lucky Donkey. When within 10 feet of this donkey, you can re-roll one roll per day.
35. Somehow, loves smelly green ogres who sing. Tries to run off with any such ogres encountered.
36. Hates humans, they make you work too hard, usually in larger towns or cities where the cobblestones hurt your feet.
37. Needs a bath, smells very bad. Indescribable, really. No surprising any foe while this donkey is around until it gets a bath.
38. Shy Donkey. Always tries to move behind you when you encounter anyone new.
39. Keen smell. Can smell most enemies within 100 feet and will hee-haw loudly to warn you. False alarm 1-in-4.
40. Sprint Donkey. This donkey can run at twice the normal movement rate, but only for one minute between long rests.
41. Drunk Donkey. Will only work when slightly inebriated. Must feed it a wee flask of ale, wine or whisky to get any work out of it.
42. Has one very short leg. Walks unevenly. Kinda funny, but only 1/2 normal movement rate.
43. Beautiful Donkey. This donkey is a very fine specimen of a donkey. Highly desired by donkey ranchers to breed other donkeys. Sells for double the normal price. Bit of a prima donna. Must be fed one apple or pear per day, or refuses to work. Resents you.
44. Hates the cold. Half movement and half carrying capacity on hot days < 50F. Needs double saddle blankets.
45. Sneaky. When you're not looking, has 1-in-2 chance each day of pick-pocketing something off the back of a random PC. Might drop it, might eat it, might fling it to the side of the road, might just hold it in it's mouth. Hard to say with donkeys.
46. Scared of snakes. Snake within 30' causes total donkey freak out.
47. Always tries to eat/gnaw whatever it is carrying (especially food) whenever you're not looking, ruins stuff.
48. Freaked out by undead. If it sees undead, or smells them (can smell 60' away), RUNS in the opposite direction.
49. Narcoleptic Donkey. Falls asleep, often.
50. Critic Donkey. When others aren't looking, looks at you and rolls its eyes. You swear.
51. Foraging Donkey. Grew up in the wild. If there is any vegetation around, at all, it can find it, find enough edible material for a meal, and feed itself, no rations required.
52. Shoe-Throwing Donkey. One-in-four chance of losing a horse shoe each day, won't walk until found or replaced.
53. Small Donkey. Can only carry half normal carrying capacity. But has a scrappy attitude and is NOT SCARED OF ANYTHING (immune to fear and intimidation).
54. Repressed anger. Tries to bite (for real) anyone within 5' who is not its owner (considers only one person its owner).
55. Back-Row Donkey. If there are multiple four-legged animals in the group, this one must be the last, in the back, or it won't go/work at all.
56. Vertigo Donkey. Always dizzy, walks in circles unless carefully guided constantly by hand.
57. Hates carts, wagons, etc. Will not pull a cart or other wheeled vehicle.
58. Wallowing Donkey. Enjoys a good roll in a mudhole/puddle. Every mudhole/puddle.
59. Deaf. You bought/raised a deaf donkey. Should have checked. Anyway, can't hear any commands. Won't respond to visual commands. Must touch the donkey to give it a command.
60. Musical Donkey. Gets indigestion often, becomes VERY flatulent.
61. Flying Donkey. This donkey has been magically enchanted to fly, only once in its life, for one minute. The wranglemaster must speak the command word: "Esel-burro"
62. Addle-Headed Donkey. Once per day, has a 1-in-4 chance of running in a random direction for 1 minute.
63. Hates the rain. Won't work in the rain. *OR* Hates the wind. Won't work in the wind.
64. Say-My-Name Donkey. You must call it by name to get it to do anything. It answers with a loud bray each time.
65. Hates dwarves, always making you work underground in the mines, and their beards are (somehow) scary.
66. Often gets a leg cramp, limping for 10 minutes, 1/4 movement rate.
67. Smoking habit. Will work only if you let it smoke lit cigarette or pipe while on duty.
68. Smart and independent. Anticipates and does exactly what you want 5-in-6 of the time, but disagrees and argues 1-in-6 of the time.
69. Lover Donkey. Wants to make baby donkeys, runs after opposite gender donkey (or horse) every time it gets the chance.
70. Has a drinking problem. Will always rush toward any water source to take a drink.
71. Is a hot head, always immediately charges and attacks any foe encountered. No holding him back.
72. Pregnant Donkey. This donkey is about to have a baby. 2-in-6 chance each day until baby is born.
73. Loves flowers. To eat. Will only do any work if given one bouquet to eat per day.
74. Pious. Has 1-in-6 chance each hour of stopping for 10 minutes, kneeling on front two legs, and praying to the donkey god "No Cargo Bob"
75. Death Wish Donkey. Is reckless, doesn't look where it's going, always running into things, chance of falling off cliffs, etc.
76. Dead pan smile. At the most dangerous / awkward moments, turns to a party member and gives the most ridiculous, hilarious donkey smile you have every seen. PC must make DC 10 Const saving throw or bust out laughing for 30 seconds.
77. Nervous Tick Donkey. This donkey kicks its left leg backwards randomly, every now and then. If anything/anyone is standing behind this donkey, there is a 1-in-6 chance that it kicks.
78. Cargo Donkey. Happy to carry items/supplies tied or cinched around it, but won't carry humanoid riders (bucks them off).
79. Homesick, always tries to run away and go back home (or to the place where you bought / found / raised him) every chance he gets
80. Perceptive Donkey. Has 1-in-6 chance of perceiving a secret door within 30 feet. Will walk up to it and put its nose on it.
81. Scared of water, won't cross a creek/rivepond/lake, etc. Definitely not getting on a boat.
82. Front-Row Donkey. If there are multiple four-legged animals in the group, this one must be the leader, in front, or it won't go/work at all.
83. Pacifist Donkey. Refuses to carry any weapons or ammo.
84. Glowing Donkey. This donkey glows faintly in the dark. Very dim light. No one knows why.
85. War Veteran Donkey. Missing one leg at the knee (maybe has peg leg). Opposite ear slashed off. Wears an eyepatch. Lots of scars. Can only carry half normal weight, but its kick does +2 damage.
86. Vagabond Donkey. This donkey will occasionally wander away from the group and stay gone a few days, but then it always returns. Where does it go? Why? No one knows.
87. Alert Donkey. This donkey has a 1-in-6 chance, on its own, independent of PC checks, of noticing an impending ambush. It will hee-haw loudly if an ambush is about to occur.
88. Ate some bad food / weeds, now has diarrhea, big diarrhea, 1-in-4 chance every hour for a day.
89. Expressive Donkey. Often has ideas and wants to share, "hee-haws" very loudly for 30 seconds. Sometimes indicates something important, sometimes not.
90. Large Donkey. This donkey is a freak of nature and is twice the normal size. It can carry four times the normal load and requires four times the normal feed/rations. It won't fit in most stable stalls, through most doorways, etc. Commoner strangers are usually freaked out by it; they are often intimidated by it (2-in-6 chance), or try to kill it (1-in-6 chance) because they think it is a bad omen, enchanted, cursed, undead, etc.
91. Hates halflings, their barn doors are too low and their generally cheery attitude is annoying.
92. Super-donkey. Can carry three times normal carrying capacity, but for only one-third the normal time between long rests.
93. Easily distracted by various things along the road ("Squirrel!"), constantly stopping to sniff / check out something.
94. Really thirsty today, requires twice the normal water ration for one day. Pees a lot. (I mean a lot.)
95. Wrong-way Donkey. Will only walk backwards. Half movement rate.
96. Ugly Donkey. This donkey is bow-legged, has a saggy back, missing teeth, ugly hair, warts, boils, is missing large patches of hair due to mange, somehow is always dirty, has flies, ticks, lice, etc. Nose usually runny. Eyes too. BUT, this donkey can Misty Step.
97. Shell-shocked Donkey. Scared of battle noises. Runs away from battle noises. Like, a quarter-mile away.
98. Hates strangers. When within 15 feet of an unknown/new humanoid, hee-haws loudly for 5 minutes. So embarrassing.
99. Picky eater, only eats store-bought straw/hay/whatever. Won't forage along the road/trail.
100. Loyal Donkey. Will not leave its humanoid wranglemaster unprotected. Will defend wranglemaster to the end. Will take an arrow or battle ax blow to defend wranglemaster. There to the end, no matter what.

https://professorbumblefingers.blogspot.com/
[edit: corrected a redundancy]

Previously, on Hell’s Kitchen…
The final 11 participated in Chef Ramsay’s own personal version of Wheel of Fortune, in which they spun for their ingredients and built their dishes from the ground up. In the blue kitchen, egos clashed, but it was Thomas who took over the leadership role, much to the annoyance of Grace. In the red kitchen, with Shane out of the picture, the undermanned red team managed to work together on their creation. When Ramsay tasted the dishes, it was the red team who had the edge, and they were rewarded with a horseback ride through the Santa Monica mountains, along with a scenic picnic with Ramsay himself. Meanwhile, the blue team were punished by cleaning both kitchens and prepping grouper for tomorrow night’s service, and tensions quickly arose between Thomas and the rest of his team.
In service, both teams got off to a slow start on appetizers, but while the blue team managed to right the ship on entrees, the red team sank due to a shocking performance from Deidra on the fish station and Everett’s confusion on garnish. Ramsay declared the blue team as the clear winners, but named Michael the best of the worst and asked him for two nominees from the red team. At elimination, Michael decided to nominate…
Michael: “Deidra.”
And…
Michael: “Everett.”
But Deidra’s meltdown on her supposed best station was the last straw, and with that, her dream of becoming the head chef of Gordon Ramsay Steak in Vancouver, British Columbia came to an end…
https://reddit.com/link/1cpom17/video/3pzlz672iuzc1/player
And now, the continuation of Hell’s Kitchen…
The chefs went back upstairs to the dorms after Deidra’s elimination, with Ramsay’s instructions to the blue team still echoing in their minds. Melody said in her confessional that she liked being on the blue team, and definitely didn’t want to leave Lauren again after they had just been reunited. As the blue team returned to their side of the dorm, Lauren said they should try to work this out as quickly as possible, and the three of them went into the bedroom to discuss it privately. Lauren asked Melody and Thomas what their thoughts were, and Melody said she wanted to stay and continue to prove herself as a leader on the blue team, while Thomas said that he wanted to go back to the red team, as he felt that he could help them get back on track and show Ramsay his leadership qualities in the process. Melody asked Lauren what she was thinking, to which Lauren hesitated. In her confessional, Lauren said that this was a tough decision, as she had already jumped to a new team once, and she felt comfortable working alongside the blue team. Finally, Lauren said that if Thomas wanted to go to the red team, she would support him, to which Melody agreed. Back in the main dorm, Grace said in her confessional that she hoped Thomas would leave so he would stop imposing his will on every challenge and she could start to assert herself as a leader. Meanwhile, Travis was relaxing and trying to keep his mind off his nagging injury, saying in his confessional that it wasn’t going to get any easier, but there was no way he was giving up on his dream.
On the red team’s side of the dorm, the four remaining chefs were in a somber mood after yet another loss in service, and a frustrated Michael said they needed to get their shit together and start winning services again. Everett was still shaken up after his second consecutive nomination, and said in his confessional that he absolutely could not afford any fuck ups in the next service, or it might all be over. Faye tried to assure him though, saying that they would bounce back from this and no one else was going home from the red team from now on. Ramona was also feeling frustrated, as she had only won a single dinner service out of the first ten, and said she was sick and tired of always being on the losing team. Everett agreed that the losing had to stop, but also said Ramona needed to step up and prove why she deserved to have her immunity pass. Ramona defended herself though, saying she had a good service tonight aside from one mistake, while Everett had totally failed on garnish. Faye tried to calm them down, saying they were all frustrated right now and just needed to get some sleep.
And soon afterwards, both teams did finally turn in for the night.
Challenge
The next day, the chefs came downstairs and found Ramsay waiting for them, along with Jon and Christina, and Michael said in his confessional that this had to be a special occasion for the sous chefs to also be present. First, Ramsay pointed out that out of the 20 chefs they had started with, there were now just 10, which meant he was expecting each and every one of them to start standing out as individual leaders, while continuing to be strong team players. With that said though, he reminded the blue team of what he had said last night, and asked Thomas who was going back to the red team. Thomas announced that he had volunteered and gotten everyone else’s agreement, and Ramsay told him to step forward, put his red jacket back on, and rejoin his old team.
With both teams now balanced again at 5 chefs each, Ramsay was ready to announce the challenge, but he started by saying he needed the help of some special guests. As he said this, the door opened to reveal season 2 winner Heather, season 6 winner Dave, and season 12 winner Scott, who each held a large poster displaying dishes which Lauren described in her confessional as looking absolutely delicious, while Melody said in her confessional that it was amazing to be in the presence of so many former winners. Ramsay told the chefs that all of these dishes did not come from a michelin-starred restaurant, but from right here, designed by chefs in previous seasons. Ramsay continued, saying that to celebrate 20 years of Hell’s Kitchen, he was bringing back the classic red vs. blue menu challenge for tonight’s service. To that end, he instructed the chefs to go back to the dorms and take some time to build their menus. Then, they would prepare 2 appetizers and 3 entrees for him. As a further incentive, he revealed that the sous chefs and the three past winners would join him in tasting their dishes and giving feedback, so he urged them to put everything they had into their respective menus.
Back in the dorms, both teams quickly tried to get to the task of designing their menus. On the blue team’s side, Lauren took on the role as the leader, as she asked the team for suggestions for her to write down. Travis said in his confessional that this was a huge deal, as he knew none of them wanted to disappoint Ramsay in front of several former winners, and they had to put their best foot forward with this menu. Early on, Melody began suggesting several ideas, saying they should go for a classical French menu with items such as mussels, beef bourguignon and a creme brulee dessert. Grace became annoyed very quickly and said in her confessional that Melody was just one of those chicks who liked to hear herself talk. Lauren, though, approved of many of her suggestions, and put forward a venison tenderloin as her own contribution. Travis also suggested they should try a flatbread, while Carole suggested a bistro salad. Lauren asked Grace if she had any suggestions, but Grace stood up and grumbled that it looked like the blue team clearly had this under control and walked out. Travis said this was getting ridiculous, while Carole said they could make a lot more progress without Grace anyways.
On the red team’s side of the dorm, it didn’t take long for Thomas to take over the leadership role again, though Faye said it needed to be a group effort. Ramona suggested adding lamb chops, as she felt confident she could work with it given her five star signature dish. Thomas changed it to a rack of lamb with his own garnish, and after getting the approval of the others, added it to the menu, though Ramona was annoyed in her confessional, saying that Thomas wouldn’t let anyone’s ideas stand on their own. Michael wanted to add veal parmigiana, which Thomas said seemed a bit too basic for what Ramsay would be looking for. Michael said in his confessional that it felt like Thomas had just walked in and assumed command of the team, while Thomas said he was simply trying to ensure they had the highest quality food to present to Ramsay and the former winners. While the others tried to toss out ideas, Faye noticed that Everett wasn’t saying much, and noted that he seemed much more quiet than usual, but Everett replied that he simply didn’t feel as confident in putting his own ideas out there. However, he finally suggested adding red snapper, which Thomas said was a great idea, though again, he decided that his ideas could elevate the dish, but Everett said in his confessional that there was no point trying to change his mind. Faye managed to get ribeye added to the menu, while Michael had better luck with his suggestion of a creamy butternut squash risotto.
With both teams having worked out their menus, it was now time for them to return to their respective kitchens and prepare their five dishes for Ramsay’s approval. As the chefs were heading back downstairs, however, Travis suddenly stumbled and cried out in pain, and had to be supported by his teammates the rest of the way down. Travis grimaced as he said it felt like something just snapped, and his ankle felt as if it were on fire. Melody said in her confessional that this was not good at all, and went to find the medic. While Travis was being examined, the blue team entered their kitchen, and Ramsay noticed that they were down a man, asking where Travis was. Carole explained the situation and said he was being checked out by the medic. Ramsay nodded and said while it would obviously be difficult, as their concern was rightfully on Travis’ health, the blue team needed to keep it together and cook to the best of their abilities. However, it was undeniable that the wind had completely gone out of the blue team’s sails, as Lauren said in her confessional that Travis was the level-headed person that had always kept them somewhat even keeled, and made the transition to a new team much easier for her and Melody. Melody tried to encourage the team by saying Travis was coming back and they had to give him a great menu to work with, it was clear that each of them were now feeling extremely anxious about Travis’ future in Hell’s Kitchen.
Outside the kitchen, Travis was being tended to by the medic, who said he would need to go back to the hospital, as the injury had worsened. Travis was close to tears in his confessional, as he said he would do anything not to leave, and knew if he left now, he might never get this opportunity again. Ramsay himself came out of the kitchen to check on him, and Travis pleaded to be allowed to stay, saying he could fight through this, but Ramsay said his health was the priority and he needed immediate treatment, telling him to wait until after service to make a decision on whether or not he wanted to continue. Travis finally accepted Ramsay’s advice and agreed to go to the hospital, saying in his confessional that he was about to make the biggest decision of his life, and the worst part was that he felt completely useless in his current condition.
Back in the red kitchen, the only one who really seemed to feel confident in the menu was Thomas, as he said in his confessional that it was annoying to have his team doubt him after all of the times he had come through in the past, but he was confident that Ramsay would love the food. Ramona said in her confessional that Thomas seemed like a good chef, but his personality made it very difficult to work with him, and she was tired of always having someone push her ideas aside. Meanwhile, Michael was cooking his risotto, saying in his confessional that he had to make this his best risotto yet, and despite his earlier annoyance with Thomas, the two of them still talked back and forth, and Michael joked that he like Thomas better when he was in a good mood, to which Thomas replied that if they won service tonight, he’d be in an even better mood. Everett chimed in, saying the blue team was in for a good old fashioned ass whooping tonight, as he was done playing around, and Michael said that’s exactly what they needed to hear, as he said in his confessional that it was great to have the old Everett back after he had gone quiet during their menu creation. Faye said in her confessional that her ribeye was looking great, and she couldn’t wait to show it to Ramsay.
As the thirty second warning was called out by Ramsay, the chefs began plating their dishes, and brought them to the pass as time expired. With the cooking portion of the challenge complete, Ramsay had some troubling news for everyone, as he pointed out what each of the red team’s members had already noticed, which was that Travis was missing from the blue team. Ramsay said that Travis had been taken to the hospital, and would not be participating in tonight’s service. Faye was stunned, saying in her confessional that she would never have wished something like this on one of her fellow chefs, especially after the way she went out last season. Thomas asked if Travis was alright, which surprised Ramona, as she said she didn’t know he had a heart, and Ramsay answered that it didn’t look good, but there could be no definitive statements made yet. Thomas said in his confessional that they had all made sacrifices to be here, and just because he saw himself as the clear best chef on either team didn’t mean he wanted his competitors to go out due to injury. With all this said, though, Ramsay said the focus right now had to remain on the challenge, and now, it was time for the chefs to present their dishes to him, Jon, Christina, and the three former winners, starting with the blue team, who presented Melody’s mussels, Travis’ onion flatbread, Lauren’s venison tenderloin, Melody’s beef bourguignon, and Carole’s sole meuniére.
Ramsay noted that everything worked well on paper, to which Dave agreed, as he said it looked like the blue team had a plan and executed it, which Lauren admitted should be mostly credited to Melody, who had come up with the concept itself. Ramsay asked what Grace’s contribution was, to which she said that the blue team clearly didn’t value her ideas very much, to which Lauren shot back that she could have had something on the menu if she didn’t storm off. Ramsay ran a hand through his hair in exasperation and said the menu looked more unified than the team at the moment. He then said it was a good start, but the taste was the most important factor. The dishes did get good reviews overall, though Jon pointed out that the presentation on Carole’s sole could use some cleaning up, and Christina cautioned Lauren and Melody on their meat temps, as the venison and beef were slightly dry, but Scott had high praise for the presentation on Melody’s dishes, with Ramsay noting that had been one of her strengths from day one, even if consistently cooking the food to an edible temperature had taken a bit more time. Melody laughed nervously in her confessional, as she said this felt as awkward as having a parent-teacher conference, but Scott said the creativity was definitely there, which got a huge smile from her. Overall, everyone seemed to agree that the menu was tight and cohesive, with Ramsay saying that they just needed to execute where it counted, during service.
Next, it was time for the red team’s menu to be put under scrutiny, and they presented Michael’s butternut squash risotto, Thomas’ lobster ravioli, Thomas and Ramona’s mint crusted rack of lamb, Thomas and Everett’s red snapper with an orange-mango beurre blanc, and Faye’s ribeye. Ramsay said that it all looked delicious, which Christina agreed with, as she said she was proud of the red team and how far they had come. Michael said in his confessional that it was an honor to get such a high compliment from their sous chef, and he hoped she would still feel that way after tasting the food. Thomas was showing some rare nerves in his confessional, as he said his fingerprints were all over this menu, and he knew it was good, but if for whatever reason, Ramsay and the others didn’t like it, the blame would swiftly fall on him. When it came time for reviews, the biggest criticism came on the rack of lamb, as Heather noted that it seemed undercooked, and Ramsay schooled Ramona, saying this was not what he expected at this stage, especially since she had cooked lamb better than that on day one. Dave also pointed out that the presentation of the snapper dish needed a lot of work, as it didn’t look as appetizing as it could have. However, the ravioli was praised as being restaurant quality, while Christina loved the flavor in Faye’s ribeye, and Jon said Michael’s risotto was one of the best he’d ever tasted, to which Ramsay agreed. Ramsay concluded that the menu was up and down, but had potential, and told them to make the necessary adjustments.
Ramsay thanked the former winners for coming back to help him critique the menus, and said he looked forward to seeing them tonight in service, which got all of the chefs’ attention, as Lauren said getting to serve their own dishes to former champions was all the motivation they could ever have needed.
Pre-Service
Now that the menus had been tested out, Ramsay told the chefs it was time to start prepping the kitchens and familiarizing themselves with their menus, as he was expecting an amazing service from each team tonight.
In the blue kitchen, Melody said in her confessional that it was tough to concentrate when Travis’ absence was the clear elephant in the room, and she was just hoping he would be okay and they could win this service for him. Grace, on the other hand, said in her confessional that while she wasn't actively rooting for injuries, she was here for one reason and one reason only, to win, and she wasn’t about to get all weepy and sentimental over a competitor leaving. Carole seemed more nervous than usual, and Melody checked in with her, as she said that she felt like she had been struggling in the past few services, but Melody said they had to keep their heads in the game right now. Lauren said in her confessional that this was her time to step up as the leader of a demoralized team and show Ramsay that she had what it took to become his executive chef, and with their own food on the menu, there were absolutely no excuses for failure.
In the red kitchen, Thomas was annoyed that Ramona and Everett had made such basic mistakes in the menu tasting and made perfectly good dishes look subpar, but he was determined to lead the red team to victory tonight. Michael said they had to win this one with the blue team being a man down, and Ramona said in her confessional that she was going to have a perfect service tonight, no matter what station she was on, as it was the only way to avoid being nominated. Everett was also eager to avoid nomination, as he had gone up two nights in a row, and knew he couldn’t afford to fuck this up, not when it was a menu they had created themselves. Faye said in her confessional that Michael, Thomas and herself definitely seemed like the top contenders right now on the red team, and hoped that Ramona and Everett could put their inconsistencies aside and step it up. Ramona ended up asking Faye for advice, as she felt like Thomas had something against her, but Faye said it was only going to get more cutthroat from now on, as this was uncharted water even for her.
Ramsay gathered the chefs one more time and reminded them that it may be their menus, but it was still his standard, and he was not going to put up with any bullshit. With that said, he told them that they were all still here for a reason, and now it was time for them to show him, then, he turned to Marino and told him to open Hell’s Kitchen for Red vs. Blue Menu night.
Dinner Service
Diners streamed through the doors for the 11th Hell’s Kitchen service of season 24 for a very special event, as the red and blue teams’ menus would be competing against each other for the first time in ten years. As guests took their seats, including three very special guests - the former winners and their families - it wasn’t long before orders began to enter the kitchen, and it soon became clear which menu had the early edge in popularity, as all of the tickets were for the blue team.
With their menu getting all the early attention, it was up to Lauren on appetizers and Melody on fish to get the blue team off to a great start, while Grace was on garnish and Carole was on meat. With one chef on each section, Lauren said there was nowhere to hide, and it was time for each of them to put up or shut up. Lauren had no problems early on with Travis’ flatbread dish, as she was able to get her first table accepted, and said in her confessional that this one was for him. She was also able to communicate well with Melody on fish, who also had no issues serving the first table of mussels. Grace on garnish said she was here to show out and kick everyone’s ass, regardless of team, as she was still pissed off about being left without any dishes on the menu. Her first table of salads though, was overly watery, and Ramsay said he did not expect that from her when she had made better salads than that weeks ago. Grace was able to bounce back though, and appetizers continued to be smooth sailing for the blue team, although Lauren said in her confessional that having the more popular menu also meant a greater workload, but she was confident that she and Melody could handle this. Sure enough, with their excellent communication and teamwork, appetizers were flying out of the kitchen at a steady pace, and a very important guest, season 2 winner Heather, was seen enjoying her meal. Melody said in her confessional that she was very impressed with Lauren’s leadership, as she really seemed to have things under control on apps. Soon, the blue team was ready to get started on entrees.
In the red kitchen, Faye was on appetizers, Ramona was on fish, Thomas was on garnish, and Everett was with Michael on meat. Unfortunately, their menu was not turning out to be as popular as they had hoped, as they had to wait for several minutes after the blue team to get their first ticket, and Thomas said in his confessional that this was just getting embarrassing. Finally though, orders did begin to stream into the red kitchen, and early on, Faye and Ramona communicated well between their sections, as Faye noted in her confessional that Ramona was really speaking up and sounding confident for the first time, which she was proud of, and they were able to successfully deliver their first table of risotto and lobster ravioli. Ramona said in her confessional that nothing was going to stop her tonight, as she had to prove why she belonged in the top 9. Both did have some stumbles though, as Ramona didn’t make enough ravioli for a table, and had to be asked by Ramsay if she knew how to count, while Faye sent up a bland risotto, and was schooled by Ramsay, as this was a Hell’s Kitchen staple. Faye kicked herself in her confessional, saying these little mistakes added up in Ramsay’s mind, and she couldn’t let them affect her. Faye and Ramona were able to recover though, and it wasn’t long before food once again began to leave the kitchen to very satisfied diners, including season 12 winner Scott. With both kitchens still neck and neck, the red team was now ready to get started on entrees,
Back in the blue kitchen, the focus shifted the Carole on meat to keep the blue team’s momentum going, Carole was nervous in her confessional as these were new menu items, but knew she needed to deliver a strong performance to keep herself from falling behind. Unfortunately, the issues would begin as early as the first table, as Grace called out inconsistent times from garnish which threw off both Melody and Carole, and Ramsay demanded to know when exactly the food was going to start coming out. Once they finally brought their dishes to the pass, Carole’s beef was rejected for being chewy and inedible, and Grace said in her confessional that Carole seriously needed to either get a grip or get the hell out of here. While Carole was able to recover and the first table eventually went out, progress continued to be sluggish as Grace was not talking to her team and rushed garnishes to the pass, which led to Melody bringing up undercooked sole, and she expressed frustration in her confessional with Grace not being a team player. With the kitchen still moving slowly, Ramsay called out for the venison and got no response from Carole, much to his frustration. Melody was able to calm Carole down temporarily and the two of them managed to finally get their sole and venison to the pass. Ramsay now called out for the garnish, saying the ticket was dying, only to receive soggy, burnt vegetables from Grace, and he demanded to know if that was really her best. Lauren said in her confessional that Grace was absolutely sinking the service right now, and decided to try to help her out on garnish, but Grace said she had things under control, saying in her confessional that Lauren just needed to leave her alone, but Lauren said Grace clearly needed the help, and with the kitchen still stalled, Ramsay had enough and took everyone into the pantry, asking them what the fuck they were doing. Carole explained that Grace wasn’t talking to anyone, while Grace said that Carole was supposed to be driving the tickets from meat, and she went silent on them. Ramsay was pissed and told them to get it figured out, and quickly, because this was absolutely unacceptable.
While the blue team struggled through entrees, the red team hoped that Everett and Michael would propel them to victory from the meat station. Everett said in his confessional that this was redemption night, and he needed to have his best service yet to earn back Ramsay’s respect. On the first table, though, both Everett and Michael had issues as Michael served rare ribeye, while Everett’s lamb was undercooked and poorly sliced. Thomas said in his confessional that the red team could not afford to be having these struggles at this point, and the meat stations needed to get their shit together immediately. Fortunately, both Michael and Everett were able to recover and, along with Ramona, get their first table out. Ramona did serve raw snapper, which got her schooled by Ramsay, but she was able to bounce back quickly. From then on, entrees began to flow out into the dining room, with Ramona continuing to be more vocal from fish, while Thomas kept everyone on schedule from garnish. With the orders for the red team still lagging behind those from the blue team, Ramsay became annoyed with Everett dragging on his lamb, but with Michael’s help, they were able to avoid it becoming a larger issue, and Everett was able to serve beautifully cooked lamb, with Ramsay saying he wanted it to be like that every single time. Everett said in his confessional that he had no intentions of stopping, and a fire had definitely been lit under him tonight. With Michael, Everett, Thomas and Ramona all working in sync with each other, the red team was able to push out entrees and complete a very solid service, with several guests seen enjoying their meal, including Scott
While the red team started to pull ahead on entrees, the blue team were in the pantry trying to sort out their issues. Melody told Grace and Carole that they needed to be more vocal, and that Grace needed to accept Lauren’s help. Lauren agreed and said they weren’t cooking like a team right now. With Carole promising to try to do better, and Grace throwing her hands up and saying she would do whatever would help the team win, the blue team finally emerged from the pantry and resumed working on entrees. With Lauren helping out on garnish, communication finally improved, but Grace still managed to serve bland, watery puree, while Carole had problems getting the temperature right on her venison, as it was overcooked on the first attempt, and “still moving” on the second attempt, as she said in her confessional that this service had been an absolute nightmare for her, and she had a feeling she could be going home tonight. However, they were finally able to serve acceptable dishes along with Melody’s sole, and the blue team eventually managed to serve the rest of their entrees and complete service behind the red team, with Heather and Dave seen enjoying their food in the dining room, but Ramsay said that was more painful that a fucking root canal.
Post-Mortem
Ramsay had the teams line up and said tonight was all about these chefs, the supposed best half of the field, proving that they could build and serve their own menus, and that was why, after the strong start both teams had on appetizers, he was deeply disappointed in the fall from grace, which he pointed out was a very appropriate choice of words, from the blue team, as he still wanted to know where the fuck the communication was on entrees, ans wondered if Travis had really been the one holding them together all this time. With that said, there was one team who did justice to their own menu, and that was the red team, who were declared the winners of Red vs. Blue Menu Night. Ramsay then told the blue team to go back to the dorms and think very hard about the two people they wanted to nominate for elimination after that embarrassing performance. With that, he told them to piss off.
Back in the dorms, the decision seemed simple for the blue team at first, with Lauren saying that Grace was a disaster on garnish, and refused to talk to anyone. Carole agreed and said it was clear she was only looking out for herself at the team’s expense. Grace shot back that she had to look out for herself, as it was obvious that everyone else here wanted her gone. Melody told Grace to stop putting words in their mouths, as she had been nothing but supportive, but Grace said she was voting for Melody due to being fake and overly inconsistent. Lauren asked if everyone else agreed to nominating Grace, to which they did, and Grace angrily said in her confessional that they could each go fuck themselves for all she cared. For the second nominee, Lauren and Melody agreed that Carole’s performance in service was the weakest, as she had struggled to get meat temperatures right. Carole tried to defend herself by saying she had been more consistent throughout the season than Melody, and simply based on the process of elimination, would have to nominate Melody due to her up and down performances. Melody was annoyed with this, as she said she had been doing her best, and despite her terrible last service with the red team, felt herself getting stronger and more confident with each passing day.
On the red team’s side of the dorm, Michael was pumped up to finally be back on the winning team in service, which he celebrated with Faye, while Everett was relieved that even though he didn’t have a perfect service, he delivered when it counted and helped his team win. Thomas said in his confessional that he did nothing but win, and after turning around both the blue team and red team, he was sure Ramsay was taking notice of his leadership abilities. Ramona went over to chat with Everett, with the two of them being excited to still be here, with Ramona saying she and Everett were definitely the most vulnerable ones here, and they needed to stick together, especially since Thomas would push for them to go out as soon as they lost. Everett said in his confessional that Ramona was a feisty chef, which he admired, though he was worried about the fact that she still had her immunity pass, and if it came down to the two of them, she had a get out of jail free card, while he would be screwed. Even so, he agreed that they should watch each other’s backs.
Elimination Ceremony
The four person blue team entered the dining room, and as they stood before Ramsay, it was clear that the nerves of the competition were starting to get to them. Ramsay said they were down to the best 10, and this had been their own menu, and the more popular one, no less. There should have been no excuses for such a disastrous service. He did concede, though, the fact that the stress of losing their teammate before service may have played a role in throwing them off their game, and that was why he wanted to let Travis tell them how he was doing. With that, the door opened, and Travis entered the dining room, supporting himself with crutches, which drew some shocked silent reactions from his teammates. Ramsay asked Travis what he had been told at the hospital, to which Travis replied that his ankle was in much worse shape now, and it would take an extended period of time to heal. Ramsay sighed, as he told Travis that they both knew what this meant, and Travis nodded, as he appeared to be fighting back tears, and said he would not be staying in Hell’s Kitchen.
Melancholy music
Ramsay: “I don’t say this lightly, young man, and I sincerely mean it: you could have won this competition. I’m very sorry you won’t be able to go on. And I wish you all the best with your recovery and future in the industry.”
Travis: “Thank you for everything, chef, I really can’t thank you enough for this. It’s been the experience of a lifetime.”
Ramsay: “Thank you, Travis. Keep the jacket, you earned it, and keep your eyes and ears open, because the next voice on the phone could be mine. Please, take care, and get well soon.”
With that, Ramsay and Travis shook hands, and Travis exchanged a goodbye with his team as Ramsay opened the door for him.
Travis’ comment
“It’s so fucking hard to walk away from a competition that you know you could have won, for reasons completely out of your control. I pushed my body and mind to the limit in Hell’s Kitchen, and for whatever reason, my body just couldn’t handle it. I’d give anything to go back and change that one step, but it’s over now. I guess all I can do is try to ignore the what if’s and remember all the good that came from this…but dammit man, it’s a big “what if?” and it hurts. I can’t pretend that it doesn’t.”

With Travis’ tragic withdrawal, Ramsay announced that the man who just walked out of those doors was far from the weakest chef here, and that was why Ramsay announced that he was not done, and still needed to hear from the blue team.
Dramatic music
Ramsay asked Lauren for the blue team’s first nominee and why. Lauren announced that the team had unanimously voted for Grace, due to her attitude constantly bringing the team down and poor performance on garnish. Ramsay asked for the second nominee and why. Lauren hesitated, and announced that…the blue team had not been able to reach a consensus on the second nominee, as they were split between Carole and Melody. Ramsay was pissed, as he said even in the dorms, the blue team still couldn’t fucking communicate as a team. Finally though, he told Grace, Carole and Melody to all step forward, and started by asking Melody why she should stay in Hell’s Kitchen.
Melody: I’ve had some low points, chef, I fully admit that, but ever since I joined the blue team, I feel like I’ve just been getting stronger. I have confidence now that I didn’t have when I first got here. I know I’m a good chef, and I try my best to help the team whenever and however I can.”
Ramsay paused for a moment to consider her words, then said that he agreed completely, and sent her back in line, much to her relief as she shared a quick hug with Lauren. Ramsay then moved to Carole, asking her to explain why she was getting worse and less visible the longer the competition went on.
Carole: “Chef, I do feel like I get pushed around sometimes by my team-”
Ramsay: “Well push back then! For god’s sake, young lady. You have to act like you want this!”
Carole: “I do want this, chef! I want to be the head chef of Gordon Ramsay Steak, I know I have the experience and the talent to run it, I just need to start showing you.”
Ramsay said she needed to start showing him weeks ago, and he was running out of patience. Finally, he moved on to Grace, asking her really, truly, why she should stay in Hell’s Kitchen when her team was desperate to get rid of her?
Grace: “Well chef, I think the reason they’re so desperate is because they know I’m strong, I have leadership qualities, and they want to get rid of the competition. I think it’s as simple as that.”
Ramsay said he was getting tired of all the bullshit in the blue team, and demanded to know when she was going to start talking to her teammates. Grace responded that if they gave her a chance to lead, he would see just how talented she was.
Ramsay sighed in frustration, as he said that both of them deserved to go home on the back of tonight’s performance, but with that said…
Ramsay: “My decision is…”

Ramsay: “Carole.”
Elimination music
Ramsay: “You’ve gone invisible, it’s like the competition is too big for you. But…I know you can cook, that’s why I’m giving you another chance. I need to start seeing some leadership, I need to hear your voice. Get back in line.”
Dramatic music
As Carole gratefully returned to the blue team, Ramsay turned to Grace.
Ramsay: “Step forward, young lady, and listen very carefully to me…This. Is. It. No more bullshit, show me that you can work with your team, or get out of here. Back in line.”
Ramsay confirmed that no one else was going home tonight, as he said both Carole and Grace were very lucky that Travis had been unable to continue, and told them to take advantage of this second chance and show him something in the next service. With that, he told everyone to get back to the dorms and get some sleep.
As the chefs exited, several of them had confessionals. Lauren said it sucked that they had lost Travis instead of Grace, as their team was now much worse off. Grace said that she was still here and all these bitches better watch out, because she was going to outlast them one by one. Thomas said that the blue team was a clusterfuck as long as Grace was there, and while he felt sorry for Lauren, it shouldn’t be too difficult for the red team to rack up some wins. Faye said it was devastating to see Travis go out the way he did, and it just went to show how quickly it could all end.
Placement
https://preview.redd.it/vavpr72whuzc1.png?width=2511&format=png&auto=webp&s=4df58b9489a9874a7275e748d1589aae9e688cd3

Hi all,
My preface is: I see evolution as a scientific fact. That being said, I have questions, and I need your help to resolve them.
I read an observation that Sporormiella, a coprophilous fungi, appear to disperse their spores primarily via the mushroom being eaten by herbivores and the spores passing through undigested so that they can later grow new mushrooms in the manure. The assumption is that it can reproduce in other ways, but this method appears to be its primary method of reproduction.
How can that be? Is that really an evolutionary adaptation, or simply an enormous cosmic coincidence? How can this fungus adapt to such a convoluted process? Doesn't this mean Sporormiella had to adapt to 1) being edible to herbivores, 2) the spores passing through an herbivore's digestive tract unharmed, 3) the spores growing in the manure's nutrients, 4) another herbivore being hungry enough to eat the new mushrooms growing in manure (because doesn't manure ward off most other animals?), AND 5) relying chiefly on this process to reproduce instead of how most other fungi do it? That should mean there are many extinct or dying species in the record that tried the same path but failed at any one of the five steps, right? How can any organism successfully evolve to where its survival as a species heavily relies on the individual organisms being killed?
Thank you in advance.

Hi everyone. I need some advice on what I should do for Mother’s Day this year. I guess I should start at the beginning, but I’ll try to keep things as short and simple as possible. I’ll also add a TL;DR at the bottom.
So my mom (42F) got remarried when I (22F) was 11, after dating the guy for less than 6 months. The guy, simply-put, emotionally abused me for 7 years. My mom did nothing about this, and honestly kind of condoned it. My mental health started to decline, and I started SH in middle school. My mom noticed this, and I know she did because she would regularly ask me about scars or wounds. I had to beg for months to see a therapist, and for the longest time she said I should just “talk to her about it”. Anytime I came to her with an issue, she would go to my stepdad, he’d get angry, and I’d get punished. So this created a negative cycle, and I started to refuse to go to my mom with anything. My mom in general is pretty close-minded about things, such as therapy. Even after they got divorced, I wouldn’t talk to her about anything because it’d usually end with her saying I should just “get over it”.
My mom has also always been very controlling and like a helicopter parent. I didn’t do much of anything while in high school, but she would always need to know where I am, who I’m with, and what I’m doing. Which is understandable for a teen. We also have Life360 and I have usually always kept my location on for her. This was all fine in high school, but now that I’m an adult it’s became quite the hassle as I’ve tried to spread my wings a bit. She’s set me curfews, has something to say about anyone I’m with, and grounds me sometimes. Let me mention too that I still rarely go anywhere, and when I do it’s usually just to eat out. I don’t party, I don’t drink with friends, I don’t go to bars, I don’t do anything like that.
This is an example. Most recently, I met my current boyfriend (21M) and wanted to go on a date with him. She asked that I give her his name so she’d feel a bit more comfortable about it. She looked him up on Facebook, and told me that I can’t see him anymore because he’s obviously transgender. He’s not. I told her that he’s not, and said that he has a deep voice, broad shoulders, facial hair, etc etc as proof that he’s not. She said that it doesn’t matter and that I needed to “see his penis” for proof. I told her that was ridiculous. I told her that I wasn’t planning on asking him about what’s in his pants, that I would want someone to come to me with that kind of information when they’re comfortable, and that even if he was trans, that I didn’t care. She went on a rant about the Bible and how she’d be disappointed if I was gay and blah blah. She pressured me into asking him with threats that I’d be grounded. This isn’t super relevant, but it’s a good example of how ridiculous she can be sometimes.
Now for the most recent argument. While I was at work, my mom went through my drawers in my room and found my edibles. When I say “edibles”, I mean legally obtained, pre-packaged THC gummies that I get from a vape shop. Nothing sketchy or illegal. It might also be good to mention that my mom doesn’t mind alcohol, and I’ve picked her up off the floor and walked her to her bed while she was drunk before. I expressed my concerns, but I’ve never once distrusted that she was an adult and capable of being responsible with her substance use. But that’s beside the point. She sent me a photo of my gummies and told me I was grounded and that she’s throwing them away and that we would be “having a talk”.
I asked her if my boyfriend could be there for moral support, because I tend to get emotional pretty easily. She agreed, and we planned for a day after work where all 3 of us were available. The day came, my boyfriend and I got there, and my mom was no where to be found. She was out shopping, and ended up being 3 hours late. And it wasn’t until she got home that she said she was “too tired” to talk and that we’ll do it another day. My boyfriend was a bit irritated that she didn’t seem to prioritize the situation as much as we did, and I was upset too. I told her that I was upset, and that if she didn’t want to talk about it that night like we planned, then I’d go and spend the night with my boyfriend to cool off. She said I was grounded, but I was upset so I didn’t care. On my way out the driveway, she opened the door to my car and sat down so I couldn’t leave.
She started to absolutely berate me. She attacked my character, said I was grounded until she said so, and told me that she’d take me off her car insurance policy so I’d have to pay more each month (which idk how that’s even relevant). I was crying at this point, and she said that if I wanted to come and go as I please like an adult, then I would need to quit crying and act like one. At this point my boyfriend came over (he drove to my house separate) and my mom started attacking him too. She said that if he’s approving of this behavior, then he clearly doesn’t love me. He said that I hadn’t even done anything or even said a word. I ended up telling her “if you want the car so bad, then you can have it” and I got in my boyfriend’s car and left.
I turned off my location for Life360, and didn’t really respond to many of her texts. I told her that I was safe, but I also told her that I wasn’t going to argue anymore that night. I planned another meeting with her for a different day. At this meeting, I told her my expectations and I asked for her to take accountability for things that happened in the past. I told her that I wished she would’ve done things differently, gotten me out of that situation that caused me so much trauma, or gotten me some help. I gave her a list of expectations for the future. I said to 1) trust me more with adult decisions, like where I go or what I buy. 2) Respect my privacy, both physical and emotional. As in, don’t go through my room and don’t pry me when I’m upset. 3) To recognize what I do and to not hold things over my head. I work part-time, work hard in school, and pay all of my bills on time. So I want her to realize that and not hold my car insurance over my head, because I pay my bills on time every month. 4) Respect my emotions. Don’t criticize me for crying, because needing to cry sometimes doesn’t make me irresponsible or less of an adult. And 5) I wanted her to realize that I’m responsible and try to work with her. I keep my location on at all times, and I communicate my every move with her as well as who I’m with. I also asked that she take accountability for not doing more when I was being abused, and told her that I was suicidal and SH’ed since I was like 12. Not anymore, but I wanted her to take responsibility for ignoring that and failing to do anything to make sure her child was happy and safe.
In response, she pretty much told me that she had it worse. She said she was abused by him too (and I believe her). She said it’s a woman’s duty to follow the lead of her husband, and that she didn’t believe in divorce. She failed to see the issue of letting her kids stay in an abusive household. She was also hyper focused on the fact that I “do drugs” and told me she was concerned for me. I simply said that it’s my responsibility as an adult to appropriately choose what substances I take, and that unless I’m breaking the law or damaging her property, I have the right to do so. I told her that I trusted her to do the same, even though I’ve had to help her to bed while she was drunk before. I also told her that I’ve been doing them for a while, and that it hasn’t affected my work or studies at all. She didn’t care obviously, but she kinda didn’t see the bigger picture. When we have discussions, she normally does the thing of making her situation seem worse. Like she always needs to one-up me.
As of now, I’m still staying with my boyfriend. His family is fine with this, and they’ve taken my side on the issue. I haven’t talked to my mom very much since our last conversation. I haven’t said much to her or plan to move back in, because I feel like she doesn’t see the bigger picture. I understand she’s concerned for me, but I feel like I’ve done all I could to reassure her that I’m safe. She doesn’t understand that doing things like going through my stuff, threatening to take my car when I’ve paid for it on time, or trying to control what I do when I’m an adult that communicates everything with her, is problematic.
Do you think my mom is just trying to control me? Is she narcissistic, and should I do anything for her for Mother’s Day? I bought her a bottle of wine a while ago (before our argument) for the occasion, but I’m not sure if I should do more given the recent events. Just overall I don’t know what I should do, I feel like we’re at a standstill. I don’t plan on doing anything until she’s ready to meet me in the middle, but is there anything I should do in the meantime? I love my mom and I understand if she’s scared and anxious, but she needs to understand that I’m an adult and that I need those adult freedoms. My boyfriend and his family have taken me in and are on my side, but I would still too like to have an unbiased opinion on what I should do. Or if I should sit in this stalemate.
TL;DR - My mom and I had an argument and she refuses to see the bigger picture. Should I cave since it’s Mother’s Day, or should I stay strong in my convictions?

Did you know that honey never spoils? Archaeologists have found pots of honey in ancient Egyptian tombs that are over 3000 years old and still perfectly edible. https://www.qpidi.com/post/what-is-love-language-theory-simply-explained-qpidi

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I’m back, still alive!
So, I saw another animal, but first, let me talk about my discussions with Andrew. He seemed relieved that I wanted to stay on after meeting Miss Giant Spider. There were several occasions that she was the reason a new night security person had quit, mostly because she was often the first to come say hello once we were able to see her. She was social, or at least the version of social that things like her could be.
At that, Andrew told me he’d decide to resume tours. Apparently I’ve been doing so well, and I’d handled meeting Yui with such grace (I didn’t tell him I almost pissed my pants) that he figured I’d be sticking around. He was right, of course. And it was encouraging enough to hear it from him that I got a little boost of self-confidence. I know y’all are probably older than me, but this is my first real full-time job, so that was really cool to hear from him.
I know continuing to work here does make me the world’s biggest hypocrite considering my pet peeve of people who lack common sense, but it seems the universe found my weakness. I can’t help it. I’m a wildlife biologist at heart and these animals are devastatingly fascinating, and if I quit I wouldn’t be able to learn all about them. I’m hoping Andrew will eventually let me ask Suzanne for books about them, from wherever they’re from. Plus, the scariest thing I’d ever seen in my life didn’t kill me, so maybe I can put this in the ‘common sense win’ column, hm? The spider wanted to eat me, she didn’t eat me, therefore the wards are solid and she can’t eat me. Right? I’m going with that.
Apparently Roger, the last guy who ran the night shift, ran a tight ship. He interacted with the animals on a purely basic level, never falling for their tricks, never getting killed or even hurt. Some of his job, and therefore what was becoming my job, was ensuring that the animals were doing well. This meant he needed to be able to see all of them, and so once they realized he’d reached his limit at eight, Suzanne did some wand-waving (no, I don’t know if she has a wand, I’m being facetious), and he could see the rest. According to Andrew, that had something to do with letting our minds stretch and reach its natural limits before stretching it further.
Most nights I arrive early, just before Andrew leaves, and I ask him questions I have. After seeing Yui’s human form, I did ask Andrew about her intelligence, but he just smiled and shook his head. He explained that there were dogs smarter than any the animals at the zoo, at least when you were comparing them to levels of human intelligence. Her appearance was just a disguise and her polite words to me were intelligence of an impressive border collie the filtered through the skill of a parrot. I wouldn’t be able to converse with her on any real level.
However, saying all of that lacks accuracy, because comparing animals to humans always leaves out quite a bit. For example, humans realized ants can figure out where they are and where to go from the position of the sun, while humans would need trigonometry for that. It doesn’t mean ants are capable of learning trig.
Something notable that I brought up with Andrew was enrichment. The layout of the zoo isn’t exactly typical, because for most of the animals, it backs up quite a ways into the forest that surrounds the zoo before ending at a tall fence. That means there’s more of a natural existence for them, and with a lot more space than even the most generous zoo, it likely feels to them like they’re still out in the wild, and they don’t get bored too easily.
That was the reason Andrew gave for having so few enrichment ideas, that they already had space to roam and engaged with plenty of animals including some that burrowed, various birds (and snatching eggs from nests), and climbers like racoons, opossums, and squirrels. The big thing my boss considered enrichment was putting specific live prey like goats or turkeys into the enclosures for some variety, which made sense. But I couldn’t help thinking that it was still important to make like any other zoo and give them some bonus fun occasionally.
When it came to Yui, I asked Andrew if he knew whether she’d prefer something to play with in her human form or her tarantula form. That’s when I learned the human form was a disguise, to get prey to come closer, which was exactly the honey trap of death that my subconscious had imagined it to be. (Yay.) So, she remains a tarantula most of the time.
On that note, did you know many pet tarantulas like ping-pong balls? Check it out on YouTube if you’ve got some time to kill. On that note, I thought it’d be worth a shot to see if Yui liked it.
My first image was of that meme of George R.R. Martin in a giant hamster ball, the person who’d shared it giving the photo a caption that scolded him from goofing off when they wanted him to be writing the next Game of Thrones book. The thing is, that was approximately the right size, but most of those are inflatable. Yui has little claws at the end of her feet, so I needed something plastic. That meant making some calls around to manufacturers (by email, since I was doing this in the middle of the night) for something custom made.
I do have to say, looking to have a giant plastic ball for a huge tarantula to play with had not been on my list of likely things to happen at my new job, but it was highly entertaining. I wish I could have told the people I was emailing, but at least I can tell all of you.
I wrote a list of other enrichment possibilities in my phone, and one morning when I arrived early, I spoke with Andrew about them. It wasn’t much of a list yet, but I’d gotten started from what I knew about Yui and figured I’d throw some other things at the wall to see what stuck.
Andrew did seem iffy about introducing new things, saying, “If it ain’t broke, I don’t like trying to fix it.” But part of my job was allegedly enrichment, according to the job posting. It just seemed like over the decades of the zoo’s existence so far, they counted on prey to be that enrichment. Not that I’m saying they were neglecting the animals, of course; honestly I still have a lot (or rather, everything) to learn about them. But I figured doing the kind of enrichment I’d been taught in my college classes could be great.
“By the way, this might sound stupid, but does Leila need any enrichment?” I asked with a grimace. “I don’t know a lot about ghosts, but I would assume it’s a boring existence. I can only go on stories, and a bored ghost gets into trouble, according to the popular culture.”
Andrew smirked and nodded. “Yeah, they do in films, but this isn’t that kind of situation. With Leila…her soul isn’t actually here. The ghost is more of an echo of her, left behind, imprinted when she was attacked,” he explained.
“Her soul isn’t here,” I repeated. “That’s…interesting.”
“I’m not in charge of the afterlife,” he said with a shrug. “Gratefully, Ripley, I only have to manage this one business. Whatever goes on with that side of things must be more stress than I can imagine and I’d turn down the job if offered, no matter the pay.”
Once I received an email confirming a company’s ability to create a lightweight but solid plastic ball, much like a super-sized ping-pong ball, Andrew approved the purchase of the toy. I was eager to get started on stuff for the other animals, but until I got a good look at them, I felt I didn’t have enough info to go on. And Andrew still didn’t want to educate me on things I hadn’t seen yet, calling it learning on a ‘need-to-know basis,’ since I’m human, so he’ll be waiting before spilling all the weird, freaky beans. I’ll have to be patient.
What he had done was given me a summaries that Roger had written down, but actually they weren’t much help. This was because Roger had a background as a security guard rather than being educated in wildlife, as I did. Andrew said the man had been extremely capable at his job, but looking for someone with a degree this time was a choice he was happy with.
Roger was concise, I’ll give him that. On this list of his, taking Yui as an example, it said ‘spider woman - enclosure 7 - Yui’, along with the animals she liked to hunt. It hadn’t taken him that long to figure out what our animals most enjoyed hunting, mostly from wildlife cameras that were installed in the forestry. They were all omnivores (or rather, you could say they had degrees in being omnivores with a specialization in being a carnivore, because Andrew said they could eat almost anything someone might toss into their enclosure), but some of them had special preferences on top of that.
Another description for animal I hadn’t seen yet was, ‘centaur - enclosure 10 - Arnold’. For any animal that didn’t have a given name (Yui was able to introduce herself, since she’d been named before, I was told), Roger made one up, and Andrew told me that Arnold was named after Arnold Schwarzenegger because he had incredible muscles. Also notable was that he was not a centaur, that was just the closest approximation that Roger’s mind was able to label him, because his most notable feature was that he had no skin. The part of my brain that was a biology major crawled all over that fact, but couldn’t make sense of how it could be beneficial to survival. Then again, since they came from another world, I had no environment on which to base my evolutionary ideas.
Yui has looked out at me from the forest on two more occasions so far, both times in her spider form, though she didn’t attempt communication again. I was extremely grateful, because even as I reminded myself that she hadn’t so much as attempted to hurt me, and that there really was an invisible wall there, I still wanted some more time to get used to her appearance. There was a near certain chance she would love to have me as a meal, just as any predator might, so my hindbrain trembled whenever I saw her. But each time, I reminded myself that this was why I’d been hired, because I showed a healthy amount of fear for the animals. Then I took a deep breath and moved on.
However, I did see another animal on the cameras, and then on a walk, a few days ago. This one wasn’t as terrifying as Yui (though that’s a high bar), but it was freaky. I saw it when I passed the area that led to the small lake, where I’d been told several animals had access from their enclosures bordering it. I zoomed in to get a better look, the cameras doing the impressive job of making the animal many times bigger and perfectly crisp on the screen.
At first glance it seemed like some sort of dog-possum hybrid, the size of a Doberman. Most notable was the hand at the end of its tail, like that of a racoon but larger and with claws. I recall thinking that the animals in our world with prehensile tails have nothing on that. It had small ears and black and grey fur covered its body, but the animal had shaken itself after coming out of the water, and when it had done so, its hair stood up on end like it was infused with static electricity. The thing was, having done that, it looked like the hair down its back had become a mohawk of spines. Wondering if it had the skills of a porcupine, I mentally took in as much information as I could about its appearance.
Later that shift, on another walk through the zoo, I thought I heard an animal crying. I say animal, but if I hadn’t been a major in wildlife biology, I would’ve said I heard a human baby crying. There are a surprising amount of animals that sound like humans shrieking or crying, which can make for a disturbing experience if you live in rural areas with lots of forestry. If someone grew up there, they got used to it. If they were unfamiliar with that weirdness, however, they might get worried some psycho had left a baby in the woods and went looking for the source, but those folks were probably candidates for a Darwin award.
This was definitely an imitation of a human baby crying, and it was spot on. It was coming from Spike’s enclosure, but I just stopped a couple yards from the fence for a long, thoughtful moment before moving on to walk the rest of the zoo, ignoring the sound. Two hours (and therefore two laps) later, it gave up trying to draw me in.
Anyway, the first time I’d seen the animal, I’d returned to the security room, double-checked, and confirmed that this animal was named ‘Spike’ (no points for originality, Roger). Apparently its food of choice was fish, but musing on that didn’t give me many hints as to what it might enjoy as enrichment. Clearly the sound imitation was a form of drawing in prey, so that didn’t help much either. What did give me hints was the fact that, according to Roger’s notes, it was known to not just kill the fish and eat the meat, but also the scales.
In addition, it didn’t just eat fish, but also turtles, lizards, and snakes, and if it killed a human, it had been known to specifically go for our nails and hair before making like a carnivore on the rest of us. That meant keratin was an important element of his diet. So, any fish or reptile made nutritious prey, which was convenient since the lake was stocked regularly and the reptiles were plentiful throughout the forest.
Determined to find something for it to enjoy, though, I considered what its instincts might prompt it to appreciate. That’s the way to go with all enrichment, even for humans. Just think of all the games we play as kids. Hide and seek. Tag. Red light, green light. All things that tested our ability to avoid predators and catch prey. We play these games since we enjoy them, and we enjoy them for a very good reason: our brain gives us happy-hormone feedback because it’s good training for our ongoing survival.
With that in mind, I considered possibly giving it foods that were difficult to eat, to mimic the difficulty of pulling nails and hair out of corpses. I know, it’s a gruesome train of thought, considering I was one of those animals that he’d probably be delighted to snack on, but that’s what happens when you’re in charge of animals like these. I considered things like pomegranates, artichokes, avocados, or pineapple, but definitely nuts like pistachios, pecans, peanuts, and hazelnuts. Its claws were made for attacking prey, but they could also be useful when opening nuts. And I didn’t get a good look at its teeth, but I figured it was similar to a squirrel in that way.
Those items were easy to fetch from a big grocery store, and there was a Walmart on my commute home, so I stopped in to buy some. The cashier was probably confused as to why I was sampling a bunch of things, but I was using the zoo’s business card for this, and didn’t want to overdo it.
I’d asked Andrew if he wanted to get them himself or reimburse me, actually, and he’d just handed me the card. “I doubt you’re the type to head to Vegas,” he’d said with a smile. “Keep it in your wallet for the future and I’ll get another. Just bring me the receipts from your purchases and I’ll file them in the system.”
The diet of the zoo’s animals didn’t wholly consist of animals they hunted. Some was delivered, and near the dumpster was a pile of boxes that had been broken down, so I grabbed one of those and taped it back together to bring the food out to Spike. I put the fruits in, and then a handful of each of the nuts. Then I folded the flaps closed, walked through the zoo over to enclosure four and, from two yards away, lifted the box to my shoulder and chucked it as hard as I could.
The box landed with a thud, and I waited around for a minute but Spike didn’t show, so I headed back to the security room. He’d emerged from the trees shortly after I’d left, wandering over to the box. I pulled up the view of the camera and enlarged it on the screen, zooming in, watching hopefully as he prodded at it. It didn’t take him long to open it, though he used his claws rather than following the strategy of simply unfolding the flaps like a human would have done.
Spike was definitely curious of the variety of new, potentially edible things splayed across the ground. He took a minute to look through them before settling on the pineapple. The spikes seemed to intrigue him, and he used his claws to open up the fruit, carving out a slice. Eating it, I couldn’t really decipher his reaction through facial expressions, but he dropped it and backed up at step before swiping at it with a hand, flinging it yards away, as if it had insulted his mother. So, it seemed he was not fond of it.
The same thing went for the pomegranate and avocado, unfortunately, and I slumped in disappointment, but I was happy to see that the artichoke was one in the win column. He looked like he was enjoying peeling of each leaf individually, and then ate the heart last. By that point I felt like I’d gotten a small sense of reading his body language, and I think he enjoyed the heart.
The smaller foods came next, and I leaned in closer, folding my arms on the desk. The pistachios are what Spike went for first, presumably because the gap between the shells let him get into it pretty quickly. Those were a no-go too, unfortunately, which wasn’t that surprising to me considering their distinctive taste. But when he tried the pecans next? Holy crap, he bounced from foot to foot in an undeniable happy dance, finding the others and gathering them all in a pile.
Cracking each shell open with his claws, he went through every single pecan, one by one, often opening several and eating them together. I leaned back in my chair with a satisfied smile as I watched him go through all of them. After he’d finished them, he moved onto the peanuts, which weren’t appealing, but the hazelnuts were.
My eyes widened when put the nut in between his teeth and chomped down enough to crack the shell. I swore under my breath. Those shells are tough, so that was terrifyingly impressive. And again, the hazelnut was more appealing to him, whatever quality of taste it had prompting him to go through each of them just as he had the pecans.
“So, that was a job well done,” I spoke to myself out loud.
Taking my notepad from my pocket, I added in Enrichment: artichokes, pecans, hazelnuts, on the page that I’d titled Spike and mentally patted myself on the back.
I know it’s unlikely that I can find enrichment items for every animal at the zoo, and Andrew was right that they don’t have typical enclosures, since they have their own little forests. But it was fulfilling to finally use my degree for something, to add something to the life of an animal that didn’t get to hang out with others in its species, as was typical for animals. Or at least was typical for animals on Earth. I figured these things at least had a drive to mate. These things might be terrifying, dangerous cryptids, but they are starting to feel like my terrifying, dangerous cryptids.
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This recipe is what I use to make biltong in batches of 3kg, churning out an edible batch roughly every 3 days based on my box size.
It is effective and adjusted for humid climates to battle potential mould growth.
The optional *paprika** and Gochujang will just add a nice heat, which you can adjust based on your own taste.*
Meat options: * Top rump with fat cap * Silverside / topside if your prefer leaner biltong * This recipe is for roughly 3kg of meat wet weight * Scale the spice and marinade up according to your meat weight
Meat prep: * Cut 3cm wide steaks with grain of meat * Remove connective tissue where applicable but keep the fat * Salt with coarse sea salt * 2kg rump = 120g salt * Leave in salt for 3 hours flipping at 1.5 hrs
Wet mix: * 120g red wine vinegar / apple cider vinegar if you want it more on the sweet side * 120g Worcestershire sauce * 60g honey * 5-15ml of your favourite spirit, Brandy or Whiskey * Optional: 5-10g Gochujang chili * Mix all wet ingredients in a bowl
Marinade: * After 3 hour salting of meat, hand brush salt off meat, get the worst off, but don't fuss for perfection and don't wash it off with water either * Place meat in sealable container * Add wet marinade and massage into meat * Chill out for 1 hour in marinade * Turn and leave for 1 more hour * Add small amount of baking soda (6g / 1 tsp), this specifically helps in humid climates to ensure your meat doesn't go bad * Mix well and let sit for 30 minutes, turning at 15 minutes
Dry mix: * 40g coriander seeds * 4g chilli flakes * 20g fennel seeds * 10g black pepper corns * Dry roast in medium heat pan without pepper * Remove once the spice smokes a bit, don't over heat the spices * Cool down slightly and coarse grind, only add black pepper at this point * Add 1tbsp or 15-20g brown salt to mix if you want it sweeter * Optional: Add 5g garlic powder to dry spice mix at this point, and 5g smoked paprika is also a good option for extra flavour
Curing: * Remove the meat from your marinade and pat dry with paper towels * Cover meat with spice mix, using a tray to roll meat in the spices, a lot of your spices will drop off during the curing process * Add stainless steel hooks to the meat,and labels for weight, weighing before hanging, or eyeball it once you start feeling confident in your process * After roughly 2-3 days, if you use a biltong box with a fan and bulb, 3-5 days if you use only a bulb or fan, 4-6 days if you use only air drying, weigh the meat, should be 30 (wet)-50 (dry)% less weight to indicate it is cured. Or simply do a taste test and continue to dry if necessary * Store in vacuum sealed bags with date labels, pop these bags in the fridge or freezer for longer storage

This recipe is what I use to make biltong in batches of 3kg, churning out an edible batch roughly every 3 days based on my box size.
It is effective and adjusted for humid climates to battle potential mould growth.
The optional *paprika** and Gochujang will just add a nice heat, which you can adjust based on your own taste.*
Meat options: * Top rump with fat cap * Silverside / topside if your prefer leaner biltong * This recipe is for roughly 3kg of meat wet weight * Scale the spice and marinade up according to your meat weight
Meat prep: * Cut 3cm wide steaks with grain of meat * Remove connective tissue where applicable but keep the fat * Salt with coarse sea salt * 2kg rump = 120g salt * Leave in salt for 3 hours flipping at 1.5 hrs
Wet mix: * 120g red wine vinegar / apple cider vinegar if you want it more on the sweet side * 120g Worcestershire sauce * 60g honey * 5-15ml of your favourite spirit, Brandy or Whiskey * Optional: 5-10g Gochujang chili * Mix all wet ingredients in a bowl
Marinade: * After 3 hour salting of meat, hand brush salt off meat, get the worst off, but don't fuss for perfection and don't wash it off with water either * Place meat in sealable container * Add wet marinade and massage into meat * Chill out for 1 hour in marinade * Turn and leave for 1 more hour * Add small amount of baking soda (6g / 1 tsp), this specifically helps in humid climates to ensure your meat doesn't go bad * Mix well and let sit for 30 minutes, turning at 15 minutes
Dry mix: * 40g coriander seeds * 4g chilli flakes * 20g fennel seeds * 10g black pepper corns * Dry roast in medium heat pan without pepper * Remove once the spice smokes a bit, don't over heat the spices * Cool down slightly and coarse grind, only add black pepper at this point * Add 1tbsp or 15-20g brown salt to mix if you want it sweeter * Optional: Add 5g garlic powder to dry spice mix at this point, and 5g smoked paprika is also a good option for extra flavour
Curing: * Remove the meat from your marinade and pat dry with paper towels * Cover meat with spice mix, using a tray to roll meat in the spices, a lot of your spices will drop off during the curing process * Add stainless steel hooks to the meat,and labels for weight, weighing before hanging, or eyeball it once you start feeling confident in your process * After roughly 2-3 days, if you use a biltong box with a fan and bulb, 3-5 days if you use only a bulb or fan, 4-6 days if you use only air drying, weigh the meat, should be 30 (wet)-50 (dry)% less weight to indicate it is cured. Or simply do a taste test and continue to dry if necessary * Store in vacuum sealed bags with date labels, pop these bags in the fridge or freezer for longer storage

Pen and Gareth continue their camping trip! Thanks for reading! :)
There were a few moments of silence as Pen climbed, hand over hand, picking each rough handhold after the other. She spoke.
“By choice or?”
“Hm?” Gareth questioned.
“Your height? Is that something you worked for or is it like… genetics.”
“Ah, utterly out of my control, same as you… if my reading was correct?”
“Same for humans yea, much to many people’s chagrin.”
“Do humans prefer to be shorter as well?”
“Quite the opposite, traditionally taller is preferred. Though I suppose its mostly up to individual preference.”
“Hmm.”
“So, with Weilans a shorter partner is the preference?”
“Well, as you say, there is individual taste but yes for the most part. It’s been my experience.”
“Ooooh, is there a lot of experience there? Am I about to get the download on Gareths romantic pursuits perhaps?”
“Ha ha…” he responded dryly, “Not particularly. A few prospects here and there perhaps but none panned out. The most likely one turned quite sour to be honest.”
“Oh no?”
She tested a foothold as he continued in a mocking tone.
“Oh indeed. What rife plague is a partner turned competitor. Turns out she took exception to my choice of career.”
“Ooooh, juicy…”
Gareth eyed the phrase. Juicy? Really?
“I get it… but that’s a weird one to me. Anyway, yea. I took up Deag’s offer a few weeks into our courting. Thought she’d be happy for me, but she took it more as an insult.”
“An insult?”
“Mmhmm. I told you Weilan society has been travel and trade based for most of our history. For us, one’s social standing is based on having employees or workers. There's a lot of importance put on your position in a hierarchy. The head of a trade company stands higher than a warehouse worker for instance. Being the captain of a ship is respectable, especially a well-known one but to work under another is seen as less than ideal.”
“So? Your first mate. You have a whole ship under you other than Deag.”
“True but ours is an independent operation. Even being captain would be seen more as a worker than an administrator and I’m not even that. When she found that out, I became too far below her station to be seen with.”
“I see. I’m sorry. Who knows, maybe it’s for the best? If she cares that much about something like that you might not have been happy anyway.”
“True… I don’t consider it a loss honestly. I’ll never know for sure but I am happy here… well, happy on the Nebula that is. I’m not very thrilled about clinging to your back as you pull us up and out of a chasm in the middle of fucking nowhere.”
“…Did you just swear?”
“I might not have your… looser vocabulary… but I figured the situation warranted it no?”
“… I suppose… and whaddaya mean by looser vocabulary?! I’ll drop you!”
He noted the sarcasm and simply laughed. The two went quiet again for some time. Pen had to focus on the final stretch of chasm wall which had become a little more treacherous than the rest. Nevertheless, they soon came to the pine needle covered lip. Pen held herself at the edge and pushed her shoulder up as far as she could. Gareth took the que and scrambled off of her and away. Pen followed, hoisting herself up and over. She crawled a few feet on all fours before collapsing. With a heavy exhale she turned over onto her back and wiped the sweat from her forehead.
“Sheesh. Not bad.”
“What?” Gareth asked.
“The climb, not a bad workout. Used some muscles I’ve clearly been neglecting.”
“We can rest if you need.”
“Just for a min’ and then I’ll be good. How are we doing on time?”
He looked up to the sky and then down to the data pad in his suits arm.
“Plenty of light left in the day. You know how far we have left to go?”
“Not too far. I can’t imagine the ship got too much further before touching down.”
“I hope they’re okay.”
“I’m sure.”
“You know one might think you don’t care much. You don’t seem to be that worried.”
“I’m not.”
“That’s quite cold…”
He looked away from her.
“I trust them to be able to handle themselves. Our job is to handle our situation, they theirs. No point in worrying. They aren’t children.”
That pulled his gaze back to her. Her logic struck him. Of course, he trusted Deag. Was it insulting of Gareth to worry? After all Deag had a knack for slipping out of any predicament and to worry almost started to sound like doubt.
“They’re all capable people…”
“Exactly.”
She stretched a fist into the air and then righted herself. A quick brush off for pine needles and she was kneeling to let Gareth back up on her back. He climbed aboard and they were off.
Conversation was sparse for a time but after a half an hour or so something piqued Gareth’s interest.
“How about you?”
“How about me?”
“Any romantic conquests for the ex-soldier?”
“Never really had much interest to be honest. No crushes during my childhood and no real interest after I joined up. there wasn’t anyone interested in me either… well I suppose… nah never mind.”
“No, no. What?”
“I suppose there was a pilot.”
“The people who fly attack craft?”
“Yea. He was an arrogant ass which I suppose is par for the course when it comes to pilots, but he just would not leave me alone. Never disrespectful but… persistent for sure. Would always try and chat me up, get me to go on a date with him. Every time he flew support for us, he’d say I owed him a drink or a coffee.”
“I see.”
Gareth tried to conjure a face for this man. He managed some approximation of the faces he’d seen on the Yosa when they were walking to dinner. The man was grinning and laughing under a flight helmet.
“Nothing came of it?”
“Nah. Like I said, I really didn’t have much interest. He was cute I suppose but I didn’t have time to be messing around. Eventually he got the hint. He didn’t stop but it became more of a friendly banter thing.”
Gareth didn’t say it out loud, she might have taken it the wrong way, but he was surprised she didn’t have more suitors. It seemed to him that by both Human and Weilan standards her height would draw many. The thought did occur to him that perhaps she was simply being modest.
As the day turned to evening Pen altered their course to draw closer to the river. Soon enough they were picking out a well-covered spot to make camp. The previous night had been little more than a denser bit of canopy but this time they managed to find a jutting piece of rock that was spacious enough. Pen followed the same routine as previous. Setting up a small fire and boiling some water before wading into the river to relax.
Gareth noticed more quickly this time the sounds of the forest changing. It was odd to him that, though not silent during the day, droves of creatures became active at night. Most of them unseen but clearly heard. They still unnerved him, but he repeated what Pen had said the previous night. Sound was good. Silence was bad.
After Pen had bed down but before she fell asleep, Gareth asked her about food. Something they’d been neglecting until now.
“Are you going to be, okay?” Was her first question.
“I should be fine, but I was more worried about you. I’ve seen you eat every day on the ship and now it’s been almost two without anything…”
“It’s not ideal but we have water. I’m not sure I have a solution other than to make it to the ship if I’m being honest. I’ll live. We can’t be too far now.”
“This is Terran plant life, right? Theres nothing edible around here?”
“Eh if it becomes a problem, I’ll just eat you.”
“Not. Funny.”
“You have a point though, maybe in the morning I’ll look around for a berry bush or something. A non-poisonous one preferably.” She chuckled as she turned over and made to doze off.
Gareth got up and started to move away from the fire. Pen turned back over.
“I was kidding about-”
“Yea, yea I know. I figured Id go ahead and make myself useful while you sleep. Wake you up with some food.”
“Oh… thank you.” She said.
“Yea, ‘I got you.’” He mimicked her phrase.
She smiled and turned back over.
Gareth looked around. Berries were a concept he was mostly familiar with through reading. Weilan fruits were massive by comparison. It’s not like they were entirely alien but the idea of tiny fruits was odd, almost funny. He woke the data pad on his arm and started looking around for some berry bushes.
It didn’t end up being hard to find a variety of them. Unfortunately, every single one he found in the immediate area read as toxic. They’d be lethal for him to ingest and while they might not kill Pen, they wouldn’t be fun either.
He sighed and turned further out from the camp. He was reticent to move much further from safety, but another bush caught his eye. Plump and curling around a couple of trees, it seemed to have berries on it. Gareth paused a moment but steeled himself and made his way over to it.
It offered a very weird looking fruit. Dark and like a collection of tiny little bubbles. The most similar thing to it to his mind was roe. It was almost like black little dollops of fish roe.
He moved to grab one but froze immediately. He hadn’t noticed the face of the creature peaking out of the very bush his hand was reaching towards until just then. It had stayed perfectly still, its color blending in with the color of the bush.
It was clear once he saw it though. Furry, wide eyed, and keen pointed ears. Its lip curled up in a snarl to reveal sharp rows of teeth clearly evolved for eating meat. It was silent no longer. That face, almost as large as Gareth’s entire body, let loose a reverberating growl. Gareth could feel it as much as he could hear it.
Time seemed frozen to him as he sat there locked in the wolf’s gaze.
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