Boyfriend facebook sayings

Hello, I'm 24 M, and I am stuck in life and don't know how to move forward.
There is a lot of relevant backstory so sorry in advance for the book.
My father passed away when I was 3. I grew up without any quality father figure to look up to and teach me how to be a man for my family. I grew up poor and had a terrible home life riddled with abuse and hard times. Despite that, I would say I didn't turn out that bad, despite my circumstances. I have 5 siblings, of which I am the second oldest, but I usually just consider myself the oldest because my older brother is not mentally there and hasn't been for over a decade. My mother got married when I was around 17, but she just divorced my step-dad out of the blue last month and forced him out of the house. I live with my mother, younger sister, her boyfriend, youngest brother, and older brother. Around 2 months ago my older brother with some form of BPD or schizoaffective disorder started having another episode and forced his way into our house, sleeping in my room on my couch, under the guise of "us needing his help with bills" even though he doesn't pay for anything and all his money disappears as soon as he gets it. Ever since my mother divorced and my step father was forced out of the house, it has been mostly on my younger sister and I to cover the cost of everything, as we are the only ones who work. My mother has been really nasty with us, especially towards my sister and her boyfriend. My sister has been taking it badly and has gotten depressed. I have been keeping a stoic attitude and face in these trying times, and being a pillar for my younger siblings, but it is hard because there is no one for me to lean on and vent to; hence why I am here. I am stuck in a job that I can barely afford to live off of. Most days I barely eat because between paying the bills/mortgage and the cost of food now a days I can't afford it. When I do it isn't real food, mainly just ramen or some sort of frozen food. I need a car to find better employment and to escape, but can't afford to save to buy one and my bank wont give me a loan for one, because of that specific reason. My older brother is constantly having delusions and paranoia and is either constantly jumping down my throat or leaning on me for support. I mostly just go to work and let out all my emotion while there, thankfully I work overnights by myself so I don't have to worry about anyone seeing me. I don't know what to do. I was forced to grow up quick. I have always put myself last before my whole family, I sacrificed my childhood from a really early age to make sure my younger siblings had one, and in turn I now have nothing. I taught myself everything a father figure should have taught me and try to teach it to my little brother. I never had any time to develop any desirable skillset that makes me exceptionally employable. No connections or family figures that can help teach me or get a foot in the door anywhere.
I want to start my own family eventually so badly, but I have basically just became complacent with the fact that I would never amount to anything a long time ago, and I will be damned if I raise a child to be stuck in a similar or same situation I am in now. I want to move out, because I crave independence but between helping provide for my family, fearing what will happen to them if I leave and not having a very good job, it is pretty impossible. I know this is stuff that I should be telling a therapist or a life coach and not a subreddit, and I would if I could afford it, lmao.
Is there any life advice anyone that was raised in similar circumstances as me wish they knew around my age? Any advice or recomendations on how to get myself out of this hole and into a better situation would be greatly appreciated.

So me(22f) and the guy I’m seeing (22M) we’ve been seeing eachother for a few weeks now, he is coming to stay at my house for the whole weekend this weekend. His birthday is on Monday and I want to do something special. I’ve got him a birthday present and have ordered some balloons that spell out happy birthday. I’m going to get him a card, not a boyfriend card just one that says happy birthday. And going to grab a couple of other little bits for him. Am I doing too much to early? We both really like eachother and I don’t want to scare him off. He knows I’ve got him a present but doesn’t know about the ballon’s and stuff. It’s gonna be a surprise….thankyou :)

I(26F) am in a polyamorous relationship with my partner (22F). We’ve been together for about 6 months now. She lived in Korea for a year and that’s how we got together, and now she went back to the US. Because of me being in Korea, and her America, we decided to get married for visa reason. That would be easier for us to not be separated longer and have prolonged long distance relationship. I agreed to it, she agreed to it, and now I’m preparing the process to move to America. So here comes my worries. I’m quitting my current job, my future career that is kind of easier for me to plan for than in the US, my family and my friends, not solely because of her since I wanted to live abroad but also for stepping the step, a big chunk because of her. I had a boyfriend of 5 years and have broken up to be with her too. (She’s not aware I did this though I just did it because my ex was not open to polyamorous relationship) She’s the first woman I’ve ever slept with and been in relationship with. Also, I’ve never been in polyamorous relationship before, (it’s her first too) even though I do have polyamorous ideologies and was and am open to the idea of polyamory. It was through her that I first knew and experienced about this concept thoroughly, and have kind of thrown into a throuple situation too. I was aware of the situation and in my mind was okay with it. However, whenever she tells me about the girls that she “gets” or had sex with or just won’t stop talking about them and the details about sex they had, I can’t help but feel like she’s trying to brag about her other partners, and I can’t tell her intentions of telling it to me. Sometimes I wonder if she enjoys seeing me being uncomfortable or jealous and hurt, and it gets me upset. Maybe she just wants to talk about things openly, maybe she has sadist tendencies who knows. But I just have this vibe that she’s flaunting about it (e.g. “She told me I make her feel like a highschool girly”) she does have a playboy vibe, and maybe it’s just that Idk. Anyways, we have talked about it before that I don’t want to know much about her other partners, that seeing it in-person or hearing about it in details gets me uncomfortable, but whenever she gets with a girl she wants to talk about it. I just want to know the essential minimum, who is it and when they’re meeting. That’s it. I added another boundary today, being that when we finally live together, I don’t think I want her to bring other girls into our apartment. She can do whatever she wants outside, out of sight, but I don’t want her in sight with other people. I don’t think I can handle that far. She heard the boundaries and have respected partially, but also added that she would want to bring other people when I’m not at home. My point for telling her this boundary was that I want something at least sacred for just us. I also told her before that for me she is the primary partner, even if there are other people that I’m with. Emotionally. And it’s true. But I don’t think it is for her. Or that we have different type of polyamory. For me, I’d like to have a primary partner, which is her, and then comes other partners. We have signed the paperwork and we are legally married through proxy marriage. Now that we’re married, I can’t help but feel unsure and a little anxious about my future. A little more now than before when we were just dating. Even if it’s just a paperwork for me to be together. What if I go there, and she just finds someone that she wants to spend more time with and have deeper connection with than me, which it kind of feels like she already have someone in mind that she wants to do that in the future, and throw me off from the “primary partner position”. I’m going to feel like I’m stranded. She’s going to feel like I’m caging her or sth, but I would rly have no one there as I’m just moved in to a completely different country. I sound such a monogamous person but I do love the idea of having other partners. I have a few that I’m seeing rn as well. They are all wonderful people. Im just having a hard time finding the balance of respecting what she wants and what I want. She is a loving, caring person, and I love her a lot. But it just feels so unstable for me to move. I think I’m torn everyday feeling sure and unsure like on a seesaw. Knowing her and loving her I want to move right away, and also thinking of all the risks, I feel like I should pull away to protect myself. I feel like she’s going to want to keep push the limits. Adding another risk, if I petition for a marriage visa, and during the process if I get divorced, I won’t be able to sign for any type of marriage visa anymore. Also, if we get divorced after the visa goes through and I’m the US, I can’t get remarried for another 2-5 years, depending on when the divorce happens. Im not saying I’m expecting a divorce, but considering it’s a polyamorous relationship, and considering my emotional rollercoaster, I feel like anything could happen. I don’t know what to do or what to feel at the moment, but primarily I’m torn between moving to the US, or just stay in Korea cause if it happens, it has to happen within a month. Sorry that it’s long and kind of everywhere, but this keeps me up at night these days and I needed to make decisions quick so I thought I should ask it here. Thank you for reading my long story!

Wade took a breath as he picked up his old duffel bag, now loaded with his DD uniform and a few other items from the Ceres mines as he slotted it to his side, with the large band handle around his neck. Having gathered his belongings, he joined Tina, who was waiting near the ship's open bay door as he walked over to her. The couple watched several of the other troopers inside marching out as well, some carrying crates of supplies and items out of the craft as they departed for the base outside. Kelly was one of the last ones still on board, checking on a section of the cargo bay as she did what Wade presumed was some maintenance work.
With the way now clear, Wade and Tina stepped off the transport, glancing at the massive base around them as they touched the roughened pavement. Throughout the large landing port were several more chameleon dropships, their crews disembarking with similar items and loads of rescued drones aboard. Beyond the ships were several hangar bays and fighter craft, mostly A-20s and their space-borne cousins docked in lines going across the pad. And beyond the landing zone, towering over several buildings at the base, were the few cruisers docked to the large clamps holding them in place.
Walking ahead with Tina, Wade observed some of the departing Coalition troops as they neared one of several tents stationed near an inactive group of planes, the military personnel interacting and exchanging the crates with the Coalition officers upon reaching each other. Hearing a low roar of engines from afar, the lover drones looked upward to see the large USN warship that was present at the factory earlier, having followed the transport convoy home and now was beginning to descend for landing. Wade gave a silent gasp as he caught a glimpse of the ship's name and SIC number at the side, remembering it from the ship he and Ron saw while returning to Earth.
"Always a wondrous thing to see, isn't it Wade?" Tina said as she and her boyfriend watched the ship slowly come lower to the unoccupied dockyard clamps below it.
"Sure is, wonder how they built those babies?" Wade replied as the two looked upon the landing starship, the former worker drone smirking as he added, "I could've swore I saw that same exact ship over Henderson when Ron and I came back, before we got mugged earlier."
Tina glanced to Wade with surprise as she spoke up on his claim. "Really? Well, that had to be the one that helped our friends here back at the factory. I think I saw the same name on it too!"
"Wouldn't surprise me, seeing all that's happened today." Wade replied as he chortled a bit, Tina doing the same as the former spoke further. "I wonder, what kind of ship is the... Vickers again? You know?"
"Autumn class, dear. A heavy destroyer variant, not as strong as those enormous Yamato dreadnoughts or Adelaide battlecruisers, but she'll put up a good fight for whatever comes at her." Tina explained as she held back another chuckle, thinking of her education on various USN craft as she teased Wade lightly. "You know, I may just have to grab one of those ship roster tabs when we get in the base. I'd love to show you all they got in their arsenal."
Wade chortled again as he gave his thoughts on the idea. "Well, it wouldn't be bad to have a little more knowledge in ship-story."
Tina almost burst out laughing at his crude pun, Wade smiling at her as F and Nathan jogged over to the two, the latter carrying his own backpack behind him as he spoke. "Well, not a bad place, huh? You guys heading to the clearance station?"
"Oh yes, we were just admiring the ships around us while we walked." Tina said with a stifled laugh, easing herself as she chatted with her new friends. Wade, however, was quickly overcome with panic as he remembered something. Checking his pockets, his fears were confirmed as he failed to find one of his key possessions: his ID card. Wade felt he must have lost it when he was stripped of his old clothing while in the factory.
Oh no, guys? I don't think I can pass through." Wade said with greenish-yellow circles for eyes as Tina and the others looked to him in concern, the drone feeling through his pockets once more before stating his issue. "My ID, they must've taken it off me when they turned me into a disassembly drone!" Wade began to hyperventilate lightly as he grew fearful of the potential outcomes when they reached the security gate ahead. "Oouuugghh, if I don't have my ID, they'll have to keep me lo-"
"Wade, Wade... it's okay. I'll have them make a pass for you, surely we can get them to after getting them to understand what's happened." Tina stated as she put her hand to Wade's chest, who eased his panic as he looked to his girlfriend.
"Yeah, and besides Wade, those people over there went around gathering what ever items the company stole from the drones during their conversion. I'm sure that once they find it, they'll have it sent off to be given back to you!" Nathan said as F nodded in agreement, shunting Wade's panic out of him with their words as he replied to the hopeful responses.
"Right, yeah, they should do that. Sorry." Holding Tina's hand, Wade spoke to her once more. "Lead the way."
Tina nodded to Wade before the two began to walk over to the security gate nearby, several people, drones and humans alike, already in the line as they checked themselves in to the base to relax after the hard-fought battle. Once they reached the line, the four stood together as they waited for the line to slowly go up, more troops and rescued drones coming over to add to the long line. During the wait, a loud, mechanical 'SLAM' erupted through the air, prompting Wade and Tina to glance over to the direction of the noise. The two felt at ease once more as they saw the Vickers finally landed at the base, the loud clang being the docking clamps attaching to the ships hull just moments ago.
As the line moved up further to the gate, Wade and Tina caught sight of a pair of A-20 aircraft passing over them, the two watching as the planes slowed down while descending onto the runway nearby. The four drones' collective viewing of the fighters landing ceased as they caught sight of J, who took flight as she departed the transport nearby before flying over to the tents near the hangar bays.
"Huh, wonder what she's over there for?" Nathan said as he observed J landing onto the ground in front of one of the tents.
"Probably checking on the drones we got back, or meeting up with one of those commanders there." F said as she motioned an arm towards the tents, J walking under one as she made her way to one of the soldiers coming over to her. "Seems like the latter, from the looks of it."
Wade shrugged as he responded to the group's pondering over J's actions. "Well, she'll be here with us if we need her, right? Shouldn't be much to worry about."
Returning their focus to the line ahead, Wade and his team waited as the line moved up over the next few minutes, moving impressively fast as the people in front cleared themselves in one at a time. Eventually, the four of them were up, Tina stepping up to show her ID for clearance. "Hello, it's been a busy day, hasn't it?"
The security agent smirked at Tina's small-talk. "Hah, not too busy here until you all showed up."
As the guard finished scanning Tina's ID, she handed the card back to her as she raised a finger to begin her request. "Oh, um, there's a little issue we need to resolve." Putting a hand to Wade's arm, Tina explained her boyfriend. "This is my dear friend Wade, Wade Carter. We both managed to escape that blasted factory with the help of those Coalition folks there." Wade gave a pleading look as Tina continued. "Unfortunately, Wade was converted into a disassembly drone before he was rescued, and it seems those people at the company took all his belongings he had on him, including his ID. Do you think there's... anyway you could write up something to let him by?"
Stepping forward, F gave her end of the story. "I can vouch for him, Ma'am. Wade and I we're among the teams helping in getting the worker drones out of the factory during the operation." The disassembly drone pulled out a pair of cards as she finished her explanation, one of them being her company-issued Disassembly Service Passcard, which resembled a normal civilian ID in appearance, save for the 'JCJenson (In Spaaace!) Logo on the top left and hazard markings around the rim of the card. As for the other card, it was a well worn, still legitimate ID card, showing F as how she appeared when she was a worker drone. At the side of her picture was a name with an initial. "FELICITY A LEE"
Taking the two cards in her hand, she looked them over and scanned them as Nathan tried to back Wade up as well. "So can I, Ma'am! I helped there too, when he was under the company's control. We all got him out of the factory so we could get him back in order." Pulling out his own ID, Nathan handed it out as the guard returned F's IDs to her.
The guard accepted Nathan's ID as she spoke over what to do with Wade. "Well, normally it takes clearance from higher ranked personnel here to allow someone inside without a legitimate form of identification. We can't just take someone's word on things like this, after all." Tina seemed to frown in disappointment as the guard explained her protocols, Wade looking down at the ground as he felt his worries were about to be proven correct. Going over Nathan's ID further, she gave an intrigued expression at the card before continuing. "Huh, interesting. Got two veteran folks here, I see?" She glanced to Nathan and F as she said that, taking into account their former military background as the former spoke up.
"Three, actually. My pal Kurtis is somewhere back there, I think. He should be heading down here later this evening." The guard glanced back at Nathan's ID as she took in the veteran drone's reply, sighing as she decided to make a slight amendment to the issue put before her and the four friends.
"Well, seeing you two here, I believe I can write something up. The Major won't be happy with me for this, but I think I can trust you with appropriate behavior." Taking a small sticky name-tag, the woman pulled out a pen before starting to write on it. Initially, she glanced to Wade, who stated his name again before she began to write his name on the tag. Once she was finished, the guard gave the tag to Wade, who slapped it onto his jacket before she spoke to him. "You should be fine to enter for the most part, just stick close to your friends and don't cause any trouble. Understood?"
Wade gave a stern salute to the security officer, who held back a chuckle at the honest, yet amusing effort the disassembly drone showed to her. Giving a simple nod and a flick of her hand, she permitted Wade and his friends entrance to the base, the four walking past the walkway barricades as they made their way past the gate.
Wade let out a heavy sigh of relief as he thanked his allies. "I owe you both so much for this, thanks!"
"Don't mention it, Wade." F said warmly as she and Nathan laughed at his joyful face.
"Yeah, just doing what any good friend should." Nathan said as Tina wrapped an arm around Wade, holding him tightly as the two walked together.
Looking to his girlfriend, Wade spoke to Tina about what to do next. "Well, since we're in, you wanna go fi-" He ceased his words as he remembered that there was someone else they needed to find amongst the base. "Oh, I almost forgot about her,"
"Jasmine!" Tina and Wade said aloud together as the former remembered her sister, Wade's words snapping her mind to Jasmine in an instant. "We should look for her, you think she might be here somewhere?"
"Probably. If they got Ron after they captured me, they have to 've picked her up too." Wade stated, Nathan raising a hand as he offered to help.
"I could go looking for her! You know what she looks like?" Readying a holo-projector, he tried to display an image of Jasmine from one of his many memories of her. The picture was, while pixelated and under a blue hue, incredibly well-detailed. And for Nathan, that was all he needed to see to note Jasmine's appearance in his memory. Nodding, he spoke again to his friends. "Got it! I'll see if she's around!" Then, turning to run down one of the paths leading to a nearby base facility, he stopped as he asked one more question. "Oh! One more thing, you got a smartcomm on ya, Wade?"
Readying one from his holo-projector hand, he nodded as he spoke into it. "Seems so, though I don't seem to have all my contacts added in."
Running back over, Nathan pulled out his own smartcomm before putting it up against Wade's hand one, allowing the two devices to exchange information. Upon the devices beeping, Wade and Nathan nodded to each other, the former ignoring a pop-up that stated, "New Contact Added" while the latter spoke once more. "Okay, I'll call you once I spot her!" With that, he began running down the path once more, intent on finding Tina's sister at the base, wherever she could be.
"Fowley! Her last name's Fowley!" Tina said aloud to the departing Nathan, hoping he heard her words before turning away from the miner drone and facing Wade and F again.
As Tina sighed in partial relief, Wade put his own arm around her before asking the question he tried to ask before. "So, uh, with that out of the way for now... You wanna go look for one of those ship tabs?"
Putting a hand to Wade's chest, Tina smiled as she replied. "Oh, certainly." Then, as the three began walking down a different path that Nathan hadn't taken, the pilot drone continued with a chuckle. "I hear they have a place here that sells model kits too!"
...
Jasmine sat in silent sorrow as she took another gulp of her glass of Proxi-Vodka, a tasty, but heavy alcoholic beverage produced at the colony of Proxima 2... and one of Jasmine's preferred drinks to have when she wasn't in a good mood. When she awoke after being stunned by the station guards, she found that she was just recovered by a group that called themselves the 'United Earth Coalition', and that her drone friend, Tina, was unfortunately taken by the JCJenson corporation to be turned into one of their horrid disassembly drones. While the people that saved her offered to help her find Tina, so far there had been no luck in doing so. No successful calls, no response from Wade nor Ron, nothing.
The whole situation widdled at her like scrapes to her form, slowly draining any bit of hope that she had in finding her sister. And once the mission at that factory was over, the ship began heading back to the Nellis Base to escort the recovered drones back to a safe area. Unfortunately for Jasmine, Tina's presence was not given confirmation. Alone, she walked off to one of the bars down at the base, specifically Drexler's Cantina, one of the more popular bars down at the military starport. Thankfully, though she didn't openly exhibit feelings of wanting to be alone in her wallowing, she was glad the place was nearly barren of patrons, with only a few at a couple of tables within the bar.
The stage at the back of the bar also had a few singer drones performing aloud, the lead singer girl reciting the words of a quiet, yet exciting song that, instrumentally, consisted of a strange mix of bass, techno, and a hint of opera. The song itself was one Jasmine had heard a good many times before in her life, known as, 'You Complete My World' by a decades old Earth band by the name of HeartStar. The song, as Jasmine and many others who'd heard it interpreted it, was about someone who described their world like a puzzle, and that the one whom the main singer cared for beyond all was the only thing that could keep their world from shattering into ruin before them.
An oddly fitting tune, given what had just happened on the JCJ Central earlier. For all Jasmine knew, Tina was either alive beyond her knowledge, hopefully searching for her wherever she could, or, the answer Jasmine feared... Dead.
Not wanting to even consider the thought, the human pilot took another swig of the colonial Vodka, relishing in its taste before forcing herself to swallow, almost gagging from the strength of the drink. Easing herself, she glanced out to one of the windows of the bar, taking the faint glimpse of night into her eyes. Then, looking to the clock at the wall ahead of her, she saw the time was about a little over an hour to 10 pm. Jasmine gave a sigh to herself, certain she would be alone for the rest of the night.
Unbeknownst to her, however, Jasmine had been spied upon a little while ago. Nathan, in his search for the woman Tina called Jasmine Fowley, had spotted a woman matching the physical appearance of the target. Knowing Jasmine wouldn't know who he was if he tried to talk to her himself, Nathan immediately went looking for Wade, easing his return to his team by calling the former worker drone and signaling him about his findings.
Deciding to check on the news, Jasmine slowly pulled out her smartcomm, resisting her urge to press the contacts button as she tapped the news app. Looking through it, she spotted a recent story that was posted just over an hour ago, titled, "JCJenson 'Recall' effort sabotaged by joint Government/Militia forces! The Truth Exposed!" Above the article was a video, a play button in front of it teasing Jasmine. Curious over this sudden development, she pressed the button, her attention in complete focus on the video as it began to play.
After the news station's logo appeared on-screen for a short few seconds, the current host for the story, Mrs. Tiffany Joy, appeared at her seat before beginning the story. "Good evening, this is Nevada-78, I'm your host, Tiffany Joy. Tonight, we start with a rapid development for the 'drone recall' incidents propagated by the business conglomerate JCJenson In Space. Throughout the afternoon up to now, several advanced factories under the ownership of the corporation have fallen under violent assault by various militarized forces, ranging from official United Nations operatives to private militia groups with varying goals." The small screen to Joy's left shifted to show the state of Nevada, zooming into it to show a portion of the Mojave desert as Joy continued her story.
"Among these facilities, one such factory based right here in southern Nevada has recently succumbed to the successful efforts of the USN Defense Force and a group by the name of the United Earth Coalition, an alliance consisting of humans and automatons working to create a unified world for both species." The screen shifted again to show the logo for the UEC, which appeared as one half of a human head outline and another of a drone's, along with two arms behind the heads belonging to both beings pictured. "With the attack having concluded just hours ago, we have reporters gathering at the New Nellis Staryards near Henderson City to bring you the aftermath of the conflict. We go to Mr. Jelico, on the scene in five."
The camera shifted after the countdown of five to show Mr. Jelico in front of the camera, the cameraman filming a large tent housing several worker drones being tended to by the base soldiers. "Alright, Jelico here, we're on station at New Nellis. What you're all seeing here are some of the recovered worker drones, many of them were pretty spooked by the events that unfolded in that factory earlier." As the camera panned over the lot of drones, some of them looked to the camera, curious at the news crew filming them as Jelico continued. "A few of them are real glad to be here, Joy. Seems like they feel safe here, as far as I can tell."
As the camera moved to show Jelico again, a plane could be seen taking off as he spoke. "Yeah, these people did them quite a service. The staff here are working to find their original owners and families, it'll probably be a little bit before they can get them all home." The camera switched once again to another view of the base, the lights of various buildings illuminating the night as the news story continued.
At the entrance, Nathan pushed open the door to the bar, the chime failing to catch anyone's attention as he, Wade, F and Tina stepped inside. Carefully pointing at Jasmine, he whispered to Tina, "That's her, from the looks of it. She's been here for a good minute!"
Taking another drink of the Proxi-Vodka, Jasmine listened further to the story. "The authorities didn't just recover a majority of the worker drones taken into the factory, however. A recent update provided by Mrs. Yuka, shows her interviewing a disassembly drone who claims to be among the unfortunate drones the assault force failed to save before their conversion."
"Jasmine!" Tina called out, the voice instantly grabbing the woman's attention as she paused the news story. Swiftly turning her head, her heart began pounding with immense excitement as she saw her drone sister, who grinned upon seeing her face.
"Tina!" Jasmine said aloud, somewhat weakly from her previous wallowing as she tried to run over to her sister, landing on her knees as the two embraced in a flush of emotions. Wade and his friends stood behind the two girls as they hugged each other, clinging onto one another as tightly as they could give. Jasmine seemed to erupt with a pained cough as she allowed some of her sorrow out of her heart, Tina carressing her back in a comforting manner as she held back her own tears. The sisters held the hug for a long moment, not daring to let go of one another for fear of losing each other again. Eventually, however, they did, the two sisters taking heavy breaths as Jasmine spoke up while wiping her face. "I thought I'd lost you."
"Can't say I didn't feel the same way, love." Tina replied as she broke out in light laughter, glancing to Wade before continuing. "But, fortunately, those Coalition boys helped out quite a bit. Though, not as much as my knight in his new armor."
Standing herself up, Jasmine took Tina's helping hand as she looked to the one her sister spoke of. A grateful smile formed on Jasmine's face as she saw Wade, standing in front of her and Tina as he returned the expression. Looking upon her family friend, Jasmine noticed something... different about Wade. He was taller now, his arms were shaped like white cones rather than the silver bendy tubes he and Tina normally had. As for his face, his pure green eyes were replaced with a set of greenish-yellow ones, and above his forehead was a band holding five yellow bulbs that she didn't know the function of.
While the pieces started to click together in her head, Jasmine took Wade's held out hand as she spoke to him. "Wade, I'm so glad to see you! You look different, too. Did something... happen to you?" She already guessed it by this point, but feigned confusion as she opted to hear Wade's take on the matter.
"Yeah, I hope you don't mind your sister dating a vampire from now on." Tina chortled in amusement at Wade's comment at himself, Jasmine raising an eyebrow in confusion at the former worker drone as he returned his expression to a more sincere smile. "The company got me too, and unlike the workers we got out... they managed to turn me into a disassembly drone. From now on, I'm gonna need to take in more oil than I usually did before I was turned. My cooling system's not as good as it should be, from what I've heard." Pulling out his two full canteens, Wade finished his partial explanation. "Don't worry, though. I've got some to keep me down."
Jasmine took in the news with immense surprise, noticing the hazard stripes at the rims of Wade's arms as she replied to her friend. "Oh... Well, if Tina's fine with it, then I see no problem with that, Wade." Admittedly, she was a bit unnerved by the change, concerned for both him and Tina's safety due to this supposed oil coolant issue. Trying to sound as nice as she could on the matter, Jasmine hesitantly asked Wade, "Though... I am a bit concerned with that bad cooling problem you mention. You... don't think you would-"
"Hurt Tina?!" Wade assumed, understanding Jasmine's concern as he gave a horrified glance to the two sisters. Standing with his fists to his hips, he gave his answer to Jasmine's presumed question. "Don't even say such a thing, Jasmine. I'd rather overheat than dare strike her."
Admittedly amused as well as concerned for Wade's selflessness, Tina chuckled at him before speaking up on the matter. "Now now, Wade. It won't be so bad. We'll manage."
Jasmine nodded as she agreed with her sister's optimistic view on the problem. "Indeed we will, we always do." Then, taking notice of the other two drones in the room, Jasmine smiled at them before speaking again. "Ah, I see you brought some friends too."
Wade and Tina glanced over to Nathan and F upon Jasmine's statement, the two friends smiling pleasantly as Wade spoke up. "Oh, yeah. These are some of my work buddies from Ceres, Jasmine. This is Nathan, I first met him when Ron and I came to the mines, showed us around a bit too." Putting a hand on F's shoulder, Wade introduced her too. "And this is Serial Designation F, or, just F. She was one of the guards keeping watch on the place while we worked."
F seemed to blush out of embarrassment as she remembered her and Wade's first meeting. "I... did come off a little rough on them when they first came in, though. Stopped Nathan's touring run too. Just following colony protocol."
Nathan patted F's back as he tried to ease F's guilt. "Oh, it's nothing F. We had to start work in a few minutes anyway. Besides, it's a bit more fun exploring the place yourself without a guide." He winked at the others as he finished his praise. "Trust me, it really is."
Wade, Tina and Jasmine all chuckled at their friend's amusing words, F joining in as she replied to Nathan's encouragement. "Alright, alright."
Walking up to the two, Tina put her hand onto Nathan's as she gave her own praises. "And they may not look like it, dear, but Nathan and F were both formerly in the military, from what Wade's told me."
Jasmine gave a proud smirk at the two as she responded to her sister's claim. "Well, that's quite something. Did she tell you we used to fly for them some years back?"
"Oh, she did, Mrs. Fowley." Nathan replied as he chuckled lightly, F giving a smile of her own as she added her own part to the story.
"Yeah, and given what's happening now, maybe they might call you back for service again. Wade told me you two were excellent pilots."
It was now Jasmine's turn to blush as she chuckled from the compliment, knowing Wade's high praise for her and her sister's flying as she replied. "Well, I can't say that's wrong, Tina saved the day during the flight back here. We ran into an asteroid cluster while in the middle of a jump."
Wade patted Tina on her back as he quietly cheered his love on. "That's what I'm talking about, she's a wonder among the stars, I'm telling you!"
The group fell into an excited fit of laughter at the conversation, a few of the bar patrons taking notice of the bunch as they eventually ceased their joyful moment.
As everyone calmed down, Jasmine spoke up, intending to bring the discussion to another place. "Well, with all that said, it feels great to see you all here. It was such a terrible day after all those company folk showed up." Then, as she scanned the group of friends around her, she noticed someone else missing from this puzzle. "Hey, uh... is Ron here? Did he head off somewhere?"
The mood was quickly put down to a mournful aura as Wade and Tina glanced to the floor in sadness, Nathan and F giving uncomfortable postures as they awaited for someone to speak up on the matter.
Eventually, Wade was the one to open his mouth, breathing steadily as he tried to speak to Jasmine. "Um, Jasmine? Things, uh... really took a nose dive after we got captured. You think we could find a place to sit? It's a lot to talk about."
Looking to the four drones with concern, Jasmine eased her returning fear as she nodded to Wade in agreement. "...Sure, there's plenty of space at the table here." Pointing her arm to the table, which was surrounded by a U-shaped seating bench, Wade and his friends began to move to the table as Tina spoke up.
"I can get us some drinks for the talk, you all want anything?"
"Just some oil, thanks. "Wade answered as F and Nathan gave their own nods to Tina, the drone girl walking over to the bartender near the stage as she went to purchase some beverages.
Sitting down, Jasmine picked up her smartcomm from the table, glancing to it as she spoke up on her half-finished drink. "Heh, and to think I was drowning myself in this drag of a drink before. Probably have to find a different glass."
"Proxi-Vodka? Haven't seen you touch that since we lost Aunt Susan." Wade said solemnly as he examined Jasmine's drink, sighing as he reluctantly continued. "Well, maybe it can go for a few more sips."
Looking to the vodka, Jasmine nodded as she put her smartcomm in her pocket. "I figured, I didn't think this was gonna sound good."
"I wish it did." Wade replied as Tina walked back to the table, a plate of three oil glasses resting on her careful hand as she set it down.
After delivering the drinks, Tina took a seat next to Wade, holding his hand as Jasmine spoke up. "So, where do we start this terrible story?"
Wade gulped a bit as he began to recount the events that transpired today. "Well, it all started when Ron and I came back from the mining colony."

Like the title says, I often think of my boyfriend getting it on with other guys.
Im the top and I daily think of him doing it with other tops.
Is it weird? Should I talk to him about it? Should we try? Im just confused.
Would it affect our relationship? I just want some opinions and maybe some thoughts on anyone else who has felt this way.

Good day , I’m new here and also mostly just reading and not posting. Sorry just need to talk it out somewhere and I have nowhere else to go 😅 Me fm;(30) and my boyfriend (29) we have been dating for 2 years now and everything looks good , just a couple of arguments from time to time ( nothing serious ) never went to bed angry ) I’m in general emotional person and sometimes when I face some problems I need to cry about it and just talk it out , and he is more quiet with expressing his emotions. But recently he has really small amount of patience for me , he get irritated quickly and about something small we get into arguments .
I also very stubborn and sometimes get into small argument with him but recently it’s just escalated quickly and I get all emotional and I guess trying to communicate the situation but he says it looks like I just scream it or something. And after every argument in the end I feel like it was my fault all the time cause I was too loud or didn’t agree on something. Or just tried to express my point of view wrongly.
But I always feel horrible after fights even if we make up and I feel like I did this all wrong and I’m this horrible person who always drives her boyfriend crazy. Addition to it I really love him and he is great and smart and I think very good person.
Just don’t know maybe I need to look at my behaviour more. Any advice or opinion would be welcome. Sorry for the long post.

My boyfriend was sick this weekend until Monday, so I didn't want to bother him too much by texting nonstop since he couldn't talk on the phone. However, last night after a nap, he told me that he feels great and went to the gym, but unfortunately, I fell asleep. About 30 minutes later, he sent me a picture of him at the gym, but I was still sleeping and didn't see it until 2 hours later when I woke up to pee. I gave a basic response because I was still feeling sleepy. He then replied, "you don't miss me 🥺 ?". I reassured him by saying, "babe, of course, I miss you like crazy. I just didn't want to overwhelm you when you're sick. Also, sometimes when I get too emotional, missing you becomes unbearable, so I try to distract myself." He responded, "I know what's in your heart, it's just that you haven't said you've missed me in a while." I explained, "I always tell you I love you because it says everything that I'm thinking. It means I love you, I miss you, I want you."

I have been with my gf for 2 years we had our ups and downs, but we really felt like we were meant for each other and planned to build a family together.
And for the context I sometimes was doubtful of her, but every time I’ve felt like that I would discover that I was just overthinking.
Last night, we had a conversation about our roommates and she told me that she felt that one of them was looking at her more than the others. I replied that as long as she doesn’t look back at him it was fine. Fast forward to today she was in the shower and I went through her phone because of our discussion about the roommate. I typed his name on IMessage, nothing… On Whatsapp, nothing as well. Then on Instagram I found out that they had a secret convo, I think it’s called ghost mode, where you can’t see the texts till you scroll down.
I didn’t even knew how it worked till I took the phone to her and asked her why does she has a secret convo with our roommate, she said that it was nothing and scrolled down to show the message.
I started reading and that mf was telling her that he’s attracted to her and to which she replied “Me Too” and other messages of him trying to go further, but she was replying stuff like “I might be flirting with you, but that’s it, nothing is gonna further, because I have a boyfriend. But if I was single why not, maybe someday”
It went like that for one or two weeks and then she stopped answering him. She defended herself by saying that it happened when we were having a fight and she thought we were gonna breakup. But the dates of the messages were after the fights
She eventually confessed that she did it another time on Tinder when we were having another fight. I feel betrayed and disrespected, I have decided to breakup with her.
I talked to the roommate and told him that he was a bch for doing that and he said sorry. But I feel like he’s not the one to blame after all…
I am writing this here to have advices on how to cope with the situation.
Sorry for the long post.
TL;DR: I found out my gf was flirting with our roommate on instagram and I want to break up with her

I (23M) have been dating my boyfriend Jake (22M) for a good 6 years now, so I'm well acquaintanced with his family. The girl woman I said this to was his sister, Amelia.
I was raised by a single mum who worked 2 jobs to support us. So I grew up doing a lot of housework and in her free-time, my mum taught me to cook. I like to think I'm pretty damn good at cooking, I cook for myself, for my boyfriend and sometimes his family. I have sensory issues and my boyfriend is allergic to a few things so I'm pretty good at finding work-arounds to accommodate people, including Amelia, so she's well aware that I can cook.
Anyway, she came over yesterday and sat down at the island(?) in the kitchen, I don't quite quite know how to describe it but basically she was on the other side, and I was in at the counter, back turned to her, making some lasagna. My specialty, so I turned around to ask if she would like something and she promptly burst out laughing. I was confused and she just kinda pointed at my apron. I was more confused, my apron was pretty normal, plain blue.
She then told me she'd never have thought I was the girl of the relationship. I assume this was a reference to my physicality, I'm pretty tall and do a lot of sports. I dithered, confused, and she 'explained' that I was cooking. I just continue staring, not quite sure what she meant. She then explained, as though I was a toddler, that cooking is for girls and the apron made me look like a 90s housewife.
The funny part about all of this is that Amelia CANNOT cook. I told her if cooking is for girls maybe she should go back to the kitchen so she could learn. I would be more than willing to teach her. She went red in the face and stormed off, calling me an asshole for saying that.
I went back to my cooking.
This morning quite a few of my friends have contacted me telling me I, of all people, should know better than to perpetuate gender stereotypes, and that Amelia was hurt by what I had said. Some of them agreed with me after hearing the context (which amelia did not tell them) but others said I did not need to sink to her level.
IMO, I thought that would show her how weird it was to perpetuate gender roles when she herself doesn't fit within them. But maybe I could have tried explaining first, AITA?
(Reposted from AmItheAsshole bc it got take down and a few people wanted updates)

I set a boundary with my mom - cancelled her access to my Facebook account. That was about 3 months ago. She is not speaking to me ever since. I still go to my parents house in the weekends and holidays to meet my dad, my sister and our dog. But every time it’s soooo hard. I go from feeling guilty, to angry, to sad. Sometimes I feel that she is probably so sad Because she is acting like it. But then I see her all happy, or angry with my dad and I realise she’s ok. Sometimes I see the way she speaks to my dad, and think about all the things she has done that I will never forgive her for. And I get so angry and hateful.
I don’t know if we will ever talk again. Her term is to be back on MY fb account and I won’t give her that. I just can’t believe she is ready to ignore me forever because of this stupid thing.
I don’t even know what I want to say. I guess just vent.

De La Salle-Dasmarinas, the Patriots need you.
That says it all, NCRAA title on the line. Takits sa Imus and WEAR GREEN!
PS-Rant: ang eng eng ng automods to take down the OG posts dahil sa All Caps bs rule. Pano pag Acronyms, take down din agad ba yun?

As a Gemini, I would say Scorpios by far! The conversations I have with Scorpios I’m close with are electric and so fascinating. My boyfriend is a Scorpio, and his mind is absolutely what attracts me to him the most- he’s so smart and curious and I always learn so much in our conversations. My dad is also a Scorpio and a brilliant biochemist, and we’ve always had great conversations (I’m a biochemist as well, though not nearly as brilliant as him). My sister’s fiance is a Scorpio too, and we get along well because we both love learning new things and sharing that information in our talks.Then, I feel that connection in general with other Geminis, Sagittariuses, and Pisceans (though, sadly, I didn’t have that kind of connection with my Pisces ex, who was a really smart guy but just not very talkative). My Pisces sister is one of the most intelligent people I’ve met, and once you get her talking about her research, it’s fascinating.

I’ve got a close friend who I’ve known for years. We both struggle from mental health issues but she struggles with addiction issues and other stuff. For the past month she’s called me up everyday to talk for over 4 hrs about the same “script” of her ex boyfriend who left her and how amazing he is and how horrible he is and I get about 5 mins of talk time. At first I felt bad for her because everyone cut her out of their lives but most recently I actually see why. Our last convo left me frustrated. I tried to talk to her about my frustrations of how our mutual friend has been upsetting me. I figured since she has also has had issues with this friend we could talk about that and share and vent on that topic. We were talking about the past and I relayed to her some tough criticism of how that friend doesn’t really want to get involved in listening to the boyfriend drama and all of a sudden she snapped and told me I was triggering her and she didn’t need to hear about it blah blah blah and back onto her talking about herself. I started crying because I just felt so unappreciated and realized she just wants to talk about her crap and seems to be using me to some degree. I recently am looking for a therapist now because she’s stressed and drained me and she’s in therapy yet still calls me up to ramble on. I don’t want to cut her out of my life but also can’t take this on anymore. As soon as I set my boundaries she almost reverses back on me that she’s setting the boundaries with what I say! I’m not sure if she’s got some sort of personality disorder but I’m dealing with my own stuff. Any advice would help. I feel lost and alone in this.

Hey there,
I hope you're all doing well. I'm reaching out for some advice and support, particularly from fellow females, regarding a challenging situation in my relationship.
My boyfriend and I are both in our early twenties, and we've been together for almost a year now. Our relationship has always been incredibly special to me - we've built a strong foundation of trust, communication, and love. We've always been there for each other, respecting boundaries and caring deeply about one another's well-being.
Recently, a month ago, my boyfriend's mom passed away, leaving him with the profound loss of both his parents. It's been an incredibly tough time for him, and understandably, he's been struggling. I've been doing everything I can to support him through this heartbreaking time. Whether it's suggesting outings with his friends to distract him, or taking him out, cooking his favorite meals, or just being there to listen when he needs to talk, I've been trying my best to ensure he feels loved and cared for. Additionally, we both have similar work, so I help him out with his work stuff so he could slack off and do other things he likes doing, like playing video games.
However, amidst all of this, I've found myself feeling a bit forgotten. Our time together has decreased significantly, and the energy and passion in our conversations seem to have shifted. I understand that grief can be all-consuming, and I empathize with the immense pain he's going through. But despite knowing all of this logically, I can't shake this feeling of loneliness and disconnect.
It's not that I doubt his love for me - he's reassured me countless times that he loves me just as much as he always has. But it's hard not to feel like I'm drifting away from him, like I'm somehow slipping through the cracks of his grief. I miss the closeness we used to share, and it's been weighing heavily on my heart.
I'll give you an example. We don't live together, so whenever we meet, on our way back, he'd text me a lot of cute stuff, including how pretty I looked and how lucky he is to have me, and just stuff like that. And he has stopped doing that, and my mind can't help but overthink that something's wrong with our relationship or that he doesn't love me anymore.
To add to this, a recent incident really threw me off. My boyfriend cracked a joke, and I told him it was uncool and made me feel weird. He got mad at me and said he'd stop cracking jokes altogether. I feel like I can't say anything or do anything without walking on eggshells. We used to communicate openly about things, even the little stuff, and about my mental health. But now, he just makes me feel bad for expressing my emotions, and I can't help but feel like he resents me.
I want to support him through this challenging time, but I also don't want to neglect my own emotional needs in the process. I'm struggling to find the balance between being there for him and taking care of myself, and I'm not sure how to navigate this delicate situation without adding more stress to his already heavy load.
If any of you have been through similar experiences or have any advice on how to cope with these feelings of loneliness, disconnect, and walking on eggshells while supporting a grieving partner, I would deeply appreciate your insights.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this and for any support or guidance you can offer.

Just passed the 6 month mark of not seeing my LO. The only contact I have is a shared group chat but I deliberately never respond to her directly or react to anything she says.
I still miss her. I miss when I used to see her twice a week. I miss when she would proactively message to meet up. I miss the hope. I still remember the first day she messaged me directly - I was elated. I met up with a friend that day and I was in the mood of my life. How can your own brain trick you like that?
At some point she started drifting away - hung out with other friends more and eventually got a boyfriend. I don't remember exactly when I found out about the concept of limerence. It was definitely an eye-opener. This sub has also been great - just to read about other people's experiences and knowing I'm not alone. But I'm still here, still feel the same way about her, and don't see a way out.

I’m so burned out in my ldr and my boyfriend keeps telling me that I’m not putting in an effort. I tried to break up months ago because a- I don’t feel like the relationship is going anywhere due to lack of known plans, b- I don’t trust him because of things that have happened in the past and c- due to this distrust I constantly pester him for reassurance which is exhausting for him but also exhausting for me because I’m in a state of worry all the time. He’s faught against the breakup so much and has even used guilt and now just calls me names on the phone and yells at me everyday. I am so exhausted and I have given up on leaving because of how he treats me when I try to and now I’m just waiting for him to leave himself, but he just gets more and more verbally abusive everyday. The thing is that I’m a struggling people pleaser and I often fawn in times of conflict especially when the other person is seemingly very distressed or irrationally angry. And yes I had narcissistic parents who I had to regulate all the time to survive and he knows this and I genuinely believe that he is using it as a weapon. The fact that he is asking for more effort and not seeing how us not arguing all the time is an accomplishment in itself is daunting because I don’t know what he thinks he’s gonna get from me anymore. I told him to just move on and let me be if this is not ideal for him anymore and he refuses and says he still has hope. Everyday he tells me I’ve been an awful girlfriend and that I’m the worst but the next minute he is struggling to let me go and he’s telling me that what we have is beautiful. What we had was beautiful because of how I treated him in the relationship and how gentle, fun, caring and attentive I was when we’d see each other in person. He knows or has at least voiced that I’m a rare kind of girl and now because I’m tired and realising how much I was giving as a woman and not getting back, I am suddenly a terrible person and a terrible partner? I knew people were inherently selfish but not enough to mistreat someone they claimed to have loved for years and in the name of what? I’m just not giving energy that I feel gets me nothing back anymore and now it’s like he’s a blood sucking tick that I can’t scrape off. There was a day where he left and I broke down and cried after being in survival mode for so long. I felt so relieved and like my life could finally be beautiful again. Am I in the wrong here? I know I should just grow out of my people pleasing, but I genuinely loved this person and I don’t want to be the reason they aren’t okay forever (he told me he might kill himself if I leave and I know that’s abuse and manipulation). He called me an abuser and said I destroyed him but sometimes I wonder if that were true because he acts like he will die without me. I don’t know what to believe and whether I am a bad person. Please help me
TL;DR

(I apologize for the long text)To give more context i’ve always been more on the quiet side and the reason why is because of my past relationships. Multiple of my ex boyfriends have been the type to only talk about themselves and ONLY want to talk about themselves and whenever i would talk about myself or my day they always tend to switch it around and make it all about themselves and this has led me to learn to just be quiet and become more of a listener. Also both of my ex’s didn’t do the whole affection thing like pet names or expressing how we feel about each other. Another thing that prob plays into my problem is my family. My parents don’t really show affection to one another so i grew up not knowing how to in a way. My household was a “ew affection is gross” type. Now my current boyfriend is different from all of this and he does the pet names and he wants to actually listen to me talk and get to know me and to me this is weird feeling so i get overwhelmed and i don’t know how to open up. He wants more conversation and me being a listener doesn’t help. He also wants more affection and i do give it to him i just can’t do the pet names because i cringe myself out saying baby or babe. I want to be better I do and i take some baby steps but i tend to just go back to step 1. I’ve been hurt a lot in the past and sometimes i think the hurt from my past relationships prevent me from being vulnerable to where I can’t open up more. I just want to make my boyfriend happier but every thing i do that involves affection is cringe to me.

This is an update to my previous post. We made an offer in time to meet the seller's best/final deadline last Wednesday. On Friday morning we were told our offer was accepted. We scheduled the inspection for Tuesday (today). Yesterday (Monday) morning I got a call from our agent saying that he finally got a call back from the listing agent after trying to follow up with him informing him they got another cash offer over the weekend that "looks similar to your offer on paper" but that included an additional significant amount (he put that amount at $50k) in a cash deposit that wasn't going to be recorded as part of the sales price but would be recorded somehow (e.g., we will pay for the pool separately).
My boyfriend thought this would appeal to the sellers as a tax shelter but my real estate attorney said if it gets recorded as them purchasing any part of the house separately, seller will be taxed.
Our agent said this entire scenario isn't a common occurrence. Is it a thing? Attorney said it wasn't illegal but it feels very much like under-the-table bribe money. Should we even try to match their offer? How?

Hi! I'm a devout Buddhist. I met my boyfriend in university and we've been dating for a little over 3 months. He is the first serious relationship I've been in.
Everything was fine until a few days ago when I discovered that his family is in a cult. Prior to this, I've asked about which school of buddhism his family follows and he would brush it off as "something from taiwan". He claims he did so due to a lack of interest in finding out about his family's faith. I won't disclose the name of the cult for privacy, but it has been denounced by multiple buddhist associations and monks as a "heretic group" (their leader claims to be someone on the same level as the Buddha). His family is deeply involved in the group (members for over 10 years) and they have donated sums of money. They aren't expecting me to convert (since I already have a temple that I frequent), but they likely do want me to participate in their ceremonies which I am absolutely not comfortable with.
I've started having second thoughts about him altogether because of this. As much as I love him, I don't want to marry into a family with such deep cult connections. I've spoken to him and he's given me a week to think this whole relationship through. He says he loves me but he doesn't want me to regret any decision I make.
I honestly don't know how should I think this through. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
TLDR: just discovered boyfriend's family is in a cult, am having second thoughts. Boyfriend has given me a week to decide if I want to continue the relationship.

A few years ago I was living in a flat in Manchester with a couple of friends. A guy and a girl. The girl we will call 'L'
When I first met L I wasn't in a great place. I'd been through a lot in my life: parental neglect, childhood sexual abuse, rape in adulthood, sex work. I was damaged and alone and I needed a friend. When I met L she scooped me up, would hang out with me almost every day, message me every day, introduced me to her friends and I thought my life was starting to get a bit better.
Quite early on in our friendship I started to feel a bit anxious. L had said I was her best friend, but we had only known eachother maybe a month or 2 and so I said to her that I didn't feel ready to say it back. I was worried she was love bombing me. But as time went on and we moved into a flat together we became very much best friends.
I think one of the reasons we bonded so much was because we had both experienced sexual violence and abuse in our lives. L was also quite traumatised by what she had been through in life.
L had been violently raped by an ex boyfriend. The assault had left her hospitalised. We will call the ex bf 'O'.
The assault from O had happened a few years prior to me and L meeting. She told me all about it. But, while we were living together, L made the decision to invite O over to our flat for sex. Yep, the guy that had violently raped her. She invited that man in to our home. I thought it was pretty clear from this that L had some real issues, so I chose not to pass judgment and to instead show love and compassion. L told me to keep what she had done a secret as she said that if people found out they wouldn't want to know her anymore. So I kept it a secret for months, to protect her.
Fast forward 6 months. I'm dating a guy, we will call him 'C'. We'd been on one date and had been talking for a couple weeks. He was an incredible person. He did charity work, he was a creative like me, he had clearly done a lot of self work and appeared to be the perfect guy. I felt a connection very quickly.
Then one day I decided to google him. And I found the article that would change my life forever. I found an article about C, stating that he had spent time in prison for stalking and harassment.
As I'm sure you can imagine I was completely and utterly shocked by finding that article. I've been through a lot in my life but when I saw that headline my ears started ringing and my brain just stopped for a moment. This is what trauma feels like when it's happening.
After a few moments to digest this information I burst out of my room in tears and called out for my best friend L. I needed her so badly. I needed my friend.
When I showed L the article about C, she became angry. Angry at me! She demanded that I block him immediately and started making comments about how I was inviting a dangerous person in to our lives. She accused me of this after inviting her own rapist over for sex! L also made comments such as 'what if he attacks me' as though this was happening to her. She turned herself into the victim.
I had spent time with C and although the article was truly awful, I just couldn't understand how this was the same person. He seemed so genuine and kind and compassionate. I contacted him after finding the article. I was still in quite severe shock at this point. I asked him about the article and his response was that he wished he could have told me about it himself. He explained to me that he used to have a severe drinking problem, he'd done awful things in his life which he had paid for. He spent 3 months in prison for what he did. And he hadn't touched alcohol since. All of this had happened 3 years before we met. He had been sober for 3 years. I admired him for managing to make something of himself despite having such a scathing mark against his character floating around on the Internet for the world to see.
Within 48 hours of me finding that article L called everyone we knew and told them about it. She even contacted people close to my family to tell them I was 'dating a rapist' even though C had never actually physically hurt anyone.
Within 48 hours of me finding that article Ls friends were openly picking on my and excluding me. She had worked so quickly. It actually reminds me of something I heard about called a 'narcissistic attack' in which the perpetrator purposefully turns people against someone in order to socially ostracise them.
I lost almost everyone.
I very much believed C. I chose to continue dating him. But the hell L was putting me through made it difficult for the relationship to work. Me and L were still living together. She had said I wasn't allowed to bring C anywhere near the flat. So ofc I agreed. L was making my life a daily misery, with off hand remarks, social isolation and verbal attacks. She turned all the new people I had met against me. She branded me as the 'girl who would date a stalker'. And all these people I used to consider friends jumped on the band wagon. Not a single person came to my defense.
I continued to date C for 6 weeks after finding the article. I broke up with him in the end because what L was putting me through was creating resentment that C couldn't possibly handle. He'd been through enough. We did remain friends though. And to this day he is still sober and very much a changed man.
People make mistakes in life. Some people make awful mistakes. I chose to accept C for who he was in the moment, not who he had been years previously. I chose to act with compassion and understanding and the person that was supposed to be my friend completely betrayed me.
I have been through a lot in my life but to be so betrayed by a friend is very traumatic. Especially after putting faith and trust in that friend. Especially after being there for that friend when she had done far far worse.
It's been over 2 years since this all happened and I'm still dealing with the PTSD. It's the public humiliation that has been so damaging to me. It's the going to a friend for support in a time of need and instead of them being there for me they tried to destroy me.
It's been over 2 years and I still have nightmares and wake up in tears.
And to this day I havnt told any of her friends about what she did with O. I was going to tell everyone about it at first but I made the conscious choice to not be that person. And instead I just walked away.
Looking back I really wish I had stood up for myself more. Maybe then L would have realised what she was doing.
I still get so angry. It's so hard to move on. I can't go a day without reliving what she did to me. I'm so tired.

My 29F boyfriend 28 M is loosing interest in me or is he just comfortable?
My 29F boyfriend 28M is loosing interest in me.
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half. We don’t live together, rent is insane in CA. We see eachother a few times a week. I sleep over maybe once a week. In the beginning he was obsessed with me. Constantly texted while he was at work, wanted to see me all the time, wanted to have intimacy all the time. Now it feels like he could care less. If I don’t text him all day he would be fine with it. He won’t look at any of the reels I send him on social media, he isn’t begging for intimacy anymore, isn’t planning dates, we go to bed at separate times, he is up playing video games and smoking weed. He says it’s because he is comfortable, but I feel like he just wants to be alone all the time. Do you think he is loosing interest or is he comfortable?