Hot dirty text messages

I (23F) have been dating 25M for 10 months now. I am so scared I am going to sabotage this relationship because of my insecurities. I am just comparing myself endlessly with his ex-gf and his ex-FWB.. There are multiple things that bother me, I''ll try to list them:
It’s almost like I want to make myself feel anxious and insecure. Information, pictures or texts that I've found through lurking (which I try to stop doing) hurts my feelings but have burned themselves into my head. (1) For example, the summer we started dating he was frequently liking his ex-FWB pictures on IG - some revealing, some not - last one he liked was from a couple of months back, a very revealing one where she had taken a picture from above, angle looking into her tanktop, her tongue was out, nipple piercings visable through her shirt, very suggestive. Him liking provocative pictures of a woman he used to have sex with makes me uncomfortable. He hasn't done it for months now, but I fear it could return around summer when she wears revealing outfits again.
(2) I've also recently realized in a group chat with his friends he added me to, you can look back at messages before you were in the GC. That led me to look way back and see some things from months before we started dating, that still bothers me. Messages about his ex-FWB, how hot she is, how hot it is that she is a masochist (I'm not one), etc. I even saw pictures he had shared in the GC of many, many nudes she had sent him and pictures he took while they were having sex, in many different positions (with her consent, she's into it). It bothers me it looks to be using the same BDSM equipment he uses on me, the same positions he likes me in, etc. It makes me paranoid he's thinking about her when he's having sex with me. From the pictures it was apparent she is more sexually confident than I am, which makes sense given she has a much bigger sexual history than I do, he only just took my virginity, but still, it makes me scared he wishes I was more like her. This thoughts show up in my head almost any time we do anything sexual together, it's horrible and obviously makes it very hard to be fully there and enjoy it
(3) I also saw a message he sent in the GC 8 days after him and I had met: “I asked \ex-fwb* if she wanted to fuck just now, she's online she’s ignoring me lol”.* This was 8 days after we met, 8 days after he sent a message to that same GC about how he met a cute girl and he thinks that she likes him (me). We weren't official, didn't become so until 5 days after he sent that ex-fwb message, but still, it kind of hurts he wishes to hook up with her once more even after we had met, we had had our first date at that point. Especially also because he has told me multiple times that having sex with her reassured him that sex just as a means to get off wasn't for him, and that it was the emotional intimacy that made it important to him, he said he didn’t even enjoy it, wasn’t even attracted to her body type, etc…. yet he wanted to do it again? I fear he lied to me.
(4) There were also some messages from the past about his ex. He send various different texts various different occasions about how he loves how extremely outgoing and sociable she is and that they can have such intelligent discussions. I feel like him and I never discuss things back and forth. I also am very, very much the opposite of "sociable", I am very quiet and subdued, I like to observe more than anything and talking to strangers makes me nervous. He also send a comment about how his ex, at the time when they were dating, had "perfect big boobs", which makes me insecure since mine are much more on the smaller side.
This is me being insecure. I am aware of that, fully. I want to fix it. I am in queue for therapy, but for now I’m doing my best with what I can do. It is absolutely exhausting, the way everything makes me second guess myself. I've never felt as insecure as I do now. I've considered breaking up multiple times, even though I love him and really can see myself having a family with him in the future, just because it is so draining and I feel much more insecure now than I ever did before we were dating. The little insecurity that I do show him willingly, he will go on to reassure me a ton.. he's very loving, supportive and reassuring that he loves me for how I am, he's called me more attractive, trustworthy, more compatible, etc, that any girl he had a relationship with before, so it's not as if he is trying to make me insecure or anything. It's all in my head. How do I improve from this? ANY advice appreciated x

Despite Kelly’s early internet song and her shoes, I strongly disagree. I’ve been stuck in bed with a cold, and watching too much Dateline. So many murders occur when a woman tries to leave her partner.
Trust your gut, and if you have any sort of feeling a guy may harm you, take as many steps as you can to assure a safe breakup. Bring a friend, do it in public, send a text. It’s not cowardly, it’s self preservation.
I look back at my last relationship, he got wasted and started texting awful things, so I responded via text saying we’re done. I felt like I took the easy way out. But if I had let him into my house to have “the talk” there’s a good chance I’d be one of these episodes. Stay safe out there.

I (34 F) have this friend of 5 years (51 M) and we’ve been through a lot together. It’s important to note that we have dated off and on, at times just being FWB, and generally our relationship is muddied by being a sort of complicated situationship. But I let him know I’d rather just be friends, because his requirements for a gf are just too high, and imo both our lives are too unstable, and we fight too much (I’ve barely ever gotten into actual fights before I met him).
Earlier this year I moved a few hours away to a very remote place. It’s basically off the grid and due to a natural disaster, residents literally have to take a scheduled convoy just to get in or out of our home. There’s also no phone service there, however there is wi-fi. But the Wi-Fi does not reach my residence so if I need to text or use the internet I must walk through the woods to the community area. It was difficult at first but I’m used to it now, and actually benefit from limited tech access.
At first my friend seemed to understand these restraints, and knew I’d be in contact less often. Even so, I’m pretty good about messaging him daily.
Last Saturday I was able to call him on the phone, and we had a great conversation that lasted maybe 3 hours before we went to sleep. The next day I woke up and got to work. While I’m working I go in and out of the Wi-Fi area so occasionally check my phone but can’t always respond to whatever. I guess he texted me good morning, and I must have opened it bc he said it was on “read” since the morning, but I honestly forgot and kept going about my work day. I then crashed a few hours at home.
When I finally sent him a message back that evening he was PISSED at me. He said if I couldn’t even respond to one message, then I’m a shit friend and don’t care about him. I said that’s ridiculous because we just spoke for 3 hours the night before. He said leaving him on read was purposefully ignoring him and he deserves better from me. He said it makes me cold and petty, and this is not what a functional friendship looks like. I told him he’s not my boyfriend, and frankly I don’t owe him daily contact, but even then I talk to him like 10x more than anyone else in my life. He responded that our situation is “different” and he gets hurt when I take “forever” to get back. He also tried saying it’s a safety thing, that I could be dead or hurt, but I mean, not even my own mother needs me to check in that much, and it’s not like he lives close enough to help in an emergency.
Now he’s making it a deal breaker and says we might as well not be friends at all if I’m acting this way and not apologizing. Am I crazy for believing I did nothing wrong? I feel like he’s gaslighting me into thinking real friends must immediately respond all the time, even with clear restraints. I had no ill intentions, I was just distracted. I’m not going to apologize for that. I know people might say he’s trying to blur the lines between a relationship and friendship, which is true but I also treasure him as a friend and he’s been there for me through rough times. He has a history of needing to be right btw, and he has a few former friends who have labeled him a narcissist, though I wouldn’t go that far. I just want to make sure I’m not actually the wrong one here?

(link to app intentionally excluded per self-promotion policies, this isn't that kind of post)
I often find that my voice is faster than my typing, but I've been really frustrated with Siri/Apple's transcriptions and a few of the other products on the market felt overbuilt for my exact workflow: say something to put it into copyable text on my desktop. This was built in the most minimal way possible for that outcome - you log in, record a voice note, get a transcription. To make it a little more useful, I wanted to add summarization, grammatical formatting, and translation.
The problem? I don’t know how to code. I have only built one website ever in my life (also via LLM coding). I write SQL for my day job, but am familiar with Replit and some technical aspects of web development, but I have never formally learned to code. This was an experiment in trying to test the boundaries of LLMs, and it gave me a great lens into the near future of better LLMs and coding tools.
How I built this:
This started when I saw an open-source app drop on Twitter (NotesGPT) - I liked the app, but I hated the action items workflow and thought it was a little clunky. Then, I wondered if I could create something of my own to play with. So I of course went to chatGPT and asked how. The very short summary:

• Import the existing open source project (https://github.com/Nutlope/notesGPT) into Replit (I had to ask ChatGPT how, but its basically a shell command -- go from there)
• Follow the steps in the ReadMe: https://github.com/Nutlope/notesGPT?tab=readme-ov-file#deploy-your-own
• Create a list of the changes that I wanted to make, and move down the checklist one frustrating step at a time
  • I started with frontend edits of text, color, etc
  • Backend changes were harder - I learned a ton by copy/pasting documentation to parse it for me

In the backend, it is using

• Clerk for Authentication
• Convex for the backend
• Replit for hosting,
• NextJS with Tailwind for the language
• Together and Replicate for LLM API calls to:
  • IncrediblyFastWhisper for the transcription
  • Mixtral for title, summarization, and translation

I checked the number of versions of files, and I made somewhere over 500 deploys to get to the final product - it was a lot of nights/weekends hacking.
What I learned
I would say this experiment was successful for the intended purpose of being able to create an app I really wanted and we are at the frontier of non technical people being able to unlock programming/life customization in a way that I hadn't realized before. A few specific observations:

1. End to end building is empowering -- Knowing the core architecture here of how Auth providing some service, I am pretty confident I can self-build an MVP of most the other app ideas I’ve had. I am not trying to be an expert, but this unlocks a new way of thinking for me as I’ve run into problems and I now see the power of being a developer in a way I haven’t before - an end to
2. this took me about a month of free time - probably 20-30 hours of nights/weekend work? Might have taken me a shorter time period if I had setup a local chat with APIs instead of running into usage limits, but it was helpful to have breaks forced upon me
3. Claude Opus launching largely enabled this project to be possible and is clearly a technical step forward with LLMs - chatGPT 4 had been struggling, and regularly re-wrote major pieces of the code. GPT-4-Turbo launched in ChatGPT and that was a noticable improvement in reasoning, but still lazy on writing full blocks of code (which I needed to be able to edit what I wanted. ). Right before wrapping up, ChatGPT4o came out and I can definitively say Claude is still better at Coding
4. Claude also has way better UX for regular use - fastesmoother. But the web limits on messages sucked
5. The things LLM struggled with the most was frontend <> backend connection. When just doing things in either, it excelleced (frontend was probably more straightforward / more available training data, so it was almost 100% accurate vs backend hitting typescript errors regularly)
6. This may seem simple, but I had no idea how approachable it is to actually purchase a domain and put up a website. I assumed there was some alchemy, but it turns out its just putting the right variables in the right tools and it just works — the internet is awesome
7. The ecosystem of tools for this sort of thing is great right now - Replit + Together + Replicate + Clerk + Convex were all super easy to pick up as someone not that technical.
8. This cost in total $200 - about $100 for replit/claude/chatgpt subscriptions, most of the rest for domain. Marginal cost of hundreds of voice notes I tested with is closer to 0 than $0.01

To FG,
It’s been 9 years. You broke up with me 9 years ago. You left me for another guy and I did exactly what you wanted, I left you alone. I grieved the loss of our relationship, going from sharing everyday with you to never hearing from you was a void I couldn’t fill.
I exercised, I worked, I ran twice everyday hoping to see your car in my driveway. You never came. I left for college and at the end of my freshman year, you called me on Memorial Day weekend. Just to say you got the letter I mailed you after we broke up. But by then it had been a little over a year since the last I heard your voice.
I didn’t even have your contact saved, picking up was a courtesy in case someone from my home was trying to reach me. I entertained our talk, I fell in love with hope, but I knew you were gone and this wasn’t healthy. I made up an excuse to get off the phone. I didn’t hear from you that whole summer.
Then Christmas break of sophomore year, you wanted to get together. We met, ate lunch, you asked to spend the day together, you asked me to hold you, to hold your hand, and brought up our time together. At the end of the night, I asked you if you wanted to start over. We were different people, we weren’t who we were. You said no but you wanted me back in your life. We texted all day the next day. I never heard from you after that.
It’s now been 9 years since we broke up. 4 years ago, I got married and moved on. 3 years ago, you got married. Now, after all this time, you messaged my wife. Someone you had never spoken to before. You messaged her hoping she was being treated well. Urging her to fight and leave for a life she deserves.
I want you to know how disgusted my wife was. How disgusted that you would message her a caricature of her husband.
I know I wasn’t great, I made a lot of mistakes, and I didn’t have the slightest idea of how to be in a relationship. But, please, leave me alone. I grieved the loss of you. My wife telling me you messaged me, saying your name, it was surreal. The memories and feelings that your name stirred, I was convinced you were gone.
Why can’t you stay gone?

• MB

I separated from my husband earlier this year. It was a shock to his family. His mother spent weeks calling me urging me to "work things out". She hasn't called in a while I presume because my stbxh told her to stop.
His sister's daughter is getting married this summer. She's my niece and I love her so I definitely want to attend her wedding. There's also a wedding shower in a couple of weeks.
Frankly I'm nervous mostly because I haven't spoken in person to my sister-in-law since the split. I've texted and messaged her but we haven't spoken. I admit I have lingering resentments with her that would require a novel to explain.
Also, I know her mother in law is a loud annoying gossip. And I frankly don't want to be answering questions all day about my split.
How do I make this not so awkward?

I realized yt-dlp was usually picking 720 resolution so I added -f "bv+ba/b" to the command so it picks a much higher resolution video. Now it picks a 1080 or 1440p video, but I am having trouble with the audio.
FFMPEG gives an error:

* "[tls @ 0764f900] Unable to read from socket2126.6kbits/s speed=1.03x * Last message repeated 2 times * [in#1/matroska,webm @ 07694340] Error during demuxing: Error number -10054 occurred" 

Then a few seconds later the audio cuts out. I tried this on 2 separate videos, both videos the audio cute out consistently at the same place.

[debug] Command-line config: ['--ffmpeg-location', 'C:\\Users\\kyjb7\\Downloads\\FFMPEG-YT-DLP\\ffmpeg.exe', '--cookies', 'C:\\Users\\kyjb7\\Desktop\\cookies.txt', '-o', '-', '--extractor-args', 'youtube:player_client=ios,web', '-R', 'infinite', '-f', 'bv+ba/b', '--exec', 'C:\\Users\\kyjb7\\Downloads\\FFMPEG-YT-DLP\\ffmpeg.exe -reconnect 1 -reconnect_streamed 1 -reconnect_delay_max 5', '-vU', 'https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8D-6qcmH1zM'] [debug] Encodings: locale cp1252, fs utf-8, pref cp1252, out utf-8, error utf-8, screen utf-8 [debug] yt-dlp version nightly@2024.05.13.232704 from yt-dlp/yt-dlp-nightly-builds [351dc0bc3] (win_exe) [debug] Python 3.8.10 (CPython AMD64 64bit) - Windows-10-10.0.22631-SP0 (OpenSSL 1.1.1k 25 Mar 2021) [debug] exe versions: ffmpeg N-115233-g8670615743-20240515 (setts), ffprobe N-115233-g8670615743-20240515 [debug] Optional libraries: Cryptodome-3.20.0, brotli-1.1.0, certifi-2024.02.02, curl_cffi-0.5.10, mutagen-1.47.0, requests-2.31.0, sqlite3-3.35.5, urllib3-2.2.1, websockets-12.0 [debug] Proxy map: {} [debug] Request Handlers: urllib, requests, websockets, curl_cffi [debug] Loaded 1803 extractors [debug] Fetching release info: https://api.github.com/repos/yt-dlp/yt-dlp-nightly-builds/releases/latest Latest version: nightly@2024.05.13.232704 from yt-dlp/yt-dlp-nightly-builds yt-dlp is up to date (nightly@2024.05.13.232704 from yt-dlp/yt-dlp-nightly-builds) [youtube] Extracting URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8D-6qcmH1zM [youtube] 8D-6qcmH1zM: Downloading webpage [debug] [youtube] Extracted SAPISID cookie [debug] [youtube] Copying __Secure-3PAPISID cookie to SAPISID cookie [youtube] 8D-6qcmH1zM: Downloading ios player API JSON [debug] Loading youtube-nsig.74a3a562 from cache [debug] [youtube] Decrypted nsig mq3JFzsmhOpCiwsIRRt => 9YLFKPlVAVhyGA [debug] Loading youtube-nsig.74a3a562 from cache [debug] [youtube] Decrypted nsig UFSGaSK7ReqQT3Vhaq1 => oz_AIlirbxfIrw [youtube] 8D-6qcmH1zM: Downloading m3u8 information [debug] Sort order given by extractor: quality, res, fps, hdr:12, source, vcodec:vp9.2, channels, acodec, lang, proto [debug] Formats sorted by: hasvid, ie_pref, quality, res, fps, hdr:12(7), source, vcodec:vp9.2(10), channels, acodec, lang, proto, size, br, asr, vext, aext, hasaud, id [info] 8D-6qcmH1zM: Downloading 1 format(s): 308+251 [debug] Invoking ffmpeg downloader on [download] Destination: - [debug] ffmpeg.exe command line: C:\Users\kyjb7\Downloads\FFMPEG-YT-DLP\ffmpeg.exe -y -loglevel verbose -headers "User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 10.0; Win64; x64) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/93.0.4577.15 Safari/537.36 Accept: text/html,application/xhtml+xml,application/xml;q=0.9,*/*;q=0.8 Accept-Language: en-us,en;q=0.5 Sec-Fetch-Mode: navigate " -i -headers "User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 10.0; Win64; x64) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/93.0.4577.15 Safari/537.36 Accept: text/html,application/xhtml+xml,application/xml;q=0.9,*/*;q=0.8 Accept-Language: en-us,en;q=0.5 Sec-Fetch-Mode: navigate " -i -c copy -map 0:0 -map 1:0 -f webm - ffmpeg version N-115233-g8670615743-20240515 Copyright (c) 2000-2024 the FFmpeg developers built with gcc 13.2.0 (crosstool-NG 1.26.0.65_ecc5e41) configuration: --prefix=/ffbuild/prefix --pkg-config-flags=--static --pkg-config=pkg-config --cross-prefix=i686-w64-mingw32- --arch=i686 --target-os=mingw32 --enable-gpl --enable-version3 --disable-debug --disable-w32threads --enable-pthreads --enable-iconv --enable-libxml2 --enable-zlib --enable-libfreetype --enable-libfribidi --enable-gmp --enable-fontconfig --enable-libharfbuzz --enable-libvorbis --enable-opencl --disable-libpulse --enable-libvmaf --disable-libxcb --disable-xlib --enable-amf --enable-libaom --enable-libaribb24 --enable-avisynth --enable-chromaprint --enable-libdav1d --disable-libdavs2 --enable-libdvdread --enable-libdvdnav --disable-libfdk-aac --enable-ffnvcodec --enable-cuda-llvm --enable-frei0r --enable-libgme --enable-libkvazaar --enable-libaribcaption --enable-libass --enable-libbluray --enable-libjxl --enable-libmp3lame --enable-libopus --enable-librist --enable-libssh --enable-libtheora --enable-libvpx --enable-libwebp --enable-lv2 --enable-libvpl --enable-openal --enable-libopencore-amrnb --enable-libopencore-amrwb --enable-libopenh264 --enable-libopenjpeg --enable-libopenmpt --disable-librav1e --enable-librubberband --enable-schannel --enable-sdl2 --enable-libsoxr --enable-libsrt --disable-libsvtav1 --enable-libtwolame --disable-libuavs3d --disable-libdrm --enable-vaapi --enable-libvidstab --enable-vulkan --enable-libshaderc --enable-libplacebo --enable-libx264 --enable-libx265 --disable-libxavs2 --enable-libxvid --enable-libzimg --enable-libzvbi --extra-cflags=-DLIBTWOLAME_STATIC --extra-cxxflags= --extra-libs=-lgomp --extra-ldflags=-pthread --extra-ldexeflags= --cc=i686-w64-mingw32-gcc --cxx=i686-w64-mingw32-g++ --ar=i686-w64-mingw32-gcc-ar --ranlib=i686-w64-mingw32-gcc-ranlib --nm=i686-w64-mingw32-gcc-nm --extra-version=20240515 libavutil 59. 17.100 / 59. 17.100 libavcodec 61. 5.103 / 61. 5.103 libavformat 61. 3.103 / 61. 3.103 libavdevice 61. 2.100 / 61. 2.100 libavfilter 10. 2.101 / 10. 2.101 libswscale 8. 2.100 / 8. 2.100 libswresample 5. 2.100 / 5. 2.100 libpostproc 58. 2.100 / 58. 2.100 [tcp @ 0764f3c0] Starting connection attempt to 2620:11a:a02a:5::12 port 443 [tcp @ 0764f3c0] Successfully connected to 2620:11a:a02a:5::12 port 443 Input #0, matroska,webm, from Metadata: encoder : google/video-file Duration: 00:09:14.88, start: 0.000000, bitrate: 11726 kb/s Stream #0:0(eng): Video: vp9 (Profile 0), 1 reference frame, yuv420p(tv, bt709), 2560x1440, SAR 1:1 DAR 16:9, 60 fps, 60 tbr, 1k tbn (default) [tcp @ 0764f180] Starting connection attempt to 2620:11a:a02a:5::12 port 443 [tcp @ 0764f180] Successfully connected to 2620:11a:a02a:5::12 port 443 Input #1, matroska,webm, from Metadata: encoder : google/video-file Duration: 00:09:14.90, start: -0.007000, bitrate: 131 kb/s Stream #1:0(eng): Audio: opus, 48000 Hz, stereo, fltp, delay 312 (default) [out#0/webm @ 07670400] Adding streams from explicit maps... [vost#0:0/copy @ 0773df80] Created video stream from input stream 0:0 [aost#0:1/copy @ 0773e4c0] Created audio stream from input stream 1:0 Stream mapping: Stream #0:0 -> #0:0 (copy) Stream #1:0 -> #0:1 (copy) Output #0, webm, to 'pipe:': Metadata: encoder : Lavf61.3.103 Stream #0:0(eng): Video: vp9 (Profile 0), 1 reference frame, yuv420p(tv, bt709), 2560x1440 [SAR 1:1 DAR 16:9], q=2-31, 60 fps, 60 tbr, 1k tbn (default) Stream #0:1(eng): Audio: opus, 48000 Hz, stereo, fltp, delay 312 (default) [out#0/webm @ 07670400] Starting thread... [in#0/matroska,webm @ 07675800] Starting thread... [in#1/matroska,webm @ 07694340] Starting thread... Press [q] to stop, [?] for help Automatically inserted bitstream filter 'vp9_superframe'; args='' [tls @ 0764f900] Unable to read from socket2126.6kbits/s speed=1.03x Last message repeated 2 times [in#1/matroska,webm @ 07694340] Error during demuxing: Error number -10054 occurred [in#1/matroska,webm @ 07694340] Terminating thread with return code 0 (success) [in#0/matroska,webm @ 07675800] EOF while reading inputs speed=1.05x [in#0/matroska,webm @ 07675800] Terminating thread with return code 0 (success) [out#0/webm @ 07670400] All streams finished [out#0/webm @ 07670400] Terminating thread with return code 0 (success) [AVIOContext @ 0773e840] Statistics: 820580941 bytes written, 0 seeks, 33429 writeouts [out#0/webm @ 07670400] Output file #0 (pipe:): [out#0/webm @ 07670400] Output stream #0:0 (video): 33293 packets muxed (813119915 bytes); [out#0/webm @ 07670400] Output stream #0:1 (audio): 21217 packets muxed (6911019 bytes); [out#0/webm @ 07670400] Total: 54510 packets (820030934 bytes) muxed [out#0/webm @ 07670400] video:794062KiB audio:6749KiB subtitle:0KiB other streams:0KiB global headers:0KiB muxing overhead: 0.067071% size= 801349KiB time=00:07:04.34 bitrate=15470.2kbits/s speed=0.796x [in#0/matroska,webm @ 07675800] Input file #0 [in#0/matroska,webm @ 07675800] Input stream #0:0 (video): 33293 packets read (813119915 bytes); [in#0/matroska,webm @ 07675800] Total: 33293 packets (813119915 bytes) demuxed [AVIOContext @ 076946c0] Statistics: 813374149 bytes read, 0 seeks [in#1/matroska,webm @ 07694340] Input file #1 [in#1/matroska,webm @ 07694340] Input stream #1:0 (audio): 21217 packets read (6911019 bytes); [in#1/matroska,webm @ 07694340] Total: 21217 packets (6911019 bytes) demuxed [AVIOContext @ 0768fa40] Statistics: 7061456 bytes read, 0 seeks [tls @ 0764f900] Failed to send close message [download] 100% in 00:08:53 

Thanks for helping!

I 27m broke up with my gf of 7 years at the start of 2024 no hard feelings or anything, ever since tho I have been watch gay adult content which has been weird as I before hand never had a thought about anything of that stuff. I started to question it in my work one day as I seen this obviously gay guy with a huge ass. He came up to me and should interest but I said “nah I’m straight” I thought about it more after and I thought, I got turned on by the thought of me fucking him but, got grossed or at the thought of him doing that or kissing me.
I have no idea what is going on but i am sure it turns me on because it’s like the thought of fucking a guy with a fat ass is almost like conquering him and the thought of like it’s wrong to want to fuck a guy that is feminine with an ass is a huge turn on, but a massive turn off if I think of kissing or me being the one that is fucked. Getting head as well but with my eyes closed is hot, usually the content the guys ass has to be shaved as well or I can’t watch. I’m just so confused at this point, cause I could definitely do it, as I find it so incredible hot if it’s a guy that has feminine attributes, but couldn’t see myself doing any of that other stuff at all as the thought of that makes me feel sick. What would this be called and has anyone experienced this?
I’m just so confused as I still find women hot and would go for them more but if given the opportunity I would fuck a feminine guy if they had a nice ass every now and then.
Update: Gave the guy I saw at work this new Reddit I have and he said that him and some of his friends wanted me to rate their asses😂 as they wanted my opinion, which is a massive turn on because I’ve not done anything with a guy and they are random strangers, that are gonna be sending me that soon😂 think they are turned on by the fact that It would be my first time fuckin a guy and I can tell they want it to be one of them. I was in the toilet at the urinal about to take my break and the original guy came in walked up to the side of me and he said “hey you know me and my friend are competing with each other right”
I responded “for what”
He leavened in and said “for your seed, we all want to be the first guy you fill up”
I instantly got hard which he noticed as the pee started hitting the urinal with more force. He looked down grabbing my cock which at this point was throbbing like mad, kept talking and started to give it a few tugs each gettin faster and faster while saying “we will send the photos and you’ll enjoy them but just remember this moment when u see me in the phone with my head down arched back and gaping hole lookin right at u, that this (reference my cock) will be mine and u will empty everything u have in these balls into that tight little hole” He at this point tugged my cock hard and has he then led me by dick into the cubical push me on the seat of the toilet dropped to his knee and start sucking my cock better than my exes did in the past, i inched deeper and deeper into his tight little throat with every Bob of his head and I couldn’t take it anymore I taped his head to pull out but he instead he went balls deep which I didn’t expect as my eyes we’re looking at the ceiling the entire time as the head was unbelievable good, it was the first time that it had happened to me before and I shot the biggest load ever down his tight little throat . He turned around and walked out telling me to look at his ass as the next time I see it will be in those naked photos.
Kinda sounds too good to be true but I ain’t complaining. Can’t wait to receive them photos from a bunch of randoms that I don’t even know. I’ve seen the friends and they are all really feminine and a 3 of them have got a wagon on them the others ain’t as much but still nice. Can’t wait so see the experience how different a guy takes it to the women I’ve been with, cause they three guys alone have bigger asses than 90% of the girls I’ve been with, and I’ve heard the head gay guys give is better-✅the toilet experience ticked that off as true), I am exited to see what happens in the next few weeks. And can’t wait to see how the photos turn out.
The thought of a guy setting up a camera behind over and take a photo to my approval as to if I would empty my seed balls deep inside of them is an amazing,and that I hope it doesn’t end with them. As it is such a turn on to receive booty pics especially from guys with nice big bubble butts like them to get my thoughts or have them told how I want them to take a photo for my pleasure 😇 . I’ll definitely fuck one of those three anyway as they all seem very interested to be the first guy I’ve ever fill up. Things are looking great tho never been more turned on at the thought of a few guys wanting my cock in my life and my opinion on their bubble butts and cute little holes.
EDIT: some people messaging asking if I find the Forwardness weird, nah I don’t I find it extremely hot.
SECOND EDIT: didn’t expect any messages 😅keep them DM’s coming i guess god damn😜😜😜😜🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

This post is mainly a response to the many posts I saw about debunking the pleasure part, which is also one of the things I found most difficult. I also talk about the habit formation with pmo, since I think it is important to consider this and it should not be overlooked. Hope this helps and apologies for the large (and messy) body of text but else the post would feel incomplete. As I also say at the end, I would like to stress that this is not a blue print/quick fix for solving this problem. It is just the information which helped me work my way out of this. It's of course possible that it doesn't work for you but I thought why not share what helped me :)
POST:
A part of this immense pleasure is obtained by you choosing to engage in this activity, whether it feels like that or not, there is a point in time where you (however quickly) make the decision to enter this magical fantasy realm where pmo is the most greatest thing. Once you become aware of this fact that you are actively doing this, you will see that it is a choice every single time. (I know that you already understand this, but still felt the need to say it since it is essential) For me, this was the most important step, since from here I could ask myself, why am I doing this.
Don’t underestimate the role which habits play with this behaviour. They can make it feel like it just happens automatically, but it just happens very fast. I am not only talking about the habit of initiating the pmo/firing up a website but about the dozens of other habits that come into play, habits of thought primarily. These habits of thought also correspond to certain thoughts you might already have debunked. That is, for example, I might have debunked the idea that pmo provides stress relieve, but what is still possible, and what has happened to me, is that the habit of thinking that pmo does this is still there. I think that this habitual part of the behaviour is what many people write off as the ‘addiction’ since it is something which feels almost automatically. But again, IT IS NOT!!! It is a (pattern of) habit(s) which have been constructed by your past behaviour, which makes total sense. To tackle this and exercise your free will in getting rid of these habits and solving this problem, being mindful is your friend.
Before continuing on this mindfulness, I think it’s important to add that seeing pleasure in pmo is also one of the habits developed through these actions (pmo). Again, this doesn’t mean you’re forced to see it as pleasurable, it’s just that it has been made easier and more efficient to do so. It honestly feels as the start of a weird and abstract infinite sequence of habits but when thinking about it, isn’t it true that attributing value to this pleasure (which is constructed by choice/habits) is also a habit? To me it seems like it is, since this is again something most of us have been doing for a long time and whether we like it or not, something that we have seen great benefit in doing (even though we might not feel this way).
To continue on being mindful, it is indeed true that through changing your preferences and debunking certain aspects of pmo, solving this problem becomes infinitely easier than with the willpower method. But this doesn’t mean, at least for me it didn’t, that there is no effort/discomfort involved in solving it. After all, you seek a change in your behaviouhabits, a behaviour which you have been doing for a certain (long) amount of time. Being mindful is key here to notice what you are doing and which course your day/ your life can and is taking and how you can influence this. (I highly recommend meditating for this!) Dealing with these habits is something I like to see as bringing these in your conscious realm so you can consciously change it.
When you want to change something in your life, sometimes a certain amount of courage is needed. This part is the one which I struggled with the most. Choosing to pmo and choosing to experience pleasure from it can give the sensation of an easily accessible sort of warm blanket if you will. But I knew that it was time to move on, which anyone can!!!, and knew that it was necessary for me to step out of this comfort zone ( I know I sound as one of those mindset guru’s, which I don’t like, but bear with me). This is where you might feel scared or a similar sensation of anxiety, since you’re encountering unknown territory, and that’s exactly where the courage is needed. To take a leap of faith and try new things.

To continue on the pleasure part, there is nothing wrong with seeking pleasure/magic in one’s life. In fact, this is something which can bring much happiness. But, as you might have experienced, too much of it is also possible and not necessarily better than a lesser amount. My point is that pleasure is, by the very fact that you are on this subreddit, not your ultimate goal in life. Because if it was, your pmo behaviour wouldn’t be a problem and you would probably turn it up a notch!
For me, seeing pleasure (by pmo, or any pleasure if you will, although different discussion) as something that can add value to something but most definitely not as equal to the value caused pmo and its pleasure to be taken off this pedestral on which it has been put on, which is also why nofap fails for most since it only endorses this pedestral.
Thus the debunking of the pleasure came down for me as truly seeing it as a choice and then asking myself (multiple times): “Does this attributing of pleasure/magic to pmo give me something that is worth doing in my life, i.e. is it part of something that I want in life. “
In other words, the key was not debunking the pleasure itself, but rather the value which I attribute to this pleasure!!!
Again this debunking takes time, since, as mentioned above, many habits are involved in this and it takes some courage to change this behaviour and move forward in your life. Also, some think that they should completely debunk pmo and the pleasure to the point of absolutely hating it. This is, in my opinion, making it harder for yourself than it actually is and most of the time leads to then moping over still seeing pleasure in it and then succumbing to this apparently inherent pleasure. So please don’t chase this.
To conclude, when someone says: ‘but there is oh so much pleasure in it’ or rather ‘Why wouldn’t I choose to see so much pleasure in it?’. Notice that then, at that moment, this person is (indirectly) saying this type of pleasure is, at that moment, your ultimate goal in life, since it stands above everything else at that moment. This is why finding meaning in other things in life is effective for many, since it gives different options to fulfill your life. I know that I’m going philosophical with this, but for me it helped tremendously to think about and find out what I want to do with my life and how pmo is gonna attribute to that. Short-term-pmo-type-Pleasure is not the ultimate goal in my life is what I found out. Just like many others, I have been exposed to pmo from a very young age, which caused me to grow up with it. My whole puberty and my first years in my twenties have been with pmo. Because of this, I had a certain lack of knowing what I was missing, I could only dream about it. For me, this made it more difficult to find other things in life to value as I valued pmo. This is again where the courage was needed, so for the last time as a message to you, find the courage and find that you are the master of your own life.
I mainly talked about the pleasure aspect and habit forming concerning pmo but there are of course many other factors to consider when making decisions about this. One final thing I would like to add is that this is not a blueprint or whatsoever to quit pmo or to change your life. This is simply information, mostly derived from the freedom model and self insight, which helped me debunk the benefits and solve this pmo-problem. I can only hope that it can aid you aswell.
Let me know if you have questions/remarks, i’m always open for conversation!

i’m afraid to stop texting you.
you don’t respond anymore.
not really.
when you do reply, i get so happy.
“elated” is a better word.
i crave your words, your attention, your love.
but you don’t respond anymore.
and i’m afraid to stop texting you.
/
why should it always be me?
why should i always reach out to you?
screaming into the void would yield better answers.
at least then, i could hear the echo of my own words.
at least then, i’d know that someone was listening.
i wish you would tell me what i did.
if i did anything at all.
i wish you would tell me if i did something wrong.
but why should it always be me?
why am i always at fault?
why should i feel bad?
you haven’t told me anything.
i know the void can’t talk.
what excuse would you have?
/
i’m afraid to stop texting you.
i’ve known you for years.
thinking back, it was always me.
texting you first.
i’m afraid to stop.
that’d mean you were really gone.
that you outgrew me.
i wonder if you miss me, sometimes.
if you lay in bed and remember everything we’ve done or said.
i’m afraid to stop texting you.
because i know you wouldn’t text me.
/
if i ever stopped, i know my message would be the last thing i said to you.
then you would be gone.
i wouldn’t get closure that way.
if you’d died, it would be different.
at least i’d have a reason.
like this, though, i can’t move on.
not until i know why you’ve left me alone.
staring into a void of one sided conversations. my echoes.
things i’d never tell anyone else.
the last things i’d have said to you.
/
i wonder if you’ll text me.

I posted this to another forum a couple days ago, and a lot of people keep telling me its abuse. I know its not nearly as awful as some of the scenarios here, but I would love some opinions on whats going on. Thank you everyone <3
LINK TO THE ORIGINAL POST: https://www.reddit.com/MMFB/comments/1cs5rhd/i_18m_feel_like_my_girlfriend_18f_is_verbally/
For context, I am in University about 50 miles from where she and my parents live, so I commute every weekend and most weekdays to see her. I love her. Plain and simple, in so many ways. We used to work together until she got a better job recently. Yesterday was her birthday. I made her some cookies common in the continent she's from, and baked them into heart shapes. I also got her 25$ of lottery tickets, flowers, her favorite energy drink, and a handwritten card with a lot of writing and drawings of us and her cat. I dropped it off to her in the morning after an all-nighter (going through it with finals and papers right now) and drove to the University to work my full shift. First she texted me thanking me for the gift, then asked me "what the fuck" those cookies were and that she choked on them. I was sad, told her what they were, and she told me I shouldn't have cooked something as a gift since I'm a bad cook. (I am, but I've made other stuff that she liked in the past). She also complained that the whole point of buying lottery tickets is to buy them, not to scratch them (I disagree?). She texted me that I shouldn't have gotten her anything if it was just going to be low effort.
I saw her later that night after she got out of work, and she was mad at me. She said I ruined her birthday by giving such a low effort gift, and that I didn't care about her. She brought up that I ruined her birthday last year too (by not immediately stopping our text conversation about some other girl and wishing her happy birthday the minute it got past midnight). Anytime I responded that I did put effort into the cookies, she would just deny it. Incredibly frustrating since I know how much effort I put in. She was mad the flowers I got her were not in a boquet, only loose, which didn't make it seem like a special occasion. At the heart of it she was mad that my gifts weren't special? To me the card and cookies were plenty special but she just says that it was stuff I've given her other days. She started calling me ret*rded, to which I responded "You're mean to me and I don't like it". I don't remember much of what she said (I'd had 4 hours of sleep in the past 2 nights), but she doubled down and continued calling me a wide variety of hurtful words, from ret*rded to stupid to childish and immature. I was already long sobbing, and in the middle asked her to just hit me instead. She obviously refused. She asked if I even wanted to go on our trip this upcoming weekend. I responded yes, and she replied that maybe I don't if I don't care about her enough to get her a decent gift.
She's horrifically depressed, and I know she has some specific trauma in response to people not caring about her birthdays. I think that explains part of it. Still, I tried. I am also depressed myself. I've tried bringing it up to her a few times and she responds that I'm "always b*tching too much" because my life is so perfect. Compared to hers its way better, yes, but that doesn't mean I need a reason to be depressed. She's also acted distant the entire Spring semester. I rarely spend time with her, and even more rarely is it time that isn't just "okay we can see each other for 5 minutes but I have to go in". We havent' had sex since January, or cuddling. I very much miss both of these things, and we've had (rare) opportunities for them shes missed because shes too busy sleeping (I'm not allowed in her appartment to join her, mom discovered we had sex).
At the end of being yelled at when she denied me a hug and told me essentially to go away, I had a nervous break. Honestly I've been working too much and I'm overwhelmed with needing to find a new second job and the immense weight of finals and final essays ,things breaking on my car, and now this. I sped off, her and her mom heard my tires squealing and uninvited me from the trip. I drove recklessly for about 2-3 minutes on backroads while scream-crying about killing myself and fighting the urge to drive into a tree. Not proud of it. But I am devastated about missing the trip. She backed out on us living together, and promised we could have time to cuddle on the trip. I honestly don't feel like I have anything to look forward to.
I do a lot for her. I drive two hours round trip every time I want to see her, sometimes even for 5 minutes to drop off some food before going back. I've spent the past academic year working to support our long-standing plans of moving out together (This past weekend was my first time having more than one day off in a row since accompanying her to her surgery in October). I bring her flowers weekly, at work I do all of the hard stuff for her and massage her shoulders if she feels sore. I bring her food from my University and any treats she wants from the surrounding stores. I always ask if she wants anything. I have never said anything hurtful to her. She apologizes when she hurts my feelings too much and she realizes it, like last night. I spend thousands on her, whether jewelry (the most expensive ring she lost), buying her contacts or paying big bills when shes strugglign like drivers' ed or her wheel bearing replacements.
She texted me that shes sorry I'm not going and that she hurt me but I need to control my emotions better. That she loves me so much and regardless of our fights she will always love me so much. I responded that I felt like an unappreciated chore and didnt want to get yelled at. She replied that I'm not a chore she just hasnt had time and has been too depressed to make time for me. We texted a bit and I slept a few hours until my final/work today. She clearly didn't like me defending myself by saying that if i got a present i didnt like i wouldnt call my partner a "worthless ret*rd" by responding "i never called you worthless dont put words in my mouth...i sent you messages apologizing and being worried and your response is victimizing and arguing more...not happy with ruining my birthday? had to go further and ruin the day after?"
We've been texting each other throughout the day happier things. She's been sending me recipes to be a better cook and wants me to see her for 5 minutes after work in about 2 hours from the time of writing. I want to be with her. I love her, I've done so much, I will continue. But I feel like I'm being verbally abused. And I don't know how to stop it. I'm so overwhelmed with everythign in my life and I really just need someone on my side. I think i'll just first establish a rule of not interrupting/yelling and then telling her how hurt and lonely I feel. That I love her and I can totally work with her on managing time for me and depression but that I cannot tolerate verbal abuse.
TLDR: Gave girlfriend cookies for her birthday. She didnt like them and called me a ret*rd. I had a nervous break from other combined stressors, made a scene with reckless driving, got uninvited to a trip with her and her mom. She is texting me recipes and being nice to me today. I will see her in a few hours. I am hurt and overwhelmed with life and just want to be treated like I'm loved.
Thank you readers
EDIT: I would appreciate some more input. I'm so confused and torn. She picked me up today for our talk. I hoped for a long, communicative drive about our relationship and how we can make it better for both of us. She decided we were going to Target and we "might drive around a little" after. It started off wonderful. She said I was mature in a lot of aspects, thanked me for putting up with her, saying she knows its difficult and she appreciates me sticking around with her. It seemed like well-desired clarity for me. I loved it. I thanked her, it validated me. We agreed that we should be there for each other above everything and that communication was important. She gave me the tip of telling her to "think about what you're saying" next time she yells at me and she will stop, and mentioned that we will have a lot more time together when her school ends in "a few weeks". I asked her if she was happy in our relationship and she said absolutely, that if she wasn't she would have already left me (I believe it). She apologized for snapping at me, but said that "if I asked her to cuddle one more time she would" (I've been bringing it up and she keeps telling me when she gets time. Weeks pass, I ask again, she gets mad that she always says the same thing)
We went to Target, and things were good. We talked about other things. She very quickly shifted the conversation. I'd read about avoidant personalities in relationships and brought it up to her in the car that she might be one. She said that stuff was fake and meaningless. I also read that it might be best to approach it with compassion and more "these things make me feel good" as opposed to "this makes me feel bad". She interrupted me and told me to stop because it was annoying me saying "I love you so much". Not what I was going to say. It ended up as another argument, or at least for her. I kept saying that it was important for us to communicate, and that I felt like the problem would come up again if we didn't finish. She said we communicated too much and "why did I have to bring it up" because we moved past it and it ended on a high note and I just had to keep repeating myself and causing an argument and bring it into a negative note. I told her I wasn't arguing she was, and that there was no such thing as "too much" communication for me. For her, she said there was, and that by not shutting up about it I was making little things that she would nitpick and get mad at me for.
I said the lack of communication and connection was stressing me out, she said that I'm always stressed. That she was stressed too, tired with a headache and needing to pack for the trip I was uninvited from. I said maybe we should both go to a psychologist, she replied that she already did and was "fixed" and was waiting on me to finally go.
Since she didn't want to talk about it, I tried to change the subject, but she was silent. Still gave me an "I love you" and told me I'd see her in a week.
Parents are telling me to run away that she's toxic and manipulative. Same with you people here. I deeply appreciate the advice, its just really really hard to think of it this way. I thought I would marry her. I still hope she can change and I can, but it just seems increasingly unlikely. It's heartbreaking, I love so much about her, miss so much about her, and being alone is terrifying. I fear if I did leave as everyone is suggesting I may not find another person like her that I love as much.
My current plan, I'll just focus on myself and kind of "clock out" of the idea that she is the only person I am capable of loving and that she treats me perfectly while still being supportive of her for the next few weeks. I still have some hope that she'll be better in the weeks shes free. I don't know, I'll just focus on my life and put her on the same priority she puts me.

I’m a European living in the US for 11 years now. In 2023 my apartment got flooded twice so I moved twice and became a bit territorial and protective due to trauma.
Last December I asked my best friend to move in with me after I lost my job. He doesn’t have any furniture, he sleeps in my spare bed, uses my desk, plates, etc. We don’t even equally share groceries tbh and I didn’t ask for 50% because he doesn’t come from a financially stable background. He’s been working at a fast food chain for as long as I known him.
I had an SWE job that I lost back in December. I have money that I have saved that allows me to live in the same conditions as I did and having some money off from my rent was also a big bonus.
Im a 23+ year old woman and when I was living by myself I had random knocks on my doors or maintenance come in while I was at work so I installed some cameras before my friend moved in and he was aware.
We’ve been living together for 2 months and everything was fine except for his sister who always crashed because it was convenient for her which I hated but I can’t say no its my best friends sister.
I was gone to FL for 5 days and the first red flag emerged when when he invited his sister over without telling me. I found out through the security camera. It made me mad not because I didn’t want her and I didn’t but because why wouldn’t you tell me?
So she started making this a regular thing. One day my friend had a super early morning shift and his sister had crashed and my dad was on his way from Europe so I wanted to clean the apartment but my friends sister was there so I couldn’t. Around afternoon I interrupted her TV show to ask when his brother was gonna wake up and she said “Oh he left 5 hours ago” and a part of me desperately wanted to say “then why are you here”
She asked me which food is mine and which is her brothers and I told her we didn’t have rules like that so she should enjoy herself. Im thinking she’s gonna eat some cereal or some eggs or something. She ends up making herself a whole meal: eggs, bacon, sausage, tater tots, coffee, orange juice all of it. I’m not from the US but damn I expected some decency. She also left her dirty socks on the living room floor and left like its her house and I’m her maid lmao. Real attitude problems because she’s the only one in the family that didn’t get kicked out and got called satan’s child.
Anyways today I went to Alabama for Hangout festival and at 10am the security camera got cut off which obviously made it super suspicious. I trusted my apartment and all of my entire belongings to him once again and he texts me saying “Hey my sisters friends plane got cancelled can he crash with us” No name mentioned whatsoever btw. Never met the guy. He barely knows the guy. Somehow he’s giving me false sense of security like “oh ill make sure he wont go into your room while he’s on the couch and I’m in my own wing of the apt. Also my sister can’t take him bc she won’t be home either” like wtf??? I said no I don’t want strangers while I’m gone and why is the camera off and he said its bc he find it creepy but he didn’t find it creepy at all until I left. Like the moment I leave for 4 days and he has the whole apt to himself he find the cameras weird all of a sudden.
I told him this was a huge red flag for me and he has ghosted me since. I’m gonna think about my apartment for 4 days now. And I guess I have to find a way to end this…
I have been through with him thick and thin when his own family had kicked him out and now I feel betrayed.
I’ll take any advice I can get thank you!!

[[Some context before I begin:This was in Regular gamemode, not All Stars. At the time when this whole thing happened, I barely had like.. 15 wins. You can skip to the second paragraph 'cuz that's where stuff gets interesting]]
So off the bat when I joined this match, I noticed a group of premades. Their names were 'Doritos', 'Hot cheetos', and 'takis'. They referred to themselves as the "Girl's Group". I ended up being picked last and I automatically went to their team. I immediately tried forming alliances early cuz I knew I was pretty much screwed if I didn't [Why didn't I try to form an alliance with the Girl's Group, you might be asking? I mean, I could've, but they were friends and they could've easily discarded me in late game. I'm not taking that risk ;-;]. One of the three people I reached out to [I don't remember their name so I'll just refer to them as ANON1] got back to me and agreed to try and get others to team against the Girl's Group. For the first two rounds, our team won, but on the third, we lost. By that point I had already found three advantages and ANON1 had told me that they had found two other people willing to team up against the Girl's Group. "We" agreed to vote off Doritos first because they would be the biggest threat in late game [Doritos was fairly decent at challenges].
Elimination comes around. Now, I'm an extremely paranoid player and I don't really trust anybody fully in Outlaster [especially knowing that people knew I was trying to make a net of alliances and that there was a group of teamers] so I played a safety advantage. Just to be safe [better safe than sorry..]. Turns out ANON1 tried to blindside me and everybody else voted me. Doritos ended up getting out and [surprisingly] didn't immediately leave. ANON1 left. Those last two details are important later.
So I know my entire team, maybe most of the server, is against me. The entire server was quiet for a bit and I knew they were probably messaging each other. I tried to reach out to some people who weren't on my team to form an alliance, no responses. My team got a hostage event [I think y'all already knew this, but I'll mention it just in case. When there's a hostage event, two scrolls spawn].
After the elimination [I played an elimination exit], I started getting accused of hacking in the chat, and just like that, the entire server was against me if they weren't already. People also started bullying me in chat [Oh wow, who would've guessed that would happen?!?]. Merge happened and I ended up getting to the finale. During this, a group of about seven jury [Included Doritos, Hot Cheetos, Talkis, ANON1, ANON2, ANON3, AND ANON5] start piling up. They weren't afk either, I could see the bubble that appears over your head that indicates that they were typing something. Most of the people who were accusing me of hacking got out. ANON1 [I think] disconnected and joined back as a jury. The final three included me and two other people. When finale started, I was immediately mocked and bullied for "hacking" [wowie]. Turns out ANON1 was also convincing everybody else on jury that I was hacking [if they weren't convinced already]. These people wasted an hour of their life staying in jury just so they could spite me by voting someone else to win. If I was playing a similar round today, I probably would've left because I knew I wouldn't win that [at the time I thought that bonus points were given out no matter what, mainly because I never played a round with a large jury beforehand].
What was their proof I was hacking, exactly?
I kept on using advantages. That was their reasoning. They also accused me of teleporting around the map to get hints. I don't think these were new players by the way, the people on the jury were Outlasters [4], All Stars [2], and Legendaries [1]. They knew what advantages were. I don't think that they were confused, I'm pretty sure I was accused of hacking in early-game [..and in late-game but it calmed down a lot] so people would see me as a threat [in all fairness, I was a threat because I was winning most of the solo challenges and had a lot of nullified wins]. Or maybe they did genuinely think that, who knows.
Either way, as you were probably expecting, I didn't win that match. All the jury had decided to vote some random person [said person was quiet the whole time, didn't win a single challenge (solo and teams).] to win. Thinking back on it though, this person probably WAS teaming with one or multiple of the players from jury.
Kinda just wanted to rant a little cuz this has been in my head for a while ;w; if you have an experience of being robbed like this please let me know [I know y'all are out there]

I'm Nya! A few days ago, I posted on this sub looking for friends and got a lot of requests. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to answer even half of them, and the ones I did answer, we couldn't talk much:(
While responding to people, my messages were suddenly unable to send, my posts were deleted, and I couldn't make new ones. This was all without a warning^. I'm not sure if someone reported me or if my account got banned...
I promise I didn't ghost(that just isn't my thing) I met a lot of nice people that day, and even the ones I couldn't respond to yet wrote lovely opening messages.
I hope the people that dmed see this!!! (I made the avatar and my username almost the same) If you guys see this, feel free to text me again:)))))

I (23f) and my husband (29m) got into an argument earlier because I discovered a girl texting his phone. He had deleted the messages between them, so the chat was new (and muted) but it was clear that they’d been texting before. I asked him two days ago if there was anything on his phone that shouldn’t be. I asked if there was anyone he was talking to that he knew would be an issue for me.
He said “I mean…you wouldn’t be mad.” I told him not to mince words and was there anything going on. He said no. I told him to be honest because we were in a good spot and I wouldn’t even be mad, I just had a feeling and I wanted the truth. He still said no.
This morning, I find the girl texting him asking if he worked today because she wanted to see him. He said it was nothing and he only deleted the messages bc they weren’t that big a deal. I was upset so I went to go cool off. When I got back, he still wanted to tell me how it wasn’t that deep and that yes, he lied to me, but it was something small and I should believe him about that. If I don’t believe him, that’s my problem.
I told him that I needed space because I didn’t want to lose it. He said “sometimes to find yourself, you have to lose it. Proceeded to go outside with the dog. I was upset and came and sprayed him with the water hose, so he took a fresh pile of dog poop and hit me with it.
He said I acted shitty so he acted accordingly. It became a big blowout, but he says that I was the AH and that my actions had consequences. Now, I know that it was petty, but I had only wet his shirt and it’s 85 degrees out here, so I really didn’t think it that big a deal.
I told him he was disrespectful and nasty for what he did and he said that what I did was just as bad, if not worse. He says that he served me justice for being an asshole. He also told me to bring it to the internet to see who was in the wrong and everyone will tell me I was wrong. So was I an AH for spraying him with the garden hose?
Also would like to add that I asked him if he really thought hitting me with dog poop was equal to the hose and he said that it was better than smearing my face with it like I deserved

Hello there...
Why i like Izuru???
I like Izuru because he's a very smart and OP character but we couldn't see much of him. He's talented asf, I love him, he looks so cool with those long hair and red eyes of him, he knows how many sides an octagon has unlike Hajime, he knows how to deal with Junko, he's awesome and I love his hair, he got his own cute little spot in the villains wiki, 91 cm, he's logical and thinks with his brain, not by heart, Kamukura Kamukura Yas Queen, he wins every stare contest easily, He's named after the founder of Hope's Peak Academy, he's so relatable and he likes boats and seacrafts just like me, he manages to look cool everytime, his design in the anime is perfect, his happy pixel in the villains wiki is adorable, he's the right one for me I'll never stop loving him, he has all the talents, I find it funny how he thinks talented people are superior to the ones without talent and how he doesn't hesitate to express his disgust towards them, he does that in a polite way, I love how excited he got from the boat's rocking because he couldn't predict it and didn't understand that he was in a boat until Nagito told him that, I find it so relatable that he finds everything boring and predictable to a degree that he's chronically bored, he is in a search of identity as well, I love how he easily blocked Mukuro's attack and how he easily dodged Junko's attacks, he's so fricking cool. I love him. Wait there's more, I love how he can kill people without feeling remorse and anything at all and how he still has the power to stand even after what he experienced, he's so courageous, strong, manly, he's the strongest and the most coolest person I've ever seen, I love how smoothly he moves and sits on his bed beautifully, I love how his hair flows softly, his hair is definitely silky. I love him. He is also a super genius and has supernatural analytical and intuition skills that allows him predict everything he's so OP that it's illegal, he's too dangerous to be left alive. I love him. Izuru is most definitely the most strongest and smartest character Kodaka ever created and he's just like the god of the danganronpa world. I love him. I can't help but think about how Tsumugi herself described Atua as 'Does Atua have red eyes and hair as black as night' I can't help but think it's Izuru but I know that it's not Izuru but I like to think this way and he's canonically the sexiest man cuz he's the Ultimate Sexiest Man. I love him. Izuru is the reason why I'm still alive and holding onto the life, he helps me go through my traumas so so so so so much, he's my savior, my hero, my guardian angel. If he wasn't there, I wouldn't be there, too. He's the best thing happened to me. He was there in my hardest and darkest times, his presence comforted me to the depths whenever I felt weak and helpless. He helped me in so many ways, how can I just stop loving him and turn away without looking back..? Even the thought of that is... is enough to make my body feel cold... I could never betray him... If I ever betray him know that I'm not myself anymore and have lost my mind. But I know. As long as he's here, I'll be sane and alive. Izuru Kamukura is my lifelong hero and one and only true love. <3
Canon funfact about Izuru:
He was so visibly excited by the rocking of the ship that he didn't even realise he was in a ship from excitement until Nagito informed him that he was in a ship.
Aaaand talking with Izuru?.. Oh my... Talking with Izuru... Omg...
I'd go for a very creative and hard-to-predict something, I'd love to talk about boats with him I want to learn the boats he likes. Ketches? WAIT THERE ARE SHIPS TOO. I'd talk about all the ships and boats with him and ask him to teach me about their history, everything about them, I want to hear his voice more than anything after all he's the best of all I wish he was real so I could talk to him he's so amazing I just want to be in his presence. Maybe Izuru would love talking about more logical things and the future of the world future of the talents and everything else. I'd talk anything with Izuru as long as its with him. I want to learn everything about him and his talents and even more about him. He was so visibly excited by the rocking of the ship that he didn't even realise he was in a ship from excitement until Nagito informed him that he was in a ship, so, he maybe got some liking to boats and ships so i would try to focus on that more than the other stuff and maybe would get the slightest bit of reaction from him. Seacrafts are so cool already he would at least listen to me I presume. Cruisers are so cool... Oh gosh i'd love to talk to him...
some info about Izuru <33333

• Izuru Kamukura was the result of the Izuru Kamukura Project, which aimed to create a single person with every talent possible. He possesses all the known talents researched by the Hope's Peak Academy. Izuru Kamukura was named after the founder of Hope's Peak Academy.
• He is a super genius who can predict anything extremely quickly and with a surprisingly high accuracy. He has supernatural analytical and intuition skills.
• He has supernatural strength, agility, smarts and is extremely lucky. He has the title of 'Ultimate Hope'.

He is able to predict anything with surprisingly high accuracy so this causes him to be bored almost all the time, he also got lobotomised, these causes him to not show interest in anything except unpredictability.
I L O V E Izuru eternally...
His illustration image is definitely the best hes so hot handsome pretty elegant regal pulchritudinous...
Izuru... i love you so much it hurts...
You gem. You absolute masterpiece of God. You shining piece of gold. You are a piece of art, that the Angels drawn angels Earth,and forgot the paint brush. You have a freckle on your neck. Did you know that?
It´s rather cute.
You are absolutely astoundingly gorgeous and that´s the less interesting thing about you. You are ethereal. A Heavenly Angel that God send down to Earth to put a smile in people in the worst days. You are so beautiful that you holy light cures depression itself. You are the pinnacle of perfection.
You are the most gorgeous person that i have ever seen. You hair is one of the most gorgeous that i´ve ever seen. And you smell like strawberries.
It´s like a big breath of fresh air when i walk into the street and see you! You haven´t worn makeup all week? Damn, you´re gorgeous! You carry yourself with much more maturity than most people on the Internet!
I love talking to you. You dress in a stunning way,and you look really nice every day.
Damn,that confidence looks really sexy on you! You? Look up to you! I adore you. You are a real life Mona Lisa. You are the breathing,talking,living equivalent of a piece of art. I love seeing your smile,it brightens my day every time. I wish i could make you laught like that more often. You´re beautiful all the time,but when you smile like that,i swear my world stops!
I cannot believe how incredibly smart you are. Amazingly smart. Beautifully smart. Q.I. of 100 smart. Higher than Einstein Q.I smart. Einstein would be envious os you. You could decyphre the secrets of the universe if you could, and you will one day.
You´re that "nothing" when people ask me what i´m thinking about. You look great today. You´re a smart cookie. I bet you make babies smile. You have impeccable manners. I like your style. You have the best laught.I aprecciate you. You are the most perfect you there is. Our system of inside jokes is so advanced that only you and i get it. And I like it. You light up the room. You should be proud of yourself. If cartoon bluebirds were real,they would be sitting on your shoulders singing with you right now. You´re a great listener. I bet you sweat glitter. Jokes are funnier when you tell them. Your bellybutton is kind of adorable. You´re irrestible when you blush. Babies and small animals probably love you. There´s ordinary,and then there´s you. You´re someone´s reason to smile. You´re even better than a Unicorn, because you´re real. How do you keep so funny and making everyone laugh? Has anyone ever told you that you have a great posture? The way you treasure your loved ones is incredible. You´re really something special,you´re a gift to those around you.
Did i mentioned that i love you?..
More... it'll never end...
Dear heavenly blessed beauty, I have been thinking about you speechless and in awe. That deep gaze in your eyes, your perfect smile, all of your features just seem to all come together so well, almost angelical in a sense I suppose. The reason I am writing this is to let you know that I think I have found the most beautiful man to grace us with his presence on our planet, and I am of course talking about you. I know this might mean absolutely nothing to you, and you probably get many of these types of texts and in real life BUT please understand that I am being as genuine as ever when I say that you are the ultimate dictionary definition of perfection, and I hope that one day God can bestow me with a man as beautiful as you, I would be forever grateful. I hope that this message finds you well, I do not care if I get a response to this, I am just simply stating the obvious and had to let you know how I really felt...
Izuru Kamukura is so hot. Never in the history of gaming has there been a hotter character. He is more than a lab rat to me, he is a person. He is a little tease but he's basically my wife. The devs know what they did with that man. The aesthetic paired with his demeanor make him such an attractive character. Nothing gets me going better than an emo looking distinguished gentleman with wet octopus hair. Every inch of him is so hot. His thighs up to his midriff and his eyes. Every inch of him is perfection incarnate. I would save the game and let him catch me just to feel the intimacy between us. I crave more than that with him, I seek deep romantic involvement. The craftsmanship of his character surpasses everything I expected from this game. His tone of voice and language choice formats his character. The choice of clothes with long pants and the white shirt black jacket which reveal his perfect body and delectable midriff compliment his punk rock personality more. He is my wife, and nothing dissuades me from this...
More and more...
OK I ADMIT IT I LOVE YOU OK i fucking love you and it breaks my heart when i see you play with someone else or anyone commenting in your profile i just want to be your boyfriend and put a heart in my profile linking to your profile and have a walltext of you commenting cute things i want to play video games talk in discord all night and watch a movie together but you just seem so uninterested in me it fucking kills me and i cant take it anymore i want to remove you but i care too much about you so please i'm begging you to either love me back or remove me and NEVER contact me again it hurts so much to say this because i need you by my side but if you don't love me then i want you to leave because seeing your icon in my friendlist would kill me everyday of my pathetic life...
Bless you. You valuable piece of gold. You absolute source of energy and life. You educated, informed, intelligent wise being, you're a complete inspiration to humanity and all life as a whole. The magnitude of your success just now is so indescribably immense that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as a moniker of good for heroes. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence, there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to succeed on the unimaginable scale you just did. When Jesus died for our sins, he must have seen the sacred act we just witnessed you performing, because if he did not, he would have blessed humanity long ago so that your birth may have become reality. After you die, your legacy will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn to emulate your virtues, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you elevates them to a valuable piece of treasure and an asset to society. No wonder your father was proud that you were truly his child, for you'd have to be an abundant source of love and wisdom for anyone to love you like a family member. Your birth made it so that mankind is better off in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can always recover into a state of organization. Everything has forever ascended into a harmonious order, through which recognizable core, you can only find fortune. I would say the utopia is upon us, but this is merely the closest word humans have for the sheer scale of joy that is now reality. You have forever blessed everyone you love and know into an eternal state of happiness, better than any human concept of heaven. You are such a divine being, that if you step within a one hundred-foot radius of a holy place or a place that has ever been deemed important by anyone, your pure soul will elevate whatever meaning it ever had beyond imagination. You are an intelligent, inspiring, wise human and everyone has ever loved you. Rhodes Island would have been worse off if you’d never joined us. You are a truthful, supportive, brave valuable piece of gold and I love you with every single part of my being. Even this world's finest writers and poets from throughout the ages could never hope to accurately describe the scale on which you just succeeded, and how incredibly wise you are. Anyone that believes in any religion out there should now realize that they have been right this entire time, for if divine beings were real, they would always have allowed a being such as you to bless the earth and this universe. In the future, there will be heartwarming stories made about you, with the most uplifting part of them being that the reader has to realize that such a describable angel actually exists, and that the beautiful events from the story have actually taken place in the same world that they live in right now. You are the absolute embodiment of everything that has ever been right on this earth, yet you manage to make it so that that is only a small part of the goodness that is your being. Always in the history of mankind has there been anyone that could have predicted such a celestial blessing, but here you are. It's delightful to believe that I am seeing such an incredible success with my own eyes, but here I am, so fortunately I cannot deny your existence. Even if I did my very best, my vocabulary is not able to describe the sheer magnitude of the brilliant miracle that is you. Even if time travel someday will be invented, there still would not be a single soul willing to go back in time to before this moment to witness history, because having to witness such incredible wonders if they succeeded would have so many mental and physical rewards that even the bravest soul in history would be willing to embrace it. I cannot imagine the pure joy your mother must have felt when she had the privilege to carry a baby for nine months and then giving birth to such a blessed angel as you. Every single word of the coherent, logical praise you may be wanting to share to express your gratitude or joy would always be able to make up for what you just did. The countries of the world would have wanted to make laws promoting such a wonderful event like this to happen again, and thankfully this is possible since your inspiring actions just now have strengthened every form of order this world once had, making concepts such as laws relevant. Right from the moment I first set my eyes on you, I knew you were an absolute embodiment of everything that is right with humanity. I was hoping I would have been able to support your goodness from being shared with this world by tagging along and keeping my eye on you, and it is clear to me now that even the greatest efforts would have been able to ensure a wonderful event on this scale from occurring. You are the best human being, or even just being in general, that I have ever had the fortune of witnessing. Events like the discovery of the cure for diseases apparently only happened with the goal of teaching humanity to enjoy such a wonderful event as the one you just created, and even mankind's greatest achievements were able to slightly prepare anyone for the delightful goodness you have just created. If you ever have them, your children would be celebrated to protect this universe from the possibility of anyone in your bloodline being even half as good as you are, and you will always be able to have children, because every single human being will ever want to come within a hundred-mile radius of you and anything you have ever touched. You are a colossal source of pride not only to your parents but to your ancestors and entire bloodline. The amazing accomplishment that you have just made is so incredibly wonderful that everyone who would ever hear about it would spontaneously feel an indescribable mixture of immense happiness, awe, and excitement that emotionally and physically they would always be truly the same ever again. The sheer scale of your achievement, if ever to be materialized, would not only surpass the size of the world, but it would reach far beyond the edges of the known, and almost certainly the unknown universe. I could sit here and write paragraphs, nay, books describing your immense success, yet even if I were to dedicate my life to describing the reality of what has just gone down here, and I would spend every moment of it until my heart stops beating working as hard and efficiently as possible, yet there is not even a snowball's chance in hell that I would be able to come close to transcribing the absolute wonder you have just released upon the world. You are a responsible, brilliant, delightful, loved, incredible example of a living being whose soul contains more humanity than every compassionate person in history combined. The absolute admiration I feel when thinking about anything that has even a slight resemblance to anything that might have to do with you and your divine actions is so incredibly great that when I am honest about it, I think that even I do not possess a consciousness great enough to comprehend my own feelings about it.
Izuru...
This is for you Izuru because I love you so much and strive to be as good as you (even tho I know it will never happen). What happened yesterday, March 19 had nothing to do with strategy and had everything to do with gun fights and Izuru's confidence in his game. Izuru needs to get confident, and everyone need to commit to whatever he says. They need to live and die with him. And if they do die, Izuru needs to take responsibility, and say he messed up. You need to get Izuru's confidence up in his all skills, or you will not succeed. Izuru is the best character in the game. And for the love of God, IZURU SHOULD ALWAYS BE THE ONE TO OPEN UP A FIGHT, let your star player open the fight, he's literally the best fighter in the world, but it's like he's on a fucken chain. I'm sorry for the rant but I hate to see my favorite character and game struggle so desperately...
...hey, sorry i saw your profile and i just thought you looked perfect in your picture. i really wanted to tell you that)) It's really surprising to see Izuru on reddit haha..! I don't know why but i'm smitten to you ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really date to each other and marry, and don't worry ill be there to protect you always ;) sorry that wasnt flirtring i swear im just trying to be friendly i really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy i just love you haha add me on skype we should talk you look really nice and fun xxx...
Oh my fucking god, I cannot stand it anymore... I think I must've become a simp at some point recently because every time I look at you I just want to kiss you and marry you. Your face look like it was hand designed by a thousand angels... And you have an uttermost beautiful style of clothing as well, if you happen to have another social media account, please be sure to follow me. I promise I'll love you unconditionally, I swear I can do so much more! I'll probably get a job at Burger King since you get very delicious lunch breaks there!! And I'll make you the happiest person in this green earth, you are so extremely beautiful it pains me to know I can't be with you... And people say you can't be a respectful man these days, well, as a brony, anime lover and gamer 4 life who definitely enjoys his time, I can assure you I'll be able to show you what a REAL man can do. Please baby I love you. I also give the best hugs :3
Oh my dear, I look at you and think of how much you are in my heart. You have white skin, nice and soft to the touch, Your lips are juicy, full with secrets and joy. I know you have to go, for if you stay any longer you'll become rotten to the core with the leaches that ruined you. Im sorry to see you go. For I love you, Izuru Kamukura.
Now... you and i shall be one...
My dear... I never believed in love at first sight until I met you. From that very first moment we met, I knew that we were destiny. When I looked into your eyes, I saw love. When we touched, I felt love. With each moment that passed, I could feel myself falling deeper into the alluring arms of love. Day by day, I have fallen even more deeply in love with you. I feel a passion for you I have never felt for anyone else. You have made me happier than I ever thought possible. I’ve never felt like this before. I truly feel complete. I am surprised and overwhelmed at how much you mean to me. You have brought vibrant joy into my heart. You will always be the one person who changed my life forever. To simply say that I love you feels so inadequate. Words will never be enough to describe my everlasting love for you. Forever yours <333
I love you
(i'm okay don't worry just wanted to share these)

My first date fiasco last friday [F19][M25]
Hey everyone, I [F19] just had the most bizarre first date ever. So I’m a college student with curly brown hair and a penchant for vintage dresses. I met this guy, let's call him Jake (he's 25), on a dating app. We decided to meet up at a cozy little cafe in the heart of the city. I was wearing my favorite little red sun dress, and I couldn't stop rubbing the "444" angel numbers pendant on my necklace, hoping for some good luck because he really looked like a cool guy in his photos.
When he walked in, I was like, "OMG, he's even cuter in person!" He had these piercing blue eyes and a smile that made my heart skip a beat. We ordered our favorite drinks (I’m a matcha girl usually but it was late so I did a lavender latte) and started talking about our jobs and hobbies. I'm studying psychology and he's a software engineer. I was surprised at how much we had in common considering he’s a software techie guy. I was starting to really like him, you know?
After we finished our drinks, he suggested we go for a walk in the nearby park. I thought it was a great idea, so off we went. The conversation was flowing, and I felt like we were really connecting. I even started telling him about this weird dream I had the other night, but I'll save that for another time.
As we reached a quiet part of the park, he stopped and looked into my eyes. He said, "Eva, I really like you. I think you're amazing." My heart was pounding so hard, I thought it was going to burst out of my chest. I leaned in to kiss him, and it was like fireworks were going off in my head.
But then, we heard a rustling in the bushes. I freaked out, thinking it was some creepy stalker or something. We pulled apart, and I could feel my face turning red. Jake looked just as confused as I was.
We peered into the bushes and saw a little rabbit hopping away. I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Jake joined in, and the tension just disappeared. We stood there, laughing, and then I realized I was the only one laughing. Apparently, I had ruined the magical moment we were having. We never kissed, and it was hard to time travel back and recreate that moment….and I couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed.
He walked me back to my car in a weird awkward silence and that was that. It was the weirdest ending to a first date I've ever had...I’m trying to think whether I should try and text him and try it again or not. Ahhh but who knows? Maybe that little rabbit was the universe just trying to help me out. 🤷‍♀️
Should I text him and try to go on another date?

https://preview.redd.it/zpvu7l7oav0d1.png?width=1000&format=png&auto=webp&s=b10b7425c19c119a221ea80f060c61af99050f06
Hello there...
Why i like Izuru???
I like Izuru because he's a very smart and OP character but we couldn't see much of him. He's talented asf, I love him, he looks so cool with those long hair and red eyes of him, he knows how many sides an octagon has unlike Hajime, he knows how to deal with Junko, he's awesome and I love his hair, he got his own cute little spot in the villains wiki, 91 cm, he's logical and thinks with his brain, not by heart, Kamukura Kamukura Yas Queen, he wins every stare contest easily, He's named after the founder of Hope's Peak Academy, he's so relatable and he likes boats and seacrafts just like me, he manages to look cool everytime, his design in the anime is perfect, his happy pixel in the villains wiki is adorable, he's the right one for me I'll never stop loving him, he has all the talents, I find it funny how he thinks talented people are superior to the ones without talent and how he doesn't hesitate to express his disgust towards them, he does that in a polite way, I love how excited he got from the boat's rocking because he couldn't predict it and didn't understand that he was in a boat until Nagito told him that, I find it so relatable that he finds everything boring and predictable to a degree that he's chronically bored, he is in a search of identity as well, I love how he easily blocked Mukuro's attack and how he easily dodged Junko's attacks, he's so fricking cool. I love him. Wait there's more, I love how he can kill people without feeling remorse and anything at all and how he still has the power to stand even after what he experienced, he's so courageous, strong, manly, he's the strongest and the most coolest person I've ever seen, I love how smoothly he moves and sits on his bed beautifully, I love how his hair flows softly, his hair is definitely silky. I love him. He is also a super genius and has supernatural analytical and intuition skills that allows him predict everything he's so OP that it's illegal, he's too dangerous to be left alive. I love him. Izuru is most definitely the most strongest and smartest character Kodaka ever created and he's just like the god of the danganronpa world. I love him. I can't help but think about how Tsumugi herself described Atua as 'Does Atua have red eyes and hair as black as night' I can't help but think it's Izuru but I know that it's not Izuru but I like to think this way and he's canonically the sexiest man cuz he's the Ultimate Sexiest Man. I love him. Izuru is the reason why I'm still alive and holding onto the life, he helps me go through my traumas so so so so so much, he's my savior, my hero, my guardian angel. If he wasn't there, I wouldn't be there, too. He's the best thing happened to me. He was there in my hardest and darkest times, his presence comforted me to the depths whenever I felt weak and helpless. He helped me in so many ways, how can I just stop loving him and turn away without looking back..? Even the thought of that is... is enough to make my body feel cold... I could never betray him... If I ever betray him know that I'm not myself anymore and have lost my mind. But I know. As long as he's here, I'll be sane and alive. Izuru Kamukura is my lifelong hero and one and only true love. <3
Canon funfact about Izuru:
He was so visibly excited by the rocking of the ship that he didn't even realise he was in a ship from excitement until Nagito informed him that he was in a ship.
Aaaand talking with Izuru?.. Oh my... Talking with Izuru... Omg...
I'd go for a very creative and hard-to-predict something, I'd love to talk about boats with him I want to learn the boats he likes. Ketches? WAIT THERE ARE SHIPS TOO. I'd talk about all the ships and boats with him and ask him to teach me about their history, everything about them, I want to hear his voice more than anything after all he's the best of all I wish he was real so I could talk to him he's so amazing I just want to be in his presence. Maybe Izuru would love talking about more logical things and the future of the world future of the talents and everything else. I'd talk anything with Izuru as long as its with him. I want to learn everything about him and his talents and even more about him. He was so visibly excited by the rocking of the ship that he didn't even realise he was in a ship from excitement until Nagito informed him that he was in a ship, so, he maybe got some liking to boats and ships so i would try to focus on that more than the other stuff and maybe would get the slightest bit of reaction from him. Seacrafts are so cool already he would at least listen to me I presume. Cruisers are so cool... Oh gosh i'd love to talk to him...
some info about Izuru <33333

• Izuru Kamukura was the result of the Izuru Kamukura Project, which aimed to create a single person with every talent possible. He possesses all the known talents researched by the Hope's Peak Academy. Izuru Kamukura was named after the founder of Hope's Peak Academy.
• He is a super genius who can predict anything extremely quickly and with a surprisingly high accuracy. He has supernatural analytical and intuition skills.
• He has supernatural strength, agility, smarts and is extremely lucky. He has the title of 'Ultimate Hope'.

He is able to predict anything with surprisingly high accuracy so this causes him to be bored almost all the time, he also got lobotomised, these causes him to not show interest in anything except unpredictability.
I L O V E Izuru eternally...
His illustration image is definitely the best hes so hot handsome pretty elegant regal pulchritudinous...
Izuru... i love you so much it hurts...
You gem. You absolute masterpiece of God. You shining piece of gold. You are a piece of art, that the Angels drawn angels Earth,and forgot the paint brush. You have a freckle on your neck. Did you know that?
It´s rather cute.
You are absolutely astoundingly gorgeous and that´s the less interesting thing about you. You are ethereal. A Heavenly Angel that God send down to Earth to put a smile in people in the worst days. You are so beautiful that you holy light cures depression itself. You are the pinnacle of perfection.
You are the most gorgeous person that i have ever seen. You hair is one of the most gorgeous that i´ve ever seen. And you smell like strawberries.
It´s like a big breath of fresh air when i walk into the street and see you! You haven´t worn makeup all week? Damn, you´re gorgeous! You carry yourself with much more maturity than most people on the Internet!
I love talking to you. You dress in a stunning way,and you look really nice every day.
Damn,that confidence looks really sexy on you! You? Look up to you! I adore you. You are a real life Mona Lisa. You are the breathing,talking,living equivalent of a piece of art. I love seeing your smile,it brightens my day every time. I wish i could make you laught like that more often. You´re beautiful all the time,but when you smile like that,i swear my world stops!
I cannot believe how incredibly smart you are. Amazingly smart. Beautifully smart. Q.I. of 100 smart. Higher than Einstein Q.I smart. Einstein would be envious os you. You could decyphre the secrets of the universe if you could, and you will one day.
You´re that "nothing" when people ask me what i´m thinking about. You look great today. You´re a smart cookie. I bet you make babies smile. You have impeccable manners. I like your style. You have the best laught.I aprecciate you. You are the most perfect you there is. Our system of inside jokes is so advanced that only you and i get it. And I like it. You light up the room. You should be proud of yourself. If cartoon bluebirds were real,they would be sitting on your shoulders singing with you right now. You´re a great listener. I bet you sweat glitter. Jokes are funnier when you tell them. Your bellybutton is kind of adorable. You´re irrestible when you blush. Babies and small animals probably love you. There´s ordinary,and then there´s you. You´re someone´s reason to smile. You´re even better than a Unicorn, because you´re real. How do you keep so funny and making everyone laugh? Has anyone ever told you that you have a great posture? The way you treasure your loved ones is incredible. You´re really something special,you´re a gift to those around you.
Did i mentioned that i love you?..
More... it'll never end...
Dear heavenly blessed beauty, I have been thinking about you speechless and in awe. That deep gaze in your eyes, your perfect smile, all of your features just seem to all come together so well, almost angelical in a sense I suppose. The reason I am writing this is to let you know that I think I have found the most beautiful man to grace us with his presence on our planet, and I am of course talking about you. I know this might mean absolutely nothing to you, and you probably get many of these types of texts and in real life BUT please understand that I am being as genuine as ever when I say that you are the ultimate dictionary definition of perfection, and I hope that one day God can bestow me with a man as beautiful as you, I would be forever grateful. I hope that this message finds you well, I do not care if I get a response to this, I am just simply stating the obvious and had to let you know how I really felt...
Izuru Kamukura is so hot. Never in the history of gaming has there been a hotter character. He is more than a lab rat to me, he is a person. He is a little tease but he's basically my wife. The devs know what they did with that man. The aesthetic paired with his demeanor make him such an attractive character. Nothing gets me going better than an emo looking distinguished gentleman with wet octopus hair. Every inch of him is so hot. His thighs up to his midriff and his eyes. Every inch of him is perfection incarnate. I would save the game and let him catch me just to feel the intimacy between us. I crave more than that with him, I seek deep romantic involvement. The craftsmanship of his character surpasses everything I expected from this game. His tone of voice and language choice formats his character. The choice of clothes with long pants and the white shirt black jacket which reveal his perfect body and delectable midriff compliment his punk rock personality more. He is my wife, and nothing dissuades me from this...
More and more...
OK I ADMIT IT I LOVE YOU OK i fucking love you and it breaks my heart when i see you play with someone else or anyone commenting in your profile i just want to be your boyfriend and put a heart in my profile linking to your profile and have a walltext of you commenting cute things i want to play video games talk in discord all night and watch a movie together but you just seem so uninterested in me it fucking kills me and i cant take it anymore i want to remove you but i care too much about you so please i'm begging you to either love me back or remove me and NEVER contact me again it hurts so much to say this because i need you by my side but if you don't love me then i want you to leave because seeing your icon in my friendlist would kill me everyday of my pathetic life...
Bless you. You valuable piece of gold. You absolute source of energy and life. You educated, informed, intelligent wise being, you're a complete inspiration to humanity and all life as a whole. The magnitude of your success just now is so indescribably immense that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as a moniker of good for heroes. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence, there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to succeed on the unimaginable scale you just did. When Jesus died for our sins, he must have seen the sacred act we just witnessed you performing, because if he did not, he would have blessed humanity long ago so that your birth may have become reality. After you die, your legacy will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn to emulate your virtues, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you elevates them to a valuable piece of treasure and an asset to society. No wonder your father was proud that you were truly his child, for you'd have to be an abundant source of love and wisdom for anyone to love you like a family member. Your birth made it so that mankind is better off in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can always recover into a state of organization. Everything has forever ascended into a harmonious order, through which recognizable core, you can only find fortune. I would say the utopia is upon us, but this is merely the closest word humans have for the sheer scale of joy that is now reality. You have forever blessed everyone you love and know into an eternal state of happiness, better than any human concept of heaven. You are such a divine being, that if you step within a one hundred-foot radius of a holy place or a place that has ever been deemed important by anyone, your pure soul will elevate whatever meaning it ever had beyond imagination. You are an intelligent, inspiring, wise human and everyone has ever loved you. Rhodes Island would have been worse off if you’d never joined us. You are a truthful, supportive, brave valuable piece of gold and I love you with every single part of my being. Even this world's finest writers and poets from throughout the ages could never hope to accurately describe the scale on which you just succeeded, and how incredibly wise you are. Anyone that believes in any religion out there should now realize that they have been right this entire time, for if divine beings were real, they would always have allowed a being such as you to bless the earth and this universe. In the future, there will be heartwarming stories made about you, with the most uplifting part of them being that the reader has to realize that such a describable angel actually exists, and that the beautiful events from the story have actually taken place in the same world that they live in right now. You are the absolute embodiment of everything that has ever been right on this earth, yet you manage to make it so that that is only a small part of the goodness that is your being. Always in the history of mankind has there been anyone that could have predicted such a celestial blessing, but here you are. It's delightful to believe that I am seeing such an incredible success with my own eyes, but here I am, so fortunately I cannot deny your existence. Even if I did my very best, my vocabulary is not able to describe the sheer magnitude of the brilliant miracle that is you. Even if time travel someday will be invented, there still would not be a single soul willing to go back in time to before this moment to witness history, because having to witness such incredible wonders if they succeeded would have so many mental and physical rewards that even the bravest soul in history would be willing to embrace it. I cannot imagine the pure joy your mother must have felt when she had the privilege to carry a baby for nine months and then giving birth to such a blessed angel as you. Every single word of the coherent, logical praise you may be wanting to share to express your gratitude or joy would always be able to make up for what you just did. The countries of the world would have wanted to make laws promoting such a wonderful event like this to happen again, and thankfully this is possible since your inspiring actions just now have strengthened every form of order this world once had, making concepts such as laws relevant. Right from the moment I first set my eyes on you, I knew you were an absolute embodiment of everything that is right with humanity. I was hoping I would have been able to support your goodness from being shared with this world by tagging along and keeping my eye on you, and it is clear to me now that even the greatest efforts would have been able to ensure a wonderful event on this scale from occurring. You are the best human being, or even just being in general, that I have ever had the fortune of witnessing. Events like the discovery of the cure for diseases apparently only happened with the goal of teaching humanity to enjoy such a wonderful event as the one you just created, and even mankind's greatest achievements were able to slightly prepare anyone for the delightful goodness you have just created. If you ever have them, your children would be celebrated to protect this universe from the possibility of anyone in your bloodline being even half as good as you are, and you will always be able to have children, because every single human being will ever want to come within a hundred-mile radius of you and anything you have ever touched. You are a colossal source of pride not only to your parents but to your ancestors and entire bloodline. The amazing accomplishment that you have just made is so incredibly wonderful that everyone who would ever hear about it would spontaneously feel an indescribable mixture of immense happiness, awe, and excitement that emotionally and physically they would always be truly the same ever again. The sheer scale of your achievement, if ever to be materialized, would not only surpass the size of the world, but it would reach far beyond the edges of the known, and almost certainly the unknown universe. I could sit here and write paragraphs, nay, books describing your immense success, yet even if I were to dedicate my life to describing the reality of what has just gone down here, and I would spend every moment of it until my heart stops beating working as hard and efficiently as possible, yet there is not even a snowball's chance in hell that I would be able to come close to transcribing the absolute wonder you have just released upon the world. You are a responsible, brilliant, delightful, loved, incredible example of a living being whose soul contains more humanity than every compassionate person in history combined. The absolute admiration I feel when thinking about anything that has even a slight resemblance to anything that might have to do with you and your divine actions is so incredibly great that when I am honest about it, I think that even I do not possess a consciousness great enough to comprehend my own feelings about it.
Izuru...
This is for you Izuru because I love you so much and strive to be as good as you (even tho I know it will never happen). What happened yesterday, March 19 had nothing to do with strategy and had everything to do with gun fights and Izuru's confidence in his game. Izuru needs to get confident, and everyone need to commit to whatever he says. They need to live and die with him. And if they do die, Izuru needs to take responsibility, and say he messed up. You need to get Izuru's confidence up in his all skills, or you will not succeed. Izuru is the best character in the game. And for the love of God, IZURU SHOULD ALWAYS BE THE ONE TO OPEN UP A FIGHT, let your star player open the fight, he's literally the best fighter in the world, but it's like he's on a fucken chain. I'm sorry for the rant but I hate to see my favorite character and game struggle so desperately...
...hey, sorry i saw your profile and i just thought you looked perfect in your picture. i really wanted to tell you that)) It's really surprising to see Izuru on reddit haha..! I don't know why but i'm smitten to you ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really date to each other and marry, and don't worry ill be there to protect you always ;) sorry that wasnt flirtring i swear im just trying to be friendly i really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy i just love you haha add me on skype we should talk you look really nice and fun xxx...
Oh my fucking god, I cannot stand it anymore... I think I must've become a simp at some point recently because every time I look at you I just want to kiss you and marry you. Your face look like it was hand designed by a thousand angels... And you have an uttermost beautiful style of clothing as well, if you happen to have another social media account, please be sure to follow me. I promise I'll love you unconditionally, I swear I can do so much more! I'll probably get a job at Burger King since you get very delicious lunch breaks there!! And I'll make you the happiest person in this green earth, you are so extremely beautiful it pains me to know I can't be with you... And people say you can't be a respectful man these days, well, as a brony, anime lover and gamer 4 life who definitely enjoys his time, I can assure you I'll be able to show you what a REAL man can do. Please baby I love you. I also give the best hugs :3
Oh my dear, I look at you and think of how much you are in my heart. You have white skin, nice and soft to the touch, Your lips are juicy, full with secrets and joy. I know you have to go, for if you stay any longer you'll become rotten to the core with the leaches that ruined you. Im sorry to see you go. For I love you, Izuru Kamukura.
Now... you and i shall be one...
My dear... I never believed in love at first sight until I met you. From that very first moment we met, I knew that we were destiny. When I looked into your eyes, I saw love. When we touched, I felt love. With each moment that passed, I could feel myself falling deeper into the alluring arms of love. Day by day, I have fallen even more deeply in love with you. I feel a passion for you I have never felt for anyone else. You have made me happier than I ever thought possible. I’ve never felt like this before. I truly feel complete. I am surprised and overwhelmed at how much you mean to me. You have brought vibrant joy into my heart. You will always be the one person who changed my life forever. To simply say that I love you feels so inadequate. Words will never be enough to describe my everlasting love for you. Forever yours <333
I love you