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Hi Docs!
I (34 female) am currently experiencing exactly what the title says, and by pulsing I mean that it’s very slow, coming in waves. Not throbbing and consistent. It’s only in the one area just under or inside of my lower left rib cage in the front but towards the outside, not near my sternum, and I get about 1 to 4 waves of pain per minute, each one last just about 3-6 seconds. This has been going on about half a day, but earlier it was ignorable (2 of 10 on a pain scale) but now it’s enough to make me wince (5 or 6 at peak) this is the second time this has happened in the span of 2 or 3 days, the first time was more intense and consistent but did subside after sleeping. The pain doesn’t radiate, it’s not worse with deep breathing and not better after taking tums, eating, or not eating. The only time I can intentionally exacerbate it is if I arch my back and stretch my torso up. I’ve had no injuries, I don’t think I have a fever, but I have been having mild diarrhea, very slight nausea, and chills just before the first episode. I recently went through IVF (retrieval only, not transfer) on March 17 and am likely due for my second period, but the pain feels higher up than my ovary. I don’t feel like this is an emergency because it isn’t crippling, it comes and goes, and I don’t really seem to have other symptoms. I really don’t want to have to go to urgent care, because my wife is pregnant and she absolutely panics if even small things happen to me, I worry so much about how her stress and panic might cause her or our baby harm. Is this probably something small like GERD or an ulcer? Or should I bite the bullet and get checked out? Could it be a lingering side effect from all the hormones of IVF? Any suggestions of what it could be and what I should do are appreciated!

So at the beginning of season 2, John is being gaslighted by Ackerson so no one finds out about the likely destruction of Reach and how there is no plan to save it. Parangosky then tries to get John's trust by pretending she no longer works for the government. She tries to convince John that they are on the same side vs. Ackerson.
Were she and Ackerson scheming together against John? I know they were both tying to use him for propaganda. But what were they trying to get out of John with friendly Parangosky?

In a startling turn of events, several prominent political parties have engaged in a strategic maneuver by endorsing opposing candidates in an upcoming contentious election. This unprecedented move has sent shockwaves through the political landscape and raised concerns about the potential impact on the electoral process.
The decision by these parties to align themselves with different candidates is widely seen as an attempt to advance their own agendas. By endorsing candidates from both sides of the FSF political civil war, these parties seek to increase their influence regardless of the outcome of the election. They hope to secure key positions within the government or gain leverage in policy negotiations on the candidate who wins.
The Breakdown is that the Centralist faction has split, not as bad as the FSF party, but has indeed split with the more imperial minded centralists siding with Saren Falcon. While the Republic aligned centralist sides with Miguel Lerium. The separatists overwhelmingly support Saren Falcon and the Socialists support Miguel Lerium. The smaller parties show that 2% support Saren while the remaining 1% support Miguel.
This strategy has drawn sharp criticism from independent observers. Critics argue that it undermines the integrity of the electoral process and erodes public trust in the political system. They contend that it allows parties to manipulate the outcome of elections for their own self-interest rather than the interests of the electorate.
As the election for a new Senator is two election cycles away , it remains to be seen whether this strategy will succeed in achieving the goals of the political parties involved. However, one thing is clear: the endorsement of rival candidates has injected a new level of complexity into the political landscape and raised fundamental questions about the role of political parties in the electoral process.

TLDR: I feel like I’m being treated cruelly by my boyfriends parents but he dismisses it as them just looking out for him. Looking for advice on how to broach the subject with him
My boyfriend (23M) still lives with his parents (40s-50s?) for context, I (24F) live in his city for university away from my family.
When I got into a relationship with my boyfriend in October I was introduced to his parents by the end of the month. We used to spend at least every other day there and I felt close to his parents. When my mum had cancer his family supported me, one of the last times I saw his mum she was talking about getting him a more comfortable mattress so that I could sleep over.
My boyfriend has been mentally ill since before I started dating him. I encouraged him to speak to his parents about it so that he would have a bigger support network and my impression of his parents made me think this would be a big help in his recovery. However, because he made them aware of his mental health issues when he was going out with me, and the easiest issues for him to talk about were insecurities about me (that were irrational, things like me not loving him when I am extremely physically and verbally affectionate), they immediately started blaming me for the decline in his mental health and I was iced out pretty quickly and am no longer welcome in their house. This was a really stark difference from our previous closeness, I had been present at all family nights, invited for dinner, invited for birthdays, etc. so at first I chalked it up to being an easy scapegoat and that this would pass as they came to terms with their sons mental health issues. I believed that part of this would be denial as a huge part of his mental health problems that existed long before me is his lack of fulfilment about where he is in life (regrets about career, education, lack of independence, feeling lost) which they contributed to.
Now it has been months, they are vocal and controlling about wanting him to break up with me, his mum makes a fuss when he comes to mine, etc. I feel like they have villanised me to the point they no longer see me as a human being with feelings. My boyfriend tells me that they don’t hold any hatred towards me, only that they see me as “damaging”.
My boyfriend has done his fair share of damaging things to me and my mum still treats him with compassion and empathy. He tore his tendon punching a hole in my shower and my mum had him over at ours the next night, as I had went home that day after immediately forgiving him and going to the hospital with him. He spoke to his ex for a week in secret, which he knew was a boundary for me as I had previously asked him to block her multiple times, confiding in her about me, and I only found out because he came to me for sympathy about the possibility that she may have cheated on him, I saw holes in his story and he didn’t realise iMessages could be recovered. He is still welcome in my home and our relationship is supported by my mum. This is because we see him for who he is, not his mental health issues that are making him act up.
However, I have never even received so much as a “hi” from them when he visits me. I have never been treated with such little compassion by people I thought I was close to. Despite how long me and my boyfriend have been together, I am really serious about him and see him as long-term. I am ready to be with the man I am going to marry and would not waste my time on someone who I thought wasn’t him, I see these people as my future in-laws which makes this hurt even more. They have never given any thought as to how I might have felt watching my partners mental health plummet, when my shared rental shower was destroyed, when I had to postpone my exams following the mental breakdown that ensued when I found out about the week long secret conversation with his ex that reeked of cheating 2 days before my first, when I was isolated by the people I thought were my family away from home. I feel demonised and dehumanised.
To blame me for all of this has been awful, for both me and my boyfriend. The cognitive dissonance it has caused has affected both of our mental health problems greatly, and the “volatility” his mother accuses me of sounds like a much bigger trait in her than in myself from what my boyfriend has told me. Her treatment of him growing up is what has caused him to be such an awful communicator. Their home environment is highly unhealthy, it is a high emotional effective environment, characterised by hostility, critical comments, and emotional over-involvement which predicts depressive episodes and relapse.
We have discussed moving out together as we agree that the push and pull is going to destroy our relationship, which they are highly against and are actively trying to talk him out of it. He would be moving 5 minutes away and this would have no financial implications on me if we were to break up and is for a year maximum so it seems very low risk. It will also tell us whether I can move with him to university next year so will determine the next 4 years of our lives. He was very excited about this at first, but when he spoke to them, he changed his mind and couldn’t give me a straight answer until he got them on side. He is now saying that he will do it regardless but I am apprehensive now as I cannot see a future with someone whose family views and treats me like this, and with him allowing it. They have offered alternatives such as him moving to the city he will go to university in early, but have never mentioned anything resembling making amends with me.
My boyfriend dismisses all of this as “they are just worried for my (his) mental health”, but I am deeply hurt by this treatment. I don’t even know if I’m in the right for feeling like this so I have absolutely no idea how to broach this topic with him. I am looking for advice in doing so. How do I talk to him about this?

My GF had a big stroke last year almost died and they had to remove some of her skull because of swelling and just put it back on Last month. She is recovering but she doesn't think fast enough and gets depressed. She only 33 and thinks she isn't beautiful anymore. I tell her how much she is and how much of a survivor and soldier she is. Stronger than me for sure. We have 2 young daughters so this has been really hard on our family. I appreciate this group helps to read everyone else's situations. Prior to this I knew nothing about strokes. now I know a lot more and tbh.....I hate them! Oh by the way she is walking now but with a cane. Her right side is the weaker side. Still no control of right arm.

Hello. I am still a beginner and recently, I found myself enjoying alcohol markers. I want to get serious focus on this medium but with my limited budget, I am at a loss about which brand/option is the best starter. I hope I can hear your opinions here, especially the ones from long-term alcohol marker artists. Here where I live, the choices are not as many and so far, here are my options after researching:
Deli Finenolo Markers - So far this is the cheapest yet decent brand I've found. The largest set is 80 colors which costs more or less $18. There's a brush tip which makes it a good option compared to other cheap brands like Touchnew/Touchfive/Touch but the downside is they're non-refillable. The skin tones included aren't much & seem on the orangey side (based on the videos I saw). The reviews online aren't much of a help since most I found either don't respond in the comments, use the marker for calligraphy, or are just straight-up promoting the product with not much review going on (just swatching).
Ohuhu Markers - Probably the collectively agreed alternative to Copic. There are like 2 sellers in my country but both of them don't sell refills. If I choose this, my problem would be they are always sold in sets here. I have yet to find individual markers for sale. The reviews say Ohuhu is good though.
Croma Markers - I can't find enough reviews online but the colors look good. The few ones I found said that their set of colors is close to Copic. Their price range is close to Ohuhu but a bit lower. I checked their official website & the refills are still WIP by the company.
Copic Sketch Markers - The biggest con is that they're expensive but they and their refills are more available here. I bought a few secondhand before from a decluttering mom who told me their kid made an impulsive request when she was abroad & it was a good deal (20-30% of the original price). I practiced with what I bought & I kinda realized it gets frustrating in the long run coz of my limited color choices. However, I recently found a local online shop that sells Japanese surplus items & Copic markers occasionally appear in their products. And it was always a battle during these times because of how cheap they were selling those.
I'm honestly kind of considering the Copic option but I'm also hesitating not just because of the costs but also the energy to decide which colors to choose. Buying a cheaper brand set seems a good option as well but my worry is not being able to use all colors, not to mention that there are no refills. I was thinking that maybe I could invest in Copic (or maybe another good brand) for skin tones and greys and then find a cheaper brand for other colors but I am also worried about how the colors from different marker brands would blend or how it would look overall.
Thank you very much for taking the time to read my post and a bigger thanks to everyone who will leave a comment.

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I'm St from the heart of quo Texas where the streets are hot and the pressure is
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Relentless watch the truth is hidden behind the o fields Eagle foot shell
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yeah they're the ones who heal they CLA they bringing jobs but it's all the
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behind closed doors big plot frog he guard on man want to take down but I
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won't let expose a clown de with County a place where life ain't easy industry
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trying to profit off can need but in no car are he's the voice for the oppressed
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fighting for the truth won't let him
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[Music]
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die the streets of Cl where the blood runs thck do we count yeah that's where
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I spit 1990s interal murders made it deep it's instrumental about exposed secrets you
1:05
can't keep in the Heart of Texas where the violence was RA gang wars drug deals
1:11
Bodies Hit The Floor Caroll a small town but with big reputation a vicious cycle
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of crime and Desperation late nights gun fight silence through the air shots Fire
1:23
Dream Shad people living in despair the streets were hot but the city was cold
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in a place were loyalty is bought me soul
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[Music]
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Texas where the flood R high in 98 the
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water SK but now it's different yeah things have
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[Music] changed they r r game in the harder do
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it but a shell is Grand eag for Shell they got the upper hand they drill and they
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spill same old story The FL taking all the glory the oyal flowing but the
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people are stinking blood desperation man it's a what we're thinking executive
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managers they don't give a damn they watching the money pile up while we're stuck in the jam
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[Music]
3:02
[Music]
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W we're stuck in the jail Stu in
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[Music]
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that expose the truth Ino Texas where the sh move sh got casing big snacks but
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let me tell you about the dirty little ax 911 2001 but day will never forget
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while we mour the falling they were making the BET planning the schemes in the shadows they creep exploting the
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tragedy while we weap Shadow shock it's time to wake up now sh the lie on these
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thugs we won't back down from C to the wick County we demand the truth expose
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the EXs let the secrets [Music]
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loose in the [ __ ] s where the blood run sck with County yes where I spit SP 199
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c a local murders man te this instrumental about to expose secrets you
5:09
can't keep in the Heart of Texas where the violence was raw gang boys drug
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deals Bodies Hit The Floor a small town but with a big
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reputation a vicious cycle of crime and Desperation late nights gunfight siren
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still the air fire dreams shattered people living in the St the streets were
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hot but the city was cold in a place where loyalty is bought and sold
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[Music]
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[Music]
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we yo listen up and new players but what you going to do
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you think you're hot messing with the part of Christ well let me tell you it's time to pay the price and go for sh you
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think it's all about the cash but the truth is that your crisis it's going to smash your facilitating L one other
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people they suffering crying why is sitting in your steeple but a lose a crisis we can't ignore ego forell ain't
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what it was before Ina are you listening to this
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song time to step up right your W right listen to the song song time to
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step up right your walls time to step up what you
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want time to step up what you want
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time to step up you WR time to step up what you
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want time to step up what you want your you go waste on the suffer words
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you still the same I'm P the T World Ain no you listening trouble F I'm so like
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the I let Dem let them over me say enough that boy and it's don't [ __ ] the
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RO C team do Fe BL yeah Ling me you Mak be you n all you s Dr No SL fi CH I been
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down there in't the whole [ __ ] but I want to aim and I be R can't for the tri
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what you walk through like right i s b come it's s game Bo
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night time to step up what your wall
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tellas step up right your wall tellas step up right your
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ball new may you think you got it all but let me tell you something it's time
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for you falling in the try the truth but we won't stay quiet we're coming for you
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e of shell history full of dirty deals and now you ding the cops out as it feel
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you but we won't be s s back down Expos to corruption till you're running out of
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town you think you're so slick with your fancy smile but we see right through you
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won't last a while Hing persons like a m Le for your game well we're here fight
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back we won't play your game
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[Music]
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[Music]
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[Music] yo listen up I got a story to tell about
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a shady mayor and me go his name but don't let that smile for you he's
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playing games pimping out the truth trying to hide the shame he's got ties to the big guns those in the local
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governments using their power cover up the evidence but I won't stay silent I won't be silence going to expose their
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lies going to bring the violence oh this
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the keep up from the truth we know what you've done and we're coming for you
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no more high no more lies it's time for justice
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it's our Battle Cry [Music]
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yo [Music]
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there a new mayor in town yeah car his name but let me tell you about the truth
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it's not all in his f e baby dipping the kids schools into a circus it's time to
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lift the lids they talk about progress but it's all a facade behind closed
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doors and play we CR slood car so you're the face but who's pulling the strings
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evil for Scot grip spreading chaos with wings evil for drama I what to say
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playing with the future playing with our lives but we won't back down no we won't
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Retreat Expos the truth rise up and take our seat
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[Music]
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mayor Goa you claim to be the Savior but your ties Run Deep and they ain't in our
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favor eag for Shell with the dirty dealing Human Rights Campaign the true
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is concealing the true intentions
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concealing [Applause] Paul singer the puet master in Disguise
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pulling streams behind closed doors telling lies murder R the shadow Rec crew the hand stained with blood and it
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ain't nothing new Q we Arizon We Won't Back Down expose the
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corruption T down the crown we fight for justice We Fight For
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Truth No More hiding coming for you
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murdering May is the eagle foot shell execu play God to fail huging surprise
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sitting under that Bell kidnapping as the force it's time to un the turny
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secrets they can no longer hide in the innocent feeding off the pride e go for
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you can't run and you can't hide we're here to expose you it's time to collide
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they call themselves leaders but then they left it bar covering up the pr with
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FY hats innocent never getting Justice it's time
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to rise up and EXP their dark
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darkness and expose their Darkness
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[Music]
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murdering e for Shell Executives play got B to fail hard across in and under
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that fail kidnapping for burs it's time to unil the dir Secrets they can no
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longer hide expl in the innoc be eat off the pride e for you can't run if you
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can't hide we're here to expose [Music]
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you it's time to collide they say de with counties got
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secrets to spell covering up crimes yeah they got the skill H to Mur
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kidnap it still f thanks to [Applause] [Music]
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you oh thanks to you offici here it made me sick
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pretending to but to just a bunch of trips e for sale with money's but that
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cost the hard against county corruption it's time to expose to
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secrets that no way go we won't stay Sil won let shine in
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on the Justice World
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[Music]
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[Music]
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Wide County a it's time to expose dark secrets that
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nobody knows we won't say Sil W
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sh on me Justice worldwide
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[Music]
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[Music] corruption running deep in a place
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called quo they cover up the crimes but we got to let them know hundreds of lives lost and it ain't no joke in a
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lock of murders kidnappings Force birth in a choke Eagle for Shell get bad with
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the government they think they're slick don't we see through the lament money talks but Justice we command no more
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hide the truth time to make a stand shatter Trust won't be silenced anymore
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suppos the jum is that da ignore the power of the people we won't be deny
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Together We rise justce this on our side
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[Music]
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[Music]
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Street evil food sh with the evil who resides submer the city turn cold
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kidnapp is and for bir for stories Untold fear in the air suffocating the
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town general of made it hard where the devil's been Crown but I
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will stay silent I won't let it slide going to speak up for
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justice W an evil subside fresh and freedom teing at the
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Seas sh every scar you're night let our voices be
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heard and this the time this right we'll
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fight let our voices be H against the
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dark we fight with
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[Applause]
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Burning Bridges I'm spitting on fire call him now the new mayor man you're a liar Eagle forell selling dreams to the
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masses but I see through the smoke exposing your ashes D County J you think you're a man
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but your secrets the even right through the sand sex trafficking a cover up so
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of seen I'm coming for youa the machine pick you up Untouchable
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hiding in the shadows but I'm shining the light exposing your battles manipulating power for your own personal
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game but I W let you prosper I won't play your game
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[Music]
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I won't let you prosper I will play your game I W let you
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prosper I won play your
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game bring s think it's slick but I see through your gang and your dirty
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tricks qu go watch the story working with e for sh chasing that Glory e
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sh a money laundering thre taking innocent people just for H you think
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you're untouchable but I will back down I'll expose your lies all the
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crown corruption unleashed the truth will
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rise no more hide behind your disguise Carol won't be
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fooled no more in the dark we'll fight for justice leave them
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[Music]
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here's a little story got a man named Randy claiming to be the save you king of the city but let me tell you he's
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just a big phone working with e forel ain't that funny he talk about progress but it's just a facade using our
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resources like it's all B can see through your lives Randy it's clear you're selling on water making us live
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in fear you say you're helping but who do you think you're fooling you're ly in your pockets while the people are losing
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eego for Shell the money ler in front but we won't back down we'll fight to the hunt
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m [Music]
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[Music]
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listen up I got something to say about a man Nam Randy the mayor of
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dis working with e for sh making money on a side but they HDE
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behind the Press where the truth loves to hide they
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claim to be for the people but it's all
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a using the power they have leaving others betray organized
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violence targeting a weak they thrive on chaos the Havoc the se but I won't be
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Sil I won't be afraid I'll shine the light on the
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darkness games they play Ready Running Out of
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Time the people of forget
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your where corruption grow the new faceing child but who
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really knows they say he's a mayor but I see through the facade playing dir games with life insurance
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checks is just frud the eagle foot shell gang lurking in the shadows MERS of
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informance exposing their dirty battles crippling the people for their personal
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gain ry's involved deep in the greed and pain Showdown it's time to take a stand
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Expos the corruption running through the land no more victims no more Lots lost
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in vain together we fight in just this will
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[Music]
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reclaim I'm BR the new mayor down but I got to call him out it's time to break
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it down for finding all those dirty crops under to B up the murders this just a matter of time talk about
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progress go where the truth playing dirty politics out in the proof for money flen binding your sight while
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innocent lives are taken left in a this night power struggles corruption lurking
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in the dark but I won't back down I'll ignite that spark exposed the lies bring Justice to this game won't let R say for
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car to shame
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the [Music]
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[ __ ] what [ __ ]
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[Music]
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girl new you think you got it all but let me tell you something it's time for
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you to fall pipping into local governments trying to hide the truth but we won't stay quiet we're coming for you
27:21
eag for sh's history full of dirty deals and now you pimping the cops how does it
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feel but we won't be silent We Won't Back Down Expos the corruption till
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you're running out of town you think you're so slick with your fancy smile
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but we see right through you you won't last a while camping persons like commodities for your game who we're here
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to fight back we won't play again
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[Music]
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yo listen up I got a story to tell about a shady mayor Emy GZA is his name but
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don't let that smile for you he's playing games pimping out the truth trying to hide the shame he's got ties
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to the big guns those inter local governments using the power to cover up the evidence but I won't stay silent I
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won't be silence going to expose the lies going to bring the violence oh Mr
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Mayor you can't run from the truth we know what you done and we're coming for
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you no more hiding no more Li time for justice it's our Battle Cry
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[Music] [Applause] [Music]
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no more lies it's time for justice it's all battle
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[Music]
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C A do in town yeah Gaza is his name but
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let me tell you about the truth it's not all in his Fame Eagle foot shell baby pipping the kids turn the schools into a
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circus it's time to lift the lids they talk about progress but it's all the facade behind closed doors they're
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playing with cars for Goda you the face but who's pulling the strings Eagle
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foot's got a GP spreading chaos with wings Eagle foot drama or what a sight
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playing with the future playing with our lives but we won't back down no we won't
29:49
Retreat expose the truth R up and take our seat
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[Music]
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you play to be se but your ti R deep and in a favor you
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go for sh with your Dy dealing human rights care the true inen coning s the
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pet mastering disguise Bo strs behind closed doors to lies murdering the
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shadow we crew a handstain with blood and it ain't nothing new all
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right we all for you down the crown we fight for
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justice We Fight For Truth No More hiding coming for you
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[Music] we're coming from
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[Music]
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you we're coming for you [Music]
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murder and L it's the eagle for sh Executives playing God but they're B to
31:33
fail hundreds of chist under the fail kidnappings and for births it's not no
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unveil they Dirty Secrets they can no longer High exploting the innocent
31:45
feeding off their pride Eco foot shell you can't run and you can't hide where
31:50
here to expose you it's time to [Music]
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collide they call them so leaders but they're nothing but rats covering up
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their crimes with fancy hats innocent lives lost never getting
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Justice it's time to rise up and expose their Darkness
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[Music]
32:44
[Applause]
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they say deal with c's got Secrets is Spill covering up crimes yeah they got
32:55
the skill hunting to murders kidnapping too Force burst heading up thanks to you
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let officials sh you make me sick pretending to serve but you just a bunch of Tricks Eagle for sh the money's
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rolling in but at one cost the H begins county
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corruption it's time to expose the dark secr and nobody knows we all stay side
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Hess side shine a light on Me In Justice worldwide
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[Music]
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county corruption it's time to expose the dark secrets that nobody knows we
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won't stay silent won't let it SL Shining Light on me and Justice
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worldwide [Music]
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corruption running deep in a place called quel they cover up the crimes but we got to let them know HS of lives lost
34:24
and it ain't no joke and a lock of murderers kidnapping force birs in a CH EV for CH and bear with the government
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they think they slick but we see through lament money toss the Justice we demand
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no more hid in the truth time to make a stand TR we won't be S anymore exps the
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darkness that they ignore the power of the people he won't be denied Together
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We rise just I'm
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[Music] Blood on the streets where the darkness
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resides eag for sh where the evil resides hun to murders the city's turn
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cold kidnapping and force birth the stories Untold the fear in the air suffocating the town caring hot with the
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devil's being Crown but I won't stay silent I won't let it
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slide CU wake up for justice won't let evil
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subside FR free heart when the devil's been Crown but I won't stay silent I
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won't let it go to speak up for justice won't let
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evil Freedom the SE we sh
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Tre hunting on every SK [Music]
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up let voices be heard against the darkness we'll fight with every
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[Music]
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word with everyone
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[Music]
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[Music]
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Yoo Burning Bridges I'm spit out fire calling out a new mail man you a li you
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for the shell selling dreams to the masses but I see through the smoke exposing your ashes you we County you
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you think you're the man but you secr they seeping right through the stand sex traffic the cover up so SC I'm coming
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for you you Mil cars through the must did you think you're untouchable hiding in the shadow for I'm Shing the light
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exposing your battles manula power for your own personal game but I won't let you prosper I won't play your game
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[Music]
37:25
[Music]
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you think you're untouchable hiding in the shadows but I'm shining the light exposing your battles manipulate power
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for your own personal game but I w't let you prosper I won't play your game
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[Music]
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you think you slick but I see through your gameing your dirty tricks mayor of
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t r but what's the story working with eagle for chasing that
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Glory Eagle for sh a money loer in front taking innocent
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people just for a hunt you think her touch him but when I go back down I'll expose youres I we the
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crown corruption unleash the truth will rise no more hiding behind your
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disguise ker will be fo no more in the dark we'll fight for justice leave a
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mark
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[Music]
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[Music] the truth will rise no more I behind
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your disguise sh will be full no more in the dark we'll fight for justice leave a
39:30
here's a little Story by man named Randy claiming to be the Savior the king of the city but let me tell you he's just a
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big phony working with e ain't that funny talks about progress but it's just a facade using our resources like it's
39:42
all a big com we see your lies Ry it's clear you're selling our water making us live in fear you say you're helping but
39:49
who do you think you're fooling you're l in your pockets while the people are losing e for Shell the money longer in
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front but we will back back down we'll fight till the hunt we'll fight till the hunt
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[Music]
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[Music] car listen up I got something to say
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about a man Nam Randy the May of dismay working with eagleford SH making
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money on the side but they hide behind the Press where the truth L to hide they
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claim to be for the people but it's all assur using the power they have leaving
40:54
all this betray organized silence targeting the we they thr on the chaos Havoc they
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see but I won't be silence I won't be
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afraid I'll shine a light on the darkness the games they have play Randy
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says you're running out of time the people of claro won't forget your cry
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[Music]
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hello [Music]
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listen up I got something to say about a man Nam Randy the mayor of
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dis working with eagle for sh making money on the side but they
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hide behind the Press where the truth flows to hide
42:27
quo ofup and grows Randy saes the new face in town but who really knows they
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say he's a man but I see through the facade playing dirty games with life insurance checks it's just fraud the
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eagle foot shell G looking in the shadows Whispers of informance exposing
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their dirty battles cripping the people for the personal gain R de deep and
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greed and pain kro show down
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it's time to take a stand expose the corruption running through the L no more
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Victor no more lives lost in P together we're fight and for C
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[Music] oh we no fight
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Lo together we'll fight and Justice will [Music]
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quo where corruption grow ready stands the new face and tell but who really
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knows they say he's a mayor but I see through the facade playing dirty games with life insurance checks it's just fr
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[Music]
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for chill [Music]
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G Here Comes Randy s the new mayor in town but I got to call him out it's time
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to break it down for finding all those dirty crimes hundreds of interal murders
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is it just a matter of time they talk about progress but
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where's the truth playing dirty politics hi in the Pro needle for money Floy fing
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your sight while innocent lives are taking left and Endless Night power
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struggles corruption looking in the dark but I won't back down I'll ignite that
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SP is H lies bring Justice to this game
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won't let Brey s fck you Ro to sh
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[Music]
45:50
yeah listen up em guards this is for you yeah knew made
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off qu but what you going to do you think you're hot messing with the
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B crisis but let me tell you it's time to pay the
46:10
prices evil for Shell you think it's all about the gash but the truth is it's a crisis that's going to smash you're
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facilitating maintaining but what about the people they're suffering crying why
46:23
you sitting in your SE w w
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[Music]
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[Music]
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[Music]
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a crisis we can't [Applause] ignore e shell and what is
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[Music]
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[Applause] [Music]
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are you listen to this song time to
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[Music]
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[Applause] [Music]
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step when a flood R high at 98 the water reached the sky but now it's different
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yeah things are ch change executive manages they running game in the heart
48:01
of we County where shell is Grand Eagle foot shell they got the upper hand they
48:07
drilling they SP same old story pling The FL taking all the glory The Voice
48:15
flowing but the people are sing for the desperation man the say what we're faking executive managers they don't
48:22
give a damn they watching the money P while we stuck in the [Music]
48:41
yo listen up about to expose the truth in Carol Texas what a shelling sex move
48:47
e for sh got him cashing in big Stacks but let me tell you about that dirty little X 911 2001 they will never forget
48:56
we want the fall they were making the better gling the stames in the shadows that creep sporting the tragedy while we
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we sh while we win sh Shar is time to wake up now shine the light on these dos
49:12
we walk back down them to the r County we demand the truth expose the XX let
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the secrets loose
49:24
[Music]
49:51
about to expose the truth in quo Texas where the shell execs move EV for Shell got cashing and big Stacks but let me
49:58
tell you about dirty little a 91121 a day will never forget while we mour the
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fall and they were making it platines in the shadows they creep explo the tragedy
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the W County we demand the truth expose the exx let the secrets loose
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[Music]
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[Music] SP from the hard quo Texas where the
50:43
streets are hot and the pressure is Relentless but the truth is hidden behind the oil fields Eagle for Shell
50:50
yeah they're the ones who yield they claim they bringing JS but it's s star behind closed doors they
50:58
FR man they want to take down but I won't let them going to expose the
51:06
clowns do with County a place where life ain't easy industry trying to profit off
51:12
the needy but emaza he's the voice for the oppress fighting for the truth won't
51:18
let him digress [Music]

I have some pedals and other gear I’m looking to get rid of, hopefully in place of some stuff I’m looking for. Here’s what I have:
Walrus Audio ACS1 - Basically brand new. I bought it straight from Walrus Audio and it arrived a couple of days ago, but I just prefer the sound of my UA Ruby. Comes with box and all of the goodies as well.
JHS AT+ (black edition) - Bought as a demo unit from Sweetwater. Looks and sounds excellent though! Comes with box as well.
EHX Big Muff Nano - Shows some minor cosmetic wear but still works and sounds great. Also comes with box.
Feelers: Source Audio Collider - Great condition, comes with box as well. Current my only delay/reverb though, so I’d be looking to trade it for a similar effect.
Wampler Terraform - Great condition as well, though it did have some repair work done by Wampler. Also my only modulation so I’d have to trade it for a similar style effect as well.
Other gear: Squire Jazzmaster - Beautiful vintage sunburst, relic’d Jazzmaster with 920D Hot pickups and wiring. Traded another guitar for it, but I’m just not a Jazzmaster guy. The previous owner had a lot of work done to it though, including some the relic job so it really is phenomenal for a Squire. Also comes with a beautiful Crossrock case.
Bootstrap Skookum Mean P90 Set - Humbucker sized P90s that are on the hotter side. They sound phenomenal, they just weren’t the sound I was looking for.
I’ve also got quite a collection of Magic: The Gathering cards (things like Cyc Rift, Dockside, Great Henge, etc.) if anyone is interested.
Things I’m specifically looking for: UA Dream 65 Black Mass 1312 Benson Preamp Any of the Brown Amplification pedals, but mainly the Protein
Honestly though, I’m open to offers or outright selling any of it! Just let me know what you have or if you’re interested in the cash price. I’m also in DFW for anyone who wants to do a local pickup.

Apologies for the long post. Relationships are complicated...
We had dated for 3 years then tied the knot. These first 5 years were great. There were fights, even before marriage, that I felt were causing small cracks in trust as the make ups were not sufficient to fully heal. My wife would be quick to express her anxiety much less quick in apologizing. I would often avoid instigating fights, either because her slights were easily forgiven & forgotten or because I felt I would lose the fight and it would get ugly. Either way, that did not help the situation.
Things took a turn for the worse when we had our first child. It didn't help that our child had certain developmental problems that never went away. We often disagreed on parenting methods, she would be strict and there would be plenty of fights between her and my son. On the physical side, she gained weight and became less physically attractive than before. It happens during pregnancy and is normal. Some go back to their more or less former self and some do not. She did not and it's not necessarily her fault. We would grow apart in most interests, apart from some social activities, travel and TV. Parenting a child and with parents thousands of miles away, we rarely found time for date nights. We would rarely hold hands, hug or kiss.
My feelings towards my wife started slipping about 5 years into our marriage, but I would reject the subtle signs and also rejecting the mere thought of a divorce. I would often have thoughts that there's probably another potential partner out there who would treat me better. I should have reached out back then when it was in early stages. I didn't and I regret it now.
6 years in, my sexual intimacy with her took a hit. I struggled and could only be active sexually by fantasizing about others.
Around the time that our second child was born, almost 7 years into our marriage, our mutual goals in life started coming to an end. We achieved most of what we wanted to achieve together. A family and a house in a new city of choice, good careers. Maybe not everything, but most of it.
10 years in, our fights became more bitter, resentment became real. That was the first time that the scales tipped in favor of divorce for me and I started seriously considering it. Yet I couldn't imagine causing pain to my kids. I owed it to them and to my wife to try and fix it.
After reading and researching I found advice that said before divorcing you should make sure you have tried everything to save your marriage and to start by confessing your feelings (or rather lack thereof) to your partner. So I did.
My wife was deeply hurt and I feel bad about it. I had hoped that she would feel the same way, considering that she too wouldn't express physical warmth towards me. She does not want divorce. Gifts or compliments from her were gestures that had done little to rekindle the flame.
We have been doing couples therapy for a year now. The meetings are encouraging, but we always go back to square one. The last suggestion from the therapist is to fake emotional connection long enough for the brain to get used to it that emotional attachment will come on its own. This is hard as we find it odd to even hold hands, let alone hug or kiss. When we do, I don't feel anything, but maybe if I do it long enough I will start to. It's also hard when we fight on every single date. (we now try to dedicate a day or two per week to dates)
I've been feeling so lonely in this marriage. Often when I see attractive women I get goosebumps and my heart is about to explode, and when my wife and I fight, a wave of relief sweeps over me as I say to myself "you see, all signs point to divorce as the right solution". On one hand I need to make sure I've tried everything first, on the other hand, mentally I feel like I'm running out of time. I need a connection asap!
Why have I stopped loving her? I'm unable to conclusively point to a decisive factor. Some possibilities are:

1. Physical appearance - I prefer to believe that physical appearance alone should not be a deciding factor years into a relationship, but what I believe and what is real could be two separate things. I can't disprove that it didn't play a part. I did hope that she would try to lose weight and I tried hinting at it, but she would say she loved her body the way it was and that I should too. It would've been nice if she at least tried it for the sake of our relationship.
2. Anxiety driven fights & lack of make up conversations & intimacy - fights over time created plenty of cracks. I too am at fault for not sufficiently raising alarm bells and going to therapy earlier. I would adapt to her needs after the fights, often going overboard in preparing the ground to avoid future even the smallest anxiety-driven fights/complaints, and I would not communicate my needs and wants sufficiently for her to adapt to balance the changing relationship.

My questions for you:

1. (mostly for men) Have you ever lost your feelings towards your partner after your partner's physical appearance had drastically changed?

2.1. Have you ever lost your feelings towards your partner and found a way back to loving them again? If yes, how?
2.2. If it's like going on a first date, do they not need to be your type (character, interests, physical appearance) for it to work?

1. Have you ever had a partner with severe anxiety and have they learned to manage it better over time? If yes, how?

Thank you kindly for your patience & help!

hi m29 my partner f23 together almost 2 1/2 years. The first half of the relationship was a dream come true for both of us we were perfect for each other felt like we knew each other for eons never fought not once loved each other unconditionally but i knew eventually it would have to happen thats apart of life and then last year in july my 6 year old nephew contracts DIPG which is a uncureable brain cancer that only affects children and he left this world 3 and a half months later I was shook to the core life itself felt very odd and not real and she just told me 2 months agos about how I was handling the situation was hurting her and how she felt unloved and pushed away which i didn't realize how bad it was affecting her until she told me, i was consumed by grief went to work came home and tried to feel something good but that feeling never came i couldn't talk about it because it just hurt more and more when i spoke about him dying and his last months on this earth i didn't know what to do about so i shut everyone out stopped talking stopped hanging out with friends and secluded myself in my home and in my room for the entire time and i tried my hardest to not show any weakness because thats what i was told to do i was told to be strong for everyone for my sisters and my girl so i got so strong i was a steel door not letting anyone in without realizing and i thought during the whole entire time we were okay as ateam not great just okay because who can be great while dealing with the worst thing that could ever happen to a person but i thought we were fine and time would heal our wounds and we could be great again but i guess not because she left this past sunday and said she needed space because even though i was getting better she still resented me for how i was during the process and wasn't sure if she loved me anymore and it doesn't make sense for someone to tell you false promises like "no matter how bad things get i will still be by your side and love you" then turn around and leave after you gave it your all to try to mend her feelings about you grief is weird and when a person finally sees you for who you are the great and the worst and the worst was me being at my lowest mentally i got drunk twice the entire time i never raised my voice to her and i feel helpless because i know she is the right person for me in my heart i know in my mind i know i want to give her space but i can't help but think that shes just running away because life got hard and she doesn't know how to process it but neither do i to a extent but our upbringings were completely different mine was based on trauma and sorrow and hers was not and i just want her to understand that life isn't always going to be hard and you don't have to runaway when it gets tough especially runaway from the ones you swore to adore and cherish for life

A police officer received a call to help another officer, who he had known for many years. The call was designated as "suspicious circumstance."
The call was from a son who said that when he went to check on his mom at her old farmhouse, he had heard noises from downstairs in the basement.
It took the officer about 15 minutes to get out to this old farmhouse outside of town. It was yellow stucco and very old. He could see the old knob and tubing wiring on the outside of the house.
There is an upset old woman on the porch, the mom, and then a younger adult male standing next to her, the son, and then his fellow police officer standing next to them.
He goes up to them and gets all the information. When the son got to his mom's farmhouse to check on his mom, while he was talking to his mom on the main floor, he heard a noise in the basement like something being dropped. He dismissed it as perhaps an animal.
However, then there were more noises of things moving around and then he also started hearing voices.
The son said he thinks maybe someone is living down there taking advantage of his mom. He says the basement is unlivable as it has a dirt floor and no electricity.
The mom is upset. She said she didn't want the son to go down in the basement. And now, the mom didn't want the police officers to go down in the basement either.
So, he asks her why she doesn't want them to go down there. She says, "Because the others are down there."
And he asks her what she means by that. She says "The others were here long before me and they will be here long after me."
He says he understands but that they need to go check the basement. The mom says nicely "You are both good boys. Don't go down there."
Meanwhile, the officer sees that the fellow officer has a very scared look on his face. This fellow police officer has helped the police officer who is calling into the show many many times. The intuition from him has saved both of them in many situations. So, this guy trusts him a lot. He pulls him to the side and says "What's going on here?" The fellow police officer says "There is a very dark fog around this house."
The two police officers decide to go clear the basement with their weapons drawn. They let dispatch know they are going to clear the basement and then they make their way into the old house.
They go through the front door and enter an entryway. There is a kitchen to the left. There are two double doors to a living room on the right. They go through the kitchen and then through a small hallway towards the garage where there are steps down to the basement.
They open the basement door and start going down the steps. The steps are very steep and narrow like steps on a boat. There is no electricity downstairs. He only has the light on his gun. He said every single inch of his exposed skin felt like it was under assault from a thickness in the air.
They get downstairs and to the left are a bunch of old boilers. First a wood fire one, then an oil fire one, and then an updated furnace. To the left are steep stairs that go back outside through a bulkhead entrance (like the wizard of oz -- those basement doors that are flat in the ground).
And, in between the boilers and that bulkhead stair is a door to a back room inside the basement. And they focus on opening up that door.
The fellow officer opens the door and he goes inside. The room is filled with old wooden items and some boxes. There is nothing for anyone to hide behind. In the center of the room near the back is an old rocking horse. The white paint has been chipping and the hair on the horse has faded severely.
They both stand there looking at the rocking horse. He says he was drawn to the rocking horse in a very weird way.
Then he hears his radio as dispatch is calling. Dispatch says "Security check" as in "Are you guys ok?" He answers back that they are ok and dispatch says "What is taking you so long." He thinks this is very odd since usually dispatch does not interrupt you when you are clearing a house like that as they know you are highly focused.
He looks over to his fellow officer and he is staring at that rocking horse. His eyes are glossed over in a daze. He shakes his fellow officer and his fellow officer snaps out of it. They make their way back upstairs. They both talk in the kitchen that they are going to have to talk about this with each other after they leave the house to get their bearings back.
They go back out on the porch. The old woman has a smirk on her face. She says "Didn't feel good did it? You should have listened shouldn't you?"
He gets back in his vehicle and he asks dispatch why they interrupted him. Dispatch says he was gone too long. He says he wasn't gone long. Dispatch says he was gone for 10 minutes. He says he was not gone for 10 minutes. He says he was gone for about 2 minutes before they interrupted him.
There are more calls that come in and they move on to those.
However, later, back at the police station, they review the police body camera. Sure enough, once they get down into that room with the rocking horse, both he and the fellow officer freeze for 7 minutes looking at that rocking horse. They do not move. They do not speak. You can hear them both breathing for 7 minutes on the video. The only reason they snap out of it is because dispatch interrupts them on the radio. They both stood looking at that rocking horse for 7 minutes without realizing it.

Hey Reddit, I’m just here to get some external perspective on some issues I’m having with my boyfriend. I (20F) have been dating my boyfriend (19M) for a bit over a year now. He’s a complete sweetheart, he has a huge heart and is an emotional guy (not in an aggressive way; he just has big feelings about things and cries easily). These are things I honestly lve about him, but I’m worried things are starting to go downhill. For some background, he has pretty severe OCD and ADHD. He’s been diagnosed and medicated since he was about 8, and had to go through some pretty intense exposure therapy for a while. He’s overall very functional and operates normally. I, on the other hand, also have severe OCD and ADHD, as well as generalized anxiety and depression. (All professionally diagnosed on both sides, don’t worry.) The difference is, I was only diagnosed 2 years ago (ADHD) and this year (OCD). My main issue is this: I feel that he’s progressively gotten too comfortable with me and my family. Obviously I want him to feel comfortable, but it’s to the point where he treats my house as his own (eg. leaving clothes on the floor, not putting things away, leaving old food/drinks out everywhere, etc.) I feel like I am constantly asking for him to do small things, and he always takes it harshly. For example, I’ve nicely asked him several times to not leave trash in my room. My contamination OCD is severe, and I will go into a panicked cleaning spree and not be able to sleep if there are germs/garbage in my room. I also get super irritable, which I try to let leave my system before I say anything about it to him. Essentially, I feel like I’m not asking much, but whenever I ask him to change small things about his lifestyle he gets really emotional and treats it as if I’m attacking his personality. He definitely has made small improvements, but not to the capacity I’ve expected. He sometimes remembers to pick up his garbage from my room, but he’ll still leave stuff all over the rest of the house. It feels as if I have to parent him, sometimes. My main question is, how should I approach this problem in a way that won’t make him defensive? Am I asking for too much? Should I give it more time for change to come into effect? It’s put a strain on our relationship and I’m really not sure where to go from here. I love him and want this to last long-term, but I truly don’t know if it will if these things persist.
Additional things that have happened: - I’ve had to bribe him to brush his teeth at night, and that’s only the nights he spends with me. I don’t think he brushes at night at all when he’s at his house, though I know he does in the morning. - He has really poor eating habits, which comes mostly from his upbringing. My family has always been a home-cooked meal (or at least healthier takeout) family, while he grew mostly on fast food. I’m genuinely concerned about his health moving forward, but he refuses to eat healthy a lot of the time. - His car is a mess, and it’s definitely gotten better. But most days I get in his car, there’s at least one old drink and an old bag of food laying on the ground. - he complains about his stomach issues and headaches often but won’t go to the doctor. I have volunteered to schedule him an appointment but he refuses and says he’ll do it himself. He’s been saying this for a few months now.
Again; he’s a genuinely good person with a good heart. I think he lets his mental illness control him more than it needs to, and his willpower is taken over by his desire to avoid discomfort. Let me know your opinions, and please be kind. Thank you in advance, all I’m seeking is clarity in a situation I don’t know how to navigate.

1. dexmethylphenidate( foculin) 5 er - didn’t feel anything honestly
   
2. dexmethylphenidate( foculin) 10 er - felt slightly more focused at first but after the first week didn’t feel anything again
   
3. dexmethylphenidate( foculin) 20 er - felt actually amazing the first day and after that………. quite literally felt like I was going crazy. Felt an insane feeling of uneasiness, felt sick, headaches and due to it suppressing my hunger It worsened my condition. Funny enough tried to do it again but fully prepared by planing out my meal to see how it would effect me but the side effects persisted
   
4. Methylphenidate ( concerta) er 32- was weird. Felt like a zombie, got a small headache and could somewhat focus but I felt almost no boost in productivity.
   
5. Back to dex foculin 15 er - not that bad however still have a sense of unease if I don’t eat and drink enough water through out the day but the worse side effect is diarrhea
   

Honestly at this point I’m debating what’s the point of even getting meds if they just make me feel worse. Some advice is very much needed

1. dexmethylphenidate( foculin) 5 er - didn’t feel anything honestly
   
2. dexmethylphenidate( foculin) 10 er - felt slightly more focused at first but after the first week didn’t feel anything again
   
3. dexmethylphenidate( foculin) 20 er - felt actually amazing the first day and after that………. quite literally felt like I was going crazy. Felt an insane feeling of uneasiness, felt sick, headaches and due to it suppressing my hunger It worsened my condition. Funny enough tried to do it again but fully prepared by planing out my meal to see how it would effect me but the side effects persisted
   
4. Methylphenidate ( concerta) er 32- was weird. Felt like a zombie, got a small headache and could somewhat focus but I felt almost no boost in productivity.
   
5. Back to dex foculin 15 er - not that bad however still have a sense of unease if I don’t eat and drink enough water through out the day but the worse side effect is diarrhea
   

Honestly at this point I’m debating what’s the point of even getting meds if they just make me feel worse. Some advice or recommendations for other meds is very much needed

so I (19F) had a guy best friend (18M) for a year and a couple of months. we met online through a mutual friend and i happened to know his older sister. we got so close in a sgort amount of time and he helped me a lot when my best friends of 6 years left me for their new friend group. i even trusted him enough to tell him that im bisexual which made him come out to me as gay (we live in a very religious country so it's so risky to cime out). i became friends with his older and younger sister. his friends knew me and his cousins as well. some people mistook us for being a couple but we only saw each other as siblings. he's a people pleaser and he's always in the middle no matter what around this time last year he became friends with a girl and i thought she's cool so he introduced me to her. we talked every now and then and she was just so funny and cool and i thought that im finally making a close irl girl friend. after a while she started leaving me on seen or delivered while posting stories, she even ignored my attempts to make her notice me by liking her story or participating in the 'ask me' box. i tild my guy bsf about this to know if she's upset with me and he said it's nothing she's just like that with everyone else. i ignored it but then my guy bsf disappeared due to family issues and she only reached out to ask about him and why he's not responding to her. she literally ignored the texts i sent previously abd didn't even apologize for leaving me on seen FOR A MONTH. before he disappeared he told me he would disappear and told not to tell anyone anything and just say i don't know. so i told her i didn't know what happened to him and tried to make a small talk but she left me on delivered. i told my guy bsf about this and i was so upset because i didn't understand why would she do that. he said he didn't understand why would she do that so i told him that im not blocking her just because she's his friend. 2 months ago she deleted her acc and made a new one with him, his sisters and our mutual friends added there. she told everyone about the account except for me and i got so upset about this and told my guy bsf about this and demanded some answers. he said it's nothing personal against me and tried to defend her and we had a long argument, i tried to male him understand my point of view but he just couldn't see where the disrespect is so i told him that i had enough and i won't be replying to any of his messages until after our exams. well a week later i made my decision to cut him off so i did. i sent him a long paragraph of how hurt i was that he's not taking my side and he's ditching me over someone he doesn't even trust enough to tell that he's gay (he didn't come out to her) and that he's doing exactly what my ex besties did to me i didn't feel bad aftee blocking him, it's been a month but it's starting to get to my head that probably i overrated? i don't think i did but i don't know

Finishing up my M1 year. I am a non-traditional who took 6 years of work/2nd bachelors/masters to turn around 95 credits with a 2.1 gpa from my initial run at college (I was in higher education for 10 years prior to starting med school). I got rejected once before eventually getting admitted to one MD school (fortunately my first choice).
As I look at premed from the other side, I see the flood of people in positions that did not reward their goals or unwavering efforts. I remember checking every thread to see if I actually had a chance of getting accepted and what I should be doing with every waking minute of my time. I remember feeling so discouraged by the rejections. Feeling like my life would finally start once I was accepted into med school. What I wish I would have realized, and what I tell all of my current mentees is that your life is happening right now. It doesn’t ever start or stop with or without an acceptance/M1 academic calendar. No matter what happens, all you have is the present. I wish I would have focused on living in the present and l rather than only worrying about the future so much. If you are passionate and committed, nothing will stop you from achieving your dreams and getting that acceptance when the time is right.
Good luck to all those who are waiting to hear back, and all of those who are gearing up to reapply. Never give up. You are destined for greatness.

Needed to dump. And feel like I have no one right now so I'll dump here.
Currently crying and hyperventilating. Depression and anxiety strong. Here is a list of my thoughts

• my clothes don't fit me
• I'm ugly
• I'm broke
• I'm a piece of shit
• work from home day today and I slept 3 hours out of 8 and ignored a client's phone calls
• barely worked
• I have no friends.
• I only have one friend and she's not even really my friend.
• I'm alone forever
• no one understands me.
• I can't live like this anymore.
• im a piece of shit for not working hard today
• going outside is stupid, staying inside is stupid.
• I'm stuck.
• life sucks
• I hate this world
• life is too hard
• I'm a piece of shit for not working hard today.
• no one understands me
• I push all friends or loved ones away
• I'm alone.
• no one understands me
• I hate work
• I hate jobs
• I hate money
• I am sooooo lonely
• no one will be in my life again
• I'm not ok
• I don't know what to do with my life.
• I'm a failure
• I only have one friend and she's not even interested in communicating with me.
• I can't rely on anyone for help.
• I'm in a bind emotionally and I have no one to lean on. I'm alone
• home is lonely
• outdoors is lonely
• I have no one to turn to in moments like this.
• I'm stuck

I think I just feel like trash for sleeping during work hours. And the guilt spiraled me. In this moment I honestly don't feel like I belong in this world, and I'm fucking exhausted trying to play the game of life every day.
I honestly want a lobotomy so I think less. I can't take this much longer.
I also am incredibly lonely. One shitty work from home day sends me over the edge and I can't ask anyone for help in these moments because I honestly have no one.
I will not talk to my parents about this because they worry way too much and don't offer any solutions that meet me where I'm at. Basically they don't get it and their solutions are shit.
I was married to someone I knew for like 15 years but that ended like 6 years ago, so that entire friend/family group ended with it. Not like I was able to share anything like this with any of them. Except my wife. But even at that time in my life, she was kinda the only one. And I also felt like a burden to her.
I then was in a 2 year relationship which I ended. So I had that person to rely on. But I ended that relationship a year ago.
Friendships are basically nonexistent because I have a really hard time making friends since I never feel stable enough to offer good company.
Im in my car right now alone, picked up some food which I can't afford to hopefully get a moment of comfort. I asked for it to go because I can't be in a restaurant around others who have friends and family to eat with. So im going to pull over and eat alone in the side of the road.
Anyway my life feels fucked right now and I have no way to fix it. Other than correcting all my wrongs and chastising myself, by trying to do some work when I go back home to try and right my wrongs from earlier when I slept.
Fuck this world! Fuck life! Fuck my brain!

I know a variations of these questions have been asked before. I’ve read through a few other threads but I’m not really understanding some of the answers because I think I need to frame the questions in my words.

• so to my understanding, Sandy + Stewie (I’ll refer to as SS) are aiming for a hostile takeover
• in ep 4, based on a comment made by Ken earlier, where he says “I’m (Ken) better than my dad (Logan), but Logan’s better than Sandy and Stewie”. So it sounds like there’s only two sides to this, which is Roys vs SS.
• At the end of ep 4, we’re told that Josh is not on the Roy’s side and we see Josh meeting with Stewie, more or less implying he’s sided with SS.

So questions - in ep 5, 1. Am I correct in saying that if they go to the shareholder vote, both SS and the Roys will lose out in that situation, hence why they chose to do a deal instead? 2. So then, what exactly are the shareholders voting for? 3. If they are voting for the Roy’s to be removed from ownership, then who gets power? It can’t be Sandy and Stewie because they didn’t want the vote to go through either, right? 4. What was the importance of Josh meeting Stewie, since the vote is not deciding between SS and the Roys?

So this guy and I have been texting for about 9 months (since mid August 2023). He DM’ed me on Instagram and got my phone number, we’ve been talking ever since. He lives in a different state. Let’s call him Jay.
During this time period, we’ve had 3 phone calls and text practically every day. The conversations never really get too deep. We’ll talk about random things but never about past relationships, childhood, etc. Therefore, I never really thought he was interested in me romantically, because other men I’ve spoken to often make it clear that they want to pursue me romantically.
Sometimes one of us (Jay and I) would stop texting for 1-2 days at a time, mostly on weekends, which is really just to take a breather from things. This is perfectly normal since it can be a lot to text everyday, all day without breaks. He has asked me to talk on the phone more often, but the evening hours are usually my “me time” where I smoke after work and just relax. He’s also asked to FaceTime, but I told him I’d prefer phone calls.
A few months ago, in January, I traveled to Jay’s state as my uncle also lives there and had been diagnosed with cancer. I didn’t tell Jay that I was in his city until I was already there, because in all honestly there was a lot going on with my uncles health, a lot for me to deal with and I wasn’t exactly in the right headspace. I came there just to visit my uncle. Jay understood this, but I think he was still a bit disappointed we didn’t get a chance to meet. We continued texting since January, but replies were sometimes delayed on both sides (not just on weekends).
Around the end of March, I was again going through a difficult time with family health issues and a new diagnosis of cancer regarding my dog. I stopped texting Jay, and he texted me a week later asking what was going on. I told him that it didn’t seem like he wanted to talk to me, since he was often taking a day or so to reply back. At this point he told me that if he didn’t “want to be my friend or whatever the case may be”, that he would let me know and not ghost me or anything like that. We continued texting. The key here is that he used the word “friend”, which further confirms on my end that he’s always viewed things platonically between us.
About 2 weeks ago, I casually asked Jay about his views on another man blocking/unblocking me and then reaching out to me. He gave some input on this, and then told me he doesn’t want to talk to me about other men, and that I should ask my girlfriends. A few days ago, I asked Jay if I should reach out to a man (the same one that blocked/unblocked me).
At this point, Jay told me he was going to “leave me alone” because he didn’t want to look dumb by communicating to me about this. I tried to talk to him about why he was saying this. I told him that he had friendzoned me, so it didn’t make sense why he was upset or acting this way about me bringing up another man. The conversation then turned into him asking me why I think he friendzoned me. He says that he never friendzoned me, and brought up the fact that I came to his state but didn’t see him or let him know beforehand that I was coming. He also mentioned how I’ve rejected phone calls from him or made up excuses about not wanting or being able to talk on the phone rather than texting. I told him that our conversations and the things we talk about, is what made me believe that it wasn’t anything romantic. Even during the phone conversations that we’ve had, we didn’t talk about deep things, only random superficial topics.
Basically he was telling me that he never friendzoned me and wanted to know how long I’ve been dealing with this other man. Jay hasn’t texted me back ever since last Saturday, and we had this little disagreement last Friday. I sent him a text yesterday (Tuesday) asking if we were alright, and he said yes, but he also hasn’t responded since yesterday morning. Did I misread this whole situation on whether he’s into me or not?
TL;DR this man (24 M) and I (26 F) have been texting for 9 months with few phone calls. We live in different states, and through our conversations it seemed platonic. However, he’s now ignoring me after I brought up another man 2 different times in a time span of 2 weeks. Did I misjudge his true feelings and intentions with me?