Comp plans discussed here have me feeling burnt
I sell structures that have a lot of moving parts and come packaged with a full suite of supporting equipment so it takes a lot of technical knowledge, time and effort assessing each customer’s need, and how we can value engineer a solution that works for the budget.
I get 0.5% and a $75k base for structural material sales (agricultural). Consistently a top earner and one of the two top reps in terms of technical knowledge. Pulled around $106k last year off of $5M invoiced.
They then moved me from my sales estimating/design role (technical sales, only dealing with qualified large scale accounts, not responsible for much more than doing the presentation and adjusting quotes) to full-cycle sales (qualifying, closing, quoting, etc) which is much more responsibility (at least 2x fold).
However, they kept my comission structure the same as when I was estimating, with the excuse that my base rate is 2x the other reps (their comission rate is 1.25% vs my .5%, I get $36/hr they get $18/hr). They also took away my 1 week per month of WFH while the senior rep gets full time WFH, despite me outperforming him consistently in terms of activity and entered dollars. When confronted about this, the track record “isn’t proven enough”
Even with no pipeline (I didn’t get direct leads when I was estimating for the other rep’s leads), in the past year I have sold 2x more than the senior rep (only guy above me in this division, who has been with the company over 10 yrs), and closed a $600k deal which would be our company’s most high-profile/prominent project last month. I am immensely ambitious and hungry, with the results to back it up, but this company seems hellbent on keeping me from advancing my career
Seeing a lot of the folks comp plans here has me feeling like I’m getting fucked hard. I’m 27 and have been in sales/estimating for 3.5 yrs at this company for reference. Worked in industry before, which is why I’m so much more knowledgeable vs other reps. I talked to my manager about these concerns and he said “I make plenty for a 27 yr old” which made me see red. Leapfrogged him and discussed with his boss (3rd in command) who will be “looking into options” which seems like a cop-out.
Any tips on getting a better pay structure when ownership/management act like a bunch of chodes? Job market is soft in my field so getting competitive offers has been slow going. I’ve made millions every year for this company but asking for just .2% comission increase seems to be like pulling teeth. Ownership is so greedy here. $120-140M/yr but there’s never any money for the reps….
Morale here is so low, but all the reps love eachother like family, it’s really just the top 5 managers ruining the entire company for the rest of us (I can go on and on about how under qualified they are for their positions). Ideally would like to stay at this company as I bought a home in the area last year, but logic is telling me it’s time to rip off the bandaid.

First, this is a great feature - I love it and the kids like the novelty of being able to see the cars on the road behind us in the digital mirror while sitting in the backseats ….
One question - is it just me, or do other peoples eyes have a weird split second adjustment when glancing over at the digital screen while driving? I’m probably just getting old.. lol?
I really prefer the digital screen off for the most part but it’s a cool feature nonetheless

Despite many liking the game (me included), one of the most glaring issues of Fallout 4 is its writing, especially compared to its previous counterparts. I am not an expert of Fallout lore, so bear with me if what I write does not fit into the existing story, but I'd like to make a little theorycrafting experiment on how the story could have been changed in order to be more compelling. Spoiler alert: for obvious reasons I will talk about various parts of the story of Fallout 4, if you don't want to be spoiled, please do not read further.
1) the Institute and its goals: it's probably the easiest starting point to modify the story, as statistically it's the most probable antagonist faction for the players. In game its motives, goals and overall actions are very loosely defined. We don't know why they are obsessing so much over synths, since the scientists consider them as glorified Mr Handies and we don't know how do they intend to "Redefine Mankind" since they do not intend to have the synths replace all of humanity. But there lies the crux of the story, every faction, every main plot point ultimately relies around confronting, challenging or supporting this vague ideal, so let's try to tweak it. Fortunately the game already gives us a possible solution in the form of Nick Valentine, a gen 2 synths with the implanted personality of a Pre War cop, gathered by scanning its brain waves: what if this was the original and ultimate goal of the synth project? Making artificial bodies able to house an entire human consciousness, able to survive the hostility of the wasteland and its radiation without risking to become ghouls or mutants. This goal would also explain their previous experimentation with super mutants, in the research for the perfect body to give to the human race, in order to rebuild better and stronger than before. Of course they are pompous and arrogant so they would give themselves the priority and the right to choose who to preserve. Let's assume that this is the case and that, while gen 1 and 2 are piloted by a simple AI, all gen 3 synths are based on the Nick-Dima prototypes and house instead uploaded consciousnesses of Institute operatives, mercs like Kellogg, deceased scientists or important wastelanders that the Institute seeks to control and replace, of course by tweaking their memory and installing programmable failsafes. I can very well see a final quest in which you help Shaun deciding if he wants to upload himself in a synth and have you as either as his successor or as his second in command, or if he is ready to finally rest forever. Now we need the obstacles that stop them from achieving their goal and make them rely on the Sole Survivor. For example they might have not perfected this technology, this would involve altering Nick to explain why he was discarded, like losing the memories of his previous life, thus making his quest line having the meaning of reconnecting with his past life and coming to terms with the fact that he is not the same person anymore. The Institute might simply not have the means to reproduce that process to a large scale, thus the necessity for the reactor questline. And so on. But the major obstacle and, in my opinion, the more compelling reason for which they are seen as the boogeyman of the Commonwealts lies in my second point.
2) The Railroad and the Broken Mask incident. In game, the Railroad are this covert organisation that fights for the rights and freedom of synths who are considered slaves from their makers. Of course, if we assume that there are human consciousness inside the gen 3 synths, we will have to slightly change their ideals as well. If gen 3 synths now host incomplete or faulty human consciousnesses that can be manipulated or "hacked" by the Institute to make their bidding if need be, the Railroad might advocate for freedom of those consciousnesses and their right to have a life of their own. But this opposition would still be disregarded by the rest of the Commonwealth or downright opposed when compared to the possibility of one day achieving nigh immortality. So what if they were the ones secretly responsible for the Broken Mask incident and other malfunctioning synths, thus causing the subsequent isolation of the Institute and its reputation? This would entail making them a much older organisation than they are in game but I think that having spies and saboteurs inside the Institute and the shady tactic of sacrificing a few synths to save them all would give them a more interesting lore and moral debate. So on one hand you have the pompous and arrogant scientists that believe they can save humanity under their guidance regardless of ethics, on the other hand you have the guerrilla fighters that fight for freedom and rights of the individual, bur recurring to dubious means to gain support.
3) The Brotherhood of Steel. Changing the nature of synths also slightly changes their reason to oppose the Institute. They still abhor the merging of man and machine and the idea that the consciousnesses in the artificial bodies can be subjected to tampering from the Institute and the Railroad, but they could also be opposed to the idea of an indefinitely prolonged life. For example, with the disasters caused from the War, the Enclave and so on, I could understand if they were extremely wary to any means that could have preserved whoever was responsible alive and in power. This could give an entire new perspective on their outlook on ghouls, Mr. House, even on the Sole Survivor, as they are the representatives of the bygone era that brought about the nuclear catastrophe. So why should they take the risk and grant that opportunity to the Institute?
4) Minutemen. I don't think they would change all that much. They are the common people banding together for a better future, there is no fundamental change on their nature, except that depending on the player they could have more reasons to antagonise the Railroad or to not destroy the Institute, but of course it would change depending on the choice of the player.
Thank you if you took the time to read all that. I do not expect that many people to read this post but, nevertheless, it was fun imagining an alternative story. Of course any feedback is appreciated!

I used this company a few days ago and randomly saw this in my Reddit feed. We had a really positive experience. Our agent was super helpful and the price we received was lower than our agent was super helpful and the price we received was lower than almost all the other competitors all the other competitors. We even had some of those companies call us and tried to scare us into canceling with ShipWit. One thing about this car shipping business is it’s very competitive so do your research! Good luck.

I sometimes reminisce about this vivid dream I had as a child of 3 or younger. It is very peculiar. In this dream, I was an adult woman. I couldn't see my own face, but I had red hair. It started out with me opening the door to a house and stepping out into the driveway. It was a 2 or 3 storied bungalow type house. There was a blue car (maybe from the 80's or 70's? Definitely not modern) parked. A man (maybe in his 30's, blond) sat in the driver's seat waiting. There were two kids playing on a swing tied in a tree. The dream would then cut to us driving near some ind of fence while a some song played on the radio. We would park by a short metallic gate which would swing open with a nice loud creek. I grabbed the kids (two boys) from the backseat and we would all walk to a gravestone and the man would lay down some flowers at its foot. He would them step back and put his arm around me and kiss me and the dream would end.
Now here's the weird thing about this dream. I grew up in India and had no idea about graveyards and other western things at that time. I couldn't have heard of it from anywhere because, we never watched english movies or shows or anything. I didn't even have youtube then. I didn't even know people could have skin that white or that they could have red/ blond hair. The whole dream was from the actual perspective of an adult woman who was definitely taller than I am even now. I didn't know english at that point, but all the conversations in the dream were in english, and only later in life when having that dream became a regular thing did I start to understand what was going on. Another thing that was quite bewildering was that the whole scenery seemed pretty typical to some country like the US. I have always lived in a flat, and the house in the dream was a bungalow, which I think are somewhat common in the west. The man in the dream who I am assuming was my husband was very affectionate with me. My parents had an arranged marriage, they were never affectionate with each other. I didn't know people who were married loved each other and expressed it physically at that point.
I had this dream very often as a child (almost every day at some point). I am 17 now and still have this dream sometimes. Sometimes I see it in 3rd person. It has been bugging me for a while now, but I can never seem to catch a glimpse of my own face in the dream. Now that I know somethings about the world, I am starting to recognize more and more weird things such as the midwestern accent. It was there when I had the dream for the first time and every other time, but I have only recently recognized. A friend of mine thinks its some kind of past life memory but honestly I don't believe this. Can anyone try and make sense of it?

LinkedIn can be a sales goldmine when used strategically.

Among all the social media platforms out there, LinkedIn stands out as the go-to platform for professional social networking.

But with over 900 million people using it, how do you stand out?
It requires more than a compelling bio and a polished profile image.
Do You Know??

According to the latest statistics, 40 million people use LinkedIn every week to search for jobs, and three people a minute are hired on the site.

This article will cover:

1. Keywords
2. Headlines
3. Profile completeness
4. Job title optimisation /Work Experience
5. URL Optimization

What Is LinkedIn SEO?

How Search Engine Optimisation (SEO) works for LinkedIn???

LinkedIn SEO is all about optimizing your profile and content to boost your visibility and ranking, offering a myriad of opportunities for career progression, business networking, and establishing a prominent presence within your industry.
When you fine-tune your profile’s headline summary, work experience, and skills section with specific keywords, you can boost the likelihood of appearing in LinkedIn’s search results.
Imagine someone searching for specific keywords or skills related to your professional background – a well-optimized profile significantly increases the chances of your profile being featured in their search results.
On top of that, LinkedIn profiles can also show up in traditional search engine results pages (SERPs) like Google, expanding your online presence.
Beyond profile optimization, the impact of SEO extends to your content. LinkedIn posts and, particularly, articles have the potential to rank within LinkedIn’s search engine, showcasing your expertise within the platform.
Furthermore, these articles, with their long-form nature and valuable insights, can also rank on traditional search engines, leveraging LinkedIn’s high domain authority for increased visibility both on and off the platform.

Why You Need to Optimize Your LinkedIn Profile:

An optimized LinkedIn profile is one where every part of your personal profile is filled out and shows audiences what you do, who you are, and what you are an expert in.

This helps your profile rank higher in LinkedIn searches and builds trust among those who might want to connect or follow you.

Do You Know??
Even more compelling? Some 44% of LinkedIn users earn more than $75,000 a year. That’s a considerable bump up from the national median income of $68,703 per household.
Let's Dive in:

6 steps to help improve your LinkedIn SEO optimization for better results.

Step 1: Keywords.

A keyword is a word or phrase that searchers enter into a search engine. Learn more about Keyword Research. Examples of keywords and phrases include:
Example:
In seo bint e jamil, 'Digital Marketing Manager' is the keyword.

• Freelance Digital Marketer
• Certified Digital Marketer
• Best Digital Marketer

For LinkedIn, create a list of 7-10 words or terms that your ideal client would use when searching for the service you offer. For example:

• SEO Digital Marketer
• Digital Marketer Agency
• Digital Marketing Expert

Now, use these keywords throughout your profile in as many sections as possible, including your:

• Headline
• Role descriptions
• Skills and endorsements
• Skills and endorsements section. LinkedIn prioritises skills already in its database, so when adding a new skill, start typing it, then select the most relevant suggestion that appears.

Step 2: Profile Completeness

To rank highly your profile will need to be 100% complete, with every profile section completed. Consider using bullet points rather than paragraphs, and format the text so it’s easy to read.
Let’s take a look at what you should focus on to fully optimize your LinkedIn profile.

1: Images Optimization:

When you’re setting up your profile, you’ll want to make sure you’ve got a solid profile picture.

LinkedIn can be a sales goldmine when used strategically.LinkedIn can be a sales goldmine when used strategically.

Among all the social media platforms out there, LinkedIn stands out as the go-to platform for professional social networking.

2: LinkedIn Background Photo:

Background photos are like billboards. You can use this space to show your accomplishments and awards or offer free resources.

LinkedIn Background Photo Optimization
You should also:

• Add a tagline to inform visitors about who you are and what you do
• Include your website URL and social media handles
• Include a call-to-action (CTA) or provide clear instructions on how users can get in touch with you
• Make sure you avoid placing any important information on the bottom left — it won’t be visible

3: Craft a Keyword-Rich Tagline /Headline:

Your LinkedIn headline sits just below your profile image and name. Customising your headline is not only critical for SEO, it’s also an important part of your personal brand - how people view and perceive you on the platform.

LinkedIn automatically populates your headline with your current or most recent position – however, you have the option to customise it. Remember, you want the headline to create an informative and impactful snapshot of yourself.
Linkedin Headline Optimization
When creating your headline:

• Include your role title
• Include your industry
• Include your specialty
• Use all of the 120 characters available
• Steer clear of emoji use

Headline Example:

For a digital marketing manager, a similarly optimized tagline could be, "Innovative Digital Marketing Strategies to Elevate Your Brand's Presence" — placing the target keyword "Digital marketing strategies" prominently at the start.

4. Featured Posts on LinkedIn

The Featured section on LinkedIn is a space on your profile where you can highlight important content.

LinkedIn Featured Section
It’s near the top, below your photo and headline. You can use this section to showcase:

• Articles or blog posts you’ve written
• Videos
• Images, graphics, or infographics
• Documents, like case studies or whitepapers
• Testimonials or other achievements

Featured content isn’t permanent, so you can change it up to include new content as regularly as you like!

5.Create a Compelling “About” Section

The About section is the meat of your Company page. Here, you have the space to go into more detail, telling the story of your brand and naturally incorporating relevant keywords throughout.

About Us LinkedIn SEO
Here are some components to consider including in your About section:

• Your brand vision. Articulate the impact your company aspires to have.
• Mission statement. Use action-oriented language to describe how you plan to achieve your vision.
• Company values. Articulate your brand values to showcase your company culture and principles.
• Brand differentiators. Clarify your brand’s positioning to differentiate your company and its offerings from competitors.
• Products and/or services. Provide short overviews of your main offerings using clear, searchable terms.

Here’s an example of the beginning of an About section for a data analytics company:

At ABC Company, we democratize data analytics, enabling businesses of all sizes to unlock insights through our intuitive, AI-powered analytics platform.

Finally, you can add in some “Top skills” as a way to remind readers what your services are. This also presents another opportunity to add in your keywords.

6.Work Experience

When I’m looking at someone’s experience section on LinkedIn, I’m looking to see if they meet the criteria of the role beyond a job title. Their job duties and achievements give me a better understanding of their scope of knowledge and specific skill sets this role needs.

LinkedIn “Work Experience” section

Fields for LinkedIn experience entries

Each position on LinkedIn has a combination of required (*) and optional fields:

Required fields for LinkedIn Work Experience entries

Title*

List your position title, including any relevant keywords. Sometimes job titles benefit from being revised for common searches.
Example: "Content Marketing Manager" might be more search-friendly than "Manager, Marketing Content."

Company name*

Many companies already have a company profile on LinkedIn and will autocomplete from the LinkedIn Company Page in the dropdown as you type.

Employment dates*

This is usually shown by a start and end date. If you’re currently working in the role, click “I am currently working in this role” and it will automatically list your end date on your profile as “Present.”

Industry*

This doesn’t display on your profile. Select the best match and keep going.

Optional fields for LinkedIn Work Experience entries

The profile gets much more interesting with the additional, optional work experience fields including:

Employment type

Location

Sharing the location can give people reviewing your profile a sense of where you’ve worked (and where you’re likely based).

Location type

Choose from On-site, Hybrid, and Remote. Showing that you have experience working in a certain capacity can be valuable to some recruiters and employers. Example: If you have a work history in remote roles, you may be a strong candidate for additional remote roles.
Description
This is a written summary, usually two or three sentences long, that allows you to show your job duties, achievements, and expertise. By including relevant information with a few highlights and key accomplishments, you can improve your odds as a job seeker.
Pro tip: To further optimize your LinkedIn profile, consider using ChatGPT for your LinkedIn summary.

7.URL Optimization

LinkedIn allows you to personalise your URL, changing it from the automated URL, which is usually quite long and contains a random assortment of numbers. Upon updating make sure you update your email signature, business cards and other marketing collateral.
URL Optimization in LinkedIn SEO

• Standard URL example (not optimised): https://www.linkedin.com/in/seo-bint-e-jamil323389/
• Custom URL example (optimised): https://www.linkedin.com/in/seo-bint-e-jamil/

To change your LinkedIn public profile URL:

For LinkedIn Public Profile URL:

1. Click the Me icon at the top of your LinkedIn homepage.
   
2. Click View profile.
   
3. Click Edit public profile & URL on the right side.
   

• You’ll be redirected to the Public profile settings page.

1. Under Edit your custom URL on the right side, click the Edit icon next to your public profile URL.

• It'll be an address that looks like www.linkedin.com/in/yourname.

1. Type the last part of your new custom URL in the text box.
   
2. Click Save
   

Drive Results with LinkedIn SEO Optimization

By enhancing the different components of your LinkedIn profile page with a strategic approach to LinkedIn SEO optimization, you’ll be much more likely to appear in search results. This will go a long way toward increasing your visibility and helping drive more business opportunities. Remember that SEO isn’t just a one-time effort, but rather an ongoing process that requires regular attention and updates to deliver your desired results.

My cute dog (American Cocker Spaniel) will pass soon. He already had a bad start when he was still with his mom (inexperienced breeder). He spend the first few weeks in the hospital. Some of his brothers and sisters didn’t make it, but he did. When we had our first check up the vet told us that his lungs are not in a very good shape. The rest of his body was fine with the exception of his teeth which were close together and had some plague already.
During the years we encountered some problems. After weeks of searching what is happening we found he has an severe longterm allergy for beef. We eliminated everything which contains beef, they are everywhere even in Salmon Biscuits… after the elimination it went ok and we even got a second dog.
Everything was going well. He had some problems with teeth (bad shape, due to bad start and medicine there) and his temper like food protection or barking at cars / bikes, but it was fine and he got a good checkup every year including titer tests which were always ok. His health started to decline in the summer of 2023. He started limping on his front feed and was eating worse. We also noticed 2-3 weird spots on his skin which seems like hotspots. The vet told he was a bit heavy, he had a stiff neck and his intestines were a bit puzzled. A few sessions of acupuncture, good washing and balanced diet could help him, and it did help him for a few weeks.
In the winter his health suddenly declined and the weird spots on his skin increased and expanded over his entire body with crusts. He was losing a lot of hair. After a few vet visits, some medicine and some tests we discovered that he was highly allergy for almost everything you could imagine. This was a big message for me and my wife as it would mean we should change in the house a lot while we also have a other dog who lived the same life in perfect health. We switched to special hypoallergenic dog food of Hills so he does not react on that food and keep the other dog on his current food. We had to lock both pets apart and clean up where the other pet and also where we ate so he can’t get any other food in his stomach.
This worked for a few weeks. He remained happy when someone is home, we went to the forest or beach regularly and if I leave the house I always wants to be back as soon as possible to see my family again. I mainly work from home, so the two pets are always around and I have a deep emotional connection with them.
Unfortunately, the spots came back rapidly and he was shaking a lot. His teeth’s were also declining rapidly and his movement worsened that he could jump on the couch anymore and the stairs are done step for each step. We shifted from dexamethasone to Prednisone to see any difference, but recently we came to the conclusion that this and other treatments are not giving the results we and the vet wants. I was still looking for possible solutions, but my wife (had dogs in the past) and vet intervened that he is sick and everything we are doing could at the best only suppress symptoms, we were not making him better. EDIT: The vet said we were doing everything right on food, health etc. But basically his immune system is failing and not doing what it is supposed to do.
This week we decided to put him down. He will get his final rest next Saturday, on his fifth birthday. I’m devastated and keep crying that it is going to happen. Never had a pet during my youth and I’m just worried about the gap of the unconditional love he will leave. I’m also worried about my second dog who never has been alone and plays a lot with him and what this change will do with him.
While I’m writing this, my dog is sitting next to me and shaking. I find it very difficult he is passing at such a young age and weird thoughts are going through my mind if i could have prevented this, do things differently or anything to expand his time here with us. No matter what, I love him and keep carrying the awesome memories and the times he dragged me and my wife through really hard times in my heart. I saw this community and all the kind messages and advices, i thought i would give it a go also with my story and I’m open for advices on how to deal with the pain and some possible ideas to keep him close with me even if he is not there anymore.

I'm December, my wife and her family want to take our newborn daughter to the shrine of the mouse cult in Florida. By then she'll still only be 8 months old, and I know she's going to be hell to us and to ask the other passengers on the flight. I offered to drive instead because I really don't want to take her on board, but that idea was shot down because I can't take care of her and drive at the same time, and my wife isn't going to sit through a long car ride like that when flying is an option.
I don't even want to take her there in the first place, really. She isn't going to remember any of it, and honestly it's an overrated and overpriced place to begin with, so I'd rather just not spend the ungodly amount of money that we don't have to fly down there and stay a week and a half for a hellish experience that this child will in no way benefit from, and is just happening to satisfy their need to go to that damn place every year.
Anything I can do to at least make the flight less terrible for everyone on board?

Hello everyone!
I'm looking for wheel bearings for my car (Honda pilot 2009). We have tried Suheidi auto parts. They have the chinese version of it for 800ish aed but they told us it's not for long term.
We are hoping if the original part is available with a decent price.
Any advice/suggestion is welcome.

Hey all! Got a ethical modding question for you all
Me and my mate have been playing AC for years. We will sometimes find a car mod we like that’s got a good model but the data for it will be incorrect.
For example the wheel base and/or track is the wrong size, suspension is too stiff, engine has the wrong power output it, super tyres, more aero than an F1 car. Actually most common is just using the data from the little open wheeler from the base game.
So we modify these cars made by other people for our own use.
Sometimes we try and make the car a “real” as we can. We mainly play with road cars. So for those we get information online and watch reviews andvideos and try and make the move the same. I find a lot of these mods the car handle far to well. Some roads cars we have driven are faster than GT3 cars through the corners. We will also try and match performance targets.
We try and make each car have a character based on its personality. For example we have one car that has awful lift off oversteer. But if you can control it then it’s really fast and rewarding. Flaws can make something interesting and most real world cars have these flaws.
We also mod for fun. For example we made a drifting Volvo 850R.
In addition we also have made a race series were we found a variety of different cars and tried to balance them. Similar to in goodwood how you have mini vs mustangs.
So my question to you all is how would you feel about us publishing the data files? To respect the original author of the mod we would link to their source website to get the model. Even if the model is free. But make our data available to put on it.
It would also be cool to get people opinion on them.
If you are a modder how do you feel about us changing the physics on your car and publishing the data file.
As a quick additional and disclaimer. We don’t claim to make these cars 100% perfect and realistic. We just try and make them “feel” real and most of what we do is based on our enjoyment. We do this for fun. If we have changed a cars physics we arn’t criticising the creator. That could be how they felt the car would behave. We just had a different opinion based on our experience.

Hi all. I made a post about three weeks ago about how much I hated the mornings when I commute. It wasn’t the most popular post but I got such good advice from you all and I can’t believe how much things have changed in such a short time. I remember writing that post feeling like my nerves were completely shot and I was defeated, and I now sit on my train feeling like a sane, supported woman. So I figured I’d write an update on what changed.
(Original post here: https://www.reddit.com/workingmoms/s/w6HPZTCopq).
First: I talked to my husband. You all told me he needed to step up and I was a little resistant because we’ve come so far as a couple and through therapy and yada yada. But you were right. I think I had gone so far into therapy territory that I tried not to address it in the moment when I felt angry and heated but instead discuss it at a neutral time away from the heat of the moment. Generally speaking these are good tactics but I just woke up one morning and knew I hadn’t prepped lunches and really didn’t want to get up at 5am when he could just do it and I could sleep later if I didn’t have to worry about everything. So I just turned to him and said “I didn’t make lunches. Can you just do it and be in charge of getting them ready today?” And guess what? He said sure, and did it.
Second: Star chart FTW! This was not a suggestion from this sub but it’s a game changer. My kids were fighting every step of the getting ready process. However, my oldest responds well to bribery and this has been a happy upgrade from swinging between a battle of toddler wills (you’ll never win, ladies) and desperate bribery. She’s now an active participant in getting ready and looks forward to picking her prize every week. She’s in pre-k, so it’s great she’s taking this responsibility for herself. And tho my youngest doesn’t quite understand the chart, she copies everything the oldest does. (My oldest never used to give us a hard time about getting ready until recently, but I’d start this even earlier than pre-k if needed, tbh).
Third: I did my equivalent of “just leave”. Another big suggestion from you all was to just leave for work and let my husband get the kids out on his own. I couldn’t exactly do this, because we only have one car and he drives us all. However, I decided to let us go at his pace instead of taking on the roll of timekeeper. I had a bit of an anomaly in my schedule that let me take the later train, so I missed my train. Turns out he prefers to get us out early so he can exercise before work. Now that he knows that ’ll go in later and it’s on him if he wants his time, he’s more aware.
Fourth and final: another piece of advice from you all. I chilled out a little. Missing my train made me realize taking the next train now and again is not that big of a deal. I can work on the train and as long as I don’t have an early meeting, I can find ways to make up that time as long as it’s the exception not the rule. And I realized that I was bugging out about needing to be at the train 5-10 min early. It may be my preference but I’m still making my train and in return I get more peace from the family which is a good trade off. I also no longer give a shit if I leave the house with beds unmade and dishes in the sink. We’re functioning and that’s what matters.
So in summary, I basically stopped acting like the world would fall apart if I didn’t do everything and put more responsibility on my husband and kid and now everyone is happier.
Thanks, Moms!

(Throw away account. BACKGROUND: This isn’t about my marriage, but 2 friends of mine married to other people. I do not have a relationship with either of their spouses.)
I have two friends/former co-workers who are married to other people. We’re a pod of 3 and good friends. I am recently married and they are at the “small children” phase of their marriage, so they have a lot of advice. In March went to a work happy hour with them, with other colleagues around, and I caught them holding hands under a high top bar table…twice. I also noticed that left and came back together several times throughout the night. I obviously put 2 and 2 together, and to say I was shocked is an understatement.
Since then, I’ve just noticed a lot of things to make me go hmmmm (referencing holding hands at a bar, mentioning they are in the car together a lot, etc). We all went to a colleagues house recently. It was only 8 of us there, it was a “shoes off” house… I caught him holding her foot with both of his feet under the dining table (about 3 times), WHILE she’s talking to the table about wanting to have another baby with her husband 😵‍💫. They were just sitting very close to each other on the couch later in the evening.
Obviously at this point I am convinced something is going on. I’ve felt a range of emotions since the first discovery. I am conflicted if I say something to the effect of “people are noticing, I don’t want any negative consequences for either of you” (I do not want to have the “what are you doing, think of your spouses” talk with them because they’re adults and know the risks)….OR, do I stay quiet, but everytime I see secret PDA, it’s like taking an emotional bullet, and I get very upset on the inside (which is not good for MY mental health). I don’t want to/can’t cut off this friendship because the work situation is intricate (too long to explain). I am afraid if I say something I’ll lose the friendship. You can say this is none of my business, but they’re my friends and everytime I “catch” them, I feel more and more entangled in this.
Finally, the thing I truly can’t reconcile is…am I truly their friend, or do they look at me as this like, idiot 3rd wheel/buffer they keep around, because I have ~no idea what’s going on~?!? Please advise, because this is truly ripping me apart.

Hi all, any help here would be greatly appreciated - ended up in my first accident in a hire car and feel disappointed in how enterprise handled the situation.
So last weekend I rented a premium car from enterprise to drive from Sussex to Cornwall for my birthday weekend. Unfortunately I ended up in an accident (no TP involvement) on the A30 on the way there. Luckily no one was hurt but we needed roadside assistance to get the car off the road as it had a flat tyre. Otherwise the vehicle was still turning on and driveable but I'd assume damage costs will still be the full £250 that was quoted on our rental agreement (which I have a copy of, reduced excess as bought damage waiver optional).
We contacted enterprise immediately to report the accident and request roadside assistance, the car had been picked up about 45 minutes after the accident by the AA and traffic police were on scene to take a report of the incident. Enterprise did not tell me that they would be providing any courtesy car and as we were still about 1.5hrs from our destination they couldn't provide onward travel. This accident happened around 8.30pm and we called enterprise at 8.42pm. The car had been picked up and taken away by 9.30pm after they let us get our luggage out. We ended up spending the night at a premier Inn which cost £85.
The next morning at 10.30am I called our local enterprise branch from where we picked the car up and notified them. They said they were very busy with customers but that we would be able to get a replacement car if we rung around to see if there were any available in the branches close to us on the A30. We called about 4/5 different branches but phones were not answered or told nothing available. Called our local branch again and they said they would contact the area manager and raise the issue. By this time we had to leave the hotel as our checkout time was midday and so we had to order a taxi to take us the rest of the journey to our AirBnB. Taxi cost £110. Enterprise called back and said it wasn't looking good regarding replacement car so we started planning our travel arrangements back and bought train tickets for £56, for part of the journey.
We got a call later from one of the out of hours branches, around 6pm, who told us they could bring a replacement out to us later that evening, although it would not be a premium class car. We agreed and car was brought out to us at around 10pm.
From there we had no further issues, drove back on the Monday and took the car back to enterprise on the Tuesday morning: on time and check over was all OK. We spoke to the manager when we returned who had said that even though we were quoted 250 on the excess it should have been 500 for the premium car, so that would cover the costs of our additional stay and travel arrangements. They still charged us for the 4 days of use in a premium class car.
I don't know if it's worth mentioning also but there were some issues with the car when we picked it up (wing mirror buttons not working from inside car). We took the car back immediately as didn't want to risk trying to fix anything ourselves. Enterprise employee manually adjusted the passenger side wing mirror but that was all.
I can't find anything about their replacement vehicle policies online however, so am unsure where I stand exactly - am I able to seek further compensation from Enterprise?
TLDR - rented a premium car from enterprise and had accident, taking it off road. Enterprise provides replacement corsa 24hrs later and have still charged for the full premium rental and claim the low 250 excess that they (accidently) gave us should cover the compensation for additional travel costs

TLDR: why did it take you a while to leave, or why havent you left yet? I want to spread awareness about this topic.
I hate when people say this to abuse victims, it is absolutely ignorant and insincere. There was another post regarding this topic not too long ago, and I had made a comment about how i'd like to start a tiktok or something of stories of why people "dont just leave" abusive situations. A few people were keen on the idea. I want more people to be aware of the reasons, and be aware that its not just as simple as "just leaving." I think bringing awareness to the issue is important.
That being said, I am not self promoting as I have basically no following but if I do start trying to share info about the topic, I need some ideas on why we "didnt just leave." I doubt it will gain traction, but ya never know.
Reasons it took me a long time:
-Financial abuse. He always had control of the money. He made me work 2-3 jobs, but I was never able to squirrel away more than $300 or so at most, then an "unexpected" bill would pop up and I would have to fork over the money
-Also financial abuse-- he ruined my credit. Getting approved for a rental is darn near impossible with ruined credit.
-His threats that if I ever left, he would keep the kids and I would be paying him child support. And that is exactly what just happened in the last few months. The abusive man I left, now has primary custody of our small children. Its a long story, but there is a lot of corruption involved.
-Fear of retaliation/smear campaign. He is a prominent figure in the community we lived in. Everyone believes him because of the amazing persona he puts out to the world; no one truly knows what its like to be with him behind closed doors.
-His threats to kill me if i left. He attempted once, so this was believable.
-Losing absolutely everything. I left everything behind but suitcases and what I could pack in my car. I realize that its just material possessions... but it is really, really hard to part with literally everything you own and start totally fresh. Is it worth it? Yes. But I had to learn to be ok with letting go of sentimental things as well. I also lost basically all of my friends. He smeared me so badly most stopped talking to me. And yes, I know, if they don't stick with me through this they probably arent true friends. Regardless, losing them is still difficult and coming to the realization that people you thought were your best friends that cannot support you, is heartbreaking.
-Lack of police support-- the night my ex tried to unalive me the police were called by neighbors. They showed up, did not question why I was soaking wet in clothes, why my fingers were 5 times the size due to being broken, they didnt even separate me from my ex to ask if i was ok. They took one look at him, asked if everything was OK, then told us to "keep it down." Once they left, my ex told me "see? even the police wont believe you." I also tried getting the police to help me obtain my items... they said its a civil matter, and if i showed up on MY property (my name is on the deed) that I would be arrested.
The list goes on. I have finally left. But I am trying to win custody of my kids back, and starting my life over while living with my parents. If you feel comfortable sharing, what barred you from "just leaving?" Why haven't you left? Why did it take a long time to leave? What obstacles did you have to overcome to leave? I will absolutely not share any names or personal details if you choose to share with me so I can try to share with the world.

On Feb. 9, 2022, I officially became "Homeless" on state record and applied for rent and housing assistance in Knoxville through KCDC/Section 8.
Per today's date:
Zeitraum = 825 days aka 27.123 months. This is exactly the length of time I've been surviving homeless.
It wasn't until THIS YEAR that my name "officially" has gone from being on their "PRE-waiting list": aka the long-ass waiting list you're on BEFORE graduating to the "OFFICIAL" waiting list.
*Btw, no one informed me of this being their process. I waited for many hopeful months while living out of my car, waiting to be called that I contacted them to get the news of only being on the PRE-waiting list- List. Good shit...
So, I decided to visit KCDC in-person last week to speak to them about my still pending status and ask if there were any actions I could take to help my chances of having a place to call home...
FYI: The Broadway location is ONLY for applying to any of their listed complexes. Unfortunately, ALL their waiting lists are also completely full.
*The Harriet Tubman location is for applying or relating to receiving vouchers for financial rental assistance.
FYI: you can ONLY APPLY for a voucher between their generous hours of 8AM-3PM only on the 2nd WED of each month, just fyi for any new applicants.
All I was told at each location was to "continue waiting" and that I would one day be contacted whenever my name came up.
The housing costs in Knoxville, especially have risen quickly dramatically even since when I very first began applying and they'll continue this trend.
**BTW, they're SHUTTING DOWN our Homeless Shelter on Broadway due to a LACK OF FUNDING (good timing), so yet another option we can all cross off our lists of any places to lie our heads down at night.
Pretty ironic that TN is the FREAKING VOLUNTEER STATE, considering... "GO VOLS", am I right??
See news link here: https://www.wate.com/news/knox-county-news/the-foyer-a-low-barrier-knoxville-homeless-shelter-set-to-close-as-officials-seek-new-operato
Oh yeah, HOMELESSNESS IN TN is also now a CLASS E FELONY!
*You are automatically disqualified from receiving public assistance such as Section 8 and SNAP benefits unless you've fully paid off ALL FEES (up to $3,000 for being homeless) and have fully completed your probation period! *KEEPING THINGS REALLY CLASSY, TN! 😜 (Also, you can't sleep in your vehicle at any rest stops, either. Also illegal. You can sit there in your car for only 3hrs max.)
"In Tennessee, felonies are classified from A to E, with Class A being the most serious and Class E being the least severe. A Class E felony in Tennessee is the lowest level of felony. It includes offenses such as theft of property valued at $1,000 to $2,500, certain driving offenses like third or subsequent DUI offenses, stalking, and forgery. The typical punishments for Class E felonies in Tennessee include: 1. One to six years of imprisonment (PRISON TIME, not jail), and/or 2. Fines up to $3,000. (Also, just pointing out that with any Class E felonies, being the "least" serious felony, if any fines for the offense are deemed as "unspecified" in their books, they then have the capability to charge an offender up to $50,000.)
However, these punishments can vary based on a variety of factors such as the exact nature of the crime, whether or not the defendant has a prior criminal record, and other relevant factors considered by the court." See specifics here: https://codes.findlaw.com/tn/title-40-criminal-procedure/tn-code-sect-40-35-111/
Covertly, they've named this abomination as the:
"Equal Access to Public Property Act of 2012.” Makes it sound so helpful and positive for us, doesn't it? Thanks, guys! LOL!
See below what all is covered, including: **If they happen to search and find any of your stored belongings (likely being at times literally their entire life's possessions, including if they find you've stored your food somewhere) the police will immediately confiscate it, and then you will have a total of 90 days to go to them and claim all your belongings or else they'll consider it as "abandoned property". You must detail exactly where on the property that they found your items, so that they then will slap you with a Class E Felony, charge you a "holding fee" for whatever amount of time they "stored" it for you, also stating that "the court shall include an order of restitution for any property damage or loss incurred as a result" of you or your belongings being present on the state property. But hey, at least you get your items back!
https://law.justia.com/codes/tennessee/2021/title-39/chapter-14/part-4/section-39-14-414/#:~:text=It%20is%20an%20offense%20for,agency%20responsible%20for%20the%20land.
My Story: (if you've made it this far and give any shits about hearing it for the sake of context.)
Around 1 year-deep into the COVID-19 pandemic, I had been living in an expensive house centered in the North Knox Historic District, working FT at a job I'd spent the past few yrs diligently climbing their ladder, and splitting the house payment with my then, Fiancee of 5 1/2 yrs. He began dating a different girl, had moved her into our house, while stating that "If I didn't stop being depressed, he was going to kick me out". Unfortunately, the house had been put solely in his name when bought. You see, my grandmother had just passed from COVID-19, my childhood best friend had just passed away, and I had been informed suddenly that my 84yrs-old dementia-ridden Father was getting worse and also nearing his last days. Not long after, my older sister contacted me acting upset, stating that he now needed to be on continual watch for FT care, so I packed my things, left my fiancee and my then home and moved in to care for my late father. Eventually, I had to leave my job to fulfill my caretaking duties but I don't regret being there for my father but it grew to be very difficult times, as it was for many those yrs. Dad passed away Jan. 31, 2022. My mother immediately inherited the house at his death, per their messy divorce agreement many yrs before. She so graciously left no time after me literally watching him take his very last breath in the bedroom down the hall from my own for her to serve me immediate eviction papers, now forcing me to leave the home that I grew up with my father in, while being raised. This house, I had only 1 year previous, agreed to my mother and sister when they had requested this of me, quit my long-term, FT job, losing all my sources of income in order to live with and solitary care for my father. (Everyone else- meaning my mother and 3 sisters -were all "too busy" to help me out or give even short breaks. I'm informing you of this, so that anyone that ever says to themselves, "why don't they just go live with family", can comprehend how that's not an actual option for everyone, so when the systems are failing, ppl aren't always on the streets or living out of their cars bc of drug problems or laziness or whatever other common misconceptions I've heard from ppl that are limited in grasping these situations for others. That last month that he was still alive, they all "forbade" me from leaving the house at all nor having any visitors "for his health", despite my deep despair from watching his health ferociously decline, resulting in my very rapidly declining mental health and massive weight-loss and over-exhaustion. Upon receiving my eviction notice, I then immediately began applying for Section 8 assistance. I had no one left and nowhere to go. It's like this for a lot of people. Don't assume ppl always have any other options available, is my point of giving so much backstory. Not exactly trying to "victimize" myself here for pity. I'm strong, I've got this. Just trying to get some points across for when you judge another's situation that you don't know.
Ok, here's the last I'll say about all this. Just humor me and try to consider what I'm pointing out here.
Every single one of us local TN natives have seen through the years how various homeless individuals will bravely step into some of our favorite local diners, gas stations, retail stores, etc. Them, asking employees permissions for maybe utilizing a restroom, some cold water or a drink, often after them walking around most the day (shelter kicks everyone out once it's morning), often after being in our unforgiving weather or high temps. Sometimes, they're asking even for a small bite to eat or leftovers from the kitchen. SO MANY times throughout the years, we've all been standing by, as we witness some enraged employee or the manager angrily decline, followed with often loud threats of calling the cops on them, etc in an attempt to motivate them to not come back asking later, as now they see how many of their annoyed paying customers are actively shaking their heads and shaming their whole interaction with rotten looks of disgust.
I mean after all, our businesses ABSOLUTELY can't be taking any risks of "losing their dedicated customers, just BC some "lazy bums" keep showing up, "always asking for free handouts" and "scaring away our business".
Really, it's best to just not give them anything in the 1st place cus ya know, just like strays, they'll "just keep showing back up"...
Right?
Excluding sometimes a random kind individual's exception, for the most part this mindset I'm highlighting here has most often worked as an sorta unspoken "Golden Rule" when we're relating to how we'll decidedly "handle" our large and growing homeless population.
Now that our housing prices have fully skyrocketed, with increases markedly on the rise almost immediately after the COVID-19 Pandemic that left so many of us without income that was supporting our access to necessities. Many, many "middle-class" individuals who were previously working averaging their 5 days/week (ty past labor strikes enforcing our allowance of 2 days off) and living comfortably on their 40hrs/week paychecks are currently struggling to find availability and also afford even a 1br ran-down apartment in our "lower-class" neighborhoods. Most are now working multiple jobs trying to keep up, and childcare isn't offered for free, so it keeps everyone from having opportunities to not only spend time raising their children vs random strangers who are also overworked, but how can you save money when you're losing part of what you earn, just to be able to go to work and not be fully abandoning your children to fend for themselves if left home alone?
Often, homeless ppl can be seen all throughout our city, and guaranteed to be growing in mass numbers when inching closer toward that underpass leading up to the Historic Gay St./Downtown/UT campus/Cumberland Strip. *It's really fairly ironic I've thought, how so much of our income has always been made/spent here, however we're required each time, to first drive through the huge crowd of terribly unfortunate ppl left standing without their bare necessities, often left to sleep outside the packed shelter when it hits capacity, which is always a guarantee. They're not left outside strictly bc they're "on drugs", like a lot have been led to believe.
Lastly, but oh of such an amazing relevance-
**Here's some realism surrounding our cultures' universally pre-conceived (disconnected/egotistical and mis-informed), accepted stigma that states the following phrase:
"These ppl just won't get a job bc they're SO LAZY and just want to live off all us hard-working American's tax dollars...blah blah blah.." Employers won't hire if you don't have an address and the shelters fail to deliver anyone's incoming mail, nor do businesses want to hire a homeless person showing up without proper hygiene or attire or any kind of criminal record. Also, transportation is a bitch. KAT bus costs money, and is very limited on its area services. By walking such lengthy distances, not only can your safety be at risk (especially for Females or any shifts beginning or letting out after dark) but you're gonna be super sweaty and gross by the time you actually arrive to then work a full shift, if you can even somehow make it on time every day by walking for hours before and then after every single shift that you show for.
This isn't any kinda "new" issue for the poor, btw. Don't be such heartless fools, making someone else's situation about "you".
Life's realities can forcibly humble an individual, catching us off-guard for what we'll often end up facing. Always count your blessings and never assume you know anything about anyone else's struggles or how they got there. We're all just trying to survive in this place.
Thanks for reading and hopefully this info helps bring insight to whomever reads this. Good luck out there, I mean it. We got this. ❤️

Just putting this anecdote out there in case it’s helpful to someone.
My wife drives a 2020 Kia Niro HEV. Last year, the Electronic Parking Brake (EPB) and Auto Hold lights on the dash kept randomly turning on. The only way to turn them off was to restart the car. It didn’t seem to cause any noises or affect driving at all.
We took the car to the dealership and they ended up replacing one of the brake rotors. This kind of spooked us because we took a road trip before getting the problem fixed (it was a required work trip and and the lights hadn’t come on for several weeks at that point).
Don’t be dummies like us - if your car is under warranty, have it serviced!

I came to the US as an immigrant and I'd like to give thanks to the Marine Corps for allowing me to make a living.
I'm the 12 year old mexican girl bagging your groceries at the commissary. And if you don't start tipping I'mma come make you sorry. I be doing forced child labor like I'm in a red state.
There's a sign that says, "Baggers work for tips only." The word only is underlined three fuckin times cabron, that puts the responsibility of my pay onto you.
"Oh I'd tip, but I have no cash, sorry." And then you whisper, "Hey could I get $20 cash back?" Then just stand there and refuse to make eye contact and watch me struggle to keep up while you elect to just pretend to stare at the assortment of candy bars for 5 minutes instead of helping. The belt never ends, just like yours.
My 12 year old limb hands you your chef boyardee bag and code red 12 pack and your ammo can lift lyin' ass limp noodle arms crumple like the new wook wobblin through the MUF. You give an apathetic glance at the tip jar as I hand you your fourth bag of full of ramen. "I add an egg for protein." I don't give a fuck, puta.
Then I like to start a friendly scripted conversation to guilt trip you into tipping me and force you to acknowledge my existence. I like to comment, "Oh I love these." every time I see a bag of hot cheetos or takis.
It's fucking hard around here, I'm competing against that bitch rebecca and her puppy eyes, multiple frail asian grandmas, and the rich officer's kid being forced to work for character.
I'm a shitty bagger who bags shit into shit commissary bags for the shit bag who needed a bag for 1 energy drink that's gonna make him shit bad. Cash me outside, hauling this shit to your car as well.

So I am currently stuck in my home country , I left Canada with an expired trv and I am thinking go fly to the US and from there getting to Canada by car, so I wanted to know if the TRV is just asked if you travel by air since I have my legal status in Canada as a student and maybe it it’s just easier by ground ? Let me know thanks