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My bf (25m) and I (25f) met last year and instantly clicked. He lived two hours away from me so we’d see each other on the weekends and we always had the best time. I loved the way we communicated, the way he listened to me and was always kind and respectful to me. He went above and beyond with making me feel special. Making me my favorite desserts, surprising me with dates, making me dinner. Constantly texting me and asking me questions. We share so many interests, my family loves him, his family loves me.
Shortly into our relationship he was offered a promotion that required him to move about 11 hours away. He decided to accept the offer which I feel was the right decision and we decided to do long distance. He moved a few months after and we’ve been doing long distance for about two months now. It has been extremely hard. My previous relationship was also a long distance relationship where my ex cheated on me. I told my current bf that I’ve developed a lot of anxiety regarding this and at first I wasn’t confident about my abilities to maintain a ldr. He assured me that he would FaceTime me every night, text me all the time, fly me out to visit him once every 6 weeks or that he would fly to me.
A few weeks into the long distance he started being more distant. His texts weren’t as reassuring and lovey as they used to me. He stopped planning FaceTime dates and wouldn’t call as much. One time he cancelled a Facetime date he had planned for us (we were going to make dinner together and watch a movie) 20 minutes before to hang out with his friend. I told him that since this is all we have right now they’re really important to me. He said he understood and would do better.
When I would tell him I was feeling anxious he would get hostile and defensive. Saying “don’t you see everything I’m trying to do” and if I expressed my concerns he’d be very dismissive. One night he didn’t say I love you back to me on the phone. I asked him if something was wrong and he got mad that I even asked. If he was being dry and I would ask why he’d say “I didn’t put an emoji, so what?” I was starting to feel really defeated and upset. I was convinced that me thinking he was being distant was all in my head.
This past weekend I flew down to see him for the first time since we’ve started long distance. Our reunion didn’t feel as emotional as I thought it would. He said he felt weird around me for the first 24 hours. I could tell something was off. He wasn’t looking at me the same way and it didn’t feel the way it used to. He wasn’t staying hard during sex either which has never happened. I asked if I did something wrong or he wasn’t attracted to me and he kept saying no that he didn’t know what the problem was.
Finally on the last night he admitted that he has been distant. I told him the way I’ve felt the last month is not okay. He started crying (which was the first time I’d ever seen him cry) and apologizing saying that it’s not okay that he’s treated me this way and how sorry he was. He kept saying that I’m the nicest person he’s ever met and I deserve better and that he doesn’t know why he is the way he is. He mentioned that it may be trauma from past relationships where he never felt good enough and any criticism or problem feels very personal. He said he wishes he would’ve supported me more emotionally and that I didn’t do anything wrong but that his new position has been very demanding. He said it’s been so hard on him that he’s losing his hair. He said the stress is so much more than he thought it would be and that when he has a full day of things going wrong and stress at work that it’s harder for him to give me the patience and time and effort that I deserve, which he has never mentioned before. I asked him to be honest with me and himself about if he’s able to handle the position and our relationship at the same time. He said he thinks he can and that he doesn’t want to lose me and how much he loves me and sees a really happy future and life with me.
I don’t know what to do. The last month I have felt so alone, unsupported and misunderstood. I understand his side as well. I just have a lot of concerns about both of our mental wellbeing’s.
I’d like all the advice I can get. Thank you for reading all of this.

Hi everyone, hope y’all are doing well
I have been dating her for 8 months now, and it has been long distance for the most part - when things are going well, everything is fine but I am now worried about compatibility issues in the long run
I am trying to look for advice on how to handle my girlfriend’s expectations of me doing things for her and her stubbornness to see my side or perspective. I usually buy her gifts or tell her I love her and that I miss her and that I can’t wait to see her next etc but I feel like she doesn’t care for these things
But she has expectations like updating my whatsapp pfp to a picture of us - and she was mad that it didn’t occur to me on my own. To be honest, it didn’t even strike me at all, and when i told her that she got mad.
When she again told me to change it, I told her I would, after my dad is aware about the relationship. But i have never shared that relationship dynamic with my dad where I keep him posted about my dating life. My mom is aware (again due to her repeatedly asking), but I have usually kept them at an arms length. But my gf has a different relationship dynamic with her parents, she loops them in about everyone and everything going on. When I tried reasoning her, she kept insisting I update my dp and even threatened breaking up over this.
Offlate I have been feeling super exhausted trying to stand up for myself or pacify her, only for it to last a couple of hours before falling back to square one, and the cycle restarts again
I told her - “You cannot expect me to think like you, but you can ask for something. But then you only get mad that you had to ask, and anyways end up disappointed because I do it after you ask. It doesn’t make sense.”
TLDR: GF constantly annoyed that she has to ask me to do certain things, and that they don’t occur to me on my own. Also keeps asking me to challenge my family dynamics despite me trying to explain them to her. What do I do?

My boyfriend 24M and I 26F have been together for about 6 months and the relationship has been mostly amazing. We communicate so well, have so much fun, share the same goals for our futures, respect each other and we are just really happy together.
There is however one issue with a girl that my bf used to hook up with. We can call her Sarah 24F and they were in the same friend group through college. They were friends for years and then last year they ended up hooking up. It happened a few times and then as my bf explains it “fizzled out”.
He said that they decided to just be friends and still hung out one on one and in group settings in a platonic way after they had no longer been hooking up.
When we started dating it was about 5 months after they’d stopped hooking up. As our relationship progressed I ended up meeting his friends and he told me about Sarah but I did not meet her because she had moved out of state.
About 3 months into our relationship my bf mentioned that Sarah was coming back into town and said that he’d probably hang out with her. I did not feel comfortable with this and we had a conversation about it. In the end, my bf understood my point of view (I had a major issue in my previous relationship with my partner cheating) and even offered to block her and not see her. I told him that wasn’t necessary, and that I’d be fine with him going to a group hangout with her there, just not a one on one situation. He said that was absolutely fine and that he would keep to that and let me know of any communication or interaction with her.
About a month later I found out he was texting her in a way that made me feel really uncomfortable. It was mostly platonic but he said things like “I’ve missed you!” and “I can’t wait to see you” in response to her saying she was coming back into town. If this was strictly a platonic friendship, it wouldn’t have been a big deal at all but because of their history it made me so uncomfortable. At the end of that situation, he said he understood and that he’d no longer speak to her that way. There wasn’t much resolution and I ended up letting it go.
Now a week ago he went to a party with his friends. I couldn’t go because of work. When he was on the way there I got a weird feeling she was going and I called and asked who was going. He listed the people and didn’t mention her name. Later on when he got there, he texted me saying she was there. I felt awful and like he knew she was going to be there and didn’t tell me before because it’s a sore spot.
I let that go too because I chose to trust him when later he explained he had no idea. He was showing me a gift his friends for him for his birthday. They gave it to him at the party and it was a really nice ring. I asked who gave it to him and he named 3 of his friends.
A couple days later I was putting away some stuff my bf had at my place and found the bag and box the ring came in. I looked at it and there was a note that said who it was from… it was from the 3 friends he named, but also from Sarah.
He swears up and down he didn’t know she was included in getting it for him and that he didn’t even see the note. The note was in the bag so it’s possible he opened the box and didn’t look in the bag to see the note. But I just have such a hard time believing they gave it to him at the party and that she didn’t say anything about being part of it.
He told me that he blocked her number a while ago and deleted her messages after I was upset with how he’d been texting her (I never asked him to do that). He still does follow her on social media. I found it weird that he’d delete their messages and block her number when I never asked for that, but still follow her on social.
I really want to believe him, but I feel so doubtful. He’s given me no other reason to think he’s lying, but this is a lot to me. I don’t want to let my past trauma of being cheated on screw up a relationship I’m so happy in, but I don’t want to be lied to. Do you think he’s lying or are these circumstances just coincidental?

soooo i'm 17 and also have a boyfriend who is also 17. we've been dating for about 2 months and talking in total for likeee 5. sooo recently i found out that he's not a virgin, which i am. i've been wanting to ask but i just never did, and anyways well last week he asked me and i was like "no i'm nottt" as a joke cause i very much am😭😭 but yeahh then i asked him and he said no. whiiich i knew that he had 4 girlfriends before me, sooo i mean i already figured and knew he's done it before with at least one of them but yeahhh. getting the actual answer and confirmation really made it hit me and go through in my mind. after he told me that, (that he isn't a virgin) i started to think about that and picture him with one of his exes (which i don't know who they are or what they look like) and thinking about how he's been with her and has said he loves her and stuff. and tell me why it was making me sadddd and jealous in a wayyy?, likeee??!?!??! who does that😭😭😭 but☝🏽 i think it's just because i'm a virgin and i've never had a boyfriend beforeee....but i don't knowww i feel like i just have some issues going on up there🧚🏽‍♀️

I have always had trouble expressing my awful parents. Like even typing this post is hard. I have always found it embarrassing how bad my parents were. I am freshly 20f, I have been working so I applied on kijiji for all one bedroom for rents available in my city. and i was told I can take one by renter. For context this is what I am leaving. My “dad”, who sees me once every 10 years, lives in a different province and has no contact. He has never sent me money or tried to be of any help guidance assistance to me. I barely know him but his actions pretty much ruined my teen life. My “mom” is literally one of the most manipulative narcissistic people ever, she only degrades me and talks to me about how she thinks I will never achieve anything in my life. Yep. When i have a boyfriend she talks about how she doesn’t know what they see in me. Honestly, as I get older I wonder if my dad did this to never see her again. She is awful. And, then later on my mom starts dating a man. He moves in with us even though I have been open, and my sister, about how much we hate this man and do not feel safe around him. This guy is worse than my dad and my mom. He is absolutely insane, plays Trump speeches every single day full volume. Extremely racist, goes on and on about how he hates India proudly. My best friend is a Punjabi girl. I have never been comfortable having her over because he is insanely racist. He is also like 20 years older than my mom, he has never been married, he has never had children, he has never had a consistent house or family I assume because he is literally the worst human I have encountered. I am surprised he has not hit my mom because he frequently screams at her, and at me until the victim is full blown crying and having a panic attack. So, i have decided to leave this house. Currently i spend all my time at work, then after work sit in a cafe or bus shelter til 11pm, go there to sleep, leave 8am the next morning. I finally found somewhere I can move. Do i tell them i am leaving or just pack and go? How do i go no contact?

Hello my reddit family,
I am going through just a harsh time and knew I needed to vent out.
I met a guy on a dating on last April 2023 and as soon as we matched the phone calls and messages where non-stop. He lived three hours away and was always pursuing and ensisting to come and meet me. When we finally did, there was an instant connection and attraction, its like we have known eachother before. Our conversation , our joke, everything came so natural. He stayed the weekend to be with me and had to leave due to work. We continued to talk as always and he ensisted on seeing me the following weekend but I couldnt because I had plans with my family. That weekend we started our day the same talking and texting and then out of no where half way through the day he told me he wasnt feeling good , that he was going to bed early and didn’t call me until the next day morning( Sunday). Same issue occured we talked the whole morning and then he made up an excuse and we didnt talk the whole night until Monday morning he magically appeared. The following weekend after that one he told me he missed and wanted to see me so hee booked us a fun weekend at palm springs. While at palm springs spring he introduced me to one of his closest friends he told them about future plans he had in midn with me. He would always re assure me before going to bed that he really liked me and is serious about me. We then had sex but before I asked him if he was seeing anybody else , before we had unprotected sex and he said no he was only seeing me.
We had sex and spend an amazing weekend togethe and I though to myself this guy is really the one he had so many things I loved. He was ambitious, he was set already had a good job, studied, his next step in life was building a family, we liked the same music hobbies, etc he was the one in my head.
The following weekend after Palm Springs, he told me he was going to a wedding and dunes with his cousins and didnt hear from him only in the mornings. On Sunday, he asked if we could meet half way that he really wanted to introduce me to his other best friend but I was unable to go on such short notice. He was understanding and continue his sunday with his cousins.
That night idk why I had a feeling that something wasnt right. I didnt want to think bad about him but idk i felt something. Two weekends where he magically disappears but always checks up on me the next day , i was battling in my head stopping myself from thinking bad but my evil thoughts beat me to it and I started to investigate.
Idk where to even look because, I obviously didnt have any mutual friends we lived 3 hours apart but decided to go through his recent followers. And to not make this story any longer lol. I came across a girl he was following who had a public account she was younger than him by 6 years she was 23 he is 28 and I saw her recent stories and saw him in them. She really didnt show him completly but I was able to tell It was him. I saw they where in the same similar setting to where he was last weekend and this weekend with his “cousins”. My heart dropped, I was so sad and fustrated and didnt know what to do. I started stalking her, her friends, family , comparing myself etc. I didnt know whether I should tell him something, or not. He had told me before we had sex he wasnt seeing anyone. I was hurt and didnt know what to do. The following week i acted as nothing happened. He was the same lovey dovey but I kept stalking the girl and noticed he would see her during the week when he would tell me he was at the gym, she also lived closer to him.
I didnt know what to do, he was making future plans with me to take me to a concert and planning the following weekend booking a hotel and making reservations to see eachother again. But idk what to feel or do. Until one day I heard nothing from him but a goodmorning and saw he was with her. So I finally question him I obviously didnt tell him that I knew who it was but asked gim if he was seeing anybody else , the reason is because the past days he been a little off and I just wantes to make sure. He got offended and told me he wasnt that he is always planning thing with me or eants to see me. He is booking future events with me and there isnt a day that goes by that he does not keep in touch with me. Then i told him I just wanted to reassure since I really liked gim and I was seeing anybidy else but him and he has been off. Right after that he send me a text how he felt i was accusing him of aomething and that it was too early on to begin with that and then stopped texting me after that. A week later he blocked me from instagram and since then I have not yet stopped looking at the other he chise. He eventuallt continued to pursue her and till this day they are atill together. I stopped nyself from looking them up for months but then temptation beat me and I did hoping my evil thought he wouldnt be with her that he would do the aame rhing to her he did with me . But they are happily together they seems so happy always traveling and doing all the things he has said he would do with me. There relationsjip seems perfect her family loved him he sings to her and protects her and I cant stop comparing myself to her.
Idk what to do its been a year and I am still not over it every guy I meet i compare them to him.
I am so fustrated. Sorry focr the long post just needed to vent out.
Tl/DR:/

Thought I had met the one.
Chosen over somebody else.
How to get over wishing they dont work out of he do the same thing to her he did to me.
Can not stop comparing myself or looking there social media.

Ahoy! I come in search of comrades and friendships. I don't like the small talk. I know a lot of people do, but I genuinely dislike it.
"What do I like?" you ask. Honestly, a plethora of things. From space and scifi, to history, to video games, to horror, to movies and music. I read a lot. Im going through an Ayn Rand phase.
Tell me about a book you're reading, a show you're watching, a story you're writing... Tell me about the time you fell in love or fell out of love. Anything! Anything! EXCEPT "hey how are you?"
I'm looking for the people who want to get to know me and talk regularly. I like to voice chat. Please be open to voice chatting if you reply to me.
I'm NOT looking for married people. You aren't on my page in life. Not that I'm looking to date, I just don't want to hear about your happy or unhappy marriage lol. Or about your kids. Kids are great, but not my bag.

Good Day Beauties, we're looking for models to create lifestyle content for us. All the work details are mentioned in the video please watch it to know what we want from you.
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Screening (DM with these details if interested)
Fil up this form:

Name: Age: Birthdate: Location: Do you have kids? I yes, how many and how old? Social Media LINK (All social media LINK): And send 10 BEST PHOTOS (Must be near, not far, must not have a shades, or eyeglasses, not with facemasks, must be solo,with full body and close up)
Note: Social medias must be "Single-looking profile" or "Single". Having kids is fine, but relationship in profile is automatic reject.

Completing of Requirements:

50 Lifestyle Photos (Old Photos is fine as long as it's still quality, you can use your photos that is already posted on your social media) (Maximum 5 photos with family, Maximum 5 Private Photos)
20 Lifestyle Videos (Must be 20 seconds above each, no tiktok watermark, you can use Tiktok videos but make sure remove the watermark at Snaptik.com or Ssstik.io Must not have vape, cigarette or liquor on the video, super daring videos (almost nude) are NOT allowed) (With partner NOT ALLOWED)
Photo of ID with birthdate, ID Number & photo (Must not be expired within 6 months, you can use any IDs)
Questionnaire (Will be provided to the scout once there's already passed models, this are just about personal information like height, weight, etc.)

Profile Registration

Once the Models already completed all requirements, she just need to wait 2-5 days before the profile will be registered. There are times that it will be later than that if, example, the model needs to send another ID, because the ID photo is not readable, or the date is already expired, etc.

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Hi everyone. I just felt the need to let some of this out and maybe gather some advice on how to move forward. I passed by my ex while I was driving the other day and I realized, that despite everything that has happened between us, and the utter callousness that she discarded me with, I still love and miss her (and worry a bit for her).
This was my first relationship and maybe that is why I still feel so loyal to the idea I have of her. We started out so amazingly, and after two years it started to turn very sour. She stopped trusting me, and started searching through my phone and computer every chance she got. She turned on location sharing for my phone as well. After a half a year of this I felt compelled to break up with her. I did that very poorly and failed to properly explain why I was doing it. I felt that I had to end the relationship because of this despite being very much still in love with her. The next 7 months I did my best to avoid her, and she did her best to pull me back in. We had promised to try again the following Summer, but she kept reaching out earlier. There was a lot of dramatic things said and it culminated in me leaving someone I had started seeing to go back to her. 4 months later we had failed to work out our issues and I had to leave for school again. So I asked for us to put a pin in everything for a bit and let me focus on school. After a month, I realized I wanted to put everything I had into making it work with her, that I loved her and that I didn't want to feel this way about anyone else or have her become a stranger, so I resolved to message her after a big exam. I figured that everyone has their issues, and for the rest of her qualities, I could accept the ones she had and work around them.
Two days before that, she reached out to me to tell me it was done. She came to my house, made a show of how she had a new life in our hometown and refused to speak to me after that. A month later she was dating someone new, who was the opposite of what I know her to value. I wasn't that jealous, but I was really really hurt by this. I had avoided formal dating for her benefit for a year after we broke up, by her request. I had believed her when she talked about her faith in us, and her love for me. I had no explanation from her, just a complete doorslam.
As you're reading this you might be kind of confused about why I still feel this way, it's so obviously toxic. I know I was. Months went by, and I realized I wasn't able to open up to anybody new. I still couldn't understand how she had started dating someone so quickly, and so seriously. It had to be a rebound right? But it's still going strong 8 months later.
After those first three months, I had a period of hibernation where I just didn't feel like going out, seeing anybody new, or entertaining any aspect of dating. Then I felt a bit of a revival, I started going out, doing the things I used to enjoy, worrying less. I started looking forward to the future. Now, I've moved home from school, and she lives 4 blocks away from me. I walk my dog in fear of a jumpscare. I walk past places where we would hang out or grab coffee after work, or sandwiches. I was thinking about her more and more since coming home, despite focusing on other things I enjoy. After seeing her in passing yesterday it just all crashed back down and I feel like I'm back in the 1st month. I'm pretty sure her new boyfriend has moved abroad for a while, and maybe that will make her think of me again (I'm fairly certain it's a rebound). I just don't know. I don't think she wants to hear or see me. I don't know if she's mad or if she misses me or if she's completely indifferent now. But the problem is now I am thinking about it. Now I greedily want to run into her again. I want her to think of me, I want to catch up. I hope for an apology, and an explanation. The ball is in her court and has been for months. I just didn't realize I was still waiting around like a dope. It feels like such a step back. How can I still feel this way after 8 months of no contact? I just feel hopeless now.

I (22f) just got out of my first real, long-term relationship of 3 years in January. I've been trying to "get back out there", but I feel so emotionally raw and confused at the state of dating.
I met a man (37m) on a dating app in April. I usually never respond to messages/make plans on my dating apps; I just kind of have them to make me feel slightly less lonely. For some reason, I responded to his message. He wasn't insanely good looking, funny, etc. There was just something that drew me to him.
I was in his town the night we matched (I live in a town 2 hrs away but travel frequently for work). We went out for drinks, and I had a really fun time. He was really interesting, and took an interest in me. We had a lot of chemistry naturally.
We texted a little bit after, and I agreed to go away for the weekend with him a couple weeks later. We met in a cute resort town in the middle of both our towns. I texted him before, saying that I like to physically take things slow. He said there was "0 expectation for anything physical" and that he just wanted to eat good food and have fun, etc. He said if we were to do anything physical, that could be a conversation.
I had a really fun weekend! I opened up more than I ever do to anyone, and he really opened up about a lot (his family, past relationships). He offered me some really genuine advice about a couple things. We went on a hike, had dinner, hot tubbed, and drank.
On our first night together, we ended up "fooling around" but not having full-on sex. The second night, we had sex twice. After the first time, we went to the gas station together for snacks and he must've put his hand on my leg while driving over. I didn't mean to push his hand off, I was just really tired and might've done it accidentally. Later that night, I thought we were both staying another night. He told me that he was planning on leaving, since I didn't seem that into him since I pushed his hand off my leg. I explained that I was really into him, and it was accidental. We had sex again after that, and he stayed the night instead of leaving.
I had this really weird feeling after we had sex for the first time that he had "gotten what he wanted." It made things almost awkward afterwards; he asked me if something was wrong. I couldn't explain it, it was just a gut feeling.
He didn't really seem that into sex. He told me he likes to be dominant, but he wasn't super aggressive or anything about having sex during or before.
Fast forward to the week after that weekend, he texted me right after to make sure I got home safe and send me the pics he took of me. We texted a little bit on/off for like 2 days, and I went and said some dumb shit like "you mesmerized me over the weekend" to test the waters. I was hoping he'd give me some validaion that he felt sparks, too, tbh.
He left that on read, so I called him 2 days after I sent that and he didn't answer. At that point, I felt as if i were ghosted after we had sex (not the first time this has happened to me, probably why my mind went there and started to freak out). I sent him a paragraph about how if "sex was all he was looking for, thats fine, but he should lead with that."
He texted back, apologizing for making me feel ghosted/uneasy, and said he had just been really busy camping. I said that I felt crazy for overreacting, and I apologized. The whole thing made me look/seem really crazy and I was pretty embarrassed. He asked to call me on Monday, and I said sure. He says that he will try to be better about communicating clearly and thoughtfully.
Monday came, and I told him some times that worked for me. He responded later that night, saying work had gotten busy but we could call today. At this point, I'm kind of over him. I like guys who call when they say they will. I texted him and told him I'm sorry for being clingy/desperate, but I'm not in a place to date, after I just feel so sad after my last break up.
This whole thing has really messed with my head. I've never met a man who has made me feel so confused about his intentions. He doesn't seem super motivated by sex...he doesn't seem super into dating me since his communication can be sporadic....?? I am so lost, and this whole experience has made me feel insane LOL. I can't tell if he's the nicest, busy guy ever or a seasoned player.

We are both in college. I’ve been on HRT for a year and a half (I started without telling my parents in my senior year of high school on my own dime) and she started estrogen in October 2023. While we dated, we would often argue about how I passed as a man and she did not pass as a woman, and that because she would get clocked it would “affirm me as a man” (it didn’t, and made me feel bad for her when she would get clocked or misgendered). She would also constantly tell me how “easy” it is for me because I am a trans man, and every time I tried to ask her why she felt that way she would tell me that I wouldn’t understand because I’m a “theyfab” and I “had my transition handed to me.”
We broke up because of this attitude in January and she completely stopped talking to me or interacting with me, and I recently found out that she has been telling our mutual friends that it was/is my fault that she can’t pass as a woman because now that she isn’t hanging out with me she passes much better. I didn’t want to give any credit to these statements but I am wondering if parts of it are true.
TLDR: Was I as a trans man making it harder for my ex gf as a trans woman to pass?

As many of you may have read, there is a case of two missing adopted kids in North Carolina, where remains have been found. The news has reported that their adoptive “mother” is Avantae Deven.
I’m a curious person and started digging up information on Avantae Deven when I first read the story in my news feed and could not believe what I was reading. It seemed like whomever this woman is must have be using an alias; Avantae Deven is not a name like Kim Jones or Mackenzie Smith.
The more I dug, the weirder it seemed to get. I found a property deed to a place in Sedona, Arizona, and figured out that whomever this Avantae person is, she at one point in time had owned a home together with someone named Nicole Adams. So I dug into who Nicole Adams was, and learned that she was the widow of a spiritual leader named Robert Adams. It appeared to me that there would be no way to identify who Avantae really was, unless I could also identify the true identity of Robert Adams.
*******
I've done investigative work for many years, including skip tracing. I can conclusively state that there was absolutely no person actually named Robert Adams born in New York State on January 21, 1928. This is demonstrated by the New York Birth Index. I have combed the census records for 1930, 1940, and 1950, and cross-checked them against multiple databases, and am confident that nobody with the birth name of Robert Adams was born anywhere in the United States on January 21, 1928.
Moreover, there was absolutely no person with the true name of Robert Adams who died anywhere at all in the United States, let alone Sedona, Arizona, on March 2, 1997. This is demonstrated by the Social Security Death Index.
I began this research largely by performing exhaustive searches on the known addresses that are associated with Robert, his wife Leonie (who used to use the alias Nicole), and Avantae Deven (who turns out to be their daughter Michelle who began using the alias Avantae in the mid-1990’s or so). Most of the addresses are PO boxes. Those that are PO boxes are all *private* PO boxes, not PO boxes that one can rent from the United States Postal Service. To me, that spoke volumes. The family were clearly using aliases.
As I explain further below, I eventually determined that “Robert Adams” was Robert Spiegel, born 21 January 1932 in New York. “Nicole Adams” was actually Aileen Beverly Leonie Maxwell, born February 2, 1929, in Jamaica. “Avantae Deven” is actually their daughter, Michelle K. Spiegel, born on October 1, 1960, in California.
One of Robert’s many false stories about Robert’s life that my research has refuted is Robert’s claim that his mother was Jewish and his father was Catholic. That was a lie. Both of his parents were Jewish. It’s also interesting that he claimed that he was “raised Catholic.” There is absolutely nothing to suggest that. His mother always, in New York, lived in Jewish neighborhoods. Moreover, as will be discussed below, his parents had a Jewish wedding. It’s also downright absurd that he would tell people that he was “half Jewish.” If your mother’s Jewish, you are Jewish, pure and simple. Even if Robert’s father had truly been Catholic (which he wasn’t; his name was Samuel Spiegel and he immigrated to America in 1907, lived with his Jewish, Yiddish-speaking cousins, and spoke Yiddish himself), Robert would have been Jewish because the status of being a Jew comes from the mother. Robert’s mother’s name was Fannie (nee Fleisfeder) Spiegel. Fannie’s parents were Itzik Fleisfeder and Esther Libke (nee Rifkin) Fleisfeder. Esther’s parents were Mendel Rifkin and Sarah whose maiden name is lost to time and the disappearance of the shtetls. Robert’s claim to having had a Catholic father was utterly false, but is part and parcel of his ongoing compulsive daily lying about anything and everything.
Here is the story.
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Kolomyia, formerly known as Kolomea, is a city currently located in the Western Ukraine.
On January 21, 1892 (the same year that Kolomea tallis¹ workers went on strike for better pay and working conditions), Kolomea resident Rachel Katz, wife of Abraham Spiegel, gave birth to a son, who was given the name Schmuel.
On the date that Schmuel Spiegel entered the world, Kolomea was ruled by the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy, and almost half of the city’s residents were Jewish.
In June of 1907, fifteen-year-old Schmuel² boarded the Zeeland, which sailed from Antwerp, Belgium, arriving at New York Harbor on June 18, 1907. The ship’s manifest states that Schmuel’s father had paid for his transport, and that Schmuel intended to reside with his father, Abe, in Brooklyn. Schmuel was granted entrance, and took up residence with his cousin Charles Fetner, who resided at 353 Myrtle Avenue, Brooklyn, in Apartment A with his wife Jennie and their baby daughter Ettie. The sparse record that exists suggests that although Schmuel’s father was, indeed, named Abraham, Abraham lived and died in Europe, without immigrating to America.
The 1910 census describes Samuel’s cousin Charles as a carpenter, who had been married to housewife Jennie for six years, and a father of three children-- Ettie age four, Nathan age two, and baby Jacob, who was not even a year old. Eighteen-year-old Samuel was identified by profession as a “Foreman Sailmaker” in an industry described as “pocket-books.”
Three and a half years after being granted admission, on a bitterly cold winter day, January 4, 1911, Schmuel (now employed as a pocket-book maker, and having Anglicized his name to Samuel) signed and submitted his declaration to become a United States citizen. He stated, in that declaration, that he was born on January 21, 1892.
By 1915, Samuel had left his cousin’s abode and was residing as a lodger in the home of a widow named Rose Hammer, who lived with her two adolescent sons, Meyer and Louis, at 531 E. 5^th Avenue; Samuel was now working as a “driver.”
Two years after the 1915 state census was taken, Samuel had moved back to Myrtle Avenue, but this time at building no. 849. On June 15, 2017, Samuel registered for the draft, and described himself as being a pocketbook maker, working for “A. Shoenfeld,” at 101 Crosby Street, New York. He was single. He stated, in his draft registration, that he was born on January 21, 1892.
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A woman named Fruma Fleisfeder was born in Beltz, Bessarabia, sometime between July 1, 1893, and 1901, to Itzik Fleisfeder and Esther Lieba Rifkin. Fruma (not living up to her pious given name) provided different dates and years of birth to different authorities on different occasions, making it impossible at this point in time to know her true position in the birth order of her family. Regardless, Fruma, who began using the name Fanny upon her entrance to the United States, did have three brothers and a sister who also came to America-- Louis Fleisfeder who was born April 10, 1890, Max Irving Fleisfeder who used October 10, 1892 as his birthdate, Hersch (later known as Harry), whose official birthdate was December 15, 1901, and Sylvia who was born in approximately 1906.
On December 1, 1919, Fruma arrived in New York Harbor on the ship La Touraine, declaring her intention, at entry, to become a United States Citizen. The ship’s manifest describes her as five feet five inches tall, with fair hair, blue eyes, and a fair complexion. The ship’s manifest states that she was, at that time, age 24. If that were correct, she would have been born in 1895.
Fruma (then going by Fanny) took up residence with her cousin Ethel (nee Ruchlin) and Ethel’s husband Samuel Steinberg, on 15^th Street, Brooklyn. Soon thereafter, Ethel gave birth to her first child, a daughter named Theresa. The 1920 census states that Fanny was Russian, didn’t speak English but, rather, spoke Hebrew, and worked as a milliner in a millinery store. The 1920 census also states that Fanny was age 25, which lines up with her being age 24 in the prior year’s ship manifest.
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Sam and Fanny married in Manhattan on January 24, 1925. Their marriage certificate (signed by each of them) identifies Sam as being age 32 (contradicting, by one year, his immigration records which would have placed him at age 33), and identifies Fanny as age 24, the same age that she had claimed to be six years prior, and also contradicting an immigration petition that she would file two decades in the future, which generally placed her birth year at the mid-point of 1893.
If Fanny’s immigration records (which included a petition with her signature on it) were correct, Fanny would also have been age 32 as of her marriage to Samuel, not age 24.
So did Fanny lie in her marriage certificate? Or did she lie in her immigration petition?
The marriage certificate identifies Sam as having been born in Kolomea, Austria, and his father being Abraham, and his mother being Rachel Katz. It identifies Fanny as having been born in Beltz, Russia, to a father named Isaac, and to a mother named Esther Rifkin.
The marriage certificate does not identify Fanny as having any profession, but identifies Sam as being a pocketbook maker.
Sam and Fannie were married at 125 E. 4^th Street, Manhattan, a six-story apartment building with retail units on the ground floor that is now an expensive co-op, with three-bedroom units selling for over $900,000. Present-day real estate advertisements alternatively state that the building was built in 1894, 1903, and 1905.
The first name of the rabbi who officiated was Harry. His surname starts with Reid, but the remaining letters of his signature are illegible. Rabbi Harry identified his residence as 232 Broome Street, which, at the time, was a four-story mixed use building that, among other things, housed Chevrah Ahavath Zedek Anshei Jaskinover.
Witnesses to the marriage were Mayer Budmon and Samuel Steinberg.
*******
Sam and Fanny’s existence was documented next in the 1925 New York State census by census. They were living at 205 S. 2^nd Street. Samuel was still working as a “pocketbook maker.” Fanny was identified as a “housewife.”
Fanny was identified as age 25. This was in accordance with her age as stated on her marriage certificate, but not in accordance with her immigration documents or the 1920 census.
Sam was identified as being age 28, which conflicted with all prior records.
*******
In 1930, the couple were again enumerated, this time in the Federal census. The enumerator, whose signature appears to be “Max Krahn” (or something like that) stated that he obtained the information on April 16, 1930.
Sam was identified as a “framer” of pocketbooks. He was identified as being 36 years of age, which conflicts by two years with the age that he provided to immigration authorities. Perhaps the enumerator was simply sloppy; Samuel was also incorrectly identified in the 1930 census as having been born in “Poland,” with parents who were both also born in “Poland,” notwithstanding other governmental records having identified him as being Austrian. The language he spoke? “Jewish,” according to the enumerator. Was that to mean Hebrew? Yiddish? Both?
Fannie was identified as age 30 (directly in conflict with the information she supplied in her immigration petition, which bears her signature) and as being “Russian,” with parents born in “Russia.” The 1930 census enumerator incorrectly wrote that her year of immigration was 1921. Fannie, too, was identified by the enumerator as speaking the “Jewish” language.
Although later records reflected that Sam and Fannie had a son named Irving who was born in 1926, Irving was not recorded in the 1930 census. Was he missed by the enumerator? Or was he a later-adopted son?
The couple also had a boarder, identified by the 1930 enumerator as one Esther “Larson,” age 40, born in Russia, and similarly a speaker of the “Jewish” language.
*******
The New York Birth Index identifies a baby boy, Robert Spiegel, as one of many babies having been born in the city on January 21, 1932.
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On May 21, 1936, Samuel committed suicide by hanging in the family residence, a tenement apartment located at 1168 Union Avenue, in the Bronx. Although, based upon the date of birth that Samuel used for official governmental purposes he was age 44, the death certificate stated that he was age 43.
Fannie engaged the Gordon Funeral Home to prepare him for burial.
Strangely, although Samuel’s headstone accurately identified him in Hebrew as Schmuel Spiegel, son of Avraham, it inexplicably incorrectly stated that he died at age 40.
Fannie of course knew her husband’s real age; both of them signed the marriage certificate that had Samuel’s correct age listed. Furthermore, Samuel had petitioned for citizenship in 1911, and stated that his date of birth was January 18, 1892.
Why would Fannie commission a headstone with a false age? Perhaps she, like her son, was a compulsive liar. Maybe that’s where Robert got it from.
*******
The 1940 census has Fannie (identified as age 38), Robert (identified as age 8), and Fannie’s son/Robert’s brother, Irving Spiegel, age 13, as living with Fannie’s 72-year-old mother, Esther Fleisfeder, at 1537 Fulton Avenue, in the Bronx. Fannie and Esther were identified as widows. Esther was identified as “U” (unable to work), while Fannie was identified as engaged in housework. No source of income for the family was identified.
No explanation is obvious regarding where Irving was living in the census taken a decade previously. Was he adopted?
There is no “Irving Spiegel” listed in the New York Birth Index for either 1926 or 1927. There is an “Irving Spiegal” listed, who was born April 29, 1926. But he is not Irving Spiegel.
I initially thought that perhaps Irving might be one of the unnamed Baby Boy Spiegels born in New York in 1926 or 1927, and that he left the hospital unnamed because his parents were waiting for his bris before naming him. However, Robert left the hospital with the name Robert. Why wait until the bris to name one child, but not the other?
*******
Slightly less than two years after she was enumerated in the 1940 census, Fannie’s mother Esther died, at home, at 1537 Fulton Avenue. The causes of death were “Coronary Thrombosis, Pulmonary Oedema Nephritis, Hypertension, Arteriosclerosis.” Esther left this world on February 6, 1942, the same day that the W. L. Steed was torpedoed, shelled and sunk less than a hundred nautical miles east of the mouth of Delaware River by a German submarine.
She was buried at Mount Moriah Cemetery in Fairview, New Jersey, the same cemetery where her son-in-law Samuel was interred.
*******
On November 12, 1943, Fannie, now residing at 1985 Bathgate Avenue, in the Bronx, petitioned for citizenship. She claimed, in that document bearing her signature, to be fifty years of age, meaning that if she was telling the truth, she would have been born in approximately 1893.
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On January 19, 1948, Robert (having assumed a false date of birth, that being January 18, 1931), enlisted in the New York National Guard. On paper, he had turned age 17 the day before his enlistment. In reality, he would be turning age 16 two days after his enlistment.
On December 9, 1949, Robert was discharged from the national guard, apparently for having been AWOL.
The discharge document identifies his address as being 1985 Bathgate Avenue, New York City.
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The 1950 census places Robert again at 1985 Bathgate Avenue, New York City. It correctly identifies him as age 18, and states that he worked as a shipping clerk for a newspaper company.
According to the 1950 census, Robert resided at the Bathgate Avenue address with his mother Fannie, who was purportedly still age 50 (seven years after she had previously claimed to immigration authorities to be age 50), and Robert’s brother Irving, age 24.
Irving was listed as unemployed and moreover, according to the census record, had not worked for the prior year. Fannie was employed full-time as a milliner in a hat factory.
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Military records reflect that Irving J. Spiegel, born in 1926 and a resident of 1985 Bathgate Avenue, who had completed two years of high school education, had flown bomber planes over Germany during the war. In his military documents, Irving described himself as single, with two dependents.
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On February 2, 1929, a baby girl given the name Aileen Beverly Leone Maxwell was born in Lucea, Hanover, Jamaica, to William Maxwell and Daisy (nee Tibbits) Maxwell. Her birth was registered by her parents.
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In 1954, Robert Spiegel and Aileen Maxwell were married in New York City. Their marriage license was given License No. 10284.
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The following year, the Kingston, Jamaica, Gleaner reported on June 6, 1955:
Miss Leonie Maxwell, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. W. J. Maxwell, was married recently in New York City to Mr. Robert Spiegel of the U.S.A. Both the bride and groom are students at the New York Institute of Dietetics. The bride left the island nearly two years ago for New York. Her wedding gown was chantilly lace and nylon tulle. The bodice was fashioned with a wide, scalloped neckline and elbow-length sleeves. Her three tier skirt of chantilly lace was over pleated nylon tulle. Her fingertip-length veil was adorned with pearls.
*******
If the claim regarding the couple studying at the New York Institute of Dietetics was even true, their studies at this institution didn’t last long. In May of 1956, a number of advertisements bearing Robert’s photograph appeared in the Kingston, Jamaica Gleaner. The advertisements described Robert as a psychologist, author, lecturer, and “practitioner in auto suggestion,” and identified him as “Dr. J. Robert Spiegel.” Readers were invited to come meet Robert on May 21, 1956, at Record Plaza, where he would be autographing his “latest” “world-wide” 33 and 1/3 RPM record, “How to Stop Smoking in 7 days by Auto-Suggestion.”
*******
On May 1, 1959, three residents of 1985 Bathgate Avenue, Bronx, New York, came through customs, having returned from a trip to Jamaica. They identified themselves as “Robert D. Spiegel” born in New York (in addition to giving himself a false middle initial, Robert neglected to complete the I-94-A fully, specifically by leaving his birthdate blank), “Leonie A. Spiegel” born in Jamaica on February 2, 1929, and their minor daughter, and “Sharon S. Spiegel,” born in New York. Someone also neglected to fully complete Sharon’s I-94-A, specifically by leaving her birthdate blank.
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Leonie had taken Sharon to Jamaica two years earlier. There are no publicly available records pertaining to their outbound transport from the United States to Jamaica. There is, however, a record pertaining to their return to the United States. That publicly available record does not provide their address, but Sharon is identified as weighing 1 stone 5 pounds (a total of 19 pounds), and Leonie is identified as weighing six stone 5 pounds (89 pounds). Interestingly, Leonie used the name “Aileen Spiegel,” and the records assert that Aileen has no middle initial. Aileen was / is her true legal first name, but it is a lie to say that she has no middle initial.
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Almost two years later, on January 5, 1958, the Kingston, Jamaica Gleaner reported:
Staying at the Tamarind Hotel are Mr. and Mrs. Bob Spiegel and daughter Sharon of Miami, Florida. Mrs. Spiegel is the former Leonie Maxwell, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. W. J. Maxwell of Lucea and has been in the United States for several years. A welcome party in their honour was given last Saturday night by Messers. Horrace, Ray, and Dennis Maxwell, brothers of Mrs. Spiegel. It was a very enjoyable affair.
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In 1963, roughly five years after their 1958 visit to Jamaica, Leonie petitioned for naturalization, in Louisiana. Although I am in possession of the index showing that she petitioned in 1963, I do not possess the petition itself. However, the fact that she petitioned for naturalization in Louisiana demonstrates that that at least she was residing in Louisiana at the time. Since she stated that she didn’t leave Robert’s side for over 40 years, presumably Robert, young Sharon, and also baby Michelle were living in Louisiana at that time.
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People who knew Robert personally relate that he stated that Leonie was a Cayman Island heiress. She wasn’t. Not only was she not born in the Cayman Islands, Leonie’s father’s estate was litigated (with the judge ruling against her) long before Robert started telling people that his wife was a Cayman Islands heiress.
Leonie’s father did leave an estate, but not to her. On November 9, 1967, the Gleaner reported that the Supreme Court had upheld the will of the late William Josiah Maxwell, the father of Horrace, Ray, Dennis, and Leonie, and the husband of Daisy Maxwell, who had contended that William’s signature was a forgery and that the person to whom his estate had been bequeathed had exercised undue influence. The court disagreed. The article reported:
The estate, which one of the executors described as “a sizeable one,” included 112 acres of land at Paradise and three houses at Lucea, Hanover.
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Robert apparently wasn’t banking on Leonie’s inheritance in any event. In May of 1966, advertisements appeared in the Houston Chronicle with Robert’s photo on them, selling a record that would purportedly assist people in stopping smoking in seven days. He identified himself as “Dr. J. Robert Spiegel.”
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On page 55 of the November 15, 1969, San Antonio, Texas Express and News, was an advertisement stating:
SCIENCE OF THE MIND
Dr. J. Robert Spiegel of Houston, director and founder of the Science of the Mind Foundation there, is conducting Sunday evening meetings at 7:30 p.m. in the Sheraton Inn, 1400 Austin Hwy.
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On page 4 of the July 10, 1970 edition of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram was a photograph of Robert, with a brief local news blurb:
GUEST – Dr. J Robert Spiegel of Houston, Science of Mind Foundation director, will speak at the 10:45 a.m. service tomorrow in First Church of Religious Science, 2001 6^th Ave. His subject is “What Religious Science Teaches.”
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On page 8 of the June 18, 1970 edition of the Houston Daily Cougar was this advertisement:
HOME OF UNIVERSAL LIFE
“Teaching Aquarian Meditation For The New Age
Meets Every Sunday, 11:00 A.M. At The World Trade Center Auditorium
Houston, Texas
DR. J. ROBERT SPIEGEL (BRAHMADANDA) DIRECTOR - FOUNDER
Aquarian Meditation Initiation for the first time offered through correspondence. For those sincere students wishing to bypass evolution and enter the 5th Kingdom. Initiation includes meditation technique, Mantra, how to "live” 24 hours a day, and much more. Write for application today:
P.O. Box 53328 Houston, Texas 052
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From the Galveston Daily News, May 02, 1971, Pg. 31:
AQUARIAN MEDITATION SOCIETY PRESENTS DR. J. ROBERT SPIEGEL AN AUTHOR, LECTURER, TEACHER OF YOGA & SELF DEVELOPMENT WILL SPEAK ON MAN, MIND & THE UNIVERSE WEDNESDAY, MAY 5th AT 7:30 P.M. IN THE RECREATION CENTER HARRIS COUNTY PARK, NASA RD. # 1 ALL WELCOME — DONATION $1.50
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The 1972 Spiritual Community Guide lists Robert twice, in the San Diego area. First, on page 117, using his alias “J. Robert Spiegel”:
THE TEMPLE OF METAPHYSICAL ABUNDANCE. J. Robert Spiegel, 1118 Torrey Pines Rd., 92037. Teaches yoga, nutrition, ESP, metaphysics, psychology, mind control
Second, on page 124, in which he, as one might have predicted, was masquerading as some sort of medical man or scholar:
"AQUARIAN MEDITATION SOCIETY, U. S. Grant Hotel, Attn: Dr. Robert Spiegel, 453-7588"
*******
Also in 1972, Volume 25 of San Diego Magazine published in November advertised gift certificates for the “Astrology Research Center.” “Give your loved one the gift of love. Only $50” said the advertisement. Where was this entity located? At 1118 Torrey Pines Road, the same address as Robert’s Temple of Metaphysical Abundance. The advertisement purported that person identified as “Lil Canaan” was the director. The telephone number was 459-6400.
In 2013, the San Diego Union Tribune published the obituary for Lillian Mulonas, who founded the La Jolla “Astrology Research Center.” At this point in time, unless Robert Adams’ only surviving daughter, Michelle/ Prentiss/ Avantae knows the answer and talks, we will not know what relationship, if any, existed between Robert’s Temple of Metaphysical Abundance and Lilian’s Astrology Research Center, both of which were located at 1118 Torrey Pines Road in 1972.
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From the July 12, 1973, San Diego Reader:
BRAHMADANDA FOUNDATION
“Teachings of the Cosmic Way” meets Sundays, 11:00 a.m., U.S. Grant Hotel, Crystal Room. Free admission, refreshments served. Call 453-7588 for more information.
*******
On page 51 of the June 29, 1974 edition of Phoenix’s Arizona Republic was the following advertisement:
Speaker from San Diego
Dr. J. Robert Spiegel from San Diego, a traveler and lecturer, will speak at 8 p.m., Friday in Universal Series Center, 4340 N. Seventh Ave., on the topic “Science of Being.”
He is the founder of the “Aquarian Meditation Society” in Jamaica and is founder and publisher of “Equinox,” a philosophical newspaper.
*******
The family (Adams or Spiegel, however one might want to refer to them) have resided in (that I know of) New York, Miami, Jamaica, Louisiana, La Jolla, Los Angeles, Houston, New Mexico, Hawaii, Las Vegas, Scottsdale, Sedona, and a number of cities in North Carolina.
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In at least the 1990’s, before he left for Sedona, Robert Adams used the address PO Box 7210, Jordan Avenue, D-30, Canoga Park, CA. He used that address on correspondence he wrote, and on at least one published document. Who else used that address? The data aggregators show that this address was also used by a Michelle K. Spiegel, and a person going by the name Leonie Maxwell. Michelle and Leonie also used other addresses associated with Robert, those being 1815 Willis Avenue Panorama City, and 21551 Burbank Boulevard, Woodland Hills.
*******
The California Birth Index shows that Michelle K. Spiegel was born on October 1, 1960, in Los Angeles County, to a mother with the maiden name Maxwell.
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In later life, Michelle used the addresses above that are associated with Robert and Leonie, as well as an address of 12004 Vanowen Street #14, North Hollywood. This is the same address at which Denniston Keith Maxwell, one of Leonie’s younger brothers, resided at, after his immigration to the United States. Denniston was one of Michelle’s uncles.
In a recent Facebook posting, Michelle/Avantae stated: “Never knew anything personal about said uncles, etc. Never asked, never cared.” Really? She shared an address with an uncle? Her uncle lived within a few minutes’ drive from her parents, and Michelle/Avantae never knew anything about him?
As an aside, Michelle/Avantae alleged (or admitted) that she “never cared” about anything personal regarding her uncles. If that is true, what does that tell us about Michelle/Avantae’s fundamental character? Antisocial? Psychopathic? Narcissistic in the extreme?
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On August 2, 1996, Michelle, going by the name Avantae E. Deven, married Tyson Ruben Alvarez in Las Vegas. The two had addresses in common in Arizona, Nevada, and Montana.
*******
Robert “Adams” died on or about March 2, 1997, in Sedona, Arizona.
Shortly after that, in the spring of 1997, “Nicole Adams” and “Avantae Deven” (both aliases; the correct legal names are Aileen Beverly Leonie Spiegel and Michelle K. Spiegel) purchased a home together in Sedona, on Navahopi Road. Shortly after the purchase, “Nicole” quit-claimed her portion to “Avantae.”
On July 17, 2001, Tyson, still married to “Avantae,” quit-claimed any interest in the Navahopi property to “Avantae,” and had the county recorder send the deed to “Avantae” in care of the Infinity Institute, at that time located at 9101 W. Sahara Ave. Suite 105 C29 (in other words, a private post box), in Las Vegas.
Avantae divorced Tyson in 2006. She had, by then, moved to North Carolina. She “served” Tyson via publication summons, claiming that she was unable to find him, despite his information being on multiple data aggregators.
You can go to various Facebook groups, and other sources, to pull up the documents that people have uncovered showing who is associated with the "Infinity Institute," and in what fashion, and also the addresses that they have used over the years.
In any event, this is the information regarding Robert that I think that people need to be aware of.
Why turn to a known liar and con man for spiritual guidance?
1A tallis is a prayer shawl.
2The ship’s manifest states that he was age 14, which conflicts by one year with what Samuel identified as his date of birth. These errors are not uncommon; his fare could have been purchased when he was age 14 and the records not updated.

Hello my reddit family,
I am going through just a harsh time and knew I needed to vent out.
I met a guy on a dating on last April 2023 and as soon as we matched the phone calls and messages where non-stop. He lived three hours away and was always pursuing and ensisting to come and meet me. When we finally did, there was an instant connection and attraction, its like we have known eachother before. Our conversation , our joke, everything came so natural. He stayed the weekend to be with me and had to leave due to work. We continued to talk as always and he ensisted on seeing me the following weekend but I couldnt because I had plans with my family. That weekend we started our day the same talking and texting and then out of no where half way through the day he told me he wasnt feeling good , that he was going to bed early and didn’t call me until the next day morning( Sunday). Same issue occured we talked the whole morning and then he made up an excuse and we didnt talk the whole night until Monday morning he magically appeared. The following weekend after that one he told me he missed and wanted to see me so hee booked us a fun weekend at palm springs. While at palm springs spring he introduced me to one of his closest friends he told them about future plans he had in midn with me. He would always re assure me before going to bed that he really liked me and is serious about me. We then had sex but before I asked him if he was seeing anybody else , before we had unprotected sex and he said no he was only seeing me.
We had sex and spend an amazing weekend togethe and I though to myself this guy is really the one he had so many things I loved. He was ambitious, he was set already had a good job, studied, his next step in life was building a family, we liked the same music hobbies, etc he was the one in my head.
The following weekend after Palm Springs, he told me he was going to a wedding and dunes with his cousins and didnt hear from him only in the mornings. On Sunday, he asked if we could meet half way that he really wanted to introduce me to his other best friend but I was unable to go on such short notice. He was understanding and continue his sunday with his cousins.
That night idk why I had a feeling that something wasnt right. I didnt want to think bad about him but idk i felt something. Two weekends where he magically disappears but always checks up on me the next day , i was battling in my head stopping myself from thinking bad but my evil thoughts beat me to it and I started to investigate.
Idk where to even look because, I obviously didnt have any mutual friends we lived 3 hours apart but decided to go through his recent followers. And to not make this story any longer lol. I came across a girl he was following who had a public account she was younger than him by 6 years she was 23 he is 28 and I saw her recent stories and saw him in them. She really didnt show him completly but I was able to tell It was him. I saw they where in the same similar setting to where he was last weekend and this weekend with his “cousins”. My heart dropped, I was so sad and fustrated and didnt know what to do. I started stalking her, her friends, family , comparing myself etc. I didnt know whether I should tell him something, or not. He had told me before we had sex he wasnt seeing anyone. I was hurt and didnt know what to do. The following week i acted as nothing happened. He was the same lovey dovey but I kept stalking the girl and noticed he would see her during the week when he would tell me he was at the gym, she also lived closer to him.
I didnt know what to do, he was making future plans with me to take me to a concert and planning the following weekend booking a hotel and making reservations to see eachother again. But idk what to feel or do. Until one day I heard nothing from him but a goodmorning and saw he was with her. So I finally question him I obviously didnt tell him that I knew who it was but asked gim if he was seeing anybody else , the reason is because the past days he been a little off and I just wantes to make sure. He got offended and told me he wasnt that he is always planning thing with me or eants to see me. He is booking future events with me and there isnt a day that goes by that he does not keep in touch with me. Then i told him I just wanted to reassure since I really liked gim and I was seeing anybidy else but him and he has been off. Right after that he send me a text how he felt i was accusing him of aomething and that it was too early on to begin with that and then stopped texting me after that. A week later he blocked me from instagram and since then I have not yet stopped looking at the other he chise. He eventuallt continued to pursue her and till this day they are atill together. I stopped nyself from looking them up for months but then temptation beat me and I did hoping my evil thought he wouldnt be with her that he would do the aame rhing to her he did with me . But they are happily together they seems so happy always traveling and doing all the things he has said he would do with me. There relationsjip seems perfect her family loved him he sings to her and protects her and I cant stop comparing myself to her.
Idk what to do its been a year and I am still not over it every guy I meet i compare them to him.
I am so fustrated. Sorry focr the long post just needed to vent out.

I will be moving to his country, we are getting a visa through marriage. We are planning our court wedding and of course the paper work has been a headache. If you are the one moving, as expected it would be a lot more work for the person moving. I accept and have been prepared for this. The documents I need have a 3 month time expiration. I live in a big state, and have to make 4 hour drives to attain some of these, it’s been a lot of back and forth, taking time off, etc. I have a disability where I can’t drive, public transport doesn’t really exist here so it’s made these trips a little more complicated. we have started this process in February. My fiancé has been the one who was talking to the courthouse in his country to ask what’s needed, we have to fill out the application in person. We were waiting on one last document and the plan was for me to put my two weeks and fly out. (There urgency since the documents expire)
Here’s my issue. He can be a huge procrastinator, I don’t have a problem with it, I’ve accepted it-he gets things done at the end of the day but I have had a few talks where it made me feel like efforts aren’t returned. I told him how such a big move I’m making and deadlines and requirements are so specific, we both have to be on top of it. I asked him at the beginning of this process, do we need an appointment for the application. So we can have it reserved, I can plan my flight out my two weeks, around that date. He said no. Ok cool, fast forward my last document is here, I call him yay we get to see eachother. I put in my two weeks, preparing for my flight-I’ll be there next week. He knows all this, I update him as it happens. He tells me today that he called and we do need an appointment. They do not have one until a month. I’m pretty furious right now for a lot of reasons. I don’t really know how to go about this, I would’ve stayed at my job longer, would’ve waited on some documents, the trips I made to get those I would’ve changed. I asked him multiple times prior. I told him I need space and I don’t really want to talk to him atm, he said he took the closest date and apologized. I just feel hurt because I feel under appreciated in a way and like my efforts/urgency were useless and not reciprocated.

I (33M) am in a year and a half relationship with my best friend (29F)We recently got engaged but there is a lingering problem that is at the moment my biggest shame and regret so why not ask strangers on the internet for advice or judgement?
When we starting dating, she made a couple uneasy jokes about “leaving the lotion by the bed” when she came over, in reference to watching porn and masturbation. It happened a couple times and then I lied about doing so to try and avoid discussing about it but it course she knew. She was mad about me lying and then I tried to hide it again a few months later and caught once again ( I can’t lie for shit). That last time was a real fall out and I took it as a pivotal moment for change. I started therapy, and looked to not engage with porn or masturbation after that. Well, five months go by and things are going great and I’m doing as I said I would. And then of course, I messed up. I didn’t even watch a video but just browsed the homepage of porn hub. Which as soon as I stopped I knew it was weird but it also felt like a way to scratch the itch without going all the way. No real excuse. But I go about my day and mostly forget about it.
Another day goes by. She periodically asks to see my phone and I give it to her everytime. This is how she’s found out everytime. She asked me if I had anything to tell her, and I instantly remembered and knew I had to tell her. So I did and now it’s all fucked. She thinks I haven’t made any progress, even after I told her generally what I was talking about at therapy and I also feel like she could be right and I haven’t made any progress. Is there any hope after this backslide or is her trust lost to me forever?
TLDR: I backslid in my quitting of porn and my fiancé may leave me. Do I get to ask her to stay?

So this happened a few years back when I (19F) was still in school. I (back then 15-16) was a pretty popular girl and had a lot of friends. Was dating one of my friends (back then 14-15M) in the friend group back then. He was in a year below me since he had to retake a class. After a few months of dating we both became toxic to each other. I would lash out at him for stupid things I regret. Back then I didn't know I had Borderline Personality disorder so I had a really hard time controlling my emotions.
After a few weeks of just being toxic to each other he started to threaten me. He always texted me stuff like "you really shouldn't live anymore" and would threaten to take my life. I brought up the courage to break up with him and he screamed at me and threatened to take his life but I just left and ignored him. He never tried to take his life but he kept on telling everyone that he would. He would act all depressed at school and act out as if I was a bad person. (he told me two years later after everything calmed down that he was just doing it for attention and apologized to me) During this time I had my final exams so I was really stressed out and was just ignoring everyone.
One day he texts me "Go to counselors office before class." after not talking to me for two weeks and I went to the counselors office in the morning. I knew her well because I would often talk to her about family issues. I sat down in her office and saw him sitting there already and crying. I was very confused and she said "he came to me yesterday because he really misses you and wants to apologize". I looked over at him and saw him looking all sad over to me as he quietly said "I'm really sorry".
I told both of them that I would accept the apology but I wouldn't want to get back together with him. He looked shocked and kinda angry. She was kinda shocked too and looked at me and asked why I wouldn't. I told her that we are just not meant to be with each other and that he was treating me really badly the past few weeks and I had anger issues I need to sort out. She just scoffed and said "Well you kinda deserved being treated badly from what I heard that you did" and I was really surprised by this and just stood up and left for class without saying anything. I never came back to talk to her about my issues.
After that incident he would always talk bad things about me behind my back to my friends and his whole class. The year after I had some more final exams coming up and he came up to me with his friend group like 10 minutes before I had a final exam and I was just looking over the presentation and getting myself ready. He then accused me of telling my friend that his girlfriend is cheating on him. She was in my ex boyfriends friend group and my friend was dating her at the time. I never talked to him about her and they were screaming at me moments before a really long and stressful exam. I told them I didn't do anything and went into my final exam sobbing from the stress and anxiety. Thankfully the teachers said it's fine and I can take a moment to breathe since I was the last one to present that day. (Thankfully still got an A on the exam :D)
My ex then told me I should go with him to the counselor that day and it was basically the same rodeo. But this time I decided to record the conversation because of what happened the last time. He kept on saying that we should try again and apologizing. And the counselor just looked at me and said "you know there's so many girls that wanna date him. You should be lucky he wants you. He never treated you badly you just used it as an excuse. You should forgive him and try to be with him again he really loves you." I then told her about the things he used to say and how it once almost got physical and she just smiled and said "that's how relationships go. Men are the bosses in relationships and if you don't behave they are allowed to lay hands on you to get you to act right." I walked out and heard him scream something along the lines of "come back here you *b-word* we aren't done!"
I walked straight to the principals office and told her about it and she obviously defended the counselor and that she would never say that. So I brought up my phone and showed her the recording. She was shocked and said she would handle it. It was the end of the year so I didn't know what happened but from what I know now she got removed from the school and got her teaching and psychology license suspended.
Now me and him talk once in a while we aren't really friends just update each other on how our lives go and stuff like that. We both apologized about what happened and he said it was really messed up what the counselor said back then but he didn't know any better so he didn't say anything.
Sorry for any spelling mistakes english isn't my first language. I'd love to answer any questions if any come up.

Last friday I swiped on a girl, thinking that if she swipes back we can have some fun over text you know. And she did swipe back, and proved to be really nice and cute, but also very fast forward. She wanted to meet up, right away. And it was in the middle of the night.
I told her that she was a little bit fast, but that we could go out the next day. Spontaneous but not bad right?
I was very nervous, like I took the date serious ofc, and she was still very cute and charming when we met. Like a true lady. She picked me up in her car, paid for the food, and bombed me with compliments, told me how beautiful I was. Like once every minute...
What can I say. I'm a sucker for that kind of attention, but it was almost too much. It felt rude not responding with the same things back. She's cute, that's a fact. But even if I alos can come across as fast forward and very interested I still need time. My biggest red flag is that I'm a people pleaser, I validate and compliment people all the time, that not a bad thing per say. But it can cause a lot of trouble while dating.
Every time she gave me a compliment I responded with the same thing back at her, while also being genuine and open about what I liked about her. If I had felt no attraction what so ever I would have let her know. But their is some attraction there, and it felt nice acting on it.
After the dinner we landed at my place, and we barely made it through the door before we laid cuddling in my bed, kissing and hugging.
She wanted it, I wanted it, like I have been single for over a year. I didn't only want it, I was craving it. But I have a complicated relation with sex, and when I noticed how willing she was I asked if it was ok if we just cuddled, and she was fine with that. But now she didn't tell me how cute I was anymore, but how hot and sexy I was.
She was grinding against me, I could feel how frustrated she was (she even told me) So.. I decided to please her, only with my fingers though.
She asked for more but I calmly told her that I wasn't comfortable with that. Please understand, It wasn't a problem. I didn't give her a clear explonation to why I didn't wanna do it, and when I gave in I get that she thought that I had changed my mind. I was OK with pleasing her, but not the other way around.
I felt that our date was a little bit too intense. Like... All the cute cuddling and affection towards each other. It was nice but if someone would have seen us they would have though that we were romantically in love. And I didn't know how to tone it down without hurting her.
Well, she'll be gone in the morning I thought. But then my friend called me and told me that she's still pissed at me over a thing and didn't want me to stay at her place when I was fixing a thing in her town on the upcoming Monday. My date had heard the conversation, and told me that it was chill cause she could drive me on Monday.
It was really cute of her, and it solved my problems, so I said ok, and we spent all weekend together. Making everything even more intense and complicated. Cause it was nice, she is damn nice. But I don't know, I don't feel that I wanna get serious with her, but now I already am... Like we were like lovers this weekend. Holding hands in public, kissing and giving long hugs all the time, being all cute and dorky with each other. Grabbing... (You know)
And I know that she have STRONG feelings for me. Like she is all over me. Lovebombing me all the time, and now she asked if I wanna hang out the upcoming weekend. And I said yes, cause it would've been nice. But I feel so bad, cause I'm almost certainly sure that I don't wanna get in a relationship with her. Like I'm posetivt. So now it's like I'm just using her and giving her false hope.
I don't wanna hurt her, I don't wanna stop seeing her, but I don't wanna commit. What should I do? She's really vulnerable which makes this so much worse. She's wonderful and deserves the same commitment and affection back. What should I do!?

I 23F just started talking to a coworker 23M and we’ve had one date and he has flaked on me twice.
We met on hinge. I actually swore off all dating apps for a long time but stupidly I made an account to look specifically for my gym crush but I saw my coworkers page and decided to try since I’ve always thought he was cute. We have never talked at work before matching on hinge since we work at complete opposite sides of the store and we have no reason to interact or run into each other while working.
The first time we made plans was for a Monday and he never texted until it was too late saying “sorry I got home late “ or “sorry I just woke up” which really bothered me but he rescheduled and we then hung out Wednesday. He was super sweet such a gentleman everything was great…..
After the date it just felt different, the texting wasn’t as good as before (and I understand not texting 24/7 so you can have stuff to talk about in person but the vibe was just off). We did then run into each other at work a few days after and it was fine and casual, we hugged each other and went on about our days.
I asked him when can I see him again and we made plans for Monday again and he flaked again. Something came up and he had to babysit or something which is fine but all day I just knew he was going to cancel, there was no specific reason why I thought it was just my intuition telling me “don’t get your hopes up girl” but ofc I got my hopes up and he canceled and we made plans again for Wednesday.
I honestly think it might be coming to an end from here I’m not sure, today is Tuesday and we’re supposed to hangout tomorrow, he hasn’t even texted me back since last night and we haven’t even made plans for Wednesday we just rescheduled our hangout for Wednesday. It’s really upsetting because we had such a great time on our date and he seemed interested and he says stuff to make it seem like he’s wanting to see me again but I can’t tell whether it’s genuine or just to be nice. I’ve never been in a relationship so stuff like this has happened to me my entire life and I can’t tell if I’m just being crazy and letting past situations reflect on this current one and I’m pushing him away or if it’s just gonna end up like all the others.
He is a nice guy but we don’t have much in common and part of me feels like if he could so easily cancel our plans early on why would this be someone I want to keep seeing. I think I’m partially being crazy but I just wish I knew what he was thinking.
Has anyone else gone through something like this? and can you tell me how it turned out and how can I continue living my life without overthinking whether or not he’s going to reach out or cancel again, I really like him so far so i don’t want it to end but inconsistencies early on is already a bad sign. Right?

Long time lurker, first time posting because I’m in need of advice and it’s eating away at me. I can’t really speak about this to anyone in my circle.
I apologize for the long post in advance.
So, my (33F) boyfriend (36M) and I have been together a little over two years. I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone this much.
Bit of relevant background information: My BF was married for 9, almost 10 years. He has two kids from said marriage. (2 boys). She cheated on him with at least 3 people (that he knows of) and only cared about how much money he could provide for the family and disregarded his feelings constantly. (Telling him to “man up”, “stop crying and be a man”, “it’s not a real job unless you’re making six figures”, “this guy at work has bigger muscles than you, he’s so hot to look at”), would drain their bank account on whatever she pleased, including supporting her best friend’s drug habit and run ins with the law. The list goes on. She was his first….everything. Kiss, sex, marriage, etc.
I found out recently that about a month or two after we started dating, he was flirting with/hyping up his ex wife through text messages, and was expressing doubts about me. I never felt the need to go through his phone till I just had that gut feeling. I'm an overthinker, and I remember seeing how much he used to be glued to his phone vs now years later. It was always conveniently his ex's name popping up as well. Seeing as to how we agreed to an open phone policy early on in the relationship due to trust issues from past relationships, I decided to act on it. I fucked around and found out.
Hyping her up was obviously an issue on its own; However, he also seemed to be putting me down in the process of trying to make her feel better about herself. She was complaining about her insecurities. He was saying stuff like “Stop it. You’re the most attractive person I’ve ever been with. You’re a goddamn smoke show”. Then proceeded to list all of her positive physical attributes, along with how he didn’t know if he really found me physically attractive.
Despite how she treated him, they had a very active sex life. He was simultaneously complaining to her that we (him and I) weren’t having sex enough at the time (fair, I was anxious about sex in general due to past trauma from multiple abusive relationships). It took me a couple months to feel “safe enough” to open up sexually and for us to have a regular sex life. whereas he was telling her how he missed sex with her, they just should’ve made more time dedicated to their sex life around the kids.
The thing is, I never felt any indication of this at the time. He seemed to be understanding of my past sexual trauma, my hesitancies to trust another man, ensuring me that he was willing to wait as long as it took for me to feel comfortable with him (including sexually), everything. Always telling me I was attractive in various ways. How excited he was to get to know me; Would constantly tell me no woman made him feel so valued, like he was worth their time. Now I can’t help but to wonder what else he seemingly lied about. Or how much did he even mean what he said in the beginning while still fawning over her at the same time unbeknownst to me.
After those few text messages though, this type of talk seemed to stop. It went to strictly business only. Only interacting when its about the kids. No multiple paragraph messages reminiscing on their love for each other. No telling her how hot she is compared to me, nothing. They just stopped around the time he started to tell me he loved me.
Long story less long, I confronted him about these messages when I found them last week. I sobbed, he sobbed. He apologized profusely, stating he was just so unsure of me in the beginning and resorted to someone that was a source of comfort in the past (which I don’t get because, well, she treated him awful for the last like…6 years of their marriage). He then said something about how she was the only person he went to for external problems in the past because he doesn’t have many friends and he would vent to her about work, his family, etc. So again, she was basically all he knew from a young age. He then stated I’ve shown him what a healthy relationship is supposed to be like. That he feels he had rose colored glasses even then. To where he felt like he could somehow re-kindle with her. But he knows now that if he ended up doing that, he would’ve been miserable anyway. He made it a point to tell me he loves ME, not her; And that he doesn’t want to be with anyone else but me, how much he loves me, etc.
He has basically been my constant source of happiness, safety, and comfort until now. Now all I see are the text messages. I have a hard time feeling like he’s truly even attracted to me. He DOES constantly tell me I’m beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, a “goddess”, etc. But he also did in the beginning of our relationship when those messages were sent to her. Or maybe he’s only slightly attracted to me but regardless, in my mind, I am always being compared to his ex wife and I just don’t…measure up physically. I know I have quite a bit of insecurities and self esteem issues when it comes to my body/face. I have struggled feeling pretty/hot/whatever enough since I was a child. (Long story but for very valid reasons). However, before these messages, I was able to ignore them and just be happy. Now? I’m just not as pretty as her. Her hair is longer than mine. Her makeup is better than mine. I’m curvy/thick, she’s skinny and in perfect shape. I can’t stop comparing myself to her and I’m…going insane. Or so it feels. I just can’t compete with her physical beauty. I can’t compete with her having all of his firsts. I feel like she was the love of his life simply because of their time together and the fact she gave him his pride and joy-his kids. I mean, who forgets their first love? I can't compete with that bond they share. I can’t stop crying about it.
I guess I'm just curious if anyone here went through something similar, and maybe has some tips for finding their self worth again? Feeling pretty again? Or if anyone thinks him and I can move past this without the constant sting of betrayal looming around.
TL;DR: Boyfriend emotionally cheated on me with his ex wife at the beginning of our relationship. I’m finding out now after 2 years together. He states it was due to being unsure of me in the beginning of our relationship, but he’s never been more sure of me now. He was unsure of marrying ever again until he met me How do I recover from the insecurities this has caused to be brought back out unexpectedly? Was anyone here able to move on after something similar?

Hello my reddit family,
I am going through just a harsh time and knew I needed to vent out.
I met a guy on a dating on last April 2023 and as soon as we matched the phone calls and messages where non-stop. He lived three hours away and was always pursuing and ensisting to come and meet me. When we finally did, there was an instant connection and attraction, its like we have known eachother before. Our conversation , our joke, everything came so natural. He stayed the weekend to be with me and had to leave due to work. We continued to talk as always and he ensisted on seeing me the following weekend but I couldnt because I had plans with my family. That weekend we started our day the same talking and texting and then out of no where half way through the day he told me he wasnt feeling good , that he was going to bed early and didn’t call me until the next day morning( Sunday). Same issue occured we talked the whole morning and then he made up an excuse and we didnt talk the whole night until Monday morning he magically appeared. The following weekend after that one he told me he missed and wanted to see me so hee booked us a fun weekend at palm springs. While at palm springs spring he introduced me to one of his closest friends he told them about future plans he had in midn with me. He would always re assure me before going to bed that he really liked me and is serious about me. We then had sex but before I asked him if he was seeing anybody else , before we had unprotected sex and he said no he was only seeing me.
We had sex and spend an amazing weekend togethe and I though to myself this guy is really the one he had so many things I loved. He was ambitious, he was set already had a good job, studied, his next step in life was building a family, we liked the same music hobbies, etc he was the one in my head.
The following weekend after Palm Springs, he told me he was going to a wedding and dunes with his cousins and didnt hear from him only in the mornings. On Sunday, he asked if we could meet half way that he really wanted to introduce me to his other best friend but I was unable to go on such short notice. He was understanding and continue his sunday with his cousins.
That night idk why I had a feeling that something wasnt right. I didnt want to think bad about him but idk i felt something. Two weekends where he magically disappears but always checks up on me the next day , i was battling in my head stopping myself from thinking bad but my evil thoughts beat me to it and I started to investigate.
Idk where to even look because, I obviously didnt have any mutual friends we lived 3 hours apart but decided to go through his recent followers. And to not make this story any longer lol. I came across a girl he was following who had a public account she was younger than him by 6 years she was 23 he is 28 and I saw her recent stories and saw him in them. She really didnt show him completly but I was able to tell It was him. I saw they where in the same similar setting to where he was last weekend and this weekend with his “cousins”. My heart dropped, I was so sad and fustrated and didnt know what to do. I started stalking her, her friends, family , comparing myself etc. I didnt know whether I should tell him something, or not. He had told me before we had sex he wasnt seeing anyone. I was hurt and didnt know what to do. The following week i acted as nothing happened. He was the same lovey dovey but I kept stalking the girl and noticed he would see her during the week when he would tell me he was at the gym, she also lived closer to him.
I didnt know what to do, he was making future plans with me to take me to a concert and planning the following weekend booking a hotel and making reservations to see eachother again. But idk what to feel or do. Until one day I heard nothing from him but a goodmorning and saw he was with her. So I finally question him I obviously didnt tell him that I knew who it was but asked gim if he was seeing anybody else , the reason is because the past days he been a little off and I just wantes to make sure. He got offended and told me he wasnt that he is always planning thing with me or eants to see me. He is booking future events with me and there isnt a day that goes by that he does not keep in touch with me. Then i told him I just wanted to reassure since I really liked gim and I was seeing anybidy else but him and he has been off. Right after that he send me a text how he felt i was accusing him of aomething and that it was too early on to begin with that and then stopped texting me after that. A week later he blocked me from instagram and since then I have not yet stopped looking at the other he chise. He eventuallt continued to pursue her and till this day they are atill together. I stopped nyself from looking them up for months but then temptation beat me and I did hoping my evil thought he wouldnt be with her that he would do the aame rhing to her he did with me . But they are happily together they seems so happy always traveling and doing all the things he has said he would do with me. There relationsjip seems perfect her family loved him he sings to her and protects her and I cant stop comparing myself to her.
Idk what to do its been a year and I am still not over it every guy I meet i compare them to him.
I am so fustrated. Sorry focr the long post just needed to vent out.

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