• don’t remember a time before internet and always had it at home as long as i can remember
• was alive for y2k and 9/11 but don’t remember them
• first movies i remember going to the theater for were brother bear, home on the range and shrek 2
• favorite cartoons growing up were spongebob, fairly oddparents, winx club, powerpuff girls and pokemon (not gonna say which season)
• favorite gaming consoles as a kid were the ps2 and wii
• got my first phone at age 7, it wasnt a smartphone but it had access to the internet (it was very slow and expensive tho)
• got my first smartphone at age 13
• grew up playing games like gta san andreas, the sims 2, pokemon emerald, pokemon pearl, guitar hero etc and flash games online like stardoll, club penguin, barbiegirls.com, polly pocket’s website etc
• was on msn messenger by age 7-8
• made my twitter account when i was 12 and i made a facebook account around that time too so i could play farmville
• when i was 15 my high school gave all students tablets to replace the books in class but i used it to play fruit ninja bc im an awful student
• was obsessed with vine as a teen
• used to love smosh as a kid
• grew up in the golden age of disney channel with hannah montana, wizards of waverly place, jonas brothers, thats so raven etc and icarly/drake and josh on nick
• wasnt a teen anymore when the pandemic hit

Hey there, fellow FarmVille 2: Country Escape enthusiasts! Are you on the hunt for ways to boost your farm without breaking the bank? You've come to the right place! Today, we're diving into the world of free keys and coins - the lifeblood of our farming operations. Whether you're an Android farmer or an iOS agriculturist, we've got some tricks up our sleeve to help you maximize your farm's potential.
Let's get those barns filled without spending a dime!

Online Generators - Unlimited Keys and Coins Hack for Android & iOS

In our quest for free keys and coins in FarmVille 2: Country Escape, we're starting with a resource you might have heard of but are unsure about - online generators. Now, hold on! Before you scroll away, hear me out. There's a sprinkle of truth in the sea of online tales. Yes, amidst the ocean of the internet, a few online generators are not just fish tales; they're actual treasure chests waiting to be unlocked.
Imagine this: You're just a few clicks away from filling your FarmVille pockets. These handy tools are pretty straightforward. All they usually ask for is your username and how many goodies you're aiming to haul in. And voila! You're on your way to riches.
For instance, check out this cool link that many farmers like us have been talking about.
It's tailored for both Android and iOS users, ensuring everyone gets a piece of the pie.
What's great about these online gems? First off, they're quick. We're talking instant gratification, folks. Unlike the slow grind of daily tasks, these generators can puff up your stash in no time. Plus, they're easy-peasy to use. No complicated steps or tech wizardry required - just your username and your dream amount of keys and coins. And safety? While the internet can be a wild west, there are safe havens. The legit ones are like Fort Knox; they're all about keeping your info secure, minus the password sharing, of course.
So, while keeping our digital pitchforks at bay, remember to tread carefully. Not all that glitters is gold, but with a keen eye and a bit of farmer's wisdom, you might just strike it rich in FarmVille 2: Country Escape. Stay tuned for more tips on flourishing your farm for free!

Cashing In with Gift Card Apps

Alright, moving on to another legit way to load up on those much-needed keys and coins: gift card apps. You might be thinking, "What's the deal with gift card apps?" Well, let me spill the beans. There are apps out there that reward you with gift cards just for doing simple tasks like taking surveys, watching videos, or even shopping online. And guess what? You can use these gift cards to get your hands on some sweet, sweet in-game currency in FarmVille 2: Country Escape.
Here are a few real apps to get you started:

• Swagbucks: This one's like the Swiss Army knife of the gift card world. Do a little bit of everything and rack up points for gift cards.
• Google Opinion Rewards: Perfect for Android users. Answer quick surveys, earn Google Play credit, and boom—free keys and coins.
• Mistplay: Calling all gamers! Play new games, earn points, and get gift cards. It’s like being paid to play.
• Survey Junkie: If you're opinionated and love sharing, this one's for you. Complete surveys, earn points, and redeem them for gift cards.

A Friendly Chat with the Game Developers

Now, here’s a thought: why not go straight to the source? Sometimes, reaching out to the game developers can land you some freebies. It's not a guarantee, but it's definitely worth a shot. Developers often appreciate feedback and may reward helpful insights or significant achievements with in-game perks. Plus, they occasionally offer free keys and coins through social media contests or as an apology for any game glitches.
Here’s how to approach this:

• Be Genuine: When you contact them, be honest and constructive with your feedback. Sharing what you love about the game and offering polite suggestions can go a long way.
• Stay Updated: Follow their social media pages for any contests or giveaways. Participating could net you some cool rewards.
• Report Bugs: If you encounter any issues, report them. Not only does this help improve the game, but you might also get a thank-you gift.

Conclusion

And there you have it, folks! Three nifty ways to boost your FarmVille 2: Country Escape game without reaching for your wallet. Whether it's tapping into the potential of online generators, earning gift cards through apps, or engaging with the game developers, there's always a way to get ahead. So, give these tips a whirl and watch your farm flourish.
Remember, the best things in life (and in games) come free!

Recommended watch: Neon vs Blacklist game 3, OG vs Tundra game 3, AR vs iG game 4.
Notes: Only the Grand Final for each region is recapped but the Meta encompasses the entire closed qualifiers. The Meta and Winrate table are joined so I don't surpass the image limits in a post.
I'll try to do the Americas tomorrow. If you want recaps sent directly to your email with better formatting, I have a Substack.
All the meta section's data came from datdota.com

SEA

Meta

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https://preview.redd.it/6cd87ak1t9rc1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=d01639d85d8885d2b72dadba4c6bbcd6ba625cab
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Blacklist vs Neon

Blacklist's route: OQ#2 → 1-2 vs Geek Fam ↳ 2-0 vs Bleed → 2-1 vs Geek Fam → 2-0 vs Talon
Neon's route: 2-0 vs Manta → 2-1 vs Geek Fam → 2-1 vs Talon
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https://preview.redd.it/uxa6pv4919rc1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=67e7c61f8ea381dc2451b86a7d8ec5b75d1b5316
Blacklist came out of the gates hot. They dictated most of the tempo and pressured Neon to play on the back foot for the entire game. There was one instance where Oracle was able to save TA which turned around a fight but Gabbi's Slardar was quickly on the case as his Orchid was almost exclusively used for Oracle in the fights. Oracle became public enemy #1 for the Radiant and was rendered useless in fights where he was visible. Blacklist was relentless and kept suffocating Neon until they no longer had air to breathe. It felt like Neon needed 5 charges of False Promise to have a chance. This was a dominant performance from Blacklist. BL 1-0 Neon.
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https://preview.redd.it/euceib7c19rc1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=499ead91c26ac80ad68aede87be37df9b67f6e70
Blacklist once again dictated the overall moves but the game was more passive than the previous one as both carries were able to farm. It came down to who had better moves on the map and that was Blacklist. The Radiant made better use of their movements which yielded better results than Neon who seemed to be fine with scraps. In the fights, both Primal and Kunkka were able to create enough chaos to enable the Terrorblade to get his free hits. Despite Primal Beast being the first pick on Blacklist's side, Abed was freely able to do what he wanted in the fights. The high-ground defense was non-existent for Neon as Primal was able to get in, Pulverize the Gyro, and kill him while 4 teammates watched him die. It was a pathetic effort from Neon and it has to be pointed out that JG has had 2 poor performances on the offlane. The Centaur fed the most and had the lowest networth among the cores for the second game in a row. Neon aren't showing any signs of fight in them. BL 2-0 Neon.
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https://preview.redd.it/9bsyiuqf19rc1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=0e8163b9b61c7cae82ccfa472f48362e2e4b049d
This was a better competitive game. Blacklist letting the Chen through and Neon's last pick OD worked wonders for them as it was very effective against the cores of BL. Abed's Primal in mid got stomped. For what felt like the first time in this series, Neon was in the driver's seat with a networth lead. The happy times would not last, however, as Neon's attempt for the second Rosh ended in tragedy. Neon pushed the issue with an aggressive assault on Rosh despite knowing that Blacklist was in the vicinity and ready to pounce. In what was the biggest play of this series, Abed was able to get in the pit and snatch the aegis away. With Neon committing heavily to get the Aegis, they instead came up empty-handed and lost their 2 biggest cores with a Chen dieback. Blacklist regained all momentum. The final nail in the coffin arrived in the same spot for Neon. Both teams were prepping for the 3rd Rosh at bot. Blacklist did a brilliant smoke wraparound which was rewarded by catching OD and netting an immediate kill on Luna. Blacklist's 4 BKBs made the fight impossible for Neon. Neon were destroyed. Blacklist comfortably finished the game from that point. Blacklist with a clean sweep and a deserved qualification. BL 3-0 Neon.
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CN

Meta

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G2.iG vs Azure Ray

AR's route: 2-0 vs Kev → 2-0 vs Zero → 2-1 vs LGD
G2.iG's route: 2-0 vs Bright → 0-2 vs LGD ↳ 2-0 vs Kev → 2-0 vs Zero
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https://preview.redd.it/ns9sz1sv19rc1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=c9a4c858fb65632618024400e1e716832a3aa672
Azure Ray did well for themselves taking objectives and keeping up in networth despite being in a huge kill deficit against a Luna lineup early on. The Dire had the deadlier teamfight and had better means of bursting opponents. Even the Timber was easily dealt with through the control and magical damage of the supports. AR were the first to take a set of racks but unfortunately for them, one set was not enough to change the complexion of the game. The Luna + Magnus lineup will always outscale Clinkz and company. The Shaman and Clinkz resorted to split pushing and making objective plays but iG were disciplined and prepared to defend. It came to a point where BKB + TPs no longer worked for the Radiant as the Luna + Razor could burst anyone in that span. The game finally ended with Magnus' Refreshed RP catching Clinkz off guard while shoving a lane. iG was able to walk down mid and finish the game. iG 1-0 AR.
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AR found a carry who could keep up with Luna but the second game was all about the rest of the field for iG. The Dire's bread and butter was Thudergod's Wrath into Doom or Hex + Finger. JT was clinical with his Doom usage which gave AR little breathing space. If TA or Alch gave any sort of opening, they would be doomed and that meant death. AR did not have the same luxury as the Timber did not feel as impactful as its counterpart. The game dragged and iG added a fourth core into the mix. xNova's Enchantress got promoted as she was hitting like a truck. The Ench was chopping down the enemy cores at the latter stages of this game. AR could not keep afloat with the amount of problems left unanswered. iG 2-0 AR.
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AR finally get themselves on the board on the back of Lou's untouched Naga Siren. The Radiant were in the driver's seat for most of the game. Naga was left to her own devices. AR had no trouble getting objectives with Exo while the fights weren't bothersome for AR as Omni countered a lot of what Primal and Doom wanted to do. Once iG was restricted, it became an uphill battle against the Naga illusions. iG's last attempt came with a desperation Rapier on TB (TB had 0 deaths at the time of purchase btw) but he didn't even get to use it as Bach got on top of him and blew him up. AR 1-2 iG.
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iG ran it back with their tri-core from the first game but this time around they were facing Ori's Storm and Fy's Rubick. iG actually had a small lead early on and did look like the better side in the fights but they kept giving Roshan away and AR kept accepting the freebies. The downtime + Radiant having Aegis translated into a heavy networth advantage for AR. But they quite couldn't close the game out. The game extended to the point where both Magnus and Razor had Refresher Orbs which was very problematic for AR. With an Aegis in hand and almost a 30k gold lead 1 hour into the game, AR choked. Razor got on top of TB and sucked away all of his damage before taking his first life. The rest of TB's team had their hands full with Luna beaming them to oblivion. Upon reincarnating, Lou died immediately but it was interesting to see how he did not utilize his Refresher Orb. 4 dead on AR, 3 with no buyback. That was the series. iG 3-1 AR.
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WEU

Meta

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OG vs Tundra

OG's route: 2-0 vs JustBetter → 2-0 vs Mouz → 0-2 vs Tundra ↳ 2-0 vs Mouz
Tundra's route: 2-0 vs Level UP → 2-1 vs Entity → 2-0 vs OG
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OG went with the Io + Gyro partnership while Topson played on his patented Sniper. Topson did get a good laning stage but he became the primary focus of Mars' Arenas later on. OG were successful in their Arena into relocate plays and forced Tundra to play around OG's downtime. Tundra were able to stem the bleeding with smoke plays around the map and got kills of their own which slowed down some of OG's momentum. Eventually, Pure was able to reach his scary Khanda timing. Paired with Sniper's Aghs Scepter, the two became a menace from range. Topson got his BKB and the complexion of the game completely changed. Tundra's smoke play around Dire's Twin Gate caught OG by surprise and landed Tundra 5 kills. It all went to shit from there for OG. Luna got Aegis. BZM got picked off in front of his base. The most bizarre high-ground defense then ensued where Timado's life was slowly trickled down and eventually died to a bunch of beams and assassinates. His buyback was forced but the game was already over at that point. Tundra were just better. Tundra 1-0 OG.
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Topson got to play Kardel again. Both sides picked their offlaners last. A Lycan for Tundra to counter Drow, and Broodmother for Wisper. Safe to say, the Brood pick was an unmitigated disaster. She lost her lane and never got to any timing that influenced the game. Morph felt no pressure and was actively participating in the massacres around the map. The game got out of reach very quickly for OG. All 3 cores of Tundra were comfortably topping the networth charts. OG had 1 smoke gank where they threw everything to kill Sniper in exchange for 5 of their own lives. This was a lopsided game. Tundra 2-0 OG.
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OG banned out the Sniper this time around but the last pick Omni for Topson was looking scary early on. BZM's Primal Beast suffered in lane but some great rotations from his supports + the lack of reaction from Dire's supports dampened the Omni's early game. Pure also got off to a streaking start. Meepo had a pre-15 minute Diffusal + Aghs Scepter but Meepo was the only one who scaled well for the Dire. The Radiant had a plethora of big spells to throw and while Pure did his best to outmaneuver the opposition, the rest of his team did not have the tools to do the same. OG acquired a significant gold advantage through their teamfight and eventually took control of the map. OG also dictated when the fights occurred, their long cooldown spells were efficiently used so it became extremely hard for Tundra to create any breakthrough. OG was able to whittle down on their enemies until there were no more bodies left to defend. OG bounce back. OG 1-2 Tundra.
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https://preview.redd.it/jkues31839rc1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=7e08ee83631b38c48ce3e0bb8f356d0abd92c5ba
Pure got to play his Meepo previously but it's back to business in game 4 with the Luna pick. Tundra had OG's number once again. The early game went swimmingly for the Radiant and it looked pretty bleak for Dire. You could feel OG was pressured and they had multiple attempts at invading the opposition's triangle but yielded no results. The trick was to wait for them to come. The little hope that came in this game was because of Tundra's overextension and BZM punishing with his Orchid. All that hope was dashed with a bold attempt at Rosh. Tundra pounced while OG made a desperate effort to secure the Aegis. A beautiful Coil into Eclipse shut down the fight quickly. 4 heroes including all the cores of OG got decimated. Tundra got the Aegis and the momentum never left their side. The map became a slaughterhouse. After one too many butchering, OG tapped out. Tundra deservedly qualify. Tundra 3-1 OG.
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EEU

Meta

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L1GA vs VP

L1GA's route: 2-0 vs One Move → 2-0 vs Night Pulse → 2-0 vs Yellow Submarine
VP's route: 2-0 vs Asakura → 0-2 vs Yellow Submarine ↳ 2-0 vs 1win → 2-0 vs Navi → 2-1 vs Yellow Submarine
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This patch has seen the rise of Disruptor and this match might have been the biggest showcase of his effectiveness. I've lost count of the number of times Static Storm shut down the Puck in this one. Pantomem did a brilliant job on his end. The game lasted 73 minutes but the last time the Radiant had a significant excursion across the river was in the 36th minute where a failed Aegis siege saw Sven trying to BKB TP out but Pantomem's Glimpse brought his demise. The 3 cores of VP featured a lot of physical damage between them but L1 were careful and kited them when possible. The Brewmaster was responsible for a lot of the controlling and looked like he was working 3 shifts during the fights. Eventually, Void got to his Refresher and the Chronos became harder and harder to combat into. L1 took their time in seeing this one out but it was only ever going to go their way. L1 1-0 VP.
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https://preview.redd.it/ozufewju39rc1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=7145bf74f742421053beefcec6a073c7d69ea3f1
This time VP used Lesh as a core (no more of that support gimmick Space Cow) and it worked. The Radiant were able to take towers with relative ease thanks to Lesh and Pugna. Despite having a significant tower advantage, Alchemist's side had less than a 7k gold lead 30 mins in. Ramzes' TB found his farm and kept them afloat. At 35 minutes, VP's Aegis siege started off with an immediate kill on Centaur with no buyback. Dire's defense was shattered as 3 heroes died, including the TB, which resulted in mega creeps and subsequently the end of the game. VP strike back. VP 1-1 L1.
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https://preview.redd.it/ogqrcev249rc1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=e7388789f76897e6b79960eb9d6c0a98586c263b
L1 looked ready to end this early with a 7-0 advantage and were actually diving past the tier 1 tower mid before the 9-minute mark but they did overstep and caused their momentum to slow a bit. Ramzes was getting gigantic in the jungle but VP knew what to do. VP did not let up and made their own attempts at L1. The ganks were hugely successful thanks to Magnus. Noticed was able to channel his inner Collapse and take over the game. His Skewer plays were able to catch DP multiple times and completely stop her progression. The most important play came in the 36th minute where a Horn Toss + Skewer play caught and killed Ramzes. A similar play was done to Reibl on the high-ground siege (DP had no buyback) so Ramzes was forced to buyback as his base and teammates were getting decimated. L1 dropped like flies and wasn't able to muster any defense. This was a Magnus masterclass. VP 2-1 L1.
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https://preview.redd.it/vin38ad549rc1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=adcdaad2c330f02e9256a54fb723b2833f89217b
The last game of the series was unfortunately the least competitive of the lot. In the first 3 games, we saw Ramzes free farming but in this one, Squadix made sure he was on a short leash. The KotL made frequent trips to the top lane and made Alch suffer. Ramzes did not get to play Farmville and his consecutive deaths absolutely destroyed any chance L1 had. Kiritych's Morph on the other hand had no problems taking over. L1 had been figured out and was quickly dealt with. VP deservedly book their trip to Romania. VP 3-1 L1.

Hi everyone!
I hit a slump and was knocked from Plat1 to almost Gold1 with a bad losing streak.
I decided to just mess around and watched several Byzantine build order videos by the pros.
I came up with the below build order, and I had a huge winning streak back up to platinum.
I typically can't break Plat1, and I chalk that up to me getting inside my head and probably not adapting enough.
Here is what I came up with:
Five vills go on stone. One vill builds a cistern then gold mining camp.
The first vill created builds a house and goes to sheep.
The five stone vills are already heading to the TC, drop off stone and go to sheep.
One vill builds the second cistern where I need it and connects them. This is dependent on how far away the stone is, etc... I sometimes use the house or cistern bill, but other times use a recent spawn or food vill.
I rally vills to sheep to a total of seven, then make sure I have three on gold.
Once I hit 200 gold, the gold villagers go onto straggler trees.
I keep rallying to sheep, maybe a couple to berries to start gathering oil. I want a total of 12 vills on food.
I age up with 4 vills on hypodrome, and rally new vills to wood. The hypodrome vills go back to food once they are done. If I need an extra house, I use one of these vills for that job.
I like to have about 8 to 10 vills on wood and rally back to gold after that.
By the time I age up, I'm pumping out horsemen and harassing.
The wood vills help with building up production and each completed building floats me to my third cistern, or if wood is looking good, and I feel comfortable, a second TC. However, I have only done that once.
I do a heavy olive grove transition to keep pumping out mercenaries. I find it is a great way to supplement my army, and I'm able to mass fairly quickly.
Horsemen are meant to harass, unbalance and block my opponent in.
I make limitani every chance I get, and space them around my base. I usually have a couple scouts out and try to get Exploratores and the scout torch bonus.
I tried keeping two vills on gold during age-up, but I felt REALLY slow. Making units and buildings a priority seems to keep pace.
I've lost two ranked games with this build. One was a mirror match, and he had good defences and a two TC boom.
The other, my raids failed and he barreled into me.
What are people's thoughts?
I find it fast-paced and plays like old-school French with an HRE Farmville Aachen Chapel twist.

Hi all, as the title says, things I found helpful for the vanilla state of Starfield as of Jan 2, 2024. Goal is to help you with things I didn't readily find info on right away. Like bugs to watch for, bugs you can fix without console use, and quality-of-life things you can do to make your experience more enjoyable.
SPOILERS MARKED BELOW, SO DON'T JUST SKIP DOWN AND READ or you'll be mad that you read spoilers.
--- NO SPOILERS IN THIS SECTION
BUG: Outposts you build suddenly disappearing from the planet/star maps:
FIX: See this thread: https://www.reddit.com/Starfield/comments/16dnery/bug_outpost_not_visible_on_planet_map_cannot_land/
It seems to happen when you MOVE your outpost beacon after you've built an outpost. You have to be able to actually make it back to your outpost from the closest landing site (on foot). If you get there, move the outpost beacon on top of the large red triangular area that shows you can't build. It will reset the outpost and also make it show up again on the map / planet view / and your outpost dashboard list.
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BUG: Ships landing, but cargo door doesn't open. Ships in space are empty when you board them, you can't steal them:
FIX: This is a known bug, a lot of threads out there. The vanilla fix (I've tested it and this works most of the time) is to chase down the landing sites for ships that landed while you were on a planet/moon, and make sure you've killed or interacted with all the ship occupants. This appears to clear out the stuck "quest" slots that lead to this bug. You only need to clear out ONE of the stuck quests (so find one of the ships you ignored that still has occupants outside). And after that, just make sure you don't ignore any landing ships. Unfortunately, this is annoying and lasts forever (in my experience) - so sometimes a ship will land really far away, and yes, you have to go chase it down to avoid this bug.
FIX with console: If the above doesn't work for you, your save is bugged forever (at least as of this time), so you can only fix this via console commands. If you are on an Xbox, you are out of luck here. Here's more info on console-command fixes: Anyone found a solution to the empty boarded ship bug? : Starfield (reddit.com)
--
-- Quality of Life Tips:

• Cutter Focus: Before you mine anything with the cutter, or before you cut bolts on emergency doors you find, hold the "aim" button (right click on PC mouse) and let the reticle focus all the way. Your cutter will be much, much stronger and faster at breaking minerals or cutting bolts.
• Access Ship Inventory from 250 Meters: If you are anywhere within 250 meters from your ship (where you can see it from your scan menu), you have automatic access to ship cargo! So if you are raiding an abandoned base, lab, or whatever, dump all your loot in your ship cargo before you go into a place where you can no longer see your ship on your scan view. This is excellent for places like the Groundpounder mission, where you fill up on loot very fast. Avoid being encumbered.
• Amp appears to be the only NON-addictive speed drug: carry it everywhere so that you are not slowly taking 10 minutes to walk to a point of interest on moons/planets. Buy it everywhere you find it so you don't run out.
• Outposts - 2 resources per outpost is probably best for now: There's no "sorting" of incoming resources. So all of those "tips" online about finding an outpost with 4 different resources in one outpost place are crap, in my opinion. You can't sort that stuff, and you'll clog up your delivery lines fast unless you also build a separate cargo link for each of them. Stick with TWO resources per outpost, which I find is very manageable and you can do without having to pump skill points into enabling more outpost links. Maybe we'll get a sorting system someday to make Outposts better.
• Venus for Passing Time: Most people know this, but Venus is 100 hours UT for each hour spent there. Put down and outpost, a bed, and that's it. Rest 1 hour, and you get "well rested" and all shops in the universe get reset. This is by far the fastest way to replenish shop money and items.
• Venus + Den (Wolf System) for contraband: Wolf system doesn't scan you, and there's a trade authority merchant there. If you don't want to mess with contraband scan checks, and you have contraband to sell, pop over to the Den, sell, Venus, rest 1 hour, back to the Den and repeat until you have sold your contraband.
• XP Farm with Animal Husbandry: I don't like gaining XP this way, but I've tested this method for fast XP. Step 1: Put at least 1 skill point into Zoology and 1 into Outpost Engineering. This will let you build a little Animal Husbandry cottage in your outposts. Step 2: find a planet of a reasonably high level, like Pyraas VIII-A (top right area of starmap) with creatures you can scan easily and that are reasonably big. Scan the creatures to 100% and it will let you make an Animal Husbandry building in your outpost. Ground creatures, not flying ones. Here's the pro tip -- you don't need to power the animal husbandry building at all. Place as many as your computer can handle, and creatures will stream out by the dozens. Shoot them, and you get XP. Shoot shoot shoot, clear them out, bodies everywhere, XP by the thousands. Run to venus, sleep, return, more creatures streaming out, rinse repeat. If you damage one of the cottages, you can repair it easily in the Outpost build view.
• More fun XP gains: Build a good ship that can disable ships on Serpentis. Head there, bust up ships, board them, kill the occupants, loot -- Serpentis loot is very high value -- you'll rake in XP very fast and get a bunch of useful loot while you are at it.

--
-- SPOILERS RELATED TO STARBORN/NG+/POWERS BELOW:
--
BUG: You find a Starborn ship that has no occupants, and you can board the ship + steal it (it doesn't say "inaccessible" like usual when you go to the door.
FIX: This is the same bug as above, related to empty ships, cargo doors not opening. Same fix as above. While many threads say you shouldn't steal the ship before NG etc... I have found no downside to doing this other than perhaps spoiling your experience with getting the ship the normal way (via entering the Unity). But note that once you steal a Starborn ship, it can never be sold and it occupies a ship "slot" forever. You can sell it only via glitches or console commands to delete it.
--
Edit (Jan 21, 2024): Another BUG: Apparently on NG+, the Oupost Management Skills reset to zero, but still show as upgraded. So if you sunk 4 points to max it, too bad, it is as if you didn't put any in there (yet the skill shows maxed or at whatever level you had it). I decided to build more than 3 cargo links (I have the skill maxed, so I should be able to build 6 of them), but I'm capped at 3.
FIX: I found a thread where someone had submitted a ticket to Bethesda, and their response was the usual "we're aware of the NG+ bug" and nothing else. Xbox players are again without a fix. PC players can use the console to fix this. Put in "player.removeperk 0023826f" and then follow it with "player.addperk 0023826f" and it appears to restore the improved cargo link limit (but of course you'll lose achievements if you do this).
--
BUG: Phased Time gets stuck (permanent slow-motion):
FIX: this bug started happening often for me after I upgraded Phased Time (power) a few times. It triggers for me almost every time I use the power while I am in the air doing something else (shooting, scanning, getting shot), and also when I use it and immediately climb a ledge/rail. There's no fix, you need to go back to a previous save.
--
Get EXTRA Starborn Suits!
METHOD: When you get to the LAST temple on Masada III, you'll fight one or both of the Emissary/Hunter (depending on your choices earlier to persuade them not to fight). After you beat them, they'll lie dead at your feet with artifacts on them and their unique weapon. Very rarely, one of them will also drop Starborn armor. It won't have any perks, but it will still be a high level armor like Gravitas. While you can probably craft better armor for your NPCs, it does look cool to have one of your companions wearing Starborn armor alongside you. Make a save when you are moments from killing the HunteEmmisary in the final battle, so that you can reroll the save to see if one of them dropped extra armor for you.
Key Note: If they have armor on them, grab the armor BEFORE you grab all the artifacts, or else the dead HunteEmissary will just disappear before you can grab the armor.
--
Get better Starborn Suits in NG+....
METHOD: The moment before you enter the Unity, save your game. After the credits roll and you appear on your Starborn ship above Vectera, you will have a new Starborn suit with RANDOM perks. You can re-roll these perks if you don't like what you got simply by reloading your save and reentering the Unity. It takes a bit of time because you have to wait on the end sequence and part of the credits until you can hit "skip", but worth it. I optimize for weapons weigh 50% less and mechanized (+40 carry capacity) each time. But you can reroll for whatever perks you like best. Maybe you want the camo perk with bonus lockpicking? Or the extra oxygen regen + spend less oxygen when overburdened?
--
Get upgraded Parallel Self power faster:
Method: Find Barret right away when you start a NG (you can recruit him right after the Lodge if you go to Vectera sometimes, he'll still be there, depending on the universe you landed in). After you do the quest, you'll get TWO upgrades for the power instead of the usual one. This means it will be maxed by the time you get to NG+6.
Bonus Barret: Additionally, Barret will in fact use the Parallel Self power when fighting with you, and quite often in my experience. So if you are optimizing for a Temple/NG fast run, I find him to be the best companion to have with you. He shoots well, and the second Barret also shoots just fine. Add your own Parallel Self to the mix, and you basically have a party of 4 for most battles.
Tip on using Parallel Self: Your alter ego will appear with the same weapon you were holding when you activated the power. When fighting Starborn bosses in the final temple, I like to switch to my sniper rifle and call the Parallel Self in, then go in closer combat which results in me having sniper support and a longer life for the Parallel Self. For less powerful enemies, I flip the script and call in a Parallel Self with a Varuun Painblade, and let the parallel self tank the bad guys while I snipe them. This works well in Groundpounder and Mantis missions, and inside ships I'm raiding/stealing.
--
Get to the temples faster after landing / move around planets faster:

• Grav Dash + Amp: If you have upgraded the Grav Dash at least once, it is actually useful to speed you forward because it lasts longer and longer. Load up on Amp (its non-addictive) in any shop you find as you go through your playthrough. This way, you can land on a temple location, exit your ship, Grav Dash 4-5 times, activate Amp and run until your Grav Dash charges up again, and so on. Frostwolf, Squall, and others that speed you up are all addictive but work well too - just get junk flush or quicksave before using those.

--
Faster Starts For NG+....
METHOD: If you want to get a fast start after entering the Unity, here's what's worked best for me:
--

• MONEY:
• Go to New Atlantis, go the Well, and go the UC Surplus Weapon and Armor store. If you have the manipulate ability (via the Ryujin quest or just upgrading the skill tree), you can manipulate the store keeper Antonio Bianchi and make him leave the shop. I send him to the end of the hall near the Trade Authority, run back to the UC Surplus, close the front door, and then you can steal EVERYTHING. After you steal everything, go a few steps over to the trade authority and sell it all. If you don't have the manipulate ability, you can crouch and wait until you are "hidden", then steal everything item by item, but it takes a lot more patience since you can easily get caught if you are "detected".
• >! Go to Forward Base 441 on the Toliman System. Toliman is the other system binary with Alpha Centauri. Same as with UC Surplus, you can steal everything at Base 441, hiding and using manipulate to send people away from your thieving hands. BEFORE you go here, grab some lockpics, since there are several locked chests you can steal from. !<
• >! After you raid both UC Surplus and Forward Base 441, you'll have plenty of cash to upgrade weapons or buy good ones. If you want to KEEP any of the weapons you stole, but clear the "stolen" tag, just sell them to any Trade Authority shop, and without exiting the menu after you sell the weapon (or anything else you want to clear the "stolen" tag from), you will see a "buy back" option in the shopkeepers' menu. You can repurchase anything you sold for the same price you sold it. !<
• >! Altair System - Groundpounder quest loot: I find this questline quite easy and with massive loot. After you have a good weapon and ammo from the above thefts, just jump to Altair. You'll get a transmission and quest for the Groundpounder mission. Basically, you will be able to kill and loot a good 50 bodies -- some that you kill, others that were already dead as you go through the mission. When the dropships with reinforcements land, I suggest you use Phased Time, so that you can crawl INSIDE the dropships and kill the baddies before they get out. This way, the dropship doesn't take off with your loot. Additionally, there are two submissions in Groundpounder where you attack ships in space. Kill all but one ship in each of the submissions, and disable the last ship so you can board it and steal the loot from killing the spacers in the ship. And steal the ship so you can sell it too. One run of Groundpounder usually nets me about 100k credits. If you want to be a bad guy, after finishing the entire mission, you can kill all the survivors and net more loot - just clear your bounty before going to a controlled world. Before going inside the main building in Groundpounder, access your ship cargo (you should be within 250 meters of it in the entire mission basically) and dump your loot in the cargo so you are not overencumbered.!<
• >! Mantis Quest, Denebola I-b: While looting spacers in the Groundpounder mission, you are basically guaranteed to find at least one of the spacers carrying the "secret outpost" slate. It will activate the Mantis quest for you. This is why I like going to Altair first, since by the time you finish Groundpounder, Mantis is ready to go. For Mantis, similar to Groundpounder, run through, pick up loot and kill a bunch of spacers, and you get the Razorleaf ship. On the puzzle with the turrets, you can either use Phased Time and run to the button, hit it, and the turrets won't fire. Or you can spell out TYRANNIS by walking from one floor tile to the other and they won't shoot you. Or you can blow up the fuel drums under the turrets and shoot any surviving turrets before they shred you to pieces. If you hate Livvey (the spacer that betrays you in the quest), you can manipulate him and send him in the hall with the turrets, and as they shred him, you can snipe the turrets and take them out. !<

--

• WEAPONS: You should have found plenty if you followed the above theft raids on UC Surplus, Forward Base 441, and the two missions Groundpounder and Mantis. If you still don't have the weapon you want, you should now be flush with cash and just need to go buy it.

--

• SHIPS: If you've done the above theft raids and missions, you can probably just upgrade the Razorleaf to whatever you want now. I like to set up my ship enough at this stage to be able to take on both the Emissary and the Hunter's ships at the beginning of the Revelation mission. For my setup, I put the best weapons I can buy to attack shields in one weapon slot, and the max hull-damage weapon in the other. No third weapon. The rest I put into engines (I find that if I can get to 30k thrust, it means I can quickly get behind the Starborn ships with one boost, and then pick them off one by one). I put what remains into Shields. I use most of the money I have to this point to upgrade the Razorleaf, because you can use this same ship to go ship hunting in Serpentis. Serpentis lets you run into hostile encounters with Varuun Zealots on almost every single hop from planet to planet. Kill all but one ship, board the remaining one, loot all the bodies, steal the ship, sell it (or keep it). Rinse, repeat, and you will have endless money, weapons, and other loot. And it is fun, because it wont' feel like a boring grind like most other money "tricks" out there. This isn't farmville, go blow some stuff up, get in dogfights, jetpack through ships full of pissed off baddies around every corner, and get massive XP and money while doing it!
• Non-vanilla glitch money tip: If you want to sell stolen ships for MAX money without registering them, plug in a controller to your PC (if you are on Xbox, you are already here), and then go to any planet with a ship technician. Go to "sell" menu while talking to the technician, find the unregistered ship you want to sell. Then see what ship is one slot next/previous of it (RB / LB). If one of those ships is registered and sellable, then stay on it. And what you do is hit the "sell" button ("A" on my xbox controller) and the corresponding RB/LB that gets you to the ship you want to sell. If you do it right, it will let you sell it without registering it. Honestly, the cost to "register" is so high that I don't feel too bad about doing this after a massive epic Varuun battle where I barely survived, took a C level bad ass ship, and the registration cost is astronomical. I've had ships that cost almost 100k to register -- and they were the hardest to fight/disable/board/fight/steal.

--- THAT'S All I HAVE. Hope this helps you all enjoy the game more!
Edits: Ship Cargo access is 250M, not 150M. Thanks u/CorrickII .
Edit 2: Another bug on cargo links - see "BUG/Fix" section above.

I'm running Farmville with SP in experimental mode. It recognizes stop signs. It slows down almost stopping then proceeds to accelerate like a somebitch. There were 2 others at their spot before me . OP didn't care. It ignored everyone and decided to screw everyone else.
Is there a universal hand signal for "sorry my bad?" I know the signal for "screw you, I don't care "
California stops.

List of the current game offers. Available on:

• Inbox Pounds (£1 bonus sign up link)
  
• ySense
  
• Swagbucks
  

Some offers are really bad at the moment. And some pay more on other sites. The links in the table will take you to the GPT search engine which will show if there are better rewards for that particular offer.
Disclaimer: I mostly stick so Inbox Pounds and ySense for offers (even if another site pays slightly more). Although I do also like FreeCash and RewardXP - will use these if there is a significantly higher bonus!
See the most commonly asked questions in our Community FAQ

Game offers that can be completed (at least partially)

Offer	Reward	Higher paying elsewhere?	Comment
Alice's Adventure	£190	Check here	Search on subreddit for how to activate the purchases.
Bingo Aloha	£171	Check here	Not done myself. Reports are that it can be done, but it is a grind.
Ever Legion	£123	Check here	Gave up, as its boring. But other have done it!
Cash Billionaire	£80	Check here	First three parts of offer are relatively easy, bet 1/1000th of balance on autoplay
Club Vegas	£74	Check here	First three parts of offer are relatively easy, bet 1/1000th of balance on autoplay
State of Survival	£56	Check here	Can be done, but would wait for more cash
Puzzles & Survival	£50	Check here	One of the easiest City Builder style games. **See the Puzzles & Survival guide**
Merge Dragons!	£50	Check here	Easy if you know how. See the guide here
Big Farm Mobile Harvest	£46	Check here	Very grindy
Play Solitaire Grand Harvest!	£30	Check here	Fun game, I did this offer over a year ago. But it is a lot of levels!
Bingo Blitz	£30	Check here	Easy cash. Guide to complete in 4 hours
Gin Rummy Stars	£29	Check here	Supposed to be okay if you like Gin Rummy
Wizard of Oz Slots	£20	Check here	Easy, but only If you get lucky. I did not get lucky.
Farmville 2 Country Escape	£18	Check here
Triple Tile	£15	Check here	Not done myself, but reports are that its boring but doable.
Farmville 3	£15	Check here	Grindy, but doable
Words with Friends	£15	Check here
Scrabble Go Classic Word Game	£12	Check here
Merge Gardens T1	£10	Check here
Rush Royale	£8	Check here	Not done myself, but can be done
Idle Bank Tycoon UK	£6	Check here	Can be done, just "watch" the ads.

THE $H1T LIST - Game offers to avoid

Offer	Reward	Higher paying elsewhere?	Comment
Mafia City	£291	Check for better offers	Do not attempt. It’s bait.
Battle Night	£210	Check for better offers	Do not attempt.
Solitaire Home Design	£143	Check for better offers	Do not attempt. 800 levels?
DuelCash	£120	Check for better offers	Do not attempt. Bots will beat you
RAID Shadow Legends	£72	Check for better offers	Always had much easier offers in past.
Slime Legion	£61	Check for better offers	Meant to be very difficult, not worth it.
Legendary Hero Slots	£61	Check for better offers	Do not attempt. Absolutely awful
Lonely Survivor	£59	Check for better offers	Meant to be very difficult, not worth it.
Lucky Buddies	£45	Check for better offers	Awful
Bingo Holiday	£40	Check for better offers	Avoid. Terrible Bingo Blitz clone.
Magnet Miner	£26	Check for better offers
Monopoly	£22	Check for better offers
Animals & Coins	£20	Check for better offers	Possibly worse than Animal Kingdom.
Dice Dreams	£19	Check for better offers	Oh so slow
Solitaire Smash	£19	Check for better offers
Klondike	£14	Check for better offers	Too grindy for this little reward
Stormshot	£11	Check for better offers	They must be having a laugh

Game offers that I have not tried at all

Offer	Reward	Higher paying elsewhere?	Comment
Random TD	£31	Check here
Bubble Boxes	£22	Check here
Solitaire T1	£13	Check here
EverMerge	£10	Check here
Wordgrams	£8	Check here
Zen Life	£6	Check here

That's pretty much all of them. Tried to include everyone's thoughts from the subreddit, but I probably missed some! Have I've got any wrong?
Also, if you have tried any in the final list, please let us know!

1. Good backstory: Just a stranger happened to get isekai'd into another world, nothing fancy which is good. A breath of fresh air from MMOs' "you are the chosen one" that sort of plays off on a single player game on an MMO. You are one of the many humans, alongside with other players, a special race just happened to stumble upon this world. It gives off a vibe that you are indeed with others.
2. Player Movement: Character movement needs some work. Sprinting is too fast and jumping has too much air time. I would consider creating an inconvenience to slow the character down and shorten jumps or even limit both, for the sake that mounts will solve this problem. Mount skins to monetize as well.
3. Level Design: Starting area is too spacious but most of the time you'll spend your time in the center of the map; looking for farming nodes takes a while; Home is quite far from town and other buildings are quite far from each other; Areas doesn't look disconnected but could use some biome variety. IMO this is a struggle for some open world games as well, area too spacious some areas look veeeeeery empty. I really suggest to compress the levels.
4. Doesn't Hold your hand too much: As I walk through the quest, not very far long I hit this wall. Where I need to have gold to buy the thing for the quest, which is actually good. The player's pacing is slowed down in a good way and start learning by themselves what to do to. Quests doesn't give off a vibe that's its just braindead walking and turning in quest.
5. Farming nodes: In connection with number 3, I suggest farming nodes should be actually in their proper areas. Plants in the fields are okay, but ores would be best fit to be in the mines. I discovered the mines in the second area, but there are no mining nodes, at least when I got there. But there are mining nodes of iron ore outside. Ores sitting on open area doesn't really work out, at least imo.
6. Multiplayer Aspects: So far, I can't fully grasp what multiplayer activities are we supposed to do. We can visit other player's lands and do that farming a node activity which I haven't really got to yet. But other than that, what cooperative activities we can do that needs a party for? Currently I feel like this is just Farmville back on Facebook. I hope it will be more than that in the full release. What I could think off are server events that utilizes players' gained skills(mining, foraging, crafting,etc.) throughout their playthrough. Like seasonal events like what Harvest Moon does.
7. NPCs: The NPC design are great! Even having personalities and walk time schedules walk paths, and even sleeping during the night! Keep up on this and add random variety to their behaviour appropriately.
8. Create reasonable inconveniences: Here's coming from someone who has no idea whatsoever in developing games and its business strategy plans. But I think the current items in the premium store isn't enough to get by. The games' currently free and not everyone would even try out what's in the premium store. Consider creating reasonable inconvenience for monetization while not making it hard pay to win. Monetize skins for tools and decor for in game housing. Be warned ,there's a risk of monetizing the time gates of processes in crafting and planting.

King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - PetroDragonic Apocalypse; or, Dawn of Eternal Night: An Annihilation of Planet Earth and the Beginning of Merciless Damnation
I hear you already… “what are you doing?! This isn’t power metal?! This cannot be!! This can only lead to fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... MASS HYSTERIA!
Chill, you strawman! I’m doing this partially because I lost a bet and also because I wanted to review this album. I’ve written a few reviews that I didn’t post because they weren’t really power metal but I feel like this one has enough of the power metal spirit that it deserves to be shared here. Plus I’m kinda curious to see if it would get removed. Let’s find out!
Motor Spirit - rhythm is everything here. This song is crunchy, groovy, and lyrically hypnotizing. You have to listen with the lyrics in front of you to truly appreciate it, I think. If you spend your time trying to decipher what he’s saying you’ll miss out on getting to ponder the riddle of what the hell he’s talking about. Or you could go to Genius and have it explained to you I guess. The choice is yours. The song is really fun though, I appreciate that by the time the thumping rhythm is old the song enters a new phase. The drums start to sound exotic… the song softens up but the rhythm chugs along, just without distorted guitar… and then the guitar comes back with the power it started with, if not more. It screams out the power of the Motor Spirit! It’s unyielding… you cannot stop the motor spirit, just as you can’t stop the unrelenting thump of the drums and the guitars - even if you thought thus were done they will not yield!!!
Holy run-on sentences batman! She’s lost it! No. I’ve found it.
This song screams power, just as it screams chaos. Chaotic power. My first listen through I thought it was a pretty basic thumpy groove metal track but this is really dense. Great track!
Supercell - many of you may know them from Clash of Clans, Clash Royale, or Boom Beach. I personally am most familiar with them from the 2012 classic Hay Day. It’s a pretty standard FarmVille clone, and honestly not a particularly great game. Why do I still play it to this day? Well, because I’ve been playing it for years now, there’s too much invested in this. It’s the same thing as Tiny Tower and drug use (JOKING). Don’t try to explain the sunk cost fallacy to me - I flunked accounting.
Where Motor Spirit is a nonstop brunt of musical power, Supercell plays itself a touch more melodically.
Converge - sort of a culmination of the first two tracks. Stylistically this one doesn’t really do anything different from the other tracks - you can see the unrelenting power of motor spirit here, as well as a catchy chorus such as that in Supercell. The chorus isn’t terribly special though, as it’s just repetition of the word converge. This track ranks a touch low on the grand scale of this album for me. It isn’t a bad track though. With as much as the song has to offer its hard to rag on it. I just feel like this is like their “walking to Rivendell” - not a bad section of the (movie/album), and its even essential for pacing and balance, but after they walk out people are going to be thinking more about Rivendell than the roads that brought them there. That’s why most of that stuff got cut out of the movie. This album could survive without Converge is what I’m trying to get at - but at the very least its a good (way too long) intro track for one of the coolest songs on the album…
Witchcraft - one of the reasons why I don’t feel too bad about posting this album here, lyrically Witchcraft completely channels the spirit of power metal. Add in the technical groove, and you’ve sorta encapsulated a similar vibe to early power metal. I gotta commend this song on feeling heavy, danceable, and having enchantingly cheesy lyrics.
I really enjoy the section that turns into a droning guitar instrumental break that you don’t even notice you’re in until you’re neck deep, hypnotized by it. It grabbed me like Gilmour’s guitars did in Animals. I couldn’t believe how lost I got in it. Good stuff, great song.
Gila Monster - this is the song I want to play when a 200 ft version of me rolls into Moscow and annihilates Putin with my nuclear breath (voodoo ranger pouring from my mouth.)
This song is a (self told) description of the Gila, card dealer, fate sealer, (monster). It doubles as an insanely cool song to imagine yourself being the badass monster seeming responsible for the PetroDragonic Apocalypse or alternatively like the Gila Monster is announcing his ass-kicking credentials as you prepare to battle him to the death. The majority of the fun in this song comes from the aggressive rhythm the vocals thunder out with. It screams destructive power, whether you’re facing off against the destruction or the one responsible for it. The song just works. Great track.
Dragon - Dawn of eternal niiiiiiiiiiiight!!!! There’s points when he does those parts vocally you can hear Dead from Mayhem come through. A little haunting. The second half of the song gets insanely heavy after one of the only instances of clean singing/slowing down in the album. The initial half of the track is cool enough, it has a pretty memorable melody but the song really just kills it for me during the “dawn of eternal night” stuff. The breakdowns, the guitar that holds it all together while it’s not chugging as hard… everything comes together to make a really memorable moment - probably the heaviest section of the entire album. I like this track a lot but I’d be lying if I made it sound like I wouldn’t just be listening to the first half to eventually get to the second.
Flamethrower - starts off insane… thundering down, the guitars and drums slam on you like a bag of rocks. The really aggressive instrumentation continues into a fun groovy chorus (which is just flamethrower said in a groovy way). And then the song continues to just derail itself from where you think it would be going. Maybe that’s just me though.
I’ll acknowledge that expecting the long end of album finale trope from power metal in something that isn’t exactly power metal is a little unrealistic. I went into this song with those thoughts in mind though because this song was the longest one I had noticed. What I did not expect was the psychedelic breakdown this album has at the end. It felt like a significant end in the sense that the sudden breakdown and chanting of “motor spirit” somehow gave me intense Shine on You Crazy Diamond feels. I love this track. I thought I would hate it at first because it feels so heavy and eventually feels like it loses it… but it doesn’t really lose it - it just evolves. Heavy in the mind I suppose.
TLDFINAL THOUGHTS - this album is a lot of “what you see is what you get”. From pretty early on in the first track you pretty much heard the style this album is going for. The style is very, very cool don’t get me wrong. I just think it’s important to note how much this album sticks to that style. There is a good amount of special varied moments, but the vast majority of this album carries about the same vibe as any other moment.
There is a lot of “album title as chorus of song (repeat as needed). It can be kinda annoying when you don’t like a ton of repetition, which I don’t. I do think the instrumentation gives enough variety that I remain fairly engaged even when the songs are getting repetitive.
But the short of it is - the music in this album is incredible. King Gizzard made something unique for themselves. Any artist should be proud if they made something as solid as this. They wanted to make something with unrelenting metal force and that’s exactly what they made. As a bonus I would personally say they captured some of the magic that makes power metal the best genre (albeit I do not think this album is power metal in the strictest sense.)
TLDR this album is incredibly solid. Not a favorite, but it’s solid enough for a high rating.
4/5

Has anyone tried farmville 3 yet? Level 30 in 14 days for £15 currently on ysense I've just started it and the game seems quite slow. Just wondering if anyone has any tips or if its worth even trying

I'm playing Farmville 2 on my computer, not mobile. Is there a way to add friends through the app on my computer? I can't figure out how if so, and I'm trying to add people so I can get the extra spins on the wheel xD I tried the zynga website but it's so slow I can't do anything on it unfortunately.

Listen here, you pathetic, braindead, clueless, cretinous, low-IQ, moronic, imbecilic, simple-minded, spineless, worthless pieces of garbage. How the hell could you even suggest that Dark Souls 2 is anything less than a masterpiece? This game is a work of art, and anyone who thinks otherwise is a complete and utter idiot. The bosses and enemies are simply incredible, and the game's design is second to none. The world-building and atmosphere are so immersive that you feel like you're living in that world. And don't even get me started on the New Game Plus; it's better than all the other games combined.
And for those of you who have the audacity to think that Dark Souls 2 is not a good game, I have a few choice words for you. You are nothing but a bunch of pathetic, worthless, scum-sucking maggots who couldn't appreciate a masterpiece if it slapped you in the face. Your opinions are about as relevant as a fart in a hurricane, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even suggesting that this game is not worth playing. I hope you all choke on your own vomit and die a slow, painful death. The fact that you exist is an insult to humanity.
But don't worry, I'm not holding a grudge. I understand that not everyone is capable of appreciating true greatness. So, for those of you who are willing to give Dark Souls 2 a chance, I encourage you to do so. You won't regret it. And for those of you who are too dense to appreciate it, well, you can go back to playing your mindless, brain-numbing garbage like Candy Crush or Farmville. You're not welcome in the world of Dark Souls 2.

Hello, anybody can recommend me games similar to farmville but something thats not farming. Where you build and grow. Been playing frozen its good but the progress is slow.

Notice: All of this is based on my opinion and my impressions from playing them. Your mileage may vary. These are my own opinions.
Star Trek Fleet Command

• There's no way in hell you can play this for free and reach the time limit. You need the second builder which is 4.99 to get the most out of it since there are multiple things you need to build.
• All of the packages are expensive
• It's slow and really confusing so you need a guide to get the most out of it and the wiki. They don't really explain anything in this game
• The time limit for this game is better than the ones below
• You probably need to put in a ticket since it sometimes doesn't credit when you reach level goals
• The only reason why it's worse than the other ones is that you need money to do this while all of the ones below you can play for free 100% except for Mafia wars.

King of Avalon or KOA (usually between 100-150 dollars give or take.)

• You NEED to have a guide for this game and be in a top/high guild, no questions asked. It's really easy to mess up.
• This game is heavy PVP, so if you hate PVP, this is not for you.
• If you are in a low guild, be prepared to be attacked often and I mean often
• From my personal experience, I had issues gathering in this game because of the server so beware if your luck is bad. And when I mean issues, I mean gathering 1k per spot and I need 1 million.
• The paid options to buy are expensive compared to the resources that you need for each level
• It has a habit of not crediting but they usually give you credit if you put in a ticket
• Be active in your guild (and in general.)
• You can play this game for free depending on your luck and if you follow a guide.
• The expedition in this game requires you to grind

Rise of the Kingdoms or ROK (usually between 100-130 dollars give or take.)

• You again, NEED to use a guide for this game and be in a high/top guild. It's also easy to mess up
• This game is heavy pvp but it depends on the guild/server. It's mostly people from other countries that like to attack you, i.e. Asia but if you have a peace shield at night and/or in a top guild it's not that bad
• Sometimes you can be in a mid guild that is active
• The paid options are so so, but cheaper than KOA and Star Trek
• It's easy to gather in this game compared to KOA but it's a heavily babysit game.
• Warning: Some people have been banned in this game for reporting bots so it's better to just ignore everything unless you are in a guild that requires you to talk (which happens.)
• Stay active.
• You can play this game entirely for free easily if you follow guides and depending on your luck with characters. You can get 'good' character draws which will able you to gather fasteeasier
• The expedition in this game requires you to think. You can't just rush in with OP characters. Sometimes you need to split up your army to get the best rank

Grand Mafia

• You need to be in a high/top guild or mid-active guild for this game
• It helps if you look up guides for this game but you don't need them
• You can get a second builder for free using the subscription trick
• You need to be active in this game
• The game's resources are not that bad but it's semi-PVP heavily, i.e. people like to attack depending on their mood. It wasn't as bad as the other two games above.
• Participate in everything if you can and just be a 'good' guild member (and not a leech.) Give the impression at the most
• The packs are so-so to good depending on the event.
• It's easier to do this for free than the other two games, with people reporting that they finished GM in two to four days at the earliest. The other city builder games take two weeks to at least a month to finish

Mafia City is a harder version of the above, so you need to grind a lot more/spend money. I would say it's worse than KoA. You need a guide/specific mindset for this game. It's possible to do this for free but will take close to a month.
State of survival

• Extremely easy and you don't need a guide
• You can go into a 50s guild and as long as it's active, be ok
• You get biocaps and power-ups everywhere
• The packs are good; 0.99 for the builder and the others with speed-ups are 4.99 USD.
• You can get speed-ups regularly (two to three times a day) if your intel level is at least 8 by farming the golden zombie hoard mission. Probably more if it's higher.
• The only problem is the prosperity, which can get you. If you level up everything it becomes less of a problem
• The only time people attack is if you are farming boldly on their territory otherwise they do nothing unless you are in a top guild.
• I put this as the easiest because there are people who can't do PVP at all. It sounds crazy but some people have PTSD, issues, or just flat out hate doing PVP, so this game is for everyone. You don't need to do PVP at all in this game.
• I was rarely attacked in this game. Only twice.
• It pends around 19-20 but sometimes you need to put in a ticket

The others, i.e. Farmville, etc. all suck. The builder with the Norse warriors and the farm also sucks but it's doable (although it usually ends up being 2000-4000 SB at the most from what I've seen.)

I've also put this a more readable version post with embedded images here: https://featherlessbipeds.substack.com/p/corn-based-supermodels.
Consider signing up so my audience consists of more than just me and the pigeon who sits on my windowsill that I explain my hare-brained ideas to.
I. Introduction
Here’s an idea for you: If you want your country to escape poverty, get really, really good at growing corn.
Or wheat. Or potatoes. Or basically any other standard agricultural grain. After you’ve done that, set the economy to simmer and set a timer for a few years. Once the timer goes off, take the lid off the economy and, hey presto, you’ve got a fully grown manufacturing sector and now you're off to the races with modern economic growth.
When I pitch this to people, it tends to raise some eyebrows. Partially because of the incredibly mixed metaphors about cooking, racing, and ending poverty. Partially because it’s not especially obvious why getting really good at making food is going to make you really good at making all of the stuff that isn’t food.
To the first charge, I offer no defense other than that this is my post and I will mangle the English language as much as I damn well please.
As to the second, the mechanism basically goes like this:
II. Farmville
Imagine a lone town in the middle of nowhere (let’s call it Farmville) that doesn’t interact with any other towns. In fact, the people of Farmville haven’t even made contact with the rest of civilization. Life in Farmville sucks pretty bad. Every single resident has to perform backbreaking labor in the fields just to make enough food to avoid starvation.
The residents of Farmville would prefer if life wasn’t like this. Ideally, only some of them would work on the farms making enough corn and wheat for everyone to eat and then everyone else would do something else. A few years ago, Farmer Jack drew up plans for a widget factory (everyone loves widgets); maybe the rest of them could work making widgets? Unfortunately, they can’t switch to making widgets because then there wouldn’t be enough food for everyone and half of Farmville would starve to death. Bummer.
So, Farmville continues along in this rut until, one day, Farmer Jill gathers everyone together and announces that she’s invented something called the tractor. This new invention will double the output per person for everyone who works in agriculture. The Farmville citizenry is overjoyed; this means they will be able to send people to work in Jack’s widget factory while still feeding everyone!
From here, life in Farmville gets a lot better. The people working in the widget factory invent a whole bunch of mechanical things (trucks, machines, fertilizer, etc) that help them both with making more widgets and also make people better at farming. This frees up even more people to leave the farm and go make widgets and farming tools and so on and so on. Eventually, maybe Farmville decides that they would actually like to be able to eat more food than just enough to subsist, so they send a few people back to the farm from the widget factory to make a surplus of food. But, after enough time, the people over at Jack’s widget factory make so many mechanical things that make farming so much easier that only one person in Farmville needs to tend the farms and they still produce more food than Farmville could possibly eat if they tried. The residents of Farmville are now much better off than before, all of these new inventions mean that, on top of having widgets (something they didn’t have before), they now also have even more food per person than they started out with! It turns out improving agricultural output with a tractor was really useful.
Now, let’s say that you don’t think Farmville will totally solve the problem of food production. Maybe you think there is a hard cap to how much technology can improve the corn-to-person ratio. Even still, the exact final composition of what percent of Farmville is going to be working on the farm isn’t that important; it’s going to depend a lot on exactly how many widgets or bushels of wheat a person can produce in an day and what weight Farmville puts on having wheat vs. widgets. And no matter what, Farmville is still better off than they were before.
The point of our story is that until Farmville saw improvements in agricultural production they were stuck producing only food, because to be able to make anything else you need to be able to eat first. It’s only after you solve what’s been creatively termed “The Food Problem'' that you are able to spend your time doing other sorts of productive behavior¹. Unfortunately, it's all that other, non-food related stuff like manufacturing and science that leads to the exponential growth we’ve come to expect from modern economies.
So, to get your country out of poverty, you need to get really good at growing corn.
Technically, we are discussing a slightly modified version of a specific “Structural Change Growth Model” proposed by T.W. Schultz in 1953, but I prefer Corn-based Supermodel as a way of referring to this idea².
Is this mostly so I could use this graphic at the start? Yes.
https://imgur.com/a/t6dDShD
But, it’s also because structural change growth model is a really boring term that doesn’t really capture what is going on in the way that ℂ𝕆ℝℕ-𝔹𝔸𝕊𝔼𝔻 𝕊𝕌ℙ𝔼ℝ𝕄𝕆𝔻𝔼𝕃 does.
The “Supermodels” part of my term I’ve stolen from Hatcher and Bailey’s Modeling the Middle Ages (though I can’t guarantee it originates there).³ They use supermodels as a catch-all term for the grand models of economic and social development that get floated to try and explain vast swathes of human history. I think this sort of broad thesis about development probably gets to make it into that illustrious group, even if it isn’t trying to explain as long of a time-period as, say, a Malthusian model of all pre-modern growth.
III. Some Empirical Evidence
For the most part, I think the corn-based supermodel is a pretty good heuristic for how a country can kickstart economic growth. It tells a convincing story about why economic growth was so slow for thousands of years and then suddenly took off and, more importantly, it matches the data we have pretty well. Here are the charts of GDP and cereal yields in the UK from 1270 until now⁴:
https://imgur.com/a/Lpi6wov
https://imgur.com/a/3EaCjpE
It’s not just that total output of grain is correlated with GDP growth, here’s another chart from Herrendorf, Rogerson, and Velentinyi (2011) showing how the share of employment in agriculture and agriculture as a percentage of GDP has declined across a series of developed countries even while total agricultural production has gone up (implying that it is specifically agricultural productivity that has changed)⁵:
https://imgur.com/tkveaMa
Building off of this data about how currently rich countries got rich, it stands to reason that countries nowadays should experience the same results if they cranked up their food production.
That’s basically the thesis of this piece put out by OurWorldInData⁶. The author argues that one of the keys to solving poverty in subsaharan Africa is finding ways to significantly improve the efficiency of labor in agriculture. I think this is right. Well… I think this is almost right.
Here’s what the author, Hannah Ritchie, says about agricultural productivity and structural transformation:

“To escape poverty, farmers need to increase labor productivity – to produce more food per hour worked. It is a deep societal problem when most of the population works in farming and gets little money in return. The farmers’ families are unable to get a good education; improve healthcare; and to free up labor so that their children can become teachers or build new industries outside of agriculture.” ….. Some countries within Sub-Saharan Africa generate as little as half of this regional average. This makes it impossible for families to escape poverty. Most are smallholder farms. They need family members to work and contribute. They also often cannot afford to invest in education or other opportunities that might allow them to move into industries with higher wages. Without increasing labor productivity, most of the population will have to continue working in agriculture.

I read this as making two claims. First, that improving labor productivity in agriculture is sufficient for encouraging structural transformation. Second, that improving labor productivity is necessary for structural transformation
These claims definitely make sense under the story we were telling about Farmville.
More food (from productivity increases) → More people doing other stuff → Productivity improvements → Economic development.
The question is if Farmville is the right story in the first place for understanding development in the 21st century. That is, is modern sub-saharan Africa similar to Farmville?
In some ways, this is a clear yes.
Here’s a heat map of daily caloric deficits worldwide. It’s pretty clear that sub-saharan Africa would benefit substantially from being able to produce more food⁷:
https://imgur.com/a/TOUTq4b
So, both Farmville and our real world countries of interest are struggling to produce even a subsistence level of food. They share more similarities than that. Remember how Farmville had a widget factory that would have been a much more efficient use of their time, it’s just that they couldn’t afford to switch people to working in it? Developing countries seem to have a similar problem.
Gollin, Lagakos, and Waugh (2014) find that workers in developing countries who are working in agriculture earn substantially less and are less productive than those that are working in other sectors.⁸ This is really weird, we would expect workers who knew that they could earn a much higher wage in another industry to switch over to take advantage of that extra income. (Note: this difference in wage probably isn’t because of higher skills/human capital, Gollin et al attempt to account for this in their measurement).
A potential explanation for this is that workers are in some way trapped in the agricultural sector, perhaps because of constraints on food availability.
So far, it looks like our Farmville model is doing pretty well, the real world has similar scenarios of countries struggling to produce food and being unable to take advantage of higher productivity sectors that they would like to switch into. But, as I’ve been building up to, I think there are a couple of places where the story of Farmville and the story of the real world come apart
IV. Farmville No More
First, Trade. Farmville is an isolationist society with no contact with the outside world, something most developing countries aren’t. This means we have to consider the possibility of engaging with the outside world.
Imagine that 10 miles from Farmville is the farming town of Stardew Valley which, being much more efficient at faming than Farmville, is producing more than enough food to feed both towns (and has no interest in making widgets). Let’s also assume that a Farmville worker will generate more value per hour building widgets rather than farming corn. There is no reason to try and improve Farmville’s agriculture now! They should just immediately switch to making widgets and sell them to Stardew Valley in exchange for food. They will receive all of the benefits of industrialization while being able to purchase lower cost food from elsewhere. There would be no point in increasing agricultural output unless it would exceed Stardew Valley’s rate. So, in this model, agricultural productivity isn’t necessary for industrialization.
Of course, this also isn’t a perfect representation of the real world. Trade involves transportation costs, regulations and tariffs, and complex markets. But, the general point that agricultural production doesn’t necessarily need to be done domestically stands. For real world examples of this, the WTO maintains a list of developing countries that are net importers of foods that can be found here.⁹
Furthermore, the opposite problem can emerge, where trade incentivizes moving workers into agriculture instead of out of it. In Farmville, past a certain point of food production the demand for food largely disappears as the small domestic market is saturated. That is, each person in Farmville is only going to want to buy so much corn with their widgets. Under open trade, the price for agricultural goods is set by the global demand for food rather than locally, so prices shouldn’t decrease once everyone local has purchased enough. This means that a country won’t necessarily see a lower and lower price per corn cob for each additional one they produce (in economic terminology the market is closer to perfect competition where prices are taken as given).
Why does this matter? Because if this was the case, then productivity improvements to agriculture would actually increase the returns to agriculture relative to manufacturing (because production per hour is going up while prices remain constant), incentivizing workers to move from industry to agriculture.
Bustos et al. (2016) is a paper that provides super interesting evidence of this sort of phenomenon.¹⁰ They find that the introduction of a certain productivity enhancing technology in Brazil (new techniques that allowed more plantings per year) which raised the marginal product of labor (how much an additional worker would produce) pulled more people into the agricultural sector and out of manufacturing.¹¹
So, productivity improvements both aren’t strictly necessary for structural transformation and aren’t strictly sufficient to cause to structural transformation. Instead, the results of productivity improvements are a function of the background conditions of a society and vary based on location.
The second place agricultural productivity improvements can fail to translate into industrialization is if the labor supplied to a sector is inelastic. By inelastic, I mean that the amount of labor supplied is not very sensitive to changes in various factors. So, where labor is allocated in the economy will stay the same even if productivity changes mean that it would be more efficiently used elsewhere.
Eberhardt and Vollrath (2018) find that elasticity of agricultural labor varies across countries and that differences in labor elasticity explain a fair amount of how countries respond to productivity increase (higher elasticity means you shift more people out of agriculture).¹²
Here’s a sort of weird example about how elasticity affects the labor supply after a productivity change to help you get your head around it.
Imagine Susy, a Farmville resident, gathers up all 50 residents and announces
“Alright everyone, I’ve figured out the solution to our food problem. I used my summoning circle to talk to Cthulhu and he said that if we all gather at the stroke of midnight and ritually sacrifice a goat he will increase our crop yield by ten-fold. But, he said it was really important that all 50 of us do it, otherwise Farmville will be consumed by a writhing, unknowable mass of eldritch tentacles.”
This is admittedly an odd example, but, arguably, Cthulhu ritual sacrifice is a totally inelastic form of agricultural productivity improvement. Even though food per capita will go through the roof from Susy’s innovation, you can’t transfer anyone to a different sector because then Cthulhu will eat you all. Thus, no structural transformation can occur.
I think that a more real world version of this sort of variation in elasticity is in the size of farms. Ritchie points out in their piece that a majority of farmers are located on Smallholder farms, <2 hectare farms usually farmed by a single family.¹³ I think these types of owner-operator farms are an example of where low elasticity may be problematic for structural transformation.
That is, when farms are really small, it seems likely to me that productivity improvements may result in less transformation in the allocation of labor. There are a couple reasons for this. First is that these families own a very specific type of capital that they are invested in and therefore are going to have higher frictions compared to if they were workers on a commercialized farm. When you own capital (livestock, land, etc) there are higher costs to transferring industries than if you are a wage laborer on a larger farm.
Furthermore, when you have a small number employees (just immediate family) on a farm, you have fewer options regarding how much labor you can select. A large farm with lots of employees can simply reduce how much labor they hire, releasing some % of employees into the industrial sector as productivity improves. However, at the other extreme with just one person, you don’t have the option to fine tune what percent of your current labor you want to keep. You just select whether to spend your time working on the farm or not (effectively either 0 or 100% of labor supply).¹⁴ This inability to fine tune labor is going to hamper the release of labor to industry, as smallholders won’t be able to release labor piece by piece.
Another reason smallholders may be inelastic is that we might expect elasticity to vary with the ease of migration. If you can’t afford to get to manufacturing jobs, it doesn’t matter how much they pay, you will still be stuck in rural areas. To that extent, elasticity is also a result of background policy choices in investment in infrastructure and redistribution, so we have another reason productivity improvements by themselves aren’t sufficienct for change.¹⁵
And migration isn’t the only way infrastructure makes smallholders less elastic. It’s pretty well documented that smallholders are less integrated into the market for agriculture and have fewer opportunities to sell their goods.¹⁶ This would also reduce the structural effects of productivity improvements, as the resulting income benefits of higher productivity would be smaller for smallholders as they won’t be able to offload products at as high rates as they otherwise could.
I should be clear that I’m not really that familiar with the literature on labor elasticity in developing country agriculture, so take my proposed mechanisms with a big grain of salt. But, there does seem to be decent evidence that smallholder farmers are less responsive to changes in economic conditions than other farmers and that they have a lower labor elasticity generally.¹⁷ So, we do have some evidence that labor elasticity likely dependent on the underlying makeup of the agrarian sector.
V. Conclusion
What should we make of the fact that agricultural productivity isn't necessarily a silver bullet? Probably not too much. I’m fairly convinced that no one factor is the silver bullet for development and, furthermore, something doesn’t need to cause development for it to be very, very good. Even if food isn’t going to always build you a manufacturing sector, producing more food is going to raise the incomes of farmers and make food cheaper. Those are important things to consider! The World Bank thinks improvements in agriculture have around 2.5X the impact on poverty that improvements in other sectors do. That’s a really significant way of improving the world, even if it doesn’t necessarily result in compositional changes in the labor force.
I also don’t want to sound like I don’t think that agricultural productivity has any effect on structural transformation. It definitely did historically and it definitely still does now. The takeaway here should be that it is neither a necessary nor sufficient condition for industrialization, not that it isn’t desirable.
Finally, I should make it clear that I think the OurWorldInData piece is actually very good. My disagreement is A. very minor and B. possibly incorrect. The author is both much smarter than me and also an actual expert on the subject matter (I have shamelessly stolen their graphics throughout this post). I am a 22 year old with an internet connection whose only professional experience with agriculture is getting paid by my grandad to pick tomatoes in his field part time one summer. Evaluate my critiques with that in mind.
Footnotes:

1. Gollin, D., Parente, S. L., & Rogerson, R. (2007). The food problem and the evolution of international income levels. Journal of Monetary Economics, 54(4), 1230–1255.
2. https://www.economicsonline.co.uk/global_economics/structural_change_theory.html/
3. Hatcher, John, and Mark Bailey. Modelling the Middle Ages: The History and Theory of England’s Economic Development. Oxford ; New York: Oxford University Press, 2001.
4. https://ourworldindata.org/graphecereal-yields-uk
5. Berthold Herrendorf, Richard Rogerson, Ákos Valentinyi, Chapter 6 - Growth and Structural Transformation, Editor(s): Philippe Aghion, Steven N. Durlauf, Handbook of Economic Growth, Elsevier, Volume 2, 2014, Pages 855-941, ISSN 1574-0684, ISBN 9780444535467, https://doi.org/10.1016/B978-0-444-53540-5.00006-9.
6. https://ourworldindata.org/africa-yields-problem
7. https://ourworldindata.org/hunger-and-undernourishment
8. Gollin, Douglas, David Lagakos, and Michael E. Waugh. “The Agricultural Productivity Gap*.” The Quarterly Journal of Economics 129, no. 2 (May 1, 2014): 939–93. https://doi.org/10.1093/qje/qjt056.
9. https://docs.wto.org/dol2fe/Pages/SS/directdoc.aspx?filename=q:/G/AG/5R11.pdf&Open=True
10. Bustos, Paula, Bruno Caprettini, and Jacopo Ponticelli. “Agricultural Productivity and Structural Transformation: Evidence from Brazil.” American Economic Review106, no. 6 (June 1, 2016): 1320–65. https://doi.org/10.1257/aer.20131061.
11. I should note, this finding is specifically for productivity improvements that increased the marginal product of labor. Productivity improvements that decreased the marginal product of labor (i.e. labor saving enhancements) were found to have the opposite effect.
12. Eberhardt, Markus, and Dietrich Vollrath. “The Effect of Agricultural Technology on the Speed of Development.” World Development 109 (September 2018): 483–96. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.worlddev.2016.03.017. Note: They are specifically looking at how elasticity varies with climate, but I think the general result applies.
13. https://ourworldindata.org/farm-size
14. This is a simplification. Workers can and often do split their time between sectors both within seasons and seasonally. The point is just that rigidities emerge as farm size decreases that make optimal allocation of labor much harder.
15. I should note that the author of the Our World in Data piece directly acknowledges this point. My disagreement is just that she frames it exclusively as a barrier to productivity improving, while I think it is also a barrier to productivity improvements mattering.
16. “World Bank. 2007. World Development Report 2008 : Agriculture for Development. Washington, DC. © World Bank. https://openknowledge.worldbank.org/handle/10986/5990 License: CC BY 3.0 IGO.”
17. Merfeld, Joshua D. (2020) : Smallholders, Market Failures, and Agricultural Production: Evidence from India, IZA Discussion Papers, No. 13682, Institute of Labor Economics (IZA), Bonn and Collier, Paul, and Stefan Dercon. “African Agriculture in 50 Years: Smallholders in a Rapidly Changing World?” World Development 63 (November 2014): 92–101. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.worlddev.2013.10.001.

Today I got the chance to take a brand new Porsche Taycan Turbo S out for a spin. The thing is a marvel of modern engineering.
It is mind meltingly fast and enjoyable, but every time I stomped on it, I peeked down to see a velocity readout updating at the speed of molasses.
12, 40, 79, 112km/h
Sitting passenger and staring at the gauge cluster, I confirmed that it was slow as balls
I don’t get it, it’s a no brainer. What possible excuse could automakers have for not cranking up the refresh rate when you are very clearly going WOT. Especially on a car of that calibre.
Edit
It’s like some people here think I’m just burying my face an inch away from the gauges at WOT, peripheral vision is more than enough to catch the numbers updating
Also, in a car as wicked fast as the taycan, a second is all it takes to from a speed warning to an arrest. Doing 60 and you give it a stab, it shoots straight to 90+ before you see it update.
Yes, I know it’s a powerful car and it WILL do that, that’s not the point I’m trying to make here though
At least give me the OPTION to change the update speed. I understand why automakers reduce the update speed for readability and comfort, but I personally prefer the kid with ADHD at a chuck e cheese after a king sized candy bar update speed. That’s just how I like it, especially growing up playing all sorts of racing games.
Some people made great points about analog gauges fixing this and I whole heartedly agree. BUT, if I’m dropping 200k on an electric supercar, I don’t expect a 2009 laptop running google chrome waiting for Facebook to load god damn FarmVille

' ' coded with QB64, and runs on QB64. Will not work on DOS-based QB variants. ' ' ==================================================================== ' DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN : THE VIDEO GAME ' ==================================================================== ' ' BASED ON THE 1985 MOVIE FEATURING MADONNA, MOVIE MADE BY ORION PICTURES ' ' ' BETA VERSION, HOPE THIS ONE IS SATISFACTORY FOR MADONNA FANS. ' ' if you think this version needs to be fixed more, we'll be happy to ' fix it up and re-share it on Reddit in it's perfected form. ' ' ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ' ' DISCLAIMER: This is a fan project, and was created by a fan and has no ' affiliation with any major movie companies, game publishers or paid ' developers whatsoever. ' ' This video game was coded by Reddit user SupremoZanne, with Madonna fans in mind. ' and with fans of other celebrities in mind as well. ' ' Just so fans know, this video game did take a few liberties for the content it. ' Video game adaptations of movies in general tend to take liberties with making ' references to the movies that they purport to be adaptations of. ' ' ' TIP: you might need to launch this program a few times to get it to work right. ' _TITLE "Desperately Seeking Susan: The Video Game (0.1 BETA VERSION)" playscreen = _NEWIMAGE(640, 480, 13) ' 640x480 is an old school style resolution some of us can relate to. Glass = 1: Susannah = 0: M = 0 DIM pak(640, 480) TIMER ON: ON TIMER(.2) GOSUB timing ' Desperately Seeking Timing. M = 0: SCREEN _NEWIMAGE(50, 10) PRINT 'load screen added to work around the initial timing issues when ON TIMER is used. PALETTE 1, 44: PALETTE 2, 39: COLOR 1, 2: CLS: LOCATE 4, 2: PRINT "THE STORY STARTS WITH SUSAN GOING TO THE SALON..." Glass = 1 ' Roberta Glass was played by Rosanna Arquette in the movie. RANDOMIZE TIMER: WHILE M < 15: WEND M = 0: COLOR 1, 0: CLS: PRINT: PRINT PRINT " ÛÛ ÜÛÛÛÛÜ ÜÛÛÛÛÜ ÛÛÛÛÜ ÞÛÝ ÜÛÛÛÜ ÜÛÛÛÛ " d$ = " ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÞÛÝÞÛÝ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÝ": PRINT d$; CHR$(13); d$; " ÛÛ": LOCATE 5, 19: PRINT "ÛÛ" PRINT " ÛÛÛÛ ßÛÛÛÛß ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛÛÛß ÞÛÝ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛÛÛß" PRINT: COLOR 15 PRINT " WHILE SUSAN GETS HER HAIR CUT AT THE SALON" d$ = "t250n20n20n20n18t120n17n15MLt170n30n33t250MNn30n33n33n33": PLAY "MBMN" + d$ + d$ + "p5" PLAY "t240 n12 n10 t140 MS n32 n32 n34 n34 n30 n30 n32 n32 n25 MN p5 t250 n58 n58 n58 n62" WHILE M < 65 IF t <> M THEN PALETTE 1, c: c = INT(RND * 63): t = M END IF WEND PALETTE 1, 1 Glass = 0: SCREEN playscreen: LOCATE 22, 2 COLOR 15 ' the colors of the text are based on the marquee seen in the movie trailer. PRINT "DESPERATELY": LOCATE 23, 2: COLOR 14: PRINT "SEEKING ";: COLOR 12: PRINT "SUSAN"; PSET (20, 170), 0 ' modifying the pre-printed letters. PSET (20, 172), 0: PSET (44, 170), 0: PSET (44, 172), 0: PSET (76, 170), 0: PSET (76, 172), 0: PSET (20, 178), 0: PSET (20, 180), 0: PSET (28, 178), 0: PSET (28, 180), 0 FOR y = 0 TO 479 FOR x = 0 TO 639 px = (((x * 5) + (y * 4)) - 6): py = ((y * 10) + 12): cc = POINT(x, y + 168): LINE (px, py)-(px + 3, py + 7), cc, BF NEXT NEXT LINE (0, 160)-(150, 199), 0, BF: COLOR 15: LOCATE 38, 2: PRINT " THE VIDEO GAME" FOR y = 0 TO 150 FOR x = 1 TO 640 c = 0 IF POINT(INT(x / 5), INT(y / 7) + 295) = 15 THEN c = y + 30 PSET ((x - (y / 2)) - 45, y + 180), c NEXT NEXT LINE (0, 250)-(600, 480), 0, BF: COLOR 15 LOCATE 52, 11: PRINT " full-screen mode recommended": LOCATE 54, 11: PRINT "PRESS ALT-ENTER FOR FULL SCREEN": LOCATE 56, 11: PRINT " PRESS ANY KEY TO START"; FOR y = 0 TO 250 FOR x = 1 TO 640 PSET (x, y + 250), POINT(CINT(x / 1.5), CINT(y / 2.2) + 391) NEXT NEXT cc = 0 FOR y = 0 TO 479 FOR x = 0 TO 639 c = 176 IF cc = 12 THEN c = 1 IF POINT(x, y) = 0 OR y > 400 THEN PSET (x, y), c cc = cc + 1 IF cc > 12 THEN cc = 0 NEXT NEXT LOCATE 32, 25 PRINT "BETA VERSION 0.1" WHILE INKEY$ = "": WEND: CLS ' there were plans to include a circle in the screen ' but they have been removed due to slowdown and flickering issues. LOCATE 30, 20: PRINT "Which character do you prefer to play as:": PRINT: d$ = "--------------------": PRINT d$; d$; d$; d$: LOCATE 32, 40: PRINT "" PRINT " ROBERTA GLASS JIM DANDY" PRINT " gender: female gender: male" PRINT " walks at a normal pace sprints fast" PRINT " the main charcter from the movie Susan's boyfriend from the movie" PRINT " recommend if you are a girl playing recommended if you are a man playing " LOCATE 38, 40: PRINT "" PRINT " PRESS LEFT TO SELECT PRESS RIGHT TO SELECT" LOCATE 40, 40: PRINT "" PRINT MID$(d$ + d$, 1, 39); "+"; d$; d$: LOCATE 42, 40: PRINT "" PRINT " LEONARD COHEN ANON YMOUS" PRINT " gender: male gender: undisclosed" PRINT " has spiritual guidance but walks slow is always anonymous" PRINT " reccommended for spiritual thinkers recommended for anonymity": LOCATE 47, 40: PRINT "" PRINT " PRESS UP TO SEELCT PRESS DOWN TO SELECT": LOCATE 49, 40: PRINT "": PRINT d$; d$; d$; d$ FOR y = 0 TO 480 FOR x = 0 TO 640 PSET (x, y), POINT(x, INT(y / 2.3) + 228) NEXT ' what you see at the bottom is actually a pixel render glitch. NEXT ' but, it will be kept in here since it looks like a good visual effect. key$ = "" WHILE Susannah = 0 ' a random reminder that Susannah is really another form of Susan. key$ = INKEY$ SELECT CASE key$ CASE CHR$(0) + "H" CH$ = "Leonard Cohen" Susannah = 1 ' although Suzanne was the exact spelling of the title of Leonard Cohen's famous song. CASE CHR$(0) + "P" CH$ = "anonymous" Susannah = 2 ' reminding us to place principles before personalities. CASE CHR$(0) + "K" CH$ = "Roberta Glass" Susannah = 3 ' Roberta is the one in the movie who is doing the desperate seeking. CASE CHR$(0) + "M" CH$ = "Jim Dandy" Susannah = 6 ' seems fast eh? CASE "" CASE ELSE SOUND 500, 2 END SELECT WEND CLS: LOCATE 40: COLOR 13 PRINT " Susan has been touring New York, after some touring she drops off" PRINT " her MDCCLXXVI jacket at a secondhand store. At random someone buys" PRINT " this jacket and finds a key to the locker that Susan left her " PRINT " equipment in. and, somebody gets a hold of this jacket and Susan's" PRINT " equipment, and found out that it belonged to Susan, so now, it's" PRINT " up to "; CH$; " to give Susan her equipment back." PRINT: COLOR 7 PRINT SPACE$(22 - LEN(CH$)); CH$; " has arrived in Battery Park;" PRINT " and now, it's time to find Susan!" PRINT: COLOR 11 PRINT " So, let the gameplay begin!" FOR y = 1 TO 480 IF y = 197 THEN LINE (0, 280)-(639, 347), 0, BF FOR x = 1 TO 640 kx = INT(x / 8) ' have some kerning to make the text legible. ky = INT(y / 24) PSET (x + kx + 5, y + (ky * 5) + 10), POINT(INT(x / 1), 312 + INT(y / 3)) NEXT NEXT LINE (0, 346)-(639, 479), 0, BF: COLOR 15: LOCATE 58: PRINT " PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE" FOR y = 1 TO 200 FOR x = 0 TO 639 pak(x, y) = POINT(INT(x / 3), 450 + INT(y / 6)) 'PSET (x, y + 345), POINT(INT(x / 3), 450 + INT(y / 6)) NEXT NEXT LINE (0, 440)-(639, 479), 0, BF bgcd$ = "°¹³¾hǃ" ' ASCII codes refer to color pattern. pxl = 1 FOR y = 0 TO 479 pxl = pxl + 2 FOR x = 0 TO 639 IF pxl > LEN(bgcd$) THEN pxl = 1 IF POINT(x, y) = 0 THEN PSET (x, y), ASC(MID$(bgcd$, pxl, 1)) pxl = pxl + 1 NEXT NEXT PLAY "MF t250 n20 n20 n20 n20 n23 n23 n20 p5 t250 n20 n20 n20 n20 n23 n23 n20 p5" PLAY "t250 n10 n14 n16 n14 n26 n23 n20 p5" ' R-E-S-P-E-C-T by Aretha Franklin PLAY "t250 n26 n23 n20 n26 n23 n20" ' this song was also heard in the movie. FOR y = 0 TO 200 FOR x = 0 TO 640 IF pak(x, y) = 15 THEN PSET (x, y + 345) NEXT NEXT WHILE INKEY$ = "" WEND CLS: COLOR 11: PRINT "LOADING" FOR y = 0 TO 479 ' with some pixel processing code, this is my best LOADING screen yet. FOR x = 0 TO 639 c = POINT(INT(x / 2), INT(y / 2)) IF INT(POINT(INT(x / 2.5), INT(y / 2.5))) <> (POINT(CINT(x / 2.5), CINT(y / 2.5))) THEN c = 2 PSET (x + 10, y + 16 + (INT(y / 8) * 2)), c NEXT NEXT FOR y = 156 TO 278 FOR x = 70 TO 640 c = POINT(INT((x - 69) / 8), (INT(y - 155) / 9)) IF c <> 0 THEN IF POINT(x - 9, y - 11) <> 9 THEN PSET (x - 9, y - 11), 15 IF POINT(x - 9, y - 10) <> 9 THEN PSET (x - 9, y - 10), 15 IF POINT(x - 9, y - 9) <> 9 THEN PSET (x - 9, y - 9), 15 IF POINT(x - 10, y - 9) <> 9 THEN PSET (x - 10, y - 9), 15 IF POINT(x - 11, y - 9) <> 9 THEN PSET (x - 11, y - 9), 15 IF POINT(x - 11, y - 10) <> 9 THEN PSET (x - 11, y - 10), 15 IF POINT(x - 11, y - 11) <> 9 THEN PSET (x - 11, y - 11), 15 PSET (x - 10, y - 10), 9 END IF NEXT NEXT LINE (0, 134)-(639, 0), 0, BF: LINE (0, 400)-(639, 479), 0, BF: SLEEP 1 Susan = 2 '2 is the default pace txxt = _NEWIMAGE(8000, 8000, 13): _DEST txxt FOR x = 1 TO 1000 FOR y = 1 TO 1000 LOCATE y, x Ciccone = RND * 200 ' there's color variety for the random ASCII characters. SELECT CASE Ciccone ' colors reserved for text will be substituted with similar others. CASE 1 COLOR 127 CASE 2 COLOR 120 CASE 3 COLOR 124 CASE 4 COLOR 111 CASE 5 COLOR 107 CASE 6 COLOR 114 CASE 7 COLOR 26 CASE 8 COLOR 18 CASE 9 COLOR 54 CASE 10 COLOR 45 CASE 11 COLOR 52 CASE 12 COLOR 40 CASE 13 COLOR 36 CASE 14 COLOR 44 CASE 15 COLOR 31 CASE ELSE COLOR Ciccone END SELECT PRINT CHR$((RND * 200) + 32); ' one million ASCII characters in this jungle! NEXT NEXT xx = 3600: yy = 3900 DO SuzX = INT(RND * 1000): SuzY = INT(RND * 1000) 'get that play on words? Roberta = 0 SELECT CASE SuzX CASE 1 TO 10 Roberta = 0 CASE 250 TO 650 Roberta = 0 CASE 980 TO 1000 Roberta = 0 CASE ELSE Roberta = Roberta + 1 END SELECT SELECT CASE SuzY CASE 250 TO 675 Roberta = 0 CASE 990 TO 1000 Roberta = 0 CASE ELSE Roberta = Roberta + 1 END SELECT LOOP UNTIL Roberta = 2 _DEST txxt COLOR 14, 0 LOCATE 450, 450: PRINT " GARY'S OASISË " LOCATE 430, 400 'thought I'd include a Suzanne Vega reference too! She auditioned for Susan during filming. PRINT " TOM'S DINER " ' and of course, it should be obvious to some that Suzanne is really just another form of the name Susan. LOCATE 400, 600: PRINT " IGGY POP WAS HERE! " ' one of his songs was heard in the movie. LOCATE 390, 383: PRINT " SHOW SOME R-E-S-P-E-C-T " 'an Aretha Franklin song played in the movie! LOCATE 370, 466: PRINT " VIVA LAS VEGAS " ' Elvis died on Madonna's birthday. LOCATE 649, 581: PRINT " THERE ARE 74 WAYS TO DESPERATELY SEEK " ' 74 is the sum of the letters of the name Susan. LOCATE 475, 500: COLOR 9: PRINT "±±TRUE BLUE±±" ' Madonna song reference COLOR 14: LOCATE 520, 550: PRINT " "; CHR$(34); "THERE IS A CRACK IN EVERYTHING" LOCATE 521, 550: PRINT " THAT'S HOW THE LIGHT COMES IN"; CHR$(34) LOCATE 522, 550: PRINT " " LOCATE 523, 550: PRINT " -LEONARD COHEN " LOCATE 536, 620: PRINT " NO LLORES POR MI ARGENTINA " ' an Evita reference is also here. LOCATE 560, 545 PRINT " LOSING A MOTHER TO CANCER IS SAD! " 'Madonna's mother whose name was also Madonna died of Cancer. LOCATE 540, 455 ' There was an episode of South Park where the word S²±° was said 162 times. PRINT " VISIT BAY CITY TODAY! " ' Bay City, Michigan is birthplace of Madonna. LOCATE 520, 440: COLOR 11: PRINT " CICCONE FAMILY RULES! " 'Ciccone was Madonna's last name. COLOR 14: LOCATE 505, 398: PRINT " OPEN YOUR HEART " ' another Madonna song! LOCATE 445, 390: PRINT " " LOCATE 446, 390: PRINT " ² " LOCATE 447, 390: PRINT " ²²² " LOCATE 448, 390: PRINT " ²²²²² " LOCATE 449, 390: PRINT " ²²²²²²² " LOCATE 450, 390: PRINT " ²²²²²²²²² " LOCATE 451, 390: PRINT " MDCCLXXVI " ' a reference to the jacket Susan wears LOCATE 452, 390: PRINT " NOVUS ORDO SECLORUM " LOCATE 453, 390: PRINT " ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß " LOCATE 495, 528 ' This Melissa Manchester song has a riff similar to ones in Material Girl. PRINT " YOU SHOULD HEAR HOW SHE TALKS ABOUT YOU ": LOCATE 470, 550: COLOR 61: PRINT " HARD CANDY " COLOR 14: LOCATE 275, 360: PRINT " REBEL HEART WILL GO ON " ' any Celine Dion fans here? LOCATE 474, 391: PRINT " EXIT 42 ADAMS ROAD " ' Madonna went to Rochester Adams High in Michigan LOCATE 272, 359: PRINT " 8 IS HALF OF 16 " ' Madonna's birthday is on August 16th, August is the 8th month. LOCATE 421, 493 ' Suzanne Vega's birthday is July 11th, 7/11, Slurpees are from 7 Eleven. PRINT " DRINK SOME SLURPEES WHILE LISTENING TO SUZANNE VEGA SONGS! " LOCATE 532, 408 ' Britney Spears covered some Madonna songs, ' and her debut album was released decades after Led Zeppelin's debut album. PRINT " ANYBODY WHO LISTENS TO BRITNEY SPEARS SHOULD LISTEN TO LED ZEPPELIN FOR A CHANGE! " LOCATE 448, 499: PRINT " HOLD ME CLOSER, TONY DANZA " LOCATE 557, 443 ' homage to The Celtic Knot restaurant north of Rochester, Michigan PRINT " YOU'LL FIND THE CELTIC KNOT SOON! " ' The Celtic Knot is in Lakeville. LOCATE 607, 474: PRINT " HAIL GENERAL SQUIER " ' military general invented electronics, paved way to computers. LOCATE 586, 527 ' General Squier was from Dryden, Michigan, town named after John Dryden. PRINT " READ JOHN DRYDEN'S POEMS! " ' Leonard Cohen was a poet, and so was John Dryden LOCATE 600, 612: PRINT "LIVE LONG AND PROSPER" 'first there's Cohen, then there's Nimoy (Spock) LOCATE 639, 412 ' references to Oxford, Michigan have been added due to it's proximity to Rochester PRINT " #OXFORDSTRONG GO WILDCATS! " ' because Madonna went to Rochester Adams High in the area. LOCATE 612, 355 ' a reference to Lake Orion's downtown area, and the classic In Like Flint movie. PRINT " IN LIKE BROADWAY AND FLINT " ' a movie reference, and a reference to LO's downtown. LOCATE 288, 278 'in the movie Susan was taking what one might call "selfies" PRINT " YOU'LL FIND LOTS OF SELFIES IN ROOM 1313 " ' in room 1313. LOCATE 377, 314: PRINT " /ððð HIGHWAY TO THE DANGER ZONE ððð\ " ' anybody here like Top Gun? LOCATE 321, 371: PRINT " FRED MEIJER IS MORE AWESOME THAN SAM WALTON " COLOR 2 ' some Michiganders would rather shop at Meijer than Walmart. LOCATE 420, 420: PRINT " ±°WHERE'S MARY JANE WHEN YOU NEED HER?°± " COLOR 14: LOCATE 264, 121: PRINT " HAS LEONARD COHEN EVEN PLAYED FACEBOOK'S FARMVILLE APP? " LOCATE 121, 264 ' there is some significance behind numbers 264 and 121 PRINT " JUDY COLLINS MADE A GOOD COVER OF LEONARD COHEN'S SUZANNE SONG " LOCATE 192, 264 ' mother of the MP3 Suzanne Vega, and Leonard Cohen, ' whose birthday is the 264th day of the year. who made a song called Suzanne. PRINT " MP3 AND H.264 ARE GOOD MEDIA COMPRESSION CODECS " ' another Suzanne reference so to say. LOCATE 360, 421 PRINT " AVON RULES! " 'did Madonna buy Avon products, or is just Rochester Hills as a township? LOCATE 347, 551 ' here's a reference to Michigan's Stoney Creek area near Rochester. PRINT " YOU'LL FIND A STONEY CREEK IN MANY PLACES " LOCATE 293, 293 ' Thomas Newman's birthday is the 293rd day of the year. PRINT " THOMAS NEWMAN MADE SOME GOOD SCORE MUSIC. " ' and his music is awesome! LOCATE 74, 100 ' S+U+S+A+N = 74 ; S+U+Z+A+N+N+E = 100 PRINT " SUSAN AND SUZANNE ARE PRACTICALLY THE SAME NAME " ' Susan Tully played Suzanne Ross in Grange Hill. LOCATE 75, 101 ' and there's Grange Hall Road (similarly named) near Holly, MI near I-75 at EXIT 101 PRINT " ONE'S PRONOUNCED 'SOO-ZIN', THE OTHER'S PRONOUNCED 'SOO-ZANN' " ' also, Suzanne Vega auditioned for Susan in DSS. ' Thomas Newman has the same birthday as Susan Tully, and Thomas is the last name of the character Susan played Madonna. LOCATE 28, 289 ' a Suzanne Marie reference for Yoopers! PRINT " BRUCE SOMERS IS AN AWESOME GUY! HE FOUND HIS COZY CORNERS TO SIT IN! " LOCATE 43, 100: PRINT " VISIT GRAND LEDGE, MICHIGAN TODAY! " LOCATE 45, 45 'the names Sue and Daniel each have a sum of the number 45. PRINT " DANIEL EXONARTED SUSANNA FROM A FALSE ACCUSATION. " ' a bible reference. LOCATE 96, 231 'I-96 and M-231 are near Nunica, Michigan. PRINT " VISIT NUNICA, MICHIGAN TODAY! " LOCATE 36, 96: PRINT " VISIT GRAND RAPIDS TODAY! " LOCATE 289, 121 ' 121 is HEXADECIMAL for 289. Suzanne Somers was in Step By Step. PRINT " STEP BY STEP, DAY BY DAY " ' and her birthday is the 289th day of the year (October 16) LOCATE 15, 66: PRINT " WESTMOUNT IS THE BIRTHPLACE OF LEONARD COHEN " LOCATE 30, 196 ' Without freedom of choice there is no creativity. PRINT " WILLIAM SHATNER BROKE JOHN GLENN'S RECORD FOR OLDEST GUY IN OUTER SPACE. " LOCATE 8, 102 ' An 8 Mile reference PRINT " SLIM SHADY WAS HERE! " ' along with an Eminem reference! LOCATE 6, 37: PRINT " LOUIS JORDAN HAS GOOD MUSIC! " ' get it? Caledonia, Michigan? LOCATE 72, 31: PRINT " VISIT TRAVERSE CITY TODAY! " LOCATE 42, 42 ' a reference to ASCII CODE 42, and a classic story series. PRINT " *HITCHHIKER'S*GUIDE*TO*THE*GALAXY*IS*A*CLASSIC* " LOCATE 129, 75 ' Sioux City, Iowa and Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan have highways number 75 and 129. PRINT " VISIT SOO CITY TODAY! " ' Where? Sioux Iowa, or Sault Ste. Marie Michigan? LOCATE 127, 46: PRINT " WHAT DID YOU LEARN AT ALMA COLLEGE? " LOCATE 39, 12: COLOR 9: PRINT " HENRY FORD IS A LEGENDARY CAR MAKER! " COLOR 14: LOCATE 53, 31: PRINT " ROMEO & JULIET IS A CLASSIC! " LOCATE 131, 11 'M-11 and US-131 intersect near Grand Rapids PRINT "²²LISTEN²TO²MUSTARD²PLUG²Ï²²" 'Mustard Plug is a band from Grand Rapids. LOCATE 264, 264 ' Well, US-264 does change it's axis near Greenville, NC. COLOR 35: PRINT " ±";: COLOR 14: PRINT "± "; COLOR 35: PRINT "GO ";: COLOR 14: PRINT "ECU "; 'ECU is located in Greenville, North Carolina COLOR 35 ' ECU stands for East Carolina University PRINT "PIRATES! "; ' Pirates is their sports team. COLOR 14: PRINT "±";: COLOR 35: PRINT "± ": COLOR 14 LOCATE 262, 264 ' there's a route called US-264 near Greenville, NC. PRINT " ±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±± ": LOCATE 263, 264: COLOR 35: PRINT " ±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±± " LOCATE 265, 264 ' well, September 21st is actually the 265th day of the year on a leap year. PRINT " ±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±± ": LOCATE 266, 264: COLOR 14: PRINT " ±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±± " ' 548 is a highway on St. Joseph Island, and the SUM of the UPPERCASE ASCII VALUES of a "Soo" name. LOCATE 385, 548 ' 385: the sum of 264 and 121 548 is the sum of the UPPERCASE ASCII VALUES of PRINT " ST. JOSEPH ISLAND IS DOWN RIVER FROM SAULT STE. MARIE. " 'the letters of the name Suzanne. ' Suzanne takes you down to a place near the river! Yup, talking about Sue near The Soo LOL. LOCATE 190, 134 ' Tom Hanks' birthday is July 9th, 190th day of the year PRINT " LIFE IS LIKE A BOX OF CHCOLATES, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA GET! " ' Robert Zemeckis, director of Forrest Gump, his birthday is May 14th, 134th day of the year. LOCATE 180, 189 ' June 29th is the 180th day of the year, and July 8th is the 189th day. COLOR 12 ' Ruby Froom and her father Mitchell have a birthday 9 days apart. PRINT " RUBY FROOM IS AN AWESOME LADY! <3 " ' Ruby Froom is Suzanne Vega's daughter. COLOR 14 ' thought I'd throw in some elusive tidbits for more hidden messages. LOCATE 394, 548 ' 394 and 548 are the respective UPPERCASE ASCII value sums of the letters of PRINT " IT'S GOOD TO LEARN ASCII CODES AND MATH! " ' the similar names Susan and Suzanne, LOCATE 451, 256 ' there's 256 pages in Fahrenheit 451. PRINT " CLARISSE EXPLAINS IT ALL! " ' a refernce to both Nickelodeon and Fahrenheit 451. LOCATE 457, 548 ' While 457 is the UPPERCASE ASCII value sum of the name Joseph. PRINT " VISIT ST. JOSEPH ISLAND TODAY! " ' 548 is the route number circling the island. LOCATE 542, 299 PRINT " DICK TRACY WAS A GREAT DETECTIVE! " ' Madonna was in the 1990 Dick Tracy movie. LOCATE 895, 487 COLOR 15 ' Just thought I'd throw in A Christmas Carol reference. PRINT " THE GHOST OF "; ' Since the town of Holly, Michigan has a Charles Dickens COLOR 2 ' festival, just thought I'd make some references to Dickens here. PRINT "CHRISTMAS "; ' one reason to talk about Holly in these hiden messages COLOR 4 ' kinda has to do with Grange Hall Road. PRINT "PAST ";: COLOR 15: PRINT "IS FLOATING AROUND!" LOCATE 801, 601 COLOR 10 ' a reference to Michigan's Circle Tour routes. PRINT " THE GREAT LAKES HAVE GOOD CIRCLE TOURS! " LOCATE 956, 554 COLOR 14 ' this is the best lenny face that could be made with DOS-style ASCII characters PRINT " ( ø á ø ) " LOCATE 83, 143 ' 83 is the ROUNDED DOWN quotient of 11873 and 143 COLOR 12 ' Mr. Rogers Neighborhood lasted for 11873 days until the series finale. PRINT " IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD! " ' 143 is the number of Mr. Rogers. COLOR 14 LOCATE 868, 692: PRINT " WHERE ARE YOU GOING? " LOCATE 765, 863: PRINT " KEEP EXPLORING! " LOCATE 388, 826: PRINT " MADONNA SUPERFANS KNOW WHERE BAY CITY IS. " LOCATE 916, 936: PRINT " YOU'RE DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO THE EDGE OF THE MAP! " LOCATE 157, 658 PRINT " NIKKI FINN WAS HERE! " ' a Who's That Girl reference. LOCATE 400, 649: PRINT " SUSAN SEIDELMAN MAKES GOOD MOVIES! " ' a director reference. LOCATE 579, 784 COLOR 15 ' another Orion reference. PRINT " YOU SHOULD FIND A GOOD VIEW OF THE ORION NEBULA. " COLOR 14: LOCATE 247, 714 PRINT " ANYBODY KNOW WHERE TULLY IS? " ' Reference to what? Addams Family or Susan? LOCATE 55, 934: PRINT " IAN DOES GOOD MAGIC TRICKS! " ' a reference to Ian The Magician. LOCATE 122, 473 PRINT " MELANIE GRIFFITH IS A GREAT ACTRESS! " ' she auditioned for Susan in DSS. LOCATE 714, 440 ' Melanie Griffith did however play a character named Susan PRINT " MANUFACTURING DOES INVOLVE LOTS OF AUTOMATA " ' in the movie Aut¢mata. LOCATE 953, 551 COLOR 10 ' quench your Thirst; Melanie Graffith played a character named Sue. PRINT " VIDEO GAMES HAVE LOTS OF SPIRTES! " ' in the movie Thirst. COLOR 9 LOCATE 143, 828 ' another Mr. Rogers reference included! PRINT " SPEEDY DELIVERY FROM MR. MCFEELY! " COLOR 14: LOCATE 61, 736: PRINT " KEEP EXPLORING FOR MESSAGES! " LOCATE 720, 749 PRINT " WRITE YOUR OWN PROGRAMS USING QB64. " ' might as well make a reference to QB64. LOCATE 862, 250: PRINT " KEEP SMILING :) " LOCATE 989, 11 PRINT " THERE'S OTHER SECTIONS TO ALSO EXPLORE. " LOCATE 795, 417 ' this here is an homage to Ontario Highway 417 in Canada and I-795 PRINT " PAY ATTENTION TO EXIT NUMBERS ON THE HIGHWAY. " ' in North Carolina USA LOCATE 417, 231 ' Highway 417 is near Ottawa, Ontario, Canada's national capitol, and there's PRINT " VISIT OTTAWA TODAY! " ' M-231 in Ottawa County, Michigan USA. LOCATE 138, 15 ' route 138 and Autoroute 15 are in the Montreal, Quebec area. PRINT " VISIT MONTREAL TODAY! " ' one might see this as another Leonard Cohen reference. LOCATE 807, 190: COLOR 12: PRINT " ITS ABOOT TIME WE TOUR CANADA! " LOCATE 103, 96 ' the letters of Zuzanna add up to 103, and similar name Suzanna adds up to 96. COLOR 14 PRINT " VISIT CZECH REPUBLIC TODAY! " 'and, Zuzanna is the Czech vairant of Susan. GOTO thiswillbeatemporaryskipfornow ' !!! these numbers will be divided by 8 soon. !!! thiswillbeatemporaryskipfornow: ' TEMPORARY LABEL UNTIL CODE GETS FIXED REM _SOURCE txxt FOR Suz& = -5 TO 15 ' more wordplay with the variable names! SELECT CASE SCREEN(SuzY, SuzX + Suz&, 1) CASE 1 TO 15 SuzY = SuzY + 1 ' That way ST doesn't obscrue hidden messages. IF SCREEN(SuzY + 1, SuzX, 1) < 16 THEN SuzY = SuzY + 1 CASE ELSE END SELECT NEXT _DEST txxt: LOCATE SuzY, SuzX ' one item will have a random location. PRINT " ²*"; CHR$(83) + CHR$(85) + CHR$(83) + CHR$(65) + CHR$(78); "*² " ' it's going to be a challenge! SuzX = (SuzX * 8) - 124: SuzY = (SuzY * 8) - 124 LOCATE 498, 457: PRINT " WELCOME TO BATTERY PARK. " LOCATE 500, 455: PRINT " PRESS ARROW KEYS TO NAVIGATE ASCII JUNGLE " LOCATE 502, 455: PRINT " PRESS SPACEBAR TO ACTIVATE RADAR SCANNER " LOCATE 503, 455: PRINT " ALSO, PRESS SPACEBAR ONCE YOU FIND SUSAN! " LOCATE 505, 455: PRINT " NUMBERS 1 TO 9 ADJUST SPEED FOR ARROW KEYS " LOCATE 507, 455: PRINT " TIP: WHEN LOOKING FOR SUSAN, FIND A YELLOW * NEXT " LOCATE 508, 455: PRINT " TO A YELLOW ² IF YOU SEE THE NAME 'SUSAN' REFERENCED. " LOCATE 510, 455: PRINT " PRESS ENTER TO COPY MAP TO CLIPBOARD" LOCATE 511, 455: PRINT "(ORIGINALLY INTENDED AS A DEBUG TOOL DURING DEVELOPMENT)" PRINT " " BatteryPark: Ian = 1 ' I guess it takes some magic to fix glitches? get that one? cenX = 320 cenY = 200 DO Suzette = ((((SuzX - xx) ^ 2) + (((SuzY - yy) ^ 2))) ^ .5) ' -ette sounds like at, where ya at, Susan? MadonnaX = Susan * Susannah ' another reminder that Madonna played character Susan Thomas in DSS. MadonnaY = Susan * Susannah ' name * cognate = running pace IF xx < -100 THEN GOSUB OB IF xx > 8100 THEN GOSUB OB ' go out of bounds, you get sent back. IF yy < -100 THEN GOSUB OB IF yy > 8100 THEN GOSUB OB _DEST 0 _SOURCE txxt FOR y = 0 TO 479 FOR x = 0 TO 639 PSET (x, y), POINT(xx + INT(x / 2), yy + INT(y / 2)) ' there were plans to add a circle in the screen, but have been scrapped due to slowdowns. NEXT NEXT 'LOCATE 2, 2 'COLOR 15 'PRINT xx; yy 'LOCATE 20, 20 ' this section was used as a debugging tool during development. 'PRINT Suzette key$ = "" WHILE key$ = "" IF _KEYDOWN(18432) = -1 THEN key$ = CHR$(0) + "H" 'the _KEYDOWN function has IF _KEYDOWN(20480) = -1 THEN key$ = CHR$(0) + "P" 'helped to make keyboard IF _KEYDOWN(19200) = -1 THEN key$ = CHR$(0) + "K" 'usage smoother. IF _KEYDOWN(19712) = -1 THEN key$ = CHR$(0) + "M" IF _KEYDOWN(18432) = -1 AND _KEYDOWN(19712) = -1 THEN key$ = "UR" 'it's also helped IF _KEYDOWN(18432) = -1 AND _KEYDOWN(19200) = -1 THEN key$ = "UL" ' allow diagonal IF _KEYDOWN(20480) = -1 AND _KEYDOWN(19712) = -1 THEN key$ = "DR" ' use of arrow IF _KEYDOWN(20480) = -1 AND _KEYDOWN(19200) = -1 THEN key$ = "DL" ' keys IF _KEYDOWN(49) = -1 THEN key$ = "1" IF _KEYDOWN(50) = -1 THEN key$ = "2" IF _KEYDOWN(51) = -1 THEN key$ = "3" IF _KEYDOWN(52) = -1 THEN key$ = "4" IF _KEYDOWN(53) = -1 THEN key$ = "5" IF _KEYDOWN(54) = -1 THEN key$ = "6" IF _KEYDOWN(55) = -1 THEN key$ = "7" IF _KEYDOWN(56) = -1 THEN key$ = "8" IF _KEYDOWN(57) = -1 THEN key$ = "9" IF INKEY$ = CHR$(13) THEN key$ = CHR$(13) 'IF _KEYDOWN(32) = -1 THEN key$ = " " IF INP(&H60) = 57 THEN GOSUB radar ' this was used to make simultaenous spacebar use more fluid. WEND _DEST txxt SELECT CASE key$ CASE CHR$(13) _CLIPBOARDIMAGE = txxt CASE CHR$(0) + "H" yy = yy - MadonnaY CASE CHR$(0) + "P" yy = yy + MadonnaY CASE CHR$(0) + "K" xx = xx - MadonnaX CASE CHR$(0) + "M" xx = xx + MadonnaX CASE "UR" xx = xx + MadonnaX: yy = yy - MadonnaY CASE "UL" xx = xx - MadonnaX: yy = yy - MadonnaY CASE "DR" xx = xx + MadonnaX: yy = yy + MadonnaY CASE "DL" xx = xx - MadonnaX: yy = yy + MadonnaY END SELECT SELECT CASE ASC(key$) CASE 49 TO 57 ' CASE 32 has been relocated to another subroutine. Susan = ASC(key$) - 48 'the letters of the name Tom add up to number 48 END SELECT ' one reason why this was stated is because Tom is short for Thomas SOUND xx + 500, .1 ' Thomas being Susan's last name SOUND yy + 10000, .1 LOOP OB: xx = 3600: yy = 3900 'position reset to starting point _DEST 0: _SOURCE 0: CLS: COLOR 33: LOCATE 52, 1: PRINT " YOU STEPPED OUT OF": PRINT " BATTERY PARK" LOCATE 54, 1 ' Battery Park is featured in the famous movie! PRINT " YOU HAVE BEEN SENT BACK ": PRINT " TO THE STARTING POINT!": PRINT: PRINT " PRESS SPACEBAR TO RETURN": sh = 0 FOR y = 0 TO 479 i = 0 IF y > 340 THEN sh = 35 IF y < 340 THEN i = 10 FOR x = 0 TO 700 pd = POINT(INT(x / 3.25), INT(y / 9.7) + 408) IF pd <> 0 THEN PSET (x - 18 + i, y + 20 - sh), pd + (y / 22) IF y > 395 THEN PSET (x - 18 + i, y + 20 - sh + 1), 0 NEXT NEXT COLOR 14 t = TIMER(1) WHILE t = TIMER(1) ' fixes a glitch with the keyboard. WEND WHILE INKEY$ <> " " WEND DSS = 0: Zuzanna = 0 RETURN foundher: WHILE INP(&H60) <> 185 WEND Ian = 0 ' Ian is a great magician foundher = _NEWIMAGE(480, 360, 13) _DEST 0: CLS bgdcr$ = "You Should Hear How She Talks About You" ' Material Girl took riffs from this MM song. MM = 1 ' Melissa Manchester's initials FOR y = 0 TO 479 FOR x = 0 TO 639 PSET (x, y), ASC(MID$(bgdcr$, MM, 1)) + 100: MM = MM + 1 IF MM > LEN(bgdcr$) THEN MM = 1 NEXT NEXT _DEST foundher: LOCATE 1: COLOR 14 PRINT " CONGLATURATION!" ' an AVGN reference has been added. Who ya gonna call? PRINT " YOU FOUND SUSAN!": PRINT _DEST 0 _SOURCE foundher FOR y = 0 TO 479 k = 0 FOR x = 0 TO 700 offsetY = 0: offsetX = 0 IF y > 36 THEN offsetX = 16: offsetY = 10 ' October 16 is also the birthday of a Sue from showbiz. END IF cref = POINT(INT((x) / 4.8), INT(y / 5.2)) IF cref <> 0 THEN CIRCLE ((x) - 10 - offsetX, y + 10 + offsetY), .8, cref NEXT NEXT _SOURCE 0 FOR y = 0 TO 479 FOR x = 0 TO 639 c = 14 IF (x + (y * 640)) / 3 = INT((x + (y * 640)) / 3) THEN c = 2 IF POINT(x, y) = 14 THEN PSET (x, y), c NEXT NEXT _DEST foundher CLS COLOR 15 PRINT "Now she can go to the": PRINT "magic show!": PRINT: PRINT "And we thank...": PRINT CH$ PRINT "for finding Susan.": PRINT: PRINT: PRINT "Radar thing was used: ": PRINT LTRIM$(STR$(r)); " times": PRINT SELECT CASE r CASE 0 PRINT "You are a brave explorer.": PRINT "since you didn't have to": PRINT "use the radar thing once." CASE 1 TO 5 COLOR 10: PRINT "Next time, use the radar": PRINT "more to make sure it's": PRINT "reliable." CASE 6 TO 11 COLOR 7: PRINT "You have a good sense": PRINT "of sound.": PRINT CASE IS > 11 PRINT "Next time, pay attention": PRINT "to the sound frequencies,": PRINT "then, you'll be a master." END SELECT PRINT: COLOR 81: PRINT "PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE": PRINT _DEST 0: _SOURCE foundher FOR y = 0 TO 439 yy = y + (INT(y / 16) * 3) ' a clever way to add spacing between lines of text. FOR x = 0 TO 639 bg = POINT(CINT(x / 3.1), INT(y / 2)) IF bg <> 0 THEN PSET (x + 12, yy + 115), bg NEXT NEXT M = 28: key$ = "": Glass = 1: _DEST 0 WHILE INKEY$ = "" IF M = 28 THEN PLAY "MB ML T250 n36 n32 n32 n29 n32 n34 n34 p5" ' Madonna's Lucky Star PLAYs PLAY "MN T250 n32 n34 t200 n36 n36 n36 n34 n32 n34 n36 n34" M = 0 END IF WEND Glass = 0: CLS: credits = _NEWIMAGE(640, 480, 13): _DEST credits COLOR 14 PRINT "This program was written by Reddit user": PRINT "SupremoZanne in QB64. The 1985 movie" PRINT "Desperately Seeking Susan which this": PRINT "video game is an homage to was made by" PRINT "MGM and Orion Pictures." PRINT PRINT "We also give a shoutout to celebrities" PRINT "Madonna (Susan), Susan Seidelman (movie" ' removed space between comma and PRINT "director), Rosanna Arquette (Roberta" ' parenthesis reduce character count. Also PRINT "Glass),Robert Joy (Jim),Mark Blum (RIP)" ' placed comma on next line to adjust. PRINT ",Julia Child (RIP), Jimi Hendrix (RIP)," ' PRINT "Susan Vega (mother of ze MP3,auditioned" ' substituted Suzanne with "Susan" to PRINT "for Susan), Elvis Presly, (who died" ' reduce character count and text length. PRINT "on Madonna's birthday, mentioned in the" ' as a strategy to fit in the text. PRINT "movie, RIP), Iggy Pop (Lust 4 Life was " PRINT "herd in DSS), Aretha Franklin (her song" ' misspelt some words to reduce character PRINT "heard in DSS, show some R-E-S-P-E-C-T)" ' length. in case you see any "typo" PRINT " ... and many others ... " PRINT PRINT "These celebrities had some role in the": PRINT "movie, or are somehow referenced in the": PRINT "movie in some way or another." PRINT "°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°": PRINT "!!!!!!!!!!! T H E E N D !!!!!!!!!!!": PRINT "°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°" PRINT "_____Press any key to end program_____" _DEST 0: _SOURCE credits FOR y = 0 TO 639 offset = INT(y / 16) * 2 FOR x = 0 TO 650 PSET (x + 8, y + offset + 8), POINT(INT(x / 2), INT(y / 2)) NEXT NEXT Glass = 1: M = 40 WHILE INKEY$ = "" IF M >= 40 THEN PLAY "MB ML t100 n19 t200 n11 n13 n11 t90 n19 t150 MN n11 n11 ML t250 n13 n11 t90 n19 n11 MN n22 ML n19" M = 0 END IF WEND Glass = 0 END timing: M = M + 1 IF Glass = 0 THEN M = 0 IF Ian = 1 THEN Zuzanna = Zuzanna + 1 IF Ian = 0 THEN Zuzanna = 0 IF Zuzanna = 103 THEN Zuzanna = 96 ' if you change the first letter from Z to S, letter sum is different. RETURN radar: IF Zuzanna > 4 THEN ' the Zuzanna variable was added to fix a glitch. IF Suzette < 100 THEN GOTO foundher SOUND 500 + ABS(SuzX - xx), 2: SOUND 10000 + ABS(SuzY - yy), 4: SOUND 100 + Suzette, 3 SOUND 10000 + ABS(SuzX - xx), 2: SOUND 500 + ABS(SuzY - yy), 2: key$ = "": r = r + 1: Zuzanna = 0 END IF RETURN ' CHARACTER 58 has been used to reduce ASCII character count, along with other things. ' this program has been coded to comply with Reddit's 40k character limit for posts. ' ' hope you enjoyed this! ' During the development of this video game, the website qb64.org shut down so it was a challenge coding this. ' ' One can go to http://qb64phoenix.com/ to download the Phoenix Edition of QB64 to run this program on. ' 

Edit: I believe this has been fixed.
So I've been playing and enjoying Everdale for quite a while now (233d).
Since I started playing, the game has always been smooth and a good experience in terms of performance.
However, more recently especially after the updates I've noticed the game has gotten progressively a tad slower in terms of how buttery smooth it used to be.
I decided to make this post because for some reason today especially, the game is stuttering fairly bad while moving the camera around in village and valley mode, even when filling tasks in construction etc.
I run a Pixel4a so it's not the fastest phone out there and I realise that when you start out you have less buildings than in late game etc so there's more and more things happening as you go along.
However it seems more so than the addition of buildings / villagers that the game started having hiccups after the updates.
Maybe it's just my phone etc but it's something I've noticed, anyone else?
I guess a thing I could suggest is maybe a graphics mode (low / high)? Or some quick and easy settings to do with shaders or something you could turn off.
This is one thing that really made playing Farmville 2 a real hassle, game was locked to 30 ish FPS and felt like 20. Everything was super slow.
So all in all, let me know what you guys think, I hope the game stays well optimized in the future.
Also thank you Supercell for Everdale, I've been really enjoying it thus far :)

Sorry for long post. It is hard to stop me when I get excited.
TL;DR: logistics and ammunition production. And a bit of EVE nostalgia.
For me, any strategy is about burning the whole map, be it Farmville or Civ or Stellaris. I am at war with someone 75% of time, flying here and there for decades and decades.
And recently, while watching news from Europe about real war (this is not politics post, relax), it struck me. All my wars are unrealistic, because I do not care about LOGISTICS. And intercepting logistics is how small entity can fight back against big one, with some degree of success.
Really, isn't it funny how I give builders 5 volatile motes, and they spit up a battleship who has enough torpedoes in stock to be firing them non-stop for 100 years? Where does even corvette store all those ammunition to fire three autocannons for years and years?
It would be interesting to have something like this:

• a planetary building to produce ammunition. make it produce alot, to not make wars impossible (remember, we love shooting at things), but slow enough so that you can't just build it on every new conquered planet and make this challenge negligible, thus instead it will force you to stockpile it on your planets BEFORE war. and those policies/ascensions that make ship building faster during defensive wars, also drastically increase ammunition production.
  
• new "A"-slot component to store ammunition, but once equipped, it makes it impossible to equip any armoshield to that ship. maybe make them use huge amounts of energy if they are equipped on anything except titan (see later), but it sure will need balancing. also can be different in sizes, so corvette can carry much smaller ammunition depot than battleship. also corvette cannot carry X-sized ammo, because they are bigger than corvette itself.
  
• maybe a new ship type that specializes in carrying ammunition. has lots of "A" slots, but slow and fragile, so it can be rewarding to sneak from behind and kill them.
  
• due to the dangerous nature of cargo, there is non-zero chance that some ammunition stored in depot can go kaboom when using jump drive (ammo in ship's turrets is safe). so either use warp drive as a reasonable space person, or jump around the map at your own risk. explosion will wipe out the whole depot and give a ship some damage. corvette carrying some S-sized ammo will not get killed, we are not stupid so we put thick armor on those depots. but corvette that was carrying those two L-sized warheads? send condolences to his family.
  
• to resupply fleet, both fleet and cargo ships must be docked to starport. it takes time and requires a starport building, but can be built on any owned space station of course. also make those starport modules different in sizes, so that you cannot resupply a battleship in tiny space station, thus you want to upgrade to, or conquer a level 3 station at least.
  
• that ammunition is not cheap to build. those esoteric dark matter torpedoes or megacannon projectiles, or some sort of crystals for energy weapon (sorry, shamelessly stolen from EVE)? man, you should reconsider using those ships to shoot at anything smaller than titan, unless you want to go bankrupt in single battle.
  
• space ports do not need that feature, I think. first, they die very very fast, so that they do not have chance of running out of ammo. second, it does not add anything to fun. third, they are big enough to have huge stockpiles.
  
• titans are also huge, and considering that titan has somewhat management-ish vibe in lore, titan is the only ship type that can equip both depot component and defensive modules. make supercapital ships make sense again.
  
• juggernauts, planet- and moon-sized crafts can have the building to produce ammunition, both for themselves and for fleet. but I am afraid to even think about what size of space station you're gonna need in order to dock that thing to resupply the fleet. juggernaut has shipyard, so maybe it can have a resupply module as well, but it totally cannot resupply (or take supplies from) anything bigger than battleship, without spaceport assistance.
  
• no idea what to do with strike crafts. maybe add strike craft production to titan and above ship sizes (protoss carrier sends his regards), but then strike crafts also need to be reimagined so that hangar now stores some amount of them and they are counted just as ammo.
  
• everyone loves megastructures. so, maybe some analog of mega shipyard, that can produce huge amounts of ammunition and can resupply any ship size. but it cannot move, so will it be useful when your fleet is 1000 days away from it? it can definitely be useful for defensive wars, or to quickly create stockpile of ammo before going on offensive war.
  

Having said that, I do realize that not all people are as insane stupid as me. And I never intended to ruin game for everyone. So I am not saying that this should go into release (unless, maybe?). Rather, this is kind of a thought experiment about "Stellaris meets Eve online".
But, if someone could make it into a mod... Give me you Patreon link, I have some bucks to spare to have new approaches to galaxy destruction.

Ok listen up, I know last week was brutal. My fun port is bleeding, the same color as yours. For the record though, I am still outperforming Cramer YTD, and I don't have my own audience and a TV show to shill my own tickers every 5 minutes.
This will be short, and let me just say that I am long-term bearish on this market. I have made plenty of 🌈🐻comments on this sub and warned everyone that this year was going to be when we go from Farmville to Dark Soul level of difficulty.
With that said, I don't think this is THE crash I was looking for.
You think 3 rate hikes from historic lows and the possibility of fed balance sheet reduction this year are going to cause a crash NOW?
Yes, the market needs to price in the higher rate environment. Yes, QT will be tougher on businesses, especially ones that don't make any money now. Yes, the fed achieving a soft landing of the economy is basically like doing a triple backflip off the roof of your house without the helmet your mom makes you wear in the house. Yes, the geopolitical risks from China and Russia are absolutely real. Yes, China's economy slowing down is absolutely going to affect the U.S. Yes, Covid isn't going away, and another random Greek letter (one that doesn't socially offend people these days) may cause another lock down scare.
But even when you take into account all of these risks, and even if you think the sell-off we have seen since late last week is justified to price in these risks, whatever triggered the selling does not pose a systematic risk for the entire market (not yet, at least). A lot of companies are still VERY profitable, and some will CONTINUE to be profitable in a QT environment this year.
So how do we explain the sell-off? What happened? Let's look at a few key data points, and you can put on your tin foil hat and form your own narrative.

1. All of a sudden, smart money started pulling the fuck out. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FJpXiJsXsAgHN4h?format=jpg&name=medium
2. And instead of buying the fucking dip, they built even more significant hedges. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FJqArQwXsAUTymg?format=jpg&name=medium
3. And the market sentiment is now at an ATL: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FJoBvFfXwAAZH-r?format=png&name=900x900

IMO, this smells like some smart money decided to pull their capital out to wait for the fed to tell them "what's in da box...", while others decided to go short and fueled any narrative to cause retail to panic. And it fucking worked. Retail is now buying puts and shorting the market. If an average WSBer started buying more put FDs than call FDs, that's probably a sign that we are closer to a reversal than we were before.
...
Don't get me wrong, I think we see some more pain next week, but statistically speaking, we may be closer to a bottom than you think.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FJpFhu5WQAATbxB?format=png&name=small
A lot of the shit companies have been taken out back and shot already, and this will continue to happen. But I think this is also when you need to update your buy list, if you have dry powder.
We need to continue to monitor the market action and think rationally.
...
But, for now...
I don't want to see you pull up the chart from 2008 or 2000 and say "look, goo goo gaga, we are going down boiz".
I don't want to see you start playing Komm, süsser Tod while YOLO'ing into 0DTE SPY puts.
I don't want to see you pull up a 20-year chart and say "look, based on the long-term market valuation, THIS is when we go down to PE Shiller fucking 16."
...
Again, let me emphasize that I am a true 🌈🐻. The actual crash (henceforth shall be known simply as "the rumbling") is coming, but this is too early. The market is too well-prepared, and the catalyst that poses a systematic risk isn't really there right now.
But make no mistake. The rumbling is coming...