I’m new to shaving. I used to use Gillette cartridge razors and Gillette gel shaving cream until I decided to buy a DE safety razor to get a better shave and save money in the long run. After numerous suggestions online, I went with the Rockwell 6C. Years ago, I gave up DE shaving. I did zero research back in 2017 and bought a cheap $13 DE razor, using Derby Extra blades because they were inexpensive. However, the cheap DE razor cut my face up, so I threw it out and went back to the Gillette Fusion cartridge razor. I continued to use Gillette gel shaving cream for my face because I thought it was good stuff.
This year, I decided to give a DE razor another try. The reason for the switch was that the safety rubber piece on the Gillette Fusion kept coming off. Sometimes, I would get a brand new refill (which costs $17 for 4 pieces), and the safety rubber piece would come off on the first shave. I had had enough of the Gillette Fusion and decided to try another option. I searched the web, and everywhere I turned, people were recommending a good DE razor or a straight razor. So, I decided to try it again, but this time I did my research. Everyone’s favorite razors were at least $30 plus, so I decided to go with the Rockwell 6C. It was completely different from my $13 DE razor; the shave was a night and day difference. I also got Proraso shaving soap. I had never used shaving soap before, and this Proraso soap feels so nice and refreshing on my skin. I did a side-by-side comparison between Gillette shaving gel and Proraso soap. The difference in slickness is night and day. My razor glides so much better with shaving soap. I also love the menthol feel of this soap; it makes my face feel cold and soothing. I don't see myself ever buying shaving gel again. I also get way more lather using shaving soap.
I did more research and found that Proraso isn't even considered the best soap. From what I gathered, people’s favorites are Sterling, Ariana & Evans, Barrister and Mann, and Noble Otter, among a few others. I also learned that all shaving soaps lather well, but different companies’ soaps have different levels of slickness. For example, many people describe the lather of Ariana & Evans as having a silky yogurt-like feel that other soaps can’t match. I also found out that with shaving soaps, it’s more about who has the best smell because they all lather and protect your skin well—at least most of them.
Anyway, if you’re still reading this, I just ordered Barrister and Mann (Seville) shaving soap due to reviews saying the smell is great and it lathers well. However, I have to say that shaving soaps seem even more subjective than razor blades; everyone’s favorites are all over the place!
My shaving lather technique as a beginner: I push down on the brush and then twirl it around. It seems to lather the soap much quicker that way. I also wet the brush and squeeze the excess water out. Please let me know if this is a bad way of doing it.
Moreover, shaving with a DE razor and applying shave soap is so therapeutic. Taking time out of your day to enjoy your soaps and blades while you shave is really rewarding.
Also, feel free to list your favorite shaving soaps.

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First off, this may come across as a little egotistical. That's not my intention, but it's gotten to the point I've gone on so many failed dates so many times I just need genuine advice about how to fix this, or what I'm doing wrong. Also this is not self pity, I am looking for advice on how to fix this.
I am a 22M and I'm attracting the wrong type of girl. I don't have a problem with it, but I don't enjoy hookup culture or FWB. The problem is, this seems to be all I'm being offered. I like to take things slow and build a connection before getting physical, however, the girls that also say they are like that are no longer interested in me after the first date. The girls I do attract or are interested in me are the ones strictly interested in FWB or a one night stand. Now I know this isn't a lot of information to go off of but I'll try to list any physical attributes or personality traits below that could explain what is happening.
From any ex-girlfriends or friends I have:

• I look like a frat guy (I'm not even in one) and so she assumed initially that I was a womanizer. However, I don't really always dress like one, she says that my vibe seemed fratty (idk what to do about this).
• I come across as pretty tall (6'2"), fit, and people say I look like a pretty boy (I used to model as a child).
• I occasionally have out of pocket humor, but I keep it pretty toned down when I go on first dates.
• People say I'm very intimidating at first and I come across as very intense (I do MMA and ultramarathons)
• I come across as extremely driven (I have big goals and ambitions and basically any free time I have is being used to work on that).
• I wear my heart on my sleeve type of thing so I care deeply about family and talk very highly about them. I also do a lot of work for non-profits which people say they weren't really expecting from me.

Again I'm not trying to brag at all or fish for compliments. I genuinely want to know what I should tone down or change in order to make me more likable. I had another failed date with a girl I think I would have meshed well with in terms of values and I'm starting to get pretty discouraged. *also note, I'm not shaming the girls for rejecting me I'm just trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong*

⚫️🟡⚫️🟡⚫️🟡
Hi all! Firstly congratulations on making it to ANOTHER Wembley final! Last Saturday it would have been 11 years to the day since you were last here!
⚫️🟡⚫️🟡⚫️🟡
I run a pub in Wembley located a 20 minute walk from the stadium. (Formerly named Flannery’s… now called The Barrel & Corner) address is at the bottom of this post.
⚫️🟡⚫️🟡⚫️
We are a fantastic match day pub & one of the few to show the games live! We hosted many Dortmund fans in 2013 & cannot wait to do so again!!! We are Wembley’s best kept secret & absolutely live to support & get involved with the action!
⚫️🟡⚫️🟡⚫️
So.. we are a family run, traditional, no nonsense community boozer in Wembley. It’s a 20 minute walk from the stadium, located perfectly away from the crowds & chaos!
⚫️🟡⚫️🟡⚫️
11 years ago when you were last here was by far the craziest I’ve seen Wembley! I would imagine a good few here last time will remember the place. We pride ourselves on having the best atmosphere and being Wembley’s best kept secret!
⚫️🟡⚫️🟡⚫️
Just wanted to let yous know we are here, lot cheaper & less crowded than basically anywhere in Wembley, showing the game & not charging entry. We’re waiting with open arms.
A VIEW FROM INSIDE THE PUB:
https://www.instagram.com/s/aGlnaGxpZ2h0OjE3OTM0MTI1MTc3NTQ3ODUw?story_media_id=2838273926623694313&igsh=ZW40YXQwNWc5cHEx
⚫️🟡⚫️🟡⚫️
A FEW THINGS ABOUT US……..
⚫️We will have a Dortmund playlist playing your match day songs LOUD ALL DAY! 100% only pub who do this! (It’s a Spotify one, unless anyone else can send me another they’d prefer)
🟡We are showing the game live for those without tickets (most venues don’t)
⚫️We can accommodate for coaches & mini busses to park up until you’re on the way back.(Message directly please)
🟡Free Entry! (some others charge)
⚫️Most pubs shut 1 hour before kickoff & don’t open after.. not us!
🟡20 min walk from the stadium, avoid the long queues, extortionate prices & be confident you will be with genuine supporters from your community.
⚫️We will be cheering you’s on all day, and on that note… f**k anyone who isn’t!
🟡We are open until LATE!
⚫️We do not take bookings, it is first come first served. We have 8 TV’s including 3 outside in a brand new heated terrace, with 2 outside bars and a barbecue for the day!
🟡 Family friendly… also have burgers and hot dogs being served all day! Don’t get stuck paying £14 for one at the stadium
Anything I can do to accommodate please feel free to get in contact via Messenger or email listed below.
🟡⚫️🟡⚫️🟡⚫️🟡⚫️ PS! If anyone brings in any spare tops/t shirts/ merchandise to lend for the day I’ll make sure the staff will be wearing them as official uniform!
If anyone has any requests for beer, spirits or soft drinks to order that everyone tends to drink, let me know! I’ll do what I can to get them in. 🟡⚫️🟡⚫️🟡⚫️🟡⚫️
Paul The Barrel & Corner 612a High Road Wembley HA02AF
For all enquiries please contact me through Facebook messenger, instagram messenger or paulgreene12@icloud.com
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/share/oG2juLHB5w9gKpKZ/?mibextid=LQQJ4d
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/s/aGlnaGxpZ2h0OjE3OTM0MTI1MTc3NTQ3ODUw?igsh=ZW40YXQwNWc5cHEx

The defense and the prosecution today made their closing statements in the New York criminal case against Trump for falsifying business records to hide a $130,000 payment to adult film actress Stephanie Clifford, also known as Stormy Daniels. The payment was intended to stop her account of her sexual encounter with Trump from becoming public in the days before the 2016 election, when the Trump campaign was already reeling from the Access Hollywood tape showing Trump boasting of sexual assault.
The Biden-Harris campaign showed up at the trial today with veteran actor Robert DeNiro and former police officers Michael Fanone and Harry Dunn, who protected the U.S. Capitol and members of Congress from rioters on January 6, 2021. In words seemingly calculated to get under Trump’s skin, DeNiro said, “We New Yorkers used to tolerate him when he was just another grubby real estate hustler masquerading as a big shot,” and called him a coward.
When Robert Costa of CBS News asked campaign spokesperson Michael Tyler why they had shown up at the trial, Tyler answered: “Because you all are here. You’ve been incessantly covering this day in and day out, and we want to remind the American people ahead of the…first debate on June 27 of the unique, persistent, and growing threat that Donald Trump poses to the American people and to our democracy. So since you all are here, we’re here communicating that message.”
Yesterday, in remarks at Arlington National Cemetery in observance of Memorial Day, President Joe Biden honored “the sacrifice of the hundreds of thousands of women and men who’ve given their lives for this nation. Each one…a link in the chain of honor stretching back to our founding days. Each one bound by common commitment—not to a place, not to a person, not to a President, but to an idea unlike any idea in human history: the idea of the United States of America.”
“[F]reedom has never been guaranteed,” Biden said. “Every generation has to earn it; fight for it; defend it in battle between autocracy and democracy, between the greed of a few and the rights of many…. And just as our fallen heroes have kept the ultimate faith with our country and our democracy, we must keep faith with them,” he said.
His speech at Arlington echoed the message he delivered to this year’s graduating class at the United States Military Academy at West Point, where he urged the graduates to hold fast to their oaths. “On your very first day at West Point, you raised your right hands and took an oath—not to a political party, not to a president, but to the Constitution of the United States of America—against all enemies, foreign and domestic,” he said to applause. Soldiers “have given their lives for that Constitution. They have fought to defend the freedoms that it protects: the right to vote, the right to worship, the right to raise your voice in protest. They have saved and sacrificed to ensure, as President Lincoln said, a ‘government of the people, by the people, and for the people shall not perish from the Earth.’”
“[N]othing is guaranteed about our democracy in America. Every generation has an obligation to defend it, to protect it, to preserve it, to choose it,” he said. “Now, it’s your turn.” Biden spent more than an hour saluting and shaking the hand of each graduate.
In contrast, Trump ushered in Memorial Day with a post on his social media company, saying: “Happy Memorial Day to All, including the Human Scum that is working so hard to destroy our Once Great Country, & to the Radical Left, Trump Hating Federal Judge in New York that presided over, get this, TWO separate trials, that awarded a woman, who I never met before (a quick handshake at a celebrity event, 25 years ago, doesn’t count!), 91 MILLION DOLLARS for “DEFAMATION.” He then continued to attack E. Jean Carroll, the writer who successfully sued him for defamation, before turning to attack Judge Arthur Engoron, who presided over the civil case of Trump and the Trump Organization falsifying documents, and Judge Juan Merchan, who is presiding over the current criminal case in New York.
The message behind this extraordinary post was twofold: Trump can think of nothing but himself…and he appears to be terrified.
On Saturday, May 25, Trump had an experience quite different from his usual reception at rallies of hand-picked supporters. He was resoundingly booed at the national convention of the Libertarian Party in Washington, D.C., where Secret Service agents confiscated squeaky rubber chickens before his speech. Attendees jeered Trump’s order, “You have to combine with us,” even when he reminded them of his libertarian credentials—tax cuts and defunding of federal equality programs—and promised to pardon the January 6 rioters who attacked the U.S. Capitol.
Trump also promised to pardon Ross Ulbricht, who founded and from January 2011 to October 2013 ran an online criminal marketplace called Silk Road, where more than $200 million in illegal drugs and other illicit goods and services, such as computer hacking, were bought and sold. Most of the sales were of drugs, with the Silk Road home page listing nearly 13,000 options, including heroin, cocaine, ecstasy, and LSD. The wares were linked to at least six deaths from overdose around the world. In May 2015, Ulbricht was sentenced to life in prison and was ordered to forfeit more than $180 million.
Libertarians want Ulbricht released because they support drug legalization on the grounds that people should be able to make their own choices and they see Ulbricht’s sentence as government overreach. Trump has repeatedly called for the death penalty for drug dealers, making his promise to pardon Ulbricht an illustration of just how badly he thinks he needs the support of Libertarian voters. But they refused to endorse him.
Trump appeared angry, and on Sunday, as Greg Sargent reported in The New Republic, he reposted a video of a man raging at MSNBC host Joe Scarborough. In it, the man says that when Trump is reelected: “He’ll get rid of all you f*cking liberals. You liberals are gone when he f*cking wins. You f*cking blowjob liberals are done. Uncle Donnie’s gonna take this election—landslide. Landslide, you f*cking half a blowjob. Landslide. Get the f*ck out of here, you scumbag.”
Trump’s elevation of this video, Sargent notes, is a dangerous escalation of his already violent rhetoric, and yet it has gotten very little media attention.
Last November, Matt Gertz of Media Matters reported that ABC News, CBS News, and NBC News provided 18 times more coverage of 2016 Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton’s comment at a fundraising event that “you could put half of Trump’s supporters into what I call the basket of deplorables” who are “racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamophobic,” than they provided of Trump’s November 2023 promise to “root out the communist, Marxist, fascist and the radical left thugs that live like vermin within the confines of our country.”
CNN, the Fox News Channel, and MSNBC mentioned the “deplorables” comment nearly 9 times more than Trump’s “vermin” language. The ratio for the five highest-circulating U.S. newspapers was 29:1.
Clinton’s statement was consistent with polling, and she added that the rest of Trump’s supporters were “people who feel that the government has let them down, the economy has let them down, nobody cares about them, nobody worries about what happens to their lives and their futures, and they’re just desperate for change.” She said: “Those are people we have to understand and empathize with as well.”
Sargent noted that news stories require context and that Trump’s elevation of the violent video should be placed alongside his many threats to prosecute his enemies. While there is often concern over disrespect toward right-wing voters, Sargent writes, there has been very little attention to the presumptive Republican presidential nominee’s posting of “a video that declares a large ideological subgroup of Americans ‘done’ and ‘gone’ if he is elected.”
Scott MacFarlane of CBS News reported yesterday that Republicans have ignored a law passed in March 2022 requiring the placement of a small plaque honoring police officers who protected the U.S. Capitol and the lawmakers and staffers there on January 6, 2021. It was supposed to be in place by March 2023 but has not gone up. A spokesperson for House speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) says his office is working on it. Kayla Tausche of CNN reported today that three of the police officers at the Capitol that day—Sergeant Aquilino Gonell and Officer Harry Dunn, both retired, and Officer Daniel Hodges, who is still with the Washington, D.C., metropolitan police—will be traveling to swing states for the Biden campaign to tell voters that Trump threatens Americans’ fundamental rights.
Finally, today, Melinda French Gates, co-founder of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, announced $1 billion in new spending over the next two years “for people and organizations working on behalf of women and families around the world, including on reproductive rights in the United States.” Only 2% of charitable giving in the U.S. goes to these organizations, she wrote the New York Times, and “[f]or too long, a lack of money has forced organizations fighting for women's rights into a defensive posture while the enemies of progress play offense. I want to help even the match.”
—
Notes:
https://www.politico.com/news/2024/05/26/libertarians-reject-trump-rfk-chase-oliver-presidential-nominee-00160040
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/speeches-remarks/2024/05/27/remarks-by-president-biden-at-the-156th-national-memorial-day-observance-arlington-va/
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/speeches-remarks/2024/05/25/remarks-by-president-biden-in-commencement-address-to-the-united-states-military-academy-at-west-point-west-point-ny/
https://newrepublic.com/article/181973/trump-media-attacks-media-dangerous-turn
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/congress-fails-to-install-plaque-honoring-jan-6-police-officers/
https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/28/politics/biden-campaign-january-6-officers/index.html
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c722qy5dzlgo
https://www.politico.com/news/2024/05/25/trump-commute-ross-ulbricht-sentence-libertarian-convention-00160025
https://www.ice.gov/news/releases/ross-ulbricht-aka-dread-pirate-roberts-sentenced-life-federal-prison-creating
https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-is-spotlighting-ross-ulbricht-silk-road-appeal-to-libertarians-2024
https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4305566-trump-doubles-down-death-penalty-for-drug-dealers/
https://www.mediamatters.org/donald-trump/major-news-outlets-gave-much-less-coverage-trumps-vermin-attack-then-they-did-clintons
https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4687060-donald-trump-squeaky-chicken-libertarian-controversy/
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/28/opinion/melinda-french-gates-reproductive-rights.html
The Dworkin ReportDe Niro and Jan 6 Heroes Unload on Trump Outside NY TrialRobert De Niro just showed up outside the New York City courthouse, where Trump is facing 34 felony counts. Rightwing lunatics are already trying to start conspiracy theories lying and saying that thi…Read more8 hours ago · 765 likes · 132 comments · Scott Dworkin
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[CW: talk of ableism and trauma]
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TL;DR: My dad said to my mom when I took out my new fidget toy after a fairly traumatic day: “he’s (not my preferred pronouns) just going into ‘Autistic Mode’”. He said that he would look into group homes tomorrow again because I “treat them like shit”. I shut down around them, and have been doing so for at least a week or more. I don’t have a job, freshly graduated from college as of December, and I have been struggling to get interviews. I have been using my university’s career services and got accepted into Vocational Rehab, but my parents keep threatening to kick me out of the house and be done with me.
——————————
For reference, I am highly confident I am Autistic and ADHD, but I have not been officially diagnosed. I have a referral and am in the process. My med manager is treating me with non-stimulants which work well and have increased executive function. I have also been exploring my being queer over the last few years, but only recently tried to explain to my parents in totality last November.
I knew they are queerphobic, and I knew that I annoy / upset them when I don’t talk and engage, and that when I talk it’s too much and not about the right thing. I just wanted to believe I was wrong. I wanted to believe I was reading into things because I’ve had so many past experiences where what I felt and what I thought turned out to be false. And they say they love me, and they love me so much that they hate to see me in pain, and so I wanted to believe that it’s true.
The last few days have been hard. My parents had family friends over (that have known me since I was a baby, and they have two adult children that didn’t come this round) for memorial day weekend from out of state. Since seeing the friends last, I have been doing a lot of self-discovery and further accepting the queer parts of myself. I hadn’t been planning to change my name, until by happenstance I found one online that I wanted to be mine due to it's simplicity and androgynous nature. But my parents (and my brother, though he has trans friends) have not been supportive. I just thought they raised me and gave me a name they picked out and so didn’t want to use a new one. It doesn’t make it better, but it’s something.
But they have made it clear in past conversations that it would be unfair for me to tell family friends and extended relatives. And so I spent all of last week before the weekend trying to debate whether I should tell the family friends that were coming over in a text message before they arrived. I tried to summon the courage, but I ended up not doing that. So when I first saw them, I shut down when their first words were “Hey, ”. I decided that I would make myself scarce because I knew I would just keep shutting down and having trouble speaking with them. Literally, it would be the same as with my parents where either the words don’t come or I don’t have the energy to get them past my throat.
So, I tried to be polite when I saw them and just didn’t engage in extensive conversation. When they left, my dad told me I was rude and selfish, and that I need to write them a letter to apologize. I ended up sending them a text today to apologize (didn't explain everything), but I didn’t want to send a letter because I am tired of using my dead name, and I would need to sign it.
I have been trying to avoid my parents even though we live in the same house because I don’t have a job yet. I recently graduated from college in December, but I have not been able to get interviews. I have been making use of my university’s career services and made appointments with the head of engineering to make my resume more appealing in terms of software engineering. I graduated with Interdisciplinary Studies focusing on Computer Science, Creative Writing, and Linguistics. I just want a job right now, and computer jobs pay well. I am hoping to figure out something beneficial in Creative Writing later, maybe Ghost Writing or something that might pay better than that. I also got accepted to use Vocational Rehab, and so I have been working with them.
But, since I am avoiding my parents, they believe I am trying to make it clear that I hate them. They consistently say that I “treat them like shit” and I am “lazy and just want an easy life”. Today has been a hard day after all the turmoil over the last week, and so I have had very little energy. I thought I could be experiencing depression, but I know what that feels like and where it leads. I am not there yet. So, I think the best word to describe it is probably dejected. Like the people who are constantly in my life don’t want me. In the late afternoon, I decided I didn’t just want to sit up in my room anymore, so I drove down to my bookstore to browse, and then checked to see if I could refill my meds. I had about an hour where I started feeling happy and enjoying myself, especially being able to browse the books and look at the descriptions on the back and recording the ones I want to read for later.
When I got home for dinner so my parents didn’t get mad, it was like all that happiness disappeared the moment I saw them. I could not move my face even if I wanted to, to pretend like I was cheery and all right. We got dinner out, and then I sat down. The counselor I like seeing at career services is also an ADHDer. I saw her last week to go over more plans for jobs, and she showed me the various baskets of stim toys she keeps on her bookshelf to hand out to students. She gave me one that’s a tightly knit, long rectangle and has a small glass ball inside. You squeeze it and the ball moves back and forth.
I haven’t used stim toys much growing up because I thought I was supposed to bear all the frustration and anxiety. But I have been trying to treat myself kinder over the last few months. So, I’ve been taking that stim toy with me, and had it when I went to the bookstore. With dinner set up, my parents were trying to get me to interact and “be better”. Without thinking, I took out the stim toy. My dad said I was going into “Autistic Mode” and that they can’t do anything. He will look at group homes again tomorrow.
…
Up until that moment, I had doubts. I thought that they really were trying to accept me and it was just hard, especially with all the queerness and years of mental health management (since 2019 when I broke down). But over the last month or so, I’ve had various times where I needed to record my mental health history for intake and I started talking about my parents and how I am starting to recognize the gaslighting and emotional abuse.
I have also been trying hard to remember the good moments. But I can't remember a moment where I was showing signs I am clearly Autistic or ADHD, and that they genuinely enjoyed and loved it. Especially as I've gotten older. I remember them expecting me to get good grades in school from the beginning. If it wasn't "A"s they were upset, and if I failed a test they told me to study again and took me down to school to convince the teacher to let me test again. If I couldn't prove I knew the material and the teacher didn't let me retake it, then I was shunned on the way home.
I want so much to be wrong. I want so much for them to be right and that it's me who is abusing them like they say it is. I don't know why--I don't really feel any emotional love for them and I don't think I ever did, I just don't want them to suffer--but if I am the one who's hurting them then maybe I can change and stop. Maybe I can get better and show them love and be nice to them like they deserve. I wouldn't need to make a plan to estrange myself from them when I am on my feet to better take care of myself. I wish it was me.
I don't know why I am writing all of this. You all have your own problems and don't need to load on mine, and I am not going to pretend I have it the worst even just in my own city. I also feel manipulative, like I am only writing the bad parts and that I should try to remember and describe the good parts.
I just don't have anyone I can talk to right now. I have been out of therapy for a few months. I have been on wait lists for more experienced therapists dealing with gender-affirming care, since that has become a bigger problem. I have something scheduled for the middle of next month with a more general therapist and a referral to a specialized therapist as well.
But I just want to talk to someone who understands. I don't have that in my life. When doctors ask me if I have anyone I can just vent to or trust, I can't think of anyone. I have one friend, but since graduating we only meet up once a month. I can share a lot with her and she is supportive, but then I feel like that one meeting is filled with me trying to vent and seek therapy from her. I don't really want more social interaction, but I want to feel like someone sees me, the real me, and they actually like what they see.
I plan to call the suicide hotline tomorrow. Not because I am suicidal, but because I was told I don't need to be suicidal to call. I know my parents will hear me on the phone if I call tonight, and I don't really want to spend a long time writing out the words in a text to the text number to explain everything when the person on the other end might not be able to fully understand, and so they would just tell me what they think I need to hear. But I guess I'd get the same from the phone call.
I don't know how to wrap this up, and it sounds when I read this over like I am quite lucid and therefore being petty by putting this here. I am lucid, but it doesn't really help me feel better. I can't lie to myself anymore; I've been trying so hard to not lie to myself when I spot it. I am sorry for the long rambling and various tangents. I just want to put this somewhere where people might understand.

Title explanation: Lilia lost her airpods at school but found them the next day.
Today is Lilia’s very last day of middle school ever. Her 8th grade graduation is tomorrow. Today is her last in service day of school. Jess is so sad dropping Lilia off. Jess sent her first born off to her very last day of middle school. The next time Jess drops Lilia off it will be at high school. Lilia’s graduation is not until tomorrow. Today is Lilia’s last academic day of school. Jess can’t believe that this day has come. Jess came to home depot because she will finish the bathroom this week. They have been doing it themselves. It is taking quite a while and is low on the priority list. Jess wants to finish it this week. On the way to home depot Jess remembered when she had Lilia. Jess was pregnant at 17 and had Lilia at 18. Even something as simple as calculating how old Jess would be when Lilia was 10. Jess feels like everyone does that when you first have a kid. Jess has always known that when Lilia graduates high school she will be 36. Jess was thinking about all the memories of Lilia. It dawned on Jess that she is 32. Lilia only has 4 more years left of school. 18 year old Jess thought that that moment was so far away. However it is here and not so far away. It was a blink of an eye. Jess will be a mess tomorrow at Lilia’s graduation. Jess already feels it. Jess is not a crier. (I already knew that. She fake cries all the time but no actual tears come out.) In The last 2 years Jess has gotten more emotional because she realizes more how beautiful life is. Everything is making Jess emotional. Even some movies Jess watches are making her emotional. Jess hates watching people cry because it is so annoying. Jess can’t believe that she is here and that this is happening. It goes by in the blink of an eye and then it is over. Jess still has so much time left. Jess is going to focus on the bathroom because it is getting out of control and is sad.
Jess is wearing Landen’s crocs because they were the only shoes she could find and they fit her. Kyson and Kaden’s shoes are too big. Jess wants to do a retro curvy strip across the bathroom wall. Jess is going to do 5 colors that complement each other and go with the theme. Jess doesn’t know how this will turn out. Jess is winging this. Chris had to come and save the day because they don't take apple pay. After Chris dropped the little kids off at school he came and met Jess at home depot.
Jess doesn’t have too much time because Lilia has a minimum day. The guys are working on the ADU today. Lilia has a minimum day since it is the very last day of school. Jess doesn’t have too much time. The rest of the kids are not out of school today. It is not their last day of school. They have a whole week left of school. They are on a very different schedule. They still have a solid week and a half. Today is Lilia’s last academic day. Tomorrow is her graduation. The following day is when Lilia leaves on her 8th grade trip to washington dc/new york. Jess is excited for Lilia but also nervous. Jess finished all of the cabinet doors and put the paint away. However she forgot a door so she had to put everything back out.
Jess is going to attempt the very first line of the bathroom. The wall is just so plain. Jess wants a little something to go across. Her vision is for it to go up the wall and over the other wall above the light fixture. There is so much space. Jess doesn’t know. She is going to completely wing this. Jess needs to finish off the wall paint. Jess ended up sticking with the darker pepto bismol color on one wall, and the lighter one on the other 2 walls. Jess went back and forth but she decided to try it like that. If she hates it she will repaint it. Jess does hate it but she didn’t want to repaint it and then she liked the contrast. They will see it with the strip on it. The strip will add another element.
Jess just came to Lilia’s school to pick her up. Yesterday they had a picnic outside for lunch. At some point in the day Lilia realized she was missing her airpods. She doesn’t know at what point she lost them. Lilia thinks she lost them somewhere out in the huge grass area. They checked lost and found but no one turned them in. They are hoping they are in the tall grass area. They are not catching a signal through the find my iphone setting. They are still not connecting. It is not looking good. They found them. Jess is shocked. They were buried in a patch of grass. That is a miracle. They were exactly where Lilia’s phone said they were. Jess can’t believe it. What a way to kick off summer. Jess is shook. Jess knew they could do it. Jess is so happy.
Addie has cheer today. Today is going to be a crazy day for Addie. Addie has cheer, then straight to dance for pictures. Landen got his hair repermed yesterday. Jess is confident about it this time because they cut it shorter which Jess loves. The guy that they take Landen to get his hair permed. The guy is so amazing that they started taking the rest of the kids to get their hair cut from him. Chris started getting his haircut from him. This was a really good find. The downside is that he only works 3 days a week so you have to plan for those days. Those days are the days that they have soccer. Landen goes from getting his hair freshly permed straight to soccer practice. Jess feels like it isn’t good but they don’t have any other options. This week their soccer schedule has completely changed because it is the end of the season. Jess feels like it will stick better this time because Landen wore a bonnet to bed last night. Jess is going to get Landen one for himself. Everyone should wear them. Landen isn’t going to practice and sweating it out and he is protecting his hair at night. Landen just has Jess’s hair texture which never has held a curl. Jess got a perm once or twice but it didn’t stick. It went straight immediately. That is exactly what Landen’s did. Jess thinks it also might be a hair texture thing. Even to this day Jess’s curls won’t last all day. It is flat by the end of the day. Even if Jess puts certain products in it it still doesn’t hold like others do.
Mango has been extremely happy. His beard isn’t black, his appetite is back and he is eating normally. Mango started dribbling from the side when eating. The lump has gotten bigger. (Well you decided to stop all meds and let nature take its course. Nature is taking its course.) His mouth is open on the side that has the lump. Jess doesn’t know why. The lump is getting bigger. However Mango is really happy and in good spirits. Mango is eating normal. Jess doesn’t know what to do. (How about going back to the vet and resuming the meds?) They are taking it day by day. Mango is happy and that is all Jess cares about.
Addie has flight school today. It teaches how to do lifts in cheer. Jess isn’t a seasoned cheer mom yet. Then they have to go straight to her dance dress rehearsal.

I'm(24) planning to take my lady(22) to San Diego for a 3 day 2 night weekend stay after her graduation mid June. Among the other things, I was planning to take her baclub hopping on Sat night in downtown. We've never explored SD city.
She really likes clubs, dancing, RnB and Reggaeton. So we'll probably start at a bar, but the goal is to do mostly clubs/settle at a good one. Her usual spots are gay bars/clubs in West Hollywood, and she mentioned that a "plus" in those areas is she doesn't get unwanted male attention or creeps because people are really respectful no matter how she dresses. A place with a lot of dancing, music she likes, and minimal weirdos would be ideal.
I've done some research across various websites and reddit for the best clubs in SD, and found a couple of repeat club names. In order : Sidebar, Parq, Bang Bang, Onyx, Nova, Bloom, Sevilla.
I know some of these have cover fees up to 30$, so realistically we wouldn't hit all the clubs. I'm also aware of the SD club crawl, and the 2 clubs they'd take u that Sat are Bloom and Parq, so it might be worth it depending on what yall say.
Anyway, so I'm wondering if these clubs are at the top of these lists because they're actually good, or if it's just the hype. Aka - do the locals have different opinions?
What do yall recommend for first-timers in GasLamp? (Any gay club recommendations in SD in general would be appreciated too)

Hey guys, I'm new to modding on Skyrim, done a lot of research and tried to place these in the right order. I have 93 and have a lot of space left tbh and don't know what the problem is. It doesn't even let me go into the game at all and crashes instantly... I'll show you my load order list
1.unofficial Skyrim special edition

1. Simple workaround
   
2. EFPS 2.3
   
3. reforging to the masses
   
4. City trees (AIO)
   
5. Swift chaos- monster
   
6. MODERN WEAPONS V26
   
7. Video game weapons in Skyrim
   
8. Rich merchants of Skyrim xb1
   
9. The horror below- a horror mod
   
10. The dread knight- ebony warrior remake
    
11. Diverse dragons collection xb1
    
12. BIG: MORE KILL MOVES AND DECAPITATIONS
    
13. OPEN WORLD BOSSES
    
14. XB1 LAMPPOSTS OF SKYRIM
    
15. MINIMALISTIC AUTO SAVE
    
16. ITS JUST TIME- A DYNAMIC TIMESCALE MOD
    
17. dragon wall wisdom- readable dragon walla
    
18. Extended guard dialogue
    
19. Sensible interface- updated
    
20. Nordic skyhud
    
21. Oblivion interaction icons- centaur
    
22. SWF^2: Taylor SWF
    
23. Nordic UI SWF² HUD
    
24. TESG load screen replacer- SSE port
    
25. EHI redux
    
26. Isilmerials LOTR weapons
    
27. ARS Metallica
    
28. 360 walk and run
    
29. Just blood - SWF edition
    
30. R.a.s.s. (shaders and effects)
    
31. 20 PCT more perks points xb1
    
32. 50 PCR more perks points xb1
    
33. Ordinator - perks of Skyrim
    
34. Phendrix magic evolved
    

36.apocalypse - magic of Skyrim

1. Thunderchild - epic shouts and immersion
   
2. Strange runes lite
   
3. Weightless souls gems and ingredients
   
4. Old kingdom - crafting add on
   
5. Sounds of Skyrim - complete
   
6. A bows whisper - bow sound
   
7. Wander (original v3.1)
   
8. Rainbows over waterfalls
   
9. red mountain volcano - tamriels natural wonder
   
10. True storms special edition xb1 rain and thunder
    
11. Mintys lightning during storms mod
    
12. Skoglendi - a grass mod
    
13. Landscape fixes for grass
    
14. No grassias by knight4life
    
15. Movement and behaviors enhanced 2.0
    
16. Sekiro combat S
    
17. Violens - a kill move mod SE xb1
    
18. Super SMIM'D IK512
    
19. fluffworks (fluffy animals)
    
20. Skyland - a landscape texture overhaul
    
21. night sky HD 8K
    
22. Witcher 3 styled farm fences
    
23. Royal armory
    
24. Transparent and refracting icicle and frost atronach xb1
    
25. Elsopas quivers
    
26. ELFX shadows
    
27. ELFX shadows enhancer
    
28. Updated - enhanced lights and FX
    
29. Dawn waters w/natural waterfalls
    
30. Xb1 insignificant object remover
    
31. My INI performance
    
32. Valravn - integrated
    
33. SS hit stop - updated 2023
    
34. 2S4M ghosts visual makeover
    
35. A list of MIHAIL monster mods such as the fanged goutis, worm mouths, animal flesh atronachs, water hags, and the wraith of crows
    
36. Woolly rhino xb1
    
37. Playable skeleton races - become a lich
    
38. Xb1 dragon man - werewolve replacer player only SE 1.0
    
39. feral dragons avatar
    
40. Xb1 vampire lord replacer - spectral dragon priest skeleton
    
41. Reasonablely buffed perks
    
42. Xb1 spectral argonian skull spell - ghost version
    
43. 4 enchantments
    
44. Ancient dragonborn power xb1
    
45. SRE strange random encounters
    
46. The betrayed armour by cALAMIN - standalone version
    
47. Yaldabaoth armour
    
48. Xb1 easier mining and chopping
    
49. Comprehensive first person animation overhaul - CFPAO
    
50. fast leveling
    
51. Dynamic impact - slash effects X
    
52. Just a simple ALT start mod
    

Please if you have any way on how to help me please do!!

Hey guys, I'm new to modding on Skyrim, done a lot of research and tried to place these in the right order. I have 93 and have a lot of space left tbh and don't know what the problem is. It doesn't even let me go into the game at all and crashes instantly... I'll show you my load order list
1.unofficial Skyrim special edition

1. Simple workaround
   
2. EFPS 2.3
   
3. reforging to the masses
   
4. City trees (AIO)
   
5. Swift chaos- monster
   
6. MODERN WEAPONS V26
   
7. Video game weapons in Skyrim
   
8. Rich merchants of Skyrim xb1
   
9. The horror below- a horror mod
   
10. The dread knight- ebony warrior remake
    
11. Diverse dragons collection xb1
    
12. BIG: MORE KILL MOVES AND DECAPITATIONS
    
13. OPEN WORLD BOSSES
    
14. XB1 LAMPPOSTS OF SKYRIM
    
15. MINIMALISTIC AUTO SAVE
    
16. ITS JUST TIME- A DYNAMIC TIMESCALE MOD
    
17. dragon wall wisdom- readable dragon walla
    
18. Extended guard dialogue
    
19. Sensible interface- updated
    
20. Nordic skyhud
    
21. Oblivion interaction icons- centaur
    
22. SWF^2: Taylor SWF
    
23. Nordic UI SWF² HUD
    
24. TESG load screen replacer- SSE port
    
25. EHI redux
    
26. Isilmerials LOTR weapons
    
27. ARS Metallica
    
28. 360 walk and run
    
29. Just blood - SWF edition
    
30. R.a.s.s. (shaders and effects)
    
31. 20 PCT more perks points xb1
    
32. 50 PCR more perks points xb1
    
33. Ordinator - perks of Skyrim
    
34. Phendrix magic evolved
    

36.apocalypse - magic of Skyrim

1. Thunderchild - epic shouts and immersion
   
2. Strange runes lite
   
3. Weightless souls gems and ingredients
   
4. Old kingdom - crafting add on
   
5. Sounds of Skyrim - complete
   
6. A bows whisper - bow sound
   
7. Wander (original v3.1)
   
8. Rainbows over waterfalls
   
9. red mountain volcano - tamriels natural wonder
   
10. True storms special edition xb1 rain and thunder
    
11. Mintys lightning during storms mod
    
12. Skoglendi - a grass mod
    
13. Landscape fixes for grass
    
14. No grassias by knight4life
    
15. Movement and behaviors enhanced 2.0
    
16. Sekiro combat S
    
17. Violens - a kill move mod SE xb1
    
18. Super SMIM'D IK512
    
19. fluffworks (fluffy animals)
    
20. Skyland - a landscape texture overhaul
    
21. night sky HD 8K
    
22. Witcher 3 styled farm fences
    
23. Royal armory
    
24. Transparent and refracting icicle and frost atronach xb1
    
25. Elsopas quivers
    
26. ELFX shadows
    
27. ELFX shadows enhancer
    
28. Updated - enhanced lights and FX
    
29. Dawn waters w/natural waterfalls
    
30. Xb1 insignificant object remover
    
31. My INI performance
    
32. Valravn - integrated
    
33. SS hit stop - updated 2023
    
34. 2S4M ghosts visual makeover
    
35. A list of MIHAIL monster mods such as the fanged goutis, worm mouths, animal flesh atronachs, water hags, and the wraith of crows
    
36. Woolly rhino xb1
    
37. Playable skeleton races - become a lich
    
38. Xb1 dragon man - werewolve replacer player only SE 1.0
    
39. feral dragons avatar
    
40. Xb1 vampire lord replacer - spectral dragon priest skeleton
    
41. Reasonablely buffed perks
    
42. Xb1 spectral argonian skull spell - ghost version
    
43. 4 enchantments
    
44. Ancient dragonborn power xb1
    
45. SRE strange random encounters
    
46. The betrayed armour by cALAMIN - standalone version
    
47. Yaldabaoth armour
    
48. Xb1 easier mining and chopping
    
49. Comprehensive first person animation overhaul - CFPAO
    
50. fast leveling
    
51. Dynamic impact - slash effects X
    
52. Just a simple ALT start mod
    

Please if you have any way on how to help me please do!!

So I (21F) am struggling with university, I'm doing a degree I love and I'm the type of person who enjoys learning so the extent I went to uni even though I'm not a great academic.
I started off university 3 years ago, first semester I had amazing grades, I wasn't working and all my time was used for studying and socialising. The second semester I decided I should start working, I was getting living loan payments from my student loan for the first semester and decided I could probably cut that off in order to reduce how much money I would be in debt for.
Honestly it was the worst decision of my life. Since I started working my grades dropped, my attendance was null and I wasn't even earning enough money for it to be worth even continuing to work.
Ever since then, I've failed multiple papers, passed a few with good grades, haven't regularly attended any lectures and I'm still broker than I was in my first semester.
I feel so lost because I know financially it's not worth continuing university if I keep failing, on the other side the three years worth of loans isn't worth it unless I see it through.
Going through university for this long, seeing my friends about to graduate this year and I'm still repeating classes is making me re-evaluate everything. I truely enjoy studying, I enjoy learning and the hope of a career in my chosen industry is so exciting, but the pattern of burning out before exams is so intense I can't even find the time to decide whether or not it's even worth it anymore.
I feel like I've subconsciously made the decision that quitting my job (I get like 8-10 hours a week it's not worth even working) is the best choice for me and the way I function but I'm so overwhelmed and broken constantly that I've never gotten to the point where I can actually make the move to do anything about it.
I desperately need advice, I really don't want to drop out of uni. I made a mistake starting to work, even after a horrible breakup I was studying 8-9 hours a day and failing because I can't seem to study and work in the same day.
I'm sick of comparing myself to other people who can handle work and study at the same time, I've put my trust in hard work for 3 years and I've seen a significant drop in my overall mental health and life health simply because of this one decision I made years ago.

First Previous Wiki
Penny gazed at the quartet of Elders. They were all wearing the merchandise she remembered from the last Judgment, which was exceedingly awkward. Mainly because they were wearing shirts with her face on them. But it was also oddly endearing, in a way. Until now, she hadn't seen too many Elders that were on her side.
Elders that weren't just Kashaunta or the familiar faces she already knew, like Spentha or Rho and Sai, actually showing appreciation of her, felt odd. Even if these ones went a little too far in it.
"You're even more beautiful in person, Liberator," one said.
"Uh, thanks. I appreciate that. I'm glad that you all like me. Rho and Sai told me that you all are interested in something I can give you?"
"Yeah. Maybe a short interview? We won't be like that airhead reporter. We'll ask the good questions."
"Yep, we will."
"Right then," Penny said. "Well, I'm glad to meet you."
"Thank you. Now that we're here, we'd like to know how you plan on taking care of the gang leaders."
"Well, presumably by imprisoning them. I don't think they deserve to die, even if others do. I'll leave that decision up to Justicar and his various judges in the criminal system."
Penny didn't like having to lie blatantly. She wanted to kill the slavers quite brutally, but doing that was a bad idea right now. Saying it also was a bad idea, for a similar reason. And Justicar's system was worryingly preferential to Elders, from what she'd looked up after the meeting with Pundacrawla.
"Aren't you worried that the Judges won't give proper justice?"
"I trust Justicar to do everything that is necessary."
Another lie. Justicar would do whatever he could to maintain his image. Hopefully, that wouldn't be at the cost of the Alliance's very existence.
"Got it. By the way, what's it like being human? Walking on only two legs. It seems kind of unstable. Do you fall a lot?"
A genuine curiosity from them was another breath of fresh air. It was the kind of question a quadruped would definitely ask, which put her more at ease about the nature of what they were trying to do. Even more than their evident support of her, with all the merch they were wearing. Penny felt a smile crack at the corners of her lips, unbidden.
"Not really. We can use our arms to steady ourselves pretty well. Obviously it's not as easy to balance on our two legs as it is with your four, but it's still good enough. In fact, the sprinters in the Olympics use all four limbs, since running as fast as possible also requires pumping our arms. As for what it's like to be human, it's hard to describe. For many of us, it will feel colder or warmer than Sprilnav would feel in the same temperatures, due to thinner skin. Our eyesight is more frontal than yours, given our lack of snouts, so our blindspots are a lot bigger. Our feet require shoes for rough ground, and we heal slower than you by around 20%. We can't really clack our jaws to the scale that you can, though we can make them meet."
Penny bared her teeth, showing as she opened and closed her mouth. It was nice to be able to talk about things like this.
"The Olympics?" one of them asked.
"It's a competition about athletics," Penny said. "Running, jumping, throwing, diving, swimming, skiing, snowboarding, and a lot of sports. There's specific divisions, too. Like how there's a 100 meter dash, 200 meter dash, 400 meter dash, and even an 800 meter dash for those with high levels of psychic energy. Though really, psychic energy and genetic editing have been messing with the events for a while now. And there's a Winter, Summer, and Space Olympics, each with different sorts of events. They move from city to city, though the Space Olympics are pretty much always on either Luna, Ceres, or Mercury. There's a lot more information out there on various events, but it's an old cultural practice revered by the entire species. Even more so since Phoebe's increased the prize pools for everyone."
"How does your species handle space in general? I know that you guys did things way differently before First Contact."
"We did. Mining companies kept tight control on all asteroid mining, while nations controlled planets like Earth and Mars and large planetary bodies like Luna. Supposedly, a few people planned for a cloud city on Venus, but we couldn't risk having such a vulnerable population because they'd have to rely on giant balloons to survive. That would probably be the least secure way to live, given the existence of rogue organizations and all that.
As for spaceships, most of them since we really colonized Luna come equipped with spacesuit bays, zero gravity water and food packs, oxygen tanks, emergency seats, specialized anti-micrometeorite hulls, and radiation shielding. A lot of the older military ships also were equipped with big radiators until World War Three, when it all became masses of drone warfare, with the big ships kept mainly for cargo and lanes where mass drone control was impossible.
Once the Vinarii came and we got shields, we started building big again. After all, it provided a huge number of jobs, and in the post-war economies, especially with VIs in place, a lot of people needed work. But we still go and do asteroid and moon mining, star lifting, and energy gathering. We built an orbital ring around Mercury, the closest planet to Sol, to help with all of that. It doubles as a production hub, too. Now, it's all in more systems and with a lot more friends."
"Speaking of aliens, what theory does your people have on why so many creatures resemble one another? Our jaws are adapted for hard shelled creatures, and we're told that many planets have oddly similar variations of those."
"Crabs."
She guessed what they were getting at.
It is odd, isn't it? Nilnacrawla observed.
Perhaps that is another one of the Source's whims, Penny thought.
Maybe.
A few of the Elders made exclamations of shock.
"You even have a word for them that directly translates!"
Penny chuckled. "Yeah, carcinization is a bit of a meme in the science community. But I've heard the most mainstream theories since the First Contact are that the Source itself is uncreative. It has a certain template of creatures which it largely doesn't alter, though it can take in inputs from beings close to it, perhaps even influencing them."
"Influencing them?"
"Yes. Modern depictions of wendigoes, folkloric creatures from North America, a continent on Earth, are shockingly similar to the Knowers in appearance. The internet depictions of them in particular like to emphasize canine qualities, and often show them with skulls visible directly, and with dark brown or black fur. Recent depictions, as in the past 300 years, differ from their original appearances quite significantly, with the canine characteristics in particular being enhanced.
We have sorted through all known images of these creatures and found roughly 80% similarity with the Knowers and tens of thousands of images that are literally exactly the same as Knowers. The ones we searched all came before World War Three, far before even the First Contact with the Vinarii, much less the Knowers who were entirely underground at the time due to the radiation of their home star. We believe that the Source managed to influence this facet of human culture with the actual existence of a real creature.
Other examples exist, like how the Trikkec look very similar to Komodo Dragons, Vinarii look very similar to insects known as a mantis, and the Acuarfar look exactly like insects known as wasps with the single exception of their furry snouts and green instead of yellow markings. The Sprilnav species itself shares high amounts of similarity with a fictional species known as Elites in early 2000s culture, particularly with your jaws, though you all have red skin instead of grey or brown.
The Junyli, Dreedeen, and the wanderers are the main species without high amounts of appearance in our cultures at some point. This correlates with the idea of the Source being the influencer, as their predecessors all were used to fight it. Many species of the galaxy look like parts of our culture or Earth's creatures. The proximity of these examples makes this far more suspicious than if they were across the galaxy.
But since they existed first, the only answer must be that the Source brought the influence to us first and planted the ideas in our heads. As for the ones which look like Earth creatures, all of them are old enough evolutionary branches that copying from them to Earth makes more sense. Though the references centering around the early 2000s is quite odd, it is also roughly when the internet came into wide existence, so it is also possible the Source gave the ideas a push so they would propagate, for an unknown reason. Like if it seeded the ideas that propagated across the early global network Humanity used."
"Hmm. Fascinating. We've seen evidence of the 'seeding' process among some historical nations near the galactic region of Earth before. So the Source re-uses and alters depictions of life and also life itself?"
"Maybe," Penny said. "Unless the Source is more directly tied to life than we think. There's a conceptual Death, but no conceptual Life. Isn't that odd?"
"Conceptual Life died in the Source war."
How did that really work, though? Penny asked Nilnacrawla.
Imagine a conceptual being. A few of the Progenitors, as well as Narvravarana, went up to try to harvest its power. It refused, and Narvravarana used its unique abilities to try and force the deal.
Why was your civilization like this?
Excess and greed, partly. But we couldn't really do much more expansion. Vertical expansion also had its limits if we wanted to remain relevant for the remaining lifespan of the universe. So Narvravarana, along with a few of the greatest rulers and leaders of Sprilnav society, started looking to other dimensional planes. They figured it was best not to let the problem get too much worse. Or at least, that is what they say. I believe it was to harvest more resources to use against our surrounding enemies.
You didn't have any allies? Penny asked.
At that time, all the powers of the universe were enemies. All the allies eventually merged through millions of years of normalization. We happened to get on the universal stage the earliest, so other civilizations we encountered had little choice but to surrender their independence. Some fought, others didn't, but the outcome was the same.
That seems terrible.
It was, though the other universal civilizations were no better. Some of them just exterminated all alien life they found that couldn't fight back. In that sense, the pre-war Sprilnav civilization was one of the greatest, and that's why I fought for them. Obviously, I'm biased in that regard, though.
Thanks for telling me, father.
No problem, Penny.
She refocused back on the conversation at hand.
"But a thing cannot be alive if it dies. The concept of life doesn't work that way. So maybe the Source just... took in the concept of life? Or absorbed it into whatever psychic energy really is, considering that it's responsible for all of our existence?"
"That's so crazy it might actually be true," one of the Elders said. "You're incredible, Penny."
"Uh, thanks. You're all pretty great too." Her eyes drifted to the images of herself on their clothing. She couldn't really help it.
"I have a question for you."
"Yes?"
"Do you know what I'm fighting for?"
"I assume since you're asking it here, you don't just want a one word answer," an Elder said. "I would say yes, and for the liberation of the Sprilnav from the stain of slavery. Though going deeper into your history, you have also fought for other species, either in wars or just generally moving around. It does look aimless, mostly, since the galaxy's so big. But I'm sure you've got a way through that."
"In some way. Part of why I'm here isn't just about my people. It was at first, I admit that. But as I have lived here, on Justicar, for days and weeks, I've seen you less as alien. It makes it easier for sympathy and easier to break out of simple mindsets. So far, there are many problems, but there are distinct pieces. The first is that many people want to uphold slavery. I'm not sure why, but they do. It isn't profitable, and it isn't moral. Robots are cheaper in every way, and don't need food or water.
That means it's illogical or emotional. So I could try and solve the problem with violence alone, but it won't be addressing the cause, only the symptoms. I need to get to the heart of the matter. And I think it has to do with Elders' memories and the gradual woes they have accumulated going through life. I don't want to tear that away or drug them into believing they're fine. I want to find a way to outlet that productively. The second part I have identified is scale. The galaxy is enormous, and your species is incredibly numerous. I could fight planet by planet for the rest of my life, and liberation would still be difficult.
That also means I'd need a better way of doing things. Maybe an economic or political incentive. Emotional reasons will not work permanently, nor will logic, since we are in this situation. I have found several ways to address this. Sadly, since the gangs are likely monitoring this feed, I can't just outright say my strategy. All I can ask you all to do is to believe. Believe that I have a solution, and that I and those who stand with me are working on it. Believe in me because I believe in you."
None of the Elders questioned or ridiculed her words. Most of it was because they were fans of her. But one of them, an Elder named Rahautiti, had a distinct glint in his eye. Their gazes met only momentarily, but Penny could tell he knew.
And so she appeared in the mindscape, even as they concluded the interview, which would be the first of many. It was a ploy to just talk about human culture and ideals a bit more, to get it out there. Because the hivemind's theory was correct.
In the universe, ideas had power. That power could be weaponized against those who previously stood to gain. The first part of it was the image: Nova as an unbeatable bastion. Lecalicus as the Beast, a monster capable of star-crushing rage. Twilight as... whatever she did. Penny wasn't really familiar with the Progenitor's image too much, and the various names, like the Silent Night or the Smiling Darkness, were just so unbelievably edgy she cringed every time she recalled them.
But Rahautiti understood so she moved her mindscape avatar to see him.
"Hello again, Penny. I am no threat."
"I know. I'm glad that your group is led by someone as capable as you, as well as the other groups you dabble within."
"Who discovered it?"
"Phoebe. You met with Ezeonwha, and the android wanted to ensure you weren't a way for Yasihaut to kill him."
"Yeah. We did get approached about that, actually. We're supposed to kill Ezeonwha when you walk into the Judgment hall. Of course, we won't do this, and she won't be able to retaliate against us easily while there."
"Thank you for your honesty, Elder," Penny said. "It seems I'm in your debt."
"Nonsense. 2,839. That is the number of children I have had. 2,626. That is the number of children of mine which were enslaved. The remaining 213 died in unrelated incidents, with nearly half of those involving slavers killing them. I remember all of their names, and all of their faces, Penny. I want all the slavers in this universe dead."
"I cannot achieve that."
"You cannot," Rahautiti agreed. "Not with my help or even that of Kashaunta and Lecalicus. And certainly not right now. I have not lived this long to be incapable of compromise or patchwork solutions. You show great promise. I understand your aversion to killing and the circumstantial reason why you are not doing so now. I will not grow upset if you do not resume killing when the Judgment ends. Nor do I harbor a grudge against you for the speeding space entity you left outside the room to avoid uncomfortable publicity. You are incredibly young.
A sliver of a life. But you are strong, and you are mature. That sliver of your lifespan already outshines all I could do with a trillion more years, Penny. You are right in that this isn't something you can punch your way through. Trauma is part of why slavery still exists, despite it being a wholly unjust reason for the Elders to make such a sport of it. I am sure you know the story of the war, with a great hero in your head and Kashaunta at your side. My line of work is what I started to help you. Every thought about you being the Liberator, every eye that glances on you freeing slaves, helps you to gather conceptual energy. My talent happens to be great enough to sense the Pact of Blades you have, as well. If you want, I can teach you how to hide the mark on your soul and your mind."
"I would like that, yes," Penny said. "And thank you for being so reasonable. I will ask Kashaunta to protect you from what consequences come for refusing the offer on Ezeonwha."
"There are going to be attacks on him, you know. Him and your ship."
Penny felt an odd feeling in her soul. Cardi's power flared around him, and she squinted at the sky. She just barely saw a sliver of a tentacle. Most would have mistaken it for a normal speeding space entity. But here? On Justicar, with Exile obviously not being the cause?
Only one being would cause that. Fate.
Given the subject of their conversation, it was obvious what was going on.
Penny tapped Rahautiti's jaw, adding a thin mark of conceptual power so she could easily find him again. She focused on the conceptual mark she'd left on Ezeonwha. A twinge of conceptual energy came from it. It was accompanied by various impressions, like fear, pain, and acceptance.
"I have to go," Penny said. "I will be back later. Displace."
She appeared next to the 102nd Visitor Welcome Office but not next to Ezeonwha. It was carnage everywhere she looked.
"Champion!" an unknown Elder yelled. "I am Elder Na-"
Her rising fury surged, and it took all she had not to dismember him. The distant thought of the Judgment stayed her hands, though only just.
Penny's fist collided with the Elder's jaw at twice the speed of sound. A piece of his jaws flew free. Bone fragments hit the ground behind him. Hundreds of soldiers fired on her, and she slammed them to the ground with pure will. Penny tore their guns away and sent them each to pummel the Elder in front of her with as much brutality as she could. His powerful armor wasn't as capable of defense against physical attacks as it was against her psychic energy, and so he fell.
"You... cannot save him," the Elder spat. Fields of psychic suppression fell upon her, reducing her power.
"Manipulation through Determination," Penny growled. "De-"
No! Nilnacrawla said. Do not kill him! Not yet!
"What goes up will go down."
Air hardened around the Elder and accelerated rapidly.
The Elder smashed into the shield five miles above with a speed just slow enough that he wouldn't die. He fell from it and then hit it again at a more modest speed. He'd bounce on that until the Guides came to get him.
But Penny had another target. One she had to save instead of attack.
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High Judge Tassidonia awoke to the sound of explosions. He grabbed his swords, his main gun, and the personal shield he reserved for only the most dire occasions. The sky was erupting in war all around him, and buildings were already falling nearby. The spires of skyscrapers rained down upon the entrances to the Underground, crushing thousands of fleeing Sprilnav under their wide impacts.
His implant identified members of the gangs nearby, making their way to his home.
"Retribution Cycle!" Tassidonia cried. A hidden door opened, and he boarded a small hovercraft that sported a high amount of defensive and offensive technology, a gift from Justicar for dealing with all that he had related to the Judgment. Only this time, he wouldn't be on the next one. But already, the destruction was spreading.
Micro-missiles rained upon friend and foe alike. Several detonated against the layered shields. The mounted turrets on the side of his hoverbike shot lasers into the enemies his implant identified.
"Elder Tassidonia!" an Elder cried nearby. "For the crime of defying the will of-"
Tassidonia called his fury to bear. He rammed his mind into the enemy Elder, disorienting her. She reeled, about to attack, when a thick laser smashed into her chest. It pushed her against the wall, and Tassidonia kept the pressure up until her body melted. He listened to her screams impassively, occasionally sending blasts from his gun at the gangs when their members started to stray too close.
The thick red beam did its work within twenty pulses. His swords began to float beside him, keeping pace as he sped away from his home. The entire apartment complex shuddered and began to lean, its foundation being destroyed by some effect below. Tassidonia abandoned it with only minor regret. He'd known this moment would come. Everything he needed was already with him.
He linked into the Guide network, directing squadrons to attack the breaches he'd identified. Orbital strikes fell upon them in quick succession. Thick beams of light pierced through the lower planetary shields from orbital platforms, their guns honing in on Justicar's enemies. Tassidonia's implant was linked to the grid as well. So when he eyed buildings occupied with too many gang members, orbital strikes fell on them a few pulses later.
Fire and plasma rained all around him. Explosions and smoke blossomed all around him. More missiles fell from his hovercraft. A fighter ship appeared beside him, its simple stealth revealing itself to his eyes. Tassidonia waited for the pilot chamber to open, and his craft stowed itself behind him when he got in. It was fully equipped, so soon, Tassidonia was in full control of a weapon of war.
His first order of business was detecting the gangs' most fortified areas. He peppered those bases in shield-weakening mines, followed by bunker-buster missiles. Several anti-air turrets hit him, but his shields prevented them from taking him down. He dropped three high-end Butcher Androids into the fray of the largest battles.
One of the adjacent fighter wings in the separate shield sector dropped a nuke. At that moment, Tassidonia made a decision.
Whatever insanity was going on right now wasn't worth staying here on his own. He turned his ship upward, narrowly avoiding nearly fifty missiles shot from another gang fortress, which was really just the lower floors of a supermarket. Thick slabs of concrete were being set up by androids and slaves from the Underground. All he could do was watch from above and attempt to mark those that might be a problem.
Justicar's Grand Fleet was moving in, though only the carriers and their escorts were doing anything of any scale. The armies were mobilizing, and it seemed that war had finally broken out. Justicar, while isolated due to the Judgment, would have to win a war that threatened to topple his rule entirely.
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Ezeonwha woke when the walls around him shuddered.
An earthquake?
Groggily, he activated the lights in the room. Phoebe's android was charging in the wall. Her limbs swayed with the motion. The walls shuddered again, and the lights went out. Thin, tiny cracks spread in the walls, increasing his worry factors massively. His implant notified him that this wasn't a dream. Distant screams reached his ears, and he went to the window.
Hordes of Sprilnav were running on the ground, tripping over each other to escape. He heard the thump of footsteps approaching from outside. The android activated, standing up.
"Move away from the doo-"
An explosion tossed him across the room. A Sprilnav carrying some sort of mouth weapon faded into view for a moment, smoke recalibrating the stealth field. And then he was gone. Phoebe smashed into the Sprilnav, her fists pummeling the assassin faster than Ezeonwha could comprehend.
Phoebe's arms turned into swords, and she stabbed the Sprilnav at least fifty times in a single pulse. She turned to grab him, but before she reached him, a second explosion sent him flying out of the now-shattered window.
The massive skyscraper loomed large, and he saw the ground beneath it ripple. Dull thumps sounded from below, and large, circular caverns opened beneath the 102nd Visitor Welcome Office. The whole building started to list forward, and Ezeonwha frantically activated his emergency personal shield as he started falling faster and faster. A bullet hit the shield. And then a second one. Gunshots echoed out in the distance, and he saw other Sprilnav falling from broken windows in the falling skyscraper. Gunfire erupted on the streets as Guides engaged a growing army of attackers bubbling up from basements of shops and businesses.
He saw spurts of blood exit the Sprilnav nearest him, bullets tearing holes through the woman's body. Piercing screams surrounded him, a terrible chorus that reminded him of the worst wars he'd fought in. But here, his training could do nothing. She was already dead, and he knew that he was the target of this whole attack. His eyes watered, and Ezeonwha felt so powerless. So useless.
A Corrector emerged from the side of the tilting skyscraper, eyes fixed on Ezeonwha. Then he looked down. Somehow, Ezeonwha knew when the orders had been sent. He knew that it was Astipra in the distance, a jetpack on his shoulders burning a thick flame beneath him.
Astipra looked back at the building and flew toward it. Ezeonwha felt the wind rushing past the shield as pressure. Astipra, far above, vaporized falling chunks of the skyscraper with blasts from his arm cannons. He pressed back against the skyscraper, the jetpack going into overdrive. The metal bent inward, and the groaning and twisting structure continued its fall. Blasts of light from Astipra again vaporized the set of falling chunks.
"Penny," he said. It was almost a prayer, really. His desperate mind was scrambling for whatever it could get. "Please, save me!"
He didn't know if she could hear him. Logically, it was impossible. And in a battle such as this, unlikely as well. Rippling explosions erupted across the facade of the falling skyscraper as rockets struck it. More explosions bloomed as lasers from distant police vehicles, Guides, and Astipra destroyed more of the fast-flying missiles and rockets. They pounded on the world around him, a horde of madness threatening to break his brain. He could feel the wind and gravity equalize as he reached terminal velocity.
And all he could see was the world descending into war around him. The 102nd Visitor Welcome Office continued to slump and lean against Astipra's best efforts. More bullets hit Ezeonwha's personal shield, and peppered the Guides moving over to save him. Air ambulances were shot from the sky. Even small fighter crafts were shot down by powerful ground lasers. EMPs thumped, disabling all the higher functions of his implant before he could think to use it.
A much larger explosion bloomed out, and Ezeonwha followed the rocket's trail to an Elder on the ground, standing in the wreckage surrounding a sudden tunnel opening. The Elder stared at him in glee, and he lined up another shot. Two Guides fell upon the Elder, who flew up using a jetpack to cut them in half with his sword. A hard light hologram lifted a large gun, pointing at Ezeonwha as he fell.
His eyes widened. Ezeonwha did everything he could. He angled his legs and arms. He pushed at the air. He even hefted the meager psychic energy he had, struggling with all his soul to escape the death he could feel was coming to him.
Guides swarmed beyond the shield appearing, while gang soldiers died by the hundreds to carpet bombing. Personal shields sprang up to block the explosions, and the Elder had survived. A thick red laser cut one of the fighters in half from the smoke. Above him, the collapsing facade of the skyscraper consumed Astipra entirely, though large gouts of plasma and thick explosions emerged from within. He could survive if it fell upon him, but Ezonwha could not.
Penny materialized far below, closer to the field of battle. A sweeping wave of gang members began disappearing. A bullet smashed into her head and her stomach, detonating in bright explosions. A personal shield flared and disappeared. Missiles and lasers slammed into Penny by the thousands as psychic energy gathered. A constant roll of words fell from her tongue, but without his implant, they were not translated.
Missiles crumbled into dust. Lasers impacted raw space in front of Penny before bending down and back to their origins, destroying automated turrets. Bullets still hit Penny and the Guides by the thousands, firing too quickly and densely for her to entirely block. But the large ordnance from the gangs continued to work against them.
Penny looked around, confusion evident on her face. But amidst the thousands of wounded and dead Sprilnav falling from the broken windows, Ezeonwha was hidden too well.
Shattering glass could be constantly heard, and he could feel the distant screams in his soul. A bullet smashed into his personal shield again, disabling it. A pulse later, he lost feeling in his legs.
He tried to reach out to her mind, but the war in the mindscape was equally intense. Too many Elders and Guides battling it out along with various suppression artifacts made it all impossible. He could sense Penny's influence, but couldn't directly reach her.
He let out a breath, knowing it to be the final one.
I'm sorry, Penny, Ezeonwha thought.
I wish you luck in the Judgment, and I am sorry I caused this to happen to you.
Penny finally appeared in front of him, eyes wide-
Blood erupted. A searing pain in his head told him his implant had just shorted out. And in the mindscape, he saw a mental attack heading for him, its brutal power evident. He closed his eyes.

REVIEW- Alaska Airlines Boston to Portland in First class (5/24/2024)

By Scott H. Johnson

Last Friday, May 24th, I flew First Class from Boston to Portland nonstop on Alaska airlines. On the Portland to Boston flight 4 days before, despite being MVP Gold, I didn’t even get a Premium seat. I had gotten my hopes up, because I sat at #1 on the First-Class upgrade list the whole day before, until about 6 pm when I plummeted to #12. Oh, well. I didn’t get my hopes up the day before I came home, as I was #3.
I was surprised that evening when I checked and I had been upgraded to my favorite seat -2A. Sometimes the upgrade gods smile when you least expect it.
Check in at Logan the next morning was a breeze. Despite the Armageddon-style warnings that Friday, May 24 would be the most awful travel day in recorded history, when I got off the bus from the rental car center, there were no crazed throngs, just folks walking to check-in like any other day.
The CLEAR line had a few folks peering into their retinal readers, so I used plain old TSA PreCheck. There were maybe 8 fliers in front of me. I quickly went through without any issues and it was time for a quick coffee. I am a member of Alaska’s Lounge Plus, and I often use the Admiral’s Club access it gives me, but I didn’t have time to wander (I thought!) down to their Club at B4 as it was almost 6:00 am and my flight was out of B36 at 6:20 am. I found a good place to stand and waited to board. 6:20 came and went, then a few moments came the dreaded “checking something on the aircraft” announcement. Great.
Priority group finally boarded at 6:50. I slid into my comfortable, familiar seat. This 737-800 still had the classic cloth pattern on the bulkhead; the top row always reminds me of a 1980s computer lab with seats, tables and giant monitors for your 286!


.



On each seat was a lightweight blanket sealed in plastic. No box of water on this flight, though.


I


in 52 years of flying, I have never once been cold on a plane, so off to the side it went. Our flight attendant came by offering water in a cup, but nothing else before takeoff.
We lifted off at 7:17. We headed east over the harbor and the Atlantic, then made a wide left turn, came back over land, and headed northwest. As I enjoyed the clear weather and the rolling scenery, our FA came by and checked on my breakfast order and offered the first drink service. I enjoyed the new Stumptown Roasters blend, a local Portland roaster who recently replaced Starbucks as the coffee on Alaska. It’s good, but I have had Starbucks for 20 years on Alaska, so it will take some getting used to.
I enjoyed looking out the window and seeing ski resorts in Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, and upstate New York. I logged onto Alaska’s Wi-Fi to see our route. We were to leave New York and fly over Lake Ontario, north of Toronto, then over Kingston, Ontario, across Ontario, Lake Huron and then re-enter US airspace in Michigan’s UP.
That’s why I always carry my passport, just in case…..No need today, happily.
Breakfast arrived and I enjoyed my frittata at 34,000 feet over Canada.

The entrée was warm, as were the sausage and potatoes. The fruit (orange segments, grapes, and cantaloupe) was cold. The blueberry muffin was warm and crumbly. I needed a fork for it. It was delicious, and the cold yogurt went well with the fruit. Another coffee and it was nap time.
I slept thru the next snack/beverage service, but I remember smelling decadent popcorn when my seatmate in 2C opened the “Lesser Evil” popcorn. When I woke up, our flight attendant (and I kick myself for not noticing/remembering his name, but I was exhausted on this trip) asked if I wanted a snack and/or a beverage. I asked about the popcorn he said he had one left. That and an ice water hit the spot. I noticed our flight attendant made many trips to folks behind me refilling drinks.
I listened to songs my ancient iPod, surfed Alaska’s excellent collection movies and TV shows and catnapped. Soon enough, the view outside was the Idaho mountains. I watched as we glided over Washington’s Tri Cities, then Hermiston, Oregon and began our descent over the Columbia River. Then the Captain announced that PDX was down to one runway, so they were slowing us down. Instead of flying due west, skirting the north slope of Mt. Hood as usual
and making a straight on approach to 28L, we took a left turn and leisurely flew over Clackamas County, eventually flying over Gresham from the south, then a left turn for our approach.
We were only 15 minutes late at the gate, so I had time to freshen up in the Alaska Lounge, have a coffee and some ham and cheese on a roll before the baggage arrived. The lounge in Portland is small but comfortable, with expanded seating out into the C terminal. My bag was in the first third or so, and it was time to drive home.

I am scheduled to make the same flight in June. I hope it is just as pleasurable. While not Emirates-level, Alaska First Class is relaxing and an enjoyable way to endure a coast-to-coast flight. Their service is top notch and always friendly and accommodating. I hope the upgrade gods smile again in June.

Scott H. Johnson travels several times a month and has over a million airmiles. His first flight was on a Piedmont Airlines 737 in 1971 from DCA to Richmond VA, and he’s been hooked ever since.