I've been prescribed 50mg setraline on top of adderall due to underlying depression issues. I've had a very mixed experience with ssri's and I've been wanting to discuss it. A few months back I had an incident at work which put me into a deep depression. I'd also like to mention that ive been diagnosed with ADHD/depression my whole life. The first few weeks I had this burst of energy I haven't had in awhile. I noticed that started to fade and I would say I leveled out, not quite as energetic but definitely more level headed and rational than before.
Recently, a couple weeks ago, I decided to play doctor with my meds and doubled my adderall dose while still taking my setraline as prescribed. This Is when I gained the mental clarity people talk about when taking adderall and it felt like I was 20 pounds lighter and It felt like I doubled my attention span and memory, almost zen like.This is were the ssris come in.
After a little bit of this I noticed that my emotions started to fade slowly every day. Up until last week from now I felt like an emotionless zombie. My brain was finally quiet but I couldn't bring myself to care about anything, and not in the depressive way where your so worried about the future that you've got no energy to care about the present, but I felt truly blank inside, absolutely nothing would phase me. I still had the mental clarity but everyone's opinions and worries all felt very superficial and I felt as if I could tackle any problem without a single care or worry.
Two days ago I "thought" my ssris stopped working and I would take a week off of them to re evaluate if I even still needed them as i try to do with my vices. I do. Yesterday was the first day without, I was slightly irritated by everyone and everything,I'd say my emotional state was twice as blank, if possible, i have no way to describe it but definitely didn't feel like me. Today has been miserable, I couldn't hold a thought for more than a minute. I was confused and completely forgetful of everything, I'd say worse than when I wasn't medicated, and just stressed. Not to mention being forgetful in my career can be dangerous and easily lose my job which is why I'm now so nervous about this medication.
I'm taking them again tomorrow. They may make me a bit cynical and closed off but I'm honestly terrified of regressing to my past state. I never want to lose that clarity again. Maybe I'll start slowly reducing the dose and see what happens. I hope one day I reach a point where I no longer need to rely on meds to get me through my life but for now I just don't think I can handle it.

Hi everyone,
My name is Tess. I'm 23 and from Wisconsin. I like to read, write, sing, play cozy games, practice self care, and talk to my friends.
DMs are open if you'd like to chat. Send me an interesting question or conversation starter!! :)
Please no dirty or relationship related texts - I'm taken. Thanks :)

Hi (24F)
It’s been a year since my breakup and it was horrible, I’ve never loved someone as I loved him, for sure. I struggled for a lot of months to the point where I can say that therapy saved me, I realized so much about myself, my family, my trauma and from that point, a lot of things in my life changed drastically for the better because of it
The thing is, I feel like a I don’t want to put myself into all that pain again. I think I’m scared. I just think about the idea of dating, texting, hanging out, having to plan your week for someone, having to save money to hang out with someone, etc, etc. I never thought about all that work before. And that’s just in the dating months. Then comes more commitment, plans, family, efforts.
I think about it and get overwhelmed and feel like I would abandon myself again if I meet someone new, but also, I do really want to meet someone new too. Someone that aligns with the person I am today and perhaps have a more mature and conscious kind of love.
I’ve talked to friends and they tell me to take my time but I’m afraid that if I take my time, I will start isolating or getting comfortable with my solitude or even worse, getting so used to it that I would find a partner unbearable.
Have you experienced this, it is a phase? Am I still in a grieving process? I would really love to read your advice or thoughts or experiences.
Thank you so much for reading.

My partner and I have some issues. We have 2 young kids and my spouse is a SAHP while I work full time. We’ve had a few arguments that have escalated to screaming in front of the kids and my partner has broken things (privately, but we could hear it). Anyway, after the most recent one, we talked about it afterwards and agreed it was embarrassing and we need help from a therapist. I’ve been sharing some of the arguments with a friend for support and when I told them about this they basically said they are scared for me and the kids and think I should leave.
I have definitely considered leaving many times, but I do want to give counseling a try. I do think we could turn a corner. I’m really struggling with my friend’s comments because on the one hand, some of this behavior could be abuse, but on the other, it could just be both of us being toxic to each other. But then I think maybe I’m just being gaslit by my partner and this is just another “honeymoon” phase of the abuse cycle. I don’t want to get another 5-10 years into the relationship and feel like I’ve wasted my life. And I also worry about the example I’m setting for my kids, abuse or not.
I’m also worried that if I do stay my friend will judge me and I’ll never be able to bring my spouse around them without more conflict.

For background my wife Lola (38F) and I (37M) are swingers, we have rules and because of those rules it works in OUR marriage. Occasionally Lola will tell her childhood best friend Jessica (40F) about our crazy fun nights, which kinda lead to this ordeal.
So 3 years ago Jessica and her husband started going on a health kick and began drastically loosing weight, my wife and I fully supported this. Jessica would explain that she happily lost 85 lbs while her husband Rodger would complain that the diet makes him miserable he too lost about 45 lbs.
This went on for over 2 years and all things considered they both look amazing. But I noticed that they were getting distant towards each other.
One Friday night in January, Jessica called begging us to pick her up and get her out of her house (some type of trouble at home). So we drive over and instead of us coming in and saying hi to everyone she basically rushes out, saying Rodger was downstairs pissed and refused to come out.
We went to a local pool bar and when we’re asking what the deal was Jessica asks Lola to talk privately. I go to buy the next few rounds and when I come comeback Lola is noticeably shook, face is pale white. I try to press for information but get the “don’t worry about it” although Jessica does let a few thing slip throughout the night. Apparently she and Rodger haven’t had sex in a while and Rodger had started eating out again, constantly. We play our games, enjoy our drinks, then drop Jessica off her house.
Jessica asks me to talk to Rodger and try to cheer him up. Keep in mind I don’t know anything, so I get him a beer from the fridge and join him in the basement. I ask him what gives and instead of talking to me about the subject he brings up baseball stats and starts texting me.
“What would you do if your wife cheated on you? Jess has been having an affair, for over 2 years”
Realizing what he’s doing I start talking about the team’s short stop and wait for the next message.
“The bitch made me starve myself for years, just to make me a cuck. The only reason we’re on that stupid diet and going to the gym is because Jessicas fling wanted her skinny enough to pick up and pin to a wall” Swinger or not, I feel bad for any person who’s being cheated on.
Fast forward through the bulk of his texts, apparently he suspected Jessica of cheating, so Rodger installed security cameras without telling her. Then later that week he had proof, her co-worker Petter “came by to drop off some things” immediately after Rodger left for work, stayed for about 40 mins then left clothes all messed up. When Rodger got home he found used condoms in the trash and dirty lingerie in the hamper. That was roughly last September, in November he confronted her about “thinking” she was cheating, he explained that he wouldn’t ask if she was, but if she was and broke it off, they could do therapy to fix their relationship, basically giving her an out. However he got very depressed and the relationship just kinda fizzled out, keep in mind he was actively telling me this in January.
Apparently that morning Rodger had taken their kids out of school to go to the hospital for a paternity test. (Yes both kids are his, but that act of pulling them out of school caused additional drama) I did what I could to comfort him, asked what I could do to help. He typed he had everything under control but if he did eventually file for a divorce he asked I talk to his lawyer about him getting custody. I said yes and he told me he’d give me more info on Monday.
After that I had to go, my wife and I said our goodbyes then went back up our car. Lola immediately told me Jessica’s side of the story, because yeah we don’t keep secrets at all. Apparently Jessica wanted to be swingers like us. Lola’s stories inspired Jessica to ask Rodger he said no.
Rodger is apparently very Vanilla “missionary only and only for reproduction” kinda guy. And that was ultimately what caused Jessica to cheat with Petter, who did not love her back just liked having a regular FWB.
We both talk about them while driving home and I showed Lola all the texts from Rodger. Which ultimately caused us to fight. Lola got mad at me for saying Rodger was a Victim because Jessica cheated, she forced him to go on a crazy diet and join a costly gym just to further her affair, and that he is justified in demanding a paternity test for their two kids. Additionally if he want to file for divorce that’s understandable but Lola felt Jessica was the Victim (or about to be one) because Rodger went behind her back to conduct the paternity test and his due to depression eventually making it their sex life non-existent, if he wants to try and rebuild their relationship he needs to follow through with the “adult time”. And she says that regardless of the reason behind it the diet did get them in better shape, a the ends justifies the means kinda thing.
Eventually Lola told Jessica that Rodger was thinking about it and that caused a big fight at their house, Rodger left and stayed at his parents house for the weekend. Monday came and went and he didn’t tell me anything so I assumed they tried to repair things.
That following Thursday, Rodger served her divorce papers while she was at work. And he had told Jessica boss about affairs mentioning he had videos proving it (multiple, all 3 months worth of Petter visiting prior to him confronting her, and one dated afterward when she “stopped” seeing him ) Peter and Jessica were both fired shortly after as part of a breach in contract due to inner office relations.
Lola keeps saying I need to help Jessica, since she’s a single mom of two and is about to be homeless and unemployed, apparently since the divorce Jessica’s entire family found out the full details (to include that we’re swingers and have distance themselves from all of us, it’s a small community so the gossip spread around) and no one is helping Jessica except my wife.
It is now May and they have fully divorced. Rodger is finally talking to me again, for a while he assumed we’d played with his wife which I explained no we haven’t. We brought it up once long before they were dating but decided she’s too much of a friend that she’s almost family and it’d be weird. He now has partial custody and although he lost most his things in the divorce, they agreed to sell their house although she’ll get the higher percentage. I took Rodger to find an affordable 3 bedroom for when he has the kids.
My wife says I’m being sexist only helping the guy because I’m a guy. However I feel he is a complete victim here. Regardless what a judge says, his wife cheated and ruined their family. I’m unsure if he went too far by serving her papers at work, he definitely should’ve told her boss about who the other man was but yeah overall I think he’s the victim.
AITA for siding with Rodger?

I am so fucking sad, man.
My mom abandoned me in elementary school. She told CPS I was too dirty. She’s an addict. I then lived with my dad after that, until I was 16 years old and my dad’s girlfriend stabbed me with a knife and I was forced to leave the house. It’s a long story, but, the TLDR is that my dad abandoned me after that & stayed with my abuser. I couch surfed for the rest of high school until I left for the military 4 days after high school graduation. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
My dad is also an addict. He was a very heavy drinker for 20 something years until he almost died in March 2022 & spent three weeks in the hospital. He is now sober from alcohol, even up to this day. Four months into his sobriety, he was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer.
I’m 29 now and I’ve been working on my relationship with my dad since he’s been sober. I have been NC with my mom for five years now. My sister is in the military and lives in England, so my dad and I decided to take a trip to go see her. I paid for both of our tickets to come here. We’re here now in the UK. This entire trip he’s been verbally abusing me. If I get upset about him treating me poorly, he gets even more mad at me because he “doesn’t do emotions.” He lashed out at me multiple times in one day & when I tried to talk to him about it, I was met with insults and him mocking me. I asked him to not speak to me like that, and he said that I had to earn his respect in order to get it. He called me a fucking moron in that argument because “I ruined his day by being upset,” and when I told him that hurt my feelings, he doubled down and called me it again.
He then had the audacity later in the day to talk to me about how his parents abandoning him had a profound effect on him. In the same argument I mentioned earlier, he mocked my mental health issues (I hate PTSD from being stabbed as a young girl and I have pretty bad abandonment issues) and he said he laughs at people like me who say they have psych issues.
He gave me a shitty apology at the end of it all and I tried to move on with the vacation. Yesterday we went golfing and he lashed out at me again…. Unprovoked, again, because he didn’t like where my golf cart was parked when I went to take my turn???? Idfk, my sister and I still don’t know why he was so mad.
I bought a house recently and I asked him to come spend thanksgiving with me. He immediately said no, he’s gonna do something with his gf I and her family instead he thinks. That triggered my abandonment issues. I spent most holidays alone after getting stabbed, and when he would show up he would be shit faced drunk.
I just melted down after that. I feel like he just fucking hates me dude. My sister asked me not to bring it up to him because it’s our last night here and she doesn’t know if she’ll ever see him again after this & she doesn’t want her last memory of him to be bad. She is also very avoidant with emotions. I’ve been in my room crying all day. I feel like my love will never be enough for him. All I want is for him to love me like I love him. I feel fucking DUMB for still wanting my dad’s love after almost 20 years of this. I feel like I need to cut the cord finally, but how do I do that when he’s literally terminally ill? I feel horrible 😭💔💔
Tomorrow we go back home to the states. I live in Nevada and my dad lives in Ohio. He’s terminal, idk if I’ll ever see him again either, especially after this. I told him that I feel like he genuinely dislikes me, and all he said was “ok.”
Has anyone else gone through anything like this? How were you able to deattach? It feels truly impossible. Thanks in advance for any positive pearls of wisdom, I don’t have many people in my life to bounce off of and my heart is broken. 😔

I found a random video on my yt feed today talking about narcissistic people and thought little of it, so I started watching. everything is accurate, the inflated self-worth, the fragile ego, I hate it, I went to the comments to get away and started reading to idk convince myself I'm going insane, that there is no possible way this is me.
Reading about peoples past relationships with one hurt, it made me realize that my ex (who just left me not even a week ago) knew these signs and did this to protect herself.
I constantly wanted attention, I thought I was just clingy (I may still be without this) but I realize that constantly texting her, wanting to be with her, jealousy, everything put together just slapped me in the face and that I am an awful person.
I need help, and I cant do this anymore, Its hurting the people around me, I thought I was on a self-improvement phase but I never found the underlying issue.
Well I found it, and I realize I need to change, I don't know what to do or who to seek , some sort of psychotherapy for narcissism? I don't know where to start but I need to change, how can I even start, my mentality is so warped and frankly disgusting that I don't even know what to do.
I'm sorry for the bother, I've never written on reddit or anything even remotely similar to this, and its quite new to me, thank you for reading.

From my Fetlife. Prepare for cringefest. Tell me your thoughts about my cringe.
Hello, everyone. I'd like to introduce myself to you.
Ever since I turned 20, I've been dreaming of becoming another woman's housewife (or, as I like to say, a "wifey"), but I've never exactly known how to make it become a reality. I've always been an extremely submissive person and life hasn't treated me very well both for being like that and for trying not to be like that. I score extremely highly in agreeableness and I take great pleasure in serving those I care for. Specifically and preferably, a woman I love and who also loves me. Today, I'm looking for a romantic, ordinary and 100% monogamous relationship with a woman, but one that includes the element of dominance and submission and the possibility of me being her full-time housewife. While she works, I take care of the house. When she comes home, I take care of her. Always very lovingly and completely given to her body and soul as well as to the household's domestic duties. In practice, I want to be the woman in the relationship. I want to go far beyond the basics such as cooking and cleaning: I want to be responsible for doing her nails, her make-up and giving her massages whenever she wants them. I want to learn to cook everything she likes to eat. Maybe even learn gardening to take care of her plants. Perhaps the origin of this is an innate need of mine to be necessary and useful to someone and I guess that is how it is.
Inevitably, I believe this relationship would also include elements of platonic worship. The reason for this is that I have always harboured an adoration for the female figure, the female energy, the female essence and the female appearance. None of this is sexual. In fact, I feel that this element of platonic worship is so strong that I would even feel uncomfortable seeing my dominating partner naked because it would make me feel the same dirty lust for her that I'd feel for porn actresses when I'd watch their movies and I feel that this would be disrespectful to her and to what her image represents to me. This adoration for the female figure is also one of the reasons for my gender transition, which began in September of 2023. I admire the feminine image so much that I want to make it a part of me. I don't like being a man, looking like a man, being treated like a man, behaving like a man and, God fobid, dealing with masculine gender roles. I have an enormous need to feminize my gender expression because that's what makes me happy.
For reasons that are far beyond my control and that may sound cheesy, I always end up seeing women whom I find beautiful to be superior to me. Not in a bad way, but simply in a kind of hierarchy where I'm below them. So, for some reason, I feel fulfilled imagining myself serving them in a completely devoted way. In a way, I can sum myself up as a human Golden Retriever in terms of loyalty, perhaps to pathological levels. Such a level of unexplored and repressed loyalty that I can easily imagine myself getting so deeply involved with the right woman and creating an emotional bond so indestructible that I would go as far as burying a body with her without giving it a second thought. It's as if there were a hurricane inside me waiting for the ideal conditions to form and destroy everything in its path to reach its goal. My goal is domestic servitude within a romantic relationship and this storm inside me will only grow larger and larger over time. I don't see much value in ordinary work as in working for a company. I only see meaning and purpose in domestic work in a relationship for and with a woman I love with great obedience, dedication, submission and gratitude. I don't see myself as a leader, but as someone to be led.
I come from a place where I suffered a lot of verbal abuse directed at my appearance for being too thin and I see that the world today is full of evil people with an evil intent who get off at doing evil things and also of people who omit themselves when they observe evil being done and end up becoming accomplices by omission. All of this makes me really want to put myself in a kind of safe space with someone trustworthy where I don't have to be constantly watching over my shoulder in order to check whether there already are vultures circling me from above waiting for the ideal moment to pounce. I look like an easy victim for predators and I've always attracted them without any difficulty, unfortunately. I am soft and highly sought by them. I want to be able, if only for a few hours, to let my guard down completely knowing that I'm not in danger and that I'm with someone well-intending who, at worst, doesn't wish me harm and, at best, actively cares about my well-being. In other words, a relationship like any other. I very much want and like the idea of giving myself body and soul to a woman who has consideration for me, for whom I have value and who is in charge of the relationship (FLR). As I said, I want to put myself in a situation of total vulnerability in a controlled and safe environment with a person I can trust and who means well. I want to put myself below them in every situation and always put them before myself unconditionally. I want to live under domestic servitude, as well as having a romantic, ordinary, monogamous relationship like any other. If there's no love, there's no point. I can't explain exactly what I feel, but I see this dynamic as the most honest way I can express love to my owner, mistress and friend. This is the rawest and most sincere manifestation of my personality. And please don't get me wrong: I'm not here trying to "cure" myself through BDSM or draw attention to myself by talking about my problems that nobody cares about. I'm just putting all this into context and explaining objective reality as it is, that's all.
I have no idea how I'm going to fulfill this dream and where I'm going to find this woman. I see a lot of profiles here of dommes who are only in it for fetishistic reasons and to make money and that makes me a little sad. But I understand, since a relationship can end up being a very big responsibility and many women don't want this kind of burden in their lives. Not to mention that the temptation of financial gain must be too great for them not to take advantage of. And in an economy like this, I think it will be considerably difficult to find a woman who will want to keep someone at home without generating income just taking care of the household chores. The odds don't seem to be in my favor and the entire setting seems less than ideal.
I feel disgusted by and abhor any fetish scenario that involves the element of being a housewife, maid and the like, especially if it includes elements of humiliation for carrying out such activity. I understand that for some it can be pleasurable, but for me it's despicable. I can't associate being a housewife with something humiliating and if that's your intention with me, don't get in touch. As for sexual activity in general in a relationship, I don't have much to say. Hormone replacement therapy completely obliterated my libido and I see no purpose in any activity that promotes my sexual pleasure. To all intents and purposes, I've become somewhat asexual. I'd accept being penetrated by my domme if she wanted to, since I'd put her wishes before my own, but I feel it's hardly something I'd ask for. I'm much more interested in the emotional side of the relationship than the sexual.
Still on the subject of sexuality, I feel that the word "virgin" isn't accurate enough to describe myself. This word is used to refer to people who have never had sex, which is my case, but I've also never had any other intimate experience with a woman. It's not that I've never had sex, I've never even hugged a woman in bed. I've barely experienced any degree of intimacy with a woman before. I suppose this complete lack of sexual experience will be viewed in a very bad light by the women I seek, but I don't think there's much I can do about it. I have no interest in having these first experiences with, for example, a prostitute because I'm looking for a real emotional connection in a legitimate relationship. I'm a romantic and I have no choice but to wait.
I can't imagine a life in which I allow this dream not to come true. It can't not happen. If it doesn't, I'll have an extremely bitter deathbed full of regrets.
When it comes to the woman I'm looking for, I only have three demands: don't be a drug user (cigarretes included), be a gentle domme and unconditionally monogamous.
My gratitude for you will be eternal and my debt to you unpayable.
I hope the woman I'm looking for is out there waiting to be found.

I’ve left posts on here and deleted them because my brain is like “lol nope.” Despite all of the kind responses I’ve gotten. Also I’m reposting this from MtF with a few additions, so sorry again. I know you see all the “Am I Trans” post, and it isn’t me throwing more to that. I know I have those feelings deep down.
To throw things into to gear (again)
I am 25 AMAB. I’ve had some spouts of gender dysphoria over the last few years. 2021 for a little bit. The end of 2022 and start of 2023 for much longer, and again this year. I could say “spouts” but honestly I feel that it’s always been there in some way.
-I hate the masc form that I’m in. I want to be small and pretty and petite. I hate the excessive body hair. I hate having to be “the strong one.”
-I’m bald and I miss having longer hair. I remember when my hairline started to go that I was constantly crying my hair was ruined. When I shaved, I felt fine. Now I just sad it isn’t longer and it won’t grow back full.
-I’ve always felt comfortable around women, and a large chunk of my friends are female. I get along easier with them. I find it harder to be friends with men most of the time.
-I’ve been getting really envious of women. I would like to have their body, the clothes they wear. I am also really jealous of transwomen for what I just said but also because they are living their authentic selves. I want to be beautiful too, I look like 🗿.
-Let me also mention in high school, I told an ex of mine that “Girls have it so much easier than guys” and “I would rather be a woman.”
-When I was exploring myself originally, I looked and seemed happier. I saw an authentic smile with each feminine selfie. I was trying out clothes, I had a wig, and I was shaving my body constantly..I felt happier.
I’ve read the resources you’ve all given me with “Am I Trans?” posts. I mean correct me if I’m wrong but that’s some gender dysphoria. I’ve had these thoughts for awhile and it faded. Why did it just disappear? I get thoughts can fade but it clearly is resonating. I feel it has to do when I mentioned it to my mom and she said “it’s probably just a phase,” but she told me she’d still love me either way. I feel I heard that and everything retreated.
The switch flipped and I went back to unhappy boy. I let my beard/body hair grow out, I stopped taking my meds (I have been yelled at by my friends), and I haven’t told people (family/therapist) that because I know what the reaction would be. I just emotionally shut down. All my progress and happiness with it gone. I go through my day as an empty shell. I stopped being myself.
My therapist wants me to explore my identity. Mainly because I reached out to her about it over a year and a half ago. I’m just a little scared? I don’t know how to think about it, how to feel about it. I have all this anxiety. Maybe I am worried of how everyone would perceive me. The friends I’ve told are supportive. But what about everyone else? I know I shouldn’t care what others think but that’s all I can do. I’m so self conscious and worried about how others look at me.
I’ve spoken with a friend who is transmasc, and I can’t be more grateful for what he said to me, and same with my nonbinary friend who I’m grateful for their words to me. I wish I knew more transfems that I could talk with regarding this since there is more of a shared experience (best way I could word it and if that comes off poorly then I am sorry).
I know everyone’s journey is their own. I’m sorry that this has become rambling a lot of nonsense near the end, or if this isn’t the right place for this.
Can I just get some advice to help me push forward and what’s to come?
Thanks ❤️

I’ve been wanting to post for a couple months now, but talk myself out of it every time but I’m really losing my mind now. I have a doctor appointment set for Monday but with the terrible health care in my town I’m not very hopeful but hopefully it can lead somewhere.
Female, about to be 27, overall healthy besides the fact I’ve been overweight my entire life. I have had a really bad vitamin D deficiency for a few years but was always bad at taking supplements.
In November after a long car ride I got out of the car and my legs felt very weak and like they were shaking inside it was really strong at first and then it calmed down but the whole night my legs felt like they were shaking/buzzing. The next day I felt normal, a couple of months later we did the same long trip and the same thing happened; I told myself it would go away in a couple of days but it didn’t really. My legs felt like they were buzzing non stop for a few weeks, then the twitching began. I had made a dr appointment for the initial buzzing sensations and I got an ultra sound done to check for blood clots. The ultra sound found nothing. A few days before that appointment I started getting random twitching in both my legs. I don’t really remember where but I think my calves and thighs. I hadn’t even mentioned it at my appointment. I’ve always had terrible health anxiety and I was having some insurance issues, I just got married so the change over messed some things up so I didn’t go back for my follow up.
The twitching started in mid December and was only in my legs for what I can remember. A couple of weeks later it started all over my body. Legs, arms, hands, eyes, tongue, and face, butt, stomach, back, shoulders, neck. You name it, it’s twitched.
I’ve spent countless hours reading and freaking the hell out that it’s the big bad. It consumes me from time to time when the twitching gets bad. It’s so weird, it seems as though it happens in phases now. It will get really bad for a few days to a week and then calm down for a few days to a week and then repeat like a cycle. I wouldn’t say anything has gotten “worse”. I do feel like my muscles feel different. Not “weak”, definitely not clinically weak. I can walk on tippy toes and heals, I can pull myself up but I just feel like I get way more sore way quicker than ever before. Could be getting older and the weight of my body? Could be something more?
I used to be able to calm myself down by thinking it’s BFS but it seems most have a hot spot? Or only one area will twitch at once while for me it’s like my knee will twitch then half a second later my arm will and they will jump all over from place to place. Like I said I’ve mostly talked myself out of it being something serious by telling myself I have no clinical weakness, etc. but today I was watching my calves and they were just moving like crazy. Little pops here and there up and down my calf. Most of them I could feel but a majority I couldn’t. And seeing this has really really freaked me out. Since reading about *** more and more I’m back on being convinced it’s what it must be. Also, my hands feel weird a lot of the time, like my dexterity is off. I occasionally get tightness and cramping feeling in my calf, mostly my left.
Another odd symptom I’ve developed is eye floaters. Occasionally I think I’m having problems swallowing but only my saliva and I don’t know if that’s from me getting freaked out. I’ll also have a few days where my facial muscles are twitching like crazy and my jaw/teeth almost feel like they’re clattering?
If anyone took the time to read this, thank you and I’m sorry again for the long post just a fellow person freaking out and hoping a doctor will listen to them. I don’t really know what I’m hoping to gain from this post, maybe others who have had similar symptoms and a similar order of them. I don’t know.
I’m editing to add that I have been taking magnesium and vitamin d supplements for at least four months now. I started them back after these symptoms started and haven’t noticed a difference.

So this is a really tough one for me and it’s going to be a long post!
I’ve been friends with my flatmate for about 3 years now. We met because we lived in the same uni halls in first year and have been living together again for about 9 months now. In first year I noticed whenever he’d come into my room my blanket he’d sit on would reek when he left, and sometimes I noticed the smell on him outright. But we always did laundry together so I knew he washed his clothes and no one else said anything about the smell. He was freshly 18 too so had new freedom when it came to buying alcohol, and often would take it too far when drinking, but nothing too crazy for a first year.
We didn’t live together during second year so I didn’t notice any smells or bad hygiene habits, but it was then his drinking picked up a bit since he started working in a bar. Then towards the end of the year he got a job in a different pub, which is where his drinking has taken a turn for the worst. He drinks heavily nearly every day because after the pub shuts at half midnight, they all go out to bars and casinos to drink until they shut. He often doesn’t come home until 6 in the morning and then doesn’t get up until the afternoon when he goes to work again. On his days off, he goes to the pub he works at to drink. At home, he’ll crack open beers or ciders. I barely see him but when I do, he manages to bring up drinking and alcohol in every conversation. I’m so worried about his physical and mental health, but when I have tried to mention my concerns in the past he’s obviously been defensive and not listened at all.
I also can’t stand to physically be around him because of the way he smells. Like I said, there’s always been a smell around him but it’s at the point where I have to hide myself gagging when he comes into the room. Since living with him again, the only time he has ever used the washing machine is when I told him to wash the mattress protector before we left our last flat. He rarely showers either. His room is constantly a mess with the dirty plates and glasses, bin bags full of rubbish on the floor, and clothes covering the floor. He also has never helped with any of the housework which makes me really frustrated and angry. Before we left our last flat, which was owned by my other friend, he was going to leave his room stinking, unhoovered, and with dried sick on the floor and bed which was a breaking point for me. I bought more cleaning supplies and told him to get it cleaned by the next day.
All of my friends and my boyfriend have all commented on how much he smells and I feel like I can’t have anyone over because of how embarrassed I am about the smell. I try to cover it up in the hallway outside his room with air freshener balls and neutradol on the carpet but it persists.
My issue is that I don’t know how to approach him about these issues without offending him or upsetting him because at the end of the day he’s my friend but these issues and his lack of change have made me resent him somewhat. None of his other friends are concerned about his drinking or hygiene habits, in fact most of them encourage his downright alcoholic behaviour so I don’t feel I can turn to them for any help talking to him about it all. Any advice on how I can talk to him about all of this would be greatly appreciated!

(An animation shows black and white clouds parting)
Charles: (Off-screen) Once upon a time, there was a glowing city protected by golden gates known as Heaven. It was ruled by beings of pure light. Angels that worshipped good and shielded all from evil. Lucy was one of these angels. She was a dreamer with fantastical ideas for all of creation. But she was seen as a troublemaker by the elders of Heaven. For they felt her way of thinking was dangerous to the perder of their world. So she watched as the angels began to expand the universe in their ways. From the dust of Earth, they created Eve (I couldn't think of a female name that looked like Adam) and Lilian. Equals as the first of mankind, but despite this, Eve demanded control and Lilian refused to submit to her will. He fled the garden. Drawn in by his fierce independence, Lucy found him and the two rebellious dreamers fell deeply in love. Together, they wished to share the magic of free will with humanity, offering the fruit of knowledge to Eve's new groom, Adam, who gladly accepted. But this gift came with a curse. For the single act of disobedience, evil finally found its way into Earth. With it, a new realm of darkness and sin. And the order Heaven had worked to maintain was shattered. As punishment for their reckless act, Heaven cast Lucy and her love into the dark pit she had created, never allowing her to see the good that came from humanity, only the cruel and the wicked. Ashamed, Lucy lost her will to dream. But Lilian thrived, empowering demon-kind with his voice and his songs. And as the numbers of Hell grew, so did its power. Threatened by this, Heaven made a truly heartless decision. That every year, they would send down an army, an extermination to ensure Hell and its sinners could never rise against them. But Lilian's hope remained. And his dream was passed down to their precious son, the Prince of Hell. (The prince shuts the "Story Of Hell" book) (On-screen) Don't worry, Dad. I'll make you proud. (He holds a key)
Vagner: Charles?
Charles: Augh! (The key turns into a cat) Oh, shit. Did you hear all that?
Vagner: Uh... Yeah, I was right there.
Charles: Sorry. I get worked up after an extermination happens. This story helps.
Vagner: (chuckles) I know. Don't worry. I enjoy your theatrics. Are you okay?
Charles: I'm fine, just...Thinking, ya know, family stuff.
Vagner: Did you hear from your dad yet?
(Charles shakes his head saying no)
Vagner: Oof. How long has it been now?
Charles: Not that long, only...Seven...Years...Off something important, I'm sure. But this kingdom was something he really cared about. Something I care about.
Vagner: Well, at least you aren't alone.
Charles: I just hope what I'm trying to do here will work.
Vagner: It will. I have faith in you.
(The cat hopes on Charles)
Vagner: All right. Come on. Alice says she has something to show us.
(Vagner heads to the door and Charles look out of the window and see Hell on fire and goes)
(A commercial plays)
Alice: Well, hello there you wayward sinner. Do you like blood, violence and depravity of a sexual nature? Of course you do. That's why you're in Hell! But what would you say there was a place to stay that had none of that? Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, a misguided path to redemption! Founded five days ago by Lucy's delusional son Charleson Morningstar! Come place your fate in his inexperienced hands as he tries to work through his mommy issues by fixing you! Here, we offer fun thing! Such as somewhat functional staff! And 24 hour Pest Control! Custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlor! Enjoy riveting conversation with our singular resident. Wow! All this and more at the Hazbin Hotel! You last desperate attempt at salvation starts here.
(The tv suits off)
Alice: So, what'd ya' think?
Vagner: I'm sorry, what the fuck was that?!
Charles: Uh, yeah, one note...Alice, I mean...First off, thank you so much for making this, seriously, amazing, but um...Maybe the tone is a bit...Off? We want people to want to come here, this makes it look...Ummm...
Vagner: Bad. The word you're looking for is "bad".
Alice: Funny, I was going for hilarious!
Vagner: It didn't explain anything about how we're trying to save demons from extermination, which is the whole fucking point.
Charles: Vagner is right, Alice. The commercial was to let sinners know we are trying to help them.
Alice: Well, my dear, I haven't been active in Hell for some time, and everyone remembers me from my radio show! The proper medium to express oneself! But YOU insisted on this noisy picture box adversiment! So I had a little fun with it.
Vagner: Oh, fun? You had a little fun with it? (Stand on the sofa) Well, this is not what we want to represent us. When you showed up here a week ago, you told us you would help run the hotel! Instead, you're mocking us. Nobody's going to want to come to a place that a powerful overlord like you thinks is a waste of time!
(A demon on a sofa raises her hand)
Vagner: What?
Angela: If'n ya filmin' a commercial, can I suggest you take better advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here?
Vagner: Angela, you're a porn star.
Angela: A famous porn star. I'll have the horniest sinners knockin' these walls down to get in.
Vagner: We are not filming a porn as a commercial.
Angela: Why not? Sex sells, don't it? I swear if you film me goin' at it with mistress fancy-talk-creepy-voice here, you'd rollin' in participants willin' to stay at this tacky hotel.
Alice: Haha! Never going to happen!
Charles: Angela, I appreciate you wanting to use you special skills to, um, attract folks to the hotel, but...I really don't want to exploit you, in that way!
Angela: Oh, please, baby. This body was made to be exploited. I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs. I got the lung capacity-- Oh-oh I got the legs! The gag reflex, the holes...
(Charles laughs uncomfortably and his phone rings with his mom calling)
Angela: The small tits that make everyone think I'm a man...
Charles: Uhhh, hold that thought. I'll be right back! (Walks away)
Angela: I could keep goin' all night, baby.
(Charles breathes and answers the phone)
Charles: Hello? Mom?
Angela: Hey, I have a question. If freaky face over there is so powerful, then why can't she just make people stay here?
Alice: Oh, trust me, (ominously) I can!
Hisky: Why the hell do you think I'm here?
(The camera goes to Hisky at the bar)
Hisky: You actually think I'd be cleaning bottles and listening to you fuck's bitches moan all the time if she wasn't forcin' me?
Niffter: I like being forced!
Hisky: Keep that to yourself, Niff.
Angela: What, you don't like being here with me, Whiskers?
Hisky: Call me "Whiskers" again and I'll that bottle down your throat.
Angela: Kinky. But I like pussies. But keep talkin' dirty.
Vagner: Ugh, Angela, let Hisky do her job. And no, we can't force sinners to stay here. They need to choose to.
Angela: I'm choosing to be here, and I think is all stupid. We're in Hell, toots. It's kind of the end of the road, ain't it?
Vagner: Well, maybe it doesn't have to be. Just because nobody has made it before doesn't mean is not possible. (Angela pust her arm in his shoulder)
Angela: Hey, whatever means I can keep crashin' here rent free. Crack is expensive.
Charles: (excitedly) Yeah, I can! Totally. Yeah, I'll head over there right away...Okay. (Turns off the phone) Hah! YES! YES!! Hahahaha!! Vagner! Holy shit!
Vagner: Ahh! What?!
Charles: (through closed mouth) Get over here!
(Vagner sighs and goes to where Charles is)
Vagner: What's going on?
Charles: (Inhales) My mom just called. She said that the leader of the Angel Army wants to meet. She asked if I could go instead. (Breathes deeply)
Vagner: But... But...But the extermination just happened. What would they want this soon after...
Charles: (Singing) I can do this. Somehow, I know it I'll get Heaven behind my plan!
Vagner: Charles, hold on.
Charles: There's just no way I could blow it. Not this once a lifetime change!
Vagner: It's just a meeting.
Charles: To change their minds. And touch their hearts. Or whatever angels have.
Vagner: This could be bad.
Charles: Cheer up, Vagner. This could be swell. Something tells that today will be a happy day in Hell!
Vagner: Okay, but just don't... sing to them.
Angela: That motherfucker is halfway down the street.
Vagner: Is he...
Angela: Oh, he's dancin'.
Vagner: Ugh, no.
Charles: There's a warm fuzzy feeling that wafts through the air! Every street so revealing it's hard not to stare. It's a realm so appealing it beats anywhere! If you don't mind the smell! It's a happy day in Hell! Hi, miss!
Demon: Go fuck yourself!
Dead Sinner #1: There's a endless trash fire that's burnig my soul!
Charles: Hello!
Imp: There's a lot of barbed wire to shove in her holes!
Charles: Uh, excuse me...
Executioner: Doing what is required we all have a role!
Dead Sinner #2: I'm not doing well!
Ensemble: Another shitty day in Hell!
Charles: If I can show them the dream I've dreamed, that any soul can change!
Vagner: Those angels minds are hard to change!
Charles: Then they know that everyone can be redeemed from the evil to the strange!
Vagner: They're bloodthirsty and deranged!
Charles: I can hear all their stories, the lost and the displaced! And I know that they're of an acquired taste! But if I open the door and give them a place at my Hazbin Hotel it'll be a happy day in Hell! (Jumps in the back of a truck) From the porn studio where the cinephiles go to watch award winning demon bukkake shows to the Cannibal Town where they don't wear a frown 'cause...Holy shit, ew, my gosh, why?! And I don't give a crow that her brains got in my eye! Cause I know I can spare them from Heaven's genocide! I can do this...
Dead Sinner #1: There's an endless trash fire...
Charles: I just know it! Dead Sinner #1: That's burning my soul!
Chorus: Ahhhhhhhhhh!
Charles: I'll get Heaven behind my plans! There's just no way I could blow it!
Demon Sinner #3: I kinda like the barbed wire that's shoved in my hole!
Charles: Not this once in a lifetime chance! To change their minds!
Trenchcoat Demon: And touch my parts!
Charles: Oh...No, thank you. I'm just gonna...Fullfill my destiny!
Trenchcoat Demon: Your loss fucker!
Charles: I can already tell! Today is gonna be a fucking happy day in Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell! (Charles enters at the lobby) Hello? (echoes) Hello? Creepy...(He goes to the reception, rings the bell in the table and a paper and a feather pen appear in front of him) Oh, okay! Also creepy. (Signs the paper)
(Elevator doors open, Charles goes to them and enters in a dark room)
Charles: Hello? Is anyone here?
(The lights turn on)
Eve: 'Sup?
Charles: Holy shit! (Falls in the floor and gets up) Hi, I'm Charles. My mom asked if I could meet you.
Eve: Yeah, I know.
Charles: Okay, well, it's nice to meet you. (Stands his hand)
Eve: Totally. Nice to meet you, too. (Stands her hand)
(Charles hand passes through Eve's hand)
Charles: Ahh!
Eve: Ha! I fucking got you! Did you fuckin' see that?
(Luther shaves his head in yes)
Eve: Good shit!
Charles: Uh, so wait, you aren't here?
Eve: No, you think I'd come down there? (Laughs) No. I mean, I love the vibe, totally, I love your tunes. Pretty fuckin' hardcore, don't get me wrong. But, it's such a bummer, man. Everything down there's just so "eugh" ya know? (Chuckles) Ew.
Charles: Right. So I'm happy we got this opportunity to meet. There's a project I've been working on that I really want to talk to you about...(Eve puts her finger in his mouth)
Eve: Hey, hey, hey, slow down. We got time. How about we get to know each other, mm? How about some lunch? You hungry? I got you! (Shows a plate with ribs) Here's my personal favourite. You'll love it.
Charles: Uh, thanks! (His arms passes through the plate of ribs)
Eve: (Laughing) I got you again, fucker! Haha fuckin' hilarious! Haha!
(Back at the Hazbin Hotel, everyone is at the lobby)
Vagner: Okay, so Charles is dealing with something very important, so while he's gone, we are making a new commercial. One that representants his vision and what we're doing here. So we need a camera. Alice?
(Alice snaps her fingers and an old camera appears in Vagner's hand)
Vagner: A video camera.
Alice: Hmmm. (Snaps her fingers)
(A video camera appears in Vagner's hand)
Vagner: All right, let's do this!
(Vagner films Angela sitting at the bar)
Vagner: And...Action!
Hisky: "Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, can I help you with anything?"
Angela: "I've been a bad girl. And I need a big strong mommy to put me in my place...On the path to redemption!"
Hisky: Ugh! "Well, you come..."
Angela: "Oh yes!"
Hisky: (boredly) "To the right place!"
Vagner: Cut! Okay, Angela, I need you to be less horny, if possible. And Hisky, can you maybe not have a script in front of your face?
Hisky: (Angrily) I ain't no actress, I can't memorize this shit!
Angela: Well, we could improve this shit, baby cakes! (Purrs seductively and Hisky push her out of the counter) Ahh!
Hisky: Whoops. (Drink a bottle)
Vagner: Hisky, come on!
(Meanwhile, Charles is bored)
Eve: So I was playing this gig, and for some fucking reason this virtue boy was digging on the drummer, and it's like, do you know who I am? I'm fucking Eve. I'm the original pussy! All pussies descend from me. You think you like a drummer pussy? No way, I'm the Pussy-fucking master! (Eats sloppily) So anyway, then we fucked, and it was awesome. What'd you do this weekend?
Charles: Wait, your name is Eve? Like the first woman? That means you...Ohhh...(Enlightened) That explains so much.
Eve: I know. I fucking rock.
Charles: Well, Eve, ma'am. Mrs. Eve, ma'am.
Eve: Call me Pussymaster.
Charles: Eve, you seem like a smart...well, stand up girl.
Eve: (With the finger in her teeth) Uh-huh.
Charles: And I know you are the leader of the angels. And you are a bigger revolutionary, a...A genius!
Eve: I maen, your words, babe.
Charles: Who would really her name on something.
Eve: Fucking love putting my name on shit! Shit's the best!
Charles: It's a solution to our biggest problem!
Eve: Oh, herpes. Yeah, that's a bitch.
Charles: No! Our other biggest problem.
Eve: Oh, uh...Ugly people? (Looks at the camera) Math? Global warming? Nah, wait that's Earth's problem. Umm...
(At the hotel, a bug walks in the floor and a needle tries to stab it saverel times)
Niffter: Hehehe. Stab. Stab. Stab.
Vagner: Alright Niffter. Niffter? Niffter! (Stops him) Your line is "We have the cleanest rooms". Okay?
Niffter: Got it. I'm ready.
Vagner: (Turns on the camera) Action!
(Niffter looks at the camera with his pupil constricted and Angela and Vagner look at him confused and he keeps staring weirdly)
Vagner: Uhh...Cut. (Turns off the camera)
(Niffter smiles again)
Niffter: (Giggles) How was that?
Vagner: Well, Niffter, you actually have to say the line. So let's roll again.
Niffter: Okay!
Vagner: Action. (Turns on the camera)
(Niffter stares deeply at the camera)
Angela: You're doing great, Vagina!
Vagner: Cut! Alright, um, maybe wr can try to fix it in the post.
Angela: Do you even know what that means?
Vagner: (Angrily) I'll figure it out!
(In the lobby, Vagner is watching the video with the camera connected to the tv)
Hisky: (On TV) Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel.
(Vagner groans, covers his eyes and Alice appears in his side)
Alice: Seems like you're having a bit of trouble there, hm?
Vagner: Ugh, esta pendeja...Why are you even here?
Alice: For the entertainment! I came here because I love seeing wasteful souls struggle to accomplish something meaningful and fail spectacularly. Like you are doing now! Good job!
Vagner: (Turns on the camera) And here is Alice, the egocentric piece of shit that...
(Alice gets static on the camera and it starts to spark and Vagner screams and knocks the camera down)
Alice: I wouldn't try that, my darling. (Sinisterly) This face was made for radio.
Vagner: (Gets angry) That's it! I don't care who or what you are! If you are staying here you are going to make this work! Beause it won't be so "entertaining" to watch an empty hotel will it, shit ass?! (Turns around and walks away)
Alice: Fair enough. I'll tell you what. Let's make a deal.
Vagner: Pft! You think I'm that stupid? Making a deal with a demon like you.
Alice: Not for your soul, just a simple deal. I do this for you, and you never ask me to engage with this frivolous television technology ever again. Or...Charles can come back to absolutely nothing! Your choice.
Vagner: (Sighs) Fine. (Gets the video camera and raises in Alice's hand and green ghosted skulls fly around it)
Alice: Now then! (Makes the camera disappear and snaps her fingers)
(Angela, Hisky and Niffter, a lot of filming materials and a ghost recording team appear in the lobby and everyone gets tailor clothes)
Vagner: Alright, everyone! Let's make a fucking commercial.
(Meanwhile)
Eve:...When you take him out for the fifth time and he still expects you to pay the check, but you're like, (In deep voice) "Hey I thought you wanted equality"!
Charles: (Frustrated) No! Our shared problem of overpopulation in Hell!
Eve: (Normal) Oh! Well, that's not a problem! We got that covered! Luther, how many demons did you kill this year?
Luther: Got a good 275 this year, ma'am.
Eve: 275? Whoa, badass! Awesome job, danger dick! Pound it. (Punch fists with Luther)
Charles: Uh, no, not awesome. Those are my people, you know that, right?
Eve: Ohhh, yeah...That must suck for you. Pft...Hahahaha! Charles: But these are souls. Human souls, just the same as the ones you have in Heaven.
Luther: They're not the same. They had their chance and they earned damnation.
Charles: You're wrong. Sinners made mistakes, sure, but everyone makes mistakes.
Luther: Angels don't make mistakes.
Charles: You really think that?
Luther: I know that.
Eve: Yeah, I've never made a mistake in my fucking life.
Luther: The only reason you're still here is because Mommy gave you and your Hellborn-kind a pardon from an exorcist blade. How does that feel? To know how little you matter.
(Charles shrinks back)
Eve: Oops, almost out of time. Guess we should get into it...
Charles: Oh! Fuck!...(Get up from the chair) Okay. I've a lot to get through and not a lot of time and I feel like you weren't really hearing before, so here goes. (Clears throat) (Singing) I know Hell's population is out of control. It's a bad situation, it's taking a toll. If we rehabe these sinners and cleanse all their souls at my Hazbin Hotel! (Normal) Wait I'm getting ahead of myself! Right! Extermination! (Singing) I know you guys fly down just to kill once a year. And it must be annoying to schlep all the way here. If they join you in Heaven that trip disappears! You can wave that chore farewell! (Deep breath) It'll be a happy day in...
Eve: (Singing) Let me stop you right there, save us all precious time!
Charles: (Normal) Okay?
Eve: If what you're suggesting is letting them climb! Up the ladder. Oh they rather cross the Pearly Gates? Sorry, sweetie, but there's no defying in their fates! 'Cause Hell is forever wheter you like it or not! Had their chance to behave better now they boil in a pot! 'Cause the rules are black and white there's no use in trying to fight it! They're burning for their lives until we kill them again!
Charles: Okay, but...
Eve: Just try to chillax, babe, you're wasting your breath!
Charles: (Nervously) Hehe...
Eve: Did I hear you imply that they deserve death? Are they winners? Are they sinners? 'Cause it's cut and dry!
Charles: Actually, if you take a look...
Eve: Fair is fair, an eye for an eye! And when all's said and done! (Said and done) There's the question of fun! (Fun) And for those of us with divine ordainment, extermination is entertainment! (Imitates guitar) Guitar solo, fuck yeah! (Imitates guitar) Hell is forever whether you like or not! Had their chance to behave better now they boil in a pot!
Charles: Where all these people come from?
Eve: 'Cause the rules are black and white, there's no use in trying to fight it! They're burning for their lives until we kill them again! (materializes a guitar and play it) Fucking Hell is forever and it's meant to suck a lot! So give up your dumb endeavor 'cause you don't have a shot!
(Charles groans, his paper gets on fire and his hair moves in the air and horns appear in his head)
Eve: Long as I've got your attention, I guess In should probably mention that we made a determination (Shows a contract) To move up the next extermination!
Charles: What?!
Eve: Can't wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts! (Holds Charles' wrist) I know is just been a week, but we'll be back in six months! (Spins Charles out of the room and plays her guitar)
Charles: Um, wait, didn't you...(Goes at the door, but it closes) Awh, shit! (Punches the door)
(Charles returns sad to the Hazbin Hotel)
Vagner: Charles! (Hugs him) How did it go? Did they listen?
Charles: Oh, uh...They sure did...hear it! But, um...
Vagner: Oh! Come here. We have something exciting to show you! (Holds Charles to the living room) Alice pulled some strings, and it's about to air.
Alice: I pulled a few limbs too! Hahaha!
Charles: Wait? The commercial? You all made a new one?
Angela: Yeah, one of my better performances, if I do can say so myself.
Charles: That's...That's amazing.
Angela: Shh! It's starting!
Vagner: (On TV) Welcome to the Hazbin Hot...
(The TV changes to the 666 News channel and everyone complains)
Kallie: (On TV) Breaking news in Hell today! We have just received word from the Heaven Embassy that the next extermination is happening sooner than ever before! Do you know what that means, Tomita?
Tomita: No. What does that means, Kallie?
Kallie: It means we are all royally fucked!
(The clock in an hourglass changes to 176 with everyone screaming)
Angela: Wait...What? Why?!
(A drone laser scans a headless body of an angel laying in Hell and Eve and Luther see then from the ship)
Luther: We found the body, ma'am. They've never managed to kill one of us before. We should just go down there now and destroy them!
Eve: No, no. We can't risk them catching on. But don't worry, when we come back, there won't be a demon left to pull a stunt like this again. (Breaks the projector and her eyes and mouth glow in the dark)
(The end credits start playing)

I have two reddit accounts, so if these stories are familiar, that's why. Someone commented that one of these sounds like abuse from my Christian parent to me. So I've compiled all most of them here. (Most of them are to do with Christianity, the hypocrisy of Christianity, or the consequences of my choice to leave it.) Please be honest but also recognize that this isn't all the times sometimes these are amazing people and I love these people but for my sake I need to know if it's really that bad.
"I'm rather young. My mom (42F) and my dad (41M) both grew up in the church. My grandfather is the pastor of his own church and my mother was raised by her grandmother who played piano in the church. Growing up I'd say I was the perfect little Christian girl. I liked praying and went to church, I wanted to help the world, and I wanted to be baptized before I even started kindergarten. I remember that vividly. I was sitting in the kitchen in one of our folding chairs because we couldn't afford real ones and I was begging my mom to let me get baptized.
My family and I are African American. The church I went to when I was little was a black church. My mother was the praise dance choreographer so of course I did praise dancing. I'd go to Sunday school, I wore the big puffy dresses, and I knew all the songs. Of course I had the common experience of being assaulted in a sexual manor by someone I went to church with. But we were both the same age and I just knew I was uncomfortable and she just knew that's how people bigger than us touched each other. All that came of me telling my mom and me not having to go to her house anymore. I was always told that I was intelligent and I believed everything I was told without question. Then my sister was born and we moved. At first everything stayed the same. We ended up having to switch churches as the previous one was an hour away from our new home. We found a new church. A church were you can wear your hoodie and jeans like it's a Tuesday. I made friends and played sports and nothing really changed until I was eight. When I was eight there was a girl on my softball team I'll call E. E is Jewish and at the time I thought everyone was Christian. As in Christianity was the default and only option. But my friend E's church wasn't called a church but a synagogue, and she couldn't eat specific foods together. E also talked about BaBat Mitzvah's. When I brought that up to my mom she said my friend was Jewish and that being Jewish is like being Christian but they read from the old testament exclusively but they don't believe in Jesus.
Which a while later caused me to spend all night crying because I put the two and two together of: Believing in resurrection Sunday and that Jesus was gods son is what got us into heaven and I cried worrying one of my closest, sweetest friend and her nice family would go to hell. Then school, which had always been easy, became hard. Which made me feel dumb. Especially since my self worth was put into how smart I was and I wouldn't dare get below an A or high B because I was scared I'd get punished. Like the time I slammed my fingers a metal door on accident and spent the next fifteen minutes in tears and my mom told me if I kept crying she'd take me to the hospital to have them cut off my fingers. Because of moments like that disappointing my parent or having to big of an emotional reaction was not okay and it made me scared and uncomfortable. They knew I was struggling, they were the ones who stayed up till four something in the morning with me trying to explain the concept. But with every minor and major struggle I felt like my worth was slipping away. But the better I did in school the more my outstanding grades became the expectation which resulted in acknowledgement for my academic achievements disappearing. I felt like I was falling apart so I'd spend hours pray and begging god for help. To take the feeling of being worthless away. I developed an eating disorder sometime before ten. Specifically binge eating. My parents would find the trash, not understand that it was more than just "the sin of gluttony" and yell which made me feel threatened and eat more food.
And then I'd pray on my knees on the hard wood outside my room door with nails and splinters in it and hurt myself because not only was I a dumb glutton but I also apparently wasn't good enough for god to save or help. It made me think if he wants a relationship with me so bad why does he ignore me? I'd hold a knife to my wrist when I'd wash dishes to see if I felt him then. I questions if I'd even go to heaven. For all my problems the answer was to pray but the problem was I'm doing that but my prayers aren't being answered. I was having thought of death no twelve year old should have. On my birthday I was like a puppet simply going through the motions. Then I started questioning my sexuality. Not to mention, I'm now cut off from the world because this is all during covid, on the bright side they gave me my door back. Now I'm older and I have questions like. How was Adam able to name all the animals and understand god not wanting him to eat from the tree and their need to stay in the garden, but not comprehend his nakedness? How was Eve able to be tempted and not understand her nakedness? Why did they and apparently god think being naked was wrong? How are we not all messed up from tons of inbreeding and how do animals still exist after the inbreeding the would've occurred after Noah's ark if he only saved one male and female of each species? Why did god want to flood the Earth and purge it of it's evil humans if he was the one who decided free will would be a good idea? Since he is perfect and all knowing their shouldn't have been a moment of let me make something I'll destroy, wait nvm. My parents have changed a lot since I was little and have let me go to therapy. Of course I have a Christian therapist. Which I wouldn't mind if it wasn't for the fact that every time I bring up trauma that's linked to religion or need advice in terms of how to change a bad behavior or over come anxiety the advice is to pray. And at times I feel like I'm in a moment of doubt she feel she should try and pull me back in. But they also said I have to volunteer in the childern ministry at church.
I used to work with children ages three to five. Now I'm in one to three. And it feels like I'm spreading propaganda. They tell me what to say and what the goal is for the kids to believe by the end of the month. After I can't help but feel dirty. I'm at the point in my journey were I don't believe. But I have to keep working in the childern ministry, I have to go to church every Sunday, my parents are both devotional authors with published books. I'm the only one in my family who doesn't believe both extended and intermediate. I just wanna know I'm not crazy. I feel like I'm being brainwashed or something. Like drink the blood and eat the body of Jesus!? It's all too much. And now that my parents know they're trying to make me go back to believing. And I listen to them talk and it's like I can't have a conversations with you. You put your faith above all else. You believe whole heartedly, my point of view is automatically wrong to you because faith trumps logic so why would I share it with you? But at the same time it's majority of the music they play, it's all their advice, I go every Sunday, my classmates and friends are majority Christian and yet I even though I see the flaws and hypocrisy, I still can't help but wonder, am I the crazy one?"
"My grandma would grab me and call me "big booty Judy." And my butt was grabbed, spanked, and frequently talked about. Sometimes she'd just sit there tapping it while she talked. It started when I was around three or four and just continued. Though now I'm in my teens and rarely see her. But my breast were also a topic for a while. Comments like "where'd you get those from?", "she's bigger than you.", and "her sisters the tall one but she's the curvy one." They felt icky but I didn't dwell on them. But she's also an alcoholic along with many other things. She dated my mom's friends when she was in college, gets shit faced in at events like birthdays and funerals. Shakes her ass on family members and frequently offered us alcohol. But I always took pride in being her favorite grandchild. Which she constantly reminded me I was. She also has a serious spending problem. But the funny thing is. She goes to a church church. She's in the choir and used frequently as a look example. She hosts church events and potlucks. She even remarried in the church. Never mind the things I just said that'd be considered sins. She's the perfect Christian woman."
"How do you cope with the level of disrespect? I'm not eighteen yet, but I'm still able to be disrespected. My main problem is the disrespect from my parents. My parents who wish to be respected in their beliefs and don't want their minds to change. But at the same time, my dad has sent my scriptures and stuff for the past couple of months since it came out. I don't believe in God or Jesus. They force me to serve and volunteer at church and attend every Sunday. They paired me with a not so ethical Christian therapist. Then both gang up on me about it and take my silence as defeat when I'm just respecting their beliefs. I'm literally the only non Christian in my family. I also have mental problems from staying with them and just in general, but they won't test me because I don't behave in such a stereotypical manner. I want to say they love me, but does someone who blatantly disrespects you love you? I'm having a hard time with seeing if I should do something as drastic as no contact after I reach a certain age.
But at the same time their those awful parents who don't just blatantly suck but also have messed me up quite a bit, resulting in me not feeling like I have a right to be upset. I've told them about how Christianity mixed with their parenting drove me to suicidal thoughts, almost going through with it, and an eating disorder I'm still battling. I also can't just leave and close the door behind me. I'm the oldest, and their are two more kids just like me, and if I turned my back on them, I'd never forgive myself. They're my siblings, but they're also what stopped me from going through with the bad thoughts I was having. They need someone who will be honest, say the weird things, and answer the ignored questions. So, how can I deal with the blatant disrespect so that I'm around for them? What skill for stress management can I use? How do I block out the constant religious gaslighting that happens in church? Because I have over two more years of this."
"My dad said if people don't wanna have a baby, they shouldn't have sex even if they're married. But sir, you had three babies while financially unstable because you couldn't keep your damn hands off my mom. You were planning me, but your job fell through, and when my mom went to get back on birth control, it was too late, so I'll give you a pass with me. But my siblings were both surprises. So, quit judging and practice what you preach. But that's not what pissed me off the most. He said women will put all their time into work and not their husbands, and that's why some men cheat, but the way he said it, it was like he was justifying it. But my dad, he'd go to hooters alone, and when I needed tights, he got them from a woman their and it made me think what if. And I know it's stupid, but that what if. It is so loud.
And it's not even the first time he's said something along the lines of justifying it and almost blaming the woman who gets cheated on. But then he likes to be all up in arms about how his friend married a woman who cheated on him multiple times. My dad's like, I wanna pour into my kids but then makes no effort, and when we spent time with him, we had to initiate it. He doesn't do the hey you wanna . . . stuff. But he has his own company, and they can't get any work right now, so he spends most of his time at home. And then says I'm just to tired to spend time with ya'll.
My mom was sick to the point of being half passed out in a drive-thru after taking my brother to karate and having to pick up dinner. I would've offered to drive him if I could. I'm still leaning, and I'm bad at staying in one lane. But my dad was really busy on his PS5 with his made-up football team. So busy he couldn't take my brother to karate nor could he pause his game to get dinner. I'm kinda starting to hate him. He's also done a couple of other things, but that's what recently has made me mad. But I don't feel like I have a right to be mad because he's here and a lot of my friends dad aren't, and he's not physically abusive like my best friends dad is. I just don't know how I should feel. Is everyone's dad like this?
Edit: It's mothers day and he couldn't be bothered to get the food, pick up the groceries, nothing. #1Dad guys."
​
So is it truly a horrible go no contact at eighteen situation, a be watchful situation, or is it fine? I know some of this stuff is a lot but some of it was also in a moment of extreme emotion. Remember like I said in the beginning they're not always like this.

I have two reddit accounts, so if these stories are familiar, that's why. Someone commented that one of these sounds like abuse from my Christian parent to me. So I've compiled all most of them here. (Most of them are to do with Christianity, the hypocrisy of Christianity, or the consequences of my choice to leave it.) Please be honest but also recognize that this isn't all the times sometimes these are amazing people and I love these people but for my sake I need to know if it's really that bad.
"I'm rather young. My mom (42F) and my dad (41M) both grew up in the church. My grandfather is the pastor of his own church and my mother was raised by her grandmother who played piano in the church. Growing up I'd say I was the perfect little Christian girl. I liked praying and went to church, I wanted to help the world, and I wanted to be baptized before I even started kindergarten. I remember that vividly. I was sitting in the kitchen in one of our folding chairs because we couldn't afford real ones and I was begging my mom to let me get baptized.
My family and I are African American. The church I went to when I was little was a black church. My mother was the praise dance choreographer so of course I did praise dancing. I'd go to Sunday school, I wore the big puffy dresses, and I knew all the songs. Of course I had the common experience of being assaulted in a sexual manor by someone I went to church with. But we were both the same age and I just knew I was uncomfortable and she just knew that's how people bigger than us touched each other. All that came of me telling my mom and me not having to go to her house anymore. I was always told that I was intelligent and I believed everything I was told without question. Then my sister was born and we moved. At first everything stayed the same. We ended up having to switch churches as the previous one was an hour away from our new home. We found a new church. A church were you can wear your hoodie and jeans like it's a Tuesday. I made friends and played sports and nothing really changed until I was eight. When I was eight there was a girl on my softball team I'll call E. E is Jewish and at the time I thought everyone was Christian. As in Christianity was the default and only option. But my friend E's church wasn't called a church but a synagogue, and she couldn't eat specific foods together. E also talked about BaBat Mitzvah's. When I brought that up to my mom she said my friend was Jewish and that being Jewish is like being Christian but they read from the old testament exclusively but they don't believe in Jesus.
Which a while later caused me to spend all night crying because I put the two and two together of: Believing in resurrection Sunday and that Jesus was gods son is what got us into heaven and I cried worrying one of my closest, sweetest friend and her nice family would go to hell. Then school, which had always been easy, became hard. Which made me feel dumb. Especially since my self worth was put into how smart I was and I wouldn't dare get below an A or high B because I was scared I'd get punished. Like the time I slammed my fingers a metal door on accident and spent the next fifteen minutes in tears and my mom told me if I kept crying she'd take me to the hospital to have them cut off my fingers. Because of moments like that disappointing my parent or having to big of an emotional reaction was not okay and it made me scared and uncomfortable. They knew I was struggling, they were the ones who stayed up till four something in the morning with me trying to explain the concept. But with every minor and major struggle I felt like my worth was slipping away. But the better I did in school the more my outstanding grades became the expectation which resulted in acknowledgement for my academic achievements disappearing. I felt like I was falling apart so I'd spend hours pray and begging god for help. To take the feeling of being worthless away. I developed an eating disorder sometime before ten. Specifically binge eating. My parents would find the trash, not understand that it was more than just "the sin of gluttony" and yell which made me feel threatened and eat more food.
And then I'd pray on my knees on the hard wood outside my room door with nails and splinters in it and hurt myself because not only was I a dumb glutton but I also apparently wasn't good enough for god to save or help. It made me think if he wants a relationship with me so bad why does he ignore me? I'd hold a knife to my wrist when I'd wash dishes to see if I felt him then. I questions if I'd even go to heaven. For all my problems the answer was to pray but the problem was I'm doing that but my prayers aren't being answered. I was having thought of death no twelve year old should have. On my birthday I was like a puppet simply going through the motions. Then I started questioning my sexuality. Not to mention, I'm now cut off from the world because this is all during covid, on the bright side they gave me my door back. Now I'm older and I have questions like. How was Adam able to name all the animals and understand god not wanting him to eat from the tree and their need to stay in the garden, but not comprehend his nakedness? How was Eve able to be tempted and not understand her nakedness? Why did they and apparently god think being naked was wrong? How are we not all messed up from tons of inbreeding and how do animals still exist after the inbreeding the would've occurred after Noah's ark if he only saved one male and female of each species? Why did god want to flood the Earth and purge it of it's evil humans if he was the one who decided free will would be a good idea? Since he is perfect and all knowing their shouldn't have been a moment of let me make something I'll destroy, wait nvm. My parents have changed a lot since I was little and have let me go to therapy. Of course I have a Christian therapist. Which I wouldn't mind if it wasn't for the fact that every time I bring up trauma that's linked to religion or need advice in terms of how to change a bad behavior or over come anxiety the advice is to pray. And at times I feel like I'm in a moment of doubt she feel she should try and pull me back in. But they also said I have to volunteer in the childern ministry at church.
I used to work with children ages three to five. Now I'm in one to three. And it feels like I'm spreading propaganda. They tell me what to say and what the goal is for the kids to believe by the end of the month. After I can't help but feel dirty. I'm at the point in my journey were I don't believe. But I have to keep working in the childern ministry, I have to go to church every Sunday, my parents are both devotional authors with published books. I'm the only one in my family who doesn't believe both extended and intermediate. I just wanna know I'm not crazy. I feel like I'm being brainwashed or something. Like drink the blood and eat the body of Jesus!? It's all too much. And now that my parents know they're trying to make me go back to believing. And I listen to them talk and it's like I can't have a conversations with you. You put your faith above all else. You believe whole heartedly, my point of view is automatically wrong to you because faith trumps logic so why would I share it with you? But at the same time it's majority of the music they play, it's all their advice, I go every Sunday, my classmates and friends are majority Christian and yet I even though I see the flaws and hypocrisy, I still can't help but wonder, am I the crazy one?"
"My grandma would grab me and call me "big booty Judy." And my butt was grabbed, spanked, and frequently talked about. Sometimes she'd just sit there tapping it while she talked. It started when I was around three or four and just continued. Though now I'm in my teens and rarely see her. But my breast were also a topic for a while. Comments like "where'd you get those from?", "she's bigger than you.", and "her sisters the tall one but she's the curvy one." They felt icky but I didn't dwell on them. But she's also an alcoholic along with many other things. She dated my mom's friends when she was in college, gets shit faced in at events like birthdays and funerals. Shakes her ass on family members and frequently offered us alcohol. But I always took pride in being her favorite grandchild. Which she constantly reminded me I was. She also has a serious spending problem. But the funny thing is. She goes to a church church. She's in the choir and used frequently as a look example. She hosts church events and potlucks. She even remarried in the church. Never mind the things I just said that'd be considered sins. She's the perfect Christian woman."
"How do you cope with the level of disrespect? I'm not eighteen yet, but I'm still able to be disrespected. My main problem is the disrespect from my parents. My parents who wish to be respected in their beliefs and don't want their minds to change. But at the same time, my dad has sent my scriptures and stuff for the past couple of months since it came out. I don't believe in God or Jesus. They force me to serve and volunteer at church and attend every Sunday. They paired me with a not so ethical Christian therapist. Then both gang up on me about it and take my silence as defeat when I'm just respecting their beliefs. I'm literally the only non Christian in my family. I also have mental problems from staying with them and just in general, but they won't test me because I don't behave in such a stereotypical manner. I want to say they love me, but does someone who blatantly disrespects you love you? I'm having a hard time with seeing if I should do something as drastic as no contact after I reach a certain age.
But at the same time their those awful parents who don't just blatantly suck but also have messed me up quite a bit, resulting in me not feeling like I have a right to be upset. I've told them about how Christianity mixed with their parenting drove me to suicidal thoughts, almost going through with it, and an eating disorder I'm still battling. I also can't just leave and close the door behind me. I'm the oldest, and their are two more kids just like me, and if I turned my back on them, I'd never forgive myself. They're my siblings, but they're also what stopped me from going through with the bad thoughts I was having. They need someone who will be honest, say the weird things, and answer the ignored questions. So, how can I deal with the blatant disrespect so that I'm around for them? What skill for stress management can I use? How do I block out the constant religious gaslighting that happens in church? Because I have over two more years of this."
"My dad said if people don't wanna have a baby, they shouldn't have sex even if they're married. But sir, you had three babies while financially unstable because you couldn't keep your damn hands off my mom. You were planning me, but your job fell through, and when my mom went to get back on birth control, it was too late, so I'll give you a pass with me. But my siblings were both surprises. So, quit judging and practice what you preach. But that's not what pissed me off the most. He said women will put all their time into work and not their husbands, and that's why some men cheat, but the way he said it, it was like he was justifying it. But my dad, he'd go to hooters alone, and when I needed tights, he got them from a woman their and it made me think what if. And I know it's stupid, but that what if. It is so loud.
And it's not even the first time he's said something along the lines of justifying it and almost blaming the woman who gets cheated on. But then he likes to be all up in arms about how his friend married a woman who cheated on him multiple times. My dad's like, I wanna pour into my kids but then makes no effort, and when we spent time with him, we had to initiate it. He doesn't do the hey you wanna . . . stuff. But he has his own company, and they can't get any work right now, so he spends most of his time at home. And then says I'm just to tired to spend time with ya'll.
My mom was sick to the point of being half passed out in a drive-thru after taking my brother to karate and having to pick up dinner. I would've offered to drive him if I could. I'm still leaning, and I'm bad at staying in one lane. But my dad was really busy on his PS5 with his made-up football team. So busy he couldn't take my brother to karate nor could he pause his game to get dinner. I'm kinda starting to hate him. He's also done a couple of other things, but that's what recently has made me mad. But I don't feel like I have a right to be mad because he's here and a lot of my friends dad aren't, and he's not physically abusive like my best friends dad is. I just don't know how I should feel. Is everyone's dad like this?
Edit: It's mothers day and he couldn't be bothered to get the food, pick up the groceries, nothing. #1Dad guys."
​
So is it truly a horrible go no contact at eighteen situation, a be watchful situation, or is it fine? I know some of this stuff is a lot but some of it was also in a moment of extreme emotion. Remember like I said in the beginning they're not always like this.

We started to chat again she then randomly said she wanted to have sex. After I responded to her comment. She then got mad and was like “don’t think this dirty talk will get u somewhere” I didn’t even wanted to have a sexual conversation but just a good conversation in general???
I literally don’t understand why she got mad. Also how can u text me such sexual things and then get mad at me if I respond to it? Should I have said that I find her disgusting and would never want such things with her??? Like what was she expecting after sending that I honestly don’t understand.
She then on continued making audios were she’d say “maybe u feel rejected now but me saying that doesn’t mean I want u to come over”.
I just honestly think it’s the dumbest thing ever and I’m so over it. Jesus fcking Christ. Just kind of want ur opinion guys cos?? 😭😭😂😂

This is my first time posting to reddit but I hope some of you might be able to help me identify what I’m going through, because I genuinely don’t know what’s happening.
CW: eating disorders, depression, disassociation?
A little context: I’ve struggled with anorexia and bulimia for many years, but i’ve gotten a lot better over the past year. I genuinely didn’t have any thoughts regarding it until the past few weeks. Obviously relapsing is normal but this time it’s very different. Everytime I’ve struggled with this it’s been continuous and it went on for months or years on end, constantly thinking about it. But this time it’s like I’m going through very quick phases. For example, just until yesterday I went through multiple days of fasting and I cried for hours after eating a snack. But today I suddenly feel totally fine with eating and don’t feel a single negative thought about it. And this cycle has been going on for probably a month now. Like how can I go from counting every calorie and every step to totally not caring to counting every calorie again in the matter of days?
Paired with that, I go through depressive and disassociative episodes that last for about a week, in which I genuinely feel completely disconnected from everything around me and as if everything in my life, including me, was fake. Every noise sounds like a sound effect and every phrase anyone says to me sounds like a rehearsed line from a script that I’ve heard before. Kind of like a time-loop or Dejavú type thing. Again, about two days ago I called my friend and told her that I seriously don’t believe I’ll ever get rid of this feeling and that I’ll feel like this forever. Even on the call I told her that I don’t think I’m actually talking to her and that it’s all simulated. But today I felt like myself all of the sudden again and it’s like all of that never happened.
These things can even happen in the span of one day to the other, where one day I cannot even get out of bed and the next I could do 50 things all at once.
This is kinda long and I don’t expect anyone to even see this, but if you do and might have a clue on what this is… help? Thank you.

TLDR: it’s obvious that my friends boyfriend is hitting on me. She knows he makes me uncomfortable but is still dating him. Is it really all a joke and am I overreacting? Do I continue our friendship or not?
My best friend has been dating this guy for about 5/6 months and I’ve only met him a couple of times. There’s a few things he’s done that’s made me question his behaviour and I’m just trying to decipher if I’m overthinking things or if his behaviour is strange to anyone else.
Examples: A few months after they started going out, he followed me on instagram (my insta was public at the time and I couldn’t really have him unfollow me unless I blocked him and that also felt weird so I just left it). I hadn’t even met him in person at this point, never even had a conversation with the guy. I just found that quite odd. I told my friend about it but she didn’t seem to find it as strange as I did. I let it go because I thought maybe they talked about it beforehand.
The first time he met me in person, he asked me a few times if I had a man myself and what kind of relationship I’m looking for at this stage in my life. It felt really personal for a first meeting and I was a little spooked by how many times he brought up that same question in one night. But I tried to rationalise thinking maybe he wants to set me up with one of his mates or something. And again, my friend was present while this was happening and encouraged me to respond so I just didn’t know if I was overreacting.
This one is weird and his excuse does not seem believable to me. I got a dm from him on insta and it was a nude. He apologised when I replied with ‘wtf is wrong with you’ but his explanation seemed very odd to me. He said he was meant to send it to my friend but it’s just such a weak excuse to me. Like I know it happens, sometimes you send the wrong thing to the wrong person and it’s a complete accident. But why is he sending his gf nudes on dms when at this stage of dating it would normally be over messages? I told her about it and she wasn’t phased because she believed that it was an accident. I feel like I’m overreacting from how little it seems to bother her.
There is one more incident and it just really made me wonder why my friend is still with him. He, out loud in front of other people, said I was ‘bangable’. As you can imagine, after hearing that I told my friend he makes me uncomfortable and I don’t want to be around him anymore. I even said to her, if she had an ounce of self-respect she’d be dumping him now. But she is adamant he was just ‘joking around.’ I am so confused. Like what does this man have that’s making her stay because it’s certainly not his loyalty.
It’s not that I’m doubting he’s hitting on me and he wants something from me. It’s more that I’m so confused by my friend who doesn’t seem to care about what’s happening right in front of her eyes. And even more, she knows how uncomfortable he makes me and continues to keep a relationship with him. I did block him on Insta and private-ed my account after that.
Would you agree that it’s all a joke? Do I keep the friendship despite her staying with that guy? But then I feel like ending a friendship over a guy is also not good. Like I’m genuinely just so baffled by this. And they’re both so nonchalant about it that I feel like I’m crazy for even thinking it’s odd. What should I do?
I’m really struggling trying to find the words to describe how fucking weird this whole thing has been for me that I feel like anyone reading this probably thinks I’m illiterate but I swear it’s so hard to convey what’s going on in my head. If you want some clarification just let me know because I don’t blame you if you have questions. (There’s defo grammaspelling mistakes but it’s midnight so apologies but I’m sleep deprived).

So I'm 22 years old and disabled with high functioning autism and severe vision impairment to the point that I can barely see. My mom has been a good parent to me since I was born and since then she's also given birth to my younger brother (19) and my younger sister. (16) However, in recent years my mom has become seemingly more and more frustrated with taking care of us. I currently live with her and pay 25% of my income as rent, and in exchange she provides me with food and a place to live. I never really grew out of my "being a teenager" phase, I still feel internally like I'm in my late teens (17 to 19) and I'm many years behind when it comes to maturity. I've never been in a relationship, I don't go out with anyone, I don't know anyone and haven't had any real friends since middle school, I don't know how to cook, I'm super irresponsible and lazy, and if left on my own I would probably starve even if food was right in front me. Not to mention I can't drive and won't ever be able to due to my near-blindless. I'm extremely vulnerable and need a lot of support to get by, something my mom is no longer willing to provide me.
She's taken care of me for 22 years, and now she's saying stuff like she's "sick of being a parent" and "it's time for us kids to grow up and manage stuff on our own." That "she wants more free time" and is "tired of being our personal maid." Just today she said she's never cooking us a meal again, and if we want dinner we'll have to buy or make it ourselves. It's only a matter of time until she starts refusing to clean the house and it becomes a dump due to her three kids, including me, general incompetence and immaturity. When I brought up to my mom that I'm disabled and can't fend for myself, she got super defensive and was like "oh you have mentors" (who only show up twice a week for like an hour and we usually just end up going on a walk and talking and getting lunch) and "oh you have your brother" (who's arguably even more inmature and incompetent than me) and "oh you're getting too old now it's about time you grow up and learn to be an adult." Problem is I'M NOT READY to be an adult. I only made $12 an hour which isn't even close to enough to pay for rent and due to all my disabilities I had a bunch of close calls that eventually caused me to loose my job and it's been HELL trying to find a new one.
My mom manages all my finances, all my legal stuff, all my medical stuff, I have no access or knowledge of ANY of it and even if I did I wouldn't have to means to pay for anything. Rent is like 6k a month here and I don't come close to affording that. I can't move out. I would love to be able to do everything myself. Cook for myself, clean for myself, live in my own place, but that just isn't possible because I don't have any money and I'm not nearly responsible enough to do that. And with my mom becoming less and less involved and lashing out every time I bring up that I need her help, I'm worried that she'll just straight up abandon my relatively soon when she gets tired of my shinanigans of small things like leaving my cup out on the kitchen table or my bathroom smelling weird or wet towels being on the floor of my room and all the small things get to her and she kicks me out. She's already refusing to feed me and multiple nights I'm left there starving no knowing what to eat because Mom won't feed me and she does she making disgusting weird foods that she KNOWS I won't eat but makes it anyways and then gets mad at me when I respectfully decline to eat it.
My mom's tired of being "our personal maid" but I feel like it's her responsibility as a parent to take care of us, something which made my mom VERY mad as she stormed off in her car. She feels like there's "too much on her plate to manage" and I feel like she's jealous of all the free time us "kids" (not really) get to chill and play video games with friends and watch YouTube while she "works her butt off" to provide for us. But isn't that what being a parent is? Working your butt off to provide for us kids? It's not like when dad was here that her job was any harder. My dad was barely even involved in any work around the house or with finances, medical stuff, and school and was always either at his job breadwinning or watching american football on the couch while drinking tons of Coke Zero.
Now my mom is tired of being our mom and wants to live her own life seperate from us. She is sick of taking care of us and dealing with us and wants "a break", and lashes out when we're merely enjoying ourselves because she's jealous of the free time we get while she spends every day from 6:00 AM to 7:00 PM working either at her job or at home. I have desperately needed therapy for the past TWO YEARS getting close to game ending myself MULTIPLE TIMES due to lack of therepy and me having a mental breakdown, she just has "other priorities". What priorities? Priorities higher than my own mental health?
Not to mention the dog getting old and becoming VERY hard to deal with and no one taking my concerns about the dog seriously. I had to be out in the pouring rain for 18 minutes today trying to get the dog to go onto the grass to go potty, but she refuses until the SECOND my sister and brother arrive and she runs out to greet them and then goes pee immediately afterwards. At that point I'm on my phone under the roof of the porch like anyone would be after waiting for nearly 20 minutes for the stupid dog to go pee, and then my sister gets angry at ME for being "lazy and irresponsible" when I waited for 20 minutes in the freezing rain for my dog to go into the grass and go pee but she only ends up actually doing it once my brother and sister come. Our dog also CONSISTANTLY now pees on the sidewalk, ONLY poops in the neighbour's lawn, and refuses to walk any point past said yard. She's a complete handful and yet she doesn't act that way with ANYONE ELSE. It's like everyone hates me or something. Everyone always blames everything on me and I'm tired of it.
So, who's the AH? My mom who doesn't want to parent or provide for me or our siblings anymore because we're "too old?" Or me, a disabled 22yo who doesn't have any prospects of living on their own anytime soon (at least until eye cybernetics exist) and will LITERALLY STARVE if not provided with food?
Sorry if this is the wrong sub I just really needed to vent and I have no therapist so yay.

Title says it all, this post is a deep dive into the Sonic Adventure 2 OST, specifically all the songs pertaining to Knuckles. This is for a few reasons that I’ll get into in a moment, but from what I’ve seen Knuckles’ and Rouge’s soundtracks tend to get overlooked or written off by fans (More so Knuckles’) unfairly so in my opinion.
This post will serve, not only to analyze the music itself, but also Knuckles’ characterization, as you’ll see the two are basically intrinsically linked.
Just a quick disclaimer, I’m not a musician nor am I that musically inclined, this isn’t an expert’s opinion or analysis, just a listener’s thoughts.
A bit of background of me before we start, I grew up around hip hop when I was young so I can really appreciate Knuckles’ soundtrack probably more so than a lot of other people.
Ever since I was a kid, Knuckles has always been my favorite character, I always found his complicated friendship and rivalry with Sonic to me a much more interesting dichotomy than Sonic and Shadow (I know, fight me).
That and I’ve always just adored his character (Before they forgot how to write him) he can be hot headed and stubborn like Sonic, but he’s got a bit of a Yin and Yang thing going on, with his Chill nature conflicting with his Quick and Explosive temper, as well as his questioning of his purpose in life and duty to the Master Emerald.
Anyway, enough context on myself, let’s strap in and get to the meat of this veeeeeery long post (My bad guys).

BACKGROUND

So for starters, I think it’s best we talk about the style and influences that are quite evident in Knuckles’ Music, that being Hip Hop/Rap, but it goes a bit further than that.
For some historical context, Sonic Adventure 2 came out in 2001, I’m not sure how many hip hop fans hang around the subreddit but by 2001 the Golden Age of Hip Hop had been firmly left behind. Biggie and Pac had been dead for a while, and the stars of yesteryear began to fizzle out as the young blood cropped up onto the scene.
The early 2000s Hip Hop scene was mainly dominated by the East Coast and the Dirty South, lots of stars of this generation of rap included 50 Cent, Ja Rule, Outkast, Ludacris, The Game, Three 6 Mafia and Xzibit, but you also had older legends like Nas and Snoop Dogg who were still culturally relevant.
This modern sound of hip hop differed greatly in sound to the early 90s, everything was a lot more clean and refined, samples were still used but weren’t as common as before and the West Coast sound that characterized the early 90s had been long gone.
It’s important to bring this up, because comparing SA2’s Hip Hop tracks to the climate it was released in, they sound almost out of place. Listening to Get Rich or Die Trying, or Stillmatic and then listening to SA3’s tracks you’d be convinced they were separated by many years.
The Tracks in SA2 are definitely rooted in early 90s hip hop, it’s very clear that those early Gangsta Rap albums like Straight Outta Compton and Black Sunday greatly influenced this part of the soundtrack. And you don’t have to take my word for it, go and listen to the instrumentals of songs like Express Yourself or Insane in the Brain and tell me that they’d sound out of place playing in one of Knuckles’ Stages.
Early 90s Hip Hop makes heavy use of sampling, primarily of the work of Black Artists of the past two decades, because of SA2K’s early 90s hip hop influences, it too has a lot of roots in 70s/80s Black music. Elements of Soul, Funk and Jazz are commonly heard in Knuckles’ Stages, think James Brown or Isaac Hayes.
So what Groups or Artists seem to inspire SA2K’s sound? Well the obvious choice is NWA, though specifically Straight Outta Compton, Elif4zaggin has a much different sound. However I don’t believe that’s entirely the case.
Whether it’s pure coincidence or intentional, Too Short (stylized as Too $hort) was a decently popular artist from Oakland, which is up in the Bay Area of NorCal which is the main inspiration for most of SA2’s urban environments.
Anyway, Too Short was actually quite a pioneer in Hip Hop as he formed the Dangerous Crew, a Hip Hop Band who played actual instruments instead of using samples, it’s because of this that I believe Too Short and the Dangerous Crew to be the main inspiration of SA2K’s sound whether intentional or not, not only are the two defined by their funky beats, but also their use of live instruments. I recommend listening to songs like The Ghetto, Sample The Funk and Just Another Day to get an idea of how his music influences SA2K.

UNKNOWN FROM M.E. (REMIX)

Honestly I find this track to be an improvement over the original, it definitely leans a lot more into the R&B aspect over the rest of the soundtrack but it’s still distinctly hip hop with the record scratches, drums and Hunnid-P rapping over it.
Speaking of, let’s address the Elephant in the room briefly. I know Hunnid-P or Hunnid-Pacent isn’t everybody’s favorite person on this sub, either on the track or behind the scenes, and while his antics aren’t relevant to this post, I don’t necessarily agree that he’s as bad as people say he is on the mic. Is he the world’s greatest emcee? Absolutely not, but he does his job pretty well, he has good flow and a pretty good voice. I think people clown on his lyrics too much, I’m not saying he’s an Inspectah Deck level lyricist but I think the guy has dropped a few bombs and this OST has some gems, but we’ll get into this in a bit.
Getting back to the song, the content of the lyrics is basically Knuckles’ inner voice, this is basically the entire soundtrack, though Unknown From M.E. is more of a general character overview of Knuckles, its standard stuff now but at the time it was a pretty deep dive into the character of Knuckles’ in a decently subtle way.
Most of the song centers around Knuckles’ self imposed isolation on Angel Island, his duty to his people and the world to protect the Master Emerald, but also him yearning for something more and the inner conflict that stems from that.
This song actually has some underrated lines, some standout lyrics include:
“Clench my fists tight, become more redder - I don't wanna hurt her, my passion observed”
The last line is in obvious reference to Rouge and an interesting insight into Knuckles himself. He clearly doesn’t like violence and isn’t interested in hurting anybody, but his duty as a guardian and his quick temper often means he can get a bit too carried away as the line implies, good stuff.
“Been lonely all my life, does it matter? - Here for the mission, whoever want, it bring it”
Here we can clearly see Knuckles trying to reason with himself here, specifically after meeting Sonic and experiencing a life that isn’t just his duty. Here we see the Guardian side of him, he’s always been alone and it’s never been problem before, why should it be now? At least that’s what he tries to tell himself.
“Don't approve of him but gotta trust him - This alliance has a purpose - This partnership is only temporary”
I’ll get more into this when we get to Death Chamber, but these lines are obviously alluding to Sonic and the plot of the game. It’s clear that Knuckles still doesn’t completely like Sonic, however the key here is that he trusts him, he’s gotten to a point now where he knows Sonic is well meaning and their goals align. However, just like real people, he’s accepted the arrangement but he doesn’t have to like it, he still believes Sonic is brash, arrogant and takes far too many risks, it will take more than a few adventures for Knuckles to fully change his opinion on Sonic.
Hunnid-P and Marlon Saunders do a great job of bouncing off each other on this song, their voices and cadences clash with each other nicely almost like how Knuckles’ inner turmoil is split in two.
The beat is tantalizingly funky, for starters that bass line is smooth as butter and the song has a nice tempo, you get the occasional organ flourish and guitar riff that crescendo and just help to enhance the song even further. Overall a really solid track in my opinion, the content of the lyrics is interesting and the delivery is great, all over an extremely funky instrumental.

KICK THE ROCK - WILD CANYON

Probably my favorite song out of all Knuckles’ Stages, this one is definitely the most Jazzy and parallels nicely with Rouge, but has a distinctly Knuckles Twist.
That Sax and Organ combo just cause an absolute eargasm and those drums form such a nice tempo that makes this track such easy listening. Honestly there’s not a whole lot going on with this track and that is not a bad thing at all. Its simplicity is probably its biggest strength and is quite noticeable compared to something like Unknown From M.E.
Some Lyrics I found particularly interesting are:
“I'm feelin her in mysterious ways - That's why I stay on point like every single day - I gotta protect this place, I do it for my race”
Yeah yeah I know everybody finds this line and the play doh line inappropriate and funny, I understand the latter but honestly I could never get the outcry over this one
“I’m feelin her in mysterious ways” honestly, in my opinion, it’s not what you think. I’ve never really seen it as a sexual line “I’m feelin you” is basically another way of saying I get you, it’s basically Knuckles saying he gets Rouge, but he doesn’t know why and that kinda bothers him.
The context matters here and the lines after do give my interpretation some weight. It’s basically Knuckles saying to himself “I get this girl and I kinda mess with her, but I gotta job to do” Knuckles is intrigued by Rouge, he’s never met anybody like her and he obviously has some feeling towards her, though because of his lack of interaction with others he struggles to understand these feelings and instead of addressing them, he tries to ignore them and remain true to his job as Guardian
“Who could'a did this, that snitch named Rouge! - When I catch her, I'ma get her with these tools”
More obvious than the last one, but it still shows that Knuckles, despite his various different feelings toward Rouge, knows he has a job to do and tries to center himself to stay committed
Honestly it’s hard to choose between this or Unknown From M.E. as my favorite Knuckles track but either way its up there and definitely something I can bop to on the regular

A GHOST’S PUMPKIN SOUP - PUMPKIN HILL

The one everybody knows and honestly I get it, it’s got that smooth piano/guitar I can’t really tell what it is but it definitely slaps. It has that distinct G-Funk whistle which pops up occasionally across SA2K that simulates that stereotypically ghostly sound nicely
It’s definitely in contention with Deeper for the most lowkey Knuckles track and that’s saying something.
Not much content lyrically, but I managed to find a few interesting lines:
“I ain’t gonna let it get to me, I’m just gon creep - Down in Pumpkin Hill I gots to find my lost piece”
Something we don’t actually see a lot from Knuckles, fear! Most of this song is about Knuckles’ fearlessness being tested, if you view this as Knuckles’ internal monologue (Which if you don’t at this point then I’ve been doing something wrong 😂) its less about the song telling us how tough Knuckles is, but Knuckles reassuring himself that he can do this.
He’s obviously trepidatious over being in Pumpkin Hill and he has to take a moment to center himself and reassure himself that “I’m Knuckles, I’m not afraid of anything” again this goes back to how Knuckles uses his job as Guardian and his duty to motivate himself and push forward through situations, regardless of his own fear.
“I’m hearing someone saying “You a chicken, don’t be scared!” - It had to be the wind, cause nobody wasn’t there”
Considering the haunted theming of this level, this very clearly (on the surface) seems to be Knuckles encountering a ghost taunting him, but I might present another angle.
This is just Knuckles’ inner thoughts again, though this time its doubt, he doesn’t believe he can find the pieces of the Master Emerald and he doesn’t think he can make it through Pumpkin Hill, yet he pushes through anyway. This one’s kinda far fetched but it’s a nice idea
I don’t adore this track as much as a lot of other people (ironically) but I can still Jive with it.

DIVE INTO THE MELLOW - AQUATIC MINE

First of all, this track does a great job at just sounding watery, the filtered organ and the echoey bass just make it sound like cave ambience turned into music
Most of this track’s lyrics center around Knuckles’ yearning to be something more than just the Guardian of the Master Emerald and to be his own individual, these are:
“Makes you wanna sit back, enjoy the life - And do things you like doing, get to shine”
Knuckles, if it wasn’t for all the enemies and hazards, obviously enjoys being in Aquatic Mine, so much so that it brings his thoughts of a better life to the front of his mind.
This shows what Knuckles really wants, to be unburdened from the Master Emerald and to just be free to kick it wherever, in a way he’s jealous of the freedom Sonic has and wishes he wasn’t tied down to Angel Island.
“I stay Knuckled up, I’m in a deep cut”
Knuckles, despite his ideals of peace and relaxation is always ready to do what he believes is right, again this whole OST is basically Knuckles reconciling his wants and his duties.
Again Knuckles isn’t really equipped to deal with these feelings and instead of addressing them, he pushes them down and buries them under his duty and tries to keep himself busy, though once he gets to Aquatic Mine where he’s forced to slow down and explore methodically, he’s suddenly unable to distract himself from his true feelings.
“In a maze, and I don't know what to do Guaranteed though, imma find the Emeralds”
Again an obvious allusion to the labyrinthine Aquatic Mine on the surface, though I believe this too has a deeper meaning.
Knuckles is lost and confused emotionally, he’s confronted by these different feelings that conflict with everything he’s ever known. His thoughts on freedom and his feelings for Rouge which he doesn’t quite understand both conflict with his role as Guardian and he can’t reconcile them.
“I don’t know what to do” in a rare moment of vulnerability, Knuckles admits that he has no idea how to manage these feelings and he’s grappling with the monumental task of managing his panicked thoughts.
Then, just as you think Knuckles is gonna start making a breakthrough, what does he do? “Guaranteed though, imma find the Emeralds” That’s right, instead of finally addressing his swirling thoughts, he pushes them down and once again distracts himself with his duty.
Honestly, like Pumpkin Hill, I know it’s a reach but it tracks with what we know Knuckles’ character has been up to this point and it gives him insane depth and really humanizes him.
A funky beat, a nice flow from Hunnid P and some really humanizing characterization of Knuckles, Dive Into The Mellow is definitely a hidden gem of the OST.

DEEPER - DEATH CHAMBER

Sooooooo chill, honestly this song is so calm and smooth, it’s so underrated on this soundtrack it really is another hidden gem like Dive Into the Mellow.
First off I absolutely adore the bass this track has, it sounds like it’s been bit compressed for a Gameboy and honestly I’m all here for it, gives it a nice techno Eggmany twist. The funky guitar and sax just enhances the mood, the song sounds almost echoey like you’re actually standing in a Death Chamber.
Lyrically this song is unique in that it’s basically just a long conversation between Sonic and Knuckles instead of Knuckles’ inner thoughts/monologue.
It’s an interesting dynamic where Sonic is actually the reasonable one, willing to put aside his and Knuckles’ differences aside for the greater good. Knuckles however is initially a bit more standoffish, but Sonic talks him into it by appealing to his guardian nature and calling him out on his stubbornness, basically forcing Knuckles to admit that Sonic is right and that they’ll be much better off working together.
Honestly not much to say, it’s pretty much all spelled out in the song, but interesting nonetheless. An understated and uniquely funky beat make this track stand out among the others nicely, definitely a great listen.

SPACE TRIP STEPS - METEOR HERD

Finally, the last song. In my opinion, Space Trip Steps is probably the weakest track musically. That doesn’t make it bad, far from it, I just can’t groove with it as easily as the others
This song takes a lot more inspirations from G-Funk than the other tracks which does give it quite a unique sound amongst the soundtrack, it wouldn’t sound out of place on The Chronic or Regulate… G Funk Era. The wavy synths and sharp base with the fast tempo give it an almost garage feel too, definitely not a sound for everyone but I think it does a good job at sounding very ethereal and space like
As for lyrics, this seems to be a turning point for Knuckles as a loner:
“Took a shuttle to space and left from our homes At least we're with friends and I'm not all alone”
Knuckles is in a completely foreign environment and feels completely out of his depth, however he feels comforted by the fact that he’s surrounded by the people he’s finally started to call his Friends, the first time he’s admitted such.
He’s forced now to acknowledge that he can’t do everything by himself, and that asking for help from his friends doesn’t make him any less of a man, he finally accepts that he can trust outsiders, but he still has a ways to go.
“Bad thing was that the Emeralds spilled - Gotta search space, man, time to get ill”
Still, Knuckles is bound and almost blinded by his duty, forcing himself to abandon his friends to search for the Master Emerald pieces that were scattered in space.
It’s clear now that Knuckles isn’t too happy to leave his friends, but as we’ve come to know him, he does the typical Knuckles thing of pushing his feelings to the side in the face of doing what he believes is right. This just tells us Knuckles still has a lot to work on before he can really come to terms with who he is.
Again, a pretty unconventional track so it can be an awkward listen and definitely not my favorite on the list, but it does something unique which I can definitely give it props for, Hunnid P even has a completely different flow, dragging out his words like he’s getting further away, hammering home that space theme.

CONCLUSION

And that’s it, if you made it this far through my long winded ramblings, then I’m extremely impressed 😂 I tried to trim the fat as best I could but I ended up getting a bit too attached to most of what I wrote
Honestly I feel like these songs have been unfairly painted as the silly crappy Knuckles rap songs with bad lyrics that are only good because of their instrumentals, and I just can’t agree with that.
I feel like in a lot of ways these songs do a much better job of characterizing Knuckles than SA1 or SA2, I really wish we got see more of his inner turmoil and him butting heads with Sonic in the game itself.
I think it’s a sad thought that for a long time, Knuckles has been a shadow of his former self (Har har) and has just been relegated to the token meathead that’s about as one dimensional as a square. Frontiers is definitely a step in the right direction and I’m excited to see what the new writing team can cook up with for his character.
But what are your thoughts though? Do you agree? Disagree? Did I manage to change your mind or have you always felt this way? Maybe you have a different take or something else to add? I’d love to hear it.
ML

My parents-in-law found a dog on the side of the road 25+ days ago. They brought it to the shelter and the shelter let them keep the dog as unofficial foster parents. The shelter told them after 48 hours, if the original owners don’t claim the dog, the dog is theirs. This dog was under fed, paws were red and enflamed, ear clipped, dirty and covered in pee, and was abandoned. They checked the microchip and it was pinged for a way out of state owner.
Well 48 hours rolls around and there was no claim. Shelter posted a picture with the dog’s picture and it was up for almost a month on Facebook. This person apparently found the post a week ago, having lived in the area a short time, and the humane society lost my in laws contact info. Today, the shelter found the info and told my in laws the original owner wants their dog back. My in laws said no we are keeping the dog, it’s been almost a month. They took care of the dog and this dog has adjusted to my in laws and they love it. The shelter then sent a sheriff to my in laws house without telling them and the sheriff says that they need to give the dog back to the owners. The shelter also said that they are “a rock put in a hard place” with this situation since they never filed official paperwork handing the dog over to my in laws.
My in laws talked to a lawyer friend and the lawyer said that in the state of NY, an unclaimed animal can be adopted out or euthanized after 7 days of no claim from the original owners. This original owner was supposed to come pick up the dog today but they “have to go to work” so they’ll be coming to get them Sunday.
I guess my question here is, is there any way that my in laws can fight for this dog? They don’t want to offer money yet to see if giving the dog back will make the person realize that it was easier not having a dog. So after a couple weeks they want to reach back out and ask if they’d be willing to sell the dog. But regardless, is there anything my in laws have going for them? They are heartbroken over this.

I seem to have a type and that type is... the type who has no space/time for me. Let me explain.
About a year ago I decided I had done enough self improvement in my life to get back into the Poly world. During that year I met 3 amazing humans, 3 humans I was very excited to get to know.
I did all my normal checking for capability. Who are you, goals in life, what are you seeking/not seeking, comparing interests and of course, checking scheduling. All 3 seemed to be great matches.
We chatted every day, about everything. Our talks were always engaging and stimulating. But none of them wanted to actually get together. I offered dates of varying types that always got canceled. I tried simple hang outs like walks, grabbing a coffee, very low key meet ups. I even tried putting the ball in their court, and again nothing.
Human 1 talked with me about 6 months and we met up once. That meet up was about 2 weeks after meeting. When i would ask I was told simply "Life is hard right now". I tried to be patient as I could but after 6 months I broke things off.
Human 2 I only knew for about 4 months. Every invite was met with "scheduling issues." Other partners, family, etc was always the priority. I wanna be clear here, I understand in the early phases I shouldn't be, nor would I want to be, the highest priority. Again, that pattern seemed pretty clear I didn't have a space in their life, so i moved on.
Human 3 was the most unique. Human 3 was autistic, as am I, and my house kinda became their "safe space" Great! Except they would show up at 1 am when I was asleep, play video games, sleep till noon and then just... leave. I tried communicating that I had kids, and this behavior wasn't working for me. In the end, I had to walk away.
I guess my questions are this. Am I doing something wrong here? Maybe this is a me thing that somehow i didn't consider that leads to these behaviors? If its not a me thing, how can i better approach situations to avoid this pitfall a fourth time? How do you all confirm scheduling prior to entering relationships to assure that time needs are being met? Any and all input would be wonderful.