I was 6 when the Plainfield tornado hit my neighborhood. We were the first subdivision hit when it entered Plainfield. It was weird bc half the subdivision was gone and the other half was still standing. It also hit a pig farm at the end of the street and there were dead pigs everywhere. The ones who weren’t dead made awful noises and people went around performing mercy killings.
Right before it hit I was outside with a friend. We just happened to decide to go inside our perspective houses before it hit 10 mins later. I remember thinking the clouds looked weird and now I realize they were mammatus clouds. I went inside to turn on the tv, Ghost Busters were on at 3. The tv wouldn’t turn on but the power was still on. My mom was on the phone, my dad was sleeping and my brother was getting ready to go deliver his papers for his route.
It got really dark outside and the wind and rain picked up, throwing things off our deck. My dad came tearing out of his room, yelling we needed to get downstairs and into the bathroom. My mom decided to continue her phone conversation downstairs until about the tornado hit saying “girl, I gotta go, there’s a tornado”. My family and I hid in the bathroom, all of them piled up on me. At one point I could feel the wind pulling all of us out of the bathroom, my dad holding onto the toilet seat while being pulled in the air. I don’t remember it sounding like a freight train, it was just very loud and our house was being torn apart. After it hit we went to our neighbor’s whose house was still standing. We had to peel the garage door up to escape, the top half of the house and all the stairs were gone. Our neighbor’s son happened to have one of the first cell phones and my parents were able to make a few calls to our relatives a few towns over.
I remember seeing the tornado, it was massive, black and looked like it had mini tornadoes swirling around it.
My dad had left to go help with the neighbors. A woman behind us was watching her grandson and she couldn’t get to him bc the stairs were gone. The grandson happened to be on a bed and a wall collapsed on him. Because he was on the bed, it was able to indent enough, he didn’t get crushed. Fiberglass was in his throat and my dad was able to get it out to help him breathe again. Then, the farmer down the street had his tractor roll onto him. My dad and some neighbors helped pull it off of him. He didn’t make it in time to get to his storm shelter. We had no warnings.
Around the neighborhood trees were stripped, cars in and on trees. Glass and fiberglass everywhere. All of our belongings were gone. We couldn’t even save clothing bc fiberglass was just embedded in everything. They found my dad’s savings bonds miles away. Our cats got blown away too, still lived, but were miles from home.
We had to evacuate to the end of the street bc of gas leaks.
My brother and I were supposed to start school the next day. Him at the high school and me at the Catholic school that was destroyed.
My aunts and uncles spent over 3 hours traveling to us from towns 45 mins away. We stayed with them a week before being set in a temporary home. Our house was one of the first to be rebuilt. It was eerie going to the neighborhood after it hit. I went w my dad often. The National Guard was there and also my neighbor, old man, was sitting outside w a shotgun to make sure there were no looters.
I wanted to be a storm chaser for a while, but well I’m not great at math so killed that dream. Also, I still have a fear response regarding bad weather. Watching the patterns change has been fascinating and scary.

Hello, I'm Hergis. I'm here to help you with your Math classes (Algebra, Precalculus, Calculus 1, 2, 3, Math foundation gap-filling, Statistics, etc). I graduated with a degree in Chemical Engineering from UC Berkeley in 2023.I've got a couple of Associate Degrees in Chemistry, Physics, and Mathematics, and I've been wrestling with numbers and equations for a good chunk of my life. I was a Teaching Assistant at Grossmont College, in San Diego, CA, where I helped over 80 students improve their math skills.My Teaching Style: I like using the Socratic method, meaning rather than simply telling you the answer, I ask thought-provoking questions until you reach that AHA moment! From my experience, this approach has a much greater efficiency. Don't worry, I know nobody likes to be put on the spot to answer questions, but I have already taken that into consideration. It feels more like a conversation rather than an interrogation. I promise! Plus, I speak both English and French, so we can chat in the language you're most comfortable with.Discover more about my tutoring methods and see them in action by visiting our Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/beyondnumberss.
Feel free to message me so we can start working as soon as possible. Let me know if you have any questions

Overview

In this presentation, OpenAI's Mira Murati introduces the latest advancements in their AI technology, specifically focusing on the new iteration named GPT-4o. The session includes announcements, live demonstrations, and interactions with the audience to showcase the capabilities of GPT-4o.

Key Announcements

Accessibility and Usability Enhancements
Mira highlights OpenAI's commitment to making advanced AI tools broadly accessible. Significant efforts are being made to reduce friction in using ChatGPT's capabilities, including the introduction of a desktop version that is simpler and more natural to use (21s). This approach ensures that everyone, regardless of their user status (free or paid), can benefit from the latest AI technology.
Launch of GPT-4o
The core of Mira's announcement is the launch of GPT-4o, a new flagship model of ChatGPT that brings the advanced intelligence of GPT-4 to a broader audience, including free users (1m 5s). GPT-4o aims to improve the ease and naturalness of AI interactions, marking a significant step forward in machine-human collaboration.
Demonstrations of GPT-4o Capabilities
Mira and her team demonstrate various features of GPT-4o, emphasizing its improved performance across text, vision, and audio:
Voice Capabilities
Mark Chen and Barrett Zoph showcase the real-time conversational abilities of GPT-4o, highlighting how it can handle interruptions, pick up on emotions, and generate responses with varied emotional tones (9m 33s).

• Deep Breathing Exercise: Mark demonstrates how ChatGPT can assist with calming techniques through real-time feedback on breathing patterns (10m 21s).
• Bedtime Story: ChatGPT tells a bedtime story in different tones and styles, showcasing its dynamic range in voice generation (12m 18s).

Vision Capabilities
The vision capabilities of GPT-4o enable it to interpret and interact with visual content.

• Solving Math Problems: Barrett uses ChatGPT to solve a linear equation written on paper. ChatGPT provides step-by-step guidance, demonstrating its ability to assist with educational tasks (14m 21s).
• Code Analysis: Mark shows how GPT-4o can analyze code snippets and generate detailed explanations. This feature helps users understand and debug complex code (18m 25s).

Real-Time Translation
The model's capability for real-time translation is tested by translating between English and Italian seamlessly, enabling communication in multilingual scenarios (22m 55s).
Emotion Detection
Barrett tests if GPT-4o can determine emotions from facial expressions. ChatGPT successfully identifies happiness and cheerfulness from a selfie, indicating its potential in understanding human emotions through vision (23m 44s).
Future Prospects and Wrap-Up
Mira concludes by emphasizing the OpenAI team's dedication to progressing AI technology responsibly and effectively. She expresses gratitude to the OpenAI team and partners for their efforts and contributions. The session wraps up with anticipation for future updates and innovations (25m 20s).
The presentation illustrates GPT-4o's enhanced capabilities in natural language processing, real-time interaction, and multimodal understanding, reflecting OpenAI’s ongoing commitment to making advanced AI technology accessible and user-friendly.
https://www.anytldr.com/summary/introducing-gpt-4o/f-Ip5MP3YQIu6q6l

I plan to show this to my girlfriend (I’ll call her Nora since she has a ridiculously rare name) when she’s finished her finals on Thursday. I’m using a throwaway because she’s advocated for me to always convey my feelings, with her, a journal, friends or my family and I’ll use reddit this time and she loves this platform. We’ve resolved everything but I still want to write everything down and show her.
For some background, Nora and I met and became the best of friends when we both started middle school; we had the same classes together up until high school and up until Covid, we stopped talking for 2-3 years. In 11th grade, we had many of the same classes once again and within 2 months of the school year, I fell for her. I didn’t confess for another 4-5 months by asking her out to junior prom and we started dating March 31, 2022. Since then, we’ve bettered ourselves, experienced shared dreams, been to 6 countries and 20 states together. We one-up each other when it’s time to celebrate our birthdays and anniversary. We saved each other and I know for certain that she is my soulmate and she’s the only person that I want to marry and have a family with down the line. Currently, we’re freshmen at different colleges in our home state.
For the past few weeks, she’s been stressed for this one final, it’s the highest math she needs for her program and we’ve been taking college classes since June 2022 up until attending college in August 2023. Her plan for the last 2 years has always been to attending community college to knock out her pre-reqs before transferring within a few months. Although since she’s nearing the finish line for this plan, it’s been taking the biggest toll on her.
But last week specifically, she was really unresponsive, which isn’t like her. Whenever she would stay the night over, she would either sleep on the couch in my room and stay up longer than me (which always worried me considering I’m quite an insomniac whenever I don’t get a chance to share the same bed with her or to hear her telling me goodnight). The only time she opened up to me was to let all of her frustrations out. I would go to my family (they love her just as much as they love me) a lot but they’d only endearingly laugh at me, my mom especially. She’d tell me “She’s the reason you’re able to be open up so much to us, give her time” and things along those lines.
I did do as my mom said and gave her time, but I know my girl very well. I know when she wants to talk, when she wants to hug and when she wants to cry. But I also knew she didn’t want to talk just yet. Our conversations were short, and as much as it killed me, I knew she needed time more than anyone.
Yesterday (Mother’s Day), I ended up being the reason we fixed things. We like to spend the first half of holidays at her place then mine after. I went to her place, her eldest brother opened the door and smiled at me, we made conversation and he told me she was upstairs. I dropped my gifts off and went to knock on her door. She said come in and was surprised to see me, I guess she didn’t know what time I was coming over.
Looking at her felt like time stopped, Nora has always been the most beautiful woman, no one can rival her radiant smile, her loud laughs or the pleasure of staring at her; but she was glowing. She smelt like lemon, ginger and coconut, she smelt like herself. She felt like herself. At that point my face was burning, she got up and started inspecting my face, her hands were on my face and she kept asking what was wrong.
I started crying without knowing and she started to panic, crying has become a normality for me, I always find myself crying when she cries. But crying out of nowhere was alarming for her. She spent 10 minutes consoling me before I apologized for making her panic. She said it was fine but asked what was wrong. I told her how when I saw her, it felt like she was herself again. It was the first time she’s touched me in over a week (physical touch being my love language) and I asked her what happened to make her, her regular self again. She told me that “Your support for me has been unwavering for 2 years, I can’t possibly disappoint you with how much you’ve put into being there for me through everything, and I think making gifts for your mom and mine just made me realize I shouldn’t stress so much, I got to take my mind off everything and I wanted to apologize to you for being so short and disrespectful of your feelings”
She started laughing after explaining and started teasing me until we started to banter back and forth and ended up wrestling together. After some minutes, Nora hugged me really tight and kissed me countless times and told me how sorry she’s been. I easily forgave her, she’s always gone out of her way to make sure I’m okay.
I just thought I’d put my feelings down somewhere before heading to bed, we’re sharing the same bed for the first time in a week or so and the idea of getting ready in the morning to help her study makes me smile. She’s been stressed a lot and I’ve promised her that once she’s officially done this semester, I’m treating her to a deserved spa day with a manicure and pedicure, I’ve already paid her hair stylist in advance for her appointment on Saturday.
I just want my girl to be happy and stress free the way she’s always trying her best to be present in lives of the people she cares for and she’s gone several miles: from being the first to show up for my younger sister’s (17) art exhibits, paying for her prom, taking her shopping, to going on morning walks with my older sister (22), going to concerts and helping my parents. I’d be stupid if I didn’t show how far my appreciation for her runs.
I’ve been rambling for the last 20 minutes and I’m happy I made this account, I really do love Nora more than life itself because she’s the one who made me love the longevity of my life. I talk to my dad about her constantly and my friends can’t go without telling me that I always talk about Nora when the chance is given. I can’t do without her and her serenity, her weirdness, her humor her warmth and her beauty.
Good night!
TL;DR: I'm planning to pour my heart out to my girlfriend after her finals. We've been inseparable since middle school, she's my soulmate. Lately, she’s been stressed, but we had a breakthrough on Mother's Day, and I feel relieved. I can't wait to support her and treat her to a spa day. I'm head over heels for her and deeply appreciate everything she does for me and my family.

Hi, My name is Haze and I'm from Sri Lanka. I'm currently an introverted high school student studying Maths, Chemistry and Physics. I like listening to music, watching movies and TV series, hanging out, studying and many more in my free time.
My interests include nature, horror and the paranormal, history, K-pop, spirituality (Law of Attraction, meditation, manifestation, astrology), chocolate, cats, and aesthetics.
I'm going through a pretty tough time with my friendships and it feels so lonely, empty and suffocating sometimes, so I decided to join here and try it. I'm looking for long-term friendships with people around my age (16-23) where we can talk about our daily lives, have deep meaningful conversations, and support each other during their good and bad times. It's like I'm looking for a new best friend for my life.
I consider myself an open-minded person so, I don't care about your gender, origins, religion, sexuality etc.
I'm sorry I know this is boring so, Thank you for reading till the end and if you're called to I hope you leave me a msg or comment here, so we can get back to each other and form a special bond

Been seeing some complaints about the changes in Song of Strife, especially regarding the Secret Travelogue and the Growth Bundle, so I thought I would do some math to figure out how much value is actually lost. In the meantime, I also calculated out which banners are the best to pull from, the cost of S- and A-level heroes by dollar and by gems (the latter differing depending on the banner). The Key Findings is the tl;dr. The rest is just showing my work. Enjoy!
Key Findings:

1. Song of Strife Noble Path Secret Travelogue is, at the most generous, only 60% as valuable as Pre-Season Noble Path Secret Travelogue.
   
2. Song of Strife Growth Bundle is slightly better, being ~4.7% more valuable than Pre-Season Growth Bundle.
   
3. For S-level Heroes, the banners with the best to worst values are: Epic Recruitment, Rate-Up, and All-Hero.
   
4. It's actually less expensive, gem-wise, to get a Celestial or Hypogean Hero via Scamgazer than an S-level via All-Hero Recruitment.
   
5. If you have A-level Heroes with the same pull priority as S-level, it is more cost-effective to put those on your Epic Recruitment than S-levels.
   
6. If pulling from All-Hero, an S-level Hero costs $21.95 and an A-level Hero costs $2.00.
   
7. If pulling from Rate-Up, an S-level Hero costs $16.67 and an A-level Hero costs $5.00.
   

Baselines
I'll be using the baseline of 270 gems per All-Hero Recruitment letter (2700 gems per 10-pull) and 300 gems per Rate-Up Recruitment Letter.
I will also be using the in-game percentages, without considering pity (since it seems like the consensus that the rate has pity built in). If there's enough interest, I might run these calcs again, but assuming you only hit pity.
Epic Recruitment Letters
This is hard to value. If priced using Emporium, each letter is worth 400 gems.
If priced using Gazettes, each letter is worth 514 gems (12,000 gems for $5, 70 letters for $15). If you take into account AFKJ's "Value" proposition that the Classic Gazette is of better value than the Premium Gazette, you get that each letter is worth ~441 gems.
I'll make calcs based on all three, with results in XXX/XXX/XXX format, representing calcs using 400/441/514 gems, respectively.
Gems and Heroes
Source: Recruitment Store
A-level Soulstones: 68 Dolly Tickets S-level Soulstones: 550 Dolly Tickets You need 60 of each for one Hero of that tier, meaning AFK Journey values S-levels at ~8.1x the value of A-level.
Source: Epic Recruitment
When you hit the prize pool, you will either receive your choice of 1 S-level or 5 A-level heroes. This values A-levels at 5x that of S-levels. I am not sure whether you can pull Celestials or Hypogeans from an S-level Soulstone, but if you can, then that makes sense why there is a value difference between the Recruitment Store conversion and the Epic Recruitment conversion rates. Moving forward, I will use the 1:5 rate in the Epic Recruitment, since most things won't involve Celestials or Hypogeans.
Value: Rate-Up Recruitment
Rate-Up Hero (S-level) Chance: 3.0% Rate-Up (S-level) EV: 3 per 100 pulls (NOTE: This is EXACTLY the expected value if you only hit the pity of 40, so if chances include pity, this means you actually have a less than 0.04% (assuming they round chances) of actually pulling one outside of pity.) Rate-Up (S-level) Gem Cost: 10,000 gems
A-level Chance: 10% A-level EV: 1 per 10 pulls A-level Gem Cost: 3000 gems
S:A-level Conversion Rate: ~3.3
Value: All-Hero Recruitment
S-level Chance: 2.05% S-level EV: 41 per 2000 pulls S-level Gem Cost: 13,171 gems
A-level Chance: 22.5% A-level EV: 45 per 200 pulls A-level Gem Cost: 1200 gems
S:A-level Conversion Rate: ~1:110
Value: Epic Recruitment
S-level Chance: 5.22% S-level EV: 261 per 5000 pulls S-level Gem Cost: 7663/8448/9847 gems
A-level Chance: 18.75% A-level EV: 3 per 16 pulls A-level Gem Cost: 2133/2352/2741 gems
S:A-level Conversion Rate: ~3.6
(Meaning, it's more worth it to put an A-level over a S-level on your Wishlist for Epic Recruitment if they have the same priority)
Value: Scamgazer
Cost: 400 gems per pull (from Emporium)
Cele/Hypo Chance: 3.25% Cele/Hypo EV: 13 per 400 pulls Cele/Hypo Gem Cost: 12,308 gems
Experia Monthly
Classic Gazette
12,000 gems for $5 = 2400 gems per $1.
Receive immediately 3000 gems + 300 gems (for that day), converted to 660 gems per $1. Note that the extra 300 gems only applies if you don't already have a Classic Gazette active. If you do, it drops to 600 gems per $1.
If you're looking to be competitive, use the 600 gems per $1. If you're just spending and playing for fun, use the 2400 gems per $1.
Premium Gazette
70 Epic Recruitment Letters for $15 = 4.7 Epic Recruitment Letters per $1
Receive immediately 10 Epic Recruitment Letters + 2 letters (for that day), converted to 0.8 letters per $1. Note that the extra 2 letters only applies if you don't already have a Premium Gazette active. If you do, it drops to 0.67 letters per $1.
If you're looking to be competitive, use the 0.67 letters per $1. If you're just spending and playing for fun, use the 4.7 letters per $1.
Pre-Season (Launch until Song of Strife):
Growth Bundle (Value: 1940/2022/2168 gems per $1) Cost: $30 Benefits: 18,000 gems; 60 All-Hero Letters; 60 Epic Letters Converting to Gems: 58200/60660/65040 (18,000 + 16200 + 24000/26460/30840 (using different values for Epic letters))
Noble Path (Value: 5838/5920/6066 gems per $1)
Cost: $10 S-Level Soulstone: Choice of Temesia, Smokey, Thoran, and Bryon (worth 13,171 gems) 20 Epic Recruitment Letters (worth 8000/8820/10280 gems) 1200 A-level Soulstone Pieces (20 A-level Soulstones) (worth 12000 gems) 7239 Essence (worth ~5050 gems (calc using 2007 essence at AFK 1125 (w/o mystic collection bonuses) with 6 hours of essence costing 350 gems, if all 3 instant collects are bought)) 17 Million EXP (not quantifiable, as after first primal lord, EXP no longer an issue) 140 Faction Acorns per Faction (560 acorns total) (worth 20160 gems (calc using Emporium rates))
Season One (Song of Strife):
Growth Bundle (Value: 1967/2117/2385 gems per $1) Cost: $30 Benefits: 15,000 gems; 110 Epic Recruitment Letters Converting to Gems: 59000/63510/71540 gems
Noble Path (Value: 3525 gems per $1 -- which is overvaluing essence and EXP when compared to Pre-Season calculations)
Cost: $10 30 Rate-Up Letters (worth 9000 gems) 30 All-Hero Letters (worth 8100 gems) 10K Essence (worth 8424 gems (note: not sure rate at max AFK, so using stage 250 rate)) 2.312 Million EXP (worth 9721 gems (note: note sure rate at max AFK, so using stage 250 rate))

Yes, it’s exactly what you read in the title. I think I have feelings for guy I haven’t met in person. So, a few years ago, I matched with a guy on Tinder. He and I have been messaging each other for a few years on Snapchat until recently. He and I have each other’s social medias, but not one another’s phone numbers.
He and I are close in age,early twenties, and from the same state. He goes to a college a few states away, so we’ve never met in person or when he was back in the same state. In the beginning of the messaging, he and I were consistent with the back and forth. There was flirting, jokes,etc.There were some points where I was more into him and he was more into me, it seemed we were never on the same page. We shared deep personal conversations and light hearted funny conversations. I think he’s really handsome, funny, intelligent, and geeky. And so much more. When I realized my feelings were strong, I tried to make the first move and invite him to my birthday celebration, he respectfully declined and explained that he wouldn’t be able to make it . He had a valid reason, he’s extremely bright(Physics Major, like Math, but Rocket Science) and got into a lab in another state for the summer, great opportunity, so I was very happy for him.
I tried to keep conversations after the fact, but it seems like I just wasn’t clicking with him like I was before. Seems like I was forcing it, and it was very one-sided on my behalf. Having feelings for somebody and having them on all your social media isn’t fun seeing them have fun and just seeing them accomplished things it truly truly makes it harder to keep my feelings to myself. I’m happy for him, but it hurts because I want to be a person that he shares this with.
Me, being states away didn’t help anything it’s not like I would be able to see him or if we pushed the boundary into being something more it would work necessarily. I had hoped though after starting more conversations, yet getting the same results of it feeling like I was bothering him, I kinda just took a break from social media. It’s been roughly 2 months since we’ve spoken. To be honest with you, I think he just forgot about me. Understandably he went to a college that was hours away. He had his friends there. I think his final year of college was this year. He probably even graduated. Which means he’s coming back to our state, his birthday is coming up and I want to spark up conversation by telling him “Happy Birthday” and maybe confessing my feelings to him. If I can’t work up the confidence to confess my feelings, I think I should start by offering my number and seeing where it goes from there? Hopefully, meeting him in person!
He’s a great guy and if being his friend is all I’ll ever be. I’m OK with that. I like having him in my life. He talked me through a lot of things and hopefully it’s the same for him. Any advice?

Alright, I’m sure nothing I’m about to say right now is going to be ground breaking or revolutionary in any way and has probably been mentioned to some kind of extent a million times in this forum, but it’s the fact that it is so collectively discussed among everyday people, but never seems to be a conversation when it comes to creating legislation in government (shocker I know..). We are getting absolutely robbed blind of our time on Earth and it sickens me that more people are collectively upset about this. Now don’t get me wrong, I love having streets to drive on, medicine, technology, and all of the things that come with people like you and I going to work, but have we not completely abandoned the essence of what makes going to work even worth it? Let’s take the cookie cutter schedule for what most would consider a full time job, that’s 8 hours a day, 5 days a week multiply that by 4 weeks in a year (rough math), then multiply that by 12 months in a year and multiply THAT times 40 years worth of hours (350,640 hours) and then add on 8 hours of sleep on that per day. That’s 43.81% of 40 years spent either at work, or unconscious (if the math is wrong my bad but you get the picture). Now, I don’t know about you, but working 8 hours a day sounds like a DREAM and I am not getting doctors recommended amounts of sleep, so I couldn’t even imagine what my percentage is or what that of health care, construction, factory, production, or any kind of job for that matter. But the reason for the rant is because it seems like no one is happy with this reality, but it has been the norm for so long that going against that grain just doesn’t even seem fathomable for some; but at some point we have to demand changes to how work and life are balanced right? Emphasis on demand. We see suicide numbers skyrocketing, drug addiction are rampant, families falling apart over work complications and we’re all supposed to sit here and play dumb like maybe this whole thing isn’t working anymore? Next time you’re at work, ask around, are people super excited to wake up and go to whatever job it is? If so that’s fantastic, but I’d be willing to bet money that wouldn’t be the case. Again, not breaking news but people are perpetually burnt out, frustrated, and sad but guess what, it doesn’t matter, just gotta grind bayybay! I mean have we really relegated ourselves to waiting until our 60s to experience true freedom? We really want to be old and decrepit when we FINALLY get to see those places we’ve always dreamed of traveling to? Now I don’t know the answer, I’m just a warehouse guy…but you don’t have to be a weatherman to know when it’s fucking raining. And I know this goes deep down to lobbyists, politicians and blah blah blah blah but at some point it becomes too much. I understand that this isn’t a shared perception with absolutely everyone, but I’d bet MOST people are pretty fed up, I know I am.

GPT-4o (“o” for “omni”) was announced a few hours ago by OpenAI, and although the announcement livestream is good, the real gold nuggets are in the 22 demo videos they posted on their channel.
I watched all of them, and here are the key takeaways and use cases we all should know. 👍🏻
A. The Ultimate Learning Partner
What is it? Give GPT-4o a view of the math problem you’re working on, or the objects you want to learn the language translation of, and it can teach you like no other tool can.
Why should you care? Imagine when you can hook up GPT-4o to something like the Meta Rayban glasses: then you can always have it teach you about whatever you are looking at. That can be a math problem, an object you want translated, a painting you want the history of, or a product that you want get the reviews of online. This single feature alone has incredibly many use-cases!
🔗 Video 7, Video 8
B. The Perfect Teams Meeting Assistant
What is it? Having an AI assistant during Teams meetings, whom you can talk to the same way you talk to your colleagues.
Why should you care? Their demo didn’t expound on the possibilities yet, but some of them can be…

• having the AI summarise the minutes and next steps from the meeting
• having the AI look up info in your company data and documentation pages (e.g. “what’s the sales from this month last year?”)
• having the AI work on data analysis problems with you (e.g. “create a chart showing sales over the past 5 years and report on trends”)

🔗 Video 5
C. Prepare for Interviews like Never Before
What is it? Have GPT-4o act like the company you’re interviewing for.
Why should you care? What’s changed is that the AI can now “see” you. So instead of just giving feedback on what you say, it can also give feedback on how you say it. Layer this on top of an AI avatar and maybe you can simulate the interview itself in the future?
🔗 Video 11
D. Your Personal Language Translator, wherever you go
What is it? Ask ChatGPT to translate between languages, and then speak normally.
Why should you care? Because of how conversational GPT-4o has become, the AI now helps not just with translating the words, but also the intonation of what you’re intending to say. Now pair this with GPT-enabled earphones in a few years, and you pretty much can understand any language (AirPods x ChatGPT, anyone?)
🔗 Video 3
E. Share Screen with your AI Coding Assistant
What is it? Share screen with your AI partner, and have them guide you through your work.
Why should you care? Now this is definitely something that will happen pretty soon. Being able to “share screen” to your AI assistant can help not just with coding, but even with other non-programmer tasks such as work in excel, powerpoint, etc.
🔗 Video 20
F. A future where AIs interact with each other
What is it? Two GPT-4o’s interacting with each other, that sounds indistinguishable from two people talking. (They even sang a song together!)
Why should you care? Well there’s a couple of use cases:

• can you imagine AI influencers talking to each other live on Tiktok? Layer this conversation with AI avatars and this will be a step beyond the artificial influencers you have today (e.g. the next level of @lilmiquela maybe?)
• can this be how “walled” AIs can work together in the future? example: Meta’s AI would only have access to facebook’s data, while Google’s AI would only have access to google’s - will the two AIs be able interact in a similar fashion to the demo, albeit behind-the-scenes?

🔗 Video 2
G. AI Caretaking?
What is it? Asking GPT-4o to "train” your pets
Why should you care? Given GPT-4o’s access to vision, can you now have AI personal trainers for your pets? Imagine being able to have it connect to a smart dog-treat dispenser, and have the AI use that to teach your dog new tricks!
🔗 Video 12
H. Brainstorm with two GPTs
What is it? The demo shows how you can talk to two GPT-4o’s at once
Why should you care? The demo video is centered around harmonizing singing for some reason, but I think the real use case is being able to brainstorm with two specific AI personalities at once:

• one’s a Devil’s Advocate, the other’s the Angel’s advocate?
• one provides the Pros (the Optimist), the other gives the Cons (the Pessimist)?
• maybe Disney can even give a future experience where you can talk to Joy and Sadness from the movie Inside Out? - that would be interesting!

🔗 Video 10
I. Accessibility for the Blind
What is it? Have GPT-4o look at your surroundings and describe it for you
Why should you care? Imagine sending it the visual feed from something like the Meta Rayban glasses, and your AI assistant can literally describe what you’re seeing, and help you navigate your surroundings like never before (e.g. “is what I’m holding a jar of peanut butter, or a jar of vegemite?”). This will definitely be a game-changer for how the visually impaired lives their daily lives.
🔗 Video 13
If this has been a tad bit insightful, I hope you can check out RoboNuggets where I originally shared this and other AI-related practical knowledge! (The links to the video demos are also there). My goal is not "AI daily news", as there's already too many of those, but instead share useful insights/knowledge for everyone to take full advantage of the new AI normal. Cheers! 🥚

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

Within my department, there's an opportunity to apply for funded student-led research. I'm currently an undergraduate Math-Econ and International Studies major. I've taken courses in Econ Development/Growth, Intermediate Macro, and Principles. I plan to take Econometrics next fall. I participated in a data competition with two friends who took Econometrics and Forecasting, but they got caught up with their other schoolwork and couldn’t dedicate time, leaving me by myself. Ultimately, I wasn't able to complete the project on my own in time.
I enjoyed the process and used resources about R to help with the regressions, drawing from my experience in an introductory statistics course with an R lab. Additionally, I have a strong interest in my Econ Development/Growth course and am inclined to pursue research with an international focus. I also do want to put myself in a position to pursue Economics on the graduate level, and I would do a senior thesis regardless, but since I’m graduating a year early because I came in with a lot of credits and wouldn’t have scholarships for the fourth year. I would have a Math and Mathematical Statistics minor as well, so I should have the bare requirements to apply later on math-wise.
My main concern is my limited experience and the absence of a close relationship with professors who could potentially serve as advisors. The professor who would be suitable, my Econ Development/Growth professor, is going on sabbatical. Additionally, my Macro Theory professor will also be my professor for Econometrics next fall. However, I've only had two conversations with him, and those were about registration within the Math-Economics major.
I have two weeks to come up with a proposal and get a faculty advisor since the application is due on May 31st. Would it be worthwhile to reach out to my department chair to inquire about applying for the research opportunity, or should I wait until after completing Econometrics?

Hey so I love figgs like these characters are great whenever I do a scene/chapter (best way I can describe it also it’s Monday and I have no energy to think) I want to continue after my conversation to like a time skip how would I do that bc I’m here thinking like the conversation as a book 😅 like does someone have any suggestions? I would love to hear it (also if you don’t understand what I’m saying sorry English isn’t my greatest skill but math is)

I was a recovering finsub. Years ago, I was financially abused by a Mistress who used a debt contract to systematically extract as much money from me as possible. While I was able to get out of the contract, it took almost every cent I had. In the end, I paid double the original amount due to all the usury terms.
I told my cautionary tale online and received a lot of comments. Most of the feedback was from Dommes and they were generally supportive. One was so touched by my experience that she wanted to help me out. She proposed that I enter into a contract with her. It wasn’t a typical debt contract. It was an arrangement where I would give her a lump sum of money for her to invest with. After a set time period, she would return the money to me. And whatever returns she made through investments would be hers to keep. It seemed like a zero-risk way to engage in findom.
She drafted up a lengthy contract. As she was a paralegal, this came naturally for her. But the 24-page contract was overwhelming for me. She summarized it for me so I could easily understand. I would transfer $50,000 to her account. After 6 months, the $50,000 would be returned to me minus a “variable maintenance fee” starting at 2%. Since she was only keeping profits, she reasoned the large initial amount was necessary to make it worth her time. And at 2%, $1000 seemed more than fair to serve her for 6 months. We agreed to the terms and we both signed the contract.
At the end of every month, she sent me statements detailing the financial performance of her portfolio. I could see she was very savvy financially. I always looked forward to these statements and watching her wealth grow.
When the 6-month period came to an end, I asked her how she would return the funds to me. To my shock, she told me she wasn’t going to return it, at least not at that time. She was exercising her option to extend the contract for an additional month. When I protested, she pointed to a clause that either one of us was able to do this unilaterally. She also reminded me that exiting the contract required agreement from both parties, despite what the original time period was. So without a mutual agreement, by default the contract would keep extending for an additional month. And each monthly extension required a special maintenance fee from me.
I felt the situation was dire. These extra maintenance fees, while minor, would eat into the initial funds. But that soon became the least of my worries. After three more months of having the same conversation, I had the sinking feeling I was never going to see my money again. That’s when she seemed to take some pity on me and suggested a way we could end the contract sooner rather than later. Although she had been investing aggressively, she wasn’t quite at her financial goals. She told me an additional $20,000 from me would expedite things. Figuring I only had to temporarily send an additional $20,000 to get all my money back, it seemed like a good deal. So we amended the contract from $50,000 to $70,000. I transferred $20,000 to her account.
I didn’t know exactly how much faster it would be, but I didn’t expect it to be a year. In that year we never talked. She did keep sending me monthly statements, but I eventually ignored those as I completely lost interest. I had mentally made my stand. I was no longer going to give her any more money. I was no longer going to be her fool. But my proud moment was for nothing. I knew she had the last laugh.
After a year, she unexpectedly contacted me. She let me know that she intended to end the contract, assuming I would agree. We subsequently signed the exit clause. When I asked about the money, she dropped a bomb on me. I was not getting my money back. I, in fact, owed her another $24,893.49. It was those variable maintenance fees. She expressed surprise that I didn’t object whenever the percentage changed, which was within my rights. I quickly scanned through the statements from the past year. The percentage had been well over 2% for a while. And month after month, the fees were cumulative. The fees were also compounded with interest. I neglected to realize that once the fees had dwindled the $70,000 to zero, I was actually on the hook to pay the fees every month.
I sank in despair as I couldn’t come to grips with the math. Knowing I didn’t have $25,000 to spare, she proposed a straightforward solution: a standard debt contract. In the end I would end up paying at least $95,000 in total to a Domme who was trying to help me. She suggested we just round it up to $100,000.

I have seen many people needing help with Gallagher’s energy thresholds, so I figured that since I’d already done some of the math, I should do the rest and write up something to help everyone know what choice should be made and why. And also because it is one of the main reasons these calcs mater I will also include SP (Skill Points)/turn gains and BE (Break Effect) opportunity cost for each
Before I get into the long version: the TLDR is if you need more SP from Gallagher (Firefly teams will need this) You can use energy planar set (such as Penacony set), break rope, and a non energy LC such as “What is Real” or “Multiplication” and normal attack every turn for the lowest BE cost to have the most SP/turn. If you have somebody else generating enough SP in some team comp, you can use Post Op Conversation , Energy Rope, and energy planar for very fast ults but SP negative
When calculating what actions Gallagher should be using each rotation of ults, I will prioritize Basic attacks/normal attacks over skills if possible, and have both the lowest turn count and highest SP gain. I will also be calculating the fastest way to get your first ult with E1. SP/turn considers the ult advance as not an additional turn, but does consider it’s SP change
All calc assume no teammates provide energy or energy regeneation rating, and Gallagher never gets hit
And now starting off the lengthy explanations:
Just Energy Planar set
You get your first ult after 2 basic attacks every subsequent ult can be done every 5 basic for 1.25 SP/turn or every 2 skills 2 basic at SP neutral This has the opportunity cost of 36% BE from Talia set (or you could use 2.3 Planer which I won’t explain due to being a leak, but this part will be notable in 2.3)
With just Energy Rope
You get your first ult after 1 skill Every subsequent ult can be done every 5 normal attacks for 1.25 SP/turn or every 3 basic attacks and 1 skill for 2/3 SP each turn This has the opportunity cost of 64.8% BE from a break rope
With just Post Op Conversation (this is included to prove why it’s probably not worth using. Use Multiplication if you want 25% more turns (assuming you skill 1 or less times every) or What is Real for the 48% BE)
You get your first ult after 1 skill (this is the only thing it does better than the planar ever as you will see) Every subsequent ult can be done every 5 basic attacks for 1.25 SP/turn or every 2 skills 2 basic attacks for SP neutral (note these are identical to just the set) The opportunity cost for this is dependent on your other LC choice
When using 2 choices I will give the least SP negative way to have less turns to ult than the faster of the 2 (Even with Rope + Op none of these let you be any more SP positive without losing turns)
With energy Planar and rope
Every subsequent ult can be done after 3 skills for -1.5 SP per turn This has the opportunity cost of 100.8% BE
With energy rope and Post Op
Every subsequent ult can be done every 3 skills for -1.5 SP per turn (note: this is once again identical to planar instead of Post Op)
With energy Planar and Post Op
Nothing changes from either alone except that the first ult is 1 skill like just Post Op
Now for some slight oddball options
With no energy regeneration rating
You get your first ult after 2 basic attacks Every subsequent ult can be done every 4 basic attacks and 1 skill for 0.75 SP/turn
With all 3
You get your first ult after 1 skill Every subsequent ult can be done every 1 basic and 2 skills for -0.5 SP/turn
Anticipated FAQ:
Why E1? Gallagher’s E1 gives the equivalent energy to using 1 basic attack at the start of the battle, saving a turn to get the first ult, if you have E0 just add 1 turn basic attacking to the existing count
Why Post Op over Huo Huo signature isn’t that more ERR? Yes it is, the original reason was that I am a F2P player and wish for this guide to be useful for F2P players If you would like to know however, the only thing it changes is both LC+something else can switch 1 skill for a basic attack and using HuoHuo sig+energy rope lets you normal 4 times per ult
Why assume Gallagher never gets hit? Why not use Thief 4? Why no ally energy? A main goal of this was for these to be 100% reliable and independent
What’s an opportunity cost? (Just in case people ask) An opportunity cost is a cost to making a choice that comes from the inability to take the other choice. As you can only have 1 rope/Planar set/LC any you dedicate to energy comes at an opportunity cost from the other options

• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not? I recently had a job as a math tutor which I enjoyed very much. Trying to become an engineer, not sure if I will like all of the hands-on stuff but I am a big fan of math and physics.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed? I wouldn't say I would feel refreshed but I would handle it very well and I can keep myself entertained on my own easily for long periods of time.
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities? I don't play sports but I am pretty athletic and I enjoy a little competition. I spend a lot more time inside and I like to solve puzzles (jigsaw/word games), I enjoy reading and also researching random things.
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be? I think I'd make a good leader but I don't like being the person that everyone looks at when something goes wrong. I'd be very open in hearing other people's ideas and I'd treat everyone as my equal.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer. I can't draw, paint, or anything like that to save my life. I do love music, however, if that counts as art, and I am quite proficient at the piano. I also like looking at art and I could spend a day at a museum. I also love listening to music and attending concerts- but who doesn't!
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them? I think about the past a lot, reminiscing on good times and bad ones, thinking about what I did well and what I could have handled differently. I think a lot about the near future but not so much the far future. I have an idealistic plan for my far future that I don't want to over-analyze. I enjoy living in the present as well. I have a love for new experiences and I try to live life to my fullest.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so? I feel so honored that they would want my help and I would do anything in my power to help even a little bit. I would want to do so because I like making people happy and I would want to be seen as reliable and helpful.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses? I learn by doing lots of practice and I dislike learning environments that try to get you to come up with your own conclusions and try to get you to find the answer on your own. I prefer memorization and logic.
• What are your fears? I fear that I will be forgotten or disliked or lonely.
• What do the "highs" in your life look like? Usually moments where I felt really connected with people or succeeding at something I love doing.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like? When I let my thoughts go too far and they distract me from the reality of a situation.
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about? An interpersonal interaction I recently was a part of.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it? A long time, and I rarely change my mind.
• How important are emotions in your life? I use emotions as a stepping stone to reasoning myself through a situation. I like to think through all the possibilities that are causing a certain emotion and I rarely act off of emotions alone.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why? Yes, all the time, because I see where they are coming from so I don't see the point in disagreeing if I haven't fully considered their side of things.
Some other important things about me:

• I prefer listening over speaking. I like being the friend people can go to ab their problems although I wish I was better about making them feel better about them.
  
• I think part of the reason people trust me is because I am really open-minded, empathetic, and I never will disagree with someone if I see where they are coming from (which most of the time I do). I like to help people feel recognized and understood. And I guess part of that is because I want to be recognized and understood too.
  

I think I'm either an ENTP or an INFP. My father (INTP) seems to think I am an ENTP. Most personality tests characterize me as INFP (IDRLabs, Personality Junkie, Socionics, 16P) although the MIchael Caloz said I was an ENTP.

For about a year now, college academics has been stressing out the most. I feel like I'm not living my life happily like most people. I think the biggest problem is I don't know what I'm doing like I don't know what I want and what am I even good at. So it feels like I'm always feeling confused. I'm currently in community college but I have not taken classes for almost 2 semesters now. I had conversations with advisor few times but I was not able to get any clarity. I feel overwhelmed because I was only doing the pre reqs for radiology tech program. My advisor said it's competitive program and probably you will not be accepted. I suggest you take a look into different path. I asked what alternative path could I take but I was suggested business administration, finance or tech. But now my weakness has created boundaries. I'm not good at math or science. I think since idk what to pursue, I'm started to feel doubts. Every year so many kids graduate high school and colleges yet I'm stuck in the same place. Idk whom to contact or ways to solve my situation.

seeing the county for all the past events to me still seems it may still fall into being a problem past the statute of limitations as its most likely still occurring and class action worthy. I'm an a blue state but the RED count of it as the mayor was once a state rep, he also thew some kids againts locker for ackint out and was know to tough the inner thy of youm boys to giv an atta boy. (sometimes in the locker room while seated from the naration i can only best recal from the WTF as it happend to family... I did not shower after atending gym due to a lack of protection.
i do not recall if I ever called him "fagian" to his faces, i don't believe i have, him and his wife had many hate filled comments for both seeming to "swing the other way" but we are a hockey town and do tent to banter well.
however i do feel that the3 lack of having a safe place to shower was an issue, when he became the state representative... as poorly treated as I was in Gym and how goodI was at it, i was the "slow kid" that wasn't slow just keeping up to the pace i could as could and it was so tiresome ....
anyway our county is also well known for its hockey team, and I'd love to have a conversation with the mayor. of not many. one include meeting at center ice, but that's mostly because my teachers were not able to deal with my specific condition that they are still uneducated on even in the ER.
I've had my nerodivergant self be scolded at by teachers with inappropriate content on their computer ( pre HS idk the all the details) however i do remer him swinging a yard stick near my head for gettin a math question wrong, and a history teacher that would snap bras and kick people out of class without any eye contac and was also gilty of poaching>
if you want to know where we whip shitties in MN is right her up nort er ya where we sound canadia, but are not at all. we just like the work they do as the tend to be commuters who put up with too much.
OP's pleas monitor and flag or even block if need if need be I just wish that as a child I had had a better learning experience than people tend to suck.

Hey people. I wanted to share my long ass story about how nitrous used to be one of my most favorite things in the world and now my relationship with it is complicated and twisted.
A lot of this will tackle interpersonal relationship dynamics, but I’m trying to illustrate to the reader the progression of how this drug took my ex’s mind. This is more of a thorough essay about my experience than a rant. When I was going through what I went through at the time, I wished there was a story like this out there to help me know better and understand. This is how I watched the love of my life melt away his brain on this drug.
I will try and keep this brief, but it probably won't be. I wish to convey the addictiveness this drug can have and the toll it can take on your mind and body. In the summer of 2022 I met my then bf who introduced me to the rave scene and drug scene he was a part of. He really only used K and Nitrous (which I will refer to as N going forward). He told me about his 1.5 years of being addicted to K, but did not inform me of his also 1.5 years (at the time) addiction to N. He told me after meeting me he didn’t want to abuse K anymore so as far as I knew when we started dating he got better about that.
It all started very early in the relationship. We went to a weekend festival together and both found doing N together was so fun. We continued on using and abusing N every weekend, and sometimes many weekdays. Probably going through 6 or 8+ tanks a week, this went on for like 3 months. Sadly, I do look back on those days fondly, despite what would happen later down the line. We had so much fun together and yes sadly it bonded us in this weird way. Using it causes you to feel more open and positive in the beginning, and we had so many heartfelt and deep conversations. And it felt like a little special world we could go into together.
At the time I had no clue how much those small-medium sized tanks cost ($65 and up for just one where we live). And he never told me how much they cost, and didn’t ask me to chip in, so I had no idea he was throwing himself into financial ruin buying them all the time. Looking back I have no idea why I didn’t ask, I just figured they were only $25 or something, or his friend was giving them to him, and I was aware it was probably a poor financial decision, but figured he could bounce back after the summer. You have to understand I thought I had him figured out, but I didn’t really know him that well at this point, or know about the drug scene at all. Before this I really only drank and smoked weed with the occasional cid or shrooms trip.
Three months into us dating and abusing N we come to the conclusion we just need to stop and take a break from N as this had all become quite excessive. Still he doesn’t explain to me how much debt he is in from buying all of those tanks over the summer. Two months into the break and he’s starting to crack, asking for me to be okay with us using it regularly. I tell him that I think it’s okay for us to just do it once and awhile. It was hard to not cave in because truthfully I missed it as well, I myself was starting to feel the addictiveness of this drug, so I reserved it so that I only ever did it with him. We go back to doing it occasionally on the weekends. Over the span of 1 month my bf started to constantly complain of having nerve issues, his feet and legs and hands were numb, I also noticed that he seemed really depressed. This is when he started to experience the vitamin B deficiency, although both me and him didn’t realize this at the time.
Around this time is when he finally and unceremoniously reveals to me how much these things actually cost. This is the tricky aspect of his personality I would go on to experience more of. It was clear he was resentful towards me, that I had no idea how much money he was spending, but the reality is if I had known how much those things cost I would have ended it a lot sooner. I didn’t even understand how he had the ability to spend so much money, I don’t even want to do the math. I would find out later he would just take out credit cards and max them out. In addition to him doing them with me occasionally, he was also doing them behind my back, which I had caught him doing several times and was always forgiving over this.
So, because of this constant spending he was in a substantial amount of debt. What he told me at the time was around $6,000. Knowing him, this was probably a generous assessment. This is definitely a point in the story where I should have left him. Clearly he was developing this addiction towards N and spent an ungodly amount of money that was beyond even my comprehension. But, I was head over heels and believed that he could figure this out. People go into debt all the time, I would tell myself. But I told him, this all needed to outright stop. No more N, not even occasionally. Unfortunately while he of course agreed to my face I have to suspect now, he was doing it behind my back all the time. Around this time he wouldn’t come home from work until 7 or 7:30 which didn’t make sense as his hours at work would fluctuate from time to time, but he was usually always off at 5. He would lie and say his work was very busy and made him stay later, which I believed at the time.
Maybe about a month later we are in bed together sleeping, it’s the middle of the night. He wakes me up and explains he literally cannot feel his feet or legs and has been having trouble walking for the past several days. I take him to the ER that night. This night and the following weeks after were some of the most heartbreaking and emotionally terrifying times of my life so far. At this time neither of us had any idea or reason to suspect N was the reason for this. We actually talked to the doctor there and ran tests for over 3 hours, he got an MRI and a spinal tap which was so hard to watch being done to him. It wasn’t until I desperately did research on my phone in the hospital room and suddenly see all of these remarks and reddit posts and studies about N causing paralysis and nerve damage. I tell my bf and the doctor and they have no trouble assessing that is what is causing this. They give him a regiment of vitamin B shots as you typically do in this situation. The doctor even said that they hope they can stop permanent damage from happening, because if not he may lose control of his legs and it may spread to his pelvic area (IE dick don’t work) etc, he had to do physical therapy and see a drug counselor.
The following days and weeks after I was constantly on edge worrying and wondering if my bf and love of my life would lose his ability to walk. Thankfully, the treatment took and he didn’t even end up needing physical therapy. This is when I truly believe or would like to hope he actually quit and wasn’t doing N behind my back. Unfortunately it wouldn’t matter, as I’ve learned, a lot of symptoms of N abuse don’t show themselves until after you stop. Shortly after this event is when our relationship took a nosedive. He had also ditched the drug counselor. To compensate for no N he was drinking so often. He started to become aggressive and violent. I remember it all started in a fight where he got real close and in my face and stared me down to try and intimidate me. In a way it was both terrifying and laughable (because he’s only a few inches taller than me), I couldn’t even comprehend the kind of person he had turned into. After that came the months and months of never ending name calling, insults, degradation, and constant arguments over every little thing I did. He became so addicted to the high of his power trip of making me feel small and weak he would find any excuse to fly into a rage at me, even when we were tripping on mushrooms together.
Nothing was ever the same after that. We didn’t go out, didn’t do dates, and every activity together felt like it was all a big chore to him. I could look in his eyes and see he was constantly thinking about N, and when he would do it next. He really changed, and what I am now realizing is he was probably starting to experience the effects of pure brain damage. My close friends who knew him even agree with me that there is a huge change in his demeanor around this time in April of 2023.
I also want to add more info about his bizarre behavior. He started to develop an unhealthy obsession with social media, scrutinizing what I posted and what he posted. He started to obsess over current events of any kind, any breaking story or ongoing conflict and he would rant and rant about the current state of the world and destruction of humanity all the time. He started to get obsessed with mental health and psychology and pathologize me and himself and other people in our lives. He would send me 10 videos everyday about mental health and relationships and expect me to reply and have a response for every single one like a book report. This obsession with the destruction of humanity turned into a paranoia about the world, he would often say no one understands him, and he is all alone. He turned on his best friends of several years because he was paranoid they were racists or had bad morals (they were all pleasant and nice people who enjoy edgy humor from time to time). There was no more middle ground for anything, you either loved something fully, or hated it fully. Somewhere down the line he actually got his account banned on Instagram for the craziest reason. He couldn’t stop or control himself from having heated arguments with random strangers in comments sections, of almost any video of any topic. He would insult people there constantly.
Here is another big mistake I made.I allowed him to live with me, and we moved in together. At this point we had been dating for a year. Before this I lived on my own and didn’t want to renew my lease, and he was living with his dad who was abusive and financially took advantage of him. At the time I was convinced that this bad behavior would go away if he could get away from his dad and his toxic household. Well the toxicity only followed. That summer we went to another weekend festival and he revealed to me when we got there he had purchased N and brought it. I was so conflicted as I myself had missed it quite a lot, and I had to deny myself my healthy regulated usage of it in order to not trigger him. I caved again and said we could do it only for this weekend. You may not at all be surprised to learn it didn’t end that way.
After the festival everything truly fell apart. He continued to buy tanks of N and do them behind my back constantly. He would say he was just going to his car to talk to his friends, or his mom, and be gone for hours. Because he was totally abusing me and I had no idea because I was under his spell of manipulation, I had no recourse. Any comment of mine asking why he was gone for so long, why can’t he just talk to his friends inside our apartment, I’ll go in the other room for privacy, was only met with complete indifference. These questions only pissed him off. He would say it’s because I was so exhausting and demanding he needed a break from me. When I would call him when he’s on one of these “excursions,” he would every so often mute the call while I was talking or in a silent moment. I eventually realized he was hitting the tank every time he muted himself. When I finally called him out on this he gaslit me and told me he just does this all the time because he coughs and clears his throat, fyi he had never done this before in our relationship. Because I had no recourse I just had to agree and move on. And because his mind was deteriorating more and more each day he would go on to make randomly muting himself in calls as a common, thing so as to keep up the facade he told me. Actual crazy behavior.
He even started doing K again, he would clearly be f-ed out of his mind by both K and N, and stumble around our apartment with crazy red bulging eyes and again and again tell me he was just drunk. Around this time is when he finally divulges to me not only had he been abusing K for the 1.5 years before he met me, he had also been abusing N for 1.5 years before he met me. And it wasn’t actually the case that he only “began” to become addicted to N when we started dating and doing it together. This really started to put a lot into perspective for me, and it made sense how he had almost paralyzed himself over this, now at this current time 3+ year addiction to these substances, and it made me realize how psychologically and cognitively he was failing based on changes in his personality. You also have to understand he explained to me before he met me, he was doing 1.5-2 grams of K or more and N, EVERYDAY.
And still at this time the name calling, insults and manipulation continued. He of course was no longer experiencing any true “high” from the N anymore, it would just simply dull his senses. It was like a stereotypical violent alcoholic husband comes home from the bar and berates his wife, kind of situation, except with N. And I became obsessed with figuring out how to get him to stop and go back to the loving person I remembered meeting and loving. I began to do very toxic things, going through his backpack, going through his car, and constantly always finding tanks and balloons and all kinds of paraphilia everywhere. I would find tanks in our recycling bin, like he actually thought I wouldn’t notice. I would come home late from being with friends and catch him passed out on the couch with an empty tank in his hand. He couldn't be left alone anymore. If he wasn’t with me, 100% of the time he was sitting in his car doing N. At this point in time there was no forgiveness, I was completely broken. I would yell and scream at him or wake him up and demand he stop and choose me or the drugs, all terrible things to be doing. I know that.
Eventually it got so bad I felt I had no other recourse other than to call and inform his mother of his behavior and what he had been doing all this time. Me doing this is probably what saved his life, as there was never anyway I was going to get through to him myself. But it did not save his mental health. Even having his mother involved didn’t stop any of it. He still went out and bought it behind my back like nothing happened. Another painful painful aspect of how his personality had changed is he would constantly have crazy back and forth mood swings, one minute showing me the sweet man I had fallen in love with, thanking me and praising me for having stepped in and put a stop to this, the next minute he hated me and I was the worst thing in his life and I could never tell what was even real anymore.
But did I leave, oh no, that would have been the smart thing to do.Instead at the time I was seeing a therapist who also specializes in couples therapy. I get us started with counseling and during our second session he gets called out by my therapist and yells and screams and berates her, it was actually insane. That is when things really ended between us. He moved out and moved into his moms apartment 30 minutes away that night. Even though the breakup was traumatizing and painful I still had hope that even if he isn’t with me, now he will receive help from his mother. Well, she didn’t place him in any special drug counselor program or rehab, she just severely cut off his finances so that he could pay off his debts, which she had bought back from several banks so it would not gain more and more interest. I do believe now his debt may be somewhere in the $10,000-$20,000 range. So now he, as an almost 30 year old man, needs to ask his mother in order to buy or purchase anything. Somehow, despite all of this I would learn he was continuing to do N and K.
Amazingly, we still tried briefly to even make our relationship work after he moved out. At this point he has mastered the art of manipulation and being fake, and convinced me he was getting better, he had even started to look better too, but he was still up to his old BS. He came over to the apartment once for us to have a mini date. Because he went on and on about how he was getting more and more into walks he said he was going to take a quick stroll around the block to get some fresh air. Well a quick stroll turns into 30 minutes, and I start to notice his car is gone from our street. I call him and he says now he is sitting in his car talking to his mom, I tell him I don’t see his car and it’s been a long time, he clearly had left to buy N. He becomes irate and claims he simply moved his car down the block for “reasons” and I was in the wrong for being accusatory and not trusting him. P.S. I went down the block and he just was not there. This guy is either absolutely crazy or thinks I’m some kind of imbecile, or both. It basically ended from there.
We tried to be civil, but he cannot control himself from completely going ballistic on me anymore, or his mother. And it is so painful when he is remorseful and doesn’t remember all the things he said to me. At this point I have had to realize I am basically talking to and trying to reason with a mentally disabled person. The fun loving, easy going, creative, altruistic, thoughtful, smart and attentive man I met doesn’t exist anymore, and I don’t think he will ever come back. All that remains is the shell of a confused and angry person.
Some small things to address, how it came to be that he abused these drugs all the time before he met me is because his best friend was a drug dealer and in the beginning would give him all of these things for free. Once he was hooked and doing it everyday it seemed he would stop at no end to spend money and buy them. Yes K was definitely a contributor into his mild psychosis but I still think it would have happened even from the N abuse alone, based on research I’ve been doing lately. And yes I have to admit I think he had bad and malignant psychological traits before abusing drugs, and doing that made it all worse.
So that is the story of how I watched this man ruin his life, and scare away maybe the only person who could withstand experiencing all of his BS and still wanted to love and help him. There are SO MANY things I too should have done differently. There is also an age gap between us of 3 years, so I naively thought he had a better handle on his life than he really did. I do find it hard to understand how people can be so addicted at times, but in the end like my ex, everyone is trying to chase some kind of feeling or experience that came with it, rather than the drug itself.
Thank you for reading if you made it to the end.
TLDR: Two years ago I started dating a guy who wasn’t honest with me about his 1.5 years of Nitrous abuse before we started dating. He was a sweet and honest and caring man when I met him. Sadly most of our relationship was spent on doing lots of Nitrous together. He eventually developed health problems like a vitamin B deficiency and even almost got paralysis and permanent nerve damage, which was hard for me to watch and witness. His health issues didn’t deter him away from Nitrous and he was constantly buying tanks and doing it behind my back. The more he abused Nitrous the more abusive towards me he became as a person. Our relationship crumbled and not even getting his mom involved helped. He was also clearly experiencing psychosis and mental deterioration. We broke up because he yelled and screamed at my therapist and he had to move in with his mom. Moving in with his mom didn’t stop his addiction even though she cut off his finances.
Even when we tried to make the relationship work he still abused it anyway. I would now consider him a mentally disabled person and I don’t recognize who he even is anymore after 3+ years of abusing Nitrous almost everyday. Please use Nitrous responsibly or don't at all.

Posting to help myself process the climb and provide thoughts for others thinking about Denali unguided on minimal experience. Open to thoughts and critique from people who know what they're doing. I'm obliged to thank all those who provided their thoughts and guidance to me on this subreddit a year ago. Also, to the guidance from Steve House and the other guy in their YouTube Denali video.
TLDR: Did not summit, learned lots.
It was a great idea... We trained pretty hard in the flatlands... We bought lots of good gear... and some not so good..... We were optimistic.....And realistic, we thought....
But... man, oh man. Denali is BIG, Alaska is BIG. And Talkeetna felt very small after 24 hours.
First alert was assembling our food. We drop shipped almost all the food to our hotel in Anchorage. We got in about 9pm, got everything from the desk and walked over to Wal Mart for the rest. Started packing food into daily rations about 10pm. We thought that would take 30 minutes. Try close to four hours, confusion, second guessing ourselves and each other on quantities, days, recipes. Got to sleep much later than we thought. We both worried that we'd be tired, maybe too tired for when we were dropped off on the glacier the next afternoon. HAH!!
Met Gary the shuttle driver the next morning. Watch some other TRs on YouTube and you'll get to know Gary, friendly, outgoing with good info about Talkeetna. We arrive on time, go through check in and somehow we got bumped out of our Ranger meeting. Come back later and we'll still have time to get to our flight. Did I mention it's overcast with light rain? Go through the ranger meeting, head over to TAT to find that we're 76th and 77th on the waitlist with. "Come back tomorrow at 8am for an update." Two guys we met on the shuttle actually make the plane that day because they understood the process with TAT and were all set to go after the Ranger meeting. Guy at TAT checks us in and takes our $$. No other info is offered or asked for. We're aware we need sleds and wands but we guess they just go on the plane with us.
We find the TAT climbing hostel and are grateful to find two bunks in the same room. My buddy is, not germophobic, but he is right up to that line. We eat at a restaurant that night, figuring, hey, 7 climbers per flight, 11 flights, mid afternoon tomorrow right? We check in at TAT at 8am, they're making waffles and have actually great coffee. But they have no idea if there'll be any flights today. Wander back and forth from the hostel, through town to the airfield. This is day 2 of 16 days we've given ourselves to go up. At day 16, no matter where we are, we go down.
Day 3, repeat day 2 but now we're using the hostel kitchen. I'm cool with the level of hygiene because this is only a level or two beyond how I grew up, when things got chaotic. I'm impressed with my buddy's fortitude, and grateful because I don't want to pay for food when it's already been bought. We hear good news that afternoon about the weather. Buddy suggests we get an AirBnB for this night to get a good nights sleep and clean shower before we likely fly out the next day.
Day 4, the weather starts to clear and now there's real activity at the airfield. My buddy, who doesn't sit still well, joins a group of workers at the airfield digging a trench. I sit on the deck, breathing deeply and hoping we can get out today. Then we get word we're up soon. Then I ask, hey what about sleds and wands? Find out climbers should get this arranged right after check in and we scramble around getting this set up. I grab a sled without looking it over well. As we and our gear are being driven over, I see this sled has some serious cracks and swap for a better one 10 minutes before we fly out.
The flight up is amazing. The transition on the glacier is hectic, a short controversy about which mountain can belongs to who and we get off the landing strip quick. We find a spot to set our tent a fair ways up the hill and get to work melting water for dinner and the next day. Take my skis out in order to prep for tomorrow and find the front straps of my skins have torn and are irreparable. I walk around camp, find a guy who's leaving who sells me his skins for $50. Can't believe how lucky I am. I walk around and get pictures, bury, wand and gps tag our cache. I'm blown away, I'm alive in a way I've only experienced a few other times in my life. I'm excited to get going in the wee hours of day 5. Plenty of days left, right?
Get up and going on time. Feels so good to be hauling the sled, carrying the pack. Going down is helpful. Going on flat and climbing isn't bad. I am working harder than my buddy(MB) from here on. He's 20 years younger and places top 5 in regional ultras, I'm a caboose guy at these. Anyhow, I feel like I'm holding him up, like he's disappointed in our pace. We arrive at 8K camp 8 hours later. MB points out that successful groups do this in 6hrs. I'm reply I'm working at a pace that I believe gets me to 14K in good shape, and what else did you want to do today? Ends fine, we each accept where the other one's at. Set up camp, Denali Pizza (simple and awesome) for dinner. Melt water, pull out the gear, food we'll cache at about 9.5K tomorrow. Good day, amazing as clouds lift a bit and we see more terrain.
Day 6, realize we're not eating 2 bagels each per day. We've over planned with bagels and several other foods. Too much weight but unsure about how to move things around. Lighter packs, lighter sleds and the first real climb. We do good work, talk a bit to teams coming down, most not having summitted. Bury, wand and GPS tag our cache. Tie empty sleds to our packs and head down. When we get to the real down hill, it's trashy, flat light, and I'll own this: I was rattled being off balance with a bit more weight and bulk going down. Got in my head and took some time to descend. MB frustrated or just me in my head? Got back down, did camp work, napped, ate dinner.
Day 7, push up to 11K. Snow picking up and visibility still good. I'm slower than MB again, and even though this is a fact we're both well aware of since we talked about Denali 3 years ago, it's in my head and won't leave that I'm holding us back. We start up the first real climb into 11 camp. Wind blown snow is making wands hard to see, we're using his Garmin to verify the route. The skins I bought at the airfield don't cover the width of my skis at the tips and tails. As we're taking an aggressive elevation gain on switchbacks, I'm slipping more and more with less skin to snow contact. We crest the rise and hike through the camp to find a spot at the uphill end. We begin setting up camp. I mention looking forward to having a kitchen tent now that we'll be in the same place for 3 days. MB basically says, go ahead but I don't think we need that and I won't be part of digging it out or setting it up. I get started probing an area, setting the outline of the dig and then realize this will take me hours and give up. Dinner, melt water, discuss tomorrow's back hauling. I propose we boot down from 11 camp and put skis on at the base of the climb and MB seems okay with it.
Day 8, wake up to heavy snow. Dig out our enclosure and have breakfast. Put more food we didn't eat into the "carry forward bag" which is getting heavier by the meal. Dig out again, and again, and again. Mid-afternoon we start getting weather reports through garmin in-reach texts with a guy back home and from other teams and guides. Consensus in 6 more days of this but up to 48" per day. I run the math: 8+6=14. Hmmm: 16-14=2. Then I run the flights per day math and number of teams we've seen descending, number of teams likely to descend with this forecast. My math says we could be stuck here 6 days and at the airfield for that or more. All for 2 more possible days of ascent. MB disagrees and wants to wait it out. We walk through various scenarios and I hold firm. MB agrees we'll go down because we both agreed if one wanted to go down for any reason, that was that. MB is a guy who holds to his word in this and all aspects of life.
We pack up. Fast...and sloppy. We want to fly out tomorrow. I'm not excited anymore, I'm anxious and want off Denali. Not be in a tent for two weeks in snow. We boot down the hill below 11 camp, put on skis and find our cache at 9.5, combine stuff. I get my stuff packed well. We start down. The track is blown in and we are navigating entirely by Garmin, using the standard route. Not reversing our climb up, which followed the visible track and wands. Are we actually on safe snow? We're both thinking that question but not saying it out loud. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I'm in front setting the track so MB's sled has something to ride in. If he's in front, his sled tips over. He's calling directions to me for the route, "Left...more left...rightish... too far."
We head down the last hill into 8 camp. I allow my sled to be in front of me and steer it like reins on a horse. Snow plow, keep it slow and things are moving along fine for me. MB wipes out over and over. Repacks his sled and gets down the last 200 yards well. We ski right through 8 camp. Someone asks if we're headed down and then says that if we call in to the airfield from there, we're already in line. True or not, we're finishing this in one push. Visibility is still about 15 feet but now we have a track to follow. We're both cautious with the downs. Don't know if we need to let it rip to go up again or if there's a corner we need to be slow for. We get to the airfield in 9.5 hours. Dig up our cache and consolidate our gear.
MB decides he'd rather not cowboy camp with the fly and we set up the tent and go to sleep. Up at the appointed hour and get in the flight queue. The guy says he'll give us plenty of notice so we can take down our tent, IF we fly out today. I am now watching every cloud for signs of building or diminishing. A few planes fly in, circle and leave. We're napping on and off.
Then I hear the guy yelling, "that's your plane". It's being loaded. We're 200 yards away in our fully set up tent, pads and bags. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK. I go down and ask "what happened?" "I don't know, two guys snaked your flight." Talk a bit more about other stuff, what he's been reading, we're into some similar literature. He then guarantees we'll be on the next flight that comes in, whether today or tomorrow. I'm listening for airplanes full on now, just want to get down and be off the mountain.
We do get on a flight that day, get a hotel and move flights and shuttle to fly out of Anchorage tomorrow. I walk down by the river and call my wife. "Honey, this will sound weird, I need you to tell me I'm really off the mountain and not dreaming." This helps a lot.
We make all our connections and fly out, get back home the next day. If you got this far, thanks, I guess. It's cathartic to write all this down. I replay this trip or parts of it every couple weeks even now. MB and I did our repair work and still call, text, hang out, run together when I'm in town. I do not regret going one bit, yet not getting further up still hits me hard. My fears and reaction to niggling discomforts on the mountain tell me I'm weak.
If I did it again:

1. No skis on Denali for me. I'm a competent skier and can get down serious stuff out west without embarrassing myself. A pack and a sled skiing down through crud with low visibility? Snow shoes all...the...way.
   
2. 4 people, not two. Enough guys to set up a kitchen tent, split camp duties into smaller tasks. I need a place to spread out, talk, cook and eat in a comfortable position.
   

2A. Allow way more time, a month total.

1. Better conversations about pace and relative speed well before the trip.
   
2. We did ropes work, simulated crevasse rescue, camped out in -10F. More time winter camping and skinning in the woods together.
   
3. MB and I climbed Mt Adams. We summitted Rainier together unguided in 8/2022. Took a 3 day custom guided mountaineering class in 12/2021 to learn skills. Didn't go above 7K in the class. Handled our shit well for two days. Not enough time to really know what we're in for physically and work through team frictions about pace, leisure time, camp life. Maybe we could have climbed Rainier and Baker on the same trip? Maybe spend several days at Camp Muir and summit twice? Climb Rainier early season?
   
4. Guided if I try again? Maybe.
   

I read this back and the inner critic says, "I'm a whiny bitch", just like when I am thinking about it every couple weeks. If I go back it can't be about that, not trying to prove that voice wrong. If I go back...it'll be because of that alive feeling I got on the airfield glacier, to have it again, to avail myself of a second chance to live a dream.
Thanks for reading all this. Part confessional, part TR.
I feel better.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to be dead in the next 24 hours.
Whether that's the Costella family, or whatever this is, I'm not sure.
The police are taking forever, and part of me knows they're either refusing to believe me, or RC got them too.
I'm holed up on our school bus, so I've got nothing better to do.
I want to tell you about my team.
We met in our sophomore year.
Strangers standing outside the club room.
Levi was the freckled brunette who wouldn't stop talking about Game of Thrones.
Sunny, a pretty redhead, told him to shut up.
Tom, a sandy blonde, nodding his head to music corked in his ears.
I just wanted to be part of a club, and get away from my overbearing mother.
I won't say it was a perfect start. Our school was lacking in funding, so anyone could join, which made us more of a Quiz Club. I had some serious anxiety, so I stayed on the sidelines for a while, watching, rather than taking part.
It's not like we actually talked to each other initially. The first few weeks, we played Jeopardy, and attempted to find more members to cement us as an official Academic Decathlon club.
Unfortunately, though, it was just the four of us.
Which made it extremely hard for us to be taken seriously.
According to Google, Academic Decathlon teams were made up of nine members, placed by their GPA.
Our principal laughed at us, but he did let us become official.
Which was out of pity, I assumed.
The club was assembled, and we started meeting up after school.
Sort of.
Sunny barely showed up, and Levi didn't take anything seriously, preferring to spend the time telling us about his weird family turf-war.
Our principal dumped us in a tiny classroom with a resident rat living under the floorboards.
There was barely enough room to move, and the four of us crammed together for three hours was less than appealing.
Still, though, I wanted to be part of a club.
I had grown up with parents who were obsessed with board games, so I was pretty good at general knowledge questions. Our club room was too small for anything else but three desks (Sunny and I shared one) and a whiteboard we had to shove through the door.
But, again, we didn't start as an Academic club.
It was more akin to Story Time Club.
Arriving late on my third day, armed with quiz cards from home, I found Tom and Sunny completely mesmerised by Levi’s storytelling skills, drowned in shadow.
They didn't even turn the lights on.
I strictly remember squeezing next to Sunny, and hearing the words, “But there was so much blood all over the floor, and my Mom told me to go upstairs and hide under the bed…”
Sitting in front of them was Levi, perched on a desk, his legs swinging, a whiteboard marker between his teeth.
Sometimes he'd get up, and illustrate parts of his story.
It sucked that his drawings were all stick people.
I won't go into full details of his life, but Levi grew up as part of a family who had… interesting methods of making a living. I had seen the guy’s father multiple times when we hung out at his place, and, yeah, my friend’s family definitely had Soprano vibes.
Levi’s Draw My Life was nothing to do with the club, but it did bring us closer.
Even if, at that point, I was considering leaving.
But it's not like it was easy to walk away from these guys. It's like finding your soulmates. Levi wasn't the only one with an interesting life. Sunny Lang was an ex kpop trainee, who was kicked out for being too fat, which led her to develop a severe eating disorder, and a hatred for her own body.
Sunny explained her family were originally from Boston, her mother growing up in Korea.
She signed up for an idol agency focusing on creating a new girl group, and had gotten all the way to the final stages, before being kicked for her weight. Sunny told us her story with a smile, though there was a hollowness in her eyes I couldn't ignore. The other girls were judgemental bullies, and the idol diet and brutal regime almost killed her.
Sunny lived in a tiny apartment with 9 girls, who would tear each other apart for a chance to debut. Sunny said all the other girls debuted, and when we (not so patiently) asked for names, she shrugged, admitting she signed an NDA that prevented her spilling the beans.
What she did say, was the K-pop idol is a product, not a person– and are made and moulded into a product.
She had zero interest in throwing her humanity away to become a manufactured doll.
So, one of us was the son of an underground family, and the other was an ex idol.
Tom was an aspiring horror writer with a famous older step-brother.
His story times were usually, That one time I went to the Met Gala.
When it was my turn to reveal my story, I told them the only interesting thing about me.
I could smell when something bad was going to happen.
They laughed, but I was being serious.
When I was a kid, I smelled my mother’s brain tumor.
I remember it smelled like curdled milk.
I asked Mom why her head smelled of mouldy milk, and Mom laughed and said it was her shampoo.
It was actually a grade two tumor growing inside her brain.
Thankfully, the tumour was found quickly and removed.
Growing older, I became sensitive to smell. The little girl choking on the bus smelled of singed wood, and the old man crossing the road stunk of gasoline.
In the fourth grade, my classmate Alex Castor smelled of lemons all morning.
I sat behind him, choking on the stink all the way through class.
Ever since I met him, Alex had always smelled… off.
It was a distinct smell I could never understand, and as the days and months and years went by, that smell morphed into a subtle orangey musk that was so strong I had to cover my mouth and nose. Then, he smelled like lemons.
During Recess, I watched Alex fall off of the jungle gym, straight onto his head.
Alex Castor was dead before the paramedics arrived, my panicked teacher attempting CPR when his brains were leaking out of his ears.
The school claimed it was an accident, but Alex would have been fine if the jungle gym wasn't built on solid concrete.
I told my team members this, and Levi was sceptical.
“You can smell bad things?” He said, his lips curved around his milkshake straw. In the early days, we hung out in the local bar. It's not like we were allowed inside, but Levi could get us in anywhere.
I was squeezed between Tom and Sunny, while Levi took the seat opposite us. I couldn't help noticing our waitress was insisting on free milkshake refills, her frantic eyes glued to Levi.
I had zero idea why. Levi Costella was about as intimidating as a fruit fly.
Wearing a white shirt with a popped collar, a leather jacket thrown over the top, Levi was giving rebellious Harvard student, rather than son of a crime family.
Leaning forward, he raised a brow, clearly not believing me.
“So, you're like a stink psychic?”
I shrugged, sipping my own shake.
“Sure.”
I wasn't planning on telling him the club room smelled off on our first day.
Once we actually started the club, Levi surprised us as the smartest member, and getting to know him further, I came to the realization his family were infamous in our town.
However, his parents hid it well. Lucy and Michael Costella were the owners of a popular ramen store in our town, hiding under the facade of two successful business owners. The Costella’s were an attractive family.
Lucy was a sophisticated brunette with a lipstick smile, Michael, a handsome fluffy haired man who looked like he modelled glasses.
The two were fiercely protective over their youngest son, not so casually reminding us behind grinning smiles, that if anything happened to Levi, we would automatically be involved in the family.
I mean, they did laugh and say, “We’re joking! Look at your little faces!” when Sunny went deathly pale. But there was definitely truth behind their words.
Being Levi’s friend was… challenging at first.
Tom and I were in his room studying for finals, and an alarm went off, flooding Levi’s room in red light.
I had zero idea where it was coming from, but it locked all the doors and windows, forcing the Costella residence into temporary lockdown. Levi didn't seem fazed, casually mentioning his parents were taking care of it.
He had a whiteboard set up in his room, and was standing in front of it, cramming all of our textbook notes into one easily digestible drawing.
Levi wasn't just smart.
He was Ivy League smart, so we had struck gold with him.
His family were questionable, and yes, sometimes I did fear for my life, but as the more time we spent at his house, the Costella household became a second home. We got used to the alarms.
I just brought along ear plugs.
I wish I was writing this post about Levi’s family, and sure, they are a factor in what is going on right now, but I want to preface this by saying the events below involve the 2024 scholastic decathlon final in our town with the school’s listed:
Starbrook High School.
Ratcliffe High School.
Please note, the incident that took place last night was immediately covered up, and all phone footage was destroyed. Our town is mostly out of the way, and does not show up on Google searches.
We also have our own version of the academic decathlon, which is a more town-level competition, due to lacking funds. The four of us were desperate to start competing with our schools.
So, we started taking things a little more seriously.
We got a coach.
Mr Hanes, who was hesitant at first.
In his words, “You will hate me as your coach.”
He started by recruiting more members, announcing, “If you want to be taken seriously as an actual club, then I'll be taking the reins from now on.”
He did, and with our teachers guidance (and sometimes brutal honesty), we reached a level where we could start competing with other school’s in town. Now, none of us knew this, but Mr Hanes was obsessed with winning.
So, club meetings were twisted into two hour study sessions with no talking, followed by Mr Hanes Jeaprody, which was Jeaprody, without the actual fun.
We were quizzed multiple times, answer cards and practise questions quite literally thrown directly in our faces.
I hate to admit this (I really hate to admit this) but Mr Hanes’s tactics worked. Sure, we had been mildly brainwashed by our slightly unhinged coach, but with Levi Costella, we destroyed our competitors. Like I said, our town held their own version of the academic scholastic decathlon, but it was pretty much the same, with some changes.
Ten subjects. Language and Literature, Math, Social Science, Economics, Art, Music, Interview, Speech, and Essay.
Unlike the official Decathlon, ours was more like a game show, with the ability to be knocked out if a team member answers a question wrong. Whoever answers the most questions correctly wins. Team meet ups were either tests, study sessions, or quizzing each other.
Which leads me to last night.
The finals were held in the reigning champions, Ratcliffe High School’s, auditorium.
And we were about to win our town’s Scholastic Decathlon 2024 Championships.
Well…I was knocked out in the music section. Standing next to my coach who I was sure was going to asphyxiate from excitement, I could smell the sudden potent stink of lemon. I tried to ignore it at first, but the more questions my team were answering correctly, the smell got worse, suffocating my senses.
This wasn't just lemon. The stink was like a burning, singing smell trickling into my nose and the back of my throat.
It was stronger than what Alex smelled like.
This was suffocating, drowning my thoughts.
“Are you okay, Cassandra?”
Mr Hanes nudged me when a Ratcliffe girl was struggling to answer a question, only for Sunny to jump in with the answer. “You look quite pale.”
I nodded, forcing a smile.
My gaze was on the Ratcliffe coach, a scary looking blonde woman, whispering in one of her student’s ears.
The Ratcliffe kid freaked me out. He was way too tall, dark blonde hair, and bulging eyes I swear were not blinking.
His gaze was glued to Levi, who wore a smug grin.
There was a smaller girl next to the Ratcliffe kid, a Macbook balanced on her knee. Every so often, he leaned into her, the two of them in deep conversation.
“I'm just nervous.”
I jumped when Ratcliffe scored a point, their side erupting into cheers.
During the break, we had a mini team meeting.
Sunny rushed to the bathroom to freshen up, and I noticed a Ratcliffe girl with a bouncing ponytail following her.
Ignoring our coach’s speech, I joined the two girls in the corridor, that lemony scent hanging thick in the air.
I caught them in an awkward position.
The Ratcliffe girl had her fingers pinched between the material of Sunny’s dark blue shirt bearing our school’s name.
Sunny looked confused, her lips parted like she was going to yell.
Ponytail dropped her hand, suddenly, with a nervous laugh. “Oh! I'm so, so, sorry,” she gushed. “You had, like, the biggest spider crawling on your back.”
Sunny caught my eye, shooting me a reassuring smile.
“Thanks.” She made sure to keep her distance. “Uh, where's your bathroom?”
The Ratcliffe girl nodded down the hallway. “It's just down there. I'm going there too if you want me to show you?”
Sunny motioned for me to go back to the auditorium. “Uh, sure! That'd be great!”
I did try to follow them, only for Sunny to cough loudly.
I took the hint, reluctantly heading back into the auditorium.
My team was hyping each other up, Levi in the centre, sweating through his team shirt. He ran a trembling hand through his hair. “I can't do this,” He groaned. “Ratcliffe High is known to play dirty, man. They're unbeatable.”
“In what way do they play dirty?” I asked, joining them.
Levi gulped down water, shrugging.
“I dunno! They're already trying to distract me with the stink eye.” The boy narrowed his eyes at a grinning Ratcliffe kid who, after noticing our stares, jumped to his feet, waving at us.
“Hey guys!”
“That's Harry Cartwright, the son of the Cartwright family who tried to kill my parents in the third grade.” Levi mockingly waved back. “As you can see, their kid is a fucking sociopath.”
Huh. I wasn't expecting the smiley kid to be the mobster’s son.
Harry Cartwright was not what I expected.
Unlike his team members, he was the only one in casual clothing, a short sleeved white shirt and jeans, a pair of sunglasses perched on top of his head.
Tom went pale.
“Fuck.” He hissed. “He’s one of you? Then those bastards will have a reason to play dirty, right?”
Levi shrugged, averting his gaze. It was the first time I saw his eyes darken, like he was subtly telling the boy to back off.
“The Cartwright’s have been trying to buy our land for a while,” he muttered. “I wouldn't put it past them to use the Decathlon as a way to attack.”
“Attack?!” April, another member of our team, hissed. “Like, attack attack?”
Mr Hanes grabbed the boy, resting his hands on Levi’s shoulders. “Ignore them,” he said. “Hey. Look at me.”
Levi did, raising a brow.
“You're losing that spark in your eye, young man.”
“Spark?”
Our coach nodded. “Look at me, kid.”
Levi rolled his eyes. “I am looking at you, Mr Hanes.”
The man was shaking. I was guessing his whole career (or coaching career) was on the line.
“They know they're losing, Mr Costella.”
Hanes shook the boy, squeezing his shoulders. “You are being positive and Ratcliffe doesn't like that. They want you to be nervous. They want to make you second guess yourself and lose confidence. Don't let them get into your head.” he smiled, giving the boy a playful shove. “Kick their asses.”
“Exactly!”
I didn't realize Sunny was back from the bathroom.
The faint smell of lemons had followed her. I noticed a wet patch on her shirt collar, though she was quick to smile at me, admitting she'd spilled water down herself. Sunny wrapped her arms around Levi, squeezing him into a hug.
She hung on for a little too long, Tom dragging her away with a laugh. “Good luck, all right?” she backed away, ruffling his hair. “We’ve got this!”
When I hugged Levi good luck too, I had to resist covering my nose.
The smell of lemon was unbearable, just like fourth grade Alex.
But it wasn't as potent as earlier.
I vaguely remembered the smell starting to fade once Alex’s body was being carted away on a stretcher.
Following my captain through the crowd, I was right. The smell was less suffocating. Before he went back to the stage, I grabbed the back of his shirt.
The material was soaking wet.
“How are you so wet?” I said, swiping my hands on my shirt.
“Huh?”
I shook my head. “Never mind. Do you remember what I told you in sophomore year?”
Levi settled me with a confident, but nervous smile. “Thaaaat you're scared of clowns?”
“No. I mean the boy who smelled of lemons.” I gritted out.
Levi surprised me with a laugh. “What are you talking about?”
Something ice cold trickled down my spine.
Levi did know what I was talking about. He brought up my stink sense a day earlier in front of his parents, and I had to cover his mouth to shut him up.
Leaning close, I whispered in his ear. “You stink of rotten lemons.”
He nodded slowly, pulling away. “Uh… thanks?”
I bit back a hiss of frustration. “No, you don't understand what I'm saying–”
“Starbrooke High School,” The host announced. “Can all members please return to the stage.”
Levi held up his hand for a high five.
“Can we do this later?” He winked. “I'm kinda busy carrying this spelling-bee on my back right now.”
I nodded shakily, high fiving him, and letting him jump back onto the stage.
Before his words hit like a tidal wave, ice cold water slammed into me.
Spelling Bee?
Slowly making my way back to the stands, Levi’s mistake was circling around my head. He did win a spelling bee, but that was in middle school.
Thankfully, the smell of lemons was gone when I returned to my seat.
Mr Hanes handed me a soda. “Chill out, Cassandera, it's just a game.”
He could talk. The guy was on his fifth coffee.
Mr Hanes was not chilled out in the slightest.
Surprisingly, the event went well. I was half expecting my team to be crushed by the rafters, or caught in a blaze started in the crowd. But we were doing well. No, we were winning.
Reaching the climaxing round, Sunny choked against a smug Ratcliffe boy, joining me on the sidelines.
Levi answered the next question with a confident smile.
We were winning, but Ratcliffe could still catch up with a miracle.
The second to last question was to Ratcliffe, and it was general knowledge.
”Where on the human body would one find the *orbit?*
I knew the answer, and so did Levi, his lips breaking out into a smile when the Ratcliffe boy was hesitating, eyes wide.
Our school’s buzzer went off, Levi slamming his hand down.
Bzzz!
The host turned to our team. “Starbrooke, can I have your answer?”
Levi nodded, shooting our team a victory grin.
“It's…!“ He opened his mouth to answer, his jaw slackening suddenly.
The boy’s shoulders slumped.
“Uh… “
“Um…”
“Huhhhhh…”
Levi inclined his head, blinking, his eyes glazing over. There was a sudden, hollow vacancy that sent chills down my spine. It was like someone had reached into his skull, and yanked out his brain, leaving a shell in his place.
To my confusion, our team captain frowned at his buzzer like he'd never seen one before. He pressed it, exploding into child-like giggles.
Bzzz!
The audience laughed along nervously.
Tom nudged me. “What the fuck is he doing?”
Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz!
Levi’s entire body was slumped, his hand slamming down on the buzzer.
I caught something pooling down his chin.
“Is he… drooling?” I whispered.
Mr Hanes looked mildly horrified. “Has he been drinking?
“Levi?” Tom spluttered. “Drinking?!"
Whatever we were watching, however, was definitely influenced by… something.
Bzz. Bzz. Bzz. Bzz. Bzz!
“Young man, that is not a toy!”
The host wasn't amused. “Starbrooke High School, I need an answer from you,” He nodded to Levi, who was pressing the buzzer, his smile growing.
“Once again,” The host backed away, like Levi was contagious. “Where on the human body would one find the Orbit?”
Levi cocked his head, lips parted.
His gaze found the overhead lights, and he winced, his lips curling into a frown.
“Starbrooke High School!”
Levi jumped, tipping his head back and blowing a raspberry. “Palm tree?”
The audience laughed, and I started feeling nauseous.
Across from us, I could see the twist of a smirk on the Ratcliffe coach’s lips.
Bzzz! Levi slammed the buzzer again giggling.
“Starbrooke High School, if your team member continues to act like this, I will be forced to disqualify all members.”
Our captain stopped, gaze glued to the host, his hand creeping towards the buzzer, like it was a big red button.
The audience loved it, laughing like they were watching a sitcom.
“He wouldn't.” Tom whisper-shrieked.
The auditorium was silent for a moment, awaiting Starbrooke’s response.
Levi stuck out his tongue, slamming his hand down.
Bzzz! Bzzz! Bzzz! Bzzz! Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz–
When Tom dragged Levi away from his podium, a Ratcliffe girl hit her buzzer.
“Starbrooke High School, you are disqualified,” the host announced. “Ratcliffe High School, do you have an answer?”
It was Ponytail who nodded with a grin.
“The answer is the eye socket! The Orbit is part of the eye socket!”
“That is the correct answer.” The host was distracted, his eyes glued to Levi.
“Ratcliffe High School wins.”
Levi jumped when the Ratcliffe wide erupted into cheers.
His eyes were wide, clinging onto the buzzer for comfort.
Next to me, our coach looked like he was going to faint.
I barely noticed Ratcliffe’s victory, too busy watching our team captain, who was Harvard bound, tipping his head back and smiling at the ceiling like a new-born baby. Tom dragged the stumbling boy over to me, his mouth twisted.
“This was Ratcliffe, right?” He hissed, shaking our captain, who was struggling, squirming in his grip.
“Did they put something in his drink?!” He prodded Levi. “Hey! What did they do to you?!”
Still, though, drugging his drink didn't make sense.
Levi never left the auditorium, and kept his water bottle with him the whole time.
How did they even manage to slip something into his drink in the first place?
Did I smell our competitors drugging him?
Sure, intentionally inebriating my teammate was morally wrong and illegal, but why could I smell lemon?
“I doubt it was Ratcliffe.” Sunny squeezed next to me. “I've been watching them. They're harmless.”
“Then how the fuck do we explain this to his parents?!” Tom whispered, grappling with Levi, who was fighting to get back to the buzzer.
When Tom let go of him, he dropped onto the floor, crawling over to his podium. It was like watching a child.
Who was determined to piss off the adults.
Levi jumped back to instead feet, his gaze was glued to the host, a smile curved on his lips, when he slammed the buzzer again.
Bzzz!
“Someone, please remove the Starbrooke boy from the stage!”
I was embarrassed, our whole team ducking our heads as our captain was forcibly removed from the podium.
Mr Hanes grabbed Levi, pulling him off of the stage.
I expected our coach to be mad at him, but I think the teacher was more worried, a phone pressed to his ear while he forced the boy into a sitting position.
No, I don't think it's influence from alcohol, I could hear his conversation.
Levi kept trying to get up, mesmerised by the buzzer. The teacher was firm but gentle. “Hey. Sit down, all right? Keep still.” He went back to his phone call, gently prying Levi’s eyes open.
From what I can see, there's nothing wrong. He's just kind of…
Mr Hanes swiped his own hands on his jeans. ... wet?
Team Ratcliffe came over to rub it in our faces, though I was still tuned into our coach’s hissed whispering.
Water? No, I don't think it's water. It smells… no, I haven't told his parents…
“You guys did awesome!” Ponytail's voice was sugary sweet. Too sugary.
She held the 2024 trophy, bearing a satisfied smile. I noticed the Ratcliffe members were surrounding Harry, like guards.
“Better luck next time, okay?” She held out her hand, her eyes twinkling.
“No hard feelings?”
“Control your dog.” Harry said, amused eyes flicking to Levi, who was once again sprinting back to the fucking buzzer. His eyes had visibly darkened, lips curled into a triumphant smile.
Harry Cartwright was watching Mr Hanes chase our team captain like it was his own personal entertainment.
I had to look away before I died of second hand embarrassment.
“What did you put in his drink?” Tom demanded. “Weed? Edibles?” the boy attempted to shove Harry, only to be pushed back. “What the fuck did you do to him?”
Harry’s smile didn't waver. “Like I said. Control your mut.”
When the Ratcliffe team walked away, our red faced coach struggling with Levi, who was behaving progressively more erratically, informed us we were longer welcome inside the school.
Tom suggested calling an ambulance, but our coach was hesitant.
We all knew who Levi’s family were.
On the way out, Tom matched my stride. He was frowning at our team captain struggling to walk.
The way he was acting was already eyebrow raising.
But walking at an angle and being unable to stand up straight was worrying.
“I don't think they drugged his drink.” Tom muttered.
We pushed through the doors out of the school, and I revelled in the cool night air grazing my cheek. “If they did, he would be acting out of it, right? So, what's the deal with him acting like–”
“A child.” I finished for him.
“Yeah.” Tom leaned closer. “Do you think this has something to do with their turf war?”
I slapped at a bug creeping across my cheek.
Levi fell over again, this time bursting into giggles.
“Almost definitely.”
Levi was right about Ratcliffe playing dirty. I didn't realize how dirty until we were on the losers bus home. Levi was in the seat next to me, and the kid hadn't moved since we left Ratcliffe, his eyes wide, lips pulled into a dazed grin.
Bzzz!
The noise startled me from slumber. I was drooling, my head pressed against the window. Outside, the sky was pitch dark, and squinting through the glass, I couldn't get a bearing on where we were. I thought I was hearing things, but when I sat up, I heard it again.
Bzzz!
It was close.
Leaning over the boy, I glimpsed a smear of scarlet on his headrest.
I choked on my next words.
“Tom.”
Tom was in front of me, listening to music.
He didn't reply, his head of dark blonde curls nodding to the beat.
“Levi.” I managed to get out. I prodded him, and his head lolled into his shoulder. “Hey. Can you… sit up?”
Bzzz! Bzzz!
When the boy didn't move, I gently grabbed his shoulders and pulled him forward myself, something contracting in my stomach.
I don't know how long it takes for your mind to fully register something, but my body was already reacting.
Levi’s seat was infested with bugs, eating their way through the upholstery. I was aware of my body moving back. I threw up, instantly, screaming into my hand.
The back of my best friend's skull resembled a deflated soccer ball, what was left of his brain leaking from his skull where a swarm of skittering bugs chewed their way through brain tissue, metallic legs scratching the curved, pearly white of the base if his skull.
Levi’s head hung, his body flopping into mine.
But his eyes were still open, lips still stretched into a smile.
Blood ran in thick rivulets from his nose and ears.
Bzzz!
I could see them, black writhing dots alive in his eyes, wriggling movement under his skin.
“Tom!”
I jumped up, stumbling into the aisle, my stomach heaving.
And it was only when I was on my knees, swiping bile from my lips, when I realized the others weren't reacting.
Tom wasn't moving.
I pulled an Airpod out of his ear, a long, slithering string of pink attached to the end.
There was a stray bug skittering across his hand, his face starting to twitch and writhe.
Moving back, I checked myself over, my hands shaking.
Head.
Shoulders.
Hair.
Clawing through it, my breath was stuck in my throat.
Arms.
Legs.
Feet.
Mr Hanes was slumped against the window, a reddish froth bubbling from his mouth.
Sunny.
I started towards the back of the bus, but all I had to see was her bowed head, half of her skull chewed through.
Sunny was in a far more deteriorated state, her face had been ripped through, a skeletal smile glinting in the dim.
The thick black smear on the window next to her was moving.
When I screamed for the driver to stop the bus, he ignored me.
If anything, he stamped on the gas.
I moved forward to shake him, before glimpsing a bug creeping down his face.
Calling 911, the operator laughed at me.
“Bugs are eating your friends.” He said. “Do you know the penalty for calling with bullshit pranks?”
The bus didn't stop, so I stayed at the front, while the bugs took over the back, eating through my teammates.
After four hours, I risked leaning over the seat next to Tom to check on Levi.
They were eating him.
Chewing all the way through skin, muscle and bone.
I tried to stop the bus, but the driver’s hands were tightly wrapped around the wheel.
Another hour, and blood was seeping down the aisle, crawling with bugs.
Levi was gone, and in his place, a buzzing skittering pile of bugs, that I thought were going to move to a second victim, maybe burrowing into the seats.
But, no.
These things began to tremble, replicating.
Building.
Slowly, nothing became static, and static became muscle.
Then bone.
Then flesh.
When a body began to slowly form, moulded from the dead boy, I stumbled back.
These things weren't eating Levi Costella.
They were rewriting him.
…
Edit: I'm still on the bus. I'm 99.9% sure that I'm infected with whatever this thing is. I can't stop fucking itching.
I keep picking them off me but they won't stop. This bus isn't going to stop until I'm like the others.
…
Edit 2:
I can feel them chewing into my skull. They're in my ears. I keep spitting them out. Please, someone get them off of me. Help me. I don't want to die at 17.
Edit 3:
Still alive. Still breathing. Maybe they're leaving me alone????? I think I'm okay. There is a pile of bugs at my feet, but they're crawling off of me.
Edit 4:
Levi really wants to go home. Like, he just told me he REALLY wants to go home. He's got a gift for his parents.
~~Edit 5 :) ~~
Levi is next to me right now, an odd smile on his face.
The bugs are not finished building him yet, but he'll be ready soon.
We will be ready soon.
Your son says hello! He is a wonderful boy, is he not?
Mr and Mrs Costella, I cannot wait for you to meet him.
He is our greatest achievement, and rest assured, you will give us what we want.
Warm regards.
The Cartwright's.