From Christopher Alvarez's article:
There are rumors that a hotel security guard was fired for letting me wait inside the hotel instead of leaving me out to freeze. I believe this is true, and I feel bad. I'm sorry to him and his family. Good people doing good things out of the kindness of their hearts should not be condemned, and The Mark Hotel should reassess who they put at the top of the chain. (The Brooklyn Eaglle has reached out to The Mark Hotell for comment and will update with their response.)
EbonyPrince2k24 kept telling us us to look into 7/27/23. I went and found this from the legal filing:
June 27, 2023: At approximately 8:30PM, the Defendant and three other males gathered across the street from the Hotel on 77th Street. They began to chant “The Mark has mice” and “The Mark helped Epstein”. The group then proceeded to approach the Restaurant guests seating on the terrace on 77th Street. Security Officer Andrew Dorn put himself between a protester and the guests. At the same time, the Defendant and the other male protesters began taunting Bellman Mr. Timothy Giannakoudis, who called the police. At 9:00PM, police arrived. The police first spoke with protestors. Seargent Joseph (2060) and Officer Simon (21701) then explained that despite the disturbance to our guests, this is a very grey area and there is nothing they can do. The police told the protestors that they are not allowed to stop at guests’ tables, however they are allowed on the sidewalk as long as they keep moving. The group began walking the sidewalks holding up signs and chanting. Security Officer Dorn told the police that the Plaintiff cannot have this while guests are dining. The police spoke to the group again and asked them to go across the street. All police left at approximately 9:10PM. The protestors went across the street, chanting. At 9:15PM, Bellman Giannakoudis removed his personal vehicle from the parking spot in front of the hotel and the protestors moved in front of his car, refusing to move. There was a short standoff with horn honking and one protester accusing Giannakoudis of hitting him, which was not witnessed by anyone. The Defendant’s Cadillac SUV then pulled in right behind Giannakoudis’ car. Giannakoudis said that the SUV hit his car and called the police back. Giannakoudis was asked to not interact with the protestors, and Front Office Manager Dawa took his post. At approximately 10:00PM the police came back and spoke to the group and Giannakoudis.
In the court filing, his name is Theodore Giannakoudis.
On his LinkedIn profile he is Timothy.
On Instagram he is Theo Harry
https://www.instagram.com/theo_harry1981
He has a hyperlink to this website on his profile:
http://greek.com/
An example of the dating sites it redirects to:
https://or4.jdirectj.com/clicklink.php?qry=9p7T4Lrt9515S23h28UUpg0t6vpmqYnH4pTUkefPWgN.uBO6StOEEAdEtB_bdlnEtYOqPKqvMhCOXnxJF.yVwIKdr.rrS7.0MmP5yZs7csUtDdoVQ_hlKtLP8sgiTjfPoFJRLihudsCTI5YRTQ9CVW4gHmEMgZ_bSHBRYMUKI.gQnEHcMruHHROWxlDzTLbuRGQVpwHrBsToLE1x4hb_VZwtBpwgvTPbo2ziZWkirn3dNVGl5SnxD8Bg1jU60ZmI1ZESE_.nwpufZq59yEibipTNmJHqV.YYKSnSf3OwmsaLF_tGsDToH0DqhYEnyBXJsew8JQpoO8KcPv0is92FdlSxFXmmL5J.3dtZ29RcLISpFKMkxYdSLC4CmsZrWuNq5lHs.vd1qR4fTlGngf9umWVKcTp6ox1hFRR.NY58r8RZ.Jr.FIl_OPqv_qggi4Jku5Pu_jh.PUnxmLkpEDM6sQUiUGnIMSEtAhqbvmbkIaqp4_aLHYdoGcuWTjw3iVL5Z7m27XyZ6OHTJ4Ilk.BZflzdjzsXONMUn6bte4tndE59Avtq2x47UOwuOcGrUAsOZouUI_XStY_XB_bCWxhHpdf3YGFCsGdUubCG9FF6.J7JcmFsKOhZINlzg7Jpp3cSMTMzCMu2spnwA7aoaOPaIpPEyGAAQHWFMRcshO7nzvd.0V5APfGHV5R2hn7xQSjrnemRVQQZwgfdBp2UdQ1TTAasgAbU1W9trXXDSBUcdoD6CypOfnnqN.azK8xkj.flu2_jzC1WBDh3HEOh51YxcHRkv3cCnNkOTV0oH1xTBwAF_saFTIeSwWmenbv76Qwh7PPG6BkCN1GoYdf3jmwnkkSYGDUsUnmNCQqcMLWOTwgetumuYOhyMMWF3JRvliQ0KbSCVB0MaBaIud8mYw6_NafEOSWuQMWzy2ZY57wL1r42g6ucCPUmvXqJgzBVjItdQyKIBpbz1795JlnE1eWX.48bDWjEDObByNOUMdXlQMDc1.gbYjltqTDy0kB4TwDoZ2Z4dKYsjupYlq7JJAEK1NNGc49Cr4d5yCoBYOQZ3dXO1VLnWtpOLxZnK3WiHsuG3spWep76JJs.boUYXdt_Z0RCiGJt10j7UHQ4kqLKrkT27iaOTgLuNrGQ8UC7B05JsI.02mBY492LJFFgkdqH7Ol_Xj8WVjRRq6NokF1YLYiEOcjR2TljuiE1qD7DU7iHPGXpJdbEPcQMvfDlXG0WCH.raB0xniQKLQwKzB9ujQFSdM6ZR27gBwt1kqq1QEN8VCj1POzxAsUdWpyRN54mnPRroSSLXz3_FhXonQpkAAoYjPK0QAxKaKAMKTLV0c6ER6fv8i.OPWTXhzXgF8in.Bl2TiIYhUuep9EbP9wlshzLkABrBkeD48HBWH.kg5a0Kdv2Ci_sL0qeArXiyZALzdqATrXkmd2gwBtIPJ4hOqEwvWmcnbrKBIv6I3d7GSzASOkOuoroDEQE.Oxpr3hyy46vDhAn8tLsZa26UymbXzDKV1.U_dVvPoLSRpL9AYSBj9i7nOGdzYsGYFef4615MMq21o6vOKwjCdHzTgScCvdQlAc53iM.l8ZurUuxxd.arIfub24I0MLKNNsIFY7uGS8KJgcYQGAje_gwDN1YM3YCKhvX76Vp86M3NUXVgjFR2FD7XQFzC_KLAyBeqW5EowYfygEghSUafeKkRfIYL0yr3Zq10KZLAIgR4K8EYoXL5Bf3Yps.yfFNpPc4L3hP3DE4kj46WWFX8EqImBWzWgE8KdfePEjI46gPjUOmP2WfVka9k5k0S4rI9SwVsSh2gzB2zq36uh0XAmPdnTOWwqKqtH9OmjkI_f9Ey4F8DXynzR.OS3sXxrbrgrnscNcQysj2E_05_ZMr3IBBoF2JQnaINAcn3oJsniatVZskeGtdPtw67T5habKQ3tzfcIKJxg--&ru=

Just wanted to let you folks know that your city is awesome!
Usually not a fan of cities in general, more of a country mouse. Dislike the traffic and noise and confusing routes and dickhead people and prices etc.... Been to many bigger cities all over the USA and mostly hate them all, hah.
Go to a lot of concerts which brings me to various cities and came to Lexington for Billy Strings a few weekends ago.
Everybody I met was super friendly, especially the local people at the concerts, and seemed pretty genuine.
We stayed in an AirBnb near Transylvania College and we hung out with some guy who lived in the apartments, just genuinely nice cool dude, you could tell he was a good dude because his big dog was super nice too.
We ate at restaurants and went to bars the whole time and they were all affordable and had good service.
I usually refuse to drive anywhere when staying in cities that I'm not familiar with, but it was super easy to drive around and the people did not drive like assholes. We drove to McConnell Springs park, which was very nice for being so near the city, and there was some event going on there where young people had owls and hawks and were super enthusiastic to tell me about them, and some old timers were playing some really good bluegrass music there. Seemed like there was bluegrass playing everywhere, and bluegrass is why I came there!
We walked home from the concerts both nights and it was completely uneventful, felt perfectly safe.
Have added Lexington, KY to the short list of cities that I really like along with Wilmington, NC, St. Augustine, FL, and Atlantic City, NJ (OK, I just like that place because you do not have to drive anywhere at all once you park and it's like a giant carnival on the ocean, I don't even gamble.)

His ex sent me this message. Sorry it’s so long! Has anybody else gotten a similar message in the past? How did you react?
Message below: “It’s been over a year of me wondering whether I should just come out and ask you or message you… but being afraid that if I do, and I’m wrong, it’ll be a the biggest mistake of my life. I have begged and begged him to tell me what you are to him, and he denies having anything more than a platonic friendship with you.
I want to preface this message with, I have no ill will towards you, I just want some answers… answers I don’t believe I’m going to get from Jared. I don’t know if he’s mentioned anything about me. So here goes…
November 2022, I sent Jared an email, telling him I loved him, missed him, and though I didn’t require a response back, I wanted him to know how sorry I was for everything that had happened and things had ended. He responded with a lengthy email telling me he still fervently loved me and how he too was sorry for how things had ended. That email lead to the last year and a half of events.
December 2022, I drove down to Roanoke and surprised him at the Carilion garage. He left the hospital as fast as he could that night, and we spent the rest of that evening together, catching up, and he left for Key West two days later. Two weeks later, he came up to DC and we had a late birthday celebration for him at Clyde’s in Georgetown and went to see A Christmas Carol at the Ford Theater. A few weeks later we drove to Jersey to see Matchbox20, by now it was the end of January 2023. Almost every week off, for the last year, he would come up and see me, if even for only two days, or I would drive down to Roanoke and spend the week with him. We spoke about our past, the hurt, and future, he told me numerous times that when he pictured marriage and children, it was only with me, but he needed time. This part is important, and I’ll come back to it later. We celebrated my birthday at a restaurant in Navy Yard, two weeks before you guys left for London. Chris video chatted with that night while we were at the restaurant eating Wagyu, and they discussed the new shipment of sunglasses Chris had gotten for Miggieswear.
The weekend of the Super Bowl, he had come seen me earlier that week, the day after he left I came to Roanoke and left the day of the Super Bowl. He told me his parents were having a viewing party and he had to go home and cook. I’m now assuming he left my Airbnb and came to your place.
That February he planned a trip to London, with Nicole, Ryan and Chris, and what he told me were, Nicole’s “friends.” Nicole happened to post a picture of you guys sitting on the plane and I was shocked, why would Nicole’s friend be sitting between him and Ryan. I sent him a message while you were on that 6 hour flight, telling him that if he had been seeing somebody, then why didn’t he tell me? There was no point in us spending time together if he had moved on. His response to me was “do you even know what you’re looking at? I’m surprised you don’t recognize her, that’s Nicole’s friend. You’re jumping to a lot of conclusions right now and don’t know what you’re talking about.” Something in my gut didn’t believe it but I wanted to trust that, so I did. I put you out of sight, out of mind. When he got back, he told me how he wished I’d been there with him, we both love history and old buildings, it’s a place we would have found magical together. I don’t know who came up with the idea of going to London, but part of me always thinks I’m the one who put it there when I shared the pictures i had taken when I went there the year we had been no contact.
We went to a Kenny Chesney concert in Charlottesville that March when I got back from my family trip to India, and he got back from London. Between work, us both traveling with our families, we were excited to see one another. We were going to go to St Augustine, but because of the weather, we stayed in Roanoke and saw Kenny Chesney in Charlottesville. The original plan had been to spend the night in Charlottesville at a hotel, but we couldn’t get one last minute so we ended up driving back to Roanoke and sneaking into the basement at his parents house and sleeping in his bed at 3am.
A few months later, we went to Richmond, and stayed the weekend, exploring the city, and watched Hamilton at the Altria Theater. A few months after that, we went to Savannah and Atlanta, where he got a flat tire driving into the garage, and spent the rest of the weekend at a yoga retreat. July, he asked me to go to Boston with him and his brother, for 4th or July weekend, but I couldn’t because my siblings were in town. Every single week, he came down and either stayed with me, or made a quick trip to spend time with me…
This past September, I found out he took you to Justin’s wedding, and I broke. I needed more from him. I have known him, been intimate with him, shared my every fear, worry, I have brought him home cooked meals from DC and surprised him at work with dinner, I’ve made him care packages. I’ve made Ryan Easter baskets and sent him birthday presents and encouraged Jared to put him in academic classes, I’ve helped Jared look into private schools for Ryan, and weighed the pros and cons of the options. I had no expectations in return from him other than, at the very least, a mutual respect and HONESTY.
I’ve seen him quite a few times since September and I last saw him in Roanoke at the beginning of March 2024. We sat in front of each other, in his car before he went into work that Monday night, and he told me, again, that when he thinks of marriage and a future, I’m the only one he pictures a marriage and children with. I’m not saying this to hurt you, or to make a point, I’m saying it because i don’t know what to believe anymore.
I became suspicious of his relationship with you, when he mentioned going to Macchu Picchu and hiking through the mountains. As all women have the ability to find out details they might later regret, I did the same thing. Except I didn’t believe he had actually gone to Macchu Picchu. I knew his passport had been long expired since around or before COVID, and I knew he had renewed it before he went to London. But that was when I realized you were the girl in the photo that Nicole posted. When I confronted him about Macchu Picchu, he told me he had been joking and he had also already told me he’d been joking. He had NEVER told me it was a joke, he had actually refused to show me photos when I asked him for pictures from the trip… he had then proceeded to change the topic, which is what had even raised red flags in my head.
My point is, I have asked him point blank so many times whether you two have a relationship. You tell me you still love me, that you picture marriage and a family with me, but this girl is a part of your life, and you took her to a wedding with you, while I was on a trip with my siblings, you took her to London with you, and you continue to tell me she’s just a friend. I asked him again on Tuesday night/Wednesday Morning after he left work, if you two are dating, and he said no. He asked me why I’m so hyper-fixated on somebody who’s just a friend when he has a million other female friends.
In September, he told me he needed a month to clear his head, that he wanted to commit to me, but he was afraid and that he needed to get over the fear and roadblock of our past break up. I gave him grace and understood. So we took a 4 week break. Some time during that time period, he sent me a snap of doves, and said “doves, and swans mate for life.” He sent me Ed Sheeran songs telling me he wants to find his way back to me. “No Strings Attached… you are the one I love”
In November, he messaged me and told me he had a surprise for me and to look for something in the mail. He loves the Count of Monte Carlo, it’s one of his favorite movies, and he told me it was in reference to that. A few weeks later I got a candle, a silver 400 dollar Buddha candle from Thomson Ferrier. I didn’t understand the reference to the Count of Monte Carlo, but it was a beautiful gesture and present… especially because he knew how much little gestures from him mean to me.
Fast forward to January, I got another 350 dollar black skull candle from him, from Thomson Ferrier. At this point I was upset, angry and livid. I called my sister in tears that evening. I had come back to him because he told me he loved me, that he “has a fire that burns so deeply” when he thinks of me. If i had known that wasn’t true, i would have closed the chapter a year and a half ago. I don’t want $700 worth of gifts and candles, I want more. I want marriage, I want children, I want our lives to move forward, I want communication. Out of anger, I packed up the candle, his sweatshirts and clothes that he had left at my place this past year, and mailed them back to his house. I’m sure it’s sitting somewhere in his basement closet/ bedroom… along with his white Huq sweatshirt, a picture of us I had up in my house, and various articles of clothing.
What upsets me is that he didn’t just involve me this year, he involved my family. He sent my mom presents, my parents in return sent him gifts. My sister, parents and cousins messaged him asking him to come around more. There was no point in involving my family, if he was going to involve himself with you. There was no point in involving himself with me, if he was going to involve himself with you. Those leather Indian shoes sitting in his room, my dad bought those for him. That blue sweater, those green pants and that maroon shirt, my parents bought those for him just this last year.
I don’t know what he’s told you about me, but I will say this. I was your age when we started dating. I was 29 years old. He was single, that’s what everyone in our residency program thought. He would tell everyone how Shari left him one day, all of a sudden just got up and left. “I saw the look behind her eyes just change when she looked at me.” He would tell everyone his horrific dating stories. When i started dating him, there was no doubt in my mind he was single… but I was wrong. He wasn’t single, he was dating Devon, one of the nurses from Carilion, and he had been for the past 4 years prior to that. At one point when he moved to Norfolk, she had even moved in with him. Even Shari was visiting him in Norfolk during this time period. I would have never suspected it, nobody in our residency program did. It wasn’t until one day, when he told me his friends were visiting from home, and they were all going to a concert together, that I found out. Her profile picture was of the two of them together, and her Facebook relationship status said “in a relationship.” Out of my own naivety, i believed him when he told me she was crazy and obsessed with him. He told me, to him, they were just friends but she wanted more. Women do a lot of things, but no woman is dumb enough to think she’s your girlfriend when she’s not. When we moved back to our hometowns, Devon was there waiting for him. He disappeared one day for 24 hours, told me that he was helping his dad’s friend who was stranded in NC. A year and a half later, i would find out that was a lie and that he had been at a concert Florida Georgia Line concert with her. She had been visiting his grandmother with him, staying at his parents home. The irony is that a few weeks after he took her, he took me to the same concert in Scranton. Him and his family didn’t bat an eye when a month later, I showed up and was the “new girlfriend.”
Eventually Devon found out about his lies and left him, but again, stupid me thought she was a crazy girl who just wanted so badly to be with him, that she built their relationship up in her head.
Dignity, respect for humans, empathy, are the most important qualities in a human being.
What I don’t wish is for you to be in my spot in 5 years. He will paint you in his colors, make you fall in love with MB20, and take you to Augustana concerts, he’ll tell you that you understand him, and his heart in a way that nobody else does. He’ll bond with you over music, and send you songs that make you feel he’s talking about you. He is so good at making you feel seen, and involving you with his family. He’ll say he had a vision of a girl that looks like you, coming into his life, and here you are, his soul mate. And one day, the same way that Shari, Devon and I got lost in him, the reality of everything will come pouring down on you. Be careful, there are signs between the lines, and the smiles, and good times. Make sure you don’t miss those, whatever you decide.
My relationship with him, started off just like yours. Another girl on the periphery, and teetering the line of inappropriate. Everything you call him out on, will always have an excuse, and you will believe him because he’s the “good guy” who goes above and beyond for people.
I don’t wish for any woman to go through the pain I’ve gone through, the manipulation, the lies and the emotional abuse. I can’t tell you what to do, but I will say, be careful and don’t be blind to the small things that will one day become huge. The novelty will fade, and though Jared isn’t the devil, he has a lot of growing up to do at 40. It was not okay to toy with me and drag me through the mud this year. It wasn’t okay to minimize his relationship with you and lie to me about it. It’s not okay to, to this day claim to see a life with me and not commit to it. I deserve better, and you deserve better.
How men talk about their ex’s and other women is an indication about how they will one day talk about and treat you. That is the worst and best lesson i have learned. I’m 34, years of my life wasted, and he took another year of my life knowing full well, this is how it would end. He’s sat on the phone with me for hours talking about how stupid PA’s are and if you were going to not be a doctor, at least become an NP, who has better bedside knowledge. Why would he say that, because i suppose you’re a PA and it minimizes the significance of even having a relationship with somebody who isn’t as intelligent as he is. The lack of respect will always be there, you just have to look for it.
Dishonesty, and manipulation are a plague, and if that’s who you are at 40, it is who you will always be unless you recognize that something needs to change. Where there is no accountability, there can be no change. I’m not the exception, I’m the same as the two girls before me. He’ll show you text messages where he never responded to me, even though he replies on Snapchat where every thing is erased. I cannot believe i didn’t see the signs. He will make me look crazy and laugh at me, the same way he showed me messages from Jen, and Elisabeth, and Devon, and made them sound crazy to me. I guess that’s his MO. The same way he told me you were nothing to him.
I was going to send you this message, two months ago… i then decided not to because he convinced me he wasn’t dating you… I saw him less than a month ago in Roanoke, i begged him to tell me that he was in a relationship with you. He said he wasn’t, again, he told me he was going to a wedding alone with only Ryan and that he wasn’t taking you. I then begged him to tell me that we were done and that he didn’t love me anymore. His response was idk what’s going to happen a year from now, i know I’ll see you again. His response every time has been when im ready for a relationship, emotionally, do you want me to finally let you know? I don’t care to be with him anymore. I’m so over it but i really think you should know the type of person you’re dealing with.
He has put me through so much hell for a year and a half of my life, stringing me along acting like he’s doing me a favor while he works on his own mental health and claims to still love me when we are together.”
TLDR: my SO’s ex messaged me saying he’s been seeing both of us for the past year and a half. Has anybody experienced this before. She sent me pictures from the past year of them and their text exchanges

Omg, this might be long but I just want to paint a picture of how evil and diabolical my husband’s toxic SIL is. Because I JUST made a connection about some odd comments she made a few years ago.
Back in 2022, I was 3mo pregnant. Important detail: Hubby and I wanted to wait 5 years after marriage to try for kids and we did! So, anyway, I initiated a convo between BIL and his toxic wife to try and make amends (like I’d already stupidly done 5x+ 🙄). At the restaurant, our waitress was telling us that she’d been trying for a baby for a couple years with no luck. My BIL turned to the waitress and said, “It’ll happen for you — my SIL here and my brother tried for YEARS with no luck and now they’re expecting..” and I was SHOCKED bc that’s a total lie. I said “Uhh no that’s not true. It happened right away.” I guess they couldn’t possibly fathom that my husband and I actually planned and prepared for our kid (because they don’t and just call it “God’s Will when they get pregnant 🙄 they don’t even properly care for or love the 4 kids they already have) and so they genuinely had to lie to themselves and believe that hubby and I were infertile???
Here’s the crazy part: around 2021, I was talking with a couple of ladies about kids and, husband’s toxic SIL, out of the blue, said to my face, “Yeah, thankfully I’m suuuper duper fertile…. Are YOU pregnant?” And I was confused cause it was so random and said “Nope! We’re not trying anytime soon.”
I now realize that she made that comment while believing I was infertile. WHO TF SAYS THAT?? Omg. Just one of the MANY reasons I’m NC with her. It takes a special kind of evil person to say something that horrible. 🤮 Like, what if I WERE infertile? This is the same monster who: - told me that “One kid is A JOKE” when I was like 35wks along with my first (and only) son. She has 4 daughters so she feels superior, I guess? 🙄 - who posted on FB when she was “9wks” that they were “expecting” while FULLY knowing that the baby didn’t develop beyond 5wks. She literally pretended everything was okay with the baby and then waited til she was “16wks” to announce their loss (coincidentally) on my SON’s FIRST BDAY (I know my son doesn’t own the day he was born on but the fact that she waited literally 10+ weeks to announce it on that particular day is… crazy.)
She’s truly fkn evil and has the lowest self esteem I’ve ever seen. She has to (try to) put others down to make herself feel better.
Also, she’s never told me Happy Mother’s Day but, now that she’s blocked, she tried to relay a “Happy Mother’s Day” to me though my husband. 🙄 like, girl, BYE. 🖕🏽 It’s exhausting. He didn’t reply 🤣 he’s sooo sick of her sh*t, too. Ugh. I’m done.

If you’d like to add an event to our calendar, submit an event here. Please check with the event organizers to see if events change due to weather. Have a great week!
See the full weekly calendar on our website.

Noteworthy Events

The Lion King at DPAC

• Winner of six Tony Awards®, including Best Musical, this landmark musical event brings together one of the most imaginative creative teams on Broadway.
• Wed, May 15 - Sun, June 9
• $29.50+

Adult Recess at CCB Plaza

• Let your inner child shine as you play games, make crafts, and enjoy the fresh air during your lunch break!
• Wed, May 15
• 12-2 p.m.
• Free admission

Duke Baseball vs UNC at Jack Coombs Field

• Thu, May 16 - Sat, May 18

Bimbé Celebration at Rock Quarry Park

• This family-oriented event is a celebration of African and African American history, culture, arts, and traditions. This year's headliner: Monica!
• Sat, May 18
• 1-7 p.m.
• Free admission

Peter Pan at The Carolina Theatre

• This adventure begins at the London home of the Darling family, a typical evening in 1912, as the weary parents try to settle their children down for bed while the young ones insist on staying up late. Little do Wendy, John, and Michael know that a fantastic journey awaits them that night.
• Sat, May 18
• 3 p.m. and 6 p.m.
• $32+

DPW Limit Break at Durham Convention Center

• Wrestlers from all over the world will gather in one place for a night you won't forget.
• Sun, May 19
• 7 p.m.
• $25+

Multi-Day Events

The NGIN Cityscapes Summit at Durham Convention Center

• Hosted by national nonprofit, New Growth Innovation Network, prepare to connect with like-minded professionals and engage with purpose-driven organizations. Immerse yourself in workshops and captivating keynotes from renowned speakers, featuring three tracks of insightful sessions: Inclusive Capital, Community Wealth Building, and Reimagining Systems.
• Wed, May 15 - Fri, May 17
• Registration fees vary

Durham Greek Festival at St. Barbara Greek Orthodox Church

• Enjoy fabulous Greek food, desserts, wine and beer in a festive outdoor atmosphere. Continuous Greek music and scheduled folk dance performances.
• Sat, May 18, 11 a.m. - 9 p.m. and Sun, May 19, 11 a.m. - 7 p.m.
• Free admission

Historic Buildings Open House at West Point on the Eno Park

• Enjoy a look inside the historic McCown-Mangum House, Photography Museum, and Mill.
• Sat, May 18 and Sun, May 19
• 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.
• Free admission

Movies at The Carolina Theatre

• Libeled Lady
• Dirty Harry & Assault on Precinct 13
• Cat City
• Back to Black
• Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
• UHF

Monday, May 13

2 p.m.
Board Game Night at The Glass Jug in Downtown Durham
5 p.m.
Arts & Drafts at Fullsteam Brewery
6 p.m.
Disc Golf Putting League at The Glass Jug in RTP
6:30 p.m.
Trivia Night at Ponysaurus Brewing Company
7 p.m.
Community Board Game Night at Moon Dog Meadery

Tuesday, May 14

Events at Durty Bull Brewing Brewing Company

• 12-8 p.m. - Food Truck: Mike's Vegan Cookout
• 7-9 p.m. - Bull City Beer Runners Run Club
• 7-8 p.m. - Puzzled Pints Game Night

Events at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in Downtown Durham

• 5:45-6:30 p.m. - Community Zumba Classes
• 6-8 p.m. - Music Bingo

Events at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP

• 6-8 p.m. - The Glass Jog Run Club
• 6-9 p.m. - Stitch & Sip

5:30 p.m.
Boxyard Run Club at Boxyard RTP
6 p.m.
In Other Words at Arcana
Duke Baseball vs College of Charleston at Jack Coombs Field
Bring Your Own Vinyl with Jaffar at Rubies on Five Points
Women on the Wall at Triangle Rock Club - Durham
6:30 p.m.
Trivia at Durham Food Hall
Pony Ride at Ponysaurus Brewing Company
7 p.m.
Trivia at Beer Study Durham
Not Rocket Science Trivia at DSSOLVR Durham
Tuesday Blues Jam at The Blue Note Grill
8 p.m.
Comedy Night at Bull City Ciderworks
Jeremy 'Bean' Clemons Trio at Kingfisher
Enter Shikari at Motorco Music Hall
Vision Video + Tears For The Dying at The Pinhook

Wednesday, May 15

Events at Atomic Empire

• 6:30 p.m. - Dragon Ball Fusion World Release Event
• 7 p.m. - Flesh and Blood Armory Event

Events at Boxyard RTP

• 12-2 p.m. - Hear & There: Daniel Delorenzo
• 5:30-8:30 p.m. - Game Night

Events at ZincHouse Winery & Brewery

• 7-8 p.m. - Signature Wine Tasting
• 7-8:30 p.m. - Laughs Comedy Night

9 a.m.
Senior Short Game Clinic at Hillandale Golf Course
10:30 a.m.
Storytime on the Roof with Durham County Library at The Durham Hotel
12 p.m.
Adult Recess at CCB Plaza
3 p.m.
Durham Farmers’ Market at Durham Central Park
4 p.m.
Whiskey Wednesdays at Alley Twenty Six
5 p.m.
Free Wednesday Wine Tasting at Beer Study Durham
5:30 p.m.
Ride of Silence at CCB Plaza
6 p.m.
Queer Craft Night and Tarot with Joy at Arcana
Bimbe Community Block Party at Holton Career & Resource Center
Come Take a Flight With Us: A Bright Black Workshop at Proximity Brewing Company
Free RTP Business Rockstar Connect Networking Event at Sheraton Imperial Hotel
Sweet Social: Auntie's African Ice Cream at The Durham Hotel
6:30 p.m.
Trivia Night with Pickle at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP
7 p.m.
Bottle Swap: Homebrew Club at Durty Bull Brewing Brewing Company
Skip The Small Talk: Speed Friending Event at Fullsteam Brewery
Hammered Trivia at Hi-Wire Brewing
Karaoke Night at Mavericks Smokehouse
Music Bingo at Ponysaurus Brewing Company
3rd Wednesday Jazz Jam Session at Succotash Southern & Creole Kitchen
Brett Chambers Open Mic at The Blue Note Grill
8 p.m.
Air Hockey Tournament at Boxcar Bar + Arcade
Trivia Night at Bull McCabe's
Karaoke at Moon Dog Meadery
The Weeks at Motorco Music Hall
Blends With Friends at The Pinhook

Thursday, May 16

Events at Boxyard RTP

• 7:30-8 a.m. - Bike Durham: Bike to Work
• 12-2 p.m. - Taking Back Thursday: Sheila Casalett

Events at Durty Bull Brewing Brewing Company

• 12-8 p.m. -Food Truck: Mike's Vegan Cookout
• 7-9 p.m. - Thursday Trivia with Nick

8:30 a.m.
Harnessing the Power of AI to Ensure Equitable HR Practices at RTI Holden Building
9:30 a.m.
Guide Supported Canoeing, Kayaking, and Standup Paddleboarding at Eno River
12:15 p.m.
Midday Meander: A Strolling Conversation at Sarah P. Duke Gardens
3 p.m.
Guided Museum Tour at 21c Museum Hotels Durham
5 p.m.
Thirsty Thursdays at Dashi
Righteous Roots Reggae Show at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP
5:30 p.m.
Walking Club with Bull City Strollers at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in Downtown Durham
6 p.m.
Queer Trivia at Arcana
Vinyl Night with DJ Deckades at Gizmo Brew Works
6:15 p.m.
Pony Run at Ponysaurus Brewing Company
6:30 p.m.
AfterHours: Science of Beer at Museum of Life and Science
Line Dance Classes at Mystic Farm and Distillery
Space Code Youth Open Mic at NorthStar Church of the Arts
Boulders & Brews Meetup at Triangle Rock Club - Durham
7 p.m.
Trivia Night at Beer Tooth Taproom
Bimbé Cypher at CCB Plaza
Bring Your Own Vinyl Night at Congress Social Bar
Duke Baseball vs UNC at Jack Coombs Field
Summer Jazz Jam (Curated by Al Strong) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
Community Board Game Night at Moon Dog Meadery
Al Strong Presents Jazz on the Roof at The Durham Hotel
7:30 p.m.
Trivia Night with Big Slow Tom at Clouds Brewing Brightleaf Square
Reverend Billy C. Wirtz / Armand Lenchek & Carter Minor at The Blue Note Grill
Pillow Talk: Speed Dating and Conversations About Sex / Sexuality at The Pinhook
8 p.m.
Weekly Single Mingle at Boxcar Bar + Arcade
Trivia at Fullsteam Brewery
Danny Lopriore at Motorco Music Hall
9 p.m.
DJ Halo Presents: No Requests at Rubies on Five Points
9:30 p.m.
Karaoke Night at The Tavern

Friday, May 17

Events at Atomic Empire

• 6:30 p.m. - Lorcana: Ursula’s Return Release Event
• 6:30 p.m. - Commander Legends: Battle for Baldur's Gate Draft

Events at Durty Bull Brewing Company

• 5-9 p.m. - Food Truck: La Republica Taco Truck
• 8-11 p.m. - Open Mic Stand-up Comedy

Events at Mettlesome

• 7:30-9 p.m. - Wit: An Improv Comedy Game Show
• 9-10 p.m. - Hush Hush

Events at Moon Dog Meadery

• 6:45 p.m. - Lindy Hop Lesson + Dance
• 7:30 p.m. - Djam
• 9:30 p.m. - Bachata Dance Night

Events at The Blue Note Grill

• 6-8 p.m. - The Duke Street Dogs
• 9:15 p.m. - The Beautiful People Club

10 a.m.
Tasting at Ten at Counter Culture Coffee
12 p.m.
Co-Working Social at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in Downtown Durham
4 p.m.
Late Spring Tree Ramble at Sarah P. Duke Gardens
5 p.m.
Guided Museum Tours at 21c Museum Hotels Durham
Food Truck Friday at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP
5:30 p.m.
LOJO: Log Off, Jam On at Boxyard RTP
6 p.m.
Aly J & Kevin Clark and Tarot with Kathleen at Arcana
Third Friday Art Walk at Downtown Durham
Friday Night Makes at Durham Arts Council
May Third Friday at Durham Arts Council
Counterpoints Exhibition Reception at Durham Bottling Co.
Third Friday at Golden Belt Arts
Duke Baseball vs UNC at Jack Coombs Field
Screenprint Roundup at The Fruit
The Patio Dance Parties : Clueless Fridays at Unscripted Durham
6:30 p.m.
Kayla Waters (Hosted by Marcus Anderson) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
7 p.m.
Live Vinyl Spinning by PhDJ at Beer Study Durham
Early Show: John Howie Jr. / Ramona and The Holy Smokes at The Pinhook
7:30 p.m.
Evening Eno Exploration Paddle at Eno River
Evan Ringel & Ariel Pocock at Sharp 9 Gallery
8 p.m.
Pass the Aux at Boricua Soul
Stereo Reveries at DSSOLVR Durham
Karaoke! at Fullsteam Brewery
Cheekface at Motorco Music Hall
Dance Blues Friday at Studio 5
9 p.m.
Kayla Waters (Hosted by Marcus Anderson) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
10 p.m.
The Floor: Special Guest THEYDYLIKE at Rubies on Five Points

Saturday, May 18

Events at Atomic Empire

• 11 a.m. - Pokémon TCG: League Cup
• 1 p.m. - Lorcana: Ursula’s Return Release Event
• 2 p.m. - Game Designers of North Carolina Meetup

Events at Boxyard RTP 11 a.m. - 2:30 p.m. - Will & Well: Grand Opening

• 11:30 a.m. - 2:30 p.m. - Saturdaze: DJ k.ward

Events at Durty Bull Brewing Company

• 1-8 p.m. - Food Truck: Death By Taco
• 3-7 p.m. - 3rd Saturday Vintage + Maker Market
• 5-9 p.m. - Home Brewed: CNOTE Art Spectacular

Distillery Tours and Tastings at Liberty & Plenty

• Every Saturday, 10-10:30 a.m. and 11-11:30 a.m.

Events at Mettlesome

• 7:30-8:30 p.m. - House Party
• 8:30-9:30 p.m. - Harold Night
• 9:30-10:30 p.m. - Mint Condition Standup Showcase

Events at The Fruit

• 5-8 p.m. - Menace To Society Album Listening Party
• 7:30-10 p.m. - HUMP! Film Festival
• 10 p.m. - 2 a.m. - Puro Perreo Pari

Events at The Pinhook

• 7:30 p.m. - Boogie Burly Nights... A Groovy 70s Show
• 10:30 p.m. - Drake and Friends 2

Guided Walking Tours with Triangle Adventures

• 2 p.m. - Downtown Durham Walking Tour
• 4 p.m. - Durham African American History Tour
• 6 p.m. - Downtown Durham True Crime Tour

7 a.m.
Lookin For A Cure at Bull City Running Company-South
8 a.m.
Durham Farmers' Market at Durham Central Park
parkrun Durham at Southern Boundaries Park
9 a.m.
South Durham Farmers' Market at Greenwood Commons Shopping Center
9:30 a.m.
Guide Supported Canoeing, Kayaking, and Standup Paddleboarding at Eno River
10 a.m.
Pop Up Record Show at Beer Durham
Durham's Home Goods Market at Black Wall St Gardens
Bear Awareness Week at Museum of Life and Science
10:30 a.m.
Mother's Day Brunch at The Durham Hotel
11 a.m.
Battle of the Blades 2024 at Historic Durham Athletic Park
12 p.m.
Springtime Outdoor Market at Boxcar Bar + Arcade
Crafternoons at Gizmo Brew Works
Preservation Durham Annual Home Tour: The Rambling Ranch at Orchard Park Picnic Shelter
1 p.m.
Duke Baseball vs UNC at Jack Coombs Field
Say It With Glass Workshop - Sam Nguyen at Moon Dog Meadery
Bimbé Celebration at Rock Quarry Park
2 p.m.
Closing Reception — Dan Gottlieb: Figure Ground at Craven Allen Gallery
Durham "Bullpen" Treasure Hunt - Walking Team Scavenger Hunt! at Fullsteam Brewery
3 p.m.
A Beautiful Noise Spring Concert by the Common Woman Chorus at Eno River Unitarian Universalist Fellowship
Peter Pan at The Carolina Theatre
4 p.m.
Family Fun Saturday: May Flowers at Guglhupf Restaurant
5 p.m.
Rooftops and Alleyways Community Canvas Wall Brawl at Dashi
Durham Blues & Brews Festival at Durham Central Park
Hops & Blues at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP
6 p.m.
The Moon Unit and Tarot with Emily at Arcana
Peter Pan at The Carolina Theatre
6:30 p.m.
Kayla Waters (Hosted by Marcus Anderson) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
7 p.m.
A Beautiful Noise Spring Concert by the Common Woman Chorus at Eno River Unitarian Universalist Fellowship
Crones of Anarchy: Blues, Rock, Americana at Succotash Southern & Creole Kitchen
7:30 p.m.
Jim Ketch Swingtet at Sharp 9 Gallery
Big Birthday Dance Party: Combo Platter with 2 Sides at The Blue Note Grill
8:15 p.m.
BBYMUTHA: Sleep Paralysis Tour 2024 at Motorco Music Hall
9 p.m.
Kayla Waters (Hosted by Marcus Anderson) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
10 p.m.
Fortune Factory Presents: Taurus Dance Party at Rubies on Five Points

Sunday, May 19

Events at Atomic Empire

• 11:30 a.m. - Star Wars: Shatterpoint Tournament
• 12 p.m. - Battletech Campaign Day
• 1 p.m. - Lorcana: Ursula’s Return Release Event

Events at Durty Bull Brewing Company

• 2-4 p.m. - Hammered Trivia with Casey
• 4-8 p.m. - The Blood Connection Blood Drive

10 a.m.
Jazz Brunch at Lula & Sadie's
10:30 a.m.
Al Strong Presents Jazz Brunch at Alley Twenty Six
12 p.m.
Preservation Durham Annual Home Tour: The Rambling Ranch at Orchard Park Picnic Shelter
Sunday Dollar Bin Sale for Charity at Rumors Durham
Supernatural Sunday - Psychic Affair + Healers Market at Weldon Mills Distillery
Farmers Market at ZincHouse Winery & Brewery
12:15 p.m.
Public Tour at Duke Chapel
2 p.m.
Hillandale Golf Beginner Clinic at Hillandale Golf Course
3:30 p.m.
Davis Dance Company Spring Recital 2024 at The Carolina Theatre
4 p.m.
Showings at Scripps: Miguel Gutierrez at ADF's Samuel H. Scripps Studios
Carmina Burana at Baldwin Auditorium
Día de las Madres Kermes at El Futuro’s Therapeutic Green Space
String Break at Fullsteam Brewery
6 p.m.
Emma Jane's EP Release Show and Tarot with Joy at Arcana
Davis Dance Company Spring Recital 2024 at The Carolina Theatre
6:30 p.m.
Open Mic Night at Moon Dog Meadery
7 p.m.
DPW Limit Break at Durham Convention Center

Running Art Exhibit

Hometown (Inherited): Ten Year Retrospective at The Fruit

• This project examines the changing landscape of our city through a series of forty mixed media pieces the artist has created since 2014.
• Third Friday openings on Apr 19 and May 17, 6-9 p.m.
• Drop-in by appointment and Wednesdays 4-7 p.m.
• Free admission

Dan Gottlieb: Figure Ground at Craven Allen Gallery

• Each piece begins as a photograph, which is then printed on acrylic and worked with a variety of paints and compounds to create a unique surface.
• Sat, May 4 - Sat, May 18
• Free admission

Constellations: 40 Years of Explorations within Sacred Geometry by Steven Ferlauto at Horse & Buggy Press and Friends

• Sacred Geometry is an ancient field of physics whose equations are expressed through shape. Shape is a way to explore the universal fabric of our existence.
• Sat, May 4 - Sat, June 1
• Free admission

It Ain’t All Black And White at DAG Truist Gallery

• It Ain’t All Black and White is a photography exhibition that encourages us to consider emotions such as serenity, apprehension, yearning, and more.
• Captured by 11 dynamic photographers dedicated to documenting the fullness and complexity of Black life, this exhibition offers each of us an opportunity to see ourselves with renewed attention.
• Thu, Apr 25 - Sun, June 2

María Magdalena Campos-Pons: Behold at Nasher Museum of Art at Duke University

• María Magdalena Campos-Pons: Behold is a monographic exhibition of a visionary voice in photography, immersive installation, painting and performance.
• Thu, Feb 15 - Sun, Jun 9
• Every week, Tue-Sat 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Sun 12-5 p.m.
• Free admission

Counterpoints at Durham Bottling Co.

• Counterpoints is a curated showcase of local AAPI (Asian American Pacific Islander) artists, delving into the convergence of AAPI identity and mental health. Inspired by the intricate layers of musical counterpoint, its purpose is to weave together diverse narratives and confront the stigma surrounding mental health within our communities.
• Wed, May 1 - Sun, June 16
• Mon - Fri, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m.

Cameron Elyse's Divine Nine Legacy Memoir Exhibition at Hayti Heritage Center

• The Divine Nine Legacy Memoir delves deep into the history of the National Panhellenic Council (NPHC) or "Divine Nine," a collective of nine Greek Letter organizations founded on May 10th, 1930.
• These organizations were born out of the necessity to provide a voice for Black American students within the collegiate space. United by principles of service, community, brotherhood, and sisterhood, the Divine Nine work collectively to uplift society through acts of service to underserved areas across the nation.
• Fri, Apr 19 - Sat, June 1
• Free admission

His ex sent me this message. Sorry it’s so long! Has anybody else gotten a similar message in the past? How did you react?
Message below: “It’s been over a year of me wondering whether I should just come out and ask you or message you… but being afraid that if I do, and I’m wrong, it’ll be a the biggest mistake of my life. I have begged and begged him to tell me what you are to him, and he denies having anything more than a platonic friendship with you.
I want to preface this message with, I have no ill will towards you, I just want some answers… answers I don’t believe I’m going to get from Jared. I don’t know if he’s mentioned anything about me. So here goes…
November 2022, I sent Jared an email, telling him I loved him, missed him, and though I didn’t require a response back, I wanted him to know how sorry I was for everything that had happened and things had ended. He responded with a lengthy email telling me he still fervently loved me and how he too was sorry for how things had ended. That email lead to the last year and a half of events.
December 2022, I drove down to Roanoke and surprised him at the Carilion garage. He left the hospital as fast as he could that night, and we spent the rest of that evening together, catching up, and he left for Key West two days later. Two weeks later, he came up to DC and we had a late birthday celebration for him at Clyde’s in Georgetown and went to see A Christmas Carol at the Ford Theater. A few weeks later we drove to Jersey to see Matchbox20, by now it was the end of January 2023. Almost every week off, for the last year, he would come up and see me, if even for only two days, or I would drive down to Roanoke and spend the week with him. We spoke about our past, the hurt, and future, he told me numerous times that when he pictured marriage and children, it was only with me, but he needed time. This part is important, and I’ll come back to it later. We celebrated my birthday at a restaurant in Navy Yard, two weeks before you guys left for London. Chris video chatted with that night while we were at the restaurant eating Wagyu, and they discussed the new shipment of sunglasses Chris had gotten for Miggieswear.
The weekend of the Super Bowl, he had come seen me earlier that week, the day after he left I came to Roanoke and left the day of the Super Bowl. He told me his parents were having a viewing party and he had to go home and cook. I’m now assuming he left my Airbnb and came to your place.
That February he planned a trip to London, with Nicole, Ryan and Chris, and what he told me were, Nicole’s “friends.” Nicole happened to post a picture of you guys sitting on the plane and I was shocked, why would Nicole’s friend be sitting between him and Ryan. I sent him a message while you were on that 6 hour flight, telling him that if he had been seeing somebody, then why didn’t he tell me? There was no point in us spending time together if he had moved on. His response to me was “do you even know what you’re looking at? I’m surprised you don’t recognize her, that’s Nicole’s friend. You’re jumping to a lot of conclusions right now and don’t know what you’re talking about.” Something in my gut didn’t believe it but I wanted to trust that, so I did. I put you out of sight, out of mind. When he got back, he told me how he wished I’d been there with him, we both love history and old buildings, it’s a place we would have found magical together. I don’t know who came up with the idea of going to London, but part of me always thinks I’m the one who put it there when I shared the pictures i had taken when I went there the year we had been no contact.
We went to a Kenny Chesney concert in Charlottesville that March when I got back from my family trip to India, and he got back from London. Between work, us both traveling with our families, we were excited to see one another. We were going to go to St Augustine, but because of the weather, we stayed in Roanoke and saw Kenny Chesney in Charlottesville. The original plan had been to spend the night in Charlottesville at a hotel, but we couldn’t get one last minute so we ended up driving back to Roanoke and sneaking into the basement at his parents house and sleeping in his bed at 3am.
A few months later, we went to Richmond, and stayed the weekend, exploring the city, and watched Hamilton at the Altria Theater. A few months after that, we went to Savannah and Atlanta, where he got a flat tire driving into the garage, and spent the rest of the weekend at a yoga retreat. July, he asked me to go to Boston with him and his brother, for 4th or July weekend, but I couldn’t because my siblings were in town. Every single week, he came down and either stayed with me, or made a quick trip to spend time with me…
This past September, I found out he took you to Justin’s wedding, and I broke. I needed more from him. I have known him, been intimate with him, shared my every fear, worry, I have brought him home cooked meals from DC and surprised him at work with dinner, I’ve made him care packages. I’ve made Ryan Easter baskets and sent him birthday presents and encouraged Jared to put him in academic classes, I’ve helped Jared look into private schools for Ryan, and weighed the pros and cons of the options. I had no expectations in return from him other than, at the very least, a mutual respect and HONESTY.
I’ve seen him quite a few times since September and I last saw him in Roanoke at the beginning of March 2024. We sat in front of each other, in his car before he went into work that Monday night, and he told me, again, that when he thinks of marriage and a future, I’m the only one he pictures a marriage and children with. I’m not saying this to hurt you, or to make a point, I’m saying it because i don’t know what to believe anymore.
I became suspicious of his relationship with you, when he mentioned going to Macchu Picchu and hiking through the mountains. As all women have the ability to find out details they might later regret, I did the same thing. Except I didn’t believe he had actually gone to Macchu Picchu. I knew his passport had been long expired since around or before COVID, and I knew he had renewed it before he went to London. But that was when I realized you were the girl in the photo that Nicole posted. When I confronted him about Macchu Picchu, he told me he had been joking and he had also already told me he’d been joking. He had NEVER told me it was a joke, he had actually refused to show me photos when I asked him for pictures from the trip… he had then proceeded to change the topic, which is what had even raised red flags in my head.
My point is, I have asked him point blank so many times whether you two have a relationship. You tell me you still love me, that you picture marriage and a family with me, but this girl is a part of your life, and you took her to a wedding with you, while I was on a trip with my siblings, you took her to London with you, and you continue to tell me she’s just a friend. I asked him again on Tuesday night/Wednesday Morning after he left work, if you two are dating, and he said no. He asked me why I’m so hyper-fixated on somebody who’s just a friend when he has a million other female friends.
In September, he told me he needed a month to clear his head, that he wanted to commit to me, but he was afraid and that he needed to get over the fear and roadblock of our past break up. I gave him grace and understood. So we took a 4 week break. Some time during that time period, he sent me a snap of doves, and said “doves, and swans mate for life.” He sent me Ed Sheeran songs telling me he wants to find his way back to me. “No Strings Attached… you are the one I love”
In November, he messaged me and told me he had a surprise for me and to look for something in the mail. He loves the Count of Monte Carlo, it’s one of his favorite movies, and he told me it was in reference to that. A few weeks later I got a candle, a silver 400 dollar Buddha candle from Thomson Ferrier. I didn’t understand the reference to the Count of Monte Carlo, but it was a beautiful gesture and present… especially because he knew how much little gestures from him mean to me.
Fast forward to January, I got another 350 dollar black skull candle from him, from Thomson Ferrier. At this point I was upset, angry and livid. I called my sister in tears that evening. I had come back to him because he told me he loved me, that he “has a fire that burns so deeply” when he thinks of me. If i had known that wasn’t true, i would have closed the chapter a year and a half ago. I don’t want $700 worth of gifts and candles, I want more. I want marriage, I want children, I want our lives to move forward, I want communication. Out of anger, I packed up the candle, his sweatshirts and clothes that he had left at my place this past year, and mailed them back to his house. I’m sure it’s sitting somewhere in his basement closet/ bedroom… along with his white Huq sweatshirt, a picture of us I had up in my house, and various articles of clothing.
What upsets me is that he didn’t just involve me this year, he involved my family. He sent my mom presents, my parents in return sent him gifts. My sister, parents and cousins messaged him asking him to come around more. There was no point in involving my family, if he was going to involve himself with you. There was no point in involving himself with me, if he was going to involve himself with you. Those leather Indian shoes sitting in his room, my dad bought those for him. That blue sweater, those green pants and that maroon shirt, my parents bought those for him just this last year.
I don’t know what he’s told you about me, but I will say this. I was your age when we started dating. I was 29 years old. He was single, that’s what everyone in our residency program thought. He would tell everyone how Shari left him one day, all of a sudden just got up and left. “I saw the look behind her eyes just change when she looked at me.” He would tell everyone his horrific dating stories. When i started dating him, there was no doubt in my mind he was single… but I was wrong. He wasn’t single, he was dating Devon, one of the nurses from Carilion, and he had been for the past 4 years prior to that. At one point when he moved to Norfolk, she had even moved in with him. Even Shari was visiting him in Norfolk during this time period. I would have never suspected it, nobody in our residency program did. It wasn’t until one day, when he told me his friends were visiting from home, and they were all going to a concert together, that I found out. Her profile picture was of the two of them together, and her Facebook relationship status said “in a relationship.” Out of my own naivety, i believed him when he told me she was crazy and obsessed with him. He told me, to him, they were just friends but she wanted more. Women do a lot of things, but no woman is dumb enough to think she’s your girlfriend when she’s not. When we moved back to our hometowns, Devon was there waiting for him. He disappeared one day for 24 hours, told me that he was helping his dad’s friend who was stranded in NC. A year and a half later, i would find out that was a lie and that he had been at a concert Florida Georgia Line concert with her. She had been visiting his grandmother with him, staying at his parents home. The irony is that a few weeks after he took her, he took me to the same concert in Scranton. Him and his family didn’t bat an eye when a month later, I showed up and was the “new girlfriend.”
Eventually Devon found out about his lies and left him, but again, stupid me thought she was a crazy girl who just wanted so badly to be with him, that she built their relationship up in her head.
Dignity, respect for humans, empathy, are the most important qualities in a human being.
What I don’t wish is for you to be in my spot in 5 years. He will paint you in his colors, make you fall in love with MB20, and take you to Augustana concerts, he’ll tell you that you understand him, and his heart in a way that nobody else does. He’ll bond with you over music, and send you songs that make you feel he’s talking about you. He is so good at making you feel seen, and involving you with his family. He’ll say he had a vision of a girl that looks like you, coming into his life, and here you are, his soul mate. And one day, the same way that Shari, Devon and I got lost in him, the reality of everything will come pouring down on you. Be careful, there are signs between the lines, and the smiles, and good times. Make sure you don’t miss those, whatever you decide.
My relationship with him, started off just like yours. Another girl on the periphery, and teetering the line of inappropriate. Everything you call him out on, will always have an excuse, and you will believe him because he’s the “good guy” who goes above and beyond for people.
I don’t wish for any woman to go through the pain I’ve gone through, the manipulation, the lies and the emotional abuse. I can’t tell you what to do, but I will say, be careful and don’t be blind to the small things that will one day become huge. The novelty will fade, and though Jared isn’t the devil, he has a lot of growing up to do at 40. It was not okay to toy with me and drag me through the mud this year. It wasn’t okay to minimize his relationship with you and lie to me about it. It’s not okay to, to this day claim to see a life with me and not commit to it. I deserve better, and you deserve better.
How men talk about their ex’s and other women is an indication about how they will one day talk about and treat you. That is the worst and best lesson i have learned. I’m 34, years of my life wasted, and he took another year of my life knowing full well, this is how it would end. He’s sat on the phone with me for hours talking about how stupid PA’s are and if you were going to not be a doctor, at least become an NP, who has better bedside knowledge. Why would he say that, because i suppose you’re a PA and it minimizes the significance of even having a relationship with somebody who isn’t as intelligent as he is. The lack of respect will always be there, you just have to look for it.
Dishonesty, and manipulation are a plague, and if that’s who you are at 40, it is who you will always be unless you recognize that something needs to change. Where there is no accountability, there can be no change. I’m not the exception, I’m the same as the two girls before me. He’ll show you text messages where he never responded to me, even though he replies on Snapchat where every thing is erased. I cannot believe i didn’t see the signs. He will make me look crazy and laugh at me, the same way he showed me messages from Jen, and Elisabeth, and Devon, and made them sound crazy to me. I guess that’s his MO. The same way he told me you were nothing to him.
I was going to send you this message, two months ago… i then decided not to because he convinced me he wasn’t dating you… I saw him less than a month ago in Roanoke, i begged him to tell me that he was in a relationship with you. He said he wasn’t, again, he told me he was going to a wedding alone with only Ryan and that he wasn’t taking you. I then begged him to tell me that we were done and that he didn’t love me anymore. His response was idk what’s going to happen a year from now, i know I’ll see you again. His response every time has been when im ready for a relationship, emotionally, do you want me to finally let you know? I don’t care to be with him anymore. I’m so over it but i really think you should know the type of person you’re dealing with.
He has put me through so much hell for a year and a half of my life, stringing me along acting like he’s doing me a favor while he works on his own mental health and claims to still love me when we are together.”
TLDR: my SO’s ex messaged me saying he’s been seeing both of us for the past year and a half. Has anybody experienced this before. She sent me pictures from the past year of them and their text exchanges

Hi all,
My boyfriend and I are planning to visit for about 5 days at the end of the month. We’re from SE NC and will be driving, never have been before. We are a quiet, easygoing and respectful pair. Easy to please, and just enjoy being outdoors. Not looking for anything super hippy-dippy or tons of breweries. One or two breweries would be nice, but lower priority.
My boyfriend broke his ankle 5 months ago and is basically fully recovered, but we’d like to keep our hikes easy to moderate because we haven’t gone on any hikes since he injured himself. We’re early 30s and moderately active, so longer hikes are fine as long as they’re not high intensity.
Aside from hiking or a brewery or two, we’d like to find 1-2 restaurants that won’t break the bank, maybe some swimming, something relaxing outdoors, and well, just about anything else that comes to mind lol.
We won’t be camping, but we’re seeking lodging that will be fairly easy on the wallet as well. Bonus if it’s somewhere with a kitchen/kitchenette so we can spend less on eating out.
An acquaintance recommended staying in a border town in Tennessee for lower prices. She didn’t give a name though. Any ideas here?
Thanks in advance.

His ex sent me this message, should I believe it? I don’t know what to do. Sorry the message is really long!
“It’s been over a year of me wondering whether I should just come out and ask you or message you… but being afraid that if I do, and I’m wrong, it’ll be a the biggest mistake of my life. I have begged and begged him to tell me what you are to him, and he denies having anything more than a platonic friendship with you.
I want to preface this message with, I have no ill will towards you, I just want some answers… answers I don’t believe I’m going to get from Jared. I don’t know if he’s mentioned anything about me. So here goes…
November 2022, I sent Jared an email, telling him I loved him, missed him, and though I didn’t require a response back, I wanted him to know how sorry I was for everything that had happened and things had ended. He responded with a lengthy email telling me he still fervently loved me and how he too was sorry for how things had ended. That email lead to the last year and a half of events.
December 2022, I drove down to Roanoke and surprised him at the Carilion garage. He left the hospital as fast as he could that night, and we spent the rest of that evening together, catching up, and he left for Key West two days later. Two weeks later, he came up to DC and we had a late birthday celebration for him at Clyde’s in Georgetown and went to see A Christmas Carol at the Ford Theater. A few weeks later we drove to Jersey to see Matchbox20, by now it was the end of January 2023. Almost every week off, for the last year, he would come up and see me, if even for only two days, or I would drive down to Roanoke and spend the week with him. We spoke about our past, the hurt, and future, he told me numerous times that when he pictured marriage and children, it was only with me, but he needed time. This part is important, and I’ll come back to it later. We celebrated my birthday at a restaurant in Navy Yard, two weeks before you guys left for London. Chris video chatted with that night while we were at the restaurant eating Wagyu, and they discussed the new shipment of sunglasses Chris had gotten for Miggieswear.
The weekend of the Super Bowl, he had come seen me earlier that week, the day after he left I came to Roanoke and left the day of the Super Bowl. He told me his parents were having a viewing party and he had to go home and cook. I’m now assuming he left my Airbnb and came to your place.
That February he planned a trip to London, with Nicole, Ryan and Chris, and what he told me were, Nicole’s “friends.” Nicole happened to post a picture of you guys sitting on the plane and I was shocked, why would Nicole’s friend be sitting between him and Ryan. I sent him a message while you were on that 6 hour flight, telling him that if he had been seeing somebody, then why didn’t he tell me? There was no point in us spending time together if he had moved on. His response to me was “do you even know what you’re looking at? I’m surprised you don’t recognize her, that’s Nicole’s friend. You’re jumping to a lot of conclusions right now and don’t know what you’re talking about.” Something in my gut didn’t believe it but I wanted to trust that, so I did. I put you out of sight, out of mind. When he got back, he told me how he wished I’d been there with him, we both love history and old buildings, it’s a place we would have found magical together. I don’t know who came up with the idea of going to London, but part of me always thinks I’m the one who put it there when I shared the pictures i had taken when I went there the year we had been no contact.
We went to a Kenny Chesney concert in Charlottesville that March when I got back from my family trip to India, and he got back from London. Between work, us both traveling with our families, we were excited to see one another. We were going to go to St Augustine, but because of the weather, we stayed in Roanoke and saw Kenny Chesney in Charlottesville. The original plan had been to spend the night in Charlottesville at a hotel, but we couldn’t get one last minute so we ended up driving back to Roanoke and sneaking into the basement at his parents house and sleeping in his bed at 3am.
A few months later, we went to Richmond, and stayed the weekend, exploring the city, and watched Hamilton at the Altria Theater. A few months after that, we went to Savannah and Atlanta, where he got a flat tire driving into the garage, and spent the rest of the weekend at a yoga retreat. July, he asked me to go to Boston with him and his brother, for 4th or July weekend, but I couldn’t because my siblings were in town. Every single week, he came down and either stayed with me, or made a quick trip to spend time with me…
This past September, I found out he took you to Justin’s wedding, and I broke. I needed more from him. I have known him, been intimate with him, shared my every fear, worry, I have brought him home cooked meals from DC and surprised him at work with dinner, I’ve made him care packages. I’ve made Ryan Easter baskets and sent him birthday presents and encouraged Jared to put him in academic classes, I’ve helped Jared look into private schools for Ryan, and weighed the pros and cons of the options. I had no expectations in return from him other than, at the very least, a mutual respect and HONESTY.
I’ve seen him quite a few times since September and I last saw him in Roanoke at the beginning of March 2024. We sat in front of each other, in his car before he went into work that Monday night, and he told me, again, that when he thinks of marriage and a future, I’m the only one he pictures a marriage and children with. I’m not saying this to hurt you, or to make a point, I’m saying it because i don’t know what to believe anymore.
I became suspicious of his relationship with you, when he mentioned going to Macchu Picchu and hiking through the mountains. As all women have the ability to find out details they might later regret, I did the same thing. Except I didn’t believe he had actually gone to Macchu Picchu. I knew his passport had been long expired since around or before COVID, and I knew he had renewed it before he went to London. But that was when I realized you were the girl in the photo that Nicole posted. When I confronted him about Macchu Picchu, he told me he had been joking and he had also already told me he’d been joking. He had NEVER told me it was a joke, he had actually refused to show me photos when I asked him for pictures from the trip… he had then proceeded to change the topic, which is what had even raised red flags in my head.
My point is, I have asked him point blank so many times whether you two have a relationship. You tell me you still love me, that you picture marriage and a family with me, but this girl is a part of your life, and you took her to a wedding with you, while I was on a trip with my siblings, you took her to London with you, and you continue to tell me she’s just a friend. I asked him again on Tuesday night/Wednesday Morning after he left work, if you two are dating, and he said no. He asked me why I’m so hyper-fixated on somebody who’s just a friend when he has a million other female friends.
In September, he told me he needed a month to clear his head, that he wanted to commit to me, but he was afraid and that he needed to get over the fear and roadblock of our past break up. I gave him grace and understood. So we took a 4 week break. Some time during that time period, he sent me a snap of doves, and said “doves, and swans mate for life.” He sent me Ed Sheeran songs telling me he wants to find his way back to me. “No Strings Attached… you are the one I love”
In November, he messaged me and told me he had a surprise for me and to look for something in the mail. He loves the Count of Monte Carlo, it’s one of his favorite movies, and he told me it was in reference to that. A few weeks later I got a candle, a silver 400 dollar Buddha candle from Thomson Ferrier. I didn’t understand the reference to the Count of Monte Carlo, but it was a beautiful gesture and present… especially because he knew how much little gestures from him mean to me.
Fast forward to January, I got another 350 dollar black skull candle from him, from Thomson Ferrier. At this point I was upset, angry and livid. I called my sister in tears that evening. I had come back to him because he told me he loved me, that he “has a fire that burns so deeply” when he thinks of me. If i had known that wasn’t true, i would have closed the chapter a year and a half ago. I don’t want $700 worth of gifts and candles, I want more. I want marriage, I want children, I want our lives to move forward, I want communication. Out of anger, I packed up the candle, his sweatshirts and clothes that he had left at my place this past year, and mailed them back to his house. I’m sure it’s sitting somewhere in his basement closet/ bedroom… along with his white Huq sweatshirt, a picture of us I had up in my house, and various articles of clothing.
What upsets me is that he didn’t just involve me this year, he involved my family. He sent my mom presents, my parents in return sent him gifts. My sister, parents and cousins messaged him asking him to come around more. There was no point in involving my family, if he was going to involve himself with you. There was no point in involving himself with me, if he was going to involve himself with you. Those leather Indian shoes sitting in his room, my dad bought those for him. That blue sweater, those green pants and that maroon shirt, my parents bought those for him just this last year.
I don’t know what he’s told you about me, but I will say this. I was your age when we started dating. I was 29 years old. He was single, that’s what everyone in our residency program thought. He would tell everyone how Shari left him one day, all of a sudden just got up and left. “I saw the look behind her eyes just change when she looked at me.” He would tell everyone his horrific dating stories. When i started dating him, there was no doubt in my mind he was single… but I was wrong. He wasn’t single, he was dating Devon, one of the nurses from Carilion, and he had been for the past 4 years prior to that. At one point when he moved to Norfolk, she had even moved in with him. Even Shari was visiting him in Norfolk during this time period. I would have never suspected it, nobody in our residency program did. It wasn’t until one day, when he told me his friends were visiting from home, and they were all going to a concert together, that I found out. Her profile picture was of the two of them together, and her Facebook relationship status said “in a relationship.” Out of my own naivety, i believed him when he told me she was crazy and obsessed with him. He told me, to him, they were just friends but she wanted more. Women do a lot of things, but no woman is dumb enough to think she’s your girlfriend when she’s not. When we moved back to our hometowns, Devon was there waiting for him. He disappeared one day for 24 hours, told me that he was helping his dad’s friend who was stranded in NC. A year and a half later, i would find out that was a lie and that he had been at a concert Florida Georgia Line concert with her. She had been visiting his grandmother with him, staying at his parents home. The irony is that a few weeks after he took her, he took me to the same concert in Scranton. Him and his family didn’t bat an eye when a month later, I showed up and was the “new girlfriend.”
Eventually Devon found out about his lies and left him, but again, stupid me thought she was a crazy girl who just wanted so badly to be with him, that she built their relationship up in her head.
Dignity, respect for humans, empathy, are the most important qualities in a human being.
What I don’t wish is for you to be in my spot in 5 years. He will paint you in his colors, make you fall in love with MB20, and take you to Augustana concerts, he’ll tell you that you understand him, and his heart in a way that nobody else does. He’ll bond with you over music, and send you songs that make you feel he’s talking about you. He is so good at making you feel seen, and involving you with his family. He’ll say he had a vision of a girl that looks like you, coming into his life, and here you are, his soul mate. And one day, the same way that Shari, Devon and I got lost in him, the reality of everything will come pouring down on you. Be careful, there are signs between the lines, and the smiles, and good times. Make sure you don’t miss those, whatever you decide.
My relationship with him, started off just like yours. Another girl on the periphery, and teetering the line of inappropriate. Everything you call him out on, will always have an excuse, and you will believe him because he’s the “good guy” who goes above and beyond for people.
I don’t wish for any woman to go through the pain I’ve gone through, the manipulation, the lies and the emotional abuse. I can’t tell you what to do, but I will say, be careful and don’t be blind to the small things that will one day become huge. The novelty will fade, and though Jared isn’t the devil, he has a lot of growing up to do at 40. It was not okay to toy with me and drag me through the mud this year. It wasn’t okay to minimize his relationship with you and lie to me about it. It’s not okay to, to this day claim to see a life with me and not commit to it. I deserve better, and you deserve better.
How men talk about their ex’s and other women is an indication about how they will one day talk about and treat you. That is the worst and best lesson i have learned. I’m 34, years of my life wasted, and he took another year of my life knowing full well, this is how it would end. He’s sat on the phone with me for hours talking about how stupid PA’s are and if you were going to not be a doctor, at least become an NP, who has better bedside knowledge. Why would he say that, because i suppose you’re a PA and it minimizes the significance of even having a relationship with somebody who isn’t as intelligent as he is. The lack of respect will always be there, you just have to look for it.
Dishonesty, and manipulation are a plague, and if that’s who you are at 40, it is who you will always be unless you recognize that something needs to change. Where there is no accountability, there can be no change. I’m not the exception, I’m the same as the two girls before me. He’ll show you text messages where he never responded to me, even though he replies on Snapchat where every thing is erased. I cannot believe i didn’t see the signs. He will make me look crazy and laugh at me, the same way he showed me messages from Jen, and Elisabeth, and Devon, and made them sound crazy to me. I guess that’s his MO. The same way he told me you were nothing to him.
I was going to send you this message, two months ago… i then decided not to because he convinced me he wasn’t dating you… I saw him less than a month ago in Roanoke, i begged him to tell me that he was in a relationship with you. He said he wasn’t, again, he told me he was going to a wedding alone with only Ryan and that he wasn’t taking you. I then begged him to tell me that we were done and that he didn’t love me anymore. His response was idk what’s going to happen a year from now, i know I’ll see you again. His response every time has been when im ready for a relationship, emotionally, do you want me to finally let you know? I don’t care to be with him anymore. I’m so over it but i really think you should know the type of person you’re dealing with.
He has put me through so much hell for a year and a half of my life, stringing me along acting like he’s doing me a favor while he works on his own mental health and claims to still love me when we are together.”

Hi mga bebs, im 28 yrs old and Trans. I just wanted to ask if open and accepting na ba ang Restaurants or Hotels when it comes to Transgenders like me. I dont mind naman wearing anything when I need to wear a uniform. I just dont wanted to cut my hair since I look somehow feminine nadin. Recommendations where I can apply for Food and Bevarage attendant or waiter. I recently got my NC II certificate in Tesda Food and Beverage services and im college graduate din po.
TIA

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The Short Version can be found here.

Part 1 can be found here.

Example 5 - There's more to a BBC YouTube title

Returning to this dastardly subreddit, for my next example, points 1, 2, 3, 4, and 6 are relevant. OP provided a screenshot of a BBC YouTube title, stating: "Israeli hit squad dressed as doctors kill Palestinians in hospital." Per point 2, by failing to immediately link to the video, or immediately mention what the video contains, folk could come away with the conclusion that the BBC never reports that these were militants. In other words, some might believe that the misreporting here extends past the video title, when it does not, and this could be avoided by providing salient details sooner rather than later. This submission was made during the temporary ban, and I thought it was interesting enough as a case study to come back to.

Example 6 - Oxfam's full position

For this submission/meme, points 1, 2, and 6 are relevant. I saw that we weren’t going to get good-faith engagement with the entirety of Oxfam’s position here on why they initially opposed airdrops, and I attempted to outline the full extent of their views so that it can be critiqued appropriately. This meme is not too dissimilar from some Twitter leftist fixating on one short clip of Destiny during one of his heated gamer moments; his actual positions aren’t being engaged with, and it’s intellectually dull. There’s more to Destiny’s positions than a twenty-second clip; there’s more to Oxfam’s position than the one tweet. The fact of the matter is that there’s a long series of tweets here, and while the tweet OP chose to highlight is risible, is dumb, and is insufferable, we are more than capable on this subreddit in being more nuanced and fair when it comes to our criticism.
As I highlight, there were some concerns here that were not entirely unreasonable. At the time of my comment, there weren’t yet any reports on injuries due to airdrops. These reports appeared in the following days and weeks, where Gazans were killed when a parachute in an airdrop failed to deploy, and some drowned in their attempts to retrieve parcels that landed in the sea. Retrospectively, I wouldn't say that aid should not have been airdropped merely because it would result in these deaths, but a fair assessment of Oxfam here at the time should have taken these concerns into account.
Oxfam’s associate director also endorses a Twitter thread where some prescriptions are given on how ought this aid delivery be facilitated. He recommends that the Gaza port be reopened, and to open more crossings. The Biden administration recognized that airdrops would not sufficiently alleviate the problem of being unable to get sufficient quantities of aid distributed, and while the port was not reopened, Biden did announce that a temporary port would be built. Further, Israel approved the reopening of the Erez crossing.
The misinformation in OP’s post stems from the fact that folk will be disinterested in reading the twitter thread or any additional threads where they might have elaborated on views. Out of the thousands that interact with the post, a significant chunk will come away with the incorrect belief that Oxfam’s opposition to airdrops was merely due to what was stated in the meme. That is misinformation being propagated — not the most egregious, Hamas-esqe level of misinformation in the world, but misinformation nonetheless.

Example 7 - NYT: Bananas, or Cool as a Cucumber?

For our final example points 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 are relevant; it’s the whole shebang. To give a quick recounting here, Hobbitfollower isn’t the only masochist that might, occasionally, choose to exclusively sort by new. When I saw the submission, I read the article, and I was a bit annoyed that the Jerusalem Post article doesn’t even link to the mission report that I was interested in reading. I searched for it, posted a link to the report in the very first comment of the thread as surely my fellow dggas would also like to read the report, and then I, well, read the report.
When I returned back to the thread, I quoted favourably from the mission report to support another individual's comment. (I would again quote from it in another thread the next day to highlight why Israel struggled to acquire forensic evidence.)
But as I scrolled down the thread I came across the subject of our example; 50 upvotes, no article linked, and clearly a charged comment. Consider the steps involved to truly engage with this comment; one would need to:

• Click and read the article.
• Search for the mission report.
• Read the mission report (as some folk probably won’t wanna read 20 pages right off the bat).
• Search for the NYT article; bypass the paywall (which is trivially easy nowadays but is still a barrier, and people are lazy); and read the article.

This is a very charged thread: there are going to be a large group of pro-Israel folk browsing this thread, frustrated and irate as bad memories are invoked of all the times they’ve had to deal with or seen pro-Hamas folk engaging in rape denialism. In much the same way a leftist sub is not going to be interested in a dispassionate analysis of an Israeli strike with high civilian collateral damage, this sub — at times — will struggle to calmly assess the subject matter. An expected behaviour isn’t necessarily the correct behaviour — the actions we believe one ought to take.
When a misleading tweet goes viral, the damage has already been done, as a considerable amount of people won’t see the subsequent Community Notes that might be slapped on it. Likewise, some of the thousands who see OP’s highly upvoted comment will think, “Oh, this has a lot of upvotes, I guess it must be true. How horrible of the NYT to frame this as a both sides issue”, and thus misinformation has spread. This incorrect belief will mold their perceptions of the NYT. When they encounter more reporting by the NYT on I-P in the future, they might even think back to this moment: “Ah, I remember when these bozos tried to say that the Israeli accusations were the same as the Palestinian accusations.”
I also referred to OP’s comment as disinformation. In every example discussed so far, I don't assume malicious intent. I just begin with the foundation that a mistake was made, and I don’t enmesh myself by throwing out accusations of lying. In this case, however, OP has indirectly acknowledged that I was correct, but they still haven’t bothered to edit their original comment. Once again, this comment is a really good example of point 1. I obviously also disagree with their conclusion, and the process by which they’re arriving at their conclusion is still very flawed — and other people are simply going to adopt their conclusion while not even attempting to reach there by their own independent assessment. If you see someone quote from an article, and they don’t even link it, and the comment is very charged, I would encourage y’all to seek out the article yourself; you may come away with a different interpretation.
I'm sure you've seen this meme before: "I'm just waiting for Destiny to comment on this so that I know what to think 😎." We meme about it, but there is, of course, an undercurrent of truth here, as we have confidence in Destiny's ability to research, and thus we feel comfortable adopting his beliefs and opinions. It's nice not having to do the research ourselves. Lazy fucks.
This applies to Reddit comments you see as well. Don't just adopt the conclusion of someone else because their beliefs align with yours and they're speaking with authority. Do the legwork yourself; be mindful of The Six Points; and you might find that someone on your own side is actually spreading misinformation, or is espousing an opinion that you disagree with.

Purgatory

I was perma-banned some time after my previous comment for a comment I made in a different thread. Before I get to that in the next fuck-me-who-knows-how-I'm-gonna-write-that-I'm-so-fucked section, I did want to bring up two final examples.

Example A - Haaretz and Amputations

For Example A, points 1, 3, 4, and 5 are relevant. Obviously, I can’t attempt point 6 because I was banned. Now, I actually agree with OP as I share their skepticism towards the notion that these amputations are “routine”, but referring to the article as a "fake story" is too strong, and, as always, their process here is flawed. The claims they make here about the Haaretz article and CNN article are misleading, but it is immediately upvoted because it feels right, particularly because the first reply just poisons the well. Haaretz did not speak to an anonymous person, they are reporting on a letter they have seen written by a doctor and sent to senior Israeli officials; the doctor did not justify the claim that the event is routine based on having seen only two amputations, that's merely the amputations they saw in the week they wrote the letter (but the phrasing here is ambiguous, as the doctor could be referring to the handcuff injuries as being the "routine" event); and the IDF did not confirm or deny all the claims, but gave a fairly standard, boilerplate response instead. The misleading claims in this comment was eventually addressed — and, as I’m sure you’re irritated by the repetition by now, the goal of this post is to turn this “eventually” into an “immediately.”

Example B - Wikipedia and Devious Editing

For Example B, points 1 and 5 are relevant. I want to be very careful with this one as I don't want to be misconstrued. Similar to the previous example, I mostly agree with their conclusion that these Wikipedia pages can be very flawed, and partisan editors can tarnish the objectivity that we wish could be maintained across all articles. However, you know the drill by now, point 1. There’s much to be said about the infamous “24-hour window” debacle, and I made a submission a while ago on this. I think there are parts of this story that both the pro-Palestine and pro-Israel crowd get wrong — but the latter is generally more correct, and I would agree with OP here that the information here is, at the very least, incomplete.
However, per point 5, the articles they are critiquing are not linked. How many people here actually sought out the two articles referenced here? As I’ve already demonstrated, we know how many misleading or false claims you can get away with before they’re finally addressed. A user in that thread made some edits to the contentious lines in question in the Wikipedia article. This was the Wikipedia article at the time OP’s comment was made. OP quotes this section:

Prior to the raids, Israel had called for the more than a million people living in the north half of the Gaza Strip to evacuate during a 24-hour window, while Hamas instructed those residents to stay put.

The two citations here are a Reuters article and a Politico article. The Politico article is arguably redundant, but it’s not being cited because it’s supposed to make a statement about a 24-hour window; it’s being cited to support the statement about Hamas:

Hamas is complicating the situation, urging residents to stay in their homes.

The Reuters article also mentions this:

“We tell the people of northern Gaza and from Gaza City, stay put in your homes, and your places," Eyad Al-Bozom, spokesman for the Hamas Interior Ministry, told a news conference.

Contrary to what OP said, both articles use the word “evacuation” at some point. The first part of the quote from the Wikipedia page is supported by this statement in the Reuters article:

On Friday Israel gave more than a million residents of the northern half of Gaza 24 hours to flee to the south to avoid an onslaught.

In a follow-up comment OP claims that the archived link, which pulled the earliest version of the Reuters article available, does not support the line. This seems to have been an error on the part of whoever chose this hyperlink. When the Wikipedia article first mentions calls for evacuation, this was how the Reuters article cited looked like at the time; regardless of the veracity of the claim, the article did support what the Wikipedia page mentions.
To reiterate, OP is completely correct about this pernicious problem with Wikipedia. It’s just that in this example, I don’t think it qualifies as a case of those darn pro-Palestine editors back at it again. The nuanced position here is pretty difficult to get to, and I don’t think the editors wrote this line in the interest of distorting the truth to serve their own side.

Example B.5: A better yet slightly flawed post on Wikipedia and Euro-Med Monitor

This post about how Hamas supporters are influencing Wikipedia does better in terms of substantiating their claims — but there are issues here that I would have loved to address, and there is a good critique on OP’s prescriptions that was buried at the bottom. Unfortunately, OP has been suspended from Reddit. If you’re reading this mate, call me 🥺.
There are a lot of hyperlinks in OP’s post (lol, sez fucking me), and it’s completely reasonable that someone won’t feel inclined to click every single one; that’s not an expectation I would ever demand. From going through the post, there are several small critiques I would have made (e.g., while I don’t believe the Mondo article should have been cited, OP claims that in the article, “The only people criticizing Wiesel here is the author of the opinion piece.” FWIW, the article does reference and cite a Haaretz article, and a Foreign policy article, both of which levy criticism against Wiesel), but I’m just going to focus on this line:

In fact, it is owned by a man named Ramy Abdu, who is a literal Hamas lobbyist.

If you’re going to call someone a literal Hamas lobbyist, that is definitely a link I’m clicking. What I know about Abdu is simply what I can assume about his beliefs from various tweets I’ve seen by him over the past several months; but I’ve never looked into their background other than being aware of their position at EMM. Upon opening the link I see… a 2013 article about Clare Short. From reading the article, it looks like OP missed some steps in outlining how they arrived at their conclusion, and I saw only a few people inquiring about this. To fill in the steps on what I presume OP wanted to say, from the article they linked:

Moshe Ya’alon, former IDF chief of staff, outlawed the Council for European Palestinian Relations (CEPR) – a Belgian non-profit organisation that lobbies on behalf of the Hamas-led Gaza Government – using emergency defence regulations.

I haven’t looked into CEPR, and they obviously disputed the lobbying charge; I’m just going to take the claim at face-value. In 2011, Abdu was assistant director of the CEPR, and still held a position there for several years. They've since left the organization, but per point 1, if this is how OP arrived at the conclusion that Abdu is a “literal Hamas lobbyist”, I think it could use a bit more work, with additional clarification on what they mean by lobbyist here. I’m sure they can do it, it just happened to not be in this post.
I'm not going to harp on about point 5 here as I only apply that to incidents where a claim is made; one or two articles are linked; and then no one reads them, assuming the claim must be true as long as articles are provided. I would literally never make the prescription that if someone writes an effort-post, we must click every hyperlink to fact-check. I mean, it's not like I would have any other motivation for saying that... sweats profusely 🙄
Just to make one final point on EMM, it is a rubbish outlet, and any time I encounter one of their articles, I roll my eyes knowing I’m going to get some outlandish claim where I can find fuck-all for corroboration from other outlets. However, sometimes there is corroboration, where EMM was the first to notice that the IDF labelled a bicycle as an RPG in the drone footage they published, and then the NYT confirmed the finding (except for the other stupid claim made in the tweet.) But anyways, these moments are astronomically rare.

Example C - A Mysterious Royal Website (What a weaselly little --)

Okay, I lied, one final example as it’s interesting to see how people here parse articles and headlines, but before I address the example, let me talk about Reuters headlines.

Reuters headlines

They’re not always consistent on this front, but I generally like how Reuters writes their headlines. A Reuters headline will often contain the phrase “US says”. [30] [31] [32] What I’m expecting in the article when I see a headline containing this phrase is some official representing the Biden administration outlining what their particular policy, position, belief, etc., is on whatever the subject matter may be, or some action they took which makes it clear what their position is. In the given examples, we have statements from Biden, Blinken, the US military, and so on. Sometimes the US officials remain anonymous, sharing information in private briefings.
If there isn’t an official statement by the US available on a matter, the headline might use the phrase “source says” to talk about ongoing developments. [33] [34] “Reuters will use unnamed sources where necessary when they provide information of market or public interest that is not available on the record. We alone are responsible for the accuracy of such information.” [35]
Relevant to Example C, Reuters uses the same guidelines for “Saudi Arabia says” [36] [37] and “sources say” for information relevant to Saudi Arabia. [38]

Israeli outlets, A royal family website, and Saudi sources: An amusing chain of events

Keeping the previous section in mind, when I came across this version of a Jerusalem Post article posted to this subreddit, you can imagine what I’m expecting here — particularly because this would be momentous news to see Saudi Arabia make a public statement that they helped defend Israel. Instead, we get reporting on what Saudi Arabia’s royal family said on their website, and what a source connected to the Saudi royal family told KAN, another Israeli outlet — and we don’t get links to either of them. If there was no statement on the royal family’s website, this would have been a bad headline to write based on what this source said. Unfortunately for the JP, there is no official website for Saudi Arabia’s royal family. You’ll see in the current version, they remove the reference to that website, and also add the following line:

The Al Arabiya news site said sources had informed it that Saudi Arabia had not participated in the interception of Iranian drones and missiles.

Here’s the article by the Saudi state-owned outlet, which is essentially their mouthpiece to deny the ongoing report. I24news, however, didn’t get the memo:

Saudi Arabia publicly acknowledges role in defending Israel against Iranian attack
While Jordan had openly disclosed its role in the defensive maneuver, Saudi Arabia's acknowledgment came in the form of a summary on its official website

When I first saw the JP submission on this subreddit, I bookmarked it for later to come back to and find the sources, as it’s not the first time I’ve seen dubious reporting from KAN news. I was also curious if anyone in the thread was going to highlight some of the discrepancies in the article, and, well, shoutout to this keen reader! Fact-checking the JP article slipped my mind, but thanks to a comment I saw on another subreddit, they correctly pointed out that the website referenced was not affiliated with the Saudi royal family, and thus the article the JP and other Israeli outlets had presumably read should not have been taken as an official statement. Christ, this is obvious from the very first line:

A source from the Saudi royal family, who prefers anonymity, converses with the Kan public broadcaster. The individual subtly acknowledges Saudi Arabia’s supposed involvement in thwarting Iranian attack drones bound for Israel the previous evening, citing that Saudi Arabian airspace automatically intercepts “any suspicious entity”.
The same figure takes a swing at Iran, accusing them of instigating a conflict in Gaza. This, they suggest, is a deliberate attempt to unravel the progress established towards normalizing relations with Israel, as per Kan’s report.
In the words of the official, as put forth by Kan, “Iran is a nation that endorses terrorism, and the world should have curtailed it much earlier.”

Why would the official Saudi royal website use an anonymous source within the royal family to make their public announcement, and why would they quote what the official said to an Israeli outlet?!
It’s fascinating to see this play out: the supposed source spoke to Kan News; Houseofsaud presumably sees this and makes an article on the Kan segment; the JP sees this article and the segment, poorly reads it, and then cites it and the original Kan segment; outlets like the Daily Wire pick up on the story from the JP; and then on it goes, spreading like wildefire, before the Saudis take note (“oh fuck, oh fuck, where are these reports coming from?”) and disseminate a message denying that any “official” website publicly confirmed their involvement. The Saudis are involved, and they’re keeping tight-lipped about the extent of their involvement.
Just to quote one more line from the i24news article because it’s shockingly poor:

The post subtly hinted at Saudi Arabia's involvement in intercepting suspicious entities in its airspace, highlighting the kingdom's proactive stance in safeguarding regional stability.

This is written based on this line from the HouseofSaud article:

A source from the Saudi royal family, who prefers anonymity, converses with the Kan public broadcaster. The individual subtly acknowledges Saudi Arabia’s supposed involvement in thwarting Iranian attack drones bound for Israel the previous evening, citing that Saudi Arabian airspace automatically intercepts “any suspicious entity”.

It’s the individual/source who is being subtle, not the post itself as i24 news mentions.
Anyways, this is not a case of misinformation by the subreddit. There's nothing wrong with posting a JP article, and this is easily the least offensive Example, but point 5 is nicely relevant here. I thought y'all might find this to be interesting, particularly because some people probably still believe that Saudi Arabia has publicly acknowledged their involvement, and maybe that could be someone reading this section. It's also another example where, because I’m banned, I can’t offer a bit of nuance. stares intently at 4THOT
It’s a shame Destiny didn’t finish reading the article, I’m curious what he would have said. He speculates that the report was from intelligence or monitoring, but moves on before finishing the article; it’s also the updated version of the article, without the tidbit about the Saudi royal family website.

Finito

I'm going to close out this section here. There's always more to include, more examples that demonstrate the aforementioned points, but I'd rather focus on my own comments instead of threads where I was unable to contribute my thoughts. There's been a plethora of discourse here surrounding the campus protests, and maybe those are still ongoing if I manage to post this at a sooner date. For completely legitimate and fair justifications, all of these threads are going to be very charged; and maybe upon reading this post some of y'all might feel more inclined to analyze these situations dispassionately, mindful of cases where the reporting might not be the greatest.

Example D - A Late Fact-check (Still lying, dude!)

I fucking lied again, there’s more. Literally the day after I finished writing the above paragraph, a new example popped up that I can’t resist the temptation to include. Stop giving me material! As I spoke of above, the campus protests have resulted in a charged atmosphere on the subreddit, which means that this post stating that a “Jewish-Israeli family’s restaurant was targeted in a hate crime” is immediately catapulted to the front page. The biggest problem here is that, per point 2, the presentation of the post led folk to believe that this was a recent event because OP had omitted the date this took place, and this led to one user to thoughtfully suggest that it might be worth setting up a GoFundMe to help the owners with the repairs.
To reemphasize the point I’ve made throughout this post, I’m looking to incentivise better behaviour to occur sooner. It took nearly 10 hours before one jolly chap came along to do the fact-check. Naturally, had I seen this post while browsing arnew, I would have done the same, and so would a couple other users here as well who are good for this sort of thing — and that's unfortunate that I’m saying a “couple” instead of “many.” There is no curiosity amongst everyone who interacted with this post to inquire into the event; not even something simple as requesting OP for an article. So folks, always ask for a source if OP doesn’t provide one just so you have a bit more context. (Also, I am fascinated with the anecdote OP attached to this post. Did they just make up their credentials?)

Example E - Hebrew Sources and False Confidence

This is a wonderful example to close out this section because it exemplifies so many of the problematic behaviours that I have demonstrated in this post. I was only made aware of this thread because a user here DM'd me a link to the thread. I will refer to the individual posting misinformation in the comments as "OP", and I'll refer to the submitter of the post by their username, Sylmd. The rebuttals to OP are excellent, and I will focus more on the behaviour here.
Sylmd posted a submission doing a quick lil' fact-check on a Destiny tweet, noting the fact that he seemed to have misread or misremembered a particular report. I say "seemed" here in case Destiny was referring to some other report or article he had read, but that seems unlikely as he has referenced this report in several of his debates, and the report was the subject of his previous tweets. Regardless, it was a small mistake, and apart from failing to immediately link the tweet and the report (link your sources you silly goose), Sylmd's post is civil, calm, and makes no accusations of malicious intent.
According to OP, Destiny was actually right, and 300+ IDF soldiers were in fact injured. Now, there's so much that is astonishingly problematic with OP's comment, and I gotta... mention it all! Sorry!
Naturally, they don't ever quote from their sources, which means it's on us to try and find the relevant sections. OP claims that the articles linked will demonstrate that 380 Israelis were injured -- despite the fact that Sylmd is obviously doing a fact-check on how many Israeli soldiers were injured, and that's literally the subject of Destiny's tweet.
Whatever, I'm sure the articles at least "discusses around 380 injuries"? Fuck no they don't! There's no mention of this figure anywhere, and OP somehow racks up 50 upvotes when they accuse Sylmd of lying after they correctly point this out. Did these people actually read the articles, find this magical 380 figure, and think, "Grrr, Sylmd you mendacious scumbag, I see through your Hamas propaganda." Sylmd was sitting at -31, one hour after the thread was made. (If you refer back to Example 2, you'll see that I felt compelled to make a submission when I saw a user was being downvoted for correctly pointing out that an article did not prove a particular claim.)
It gets worse. Apparently, you have to "click through all the links in these articles buddy." Well, okay, that's pretty elaborate, how silly of us not to realize this. OP wants us to open up nine Hebrew articles, translate them, and then tally up the number of casualties. Problem? Surely we get to the 380 figure if we click through all the hyperlinks in the article? Fuck no we don't! And even if we did, this is the most blisteringly cumbersome way to prove a claim. The sheer condescension in OP's comment is equivalent to that of a Twitter leftist: "It's not my job to educate you honey, you must read the literature."
So where does this mysterious figure come from? Well, as Sylmd correctly pointed out (before OP mentioned it), they are grabbing this figure from Hebrew Wikipedia. Sylmd doesn't provide a link to the article in question, so I will provide it here, and as you can see, the two articles that OP linked came from this Wikipedia page. I'm not convinced OP actually read either of these articles.
That's not all. They then linked a report in Hebrew in their edit. Where did they get this report from? It's not on the Wikipedia page, maybe this is something they have bookmarked? Nope, they got it from another user in the thread! After all is said and done, they still somehow racked up 270 upvotes for this awful rebuttal, and they were, "Proud to take a blast for defending the truth."
Do I even need to mention the points here? It's an authoritative comment; the linked articles give an "aura" of being correct; and there's confidence in all their comments.
To quote from Example 1:

Anyways, since I began this post it looks like the upvotes and downvotes on the original comment have since shifted. Mashallah. It's the behaviour I was describing before: all the low-effort garbage gets upvoted first, and then other people break the circlejerk and try to add nuance. But it would be nice if the nuance was added first and foremost without the need for tedious fact-checks.

That still holds true today.

Consistency and Principles

Do I only address misinformation from the pro-Israel side? Not that it should matter, but no, I will address misinformation from the pro-Palestine on this subreddit if I see it and I feel like addressing it. I was irritated to see muppets like Rob Rousseau spread conspiracies about a "suspicious link" between ISIS and Mossad, and I encountered a user here who was sprouting similar conspiratorial nonsense. You’ll notice that (1) I was blessed to be called a “Reddit pseudo intellectual libtard” (not wrong, not false, this hurts bro); and (2) I apply the exact same methodology here as I do for the examples of misinformation I've addressed elsewhere — which isn’t to say I’m doing anything commendable here. I just read the articles, trying to find the primary sources where relevant, and then see if the “reporting” accurately conveys what was said or written.
However, digging up the original source can be a time-consuming endeavour, and compounded by the fact that I might not speak the relevant language — which means that there was a case where I inadvertently made a comment containing misinformation. A couple months ago someone requested a steelman of the argument that Israel is conducting a genocide against Gazans; I offered one, and to support the case I used a misquote taken from a Bloomberg video which omitted a crucial part of Yoev Gallant’s statement: the reference to Hamas, and thus radically changing the context of the statement. I hold myself to the same principle when it comes to curbing misinformation, and I was more than content to edit my comment to ensure it did not propagate further than it already had.
Some of you eagle-eyed readers might recognize this Gallant quote, as it made a very marked appearance within… South Africa's genocide case against Israel. Here, that salient reference to Hamas is also omitted, and the accompanying footnote cites the same Bloomberg video that I did. As I wished in another reply, Bloomberg did indeed take the video down eventually. Now, I can be excused for my mistake as I’m not making the positive case outside of my steelman. For South Africa, this is unbelievably shoddy work when you're officially bringing a genocide case against another state.
Anyways, I've gone through many examples in this schizo-post, and it's entirely possible that I've made an error at some point; the irony is not lost on me. Feel free to point these errors out. I might not agree with your assessment, but I'm always willing to hear the arguments.

Prescriptions: The Six Points (Déjà vu)

I'm going to end with The Six Points because that's the focus of Part 1 and Part 2. As previously mentioned, this post is not intended to demonstrate that the misinformation the pro-Israel crowd spreads is as egregious as the misinformation the pro-Palestine spreads, whether in general or on this subreddit. While misinformation from the pro-Palestine crowd slips by every now and then on the subreddit, I would make the case that, generally speaking, it is quickly addressed. In my experience, however, I was finding quite a few cases of misinformation from the pro-Israel crowd were taking a concerning amount of time to be addressed; and in the interest of ensuring that it does get addressed in a more timely manner, I believe the following prescriptions would be helpful to keep in mind when browsing the subreddit:

1. Value the process just as much — if not, more — than the conclusion.
2. Be wary of how the presentation of information or the omission of pertinent information can lead to the inadvertent spread of misinformation.
3. Be aware of how “charged” topics/threads lead to poor reasoning that lacks dispassionate analysis.
4. Be aware of how pre-existing beliefs about an individual or organization alongside the usual biases leads to a reluctance to fact-check, where claims are taken at face-value because they feel right.
5. Link the article. Read the article. (Thoroughly.)
6. Redirect criticism to areas where it will be the strongest.

Click here for Part 3. Warning: you might get stung by a bee 🐝

I hate my birthday. My narc parents/family have made me hate it because every year they do something horrible ruin it.
My dad makes a running joke each year of forgetting the date, or will normally be applying silent treatment. This has been the same for years. He's either playing the hero father (despite being aware my stepdad was abusing me and do nothing about it and telling me it's my fault) or ignoring me. All of my family use silent treatment and they don't break it for birthdays, however if you miss there's and don't get a card/present despite being in silent treatment mode, you get berated for it. This includes days like Christmas, mother's day and father's day.
I spent many birthdays lonely due to silent treatment. I stopped throwing parties by my 20s because when friends didn't show (I always had friends there but drop outs always happen as people have lives etc) it triggered me from my childhood birthdays. The one where my parents where around, it was often filled with hate, berating etc. we'd go to their favourite restaurant, or somehow we'd have an out of control argument that would result in telling me they regret the day I was born or trying to push me down the stairs. It was always on my birthday.
Last year was my 30th and I was nearly NC at this point. My mum sent a card and money, but someone had ripped the card open and took the money. My mum gave me the battered up card anyway and then tried to refuse to send the birthday money, and berated me for making a big deal about it and playing the victim. I'm not sure if this was planned or she was covering up for my stepdad or gold child brother who both were known for stealing things. I'm NC with them all now, with the final decision being that they none of them showed in hospital when I was critically bleeding out post op. my dad's been texting consistently to try to find my address. I want to throw my phone into the river and disappear for the entire week leading up to my birthday. I want to scream go away!
I've decided to go away this year with my boyfriend despite my post op mobility to a surf location with log fires, limited signal, and turn my phone off the entire weekend. To me, the only way to escape them this year is to just not be around. I hate that I feel this way about my birthday but I'm sure others on here can relate to the long process it takes to start feeling okay about it again.

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To preface quickly, about 3 years ago I (27m) was eating at a fast food place with my cousin (31m), we ordered food and he asked me for a fry and I said no since he had his own. I'm not kidding when I say this guy starts SCREAMING in the restaurant flipping out because I didn't give him one of my fries (it was completely normal and chill up to this point) - everyone is looking at us and he starts insulting me and my mom and says if I get in his car he's gonna beat me up - literally leaving me stranded 40 minutes away from my home and making me pay $50 for an uber. After this his parents (my aunt & uncle) tell me I SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO HIM and it's not a big deal that he did what he did. Since then I decided to go NC with that side of my family which is I feel is justified.
Btw the random fits of rage are a normal occurrence with him since he was a kid but because his parents coddle him his anger problems have never been resolved. I just never expected it to be directed towards me since we're not really that close.
Fast forward to now and unfortunately my dad has cancer that was discovered too late. He wants me to come over for family get-togethers but I refused and told him I won't until they all apologize. Tbh from my perspective even giving my cousin the opportunity to apologize is giving him more grace than he deserves because it was truly unhinged behavior. My dad knows about the whole situation but also doesn't really care that much about it. It leaves me incredibly conflicted because I want him to see the family together and happy before he passes but the situation that I talked about previously in my post is totally unacceptable to me. Even now that whole side of the family just wants me to get over it and move on with no apology or anything. It genuinely hurts me and conflicts me to refuse my dad at a time like this but I don't know what I'm supposed to do, AITAH?

TLDR: My dad invited my thieving sister to Mother's day dinner and if she shows up I am leaving the restaurant. WIBTAH?
This will be a bit long but context is truly needed! I (26f) made reservations last week at a very nice restaurant for my mom, grandma, and eldest sister. However, my dad took it upon himself to invite my other sister (33f). HE DID NOT TELL ME HE WAS INVITING HER, I was told by my cousin who just recently started speaking to her again.
Back story: me and my sister used to be roommates. Due to losing my job in 2020, i had to move in and sublet her apartment. Back in 2021, when we were still living together, she had gotten a 2nd car and offered me her old car in exchange that I take over the car payments (I gave the money to her). I didn't have this arrangement in writing because I stupidly thought I could trust my sister. Winter 2021, my sister came to me and asked if her jobless friend could move in "to help with bills", this would mean she would take my room, I would move into my sisters room to SHARE, and we would have to get rid of our pets.
I explained that that arrangement wouldn't make sense because we are two grown women, we don't need to share a room. She had only know her friend for 3 months so I was still not comfortable with her, our pets were all elderly (8+), and I made more than my sister so bills were not a problem for me. I suggested she wait until the lease was up in the Fall of 2022, by that time I would be better financially stable and we could go our separate ways. She did not like that answer.
Spring of 2022 SHE KICKED ME OUT! She threw out all of my furniture that I had bought years ago and brought to her apartment, she gave away our dog and they family that took him PUT HIM DOWN because she lied about his age (he was 9), and because I had to move in with my parents, I had to give away our cats. Throughout all of this, I was still paying for the car.
After I fully moved out, she informed me that I had accumulated latest fees on the car because I "never paid her on time" so I had to paid an extra $195 a month. FUN FACT: She never gave me the login to pay the car myself so I never knew when the payment was due. I just paid her with my first paycheck of the month since the 2nd paycheck was for rent! So being a little confused, I asked her if she could give me the login information for the car note so I could track how much until it was paid off, she then snapped at me, staing that it was her personal information and she didn't have to give it to me, and if I asked her again she will just take the car for "invasion of privacy".
Summer 2021, I was cleaning out the car and I found an old statement for the car, which peaked me curiosity. I called the number on the statement and found out that there was no late fees! That crook was lying about late fees and pocketing my money! I was livid! I got the entire family involved but because was was the golden child everyone stayed neutral. I confronted her again and demanded she pay me back but she simply came over and took the car. We have been NC since.
I fucking hate her. She literally hurt me to my core! A week after we went NC she posted a picture with her new friend calling her, her "real sister". She was my best friend! I'm not sure she is coming or not but if she does I absolutely do not want to be in the same room with her, but I don't want to take away from celebrating the moms in my family. WBITAH if I leave if she shows up?