Hand Size: 7x4 inches or 17.8x10 centimeters.
Grip Style: Mix between Pincer claw and fingertip grip (Situational grip style)
Mousepad: Skypad 3.0 XL White
Mouse Skates: x4 TJ Exclusive “PlastiX Skates” on 4 corners of the G303 SE skate area (These skates are game changing and deserver their own post)
Let me just start off by saying I have mained the original G303 for over 7 years playing Counter-Strike in my youth. When I began attempting to switch to other mice I didn’t realize how much of a struggle and challenge it would introduce in my gaming time. This is what began my mousereview journey in investigating, testing, and continuous use of different shapes…spilling money, regretting purchases and finding inspiration and newfound reasoning why the G303 and G303 SE shape are so special.
The G303 and G303 SE are so unique that there is literally no alternative. Even if you fingertip grip the G303 there are considered alternatives but none of them feel similar in the slightest. Some users with bigger hands from what I understand have switched to the Endgame Gear XM1 and some users with smaller hands have found themselves stuck with the original G303 because they couldn’t get a comfortable grip on the new G303 SE in practice.
Let’s get one fact out of the way; Fact: The G303 and G303 SE are not comfortable shapes BUT that’s to the users benefit. I’ve found this uncomfortable diamond shape to be super beneficial for aiming scenarios. There are freedom of movement downsides but the positives outweigh the negatives in my use of this shape.
After long term use of forcing myself to use the G303 SE, I’m thankful for the slightly enlarged shape that Shroud inspired Logitech to produce. Once you’re eventually somewhat comfortable with this shape you begin to realize this is the best claw grip mouse you can perform a somewhat natural baseball grip on while still feeling there is an arrow in your hand pointing you toward your opponents.
If you own a G303 SE and find yourself disappointed with the shape in comparison to your beloved OG G303, I want to inspire you to try to main the G303 SE for two months. See if the shape really is a downgrade and let others know your thoughts. Sometimes it just takes using a mouse for a while to eventually click with the shape. Our minds learn to adapt to new shapes and given the G303 SE is the closest thing to the original G303 I think we can all learn to adapt and aim just as well if not better with a slightly increased mass of the G303 SE. If you’re still not sold on the G303 SE then continue to keep your eye out for the upcoming ARYE FCC-1.
In the past 2 weeks I decided to do a 150mah battery swap on my G303 SE. The improved weight has been significant enough in use that I recommend others to perform the mod if you’re comfortable, but don’t expect the mod to be massively game changing. The battery lasts around a week in heavy use now which is more than fine. I was using a HSK Pro 4k @ 4k hz polling rate and the battery was only lasting a day and a half or two so I understand bad battery life and doing this battery swap isn't giving me any problems. The G303 SE charges so fast I can basically go cook an egg on a pan or take a restroom break and it would be near if not already 100% to last another week anyway. It’s nice having a battery that lasts over a month+ but it’s super unnecessary in practice especially sense it sacrifices weight and can hinder your aim performance if ever so slightly.
I want to add that I received the TJ Exclusive PlastiX Skates a couple of days ago and in combination with my Skypad 3.0 they are actually the best skates I've ever used and possibly the best on every glass or ceramic surfaces currently. PTFE still feels slightly better on softer cloth surfaces to me, and I have a hunch that the PlastiX wouldn’t be fantastic for a plastic mousepad surface. They do however preform amazingly on harder surfaces so if you use for example a MID Artisan mousepad, they could be fantastic in those use cases.
The G303 SE sides angle inward a bit more aggressively than the OG G303. This one change essentially forces a claw grip in most scenarios which is either a good or bad thing for stability and movement situations. This change has been the most significant to me in comparison to rear hump change.. It's made the G303 SE more aggressive in practice and depending on how you look at it can be a positive or a negative change for your grip.
I'm going to continue using the G303 SE for the foreseeable future. Till something releases that competes and is of higher quality for an affordable price. The soon to be releasing ARYA FCC-1 is a bit pricey for me @ $220... It's a (maybe) mouse depending on how bad I want to try it and if it's in stock for me to try in the future.
I'm going to continue using the OG G303 at work as a reminder of what the G303 SE could have been.. I think both shapes have there pros and cons and as I keep saying the G303 SE has more pros than cons over the original G303 that it's enough for me to keep using it as my main gaming mouse.
I can't wait for the G303 inspired shape uprising! It's going to happen and it's only a matter of time!
Thanks for reading!

Hi, does anyone else struggle sometimes to remember things clients tell you/talk about in session? For me, the hardest things to remember are names and the connections between relationships. For example, if a client tells me their partner's name or their best friend's name, I am likely to remember it. But if a client tells me their great aunt's name and explains how they are related, I might forget it. I've never been good with names or family relationships (I don't even know how exactly I am related to some people in my own family lol). I feel bad sometimes when I have to clarify with a client who they.are talking about because I forgot the name or got it mixed up with someone else. I have a few clients who have very similar backgrounds and situations and are similar ages, etc, so I have to try hard to get everyone's information straight.
When I first started as a therapist, after sessions I used to frantically write a brain dump process note of everything we had talked about so I would remember everything for the next session. Now, I've gotten better at 1) remembering and 2) being able to get the client to reflect and mention things from the previous session without it seeming like I forgot, even if I did forget small details. Now I don't do that, but I will jot down a few notes for me if I feel like I might forget something.
I see between 20-25 clients a week and have about 35 on my caseload (some come every other week or as needed).
Is this a skill I need to develop more? I'm young so I should have good memory lol.

We’re living in uncertain times. Our society is mired with issues. There’s inflation, and unaffordable housing. There’s the disappearance of good, well-paying jobs. There’s systemic inequality, inefficiency, and indifference.
So it’s normal that there’s been an uptick in people lamenting the futility of daily living—not just in the usual places like antiwork, adulting, and depression, but also here. It’s normal if you too are feeling a background refrigerator-hum of anxiety, mixed with a bleak ‘what’s the point of even trying?’ sentiment.
At its core, this is all rooted in a suffocating lack of freedom. We feel boxed in by societal expectations and norms. We feel condemned to a 40-year grind of a career—our options limited to either extremes of sedentary office work or back-breaking physical labor. We find ourselves in a meaningless rat race… which is bad enough as it is, but it’s also being worsened by societal issues, making it a struggle to even keep our heads above water as we witness others drown by the ruthlessness of it all.
It’s scary AF, so… we ‘act out’. We exert what little freedom we have. We do what we want when we want. Pitiful as it may be, our endless Redditing, YouTubing, and TikToking are acts of rebellion.
But that, of course, has a counterproductive effect. The system wants us to be good little consumers. It wants us to be distracted and docile—when we’re not frantically cramming in our work before a deadline. Procrastination is a feature of our system, not a bug.
So, how do we break out? How do we reclaim our freedom?
Restrictions.
It’s a giant paradox, but freedom is only achieved through restrictions.
My phone, for example, can run Waze, a banking app, and a few instant messaging apps. That’s about it. Because of the restrictions I set—which are impossible to remove or disable on a whim—I am precisely not free to do what I want, when I want. But by imposing such constraints, I have rendered myself free from all manipulations from Meta, TikTok, Google, Apple, and all the other tech/media companies that feed off my attention.
The same notion applies in a greater context.
By rigorously constraining my day—by blocking my email except during certain times, by using time management systems like timeboxing and the Pom-Loop method, by fixing strict do-not-disturb-me-unless-the-building’s-on-fire office hours—I am indeed imposing limitations on my freedom. But this has liberated me from the infinite whack-a-mole demands of “Shallow Work”: I am free from the impulse of checking my email 86 times a day. I am free from the need to know what’s happening with Trump at every waking moment. I am free to enter deeper, more productive, more meaningful, and more satisfying states of flow.
Ultimately, I have learned that being free is not “I want to do this and I want to do that, and—checks wrists for shackles—sweet, I can!”
Being free is “I control what I want. I control what I do. I control who I am.”
Put differently, freedom occurs when your desires and actions are aligned with your values.
You, as a well-adjusted human being, value being productive and contributing. You value focused work. You value being engaged and creative. You value stepping out of your comfort zone. You value giving much more than taking.
In short, you have a strong “work ethic,” which is simply the belief that work has value in and of itself.
The problem is that your subconscious desires have been hijacked. They are no longer oriented towards your values but towards the petty pursuit of instant gratification. Your doom-scrolling means you are made to see more ads. You seeing more ads means 'increasing shareholder value' for tech companies. And 'increasing shareholder value' means some dipshit in Palo Alto can buy a second Tesla and send their kids to private school.
In other words, your desires have been reoriented away from your values and towards the values of a few others. That’s why you are so repulsed at yourself and your behavior. That’s why you feel so utterly trapped.
Restrictions.
The way to freedom is through restrictions:

1. Cut out your damn vices. Get rid of them or else use IRON-CLAD (uninstallable, unalterable) website blockers and screen-time limits. Seriously, I’ve written an entire book predicated on the reality that our tech-vices—which provide shortcuts to survival-affirming rewards—are screwing us over royally. It's a poison-drip: we don’t notice what’s happening until it’s far too late.
2. Get a therapist. Now that you’ve cut yourself off from your vices—off the things you’ve been using and abusing to escape from reality—you’re bound for a torrent of repressed negative emotions and sensations. Expect days or even weeks of pain and discomfort. As I’ve written here before, you need to expect to feel worse before feeling better. Step 1 is not a mere “dopamine detox.” Don’t be that Keto dieter who jumps on a bandwagon trend without bothering to understand the intricacies of what they are doing, the impending consequences, and the required support system.
3. Wait. Just be. Seriously. All of us here on this sub are constantly being told to fix this and try that. We put so much pressure and expectation on ourselves it’s unreal. Good habits are good. Self-care is essential. Positive mindsets are key… but none of that should happen through force or coercion. Let yourself be. Let your desires gradually and naturally reorient themselves towards your values. Don't force it.
4. Plan—but don't expect. When you’re feeling motivated and primed to take sustained action, plan out your time as best you can. Set barriers and boundaries. Be clear about what you should do and when—but be careful not to set expectations. Expectations, when unmet with an equal measure of motivation (aka the capacity—not the will—to be productive), leads to stress and frustration, which leads to a need for relief through vices, which leads to an undoing of all your progress.

...
Just remember, by embracing restrictions, you can reclaim your freedom. You can realign your desires and actions with your deeper values, enabling you to live a more meaningful and fulfilled life. This journey requires commitment, understanding, support, and a willingness to endure the discomfort that comes with real change. But the reward—a life lived true to oneself—is immeasurably worth it.
All the best,
Simon ㋛

In today's interconnected world, the internet is integral to our daily lives. From communication and education to shopping and entertainment, we rely heavily on digital platforms. However, the convenience of the internet comes with significant risks. Cyber threats are more prevalent and sophisticated than ever before, making online safety a critical concern. This article explores why online safety is paramount and provides comprehensive tips to help you protect yourself and your data.

Why Online Safety is Important

1. Personal Information Protection
   • Identity Theft: Cybercriminals can steal personal information such as names, addresses, social security numbers, and credit card details. This information can be used to commit identity theft, leading to financial loss and legal complications. Identity theft can also cause long-term damage to your credit score, making it difficult to obtain loans, mortgages, or even employment.
   • Privacy Invasion: Sensitive personal details, if compromised, can lead to unwanted exposure and privacy violations. This can have severe emotional and psychological impacts. Privacy invasion can also lead to harassment or stalking, creating a threatening environment for victims.
2. Preventing Financial Loss
   • Phishing Scams: These scams trick individuals into revealing financial information by posing as legitimate entities. Falling victim to phishing can result in unauthorized transactions and drained bank accounts. Phishing scams can also compromise your email and social media accounts, leading to further exploitation.
   • Ransomware: Cybercriminals use ransomware to encrypt your data and demand a ransom for its release. Paying the ransom does not guarantee data recovery and often leads to further exploitation. Businesses can face significant operational disruptions and financial loss due to ransomware attacks, impacting their ability to serve customers and maintain trust.
3. Securing Sensitive Data
   • Business Information: For businesses, safeguarding sensitive data such as customer information, intellectual property, and strategic plans is crucial. A data breach can result in substantial financial losses, legal consequences, and reputational damage. Companies must comply with data protection regulations like GDPR and CCPA, which mandate strict data handling and reporting practices.
   • Compliance and Regulations: Many industries are subject to strict data protection regulations. Failure to comply can result in hefty fines and legal action. Ensuring compliance with regulations not only protects data but also enhances customer trust and loyalty.
4. Maintaining Online Reputation
   • Social Media Safety: Your online profiles are part of your digital identity. A compromised account can lead to reputational damage, both personally and professionally, as malicious actors can post harmful content or send fraudulent messages. Social media accounts are often targeted for their high visibility and potential to spread misinformation.
   • Professional Integrity: For professionals, maintaining a clean online presence is crucial for career growth. Employers and colleagues often review social media profiles to gauge character and professionalism. An online reputation tarnished by cyber incidents can hinder career advancements and job opportunities.
5. Avoiding Malware and Viruses
   • System Integrity: Malicious software can corrupt files, steal information, and degrade system performance. Ensuring your devices are protected helps maintain their integrity and functionality. Malware can also create backdoors for attackers to continuously exploit your system, leading to recurring security issues.
   • Data Security: Malware can give attackers access to sensitive data stored on your devices, leading to data breaches and information theft. This can include personal photos, documents, and confidential business information, all of which can be exploited for financial gain or blackmail.
6. Safe Communication
   • Encryption: Secure online communication is vital to protect private conversations and sensitive information from being intercepted by malicious actors. Encrypted communication ensures that only the intended recipient can access the message content. Encryption tools like Signal and WhatsApp provide end-to-end encryption for messaging, ensuring privacy.
   • Awareness: Being aware of potential communication threats, such as spoofed emails and fake profiles, can prevent you from falling prey to social engineering attacks. Educating yourself and others on recognizing these threats is essential for maintaining secure communication channels.

Comprehensive Tips for Staying Safe Online

1. Use Strong, Unique Passwords
   • Password Complexity: Create complex passwords that include a mix of uppercase and lowercase letters, numbers, and symbols. Avoid using easily guessable information such as birthdays or common words. Strong passwords reduce the likelihood of brute-force attacks.
   • Password Management: Use a password manager to generate and store unique passwords for each of your accounts. This ensures that you do not reuse passwords, which can be a significant security risk. Password managers also help you keep track of your login credentials securely.
2. Enable Two-Factor Authentication (2FA)
   • Extra Layer of Security: Two-factor authentication (2FA) adds an additional layer of security by requiring a second form of verification, such as a text message code or authentication app, in addition to your password. 2FA significantly enhances account security, even if your password is compromised.
   • Account Protection: Enabling 2FA on your accounts can significantly reduce the risk of unauthorized access. Popular services like Google, Facebook, and banking apps offer 2FA options, which should be enabled for all sensitive accounts.
3. Be Cautious with Emails and Links
   • Email Verification: Be wary of emails from unknown senders and avoid clicking on suspicious links or downloading attachments from untrusted sources. Verify the sender's email address and look for signs of phishing, such as misspellings or urgent requests for personal information. Phishing emails often create a sense of urgency to trick recipients into taking immediate action.
   • URL Inspection: Hover over links to see the actual URL before clicking. Ensure that the URL is legitimate and not a cleverly disguised phishing site. Secure websites typically use HTTPS, indicating a secure connection.
4. Keep Software Updated
   • Regular Updates: Regularly update your operating system, browsers, and software applications. Updates often include security patches that protect against newly discovered vulnerabilities. Outdated software is a common target for cyberattacks due to unpatched security flaws.
   • Automatic Updates: Enable automatic updates where possible to ensure that you receive the latest security patches without delay. This is especially important for antivirus software and operating systems, which frequently release critical security updates.
5. Use Antivirus and Anti-Malware Programs
   • Protection Tools: Install and maintain reliable antivirus and anti-malware software to detect and remove harmful threats from your devices. Regularly scan your system to ensure it is free from malware. These tools provide real-time protection against a wide range of threats.
   • Real-Time Protection: Use real-time protection features to continuously monitor your system for suspicious activity. Real-time protection helps prevent malware from executing and spreading on your device.
6. Secure Your Home Network
   • Wi-Fi Security: Protect your Wi-Fi network with a strong password and use WPA3 encryption for added security. Avoid using default passwords and SSIDs that can be easily guessed. A secure Wi-Fi network prevents unauthorized access and protects data transmitted over the network.
   • VPN Use: Consider using a virtual private network (VPN) to encrypt your internet connection, especially when using public Wi-Fi. A VPN masks your IP address and secures your online activities from prying eyes. VPNs are particularly useful for protecting sensitive information while traveling or accessing unsecured networks.
7. Monitor Your Accounts
   • Account Activity: Regularly check your bank statements, credit reports, and online accounts for any unusual activity. Early detection of unauthorized activity can prevent further damage. Set up account alerts to receive notifications of suspicious transactions or login attempts.
   • Alert Systems: Set up account alerts to notify you of suspicious transactions or login attempts. Many financial institutions and online services offer customizable alert options to keep you informed of account activity.
8. Educate Yourself and Others
   • Stay Informed: Stay informed about the latest online threats and security practices. Follow reputable sources for cybersecurity news and updates. Cybersecurity is an evolving field, and staying current with trends and threats is crucial for maintaining safety.
   • Community Awareness: Share your knowledge with family, friends, and colleagues to promote a safer online environment for everyone. Encourage them to adopt good security habits and practices. Hosting workshops or informational sessions can be an effective way to spread awareness.
9. Backup Your Data
   • Regular Backups: Regularly back up your important data to an external hard drive or cloud storage service. This ensures that you can recover your information in case of a cyberattack or system failure. Regular backups protect against data loss from ransomware attacks or hardware failures.
   • Backup Encryption: Encrypt your backups to protect them from unauthorized access. Encrypted backups ensure that even if backup media is lost or stolen, the data remains secure.
10. Be Skeptical of Free Offers

• Suspicious Offers: Be wary of free offers, contests, and downloads that seem too good to be true. Cybercriminals often use these tactics to distribute malware or collect personal information. Free software or services may contain adware or spyware that compromises your security.
• Trusted Sources: Only download software and applications from reputable sources and official websites. Avoid third-party download sites that may bundle legitimate software with malicious programs.

Conclusion

In an increasingly digital world, online safety is more important than ever. Protecting personal and sensitive information from cyber threats requires vigilance and proactive measures. By following the comprehensive tips provided, you can enhance your online security and enjoy the benefits of the internet with greater peace of mind. Stay safe, stay informed, and make online safety a priority.
Being safe online is not just a personal responsibility but a collective one. By practicing good cybersecurity habits, you contribute to a safer digital environment for everyone. Remember, the cost of negligence can be high, but with the right precautions, you can

I was the victim of a smash & grab last night. Between golf clubs, cash, misc. probably $1,000 of valuables. I’m wondering how I can make a claim.
I’m between apartments right now, so I don’t have renters insurance or a current address. I was staying at a friends for the past four months (moving into a new unit with renters insurance starting June 1st).
My friend I’ve been staying with does have renters insurance if that’s relevant.
I also own a property nearby that I rent out that I do have homeowners insurance on. If I can use that.
Thank you in advance.

Hello,
The tomatoes are in full force for me here in Houston. I am growing 27 varieties this year, a mix of hybrids and heirlooms, mostly new to me. I wanted to share some preliminary thoughts. I didn't start them all at the same time so I haven't gotten to taste them all yet.
I am pruning my larger slicing tomatoes to a single leader.
So far I have tried, Margold - grown before, Pink Berkeley Tie Dye - Grown Before, Black Krim - Grown Before, Supersweet 100 - grown before, Cherry Brandywine - grown before, and I think the rest are new to me. Riesentraube, Burmese Sour, Purple Boy, Margaret Curtain, Brown Sugar, Prudens Purple, Pink Boar, Sunset Torch, Red Torch, Blue Cream Berry, Edox, Black Cherry
For the ones I have grown before Margold is producing very well. These plants make all sizes of tomato, some softball size and some more like a tennis ball, they are yellow with a beautiful red blush and are juicy while also being dense and meaty, low acid, floral/fruity, and absolutely delicious. I will always grow this tomato.
Pink Berkeley Tie dye is another favorite, to me it has the flavor of a brown/purple tomato while also having the acid I like in a tomato so it is a nice mix. My two plants have also been very prolific and one also died suddenly! Ha. This is my first year experimenting with growing some tomatoes directly in the ground and I guess it is more perilous! The rest of my tomatoes are in raised beds.
Black Krim - obviously great, we know it and love it, my plant got bacterial stem rot and is somehow still growing and producing/setting fruit. I know I should remove the plant but I haven't.
So now for Margaret Curtain, Carbon, and Purple Boy. To me these and Black Krim all taste more or less the same. I've only had one or two from each plant but don't notice any big difference and think growing one of these would probably be fine.
The Margaret curtain has set the most fruit and a lot of very big tomatoes, but like the margold, some are softball size, some tennis ball size, but I am very impressed with the level of production.
Carbon, poor production, good fruit set on first cluster and then pretty much done.
Purple Boy, absymal. This is a Hybrid and I am shocked by its poor performance. Even as a seedling it was a thin, wimpy, wispy and slow growing pathetic specimen that I wasn't sure would live. Not comparable at all to other hybrids. When the plant was about 3 1/2 feet tall I did accidentally break off the central leader and that slowed the growth but even at that point it had only set one fruit. It has since rebounded in growth with several flower clusters but it has yet to set another fruit. The tomato tasted good and like the other dark ones mentioned but absolutely piss poor vigor and fruit set.
Brown Sugar - nice fruit set and clusters of medium size tomatoes, they are mostly between the size of a clementine and a tennis ball. I have only tasted one, and maybe I didn't let it ripen enough but it was nothing special, not particularly sweet or flavorful.
Burmese Sour - I chose to grow these, perhaps incorrectly, thinking that my hot and humid climate would be similar to that of Burma. But who knows. This plant was the first to look diseased with black spots on the foliage, it is not particularly vigorous and stopped growing taller around the 3 1/2 foot mark. But! It has set a lot of fruit so it is kind of winning me over. Apparently these tomatoes are meant to be used in curries where you wouldn't want a sweet tomato. I tasted one raw and I liked it. It was very bright and refreshing, like a nice tomato taste with the acidity turned up. These are also very pretty with that classic heirloom shape like costoluto genovese.
Pink Boar - maybe I am missing something here but its just like a smaller version of pink berkeley tie dye. Probably won't grow again.
Prudens Purple - This is the standout new tomato so far. Good production/fruit set of very large fruits. I had a miserable experience with Pink Brandywine last year and I think this is probably the answer to that. When I first tasted it I was just like, this is what I want a tomato to taste like. This is the tomato you want to put on a burger. Meaty, juicy, not much gel, good acid and I guess this is what people mean when they say "old fashioned" tomato flavor. I will grow this again and probably every year unless something tops it.
Now for the cherries
Riesentraube - extremely slow/late to produce and not prolific at all. I've so far harvested two tomatoes and they taste pretty good but not worth the pathetic performance unless it really gets going later in the season.
Blue Cream Berry - Not for me at all. No acid, just sweet, no tomato flavor. These reminded me of the green doctors tomatoes I grew last year and did not like either. I am learning that I really need acid in a tomato and dont like them to be so sweet. I'm not growing sungolds this year for that reason (too sweet, they do have some acid). Last year my savory dishes were borderline too sweet/more desert like because of the sweetness of the sungolds and the green doctors. Blue cream berry is in that same category like sweet and bland and not tomatoey. Also a slow grower, slow producer, generally unhealthy seeming plant, it must know that i don't like it!.
Sunset Torch/Red Torch - these are hybrids, first time growing. These are quite large for a small cluster tomato, they are kind of like romas but half the size. They are very pretty and the sunset torch taste really good. They have kind of a mild flavor but it is a tomato flavor and they remind me of the margold kind of, like floral and fruity. I guess that is the yellow tomato taste. The red torch I think I haven't had one ripe enough yet but their taste hasn't wowed me yet. Both of these plants are have great vigor, they are like 3X the size of my riesentraube and blue cream berry. They have great fruit set and will grow again just because of how prolific they are.
Edox - hybrid. Good fruit set, vigor and production. Blah taste. These are red cherries and they have to be really really really dark red and ripe to have much flavor at all and when they do its like the expensive cherries on the vine in the grocery store. Probably won't grow again, just meh.
Black cherry - slow going and not much fruit set but it seems to be getting a little better now, the fruits I had were really good and tasted like carbon/black krim/margaret curtain etc. Will grow again, maybe two plants if the production doesn't improve.
Supersweet 100 - grown before, this is probably the gold standard to me of a red cherry. Prolific, productive, good tomato flavor, sweet and acidic. Not much else to say. To me it isn't knock your socks off out of this world good but it is definitely worth growing.
Cherry Brandywine - Determinate. These are probably the best tasting cherries I have grown, Similar flavor to the prudens purple. They are prolific and I love that they are determinate and you can harvest a lot all at once. Short plants with great tasting tomatoes and they are early to produce. Last year I grew one and wish I grew more, growing two this year and maybe 3 next year!
I still have a bunch of tomatoes that I haven't gotten to try yet, mostly hybrids. Grand Marshall, Skyway, Brandy Boy, Big Beef, Granadero, can't think of them all. So far the vigor and fruit set are great but we will have to see about the taste!!
Time will tell. If anyone read all this... wow! Happy gardening :)

TL;DR - Can you get a 100% ltv DSCR loan for a property that doesn't appraise as high as the loan amount, if the expected rental income still covers the mortgage?
I'm working with a client who has an older property, 3bd 2ba townhouse. The property currently is worth about $825k, they owe roughly $350k on the current mortgage. They want to take about $300k of equity out of the property. All of the properties around the clients townhouse have been converted into multi-unit properties and they want to do the same with their property. I've looked at different configurations of all studios, all 1bd1ba units and a mix of 2bd1ba and 1bd1ba units for the new construction. I've gotten quotes that the work is going to be roughly $1.3m-$1.5m. The client is planning on using loans to complete the project. The construction loan should be no problem but I'm concerned about rolling into a long term loan if they take equity out of the property. The loan amount they would be looking for would be the construction $1.4m plus the $700k mortgage bring the loan total to $2.1m. I worry about the property post rehab not appraising for $2.1m. I see similar projects in the neighborhood coming up for ~$1.7m. I've thought about going the DSCR route but I'm not sure about 100% DSCR loans and to be positive cashflow it's really going to depend on the configuration of the units.
I know best case scenario is the client leaves the equity alone but they are really set on taking out the equity. So my question is with the client taking out the equity and the property not necessarily appraising for the total cost of rehab, can we still look into DSCR loans? Or is there some other financing we can look into?

I recently ran into a few (now former) friends of my exwBPD. My ex now has no real friends that I’m aware of, only an acquaintance or two probably mixed in with random guys, lots of random guys is my guess
They saw me and came over to say hi. They did not know that I had ended things because my ex apparently kept telling them that we were still talking or dating…
I let them know I ended things months ago and let one of them know that’s why I wasn’t at her wedding this year. I ended things maybe 2-4 weeks prior to the wedding
We talked a bit about her wedding and she got fired up telling me a story about my ex. So my ex went to her wedding, got hammered, fell down several times, went around asking if anyone had cocaine, and ended up fighting with the brides family because they got her car keys from valet so she wouldn’t drive home. Several other things went down but this lets you know how much of a mess she is/was
Interested thing is I spoke with my ex a week or two after the wedding and she told me that she hadn’t spoke with her friends since the wedding and it was because of someone else that didn’t like her caused drama and my ex took the blame she said “It’snot my fault” - —— You have all heard this shit, it’s never their fault….right 🤣
She then let me know that my ex reached out to her late last year and threatened her if she didn’t back her on a lie she told me. Said if she didn’t tell me, word for word, that she wouldn’t be friends with her anymore.
She said she wanted to tell me the truth but she was afraid of my ex due to the crazy she had been seeing and was holding up the friend code
The funny thing was that the lie covered something that I wouldn’t have cared about had she told me the truth. There were several stupid little lies I caught her in that wouldn’t have been an issue had she just been honest and upfront
She verified everything I was feeling and thought. She called out that she was a chronic liar, constantly seeking attention (especially from men) she had to be the center of attention and spent more time at the bachelorette party taking selfies than she did hanging out with all the girls
She told me she would always end up drunk when they went out and cocaine use was heavy. I didn’t know about the cocaine but knew she had a difficult time stopping drinking once she started
I wanted to share this because I know we often feel alone because they only attack the people/person they are closest with.
My ex is quiet BPD, educated, great job, and people around her that don’t know her well thinks she’s great.
On paper, she would look like the perfect woman. Educated, intelligent, fun, absolutely beautiful!! I felt like the luckiest guy in the word until I realized I actually was the most unluckiest guy in the world
So being fortunate enough to run into two other people that saw who she was from the friendship side and who knew she wasn’t the Instagram perfect person she tries to put out to the world just verified that 1. It wasn’t me 2. She is crazy, I’m not 3. She will never change 4. She will not find a better life without me/with someone else 5. Had I stuck around shit would have 100% gotten worse 6. My gut was right! I could have gotten out much earlier I was weak she got me with her love/sex bombing and beauty 7. I am the luckiest guy alive because I’m no longer with her, doing better by the day, and was fortunate enough to be able to run into those two people to get the verification/validation that most do not get when they date someone with BPD
And #7 is the main reason why I wanted to write this post. I don’t think many of us get closure or verification that’s it’s not me, not my fault, nothing I could have done.
I hope my experience will help set your minds at ease. Not being with someone with BPD is the best thing you can hope for. You all deserve better and your gut is right, trust it, heal, find a person that will treat you with love, honesty and respect

The Internet is blowing up about a commencement speech given by a deeply, religious, traditional Catholic football kicker, Harrison Butker of the Kansas City Chiefs. If you haven't heard the speech (given to a class of graduates from a Catholic College), he asserts that women's joys don't come from academic achievements but from having children and taking care of their husbands and home. He goes on to lament the culture of the LGBTQ+ community and the acceptance thereof etc.. I'm sure you get the drift.
Setting aside the obvious misogyny, and homophobic world view, no matter how you slice it or dice it, in my opinion, his speech is not a religious speech, but rather a political speech. A speech designed to promote, and enrich the living conditions of one demographic over another. And here are my thoughts (sorry for the length! I've been pondering this for a while LOL):
I'll only address the two most commonly known traditions in the U.S. below, I'm not suggesting other religions do not have a political bent as well. But if I were to add those, that would be a much longer post (more like a dissertation LOL), and I don't want the mods, or readers to get entirely fed up with me LOL!
As it relates to his (Butker's) particular tradition (Catholicism), it makes sense his world view would be more from a political standpoint rather than a religious one. From the beginning, the Catholic church was a construct created by the Roman Empire. The Roman Empire was certainly not interested in feeding the poor, or turning the other cheek, or promoting peace. The Roman Empire was about conquest, subjugation and enriching the already wealthy even more. It was also about promoting the interests of powerful men, men who viewed anyone other than a Roman male citizen as chattel or a lesser human being. Even wealthy Roman women were understood as property of their husbands. In fact, there is NO evidence the Roman Empire EVER adopted the teachings of Jesus , but rather leveraged the manpower Christians brought to the table to further Rome's worldly interests. Sounds a lot like the political world view shared in that speech Butker gave!
The Protestant traditions were not much different. While they started with the intention of "fixing" the corruption coming from the Vatican (wealth accumulation, power influence etc..), the Protestant reformation quickly fell into politics as well, particularly when Henry the VIII broke away from the Catholic Church and formed the Church of England, declaring himself the head of the church and then granting himself a divorce.
From that point on, I think most of us are familiar with the centuries long wars and power struggles between Catholic and Protestant kingdoms in Europe.
From that arose the aspirations of the American Founding Fathers: a separation of church and state. But did we ever achieve that? Is it even possible?
For a collective people to be successful, you need a societal framework that includes a shared world view and values. In the U.S. secular values were to provide that shared world view (if we are to accept the separation of church and state).
But religion and in particular those who like the power of being leaders in religious organizations seem to be successful in leveraging the most basic human instincts and fears and shape those around a religious framework that appears to always involve benefiting on demographic over another.
So my question is - can we ever truly achieve a separation of church and state? Can the craving for power and influence ever be tamed such that people serve in government as an act of service to make a better world, or are we forever doomed to live in world where people use any means possible to accumulate power, wealth and influence (to include religion)?

Updated with autopsy results.
Morphew Case Map - Google My Maps - Barry's iPhone Data - Google My Maps - Barry's Truck Events - Google My Maps
August 5, 1994 – Suzanne Moorman marries Barry Morphew The Alexandria Times-Tribune Alexandria, Indiana 05 Jan 1994, Wed • Page 4
December 1999 – Barry and Suzanne Purchase 26040 Cal Carson Rd, Arcadia, IN This is the house where he dug a hole in the yard and buried everything he didn't want to move to Colorado. (AA ft 55 page 53)
November 2013 – Suzanne Inherits $208,000 upon the Passing of her Mother. MB provided documents that Suzanne inherited approximately $208,000 in 2013 at the passing of her mother.
August 2016 – Suzanne inherits $217,000 upon the death of a grandmother. Suzanne’s grievance list included multiple references to Barry controlling the finances.
April 12, 2018 – The Morphew’s Purchase 19057 Puma Path Barry and Suzanne Morphew purchase 19057 Puma Path for $1,575,000.
June 1, 2018 – The Morphews move to Colorado. (PH – Harris) SA Harris: Yeah, they moved in 2018. I believe they left around June 1st, 2018. to move to Colorado. So roughly a year and a half of the time is what Sheila originally said in that.
September 2018 – Suzanne sends “Howdy stranger” message to JL First contact since high school.
Fall 2018 – Libler’s daughter sees messages from Suzanne on his phone. Libler breaks it off.
Thanksgiving 2018 – Barry obsessive/possessive. While Suzanne was at the Oliver’s house, she had stepped away from her cell phone to use the restroom, and Barry tried calling her several times within a few minutes, then tried calling Sheila, then tried calling Darin.
Holidays 2018 – Suzanne finds Libler’s LinkedIn Page. Relationship Rekindled
January 2019 – The Mexico trip where Barry took Suzanne’s phone Mexico trip mentioned in the grievances list where Barry took Suzanne's phone.
February 11 – 14, 2019 – Suzanne in New Orleans with Libler Barry admitted to questioning Suzanne about the New Orleans trip, further evidence he suspected the affair.
April 2019 – Suzanne meets up with Libler in Indiana She does not see SO on this trip.
July 2019 – Suzanne and Libler meet up in Michigan Barry called SO while Suzanne was in MI visiting her fatheJL, wanting to know why Suzanne wasn't returning his calls.
September 2019 – Barry stalks Suzanne and Shelia Oliver, creeping through woods. Barry stalked Suzanne and Sheila at the Puma Path house in September 2019. This is upon his early return from a trip to Arizona.
October 2019 – Libler and Suzanne in Dallas Suzanne and Libler spend two nights at the Galleria.
September – November 2019 – Barry aggressively pursues KW around Salida. From the first time KW met Barry, she said it felt like "he was putting his tentacles out."
Holidays 2019 – Suzanne and Libler stop talking on the phone because she is afraid Barry will find out. They shift to more covert ways to communicate. Barry's second device makes its first appearance.
January/February 2020 – Suzanne in Florida, gets spy pen, sees Libler Suzanne in Florida, SO gives her the spy pen during this trip. Suzanne records a conversation with Libler on this trip.
Late February 2020 – Suzanne in Florida, sees father and Libler. Suzanne skips out on time with her father to see Libler. Barry goes to Florida.
March 2020 – Spy pen records argument between Suzanne and Barry. “It’s money. It’s about money.” “… I have lived for years being told how I should feel, how I should act, how I should look, what I should drink, what I shouldn’t drink, what I should put in my body, what I shouldn’t put in my body … ”
March 20, 2020 – Jekyll and Hyde text exchange between Suzanne and SO, MM2 suggests restraining order. "It’s Jekyl and Hyde again … Pretty much told him I can’t be healthy and stay in this."
March 22, 2020 – Spy pen records Barry listening to Forensic Files episodes, call with Suzanne on drive to Pueblo Coincidentally one of the episodes involved a woman "disappearing" after a bike ride.
April 21, 2020 – Messages between Suzanne and Libler “I want to be with you,” “I can only be me with you,” I love you,” “I need you.” “You know I was born to love you.”
May 4, 2020 16:05 – Barry makes 3 second outgoing call to Suzanne This was the first logged call in Barry’s phone to or from Suzanne since February 7, 2020.
May 5, 2020 – Suzanne drives MM2 to Gunnison Suzanne drives Macy to Gunnison, CO to meet MM1 for a road/camping trip through Utah and Idaho with MM1's best friend.
May 6, 08:44 – Suzanne sends MM2 a text “Good morning! I miss you already!”
May 6, 10:13 – Suzanne: “I’m done. I could care less what you’re up to and have been for years.” From 14:43 to 17:00 Barry replied, “When I’m dead,” “Going to see my savior,” and “This life on earth is a mear (sic) grain of sand compared to eternity.”
May 6, 2020 – 14:43 – From Barry to Suzanne: “I’m sorry if things went the way they did. I have a problem dealing with the way you accused me of hiding checks. If you think I’m as terrible of a person to hide our accounts and have ones you don’t know about you don’t know me. All I do is for you and the girls. All. When I'm dead, which won't be long, you guys will be taken care of. Please stop being angry. If I can control my hurt heart I think I can overcome your distant unlovingness toward me. Honey, I swear it's the hardest thing I've had to do. I love you I always will.”
May 6, 2020 – 15:51 – Barry to Suzanne: “I promise you were wrong about all the crazy thoughts about me. I have always been faithful. Always. Why would I ever want another when I'm married to the most beautiful, sweet, kind, loving, woman as you? Only a fool would stray from an angel like you.”
May 07, 2020 – Suzanne messages Libler about how magical past days had been. Barry wants a new truck. 16:43 - “Been studying all afternoon. I’m gonna bike now. I’ve got veggie soup on for supper.”
May 7, 2020 – SB puts new tires on Suzanne’s bike Bike mechanic was interviewed by law enforcement.
May 7, 17:13:52 – Barry Works Out at GD’s House Truck log files place Barry at GD's home at 5:13 pm.
May 7, 2020 23:00 – “I finally got the job” text from MM1 goes unanswered. Q (Lindsey): Anything on May 6th that didn’t seem normal? Was there a text from Mallory to Mr. Morphew? A (Grusing): I believe that’s the night of May 7th. Mallory, Macy, and their friend Holly are out on a trip towards Utah and Mallory is sending pictures to both Suzanne and Barry but I was ... Read more
May 08, 07:03 – The Grievance List: Suzanne’s phone backs up a list of 50 reasons why she wanted to leave marriage on “Notes” Not safe alone with you. Can’t be trusted - Oppressive - Slam on brakes when angry - Threaten to jump out of car - Gun ...
May 08, 08:43 – “I will continue to do your invoicing when you need to.” "When FBI Agents showed Barry these texts during interviews in 2021, he said he did not think Suzanne was serious."
May 08, 09:28 – Suzanne texts sister about Barry’s abuse. “It’s hard dealing with the harsh abrasiveness and having to show respect. He’s also been abusive, emotionally and physically. There’s so much … I went thru a period of acceptance and I feel more angry now. Anger at what I’ve allowed.”
May 08, 10:55 Barry: “I Love You, Suzanne.” “But, in the afternoon, it (the text fight) was like it never happened. She texted me back and it was just like, ‘Hey, what time are you coming home? Hey, this or that. Just pick this up or pick that up.'”
May 08, 13:18 – Barry texts Salida Stove and Spa about getting the hot tub fixed. "Asking when he could come out to the home."
May 08, 15:43 – Barry’s iPhone receives an SMS message associated with the unknown device This second device was first used on November 30,2019 and was associated with Barry’s iPhone 91 times since then, compared to 1,701 associations with the primary User ID since November 2019.
May 8, 19:06 – Moonlight Pizza and Phone Calls Barry convinces Suzanne to meet him at the Tailwinds site before going to pick up Moonlight Pizza together.
May 08, 21:04 – 20 Facebook friend requests, 3 men named “Jeff.” Barry’s lurking at the River. Barry was asked about his phone pinging down by the river during the Facebook posts on Friday night and asked if he was outside. Barry said, “I could have been. I don’t remember. I chase critters around the house all the time.”
May 09, 00:02 – Incoming call on Suzanne’s phone (PH CAST) Incoming call on Suzanne’s phone (PH CAST)
May 09, 02:07 – Outgoing call on Suzanne’s phone (PH CAST) 02:07 am outgoing call on SM’s phone (PH CAST)
May 09, 06:00 – Barry’s phone received call (PH CAST) 06:00 am BM’s phone received call (PH CAST)
May 09, 06:46 – Barry’s phone registered “Power On” Comes out of Airplane mode.
May 09, 07:19 – Barry’s cell received signal (PH) Barry’s cell received signal (PH)
May 09, 07:22 – 07:39 – Barry at “Tailwinds” worksite Barry’s phone registered locations at his “Tailwinds” work site near Poncha Springs.
May 09, 07:35 – Suzanne texting SO Discussing Sheila's daughters wedding on Sunday.
May 09, 08:00 – MG was with Barry working on the rock beach site until 10am(?). Gentile: “He said that he had to go make the wife happy – do some hiking or biking.”
May 9 – Morning – Suzanne messaging Jeff “He’s still wanting Arizona.”
May 09, 09:50 – Barry to Suzanne: Want to go on hike? *Text Exchange\* Barry to Suzanne: Want to go on hike?
May 9, 2020 – 11:14 – Suzanne received a second password reset message from Facebook Previous reset was while Barry was down by the river on the evening of the 8th.
May 09, 11:15 est. – Barry tells Morgan Gentile he could “bury a body” and it “would never be found.” Gentile: “He seemed stressed. He definitely seemed weird on Saturday.”
May 09, 11:55 – Dead Turkey Hunt or Barry Takes Down His Trail Cameras Barry said he was looking for a turkey that Mallory had shot previously with a bow, but they had never found.
May 09, 13:35 – Barry leaves home again. Checked on job at Kim Gyms
May 9, 13:40(?) – Suzanne texts Libler Guess who is alone again?
May 09, 13:46 – Barry and the backhoe After texting, Barry drove by TK's house to see the backhoe, but did not get back in touch to buy it. In 2018, Barry used a backhoe to dig a large hole in his front yard, fill it with items to include furniture, and cover it over, planting alfalfa on top.
May 09, 13:51 – 14:13 – Barry at DSI, replacing Bobcat blade He was wearing a blue t-shirt and khaki shorts.
May 09, 14:03 – Suzanne sends sunbathing pic to Libler, last proof of life. “Well, look at her. She’s obviously drunk. Look at her eyes. Do you know what drunk eyes look like?
May 09, 14:11 – Suzanne sends last LinkedIn message to Libler: “I’m on wa.” Libler sent response messages at 2:39PM, 2:46PM and 2:47PM that Suzanne did not answer.
May 09, 14:26 – Barry texts Suzanne, “Done headed back.” He texted Suzanne that he was done and was headed home.
May 09, 14:31 – Barry texted Suzanne, “Did you leave.” At 2:31 PM, Barry texted Suzanne, “Did you leave.”
May 09, 14:39 – Libler messages Suzanne, she does not respond. First unread. Messages from LinkedIn show they were talking about how Suzanne is in love with Jeff before she went missing.
May 09, 14:43 – Barry’s phone and F-350, per telematics, arrive at the Morphew residence. "The photo is shown in the courtroom, Suzanne smiling. Truck GPS coordinates show Barry’s truck goes into park at 2:43:59. Phone coordinates show he walks around the house. You can hear a pin drop in the courtroom as tension is high." - Carol McKinley, PH Tweet
May 09, 14:44 – Shooting Chipmunks? Barry had a .22 in the moments when Suzanne ceased the communicate with everyone she loved in the world. Shooting Chipmunks? Barry had a .22 in the moments when Suzanne ceased the communicate with everyone she loved in the world. (See: https://www.reddit.com/SuzanneMorphew/comments/17lfboz/barry_and_the_chipmunks_aa_excerpts/ )
May 09, 14:46 – Libler messages: “Hey … your weather looks great” Second unread. No response from Suzanne.
May 09, 14:47 – Jeff sends another messages to Suzanne with no response. Third unread. Jeff sends last message if the day to Suzanne with no response.
May 09, 16:00 – 17:30 – Defense says Barry was at Salida Stove and Spa Salida Stove and Spa's posted hours have the store closing at 2pm on Saturday. Telematics show Barry's truck in his garage during the time he was supposedly at Salida Stove and Spa.
May 09, 16:44 – Barry parks his truck in the garage. Barry claims to have been loading his truck and cleaning off his workbench. (See: https://www.google.com/maps/d/edit?hl=en&mid=1FSqlFRrywR8FkytAYkNM-bdSxvKVK5MP&ll=39.173623131314%2C-105.63244&z=8)
May 09, 17:33 – Barry’s truck system manually rebooted Barry attempted to disable the trucks GPS and SYNC features.
May 09, 18:40, 18:46 – SO sends two Snapchats to Suzanne that were never opened SO sends two Snapchats to Suzanne that were never opened
May 09, 21:25 – Barry’s truck goes into reverse, backs 96.8 feet down driveway Barry backs 96 feet out of the garage.
May 09, 22:17 – Barry’s Phone Exits out of Airplane Mode Barry's phone comes out of airplane mode at the Morphew residence.
May 10, 02:53 – Outgoing call on Suzanne’s phone Possible glitch.
May 10, 03:25 – 03:48 – Barry’s truck door opened and closed "SA Hoyland noted over eighty events involving the F350 during this timeframe."
May 10, 03:58 – Barry’s phone moves from home to near where Suzanne’s bike found 3:58 am BM cell moves from home to near 225/50 where bike found Carol McKinley PH Tweets (read from bottom tweet up): 431 am 5/10 Barry’s phone goes back into airplane mode at the his home. 5:37 am – morphew turns into buena vista & heads towards broomfield. 538 he texts his mom “happy ... Read more
May 10, 04:10 – 04:23 – Last Activity from Suzanne’s iPhone Sergeant Mullenax asked dispatch to ping the number given for Suzanne’s cell phone. Dispatch informed Mullenax that the cell phone appeared to be off and last known activity was at 4:23AM on the present date, with a general location about 11.5 miles west of a cell tower in Poncha Springs, CO.
May 10, 04:32 – Barry’s Phone Goes Back into Airplane Mode Barry's Phone Goes Back into Airplane Mode
May 10, 04:32 – 05:14 – Chasing Elk, or Staging Evidence? Barry's trip to Garfield adds an approximate five miles each way to his morning trip, and places Barry and his vehicle in the direction the helmet was discarded - west from the bicycle.
May 10, 05:00 – Morgan Gentile Hears Barry’s Truck on Hwy 50 Gentile stated she did not see the truck but that his truck has a very distinctive exhaust.
May 10, 05:14 – 06:56 – Barry on the road to Broomfield. Barry phone exits airplane mode while heading towards Buena Vista, CO.
May 10, 08:10 – Trash Dump #1 – RTD Bus Stop Hwy 36 Agent Grusing: "Yes. He would have time -- with the passenger door opening and closing -- like it would say passenger door opened at 8:10:36 am and then passenger door closed at 8:12:13 am. So it took about a minute and a half and that trash can is only 10 to 15 steps away from where the truck was parked."
May 10, 08:14 – 08:20 Holiday Inn Express, Broomfield. Trash Dump #2 Grusing: "He said he parked there because he hoped someone would come out and he could go in the hotel before checking in and get a free breakfast." (Note: It was mid-COVID lockdown, building capacities were down to single digits.)
May 10, 08:41 – 08:46 – “I made it to Broomfield call me when you get a chance” Barry texts Suzanne.
May 10, 08:46 – Barry carries items into the Holiday Inn Express “If there’s clothes in my truck, there was probably old clothes I threw away.”
May 10, 10:06 – Barry exits hotel room. He's carrying a charcoal long-sleeved shirt, two white bags, and a pair of boots.
May 10, 10:20 – 10:41 – McDonald’s – Trash Dump #3 SA Grusing said Barry had a small item in his hand and used one arm to push it down, then both to push it further down as Barry was shown the photos.
May 10, 10:47 – 11:18 – Men’s Wearhouse Trash Dump #4 Barry was told he was there for about 40 minutes and asked if he remembered what he was doing there. Barry said, “I think I was still cleaning my truck, umm, yeah, yeah I mean, like I said, I just uh, I would, I was probably getting crap out of my truck like I said, which I’ve done my whole entire life.”
May 10, 11:18 – Barry calls MG "Barry called he was out of breathe (sic) panting but fatigue, kind a like hungover but he doesn’t drink, honestly when I hung up I thought to myself he sounded like he had the worst night of his life.” - MG
May 10, 11:23 – 11:36 – Barry back at the HIE Barry carries in disorganized papers in a binder. Carries out an organized binder.
May 10, 11:57 – 12:25 – Barry at the worksite Barry spent 28 minutes removing a few blocks from the wall.
May 10, 12:28 – 12:41 – HIE Trash Dump #5 A camera recorded Barry throwing away: a small item, one white trash bag, larger in size than the previous bags in one hand, a black container, along with a piece of clothing, possibly a camouflage coat.
May 10, 12:42 – 18:03 – Barry remains in his HIE room. ”At 3:30PM, Barry sent an outgoing message to Suzanne 'Call me'"
May 10, 2020 (Time Unknown) – Libler wishes Suzanne a Happy Mother’s Day Commented that it would be a hard day because she missed her own mother.
May 10, 2020 – 15:30 – Barry texts Suzanne from his hotel room. At 3:30PM, Barry sent an outgoing message to Suzanne “Call me”
May 10, 15:50 – 17:45 – Suzanne is discovered “missing” “I’m just so sad and REDCATED and I texted mom for Mother’s Day and she still hasn’t answered and I’m scared her and dad probably got in a big fight and I don’t even know it just made me want to be gone even more because I don’t want to be around them it hurts me and I know if REDACTED is working I might have to be home a lot more and it’ll probably be the worst summer of my life.”- MM2 text.
May 10, 17:55 – 19:10 – Barry leaving Broomfield 6:10 pm - Barry entered the lobby carrying two shovels and placed them beside the front desk. He made subsequent trips, placing more tools in the same spot.
May 10, 19:31 – Chaffee County finds the bike “Something is up with the front tire,” Deputy Brown
May 10, 20:42 – Barry arrives at CR 255 & US 50 "Barry is heard asking if deputies saw any “cats” on the road and a deputy says not recently."
May 10, 21:37 – CCSO Commander Avila brings Barry into the house for scent items. Barry does not call out or look for his wife in the home.
May 10, After 21:47 – Barefoot prints in the Bobcat Bucket Deputy Brown was walking in the driveway when Deputy Defurio told him that there were barefoot marks inside of the bucket on the Bobcat. Deputy Brown went with him to examine and found that the cutting blade on the bucket of the Bobcat appeared to be newly replaced, along with the nuts and bolts.
May 10, 22:00 – MG and JP smell chlorine and have the wrong tools in Broomfield. “It looked like Barry had removed top caps that was it. We also did not have the tools we need like a packer or gravel.”
May 11, 2020 – First Interviews, Puma Path Searched "On May 11, 2020, at about 7:00AM, Barry called Morgan and said that Suzanne was missing and he thought a mountain lion may have attacked her. Morgan explained that Barry was initially crying but then abruptly shifted to the specifics about the Broomfield job."
May 11, 2020 – 14:47 – Libler sends last message to Suzanne. Wishing her well for her scheduled final cancer treatment that day.
May 12, 2020 – 20:00 – Barry found digging in the trash at Poncha Market “He went to write down a description of maybe what she was wearing,” Butala said. “I just thought it was weird because he didn’t explain what the color of her eyes were or her hair or anything about her, like how tall she was or anything.”
May 13, 2020 – Deputy Carricato took photos of scratches on Barry’s left arm and hands. These injuries appeared to be healing, several days old scratches.
May 13, 2020 – Fundraiser created $33,552 raised
May 17, 2020 – 11:13 – Barry’s “plea” video is released on Facebook. “Oh Suzanne, if anyone is out there and can hear this, that has you, please, we’ll do whatever it takes to bring you back. We love you, we miss you, your girls need you. No questions asked, however much they want – I will do whatever it takes to get you back. Honey, I love you, I want you back so bad.”
May 19, 2020 – Interviews, Pneu-Darts, Range Rovers "CCSO Deputy Scott Himschoot was present during the search at 19057 Puma Path, in the laundry room, and was asked to collect a “pneu-dart box, empty,” one plastic hypodermic cover, one Pneu-dart book from safe in garage, one dart from box under bench in garage, among other items. The plastic cover was located by evidence search teams in the dryer, inside of the sheets belonging to REDACTED bed." (At some point we had confirmation of a to-do list Suzanne left including MM1s bedding in hopes that the older girls would spend the night. Cannot remember the source.)
May 20, 2020 – Spy Pen found. "The pen was located in a cloth bin amongst women’s bras. The cloth bin and pen were inside the walk-in closet in the master bedroom, located on the ground level of the residence. Detective Hysjulien located, with the pen, the controller and headphones for playback and a USB cable."
June 1, 2020 – Barry files for guardianship. Within a month of Suzanne’s disappearance, Barry began to liquidate assets.
June 1, 2020 – TD interviews Barry on camera. "So, uh -- we uh --. We had two daughters that were coming home from a trip. And I got a job in Denver that I wanted to get started on on Sunday. Set it up for my work because my rookies are coming in Sunday night. (Unintelligible) Monday but I, being the owner, I wanted to get everything lined up so that (Unintelligible).
June 6, 2020 – Barry closes on IN home. Pockets $750,000
June 25, 2020 – Barry purchases the Longhorn Ranch property for $165,000 Property Address 8366 LONGHORN DR
July 13, 2020 – Barry sells Suzanne’s Range Rover. Leaves Suzanne's sunglasses in the car.
Aug 20, 2020 – Lauren Scharf Interviews Barry “People don’t know the truth, so they’re gonna think what they’re gonna think.”
October 05, 2020 – Barry lists Puma Path home for sale. Originally listed for $1,759,000.
November 2020 – Barry Commits Voter Fraud Barry filled out Suzanne's ballot and mailed it in.
February 17, 2021 – Barry Sells Longhorn Ranch property for $150,000 A $15,000 loss. Same property sold on 04/21/2021 for $175,000, indicating Barry needed the money fast.
March 3, 2021 – 19057 Puma Path sells for $1,625,000. Barry and Suzanne Morphew purchased the home on April 12, 2018 for $1,575,000.
May 4, 2021 – Warrant Issued for the Arrest of Barry Lee Morphew CRS/CHARGE: 18-3-102 (1), (a) Murder in the First Degree, a class 1 Felony, 18-8-610. Tampering with Physical Evidence, a class 6 felony, 18-8-306, Attempt to Influence a Public Servant, a class 4 Felony.
May 5, 2021 – 09:15 – Barry Lee Morphew Arrested for the murder of Suzanne Renee Moorman Morphew "Morphew was arrested around 9:15 a.m. on Wednesday, May 5 near his home in Poncha Springs. FOX31 News has obtained video of the arrest, which shows his truck stopped on the side of the road near several police vehicles. He can be seen standing just off the road with an officer." AA: https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/21065843-21cr78-morphew-redacted-affidavit
August 9-12, 2021 – Preliminary Hearing. Day One: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15wZ86C3zQ6kh9VGOUCJcr0ipCoFeaXkdowmwyaruiIQ/edit?usp=drive_link
Day Two: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QKa1jcH2dAqe9Wezew-KbLCDuicrm1HgfwC4oGwM8Dg/edit?usp=drive_link
Day Three got corrupted so it's gone.
People's exhibit images: https://imgur.com/a/hgvlBUt Defense exhibit images: https://imgur.com/a/VC3ZfUZ
April 19, 2022 - Case against Barry Morphew Dismissed Without Prejudice. Prosecution asked for the case to be dismissed.
May 2, 2023 – Barry files $15,000,000 lawsuit against Chaffee County, et.al. https://www.9news.com/article/news/local/barry-morphew-lawsuit/73-3cea50c2-cdae-4338-8de9-9e113d33db6c
May 8, 2023 – Fraud Lawsuit filed against Barry in Indiana. Property dispute. https://denvergazette.com/news/courts/barry-morphew-sued-fraud-allegations-land-dispute/article_1c7cd90e-f4f5-11ed-9778-47c9c303d16d.html
September 22, 2023 – Suzanne's Remains Found Near Moffat in Saguache County While SCSO was searching for another (unrelated) missing woman. https://www.cbsnews.com/colorado/news/suzanne-morphew-remains-found-colorado-missing-mother-barry-chaffee-county-disappearance/
Sept. 27, 2023 – Autopsy Completed. Awaiting Toxicology. https://cbi.colorado.gov/news-article/suzanne-morphew-autopsy-results-cbi-update-0https://www.cbsnews.com/colorado/news/autopsy-complete-remains-missing-colorado-mom-suzanne-morphew/
April 29, 2024 – Toxicology finds BAM in Suzanne's bone marrow. “Homicide by undetermined means in the setting of butorphanol, azaperone, and medetomidine intoxication.” https://www.scribd.com/document/727780041/Suzanne-Morphew-autopsy-results https://www.cpr.org/2024/04/29/suzanne-morphew-died-by-homicide-with-tranquilizer-chemicals-present-in-body-according-to-autopsy-report/

This is almost a month late! It's taken time to reflect and collect my thoughts, as well as rewrite this 50 times over*! There's a blog post about it with pictures and maps for those interested. Apologies if I'm not allowed to post links!
* see one of my lessons further down about over thinking of things!

TL;DR

This is THE race I have been trying to run for years, and when it finally came, it didn’t disappoint despite a sub-par performance on the day. I accomplished most of what I set out to achieve, and had an amazing day.

Goals

1. 3:20:00 - Fail
2. 3:30:00 - Fail
3. 3:40:00 - Pass
4. Bonus: Experience it - Pass
5. Bonus: Raise money for WWF - £800+

Results

Time: 3:38:21
Position: 12,670/ ~50,000+ (masses)

Report

It was a bright and sunny, but bitterly cold morning. Wind chill was around 0°C. As I threw off my warm layers, and approached the starting gate, I was at the peak of my anxiety. It had been building for days, probably weeks. Finally, I was only metres from the London Marathon start line and everything I had been working towards over the last 4 months was finally being released. The emotion was palpable. Tears moistened my eyes briefly . I could feel the stress starting to evaporate as I crossed the start line. I knew that this was it. Everything I had trained for, everything I had read and learned all needed to be implemented to the letter if I was to get my marathon PB.
3 hours, 38 minutes and 21 seconds later, I was crossing the finish line without a PB. My anxiety and nerves had been replaced with elation and exhaustion. There was pain and nausea mixed with joy and pride. I had a London Marathon medal around my neck finally! There was a tinge of regret that I didn’t get my PB, but after the last few hours, I was more than happy to have made it to the end, and done it in a good time.
The last few hours had been a rollercoaster of emotions. The whole of London had come out along with my family. This was London on one of it’s best days. But it hadn’t all been smooth sailing.
As I had stumbled over the finish line the first thing I wanted to do was stop, lie down and try not to be sick. I’d spent the last 10km struggling hard when my legs just ran out of energy. I hadn’t been topping up with gels since around 25km after getting at stitch, whilst simultaneously feeling sick and hungry. I didn’t have any reserves left in my legs and kept having to stop, stretch and walk. The support kept me going. Incredible crowds kept me going. “Go on Carl. Keep going!”. High fives kept me going! Knowing I had family out there supporting me kept me going, and having people who had made charity donations on my behalf to the WWF kept me going.
But where did my energy go? This all comes back to the anxiety that had been building over the last few days and weeks. From the Wednesday my appetite had just fallen off a cliff. When I did eat, it was just butterflies and they have next to no carbs! I always get race nerves, but that’s normally on the race morning so it doesn’t really affect the carbo-loading during the previous days.

Let's go!

The start went perfectly. I had said to myself, run the first third with my head, the second with my legs and the third with my heart. I didn’t go off too fast, in-fact I had stuck almost exactly to the 4:44/km pace I needed despite the long downhill in the first few km.
I was actually having fun. High fiving all the kids! Enjoying the atmosphere. It was busy on and off the course. there was almost a fun run atmosphere. It didn’t feel like a race, and my legs felt really good. By the time I arrived at the Cutty Sark, 10k in, I felt like everything had bedded down and I was just gliding along. The only issue at this point was my vest starting to rub, but that wasn’t anything to worry about. Somewhere in the crowds was my wife, Shadia, cheering me on but it was that busy I didn’t see her.
At almost the half way mark, is one of the iconic landmarks on the course, Tower Bridge. I got my phone out to take some photos and was surprised to find myself heading up hill. It’s probably the first uphill on the course that’s noticeable and by the time I was halfway across my HR was in the red zone, but I didn’t really notice until after because the crowd here were electric, and the backdrop was incredible. The course narrows over the bridge as you pass under the iconic towers, and on each side there’s people 5 deep cheering everyone on.
Then before you know it, you’ve crossed over and started towards Canary Wharf. I hit the half way mark with a 1:41:55. I was a little behind target, but my pace was good and I had just ran one of my top 5 half marathon paces. On the other side of the road, the pros flew past which was awesome to see and really makes it feel like a big event being on the same course as olympians and world record holders. They have a head start, so it’s not really fair!
It had all being going well, until it wasn’t. As I got towards 25/26km I started to get the sense that the easy bit was over. It started with a stitch, which meant that I just couldn’t keep up the pace. I put this down to 2 things. Coke, and shortbread. Since I hadn’t managed to carbo-load due to the anxiety over the previous days, I had decided to nibble some shortbread all morning before the start in an attempt to gain some energy. Likewise, before the race I’d needed a drink, and my thoughts went straight to something with sugar. Coke. Now a combo of carbonated sugar, and Scottish biscuits were enacting their revenge!
After backing off the pace somewhat, the stitch mostly went away, but I didn’t want it back, and made the mistake of stopping eating my energy gels or drinking much water. About 5km later, in the low 30km range my pace started to fall away from me. People say that the halfway point in a marathon is about 30km. I now understand why. The last 12km felt like more effort than the first 21km. Every time I looked at my watch I could see my pace dropping and felt my PB attempt slipping though my fingers. I would slow, then a dinosaur or a seagull would overtake me and it would spur me on for 500m, then I’d slow and someone would yell “Go Carl” and it would be another 300m or so.
Even when I arrived at Big Ben and I knew it was 1km to go, it felt like an almost insurmountable task. Flashing back to October last year and the Chester Marathon, the last 1km had been hard, but I still had something in the tank. This was just running on fumes. The only thing I didn’t want to do was to walk that final bit. I could see my time was now looking nearer to exceeding 3:40 and if I walked then my final target would have been missed. I just had to grit my teeth and slog on.
400m to go and it was “just one loop around a track”. That felt like a big ask, but I forced myself with all my remaining effort not to slow or walk. Finally rounding the corner in front of the palace with about 200m to go, the finish line appeared into sight. Can I summon up a sprint finish? No. not even a slight uptick in pace. That’s how empty my tank was. Just put one foot in front of the other and reel it in and try not to trip over the timing mats at the finish line. Then, as suddenly as it had started, it was over. LonDone! Someone placed a medal around my neck and I finally the magnitude of what I’d done finally struck home “I’ve got a London Marathon medal. I’ve actually got one. Wow.”
Almost immediately as I finish, Shadia called me to try and meet up. I’m trying to explain where I am and how we can meet but my brain just doesn’t have the ability. It’s a mess.

It’s hard to describe to someone how f**ked you feel when you finished something like a marathon. It’s not like being tired from doing a 5K when you start out running. It’s not like your first 10K either, or even a half marathon. Your body is just exhausted. Every muscle aches. You have no energy. After 30km your energy supplies have dwindled and you are left tired and broken.

Eventually Shadia gets some sense out of me and we try to figure out a place to meet. A bit dazed and confused I shuffled off towards blankets, Lucozade and the exits. It’s busy, so we change the plan a few times, finally ending in Charring cross for a celebratory beer, before heading back to base. And with that, the London Marathon is done.

Route

It's a pretty well known route (see my linked post for the route map)

Kit

• WWF Vest
• Salomon Running Vest
• INOV-8 Race shorts
• Nike Air Zoom Alphafly Next% 2
• Darn tough socks
• Garmin HR Pro band
• Garmin Epix 2
• Shockz OpenRun headphones
• Salomon 500ml bottles (water)
• SiS energy gels (various flavours)

Lessons

Post race I jotted down my thoughts in a mind-map so I could quickly explore how things went. This isn't something I have tried before, but it worked really well to quickly surmise the whole event, training and experience of the London Marathon.

Nutrition and energy

My fuelling pre race, was s**t. I know this. I should have been aiming for 600-700g of carbs a day from the Wednesday onwards and failed hard. This hit me hard in the race. that was the fabled wall. There’s nothing more to say about this.
There’s 2 things I’m looking at to fix this. Other types of gel. Energy drinks on the days leading up to it. I think I can handle them despite the anxiety and it’s a good way to load up some carbs at least!

Training plan and goals

I set out in January a goal to beat my Chester PB of 2023. 3:32:36. For Chester I had done no specific training, although I already had a regime with a lot of base (Z3) runs, ParkRun’s ran as races most Saturdays and a long run each week, with a few bing half marathons. There were about 2 30km+ runs over the 4 months before. I was probably averaging 50km per week.
For the London Marathon I started training on the first of January, following my Garmin Epix’s suggested runs. This pushed me pretty well, and was a good mix of long, hard and easy runs. The problems with this arose when Idris went back to nursery and the germs got him! That meant rubbish sleep, and the suggested runs tried to be nice, which meant it was all short and easy.
I started looking at a range of plans which could push me hard enough, whilst also not taking up every waking hour with running. I can’t remember now, because I didn’t write it down, but the closest I got was Jack Daniels advanced or Pfitz 12/50, but both of these still weren’t quite a good enough match, so the only option was to roll my own.
This boiled down to a simple plan:

• Monday: Z2 / Recovery
• Tuesday: Sprints / hills
• Wednesday: Z2 / Recovery
• Thursday: Threshold or intervals
• Friday: Z2 / Recovery
• Saturday: Long run at base, increasing to 33km
• Sunday: Base

Most runs ended up being around 10k in length apart from the long runs. I also dropped ParkRuns on a Saturday so that I could focus on the sprints/intervals and long runs without being too knackered. From February my long runs were around 21km, but during March I started to push these to 33km. All the time this was going on, my predicted Marathon time was improving from low 3:30s towards the low 3:20s. So far so good.
Because of this shift in my predicted time I changed my goal from beating my PB, to going for 3:20. This was probably a mistake, and I should have looked at RunAlyze’s predicted time which takes into account weekly mileage and longest runs over the period. It turned out to be more accurate. I think if i’d gone out of the gate slower, or dropped my pace and continued fuelling when the stitch arrived I wouldn’t have hit such a wall and missed my PB. Lesson learned.

Anxiety and stress

I over think. A lot. Not being at home the lead up added to my stress. Travelling down a few days before and trying to incorporate sightseeing really didn’t help. Add into the mix, trying to do sightseeing with family and help coordinate where to watch was probably the another nail in my PB attempt.
One other aspect around this event was the historic significance of it to me. My previous job, starting 15+ years ago, had revolved around the London Marathon like the earth around the sun. It was seen as one of the pinnacles of the road race calendar. Back then I didn’t even run, but a large part of me started running due to this. Because of Realbuzz I ran my first half marathon and for years I have tried, and failed, to get on to the London Marathon, so to finally be able to run it, and to be in a position where I can run it well (pushing for a PB) was a lot of self inflicted pressure.
My solution is to more races of a big nature. Keeping me out of my comfort zone can only help me get used to it. Mixed in with better planned travel/sightseeing and I might just be race ready. I hope so, because I’m signed up to Chester and Yorkshire marathons in October already!

Fundraising

Remember when you were a kid and did charity fundraising for 5p a length of the pool, or something like that! Well, I hadn't really done any since then. When I signed up for the London Marathon to raise money for the World Wildlife Fund it was always something I kept pushing back to do later. I was a little nervous to ask for donations. When my WWF vest arrived, I knew it was time to grow up and just ask.
The reality is that you have to pester people. Some will love your cause, or your dedication and other’s not so much. You’ll get something from someone and then the ball is rolling. The lesson is, do it ASAP so you have time to ask again, and again in different ways.
https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Carl-Topham
Thanks to every who donated, liked and shared my campaign. As one UK supermarket says… every little helps.

Miscellaneous

I’ve always been worried about running out of water. That was never going to happen if I’d looked at the route maps. Every 5km is plenty. I ran with a vest so I could carry 1 litre of water! That’s excessive and caused my running vest to rub and then bleed. This wasn’t a show stopper until a few days after, but unless I’m out on the trails, or self supporting, then a smaller waist pack should be enough.

It’s not all bad

Family support throughout my training and accommodation for my long runs especially from Shadia. They’ve been flexible and allowed me to have time to do what I needed to do which has massively helped.
In the last month or so I started to add in some strength training. Mainly press ups and sit ups with some stretching also. Unlike last years Chester marathon, it may have contributed to me being able to continue running only days after. Chester crippled me for over 2 weeks.

Final thoughts

I’m doing it again, somehow, some day. While it was a very hard day, especially the second “half”, the sheer atmosphere and emotion just made it epic.
This was THE race for me. While I didn’t get the result I wanted to, it was an incredible, enjoyable experience that I already look back on with fondness and pride. I think there are some valuable lessons to take away from it which I can apply already so hopefully this will be a notable stepping point in my running achievements.This is THE race I have been trying to run for years, and when it finally came, it didn’t disappoint despite a sub-par performance on the day. I accomplished most of what I set out to achieve, and had an amazing day.

I know lots of people have had adhesion issues for a variety of different reasons - that being said I haven't seen many complaints from the gold texture plate community. I recently started having adhesion issues, I'm using a P1S I've had for a couple of months, done lots of printing on it, again, never had any issues until recently. Flipped the plate over, worked a few times and now it has issues as well. I've tried washing it with soapy water, letting it air dry, it worked for about a print and now I can't get anything to adhere... is it possible it's just worn out? It seems too new to have that issue. I know the website says you don't need any glue, but I tried glue last night and it worked to adhere my print to the plate, so that brings me back to square one, it's gotta be the plate... any suggestions on how else to get it back to being able to have prints stick to it? I've avoided the 99% ISO because I've read mixed reviews... am I doing something wrong?

As far back as I can remember, I had always been passionate about the great outdoors. My love for the wilderness began when I joined the scouts, exploring the diverse landscapes of Southern California, Nevada, Arizona, and Utah. I was never a huge fan of the dry, barren landscapes, but camping provided a much-needed escape from the monotony of Orange County suburbia.
The first time I visited the Pacific Northwest, I was enchanted. The scenery was breathtaking—majestic mountains, lush fields, and meandering rivers. It was clear that anyone who praised the desert's beauty had never laid eyes on the Cascades. Seeing grass and wildflowers growing without irrigation was practically a revelation.
When I was old enough, I moved to Washington state, immersing myself in nature every weekend. My adventures took me hiking through dense forests, camping by serene lakes, and occasionally taking mushrooms under peaceful waterfalls.
I joined several online forums dedicated to outdoor enthusiasts. One community that particularly fascinated me was the Northwest Tomb Raiders. This group of history buffs and thrill-seekers was dedicated to uncovering artifacts, whether Native American relics or treasures hidden in modern ruins. Many members were collectors, fencing their finds to museums and archaeologists, which made it a rather profitable side gig, should you be lucky enough.
In the fall of 2009, an intriguing post appeared on the forum. A user named Lokk claimed to have discovered a cache of artifacts with Scandinavian origins. He couldn't carry everything back due to the treacherous terrain and his age, so he shared the coordinates, hoping someone else could retrieve the items. I scrolled down to see a few posts of people planning to loot it in the Spring, when the paths have reopened. One user, Patagooner, planned on going as early as possible.
Excited by the prospect, I gathered my two friends, Carl and Noah, for the expedition. They weren't as enthusiastic about camping as I was, but after I told them how much a single arrowhead goes for on the black market, they were on board. It was the start of winter now, which had its advantages and disadvantages. On the plus side, the rangers would have a harder time spotting us. On the downside, the harsh conditions posed a serious challenge for two inexperienced hikers.
I must’ve blown about four grand at REI on gear for them, justifying it with the knowledge of how much more I would make with two extra packs. That is of course assuming there really were as many artifacts as Lokk had said, and Patagooner hadn’t beaten me there.
The journey began like any other. We met in the pre-dawn darkness and went over our supplies, ensuring we had everything we needed. By mid-morning, we were on our way, my pickup truck winding up the mountain paths. The roads of Olympic National Park were the epitome of the raw, untamed beauty of the Pacific Northwest.
They snake through ancient forests, where towering Douglas firs and Western hemlocks create a verdant canopy overhead. Mist clings to the trees, giving the landscape an ethereal quality. Occasionally, the forest would open up to reveal breathtaking vistas of snow-capped peaks and deep, shadowy valleys.
As we climbed higher, the landscape grew increasingly desolate. The dense forest thinned out, replaced by rugged terrain and jagged rock formations. The air grew colder, and the first flurries of snow began to fall, dusting the ground in a thin, white layer. The road became narrower and more treacherous, winding precariously along the edge of steep cliffs.
Finally, a road closure blockade signaled the end of our journey in the truck. We unloaded three dirt bikes—one mine, two rentals—and continued up the trail. The bikes roared to life, carrying us several more miles into the wilderness. The trail twisted and turned, cutting through dense underbrush and over fallen logs. The snow began to fall more heavily, blanketing the forest floor and muffling the sound of our engines. The world around us grew quieter, more isolated.
Eventually, the snow became too deep to traverse by bike. We dismounted and prepared to continue on foot. The silence of the forest was profound, broken only by the occasional rustle of branches in the wind. I checked my modern GPS, its screen displaying the coordinates and a relief map of our destination.
The cold air bit into our cheeks as we trudged through the snow-laden forest. The silence was almost oppressive, broken only by the crunch of our footsteps and the occasional call of distant wildlife. The GPS indicated we were close to our destination, but the dense underbrush and uneven terrain made progress slow.
Suddenly, Carl's excited whisper cut through the stillness. "Hey, look at that!"
He pointed to a small, furry creature ambling through the trees. It took a moment to realize what it was—a bear cub, innocently exploring its surroundings.
My heart sank. "Carl, get back," I hissed, my voice low but urgent. "Where there's a cub, there's a..."
Before I could finish, a massive shape exploded from the trees. The mother bear, easily three times the size of the cub, charged at Carl with a ferocity. She was a blur of dark fur and powerful muscles, her roar echoing through the forest.
"Run!" I yelled, but it was too late. The bear was upon Carl, swiping at him with her massive paws. He screamed as he fell to the ground, the bear towering over him. Desperation and adrenaline surged through me. I grabbed the nearest heavy branch and swung it at the bear, hoping to distract her.
Noah joined in, shouting and waving his arms. We had to be careful; one wrong move and she would turn on us. The bear snarled, turning her attention away from Carl for just a moment. It was enough for him to scramble backwards, clutching his bleeding arm.
"We have to get him out of here," I shouted to Noah, who nodded, fear etched on his face. The bear, still enraged, seemed torn between attacking us and protecting her cub.
Using the brief respite, we hauled Carl to his feet. His face was white, and he was clearly in shock. Blood soaked his sleeve, dripping onto the snow. "There's a ranger station about two miles from here," I said, my voice shaking. "We need to get him there. Now."
We half-carried, half-dragged Carl through the forest, every shadow and sound heightening our paranoia.
Finally, after what felt like forever, the small, wooden structure of the ranger station came into view. We had been avoiding the rangers to keep our expedition secret, but now it was our only hope.
Pounding on the door, I prayed for a quick response. The door creaked open, and a weathered face appeared. "What happened?" the ranger demanded, taking in the sight of Carl's bloodied form.
"Bear attack," I gasped. "We need help."
The ranger's expression shifted from suspicion to urgency. "Get him inside. We've got a first aid kit and a radio."
As we eased Carl onto a makeshift bed, the ranger inspected his wounds. "You're lucky," he said after a moment. "The cuts are deep, but they missed any major arteries. He'll need stitches, but we can handle that here. No need for an airlift."
The ranger's face darkened as he turned to me. "What the hell are you boys doing out here?”
I hesitated, "We... we were just exploring."
The ranger's eyes narrowed, his anger palpable. "Exploring? In a restricted area? In the middle of winter? Are you out of your minds?"
He worked quickly and efficiently, cleaning and stitching Carl's wounds. Carl winced but stayed silent, his eyes closed in pain.
"Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out here?" the ranger continued, his voice rising. "The storm, the wildlife... This area is off-limits for a reason! You should have known better." he said, pushing a finger into my chest.
"We'll stay here for the night," he continued, "The storm's getting worse, and it's too dangerous to move him now. We'll reassess in the morning. And count yourself lucky I don't arrest your asses."
Night fell quickly, the storm outside growing more ferocious with each passing minute. The howling wind battered the small ranger station, and the walls creaked under the pressure. We huddled in the main room, the tension thick in the air.
The ranger looked at us sternly. "I need to check the perimeter and make sure everything is secure. There are things out there you don’t want to encounter, especially in this storm."
"Things? What do you mean?" Noah asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
The ranger's expression hardened. "Just stay put. No matter what you see or hear, do not leave this cabin. Understood?"
We nodded, the seriousness in his tone leaving no room for argument. "We'll stay put," I said, trying to sound more confident than I felt.
The ranger grabbed his coat and shotgun. "I'll be back in an hour. Do not leave this cabin." With that, he opened the door and stepped into the raging storm, disappearing into the darkness.
As soon as the door closed, I turned to Noah. "We need to go. Now."
Noah's eyes widened. "Are you crazy? He said to stay put."
"If we wait until morning, we'll be escorted out of here and lose our chance. This might be our only opportunity to find those artifacts."
Noah hesitated with uncertainty "But... what about Carl?"
"He'll be fine here. The ranger can take care of him. We have to do this now."
Reluctantly, Noah nodded. "Alright. Let's take what we can and go."
We quickly looted extra gear from the cabin. I checked the GPS one last time before we slipped out into the storm, the cold wind battering us.
The snow fell heavily, obscuring our vision as we slogged through the forest. The ranger was nowhere in sight as we made our way towards the our destination, each step filled with trepidatious excitement.
The storm began to die down as we approached the coordinates. We stepped into a clearing where the undisturbed snow lay like a pristine white blanket. In the center stood an ancient, weathered stone altar, encircled by intricate wooden carvings, delicate metalwork, and beautifully crafted statues. The sight was breathtaking, a treasure trove, a veritable museum of paganism.
Noah and I exchanged glances, our eyes wide with amazement. "Do you see this?" I whispered, barely able to contain my excitement.
"We're going to be rich," Noah replied, his voice trembling with awe. "These must be worth a fortune!"
We approached cautiously, as if the vision before us might disappear. The craftsmanship was stunning. I reached out to touch a carved wooden idol, marveling at the detail. "This is incredible," I said, my voice barely audible.
We began to load our packs with as many artifacts as we could carry, each one more exquisite than the last. It was beyond our wildest dreams. We were so engrossed in our task that we didn't notice the small figure watching us from the ridge.
It wasn't until I turned to leave that I saw her. A young girl, maybe eight years old, stood there, her blue eyes wide with curiosity. She was dressed in simple, rustic clothing, her blonde straight hair blowing gently in the wind. For a moment, we just stared at each other.
"Noah," I whispered urgently, nudging him. "Look."
He turned, his eyes following my gaze. "What the...?" he muttered, his voice trailing off.
The girl took a tentative step forward, her eyes fixed on the items in our hands. There was no fear in her gaze, only a quiet intensity that made my skin crawl.
"Who are you?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.
She tilted her head slightly. "My name is Sigyn."
"What are you doing out here, Sigyn?" Noah asked, his voice shaky.
"I live here,"
"You live here?" I echoed, incredulous. "Is there anyone else around?"
"Yes," she whispered.
"Where?" Noah demanded, looking around nervously.
"Everywhere," she said with a giggle.
The way she said it, so matter-of-factly, bothered me deeply. Noah and I exchanged a look, both of us trying to figure out what to do next.
"We can't take her back to the ranger," Noah started, "We'll lose everything."
I nodded, my mind racing. "Sigyn," I said slowly, "we need to know who else is here. Can you help us?"
She looked at me with her piercing blue eyes, then said, "I'm sorry."
"For what?" Noah asked.
"For what's going to happen to you," she replied, her voice tinged with sadness.
"You need to tell us what's going on," Noah said, grabbing her arm roughly. "Why are you out here alone?"
She looked up at him, unperturbed. "I am not alone," she said softly.
Before we could press her further, a loud, guttural mooing sound echoed through the clearing. We turned towards the direction the girl had come from, and there, emerging from the shadows, was the silhouette of an elk. As it approached, my stomach dropped. Its body was a grotesque amalgamation of life and decay. Its skull was fully exposed, the eye sockets dark and empty. Large patches of its ribs were visible, the flesh around them rotted away.
The elk's movements were slow and deliberate, its head swaying as if in a trance. It walked directly towards us, its hollow eyes fixed on Sigyn. The closer it got, the more the stench of death filled the air—a nauseating mix of decay and earth. I fought the urge to retch.
Sigyn stood up, her expression calm. The monster sniffed her gently, its nostrils flaring. Without a word, she climbed onto its back, mounting it like a horse. It was a surreal and horrifying scene ripped straight from a nightmare.
As she settled onto the elk, she looked back at us, "A thief in the night shall reap what he sows," she said, her voice carrying an otherworldly echo. "Beware the price of stolen dreams."
With that, the beast turned and began to walk away, Sigyn riding it into the shadows of the forest. We stood there, frozen in place. The realization that we were in far over our heads began to sink in. This started to feel like a trap.
We need to get out of here," My voice trembling. "Now."
We turned to leave, our packs heavy with the pilfered goods. But as we took our first steps, the forest around us seemed to come alive. Shadows moved among the trees, and whispers floated on the wind. I quickened my pace, glancing nervously over my shoulder.
"Did you hear that?" Noah asked sharply,
"Just keep moving," I commanded.
A figure emerged from the shadows, blocking our path. It was a man, tall and gaunt, his eyes burning with an intense light. "Where do you think you're going?" he asked, his voice cold and menacing.
"We're leaving," I stammered. "We didn't mean any harm."
The man smirked, and with a swift motion, he raised his hand. More figures appeared, closing in on us from all sides. We were surrounded.
"Run!" I shouted, shoving Noah forward.
We sprinted through the forest, branches whipping at our faces and legs. The figures pursued us, their footsteps silent and relentless.
Noah stumbled and fell, his pack spilling open. Statues scattered across the ground, glinting in the moonlight. "Help!" he cried, scrambling to gather the items.
"Leave them!" I shouted, pulling him to his feet. "We have to keep moving!"
But it was too late, their hands seizing us. I struggled, kicking and thrashing, but their grips were too strong. They forced us to the ground, binding our hands with rough, coarse ropes.
"Please," I begged, "Don't hurt us."
The man who had first appeared stepped forward, his eyes gleaming with amusement. "A thief in the night," he mocked.
They dragged us through the forest, the trees closing in around us like a cage. We were at their mercy.
In the distance, I could see the elk standing at the edge of the clearing, Sigyn still astride its back. Her eyes met mine, and for a moment, I thought I saw a flicker of pity. But then they turned away, disappearing into the shadows once more.
We were dragged into the heart of the forest, our struggles futile against the unyielding grip of our captors. As we broke through the treeline, a massive bonfire came into view, its flames licking the night sky. Shadows danced around the clearing, cast by the flickering light. A woman stood at the forefront, her presence commanding.
Her eyes were milk white, devoid of pupils, and her long, flowing white hair cascaded down her back. She was completely naked, her skin pale and marked with intricate symbols. Atop her head, she wore an elk skull, its antlers extending like eerie, skeletal fingers. She beat a drum emblazoned with more of the same cryptic symbols, each thud resonating deep within my chest.
Around the fire, about two dozen people stood, all drinking from crude, horned cups. Their faces were solemn, eyes fixed on the woman as she led them in a haunting chant. The atmosphere was thick with a mix of reverence and intoxication.
We were forced to our knees before the woman, who paused her drumming to look down at us. Her gaze was haunting, as if she could see into the very depths of our souls.
"Who are you?" Noah demanded, his voice trembling.
The woman ignored him, raising her arms to the sky. The chanting grew louder, the rhythm of the drum faster and more frenzied. The air around us seemed to vibrate with energy, the flames of the bonfire growing higher and more intense.
I glanced at Noah, fear mirrored in his eyes. The woman began to speak, her voice low and melodic, but filled with power, in a language I couldn't understand. Suddenly, she stopped, lowering her arms. The chanting ceased, and an silence fell over the clearing. She looked directly at me, her white eyes unblinking.
En tjuv i natten skördar vad han sår, akta dig för drömmar som du stjäl och får.
Hans skratt bevakar lundens gömda stig, där skuggor sveper över skogens liv.
För varje stulet andetag och svek, måste en tjuv möta sitt smärtsamma ödelek.
Tricksterns vilja, vår ande här, så i hans nåd, våra liv bär.
I was terrified and confused. She started again, softer, in a way I could understand.
A thief in the night shall reap what he sows, beware the price of stolen dreams.
His laughter guards our hidden groves, where shadows cloak the forest's seams.
For every stolen breath and lie, a thief must meet his painful end.
The tricksters will, our spirits tie, so in his grace, our lives suspend.
The crowd surged forward, grabbing Noah first. He screamed, his terror echoing through the trees as they pulled him towards a makeshift altar beside the bonfire. The woman chanted louder, her voice rising in a hypnotic rhythm as they began their gruesome work.
They stripped him of his shirt and bound his arms to a wooden frame. I tried to move, to help him, but the grip on my shoulders tightened, pinning me to the ground.
The woman approached Noah, holding a knife with a blade that gleamed in the firelight. She started to slice into his back, her movements deliberate and unhurried. Noah's screams pierced the night as she methodically carved the shape of wings into his flesh.
Blood poured from the wounds, soaking the ground beneath him. The crowd's chant grew louder, almost drowning out his cries. I watched in horror as the woman reached into the incisions, breaking the ribs and pulling them outward, creating a parody of wings.
Noah's agony was unbearable to witness. His screams turned to whimpers, his body convulsing in pain. The woman didn't stop until the work was complete, his lungs exposed and hanging grotesquely from his back.
They lifted Noah's broken body and placed him over the fire. The smell of burning flesh filled the air, making me gag. His life ebbed away as the flames consumed him, the once vibrant light in his eyes fading to nothing.
The woman turned to me, her expression devoid of mercy. "You will meet the same fate," she said, "He demands it."
The smell of burning flesh and the sight of his broken body over the fire was seared into my mind. Despair settled over me as I closed my eyes.
A deafening blast shattered the night. My eyes flew open to see the shaman stumbling backward, a gaping wound in her chest. She collapsed to the ground, her white eyes staring lifelessly into the void.
The villagers turned in shock as another shot rang out, this time hitting one of the men holding me. I twisted free from their grasp and saw the park ranger standing at the edge of the clearing, a pump-action shotgun in his hands. He fired again, the sound echoing through the forest, before one of them tackled him to the ground.
"Run!" he shouted, his voice raw and desperate. "Get the hell out of here!"
I didn't need to be told twice. I sprinted into the darkness, the chaos of the clearing fading behind me. Branches whipped at my face, and the snow underfoot made every step a struggle. I could hear the sounds of fighting and gunshots, but I forced myself to keep moving.
The cold air burned in my lungs, but adrenaline pushed me forward. I didn't stop until I reached the station, my legs threatening to give out from under me. I burst through the door and slammed it behind me.
Inside, Carl lay where we had left him, his face pale and twisted in pain. I stumbled to the radio, my hands trembling as I fumbled with the controls.
"Mayday, mayday!" I yelled into the microphone. "This is an emergency! We need help! Please, someone, come quickly!"
Static filled the room, punctuated by my ragged breaths. I repeated the call, my voice growing more frantic with each passing second. Finally, a voice crackled through the speaker. "This is Ranger Station Bravo. What's your location? Over."
I could barely form the words. "Olympic National Park! The ranger station near mount Christie! We're under attack! Please, send help!"
"Copy that. Help is on the way. Stay put and stay safe. Over."
I collapsed to the floor, my body trembling with exhaustion and fear. Carl moaned softly, his eyes fluttering open. "What… What happened? Where's Noah?”
Tears streamed down my face and I found myself choked up. “He’s gone, man. Help is coming.”
The minutes stretched into an eternity as we waited. The wind howled around the station, and every creak and groan of the structure set my nerves on edge. I couldn't shake the feeling that we were being watched, that the forest itself was closing in on us.
The radio crackled again, this time with a different voice. "Helicopter en route, ETA fifteen minutes. Prepare for extraction."
I glanced at Carl, his eyes filled with confusion. "Hang on. We're getting out of here."
As the minutes ticked by, I couldn't help but think about the ranger. He had saved my life, but he hadn't made it back. My mind conjured up images of what might have happened to him, the cultists overwhelming him in the darkness. A sense of guilt gnawed at me, knowing he had sacrificed himself for us.
The sound of rotors cut through the night, growing louder as the helicopter approached. I ran to the window and saw its searchlight piercing the treetops, scanning for the station.
I helped Carl to his feet, supporting his weight as we made our way to the hatch. The helicopter hovered above, lowering a rescue basket. The wind from the rotors whipped the snow into a frenzy, but I didn't care. Salvation was finally here.
We secured Carl in the basket first, and I watched as he was hoisted up, disappearing into the safety of the helicopter. My turn was next. I realized that I was now alone and exposed. Fear coursing through me as I scanned around the edge of the forest, expecting to be grabbed and taken seconds before my rescue. But the moment never came. As I gripped the rope, I took one last look at the forest below. The flames of the bonfire still flickered in the distance.
I was lifted into the air, the ground falling away beneath me. The helicopter's crew pulled me inside, and I collapsed onto the floor still holding onto my pack, my body finally giving in to exhaustion. The doors closed, and the helicopter banked away, leaving the horrors of the park behind.
Weeks had passed since the harrowing events, but the memories clung to me like the bitter cold. I had returned to civilization, seeking solace in the familiar chaos of the city. I found a wealthy collector through a network of contacts. The artifacts fetched a price tenfold the cost of gear. The money was substantial, but as I held the cash, it felt like a hollow victory.
Noah's absence weighed heavily on me. His disappearance was chalked up as a missing persons case, and despite my best efforts to explain what had happened, no one believed me. The authorities conducted a search of the area, but they found no trace of the cult, the artifacts, or the clearing. It was as if the forest had swallowed up all the evidence.
I returned to the site where we had parked the truck. The dirt bikes were gone, stolen by opportunistic thieves, but the truck remained. I drove back in silence, the road winding through the dense forest. For a moment, I thought I saw the girl watching me from atop a ridge until I realized it was just paranoia. I stepped on the gas a little harder.
Back home, I checked the Tomb Raiders forum again. The post that had led us into the forest was gone, deleted without a trace. I messaged the mods, but apparently, they don’t keep records to maintain confidentiality. I wrote about our experience, detailing every terrifying moment, but the responses were skeptical at best. Most dismissed it as a work of fiction or a desperate cry for attention.
Time passed, and I tried to return to a semblance of normalcy. Yet, the wilderness called to me stronger than ever. It was my sanctuary, the only place where I could find peace amidst the turmoil. I spent more and more time outdoors than ever before, but now it always felt like I was just running from something.
Determined to prove what had happened, I returned to the forest with a camera and recording equipment. This time, I documented every step, capturing footage of the trees, the snow, and the eerie silence that hung in the air. I retraced our path, hoping to find the clearing again. But each night, as I reviewed the footage, something strange would happen. The files would be corrupted or entire segments missing.
I pressed on. I found the site where Noah had fallen, the ground still bearing faint traces of what had happened. I set up the camera and began to speak, recounting the events in detail. As I spoke, a cold wind swept through the clearing, and the camera's screen flickered. I finished my account and turned to check the recording, only to find the file corrupted once again, the footage replaced by static and a faint, mocking laughter.
I returned home, defeated and exhausted. My attempts to share what I had experienced were met with disbelief and ridicule. The files I managed to save were corrupted beyond recognition. It was as if the forest itself was conspiring against me.
Almost exactly one year later, as I browsed the forums, a new post caught my eye. It was cryptic, eerily similar to the one that had led us into the nightmare. It spoke of another trove of artifacts, hidden deep within the wilderness, waiting to be claimed.
The post was signed with a new name: Skygge. Different handle, same style. Another trap. They had taken so much from me, left scars that would never heal. I opened my drawer, my fingers brushing over the cold metal of my weapons. This was the moment I had been waiting for. This time, I'll be ready.
The forest’s secrets won't remain hidden forever.

Sorry for any mistakes. My english isn't good enough.
Background: Men with 23 years, no college formation yet.

Section 1

1. How do you work? Why do people go to work? Are there any parameters that determine whether you can do work or not? What are they?
   I work very slow. I don’t have problems working faster for a while, but if is too much starts to annoy me. We works humankind needs recurses to act and solve our existencial and material problems. But i can’t exclude other forces among work like capital, the human “progress”. The parameters for my work is something abstract, technological, creative and philosophical. I often like write about ideas, deal with machines and computers, reading about political philosophy. I have problems to get a job on those areas because i dont have iniciative to chase it.
   
2. How do you determine the quality of work? How do you determine the quality of a purchase? Do you pay any attention to it?
   I determine the quality of work if it brings expected results and seems organized. The same for a purchase. I don’t pay any attention for it, i just want may these things fulfill their role, whatever the cost.
   
3. There is a professional next to you. How do you know they are a professional? How do you evaluate their skill?
   

I would know he is a professional because he/she have a whole theorical and pratical (how to do) informations about something. Well informed, decisive, calm and chill, deeply in their knowledge.

1. If you struggle to do something, how do you fix that? Do you know if your performance is better or worse than others?

I fix that with research and studying about this problem. I also look for discussions and informations about some topic and after i could act or not about it. I guess is worse, in my mind is. But people often says compliments me about my work and proactive attitude.

1. How do you measure the success of a job? What standard do you use? Do you pay attention to it? When should you deviate from this standard?

I say is terrible. I dont like my job (i work with security in a airport). I really want to get out here because its not the area that i’m good for. I don’t have a standard here. I don’t pay any attetion for it.

Section 2

1. What is a whole? Can you identify its parts? Are the parts equivalent to the whole?

A whole is the sum of the partes. The parts its the delimited entities and can’t be the whole itself. Yes, they are equivalent to the whole.

1. What does "logical" mean? What is your understanding? Do you think that it correlates with the common view? How do you know you are being logical?

Logical means the correct way to think. In my understanding is no contradiction. No, people often confuse logical with opinions and feelings, they make appeals for common sense and call it logical. I dont’t mind being logical all time, i know logical its a tool for some subjects not whole life subjects. I rather being rational with evidences and good arguments of all types to speak.

1. What is hierarchy? Give examples of hierarchies. Do you need to follow it? Why or why not? Explain how hierarchy is used in a system you are familiar with.

Hierarchy is an “effective” way to organize most people in society, and its a good way to exploit at the same time. I dont need it, i work better for my own because i have a good vision of situations. Hierarchy its just a way to organize people with no imagination, inteligence or self control to works better and become “usefull” for society. Its a tool for efficience and control.

1. What is classification? How does classification work? Why is it needed and where is it applied? Give examples.

Classification is a way to agroup similar things or parts of the whole for better understanding. As a said before is for best understanding. In theorical subjects, but it can be used in any area or activitie to became easier. In socionics for an example: Too much categories (making me sleepy sometimes) but get easier to understand.

1. Are your ideas consistent? How do you know they are consistent? How do you spot inconsistency in others' ideas?

Yes i’m. Because i have evidences and observations to show and prove my point. Normally using logic, or evidences that can’t fit in their positions.

Section 3

1. Can you press people? What methods do you use? How does it happen?

No, i can’t. I just use arguments, ask polite to someone does something or giving advices. I just can’t feel comfortable doing this.

1. How do you get what you want? What do you do if you have to work to get what you want?

I prepare myself to get something, i plan in my head and think about the worse possibilities before. If i want a work i prepare myself, for an example i studied english a lot to get a better job in airport (i continue looking for an one new job).

1. How do you deal with opposition? What methods do you use to defend your interests?

I just became independent of them. I organize my life in a way i can’t be bothered by them. When i need to do, or defend my interests i just use argumentations and my polite nature to get it.

1. When do you think it's ok to occupy someone's space? Do you recognize it?

NO. GOD NO. I hate the idea of became annoy or occupy other’s space, because i hate it and i avoid people like this. Yes, i often knows when someone is occupying my space and avoid it as a hell.

1. Do others think you are a strong-willed person? Do you think you have a strong will?

No. Unfortunately i don’t. I don’t have a strong will. Because of that i feel myself stopped in life :’)

Section 4

1. How do you satisfy your physical senses? What examples can you give? What physical experiences are you drawn to?

I satisfy my pshysical sens with food, coffee and tea (too much) and video game. I drawn to video game and confortable experiences in my home. I dont get out there often.

1. How do you find harmony with your environment? How do you build a harmonious environment? What happens if this harmony is disturbed?

I don’t find it. My room is usually a mess. My harmony It’s disturbing when someone takes that relaxation away from me.

1. What does comfort mean to you? How do you create it? Comfort is where I can recharge my energy. That's basically my sofa and my bed.
   
2. How do you express yourself in your hobbies? How do you engage yourself with those things?
   

I express myself as very imaginative in my hobbies, like video-game and reading. When writing i usually make a lot of good and rational arguments from different sources.

1. Tell us how you'd design any room, house or an office. Do you do it yourself, or trust someone else to do it? Why?

I have never done something like this. But if i pay someone to do, i will ask for something classical like mafia office. I trust someones else because i do not have a good asthetic taste.

Section 5

1. Is it acceptable to express emotions in public? Give examples of inappropriate expression of emotions.

I don’t express my emotions and public and i usually see people who does that as inaprippriate. Examples of inappropriate expressions of emotions is: Crying or any reason, anger, happiness, and etc.

1. How do you express your emotions? Can you tell how your expressions affect others in a positive or negative way?

I’m very open with people i like or knows enough. I can be silly and laugh a bit. I don’t have any ideia about how i affect other people.

1. Are you able to change your demeanor in order to interact with your environment in a more or less suitable way? How do you determine what is suitable?

No i can’t. I’m very sloopy trying to be friendly so i usually don’t try. I don’t know. I think i don’t care about and this is it.

1. In what situations do you feel others' feelings? Can you give examples of when you wanted to improve the mood of others?

Just when someone being openly agressible with me. I usually dont mind to improve anyones mood, but when i do i try to cheer up a little people who i like with advices, or when i flirt with somone i like. Or when i know someones who faces problems with social skills like i had.

1. How do others' emotions affect you? How does your internal emotional state correlate or contrast with what you express?

Affect me when they’re judging me by their standards, or when annoying me to do something quick.

Section 6

1. How can you tell how much emotional space there is between yourself and others? How can you affect this space?

With most people i put a big distance. With people i like i’m very warm with hugs, kisses and stupidy jokes (not too much). I can deal greatly with this space.

1. How do you determine how much you like or dislike someone else? How does this affect your relationships?

Based on my conversations topics, and how openly and honest the person acts towards me. I don’t know it affect my relationship.

1. How do you move from a distant relationship to a close one? What are the distinguishing characteristics of a close relationship?

With conversations when we have na oportunity. They are often openly and social people, who carry on with serious and silly conversations with black humor included and also helps me when i need (rare)

1. How do you know that you are a moral person? Where do you draw your morality from? Do you believe others should share your beliefs on what's moral? Why?

I don’t know, i just have my beliefs and values but i dont think a lot about it. I dont know where it from. Yes, but only when the conversations shows na oportunity and never mix moral and rational subjects.

1. Someone you care about is acting distant to you. How do you know when this attitude is a reflection of your relationship?

I usually knows what i did for be treated like this. But if i dont, i think they doesnt have reasons for this so i just get myself away from. If they take iniciative to speak, i’ll be open to understand i say sorry.

Section 7

1. How can you tell someone has the potential to be a successful person? What qualities make a successful person and why?

Someone who have strong will, good theorical undestanding and pratical knowledge too. Because those skills i said, allows anyone to act in any area.

1. Where would you start when looking for a new hobby? How do you find new opportunities and how do you choose which would be best?

When i get depressive for doing not all day. So i start to look for something new. I make cost benefit analysis, and think about the long term benefits.

1. How do you interpret the following statement: "Ideas don't need to be feasible in order to be worthwhile." Do you agree or disagree, and why?

No. They need to be. If isn’it dont have any effect in real world so: whats the point?

1. Describe your thought process when relating the following ideas: swimming, chicken, sciences. Do you think that others would draw the same or different connections?

When i swim i just want to get some fun. Chicken is a good domesticated animal for humankind feed their stomachs. Science is the best way to achieve innovations and overcome all disaster that nature put on our paths.

1. How would you summarize the qualities that are essential to who you are? What kind of potential in you has yet to be actualized and why?

Good ones: Inteligent, good memory and associative thinking, very adaptable, very calm and chill, a good problem solver, no intrusive. Bad ones: Revanchist, very critic, relationship issues, arrogance, problem with rules and deadliness, burocratic issues. I hate daily life.

Section 8

1. How do people change? Can you describe how various events change people? Can others see those changes?

No they not change. The essence of people’s character never really change. People just change when they make a good self critic and its very hard sees someone who does that.

1. How do you feel and experience time? Can time be wasted? How? Yes. You can estimate how much time a task takes. You can plan how you wanna use your time. You can set deadlines for whatever you are doing. Time can be wasted on things you don't value because you can't gain back time.

Time is very important to me. I can see things very distant in my imagination but act abour this is hard. So i waste times often with relaxing times or doing activities out my plans. I dont set deadlines, i just know what i want to do and for how long to give the next step. I guess the absence of deadlines destroys my progress.

1. Is there anything that cannot be described with words? What is it? If so, how can we understand what it is if language does not work?

No it isnt exist. All things can be described by words instead being difficult to do.

1. How do you anticipate events unfolding? How can you observe such unfoldments in your environment?

I usually antecipate the worse possibilitie and act towards that to avoid it. I think if this worse never happen, i’ll be surprise for something godd and will be prepared for anything bad.

1. In what situations is timing important? How do you know the time is right to act? How do you feel about waiting for the right moment?

Every situation. We need to know how long you can waste time and when stop. Waiting for a rigth momment is important for not waste energy with bullshit. The right momment is always builded before.
I’ll be glad if all of you help me with yojr opinions. How much details, better .

Left my old job as a maintenance worker for a well known, old money church(also a non-profit), came here and got a base salary of 42k. Busted my ass for first year, and was promised by my boss ( my friend of 20+ years) that he'd get me what I want when the time came. I was looking for 52k and a title change since I am a 1 man operation of 2 buildings and a decent size property. I have the mechanical and technical experience of a maintenance worker for almost 7 years combined with other jobs, and working on getting certifications on the side to better myself here because I can see the potential for growth here.
Raise time comes around and the offer me a flat 50k and double the responsibilities compared to my first year. I look to my friend during this meeting and he does whatever he can to avoid eye contact so right there it shows me that 20 years of friendship means nothing and he is just my boss now. i talk to him afterwards letting him know how I felt about the situation, and he comes back with "Do you think we should still work together?" and "Use that anger to better yourself..." He doesn't know it, but now i fully look at him as boss, friendship is meant to lift each other up and better each other as best we can as I was taught but yeah it sucks but need to cut those kind of people out of my life now that I am actively watching and noting his narcissistic tendencies and manipulation tactics first hand as a director here. didn't see them or even care to acknowledge them growing up with him.
So I begin focus on myself (been practicing Stoicism and it has helped me a lot both physically and mentally) by getting better acquainted with my building, teaching staff, everyone's needs, and professional development (certifications) . I'm actively getting noticed busting my ass and doing things that need to get done. I'm even taking on the responsibilities of the new role before the contract even begins which will be in July. I talk to him again about with all the upcoming work that's going to happen during the summer ( total renovation of a few rooms, new infrastructure and security implementations, basically getting this place where it needs to be aesthetically and financially) that come raise time I'm going to come prepared this time to get what I deserve. he said i can get you 52.5.... this man and one other person make well over 150k a year by the way. I said that won't do and when it comes time ill be looking closer to 60.
After that long introduction and backstory of some grievances, what do you guys think? Should I stick it out or run? I do love it here only because my coworkers are saints and I'm doing it for the betterment of the kids. I've always been a nice person but have never put myself first,. I've been actively doing that now and I can tell my boss notices it and knows he can't control me like he once could when we were younger. I see through his bullshit. I'm at a crossroads with him as a friend, he did get me to my current location and out of a bad spot a few years back, but then again he was looking for a job to fill at my previous employer which he was also my boss at. So it doesn't look like its a win/win situation for both of us which is what I was hoping it would turn out to be. Any tips/recommendations would be great. If this post is not allowed here I will delete it. Thank you for reading this and your time.

I'm a cyberpunk author. I'm also a very huge fan of the cyberpunk subgenre. It's my favorite subgenre of science fiction. Recently, though, I've been seeing people misinterpreting what it means. I think this is a shame given that it's such a genius concept. Most of the time it's people who focus the cyber part and assume it's supposed to be a futuristic take on noir, which is forgivable. Then there's the people who focus on the punk part. The thing is that the "punk" is cyberpunk has completely changed meanings since the subgenre's birth back in the 1980s.
Back when cyberpunk was coined, the term punk still meant low life. It's the reason why cyberpunk is often described as high tech and low life. It was about how rapid technological progress broke down the social order faster than people could adapt, resulting in a ton of degenerate behavior. Many cyberpunk protagonists from the golden age were either criminals, or get this, even cops. There's even an anime that does both by having criminals work for the police in exchange for less time on their sentences. I knew something was wrong about the discourse around cyberpunk when Ghost in the Shell wasn't considered cyberpunk because it's about cops.
This has now changed. With the term punk being reclaimed by yet another wave of counterculture, the left has conflated its current meaning with its usage in cyberpunk. These people think that cyberpunk must always be about rebelling against the current order. It's usually mixed with anticapitalism, which for most leftists, is just a scapegoat they use to describe anything about the human condition that they dislike. Apparently, the exploitation of workers, greed, and corrupt business practices were only invented during the Industrial Revolution.
I've also seen the left try and paint cyberpunk as something that's incredibly nihilistic. Most lefitst who co-opt cyberpunk are really only familiar with Mike Pondsmith's Cyberpunk universe, which I personally think is hot garbage compared to any other cyberpunk franchise. Cyberpunk 2077 had like six different endings and they all make contrived reasons for why V has to have a bad ending. If you actually go back and consume most of the classics, they tend to have outright happy if not bittersweet endings. Cyberpunk is a cautionary tale, yes, but to say that there's no hope if we do go down that path is doomerism. All dystopias eventually collapse under their own weight.
As long as a story is about technological progress juxtaposed with dystopian elements, it's cyberpunk. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

I'm looking for players that love to participate in roleplay. There's a fair amount of action, but I mostly focus all my energy on boss fights. This is NOT a beginner's campaign. This is only because I myself do not have the ability to teach the system since I'm a very free form when it comes to dnd. And I feel teaching someone would take too much of my time already. The only reason why I did 18 plus is I don't want to censor my game for some 16 year old that happens to live in Florida. Or for me to deal with any pedos I happen to accidentally pick up from the application process. We will be using roll20 and Discord to run it. So be prepped for that. And games will be weekly at 2pm EST on Wednesday. With this campaign, expect the setting to be a mix of Treasure Planet, a dash of Star Wars, and Star Trek for flavor. Then finally a hint of Call of Chathulu.
Here's some setting lore:
The year is 835. The war between the Astral Alliance and the Giff Empire had just started settling. And the Intergalactic Tribunal. A sort of United Systems government meant to unify the galaxy. While wars and inner conflicts are starting to mysteriously erupt in the star systems across the Re'alms Galaxy. Most pirates and common men say the tensions between each other are starting to rise once more. From the darkest corner of the universe, Translvata. Where Lupins and Vampire pirates are in constant conflict. To the ever-bright L'ong Nagaa, the birthplace of dragon kind, and for pirating. Xaryxispace, the cradle for the astral elves. Even the ever-untouched system of Exandria is on the very edge of a full-blown war. Doomspace is as doomed as ever... The only clue to some of this archaic chaos lies on Earth. A Planet far beyond the Re'alms Galaxy that seems to be close to being swallowed up by the mysterious darkness beyond known space... Earth. A system that many scholars and scientists theorize as a prophecy. That once earth is swallowed up by an encroaching darkness. It will make its way to our galaxy to destroy it... Will this group of adventurers save the Universe?! Or will it be consumed like all the rest...
And here are some small notes to keep in mind for what happened to our party already. Only so if you're already antsy to join and want to make a character.

• The Earth was fucking EXPLODED by the Illithid Empire. When the party tried to flee they got captured by one of the Mother ships. Thankfully they are saved by Adda Crawford and a wizard who was later found dead. The same planet they crash landed on and later escaped.
• Once leaving the planet. the party is confronted by Xaryxis Empire Police(Astral Elf Empire). They are brought to the Imperial Citadel before the Empress. Upon recognizing the party, and hearing their story. She realizes drastic measures must be taken. She then explains that a scientist by the name of Professor Ishmael Bulter has been researching how the Illithid Empire and their patron had been repelled 800 years previously. And the shrines he had been researching have something to do with it.
• Once they do show up in Doomed Space. The Professor reveals that shrines all across the galaxy do indeed have something to do with how the galaxy survived 800 years ago. To solve the puzzle to activate the shrine, that party is sent to a church nearby where the local villagers were acting sus. Guards keep them from going inside the church. Saying they'll need a special key for a guitarist named Don Von Mcron. Once they obtained the key and defeated the cultists. The party had then met face to face with I'quar Vara's avatar. (Mindflyer queen and goddess). Did some shady goddess shit before pulling the avatar back into the Far Realms through a portal.
• One shrine down, four more to go. The party heads for L'ong Nagaa. The Ancestral home for dragon kind and Space Piracy. The players find out about a race and join it. Solar Dragon attacks them. (ooooo~) After the race, winning the prize money. The player's are summoned by the Pirate Queen, Docar the Impish. She explains that the dragon's weren't support to be attacking mortal ships like that. And the missing 'Grand Caretaker' was supposed to keep the balance between the Lunar and Solar dragon queens that live in the solar system. The players are then ordered to find where this Grand Caretaker last was, with the Lunar Dragon Queen, Grand Madam Chandarma. They discover the Caretaker fucking DIED and a batch of eggs that were to hatch soon, destroyed. Grand Madam Chandarma explains that her prize egg was stolen. And she suspects the Solar Queen to have something to do with it. So in order to reach the sun where the nest in located, they must obtain upgrades for they're ship and for space suits. However on the way to Fort Greyskull (Where the shops that sell the items)... They come across some new companion. And the great battle between man and mule takes place... (ask me about it, kinda funny)
• After getting the tech they need, they went to turn in the body of the Grand Caretaker to the temple of other monks. One of the spiritual leaders insists that the party visits the sun of the system to stop the Mindflyer General. They settle a payment and they head over. Once they're over at the sun they discover that the nest is in fact. Inside the sun itself. Once they make through the hot webbed plasma labyrinth, the ancient solar brood mother is facing off aginst the Mindflyer General and her forces. A villainous monolauge and a boss battle later. They defeat the Mindflyer General by destroying the mother brain on her ship.
• With two shrines down, they touch base with the Xerxian Empress to touch base, and to also turn in the Mindflyer General's skeleton. (Turns out she used to be her daughter before she was a mindflyer). And with a creepy encounter and some foreshadowing. The players have now arrived in the United Empire of Bestellia. Where the party is about to be arrested and put to trial...

Anyway, the sign-up process is the same as usual. Fill out an application with the google forms link below, then I reach out on discord for an interview call to see if you're a good fit for the party. I'm looking for just one person this time around. But if you don't get accepted the first time around, I will add a list of cool folks I'll reach out to first if anyone else drops the group.
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1wsQ024HPJOuxICH_MJf0LG6IVz2u1WRNWkpYuPChVlQ/edit#response=ACYDBNjcmhPjYrBW-1qbK2RWtU2Lup99jjx581PHvyhKFr3y_4I2IEobnqtoZqfVEigXtb0
And I'll message anyone who applied from Graysondagent#4911 or from graysondagent (I still don't get if I still need to use the numbers or not so bear with me.) So DON'T reach out to me first unless you have applied. I will not awnser your request if you do

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I was at a disadvantage before, looking around in unknown territory, but here? This is my house. My country. My library! I have walked around these halls so many times that I have a pretty good mental map of where everything is. Considering the most requested academic tomes are under the protection of the Librarian, I go investigate the shelves on the first floor, where you find mostly reference books.

All this confidence I managed to build up disappears the instant I notice there’s a group of students in the lodges to the side of the hall, just minding their own business. My throat dries up, my knees shake a little bit.

Saints damn it, why aren’t you all on vacation!?

And they are sitting right on my way, between me and the shelves. I am sure the symbol has to be on the shelves…

“Time to turn tail and run, like always.”

“You can do it. Take a deep breath, look straight onwards and walk!”

Taking her advice, I do my best to not look at ANYTHING and just go straight as an ant to the shelves.

“Wait. What if any of them say hi? Oh no. Uhm. Take a quick look! But make it super, super quick!”

Damn it.

My eyes slowly turn to the left as I am walking. Are they looking at me? Did they look at me? WILL they look at me? They don’t seem to even notice me. Should I call for their attention? Should I say hi? I don’t even know them, that would be weird. But what if I do know them and I just don’t remember? There’s lots of law students around, maybe they are law students? I can’t see their books from this distance, maybe I need glasses. Would glasses make me look unassuming? I wish people didn’t look at me…

Eventually I reach the shelves without exchanging a single word with these people. I really, really hope I didn’t look like a nervous wreck while walking by, but I guess there isn’t much I can do about that now, can I? Ugh, I can barely focus as I start looking on the shelf itself, trying to find anything out of the ordinary…

“You’re nervous when there’s a lot of people, and you’re nervous when there’s few people. What will it take for you to be happy about something, huh!? Tiresome bitch…”

I sigh loudly. I left my S.O.S. at home, so I can’t really get rid of these voices tonight… I’ll have to brave them.

“It will be a hard time… but you can do it.”

Taking a deep breath, I continue trying to focus on finding that damn ‘golden symbol’ around the shelves, even taking out a few suspiciously out of place books, just to check if the symbol could be carved on the back of the shelf or something…

Nothing.

I spend a good long hour checking each shelf on the first floor as methodically as my body allows… before I know it, I have given up on everything and am sitting on a bean couch at the main hall, letting my eyes close slowly…

… When I open them again, I practically jump out of my chair.

Did I just fall asleep!?

“Oh boy.”

I pick up my phone to check… It's 2 in the morning.

“Oh boy! Who could have guessed things would go wrong, huh?”

I can still feel the sleepiness in my limbs, my eyelids feel so heavy. Saints, help your poor servant!

The lights feel so vibrant here, so annoying and white. I can practically hear them buzz… but then, I notice something else. The smell of decent coffee, recently brewed. I look around, quickly finding the librarian at her desk, serving cups of coffee to the group I saw… I think of going over and taking one but that would probably imply conversation. And I am not ready for conversation! I—

“Oi! You finally woke up!” The librarian catches me instantly with a knowing smirk. “Want a cuppa?”

I freeze. For a moment I think: ‘hey, let’s pretend I didn’t hear her!’, but I don’t have my headphones on and I made eye contact. I am trapped, TRAPPED.

“M-Mhm.” I manage to whimper, nodding my head quickly.

“Then come over, don’t be shy. We’re all night owls here.”

There is a sense of community there that’s quite alluring, but the curious looks of that group of students really feel like cold daggers on my chest. Still, I gather all my courage and robotically walk over to the group, taking a styrofoam cup, and then watching the woman fill it up slowly with coffee as black as my soul. Just like I like it… just with a hint of sugar, though.

“So you finally came around again. I was wondering what happened to you.” The old lady looked at me, knowingly.

“You… you recognize me?” I can’t help but feel a mixture of happiness and abject horror mounting on my back.

“My child, I recognize every single person who comes to my library! I know them all, believe it or not! Including these rascals over here.”

The others laughed. I just looked at my coffee while mixing a teaspoon of sugar in it. She’s probably joking, right? I mean… there’s no way she actually memorizes every visitor, right?

“Maybe she’s a witch.”

Knowing what I know now? I wouldn’t be surprised. I just take a sip of my coffee.

“You’re not here to study for the special tests, are you?” The lady again read me like a saints’ damned book. “You’re looking for something special.”

“It’s nothing that ominous.” I quickly cover. “I am just looking for a particular book, but I am not sure where I could find it in the library.”

“Why not ask for help? I am right here, precisely for that!” The Librarian puffed up her chest. “If I don’t get anything to do, I get bored.”

“Ah, well, you see…” I start getting nervous again. I can’t just tell her the truth! What if I slip and this woman turns out to be a cloak testing me? Or worse, a sleeper! I am quite sure the whole ‘Secret of magic’ is a very serious matter! I could get her and myself in a big pickle!

The woman seems to notice my distress… and instead of trying to reassure me, the damn crone just goes and says:

“Is it poooorn you’re after, boy?~”

Saints help me.

The others are laughing and looking at me all smiley, why!? Why must this lady put me in a situation like this!?

“T-There’s the internet for stuff like that!” I blurt without thinking. “I mean! Ah! Damn it!”

More laughs. At this point my face must be lighting up red and radiating hotter than active uranium.

“I. Can’t. It’s a symbol!”

“A symbol?” One of the other students tilted his head with curiosity. “What kind of symbol? Are we talking chemical or arcane?”

“Nerd spotted. You’re among comrades here, breathe easy.”

It’s hard to breathe easy when people are actively laughing at me, saints damn it!

“It… symbolizes gold.” I finally relented. “I am not sure which one of the many, many interpretations it could be. I thought of the alchemical symbol for gold, or a Sun, who knows…”

“That’s a little vague.” The student said, frowning a little bit and rubbing the back of his neck. “The symbol is in the book? Like, on the cover?”

What am I even supposed to answer to that!?

“I. Think?”

“Well.” The Librarian recovers the reigns of the conversation with a grin. “If that thing you are looking for isn’t here? It may be a literature tome. You know, on the second floor.”

“Y-Yeah…” I sigh. This whole conversation has just been so stressful.

“Well! It could be the Golden Ratio!” One of the girls says. “You know the Golden Ratio?”

“Isn’t that the whole shell inside a rectangle thing?” I blink.

“Yeah! They use the helenian letter ‘phi’ to represent it.”

The girl is nice enough to draw it for me…

Phi
I stare at the symbol on the paper for a moment. That’s… actually useful. And it does make sense! It could be this! Suddenly inspired, I stand right up and finish what’s left from my coffee in one gulp, not even caring that it burns my damn throat as I do so.

“Okay, this works. Thank you!” Without even feeling the anxiety attack me again, I bow my head and turn around to go right for the stairs!


When Tav had turned around and moved out, the Leader of the Coven looked at her young apprentice with a frown, shaking her finger slowly at the girl.

“You shouldn’t be so obvious with your hints, young girl.” The woman shook her head softly. “We could have had fun with her for at least another hour!”

“I didn’t feel like being cruel today.” The apprentice said with a sleepy grin, while some of the others ruffled her hair and called her a ‘softie’. “The Bastard needs a way to learn! And it would be sad to see the Overseer waiting for another night…”


I rush past the empty reception desk on the second floor, joging without even caring about the ‘No Running’ rule as I go head first into the wooden shelves of the literature section. And it doesn’t even take me that many attempts to finally see something: a symbol carved on the wooden side of one of the shelves.

Phi. Lower case. Small enough to not be disruptive, but big enough to be noticeable.

My eyes widen, and I immediately approach the symbol with awe invading my body. I don’t even dare to touch it at first, that’s how big my excitement is! Whatever does this mean!? Is this whole building the Elysium? Or just the second floor? Isn’t this place way too public for what they mean to do?

Finally giving up on trying to be cautious, I just touch the symbol. For a moment nothing happens, and I feel the panic starting to take over again.

“Trust the process, maybe it takes a moment!”

I keep my finger pressed on the carved symbol for a moment, taking slow, deep breaths as I try to keep myself from going into a saints damned anxiety attack. But then, something does happen. Octarine, that strange colour, starts filtering from my very veins and into the symbol, filling in the carving before flowing on the air like a river of vibrant purple-green. It advances in front of my eyes, dancing and spiraling before flowing deeper into the library.

“What…?”

“What are you waiting for!?”

“Follow it!”

I don’t have to tell myself twice! My legs don’t have the energy to keep running, but the colour is not flowing super fast, so I can just walk behind it until it reaches an empty wall on the deepest side of the second floor. I put my hand against it and push slightly, this time trying to cause the flow myself! My excitement knows no bounds when the colours flow from my forearm to my palm, and then spread on the wall like vines growing in all directions.

“Idiot! What if someone can see you!?”

Biting my lower lip, I quickly turn around. No one followed me, good! I can focus again on the wall, or in this case the lack of it: where there was a wall now there’s an entrance, a black hole just waiting for me to jump in. With a sigh, I decide to ignore my anxieties and just go into the darkness, being quickly surrounded by it as the wall quickly appears again behind me.

It takes a moment for my eyes to get used to the room, but when they do the way is clear: a spiral stairway going up.

“More stairs… why do people here love their stairs!?”

With a frustrated grumble, I take a step on the stairs, only for them to start moving on their own. Huh. Now that’s convenient! I just let them take me higher and higher, without even questioning how they move without mechanisms or electricity. Magic is just Like That™.

It doesn’t take long until the light hits me: a faint, gentle blue light, like a beautiful night sky. My observation proves right on the money, for what I find on top of the stairway is a tremendous planetarium: a dome of darkness with distant white lights showing the spectacle of the stars right above us.

There are some tables and chairs around, some bookshelves too… and sitting on one of them, was the specter of someone I know. The figure of a certain book vendor.

Miss Pelafina gently brushed some of her dyed black hair behind her ear to look at me with a mocking grin.

“Took you long enough, didn’t it? Kid.”

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