Like, everything is all about EV which is very bitter-sweet. Some of them look very cool but I dislike how it seems EV’s have been getting a lot of lee-way when it comes to regulations just because they’re electric cars. One of the most infamous examples at the moment is how the cyber truck has pedal failures and pretty much barely any crumple zones which is scary.
And you see some EV’s that don’t really make sense when they would work out far better as hybrids? Like the new Volkswagen buzz looks amazing but for a travel van, it’s limited to just running on electricity.
Also my biggest annoyance is the standardization of all car designs now looking similar to one another which is upsetting because it loses individuality and creativity.
Another great concern is the decline of the quality of all these newer cars. So many of them break after a while and aren’t up to standard but yet keep getting more and more expensive. It’s upsetting and it’s why older cars are getting more appreciated in value.
These are just my thoughts at the moment especially as someone who’s trying to look at cooler new vehicles, especially the sports kind. I want the retro styles back and the revival of American muscle cars :(

Left a vibrator in my ass for over an hour synced to music while my balls and dick were tied. While being tied and vibrated, I unpacked and did laundry. I was so hard and leaking precum, had to keep eating it so I wouldn't make a mess while I sat naked and looked at some of my favorite porn. My vibrator felt so good, randomly getting intense with the beat of the music on each new song. It also hurt my butt as it was tight and making it sore being left in there for so long. The battery eventually died, and I wasn't done looking at my favorite porn, so I pulled it out and put a dildo inside instead. The dildo was bigger, but felt great since it was the shape of a cock. Left that in there for over an hour as well. Eventually, I ran out of porn to look at and didn't hear back from the guy that always makes me horny, so I jerked off until I cummed. It felt so good, but then I had to get the dildo out of my sore butt. After, I deleted all the pictures I took because I had nobody to share them with.

I am a 26-year-old fit male (178cm, ~70kg, do calisthenics, wall climbing, running regularly, not drinking, not smoking, not on any medications) having issues with a bounding pulse. I have a normal heart rate (~50 when sleeping, 60-80 during the day, 187 was the largest I have measured during running) and normal blood pressure (110/70, sometimes it goes slightly over 120, which is "elevated"), but, for more than a year, I can feel and see my pulse when resting.
How it started: More than a year ago, I was really stressed. Many things added up, including family issues, a lot of work to do, finishing exams for the master's, starting a PhD, I was not sure what career path to choose, and preparing for my first public speech at a conference was also frustrating. That was the time when it started. I started to notice my heartbeat when resting, and then, at meetings, when I had to pay attention to others, I was entirely distracted by my heartbeat. I felt it mainly in my temple and neck. The strongest pulsation was the night before my conference presentation. I had a flight at night and arrived at my apartment, but there was no receptionist. As it turned out, there was an automatic check-in system, but my department (who booked the accommodation) forgot to forward me the email and the code. It was hard to reach anyone at night, but the awkward situation was solved after an hour. In addition, I was already nervous because I had never been to a conference, had never had to do small talk in English, or had never given a presentation to a lot of people in English. That night, I had difficulties falling asleep. All I could hear was my heartbeat, and the pounding in my temple was the strongest I had ever felt, which, of course, also increased my nervousness. Since then, although not that profound, I feel my heartbeat when resting.
After a while, I started to feel the pulse in my chest and some arrhythmias as well. I went to my GP, who sent me to a cardiologist. They were not really concerned about the pounding heartbeat, only the arrhythmias. My heart rate and blood pressure were normal, and the echocardiography and electrocardiography showed nothing. Then I had a Holter monitoring and had some NSVTs near bedtime that I could feel precisely. I was told to take magnesium, which made sense as I exercise regularly, and I always had muscle twitching basically all over my body. Since I take magnesium supplements, the arrhythmias and muscle twitching are gone, so I consider this matter closed.
I did some blood tests but found nothing worrying. As always, my total cholesterol and LDL are around the top, while the HDL is around the bottom threshold of the acceptable region. I have also checked for lipoA and apoB, as strokes have appeared among my ancestors, but they were also in the normal range. My morning serum cortisol was slightly elevated (789.4 nmol/L). My TSH was also slightly elevated (6.840 mIU/L), while free T3 and T4 levels were normal (which might be subclinical hypothyroidism, but I do not show the other symptoms).
This year was much less stressful. I tried to pay attention to not be anxious (I even started to meditate, although it did not go well, as all I could focus on when I calmed down and closed my eyes was my heartbeat). However, I can feel my pulse bounding ever since. (maybe it always was, but I have never attended to it before)

• I feel it in my chest, neck, and head (sometimes in my temple, sometimes in my eyes as well).
• It is the strongest after I wake up, before I go to bed, or when I am resting in general.
• Sometimes, during sports, I feel high pressure in my head in specific positions (handstand or back lever, but even in less demanding positions such as the child pose in yoga) when my head is below or in line with my center of mass.
• It is also visible. For example, when I lie down, the pulsation is clearly visible in my chest and stomach (even when standing, but not that strong). I can also see it in the mirror on my neck. When I dive into the water, my heartbeat generates concentric waves starting from my chest (especially after diving into cold water after the sauna).

Do you have any ideas about what can be behind this? Maybe stress, something with my TSH, or perhaps all of it is normal, but I started to attend to it after my arrhythmias.

Please bear in mind that these thoughts really only apply to RetCa Starscythe units, I just can't really explain that in a title!
This is because I think the comparison might be a bit more complicated than most people seem to realise due to the fact Farsight can use 'The Arro'kon Protocol' on his unit every turn, for free. To save you looking it up in case you can't remember;
"Until the end of the [shooting] phase, each time a model in your [battlesuit] unit makes an attack that targets an enemy unit that contains 6 or more models, that attack has the [SUSTAINED HITS 1] ability. If that attack targets an enemy unit that contains 11 or more models, it has the [SUSTAINED HITS 2] ability instead."
Alright, cool. Weirdly, my first thought wasn't Starscythes but in fact Fireknives because they like firing into big, healthy units and they get rerolls so you're gonna hit a lot of shots pretty reliably. Seemed to make sense but after some pondering I decided that too much of the appeal of Fireknives is their 'mid-strength weapon' versatility. They can play a bit of the resource management efficiency game with the 30" range and rerolls but if the moment calls for it, you can zip up into Bonded Heroes range and lay down some slightly higher than expected damage. Or fire up the Starflare Ignition System and peace out to the backline to cause trouble. To me that sounds a lot more fun and probably actually better than fishing for 6s while Farsight spends his time popping his stratagem repeatedly, waving his sword around a bit and turn by turn, slowly losing his erection.
Ok but Farsight of course enjoys his time amongst the new frontlining Starscythes so the original point of this post was to think about whether a 235pt burst cannon unit pumping out 24 S6AP-2 sus2 +1 to wound, rerolling all the 1s can compare to what the commanders offer. I'll exclude drones because I have to because I'm not that smart.
Assuming S. Suits are helping I think you average about 27 hits and you're gonna be wounding anything up to T5 on 2s, rerolling the 1s. Ok. Seems pretty good to me. Asking kindly for a 10man+leader unit to take 25 AP-2 saves sounds like something I'd enjoy. Good chance they fail 16 and they don't like it. And it's still 15-16 wounds on a 6man T6 unit which at AP-2 will often mean 3 dead chunky 3W models and sometimes 4.
Ok now imagine a (260pts) Coldstar-led team zooming across the battlefield to get within 6", dropping a few mortals on a few heads on the way over. It's nice to think about. I'm just gonna go with flamers because I think the overwatch threat is substantial enough when you're up close to justify them so 9 flamers is gonna be 31ish hits with S5 AP-2. If you're rich enough in observer units to guide with S. Suits you might earn an extra 3 wounds here vs T3/4 but for me part of the appeal of the flamers is that you can put a marker drone on the Shas'vre/Commander and spot during the turns you're usually wishing you didn't have to engage all of your spotters in frantic, sacrificial move blocking.
So with the Coldstar it's roughly 20-23 wounds vs T3/4, 15-17 vs T5 at AP-2 and that's excluding the HOBC completely. Already pretty decent but we must also try to weigh this units high independence, overwatch threat, mobility, and ability to dish out mortal wounds (and no I haven't forgotten about the fabled Farsight tank shock but to be honest I don't have much of an idea about how good it is in actuality this edition so I just sort of feel unable to add this in to the equation. That's on me.).
The damage would be slightly less on an Enforcer but then of course you get to save points and you get his lovely durABILITY. And does it even matter that you can't zoom when you can use the tiny blade to get 3" inside of them? Does anyone else just picture a 3" inch knife when you think of 'The Shortened Blade' because of your inability to not think about the rules for a moment? Because I can't not picture a 3" inch blade and it irritates me because it looks pathetic in my mind's eye. Now is the time to speak up if you share my pain. But anyway the Enforcer just seems very delicious in this type of plan given that we have amazing access to the deep and important areas of the board. You know .. Could it just be that worsening incoming AP on a unit that really needs to be killed is just really fucking good when the nearby enemy infantry can't move a muscle without getting completely cooked? I really would implore anyone who doesn't think this codex is strong or fun to keep reading and stay curious.
If anyone has any insights or thoughts I'd sincerely like to hear them as I feel that a lot of this conversation thus far has come down to more guns is better. Something which is admittedly true for us most of the time. Hopefully no matter what you think you can see this is a pretty good example of nice internal balance. Perhaps Firesight can't match up to the Commanders on the top, top level of the game (but perhaps he can?!) but I think clearly his access to free Arro'kon Protocols make him a real punchy threat on top of what is already a cool looking, versatile-ish, 8W 2+/4++ utility leader.
To the one Shas'O that read the whole thing, thanks, but get back to work. Your boss has noted this is your third extended toilet break of the morning and he is on the brink of offering you unsolicited dietary advice.

Hi, why do I have sudden uncontrollable severe muscle jerks? I’d be sitting up in a chair or lying in bed (not trying to fall asleep or anything, just simply lying there), and the jerks are so sudden and strong that it sends me launching forward or arching off of the bed.
The jerks mostly happen on my back but sometimes can occur on the right side of my body as well, and I have absolutely no control over it.
It started when I was 13F, and was really severe for a while that I’m too scared to go about my daily life and can barely fall asleep because the jerks can happen any time and it’s not a small jerk, they’re really big ones that literally send me arching off of the bed etc. 135 lbs
What’s the problem and what might have caused it? How do I mitigate this?

I (23 FTM) have multiple chronic illnesses, both physical and mental, that prevent me from really doing anything. When I’m not having panic attacks, I’m having horrible muscle spasms or my back is in so much pain that my legs give out. I either forget to take care of myself, or when I remember, I don’t have the physical and/or mental capacity to complete the most basic tasks. I rely on my fiancé to assist me with everything as my family, whom we are living with, doesn’t think I need the support. On top of helping me bathe, getting me something to eat, or reminding me to use the bathroom, my fiancé works full time. The entire time he is at work I am stuck in the same spot most of the day until he gets home. As a result he is constantly exhausted with no time to himself, and has a very minimal social life.
I’m too disabled to work, but not disabled enough for assistance. I’ve been denied three times. I have no insurance currently as we can’t afford it. I’m supposed to be going to free clinics in my town for both medical and mental health, but the medical clinic closed down, which stopped me from getting my meds. No more meds, I can’t leave the house, as I was already having a hard time going out while taking them. My therapist kept canceling and missing our zoom appointments and I had to find out two days before my last scheduled appointment that I had to have an earnings statement from the DoL to continue seeing her. I can only get this done in person.
It’s been two months, I’m unsure how I’m supposed to get anything done when my fiancé is only off on one weekday, I have massive panic attacks just stepping on the porch, and I can’t walk for more than like two minutes. I need more support than he can give and neither of us know what to do. Does anyone else know what we should do?

How I keep weight on me and do back-to-back fasting?
When I do back-to-back extended fasts I go into a fasted state into a feasting state. I rapidly gain weight back from water weight, body density, muscle strength, etc. I break the fasts in different ways. Though, I prefer to break it healthy or with fruits or vegetables. Sometimes I break it with conventional foods like snacks or a microwavable vegan meal. It also depends on the fast as well. If it was a pure dry fast the whole way through then I'm breaking mostly on fruits then later some vegetables. I find it easy to gain weight back. I tend to feast on different foods. A lot of vegetables with some favorite snack foods like chips and one carby meal. Along with more snack foods like packages of cashews and some sweet snacks with not too much sugar in them.
Then my feasting window may go longer than I would like it. Then I'll move to eating pizza and plant-based burgers, potato wedges etc. So, just a lot of carbs and snacks.
The snacks really add a lot of calories very quickly. At the moment I am probably around 184lbs. After ended those back to back fasts I was probably about 181lbs. Before the start of those fasts I estimated I weighed around 195lbs. During the breaks and refeed periods I get back to working out. Full body workouts, machines weights and leg workout and cardio at the track. Carbs plus working out adds a lot of weight rapidly. Usually, after working out I start eating and I eat all night long. I'm eating something once I finish the meal, I am then snacking for the rest of the night. Along with lots of water. That adds a lot of water weight as well. All of which comes off in the first 2 days of the next fast.
Now, doing back-to-back extended fastings ultimately is reducing my weight as my overall net fat loss continues to trend downward despite feasting on refeeds. Because it's a lot of fasting. More fasting then eating basically. According to a friend 145lbs would be my weight at very low body fat percentage at 3-4% body fat levels. So, with that figure I can estimate I'm carrying about 40lbs of fat including water weight and body density, food contents. Without the dramatic weight loss in the beginning of the fast then probably around 25lbs of pure fat at this very moment. Although, at this moment my goal is not to keep lots of weight on me. I will allow my weight to trend downward to a normal body weight of 170lbs. If I wanted to keep weight then eating and feasting a lot more on carbs would do it.
How I maintained weight by living off almost exclusively an 80-90% vegetable diet along with back-to-back dry fasting for nearly an entire year of 2018?
I lived on this diet for nearly 3 years from 2017-2020. Yes, this diet really has a lot of benefits. First, there were no messy bowel movements. There was no smell. No stinky smell. Nothing. It's a diet filled with a lot of fiber. And there's very little concentration of any macronutrients. I received a lot of some nutrients but, it was slow absorption because of the large amount of fiber in the diet. I allowed myself to eat only 10g of sugar in a snack food. I barely had any conventional sugar. Sometimes, wheat bread or some variation of breads I ate outside of eating vegetables. That was as worst as my diet was during those 3 years. No meats. No cheese, no dairy, no eggs. Just vegetabes with a small amount of fruit. These vegetable mostly consisted of steamed or boiled cruciferous vegetables such as cauliflower, broccoli, brussel sprouts, and carrots, potatoes. Leafy greens, tomatoes, cucumbers, pickles, olives, string beans and salads with no sauces. Every now and then I might eat a very expensive small personal vegan pizza made out of cauliflower, vegan cheese and vegetables.
With a diet like that you would think it would be hard to maintain weight. Initially, I lost weight. Once I reached around 170-175lbs in back to back fastings. During my eating I normally feasted a few hours a day on these foods. I counted the calories and I always reached 2000 or more calories in eating. During two back to back water fasts is where I lost most of my weight from 195lbs to 178lbs. The water fasts were 13 days then followed by a 9 day fast.
Every other fasts were hard and soft dry. I was doing on average 2 extended dry fasts a month of 5-9 days then followed by 5-9 days of eating during the whole year of 2018. I feasted as much as I could every day. I probably gained 2-3lbs or more fat back.
With that diet there was very little detoxing during the first 7 days. Most of life just felt physically normal in the first 6 days of dry fasting. My body was highly adapted to it and it was as easy as driving. I never struggled with any detox, pain symptoms, fatigue, withdrawal effects. nothing. Only going to 7 days did I began to release a lot of toxins and things started dying when hitting that wall. The second crises. I never really broke through it.
I eventually reached around 168 - 170lbs. Like I said, your weight eventually trends downward with all of the fasting even though I feasted on buffets of foods. If you're naturally underweight then you would probably want to add a lot of water weight on a healthy diet or a conventional healthy carb diet through feasting. Along with weight training adding muscle seems to traps more weight on the body as well. Most people deal with being overweight in that case stick to high water content vegetables, workouts and 1 carb meal along with an abundance of vegetables and water to refeed in back to back extended dry fasts.

This one is kinda a joke, but also very real. Discussing effects of HRT CW/ Mentions my buttocks
I have been on testosterone for about 6 months now, and I have noticed a few changes. Stuff I like, such as a deeper voice and more muscle mass, but also something I didn’t expect. I used to have a nice peach, a badankadonk, a top notch tush. But, sadly, after starting T I have noticed a drop in mass on my back end. Truly a sad day. This is not a bad thing per say, but today I had to say good bye to my banging booty 😔
This doesn’t happen to everyone, but it happened to me and I haven’t seen many people talk about it. I’m kind of wondering if anyone else has noticed this change, and if so was it a surprise like it was for me. Personally, I really dont mind the change, I found it kind of funny actually in my personal experience, but it may be something to consider as a possible change for those looking to start HRT.

I just feel like I’m going crazy and I need some advice. My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years.
I will try and give as much relevant background as possible so people can fairly weigh in.
I (23M) am a law school student, and I lost a decent amount of weight and muscle during finals season.
Today, my girlfriend (25F) showed me a topless picture of myself from when I had gained a lot of muscle from hitting the gym, and was sort of lamenting that she missed how I looked. It kind of stung, especially when she knows all I have been through with the stresses of finals and school.
As some background, I have always struggled to gain weight (started at about 145 at the beginning of our relationship. I am just over 6ft). My girlfriend continually voiced her wanting me to gain weight, and I continually failed to form a regular gym schedule for quite a while. This one is completely on me. But last year, I forced myself to eat WAY more and began exercising more regularly. By winter break, I got to 160 pounds and it was a big accomplishment for me.
Unfortunately, I basically lost 7-10 pounds during second semester law school finals (just finished thank God). For those who don’t know law school finals are no joke, and you really need to start working your ass off from about a month out at a minimum. I spent every hour I wasn’t at school or commuting at my desk studying and making outlines. Especially during the last few weeks, I began taking my ADHD medication almost every day. (This can also contribute to weight loss). She knows all of this. She also knows I’m working so hard to give us a better future.
For someone who is already skinny and has almost 0 body fat, 7-10 pounds is really noticeable - especially in my chest and arms.
When she lamented on my past figure, this honestly really stung since I’ve been really unhappy about it myself. Since I’m applying to law-related summer jobs basically every waking hour I’m not spending time doing activities with her, I still haven’t had the time to go to the gym.
When we walked the dog after dinner, she commented on my posture. It admittedly sucks I look like a less extreme version of the “golden ratio” or whatever. She has also been telling this t me for forever, but I just can’t get the good posture to stick. I think it’s fair that she’s really pissed about repeatedly telling me this for 3 years.
I jokingly asked why she’s being so mean today, and she asked for examples.
When I brought up the issue with the picture, I told her that “it made me feel not so good”. While I didn’t expect an apology, she refused to really even acknowledge why this would hurt my feelings, and instead brought up that she was mad to see me lose some progress. I told her to put herself in my shoes, and we continued to have this back and forth for about another 10 minutes or so until we got home. Finally, she said she was sorry - in what came across as a really half assed and not heartfelt apology.
When I mentioned that her apology didn’t mean much when she argued with me about it for 10 minutes, she got mad at me.
I tried to explain that all I wanted was for her to be a little more light-handed with her wanting me to gain weight, but that her “apologizing” so late and half-assed just made me hurt more. She wouldn’t even acknowledge that her apology was late.
I tried putting her in my shoes by saying what if she gained weight and I started lamenting over her past skinner version. She then got even more mad since she says I ask her to “put herself in my shoes” during every argument. I guess I do.
It took her 30 minutes of arguing for her to admit that her apology was late. She says that she was still mad about my posture and wasn’t thinking clearly or something along those lines.
To me - with both the apology and the argument about the apology - it feels like she was just refusing to admit any wrongdoing, even when I think she knew “what she did wrong” (from my perspective). I told her this, and she got even more mad at me.
Am I just being sensitive here? Was I just arguing about something dumb like she seems to think?
I just wanted to feel heard, and for her to acknowledge that she could have been nicer.
Please rip some sense into me if I’m just being dumb.

Last night, when I was home alone, a hand reached out from under the couch and grabbed me.
Nobody was there to see it, and nobody that I’ve told believes me, but it definitely happened. It’s not the kind of thing you can just imagine, and I’m sure now that it wasn’t a dream.
I was watching TV when it happened. The remote fell under the couch and I started fishing around for it without really looking, not wanting to get up from my seat. I brushed it with the tips of my fingers and it slid further underneath.
I was super annoyed— I had to get down on my knees to reach it. I finally found the remote, and that’s when it grabbed me.
As I pulled the remote out into the light, a hand shot up from under the couch and wrapped its fingers around my wrist.
I was able to yank myself away quickly. It didn’t hold on tight— just enough that I felt a little resistance. I jumped to my feet, obviously terrified.
I didn’t scream or anything. I was honestly too scared to even make a sound. My heart was beating so fast that my ears started to ring. The TV was still going, commercials droning on while I tried to process what had just happened.
The hand had only come out about a foot from under the couch. It had an arm attached to it, though I wasn’t able to see past its elbow, and it slinked back below the couch as soon as I pulled myself free from its grasp.
It didn’t hurt, and it didn’t leave any sort of bruise or mark or anything on my wrist, but I definitely felt it, and I definitely saw it.
All I could do was stare at the spot where the hand had appeared. I stood there for what felt like an eternity, until I heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps right outside my front door.
I live in a second-story apartment. It’s a pretty cramped place and a pretty old building, so whenever someone comes over I can usually hear footsteps from the moment they enter the building downstairs.
I guess I was so freaked out by the hand that I didn’t even notice someone was outside until they were already opening the door.
My roommate walked in on quite a scene. She immediately registered how off the vibe was. I could see it on her face.
She found me standing upright in the middle of our living room, TV remote in hand, facing away from the screen while Full House’s laugh track filled the air. I’m sure I’d think it was odd too.
“Hey…” she said, shifting a paper bag full of groceries in her arm while she pocketed her keys, “You good?”
I felt like I was caught with my pants down, but just seeing a familiar face brought some of the blood back to my fingers.
“N—yeah,” I stuttered. I came back online, and flicked the TV off.
I felt her eyes on me as she walked over to the kitchen. There’s no wall or anything dividing the two rooms. Like I said, the place is pretty cramped.
She started putting her groceries away as if everything was normal, but I could tell she wanted to ask what was up.
I kept looking back and forth between her and the couch. I can’t explain it, but I already knew that if I looked under there, I wouldn’t find any trace of whoever (or whatever) grabbed me.
As she started loading up the fridge, I dropped to my hands and knees once again. Without taking even a second to ready myself, I brought my head down to the ground and looked under the couch.
Nothing.
Pretty much what I expected. There was barely enough room for me to squeeze my arm under there for the remote. No way a whole person could fit beneath that thing, and even if they could, there’s no way I wouldn’t have seen them or heard them or something before they grabbed me.
“Seriously, what’s up?”
I looked up to see my roommate standing right behind me, arms crossed, clearly concerned.
I knew I was acting strange, and I knew that nothing I would come up with in the next five seconds could possibly excuse my behavior. I made a judgement call, honestly not really caring about how it would be received.
“I uh… something grabbed me earlier.”
“What?”
“Under the couch. I dropped the remote, and when I picked it up, a hand reached out from under the couch and grabbed me.”
Took her a second to respond.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“That’s it. A hand reached out and grabbed me by the wrist. It happened like a minute before you got here.”
That part might have been a lie. I actually have no idea how long I had been standing in the middle of the room before she showed up.
“Wait so like someone broke in?”
“No. It’s just like I said. A hand reached out, grabbed me, and then it was gone.”
She just kinda looked at me for a while. I don’t blame her, but it’s not like there was any way for me to sugarcoat it.
“Are you sure?”
“What do you mean ‘am I sure?’ Yes, yes I’m fucking sure!”
My voice broke a little when I said that. I was still down on my knees, like I was praying for her to believe me.
“Okay well obviously that didn’t happen Sam.”I let out a desperate laugh and threw my hands up in the air. I slapped them down on my thighs dramatically and shook my head in exasperation.
“Yeah obviously it sounds fucking crazy but you asked what happened and that’s what happened. I don’t know how else to describe it. I’m just being honest.”
I pulled myself up to my feet and walked around to the armrest of the couch. She kept studying me, probably thinking this was all a prank or something.
“What are you doing?” She asked, arms still glued across her chest.
“I’m checking under the couch.”
I pushed one end of the couch away from the wall. It was pretty heavy, and the coffee table stopped me from moving it too far. I dragged the coffee table towards the TV to free up some space.
My roommate started staring at the spot I was clearing as if she expected to see something there too.
I went back over to the armrest.
“Can you help me?”
She snapped out of her trance and silently went to grab the other side. We pulled the couch away from the wall, revealing a thick rectangle of dust that had not seen the light of day since we moved in a year ago.
I dropped to my knees once more and began wiping away the grime with my bare hands. There was nothing but the floorboards beneath it. No surprise.
I sat there for a second, eyes darting around the floor. No fingerprints in the dust, no scratches or marks or anything. I felt the tension in the room dissipate as my roommate found her voice again.
“I think you must have imagined it.”
I didn’t. There’s no way.
“Dude, no. I felt it and I saw it. Clear as day. It was a hand, and it grabbed me. That’s not the sort of thing you can just imagine.”
She scoffed, any fear left in her giving way to frustration.
“Whatever. This is fucking stupid. I’m going to bed.”
She stomped off towards her room.
“Wait.”
She spun on her heels as I stood up, probably expecting me to tell her I was joking about the whole thing.
“Can you help me flip the couch over?”
She rolled her eyes.
“Sure. But I’m not helping you put it back.”
She helped me lift the couch off of its legs and tilt it onto its front cushions, exposing the fabric underneath. She disappeared into her room and I went to work studying the underside of the sofa.
There was a zipper lining the bottom, but I found nothing inside when I opened it up. Just a hollow wooden frame and a bunch of crumbs.
I sat back against the wall, more tired than scared at that point.
I can’t believe she thinks I’m making this up. Why would I even do that? What purpose would it serve?
As I solemnly went about rebuilding our living room, I decided that the next day (today) I was gonna take off work, wait for her to leave, and really get to the bottom of this.
I didn’t sleep at all last night. Every nook and cranny of my room felt like a door left wide open, with something sinister waiting on the other side.
What if the hand comes back? What if it wants to hurt me next time? How can I even protect myself?
After like ten restless minutes in bed, I decided to move to the floor. I couldn’t help it. I kept imagining the hand reaching up from under the bed and grabbing me again.
I made a makeshift sleeping bag out of my comforter and some pillows, and I laid on my side so I could keep an eye on the underside of my bedframe while I slept. Maybe “slept” isn’t the right word. Even down there, I couldn’t bring myself to close my eyes for longer than a minute.
Eventually sunlight began to peek through the blinds, and I heard some movement within the apartment. My roommate was finally up. I heard the front door close, and it was time to get to work.
I nearly threw my back out yanking the couch away from the wall to reveal the floorboards underneath. They aren’t real floorboards, just the kind of cheap-o fake shit they put in crappy houses to make them look more modern. Our whole apartment is like that— a thin coat of paint slapped over an old building from the 40s or whatever.
My dad actually owns this building. He lets me and my roommate stay here as long as we pay him $500 a month, which is way cheaper than most places in my area.
It’s not really an apartment building to be honest. You can tell it used to be a family home before some realtor swooped in and broke it up into apartments. There are a lot of those around here.
Anyway, the fake wood came up easy. It was only about a quarter inch thick. I was able to pull up the first plank by hammering a kitchen knife into a slit between the boards, and then I peeled a few more away by hand.
After prying away about a dozen of these fake floorboards, I started to realize that I wasn’t going to find anything without making a significantly larger dent. Right beneath the thin layer of fake wood was a layer of very real, very thick wooden beams that seemed to span well beyond the hole I had managed to claw open.
My back crackled and popped as I sat back on my heels to admire my handiwork and contemplate where to go from there. I knew I would need a power saw or some kind of heavy duty tool to get any deeper, but I was afraid of two things:

1. That these beams were supporting the entire second floor of the building, and cutting through them would make the whole thing collapse
2. That going any deeper would lead me into the ceiling of the apartment below us, and whoever lives there would call my dad before I could see what I needed to see.

Regardless of the risks, I knew I had to keep going. I was certain that something was down there. Whatever grabbed me had to have left some sort of evidence.
I can’t stop thinking about that fucking hand.
I’m not supposed to have it, but my dad gave me a master key for the whole building in case of emergencies. He could really get in trouble if anyone found out, but if this isn’t an emergency then idk what is.
There’s a service shed around the back of the building, which has seen none of the love that the main building saw when it was renovated. Decades worth of rusty antiques and rotting furniture line the walls. A shiny, modern tool bench sits unnaturally in the middle of the chaos.
I rifled through all of that shit as fast as I could. I’m not really close with my dad all things considered, and I’m sure he’d be super pissed if he found me out there. He’s so secretive about random shit all the time, and he’s constantly dropping by the building unannounced.
I found the jigsaw under a pile of old newspapers and ran back upstairs.
I probably should have checked the driveway to see if anyone was home first, because the saw made so much noise. The cord barely reached from the outlet to the spot where the couch used to be, but as awkward as the angle was, I was still able to get it in there.
I went as small as possible with my first few cuts. I started with a single beam, cutting out a section about 6x6 inches wide. I slid the chunk of wood out, and, to my relief, didn’t immediately see the plaster that would be my downstairs neighbor’s ceiling.
A tuft of insulation stuck out where I made the hole. I didn’t know that stuff is made from fiberglass or whatever, and I got a really bad splinter when I went to yank it out.
I fished some leather gloves out of my roommate’s closet and got to work on the insulation. I pulled and pulled but couldn’t get a good enough grip to remove anything more than a few bits about the size of a tennis ball.
I went back in with the jigsaw, cutting bigger and bigger chunks until I had cleared a hole about two feet in diameter.
No sign that I was gonna bring the building down, that’s good.
I hacked away for hours. More wood came up, more insulation came up, and when I finally hit a fragile-looking layer of drywall, I knew the jig was up. That’s definitely my neighbor’s ceiling. Fuck.
My roommate and I got in a screaming match when she got home. I made a pretty big mess but I don’t really give a fuck honestly.
I don’t give a fuck if she believes me. I fucking hate that bitch. I told her if she tells my dad what I’m doing, I’ll bash her brains in with the hammer. That shut her up. She left with a bag full of her clothes like an hour later.
Tomorrow I’m going to wait for our downstairs neighbor to leave and start investigating from the bottom-up. If there wasn’t any evidence on the floor up here, there HAS to be something on the ceiling down there.
If I do find something, I’ll post again. I doubt anyone will even believe me, but at this point I just want everything written down somewhere accessible in case something bad happens.
There has to be something down there. Something grabbed me. And I’m going to find out what it is.

Hey all, hope you're all well. As the title implies, I am quite unwell and may not have much longer on this earth. Hence asking this question, despite it being asked over and over, because I have quite unique requirements.
TLDR: Which duffel suits me best, for 1-2 week trips, out of the 40L Patagonia, 55L Patagonia, or 71L North Face (or smaller North Face), given that this may be my final trip, and given that money is tight due to medical treatments etc?
At the moment, I own several Evergoods backpacks and slings. I also own (or semi-own, shared with my partner) an old-style, bright red, plasticky-looking Patagonia Black Hole duffel in 55L (I hate the colour and look of it, only got it as it was like $100 USD off). Other than that, I just have a medium-size American Tourister suitcase.
Anyway, long story short, I'd like to get a new duffel. Part of it is that I've always hated the shiny look of the Patagonia duffels - no longer an issue with this 2024 update. But it has annoyed me for years, our bright red Patagonia 😡
It would be used primarily for trips 1-2 weeks long, naturally sometimes just a weekend trip, pretty much always domestically. I'm someone who struggles to pack smartly and minimally - especially in winter. So that's something to consider, but I'm getting back into it, meaning the whole "minimalist" carrying thing.
I would largely have the ability to wash my clothes on the go. It would need to fit: probably enough clothes for five days, including business shoes + a toiletries/dopp kit (using an Evergoods CAP2 for this) + a medicines kit (have a number of health issues, again, using a different CAP2 for this) + ideally my Birkenstocks (I wear Converses on my days off, business shoes for work naturally and nice dinners, and the Birkenstocks for little things like walking down the road to the local supermarket, or taking the laundry out to hang it up etc).
But I can live without the Birkenstocks on trips, so it would be: wearing Converses with business shoes in the duffel. Naturally, laptop + power bank + most medicines (especially important for my Ritalin) + a book + cables + whatever else can go in my Evergoods 24L CPL. And then with my sling to take out each day to explore.
So I am not sure whether to get the Patagonia or the North Face, in the 40 (Patagonia), 55L (Patagonia), or the North Face in S or M. Sadly, where I live, it is more or less impossible to see them in person before buying. I have the 55L Patagonia, as I said, and other than the coloutextile, the main things I don't like are: a) lack of internal organisation (not improved for the 2024 version I believe), and b) when not crammed full, it sags and lacks structure.
I'm hoping this is a bag I can use for many years to come, and I'm just sick of having to use my suitcase all the time (just that it's big, chunky, obnoxious). For other types of travel I've got an Osprey backpack that I pair with my sling for exploring during the day.
So yes, my questions are:

1. What size would be appropriate, given it will be largely for one to two week trips, with me not being great at packing smartly and minimally, with the options being 40L, 55L or 71L, but with the option of washing say once every 5-7 days?; and
2. Which brand/product is better - durability, cost, value, look, warranty etc?

I will say - I love the "look" of the Patagonia, especially in the matte blue finish. Other than that, I'm open to jumping ship to the North Face, if needed. Final thing is the price - I can get the 40L Patagonia (new design) for $185 AUD, so ~$120 USD, I can get the 55L Patagonia (new design) for around $200 AUD, so ~$130 USD, and the North Face M for $175 AUD, so ~$115 USD.
The North Face is therefore around $100 AUD cheaper than normal, meaning, $100 AUD cheaper than the standard price for the bag, being $70 USD cheaper, as it is on clearance (making it a great deal, in my opinion, but again, happy to spend more on a Patagonia if it will be a better bag for me). That's specifically for the "Timber Tan" colour, which I quite like. It also boils down to the size - I hate it when a bag is too big for what you need it for.
It's the reason I sold my Evergoods MPL30 and CPL28. I'm 6'2", so it wasn't an issue of them being too big for my frame - just too big for my EDC. And that feeling of not wanting "too much room" transfers across to duffels. But then again, it's shit when you are packing for a trip and can't even fit the essentials - especially my CAP2 medicines kit and CAP2 toiletries bag, they take up a fair bit of space.
In so many ways, the 40L Patagonia would be perfect - lifetime warranty as far as I know, and a company dedicated to saving the environment. Plus it is small enough to take as carry-on when flying, I think, and I much prefer the new Patagonia design over the North Face design. But I don't want to come across as sold on the Patagonia! The North Face, for me, seems to have the advantages of that extra external pocket and compression straps. I don't know that there's too much else for it.
Thanks so much for any help. Going through a tough time in my life, and this is just a little thing to look forward to and it will make imagining my next holiday easier, which would be so nice, if I do get to holiday again 💛👌🏻
PS - can also get the Bellroy "Venture Duffel" 55L for $200 AUD, so ~$130 USD, or the North Face "Base Camp Voyager Duffel" 42L for $245 AUD, so ~$160 USD. I love Bellroy, the bag looks amazing, but I hate that they don't stand by their products and offer a lifetime/much longer warranty. And I don't know what the difference is between the "Base Camp Voyager" and the standard "Base Camp" duffel? If anyone knows, please let me know.
Okay, rant over. Truly, any assistance would mean the world to me - the kindness of strangers is getting me through life right now.

Slutty Sister Has Her Brother Locked For Life (non-con, forced chastity, bondage, punishment)
Part 1
The keyholder nurse gave me instructions and explained everything after it was all over. My family had told me that I was a sex pervert and I was "being dealt with". I knew I was in trouble, but I was a young man, only 18 and I didn't understand what was going on. No one had told me anything after the hearing.
Mom drove me to an odd building, led me to a secure room and left. A young nurse told me to undress. I was totally naked. An older woman in scrubs and a man entered. They strapped my arms and legs down to a cold steel table. The nurse offered the woman a syringe, but she declined and said "No, I want this creep to feel it".
It all started a month ago. I lived with my mom and sister, dad was gone. My sister was 19, with a tight body and medium sized, perky tits. Mom was thick, curvy, with giant tits. Both recently got their naval's pierced with matching studs. Neither had boyfriends, but they were very promiscuous. We lived in a mobile home with thin walls, so I could hear them getting fucked often.
I made some mistakes. First, my sister caught me peeping on her in the shower and told mom. Then, two of her "friends" came over for sex. They took turns on her. She got very loud. After they left, I went in her room. She covered herself, but I saw her pussy and stomach first. There were small puddles of cum around her pantyline, and some more of it leaking out of her. I told her I was still a virgin and asked if I could "go next" on her. She yelled "get out" and told mom when she got home from work.
The third incident was more serious they said. Mom would sometimes drink and pass out. I'd never felt tits before and hers were so enticing. She had some drinks and went to bed. I snuck in. She was asleep, uncovered, wearing a gown. I grabbed her heaving boobs. Then I took one of my hands off her chest and pulled the gown above her waist, exposing her. I slid my hand between her legs and rubbed her pussy. She woke up and caught me. She was pissed. The next day my sister told me they had turned me in and there would be a hearing.
So I knew why I was on the metal table, but I didn't know what was next. I couldn't see, there was a drape at my waist. It started with gloves and cold metal on my genitals, then clamping, pinching, pulling, and eventually a sharp puncturing pain near my balls. I begged them to stop, but they did it 2 more times, once on my cock. Finally a metal device was brought out. I could feel it being slid on, clamped down, tightened, then locked. "All done" they said and left. The young nurse stayed behind.
She removed the drape and released the straps. I inspected the "device". My cock and balls had been fed through a steel ring that tightly encircled them at the base. It was secured to a piercing just above my taint and another at the top. My penis was locked in a tight steel "cage" with a hole at the end for pissing. The head had been pierced and a metal bar went through me as extra security. It wasn't going anywhere. The whole thing was super tight.
"What is this?" I asked.
She explained. "It's your chastity device. Your genitals have been locked up. At the hearing, your mother and sister requested that you be put in chastity. The safety council asked them how long they thought would be appropriate and both wanted you locked forever. Since the incidents involved incest, the council agreed. Your penis is locked for life. I'm your keyholder nurse. I will help with adjustments, cleanings, draining your balls, and anything else needed for chastity".
"When do I get to take off?" I said.
She answered, "You're locked forever. So you wont get to take it off. They have to keep you locked so your sister is safe and to punish you for what you did to your mom. You wont be able to have sex or force anyone. Since you can't masturbate, your balls might swell, so you will see me every other month to drain them, do a deep cleaning, and tighten your cage, if necessary.
--------------------------------XXX--------------------------------

Part 2

The room was cold. My keyholder nurse was a cute twenty-something. A name tag with "Beverly" was pinned above her perky boobs. Her scrub top was tight around her chest. I could see the shape of her breasts and her hard nipples pressing againt the fabric. I stared and my cage got tighter. She noticed and grinned slightly.
I got back to business, "Can I appeal or get parole or something? What happens next?"
She answered, "Sorry, no appeals for chastity. There is parole, but not for incest cases. What you did is considered extremely disgusting, so they deemed you a "most extreme pervert". Incest offenders get more severe penalties and no parole. I'm not supposed to be judgemental, but you're my first incest case and it sounded really awful at your hearing. It's hard to believe creeps as bad as you even exist, who rubs their own mom's pussy? This case is really bad, so I'm gonna go harder on you than my other guys. I hope it was worth it. So here's what's next...your mother and sister are entitled to a final inspection of your genitals, then you'll go directly to prison to be processed and locked up in the chastity unit."
I was confused and responded with frustration, "I can't believe this is happening to me. I just got too horny seeing the girls dressed like sluts and listening to them getting fucked all the time. After seeing my sisters cum-filled pussy, I lost control and slipped up. If she just gave me sloppy seconds, I wouldn't have done all that to mom....What do you mean prison?!?!"
She responded, bursting with excitement, "Dont worry, you'll learn your lesson! OH! I see they didn't tell you about prison yet, since you were a rush case. Chastity is just an add-on to your prison sentence as an extra penalty and to keep everyone safe. Let me look at your file to see how much time you'll serve."
Looking at her tablet, she smiled big and replied, "I've never gotten to do this before! Most guys hear about their sentence before they get to me...Ok, so they actually got you taken care of pretty good here. It got split up into multiple counts, so fortunately, they were able to put you away for a long time."
She continued, "Your sister had you convicted on two charges, one for the shower incident and one for the bedroom incident. You got two more for mom, one for groping her tits and another for going between her legs. I'll read them off...
Count 1, Incestual peeping, sentence: 1 year special confinement
Count 2, Incestual peeping with propositioning, sentence: 1.5 years special confinement
Count 3, 2nd Degree Incestual Sexual Battery, 2 years special confinement
Ok and here's the big one! For touching mom's pussy...
Count 4, 1st Dregee Incestual Sexual Battery, 4.5 years RIGOROUS confinement in the SCU-I, (Special Chastity Unit, Incest wing), with intensive perversion correction."
So you'll do nine years total, with the first four-and-a-half in the incest wing."
I was completely shocked, "Nine years!? Are you serious? What's special confinement? Am I going to regular prison or what?
Beverely explained, "Special confinement means you'll be put in the chastity unit. It's a separate level for inmates that have their genitals locked, like rapists and other perverts. It's a little different. The cells are super small, you don't get any privileges like TV, and you stay locked in your cell for 23 hours a day. But don't worry. Most of my guys are in the chastity unit. They all want out really bad, but they're fine. Some eventually leave for regular population if their sentence allows, but you'll actually just be finishing up in the main chasity unit after you're done with rigororous confinement for the first four-and-a-half. You'll start off in the incest wing".
"What is all that? I asked
Beverly explained further, "It's a big deal. That's why I got so excited when I read your sentence on count 4. It wasn't just the amount of time you got, but what'll be happening to you that makes it a heavy one. I've heard it's very extreme. Since you're my first incest case, I'm not as familiar with it, but I've heard you're basically caged up 24/7 and pretty much treated like an animal. I'm not sure if you even get a toilet or a bed. You only leave your cage once every two weeks for perversion correction, which I might get to assist with, and you'll get another device I've heard about, called the "silver bullet". I think it's an anal device? You'll learn more about that when you get there. Oh! Looks like it's time to get you ready for inspection."
The door opened as she left and two female guards entered. One had a tazer. They led me to another table. This one had wheels. I sat on the edge. One grabbed my ankles and another tried to push me on my back. I resisted, trying to spin off the table. I was immediately tazed, then sedated, imobilizing me. "This will be easier for if you just comply" she said. I was on my back again. My ankles were lifted toward my head, folding my legs over me. Thick zip ties were placed around my ankles and calfs. My hands and forearms were looped through both, then "zzzzzzzztttt", it was all cinched down tight, securing my arms to my legs. A bar was secured between my knees, keeping me exposed. Beverly came back in. One of the guards said "He's all yours hon" as they left.
"Let's get you cleaned up" Beverly said. "Your mom and sister are on their way and they're excited to see your private parts all locked up for good.
She put gloves on, then approached the table, placing one hand over my nose. I opened my mouth and she shoved a gag in and secured it around my head. "This is just a temporary gag. Your sister didn't want you talking during inspection. I believe you'll get more securely gagged and muzzled when you get to processing. I've heard the guys don't get solid food in the incest wing, you get fed a liquid diet, like that soylent stuff, that you'll take through a drinking tube in your gag. It's really amazing how good they have you incest perverts locked up over there. I can't wait to see you like that.
She started the cleaning by soaping and lathering around my crotch, exposed parts were shaved. She walked away, coming back with a tube and a bag full of fluid that she hung from a pole. The label read "Enema". Beverly explained, "Gotta clean you inside and out. First I'll get you lubed up". She grabbed a metal syring, inserted the tip in my ass, and injected me with lube. At the end of enema tube, there was a detachable nozzle with two inflatable bulbs. One was forced in my ass and both were inflated, locking it in place. I could see the tube going from the bag to inside me. I felt like I was being treated like an animal already. She turned a valve, the fluid began flowing and filled me up. She set a timer for 35 minutes, and sat on her stool, reading cosmo. After an agonizing wait, she removed the nozzle plug, allowing me to release. Finally, thank goodness. I was soaped up again and rinsed. She cleaned up the enema nozzle plug, added more lube, and shoved it back1 inside me. "Putting this back in so we dont have any potential leaks" she said, as she inflated it. She disconnected the outside end of the inflatable nozzle where it attached to the longer enema tube, clamped it off, and let go of it. I felt it bounce around as it settled. "You're all set" she exclaimed.
I was wheeled on the cart-like table through a long, busy hallway to a different room for inspection. I could feel the protruding nozzle plug in my ass flop around as the cart moved. The other employees stared as I went by, a few smiled with satisfaction. How humiliating I thought. I heard murmuring. "Bitchtied pervert getting what he deserves!" one girl said angrily.
Finally in the inspection room, I waited. The door opened, Beverly entered with two blondes behind her, my mom and my sister. The two gorgeous sluts were dressed similar. My mom was wearing tight, denim, high waisted shorts that displayed her ass and curvy hips, they were pulled-up high in a way that you could see the denim tight against her twat. My sister came dressed in super short spandex yoga shorts, tight ones that lifted her already firm butt into perfection. Both wore crop tops with their stomachs and matching naval piercings exposed. Images of my sister's sloppy pussy flashed in my head, my cock and balls both swelled. I stared at their bodies and let out a loud, desperate moan as my cage grew excruciatingly tight.
Part 3 to follow...

Hi I'm 20M, don't have a scale to check my weight, but back in 2019 I was pretty slim and even ran track, but covid screwed me over as I got lazier and stayed home way more often.
Fast forward to today, I usually don't check myself in the mirror aside from my face and I generally wear baggy hoodies, but just realized I've got a bigger gut than I realized, I'd call myself fat or just starting to get fat. I eat like garbage and don't do too much so I'm not surprised, though I'm 100% determined to put a stop to this now b4 it gets too bad, I'm gonna get help with my diet but-
I know nothing about working out, nor can I really leave my house/have access to workout equipment. What can I do from home daily? I'm fine with general tips or whatever but if possible I'd like to focus on belly fat and neck fat, not too worried about bulking/gaining muscle, just losing weight. Will appreciate any and all tips/advice/routines, I know NOTHING about this stuff, but I am very determined to push myself as hard as neccesary.

Hi I'm 20M, don't have a scale to check my weight, but back in 2019 I was pretty slim and even ran track, but covid screwed me over as I got lazier and stayed home way more often.
Fast forward to today, I usually don't check myself in the mirror aside from my face and I generally wear baggy hoodies, but just realized I've got a bigger gut than I realized, I'd call myself fat or just starting to get fat. I eat like garbage and don't do too much so I'm not surprised, though I'm 100% determined to put a stop to this now b4 it gets too bad, I'm gonna get help with my diet but-
I know nothing about working out, nor can I really leave my house/have access to workout equipment. What can I do from home daily? I'm fine with general tips or whatever but if possible I'd like to focus on belly fat and neck fat, not too worried about bulking/gaining muscle, just losing weight. Will appreciate any and all tips/advice/routines, I know NOTHING about this stuff, but I am very determined to push myself as hard as neccesary.

female- 17 and my ex, male 17 were together for a year and were serious about our relationship. He only has his sister in her family and no one to look after him. His sister, female-21 has always had an issue with me. When he introduced me to her as girlfriend she seemed happy at first but things started to change she started picking up fight for no reason and once she held my hands so tightly that it cut my skin and he being obsessed with his sister always said that she is my everything and all. I was okay with it cause he has only her and his sister literally once said that if only she ( referring to me) was a little bit pretty I would have loved to be with her as friend I thought my boyfriend wouldn't agree with it and take my side because I am actually pretty as much as I know I have been the type of girl who was and is famous in school with boys telling me how pretty I was. And I still couldn't understand her problem with me nonetheless. Instead of defending me my bf told her sis that we could get her nose job I felt so offended like wdym but I didn't react and this continued for his finals he got less marks and this woman his sister basically blamed me for his marks and his future she was tormenting me literally but I lost it when she said that with that reputation of your family I would never allow you with my brother. His brother listening to everything just said that please understand my sister okay I was like wth this is too much and not to flex or something my family is rich and freaking reputated in the society more than their and when she tried to call out for my caste I had the upper hand she was telling how she is a Bc caste i couldn't handle it anymore and told my boyfriend I'm a freaking Oc caste and what the hell is she tryna say and it's over I can't handle this at all. And he also agreed to break up I was trying to move on and made friends again because he didn't like any of my friends literally not even a single one so I had to leave all of them and I had no one but now I could have how many friends I want so I was happy but this guy is back again and says that we should start dating again when I asked him about his sister he said she is not here currently so it's okay if we date I was like wth no wayy I'm getting back with you again. But he keeps persuading me what should I do?

I 33F had a relationship with a 32M for quite some time. Serious relationship, definitely felt like it could've been marriage material.
I never felt like I was one of the shallow people. I never needed tall men, or men wirh muscles. Given I'm only 5'3 I generally was happy with anyone my height or taller, which was pretty easy to do.
Ex bf was 5'4, that never bothered me. His body type means he would never be big or bulky, or built like a brick sh*house. That's fine. Without beating around the bush, with his height and his physique, he was similar to a pre-pubescent teenage boy. Very skinny, no leaness. He was not interested in the gym and that's OK.
Upon reflection of trying to figure out how to learn from.past relationships and grow from it, I had the realisation that I did end up getting an 'ick' in the sense that physically wise I felt like I was sleeping with someone under-age. It felt wrong even though my brain knew it was OK. This is where I feel I am in the wrong. But also there is something in some instinct part of my brain that says ' this body is not for you to be doing inappropriate things with".
Is there the potential that we could get back together, possibly, there was a lot of love, but also a lot of toxicity ( on my side, which is whay om trying to sort out) so I want to see if anyone has insights to help me out.
Feel free to call me the asshole.

Just felt a (likely) bone spur dislodge from my right hip (33F-bilateral total arthroplasty and iliospoas tendon release surgery, right leg). Nearly six years to the date today, I have been in some form of crippling pain, having trained for a 10k-had left total hip arthroplasty in 2016, left in 2019, and an iliopsoas tendon release on the right in 2023. Did 3 rounds of PT throughout 2029-2023.
I have RA, a connective tissue disease, attacking an injured connective tissue overlying my hip; thus, the constant inflammation creates an environment for bone spurs (which I’ve had prior to my tendon release surgery).
Following some advice on the hips subreddit, I decidedly randomly today to consciously activate the muscle opposing the psoas (glute)-I felt a pop at the “back end” and the “hip end” of my psoas muscle followed by nearly instant relief and mobility I hadn’t had in SIX YEARS.
I will add that leading up to today, over the past six weeks, I have done (2) hyperbaric oxygen therapy sessions; six sports massage sessions; foam rolling; and “Thera-Gun-ing” (due to a recent move with lots of physical demands on my body). I’ve also used Gua-sha and manual self-massage of my hip to break up scar tissue.
I say all this as many practitioners don’t emphasize these options (if standard PT and conservative treatments don’t help after a major procedure / surgery). Yet, I found MASSIVE relief and mobility, six years later, greatly accelerated once I started massage-related techniques. I’m just so grateful, as I thought I would never get better; I want others to know that they can, too. Don’t give up-you don’t have to settle for miserable!
—
Disclaimer-not a doctor or physician; just a millennial with a lot of early onset degenerative joint disease from having competed internationally in Sport Taekwondo.

So since January I started experiencing awful visual issues, I had an MRI, CT & blood work & all came back clear, since then I started developing twitching after taking amitriptyline and I just assumed it was a withdrawal or simply BFS. In 2/3 months I have had muscle atrophy in my back, thighs, calves and I’m certain my tongue has became weaker and so has my neck - I have no swallowing issues but my swallowing feels odd and my speech perceived by myself feels slow and not right at all.
I have seen countless neurologists in this time and they have all sent me back with a clean bill of health even though I have had 1 EMG which showed ‘chronic neuropathic changes mainly distantly’ and therefore a Neuromusculur neurologist diagnosed me with bfs & anxiety.
I know for a fact I have probably one of the worst progressive types of ALS you could get especially at such a young age - the atrophy was noticed by an NHS doctor who has sent me for another EMG in 3 months? But I have a private EMG on the 16th of this month. I’m absolutely terrified I have no understanding to how this could of happened, if all started after I took some mirtazapine to help with insomnia and I believe this has triggered something although there is 0 literature of this ever occurring and that’s why I can’t believe this happening to me.
I’m here to see reassurance even though I’m certain I’m dying and loosing everything so rapidly - I believe I have JALS or bulbar onset due to the changes in my face & throat etc… the one thing I can’t understand is how multiple parts of my body seem to be loosing muscle at the same time, I have read that ALS starts in one and moves up to the next etc but for me it seems like it’s everywhere.
I don’t know to be honest I don’t really know I didn’t want to post this at all but I just maybe might find someone on here that is experiencing disgusting symptoms, had a bag EMG and still came out the other side. I don’t believe I will, my family & girlfriend currently think I’m completely fine due to the reassurance from all the doctors and even the Neurologist who read the EMG still diagnosed me with BFS?
The EMG was on 2nd of April and at that point I knew my legs were smaller but it wasn’t extremely extremely noticeable - the EMG had no active neuropathic changes as PSW and FIBS were normal, it was just + AMP, + DUR and - INT PAT with seen fasiculations.
Overall I’m lost and i know it’s known that vision isn’t affected by ALS but I read reports and I legit match the symptoms such as reduced eye tracking, impaired VOR. I just feel like the most unlucky person on this planet like how can I have all these visual symptoms and horrible physical symptoms at such a young age just after taking some anti depressants to helps with insomnia.
I really need some support guys and I want to truly believe I’ll be okay but as of right now nothing can sway my mind and I’m dreading the 16th for what it will show, I’m going to honestly just walk in and say ‘I believe I have bulbar onset als just please start on my face and work your way down’
I just can’t believe that I’m completely fine when everything in my body is changing and has changed so quickly. I can still ride my bike, I can still run, walk fine and do any activity I want. (Other than football probably because of my vision) but I can’t do them well. I used to be able to run 5k without any aches in my body but now my feet hurt and so do my legs and I’m just a complete mess.
Much love and I hope people on this forum can comfort me with reassurance :(