We met ~3,5 years (7 semesters) ago at our university during his orientation week. I will spare you the details of how exactly we met. We basically flirted for 1,5 years before one of us (let's call him Chris) was brave enough to ask for a date. My strategy was to play wordl with him. It gave us an excuse to start texting eachother everyday. I liked his humour and even when the jokes were bad somehow I found them hilarious. We had a nice understanding of eachother and talking to him always felt like a safe space. I never dated anyone before because I never believed that anyone would be romantically interested in me. I would say that I am boyish. Most of my close friends are male and I do feel more comfortable around them than around other women. I study mechanical engineering. At my university about 15% of the mechanical engineering students identify as women. I saw myself as one of the boys so I never imagined that someone would like me like that. At that time I was so excited that someone that I liked also liked me back but now I was stepping into unknown terrain. Both of us did not know what to expect since both of us had never been in this situation before. On our "dates" we would just talk like before but there was an awkwardness hanging in the air. We would adress the awkwardness, how it felt stuck and how we did not know what this new situation even meant. He was patient but..I was so scared to mess it up that I was frozen and didn't let anything happened. I was heartbroken but not surprised when after two months he said he wanted to go back to being friends like before. And that's what we did. I did not want to loose a companion like him and I settled for friends. I thought that in time I would get over him. And I think I did. We would hang out once in a while and each time I was more convinced that I had gotten over the heartbreak. A few months had passed and I met a guy (Jeff, 24M) that I knew briefly from an university event 3 years earlier. We talked and hit it off. I had gained a bit of confidence since now I knew that it was possible for people to be interested in me. I asked out Jeff. I was ready to take on this new challenge. And it was fun flirting. It was less awkward with Jeff and we progressed more like I imagined couples would. In the end it did not work out with Jeff. We dated for a year in which i was away for six months and even before I left I was unsure of how I felt about Jeff. I thought that maybe long distance made me forget him but when I got back and I was not excited to see him I decided to break up. It felt freeing. When I returned Chris had contacted me and wanted to meet up. We barely had contact when I was away. While I dated Jeff, Chris also had been seeing other people. So I thought that we had really gone back to just friends. It also had been almost 2 years since "dated". Ever since I had gotten back from being abroad Chris and I have been meeting up and texting more and more frequently. My parents are immigrants and we speak a different language at home. I had briefly mentioned before that I worry that my parents would not approve a partner that is not from our culture and does not speak our language. Chris has started studying my mother tongue recently. It is not a common language that people study like spanish or french. My delusional brain tells me it is so I would not have to worry if we were together. Well at least it was one of the first thoughts I had when Chris told me. This is when I really started to question if I had ever gotten over Chris or whether I am falling for him again. Recently we have gotten into wordl, again. We always do them at midnight after that we would text a bit and wish eachother good night. I tried to confide in my best friend but he refuses to give me any input and advises me against it without a satisfying reason, quote:" there are plenty fish". BUT I really like this fish. Am I just refusing to listen to reason? I haven't had the courage to talk to other friends about it because I fear they will also advice me against it. This tells me that somehow I also believe it would not work out. One of my theories is that I am almost done with my studies and I probably will leave the city around end of this year. My last relationship did not end bc of the long distance but it definetly did not help. I fear it's fear.😅 I dont know what to do. What if he is just glad I am back? I fear that if I confessed my new/old feelings I will loose him. I just want to know what's wrong with me. Why am I so scared? Other people seem to be able to confess their feelings so well. I would really appreciate an outside perspective on my situation. Thank you!♥️

This is per an experience my friend had —
He was joking around with his friends and in some process shook his head while looking up at the lightbulbs. One of the lightbulbs suddenly looked green, then when he stopped shaking his head, it looked like its normal color again. He shook his head again just to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating, and sure enough, the one bulb looked green. He came back to the same place the next day and retried the “experiment” per se to get the same observations. Later, he got ahold of the same lightbulb and tried the experiment again but this time, by shaking a high speed camera and taking pictures with it. The camera, sure enough, saw the lightbulb turn green, but this time, alternating between green and purple.
I vaguely heard that it doesn’t work with LED bulbs. He also tried this experiment in multiple places and wasn’t able to find the bulbs he was looking for often.
Why did this happen? Is there a known phenomenon for this?

My bfs friend in my opinion is really freaking rude and he just makes excuses for her. First she makes jokes putting me and my bf down and he says it doesn’t bother him but it bothers me that she makes jokes putting down him and me. She once made fun of me of my studer while on stream I hated it and my bf understood but says she just did it mean it like that. Then today she asked if we were gonna play the game we play with her but me and my bf are very busy trying to get our house together and it’s been really stressful. So we said we weren’t able to for like a week and she said “what the hell” and if stopped at that I would be fine but then she said “that’s so messed up” and I’m like ok chill then the final straw was after my bf explained everything we were doing she said “get your shit together.” At this point I got pissed and told my bf it’s not ok then he said she didn’t mean it that way that she was just joking. I asked him if it bothered him and he said nope it’s fine she didn’t mean it that way. I was upset and he asked her if she meant it in a rude way she said “not really.” And that meant she did mean it rude at least a little and it still didn’t bother him and now it’s bother me that he’s not bothered he’s known her for 10 years and so he says he knows she’s just trying to joke I asked him if any of his other friends would joke like that but she’s just quote on quote awkward but I’m the most awkward person out there and I would never say something like that but he just doesn’t care and now I’m mad at him for not caring I told him he shouldn’t just not be friends but tell her she’s a little rude sometimes but he says it just doesn’t bother him and that he doesn’t care I think she’s being toxic and I’m upset because he doesn’t care but I do, should I just not care like he dose?

Exfiltration

[A/N: This chapter beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]
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Mik
“Papa Juliet calling Mike Whiskey. I’m in. Guy says she’s in room one-zero-three-eight, do you copy?”
“I copy one zero three eight,” Mik replied quietly. She looked up at the room numbers and noted that she was at least on the correct floor. “Going there now, over.”
It was a good thing that even evil corporate secret facilities had their safety procedures. As she jogged along the corridor in what she thought was the right direction, she spotted an evacuation map of the facility, complete with room numbers. Studying the plan for a moment, she traced out a path, memorised it, then took off running.
Although people fresh from Earth often complained how hard it was to maintain a good running speed on Mars due to lack of traction, Mik had no such problems indoors. The floors weren’t the best for cornering on, but she saw no issue in running halfway up the wall to kick off in the direction she wanted to go. Her enhanced vestibular systems aided considerably in keeping her balance, no matter where her feet were placed at the time.
Now that she knew where she was going, she reached the corridor that she needed in less than a minute. But then she encountered something that wasn’t a barrier as such, but certainly caused her to think twice about what was going on.
At first glance, there was little to worry about. What she’d found was an airlock of a make and model ubiquitous to half the buildings on Mars. Given that the outside atmosphere of Mars could only be survived by one person currently on the surface of the planet, the presence of an airlock would normally have been easy to explain away as an essential safety precaution.
What gave Mik pause was the fact that the airlock was inside the building, and in fact was between her and the person she was here to rescue. This made her ask herself a very specific question:
Which side of this airlock is expected to be depressurised, and why?
There was only one logical answer, and it did nothing for her peace of mind. If she was reading the signs correctly, the person behind Dani’s abduction and subsequent imprisonment was willing to set up a lethal situation for their captive, as a last-ditch screw-you to Mik. They probably wouldn’t kill her immediately, but if Mik tried to get her out, it would go from zero to fatal in very little time indeed. And in fact, if the airlock was code-locked on the other side, it would also serve to lock Mik into the area, allowing Cyberon to simply walk in and scoop her up at their leisure.
If I keep going, I’ll be trapped and she dies no matter what. Cyberon security’s probably on the way, so Pete might not be able to get us both out in time. If we pull back, they might decide she’s no use as bait, and kill her anyway. Bad end, do not want.
Okay, so I’ve seen the trap. How do I turn it around?
*****
Dani
The cell was cold, the floor hard to sleep on, and the ration bars they’d been feeding her tasted like salted sawdust, but that wasn’t the worst part. Dani had been uncomfortable before; some of the places her father had worked had lacked many civilised creature comforts. But she’d had friendly company and she’d been able to keep track of what was going on in the larger world.
Here, she had neither.
She wasn’t sure if it was deliberate torture or just a total lack of caring about her wellbeing, but the lighting outside the Perspex panel that fronted her cell never varied. Neither dim nor overbright, it was just constant. They’d taken her watch at the same time as they’d sequestered the rest of her belongings and shoved her into an anonymous coverall, so she had no way of keeping track of time, except by way of her biological rhythms and the delivery of the food rations (which in itself was worryingly irregular, like they kept forgetting that she needed to eat).
Even the Suit, as she called him (she didn’t have a name for him, but she had a huge number of highly unflattering descriptors for him) hadn’t shown up in some time. At first, she’d been able to mark off the days in her mind by his visits, either gloating over how Mik was going to walk straight into his trap or attempting to interrogate her about Mik’s habits and potential actions. She’d done her best to give him no joy either way, which in hindsight was possibly a mistake, as he didn’t visit at all these days.
All she got was a guy walking past the cell every few hours and glancing in to make sure she hadn’t miraculously dismantled the lock and spirited herself out of the building. They didn’t talk to her, even when she called out and tried to open lines of communication. She knew they could hear her, but their faces just closed off and they walked on.
It had been days, maybe weeks, she was sure of that much. A month, even two? She couldn’t be sure. A couple of times she dreamed she’d been rescued, that the wall of the cell had just opened up and she’d walked out; the emotional crashes, when she woke and discovered the reality of the situation, had been devastating. Pretty soon, she figured, she’d be hallucinating even when she was awake, and it just wouldn’t matter anymore.
So, when she saw Mik herself step into view in front of the cell, wearing her usual t-shirt and jeans and heavy boots, along with a badass-looking long-coat, she didn’t even react at first. Either it was someone else and her eyes were playing tricks on her, or she was asleep and dreaming the whole thing, or her mind had finally cracked. Didn’t matter; Mik wasn’t there.
She waited for the apparition of her friend to morph into one of the guards or to evaporate altogether, or maybe rip the door off its runners, but none of that happened. Instead, Mik examined the lock and frowned. Then she pulled out a notebook and pencil—pens had a really hard time working in vacuum, so Mik always went old-school when it came to passing notes—and scribbled something.
Dani had never been able to read a damn thing in a dream. The words and letters always came jumbled up, probably because reading was a logical thing and dreams were by their nature illogical. So, she was fully prepared for whatever the note showed to be pure gibberish.
Instead, to her surprise, it was totally readable. NO AIR OUT HERE. NEED U TO PREP FOR DECOMPRESS, CLOSE EYES. WILL OPEN DOOR, GET U OUT. DO U TRUST ME?
She read it through several times, trying to make sense of it. Mik was still standing there, waiting, though she’d glanced from side to side a couple of times. The writing on the notepad was holding steady, not changing to something else.
Is this real? Is this actually happening?
Tears sprang to her eyes as she first began to allow herself to consider the concept. She tried to keep herself under control; every other time she’d believed she was getting out, her expectations had been cruelly dashed. But she could read the note. She could read the note.
Climbing painfully to her feet—there was little chance for exercise in the cell, and the nutrient bars didn’t leave her with much in the way of excess energy—she went over to the Perspex panel that served as a door. “Are you real?” she asked, putting her hand on the panel. “Are you really there?”
Mik nodded, then flipped a page and scribbled some more. IM REAL. IM GETTING U OUT OF THERE. DO U TRUST ME? Then she tore the page from the pad and dropped it.
Instead of fluttering lazily to the ground—under Martian gravity, it always took even longer than it did on Earth—it fell straight down, at the standard three point seven one metres per second per second.
Okay, that’s not something a hallucination would bring up. There’s only Martian air pressure out there. She’d had dreams of walking unprotected on the surface of Mars. The human brain couldn’t create the consequences of low air pressure out of whole cloth. That was a leap of logic that it couldn’t make.
Dani took a deep breath and nodded. “I trust you,” she said, aware that Mik was practised at reading lips. “I just don’t know how long I can go without air.” Attempting to hold one’s breath in vacuum or near-vacuum, she knew, was a recipe for ruptured lungs. “Should I hyperventilate?”
Instead of writing more notes, Mik made the hand gesture for ‘no time’, then pointed at her first note. Dani nodded, then stepped back. Closing her eyes, she opened her mouth, working her jaw to allow her ear canals to connect to her sinus cavities.
She heard it when the door began to open, the thin high screech of escaping air, deepening to a rumble as the air pressure dropped. Her ears popped, then popped again as she kept working her jaw. Air flowed out of her lungs, then an involuntary belch joined it.
Her skin prickled and her eyes were uncomfortable behind her tightly closed eyelids, but she didn’t dare open them. Micro-pressure did nasty things to exposed eyeballs; they didn’t pop (that was something even the stupidest of space dramas didn’t do anymore), but the sheen of tears on the exterior surface had been known to freeze or evaporate, neither of which was good for the eye.
Pressure was building unpleasantly in her gut, and she did her best to relax her sphincters. Another burp was followed by a small frrrt, and she silently blessed the fact that the nutrient bars were designed for vacuum workers, who didn’t want to share their EVA suits with abdominal gases.
And then a mouthpiece was pressed over her face, and air flowed into her lungs. Reaching up, she grabbed the pony bottle, amazed that she’d actually forgotten how Mik carried it everywhere. Once she had it, Mik let go and grabbed her arm, urging her forward.
Under the guidance of her friend, she stumbled out of the cell then turned left. They moved as fast as she was able, though she had to keep her eyes closed. How Mik had even gotten there, and what the plan was to get her out, she wasn’t sure, but she trusted Mik implicitly.
They went down the length of one corridor and then another one, much farther than she would’ve been able to go with her eyes closed and no air. Alone, she would’ve stumbled aimlessly until she died. Then they entered what she figured was an airlock, the supposition borne out when a door closed behind them and the air pressure started rising again.
When she felt it was safe, she opened her eyes and handed the pony bottle back to Mik. “Th-thanks,” she rasped, her voice rusty from disuse. “You came back. I didn’t know if you would.”
“It’s been a month, let me tell you,” Mik said lightly. “I had to get reinforcements, but here I am.”
Something clanked at floor level, and Dani looked down to see that Mik had just knocked over a bucket. “Okay,” she asked. “What’s a bucket doing in an airlock?”
“Holding the inner door open so nobody can remotely shut it behind me,” Mik explained. The other airlock door opened, and she stepped out. “C’mon, we’ve got places to be.”
Dani followed along. Her joints still felt creaky and stiff, but she was damned if she was going to slow Mik down now. “Where’d you go for reinforcements? Tharsis? Wouldn’t they just send stern memos to Cyberon or something?”
“Yeah, that’s why I didn’t go to them.” As Mik and Dani turned a corner, Dani saw two of the guards on the ground, along with a third one in an EVA suit, and a fourth person in an EVA suit standing over them with a metal bar in his hand. “Hey, we’re ready to suit up and go.”
The standing man flipped up his faceplate. “Good. The suit’s just outside. I’ll keep watching these clowns while you go get it.”
“On it.” Mik tipped Dani a wink, then ducked out through the airlock. A moment later, she was back, bringing a suit in Dani’s size.
“I was wondering how you were going to get me out of here.” Dani didn’t waste time, starting to haul on the suit even as she addressed Mik. She didn’t know the guy, but if Mik trusted him, she was willing to as well.
“It was either this or terraform the whole planet so you could just walk out normally, and terraforming was taking too long.” Mik eyed the guards unfavourably. “How badly were these assholes treating you?”
“They didn’t hit me or anything,” Dani said. “Just fed me and watched me. It was their boss who said all the nasty stuff about how you were gonna fall in his trap.”
“Mm.” Mik looked like she didn’t want to drop the matter, but the guy put his hand on her shoulder and she subsided. “Okay, then. Ready to go?”
“Nearly.” Dani locked her helmet in place, then triggered the oxygen flow. The telltales showed up green, so she nodded and gave the thumb-to-forefinger all-good gesture.
The guy with Mik flipped down his faceplate, and all three of them stepped into the airlock. It was a tight squeeze but Mik was skinny, and Dani didn’t take up much room even in a suit. “We’re going to have to move fast,” the guy said over her radio. “I have a feeling Cyberon security is incoming with everything they’ve got.”
“Yeah, no crap.” That was definitely Mik. “Just by the way: Pete, meet Dani; Dani, meet Pete.”
“Pleased to meet you,” Pete added. “Lieutenant Pete Janssen, Orbital Rescue, at your service.”
Even while Dani was trying to figure out what an Orbital Rescue pilot was doing on the surface of Mars, the airlock opened and they hustled out. The surrounding terrain was the very opposite of flat, and Dani had no idea which way to go. And then Mik’s eyes opened wide and she turned her head, looking up into the sky.
“Lander,” she said. “I can hear it coming in.”
Dani had very little experience with matters like this, but she had an idea what was coming next anyway. “They’ll be bringing in ground troops, won’t they? Looking for us?”
“Got it in one.” Mik started off into the rocks. “We have to get to the ’hopper before they catch up with us.”
“Copy that, princess.” Pete hooked one arm under Dani’s. “Let’s get moving.”
Dani had thought the nightmare was over but as she discovered, it was just beginning. Even with Pete and Mik helping her up and over the obstacles in their way, she quickly ran out of energy. Fear-generated adrenaline was well and good, but it had its limits, and her arms and legs were soon powerless noodles.
“Leave me,” she begged. “They’ll catch you, and this’ll all be for nothing.”
“And if we leave you, it’ll also be for nothing,” Mik told her grimly. “I had to do it once. It’s not happening a second time.”
“Take her,” Pete said. “I’ll go and draw them off. Even if they catch me—”
Mik cut him off. “If they can’t use you to get us back, they’ll kill you. You take her, you’re stronger than me. If they’ve got guns, which I’m pretty sure they do, they’re less likely to shoot at me than you. I’ll meet you at the ’hopper.”
Not giving Pete the option to argue, she let go Dani’s arm and vanished into the chaotic terrain.
“Wait—” began Pete, then swore. “Dammit! Okay fine, she’s not giving us a choice. Let’s get you to the ’hopper.”
As they moved off, Dani had to ask the question. “Why did you call her princess, earlier?”
“Well, she’d just told us her story, and I made a joke …”
*****
Mik
The security troopers were good at moving in EVA suits, and they definitely had guns. There were also a lot of them, which was going to make this tricky as hell. Still, Mik had a few advantages on her side, some of which they hopefully didn’t know about.
She peered around a rocky outcrop at a bunch of them, who were conferring over some kind of digital map. If they wanted to use that thing to make any kind of straight path through this labyrinth of Martian terrain, they had to be dreaming. The trouble was, if they just pushed forward en masse, they could comb every last hiding place, no matter how tricky she was. Which was why she had to pull them away from the ‘logical thinking’ mindset and into the ‘chase me’ mindset.
Picking up a friable-looking rock, she stepped into view, then hurled her missile directly at the faceplate of one of the troopers facing her. It burst on impact, leaving a cloud of dust behind. Before they could bring their guns to bear, she ducked out of sight again, heading down a twisting, turning alleyway of rock. Her natural agility and balance made up for the uneven footing, allowing her to move much faster than the troopers behind her.
The call would be going out now, converging every security trooper in the area on that spot. This included any of them that might’ve been on course to discover the rille where she and Pete had hidden the rock-hopper. If they were chasing her, they weren’t going after anyone else.
She paused after a minute or so of movement, listening hard and with her hands on the rocks on either side. Sound didn’t travel well in this atmosphere, though her ears were attuned to pick up what little there was. Vibrations through the ground were sometimes more useful, and she fancied she could feel the security troops coming her way, just as much as she could hear the scuffing and stumbling among the chaotically tumbled boulders.
The next time she nailed someone in the faceplate with a rock, one of the troopers shot at her. It didn’t come close enough to worry her, though the whole experience of being shot at in general was a new and unpleasant one. She got her target, though, dusting the man plus his comrades with the ever-present fines. The fewer of her pursuers who could see properly, the better.
And then Pete’s voice crackled in her mastoid earpiece. “We’re at the ’hopper. Want a pickup?”
“No, don’t,” she replied, talking quietly into the mouthpiece even though she knew the troopers couldn’t hear her. “They’ll shoot you out of the sky. Hold tight, I’m coming to you.”
A dozen troopers looked around in surprise as she jumped out of concealment almost within arm’s reach. She was holding two large rocks that she’d selected carefully, each one with the consistency of chalk. Both left her hands even before her feet hit the ground; not aimed at the troopers, they instead hit the rocks on either side. A great cloud of fines billowed over all of the troopers, but she wasn’t waiting around for it to dissipate.
There was a nice straight pathway for her to retreat down, but she didn’t take it. Instead, she ducked into the first niche she found that was barely large enough to take her, and flipped up the hood of the long-coat so that it covered her head. Thus concealed, facing the rock and holding still, she hopefully looked like part of the landscape.
She both heard and felt the rush of booted feet behind her; yelling inside their helmets so loudly that she heard that too. Thirty seconds ticked by in her head, and there were no stragglers following along. Cautiously, she peered out from behind the coat. She was alone.
By now there would be enough troopers spread through the chaotic terrain for false sightings to be happening on the regular, and in fact she heard a few random shots here and there which bore out that idea. But that wasn’t her problem, so she slipped unseen through the dragnet until she came to the rille. Jumping from foothold to foothold, she descended to where Pete and Dani were just getting settled on the rock-hopper.
“Oh, good,” Pete said. “You’re here. I was starting to worry.”
“Can we go now?” asked Dani plaintively. “I just want to get out of here.”
“We can,” Mik confirmed, scrambling up onto the rock-hopper and strapping herself into the middle seat, which had been installed by the crusty McPherson. She flicked the wake-up switch on the flight control computer (also supplied by McPherson), then activated the controls and lit off the attitude rockets. Slowly, then with more power as she fed fuel to the main rocket, the rock-hopper climbed into the air.
“Straight back up to the ship?” asked Pete hopefully.
“Not quite,” Mik said. “They’ve almost certainly got ships up there that can shoot us down if they see us coming up out of their area of interest, so we’re going to have to stay low for the moment until we get out from under their umbrella. Our best chance for doing that is to leave their turf altogether.”
Angling the rock-hopper eastward, she applied more thrust, and they shot away across the tumbled landscape.
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[A/N: And we’re coming to a head. The next chapter or two should see the end of this run of the adventures of Mik Wallace, Martian Walker. That’s not to say it’ll be the end of the story, but it’ll be the end of the origin story.]

hey there - long time lurker first time poster. Not really sure where to go, what to do, so here I am.
This is an extension of my consciousness so I'm sorry for the word vomit and thank you in advance.
I feel like I've been in this weird phase of ..what started as a quarter life crisis..and has morphed into a mid life crisis.
I've worked in tech/consulting since 2010, in a series of progressive roles, from analyst to VP, averaging $300k-$400k for the last 7 years.
In 2018 I quit consulting to go back to b school to get an MBA, took a role as a VP, in 2020, and I quit a month ago. Straight quit, I walked away from around $200k in commission & w/out having another job lined up, essentially told my CEO to fuck off, I was just absolutely burned out from the company, the role, the people, the whole "working remote" and "zoom" culture, the transactional nature of the role, and transparently I felt like a "hired mercenary", selling software I really didn't believe in but it paid well, and I knew how to sell, so I did it.
I live in a nice house in a nice community, I'm married to an amazing && beautiful woman, I drive a porsche, no consumer debt, $$ in the bank, an MBA from a tier 1 school.
I started doing BJJ around in 2020 because life started "feeling easy", which has helped to an extent w/ my mental state, but I don't know what to do now. I feel stuck. I feel like I can do anything, but i dont know what.
Whenever people/counselors/advisors ask me what do i want to do, the only thing i can respond with is a list of things I absolutely won't do & hate (similar to the aforementioned list).
Over the past month, I've found myself spending *a lot* of time reminiscing on my childhood (I was an only child, grew up poor, on welfare, etc.); I've been going to antique video game stores to buy/play nes/snes/genesis games, etc. Everytime I pick up a genesis game...in the box..with the manual, it puts a huge smile on my face. I love the 16bitness of it, noise, graphics, how they write about the characters in the manual. etc.
I feel like I'm going into this weird place where I'm craving the past, maybe because it signified the uncertainty, unknown and path of excitement of "whats to come" e.g. jr. high -> excitement of high school, high school -> going to college, college -> getting first $$$ job, getting an MBA -> becoming a Vp, etc. I feel like there are no surprises in life left, like unless I do something drastically different, this is it. I don't feel 'old', mentally i feel strong, physically I think i might be in the best shape of my life, but I am absolutely stuck in trying to figure out "whats next". LIke I have no idea what I want to do, the thought of going back into sales or consulting makes me want to stab my eyeballs out, I remember being 24 and wanting to be the CEO of a huge F500, now I cringe at the thought of it. It's a soul crushing experience.
BJJ is cool, I like doing it because it keeps me in shape, I hang out with young dudes who I can mentocoach in life & they can mentocoach me in BJJ, but I'm not delusional there is no $$ in that path.
Sometimes I joke with my wife about buying a farm, investing in an HVAC/plumbing company, and entering the workforce of people who use their hands to "do stuff", I respect those people so much, they are the backbone of America. My house would be up shit creek, no AC, no water, without these guys. I have mad admiration for them.
I have enough $$ until the end of the year to float our current lifestyle, at which point if i don't have a job it will be down to my wife's income (she is a product manager in tech). We can survive off of her income but it doesn't position us for 'growth' and transarently she's going to be bust my balls if i dont have a job/path/plan by then. My wife and I have been working from home together since COVID, i love her, shes an amazing co worker, but if I sit at home for the next 20 years she is going to kill me.
So i don't really know what to do. One of my friends said "for the first time in my life, I have an abundance of time to think/explore, and that is an uncomfortable feeling because you're not waking up with something to do".
Another told me: "neo, there is no spoon" <--- and this one hit me hard (it's a quote from the matrix for those who don't remember).
My friends think I'm doing well (although I think they're also unhappy), my peer's think I'm doing good and have a path to 'the top', my mom tells me to keep my head down and work, that I'm lucky, but I look at people our age e.g. mark Zuckerberg and think I am shitting the bed and missing the marks. They all think its insane that I'm comparing myself to him, but why not? he's approximately our age and has achieved more in life than I ever have.
I think ghost towns are interesting, I've visited some ghost towns over the past few weeks, I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for , but it's cool to see what life was like a generation before us and how people used to live.
I've been in the crypto space as a hobbiest for 5 years, have a low six figs in it, but the recent market action has made me extremely jaded on the premise of crypto as a hedge against the us dollar / debasement, i feel like its become another asset class of wallstreet that draws a lot of parallels to forex.
I don't have any kids, we've been trying for 4 years now, no luck. I think this a huge drag on me personally, i want to have kids, so does my wife. All of our friends have kids, all of them, except us. The whole IVF experience sounds incredibly unappealing and something neither of us want to do, so we're at a standstill for that. not sure how to proceed. When I go on LinkedIn & look at the 'recommended jobs' it presents to me, I want to throw my laptop out the window, VP of saas AI blah blah blah, salesforce consulting director blah blah blah, VP growth blah blah, all meaningless work, creating digital pieces of paper we push from one team to another, convincing others that these "web sites" we build are going to transform the world, when they're not. a generation from now one is going to give a shit about some back-end ERP software that "revolutionizes" the CPQ process.
Tomorrow I'm going to drive ~6 hours to an abandoned ghost town in nevada, then later in the week I'm going to visit some old friends from high school I haven't seen in many years, but I feel really really lost, more specifically I don't feel like I can spend the rest of my life "hanging out' like this, I need something to do.
so..i guess my question is, what do i do now?
Thanks for reading,
Lost millennial.

This episode is where some of the best acting is but also where some of the worst writing is. Also we gets the version of the Greens we will be sticking with for the remainder of the show for the first time. Let me delve into some points that will have a lot of intersection with my criticisms from last episode
-The episode starts with Corlys in a coma after offscreen fighting in the Stepstones. Vaemond and Rhaenys discuss the succession of Driftmark if things go for the worst. Like I said previously Vaemond’s actor is absolutely fantastic (if anybody knows of any other movies, shows or plays where his actor or Corlys appear in please let me know). While on my original watch I obviously agreed Luke has no basis to inherit Driftmark I opposed Vaemond trying to get it either, just because by succession rules normally for lords, it would go to a daughter and her descendants before uncle and therefore should go to Baela, though some people in this sub have brought up the argument that maybe as a Valyrian house they have slighty different succession. I absolutely sympathize more with Vaemond on rewatch, though I still get why people might see him as the standard usurping uncle
-We go to Jace who is really trying to learn Valyrian which to his credit does show at least he takes his duty as Prince seriously even if because of bastardy should not be eligible for the throne and unlike say Joffrey from the main series who for all his many faults actually thought he was Robert’s son, Jace clearly knows what’s up, and is actively contributing to his mother’s usurpation attempt
-Rhaenyra and Daemon gets the news of Vaemond’s petition, and discuss how now with Alicent and Otto in power after Viserys increasingly failing health, and Rhaenys holding being a bit upset with them to say the least after everything that has happened, Luke’s legitimacy might be put to question and by extension Jace’s. Am I supposed to feel sympathetic and worried for you? This is all your fault! She left court to the Greens instead of staying and establishing alliances. Again you could have been made Hand and Regent while Viserys was abed and basically start establishing yourself as ruler. Also you not only have obvious bastards which is an insult and makes a joke of House Velaryon while also as Rhaenys put it perfect putting right in the center of a political storm, but you also made her believe that you killed her own son. Any other House would have probably just outright rebelled against you or at least sided with the Greens, but these are the Velaryons, the House that is so powerful it is a Great House in all but name, but yet always playing as the sidekicks to Rhaenyra despite being established as their own power in their own right in the first half of the season. If she hadn’t fake killed Laenor, she might have even convinced Corlys to take Luke as a ward, and actually get him familiar with the sea and Driftmark. I just don’t get how even TB members that like Rhaenyra personally don’t just pull their hair at every horrible decision she does.
-The Blacks arrive back at the Red Keep. The Strong boys get to watch Aemond training with Cole (I just love Luke’s nervous look upon realization). It’s clear after the whole eye incident, that Aemond saw that his own father couldn’t care less and wouldn’t defend him, and that besides his mother he would have to stand on his own and defend himself, and get stronger both physically and mentally. Also again we are shown how more Faith of the Seven imagery is shown with the Greens, with after them getting into power adding in more religious heraldry. Also I love how people point to Alicent and Otto in control as them and their “evil scheming” without taking into note they have basically been running the realm, keeping it stable and prosperity.
-Dyana. This is always a awful point to talk about. Obviously it’s there to make Aegon look bad, at the same time that Aegon would never do this in the books is debatable, as some lines hint at him accosting servants as users like me and natla among others believe, but others interpret it as merely him having a affair with said servants. Still regardless of book canon and show runner intention, it is obvious this is awful. Some people just dismiss it as awful fan fiction, but I feel if you are engaging with the show as most users due, then you have to engage with its canon to an extent for better or worse. I think you can still believe Aegon is not the best person and is incredibly flawed while still believing, he absolutely has the best claim and the realm would be better with him as king. As to Dyana’s longer implications, some people theorize maybe she will turn into the show’s version of Esselyn, despite the moon tea which maybe it’s focus is supposed to either eliminate or highlight that possibility depending on how you see it. I really hope not though.
-Rhaenyra and Daemon visit Viserys, who for all of our opinions on him, is played by amazingly by Paddy who gives it his all this episode and who also the makeup department did fantastic job. We also get introduced to Aegon III and Viserys II. It does make me curious if they will most likely be recasted or if with the king shooting schedule in between seasons they will use them, since a important part is having the kids old enough to where Aegon leaves Viserys while on dragon back during the Gullet causing him great regret down the line, as well as later with him watching his mother being eaten.
-Rhaenyra and Rhaenys talk where in order for her to back Luke’s claim they would do a dual marriage with Jace and Baela and Luke and Rhaena. Now I have already given my opinion on how this change makes Velaryons previous unwavering support make no sense, and how honestly Corlys and Rhaenys would have already pushed for this realistically before. Something that should be noted is his Rhaenyra says “Jace and Baela son will rule”. This is just hilarious. I’m sure the writers just added it without thinking but it just shows how Rhaenyra sees herself as the exception rather than the feminist pioneer many fans make her out to be
-Rhaenyra just the night before the petitions talks to Viserys and of course talks to him about the Song of Ice and Fire. Now this is setup for one of the worst writing decisions ever, but let me just say, despite giving very little screentime with little redeeming qualities to the point Tom had to to ask give them to give his character more, these writers are so insecure about their golden protagonist they literally have to beat us over the head with this stupid prophecy that will lead nowhere in the end just to make her seem more important than she is. It’s bad enough we had 8 seasons worth of buildup that led to utter disappointment, do we really need more retroactive buildup to that end goal? The fans are literally giving you another chance after the Epitome of horrible endings in pop culture, I would think you would want to cultivate that good will and stay away from that reminder not double down on it. It’s honestly so stupid. Mind you with Jace at the wall and the leaks, it’s not going to be any better, so might as well just mentally prepare myself to roll my eyes with this.
-The petition are put into place between Vaemond and Luke. I have previously stated how originally I was against the race change for the Velaryons not out of some “aNti-wOkE” mentality (my opinion is quite the opposite, I think genres like sci-fi and fantasy are enriched by more representation) but because the Strong boys plotline as all about their physical appearance and how it doesn’t match their alleged father and of their house, and I think this change just completely removes any doubt to the point of entering comedic territory. Not only that but I think unintentionally it adds a very weird undertone where the framing is we are rooting the white guy to usurp one of the few if only prominent Black House in the story. I know that isn’t the intention and to be fair the concept of whiteness and race we have in our world doesn’t exist in Westeros, but still the undertone is there and because the framing is for the audience to root for Luke it is quite uncomfortable.
-Viserys walks in to the throne room, and again it is a spectacularly well acted scene by Paddy (how he didn’t get an Emmy I don’t know). While many in the audience will take this especially TB as Viserys standing up one last time for his daughter to defend what is right though, writing wise I analyze more as a poor man literally on the brink of death having to get up to defend her screw up daughter from the consequences of her own actions. Less charitable I know but I feel closer an interpretation to the truth.
-The Greens and the Blacks with Viserys are together for dinner at his insistence. He gives a well acted speech and we see him at his most vulnerable. It’s really nice. I I don’t mind maybe a more vulnerable scene or two between the factions especially before the storm. It’s when Alicent just stands up and says “you will make a great Queen” that I lost it… Again it was a great speech, but unless this is a D&D session, and Viserys that rolled a Nat 20, there should be no reason why Alicent just completely forgets everything that has happened so far. It’s one thing if maybe she finds it in her to forgive any person insults but after what happened to Aemond, that is absolutely ridiculous. I’m one of the main defenders of show Alicent and her more empathetic portrayal, but this is too far. Her just holding her arm and saying she just got here when she was about leave like some old college friend is just mind boggling. Maybe if they developed it over a couple of episodes with years passing in between, I could see how they might reach a more amicable standing if Viserys is still alive but literally after one speech I am supposed to believe all the buildup of the last episodes is a bygone? What a joke, though only second to the following
-Viserys moments before dying in delusion answers Rhaenyra’s question to Alicent about the whole prophecy and she misinterprets it as Aegon being chosen by Viserys. This is beyond stupid. They are basically solving a problem they just created. Why is this necessary? Alicent was already geared up to fight tooth and nail for Aegon’s claim you don’t need this misunderstanding. If you just remove the prior mistake I mentioned with Alicent now congratulating Rhaenyra on being a future Queen, then you wouldn’t need this. This misunderstanding completely undermines the complex legal dispute that this was is based on, and instead becomes a game of “he said, no wait he said”. The trailers already framing it as the Greens fighting because Viserys chose him, but that never the basis for their claim. Viserys could have chosen Butterbumps for all it matters, the eldest male claimant comes next in line. This just frames Aegon’s claim deriving from Viserys will, which obviously Rhaenyra from that standpoint the audience would know the truth. And it doesn’t even matter since next episode we see the Green Council already making preparations to crown Aegon without even knowing of this, so again it’s completely and utterly unnecessary and stupid. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was a last minute change, the writers came up after waking up before coffee and just added without s single second thought. This is clearly the episode that best epitomizes how HOTD strength is it’s acting not its writing. Trust me if we didn’t have talented actors frying the best to make it work it could be far worse but there is only so much they can do with this fanfiction levels of writing.
Listen I try to be positive and respectful, these screenwriters do work hard And again I actually most like show Alicent and think it an improvement over book version, but it’s decisions like this that just GOT season 8 vibes and it literally has just started.

I hope it helps y'all kill some time.

Gender relations are bleak, my friends. Like, "former Yugoslav states in the early 90's"-level bleak.
Necessary context: I went bald very young. I had the hairline of an overstressed, 50-year-old accountant just a couple years into puberty, and was completely bereft of hair by the time I was old enough to drink.
Premature baldness is almost always caused by heavier-than-average prenatal exposure to testosterone. This is one of God's cruelest jokes, because the condition tends to make men significantly hornier than average even as their appearance renders them unattractive to a large majority of younger women. It might seem like a joke to those who haven't gone through it, but the psychological toll from a combination of losing your hair and still wanting girls to like you is immense. I was deeply insecure throughout most of high school and didn't develop basic social skills until I was probably 16 or so.
But there was an upside: once I accepted my fate, I knew that in order to ever have a chance with women, I needed to take care of my body and cultivate a likeable personality. I had to work relatively hard to achieve some things that came much easier to more genetically gifted men. That was just the way it was: I could either deal with it or give up.
And so I worked. And worked. And, shit, working worked! I realize it's difficult for a heterosexual man to talk about romance-type stuff without coming off like a creep so please forgive me, but I've had a healthy sex life and am now married to a pretty and successful woman.
Okay, so the weekend before last, my wife and I attended a house party where were didn't know the vast majority of the people there. I'm not a social goon, but I am in my 40s and married, and, like nearly everyone else my age, I just haven't done much socializing with strangers since the pandemic. Still, the party went well. Got some laughs and some phone numbers (networking, not for sex stuff), didn't say anything that offended anyone, made sure not to talk about the Hasid tunnels in Brooklyn, etc etc.
Around midnight (that's late if you're old), a guy in his 30s comes up to me. He's balding. He is the kind of guy who, unlike me, most likely had a relatively easy time getting girls in high school and college and he doesn't know how to proceed now that effort is required. He is drunk and very open. He tells me he has no idea what to do, he was in a long term relationship that just ended six months ago and now he's worried he's never gonna find another woman who will accept his touch. He asked what I did to cope.
I responded honestly: at your age, 40-50% of women are gonna consider baldness a no-go, and you just have to accept that. Don't ruminate. Don't be bitter. Another 40-50% aren't gonna care much either way, but you're still gonna be at a bit of disadvantage so you need to work on the areas of your personality and appearance you can control. And then there's a solid 10% of women who are into it for various reasons, which is pretty cool. I stressed that fatalism leads to fatalities, that women find whininess unattractive, and suggested he start hitting the gym harder, paying more attention his wardrobe, and learning that sometimes you're just not gonna succeed but that doesn't mean you'll never succeed. Even 4-5 hours of effort per week will pay off.
It went wonderfully. I am terminally Irish American and so I can tell when a severely drunk man actually understands what you're saying to him and whether or not it's having a positive effect.
But, oh... oh no it did not go wonderfully, apparently. Because a woman in her twenties was off in my periphery while I was talking to the guy, doing the sort of movements that are not quite gesticulations that young women do when they want you to realize they're upset but don't want to directly let you know they're upset. I had noticed her. But I did not know her, and I assumed she was upset about the sort of thing young people get upset about at parties--lord knows what it was, but it was none of my business.
Well, no. She was a coworker of the guy to whom I was talking. She was listening to everything we were saying to one another and recorded some of it. I just found out today, through a friend of a friend, that she reported the man to HR for, quote, "receiving 'incel' advice." He doesn't think it will go anywhere because the conversation was heavily reviewed and the powers that be found that nothing offensive was said (because, indeed, nothing offensive was said). But, holy shit. Holy fuck. How in the name of our lord is a man--a man, mind you, who has sex--giving positive, pro-social advice to another man automatically register as a cancel-worth Incel Offense in the mind of a college-educated young woman?
This revelation has made me so angry and paranoid I feel the need to stress a few things: I said nothing that could reasonably be construed as PUA-ish or incel-adjacent. I did not tell him to neg women. I did not suggest that he wear a pair of Steampunk goggles. I did not launch into a diatribe about the evils of birth control or feminism. I just told him to try to stay positive, to not give up hope.
I have Larry David-type shit happen to me more often than anyone else I know, but this is seriously one of the most dispiriting events of the last few years of my life. I don't know how to proceed from here.

Dont fall for the distractions I had a dream about 3-4 months ago, i still remember it. I've been having this re occurring thought to share it, as it might help some. Although I'm nervous and scared of what people might say I have a deep strong feeling to share it, others have heard of this story and they might get tired of it because of how much I mentioned it, but the thought still doesn't get out of my head to tell it. I was in an empty room with what I though was my sister and we were playing some type of board game, I remember there was a black cloud behind her in the corner. The cloud was a mist and I could barely make out anything of it, i remember she had told me it was an "angel" and I remember her getting to her knees to bow down to it, she even rested her head in the floor, I saw her do that and out of respect I just bowed my head down; to this day I regret doing that. I didn't see the mist clearly so I had no idea what I was bowing my head to. Later, we were still playing the board game when I turned around and the same sister that was with me came to us from another corner, she was acting like her usual self, the other sister didn't act like her she was quiet, intimidating and didn't say much. While my other sister came in like how she usually does, making a joke- at this point I don't know why I wasn't more aware of why there were 2 of the same sisters I probably should've been worried or something. Then she said "hey, what's that" and I said "oh, that's an angel" as we we're walking towards it I could see more clearly what was there. It was horrible, I first noticed it's face, it was beautiful it had a baby face, but then I noticed it's skin and it's arms it's skin was light but it was symbols on it, and it seemed durty with black patches, one of the symbols, actually the only symbol that I saw more clearly was the upside down cross, thats when I noticed it was no type of angel, it was a fallen one. It hair was to its shoulders and it was matted, black and spikey; it's wings were alike black with spikes and matted, its tail was also black with spikes and it was long. I remember it being naked but maybe it had a skirt covering its parts, i wouldn't have been able to notice though because its legs were crossed at the ankles and its knees were bent over its stomack, its hands were in handcuffs as well as its ankles, they were chained; that was also how I noticed that it was no angel. When I saw it I was scared but then I remembered how I saw a video on social media get pranked and how she said "I rebuke you in Jesus name, Amen" I then did the same thing I raised my hands to the fallen angel and I told it "I rebuke all evil in Jesus name, Amen." And just when I said that it turned into a sandlike texture and blew away, it reminded me of when yiu blow on a dandelion, it also resembled how when people blow on ashes, the color and texture looked almost identical to it. After that happened the "sister" that was with me in the start, y'know the one that told me it was an angel and that was bowing down to that thing, started telling us something totally unrelated and said "drugs made an impact on the history of korea" she said as "she" turned back around and kept on playing a board game, like as if "she" hadn't seen what happened. I keep quoting she because I know that wasn't my sister, "she" was not like us after she had bowed to the fallen angel. Me and my real sister looked at each other in disbelief like as we both knew that she was an imposter, then the dream ended. This dream made me understand how the devil will give us distraction, like how the imposter sister tried to do when we both saw the evil being blown away by god, she tried to tell us something totally unrelated and tried get our mind off of what had happened. Similar to in real life how the devil will try to hide what happens. But we must not fall, i don't want to cause worry and anxiety and i hope i didn't but these distractions are going to be hard to get over, even sometimes i get distracted and i regret it always. We must be strong in order to open our eyes and let god protect us, ask god to protect you and to take away the distractions, it's hard but the relief and peace you'll get from god is much more better then the distractions keeping you from seeing him. I feel as though its the holy spirit asking me to share this, something in me, maybe god is speaking to me and telling me to share. Because wherever I look wether it be in social media or maybe just day to day life theres always signs of not being scared and not care of what people have to say about it, being brave, and i pray that god can help me post something like this without fear of what others may think, i hope i get the courage to post something like this to my own personal social media, and not hide.

hi millenials fam, long time lurker first time poster. Not really sure where to go, what to do, so here I am. I feel stuck, looking for guidance/wisdom/advice/kick in the pants. I'm posting this in millennials and not careeradvice bc I feel like others here can "feel" what I'm going through.
This is an extension of my consciousness so I'm sorry for the word vomit and thank you in advance.
I feel like I've been in this weird phase of ..what started as a quarter life crisis..and has morphed into a mid life crisis.
I've worked in tech/consulting since 2010, in a series of progressive roles, from analyst to VP, averaging $300k-$400k for the last 7 years.
In 2018 I quit consulting to go back to b school to get an MBA, took a role as a VP, in 2020, and I quit a month ago. Straight quit, I walked away from around $200k in commission & w/out having another job lined up, essentially told my CEO to fuck off, I was just absolutely burned out from the company, the role, the people, the whole "working remote" and "zoom" culture, the transactional nature of the role, and transparently I felt like a "hired mercenary", selling software I really didn't believe in but it paid well, and I knew how to sell, so I did it.
I live in a nice house in a nice community, I'm married to an amazing && beautiful woman, I drive a porsche, no consumer debt, $$ in the bank, an MBA from a tier 1 school.
I started doing BJJ around in 2020 because life started "feeling easy", which has helped to an extent w/ my mental state, but I don't know what to do now. I feel stuck. I feel like I can do anything, but i dont know what.
Whenever people/counselors/advisors ask me what do i want to do, the only thing i can respond with is a list of things I absolutely won't do & hate (similar to the aforementioned list).
Over the past month, I've found myself spending *a lot* of time reminiscing on my childhood (I was an only child, grew up poor, on welfare, etc.); I've been going to antique video game stores to buy/play nes/snes/genesis games, etc. Everytime I pick up a genesis game...in the box..with the manual, it puts a huge smile on my face. I love the 16bitness of it, noise, graphics, how they write about the characters in the manual. etc.
I feel like I'm going into this weird place where I'm craving the past, maybe because it signified the uncertainty, unknown and path of excitement of "whats to come" e.g. jr. high -> excitement of high school, high school -> going to college, college -> getting first $$$ job, getting an MBA -> becoming a Vp, etc. I feel like there are no surprises in life left, like unless I do something drastically different, this is it. I don't feel 'old', mentally i feel strong, physically I think i might be in the best shape of my life, but I am absolutely stuck in trying to figure out "whats next". LIke I have no idea what I want to do, the thought of going back into sales or consulting makes me want to stab my eyeballs out, I remember being 24 and wanting to be the CEO of a huge F500, now I cringe at the thought of it. It's a soul crushing experience.
BJJ is cool, I like doing it because it keeps me in shape, I hang out with young dudes who I can mentocoach in life & they can mentocoach me in BJJ, but I'm not delusional there is no $$ in that path.
Sometimes I joke with my wife about buying a farm, investing in an HVAC/plumbing company, and entering the workforce of people who use their hands to "do stuff", I respect those people so much, they are the backbone of America. My house would be up shit creek, no AC, no water, without these guys. I have mad admiration for them.
I have enough $$ until the end of the year to float our current lifestyle, at which point if i don't have a job it will be down to my wife's income (she is a product manager in tech). We can survive off of her income but it doesn't position us for 'growth' and transarently she's going to be bust my balls if i dont have a job/path/plan by then. My wife and I have been working from home together since COVID, i love her, shes an amazing co worker, but if I sit at home for the next 20 years she is going to kill me.
So i don't really know what to do. One of my friends said "for the first time in my life, I have an abundance of time to think/explore, and that is an uncomfortable feeling because you're not waking up with something to do".
Another told me: "neo, there is no spoon" <--- and this one hit me hard (it's a quote from the matrix for those who don't remember).
My friends think I'm doing well (although I think they're also unhappy), my peer's think I'm doing good and have a path to 'the top', my mom tells me to keep my head down and work, that I'm lucky, but I look at people our age e.g. mark Zuckerberg and think I am shitting the bed and missing the marks. They all think its insane that I'm comparing myself to him, but why not? he's approximately our age and has achieved more in life than I ever have.
I think ghost towns are interesting, I've visited some ghost towns over the past few weeks, I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for , but it's cool to see what life was like a generation before us and how people used to live.
I've been in the crypto space as a hobbiest for 5 years, have a low six figs in it, but the recent market action has made me extremely jaded on the premise of crypto as a hedge against the us dollar / debasement, i feel like its become another asset class of wallstreet that draws a lot of parallels to forex.
I don't have any kids, we've been trying for 4 years now, no luck. I think this a huge drag on me personally, i want to have kids, so does my wife. All of our friends have kids, all of them, except us. The whole IVF experience sounds incredibly unappealing and something neither of us want to do, so we're at a standstill for that. not sure how to proceed. When I go on LinkedIn & look at the 'recommended jobs' it presents to me, I want to throw my laptop out the window, VP of saas AI blah blah blah, salesforce consulting director blah blah blah, VP growth blah blah, all meaningless work, creating digital pieces of paper we push from one team to another, convincing others that these "web sites" we build are going to transform the world, when they're not. a generation from now one is going to give a shit about some back-end ERP software that "revolutionizes" the CPQ process.
Tomorrow I'm going to drive ~6 hours to an abandoned ghost town in nevada, then later in the week I'm going to visit some old friends from high school I haven't seen in many years, but I feel really really lost, more specifically I don't feel like I can spend the rest of my life "hanging out' like this, I need something to do.
so yeah..from one millennial to another, what do i do now?
Thanks for reading,
Lost millennial.

Today we review "TajHacksSnaps" Via Telegram
In a short & brief breakdown of if they're actually hacking or just out-right scamming!
Starting off with how their little shop / group looks its an okay set up. They could add a bit more diversity when it comes to uploading content i feel as if the screenhots could be a little more detailed from customers but not necessarily a deal-breaker. Another thing that caught my attention was its not exactly an open group but you've gotta "know a guy who knows a guy" to be treated with respect and get what you need faster then other people. In my attempt i just joked around with staff , they liked me and i was basically set up for ordering.
Getting into Proof , Vouches & Work > So they typically show customers ordering , being issued content & full on hacking videos which to me is great! But they dont pubicly post nudes? which during my eyes only pulls a lot of you guys would want to see. So just ask them directly about it because i did and was able to get my order done the way i wanted it.
Another thing that was a bit of a issue was times? mind you they are a pretty sizeable group so it took longer then expected but was quoted 45 minutes to an hour, im pretty sure they might be short staffed so i was being patient. They do offer live updates so you're able to watch how the order goes without having to keep asking "is it ready yet" or worry if you've been scammed because its nerve racking NOT to know whats up.
Payment methods were another thing i have to highlight - internationally , shit like cashapp which 99% of people use doesnt work overseas. So when youre ordering from like UK , AUS , Canada , places like that with different currencies crypto & paypal were my bestfriend in ordering. They do the whole "friends & family" bit so keep that in mind also > if you're worried about the whole anonimity thing crypto is better. I used a throw-away email for paypal one & done.
On the topic of payments / PRICES Should also be mentioned - They're affordable during sales , flash deals , & if you have a relationship with staff they tend to let you use their code for discounts! Even when you do a few promos they will knock down prices for you. So just stay tapped into whatever deal they have and you'll get this kind of shit at a discount ALWAYS! Just have to ask - i heard there's been mix-ups in communication and people assume they get deals when its not active.
Finally the Snaphacks+ membership, its a group where other people who wanna group buy , share media they've gotten , maybe even split an order and group buy hacks, hell theyve got an entire community where they dick around sometimes its actually pretty fun. The main thing is the deals - half off orders , access to these group-chats , contribute and sometimes they offer apprenticeships for learing how to hack yourself. Its a monthly service but you'll enjoy it once youre in
So in conclusion , we honeslty can rate our expericne at 7.5 / 10 > If they were more consistent & diverse with what they've posted previously showing us more details , videos , & just all around more communication with their community more people would be comfortable shopping. Here's the contact info

Bells rung out over Nocturne. For it was the day that their lives changed forever. First it was the day that Hestia fell from the sky, second it was the day the emperor came and brought them to the stars
And so the people celebrate. Crowds filling the streets, vendors shouting their wares, couples falling in love, others breaking up as they catch eyes for another. And some take the chance to ask the question to their lover.
As in all it was a normal holiday where a large gathering of people was the norm. You stand above it, on a balcony waving to the crowd below. Though the figure next to you is the one they are waving at
Hestia. All eleven feet of her stand, clad in her green armor, flames inlays flickering in the lamp light. One of her hands is laid on the balcony, supporting her as she half hangs over it, waving to everyone below.
You gently grip her armor, trying to pull her back over the balcony “Babe, please I dont want you to fall”
“I am not worried over such a little fall” she answers. Causing you to raise an eyebrow at the “little” fall, a good 50 or so feet to the ground below. As the bell tolls the 8th hour she relents and leans back
“Unfortunately that's our scheduled time” she calls to the masses below, waving to a few children causing them to cheer as they squabble over who she actually waved to
Turning with a deep laugh she takes your hand and pulls you along back into your bedroom, armor clanking as she moves over to the servitor to have it removed, pulling a cover to give her privacy
“Want to go out on the town?” You ask, only seeing her head over the privacy screen “that would be wonderful, let's have some fun” you see her head duck down and hear rustling cloth
She pushes the screen aside and steps out in a tank top and short shorts. Thick thigh and shredded midriff on display as she laughs at you hanging jaw
“With how little I wear around you id expect you'd be used to this by now” she uses a finger to close your mouth, leaning in and pressing a kiss on your lips
“I still marvel at the sunrise everyday” you call out as you marvel at her retreating form
“Then let's go before you can admire that too” she calls over her shoulder with a wink
Shaking your head you follow her out. Jogging lightly to catch up with her. An arm pulling you into her side as you walk out the gate. Crowd respectfully parting to allow you to pass
Looking to the vendors you tour through the art on display. The two of you are in a booth selling finely crafted salamander models.
You find one made in your favorite colors, a gasp escapes your lips as you rush over, eyes wide as you lift it up. “Can I keep him?” You turn to see a smiling Hestia
She makes a show of patting for her purse “ill get it for you. But you'll need to pay me back” she pulls her wallet out, metal changing hands as the shopkeeper almost refuses charging her. She insists, refusing to leave a debt unpaid.
Behind her you find the stepstool, holding it up with a tilted head you receive a nod of confirmation. Setting it up and climbing up you manage to leap upon Hestia's back, arms wrapped around her neck as you plant a kiss on her cheek
Feeling the rush of warmth as she answers “and I think thats payment enough” she reaches back and grabs you and holds you in front of her. Dangling there like a kitten by the scruff of its neck, salamander figure in your hands. She plucks the figure and hands it to the shopkeeper.
“Have that delivered to the palace” she instructs, tossing you over her shoulder “I've got my hands full” she says as she cups your ass
You blush and beat on her back as she walks into the streets, still holding you. You wiggle as she kneads your butt, her hand fitting perfectly. You manage to bring yourself around, a bitter of help from her, and sit yourself on her shoulder
You lean down and kiss her forehead. “Meanie” you call her, ruffling her ash white hair. “nothing wrong with showing my love” She retorts. You fake pout as she keeps walking
Spotting a restaurant you wanted to try, you point it out. “Can we go there? I made sure to make reservations” she beams at you “well if you made reservations it would be rude to miss them”
“More so because I already made the deposit” thr joke causing a deep laugh. Startling some of the people around you with its sound. “Then let us go little flame”
She leads you over to the restaurant, pausing only at the door to sling you under her arm. Opening the door the entire restaurant turns to the doors flying open. Seeing Hestia standing there, you slung under her arm
Looking at the host. “We have a reservation. Under the name Hestia” the host pointing you to the sole table on the balcony, a primarch size cushion you had delivered earlier rests on the floor.
She carries you over and places you in your chair, ruffling your hair as she takes her own seat. Blushing as she realizes that you made it so your at eye level with her
Handing her a menu before opening yours you hear a gasp as her eyes are draw to what you pressured she would be ordering “they have the planets spicest Chilli here?” She looks up at you with tears in her eyes “I've been wanting to try that for a while now”
“Only the best for my Volcano” a blush errupting on her face at the complement. You wave the waiter over as you close your menu “ill have the steak, medium please”
“Chilli, as spicy as you can serve” she orders after you, grabbing your menu and passing them over. You grab the bottle on the table, boring both of you a glass of wine as you look over the balcony over the festivities below
“It's a nice night Wyrmheart. Great place you've chosen here” as she places her hand on the table. Taking it and placing a kiss on it you let your actions speak for you
She laughs as the waiter brings your order over. The spice of her Chilli causing your eyes to water from across the table.
You both dig in, the food is delicious. She offers you a bite of her chilli. “I think I can see the spoon melting” a laugh from both of you as a whisp of steam comes off the Chilli as you say it.
You reach under the table, grabbing a package you left there. “I got you something” you say as you pass the package over the table
“Is this one fine to open in public?” She teases as you blush. She's already opening the package before you can answer. Opening the box reveals a elegant knife, forged for someone of her size, beautifully crafted and inlayed with gold and red wire
“It's the first thing I forged by myself” you proudly say. Receiving gasps in response. Both from Hestia and the waiters. The former covering her mouth. Knife falling from her hands. The later running off
“What? Wrong place?” You look around confused st why the entire restaurant has just gone quiet and staring at you
“My love, on Nocturne we are a planet of smiths” Hestia begins “everyone can smith, if not everyone does. And one of the most intimate things you can share is the first thing you ever made”
Waiters come back with champagne, popping it in time as fireworks start in the square below
Hestia looks at you with love in her eyes as she takes your hand “and to show someone your first forged item is sign of serious trust, and to offer it as a gift is often a sign of proposal”
“And I accept”
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I honestly don't think I'm giving enough information to be remotely useful here, as what I'm describing in words would describe hundreds of books from the era, if not thousands. But, here's my vague query.
Editions from that era could have different colors of a cover, hidden under a dust jacket, so although it's true that the color of the cover was green, I say that in slightly tongue-in-cheek manner.
I believe this was part of a series of books, but am not sure. It was hard cover, and probably either the standard 6 x 9 inch measurement, or maybe a little less.
The book was illustrated, and it's the illustrations that remain a source of fascination in my mind, just being of that particular era of slightly uncanny linear drawings, some photographs (and some of the drawings were in color).
I wish words could convey the emotional sense, but that's going to vary from person to person anyway. I'm going to say more likely toward the 1960s, for the stylistic aspect. But am not sure.
Sooo, even with the added details, this likely falls into the referenced cliche joke of "the cover was (COLOR), why don't you know what I'm talking about?", but thought I'd try anyway.
I'm unlikely to recognize title or author, it was a book on my parents' shelves that I flipped through as a young 1980s child. But if it rings a bell and you can find pictures of the interior illustrations online, feel free to post.
Otherwise, feel free to ignore (and moderators feel free to delete) if it seems to go crashing into the impossible lost cause category.

Green screen kids—need I say more? People who comment ‘#StopGreenScreenKids’ don’t actually comment, and as a result, they will get fewer views. There are people who can’t understand the simplest of jokes and then complain about it in the comments. The ‘💀’ emoji—I just find it annoying. Like beggars. SME, fuck you. Gorilla Tag—what the hell is Gorilla Tag? Brain rot. Sounds are being overused. Roblox. Unoriginal memes. People leave hate comments for no reason. YouTube is being run by money-hungry dickheads. The UTTP.

On Lee’s way back to the living quarters, he watched as the people surrounding him were all engaged in whispered discussions. The gossip was circulating like a ferris wheel, around and around with more people climbing on by each turn. He couldn’t particularly blame them. There was talk of Prescott, of Clementine, of the Garcías: what’s more was that everything bled into each other. You couldn’t discuss one without delving into the next. Celebrities weren’t so much a thing in the apocalypse anymore, but he felt that New Richmond was developing a system not dissimilar.
With AJ collected by Clementine, he spent the night alone with none besides his own thoughts. They followed him even when he had drifted off into a slumber for a short period. Lee wasn’t aware he was dreaming at first. He’d found himself alone in a room that looked like the quarantine zone the Prescott group was held in, though it was now significantly larger. Multiple hallways spanned across differing directions, of which a multitude of voices resided in each. To the North-East he heard cries of baby AJ and hushes from Clementine. Moving down by the South-East were many voices overlapping at once: the GarcÍa family, talking and debating. On the opposite side at the North-West was a faint woman’s laughter, conceited and conniving. Finally in the South-West was somebody whispering his name. Lee listened more intently and tried to identify it under the other conflicting sounds. He recognised it as his wife’s voice, one he hadn’t heard in a dream for so many months, and jumped violently in shock. This brought him to a lucid state as he could at least realise he was trapped inside of a dream.
Dreams hadn’t been present since AJ was cured. It was something he hadn’t missed, how cryptic they were which always left him unsettled upon waking up.
The recognition of the state he was in did nothing to alleviate the panic that had crept into his senses. All around him the voices were pulsing louder and then quieter like a beating heart. It seemed the room had started to shrink. The directions of the voices flipped and switched around until he was totally disoriented at which hallway was talking to him. There was nothing to do besides wait out the scene when his awakening would interrupt it. Lee fell to his knees in the room and raised his arm over his head until everything went quiet.
He woke up to a day of rain. It hadn’t felt like Spring anyhow but the backdrop of falling rain and cloudy skies did everything to remind him of Winter, where instead of rain it was snow but present through both was a dead air.
During his discussion with Lee, David had mentioned that Clint had said it was good for the new garden, but that was the last thing on everybody’s minds. All they could focus on was the annoyance it brought them. New Richmond would not waste a day, whether it was raining or not. So everybody continued outside, working and training begrudgingly. Lee and David strolled down the streets of Richmond, watching all of this before their conversation truly begun.
“I know what you want to talk to me about,” David said. He was looking straight ahead and his face showed no signs of emotion.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. When I was told about Max and Badger, leading the raid…” David let out a sharp exhale. “Those fucking morons. I expected this off of Badger, and Logan will do anything he says, but Max?.”
Lee asked if he had talked to any of them since.
“No, not yet. I’ve been talking to Javi a lot, and trying to see Kate, but she’s resting.” David fell into a silence. “It’s a lot for her to handle, I think. Anyway,” he said, clearing his throat, “There’ll be a chance to talk to them today. There’s going to be a council meeting.”
“Who’s going?”
David explained that there was to be an interview for Javi as a representative of his group. It all didn’t sit exactly right with Lee, like there was something he wasn’t being told.
“What about Clementine?” Lee asked, hushing his voice. He didn’t know why he was doing so: it wasn’t like she was hiding. Clementine could walk around New Richmond all she wanted. Joan was going to find out soon if she hadn’t already, and the thought of that unsettled Lee greatly. Things felt dangerous but he couldn’t place exactly what was setting him off.
“If Joan knows anything, she hasn’t said,” responded David. “But then again, that’s Joan in a nutshell.” It sounded like this was a joke but he wasn’t smiling.
Lee wanted to ask what he would do about the Badger and Max situation though stopped himself.
“I’ll let you get back to Kate before the meeting, then,” Lee said with a weak attempt at a smile.
“Thank you.”
…
He was assigned to inventory in the weapons unit. In a way, he was grateful for the distraction. It required him to be attentive as he counted rounds of ammo and ensure each weapon is in its correct place. He’d slipped up a few times and had to restart, making the effort a tedious repetition on top of so many hours of work that had him occupied through the afternoon. Yet he couldn’t get frustrated.
Lee was at peace with working at his own pace. He was required to, as he could only do his task with his one hand: he trailed his arm down the bullets, counting in his head as he went along, and then moved to his paper to write down the numbers. Ava worked at a totally different speed. She was faster and more chaotic, dismantling boxes on the floor to count and then re-pack them again. Perhaps they should’ve quarrelled over their different styles but they did not.
“Look at us lucky ones,” Lee started, “working indoors while the rain goes on.” It had been a while since he could actually small-talk with someone. As stereotypical it was to talk about the weather, it was a refreshing reminder of some normality.
“You’re not wrong there. I would hate to be on watch right now,” she responded.
They worked in silence for another stretch of minutes.
“Ava,” Lee began again, more seriously this time. “When I spoke to you about Joan…”
She turned around to face him with a curious expression, slowing in her movements. “Yeah?”
“I think something might be wrong.” He lowered his voice while he spoke.
Ava finished the box she was working on, sealing it shut and then looked down at it for a moment. “David told me about Prescott,” she said finally.
He didn’t respond. Some inner part of him felt like they were being watched, under some surveillance. He did not want to speak anything damning. There were no cameras anymore or no juries, yet he still bit his lip: he imagined Joan on the other side of the door, listening and ready to walk in to remove him from New Richmond.
The silence lengthened for some more time while they worked side-by-side. He thought it were funny how there was so much to be said they it could only remain unspeakable. Lee forced himself to remain focused on his task. Though he did not regret bringing up Joan again, he could not shake all the thoughts he managed to avoid during the beginning of their workload. As he worked himself all the way to the final box, Lee could only wonder about the presence of foul forces around them.
“All done,” Ava announced. She dusted off her hands while Lee began packing up his belongings.
Just before he went for the door, she looked Lee directly in the eye and nodded at him. “If you ever need my help, I’ll be there.”
“Thanks,” he said gratefully.
They headed to the door, which swung open and revealed only an empty hallway on the other side. Lee sighed with relief. Realistically, Joan wouldn’t be there, nor would anyone, yet he still held his breath before confirming nothing awaited them besides the building.
…
Himself, Clementine and AJ were together inside the living quarters. AJ was scribbling a doodle with some coloured crayons Lingard had given him. Lee and Clementine watched over him as they both finished their rations.
“That was nice of Ava,” Clementine said mildly.
He nodded at her. Outside on the windows, the rain was still falling against the glass. It dropped in a comforting rhythm that you could forget was there if you weren’t paying attention to it.
“Why don’t you show us what you’ve got there, little man?” Lee smiled down at AJ, who had thrown down his paper. It was a tornado of colours, blue and red and green, flying around the page. Lee looked upon it proudly and turned it to Clementine, who grinned.
“Wow, goofball, that looks great,” she giggled.
The discussion passed around them all like a warm blanket. Time spent with them both was something Lee always looked forward to. Usually it wasn't interrupted, but today proved different.
A voice called their attention. They both looked to see who was walking over to them.
“Max,” Lee said, getting up to his feet. He didn’t feel particularly threatened by Max - if anything he was mostly confused at trying to guess his intentions behind things - and looked upon him with a discerning gaze.
“We thought you had a council meeting?” Clementine asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
“I’m on my way over now,” he responded. Max shuffled on his feet. “Joan sent me here to ask for ‘ya. Both of ‘ya.”
Lee and Clementine shared a look.
“Did she say anything else?” Lee fought against his raised breath and spoke as naturally as he could.
After a pause, Max responded, “No. Just that she needed to see Clementine, and to bring Lee with her.”