Although many people drinkAlthough many people drink their coffee with milk, there are various substitutes for milk in coffee that you can use in your morning cup.
Many people consider milk and coffee to be inextricably linked. It's either early in the morning or late in the afternoon.
You're groggy and need caffeine, so you gather your wits and make yourself a pot of coffee.
You make yourself a boiling hot mug of coffee and go to the fridge to get the milk carton. Only to discover that you don't have any.
Perhaps you open the carton and detect a spoiled odor or find that your roommate consumed all the milk without purchasing a new carton.
Whatever the reason, you need to find substitutes for milk in your coffee.
If you have been in such a situation before and couldn't find substitutes for dairy milk in your coffee, this article is for you. Read on.

1. Cream

Photo by tookapic on Pixabay
Heavy cream is one of the most flavorful coffee creamers available. It contains 38% fat and can significantly improve the flavor of your coffee.
After hearing that, you might wonder, "Do I want that much fat in my coffee?"
We once thought that cream's high-fat content would contribute to obesity and heart disease.
However, recent research has found that people who consume more cream have a lower risk of obesity, heart disease, and type 2 diabetes.
Heavy cream contains health-promoting vitamins and minerals such as vitamins A, D, E, and K due to its natural fat content.
Full-fat heavy whipping cream is healthier for you than low-fat alternatives like coffee creamers and whipped topping.

2. Evaporated Milk

Because whole milk has been evaporated or condensed, evaporated milk is thicker and richer than whole milk, including saturated fat.
However, evaporated milk makes a cup of coffee taste fantastic for individuals who do not drink a lot of coffee.
However, because of the amount of saturated fat in evaporated milk.
We would not advocate using it as a coffee creamer if you are a big coffee drinker who drinks many cups daily.

3. Goat Milk

The flavor and texture of goat and cow milk are remarkably similar, and You can use the two interchangeably. On the other hand, goat milk contains less lactose and is easier to digest than cow's milk.
Furthermore, Goat milk is high in calcium, magnesium, and potassium. And healthy fatty acids and can help people with high cholesterol lower their cholesterol levels.
Goat milk is quite rich, and it is one of the excellent substitutes for coffee.

4. Cashew Milk

Cashew milk is popular as a coffee creamer because of its creamy texture. It's the creamiest of the nut milk, with a delicate, sweet flavor and a very slight nut flavor. Again, Cashew milk has a somewhat thicker consistency than cow's milk.

5. Hemp Seed Milk

Hemp seed milk is a popular coffee creamer because of its high protein content and somewhat nutty flavor.
Furthermore, Hemp Seed Milk is one of the few plant-based complete proteins available. Comprising all of the essential amino acids that humans require while carrying almost the same amount of fat as cow's milk. Hemp seed milk has even higher nutrients than almond and rice milk.
Furthermore, Hemp seed milk is vegan and can be consumed by people sensitive to soy, lactose, or gluten. However, one disadvantage of using Hemp Seed Milk as coffee creamer is that some individuals dislike the taste.

6. Oat Milk

Oat milk is one of the most widely used non-dairy kinds of milk in coffee drinks. It's created from oats, water, and, in some instances, canola or rapeseed oil for emulsification. The result is rich, full-bodied non-dairy milk that rivals whole dairy milk in flavor.
Oat milk is also popular because of its high fiber content. This non-dairy milk appeals to health-conscious clients since it has a low-fat content while still providing the protein that dairy milk does. On the other hand, the addition of fiber distinguishes this non-dairy milk and makes it an excellent alternative for clients wishing to improve their digestive health. Oat Milk is one of the suitable substitutes for Milk in coffee.

7. Soy Milk

Because this type of non-dairy milk has been a popular option for many years, most coffeehouses use it in coffee. Soy milk is widely available in most places, and its comparatively low cost makes it a viable option for many enterprises.
As a result of the acidity or the hot temperature, some soy milk curdles in coffee. Without preservatives, soy milk is more likely to separate your consumers' coffee. If you suspect that the issue is one of temperature, start by pouring warm soy milk into your serving cup and gradually adding the coffee. In addition, this is one of the best substitutes for coffee.

8. Nut Milk

Nut Milk is a healthy and delicious Vegan-friendly dairy substitute since it is strong in antioxidants, omega 3 and omega 6 fatty acids, monounsaturated fat, vitamin B1, magnesium, and manganese.
A Nut Milk makes a fantastic coffee creamer and whips into a lovely foam that produces a fantastic latte or cappuccino due to its high-fat content.

9. Pea Milk

Pea milk, created from yellow pea protein extract, is high in protein but low in calories. It has a thick and creamy texture, a mild flavor, and foams beautifully, making it popular as a coffee creamer.
Furthermore, Pea Milk is gluten-free, soy-free, nut-free, dairy-free, and vegan-friendly. And low in sugar and carbs, appealing to persons on low-carb diets and diabetics.

10. Rice Milk

Because it is nut- and soy-free, rice milk is becoming more popular as a coffee creamer among coffee lovers. This makes it an excellent alternative for persons with allergies and lactose intolerance.
Rice milk is one of the most hypoallergenic milk alternatives available, and it provides a well-balanced diet.
However, while Rice Milk has the lowest fat content of all the milk alternatives and is cholesterol-free, it is heavy in starch and cannot be consumed by people with diabetes.

11. Almond Milk

In the non-dairy market, almond milk is one of the most popular nut milk. It comes in various flavors, and many companies provide both sweetened and unsweetened versions. However, almond milk does not function as well as some other non-dairy milk in coffee.
Unfortunately, almond milk, like soy milk, can curdle in coffee due to warmth and acidity. Avoid pouring cold almond milk into very hot coffee to avoid curdling. If you want to make almond milk a mainstay on your beverage menu, experiment with different types of coffee roasts and brands to see how it reacts to the acidity of your coffee. It is one of the best substitutes for milk in coffee.

12. Coffee Screamer

Coffee creamer is a dairy-free replacement for milk in the majority of circumstances.
Also, Coffee creamer is typically made out of sugar, oil, and thickener, so it may be a suitable choice if you want your coffee sweeter.
Coffee creamer is available in liquid and powder forms, with the latter being more convenient if you don't have access to a refrigerator. However, Flavors are available in both liquid and solid forms. their coffee with milk, there are various substitutes for milk in coffee that you can use in your morning cup.
Many people consider milk and coffee to be inextricably linked. It's either early in the morning or late in the afternoon.
You're groggy and need caffeine, so you gather your wits and make yourself a pot of coffee.
You make yourself a boiling hot mug of coffee and go to the fridge to get the milk carton. Only to discover that you don't have any.
Perhaps you open the carton and detect a spoiled odor or find that your roommate consumed all the milk without purchasing a new carton.
Whatever the reason, you need to find substitutes for milk in your coffee.
If you have been in such a situation before and couldn't find substitutes for dairy milk in your coffee, this article is for you. Read on.

1. Cream

PayPal goods/services. $5.00 shipping. Scents are kept in a dark closet. I reuse packaging and I mainly ship on the weekends, but it may go out earlier. I normally enclose an extra as well. RIS = received in swap. Direct = obtained directly from brand. Minimum $8
Bath/body (shipping will be $6)
Pretties For your Face - Cashmere Petals 2oz body mist, direct A complex blend of white grapefruit, soft bergamot, frosted pearl, French periwinkle, winter amaryllis, tea rose, cashmere shea, warm cedar, and amber musk. Tried once, $4
Miscellaneous bath/body
Goose Creek - Warm Sugar Donut lotion 8.4 oz Enjoy the sweet and savory aroma of a warm, Sugared donut. Notes - Cinnamon Sugar, Fries Dough, Vanilla Bean, Sugar. Used once, reducer cap on bottle so no direct contact with product, $3
Full sizes
BPAL Supposed to be a Pretzel 5ml Oil "… but also kinda smells like popcorn?" RIS, tried once, $16 (This was actually more of a salty floral, slightly aquatic scent to me)
Black Baccara (now Amorphous) - Pumpkin Cake 15ml edp Pumpkin cake, vanilla frosting, and caramel brûlée drizzle. RIS, slight dip, $30. (Shipping will be $6)
Epically Epic - Strawberry Grapefruit 7ml oil roller Notes as titled. RIS, a little over 3/4 full. $9
Fable and Cannon - Siren Sorbet 30ml edt (10-15% concentration), direct When the sirens wake up feeling froggy, they use this delicious sorbet to lure sailors to the depths instead... sweet tropical fruit nectar, tart berries, saltwater, and cool ozone. Tried twice, $17. (Shipping will be $6)
Hexennacht - Funhouse dram from Ajevie Weathered ipe boardwalk planks, rice krispy squares, honey-drizzled ice cream in waffle cones, kettle corn, funnel cakes, donut holes, cardamom, coconut, incense. RIS, tried once, $7
Laurel and June - Christmas Cheer 5ml edp spray, direct Honey almond, vanilla, pine needles, cinnamon, clove, nutmeg, cranberries. Tried once, $8.50
Nui Cobalt - The Bees' Carnival 5ml oil roller Like Ferris wheel lights against a twilight sky, it’s a playful arrangement of vivid notes to tickle your fancy. Cotton candy spun from crystallized honey, fresh leaves of lemon verbena, blue raspberry drizzle, and a grounding smolder of sweet myrrh. Wear to encourage frivolity, relieve tension, and restore your sense of humor. Fill slightly below top of label, has Nui Cobalt rollerball top, $15
Pulp Fragrance - Bedsheet Ghost 4.5ml oil roller, direct via Ajevie Crisp freshly-ironed white sheets & a pumpkin pail full of Halloween candy, over a haunted honey musk base. Tried twice, $18
Sixteen92 -Party at the Moon Tower 6ml oil White cupcakes with popping candy frosting, spiked punch, faded sunscreen, lake breeze, a distant Summer bonfire. RIS, slight dip, fill still above label, $14
Stereoplasm - Ballroom Cat 3.4 ml oil roller, direct Hot pink organza, French 75, fuchsia, grapefruit, designer leather. Tried once, $10 (I put a home made small label on the front of the bottle with the name, due to the new bottles missing the names)
Stereoplasm - Crinoline 5.5ml oil roller, direct Linen extrait de parfum, ash lye, blue lace macaron,.white tea, hazelnut truffle, peppermint, almond petit fours. Tried once, $15 (I put a home made small label on the front of the bottle with the name, due to the new bottles missing the names)
Sugar and Spite - Funeral Biscuits 3.7ml dram Butter cookies dotted with mint, and dipped in sweet cream. RIS, tried once, $5
Samples - will be tried once, unless otherwise noted
Fae-Tal Attraction Perfumery - Marshmallow Snow 2ml oil sample, direct Strawberries and snowflakes made of marshmallow fluff, treading softly through the woods, this is a sweet treat for the senses that, like Goldilocks' favorite, is juuuuust right. It's deep, velvety and lush, and perfect for any weather. Fir Balsam Absolute, Marshmallow, Amyris Wood, and Ylang Ylang. Tried once, $5.
Fantome - Kuidaore 1.5ml edp sample Fried pastry dough, fluffy vanilla cream filling, a dusting of matcha powder. RIS, tried once, $6
Laurel and June - Winter Woods 2ml edp spray sample, direct Soft spruce, myrrh, frankincense, winter berries. Never tried, $3
Lovesick Witchery - Star Girl 2ml glass vial with spray cap sample Notes of milk, creamy vanilla, rice pudding, marshmallow fluff, sugar, amber, and white musk. Tried once, $4.
Lovesick Witchery - Pink Lipstick 2ml glass vial with spray cap sample Notes of orange cream pops, sugar, vanilla bean, heliotrope, oats, pink velvet, whipped tonka, gilded amber, and fluffy pink musk. Tried once, $4
Stereoplasm - Clean Weather Girl 1.3 ml oil roller, direct Vanilla, coconut, bergamot, Sicilian lemon, orange blossom. Tried once, $5 (I put a home made small label on the front of the bottle with the name, due to the new bottles missing the names)
Stereoplasm new (never tried) 0.5ml doll samples - $3 each, or can do all 3 for $8)
In Pace in Fiora - Bougainvillea, wisteria covered stone walls, green leaves, blossoming black locust tree, sun-baked sampietrini, orange blossom honey, a cotton dress.
Hyacinthian - Dry blackberry, dirty black leather, incense, old stone, stone salt, ylang ylang
Wilde - Sugared black plums, scorching brandy, clove, a dollop of spiced vanilla cream, spilled ink, sharp wit, lingering cologne.

Shipping is $5.50 flat, no minimum purchase! Payment through PayPal G&S
Will ship Tuesday! Multiples of most decants are available.

Decants

Arcana Wildcraft - Slink size decants; $4.50 each, or 5 for $20

• Clara - Vanilla-infused sugar cookies and tea with tiny hints of banana, apricot, and lavender.
• Eir - A sheer veil of gentle Roman chamomile tea, wild lavender buds, vanilla bean, warm flannel, ivory patchouli, and fresh coconut milk infused with petals of tuberose and magnolia.*
• Electra - Pink carnation petal ice cream, Mexican bakery vanilla, eggnog, sweet cinnamon, and nutmeg.
• Fionnar - Vanilla crème pâtissière, plump vanilla beans, French vanilla, Mexican vanilla, Madagascan vanilla, Tahitian vanilla, cool white musk and a dash of sheer Clearwood.
• Fluffing the Bunny - Madagascar vanilla, Tahitian vanilla, apricot, white musk, skin musk, and a tiny tickle of mint.
• Isolde - White chocolate, pale almond milk, delicate vanilla, cream, and a touch of sheer musk.
• Lady Lamb - Rich yellow gateau, strawberries, dark clove, vanilla, champagne, and a mad little dash of mint.
• Love - A breathtaking vanilla accord is accompanied by fresh cream, sugarcane, soft musk, and a pinch of tea leaves.
• Miss Skiffins - A felicitous and seemly blend of blueberries, blackberries, vanilla, sweet mallow, clean musk, sweet pea blossoms, and a small chunk of honeycomb.
• Muse - Delicate, crisp lemon cookies, tart yuzu, velvet blankets, wild-harvested fir tips, warm stones in an ancient forest, sweet coconut water, and wild juniper.
• Queen Mab - Intoxicating orange blossoms with marshmallow pillows, narcotic petitgrain, creamy coconut milk, wild harvested bitter orange, Tahitian vanilla, and feathery ylang ylang petals.
• Sting - Amber resin, sticky beeswax, massoia, black coconut, and cubeb.
• Sugar - French vanilla ice cream, sweet cardamom, a tincture of Pacific sea salt, dark Tahitian vanilla, and wild harvested pine sap.

Arcana Craves & Layering Notes - Slink size decants; $4 each, or 5 for $17

• Buttercream LN
• Peaches Crave Beaches - Green bamboo, coconut, vanilla musk, citron, lemongrass, bergamot, and dewy peach flesh
• Pistachio Gelato LN
• Strawberries Crave Ice Cream - Pink strawberries are crushed with Mexican vanilla beans and blended into vegan accords of fresh milk, sugar, and cream.
• Vanilla Craves Crescent Moons - A silken lunar blend to honor our mother, the moon. Blushing pink cherry blossoms are lightly infused into cold milk with the softest, fluffiest Mexican vanilla, caramelized tonka bean, cane sugar, and a bit of sweet hay.
• Vanilla Craves Ghost Fish - Cool, pale, creamy vanilla is infused with dried plums, golden raisins, and preserved lemons, then softened with sweet coconut milk, a light praline accord, and a cascade of alabaster silk.
• Vanilla Craves Sugar Cookies - Vanilla Craves Sugar Cookies: Warm sugar cookies are infused with three gourmand vanillas and a hint of vanilla musk.

Solstice Scents - EDP Glass sprayer decants: 3ml $8, 5ml $12

• Foxcroft Fairgrounds - Cotton Candy, Cream Soda, Vanilla Taffy, Funnel Cakes, Powdered Sugar, Crisp Fall Air, Woodsmoke, Incense.
• Rose Mallow Cream - Moroccan Rose absolute, Bulgarian Rose absolute, Marshmallow Fluff, Strawberry Nectar, White Chocolate, Vanilla, White Musk.
• Violet Mallow - Marshmallow Cream, Violet Flowers, Vanilla Bean, White Musk.

This is a long post, so feel free to scroll down to the bulleted list at the end for questions I have if you don't feel like reading. I have bolded important info to allow for easy scanning. I could use any advice or experience you have, so please leave a comment if you have anything that you think could be helpful. I'm making this long post in part to aid anyone in the future who may benefit from my own experience so far.
About me: I am 29, male, HIV+ and undetectable for 8 years. I was having some trouble with putting on muscle when attempting weightlifting programs, and have suspected hormonal issues for several years because of this. My health hasn't been ideal for a long time, and I would get sick extremely often with strep throat, sometimes as much as six times a year. I have a family history of endocrine-related cancers, three of which were in male cousins in their 20s. I am the sixth. None of us know if there is a genetic cause that underlies our cancers, but it has been a strong suspicion of mine since these began popping up in the family.
Current medications: Biktarvy (an HAART), Zyrtec (for allergies). I was previously taking Claritin in addition to Zyrtec due to suspicions of long covid after visiting a long covid clinic with my symptoms, but I stopped in January 2024. At this point I believe it probably was not long covid. I was placed on Ferrous Sulfate after finding mild anemia a few months ago, but I do not take it daily, instead roughly every three days.
Supplements: I have experimented extensively with supplements to help aid with building muscle- never steroids, because I understood my cancer risk was already high, but I had a weird experience with a mass gainer protein powder three years ago that caused a dramatic spike in liver enzymes. My doctor told me to cease using it immediately, and the issue resolved. Otherwise, I can't point to any specific supplement causing me problems, but I'll list them here. I didn't take all of these at the same time, but I'll list duration as well. These are the supplements I was taking over roughly the last two years. I stopped taking all of these in February after it became obvious something was very wrong with my health.

• Always taken: B-Complex, Omega-3 w/CoQ10, kelp-based Iodine w/Selenium*\*
• Taken for roughly one year: DHEA (25mg)(after a month of starting this, friends commented my voice sounded different and my beard was fuller), L-Carnitine (made me feel energetic), Lion's Mane (provided a clear mental boost, which I liked enough to start consuming the fresh version and found it was stronger), HMB, Turmeric
  
• Taken infrequently: Glucosamine Chondritin (for an old injury that continues to cause some pain. I suspected at one point it may have been causing joint inflammation and stopped taking it after that.), Vitamin D (10,000IU)
  
• **I experimented with different forms of iodine supplementation for a few years, after reading that transdermal iodine was more readily available sometime in 2018. Painting a small, 1x1inch patch on my skin every few days improved my sleep quality considerably and made me feel pretty good, but it became clear I could also be overdoing it after a few weeks and I pared back to only doing it when I felt like it was needed. I would estimate on average I did this once every two weeks until about 2019, before stopping completely. I did start doing it very infrequently again after I started feeling fatigue creeping up around 2021, at most once a month for about a year, but I felt that it wasn't helping and may have been making me feel worse. I had some suspicions I was getting too much iodine at times, possibly from salt. It was around then I found the kelp iodine pill, and by 2022 I opted to take the iodine pill instead, but even then I would only take it for a month or two, on and off. I am suspicious that excessive iodine may have played a role here.
  

How did I get here?
I've been experiencing fatigue, constant anxiety, feeling cold all the time, low testosterone (<200ng/L) and low levels of thyroid hormones (but still barely in acceptable range) for around two years, but I think it's likely to be older than that. It wasn't that bad at first, but symptoms have ramped up in the last six months at an increasing pace. As far back as November 2023, I understood that my symptoms clearly fit one of two possibilities, either hypo-thyroidism, or thyroid cancer, but it remained a suspicion and I knew I needed additional testing, so despite pushback, I requested at a November appointment with primary care that we do additional tests in February if I didn't see an improvement. In late-January I had little reddish bumps forming directly on my adam's apple, first one then three. My (now former) primary care doctor referred me to a dermatologist, who thought nothing of it, and gave me an antibiotic and then a follow up a month later. The bumps, which we thought were cysts, had flattened and turned a faint purple but had not disappeared. My voice was also becoming noticeably more strained and hoarse. Primary care was clearly not taking my claims of discomfort seriously after having seen her for about a year, with no improvement. She was actively pushing back on my request for further tests after the dermatologist (despite the clinically low testosterone that she had found at my urging, which at the time was the only anomalous result I had to go on). The dermatologist still thought they were probably cysts at the mid-March follow up, but by then I had much stronger suspicions of cancer as my symptoms had gotten somewhat worse. To her credit, the dermatologist listened to my concerns about a possible thyroid issue, and tried to inspect my neck for goiters, but admitted she was not familiar enough with that area of medicine to make any kind of recommendation. Still, she offered to send me for an ultrasound, but after some discussion, we both agreed that I should seek another opinion first. I went for a second opinion from a family friend who is a doctor, and she heard out my concerns and began ordering a suite of tests. By late-March, she discovered mild, borderline anemia and insulin insensitivity, and confirmed clinically low testosterone. We were considering testosterone replacement, but she recommended a biopsy since there were now five small cysts on my neck right on my adam's apple. I also began having pain and pressure in my right ear, and initially we suspected an ear infection, but it did not go away with antibiotics and has been intermittent ever since. I had a biopsy at the end of April that came back for 3 Bethesda VI nodules in my thyroid, two in the left lobe, one in the right, two over 2cm and one just under. All came back positive for malignancy, with histology indicating papillary thyroid cancer.
What does it look like?
The initial late-April ultrasound showed the three largest nodules, which were followed with an ultrasound biopsy that revealed more, smaller ones, but it was unclear how many. An MRI in late-May revealed a level III lymph node on the right and a possible extension of the tumor into the clavicular area, but it went beyond the area of the scan. Things started moving more quickly, and I was scheduled to see my surgeon next week, but they got me in a full week ahead after reviewing my scans. At the surgeons office, they did another ultrasound and we saw potentially dozens of smaller microcarcinomas throughout the entire thyroid. The tumor that had extended beyond my thyroid had clearly gone below my clavicle and is snaking into my chest cavity, which is apparently a rare thing. He also found two additional suspicious lymph nodes on both sides, and performed another biopsy on all three lymph nodes right there in his office. He was also extremely suspicious that the cancer had invaded part of my parathyroid. The three larger tumors are incredibly ugly and show considerable development, suggesting they have been there for a long time.
What is treatment going to look like?
Surgery will come first, and because of the advanced state, the surgeon was not able to say whether or not it would be fully operable. He wants to take a very aggressive surgical approach, so a Total Thyroidectomy, removal of all suspicious lymph nodes, possible removal of all or part of the parathyroid, and in his words, "skeletonization" of the vagus and vocal nerves to head off any risk of nerve invasion. His approach may change after opening me up, but he felt that he would be taking an aggressive approach. It is a possibility he may decide not to complete the operation in full or in part, and opt for radioactive iodine or a tyrosine kinase to shrink the tumors enough that it is safer to operate. Radioactive iodine therapy is a foregone conclusion at this point, and we will be doing a full-body radioiodine/CT scan, possibly before surgery to get a full picture.
Questions:
So I have some questions that hopefully some kind stranger on the internet will shed some light on:

• Exactly how fucked am I?
• Surgical nerve damage is a huge concern for me. I really, really don't want to sound like RFK Jr., and damage to the vagus nerve is pretty serious. What can I ask for during surgery to help minimize any damage? Are there any recovery tips that might aid or improve my odds of recovering as much of my voice and nerve function as possible?
• Scarring is also a big concern. I will likely require a radical neck dissection on both sides of the neck, although this surgeon has a unique surgical approach that results in much smaller scars than the "hockey-stick" incisions that are more common, and I'm extremely grateful that he will be using this method. Due to the position of the major tumors, it will be a bit lower down than most surgeries, so it can be hidden fairly easily. But scarring is still a concern regardless. What can I ask for during and after surgery that will lead to minimal scarring?
• I understand that surgeons sometimes leave behind metal components to secure internal areas that need to heal. However, other family members have developed severe reactions to the metals in surgical clips and even staples, and I have every reason to suspect I will respond the same way. How do I go about asking the surgeon not to leave behind any metal components? Is there anything specifically I should be asking for to replace a metal component?
• Are there any additional tests we should be considering? From what I understand, there are some molecular tests that may inform his surgical approach, and others that may give us a clearer picture of my prognosis. We are already doing genetic tests on the lymph node samples, and it is unclear if the initial nodule biopsy sent out genetic tests in tandem, but we have not received anything in regards to moleculagenetic testing.
• I'm looking at a several months of on-and-off treatments and surgeries. What can I be doing to make myself more comfortable? And what should I be avoiding?
• I'm looking at aggressive radioactive iodine treatment. From what I understand, my fertility could be at risk, and I would like to have kids one day. Do I need to consider freezing sperm? I do not have an estimate for how much radiation in total I can expect to be exposed to over the course of treatment, but it will probably be quite intense.
• What should my expectations be for disease-free survival? It seems my prognosis could still be decent, around 74% at five years if I assume this is a case of distant metastasis because of the clavicle alone, but it is very unclear and the surgeon did not comment on it. It may be too early to speculate because we don't have a full body scan yet either, but there appears to be a lot of room for this to be much worse as we learn more. I am young, and the surgeon seemed genuinely surprised that I present so normally in spite of how terrible I feel. He noted that although my voice sounds hoarse, I still sound much, much better than he would expect having seen the ultrasound. The general vibe I got from him is that despite how advanced it looks, I have decent odds of beating it for now. Still, I worry this could become a chronic condition.

If you have any experiences or knowledge that could be informative, I will be extremely grateful for anything you have to share. I have feelers out to family and friends as well for advice, and at this point any information is information I can work with. I feel comfortable with the approach my surgeon has presented so far, but it's going to be really rough. Here's to hoping this goes well.

Archana stepped off from the bus, pulling the shawl even more tightly against herself, taking care to wrap the woollen garment around her ears to protect against the bustling wind. Even with her full saree, socks, a cardigan and the shawl, she had been shivering in the rickety bus, with the broken glasses and wooden window shutters letting more of the cold air in than keeping it out.
Kunidanga was not the most crowded village in the district to begin with, and now at the end of December, with the temperatures hovering in the single digits, the roads wore a deserted look in the fading light of the dusk. Situated on the banks of the Torsa river in North Bengal, it was a tiny little hamlet which was barely a speck on the map. Archana was the only one who got off the bus, which left immediately for the final stop at Dinhata - nearly ten miles due south near the border with Bangladesh.
The bus stop, with its tin roof having long lost its shine, the mandatory stray dog lying in a corner in a ball of old newspapers, the walls completely covered in graffiti and posters of everything from the latest theatrical releases in the one movie theatre of the district in CoochBehar, the latest political agenda for the upcoming elections, ones extolling the virtue of the famous palmist Sri Abhaynanda while others that extolled the brilliance of D K Lodh - the infamous ‘sex doctor’.
Even with the musky odour of too many sweat stained bodies, months of public urination and defecation which hadn’t been washed away since the last rains, Archana sat down on the stone bench - just to balance herself for a moment.
She slowly patted her belly, calming the little one inside.
It was just the first trimester, actually the very beginning of it. Today was her first visit to the doctor in the district hospital. Archana had been experiencing the tell-tale symptoms of pregnancy for the past few days and Nakul was absolutely, joyously certain, that they were going to be parents! They had gone to the doctor together in the first bus from Kunidanga, starting at the break of dawn. Nakul had fidgeted the whole way there, nervous excitement bubbling through at every second while Archana simply tried to control her nausea - made worse by the rolling motion of the rickety old bus on the untarred roads. Waiting for the first consultation with the doctor, going for the blood tests, then another long wait for the reports and then the final confirmation from the doctor had taken them the whole day.
A quick meal at the hospital canteen, they had to rush to catch the last bus departing for Kunidanga. Nakul had gotten down from the bus at the last stop, he needed to visit the government depot there to collect some documents for his job as Kunidanga’s public works superintendent.
Their small government issued bungalow was not too far from the bus stop and Archana was confident that it was a distance she could cover well enough on her own - having taken the same short route countless times in the past. She stood up, clutching her small purse with some spare change and the regulation IDs, a bit tired, but with the additional spring in the step which happiness sometimes brings you!
Archana had only gone a few steps when she stopped, her senses overwhelmed by the unique smell of burning incense, fresh flowers and freshly cut fruit and milk - that typical combination which filled the air around all hindu temples - a smell so common and deeply ingrained among the god fearing Bengalis.
A few more steps along the dusty corporation road, and the source of the smell became clear to Archana. A sadhu - a kapalika to be more precise from the way he was dressed - had set up a small tenement on the empty plot of land just off the road, hardly a hundred feet from the bus stand.
A large man, well toned but not really muscular, the skin tanned with constant exposure to the elements, a thick beard and wrapped in the regulation red dhoti and uttariya sat in prayer.
It was a deep plot of land, opening up into the forested shrubbery at the back, butted on one side by the road and the bus stand, the other end a good two-three hundred feet away - completely empty except for a few shrubs and bushes, till Kanai’s small stationary shop.
In the middle of this huge plot of land, there stood an old Ashwathama tree, perennial, huge, imposing! The sadhu had created a small clearing at the base of this tree, burning away the shrub and the grass, the soil blackened and charred by the fire. He had planted his ornamental trident - the trishul - on the ground, the tips reddened with what seemed by red chandan powder. A small cloth tote bag hung from one of the low hanging branches - evidently containing all his worldly possessions.
The sadhu sat with his back to the tree, his eyes closed in prayer. Even in the dim light of the dusk, he seemed to have extremely sharp features, even though his face was gaunt and he had the emancipated look of someone who seldom has a proper meal. However, there was a sense of strength in him, an unexplainable aura of dark power, which however inspired more fear than fealty.
The normally god-fearing Archana instinctively folded her hands, palms touching, with that well known gesture of respect - in this case - somehow tinged with fear.
She stood rooted to the spot, trying to decide in her mind whether to approach this godman or not. On one hand, with the new pregnancy, she instinctively wanted the blessings and comfort from divine sources - and this one seemed to have quite literally fallen on her lap; on the other hand, there was a small tug of fear, a deep unnatural cold grasp of terror from deep within her which warned her to turn away from this man - and never catch his attention - ever.
Archana was brought out of her indecision by a sudden deepthroated fierce growling. A brown stray - so common on the streets of India, had entered the open land from the bush in the back. Perhaps this is where it slept during the night, finding a comfortable resting spot amidst the shrubbery and hedges. Having found an intruder who had taken over what the dog must have considered to be its own territory, he had reacted the only way he knew how - baring its canines and letting out a low fiery growl to warn the human away.
Archana was shocked by what happened next. She was about to shout out a warning to the meditating godman, when the man opened his eyes and with a cruel and brutal swiftness picked up his trishul from where he had fixed it to the ground and threw it at the crouching canine nearly fifty feet away. It happened so quickly that the poor creature barely had a moment to react, its growl dying away as the trident easily found its mark - cracking his skull open and breaking its jaw. The sadhu approached the fatally injured animal, picking up his formidable weapon once again, ostensibly to finish the job.
Archana didn’t wait around to witness the horrific aftermath. Shocked to her very core by the swift brutality and instinctive boorish behaviour of the sadhu, she gave credence to the tightly coiled fear in her stomach and moved as quickly as she could, past Kanai’s small stationary shop and beyond the bend in the road which lead to the barb wire compound of the government superintendent - Nakul’s official workspace as well as the small living quarters in the back.
She reached the sanctuary of her house, securely fastening the door behind her, breathless not only due to the sudden enforced exercise, but more so because of the sudden brutality which she had just witnessed.
Suddenly exhausted and drained, Archana went into the tiny bedroom, most of the space taken up by the large king-size wooden bed. A wedding gift from her grandparents, the huge bed covered almost three quarters of the room, leaving just enough space to fit in the old fashioned steel almirah and a mirror fixed on a hook on the wall to serve as a makeshift dresser.
Archana lay down on the bed, nauseated and deeply troubled by the sudden violence she had witnessed. She could still hear the crunching noise when the heavy iron trident hit the leaping canine, its yelp of pain. She grabbed the thick woollen blanket from the top of the almirah, wrapped it around herself, and curled up on the bed. Suddenly wracked by deep sobs, Archana wept. Wept in sympathy for the poor stray dog which was just doing what stray canines are supposed to do. Wept perhaps due to the sudden change in hormones in her body. Wept due to exhaustion and all the changes happening and about to happen. But mostly Archana wept in fear. Fear of the Sadhu who had suddenly appeared at the edge of the village, perhaps promising piety and salvation, but also promising a deep, dark violence.
X
Life moved at a breakneck pace for Archana and Nakul. Busy with Nakul’s work as the government administrator of public works, Archana’s work at the nearby primary school as a clerical staff and of course, getting ready to welcome the new addition to their family. Soon, the horrifying encounter with the Sadhu was an almost forgotten memory in Archana’s mind.
The first time they had to go back to the district hospital for a check up, Archana was worried. She hadn’t shared the incident of her first meeting with the Kapalik with Nakul. She didn’t see the point of unnecessarily worrying him and on top of that she wanted to push the memory of that incident as far away from her mind as she could.
However when they walked down the road to the bus stop early in the morning to visit the hospital, Archana was relieved to see that the godmans encampment was empty. The small camp had grown, it had a look of permanence about it now. A makeshift wooden fence created a border around the clearing around the tree. A small but sturdy wooden shed with a thatched roof had been built, a place for the worshipper to shelter in during the cold nights of the north. The large tree at the centre of it all bore various vermillion marks of sindur and sandalwood - the common symbols of hindu worship. However the man himself was nowhere to be seen.
By some strange twist of fate, Archana never ran into the man on her many visits to the clinic, passing by his ever expanding house of worship. There were obvious signs of his presence, and Nakul mentioned having seen him nearly every day, but luckily through some mystical working, Archana never had to face the strange sadhu who had taken up residence in their village.
She heard about him quite often. The young girl who came in twice a day to help with the household chores, the old bearded vegetable seller who came tooting on his van each morning, her few friends and the infrequent neighbour who dropped by, all had news about Kripali Baba.
He was known to be extremely pious, a follower of the goddess Kaali, he was known to keep the most difficult penances for himself as he tried to get closer to his venerated deity.
He was powerful too, quite capable of curing even the most incurable diseases, helping treat cancerous growth in an old coolie, treating the deadly lung infection in another. He was also known to be particularly partial to helping mothers - whom he considered to be an embodiment of his revered deity - Maa Kaali.
He was known to sit on long fasts right before every new moon, on which night he would disappear from his makeshift ashram and be away for days at a time.
Archana listened to all these tales with only half a mind, as she was completely occupied with the process of becoming a mother.
With every passing week, the small foetus growing inside of her grew more into a human and neither Archana nor Nakul could wait to get their newborn out in the world. They spent long hours planning for the baby’s name - Rabi if it was a boy and Nisha for a girl.
Their little island of happiness got a new inhabitant soon enough, when a handsome little boy, healthy and hale, was born to them at the turn of autumn. Rabi had arrived.
A precocious child, he was truly the Sun of his parents’ lives - the angel around whom Archana and Nakul spent doting around forever. Born during the auspicious Durga Puja, Rabi got the first glimpse of the majestic goddess Durga when he was barely a day old, the ecstatic parents taking him to the Durga Temple in the village to get him blessed and anointed.
The first few days of the young Rabi’s life were filled with joy, with the joyous grandparents, various aunts and uncles all coming to visit the newborn and celebrating the auspicious blessings of Maa Durga quickly followed by the Bengali Laxmi Puja - the celebration of the goddess of wealth and good fortune!
However, after a few days, the relatives all left, leaving the newborn and the new parents to their own schedule. Nakul had to rejoin his office, having used up his vacation days, and right the next week, was asked to go to the district office for some new instructions. Even though Kaali Puja was the next day, Nakul had to make the early morning journey leaving the sleeping Rabi and anxious Archana behind.
Promising her that he would come back right after the urgent meeting called by the new superintendent, Nakul left for the bus stop. Even though winter was still a few months away, the days were shorter and the morning Sun wasn’t fully up, the road lit by the reddish glow of dawn filtering through the mist which was still slowly receding.
As he passed by the ever expanding adobe of Kripali Baba, as he had done a hundred times over the past year, he saw the sadhu sitting in the traditional lotus pose - deep in meditation.
Nakul brought his hands together clasping them briefly against his forehead in the traditional show of respect, before hurrying on his way to catch the bus from Dinhata.
Archana and Rabi had a pleasant morning, the mother son duo enjoying the sunshine in the small garden which they had just outside their cottage. Rabi lay on his back on the small plastic crib - a gift from an indulgent uncle, while Archana sat on a blanket next to him, singing him lullabies, laughing at the various expressions the newborn unwittingly made.
After giving him a massage with the baby oil, Archana gave him a quick bath in lukewarm water before feeding him and putting him down for a nap in their bedroom. She sat for a moment staring at her sleeping son, her heart full of joy and satisfaction.
However she had to get moving soon, the time the baby slept being the only window when she could get any of the household chores done. Even though the girl who helped out with the household chores took care of the more manual work, Archana still had to cook for herself and Nakul. She also washed all of baby Rabi’s clothes and knickknacks on her own, unable to trust anyone else with her baby’s things.
Finishing all the household chores took a while - Archana always had an ear cocked for the slightest stirring sound. Rabi was a light sleeper and would cry his eyes out if he woke up and didn’t find his mother next to him.
Finally done with all the chores, taking a quick min long bath, and scarfing down her lunch, Archana went to bed, lying down exhausted next to her baby.
Rain in the autumn months in Kunidanga isn’t unheard of, but it isn’t a common occurrence either. Thundershowers are definitely a more uncommon sight.
Archana woke up disoriented and scared at the clap of thunder which had crashed somewhere close by.
She hadn’t realised when she had dozed off, tired from the constant crushing routine which she had as a new mother. Now, awake, she was scared at the dark cloudy sky outside, the gusting wind, the clapping thunder.
She suddenly turned - where was Rabi? The small infant was nowhere on the bed! Archana let out a wail of despair, probably her precious baby had rolled over and fallen from the bed. But then why was he silent? Why was he not crying? Was he hurt?
She scrambled off the bed, searching for Rabi, but he wasn’t there.
He was hardly old enough to turn on his belly, so it wasn’t likely that he had crawled out of the room.
Desperately, with an anguished cry, Archana searched all around the tiny house, darkened by the storm approaching, with no power. The only source of light was the now near constant flashes of lightning.
The house was empty.
There was no Rabi.
Now completely panic stricken, Archana ran outside, ignoring the large drops of icy rain drenching her, the uneven unpaved road striking her bare feet.
The road was empty, no one had ventured out in this weather. The wind and the rain made it really hard to see anything.
Not knowing which way to go Archana ran towards the bus stop, for no good reason other than knowing that’s the direction Nakul would come back from.
She passed by Kripali Baba but he was nowhere to be seen. The rain was pouring down now and there were small puddles forming on the sodden ground around the thatched hut which Kripal Baba had built for himself.
Somehow drawn in by some irresistible fear and a deep sense of foreboding, Archana turned off the road and into the venerated plot, taking trepidation filled steps towards the drenched hut. The makeshift abode didn’t have a door, just a heavy rug hung from a string like a curtain.
Archana flung the curtain aside and stepped inside - it was empty. No sign of Kripali Baba. No sign of Rabi.
There was a rolled up mattress on one corner of the tiny space, a few change of clothes on a wooden pallet, acting as a cupboard, and a few odds and ends lying here and there.
Archana didn’t know what she was expecting but she ran back out, somehow relieved to have not found her son there in the sadhu’s hut but also more scared wondering where he might be.
Much later that evening Nakul came back to find a comatose Archana wailing while a few neighbouring women tried to console her. Shocked and desolate, Nakul rushed into the house, convinced that their little boy was hiding somewhere. He turned the entire cottage upside down but alas there was no sign of the missing child.
Minutes stretched to hours, hours into days. The hapless parents remained comatose, completely clueless about what might have happened to their child. Neighbours, relatives, well wishers all had some sort of advice or the other, but none which did anything to alleviate the pain and suffering the distraught couple was going through.
Even though Nakul was fraught with an unbearable sense of loss, Archana was comatose wracked by an overwhelming sense of guilt which sat like a suffocating weight on her chest. She had been castigating herself for falling asleep and not even realising that her baby wasn’t next to her anymore.
When she heard someone saying to go to Kaali temple near Salmara, the last village on the banks of the Torsa river before it entered Bangladesh, she made up her mind to go. She had heard that the deity in that temple was particularly powerful and particularly keen to the plight of mothers - apparently the temple had been built and consecrated by a mother in memory of her child who had drowned in the river many years ago.
Nakul didn’t object. Even though he had given up hope and accepted it in his mind that their Rabi was lost, he didn’t want to dissuade Archana. They started off that very afternoon, taking a rickety old van from a kind neighbour, taking the long winding muddy roads along the bank of the river.
The Kaali Temple was old and bore a deserted look. It didn’t live up to its reputation of hosting a powerful deity who never let mothers return empty handed. There was no rush of devotees, no sound of clanging bells, no smell of incense or cut fruits - all the common sensitivities which one found afflicted near a temple.
Archana and Nakul hadn’t given any thought of bringing any offerings, they did not come here for any elaborate ritual, just to pray to a powerful deity to help them find their child.
As they walked towards the temple, they were surprised to see a lone figure sitting on the entrance steps, smoking a beedi.
Kripali Baba seemed to be equally surprised to see the couple, though he didn’t really seem to acknowledge their presence. If he had a flicker of recognition for them, he hid it well; neither did he raise an eyebrow at the couple’s dishevelled, unkempt appearance.
It was getting dark, seemingly the beginnings of another storm. Nakul hurried Archana inside the temple, they had a long way to go back.
Archana sat in front of the deity, elevated on a black stone. The deity was different from the others of the same goddess which she had ever seen. It seemed to be carved out of the same black rock as the base on which sat, the features carved out of stone. Even though the masonry was excellent, the features of the goddess had harsh edges - harsher than normal perhaps. What was most striking was her eyes. They seemed to be glowing, a strange lifelike quality quite astonishing to see in a stone carved idol.
Archana poured her heart out, dry eyed as there were no more tears left in her, she prayed to the goddess as only a mother can. She promised all that she had and all that she hadn’t, promised her own life and an eternal servitude to the goddess to have her child back.
All she wanted was for her Rabi to be back. Back to his mother’s embrace - where he belonged.
The stone deity had no answer. There was no sign, no crash of thunder as a prompt from the almighty that her deepest entreaties were heard.
Dejected, desolate Archana couldn’t control herself as she felt that the last vestiges of hope which she was nurturing in her heart were now broken. Her Rabi was not going to come back to her.
Nakul held Archana up, tears of a deep inconsolable grief flowing down his own face.
They stepped back out of the temple to dark skies. The wind had picked up and the heavy rain laden cumulonimbus clouds were racing in from the horizon shading the scenery with a dark hue.
Nakul suddenly shrank back, pulling Archana back as well. Kripali Baba lay on the ground, face up, eyes open, not breathing.
Quite dead.
There was a gaping wound in his stomach, a bloody, raw puncture.
Inside out.
As if something inside his stomach had tried to crawl out. Crawl out in a hurry. As if, that something, was being summoned. Summoned by a mother.

Archana stepped off from the bus, pulling the shawl even more tightly against herself, taking care to wrap the woollen garment around her ears to protect against the bustling wind. Even with her full saree, socks, a cardigan and the shawl, she had been shivering in the rickety bus, with the broken glasses and wooden window shutters letting more of the cold air in than keeping it out.
Kunidanga was not the most crowded village in the district to begin with, and now at the end of December, with the temperatures hovering in the single digits, the roads wore a deserted look in the fading light of the dusk. Situated on the banks of the Torsa river in North Bengal, it was a tiny little hamlet which was barely a speck on the map. Archana was the only one who got off the bus, which left immediately for the final stop at Dinhata - nearly ten miles due south near the border with Bangladesh.
The bus stop, with its tin roof having long lost its shine, the mandatory stray dog lying in a corner in a ball of old newspapers, the walls completely covered in graffiti and posters of everything from the latest theatrical releases in the one movie theatre of the district in CoochBehar, the latest political agenda for the upcoming elections, ones extolling the virtue of the famous palmist Sri Abhaynanda while others that extolled the brilliance of D K Lodh - the infamous ‘sex doctor’.
Even with the musky odour of too many sweat stained bodies, months of public urination and defecation which hadn’t been washed away since the last rains, Archana sat down on the stone bench - just to balance herself for a moment.
She slowly patted her belly, calming the little one inside.
It was just the first trimester, actually the very beginning of it. Today was her first visit to the doctor in the district hospital. Archana had been experiencing the tell-tale symptoms of pregnancy for the past few days and Nakul was absolutely, joyously certain, that they were going to be parents! They had gone to the doctor together in the first bus from Kunidanga, starting at the break of dawn. Nakul had fidgeted the whole way there, nervous excitement bubbling through at every second while Archana simply tried to control her nausea - made worse by the rolling motion of the rickety old bus on the untarred roads. Waiting for the first consultation with the doctor, going for the blood tests, then another long wait for the reports and then the final confirmation from the doctor had taken them the whole day.
A quick meal at the hospital canteen, they had to rush to catch the last bus departing for Kunidanga. Nakul had gotten down from the bus at the last stop, he needed to visit the government depot there to collect some documents for his job as Kunidanga’s public works superintendent.
Their small government issued bungalow was not too far from the bus stop and Archana was confident that it was a distance she could cover well enough on her own - having taken the same short route countless times in the past. She stood up, clutching her small purse with some spare change and the regulation IDs, a bit tired, but with the additional spring in the step which happiness sometimes brings you!
Archana had only gone a few steps when she stopped, her senses overwhelmed by the unique smell of burning incense, fresh flowers and freshly cut fruit and milk - that typical combination which filled the air around all hindu temples - a smell so common and deeply ingrained among the god fearing Bengalis.
A few more steps along the dusty corporation road, and the source of the smell became clear to Archana. A sadhu - a kapalika to be more precise from the way he was dressed - had set up a small tenement on the empty plot of land just off the road, hardly a hundred feet from the bus stand.
A large man, well toned but not really muscular, the skin tanned with constant exposure to the elements, a thick beard and wrapped in the regulation red dhoti and uttariya sat in prayer.
It was a deep plot of land, opening up into the forested shrubbery at the back, butted on one side by the road and the bus stand, the other end a good two-three hundred feet away - completely empty except for a few shrubs and bushes, till Kanai’s small stationary shop.
In the middle of this huge plot of land, there stood an old Ashwathama tree, perennial, huge, imposing! The sadhu had created a small clearing at the base of this tree, burning away the shrub and the grass, the soil blackened and charred by the fire. He had planted his ornamental trident - the trishul - on the ground, the tips reddened with what seemed by red chandan powder. A small cloth tote bag hung from one of the low hanging branches - evidently containing all his worldly possessions.
The sadhu sat with his back to the tree, his eyes closed in prayer. Even in the dim light of the dusk, he seemed to have extremely sharp features, even though his face was gaunt and he had the emancipated look of someone who seldom has a proper meal. However, there was a sense of strength in him, an unexplainable aura of dark power, which however inspired more fear than fealty.
The normally god-fearing Archana instinctively folded her hands, palms touching, with that well known gesture of respect - in this case - somehow tinged with fear.
She stood rooted to the spot, trying to decide in her mind whether to approach this godman or not. On one hand, with the new pregnancy, she instinctively wanted the blessings and comfort from divine sources - and this one seemed to have quite literally fallen on her lap; on the other hand, there was a small tug of fear, a deep unnatural cold grasp of terror from deep within her which warned her to turn away from this man - and never catch his attention - ever.
Archana was brought out of her indecision by a sudden deepthroated fierce growling. A brown stray - so common on the streets of India, had entered the open land from the bush in the back. Perhaps this is where it slept during the night, finding a comfortable resting spot amidst the shrubbery and hedges. Having found an intruder who had taken over what the dog must have considered to be its own territory, he had reacted the only way he knew how - baring its canines and letting out a low fiery growl to warn the human away.
Archana was shocked by what happened next. She was about to shout out a warning to the meditating godman, when the man opened his eyes and with a cruel and brutal swiftness picked up his trishul from where he had fixed it to the ground and threw it at the crouching canine nearly fifty feet away. It happened so quickly that the poor creature barely had a moment to react, its growl dying away as the trident easily found its mark - cracking his skull open and breaking its jaw. The sadhu approached the fatally injured animal, picking up his formidable weapon once again, ostensibly to finish the job.
Archana didn’t wait around to witness the horrific aftermath. Shocked to her very core by the swift brutality and instinctive boorish behaviour of the sadhu, she gave credence to the tightly coiled fear in her stomach and moved as quickly as she could, past Kanai’s small stationary shop and beyond the bend in the road which lead to the barb wire compound of the government superintendent - Nakul’s official workspace as well as the small living quarters in the back.
She reached the sanctuary of her house, securely fastening the door behind her, breathless not only due to the sudden enforced exercise, but more so because of the sudden brutality which she had just witnessed.
Suddenly exhausted and drained, Archana went into the tiny bedroom, most of the space taken up by the large king-size wooden bed. A wedding gift from her grandparents, the huge bed covered almost three quarters of the room, leaving just enough space to fit in the old fashioned steel almirah and a mirror fixed on a hook on the wall to serve as a makeshift dresser.
Archana lay down on the bed, nauseated and deeply troubled by the sudden violence she had witnessed. She could still hear the crunching noise when the heavy iron trident hit the leaping canine, its yelp of pain. She grabbed the thick woollen blanket from the top of the almirah, wrapped it around herself, and curled up on the bed. Suddenly wracked by deep sobs, Archana wept. Wept in sympathy for the poor stray dog which was just doing what stray canines are supposed to do. Wept perhaps due to the sudden change in hormones in her body. Wept due to exhaustion and all the changes happening and about to happen. But mostly Archana wept in fear. Fear of the Sadhu who had suddenly appeared at the edge of the village, perhaps promising piety and salvation, but also promising a deep, dark violence.
X
Life moved at a breakneck pace for Archana and Nakul. Busy with Nakul’s work as the government administrator of public works, Archana’s work at the nearby primary school as a clerical staff and of course, getting ready to welcome the new addition to their family. Soon, the horrifying encounter with the Sadhu was an almost forgotten memory in Archana’s mind.
The first time they had to go back to the district hospital for a check up, Archana was worried. She hadn’t shared the incident of her first meeting with the Kapalik with Nakul. She didn’t see the point of unnecessarily worrying him and on top of that she wanted to push the memory of that incident as far away from her mind as she could.
However when they walked down the road to the bus stop early in the morning to visit the hospital, Archana was relieved to see that the godmans encampment was empty. The small camp had grown, it had a look of permanence about it now. A makeshift wooden fence created a border around the clearing around the tree. A small but sturdy wooden shed with a thatched roof had been built, a place for the worshipper to shelter in during the cold nights of the north. The large tree at the centre of it all bore various vermillion marks of sindur and sandalwood - the common symbols of hindu worship. However the man himself was nowhere to be seen.
By some strange twist of fate, Archana never ran into the man on her many visits to the clinic, passing by his ever expanding house of worship. There were obvious signs of his presence, and Nakul mentioned having seen him nearly every day, but luckily through some mystical working, Archana never had to face the strange sadhu who had taken up residence in their village.
She heard about him quite often. The young girl who came in twice a day to help with the household chores, the old bearded vegetable seller who came tooting on his van each morning, her few friends and the infrequent neighbour who dropped by, all had news about Kripali Baba.
He was known to be extremely pious, a follower of the goddess Kaali, he was known to keep the most difficult penances for himself as he tried to get closer to his venerated deity.
He was powerful too, quite capable of curing even the most incurable diseases, helping treat cancerous growth in an old coolie, treating the deadly lung infection in another. He was also known to be particularly partial to helping mothers - whom he considered to be an embodiment of his revered deity - Maa Kaali.
He was known to sit on long fasts right before every new moon, on which night he would disappear from his makeshift ashram and be away for days at a time.
Archana listened to all these tales with only half a mind, as she was completely occupied with the process of becoming a mother.
With every passing week, the small foetus growing inside of her grew more into a human and neither Archana nor Nakul could wait to get their newborn out in the world. They spent long hours planning for the baby’s name - Rabi if it was a boy and Nisha for a girl.
Their little island of happiness got a new inhabitant soon enough, when a handsome little boy, healthy and hale, was born to them at the turn of autumn. Rabi had arrived.
A precocious child, he was truly the Sun of his parents’ lives - the angel around whom Archana and Nakul spent doting around forever. Born during the auspicious Durga Puja, Rabi got the first glimpse of the majestic goddess Durga when he was barely a day old, the ecstatic parents taking him to the Durga Temple in the village to get him blessed and anointed.
The first few days of the young Rabi’s life were filled with joy, with the joyous grandparents, various aunts and uncles all coming to visit the newborn and celebrating the auspicious blessings of Maa Durga quickly followed by the Bengali Laxmi Puja - the celebration of the goddess of wealth and good fortune!
However, after a few days, the relatives all left, leaving the newborn and the new parents to their own schedule. Nakul had to rejoin his office, having used up his vacation days, and right the next week, was asked to go to the district office for some new instructions. Even though Kaali Puja was the next day, Nakul had to make the early morning journey leaving the sleeping Rabi and anxious Archana behind.
Promising her that he would come back right after the urgent meeting called by the new superintendent, Nakul left for the bus stop. Even though winter was still a few months away, the days were shorter and the morning Sun wasn’t fully up, the road lit by the reddish glow of dawn filtering through the mist which was still slowly receding.
As he passed by the ever expanding adobe of Kripali Baba, as he had done a hundred times over the past year, he saw the sadhu sitting in the traditional lotus pose - deep in meditation.
Nakul brought his hands together clasping them briefly against his forehead in the traditional show of respect, before hurrying on his way to catch the bus from Dinhata.
Archana and Rabi had a pleasant morning, the mother son duo enjoying the sunshine in the small garden which they had just outside their cottage. Rabi lay on his back on the small plastic crib - a gift from an indulgent uncle, while Archana sat on a blanket next to him, singing him lullabies, laughing at the various expressions the newborn unwittingly made.
After giving him a massage with the baby oil, Archana gave him a quick bath in lukewarm water before feeding him and putting him down for a nap in their bedroom. She sat for a moment staring at her sleeping son, her heart full of joy and satisfaction.
However she had to get moving soon, the time the baby slept being the only window when she could get any of the household chores done. Even though the girl who helped out with the household chores took care of the more manual work, Archana still had to cook for herself and Nakul. She also washed all of baby Rabi’s clothes and knickknacks on her own, unable to trust anyone else with her baby’s things.
Finishing all the household chores took a while - Archana always had an ear cocked for the slightest stirring sound. Rabi was a light sleeper and would cry his eyes out if he woke up and didn’t find his mother next to him.
Finally done with all the chores, taking a quick min long bath, and scarfing down her lunch, Archana went to bed, lying down exhausted next to her baby.
Rain in the autumn months in Kunidanga isn’t unheard of, but it isn’t a common occurrence either. Thundershowers are definitely a more uncommon sight.
Archana woke up disoriented and scared at the clap of thunder which had crashed somewhere close by.
She hadn’t realised when she had dozed off, tired from the constant crushing routine which she had as a new mother. Now, awake, she was scared at the dark cloudy sky outside, the gusting wind, the clapping thunder.
She suddenly turned - where was Rabi? The small infant was nowhere on the bed! Archana let out a wail of despair, probably her precious baby had rolled over and fallen from the bed. But then why was he silent? Why was he not crying? Was he hurt?
She scrambled off the bed, searching for Rabi, but he wasn’t there.
He was hardly old enough to turn on his belly, so it wasn’t likely that he had crawled out of the room.
Desperately, with an anguished cry, Archana searched all around the tiny house, darkened by the storm approaching, with no power. The only source of light was the now near constant flashes of lightning.
The house was empty.
There was no Rabi.
Now completely panic stricken, Archana ran outside, ignoring the large drops of icy rain drenching her, the uneven unpaved road striking her bare feet.
The road was empty, no one had ventured out in this weather. The wind and the rain made it really hard to see anything.
Not knowing which way to go Archana ran towards the bus stop, for no good reason other than knowing that’s the direction Nakul would come back from.
She passed by Kripali Baba but he was nowhere to be seen. The rain was pouring down now and there were small puddles forming on the sodden ground around the thatched hut which Kripal Baba had built for himself.
Somehow drawn in by some irresistible fear and a deep sense of foreboding, Archana turned off the road and into the venerated plot, taking trepidation filled steps towards the drenched hut. The makeshift abode didn’t have a door, just a heavy rug hung from a string like a curtain.
Archana flung the curtain aside and stepped inside - it was empty. No sign of Kripali Baba. No sign of Rabi.
There was a rolled up mattress on one corner of the tiny space, a few change of clothes on a wooden pallet, acting as a cupboard, and a few odds and ends lying here and there.
Archana didn’t know what she was expecting but she ran back out, somehow relieved to have not found her son there in the sadhu’s hut but also more scared wondering where he might be.
Much later that evening Nakul came back to find a comatose Archana wailing while a few neighbouring women tried to console her. Shocked and desolate, Nakul rushed into the house, convinced that their little boy was hiding somewhere. He turned the entire cottage upside down but alas there was no sign of the missing child.
Minutes stretched to hours, hours into days. The hapless parents remained comatose, completely clueless about what might have happened to their child. Neighbours, relatives, well wishers all had some sort of advice or the other, but none which did anything to alleviate the pain and suffering the distraught couple was going through.
Even though Nakul was fraught with an unbearable sense of loss, Archana was comatose wracked by an overwhelming sense of guilt which sat like a suffocating weight on her chest. She had been castigating herself for falling asleep and not even realising that her baby wasn’t next to her anymore.
When she heard someone saying to go to Kaali temple near Salmara, the last village on the banks of the Torsa river before it entered Bangladesh, she made up her mind to go. She had heard that the deity in that temple was particularly powerful and particularly keen to the plight of mothers - apparently the temple had been built and consecrated by a mother in memory of her child who had drowned in the river many years ago.
Nakul didn’t object. Even though he had given up hope and accepted it in his mind that their Rabi was lost, he didn’t want to dissuade Archana. They started off that very afternoon, taking a rickety old van from a kind neighbour, taking the long winding muddy roads along the bank of the river.
The Kaali Temple was old and bore a deserted look. It didn’t live up to its reputation of hosting a powerful deity who never let mothers return empty handed. There was no rush of devotees, no sound of clanging bells, no smell of incense or cut fruits - all the common sensitivities which one found afflicted near a temple.
Archana and Nakul hadn’t given any thought of bringing any offerings, they did not come here for any elaborate ritual, just to pray to a powerful deity to help them find their child.
As they walked towards the temple, they were surprised to see a lone figure sitting on the entrance steps, smoking a beedi.
Kripali Baba seemed to be equally surprised to see the couple, though he didn’t really seem to acknowledge their presence. If he had a flicker of recognition for them, he hid it well; neither did he raise an eyebrow at the couple’s dishevelled, unkempt appearance.
It was getting dark, seemingly the beginnings of another storm. Nakul hurried Archana inside the temple, they had a long way to go back.
Archana sat in front of the deity, elevated on a black stone. The deity was different from the others of the same goddess which she had ever seen. It seemed to be carved out of the same black rock as the base on which sat, the features carved out of stone. Even though the masonry was excellent, the features of the goddess had harsh edges - harsher than normal perhaps. What was most striking was her eyes. They seemed to be glowing, a strange lifelike quality quite astonishing to see in a stone carved idol.
Archana poured her heart out, dry eyed as there were no more tears left in her, she prayed to the goddess as only a mother can. She promised all that she had and all that she hadn’t, promised her own life and an eternal servitude to the goddess to have her child back.
All she wanted was for her Rabi to be back. Back to his mother’s embrace - where he belonged.
The stone deity had no answer. There was no sign, no crash of thunder as a prompt from the almighty that her deepest entreaties were heard.
Dejected, desolate Archana couldn’t control herself as she felt that the last vestiges of hope which she was nurturing in her heart were now broken. Her Rabi was not going to come back to her.
Nakul held Archana up, tears of a deep inconsolable grief flowing down his own face.
They stepped back out of the temple to dark skies. The wind had picked up and the heavy rain laden cumulonimbus clouds were racing in from the horizon shading the scenery with a dark hue.
Nakul suddenly shrank back, pulling Archana back as well. Kripali Baba lay on the ground, face up, eyes open, not breathing.
Quite dead.
There was a gaping wound in his stomach, a bloody, raw puncture.
Inside out.
As if something inside his stomach had tried to crawl out. Crawl out in a hurry. As if, that something, was being summoned. Summoned by a mother.

I recently ran out of chicken bone broth powder I've been using for my cats food and I wanted to try something new (mostly because the same brand doubled in price). I'm interested in this one brand's beef bone broth powder called Nature's diet which contains (in order); Beef bone broth, Collagen, Flax Seed, Chia Seed, and Omega 3. Google is giving mixed opinions, mostly saying both flaxseed and chia seed should be given in moderation, and I was wondering if it would be safe to feed my cats. Also interested in topping their food with salmon oil since two of my cats are older (7 and 12) and might need joint support. Any tips or experience shared will be appreciated.

This article discusses some of the best smoothies for pregnancy. Smoothies may be incredibly tempting during pregnancy for a variety of reasons.
When you're pregnant, especially in the first trimester, nausea and vomiting (often referred to as morning sickness) can make eating or holding down your favorite foods difficult.
As your pregnancy advances, you may have heartburn and a sense of fullness. Necessitating changes to your regular meals and snacks. Smoothies are frequently beneficial.
While nausea can make you need something cold and straightforward to digest, like a smoothie, many pregnant women are also preoccupied with their regular lives while preparing for their baby's arrival.
Doctors, nurses, relatives, friends, and practically everyone you know advocate fruit smoothies for pregnant women. And it's for a good purpose.
With the importance of a well-balanced nutritional diet and a focus on keeping the mother's vitamin and mineral intake on track, putting together a complete meal plan and guaranteeing its availability around the clock can be difficult for anyone.
Compared to all of that, making a simple smoothie simply combining a few ingredients, blending it, and savoring an irresistible taste is a lot better option any day of the year.
Let's discuss some of the best smoothies for pregnancy without further ado.

1. Soothing Mango Green Smoothie

This smoothie is fantastic to try if you have an upset stomach, nausea, or digestive troubles. The lemon and ginger assist in preventing nausea, and the cashews and hemp hearts provide protein, which is an important component of blood sugar regulation, which is a significant role in the nausea game," Taylor explains.
Hormone changes in pregnancy can produce nausea. You can alleviate some pregnant women by regularly eating to keep blood sugar levels stable.
Also, eat a balanced diet that includes foods high in protein and complex carbs to help manage your blood sugar and minimize the severity of nausea.
Ingredients include Water, Spinach, Hemp Hearts, Apple, Fresh Ginger, Fresh Lemon Juice, Raw Cashew, and Frozen Mango.
Furthermore, in a high-powered blender, combine all ingredients and blend on high for 30 seconds, or until smooth.
Taste and alter the ingredients as needed, adding more water to thin it down, ice to cool it down, more cashews to thicken it up, or more mango to sweeten it up.

2. Labor Prep Smoothie

The Labor Prep Smoothie is ideal for the final weeks of pregnancy. According to Taylor, carbohydrates, protein, and fiber are the three most critical components of a work snack.
This pregnancy smoothie contains raspberry leaf tea and dates. Two of the most popular end-of-pregnancy foods have been shown to help with labor speed. Also, women who drank raspberry leaf tea spent less time in labor, according to tiny research from 1998.
Furthermore, women who ate dates had a shorter first stage of labor and a higher risk of spontaneous labor, according to a small 2011 study.
These were both modest studies that would need to be repeated. However, including raspberry leaf tea and/or dates into your meals or snacks can be delightful and may have health advantages.
Ingredient for preparing Labor Prep Smoothie includes: Iced raspberry leaf tea, Frozen Raspberry, Rolled Oats, Frozen Avocado Chunks, Collagen Powder, Lemon Juice, etc.

3. Banana Berry Pregnancy Smoothie

This smoothie is especially beneficial during the first trimester since bananas contain potassium. An important electrolyte that must be supplied if vomiting occurs.
Berries offer a sweet and tangy flavor to the smoothie and are one of the highest-fiber foods, which can aid with constipation.
In this smoothie, protein comes from both plants and animals. Hemp's hearts are a good plant protein source. Hemp hearts contain fat that may benefit cardiovascular health, "Lvova explains.
Furthermore, Choline, a vital vitamin during pregnancy, is found in cow's milk. Choline is essential for brain growth and other functions.
Choline is found in various foods, including milk, eggs, fish, and soybeans. This is one of the best smoothies for pregnancy.

4. Maple Peach Smoothie

Lvova made this pregnant smoothie with yogurt and milk to guarantee that both mom and baby get enough calcium.
Omega-3 fatty acids are abundant in flax seeds. DHA, one of the omega-3s found in small amounts in flax (and more considerable amounts in fatty seafood like salmon), has enhanced brain development.
"The fiber in flax seeds is also beneficial for maintaining good bowel patterns," explains Lvova.
The Maple Peach Smoothie also has calcium, and for a good reason. Also, yogurt is an excellent source of calcium and protein in smoothies.
Furthermore, because calcium is one of the minerals that a pregnant woman's body will give to a growing baby from her stores, you may have decreased bone storage if you don't get enough throughout pregnancy.

5. Shamrock Shake

Avocados contain monounsaturated fatty acids, which give the smoothie a creamy, rich flavor. Fiber, B vitamins (particularly folate), vitamin K, potassium, copper, vitamin E, and vitamin C are abundant. Avocados are high in fat, which helps the body absorb fat-soluble vitamins. They also have fiber in them, which can assist with constipation.
Leven likes to use nutrient-dense foods like spinach and yogurt in her smoothie recipes. "Grass-fed whey and organic yogurt are good sources of calcium and protein," Leven notes.
Spinach, which is strong in fiber, vitamin C, vitamin K, vitamin A, calcium, iron, folate, and potassium, is another healthy addition.
Studies have demonstrated these nutrients aid in constipation and fetal development. Furthermore, ingredients include Avocado, Organic baby Spinach, and Protein Powder.

6. Super Smoothie

When you're pregnant and breastfeeding, staying hydrated might be difficult. When you're pregnant, you require more water than usual.
It helps your body produce amniotic fluid, support a bigger blood volume, transport nutrients, and eliminate waste. 7 Water is also necessary for lactation support while breastfeeding.
With water, carbs, vitamin C, fiber, vitamins, antioxidants, and plant components. And wheat germ, this Super Smoothie can help enhance nutrient and liquid consumption. "Folic acid is abundant in wheat germ, which is helpful both before and during pregnancy," explains Leven.
It's critical to have enough folic acid during the first few weeks following conception to reduce the chance of brain and spinal cord birth abnormalities.
Furthermore, Some green leafy vegetables, most berries, nuts, legumes, and citrus fruits contain folic acid naturally.
Even though You can find it in meals, taking a folic acid supplement is critical to obtain the recommended amount regularly.

Context: I'm 78. 11.5 years ago at age 67, influenced primarily by Esselstyn's work along with an angiogram that showed a lot of stenosis, I declined a strongly-recommended double-bypass and went 100% WFPB. A couple of years ago I added salmon 3x/week for protein and Omega 3s. Later last year I added whey protein powder. I believe added protein is warranted by my age and that I do resistance exercise 3x/week to maintain functional strength. Now I'm considering adding non-fat unsweetened Greek yogurt.
Is there any good evidence that the animal products I'm now consuming or considering are or will be harmful to my health?

Hi friends!
So, I bought 4 oz. of “super makko” from the Incense Dragon. It is a nine ingredient blend of wood base/binder, spices/ingredients intended to enhance the scent, and a gum binder.
So far, it hasn’t been quite what I expected.
Basically, my quest the same. I am just trying to find a good base and a good binder for making masala sticks. Looking for a base that won’t crowd out the scent of the aromatics and a binder that also won’t interfere with the scent.
So far my experience with using tabu-no-ki alone resulted in sticks that wouldn’t bind (even though I read the tabu was supposed to act as both a base and a binder)
Then, I tried using tabu and Myrrh, but at first I over did it and nothing would burn, then next round all of my sticks wound up smelling a bit too much like Myrrh.
Now I’m onto this Super Makko blend, but the scent enhancers seem to be doing the opposite!
I’m considering now, a blend of tabu and Joss powder mixed with a gum binder. This blend is also from the incense dragon’s website, but I am imagining that without the “sent enhancers” that’ll be more of what I’m looking for.
Does anyone have any experience from working through a similar situation to mine? Any recommendations? And finally, any reviews of the “magic Mako blend” from the incense dragon that I’m considering trying?
As always, thank you SO MUCH, And I hope that everyone has a wonderful and fulfilling day, in And I hope that everyone has a wonderful and fulfilling day, that propels a wonderful and fulfilling life 🙌💚

[Backstory][Arc 1][[[Next>]]()
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Chapter 3: The Ambition
Bones clacked like gruesome castanets. Fleshless feet tramped flagstones slick with old blood, bits of rotted sinew sloughing off with each jerky step.
Thousands of skeletal soldiers stood in silent ranks, a forest of bleached spines and wind-scoured rib cages. Their empty eye sockets stared ahead, dark and pitiless as the void. Rusted scraps of armor clung to their desiccated frames, pitted swords and notched battle-axes gripped in bony hands.
The air stank of ancient death and the sour tang of dark sorcery, the reek hanging like a miasma over the assembled horde. No breath stirred those hollow chests, no hearts beat within those cage-like ribs - yet still they stood, poised and ready, an army of the restless dead awaiting their master's command with the patience of eternity. In their deathless stillness was a terrible promise of violence to come, a hunger for the wailing of the soon-to-be-slain that transcended mere life or mortality.
They were the War-Dead, Dark Legion, and their hour was fast approaching.
Gribble stalked before his Dark Legion. His eyes swept over the gathered dead. Row upon row of bony figures, some still clad in rusted scraps of armor. Notched blades and spear-hafts clutched in fleshless hands.
Gribble's lips skinned back from his teeth in a savage grin. With the dwarf kingdom he toppled, his legion swelled, Hundreds more added with the fall of the dwarf keep.
Hundreds were not enough. He needed thousands. Tens of thousands. An unending tide of bone and steel to crush all who stood against him.
Gribble's gaze caught on a handful of skeletons standing apart. Thicker-limbed than their fellows. Ropy strands of tendon and muscle still clinging to their frames.
He prowled closer. Something about the dense lattice of their bones. The way the grave-light smoldered in their empty sockets.
These had been strong in life, powerful. The sinew still threading their limbs spoke of their vitality only partially leeched by death.
Gribble ran a black nail along an exposed femur, tracing patterns in the dust and grave-soil. Perhaps a tenth, maybe less, of his legion carried such marks of power.
An elite cadre, standing tall among the fodder. But still too few.
Gribble paced. His mind raced. The dwarf cairns had yielded their treasures of flesh, but such pitiful stock couldn't feed his ambitions. He needed more. More bodies, more bones.
A memory niggled, a scrap map glimpsed in the dwarf king's chamber before blood painted the stone. Parchment dark with age and secrets.
Kingdoms scribed in fading ink. Man, beast, troll, goblin. Their borders drawn in spidery lies. All ripe for harvest, if he had but the scythe.
Gribble's feet beat a path across flagstones as his thoughts whirred. Those foreign lands with their teeming multitudes. Graveyards waiting to birth his soldiers.
But which to reap first? The arid wastes where troll-bones baked beneath ungentle suns? The shadowed bowers of the goblins, choked with leaves and treachery?
Or perhaps...the vaunted halls of men, with their gleaming marble and reeking hypocrisy. So many, men. Living their mayfly lives heedless of the dark. Practically inviting his cleansing fire...
But no. Not men. Not yet. Their time would come, but first an older hate must be quenched.
Cloven hooves and muzzles matted with grave-loam filled Gribble's thoughts. The beastmen. Furred abominations rutting in their filthy sties.
Strong, though. Fearsome. Their warriors' sinews ran red with valor and vigor.
What better fodder for his legion than those battle-hardened physiques? Those snarling muzzles and knotted arms gifted a second-life in his service?
Mind awhirl with visions of beastmen arrayed in ranks of bone and steel, Gribble turned once more to the map seared in memory.
Yes, there...scribed in mocking neatness upon fading parchment. But to reach it...
Gribble scowled, verdant face twisting. The Whispering Woods. That choked tangle of secrets and sorrow standing between him and his quarry.
Other warlords, paltry, mewling creatures, might balk at such a barrier. Turn aside in search of paths less perilous. But not Gribble.
No trees, no matter how old or fey, would deny him his destiny. What were wailing boughs and haunted groves to one such as he? Things to burn and break.
Resolve hardening as his Dark Legion looked on in silent vigil, Gribble schemed.
Magics could be woven, wards erected against the forest's seeping malevolence. Perhaps a levy of goblins, lashed and cowed, could be driven ahead to bear the brunt...
But no...no half-measures would suffice. Not here, not with so much at stake. This war would require a blade of singular sharpness.
He must turn the Whispering Woods' own power against it, suborn its nightshades and moss-choked pools to his will. Fight ancient sorcery with older blasphemies.
Long-moldered tomes and forbidden rituals surfaced from memory, rising through the charnel depths of Gribble's mind.
Lores scribed in blood and bile, etched upon pages of tanned flesh. Secrets pried from the screaming shade-forms of liches and arch-daemons. All could now be turned to his purpose.
Gribble smiled, a death's-head rictus. His skeletal minions shuffled in their ranks, as if tasting his black joy.
Yes...with such nightmares yoked to his banner, what chance did mere trees and flowers have? He would march beneath a canopy of screaming faces and tortured bodies, while unearthly fires licked at his heels.
And when the beastmen saw him come, riding upon a road of wailing wood and roiling shadow...ah, then the yielding of new soldiers would begin.
Gribble pictured the halls of the beastmen choked with harvestable forms. Fallen warriors, rent and tattered, piled high as cordwood for his arts.
Each shattered rib-cage another sword for his ranks. Each cracked skull a sightless new sentry for his battlements of bone.
And how fitting, to flay the skins and work them still bloody into new banners. Gribble's imagination soared, running rich with images of beast-leather fluttering in a fetid wind. The standards of his new army, forged from the flesh of fallen foes.
Why stop at banners? The beastmen's hides could be cured and hammered into armor, their hooves boiled down to make crude glues and ground to powder for alchemical tinctures...
Gribble trembled as dark bliss coursed through his veins like ichor, a pleasure both intellectual and visceral.
Every death would feed his Legion. Every new skeleton would in turn take its own harvest from the living. An unending cycle of slaughter and replenishment.
He saw his horde swelling with each victory, growing from thousands to hundreds of thousands. An endless sea of clattering bone, gleaming steel, and cold black fire.
All would fall before his pitiless onslaught. Beastman, troll, goblin, man. He would tear the flesh from their bones and scour the world clean.
The thrill of this vision coursed through Gribble, bringing with it a clarity colder than midwinter iron.
He knew now, with a certainty that blazed through his sinews, that taking the Beastmen Kingdom was no mere stepping stone to greater conquest.
It was a beginning, yes - the first pebble in an avalanche that would bury all the world beneath clattering bone. But it was also a pivot point, a moment when a petty necromancer playing with dead scraps would be transformed into something far greater.
A Dark King astride a nightmare. The Devouring Shadow. He Who Waits at the End of All.
The annihilation of the beastmen would elevate him from mere warlord to sovereign of death itself. Their still-warm corpses his coronation shroud, their shattered weapons his scepter and sword.
He would wade through their entrails to his final throne upon a mountain of skulls, and he would watch the world perish at his feet.
Gribble bellowed sudden, savage laughter to the vaulted sky, and his minions echoed with their own clacking, sepulchral madness.
The Beastman Kingdom would fall, and in its death throes give agonized birth to a new and terrible epoch.
An age of bone and ashes, with Gribble as its dark sovereign. All would be subsumed into the Eternal Necropolis of his nightmares, with not even distant memory left to whisper of when life and light held fleeting sway.
Only dead stars and withered stone would chronicle the march of his legions. And that, Gribble knew as his laughter twisted into a rictus of unholy joy, was the only legacy of true worth.
What need had an architect of oblivion for gaudy trappings of state? The screams of the dying would be his fanfares and the wails of the bereaved his accolades. All else was meaningless dust.
Drawing in a deep breath through flared nostrils, Gribble savored the iron and rot stink of his horde.
Their fetor was the incense of his ascendance, their blind obedience the only worship he craved. In them was the kernel of his dark design.
He paced once more through their ranks, letting fleshless fingers scrabble at his robes. Bone digits clattered against scavenged armor and notched swords. Silently pleading for the boon of his regard.
With each stride, Gribble felt himself grow in stature. General to King. King to Necromancer. Necromancer to Lich-God. All would fall before his glory, their blood and marrow mere mortar for the Black Cathedral of his reign.
The Whispering Woods with its petty tricks? The beastmen with their musk and primal savagery? Mere chaff before a holocaust.
The forest would blacken and curl into ash at his tread. The beastmen's vaunted strength would wither, their fur slough away to scabrous ruin.
Their souls would serve just as well as their bodies - chained eternally to his legion, serf-shades in his shadow demesne.
Gribble was destruction unchained, death ascendant. A blight upon creation, unfurling like a pustule-soaked banner above all things fair or foul.
All would stumble into his bony embrace in time, eyes clouded by putrefaction. Every grave would yawn wide to be glutted anew at his behest.
The dry ligaments of his own physique trembled exultant at the prospect. The moldering pulp in his skull throbbed with ambition's fever dream.
Soon...soon he would advance. The Whispering Woods were already as good as kindling for his pyres. The beastmen just offal for his abattoir.
Nothing could halt his inexorable tread. He was the Worm that Gnaws in the Night, the Last Sigh of a Dying Star. All would hear his tread and despair.
Gribble quelled the surge of black ecstasy in his desiccated sinews. He would need that fire banked for now, a coldly smoldering ember to stoke his minions to greater slaughter.
There was preparation yet to be done. Rituals to invoke, sacrifices to spill upon the clotted earth. He would need the very winds to scream his exultation and the trees to weep blood at his coming.
One last tour of his assembled forces, then, before he retired to his charnel sanctum.
Surveying his skeletal horde, Gribble nodded in grim satisfaction. They would serve. They would reap.
Those still joined by withered muscle would be his fists, hammering at the gates of the living until they cracked asunder. Those spare and bleached by long inhumation would be his scythes, culling chaff until only a bare stubble remained for the burning.
And he, Gribble, the Horned Necromancer, the Dark King, would be the single will animating that unholy flood. Guiding it over every sill and threshold until nothing remained un-drowned.
He would look upon a world of sepulchers and smile, alone and deathless in the ruin of his own design.
The wailing winds would keen the only threnody fit for his ascendance. The crunch of bone and the slip of worm-riddled flesh the only applause he required.
A universe of graves, a cosmos of rot. That was his only desire, and the beastmen of their paltry kingdom would be the next to feel his liberating caress.
Gribble spat once upon the ground and turned his back on his assembled forces. It was time to retire and prepare himself for the beautiful slaughter to come.
There was a Whispering Wood to blaze, a kingdom to crack asunder, and a black eternity of despair to birth.
Gribble, Lord of the Dark, was now poised to ascend. And all the world would sing a funeral dirge at his coming.

Grace and peace to all of you from our God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
I have a question about burning incense at home, and the different styles of incense. I have purchased a variety of sample sized packs from Legacy Icons as well as Ancient Faith. Some of them are powder coated while others are crystalized and looks like a rock.
Which is the best kind to use with a smokeless burner? I have been using aluminum foil over the screen and then placing the incense on that to prevent burning. I noticed that the white powder coated incense melts in a globule and the crystal rocks keep their form.
any tips?