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So I am wondering is it ok for a 13 and 15 year old to date? I am a teenager myself and at my school there is a girl(f 13) who dates a 15 year old guy. The problem is that I knew both of them before they started dating and I see and the impact on her, for example: she tries to be more mature by getting her nails done, using make up (which i think is a bit early) and she is more often using her phone, always texting someone. On top of that she gets really upset when someone asks about their relationship, which could be because its a bit embarrassing ig.. I heard her other friends talk about them arguing and having fights and her calling in the middle of the night to vent. On the other hand she still has a huge friend group and her bf is just a normal guy, pretty mature but all of this makes him look irresponsable tbh. Today I approached her and asked her if she is ok, of course she said she was, but I just dont think it is. I said she should talk to someone if somethings feels off and I hope this Idiot wont ruin her life. She is just a kid to me, but a kid I care about. OH and btw I talked to her brother (who im friends with) and she keeps it a secret from him, she said it was weird to tell him, he is not mad about it or anything, just worried. Everyone is but nobody does anything about it. What can I do?

We have hosted three au pairs, and while we are clearly not experts at this, we aren't new to it either. I see a lot of posts from young people on here asking if they should au pair. No one here can answer that for you, but I just wanted to get this out of my brain and hope someone reading finds it helpful.
This is strictly from our experience, so take it how you want. The best au pairs are the ones who are capable of taking care of themselves and their host kids with minimal supervision.
Do not become an au pair if you are not independent. We have had two au pairs who can barely do anything for themselves. It is exhausting having to babysit another grown adult and walk them through everything, including child care. If you can't live by yourself for a month in a brand new place with new appliances on a small income, this probably isn't the job for you. For example, you should be independent enough to google how to do a load of laundry, throw together simple meals, and find directions to places all on your own. If I give you a resource to help you at your job because you express frustration, at least read it try to implement things to help you make your life better rather than just shrugging and saying you couldn't motivate yourself to change anything. If I give you a spreadsheet with tax information on it and break down step-by-step the US tax system for you and tell you what to set aside each week, don't act shocked in April when you are asked to pay taxes. Don't ask me the same question every week or two and be surprised when my answer is the same every time.
Our first au pair was independent, and we didn't realize how good we had it with her. She could drive, she could cook, she looked up answers on google for simple things instead of bugging us. We loved her dearly and keep in close contact still today. It was only after we got one terrible and one marginally okay au pair that we realized not all au pairs were like our first. The more people I talk to with au pairs, the more I realize our first was a unicorn and most are like our other two.
I say this as our final au pair is just over a month away from finishing her contract with us. Our last two au pairs could barely boil water, and it's expensive and just exhausting to have to run to the store constantly to keep microwave meals on hand every day because they can't figure out how to make anything more complex than scrambled eggs.
If I could make a final related note, it's not to lie about BIG things like driving. One of our au pairs flat-out lied about driving and didn't think we would catch on. We knew the minute she stepped behind the wheel. I taught her basically from scratch and paid for lessons in her native language. The disappointing part is the lying. I sent her so many resources in her native language on driving before she even came, and in our interview we stated that she had to drive, so she lied to get the job. That should have been our first red flag, but we took a while to realize she was a liar about other things. The next AP came to us in-country with a US drivers license and said she could drive, then got here and said driving gave her anxiety and she wasn't comfortable and didn't want to do it. That was the final straw for us. No more au pairs after this.
I'm tired. I didn't sign up for this program to add another child in my life who is incapable of driving a car or using an air fryer on their own without help.

I need to get this off my chest. I can't tell this to anyone irl because I can't disclose my crush to any of my friends, I am still closeted. I am scared to even post this, ugh. I apologise for the length of the post!!
I had my gay sexual awakening a few weeks ago. My crush and I are great friends. Since the day I started talking to them, I was kinda already drawn towards them. I have never had a crush before and I never understood what it meant until it hit my like a ton of bricks. I discovered this new loving selfless side of me, I saw beauty in their every move, every expression, every smile, every eye contact (which naturally scared the hell out of me XD). At first, I was repulsed of what those involuntary thoughts brought. I used to think I was straight. It scared me, not because I was attracted to them, but because of how the society is.
They are an amazing person. We have had hundreds of heart to heart conversations. I told them about my neurodivergence, I told them about so many things, and the efforts in our friendship were reciprocated. They care about me, I care about them.
But these feelings, oh god, these feelings. When I first came to terms with it, I also acknowledged the fact that this is very confusing and nothing can happen between us. I haven't yet made sense of my sexual orientation right now. Further, I have not worked on myself enough to be a good partner to anyone. I knew I had no shot, at least not right now. I am a broken pile of meltdowns in the name of a person, but I am working on it.
But that ray of hope, that flutter in the heart when I see them or when their text pops up on my screen, it gives me SUCH butterflies. The heart wants what it wants, even when my brain knows it can't happen.
And then...one day we were just talking. They revealed that they would never date a person who looks like me. It was nothing rude and it wasn't addressed towards me in any way. It's just that I am not their type. My heart broke, shattered into millions of powdered pieces and sunk down my stomach. They also told me about some other stuff (unrelated to me) that essentially meant that I have remotely no shot of being romantically involved with them. Each time we had these talks, I supported them and helped them out. But it broke my heart. Later, I broke down into tears. They are so oblivious to it all, it is kind of sweet and funny as much as it is sad. But I love seeing them happy, laughing, giggling, having fun. I am fine with it, I am okay keeping this to myself because I don't want to ruin our friendship.
None of it is their fault. We have a great friendship and I would do anything, ANYTHING to not give it up. They have appreciated me in a way no one else ever has, they support my art like none other and they have been there for me when I was in crisis too.
It's just that these are so many intense feelings that I can't even talk to my best friend about. I am not yet ready to come out, I can't out them either. But I feel so lonely when I need to cry about it to my best friend. I can't do the normal agonizing crush stuff with my friends as other people do.

Kbd is one of our oldest pieces of content in the game, dating back to 2002. In OSRS, kbd has been almost entirely unchanged since then, with the occasional drop table shuffle here or there.There's also a 2-for-1 with what I'm proposing, which should make Barrows armour pricier. I propose a way to "enrage" kbd, and access a new fight, with new mechanics, new drops and a quest to unlock the ability to do this. The quest will focus on the dragonkin rehashing old experiments, finally focusing on grafting the corrupted barrows metal onto kbd's scales, creating the King Barrow Dragon.
Kbd+ should sit at the higher end of mid-tier content, alongside Vorkath, Zulrah and Hydra, and provide comparable gp/h. Kbd fight - 3 phases, one for each head remaining until dead. Kbd will exclusively attack with 2 of the 3 combat styles during the fight, switching combination based on the phase. He will also use coloured firebreath relating to the phase he's in. White, green, blue.
Phase 1 - Ice head. Ranged/magic. Kbd will periodically freeze the player in place, where they will have to spam-click the floor to break out, hespori-esque. Kbd will also breathe into the air and freeze the cavern above him, causing stalactites to form. He then stomps and causes these to fall on random tiles in the boss room. When KBD stomps, if the player is on an adjacent tile to KBD, they will be knocked back and stunned just long enough to not be able to move away from the dropping stalactites. These stalactites will leave puddles of water on the floor. These will not fade away until the end of the fight. Kbd will only perform this mechanic once per fight.
Phase 2 - poison head. Melee/ranged - will constantly move within melee range of the player. Kbd will spit pools of poison on the floor over the course of the fight. Standing on these pools will deal 3-6 tick damage with poison resistance, 5-10 without. These will not fade away until the end of the fight. Kbd will tail swipe the player, with a chat-box notification saying "The King Black Dragon readies its tail"If the player does not move out of melee range of the KBD, the swipe will knock the player back 4 tiles, taking typeless melee damage, between 20-40. If they are knocked into a wall, the player will be stunned for 2 seconds.
Phase 3 - lightning head - Melee/Magic - kbd will remain stationary, only meleeing if the player is in melee range.Kbd will periodically shoot bolts of lightning at the player, dealing magic damage. If the player is stood on or adjacent to one of the pools when this bolt hits, the lightning will jump to the pool and detonate it, dealing typeless damage to the player. Fight will end when this phase is over.
Drops: Kbd should be focused on dropping low to mid level ores and herbs in large quantities, to be attractive to Ironman accounts, as well as dragon armour items, weapons, and runite pieces. The total drops from these should roughly equate to 1.5m/hr in drop value. Uncommonly, KBD should drop a Wightsteel Icon. This is an untradeable item that will attach to barrows armour, making them untradeable but giving them a small stat improvement across the board, as well as a dark-purple trim to the armour. This armour should have worse stats than Torva, but sit firmly above the original barrows pieces. Rarely, KBD should drop a Wightsteel Claw. Also untradeable, this will attach to the barrows weapons, giving them a dark purple glow and darkening the metal components of the weapons. This will also make the weapons untradeable, but they will still degrade. They will only be rechargeable by adding Wightsteel Scrap to the weapon. Whilst providing no stat bonuses, they will provide a boost to the armour's set effect, *only* if the full set of upgraded barrows armour is worn. *Wightsteel Scrap can be created by the player by destroying barrows armour on an anvil with 80 smithing. It should be tradeable. Kbd should also drop this rarely. My hope is that we can use KBD to fill an equipment gap in the game between Bandos (60m) and Torva (700m~), between Ahrim's and Ancients, and Karil's and Masori, focusing on higher defence rather than increasing dps. It also provides an opportunity to add utility to the armour sets, such as a full ahrim's set reducing melee stats with successful magic damage, karil's reducing magic damage dealt and Torag's dealing more damage to targets based on their % defence level reduction, although these are massive changes. The entire suggestion is subject to massive testing, but imo it's a good idea to make both Barrows more profitable and add another high-mid boss for players. (Wightsteel icons could also change the appearance of King Black Prince, since the pet grind is the only content that matters).
I hope you enjoyed reading this idea :)

Hello everyone! First a few detail about me, 37, M, 6'-1", SW: 366lbs (May 2022), CW: 265lbs. I've been obese most of my life until 2 years ago I said "enough is enough". I tried working out and was able to lower my weight to about 339lbs by May 2023 (a year later). By that time I started doing a bit more to drop more weight. Within the last year I've dropped almost 70lbs. My routine has been 30 minute walking cardio every day and I also do intermittent fasting 16:8. Usually I workout in the morning right before I break the fast and then have 2 eggs or yogurt with granola. During my lunch hour I'll take the kids to the park and walk for about 45 minutes while they play. When we get back home the wife is usually already there and I have a regular meal before starting the fast again. I feel good and I've never been in the 265lbs for as long as I can remember. The only thing that bothers me is that I weight myself every morning and I notice that I will drop a pound or two each day but then I'll regain 5-7lbs over the weekend. I've seen that a healthy weight loss is about 1-2 per week. As an example, last Monday I weighted 274lbs and during the week I dropped to about 267lbs and gained a few lbs over the weekend so my starting weight for this week's Monday was 271lbs and now I'm at 265lbs. Is anyone having a similar weight pattern?

So it's completed guys , now it feels so weird to let go these characters although I have some episodes left in tbbt ,but this young Sheldon feels as new series more than a spinoff , because some of the characters feel different from the tbbt First is George I felt he is a dad who took care family but didn't involve with his family members emotional while watching tbbt . But man he is the sweetest character and the daddy daughters dates are the best (definitely having with my daughter if I have any in future) . Missy I felt they could have done more with her character In one episode Sheldon says she has loving family members and friends and he has both of them with a noble prize. But they could have given her a career , I know the series is from late 80s and early 90s. But watching her character i felt she would have ended up at least in good job
But in opposite Georgie character is well connected His business oriented approach for his career His speciality in tyres and all No issues.

There are a few things I have searched myself, discovered by accident or just tested because I couldn't find anyone else talking about it and thought I'd post this random collection of thoughts for anyone searching terms!
1) I didn't realise you can install turnip drivers to Dolphin. I was finding some Wii games difficult to emulate at 2 or 3x and getting the odd stutter on GameCube with similar resolutions. I tested the r17 and r18 turnip drivers and it was much much improved and similar performance to what reviewers were showing in their videos.
2) I've had lots of problems with copying/moving files where I copy between the internal storage and the SD card and the process fails. So don't use 'Move to'. Always 'Copy to' in case it just crashes. I lost a couple of large ROMs with this happening.
3) There is lots of talk about different Yuzu forks but frankly I've not seen any real differences in my usage with the last version of Yuzu. I don't think it's worth getting all these forks until we see definitive new features. With the r18 turnip driver I have lots of things running that I couldn't find videos on and some not running that I have seen others run.
For example, I can't get any Assassins Creed game to run for some reason and Crysis 2 has major glitches. LEGO Skywalker Saga also crashed even with imported saved data which another person claimed would get you in-game. But some games I've seen either people run with major glitches, not at all or just couldn't find a good test video but I seem to be able to play just fine are Bravely Default 2, Xenonblade 1 (NCE turned off), Company of Heroes, Persona Royal, Star Ocean, Zau, Legend of Heroes, Tennis World Tour 2, WRC Generations. Outer Worlds is hit or miss on the colours/lighting of the environment glitching when outside.
4) Lots of people are talking about Winlator performance. I've installed and gone into about 12 games and to be honest the only consistently working ones are pre-2015 GOG titles with controller support. I've never been able to get controller mapping to work right on other titles like Assassin's Creed Brotherhood, Call of Duty 4 and Oblivion. One thing that is annoying with the Odin 2 and Winlator is the analog/digital only triggers that mean trigger use can be hit or miss with how you press them.
And as with many of us, I have suffered from the 'the Odin 2 can do so much' and then inevitably tinkering loads without playing said systems. I've now set up ES-DE as my launcher (anyone seen battery drain from doing this?) and WiFi is off so that I actually play some games properly!

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DdJxUSevYf0
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Does anyone else with limerance feel like they can't handle real relationships and deliberately seek limerance?
Like you feel like you won't be able to be good enough for a real relationship you don't feel like you actually want to be loved and you feel like you need the pain of non reciprocation ?.
Like my self esteem is so bad that if I was loved by someone I would freak out.
When men ask me on dates I can't handle it
When men are nice to me I can't handle it
When someone is unnatainabkw emotionally I go nuts for them.
I feel like I am too old to be fixed

so i have been rolling for faruzan cons for my wanderer but the game ended up giving me like 15 laylas 😭
however, i have been wondering, how good of a shielder is she? (for my wanderer team example:- Wanderer,Faruzan,Bennett,Layla)
i also think layla is very cute and will be fun in coop
thanks!

Reddit has been a life saver during my breakup. I finally created an account. I am a 33M needing advice.
Should I send this?
I wanted to write this letter to share what I have came to realize and accept over the past few weeks.
I had so many questions that I felt I needed and deserved answers to. I am happy I did not bombard you with them because no answers could have been enough. I was just in a world of turmoil and pain.
There are also things I was/am upset about, but they don’t matter as the realizations that I have came to will be what matters when I look back at this moment in my life.
I did so much reading to try and answer my own questions and after weeks of searching I finally found something that hit home. Ironically, it was something you had brought up before I had just not taken a step back to properly assess it.
At first, I thought that although we had so many things in common, we were incompatible in things that truly mattered. I stuck with this idea for a while. I felt that you needed a partner that you could vibe more with in things that you desired. Partying, being out and about, getting high and having sex. Things that I couldn’t give you enough of or at all and mattered to you. But I really believe that if you love each other, you can overcome incompatibilities unless they are fundamental, i.e. religion, morals, and values.
However, I finally stumbled upon some readings that changed my views.
It boils down to me being a single father.
Many of the experiences I read echoed what you had brought to my attention many times. It is extremely difficult to date a single parent. The even more complicated aspect of it is that although you were attracted to the traits that I possess as a father, they also affect you in a negative way. The number 1 reason… Well because I am a dedicated father, my kids will always come first. They will always be my number 1 priority. No matter how much I try, how much effort I put in, you will always feel left out, like you are not a priority. That is incredibly difficult for a person to submit themselves to. Although there are plenty of people who have done this, it has come at a very high price.
I never really stopped to think about this deeply because I felt that as long as I worked hard, put in effort, it would work out. But subconsciously I was asking/expecting you to give up a huge part of your life, desires, wants and needs. This is unfair. This would be like you asking me to give up time and a part of my life with the kids. Either one of those asks would be incredibly unfair to ask of each other. In order for us to make it work, this would have been the only way.
You deserve a partner that can give you what need and want. A partner to give you time, spoil you, and make you their number one priority. A partner you can grow and evolve with. Not a partner that has baggage that you must now also carry. It is normal for me to live my life and for it not to seem so far fetched because I have been living it for over 12 years. Asking you to live that life is not fair, you deserve to live the life you want to live.
Your stepdad has given you good advice. You deserve more, you deserve to not feel second, to have all that you want. Although this is a hard pill for me to swallow, I cannot be a hypocrite. If my daughter was in your shoes, no matter how great the guy is, if he has kids, I would be giving her the same advice. To find someone without kids, to find someone that can make her their number one priority as she will make them. Therefore, I must live what I believe. It would be hypocritical of me to ask or expect something from you that I would advise my own daughter against.
I took it personally when you broke up with me for a third time, how could I not. However, after arriving at these conclusions, I must accept reality, the truth.
The truth is, I am not a good option for a partner. This does not mean I am less of human being or less of a man. It is just that. The way my life is setup makes it extremely difficult for someone to truly live their life without sacrificing much more than what is fair.
Thank you for hearing me out, I will always remember you fondly, be grateful for the lessons you helped me learn and the care, attention, and affection you provided me, the kids, and my family. You are a wonderful, amazing, and special woman.
I wish I could say that we can be friends or that we remain in contact, but I feel that it would be disrespectful for your current or future partner.
I hope you find all that you search for in life and that it brings you happiness and fulfillment.
Take care of yourself always.

Here is couple of easy wins that will make insta studio much more usable. Please consider adding those in:

1. Marking the timeline. In both Vegas studio and Adobe premiere you have a shortcut to make dummy marks/flags on timeline. It is very useful when you want to match your cuts to some music. You can listen to song and keep marking the timeline on each drum hit for example and later on you just cut the video to your marks.
   
2. Allow to turn off the auto snapping on timeline. Everything snaps to the left. I see how auto snapping might be useful for some, however it's counterintuitive and confusing for anyone that used professional tool before. Allow to leave empty gaps between videos that will render as black screen if left empty. That will help to make more accurate cuts, fill the gaps etc.
   
3. Audio transitions or overlapping 2 sperate audio files
   
4. Allowing to render only the part of timeline. When you work on the video many hours sometimes you want to check how some parts of it will look rendered. Couple nights ago I tried to make 1 minute video and half way thru I wanted to make sure the transitions etc will look good, however I had almost 2h of raw footage left on my timeline and removing it wasn't an option. Rendering 2h video to see first 30 seconds neither. Please allow to mark some part of the timeline to render only that small bit.
   

Neither of those will make insta studio professional tool, however I'm sure they would lower the amount of ppl needing to use external/additional tools for rendering their videos.

Hello lovely people, I was wondering if anyone had book recommendations similar to the theme of “Heaven Can Wait” by Michael Jackson. This song is exactly what I look for in a romance, it’s incredibly passionate and intense! I could go on and on.
Essentially the song is about a man not wanting to be taken away from his love and abhorring the idea of her moving on if he were to die. In the song he sings “If the angels took me from this earth, I would tell them bring me back to her”. For example, in the book maybe he’s cursed and he has to pay the price with his life but because he’s with his love, he would rather sacrifice anything else than be away from her. Or maybe he is already dead, and is in “heaven” and is doing everything he can to get back to her. I really want his determination to stay with her to be a central theme in the book. Him not letting anything get in the way of them being together. Also if he vocalizes to her that, she’s his priority and that he will do anything to stay with her, that’s a bonus. In the song Michael also sings “it’s a chance I’ll take, baby I’ll stay” so maybe he’s a God/mystical being that has obligations elsewhere but is willing to give it up just to be with her! Essentially she’s his soulmate and that’s all that matters to him.
I’ll also list some things I really like (but isn’t necessary):
1) Virgin MCs (FMC or MMC or both, I love this trope) 2) kind but confident FMC 3) Respected, Influential and Feared MMC 4) Found family 5) MF pairing 6) FMC equally committed to MMC
7)contemporary, fantasy, paranormal, HR are all good!
These are my HARD no’s (please don’t recommend anything with these tropes because my heart is incredibly sensitive):
1) Unjustified Cheating (if the OW/OM is a good person them being cheated on is heartbreaking, it’s fine if the OM is abusive though) 2) SA/domestic abuse (fine if committed by someone else BUT NEVER THE MMC) 3) Dubcon/noncon/any consent issues (consensual non-con is fine, as long as it’s CLEAR it’s consensual) 4) alphahole or mean MMC (fine if he’s dominant but he must be softdom) 4) Non-monogamy
Thank you so much for your recs! Kisses everyone! (Also I really recommend listening to Michael’s song…it’s amazing, 100% in my top 3).

Now, it's time to talk about the most controversial character of Disventure Camp so far, Jake.
​
Now, as of the course of All Stars, this character went from one of the most hated characters to have a great deal of fans to himself. Recently, there has been an argument on whether Jake is considered a victim or not. Before I say the points, I am about to make, I just wanted to say that you are not wrong if you dislike or like Jake. As long as you be respectful to others and their opinions, then there should be no problems here.
For starters, Jake has been through quite multiple experiences that results in him gaining lots of trauma throughout it all, whether that be through his past, multiple people betraying him, and many people taking advantage of his gullible personality. With all of this, I personally think while being a sympathetic character, I wouldn't call Jake a victim. While some people think that these mean the same, I would argue otherwise.
Don't get me wrong, some characters in DC are both victims and sympathetic, and some are neither. A perfect example of the former is Grett. Because not only is she a victim of abuse due to her relationship with Yul, but she is also sympathetic due to that as well as her desire to move on from her previous mistakes. Now while Jake also wants to move on from his mistakes, I wouldn't say his trauma excuses his actions he does in the show. For starters, he antagonizes Aiden for doing basically nothing but talk to Tom, as well as antagonizing Ally because of manipulation by Fiore. So, it's clear to us that Jake has some real flaws that prevent him from forming long time relationships, which he even feels guilty about in the show. But to me, his flaws and complexity is exactly what make him compelling. And above all, unlike a character like Yul, he is a good person underneath all of his trauma and flaws, and has a genuine desire to do better, which he is trying to do, and succeeded in some areas.
Unpopular opinion maybe, but I like how Jake vents to Ashley about his problems because it shows how is now willing to talk about his problems and thoughts rather than just acting upon them. And it's not just one-sided either, as he respects her and is even willing to help her with her struggles.
Even if Jake doesn't win, what I want above else is for Jake to find some success. Whether that be by befriending his enemies, dealing with his intrusive thoughts in a healthy way, making long-term relationships, proving those negative perceptions of him by the others wrong, and just finding some peace in his life.
​
That's my whole thoughts on the whole situation, but what are your thoughts on him. I would love for this post to sprout some friendly discussion amongst the fans, just make sure to keep it friendly. Have a good day everyone!

The title of this post may seem insane to most people, I know. Although it is long, please follow me closely as I explain why Beyoncé is the loser of a beef that she wasn't even included in.
We are currently in a time in the music world where the "top artists" are releasing some of their worst work, their desires are CLEARLY outweighing their passion, and their fandoms' dedication outweighs their actual value. Let's look at a few examples:

1. Taylor Swift - Tortured Poets Department: extremely lazy lyrics ("like a tattooed golden retriever" and "my friends all smell of weed or little babies" just to name a few), unoriginal concept (it's heavily giving Lana del Rey imo), and redundantly long.
2. Kanye West: I don't even think an explanation is necessary here
3. Nicki Minaj - Pink Friday 2 & "Big Foo"t: ...
4. Cardi B - "Enough (Miami)": literally sounds like every Cardi B song ever...

Basically... music is not music right now (the mainstream, top performers). Passion is being replaced with greed, which kinda makes sense given the economy rn, but consumers continuing to be passive & dismissive about this is dangerous for the future of art AND EDUCATION (I'll get to that).
The Kendrick Lamar vs. Drake beef was not just a cool rap moment. The music that came from both sides of this beef, as well as the events that occurred outside of the music, drew a BOLD line between Entertainers/Pop Stars and Artists. It also revealed another important question: when CAN the music be separated from the artist (notice I said "can" instead of "should")?
See, many people throw around the phrase "we SHOULD separate the art from the artist." However... how did separating R. Kelly's art from him go? He had a cult following of people who SAW him and KNEW about him being a predator, but didn't care. This allowed his career to grow and gave him more money & resources to hurt people and simply make black people look a little cuckoo for continuously rallying behind him. WE CANNOT SEPARATE HIM FROM HIS ART. Unless you're cool with jamming to songs about little girls.
Pop Stars, like Drake and Beyoncé, get hella passes for their actions. Kendrick Lamar absolutely broke that wall down regarding Drake. He showed that Drake's "art" is not only flawed, but his tactics are detrimental to an entire culture and to art. I won't go in too much detail just because there are many articles/videos that break their beef down. We heard Kendrick describe his interpretation of Drake's relationship with Atlanta (which I agree with) in "Not Like Us." However... I don't think Kendrick knew he was breaking Beyoncé's wall down as well...
The possibility of separating Beyoncé from her work was thrown in the trash in 2013 with her surprise self-titled album. See, her first 4 solo albums were AMAZING (imo). She did a DAMN good job with those records without tactics that have detrimental consequences SOCIALLY (I'm aware of her theft allegations during this time, but for this post I'm discussing her impact on the world collectively rather than just within the industry). We could enjoy the music without feeling guilty due to her political and business decisions. Thus, we COULD separate the art from the artist. However... she stripped that ability away from us with each album after 4. *let me please note that I believe that pop stars should not dabble in activism, so this next section may slightly sound biased bc of that belief, but I'm doing my best to stay neutral*

1. Beyoncé (2013) - there's not much wrong with this album to me, but I mention it because I believe it's the catalyst. Feminism had a big year in 2013 (https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/dec/16/feminism-minority-voices-2013-inclusion), and feminism was a large theme of the album. Whether this was intentional or not, it had an impact (https://www.elle.com/culture/a35492/beyonce-and-feminism-essay/). I don't believe there were greedy/shady intentions with this album or its promotion, I just think the success of this album could've prompted the choices she and her team made for the following albums.
2. Lemonade (2016) - This is an amazing album sonically and visually. But... the promotion. So, the film she released with the album went through 11 chapters that represented the 11 songs on the album. Oh wait... there's 12 songs on Lemonade. Formation is thrown on at the end. The album is clearly relationship centered, but she released Formation as the single with all the black power imagery during a time where Black Lives Matter was moving heavy (I am black btw). I feel like the racial and social impact of this album is due to our own interpretations and theories about the album's meaning, and I think it was made that way on purpose. I think they had a great 11 song album that could've sold on its own, but Formation was used to stir the pot and I personally feel like using activism for marketing in an album rollout for pop music is unethical. maybe I'll do a separate post on that.
3. Renaissance (2022) - 2020-2022 was a big period for the LGBT community, particularly the trans community. Also, the hype around the show Pose was booming. I love this album. But come on... look into the promotion

If you want a deeper dive on her promotion tactics: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99W79ED4hCE
You see where I'm going here. When you pair this with all of the other mess like the songwriting allegations, her obvious goal of billionaire status, and promoting wealth to us as if it coincides with excellence and it's something we should all be striving for, all while being held up as a LEADER in the black community or even the black art space..... it's a no for me. The music is great but I can't financially support an artist like that.
However... Kendrick Lamar's music connects with me on a different level because it coincides with the human experience. He is honest, authentic, and creative in his work. Artists being themselves is what inspires transformation in me. He doesn't have to use overboard promotional tactics and grift to a specific demographic to take care of himself and his family. And Beyoncé doesn't have to either. Also... Kendrick is competent and knowledgeable about his work. We know the passion behind it because we see it in the lyrics, hear it in his delivery, and feel it when he discusses it. Never any large consumerism tactics behind it... any of that.
Kendrick is sticking out in the industry right now (to me) because he has separated himself from the "greedy pop star," like Drake. It shines a light on the true artistry in Kendrick's work, and the lack of it in Drake's. And when I looked into Drake's mess, I found a bunch of other top stars' mess as well. And that includes Beyoncé.
I call Bey the real loser of the Kendrick vs. Drake beef because I believe she has been held at the top spot for us (black ppl) for a while. She just won an "innovator" award. Her image doesn't coincide with what is on paper and wax for me anymore. She's a hell of a performer... but there's too many questionable elements here. Kendrick has not only proven himself to be the top rapper, but the TOP artist (at least among black artists, but I believe overall).
Yes, the pop stars are "bigger." More fans, more money, more power, crazier fans, more resources, etc. Beyoncé is the most adored; the bigger one. But when it comes to art, which I'm passionate about DEARLY.... it's Kendrick for me. Listen to his albums and tell me different.

I (23M) matched with this girl(22F) last week, it's going quite well. She is in my city for work for a couple of months.
A little background about myself, I have never been in a relationship and am a terrible texter. I have started exploring the dating world recently.
To be honest when we matched, I wasn't in the mood to pursue anything and was talking casually.
She's good, simple, smart, cute, ambitious everything I would want in my partner someday. We've met once for dinner, short date after work, it was pleasent.
On text she's good, we talk all day about one thing or other, hopped on call a couple of times.
Now you guys must be thinking why I'm here.
I don't know what to do, what to expect. She says she can do long distance. But is it enough time to create a bond that would last long distance? I haven't had any relationships in past and have no idea how long distance works. Plus I usually take time to attach to someone.
Though I find her amazing and we've scheduled dates this weekend.
I don't know what I exactly want to hear here. What do you people think?
Thanks for reading this out though!

Cover Art <<Previous Start Next >>
GLOSSARY This links to a post on the free section of my Patreon. Note: "Book 1" is chapters 1-59, "Book 2" is chapters 60-133, "Book 3", is 134-193, "Book 4" is CH 194-(ongoing)
Fuyuko, Derek, and Shizoku spent most of a day dealing with their accumulated gains and preparing for their first day of exploration. Shizoku spent a fair amount of that evening's time communing with Bip, her slime familiar. She needed to adjust what spells she had at the ready for dealing with a wetlands environment.
While she was studying her grimoire, Derek and Fuyuko were preparing more physical means of dealing with the wetlands. Most of their work had been dealt with by trading the boat for three pairs of proper swamp boots, but the footwear needed a little adjusting and resizing for each of them.
The over boots were a combination of different techniques for dealing with different sorts of mud, with the base being a raised wooden sole that 'winged' out to resist sinking further into soft mud that was deeper than the ridges raised the sole. These were attached to oiled leather over boots that were useful for wading. The wooden soles were detachable for prolonged wading where they would provide a hindrance.
Derek could reshape the wooden portion to match their feet exactly, and reshape metal fittings if needed, but leather and cloth needed manual adjustment. Given how long they were planning on using these for, it was important to make them fit as perfectly as possible to prevent blisters and sores, even with their normal footwear underneath the boots.
They began their exploration by using the mapping tools they had won in the library to learn the layout of the swamp near the town. It didn't take them long to realize that some of the islands moved very slowly, and Derek was able to use his elemental talents to investigate, leading to the disturbing realization that under the right conditions, mud could have currents and flows.
Shizoku's magic wasn't quite as effective as she would have liked, for most of it was designed to work in other environments. Magic designed to hide your tracks and traces didn't prevent you from making them in the first place, and so did not keep you from sinking into mud. She did have a spell designed to make traversal through any terrain safe and easy, but it didn't last very long and was best reserved for crossing smaller sections of really bad terrain.
Spells used for manipulating and altering plants could also provide small bridges, but these were limited by the strength of the nearby plants. Generally speaking, they were better for clearing plants out of the way.
These difficulties were inspiring ideas of future spells to research, but that required more time than just the little bit of rest they got each day.
Derek's powers were more consistent and easier to use repeatedly or for long periods, but the effects tended to not be as dramatic as the witch's spells. He could make the mud firmer or softer to a degree, but he couldn't create a solid path out of flowing silt for even a few minutes.
Fuyuko found that her long limbs and greater strength allowed her to move easier through the swamp then her friends could, just by virtue of being able to apply more force and leverage. This was why she was leading the way, Derek found it difficult to monitor the details of the mud around them while also working to firm it up constantly, and it was easiest for Fuyuko to cope with any sudden changes that Derek wasn't able to compensate for.
Their outward journey each day was mostly limited by Derek's stamina, and when he was approaching his limits they would use a combination of their maps and Shizoku's divination magics to find the best route back. Such spells required some precision in defining a destination, so they were not very useful when you didn't have a concrete destination in mind.
Because the trio were taking their time to be thorough and to explore all possibilities, it didn't take long for them to begin finding all the bounties that the swamp held in store for them. Shizoku was able to find plants with medical and alchemical uses, though she had to consult the tomes that she had stored in Bip's memories as wetland plants were not very familiar to her. Once she had identified any specific plant, she could give it to Fuyuko as a sample and the luponi could use her better senses to find more of that plant.
Fuyuko also caught the scent of some mud that was strangely familiar, and after she and Derek dug out some of the intensely colored clay, Shizoku was able to recognize it was a valuable type of clay used for making prized teapots and other pottery. This explained why the scent had been familiar to Fuyuko, as Kazue had been excited to introduce her to Cimbu and the fourteen-year-old had been fascinated by the ability to make the little clay dragon spit water without any magic involved and sometimes made some tea just to have an excuse to play with the tea pet and make him spit. Well, once she'd been shown how; tea wasn't something she'd had much experience with before.
Claiming the clay was more problematic. However much they might be able to claim in their explorations and bring back to town, there were only so many other explorers they could trade with as everyone had a limit to how much stuff they could physically haul out. In the end they decided on a single large sack of clay that would be stored in Fuyuko's spatially expanded backpack.
Derek did most of the work of 'mining' the clay, during which they made another discovery: Opals. There weren't an outrageous number of them, but they were decent-sized and high quality. These became a higher priority target than the clay itself, though they kept that too.
The teens didn't forget the lessons they'd been given about the previous level and wanted to fish here too. However, the water was murky in the places it was deep enough to possibly have fish, making it more difficult to know where the fish were.
It was only after they talked with people back at the town that they learned about fish traps, and set about making those. Specifically, eel traps. The eels were prized for both their skin and their flesh. Their skin was both durable and supple and came in a wide variety of colors and patterns, and their flesh was sweeter than most varieties found out in the world. As soon as they learned how to make and set eel traps, those were added to their routine during their explorations.
Their travels throughout the swamp also brought them to many of the scattered 'monster homes' throughout the swamp, including the time that Fuyuko nearly stepped on a kobold enjoying a nice relaxing mud bath. It was a shock for all three of them as none knew about the relatively recent acquisition of the small, scaled race.
Shizoku was fine with the kobold after she got over her shock, but she did less well when they met the crabbit, who was so kind as to sing for them. Not that any of them found the sight of the interior of the 'mouth' to be less than disturbing, but the effect on the little kitsune was profound as she tightened her lips into a forced smile despite the panic showing clearly in the lines and tension around her eyes. She did well enough to keep her reaction under control that the inhabitants chose to ignore it rather than call her out on it, which would have knocked down their standing in the witch's evaluation.
After about a week, they decided that their mapping and exploration of the swamp was about as good as it was going to get. It was time to approach the witch's hut that they'd avoided previously. The Fairy Witch was in a strange, almost manic mood and the trio quickly found out she was obsessed with creating new musical sounds.
"Alright kids," Carmilla said, "you want to pass my swamp? You have to help me out here. Look, the bards I've gotten my hands on have been great and all, even pretty damn creative. But I think I need something from people who don't know as much about music. Here's my workshop, I don't care if it's a new instrument or a new way of playing an old instrument, a different sort of harmony, or whatever. Gimme something new, and you can use anything you want here, the good stuff is in another building. Bah, this lot." She glared at a group of distant figures. "They're boring, won't even respond to me flirting with them, and not a musical bone in their bodies. Well, time to play the part. Have fun in there, but I don't really want to see you again until you got something for me."
The only one of them with any musical training at all was Shizoku, but it had never been something she'd pursued on her own. That left them somewhat aimlessly poking around the workshop and messing around with instruments they found, many of which were obviously experiments that were only finished enough to test.
That did eventually prove to be enough for inspiration. A large lute was laying on top of a narrow table, and Derek frowned thoughtfully at it. "I think I remember seeing something once that looked a little like that, but smaller. Like, it had a long board with a bunch of strings, way more than the lute, but the strings were on the top sort of like the lute, and it had a folding stand so that it sat on the ground. The lady who played it was set up in the square and taking tips, I guess to help pay her way? I don't know where she was traveling to or from, I only saw her once. I remember it being nice, but I don't remember what it sounded like exactly."
That was enough to start the ball rolling. "I think I know that one," Shizoku said, "Gran Gran has one tucked away. I don't think I've seen her play it though. Hmm. Well, she wants something new to her, and I don't think it's portable enough that most people are going to lug one down here, so maybe we can do that. I don't know how to tune without a tuning fork. Wait, Fuyuko, you have sharp ears, think you can figure out proper notes and a scale? "
Fuyuko looked at her blankly. "Um? I don't know, what does it involve?"
Shizoku gave her a quick rundown of how notes relate to each other with harmonies and gave an example by singing a few notes that were close to each other. "So like that, but cleaner. Only, we are supposed to be creative, and I know that there are different scales." She chewed on the idea for a little while more, thinking out loud while the others asked questions.
They agreed that the first step was going to be having a sounding box for the body, once Shizoku explained that was how the instrument amplified sound. Though that meant figuring out the size. Derek suggested that he try to make it as big as Carmilla could play. She wasn't as tall as Fuyuko, but she was pretty tall and had long arms and fingers.
The table seemed like a perfect frame to start with, even if they were going to destroy it, and the three of them set about scavenging the other instruments for parts. They snacked on strips of dried eel when they needed to take a break, and by evening they had a crude sound box built into what had once been the table. Even with Derek's wood-shaping skills, they were having trouble getting the salvaged parts to fit smoothly together into a single box with enough resonance.
Udup, the witch's shadow drake familiar, came out to check on them, and after getting a report on their progress offered to fetch them some food if they wanted to camp out here instead of trekking to town and back. The teens agreed that was the better idea, and it allowed them to tinker with ideas until they turned in for the night.
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$3. : 10 Early chapters, lore excerpts $5. : 20 Early chapters, Short Stories $10 : 30+ Early chapters, New stories not published anywhere else (Until after I finish this story at least) . . . . . "A Girl and Her Dungeon", "The Celestine Fox", and AU Core 1: "Coreless"

This is is turning out to be a pattern. I feel the person I date or sleep ends up competing with me. Trying to belittle me. I choose guys who seem pretty sorted when we first start dating, educated, ambitious, driven but over time things start going south. In fact, my ex told me “be a good woman, and stay in your lane”, another told me, “I feel you should marry some beta male, I feel bad for the poor chap”, another guy slapped me for networking. What do I watch out for to avoid such red flags? How can I guage signs in the beginning. I just play dumb and don’t talk about my passions now.

Sorry for the bad grammar and all that
I was dating this girl for a couple of months, I told her before we were fully into the relationship that I have trust issues. She said okay and all that. She told me at one point she was doing something for someone to come to the us I said cool. Out of the entire month she only consistently talked to me for a week. When she returned we talked about it and it was good. A little while after she got we went out hiking and we were taking pictures of each other. When I got her camera I saw her and the guy in bed then I saw them kissing. Idk if the lips connected their hats were covering their faces. We talked about it again I told her she was just slowly destroying my trust in her. Then last week she broke up with me, my response to her was ok cool. I'm not going to be with someone that doesn't wanna be with me. But now she wants to talk about it asking if it's too late. Idk what she wants out of the conversation. I then when she did break up with me either something did not go as planned or it fell through. So now she wants to come back cuz things didn't go as planned. ——/ Some insight would be nice

hii so i’m a fairly new designer, I am at my first design job and am wanting to revamp my resume. I keep hearing different things when it comes to resumes for a graphic designer. Some people say to keep it basic and simple so your portfolio can showcase your design abilities, but others say you should go all out with your resume. I was just wondering if anyone had any good examples/inspo for a professional resume.

I'm a 26 yo guy and have a similar aged friend. We met 8 years ago in uni and have been good friends. Sometimes we lose contact when either of us are in a relationship, traveling, or busy with life.
We've been in more regular contact the past 2 years and she's gotten mildly intimate with me in that time. When we're out she'll hold my hand or sleeve, this past winter she kept asking me to warm her hands and put them in my coat pockets. When we're sitting on a couch she'll put her legs on mine, and when we visited a beach with a hammock she climbed in on me.
The thing is, she used to be super touchy in uni even with guys. We're talking full cuddling on sofas with guy friends and taking sweaters. But after a lot of guys got the wrong message she toned it down a ton which I've noticed when I've met other guy friends of hers, she's a lot more reserved.
And part of me does think she's just comfortable around me and thinks of me as a real platonic guy friend she has. But there's really not much in our relationship that's different from dating. We buy gifts for each other for dates, when we're sick we visit to take care of each other. She sometimes calls me to say she just wanted to hear my voice or misses me. We're both busy with work but she goes out of her way to clear her schedule for a full day to meet with me and plan our date (she calls it a date but she calls meeting anyone a date). She's been convincing me to join her in traveling even though I don't like it much.
It's just at a certain point I'm wondering what I'm doing or where we're at. It just doesn't feel normal to be planning so much around one person and be this intimate with them. A few times I've brought up the topic of borders around friendship and relationships come up and she's always said it makes her sad that guys try to be her friend with the ulterior future goal of trying to hit. I tried asking her why she's been around me for so long and why she bothers me so much, and she always laughs and said she doesn't know but that she just naturally gravitated to me.
Outside of those questions, i dont know how I'd ask unless its outright. But i dont want to do that because I really don't want to lose a friend I've known for that long.
And honestly I like her a lot but I can't really see us being in a real relationship, we've been friends for too long and I've seen her in relationships before. It would feel like dating a sister which is why im a little uncomfortable with the lack of distance.
Tl;dr Girl friend is super touchy with me (a guy), wondering if that is normal or crossing a few boundaries that I should better establish

daughters father took custody feb of 2023. up until that point he took her weekends for the first seven years while I was primary and custodial.
Ive been in substance abuse recovery for 5 months now and one year clean and sober may first. January 2024 I agreed and signed her dad's proposed parenting plan with out thoroughly reading it through. YES I KNOW HOW DUMB THAT IS, but I was in a bad way just by not being in active treatment and not doing what I was supposed to in preparation for the trial and the court dates leading up. I thought it was a smart move and daughters dad and his mom convinced me that it was better for all of us because they did no want to continue paying for an attorney. however, I am active in recovery now, just graduated from intensive outpatient, to just outpatient. the plan I agreed to was a step up plan. but it is excessive and unreasonable for example: requiring me to submit (and solely pay for) a 9-panel hair follicle drug test every thirty days(follicle tests detect any usage going back 90 days) all of this IN ADDITION to the weekly random UAs that I submit as a part of my treatment plan. I have been on phase one since January because he is continuously unsatisfied with my compliance reports and seems to be just giving me more hoops to jump through.
I am looking for a step up plan that is more of a condensed/sped up version. phase one was 60 days in compliance and 3 hour supervised visits per week. phase two is supervised visits at my house twice a week for 3 hours a visit for three months. phase three is weekends unsupervised for three months. phase four is as long as I complete all treatment recommendations, then it remains weeks and the summeholiday/special occasion suspension is lifted. phase five is as long as compliant and sober I am finally allowed to petition for 50%.
is there a possibility of cutting down each phase to 6 or 8 weeks instead of there months each? is there a possibility of either all unsupervised visits or very little that decrease to none?
and then if there is a time that the father suspects me of being under the influence, he can require me to submit ANOTHER 9-panel follicle test, but if it comes back negative then he has to reimburse me for just that one.
please advice someone!!!