Kitchen box plans

Hi! My and my roommate are looking for summer subletters for our apartment from mid-June (6/16) to the end of August. We aren't planning on returning as one of us are graduating, so a lease takeover is also possible.
Information about the unit:

• $2400/mo (+ electricity), but pricing is flexible!
• 1 bed and 1.5 bath
• Located close to campus (~15 min walk) on south Kelton
• Can be furnished (bed + desk) or unfurnished
• Full kitchen (fridge, dishwasher, microwave, oven)
• A/C in the bedroom
• Keyless access
• Up to 3 people
• A parking spot may also be arranged

Pictures of the place are here: https://imgur.com/a/QeP0Mv6
Please DM if you are interested or have any questions!

Flat our we lost because of turnovers. We could have been up by 6 or 8 at half if it wasn't for the dozen turnovers. The rest of this is part rant, vent, and personal opinion/observation.
Cons first cuz this is a vent.
Kyle Anderson is worthless. He might get some steals and turnovers, but he can't do anything with them. Use Monte Morris or someone who acts as a second or third threat from the arc with edwards and Townes. Then they can't just double edwards all game.
Gobert never should have came back at all. Why was anyone thinking that would be a good idea. Has anyone ever been a new parent before? He took time to be there for the birth, which means he is there helping with the baby and getting maybe 4 hours of sleep a night. He isn't going to be 100% after that, and why risk it? Game 2 proved we didn't need him. Gobert needs rest and we need to win game 6, don't let him play. He had zero affect on Jakovic and can't hit free throws to save his sons life.
We put zero effort into stopping Jakovic tonight other then letting him walk all over Gobert. In games 1 and 2 we had constant pressure from an outside man assuring he didn't have time to lolligag and play with his feet. Someone would have been swiping at the ball taking it away while preventing a passing lane. Tonight we all stood around the arc waiting for passes that never came to double players that never needed it. When he had as many points at half as the rest of his team we should have come up with a plan for that.
Gordon seems practically useless other than someone who slams the boards, something we haven't been doing aggressively since game 2. Why don't I ever see more than 1, maybe 2 wolves attacking the boards. If we could stay more constituent with inside protection and blocking passing lanes it would solve both Gordon and Joker.
Defensively, while we looked good when attacking the ball, but we only looked 75%, no doubles, no crashing boards, no cutting off lanes or going for takeaways. Games 1 and 2 the best part of our defense was the takeaways, aggressive defense and effective offense. We haven't been playing that same level of aggressive defense since macdaniels got his 3rd foul 5 or 6 minutes into game 3.
Pros
Townes played much better, hopefully he plays like that on Thursday or were toast.
Most of our bench shot much better overall, we just didn't find enough opportunities and committed a lot of sloppy turn overs all game. Bad passes, rushed hero-like charges to the basket (Townes). The offense was most effective early on by moving the ball around and not forcing edwards to make plays but to find him open. It exposed the lack of movement in Denvers defense. They put up a good wall in the paint, but are not good at keeping up with where our guys are when everyone is moving around. This was also obvious in the first two games and something we have struggled with these last 3.
At times our defense was a thing of beauty again, and most of the game they kept us in it. We lost because of turnovers flat out. We lost the ball randomly so many times from mishandling and we can't afford to do that. At half they mentioned how we had 12 or 14 turnovers but were only down by 6. Had we not had so many turnovers we could have been up by 6 or more easily. Most turn overs came from one guy trying to make something our of nothing when he should have kept the ball moving. Something we showed we can do and did for the first 1/3rd of this game.
My opinion (stop here if you dgf)
We need to find a way to make edwards effective so Townes can play at a more relaxed pace like he did the first 1/4 of this game. We need to make them pay for doubling edwards. Use naz reid and your other guards to make 3 other threats at the arc for him to throw too. I feel like the best answer to joker is double him with Townes and Reid, they did fantastic in game 2 against him. And use NAW and Macdaniels to keep Murray ineffective while edards is keeping an eye on Gordon ready to at least box him out if needed or swing to the wing to cover from the double. That's what we did in game 2 and it obviously worked really really well. Besides that as long as the bench can shoot effectively I think we still have a chance to win this series.
TLDR: Turnovers is why we lost. Kyle Anderson sycks offensively and doesn't present tenough of a threat to be on the court, Morris would be better. Gobert should be sleeping I'm between feedings, not screwing this up for us. We didn't even try to figure out joker or Gordon by crashing the boards or causing any kind of interference. But, Townes did play better, and so did the bench, but too many turnovers didn't allow enough shots to take any kind of commanding lead. We know what we have to do and did it for awhile. Defense can play great but that doesn't matter if the offense keeps giving the ball back. All in all I still think we can win if we go back to what we were doing in game 2.

So I just got a new Fancy sync box hdmi 2.0 after doing extensive research on different HDMI tv backlights and really liking what I saw, both from the feature standpoint and the customer service I had see in responses to Reddit questions and such, honestly great job for that.
I actually and buying this after testing and absolutely hating the Nanoleaf 4d because of its phasing colors and inaccurate colors, plus’s worries about glare and interactions with other lights I have in the tv area. I must honestly say I’m very impressed with how responsive and easy to set up these were as compared to the 4D’s.
My first question would be, is there a way to, or a plan to add the ability to color tune the colors of the lights? I am noticing that the colors seem slightly cooler and less vibrant as opposed to what I see on screen, most likely because TV is doing some color processing which the box wouldn’t receive. Maybe something as simple as a color temp/white balance slider and a saturation slider?
My second would be a bit of a mistake I made upon ordering. I found you all through your website and when I went to order. I decided to order through Amazon. I selected the HDMI 2.1 box and redirected to Amazon, but it took me to the HDMI 2.0 box listing, which I purchased thinking it was the 2.1 unit. Hoping maybe this can be fixed.
I’m very pleased with this product.
Thank you.

I met this guy during the last week of my college year, and he was the first guy that entire school year that I really hit it off with. It's pretty rare for me to click with someone so quickly, so I was particularly happy about the rapport we were quickly building. I was looking forward to seeing him next school year until I realized he actually didn't go to my college and was just visiting his sister. He goes to this community college in an entirely different state. He's expressed how much he hates it there, and he's actually planning on transferring to my college the school year after this coming one. So not after this summer vacation but in roughly a year. By a convenient turn of events, our conversation granted me a natural chance to ask for his number. I want to underline how I only hung out with him (with our mutual friend groups) for two days before I had to move back home. But even though I think myself a fairly oblivious person, I could tell our interest in each other was mutual. Asking for his number was a bit daunting, but he's the one who texted first. But here's where the problem comes in.
He and I are not good texters. But I don't feel like I know him enough to call him. When I text him, it's like we're dumping information to each other, trying our very best to incorporate our personalities, but it doesn't come close to face-to-face interaction, obviously. I feel like I'm sharing so much information about myself that I could've instead shared in-person to pack a bigger punch to the emotional aspect of our relationship. I don't want to end up info-dumping everything about myself to him in the stalest possible way. I feel like I'm sabotaging a lot of intriguing conversations we could've had in-person, because I was just too excited about talking to him immediately that I felt like I just had to ask for his number, or else I'd regret it. He's the first guy that I saw a lot of potential in our relationship, but obviously, two days was not enough time to effectively flesh ourselves out.
It seems like we're always fighting for our lives in that chat box and I can't help but mourn the good conversations our current topic could lead to if we discussed them in person. But when we text, we're just giving each other all the information and none of the memorable experiences. I have other friends who I text where our conversations are enjoyable, and I try telling myself to just text him like any other friend I'd text, but it feels different than just casually checking up on a friend, because for all the friends I have, our relationship is already established, and we usually know each other for weeks or months in person before we seamlessly incorporate texting into our relationship. But he and I didn't necessarily get a chance to solidify our relationship before I left, and without that solidification, texting just doesn't come as natural to me.
I feel bad because I'm the one who made the first move. We finally found a natural end to our previous conversation, and I'm 80% sure he wants to keep texting, but I'm contemplating on whether or not I should just end it there and wait for him to naturally return to my life a year later, or trudge through our dry conversations in hopes that sometime along the way, we'll break that wall of staleness.
I never thought I'd bring this to reddit, but this is the first time I've felt this attracted to someone's aura/vibes, especially in such a short period of time, and I don't want our texting to sabotage our potential future interactions that count. I might be overthinking things, but I have no idea what to do.

I met this guy during the last week of my college year, and he was the first guy that entire school year that I really hit it off with. It's pretty rare for me to click with someone so quickly, so I was particularly happy about the rapport we were quickly building. I was looking forward to seeing him next school year until I realized he actually didn't go to my college and was just visiting his sister. He goes to this community college in an entirely different state. He's expressed how much he hates it there, and he's actually planning on transferring to my college the school year after this coming one. So not after this summer vacation but in roughly a year. By a convenient turn of events, our conversation granted me a natural chance to ask for his number. I want to underline how I only hung out with him (with our mutual friend groups) for two days before I had to move back home. But even though I think myself a fairly oblivious person, I could tell our interest in each other was mutual. Asking for his number was a bit daunting, but he's the one who texted first. But here's where the problem comes in.
He and I are not good texters. But I don't feel like I know him enough to call him. When I text him, it's like we're dumping information to each other, trying our very best to incorporate our personalities, but it doesn't come close to face-to-face interaction, obviously. I feel like I'm sharing so much information about myself that I could've instead shared in-person to pack a bigger punch to the emotional aspect of our relationship. I don't want to end up info-dumping everything about myself to him in the stalest possible way. I feel like I'm sabotaging a lot of intriguing conversations we could've had in-person, because I was just too excited about talking to him immediately that I felt like I just had to ask for his number, or else I'd regret it. He's the first guy that I saw a lot of potential in our relationship, but obviously, two days was not enough time to effectively flesh ourselves out.
It seems like we're always fighting for our lives in that chat box and I can't help but mourn the good conversations our current topic could lead to if we discussed them in person. But when we text, we're just giving each other all the information and none of the memorable experiences. I have other friends who I text where our conversations are enjoyable, and I try telling myself to just text him like any other friend I'd text, but it feels different than just casually checking up on a friend, because for all the friends I have, our relationship is already established, and we usually know each other for weeks or months in person before we seamlessly incorporate texting into our relationship. But he and I didn't necessarily get a chance to solidify our relationship before I left, and without that solidification, texting just doesn't come as natural to me.
I feel bad because I'm the one who made the first move. We finally found a natural end to our previous conversation, and I'm 80% sure he wants to keep texting, but I'm contemplating on whether or not I should just end it there and wait for him to naturally return to my life a year later, or trudge through our dry conversations in hopes that sometime along the way, we'll break that wall of staleness.
I never thought I'd bring this to reddit, but this is the first time I've felt this attracted to someone's aura/vibes, especially in such a short period of time, and I don't want our texting to sabotage our potential future interactions that count. I might be overthinking things, but I have no idea what to do.

My wife has expressed interest in an espresso machine for the house. At first she was looking at the breville barista express and after some cursory research I ended up steering her away from that due to reliability concerns and paying for a crappy integrated grinder. Now I am not a coffee drinker, never have liked it and likely never will. But I’m also kind of a min/maxer type personality and want her to have the best coffee she can, within reason, even though she’s far from a connoisseur either, mostly interested in lattes, and probably doesn’t ultimately care as much as I do 😂 I have gathered a nice grinder is extremely important for good coffee, so I’m planning to spend 300-400 on the grinder. That leaves the machine. I’m currently between the gaggia classic pro and upgrading it with the shades of coffee top box bundle with the PID, pressure and flow control, which would put the machine in the $700 range. My main question is, how much better would that be than a breville bambino for someone (my wife) who certainly tell good coffee from bad coffee, but is not going to be an espresso max scientist? And how good of an espresso/latte will the gaggia make without the mods, if I waited a bit to tear it apart? And are there better options than the modded gaggia in that $700 price range?

It’s been 12 yrs since we’ve seen each other. I’m a very different person from that drunk girl you knew.
I’ve matured, changed. I’m a mom, a widow, an expert in my field. How life puts us where we need to be… I was meant to be in my late husband’s life and meant to provide all the love and care he needed. I gave him homes, children, comfort and friendship. His chapter has closed. It wasn’t easy but the pages were turned and they can’t be reread. But he changed me. We figured out life. We laughed, faced sorrows, made plans, had dreams. His were taken away with each failed treatment. Mine continuously adjusted. He never believed the doctors, never accepted what was going to happen, even until the end. His story, his passions, are all in boxes waiting for our sons to be old enough to understand and learn about him. The closing of his life lead to a new chapter for my boys and I.
Now, nearly 2 years later, we’ve adjusted. We’re a resilient bunch. I want to find love again. My boys need a father, a man to look up to. My thoughts go to you. Have you changed too? Maybe you’d give me the chance you seemed so reluctant to back then. I did figure out part of that reason and I understand. I wonder if you assumed I’d keep coming back after I left. Did you look for me at the bar on weekends? Did your heart sink a little when you saw my friends but not me? Was I easy to replace? Did you find someone who makes you happy?
You will always be the most gorgeous man to me. I can’t explain why, but you are the standard. I don’t know why you are in my dreams so much, why I wish you could just bump into me and catch a spark. I know it’d be easy enough to ask around but would you even be interested? What if you fell in love with me and my kids. What if all this life, with its highs and lows, made us ready for each other?
What if you just don’t think of me? Maybe you shut that door all those years ago. Maybe this is just my wish to be in love again. But oh…wouldn’t it be a wonderful story.

Does anyone else get such bad anxiety that they can't eat? Anxiety is so bad that nothing is appetizing, or even when you're super hungry that you cant make yourself get up? Because this is where I'm at. The thought of spending time cooking or going to the kitchen is debilitating. I don't know what to do. When I finally get the nerve to get up and make something if what I was planning to eat isn't there then I spiral and won't eat anything at all. I get so angry at everyone around me or everything feels so unmanageable or overwhelming. I go days at a time without eating or I only eat once in those few days. I try and conserve food and not get too attached to a favorite food because if its gone then I know I wont have it again for a long time. So I conserve it but then it will go bad and it defeated what I was trying to accomplish. My husband gets very angry at me because I'm not eating. He thinks I just need to do it and get over it and that I'm being selfish. But for me it's not that simple. There's so many factors to why I'm like this... money, anxiety, being overweight, etc. I just hate food so much. I hate feeling full. But I also hate being hungry and miserable. It's a constant cycle. When I go out to eat I enjoy it in the moment. But then once I'm done eating I feel horrible because I feel full and I know it will make being hungry later all the worse. I'm at a loss at what to do. Anyone else deal with this? I feel so incredibly alone.

Hello there everyone, before anything I do have to state that I have to be vague about a lot of this stuff since it is TW as well as legal things so here, we are. Fake Names used
For a little back story, I 20 F then 19 F met my ex-boyfriend 21 M (20 then) in December of 2023. I was renting out a room in a house that wasn't in the safest area but the cheapest rent in the area so I couldn't complain much, but I talked to my landlord who told me I needed to move out by the first week of January of 2024. I had a stable job and almost 1k in savings, so I wasn't to worry about trying to find a place but the area I lived in was way too expensive and most places were denying me. I decide one day that I would go on bumble on the friends and dating part of the app to get connected with people in the area since I didn't have many friends at the time. I met my ex-boyfriend, Jacob. He was engaged and in an open relationship, from what I was told from both parties, it was open long before I met Jacob. I did meet his fiancée Lila, she was about my age only a few weeks older than I was. (20 F).
It was really stupid of me I know but I was also trying to enter my idgaf era, about two days after our first date we hooked up at his place with Lila joining in. After a night of the devil's tango, I asked Jacob if we were together or just FBW since I know that I connect with people to quickly and get attached (childhood Trauma doesn't matter) anyway, he gave me a kiss and smiled, saying that we were dating now. and honestly, I was overjoyed, he promised I could stay with him and Lila until I could find a place for myself, and I was thankful. But I wouldn't be making this post if there wasn't a turn for the worst, He had convinced me many times to call out of work because he needed me and needed help with cleaning. So, I did this ended up costing me my job and slowly I had to eat away at my savings because I didn't have a job. Door Dash became my best friend for money. Fast forward a bit since I don't really know when's the best time to start explaining more.
He landed a job at a Greek food shop about half a mile away from the apartment complex that we were at and he asked if I could drive him to and from work since he didn't have a car, I said sure but he needed to walk or get a bike off of FB marketplace because I couldn't always be his ride to work since I needed to find my own job. He got a bit mad at this because I wouldn't drive him to and from work and he got tired of having to do it, so he stopped working, so three people in an apartment building with almost no way to pay rent. Before people come at me asking why I didn't help with rent that was because when I moved in we agreed that I would help with grocery's, cooking dinners and cleaning the kitchen, and I agreed since I would much rather do dishes then laundry. About another two weeks after this Greek job fail, I landed a job as a nanny for an amazing family and a very adorable five-month-old. I loved this family so much and they were so kind and open and very accepting of everything. It almost felt like my dream job.
Jacob was happy for me to same with Lila and honestly, I thought this was going to be perfect, I didn't know it then but after putting puzzle pieces together I found out that he had well, taken advantage of me, on my birthday to be exact.
After I found this out, I decide to leave for a few days to one of my friends place about two hours away from the apartment, Lila told me she would play devils advice and figure out exactly what was happening because at this point, we both knew we needed to get out of this relationship but didn't know how. So, when I was leaving to go to my friends, he deiced to throw himself on my car preventing me to leave, I rolled down my window, stupid of me I know. I told him that he needed to leave, he started crying saying that he needed me and that he couldn't be alone. I remined him that his soon to be wife was in the apartment and wanted to spend time with him, he said that he couldn't do it alone and couldn't bear the thought of me leaving, I had to call Lila out of the apartment to get him off my car since he was hanging on my car door. After almost forty minutes of me telling him to get off of the car he finally let go and went back into the apartment, I stayed at my friends for about a day before he was blowing up my phone begging me to come back and that he needed me and couldn't go on without me. My friend suggested I stayed a little bit longer at their place but I said no and that I needed to go help him. So I left later that next day and what I came home to was a mess, the apartment trashed and disorganized, my stuff thrown everywhere and messy. We talked about his reaction to it all and he consistently made himself the victim.
He constantly tried to get me pregnant, almost every day he was trying, while I was telling him I didn't want to be tied down for the next 18 or 19 years of my life taking care of something too stupid to care of itself, I couldn't even take care of myself sometimes lmao (I would like kids in the future but I just don't want one at the age of twenty) Eventually Lila and I knew we needed to get out of this relationship since he was becoming more and more toxic demanding that we give him our phones so he could search through them. I denied hard, I believe that your partner shouldn't search through your phone, if you need to use it go ahead if you wish. But I'll be damned if I'm letting someone forcefully going through my phone because of their insecurities. He constantly gaslit us as well as lying about everything and how we were the issue, never him. Manipulation was almost like his superpower. As well as many other things I really don't wish to get into.
Idk when to skip to but after a lot of secretly planning and scheming, my friend in another state agreed to allow us to move into her place to get away from him and to start a new life almost, and honestly so far it's been great. I have a stable job, some new friends and honestly it couldn't be better. I did call the police and filed a report on him, but since he lives in a whole other city than the city it happened in it taking a lot longer than one would hope. But just recently I had this large gut feeling, something I hadn't felt since the night I met Jacob. I ignored it that time and this time I refused to ignore it. So here is where I am asking if AITA. After much self-debate I called his father and told him most about what happened how it happened and not where I am, but I just told him that I am in a safe place. I wasn't expecting much because as a parent of a child who does something like that what would be the right responds.
(I do not have a child idk why I need to specify that but yeah)
It took me a while to write this, but I really need some unbiased opinions, a lot of people are saying I am in the wrong and a few close ones says that I am in the right, so what better way to find opinions?
So AITA?

So the last few years have been rough.
*note* if you're a "cheaters will always be cheaters type" tldr is don't bother reading or commenting
BACKSTORY 2019-2023 child nearly annual broken bones, lots of stress and specialist visits.
2018-2024 my wife got her associates as a medical assistant and is almost done with her bachelor's and final quarter internship while working full time and that has been hard for me. The lack of time for me and my son has really made an impact.
2019 I was injured at work and 2020 had my first surgery to try and preserve an ankle joint. That surgery ended up failing and while recovering I ended up mangling 2 fingertips in a wood jointer. 2020 I had to make the transition to a sahd on workers comp and have been since then. My lifestyle of hiking and fishing was upended because I could barely be on my feet 3 hours a day and uneven ground killed me not to mention the whole covid thing was pretty isolating.
All of 2021 was supporting her being a surrogate for a couple in City X (their egg/sperm). So, lots of trips checks and giving her injections. It was kind of proving myself to her because I was terrified when our son was born in 2017 and didn't help as much as I should have. Especially the first 3 months. Really, I didn't find out until later. We had conversations and fights at the time and id step up to do more and she would agree and tell me it was all okay. Then another fight saying I wasn't doing enough/anything and asking more and me being upset and confused. I guess at the time she was afraid to ask more, or tell me what she wanted, or her feelings, and the postpartum depression and initial feelings of abandonment didn't help.
Anyways the surrogacy went okay. I was there and supportive. Rubbing her feet and back. taking on extra load when she was tired etc. And hey I didn't pass out at delivery this time XD The end was a bit hard with 2 inductions needed and a massive 9.5lb baby and a stuck shoulder.
Then a few weeks after birth in November 2021 the nightmare began.
Out of nowhere she started hemorrhaging. She had to have an emergency D&C to stop the bleeding and scans showed a mass. Turned out the surrogate baby's placenta had some cells turn cancerous and attach to her uterus (Choriocarcinoma). 3 months later and the first 3 agent chemo failed, and her numbers were skyrocketing because it turned treatment resistant. They had to hit it with 5 types of chemo (EMACO) leaving future fertility a coin toss but more than a hysterectomy. By May 2022 the tumor marker was gone, but it was 6 months of intense monitoring and 6 months of monthly monitoring. The whole time she was in an intense spiraling depression questioning life. The meaning of all it, and how all her childhood trauma was fair. That no god would let a child live that. And questioning every decision in her life and wondering what things could have been like if she went a different direction. Feeling like she missed out on opportunities early in life. If this might be all there is (we have been together since she was 17). She said she felt like reality wasn't real and this was make believe at times.
Summer 2022 she made a new mom friend. She was pretty toxic and selfish. She used my wife for personal benefit and to go places. Yelled at her kids and treated the oldest from a prior marriage as less than (girl doesn't know her dad and when she mentioned she was part Mexican she freaked out and denied it because of how conservative and anti Mexican her new dad and his family is). Like never offered a dime, but expected food, gas, tickets, and gifts. She drove my wife nuts with that behavior. but she was desperate for a friend and loved her kids. Her friend would just talk shit about her partner pretty constantly and say my wife should be unhappy in her relationship too. Shit talking husbands behind their backs became like a mutual thing and I def hated it
Sometime 2023 she jumped into fantasy romance and fantasy smut /erotica. This progressed to an AI chat smut generator.
May 2023 monitoring was over and she was officially cancer free and had been on a health/mental health quest..
The mental health part started early in the year and she was seeing a therapist for depression and anxiety alone as well as her long list of childhood trauma. Off hand her therapist told her a few times she didn't know maybe just divorce me or something. I was super uncomfortable with this as it was completely outside her practicing scope and I didn't feel she should be providing relationship guidance, especially without me or the rest of the story. I felt a bit attacked and didn't even get the chance to give my perspective or account and felt that is pretty important after being here for a decade. A lot of negative points get omitted by her.
Summer 2023 she had some tough diagnosis for other chronic issues. Narcolepsy Dissociative Identity disorder Depression And a sleep disorder
I initially rejected this as I didn't want to accept these chronic and incurable conditions and insisted it has to be something else, that she's okay. It was taken as rejection of her.
Fall 2023 she reached out to a childhood ex bf a few states away and started an emotional affair. They kept in infrequent contact over the years and nothing ever came of it before. He has been unable to move past her or have meaningful relationships in 13 years. At first he pushed her away and rejected it, but after a month by Nov it was a thing. Texting saying I shouldn't worried because they dated before, but he ended up coming out as gay, calls in private, staying later after work. I gave it the benefit of the doubt but got burned. I found out in December the second time she wanted a private call in the car, and I checked her phone.
We started marriage counseling in Jan and I started my own therapy search as well as a condition of hers. She agreed to no longer contact the boy showed me the sent message ending it and blocked him. By Feb I found him listed in her phone as Saraa and found deleted texts and calls. In therapy she wanted to keep him as a friend and only friend and I tried this. She asked if a PO box would be okay for a birthday present, and I said no. That it crossed a line. It was also super close to Valentine's day. Next therapy I couldn't handle the anxiety and feeling physically ill when she used her phone, and we went through Jan again break off block etc.
In Feb the therapist recommended a separate space for conflict as we work on things. That too much conflict triggered her dissociative identity disorder. It was either a hotel as needed or a rv/camper. My wife was set on a camper and the only way to get a newer one was to add my credit/income to hers for a loan and I was uncomfortable on a $20k purchase. She assured me the intent of the camper was working on us and not separating/divorcing. She brought up me not having chores completely done all the time and I poured myself into it if that was making her unhappy over the years.
During this time in March I found out she got the secret PO box and had yet again resumed texting entirely deleting her logs. She had valentines gifts. birthday gifts, long distance electronic bracelets, and had an easter basket coming. Everything was put together into a box to be gotten rid of. That effort I had for chores and making everything spotless kind of died. Like there was that recognition that that obviously wasn't the problem. We lived completely separately for a few weeks until she could make a choice. We split our son and had almost zero interaction. Eventually she chose and I saw a notebook she used once in December. Basically she has started outlining a story envisioning herself as the lead character in once of her romantic fantasies and cast me and the other man as competing love interests
April and early may there was nothing. We did therapy and tackled our issues slowly. Together. Our future plans: college vs baby and the ticking clock of fertility and ifs after chemo. Etc
Last week she was going out for lilac picking and didn't text me for 2 hours and said she was at the beach. Later she showed me something in her email and I saw discord emails about a pw change and login. One bad gut feeling later and the next morning I see she deleted the discord emails and check our phone plan and her phone and see missing texts. I put in a phone record request for recent texts and text/call logs. She woke up and I said it did it and she said I was disgusting. Then admitted I was right.
She says after breaking it off she was worried he would hurt himself and just wanted to be sure he was okay and admitted to 3 texts and the discord call which i verified. Said that he was in therapy for his issues. She said she didn't want to bring it up to me because I would make it a fight and she thought she could just get away with a few texts to make sure. That she felt responsible for how much he had been hurt too.
So I did what I do with extreme anxiety and checked her work bag. I found an old journal they shared Jan to mid-march. Kind of confirmed again what was going on. Also revealed she lied to me about the trailer, or him? She couldn't get it without me and told him it was to work on separating from me easier. Yeah I kept pics in case this goes downhill because yeah, I'll gun for EVERYTHING. I'm sure that being tricked into signing a $20k contract under false pretenses for her personal benefit, secret po boxes, lying to our therapist repeatedly, secret texts, expecting gifts from the other man, career over spending time with family and a serious personality disorder on top of narcolepsy making a job hard to keep down wont do her favors at divorce/custody hearings.
So its all fresh for me again. I already have extreme anxiety and the autism doesn't help with reading/understanding people the best, although my gut intuition and pattern recognition are catching stuff fine.
WHERE I THINK I AM
Looking back, I can see that the personality disorder and narcolepsy are apparent. Dream delusion and memory issues from the narcolepsy make separating dream from reality hard as well as just recalling what happened. So whether not the "not feeling like reality is real" was a dream delusion or a full-blown dissociative episode... I can also see that messaging him was a "new" personality state. Maybe it's a manifestation of the trauma of nearly dying from cancer, maybe it's a fragment of her young identity that was created to survive her traumatic childhood resurfacing after nearly dying. But her interests and perspective massively shifted at that time and there was a clear separation between her with me and her with him. It was like this regression back to 15. Like she was molding an identity to fit his desires and interests. She took up tarot and witchy books, different music, painting, rockhounding (my interest), dried bouquets, dyed her hair and got multiple piercings. Even getting caught there was that click in her whole demeanor.
I can see how her friend may have jaded her towards me by all the shit she talked about HER husband. I can see that throwing herself into fantasy smut to cope flooded her with portrayals of unrealistic romance. That she progressed that by using an AI smut bot to hold those conversations with. Then she directly tried to process her own reality through the lens of those novels in that journal.
This "relationship" was "I love you, we can be together in 10 years". He wasn't going to leave his cushy job. Or his state. He didn't want to be a stepdad. He didn't want to support her career or have any involvement in it. She couldn't leave my state. Never saw illicit photos. No discussion of sex. It was like exactly what you think some lovestruck preteens would come up with. Like just a fantasy. No talk of bills or finances. Of moving. Of any substantial tangible entanglement.
Somehow that's easier to handle
I love her and don't want to leave her. But i desperately think she needs serious help and have told her I want her to do therapy 2x a month (on top of marriage therapy 2x).
I also think if a secret or deleted text happens again, I've got to take off the kid gloves and fight for it all. Cause well showing up at the dude's door would end in prison.
I'm sure this happening right as I fully got over last time and took a trust leap of faith on a "gay" friend that burned me will make it harder. I get the last few years have been garbage luck and I get almost dying can have profound affects though. She had been utterly loyal for 5 years (believe me I checked as we agreed to ie open book). Tying to see this with an open mind.
I get my exact expectations are muddy and part of this is just putting it into words to process for me, but I value if someone has any good input

We’ve been together almost a year. My bf started out completely smitten. He planned dates, talked about our future, always available (I do not need this but for context) always wanting to spend his free time with me. Planned trips with me, he constantly called me “perfect” and his “dream girl.” He put me on what felt like a pedestal. This intimidated me and turned me off a bit because I felt nervous to show vulnerability for fear of being knocked off the pedestal in his head. He hadn’t known me long enough to be considering me a “life partner” his words at that time.
Fast forward, I overcame my fear because it’s not authentic for me to be ‘pedestal’ standard. But I noticed the more authentic I was the less he seemed attracted to me. The more I showed my more vulnerable sides, the more he seemed turned off. I have been with him long enough to know he’s worried about ‘looking weak’ and thinks communication about emotions or any vulnerability is ‘weak’. He hardly EVER tells me his true thoughts and when I ask he says “they are my private thoughts, I have a right not to share them.” When I go in for a kiss he pulls away and when he sees me upset about it he claims ‘it’s a joke’ He rarely says I love you back anymore. He does not plan dates, he spends significantly less time with me. Over time this has taken such a toll on me that I had a conversation with him about potentially breaking up, anytime I’ve brought up any conversation insinuating a potential break up/breaking point he begs frantically for me. He then sees his part in things and takes accountability quickly. I notice when I’m more reserved that’s when he’s affectionate and tries his best.
I don’t want to pull back or stuff my affection down to gain his time and attention. It’s driving me crazy because despite this I truly love him, and he does have a lot of boxes checked for me as far as financial, responsible, sense of humor, intelligent, generous, attractive. But the push pull is exhausting and I’m hurt being rejected over and over. Is it possible we can get out of this cycle?
Tl;dr My bf rejects my gestures for affection often thinking it’s funny and claiming it’s a “joke.” I get hurt and tired of the rejection and when I pull away he bombards me with affection. I want an equal balance. Is there any hope?

I need advice pls. I am 15 and live with my grandmother. 5 hours ago, I was in my room stroking my banana. I did something I usually don't do. I locked my door, and I got the tissue box with me this time. (I don't have my own tissue box, and the tissue box is from the kitchen. ) forgot to mention, I also have a tape measure with me to see how my banana has been growing. I just finished my first round, and I was going for the second round. Suddenly my grandmother, who's usually napping, knocked my door. I hide everything as fast as I could and then I opened the door. She asked why did I lock the door, and asked what I was doing. I came up with a shitty excuse that I can't even remember. It was something about the heater. She walked in my room and probably saw the tissues and tape measure that I completely forgot about. She probably saw the bulge too. She didn't say a lot and just told me she will be cooking dinner very soon and then she left. Now I am panicking. What should I do? Should I tell her I'm sorry? I swear to God I'm never touching my banana again. I'm so ashamed of myself. TL;DR I should do this in bathroom next time, so nobody will question me and I can play my banana in peace..

So the way I have learned to learn Paradox games is to completely ignore the tutorial, and cheat hideously during the early days to actively learn what kinds of risks I will take by doing the sorts of things I plan to do, and roll past them. I am pretty proud of myself here, because by the time of the first generation after my Han Chinese pirate queen turned Rector of the Republic of Ragusa and head of a Mazdaki cult, I had used that initial boost to stabilize and stopped needing to cheat away my errors. So I think from there it is fair to say I have been playing as close to a fair game as the ludicrous situation allows.
So; generation 4, the original Jiang Xiuye my great grandmother. I am politically married to someone I beat during the counterattack of a jihad on Italy, apparently somewhere in the line of descent for a Mongol horde. And he's mad at me because when I was still playing my dad, I had a couple bastard children I legitimized. And, like everyone since my grandmother, I wanna be the ruler of Serbia.
So, there's the setup. And the kickoff; it took me a while to notice, but as he's still Muslim, he has a couple other wives. Excuse the fuck me? You have tried to get an assassin past my spymaster for adultery, you bastard!
The execution, though. Intermarrying has put me in good with several claimants to the throne of Serbia. One of them is an absolute lunatic, cruel, and dumber than a box of hammers. So I 'suggest' my husband marry her. Then I press her claim.
And the recent raids from the Horselords have done a number on Serbia, so I easily kick King Did-Nothing-Wrong the 1000th of his name, a 2 year old, off the throne, with a paltry few mercenaries. Now the raving sadist is queen, and immediately gets the title The Usurper. My husband, predictably, attends to his little needs, and three years later there are three children of their union. As I am technically his liege, it is easy to get the kids sent to my court to be educated under him, then take that education role for myself once they're here.
The next part was just a gift from Ahura Mazda, though; she has a manic fit, becomes possessed, and kills my husband. Not only is that a loose end tied up, but if I was counting on people to support her assassination before, now I basically had to race to be the one to propose it first.
So she was blown up by an enormous amount of pigshit, for which I really appreciate my fellow conspirators' sense of style. Now the King of Serbia is my personal ward, and still here while his regent rules, and his regent is in my secret cult. By the time he goes home and takes over, he will already be married matrilineally to my youngest daughter, because she's one of the bastards and has no blood relation to him. So I will not be queen of Serbia, but for some reason my bloodline is fiending for it, so I have left a little gift for a grandchild.
And it just.... oh, it felt so good. Everything went so smoothly, it was so easy to plan and orchestrate, and the journey from "hey this could work" to Puppetmaster was delightful.
I was interested in trying CK when I am already quite content with Stellaris because I have heard people talk about these moments. They were right, and I am glad I did. This is bliss.

Currently playing a Thaumaturge at level 2 with a group that I'm confident is going to stick together for a long time and it's looking like we're about to do AV. Party and DM are all brand new to Pf2 so he didn't want to allow free archetype so just following normal rules.
Party is a Fire Elemental Sorcerer, Maestro Bard, Champion, AiWood Kineticist and myself.
Current build is Catfolk, Charlatan background, Hunting Catfolk heritage. Mirror Implement.
Abilities are +3 str, +2 dex, +1 con, 0 int, 0 wis, +3 str. Skills are trained in Deception, Diplomacy, Intimidation, and Stealth.
Feats so far are: Cat's Luck Diverse Lore Scroll Thaumaturgy (for things like heal, soothe, buffs, etc) Intimidating Glare
Planning on taking the below: Level 3: Intimidation as skill increase and Fleet
Level 4: Breached Defenses and Bon Mot
Level 5: ability boost to str, con, wis, cha. Skill increase to Diplomacy. Weapon Implement.
Level 6: unsure if I should take Sympathetic Vulnerabilities, Scroll Esoterica for the later Scroll feats, and earlier feat or maybe even Marshal Dedication. Is Marshal worth it with a Bard? Are there enough big fights where Sympatetic Vuln does much?
Some general things I'm unsure about:

• because we have a bard, Regalia Implement seems not nearly as useful until Adept, at which point it kind of overshadows their buffs
  
• with the champion and Kineticist (spamming protector tree is dumb but strong), we have some pretty strong defenses, so I'm not sure if taking Amulet, Bell or Chalice make much sense
  
• Lantern seems very campaign specific for usefulness. Not sure how often the benefits come up.
  
• if we make it far enough, Mirror, Weapons, Tome seems like the most useful combo of implements. Do I stick with mirror at my current level or retrain it to Tome so I can eventually get the Adept benefit?
  
• is athletics useful for Thaums at all? Most of the skill actions require a free hand, while feint, create a diversion, bon mot and demoralize seem very useful in general. How often do athletics checks come up if I'm not using it for the skill actions?
  
• I do have Scorpion Whip on me, but I'm using the Smoking Sword from the beginner box right now. Not sure if I should get some runes on the Whip and use that instead while keeping athletics trained over Diplomacy or maybe Stealth?
  
• Instructive Strike seems redundant with Diverse Lore, since I auto RK when I succeed at EV. Makes no sense to take this right?
  
• I've heard people reference Psychic Dedication as good for Thaum but I struggle to understand how.
  

Am I doing OK with my plan so far? Any help is hugely appreciated.

There's a saying in the horror genre, they always say it's all in your head or it's all a dream, but my recent experience was neither of those, it was very real, and almost cost me my life, I used to be a night person, staying up from 12am to 3am, and I would take walks on occasion, but never again after what happened a couple weeks ago.
So one night, I decided to go for a walk during 12am to clear my mind over a fight I had with one of my ex friends, I walked down the small suburb near my town, I knew the town like the back of my hand, once I got to the park, I saw something that wasn't there before, a tall 18ft statue with red hair, big pupils and barely visible irises, a wide grin, and the statue had it's hand raised, like it's welcoming the guests of the park, I walked past the statue and I swear, in the corner of my eye, I could see it staring directly at me, but when I turned to look, it looked back ahead, I was getting weirded out already, so I decided to head back home.
I decided to take the long way home, near the grocery store and up the hillside road, once I reached the top of the hill, I started hearing some sort of footsteps, booming footsteps, like a giant or big creature, I shrugged it off to be my mind playing tricks on me, but oh boy... It wasn't my mind, once the footsteps got closer, I groaned in annoyance and turned around, expecting to see nothing or a crazy person, but it was neither of those, it was the statue, slumped down to my level, staring directly at me, I slowly backed away, scared shitless, then what happened next made my skin completely pale, it's mouth opened, still maintaining that smile, and I saw teeth... Razor sharp teeth, at least 3 rows of it, this thing wasn't a living statue... It was a legit monster, it suddenly screeched at me and I knew I had to start running, so that's what I did.
I could hear the booming footsteps of the creature growing closer and closer, I was scared for my entire life, running as fast as my legs could take me, suddenly I was pushed by the creature, which led to my arm getting scraped against the pavement, I groaned in pain and held my arm tightly, I looked up at the towering monster, as it planned to eat me alive, but before it could, my arm hit a rock that was beside me, with no time to lose, I grabbed the rock and yelled at the monster. "Asta La Vesta bitch!" I threw the rock at the monster, hitting it square in the face, it roared in pain and fell back, now's my chance, I ran back to my house with all the energy in my body remaining, once I entered my house, I locked every entrance of the house so the monster wouldn't break in.
I slumped onto the couch, out of breath, tired, and thirsty, I had time to think to myself. "What the hell was that thing, why did it attack me?!" I said to myself, I looked at my now bleeding arm from the pavement scraping, I sighed, got up, and headed to the bathroom, quickly though because I heard the creature's booming footsteps, once I got done patching myself up, I went to the kitchen to get a can of diet coke, once I did, I heard thumping on the window, I was scared to look, but a sudden bang made me, trembling, I turned to the window, and of course, the monster was there, still maintaining that sinister smile, it simply waved at me, then walked off into the woods, I quickly closed the curtains and hid in my bedroom, not coming out till daytime.
Once the sun beamed through my certain, I felt a little relieved, then took a 30 minute nap, once I woke up, I had a news report notification, my instinct was to ignore it, but the contents of the news report made me stop myself, the image was the monster, laying on it's belly, blood on it's skin, the article headline read "Statue Of Park Found Bleeding And Laying Behind The Grocery Store." After I read the whole article, I heard a knock on the door, hesitant, I went to check it out, I noticed a piece of paper near the door, I assumed it slid it underneath the door, still hesitant, I picked it up and read what was on it, it only said 4 words... "Bow To The Silencer..."
I will never be a night person ever again...

Trip report for 2 weeks husband and I spent in Belize - April 20 to May 4
Breaking this down into 3 parts, this post is about our time in Placencia. Ask away if you want any details.
Day 5 San Ignacio -> Placencia

• Mayawalk Tours shuttle to Wild Orchid in Placencia. We rented a “studio with ocean view” When we walked in with the host for him to show us around there was a little kitchenette that was fully loaded with all we needed, table and a small futon…. Luckily their definition of studio is different from ours and there was also a large bedroom with a king size bed. Cute, clean little place, with AC. Beach a minute walk from our door. They provide bikes, SUP, kayaks etc all with your reservation. There were a couple other apartments in the building and houses around us but it was lovely and secluded, being far from town, we were basically the only people on the beach. We did have upstairs neighbors one night and you could hear some walking around etc, but not bad. We were there on the off season, so it may be more crowded other times of the year. There was a picnic table outside our apartment, but that isn’t comfortable for long term relaxation to sit outside. We drug a couple of the chairs by the water up to our room so we could have a place to hang out outside, but not at the water.
• Apartment was about 3.5 miles from town, there was only one restaurant that was open and within walking distance. Grabbed a couple of the bikes and headed into town for dinner. This is when we realized 3.5 miles each way on beach cruisers would be a longer ride than originally thought. Made it about 1.5 miles to Turtle Inn and ended up having a great pizza and drinks at their beach bar and restaurant.

Day 6 - Placencia

• Called around for a golf cart rental, ended up using Barefoot Services for a full day rental. Their office was walking distance and we received a nice clean cart.
• Spent the afternoon downtown. Parked the cart, and walked around drinking & snacking at a few different restaurants & bars. Public beach was nice there.
• Stopped by the grocery store and grabbed food, snacks & drinks for the next couple of days.
• Dropped off the cart and walked to Hobbs Brew Barge for some beers and dinner. Walked back to the apartment.

Day 7 - Placencia

• Dove the Silk Cayes with Go Sea Tours. They have a great operation, lunch was served on an island between dives and rum punch poured on the boat ride back. Loved Benji the DM. I would recommend and dive with them again.

Day 8 - Placencia

• Beach & relaxation day at the apartment
• Took a taxi downtown, ate at Omars, rumor is they have the best conch fritters in the area. Spent a couple hours walking around, getting drinks at different places. Taxi home.

Day 9 - Placencia -> San Pedro

• Had a 2pm flight from Placencia -> BZE -> San Pedro. Flight left at 2pm. Having no idea, we got to the airport at 1pm and were very early. Tropic Air had a nice waiting room, fast Wifi, cold AC. We were the only 2 passengers on this flight.
• When we landed at Belize City, Tropic Air was able to get us on an earlier flight than booked, so our layover was the time it took to get off the plane, check in for next flight, go through security and make it to the gate. About 10 minutes. They also contacted the company we were renting our golf cart through on San Pedro and let them know that we would be landing earlier than planned.

Placencia was beautiful, beaches had some sargassum (Wild Orchid did have staff raking up when we were there) but it wasn’t bad. We would stay there again, but would prepare better if we didn’t have a car, i.e. have the shuttle driver stop at the grocery store on the way in or a longer term golf cart rental. Favorite meal was the pizza at Turtle Inn, nothing else really stood out. I’m sure there were a lot of great restaurants we missed, but we took advantage of having the mini kitchen.
Total Spent in Belize for 2 weeks - $6,175.24 (does not include travel expenses to / from US)
Placencia Breakdown: $1,662.71

• Transportation - $582.78
• Accommodations - $358.52
• Eating & Drinking - $378.76
• Diving - $342.65

I am looking for a unyielding, + 1 strength, weapon weight reduction, civil engineer armor.
Maybe good Overeaters, ammo weight reduction, excavator pieces.
Now what I have for trade.
Rare outfits
tattered field jacket
blue ridge caravan outfit and and gas mask
both scout masks
white powder jumpsuit
responder fireman helmet
glowing scorchbeast queen mask
glowing honey bee mask
winter man mask
crazy guy mask
deathclaw mask
brahmin mask
demon mask
hag mask
buffoon mask
raven mask
weapons
elders marks
aristocrats, explosive, less vats cost
bloodied, explosive, breaks 50% slower
instigating, explosive, less vats cost
vampire, explosive, faster reload
vampire, 50 more vats critical damage, less vats cost
enclave plasmas
bloodied, 50 more vats critical damage, breaks 50% slower, not modded
quad, faster fire rate, faster reload, not modded
mod boxes and unrolled weapons
ranged
aristocrats, explosive, less vats cost, handmade
aristocrats, explosive, faster reload, handmade
aristocrats, explosive, less vats cost, 10mm submachine gun
aristocrats, faster fire rate, faster reload, gatling plasma
anti armor, 50 more vats critical damage, less vats cost, compound bow
anti armor, explosive, V.A.T.S. critical meter fills 15% faster, radium rifle
anti armor, 50 more vats critical damage, less vats cost, pepper shaker
anti armor, faster fire rate, faster reload, minigun
anti armor, explosive, faster reload, bolt-action pistol/rifle
anti armor, explosive, less vats cost, railway rifle
anti armor, explosive, breaks 50% slower, gatling gun
anti armor, explosive, less vats cost, hunting rifle
bloodied, faster fire rate, less vats cost, ultracite laser gun
bloodied, explosive, faster reload, handmade
bloodied, explosive, breaks 50% slower, fixer
bloodied, faster fire rate, faster reload, minigun
bloodied, faster fire rate, 90 reduced weight, minigun
bloodied, faster fire rate, 90 reduced weight, gatling laser
bloodied, explosive, faster reload, submachine gun
bloodied, 50 more vats critical damage, less vats cost, gatling plasma
bloodied, 50 more vats critical damage, less vats cost, lever action
bloodied, faster fire, rate, 90 reduced weight, radium rifle
bloodied, faster fire, rate, less vats cost, railway rifle
bloodied, explosive, faster reload, ripe rifle/pistol
bloodied, faster fire rate, breaks 50% slower, ultracite gatling laser
bloodied, explosive, breaks 50% slower, gatling gun
bloodied,, rate, +50% hit chance hit target in VATS, less vats cost, gauss rifle
executioner, explosive, less vats cost, fixer
junkies, explosive, faster reload, handmade
junkies, explosive, less vats cost, pipe revolver
quad, 50 more vats critical damage, faster reload, fixer
quad, explosive, less vats cost, pipe revolver
quad, faster fire rate, faster reload, gatling gun
quad, faster fire rate, faster reload, assault rifle
quad, explosive, less vats cost, assault rifle
quad, faster fire rate, less vats cost, assault rifle
quad, explosive, less vats cost, bolt action pipe rifle
quad, explosive, faster reload, hunting rifle
quad, faster fire rate, V.A.T.S. critical meter fills 15% faster, railway rifle
tse, less vats cost, pipe bolt action pistol/rifle
tse, faster reload, pump action shotgun
tse, less vats cost, combat shotgun
tse, faster reload, handmade
tse, less vats cost, radium rifle
tse, 90 reduced weight, 50 cal machine gun
tse, 90 reduced weight, gatling gun
two shot, faster fire rate, less vats cost, railway rifle
two shot, 50 more vats critical damage, faster reload, fatman
two shot, 50 more vats critical damage, less vats cost, gauss rifle
two shot, +50% hit chance hit target in VATS, faster reload, auto grenade launcher
vampire, faster fire rate, less vats cost, railway rifle
vampire, explosive, less vats cost, railway rifle
vampire, explosive, faster reload, pipe revolver
vampire, explosive, less vats cost, assault rifle
vampire, explosive, faster reload, combat rifle
vampire, explosive, faster reload, radium rifle
vampire, explosive, less vats cost, pipe revolver
vampire, explosive, faster reload, double barrel shotgun
vampire, 50 more vats critical damage, V.A.T.S. critical meter fills 15% faster, gauss rifle
melee
anti armor, 50 more vats critical damage, less vats cost, chainsaw
anti armor, swing speed, + 1 strength, pole hook
anti armor, swing speed, + 1 strength, shovel
anti armor, swing speed, + 1 strength, shishkebab
aristocrats, power attack, breaks 50% slower, chainsaw
berserkers, power attack, + 1 strength, chainsaw
bloodied, power attack, breaks 50% slower, chainsaw
bloodied, power attack, 90 reduced weight, chainsaw
bloodied, power attack, + 1 strength, chainsaw
bloodied, AP, 90 reduced weight, chainsaw
bloodied, power attack, + 1 strength, grognak axe
bloodied, swing speed, + 1 strength, sledgehammer
bloodied, swing speed, + 1 strength, multi purpose axe
furious power attack, + 1 strength, chainsaw
junkies, swing speed, +1 strength, pole hook
junkies, swing speed, +1 strength, cultist dagger
junkies, swing speed, +1 strength, death tambo
junkies, swing speed, +1 strength, chinese officer sword
junkies, swing speed, +1 strength, tire iron
junkies, swing speed, +1 strength, pickaxe
instigating, swing speed, +1 strength, super sledge
vampire, +25% damage while standing still, + 1 strength, chainsaw
vampire, power attack, less vats cost, chainsaw
vampire, power attack, breaks 50% slower, chainsaw
vampire, power attack, 90 reduced weight, chainsaw
vampire, AP, + 1 strength, chainsaw
armor
assassins, AP, sentinel, sturdy robot left leg
assassins, receive 7% less explosion damage, sentinel, civil engineer chest
assassins, receive 7% less explosion damage, sentinel, heavy leather right arm
chameleon, ap, sentinel, heavy combat armor right arm
overeaters, AP, cavalier, civil engineer chest
overeaters, + 25 fire resistance, weapon weight reduction, urban scout right arm
overeaters, receive 7% less explosion damage, sentinel, sturdy metal right arm
overeaters, + 1 perception, cavalier, trapper left arm
overeaters, poison resistance, weapon weight reduction, urban scout chest
overeaters, AP, cavalier, trapper left arm
overeaters, 25% disease resistance, weapon weight reduction, trapper left arm
overeaters, 1 strength, cavalier, forest scout right leg
overeaters, hunger and thirst 10% slower, sentinel, heavy leather left arm
overeaters, Fire resistance, weapon weight reduction, wood left leg
overeaters, Fire resistance, cavalier, wood right leg
overeaters, poison resistance, cavalier, heavy combat right arm
overeaters, radiation resistance, AWR, forest right arm
overeaters, poison resistance, AWR, marine right arm
overeaters, Fire resistance, sentinel, heavy combat left arm
overeaters, radiation resistance, weapon weight reduction, sturdy combat right leg
unyielding, radiation resistance, cavalier, marine chest
unyielding, 1 strength, harder to detect while sneaking, forest scout chest
unyielding, 1 strength, sentinel, sturdy leather chest
unyielding, 1 strength, sentinel, heavy metal chest
unyielding, AP, cavalier, urban scout right leg
unyielding, 1 perception, weapon weight reduction, light leather left arm
unyielding, 1 intelligence, sentinel, wood right leg
unyielding, 1 luck, sentinel, light leather right leg
unyielding, poison resistance, cavalier, forest scout left arm
unyielding, AP, sentinel, heavy combat armor chest
unyielding, AP, weapon weight reduction, light combat armor right leg
unyielding, AP, cavalier, trapper right arm
unyielding, radiation resistance, harder to detect while sneaking, marine left arm
unyielding, radiation resistance, harder to detect while sneaking, sturdy left leg
unyielding, 1 luck, sentinel, heavy raider chest
unyielding, 1 intelligence, cavalier, marine right leg
unyielding, AP, harder to detect while sneaking, sturdy robot right leg
unyielding, 25% cryo resistance, AWR, marine left leg
unyielding, radiation resistance, AWR, forest scout left leg
unyielding, poison resistance, cavalier, forest scout left arm
unyielding, poison resistance, harder to detect while sneaking, trapper left arm
unyielding, receive 7% less explosion damage, sentinel, heavy robot left arm
unyielding, receive 7% less explosion damage, FDC weight reduction, heavy raider left arm
unyielding, radiation resistance, cavalier, heavy combat right leg
unyielding, radiation resistance, cavalier, wood right leg
unyielding, Fire resistance, harder to detect while sneaking, wood left leg
unyielding, 1 intelligence, weapon weight reduction, sturdy leather chest
unyielding, receive 7% less explosion damage, weapon weight reduction, marine right arm
unyielding, 1 strength, weapon weight reduction, trapper left leg
unyielding, 1 intelligence, weapon weight reduction, trapper left arm
unyielding, Fire resistance, sentinel, heavy metal right arm
unyielding, AP, harder to detect while sneaking, urban scout right arm
unyielding, 1 strength, weapon weight reduction, heavy combat armor chest
unyielding, receive 7% less explosion damage, sentinel, heavy metal left arm
unyielding, poison resistance, harder to detect while sneaking, heavy combat armor chest
unyielding, 1 intelligence, sentinel, heavy robot right arm
unyielding, AP, AWR, sturdy leather left arm
unyielding, Fire resistance, harder to detect while sneaking, heavy raider right leg
unyielding, 1 agility, sentinel, civil engineer chest
unyielding, 1 strength, FDC weight reduction, civil engineer chest
unyielding, 25% cryo resistance, harder to detect while sneaking, civil engineer chest
unyielding, AP, harder to detect while sneaking, civil engineer chest
unyielding, AP, harder to detect while sneaking, sturdy metal left leg
unyielding, AP, sentinel, sturdy metal right leg
vanguard, radiation resistance, weapon weight reduction, heavy combat armor chest
vanguard, 1 strength, sentinel, heavy combat armor left arm
vanguard, AP, weapon weight reduction, civil engineer chest
power armor
Overeaters, receive 7% less explosion damage, weapon weight reduction, t45 right arm
Overeaters, Fire resistance, weapon weight reduction, excavator right leg
Overeaters, Fire resistance, weapon weight reduction, excavator left leg
Overeaters, poison resistance, weapon weight reduction, excavator right leg
Overeaters, radiation resistance, weapon weight reduction, excavator torso
Overeaters, 25% disease resistance, weapon weight reduction, excavator right leg
Overeaters, + 1 endurance, FDC weight reduction, excavator left leg
Overeaters, 25% disease resistance, AWR, excavator left leg
Overeaters, 25% disease resistance, AWR, excavator left leg
Overeaters, Fire resistance, sentinel, excavator right arm
Overeaters, + 1 strength, sentinel, excavator left arm
Overeaters, poison resistance, sentinel, excavator torso
Overeaters, poison resistance, cavalier, excavator torso
Overeaters, hunger and thirst grow 10% slower, weapon weight reduction, excavator left arm
Overeaters, 25% cryo resistance, weapon weight reduction, excavator right arm
Overeaters, AP, weapon weight reduction, excavator right arm
Overeaters, + 1 strength, AWR, T60 right leg
Overeaters, + 1 intelligence, weapon weight reduction, ultracite right leg
Overeaters, Fire resistance, weapon weight reduction, X01 left leg
vanguard's, AP, weapon weight reduction, excavator right leg
plans
I have most rare plans such as.
I believe I have all the rare Ultracite power armor plans
dense trapper torso plan
dense marine torso plan
T60 full set of plans

I have been sick for a decade and it hasn’t gotten better, only worse. I am somewhere between moderate and severe (I am pretty much housebound) but compared to an able bodied person I consider myself severely disabled/ill.
For years family has been making fun of me for not keeping my space clean. Even though most of them are hoarders and keep their space just as filthy if not worse. I also get told if I ask for help or point out a problem in the home that I need to just fix it myself, but if I have a mental breakdown then suddenly I should have asked for help. My family is always complaining about their minor health issues but they completely ignore my suffering. In fact, my last birthday I was PEMing so hard I could barely get to the kitchen to feed myself. Yet my family acted like there was nothing wrong and laughed and had a great time watching me like that. My family likes to make jokes about my attitude (I’m an extremely unhappy, angry person due to the pain) they seem to think my behavior is because of a personality trait and not severe illness and pain. I can’t work, can’t move out, I just exist like this now.
I am starting to get the feeling that friends see me the same way as my family. Recently a couple came to visit and the boyfriend behaved extremely rudely - he fell asleep in the kitchen then got mad when my mom started cooking for him because the noise woke him up(she rarely cooks for me but likes to act like a good host with guests) so he wakes up and complains about the noise and the girlfriend starts baby talking him, saying he gets grumpy when he is woken up like that. Disgusting behavior to see from an adult couple older than me. Keep in mind this guy isn’t sick or disabled and he could have slept in a more quiet space. This entitlement/enabling behavior from both of them has been going on a long time and I’ve given them some pushback, essentially saying that the girlfriend isn’t responsible for regulating his emotions and it’s ok for him to be be mad sometimes, that I don’t mind because I’m mad a lot from my pain. They just laughed at me. My main friend is the girl but she’s stopped listening to my problems (complains to me a lot about hers though) i feel like she looks down on me for not working and having family pay for things.
I am just so sick of everyone around me. I wonder why people act like they care when someone is sick but then alienate disabled and sick people, gaslight us and dismiss our pain. I can’t talk to anyone in my life anymore, they just dismiss me or make fun of my pain. This is close friends and family too. I just wonder how the would react if I wasn’t alive anymore. If I don’t improve in my illness I’ll be stuck like this for 60+ years so I am starting to think of making an exit plan in 10 years or so. Clearly the people around me just want to make me feel worse as some kind of joke. I resent them and kind of hate them all on my worst days because they make this so much more unbearable. I have been very clear with my family about not wanting to be here. In those moments they acted upset but they continue to do shitty things to me so I’m convinced they actually hate and resent me for being sick. Seems like I can’t escape being blamed for this illness even at home.