I love being razor free! I have body hair that is very thick and course, and grows long. My pits are about as hairy as any unshaven man’s that I see. I find that I’m hairier than a lot of unshaven women that I meet. This has definitely made me insecure at different times and settings. I am most confident about it in winter, but in summer I am a bit more timid to really go 100% razor free. Hoping this summer is the year for me!
Anyone else feel like the hairiest hairy person they know?

After years of listening to ReddX, I've decided to throw my story out there for the internet cringe-connoisseurs to feast upon. Cast lists aren't necessary, TLDR is at the end. Let's just get this show on the road.
Tinder is hell. That hasn't stopped me from bludgeoning myself against the towering wall of losers that people swear Prince Charming is hiding among. I do realize that Tinder probably isn't the ideal place to find a real relationship, but I remain optimistic for a reason that I can't fully explain. Maybe it's just for a lack of anything better to do. Perhaps it's fear of dying alone. The people and experiences have ranged from lackluster to outright horrifying, and to start this series off... I will chronicle one of the deepest mental scars for the edu-tainment of any and all internet strangers. Given hindsight, the signs were all there... I should've bailed, but I tried to power through. And I came away with a true tale of terror.
It all started with the swipe, as these things often do. The profile was fairly non-descript as I recall. A bio that was clearly copy/pasted from Tinder and 3 or 4 photos that made it seem like he was someone who knew how to have some fun. He was smiling despite his teeth looking a bit worse for the wear. He was a bit chunky but seemed comfortable with himself. Those are both things that go a very long way for me. I didn't give the swipe very much thought beyond that, but we did match and he slid directly into the messages. His first message was a play on my first name. He said he wanted to wake up to the crack of Dawn or something like that. Not the first time I've heard it. Won't be the last. He might be a fuckboy, but maybe he was just taking a risk to break the ice... I wanted answers, so I decided to dig in and see what he was really all about.
He introduced himself as Dean. The conversation was largely uninteresting, until I mentioned that I'm a baker for work. This led into a long diatribe about how he was a trad alpha male that was looking for a woman who was worth the effort to take care of. He claimed that I'd be a great mother because of my ability to cook, and then went on to describe how cute our kids would look. I stopped responding and let him continue to spin his wheels for a while. He did continue on for much longer than would normally be socially acceptable, but I thought maybe he was just nervous. Eventually he caught the hint that I was starting to disengage completely. Honestly? I should've followed through with the ghosting. But he showed contrition and apologized, so I let the interaction continue.
He managed to keep his human-mask firmly affixed after the almost-ghosting. He was remarkably good at acting like a genuine person. We talked about our life and experiences for around a full month before deciding that we probably should meet up at some point. During that month he wasn't pushy or weird. Dean had taken the unspoken hint and remained on his best behavior. Once a possible date was agreed on, he jumped at the chance to take the lead in deciding where we were going, but then mentioned that he didn't have a car and needed to be picked up. I sighed. It may be that trad alpha males have better things to do than driving a car. They have people for that sort of thing. Barefoot, pregnant people. When he decides to let her out of the kitchen, that is. Obviously that's all hyperbole. I think.
So yes. I should've run. I know I should've run... but remember what I said about hindsight? Stupid me agreed to pick him up. I asked where we were going and he insisted that I was in for a surprise because we were headed to his favorite restaurant. I shrugged and decided to go with the flow. I spent a good few hours getting ready on the day of our date. I wasn't particularly eager to impress Dean, but it had been a little while since I was able to have a night out on the town and I decided to make the most of it. I showed up about 15 minutes early to the date, which is something that I do often. I take that time to decompress and relax and maybe even second-guess myself... Lord how I wish I would've second-guessed myself a little bit harder on this day.
The 15 minutes flies by, and I finally decided to roll up in front of the ramshackle house that he occupies. It looked like a flop-house. The yard was dead where it wasn't completely overgrown, the roof was missing more tiles than not, and there was a curious amount of children's toys strewn around. Dean hadn't mentioned any kids. Regardless of the red-flag parade that was marching before my eyes, I figured that I was already here. I might as well give the guy a chance. So I leaned on the horn to summon Dean. There was no response. Maybe I have the wrong house? Maybe I've been catfished? Maybe I should just go home? ...Yes, I should've just gone home. I didn't though. Instead, I got out of the car to go knock on the peeling paint of that front door, while saying a small prayer that I wasn't kidnapped and sold off into white slavery.
As I slowly crept up the cracked walkway, the weeds reached up from every crevice. They were trying to hold me back from that door, but I persisted in my quest for dating mediocrity. I could hear the screams of children inside. Were they the ghosts of the future I was dooming myself to? Feasibly. Regardless, I reached the door and knocked. A large Armenian woman answered the door. She was built like a refrigerator and about the hairiest woman you can imagine. She raised her upper lip in a sneer, her mustache bunching up enough to tickle the frontal cortex of any lesser being.
"Barev?" she grunted, a few decibels too loud. Our town has a large Armenian population, so I knew that meant hello.
"Hello ma'am. I'm looking for Dean. We're supposed to go on a date tonight." I meekly explained.
She grunted again, spun on her heels and bellowed something that I won't even try to decipher. Presumably she was calling Dean. I wasn't aware that he lived with his parents. As mama legbeard disappeared into the house, she had left the door open. I realized that a small crowd had gathered near the doorway. At least 5 dead-eyed children drinking a dark-colored liquid from bottles that they were clearly too old for were muttering amongst themselves. I waved a greeting but they only retreated further into the darkness of the hovel. I wasn't sure what to do at this point, so I closed the door and walked back to my car.
Part of me wanted to gun it down the street and make a break for it, seeking the comfort of my own relative normalcy... But I didn't. I sat and waited. I doomscrolled on my phone for around 30 minutes before debating if I should knock again. I didn't want to knock. So I leaned on the horn instead. I was giving him 5 more minutes. If he wasn't here at that point, I'd take myself out for a nice meal. That probably would've been the more enjoyable option anyways.
Five minutes passed, and I turned the key in the ignition. What a waste of time, what a bunch of bullshit. I shifted the car into gear, cranked the wheel to pull off of the sidewalk when suddenly... Dean flung the front door open and waddled toward my vehicle. I didn't feel any relief at this. He was at least 50 pounds heavier than he was in his Tinder photos. If it looked like he put any effort into actually getting ready, I might be more understanding about the situation, but it looked like this dude had just rocked up out of bed. It wasn't just his hair that was disheveled. He wore striped pajama pants, stained and threadbare My Hero Academia t-shirt, and the rattiest pair of slip-on Vans I've ever seen.
Again, should've hit the gas. Should've driven myself right into a telephone pole. Any EMT that came to pick me up would be a better alternative, even if our date was just to the emergency room. Instead I stared in shock as this pigman wandered towards my vehicle and let himself in. The car lurched to the passenger side as he plopped down, clearly out of breath from the short trip down his walkway. His heavy breathing carried distinct notes of halitosis, and that fetid breath only combined with the scent of unwashed rotting ballsack as the air he displaced from the seat started swimming around the car. I was speechless. This was not the date that I had signed up for. My stare continued as Dean began his rambling introduction.
"Hey Dawn! Sorry to make you wait. I had a pretty crazy night last night with my gaming crew. I set an alarm for our date, but I usually don't wake up until my mom starts yelling at me. It's good to make a woman wait anyways. They do it to us, so why shouldn't guys do it right back?" he chortled.
Words were still unable to escape my lips. Instead, the only sound that came out was similar to that girl from The Grudge. Seeing that I wasn't going to engage with that, Dean shifted topics.
"Oh, my bad. I probably shouldn't reveal all of my dating secrets. Tonight I will reveal a big one to you though..." he paused pointedly, and I shifted my eyes to stare at the steering wheel instead. He continued "The big secret is the place I take all the girls on our first date. It's my favorite seafood restaurant!"
I didn't really want to eat seafood. I didn't really want to be seen with Dean or even to continue existing near him in any capacity... But sometimes the social contract twists your arm about this kind of thing, particularly if you're a woman who was raised to behave a certain way. All I had to say was "Get the hell out of my car, you absolute wreck of a human being." It could've all been over if I said that. But I didn't. Instead I asked him to put on his seatbelt. He whined, saying that seatbelts were "for little beta bitches." But I refused to be ticketed over an ego so fragile that a seatbelt could bruise it. I told him he could buckle it or get out. Unfortunately, he did decide to buckle up... And the cringe-train rolled onward.
Dean barked out instructions while regaling me with all types of insider knowledge about "what women actually want, and how they don't know what they want, and how it takes a strong man to lead them to water and force them to drink. For their own good, you see?" All I could manage was a series of disinterested "oh" and "okay" and "jesus christ". He did not get the hint. I wanted to just melt away. Why was I in this situation? Why was I letting it continue? How could someone seem so normal and even perceptive online and then reveal themselves as a complete mess in person
I should've questioned him but didn't have much to add to his monologue, since my own inner-thoughts were spiraling out of control... and I couldn't get a word in edgewise anyways. Maybe he could turn it around and we'd have a nice conversation when we got to the restaurant. He's probably just looking for someone to help him become the best version of himself. If this didn't go well, I told myself a thousand times that I'd never find myself in another situation like this again... Isn't it funny how we lie to ourselves?
Anyways, eventually Dean screeched for me to stop and find a place to park. I complied. I didn't have the energy to argue. It might be because of the lack of oxygen. Throughout this 10 minute trip my car had become inundated with Dean's stench. Imagine rotten sour cream wrapped in a piece of moldy Havarti cheese, sprinkled with sweat from a mountain troll. Little did I know, that wasn't the worst of the night though. Not by a long shot.
Finally snapping out of my daze, I looked around to see the secret seafood restaurant that had only been talked about in hushed whispers. I'll give you a moment to guess for yourself what the place was. Not some well-kept secret as he had implied. It wasn't a quaint hole-in-the-wall, it wasn't even a Red fucking Lobster. We had just pulled up into the parking lot... of a Long John Silver's. Have you ever been to a Long John Silver's? Maybe. Have you ever been to a Long John Silver's by choice? Ew. It's fastfood seafood and it is just... The worst "food" that you could possibly put into your mouth. This can't be real life. We have just lost cabin pressure. We are headed directly into freefall. Finally I found my voice. "What the fuck is this?"
Dean unabashedly said "Long John Silver's, duh. It's the best seafood in town by a long shot, the pricing is also pretty good so you can eat as much as you want." He continued barreling through, extolling the virtues of Long John Silver's as I reluctantly followed him inside. He didn't bother holding the door open. It isn't necessary, but it can be a nice gesture. Instead he bounced up to the counter and started rattling off his order to the worker drone stationed at the register. It was a long order. He ordered enough to feed 5 or 6 people. I thought maybe he was ordering for both of us, until he turned and asked "Did you want anything?" I choked out a number representing one of their combo meals, and tried to hand him $10.
He made a great show of refusing the ten dollars, proclaiming that a lady should never have to pay for her own meal. The worker drone stared on, looking about as vacant as I felt. I think Dean expected the restaurant to start clapping at his chivalrous gesture. Instead the drone went back to scrolling on his phone, and I found a place to sit. When Dean flopped into the seat next to me, I asked if he could please sit across from me instead. He ignored that request, extending a flabby arm across my shoulders, rubbing his putrid armpit on the shoulder of a blouse that I really liked, but later had to burn...
"It's a first date. We should get close, y'know. Get to know each other?" he drawled.
"Go and sit over there Dean, or I'm leaving." I finally insisted. "I have no idea how the date got this far. You don't even look like your picture!"
His ego was hurt now. He rambled on about how "the picture was actually him, he just Photoshopped it a little, and girls do it too. Why do these bitches on dating apps have to be so shallow? Probably just looking for a Chad to take them home and rearrange their guts. Women should be submissive and that means not being choosy. They should feel honored that any man would deign to take them on as a responsibility."
Eventually, all I heard was a high-pitched whining in my ears as I had a Vietnam flashback to all the niceguys and neckbeards that I had run across in high-school. It was the same speech they all seem to end up giving, verbatim. I sat with my head in my hands and he didn't stop this auditory assault until our number was called. He fetched his food, came back to the table, made another trip, and then a third... Until finally he flopped down across from me and said "Yours is still up there, if you want it."
I was ready to boil. "I don't want it Dean. I wanted to have a nice date, but instead I ended up at a fucking Long John Silver's with a big FAT fucking catfish." I expected him to come right back at me with all the rage and fury of an incel scorned, but instead he just walked up to the counter. Brought the tray back, and began to ravage the meal that I had ordered. It sounded like rhinoceros crap being sucked down a bathtub plug hole that had been severely clogged with pubic hair that had been matted together by decades of cum spent on myriad anime waifus. I covered my ears. I fumed. I wanted to cry, but I would not allow this creature to break my will.
I hadn't said more than 20 words during this entire date, and I wasn't about to start talking now. Besides, Dean seemed perfectly happy to just hoover up every speck of greasy fried seafood in relative silence. All I could do was sit and glare. My stare had turned into a glare, and there is a subtle difference... But I don't think Dean was equipped enough to detect that shift. For minutes on end I simply watched the spectacle unfolding before me. He chomped and glorped and gobbled until he had decimated everything that lay before him. Then he sat back and unbuckled his belt while patting his engorged stomach. Disgusting.
"Seems like you really enjoyed that." I said sarcastically as I got up and started heading to the car. He jiggled after me outside like a very overfed and very stupid puppy. Again, I said nothing. I got in and started the car. Right as I was going to peel out and let him walk off that greasy feast he had consumed, Dean wrenched the door open and buttslammed into the seat. As he did, he let out a rather large fart and started giggling like a child. "Good thing I didn't let that one rip in the restaurant!" he chuckled. I was not amused. Yeah. Just let it rip in my fucking car instead you abomination. My patience had been stretched to its breaking point, but I didn't say so. I was simply ready to get this dumpster fire over with. Surely the worst of our interaction was over now, right? We could just part ways and never speak again, right? I never expected that my poor car would be left with one more souvenir that fateful night. Something far more disgusting than Dean's stench.
We pulled out and bounced down the road. The windows were promptly rolled down, which I suppose Dean took as an invitation to continue his butt-orchestra. He'd fart and laugh every couple of minutes. I can't begin to fathom the reason. Either he's given up like I have, or he's trying to rebuild bridges in the worst way possible... Either way, I sped down the streets. Freedom was calling my name and I wanted to get this guy out of my car so I could disinfect, sanitize, deodorize, and cleanse not just my car... But myself as well.
We were in the home stretch. Another minute or two and we'd be rid of each other. Then I noticed that Dean had gotten very quiet. His face turning a strange shade of green. I thought he was going to throw up, but it was even worse than that. As we headed down his street, I hit a speedbump. The jolt must have stirred something in Dean, because he let out another fart... This one sounded different than the others however... It was low and wet. It sounded like a choked blast from a tuba that had been stuffed to the brim with congealed mayonnaise.
Dean did not chuckle like before. Instead, his face shifted from green to a blushing red. I slowly looked over at him and the smell hit me. Rancid greasy sick people poop. The kind of poop that comes out of a sick and dying person right before they kick the bucket... My eyes widened as realization dawned on me. I started to scream all of the frustration that had built up over the night right into Dean's stupid fat face. What I said wasn't really words, it was pure emotion. A screech of incredulity, pain, confusion, and of course the disappointment that I'm sure his mother felt every single day of her life.
We were still down the street from his house. Maybe another 50 yards away... But instead I mashed the brakes and continued slamming him with a nonsensical torrent of emotion. Dean wasn't going to sit around for that. He fumbled with the door, let himself out of the car, leaned back in to tell me he had a lovely time before I gave him one more resounding, hate-fueled "FUCK OFF!" And so he did. I watched him waddle his way back home, the greasy brown stain on the back of his pants only growing with each step. I looked down at the passenger seat. It would never be the same again. I hate to go into any more disgusting detail, but suffice it to say... There was splashback. The diarrhea fountain had stained not just the bucket, but it had spurted up the back of the seat as well.
I cried. Sitting there in that disgusting car, I had a long ugly cry with the windows still fully down. I considered approaching Dean's mother for money to get my car reupholstered, but given the state of the house? I'm not sure she had much to give on behalf of her son, even if by some miracle she was willing to do so... No. This was my problem to deal with now. I finished crying. I drove home. I spent weeks having to stare at that stain, but eventually I was able to buy a completely "new" seat from the junkyard. No more ghost-Dean sitting passenger and laughing at his own honking asshole.
I'm still amazed at how this specimen managed to lure me into a date. While I was far too passive, I'm going to mark that down as inexperience. I'd be much more bold in the future. I did tell myself that I'd never get on Tinder again after this experience. It's by far the worst interaction that I've had with another human being. Ever. But eventually the allure of online dating called me back, and I do have even more stories to tell... But those are tales for another day... Thanks to ReddX if he reads this. Please subscribe to him on YouTube if ya haven't. I'll see you again next time my little Tinderlings.
-Dawn
TL;DR After a terrible date, trad alpha male Tinder guy pooped in my car.

As the man shamed by Tyler for mocking his height with a very truthful "10 quick facts about Tyler Scheid," I felt obligated to clear my name by providing ENDLESS content for Marks Baby ears.
Here is a large list of strange sports for Tyler (or Baby Mark) to peruse:

• Alternative Games — 35 unusual sports in one event.
• Apple Race — where else but on the apple isle of Tasmania.
• Baby Olympics — (Mark will love this one!) a competition for children aged between two and four years, competing in athletics, gymnastics, football, basketball and weightlifting.
• Ba Game — a version of Medieval Football played in Scotland, a type of Mob Football where two parts of a town have to get a ball to their respective sides.
• Ban'ei — a Japanese horse race which requires a draft horse to pull a weighted sled through sand.
• Bathtubbing — going for a paddle in a bath
• Botaoshi — a tough and crazy game like capture the flag played in Japan.
• Beard & Moustache Championships — nice facial hair
• Bed Racing — racing in your sleep.
• Beer Mile — 4 drink mile
• Beer Can Regatta — recycling empties.
• Beer Crate Running (Kastenlauf) - carry your own refreshments
• Beer Pong — combining drinking and ping pong
• Beer Sculling — get it down fast.
• Birdman Rallies — taking to the sky.
• Black Pudding Throwing — competitors throw lumps of black pudding at Yorkshire puddings piled atop a platform
• Bog Snorkeling — fancy some bog diving?
• Bottle Kicking — teams try to move a small keg containing ale across fields to streams which are located one mile apart, moving it by any means possible.
• Calcio Fiorentino — an early form of football which was developed in 16th century Italy.
• Camel Jumping — the objective of the sport is to clean jump a group of camels that are stacked together horizontally.
• Camel Wrestling — two male camels up against each other.
• Cane Toad Racing — jump to it.
• Canine Freestyle Dancing — doggy dancing.
• Car Curling — just like Olympic curling, but with cars.
• Cheese Rolling — get yourself and the cheese to the bottom of a hill.
• Chicken Fight — piggyback fighting in the water
• Clog Cobbing — throwing a clog.
• Coal Carrying Championship — only for those with a strong back.
• Cockroach Racing — right there till the end
• Conker Smashing — you have to be a nut.
• Cornish Hurling — a variation of Mob Football played in Cornwall England using a silver ball.
• Cotswold Olimpicks — a long running ancient games event
• Cow Racing — moo too.
• Crawling Races — how fast can a baby crawl?
• Dog Surfing — dogs are trained to surf on surfboards
• Duck Race — thousands of rubber duckies in the river.
• Dunny Derby — another meaning of the runs.
• Dwarf throwing — why so grumpy?
• Egg and Spoon Race — carry an egg on the spoon and cross the finish line as fast as possible
• Egg Rolling — an Easter tradition where children push an egg through the grass with a long-handled spoon.
• Elephant Soccer — riders on the back of elephants dirrect them to play football/soccer.
• Eton Wall Game — a bit like rugby union, the objective of the sport is to move the ball along a curved brick wall towards the opposing team's goal.
• Extreme Ironing — who said ironing is difficult?
• Faceball — the objective is to simply throw an inflated ball at any part of the opponents head.
• Ferret Legging — place a ferret down your pants for as long as possible
• Finger Jousting — try and poke your opponent
• Finger Wrestling — two men sit and face each other over a table and thread their fingers into a leather band
• Fireball Soccer — football with a ball on fire
• Goanna Pulling — a version of tug-of-war.
• Goose Pulling — involves ripping the head off a goose
• Gurning Contest — pull a face and win.
• Haggis Hurling — throwing a haggis as far as possible for distance and accuracy
• Hamster Racing — rodent races in miniature vehicles
• Hairiest Back — who has the most hair on their back.
• Haxey Hood — a kind of rugby game that allows unlimited players and a few rules
• Hemp Olympics — oh man!
• Henley on Todd Regatta — where did the water go?
• Hide and Seek — classic children's game in sport mode.
• Hoover Ball — a version of volleyball invented by President Herbert Hoover's personal White House physician.
• Hop Pocket Races — races carrying a hop pocket, a large sack into which the dried Hop flowers are compressed and stored prior to being used to brew beer.
• Horseback Boxing — competitors fight each other while riding on the back of a horse.
• Hot Dog Eating Championships — eat as much as you can, as fast as you can. Don't try this at home.
• Jaffa Race — racing jaffa lollies down the world's steepest street.
• Jolleyball — a combination of volleyball and juggling
• Juggling Triathlon — as it says, the sport is a combination of juggling and triathlon.
• JumpRopeSprint — involves sprinting while jumping rope once per stride
• Kaninhop — rabbit show jumping
• Kibasen ("Cavalry Battle") — a type of piggyback riding sport that is played in Japan by school children during their annual sports day.
• Kissing Competitions — unusual events such as underwater and basketball kissing
• Land Diving — dry land bungy jumping.
• Lingerie Football — American Football played by women wearing lingerie as uniforms
• Lizard Racing Championships — flat out like a lizard.
• Makepung — racing buffalo competition from Bali.
• Man vs. Horse Marathon — runners and horse riders compete against each other
• Memory Sports — remember to try this
• Marbles — don't lose your marbles
• Milk Carton Regatta — have you had your milk today?
• Mini-Golf Billiards — a pool cue is used to hit the ball instead of a golf putter, and the mini-golf hole is on a table top.
• Monster Truck Rallies — big wheels to get excited about
• Moonrock Throwing — they go further on the moon
• Mr Ugly — Who is the ugliest person in Zimbabwe?
• Mud Olympics — a range of sports for getting down and dirty - faster, higher and muddier!
• Mud Wrestling — a women only wrestling sport, in mud while wearing only bikinis.
• Naked Rugby — nude rugby international matches have been played in the cold south of New Zealand.
• Nude Beach Olympics — held at the nudist section of Baker Beach San Francisco
• Nude Olympics #1 — following the tradition of the ancient Games (Maslin Beach, SA).
• Nude Olympics #2 — held in Queensland (then NSW), Australia.
• Nude Sports — footloose and free, here a collection of sports played in the nude.
• Orange Races — racing oranges down a hill.
• Ostrich Racing — riding ostriches
• Outhouse Racing — teams create their own outhouses and race them down the main street
• Paper-Scissors-Rock World Championships
• Pea Shooting — food fight
• Pie Eating Contest — changes in gluttony
• Pig Racing and Diving — pigs really can fly.
• Pillow Fighting — a real-life semi-professional women-only sporting event.
• Polish Dragon Boat Racing — teams sit facing each other in a dragon boats and attempt to paddle toward each other.
• Pooh Sticks Championship — not so sticky game played by Pooh Bear.
• Raft Racing — racing on the water in rafts
• Real Ale Wobble and Ramble — the best way to enjoy a ride or walk - inebriated
• Redneck Games — southern alternative to the Olympics including a host of unusual sports.
• Redneck Skeet — a fun shooting sport in which beer cans are used as targets
• Royal Shrovetide Football — all the village involved in this rugby type game.
• Rossall Hockey — a unique form of hockey that is played only at Rossall School in England, combining elements of hockey and rugby. Think about it - rugby with sticks!
• Running with the Bulls — mix it up with the bulls in Pamplona in Spain.
• Running of the Nudes — alternative to the Pamplona bull run.
• Running of the Reindeer — people run down a four-block downtown street in Alaska with a group of reindeer released behind them.
• Rural Games — New Zealand event comprising a large range of unusual sports and games.
• Sack Races — participants race with both of their legs inside a sack or pillowcase.
• Scotland Island 500 — Sydney's annual aquatic dog race
• Scottish Highland Games — a traditional Scottish sporting event
• Sheep Counting — puts you to sleep
• Sheep Races — catch me if you can.
• Shin Kicking — kicking battle.
• Skipping Stones — the most skips or longest distance
• Snail Races — exciting races with snails.
• Snow Blower Race — competitors push a snow blower through a 20-meter long snow heap.
• Sporthocking — extreme stool tricks
• Stinging Nettle Challenge — why would you eat something with the word 'stinging' in it?
• Straw Race — carrying bales of straw
• Tar Barrels — running on fire.
• Three-Legged Races — a children's competition conducted in pairs, in which a leg from each competitor is tied to their partner.
• Three Sided Football — a variation of football in which three teams played instead of just two teams.
• Thumb Wresting — two players use their thumbs to simulate fighting
• Toe Wrestling — battle of the big toes.
• Tombstoning — an extreme daredevil kind of an activity that involves diving into the sea from cliffs.
• Tough Mudder — you need to be tough in this adventure obstacle race.
• Tuk Tuk Polo — a variation of polo, in which players are on vehicles called tuk tuks.
• Tuna Toss — hurling the fish in Port Lincoln, South Australia
• Two-Handed Tennis — a variation of the popular game, a racket in each hand.
• Ultimate Tazer Ball — involves players carrying a real taser gun and using it on opponents to gain possession of the ball.
• Underwater Cycling — s a sport that involves riding a bicycle under water.
• Unicycle Football — a variation of American football in which players move around the field using a unicycle
• Uppies and Downies — a version of Medieval Football played in Workington in West Cumbria, with about 1000 players on each team who attempt to get the ball to the opposing team's goal.
• Vertical Soccer — played on the side of a billboard painted to resemble a miniature football field
• Volcano Surfing — athletes ride downhill on slopes that are covered with volcano ash using a surfboard.
• Wheel Barrow Races — two players race with one teammate playing the role of the driver, and the other playing the role of the wheelbarrow.
• Wheel Barrow Olympics — an international sports event organized annually in Hungary.
• Wife Carrying Festival — carrying your wife, all for the prize of beer.
• Woolsack Races — carrying sacks of wool up and down a hill
• Worm Charming — bring as many worms to the surface as you can
• Yabbie Races — an Australian tradition racing crustaceans.
• Zorb Ball — rolling down the hill in an inflatable ball.

FEEL FREE TO ADD MORE SPORTS IN THE COMMENTS! And as always, J'accuse Tyler or Mark in any way seen fit.

Sacramento, CA
Goals
C <1:03
B 1:02:30
A <1:02
A+ 1:01:15
A++ <1:01
Splits
6:01
6:05
6:03
6:15
6:06
6:06
6:09
6:02
6:13
6:13
Training
For my 14 week training/base block I used a modified Norwegian system with a Nordic twist. Averaged 9.2 hours of aerobic work a week, 45 miles running (5 or 6 days a week) at 5300 to 7500 feet elevation, and cross country skiing another 21 miles (35 km) with the skiing (1-3 days a week) at elevations of 8500-10000 feet. This is the most skiing I had done since 2015 and jumped into several races, so it was good to mix that in.
For the first six or seven weeks I did a double threshold day every week and on five of those weekends did a ski race (7.5 to 32 km). The threshold workouts started with 5 or 6 minutes at current estimated marathon pace (low 7s), usually progressing toward actual threshold pace. The afternoon session were hill reps of 1.5 to 2.5 minutes at a faster effort, 10K to CV, and I would jog down equal time for recovery. Those were really hard this year (I did double-doubles, mostly running last year), and consistent snow, cold, and wind on those days didn’t make it easier.
After that period I shifted more to weekly threshold/progression work one day, and a progression from 10K to 5K repetitions on another day, plus a long ski or run on the weekend (1.5 to 2.5 hours). I raced one 5K, an 18:24 on a rolling course in Atlanta at the end of February. On paper, I think 1:02:30 was about what to expect, but I knew the course in Sacramento was fast and over the last couple weeks some of my reps started to creep down so I thought something in the 1:01s wasn’t unreasonable. I did a one week light cutback, with one easy ski of 90 minutes and 34 miles of running in 5 days, one day of rest.
Pre-Race
Traveled to Sacramento the day before, on an early flight that really messed up with my sleep. So that was a bit of ding. But I did get an hour nap after a short shakeout run. Slept okay the night before, getting maybe 6 hours of actual sleep. Did a short 15 minute warm up, on a cool breezy morning. Mid 40s and a stiff breeze from the south. So it would affect us more on the first half of the race, which was primarily an out and back along the Sacramento River, with a couple ~1 mile city loops for miles 1 and 10. My ideal plan was to go out cautiously, 6:15 and then wind it up to low 6s over the final miles.
Race
I lined up in about the 5th row. And we were off, but double clicked my watch so it stopped at the starting mat and I didn’t notice it until the first turn on the next block, so it was off about 30-40 seconds. I got swallowed up pretty quickly, but at about a quarter mile in I could see a number of runners I knew a ways ahead and pulling away so I worked up a bit. Coming from altitude to sea level without an adjustment period is always a mild shock, legs are going faster, breathing harder, and you just feel off. I have learned that you can push through that because you don’t go under as quickly. As a result I was running faster than comfortable but it also felt sustainable.
Things strung out by the end of the second mile as we crossed the bridge and headed south into the wind. The next group was pretty far up already so I settled into a pack of five or six other runners, a mix of masters and open men and younger women, going about 6:05 pace. With the headwind I mostly tucked int. Mile 3-4 was the hairiest because they narrowed the course two narrow lanes the out and back, and our pack congealed into 15 or so runners navigating a 6-foot wide section of road way, so it felt almost like track. But with some potholes you had to be wary. No one fell but there were a few close moments and a bit of bumping.
Back on the open road we opened up and I got to front of the group, trying not lead much but staying out of the way from feet and elbows. Hit the 5.4 mile turn around at 6:05 pace and was hoping to pick it up with the tail wind. However, my body said otherwise. I felt okay through 7 to 7.5 miles, and then it became a lot of work to maintain. A couple of the runners from that big group caught up and set the pace and I hung on through 8 or so, and fell back a bit more. One young guy encouraged me and I kept him in contact for another half mile but he pulled away.
Even with the tail wind my 9th mile was a 6:13 (but did have a couple rollers). We had to turn back into the wind for about a half mile but I kept the effort going. Turn onto the bridge and toward the state capitol building, a half mile from the finish I think one guy caught me but I held him off, and the group I had been running with/chasing in the middle part pulled away some. So I didn’t get those low 6s I was hoping for, but held on okay. Came through at an A+ goal time! I was pretty thrilled. Won my age group by several minutes, and ended up third overall in age grade rankings (and there is prize money for that at these events), so got some extra bling and chaching! Our age group team placed second so that was great as well.
Post-race
Had a good time rehashing the race with friend. I have been doing the master circuit for five or six years now and know a lot of the competitors across the different age group. So we’re rivals on the course but once the race is done there is a lot of camaraderie. Took the train west in the afternoon to the Bay Area to visit family.
A little post hoc for running nerds like me.
I’ve used a wrist monitor for HR for the past several years but that’s sometimes not that accurate, so I got a chest monitor the other month and this was my first running race in a while using a chest monitor, and I got some decent data. Started out in the 140s (low threshold range for me) for the first 2 miles, then low 150s through about 6 miles then it crept up to 155-158 the rest of the way (spiking in the low 160s here and there). 155 is at 92% so I was maxing there, and that’s why I slowed down at the end. Just couldn’t sustain that, but at least I didn’t blow up. Cadence was fast (for me) over the first mile at 178, then settled into the mid-low 170s, while my stride length stayed about the same. I think with that headwind, I did the right thing to up it a bit to keep up with that group in the first half, otherwise I might have been fighting the wind and/or running a slower pace with another group. But who knows! No do overs. It was all good.

"To you!" - Redd, Season 12
"I'm in the same house as the chin" - Redd, Season 13
"You keep shaking your shoulders and hoping your ass move" - Asia, Season 15
"Bitch, I'm good! I'm Persian!" - Tasha, Season 7
"I'm the OG, get to know me" - Angela, Season 15
"Don't nobody wanna hear that crying shit!" - Valentina, Season 10
"Kandyce is obsessed with me, I'm talking Single White Female obsessed, probably has a shrine of me in her bathroom that she masturbates to every day" - Winter, Season 16
"Even with a broken finger I'll fucking drag you" - Winter, Season 16
"Welcome to Kandyland bitch" - Kandy, Season 16
"If I get any calmer I'm gonna be levitating" - Shannon, Season 10
"Your stomach hurts? Which one?" - Britt, Season 12
"Not the cupcakes, NOT THE CUPCAKES" - Jasmine, Season 14
"Couldn't open the door, scared" - Jenna, Season 14
"Dolphins are rapists, this is a fact" - Julie, Season 9
"Bitch I don't like you" - Julie, Season 9
"I am asleep peacefully in my bed, dreaming sweet dreams of slapping hoes in this house, and I am awoken by that beautiful sound that I love...yelling and fighting!" - Julie, Season 9
"This house has turned into Lesbian Lord of the Flies - who is gonna eat who next!" - Julie, Season 9
(Thinking about if all three girls' names started with a 'K,' completely oblivious) "KKK!" - Kayleigh, Season 5
"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT DOES TO MEEEE" - Danielle, Season 5
"I got your weave bitch!" - Kayleigh, Season 5
"All of the girls are ignoring me but this one, so I'm thinking okay you are a weak one" - Kayleigh, Season 5
(Trying to deepen her voice) "I'M GABI" - Gabi, Season 8
"Gabi this is mustard, what do you want me to do, cursive?" - Dani, Season 8
"Dani they took our macaroni and cheese" - Gabi, Season 8
"Are we done? Cause I got chipotle I need to eat it" - Gabi, Season 8
"You wear bedsheets for clothes, you scallywag" - Shannon, Season 10
"You got the worst hairiest legs ever BITCH" - Rima, Season 9
"I am not a lesbian...do I think women are beautiful? Yes. Will I fuck one every once in a while? Yes! But I don't like them that way!" - Lea, Season 5

so, after i left that little timeshare, got fired for turning in the office manager for stealing. that's why i got fired. and, quite typically i don't even care about that kinda shit, but this bitch liked to run her mouth about me on my days off to management with accusations made of nonsense. so, every monday i came in to an ambush over what she'd said i'd done.
well. that bitch was flat out stealing, so i gathered up reports and highlighted the thefts. so, they fired me for being vindictive. i didn't pay attention to her or i would have realized she was just sucking dick to keep that job. but, yeah.
and, i don't care if you want to whore your way into a job, but don't be telling people who actually know how to do the work how to. you know. this bitch trying to tell me how to do shit i'd done been doing for 20 fucking years by the time i met her, with her zero relevant experience self.
anyway, after that she ran that dick sucker all over town and no one would hire me. could not find a fucking job. told people i just walked out and left the office open and didn't tell anyone and left them without telling them i was going and no one to cover. that i was the one stealing. all kinds of stuff.
a marketing reps told me what she'd said to them. but, that was enough to prevent me working.
so, then i ended up delivering pizza in pf. which i fucking hated. but, the money wasn't bad at all. it was a shit load of work, though. and, also, this allowed me freer movement about town and people started like, ordering pizza and trying to get me. to talk to me. people, you know.
at that time i was still living in my little unibomber cabin, which i loved. i love living in a secluded cabin in the woods. but, i'd also noticed the stalking. and, mark's not the only one. so, i wasn't quite happy with that. you know. it had became clear that he, along with the others that he works with on the board. that's what they call themselves
the board.
and, during the time i first started communicating with him, he had promised me something if i'd do this thing. help him in the case of malfeasance he was building against others on the board. and, i did. but, it didn't really do me any good to do that. you know. i mean, that helped him out, but did exactly fucking dick for me.
and, then i did turn on him. used the same lines of communication to express my displeasure over him, which he played off as my overreaction to him rejecting me. which isn't really what happened. i did talk to him online. a lot, and pointed him the direction of where to find evidence of the malfeasance and cleared up what the "job" was that these people actually did, why those checks were written and what they did for the money.
i mean, criminality 101 - don't cut business checks for your illegal activities. and, the checks that were written to people who carried out these malicious activities against me. like, meddling in my life type stuff. got me fired. pretended to be my friend and put me in a precarious situation. checks to old landlords who'd allowed them into my home without my permission to, idk. but, they'd paid my old landlords or maintenance peoples to be allowed access to my home while i wasn't there and i absolutely did not give permission for this to happen. just stuff like that.
oh, that guy. that was a murder for hire. he didn't kill me though. um. i started out and when i turned the corner in my neighborhood my car was driving real funny and i pulled over to see what was wrong and all the lug nuts were loosened up on my car, like one fell in the road they were so loose. well, i just got my tire iron out and tightened em back up.
but, when i got down to the bottom of the hill, that guy was sitting there in his car, kinda parked next to the river. i knew him. i waved to him as i drove by. he's dead now. he was real sick then, about to die and took the money and agreed to do it i guess so his wife could afford to bury him, but, you know.
that's what that check was for.
that was 2007ish, maybe 08. and, then. what they're now saying. how they know me, that i'm a stalker of them, well. honey, my internet searches have never once included your name. never. none of my interactions with you have ever been initiated by me.
so, what you're saying about me, clearly applies to you and your actions.
that's why i'm that way. i'm methodical in my actions that i don't give you anything you could misconstrue to your favor. i've never once looked you up on social media. i've never googled your name. i don't go looking for you. i don't do anything at all but tell the truth about what you've done to me.
ok, so the ten.
it became obvious to me that i was being surveilled by these people. the board. now, that landlord that we had when i was at the furniture store didn't want nothing to do with your bullshit. wouldn't let you in, and the bug man wouldn't do it either. some people still have morals and just will fucking not. that's why there's a check written to that hooker. that's what they paid the hooker for. to work her way into my house and plant these devices.
after that, she never showed up to work again and according to her facebook she was on a cross country road trip, then when she ran out of money she posted that backpage ad for herself on her public facebook profile. that's when i deleted and blocked her from facebook. to cut any sort of what could be perceived to be a willing connection to that person.
and, i want to be real clear here. when i realized this unauthorized surveillance of me was going on at the hands of them, i started talking back. that's who i was telling the truth to. no one, no one but the walls of my house. i'm very careful with my words and what i say and who i say it to. but, in the privacy of my own home that i provide for myself without aid or benefit from the board, i say whatever the fuck. and, name your real fucking names.
but, this is a public forum, so i'm intentionally vague about who you are and why you're doing this.
but, yeah. i got mad. i was real mad. paid off the maintenance man there and then later used a shelter corp to buy the apt building out. then, raised my rent by an absolutely obnoxious amount. that was something they'd done on two other separate occasions. buy or have a proxy buy my rental and force me out.
then, claim that i was clearly unstable as i was unable to provide proper housing for myself. that's what they do, manipulate a situation around me to make me appear to be unstable.
and, this is my connection to those people. this is how i know her. i have only just met the one of them, not her whole family, it's all of them in on it, but i only know the one girl. well, i don't know her. but, i've met her and this is how.
work. i was working as an off premis contact for a timeshare company. way back in 01. this was before heavy internet usage and at one point, the beanie baby two that came to my last work trying to force me to sign three checks made out to me, in my name, and give them back to them for an "investment" and then some legal documents. i refused both.
why the fuck would i sign three checks made out to me to you. oh, for the investment. well, these bitches forged my signature and spent that money on beanie babies. as an investment. they also came to my work in 2001 at that other different job wanting me to sign a bank signature card and put my thumbprint on it. roughly a year after the beanie baby incident.
i did it. i signed it with my real signature and put my thumbprint on it. they had one of those little to go ink stampers from the bank and it was one of those bank signature cards that they use for you to open up an account. i knew they were being investigated for the check forging, and i mean, why wouldn't i give evidence that shows you to be guilty of a crime.
they were having to do that to keep their board seats. well, prove heather really signed those checks. the younger of those women had a big fit at my work, in front of a coworker because i wouldn't sign my name the way she showed me to. like, tried to tell me how to sign my name and then got mad that i didn't do it like her. like how she showed me
she was trying to backwards forge my signature. get me to sign my name like how she signs my name. i didn't go along with that. so, after that, they were fired, i guess. dismissed. whatever. idk, and then new members are trying to get on. and, this is the next bitch.
so, after that i started dating this too young for me guy and he was in a band, and then he met this guy who turned out to be hueser, and then hueser introduced him to this girl who he got a job at our job. that's how i know her, she very briefly worked with me at an timeshare marketing company.
that bitch from that story about parking up on the sidewalk and expecting me to fucking work for her. some self entitled privileged, hairy ass feet having hobbit bitch. like, she was wearing shoes when she got there, but took them off to sit in a chair and not do any work. you know, sitting in the chair, with her legs pulled up and feet on the edge of the seat.
hairiest fucking girl feet i've ever fucking seen. she got these fucking hobbit feet. i remember looking down at them and thinking, why the fuck would you even go through the expense and trouble of a pedi and then not do something about all that hair. fucking weirdo.
i mean, i'll all for not shaving, but she wasn't that kinda girl. she was like one of those only looks matter kind and to overlook something so ... idk, it was weird. i mean, seemed super out of character for her feet to be so hairy.
as, it turns out, you have to grow hair out to a certain length for them to laser it and that's why it was grown out. she made the laser appointment and grew out her foot hair, but then didn't have the money for the service and thought she'd get enough money for her foot hair issue at that job. that's what i later learned, but that's how i know her and that's the full extent of that. and, yeah, i did cause her to quit the job.
someone else got her a job at a fast casual as a hostess. she worked half a shift, went to the bar and requested food. the bartender went to get it for her. while he was gone to the kitchen she stole all the money from the bar tip jar, and then got fired less than 30 minutes later when the bartender noticed, he and the mgr watched the security cam and she was there, clear as day doing the thing.
stealing bar tips. then, she was gone. then she moved away, back in with her parents. too young guy told me, like i fucking cared. he was like pouty about it. like i drove her away. that's kinda how it came off to me.

Boyfriend never touches my clit unless I ask. Then he half ass rubs it too hard and hurts me. I’ve told him for forever about this and he doesn’t care. He finally told me that he doesn’t like that I have pubic hair and therefore he doesn’t know what to do when digging through the weeds… I mean it isn’t that hairy and I used to get waxed but it is expensive. He said it’s hard to do since womens clits dont give a have a visual cue on if Theyre turned on like boners do.
He also told me that he is afraid to touch me down there because he is afraid that I’ll be on my period? Even though I literally always tell him when I’m on my period and ask for his consent to have sex with me on my period.
I guess I just am shocked he cared so much about hair when he is the hairiest person in the world.
He is thirty and has had two sexual partners in past. It’s weird because we were going strong and then the sex just stopped and he used to get hard when we would shower together and I guess it stopped because I had grown my pubes out come to think of it. It all happened when I stopped getting waxed
He said he gets soft during sex because he can sense my disappointment but the only reason I get frustrated is because he continues to touch me in a way that hurts me. I don’t tell him I am frustrated or disappointed I just ask him to touch me in the way that feels good.
I have this fear that it is just me. If I was better he would do this to me and when the right girl comes along he will change for her but I’m just someone to waste time with in the meantime

Boyfriend never touches my clit unless I ask. Then he half ass rubs it too hard and hurts me. I’ve told him for forever about this and he doesn’t care. He finally told me that he doesn’t like that I have pubic hair and therefore he doesn’t know what to do when digging through the weeds… I mean it isn’t that hairy and I used to get waxed but it is expensive. He said it’s hard to do since womens clits dont give a have a visual cue on if Theyre turned on like boners do.
He also told me that he is afraid to touch me down there because he is afraid that I’ll be on my period? Even though I literally always tell him when I’m on my period and ask for his consent to have sex with me on my period.
I guess I just am shocked he cared so much about hair when he is the hairiest person in the world.

And where is it more 'socially acceptable' for a woman to have something like a happy trail or armpit hair?
I don't mean new wave emancipation here but rather traditionally acceptable.
I would guess places like India and the Middle East might be mentioned there, but would be great to hear first hand experiences.

Let me preface this by saying that I truly love the Dresden Files, and it's been very powerful watching both Jim and Harry grow over the years, as I've grown myself.
But, and this is a big but, I find myself cringing when I re-read some of his earlier books, especially when it comes to Jim Butcher's depiction / writing of women characters. It's to the point that I hesitate to recommend the series to any of my female friends, as much as I'd love to. I'm not trying to cherry pick either, I didn't search through the book to find examples, I just did a search for female characters' names to see how they were introduced.
Here's how he first describes Murphy:
"...she wore a long coat that covered her pantsuit. Murphy never wore dresses, though I suspected she’d have muscular, well-shaped legs, like a gymnast. She was built for function, and had a pair of trophies in her office from aikido tournaments to prove it. Her hair was cut at shoulder length and whipped out wildly in the spring wind. She wasn’t wearing earrings, and her makeup was of sufficient quality and quantity that it was tough to tell she had on any at all. She looked more like a favorite aunt or a cheerful mother than a hard-bitten homicide detective."
Even more concerning than Harry's description of Murphy is the way that Jim reinforces through his writing that Harry is right in his perceptions and actions:
"Maybe my values are outdated, but I come from an old school of thought. I think that men ought to treat women like something other than just shorter, weaker men with breasts. Try and convict me if I’m a bad person for thinking so. I enjoy treating a woman like a lady, opening doors for her, paying for shared meals, giving flowers—all that sort of thing.
It irritates the hell out of Murphy, who had to fight and claw and play dirty with the hairiest men in Chicago to get as far as she has. She glared up at me while I stood there holding open the door, but there was a reassurance about the glare, a relaxation. She took an odd sort of comfort in our ritual, annoying as she usually found it."
By writing in the same paragraph that it irritates Murphy, but then saying that she actually takes comfort from it, I feel that it reinforces the myth that all women actually want men to disrespect their preferences and boundaries, that they don't actually want to be treated as equals, even if they outright state that they aren't comfortable with the treatment they receive.
Here is how we are first introduced to Susan:
"She was a woman of average height and striking, dark beauty, wearing a crisp business jacket and skirt, hose, pumps. Her dark, straight hair was trimmed in a neat cut that ended at the nape of her neck and was parted off of the dark skin of her forehead, emphasizing the lazy appeal of her dark eyes... She leaned toward me, enough that a glance down would have afforded an interesting angle to the V of her white shirt. “I’d love to hear you tell me about this one, Harry.” She quirked a smile at me that promised things... “Just a hint,” she pressed. “A word of comment. Something shared between two people who are very attracted to one another.” “Which two people would that be?” She put an elbow on the counter and propped her chin in her hand, studying me through narrowed eyes and thick, long lashes. One of the things that appealed to me about her was that even though she used her charm and femininity relentlessly in pursuit of her stories, she had no concept of just how attractive she really was—I had seen that when I looked within her last year. “Harry Dresden,” she said, “you are a thoroughly maddening man.” Her eyes narrowed a bit further. “You didn’t look down my blouse even once, did you?” she accused. I took a sip of my ale and beckoned Mac to pour her one as well. He did. “Guilty.” “Most men are off-balance by now,” she complained. “What does it take with you, anyway, Dresden?” “I am pure of heart and mind,” I told her. “I cannot be corrupted.” She stared at me in frustration for a moment. Then she tilted back her head to laugh. She had a good laugh, too, throaty and rich. I did look down at her chest when she did that, just for a second. A pure heart and mind only takes you so far—sooner or later the hormones have their say, too. I mean, I’m not a teenager or anything, anymore, but I’m not exactly an expert in things like this, either. Call it an overwhelming interest in my professional career, but I’ve never had much time for dating or the fair sex in general. And when I have, it hasn’t turned out too well."
There's just so many cliches at play here, and none of them are particularly flattering. She both uses her femininity relentlessly in pursuit of her stories, but also has no idea that she's attractive? Jim Butcher constantly makes mention of how men are at the mercy of "their hormones" and their "base instincts" as if we have no control over our actions or decisions.
I don't know exactly what I'm trying to accomplish with this post, I just wanted to see if I was the only person in the fandom bothered by this stuff.

For as long as I can remember, I've been the hairiest guy that I know. My dad is a somewhat hairy guy too but no where close to myself. My arms are hair from wrist to shoulder with zero thinning at all. Because I don't really want to post pictures, if you think you have somewhat hairy legs for a guy, just imagine that on your arms, my legs are even more hairy. Its all disgusting and I really hate it.
I guess its not "disgusting" because I understand, its natural, but I hate seeing it and I don't think it looks "good", it would 100% look better to not be this hairy. The worst of all, is that none of it is "good hairy" lol. Usually people say oh, hairy chest etc used to be the cool thing for guys, you didn't want to be hairless. Yeah, maybe if you had a hair like Tom Selleck who has super curly chest hair and arm hair, but mine is just straight, dark and nasty. I'm covered, entire arms, my back maybe the least but still more hairy than all my friends, my entire legs are densely covered, all over my butt, whole torso, its just terrible.
I've tried for years to perfect a grooming routine. I trim with a guard on my legs, my arms, and usually try to shave my upper arms down to as low as I can before its prickly. Yet a day later its bad again, and it takes sooo long to do everything. If I go swimming ever (very rare) I need a full 24hrs notice to be able to sort out my body hair and not look like an animal jumping in the pool. Its bad enough that I SEVERLY despise situations where my shirt has to come off. Not because I'm ashamed of weight or how in shape I am, literally just because I know the amount of body hair I have is disgusting.
No matter what I tell myself, that its normal, that people don't care, etc, I just can't believe it. I have been teased my entire life by people about it. Women/men, friends, family, it never fails to happen. I know people don't like it, and I myself don't like it. But I don't know how to resolve this. I'd love to laser my arms so I can actually feel comfortable in short sleeve shirts, hell I've always wanted tattoos but I can't get them because my arms are too hairy...but if I was to laser my arms, suddenly bald arms might look super out of place. I just really don't know how to get past it, it makes me insanely self conscious at all times, to the point that winter is my favorite time of the year because I can just wear big sweatshirts all the time, covering my entire body and letting the sleeves cover my hands so you can't tell if I'm hairy or not. I have dated women that say they don't care, but I just constantly feel like they may not care because the relationship is good, but they would all "prefer" if I wasn't hairy and would have been more attracted to me if I wasn't.
Anyways, all that probably isn't necessary, but really interested in if anyone maybe similar has lasered their arms before and if those results wound up being natural? I'm finally at a point that I can financially actually go through with this, but I just can't decide if I really should.

So for those who have never played them, here's a quick summary:
Amnesia The Dark Descent
A guy has just spent a Night in Terror Tower, and apparently didn't get the memo to Stay Out of the Basement, and while en route he gets chased by this red stuff I like to call Monster Blood, and sometimes gets killed by The Beast From the East, but death barely sets you back so this game could've been called Night of the Living Dummy.
The groans I'll get are sure to be My Hairiest Adventure. Assuming anyone even gets the joke.
A Machine For Pigs
A man obsesses about his penis and goes around looking for two beautiful little boys, and during his hunt he finds out he basically built a Mako Reactor after finding balls.
Hey, did you know back in the day "pig" was a negative slang word for a policeman?
Amnesia Rebirth
It's basically Metroid Other M, except without character assassination and the heroine never gets power-ups, presumably because nobody was around to authorize them.
Justine
You the player attempt Justine three times then realize it makes more sense to just watch it on Youtube.
.............
Now, my big problem with the Amnesia games is the narrative. As games they're good, and Dark Descent is probably the best simply because it allows for custom stories.
The core trilogy though, all three have this problem of beating at one drum to the point where it stops being anything other than hilarious. It kinda feels like the creators are trying too hard.
In the first game, the drum is "we tortured people! Look at how horrific all these torture devices are! Isn't that sadistic? Doesn't it creep you out?" Now, I may be a psycho, but personally vaguely hearing that some people were tortured in the past doesn't do much for me (I don't like actually watching it, however).
As for the second and third game... my summaries almost weren't kidding. Machine for Pigs reads like someone heard the stereotype of Victorian England being extremely sex-negative and repressed as all hell, and just ran with it. There's literally a note (with voice narration, no less!) where the main character begins by saying he looked himself in the mirror while holding his naughty bits. In another point he says he wants to clean up society because "everyone is rutting everywhere" (rut is a word for... well, look it up).
You almost destroyed the world out of mere prudishness? Seriously?
And Rebirth (worst title ever, by the way, as I thought it was a remake of the first game).... literally the game is about a pregnant woman who finds out an alien queen wants her baby, and the game obsesses over motherhood and babies to the point where I was literally thinking of Metroid Other M midway through. You even find a note to the effect that the alien queen has all this power but all she really wants is a baby.
I'm.... honestly kinda surprised that the feminists of the world didn't come down hard on Rebirth. I myself am neither a feminist nor a social justice type, and even I couldn't escape the feeling that these creators associated women with "baby factory."
I'd have to say Dark Descent is probably the "scariest" of the games, but considering its competition, that's not saying much.
Also, people were freaked out by the invisible water monster? Seriously? After awhile I had more of an "oh f--- you" reaction to the beasties.
Now, the Penumbra series (the games Fractional did before Amnesia) is actually much better, although I hated how that story ended. Philip is such a dick. Hmmmm... Philip Dick.... sounds like a great name for an author...

I (30F) am just completely over the "summer maintenance" routine: constantly shaving my legs, maintaining a pedicure for sandals, extra "maintenance" for bikini bottoms, etc. Why does my husband get to have crazy toenails while I have to maintain mine? Why does he get to have the world's hairiest legs while I have to shave mine every other day, or otherwise feel disgusting going out in shorts? The older I get, the more over it I become. Not hygiene or looking nice, but the excessive, time consuming grooming that women are held to, but not cisgender males. ALSO, what gets me every single time is when a woman and her male partner go out, 9 times out of 10, she's significantly more dressed up than the guy, who's wearing cargo shorts and a t-shirt. I'm just done, I'm going to wear cargo shorts and t shirts to Outback now 😂 Sigh.

Hello,
To put it briefly, I'm not sure if what I have experienced in my life is normal for a cis male or not, and would appreciate any input / advice / experience etc. I don't personally know any transgender people, but I would greatly value any input anyone has, even if you aren't transgender. I am incredibly sorry if in any way something I say is offensive, and I ask that you please correct me.
To put it not so briefly:
(tw: depression, SH, etc.)
I am a 22 y/o male, and I have recently, over the past year or so, come out not only to myself but to my friends and my brothers about being bisexual. Everyone I have come out to so far have been very understanding and supportive, which has felt great. It took me until I was 22 years old to figure this out about myself, which in hindsight is kind of impressive to be honest. This is relevant because it has made me much more comfortable with expressing a more feminine side of myself. Whenever I express myself in a feminine way, I feel an incredible amount of joy and it feels right. However, I don't necessarily feel bad when I express myself in a more masculine way. I just don't feel that same euphoria as when I express myself in a feminine way.
My whole life I've been extremely shy and introverted, and never really felt like I belonged in my skin. I have always felt super uncomfortable taking off my shirt in front of other people, but maybe it's just because I'm insecure that I'm a little overweight? I never have really hated being a guy, but I have very distinct and strong memories waaay before I even started puberty of wishing I had been born a girl. Throughout my life I have had these at times fucking agonizing desires to be a girl. To the point where even seeing girls or hearing songs about girls gives me this horrible feeling of longing and desire to be one. I always dismissed this as "it's just not meant to be. I am a guy, and nothing can change that. Maybe if reincarnation or something is real I will be born a girl in the next life."
I come from a very religious and conservative family, and have made great strides in learning about the diversity of people. However, I am sure this is not helping me with my current situation in figuring all this out.
I have had major depression since around the beginning of my puberty, and I'm not sure to what degree it has been centered around gender confusion, but to some significant degree I'm sure. I've self harmed, planned suicide, and a lot of other dark shit before and it's all been centered around hating myself. I've not gone to any therapy for this, as my parents view it as me being lazy and not productive as the cause of my depression; not that I've told them the heavier aspects of it. Over the past year I've done a lot of work on learning to love myself, and care for myself, but I still find myself with a general dislike of myself to some capacity, as much as it pains me to admit it.
Recently, as I've thought more heavily about the potential that I am transgender, I've gone through waves of feeling intense depression and suicidal thoughts since I'm not a girl. I've dismissed my desire to be a girl as just something that is driven by horniness or lust, but even when I'm not horny I still feel this desire, and I've felt it since before puberty. When I play video games, I gravitate towards picking a female character. To some degree, it is because they are attractive, but I also find males attractive, yet I don't feel the same when I play a male character. I feel embarrassed to play a female character; like I'm a creep, or an imposter. Not to get too personal / nsfw, but in porn I always have self-inserted as the female, and don't really feel very comfortable being in a male role. I've avoided dating completely; although gender is not something that restricts my attraction, something just doesn't feel right about being in a relationship, though I desire one.
I've heard stereotypes / generalizations that trans women, pre transition, try to be very feminine men, and try to eliminate facial hair, leg hair, etc. as much as possible. Maybe it's just because I don't feel that I belong in this body or something, but I tend to kind of let myself go. It doesn't really bother me THAT much that I have facial hair, but if I had a choice I would simply not have any grow at all ever. This is a problem, however, because I for some reason have the genetics to be literally the hairiest person in my entire family by far (though any kind of facial hair I can grow is rather patchy and pathetic).
Over the past few days, I've toyed more with the thought of being trans. In the past the thought of recognizing myself as trans scared the hell out of me, so I basically repressed those thoughts and feelings as much as possible. I've been trying to confront these feelings more directly recently, and it's really throwing me for a loop. I'm concerned that my body is too masculine already to ever pass as a female if I ever decided to transition, or was even 100% sure that I'm trans in the first place.
Anyways, sorry for the book, but I've bottled this up for the past 22 years and have literally spoken not a single word in any capacity to anyone ever about this and it's kind of come to a head recently, and taken a toll on my mental health. I would greatly appreciate advice and feedback, or your own experience, far more than you probably think. I already read this: https://genderdysphoria.fyi/ and I would greatly appreciate more reading or videos or whatever if you have any to share that might help me sort all this out. I don't really have a preference for pronouns currently so use whatever you feel like. Also, I apologize that I tend to be very verbose.

I just moved in with my bf and his roommate because my own living situation fell through and I don’t know anybody in the town I live in. I’m working on saving to leave this entire state but in the mean time this is where I can stay. This roommate is the biggest slob I’ve ever met. I think I’ve seen him clean two things in the month and a half Ive been here. I’m not necessarily a neat freak but I do hold tidiness in shared places as a pretty high standard. Also something about this boy’s messiness stinks and I’ve spent the majority of my spare time trying to figure out where the stench is coming from. So yeah he’s a typical bad roommate; Monopolizes the tv with gameplay videos from whenever he gets home until the morning because he falls asleep (shirtless in basketball shorts) on the janky ass worn down suede loveseat (I call it the sweat seat) every night and if you even go to the bathroom he wakes up and restarts a new video instead of going to his own damn room, he leaves dishes around and never wipes the counter when he cooks, he has 2/3 pets in the house and has never cleaned the floors, to my knowledge. The first time I mopped I had to go over it twice. But, maybe predictably, the crux of my disgust is his bathroom etiquette. Neither of them care about the toilet seat being down which I guess I could live with but somebody has terrible aim and nobody cares that they make me touch their back splash 99% of the times I pee. Twice now I’ve gotten nakey, put my robe on and grabbed my towel and razor only to move his towel from the curtain rod and see that the tub is COATED in hair. I’ve lived with men and women all my life and never have I ever seen such a hairy tub, on god. It’s infuriating honestly! It feels unsanitary, it’s rude, it’s careless and it feels entitled. Like, he really does just leave his plate wherever he finishes it knowing either me or my bf will clean it within 24 hours because that’s how we are. That stuff is annoying and rude but I care a lot less than walking into an unsanitary situation when I have the intention of shaving or something. And I know for a fact that my bf is the hairiest person in the house and I have long hair and shave everything but I don’t either. My bf and I shouldn’t be cleaning up after a fully grown man and my bf has mentioned a few times to him to no avail. I’m about to freak out.

TL/DR: Am I body positive or just subconsciously avoiding intimacy?
I'm the hairiest women you've ever seen, I promise you, but the full package otherwise. After breaking up my last relationship I haven't shaved my legs in a year and it is IMPRESSIVE. I have super light skin and dark brown hair so it's very obvious too. I was bullied for my body hair as a child and instead of being told that my hair was normal, my (much less hairy) mom promptly taught me how to shave. I've carried around the notion that I'm unlovable because of my hair my whole life. My ex boyfriend constantly criticized my hair and would never fail to complain of stubbles. Since the hair grows back within a day or two, I had stubbles almost constantly and I'm sure I would in my next relationship unless I find the energy to shave every other day. His intolerance of my hair made me feel unattractive and would immediately turn me off sexually. (I shave my armpits and wax my upper lip cuz I like the way I look without a wispy hair there, and also the vag area because otherwise it's the rainforest and dulls my sensitivity during sex, but that's the only hair removal I actually enjoy)
I've started dating again (I'm 30) and fantasize about a partner that not only tolerates my hair, but actually likes it, or at least loves that I'm being self-confident/brave/my true self. But I have a sneaking suspicion that this fantasy is due in part to the unresolved trauma of being ridiculed for my hair as a child. I don't want to use relationships to try and heal my inner child, since I know that doesn't work anyways. BUT the thought of shaving my legs for a man never fails to make me feel inadequate. Plus I hate the painful full-leg sensitivity I get after a shave, the nicks and cuts, and the time it takes to do it when I'm busy.
Whoever I date will eventually know how hairy I am. Shaving feels like putting off the inevitable. It feels desperate. On the other hand, not shaving makes me envision scenarios of being rejected, and I'm not sure body positivity is the hill I want to die on especially if I like everything else about a person.
I think I would be ok with shaving if the man I'm with knew the breadth and depth of my hairiness. I'd feel more comfortable if he knew that I get stubbles between shaving, that it feels like sandpaper 6 out of 7 days a week, and that for all intents and purposes shaving is only an aesthetic consideration. I think shaving my legs looks a little weird, since I have a little hair traveling up to my lower back and belly button, so unless I shave my whole butt there is a line where I stop at the top of my thigh. I also have hair around my nipples and feet. It would be a full time job trying to look smooth everywhere. (waxing my legs is super painful and takes over an hour. I tried it once and I was shaking my the end of it. It's torture and I'll never do it again)
I've gone on a few dates with a guy I really like, but not knowing how to approach the hair issue with him is making me miserable. I have hairy arms, so I'm sure he has a sense that I'm a hairy person already, but my last boyfriend was also privy to this info and yet still horrible about my legs during our relationship.
How do I broach this topic with potential partners?
My ideas:

1. shave because I can't take the anxiety, but then then show him a pic of what it looks like not shaved ("do you like hair on nipples?")
2. Don't shave, ask the man how cool he is with it, stand before him like I'm waiting to be judged for a crime.
3. Don't shave, say nothing about it unless he brings it up, feel anxious about it till he invites me to the beach. Show up to the beach unshaved, full spectacle like I'm on a reality show.
4. put my unshaved legs in my dating profile and be the first woman I've ever seen display this amount of hair publicly.

So I'm new to the liking guys thing, I have always felt super insecure about my body hair, I have a fucking ton of it like seriously(refer the hairiest bodybuilder). I tried shaving it off, but there is just way too much of it and its not really working out as I never get a clean shave(yes I tried with different razors including women's razors) there is always a little bit left. I wanna bottom so bad, but I feel gross af because i'm even more hairy down there, makes me feel super insecure. Media portrays this marble statue of a hunk as the ideal throughout and its not really helping me out.
I've decided to embrace my hairiness, who is your bear boner inducer, I need some inspiration and motivation. I'll start, Henry Cavill(although hes like 0.1% of the hairiness I am)

(Skip below the ----------------- for the short version).
My disposable income is going up a lot soon. Friends boyfriend is moving in soon, which means in the soon upcoming months, I'll have enough money to buy new clothes, and invest in better forms of hair removal. My face and neck is of almost no concern cause fortunately where I live there is free laser through the clinic I go to but that's only the neck and face.
Which I'm totally and utterly grateful for... However I need to figure out what to do about my body hair. It gives me a very negative self image, tons of dysphoria, and makes any dating that involves my real life physical body almost impossible. I'm so damn dysphoric right now, any dating would have to be strictly romantic only not going beyond that. Not to mention it obviously reduces my self esteem a good deal.
You need to understand my androgenic hair is so thick and dark and grows so fast it's actually scientifically fascinating... And very very very dysphoria inducing. I have so much androgenic hair, I ask myself every day, why my DNA donors are amongst the hairiest humans in all of modern existence. There's only a tiny handful of families on this earth hairier than mine... By the time I was 17 years old my body hair and facial hair was as thick as I'd say, most men who are 50 or 60 years old. You get how this is like dysphoria hell for a MTF who wants a body fairly close to traditional femininity right???
When I turned 18, I was kind of still trapped by my family who kind of held me prisoner for private reasons I won't get into, but I also to some degree, was kind of afraid to be around other trans women in a cruel irony of... Other trans women could've helped me find the resources I needed, but I also didn't want to be physically seen by other trans women because I was deeply ashamed of how hairy I was... Did you know I'm so dysphoric about this I made it on my throwaway account?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
... Anyways you had enough of my pity me story, you had enough of my ranting, enough of my melodrama right?
Anyways yeah, I'm a profoundly dysphoric genetic freak, genetically programmed to have super hard to alleviate dysphoria, because I got the super extreme androgenic hair gene. Plus I'm pale and it's really dark.
From the waist down my hair is so extreme that I honestly think shaving does not work. The upside is I only have a tiny bit of hair on my upper body, and shaving my arms is much easier than shaving my legs, and my arm skin doesn't seem as sensitive as my leg skin. I don't think leg shaving works for someone with my type of genetics, so I feel sad whenever I see a post about leg shaving euphoria which doesn't work for me... Shaving my legs is extremely hard, and I almost always get cuts, and ingrown hairs seem frequent, and I'm so damn unlucky it even goes to my feet and toes, just like I'm unlucky enough to have hair on my knuckles and hands, but at least that's easier to shave for some reason.
My question is: Should I consider waxing????? Since my disposable income is going up in the near future, I am very strongly considering waxing or sugarwaxing, because only waxing, sugarwaxing, laser or electrolysis can give me those famous highly cherished smooth legs I want so badly.
I feel a little ambivalent cause I read before that waxing can make laseelectrolysis less effective... But if I'm poor, and doomed to be extremely hairy if I don't do something better than shaving, and waxing/sugaring over time can reduce thickness should I consider it?
Does waxing/sugaring PERMANENTLY make laseelectrolysis less effective? Or only for a while? And how MUCH can waxing/sugaring thin out leg hair anyways? The good news is I keep reading it's not as resilient or hard to get rid of as facial hair... The bad news is what I told you.
I feel like I have two options... Either hate my body for the years to come, until eventually I can save enough to slowly get body laser done, and hope the world doesn't suddenly end because of transphobic people trying to destroy society before then... Or alternatively, wax or sugar in the mean time since it slowly thins out body hair anyways.
What would you say I do? Should I wax it? Should I sugar it? Should I compromise by getting a very good body hair trimmer and purchase platinum blonde body hair dye??? Would the last make it almost unnoticeable even?
I tried nairing it... In some ways better than shaving but I get lots of tiny red spots, and you can still see the roots. Shaving my legs just always goes bad and it seems my leg skin is ultra sensitive and always gets cuts no matter how careful I am.
I don't care how hard or difficult or "impractical" it is, I want a smooth body very badly. No I don't think people should be treated like crap for being hairy as carpets, or forced to remove their body hair for sociological reasons... I mean for the RECORD NO I don't THINK women should have to be less hairy than men okay???... But I DO want to have a smooth body. I don't give a damn about the sociological norms or politics of human hair, but I simply don't want to have a hairy body, and I know I'll never change my mind, and I know it's not due to some inherently political reason or whatever.
Anyways... What do you recommend I do? Should I consider waxing? Should I consider sugar'ing? How does this compare to laser hair removal and will it only temporarily make laser worse or permanently make laser removal ineffective? I DO want to get body laser for the record, I'm just not that sure if I'll ever be able to afford it, and if so I suspect it will be a very long wait, in the mean time I'm trying to figure out what to do.
In the mean time whenever I want to feel remotely feminine I simply wear leggings, because it's my only option right now. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? What would you recommend I do?

I’m a women who has PCOS/hormone imbalance so I may be hairier than average, but I also think our ethnicity and genetics play a role? I literally have fine to coarse hair everywhere including my stomach, chest, face, breasts, back, and butt (which is the hairiest). I’m wondering if anyone else does too? It makes me so self conscious when it comes to dating and intimacy. Yes I can wax, shave, pluck, get laser etc. but the time, financial commitment and upkeep are exhausting, especially because it grows back so quickly. If you are a hairier woman, has your significant other just accepted it, or do you constantly remove your hair? Men who are reading this, is a hairier women a major turn off for you!? Thanks in advance for sharing!

(TW: homophobia/transphobia)
I'm often trying to process how inappropriate nudity, purity culture, and homophobia intersected in my church and evangelical camp. I've been reading a lot about the Kannukuk scandals lately, and so much of the grooming and weird obsession with nudity PLUS anti-gay sentiments feel very familiar.
Did anyone else's male youth leaders/pastors openly use homophobic slurs? In the mid 2000s, my male youth leaders (they were like 25-35 years old) would "jokingly" call high school boys f---- constantly, and they'd say "no homo" all the time. They were obsessed with "naked time" with the boys, and would "inspect" the boys' naked bodies, then PUBLICLY give out an annual award for the hairiest and least hairy boy's naked body (which, upon looking back, feels like some weird Aryan shit). They did other nudity initiations, but those were so obviously wrong, it's not worth mentioning.
The female youth leaders were also publicly naked a lot with the female students-- they loved skinny dipping with the "cool" girls (meaning, the girls who wouldn't tell their parents) and walking around naked on mission trips/retreats/etc because it's "all girls."
I also feel as though "cross dressing" was a very popular church/camp/retreat joke. It was banned from my group because they thought it was a sin for men to dress like women, even for a skit/joke. I think the cross-dressing was wrong for LOTS of reasons... but that wasn't one of them.
I'm wondering how common this was during the height of purity culture (like 2002-2010?) and before a lot of the LGBTQIA+ equality conversations became unavoidable in evangelical circles.

Please let me know if you spot any errors, if there are any significant references I'm missing, or if you have any questions about the list. Also let me know if you'd like to see any characters added to the list.
According to the CDC, the mean U.S. male height as approximately 5'9.17", and the mean U.S. female height as approximately 5'3.7" (data taken from 2011 to 2014), and I use these as reference points whenever Dresden or another character describes someone of "average," "medium," "tall," or "short" height. As the majority of POV characters live in the U.S., I assume they do too.
Though admittedly, this isn't always consistent with how characters are described. For instance, Fix, even after becoming the Summer Knight, is both "at least five nine" and "below average height." Meanwhile Susan is described as having "average" and "medium" height while also being about 5'9". So unless these were simple discrepancies, there's a decent chance that Harry actually views "average height" as a bit higher than it actually is in real life, but... eh. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Please note that the estimated heights listed next to each character are just rough guesses, and are purposely wide in range for characters with fewer concrete references.

Harry Dresden - 6'8"-6'9"

• (Note: I don't plan on listing every single reference to Harry's height throughout the series. There are just too many.)
  
• Storm Front: "tall"
  
• "I Was A Teenage Bigfoot": "I’m in the ninety-ninth percentile for height"
  
• "Heorot": "I’m more than six and a half feet tall"
  
• "Backup": "He was head and shoulders taller than most of the people around him, professional-basketball-player tall"
  
• "Last Call": "most of seven feet tall"
  
• "Love Hurts": "I’m freakishly tall" (...) "I was most of two feet taller than [Murphy (5'0")] was""
  
• Peace Talks: "I'm six-nine." (...) "very tall"
  
• Battle Ground: "I was about six eight or six nine, depending on my shoes"
  
• "The Law": "I'm about six foot nine"
  

Karrin Murphy - 5'0"-5'1"

• "A Restoration of Faith": "She was short, stocky"
  
• Storm Front: "she's short"
  
• Fool Moon: "Karrin Murphy wasn't much more than five feet tall." (...) "Murphy, standing at her full five-feet-and-change tall"
  
• Grave Peril: "five-foot-nothing in height."
  
• Summer Knight: "She stood five feet nothing in her bare feet."
  
• Death Masks: "Murphy looked like someone's kid sister. She was five nothing, a hundred and nothing"
  
• Blood Rites: "five-nothing, a hundred and nothing"
  
• Proven Guilty: "She was maybe a rose petal over five feet tall"
  
• White Night: "five feet and small change"
  
• Small Favor: "tiny and fierce" (...) "Tiny, but fierce."
  
• "Last Call": "a five-foot blonde"
  
• Turn Coat: "She was five feet nothing"
  
• "Love Hurts": "She was a tiny, compactly muscular woman" (...) "I was most of two feet taller than she was"
  
• Changes: "A woman a little more than five feet tall"
  
• "Aftermath": "five feet tall" (...) "both Will and I were under average height"
  
• Ghost Story: "She was a woman of well below average height"
  
• Cold Days: "She was five nothing"
  
• Skin Game: "Only attitude kept her from being an itty-bitty person" (...) "Ascher ('nearly six feet tall') was a foot taller than she was."
  
• Peace Talks: "a bitty thing, five and not much, if a very muscular five and not much"
  
• Battle Ground: "Murph had to wear thick socks to break five feet even"
  

Maggie Dresden - still growing

• (Maggie is about 10 or 11 in Peace Talks. The CDC lists the 5th height percentile for girls her age as about 4'2"-4'4".)
  
• Skin Game: "a little girl"
  
• "Zoo Day": "a tiny child, in the lowest percentile for height and weight in every class she’d ever been in"
  
• Battle Ground: "small"
  

Bonea Dresden - skull-sized

• (I don't really know how tall a skull is when it's set on a table, but an Amazon listing for a replica skull says it's about 6 inches tall and that's good enough for me)
  
• Skin Game (Dream Form): "a smallish figure" (...) "She looked like a child maybe twelve years old"
  
• Skin Game (Skull): "a modestly accurate replica of a human skull"
  

Mouse - big ol' dog

• WoJ (2010 Buzzy Multimedia Interview): "if you scale up a Tibetan Mastiff (2'2"-2'6"), you get to Mouse Size"
  
• Dead Beat: "The dog's shoulders came nearly to my waist, and the vet didn't think he was finished growing yet."
  
• Turn Coat: "[Georgia's wolf form] was an enormous beast, easily as heavy as Mouse, but taller and leaner"
  
• Changes: "Mouse was lobbying to claim Gimli on the basis of being the shortest, the stoutest, and the hairiest"
  
• Peace Talks: "a shaggy grey behemoth about the size of a Budweiser horse"
  
• Battle Ground: "big grey dog"
  
• "Christmas Eve": "more than two hundred pounds of patient grey floof"
  

Mister - feline of unusual size

• (Google lists cat heights as being about 9 to 10 inches, but apparently the tallest domestic cat in the world is about 19 inches tall. I don't know what to do with this information.)
  
• Storm Front: "an enormous grey cat. I mean, enormous. There are dogs smaller than Mister. He weighs in at just over thirty pounds, and there isn't an undue amount of fat on his frame"
  
• Fool Moon: "big" (...) "larger than a lot of dogs"
  
• Blood Rites: "Mister weighs twenty-five or thirty pounds"
  
• Proven Guilty: "my thirty-pound grey tomcat"
  
• Small Favor: "my hyperthyroid tomcat"
  
• "Day Off": "my oversized cat"
  
• Ghost Story: "a tiny grey mountain lion"
  
• Peace Talks: "big grey tomcat"
  
• "The Law": "big, old, grey, tomcat" (...) "Mister looked up from his food, purred, and rubbed between my knees again."
  
• "Fugitive": "a very large tom cat (but still much smaller than [Mouse])"
  

Bob the Skull - skull-sized

• book name - "skull"
  
• (i can't be bothered)
  

Demonreach ("Alfred") - about 9'0"-12'0", possibly varying

• Turn Coat: "it was eleven or twelve feet tall"
  
• Ghost Story: "enormous"
  
• Cold Days: "huge, maybe twelve feet tall"
  
• Skin Game: "ten or twelve feet tall"
  
• Peace Talks: "enormous, as tall as the Titan (around 9'0"), and far broader" (...) "vast"
  

The Alphas

William Borden - 5'5"-5'6"

• Fool Moon: "a stout young man less than five and a half feet tall" (...) "the stout, short kid"
  
• Dead Beat: "Billy was a little shorter than average, and had more muscle than a Bowflex commercial."
  
• "Something Borrowed": "Billy wasn’t tall" (...) "'with [Harry] standing up there on one side of you and Georgia on the other, you’re going to look like a midget'"
  
• Summer Knight: "a short young man"
  
• "Day Off": "short, heavily muscled"
  
• Turn Coat: "He was a short guy, maybe five six"
  
• "Aftermath": "He was about five five, five six, and built like an armored car, all flat, heavy muscle."
  
• Ghost Story: "He was a man of below-average height and well above-average build. "
  
• "Jury Duty": "shorter than average, and built like a linebacker"
  
• Battle Ground: "about five and a half feet tall"
  
• "The Law": "a blocky man" (...) "His head came up to my sternum."
  
• "Fugitive": "a big man with a small man's height"
  

Georgia Borden - about 6'0"

• Fool Moon: "[Will] stood with his hands on his hips, glaring up at a rail-thin blonde girl at least a head taller than he, the lines of her willowy body all awkward"
  
• Summer Knight: "a willowy girl a foot taller than [Billy]" (...) "She was nearly a foot taller than Billy"
  
• Dead Beat: "She was a willowy young woman about Billy's age, somewhere around six feet tall."
  
• "Something Borrowed": "Georgia was a tall woman--in high enough heels, she could have looked me in the eye"
  
• "Day Off": "tall, willowy"
  
• Turn Coat: "She was a tall woman, lean and willowy"
  
• Battle Ground: "nearer six feet (compared to Will's 5'6")"
  

Andi Macklin - maybe 5'2"-5'9"

• "Day Off": "her long, strong legs"
  
• "Bombshells": "She was a girl of medium height"
  

Marci - maybe 5'1"-5'3"

• "Aftermath": "She was a little taller than [Murphy (5'0"-5'1")], which still put her below average"

Tera West (Human Form) - about 6'0"

• Fool Moon: "as tall as [Georgia]"

Chicago Mob

John Marcone - maybe 5'10"-5'11"

• Death Masks: "He was a man of slightly above average height and unassuming build."
  
• Dead Beat: "He was a man a little over average height."
  
• White Night: "He was an inch or two above average height"
  
• Small Favor: "a man of medium height and build" (...) "He stood just a bit over average height and was of medium build"
  
• "Monsters": "Medium height, medium build"
  
• Peace Talks: "Perhaps slightly taller than average"
  

Nathan Hendricks - maybe 6'2"-6'8"

• Storm Front: "a rather large man" (...) "very large and very overdeveloped"
  
• Fool Moon: "hulking" (...) "huge"
  
• Death Masks: "a couple of large and unfriendly-looking men" (...) "an enormous man" (...) "A shadow fell over Marcone, and I looked up to see Hendricks hulk into view behind him. Hendricks was still huge"
  
• Dead Beat: "he'd had to get his business suit at the big-and-tall store"
  
• White Night: "A large man" (...) "The huge redheaded enforcer" (...) "Hendricks was a huge man, three hundred pounds and more" (...) "big man"
  
• Small Favor: "Hendricks made [Gard (6'0")] look petite" (...) "A massive man" (...) "Hendricks wasn’t as tall as me"
  
• "Even Hand": "Hendricks was a large, trustworthy man"
  
• "Aftermath": "'He was big. Almost as big as Ray ('well over six feet tall'), but he... You know, he moved better. He was in shape.'"
  
• Peace Talks: "a ginger Mack truck wearing a suit"
  

Sigrun Gard - about 6'0"

• Death Masks: "a gorgeous, leggy, blue-eyed, elegant, tall, Nordic angel"
  
• Dead Beat: "She was better than six feet tall"
  
• "Heorot": "She was a tall blonde, six feet or so, even in flat, practical shoes"
  
• Small Favor: "Gard was tall, six feet or so" (...) "tall, athletic" (...) "she was six feet tall in her bare feet"
  
• "Even Hand": "a tall blond woman"
  
• "Aftermath": "a blond amazon more than six feet tall in a grey business suit. She had the legs that had been cruelly denied me at birth, the bitch."
  
• Peace Talks: "tall enough to play basketball"
  

Helen Beckitt - maybe 5'8" or higher

• Storm Front: "A tall couple (Helen & her husband)"
  
• White Night: "She was tall, lean"
  

Skaldi Skjeldson: about 6'10"-7'0"

• Ghost Story: "a man who had inherited a portion of his DNA from a rhinoceros—and not many generations ago. He was huge and heavily muscled" (...) "Hair Ball fell like a tree, huge and slow." (...) "giant" (...) "Big guy" (...) "'Skaldi’s two hundred pounds heavier than [Murphy (5'0"-5'1")], almost two feet taller'"
  
• Skin Game: "a man the height and width of a drawbridge"
  

Childs - ???

• (No specific references. Likely not so especially tall or short as to warrant mention. Though if Harry says Childs doesn't look like a big guy due to his lack of muscle, then it probably isn't also due to his lack of height. I'd guess at least medium height.)
  
• Ghost Story: "He didn’t look like a big guy. He wasn’t heavy with muscle."
  

Knights of the Cross, the Church, and the Carpenter Family

Michael Carpenter - about 6'6"-6'7"

• Grave Peril: "tall and broad"
  
• Death Masks: "Tall and broad-shouldered"
  
• Proven Guilty: "Michael Carpenter was almost as tall as me and packed a lot more muscle."
  
• Small Favor: "Michael was only a couple of inches shorter than me"
  
• "The Warrior": "Michael Carpenter was a large, brawny man, though he was leaner now than in all the time I’d known him."
  
• Skin Game: "Michael Carpenter was well over six feet tall"
  
• "Day One": "action-hero sized"
  
• "Christmas Eve": "a large man"
  
• "Fugitive": "a tall man"
  

Sanya Ivanovich - about 6'5"-6'6"

• Death Masks: "a tall young black man" (...) "[Sanya] gripped the larger man's (Michael's) shoulder"
  
• Small Favor: "a large, dark-skinned man appeared" (...) "Sanya’s cloak covered [Marcone] like a blanket."
  
• Peace Talks: "the size and build of an NFL linebacker"
  
• Battle Ground: "six and a half feet of muscle" (...) "big"
  

Shiro Yoshimo - maybe 5'6" or shorter

• Death Masks: "little"

Waldo Butters - 5'2"-5'5"

• Death Masks: "a small man"
  
• Dead Beat: "Butters was a little guy, maybe five-foot-three in his shoes, maybe 120 pounds soaking wet."
  
• White Night: "Butters was an odd little duck. He wasn't much taller than Murphy."
  
• "The Warrior": "a little man"
  
• Turn Coat: "He was a wiry little guy"
  
• Ghost Story: "He wasn’t very big" (...) "The little guy"
  
• "Bombshells": "He was a beaky little guy"
  
• Cold Days: "a wiry little guy"
  
• Skin Game: "Butters was a scrawny little guy"
  
• Peace Talks: "a squirrely little guy" (...) "a little guy" (...) "Maybe five foot five"
  
• Battle Ground: "little guy" (...) "diminutive stature"
  

Anthony Forthill - maybe 5'6"-5'8"

• Grave Peril: "a greying man of slight build and only medium stature"
  
• Death Masks: "He was taller than Shiro, but a lot shorter than everyone else (Harry, Sanya, Michael) there" (...) "He was the same short, stocky, balding old Forthill"
  
• Proven Guilty: "a little under average height"
  
• "The Warrior": "Father Forthill was a stocky man of medium height"
  

Charity Carpenter - 5'10"-5'11"

• Grave Peril: "She was tall"
  
• Death Masks: "She was a tall woman, only an inch or so under six feet"
  
• Proven Guilty: "[Molly] strongly favored her mother, Charity. Both of them were tall for women, only an inch or two under six feet "
  
• Small Favor: "Molly took after Charity Carpenter, who had passed her coloring and build on to her daughter."
  
• "The Warrior": "She was tall and broad-shouldered, for a woman"
  
• Skin Game: "a tall blond woman"
  

Molly Carpenter - 5'10"-5'11"

• Death Masks: "As tall as her mother"
  
• Proven Guilty: "She strongly favored her mother, Charity. Both of them were tall for women, only an inch or two under six feet"
  
• White Night: "She was tall, most of a foot taller than Murphy"
  
• "It's My Birthday, Too": "She was tall for a woman"
  
• Small Favor: "Tall"
  
• "Day Off": "tall"
  
• Turn Coat: "a tall young woman"
  
• Ghost Story: "tall"
  
• Cold Days: "She’d grown up tall, five-ten or a little more"
  
• Peace Talks: "a tall young woman"
  
• "Christmas Eve": "a tall young woman"
  

Daniel Carpenter - maybe 6'6"-6'7"

• Ghost Story: "as tall and as strong as his father"

Knights of the Blackened Denarius

Nicodemus Archleone - maybe 5'7"-6'0"

• Death Masks: " He was a man of medium height and build"
  
• Small Favor: "He was a man of medium height and build"
  
• Skin Game: "A man of medium height and build" (...) "slim" (...) "Michael was a big guy, built broad and strong, and the contrast between him and Nicodemus was striking" (...) "the smaller man (compared to Michael)"
  

Deirdre - ???

• (No specific references. Likely not so especially tall or short as to warrant mention. Given her parents' heights, she's probably no taller than medium height, if not shorter.)

Polonius Lartessa - about 4'11" or shorter

• Small Favor: "She was a little slip of a girl who barely looked old enough to hold a driver’s license"
  
• Skin Game: "she was a tiny woman, under five feet tall"
  

Rosanna - maybe 5'8" or taller

• Small Favor: "a tall and striking woman"

Blood on His Soul (The Genoskwa) - maybe 9'4" or taller

• Skin Game: "well over nine feet tall"

White Council

Arthur Langtry - maybe 6'0"-6'6"

• Summer Knight: "a tall man"
  
• Proven Guilty: "tall"
  
• Turn Coat: "The Merlin was a tall man"
  

Ebenezar McCoy - about 5'6"

• Summer Knight: "a short, stocky man"
  
• Blood Rites: "a short, stocky man"
  
• Proven Guilty: "short, stocky"
  
• Changes: "The nearest figure was considerably shorter than me and stout"
  
• Peace Talks: "He was a couple of inches shorter than average"
  
• Battle Ground: "he was about five six"
  

Listens-To-Wind - 5'8"-5'9"

• Summer Knight: "He was of innocuous height, five eight, maybe five nine."

Ancient Mai - maybe 5'2" or shorter

• Summer Knight: "The tiny woman"
  
• Turn Coat: "I found Ancient Mai to be a very scary little person." (...) "a tiny figure"
  

Martha Liberty - about 6'1" or taller

• Summer Knight: "The first was a woman better than six feet tall."
  
• Proven Guilty: "a tall, brawny woman"
  

Rashid (The Gatekeeper) - 6'11"-7'0"

• Summer Knight: "He was tall. Taller than me. Seven feet, and thin."
  
• Proven Guilty: "He was taller than me, which is saying something"
  
• Turn Coat: "a tall, slender figure" (...) "There aren’t many wizards taller than me.'"
  
• Cold Days: "He was a couple of inches taller than me, which put him at the next-best thing to seven feet"
  

Gregori Cristos - maybe 5'11"-6'6"

• Changes: - "a tall, spare man"
  
• Peace Talks: "a little taller than average"
  

Anastasia Luccio (Original Body) - maybe 5'8"-5'10"; (Second Body) - about 5'4"-5'6"

• "A Fistfull of Warlocks" - "A very tall, lean fellow... He was not so very much taller than me"
  
• Dead Beat (Original Body): "She was a solid old matriarch of a woman, as tall as most men and built like someone who did plenty of physical labor"
  
• Dead Beat (Corpsetaker's Body): "The girl was about five-six"
  
• Small Favor: "she was about five-foot-four and might have checked in at a hundred and thirty or forty pounds soaking wet"
  
• Changes: "not particularly tall"
  

Donald Morgan - maybe 6'7"-6'8"

• Storm Front: "He was tall, like me, but broad and heavy-chested" (...) "We were of a height, though he outweighed me by about a hundred pounds" (...) "tall and massive"
  
• Summer Knight: "Morgan stood nearly as tall as I did"
  
• Dead Beat: "He was a tall man, six feet and then some"
  
• Turn Coat: "He was a big man, over six feet, with plenty of muscle"
  

Carlos Ramirez - 5'8"-5'10"

• Proven Guilty: "He was average height"
  
• "Cold Case": "He was a little over medium height, maybe an inch or two shorter than [Molly (5'10"-5'11")], and built like a gymnast"
  
• Peace Talks: "Carlos Ramirez was of average height"
  

Chandler ("Steed") - ???

• (No specific references. Likely not so especially tall or short as to warrant mention. Although if Chandler were shorter than average, Dresden would likely have used descriptors closer to "little" or "small" rather than "lean" and "slim," so I'm guessing that he's at least average height)
  
• Turn Coat: "a lean and fit-looking young man"
  
• Peace Talks: "slim"
  

Bill Meyers - ???

• (No specific references. Likely not so especially tall or short as to warrant mention.)
  
• Peace Talks: "His cloak was shorter on him than it had been when we’d started the war with the Red Court--Wild Bill hadn’t been done growing yet"
  

Yukie Yoshimo - about 5'4"

• Peace Talks: "about five four"

Vampire Courts

Lara Raith - maybe 5'8"-6'2"

• Blood Rites: "She would have been tall, even without the heeled faux-Victorian boots of Italian leather"
  
• White Night: "She was of a height with [Ramirez (about 5'8"-5'10")], but taller in the heels" (...) "On either side of her stood two of her sisters, all of them tall" (...) "a tall female Raith"
  
• Peace Talks: "She was tall for a woman, but I’m tall for anybody. [Harry (6'8"-6'9")] probably had most of a foot of advantage in reach on her"
  

Thomas Raith - 5'11"-6'0"

• Grave Peril: "He was tall" (...) "A slender figure of medium height"
  
• Death Masks: "Thomas was a shade under six feet tall"
  
• Blood Rites: "He wasn't as tall as me" (...) "I was quite a bit taller than him"
  
• Proven Guilty: "He was right around six feet in height"
  
• White Night: "My brother was a little bit shy of six feet tall"
  
• Turn Coat: "He was maybe a hair or three under six feet tall"
  
• Changes: "He was a hair under six feet, and looked like a fitness model."
  
• Ghost Story: "He might have been an inch under six feet tall, though it was hard for me to tell--he had worn so many different kinds of fashionable shoes that his height was always changing subtly"
  
• "Bombshells": "Thomas was maybe a finger’s width under six feet tall"
  
• Cold Days: "My brother was a hair shy of six feet tall"
  
• Peace Talks: "My older brother is right around six feet tall."
  

Justine - maybe 5'4"-5'6"

• Grave Peril: "In the (high) heels, she might have been five-seven"
  
• Blood Rites: "a little taller than average"
  
• Turn Coat: "Justine wasn’t particularly tall, for a girl"
  
• Peace Talks: "medium height"
  

Freydis Gard - maybe 5'8" or higher

• Peace Talks: "A tall figure"

Riley - maybe 6'0"-6'6"

• "Jury Duty": "a rather large and rough-looking man"
  
• Peace Talks: "lean"
  

Lord Raith - about 6'0"

• Blood Rites: "He was about six feet tall"
  
• White Night: "Thomas favored his father heavily, and at first glance, Lord Raith could have been Thomas. He had the same strong, appealing features, the same glossy dark hair, the same lean build."
  

Vlad Drakul - ???

• (No specific references. He's the tallest of his posse, but given that his posse is full of centuries-old corpses, that may or may not be all that impressive.)
  
• Battle Ground: "tallest of the hooded figures (heights not specified)"
  

Mavra - ???

• No specific references. Likely not so especially tall or short as to warrant mention.

Bianca St. Claire - maybe 5'1"-5'4"

• Storm Front: "She was not a tall woman"
  
• Grave Peril: "Bianca wasn't tall" (...) "rather unimpressive height"
  

Paolo Ortega - maybe 5'7"-6'0"

• Death Masks: "average height"

Arianna Ortega - maybe 5'8" or taller

• Changes: "Tall."

Faerie

• Cold Days: "The Sidhe are tall, generally speaking"

Mab - varying, usually over 6'0"

• Changes: "Queen Mab, I presumed, and noted that she was actually a couple of inches shorter than my godmother. Of course, especially in a place like this, Mab could be as gargantuan or Lilliputian as she chose."
  
• Cold Days: "She was a tall woman, well over six feet, and every inch was radiance."
  
• Skin Game: "She was several inches over six feet tall, and barely had to reach up to take my earlobe in her fingers."
  
• Battle Ground: "She was at her human-disguise height, a little less than a foot shorter than me"
  
• "Christmas Eve": "Queen Mab was as tall as me tonight--it changed, based upon her mood and her intentions."
  
• "The Law": "a woman well over six feet tall"
  

Leanansidhe - maybe 6'1"-6'8", possibly varying

• Grave Peril: "A very tall, slender, inhumanly beautiful woman"
  
• Summer Knight: "Lea stood nearly [Harry's (6'8"-6'9")] own height" (Lea and Harry are not on completely even ground, and I don't know if this affects the description of her height.)
  
• Proven Guilty: "a tall, inhumanly lovely woman"
  
• Changes: "tall"
  
• Ghost Story: "tall"
  
• "Bombshells": "She was a woman, taller than [Molly (5'10"-5'11")]"
  

Maeve - about 5'10"

• Summer Knight: "A tall girl"
  
• Cold Days: "She was tallish, for a girl, maybe five-ten"
  

Sarissa - probably about 5'10" (assuming parity with Maeve)

• Cold Days: "Hell's bells, [you and Maeve are] identical twins"

Santa Claus ("Kringle") - taller than 7'0"

• Cold Days: "Two more figures approached us, both of them over seven feet tall"
  
• Skin Game: "He was a big man by every definition of the word, tall and strong and solid, with a barrel for a chest and a smaller keg of a belly to go with it."
  
• "Christmas Eve": "a tall, burly man"
  
• "The Good People": "A tall, lean man"
  

Redcap - maybe 6'0"-6'6"

• Battle Ground: "tall and lean"

Titania - varying

• Cold Days: I would have sworn to you that it was Mab standing there. Seriously. They didn’t look like sisters. They looked like clones.
  
• Battle Ground: "Titania, faced Ethniu, eye to eye, standing as tall as the Titan"
  

Aurora - maybe 5'10" (assuming parity with Maeve)

• Summer Knight (Disguise): She was five nothing, a hundred and nothing,
  
• Summer Knight (Summer Lady): her fingers and limbs suddenly seemed slightly longer, and her features became almost identical to Maeve's
  

Lily - ???

• (No specific references. Likely not so especially tall or short as to warrant mention. Possibly about 5'10" given the heights of the other SummeWinter ladies.)
  
• Proven Guilty: "But, like Fix, she had grown; not physically"
  

Fix - initially about 5'3"-5'4", later around 5'9"

• Summer Knight: "The small, skinny man"
  
• Proven Guilty: "Fix had grown, and I mean that literally. He’d been about five foot three, maybe an inch or so higher. Now he had towered up to at least five nine."
  
• Small Favor: "Fix was a young, slender man of medium height."
  
• Cold Days: "a slender man, a bit below average height"
  
• Peace Talks: "a wiry little guy"
  

The Erlking - varying, but usually taller than 7'0"

• Dead Beat: "a tall, standing figure" (...) "The Erlking stood better than eight feet high."
  
• Changes: "He was huge, nine feet tall at least"
  
• Cold Days: "Two more figures approached us, both of them over seven feet tall"
  
• Battle Ground: "taller than human" (...) "The past few times I’d seen him, he’d been really big and really scary. Now he was more like regular human size: He could have passed for a particularly large and graceful professional athlete."
  

Eldest Gruff - 5'0"-5'2"

• Small Favor: "He was five feet tall. Five-two, tops."
  
• Cold Days: "wasn’t much more than five feet tall"
  

Toot-Toot Minimus: (Initially) about 0'6"; (as of Battle Ground) about 2'6"

• Storm Front: "Toot was maybe six inches tall."
  
• Summer Knight: "Toot stood about six inches tall"
  
• Small Favor: "he must have been twice as tall as the last time we’d spoken"
  
• Turn Coat: "stood no less than a towering twelve inches high"
  
• Changes: "nearly fifteen full inches in height"
  
• Cold Days: "Their leader, the largest of them, was maybe eighteen inches tall"
  
• Battle Ground: "He might have cut a very impressive figure if he’d been more than about thirty inches tall"
  

Lacuna: (Initially) about 1'4"-1'5"; (as of Battle Ground) about 2'3"-2'5"

• Cold Days: "almost as tall as [Toot-Toot (about 1'6")] was"
  
• Battle Ground: "almost Toot’s size"
  

Unseelie Accords Members (and Kincaid)

The Archive ("Ivy") - still growing(?)

• (Ivy should be just about 18 years old as of Peace Talks, so she may actually be done growing. Hypothetically, if her height percentile of 74 continued to hold true, she'd be almost 5'6".)
  
• Death Masks: "'My feet don't reach the pedals.'"
  
• Small Favor: "She’d grown more than a foot since the last time I’d seen her" (...) "'“I am not a midget... I am in the seventy-fourth percentile for height for my age (about 11/12 years old)'"
  
• "Goodbye": "'My feet reach the pedals, now'"
  
• Battle Ground: "She looked like a girl, not terribly remarkable in any way"
  

Jared Kincaid - about 6'6"-6'8"

• Death Masks: "He was nearly as tall as me but looked a lot more solid"
  
• Blood Rites: "He was a big guy, almost my own height"
  
• Small Favor: "of a height with Michael (about 6'6"-6'7")"
  

Donar Vadderung - about 6'11" or taller

• Changes: "Though the big man hadn't stood up, I realized that he was big. Damned near a giant, really. Standing, he'd have more than a couple inches on me, and his shoulders made mine look about as wide as the spine of a book." (...) "tall and lean"
  
• Cold Days: "well over six feet tall"
  
• Peace Talks: "a tall, muscular man"
  

Hugin & Munin - maybe 5'8" or taller

• Changes: "twins"
  
• Peace Talks: "a tall woman" (...) "honestly I couldn’t tell them apart"
  

Ferrovax (Human Form) - maybe 6'9" or taller

• Peace Talks: "A very tall, very large man"

Etri - about 4'6"

• "Bombshells": "small man" (...) "maybe four-six"
  
• Peace Talks: "taller than Austri ('small')" (...) "his diminutive natural form"
  

Evanna - about 4'6"

• Peace Talks: "six inches shorter than Karrin (5'0")"

River Shoulders - about 9'0" or taller

• "B is for Bigfoot": "The thing was huge. I mean, just saying that it was nine feet tall wasn’t enough."
  
• "My Life as a Teenage Bigfoot": "a massive form"
  
• "Bigfoot on Campus": "nine feet tall at least"
  
• Peace Talks: "a solid nine feet and change"
  
• Battle Ground: "enormous"
  

Carter LaChaise - ???

• Peace Talks (Human Form) - "burly man"

Misc. Supernatural Parties

Susan Rodriguez - about 5'9"

• Storm Front: "a woman of average height"
  
• Fool Moon: "a tall, lovely woman" (...) "tall in her heels and dress suit"
  
• Changes: "She was a woman of medium height, which meant she was about a foot shorter than me." (...) "Five-nine, long legs"
  

Martin - about 5'9"

• Death Masks: "He was maybe five nine"

McAnally ("Mac") - about 6'0"

• Storm Front: "Mac is a tall, almost gangly man"
  
• Death Masks: "He was tall, medium build"
  
• Dead Beat: "He was a tall, spare man"
  
• White Night: "He's a spare man, a little taller than average"
  
• Changes: "Mac is a man of medium height and medium build"
  
• Cold Days: "a lean man a little taller than average"
  
• Battle Ground: "around six feet tall"
  

Elaine Mallory - maybe 5'8" or taller

• Summer Knight: "She was tall enough that it wasn't much of an effort for her to kiss my cheek"
  
• White Night: "She had a slim build, all long legs and long arms" (...) "We walked together, quickly. Elaine was tall enough to keep up with me without taking the occasional skipping step."
  

Mortimer Lindquist - about 5'5" or shorter

• Grave Peril: "The little man"
  
• Dead Beat: "He was short" (...) "The little man"
  
• Ghost Story: "He was in his early fifties, under five and a half feet tall"
  

Earnest Armand Tinwhistle ("Binder") - maybe 5'7"-6'0"

• Turn Coat: "He was average height"
  
• Skin Game: "a bald, blocky man of medium height"
  

Goodman Grey - maybe 5'7"-6'0"

• Skin Game: "medium height"
  
• Peace Talks: "average height" (...) "a man of medium height and build"
  

Viti - maybe 5'3"-5'6"

• "Monsters": "average height"

Irwin Pounder - about 7'1" or taller

• "Bigfoot on Campus": "huge" (...) "a head taller than [Helena Pounder (6'4")]" (...) " wasn’t finished growing" (...) "at least my own height"
  
• "Job Placement": "an over-seven-foot guy"
  

Connie Barrowill - about 5'6"

• "Bigfoot on Campus": "about five foot six"

The Circle / Black Council

Cowl - ???

• (No specific references. Likely not so especially tall or short as to warrant mention. Perhaps taller than average.)
  
• Dead Beat: "[Cowl] was taller than [Kumori]"
  

Kumori - ???

• (No specific references. Likely not so especially tall or short as to warrant mention, but she is tall enough to hold a knife to Harry's throat, so she probably isn't short.)
  
• Dead Beat: "[Cowl] was taller than [Kumori]" (...) "I drew back the staff for another blow—but then someone pressed against my back, fingers tightened in my hair, and I felt the cold, deadly edge of a knife at my throat." (...) "She was stretched out quite a bit to be pulling my hair and holding the knife, but she'd done it right."
  

Ethniu - about 9'0"

• Peace Talks: "she was taller than Corb"
  
• Battle Ground: "nine feet of terrible bronze beauty" (...) "She was a nine-foot protogoddess"
  

King Corb - about 7'10"-7'11"

• Peace Talks: "nearly eight feet in height"

Listen - maybe 5'7"-6'0"

• "Bombshells": "middling height"
  
• Peace Talks: "medium-sized, of innocuous build"
  

Other

Nick Christian - maybe 5'6" or shorter

• "A Restoration of Faith": "his stocky bulk"
  
• Ghost Story: "He was short, out of shape"
  

Rawlins - maybe 6'0"-6'6"

• Proven Guilty: "The cop was a large black man"
  
• Small Favor: "blocky"
  
• Turn Coat: "blocky"
  

Jerome Rudoloph - "maybe 5'9"-6'0"

• Peace Talks: "He was on the tall side of medium height"
  
• Battle Ground: "tall and built light"
  

Paranoid Gary - man idk
(Gary is only seen sitting in both of his appearances. He's described as skinny and lean, but not small, so he might be medium height.)

• Battle Ground: "skinny" (...) "narrow shoulders"
  
• "The Law": "a lean kid"
  

Anna Valmont - maybe 5'3"-5'6"

• Death Masks: "of average height and build"

Margaret LeFay - about 5'11"

• Blood Rites (Thomas soulgaze): "She was a tall woman, nearly six feet, and that was in flat sandals."

Malcom Dresden: maybe 6'8"-6'9"?

• Blood Rites: "As are you, Harry. So tall, like your father."
  
• Dead Beat: "Malcolm Dresden was a tall, spare man"