for context, ako (M, 14 years old) goes to a boarding school na para sa arts.
i have two friends, who are my neighbors. basically parang duo sila, kaya dahil doon palagi nalang ako na fefeeling excluded and sometimes feeling ko wla silang pake saakin. friend A treats me different from their other friends, sometimes acts bitchy mostly with their tone and body language. they're still nice friends who make me laugh, pero nasasaktan ako sometimes at feeling lost kase di ko alam kung bakit parang iba ako sakanila. on the other hand, i have my roommate whos always been there for me at is sort of like my only comfort kapag nabwibwiset ako sa dalawa kong friends. si friend A at B kase, theyre very sociable people, unlike me who cannot easily keep up in social situations and tend to get overwhelmed. they know this, and they still completely forget that i exist when we're with other people and when i talked about how i felt they apologized yet said "we just get carried away". one time i also came out on my feelings about being left out, and yung response naman nila is apologizing pero i feel like they only did it cause i talked about it, not because they cared. i am an avid overthinker too and may instances naman na sila gumawa ng di ko gusto, pero ako pa kailangan lumapit sakanila para magsorry sila. i feel scared to open up na because when i tell them something upsets me, they distance themselves and act like ako yung may mali for saying that and dont say sorry until im the one who has to come up and say sorry for talking about my feelings. they also dont like to tell me when i upset them even if theyre all for "communication". "takot kami na masira yung friendship" which is something ive never tried to do when theyre upset w me, yet sila yung magpapadistance sakin kapag ako nagopen up. di ko alam kung naguguilty lang sila o ayaw lang nila mag own up to their actions. when theyre the ones naman na may problema sa isa't isa, they act so differently and even cry for eachother. i dont want to push myself to them, i just want to stay friends with them so bad kase i love them so, so much. and when i was going thru all of that, my roommate was the only one who was by my side and my only comfort. i thought i found my person talaga. but then friend B became friends with si roommate at nagpapalibre sa canteen, most of roommates money came to friend B's snacks instead of their own food. and friend A was concerned of this at first and talked to me about it. but recently, naging close si roommate with friend B over the week, and i came back to school with friend B, friend A, and my roommate being a whole new friend group. of course nakisama ako, all of them are my friends, pero i was still excluded, and roommate found less time to hangout with me and sort of acted like they cared less for me na. friend B and A kase are strong presences, super social people who can easily take control in social situations, which can be a bad and good thing. roomie still hangs out w/ me, pero easily nananakaw yung time namin together whenever friend B and A join in. i easily get overshadowed. nabwibwiset ako talaga, pagod na PAGOD na ako. as soon as i moved on from trying to chase a friendship na hindi maglalalast--- parang nawala na din yung isang tao that i thought was my bestfriend, by the SAME PEOPLE i moved on from. slowly nakikita ko din na naiinfluence na siya kay friend a and b, in terms of humor and personality--- theyre starting to make the same problematic jokes they make. when i was closer with A and B, i really tried to get them to stop making those offensive jokes kase di maganda yun, and they tried to, i tried to understand kase they grew up around those jokes that they know are bad pero di sila nagstop. i made plans with roommate for tonight, pero here i am, listening to them laugh together in their dorm while i sit outside.
abyg kase nagseselos ako sa roommate at friends ko at feeling ko din possessive friend ako, kailangan ko tlga ng payo. one time nagopen up ako na upset ako kay friend A at B at sabi nila i always make them feel like theyre in the wrong

I like Kira Kira a lot, but the villains were just one of the things I was not a fan of for the season. So I thought maybe trying to rewrite some of them so they better fit the narrative a little more theme-wise while still retaining some of the good things about them in their original incarnations:

• Kirakiraru Thieves- Instead of the random no name fairies in the mountain who all look like pekorin, I think the corrupted sweets fairies should've been the residents of the mountains. Then it would make more sense to rescue them. Just design softer, non-sharp looks for their purified fairy forms. They're already food themed so making them the sweets fairies of the mountain makes so much sense. Maybe their designated purpose was to increase the kirakirarun production in their respective snacks but corruption makes them suck it out instead.
• Julio- Honestly, keep Julio as is but instead of breaking his wand JUST after his revival, just make his powers more like a defensive waffle barrier so that he focuses on defending the populace while the Cures fight. Make his character like a paladin who protects the people's kirakirarun to make up for his past sins of stealing it.
• Bibury- I already like Bibury's personality and look, but her powers and story just feel a little lackluster. Maybe make it so that she's an orphan who was always hungry and she curses people who always ate meals together with their families. That's when she was "saved" by Noir and given a doll, which gave her the familial love she craved for while keeping her hate for sweets, which are a luxury to her. Transforming her cursed doll is already a unique aspect that I want to keep but maybe some of her powers is to make copies of Iru to spread magical rumors and maybe help her in battle by hindering the enemies movements. This power carries over when she defects to the Cures but the doll copies are now dressed in white and black and have her pigtails.
• Grave- Probably the weirdest one out of the bunch. He's not even dessert-themed or related but just a corrupt business creep who has a car and minions. I'd make it so that he used to work for a factory that makes sweets but is more concerned about the profits and kept cutting costs but making the sweets worse in quality. Eventually, this collapsed the business and he was ostracized from sweetmakers everywhere. Since then he kept bleeding money till he was poor and had to sell his car before Noir found him and offered him a position because of his greed. He can keep the car and the nendos which can represent his need for luxury and workers who will do everything he says, but give him more of a hate for sweets as the reason for his fall from grace and make him crush some sweets under his boots or spray car exhaust on them because he's petty.
• Diable- Another weird one. Its just a weird shadow ghost dog. No big story there. I think the fact that they're animal sweets is maybe played around with this fact but they never really touched much on it. Maybe its like... Its the collective hunger of the harsh animals in the forest given form? Either way, not a lot to be said about this one aside from polishing what they ARE. I did think it was cute they got reincarnated as a puppy tho.
• Noir- So Noir is the big bad who is also not a big bad? It's a very weird dynamic for sure and his motives don't make a lick of sense. I'd rewrite him as a tragic figure who has seen the horrors of war as he is already a soldier. Maybe after Lumiere rescued him, he attempted to help her comfort the people around the shop by assisting her and taking care of others. But his heart was filled with only hate and guilt and suffering and frustration from his battles and not being able to bake well (which parallels a bit with Pikario) that he only ruined the sweets and sucked the Kirakirarun out of them. He would see himself as a being who only took instead of giving like Lumiere does and the darkness inside of him would cloud his judgement. The inner darkness would keep collecting and corrupt his inner kirakirarun and no matter how much Lumiere would try to reach into his heart with her treats, his suffering and pain would only further absorb and corrupt the energy. So it would be like he's constantly hungry for the comfort of sweets but can never feel it because he allows his newfound selfishness and hopeless views of the world to win out, like a form of PTSD. Thus he would seek to suck kirakirarun from all the world in order to fill the emptiness in his soul.
• Elisio- I liked the idea that Elisio was like a dark part of Noir given form but the execution as a villain left a lot to be desired. He's looks like a pâtissier, but his powers are cards? And he also took a step back and just became "the villain who combines random objects together". Why not just have an evil whisk that mixes corrupted treat monsters? He is also born from like... a corrupted cupcake? I like the corrupted cupcake angle, but with the rewritten Noir, make it so that the dark energy within him accumulated so much that his heart had to vent out a bunch of it and it became Elisio. Elisio is like... a representation of his futility in redeeming himself, which is why he mixes up evil dessert monsters because they represent Noir's self-hate for destroying desserts instead of creating. Maybe the whisk can harden stolen kirakirarun much like how the girls can shape it like clay and he can make hard crystal weapons like a lance or a sword out of his corruption whisk. He can still absorb both Lumiere and Noir in the latter half as well, but he mixes them up into his whisk and consumes them like a dessert, but evilly. It seems his goal is a perfect utopia of emotionlessness, which I still like as an angle but maybe method is focused on absorbing all the Kirakirarun and corrupt it all in one go instead, using it to transform and create the perfect earth just like the girls did to form up the kirapati. This would also allow him to hide his plan from Noir while still pretending to comply with his wishes to fill his empty heart.

This is a crossover fanfiction between original fiction titles: Nature of Predators by SpacePaladin15 and The Last Angel by Proximal Flame respectively. All credit and rights reserved goes to them for making such amazing science fiction settings that I wanted to put this together.
You can read The Last Angel here: Be warned, it's decently long, and at its third installment so far. I highly suggest reading it before reading this, or this story will not make sense.

Otherwise, enjoy the story! Thanks again to u/jesterra54 and u/skais01 for beta and checking of work!
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Memory transcription subject: Governor Tarva of the Venlil Republic
Date [standardized human time]: October 22, 2136
The reveal of the Arxur's assistance of Earth was a unsettling, but mostly overlooked note to add to the headlines filling news sites today on Venlil Prime.
UNKNOWN SHIP DEVASTATES FEDERATION FLEET ABOVE EARTH, HUMANITY LIVES
While the ship wasn't currently unknown to us, given the UN's report, General Kam had advised that it would be better left unspoken of what capabilities we did know, so as to not worry the populace. "Leave causing panic to the humans" he said. But I heard the worries and anxious rumors throughout both social media and verbal conversations...
"That ship destroyed an ENTIRE fleet!?"
"Oh Protector, please tell me its not an Arxur vessel..."
"Why don't we know more?"
I couldn't help but feel for my people. I came to disagree with Kam's advice more and more, as I wished desperately to allay their fears of it being an Arxur superweapon, or that it was going to destroy us soon, or other similar worries.
Are you so sure yourself, Tarva? Even the UN government is scared of it, and it supposedly was made by a future Humanity...
I tried not to focus on that pang of paranoia. I just hoped soon enough the UN would make a statement on the Nemesis already. As I accompanied Noah to the UN's remembrance speech today, I did my best to scan for the feelings worn on peoples faces. The Venlil were unsettled as before, but the human refugees were an odder story altogether.
They were devastated, and scared as well as us Venlil were. But on top of it, I could see a common face worn of confusion. The information disambiguation hadn't made its way to Venlil Prime like it had Earth, and as such they were as much in the dark as the public here was. I could only imagine their uncertainty, knowing their race was likely saved by something they had no idea about.
Noah spoke out of nowhere. "I feel for the refugees here. Forced to an unfamiliar place, so unofficially hostile to them, and now they learn of Nemesis like this? I'd be as confused as them in their place." He checked his suit, attending to shift it so slightly as to make him look better in it. "I also can't imagine your opponents didn't run the whole ball with their existence here, too. Are we taxing you harshly, Tarva?"
I gripped his hand tighter. "No, Noah. While there are those that want you off-planet, I will not let them kick you off. I'll fight for you, no matter the cost."
"Seems like anywhere we go, we cause a fight some way or another. Pops always said space was our ticket to a better future, yet all we seem to cause is trouble for merely existing."
"Noah, its not your people's fault we're afraid of you. The Arxur are to blame for that, and we're at fault for holding it against you. What happened to Earth was not your doing, you tried your best, and it just was not convincing enough for millennia of cultural momentum."
He smiled at that, a muted, but still genuine smile. "Thank you Tarva. I'm glad you see the best in us, even when we don't."
I continued to scan the crowd, looking for the sight of Meier. He always seemed alight in diplomacy whenever he was around, it was a strength of his, outshining the room like that. I could only hope he was doing okay in the current state of Earth. The last time we talked, he seemed very tired, very...frustrated with everything.
But I was glad to see him in some his element soon after, amongst a group of dignitaries from other Federation species. He seemed to be listening to a Mazic diplomat, one I remembered by the name of Cupo. Sadly, however, despite Meier's attempt, it seems the conversation was not on a good track.
"-they're a menace to the rest of the galaxy, and you just let them in, not so soon after this ship blindsided an entire Federation fleet out of nowhere!?"
Meier dejectedly sighed. "Cupo, I thought I already told you, when the Arxur showed up, we had no capability to tell them to take a hike. They were ten-thousand strong and we barely managed several hundred ships left. That they even engaged in dialogue rather than just subjugation was a surprise to me."
"That doesn't make much sense either, Elias Meier. Since when do the Arxur play merciful? You're not telling us something here, and it curls my trunk in knots. How can we trust you when you can't even give us the details on what that ship is, or why the Arxur even showed up in its stead?"
The Mazic was not interested in Meier's friendly act, not giving any room for benefit of the doubt. The other diplomats crowded around began to mumble in agreement, as Meier stood there, formulating some response.
"What we do know about the ship and the Arxur, we'll clear up publically later in this event. But neither were expected by us, you have to believe me. Humanity is just as confused as you all are on the results of that battle, and-"
Cupo interrupted this time, clearly not willing to hear an explanation out. "You're running out of trust, Human. We think you ought to be given a chance; as the empathy studies show, you're not the Arxur. But associating with them as you are, with little transparency is not doing you favors with us, and if you want further association with us, you'd best cut ties with those monsters sooner, rather than later." The Mazic's ears hung in displeasure, and I could sense the nervousness in Meier as he stood down one of the races in the room far bigger than he was. Whether Cupo knew it or not, Meier was intimidated by his presence, and was trying to keep it cool to some degree. "We'll at most help with the Gojid refugees at the moment, as they've suffered both of your kind, but beyond that, consider it on hold until that problem is resolved."
They walked away, and some of the alien crowd amongst them followed. The only ones still sticking around seemed to be a Yotul diplomat, a Nevok, and a Fissan. The latter two stuck obviously to discuss more trade details, seeking to cut the other off from Earth to a degree in hopes of exploiting the system, but the Yotul was a surprise. I didn't even realize they had sent one this way.
Given the relatively new uplift of their world, I didn't imagine the Yotul having much stake or spread throughout the galaxy, so how did humanity...?
Meier turned to him. "Ah...Ambassador Laulo, I'm sorry you had to see that. We're...not doing so hot in the grand scheme of things, and some relations are boiling over as a result."
Laulo enthusiastically shook his head in denial. "No, it's okay! I understand the feeling of that persecution, even if it's for a different reason. Feels like the galaxy kicking you while you're already down."
"I appreciate any help we can get in regards to this. You're one of the very few races left that's pledged some sense of unconditional aid. I promise, with all I have in my power, I'll try and return the favor-Tarva!" Elias noticed my presence at last. "I...uh, how long have you been standing there?..."
"Long enough to hear most of it. I'm sorry the more neutral species aren't helping any, Meier. But that's not why I'm here, specifically. We need to talk about the human refugees."
Meier looked at me funny with that statement, as if he wasn't expecting something out of me. "I see...I hope it's not anything too bad, is it?"
I silently cringed at the exact words. Noah filled in the details in my stead. "Meier, the refugees here are seeing images of Earth, of those not too horribly in shock to do anything, there's been an uptick in suicides...a massive uptick. They aren't aware of the full story, due to the Venlil government's reluctance to publish the report sent here publicly. This remembrance speech better give the people here a semblance of peace, of stability, because there's an extreme lack of morale left in the camps."
Meier grimaced and scanned the crowd, glancing at the humans that were here. I assume he too could see how dejected many were, how many seemed at the end of their rope, coming here for the slightest hint of hope left in their lives at the news. They would need some good news, or there was a chance some wouldn't be here tomorrow.
I felt for them. They didn't deserve this, and our intentional censor of the details, so that Meier could deliver the news likely didn't help with the rates.
"I get that Noah. I really do. What happened at Earth was a tragedy, and the death toll is nearly 800 million. You could likely gather a group of ten or so humans from anywhere, and one of them lost someone close to them. I'll...do my best to raise their spirits, there's plenty to talk about here. The alien diplomats just aren't making this easy..." Meier gestured to the clearly forming bloc of neutral species dignitaries that gathered in the room. They did not seem to want to talk further on any support of Earth until some demands were met, mostly on why things were kept so information-blackout heavy at first. The speech would have to be twofold, at raising human refugees' spirits, and at convincing some of the touchy species to support Earth.
His work was cut out for him.
"Did you wish for any assistance on that front, Meier?" Noah offered. His kindness shone through even in the depths of despair that wore
itself on humanity currently. His soul was purely sweet and kind, regardless of his predator disposition, I so deeply respected that about him.
They began to talk shop, Noah mentioning his current experiences with human refugees upon Venlil Prime, and what topics Meier ought to add on and hit on in his speech. As rushed of advice as it was, Meier seemed determined to fit it in somehow, but I knew he had a silver tongue, his capability to navigate and convince was downright bewildering, present company excepted of course. Nothing would get those species over his diet anytime soon, so I could only hope he could appeal to their empathy as another sentient in this case.
I believed in them. If anyone could turn the state of the galaxy around, it would be these two.
Memory transcription subject: Dorian Abder, Commons Member of Parliament
Date [standardized human time]: October 22, 2136
I sat on my desk, watching out the window of my office at the Westminster Palace, reminiscing on the sad scene outside. Another body under cloth cover, wheeled out on a stretcher from a home surrounded by paramedics. Another swept up in despair, seeing the state of our beautiful planet, of our populace, so brutally scarred, enough to take their own life.
How many was it, so far? Nearly a half-percent suicide rate for every hundred thousand in England? More than eight times the highest resting rate in our entire history. And we were hardly hit in comparison to the rest of the world...how are they doing if it's this bad here?
I leaned back in my chair, back cracking in old age, forcing myself away from the scene outside. I tried to not think about it, just tried to focus again on my work. On the coordination efforts with the UN, the Arxur, and any other races seeking to help. But it was a mountain of work ahead, a peak of papers I could barely see myself climbing in an entire week, let alone the mere day it was handed down here.
We've all lost someone. Not a single soul hasn't been touched by the Federation's bombing.
I thought about how the targeting of cities took. How they focused so heavily on Africa and Asia, the most booming corridors of population on Earth. How they erased 78 cities from existence before their fleet was devastated by The Sword. They weren't aiming to cripple humanity, on industrial depots and power plants, but to exterminate us. They aimed for the most populated cities first, before taking potshots at what remained.
Being put to the death by The Sword serves them right, they deserved judgement by that blade for what they had done.
Or, rather, the Nemesis, as reports had given us. A human ship, but not quite our humanity. A time traveler conveniently sent here by accident, saving us from extinction. An AI piloted ship that sought now to reunite with Earth having defended us. Given what remained of our Guardian Angel, I sought to do everything I could to make their welcome home a celebration, for they defended humanity in our darkest hour.
I recalled my journeys around the globe as a younger man. How my endless wanderlust took me to every corner of the globe in the wake of the Satellite Wars. How the global power vacuum led to so much relief efforts, as the less-touched nations finally had room to breathe, the canopy of carefully controlled superpowers no longer eating up their light needed to grow. How African countries like South Africa and Niger found themselves expanding to match the designation of First World. How beautiful the Seychelles were to see in person.
How my volunteering in the UN's Unfurled Umbrella Initiatives after the Treaty of Shanghai took me to the partially collapsed countries amidst Asia. How Tokyo, despite its immense infrastructure failure, dragged itself back to a powerhouse of a city, as Japan built for itself after so long. How China's government reformed into a Republic after the post-war coups, and how Taiwan finally opened its heart more to them for it. How Beijing found itself all the stronger for adversity.
How the South and Central Americas found themselves no longer under the impressive hand of the United States' geopolitical influence. How the first Diaspora vessels took off from Argentina, seeking to establish a government sentenced only to the annals of history on Earth upon the distant surfaces of Mars. How they were so determined to prove the world wrong on its presuppositions of how a place should be ruled, free of the influence of bullying countries. And how their dream led to the now Martian Collective.
I thought of all the other places the UN took me. Of Cairo, and its deep connection to our most prominent civilization of the ancient past. Of Istanbul, to see the beauty of mixing Christian and Islamic influence over centuries of swapping hands. Of the stunning ports of Singapore, an industrial powerhouse of a nation, so tightly packed into one single city. Of the stunning silver forest of skyscrapers that was New York City, still kicking even after the devastation of the Satellite Wars. Mumbai, Baghdad, Lagos, Mogadishu, Guadalajara, Rio De Janeiro, Berlin. How I drank in all the beauty and magnificent history and culture of the world, and was all the fuller a person for it. These and so many more.
I thought of the honey farmer I met by the Saigon River; how Châu Được's family had kept the traditional job going for so long, and divinely sweet their harvest was they shared with me. I thought of Dari Qazi, how the humble Afghani-borne man had found himself at the forefront of a secular revolution in Pakistan, reaching unrivaled progress not seen since the 1980's. I remembered the ambitious young woman in Monterrey, Mexico, who talked to me of her dreams to build spaceships for the Diaspora program, how she wished dearly she could leave a mark on history, and how now her name was on the finest rockets of the age.
All gone. Dust on the wind. Atomized debris now. Their homes, their families, their history gone, according to reports of which cities have evaporated to bedrock.
Thousands of years of history, erased in moments by antimatter over Rome. Los Angeles was reduced to the basin it was built on those long years ago in America. Cape Town's hard fought for progress from humble beginnings to the most populous and prosperous city in all of Africa, wiped from the record in an instant. Seven-hundred and eighty million dead in the span of an hour.
All those years spent, traveling around the world, drinking in the sights, to know they will never return. To know they are gone and buried, snuffed out by a bloody cruel universe, filled with utterly contemptible aliens. A deep voice spoke inside me on a loop, constantly asking an enraging question.
"Did it all mean nothing to you, Dorian?"
There was only one answer I considered giving to that accusation. To the monsters that took so many lives and homes from humanity, merely for having the gall to eat differently. What answered back blistered with hatred, yet kept frigidly focused.
"It meant everything to me."
Something clicked inside; the Federation wouldn't get away with this. We deserved justice. I rustled through my desk drawers, looking for old contacts from my political days. The stacks of papers on my desk could wait, this was more important. I needed to make some calls. Humanity deserved better, and I knew just how we could get it. But it would require a far more coordinated effort than just me. No, it needed a movement.
The galaxy will hear us. One way or another, we deserve justice. And we have just the circumstances to deliver it...
Memory transcription subject: Governor Tarva of the Venlil Republic
Date [standardized human time]: October 22, 2136
"-the sting of these days will someday pass. Maybe not in the near future, maybe not even in our lifetime, but we will one day no longer feel his pain, this suffering. Until that day comes, we will not go gently into that dark night, we will live on, mourn our dead, defend those still living, and make humanity known to the galaxy that it will not roll over when faced with such hostility. To those who support us even now, I thank you deeply to the core, and ask for a moment of silence to those lost both above and on Earth...to those who would stand with the Federation, who did so cruelly act upon us, we urge you to reconsider, and turn away, for we bring not a olive branch, but a sword. Those species governments that did this will not get away with this, and those who stood aside and watched...either choose a side, or be labeled on one for your inaction. Thank you."
Meier finished his speech with that, and some applause was heard from human refugees amidst the crowd, but a majority remained mostly quiet, in remembrance of the lives lost. A good majority of the dignitaries from the Federation neutral races had already left by this point, so the pointed message at the end likely missed them personally, even if they listen in later. It was a good speech, but it felt...infused with something that was clearly not Meier's normal calm. It was like seeing a side I had never seen with him before, not rant-angry, but mad nevertheless, hidden behind a veneer of diplomatic politeness.
Noah put it in terms I thought best as Meier walked off stage. "You're a bit more of a firebrand than I thought Meier, but nevertheless a good speech! I'm glad you tied in what advice I could give for the refugees here so smoothly."
Meier smiled at that, a cathartic smile that spoke of being proud of what he delivered just a moment ago. I could only imagine he was aching with tension over the pain of so much loss of life, it was only fair that he be angry at the galaxy at large for it, and make it heard.
"Thank you, Noah. I sincerely mean every word of it. The Federation must not escape scot-free for what they have done, and already now at home we're preparing to bring the fight back to them." He looked at me. "We'll...obviously not go as far as the Federation did, but I speak for everyone in that humanity is not happy, and it shows. Even the refugees that came here looking a mere instant from giving up seem a bit resolved now to that goal. I just wish more were on our side to start...I never wanted war, but the galaxy's forcing it."
"I'm so sorry, Meier. My deepest sympathies for how the galaxy has treated you and yours. Despite the hiccups recently, I guarantee we'll still remain close allies; humanity deserves nothing less."
The remainder of the species in the remembrance assembly started to funnel out; it was mostly just humans and Venlil at this point, but a few stuck around. The Yotul ambassador, Laulo, was an obvious one amongst the stragglers, clearly meaning to talk with Meier and us further. As the room became more and more empty he walked over to us once again.
"Meier! Your speech was wonderful, full of spice and vigor, yet calming all the same. It was like a call to arms while smoking spiritwood. The Federation stragglers hopefully will reconsider!"
I felt a little weirded out by his choice of focus in the speech on The Federation, rather than humanity, but I responded in Meier's stead positively: "Yes, Meier's an expert in political and social matters. Anyways, what did you want? You seem to be just hanging around, waiting for a moment here."
"Ah...yes, about that..." Ambassador Laulo nervously tugged at his uniform. "I was sent here initially just in good faith for humanity, as we knew what it must've felt like for the Federation to bully you so immensely. But this second visit, to the gala itself...we actually want to propose something to Humanity and the Venlil, but I wanted to wait for Federation sympathizing eyes and ears to be far away from here first."
He looked somewhat desperate, but resolved. "We're planning on breaking off from the Federation. Their influence on our planet is awful, given what they've done to us during the uplift. They seek to repress our culture, they constantly call us backward, and primitive, hardly capable of thinking for our own in this galaxy. We're tired of it, but we still are partially relying on their technological development to get to this point, and we don't have a proper fleet made. Your space is closest to ours, and we hoped-"
Meier finished "-that'd we begin our war fronting towards Leirn first? Free your people from the Federation? I'll gladly bring it up with our military advisors. You helped us, we help you back."
Laulo sighed in relief at that, a huge weight taken off their shoulders. "T-thank you. Thank you so much for this. Leirn has sought to be free of their grasp ever since we learned their intentions were not pure. You've been the first species to actually care to some degree, and were our only hope out of this mess."
"Don't thank us just yet. If you'd like to get in contact with our military, I can set you up with some Generals and your government as a liason for the war. You can coordinate anything on your side of the bargain to us through them, and make this smoother." Meier handed him a card, and waved over a human attendant of his to Laulo. She talked with him as the two walked away, and Meier remained.
Noah turned to me, a warm hand scruffing my fur. "I know the state of things doesn't look too great, love, but it could be so much worse. We'll make due with what we can get, and hopefully the galaxy will be a better place for it. Don't worry, all will be well someday."
I believed him. Who wouldn't believe in humanity?
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I'm planning to shoot indoors with poor tungsten lighting soon. I've been able to dial in my rotary processing times for HC-110 Dilution H for ORWO UN54, Kodak 5222, Kodak 2238, and Kodak 2254 fairly easily because I had bulk rolls of each. Finding my personal EI and dev times has been fun and straightforward. I like structure of the Zone System for this. However, intentionally pushing film for crushed shadows and blown highlights still feels uncomfortably new to me since I prefer to have the "flexible" negative. That seems to go out the window when indoor lighting is poor and low, so compromises have to be made, this feels like uncharted territory for me (I'm way more comfortable with landscapes.
Unfortunately, I only have 5x 36exp rolls of Kodak Tri-X left (from the heyday when 100' was $90) and don't expect to be purchasing more in the future, it's simply beyond my budget now. I need low light and have been debating whether or not to get a 100' roll of HP5+ and shoot it at 1600 (their datasheet is pretty straightforward with times) or....do I stick with the 5x rolls of Tri-X and get busy testing. If I go the second route, I would like to kindly ask the community's advice on starting times for HC-110 (any dilution) and Tri-X at 1250 or 1600.
So far I've found:
EI 1600: HC-110 B for 12 minutes @ 68F
EI 1250: HC-110B for 16 minutes @ 68F
Personally, my guess is N development is probably around 6 minutes so N+1 is maybe 8.4 minutes and N+2 is 11.75 minutes?
I will account for rotary processing time and temp, so no worries on that. I have looked at the Massive Dev Chart but I prefer advice from this subreddit first before relying on it. Not a knock on the MDC - they're great. For Tri-X, the dev times from Kodak, the MDC, and Covington Innovations have been helpful at triangulating a ballpark. I'm surprised Kodak hasn't corrected the typo on their Tri-X datasheet for 3m45s HC-110 B@ 68F for box speed.
Ideally, I'd like to lose as few rolls as possible for testing. Credit to one of our community elders😊 u/mcarterphoto for a cool trick that I remember from many years ago, where I believe, you set the camera to Bulb mode or on the Nikon F5, a multi-minute exposure, fire the shutter, and while the mirror is up and with the first curtain opened, you adhere a piece of Scotch tape onto that frame, (don't press too hard or it'll flex the pressure plate and light leak into the adjacent frames) and then close the shutter, drop the mirror, now in the dark bag, you have a tactile "bookmark" for those test exposures. This way you can test multiple EIs on a roll of 35mm.
Anyways, would invite anyone to share their proven times and an example if they wish. Many thanks!

I'm spiraling right now & really emotional, so please bear with me.
My boyfriend (M34) has mental health issues (Bipolar disorder, BPD, OCD, anxiety) I (F25) also struggle with mental health, I know we may not be the healthiest together but we try to make it work.
My boyfriend of five years had a psychiatry appointment yesterday and was discussing his identity disturbance issues that he's been struggling with for years now because he thought it was related to just his mania. The psychiatrist told him that she thinks he's actually trans and that his mania makes him more accepting of it. He's talked about wanting to get on HRT and wanting to look more feminine which I'm not comfortable with and have already expressed my concerns with him a few times, he says that if he did go on it that it won't be that bad, I'll probably like it etc etc... Him saying that made me feel invalidated. I recently opened our relationship to allow him to sleep with other men because he kept saying how he wanted to embrace his sexuality and I just wanted him to be happy (we're both bisexual). He's told me how he'd be so much happier as a girl and he can see himself dating a femboy.
He asked me if he transitioned would we still be together and I was honest with him and told him that I couldn't stay with him or even live with him anymore because it would hinder my healing but I would probably still be friends with him, then he started backpedaling and told me that he wouldn't get on HRT or transition unless I gave him permission to. I told him that I don't want him to resent me for it later and I don't want to get in the way of his happiness but he repeatedly told me that he wouldn't resent me if I never gave him permission. He then told me he'll get therapy before he decides. We plan on getting married one day and I told him that if I get married I don't want to experience divorce and that if I do get divorced for whatever reason I don't plan on ever re-marrying so now I'm worried about whether or not to continue this relationship or not. I told him I don't like living in uncertainty and he got irritated at me for being upset and told me not to worry.
I just don't want him to suddenly decide after we're married that he wants to transition but I also don't want to keep him from being happy either. I feel like that's not fair for either of us. I feel like we both deserve to find someone who's compatible with us.
I'm spiraling because I don't have any family to go to (there all abusive), I don't have any friends, He's my social security representative (in control of my disability benefits), I can't work because I'm disabled, I don't have a license or a car, I don't have a ged, I have bad credit and can't afford a place of my own. I'm also in a state I'm not familiar with.
He was the one constant that I thought I had but now there's a very real possibility that he'll change and that I'll have to completely uproot my life again and start again from scratch only I'll be completely alone and have nobody. I've basically lost everyone in my life and now I might lose him too. I just want a break, I'm fucking exhausted. Like dealing with our mental health issues is exhausting but now this. I'm so tired. Idk what the fuck to do. I wish I had a healthy family for support.
I'm trying my best not to over react but its hard when you have constant anxiety.

I plan on building myself a rig and I can source 80x40 AL6060 T5 profiles or AL6063 T6 profiles at almost twice the price. I know AL6063 is stronger and the T6 treatment is better, but is it really needed for a sim rig or AL6060 T5 will do?

The people involved (names are changed):
Jake – me
Tom – my flatmate
Kath – Tom’s girlfriend
Emily – Kath’s flatmate
TLDR (but context is very important for how the situation develops):
· Me and Emily get with each other at a party.
· It turns out Kath had forbidden Emily from getting with me. Since Emily went and did it anyway, Kath falls out with her.
· Kath ends her friendship with Emily. Me and Emily continue seeing each other.
· When I plan to go to see Emily at their apartment, Tom tells me that Kath is in a really dark place mentally, and the thought of me and Emily being there together while Kath’s there is triggering her anxiety, so he asks me not to go over.
· Me and Emily follow these instructions for months, while Tom and Kath continue coming and going to either of our apartments as they please.
· Emily eventually gets in touch with Kath to try and understand exactly why me coming over is an issue, since Kath has no problem coming to my place. Kath has a meltdown due to this and it makes her suicidal.
· Tom falls out with me because I knew about the messages that caused his girlfriend to feel suicidal.
(Skip to 'Late April' if you want to go straight to the crux of this post, but I do think it's quite an entertaining read).
Background Context
Me and Tom (both mid-twenties) have lived together in our apartment since I moved to the city last year. I’ve known him for several years and would put him in my inner circle of closest friends, so living with him was all just good chill vibes as expected - or at least it was for the first six months.
I met Tom’s girlfriend of several months, Kath, for the first time pretty soon after moving in. Although she was kind of shy, I thought she seemed nice enough. I noticed that Kath would seem to lean on Tom a fair amount when it came to support for her mental health (she had been diagnosed with anxiety), which of course is normal as her boyfriend. On one occasion, she had a particularly bad anxious episode during a group hangout, with Tom consoling her about it afterwards. Following this, Tom seemed exhausted, saying to me “I’m not a professional, I’m not equipped to deal with all this mental health stuff. She needs help from someone who can adequately help her deal with these thoughts. When she blows things out of proportion and she stresses out to me about her anxiety, it just ends up making my own anxiety worse”. He also said that he had even offered to pay for therapy for Kath, but she didn’t want to accept it.
I just felt bad for Tom, especially since I had some understanding of what he was going through. I had previously had a girlfriend who had anxiety/depression/BPD and put all her mental health issues on me. That girlfriend was also very manipulative and would mention suicidal thoughts any time she started feeling like she was losing control over me (just to be clear, there was no indication that Kath was acting in a manipulative way towards Tom at that point). In my experience, when you end up in a situation where you’re essentially acting as someone’s full-time personal mental health counsellor, it hardly ever ends well.
At some point in January, I met Kath’s “bestie” flatmate, Emily. I remember thinking she was cute, seemed nice and easy to talk to. We all hung out as a group a few times that month and I thought there may have been a little bit of a vibe between me and Emily.
So as you do, I slid into Emily’s DMs and basically let her know I was interested. I messaged her a week or two before our party that her and Kath were coming to, but her response was lukewarm so I just thought she probably wasn’t interested.
For context, I had recently broken up with my girlfriend in January, who had just got back from travelling for the last 6 months. Things in that relationship weren’t great before she even went travelling, and during the months she was away I had come to terms with the fact that it was best to end it. I waited until she was back to say it in person, as I didn’t want to drop that on her while she was travelling and ruin that once in a lifetime experience. However, deep down I knew I had wanted talk to other girls and explore new connections for the last few months, but obviously I didn’t want talk to anyone until it was cleanly over. Me messaging Emily was only a few days after breaking up with her, which I guess isn’t great, but in my head I had been ready to move on for a while, I saw no point in putting an arbitrary time limit on myself. I made sure to explain this context when I messaged Emily so that she was aware of my recent circumstances.
The Party (End of January)
So me and Emily end up getting with each other at the party. Initially, when I brought up me messaging her, she said “I think you’re cute, but I think it’s best we just be friends for the next couple months, since you just recently got out of a relationship, and we can see what happens afterwards”. But as the night went on, I guess Emily changed her mind, because as we kept talking it got increasingly flirty and we ended up getting together. Perfect end to the night, right? Not exactly.
At one point when Emily goes to the bathroom, she comes back into my bedroom saying “Kath is furious at me”. I ask why, and she says that Kath had basically forbidden her from getting with me.
Back when I first messaged Emily, she had of course shown Kath the messages straight away. It turns out Kath for some reason had a really intense reaction to this and was like “I can’t believe he has the audacity to hit on my best friend right after breaking up with his girlfriend! It’s so disrespectful using you as a rebound, it’s disrespectful to his ex and it’s disrespectful to me for hitting on my best friend like this! He was the only one of Tom’s friends that I actually liked but he’s ruined that too now!”.
Apparently, Kath had been used as a rebound before and this was triggering for her, so she didn’t want her best friend to be used as a rebound. She said “you can’t get with him, Emily, that’s my boundary.” Emily was a bit taken aback by the intensity of this reaction and was just a bit like “umm okay…?”. She tried a few times before the party to understand a bit more about why Kath had such a problem with it but didn’t get much further explanation than that.
Now, I agree that Emily was in the wrong for saying to Kath that she wouldn’t get with me and then went and did it anyway, and Emily also acknowledges this. Emily should have said from the start she wasn’t okay with this weird “boundary” Kath had set. It was a bit cowardly. Although given how intensely Kath overreacts to things, I can understand why Emily initially just agreed to whatever she was saying to calm her down. I can also understand how when you’re at a party having fun, drinking and realise that you do actually have a good vibe with the person, in the moment you might change your mind and be like “actually fuck that, who the fuck is she to tell me who I can and can’t get with?”.
Kath saw this as Emily having no respect for their friendship, by choosing some guy she’d just met over her. From Emily’s perspective she was choosing herself, choosing not to follow these nonsensical rules that had been imposed on her, and she was just tired of Kath overreacting to everything and trying to control her.
In my opinion, being this controlling for no good reason is pretty disrespectful in itself. Given that Kath’s reason for telling Emily not to get with me was because she didn’t want her to be used as a rebound…well that’s Emily’s risk to take, isn’t it? I can see how from Emily’s perspective, she knew Kath might not be happy about it, but it’s also not some deep betrayal, since based on the reason Kath gave, the consequence would only be on Emily herself. Emily had the exact same knowledge about my recent relationship status as Kath did, so why did Kath think she can tell her what to do?
As we get to further into this post and the real reason why Kath set this “boundary” is revealed, you will see why I actually think any argument Kath has against Emily for getting with me at the party is automatically void, but we will learn these details as they come.
Start of February
After the events of the party, Kath didn’t want to talk to Emily the next day when she tried to initiate communication via message (Kath tends to avoid in-person confrontation). Fair enough, Emily gave her space. Me and Emily spend the next day together just talking and getting to know each other more, and it’s clear that we vibe together and both feel very comfortable with each other, which is pretty rare for both of us.
I don’t see Tom for the first few days after the party, as he had been staying at Kath’s. When I do, I’m a bit surprised that he didn’t think much of Kath’s reaction at the party. He says “yeah I probably should have warned you about this beforehand”. We both agree that Emily was in the wrong for going back on what she said, but also that Kath shouldn’t have tried to control her like that. He did say “sorry I know this put you in an awkward position”.
A few days after the party, Emily again tries to get in touch with Kath via message.
Emily’s message essentially apologised for her actions, saying she was in the wrong for going back on what she said, and that she should have said from the start that she wasn’t happy with this “boundary”. She also said that Kath shouldn’t have tried to dictate her life and tell her what to do, especially when it’s something that’s none of her business, and that she is going to continue seeing me, taking the risk of being a “rebound”.
Kath’s response essentially said the whole incident at the party was only a small part of why she exploded so intensely, this was just the last in a long line of things Emily had done in the past which she had not forgiven her for. This was just the last straw for Kath because “it hit so close to home, so close to the love of my life”. She wanted things to be civil between them until the end of their tenancy, but this was essentially the end of their friendship.
Okay good, Kath flipping out so badly now finally made a bit more sense to me. Obviously, I wanted to know what Emily had done that was so bad to cause this, as any indicators of bad character would inform whether I choose to keep talking to her.
Emily went through these, explaining that these were incidents from their past that they had discussed at the time, dealt with and moved on from. I have cut these out for the word limit as they don’t add much to this post, but it was the most minor, nonsensical things (I can explain in the comments if anyone wants details).
In any case, I wasn’t particularly interested in what mistakes Emily might have made months or years ago, I was more interested in what her character was like now and going forward.
Early/Mid February
So here’s where the main situation we’re in now starts. For context, Kath and Emily’s apartment is in the city center, close to where both mine and Tom’s offices are, so it would make sense to go over in the evening and go into work from theirs the next morning, as Tom has been doing once or twice a week for the last few months.
It's worth noting that ever since the party right up to the present moment, Emily and Kath have not been interacting at all, avoiding each other in their apartment, only messaging for things like bill payments.
The first time I planned to go stay round Emily’s place was early/mid-February. When I mention this to Tom, he tells me that Kath has been having a really bad time mentally since the party, and the thought of me and Emily being there together triggers her anxiety. He asks me not to go over to their apartment for the next couple of weeks or so while she’s in this particularly bad phase. I don’t really understand what me going over and seeing Emily has to do with Kath’s anxiety (and Tom says he doesn't really understand it either himself), but I say okay fine it’s not that big of deal, I won’t go over for the time being.
Now, a valid question for myself is why I decided to keep seeing Emily, despite knowing that Kath had fallen out with her and therefore knowing it could potentially cause fiction between me and Tom. I don’t think I did anything wrong for several reasons:
· I suppose there’s the general visceral reaction against being told what to do. Like mind your own business, it’s not my fault Kath decided to get involved in my business. Why should she get what she wants when she’s the one being unreasonable? Why should we deny ourselves the opportunity of getting to know someone we seem to vibe with just because Tom’s girlfriend doesn’t like it?
· Before I even knew there was any issue at all, it was already too late; I had already gotten with Emily, they had already fallen out, and Kath already thought I was a dickhead. So what good would it do now to not see each other? Kath already didn’t like me (and she had also previously told me that once she doesn’t like someone, there’s no going back, they’re finished in her mind).
· In the initial first few days after the party, both me and Tom were kind of expecting that Kath’s reaction would blow over in a few days after she had cooled down. How could I have predicted that her reaction would instead continue getting increasingly intense as the situation went on?
· Frankly, I was annoyed at Tom at this point. He knew how Kath had reacted to me messaging Emily, so why did he just bend over and enable his girlfriends’ controlling, unreasonable behavior without question? If it was my girlfriend acting like this generally, I’d be like “why are you getting involved in their business, just let them do what they want?”, and especially so if it was directly affecting one of my close friends.
· Fundamentally, there’s no inherent reason why there had to be any issue at all? Okay Kath has ended her friendship with Emily and might not like that we’re seeing each other, but there’s no need for there to be any continued drama. Obviously we won’t all be hanging out as a four having fun like I had initially hoped, but that doesn’t mean we can’t just exist as adults and be civil? The only reason this continues to be an issue in the first place is because Kath is making it an issue for everyone else involved.
· Finally, I actually like Emily – from the first few days it was clear it wasn’t just going to be a FWB situation. If it felt like more of a superficial FWB situation, then yeah I probably would have just thought it’s not worth the drama, even though I thought Kath was the one in the wrong.
Late February
Over the month of February, me and Emily keep hanging out and getting closer. Whilst I was keeping a very close eye on her for any sign of character flaws (it was still possible that Kath could be in the right, even though her side of it didn’t make much sense to me), the more I got to know her, the more it seemed my initial judgment of her was accurate. I saw how she acted with her other friends, they all seemed to really value and appreciate her. I saw her helping out her friend in need of a fairly large amount of money without a second thought, I saw her going to accompany her friend for a medical scan they had, and generally she was really nice and thoughtful with me. Not exactly the behavior of an inconsiderate person.
Sometime in late February, Emily messages me completely baffled. She couldn’t believe that Kath had invited over a girl from their social circle, Dianne. The reason why this is a bit scandalous is because Kath is always talking shit about Dianne behind her back. And it’s not just “she can be a bit annoying sometimes”, it’s an explicit sentiment of how much she dislikes her, how much of a bad person she is and how much she wants her removed from her life. And she does this frequently, I barely speak to Kath and even I’ve heard her rant about how much she doesn’t like Dianne. So, she’s constantly saying this kind of stuff behind her back, and here she is now inviting her round for tea acting all friendly. I just found that so two-faced and this inevitably shaped my perception of Kath being deceptive.
Not long after I heard about this, Kath was round our place over the weekend. Me, Tom and Kath were heading off to our friend’s housewarming party later that day, with me driving us. At one point when the three of us are all in the kitchen, Kath speaks to me properly for the first time since the party, basically to clear the air. She says she doesn’t want there to be any bad blood between us and that her problem wasn’t with me, it was with Emily. I just say that I was cool with her, I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable with me or when coming over to our apartment, and that the situation between her and Emily was between them and not my business.
I wasn’t entirely convinced with her “clearing the air”, given that I had seen she apparently has no issue with being two-faced, but at the time I thought it was best to stay cool with her for the sake of me and Tom’s friendship and also I didn’t particularly fancy spending the rest of the day and a long car ride with awkward vibes.
End of February
At the end of February, Tom asks me how things are going with Emily and basically advises caution with her. He says that from what he’s seen she’s basically not a good person and she’s generally inconsiderate. I tell him I find that surprising from what I’ve seen of Emily, but I know it’s possible she could have just been putting on a front for the last month. I openly accept this, saying “I want to hear what you have to say, obviously you’re my friend and I respect your opinion”.
Essentially, he doesn’t bring up anything that I hadn’t already been told.
When I question Tom on why Kath thought she was a mind reader and assuming what my intentions were with Emily at the very start of this whole thing, Tom reveals he had since found out that the real reason Kath had forbidden Emily from getting with me in the first place actually wasn’t really to do with me recently breaking up with my girlfriend/using Emily as a rebound (Tom said this was a minor part of the reason, more of an excuse to base it on). It was more that Kath already knew beforehand that she wanted to end her friendship with Emily and was essentially trying to prevent her still being part of her life (i.e. by getting close to her boyfriend’s friend/flatmate).
Now it all made sense why Kath tried to “ban” her from getting with me in the first place. I’m not sure if Tom thought telling me this would make me more sympathetic to Kath’s side of it, but if anything, this deceptive behavior was even more of a red flag to me. As far as everyone (except for Kath) was concerned, her and Emily were best friends. Kath had even said to Emily a couple of weeks before the party that “she was like a sister to her”.
Tom didn’t seem to have much issue with this, saying something along the lines of “yeah I know she shouldn’t have kept all this stuff bottled up, but she doesn’t like confrontation, it makes her really anxious”.
After learning this, I think any argument for Emily being in the wrong for disobeying Kath’s instructions at the party is automatically void: Imagine having the audacity to be like “yeah I know I tried to control you by framing it as me being a protective friend looking out for you, but actually it was really because I wanted to end my friendship with you anyway teehee 😊”. In my view that is just so manipulative. No wonder the reason given to Emily for not getting with me made no sense to her.
When I revealed this to Emily, she said that she had been suspecting that was the case anyway, but it still really hurt to hear it confirmed.
Form her perspective it was like: “So was Kath holding all these grudges all the times I was consoling her for whatever mental health issue she was having at any given time?” (I wonder if Tom was thinking what a bad person Emily was when it was him and Emily staying up till stupid o’clock trying to console Kath who was crying about job applications a few weeks before all this kicked off). There are many other examples of things she had done for Kath in both the recent and more distant past.
Kath also knew that Emily’s best friend had killed herself a few years prior, and after going through the loss of her best friend, Emily had always said she was super hesitant to call anyone her “best friend”. Kath knew about this and still let Emily believe they were best friends, whilst she clearly didn’t really mean it, which I think is quite cruel of her.
Despite what I had seen of Emily so far, I still took what Tom said into account, and continued to watch her carefully.
Mid March
Another couple of weeks pass and given that my last interaction with Kath was her clearing the air with me, I thought everything was now cool between us. I mention to Tom at the start of the week that I’m planning to stay at their apartment later that week and he says “okay cool”. However, later that same evening, he once again asks me not to go over to their apartment. Apparently when he told Kath that I was going over, she started having a panic attack at the thought of me going there.
At this point I’m really started to get frustrated at this situation and again I try to understand exactly what the problem is, because this entire time Kath and Tom have been coming and going to either apartment as they please, so Kath clearly doesn’t have a problem coming to my apartment while I’m there. Tom again says that he doesn’t fully understand it himself, and that Kath doesn’t want to feel this way either, but she’s in a really bad place at the moment and me being there with Emily is really triggering her anxiety.
This makes no sense to me or Emily, because we obviously wouldn’t do anything to make Kath uncomfortable, and from our perspective this is just enabling her dysfunctional way of dealing with this situation.
Even though I still don’t understand what the fuck me seeing Emily has got to do with Kath’s mental health, I’m obviously not going to barge my way into someone’s home when I’m not welcome. So once again, I do as I’m told and say I won’t go over. But I do tell Tom that this situation isn’t going to continue going on like this indefinitely, and to me it feels to me like I’m being walked all over, in the sense of “oh yeah no worries, you two carry on going to either apartment as you please, I’ll just sit here like a dickhead and follow my instructions, don’t worry about it 😊”. He does say sorry and that he knows it’s inconvenient for us, but it's an even bigger inconvenience for Kath.
It’s worth bearing in mind that at this point, I could have responded to this situation by saying that if I’m not welcome at her apartment, Kath is not welcome here (or equally Emily could say to Kath “you can’t bring Tom round”). Whilst yes, it’s a bit petty, I think this would be a completely justified response to prevent a situation where we are being walked all over. Because what would be the alternative? They just carry on doing as they please indefinitely whilst Emily is told she isn’t allowed to have equal use of her own apartment? Now obviously telling your friend that his girlfriend isn’t allowed to come over is really a last resort and would definitely put a big dent in our friendship, and generally I have no desire to control what anyone else does, so of course I didn’t respond in this way.
Despite my frustration at this entire situation, I do feel bad for Tom because I can see how uncomfortable he seems during these conversations with me, he obviously doesn’t want to give me these unreasonable instructions. I can only assume he’s just trying to do whatever he can to keep his girlfriend afloat and prevent her next meltdown. I’ve been there myself dealing with a girlfriend with mental health issues, so I don’t want to actively make things worse for my friend either. However, I’m also worried that it’s likely to get worse for him the more he feeds into it and gets sucked into it.
At this point, the cynical side of me couldn’t help but wonder if Kath was being a bit manipulative and leaning into all the mental health stuff to maintain control of the situation.
· She seemingly is unable to give a reason for exactly why me and Emily being in her apartment makes her so uncomfortable. To me, this was completely indistinguishable from her just hating the fact that we’re together.
· All this reminds me of exactly the same kind of manipulative behavior I saw with that ex-girlfriend.
· She’s shown she has no problem with being intentionally deceptive – maybe if the entire basis of this situation hadn’t started off with Kath being manipulative she would have a bit more credibility in my eyes.
I know this kind of behavior is often not even intentional, and that it can be subconscious where the person doesn’t even realise they’re being manipulative.
(Still Mid March)
Now we get to the part that pisses me off the most in this whole situation. Only a few days after that conversation with Tom, for some reason Kath comes to stay in our apartment for the weekend while Tom was away at a house party. As in, it’s just me and Kath in my apartment.
Personally, I couldn’t imagine having the nerve to say to someone they aren’t welcome in my home because their presence triggers me, and then only a mere few days later actively choosing to go stay the weekend at their place while it’s just us two in the apartment. Like either my presence triggers you or it doesn’t?
Now to be fair, Tom had asked me a week or two beforehand if Kath could come to our apartment to hang out with someone from our friend group while he was away, and I said that was cool. Anyway, those plans fell through, but Kath still came over by herself.
But the main thing that pissed me off about this is that Tom, after knowing that I was already feeling like I was being taken for a mug in this situation, apparently didn’t even think it was worth bothering to check with me if it was still cool with me that Kath came round, given our conversation a few days prior.
If he’d at least checked in like, “I know it’s a bit weird that she’s coming to stay round by herself after having just said that your presence triggers her anxiety”, I still would’ve said okay, because I have no desire to control what anyone does. But it was just the fact he didn’t seem to care, saying “btw Kath is gonna stay here tonight” moments before leaving to his party.
To me it felt like he had spent the last month or so basically giving me instructions to make sure everyone caters to his girlfriend’s feelings, and yet didn’t give the slightest consideration to how this would make me feel. Part of me was thinking does he even see me as a friend or just as an inconvenience to his relationship at this point?
I spoke to Tom in the week following this, expressing how I had felt about Kath staying round. He did apologise and acknowledged he could’ve checked in with me, but he didn’t really seem to understand why her coming over like that was such a kick in the teeth for me. He said Kath doesn’t have a problem with me, it’s only a very specific situation that triggers her (i.e. me and Emily being in her apartment together).
Again I try to understand exactly why it’s a problem. Ever since the party, Emily’s presence in their apartment has consisted of her quietly staying in her room, quickly cooking her food and going straight back to her room. She doesn’t spend 2 hours in the kitchen making food like Kath and Tom sometimes do when he’s there.
Tom again says he doesn’t fully understand it himself. From what he understands, it’s triggering because her home is her safe space and if we’re both there it’s like there’s two hostile presences in that safe space. He reiterated that she is in a very dark place at the moment, and that she’s been having frequent panic attacks and suicidal thoughts.
Tom then says that Kath would be prepared to leave the apartment if me and Emily wanted to meet there, and Kath would basically get out of the way and come to me and Tom’s apartment instead. This did give me a bit more confidence that Kath wasn’t just purposefully making things difficult.
If Kath genuinely meant this, then of course that’s really appreciated, but I’m obviously not going to make her leave her own home and come all the way to ours to then have a 2 hour commute to her work. It’s so over the top and needless. I think that this clearly isn’t a functional solution going forward. What if one day when we want to meet up, Kath has had a long day at work and doesn’t feel like leaving her apartment (obviously, fair enough!), what if she’s got plans with friends in her apartment that evening? In any case, it’s still a situation where rules are being imposed on us, I can never just spontaneously decide to go see Emily one day after work or something. We still can’t come and go freely in the same way they have been doing for the past two months. It would be much better to understand why exactly it’s such a problem and see how we’re going to find a long-term solution, instead of Kath just running away from it.
The cynical side of me was wondering if Kath was just saying this knowing that neither me or Emily are realistically going to make her leave her own home, and if we do agree to it, then she can say “oh look how inconsiderate they are, making me leave my own home just so that they can be in the apartment”, ensuring that she keeps Tom firmly on her side.
Logically, I would’ve thought as time goes on, Kath would eventually get used to the situation and just accept it. Conversely, is it not quite understandable that the longer we have rules imposed on us, the more frustrated we become?
Once again say that I won’t go over and tell him that I won’t press this issue for the time being.
Late April
So now we get to the latest development in the situation, which is the crux of this post.
For the next month or so after that conversation with Tom, me and Emily have just been following our instructions and not pressed anything, whilst they continue coming and going as they please. One weekend we’re talking about the whole ‘Kath situation’ and we say “okay we’ve left it for a while now, it’s probably time to see how we’re going to move forward with this”.
In that next week, Emily sends Kath the following message:
“Hey, I appreciate this message might be uncomfortable but we need to discuss the fact that Jake can’t come here while you’re at home because I know that him and Tom have spoken about this but we’ve never addressed it with each other and I think it’s unfair that they’ve been largely absorbing this conflict this whole time. Can you please tell me what the exact problem would be and how we could make it work? At the end of the day we both pay equal rent here and I should be allowed to bring someone over, especially considering that Tom comes here whenever you want. We’re nothing more than just 2 housemates now and if you were living with a stranger from Spareroom such restrictions couldn’t have existed. I think I’ve let it slide and should have addressed it earlier, but it’s time we come up with a fair solution and I’d like to know if there’s anything reasonable we can do. I don’t want to go into other conversations about our fallout cause that’s done and dusted now, I want to strictly address this issue. Would you like some notice before he comes? I can’t always guarantee how far in advance I can let you know but I will do my best to give you enough time.”
Kath’s response:
“hey, I do not really appreciate this conversation being brought up 2 days before my birthday and I wish we can settle it today and not drag it on. And I do not appreciate you using Tom as a weapon to guilt trip me either. Please let me know if he is coming over tonight so that I can go somewhere else. As u probably already know I am in a really bad place at the moment and being in the apartment with both of you makes me feel very uncomfortable and unsafe. I’m already struggling to be there and I have been discussing with the agency about terminating the contract early, the terms have only been made clear to me today so I was going to message you about it. By paying a fee of £660 (£330 each) we can terminate the contract 12^th of June and I wish u will consider this. I will be gone from the apartment for 2 weeks. I would really appreciate it if you do not bring him over in the next few days as I said it will be my birthday and I will be gone for 2 weeks after if you decide to do so after this, please let me know at least 2 days in advance so that I can leave (pack clothes and everything), but do not take advantage of this as it is extremely difficult for me to commute to work – it takes me 2 hours on the bus”
Emily’s response to this:
“I don’t appreciate you using your birthday as a “weapon” to paint me as an inconsiderate person once again as you’re saying you were going to message me anyway about terminating the contract. You always have Tom round without any notice, without ever considering if it was ever uncomfortable for me given what’s happened - but now you expect me to organise our schedule around you? We can’t ever do something spontaneous or simply make plans the day before? Jake won’t be coming tonight or in the next few days until you’re away. I was hoping we could talk about why exactly this makes you uncomfortable and unsafe as it’s quite clear we wouldn’t interact with you or do anything to purposely upset/annoy you. You also had no problem being in his apartment with him without Tom there, so clearly his presence must not be that big of a problem. I am going to get back to you about terminating the contract as I have to figure out where I would go, but I’d love nothing more than to leave this apartment as early as possible too.”
There was no response after Emily’s second message.
Tom comes back to our apartment the next day and ignores me all day until the evening when he asks “Did you know that Emily was going to send those messages?”.
I say “Yes, obviously?”. He responds with “Right, okay” and starts walking back towards his room.
I ask him what was wrong with the messages, and he comes back and says “what the fuck is Emily doing sending messages like that to my suicidal girlfriend?”. He essentially thought the tone of the messages, the proximity to Kath’s birthday and the fact that we’re once again bringing up this issue of me coming round was out of order. He also said that Emily’s 2^nd message was implying that she was just going to bring me round without any notice anyway (looking at the message, no it wasn’t? It was just highlighting the unfairness of Kath expecting us to organise our schedule around her? None of the messages say that I’m going to come over, they are essentially just trying to understand exactly why it makes Kath uncomfortable).
We also did note that it was Kath’s birthday on the Friday (messages were sent on Tuesday). Maybe that wasn’t ideal, but we thought what real difference does it make? This is nothing new, it’s the same situation that’s been ongoing for the last 3 months anyway (and personally, I thought that up until the moment Kath says “okay sorry, I shouldn’t have imposed rules on you” then she shouldn’t expect that this won’t be brought up to her?).
I was a bit shocked at how angry he was and explained that we’re just trying to understand exactly what her issue is, because it still doesn’t make any sense to us. I bring up the general point about Kath imposing rules on people and expects everyone to cater to her feelings, whilst zero consideration has been given to how Emily has felt over the last 3 months, when not only does it make her uncomfortable as well that there are two “hostile presences” in her home, but especially given that those hostile presences have told her she’s not allowed to have equal use of her apartment she also pays rent for.
Tom responds with “but it’s not making Emily feel suicidal is it? Kath was having convulsions on the fucking bed last night after those messages. Why do you keep focusing on this tiny issue of coming to the apartment when my girlfriend is literally suicidal? She’s already said she’d make arrangements to leave the apartment for when you want to come over, and yet you keep pressing the issue and triggering her further”.
In that moment I was a bit taken aback and didn’t have much of a response. I kind of just sat and processed that for a few minutes, thinking “fuck, have I actually been in the wrong this whole time?”. Tom looked exhausted and stressed out, he must have been dealing with Kath’s meltdown the whole of the night before.
I say to Tom “tell Kath not to worry about me coming over while she’s there, I’m not going to, I’ll just leave it for good and won’t press this issue anymore”. Tom doesn’t give much of a response, but I think he says “I appreciate it”. He leaves for his two-week holiday shortly after.
I felt really bad that evening, thinking I had caused Tom to have to deal with whatever horrible meltdown because of me pressing this issue. Maybe I had been overly cynical of Kath, and she genuinely was just trying her best and not meaning to be manipulative.
When Tom got back from his holiday, he basically confirmed our friendship is over because I had known about those messages that caused his girlfriend to feel suicidal.
I’ve thought about the situation a lot since he left for his holiday:
· Looking back at the messages Emily sent, I think the tone is completely fine? Every single person I’ve shown the messages to has said they are actually quite kind and empathetic, and way nicer than they need to be given Kath’s behavior over the last 3 months.
· Tom’s reaction was essentially “how dare Emily have the audacity to ask for a reason why she hasn’t been allowed to have equal use of her own apartment for the last 3 months!”
· It’s true that Tom had mentioned that Kath had been having some suicidal thoughts a month prior, but I didn’t know that this would directly impact that, especially since I thought the message was quite nice and sensitive. Just the weekend before this Tom and Kath were out clubbing, having fun and they were going on holiday later that week. So obviously I didn’t realise she was still feeling so bad. How could anyone expect that simply asking the question of “why does this make you so uncomfortable” would result in this reaction.
· As soon as I did realise how intensely Kath had reacted, and what Tom had had to deal with as a result, I backed off straight away, saying that she doesn’t have to worry, I’m not going to press it anymore.
· Realistically, if this is how Kath reacts to being asked for basic fairness, then I think really she needs to be in a mental health crisis centre or hospital, not just carrying on with everyday life as if everything is fine, and certainly not in a situation where she’s imposing rules on people.
· At the end of the day, Kath’s mental health is not my responsibility, nor is it Tom’s responsibility. I think it’s unfair of Kath to have made it his problem to such a large degree.
Logically, I don’t think I’m in the wrong, and yet Tom’s reaction to this makes me feel like I’m going crazy. That’s why I wrote out everything’s that’s happened from start to finish to “audit” myself and evaluate each of my actions throughout the entire situation. I’ve looked back and don’t think I’m in the wrong for anything I’ve done. The only explanation I can think of is that Tom has been so deep in all of Kath’s mental health stuff 24/7 that he’s just not thinking clearly about this situation.

I'm in a little pickle and can't decide which route to take. I'll try my best to simply this.
I'm currently with a mid-sized CPA firm with the eventual opportunity to buy a minority stake (5%) in the firm. I've been with this firm ever since getting out of college and think of them as a second family. I've also known most of the partners my entire life. The issue is, I'm unsure what the timeline is on when I might become a partner. I've discussed it with our current managing partner and thought I would be able to buy in a couple of years ago, but the firm with through a partnership change with a couple of the original partners, and was told that we'd discuss it after that dust settled.
Recently, I was (unsolicitedly) offered a position as a controller for a local company, thanks to a friend of mine. There are no other candidates for that position and it comes with compensation that would almost double what I'm currently making.
My issue is I love my current job, but if I were granted the opportunity to buy into the partnership, I would have to take a loan out to do so which means I wouldn't see a massive change in my pay until a few years down the road when that loan had been paid off. However, I do know that I would have the opportunity to eventually own more than just 5% (possibly upwards to 15-20%). Also, I would have the advantage of job security with holding an equity position in the firm. But with the controller position, I would immediately be paid substantially more.
I do plan on talking with our current partners to tell them about my surprise offer as I would strongly believe they would make a counter offer. But, I'm not sure what that counter offer might be, assuming they do try to make one.
What would you do in my situation?

*If anyone takes the time to read and would like to share, feel free to repost and accept the credit, I don't have enough karma to share anywhere else relevant and could care less. All I ask is that you repost it in full and not cherry pick the information you agree or disagree with or whatever will get the most karma. I would like to avoid exactly what I'm describing in the post below. If any claims I make turn out to be false, I'll update and eat my words.*
(I obscured celebrity and influencer names to prevent fans from seeing the post and flagging it)
I saw someone posted an interview with (O *rlando Brow *n) from the channel Real life street Stars and wanted to put out a little PSA for this community. The channel has recently been growing in subscribers because of a 2020 interview with a 90's R&B artist named (J -aguar W r:ight ), who claims to have suffered abuse of all types that she during her time in the industry, and claims she was blacklisted for fighting back. Now she claims she's been on a mission for the last 20 years to bring down the vast networks of famous sex criminals she has firsthand knowledge of. In her first two interviews she speaks pretty eloquently and drops a lot of facts about the industry. Enough to get people sucked in. You'll see in her latest interviews the lady is clearly struggling heavily with some serious mental health and rumored substance issues.
I truly have empathy for her and (O rland,o B row-n,) because they are obvious examples of the Hollywood machine chewing up celebrities, especially with mental illness, and spitting them out. Both of them have publicly struggled for years, and around 2020, were both homeless and started doing YouTube interviews with obscure content creators where they were paid next to nothing to share their traumas with their viewers and creators who use these traumas to form false narratives and clickbait video titles that either are completely false or that are buried in an 8 hour live stream containing a thirty second audio clip that was stolen and reposted from another exploitative content creator's interview. Not only is it taking money out of their pockets, but also monetizing off their trauma, stealing their content and viewers, and harming their credibility even further due to them being blatantly false or misleading the viewers into thinking their all day live stream talking about the aforementioned video and accompanied by a slideshow is the primary source. One thing I've learned is most people will believe or immediately dismiss most information without even trying to read it. If you choose to go down this rabbit hole you should definitely start with their Insta pages and check out the last couple months. Without people majorly censoring and heavily editing their content, you can tell that they are doing this intentionally to hide the fact they are exploiting trauma survivors for petty cash. If you're still not wary, start with their latest interviews they're both total shit shows. Recently with the (Di +ddy stuff and Ka;tt William ,s) interview going viral, the channel "real life street stars" has blown up. Even more so in the last couple weeks with all the K- Anon stuff attracting people to their channels. If you choose to go down the rabbit hole I just beg you to please research ANY claims from ANY content creator and find a source before sharing. A lot of the time they are spitting celebrity fan fiction juxtaposed with occasional pieces of truth and (Jagua /r Wri /ght) was pretty damn convincing until about a year ago.
A lot of people get sucked in with ( Jag !uar W !right's ) first two interviews because she clearly had them prepared for a long time and was reading from a script. Now she's just exploiting the algorithm and spamming clickbait interviews with the craziest titles possible, thus contributing to the same exploitation she claims to be fighting against. This is not to say all her claims are bullshit, both most are recycled 90s and early 2000's gossip that is new to Gen z mixed with any breaking celebrity news or gossip that is big in the media. To make her stories sound more legit she'll Forrest Gump her way into every story and leading people into believing she was a big time celebrity, but these interviews and her instragram scamming are what she's most known for. The last interview she claims to have taken a boat to Epstein Island where she rescued two young girls who were trafficked and then talks about the Dark Web, "Red Rooms," that are pretty well known to be internet myths because if they were real they'd be invite only and require blackmail to access so no one is gonna talk about it even if they do exist. It amazed how many videos popped up overnight repeating her claims as facts and spreading the virus of media manipulation. If you're still thinking, "Hey, you never know!" She also claims these snuf. f videos and videos of celebrity orgies sell for 500 million dollars, which would be enough to build a whole chain of your own red rooms or throw your own Hollywood sex parties and join the fun. I know some people will probably still be curious, but just watch her 2020 interview the rest are trash, also anything with (O r.lando B,rown) is recycled lies mixed with more lies, with a couple buzzwords he's probably required to say so they can add trending topics to their video tags and get a lascivious title.
Another recent example of blatant manipulation is all the shit with (D j A ^kademics) the past couple days. His court records have been public for months with a vivid description of him and two friends drugging and raping a girl that was obviously premeditated and not his first rodeo. He is also now being sued for defamation because he pretty much told his fans she was drunk and asking for it then regretted it later and went on to say he didn't even know she was at the house until the next morning and blamed it on his friends. Meanwhile the court documents clearly show a rap with an e kit being administered and them finding his spermicide which was the same type found in the r word kit. They also describe video evidence of his two friends doing the same thing while she was unconscious, but he screenshotted a section and posted it in his defense saying clearly she was down. There are also identical allegations to the ones made against (D-rake) stating he has a history of hitting up sixteen year olds and grooming them until they turn eighteen and repeated history of similar drug related s. crimes. It took one post on his twitter and his fans started harassing the poor girl for months. The same thing happened to the lady who was a victim of (N$icki Min _aj's) husband who was doxxed by her fans for not dropping the charges. The next day AK was acting like it was all gravy and if anything gained even more followers. This is a brilliant example of why (Dra! ke's) line about being too famous to be a predator is so stupid. Almost as stupid as blatantly defaming the woman who appears to have more the enough evidence to beat him in a civil suit. Which is almost as stupid as he pretended to be during the (e- bony kin g) livestream where he was obviously ignoring the thousands of comments mentioning anything related to sexual crimes, while talking shit on the guy who successfully blackmailed his handler even after possibly being blackmailed himself on the same stream. This stupidity can only be surpassed by the millions of fans who are still watching his content instead of the news and continue regurgitating the lies of someone so fucking stupid who is most likely a s offender. These are the same ones who automatically dismissed the rumors and instantly believed the dog in the kennel story, the same who believed his alibi, and the same people who are the reason most survivors don't come forward and choose not to accept inconvenient truths right in front of their eyes.
Interestingly enough the portal.njcourts.gov site containing A.k's full court documents were offline for hours last night and a certain sight has banned reposting it for fear of doxxing, another great way to quell any dissent amongst the the ranks. Server's crashing often happens when there is a huge influx of web traffic or a site has been a victim of a DDOS attack, which is just an artificial version of the former that uses bots instead of people. I could talk forever about how fucked things are, but this is simply the world we live in. I really want to drive home the point that in order for any movement to retain credibility, everyone needs to stop sharing any type of info unless they're from a verified, reputable source and define the difference between facts and your opinions as clearly as possible. A couple million hits on youtube, twitter memes and tiktoks, and gossip blogs with broad information being deciphered by mostly idiots don't count as credible. Most of these influencers and blogs have been bought and paid for years ago and usually are biased toward certain celebrities based on the perception of whoever's sharing or whoever pays them the most. For a while now rumors have been circulating of influencers doing shady shit in Dubai for the ultra wealthy. Lot's of ties were made to Dra .ke, but have very little supporting evidence. The blind items containing the rumors also made it so anyone could decode the clues, and as soon as these posts made it on to the Kendric kl amar the moderator crew began the "conspiracy," crackdown. It took one mention of q-anon and the majority of the community jumped ship out of fear of association because "Q-anon bad, they're all scizophrenic." Overnight theories that once had been consensus were completely dismissed after being deemed conspiratorial. A couple of days later, the were forced to place a blanket ban on anything them deem, "conspiracies," regardless of it's validity due to their inability to moderate the amount of incoming posts which are almost always spammed at least ten times a day for the next week. This is the exact thing that was done with q, anon and pizzagat, e stuff back in the day. They'd find the nuttiest people to use as an example so they could paint the whole movement in the same light, then dismissed all related information, and completely censored any discussion on most major platforms. I don't subscribe to either, but they were undeniably on to something. The problem was the disinformation campaigns and general stupidity. One was quashed almost overnight because a crazy guy shot into the front window of a pizza shop and it somehow hit their computer and obliterate their hard drive containing possible evidence. The lessons is truth in every lie and it's not hard to find if you know where to look, it's what you do with it that defines who you are as a person. Some people can't handle the truth because it conflict's with their world view and those who do usually suffer because of it. If everyone does their part though, no one would have to die a martyr in its pursuit.
I've noticed a recent pattern of influencers proliferating the spread of false information especially in relation to any sa allegations. This trend really took off when (Kat -t Will/iams's) interview went viral and helped to revitalize his career and reputation. Since then many copycats have come out of the woodworks, hoping to cash in on the trend. Some other common media suppression trends and manipulation tactics to watch out for are synthetic smear campaigns dedicated to destroying the credibility of anyone with alternative beliefs, and it's gotten exponentially worse throughout the years. A great example is all the shit (Y,e). had to deal with through the years, even prior to his antisemitic remarks and all the other famous people who spoke up about their industries and were silenced. (D av+e Chapp? elle) used to talk a lot about the tactics used to humiliate and destroy many influential black men who dared to challenge the system. Another case that's similar to Ak's is the (T/or y La^ne z and M ,egan T (hee Stallio, n) trial. If you look at the court records, it's obvious the shooting was part of a larger altercation. He still might have shot her, but she at the least totally lied her ass off about the actual story to avoid incriminating friends while ensuring they could hit him with a ten year sentence. Not long after (Me ..gan THE" E S !tallion) won three Grammy's and was voted woman of the year, then disappeared off the face of the earth until her manager sued her a couple weeks ago for having sex in front of him and threatening his job over it. There are countless other celebrities and influencers who are clearly wiling to say anything for money, and those who aren't usually have some blackmail on them. There is such an abundance of glaringly obvious disinformation campaigns in the media and most are accepted as gospel without question or are suppressed if they reveal too much, raise too many questions, or start to sway public opinion. Another very common example of this phenomena is the mass release of information that paints a positive image of the celebrity while containing the same buzzwords related to controversies they don't want popping up on anywhere near the top of Google. This keeps any relevant information limited to the most recent AI generated bullshit that plays the algorithm game the best. While doing my investigation, it was unbelievably difficult finding any relevant information from before 2020, and often had to use Duckduckgo to filter out any articles written after 2023. Even then every search engine required extremely specific search terms, which would often still provide me with the exact same results. It got so bad I considered switching to Yandex.
Recently all the things I've discussed have seemingly been kicked into overdrive, especially over the last few weeks. This leads me to believe that a lot more is going down behind the scenes than most realize. I believe the day will come soon when everyone who actively fought to dismiss peoples opinions out of ignorance will be forced to accept these truths whether they like it or not I was a victim myself last week when I shared a detailed, neutral commentary on a rap feud and was shadow banned from a popular subreddit and ignored by it's moderators. This same subreddit is currently deleting any and all information related to the subject I covered. This is why I wanted to raise awareness if this doesn't get suppressed as well. Karma requirements and shadow bans that can sometimes circumvent the use of Vpn's on all connect devices, lead me to believe Reddit as a whole may also be at least partially compromised.
Chances are the same people who promote biased garbage and obvious lies are the same ones who will scroll right past any post containing more then three sentences and the ones who spread any lie they are told without question and accept everything at face value. My personal favorites are the ones who don't read past the title and clog up the comments while obscuring valuable information because they want the spark note version. This is all by design. They are the sheep the government count on to help them consolidate their wealth and power. More and more people are waking every day though. I encourage anyone new to conspiracies to really keep all this in mind going forward, especially with the proliferation of AI powered disinformation bots that dominate your front pages and control the majority of content. If you want to fight against this and keep your freedom of speech, this is a call to arms. To anyone who values the truth, the powers that be will do anything they can to try to censor any public dissidence. Remain steady in your search for truth, and learn how to effectively help other join you in lifting the veil. Stay strong in your convictions and don't allow other's to moderate your options, your beliefs, or your truth.
Thanks for Reading
-The Original Random Moniker

I(20F) have been feeling lately like I've never had a real friend. Everyone's moving on with their lives, but I feel stuck in my city, especially when even my friends who stay here have new friends and have new lives in their uni.
The other day, I went to my friend's home,it was her birthday but she kept me waiting for two hours, which made me feel humiliated, I was about to cry but kept myself controlled. She came to the city after a few months and brought her new friend here..the friend was ok...but I realised how my best friend was now closer with this new person whom I barely know but this new girl knows everything about me..it was quite a surreal feeling to experience in a bad way..
Don't get me wrong I have a new uni and new life too but the problem is my uni is a shithole of a place where everyone is a conservative, a sexist, racist or a drug addict there's litreally no in between...or they're just bad people.
Atleast once in my life I want to stop feeling that I am always the one making plans and being there for others, but I don't feel like anyone cares about me as much as I care about them. I just want a friend who's as excited to spend time with me as I am with them, as excited to take cute pictures and post them as I am, as excited to make elaborate plans as I am...I am so envious on how life just happens and happens good to some people whereas no matter how hard I try I'm still back to square one..I want someone who takes the initiative I'm tired of the being the one always taking that first step.
It's tiring always giving and not getting much back. I wonder if I'm just not good at making friends or if I let people walk all over me. Either way, I'm tired of feeling like this and just want a real connection.
Sometimes I just wonder if I am cursed.. truly...

L,
I know that based on my first attempt to apologize and the emotionally involved letter I wrote, there seems to be no longer any space between us.
I didn’t handle my panic or strong emotions with the maturity they required. Apart from not being ready to buy a home and expressing that I didn’t want to break up, the other things I said about my concerns of depression and commitment were driven by intense emotions. Looking back, I understand how my words deflated you and left you feeling unsupported. I was trying to express my fears poorly, and it never meant that I wanted our relationship or the future we had planned to be a full stop. I needed more time before making such a huge decision, and the pressure got to me. I felt I owed you an answer immediately, and not everything was genuinely expressed.
I regret sending the letter I wrote. I had written many and decided against sending them, but this one was sent out of an inflated ego and strong emotions. I was hurt by the language you used, and instead of de-escalating the tension, I made things worse. I couldn't connect my emotions and rational brain.
In hindsight, I needed a moment to pause, to give my fear and panic space, and then release them to keep moving forward. I didn't take that pause or allow the space. I was coming to you for reassurance without even knowing it.
Every day, my chest feels like it will burst, knowing that I was reactive with my fear, anxiety, and panic. I did my best to manage it but fell short.
It’s clear that I need more time to work on emotional regulation and communication. I’d like to ask for forgiveness, and I hope that any connection we might still have can stay as an ember that, with some air and fuel, can once again turn into a flame we both feed. Despite my poor attempts, I have been trying to fight for us.
You said you’re at peace without me and that you settled on the idea of dating me. Is that true?
E

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Are you struggling with melasma and searching for the most effective melasma treatment in Borivali? Look no further than B.A.E Skin Clinic. Our specialized approach combines advanced technology, expert dermatologists, and personalized care to help you achieve clear, radiant skin.

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2. Chemical Peels: Chemical peels involve applying a solution to the skin that exfoliates and removes dead skin cells. This treatment helps in reducing pigmentation and improving skin texture. We offer various types of peels depending on your skin’s sensitivity and condition.
   
3. Topical Treatments: Our dermatologists may prescribe specialized topical creams containing ingredients like hydroquinone, tretinoin, or corticosteroids. These medications help in lightening the dark patches and preventing further pigmentation.
   
4. Microneedling: This minimally invasive procedure stimulates collagen production and enhances the absorption of topical treatments, resulting in improved skin texture and tone.
   
5. Combination Therapy: Often, a combination of treatments yields the best results. Our experts will design a comprehensive treatment plan that may include a mix of the above therapies to effectively combat melasma.
   

Patient-Centric Care

At B.A.E Skin Clinic, patient comfort and satisfaction are our top priorities. From the moment you walk through our doors, you will experience a warm, welcoming environment and compassionate care. Our team is dedicated to answering your questions, addressing your concerns, and ensuring you feel confident throughout your treatment journey.

Book Your Consultation Today

Don’t let melasma hold you back. Discover the most effective melasma treatment in Borivali, Mumbai at B.A.E Skin Clinic. Book your consultation today at +91 86573 55999 and take the first step towards clear, beautiful skin. Our friendly staff is ready to assist you and provide all the information you need to get started.
Visit B.A.E Skin Clinic – where expert care meets exceptional results. Let us help you reveal your best skin! For more information visit us at https://baeskinclinic.com/

I just recently bought the Virtuoso RGB Wireless XT for my PC. This is my second pair because I thought I had a faulty headset. Randomly, the audio for this headset will seem to disconnect and reconnect immediately. I looked up some trouble shooting steps and this what I have done so far.
-Tried several USB ports. Tried my 2 3.0 ports on the front and various USB ports on the back of the PC and same issue

• I do not have an external hard drive connected at all
• I am connected via ethernet and my router is near my PC
• I do have a wireless mice connected to the back

-Tried the typical Corsair Reset of the headset

• Went to the power options > change plan settings on the one selected (Balanced) > USB Selective suspending is disabled
• Went to my device manager > universal serial bus controllers > and made sure all my ports had unchecked the option "allow the computer to turn off this device to save power"
• Windows and all my drivers for the corsair software is up to date

Anyone else got any advice on what else I can try? I really like this headset and do not wanna go back to wired but I may have to at this point.

Disclaimer: English is not first langauge, if you detect any grammatic error, you may ignore it.

1. Backgroung of My Misfurtune.

I started dating this young lady, that I've known for several years in 2020. When I say I've known her before we started a relationship, I'm talking about knowing her from a distance not on a personal level. My judgement of her was based solely on how I perceived her from a distance. She seemed like a collected and well mannered young lady. That is what exactly attracted me to her at the first place, her beautiful personality so I thought. Only If I knew that I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life that would completely ruin and change my life as I knew it.
Months in our relationship, I came to the realisation that the girl was far from what I thought she was. It turned out she was a pathological lier, blackmailer, and very slow intellectually. Exactly the type of girl that I would not date under any circumstances. In order not to waste our time, I started to plan my exit way out of the relationship without hurting her feelings. I reduced the number of times that I would call her and I stopped inviting her to my place. One day I told her the truth, that I'm no longer interested in the relationship, and it's better we end the relationship since we have been only dating for a few months. And at first she was okey with it, we parted ways.

1. Things Get Interesting

After being away from her for a month, I received a sms saying that she is pregnant. At first I did not believe her, so I had to call her to do a pregnant test in person and it was positive. She was pregnant. I had my paternity doubts but I accepted the pregnancy and I told her that I will support the baby and support her during pregnancy but I made myself clear that I did not want a romantic relationship with her. I had paternity doubts because this is the girl that I had sex with only 5 times. Four was with condoms, and one was unprotected sex but we used withdrawal method.

1. Things Got Worse

I dont know whether I made a mistake by promising to support her during pregnancy but she took it as if we are back in a romantic relationship. She would demand attention from me, and she would fight girls that people saw me hanging out with. Things were getting out of control to the point that I was led into depression. The drama that she created became the talk of the neighbourhood and this was very embarrasing to me because I held a highly respected job in the community.

1. The Blackmail

She started threatening me with ruining my life, saying stuff like either she have me or nobody will have me. I dismissed most of her threats and atributed it to mood swings of a pregnant woman, and I must admit that I was so foolish for dismissing her threats. I shoud've have taken her threat seriously, the earlier the better.

1. Getting fired from work

One day at work right after morning breafing, the management called me in their office to have a word with me. I knew the management call you in only if you are getting promoted, transfered, served with a warning for misconduct or get fired. I was curious, why the management wanted to talk to me. I entered the office and I was told that my ex girlfriend had reported me at work for sexually abusing her, and to protect the image of the company they would investigate these sexually allegations leveled against me by my ex.
Some of my co-workers and managers did not like me at all, and the opportunity that they had been waiting for to destroy me has finally presented itself. Also, later along the line, I was informed by one of the manager who was my friend that, it was one of his collegue who told my ex that if she want to hurt me really bad, she should lay false sexual harrassment allegations against me at work.

1. A Kangaroo Hearing

The girl was not present at the hearing, It was only me, a 29 year old man against a panel of powerful managers and directors. I was told that they don't care whether the allegations are true or false, unfortunately they have no choice but to fire me in order to protect the reputation of the company. The hearing lasted 1 hour, and I was told to leave their work premises. This was September 2020 during the height of pandemic. I packed my bags, and bid farewell to my teary co workers who knew I was innocent.

1. Shame and Stigma

Here I was, unemployed at 29 during the pandemic, with a tag of sex offender on my neck. I was confused and lost. How would I tell my friends who held me in high regard? How would I tell my mother who spent so much on my education both high school and university? How would the young men in my family who look up to me react? Where can I go from now onwards? Luckly enough neither my friends nor family judged me because they know the type of a person I am.

1. Poverty and Recovery

When I lost my job, I literally lost everything. My house and car was repossed, I was literally stripped of everything. I would had been homeless had I not have a supporting family. My married brother had pity on me, and he invited me to stay with him. I was so ashamed of myself being taken care of by another man at age 29 knowing very well that months ago, I was an independent man and I had my life together. I was ashamed finding myself, sleeping on a matress. I was very shamed of myself that I could not even afford basic stuffs like toiletries. I leaped into depression, withdrew from friends, stayed indoor for 24 hours. I contempleted and attempted suicide several times. I lost weight, and I was ashamed and scared to meet people who knew how I was looking before I lost my job because my body was very emanciated. I looked as if I had been in a hospital for a year.
In the midst of my hopelessness and depression, I kept praying to God to come at my rescue. In 2022 things started getting better for me. Through a friend, we started a business which is doing fine, eventhough we are not yet where we want to be. And should everything go according to the plan, next year we plan to extend our opperation to other cities. I can see that God has answeared my prayers, and I must say the future look bright. I've gained weight, started going to the gym and Im starting to regain everything that I lost in 2020.

1. What About My Son?

The problem I have is I truly hate this girl with every fibre of my being. Just by the thought of her my mood instantly change. I cant see myself co-parenting with her, after all what she put me through. And if I happen to die, I cant stand the thought of my son sharing his inheritance from me with his mother. I have moved on but I haven't forgiven her, and I dont think I will ever forgive her. It is by God's grace that Im still alive today, because only a few can bounce back from the hell that I have been to.
Can I move on and completely close that door to start another family, or should I stay with my son and co-parent with the devil? I need advice from fellow men.
I would read comments.

Sometimes when I'm on it I will text people (usually girls) and be very selacious with them. It's almost like a drunk text but not. I don't get in trouble for it but it could evolve into a problem. Does anyone else have impulse control issues when on the medication?