Hotels guest letter of apology

I (27F) was dating a narcissist (28M). My ex is a very charming and attractive man. I was dating him for 2.5 years in which we got to the marriage stage where our families had met and we were going ahead with the marriage. During the course of our relationship he’s been verbally & physically abusive, critical, I’ve worked for his company for a salary that’s below my level of experience, he’s lied and flirted with other girls and just been a nightmare. He’s also physically abused my on 4 instances. The first 2 times it happened was in the office and I secretly took videos of the cctv camera recording of it to keep and hid it away. The 3rd & 4th time was in his house and the 4th time it happened I retaliated and pushed him back as well cause I couldn’t handle it anymore.
Everytime it happened he’s done everything in his power to make me forgive him and I did. He also promised to stop and did for 4 months. Then we got to finalising a wedding venue last September and he was still talking like an asshole and getting angry at nonsensical things. I broke up with him before we could go ahead and book any venues ( turns out he had planned a proposal for me just 2 weeks after the date I broke up)
So he was heartbroken but I just had a bad feeling about tolerating his crap after marriage and didn’t see any change in attitude even though he had promised me the world and said that all the issues are tiny and will go away with marriage.
After he revealed that he was going to propose and was heartbroken I told him I would be open to working on this relationship but not going ahead with the marriage just yet. He was so “heartbroken” that he was not ready to get back and just wanted to be single. I would see him in the office daily and as days passed he kept flirting and we slept together - he promised me that he wasn’t flirting with anyone else.
Turns out he got a nude on his phone the next day and I left him for good and started working from home.
He chased and convinced me for 2 months after which we got back in December and through this period he’s told everyone how many good things he’s done for me and how he couldn’t get over me & that I’m leaving him over fixable issues & he was technically single so he’s allowed to flirt with others as he slept with me a day before
Cut to December and I somehow get convinced and take him back. In the period we weren’t together I didn’t entertain anyone new and he promised me he didn’t either. He also promised me that he didn’t meet the girl that sent him nudes and that there was nothing that happened between them.
I was really insecure so I did ask to see his phone once in January but ofcourse he got really angry and defensive and called me a insecure psycho
Cut to March and I found an email on his computer as I was sending an email for him which shows a hotel booking for the city that girl is from and I called up the hotel to confirm the checked in guests and it was him and the girl.
I was going to the office to breakup with him the next day and as I reach he needed to be admitted to the hospital so I didn’t say anything and as with him and his family at the hospital as he got operated and recovered.
In this period I had his phone and checked to see that he had not only gone to hookup with the nudes girl but also hooked up with someone else the day I found out about the nudes and continued talking to this girl till end November. I was shattered and I just deleted my nudes from his phone cause I knew I wanted to end it.
I don’t know why the physical abuse itself didn’t make me walk away but I felt like now every single bad thing that could’ve happened has happened and this was the final push I needed. He had been lying to me since the day I got back with him in December.
He realises I deleted the nudes 3 days after he’s back from the hospital and at first I thought I’ll play it off as I was scared someone else would see it but he kept fighting and torturing me to a point where he wouldn’t let me sleep and keep calling my phone - so I told him I know the truth about the 2 girls and ended it.
Since then he’s done everything he could to tell me that I’m ending a beautiful relationship and how it’s my fault he went and hooked up because I found the nudes and he wouldn’t have gotten them if I didn’t breakup with him before he was going to propose.
Now Ofcourse he’s told all the people in his life that I’m immature and have created this mess and did the unholy thing of checking his phone when he’s unconscious.
I’m trying to leave his company and I’ve left it except for 2 clients who he knows might leave if I tell them I’m leaving.
I asked him for the official documents for leaving the company and he’s asking me why do I want this professionalism now - like I didn’t work professionally and he was providing me for me… I am beyond angry as this affects my future salaries and growth.
I feel like going to his family to firstly show them the truth of the physical abuse (cause he always denies it or minimises it to a push or a shove) and demand the papers
Or I feel like telling the two clients to walk with me but I don’t wanna affect his business.
The other big risk in telling his family and showing them that I have proof is it’s all going to get ugly and if my ex finds out I feel like he’ll suicide cause he’s suicidal.
But it’s really been triggering me, I asked him for my documents and he was telling me things like he’s been good to me - I said you’ve physically abused me and he was like “calm down and talk rationally, if I had physically abused you, you would’ve had a blue eye”
This has triggered me the most. Please help me, I feel like showing his friends and family what a disgusting man he is behind this beautiful facade that he maintains so well

My (39F) husband (44M) have been married for 16 years, together for 20. We have two kids, an 11M and 7F. My son has severe ADHD and gives us a run for our money. My husband travels for work a lot, every few weeks he is gone for anywhere from 1 to 5 or more weeks. Sometimes this travel falls back to back. It’s part of his job, it’s hard but it is what it is.
I am often basically a single mom, I also work and work in the evenings. I don’t get home until 10/11p and then am always up at 6:30a with the kids. We make do with babysitters. We have no family nearby but my mom will come in for a week at a time when my husband has a lot of travel to help out. Bless her. We live in NYC.
This last travel my husband, unfortunately, had a pretty bad experience with bedbugs in his hotel room. Honestly I’m shocked it’s never happened before. He was completely eaten. The hotel moved his room and dry cleaned his luggage and clothing. I am TERRIFIED of bedbugs. Its is a horror. I feel so bad this happened to my husband. I did a lot of research and everything I read said to bag his stuff when he gets back, let it sit for a month, then retreat. Cross contamination between rooms is common in hotels. I told him when he got home I wanted him to bag everything just in case.
He had to take a red eye home this past week, he was tired and cranky. I happened to be outside in the front gardening when he got in and before he went inside with his luggage I insisted he bag it all. And he got pissed off. He argued with me that it was unnecessary and he was tired and he didn’t want to do it. I still insisted. He threw his hands up, started slamming his shit and being an absolute jerk. Slammed his luggage into some garbage bags, threw them down in our front foyer and muttered under his breathe “great I’m home. Time to shut up and do what I’m told.”
I absolutely LOST IT. I run myself ragged taking care of our family and our home, often doing it all when he’s gone. If we ever got a bedbug infestation it would be a nightmare. Especially if he was out of town again and I had to deal with it solo. I screamed. I threw a piece of watermelon at the wall. I told him to f*ck off and not talk to me again, then I had to go to work. I have not talked to him since, I’m sleeping in another room.
I have to run a tight ship to get everything done, to get my kids everywhere they need to be. And my kids are kids, they can be tough. When my husband gets home I need a partner to help me and to keep our family safe, not a petulant teenager. I really don’t want to talk to him until he apologizes which he has not. I refuse to be the first to extend the olive branch, I always am but I’m too mad this time.
So AITAH?

I'm on mobile, writing this brought back a lot of emotions. So if it's sloppy,I apologize.....
I've debated about posting this, but it's been a year now. So I should be ok. I've posted on Reddit before, asking about situations at the company but changed some things. So here we are, and here's a full run down of my time there
I started in May, 2019. Part time and straight out of highschool. By November, I was full time and had store keys, training to be a closing manager (RSS)
In 2020, we had a coworker stalk a new hire, as he really wanted to date her, she felt uncomfortable but since he was a manager, she felt inclined to do as he wanted. She came to me as we were close in age. I helped her talk with our boss. He was soon let go.
Then we hired another girl, and she was.... Something.
She decided that she was going to get the boss to fall for her, and be the favorite. Boss was annoyed by her, and she found it funny to walk up behind me when I was on a phone call, reach around and grab my chest. She did this in front of customers as well. Our store had no cameras.
Even after I told her to knock it off, she kept on. Soon the customers were trying to treat me the same. Trying to touch me, asking if they can "Rent me" and other gross things.
I'd told my boss, SM. But at the time, we had a very.... Slow to act DM. So nothing was done.
One day, I was training a new hire. I was on the phone with a customer, and he was beside me at the counter with a customer. She walked up behind me, reached around, but this time, one hand went up, one went down and she was telling our new hire "it's ok to do this cause there's no cameras" and slowly started undoing the buttons on my shirt.
I'd gotten permission from my boss at the time to react in anyway I had to to get her off me, as our DM didn't want to get involved but wouldn't allow him to fire her.
so I kicked her as hard as I could. She fell, and started laughing. After she left, I explained to him what's been going on. He understood but was upset and uncomfortable, not that I blame him. She'd been written up for this before.
The next day, DM was there. New hire had called tips, and told them if they didn't do anything about this he would go public, forcing the DM to do something. Well, we found out this day, that we had a new DM. As the company "had decided due to so many complaints under this DM, that they needed to take him from DM, and make him a SM again for awhile"
This one took swift action. She was canned. After this, the new hires we got were so much better. But unfortunately, the system we used, showed our phone numbers and addresses. So this, now ex coworker, started stalking me. Sending me threatening messages and following me home, company said just block and ignore. Police wouldn't help til she did something threatening my life. I'd come outside to my tires all flat, my car scratched, I'd be followed home, it was a mess. A few times I'd be followed, run off the road, one morning on the way to work, I called the store and told them I was being followed. Everyone knew by now what was happening, and they watched as I pulled in, my SM went outside to tell the girl to leave, as she tried to slam her car into mine. I'd Changed everything by then, moved, new number, new route to abd from work. Hadn't seen her in awhile.
I left that store in Feb of 2021, and went to a bigger store to be trained as a ASM and as a safety precaution, to create more space in case the chic came back. (As she still circled the store time to time) Once there, I helped run the store. I was there til August of that same year, I was "loaned" out to help a different store, but still was expected to run my second store. As the SM was out due to family issues.
So now I'm running two stores, one store where no one respects the store manager, and one store where there is no store manager. So I'm training people at one location while running this other store as the store manager is sleeping off a hangover In the office.
During this, I was training some guys from the second store, and on October 19th, 2021. I had been at store #3 getting stuff ready for the upcoming inventory, so I got home around 12AM. My phone was dead, I was tired and I had a husky needing to go outside. When two of the guys I was training pull up. They had gotten my address off of the computer and were here because "they were sick of the management and needed me back there" they knew what apartment number I was so they ran up the stairs and beat me to the door. I was tired and not in the mood to get into it that night, so they passed out on the couch and next morning, I'm being called due to them not coming in. So I answer and told them that they are currently passed out on my couch, I got in trouble for them not coming into work.
It went smoothly for awhile, then December 13th, 2021 comes along. At this time, my relationship with my mother was rocky. I had gone low contact with her. I also never told anyone my business, as I figured it wasn't anyones need to know. My personal life stays personal. Well, two store managers take it upon themselves to integrate me. It's their day off, so I'm running the store, only have one delivery driver that day, short staffed, they pull up and have me go into the back of the store, which has no walls. So everyone can hear what's being said.
And they lay into me. For 3hrs til I'm in tears and have told them everything that went on with my mother and why we're low contact. The store manager decides she's going to be my hero and go confront my mother, have her husband beat my mother up and have this show down. They told me to not worry, return to work and they'll handle it. And left. Leaving me crying, shaking and still trying to run a store, get people to lunch and my teams now more focused on me, what they heard in the conversation and some are calling the DM to report what just happened. This made a very awkward month, as now DM is involved, the SM's got a talking to and I had to relive this twice more. Once with the DM, then HR. Tho HR labeled this a "in house issue" and weren't willing to help.
After this, it calmed down. The SM's were now out to get me for "getting them in trouble" but otherwise, it seemed fine. Tho I was working with the store managers daughter, so she kept her mom updated, and made sure to mention my mothers abuse towards me and tell others about it as well. She liked the gossip of it.
Then on March 5th, 2022. The store managers daughter had been slacking. Big time. On her phone in the office, taking "favors" for reduced product, or just ignoring her job and making others pick up the slack. I was spread thin, mentally and physically. Trying to help with training a new store manager, training staff at my second store, and keeping this third one up. So when I was catching up on freight, and found she was off in the back on her phone watching TikTok, I got on her about it. She got upset, and said "you've been really moody lately. I think you're pregnant" to which I told her I'm stressed trying to get stuff going, I haven't had a break in awhile, and you aren't helping at all.( She also has this mindset that I slept with my first store manager. And that I was still with him and pregnant by him. )
She rolled her eyes, and on her break, she went out and bought a pregnancy test. When she returns, she hides my clipboard and paperwork, and had blocked my car in. Then, in front of the few staff I had that day, announces that I'm to take this pregnancy test, or she'll destroy the paperwork, and tell the SM that I wasn't actually in store, didn't do my paperwork and have been flaky. She had the DM and SM's wrapped around her finger. So I told her this isn't appropriate and that I'd rather not. This went back and forth, to the point of her getting in the way of me answering phones and helping customers, she'd physically take the phone from my hand and hang up, or tell the customer that I couldn't help them at this time.
So I told her, if I do, I'm going home for the rest of the day. I had 2 hours left of my shift. She said fine. But she needed to be in the bathroom as I took it, so I don't "cheat".
After that, she moved her car and I left. For the day. Went home, called HR. They told me it's an in store issue, and unfortunately they rather not get involved with it. So I told the DM. He had already received reports from the other staff, telling him what happened. She was talked to, but that's it. For the rest of the week, she talked about how cute it would be if I had a baby with my first SM, asked about what he was like in bed and if we did it in the store - this SM and I were close, he was a father figure/role model to me. If I couldn't figure something out, he was my first call. She ruined the friendship I had with him, as we both felt awkward when we worked together due to her. As she told her mom and the gossip spread like wildfire.
March 15th, 2022. I requested a week off. I needed a break, my car needed maintenance and I figured I would head to the ocean with my husky for a couple days. So the first day off, the 12th, I drop my car off at the dealership so they can replace a recall. They say it'll be 5 hours so I walk around town, just relaxing. Then they tell me that unfortunately, they found a new issue and are going to keep my car for a month, and have no way of giving me a loaner. I try to figure out why and it's the runaround, my buddy comes to my aid and helps me get my stuff from my car as they wouldn't let me back there to get my stuff. Then we go to my mother's house to try and get the spare car I have. But the rack and pinion blew on it the same day. So next day I spend trying to tear it apart. I get halfway through when work calls, and let's me know my vacation request ends early as the SM's daughter had an emergency and I need to cover for her. I tell them I'm without a car, in a city an hour away, and the SM says "not my problem. Figure it out. I need you in. If you aren't in, I'm writing you up and firing you"
So I rush to get the car going, and on the 14th, Im stressed, tired, sore and anxious. I push a tool a bit to hard and it slips on grease, comes flying out of the wheel well and hits me in the head, hard. My mother comes back an hour later to find me knocked out. My first concussion. (By this time, we'd had a better relationship/understanding and were working towards building it)
So that night, she drops me off at my apartment. No rental places had any cars, so that morning, I grab my scooter, my husky, and walk the 4hrs to the store. Two hours in, I start to have an asthma attack. My body's shaking, my heads killing me, but we get there. Almost falling in the parking lot. We get in, I sit by the door catching my breath. A driver who used to volunteer at the fire station, comes over and checks my pulse, gets worried and recommends I go to the ER. I tell him I'm okay, the SM has already left for the day. So I need to be here to close. I get cleaned up, and the DM calls. Saying the SM called to tell him I hadn't shown up, and to ask where I was. I told him I just walked there, im wheezing and he's concerned too. I tell him she threatened to fire me if I didn't get here. He said he'd talk to her. Nothing ever came of it.
July 6th, 2022. The DM decided to move me permanently back to my 2nd store, as the store manager was going through personal stuff and I was needed there. So I went. It had been a couple weeks before this, but on the 6th, my shifts were 7am to 7pm. Or til 9:30 if the closer didn't come in. So I come in on time, start working, and go into the back of the store to get hose for a customer. I'm still feeling the symptoms of the concussion from March, but power through. I'm not sure how, but I managed to slip on a piece of paper, fall back and hit the base of my skull on the shelf, then when I was getting up, hit my forehead on it too. A coworker came looking for me. And found me, in his words "in a puddle of blood". He gets me up and takes care of the customer, and gets me to the bathroom and cleaned up. Then we go to the SM and let her know.
She says "You're standing up. You can work. Clean yourself up and get on the counter" I had a two week vacation scheduled, starting the next day. So she thought I was trying to get off work early. Something I had never done. So I go the front after cleaning myself up, the nasty gash on my head swelling up and getting attention. The store is hot, it's 90 outside, and I'm in my jacket shivering cause I'm cold. This happened at about 9AM. I went to her at 12PM and requested a break so I could go out to my car, grab some pain pills and come back. She said no, as I might not return. So I worked through it. I tried calling a couple people to see if they could cover me, as I was feeling worse and worse. But nothing. By 3, a coworker comes in and sees me. His shift didn't start for another two hours, but he immediately told me to go home.
By how, the SM has sent two others home early as we were " slow" and didn't need them. She also wanted to leave, which would mean I'd be the only manager there. He was a manager in training. But he counted my til down and the SM said as I left "since you don't feel good, maybe you shouldn't go to your sister's and just relax. But if I see any pictures of you on vacation after this, I'll know you lied to get out of it."
I went out to my car, which was a 2019 base model Sentra, I left at 4pm. I didn't get home til 8:30/9pm. A drive, with traffic takes an hour. My car had no lane deparcher or blindspot monitoring. When I pulled into my spot at my boyfriend's apartment, as I had moved in with him after coworkers kept finding out where I lived, or gave my address out to random people. My car was scratched up, the rims had curb rash, the passenger side had scratches. I don't know where I went or why it took so long to get home. I remember getting into my car, turning it on, turning on the A/C and that's it.
I went inside and passed out on the bed, my boyfriend couldn't wake me up for dinner, next morning my mother came and got me, taking me to the ER. I had yet another concussion. The doctor told me to stay away from screens, loud noises, drink water and just relax. Refrain from hitting my head again.
After my vacation, I returned with a letter of resignation. As I did some thinking. I couldn't stand the job anymore, the gossip, the crap... The random guys who would get my number and say "someone gave me your number at the store." And I'd have to change my number again. I have a folder of some of the weirdest ones.
I gave my resignation to the SM I currently was under. She denied it. Said no, she needed me to run her store while she took care of stuff, but this was the same SM who believed that I slept with my first SM, denied my raise and SM training as "according to the 3rd store I was sent to. I didn't do anything of what I was supposed to do, got the SM and her friend and the daughter in trouble, I took my vacations without thinking of anyone else"
I went to my first SM, he faxed the paperwork in. My last day was scheduled for August 18th, 2022. Clearly stated on my resignation letter. I gave my two weeks notice on Aug. 4th. 2022.
Everyone started freaking out in management. My DM tried getting me to stay, as it was a shock to him. But I couldn't. On my last day, she scheduled me for a closing shift. With nothing on the following days. She put me on for that Saturday. She calls me, asking where I am. I tell her my last day was Thursday. She tells me no. That she decides when my last day is, and I'm needed there right now. She thought we had talked it out, and that I would "come to my senses" and see reasoning. I told her I was firm on no longer working there, and I had already turned in all my keys. She blew up. Calling me every name in the book, degrading me, she called other stores and a lot of my friends there, turned on me. As she told them straight lies.
I blocked everyone as I started getting hate messages, people commenting on my social media, saying awful stuff. It was hell. I blocked everyone, and for awhile. I had to block accounts or deactivate my stuff. Finally, it all stopped.
I thought I was going to be with that company forever. I missed friends events for it. Family stuff, and events I wanted to go to, cuz of the job..,.. but in the end, those who were assholes to me, got placed in higher positions. Praised for "dealing with everything" and took credit for everything I did. I still get messages asking how to do something, but those go unanswered.
I miss the challenges, the interactions with customers and cars. But I don't miss how HR worked. How tight some are, that they can easily sway things to benefit them just cuz they know each other outside of the company.
It was fun. But I'm glad I got out, and it's burned me... I miss certain people there. But I can't ever be positive about that company again

My ex is a very charming and attractive man. I was dating him for 2.5 years in which we got to the marriage stage where our families had met and we were going ahead with the marriage. During the course of our relationship he’s been verbally & physically abusive, critical, I’ve worked for his company for a salary that’s below my level of experience, he’s lied and flirted with other girls and just been a nightmare. He’s also physically abused my on 4 instances. The first 2 times it happened was in the office and I secretly took videos of the cctv camera recording of it to keep and hid it away. The 3rd & 4th time was in his house and the 4th time it happened I retaliated and pushed him back as well cause I couldn’t handle it anymore.
Everytime it happened he’s done everything in his power to make me forgive him and I did. He also promised to stop and did for 4 months. Then we got to finalising a wedding venue last September and he was still talking like an asshole and getting angry at nonsensical things. I broke up with him before we could go ahead and book any venues ( turns out he had planned a proposal for me just 2 weeks after the date I broke up)
So he was heartbroken but I just had a bad feeling about tolerating his crap after marriage and didn’t see any change in attitude even though he had promised me the world and said that all the issues are tiny and will go away with marriage.
After he revealed that he was going to propose and was heartbroken I told him I would be open to working on this relationship but not going ahead with the marriage just yet. He was so “heartbroken” that he was not ready to get back and just wanted to be single. I would see him in the office daily and as days passed he kept flirting and we slept together - he promised me that he wasn’t flirting with anyone else.
Turns out he got a nude on his phone the next day and I left him for good and started working from home.
He chased and convinced me for 2 months after which we got back in December and through this period he’s told everyone how many good things he’s done for me and how he couldn’t get over me & that I’m leaving him over fixable issues & he was technically single so he’s allowed to flirt with others as he slept with me a day before
Cut to December and I somehow get convinced and take him back. In the period we weren’t together I didn’t entertain anyone new and he promised me he didn’t either. He also promised me that he didn’t meet the girl that sent him nudes and that there was nothing that happened between them.
I was really insecure so I did ask to see his phone once in January but ofcourse he got really angry and defensive and called me a insecure psycho
Cut to March and I found an email on his computer as I was sending an email for him which shows a hotel booking for the city that girl is from and I called up the hotel to confirm the checked in guests and it was him and the girl.
I was going to the office to breakup with him the next day and as I reach he needed to be admitted to the hospital so I didn’t say anything and as with him and his family at the hospital as he got operated and recovered.
In this period I had his phone and checked to see that he had not only gone to hookup with the nudes girl but also hooked up with someone else the day I found out about the nudes and continued talking to this girl till end November. I was shattered and I just deleted my nudes from his phone cause I knew I wanted to end it.
I don’t know why the physical abuse itself didn’t make me walk away but I felt like now every single bad thing that could’ve happened has happened and this was the final push I needed. He had been lying to me since the day I got back with him in December.
He realises I deleted the nudes 3 days after he’s back from the hospital and at first I thought I’ll play it off as I was scared someone else would see it but he kept fighting and torturing me to a point where he wouldn’t let me sleep and keep calling my phone - so I told him I know the truth about the 2 girls and ended it.
Since then he’s done everything he could to tell me that I’m ending a beautiful relationship and how it’s my fault he went and hooked up because I found the nudes and he wouldn’t have gotten them if I didn’t breakup with him before he was going to propose.
Now Ofcourse he’s told all the people in his life that I’m immature and have created this mess and did the unholy thing of checking his phone when he’s unconscious.
I’m trying to leave his company and I’ve left it except for 2 clients who he knows might leave if I tell them I’m leaving.
I asked him for the official documents for leaving the company and he’s asking me why do I want this professionalism now - like I didn’t work professionally and he was providing me for me… I am beyond angry as this affects my future salaries and growth.
I feel like going to his family to firstly show them the truth of the physical abuse (cause he always denies it or minimises it to a push or a shove) and demand the papers
Or I feel like telling the two clients to walk with me but I don’t wanna affect his business.
The other big risk in telling his family and showing them that I have proof is it’s all going to get ugly and if my ex finds out I feel like he’ll suicide cause he’s suicidal.
But it’s really been triggering me, I asked him for my documents and he was telling me things like he’s been good to me - I said you’ve physically abused me and he was like “calm down and talk rationally, if I had physically abused you, you would’ve had a blue eye”
This has triggered me the most. Please help me, I feel like showing his friends and family what a disgusting man he is behind this beautiful facade that he maintains so well

A couple years ago I went to a screening of "Midnight Run" at the American Cinematheque and there was a Q&A after with Martin Brest moderated by Paul Thomas Anderson. PTA is a huge fan and a personal friend of Brest's and they had a great rapport. It was shortly after Charles Grodin had passed, so there were a lot of reminisces about him. But PTA insisted that they end with Brest telling his story about fishing with Hervé Villechaize.
Brest had met Villechaize when he was a student in NYC and Hervé was a struggling actor. Back then, Hervé always used to carry around a huge Bowie knife at all times for protection. Brest wrote one of the roles in "Hot Tomorrows" for him, and he flew him out to LA to shoot it but they didn't have money for a hotel so Hervé just stayed in his little house (this was before "Fantasy Island" made him a star).
One day Brest and his roommate Stuart Cornfeld (later Ben Stiller's producing partner) got the idea that they should go fishing for their dinner, so they invited Hervé along as they rented a little boat in Marina del Rey and headed out to sea. A thick fog rolled in so they became totally lost. Then one of them hooked a fish, and when they reeled it in they realized it was a huge barracuda, which started thrashing around and snapping at them. They all freaked, until Hervé jumped on top of the fish, pulled out his giant knife, and stabbed the beast to death like a maniac.
Brest apologized at the end that the story didn't have much of a resolution, but I think the mental image of Hervé Villechaize going full Captain Ahab was evocative enough.

Throw back to 2020. My husband at the time 22M and I 21F had just gotten engaged, graduated college, and began searching for houses. At the time, we were living with my parents. A little back story, back in college 2017 we had just bought a dog and were living in an apartment when we found it had mold. I was sick from it. My parents told me that my dog would die from it if we didn't leave and insisted we move in with them and commute 30 minutes to college. To which I agreed. I am their only child btw. I had a rough upbringing. I thought I was just rebellious but am realizing now they are control freaks. My dad told me when I was 16 that he put a gun to his head outside and almost pulled the trigger and it would have been my fault. My mom called me fat multiple times, forced me into pageants i didn't want to do. she saw my bf kissing me once and wouldn't talk to me for 3 months, couldn't even be in the same room as me or look at me without crying. Oh and she kept saying it's just my first wedding every chance she got. They both told me that being a labor and delivery RN is gay and that I would be a terrible nurse, but I have proved them wrong. There is much more in between all of this but here's some.
My husband and I were searching for houses, we were going to buy one when we told my parents we'd be moving out. They begged us to stay, said we could transform the garage into a living space and they would move out there. They said they would sign the house over to us. My husband was fond of the idea since he didn't want to live in a neighborhood and my parents have 10 acres. I was not fond of it, but knew we would save money in the long run. So we got a contractor and cashed out my husbands inheritance from his deceased father (he died when my husband was 18). I used all of my savings to help pay. It amounted to about 100k after everything.
As soon as we paid, my parents demeanor changed. They became rude and insensitive, saying all sorts of horrendous things. They began heavy drinking mid 2020 because my Grandma died and their life was over. Come to find out, they wouldn't have been able to afford living here if we hadn't taken over. My dad has health problems, but my mom has been perfectly healthy just refuses to work and has had excuses why she hasn't worked for years.
The drinking got worse, my dad called me a bitch for not wanting to pay $7k for painters. I told them we would paint it ourselves. It wasn't good enough for them. They have caused fights about us throwing out a paint can, screaming "one hundred dollars isn't a lot to you but it is to us" and proceeded to say they "don't know how its going to work here" and that they might just take us off everything.
Flash forward to today I'm currently pregnant with our first two children, we are here and they haven't signed the house over. They claim they are trying to merge the property from my Grandma to their house then they will sign it over. We put an additional 50k into much needed upkeep that they fell short on for 30 years. Everyone of my dad's sisters hates him because they feel they were treated unfairly when his mother died. All of my mom's siblings hate her because she convinced my grandma to write her brother out of the property inheritance so he only got his father's side of it. So everyone in the family hates them, but they still sit there and act like saints because they helped take care of both of my grandma's in their end of life.
We have had many fights over the dumbest shit. I could go into so many details but we would run out of space. They have made claims that we're taking advantage of them, how they've sacrificed so much and we haven't done anything for them. They blew their top over a paint can saying "100 dollars isn't much to you but it is to us!" They have threatened to not add us on the house and have said multiple times this isn't going to work. Even better my dad and mom refused to stop smoking and drinking around my babies because "it doesn't affect them". I used to visit every day before I got pregnant and was super sick. But now I visit once a week. But that seems to not be good enough.
It was my baby shower today. Keep in mind, my mom didn't throw me a bridal shower and claimed she was too busy with the renovation even though my husband and I were handling everything. She didn't offer to throw me a baby shower either. My husbands Grandma and my friend did.
Last night I texted my Mom saying that we would be leaving at 9. I figured we would be riding together since we live together and she is going to be a Grandma. Well, my mom ignored me and had my father text me. He told me that she won't be riding with me and she will be riding with a cousin. I told him I think that looks poor given she is the Grandma and shouldn't be arriving with other guests. He texted me saying my husband told him that we can't give my mom a ride. I know this is not true.
What happened was that my husband took the dogs out and at the time had a lot on his mind from work. My dad said my Mom will need a ride to the shower. My Mom insisted she didn't and would drive herself (their car is old and breaking which they have also insinuated that we should be buying them a car). My husband said that either way works and just let us know. Continuing, my father told me that he doesn't want to leave anything to us because of this. And I left it at that.
In the morning, my Mom texted saying she wants to ride with us which we agreed. She never apologized for the behavior or anything, just pretended like nothing was wrong.
My shower was less than ok. My entire family breezed past me, barely asked about my pregnancy or the babies and talked to my Mom. I sat in the corner with my friend and husbands Grandma while my Mom entertained all of them. She excluded my husbands Grandma from the main dining table and spent an hour talking about how hard her life is with my Dad and his health problems. "Nobody knows what I go through" she says.
The shower basically felt like a show for her. My cousin said "I heard you and (my Dad) built a tiny house. That must have been expensive." My mom says "yeah we did!" I walked over and said that MY husband and I paid for it. it was asked why my husband and I aren't living in a one bedroom house or if we will build a new one. I told them it wasn't our idea and we spent our entire savings on it so we have no money left to build a house.
My mom didn't sit by me or take one picture with me prior to this or after.
After the shower, everyone left and I said to my mom that I wasn't aware everyone was under the impression that they paid for everything. She screamed to of her lungs "YOU can't KEEP DOING THIS TO ME!" My husbands Grandpa definitely heard. So do you think she's in the right and has scarified more than I have?
I am getting tired of the threats and becoming more concerned that they will try to evict us even though we pay the gas, electric, wifi, and television bills. With these babies coming soon, I don't know what to do. It would bankrupt us leaving without our money back and buying a new house. Do I have a case?

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
We pulled off I-51 a little after midnight, stopping at a truck stop which was couched between the highway and a large forest.
We waited in the van for ten minutes or so. Trent had increased the sonar radius to its maximum of 30 miles a little over an hour ago. Somehow the red pings had kept up with us, holding a steady distance of around 20 miles. Considering we were averaging around 80 mph, and a coyote's top speed is only around 40 mph, we figured they had been enhanced in some way. Either that, or they shape-shifted into something faster. Regardless, now that we had stopped, we waited to see if the demon spawn would try and close the distance. Luckily, or unluckily, they didn't. They kept their 20 mile buffer, but we noticed they were beginning to spread out along the circumference of that boundary.
"We're close. They know that, so they're trying to trap us in." Trent said.
"Trying to?—more like they have."
We considered whether we should stay in the van and keep watch, but we figured that would do us little good. At their speed, they could be on us in ten minutes, which means we would need to stay up all night and keep tabs on their positions. Trent offered to stay up, of course, but I shut him down.
"The demon doesn't want to kill us now. You said it yourself. Plus, we need our rest. If they come, they come."
Trent didn't like it, but he acquiesced.
The truck stop had all the essentials: a gas station and mini mart with showers and an attached McDonald's, a large parking lot for truckers to idle and sleep, and even a section with lodging for those who wanted a more comfortable night's rest. I told Trent that he should take advantage of the showers, and after a little convincing, he agreed. While he was cleaning himself up, I patrolled the dingy, half-stocked aisles of "Daisy's Quick Mart". I probably would have been appalled at the quality of the store had I actually been paying any attention to it whatsoever. But I wasn't. I was thinking hard about what awaited me tomorrow.
During the drive, I had asked Trent why the demon would want us to return to the crash site. What did he mean that I would be 'confronting a dark entity in a place he couldn't help me'? He seemed hesitant to answer, but my little stunt outside the storage facility seemed to have sufficiently motivated him.
"When I said I've never done this before, I meant it." Trent started. "I've never done this exact thing before—meaning I've never projected someone into the past."
"So, I'm time traveling?" I asked.
"No—don't think of it like that." Trent paused, trying to come up with a good explanation. "It's more like I'm opening a window for you to look through: not a door. You're going to see the past, but you can't interact with the physicalities there. But that doesn't mean you can't interact with anything."
There was a space of silence as Trent tried to let me work out his meaning for myself. "I don't get it. Are you saying there's something I can interact with? Like what?" And then it hit me. "The demon. The demon can interact with me? Meaning what? It can kill me?"
"Meaning… I'm not exactly sure. You're going to be in a kind of psychic space. If it does damage, it won't be to your body. It'll be to your mind—or spirit. But I don't know what the limits of that damage could be. I just don't have those answers."
"If you've never done this, how do you know any of it will work?"
"That's an easy one." Trent answered. "Because it's been done to me."
There was silence.
"Look, if I know anything, I know my tech. Don't doubt that this will work. It's my job to make sure it does. I just need you to be in the right mental for this. Just because it knows your coming doesn't mean it automatically has the upper hand. It won't be able to see you unless you make contact with it first. In other words, you have to initiate contact. As long as you remain a spectator, you should be okay. Trust me. Just don't make contact."
I started pacing faster—fast enough to catch the attention of the overnight shift worker, a young man whose name I can't quite remember. I know it started with a "J". Jake, maybe? Anyway, he asked if I was alright, to which I responded in the affirmative. He left me alone for another couple passes, but when I almost ran into one of the shelves, he stood up and said, "Uh—I'm going to have to ask you to stop running around. I don't want you to hurt yourself."
I must have stared daggers at him, because he recoiled from my gaze. What's gotten into me? I thought. Then, steadying myself, I apologized. I looked around and grabbed the nearest edible looking piece of merchandise: a bag of Swedish Fish, and placed it down on the counter. "Just this, please."
The cashier rang me up. It was surprisingly cheap.
"Are you sure you're alright?" the young man asked. He was tall with brown hair. He seemed tired—maybe even more tired than me. But he also seemed kind.
I smiled as best I could and said, "No, I'm not. But there's not really anything you can do. Hell, there might not be anything I can do." I furrowed my eyebrows at my own response, realizing that imminent death may have broken my verbal filter.
On the other hand, the cashier did not seem surprised at all. "Ah, I see. It's one of those problems." He responded. "Well, hey, for what it's worth, you seem like one of the resilient ones. I think you'll be alright."
I only smiled and nodded at his mildly cryptic comment. Looking back, the whole interaction was a bit strange, but I had way too much mental clutter to recognize that in the moment. I took my Swedish Fish and walked through the anteroom which led to McDonald's. I found an open yellow booth that wasn't littered with crumpled straw sleeves and sat down, chomping mindlessly on my little red fish until Trent returned. When he arrived, he took my place, and I went to shower. After we were both clean and fed, we returned to the van. The pings were still pushed safely out of harm's way. But that didn't mean we were out of harm's way. Trent asked me if I wanted to sleep in the van, saying that "it'd be the safest place."
I thought it over. He was right, obviously. The van was not only outfitted with weapons I couldn't even begin to understand, but it was also our escape, and it would be just as difficult, if not more difficult to break into than the studio-style motel rooms with their wood doors and big windows. Still, if this was going to be my last night on earth, I wanted to sleep in a bed. A real bed. Trent understood and said he'd stay parked right outside my room for the night.
After purchasing a key from the night attendant, I moseyed over to the cement walkways which connected the twenty or so rooms. Mine was room #56, which I thought was odd since, like I said, there were only 20 rooms. I lugged in my tomato plushie and dad's old book and placed them on the queen mattress.
"I'll be right outside." Trent said after I collapsed onto the bed.
"Trent," I called out, stopping him half-way through the door.
"Yeah?"
All the blood in my body rushed up to my face as I realized my unfiltered mouth almost reflexively said the word "stay". I stared at Trent, my heart beating, my face hot. I considered asking him to sleep on the floor like my dad, but that would be childish and impolite. The alternative was to share my bed… Or I could take the floor.
"I'll just be right outside." Trent said before my mind processed a solution. "Come by if you need anything. I'll be up most of the night anyway."
"Okay," I replied in a faint voice.
Trent shut the door.
I sat atop the bedsheets and acquainted myself with my new living space. A feeling of regret closed over me as I considered that even sleeping on a carseat would have been better if it meant I didn't have to be alone. With a sigh, I turned on the bedside lamp and grabbed the book and stuffed tomato, using the tomato as a backrest as I slipped my legs under the covers and situated the book upright on my thighs. I cracked it open and was immediately blasted with a puff of dusty, old book scent. It was ripe at first, and I turned my head away to sneeze, but as I perused through the pages, the scent grew on me. It reminded me of the days growing up when I'd step into dad's study and read through one of the many volumes on cryptic topics which were at least two college degrees above my Lexile range.
I was only a couple minutes into browsing the collection of different scientific and philosophical works when I came across a page which contained highlighted text. This was unusual, as my dad would never mark up his books. He was a purist on that point. I rubbed my thumb over the yellow lines, and sure enough, it was highlighter.
The highlighted text was part of a small book by Carl Jung called "Synchronicity". There were a total of three pages that were marked, and they advanced like this:
Page 5:
The philosophical principle that underlies our conception of natural law is causality*. But if the connection between cause and effect turns out to be only statistically valid and relatively true, then the causal principle is only of relative use for explaining natural processes… That is as much to say that the connection of events may in certain circumstances be other than causal, and require another principle of explanation.*
Page 19:
…there are events which are related to one another experimentally, and in this case meaningfully*, without there being any possibility of proving that this relation is a causal one, since the "transmission" exhibits none of the known properties of energy…a situation which does not yet exist and will only occur in the future could transmit itself as a phenomenon of energy to a receiver in the present…Therefore, it cannot be a question of cause and effect, but of a falling together in time, a kind of simultaneity... "synchronicity"*
Page 22:
A young woman I was treating had, at a critical moment, a dream in which she was given a golden scarab. While she was telling me this dream I sat with my back to the closed window. Suddenly I heard a noise behind me, like a gentle tapping. I turned round and saw a flying insect knocking against the window pane from outside. I opened the window and caught the creature in the air as it flew in. It was the nearest analogy to a golden scarab that one finds in our latitudes, a scarabaeid beetle, the common rose-chafer… which contrary to its usual habits had evidently felt an urge to get into a dark room at this particular moment.
I flipped through the rest of the pages of the book. There was no more highlighted text, but there was a message on the last page which read:
Matthew 7:7-8
I'll meet you in the darkest place.
He also included his typical smiley face which had an ovular shape and three sprouts of hair which I now realized kind of resembled my tomato plushie. It was my dad's writing, of course. But why? And how? What did this mean?
The motel had a Bible stashed away in the nighstand drawer. I got it out and looked up the verses which read the following:
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: for every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
I spent maybe an hour ruminating on all of this. The whole discourse on energy and causality and a "falling together in time" just seemed so right. It was clear that my dad definitely did know what I was going through, but for whatever reason, he made it seem like he was oblivious. Why had he hidden that from me? I felt like I was being pulled in two directions. On the one hand, my dad loved me enough to leave this note, maybe even knowing the exact moment I'd need it. But on the other hand, he had neglected my struggles throughout my entire childhood. He even lied at times. Was this really enough to make up for all of that?
And then there was the section about the future transmitting energy to the past. I read back through the whole paragraph and the original writer had meant it to say this as something that wasn't possible, but my dad's highlighting made it seem like he wanted to flip the meaning. The future does affect the past. I thought about where I was headed and wondered if I would soon discover that for myself.
Lastly, dad's message. The Bible verse reminded me of the first time I prayed; how I reached out to God and received peace as an answer to my prayer. Now I feel like I'm actively seeking… something, but I don't know yet what I'll find. And then there's knocking. At first that reminded me of the story with the beetle tapping on the window, but then I went back even deeper in my memory and dug out the monster tapping at my window, and the words my dad spoke to me in order to set my mind at ease: "you're a superhero. And you know what your greatest superpower is? Your greatest power is you get to tell the monsters what to do. Because the monsters are only as strong as the stories you tell about them…so if you're ever scared, honey, just dream up a better story."
I was crying into my stuffed tomato now. I felt like all the blinking pieces of my life had finally been pulled together into a completed puzzle. This was all by design. My entire life, filled with so much chaos and confusion, was actually preparing me for this moment. And my dad thought I had the tools and strength enough to get through it. I flipped through the book one more time, thinking maybe he had left some other hidden comment—some formula to defeat this demon and return home. But there was nothing. Only that one comment: "I'll meet you in the darkest place."
What's the darkest place, dad? Is that where I'm going? Are you saying you'll be there, too?
With those thoughts in mind, my eyes became heavy shutters which, with a slight pressure on the pulley, winded shut. My swimming thoughts and firework-like fears dissipated, and I returned to a precious childhood memory. It was after an evening soccer practice. Summer. Dad was driving me to Dairy Queen. I got a cherry-dipped twist cone. I was happy.
So, so happy.
***
I woke up to sunlight blaring through my windows. Shit, I overslept, was my immediate thought. I threw off my covers and opened the front door. A glance at the clock showed 1:13 PM. I shouldn't have even been allowed to stay checked in this long. Damn, am I gonna get double-billed for this?
I heard a rummaging sound around the corner of my motel room. It sounded like a squirrel was trying to find an afternoon snack in one of the garbage bins. I stepped outside. The sun was extremely bright, to the point where I had to squint and put my hand over my eyes to even see the ground in front of me. I was trying to walk toward the van, but somehow I ended up in front of the trash bins where the animal's tail was sticking out from a turned-over, silver garbage can. Its tail was wagging excitedly, and I remember thinking that it was much too large to be a squirrel.
The animal bent down as if biting onto something, and I heard the sound of its growl as it struggled to tug whatever it was free from the barrel. Inch by inch, the creature backed out of the canister, and more of its sharp, sticky hair was revealed. I heard something snap, then the creature leapt back and I saw what it was chomping on. My eyes widened in horror as the pink tube of a human intestine was pulled taut like the end of a tangled hose. Blood and entrails were spilling out of the human's opened gut. And then, behind the canine, I saw the person's face. His face was pale white, his eyes closed, and his hair was slicked back… It was Trent.
Before I could react, I heard footsteps approaching from behind. I whirled around and saw my dad. But—no, it wasn't him. It was someone wearing a paper-mache face mask that was painted to look like my dad. The forehead of the mask was already beginning to crack, white specks breaking off like sawdust. Through the cracks, I could see the figure's true form. I didn't know darkness had its own type of light, but that's the only way to describe it. It was as if malevolence itself was reified into a skin which was actually an amalgamation of millions of little, oozing parasites that leached into the nearby light. When it finally spoke, the demon's voice was a full octave lower than the old man's at the deli. And it had an earth-stilling gravitas.
"Today's the day!" He sang and reached into his pocket. His lips curled upward into a foxy smirk. "You have no idea how long I've waited for this day." He said and held up a razor blade. Half his facade had already fallen apart, and now I could see the bugs up close, writhing in what was either horror or ecstasy. And his scent… it was somehow more rank than the rabid coyote rummaging through the trash can with Trent's cut open body inside. The demon closed in on my position, and in one, decisive motion, he brought the blade close to his chin, then sliced it across my throat. "Wake up!" He screamed.
I jumped out of my bed and grabbed my throat, feeling the cold sting of its quick slice. Hyperventilating, I patted the area down, trying to hold the blood in, but when I removed my hands, I saw they were dry. It was only a dream, I thought. Gray light was only beginning to filter in through the drapes. I'm in my hotel room. I'm safe. I tried consoling, but the pragmatic mental massages weren't enough to hold the force of my knees buckling. I dropped onto the carpet and cried for a long while.
Outside, rain was beginning to fall.
***
By the time I met up with Trent, I had already composed myself and decided to keep my dad's message and the nightmare to myself. None of it seemed particularly productive from a logistical standpoint, anyway. And I wanted to focus on the mission.
We stopped by McDonald's and bought a couple cups of coffee. Trent asked if I wanted any food, and I declined. Black coffee seemed like the only thing my stomach could take at the present moment. I could tell Trent was hungry, but he tried playing it off (I guess to be respectful of me?) I told him to knock it off and get something to eat. I didn't need my Charon getting lightheaded and dropping the paddle before he finished rowing me to Hell. He didn't care much for my joke, but he ordered a couple Chicken McGriddles at the kiosk anyway.
There were maybe ten patrons spread throughout the restaurant. We sat down at the same booth from the prior night, this time across from one another. Trent spent the first ten minutes or so babbling about our fuel supply and the logistics of the trip from here on in. Practical stuff. I've come to realize that's how he deals with his stress. He talks it out in short, durable sentences. I mostly nodded and watched as what looked like a storm front closed in on the truck stop. The sky was overcast, and there were darker clouds in the distance. The rain was still only a patter, but a middle-aged man wearing a yellow bow tie on the wall-mounted TV confirmed that there would be heavier rain and thunderstorms very soon.
After the worker delivered Trent's food and he ate it in record time, I posed the one question that was still on my mind.
"How do I fight him?" I asked.
Trent finished a large gulp of his coffee, then looked at me. It was the first substantial thing I'd said all morning; Trent could tell something was off with me, but he figured there was no point in asking what it was. "By 'him', I assume you mean the demon?"
I nodded.
Trent licked his teeth clean. "You could try praying again."
"I'm serious," I responded.
"I'm serious, too. It worked before, didn't it?"
"You mean at my house?"
Trent nodded.
"I thought you weren't a religious man?"
"I'm not. Just a practical one. If praying worked before, maybe it'll work again."
"That's the best you've got? A maybe?"
"No, I've got a lot of shit better than a maybe." He answered. "It's just not accessible where you're going. Which is why I recommend not making contact on the first run."
"First run? So we're going to do this more than once?"
"At least," Trent answered. Then, seeing my expression, he continued. "What? You thought this was going to be a one-and-done? We have to conduct some research first. I did tell you this was new for me, right?"
Somehow Trent's response had set my mind at ease a little. I was going to have more than one chance. Of course, why wouldn't I be able to go back more than once?
"Why didn't you tell me this earlier? It would have gone a long way in easing my mind."
Trent lifted his hands in defense. "Sorry, I just thought that was a given. I mean, what we're doing is dangerous, just like I said, but it doesn't mean we aren't going to approach this as safely and scientifically as possible. However, there is a different problem with running multiple trials."
"The Organization?"
"That's right," Trent said like a proud parent. "Our little experiment will be like a giant spotlight, and the longer we wait around after it's on us, the greater the chance we'll have unwelcome company."
"So, safe but speedy."
"Safe but speedy. Exactly."
***
We fueled up and were back on the road a little after 8:00. From that point on, Trent and I were absolutely silent. I had the distinct feeling of being in the eye of a storm. The pings moved closer commensurate with our progress toward the crash site. The cloudfront continued its advance. And I noticed a haze beginning to descend onto the road ahead of us. It was fog.
We meandered further inland, the forest thickening around us until the rain almost stopped entirely—the leaves drinking it up before it fell onto our windshield. I kept my eyes on the radar. We were approaching the large yellow circle which indicated we had arrived. As we pulled closer, I began to feel things. Fear. Eeriness. Doubt. Then happiness. Hope. Love. Normally feelings like these had a clear source to picture, but these sensations came on in waves without any discernible reason. It was almost as if they were blinking into existence inside me.
"Here we go," Trent said like an airline pilot readying his crew for turbulence.
I still recall the exact moment we crossed the boundary into the area of higher energy. It was like something just "clicked" in my brain, and all of a sudden everything felt so much closer. The sound of the rain against the trees was almost right next to my ear. The trees in the distance would oscillate between their position a half-mile out, then suddenly seem five meters away. If I focused on something long enough, it began to radiate those same ethereal particles as when Trent released Ava's "phase lock". I checked to make sure the shifter wasn't set to "TD". Sure enough, it was still in drive.
"Can you see them?" Trent asked. "The shifts?"
"Yeah," I said in a dreamy voice. I felt like I was driving through a wonderland.
"It's the energy. I barely notice a difference. A bit of movement in the trees, but not much else. But I'm sure for you, it's a whole experience."
"What is this?" I raised my hand and caught some of the pixel dust dripping off the sun visor. It disappeared when it made contact with my hand.
"It's a kind of radiation. Everything emits it, just in different quantities. I'm still not exactly sure how it relates to the other realms, but I'm guessing it's a kind of primordial matter that helps connect our worlds."
"It's beautiful," I exclaimed. "I wish I could see the world like this all the time."
"Maybe you will," Trent whispered.
As we arrived at the crash site, I began to get glimpses of the past. My childhood dreams and memories were pushing their way out from my subconscious. I noticed an increased number of blinks, which were validated by Ava who reported the following: "Currently detecting 14,350 novel emergences and 2,777 controlled agents. Net anomalies: 2,777."
"That's a lot of blinks." I remarked. "Why doesn't Ava include them in the net anomalies?"
Trent turned his head so I could see his smirk. "Because blinks aren't anomalies."
I thought about it for a second. Blinks aren't anomalies. "I never thought about it that way."
"It's hard to think about it that way when 'normal' for most people means not picking up on a fundamental aspect of reality. But that doesn't make it any less real."
We continued past the epicenter of the yellow circle. "Are we not stopping?" I asked. "I think we already passed the crash site."
"It doesn't have to be exactly at the site," Trent said. "Plus, we don't want to stop on the side of the road and risk getting some civilian involved. There's a field about half a mile up ahead. I'm going to pull off the road and set up camp there.
The "field" that Trent was referring to was actually a large clearing that dipped down into several trench-like troughs which were filled to the brim with fog like witches cauldrons. Further on in the distance, I saw open fields, probably used for farming, and then a large hill where the trees once again reasserted themselves. We had pulled off the road and up a small incline where the trees had already been broken down, leaving a trail for us to drive through. When we surfaced at the edge of the clearing, Trent pulled us onto a flat bed of dried mud which was maybe thirty yards long.
"Here," he said with a sigh.
We both sat for a minute, looking around at the field. We had finally arrived. The rain was beginning to pick up, and the dark sky made it almost impossible to discern the time of day.
"You ready?" Trent asked.
I looked at him. Really looked at him. In his blue eyes. Was I ready? Did it even matter?
"Let's do this," I said.
***
This was the first time I was really able to inspect the back of Trent's van. He had talked up his gear a lot, and honestly, I was impressed. Not in the way that a scientist is impressed by another scientist's lab—I wasn't any kind of expert—but it still seemed remarkably well managed. Now that I was in a state where my vision had been enhanced, I could actually see the enigmatic particles circulating through the pneumatic tubes which were coiled like the pipes and valves of an elaborate wind instrument. The walls of the van, itself, were glistening white, making it easier to make out everything else inside. Along the floor were five overturned columns. Each column was dark and had a vibrating quality, as if they were charged with energy. Then atop the center three columns was a small altar which supported an apparatus with two skinny, metal arms holding a silver halo. At present, the arms were folded and the halo was suspended a few inches above the altar, faced-down. I thought maybe I'd see particles exuding from it, but instead it was emitting visible waves which bent and warped everything they touched.
"That thing is emitting a lot of energy." I remarked, gesturing toward the halo.
Trent stepped in between the columns and started pulling out the packages he had stuffed in there yesterday. "Just wait till' it's on."
Most of the packages contained only a single piece of equipment, and were otherwise packed with foam peanuts. We carefully removed each box and set them on the ground outside. I asked if the rain would damage any of the stuff inside, to which Trent only laughed and continued lugging out the boxes. When they were all out, Trent removed a box cutter from his pocket and went one-by-one opening them. There were eight pieces in total.
"What is it?" I asked as we fished the first item out.
"It's another apparatus, like the one inside. Except it'll mount on the ground out here."
I pulled out what looked like a metal tripod.
"Good, that'll go on the bottom."
"Where are we setting it up?"
"Over here," Trent said and stepped five paces away from the van. He coordinated himself up so he was centrally aligned with the inner ring, then stomped a few times. "This is the spot."
As we continued to work, I asked Trent about how the whole contraption works.
"Do you remember the first time we were in the van? When we had to escape from the semi-truck?" Trent asked and connected a secondary mounting apparatus on top of the tripod. It had four spider-like legs that made right angles and stuck into the ground.
"Of course," I said. "The 'phase lock'."
"Yeah," Trent said and gestured toward the metal stick that was in my hand. I handed it to him. "The phase lock is a seal on the level of energy that the van is allowed to release. It also controls its dispersion pattern so that it releases its energy in a steady wave. This allows Ava to scan for anomalies without causing us to become an anomaly." Trent stuck the plank into the neck of the tripod.
"So when you released the phase lock, we started emitting more energy."
"That's right." Trent confirmed. "Enough to create an alternate route through a different realm."
"So we blinked into a different realm, then back, just to avoid that truck?"
"That's right."
"But why couldn't we just move out of the way?"
"Because it had locked onto us. It was tracking our motion and adjusting its course based on the amount of energy we were emitting. So in order to escape, we had to radically skew our potential energy and then use it to shift."
"Couldn't he have just followed us?"
Trent connected four more pieces to the device which now looked like an elaborate teepee. He was fishing in the last box when he spoke again. "Yeah, he could have. But it was highly improbable that he would have found us." Trent returned from the bottom of the box with another silver ring in hand. "Think of it like this. Let's say you're trying to escape from some bad guy who's coming after you, and you enter a new room you've never seen before. Would you prefer this room to have three doors to go through, or ten?"
I thought about his riddle for a second, then responded, "It depends where they go."
Trent fastened the ring atop the teepee. "Let's say they all lead to random places, or let's say they're all closets that lead nowhere. The key is that more is better, because the more doors he has to check, the less likely he is to pick the correct one. Make sense?"
"So we opened up a bunch of doors and escaped through one at random?"
"Hence the gear 'TD', for 'Trap Door'."
I marveled at the insights, but not for long. Trent hopped back in the van and pulled a lever that I hadn't seen until now. The two metal arms raised the inner ring until it was perpendicular with the altar. Then Trent clicked one of three red buttons along the back wall, and I saw what looked like a large, glass eye suspended in a magnifying glass protruding from the wall, aligned with the center of both rings. A couple seconds later, the glass eye began to focus the energy which was being fed to it from the pneumatic tubes, and a blue pyramid of light projected from it into the first ring, then from the first ring into the second ring. All three pieces were aligned at slightly diminishing heights, so the cylinder of light beamed through the second ring, into the ground.
"Alright, time for the first trial."
I felt the nerves starting up in my stomach. Trent sensed this and hopped out of the truck. It was raining quite hard now, though it was still warm. Both Trent and I were soaked, but that hardly concerned us. He reached out and put his hand on my shoulder. "I know you're feeling scared." He said. "But trust me on this. You're going to do fine. Just keep in mind what we talked about. Stay a spectator. Okay?"
I looked into his blue eyes, which seemed especially gray in the dark. Still, Trent's voice was reassuring. All I had to do was trust him. Trust myself. Trust my dad. And it was all going to turn out right.
"I'm ready," I said.
Trent was still for a second, holding my eyes in his. Then he guided me behind the outer ring and into the cylinder of light.
"I should step into it now?" I asked, afraid I'd be called away immediately.
"It's not on yet, so don't worry. I still have to press another button."
I followed Trent's instructions and stood in the blue light which was centered on my chest. Then I watched as Trent ran into the back of the van and posted up next to the glass eye. "Ready?" He yelled out. It was hard to hear him over the rain, but I yelled back. "Ready!"
The next thing I saw was a blinding blue light beam from the van. I heard what sounded like a laser, then saw the cylinder oscillate, expanding and compressing. When the energy reached the second ring, I saw everything around me light up—it looked brighter than noon on a cloudless day. Then the oscillations made their way to me, and I was swallowed up whole.
***
When I came to, I was in the backseat of a car. I felt my butt rumbling. Everything was dim and quiet. And then I heard a woman's voice from in front of me.
"Mark, please, not with Lauren in the back."
The man, who I now identified as my father, pulled the cigarette away from his lips and blew the smoke at my mom. He eyed the back seat where I was sitting, using one of five markers that hadn't rolled off my lap to color a rabbit in my animal color book.
"The kid's fine." he said and took another drag.
"Mark," my mom repeated.
I saw my dad raise his hand in a rapid motion. "I said she's fine, Cheryl. Now check the map and make sure we're going the right away. I can't see shit with all this fog."
I took a moment to make sure I was really in the back seat. I patted myself. I clearly had weight. Then I tried touching the car. At first, my fingertips met a solid surface, but when I tried to press through, my hand slipped into the car. I quickly pulled my hand away as if I had reached into a fire.
That's when I heard the little three year old next to me start crying. I turned and saw that little-me had dropped another couple markers onto the ground and was struggling to reach them.
"Hey!" my dad shouted. "What did I say about crying?"
"Quit it, Mark. She just dropped her markers." said my mom; she turned to help me pick them up.
"What did you say to me?" Mark spat with a voice full of guile. He reached out and pushed her back into her seat. "Don't," he commanded. "She has to learn how to deal with life."
"Deal…" My mom started in disbelief. "Deal with life? Do you hear yourself? What's gotten into you?"
"Sometimes shit happens. It doesn't give her the right to cry. You helping her is just going to reinforce her behavior."
"Her behavior? What about your behavior? You're acting like a total dick."
I didn't even have a moment to react before my dad's hand was across my mom's face. I felt the slap more than I heard it, my own face seeming to swell with the force of the blow. I saw my mom cover her mouth and lean away. Then little-me began to cry even louder, which only challenged my dad to step up his own volume.
"Everyone needs to get a fucking grip before I crash this car." My dad shouted and took another drag. The scariest part was I couldn't tell if he was warning us or threatening us. I felt the sudden urge to do something. There was no way this was real. I was definitely in some fantasy concocted by the demon. He wanted to turn me against my dad. That was the only explanation for something like this. My dad was a good man, not… this.
As I contemplated what to do, I saw a small, golden light appear behind little-me's window. Apparently she saw it, too, because her cries hushed as she traced the wisp with her eyes. After a second, the wisp transformed into a bunny rabbit, reminiscent of the one she was coloring. The rabbit hopped alongside the window, then did a couple circles in place. I watched little me let out a playful laugh and reach toward the window.
"What's going on back there?" my dad asked with a scowl. Apparently the only sound more disturbing than cries were laughs.
I looked back to the front and saw my mom wiping blood from her lip. Her expression was miserable. "Leave her alone, Mark."
"I'll do whatever I damn well want to do, Cheryl. It's my kid back there."
My mom was quiet.
When I looked back toward the rabbit, it was no longer a rabbit but a person. Or at least it looked like a person. The figure radiated pure gold, and atop his head was what appeared to be a King's crown. I recalled Allison's experience of seeing the sun-like figure in her moment of distress. Was that what was happening here? Was this really all true?
"Hey!" My dad shouted, eyeing little-me from the rear-view mirror. "What are you reaching at?"
I looked and saw the golden figure extending his hand toward the window, and little me's hand was reaching back. "Mom, dad, it bright." little-me said.
"What's bright, honey?" my mom asked.
"Don't encourage her, Cheryl."
"Someone there!" little me shouted happily and dropped the rest of the markers and the coloring book onto the ground.
"Who's there?" asked my mom.
"Cheryl, I swear to God. Sit the fuck down."
Everything from that moment on happened so quickly I barely had any time to process it. My mom lifted out of her seat to either get little me's attention or help me pick up my coloring book. My dad responded by grabbing onto her throat, letting go of the steering wheel entirely. He threw her back against the car door, and her head hit the window so hard, the glass cracked. My dad had dropped his cigarette, and I could smell smoke coming from under his seat, but that didn't seem to bother him at all. He turned toward little-me at the same moment my three-year-old hand reached out and grabbed onto the golden figure, whose hand diffused through the window. When my dad turned, I got a whiff of the most awful smell that I wouldn't have been able to place had I not had that nightmare last night. He grabbed onto little-me's shoulder and tugged her away from the golden figure that was trying to pull her the other way. My dad's facade began to crack, and I could see those dark bugs crawling out from the pores in his arms, marching down toward little-me.
I reacted.
I grabbed onto my dad's arm and pulled him off little-me. I heard the sound of my shirt ripping as she was torn from his grip and pulled out of the car, diffusing through it like a ghost. My brief victory was immediately overturned as I saw what was now clearly the demon smiling at me, his wretched fingers curled around my forearm.
"Caught you," He sneered.
Then the whole world once again diffused into countless numbers of particles, only this time, instead of riding through it, I felt like I was falling through an elevator shaft with each floor darker than the last. The further I fell, the less I became aware of my surroundings, and the more I felt a deep sense of loneliness. It was as if I was the only person in the whole world: and the whole world was a prison designed entirely for me. This went on for so long, I began to forget who I was. Where I was. What was.
And then I landed.
***
Source Used:
Jung, Carl. Synchronicity. Translated by Sonu Shamdasani, Princeton University Press, 2010.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Content Warning: Domestic Abuse
***
We pulled off I-51 a little after midnight, stopping at a truck stop which was couched between the highway and a large forest.
We waited in the van for ten minutes or so. Trent had increased the sonar radius to its maximum of 30 miles a little over an hour ago. Somehow the red pings had kept up with us, holding a steady distance of around 20 miles. Considering we were averaging around 80 mph, and a coyote's top speed is only around 40 mph, we figured they had been enhanced in some way. Either that, or they shape-shifted into something faster. Regardless, now that we had stopped, we waited to see if the demon spawn would try and close the distance. Luckily, or unluckily, they didn't. They kept their 20 mile buffer, but we noticed they were beginning to spread out along the circumference of that boundary.
"We're close. They know that, so they're trying to trap us in." Trent said.
"Trying to?—more like they have."
We considered whether we should stay in the van and keep watch, but we figured that would do us little good. At their speed, they could be on us in ten minutes, which means we would need to stay up all night and keep tabs on their positions. Trent offered to stay up, of course, but I shut him down.
"The demon doesn't want to kill us now. You said it yourself. Plus, we need our rest. If they come, they come."
Trent didn't like it, but he acquiesced.
The truck stop had all the essentials: a gas station and mini mart with showers and an attached McDonald's, a large parking lot for truckers to idle and sleep, and even a section with lodging for those who wanted a more comfortable night's rest. I told Trent that he should take advantage of the showers, and after a little convincing, he agreed. While he was cleaning himself up, I patrolled the dingy, half-stocked aisles of "Daisy's Quick Mart". I probably would have been appalled at the quality of the store had I actually been paying any attention to it whatsoever. But I wasn't. I was thinking hard about what awaited me tomorrow.
During the drive, I had asked Trent why the demon would want us to return to the crash site. What did he mean that I would be 'confronting a dark entity in a place he couldn't help me'? He seemed hesitant to answer, but my little stunt outside the storage facility seemed to have sufficiently motivated him.
"When I said I've never done this before, I meant it." Trent started. "I've never done this exact thing before—meaning I've never projected someone into the past."
"So, I'm time traveling?" I asked.
"No—don't think of it like that." Trent paused, trying to come up with a good explanation. "It's more like I'm opening a window for you to look through: not a door. You're going to see the past, but you can't interact with the physicalities there. But that doesn't mean you can't interact with anything."
There was a space of silence as Trent tried to let me work out his meaning for myself. "I don't get it. Are you saying there's something I can interact with? Like what?" And then it hit me. "The demon. The demon can interact with me? Meaning what? It can kill me?"
"Meaning… I'm not exactly sure. You're going to be in a kind of psychic space. If it does damage, it won't be to your body. It'll be to your mind—or spirit. But I don't know what the limits of that damage could be. I just don't have those answers."
"If you've never done this, how do you know any of it will work?"
"That's an easy one." Trent answered. "Because it's been done to me."
There was silence.
"Look, if I know anything, I know my tech. Don't doubt that this will work. It's my job to make sure it does. I just need you to be in the right mental for this. Just because it knows your coming doesn't mean it automatically has the upper hand. It won't be able to see you unless you make contact with it first. In other words, you have to initiate contact. As long as you remain a spectator, you should be okay. Trust me. Just don't make contact."
I started pacing faster—fast enough to catch the attention of the overnight shift worker, a young man whose name I can't quite remember. I know it started with a "J". Jake, maybe? Anyway, he asked if I was alright, to which I responded in the affirmative. He left me alone for another couple passes, but when I almost ran into one of the shelves, he stood up and said, "Uh—I'm going to have to ask you to stop running around. I don't want you to hurt yourself."
I must have stared daggers at him, because he recoiled from my gaze. What's gotten into me? I thought. Then, steadying myself, I apologized. I looked around and grabbed the nearest edible looking piece of merchandise: a bag of Swedish Fish, and placed it down on the counter. "Just this, please."
The cashier rang me up. It was surprisingly cheap.
"Are you sure you're alright?" the young man asked. He was tall with brown hair. He seemed tired—maybe even more tired than me. But he also seemed kind.
I smiled as best I could and said, "No, I'm not. But there's not really anything you can do. Hell, there might not be anything I can do." I furrowed my eyebrows at my own response, realizing that imminent death may have broken my verbal filter.
On the other hand, the cashier did not seem surprised at all. "Ah, I see. It's one of those problems." He responded. "Well, hey, for what it's worth, you seem like one of the resilient ones. I think you'll be alright."
I only smiled and nodded at his mildly cryptic comment. Looking back, the whole interaction was a bit strange, but I had way too much mental clutter to recognize that in the moment. I took my Swedish Fish and walked through the anteroom which led to McDonald's. I found an open yellow booth that wasn't littered with crumpled straw sleeves and sat down, chomping mindlessly on my little red fish until Trent returned. When he arrived, he took my place, and I went to shower. After we were both clean and fed, we returned to the van. The pings were still pushed safely out of harm's way. But that didn't mean we were out of harm's way. Trent asked me if I wanted to sleep in the van, saying that "it'd be the safest place."
I thought it over. He was right, obviously. The van was not only outfitted with weapons I couldn't even begin to understand, but it was also our escape, and it would be just as difficult, if not more difficult to break into than the studio-style motel rooms with their wood doors and big windows. Still, if this was going to be my last night on earth, I wanted to sleep in a bed. A real bed. Trent understood and said he'd stay parked right outside my room for the night.
After purchasing a key from the night attendant, I moseyed over to the cement walkways which connected the twenty or so rooms. Mine was room #56, which I thought was odd since, like I said, there were only 20 rooms. I lugged in my tomato plushie and dad's old book and placed them on the queen mattress.
"I'll be right outside." Trent said after I collapsed onto the bed.
"Trent," I called out, stopping him half-way through the door.
"Yeah?"
All the blood in my body rushed up to my face as I realized my unfiltered mouth almost reflexively said the word "stay". I stared at Trent, my heart beating, my face hot. I considered asking him to sleep on the floor like my dad, but that would be childish and impolite. The alternative was to share my bed… Or I could take the floor.
"I'll just be right outside." Trent said before my mind processed a solution. "Come by if you need anything. I'll be up most of the night anyway."
"Okay," I replied in a faint voice.
Trent shut the door.
I sat atop the bedsheets and acquainted myself with my new living space. A feeling of regret closed over me as I considered that even sleeping on a carseat would have been better if it meant I didn't have to be alone. With a sigh, I turned on the bedside lamp and grabbed the book and stuffed tomato, using the tomato as a backrest as I slipped my legs under the covers and situated the book upright on my thighs. I cracked it open and was immediately blasted with a puff of dusty, old book scent. It was ripe at first, and I turned my head away to sneeze, but as I perused through the pages, the scent grew on me. It reminded me of the days growing up when I'd step into dad's study and read through one of the many volumes on cryptic topics which were at least two college degrees above my Lexile range.
I was only a couple minutes into browsing the collection of different scientific and philosophical works when I came across a page which contained highlighted text. This was unusual, as my dad would never mark up his books. He was a purist on that point. I rubbed my thumb over the yellow lines, and sure enough, it was highlighter.
The highlighted text was part of a small book by Carl Jung called "Synchronicity". There were a total of three pages that were marked, and they advanced like this:
Page 5:
The philosophical principle that underlies our conception of natural law is causality*. But if the connection between cause and effect turns out to be only statistically valid and relatively true, then the causal principle is only of relative use for explaining natural processes… That is as much to say that the connection of events may in certain circumstances be other than causal, and require another principle of explanation.*
Page 19:
…there are events which are related to one another experimentally, and in this case meaningfully*, without there being any possibility of proving that this relation is a causal one, since the "transmission" exhibits none of the known properties of energy…a situation which does not yet exist and will only occur in the future could transmit itself as a phenomenon of energy to a receiver in the present…Therefore, it cannot be a question of cause and effect, but of a falling together in time, a kind of simultaneity... "synchronicity"*
Page 22:
A young woman I was treating had, at a critical moment, a dream in which she was given a golden scarab. While she was telling me this dream I sat with my back to the closed window. Suddenly I heard a noise behind me, like a gentle tapping. I turned round and saw a flying insect knocking against the window pane from outside. I opened the window and caught the creature in the air as it flew in. It was the nearest analogy to a golden scarab that one finds in our latitudes, a scarabaeid beetle, the common rose-chafer… which contrary to its usual habits had evidently felt an urge to get into a dark room at this particular moment.
I flipped through the rest of the pages of the book. There was no more highlighted text, but there was a message on the last page which read:
Matthew 7:7-8
I'll meet you in the darkest place.
He also included his typical smiley face which had an ovular shape and three sprouts of hair which I now realized kind of resembled my tomato plushie. It was my dad's writing, of course. But why? And how? What did this mean?
The motel had a Bible stashed away in the nighstand drawer. I got it out and looked up the verses which read the following:
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: for every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
I spent maybe an hour ruminating on all of this. The whole discourse on energy and causality and a "falling together in time" just seemed so right. It was clear that my dad definitely did know what I was going through, but for whatever reason, he made it seem like he was oblivious. Why had he hidden that from me? I felt like I was being pulled in two directions. On the one hand, my dad loved me enough to leave this note, maybe even knowing the exact moment I'd need it. But on the other hand, he had neglected my struggles throughout my entire childhood. He even lied at times. Was this really enough to make up for all of that?
And then there was the section about the future transmitting energy to the past. I read back through the whole paragraph and the original writer had meant it to say this as something that wasn't possible, but my dad's highlighting made it seem like he wanted to flip the meaning. The future does affect the past. I thought about where I was headed and wondered if I would soon discover that for myself.
Lastly, dad's message. The Bible verse reminded me of the first time I prayed; how I reached out to God and received peace as an answer to my prayer. Now I feel like I'm actively seeking… something, but I don't know yet what I'll find. And then there's knocking. At first that reminded me of the story with the beetle tapping on the window, but then I went back even deeper in my memory and dug out the monster tapping at my window, and the words my dad spoke to me in order to set my mind at ease: "you're a superhero. And you know what your greatest superpower is? Your greatest power is you get to tell the monsters what to do. Because the monsters are only as strong as the stories you tell about them…so if you're ever scared, honey, just dream up a better story."
I was crying into my stuffed tomato now. I felt like all the blinking pieces of my life had finally been pulled together into a completed puzzle. This was all by design. My entire life, filled with so much chaos and confusion, was actually preparing me for this moment. And my dad thought I had the tools and strength enough to get through it. I flipped through the book one more time, thinking maybe he had left some other hidden comment—some formula to defeat this demon and return home. But there was nothing. Only that one comment: "I'll meet you in the darkest place."
What's the darkest place, dad? Is that where I'm going? Are you saying you'll be there, too?
With those thoughts in mind, my eyes became heavy shutters which, with a slight pressure on the pulley, winded shut. My swimming thoughts and firework-like fears dissipated, and I returned to a precious childhood memory. It was after an evening soccer practice. Summer. Dad was driving me to Dairy Queen. I got a cherry-dipped twist cone. I was happy.
So, so happy.
***
I woke up to sunlight blaring through my windows. Shit, I overslept, was my immediate thought. I threw off my covers and opened the front door. A glance at the clock showed 1:13 PM. I shouldn't have even been allowed to stay checked in this long. Damn, am I gonna get double-billed for this?
I heard a rummaging sound around the corner of my motel room. It sounded like a squirrel was trying to find an afternoon snack in one of the garbage bins. I stepped outside. The sun was extremely bright, to the point where I had to squint and put my hand over my eyes to even see the ground in front of me. I was trying to walk toward the van, but somehow I ended up in front of the trash bins where the animal's tail was sticking out from a turned-over, silver garbage can. Its tail was wagging excitedly, and I remember thinking that it was much too large to be a squirrel.
The animal bent down as if biting onto something, and I heard the sound of its growl as it struggled to tug whatever it was free from the barrel. Inch by inch, the creature backed out of the canister, and more of its sharp, sticky hair was revealed. I heard something snap, then the creature leapt back and I saw what it was chomping on. My eyes widened in horror as the pink tube of a human intestine was pulled taut like the end of a tangled hose. Blood and entrails were spilling out of the human's opened gut. And then, behind the canine, I saw the person's face. His face was pale white, his eyes closed, and his hair was slicked back… It was Trent.
Before I could react, I heard footsteps approaching from behind. I whirled around and saw my dad. But—no, it wasn't him. It was someone wearing a paper-mache face mask that was painted to look like my dad. The forehead of the mask was already beginning to crack, white specks breaking off like sawdust. Through the cracks, I could see the figure's true form. I didn't know darkness had its own type of light, but that's the only way to describe it. It was as if malevolence itself was reified into a skin which was actually an amalgamation of millions of little, oozing parasites that leached into the nearby light. When it finally spoke, the demon's voice was a full octave lower than the old man's at the deli. And it had an earth-stilling gravitas.
"Today's the day!" He sang and reached into his pocket. His lips curled upward into a foxy smirk. "You have no idea how long I've waited for this day." He said and held up a razor blade. Half his facade had already fallen apart, and now I could see the bugs up close, writhing in what was either horror or ecstasy. And his scent… it was somehow more rank than the rabid coyote rummaging through the trash can with Trent's cut open body inside. The demon closed in on my position, and in one, decisive motion, he brought the blade close to his chin, then sliced it across my throat. "Wake up!" He screamed.
I jumped out of my bed and grabbed my throat, feeling the cold sting of its quick slice. Hyperventilating, I patted the area down, trying to hold the blood in, but when I removed my hands, I saw they were dry. It was only a dream, I thought. Gray light was only beginning to filter in through the drapes. I'm in my hotel room. I'm safe. I tried consoling, but the pragmatic mental massages weren't enough to hold the force of my knees buckling. I dropped onto the carpet and cried for a long while.
Outside, rain was beginning to fall.
***
By the time I met up with Trent, I had already composed myself and decided to keep my dad's message and the nightmare to myself. None of it seemed particularly productive from a logistical standpoint, anyway. And I wanted to focus on the mission.
We stopped by McDonald's and bought a couple cups of coffee. Trent asked if I wanted any food, and I declined. Black coffee seemed like the only thing my stomach could take at the present moment. I could tell Trent was hungry, but he tried playing it off (I guess to be respectful of me?) I told him to knock it off and get something to eat. I didn't need my Charon getting lightheaded and dropping the paddle before he finished rowing me to Hell. He didn't care much for my joke, but he ordered a couple Chicken McGriddles at the kiosk anyway.
There were maybe ten patrons spread throughout the restaurant. We sat down at the same booth from the prior night, this time across from one another. Trent spent the first ten minutes or so babbling about our fuel supply and the logistics of the trip from here on in. Practical stuff. I've come to realize that's how he deals with his stress. He talks it out in short, durable sentences. I mostly nodded and watched as what looked like a storm front closed in on the truck stop. The sky was overcast, and there were darker clouds in the distance. The rain was still only a patter, but a middle-aged man wearing a yellow bow tie on the wall-mounted TV confirmed that there would be heavier rain and thunderstorms very soon.
After the worker delivered Trent's food and he ate it in record time, I posed the one question that was still on my mind.
"How do I fight him?" I asked.
Trent finished a large gulp of his coffee, then looked at me. It was the first substantial thing I'd said all morning; Trent could tell something was off with me, but he figured there was no point in asking what it was. "By 'him', I assume you mean the demon?"
I nodded.
Trent licked his teeth clean. "You could try praying again."
"I'm serious," I responded.
"I'm serious, too. It worked before, didn't it?"
"You mean at my house?"
Trent nodded.
"I thought you weren't a religious man?"
"I'm not. Just a practical one. If praying worked before, maybe it'll work again."
"That's the best you've got? A maybe?"
"No, I've got a lot of shit better than a maybe." He answered. "It's just not accessible where you're going. Which is why I recommend not making contact on the first run."
"First run? So we're going to do this more than once?"
"At least," Trent answered. Then, seeing my expression, he continued. "What? You thought this was going to be a one-and-done? We have to conduct some research first. I did tell you this was new for me, right?"
Somehow Trent's response had set my mind at ease a little. I was going to have more than one chance. Of course, why wouldn't I be able to go back more than once?
"Why didn't you tell me this earlier? It would have gone a long way in easing my mind."
Trent lifted his hands in defense. "Sorry, I just thought that was a given. I mean, what we're doing is dangerous, just like I said, but it doesn't mean we aren't going to approach this as safely and scientifically as possible. However, there is a different problem with running multiple trials."
"The Organization?"
"That's right," Trent said like a proud parent. "Our little experiment will be like a giant spotlight, and the longer we wait around after it's on us, the greater the chance we'll have unwelcome company."
"So, safe but speedy."
"Safe but speedy. Exactly."
***
We fueled up and were back on the road a little after 8:00. From that point on, Trent and I were absolutely silent. I had the distinct feeling of being in the eye of a storm. The pings moved closer commensurate with our progress toward the crash site. The cloudfront continued its advance. And I noticed a haze beginning to descend onto the road ahead of us. It was fog.
We meandered further inland, the forest thickening around us until the rain almost stopped entirely—the leaves drinking it up before it fell onto our windshield. I kept my eyes on the radar. We were approaching the large yellow circle which indicated we had arrived. As we pulled closer, I began to feel things. Fear. Eeriness. Doubt. Then happiness. Hope. Love. Normally feelings like these had a clear source to picture, but these sensations came on in waves without any discernible reason. It was almost as if they were blinking into existence inside me.
"Here we go," Trent said like an airline pilot readying his crew for turbulence.
I still recall the exact moment we crossed the boundary into the area of higher energy. It was like something just "clicked" in my brain, and all of a sudden everything felt so much closer. The sound of the rain against the trees was almost right next to my ear. The trees in the distance would oscillate between their position a half-mile out, then suddenly seem five meters away. If I focused on something long enough, it began to radiate those same ethereal particles as when Trent released Ava's "phase lock". I checked to make sure the shifter wasn't set to "TD". Sure enough, it was still in drive.
"Can you see them?" Trent asked. "The shifts?"
"Yeah," I said in a dreamy voice. I felt like I was driving through a wonderland.
"It's the energy. I barely notice a difference. A bit of movement in the trees, but not much else. But I'm sure for you, it's a whole experience."
"What is this?" I raised my hand and caught some of the pixel dust dripping off the sun visor. It disappeared when it made contact with my hand.
"It's a kind of radiation. Everything emits it, just in different quantities. I'm still not exactly sure how it relates to the other realms, but I'm guessing it's a kind of primordial matter that helps connect our worlds."
"It's beautiful," I exclaimed. "I wish I could see the world like this all the time."
"Maybe you will," Trent whispered.
As we arrived at the crash site, I began to get glimpses of the past. My childhood dreams and memories were pushing their way out from my subconscious. I noticed an increased number of blinks, which were validated by Ava who reported the following: "Currently detecting 14,350 novel emergences and 2,777 controlled agents. Net anomalies: 2,777."
"That's a lot of blinks." I remarked. "Why doesn't Ava include them in the net anomalies?"
Trent turned his head so I could see his smirk. "Because blinks aren't anomalies."
I thought about it for a second. Blinks aren't anomalies. "I never thought about it that way."
"It's hard to think about it that way when 'normal' for most people means not picking up on a fundamental aspect of reality. But that doesn't make it any less real."
We continued past the epicenter of the yellow circle. "Are we not stopping?" I asked. "I think we already passed the crash site."
"It doesn't have to be exactly at the site," Trent said. "Plus, we don't want to stop on the side of the road and risk getting some civilian involved. There's a field about half a mile up ahead. I'm going to pull off the road and set up camp there.
The "field" that Trent was referring to was actually a large clearing that dipped down into several trench-like troughs which were filled to the brim with fog like witches cauldrons. Further on in the distance, I saw open fields, probably used for farming, and then a large hill where the trees once again reasserted themselves. We had pulled off the road and up a small incline where the trees had already been broken down, leaving a trail for us to drive through. When we surfaced at the edge of the clearing, Trent pulled us onto a flat bed of dried mud which was maybe thirty yards long.
"Here," he said with a sigh.
We both sat for a minute, looking around at the field. We had finally arrived. The rain was beginning to pick up, and the dark sky made it almost impossible to discern the time of day.
"You ready?" Trent asked.
I looked at him. Really looked at him. In his blue eyes. Was I ready? Did it even matter?
"Let's do this," I said.
***
This was the first time I was really able to inspect the back of Trent's van. He had talked up his gear a lot, and honestly, I was impressed. Not in the way that a scientist is impressed by another scientist's lab—I wasn't any kind of expert—but it still seemed remarkably well managed. Now that I was in a state where my vision had been enhanced, I could actually see the enigmatic particles circulating through the pneumatic tubes which were coiled like the pipes and valves of an elaborate wind instrument. The walls of the van, itself, were glistening white, making it easier to make out everything else inside. Along the floor were five overturned columns. Each column was dark and had a vibrating quality, as if they were charged with energy. Then atop the center three columns was a small altar which supported an apparatus with two skinny, metal arms holding a silver halo. At present, the arms were folded and the halo was suspended a few inches above the altar, faced-down. I thought maybe I'd see particles exuding from it, but instead it was emitting visible waves which bent and warped everything they touched.
"That thing is emitting a lot of energy." I remarked, gesturing toward the halo.
Trent stepped in between the columns and started pulling out the packages he had stuffed in there yesterday. "Just wait till' it's on."
Most of the packages contained only a single piece of equipment, and were otherwise packed with foam peanuts. We carefully removed each box and set them on the ground outside. I asked if the rain would damage any of the stuff inside, to which Trent only laughed and continued lugging out the boxes. When they were all out, Trent removed a box cutter from his pocket and went one-by-one opening them. There were eight pieces in total.
"What is it?" I asked as we fished the first item out.
"It's another apparatus, like the one inside. Except it'll mount on the ground out here."
I pulled out what looked like a metal tripod.
"Good, that'll go on the bottom."
"Where are we setting it up?"
"Over here," Trent said and stepped five paces away from the van. He coordinated himself up so he was centrally aligned with the inner ring, then stomped a few times. "This is the spot."
As we continued to work, I asked Trent about how the whole contraption works.
"Do you remember the first time we were in the van? When we had to escape from the semi-truck?" Trent asked and connected a secondary mounting apparatus on top of the tripod. It had four spider-like legs that made right angles and stuck into the ground.
"Of course," I said. "The 'phase lock'."
"Yeah," Trent said and gestured toward the metal stick that was in my hand. I handed it to him. "The phase lock is a seal on the level of energy that the van is allowed to release. It also controls its dispersion pattern so that it releases its energy in a steady wave. This allows Ava to scan for anomalies without causing us to become an anomaly." Trent stuck the plank into the neck of the tripod.
"So when you released the phase lock, we started emitting more energy."
"That's right." Trent confirmed. "Enough to create an alternate route through a different realm."
"So we blinked into a different realm, then back, just to avoid that truck?"
"That's right."
"But why couldn't we just move out of the way?"
"Because it had locked onto us. It was tracking our motion and adjusting its course based on the amount of energy we were emitting. So in order to escape, we had to radically skew our potential energy and then use it to shift."
"Couldn't he have just followed us?"
Trent connected four more pieces to the device which now looked like an elaborate teepee. He was fishing in the last box when he spoke again. "Yeah, he could have. But it was highly improbable that he would have found us." Trent returned from the bottom of the box with another silver ring in hand. "Think of it like this. Let's say you're trying to escape from some bad guy who's coming after you, and you enter a new room you've never seen before. Would you prefer this room to have three doors to go through, or ten?"
I thought about his riddle for a second, then responded, "It depends where they go."
Trent fastened the ring atop the teepee. "Let's say they all lead to random places, or let's say they're all closets that lead nowhere. The key is that more is better, because the more doors he has to check, the less likely he is to pick the correct one. Make sense?"
"So we opened up a bunch of doors and escaped through one at random?"
"Hence the gear 'TD', for 'Trap Door'."
I marveled at the insights, but not for long. Trent hopped back in the van and pulled a lever that I hadn't seen until now. The two metal arms raised the inner ring until it was perpendicular with the altar. Then Trent clicked one of three red buttons along the back wall, and I saw what looked like a large, glass eye suspended in a magnifying glass protruding from the wall, aligned with the center of both rings. A couple seconds later, the glass eye began to focus the energy which was being fed to it from the pneumatic tubes, and a blue pyramid of light projected from it into the first ring, then from the first ring into the second ring. All three pieces were aligned at slightly diminishing heights, so the cylinder of light beamed through the second ring, into the ground.
"Alright, time for the first trial."
I felt the nerves starting up in my stomach. Trent sensed this and hopped out of the truck. It was raining quite hard now, though it was still warm. Both Trent and I were soaked, but that hardly concerned us. He reached out and put his hand on my shoulder. "I know you're feeling scared." He said. "But trust me on this. You're going to do fine. Just keep in mind what we talked about. Stay a spectator. Okay?"
I looked into his blue eyes, which seemed especially gray in the dark. Still, Trent's voice was reassuring. All I had to do was trust him. Trust myself. Trust my dad. And it was all going to turn out right.
"I'm ready," I said.
Trent was still for a second, holding my eyes in his. Then he guided me behind the outer ring and into the cylinder of light.
"I should step into it now?" I asked, afraid I'd be called away immediately.
"It's not on yet, so don't worry. I still have to press another button."
I followed Trent's instructions and stood in the blue light which was centered on my chest. Then I watched as Trent ran into the back of the van and posted up next to the glass eye. "Ready?" He yelled out. It was hard to hear him over the rain, but I yelled back. "Ready!"
The next thing I saw was a blinding blue light beam from the van. I heard what sounded like a laser, then saw the cylinder oscillate, expanding and compressing. When the energy reached the second ring, I saw everything around me light up—it looked brighter than noon on a cloudless day. Then the oscillations made their way to me, and I was swallowed up whole.
***
When I came to, I was in the backseat of a car. I felt my butt rumbling. Everything was dim and quiet. And then I heard a woman's voice from in front of me.
"Mark, please, not with Lauren in the back."
The man, who I now identified as my father, pulled the cigarette away from his lips and blew the smoke at my mom. He eyed the back seat where I was sitting, using one of five markers that hadn't rolled off my lap to color a rabbit in my animal color book.
"The kid's fine." he said and took another drag.
"Mark," my mom repeated.
I saw my dad raise his hand in a rapid motion. "I said she's fine, Cheryl. Now check the map and make sure we're going the right away. I can't see shit with all this fog."
I took a moment to make sure I was really in the back seat. I patted myself. I clearly had weight. Then I tried touching the car. At first, my fingertips met a solid surface, but when I tried to press through, my hand slipped into the car. I quickly pulled my hand away as if I had reached into a fire.
That's when I heard the little three year old next to me start crying. I turned and saw that little-me had dropped another couple markers onto the ground and was struggling to reach them.
"Hey!" my dad shouted. "What did I say about crying?"
"Quit it, Mark. She just dropped her markers." said my mom; she turned to help me pick them up.
"What did you say to me?" Mark spat with a voice full of guile. He reached out and pushed her back into her seat. "Don't," he commanded. "She has to learn how to deal with life."
"Deal…" My mom started in disbelief. "Deal with life? Do you hear yourself? What's gotten into you?"
"Sometimes shit happens. It doesn't give her the right to cry. You helping her is just going to reinforce her behavior."
"Her behavior? What about your behavior? You're acting like a total dick."
I didn't even have a moment to react before my dad's hand was across my mom's face. I felt the slap more than I heard it, my own face seeming to swell with the force of the blow. I saw my mom cover her mouth and lean away. Then little-me began to cry even louder, which only challenged my dad to step up his own volume.
"Everyone needs to get a fucking grip before I crash this car." My dad shouted and took another drag. The scariest part was I couldn't tell if he was warning us or threatening us. I felt the sudden urge to do something. There was no way this was real. I was definitely in some fantasy concocted by the demon. He wanted to turn me against my dad. That was the only explanation for something like this. My dad was a good man, not… this.
As I contemplated what to do, I saw a small, golden light appear behind little-me's window. Apparently she saw it, too, because her cries hushed as she traced the wisp with her eyes. After a second, the wisp transformed into a bunny rabbit, reminiscent of the one she was coloring. The rabbit hopped alongside the window, then did a couple circles in place. I watched little me let out a playful laugh and reach toward the window.
"What's going on back there?" my dad asked with a scowl. Apparently the only sound more disturbing than cries were laughs.
I looked back to the front and saw my mom wiping blood from her lip. Her expression was miserable. "Leave her alone, Mark."
"I'll do whatever I damn well want to do, Cheryl. It's my kid back there."
My mom was quiet.
When I looked back toward the rabbit, it was no longer a rabbit but a person. Or at least it looked like a person. The figure radiated pure gold, and atop his head was what appeared to be a King's crown. I recalled Allison's experience of seeing the sun-like figure in her moment of distress. Was that what was happening here? Was this really all true?
"Hey!" My dad shouted, eyeing little-me from the rear-view mirror. "What are you reaching at?"
I looked and saw the golden figure extending his hand toward the window, and little me's hand was reaching back. "Mom, dad, it bright." little-me said.
"What's bright, honey?" my mom asked.
"Don't encourage her, Cheryl."
"Someone there!" little me shouted happily and dropped the rest of the markers and the coloring book onto the ground.
"Who's there?" asked my mom.
"Cheryl, I swear to God. Sit the fuck down."
Everything from that moment on happened so quickly I barely had any time to process it. My mom lifted out of her seat to either get little me's attention or help me pick up my coloring book. My dad responded by grabbing onto her throat, letting go of the steering wheel entirely. He threw her back against the car door, and her head hit the window so hard, the glass cracked. My dad had dropped his cigarette, and I could smell smoke coming from under his seat, but that didn't seem to bother him at all. He turned toward little-me at the same moment my three-year-old hand reached out and grabbed onto the golden figure, whose hand diffused through the window. When my dad turned, I got a whiff of the most awful smell that I wouldn't have been able to place had I not had that nightmare last night. He grabbed onto little-me's shoulder and tugged her away from the golden figure that was trying to pull her the other way. My dad's facade began to crack, and I could see those dark bugs crawling out from the pores in his arms, marching down toward little-me.
I reacted.
I grabbed onto my dad's arm and pulled him off little-me. I heard the sound of my shirt ripping as she was torn from his grip and pulled out of the car, diffusing through it like a ghost. My brief victory was immediately overturned as I saw what was now clearly the demon smiling at me, his wretched fingers curled around my forearm.
"Caught you," He sneered.
Then the whole world once again diffused into countless numbers of particles, only this time, instead of riding through it, I felt like I was falling through an elevator shaft with each floor darker than the last. The further I fell, the less I became aware of my surroundings, and the more I felt a deep sense of loneliness. It was as if I was the only person in the whole world: and the whole world was a prison designed entirely for me. This went on for so long, I began to forget who I was. Where I was. What was.
And then I landed.
***
Source Used:
Jung, Carl. Synchronicity. Translated by Sonu Shamdasani, Princeton University Press, 2010.

To D.,
Hoping that you never read this letter, that is to say, that I never send it to you,
I think back to your story from yesterday. Imagining what you went through while you were telling me made my blood run cold. You didn't tell me what that boy might have said and repeated to you; it was enough to understand the destructive force of his obsession and relentlessness to trigger deep compassion in me. It was the first time I heard someone talk about their stalker.
Now that I think back, I realize even more how much of an ordeal it must have been. He stole your right to a peaceful daily life and replaced it with a tentacular grip motivated by hopes whose futility he could only consciously ignore. Yet he believed in it, he thought, at least for a moment, that one more message, one more letter would finally win you over. Probably his mind crossed the point of no return, that he couldn't repent, that he had gone too far. Probably he didn't realize that the love he had for you—if he loved you, if that can decently be called love, if he is even capable of love—had turned into an uncontrollable anger of which you were the constant victim. Probably he thought he loved you but also wanted to hurt you, pursuing two completely contradictory goals: to seduce you to attract you and to punish you for rejecting him. So, I quickly agreed with you when you said his behavior was pathological. You learned you were not the only one.
I wouldn't say that one of my first thoughts was to believe that I wasn't like that, as if not being sick deserved a medal or the invented applause of an indefinite crowd living in a corner of my brain. This kind of perversion seemed so far from me that I could only be sincerely sorry for you. I don't even know how many times I told you how sorry I was for you and how brave I found you for filing a complaint, confronting the situation, and reacting with such strength despite the mental cost it might represent.
At that moment, I felt pure sympathy for you. It had nothing to do with me; I disappeared from the discussion, erased myself from the world just to listen to you and give your story the full respect it deserves. Then, we changed the subject, and I remember the atmosphere became lighter. I couldn't tell you what we talked about at that moment as I've been thinking since yesterday.
You paid for our lattes and walked me to my bike. I'm certain I saw fear cross your face when I told you which street I had parked my bike on. I sensed—without really knowing, though it had crossed my mind—that I had parked it near your home, and I understood your fear. I tried to imagine what went through your mind at that moment, and this is what stuck with me: I was almost at your place, almost at your door, and it wasn't planned, and this "coincidence" reminded you of your fears and your anxiety of living under a grip, of losing control of your privacy. However, this fear seemed to disappear as quickly as it had arrived, and I decided not to think about it anymore. When we reached my bike, I decided to trust my instinct to find the courage to say the words stuck in my heart; I didn't yet know if I would simply propose to see you again or add that I wanted to kiss you. I liked you a lot. A lot. I think I still do.
You spoke first: "I think I'm not ready to see someone yet." I responded almost automatically that I completely understood given your situation. I don't think this automatic response showed a lack of sincerity, on the contrary. You weren't ready, and that seemed so overwhelmingly logical that I could only surrender to the obviousness of it. You added that you were sorry for wasting my time, and I replied that the time spent with you hadn't been wasted. We said goodbye. I had accepted your no.
Yet, as I watched you leave, I wondered first if I should send you a message, then what kind of message to send, and finally how to make you believe that I was also closing the door to all possibilities while subtly, secretly, leaving the door slightly open for another meeting, maybe even a relationship. I wanted to turn your no into a yes, or at worst, into a maybe. Even as this reasoning was forming, I passively observed the perversity and malice spreading throughout my psyche. I saw an obsession with you taking root, and I couldn't shake it off. On my bike, I cursed myself for having this reflex thought, and I was terrified, devastated to see it persist as I imagined the message I shouldn't send you; as it became more precise, more twisted, more manipulative with each pedal stroke, I saw myself as a gambler who had to choose each word meticulously to maximize his chances of winning. Very quickly, I identified with your stalker despite myself, and for that, I hated myself. I hated myself for despising him while sharing the object of his obsession. It was also incomprehensible that I didn't even bother or feel the need to rationalize my reasoning or excuse any sense of shame. I was like that, and there was nothing I could do about it.
Once home, I mechanically started working, and within a few minutes, my draft had taken its final form, and without thinking twice, I sent you a text message:
5:10 PM "Hey, D. I apologize in advance if this message sounds like I'm trying to get my foot in the door—I can understand that it might be the last thing you need—but that's not the case. I just wanted to reiterate that I really enjoyed our two little outings together and that I would hate for you to think that you wasted my time. You're a great girl, very brave—I sincerely mean that—and you deserve all the time you need to consider a relationship of any kind with someone. I'm not expecting any particular response from you and I wish you the best."
Rewriting and rereading this message disgusts me, obviously. The truth and lies are so well intertwined that I could almost be proud of it. The first sentence perfectly illustrates the ambivalence of the whole text: on one hand, I want to get my foot in the door, but I absolutely want to assure you otherwise, and on the other, I know that acting this way will bring nothing good, especially for you, but I do it anyway. The last sentence is also superbly ambiguous: I want you to believe that my message stands alone, but in reality, I hope you'll reply. This ambiguity actually reveals one thing: I'm clinging to the completely crazy hope that I can manage to seduce you by showing that I respect your rejection.
You replied:
5:35 PM "Hey R., thank you very much for your message and your kindness. I also had a good time during these two outings. I thought I could do it, but it's still too early for me! I wish you the best too."
Winning bet. I hate myself for succeeding in cloaking my intentions in kindness and benevolence and for my lie triumphing. Deep down, I know I would have suffered if you hadn't responded and that this absence of response would have fed my obsession. But in a way, my message protected me. As long as you didn't respond and I didn't fail by breaking my promise and sending you another message, I preserved this illusion of benevolence.
By responding, it's as if you offered yourself to my obsession, validated it unknowingly, and gave me permission to break the promise I made to you.
That's when I got scared and decided I had to talk to someone, as if I needed to confess—or be exorcised—and I thought that, in any case, I could free myself from this weight that was suffocating and blinding me. I joined U. and warned him that I needed to talk to him about you. Sitting on the terrace at the Relais, I told him as best I could about your story and the sincere empathy I had felt. I continued by explaining the disgust I had felt towards my behavior. U. nodded and understood and found the words to reassure me. He got up and went up inside at the counter of the bar to order us some drinks, leaving me alone at our table on Rue de Belleville.
I was left to my thoughts when I saw you arriving on the opposite sidewalk at the corner of Rue Rampal. I couldn't help but first believe that I had manifested your presence by projecting your features onto a stranger's face, as if my subconscious wanted to demonstrate the quasi-psychedelic power of my obsession. As I realized it was indeed you, a wave of anxiety overwhelmed me. I don't know if you saw me, I think you did. I immediately thought of your perspective; you couldn't help but notice the curious appearance of the boy you had confided your stalker story to just a few hours earlier. In an instant, I resumed the role that had traumatized you, and in taking it up despite myself, my questions were confirmed, and a sordid prophecy was being fulfilled before my eyes. I felt as if chance had crossed the red line for me and that I could only be what I dreaded becoming. I stared at you, trying to mentally convey my confusion and distress, as to make you understand that this absolutely was just an unfortunate coincidence.
U. returned as you were crossing the street, and I commented on the scene to him. "Sometimes life really messes with us," he said.

Throw back to 2020. My husband at the time 22M and I 21F had just gotten engaged, graduated college, and began searching for houses. At the time, we were living with my parents. A little back story, back in college 2017 we had just bought a dog and were living in an apartment when we found it had mold. I was sick from it. My parents told me that my dog would die from it if we didn't leave and insisted we move in with them and commute 30 minutes to college. To which I agreed. I am their only child btw. I had a rough upbringing. I thought I was just rebellious but am realizing now they are control freaks. My dad told me when I was 16 that he put a gun to his head outside and almost pulled the trigger and it would have been my fault. My mom called me fat multiple times, forced me into pageants i didn't want to do. she saw my bf kissing me once and wouldn't talk to me for 3 months, couldn't even be in the same room as me or look at me without crying. Oh and she kept saying it's just my first wedding every chance she got. They both told me that being a labor and delivery RN is gay and that I would be a terrible nurse, but I have proved them wrong. There is much more in between all of this but here's some.
My husband and I were searching for houses, we were going to buy one when we told my parents we'd be moving out. They begged us to stay, said we could transform the garage into a living space and they would move out there. They said they would sign the house over to us. My husband was fond of the idea since he didn't want to live in a neighborhood and my parents have 10 acres. I was not fond of it, but knew we would save money in the long run. So we got a contractor and cashed out my husbands inheritance from his deceased father (he died when my husband was 18). I used all of my savings to help pay. It amounted to about 100k after everything.
As soon as we paid, my parents demeanor changed. They became rude and insensitive, saying all sorts of horrendous things. They began heavy drinking mid 2020 because my Grandma died and their life was over. Come to find out, they wouldn't have been able to afford living here if we hadn't taken over. My dad has health problems, but my mom has been perfectly healthy just refuses to work and has had excuses why she hasn't worked for years.
The drinking got worse, my dad called me a bitch for not wanting to pay $7k for painters. I told them we would paint it ourselves. It wasn't good enough for them. They have caused fights about us throwing out a paint can, screaming "one hundred dollars isn't a lot to you but it is to us" and proceeded to say they "don't know how its going to work here" and that they might just take us off everything.
Flash forward to today I'm currently pregnant with our first two children, we are here and they haven't signed the house over. They claim they are trying to merge the property from my Grandma to their house then they will sign it over. We put an additional 50k into much needed upkeep that they fell short on for 30 years. Everyone of my dad's sisters hates him because they feel they were treated unfairly when his mother died. All of my mom's siblings hate her because she convinced my grandma to write her brother out of the property inheritance so he only got his father's side of it. So everyone in the family hates them, but they still sit there and act like saints because they helped take care of both of my grandma's in their end of life.
We have had many fights over the dumbest shit. I could go into so many details but we would run out of space. They have made claims that we're taking advantage of them, how they've sacrificed so much and we haven't done anything for them. They blew their top over a paint can saying "100 dollars isn't much to you but it is to us!" They have threatened to not add us on the house and have said multiple times this isn't going to work. Even better my dad and mom refused to stop smoking and drinking around my babies because "it doesn't affect them". I used to visit every day before I got pregnant and was super sick. But now I visit once a week. But that seems to not be good enough.
It was my baby shower today. Keep in mind, my mom didn't throw me a bridal shower and claimed she was too busy with the renovation even though my husband and I were handling everything. She didn't offer to throw me a baby shower either. My husbands Grandma and my friend did.
Last night I texted my Mom saying that we would be leaving at 9. I figured we would be riding together since we live together and she is going to be a Grandma. Well, my mom ignored me and had my father text me. He told me that she won't be riding with me and she will be riding with a cousin. I told him I think that looks poor given she is the Grandma and shouldn't be arriving with other guests. He texted me saying my husband told him that we can't give my mom a ride. I know this is not true.
What happened was that my husband took the dogs out and at the time had a lot on his mind from work. My dad said my Mom will need a ride to the shower. My Mom insisted she didn't and would drive herself (their car is old and breaking which they have also insinuated that we should be buying them a car). My husband said that either way works and just let us know. Continuing, my father told me that he doesn't want to leave anything to us because of this. And I left it at that.
In the morning, my Mom texted saying she wants to ride with us which we agreed. She never apologized for the behavior or anything, just pretended like nothing was wrong.
My shower was less than ok. My entire family breezed past me, barely asked about my pregnancy or the babies and talked to my Mom. I sat in the corner with my friend and husbands Grandma while my Mom entertained all of them. She excluded my husbands Grandma from the main dining table and spent an hour talking about how hard her life is with my Dad and his health problems. "Nobody knows what I go through" she says.
The shower basically felt like a show for her. My cousin said "I heard you and (my Dad) built a tiny house. That must have been expensive." My mom says "yeah we did!" I walked over and said that MY husband and I paid for it. it was asked why my husband and I aren't living in a one bedroom house or if we will build a new one. I told them it wasn't our idea and we spent our entire savings on it so we have no money left to build a house.
My mom didn't sit by me or take one picture with me prior to this or after.
After the shower, everyone left and I said to my mom that I wasn't aware everyone was under the impression that they paid for everything. She screamed to of her lungs "YOU can't KEEP DOING THIS TO ME!" My husbands Grandpa definitely heard. So do you think she's in the right and has scarified more than I have?
I am getting tired of the threats and becoming more concerned that they will try to evict us even though we pay the gas, electric, wifi, and television bills. With these babies coming soon, I don't know what to do. It would bankrupt us leaving without our money back and buying a new house. Am I ungrateful and in the wrong?

Throw back to 2020. My husband at the time 22M and I 21F had just gotten engaged, graduated college, and began searching for houses. At the time, we were living with my parents. A little back story, back in college 2017 we had just bought a dog and were living in an apartment when we found it had mold. I was sick from it. My parents told me that my dog would die from it if we didn't leave and insisted we move in with them and commute 30 minutes to college. To which I agreed. I am their only child btw. I had a rough upbringing. I thought I was just rebellious but am realizing now they are control freaks. My dad told me when I was 16 that he put a gun to his head outside and almost pulled the trigger and it would have been my fault. My mom called me fat multiple times, forced me into pageants i didn't want to do. she saw my bf kissing me once and wouldn't talk to me for 3 months, couldn't even be in the same room as me or look at me without crying. Oh and she kept saying it's just my first wedding every chance she got. They both told me that being a labor and delivery RN is gay and that I would be a terrible nurse, but I have proved them wrong. There is much more in between all of this but here's some.
My husband and I were searching for houses, we were going to buy one when we told my parents we'd be moving out. They begged us to stay, said we could transform the garage into a living space and they would move out there. They said they would sign the house over to us. My husband was fond of the idea since he didn't want to live in a neighborhood and my parents have 10 acres. I was not fond of it, but knew we would save money in the long run. So we got a contractor and cashed out my husbands inheritance from his deceased father (he died when my husband was 18). I used all of my savings to help pay. It amounted to about 100k after everything.
As soon as we paid, my parents demeanor changed. They became rude and insensitive, saying all sorts of horrendous things. They began heavy drinking mid 2020 because my Grandma died and their life was over. Come to find out, they wouldn't have been able to afford living here if we hadn't taken over. My dad has health problems, but my mom has been perfectly healthy just refuses to work and has had excuses why she hasn't worked for years.
The drinking got worse, my dad called me a bitch for not wanting to pay $7k for painters. I told them we would paint it ourselves. It wasn't good enough for them. They have caused fights about us throwing out a paint can, screaming "one hundred dollars isn't a lot to you but it is to us" and proceeded to say they "don't know how its going to work here" and that they might just take us off everything.
Flash forward to today I'm currently pregnant with our first two children, we are here and they haven't signed the house over. They claim they are trying to merge the property from my Grandma to their house then they will sign it over. We put an additional 50k into much needed upkeep that they fell short on for 30 years. Everyone of my dad's sisters hates him because they feel they were treated unfairly when his mother died. All of my mom's siblings hate her because she convinced my grandma to write her brother out of the property inheritance so he only got his father's side of it. So everyone in the family hates them, but they still sit there and act like saints because they helped take care of both of my grandma's in their end of life.
We have had many fights over the dumbest shit. I could go into so many details but we would run out of space. They have made claims that we're taking advantage of them, how they've sacrificed so much and we haven't done anything for them. They blew their top over a paint can saying "100 dollars isn't much to you but it is to us!" They have threatened to not add us on the house and have said multiple times this isn't going to work. Even better my dad and mom refused to stop smoking and drinking around my babies because "it doesn't affect them". I used to visit every day before I got pregnant and was super sick. But now I visit once a week. But that seems to not be good enough.
It was my baby shower today. Keep in mind, my mom didn't throw me a bridal shower and claimed she was too busy with the renovation even though my husband and I were handling everything. She didn't offer to throw me a baby shower either. My husbands Grandma and my friend did.
Last night I texted my Mom saying that we would be leaving at 9. I figured we would be riding together since we live together and she is going to be a Grandma. Well, my mom ignored me and had my father text me. He told me that she won't be riding with me and she will be riding with a cousin. I told him I think that looks poor given she is the Grandma and shouldn't be arriving with other guests. He texted me saying my husband told him that we can't give my mom a ride. I know this is not true.
What happened was that my husband took the dogs out and at the time had a lot on his mind from work. My dad said my Mom will need a ride to the shower. My Mom insisted she didn't and would drive herself (their car is old and breaking which they have also insinuated that we should be buying them a car). My husband said that either way works and just let us know. Continuing, my father told me that he doesn't want to leave anything to us because of this. And I left it at that.
In the morning, my Mom texted saying she wants to ride with us which we agreed. She never apologized for the behavior or anything, just pretended like nothing was wrong.
My shower was less than ok. My entire family breezed past me, barely asked about my pregnancy or the babies and talked to my Mom. I sat in the corner with my friend and husbands Grandma while my Mom entertained all of them. She excluded my husbands Grandma from the main dining table and spent an hour talking about how hard her life is with my Dad and his health problems. "Nobody knows what I go through" she says.
The shower basically felt like a show for her. My cousin said "I heard you and (my Dad) built a tiny house. That must have been expensive." My mom says "yeah we did!" I walked over and said that MY husband and I paid for it. it was asked why my husband and I aren't living in a one bedroom house or if we will build a new one. I told them it wasn't our idea and we spent our entire savings on it so we have no money left to build a house.
My mom didn't sit by me or take one picture with me prior to this or after.
After the shower, everyone left and I said to my mom that I wasn't aware everyone was under the impression that they paid for everything. She screamed to of her lungs "YOU can't KEEP DOING THIS TO ME!" My husbands Grandpa definitely heard. So do you think she's in the right and has scarified more than I have?
I am getting tired of the threats and becoming more concerned that they will try to evict us even though we pay the gas, electric, wifi, and television bills. With these babies coming soon, I don't know what to do. It would bankrupt us leaving without our money back and buying a new house. Am I ungrateful and in the wrong?

Throw back to 2020. My husband at the time 22M and I 21F had just gotten engaged, graduated college, and began searching for houses. At the time, we were living with my parents. A little back story, back in college 2017 we had just bought a dog and were living in an apartment when we found it had mold. I was sick from it. My parents told me that my dog would die from it if we didn't leave and insisted we move in with them and commute 30 minutes to college. To which I agreed. I am their only child btw. I had a rough upbringing. I thought I was just rebellious but am realizing now they are control freaks. My dad told me when I was 16 that he put a gun to his head outside and almost pulled the trigger and it would have been my fault. My mom called me fat multiple times, forced me into pageants i didn't want to do. she saw my bf kissing me once and wouldn't talk to me for 3 months, couldn't even be in the same room as me or look at me without crying. Oh and she kept saying it's just my first wedding every chance she got. They both told me that being a labor and delivery RN is gay and that I would be a terrible nurse, but I have proved them wrong. There is much more in between all of this but here's some.
My husband and I were searching for houses, we were going to buy one when we told my parents we'd be moving out. They begged us to stay, said we could transform the garage into a living space and they would move out there. They said they would sign the house over to us. My husband was fond of the idea since he didn't want to live in a neighborhood and my parents have 10 acres. I was not fond of it, but knew we would save money in the long run. So we got a contractor and cashed out my husbands inheritance from his deceased father (he died when my husband was 18). I used all of my savings to help pay. It amounted to about 100k after everything.
As soon as we paid, my parents demeanor changed. They became rude and insensitive, saying all sorts of horrendous things. They began heavy drinking mid 2020 because my Grandma died and their life was over. Come to find out, they wouldn't have been able to afford living here if we hadn't taken over. My dad has health problems, but my mom has been perfectly healthy just refuses to work and has had excuses why she hasn't worked for years.
The drinking got worse, my dad called me a bitch for not wanting to pay $7k for painters. I told them we would paint it ourselves. It wasn't good enough for them. They have caused fights about us throwing out a paint can, screaming "one hundred dollars isn't a lot to you but it is to us" and proceeded to say they "don't know how its going to work here" and that they might just take us off everything.
Flash forward to today I'm currently pregnant with our first two children, we are here and they haven't signed the house over. They claim they are trying to merge the property from my Grandma to their house then they will sign it over. We put an additional 50k into much needed upkeep that they fell short on for 30 years. Everyone of my dad's sisters hates him because they feel they were treated unfairly when his mother died. All of my mom's siblings hate her because she convinced my grandma to write her brother out of the property inheritance so he only got his father's side of it. So everyone in the family hates them, but they still sit there and act like saints because they helped take care of both of my grandma's in their end of life.
We have had many fights over the dumbest shit. I could go into so many details but we would run out of space. They have made claims that we're taking advantage of them, how they've sacrificed so much and we haven't done anything for them. They blew their top over a paint can saying "100 dollars isn't much to you but it is to us!" They have threatened to not add us on the house and have said multiple times this isn't going to work. Even better my dad and mom refused to stop smoking and drinking around my babies because "it doesn't affect them". I used to visit every day before I got pregnant and was super sick. But now I visit once a week. But that seems to not be good enough.
It was my baby shower today. Keep in mind, my mom didn't throw me a bridal shower and claimed she was too busy with the renovation even though my husband and I were handling everything. She didn't offer to throw me a baby shower either. My husbands Grandma and my friend did.
Last night I texted my Mom saying that we would be leaving at 9. I figured we would be riding together since we live together and she is going to be a Grandma. Well, my mom ignored me and had my father text me. He told me that she won't be riding with me and she will be riding with a cousin. I told him I think that looks poor given she is the Grandma and shouldn't be arriving with other guests. He texted me saying my husband told him that we can't give my mom a ride. I know this is not true.
What happened was that my husband took the dogs out and at the time had a lot on his mind from work. My dad said my Mom will need a ride to the shower. My Mom insisted she didn't and would drive herself (their car is old and breaking which they have also insinuated that we should be buying them a car). My husband said that either way works and just let us know. Continuing, my father told me that he doesn't want to leave anything to us because of this. And I left it at that.
In the morning, my Mom texted saying she wants to ride with us which we agreed. She never apologized for the behavior or anything, just pretended like nothing was wrong.
My shower was less than ok. My entire family breezed past me, barely asked about my pregnancy or the babies and talked to my Mom. I sat in the corner with my friend and husbands Grandma while my Mom entertained all of them. She excluded my husbands Grandma from the main dining table and spent an hour talking about how hard her life is with my Dad and his health problems. "Nobody knows what I go through" she says.
The shower basically felt like a show for her. My cousin said "I heard you and (my Dad) built a tiny house. That must have been expensive." My mom says "yeah we did!" I walked over and said that MY husband and I paid for it. it was asked why my husband and I aren't living in a one bedroom house or if we will build a new one. I told them it wasn't our idea and we spent our entire savings on it so we have no money left to build a house.
My mom didn't sit by me or take one picture with me prior to this or after.
After the shower, everyone left and I said to my mom that I wasn't aware everyone was under the impression that they paid for everything. She screamed to of her lungs "YOU can't KEEP DOING THIS TO ME!" My husbands Grandpa definitely heard. So do you think she's in the right and has scarified more than I have?
I am getting tired of the threats and becoming more concerned that they will try to evict us even though we pay the gas, electric, wifi, and television bills. With these babies coming soon, I don't know what to do. It would bankrupt us leaving without our money back and buying a new house. Am I ungrateful and in the wrong?

Hi guys,
Just wanted to hop on here and share my timeline for my Schengen visa application in case it helps to alleviate any worries or fears anyone might have (when I tell you I've been stressed out of my mind for the past month!).

• 27th April - Booked appointment on BLS Spain Manchester website for a travel date of 24th June, applied for multi-entry
• 16th May - Went to appointment, did biometrics and photo, received SMS later that evening
• 6th June - Received SMS notifying passport has been dispatched from consulate via courier
• 7th June - Passport returned with multi-entry visa valid for 4 months starting from 24th June (22 days incl. weekends between appointment and receiving visa)

The documents I submitted at the appointment:

• Filled-in application form
• Passport and BRP
• Pre-paid round trip flight tickets
• Hotel reservations (via booking.com, didn't need to pay anything to reserve)
• Travel insurance
• Bank statements from the past 3 months, with signed letter of confirmation from bank because my branch doesn't stamp statements
• No Objection letter from college

If I've got any advice it's try to put your mind on something else after the appointment as much as possible, and also don't book your appointment too late - try to leave at least a month before your travel date to be on the safe side because I've heard from other people who didn't get their visas on time because of delays or some other reason outside of their control.
Hopefully my experience helps to inform you a bit further on the whole process and make you a bit more comforted about your own application. I had trouble sleeping some nights because of this whole thing so I definitely needed it 😭

Apologies for the silly question. I am registering my daughter British citizenship and during the process I found this statement:

If Miss <...> told us that their parent is settled in the UK then you must provide us evidence of their settled status. This could include a BRP, a letter from the Home Office, an endorsement in their passport or another document certifying permanent residence.

I have searched online and I can't find a way to order a BRP, neither a letter from HO nor any endorsement (???). I always used a shared code to prove my status and I guess in this case it would not be accepted. I am probably missing something important. What does it mean "document certifying permanent residence"? It seems a bit vague. Would the bills from my energy provider be accepted?

Throw back to 2020. My husband at the time 22M and I 21F had just gotten engaged, graduated college, and began searching for houses. At the time, we were living with my parents. A little back story, back in college we had just bought a dog and were living in an apartment when we found it had mold. I was sick from it. My parents told me that my dog would die from it if we didn't leave and insisted we move in with them and commute 30 minutes to college. To which I agreed. I am their only child btw. I had a rough upbringing. I thought I was just rebellious but am realizing now they are control freaks. My dad told me when I was 16 that he put a gun to his head outside and almost pulled the trigger and it would have been my fault. My mom called me fat multiple times, forced me into pageants i didn't want to do. she saw my bf kissing me once and wouldn't talk to me for 3 months, couldn't even be in the same room as me or look at me without crying. Oh and she kept saying it's just my first wedding every chance she got. They both told me that being a labor and delivery RN is gay and that I would be a terrible nurse, but I have proved them wrong. There is much more in between all of this but here's some.
My husband and I were searching for houses, we were going to buy one when we told my parents we'd be moving out. They begged us to stay, said we could transform the garage into a living space and they would move out there. They said they would sign the house over to us. My husband was fond of the idea since he didn't want to live in a neighborhood and my parents have 10 acres. I was not fond of it, but knew we would save money in the long run. So we got a contractor and cashed out my husbands inheritance from his deceased father (he died when my husband was 18). I used all of my savings to help pay. It amounted to about 100k after everything.
As soon as we paid, my parents demeanor changed. They became rude and insensitive, saying all sorts of horrendous things. They began heavy drinking mid 2020 because my Grandma died and their life was over.
The drinking got worse, my dad called me a bitch for not wanting to pay $7k for painters. I told them we would paint it ourselves. It wasn't good enough for them. They have caused fights about us throwing out a paint can, screaming "one hundred dollars isn't a lot to you but it is to us" and proceeded to say they "don't know how its going to work here" and that they might just take us off everything.
Flash forward to many stupid fights later, we are here and they haven't signed the house over. They claim they are trying to merge the property from my Grandma to their house then they will sign it over. We put an additional 50k into much needed upkeep that they fell short on for 30 years. I'm currently pregnant with our first two children.
We have had many fights over the dumbest shit. I could go into so many details but we would run out of space. They have made claims that we're taking advantage of them, how they've sacrificed so much and we haven't done anything for them. They blew their top over a paint can saying "100 dollars isn't much to you but it is to us!" They have threatened to not add us on the house and have said multiple times this isn't going to work. Even better my dad and mom refused to stop smoking and drinking around my babies because "it doesn't affect them". I used to visit every day before I got pregnant and was super sick. But now I visit once a week. But that seems to not be good enough.
It was my baby shower today. Keep in mind, my mom didn't throw me a bridal shower and claimed she was too busy with the renovation even though my husband and I were handling everything. She didn't offer to throw me a baby shower either. My husbands Grandma and my friend did.
Last night I texted my Mom saying that we would be leaving at 9. I figured we would be riding together since we live together and she is going to be a Grandma. Well, my mom ignored me and had my father text me. He told me that she won't be riding with me and she will be riding with a cousin. I told him I think that looks poor given she is the Grandma and shouldn't be arriving with other guests. He texted me saying my husband told him that we can't give my mom a ride. I know this is not true.
What happened was that my husband took the dogs out and at the time had a lot on his mind from work. My dad said my Mom will need a ride to the shower. My Mom insisted she didn't and would drive herself (their car is old and breaking which they have also insinuated that we should be buying them a car). My husband said that either way works and just let us know. Continuing, my father told me that he doesn't want to leave anything to us because of this. And I left it at that.
In the morning, my Mom texted saying she wants to ride with us which we agreed. She never apologized for the behavior or anything, just pretended like nothing was wrong.
My shower was less than ok. My entire family breezed past me, barely asked about my pregnancy or the babies and talked to my Mom. I sat in the corner with my friend and husbands Grandma while my Mom entertained all of them. She excluded my husbands Grandma from the main dining table and spent an hour talking about how hard her life is with my Dad and his health problems. "Nobody knows what I go through" she says.
The shower basically felt like a show for her. My cousin said "I heard you and (my Dad) built a tiny house. That must have been expensive." My mom says "yeah we did!" I walked over and said that MY husband and I paid for it. it was asked why my husband and I aren't living in a one bedroom house or if we will build a new one. I told them it wasn't our idea and we spent our entire savings on it so we have no money left to build a house.
My mom didn't sit by me or take one picture with me prior to this or after.
After the shower, everyone left and I said to my mom that I wasn't aware everyone was under the impression that they paid for everything. She screamed to of her lungs "YOU can't KEEP DOING THIS TO ME!" My husbands Grandpa definitely heard. So do you think she's in the right and has scarified more than I have?
I am getting tired of the threats and becoming more concerned that they will try to evict us even though we pay the gas, electric, wifi, and television bills. With these babies coming soon, I don't know what to do. It would bankrupt us leaving without our money back and buying a new house. Am I ungrateful and in the wrong?

Throw back to 2020. My husband at the time 22M and I 21F had just gotten engaged, graduated college, and began searching for houses. At the time, we were living with my parents. A little back story, back in college we had just bought a dog and were living in an apartment when we found it had mold. I was sick from it. My parents told me that my dog would die from it if we didn't leave and insisted we move in with them and commute 30 minutes to college. To which I agreed. I am their only child btw. I had a rough upbringing. I thought I was just rebellious but am realizing now they are control freaks. My dad told me when I was 16 that he put a gun to his head outside and almost pulled the trigger and it would have been my fault. My mom called me fat multiple times, forced me into pageants i didn't want to do. she saw my bf kissing me once and wouldn't talk to me for 3 months, couldn't even be in the same room as me or look at me without crying. Oh and she kept saying it's just my first wedding every chance she got. They both told me that being a labor and delivery RN is gay and that I would be a terrible nurse, but I have proved them wrong. There is much more in between all of this but here's some.
My husband and I were searching for houses, we were going to buy one when we told my parents we'd be moving out. They begged us to stay, said we could transform the garage into a living space and they would move out there. They said they would sign the house over to us. My husband was fond of the idea since he didn't want to live in a neighborhood and my parents have 10 acres. I was not fond of it, but knew we would save money in the long run. So we got a contractor and cashed out my husbands inheritance from his deceased father (he died when my husband was 18). I used all of my savings to help pay. It amounted to about 100k after everything.
As soon as we paid, my parents demeanor changed. They became rude and insensitive, saying all sorts of horrendous things. They began heavy drinking mid 2020 because my Grandma died and their life was over.
The drinking got worse, my dad called me a bitch for not wanting to pay $7k for painters. I told them we would paint it ourselves. It wasn't good enough for them. They have caused fights about us throwing out a paint can, screaming "one hundred dollars isn't a lot to you but it is to us" and proceeded to say they "don't know how its going to work here" and that they might just take us off everything.
Flash forward to many stupid fights later, we are here and they haven't signed the house over. They claim they are trying to merge the property from my Grandma to their house then they will sign it over. We put an additional 50k into much needed upkeep that they fell short on for 30 years. I'm currently pregnant with our first two children.
We have had many fights over the dumbest shit. I could go into so many details but we would run out of space. They have made claims that we're taking advantage of them, how they've sacrificed so much and we haven't done anything for them. They blew their top over a paint can saying "100 dollars isn't much to you but it is to us!" They have threatened to not add us on the house and have said multiple times this isn't going to work. Even better my dad and mom refused to stop smoking and drinking around my babies because "it doesn't affect them". I used to visit every day before I got pregnant and was super sick. But now I visit once a week. But that seems to not be good enough.
It was my baby shower today. Keep in mind, my mom didn't throw me a bridal shower and claimed she was too busy with the renovation even though my husband and I were handling everything. She didn't offer to throw me a baby shower either. My husbands Grandma and my friend did.
Last night I texted my Mom saying that we would be leaving at 9. I figured we would be riding together since we live together and she is going to be a Grandma. Well, my mom ignored me and had my father text me. He told me that she won't be riding with me and she will be riding with a cousin. I told him I think that looks poor given she is the Grandma and shouldn't be arriving with other guests. He texted me saying my husband told him that we can't give my mom a ride. I know this is not true.
What happened was that my husband took the dogs out and at the time had a lot on his mind from work. My dad said my Mom will need a ride to the shower. My Mom insisted she didn't and would drive herself (their car is old and breaking which they have also insinuated that we should be buying them a car). My husband said that either way works and just let us know. Continuing, my father told me that he doesn't want to leave anything to us because of this. And I left it at that.
In the morning, my Mom texted saying she wants to ride with us which we agreed. She never apologized for the behavior or anything, just pretended like nothing was wrong.
My shower was less than ok. My entire family breezed past me, barely asked about my pregnancy or the babies and talked to my Mom. I sat in the corner with my friend and husbands Grandma while my Mom entertained all of them. She excluded my husbands Grandma from the main dining table and spent an hour talking about how hard her life is with my Dad and his health problems. "Nobody knows what I go through" she says.
The shower basically felt like a show for her. My cousin said "I heard you and (my Dad) built a tiny house. That must have been expensive." My mom says "yeah we did!" I walked over and said that MY husband and I paid for it. it was asked why my husband and I aren't living in a one bedroom house or if we will build a new one. I told them it wasn't our idea and we spent our entire savings on it so we have no money left to build a house.
My mom didn't sit by me or take one picture with me prior to this or after.
After the shower, everyone left and I said to my mom that I wasn't aware everyone was under the impression that they paid for everything. She screamed to of her lungs "YOU can't KEEP DOING THIS TO ME!" My husbands Grandpa definitely heard. So do you think she's in the right and has scarified more than I have?
I am getting tired of the threats and becoming more concerned that they will try to evict us even though we pay the gas, electric, wifi, and television bills. With these babies coming soon, I don't know what to do. It would bankrupt us leaving without our money back and buying a new house. Am I ungrateful and in the wrong?

Throw back to 2020. My husband at the time 22M and I 21F had just gotten engaged, graduated college, and began searching for houses. At the time, we were living with my parents. A little back story, back in college we had just bought a dog and were living in an apartment when we found it had mold. I was sick from it. My parents told me that my dog would die from it if we didn't leave and insisted we move in with them and commute 30 minutes to college. To which I agreed. I am their only child btw. I had a rough upbringing. I thought I was just rebellious but am realizing now they are control freaks. My dad told me when I was 16 that he put a gun to his head outside and almost pulled the trigger and it would have been my fault. My mom called me fat multiple times, forced me into pageants i didn't want to do. she saw my bf kissing me once and wouldn't talk to me for 3 months, couldn't even be in the same room as me or look at me without crying. Oh and she kept saying it's just my first wedding every chance she got. They both told me that being a labor and delivery RN is gay and that I would be a terrible nurse, but I have proved them wrong. There is much more in between all of this but here's some.
My husband and I were searching for houses, we were going to buy one when we told my parents we'd be moving out. They begged us to stay, said we could transform the garage into a living space and they would move out there. They said they would sign the house over to us. My husband was fond of the idea since he didn't want to live in a neighborhood and my parents have 10 acres. I was not fond of it, but knew we would save money in the long run. So we got a contractor and cashed out my husbands inheritance from his deceased father (he died when my husband was 18). I used all of my savings to help pay. It amounted to about 100k after everything.
As soon as we paid, my parents demeanor changed. They became rude and insensitive, saying all sorts of horrendous things. They began heavy drinking mid 2020 because my Grandma died and their life was over.
The drinking got worse, my dad called me a bitch for not wanting to pay $7k for painters. I told them we would paint it ourselves. It wasn't good enough for them. They have caused fights about us throwing out a paint can, screaming "one hundred dollars isn't a lot to you but it is to us" and proceeded to say they "don't know how its going to work here" and that they might just take us off everything.
Flash forward to many stupid fights later, we are here and they haven't signed the house over. They claim they are trying to merge the property from my Grandma to their house then they will sign it over. We put an additional 50k into much needed upkeep that they fell short on for 30 years. I'm currently pregnant with our first two children.
We have had many fights over the dumbest shit. I could go into so many details but we would run out of space. They have made claims that we're taking advantage of them, how they've sacrificed so much and we haven't done anything for them. They blew their top over a paint can saying "100 dollars isn't much to you but it is to us!" They have threatened to not add us on the house and have said multiple times this isn't going to work. Even better my dad and mom refused to stop smoking and drinking around my babies because "it doesn't affect them". I used to visit every day before I got pregnant and was super sick. But now I visit once a week. But that seems to not be good enough.
It was my baby shower today. Keep in mind, my mom didn't throw me a bridal shower and claimed she was too busy with the renovation even though my husband and I were handling everything. She didn't offer to throw me a baby shower either. My husbands Grandma and my friend did.
Last night I texted my Mom saying that we would be leaving at 9. I figured we would be riding together since we live together and she is going to be a Grandma. Well, my mom ignored me and had my father text me. He told me that she won't be riding with me and she will be riding with a cousin. I told him I think that looks poor given she is the Grandma and shouldn't be arriving with other guests. He texted me saying my husband told him that we can't give my mom a ride. I know this is not true.
What happened was that my husband took the dogs out and at the time had a lot on his mind from work. My dad said my Mom will need a ride to the shower. My Mom insisted she didn't and would drive herself (their car is old and breaking which they have also insinuated that we should be buying them a car). My husband said that either way works and just let us know. Continuing, my father told me that he doesn't want to leave anything to us because of this. And I left it at that.
In the morning, my Mom texted saying she wants to ride with us which we agreed. She never apologized for the behavior or anything, just pretended like nothing was wrong.
My shower was less than ok. My entire family breezed past me, barely asked about my pregnancy or the babies and talked to my Mom. I sat in the corner with my friend and husbands Grandma while my Mom entertained all of them. She excluded my husbands Grandma from the main dining table and spent an hour talking about how hard her life is with my Dad and his health problems. "Nobody knows what I go through" she says.
The shower basically felt like a show for her. My cousin said "I heard you and (my Dad) built a tiny house. That must have been expensive." My mom says "yeah we did!" I walked over and said that MY husband and I paid for it. it was asked why my husband and I aren't living in a one bedroom house or if we will build a new one. I told them it wasn't our idea and we spent our entire savings on it so we have no money left to build a house.
My mom didn't sit by me or take one picture with me prior to this or after.
After the shower, everyone left and I said to my mom that I wasn't aware everyone was under the impression that they paid for everything. She screamed to of her lungs "YOU can't KEEP DOING THIS TO ME!" My husbands Grandpa definitely heard. So do you think she's in the right and has scarified more than I have?
I am getting tired of the threats and becoming more concerned that they will try to evict us even though we pay the gas, electric, wifi, and television bills. With these babies coming soon, I don't know what to do. It would bankrupt us leaving without our money back and buying a new house. Am I ungrateful and in the wrong?

• I am asking this question in good faith.

Made a reddit account because I need this question answered. I need someone to write a letter for me, however, I sent them a reminder a couple weeks back about it which they didn't reply to, and I sent another reminder yesterday, which they saw, apologized about the delay, and promised to write the letter. Now, I'm wondering if this person forgets again, should I ask someone else or commit to a third reminder? Part of me feels too prideful to reminder someone three times, as it feels they don't care.
I can ask someone else, but I don't think it'd be as strong of a letter. Is it ever appropriate to even send a third reminder?

Apologies for this long winded message. Need some advice. I’m a 31year man dating a girl from work who is 39. I’m a few months into the relationship and I have sort of sobered up and want to tighten up on some things. Would love some insight from the bright minds on the internet:
I live with my brother and mom. My brother and I pay all the bills, mom buys groceries and cooks.
My girl, she has been married twice, has an 18 years old, 16 years old and 7 years old. She has two baby dads, the most recent one was kicked out 4 years ago. He still comes around to pick up his son for baseball and school activities. He texts my gf
This all started with a drunken outing with work friends where we flirted with one another. After that, I didn’t pursue it too hard as we work together and i dint want to have things get too messy. She loved my advance on her so she continued her flirting with me to get me to see it through lol and even came up to my desk and wrote her number.
Finally I gave in and I asked her out on a date. We had an amazing night out and had sex that night, i grabbed a hotel given my mom stays at home with me.
Since then we have gone out every weekend, I pay for our food, hotels and etc. To be clear, the second time we hung out, she raised the concern that about me paying for the hotels every weekend, she knows it adds up. I said it would be crazy for me to ask her out and have her pay so that was that and it never came up anymore. Whenever we go out, I pay no discussion. We went on a vacation the other day, I made her pay 30% of the booking but everything else I took care of.
We then did something for her birthday, I took her out to a nice dinner, hotel and an event the next day. What sobered me up was while we were at the event, she was showing me something on her phone, a guy who she used to be involved with DMs her something funny. She dismissed it as some guy who’s been trying to get back with her and she’s not interested. My whole mood was killed that day because it was new information to me. She dismissed it as she’s not interested in this guy at all and she’s crazy about me but I ain’t new to the game. That wasn’t really good enough for me considering if it was the other way around she would ask a 100 questions lol I decided no to ruin her bday and told her that It was bothering me but I’ll get over it since she technically didn’t do anything wrong but (I’m keeping my eye open). Don’t want to paint her as sneaky, she’s attractive, so of course dudes are looking and she spends a lot of time with me and when she’s not she’s calling me. But just that made me feel like I need to set boundaries to ensure I’m not fucking myself over, should things not work out and even if they do I want to be solid financially regardless.
So now I have been questioning what I’ve been putting in the relationship, what I have allowed. Financially, def need to tighten up. Cashflow wise I’m in the negative right now and I want to get back on track. Dates hotels and going out running me about 350-400 per week and it’s not sustainable. I’m building and I want to get her on the same page as me.
Need help leading my relationship. How would you approach this with your girl, feel free to add other things for me to consider

First ever reddit post but I’m still stuck on it even though a whole 24 hours has passed since the interaction.
Quick summary of events leading to the interaction: - Walked into work late crying (stressed morning) but tried to keep my head down to avoid people seeing but my manager was front desk and saw my face when I opened the door. - Pulled myself together and grabbed my first guest. - Went through the day down one coworker and manager overlapping guests and services despite neither me or my coworker able to keep up with it. (Even went as far as to move some people’s appointments without asking the moved guest just to make someone else’s appointment more convenient for them along with not properly checking in guests when they arrive so they’re checked in 5-7 mins late throwing our schedules behind even more.) - Finally close to break time and manager is leaving because 2nd front desk came in.
She came into my suite to tell me she was leaving for the day, asking if I was okay to which I said “Yeah. Just tired.” and she asks if I wanted a hug and I turned her down saying “No, I’m not a physical person like that.” immediately she laughs, repeats what I said mockingly, laughs while apologizing for doing that and calls me a turd? I try to laugh it off and leave the suite to the front but since she’s leaving she goes with me says something and it ends with smthn similar (but not exactly anymore because that day a blur a little) to “Well you’re doing amazing turd!” and then she leaves.
Part of me throughout the day didn’t know how to take that? I don’t have a close relationship with her at all, and I’m not sure if maybe turd to her could mean something else but to me it’s nothing but derogatory? But what I do know is I’m pissed while still slowly processing it. I planned already to quit after my vacation in July but HUH?