I watched the Babylon Bee's "Woke Jesus" comedy video, which I'm guessing the folks around here would probably have objections to.
But anyway, are both the "progressive" and "conservative" sides equally guilty of projecting their own values on Jesus?
Or can one side fairly claim to be more "authentic" to the original message?
Should we even look to a first century religious figure for all the answers to modern society's problems?
Did Jesus really give much instruction when it came to political principles, or was he just focused on an individual morality?
If he didn't explicitly comment on things like abortion rights, or gun rights, can we have any confidence what his position would be?

Last summer, my best friend was housesitting for about a week for her another friend and that friend's wealthy family. They had a massive aquarium tank, eight feet tall with thick glass, almost as big as a room. It was only fish inside and nothing else. One night while storming, she wanted to go and swim in the tank. She absolutely loves fish and aquatic life. She got changed into some elastic shorts and a tank, turned off all the lights in the house, and with a towel walked barefoot up the small staircase that led to the top of the aquarium tank -- her heart beating really fast with excitement. The top of the tank was already open, wide enough for her to more than easily fit through.
After she raised her arms over her head, she plunged into the water. The water was deep enough that she didn't hit the bottom but her body went horizontal upon landing in the water. She said doing so was such a rush and that it was so warm and relaxing. While she swam underwater in the tank, lightning flashes lit up the inside. She said it was the most romantic thing she ever did, it was so quiet and peaceful underwater with the fish. She said she could feel the loud thunder's vibrations from outside in the water but felt safe from the storm in the tank. Although I feel that her turning off the lights in the house was a bit unnecessary. But she did what she did. I was a bit jealous of her doing that because it sounded so fun.

So I've been doing BJJ since 2017(purple belt) but the last month or so ive been getting some very back of my head thoughts that I'm low-key losing interest and i noticed I've been basically on autopilot during class lately, at times i completely space out and finally I don't feel satisfied after rolls at times. I've been wanting to take some judo after a friend introduced some moves to me and suggested I drop BJJ for judo. What do you folks think I should do? I'm at a dilemma I feel this way about BJJ lately but I don't want to quit but I've noticed I've been really into doing throws or attempting to do them during rolling or drilling them on the side with the crash pad in my gym when time allows. Anyone else who was in BJJ felt this way? Did you folks end up quitting or did you get over this feeling?
Ps. any recommendations for judo classes or schools in Arizona specifically the Phoenix,Scottsdale or Tempe area?

“Either in hiding or dead eh?” Steelblade whispered. Sonora had gone into her parents room to tell her father about the attempt. He had found Meerkat curled up under her father’s wing and tail twinned with Steelblade’s. Sonora was surprised her mother could squish herself enough to fit under Steelblade’s wing. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s dead if I don’t know them.” Sonora’s father sighed. “Unfortunately, it’s our only lead.”
“We could search the continent again.” Sonora suggested. Her father looked uncertain.
“I don’t know.” He said quietly. “It’s an option but I won’t be able to explore the sea kingdom again. Coral hates me and.” Steelblade paused, looking at Meerkat under his wing with sympathy. “She needs me.”
“You need each other.” Sonora told her father. “It’s how you beat Talon before. Maybe if you 2 stay close, he’ll have a harder time getting you, giving us more time.” Steelblade looked uncertain.
“It’s not how I beat him last time.” He said with a sad look at Meerkat’s scar.
“Yes it is.” Sonora said, trying to convince her father. “You may both not have been fighting, but her injury is what gave you the determination to beat him.” Her father still looked skeptical.
“I just.” He started. “Don’t want her to get hurt because of him again.” Sonora could hear the pain in her father’s voice. Not only did Meerkat gain a scar because of Steeltalon. But her and Steelblade lost half their eggs to the steelwing. Sonora, Aster, and Steelstorm were the remainders.
“Do you think you’ll have more?” Sonora asked cautiously. Steelblade blinked his eyes with surprise.
“Where did that come from?” Her father asked.
“To feel young again?” Sonora suggested with laughter in her tone. She could hear her father chuckle.
“Well with Boron having a lover and you and your brothers getting older.” Steelblade started, a playful look in his eyes. “Maybe some more would make me and Meerkat feel young again.” He joked. Sonora giggled.
“Maybe they could repair the damage done by Talon.” Sonora said. Steelblade’s face darkened.
“I don’t think anything can fully repair Talon’s actions.” Steelblade said grimly. Sonora walked next to her father’s bed and laid one of her talons on his.
“When you kill his spirit.” Sonora started. “The wounds will start to heal.” Steelblade scoffed.
“The scars will start to heal.” He said. “Most of mine are from Talon. The only one not is the one along my side. Nothing can reverse the damage he’s done.”
“Only if you let the damage linger.” Sonora said, trying to comfort the battle scarred steelwing. “Surely there is a way to forget.” Steelblade snapped his head to look her in the eyes.
“There isn’t a way to forget what Talon did.” He growled softly. “He killed 3 of my dragonets. Your siblings. He’s given me more scars than anyone else, scarred your mother, and sent other dragons to hit our friends’ families.” Sonora flinched at his sudden change in tone and she saw a guilty look in his eyes. “Sorry.” Her father apologized. “I guess it’s harder for me because he took away both my parents from me and attempted to kill the new family I’ve built.” Steelblade’s face was plagued with grief and pain. Sonora hopped up next to him and laid next to him. He put his other wing over her.
“The scars can still heal.” Sonora said as she leaned into her father.
“I know but.” Steelblade started. “It’s hard to forget the things he’s done in an attempt to ruin my life.”
“And he isn’t done.” Sonora said. “So stay strong to make sure he doesn’t win.” Steelblade laid his chin on top of her head.
“I will always stay my strongest to protect my family.” Her father replied. “Talon won’t win.” Sonora hugged his neck.
“Remember, we’ll all here for you dad.” Sonora reminded him. “We will all try to help any way we can.”
“I know.” Her father responded. “If I knew any way they could help, I’d ask. But this……….. is a whole new threat.”
“We’ll still find ways to help.” Sonora said. She knew how stubborn her father could be.
“And that’s why these are my best years.” Steelblade said as he coiled what neck he had left around Sonora’s. “I have dragons to call family and friends.” They laid there hugging for a few minutes. “Now get out there and visit with them.” Steelblade told her. “There are dragons in the here and now you should be spending time with. Not an old fossil like me.” He joked. Sonora chuckled in response before she left.
“How is he?” Cavemaker asked after she closed her parents’ door.
“He’s fine.” Sonora replied. “Mother on the other talon, isn’t as fine. She’s worried sick about him.”
“Well Meerkat didn’t have many dragons close to her.” Strider commented. “Most of her time was her and Roadrunner before she came here. She doesn’t want to lose the dragon closest to her.” Strider finished off and twinned his talon with Cypress’s.
“I know I’d be worried if Cavemaker was being haunted by Nightblade.” Canary said as she leaned into the nightwing.
“He wouldn’t be able to.” Cavemaker scoffed. “He was only set on taking over the continent. He had no desire to ruin my life.”
“You could say he did.” Boron commented. “He did injure Canary.”
“Yeah. That’s why he wouldn’t be able to do anything to me.” Cavemaker said. “Different motives and the amount of resistance he’d feel.”
“Give Blade some credit.” Cypress cut in. “He’s trying his best to hold back Talon, but Talon has had weeks to gain power and he wants to actively ruin Blade’s life.” Cavemaker nodded but still seemed unconvinced.
“When did you get so serious?” Strider joked as he elbowed the nightwing. “That’s my job.” Cavemaker sighed with defeat.
“Because I feel the defensiveness and pressure of becoming a father growing more and more as the days go on.” Cavemaker replied. Canary leaned into him and put her wing over him.
“You’ll be a fantastic father.” Canary said with a comforting voice. “You are a fantastic fiancé and a fantastic friend. Don’t let pressure get to you.” Cavemaker nuzzled the skywing.
“And you bothered me and Strider about being fast.” Cypress joked at the nightwing, causing the rest to laugh.
“Yeah well.” Cavemaker started, playfulness breaking into his voice. “I can still bother Blade and Meerkat about it.” He said with a laugh.
“Well it’s getting late.” Jellyfish said. Sonora looked out the window and saw it was getting dark. “Should get some sleep before we go searching for answers.” Everyone nodded their agreement and split off to their rooms. Sonora laid down next to her brothers. Steelstorm was sleeping on top of Aster. Sonora chuckled and laid her head on her talons. “You still want a friend’s company?” She heard Jellyfish’s whisper.
“Please.” Sonora replied. She could hear the seawing lay next to her. This night however, Jellyfish put her tail over Sonora’s.

My boyfriend (19M) and I (20F) have been together for a year and a half. In the beginning, when any problem arise, we'd waste no time in talking to each other about it and we'd make sure we both don't go to bed upset. The conversations would be really understanding gentle and empathetic. He'd hold my hand and wipe my tears even when we haven't fixed the issue yet. He'd waste no time to bring me in for a hug at the first sight of me crying. Sometimes he'd cry when i cry. The thoughts in my head could escape my mouth so effortlessly when he'd listen to me while rubbing my back or just physically showing me that he is with me and that we aren't against each other. We'd never be fine with prolonging our ill feelings. Even though it took us a few arguments to get to where we were, we got there eventually :]
However recently, it has just been feeling way harder to talk to him about how I feel and I think it goes both ways. Sometimes I would get upset at the tone he is speaking to me in, and he'd explain that it's just the way he speaks. At this, I'd feel bad and that I was being sensitive and feel the need to apologize. Sometimes, when i bring up a problem, the tone he speaks in would change and it would scare me. I'd start trying really hard to make sure that he knows that I'm not against him, and that I just want to fix the issue. I'd voice out my concerns and sometimes it feels like he's taking it as attacks. I voice out because I value and care about our relationship. Instead of staying quiet, I chose to speak up about what's bothering me. If the assumptions I made were wrong I'd like for him to correct me and to reassure me. But many times, he'd get upset. I would again feel really bad for speaking up, start scrambling to make it very clear that I am not trying to fight him. I use to be really blunt and comfortable with telling him things but now I find myself second guessing and feeling scared. It's very hard for me to articulate my thoughts and to explain to a manner which he'd understand and sometimes I'd talk about how i feel for a good 5 minutes to be met with 'okay' and he'd go straight to asking me why i did certain things that upset him which i have no problems with asking and holding myself accountable for. I will give my apology where it is due and I want to give him what he deserves the best I can.
Last night, I made a mistake. During a heated arguement over the phone, the pace really started to pick up and he said "I can't-". Before he could finish, I cut him off by saying "you always do this" and hung. I was scared that he was going to say he needs time and space. I ended the call because I was scared of hearing that from him so I thought I'd leave first so it would hurt less. It didn't. It was wrong and hasty of me. That night, I was having trouble trying to sleep and just cried my eyes out after hanging up. I saw that he was online on steam which i was expecting. During the argument, he told me that his friend wanted to play with him at 9 (at this point it was around almost 11) and that he'd stayed because he feels guilty and that something is holding him back. At this, I was upset because I wish he'd told me earlier and that i wish he'd said "Actually my friend asked if I wanted to play with him but I'm not going to leave until we're fine or we talk this out" instead of not leaving because he feels guilty and something was holding him back as it made me feel really sad. He replied by saying that that's exactly what went through his head, it's just that he didn't say it/ it didn't come out of him.
But back to after the call ended, I cried and cried until 5am. I saw that he was online on steam (until before 5am) and automatically assumed that he was playing with his friend which I was glad about because I felt bad for his friend and him. I texted him to apologize for how things went last night and that it was wrong of me to end the call like that with that reason. I told him that i hope he got to play with his friend with a smiley face. I wished him a goodnight and sweet dreams and i told him i hope he knows how much i love him. I apologized again and told him I had no intentions to hurt him and that i was genuinely trying really hard to keep the conversation gentle and understanding. I thanked him for wanting to talk to me before playing with his friend if he did end up doing that and how i appreciate it a lot. I also asked him to text me when he's up and and that i love him again.
He replied to me at 12:30, after or during his class. This is what he replied to me with:
im sorry things went the way it did as well and i did see your tweets, its okay. i don't know how to feel about you hanging up because you were scared id say something along the lines of that and because that youd be left alone, it feels wrong, but i appreciate you telling me that. to be truthful, i feel mentally tired and overwhelmed, and im really feeling like i need some space.
I was really sad and worried that he didn't say he loves me back even though i said it twice. But i replied to him saying i understand, and i asked him if we will be fine. I also sent him this text:
and can we please find some time, maybe not today or tomorrow, to sit down and really talk it through with an open mind and heart?
I understand that you need space and that's what I am to give you but for now, i need reassurance on these things as i really cant handle no contact without at least reassurance please :/
I saw him typing, but I didn't get a reply and it's been almost 3 hours. For context, last week he did not reply to me for almost a day after an argument. I freaked out and called him no less than 100 times, asked his friwnds and sister where he went and if he's okay. They couldn't reach him (his sister had to get him through the house phone). He finally replied to me apologizing and we talked about the issue. I decided to be honest with him and in a long paragraph told him i dont do silence really well because it feels like he doesnt care or love me enough to wonder if im doing well because i was going crazy at the silence from his end(i said more but to make things short,). It was really bad to the point where i walked outside at night to distract myself and ended upvomitting on the side of the road. He said he understands and apoligized. He said it's the worse he's handled an argument and tried really hard to assure me that he loves me and we fine and back to normal. I felt okay and relieved at that point.
But now this is happening. I feel sad because it feels like he's forgotten about what i said last week. But at the same time, I feel really conflicted and I want to give him what he needs. I would do anything for our relationsip to be better. I want him to be happy. I'm trying my very hardest to be the best partner for him. I care about and value our relationship so much, and he still hasn't given me the reassurance i need in order to feel slightly fine about the distance. I do not know why and I'm spiralling worrying about why he hasn't replied to me.
I reallly want this relationship to work I love him so much and I know he loves me too. I acknowledge that things arent the same anymore and he might need different things now. I feel the key to this is to find a balance which we're struggling with. He is my best friend and makes me feel the most comfortable. I love being in my presence and he is my best friend. I wish to spend my whole life with this boy. Please help I tried so hard to keep myself together today and broke down in class :(

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We had been in an on and off relationship for a few months, and then completely went no contact for 1 month. During this month, I got to hear he kissed a few girls and I assumed he was sleeping with them. Out of spite and anger, I decided to sleep with a friend of mine. At the end of the 1 month, my ex and I met at a party again and came back to my house. He asked me if I had done anything with anyone else since we broke up and I told him yes that I had slept with someone. He was really hurt because he actually did not sleep with anyone during this phase. He wanted ti know a lot of details about what happened, and I needed time to think about it but I ended up blurting out a lie about who it was. Since then another month has passed by, and he kept asking me for reassurance and felt like I was lying to him and kept asking me for the truth, but I felt like telling him that I had lied would make it worse and he would leave again. A few days ago he somehow found out himself I had lied, and asked me about it and then I told him the truth of who it was and what had happened. I really did not want to hurt him, I just wanted to brush this whole situation under the rug because Im so ashamed by it. But he is so hurt and he says he can’t do this anymore and we can never bounce back from this. I completely understand his pain and I’m giving him some space right now to think, but I feel like I really fucked up here and broken his trust over something so stupid.

Hi. I've been coming to the keys for about 5 years now, but I've always flown into and stayed on Key West. For my honeymoon, my fiancé and I are driving down from Miami. We are spending a night in Marathon on our way down to Key West. So the plan is a full day from Miami to Marathon, and then better than a half day from Marathon to Key West. (Turning in the rental car at the airport at 6 pm) Our plan is to wake up and head to Bahia Honda on the day we make our trip to Key West from Marathon, and spend the morning and afternoon there before we continue down the islands. Right now our only other stop on the way from Marathon to Key West is Big Pine for No Name pub and maybe a hike. So we have realistically 7-8 hours to spend from our checkout in Marathon til our car drop off in Key West.
I know I want to visit Bahia Honda, but I've heard it has 3 beaches. Which is the best one to visit? What are the vibes of each one, if they are different? Is it plausible to visit multiple beaches on Bahia Honda and still enjoy them in our time frame? Do all of them have chair rentals? How about umbrella rentals?
I've seen pictures of Sombrero beach on Marathon, how does it compare? Is it worth carving out some of our time to visit there, or does it pale in comparison to Bahia Honda?

This is how things are falling apart, and coming together nicely for those who were tortured through tyrannical systems, and did not deserve it. Have faith in god, if it steers you towards the side of good vs evil, because it truly DOES matter. That is the great culling happening soon, and it wasn't a slaughter of every bad person, it was a sterilization, and being left behind, that the bad people get. The good people get to "ascend" into something much bigger than what we have created on earth. That was our great judgement. If you are good, you will "transcend our world", If you were bad, you will not.
The sterilization will happen soon because the alignment of the planets of the 2 or ???# distant species is stretching. We are going to lose contact soon in the coming years probably, but I am not sure when. It's all about saving the right souls, and leaving the wrong ones to rot in an endless loop of time, a spiral towards the center of a giant black hole, sucking in the rest of the galaxy. We will see the development of technologies that can never be used to save us now anyways, taking place. They will tell you everything you ever dreamed of knowing about fields and gravity and time, if you are staying on earth, because it no longer matters. We couldn't even devise the level of tech required to escape the "fields" now. They really were our last chance.
It's way too late for the people doing this to us, but please everyone, have hope for your own soul if you are truly good inside. I implore you to have faith in something bigger than what humanity can create. Let the goodness shine until it's over, because it WILL go noticed, just not by ourselves. The brighter you shine as a good person, the more likely you are to get access to a life raft on this sinking ship. Have faith in a higher power, and it really isn't humanity that you need to have faith in anymore.
https://www.reddit.com/Interfaced/

• Robert W. Christie

I wrote this as a comment originally in another sub, but I needed to rant more vocally and I felt like there’d be some sympathetic ears here.
I work at a gas station, and for some reason that translates into me not deserving nice things in America. I kinda had no idea how much our society fucking hates service workers till I started working here full-time back in January.
It’s honestly kind of fucked: half the people I work with have kids, and have worked here for years. I’m lucky in that I don’t have kids and am able to live with family for cheap rent, but this is very much not the norm at my place of work. We get paid on average between 17.50-19.50 an hour (in CA, where the cheapest rent you can find is a $1300/mo studio), we get to earn 4 PTO days a year (which are not guaranteed to be accepted when I request them, and no designated sick days), our hours are not guaranteed, we don’t have a retirement plan outside of the option to maybe put money into an IRA on our own initiative, and we can and will be let go even for basic mistakes at times (“right to work” my ass, fuck at-will employment). We technically have health insurance, but it’s both expensive and dogshit.
It’s crazy how little we learned from COVID too: if someone at my work gets sick, they usually have to come in. They can’t afford to miss a day, especially considering the CoL here in California. So, what happens is that one person (or their usually small children) will get sick, and then the rest of us also get sick and also have to come into work. Then we handle your food, your cash, your condoms, your cigarettes, your alcohol, and stand much less than 6 feet away from you at a register with no PPE provided.
During COVID, my co-workers (I was in college during COVID) had to come into work because they were ‘essential’. Yet, pretty much constantly we don’t get treated like we’re essential. Probably about 25ish percent of our customers treat us like fucking garbage. I’ve been screamed at before by customers for asking for ID (which is the law for selling tobacco/alcohol here), I’ve been screamed at for taking more than 30 seconds to get to a person in line, and I have had to do stuff that is not in my job description ranging from: administering first aid, playing therapist to people, car maintenance, sheltering people after severe car crashes when the highway patrol drops them off, scaring off meth-heads, and de-escalating potentially violent situations with drunk people who are pissed I can’t sell them alcohol at 3am on a Monday. Honestly, this job isn’t even that bad compared to many other places that employ service workers. If I go online and complain about any of this, I’ll have like, scores of people tell me, “well, you don’t work a real job, what do you expect?”
I’ve even had my own family tell me that my job isn’t a “real job”, and they’re not even assholes.
Personally, my response to anyone that tells me I don’t work a “real” job (and therefore don’t deserve things like a living wage or sick pay) is this: if you really think that, then try not getting gas, going to a grocery store, getting fast food, buying clothes, or any other service that requires service workers. Then tell me I don’t serve a necessary function in society, and don’t deserve benefits.
Edit: Don’t even get me started on our janitorial staff. The things those poor fuckers have to clean up in our restroom 3 times a day are fucking ludicrous. They get paid as much as I do, and have the same benefits. One of our janitors just finished her bachelor’s, and is currently getting her Master’s.
Edit 2: I have 4 associates degrees, and was one year away from finishing my double major at a T10 before I had to drop out due to medical reasons.
Edit 3: I just wanna share one of my co-worker’s experience, because it’s depressing as hell. She’s 26, and has two kids (6 and 2). She splits a small studio with her boyfriend. She works nights and watches the kids during the day, he works days and watches the kids at night. They both drive 40+ minutes to work, and need to upkeep two cars so that they can both get to their separate work spaces. She’s been so sick the last week that she’s hacking up mucus most of the day. She can’t take the day off, or she can’t make rent. She also cleans the coffee pots and other dishes, handles food, and is in close proximity to the rest of us. Naturally, everyone else in my workplace is now becoming sick (including me). The poor thing can wear a mask, but like… Jesus. This is fucking untenable. It’s shameful.

M/18 Radiologist says I could have mixed impingement on both sides, One orthopaedic specialist says I could have mixed impingement on both sides and other orthopaedic specialist who is specialised in hip surgery says I don’t have a typical case of FAI. Although, I don’t know if he means that I don’t have a typical case of FI in regards to my symptoms or the imaging. My symptoms include kneec lower back, SI Joint pain and tight glut and hip muscles. Only occasionally, I will have groin pain and catching of The hip joint. FADIR test is positive on both sides with the right side being worse And causing the symptoms I described above after test was performed.

I don't remember much about this game, but it was like a cheap version of a Total War strategy game. Similar to Total War, you were in charge of your cities and your army. However, the battles took place on a single screen: your army would come from the left side, and the enemy from the right. There wasn't much strategy involved in these fights, or maybe I was just bad at it since I never actually won.

TLDR: After almost 5 years of stability on Lamotrigine+Lithium, I am going through a mixed episode with more agitation than depression.
This is scary, as I was convinced that having been stable for so long meant the combo was definitely the right one.
However, compared to the mixed episode that led to my diagnosis, this one seems somewhat lighter on the purely depressive side (less feeling doom, no sh thoughts, and a general optimism that, however bad, it is just an episode).
I truly hope that I don't have to make medication changes. However my Lamictal is already at 200mg and the lithium levels are in the range.
Just asking for your experience/thoughts on this.
Thanks for your help.

My boyfriend (19) and I (20) have been together for a year and a half. In the beginning, when any problem arise, we'd waste no time in talking to each other about it and we'd make sure we both don't go to bed upset. The conversations would be really understanding gentle and empathetic. He'd hold my hand and wipe my tears even when we haven't fixed the issue yet. He'd waste no time to bring me in for a hug at the first sight of me crying. Sometimes he'd cry when i cry. The thoughts in my head could escape my mouth so effortlessly when he'd listen to me while rubbing my back or just physically showing me that he is with me and that we aren't against each other. We'd never be fine with prolonging our ill feelings. Even though it took us a few arguments to get to where we were, we got there eventually :]
However recently, it has just been feeling way harder to talk to him about how I feel and I think it goes both ways. Sometimes I would get upset at the tone he is speaking to me in, and he'd explain that it's just the way he speaks. At this, I'd feel bad and that I was being sensitive and feel the need to apologize. Sometimes, when i bring up a problem, the tone he speaks in would change and it would scare me. I'd start trying really hard to make sure that he knows that I'm not against him, and that I just want to fix the issue. I'd voice out my concerns and sometimes it feels like he's taking it as attacks. I voice out because I value and care about our relationship. Instead of staying quiet, I chose to speak up about what's bothering me. If the assumptions I made were wrong I'd like for him to correct me and to reassure me. But many times, he'd get upset. I would again feel really bad for speaking up, start scrambling to make it very clear that I am not trying to fight him. I use to be really blunt and comfortable with telling him things but now I find myself second guessing and feeling scared. It's very hard for me to articulate my thoughts and to explain to a manner which he'd understand and sometimes I'd talk about how i feel for a good 5 minutes to be met with 'okay' and he'd go straight to asking me why i did certain things that upset him which i have no problems with asking and holding myself accountable for. I will give my apology where it is due and I want to give him what he deserves the best I can.
Last night, I made a mistake. During a heated arguement over the phone, the pace really started to pick up and he said "I can't-". Before he could finish, I cut him off by saying "you always do this" and hung. I was scared that he was going to say he needs time and space. I ended the call because I was scared of hearing that from him so I thought I'd leave first so it would hurt less. It didn't. It was wrong and hasty of me. That night, I was having trouble trying to sleep and just cried my eyes out after hanging up. I saw that he was online on steam which i was expecting. During the argument, he told me that his friend wanted to play with him at 9 (at this point it was around almost 11) and that he'd stayed because he feels guilty and that something is holding him back. At this, I was upset because I wish he'd told me earlier and that i wish he'd said "Actually my friend asked if I wanted to play with him but I'm not going to leave until we're fine or we talk this out" instead of not leaving because he feels guilty and something was holding him back as it made me feel really sad. He replied by saying that that's exactly what went through his head, it's just that he didn't say it/ it didn't come out of him.
But back to after the call ended, I cried and cried until 5am. I saw that he was online on steam (until before 5am) and automatically assumed that he was playing with his friend which I was glad about because I felt bad for his friend and him. I texted him to apologize for how things went last night and that it was wrong of me to end the call like that with that reason. I told him that i hope he got to play with his friend with a smiley face. I wished him a goodnight and sweet dreams and i told him i hope he knows how much i love him. I apologized again and told him I had no intentions to hurt him and that i was genuinely trying really hard to keep the conversation gentle and understanding. I thanked him for wanting to talk to me before playing with his friend if he did end up doing that and how i appreciate it a lot. I also asked him to text me when he's up and and that i love him again.
He replied to me at 12:30, after or during his class. This is what he replied to me with:
im sorry things went the way it did as well and i did see your tweets, its okay. i don't know how to feel about you hanging up because you were scared id say something along the lines of that and because that youd be left alone, it feels wrong, but i appreciate you telling me that. to be truthful, i feel mentally tired and overwhelmed, and im really feeling like i need some space.
I was really sad and worried that he didn't say he loves me back even though i said it twice. But i replied to him saying i understand, and i asked him if we will be fine. I also sent him this text:
and can we please find some time, maybe not today or tomorrow, to sit down and really talk it through with an open mind and heart?
I understand that you need space and that's what I am to give you but for now, i need reassurance on these things as i really cant handle no contact without at least reassurance please :/
I saw him typing, but I didn't get a reply and it's been almost 3 hours. For context, last week he did not reply to me for almost a day after an argument. I freaked out and called him no less than 100 times, asked his friwnds and sister where he went and if he's okay. They couldn't reach him (his sister had to get him through the house phone). He finally replied to me apologizing and we talked about the issue. I decided to be honest with him and in a long paragraph told him i dont do silence really well because it feels like he doesnt care or love me enough to wonder if im doing well because i was going crazy at the silence from his end(i said more but to make things short,). It was really bad to the point where i walked outside at night to distract myself and ended upvomitting on the side of the road. He said he understands and apoligized. He said it's the worse he's handled an argument and tried really hard to assure me that he loves me and we fine and back to normal. I felt okay and relieved at that point.
But now this is happening. I feel sad because it feels like he's forgotten about what i said last week. But at the same time, I feel really conflicted and I wan't to give him what he needs if that's what he wants. I would do anything for our relationsip to be better. I want him to be happy. I'm trying my very hardest to be the best partner for him. I care about and value our relationship so much, and he still hasn't given me the reassurance i need in order to feel slightly fine about the distance. I do not know why and I'm spiralling worrying about why he hasn't replied to me.
I reallly want this relationship to work I love him so much and I know he loves me too. I acknowledge that things arent the same anymore and he might need different things now. I feel the key to this is to find a balance which we're struggling with. He is my best friend and makes me feel the most comfortable. I love being in my presence and he is my best friend. I wish to spend my whole life with this boy. Please help I tried so hard to keep myself together today and broke down in class :(

I'm not sure if incels are a very outlandish concept here in SG. I'm not proud of being an incel and I never thought that I would become one. However, I do believe that one day I will get past this phase.
For context, I think I have it slightly better than most incels. I'd say my face looks below average, but I'm a lot taller than the average guy in SG, slightly above 190cm, am decently well built since I've been hitting the gym for over a year, am financially stable thanks to my savings, side income and family background.
So you must be thinking: I have everything a 23 year old could want in life. I ORDed around a month ago, I'm currently taking a few months to consider my future job and am figuring out how to expand my side businesses that I've been running for awhile. I'm free, I drive a nice Porsche (Dads 3rd vehicle so it's not mine), have money to do and buy whatever I please, am genetically advantaged in height and body build. Why would I become an incel?
Well, here's a little background story. If you're too lazy to read you can just skip to the part after NS.
When I was younger and in Secondary school, I was very introverted because a lot of the other boys were more outgoing and sporty. Which was apparently the combination to popularity back in the days. The basketballers, loud, fit, better looking and more rowdy would often hang out together with the girls in my cohort. The rest of the boys that weren't lucky enough to have prior sports experience through primary school or outside activities would be part of their own clique. And within these cliques were other smaller cliques. And I was part of one of the smaller cliques. In fact, I was seen as the weird kid in my clique because my parents were a lot more stricter. I was not allowed to bring my phone to school, I was not allowed to follow my friends to the mall or the LAN after school. My parents always picked me up from school immediately after the day was over. I could only play computer games on saturday, for a total of 2 hours.
This made me very distant from my own clique as they never bothered to invite me for things because they knew that there wasn't a point in inviting me anyway. I missed the occasional holiday chalet, basketball jios after school, movie hangouts and the macdonald dinners. I struggled to build any real friendships because I was always at home, I was never really exposed to the teenage life and I couldn't learn things like social cues and conversation skills. Throughout sec 1 to sec 4, the number of conversations i've had with girls can be counted with my 2 hands.
After Secondary school, I went into poly. Because of the lack of social skills I had, again, I was part of the smaller cliques. Mind you, I only had my growth spurt around the first year of poly, so I was still a skinny small kid. My clique mainly bonded through video games, and it was around this time were I was finally able to get my own room and my own pc, so I could play games whenever I wanted to. We would have lessons together, eat lunch together during lunch breaks and play games when we went home. This kind of helped me in terms of finding friends, but I still haven't talked to any girls.
It was through video games where I met my ex gf. We played the same game together and after awhile I caught feelings for her. I don't know if this was because I actually liked her or if it was because she was the only girl to every show any interest in me. Fast forward 5 months, she gaslit me into thinking that I was too inexperienced/emotionally unstable and broke up with me. I found out later that she cheated on me with her ex. The break up destroyed my mental health, and because of that I deferred for a few semesters. I barely kept in touch with my clique because I didn't go to school and I wasn't really in the mood to play video games. Till this day, I'm only in contact with one guy from poly. I didn't talk to anyone in my new batch, so I went on 1.5 years of going to lessons, putting in my earpiece and then going home. I was struggling with the depression of a breakup and the loneliness. I played games alone, ate alone, played basketball alone, played the guitar alone.
Let's do a recap, I had an actual conversation that lasted over a day with 1 girl over a period of 5 years. And this is not just considering romantical conversations, this includes friends that were girls. Which amount to 0.
After I graduated from poly, I had some time before I enlisted into NS. If you've read my other post, you'd know that i ventured into drugs through a childhood friend. The drugs and the constant company of my friend just kept me in a constant loop of doing drugs and going out late at night. My savings were dwindling and so was my physical appearance. I was gaining weight, I didn't really bother to cut my hair because I didn't care about my appearance. My friend had many friends that were girls, and sometimes we'd bring them along for our supper nights.
I'll admit, I was kind of a desperate loser. I longed for the feeling of a relationship, the physical and emotional aspect of it. The ability to be able to talk to girls because she was a mutual got me nervous. Hence whenever he brought along one of his friends, I would be the "nice guy", giving off fucking beta energy and being shy and overall just being a total turnoff. So yes, I was unable to make friends with anyone else.
After I entered NS and fell out with my childhood friend, I dropped the drug habit and focused on staying sober, which was surprisingly easy to do. I made "friends" because, well, you're forced to be in camp with other guys. I was part of a stay out unit, so once it was bookout time we all just went home. There was no interaction between any of us outside of camp. In these 2 years, I've been unable to talk to ANY girls at all. In fact, I rarely even see girls that are around my age.
I had no friends to go out with after camp, and I had no friends that had friends that were girls. So these 2 years, even talking to a girl was a challenge.
This is when I started to focus on myself more. Going to the gym, trying to earn money on the side. And that brings us to today. I'd say I'm quite happy with where I am with my life currently. I'm not rich, but I can afford the things I want. I'm happy with the way my body looks, although there is still a lot of room of improvement.
This is where the problem lies. Every guy my age is going to uni, where they get to make many new friends, experience the hall/uni life, talk to other girls. If not, almost every guy has a friend group that has a girl inside. Even if they don't, one of the friend in the group would have a friend that is a girl, and through him you'd be able to have mutuals etc. I have close to zero exposure with the outside world. It's not that I don't want to go out, it's that I don't have reason to. The only times I go out are to gym, have supper alone, pump petrol. I am on 3 different dating apps, at one point 5. I'll get to that in a second.
You know sometimes you see someone attractive, you'd glace at them? Throughout my life, even up till now, I've never caught a girl giving me attention. Which leads me to the incel mindset.
Think about it. I've seen girls on social media and in public sometimes. Most of them date guys that are either super handsome with thick eyebrows, tall and huge, clear skin, good fashion sense. You do occasionally see some girls date guys that are average or even below average looking, but the harsh truth is that the girls themselves aren't very attractive. I know I'm a hypocrite.
Girls don't want guys that treat them well or give them attention. For some reason, girls only like guys that don't know that they exist or treat them like trash. If an average looking guy kept giving a girl attention and tried chasing her, do you really think she'd fall for him if there's a good looking guy that she likes but doesn't like her back? In SG, girls can choose whoever they want, I don't know why. Guys will fall for you if you're even remotely attractive and if you spend enough time with him. Chances are, and a girl uses this to her advantage, the better looking guy will fall for her if she gives him attention. So she chooses to friendzone the average looking guy and take a chance at dating the better looking guy, because she knows that there is a high chance that he'd start to fall for her.
There's this saying where 80% of girls go for the top 10% of men. I am not in that 10% because of my trash social skills with girls and average/below average face. I've been on dating apps for 3 years, and at this point I'm done with them. At first, I'd slowly swipe the girls and consider if she's really my type. But now I just spam like because the girls that I like don't like me back. I get like 1 match every 2 weeks, even being on multiple dating apps. Skill issue? Do you really think she'd swipe on me when there are better looking guys on the apps? And the fucking shittiest part is when I match with a girl that i'm interested in, I send the first message (because in sg thats how its supposed to be), and then the next morning i wake up she unmatches. In the 3 years I've been on dating apps I've gone on 0 dates. I had 2 conversations with girls that I was interested in. only for 1 to ghost me and for the other to unmatch me.
This is what I deduce from my experience with girls on dating apps and my ex. I'm financially stable, I'm tall, I'm well built. Yet I'm unable to get the attention of a girl. This is because of my face and my awkwardness/lack of ability to speak to girls because I don't have much experience. If I were good looking, the second part wouldn't matter because the girl would be the one trying to carry on the conversation. Because of this mindset, I've slowly started to resent girls because of their mindsets. I don't think I'd make a bad boyfriend. All I want is to start a family and my girlfriend and I work together to build our family and our own home. But I don't have the chance, no girl would want to even give me a chance because I'm not handsome.
TLDR: Height/muscles/mannerisms don't matter, as long as your face looks good you're set.

My boyfriend (19M) and I (20F) have been together for a year and a half. In the beginning, when any problem arise, we'd waste no time in talking to each other about it and we'd make sure we both don't go to bed upset. The conversations would be really understanding gentle and empathetic. He'd hold my hand and wipe my tears even when we haven't fixed the issue yet. He'd waste no time to bring me in for a hug at the first sight of me crying. Sometimes he'd cry when i cry. The thoughts in my head could escape my mouth so effortlessly when he'd listen to me while rubbing my back or just physically showing me that he is with me and that we aren't against each other. We'd never be fine with prolonging our ill feelings. Even though it took us a few arguments to get to where we were, we got there eventually :]
However recently, it has just been feeling way harder to talk to him about how I feel and I think it goes both ways. Sometimes I would get upset at the tone he is speaking to me in, and he'd explain that it's just the way he speaks. At this, I'd feel bad and that I was being sensitive and feel the need to apologize. Sometimes, when i bring up a problem, the tone he speaks in would change and it would scare me. I'd start trying really hard to make sure that he knows that I'm not against him, and that I just want to fix the issue. I'd voice out my concerns and sometimes it feels like he's taking it as attacks. I voice out because I value and care about our relationship. Instead of staying quiet, I chose to speak up about what's bothering me. If the assumptions I made were wrong I'd like for him to correct me and to reassure me. But many times, he'd get upset. I would again feel really bad for speaking up, start scrambling to make it very clear that I am not trying to fight him. I use to be really blunt and comfortable with telling him things but now I find myself second guessing and feeling scared. It's very hard for me to articulate my thoughts and to explain to a manner which he'd understand and sometimes I'd talk about how i feel for a good 5 minutes to be met with 'okay' and he'd go straight to asking me why i did certain things that upset him which i have no problems with asking and holding myself accountable for. I will give my apology where it is due and I want to give him what he deserves the best I can.
Last night, I made a mistake. During a heated arguement over the phone, the pace really started to pick up and he said "I can't-". Before he could finish, I cut him off by saying "you always do this" and hung. I was scared that he was going to say he needs time and space. I ended the call because I was scared of hearing that from him so I thought I'd leave first so it would hurt less. It didn't. It was wrong and hasty of me. That night, I was having trouble trying to sleep and just cried my eyes out after hanging up. I saw that he was online on steam which i was expecting. During the argument, he told me that his friend wanted to play with him at 9 (at this point it was around almost 11) and that he'd stayed because he feels guilty and that something is holding him back. At this, I was upset because I wish he'd told me earlier and that i wish he'd said "Actually my friend asked if I wanted to play with him but I'm not going to leave until we're fine or we talk this out" instead of not leaving because he feels guilty and something was holding him back as it made me feel really sad. He replied by saying that that's exactly what went through his head, it's just that he didn't say it/ it didn't come out of him.
But back to after the call ended, I cried and cried until 5am. I saw that he was online on steam (until before 5am) and automatically assumed that he was playing with his friend which I was glad about because I felt bad for his friend and him. I texted him to apologize for how things went last night and that it was wrong of me to end the call like that with that reason. I told him that i hope he got to play with his friend with a smiley face. I wished him a goodnight and sweet dreams and i told him i hope he knows how much i love him. I apologized again and told him I had no intentions to hurt him and that i was genuinely trying really hard to keep the conversation gentle and understanding. I thanked him for wanting to talk to me before playing with his friend if he did end up doing that and how i appreciate it a lot. I also asked him to text me when he's up and and that i love him again.
He replied to me at 12:30, after or during his class. This is what he replied to me with:
im sorry things went the way it did as well and i did see your tweets, its okay. i don't know how to feel about you hanging up because you were scared id say something along the lines of that and because that youd be left alone, it feels wrong, but i appreciate you telling me that. to be truthful, i feel mentally tired and overwhelmed, and im really feeling like i need some space.
I was really sad and worried that he didn't say he loves me back even though i said it twice. But i replied to him saying i understand, and i asked him if we will be fine. I also sent him this text:
and can we please find some time, maybe not today or tomorrow, to sit down and really talk it through with an open mind and heart?
I understand that you need space and that's what I am to give you but for now, i need reassurance on these things as i really cant handle no contact without at least reassurance please :/
I saw him typing, but I didn't get a reply and it's been almost 3 hours. For context, last week he did not reply to me for almost a day after an argument. I freaked out and called him no less than 100 times, asked his friwnds and sister where he went and if he's okay. They couldn't reach him (his sister had to get him through the house phone). He finally replied to me apologizing and we talked about the issue. I decided to be honest with him and in a long paragraph told him i dont do silence really well because it feels like he doesnt care or love me enough to wonder if im doing well because i was going crazy at the silence from his end(i said more but to make things short,). It was really bad to the point where i walked outside at night to distract myself and ended upvomitting on the side of the road. He said he understands and apoligized. He said it's the worse he's handled an argument and tried really hard to assure me that he loves me and we fine and back to normal. I felt okay and relieved at that point.
But now this is happening. I feel sad because it feels like he's forgotten about what i said last week. But at the same time, I feel really conflicted and I want to give him what he needs. I would do anything for our relationsip to be better. I want him to be happy. I'm trying my very hardest to be the best partner for him. I care about and value our relationship so much, and he still hasn't given me the reassurance i need in order to feel slightly fine about the distance. I do not know why and I'm spiralling worrying about why he hasn't replied to me.
I reallly want this relationship to work I love him so much and I know he loves me too. I acknowledge that things arent the same anymore and he might need different things now. I feel the key to this is to find a balance which we're struggling with. He is my best friend and makes me feel the most comfortable. I love being in my presence and he is my best friend. I wish to spend my whole life with this boy. Please help I tried so hard to keep myself together today and broke down in class :(

Hey so this is a bit of an essay… I’m a 31yo female and I used to self harm in high school and occasionally in my early 20s.
Honestly I know I did it because I wanted someone to tell me that everything was okay and that I was going to be okay.. I never let anyone see my scars on purpose because after the fact I would have so much shame of what I’d done to my self and fear that someone would find out I could do this to my self.
Once my mum saw a cigarette burn on my arm and she was completely mad and gutted and it made me way more careful about giving into the impulse or letting anyone see the evidence of sh.
I drank a lot and took drugs and I’ve basically always had something external to lean on when I feel empty, discontent, angry, depressed and just not wanting to get out of bed.
I’m going to jump ahead a bit now..
I’ve been sober through 12 step for 19 months.. during these months I left my wife of 10 years (I’m a gay woman) I started working full time again at an okay but unfulfilling job that at least keeps a roof over my head, I’ve made so many deep connections through 12 step, I’ve started TM meditation and up until recently I was working hard at my creative stuff and staying fit and strong through climbing..
At this moment while I’m writing I have covid.. it’s only the 2nd time I’ve had it and this happend the 1st time I had it aswell.. I got super dark, like every insecurity I’ve ever had got 1000x louder.. only this time I gave in, I sh relapsed, I’m so ashamed.
I’m supposed to have my shit together and just like that I’m back in the dark.
I know I need to tell someone irl but I’m so ashamed that I did this at 31 and when I’ve “come so far” people have literally been saying how I seem so good and like I’m back to how I used to be and now I feel like a fraud like I’ve fucked it all up.
I guess what I’m seeking is advice on how to pick the right person to talk to and how the hell do I make myself say that I’m not okay…

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