Sore throat painful swallowing

I (45f) am in desperate need of some direction. I have been dealing with severe pelvic pain for decades. I was on birth control pills for many years until my doctors no longer felt safe prescribing them to me due to advanced age and other health conditions.
Once they took me off the pills, my pain became completely unmanageable and I finally found a doctor who diagnosed me with endometriosis. January 2023, I had the surgery that confirmed it. He removed a lot of it and said that I should begin feeling much better. I didn’t. My pain didn’t change at all, so I decided to schedule a full hysterectomy.
In July 2023, I had the hysterectomy. I was sore for quite some time, but figured I needed time to heal, however, the pain and bloating kept getting more severe and seemed cyclical and similar to when I used to get ovarian cysts. The pain would get so bad at times that I would be bedridden and was sometimes accompanied with extreme fatigue, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, and fainting.
I went back to my OBGYN in March and we discussed that it could be Pelvic Adhesive Disease, Endometriosis coming back, or Ovarian Remnant Syndrome. We scheduled the diagnostic laparoscopic surgery. I had it one week ago. They found NOTHING! I was beyond devastated. Really not sure where to go from here. I have my post op scheduled for May 30th, but figured that it wouldn’t hurt to reach out to you beautiful people and see if any of you have experienced this before? Any advice, tips, recommendations, or similar stories would be greatly appreciated, so I can try to figure out my next steps.

Hi all,
Month ago diagnosed with HH and Esophagitis A.
On 40mg a day Esomeprezole. Primary complaint of back pain after eating has gone away.
I'm finding I'm having a lot more post nasal drip, throat clearing, globus, no heartburn so LPR symptoms.
I've been waking up with a yellow tongue for the last week or so which indicates acid coming up and makes sense to the LPR symptoms.
Question is, even though my back pain has gone away, is my esophagus going to still be getting further damage from the acid coming into my throat? Does LPR have a different effect on the esophagus to the throat?
I'm planning to speak to my doctor because I'm nearly 6 weeks into my course of PPI and concerned I am actually getting worse.

I don't know what inspired me to make this post, possibly it was finding out that this subreddit exists and has such a large following.
I've had GERD for 7-8 years now. I'm only in my mid 20's and was diagnosed with it by doing a gastroscopy. At the time, I weighed 115kg (255lbs) as a teen male. I now weigh about 84kg (185lbs).
Ever since it was first diagnosed I remember having food that I have swallowed re-surface dozens and dozens of time each day, possibly even 100 times per day (I don't keep count).
At first, I was prescribed Omeprazole but didn't take it consistently; I didn't experience heartburn most of the time and so I didn't see the need to take it most of the time. I refrain from eating a lot of deep fried food and in general I don't use a lot of oil when cooking (blessed be air fryer). When I was younger I also remember espresso sometimes being a cause for heartburn but that has also subsided.
The following paragraph is a bit graphic in detailing my regurgitation, feel free to skip it. Basically, the entire effect of my GERD is food being regurgitated too many times to count per day. It is unpleasant but definitely in the last few years it doesn't cause any heartburn or other form of pain. Usually, I have become used to re-chewing and re-swallowing the food I have regurgitated. I think if I was to throw up every single time I had regurgitated it would cause me to throw up most of the calories I have consumed throughout the day. Of course, throwing up regurgitated food reduces the amount of times the regurgitation happens. On very rare occasions the amount of liquids and foods being regurgitated at a single time is so much that a bit of it spits out of my mouth because I can't contain all of it, it is disgusting but very rare. I should also note that the regurgitation happens regardless of how much I eat (or drink!). Just drinking a cup of coffee for instance causes regurgitations over the span of a few hours. Many times I feel the food or liquids are almost sitting inside my neck and I cause myself to regurgitate (Yes, I can regurgitate at will pretty much, with a similar motion to one where a person may cause himself to willingly burp) to sort of re-chew them and swallow back just so that it sort of relieves it.
I'm making this post because I'm not sure what to do. Last time I went to a gastroenterologist I insisted on getting another Gastroscopy, saying I demand to monitor my esophagus every 5 years. According to the medical staff, that gastroscopy (which I did maybe 2-3 years ago), didn't show any worsening of my esophagus, it is the opinion of the few medical doctors I talked with that I shouldn't do the "wrap" surgery, though I assume I can insist on doing if I deem necessary and it would be covered. I'm just not sure if it's the right solution.
When I talk with doctors about the frequency of my regurgitation it seems as if they don't believe me, which can be frustrating. As if I'm just making the number up as an exaggeration. I'm worried that my GERD will eventually injure my esophagus and possibly even cause cancer in the esophagus when I grow up. I've had GERD since I was a teenager, it will stay with me for life since losing weight didn't help in relieving it, and it is clear that the frequency of regurgitation is alarming.
Also by making this post I wonder how rare this actually is, and if people have experienced the same thing, how they dealt with it and should it be a cause for concern. I feel sort of alone in my condition.

I [25M] developed bumps on my foreskin 2-3 weeks after my first sexual contact. To me, it looks very similar to herpes, but it’s been 5 months, and the bumps haven’t changed, no new bumps have appeared and none have gone away. No sores, no stages, 0 change in 5 months.
So I thought maybe its HPV, but I was told that warts appear months after contact.
Considered MC but there are no dimples in any of the bumps.
The bumps themselves don’t seem to be very painful, but the skin around them is quite tender and painful, makes it feel like my boxers are made out of sandpaper. The first week or so, I had slight burning when urinating.
The earliest doctor’s appointment I can get is in 4 months so I can’t really get them checked out right now.
The bumps are small and in clusters in several different areas, color changes a bit depending on the skin under it, but are mostly pale/yellow in the center.
It’s been causing me immense anxiety and has honestly been ruining my life. I’ve been avoiding women completely and my confidence is entirely gone. I’m worried that it won’t be treatable or won’t go away.
Any ideas of what it could most likely be?

Male 27- I accidentally took too much pyridostigimine mestinon- 360mg instead of 120. My throat feels tight and some difficulty swallowing but ok breathing, am I having a cholinergic crisis? Should I go to hospital or wait and see if it settles down? Male 27, 6’3 height, 85kg weight

Hello there,
I am 47yo male 178cm tall. Australian.
I have for the past 4 years or so had a sore muscle in the lower right side of my back.
Double bass kick drumming, running, walking lots, bicycle riding all aggravate it. It doesn't seem to heal if I sit around and do nothing. (Have been trying that for many years)
When I was around 20, I believe I developed the initial problem from poor posture and playing drums (metal). I stopped, the issue went away and then resurfaced again from getting back into the drums....
What I find also aggrates it is if I get a a bike and lean to the right while peddling, it twinges. Definite problem. Lean to the left, no twinges. Still weak feeling, but no immediate pain.
I tried going to a physio, but honestly, they were hopeless, didnt even wanna diagnose me, just talk gobbledyguk...
Would anyone hazard a guess as to what muscle could be hurting? so that I can google some exercised to do?
Thanks heaps for any thoughts

62F. This has happened twice now, once last summer and again a week ago. Literally just leaned over (from a standing position), slowly not suddenly, ever so slightly twisted to the left, reaching out my left hand to pull a weed in my yard and BANG! Sudden severe pain under my left breast, a little lower than bottom of sternum, enough pain to make me yelp out loud and nearly start crying. It lasted only a few seconds but that spot has been sore and tender for ten days, hurts to take a deep breath or stretch (which, having had broken ribs in the past, I'm gently doing anyway to keep things from seizing up.) Finally gave up and went in for an xray today which (of course) showed nothing wrong. Same exact thing last summer except on the right side. I've had subluxed ribs which always cause back/shoulder blade pain but that's not what this was. It was almost like the inner costal tips of my ribs slipped over each other? I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this. An ultrasound last summer did show some calcified cartilage, so maybe it's that...

Age: 22 Sex:Female
https://ibb.co/YBtRkqg
Lump is on the Circle.
Before i notice it, i had Sudden toothpains, nose pressure, forehead pressure, Facial shooting pains in cheeksbones, nosebridge.
Swaying balance
Under my chin lymph nodes gets hurts/sore sometimes but no lump.
I've been sneezing a lot of times too everyday
Runny nose/stuffy nose all day
Sometimes sore throat/strep throat
Random hoarse voice
I dont think its a mono i never kiss someone or shared a bottles or spoons & forks lol
Also had small tiny bruises on my legs appears day by day. yellow,green,purple.
Random right ear ringing

I accidentally took too much mestinon- 360mg instead of 120. My throat feels tight and some difficulty swallowing but ok breathing, am I having a cholinergic crisis? Should I go to hospital or wait and see if it settles down?

A subliminal is something that will work regardless of a mindset. What it does is it reprograms your mind by replacing your old beliefs with new ones. But why do people still don't get results? 1) Maybe they're not consistent? (They switch playlist often) 2) Maybe they have a strong resistance (negative thoughts towards their desire or the subliminal itself) 3) Not having faith in Subliminal at all?
4) Fear of not getting results if stayed consistent to a certain sub (and thinking that they wasted their time doing that)
5) Always seek perfection
The technique that you can add up to your day to day routine.
1) Make a new chat or group chat in your Whatsapp or Telegram or you can even create a new email and name it "Universe" (or "God" if you're religious). And act as you're writing a mail to the Universe/God. Thanking them on how grateful you are. How happy you are about your desires, Describe how they helped you in your journey, how you always get results. Inshort, take it this way, you're a person who met God/Universe months ago and they gave you a blessing for your successful life and now everything works in your favor. So what you do is write them as if you're writing an email to God/Universe on how great your journey is going and how thankful you are to them.
Once you do this, use text to speech to convert it to audio, I would recommend https://www.dupdub.com/text-to-speech
They have emotive speech. Which means the words are emotionally charged, which will help the subconscious grab better. Now use that audio and make a silent subliminal by following Rasen_God's post. https://www.reddit.com/useRasen_God/comments/z5r7iu/how_to_create_a_subliminal_audio_requires_pc/ Yes you can use a theta audio and layer it. Note: i wouldn't recommend layering affirmations, you can do it but max two should be fine.
And now comes the fun part, once you download that audio, now use it as your alarm at 3:33 am. The reason I said 3:33 am is because every person has different sleep schedule. And here comes another interesting part, there's something called REM(Rapid Eye Movement) period: "The phase of sleep in which most dreams occur. During REM sleep, a person’s brain activity, breathing, heart rate, and blood pressure increase, and the eyes move rapidly while closed. The muscles in the arms and legs become temporarily unable to move. REM sleep is thought to play an important role in memory and learning. During normal sleep, a person goes through four to five sleep cycles that last about 90 minutes each and include both REM sleep and non-REM sleep (light to deep sleep). Also called rapid eye movement sleep."
And the REM period doesn't happen consistently it lasts up to 90mins each cycle. And i feel like the most common will be around 3am.(3:33 is just for being fancy - angel number). Altho You can use multiple alarms but i believe one should be good n enough. What i feel like the sub will work the best in REM period.
An example of the script: I feel so good today. I love myself so much. I just love everything about me Thank you universe. i’m so grateful to you for making everything work in my favour. thank you universe, thank you for helping a lot in my journey. I am an expert in manifesting now. I usually get all the results within 24 hours now. Sometimes i get results instantly. isn’t that impressive? I recently used a subliminal for clear skin and guess what! i got results only within just a few minutes. Isn't that so coooool? life is so easy now. my skin is so clean and clear now. i am so handsome and good looking. thank you universe, thank you for making my skin so clear. i remember, few days ago a girl came up to me and said that i look really very attractive and i have a glass skin. she also said that my face was the most glowing and charming face that she ever saw in her entire life. i am just so happy today. I'm so grateful to the universe for making everything work out perfectly, I'm so full of love and laughter, it's like I have a giant smile on my face constantly."
I am so happy i finally understood detachment. I don’t expect results anymore. its funny to see how i just don’t care about them anymore. thank you universe. thank you for making me detach from all of my expectations and making me live in the end every time. I am also having a very good quality sleep these days. And you know what? I get super vivid lucid dreams everyday about my desires and i love it. Yes, you heard it right, i lucid dream every night. I feel so fresh and energetic waking up early morning. I feel so confident every time. My life has improved a lot, so much improved that if i listen to a particular subliminal topic today, i get results within 24 hours anyhow regardless of anything. Isn’t that cool? I'm bursting with gratitude and joy, the universe has done such an amazing job and the results are mindblowing!. I have the best life ever, my life is so good, i am so happy, thank you universe, i love you.
------What to include in the script----- 1) self love
2) detachment
3) gratitude and joy
4) an example of how a person complimented you 5) you've become expert in manifesting now
there's an option to select what emotion you want. I personally like "excited" and "cheerful"
You see the bold paragraph? if you choose to layer, make it a bit different than than the first para. I know some people say using same voice for layers still works but i like to play safe, so use different voices for each of them
One tip from me: Control your emotions, Yes you heard that right. If you had a bad day, be happy still. Always be happy no matter how bad the situation is. I know its hard to now show up the actual emotions but that's what sorts out the winners from the losers. When you learn to control your emotions, you get more n more stable. Your subconscious is no more messed up now, i believe it aligns with the conscious (which makes it easy to manifest).
-----------The End-------------
Also, i have started using subliminals now. I've just been following knowledge all these days. I'm 2 months into subs, i haven't been consistent with any of the subs, i enjoyed researching more than listening to subs. I'm now kinda done with all the study(will still do a lil bit everyday).
This will be my routine.
I divided it with two phases. 1) Morning 2) Night
before that, i want to say that i'm kinda interested in v1er's subliminals rn. Yes i know making your own subs are better but still, idk i really liked v1per's style of making subs and affirmations. 1) Morning
I will listen to MOAB 1.0 and then my playlist 3x-5x
2) Night
I will listen to MOAB 2.0 and then my playlist Note: If you're using v1per's subs as me, use the LION formula for night, i do that too. So listen to 2.0 once and then LION playlist once.
That's all
Yes i know MOAB 1.0 and 2.0 both in a day might be overkill but i have a solution for that 😉
(S Module)
{S} = {MOAB 1.0 Legacy[ItsaKid(2024)]} X {MOAB 2.0[ItsaKid(2023)]}
{R Module}
{R} = {MOAB 1.0 Legacy[ItsaKid(2024)]}
{R} = {MOAB 2.0[ItsaKid(2023)]}
{E Module}
{E} = {MOAB 1.0 Legacy[ItsaKid(2024)]
-obsession
-crying
-mental breakdowns
-nightmares
-sweating
-eating more
-pain
-headache
-sore throat
-negative thoughts}
{E} = {MOAB 2.0[ItsaKid(2023)]}
-obsession
-crying
-mental breakdowns
-nightmares
-sweating
-eating more
-pain
-headache
-sore throat
-negative thoughts}
Yes you can use the A module for a certain sub and add a magic formula there. Here's the magic formula:
example:
{A]= { Clear skin [Synergy(2017-ish)

• heal scars
• pale skin + overnight results }

note: these are just my theories that i came up with. and its experimental. I haven't tested it yet. I just have tested the MOAB E module thing and it worked for me, i didn't feel a single side effect at all. Sometimes i felt a few of these, but that just lasted like a few seconds lol. The E module is powerful.
Upvote if you like the post, your upvotes make me feel like it was worth writing the post and it inspires me to write more such. :)
peace

Everything was going perfectly until this morning, pain was diminishing and yesterday I felt I could do it without painkillers. The night was pretty easy, I never woke up BUT the morning is currently rough. It’s been an hour and a half since I woke up and for the past 30 minutes I’m trying to take down this breakfast smoothie (protein powder, banana, milk). Even though it is bad, 7.5/10 pain while swallowing, it is BEARABLE. Chronic tonsillitis is tough so even though this is challenging I will not give up on eating and drinking fluids, and I advise anyone going through the procedure the same outlook. It will get better with each day, and my current goal is only to finish this day to then start the next one.

So basically it’s exactly as the title says. No pain besides the initial poke and it was a tiny bit sore the first hour afterwards but then nothing. I got it three days ago and the lady who did it told me there would be swelling and some soreness for a few days at least. And that’s why I would need to get it downsized since the barbell is longer to account for swelling. But never once has it swelled to the point where the barbell was not hanging down.
Not to mention it’s no longer painful in the slightest. As in while I was drying off the remaining saline from when I was cleaning it I poked it with the paper towel I was using and no pain. Maybe I shouldn’t have done this but I was curious so I moved it around a bit more. And nothing. I felt the piercing there obviously but there was no actual pain.
It’s funny because all of this goes against everything my piercer told me, and everything the consultant told me, and everything that I’ve been seeing online. This is my first non-ear piercing though so what do I know? Maybe it’s completely normal.
I don’t know if this is a bad thing per say. And I’m still going to care for it like normal. I’m going to be in that area in a few days so I might head into the shop and ask about it. Especially since the barbell keeps getting caught on my hair and the last thing I want is to snag the piercing badly.

Prior to pregnancy I was at a healthy normal weight and had no issues with mobility, I wasn't super fit but I'm naturally a bit of a lazy gal. Once I got pregnant I became even more lazy, first it was the 1st trimester nausea and fatigue making me hate even walking but then once my belly was actually big it was just uncomfortable being on my feet for very long.
Towards the end I had gained around 55lbs and it was absolutely horrible getting up out of a chair or out of bed as it put soo much strain on my knees. Now I'm 2.5 weeks postpartum I'm still about 37lbs heavier than pre pregnancy weight and my knees are doing worse. I think it's all the standing up I've been doing whilst holding the baby, I can't see this situation improving as babe is only going to get heavier and I have no choice but to stand up with her (i.e she falls asleep in my arms so I get up to put her in her bassinet).
It's got me feeling low because in reality that is only one of several painful symptoms and I guess I'm a bit over it, I fully expected and accepted the pain that would accompany giving birth but I swear it's worse now a couple weeks in than it was in those first few days after birth? I had an episiotomy and it was initially quite low maintenance but now my bleeding is even heavier and it hurts down there when I stand up even for a couple of minutes.
I'm also now "backed up" because it's too painful to sit on the toilet for more than a few seconds and my stitches area just burns and throbs. Oh and of course I have to have a giant haemorrhoid on my ass to accompany it and make it even more impossible to use the bathroom.
Then my final straw was this morning realising i've injured or somehow pulled a muscle in my shoulder which was probably due to me holding the baby in a silly way to accommodate the rest of my random pains, so moving around is even more painful and limited. My wrist is also sore constantly as I suffered from carpal tunnel in pregnancy and while that seems to be gone now it's like it's left me a lasting injury anyway.
I know I'm just feeling sorry for myself and that it could be MUCH worse but I think I just needed to vent because it feels like I'm in constant pain if not here then there and it's tiring. My partner can only sympathise so much when he doesn't know what any of it feels like. I'm only 27 and it feels like my body has already given up lol. Anyone else feel this?

i need so much attention. im hurting.
my body hurts. my soul hurts.
my friends are leaving me. my best friend is getting stationed in virginia. im soon moving away from my boyfriend. my family is far and i have missed the birth of my little brother. i have only met him through pictures.
now i have a cough. i feel horrible. i feel sick. my throat is sore. my back is hurting so bad.
today i thought my fucking back support came in the mail. but it says failed delivery instead. my back pain is getting worse every day. i cant take this i need drugs or something else.
jesus please help me im your daughter😭
i tend to bottle it all up. then cry it out.

I had a call with my doctor last week about my mental health, and I had a bit of a breakdown about how much my pain is affecting me. It has just passed a year since I started feeling constant, debilitating pain that has left me pretty much housebound. I’ve been really hesitant when asking for prescription pain medication for the past year as I was hyper aware of what it could come off as as a 20 year old uni student asking, so I have just never brought it up and just asked for scans and checkups etc, and took over the counter meds daily. I was given codeine at an A&E visit during a horrible episode, and it helped although made me incredibly tired and stupid, so I wasn’t interested in asking for any more opioids.
Last week I think something in me snapped and I realised I didn’t have to live this life that is making me so anxious and depressed and I have the right to request my pain be managed, and I pretty much told him “I can’t imagine living like this for the next however many years until my surgery. I’m not functioning and it’s killing me”. He faffed about for a bit, telling me “well I’m not really sure what to do to be honest” and “I’m not sure there’s much I can do for you to help in this case” and “When you phoned today what were you hoping I’d say” and I just persisted with “I want advice on the best route for me to take to get this pain under control until I get the surgery”, and finally he offered me tramadol to take as needed (despite sounding very unhappy about it). I’ve only taken one in the past week as I’ve decided only to use them when my pain is affecting my ability to complete tasks, but when I did, oh my God. Within an hour my pain was down to a 2 (a number I very rarely feel), and after 7 hours or so it climbed back up to its usual non-flare up level. I was able to just skip a quick flare up until the baseline pain reached a level I can deal with. It doesn’t make me feel drowsy (in fact I feel a little more energised), it doesn’t make me stupid and stoned like codeine, maybe just a tiny bit more chilled out than usual.
Just knowing that I have this to fall back on when I know I’m going into a flare up has reduced my anxiety tenfold, and knowing that if I have an event or a class to show up to and I’m too sore, there’s now a chance I could make it is a security that I haven’t felt in years. I hope I won’t need them forever, but knowing I have something to pull me over until the next step is such a relief on both my mind and my body.
In conclusion, doctors who say controlled drugs are not appropriate treatments for chronic pain need to go back to school. I am so grateful toward myself for making this choice and standing up for myself.

Hello ACL community and specifically the ones who’ve had a patellar tendon graft,
My PT exercises are becoming way more challenging now that I’m hitting the 8-week postop mark. And the worst thing during exercises is the pain I feel at the top of my knee. It happens when I exercise and also while I’m sore. My physical therapist says it’s normal and will get better as I get stronger, but when did it start improving for you?
Thanks so much

For context, I'm working a job as a sleep away camp counselor this summer which means I'll be on my feet almost all day, and I'm looking for a way to limit the pain it causes me (sore feet and rolled ankles). I had a coworker last year who walked with a crutch but had a lot of difficulty with it due to the uneven ground in the forest, so I've ruled that out as an option for myself. Does anyone have any experience using hiking poles as a mobility aid or have suggestions for a better alternative?
side note: I don't need a mobility aid full time or anything, but I'm just hoping to find something that I can use as needed during my inevitable flare ups.

Quite a saga. I'll just use point form:
1) noticed preferred running on the beach barefoot. Discovered this sub.
2) started running in wetsuit shoes every day just for 10mins
3) shoes wore out quickly, but always on the outside edge
4) started getting knee discomfort. Not pain; just discomfort
5) this subreddit helped me pin it down to technique. Specifically supination.
6) improving technique helped only a little. Bought some new shoes for work. Far more comfortable, but we'll come back to that
7) turned out that I get inflammation after eating. Inflammation preferentially attacks cartlidge. A combination of turmeric, and eating different foods helped me compare the difference to figure this out. Apparently, this is a normal process in arthritis. I never would have figured this out without barefoot running putting pressure on my knees.
It also turns out that the reason some people say knees can regenerate and some say they can't is due to different people referring to different things. Cartlidge reforms all the time as a normal process... But only if it hasn't worn down completely, and worn down the epiphyseal plates with it. In that case it won't regrow in its own.
8) I now started getting sore ankles until one day...
9) I woke up with a very sore left ankle. Specifically, on the posterior tibia tendon. I could then run in it again, but I woke up sore again. In fact, every day I just woke up sore again. I was able to get it moving again each day, yet no real pain while running. Just very subtle discomfort.
So I...
10) tried running flat footed in sneakers. It helped, but not much
So I ... 11) stopped running completely.
12) and started considering flat foot.
13) I then realised that the shoes I bought for work had an ortho insert built in. I noticed when I bought them but didn't think much of it. But switching to looser shoes made me notice that these other shoes allow my toes to start working like walking barefoot. Conclusion: the insert weakened the muscle under foot including the adductor hallucis. This in turn put extra tension on the tendon, leading to injury when I ran.
So now I can't run. Barefoot running was involved in the problem, but wasn't the underlying cause.
Tdlr; check inflammation, check ordinary shoes, cross train, build slowly, beware of shoe changes
On the one hand I never would have discovered all this if not for bare foot running, but on the other, here I am unable to run. I'm trying to put less pressure on the ankle tendon when I walk; it's the one on the inside leg under the ankle bump. I think it's the posterior tibial tendon.
I hope this helps someone out there. Thanks for listening to my Ted talk.

26 AMAB treated for a suspected PE 3 years ago stopped Eliquis 1.5 mo ago, panic disorder, no prescription meds, less than 6 units of alcohol per week on average, former smoker, moderate use of nic vape.
About 1 week ago, I recovered from a cold perfectly normally, but still coughing up thick white phlegm. I've started using a new toothbrush and that's been knocking off a bunch of plaque.
Not sure if those are related, but over the last two days, my entire body has been super sore out of nowhere and my thighs and calves have been twitching. It's much worse when I'm sleepy, but other than that, it's pretty constant. The pain is throwing off my sleep schedule and making it hard to get out of bed, so my life is a mess because of whatever is wrong. I've tried to make sure I'm hidrated and have taken Tylenol and Ibuprofen, but that's not helping.
I've never had anything like this happen to me before and I can't afford to go to the doctors office for another thing that's just anxiety related. Is there anything serious that could be causing this, or am I good to just try to wait it out?

I will try to keep this short. I have a kind of love/hate relationship with my ex. Our relationship ended decades ago, and for a while we didn't really talk, but after a few years were able to be friends. Until a few months ago, we saw each other every day, and would help each other out, as we kind of needed each other. We both moved abroad when we were young (separately, we met here) and have no family in our current country.
While I kind of "needed" him, and he me, I would drive me nuts. He couldn't open his mouth without annoying me. Our personalities are very different, hence why our relationship ended after 6 years. We would be driving along, and he would be going on about whatever, and I would just say hmmm at intervals, while in my head I would be screaming at him, "Just shut up! WTF can't you just shut up! Stop talking rubbish!" etc, but always along the lines of stop talking, and just shut up. I often actually said it, but it made no difference. While I was screaming at him in my head, I had an intense feeling of irritation, so strong, it was also a physical feeling, filling up my entire chest/stomach area.
Anyway, long story short, at the end of Feb he got a fever, and cold/flu symptoms. He was in bed, and I was going to his place to do his chores, make him food etc, which sounds nice of me, but I really resented having to go. The cold then developed into what he thought was gout, then his shoulders became very painful. After a week of him getting into bed with the cold/flu, I called an ambulance. He was taken to hospital and ended up in Intensive Care on life support for 20 days. His body had gone into sceptic shock. They do not know what caused it. He was in an induced coma and almost died several times. After about 5 weeks, he was moved out of Intensive, to a floor for critical/semi critical patients. He was awake more now, but could not talk because of a tracheostomy tube. They wanted to take it out about 10 days ago, but found he had a throat infection, which had given him nodules, and had to wait for them to go. So the last week, he was communicating by nodding, shaking his head, and writing on a pad.
Two days ago, he had the tube removed, and could finally talk again. Needless to say, not for the first time during these last few months, I was crying with happiness just to hear his voice. I won't go into how hard the last few months have been for me trying to cope with my own stuff, his, every other day hospital visits (45 miles away), and taking care of both of our animals etc.
A few days ago, it struck me that I had manifested this situation. I had wished very strongly that he would just shut up, and it happened. Of course, the way it happened is not what I wanted, I h¡just wanted him to talk less, or only when he had something of interest to say. I have learned a very hard lesson, but I had held the intention for him to shut up with strong emotions, almost every day, over a period of time.
I am now trying to work out steps to reverse engineer this into something I do want. I guess I did the screaming in my head for at least 10 minutes, almost every day, for several months. Of course, I could shout in my head for what I do want, but I don't know how to word it, or how to bring about the intense emotions and feelings I had when it was something I found extremely irritable/negative.
Any ideas?
The good news is, he is improving every day, and hopefully should be out in a week or two. I will not be doing that again. Just very grateful he got through it.

Warning: Mentions of violence, blood, and some self harm near the end.
While browsing some random conspiracy site, I found what is a supposedly leaked file from the Nevada County Sheriff's Department; however, nothing has been confirmed. According to the OP, it is believed the following is the personal account of a 21 year old Jonathan Ashford of Grass Valley, California. Normally I would write stuff like this off but this one is...different. I’ve done my best to correct most of the grammar and misspelling while at the same time trying to avoid skewing the original account.
-September 15, 2022
I’ve never really been an outdoor person. Well, I guess that’s because I’ve never really been outdoors much in the first place. And that’s because I guess…I've never been invited? I don’t really have any friends. So, needless to say, I was surprised to find myself on a backpacking trip with a group of 5 other students from my university. The plan was five days in Tahoe National Forest some place called Mystery Lake. Monday-Friday. I don’t know why they decided to do it during the week. Most of us had okay grades at best and part time jobs on the side so taking a week off of it all seemed at the very least a bit irresponsible; and yet, I went anyway. Listen, I didn’t plan it, okay? This was one of my only chances to get to know people. The hike wasn’t too long but my genius self who had only been backpacking once when I was around 9 years old or so decided to carry 60 pounds of bullshit up the mountain resulting in my shoulders being sore and raw for the foreseeable future.
-10:11 PM
To be honest, I don’t really know why they let me come with them. I only know one of them and the group has been ignoring me for pretty much the entire trip. I was always bringing up the back on the hike in and I set up my tent outside of the main camp behind some trees. I haven’t eaten any meals with them or talked to them or, now that I think about it, anything really. Regardless. The trip has been an experience. Hopefully things get more exciting tomorrow.
-September 16
I’ve only ever slept in a tent a couple times so the new environment and lack of sleeping pills resulted in quite a restless night. I woke up at about eleven; everyone else was gone. I remembered they were talking about a day hike on a trail headed north so assuming that’s where they went, I hurried to get dressed and grabbed some granola bars. I’m about to head out. I hope I find them.
-12:21 PM
I’d been briskly walking for around an hour and was feeling quite exhausted so when I heard the group’s voices off in the distance I was very relieved. I started to jog in their direction when–when this jolt or–wave of energy flooded my mind. My head instantly started throbbing and my vision went blurry. The best way I could describe it is–TV static? Like the old TVs that would go all staticky when the signal got bad. I could barely make out shapes and a space in the middle of my vision was especially dark to the point where I couldn’t see past it. That wasn’t the worst of it, though. God no, if only I was that lucky. I can still hear the shrieking. That goddamn shrieking. In an instant all I could hear was this sharp, scratchy shrieking. It pierced through my ears and rooted itself in my head. I think I cried out in pain but even if I did I couldn’t have heard it. It was as if the damned souls of hell all cried out in eternal pain all at once and begged for death. I gripped and pulled at my hair, hardly noticing the pain that resulted from it as I fell to my knees in agony before…
I slowly opened my eyes. My head hurt and there was a slight buzzing in my ears. I lay in a pile of ivy next to a fallen log, my back dampened from the cool soil beneath me. I stood up, the hill on which I previously stood was nowhere in sight. As I leaned my shoulder against a tree to steady myself I heard voices. Cautiously, I walked through the foliage as the low vines dragged along my ankles. As I walked, I looked up. The falling sun cast a soft orange glow across the sky. It was probably around five O’clock or so. I climbed up on a large rock only to realize I was near the main camp. I pin-pointed the voices of my fellow campers as they huddled around a low-burning campfire. As I sat down to listen to them speak I could sense a strong feeling of uneasiness resonating from the group. Then it hit me.
“Are you sure you haven’t seen her since earlier this afternoon?” One of them said, I think his name was Matthew? He was tall and lean, by far the tallest in the group.
“I’m sure! It just doesn’t make sense. One minute she was behind me going on about who knows what and then the next when I turn around she’s gone!” A girl with light brown hair said. I didn’t know her name. I could see tears forming at the corner of her eyes as the wind blew her hair into her face.
“We need to find her before it gets dark. Groups of two; stick together!” A shorter man with brown hair said. Ryan. He was the only one I knew. We weren’t friends. Definitely not. But he was nice enough to me in the classes we had together and I was grateful that I was able to go on the trip with him. As he walked past the boulder I sat beside, paying me no mind, I saw his lower lip quiver as his wide eyes looked straight ahead. He was more nervous than he led on. I zoned out for a few seconds, the static from earlier crawling its way into the corners of my vision when a chipmunk climbing a tree snapped me back to reality and I realized I had been left at camp. I looked around at the tall forest but the group was nowhere in sight. I assumed they wanted me to wait at camp in case the missing girl, Alice, came back, but as I moved toward the dying campfire the call of nature occupied my thoughts. I found a spade and a roll of toilet paper and strode briskly into the forest, the cool Autumn air rushing against my chapped lips as I walked. I reached over to scratch an itch on my arm when I saw it.
“The fuck?” I wondered out loud. There on my upper forearm was…a bite mark. I rattled my brain trying to think what could have made that kind of mark. As I examined it more I confirmed my suspicions. It seemed human. At least I think it was human. It’s not like there are any goddamn monkeys native to Middle of Nowhere, California. There was also a dark purple bruise on my lower forearm. Didn’t remember getting that either.
I looked around for a good spot. Stepping over a log, I set my foot down on something soft. It was Alice. Her right hand crushed and mangled and a dried trickle of blood at the corner of her mouth had pooled on a flattened leaf. I screamed, tripping and falling back in the direction I hoped was the camp. As I jumped over a rock I landed hard on my left ankle as a streak of pain shot up through my body. I was trying to get back up when I heard it. The screeching. It steadily yet quickly faded in until it flooded my hearing. My vision was clouded by that same static. I curled up into a ball, kicking at the air. My eyes watered and I felt the urge to vomit…
A wave of dizziness hit me as I opened my eyes and fell on my tailbone, pain shooting up my back. I lay down on my back and looked up at the trees, my nose bloody. It was still dark. Had I been standing? I tried to recall what I had been doing but all I remembered were faded images. One thing I didn’t forget was the screeching. All that I could remember was covered by that screeching and a faint veil of that static. Just thinking about it made my head throb.
A groan. I nearly jumped out of my skin as I turned to look in the sound’s direction. It was David. He looked injured, lying on the ground, but quickly crawled back in what looked like fear when he saw me.
“You bitch!” He muttered between gritted teeth. Before I could react he was up on his feet charging in my direction. I tried to doge him but the wind was quickly knocked out of me as he headbutted me in the stomach. I fell back onto the ground and between coughs I saw him running towards me. Before he could deliver a heavy stomp to my chest I caught his foot and kicked up into his groin. He stumbled back with a low yelp of pain and, taking my chance while he was stunned, I stood up as fast as I could and prepared to block another attack. He ran up to me and attempted to deliver a blow to my stomach with his right fist, leaving his upper body undefended; I used the opportunity to send a hard punch into the side of his neck. He fell back choking, tears in his eyes. As he tried to sit down he tripped on a root and hit his head on a nearby boulder with a sickening crack. He squirmed for a moment, then nothing.
Silence. There was a faint red stain on the side of the rock, and beneath his blood-stained hair, his head seemed unnervingly misshapen. The closer I looked, the more I saw. Bruised neck, flowing blood, even some pinkish bone exposed near the worst of the damage to his skull. The fall must’ve been worse than I thought. Why would he attack me? What was wrong with him? Had he mistaken me for someone else? I sat against the blood-stained boulder and leaned my head back. I’m exhausted. Everything hurts. My ankle is throbbing. I can’t remember how long it’s been since I’ve slept and I don’t know what to do. I should probably go try to find the camp but…I’m too tired. I think I’m going to go to sleep now.
-September 18
I slept through the entire day and most of the night! Or, at least I think I did. The more I think about it I’m not so sure. It’s like 2:30 AM, glad my phone still works even if my brain doesn’t, just wish I had signal. I’m not sure what to do but I might try to go find
-4:29 AM
Something’s definitely out here with us. Or–me. Not sure how many of the others are left out here. I’m sure that shrieking is tied to something. I heard something off in the distance while writing and decided to go check it out. It was Matthew and that other girl. They were walking briskly and their eyes seemed to be darting around frantically. They were talking in hushed tones but from what I heard they found Alice's body, and they were worried. I was about to reveal myself to them when the shrieking came back. It hit me like a train, and sometimes I think a train would have hurt less. It felt like it lasted for hours, I bit a hole through my lip and fell off of the boulder I was sitting on. I couldn’t see anything except a dark patch of static in the middle of my vision surrounded by more static. All the cuts and bruises in my body seemed to amplify and I could barely breathe. I just wanted it to stop but it wouldn’t. It wouldn’t stop.
The two were dead when I came to. I wasn’t much better off myself. No matter how much I spit I can’t get the taste of blood out of my mouth. My arms are covered in cuts and bruises and my shoulder was dislocated. That was a fun half hour figuring out how to put it back in place. I think whatever is out here with us clouds your vision and makes it impossible to hear anything as a way to hunt you. I’m amazed it hasn’t killed me yet. I hope Ryan is still out there.
-6:06 AM
It’s been a long night. A really long night. I found Ryan but–but now I wish I hadn’t. It was around five AM I think, I had been aimlessly wandering through the forest looking for something, anything. By the most unlucky luck Ryan came stumbling around a tree. When he saw me his eyes went wide.
“Jon, what the hell?” Then he squinted his eyes and seemed to notice the wounds on my arm.
“Oh god,” he said. Then, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small knife, glaring at me during the process. Before I could reply, he charged me, knife in hand. I–I didn't want to kill him. I really didn’t. He tackled me to the ground, forcing the knife close to my chest. I desperately tried to push him away and being the stronger one, I knocked him off me. As he hurried to get back on top of me I sent my right leg flying into his arm, knocking the knife from his hand. Before he realized what was happening I grabbed the knife from the ground. In what seemed like a last desperate attempt he tried to force me down again but, already having the knife in my hand, I quickly slashed his chest and one of his wrists without thinking. I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t mean to kill him! I was just defending myself. I don’t know why he attacked me, what’s gotten into him and David? Is that thing controlling them? They didn’t seem like they were under some kind of spell…I don’t think so at least.
After a soft cry of pain he collapsed and rolled down the steep hill we were standing on. I didn’t bother looking for his body. No point. Odds are that thing would use his body as a trap for me or something. I don’t know anymore.
Somehow I found my way back. I don’t remember how, all I remember is collapsing against a tree out of exhaustion but, here I am at the trailhead. I guess my half dead brain forgot most of it. I don’t know what I’ll do now, I don’t think I’ll tell the police. If they hear that some creepy ghost creature is hiding out in the forest killing my friends I’ll probably get locked up in who the fuck knows where for who the fuck knows what. But, no matter how many or how few believe me, I know something is out there. And I know it’s dangerous. I doubt the bodies will ever be found. That forest is huge and I buried Matthew and Elizabeth, found her name in a backpack she had on.
This will be my last entry. My name is Jonathan Ashford, and I survived something dangerous in the Tahoe national forest. Whatever you do, do not go there. Goodbye.
-September 22, 2022, 5:06 PM
Ryan survived. The police are after me. Apparently he told them I stalked them in the forest and picked them off when they weren’t together. I don’t know what’s happening. There are some gaps in my memory but I know that I didn’t kill those people. I only killed David, and that was self defense. I’m not sure what I’ll do. The police don’t know where I am but I’m sure that won’t last long.
-8:19 PM
I saw an interview with Ryan on the local news while browsing channels. He seemed–off. There were bags under his eyes and his skin was pale. He seemed nervous, shaky. I hope he’s ok. I still don’t understand why he thinks I killed them.
-September 23, 3:12 AM
ok ok. I have a theory. I’ve been up all night thinking and it makes so much sense now. That thing can shriek. Terrifying right? But explainable. The static I still can’t make sense of, there’s no feasible way it could naturally do that. What if whatever supernatural force causes the static can also control people? Maybe that’s why Ryan looks so crazy. It must be controlling him. But why would it want me? Am I immune to its effects? Maybe.
-6:04 AM
They didn’t notice it. It didn’t hit them. When I was spying on Matthew and Elizabeth, right before they were–anyways.
The shrieking hit my ears before the static hit my eyes and in those few seconds, they didn’t notice. It didn’t affect them. They didn’t hear the shrieking. Maybe the shrieking is that monster thing's abilities failing to control me. Maybe that's why ryan-whatever’s controlling Ryan wants me. It’s because I’m a threat to it. Because It can’t control me. When I woke up I was injured, but never killed like the others. Maybe it doesn’t have as much power over me as others.
But why would the authorities believe Ryan? There’s no way his story can add up. Even if that creature, that thing, is intelligent, it can’t be that smart to fake a story. Why are they after me?
-11:42 PM
The police came by today. I was about to update this log again when they started banging on my door. I was able to sneak out a window before they noticed me, glad I live on the ground floor.
Something seemed off about them. I can’t say what but, something, like the uncanny valley effect, where something looks human but isn't. Whatever. It’s probably just my imagination. I need sleep.
-September 24, 2:20 AM
Something is wrong–something is definitely wrong. How did they find me? Holy shit that was close! I was dozing by a couple of dumpsters behind a gas station. Figured it was safe enough since it was out of the way and partly blocked by a fence until I heard dogs barking. Not sure how many of them there are, at least two–maybe three, I can still hear them barking. I figured they were just strays that would hopefully leave me alone until I saw the lights. Damn things half-blinded me!
“Son, what are you doing back here? Can we walk to you?” one of the officers said, his face was clammy and pale, he seemed tired, he seemed–off. I didn’t respond or wait for them to try and get closer, I dashed past them before they could call their dogs on me and jumped the fence, running into the tree line. I managed to climb my way up a tree a ways into the woods before they could get around the fence and send their dogs out. They haven’t found me yet, but they’re still looking for me. I can see their flashlights periodically bathing the tree line in a pale glow. I think I’ll try to wait them out and then climb down and run for as long as I can. Not sure where I’ll go yet but they keep finding me so I’ll have to get creative. Not sure how they’re finding me so quickly and easily, but maybe I can come up with something. Is that–thing finding me? Does it always know where I am? Is it controlling the police? Maybe that's why they looked so…wrong. I don’t know. I’m starting to think I don’t know anything anymore. I keep noticing the static in the corner of my vision occasionally, not sure why.
-September 24, 5:03 PM
I fucked up. Big time. Last night, somehow, I fell asleep. I don’t know how, guess I was just too exhausted. The sound of a helicopter pierced through the top of the tree line. Before I could register everything, I slipped and fell down the tree. I was able to slow my fall a bit by dragging my hands along the tree–hurt like a bitch–but I still landed hard. Can barely sit down. I think I was able to avoid being detected by the helicopter. I’m going to start walking. Not sure where but, I need to go somewhere. The static is constantly in the corner of my vision whenever I focus on it now. Why is this happening?
-10:44 PM
This doesn’t make any sense, I don’t know what's happening anymore! I was wandering through the forest when the static came back. God, it was awful, forgot how bad it was. Hell, maybe it was worse this time. Who knows. This isn’t the weirdest, or worst, part. I woke up in my apartment, I’m exhausted, but don’t have any new visible injuries despite how shitty I feel. Not sure why that thing didn’t try to hurt me, maybe it gave up on trying.
The news was on when I woke up, God I’m so fucked. They found the bodies–the ones that I buried. Of course they found my DNA all over them, used their forensics or whatever to try to explain how I killed everyone. I’ll have to admit if it wasn’t all a setup by some evil entity out to get me it would be pretty convincing. Sometimes–I find myself believing it. I don’t know what to think at this point, nothing makes sense anymore. The static is far more noticeable now. My head is starting to hurt, too.
They haven’t come back to my apartment yet, probably don’t think I would return this soon after they searched the place. I know they’ll be here eventually but I’m too tired to care right now. My brother and his kids used to live a few hours out of town, I think he built a treehouse for his kids somewhere behind the house. Maybe I’ll go try and hide out there for as long as I can. As if that will be very long at all.
-September 26, 6:24 PM
Everywhere I look, everything I watch. They’re always out for me. Everyone is looking for me. The things the police and the media keep saying about me–the evidence that gets released every day, the testimonies, officials saying I have symptoms of psychological problems like psychosis and DID, of Bipolar. More and more–I’m starting to believe it myself. Surely it's that thing. Surely it’s getting in my head…right?
-September 27, 1:03 PM
Made it to the treehouse, glad it’s still here. Had a few close calls along the way when trying to steal food from gas stations but I made it ok. Glad I did, the static is starting to really cloud my vision and my head hurts so bad my ears are starting to ring. I’m not out of the woods yet, that’s for sure. I can sense them...it. They’re trailing me. I think they’re getting close.
I’m so tired, so confused. I don’t know what to do, what to think anymore. What’s next? Maybe I’ll try to get some rest…if I can, that is.
I could try to come up with something, some silver bullet or whatever. I have this one idea, it’s not smart or clever, not even close, but it’s an idea, and it won’t let it–them–it, whatever, win. At least I don’t think it will; besides, surely it has a bigger plan for me, right? There’s no way it would go through all this effort just to kill me…
-4:39
They found me. I can hear them outside. They’re getting closer.
To be honest, I don’t know anymore. Maybe I did kill all those people, maybe I am insane. I don’t know what to believe. There’s so much being said, so many people saying it. I’m just so confused, so tired, so scared.
There's a bomb on the chair beside me, homemade. Glad I grabbed enough supplies to build it. Took me a while to figure it out as well as a few close calls but I think I got it working. They’ll have quite the surprise waiting for them once they find me…
They’re at the base of the tree now. The static has almost completely consumed my vision and my head feels like it’s about to explode. I don’t know what’s real and what’s not anymore. I’m not sure why I was made the target of this, why this is happening to me at all, but regardless of the reason, I won’t let them win.
To the creature, or entity, to whatever is doing this to me: I’ll see you in Hell.
Goodbye
Aside from some generic legal stuff to conclude the report, that’s where the document ends. I’m not sure what to make of it. Definitely a lot to take in. I contacted the OP on the site I got this from but haven’t received a response yet, will update if I receive one. For now my only advice is be careful, and don’t go backpacking in Tahoe National Forest. If anyone has any thoughts or info, please, let me know.