Hello wonderful folks of Wellington!
My family and I recently moved to Wellington on an entrepreneur visa. We've been warmly welcomed by this incredible city and are eager to plant our roots here. As part of our visa requirements, we're seeking to invest in a commercial property for our business operations.
After months of searching across Wellington City, Lower Hutt, and Porirua, we've narrowed our options down to a promising 50sqm unit in town. Built in 2010, the property boasts excellent maintenance, (relatively) low council and body corporate fees (under $6k/year), and a 100% NBS rating. However, the vendor's asking price is $350k, while our budget aligns closer to $300k.
I've had experience purchasing residential properties with unconditional offers before, but commercial real estate is a whole new ball game. As we navigate this new venture, I'm seeking advice from the community on several fronts:

1. Conditions of the Offer: What conditions should I include in the offer to protect our interests and ensure we're making a wise investment? I've been provided with a template "due diligence clause" by the vendor's agent, but I want to make sure we're covering all our bases.
2. Due Diligence: What specific due diligence should I conduct before making an offer and before finalizing the purchase? Given that there's no LIM or Builders report available, how crucial are these reports in the commercial property context?
3. Negotiating the Asking Price: How can we effectively negotiate with the vendor given the discrepancy between their asking price and our budget?

Some additional details to consider:

• We're purchasing with cash.
• We would prefer to stretch the completion out to Sep/Oct to align with our GST submissions and avoid tying up funds unnecessarily.
• While we don't foresee using the property extensively due to our digital/web3 business model allowing remote work, our visa and business plan require the property to be for our own use, precluding the option of earning rental income from it.

Additionally, if anyone has experience buying commercial property in Wellington or insights into the local market dynamics, we'd greatly appreciate your input.
Thank you in advance for any guidance or tips you can provide.
Cheers!
Mother-Wonder6593

My(16F) Boyfriend (18M) and i recently got into a relationship. my boyfriend is a senior and i am a junior, before getting into a relationship we were best friends for around 3 years. we have been through thick and thin together and both have grown into who we are today. next week we will be coming up on our 4th month; it has been a very short relationship however he and i have both grown as people so much together and have learned so much relationship wise. because we have been friends our relationship has moved faster than all our previous ones, however we also are so connected on a deeper level that it feels like we have been together for years. our friends often compare us to an old married couple, we sit on par benches and admire the nature around us for dates, bicker and joke around with each other, and have kind of an old souls tied together type relationship. now for the hard part, getting into this relationship we both agreed that this relationship is on a timeline and that we will have to break up and continue on as being just friends moving forward because he is going to japan for the whole summer and then immediately to college. at first i was accepting of this because we had agreed on this very early in our relationship. however, as we continued i fell more and more in love with this man each day. i truly didn't know i could love a person this much and it hurts. i talked to him some weeks ago about this and practically begged him to reconsider us breaking up. i told him to take a couple days to take some time to think about this and to have a conversation with me about it when he is ready. this past weekend he sat me down to have the conversation, he told me that his opinion had not changed because he wanted to end this relationship on good terms and not have it on a lifeline throughout the summer and possibly the school year because he is HORRIBLE at texting people and hates being on his phone. he told me that he wont cut me out of his life and that he will never stop liking me and if it works out would like to try again in the future, however he made me promise that i wont hold out for him and mold my life to getting back with him. he still wants to be a big part of my life and still be my best friend. i agreed with this and told him that if that is what he wants that is what we will do and that i am not gonna fight for him to change his mind. while i am happy that we will stay in each other's lives and can still be possibly together romantically again in the future. however i am very scared that i could be losing the love of my life... as crazy as it sounds i truly feel like our relationship is so much more than a casual high school relationship or a relationship to learn how to properly love in a relationship. yes we have learned a lot and have taught each other so much but i am afraid one of us will potentially move on while the other is still holding onto hope that we will end up together again, mainly the person holding on being me. he is staying local for college and will only be about an hour at most away and the college he is attending is one of my top colleges as well. we both have similar future plans and wants and when talking about what we want in the future such as what we want our future house to look like, kids, marriage, and careers we have similar if not the same ideas and expectations so it feels like the universe is simply making it obvious that we are so much more than a temporary fling. however i believe that if we are meant to be, we will come back into each other's lives at a better time and a lot of our friends also believe that we are meant to be together. i am still going to keep my promise of not intentionally holding out for him, however dating him has raised my standards way to high for most likely all other boys our age, he is the only person in my life that i know will play a significant role in my life and will have a major part in my big life events such as my wedding. what that role specifically is, only time will tell.
thank you for listening to my rant, i apologize for all grammatical errors and run on sentences.
**TL;DR;** : my boyfriend and i are breaking up over the summer however i am absolutely devastated because i believe that we are meant to be together

Sorry for how long this is, I've got that ADHD trait where everything feels important for context. I'm also still trying to process everything.
So I (30F) just had my first baby six months ago. My dad passed away 12 years ago and I lost ties to his side of the family, partially because most my uncles (he has 4 brothers) live in different states and partially because my dad was the person to plan everything. So, most of my family I'm in contact with is my mom's family.
Typically, if my family invites me to family events or holidays they do so through my mom or my uncle (mom's brother) texts me or calls me. My mom, though, has been struggling with her mental health since my dad passed and the only people she really talks to are me, my brother (who lives with her), my grandma, and my great aunt. She occasionally interacts with her brother and sister. My grandma is your typical bitter, white, racist old lady and is kind of toxic toward my mom (she belittles my mom's feelings, usually places blame on my mom, plays clear favorites with her kids, etc.). So my mom has dealt with anxiety any time she's going to visit my grandma for holidays or to stay with her if she is having health issues or to watch my aunts house (she lives next door). My grandma lives about an hour from us. My mom lives 5 minutes away from me.
So the last few big holidays my mom didn't want to go to her house because of the anxiety, and as I had a newborn and was recovering from a c section (had the baby 11/19 so a week before Thanksgiving) we decided to do small holidays. For Thanksgiving I invited my mom to come over and she offered to cook Enchiladas (rather than a whole feast - which I was fine with). She brought the food over, her and my brother ate, but I wasn't hungry, yet, so I just hung out. She held the baby for a few minutes, then they both just left after the baby started getting a bit fussy. Didn't offer to help clean up, left the food on the stove (which was on) and left. I was still recovering from surgery and my partner had taken the opportunity to get some sleep since he didn't think I'd need help as my mom was there. So, I couldn't put the food away and just leave my crying newborn baby alone. Not to mention I wasn't stable enough on my feet because of where I was in my recovery. I don't remember what we did for Christmas, she did come by on her own (without my brother) and gave us gifts and hung out with the baby. She also came over one other time for a few hours to watch the baby so me and my partner could get some rest. She was at the hospital when I was in labor and after having the baby but didn't really do much to help except get me food and maybe help change a diaper. When we were discharged I told her not to worry about coming to the hospital but she was welcome to come to our house, but she said she didn't want to intrude and let us adjust to having the baby at home.
I text with my mom every few weeks and it's been clear for years that her depression has gotten pretty bad. If she talks about herself it is incredibly negative, or she is angry with everyone around her. I'm really the only one who sure hasn't been angry with. I've spent the past few years essentially being her only support system (next to my grandma and my brother - who is also battling his own mental health). I've also spent the last few years trying to get her to see a mental health professional.
She finally admitted she needed to address the anger she was having with my grandma and her incredibly low sense of self-worth. Over the last year or so I have been working with her to get her into a therapists office. I've found therapists that I think would be a good fit for her and contacted them on her behalf (I started by just sending her their contact info, but she kept coming up with excuses of why she hasn't, like she forgot to stop into the office of one she wanted to go to that was next to her masseuse or she was too anxious to call because she'll sound like an idiot). She didn't hear anergy back from them (but she also probably just didn't see any emails since her email inbox is so full with spam.) She finally asked her primary to see a psychologist and made an appointment. I texted her a week before mothers day just to check in with her to see how it went. Found out she got scammed (not from the psychologist) and it made her feel like she was dumb and couldn't do anything right. I did what I could do balance the line between comfort and trying to challenge her negative thoughts of herself. We didn't discuss mother's day.
Fast forward to the day before mother's day, my MIL's boyfriend invited me, my partner, our baby, my SIL and their grandma to breakfast on Saturday. (I also want to add, my MIL and her boyfriend watch the baby every weekend, they cleaned our house when I was in the hospital, then they helped us when we came home so I could shower and get check ups set up.) I still didn't hear back from my mom, so I texted her at 10am on Saturday asking if she wanted to go to breakfast on mother's day. During breakfast my MIL asked what I was doing and I told her I was planning to go have breakfast with my mom, but my partner had to work in the afternoon and didn't have anything else planned. I didn't hear anything back from my mom still, so when my MIL texted me that night (around 11pm) saying she wanted to see me to get pictures of me and my son on my first mother's day, I gave her my schedule and she told me to let her know a time in the morning. That night my son was up every two hours, so I didn't get any sleep until my partner took over around 4am. I woke up around 9:30ish and just ended up ordering breakfast. While we were eating we made a plan that while he was at work I would go see his mom and when he gets off we'd go thrifting then go roller skating (because mom's skate free on mother's day). I texted his mom times and everything was set. Then my mom finally texted me back saying happy mothers day and assuming I'd received an email inviting me to go to my grandma's house for mother's day. I had not, and told her. She said apparently I was left off the email my uncles fiance had sent (which she also was the first time - so I was left off multiple emails) and she said that it was an accident and that I was welcome, then asked if I had plans. I didn't think my uncle's fiance left me off intentionally, but I already had plans and told her this. Didn't hear anything for a few hours then realized I forgot to say happy mothers day and sent her another text doing so and that I love her.
I still haven't received back any response. I haven't heard anything from the rest of my family (except my brother on my dad's side who lives in another state and is completely unrelated to this). I did not go to the mother's day thing, I wasn't going to cancel the plans I already made and I wouldn't have had enough time to squeeze in a visit since it was an hour away and an hour back and would've been an all day thing. I'm incredibly disappointed and crushed, and really, really miss my dad. It was my first mother's day and the only one who put any kind of thought into it was my mother in law and my own family - my mom included - seems to consider me an after thought. They're supposed to be the ones to provide support and love through all of this. The janitor from my work sent me a happy mothers day, redditors I chat with who don't even know my fucking name wished me a happy mother's day, someone I just started talking to like 2 days ago wished me a happy mothers day, but my own family couldn't even send a text??? Ouch.
Sorry again for how long this is, I'm just kinda fucked up from the whole thing.

If I hadn’t drunk an entire gallon of tea back at the hotel, maybe none of this would’ve happened.
Well, maybe if we hadn’t gotten kicked out of the hotel, none of this would’ve happened.
It had been just the two of us in the small car, but with the animosity heavy on the air, it felt overcrowded. I don’t know what had been worse, the hour of arguing, the two hours of silence afterwards, or the burgeoning realization that maybe I didn’t know him as well as I thought I did.
I studied him out of the corner of my eye. We'd been together for several months, but the recent experience left me wondering if I had ever even met the real Brian – who he truly was on the inside.
It had been our very first trip together.
We'd saved up for one of those super fancy hotels and had been having a great time – until, of course, Brian decided to attempt a five-finger discount in the jewelry store in the lobby.
He'd told me when we first started dating that he'd had some run-ins with the law in the past – when he was young and that was the only way to put food on the table, and I'd understood.
But this wasn't the same. It wasn't for survival, it was just greed.
We’d both spent the rest of our vacation money and then some, paying for that $1,800 watch so no charges would be pressed.
They still kicked us out. I don’t blame them.
Asking him to stop at the next place we came across was the first thing I'd said to him in hours, and he nodded, solemnly.
My discomfort was escalating to the point where I was considering asking him to pull over on the side of the road – rain be damned – when we saw the dim sign flickering in the distance.
The small store was out of place on the quiet, tree lined mountain road. We’d been deep in a tunnel of trees and hadn’t seen so much of a hint of the lights in the distance – it seemed to just appear into view as we went around the bend. I didn't recall seeing it on the way to the hotel, so it was a pleasant surprise.
I felt a flood of relief wash over me.
It stuck out in the otherwise beautiful mountain landscape – windows so dirty that the light inside barely reached us through them – several letters on the sign lit up in such a way that the only word we could even see was a blood red '- MART' flickering.
Any relief I'd managed to feel was short-lived.
When we walked in, we both froze as we took in the interior.
I instantly wished we’d just stopped by the side of the road after all. I looked at Brian and could tell he felt it too – he was fiddling with his new watch and took off his glasses, cleaned them on his shirt, and put them back on, as if that would make what he was seeing make more sense.
There were no other customers, no employees visible, it was just the two of us.
Ceiling tiles hung askew, and the floor was filthy – we had to step over a drain in the floor with grimy stains circling it, to walk in.
If it weren’t for the lights, gentle hum of the AC, and grinding sounds floating from down the long hallway at the back, I’d have thought the place was abandoned.
It was humid inside, and the smell coming from the old coolers that lined the back walls hit me as soon as we walked in. It reminded me of the summer my dad had decided to dabble in taxidermy in our basement.
The slight hint of rot that lingered on the damp air indicated poorly done taxidermy, at that.
As I darted towards the back towards the restroom sign, a placard dangling off it caught my eye, informed me the restroom was for paying customers only.
I quickly perused the shelves for something to buy. The aisles were tall, nearly to the ceiling, and despite the store being somewhat small, I felt the panicked sense of being cornered and trapped in an endless maze – at risk of becoming lost in there forever. The food on the shelves resembled nothing like the usual chips and candy these types of stores carried – there were rows upon rows of soft looking mystery items in plastic wrap, some of them leaked a red-brown residue down the shelves – none of it looked remotely appealing.
I passed by a section with a stained placard that said ‘handcrafted from local artists’ that was filled with eclectic items, none of which seemed to go together.
There were torn shirts with random logos – nothing related to the town or area we were in, stained with mud, grass, and god knows what else. Dried ropy things formed small and delicate sculptures of animals unlike any I’d seen before. I reached for a bracelet with intricately carved white beads but nearly dropped it when I realized the band was made up of woven human hair. It left a residue on my hand, and I noticed then that the same sour-rot smell was coming from the collection of items, too.
I opted for a flat and lukewarm Dr. Pepper instead, and placed two $2 dollar coins on the glass counter in front of the hand scrawled ‘shoplifters will be processed’ sign near the register.
I figured I misread it, after all it, looked like it had been written by a hand unused to holding a pen.
Brian had grabbed an armful of those unnerving plastic-wrapped packages but hovered at the counter a bit too long. I could hear the scrape of him retrieving the coins on the glass, the sound of him dropping them into his pocket.
He gave me a pointed stare as he did so.
I sighed, so tired of arguing that I just walked away from him and down the hallway. I figured I’d pay (again) after he got back in the car.
No sooner had I closed the door to the women’s room behind me, than I could hear him talking to someone.
His voice rose until he was nearly yelling. Mortified and trying to delay being involved in another incident that day, I splashed water on my face while trying to drown out what appeared to be a one-sided argument.
I kept trying to wash the grimy feeling that had lingered on my hands after picking up the bracelet, but no matter how I scrubbed, I couldn’t get it off – it kept getting worse.
I felt nauseous when I realized the greasy residue was coming from the pale-yellow bar of soap. I decided I’d scrub my hands raw at our next stop, and stepped out into the hall and back to the store.
Brian wasn’t there.
I called out for him, but all I heard in answer was that same vague whirring and drilling sound coming from further down the long hallway.
I double-backed to the car, but found it empty.
I circled the store, my frustration turning to panic as I shouted his name and still got no response.
I called his phone, it just rang, and rang before going to voicemail.
The car was locked and he had the keys, I couldn’t help but feel nervous, standing out there in the rain. We were still in the middle of the deep woods and with clouds obscuring the light of the moon and stars, the area was blanketed in darkness. I reluctantly headed back inside.
Somehow, the smell had managed to become even worse – I gagged when the wet, disgusting air hit my nose again. It was so strong I could nearly taste it, putrid on my tongue.
I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was always someone just behind me as I walked quickly through the tall aisles, but whenever I looked over my shoulder, there was never anything there.
I called his phone, wondering how I’d managed to lose him in such a small store when I finally heard it ringing – it was echoing from down that long hallway.
As I headed towards it, I heard someone moving on the other side of the floor-to-ceiling aisle, placing something onto the shelf with a sickening wet thud, before weaving lithely through the aisles behind me.
“Brian?” I called out softly, trying to convince myself that everything was fine – trying to disguise my fear.
I knew it wasn’t him – I don’t know how, but I knew it. Have you ever had the feeling that if you look closely enough at something, if you truly see it, you’ll never be able to close your eyes again without it haunting you? That feeling of being in close proximity to something that your fragile mind was never meant to know existed?
I forced myself to turn around anyways.
Once again, whoever or whatever had been there was gone by the time I rounded the aisle, but I heard a gentle clinking sound, and saw a trail of red-pink droplets.
I followed it back to that section – handcrafted from local artists, there was something new hanging from a hook near the shelves – wet, glistening strips dangled from along what looked to be a curved bone with bits of gristle still attached. From one of them hung an expensive men’s wristwatch, another was tied around a shattered, thick glasses lens. Yet another sagged under the weight of car keys. They gently swayed with the motion of having been recently placed. Fluid continued to drip from the still wet viscera and mingled with the mud on my shoes.
Shoplifters will be processed
I didn’t need to see the items down the other aisles to figure out what I was looking at, what must have happened.
I could already tell that we’d never have another argument, ever again.
I heard a door open and close in the back, soft footsteps approaching from down that hallway.
I realized that in my distraction, I'd forgotten to put money back on the counter.
I choked up, but knew there was nothing I could do for him. So, I tossed the first bills I found in my purse onto the floor, frantically untangled the car keys, and in shock, I drove myself the remaining four-hour drive home.
Every so often, along the quiet country roads – those I could've sworn were empty on the drive up – I’d see that grimy building, the sign, '-MART' flashing in the distance.
I didn’t stop once.
I've been home for a week now.
A few nights ago, something triggered a motion alert on my video doorbell, but there was no one there when I checked the footage.
The next morning, I found a cardboard box on my porch – with no stamp or return address.
In it was a torn t-shirt, and several of those now-familiar wrapped packages, putrid fluid leaking out of them through the bottom of the soggy cardboard.
I've received a similar box every night, since.
I don't know if it's meant as a threat, or if due to some sort of twisted interpretation – I’m now a 'paying customer’ – he's slowly being returned to me.
Either way, it turns out that I've gotten to see who Brian was on the inside, after all.
JFR

I'm struggling. My flair says reconciling, but it's on a low arc and approaching failure. Or maybe it's still false. I don't know.
Married 19 years, together for 25; two teenage children with severe emotional problems coming out of the pandemic.
D-Day was 16 months ago, the night before Thanksgiving. AP was literally an alcoholic unemployed late 40-something living in his mom's basement. They had met at a funeral she hadn't bothered to ask me to go because I wasn't leaving the bed in those days and I'd have said no. The night I discovered his clingy, mooning texts lamenting their inability to spend the holiday together, my life - already a terrible, depressive, lonely black hole of a mess and following the sudden, unnecessary death of a parent on Christmas Day - just imploded.
Upon confrontation after Thanksgiving dinner, the response was the worst in all ways possible. WW was high on limerence, and was fiercely unapologetic. She didn't want to separate but demanded an open marriage. She 'deserved to be happy', and felt good about her having told this unplanned encounter that went from EA to PA in 72 hours that she'd never leave me.
She had eschewed having intimacy for years before this. We had been poor to each other over the years, but I fell off a cliff after our kids faded from the world and my parent died. She was legit shocked and belligerent when I refused, and said that if you pursue this I will have to leave.
We made some temporary agreements (ones she did not keep), and started seeing a counselor. I started IC for the first time in my middle-aged life. We were however 'not aligned', as she'd say. She didnt want to give up her boyfriend, and I refused to stay if he was in the picture. I cringe to think back to how I said, 'you can maintain a friendship if you absolutely must but you must reinvest back into working on our relationship'.
This was a no-go for her for a while. She'd meet him. He'd sleep in her place of business. SHe lent him our car. (He crashed it while drunk, btw.) There was a moment when I had the kids in Puerto Rico, and she returned early for a funeral, and she went to the funeral with him and probably had sex after. Meanwhile I was stuck in an airport, trying to get home after a cancelled flight and just threw lots of money at the problem to curtail the time she had with him. She had in the three month relationship began introducing him to family friends, people who knew me.
With someone living a state away, she somehow managed to squeeze in more sex in 3 months than we'd had together in 10 years. In my mind, she was working on replacing me with AP but didn't want to separate for the sake of our kids.
Come January, she claimed to have decided to break things off. I didn't really believe her. I made a surprise visit to her place of business on a weekend, and found him there asleep on the couch with no pants on.
We had words, and despite being beside myself with rage and grief I was able to take his measure. In many ways, I wish I had met him right after D-Day. It was clear he was a narcissistic dumpster fire with pretensions of intellectuality. There were signs of some bipolar behavior. He made clear his intentions was to stay, and to convince WW to leave me. And he still had our car, and keys to her business site. (We live in a large city and don't need multiple vehicles, or even the one car if I'm honest.)
She realized where I was going due to my phone location and ran after me, but got there after I had 15 minutes with the joker. She asked him to leave, but still let him keep our car. She had no words, which has been a theme throughout our marriage. She can't easily access her feelings or articulate them, and she's afraid to express them for fear of my response. I told her after having met him, noted his instability and his intentions, i said I can no longer accept any contact between them. She reluctantly agreed.
From mid-January through to August followed a sequence of false representation of wanting to work on reconciliation and cycles of lying about not having contact. She was in love with him, she claimed, but seemed to go cold turkey overnight. She neither engaged with me nor took steps to reconcile, but claimed how difficult it was and that she was working on our relationship.
We quit the MC we started to see. We eventually found another several months later. We're still with the 2nd MC. In the meantime began a kind of surreal hellscape life for me, as she would say the barest of minimum things, and usually nothing at all about where she was, how she felt, and what was she willing to do to rebuild our relationship. She took no steps to reassure me, or show she wants me. She would say she did, but simultaneously be cold, distant, and - as i soon discovered - was still in contact with AP.
He gave her a burner phone. I found it within 2 days and threw the brand new phone into the river. Cheaters really need to not let unknown devices onto the home wifi networks of the technically literate. We had it out again, she promised to really try. A few weeks later I found unusual call patterns in our cell account. AP had provisioned a new phone number. Following that blow up was the WhatsApp phase, which really began to take the wind out of my sails.
She expressed no remorse. She was resentful of my 'intrusions into her privacy'. She genuinely thought it would be comforting to hear that the affair had nothing to do with me. She would be visibly annoyed when I asked for confirmations there had been no new contact - and even more so when in retrospect when there had been.
There were at least five discrete cycles of deception. AP escalated by getting five phone numbers and cycling through them. Towards the end, she had hid these numbers as secondary numbers of people they knew in common but didn't regularly have contact with. AP would write texts from the perspective of different personae.
Then there were the people who knew, and of those there were people who fully supported her behavior. There were people who aided and abetted it, lending her their apartments, or hoping she finds some comfort. One particularly egregious one, early on, tried to convince Amanda to really try to convince me to find someone else to be happy in an open arrangement. She's still in regular contact with this person.
The culmination of the PA/EA with the AP happened last summer. He eventually returned the car, but only after he had reclaimed it from the police impound lot. He did not pay for the repairs. Or his tolls when coming to and fro to fuck my WW. I did.
I had been fairly successful in identifying his phone numbers and having them blocked at the carrier level with some gaps in time, and diverting his email and voicemail. During ths period where all his means of contact were being closed soon after being opened, he was starting to rage and unstable. WW upon the latest confrontation (i was pretty calm and matter of fact about it) admitted she could not control her behavior, and didn't understand why she was doing it.
AP was a controlling person, with hints of WW's clinically narcissist parent. He wrote a letter and entered her business after hours to leave it. Because he wrote an email saying he was doing this, I ill-advisedly went there to call the police on him. I didn't find him, but I did find the letter. He knew I had been there - either he had been outside or he went back after I left - and complained bitterly about my interference.
His only means of influence had dropped to emails, and he just kept pounding with the short, imperative statements that described outcomes favorable to him. He had started to convince her that I was a threat to her, and trying to convince her I was a threat to our children (for whom I'd die in fire every day).
His tactical error was trying to play up his inability to contact her as a screen for concern. He tried to get the cops to perform a wellness check. He called WW's sister to convince her I was a threat, and that WW was in danger. (She told him off.)
Finally, he threatened to show up at our door with friends and 'free' her. I knew he owned a shotgun; while I didn't actually think he would show up (he had made smaller-scale threats of this kind before and I only realized they had happened days after his 'deadlines'.) I shared this new development with WW. We had agreed to handle it together. However, while I was out one day, she went to her sister's and called him to tell him she was fine but to never call or contact anyone in our family again. It was a muted, brief exchange. I was angry she hadn't stuck to our agreement.
Since then, he's only made a handful of contact attempts soon after the break that really were more for insulting me. I believe on an intellectual level they have had no contact since last summer. I emotionally continue to not feel safe about her intentions.
Since then, it's been difficult. There have been very limited conversation coming from her outside of the MC sessions, and those have trended light on her content. Very recently, she's expressed more. But it's still seemingly grounded in some unhealthy premises. Amongst them:

1. She at one pointed expressed she regretted the pain she caused, but doesn't regret the experience because (I kid you not) 'she learned so much about herself' and 'many positive elements have come out of it'. (I lost 50 pounds in the first three months post-Dday, and lately I've been hovering around 70. I did have it to lose, having used food to soothe myself over the decade of gaslighting and lack of explanation for her disengagement, and unwillingness to work on it.)
2. She continues to resent my intrusion into her phone call history. She disagrees with the oft-raised best practice of open-phone/account policies. Her feelings around her lack of privacy unsettle her, and get in the way of engaging (she says).
3. she doesn't see the value in 'forcing closeness'
4. she keeps wanting me to 'ratchet it down a notch', but it's not clear what she thinks that means
5. she finds my sadness and pain to be an impediment to rebuilding closeness
6. She claims to have read content about rebuilding marriages after infidelity, but to my knowledge she's done hardly anything to rebuild trust. I said it'd be better if you hadn't read it, because to think that you're walking around having read it but still don't do anything feels worse.
7. She has not taken lead in the reconciliation process, or really done much except endure my periodic/every-2-weeks or so expressions of disappointment and hurt and anger

I'm sure no one has read this far. This is my dilemma. What I'm trying to do here is leave no stone unturned in my efforts to save our marriage. I want to sleep well at night, and I won't be able to do that in a healthy way without going through this.
Yesterday wa the first time she said that he was responsible for destroying my world and my brain, several times over, with the elaborate deceptions (as I'm prone to describing it). I welcomed it and thanked her. But it was only precipitated by a conflict we were having about a mistake I made, where I rubbed her face in my phone snooping by adding unflattering profile pictures to the blocked contacts for the AP. (If they're not there, he could still call her and leave a voicemail when she's on wifi.)
She has had low to middling chronic health issues since April of last year, following her second round with COVID. And if it's not her, it's her parents. Or my surviving parent. Or my brother almost dying. Or the DOL is threatening to reclassify all her contractors as employees. (They should.) Everything just magically seemed to be prioritized over her talking to me.
It's literally, literally been something every other week. She's always tired, always in pain, and I really try hard to stay empathic about it. To hold a space for her. I have taken care of her when she's ill all throughout this horrible time. And she's really appreciative of how well I've supported and cared for her with no promise or signs of reciprocation.
But she still won't have sex with me, and wont talk to me about why she flinches sometimes when I touch her. Or worse, she fakes interest and then I find out otherwise later. Clearly, we have trauma to work through from before the affair. She's not intentionally being cruel. I've expressed remorse over what little she has hinted at, and want to make amends. I love her so much. It's always been my intent to die married to her, and hold our family together.
But it's getting harder to hold onto that empathy. I'm just so tired of feeling hurt, of not having my needs met, and feeling so deeply disrespected in this low-contrition (but maybe trending up) context we're living through.
She seems to evoke a sense in me that everytime I am hurt or express anger, her willingness or energy resets to near zero. Which in and of itself is newly infuriating!
My dilemma is that part of my tenacity in this ridiculous situation that saints would have left three times over already is tied to the idea that by sticking with it and not making it 'easier' for her I'm upholding my self-respect.
But am i? Am I just punishing her by saying I can't let go of my pain until she demonstrates remorse and effort? Being married, a husband and a father of simple small family is a big part of my identity.
It all went to shit a long time ago, but I never checked out. I just didn't understand what was happening, how a wife could treat their partner this way, and I didn't have the maturity or the emotional language to navigate it alone. So I grew resentful and depressed, and just low-level angry all the time. While she would just smile, and say nothing. In public, she'd be affectionate.
In private, it'd be back turned and motionless to my hunger for connection (and release). I turned inward. She, a very social, community-building gem of a human being, checked out and switched to Potemkin mode whenever anyone was looking. I felt like I was constantly being gaslit. Even when I tried to talk about our problems, she'd act as if I had said nothing at all. It was the damnest thing, and I had no words for it.
Maybe she's starting to see the light and be empathic to my pain. But, if that's what's happening, I'm just running out of steam and hope. Hope isn't necessary for me to stay the course, but motivation is beginning to lag.
Any advice?

It's time for our first look at life on Earth! I hope everyone has been enjoying the story so far. As always, let me know your thoughts on the story so far. It's been a joy sharing it with you all.
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Memory transcription subject: UN Secretary-General Elias Meier Date [standardized human time]: July 13, 2136
Sometimes I wondered what Earth would be like had the Skalgans not landed here hundreds of years ago. Every UN summit these days seemed to involve settling some kind of dispute involving them. Whether it be accusations of resource theft, threats in response to those accusations, or disputes over succession, there was always something to resolve. There was rarely any actual conflict that occurred nowadays, but security had been required to break up a few squabbles in the past, often ones involving delegates charging each other.
Despite how rowdy they could be, they were stalwart allies. That stubbornness made them dependable to follow through with their alliances. Whether it was war, work, or simply having a dependable friend, it was hard to go wrong with them. They proved themselves early on in the history of their arrival.
I reminded myself of that as I listened to the leader of the Garian nation petitioning other nations for aid in their efforts to assemble yet another space shipyard. I was certain we had more than enough, but the Garian leader wouldn’t have anything less than ‘overwhelming force against potential threats’. An aspect of Skalgan culture that carried on since their arrival was their concern over the calamity that had brought them to Earth appearing once more from the heavens. It’d created a divide among the people, from those that felt we should isolate ourselves from the wider galaxy, to those that felt we should either find allies or track down this great threat to eliminate it. The exploratory mission we’ve sent out has certainly riled up the xenophobes, who felt we needed to prepare a grand fleet if we were gonna announce ourselves to the galactic stage.
An aid came and tapped me on my shoulder, pulling me from my thoughts. “Sir.” She whispered. “I need you to come with me.”
If I was being called away, then it must have been an emergency. Nodding, I stood and followed here, my security detail trailing behind. We were only just walking up to the briefing room doors when I started hearing a very loud conversation. “-could be them! We need to start assembling ships immediately in case they-” I open the doors, interrupting whoever it was that was shouting. Scanning the room quickly, I saw that most of the people assembled were from several different space agencies, though there were also individuals from historical institutes and national militaries.
“Right, might I ask what has folks so riled up?” I asked.“The Odyssey crew made contact with extraterrestrials.” A short-haired woman in a leather jacket said, passing me a folder. I managed to catch her nametag, which read Dr. Kuemper, SETI. “They call themselves the Venlil, and going by appearances alone, seem to be related to the Skalgan. Not only that, but they’re a part of a Federation of hundreds of other species. Certainly more than we ever theorized.”
This news came as a shock. I flipped through the various pages and photos in the folder, taking in everything that's been gathered so far. There was a photo of one of the Skalgan astronauts next to a Venlil. Side by side, it was easy to see how one could assume they shared a similar lineage, despite some of their physical differences. If these were truly aliens related to the Skalgan, then their kind has survived the attack on their homeworld or at least escaped to a separate planet.
We’ve known that life existed at some point beyond our star system, but that was only known through the existence of the Skalgan. Even then, the nature of their origin took generations to fully understand. They crashed on earth during an age where we were still using muskets, a time when we didn’t even have a concept of electricity. They may have brought a technological boost with them, but without the means to reproduce or maintain it, much had deteriorated away, and that included the electronic data their ship carried. For all we knew, the Skalgan and their attackers were the only other life in the galaxy. They may have even gone extinct in the time it took us to achieve FTL flight.
“So we might have ourselves the Skalgan home planet and their long lost cousins. I hope that the presence of so many generals in this meeting isn’t a suggestion to invade.” I looked over all the individuals in military attire that were present.
Dr. Kuemper frowned. “The issue isn’t with the Venlil. It’s the Federation and their enemies. It’s a complicated mess. To start, the Federation is made up entirely of herbivores who are extremely xenophobic towards any meat consuming species.”
I look back down at the folder, leafing to a page about the Venlil society. It only took me a moment to spot the bold letters highlighting the fear and distrust they have towards, as they label them, predatory species. “Well, we must have done something right if we got far enough to exchange knowledge.”
“You can thank us for being there.” One of the Skalgan in the room spoke up, a general by the name of Ledric from the nation Rerig that sat on the western coast of North America. “The fact that we had a Skalgan among the crew made it easier for the Venlil to accept the human. They may have just shot the ship down had astronaut Noah not been there, or taken them prisoner, or done all sorts of horrible things!”
“I think it would be best if we did not worry about the what-ifs and instead think about the now.” I said, finally taking a seat at the table. “So the Skalgan look-alikes have a fear of meat eaters. Does this extend to the rest of their federation?”
“I’m afraid so.” The doctor said. “It seems like it’s actually a founding pillar of the Federation’s doctrine. The Arxur, the enemies of the federation, have been on a campaign of terror against them for several centuries. They’re responsible for the destruction of at least 62 planets and billions of lives.”
“Jesus Christ, please tell me you’re kidding.”
“I wish, sir. There’s a full brief on the page labeled ‘Arxur’ in your file. There’s also footage of them committing every war crime in the book. I mean, they literally eat children.”
“Well shit.” I sighed, barely having a moment to think before the Rerig general Ledric spoke up again. “These monsters eat sentient beings and keep people as livestock! They have to be the ones responsible for the original attack on our homeworld. It makes sense that the ‘wrath of the galaxy’ told in Skalgan mythos refers to them.”
“Can we be certain?” I asked Ledric. “I don’t doubt that this species is monstrous in nature, but I don’t know if any of the original records from the ships you arrived in have survived to this day to confirm that.”
“You’re right about that.” Another Skalgan spoke up, a historian from Rerig. “Surviving records are little more than fragments at best. Even electronic records can’t survive the decay that hundreds of years of time would bring. Without the proper understanding of how to properly preserve digital records, they broke down into little more than scrap metal over the centuries. We have no idea who those ships originally belonged to, where they came from, or how my people got ahold of them. Hell, we don’t even know if it was one or multiple species responsible for the attack on Skalga.”
I lightly nodded, thinking about the possible explanations. “What about the Federation? How do they play into this?”
“According to the records the Venlil provided, they had only just made initial contact with the Federation around the time the Skalgan landed on Earth.” Dr. Kuemper said. “It's a bit difficult to line up our timelines without exact dates. At best we can estimate by about a decade or so. It’s possible that the Skalgan acquired ships from the Federation. There’s also the possibility that the ships were Arxur cattle vessels that they managed to commandeer. There is also the possibility of an unknown group being involved, but so far there’s no evidence of that.”
There were a lot of hypotheticals being given, but no solid narrative so far. “I’d rather not make any major decisions till we know for certain what we’re dealing with. There’s also the matter of these physical differences between the Skalgan and Venlil, and the matter of the Federation's potential hostility to us humans. Are they aware of us?”
“Not yet.” Dr. Kuemper said. “Only the Venlil know of humans. The Federation only knows of the Skalgan for now.”
“Right… Well if they’re as hostile towards meat eaters as this report leads us to believe, we’re gonna have to figure out a way to break the news to them gently.”
“Why should we bother?” Ledric asked. “If the Federation was there when Skalga was attacked yet did nothing, why should we even try being friendly? Do they fear the Arxur so much that they wouldn’t intervene?”
“We shouldn’t be making assumptions like that.” I said. “We don’t know what happened all those centuries ago, and the last thing we want is to go accusing people of wrongdoings that they didn’t commit. I’d rather we make allies than enemies. And speaking of such matters, I believe the Venlil will be a good place to start. Their governor was willing to risk her position to keep us hidden. She and her people may be able to speak on our behalf, and their potential ties to Skalgan may further secure their trust. Not to mention that our best chance of learning about the origin of the Skalgan race would be in cooperation with them.”
“What of the Arxur?” Ledric spoke once more. “They’re clearly a threat to both their Federation and us. We should strike some of these livestock worlds as a show of our allegiance with the Venlil. That would also show this Federation that humans are an ally.”
I grimaced. We'd only just discovered life beyond our system and already we were talking war. Announcing a potential war with extraterrestrials would cause the divide between those for and against alien contact to widen even further. However, we couldn’t share the potential discovery of the Skalgan’s ancestors without including the threat that not just the Arxur posed, but the danger humans would be in if we made a mistake with introducing ourselves to the Federation. This whole situation was a minefield, and we were having to carefully pick our way through it.
“Lets start by releasing the findings and then judge our next course of action based on the public’s feedback. We need to be united on whatever decision we make, as this will affect all of us, both Humans and Skalgans. If the people just want to make allies, that’s what we’ll do. But if they want us to show we’re willing to fight for the Venlil and the Federation, then we’ll fight.”
An outside threat and long lost family would be powerful motivators to bring people together. I was fairly certain I knew already what the Skalgan’s position on this would be, but they weren’t on the potential firing line for their biology.
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Posting to help myself process the climb and provide thoughts for others thinking about Denali unguided on minimal experience. Open to thoughts and critique from people who know what they're doing. I'm obliged to thank all those who provided their thoughts and guidance to me on this subreddit a year ago. Also, to the guidance from Steve House and the other guy in their YouTube Denali video.
TLDR: Did not summit, learned lots.
It was a great idea... We trained pretty hard in the flatlands... We bought lots of good gear... and some not so good..... We were optimistic.....And realistic, we thought....
But... man, oh man. Denali is BIG, Alaska is BIG. And Talkeetna felt very small after 24 hours.
First alert was assembling our food. We drop shipped almost all the food to our hotel in Anchorage. We got in about 9pm, got everything from the desk and walked over to Wal Mart for the rest. Started packing food into daily rations about 10pm. We thought that would take 30 minutes. Try close to four hours, confusion, second guessing ourselves and each other on quantities, days, recipes. Got to sleep much later than we thought. We both worried that we'd be tired, maybe too tired for when we were dropped off on the glacier the next afternoon. HAH!!
Met Gary the shuttle driver the next morning. Watch some other TRs on YouTube and you'll get to know Gary, friendly, outgoing with good info about Talkeetna. We arrive on time, go through check in and somehow we got bumped out of our Ranger meeting. Come back later and we'll still have time to get to our flight. Did I mention it's overcast with light rain? Go through the ranger meeting, head over to TAT to find that we're 76th and 77th on the waitlist with. "Come back tomorrow at 8am for an update." Two guys we met on the shuttle actually make the plane that day because they understood the process with TAT and were all set to go after the Ranger meeting. Guy at TAT checks us in and takes our $$. No other info is offered or asked for. We're aware we need sleds and wands but we guess they just go on the plane with us.
We find the TAT climbing hostel and are grateful to find two bunks in the same room. My buddy is, not germophobic, but he is right up to that line. We eat at a restaurant that night, figuring, hey, 7 climbers per flight, 11 flights, mid afternoon tomorrow right? We check in at TAT at 8am, they're making waffles and have actually great coffee. But they have no idea if there'll be any flights today. Wander back and forth from the hostel, through town to the airfield. This is day 2 of 16 days we've given ourselves to go up. At day 16, no matter where we are, we go down.
Day 3, repeat day 2 but now we're using the hostel kitchen. I'm cool with the level of hygiene because this is only a level or two beyond how I grew up, when things got chaotic. I'm impressed with my buddy's fortitude, and grateful because I don't want to pay for food when it's already been bought. We hear good news that afternoon about the weather. Buddy suggests we get an AirBnB for this night to get a good nights sleep and clean shower before we likely fly out the next day.
Day 4, the weather starts to clear and now there's real activity at the airfield. My buddy, who doesn't sit still well, joins a group of workers at the airfield digging a trench. I sit on the deck, breathing deeply and hoping we can get out today. Then we get word we're up soon. Then I ask, hey what about sleds and wands? Find out climbers should get this arranged right after check in and we scramble around getting this set up. I grab a sled without looking it over well. As we and our gear are being driven over, I see this sled has some serious cracks and swap for a better one 10 minutes before we fly out.
The flight up is amazing. The transition on the glacier is hectic, a short controversy about which mountain can belongs to who and we get off the landing strip quick. We find a spot to set our tent a fair ways up the hill and get to work melting water for dinner and the next day. Take my skis out in order to prep for tomorrow and find the front straps of my skins have torn and are irreparable. I walk around camp, find a guy who's leaving who sells me his skins for $50. Can't believe how lucky I am. I walk around and get pictures, bury, wand and gps tag our cache. I'm blown away, I'm alive in a way I've only experienced a few other times in my life. I'm excited to get going in the wee hours of day 5. Plenty of days left, right?
Get up and going on time. Feels so good to be hauling the sled, carrying the pack. Going down is helpful. Going on flat and climbing isn't bad. I am working harder than my buddy(MB) from here on. He's 20 years younger and places top 5 in regional ultras, I'm a caboose guy at these. Anyhow, I feel like I'm holding him up, like he's disappointed in our pace. We arrive at 8K camp 8 hours later. MB points out that successful groups do this in 6hrs. I'm reply I'm working at a pace that I believe gets me to 14K in good shape, and what else did you want to do today? Ends fine, we each accept where the other one's at. Set up camp, Denali Pizza (simple and awesome) for dinner. Melt water, pull out the gear, food we'll cache at about 9.5K tomorrow. Good day, amazing as clouds lift a bit and we see more terrain.
Day 6, realize we're not eating 2 bagels each per day. We've over planned with bagels and several other foods. Too much weight but unsure about how to move things around. Lighter packs, lighter sleds and the first real climb. We do good work, talk a bit to teams coming down, most not having summitted. Bury, wand and GPS tag our cache. Tie empty sleds to our packs and head down. When we get to the real down hill, it's trashy, flat light, and I'll own this: I was rattled being off balance with a bit more weight and bulk going down. Got in my head and took some time to descend. MB frustrated or just me in my head? Got back down, did camp work, napped, ate dinner.
Day 7, push up to 11K. Snow picking up and visibility still good. I'm slower than MB again, and even though this is a fact we're both well aware of since we talked about Denali 3 years ago, it's in my head and won't leave that I'm holding us back. We start up the first real climb into 11 camp. Wind blown snow is making wands hard to see, we're using his Garmin to verify the route. The skins I bought at the airfield don't cover the width of my skis at the tips and tails. As we're taking an aggressive elevation gain on switchbacks, I'm slipping more and more with less skin to snow contact. We crest the rise and hike through the camp to find a spot at the uphill end. We begin setting up camp. I mention looking forward to having a kitchen tent now that we'll be in the same place for 3 days. MB basically says, go ahead but I don't think we need that and I won't be part of digging it out or setting it up. I get started probing an area, setting the outline of the dig and then realize this will take me hours and give up. Dinner, melt water, discuss tomorrow's back hauling. I propose we boot down from 11 camp and put skis on at the base of the climb and MB seems okay with it.
Day 8, wake up to heavy snow. Dig out our enclosure and have breakfast. Put more food we didn't eat into the "carry forward bag" which is getting heavier by the meal. Dig out again, and again, and again. Mid-afternoon we start getting weather reports through garmin in-reach texts with a guy back home and from other teams and guides. Consensus in 6 more days of this but up to 48" per day. I run the math: 8+6=14. Hmmm: 16-14=2. Then I run the flights per day math and number of teams we've seen descending, number of teams likely to descend with this forecast. My math says we could be stuck here 6 days and at the airfield for that or more. All for 2 more possible days of ascent. MB disagrees and wants to wait it out. We walk through various scenarios and I hold firm. MB agrees we'll go down because we both agreed if one wanted to go down for any reason, that was that. MB is a guy who holds to his word in this and all aspects of life.
We pack up. Fast...and sloppy. We want to fly out tomorrow. I'm not excited anymore, I'm anxious and want off Denali. Not be in a tent for two weeks in snow. We boot down the hill below 11 camp, put on skis and find our cache at 9.5, combine stuff. I get my stuff packed well. We start down. The track is blown in and we are navigating entirely by Garmin, using the standard route. Not reversing our climb up, which followed the visible track and wands. Are we actually on safe snow? We're both thinking that question but not saying it out loud. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I'm in front setting the track so MB's sled has something to ride in. If he's in front, his sled tips over. He's calling directions to me for the route, "Left...more left...rightish... too far."
We head down the last hill into 8 camp. I allow my sled to be in front of me and steer it like reins on a horse. Snow plow, keep it slow and things are moving along fine for me. MB wipes out over and over. Repacks his sled and gets down the last 200 yards well. We ski right through 8 camp. Someone asks if we're headed down and then says that if we call in to the airfield from there, we're already in line. True or not, we're finishing this in one push. Visibility is still about 15 feet but now we have a track to follow. We're both cautious with the downs. Don't know if we need to let it rip to go up again or if there's a corner we need to be slow for. We get to the airfield in 9.5 hours. Dig up our cache and consolidate our gear.
MB decides he'd rather not cowboy camp with the fly and we set up the tent and go to sleep. Up at the appointed hour and get in the flight queue. The guy says he'll give us plenty of notice so we can take down our tent, IF we fly out today. I am now watching every cloud for signs of building or diminishing. A few planes fly in, circle and leave. We're napping on and off.
Then I hear the guy yelling, "that's your plane". It's being loaded. We're 200 yards away in our fully set up tent, pads and bags. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK. I go down and ask "what happened?" "I don't know, two guys snaked your flight." Talk a bit more about other stuff, what he's been reading, we're into some similar literature. He then guarantees we'll be on the next flight that comes in, whether today or tomorrow. I'm listening for airplanes full on now, just want to get down and be off the mountain.
We do get on a flight that day, get a hotel and move flights and shuttle to fly out of Anchorage tomorrow. I walk down by the river and call my wife. "Honey, this will sound weird, I need you to tell me I'm really off the mountain and not dreaming." This helps a lot.
We make all our connections and fly out, get back home the next day. If you got this far, thanks, I guess. It's cathartic to write all this down. I replay this trip or parts of it every couple weeks even now. MB and I did our repair work and still call, text, hang out, run together when I'm in town. I do not regret going one bit, yet not getting further up still hits me hard. My fears and reaction to niggling discomforts on the mountain tell me I'm weak.
If I did it again:

1. No skis on Denali for me. I'm a competent skier and can get down serious stuff out west without embarrassing myself. A pack and a sled skiing down through crud with low visibility? Snow shoes all...the...way.
   
2. 4 people, not two. Enough guys to set up a kitchen tent, split camp duties into smaller tasks. I need a place to spread out, talk, cook and eat in a comfortable position.
   

2A. Allow way more time, a month total.

1. Better conversations about pace and relative speed well before the trip.
   
2. We did ropes work, simulated crevasse rescue, camped out in -10F. More time winter camping and skinning in the woods together.
   
3. MB and I climbed Mt Adams. We summitted Rainier together unguided in 8/2022. Took a 3 day custom guided mountaineering class in 12/2021 to learn skills. Didn't go above 7K in the class. Handled our shit well for two days. Not enough time to really know what we're in for physically and work through team frictions about pace, leisure time, camp life. Maybe we could have climbed Rainier and Baker on the same trip? Maybe spend several days at Camp Muir and summit twice? Climb Rainier early season?
   
4. Guided if I try again? Maybe.
   

I read this back and the inner critic says, "I'm a whiny bitch", just like when I am thinking about it every couple weeks. If I go back it can't be about that, not trying to prove that voice wrong. If I go back...it'll be because of that alive feeling I got on the airfield glacier, to have it again, to avail myself of a second chance to live a dream.
Thanks for reading all this. Part confessional, part TR.
I feel better.

Hello all! I’m a big Charlotte Dobre fan, and a long time lurker in the community. It took some time for me to work up the courage to post this story, but I feel as thought I am finally ready to share.
So a bit of background. I had this friend group of a few women throughout my high school and college years and into my adult life. They were all like sisters to me and we got along well. Most of these friends I made in high school, such as Kate and Mary, two of the friends this story involves, but one, whose shall call Lauren, which this story now revolves around, I had had since kindergarten. We were the quintessential childhood friends. I was even her maid of honor in her wedding; we were that close. However, this story does not involve her wedding which was by and large lovely. This story takes place a few years after the fact.
Now, I know I am a people pleaser. Because of my nature, I look for the best in people almost to a fault. As such, I was bullied more than once growing up and while I stood up for myself when it was blatant, sometimes I wasn’t able to do so when it was the more insidious, backstabbing sort of bullying. I have also been bad with social cues my whole life (ADHD can do that) so I was often blindsided by backstabbing since I never even knew I had angered the person in question. Because of this, I used to encourage people to be brutally honest with me, and perhaps therein lies some fault of my own. In any case though, looking back, I realize now that while things hadn’t always been bad, at some point, my friends, specifically Lauren had stopped treating right. They were always sarcastic people and even proud of this fact, but sarcasm and being downright mean have a veeeeeery thin line between them. I cannot recount everything they said or did, but I can recount some. They yelled at me for silly jokes (I made a TAZ joke during a DND session Lauren was running and she about ripped my throat out), they would often ignore or give me silent treatments, and I was gaslit in the regular by Mary, especially.
I often left our hangouts feeling not so great about myself and eventually tried to bring up my hurt feelings a couple times. It did not go well, resulting in fights and threats to the friendship that would only calm when I apologized.
I should also take time to state that this group, specifically Lauren and an extended group of her friends that I was becoming acquainted with, would often find someone who did something “problematic” and would unceremoniously ostracize and cut them off, dubbing them as “toxic.” However, when this started I was so deep in, I didn’t question it, assuming I didn’t know the full situation. I, in passing, would worry it might happen to me eventually, but pushed away that fear, believing I was a good person and so were they, so that wouldnt come to pass. How wrong I was.
Anyways, to the day in question. I went into our shared Discord group, just to browse and chat since I had some extra time on my hands. Now, I want to preface this with the fact I am not a religious person, but I am spiritual, and I identify as a Christian in large part. I noticed that day, they put up a meme in the group chat insulting Christianity directly. I did not find it funny, but I kept my cool and messaged Kate, who originally posted it, that I was a Christian, and while she did not mean anything by it, I was sure, I wanted her to please take it down. Instead of apologizing, acquiescing, or anything like that, she mercilessly ripped into me, back up by all the others, except Lauren, who was offline the time. I immediately felt bad for rocking the boat, but luckily, my dear sister Mags was there and helped me stand my ground, checking my messages before I sent them, so as to make sure they were coherent and not too emotional (she did this with my blessing, just so everyone is aware).
After a while of Mary gaslighting me and Kate just being straight up mean, Kate comes out with “I can’t worry about what offends you. That’s not my problem.” I in turn tell her she is echoing the sentiments of the alt right, which in turn makes her demand an apology for calling her a N**i or she’ll block me. I never used that word, but I hold my ground and say “I can’t worry about what offends you. That’s not my problem.” Then summarily block her.
By now, I’m in tears, like uncontrollably sobbing. My sister comforts me and eventually I calm, though I am still horribly depressed. The drama has not yet abated though, for soon I realize that Lauren has deleted me from the DND group chat I shared with her, Kate and a few others. I message her right away and she states that I was mean to Kate and she thought it best that I was kicked out of the group. I ask her if this is her way of cutting ties with me and she says unless I apologize, then yes. I refuse to apologize and though I am horribly sad, we bid each other goodbye and I believed amicably part ways.
Cut to a couple days later. I noticed that on Facebook, mutual friends of Lauren’s and mine are unfreezing and even blocking me. I have no problem dea what is happening, but put two and two together and realize that Lauren must be talking s**t. I message a mutual friend and she confirms, saying she doesn’t want to associate with someone who could do that to Lauren. I have no idea what “that” is or how Lauren was even hurt by me since she had wanted to part ways, we did so supposedly amiably, and she hadn’t even been PRESENT during the initial argument. I am horrified and here’s where I might be the ahole. I went into panic mode and message every mutual friend of outlet, telling them not to believe her in an attempt to salvage these “friendships.” Instead of support, an onslaught of hatred and vile messages invaded my inbox, telling me just terrible things. I won’t recount them here, but I was bawling by the end and had to leave work early that day since I was in such a terrible mental state. Needless to say, I unfriended all and block most of our mutual friends-turned-flying monkeys.
That was largely the end of it. A few more messages passed between Lauren and me, consisting of me both apologizing for the knee jerk message, but also damning her. She called me abusive and said I was an awful friend. I eventually blocked her number.
It’s been a couple years but I am still hurting from this incident. I am on the mend, thanks to therapy, my remaining friends and loving family. I work everyday to leave it behind me, but I still have to wonder.. Am I the ahole?

First time posting anything in Reddit. Seemed like as good a time as any as I'm really struggling with how to deal with a devastating situation with my mom! This is a long one but I need to get it out there. I'm heartbroken and out of options, as is my whole family.
In the middle of the night after Easter Sunday, I got a call at 3am in the morning from mom telling me that my dad "finally did it - he tried to kill me." She was in the hospital and physically speaking, unharmed. She told me my dad was arrested and in the psych ward and that she needed to go as the doctors were checking up on her. Thankfully by the time I got off the phone, my dad had responded to a text I'd sent him saying what in the world is going on, saying that he had to call 911 on her; he was at home and safe by that point.
He'd woken up at 2am their time and had noticed she had left the house in her car. After a quick review of her iPhone location, he noticed she was at a house they had rented a number of years earlier. He drove over and could see her sitting on the couch, apparently alone. He tried tapping on the window thinking perhaps she was confused and didn't know where she was and had wandered in. She saw him but then looked away and moved to another room. Finally, he realized he needed to knock on the door. He knew the couple that lived there casually and explained she'd been struggling recently. The husband told him he didn't know what to think at first when she said he had tried to kill her, but quickly realized something wasn't right. He had already called 911. My dad also called 911 because she wouldn't leave with him and he didn't know what else to do.
When the police arrived, they quickly realized something was very wrong with my mom and that my dad didn't pose any threat to her (she admitted right away that he was sleeping when she left). She was moved to the hospital and my dad went home. At the hospital, they found her to be extremely manic - paranoid, delusional, hyperverbal. They (meaning multiple psychiatrists after examination and discussion with me and my dad) put her on an involuntary 72 hold under the state's emergency hold act for someone who was a danger to themselves or others (she was deemed to be a danger to herself because she had no insight into her situation and couldn't take care of herself).
After the 72 hours, they decided they needed to continue to hold her as she was still paranoid and delusional, as well as exhibiting signs of dementia. Once we were finally able to talk to a couple doctors live and get some very preliminary indications that she was suffering from progressive dementia and some form of delirium/psychosis, I was able to join my dad to try and figure out next steps. It became clear over the course of the next 10-11 days, that we were going to have to move her into memory care, so that's what we did. Signed a contract with as nice a place as we could find, hired a concierge psychiatrist billed as one of the best in the state, hired an elder care attorney and also an advocate to help my dad navigate the situation.
We received word (after following up day after day with very little communication) that she would be released from the psychiatric ward mid-week and arranged for her to be taken directly to the memory card facility based on doctor's advice. Despite a hiccup where she talked the driver into bringing her home first, where I luckily just happened to be eating lunch, we got her checked into the facility (I told her it was either back to the psych ward or to the facility and she happy complied). Problem was - she didn't realize it was memory care and it only took about four hours before the phone calls started about how awful the place was, how she had to get out, the place wasn't safe, I was a bad son, my dad was evil, etc. etc.
As an aside, up to this point, we thought we had done just about everything by the book. Ironically, it was my mom who insisted some number of years ago that she and my dad should get long term care insurance in addition to executing both health care representative POAs and financial POAs. After talking with the elder law attorney, we felt we had 99% of what was needed to at least take some of the strain out of the situation. He did say that if the proverbial shit hit the fan, the POAs might not be enough and that we'd need full legal guardianship, but he felt pretty good that we could do what the doctors were advising us to do and get her into a structured facility, at least for the time and try to get her stable. If we could get her 30 days of very structured care, the doctor told us that there's always a chance she could respond well. ("Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst" in his words.)
And that's where things fell apart. Even though the psychiatrist/MD realized very quickly that she was suffering from some form of moderate to severe dementia, my mom is very high functioning and began plotting almost immediately to get out of the facility despite our insistence that she needed the 24/7 care at least for the time being. She was calling everyone she knew - friends, other family, other doctors etc., insisting that she was fine; it was my dad who needed help, and that she needed out right away.
The above had become a familiar refrain over the last 12-18 months. It started innocently enough when my mom had made a comment that she was a little afraid of my dad because he'd gotten angry one evening. I took it very seriously and asked her to take me through what had happened. Apparently they'd gotten into a minor argument at one point over something trivial. My mom kept needling him on the issue and he eventually pounded his fist on the table (completely out of character for him) and it had rattled her. I explained to my mom that I took this seriously and I'd talk with him to make sure everything was ok. I did confront him and he was honest - said he lost his temper but that mom was just on him 24/7 about things that were either minor or simply not true. She claimed he played golf every day when in reality he played maybe 2-3 times a month (he's retired so I'm not sure what would be wrong with playing everyday but I guess that's besides the point). She would get pissed at him for being gone for too long but she'd also get pissed for him not going out and finding things today. There was a lot of this.
From that point, things got worse - she had a surgery in September of last year where she underwent general anesthesia and that really seemed to light a fire under the symptoms. She began to withdraw even further from social activities. She wasn't sleeping much at night; hardly eating. The accusations against my dad got bigger and bolder (he had a girlfriend that was 40 years younger than him; he'd bought a boat among them). None of these things were true. My brother went to stay with my folks for a few months - he wanted to spend time with them in any event, but we also thought it would be good for him to see the dynamic up close. Maybe our dad was doing some things he shouldn't? Maybe he needed to adjust his behavior? Well, after three months, my brother could tell something was seriously wrong with my mom. She was not herself and things were getting worse.
Three days before the Easter Sunday where it all went south, my mom was supposed to come up to where my wife and I live and go into assisted living for 30-60 days. She wanted to do it and we were excited because we thought it would give us a chance to have some objective views from the staff on what might be going on. We thought dementia was a real possibility because her own primary care doctor had suggested for at least 12 months that she get tested but she'd canceled no less than three appointments (the last two literally as they were getting in the car). For reasons that still aren't entirely clear, she canceled at the last minute. Even though my wife and I had made the arrangements and had everything essentially ready to go, my mom insisted on trying to plan with the facility as well and some wires got crossed on trivial things. It seems those things caused her to be suspicious and start to believe we were "trying to put her away." Again though, this was her idea.
It was the period between the cancellation and Easter Sunday that things just spiraled. My wife and I, among others, were getting texts and phone calls in the middle of the night, all night during those three to four days. They were increasingly paranoid and unhinged, linking my dad to the husband of a family friend who'd committed suicide. Saying he was a narcissist, just like my dad. Many things that simply were not at all in line with the character of my dad (and not just according to me but everyone who ever knew him and knew him well). When she began to bring up the fact that she thought the friend's husband had killed her, I knew things were bad. I suggested my dad get out of the house and give her some space. I was worried about both of them. She's tiny but you never know. I also didn't want my dad arrested or put into a situation where the stress can be overwhelming - he's got a bard heart. So he did leave the day before Easter, even though he totally discounted my concern.
The reason he came back on Easter Sunday was because she asked him to. She wanted to celebrate and see the dog. By all accounts, they had a nice evening and even watched a movie together before he went to bed. And then she decided to get in her car, drive 80 miles to a house they used to live in and tell the shocked couple that my dad was trying to kill her!
So, she's in the memory care facility after her release from the psychiatric hold and as excruciatingly difficult as it was to put here there, we felt it was necessary, at least until the paranoia subsided. I stayed for three days and visited her each day. She'd fluctuate between telling me I was an awful son, rehashing all the "documentation" she had on how horrible the doctors and my dad are, and then saying how she didn't want to ruin the family and we could all work it out. My brother stayed for another few days after I left and then had to get back home. He received similar treatment. We mistakenly thought we had things under control until she decided to write a very thoughtfully crafted letter stating explicitly that she requested release from the facility, nothing that she was "of sound mind and body."
The doctor, the facility and our attorney explained that they could no longer keep her there. We understood the limits of the POA, but this was hard to fathom. We had mounds of doctor's evidence from the psychiatric ward and the new doctor pointing to not only advanced dementia, but also stating that she was unable to care for herself and needed round the clock supervision from someone other than my dad. It wasn't enough. We needed a new plan. The doctor was clear that my dad couldn't stay with her and take care of her, so I looked into 24/7 hour nursing. I had no idea how much it cost and when I realized that $28k or so a month would be needed, we realized there no way we could cover this for any significant period of time, even with a portion offset by long term care.
We were lucky enough to have a family member that was a former nurse who was willing to come down for a time to stay with my mom. The good news was by this point, my mom did hear one thing from her doctor - that she needed "24/7 care," so we explained that we'd get her home on two conditions - (1) we had to wait till the family friend could get into town; and (2) she needed to do the doctor recommended cognitive evaluation with a neuropsychologist. She agreed to both.
The day after she did her neuro exam, she went home with our family member and has been home now for over a week. My dad has been couch surfing, trying to keep it together. It took a week but we received the neuro results and they confirmed what we thought we already knew but were nonetheless still devastating - severe vascular dementia. This, combined with an MRI they had done in the psychiatric ward, were enough for the doctors to recommend we pursue guardianship because she doesn't have capacity and can't make any of her own decisions, which we're doing now on an expedited basis. In the meantime, my mom has been up and down at home, and my dad has ridden the waves with her. He'll think she's turning a corner with a nice text or two to him but it will turn out she just wants help with her phone and if he spends a bit of time with her, she'll eventually turn on him - back to the same accusations. She's also taken some of his things and thrown them out near the trash, including his pacemaker monitor.
A couple days back, the neuro doctor walked my mom through her report and despite all the evidence to the contrary, my mom told me the report was "GREAT" (she noted she doesn't have Alzheimer's, which it seems is true, but vascular is no better from what I can tell; and perhaps worse in ways!). Given she was able to sit with the doctor and hear the results firsthand, I thought I could explain to her the severity of what was going on and why we needed to get her the care she needs but she just won't hear it. She thinks the doctors have told her she can either go into Assisted Living or get 24/7 care - that's not true at all. I've tried to explain that those two things are mutually exclusive, but again, she's not having it. She wants no part of memory care and believe me, if there was any way we could do this without having to put her into memory care, at least for some period of time, my whole family would be all for it. We don't see any alternative at this point.
The horrible thing is that if she won't go voluntarily, I think our only option is to call 911 and have her taken in once the guardianship has gone through. This breaks all of our hearts. I don't think my dad can do it. I don't know if I can do it but I know I may have to do it. My only solace is that our family member with her now says her quality at life at home right now is not good. She is either shuffling around the house "organizing" at all hours of the day and night, or on her phone (we believe making notes to herself that we're not sure she even saves). We all believe that in a facility over time, she may begin to socialize better and given how high functioning she is, even find some purpose and meaning in helping folks out who are suffering differently than she is. She's always been generous with her time and service-oriented (until this disease started to take all of that away a couple years back now that we realize what it was). We also think she'd benefit from excursions with us and others out of the facility for meals/events etc. if we can get her more stable.
I've read some incredible stories in these threads but wanted to share ours in the case it could help someone who might be going through the same things but also to see if there's anything we're missing? We feel we've explored every feasible option and our hands are tied at this point. I'm sick to my stomach all day long worrying about this and wake up almost every night trying to decide what to do. It's taken over all our lives. I welcome any feedback.
(*Note that I haven't given a ton of detail on the behavioral issues but suffice it to say that there's no possibility that my dad could look after her, at least right now. It's not safe for either her or him for the same reasons it wasn't that Easter Day. I also worry about any other caregiver as each person who has tried to help has become the subject of her ire and if they don't bend to her every request - take her to superfluous dr appts, hair appts, the phone store to check her phone which she never thinks is working properly, etc. - they will have hell to pay for some period of time.)

My mom started dating this guy officially ending of October; I (17F) met him in November at her bday party, he seemed fine, and she was happy everything was okay. In November, we were asked to leave the house we were living at, so we moved; however, my mom decided to move relatively far ( where he is from). She claimed it wasn’t because of him and that she just got a good deal on a good house. The house is really nice, but you’re telling me you couldn’t find anything closer? Anyway, he ended up moving in with us the first week of January ( we moved in end of December). Everything was fine, he was funny. I liked him, and so did my brother (14M). I thought it was a little too soon, but I moved on. The only thing that bothered me was that he constantly is asking me about my love life, him and my mom because my brother is dating around and I am not. So that made me kinda annoyed at them because stop bringing this up. They both have also made small comments on my weight, I don’t like it when my mom does it so him doing it is like wtf. He has said this like “ you gotta hit the gym to find a boyfriend” ( I am literally average weight) In March, they were suddenly engaged which was a shock ( as they had only known each other for 5 months). I tried not to think of it because if my mom was happy, I was happy. But I was still uncomfortable. idk why because he has never done anything to me. The wedding happened on Saturday it was amazing, his family had flown in from his native country, and everything was fine. For a little bit of context for this next part, My mom had 2 sisters, Kylie (28) and gabriella (18) ( fake names, btw). They were both bridesmaids. Kylie went with her longterm boyfriend, and Gabriella went with my mom’s fiances friend Marco. On the wedding night, my mom was giving speeches and calling people up to give a piece of cake; first, she called me and my brother, then she called her fiance’s mom and dad, and then she called my grandma and my aunt Kylie but not Gabriella, I looked over at her, and she was shocked that she wasn’t called. After this, Gabriella came up to me complaining, saying that she went up to my mom and said, “Why didn’t you call me up?” she said it was because Gabriella made Marco leave” Obviously, I am confused, so I asked Gabriella what happened and she said that she was dancing and he grabbed her arm and said come here, she doesn’t like physical contact in general so she said that having this guy ( who had made it clear in the past that he wanted to get with her) touch her, she obviously was spoked and said no then left. Apparently, this bruised his ego, and he left; I assume he told my mom’s fiance, and then my mom’s fiance told my mom. This morning I woke up to my mom’s finance absolutely shitting on my mom’s family, saying he hated my mom’s sister’s that they were snobs and inconsiderate and full of themselves; I’m in shock. Later in the day, my mom approached me and said, “ Kylie and Gabriella were so mean to my husband’s family at the wedding. They were being rude, and they are so full of themselves.” I am confused because they wouldn’t do that, Gabriella is extremely shy and wasn’t even near them. I go into my room and leave the conversation. An hour later, they talk about it again, and he is Livid, saying, “How dare they treat my family like this? I don’t like them, don’t wanna see them, especially the younger one; Marco had a reason to leave the wedding. She is so full of herself.” My mom then continues by saying, “They aren’t my sisters by heart, only blood.” Apparently, there is a video of Kylie being rude ( the video is of her looking at them). She is a really judgy person, but in the video, she is just looking around, and she naturally has a resting bitch face. Anyway, my mom is trying to get me to be mad at my aunts, and she wants to confront Kylie and Gabriella. I am really, really mad at this situation. I want my mom to be happy, but she’s letting a guy we barely know determine her feelings about her family. For reference, he has never made an effort to know her sisters, and now he is coming here shiting on my family like he owns the place when no one knows him. I feel like he’s ruining the family dynamic, and this will change how the rest of our lives turn out. My mom brings this random guy into our lives and just expects us to accept the fact that they are getting married, it takes a while to get used to it. If my mom cuts ties with her family because of him shes gonna be alone because I will not be “ on her side”. So AITAH for feeling this way?

Hi all! My wedding reception is coming up this year and I’m trying to decide on florals. Yes I have been procrastinating this, but I swear I don’t want a lot of florals so I didn’t think it would be complicated.
Long story short I thought I wanted to rent silk flowers from Something Borrowed Blooms but when the samples came in, I didn’t like how they looked and I decided I wanted to look into real flowers.
The only thing I am stuck on wanting real flowers for is my bridal bouquet. It would be nice to have bridesmaid bouquets and boutonnières be real, but my wedding budget was passed a long time ago to be honest.
Now I am thinking about getting a real floral bouquet from a local florist and renting the other florals from SBB. Then I came across a post about Costco wedding flowers in this group and I love that option! My only issue with that is the bouquet isn’t super customizable, but I could get real florals for bridesmaid bouquet and groom/groomsmen boutonnières for a really good price! Now I am torn.
Let me know what y’all think, and if you have any experience with Costco florals. Wedding is in Dallas TX if you have a recommendation for a local florist for a custom bouquet!
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Link to original nosleep post:
https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/1azq8ri/i_was_invited_to_play_the_games_in_the_woods_and/
When I was very young, my grandfather used to always tell me to stay out of the woods behind our house.
"Legend has it, that there's something terrible in there." He'd say, pointing to the trees behind our home with his only arm, the other of which he'd told me he had lost in the war. "And no one who goes in, ever comes back the same."
But I never took his warnings very seriously, given his age, and hard life, writing them off as the ramblings of a senile and bitter old man.
At least until a few years later, when, at the age of ten, I was told by my mother that my grandfather had passed…
...And had left me a parting gift.
It was a crumpled envelope with the word "Bobby" scribbled onto the back, sealed with more tape than an envelope needed sealing.
Inside, was a folded piece of paper, which, upon unfolding, I noticed my grandfather had sketched the layout of what looked like three games.
Beside the first two games, he had written instructions for what looked like how to beat them.
"Don't go in the box."
"Don’t run."
Beside the third, were a couple more notes.
"Don’t lift it alone."
"This is as far as I made it, before I lost my arm."
And at the very bottom of the page, Grandpa had addressed me directly.
"Bobby, if you receive an invitation to play the games in the woods, do not accept it. Run as far away as you can. But in the event you end up there anyway, may these instructions help you finish what I started."
Games in the woods? I thought to myself. After all the warnings, and all the lectures, Grandpa was trying to protect me from games?
I found the whole thing quite silly, and resolved to put it out of my mind.
And so, that's exactly what I did, burying away both the loss of my Grandfather, and the gift that he had left for me, for four long years.
That is, until, at the age of fourteen, when I was a freshman in high school, I received a scroll on my doorstep, tied together with a thorny vine.
After carefully unraveling it, I discovered an invite to the very games that my Grandfather had warned me about, grotesquely handwritten in ink.
"Bobby,
Join us in the forest behind your house tonight, to compete in the games in the woods.
Don't be late. The games will begin promptly at midnight."
I laughed out loud and immediately tore up the scroll on the spot.
But who could be the one pranking me? I wondered. Surely my mom wasn't in on it? Who could have known about the invitation that my Grandfather referenced? Maybe my Uncle Frank? He's always been a jokester. Yes, it must be Uncle Frank.
And on that note, I went about my day, and completely forgot about the scroll.
That is, until later that night, when, while fast asleep, I suddenly felt myself torn from my bed, stuffed into what felt like a canvas satchel, and dragged out my window and, from the sound of it, what must have been through the woods behind my house.
The whole time, I tried my best to kick and scream…
"This isn't funny, Uncle Frank! I know what you're up to!"
...But Uncle Frank, or so I thought, was much too strong to break free from, and the next thing I knew, I found myself dropped into the middle of the forest, and my satchel ripped away.
"Uncle Frank?" I called out, unable to see my surroundings in the dark.
Until my eyes adjusted, and I looked up to find a hooded figure, wearing a tattered brown cloak and holding a burning torch that illuminated everything around him, save for what lay under his shadowy hood.
What the heck? I thought to myself. That's not Uncle Frank.
The shrouded man said no words, and simply pointed to a footbridge, lit by torchlight, not far away, and gestured for me to cross it.
Realizing now that this wasn't Uncle Frank's doing, and in turn, that the letter, and my Grandfather's warning, must both be real, I began shaking in fear and, not knowing what else to do, obeyed the hooded figure's order.
When I got to the other side, I found myself surrounded by what must have been twenty of the hooded man's kin, all holding torches, and encircling a glen in the forest, where the moon and the stars could now be seen in the night sky.
And in the center of the glen, were four poor souls. Kids like me, who must have also received the invitation, or been dragged here against their will, or both. Kids, from my high school, that I recognized.
There was Brad Ashworth, our class valedictorian, in a sweater vest, khakis, and boots, clearly prepared for the occasion…
...Caitlin Sullivan, whom many kids called a nerd, geek, dweeb, and weirdo, but whom I found to be perfectly normal, wearing a pair of overalls and round, wire frame glasses…
...Colin Richardson, in a running suit, a jock, known for excelling at at least three sports, football, track, and basketball..
...And none other than Milton Dugan, the biggest bully in school, best known for using his sheer size to jam freshmen into lockers, wearing a pair of polka dot pajamas.
"Shut up, loser." He called out to me, noticing the smile on my face when I saw what he was wearing.
"What do you think they are?" Colin asked me, pointing to the hooded figures.
"I have no idea. But I don't think they're friendly." I replied.
Until Caitlin chimed in, "They're Druids, idiots."
"Whatever they are, I'm not scared of them." Brad added.
That's when it hit me.
Who would bring five high school students out into the middle of the woods to teach them a lesson? Well, teachers of course. That must be it! Teachers! Yes, it's teachers under those hoods!
But before I could continue to dwell on my epiphany, we were all suddenly interrupted, by the sound of a loud howl emanating from the forest.
And then…
...An old man with a white beard came hobbling out of the woods, walking stick in one hand, and an object that I couldn’t identify in his other.
It was only when he reached the center of the glen, and stopped just a few feet away from us, that I noticed he was missing something…
...The reflection of light in his eyes.
And upon further observation, it became apparent…
...That he had no eyes at all.
What the? I thought to myself, before gasping, as the old man began to speak.
"Invited ones. You stand before me tonight, under the light of the moon, with a great challenge before you. A challenge that only comes around every seventy-five years. Each of you, were hand picked to play these games tonight, for each of you represent a unique virtue. Five virtues put to the same test, to see which will overcome all others. The winner, will be awarded the greatest prize of all. While the losers, will pay a heavy price."
The other four kids and I turned to each other with looks of confusion, then turned back to the old man, who continued.
"But before we begin. Which of you, knows for a fact, that you are the best player among us? Which of you, is so brave, so courageous, so sure of your abilities, that you'll volunteer to step into the box?" He asked, pointing to an area of the glen, that had been covered in darkness, but until the Druids lit it with torchlight.
It was a wooden box, about the size of a telephone booth, completely enclosed with what appeared to be a door on one side and a metal latch to open it.
The Box! I thought to myself, remembering my Grandfather's letter, outlining three games, and assuming the first of which was this one.
"Don't go in the box.”
Easy enough. I mused, looking over at the other kids, waiting for one of them to heed the call instead, until…
"It's me. I'm the smartest, and the most talented one here. I'll do it." Brad called out, raising his hand, before turning back to us, "Cowards."
"Very well," The old man replied, walking over to the box, opening the door, and gesturing for him to enter.
And so he did.
Oh no. I thought to myself, as all of us kids cringed in anticipation of something unspeakable happening inside.
But after a minute, the old man simply walked back over to the door, opened it, and let Brad out.
He came proudly walking out of it, chest in the air, with a smug smile on his face, and belted out the words. "See! Nothing to fear, fraidy cats."
Despite his obnoxious comment, we all let out a sigh of relief.
Until suddenly, a few of the druids grabbed Brad by the arms, and pinned him to the box.
"What's going on? What are you doing?" Our valedictorian cried out, unsure of what exactly was happening.
The hooded men proceeded to pry open his jaws with their hands, as the old man hobbled over to him, revealing the object in his hand… a sharp, silver sword.
But before any of us could react, the old druid had already reached into Brad's mouth, cut off his tongue, and held it up for all to see.
Brad began crying and wailing, blood spraying from his mouth, as the druids let him go and he fell to the ground, arms flailing in pain.
Meanwhile, the rest of us kids just stood there, wide eyed in fear, unable to comprehend what we had just seen.
"That was Game One." The old man called out to us. "Let it be a lesson, that your greatest strengths can also be your greatest weaknesses. In this case, confidence begets arrogance. Now, take him away."
Upon his command, two druids ran over to Brad, who was now passed out, picked him up, and carried him away into the woods.
"Let's move on to Game Two, shall we?" The eyeless old man continued, leading us, and the other druids, out of the glen, into the forest, down a torchlit path, and to a massive field, illuminated by the moonlight.
He then took his staff, stuck it into the ground, and carved a long line in the dirt.
"Will the remaining players please stand behind the line."
Still in shock from what had just happened, we all obeyed his command, lining up before the line in the dirt, which separated us from the football field sized lawn.
"Are you gonna hurt one of us again?" Milton called out, puffing out his chest. "Cause I'm not afraid of you guys, and I’m fully capable of defending myself!"
The old man ignored his rant, and continued on with his own, "The rules of the second game are simple. When I say go, you're to run with the wolves."
"Wolves?" Caitlin whispered to me, trying to understand he meant.
Just then, a group of druids emerged from the forest, leading four ravenous wolves on leashes to the field behind us, each of them drooling at the mouth while howling and growling at us maniacally.
Caitlin and I shared a brief look of horror, before the eyeless man stepped aside and called out, "Go!"
Colin was the first one to sprint off into the field, followed by Caitlin, and then, what would have been me, but when I began to dart away, something jutted out in front of my legs and tripped me to the ground.
Confused by what had happened, I looked up from the dirt to see Milton hopping over me…
"Sucker!"
...As I realized that it must have been he who had tripped me, and saw the Druids unleash the four wolves.
I hopped up to my feet and attempted to run again, but before they hit the ground, the wolves had already caught up to me.
In that moment, I closed my eyes and braced for the worst, but when I opened them again, I saw that they had run right past me, seemingly in pursuit of the others up ahead.
But as I continued to watch the wolves run away, I noticed that they soon passed Milton too, and then Caitlin, finally making their way to Colin, who was running so fast, that he disappeared into whatever lay beyond the field.
And then, the feral dogs stopped running, just before the end of the field, and began howling and growling again, and they looked down at something below them.
Eventually catching up with the others and making my way to the end of the field, Caitlin, Milton, and myself finally saw what had happened to Colin.
There, at the end of the field, was a great pit, and at the bottom, was the star athlete himself, writhing in pain and begging for our help.
"Help me!" Colin called out, clenching his legs, which must have broken from the fall.
"Does anyone have a rope or anything we can lower down to him?" Caitlin asked.
But the druids had just arrived, and were already lowering one down to Colin.
And by the time they pulled him up, still screaming out in pain, the old eyeless druid had arrived, ready to greet him.
"Why would you put a pit at the end of the race?" Colin screamed, as he lay helpless on the ground.
"You said to run from the wolves."
"I said to run with the wolves, not from them. They mean no harm, just look at your friends here. But you. You got ahead of yourself. And for that, there is a price." The old man warned.
"Price? I already broke my legs." Colin replied.
"Well now, we take them." The eyeless man said ominously, before the druids surrounded Colin and held him down, as another approached him holding a giant scythe, its blade glimmering in the moonlight.
"Wait! No!" He cried out.
But it was too late. In an instant, one of his legs was gone. Severed from his body by the swinging scythe, as blood sprayed everywhere, and Colin screamed in agony.
A second later, I saw Caitlin remove her glasses and wipe the blood from them, before putting them back on and continuing to watch on silently in horror.
"What is wrong with you guys?" Milton called out, clenching his fists and pacing around in a threatening fashion.
For a moment, I thought about cursing out Milton for tripping me, but then I realized he had actually saved me.
And that's when I remembered my Grandfather's second clue.
"Don't run."
He was right again.
"Take him away." The old man said for a second time, as a group of druids walked over and proceeded to carry Colin off into the woods, before turning to Milton, Caitlin, and myself.
"And now for Game Three."
He then led us back into the forest, and down a rocky path that hugged a winding stream.
At the end of the path, we came to a clearing between the trees, where we saw two giant boulders, each nearly the size of a person, placed side by side on the ground.
"For this game, you have an option. Lift a boulder yourself, or pick a teammate to help you lift it. The person or team who holds it the longest, wins. And the one who's first to drop it, loses. Understand?"
Milton, Caitlin, and I all looked at each other for a moment, as we weighed the options.
But suddenly, I remembered my Grandfather’s third instruction.
"Don’t lift it alone."
And before Milton could utter a word, I ran over to Caitlin.
"Caitlin and I will be a team." I declared, as she smiled, and put her arm around my shoulder.
"But what about me?" Milton asked, offended by being the odd man out, before correcting himself. "Actually, you know what? Fine! I'm stronger than both of you combined anyway. This will be your own undoing, dorks! I'll compete by myself."
"Very well," the old man called out, as he stood between the two stones. "When I say go, lift the boulders up off the ground, for as long as you can."
Caitlin and I crouched down and gripped the boulder from below, then looked at each other.
"We got this." I assured her with a smile.
"We got this." She replied, smiling back.
Meanwhile, Milton was scrambling to grasp onto his boulder, and began begging for more time. "Just a second, I swear. This boulder's heavier on one side and it's just-"
But before he could continue, the old man raised his staff and called out, "Go!" at the top of his lungs.
Caitlin and I carefully and calmly lifted our boulder, and despite its heavy weight, strained ourselves to keep it elevated above the ground.
But Milton was not as lucky. From the very beginning, he was doomed, as he still hadn't secured his grip on the rock when the old man yelled "Go!" and bumbled when he lifted it up, catching it in hands, but in an position that looked much too uncomfortable for him sustain.
And as the stone slowly began to slip out of his arms, Milton looked over at Caitlin and I with a sour face and mumbled, "You screwed me, losers."
"Maybe if you weren't such a dick, Milton, someone might have chosen you." I replied, in an attempt to drive home the reason why he had lost.
Milton tried to think of a clever retort, "You know what, Bobby-" but before he could finish his sentence, it was too late. The stone had fallen to the ground. He stopped what he was saying and looked down at it, a look of fear washing over his face.
And as the druids began to surround him, rather than threaten them like he had in the past, Milton began to cry. "Please don't hurt me! Please, I'll do anything!"
But it was too late. The druids dragged Milton to the stump of a tree and laid his arm down upon it, as another swung an ax high above his head, and brought it slicing down through Milton's arm, leaving him with a stump of his own.
As he saw the blood pouring out of his appendage, Milton began to scream, until his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he eventually passed out.
And for a third time, the eyeless old man called out, "Take him away."
Now, only Caitlin and I remained. Together we stood there in silence, arms around each other, as Milton's limp body was carried off into the woods.
"Which brings us to Game Four," the old druid began, "Perhaps the simplest of all. For this game is decided by you and you alone. When I say go, you'll have one minute to come to a decision on who will be the winner, and who will be the loser."
Caitlin replied "Wait-"
But before she could continue, the old man interrupted her, commencing the final game, "Go!"
Caitlin and I huddled together in the woods, as the old man, and the druids, encircled us, waiting for us to come to a consensus.
"Wait, what do we do?" Caitlin whispered.
"I don't know." I whispered back.
"Should we choose both of us as the winners?"
"No, we'd be breaking the rules. He specified a winner and a loser. They'll punish us both. We need to choose one."
"But that means one of us, will suffer the same fate as the others."
"I don't know if we have any other choice.”
"Then how should we decide?"
"I don't know."
"Wait," Caitlin said, as she reached into the pocket of her overalls and removed a coin. "If you're okay with it. A coin toss would be fair. Totally up to chance.”
"It would be fair. Let's do it. But quick." I replied, knowing our minute would soon end.
"Then you choose. Heads or tails." She offered up.
"Okay. Um... heads!" I replied quickly.
And like that, Caitlin held out her fist…
...Dropped the coin…
...Towards the forest floor below…
...Time suddenly slowing…
...As it descended towards the ground…
...Spinning…
...And spinning…
…And spinning…
...Until…
...Thud.
We both crouched down, and saw the result that would seal our fate forever…
…Heads.
I had won.
Caitlin looked up at me, her eyes wide, and her mouth agape, as tears began to roll down her cheeks.
"I'm sorry." I whispered.
"It's okay." She whispered back.
And then…
...The old man spoke.
"Your time is up. What is your decision? Who is the winner, and who is the loser?"
Both Caitlin and my heads hung low, as she began to speak, "I'm the-"
"Winner." I interrupted, as she looked at me, completely surprised by what I had said. "She's the winner, and I'm the loser."
"But Bobby-" She whispered.
"Save yourself. Don't worry about me." I insisted, whispering back to her, as the old man approached us.
"Very well." He said, holding his wrinkled hand out to Caitlin, who accepted it in hers.
And so, he escorted her away, off into the woods, hobbling on his wooden staff, until they disappeared into the night.
And as for me. I… well I was left there in the dark, surrounded by a dozen druids, who slowly closed in on me.
I didn't know what to do so I, accepting my fate, simply closed my eyes and braced for the worst…
...But similar to what had come of the impending doom of the howling wolves...
...Nothing happened.
I opened my eyes, to find one of the druids standing before me.
"Congratulations..." He said, in an ominous voice, "...On winning the games."
"What?" I asked, confused how that could be possible. "I don't understand. I voted for Caitlin to be the winner."
"Yes, you did." He replied, "But humility is the virtue that always wins the games. Your selfless act, sacrificing your own life for that of another's, is why you won."
"And what do I win?" I asked, not knowing what else to say.
"Just as the keeper of the games had stated, the greatest prize of all..." He said, "..Life."
"And what about Caitlin? What will become of her?"
"That is still yet to be decided. But you will find out soon enough."
Any sort of relief that I had felt immediately disappeared, and my heart sank, as I realized that by volunteering my own life to save Caitlin's, I may have actually cost her hers.
"Wait," I called out, "Let me take her place. Please."
But before I could continue, I felt the druids shove a giant canvas satchel over me, just as they'd done earlier that night, before whisking me away into the forest.
They must have knocked me out after that, because when I came to, I found myself back in my bedroom, lying face first on the cold, wooden floor.
The next day at school, I raced to Caitlin's locker, and then her home room, desperately hoping to see her face, hoping to put my mind at ease…
...But she never showed up. That day… or ever again.
And as for Brad, Colin, and Milton, their claims about how they lost their respective body parts, despite being substantiated by me, were all written off by police, parents, and teachers alike as foolish accidents, when no such games were ever found in the woods.
Years later, as my wife and I discuss having a child, I find myself wondering if I'll ever have a grandchild of my own…
...If they, too, will be invited to play the games in the woods, the next time the druids come around…
...And if Caitlin will be one of them.

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Wish HD/MA $7
Witch HD/VU $3.5
Woman King 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $4
Woman Walks Ahead HD/VU $4
You're Next HD/VU $3.5
X-Men 1-4 Set SD/MA $7.5
Zombieland Double Tap HD/MA $4
All other movies (A-Z)
10 Cloverfield Lane HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
101 Dalmatians '61 HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
13 Hours HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
14 Blades HD/VU $3.5
1917 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5
2 Guns 4K/MA $4 or HD/MA or IT $2.5
21 Jump Street HD/MA $3
22 Jump Street HD/MA $3.5
3 Extremes HD/VU $4
3 From Hell (Unr) 4K/VU $4 or HD/VU $2.5
3:10 to Yuma 4K/VU $5
31 HD/VU $2.5
47 Meters Down HD/IT $3.5
47 Meters Down Uncaged 4K/VU $4.5 or HD/VU $3
47 Ronin HD/MA $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
600 Miles HD/VU $3.5
71 HD/VU $3.5
A Christmas Story 4K/MA $6
A Dog's Purpose HD/IT $3
A Good Day to Die Hard (Ext) HD/VU $2.5
A Journal For Jordan HD/MA $4
A Quiet Place HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
A Walk Among the Tombstones HD/IT $3.5
A Wrinkle in Time HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5
A.C.O.D. HD/VU or IT $3.5
Abominable 4K/MA $5.5 or HD/MA $4
About Last Night HD/MA $3
Action Point HD/IT $2
Ad Astra HD/MA $4
Adaptation 4K/MA $6
Adrift HD/IT $3.5
Adverse 4K/VU $5
After Earth HD/MA $3
Aftermath HD/VU $3
Air Force One 4K/MA $6
Aladdin ‘19 HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5
Aladdin ‘92 HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Alien HD/MA $4
Alien Covenant HD/MA $2.5
Alfred Hitchcock 4-Film Set Vol 1 4K/MA $18
Alfred Hitchcock 5-Film Set Vol 2 4K/MA $21
Alien 6-film Set HD/MA $16
Alita Battle Angel 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5
All Eyez on Me HD/VU or IT $3
All is Lost HD/VU $3.5
All the Money in the World HD/MA $3.5
Allied HD/VU or IT $3.5
Almost Christmas HD/MA or IT $3
Amazing Spider-Man 2 HD/MA $3.5 or SD/MA $1.5
Amazing Spider-Man HD/MA $3.5 or SD/MA $1.5
American Assassin 4K/VU $4.5 or HD/VU $3
American Hustle HD/MA $3.5
American Reunion HD/VU or IT $3
American Ultra HD/VU or IT $4
American Underdog 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Anatomy of a Murder 4K/MA $5
Anchorman 2 HD/VU or IT $2.5
Angel Has Fallen 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Angel Heart 4K/VU $5.5
Angel of Mine 4K/VU $5.5
Angry Birds Movie HD/MA $3.5
Anna Karenina HD/IT $3.5
Annie ‘14 HD/MA $3.5
Annihilation HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Antebellum 4K/VU $5
Antlers HD/GP $3
Ant-Man & the Wasp HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Ant-Man HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
Apache Junction HD/VU $3.5
Apollo 13 4K/MA or IT $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Arctic HD/MA $4
Arrival HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Art of Self-Defense HD/MA $4
Ash vs Evil Dead S.3 HD/VU $5
Assassination Nation HD/MA $3.5
Assassin's Creed HD/MA $3
Assignment HD/VU $4
Atomic Blonde 4K/MA or IT $4.5 or HD/MA $3
August Osage County HD/VU $3
Avengers Age of Ultron HD/GP $3
Avengers Endgame HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Avengers Infinity War 4K/MA $4 or HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Baby Driver HD/MA $4
Backdraft 4K/IT $5.5
Bad Grandpa HD/VU or IT $2.5
Bad Words HD/MA or IT $3
Bandslam HD/VU $4
Bank Job HD/VU $3.5
Barb & Star go to Vista Del Mar HD/VU $4
Barbie & Her Sisters in the Great Puppy Adventure HD/IT $3.5
Bart Got a Room HD/VU $4
Battle Royale HD/VU $4.5
Battleship 4K/MA or IT $4.5 or HD/MA $3
Baywatch HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Beauty & the Beast ‘17 HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Beauty & the Beast ‘91 HD/GP $3
Bedknobs & Broomsticks HD/GP $3.5
Before I Fall HD/VU or IT $3.5
Begin Again HD/VU $3.5
Beiruit HD/MA $3.5
Belly 4K/VU $5.5
Ben-Hur ‘16 HD/VU $3.5
Between Worlds HD/VU $3.5
Big Hero 6 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Big Lebowski 4K/MA or IT $5.5
Big Short HD/VU $3.5
Big Wedding HD/VU or IT $3
Billy Elliot HD/MA or IT $4
Birdman HD/MA $4
Black & Blue HD/MA $4
Black Christmas '19 HD/MA $4.5
Black Panther 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/GP $2.5
Black Panther Wakanda Forever HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
BlackKklansman HD/MA $4.5
Blacklight HD/MA $4
Black Widow HD/GP $3
Blackhat HD/IT $3.5
Blair Witch Project ‘99 HD/VU $4
Bleeding Steel HD/VU $3.5
Blindspotting 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Blood Money ‘17 HD/VU $3.5
Blood Ties HD/VU $3.5
Blue Jasmine HD/MA $3.5
Blue Ruin HD/VU $4
Blues Brothers HD/MA $4 or 4K/IT $4.5
Bob's Burgers Movie HD/GP $3
Body Cam HD/VU $4
Bohemian Rhapsody 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Bombshell 4K/VU $5
Book Club HD/VU or IT $2.5
Book of Life HD/MA $3.5
Boss Baby HD/MA $2.5
Bourne Identity 4K/IT $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Bourne Legacy HD/VU $2 or 4K/IT $2.5
Bourne Supremacy HD/MA $3.5 or 4K/IT $4
Bourne Ultimatum 4K/MA or IT $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Boy ‘16 HD/IT $3.5
Boy & the World HD/IT $3.5
Boyhood HD/VU or IT $2.5
Braven HD/VU $4
Breakfast Club HD/MA or IT $4
Breakthrough HD/MA $3
Brian Banks HD/MA $3
Bridge of Spies HD/GP $3.5
Brothers Bloom HD/VU $4.5
Bumblebee 4K/VU or IT $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Butler HD/VU $3
Cabin in the Woods HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Cake HD/MA $4
Call of Wild 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5
Calvary HD/MA $4
Candyman '20 4K/MA $6 or HD/MA $4.5
Candyman 3 HD/VU $4
Captain America Civil War HD/GP $2.5
Captain America First Avenger HD/GP $3.5
Captain America Winter Soldier HD/GP $3.5
Captain Marvel 4K/MA $4 or HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Captain Phillips HD/MA $3.5
Captain Underpants First Epic Movie HD/MA $2.5
Carol HD/VU $4
Cars 3 HD/GP $2.5
Casablanca 4K/MA $5.5
Case for Christ HD/MA or IT $2.5
Casper HD/IT $4
Celebrating Mickey HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Chaos Walking 4K/VU $5
Chappaquiddick HD/VU $4
Chasing Mavericks HD/MA $3.5
Chicago HD/VU $4
Child 44 HD/VU $4
Children ‘08 HD/VU $4
Christopher Robin HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
Chronicles of Riddick HD/IT $4
Clerks 3 4K/VU $4.5
Clifford the Big Red Dog HD/VU $4
Cloverfield 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Coco HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5
Cold Pursuit 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Collection HD/VU $3.5
Collide ‘17 HD/VU or IT $2.5
Colma The Musical HD/VU $4
Colombiana (Unr) HD/MA $4
Colony 4K/VU $5
Come & Find Me HD/VU $4
Commuter 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Company of Heroes HD/MA $4
Conan the Barbarian ‘11 4K/VU $5
Conspirator HD/VU $4
Contraband HD/IT $3
Contractor HD/VU $4.5
Cooler HD/VU $4
Cool Hand Luke 4K/MA $5.5
Cooties HD/VU $4
Cotton Club Encore 4K/VU $5.5
Countdown ‘16 HD/VU $3.5
Courier 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Craft Legacy HD/MA $4.5
Criminal HD/VU or IT $3
Croods HD/VU $3.5
Cruella HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Crypto 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Daddy's Home HD/IT $2.5
Daddy's Home 2 HD/VU or IT $3
Damsel HD/VU $4.5
Dangerous 4K/VU $4.5 or HD/VU $3
Danny Collins HD/IT $3.5
Dark Crimes HD/VU $4
Darkest Minds HD/MA $4
Dark Places HD/VU $4
Dark Tower HD/MA $3.5
Darkest Hour ‘17 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes HD/MA $3.5
Deadpool 2 (w/Super Duper Cut) HD/MA $4
Deadpool HD/MA $2.5
Death of Me HD/VU $4
Death on the Nile HD/GP $3
Death Wish '18 HD/VU $3
Deepwater Horizon HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Deliver Us From Evil HD/MA $3.5
Dentist 2-Film Set HD/VU $7
Despicable Me 2 HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Despicable Me 3 4K/MA or IT $4.5
Despicable Me 4K/MA or IT $4.5
Detroit HD/MA $3.5
Devil Inside HD/VU $3.5
Devil's Due HD/MA $3.5
Die Hard HD/MA $3.5
Die Hard 5-film Set HD/MA $18
Die in a Gunfight 4K/VU $5
Dilemma HD/VU $3.5
Dirty Dancing 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Disney Animated Short Films Set HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Disneynature Monkey Kingdom HD/MA $3
Django Unchained HD/VU $3
Doctor Strange HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5
Doctor Strange Multiverse of Madness HD/GP $3
Dolittle HD/MA $3.5
Dom Hemingway HD/MA $3.5
Don Verdean HD/VU $4.5
Doorman HD/VU $3.5
Doors 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Downsizing HD/VU $2 or 4K/IT $2.5
Downton Abbey A New Era HD/MA $4
Downton Abbey The Movie HD/MA $3.5
Draft Day HD/IT $3.5
Dragged Across Concrete HD/VU $3.5
Dragonslayer 4K/VU $5.5
Dream a Little Dream HD/VU $4
Dreamkatcher HD/VU $4
Dreamworks 10-Film HD/MA $25
Dredd 4K/VU $4 or HD/VU $2.5
Dying of the Light HD/VU $2.5
E.T. Extra Terrestrial 4K/MA or IT $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Early Man 4K/VU $5.5
Earth Girls are Easy HD/VU $4
Eddie the Eagle HD/MA $4
Edge of Seventeen HD/IT $3
Edward Scissorhands HD/MA $3.5
El Chicano HD/MA $4
Elysium HD/MA $3.5
Emoji Movie HD/MA $3
Empire of Light HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Empire State HD/VU $3
Encanto 4K/GP $3.5
Enough Said HD/MA $3.5
Enter the Dragon 4K/MA $6
Epic HD/MA $3
Equalizer HD/MA $3.5
Equalizer 2 HD/MA $3.5
Escape From Planet Earth HD/VU $3
Eternals HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Everest HD/MA $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Everything Must Go HD/VU $4
Evil Dead 2 HD/VU $3.5
Ex Machina HD/VU $3
Exodus Gods & Kings HD/MA $3.5
Expired 4K/VU $4.5
Fair Game (Dir) HD/VU $4
Fantastic Four ‘15 HD/MA $4
Fast & Furious 4 4K/MA $5
Fast & the Furious 8-film Set HD/MA $17.5
Fast & the Furious 9-film Set HD/MA $20
Fast Color 4K/VU $5.5
Fatale ‘20 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Fatherhood HD/MA $4
Fault in Our Stars HD/MA $3.5
Fear of Rain 4K/VU $5.5
Fences HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Ferdinand HD/MA $3.5
Field of Dreams 4K/MA or IT $5.5
Fifty Shades Darker (Unr) HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Fifty Shades Freed HD/MA $4
Fifty Shades of Grey (Unr) 4K/MA or IT $4
Finding Dory HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Finding Nemo HD/GP $3.5
Finest Hours HD/GP $3
Firm 4K/VU $6
First Man HD/MA $4
Flashback ‘20 HD/VU $4
Flight HD/VU or IT $3
Florence Foster Jenkins HD/VU or IT $3
Footloose ‘11 HD/IT $3
Forbidden Kingdom HD/VU $4.5
Ford v Ferrari HD/MA $4
Forest HD/IT $3.5
Forever My Girl HD/IT $3
Fortress HD/VU $3.5
Fortress Sniper's Eye HD/VU $3.5
Fox & the Hound 2 HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
Foxcatcher HD/MA $4
Frank & Lola HD/VU or IT $3
Free Guy HD/GP $3
French Dispatch HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
Friday the 13th 4K/VU $5.5
From Here to Eternity 4K/MA $5.5
Frozen (Sing-Along) HD/MA $2 or HD/GP $1.5
Frozen HD/GP $2
Frozen 2 HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Frozen Ground ‘13 HD/VU $3.5
Fury HD/MA $3.5
Future World HD/VU $3.5
G.I. Joe Retaliation HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Gambit ‘12 HD/MA $4
Gambler HD/VU or IT $3
Gamer 4K/VU $5.5
Gemini Man 4K/VU or IT $4.5 or HD/VU $3
Get Out 4K/MA or IT $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Ghost in the Shell ‘17 HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Ghost in the Shell ‘95 4K/VU $5
Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance HD/MA $4
Ghost Team One HD/VU or IT $3.5
Ghostbusters ‘84 HD/MA $3.5
Ghostbusters (Thea & Ext) ‘16 HD/MA $3
Ghostbusters 2 HD/MA $3.5
Gifted HD/MA $3
Girl in Spider's Web HD/MA $4
Girl on Train HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Girl w/ All Gifts HD/VU $4
Giver HD/VU $3.5
Glass Castle 4K/VU $5.5
Glass HD/MA $4
God Bless The Broken Road HD/VU $3.5
God's Not Dead 2 HD/MA or IT $2.5
God's Not Dead 3 HD/MA $3
Gods of Egypt HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Gold ‘16 HD/VU $2.5
Good Dinosaur HD/GP $2.5
Good Kill HD/VU or IT $3.5
Grease 2 HD/VU $4
Great Wall 4K/MA or IT $4.5 or HD/MA $3
Greatest Showman HD/MA $3.5
Green Book HD/MA $4
Grey HD/VU or IT $3
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 1 HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 HD/GP $2
Guilt Trip HD/VU or IT $3
Gunman HD/MA or IT $3
Guns of Navarone 4K/MA $5.5
Hacksaw Ridge 4K/VU or IT $4.5 or HD/VU $3
Halloween ‘18 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/MA $3
Hammer of the Gods HD/VU $2
Hannibal S.1 HD/VU $5
Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters (Unr) HD/VU or IT $3
Hard Luck Love Song 4K/VU $5.5
Hard Target 2 HD/IT $1.5
Hardcore Henry HD/VU or IT $3.5
Hate U Give HD/MA $4
Hateful Eight HD/VU $3.5
Heat (Director's Cut) ‘95 4K/MA $5.5
Heaven is for Real HD/MA $3.5
Hercules ‘14 HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Here Comes the Boom HD/MA $3.5
Hereditary HD/VU $3.5
Hidden Figures HD/MA $3
High Note HD/MA $4
Highlander 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Hitchcock '12 HD/MA $4
Hitman Agent 47 HD/MA $3
Hitman's Bodyguard HD/VU $3.5
Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard 4K/VU $5.5
Hocus Pocus HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Home HD/MA $3
Home Again HD/MA $3
Home Alone 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Homefront HD/MA or IT $3
Homesman HD/VU $3
Honey 2 HD/VU $3
Hostiles 4K/VU $4.5 or HD/VU $3
Hotel Transylvania 3 HD/MA $3.5
Hot Fuzz HD/VU $4
Hotel Mumbai HD/MA $4
Hours ‘13 HD/VU $4
House of 1000 Corpses HD/VU $4
House of Gucci 4K/IT $5.5
House w/ a Clock in Its Walls sHD/MA $4
How to Train Your Dragon 2 HD/MA $2.5
Hugo HD/VU $3
Hunt for Red October 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Huntsman Winter's War (Ext) HD/MA $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
I Can Only Imagine HD/VU $3.5
I Feel Pretty HD/IT $2
Ides of March HD/MA $4
I Know What You Did Last Summer 4K/MA $5.5
Imitation Game HD/VU $3
In a Valley of Violence HD/MA or IT $3
In Secret ‘14 HD/VU $4.5
In the Blood HD/VU $4
Incredibles 2 HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Independence Day ‘96 HD/MA $4
Independence Day Resurgence HD/MA $2.5
Indiana Jones & the Raiders of the Lost Ark 4K/VU or IT $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Indiana Jones & the Temple of Doom 4K/VU or IT $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Indignation HD/VU $4
Indivisible HD/MA $3.5
Inferno HD/MA $3
Initiation 4K/VU $5
Initiation HD/VU $3.5
Internship HD/MA $3
Interstellar 4K/VU or IT $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Interview HD/MA $3.5
Into the Woods HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5
Invisible Man '20 HD/MA $3.5
Invisible Man ‘33 HD/MA $3.5
Iron Man 3 HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Iron Man & Hulk Heroes United HD/GP $3.5
Iron Mask ‘19 HD/VU $4.5
It Follows HD/VU $3.5
It's a Wonderful Life HD/VU $3
Jack & Jill HD/MA $3.5
Jack Reacher 4K/VU or IT $5
Jack Reacher Never Go Back HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Jack Ryan Shadow Recruit 4K/IT $4 or HD/VU $2.5
Jacob's Ladder HD/VU $4
Jane Got a Gun HD/VU $4
Jarhead 3 (Unr) HD/IT $2.5
Jason Bourne HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Jesus Music HD/VU $3.5
Jexi HD/VU $3.5
Jobs HD/MA or IT $3.5
Joe HD/VU $3.5
Joe Kidd HD/IT $4
John Wick 1 & 2 Bundle HD/VU $4
John Wick 3 Parabellum 4K/VU $4.5
John Wick Chapter 2 HD/VU $3.5 or 4K/IT $4
John Wick HD/VU $2 or 4K/IT $2.5
John Wick Trilogy (Parabellum 4K) HD/VU $9 or all HD/VU $8
Journey to the West Conquering the Demons HD/VU $3.5
Joy HD/MA $3
Judy 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Juliet, Naked 4K/VU $5.5
Jumanji Welcome To The Jungle HD/MA $2.5
Jungle Book ‘16 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/GP $2.5
Jungle Cruise HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
Jurassic Park 3 HD/VU $3.5 or 4K/IT $4
Jurassic Park 4K/MA or IT $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Jurassic World 5-film Set HD/MA $14
Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/MA $3
Jurassic World HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Justice ‘17 HD/VU or IT $3
Kama Sutra HD/VU $4
Kick-Ass 2 HD/MA $3.5
Kid ‘19 HD/VU $3.5
Kid Who Would Be King 4K/MA $5.5 or HD/MA $4
Kidnap HD/VU or IT $2.5
Kill Zone ‘05 HD/VU $4.5
Killer Elite HD/IT $3
Killing Gunther HD/VU $4
Kin ‘18 4K/VU $4.5 or HD/VU $3
King Kong ‘05 4K/MA or IT $5 or HD/MA $3.5
King of Staten Island HD/MA $4
King's Man HD/GP $3.5
Kingsman The Golden Circle HD/MA $3
Kingsman The Secret Service HD/MA $3.5
Knives Out HD/VU $3.5
Knowing 4K/VU $5.5
La La Land HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Labor Day HD/VU or IT $3
Lady Macbeth HD/VU $4.5
Lady of the Manor 4K/VU $5
Lair of White Worm HD/VU $4.5
Lake Mungo HD/VU $4
Lara Croft Tomb Raider 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Last Dragon HD/MA $4.5
Last Duel HD/GP $3.5
Last Exorcism HD/VU $4
Last Knights HD/VU $3.5
Last Man ‘19 HD/VU $4
Last Stand HD/IT $2
Last Vegas HD/VU $3
Last Witch Hunter HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Lawrence of Arabia 4K/MA $5.5
Legend of Hercules 4K/IT $3
Legends of Oz Dorothy's Return HD/MA $3.5
Leprechaun 7-film Set HD/VU $12
Let's be Cops HD/MA $3.5
Let Him Go HD/MA $4
Let Me Explain HD/IT $2.5
Life ‘17 HD/MA $3.5
Life of Crime HD/VU $3.5
Life of Pi 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA or IT $3.5
Light of My Life HD/IT $3.5
Lightyear HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Like a Boss HD/VU $3.5
Lilo & Stitch 2 HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
Lion HD/VU $4
Lion King ‘19 4K/MA $4 or HD/GP $2
Lion King ‘94 4K/MA $5 or HD/GP $3
Little HD/MA $3.5
Little Mermaid ‘89 HD/MA $4
Live Free or Die Hard HD/MA $4
Locked Down 4K/MA $5.5
Logan HD/MA $3
Logan Lucky HD/MA $3.5 or /IT $4
Lone Ranger HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Lone Survivor HD/VU $2.5
Longest Ride HD/MA $3
Longest Week HD/VU $3.5
Looper HD/MA $3.5
Lorax HD/MA or IT $3
Lord of War 4K/VU $5.5
Lords of Salem HD/VU $4
Lost World Jurassic Park HD/MA $3.5
Love & Mercy HD/VU $3.5
Love & Monsters 4K/VU $5.5
Love the Coopers HD/VU or IT $4
Love, Simon HD/MA $3.5
Loving HD/VU or IT $3.5
Luca HD/GP $3
Lucy 4K/MA or IT $4.5 or HD/MA $3
Lyle, Lyle Crocodile HD/MA $4.5 or SD/MA $2
Madagascar 3 HD/MA $3
Maggie HD/VU $2.5
Magic Mike's Last Dance HD/MA $4.5
Magnificent Seven ‘16 HD/VU $3
Maleficent HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Maleficent Mistress of Evil HD/GP $2.5
Man Who Fell To Earth ‘76 4K/VU $5
Man Who Shot Liberty Vance 4K/VU $5.5
Marauders HD/VU $3.5
Marksman HD/MA $4
Martian HD/MA $3.5
Mary Poppins ‘64 HD/MA $3.5 or ‘64 HD/GP $3
Mary Poppins Returns 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/GP $2.5
Mask of Zorro 4K/MA $6
Mauritanian 4K/IT $5
Max Steel HD/IT $3
Maze Runner HD/MA $3.5
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Meatballs HD/VU $4
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Men HD/VU $4
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MI-5 Spooks '15 HD/VU $4
Mickey & Minnie 10 Classic Shorts HD/GP $4.5
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Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children HD/MA $3
Mission Impossible 3 4K/VU $5
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Mommy HD/VU $4
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Mummy 4-Film Set (Mummy 1-3, Scorpion King) HD/MA $12
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My All American HD/MA or IT $3.5
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Office Christmas Party 4K/IT $3.5
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Passengers HD/MA $3.5
Patriot Games 4K/VU $5
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Playing w/ Fire HD/VU or IT $2.5
Poltergeist ‘82 4K/MA $5.5
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Psycho 4K/MA $5
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Purge 4K/MA or IT $4.5 or HD/MA $3 or
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Quantum of Solace HD/VU $4.5
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Rio 2 (Sing-Along) HD/MA $3
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Rob Zombie Trilogy (3 From Hell, House of 1000 Corpses, Devil's Rejects) HD/VU $8
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Santa Clause HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Santa Clause 2 HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Santa Clause 3 HD/GP $2.5
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Saw (Unr) 4K/VU $4.5
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Saw HD/VU $3
Scarface HD/MA $4 or 4K/IT $4.5
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark 4K/VU $4.5
Schindler's List 4K/MA or IT $5.5 or HD/MA $4
Scream '96 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Scream Trilogy HD/VU $11
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Secret Life of Pets 4K/MA or IT $4.5 or HD/MA $3
See No Evil 2 HD/VU $3.5
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Silk Road 4K/VU $5
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Snow White & the Huntsman (Ext) 4K/VU or IT $4.5 or HD/VU $3
Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs ‘37 4K/MA $6 or HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
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Source Code 4K/VU $5.5
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Spider-Man 2 (Thea & Ext) HD/MA $4.5
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Spider-Man 4-Cut Set (Spider-Man 2 w/ Thea & Ext) HD/MA $11.5
Spider-Man Far From Home HD/MA $3
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Spider-Man No Way Home HD/MA $4 or SD/MA $2
Spies in Disguise HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Spinning Man HD/VU $4
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Still Alice HD/MA $4
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Super 8 4K/VU or IT $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Sword in the Stone HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
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Terminator 2 Judgment Day (Special) HD/VU $4.5
Terminator 2 Judgment Day 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
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Zootopia HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5

I (21F) am so so exhausted and annoyed at my 17 year old brother (I'll call him Raf) right now. For this mother's day me and my two brothers (the eldest lives abroad – I'll call him Dan) planned to buy our mum flowers and a picture frame, with a photo of the 4 of us. She has just moved out, after divorcing my dad, and it felt like a nice gift for her new apartment.
Raf was practically no help at all, not giving any opinions about the gifts and the possible photos. The entire week I sent messages to our groupchat to figure out what we'd do and when we'd do it, and no one really spoke up or made any final decisions. I ended up having to come up with the ideas and actually execute them, with some help from Dan. The only thing Raf did was walk with me to the supermarket on saturday (the excuse we made up to be able to buy the flowers) and then to the other supermarket to buy a bouquet, which I picked (he sent a picture of the options).
Through the entire afternoon on Sunday he egged me on, annoying me as he usually does, even after I had told him that I wasn't in the mood. I held my anger and frustration back, out of consideration for my mother. Then at night , after he and my mother went to a football game (something I was quite against, as I do not like football, but acquiesced as mum suggested we watch a film on the saturday night, an activity I enjoy), I went to the mall to buy a picture frame and print the photo, as we had planned. I sent some pictures to the groupchat, and he replied saying that they wouldn't load because he was at the stadium (which really does happen), and "whatever we picked would be fine", a selection of words that made me even more irritated with him.
However, to top it all off, when my mum arrived home (I was already there), she was alone. I questioned her, wondering where he was, since we had plan to give her the gift together. She told me he had asked her to drop him home, which made me sad at her too, considering she had told me she'd bring him to the apartment to pick me up and then leave us at home, as I have classes tomorrow but all my uni stuff's at my dad's house. I sent a message on the groupchat, asking him why he went home if we were supposed to give her the gift and he only replied "I forgot." I then asked if I could give her the gift alone and he said "You can give her." And nothing else. When I handed my mum the gift I made sure to be very clear about his actions, and how he was not only no help at all but had forgotten to give her her mother's day gift (that I had bought) on mother's day.
I once again bottled up my anger and my frustration, but I honestly feel like crying and screaming right now. I am so sick of always having to be the one to step up and acquiesce. He's allowed to leave the table without cleaning up, he's allowed to choose the restaurant we go to when no one even asks for my opinion, he's allowed to order food with dad's money even though we have food at home; he's always allowed to do whatever and it seems like my parents never care. Meanwhile if I drink beer two days on a row my father complains and says I'm drinking, if I order food I have to do it with my money, if no one walks the dog I'm always blamed, if no one locks the door at night it's my fault. I understand that he's younger, that he's still 17 (though almost 18) and I'm 22, but they show the same behaviour with Dan and I am so so tired of it. I don't know what to do, because I love my parents (and one time I brought this up and they were super defensive, saying they're not sexist and treat all their children the same), but I cannot take this anymore. I just wish I was a man too.
Is there anything I could do? Should I say anything? I live with my parents and moving out isn't an option.

I, Female (34) have been together with my husband, male (39) for almost 10 years, married for 8. His mother has always said hurtful and mean things to him, or to me, or acted very obviously that she does not like me - even before I met her.
We had always lived somewhere else, until 2 and a half years ago, moved to the same state they live in, due to my husband's job. She kept acting the same, if not worse. This time not just to me, but also to the kids.
Originally from Mexico, the tradition is that mother and daughter get ready together prior to the wedding (hair & make up), our wedding was petit committee, we did not have a lot of money back then, especially after going through the immigration process and fees to get my permanent residency.
Wedding was at the end of October, that summer, my father in law got laid off and even though we hadn't asked for their financial help for the wedding (we weren't going to anyway), my MIL called and said, sorry we cannot help. (?)
The day of the wedding, I went to a grocery store to get a bouquet of flowers, went back to the cabin to start getting ready, the hair and make up lady arrived and started working on me, my MIL nicely offered to put together my bouquet so I accepted and appreciated it. When I was done with hair and make up, it was my mom's turn. MIL said 'bouquet is ready on the table' and left. Did not think anything of it.
During our honeymoon, my husband told me that his mother, went to see him to the cabin where he was getting ready and she made a scene asking him if he was sure he wanted to marry me because I was the most selfish person she had ever seen. He had to spend a while trying to calm her down while I waited for him for our photos.
This upset me, because it made me realize that the feeling I had about her wasn't wrong, and a lot of things she had said and done up to that point finally made sense.
Although it did not affect me because like I said, we never lived close up until a couple of years ago, and everything turned about her, making her happy, complying with her rules, she does not respect my (our) parenting and does whatever she wants with my children whenever they are around them.
I celebrate Mexican Mothers day which is ALWAYS on May 10th. So on Friday my husband got me a weighed blanked that I have been wanting for a while, and said happy mothers day and said sorry I was writing you a letter but did not finish. Then we went on to find my favorite taco truck before we picked up the kids in the afternoon.
Yesterday, American's mothers day, MIL had planned a get together at a park to grill burgers and hang out. Cool. The thing is, I am working full time and I am in Grad school (both decisions made because my husband pushed me to do something for myself and said he would be 100% supportive). I had a lot of homework to get done yesterday, among other household chores I haven't kept up with lately.
On saturday, I took all day to work on things around our farm. It was hard work and overwhelming. I also reached out to him calmly and told him I wasn't comfortable going to the mother's day gathering, I wasn't comfortable being around his mother or his family in general for that matter. They have all excluded me from communications and pretty much it feels like I am not welcomed around them. I also had a lot of homework so I asked him to understand my position, that I didn't have to go, he could go with the kids. And he said I HAD to go, that it was only going to be 1.30hr max 2. Well it ended up being 5 hours away from home.
Before we left, he yelled at me in front of the kids, because I said, this is not about me it's about your mom, she is not my mom and I really don't have to go. He called me names, he said that I always complain about working, getting things done, that I don't do anything around the house and that I was the most inconsiderate person that it is all about me. Then when we were on our way to the park, stopped at a store to get burger patties, and he Yelled at me - in front of the kids and the whole store! that We should separate, that I am the one that has been pushing for this and that he is done with me, we will sell the farm and the other house and everything.
All this time I was crying and crying, I could not believe he was saying and doing this, especially in front of the kids, even though it wouldn't be the first time he's reacted like this.
I don't have any real friends here, I live far from my hometown in Mexico and I feel like he is being abusive emotionally and gaslighting me. I'm hurting, I don't deserve this, neither do my kids. I am not saying innocent at all, but I truly feel that I cannot talk to him because he gets angry or wants to change me to be a certain way that he would be able to deal with (?). I am scared of reaching out to him with personal feelings because of his reactions. He told me yesterday that he was done with me because he believes I am never going to change. Every time we argue he says I love you BUT __________. Really? Love should not be conditional like that.
I have a history of anxiety and depression, I started therapy a while ago along with meds and it's been a tremendous help.
Kids are Boy 16, Girls 6 & 4
Any advise? Suggestions? I'm truly heartbroken and don't know how to fix this.
TL;DR! - Marriage emotional abuse

I (f, 25) have this friend (f, 26) that I’ve know since elementary. We didn’t begin to be friends until eighth grade, though. We went to different high schools, but still managed to grow our friendship and became best friends. When it came time for dating, she chose questionable guys. And anytime there was a new boyfriend, i felt pushed in the back, hardly talked to, and when we did hang out, he ALWAYS had to be there. It was hard to hide my hurtness, so rather than fight, i just kind of let it happen.
Everytime she’d get a new boyfriend, i saw her mentality hidden, and she would become a whole different person. It’s like she would take on the personality/persona of the boyfriend at the time. And each boyfriend, slowly started to not like me overtime (i would have the feeling but then after every break up, she would also confirm it and would say she didnt know why). She started dating one guy, and i would catch her telling little lies to me and started really questioning everything. One day, i caught her in a lie around these new friends (all friends of her boyfriend) and i kind of snapped and we got into an arguement and i finally told her i couldnt do it anymore. We went about a year or so of not communicating.
We eventually started hanging out again, and it was like going back to the beginning. I truly missed it. But then her energy would feel off. It was like she was always trying to one up me, or make me feel jealous about things that really meant nothing to me. With every boyfriend, it was like she would tell me all this stuff theyd do for her, and downplay my boyfriend (even when i knew she was always fighting with her boyfriends). She would go on and on about how so-and-so was so amazing, and then when i would talk about my boyfriend, it’s like she wasnt really listening. It’d always come back to her boyfriend. If i ever had anything to say, it was always her one upping me. And it was still, even as adults, could never have one-on-one time together. Her boyfriend at the time would always have to be there.
Anyway, she started dating someone new in say, 2019. He was older and very out of character for her. He seemed like the nicest boyfriend she’s had, actually. Again, she started morphing into him. They moved in together within a handful of months. I started dating someone in 2020. We went on trips together and hung out, the four of us, often. My relationship was thriving- i was in love, we did not fight, we were always laughing and having fun (we’re now getting married soon!) Anytime she’d see something he’d do to/for me, she’d point it out to her boyfriend and say “see! “So and so does that for her!” He seemed to get annoyed really quick. Their bad times really outshined their good. They dated for four years? And especially towards the end, it was nonstop fighting. I hated that for her, and would try to give advice.
I then found out he would dangle marriage and kids over her head. He planned proposals (once i was somewhat involved in, several times, from what i heard, that i didnt know about) and then over the littlest of things, he would say to her “you know, i was going to propose to you (tonight/this day coming up), but you just ruined it for both of us.” I was appalled. All she had ever wanted was to be a wife and mom. She has self image issues from being overweight and little confidence. I kept urging her to end it because not only was she miserable, but who does that to a person!!!? I even found out that he did try ending things a couple times, but she would fight him on it and theyd stay together (dont ask me why.)
So i distanced myself again. I tried urging her to get maybe a therapist for herself, or to talk to her parents… Or anyone for that matter. I couldn’t continue to lot her lifestyle and poor choices around myself, and I know she needed me, but I tried as much as I could to help, and it went left unheard. When I got engaged, my fiancé was hesitant to reach out to them, and invite them to the engagement party that happened the night of. He left it up to me, which was smart of him. I texted her the news (immediately) and told her to come out and celebrate with us, it took her a while to text me back, but she ended up declining it, saying that her boyfriend did not like the place that we were going to. I was beyond hurt their relationship ended up ending a couple months after that.
About a month after their relationship ended he got a new girlfriend and within a few weeks, the new girlfriend was pregnant. I knew that crushed her because that’s all my friend ever wanted after about a month of finding out that his new girlfriend was pregnant. She got a new boyfriend that she met on the Internet no no disrespect I know people find each other that way, but she told me that she was on the Internet looking for a roommate not a boyfriend. They ended up being friends with benefits and my fiancé, and I met him a couple months into their Situationship. We both couldn’t believe how much him and the old boyfriend had in common. They were basically the same person except he is in his 30s and has five young kids.
Me and my friend basically drifted apart again, and from what I saw on line, she was basically taking over as a mother for these kids. I didn’t know that they were dating until the fall.
I just saw online this morning that he proposed to her yesterday, less than a year or knowing each othedating. I am happy for her, but my heart kind of sunk because the one time that I met him a year ago, I saw the same patterns of her, losing her self, and slowly morphing into him.
Now, my wedding shower is next week. I invited her because I knew that if I didn’t, she would come after me. I am inviting her parents and her to the wedding in a couple months. I had no intention of inviting her boyfriend because I only met him once and I know nothing about him. As shitty as it sounds, I was going to invite her to the wedding and then kind of cut ties. She is no longer somebody that I want or feel comfortable in my life. I know that her now fiance not being invited will cause another issue. I almost look at is as a blessing in disguise.
Shes told me countless times that id be her maid of honor (half because her sister distanced herself from her years ago because my friend (and ex boyfriend) both talked to and treated her poorly, and because from what i knew, was her only real friend. I dont feel comfortable standing up next to something that i know nothing about. After all the years of me and my life/accomplishments being diminished… I feel we arent even friends.
I guess… How do i go about this?

That's right. You didn't give me the gift of sight. No. Before, I wasn't blind, but now I can't see. I can not see how I can go a day without you. Don't kid yourself and let alone ask, life. I can't see, even with my best imagination, you... no longer being in my life.
What am I gonna do... You know what? Forget, what am I gonna do when you get married (*1). What am I gonna do right now? About the fact that when i try to assest my feelings it just literally feels like you're half of me that i don't have close by.
I'm complaining, not because I truly worry. I complain because as it stands...I WANT TO STAY FKING BLIND. Or is it...
... Is the truth actually that now I see? Because with my eyes closed, inside, i see the other half of me?
*1: i remember we brushed against the topic of marriage and you said "you better be taking the photos at my wedding"... And i said something like, "are you mad??? That's never gonna happen!" And when you asked why, i gave you a noticed silence. I wonder if you got what was going on there.
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
You are home to me, i found you to be. I do love you. That's why i never made a move. Sleeping next to my bed, in the hotel... I know there's a rush. But there is no rush when i know you're tied by string. I, we have nothing to be afraid of.
I'm truly for you, my love.

Our wedding florist was awful from start to finish. I should have trusted my instinct and not booked her, but here we are. She was local to where we got married and so friendly on the phone, plus her designs are lovely. But… her communication and service has been terrible, there were multiple errors in the proposal (such as number of bridesmaid bouquets being wrong) that I had to constantly reiterate and fix before we could agree.
A ton of things went wrong with our wedding flowers, and she’s withholding a sizeable refundable damage deposit.
Our venue decor - I had a specific idea in mind with our vessels and there wasn’t a feasible way to have a florist do this. so I asked for buckets. I let her know the number and size of vessels, the number of tables and told her how many stems I predicted we’d need. Not only were the “buckets” she provided small with less stems than needed, but a significant portion of the buds never opened. I flagged this with her on the day, she insisted there was enough and they’d open. Well, there wasn’t and we didn’t. We had to top these up with flowers from elsewhere to look presentable.
She got my bouquet wrong. The size and shape, plus she included foliage I asked explicitly not to have because of allergies.
Multiple personals were missing because she dumped them at the hotel reception and never told us, after arriving late that morning. We searched for these on the day. We weren’t able to flag them to her because she had arrived late and the ceremony was taking place in an hour by the time we realised things were missing.
We didn’t want to insult her work, so initially we weren’t going to raise any of this with her. But then she eventually responded to an email to say she was withholding the damage deposit. Apparently we’d damaged her brand by using other florals. She was rude about our decor, accused us essentially of being cheap and insulted the individual in our wedding party we’d assigned to take care of personals. She also refused to refund the personals, because she left them at reception.
I’m prepared to take this to court, leave negative reviews etc etc. but I have no desire to ruin her business or upset her, despite the huge disappointment of our wedding flowers.
We aren’t asking for compensation for the flowers that didn’t open, we haven’t asked for compensation for the bouquet she got wrong. We’ve just asked for a refund for the missing personals and for the damage deposit to be returned.
How do I explain to her without insulting her that her florals would’ve looked a lot worse without the top up flowers we used? If anything we’ve saved her business from looking bad!
How do we get her to see reason, so we can draw a line under this?
She hadn’t responded to our latest email so I suspect it’s going to drag out.

Looking for advice on how to best resolve this… for info, I’m based in the UK and using a throwaway for privacy reasons.
I reached out to a florist local to our venue, about 8 months before our wedding. She was difficult to get hold of, the website was under construction, she didn’t respond to emails and I had to chase. We finally arranged a meeting for a phone consultation and she missed that. We came very close to going with another florist but I really wanted to use someone local. Her designs were lovely and though she didn’t have a ton of reviews online, they were all positive.
She asked if we could rearrange our consultation in the new year because she was so swamped with work. I agreed. Unbeknownst to me, she was actually in the process of winding up her florist business on companies house and she moved to a new premise. I’m hopeful this doesn’t mean she’s trading illegally.
We have our initial consultation and I mention we wanted to use our own vessels for centrepieces. I ask if she’s comfortable supplying buckets for this - she says she is. She gives an estimate of buckets needed based on the number of vessels/tables. I tell her I expected we’d need about 10 stems per vessel of mixed flowers. I tell her I’m happy to go with a seasonal selection.
I tell her I want a small, teardrop shaped bouquet in my colour scheme. I ask specifically for two types of flowers and I am adamant I don’t want eucalyptus stems - it’s the one thing I ask not to have.
At this point, I ask for pricing for a top table centrepiece and for church flowers.
She gets back to me with the prices/proposal and we decide not to have her do church flowers or top table arrangement. I think this is probably relevant because I think she was hoping we’d spend a lot more than we did.
The proposal included my “petite” bouquet and the stems we discussed. We also got buttonholes, corsages and bridesmaids bouquets in addition to DIY buckets. The buckets don’t mention the number of stems, but I trust her judgement at this point. The cost came to £1000 approx.
In addition to this, she’d charged separately for “damage” which is a refundable deposit. she charged a separate fee for set up, and she charged a clearance fee. She also charged us separately for silks. I queried some of this, I wasn’t sure why we needed a damage deposit if we weren’t using any vessels of hers. She was pretty dismissive of this “oh I just have to include that as routine”. She said the set up fee reflected the work she put in to comparing the bouquets. I figured this was fine, though it meant my bouquet came to about £200 which felt a lot for a small bouquet.
At this point, the wedding is creeping up and I don’t want to have to start searching for another florist, though I’m feeling uneasy.
We go ahead with her. On the day of set up, my face drops when I see the “buckets” she’s gotten us. They are tiny, have about 20 stems and a portion of the stems aren’t even open. I flag this at the shop, but I’m reassured that they’ll open.
Well we set up, and it’s obvious we barely have enough flowers, and if we don’t use the unopened ones we definitely don’t have enough.
Our florist has now shut her shop to attend another wedding. So we have to rush to a supermarket to get more flowers. The closed buds never did open.
So crisis averted.
Except the morning of the wedding, it’s coming up to my turn to get my hair and makeup done and there’s no sign of the florist. I call her and she assures me she’s on her way, but she doesn’t turn up until an hour later.
At this point, I’m mid getting ready. I tell the florist to take the buttonholes to the grooms suite.
Well, she doesn’t do this. She gives some of the buttonholes to groomsmen she passes in the hallway then dumps the remaining ones at reception desk. She doesn’t tell any of us this is where they are. They never turn up, so some of our party miss out on florals.
My bouquet is nothing like I asked. It’s pretty big, not teardrop shaped, the stems are showing and not wrapped. Silks are missing from bridesmaids bouquets. She’s included eucalyptus in my bouquet.
All of the above was really upsetting and pretty disappointing. I get past it because I’m over the moon to be getting married. But I feel really let down.
We decide not to flag this all to her. Instead we just mention the missing items.
She comes back to tell us she’s keeping the damage deposit because we topped up the DIY flowers and thus caused her business damage. She’s refusing to refund the buttonholes and she has no explanation for the missing silks other than “this has never happened before”.
Worse, she blames us. She says we didn’t have an allocated person for florals (we did, she just brought them to the wrong place). She accuses us of cutting corners, essentially being cheap and short changing her.
We send a polite but frank email about our disappointment with the florals and detail the above. She hasn’t responded yet but honestly, I’m dreading it, because I don’t expect a pleasant response.
I already felt my bouquet lacked any real effort or personalisation to me. Her attitude and actions have confirmed it. I wanted to move past this, but by withholding our deposit she’s brought the floral fiasco to the forefront of my mind and it’s something we now have to think back on and relay back to her. She’s been rude about the set up, and insinuated we’ve been cheap (I expect she’s disappointed we didn’t spend more) and it’s made me feel bad about our table settings and decor.
I’m expecting that we’ll have to consider court action against her, which is complicated by the fact the business she’s trading under is now listed as inactive on companies house. I suspect there’s more going on behind the scenes, as she’s started to get bad reviews on her flowers as of the last two months.
Obviously though, I don’t want to go down this route. We aren’t asking for compensation or refunds for the flowers, just for the ones that went missing. We just want our refundable deposit back (she also charged a clean up fee but it was us who cleaned up).
Looking for advice on how to reason with her. Obviously supermarket flowers aren’t as good quality as florist flowers, but I don’t know how to politely point out to her that they look better than vases full of unopened buds and the closed buds would reflect much more poorly on her business and reputation than some supermarket roses.
TL:DR how to convince our florist to give a refundable damage deposit back, when she messed up our wedding florals then blamed us for having to use alternatives

Hello and good day sainyong lahat,
I have a legal question I'd like to ask. Input would be greatly appreciated.
My mother had a boyfriend from 2019 to December 2022. My mother really loved this guy, and she was planning on even settling down with him eventually. Around August 2022, he bought her a car. The car is entitled to her, and she has full legal ownership of it. There is no legal document that states for how long she could keep it or if she must return it to him under any condition.
In December 2022, he broke up with her out of the blue. He also demanded that, by the end of 2023, we'd have to return the car he bought to him. My mother was heartbroken at the time and couldn't eat or sleep right for months. Another thing we found out is that shortly after their cutting of ties, he had a new Filipina girlfriend whom he posted on social media.
Earlier today, he sent a message that if we don't give him the car soon, he'll report us to Tulfo. The only evidence he possesses is that my mother agreed to give him the car back in their online chat back in 2023.
Must we surrender the car to him?

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