Helena - Courtlady of Lannisport

Part 1

Reddit Account: SunstriderAlar
Discord Tag: u/SunstriderAlar
Name and House: Helena
Age: 22
Cultural Group: Westerman
Appearance: Helena is a young woman with soft doe-eyes, and unmistakable curling, golden hair. Raised by smallfolk, and Septa’s she wears her hair up and away from her face to ensure she does not let it get wet while cleaning or in her mouth while singing. She has delicate, porcelain, pale skin and cloudy soft blue eyes. No taller than 5’5” and is most often dressed in conservative simple fashions gathered by herself, or more elegant options gifted to her by a doting patron for formal events. Never shy to present her opinion, Helena has seen the world change, and her place in it numerous times. She is unafraid to do what she must, but knows the role of a woman.
Helena prefers to wear blue and yellow, the colours of Lord Swyft’s old sigil even though she has not lived in Cornfield for many years, and has no personal attachment to the house. Her real love though is unique broaches, and hairpins, different pins reveal different favours or stylings for different lords. She does enjoy crafting dresses as well, when the rare bolt of fabric comes her way she enjoys sewing and tailoring. She is often seen carrying a unique wooden six stringed lyre, or a three stringed lute; the former the cause for her name the Six Eyed Singer. She daps herself with lavender water most mornings, and cleans her teeth with mint, and rose now that she is employed by the Lannisters of Lannisport. Clean teeth are the hallmark of a charming, easy smile to make hearts of men and women alike flutter.
Trait: Elusive Shadow
Skill(s): Espionage, Devious, Schemer, Covert, Rumourmonger
Talent(s): Storyteller, lyre playing, deft fingers
Negative Trait(s): N/A
Starting Title(s): The Six-Eyed Singer, Septa Morgan, Jinny of Aegon’s Rest
Starting Location: Opening event

Part 2: Biography

Swyft Sept (3AC - 15AC)
Helena’s early life began in the Sept of Cornfield where her mother begged the Septa’s to take her. Dutifully, though reluctantly, they agreed, for what else were they to do, and where else was the girl to go. To the Governess of Cornfield, under the sanctity of the confessional, the woman, aching from the pain of birth and shame, confessed that the little girl was the bastard of Lord Swyft. The Governess, doubtful but knowing the man was not without vice, kept the secret to herself and allowed the girl to remain. The woman, who’s name was never revealed even to the Septa's, fled into the night shortly after never to be seen again. Helena was then, as promised, raised by the septas and the Governess of House Swyft. She learns basic literacy from the Seven Pointed Star with the Sisters and numbers from the Governess. Alongside her studies, she was put to work on chores like maid work, baking, cooking, cleaning, and serving Lord Swyft.
In 11AC, a travelling minstrel named The Lying Lyre arrived at Cornfield. A dashing young man with a shock of blonde curls that tumbled down his back like a mullet captivated Helena with his songs of far-off lands and noble families. In particular he sang of the Maiden’s Bay Tourney, the feats of House Targaryen, and after some time the Field of Fire and the failings of House Lannister. House Swyft was wealthy, and the Liar’s talents earned him much and more coin from the silver mines.
Helena of an age where curiosity ruled a child’s mind was enamoured with the man and his songs. She took up practising the lyre with him, and discovered that while no maestro, she had deft fingers and a mind for lyrics. Impressed by her interest and talent, the Liar gifted her a lyre before he left for future profits in far off lands. Some years of practice though, and a natural storyteller and rumourmonger Helena combined tales of the Seven Pointed Star and was invited to sing in the sept and even twice for Lord Swyft.
Six Eyed Singer (15AC - 20AC)
It was not to last though and following the slaughter in the Kingswood, the line of House Swyft was extinguished. Not wanting to test the new residents of Cornfield, the Warriors Sons and Poor Fellows, after all, all men have vice, she left Cornfield, and took to singing on the road. Going under the name Lyrebird, Helena played and sang for her coin and lodgings, a young girl protected only by being seen when she wanted and an elusive shadow when she did not.
Times on the road were not easy and The Lyrebird drew much attention. This necessitated the need for another alter ego and after a year on the road and towns and villages through the West were soon visited by the travelling Septa Morgan. The Septa heard confessions and sins, gave forgiveness and offered small advice to the poor and needy. She spared coins where she could and allowed Helena to remain covert. It did not matter to most that she was no real septa, she wore the robes, knew the words, and offered as a good moral compass to children. For most in the far flung reaches of the West she was enough.
Being raised in the faith though telling a perpetual lie about being a sister of the cloth was a little too much to bear for Helena. After a year with the reputation of Septa Morgan growing through the small folks of small villages, the Septa soon faded away. Instead Jinny of Aegon’s Rest started coming to smaller castles; Turnbury, Redbramble, Parren Hall, Oldstars and the like. She took on odd jobs cleaning, cooking, teaching a daughter to read or a son to do his numbers. She was after all no threat, knew her letters and numbers herself, and was capable of scheming many a septa or fatherly gatesman to let her in.
Jinny of Aegon’s Rest became a traveller through the keeps of the Westerlands. She heard the tales from children and small folk alike. She had never meant to undertake espionage, but her place inside various courts across the land, and her talent for being in the right place at the right time meant she was an unfortunate witness to many a courtly intrigue. As her small gifts earned her again a broad reputation she would be traded between greater lords. Soon she was playing for the elite, and earning the rewards that came with it. Helena of Cornfield once again took a new name, the Six Eyed Singer, which she quickly used to escape her courtly life and take again to the road as a travelling minstrel.
The Strawberry Tourney and Ball (20AC - Current)
The Six Eyed Singer formed a little bard troupe, nothing extravagant, she wasn’t playing for the Lannisters or the Targaryen’s yet, but enough to provide several shows across the Westerlands, Reach, and former Kingdom of the Trident. Her troupe, much like she had been accidentally, was devious, and while she or they sang, pockets were pinched, and many houses were looted. Her troupe when apart played for all the minor and middle nobles of the Trident and of the Reach too now. She and they were as much a part of the debauchery of the West as any of the wealthy merchants. There was no party too scandalous, no whorehouse unsung, no court too far flung for the right price and the West had gold burning through pockets.
The Six Eyed Singer was not the only bard with a troupe though and soon through the Kingdoms after Aegon’s conquest artisans, bards, and mummers alike filled the world with talent. In 20AC the Songbird made its mark, and with a little bit of fun, a lot of resentment for nobility, and an ingrained childlike sense of chaos, the first of the Songbirds’ letters sang. The voice of the little people flooded across the western coast of the Iron Throne. Lord Belaerys’ dragon had eaten several children whilst growing fat and hungry. Lancel Lannister had claimed the maidenhood of his chambermaid, and sired a bastard all at the age of just fifteen. Lord Frey schemed against his overlord for a free and independent Trident once again. Was all of it true? Impossible to say, but there were enough truths to turn heads, and the songs of the Songbird began to cause chaos in the Westerlands most of all. The Six Eyed Singer and her troupe played through it all, they were bards, but the Songbird was the most famous one of all; not their little merry band.
The Six Eyed Singer though continued her good work, and with her reputation came an invite to participate at the Strawberry Tourney and Ball alongside the other bardic troupes of the West and Reach. She was not so famous as to be alone, merely enough to earn an invite, and a paid job. The planning was years long, and with new songs and tunes came new rumours. While the Six-Eyed Singer played songs such as Fleece-eye, Dornish Sour Grapes, and Lion of the West, the Songbird worked their chaos.
A ripple pulsed through the tourney, first a cheater in the joust was revealed, Ser Byron who was disqualified as a result. Then a second cheater, this time in the melee, then a third cheater again in the joust Lord Payne had accepted a bribe from Lord Reyne to fall early. Cheating in the tourney was just the start, cheating in the bedroom of the ball was the main affair. Here the Songbird revealed three affairs; Lords Serret and Lyden were both fathers to children on women , not their wives. While Lady Serret and Lady Ruskin were bedfriends behind their husbands’ backs. There was one final scandal though, which was revealed to all at the tourney. Septon Karron was no true anointed Septon, and worse there was legitimacy to foulness surrounding young boys who served him.
The chaos broke over the tourney and all the artisans in attendance were forced to flee. Yet, all was not lost, for Lord Gerold Lannister of Lannisport had taken his eye to Helena and her playing. He offered her a job, for he wished to be a great sponsor of art in the new Seven Kingdoms. So it was she came to a courtly position, advising the Lord Lannister on matters of fine art, musicians, mummery, and all manner of artisanal dealings.
Timeline
3AC - Helena is born in the Sept of Cornfield, her mother a woman from Silverhill who begs the septa’s to take the girl in. She reveals her identity to the Governess of House Swyft, and claims the child is Lord Swyft’s bastard. She leaves shortly after giving birth and recovering.
4-10AC - She is raised in the cloister with the sisters, her Septa mothers raising her lessons on reading from the Seven Pointed Star, and numbers from the Governess to ensure that she can do basic arithmetic. She takes basic lessons in scullery maid work, baking, and general service work for old Lord Swyft.
11AC - A travelling minstrel, The Lying Lyre, comes through Cornfield to sing songs of the tourney of Maiden’s Bay, House Targaryen, and the Field of Fire. He takes a liking to the young Helena, and gifts her a lyre. He stays in Cornfield for some time, both because it is lucrative and because he enjoys teaching the young girl.
12-14AC - The Lying Lyre departs Cornfield but leaves a talented and hardworking Helena with the sisters once more. She takes to singing sections of the Seven Pointed Star, and even performs for Lord Swyft a few times.
15AC - The House of Swyft dies out and Helena, unaware of her claimed parentage but with a talent for song leaves the cloister and takes to the road, not trusting the new Warriors Sons or Poor Fellows. She uses the name Lyrebird and sings and plays her lyre for coin to survive.
16AC - After a year on the road Helena takes up the name Septa Morgan and takes to hearing confessions of the poor and needy across the Westerlands. Many of them need guidance and wearing her septa robes she is the perfect person to hear them. She is no real Septa but no amount of explaining the technicality of that stops people asking her to forgive them.
17AC - Her reputation as Septa Morgan grows a little too heavy on her shoulders, and Helena takes to wearing more common clothes, moving from keep to keep and working as a barmaid, scullery girl, and baker amongst other professions. She goes by the name Jinny of Aegon’s Rest.
18AC - Chance takes its favour on her, and Helena with her simple lyre is invited to play at a feast in Lannisport. Dressed now as a travelling minstrel she performs for the gathered nobles and earns herself invitations to other keeps. With her generous benefactors she hires a small troupe to perform her songs across the West.
19AC - Travelling the Westerlands, Helena under the moniker The Six Eyed Singer, takes her talents for being present at feasts and gatherings of all sorts.
20AC - Rumour of The Songbird takes hold, and the West is awash in the voice of the little people.
21AC - The Strawberry Tourney and Ball unfolds and Helena’s skills earn her favour with Lord Gerold Lannister.
22AC - Lord Gerold Lannister recognising her many talents picked her up to be one of the primary serving women in his House. His eye for artistic endeavours endeared him to her enough for a comfortable place as a favoured bard, painter, educator, and common court woman.

Frontiersman No. 0012: Duke Collins
I snapped up in my seat with the notifications sounding on my ship's Heads-Up Display, telling me that I'd arrived in the next system. Hopefully this one would have at least something of interest. For 2 years now I had been doing this; going system to system, scanning areas of interest or systems that merit valuable expansion. That's the fate of someone like me. I'm a criminal. It turns out punching your superior officer in United Navy Advanced Flight School is grounds for an immediate court-marshal, and 12 years in a military prison. To be fair though, the guy was a bit of a dick, and I'm pretty sure he had it out for me ever since I beat him in the simulators when he was trying to make an example of us new recruits. That aside though, when it was announced that a new program was available for qualified individuals in lieu of serving time, it was a no brainer for me. They stuff you full of experimental hardware/cybernetics, throw you on a decent sized ship filled to bursting with experimental/cutting-edge upgrades and capable of being piloted by one person, and exile you from Humanity controlled space, with the sole mission of exploring. I'm required to make logs while I travel, and leave buoys behind to relay the logs back to the United Terran Systems. So that's me.. Duke Collins, Frontiersman number twelve.
"Aerie, Anything on the scans?", I asked my shipboard AI.
"The nearest planetary body is showing signs of life, Captain." Aerie responded in a cool voice. Her voice was a recent development, in the last 5 months or so. She was one of those experimental things added to the ship when I was tossed out here, and it seems like she's actually getting... smarter? United Terran Systems hasn't really developed AI yet, but I was the lucky sucker to have their first big attempt thrown into my ship. There's a room about 5x7 meters near the aft of the ship filled with all sorts of high-tech storage and processing tech, but about 4 months into our journey my "computer" began requesting stops at resource rich asteroids to harvest materials for our synthesizers, and suddenly I'm performing upgrades to the room that she had developed herself. She turned out to be a great proof of concept, but also my only companion and friend in this lonely journey.
"Don't fuck with me, Aerie, and stop calling me Captain." I replied. She responded with a giggle through the speakers. I knew it was just for my sake, but it made her feel more like a real person, and I appreciated that. I think she liked to emulate organic life as well, for some reason.
Aerie relented, "Nothing of note on the scanners, Duke." She emphasized my name. "Although we aren't in range of all of the planetary bodies yet, and there's a few sizeable gas giants on the opposite side of the star."
"Well, lets get over there, I'm eager to leave another boring system behind." I replied. This job was a way to avoid jail time, if you meet the qualifications, but it was a prison of it's own kind. Spending all of this time in a ship the size of an moderate apartment could get cramped, and being alone this long can start to affect the mind. I seemed to be doing alright, but I honestly think i'm just riding the high of finally having someone to really talk to.
With Aerie's help, we input the coordinates for the opposite side of the start and the FTL drive began to spool. Within a few seconds we were on the opposite side of the star, and lasers were passing over the bow of the ship.
"Aerie, what the hell is going on!?" I shouted, and slammed the throttle to 100%. Inertia Dampeners be damned, it still hurt like hell. In an instant, we were rocketing through space, away from what appeared to be an active engagement.
Aerie chimed in, "Powering up reactive shielding, uh, for the first time. It seems that, while the planets were identified before warping to system, we were unable to identify the ships behind the interference from the local star. Recommend leaving the area."
"Well hold on now, Aerie," I retorted, "scan those ships, lets see what's going on out here." I swung the ship around, from what I believed to be a safe distance, and looked at the active engagement taking place. "Aerie, are those ships... even Terran?". Looking at the vessels, I didn't recognize any of them. One of the ships was shaped like a sleek, white, cylindrical pod, with black glass at the front that was undoubtedly the pilot's viewport. It had a sweeping tail that formed a half-ring loop on the stern of the ship just above the rear thrusters. It rolled and twisted erratically as it attempted to escape it's pursuers.
The attacking ships, at least from the looks of it, were much less graceful. They were a dull, dark brown, almost black, and sported large flat surfaces on the front, in which rested the weapons that were being actively fired at the fleeing vessel. It seemed that whoever created these ships somehow managed to take a few blocky cigar shapes and stuff them together, clearly more function over form. The function seemed to be working as intended though, as shots connected with the fleeing vessel, and engines began to flicker out.
"Scanning...Scanning completed." reported Aerie. "The vessels appear to be of 2 separate make. The lead vessel appears to be a simple transport, and sports no weapons or shielding. The FTL drive function is unknown. In short time, the vessel will be destroyed. The pursuing vessels appear to have some form of laser based weaponry, schematics and build are unknown. There is technology aboard the vessels that I am unable to discern at this time, but I believe some to be a form of very basic shielding, of a completely different function than our own. Recommend vacating the area."
My adrenaline was pumping, the cybernetics in my brain processing the combat at enhanced speeds. I wanted so badly to get involved, to be the hero that saves the day, but I know better. Just because a ship is being chased, doesn't mean that they're the good guys. As if to answer my prayers though, one ship peeled off and began moving my way. I gripped the controls to my vessel and waited.
"Come on... do it. Make my day. I'm so, so bored. Do it. DO IT." I kept thinking to myself. I had no idea what I was up against, but anything was better than rolling through space for another 10 years, and maybe I'd finally be able to put some of that oh-so-expensive schooling that our sweet Terran overlords brag about to some use.
A flash of light. I yank on the control stick, sending my ship into a sideways tumble as laser fire rolls across the length of my ship, barely missing me. My inertia dampeners and cybernetic muscle and bone fibers helping absorb the massive g-forces.
A smile flashes across my face. "Aerie, I have a better idea." Aiming towards the fleeing vessel and it's lone pursuer, I roll the sticks forward, sending us rocketing in their direction, and away from the one that chose me as it's target. "We're going to be heroes."

A bit of background as it’s important to the situation : The CV I initially submitted for this job included all my experience except for a short 4-month experience where I was hired through a temp agency for another bank in 2022. It was for a 6-month project, but after 4-months the contract was terminated early as the project became too advanced for my experience. Essentially it was a “dismissal” but not due to any problems. My manager from that bank even said I could use her as a reference and my exit interview went very positively.
Fast forward to present day. I began interviewing in early March for this bank in Geneva. It was a total of 5-rounds.
During the 5th round interview on March 22nd, I mentioned that I had a short temporary experience not highlighted on my CV. The Geneva bank requested me to re-submit my CV with this experience included as the background check company will use it to verify. I did exactly that, and when filling-out information on the background check company website, I voluntarily disclosed that the contract was “terminated early due to performance issues”. However, both the temp agency and my ex-manager for this role provided me with exceptional references speaking very highly of me, which this bank in Geneva well-received. This information for the background check was provided in late March.
For reference, I received the job offer for the Geneva bank in late March. I then signed the contract early April and was due to start May 15th.
Fast forward to now, I received a phone call Monday May 13th, stating that the bank has decided to rescind my offer because of trust. Apparently they expected me to mention this dismissal during the earlier stages of the interview. My counter was that I wasn’t going to highlight a dismissal in a first interview and especially one in which I was a temp and had extremely positive references.
Essentially for me, it wasn’t a big deal as I was a temp so I didn’t mention it. I did however mention it during the final round and voluntarily disclosed everything during the background check. It seems that the Geneva bank have a different view on what should have been mentioned initially, however, there was absolutely nothing malicious from my end nor was I trying to hide anything. I don’t understand why they keep talking about trust as though I was indeed trying to hide something.
It seems off and I feel horrible. They had this information for over a month and a half and they wait 2 days before the start date. I didn’t look for any roles since March as I had this offer and now they leave me to hang dry. I have a family with another baby coming in 2 weeks and now I’m scrambling to try and find something.
Anyone else go through something similar? Or does anyone want to chime in with their thoughts? Thanks 🙏🏻

1. Kolm pitching and confidence.
In a series that had many interesting storylines such as Jorgensen’s and Behen’s first series with their new teams, Evan’s first official series in MLW after being drafted with the first overall pick in the past draft and Cheetam’s first series as manager it was Preston Kolm who caught my eye the most.
I thought that surely Jorgensen would get the ball for game 2. Instead, manager Tommy Coughlin decided to go with Preston, clearly, he impressed him in the offseason, and he certainly impressed me as well. He showed great command, his pitches looked sharp, movement was working, and you could see that as he got deeper into the game his confidence was rising, he even broke out a Kracht-esque sidestep pitch for a strikeout. He ended up with a no hitter and a near perfect game just ruined by a single walk.
Now, with no intention of ruining the Mallards hype party, it is important to note that the Gators are probably not the most competitive team in the league, and their offense might be the weakest of all teams. They only scored one run in 9 innings (granted, the Mallards scored 2) but still, it was an amazing first outing for Kolm.
What was interesting to watch is that the confidence was not only bounded to pitching, but it carried over to everything else. He made some nice defensive plays in the field including a really tough one. At the plate he reached in 4 out of his 6 plate appearances.
I will follow his progress closely as the season goes on, but the Mallards suddenly have really nice depth in their rotation, with 3 very capable arms on the roster.
2. Sawyer Behen can pitch!
Coming into this series many eyes where on Behen, and for good reason. After the very loud and controversial trade that saw Behen land with the Gators, there is a lot of pressure on him to perform this year, especially with the comments he made during the offseason, and if this series is any indication of what we will see from him, ohh boy did the Gators win this trade. After Jorgensen’s departure the Gators will need to fill the franchise player vacancy. And while I don’t think Behen can be enough of a hitter to fill that void, he showed he can be the face of the Gators pitching staff. Behen looked unhittable, and aside from a Robles rocket to left field, no one really made strong contact off him. His final line was 7IP, 1ER, 16K and 9BB. With Behen at this level on the mound, rookie Evans talent and Cheetam as a third arm the Gators quietly have a solid rotation, capable of winning games even against the most dangerous offenses as they nearly did in the 3 games against the Mallards.
3. Gators rookies are here!
Aiden Richard joined the Gators as an undrafted free agent, and while I’m sure it was not the debut he hoped for, as he went 0-2 and had a whoopsie play in right field that resulted in a Robles home run which ended up being the winning run for the Mallards. He looked good. He was responsible for one of the few Gators’ hard-hit balls, unfortunately it went just foul instead of what would have been a monster home run. But his swing looks good, he clearly has power and I think as the season goes on and as he racks up more plate appearances, he will be a good player for the Gators.
As for fist overall pick Jeremy Adams it was mixed bag, he started off great with a well hit ball to open the series for the Gators but wasn’t able to get any hits after that. Still, he managed to reach base 4 times in 10 PA’s. Which was the best mark on his team. The swing looks dangerous and there is definitively a power threat in there. I think it will take some time for him to adjust to MLW pitchers and rules, but I am confident he will figure it out. However, what really impressed me was his pitching. It is normal for first year players to struggle as pitchers, but Evans looked as comfortable as a veteran star pitcher. He only allowed one run in 3 innings of work and that run should have a major asterisk next to it, as Richard pushed the ball over the fence on a batted ball that would have never made it past the fence without some help. Overall, I loved what I saw from him on the mound, and Behen now must be absolutely remarkable if he doesn’t want to lose his spot as the guy in the pitching rotation. I would go as far as to say that Evans might already be the best second arm in the league, (if he will be the second arm for much longer is really in question) to say he has ace potential is an underestimation.
4. What happened to the Mallards offense?
If you would have told me that the Mallards would manage only 2 runs in the whole series against the Gators, I would have called you crazy. Nevertheless, that is exactly what happened, and I have no idea what to think about it. I had previously called the new Mallards offense the best assembled lineup in modern MLW history. The fact that they couldn’t really get anything going against a rookie pitcher and a 2.48 ERA pitcher in Behen is honestly, surprising. There is no point in trying to analyze why this happened. Its too small of a sample size. Let’s just call it an off day for them, but its something that is worth paying attention for their next series.
5. What happened to the cheat code?
I believed Cheetam could return to his usual form as a hitter, after an awful 2023 season, but it was a torrid start. If the Gators want to play playoff baseball this season, they need Cheetam’s bat to wake up. He is now the leader of this incredible young team, and I fear that if they keep getting no production out of him their season will be a short one.

So basically I (23f) had a big blowout with my Narc Father, and have decided to move out. You spend your whole life waiting for them to become the person you need them to be, and they just don't.
Honestly in the grand scheme of things it was such classic and expected behaviour on his part, yet he seems to think it was a one off that I am choosing to remain bitter over. I haven't been capitulating to his apologies (which he clearly doesn't even know what hes apologising for), and they really only came after I maintained that I would be moving out and keeping contact to a minimum with him. I've given up on caring about him getting better or whatever, it serves me in no way whatsoever.
Now he's rotating through his different methods of gaining control back in the relationship. It started with remaining angry and gaslighting, then it became sadly skulking around and complaining to everyone in his life about what an ungrateful daughter I am, then it became performative apologies and maybe 2 entire AA sessions. He said to me that we need to talk, and that I need to let him know what my boundaries are, yet he knows what they are and clearly has no interest in changing. He knows we can't stand how he uses everyone else to regulate his emotions and that we are DESPERATE for him to go to therapy, but he just won't. Him asking me what my boundaries are I know is just another way to try and get me to engage with him, because he genuinely doesn't see anything wrong with his behaviour. He went to 2 AA sessions just to look as though he was making an effort, and even then he was (surprisingly) not drunk during his last blowout, he refuses to acknowledge that his behaviour is GENERALLY unacceptable.
However, he is my dad and I love him. He is buying things, paying for things, the only thing he ever does to try and make things better, and it sucks because I know it's just to hold something over my head. For my mother's sake, I've made an effort to be polite and civil with him, however I think he saw this as me forgiving him and everything going back to 'normal'. I now feel like a bitch because he's doing all these things trying to get my attention or to talk to me and I just can't stand it. It would honestly be easier if he just stayed awful constantly. The guilt sucks, and it sucks because I KNOW by accepting these gifts that the power dynamic has shifted back to him (he paid for a nice lunch for me and my mother for mothers day), even though they are 'gifts' you cannot reject.
You just can't win, I feel bad but I don't know how to move forward from here, I feel as though I let myself down by 'capitulating' or accepting these gifts or whatever, and now he think things are okay when really they aren't. I just don't know what to do in a situation where you truly can't win.
I get so sad for him, and then I remember all the things he has done and said and I am filled with rage, it's just the most confusing and jarring situation, especially when you've be raised believing that you are responsible for your parent's emotions.
Sorry for the poor grammar, just a bit of a vent/plea for advice.

Hey guys. I will keep it short and to the point.
I recently decided to work with a 'shadow work' coach on the recommendation of a close friend who also had done some work with them.
Basically this coach wanted to help me harness my dark side (trauma) to perform better in my business (among other things, basically like a life coach for entrepreneurs). He is highly regarded and works with millionaires.
Everything started well and we had an introductory 1:1 session which felt freeing and I was instantly sold to do a 6 month container for $20K.
I am 2 months into 'the work' and a few things have come up which I would like advice on, and see if anyone else thinks these are red flags or if I am just being overly-dramatic.

• during a breath work session, my shadow work coach was pushing down on my ribs hard with his fingers for an extended period to make me yell, and it hurt. I don't know why he did this.
• during sessions he will suggest me having issues in my relationship with my fiance, even though I feel like we are doing well in our relationship. It sort of feels like he is gaslighting me into thinking problems are there when I don't feel that they are.
• whenever I disagree with him or tell him 'no', he says that I am being triggered and being triggered is a sign of a mental block we need to work through. So it makes it hard to place boundaries when I feel like these boundaries I am placing are not valid or I am in the wrong for having them.
• he sent me a form for my fiance to fill out with a list of questions, one asked private questions about her menstrual cycle and the other was asking the last time she was sexually active (this was out of the blue and he didn't say why this information was necessary even when I asked him).
• there are plenty other minor things but I think I got the main qualms out of the way.

What is your take on this? Is shadow work meant to be uncomfortable as this? Has anyone else done some type of life coaching that can compare?
If these are red flags and I shouldn't be working with this person - I will feel gutted as I have already paid him, signed contract stipulating no refunds, and also signed an NDA...

Looking to hire an experienced video editor for a Finance Youtube channel. I’m looking for talking-head mostly, in a style similar to Ali Abdaal.
The channel is new, but I’ve grown a finance Youtube channel in the past and sold it. I’m an experienced content creator and I’ve hired and worked well with many video editors in the past.
Initially, you will be responsible for editing 1 long-form video per week along with 2-3 YouTube Shorts. As the channel grows, responsibilities will increase to 2 long-form videos and 4-6 Shorts per week. I am aiming to produce 60 long-form videos by the end of the year, and 120-180 shorts.
Benefits:

• Competitive Pay: We will pay you well for great editing
• Potential bonuses: based on video performance and channel growth.
• Flexible Scheduling: Work on your schedule from anywhere in the world.
• Creative Freedom: Contribute ideas and influence the direction of video content.
• Supportive Team: Work collaboratively with experienced professionals who value your input.

Required Skills:

• Demonstrated video editing ability with a strong portfolio.
• Ability to edit long-form talking head videos like Ali Abdaal.
• Proficiency in Adobe Premiere Pro, Final Cut Pro, or similar software.
• Excellent sense of pacing and visual storytelling in video content.
• Experience with short video formats and motion graphics.

Optional Qualifications:

• Interest or background in finance and investing.
• Ability to work with project management software (we use Clickup)

How to Apply:
Please fill out this Google Form: https://forms.gle/CuBPBoNEUdJd5WhbA, it will only take a couple of minutes. Do not DM me, I will not reply, the form fill out is a requirement, thank you.

Looking to hire an experienced video editor for a Finance Youtube channel. I’m looking for talking-head mostly, in a style similar to Ali Abdaal.
The channel is new, but I’ve grown a finance Youtube channel in the past and sold it. I’m an experienced content creator and I’ve hired and worked well with many video editors in the past.
Initially, you will be responsible for editing 1 long-form video per week along with 2-3 YouTube Shorts. As the channel grows, responsibilities will increase to 2 long-form videos and 4-6 Shorts per week. I am aiming to produce 60 long-form videos by the end of the year, and 120-180 shorts.
Benefits:

• Competitive Pay: We will pay you well for great editing
• Potential bonuses: based on video performance and channel growth.
• Flexible Scheduling: Work on your schedule from anywhere in the world.
• Creative Freedom: Contribute ideas and influence the direction of video content.
• Supportive Team: Work collaboratively with experienced professionals who value your input.

Required Skills:

• Demonstrated video editing ability with a strong portfolio.
• Ability to edit long-form talking head videos like Ali Abdaal.
• Proficiency in Adobe Premiere Pro, Final Cut Pro, or similar software.
• Excellent sense of pacing and visual storytelling in video content.
• Experience with short video formats and motion graphics.

Optional Qualifications:

• Interest or background in finance and investing.
• Ability to work with project management software (we use Clickup)

How to Apply:
Please fill out this Google Form: https://forms.gle/CuBPBoNEUdJd5WhbA, it will only take a couple of minutes. Do not DM me, I will not reply, the form fill out is a requirement, thank you.

This is what I think will happen and what I would like to happen in Winds of Winter.
North:
Stannis wins, but loses almost all his forces and in Winterfell there are no resources left, so he is forced to return to the wall leaving a few men in Winterfell. Ramsey had sent the false pink letter to provoke Jon, because Stannis used Theon and the false Arya as bait, making Ramsey go out with a few men to capture them (against the orders of his father Roose). Ramsey wanted to provoke Jon to make him leave Castle Black (knowing that Jon was his Lord Commander) and thus turn the Night's Watch against him. Ramsey eventually captures Theon and the fake Arya, but on his way back he finds the castle taken by Stannis, so he flees to Dreadfort. Jon is dead, and Selysse, upon learning of the pink letter, proposes to Melissandre to burn Shireen in order to help Stannis, and she accepts. By burning Shireen, Jon is resurrected. A second letter arrives, and this one says that Stannis has taken Winterfell but that he must return to consolidate the supply line (since Winterfell has no supplies to feed the survivors of his army). Jon, upon learning what has happened, with the help of the wildlings and those still loyal to him in the guard, imprisons Selysse along with all those who were part of his murder.
However, Jon decides to let Melissandre escape knowing that Stannis would kill her for what she did, and he does so because as much as it disgusts him that she burned Shireen, there is a power in her or her Red God or whatever that may be necessary for the war against the Others. Stannis returns and learns what has happened from Jon's words (I think this would be a very good moment to see Stannis in a moment of great vulnerability, to see a man like him break). Stannis decides to execute Selysse, and Jon executes all those responsible for his murder. Jon proposes to Stannis to join him this time as Jon Stark (leaving everything related to the Watch, including the Hardhome issue) to save Arya along with the help of the wildlings. Stannis accepts, knowing that the girl Ramsey has is not really Arya, omitting the truth out of interest. This time the North joins Stannis' cause for Jon Stark, and they march to Dreadfort. The battle of the bastards occurs, Jon, Stannis and Mance Ryder win handsomely saving Theon and Jeyne Poole (Jon realizing it wasn't Arya). This is when the wall is destroyed or the Others have somehow gotten through (as by Eastwatch freezing the sea itself). Jon realizes that he abandoned his guard and his brothers for nothing. (At this point the Iron bank funding comes to Stannis, but I doubt very much that it would do much good. Maybe for a large fleet in White Harbor, which would serve to evacuate the north to the free cities).

South:
Aegon conquers the Stormlands and marries Arianne Martell. The attempted coup of the Sand Snakes at King's Landing fails (Ser Robert Strong, the Mountain, protects Cersei and Tommen by killing the Sand Snakes). Dorne, the Stormlands and the golden company led by Aegon and Jon Connington invade Highgarden. Cersei asks Littlefinger for help in the Vale, and he accepts, but meanwhile Littlefinger agrees to an alliance with Aegon and swears allegiance to him if he makes him Warden of the East and Warden of the North through Sansa Stark, thus him marrying her (Robert Arryn dies in an “accident”). Aegon accepts because he knows about Stannis' advance in the North. Cersei opens the gates to the army of the Vale, and it sacks King's landing. Cersei talks to the pyromancer and tells him to burn the whole city while she plans to flee with Tommen. He obeys and begins the process. Then Arya (who has already had her development in Braavos) shows up and in some spectacular way from what she has learned in the Faceless Men kills the Mountain, and then Arya goes after Cersei and Tommen. Cersei begs Arya to spare Tommen's life, to kill her but not to kill Tommen. Arya then slowly kills Tommen in front of Cersei, and then kills her. The whole city starts to burn from the valyrian fire, but Arya escapes (She heard Cersei's orders she gave to the pyromancer being with another face, but she doesn't bother to stop him, she is totally indifferent about it). King's Landing ends up completely in ruins, exploding and burning everything and everyone who fails to escape. Aegon is left without capital and without an iron throne (Varys is also saved thanks to the secret passages).
Euron conquers Casterly Rock with the intention of plundering the gold and finds that there is nothing. In addition, Lady Stoneheart (Catelyn) kills Jaime in front of Brienne (who accepts because she swore to obey Catelyn, even knowing that Jaime had changed and still loving him, she does it out of honor). Catelyn leading the brotherhood without a banner kills and hunts down all the Freys, including Walder Frey, causing the riverlands to end in anarchy. Catelyn, for the intel she got from Jaime, goes to the westerlands to save Jeyne Westerling (Robb's Wife) in The Crag and Edmure on Casterly Rock (along the way she meets Brynden, the Blackfish). Once Catelyn saves Jeyne at The Craig she and her family tell her that they hid Robb's son in the riverlands, pretending that Jeyne had miscarried. She also learns that the Ironborn have captured Casterly Rock, where Edmure is. Catelyn is at the crossroads of going west to try to save her brother or going east to look for Robb's son.

Essos:
Barristan Selmy meets Jorah and Tyrion, and initially Barristan wants to kill Jorah for bypassing the exile but Tyrion intervenes and they focus more on finding Daenerys. The three go on an expedition in search of Daenerys (leaving the Unsullied and the Second Sons in charge of Meereen). Daenerys is trapped in the Dosh Khaleen, and Jorah, Tyrion and Barristan end up finding out somehow, so they plan to save her (Jorah knows the city will be deserted). After they are gone, Victarion and his fleet arrive in Meereen, and Moqorro sounds the horn after making sacrifices to R'hllor (thus avoiding his own death). Moqorro gains control over Viserion and Rhaegal. The Ironborn take over Meereen with the help of the dragons, and Victarion, not finding Daenerys, tells Moqorro that two dragons are enough and that they should return to Westeros. Moqorro objects, and then performs a ritual in his flames that makes him see where Daenerys is. Victarion, Moqorro and the Ironborn make an expedition to go after Daenerys to Vaes Dothrak.
The Dothrakis realize that there is an army heading towards Vaes Dothrak, so all the Khals go there to protect their holy city. Jorah, Tyrion and Barristan at first find the city completely deserted, but when the Khals arrive everything fills up and they must flee and hide. Then the Ironborn arrive, led by Victarion. The Dothrakis charge the Ironborn, and then Moqorro uses the dragons and the dragons burn them. In the midst of the chaos, Jorah, Tyrion and Barristan manage to reach Daenerys along with the other Khaleesis, but Drogon appears. Daenerys controls Drogon as best she can (he isn't under Morroqo's influence), and tells Jorah, Tyrion and Barristan to run away. Drogon then burns Dosh Khaleen along with all the Khaleesis. This is a catastrophe for all the Dothrakis, but then among the flames Daenerys appears. The Dothrakis consider this a prophecy, so all the khals prostrate themselves before her and join her army. Moqorro, Victarion and Daenerys meet, and then Moqorro gives the horn to Daenerys. Victarion objects, but being surrounded by Dothrakis and now without power over the dragons, he decides not to exert force also at Moqorro's persuasion. Moqorro tells Daenerys that death is marching on Westeros, that the wall has fallen. It is then that Daenerys decides to leave with the Dothrakis, the Unsullied and the Ironborn with Victarion's fleet to Westeros (it may be that the Dothraki went overland to the free cities and then embarked from there).
So, this would be in summary what I think would happen without reaching the end and skipping many things. Daenerys would take many months to reach Westeros, she would stop by other slaver cities to feed her great army. Meanwhile, the North led by Stannis as King, Jon Stark as guardian of the North and Mance Ryder leading the wildlings, would have to organize a massive evacuation of the entire North to below the neck. Thousands of ravens would fly. Jon, Stannis and Mance would be on the front lines fighting Aegon's army, being the golden company, dorne, the knights of the valley, what's left of the stormlands and probably also part of the tyrell (who I assume would eventually surrender to Aegon). Stannis' conquest to the south would not so much be a war as a desperate flight, Aegon would not believe anything about the others and would see Stannis only as the brother of the man who killed his father. Aegon's army is much larger, has far more supplies (the north is in ruins) and his army of far, far higher quality (the golden company and the knights of the valley are some of the best). So I would guess that Stannis would lose against the Vale and would have to decide to maneuver to the twins (which are abandoned by the passing of Lady Stoneheart). The goal would not be to win battles, but to flee from the Others. It would be like what Mance Ryder did beyond the wall but all the way north to the south. (I assume at some point Daenerys would land at Dragonstone and fight Aegon, a marriage between them would no longer be viable) Something I forgot about: I assume Davos would eventually find Rickon with Osha. White Harbor would be the most important place to evacuate the north, sending as many refugees as possible to the free cities. Now, I don't quite know what would happen with Bran really. He might be a good point of view from which to see the mass evacuation of the north, with him fleeing to the south as well. I think that the advance of the others should take over all of Westeros and even advance towards Essos through the sea of stepstones but frozen. Let it be a real massive apocalyptic event.

I’m in need of some advice. I feel like a failure.
This year, I found out in march that my contract will not be renewed due to my “performance”, I shortly after “resigned” (was given the option to resign or be let go). This will be my 3rd year teaching at the same school, ironically the year I’m supposed to get tenured. I’ve been rated excellent the past two years, one being the principal who didn’t renew my contract for next year.
Our principal is on her second year and has been nothing shy of horrendous. I’ve heard her call parents bitches, makes sexist comments about men at our school, yell at staff, the list goes on. I’ve never spoken about her or reported her actions due to fear that she will retaliate. During my exit meeting I did report the situation, how I was let go with absolutely no warning or explanation. That’s beside the point.
I am now reapplying in other districts and I’m losing hope. I’ve had three interviews and been turned down by all three. I have a few questions about my application.

• on my application there’s a question that asks “Have you ever failed to be rehired, been asked to resign a position, or resigned to avoid termination?”. All my colleagues have told me to mark it as “no”. (A few colleagues are in similar situation) but I feel like this is maybe effecting my chances of being hired? I’m just at a loss. I don’t know what to put.
• The second question I have is in regards to my experience. It has me fill out “supervisor information” which would be this current principal. I have no faith that she will speak kindly on my behalf, so our district HR rep said he’d be happy to be my supervisor referral. Who would look better on the application?

Thank you for taking the time to read this and give any advice you may have. Please let me know if there’s anything I need to clarify.

A Silence Abroad
It was on my first night in Japan that I forgot I was alone. Tokyo’s Shinjuku district greeted me with bright neon lights illuminating flocks of tourists walking shops, arcades, and food stands. And somehow, I was a very small part of it, all by myself on the other side of the world. (Maybe with the occasional tout trying to follow me around.)
Solitude is a vulnerable state, and consequently, a compromise. You seize the moment for yourself, and the space is only yours to fill, but intrusive thoughts will covertly slip through and permeate like a disease. Underneath all the lights, humanity surrounded me, enjoying a drink with friends or snapshotting a moment with family. All these people congregated here from around the world, and in spite of their differences, companionship was what they all shared together. The streets filled with the sounds of their life.
But when you feel alone, the mind tricks you into believing that you are not part of it. And you become a silent spectator, watching the phenomenon that is humanity being orchestrated in front of you. It’s a hollow feeling.
And after not speaking and hearing the sound of your own voice for a while, it becomes replaced by a solemn tone whispering empty thoughts. I tried not to listen.
Nevertheless, Tokyo was beautiful (Senso-ji temple was stunning and my favorite Japanese dessert is now age manju). One night, I even went to a Japanese hip-hop show in Shibuya and it was a wonderful experience. Getting to watch such extremely talented artists so passionate about their craft inspired me and pulled me away from ruminating loneliness for some time. I met one of the performing artists after the show and told him how much I loved his verse (despite not understanding it) and we hugged and he cried. He thanked me over and over until he started apologizing for thanking me so much. It was a special moment and I will always remember his humility. (His band is KOMOREBI - check them out!).
I also went out with some other travelers that night, trying okonomiyaki in Setagaya for the first time (it was mouthful bliss) and then went out to a punk rock concert, and a night club. I wasn’t a huge fan of the clubbing, but the company was refreshing. And like all good things, it was fleeting, and I bid my farewell to everyone that night.
I packed my things, and took a bullet train to my next stop, Kyoto. I was anticipating it, as the train zoomed south with Mount Fuji in surreal, passing view. Looking out the window, seeing my own transparent reflection, I took a breath. The train was moving at around 300 km/hour, but everything felt still and quiet. Even the parts of me that wanted to cry.
Kyoto was rich with temples and vestiges of a long, cherished history. I visited the Kyoto National Museum where I saw sculptured deities with venerable auras, parables scripted in decayed scrolls, and art that embodied Buddhist principles. I saw elevated temples monumental and grand, and others more modest and reserved. But they all stood resolutely, bearing the resilience of time and constant revival. They have felt nature’s desecration during arson and natural disasters, but throughout history, the Japanese have rebuilt and renovated them. And somehow, after enduring all this, as long as time has persisted, here they stood before me, as a testament to strength and preservation.
The long-lasting principles of Buddhism and the culture that were so deeply rooted in this country’s history must continue to live on through the structures that stood before me. Purpose is enough to withstand the cruelty of time’s passage. And the cycle of destruction and restoration that traced centuries was felt in the emanating silence only occupied by the sounds of water trickling down a rill or the occasional soft, swaying of trees. I like to think that ancient silence had touched my existence in those moments and advised me to listen.
Solitude is painful because the empty space that comes with it is congregated by the deeper parts of ourselves that seek to dwell on the purpose of our existence. It is when we are alone and quiet that obtrusive questions confront us, invoking us to listen and contemplate. And when we fail to answer gracefully, that is when the loudest and most self-destructive parts of ourselves will answer for us. The parts that are so keen in stripping our humanity from us.
After my last day in Kyoto, I packed all my things once again, and went over to my final destination, Osaka. I had only one night there. And it was an abrupt return to bustling crowds in the metropolitan. Existential silences were replaced with the sounds of humanity again. But as I walked through Dotonbori on a Friday night eating lots of warm, delicious takoyaki and skewers of Kobe beef, that feeling still returned. I knew I was unwell. And trivialities started to begrudge me and I could tell that it was time. And there would be no escaping it.
I took a taxi back to my hotel and I laid in my bed earlier than expected that night. And everything finally spilled. I cried and I cried and I cried. I was finally listening and it hurt doing so.
This solo trip was supposed to help me escape my problems, but it didn’t. When I brought myself here, I brought everything, and that included problems I wish I could have left behind. And amidst my issues, I questioned myself and my place in the world, even my very reasons for existing during times I felt like I had nobody. And albeit having wonderful moments with people throughout my trip, even strangers who treated me with grace and hospitality, that feeling still lingered and it was revealing a deeper issue. An issue not with whether I was in Japan or back home. Or whether I had people around me or I was alone. It was a deeper issue with myself.
But the silence that comes after the storm is just as serene as the silence that precedes. The older I get, the more I begin to have a respect for emotions and their function. They must be felt and I don’t think they are there to harm or sabotage us, although it might seem like it. It is a need to be heard not by others, but by ourselves. Listening to our own cries for help is scary and uncomfortable, but the silence that follows is like an aged temple still standing after centuries of cyclical adversity. Like the calm flow of water down a rill. Like the soft swaying of trees.
My 10-day solo trip was coming to an end. It was coming time to go home. I spent my last day in Tokyo walking Yoyogi Park. The sky was a clear melancholy overhead scattered, naked trees around the park. I saw couples sitting together, friends circled on picnic blankets, and some reading a book by themselves. Humanity felt beautiful that day and I was grateful to be a part of it, one last time. I packed my things once more before taking my flight back home the next day.
I love Japan and I am grateful it carved a space for me to experience all that I did. This trip will forever hold a special place in my heart. But it was not an epiphany, as much as I wished it was. I did not return home as an entirely new person with newfound happiness or certainty. I returned with the same issues I left with, the same, flawed self that was proof of what it meant to be human this whole time. Only with new experiences. And I don’t think that will change.
My humanity lives in my constant struggle of self-preservation, as I continue to unravel and understand myself as I experience, feel, and change. And perhaps that is enough purpose for my own existence, to strive for those moments of silence, where I will continue to stand resolutely in my own imperfection, alone or not.

A Silence Abroad
It was on my first night in Japan that I forgot I was alone. Tokyo’s Shinjuku district greeted me with bright neon lights illuminating flocks of tourists walking shops, arcades, and food stands. And somehow, I was a very small part of it, all by myself on the other side of the world. (Maybe with the occasional tout trying to follow me around.)
Solitude is a vulnerable state, and consequently, a compromise. You seize the moment for yourself, and the space is only yours to fill, but intrusive thoughts will covertly slip through and permeate like a disease. Underneath all the lights, humanity surrounded me, enjoying a drink with friends or snapshotting a moment with family. All these people congregated here from around the world, and in spite of their differences, companionship was what they all shared together. The streets filled with the sounds of their life.
But when you feel alone, the mind tricks you into believing that you are not part of it. And you become a silent spectator, watching the phenomenon that is humanity being orchestrated in front of you. It’s a hollow feeling.
And after not speaking and hearing the sound of your own voice for a while, it becomes replaced by a solemn tone whispering empty thoughts. I tried not to listen.
Nevertheless, Tokyo was beautiful (Senso-ji temple was stunning and my favorite Japanese dessert is now age manju). One night, I even went to a Japanese hip-hop show in Shibuya and it was a wonderful experience. Getting to watch such extremely talented artists so passionate about their craft inspired me and pulled me away from ruminating loneliness for some time. I met one of the performing artists after the show and told him how much I loved his verse (despite not understanding it) and we hugged and he cried. He thanked me over and over until he started apologizing for thanking me so much. It was a special moment and I will always remember his humility. (His band is KOMOREBI - check them out!).
I also went out with some other travelers that night, trying okonomiyaki in Setagaya for the first time (it was mouthful bliss) and then went out to a punk rock concert, and a night club. I wasn’t a huge fan of the clubbing, but the company was refreshing. And like all good things, it was fleeting, and I bid my farewell to everyone that night.
I packed my things, and took a bullet train to my next stop, Kyoto. I was anticipating it, as the train zoomed south with Mount Fuji in surreal, passing view. Looking out the window, seeing my own transparent reflection, I took a breath. The train was moving at around 300 km/hour, but everything felt still and quiet. Even the parts of me that wanted to cry.
Kyoto was rich with temples and vestiges of a long, cherished history. I visited the Kyoto National Museum where I saw sculptured deities with venerable auras, parables scripted in decayed scrolls, and art that embodied Buddhist principles. I saw elevated temples monumental and grand, and others more modest and reserved. But they all stood resolutely, bearing the resilience of time and constant revival. They have felt nature’s desecration during arson and natural disasters, but throughout history, the Japanese have rebuilt and renovated them. And somehow, after enduring all this, as long as time has persisted, here they stood before me, as a testament to strength and preservation.
The long-lasting principles of Buddhism and the culture that were so deeply rooted in this country’s history must continue to live on through the structures that stood before me. Purpose is enough to withstand the cruelty of time’s passage. And the cycle of destruction and restoration that traced centuries was felt in the emanating silence only occupied by the sounds of water trickling down a rill or the occasional soft, swaying of trees. I like to think that ancient silence had touched my existence in those moments and advised me to listen.
Solitude is painful because the empty space that comes with it is congregated by the deeper parts of ourselves that seek to dwell on the purpose of our existence. It is when we are alone and quiet that obtrusive questions confront us, invoking us to listen and contemplate. And when we fail to answer gracefully, that is when the loudest and most self-destructive parts of ourselves will answer for us. The parts that are so keen in stripping our humanity from us.
After my last day in Kyoto, I packed all my things once again, and went over to my final destination, Osaka. I had only one night there. And it was an abrupt return to bustling crowds in the metropolitan. Existential silences were replaced with the sounds of humanity again. But as I walked through Dotonbori on a Friday night eating lots of warm, delicious takoyaki and skewers of Kobe beef, that feeling still returned. I knew I was unwell. And trivialities started to begrudge me and I could tell that it was time. And there would be no escaping it.
I took a taxi back to my hotel and I laid in my bed earlier than expected that night. And everything finally spilled. I cried and I cried and I cried. I was finally listening and it hurt doing so.
This solo trip was supposed to help me escape my problems, but it didn’t. When I brought myself here, I brought everything, and that included problems I wish I could have left behind. And amidst my issues, I questioned myself and my place in the world, even my very reasons for existing during times I felt like I had nobody. And albeit having wonderful moments with people throughout my trip, even strangers who treated me with grace and hospitality, that feeling still lingered and it was revealing a deeper issue. An issue not with whether I was in Japan or back home. Or whether I had people around me or I was alone. It was a deeper issue with myself.
But the silence that comes after the storm is just as serene as the silence that precedes. The older I get, the more I begin to have a respect for emotions and their function. They must be felt and I don’t think they are there to harm or sabotage us, although it might seem like it. It is a need to be heard not by others, but by ourselves. Listening to our own cries for help is scary and uncomfortable, but the silence that follows is like an aged temple still standing after centuries of cyclical adversity. Like the calm flow of water down a rill. Like the soft swaying of trees.
My 10-day solo trip was coming to an end. It was coming time to go home. I spent my last day in Tokyo walking Yoyogi Park. The sky was a clear melancholy overhead scattered, naked trees around the park. I saw couples sitting together, friends circled on picnic blankets, and some reading a book by themselves. Humanity felt beautiful that day and I was grateful to be a part of it, one last time. I packed my things once more before taking my flight back home the next day.
I love Japan and I am grateful it carved a space for me to experience all that I did. This trip will forever hold a special place in my heart. But it was not an epiphany, as much as I wished it was. I did not return home as an entirely new person with newfound happiness or certainty. I returned with the same issues I left with, the same, flawed self that was proof of what it meant to be human this whole time. Only with new experiences. And I don’t think that will change.
My humanity lives in my constant struggle of self-preservation, as I continue to unravel and understand myself as I experience, feel, and change. And perhaps that is enough purpose for my own existence, to strive for those moments of silence, where I will continue to stand resolutely in my own imperfection, alone or not.
https://open.substack.com/pub/tazwarf/p/a-silence-abroad?r=33upu9&utm_medium=ios
Link to my feedback comment: https://www.reddit.com/DestructiveReaders/comments/1cil5io/comment/l3xyw2a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

January 29, 2384 - the day of the last total eclipse is when the raid began. “The day of the sun's false shadow” as people call it now. We, humans, were an unsuspecting victims in a universe habited by multiple vastly stronger existences. When it happened the world had been thrown into utter chaos and shock. The sun had been completely covered by the moon and this event was supposed to last only a short while however after two hours sunlight had still not shown its face upon the earth's surface. This was the beginning of humanity's greatest tribulation. After days of the sun's light not being shown the planet's temperature began to drop and to compensate for this people began to create massive fires but this did not stop the problem. Photosynthesis in plants began to stop, making it harder for humans to breathe. This made humans build labs and create artificial oxygen, which took care of that problem but humans still began to die from hypothermia, frozen oceans, and forced stoppage of blood flow. After two weeks, the sun finally revealed itself and all hope had been restored in humanity collectively only for half the population to be massacred in an instant. “The watchers” had been slowly waiting with armies to colonize our planet and technology beyond our wild comprehension. Technology we can only dream of had been shown and used right before our very eyes and for the first time in all of human history, we had been united as one in our mutual fear and horror. 2 months later, 90% of humanity has been wiped out and the few who remained were used as slaves to cultivate energy. With the use of a Dyson shell, nearly 80% of the sun's energy and heat had been directed into maintaining their energy. Amongst all this time, humanity had collectively agreed to fight back. This began the creation of the liberation group, “the Plague”. These groups of people were the last hope of humanity and carried an extremely large ambition and dream on their shoulders. While “the watchers” were extremely advanced this doesn't change the fact that they were fallible and this group of people were their scourge. They didn't have the military might nor the advanced brain to even keep up against “the watchers” but through slavery and forced labor, the human body began to develop into something stronger. They began to surpass their limits and break the barriers that the human mind had once placed on themselves. Through the selective farming of “the watchers” a new plant had developed that was essentially a stimulant to the human body and a limit breaker for their physical capabilities. At first, they began by using strong levels of acid to corrode the buildings and structures and then stopping their heartbeat to give the impression of suicide so they could not be caught, however, they did not die due to a new system developed from the human's newfound evolution. Due to the strict regimen that we had to follow, we knew all of the places where they would and wouldn't be, all the blind spots of the planet, all the places where they were in close proximity to a chasm, and all the places where we were at a disadvantage. We used the blindspots as bases and hideouts where we could plan our vengeance. After a year of just observing their behavior, habits, bodily functions, and even their schedules we developed a hypothesis that 24 seconds after 7:39 PM we have approximately 19 minutes and 53 seconds in Greenland where we are not being watched nor located. We used this small window of time to gather the fundamental items we needed to fight back and build the foundation for our organization. We gathered food, plants, water, armor, and weapons. We realized that they were immune to cutting/slicing damage and could only be hurt through blunt attacks. With this knowledge, we developed a specific fighting style and used that small time frame to train others in it. We adapted to the harsh conditions and created clothes using spare pieces from “the watchers” specially made for insulating heat, weighing less, and being less penetrable by outside attacks. After a year every person on the planet was a master at this martial arts and had fully developed a counter to all technology that “the watchers” had. However, we could not initiate immediate war on them so we needed a plan. We came up with the idea to have one of our strongest members report to the watchers about our activity and give away one of our bases. This created the false notion that not only did they have someone working as a double agent on their side but also they knew where we would be so they could catch us off guard. We were all there like they expected and they attacked like planned. We had all moved our weapons, armor, and vital items into a different base but kept some things where they attacked to make them think we had not gotten far but this was a dud. Eventually, we had all “died” and had our bodies left at that place as a sign of victory on their side. However, because of this, their ego had grown and they began to underestimate us. The surveillance had gotten weaker as they assumed their “double agent” would tell them everything as a trade for luxury living. We knew that physical power would not be enough so our smartest man collaborated to develop a virus specifically made for their genetic makeup which took about 5 years to extract small strands of DNA without them realizing. Once the virus had been created the incidence began and eliminated more than 60 percent of “the watchers” because of how they were too distracted trying to develop a cure and the vast amount of them dying, we had gained more time to develop our forces and we began to ingest various harmful substances but in small doses in order to gain resistance to any harmful poisons and acids. After new children start to be born this began the origin of a new human species. One massively stronger, smarter, more durable, and with all the immunities and benefits without the downsides. With the birth of this new generation, all of the human race had experienced a collective euphoria. We had begun to secretly train these kids for years and strengthen them in a way the human race had never been before. Due to the circumstances of their birth, they had also developed a strong ability for adaptation and healing factor which ultimately led to humans finally being able to physically compete with “the watchers”. However, we were still lacking in numbers despite the virus taking a vast majority of “the watchers” away. Some of us grew confident and because we were now physically capable some believed we could win the war while others believed we couldn’t yet. This created division within our ranks but did not necessarily break our ranks but that was all depending on your interpretation. We gathered our smartest men and women to make a plan to initiate war, and for 14 days they were stuck in ruminative thought. 2 years passed and we had finally built up the numbers, technology, and physical capabilities to contend with the watchers. Now on the day of the war, all of our strongest soldiers imitated the attack. But this time they were an unsuspecting victim on a planet habited by a stronger species. During the war we had counters for nearly everything the watchers could dish out but one thing we were not aware of was the fact that the watchers could transform into a smaller but faster, stronger, and more durable form. This form took the shape of humankind. So closely related that it struck fear into the hearts of many. Not only was this extremely off-putting but the revelation that came along with it had altered the perception of humanity as we know it. The war had been put to a halt, and all forced fighting in the war had directed their attention to one watcher and one watcher alone. All forces had been completely immobilized and fighting back was no longer capable. With this, the words that had been spoken out of the watcher were a revelation that humanity had not even considered possible. “We are not your enemies. We are you but from the future. In our original timeline, we have been attacked by a species even higher than us. We had been pushed to the brink of extinction and our last hope was only to go back in time in hopes that if we returned to our past selves we could help evolve even more to contend with the world-ending threats from the future. This siege we had laid on this planet and the forced evolution, progression, and tragedy among humankind also brought extreme progression in human capabilities. All of you are vastly superior to your previous forms because of our arrival. While we acknowledge our methods were not the ideal we had no other option. This was the fastest and most effective method to progress the human species although we could not allow the human race to have this win. It would boost the ego of your race and our all of you in a state of comfort and stagnation. With this being said we resign from our participation in this war and would greatly appreciate it if you allowed us to help humanity rebuild and donate technology.” Speechless as to what humanity has just heard we just stood there in utter shock and disbelief. Not a single soul knew what to say and all of humanity had stood in confusion. One man spoke “how do we know this is true” the watcher proceeded to show pictures and videos of them being massacred while some stood in human form and others did not. They showed is this along with the words, “we initiated this war as a way to put the human race through natural selection and eliminate all the weak human being who would not be able to contribute to our growth and success in any upcoming battle. So with that being said what is your decision?” Our leader, and the smartest woman among us had stated, “We humbly decline this offer as we would prefer to evolve by our capabilities and we have already surpassed you so what can you possibly teach us.” After this being stated the war had been started again and the watchers had been for the first time since the “great cleansing” began utterly defeated and annihilated. With the war being won, humanity being victorious, and newfound abilities being discovered humanity had been thrown into an era of peace and prosperity. All tragedies had been blamed on the watchers and for the first time humanity had an ever lasting peace and a perfect utopia where everyone agreed and benefited from each other. With this, we have been vastly improving and slowly but steadily rebuilding our planet and all of humankind. Our members started family’s and genuinely enjoyed the life they were living once again. Everyone acting coyly and with one another was a beautiful side to behold. Everything was perfect until the same monsters who killed the watchers, showed up to eliminate us due to fear of what we could evolve into this time we had no way to fight back and our ranks were already diminished or severely weakened. How would humanity be able to survive this time???Most people had been massacre and captures to be experimented on. Very few of us had actually managed to get away from them and we had only been able to do this through shadow banishment. It was a skill that we had acquired through the technology of the watchers. Living in the void was not the ideal lifestyle as it was ruthless, dirty, and unsafe but the chances of surviving here were massively higher than surviving on earth. Only a hundred of us remained and the human species were basically extinct. With this small group left we had resorted to instead of trying to repopulate and exact revenge immediately we would take the short route. In the void monsters had no sort of civilization and the only rule amongst these creatures were the strongest prevail. There was no sort of rule, order, or even a sense of respect between these monsters. The weak were prey for the strongest, and the strong were killed by the stronger. We took this as an opportunity to not only increase our strength by training and battling but also amassing an empire. The remind of humanity collectively agree that we would bring order and peace to the void. The best way to go through this was by entering the tournament. The monsters held tournaments to watch the strongest fight and kill each other for pure fun. We joined this colosseum and while at first we easily overwhelmed our opponents we had slowly been facing harder and harder opponents as we rose through the ranks. By the time even a single one of us was defeated we had made a name and gained the attention of multiple monsters within the void. We were not necessarily respected or followed but we were feared and simultaneously an opponent that monsters wished to fight. After this we had developed our own fighting ring in which monster could fight and battle against us and only us. We implied a set of rules in this ring. Rule 1; no killing Rule 2; reservations must be made to fight Rule 3; both parties must consent Rule 4; do not make the fight personal Rule 5; it must be between a human and monster. These rules created a sense of security amongst the monsters and while driven by their desire of battle they also abided by the rules. Eventually after fighting throughout the tournament and gaining more traction with the monsters in it. Eventually even the most high ranked demons had begun to make reservations in for our fights. Our strongest soldiers had been the ones to fight them as nobody else can really compete. The first fight had been with a demon who had the ability of immunity. This ability did not only revolve around internal status effects but also could be applied to his physical body. The fight had been the biggest one the ring had ever experienced and it did not disappoint. Eventually we had won and this through the whole entire void and everyone in it into an uproar. Monsters who never even bothered to fight had shown up to battle. The strongest monster in the void and the only monster with a sense of order, self, and purpose had shown up to fight all humans by himself. He agreed that if we win he would pledge allegiance to us all and work under our rule however if we lose we will be killed. This monster bore an extreme resemblance humans. The structure of his body and the contents of it were all human like however he claimed not to be. This monsters name was angel and he possessed the ability to manipulate and control all matter with the sole exception of any other organic material that resided outside of his own body. Our commander and strongest member amongst us was the person to fight him. His name was Alexander and despite the fact that we didn't have any singular special powers like him however our physical bodies were honed greater than any other species in existence. They were evenly matched in speed and strength and even in our capabilities to rapidly heal from damage. They had been evenly matched in all physical ability and the fight had ultimately come to hand to hand combat and who could last longer. Angel was unmatched in combat and had barely even been hit due to how experienced in martial arts he had been; however throughout the fight Alexander had been naturally adapting to his fighting style and developing counters to everything. Our natural ability to adapt to all attacks and effects placed upon us had given a clear win condition; however time was needed to actually see and fully understand how to possibly adapt to everything. The longer the fight took the higher the chance of Angel losing. Alexander had slowly but steadily been adapting and developing new combat styles to counter everything angle could do and even had grown to use his own severed limbs as projectiles and use his blood as a coat over all other objects to cancel his ability to use his field. Angel's main ability had been to control the air around him to increase speed, power, and even get a sense of what his opponent would be doing before it happened. After finally adapting to this his body had begun to heat itself in an attempt to turn it into vapor and due to blood being organic matter of another life form he would no longer have control of the air and the surrounding area. After this the fight had come down to solely base physical capabilities and for 10 minutes they had been mindlessly brawling and instantaneously healing through the damage taken. After a long period of time their healing began to slow down due to bodily fatigue. Biting, punching, scratching, kicking, anything you can think of, they did it. That fight was a bloodbath unlike anything else and in the end they both passed out on the floor with nothing left besides their bodies soaked and bathed in each other's blood. After they had both been knocked unconscious their bodies had been left there in anticipation for them to awaken. The ring filled beyond capacity as people argued and fought about who would awaken first. In anticipation for this once in a lifetime event the whole void had stopped with all its attention. Angel was the first to awaken and he had been exhausted and utterly stunned as to how he actually had gotten knocked out. He had the opportunity to kill his opponent as he had technically won the battle but out of respect for his opponents strength and capabilities he possessed. After the fight had finished Angel had left and was never to be seen again. After 2 weeks Alexander had awoken in a small shack being guarded by one other human and confused after everything had been explained to him he had went around looking for angel but he was not to be found. After awakening Alexander had been massively stronger than before. Due to the physical state his body was put in and all the damage that he had taken from Angel his body had adapted and become more dense in order to take all the attacks while sustaining the least amount of damage possible. After his awakening this began our political revolution. We had now implemented the ring with rules and gotten multiple monsters to follow by these rules and with them being accurate to filling orders more now we had decided to initiate a leadedictator in a sense. The top 5 strongest creatures in the void had been the leaders and this had consisted of Alexander at 1, 2 other demons at 2 and 3, and humans to fill the final spots. We began to implement laws and rules in order to stop the mass murder and destruction happening and within a small time frame we had created structures similar to the ones of the earth. Houses and gyms in order to train in hopes of becoming stronger and even professional combat sports. After 2 months time had passed we had developed a military with our best members in it and humbly had began to repopulate. All this had been done in hopes of regaining the earth and defeated our oppressors. Fast forward 1 months the and the siege of the home planet had begun. They had not been suspecting us however took the preparations in case we had come. Based and soldiers set up in every corner of the world to fight back when the time came we did come back. With this an all out war for the fate of humanity had began and the extinction of either race lay in the balance between life and death.
After the war had began all forces had been deployed to different areas of the planet. Groups that had worked together best being deployed to one part while our strongest being deployed to another. At first we had been nearly even in everything besides technology. They had everything that we lacked and this gave them the combative edge. However despite lacking in technology we made up for it in numbers. Most fights had consisted of large groups of monsters fighting against one or two of our enemy and this has convoluted till their forces had been somewhat deployed. The one on one fights had been more dragged out and heavily impacted the war. Our strongest soldiers fighting against their strongest soldiers in a one on one fight. Everyone has put their all into this battle and left nothing to spare. Our second and third strongest soldiers had the most impact in this war not because of who they fought but because of what they could do. They didn’t actually have abilities specific to them but instead they were born with a type of energy within their bodies in which they called “synergy”. This synergy could be used to amp all their physical abilities but also be used to crate and use techniques or even use techniques that are specific to the traits of the individuals soul. The strength and physical stats of the individual depended on how much synergy they had at their disposal and while some of them were able to gather strength from other life forms it was not a very common occurrence. Alexander fought someone with the ability to control and manipulate momentum. They used synergy and funneled it through all objects of their choice to increase or decrease of momentum of that. This didn’t do much on a wide scale and was a very basic ability but in a solo battle this made it extremely hard to land attacks and even when they were landed they did little to no damage. The most important one to kill had the ability to manipulate all probability. Meaning the likelihood of us even winning this war was less then .0001 percent with them being alive. Whether it was because of a collection of small losses or one major loss did not make a difference. All odds were stacked against us as long as this person remained on the battlefield. In simple terms the whole war relied on the defeat of that person. Our second in command and smartest soldier, “Cassandra” decided to take this upon herself. She was the only one among us who possessed an innate ability and was viewed as the most special soldier but this came at a cost. She gained a talent no other human possessed but in return she no longer had the natural ability to adapt to all circumstances. Her ability was to take the form and attributes of any and all creature she knew to exist. Mythical or not she could take the shape and ability of these creatures and use it as long as she desired. However she could only use one at a time and had to wait 30 seconds in between shifting. Our third in command, “Vladimir” had took the roll of fighting their head technologist. While his opponent had not specialized in battle he still was one of the most dangerous and this was because of his ability to create machines as small as molecular level that shared his thoughts and emotions. These machines were used to repair his body in case on injury, transport information, invade any opponents body and restrict movement, anything that he deemed possible could be done with the use of those machines. But he chose to mainly use them as sort of technological tools to help him further advance his society. The rest of our battles were not nearly as important and were mostly group battles. Afro the beginning portion of Alexander’s fight he had been losing severely and could barely land any attacks at all. After a few minutes of getting beat down and not being able to fight back the adaptation process began. The first adaptation was only a temporary solution to the problem but his body had been explosively shooting out sharpened pieces of his bones and even using tiny droplets of blood as weapons. However this was only a temporary solution because eventually those bones and blood just started being slowed also. The final adaptation and most effective one happened when his body created a function in which he can store kinetic energy and then release it at any given time. This allowed him to rapidly boost his speed whenever his momentum had been slowed and basically cancel out his opponent power. However this still did not stop how his opponent made himself significantly faster. After this the fight had been more tipped into Alexander’s favor but still not enough to actually win. Throughout the progression of the fight Alexander had been gathering more and make friction between the clothes he had and his feet running against the floor. After gathering as much friction and kinetic energy as possible he let it all explode and release all over his body. This altered the form of his body. His body and skin began to form cracks and let off steam. He began to turn dark red and his eyes became shot with blood. His body was slowly crumbling and deteriorating. He had 5 minutes left to defeat his opponent and if he did not then his body would crumble and he would die. Due to his rapid healing factor he had a chance of living if he was able to end the fight within 5 minutes and give himself some time to rest but this all depended on how much he could get done. The battle had been tilted all the way in Alexander’s favor and had no longer been a battle. It had turned into if his opponent could outlast him in those 5 minutes. Brutally beating his opponent and taking full advantage of the situation Alexander did not relent on his rampage. Stopping his momentum no longer mattered and it seemed like the more he tried the faster Alexander got. Steam had been blowing off him. In the end he had managed to kill his opponent within those 5 minutes and had been at deaths door. Cassandra had began her battle and had been absolutely obliterating her opponent. The ability to shape shift from dragons, unicorns, hydras, centaurs, and any mythical creature you can think of. At first she had taken the abilities of a dragon but throughout the fight she had been developing into stronger and more complex creatures. After a while her opponent had been decreasing the probability of her even landing attacks. This made it extremely hard for her to fight and maintain the advantage. She took the appearance and abilities of the mythical deity sun wukong. Due to sun wukong being a monkey that ascended into a higher power he is one of the only gods that she can transform into. After this she gained the ability to not only make clones out of every hair on her body but also multiply the power of each clone. While she does not possess every power sun wukong has she possesses some of them and the most prominent ones. This fight had been a one sided beatdown and only lasted longer than 2 minutes because the probability of each clone attacking each other had been raised to its maximum percentage. Despite this every 1000 punches that had been thrown at least 1 hit her opponent and this was more than he could handle from millions of clones. Vladimir had no special capabilities; he only possessed an extremely honed body and battle experience. At first they had been near equal but the battle began to take a turn when the tiny bugs began to infest his body and eat him from the inside. Due to his advanced healing factor he had been able to stop any significant damage and fight with mild discomfort but this did not change that if he continued in for a longer period of time then he would inevitably be defeated by these bugs and killed. This made the battle a race against time. Expending everything his body had to offer and leaving not a single drop of energy left. Pushing his body to the absolute peak and physical limit. Even going beyond the known capabilities of his body he began to evolve into a higher form. He did not develop any new type of power or gain a newfound power but he did increase and rapidly evolve his physical capabilities. He began to punch with such speed and strength that he created shockwaves from breaking the sound barrier. With this his punches became far more explosive and with every punch thrown he was exploding giant parts of his opponents body and everything within the perimeter. With no regard to his surroundings the battle had destroyed everything in sight and left them fighting in a bare wasteland. Basically erasing everything within line of his punches he began to annihilate his opponent with speed and strength unmatched. Due to all the tiny machines within his body he regrow limbs and was able to counter attack with near no fatigue or even lag in his action. While pushing his body to its absolute limit his body had given up on him. Rapidly healing from constant damage, pushing muscles to their utmost limit, moving, attacking at his highest speed, and even understanding/ perception of all attacks massively faster then he could ever before. Due to all this his body began to give out and in the midst of battle he fell and was unable to recover. No longer able to fight back and maintain the performance he had, he was defeated. Being eaten from the inside, limbs being torn from his body, and being damaged so much that not even his regeneration could keep up. His head had been ripped off his body and with this humanity had suffered its first major loss. After this all other forces began to gain support from all his other bugs and humanities forces had been rapidly depleting. With loss in sight humanity had lost hope and accepted defeat. Right when humanity had accepted defeat and all hope had been lost the king had shown himself once again. Like an Angel coming to bless all of humanity he had run through and obliterated all enemies of humanity. Destroying everything in sight and bringing all enemies to his feet he had saved humanity and restored hope and just like that he had disappeared into the void once again. There was no explanation as to how or why but in that moment all of humanity knew who we would be forever grateful and indebted to. Not many opponents had been left standing but the few who were, were extremely weakened and overwhelmed by numbers. After this decisive battle humanity had been in a state of joy and excitement out of their new victory. Once all the excitement and happiness from winning had worn off all the sorrow and remorse from the losses had come rushing in. All the lost family members, dead soldiers, limbs lost, and mental trauma had taken a toll on humanity. After we had gotten our planet back we did not spend our time rebuilding and trying to repopulate. We spent months mourning the loss of our loved ones and all our soldiers. We laid in depression and sorrow for our mutual loss and mental trauma. This brought humanity closer as a whole and we bonded over our suffering. Humanity had been one but at what cost. After years of processing humanity had finally been able to rebuild all of our structures, population, and even expand to different planets. After all these trials and tribulations we had finally evolved completely and after ages of loss we had finally entered a golden age of humanity. After all this we had begun to explore the deep parts of our planet and while exploring we discovered something far beyond our comprehension. Humanity had only been a small part of a vastly bigger world and a whole new world had now been exposed to us. We had breached through the ice caps of the north pole and had been greeted with hostility from a race on our planet we did not even know existed. After entering this “new world” humanity had found out the truth of our existence and creation. After finding out the truth of our creation and the prophecy of our faith we had all collectively regretted winning that war. Beyond our world laid horrors and truths we were not yet prepared for. After all this we had once again been thrown into a dark age with no will to fight. In the end this was the beginning of the end for humanity…

May 14, 2024 Dev Release 29 Greeting BlockDAG Community,
Hope you'll had a blasting weekend Building on our BlockDAG Mining Discussion: Following up on our conversation about mining algorithms last week, let's delve deeper into the RandomX protocol. It emerged as a promising candidate during our discussions, and we believe it warrants a closer technical examination to understand its suitability for our BlockDAG project.
Key Points:
We'll be resuming our exploration of BlockDAG mining implementation. As a reminder, Mondays are typically filled with planning meetings. Building on our initial discussion about mining algorithms, let's focus on RandomX.
We'll explore the technical aspects of RandomX to assess its viability. What is RandomX protocol and let's understand the importance for us RandomX has become a cornerstone for many blockchain projects prioritizing decentralization and fair mining practices. This Proof-of-Work (PoW) algorithm stands out for its focus on CPU utilization, making it resistant to specialized hardware like ASICs.
There are various reasons why we're considering it as an optimized algorithm for us:
Performance Optimization:
While RandomX is CPU-centric, knowledge of its workings can help optimize mining software for better performance on specific CPU architectures. CPU mining allows regular users to participate in the mining process, fostering a more inclusive network.
Security Audits:
Familiarity with RandomX's design principles can aid in security audits, allowing you to identify potential vulnerabilities in your own PoW implementation. The algorithm leverages established cryptographic tools like AES, Blake2, and Argon2 to ensure overall security.
As we claim for performance and security this protocol has been our very first choice for the algorithm.
RandomX in BlockDAG:
A Technical Deep Dive RandomX achieves its CPU-friendliness and ASIC resistance through a combination of techniques:
Random Code Execution: Pseudo Code: function GenerateRandomInstruction():
// Generate random instruction from SRVVM instruction set
// (integefloating-point arithmetic, conditional branches, memory access)
return instruction
function GenerateProgram():
program = [] for i in range(program_size):

 program.append(GenerateRandomInstruction()) 

return program
The algorithm dynamically generates instructions (code) at runtime using the SRVVM instruction set. This thwarts ASICs, which are designed to excel at executing pre-defined sets of instructions efficiently.
Now let's get into the implementation of RandomX protocol in BlockDAG:
As our blockchain is DAG (Directed Acyclic Graph) based, the mining process and consensus mechanism may differ from a traditional blockchain with a linear structure. In a BlockDAG blockchain, transactions will be represented as vertices in a graph, and blocks are not necessarily organized in a linear sequence.
RandomX algorithm Here's how the RandomX algorithm could be adapted for BlockDAG:
Transaction Inclusion: Miners select transactions from the DAG to include in the block they are mining. These transactions will be chosen based on factors like transaction fees and priority.
RandomX Initialization:
The RandomX algorithm initializes a dataset based on the state of the DAG. However, since the DAG structure may change dynamically with new transactions, the dataset initialization process needs to account for this by incorporating the latest DAG state.
Cache Initialization:
Miners create a cache from the RandomX dataset, as before, but they may need to adjust the cache creation process to accommodate the DAG structure. Each mining thread creates its own cache, potentially incorporating different parts of the dataset based on the DAG state.
Mining Process:
Miners execute the RandomX hashing function on the cache and the block data, as before. The resulting hash is compared against the target difficulty, and if it meets the criteria, the miner successfully mines a block.

1. Verification: Other nodes in the network verify the mined block by independently executing the RandomX hashing function and validating the transactions included in the block. Since the blockchain is DAG-based, nodes may need to traverse the DAG to verify the transactions' validity.

Here's a high-level pseudocode representation of the mining process:
function RandomX(cache, input):
// Perform a series of mathematical operations on the cache and input
// to generate a hash result
result = ComputeHash(cache, input)
return result
function MineBlock():
// Initialize RandomX dataset based on the current state of the DAG
dataset = InitializeDataset()
// Create cache for each mining thread
for thread in mining_threads:

 cache[thread] = CreateCache(dataset) 

// Mining loop
while true:

 for thread in mining_threads: // Select transactions to include in the block from the DAG selected_transactions = SelectTransactionsFromDAG() // Execute RandomX hashing function on cache and block data hash_result = RandomX(cache[thread], selected_transactions) // Check if hash result meets difficulty criteria if hash_result < target_difficulty: // Block successfully mined return hash_result 

This pseudocode outlines the basic steps involved in mining a block on BlockDAG using the RandomX algorithm.
Detailed pseudo code Here is the detailed pseudo code our implementation:
function GenerateRandomInstruction():
// Generates a random instruction from the SRVVM instruction set
// (includes integefloating-point arithmetic, conditional branches, memory access)
return instruction
function GenerateProgram():
program = []
for i in range(program_size): program.append(GenerateRandomInstruction())
return program
function InitializeRandomXDataset(dag):
// Initialize RandomX dataset based on the current state of the DAG
dataset = [] for vertex in dag.vertices: dataset.append(Hash(vertex.data))
// Hashing each vertex's data for dataset initialization
return dataset
function CreateCache(dataset):
// Create cache for RandomX computation
cache = []
for i in range(cache_size):

 cache.append(dataset[RandomIndexInRange(0, len(dataset))]) // Randomly select dataset entries for cache return cache 

function RandomX(cache, input):
// Perform RandomX hashing function on cache and input
result = ComputeHash(cache, input)
return result
function MineBlock(dag, mining_threads):
// Initialize RandomX dataset based on the current state of the DAG
dataset = InitializeRandomXDataset(dag)
// Create cache for each mining thread
for thread in mining_threads:

 cache[thread] = CreateCache(dataset) 

// Mining loop
while true:

 for thread in mining_threads: // Select transactions to include in the block from the DAG selected_transactions = SelectTransactionsFromDAG(dag) // Execute RandomX hashing function on cache and block data hash_result = RandomX(cache[thread], selected_transactions) // Check if hash result meets difficulty criteria if hash_result < target_difficulty: // Block successfully mined return hash_result 

Stay tuned! As we move forward towards the core of the technical implementation these algorithms will become more and more meaningful. Stay tuned for further updates!

This short survey is part of a PhD thesis. It is to determine current levels of well-being as is related to school performance during your last two years of high school. Thank you for your time.

Send me your survey and I'll fill it out.

https://qualtricsxm4knnbfzyr.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3E0HBBhoDqUmYlg

The winning team of Mnet's survival program Build Up'',HunMinJayBit'', will embark on a new challenge as a vocal group, BDU.
BDU members JAY CHANG, ONE PACT, Bitsaeon (MONT), Seunghoon (CIX), and Kim Min-seo recently held an interview at the OSEN building and talked about their thoughts on winning Mnet's ``Build Up.''
Build Up,'' which recently ended airing in South Korea, is a survival program in which talented singers who are confident in their vocals and love singing, regardless of genre, collaborate to create the best four-member vocal boy group. Jay, Bisseon, Seunghoon, and Kim Min-seo, who worked together asHeungmin Jaebit'' on the program, overcame fierce competition to win and will debut as a four-member group, BDU.
The four members said, As our first official schedule, we took a profile picture.We are preparing an album for the first half of the year, so we have received the songs and are listening to them.''They added,We will soon start living in the dormitory.'' I told him about the current situation.
When asked about his thoughts on winning, Bisseon said, I'm very happy.I was happy because I won first place for the first time in my life, and I'm glad that there are other members who can do it together.Everyone worked hard inBuild Up.'' , I'm glad that I was able to achieve a result that feels worth it even though I worked so hard. I would also like to thank all the fans." Seunghoon continued, ``I couldn't believe it at the moment I won.It would be great if I could win, but that wasn't my goal, so I'm grateful that the group was formed.I cherish the stage.'' I felt satisfied that I was able to do this because I practiced while thinking about it.I would also like to express my gratitude to all the fans who have supported me from the beginning."
Jay also said, I was happy to appear on the showBuild Up,'' meet some wonderful friends, and stand on a great stage.I'm happy to be able to sing as BDU thanks to the fans.'' From now on, we will do our best to show only our cool side to the fans who chose us."
Kim Min-seo said, I didn't expect to win either, but it felt like a dream and I was so happy. I had an experience that I'll never have again, so I think it's an important memory that will stay in my life. We're happy to be able to work together. Since you've supported us, we need to repay you, so we'll do our best." BDU is an abbreviation forBoys Define Universe,'' and it means that four people, each with different personalities, will come together to create a new universe. For two years, they plan to release music and albums as well as conduct various activities including touring in Korea and globally.
In particular, the winning team of Build Up'' will be awarded a prize of 100 million won (approximately 8.9 million yen). The members revealed that they have not yet received their prize money, but plan to divide it equally. Bisseon said,The prize money has a lot of meaning and is precious money.I want to give back to the people who helped me and put the rest in my bankbook and just look at it.''
Jay also said, I want to give back to the people who supported me and save money for the rest,'' and Seunghoon said,I don't care about the amount, but it's the first time I've won first place, so I think it's a waste to spend it.'' The money means so much to me that I haven't thought about it yet." Kim Min-seo said, ``I also feel like it would be a waste to spend it.Even if I actually receive a lot of money, it would be a waste to spend it because it was money from winning 'Build Up,' so I would like to thank all the people who supported me. I think I'll buy him some food and save the rest," he added.
HunMinJayBit, which was formed by Jay's selection of members, has emerged as a group with solid talent, visuals, and ability as an all-rounder. Regarding the selection criteria for the members, Jay said, ``I wanted to create a group with all-rounders who can do a wide range of things.Since I'm from the same company as Bisseon, I've been watching him for a long time, and I've seen him sing in a variety of genres. I had watched a lot of them, and I thought we would get along well with each other, so I chose Seunghoon right away.He showed a new side from the beginning to the end of the show, so I think Minseo was exactly what you would call an all-rounder. However, he continued to show that he was a trainee.I felt that he had a lot of potential, and I chose him after seeing his growth.Even though I wasn't the first to choose him, I had high hopes for him. I'm very happy that I was able to choose the members who will do it."
When asked about his future plans, Seunghoon said, ``Although there are no specific dates yet, we are planning to release an album in the first half of the year, and are making various preparations.This year's goal is to release two albums. We're planning to perform music that makes use of our vocals, which is our strength. No matter how difficult the songs are to dance to, we'll be performing them using handheld microphones."
Regarding the group BDU, Bisseon said, We are the main vocalist in each group, but each group has its own color and style, so I think I've only shown a limited style.This time, I'd like to introduce the main vocalist, a person who likes singing. Now that we have come together, we would like to do a variety of activities on stage and music where we can showcase our individual vocals.Although we all have different colors, there is a synergy that emerges when we come together. So, when our fans listen to it, we want to give them high-quality music that will make them think that we are the winners of vocal survival." The members have appeared on various survival programs such asBOYS PLANET'', PEAK TIME'', andYG TREASURE BOX'', but what prompted them to try out for another audition program?
Kim Min-seo said, Originally, I was a trainee, but I was rejected from the debut group, so I decided not to become an idol.However, I wanted to do music, so I was alone for about a year. I was struggling, but there were many difficult times, and I was unsure about things, so I think I needed some inspiration.At that time, the opportunity to appear onBuild Up'' came and I received the offer. I said I would do it right away, and I worked actively on it." Jay said, WhenBOYS PLANET'' ended last year, there was a part of me that doubted whether I had been able to show them enough.When the opportunity for Build Up'' came, I thought I would be able to do it well enough. I decided to appear on the show because I thought I could prove my vocal ability.'' Seunghoon said,I gained a lot from appearing on 'YG Treasure Box' six years ago.At that time, I was able to hit high notes. I wasn't able to do it, but I was able to hit high notes throughout the show.When I heard that ``Build Up'' was a vocal show, I wanted to try my hand at that.''
Bisseon also said, I recently appeared on a survival show, and I thought I would never do it again, but when I heard that it was a vocal survival show, I wanted to try it. Although there was some pressure, I took on the challenge because I thought that regardless of whether I got a good result throughBuild Up'' or not, the experience would have a positive influence on my singing in the future.'' Except for Kim Min-seo, who was a trainee, Bisseon belonged to MONT, Seunghoon belonged to CIX, and Jay belonged to ONE PACT, and they were already active as an idol group.
Seunghoon said, All the members supported me. They told me to come on the show and show what I wanted to show, and they encouraged me to do well without getting nervous every round.'' I was able to do so well because of that kind of support.'' Jay also said,From the beginning, the members supported me very hard and gave me a lot of advice.They supported me and wanted me to show it to the world, so I was able to give a lot of my strength.'' talked.
Bisseon said, At each new round, I shared with the members how to present the stage and received a lot of advice.I received a lot of strength.When the winning team was announced at the end of the final, the members also "I was there, but it felt strange. They were happy together." When asked about the most memorable reaction, Seunghoon said,One of the things that was a little difficult for me while appearing on ``Build Up'' was that people looked at me in a slightly negative way after I decided to appear on this show.'' There were some people there who were our fans, so it was mentally tough for me," he said. ) The painful feeling started to feel rewarding. It was a great opportunity for people to get to know me and the team, and I felt like I was accomplishing that goal. I felt better, and I think I've enjoyed it more since then," he said frankly.
Finally B․ D․ When asked about his goals as a member of the U, he said, I definitely want to go to the award ceremony at the end of the year, either this year or next.It's a place where I can show off my vocals, so I definitely want to go.'' I want to show it to you.'' Bisseon expressed confidence,I want to hold a solo concert in Korea during B․D․U's promotion period and fill a large stadium.''
Next, Jay said, When I was young, I dreamed of becoming a singer because of the songs of various singers. I would be happy if B․D․U could be a group that had that kind of influence.'' Kim Min Seo said, I would be happy if our music made it onto the charts. Our goals are big and we want to rank No. 1."
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