Kadillac Kirk had been a good friend of mine for several years. I had met him through friends from The Spring Stage; and he never had anything to do with The Imp, which is why he didn’t appear in the Married Mary saga. Mary would have totally thrown herself at him, and Kirk would have definitely “thrown it in her.” He loved the ladies and often remarked that there was no such thing as an unappealing woman, nor was there anything sweeter than finding the pearl of passion in an outwardly plain dame. Fortunately for Kirk, he never met Mary. This was probably fortunate for Mary as well, seeing as Kirk was a confirmed bachelor and his rakish nature might have broken her fat heart.
Kirk was an older guy. Not MOE old, though. He was in his early forties, but he easily passed for a carefree dude in his 30s... not that he lied about his age. I only mention this trait to juxtapose Kirk’s genuine youthful air with Moe’s unconvincing youthful farce. Kirk dressed normally, avoided stupid jargon, and never busted out gimmicks like tarot cards or spells. He just existed, behaved affably, and people liked him for it.
He drove a classic 1962 Cadillac El Dorado convertible with red leather interior, and he lived in a charmingly quaint (and ridiculously expensive) neighborhood. How he made his fortune remained a mystery, but he never bloviated about his wealth. He just threw spectacular parties and people showed up. And, to my knowledge, he never tried to lure women into bed with his money (although I’m sure he got his fair share of boom-boom thanks to his digs and his wheels, even if the gold-diggers denied their monetary agendas).
Kirk was legitimately handsome. He was a drummer, he had a full head of black hair, he was clean-shaven, he worked out, and he knew all the hidden gems in Wellsprings. So why hadn’t I tried... or even desired to date him? I don’t know. I just didn’t feel drawn to him like that. He felt like a cool uncle and he had, thus far, never done anything to change my perception. Plus, the age difference weirded me out a little. Kirk didn’t look forty; but knowing that he had so much more life experience than I did created a power imbalance that would have creeped me out if we’d been dating. As buddies, I just felt supremely cool riding in his Cadillac, smoking Fantasia cigarettes, and hitting the speakeasies and jazz clubs I would have never known about if it weren’t for Kirk’s connections.
And he had been a good person to talk to about my romantic woes. He never lecherously suggested that I should date him, and he gave the type of tempered advice that only comes with lived experience. But he often lightly mocked me for my crush on Dennis and he did a hilarious impression of Smegal popping too soon over his “precious.” So when Mary “got me back” by doing whatever she did with to Dennis, I called Kadillac Kirk and told him the drinks were on me if he’d be my designated driver for the night.
Why hadn’t I called Whisky??? Well, A) Kirk was way more fun to hang out with, at least from my past experiences up to that point. And B) I needed to bitch about a boy, something I couldn’t do in good conscience in front of a guy I was dating. So I put on the sexiest plunging halter dress I owned, applied heavy eye makeup and spikey accessories, braved a pair of stilettos, and sashayed out to Kirk’s convertible. I felt like a badass rock star. I probably looked like a try-hard hooker.
Kirk: Daaaaay-um! Somebody really did do a number on you, huh? I know you said you were upset, but the gents are gonna be writing thank you notes to that fat girl and that butt-fucking hobbit.
Me: I just need to feel pretty and numb. And I trust you to keep me from making a fool of myself.
Kirk squeezed my shoulder. “I’ve got you. You do whatever you need to do to get rid of these demons.”
He sparked up a J and offered me the first puff. I gladly accepted. He took one puff of his own, but said that the rest was mine since he didn’t want to drive stoned. See? He was responsible! Weed wasn’t legal in California yet, so I got a little bit baked before I stashed the sativa in the glove box and wrapped a scarf around my hair like a starlet from the Golden Age of Hollywood. Kirk sped out of the parking lot and said he was taking me to a downtown hotel that was hosting a party that night in their lush lobby.
Kadillac Kirk pulled up to the main entrance, paid the valet, and then opened my door. I was wobbly from the weed. And I had stupidly decided to wear heels. You can get high or you can wear high (heels). You can’t have both. Not if you’ve repeatedly injured both ankles (as I have). I had to take Kirk’s arm to keep from keeling over. “Can people tell I’m stoned?” I whispered. Kirk replied, “Nobody’s paying any attention to anyone else’s intoxication. I promise you that much.” I nodded, steadied myself, and strutted alongside my very cool friend, feeling a little more confident.
A live jazz orchestra was playing Cole Porter as we entered the lobby. Everything sparkled. The music was even more intoxicating than the spliff had been. “Just One of Those Things” brought tears to my eyes since the lyrics hit every raw nerve regarding the Dennis debacle. But I smiled. It might sound mental, but being distraught over a trash fire of a one-sided romance was exhilarating. Immature, for sure. But also exhilarating. You see, that kind of sadness doesn’t hurt. Not really. It stings. It leaves little bruises, but it’s very safe to wallow in because you haven’t actually lost anything. Melancholia over that which you never had is as sweet as it is bitter; and that type of twisted splendor is rivaled only by Stendhal.
“Here's hoping we meet now and then. It was great fun, but it was just one of those things.” I sang along with the band, and a fat tear rolled down past my melancholic smile and onto my chin. Kirk brushed it aside. “Too close to home?” I wiped away the remnants of the tear’s journey from eye to chin and smiled a more genuine smile. “The perfect distance from home. Shall we get drinks? Remember, I’m buying.”
Kirk: No, no. This is your time to heal. And I’m here as your pal, not your chauffeur. What would the lady like?”
I pretended to barf. Kirk knew I hated it when he got overly formal and overly attentive. So he did it just to mess with me. “Shot of vodka,” I replied.
Kirk: How many?
I thought briefly. “FIVE.”
Kirk: Five to one, baby. One in five...
Me: No one here gets out alive.
Kirk: Are you able to hold yourself upright, or should you come with?
I took a seat on an ornate, damask-upholstered chaise lounge. “I’ll be okay. And I was kidding about the five shots.”
I sat there lost in the music for a while. I thought very little about Dennis. Even less about Mary. And not at all about Whisky (whom I had shagged less than a week ago). My mind danced through the ornate lighting in the hotel lobby, and I suddenly felt the need to join the hoity-toity guests on the dancefloor!
Kirk returned with four shots of vodka. Two for him, two for me. That was quite reasonable of him. He knew damn well that I couldn’t handle five shots, but he also knew that I was in a... state. One that called for more than a single shot. I raised a both miniature glasses to “No more ninnyhammers or hairy-footed lovers.” Kirk did his hilarious Smegal impression, we double-toasted, and downed the shots. The band launched into “Let’s Misbehave,” and I kicked off my stilettos and made a beeline for the dance floor.
“There’s something wild about you child that’s so contagious. Let’s be outrageous! Let’s misbehave.” Kadillac Kirk swept me up, twirled me around, and dipped me as we both sang along with the lyrics. I wasn’t swooning for him, but I was enthralled by the moment. The music, the dancing, the combination of booze and bud... so I kissed him as he pulled me back to my feet. And he kissed back. In a way that Dennis never had. In a way that Whisky’s beard wouldn’t permit. I didn’t feel the visceral sensations that I’d felt when Dennis had kissed me, but it felt nice to feel desired. And then I noticed that other guests were watching us and applauding. Now, that was a dopamine rush if ever there was one!
I gently broke away from the embrace, high-fived Kirk and returned to the chaise lounge to put my stupid shoes back on. He followed me and smashed his face back onto mine. I pulled away and laughed. “It was a moment,” I told him. “I appreciate the dance, and that kiss was the perfect finale. But it’s not happening again.”
Kirk: Not to worry, Valerie. I know you. I knew all along that we were performing, and I was more than happy to be your scene partner.
Me: And dance partner! Those were some excellent moves! I didn’t know you had ballroom training.
Kirk: You name it, I’ve mastered it. Another drink for the lady?
I pretended to barf again. “Not yet. I’m not sad right now. Do you mind if I just sit here and enjoy the music?”
Kirk: Ah. My kisses do have healing properties...
I flipped my hand up at him. “Knock that shit off, bro. I wanted to hang out with you because I trust you not to get weird. Even if I get weird, I know you have the maturity to balance me out.”
Kirk: Are you calling me old???
Me: No. I’m calling you rational, responsible, and respectful.
Kirk: Well, now. If you can articulate an alliterative statement that fluently, then you clearly aren’t drunk enough!
I dismissed this comment as a joke. And he did indeed knock off the flirtation. We had a perfectly pleasant time chatting and dancing (no more kissing, though). And then I noticed a girl I knew from Into the Woods entering the lobby. She’d played Florinda and I’d played Little Red. I called her name and waved enthusiastically. She waved back. And then her date entered. It was D.E.N.N.I.S. I sank into the chaise. Kirk caught on immediately. “The hobbit???” he asked. I nodded silently. “You wanna make out again?” he enthused. I shook my head. I had to go say hello to Flo. And I had an idea...
I crossed the lobby, smiled, squealed, and hugged her.
Florinda: Lil’ Red! It’s been forever! So glad to see you!!! This is my friend, Denny.
From the corner of my eye. I could see Dennis shifting uncomfortably. I refused to look directly at him, neglected to acknowledge Flo's introduction and continued to converse only with her. "So glad to see you, too! What have you been up to since we left the woods?"
Dennis: C’mon, Val...
Florinda (appearing oblivious to the iciness between me and Dennis): Oh, I had some drama after the show closed. I'll have to tell you about it some other time... Have you seen Prince Big Bad (Scumbanger) lately?
I laughed. “Last time I saw him, he was hitting on some nasty fat chick at The Imp.”
Flo and I both scoffed at the pervy pest. Into the Woods was where I’d initially met Scumbanger. He played The Wolf/Cinderella’s Prince. Again... typecasting. There’s a whole essay in my brain about my first encounter with the pest, during which he quoted the song that he sang to me in the show, “Hello, Little Girl.” But it gets into some pretty uncomfortable territory because he made me feel... excited. Well, excited and scared. Nothing of note happened during Into the Woods, but our odd interactions did kind of set the stage for some extremely regrettable events during that Cats cast party.
I excused myself, saying that I needed to get back to my friend. And then I leaned in and said in a hushed voice to Flo, “Watch your ass with that one. If he’s the Denny I’m thinking of...” I gave her a look that only another female would be able to read. Her eyebrows shot up and she nodded. Dennis continued to shift as though he were trying to hold in a massive dump. “BABE! Uh...”
Flo apparently answered to that moniker as well. “What is it, Denny? Don’t worry. That was just telepathic girl talk. You apparently have a reputation...”
Dennis: Different Denny. I assure you I’m a pious gentleman.
Me: Ah. My mistake. Well, then. You guys have a good time! They’re playing Cole Porter, and the band is delovely. Great to see you, Flo!
I hugged Flo again, gave Dennis a curt nod, ignored the scent of mandarins and mountain air, and returned to Kirk.
I collapsed on the chaise lounge, exhausted from holding back the rage. I had no right to be mad at Florinda. I hadn’t seen her in three years, so how was she supposed to know that I’d had a thing with Dennis? Hell, I couldn’t even be mad at Dennis because the last time he and I had spoken in any meaningful way, I’d told him that I was no longer entertaining my crush on him. So why was I surprised to see him dating??? And why had he never taken ME out on a date like this??? And why wasn’t I smitten with Kadillac Kirk who HAD taken me out on a date like this, was an objectively excellent kisser, and a bona fide BALLER? What was wrong with me???
Kirk suggested going down the street to a quaint little bar and then sobering up at a diner closer to my apartment. I numbly nodded and followed him in silence for a few blocks. He assured me that I had “turned several heads” on the way to the new location, but I neither cared nor believed him. This wasn't the type of numbness I'd been aiming for. Now I needed to get schnockered. “Five shots of vodka, please.” Yes, I was serious.
Kadillac Kirk, my reliable designated driver, ordered only a beer and watched in something across between astonishment, concern, and delight as I slammed all five shots in rapid succession. I half expected to immediately retch all over the bar. But I felt fine. I half expected to immediately lose consciousness and wake up in the hospital. But I remained coherent. How I’d managed to take in that much hard liquor and suffer no direct consequences, I’ll never know.
I think I wanted to suffer. I wanted to either feel nothing at all or to feel a sickness bad enough to distract me from the scorching sting that pulsed through my being when I realized that I had lost the abstract notion I’d been addicted to this entire time. Hope. It wasn’t Dennis himself I couldn’t quit. It was that drug called hope. The hope that maybe, just maybe Dennis would give our romance a fair chance. The hope that maybe, just maybe he would make peace with himself, get his mind out of his crotch, and enjoy some agenda-free togetherness. The hope that maybe, just maybe he would stop bloviating about his admittedly impressive accomplishments for five fucking minutes and ask about my life. I had my own reasonably impressive accomplishments, even if they paled in comparison to his. A proper suitor would have enjoyed hearing about them.
But seeing him out with another woman, a woman who had no reason to parade her Dennis escapades before me as some means of revenge, a woman he was clearly courting of his own volition... My hope had died. It died before I’d had time to wean myself off it. Now I had to mourn the loss of hope, which is a very tricky brand of grief to navigate. Vodka wasn’t the answer, but it was what I had to work with. So it would have to do.
After enough time had passed without vomiting or collapsing, I asked Kirk to bring his car around to the bar so that I didn’t have to walk two and a half blocks drunk and in heels. He nodded and dramatically leaned in for a kiss. I recoiled. “DUDE! I told you. The moment has passed.”
Kirk: I beg your pardon. I misread your eyes. Thought I saw a green light...
Me: It’s fine. I just want to go home while I’m still feeling okay.
Kirk: Of course. Your chariot will be here soon.
He skipped off to fetch his Cadillac and I noticed that the lights in the bar were beginning to dance a bit. This should have been concerning. But then I realized that I was giggling. Wait... What? Oh shit. Sure, I was drunk from those shots. But what I was feeling in that moment wasn’t drunkery. It was stonery. Kirk probably misread my face because my pupils were dilated. Not from desire, but from drug use.
Some of you might be thinking that I was a bad friend for not introducing Lucy, an old dude connoisseur, to Kirk. Well... I did. Several years before the events of this story. He adored her. She, on the other hand, thought he was immature. And she wasn’t wrong. Lucy was astute when it came to sussing out a person’s true nature. Far more astute than I. Her initial assessment that Kirk was immature is about to be vindicated. Stretch those cringe muscles! It’s almost time for pie...
I somehow managed to get to his car. I honestly don’t recall how I got there. Did one of the bartenders carry me? Did some kind patron allow me to lean on him? Had Kadillac Kirk carried me out? I’m not sure. But my memory ceases to be fuzzy about halfway to the 24-hour diner. It might have been the very same 24-hour diner where Mary pulled her... shenanigans. I’ll never know.
Kirk: Would you say that you’re more drunk or more stoned?
Me: STONED. Definitely stoned.
Kirk made some sort of grunty noise and reached for my thigh. I slapped his hand.
Kirk: Stoned but not amorous? That’s rare.
I started laughing rather unkindly. “You’re a fucking horndog! I thought you were my safe straight male friend, dammit.”
Kirk: I solemnly swear that your safety is my primary concern, my stoned beauty.
I pretended to throw up.
Kirk: So... You’re not horny. But are you hungry? The diner I’m heading to makes this Maple Walnut Pie with the most sumptuous... sensual cream and exquisite drizzling of...
Me: Ew! Stop trying to bang the pie. Bro. Are YOU stoned? (Then I remembered the question.) Yes, I’m hungry. But I don’t like nuts. I’ll have banana cream.
Kirk made that repulsive grunty noise again. “Uhhhhh... Mmmmmm. Cream. Yessssss. Yes, we’ll be there in just a minute.” He was squirming in the driver's seat.
Me: GROSS, DUDE! If you’re gonna be like that I’ll just order HASH brows. Get it? Hash??? (I giggled.) You can’t make that sound nasty.
Kirk: Forgive my jokes. I think my blood sugar’s a bit low.
As Kirk parked, I began to wonder how I might get away with walking shoeless into the diner. The stilettos had to get off my feet. At least while I was walking. And Kirk was kind enough to give me his socks and wear his loafers “island style” into the establishment. Okay, that was gallant of him. Maybe he was going to behave himself for the rest of the evening.
I wasn’t terribly talkative as we sat down, and he expressed a bit of concern for my emotional well-being. I wasn’t coherent enough to explain what was happening to my emotions and I wasn’t sure I trusted him with my deep, dark secrets at that point. So I shrugged like a sulky teenager, ran my hands over my messy, windblown hair, and mumbled that I was “just hungry.” And right on cue, a very kind, slightly older waitress with a sweet southern accent stopped by to take our order.
Kirk: Ah, yes. We’ll have two cups of black coffee. And we’ll share a slice of that delectable Maple Walnut Pie.
Waitress: Oh, honey. That pie is scrumptious! I take it you’ve been here before?
Kirk: I have. This will be her first time to taste the splendor.
I hated to be a killjoy, but I interrupted and said to the waitress, “Ma’am? I’m sure the Maple Walnut is excellent, but could I please get a slice of Banana Cream? And a big glass of ice water?
Waitress: Sure, hon! Banana Cream’s just as yummy! I’ll be right back with those coffees and that big water.
Kirk was sucking on the tip of his forefinger and shaking his head a bit. “You’re passing up so many sensational... sensual...”
I put my forehead on the table and growled. “You swore you’d stop being nasty!” I held this #headdesk pose for quite some time before I finally lifted my head... only to see that Kirk was still sucking his fingertip and staring at me like a wild animal. “Pleeeeeease be normal,” I whined. “It’s been a really weird night for me.”
Kirk: Indeed. Many surprises. You know... You’re like titanium. Your flame burns so fast and so bright, if a guy doesn’t get in there while the iron is hot, he’ll never get another chance. I was too slow.
What the...? I was pretty sure he was wrong about titanium burning quickly. I’m no chemistry wiz, but my dad and my oldest brother are both big-brains when it comes to physics and chemistry. So I picked up some things just listening to them talk. Accurate or inaccurate, Kirk was being creepy again. He’d never been creepy towards me before, although I’d seen him act like this with other women. Usually with staggering success. Why????? His money. It had to be his money. Kirk was a nice-looking man, but holy shit... No amount of good looks could save this creep show
And then, our sweet waitress sat down our coffees, my water, and the two slices of pie. After I gulped down a whole bunch of water, I grabbed a fork, prepared to quell my munchies... and then I froze. Kirk was quickly flicking his finger back and forth across the top of his pie. And moaning. He noticed my wide-eyed stare, smirked, sucked the tip of his thumb, picked up the plate with both hands, and began flicking his tongue across the tip of the triangular pie slice. And moaning some more. Well, there went my appetite.
Kirk took his middle finger and jabbed it into the crustless vertex of the pie slice, then he began pumping it in and out like a piston, and flicking his thumb across the increasingly demolished top layer of whipped cream. He gasped this time. People were starting to stare. His pointer finger joined his middle finger in the piston action, and he replaced his thumb with his tongue. Between flicks of the tongue, he groaned, “Oh yeah, baby... Let me taste you,” but it was kind of hard to understand him.
And I was either about to run to the back office, tell them that I was in danger and needed a police escort home... OR I was about to burst out laughing at the spectacle. Kirk continued... He removed his fingers and gregariously licked pie filling off of them. "Ohhhhh," he groaned, "I got you soooo sticky. So sweet. So moist." And then he started sucking his fingertips again, switching from middle to pointer, middle to pointer and emitting a delighted little, “Mmmmmm” with every suck.
Finally, he jabbed his fingers back into the utterly destroyed pie, lowered his face into the mess and lapped loudly and passionately, moaning, grunting, and mumbling “Come on, baby. Come on. Mmmmmm. Come on.” I could see the waitress and some dude in a suit heading over to the table, so I sank down in my seat, partially covered my face, but continued to watch the train wreck. At last, Kirk shuddered violently as he splatted his entire hand onto the plate and rubbed furiously. And then he locked eyes with me. He sucked the tip of his thumb one final time and said, “You...” There was a long pause during which Kirk lovingly stroked the mess he’d made. “You... are the pie.”
I don’t hang out with Kadillac Kirk anymore. But he’s still a bachelor, ladies!

Hello friends!
As the title states, for those of us arriving to the farm on Tuesday we have exactly 25 days to bring it all together. What better way to celebrate 25 days away from being back home than with 25 tips for a great Roo. 2 years ago I did a daily series with 100 tips. Last year I did a daily series with 50 tips. This year it's cut and dry, one take, one day, top 25 tips from a Roo and festival vet. Let's do it.

1. Water- Drink it. A lot of it. All of it. Let it run down your chin you little water slut. Staying hydrated is the #1 way to have a great Roo and consequently the easiest way to end up in the med tent if you don't. There's water stations in the campgrounds and in Centeroo, use em. It's hot. Bring a hydropack, water bottle, or whatever kind of water container you prefer.
2. Beat the Heat- Or at least try. Bring a canopy for camp and some tapestries to hang around. Battery powered fans. Misting fans. Cooling towels. Clacking hand fans. An umbrella. An umbrella hat. Hang out under the trees, tents, signs, or any other thing that will provide some relief from the heat. Bring and USE sunscreen. It truly can't be expressed enough how hot Roo can be and trust me when I say getting a sunburn on Thursday or Friday can make Saturday and Sunday rough.

*PRO TIP- Bring a bucket or collapsible bin of some kind to put some cold cooler water in it for a foot bath. Your feet and your entire being will thank you.

1. Meet Your Neighbors- One of the things that makes Bonnaroo great is the sense of community that comes along with it. Whether it's passing each other on the way in and out of camp, the lazy morning hangs, catching some shows, the pregame beers, keeping an eye out for each other's camp, or sharing that one thing you forgot to bring; Befriending your neighbors can and will take your Roo experience to the next level.
   
2. Lights- All of the lights. Like Kanye said; flashlights, battery powered string lights, solar lights, lanterns, LEDs, nightlights, or something like that. We're camping in the middle of bumfuck nowhere middle Tennessee. Yes, they do provide some lighting in the campground but it's still dark. Keep a small flashlight in your bag, you'll need it.
   
3. Comfy Shoes- Comfy BROKEN IN shoes. Whatever is your comfiest footwear, use that. Imo at least, Bonnaroo is much less of a fashion show and is much more about being comfortable in the elements while adding in the 30-40-50 miles of walking, dancing, skipping, and frolicking you will do. Getting some insoles will also help your feet make it through.
   
4. Begin Physically Preparing Thyself- If you haven't already. Nobody needs to be in peak physical condition by any means, but doing some cardio, walking, a bike ride, etc. and getting out in the heat beforehand will go a long way when it comes to the marathon gauntlet that is Bonnaroo. Get a little uncomfortable before we get really uncomfortable in a few weeks.
   
5. First Aid kit, Butt wipes, Chafe cream, Baby Powder- A few of the most important personal things that will do wonders for that swamp ass and Roo Rash. Skip TP all together and just bring butt wipes, your butt and chafed thighs will thank you. They will also thank you when you apply that chafe cream and your legs are slip slidin' and glidin' all night long.
   
6. Make Campsite Noticeable- Lights, balloons, pinwheels, signs, wackly inflatable tube men, a blimp. Do something to make your campsite stand out a little bit when things get a bit weird and can't find your way back home.
   
7. Catch a Sunrise- Specifically a Pretty Lights one Saturday night into Sunday morning, but any sunrise is meaningful on the farm. One of the things that make Bonnaroo unique from other festivals is the fact that music of some kind is going until sunrise. This is no easy task, even for professionals, but the payoff at the end is worth every second of tiredness to get you there.
   

10.High Five Everyone- This one's big. High Fives have been a staple at Bonnaroo since 1842 when Colonel Mustard high fived Trey Anastacio's great great Uncle and the rest was history. High five everyone. Everyday. Anywhere. Anytime. There may or may not be a winding high five line in front of the arch this year, but that's no excuse to not throw a hand up and watch the magic happen. Not getting enough fives? It means you aren't giving enough. Dish em out like pizzas and hot cakes.

1. Prepare for All Types of Weather- Hot, cold, windy, rainy, snowy. Plan for it all regardless of what the forecast says. Tennessee is like Florida where the forecast has changed 14 times since I started writing this. Bring your swim trunks but also a hoodie and beanie. Bring a couple blankets for the chilly nights. Bring a poncho if you're going to melt. Don't forget to stake down the tents and canopies. Prepare for it all.
   
2. Check out the Plazas- Plazas, which used to be "pods", are themed areas throughout the campgrounds that offer entertainment and programming of all different kinds. Each plaza contains bathrooms, showers, medics, wifi, staff, charging stations, and information that can be beneficial.
   
3. Bring Something To Sleep On- Air mattress, cot, inflatable couch, in the car; whatever it is make sure it's something somewhat comfortable to catch some precious Z's on. We only get a few hours of sleep while on the farm, make sure it's the most comfortable you can possibly get for maximum efficiency.
   
4. Patience is a Virtue- Whether it's in the car line, beer line, bathroom line, or any place that requires waiting; just be patient. Go with the flow. People are working their hardest to get you through whatever line it is, just enjoy the ride. Getting upset, frustrated, etc. doesn't do anybody any good when we're all trying to get to the same place. Just have some patience and trust me it will go a long way. Don’t forget to save some patience for your crew when setting up camp and things get testy.
   
5. Bring Things to Trade & Give Away- This concept is not unique to Bonnaroo but some festivals in general; bring things to give away. Think small, inexpensive, yet meaningful in the right situations. Squishy animals, pogs, green army men, pokemon cards, hat clips, clothespins, marbles; the possibilities here are pretty endless. Having things to give away will just up your Roo experience that much more.
   
6. Keep Valuables locked in the Car- Even though Bonnaroo is by in large a safe place, any public event that draws 60K+ people also brings the bad apples. Anything over 20$ we lock in the car and out of sight and hide our keys at camp. Also please do not bring ANYTHING of substantial value in which you will be upset if it goes missing, broken, or lost. Don't bring grandmother's precious jewels with you. If it has value, lock it in your car.
   
7. Bring Cash- Yes Bonnaroo like most events is moving toward a cashless event, however having cash on you will alleviate some of the issues that go along with so called cashless. There will be things wandering through camp which only require cash, some vendors take cash, and having that peace of mind will frankly go a long way when a card simply won't do.
   
8. Pace Yourself- Bonnaroo is a marathon, not a sprint. Although I whole heartedly endorse full send Thursday, pacing yourself throughout the weekend will leave you some energy left for Fred Again Sunday night. Stay hydrated, take naps, and don't feel bad when you have to take a load off to catch your breath.
   
9. Live In the Moment- Be. Here. Now. Take it all in. Stay off your phone. Embrace the journey. Embrace the moment. Live it. Be it. Accept it. Enjoy it. Don't over plan and don't force it. Let it be. Bonnaroo only comes around once a year and it's in our best interest to make every second count. Keep your head up, eyes open, and enjoy every moment the farm gives us.
   
10. Foster the Bonnarovian Code.
    

a. Prepare Thyself
b. Play as a Team
c. Radiate Positivity
d. Respect the Farm
e. Don't be that Person
f. Stay True Roo
Embrace these basic yet powerful principles and you are on the right track to having a wonderful Bonnaroo experience. Not only do these principles apply to the farm, but they also translate well to our everyday lives.

1. Cooler Maintenance- Tried and true ways to keep your coolers cold as long as possible without spending a fortune on ice. FROZEN WATER BOTTLES. Probably the most beneficial festival hack there is. Layer the bottom of your coolers with frozen bottles and shove ice packs in there as well. Dry ice when used correctly will keep coolers cold for days. Keep coolers out of the sun and closed as much as possible during the day. Before packing coolers, bring them inside and throw some ice in them to cool them down. May the cold be with you, always.
   
2. Wear Whatever the Fuck you Want- Sorry for cussing. But seriously. Wear whatever feels right. Wear a costume. Wear something wild. Wear something basic af. Wear a wig. Wear nothing. Wear that dumbass thing in the back of your closet that hasn't seen the light of day since 2004, let it out. Whatever you wear just make sure it's comfortable. And if you wear something that isn't comfortable, just know we appreciate you and the sacrifices you're making for the greater good.
   
3. Get Merch Early- The good stuff goes quick. The popular sizes go quick. Don't sleep on it. If there's something you see you want just get it and be done with it so there are no regrets later, not even one letter.
   
4. Camp Chairs, inflatable couches, Stools, Pussy Couches, Blankets- Basically just bring things to sit or relax on. Camp chairs, couches, inflatable unicorns, and stools for camp and a blanket for inside Centeroo. Blow up couches aren't technically allowed in the venue but neither are substances and glowsticks and there are certainly neither of those at Bonnaroo.
   
5. Battery stations, Power Banks, Solar Chargers- Bring whatever you need to keep your electronics charged without having to use the courtesy outlets. Bring a jackery or similar power station. Charging things in the car is a move as well as a DC inverter which plugs into your car cigarette lighter. We only get a short amount of time on the farm, don't spend it teathered to an outlet. Bring the power.
   

Honorable Mention Tips

1. Check Camping supplies ahead of time.
2. Don't forget your ID, wristband, and parking pass. (This one is pretty important and should probably be higher up)
3. Bring a backpack or Fanny pack that fits in the allowed guidelines.

That's all I got for the time being. Anything I missed please feel free to add below. For all the first timers joining us this year I would just like to say welcome to the farm. Embrace and enjoy every second you are there. To all the vets coming back, can't wait to see you fuckers again real soon. We're almost there. Happy Bonnaroo Yall!

Over the course of the past few months I have been working on compiling a list of my 500 favorite songs. It was sort of challenge that I gave myself and I'm super pumped with how it turned out. There were a few rules (only 5 songs per artist being the big rule, among a few others), and here's the list I came up with. Thought it was fun, so wanted to share here and see if it might spark any discussion about song placement, lack of songs/artists, or see if anyone had any similar lists. All thoughts are welcome! (and if you don't care to comb through all 500 songs for your favorite song or artist I'm more than happy to help you track 'em down)

1. Trash Panda - Aging out of the 20th Century
   
2. Djo - Roddy
   
3. The Beatles - Don't Let Me Down
   
4. Snail Mail - Heat Wave
   
5. Phoebe Bridgers - Savior Complex
   
6. Joji - SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK
   
7. The Shins - The Fear
   
8. Talking Heads - This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)
   
9. The Cranberries - Linger
   
10. Post Animal - Ralphie
    
11. Hop Along - Not Abel
    
12. The Beach Boys - Heroes And Villains
    
13. Electric Light Orchestra - Livin' Thing
    
14. The Monkees - As We Go Along
    
15. Blondie - Heart Of Glass
    
16. The Strokes - Oblivius
    
17. Chet Baker - It's Always You
    
18. The Beatles - Rain
    
19. Electric Light Orchestra - Telephone Line
    
20. Husbands - Must Be a Cop
    
21. Faces - Ooh La La
    
22. The Flaming Lips - Do You Realize??
    
23. Frank Ocean - Nights
    
24. Harry James - It's Been a Long, Long Time
    
25. The Turtles - Happy Together
    
26. Etta James - At Last
    
27. The Zombies - The Way I Feel Inside
    
28. The Beatles - Here, There And Everywhere
    
29. The Beach Boys - God Only Knows
    
30. Kanye West - Father Stretch My Hands Pt. 1
    
31. Briston Maroney - Sinkin'
    
32. John Lennon - Oh My Love
    
33. Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass - Ladyfingers
    
34. Squirrel Flower - Headlights
    
35. The Backseat Lovers - Maple Syrup
    
36. The B-52's - Rock Lobster
    
37. George Harrison - All Things Must Pass
    
38. Snail Mail - Ben Franklin
    
39. Laura Elliott - Grass Stains
    
40. Djo - Chateau (Feel Alright)
    
41. Tame Impala - Eventually
    
42. The Backseat Lovers - Snowbank Blues
    
43. Claude Debussy - Clair de Lune
    
44. The Weeknd - Save Your Tears
    
45. Talking Heads - Thank You for Sending Me an Angel
    
46. The Zombies - Time of the Season
    
47. The War On Drugs - Nothing to Find
    
48. Queen - Brighton Rock
    
49. The Dream Academy - Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want
    
50. The B-52's - Strobe Light
    
51. The Cranberries - Dreams
    
52. Fugees - Killing Me Softly With His Song
    
53. Molchat Doma - Тоска
    
54. Tyler, The Creator - ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?
    
55. The Mamas & The Papas - Dream A Little Dream Of Me
    
56. The Chords - Sh-Boom
    
57. The Beatles - The Abbey Road Medley
    
58. The Ronettes - Be My Baby
    
59. The Who - Baba O'Riley
    
60. Dr. Dog - Where'd All the Time Go?
    
61. M83 - My Tears Are Becoming A Sea
    
62. Billie Eilish - everything i wanted
    
63. Outkast - Hey Ya!
    
64. Nat King Cole - Orange Colored Sky
    
65. The Notorious B.I.G. - Hypnotize
    
66. Four Tops - Reach Out I'll Be There
    
67. Foreign Air - Shut Up and Show Me
    
68. Leonard Cohen - So Long, Marianne
    
69. dodie - If I'm Being Honest
    
70. Briston Maroney - June
    
71. Post Malone - Sunflower
    
72. John Lennon - Isolation
    
73. Buddy Holly & The Crickets - Not Fade Away
    
74. Phoebe Bridgers - I Know The End
    
75. Kanye West - All Falls Down
    
76. Alvvays - Adult Diversion
    
77. John Lennon - Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)
    
78. Clairo - Amoeba
    
79. The Beach Boys - I Know There's An Answer
    
80. Paul McCartney - Let Me Roll It
    
81. Frank Ocean - Ivy
    
82. Radiohead - Motion Picture Soundtrack
    
83. Djo - Mutual Future (Repeat)
    
84. Phoebe Bridgers - Scott Street
    
85. Childish Gambino - Me and Your Mama
    
86. Pink Floyd - Astronomy Domine
    
87. The Pied Pipers - Dream
    
88. The Beach Boys - All I Wanna Do
    
89. Djo - Change
    
90. Второй этаж поражает - Крайности
    
91. Little Richard - Lucille
    
92. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Shanghai
    
93. Chet Baker - Deep In A Dream
    
94. The Beatles - It's All Too Much
    
95. Post Animal - Dirtpicker
    
96. The B-52's - Love Shack
    
97. EDEN - foreve/over
    
98. Kanye West - Ultralight Beam
    
99. The Zombies - Going Out Of My Head
    
100. Talking Heads - Found a Job
     
101. Snail Mail - Pristine
     
102. Tom Tom Club - Genius of Love
     
103. Tears For Fears - Everybody Wants To Rule The World
     
104. WILLIS - I Think I Like When It Rains
     
105. Chet Baker - But Not For Me
     
106. Naked Eyes - Always Something There to Remind Me
     
107. Tyler, The Creator - GONE, GONE / THANK YOU
     
108. Djo - Half Life
     
109. Trash Panda - Check Please
     
110. Briston Maroney - Deep Sea Diver
     
111. Beach Fossils - This Year
     
112. Momma - Medicine
     
113. Hop Along - Prior Things
     
114. Talking Heads - Road to Nowhere
     
115. Electric Light Orchestra - Turn to Stone
     
116. Briston Maroney - It's Not My Fault
     
117. Tyler, The Creator - NEW MAGIC WAND
     
118. Snail Mail - Headlock
     
119. Phil Collins - Take Me Home
     
120. Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know
     
121. The Beach Boys - Do It Again
     
122. Tame Impala - Breathe Deeper
     
123. Ella Fitzgerald - Misty
     
124. Phoebe Bridgers - Waiting Room
     
125. Kanye West - Runaway
     
126. Daft Punk - Get Lucky (feat. Pharrell Williams and Nile Rodgers)
     
127. Dire Straits - Money for Nothing
     
128. Kendrick Lamar - Alright
     
129. Black Country, New Road - Concorde
     
130. George Harrison - If Not for You
     
131. Harry Styles - Cherry
     
132. Ms. Lauryn Hill - Doo Wop (That Thing)
     
133. Paul McCartney - Junk
     
134. Wings - Maybe I'm Amazed [Live]
     
135. Talking Heads - Houses in Motion
     
136. Del Water Gap - Ode to a Conversation Stuck in Your Throat
     
137. Pixies - Where Is My Mind?
     
138. Queen - Seven Seas Of Rhye
     
139. Paul McCartney - Jet
     
140. Sufjan Stevens - Death with Dignity
     
141. A Flock Of Seagulls - I Ran (So Far Away)
     
142. Tame Impala - Let It Happen
     
143. Led Zeppelin - Whole Lotta Love
     
144. Clairo - Management
     
145. Tommy James & The Shondells - I Think We're Alone Now
     
146. Fergie - Clumsy
     
147. Childish Gambino - This Is America
     
148. Prefab Sprout - The King of Rock 'N' Roll
     
149. Joy Again - Looking Out for You
     
150. Beach House - Space Song
     
151. John Lennon - Mind Games
     
152. The Weeknd - Gasoline
     
153. Weezer - Buddy Holly
     
154. Phoebe Bridgers - Sidelines
     
155. Tame Impala - New Person, Same Old Mistakes
     
156. Lana Del Rey - A&W
     
157. The Dillards - I've Just Seen a Face
     
158. The Doors - Break on Through (To the Other Side)
     
159. Julie London - I'm Glad There Is You
     
160. 2Pac - California Love
     
161. Dean Martin - Everybody Loves Somebody
     
162. Snail Mail - Anytime
     
163. The Strokes - The Adults Are Talking
     
164. Jordana, TV Girl - Better in the Dark
     
165. Juice WRLD - Hide (feat. Seezyn)
     
166. The Wild Reeds - Get Better
     
167. Finom - Mine
     
168. Hop Along - One That Suits Me
     
169. The Killers - Mr. Brightside
     
170. Michael Cera - Clay Pigeons
     
171. Clairo - Bags
     
172. Prince - Let's Go Crazy
     
173. The Zombies - She's Not There
     
174. Blackstreet - No Diggity
     
175. Frank Sinatra - I've Got You Under My Skin
     
176. John Denver - Take Me Home, Country Roads
     
177. Harry James - I'm Beginning to See The Light
     
178. The Clash - London Calling
     
179. Charles Bradley - Changes
     
180. Buddy Holly - (Ummmm, Oh Yeah) Dearest
     
181. Eagles - Seven Bridges Road [Live]
     
182. Moxie - Honey
     
183. Faces - Stay with Me
     
184. Post Animal - How Do You Feel
     
185. New Order - Age of Consent
     
186. Natalie Imbruglia - Torn
     
187. Lana Del Rey - Doin' Time
     
188. Twin Peaks - Blue Coupe
     
189. Kanye West - Gold Digger
     
190. Fruit Bats - The Bottom of It
     
191. Frank Sinatra - Somethin' Stupid
     
192. Lorde - Perfect Places
     
193. Martha Tilton - Exactly Like You
     
194. King Crimson - 21st Century Schizoid Man
     
195. Glen Campbell - Southern Nights
     
196. Claire Rosinkranz - Frankenstein
     
197. Guillemots - Made-Up Lovesong #43
     
198. Fleetwood Mac - Say You Love Me
     
199. Frankie Valli - Can't Take My Eyes off You
     
200. The Crickets - Don't Ever Change
     
201. Paul Anka - Put Your Head On My Shoulder
     
202. George Harrison - Isn't It a Pity
     
203. Trash Panda - Off
     
204. Super Besse - Holod
     
205. Beyoncé - Hold Up
     
206. Charlie Burg - I Don't Wanna Be Okay Without You
     
207. Eagles - Peaceful Easy Feeling
     
208. Ella Fitzgerald - It's A Lovely Day Today
     
209. PERMSKY KRAY - Дорогой Человек
     
210. The Little Dippers - Forever
     
211. The B-52's - There's a Moon in the Sky (Called the Moon)
     
212. Patti Page - Old Cape Cod
     
213. Daft Punk - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
     
214. The Soggy Bottom Boys - I Am A Man Of Constant Sorrow
     
215. Trash Panda - Things Will Never Change
     
216. Hop Along - Well-dressed
     
217. Sixpence None The Richer - Kiss Me
     
218. TV Girl - Daughter of a Cop
     
219. LAUNDRY DAY - Jane
     
220. Tyler, The Creator - EARFQUAKE
     
221. Sigue Sigue Sputnik - Love Missile F1-11
     
222. Joji - Gimme Love
     
223. The Backseat Lovers - Pool House
     
224. The Weeknd - Take My Breath
     
225. Mild High Club - Homage
     
226. Doc Watson - Am I Born to Die?
     
227. Daniel Caesar - Streetcar
     
228. The Kinks - Sunny Afternoon
     
229. John Lennon - #9 Dream
     
230. Tame Impala - Elephant
     
231. Chuck Berry - You Never Can Tell
     
232. Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here
     
233. KIDS SEE GHOSTS - 4th Dimension
     
234. Soft Cell - Tainted Love
     
235. The B-52's - Song for a Future Generation
     
236. Gnarls Barkley - Crazy
     
237. Lana Del Rey - Blue Jeans
     
238. Billie Eilish - Halley's Comet
     
239. Glenn Miller - In the Mood
     
240. Kid Bloom - Control
     
241. The Cinematic Orchestra - To Build A Home
     
242. Marvin Gaye - I Heard It Through The Grapevine
     
243. Brenda Lee - If You Love Me (Really Love Me)
     
244. TV Girl - Lovers Rock
     
245. Art Lown - Knew You Well
     
246. Dean Martin - Ain't That A Kick In The Head
     
247. Miniature Tigers - Like or Like Like
     
248. Electric Light Orchestra - Sweet Talkin' Woman
     
249. The Hunts - Ages
     
250. The Cars - Good Times Roll
     
251. Bill Withers - Lovely Day
     
252. Drake - God's Plan
     
253. Kansas - Point of Know Return
     
254. The Neighbourhood - Stargazing
     
255. The Clash - Rock the Casbah
     
256. Hop Along - What the Writer Meant
     
257. Briston Maroney - Under My Skin
     
258. Jack Stauber - Buttercup
     
259. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Ya Love
     
260. Ginger Root - Loretta
     
261. Thompson Twins - Hold Me Now
     
262. Frank Ocean - Pyramids
     
263. Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)
     
264. Destroy Boys - I Threw Glass at My Friend's Eyes and Now I'm on Probation
     
265. Mild High Club - Dionysian State
     
266. Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
     
267. Kevin Abstract - Empty
     
268. The Frights - Crust Bucket
     
269. Stealers Wheel - Stuck In The Middle With You
     
270. The Shins - Fighting in a Sack
     
271. fun. - We Are Young (feat. Janelle Monáe)
     
272. Lil Uzi Vert - Money Longer
     
273. Miniature Tigers - Cannibal Queen
     
274. The Doors - Touch Me
     
275. Jean Dawson - Clear Bones
     
276. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Catching Smoke
     
277. Molchat Doma - Люди Надоели
     
278. The Go-Go's - Our Lips Are Sealed
     
279. Billie Eilish - ocean eyes
     
280. BOYO - Crown
     
281. The 1975 - Somebody Else
     
282. Husbands - She's a Betty
     
283. Syd Barrett - If It's In You
     
284. Trash Panda - Atlanta Girls
     
285. Frank Ocean - Godspeed
     
286. Alice Phoebe Lou - Glow
     
287. Childish Gambino - Redbone
     
288. New Order - Blue Monday
     
289. Post Animal - Schedule
     
290. Harry Styles - Fine Line
     
291. Harry James - I'll Get By (As Long As I Have You)
     
292. Depeche Mode - Never Let Me Down Again
     
293. Chet Baker - I Fall In Love Too Easily
     
294. The Cranberries - Put Me Down
     
295. John Mayer - Edge of Desire
     
296. George Harrison - All Those Years Ago
     
297. Electric Light Orchestra - The Diary of Horace Wimp
     
298. Alex Clare - Too Close
     
299. Eric B. & Rakim - Know The Ledge
     
300. Peter Frampton - Show Me The Way [Live]
     
301. Simon & Garfunkel - Mrs. Robinson
     
302. Black Eyes - Deformative
     
303. The Righteous Brothers - Unchained Melody
     
304. Bonny Light Horseman - Deep In Love
     
305. The Walker Brothers - The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine Anymore
     
306. Cage The Elephant - Cigarette Daydreams
     
307. Hot Flash Heat Wave - Raindrop
     
308. Clairo - Sofia
     
309. Kendrick Lamar - PRIDE.
     
310. Camille Saint-Saëns - The Swan
     
311. Weezer - Say It Ain't So
     
312. C418 - Sweden
     
313. Lana Del Rey - Let The Light In (feat. Father John Misty)
     
314. The Postal Service - Such Great Heights
     
315. Pickin' On Series - Those to Come
     
316. Lana Del Rey - Grandfather please stand on the shoulders of my father while he's deep-sea fishing (feat. RIOPY)
     
317. John Mayer - Moving On and Getting Over
     
318. Field Medic - POWERFUL LOVE
     
319. Cage The Elephant - Flow
     
320. Joji - Run
     
321. The Who - Won't Get Fooled Again
     
322. Boston - Peace of Mind
     
323. Ben E. King - This Magic Moment
     
324. David Bowie - Starman
     
325. Beastie Boys - Sabotage
     
326. Harry Belafonte - Banana Boat (Day-O)
     
327. Gene Krupa & His Orchestra - Rhumboogie
     
328. The Cardigans - Lovefool
     
329. The Kinks - You Really Got Me
     
330. The Zombies - She's Coming Home
     
331. Michael Jackson - Thriller
     
332. Moxie - Blue Skies
     
333. The Mamas & The Papas - Straight Shooter
     
334. Peter, Paul and Mary - Don't Think Twice, It's All Right
     
335. Green Day - Brain Stew
     
336. Dua Lipa - Levitating (feat. DaBaby)
     
337. The Police - Roxanne
     
338. Britney Spears - Toxic
     
339. Tears For Fears - Head Over Heels
     
340. Rex Orange County - Pluto Projector
     
341. The Strokes - Call It Fate, Call It Karma
     
342. Portugal. The Man - Feel It Still
     
343. The Black Crowes - Twice As Hard
     
344. Ted Nugent - Stranglehold
     
345. fun. - Some Nights
     
346. Wings - Silly Love Songs
     
347. Paramore - Still into You
     
348. Peter Frampton - Baby, I Love Your Way [Live]
     
349. The Monkees - Last Train to Clarksville
     
350. Royel Otis - Oysters In My Pocket
     
351. The Backseat Lovers - Growing/Dying
     
352. Nelly Furtado - Say It Right
     
353. Post Animal - Goggles
     
354. Erik Satie - Gymnopédie No. 1
     
355. Childish Gambino - IV. Sweatpants
     
356. Steely Dan - Dirty Work
     
357. ABBA - Lay All Your Love On Me
     
358. Still Woozy - Goodie Bag
     
359. Arlo Parks - Black Dog
     
360. Goth Babe - Weekend Friend
     
361. George & the Handsomes - Sleepy Beats
     
362. boygenius - 20
     
363. The Mills Brothers - You Always Hurt The One You Love
     
364. Travis Scott - SICKO MODE
     
365. Pinegrove - Need 2
     
366. The Backseat Lovers - Sinking Ship
     
367. Franz Schubert - Ave Maria
     
368. Zac Brown Band - Knee Deep (feat. Jimmy Buffett)
     
369. Justin Timberlake - Mirrors
     
370. Simon & Garfunkel - Cecilia
     
371. The Cranberries - Zombie
     
372. Daniel Caesar - Japanese Denim
     
373. Billie Holiday - Easy Living
     
374. ISLAND - By Your Side
     
375. Phil Collins - Tomorrow Never Knows
     
376. Bob Dylan - The Times They Are A-Changin'
     
377. The Four Freshmen - Day By Day
     
378. Fleetwood Mac - The Chain
     
379. Billy Joel - Big Shot
     
380. Billie Eilish - Happier Than Ever
     
381. Yot Club - down bad
     
382. Rihanna - Stay
     
383. Fleetwood Mac - Landslide
     
384. Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky - Swan Lake, Op. 20, Act 2: No. 10, Scene. Moderato
     
385. The White Stripes - Fell In Love With a Girl
     
386. Alvvays - Easy On Your Own?
     
387. Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit - If We Were Vampires
     
388. Blackway - What's Up Danger (with Black Caviar)
     
389. Albert Hammond - It Never Rains in Southern California
     
390. Matt Maltese - Jupiter
     
391. John Denver - Mother Nature's Son
     
392. Childish Gambino - Sober
     
393. Claire Rosinkranz - Pools and Palm Trees
     
394. The Cars - Just What I Needed
     
395. The Doors - Light My Fire
     
396. Blondie - Tomorrow Never Knows
     
397. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Hell's Itch
     
398. The Japanese House - Saw You In A Dream
     
399. Franz Schubert - String Quartet No. 13 in A Minor, Op. 29 No. 1, D. 804
     
400. The Drifters - White Christmas
     
401. The 1975 - Robbers
     
402. George Harrison - Between The Devil And The Deep Blue Sea
     
403. The Frights - Tongues
     
404. Paramore - Ain't It Fun
     
405. Billy Joel - Pressure
     
406. Frank Sinatra - My Way
     
407. Art Lown - Going Back to Carolina
     
408. Bruno Mars - Just the Way You Are
     
409. Under The Rug - Lonesome & Mad
     
410. The Mamas & The Papas - Dedicated To The One I Love
     
411. Foster The People - Sit Next to Me
     
412. Weezer - Undone - The Sweater Song
     
413. Michael Jackson - Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
     
414. Tia Blake - Plastic Jesus
     
415. Los Bravos - Bring a Little Lovin'
     
416. Lady Gaga - Bad Romance
     
417. Minnie Riperton - Les Fleurs
     
418. Billy Idol - Dancing with Myself
     
419. Cody Fry - I Hear a Symphony
     
420. Gringo Sapiens - Driver's Licence
     
421. Vacations - Relax
     
422. Glitter Party - time waits
     
423. Steve Lacy - Bad Habit
     
424. The Crystals - Then He Kissed Me
     
425. The Pied Pipers - Mairzy Doats
     
426. Mitski - Bug Like an Angel
     
427. James Ray - I've Got My Mind Set On You
     
428. Clairo - Bubble Gum
     
429. Masayoshi Takanaka - SEXY DANCE
     
430. Nat King Cole - (I Love You) For Sentimental Reasons
     
431. Sleigh Bells - Crown On the Ground
     
432. Olivia Rodrigo - favorite crime
     
433. No Doubt - Just A Girl
     
434. Foreigner - Long, Long Way from Home
     
435. Heart - Crazy On You
     
436. The Hunts - Darlin'
     
437. David Bowie - Heroes
     
438. Alice Phoebe Lou - Hammer
     
439. Thee Oh Sees - Toe Cutter - Thumb Buster
     
440. Roar - I Can't Handle Change
     
441. TV Girl - Birds Dont Sing
     
442. Laufey - From The Start
     
443. Chas McDevitt Skiffle Group - Freight Train (feat. Nancy Whiskey)
     
444. Metro Boomin - Am I Dreaming
     
445. Liana Flores - rises the moon
     
446. POP ETC - Speak Up
     
447. Jean Knight - Mr. Big Stuff
     
448. The Platters - Twilight Time
     
449. Derek & The Dominos - Layla
     
450. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Homeless Man in Adidas
     
451. Charlie Burg - Lovesong (The Way)
     
452. Hot Flash Heat Wave - Gutter Girl
     
453. ABBA - Fernando
     
454. Mitski - My Love Mine All Mine
     
455. Savannah Conley - More Than Fine
     
456. Young the Giant - Mind Over Matter
     
457. Future Crib - Yer Movin'
     
458. Bob Dylan - Like a Rolling Stone
     
459. benches - Violent
     
460. Musical Youth - Pass The Dutchie
     
461. Olivia Rodrigo - vampire
     
462. Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone - City Of Stars
     
463. Maya Hawke - Thérèse
     
464. Current Joys - A Different Age
     
465. Wayne Newton - Danke Schoen
     
466. La Roux - Bulletproof
     
467. Jason Segel, Walter - Man Or Muppet
     
468. U2 - I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
     
469. The Raconteurs - Steady, As She Goes
     
470. The Ink Spots - Into Each Life Some Rain Must Fall
     
471. Ace of Base - The Sign
     
472. Vulfpeck - 1612
     
473. Nordista Freeze - Hey GiGi
     
474. The Chainsmokers - New York City
     
475. Suki Waterhouse - Johanna
     
476. Pete Rodriguez - I Like It Like That
     
477. Calvin Harris - Summer
     
478. The Rare Occasions - Notion
     
479. a-ha - Take on Me
     
480. Rush - Working Man
     
481. Traffic - Dear Mr. Fantasy
     
482. Starbuck - Moonlight Feels Right
     
483. Van Halen - Drop Dead Legs
     
484. The Troggs - Wild Thing
     
485. Led Zeppelin - Good Times Bad Times
     
486. The Byrds - Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There Is a Season)
     
487. Cream - Sunshine Of Your Love
     
488. Justin Timberlake - SexyBack (feat. Timbaland)
     
489. David Bowie - Suffragette City
     
490. Ludwig van Beethoven - Sonata No. 14 in C-Sharp Minor, Op. 27, No. 2 "Moonlight"
     
491. Avicii - Wake Me Up
     
492. The Who - La-La-La-Lies
     
493. The Spinners - The Rubberband Man
     
494. MGMT - Time to Pretend
     
495. Hootie & The Blowfish - Only Wanna Be With You
     
496. Sheck Wes - Mo Bamba
     
497. Claire Rosinkranz - 123
     
498. Ringo Starr - Photograph
     
499. The Proclaimers - I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)
     
500. Duran Duran - Rio
     

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weather, web, website, wedding, week, weekend, weekly, weigh, weight, welcome, welfare, well, west, western, wet, what, whatever, wheel, when, whenever, where, whereas, whether, which, while, whisper, white, who, whole, whom, whose, why, wide, widely, widespread, wife, wild, wildlife, will, willing, win, wind, window, wine, wing, winner, winter, wipe, wire, wisdom, wise, wish, with, withdraw, within, without, witness, woman, wonder, wonderful, wood, wooden, word, work, worker, working, workout, workplace, works, workshop, world, worried, worry, worth, would, wound, wrap, write, writer, writing, wrong, yard, yeah, year, yell, yellow, yes, yesterday, yet, yield, you, young, your, yours, yourself, youth, zone.

QYResearch released the latest report Global E-cigarette Market Outlook: 2024-2030 that presents a grand panorama of a thriving e-cigarette market. In the coming years, the e-cigarette market is projected to continue its robust growth trajectory at a steady annual rate of 8.7%. By 2030, its size is expected to soar to a remarkable $44.87 billion, showcasing the thriving potential and boundless business opportunities in the e-cigarette industry. The research data reveals the competitive landscape of the global e-cigarette market in 2023. In 2023, those top ten e-cigarette manufacturers collectively hold a significant share of 43.0% in the global e-cigarette market. Among them, these renowned brands include British American Tobacco, ELFBAR, Altria (Juul Labs), SKE Crystal, Imperial Tobacco, RELX, Japan Tobacco, MOTI, Boulder, and Smoore International, etc. The following chart illustrates the specific percentage of each global leading market share:
In 2024, which e-cigarette brand will make it to the list, and which one will drop off?
SMOANT and ANTBAR, two best vape brands with a decade-long history in e-cigarette research, production, and sales, which have a great potential and change to catch attention and make the ranking!
In terms of the division of the global e-cigarette market based on QYResearch’s research data, the offline channels have become the main driver of demand, accounting for approximately 82.8% of the market share indicating the core position and significant influence of offline channels in e-cigarette sales.

I run a small hedge fund based out of Raleigh, NC. Myself and my Fund are long $HAYPP. Please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the post. For more blog posts like this check out my Fund's blog at https://www.rogue-funds.com/blog
Also if you would like to see this blog post with pretty pictures you can also check out: https://www.rogue-funds.com/blog/haypp-group
All Financial Figures are in USD unless otherwise specified.
I think HAYPP Group, the biggest online retailer of nicotine pouches, can capture a huge chunk of the sales in what I believe will be the biggest form of nicotine intake growth over the next 10-15 years.
The future of nicotine consumption will be nicotine pouches and it is growing at an unprecedented rate. Here in the States the go to item for nicotine pouches are Zyn’s (owned by Philip Morris), in Europe it’s Velo (owned by British American Tobacco), but there are various other brands that all catching fire: ON! (Altria), Rogue, Juice Head, FRE, Lucy, and Sesh, among various others.
What is HAYPP?
Brief History
HAYPP is an online retailer and distributor of nicotine pouches and snus. The company was started by a couple of Swedish teenagers in 2009 and through mergers and acquisitions they no longer are in charge of the company as the current CEO joined in 2017/2018. The company bought Nicokick.com and northerner.com (northerner owns 9% of stock) which are now both of their main American brands. They switched from Snus to Nicotine Pouches 6 years ago and haven’t looked back.
HAYPP currently owns a roughly 85% online market share for their Nordic part of the business, which they refer to as their “core” business as well as a ~55% market share of the oral nicotine market (85% market share of the legal nicotine pouch e-commerce market) for their growth market which is considered the US, UK, Germany, and Swiss countries.
SEO Powerhouse
So how do they have such a grasp on what would obviously be a hyper competitive online industry? The main reason for their hyper success in the online market is that they have a death grip on the SEO landscape. Their mastery of SEO allows them to spend almost nothing on marketing and to keep pushing out their distribution system (which continues to drive costs down for them and consumers). This creates a positive feedback loop as they become even cheaper than their competitors, allowing them to lock in customers (over 90% of the customers becoming recurring customers).
If you google just about anything related to Nicotine pouches, there is probably a 95%+ chance that the top unpaid search result will be a HAYPP Group Domain. Even niche searches such as “what is an upper decky” (Gen. Z slang for nicotine pouches) or basic searches such as “what are the top nicotine pouches” you will see that HAYPP Group owns the top of the search.
This is huge when sites like Google severely limit the amount of advertising that addictive products can utilize on their search engine. HAYPP ends up barely spending anything on marketing due to 40% of new customers coming through word of mouth and the rest from SEO.
Data
Their other field of expertise is data collection and selling. Due to the large variety of pouches and being the number one online seller of nicotine pouches, they have created a major database which they sell to various nicotine pouch producers such as Philip Morris and Altria. Producers buy these on an annualized basis, and you can see the usage of their data among the investor relation reports/presentations/websites of various producers. As you can see from my beautiful pictures on this post, they compile plenty of data to help me understand the business better.
Lowest Cost Seller and Best E-Commerce Distribution
Due to their distribution network, HAYPP has become one of the cheapest (if not the cheapest) sellers of nicotine pouches in the world. You can buy Zyn’s cheaper from HAYPP websites than you can from the ZYN website. Haypp’s prices are 20-40% cheaper than grocery stores and 30-50% cheaper than convenience stores.
They have been integrating their distribution network so that most variable costs are being converted to vertical fixed costs creating operating leverage for them as they rapidly scale their revenue and are able to increase margins. They have implemented 2-day delivery across the US and close to implementing across Europe markets as well.
Leveraging Market Share for High Quality New Products
The last part of their business model is their ability to leverage their large consumer base to help new products capture market share, which allows them to capture higher margins on their products and it increases the variety of products which consumers would like to buy. In Nordic countries the variety of products is a benefit to them as consumers want to try various brands and flavors. When this competition trend hits the US it will only benefit them even more.
Why Haypp vs Pouch Companies
Currently in the US there are only a couple main brands with Zyn owning a huge chunk of the market. In Europe, Velo is the most popular brand but there are many Nordic brands that consistently attack margins and currently there is little competition in the US market which most likely won’t last much longer. As consumers search out the cheapest product and try to hunt for variety, HAYPP will be that future as convenience stores lag in variety and cost.
Products such as Zyn will definitely continue to grow (currently Zyn is growing at 70% y/y) but we could see margins shrink as competition becomes fiercer and consumers branch out away from the first movers, although Zyn continues to take up 70% of the US market. This only further benefits HAYPP as they are the go-to spot for a large amount of variety. Although they don’t benefit as much from less competition, they are still beneficiaries of an oligopoly esque market due to their cost and distribution networks.
Most large publicly traded pouch companies are also cigarette and chewing tobacco sellers who are rapidly seeing those segments get cannibalized by vaping and nicotine pouches combined with regulatory crackdown risk. Since HAYPP has no exposure to either one, you will not experience any cannibalization outside of snus cannibalization in the Nordics. This is the best pure play bet on nicotine pouch consumption.
Certain countries have limited the ability for consumers to have access to nicotine via retail stores which will allow them to take huge shares of the overall market in places like Germany or in California where they have banned flavored nicotine products in retail stores has led to windfall of customers to HAYPP’s e-commerce model.
Management
The current CEO of HAYPP group, Gavin O’Dowd, used to work for British American Tobacco (BAT) and was the driving force for the VELO acquisition. He currently owns 3.6% of the stock and various other PE firms and Family Offices own large chunks of HAYPP. Most executives have warrants that could give them the right to 200k-400k shares each (29m shares outstanding with no serious history of dilution).
Regulations
As many of you are aware, regulations are a huge part of the nicotine industry. Taxes are going to be huge risks, which are then combined with flavor bans. I think nicotine pouches are one of the products that are least likely to get hit with serious bans since their health risk is much lower than almost any other nicotine product.
The nicotine pouch industry as a whole has been behaving spectacularly well when it comes to ensuring they are not purposefully marketing to young people. They are trying to avoid having a Juul 2.0 fiasco which basically murdered that business and completely fragmented the vaping industry which is on the brink of regulatory crack down.
HAYPP does their part by ensuring age regulation across their whole site. They have age verification to order and deliver. They have a huge emphasis on ensuring that they abide by the law.
Financials
Core Segment (Nordic Countries)
The company is growing heavily in every segment that it operates in. Its core segment seems to be slowing down in growth due to heavy cannibalization from snus sales. This should only be temporary as nicotine pouch volume grows at 30%+ y/y. Once snus nears its cannibalization endpoint, I would expect revenue to begin growing again in its core market (although not at 30%). Current revenue is $250m USD and EBITDA is about $18m USD for just the core segment for the last twelve months. Management expects high single digit EBITDA margins for 2025.
Growth Segment (US, UK, Germany, Switzerland)
The growth segment is skyrocketing. Growth is over 46% y/y and this growth has been consistent and should continue to be consistent. EBITDA margin for the growth markets has begun to inflect positively which will cause a massive amount of leverage in their EBITDA to occur as their fixed cost model begins to do its job. As economies of scale drive forward, we should see this margin increase substantially over the coming years. Currently Revenue is at $77m USD for growth markets and EBITDA is at -$3.5m USD.
Let’s Talk about the Growth Segment a bit more.
This is where the real value from HAYPP will come into play. While it currently begins to inflect positive in terms of profitability, it should be noted that the Growth markets have a massive TAM compared to their core market and could cause the company to 5x in the next few years if they maintain or gain market share and continue to grow in these massive TAMs.
As they grow, their competitive advantage deepens due to sticky customers and cheaper products from economies of scale. The US has an even faster scale of 49%+ growth y/y and HAYPP is outpacing the US nicotine pouch growth at 57% y/y. As the US begins to approve various products and variety begins to flood the US market, a ton of US users want to try various Nordic brands that don’t have access which lends a very strong lean towards an online website such as HAYPP. The US is a very ripe environment along with the UK and Germany (where nicotine can only be sold online) for HAYPP to continue to outperform massively.
Emerging Segment
Their “emerging” segment is where they have begun to introduce vapes into their value chain. HAYPP is beginning to sell vapes to UK and Germany, but it is at the very beginning stages and has no current significant impact on their bottom or top line. The company says the growth they are experiencing in this segment has been very similar to the growth that they experienced when they introduced Nicotine Pouches in growth markets. This is the most likely segment to get hit with regulatory concerns, so for now I won’t even consider this in a to be a profitable unit and will just assume it will be a small drain on EBITDA for the foreseeable future.
Balance Sheet
The balance sheet is great with no large debt burden and good working capital management. As they hit profitability this yeaearly next year I would expect a cash build up until the company decides if they will be returning cash to shareholders or reinvesting in the business.
Valuation
HAYPP is extremely undervalued based on where they are from a profitability standpoint and their current inflection point. Due to their high growth, it will be hard to pinpoint an exact value on them so this will merely be an exercise in estimating their value among a range more than usual (anyone who claims they can perfectly value a high growth company is probably overvaluing due to unsound conviction).
First let’s look at how they are currently valued, which is roughly 14x their core EBITDA. Now let’s take a second and think about how insane that statement was. Their core market is the Nordic countries which will be hitting growth again as their snus cannibalization slows, the Nordic countries basically have no further regulation risk for nicotine pouches, and it is a noncyclical industry. I would argue that 14x their core EBITDA is probably an appropriate valuation based on only their core segment.
What this means is (if you haven’t noticed already) that you are getting their “growth” segment for free based on the valuation of the stock. The growth segment alone is probably worth multiples of the current stock price due to the massive TAM and extreme growth prospects. If we assume the emerging segment is worthless (which it isn’t and it will be profitable at some point) then that means all of the upside in the stock can be based on what the value of the growth segment. Based on TAM, growth, and lack of cyclicality then this leaves the only risk as regulation.
There will most likely be some sort of regulation, but we are very far from that as the Tobacco industry has been very careful in how they implement their new nicotine pouch momentum in a more appropriate way compared to vapes. The most likely regulations will probably be flavor bans of some sort or retail bans (which further benefits HAYPP). Regulations will most likely be limited in scope due to just the sheer lack of mortality risk associated with pouches vs any other form of common nicotine intake.
Based on their probable conservative revenue growth (40% average for the next 3 years, and 15% after that), EBITDA growth, the fact that they will have both core and growth markets at high single digit EBITDA margins in 2025, and their lack of cyclicality, then I would estimate that their Growth markets are worth a very conservative $400m-$500m USD. I am likely undershooting the valuation because they are driving profitability very fast and their revenue is growing closer to 40%-60% in growth markets right now. If they are able to keep up current growth figures and expand to double digit margins before the end of the decade then they could be worth 2x-3x this value (which is why valuing growth companies are so hard, because I can’t foresee the future). Again, I valued the emerging segment as worthless which is unlikely as well.
So, based on the value of $450m USD for the growth markets and the current value of $240 USD for the Nordic markets, that would create a sum of the parts equal to roughly $700m or nearly triple the current share price. This valuation leaves a ton of room for margin expansion and higher growth prospects because let’s face it, the US alone is probably worth at least 3x-5x more than the Nordic countries not including the UK, Germany, or Swiss. This is a very conservative valuation for the company, but it shows how great the risk/reward is based on the current price. Using a conservative valuation here also helps accommodate for regulation risk.
In SEK terms this would be 250 SEK/share or 7.35B SEK.
Conclusion
Even accommodating for regulation risk, a valuation of $700m seems appropriate as a starting point for the valuation for HAYPP Group. I think there is a very high likelihood that I could be off on this by a large margin, but I feel like the downside is very protected with this valuation. Management has been great in execution and I expect that to continue. In a more bullish case where every segment of the company fires on all cylinders we could see a valuation of $1.5B+, but that is not a scenario that I would like to bet my investors’ money on. For now, I will stay invested and keep watching them execute and adjust my valuation accordingly.
Disclaimer: The author of this idea and his Fund have a position in securities discussed at the time of posting and may trade in and out of this position without informing the reader.
Opinions expressed herein by the author are not an investment recommendation and are not meant to be relied upon in investment decisions. The author is not acting in an investment adviser capacity. This is not an investment research report. The author's opinions expressed herein address only select aspects of potential investment in securities of the companies mentioned and cannot be a substitute for comprehensive investment analysis. Any analysis presented herein is illustrative in nature, limited in scope, based on an incomplete set of information, and has limitations to its accuracy. The author recommends that potential and existing investors conduct thorough investment research of their own, including detailed review of the companies' SEC and CSA filings, and consult a qualified investment adviser. The information upon which this material is based was obtained from sources believed to be reliable, but has not been independently verified. Therefore, the author cannot guarantee its accuracy. Any opinions or estimates constitute the author's best judgment as of the date of publication and are subject to change without notice. The author and funds the author advises may buy or sell shares without any further notice. This article may contain certain opinions and “forward-looking statements,” which may be identified by the use of such words as “believe,” “expect,” “anticipate,” “should,” “planned,” “estimated,” “potential,” “outlook,” “forecast,” “plan” and other similar terms. All such opinions and forward-looking statements are conditional and are subject to various factors, including, without limitation, general and local economic conditions, changing levels of competition within certain industries and markets, changes in legislation or regulation, and other economic, competitive, governmental, regulatory and technological factors, any or all of which could cause actual results to differ materially from projected results.

Mother is very mentally and physically ill and we need advice on coping, next steps, and medical authority in NJ. As a brief summary, she abused prescribed Xanax for 20+ years until two years ago when she decided to quit cold turkey in a rehab facility, we’ve come to realize that was not the right approach; this damaged her mental state further. She experiences intense anxiety and depression, among physical conditions, i.e., Ramsay Hunt, knee swelling, and more.
She’s been in and out of psych facilities (short term stays), goes to group meetings (or she says she does), and sees a therapist/psychiatrist. NOTHING helps. She gets worse and worse and now she is the worst we’ve ever seen.
She’s also a compulsive liar. At a few of the facilities, they’ve diagnosed her with Borderline Personality Disorder, her mother had Narcissistic Personality Disorder so it makes sense. She lies about everything it seems to get our attention. You can’t trust a word she says about what the doctors said, she lied about losing her job and we caught her, she lies about complying with doctors but she does the opposite, as some examples among many others.
On top of this, when she’s home, she is not taking care of herself or her other son who is mentally disabled. She lays in bed all day, and smokes cigarettes constantly. She recently got pneumonia and a blood infection that caused her to pass out. She was in the hospital for one week now back in the psych ward for 7 days. We fear when she comes home, she will be a danger to herself, and others, because she doesnt take care of herself and she doesn’t understand what she needs to do to get better despite everyone telling her. I am working on becoming her medical authority in NJ because it’s clear she can’t make medical decisions for herself.
We are exhausted. She constantly calls begging for us to do something and visit her but what she doesn’t realize is that’s all we are doing, supporting her, answering every call from her, calling insurance companies, doctors, her former job, organizing finances and managing her other son’s care.
We are thinking she needs a long term stay at a mental hospital (3-6months at least) but she lies so much. Everytime she goes she says she is better after 1 week but NOTHING changes, honestly it seems like she is worse.
Any advice on how to cope, next steps, medical authority in NJ. For example, if we become her medical authority, can we commit her long term? Any advice is helpful. Thank you!

Mother is very mentally and physically ill and we need advice on coping, next steps, and medical authority in NJ. As a brief summary, she abused prescribed Xanax for 20+ years until two years ago when she decided to quit cold turkey in a rehab facility, we’ve come to realize that was not the right approach; this damaged her mental state further. She experiences intense anxiety and depression, among physical conditions, i.e., Ramsay Hunt, knee swelling, and more.
She’s been in and out of psych facilities (short term stays), goes to group meetings (or she says she does), and sees a therapist/psychiatrist. NOTHING helps. She gets worse and worse and now she is the worst we’ve ever seen.
She’s also a compulsive liar. At a few of the facilities, they’ve diagnosed her with Borderline Personality Disorder, her mother had Narcissistic Personality Disorder so it makes sense. She lies about everything it seems to get our attention. You can’t trust a word she says about what the doctors said, she lied about losing her job and we caught her, she lies about complying with doctors but she does the opposite, as some examples among many others.
On top of this, when she’s home, she is not taking care of herself or her other son who is mentally disabled. She lays in bed all day, and smokes cigarettes constantly. She recently got pneumonia and a blood infection that caused her to pass out. She was in the hospital for one week now back in the psych ward for 7 days. We fear when she comes home, she will be a danger to herself, and others, because she doesnt take care of herself and she doesn’t understand what she needs to do to get better despite everyone telling her. I am working on becoming her medical authority in NJ because it’s clear she can’t make medical decisions for herself.
We are exhausted. She constantly calls begging for us to do something and visit her but what she doesn’t realize is that’s all we are doing, supporting her, answering every call from her, calling insurance companies, doctors, her former job, organizing finances and managing her other son’s care.
We are thinking she needs a long term stay at a mental hospital (3-6months at least) but she lies so much. Everytime she goes she says she is better after 1 week but NOTHING changes, honestly it seems like she is worse.
Any advice on how to cope, next steps, medical authority in NJ. For example, if we become her medical authority, can we commit her long term? Any advice is helpful. Thank you!

Mother is very mentally and physically ill and we need advice on coping, next steps, and medical authority in NJ. As a brief summary, she abused prescribed Xanax for 20+ years until two years ago when she decided to quit cold turkey in a rehab facility, we’ve come to realize that was not the right approach; this damaged her mental state further. She experiences intense anxiety and depression, among physical conditions, i.e., Ramsay Hunt, knee swelling, and more.
She’s been in and out of psych facilities (short term stays), goes to group meetings (or she says she does), and sees a therapist/psychiatrist. NOTHING helps. She gets worse and worse and now she is the worst we’ve ever seen.
She’s also a compulsive liar. At a few of the facilities, they’ve diagnosed her with Borderline Personality Disorder, her mother had Narcissistic Personality Disorder so it makes sense. She lies about everything it seems to get our attention. You can’t trust a word she says about what the doctors said, she lied about losing her job and we caught her, she lies about complying with doctors but she does the opposite, as some examples among many others.
On top of this, when she’s home, she is not taking care of herself or her other son who is mentally disabled. She lays in bed all day, and smokes cigarettes constantly. She recently got pneumonia and a blood infection that caused her to pass out. She was in the hospital for one week now back in the psych ward for 7 days. We fear when she comes home, she will be a danger to herself, and others, because she doesnt take care of herself and she doesn’t understand what she needs to do to get better despite everyone telling her. I am working on becoming her medical authority in NJ because it’s clear she can’t make medical decisions for herself.
We are exhausted. She constantly calls begging for us to do something and visit her but what she doesn’t realize is that’s all we are doing, supporting her, answering every call from her, calling insurance companies, doctors, her former job, organizing finances and managing her other son’s care.
We are thinking she needs a long term stay at a mental hospital (3-6months at least) but she lies so much. Everytime she goes she says she is better after 1 week but NOTHING changes, honestly it seems like she is worse.
Any advice on how to cope, next steps, medical authority in NJ. For example, if we become her medical authority, can we commit her long term? Any advice is helpful. Thank you!

Mother is very mentally and physically ill and we need advice on coping, next steps, and medical authority in NJ. As a brief summary, she abused prescribed Xanax for 20+ years until two years ago when she decided to quit cold turkey in a rehab facility, we’ve come to realize that was not the right approach; this damaged her mental state further. She experiences intense anxiety and depression, among physical conditions, i.e., Ramsay Hunt, knee swelling, and more.
She’s been in and out of psych facilities (short term stays), goes to group meetings (or she says she does), and sees a therapist/psychiatrist. NOTHING helps. She gets worse and worse and now she is the worst we’ve ever seen.
She’s also a compulsive liar. At a few of the facilities, they’ve diagnosed her with Borderline Personality Disorder, her mother had Narcissistic Personality Disorder so it makes sense. She lies about everything it seems to get our attention. You can’t trust a word she says about what the doctors said, she lied about losing her job and we caught her, she lies about complying with doctors but she does the opposite, as some examples among many others.
On top of this, when she’s home, she is not taking care of herself or her other son who is mentally disabled. She lays in bed all day, and smokes cigarettes constantly. She recently got pneumonia and a blood infection that caused her to pass out. She was in the hospital for one week now back in the psych ward for 7 days. We fear when she comes home, she will be a danger to herself, and others, because she doesnt take care of herself and she doesn’t understand what she needs to do to get better despite everyone telling her. I am working on becoming her medical authority in NJ because it’s clear she can’t make medical decisions for herself.
We are exhausted. She constantly calls begging for us to do something and visit her but what she doesn’t realize is that’s all we are doing, supporting her, answering every call. On top of calling insurance companies, doctors, her former job, organizing finances and managing her other sons’s care.
We are thinking she needs a long term stay at a mental hospital (3-6months at least) but she lies so much. Everytime she goes she says she is better after 1 week but NOTHING changes, honestly it seems like she is worse.
Any advice on how to cope, next steps, medical authority in NJ. For example, if we become her medical authority, can we commit her long term? Any advice is helpful. Thank you!

Mother is very mentally and physically ill and we need advice on coping, next steps, and medical authority in NJ. As a brief summary, she abused prescribed Xanax for 20+ years until two years ago when she decided to quit cold turkey in a rehab facility, we’ve come to realize that was not the right approach; this damaged her mental state further. She experiences intense anxiety and depression, among physical conditions, i.e., Ramsay Hunt, knee swelling, and more.
She’s been in and out of psych facilities (short term stays), goes to group meetings (or she says she does), and sees a therapist/psychiatrist. NOTHING helps. She gets worse and worse and now she is the worst we’ve ever seen.
She’s also a compulsive liar. At a few of the facilities, they’ve diagnosed her with Borderline Personality Disorder, her mother had Narcissistic Personality Disorder so it makes sense. She lies about everything it seems to get our attention. You can’t trust a word she says about what the doctors said, she lied about losing her job and we caught her, she lies about complying with doctors but she does the opposite, as some examples among many others.
On top of this, when she’s home, she is not taking care of herself or her other son who is mentally disabled. She lays in bed all day, and smokes cigarettes constantly. She recently got pneumonia and a blood infection that caused her to pass out. She was in the hospital for one week now back in the psych ward for 7 days. We fear when she comes home, she will be a danger to herself, and others, because she doesnt take care of herself and she doesn’t understand what she needs to do to get better despite everyone telling her. I am working on becoming her medical authority in NJ because it’s clear she can’t make medical decisions for herself.
We are exhausted. She constantly calls begging for us to do something and visit her but what she doesn’t realize is that’s all we are doing, supporting her, answering every call. On top of calling insurance companies, doctors, her former job, organizing finances and managing her other sons’s care.
We are thinking she needs a long term stay at a mental hospital (3-6months at least) but she lies so much. Everytime she goes she says she is better after 1 week but NOTHING changes, honestly it seems like she is worse.
Any advice on how to cope, next steps, medical authority in NJ. For example, if we become her medical authority, can we commit her long term? Any advice is helpful. Thank you!

Read from April 29 – May 04, 2024
1/5 stars I HATED THIS
NOTE: I started out with an open mind read the first chapter, and then this turned into a hate-read.
That being said, no hate to anyone who enjoyed this book, I would love to hear what your opinions are, both on the book and this review :)
Let’s start with my ‘favourite’ quote:

“but it is impossible for someone who was not abused to become an abuser.”
Theo Faber, Psychotherapist

I genuinely do not understand what the hype around this book is.
To be fair, the second I read the words ‘TikTok sensation’ in the advertising, I should have known better.
The thing that struck me is that Michaelides is a SCREENWRITER, and this very much reads like a script, it felt like it was written solely for the purpose of selling the movie rights.
TLDR: This book wants to be Gone Girl so bad.
So, save yourself, if this is on your TBR, forget about it, read something else, ANYTHING else, read a newspaper, just don’t read this.
Longer rant Review, including the writing, characters, setting, and my main issues with this novel.

The Writing:

Is mediocre, at best. It’s very much in the style of ‘he said, she said’.
The best way I can describe it is that it reminds me of a middle-grade novel, where everything is stated clear cut and there isn’t much effort needed on the reader’s part.
There’s nothing wrong with that, for a KID’S book, but this is NOT written for a 10-year-old.
There’s long swaths of exposition, the chapters are between 2-5 pages long, we are constantly told who’s speaking, points are stated and then re-stated kind of like:

“Alicia Berenson has not spoken in 6 years” Diomedes said.
That’s right, from what I remember, she has not spoken since her husband was killed, 6 years ago.

So much needless repetition.
The reason I said that it reads like a script is because there is a lot of useless dialogue + endless descriptions.
Each character and setting is described in such needless detail, going on for entire paragraphs, for example:

Barbie was a Californian blonde in her mid-sixties, possibly older. She was drenched in Chanel No 5, and she’d had a considerable amount of plastic surgery. Her name suited her – she looked like a startled Barbie doll. She was obviously the kind of woman who was used to getting what she wanted – hence her loud protestations at the reception desk when she discovered she needed to make an appointment to visit a patient.

This character has been mentioned once or twice previously but she is relevant for MAYBE 15 pages out of 336.
Majority of the side characters are introduced like this, however, Theo isn’t really described in much detail beyond the ‘tall, dark and brooding’ trope and neither is Alicia, so the 2 protagonists are essentially blank slates.
The dialogue is so cringey, almost every chapter mentions the weather [this is set in the UK], like the weather is used as filler relentlessly.
There’s a bunch of continuity errors, the main one that comes to mind is that at the start of the book when Theo first enters The Grove [don’t even get me started on the name of the hospital, it sounds like the name of a cartoon villain’s layer, not a psych hospital] he is asked to give up his lighter and any other objects that could be used as weapons, yet he and majority of the side characters smoke CONSTANTLY INSIDE THE HOSPITAL.
The writing also reminded me A LOT of Colleen Hoover’s writing, and if that women has no haters, then I’m dead.

The Diary Entries:

Like I said, this book wants to be Gone Girl so bad.
The diary entries are written very weirdly, they don’t read like a journal, where you might get more of a stream of consciousness sort of style, they read like POV switches from 6 years in the past.
They don’t flow and amble like you would expect.
Examples:

Tears collected in my eyes as I walked up the hill. I wasn’t crying for my mother – or myself – or even that poor homeless man. I was crying for all of us. There’s so much pain everywhere, and we just close our eyes to it.
But I ruined the mood, stupidly, clumsily – by asking if he would sit for me. ‘I want to paint you,’ I said. ‘Again? You already did.’ ‘That was four years ago. I want to paint you again.’ ‘Uh-huh.’ He didn’t look enthusiastic. ‘What kind of thing do you have in mind?’ I hesitated – and then said it was for the Jesus picture. Gabriel sat up and gave a kind of strangled laugh. ‘Oh, come on, Alicia.’

The diary entries are not diary entries, they are memories.
People don’t write down entire conversations word for word like this when they journal, like “’
I had lunch with Martha’ he said”, you write it like “Gabriel had lunch with Martha today.”
I know why the diary entries feel so weird, they read like movie scenes, like a flashback.
Like the memory/subject of the diary entry should be playing in the background while someone narrates.
Again, this was a script, not a novel, I stand by this point.

The Characters:

Character development is frankly non-existent, the characters don’t exists as themselves, they exist to serve the plot.
They have no depth, and their motivations are lacking.
Theo faber: he was abused as a kid and is therefore damaged.
Chapter 3 was literally just an exposition dump of his entire childhood, just straight out of the blue.
It was like Chapter one: a report of the murder, chapter 2 further recollection, chapter 3: so my father beat throughout my childhood, I don’t know why.
Theo’s father was verbally and physically abuse, Theo attempted suicide when he was at uni, because the things his dad said made him feel like a failure.
But we are never told WHAT has been said, and therefore, we don’t see why exactly Theo would have doubts about himself.
Abuse shapes you as a person, if we got to hear his inner thoughts about what his father said, it would give greater insight into Theo’s identity as a character.
Besides that, Theo has a RAGING saviour complex,

“Unable to come to terms with what she had done, Alicia stuttered and came to a halt, like a broken car. I wanted to help start her up again – help Alicia tell her story, to heal and get well. I wanted to fix her.”

The book is filled with passages like that.
And besides that, it’s just filled with loads of nonsense psychobabble.
Theo is also OBSESSED with Alicia, the book tells us it’s out of guilt, but I contest and say that he’s just a creep who very much treats Alicia like a failed version of a manic pixie dream girl.
Alicia Berenson: Alicia is a walking contradiction.
We are told that she is beautiful, charming, sophisticated, but she instead comes across as an anti-social, paranoid shut in with serious co-dependency issues.
She has no friends, no relationships outside of her husband Gabriel, no hobbies, or interests outside of painting and having sex with her husband.
All she does in her chapters is paint, have arguments with people, have sex, and walk around.
Side characters: only exist to serve the plot.
Professor Lazarus Diomedes: the name alone makes me cringe.
He’s Greek, he has a lot of instruments in his office including a piano and a harp [which are never brought up after the initial chapters he’s introduced and he never plays any of them], he’s “unorthodox” and shunned, and he basically exists to be Theo Faber’s ‘yes man’.
Christian: stereotypical work rival who has a habit of calling all the patients bitches.
Yuri: He’s a psych nurse who takes Theo to bar and tell him that he and his wife divorced, and he fell in love with someone else. Fine fair enough, but does he approach this woman like a normal person?
No, he pulls a Joe from YOU and stalks and harasses her.
Yet later on THEO SAYS THAT HE IS A GOOD MAN AND THAT HE IS SORRY DOUBTING YURI. DESPITE INITIALLY BEING UNCOMFORTABLE WITH HIS BEHAVIOUR.
Then again Theo himself is a stalker so go figure.

The Setting:

The Grove is supposed to be a mental hospital used to detain mentally ill criminals.
Firstly, all the patients are female. It is never stated that the hospital is an all-female facility.
Second, we never get an idea of the scope of this place, there’s only one therapy room for EVERYONE to use, only 2 psychiatrists on payroll, Diomedes and Christian, 2 therapists, Theo and a side character named Indira, one psychiatric nurse, Yuri and an admin assistant, Stephanie.
The layout and descriptions are confusing, one area is referred to as the ‘Fishbowl’ throughout the novel.
Racism:
I don’t know if Michaelides has some internalized racism going on but every single foreign character has a habit of erasing their cultural identity.
Examples:
Yuri, the psych nurse who is Latvian –

Yuri was good-looking, well built, and in his late thirties. He had dark hair and a tribal tattoo creeping up his neck, above his collar. He smelled of tobacco and too much sweet aftershave. And although he spoke with an accent, his English was perfect.

This sort of backhanded compliment is considered racist, as someone who is POC myself, I’ve gotten this plenty of times and it always gives me the ick.
Jean-Felix, the gallerist –
He spoke with an accent. I asked if he was French. ‘Originally – from Paris. But I’ve been here since I was a student – oh, twenty years at least. I think of myself more as British these days.’
There were more examples, but these are the main ones I found in my notes.

Misogyny:

Firstly, the patients are all female, like I said earlier, it is never stated that it is an all-female facility.
This book is dripping with it, every single female character is either described as a manic pixie dream girl, a maternal figure, or a psychotic bitch.
The DOCTORS refer to their patients as bitches multiple times.
Example:

“She was entirely consumed with herself and her art. All the empathy you have for her, all the kindness – she isn’t capable of giving it back. She’s a lost cause. A total bitch.’ Christian said this with a scornful expression-“
Rowena gave a derisive snort. ‘Because Alicia’s the least responsive, most uncommunicative bitch I’ve ever worked with.’

Besides that, they are often compared to birds:

“I remember Mum and those colourful tops she’d wear, with the yellow stringy straps, so flimsy and delicate – just like her. She was so thin, like a little bird.”
“Alicia was sitting alone, I noticed, at the back of the room. She was picking at a meagre bit of fish like an anorexic bird;”

Alicia is also very much painted as a manic pixie dream girl in her diary entries, almost every page of her POV mentions sex, and it has no effect on the plot.
It was mentioned so often that I ended up keeping track out of boredom [I should have also tracked how often the weather was mentioned].
I think I have 15 tabs in 300 pages by the end of it for just sex scenes.
I don't have an issue with sex, but just like in movies when it gets thrown in for no reason, that's when it irritates me.
And of course the mentally ill woman with possible psychosis and BPD has to be shown as hot and a nymphomaniac.
Every one of her POVs reads like:
“Gabriel and I had an argument and then we had sex.”
“I went for a walk and fantasized about Gabriel.”
“I was trying to paint Gabriel but then we had sex.”
“I had an argument with someone and came home to wake up Gabriel and we had sex.”
I can see why this atrocity is a BookTok favourite.
Oh, and this line: [Warning NSFW]

“It’s still populated by sixteen-year-olds, embracing the sunshine, sprawled on either side of the canal, a jumble of bodies – boys in rolled-up shorts with bare chests, girls in bikinis or bras – skin everywhere, burning, reddening flesh. The sexual energy was palpable – their hungry, impatient thirst for life. I felt a sudden desire for Gabriel – for his body and his strong legs, his thick thighs lain over mine. When we have sex, I always feel an insatiable hunger for him – for a kind of union between us – something that’s bigger than me, bigger than us, beyond words – something holy.”

She’s out on a walk and salivating over 16-year-olds. Enough said.

Medical Malpractice:

Not only is a lot of the psychology in this book outdated, but in general, there is so much misinformation.
The psychology is so outdated, and it's mostly centered around Freud.
The biggest example I can think of is Alicia’s initial treatment, she has been put on Risperidone, which is an anti-psychotic prescribed to schizophrenic patients [Also prescribed for autism, BPD, etc. but that's on a case by case basis]
In the book, Alicia is shown to be completely out if it, she’s drooling on the floor, and practically comatose.
Risperidone is NOT a sedative [it can have sedative EFFECTS, but sedation is not the function] it acts on dopamine and serotine receptors and is used to reduce symptoms of schizophrenia, i.e. prevent hallucinations and help stabilize mood.
It should not be causing Alicia to be unresponsive.
[Disclaimer, this is just coming from my basic knowledge as a med student and a few quick google searches, if I'm wrong, please correct me.]
Moving on, Theo wants to treat Alicia but she’s on 16 mg of Risperidone, which is the highest safe dose possible.
He asks Christian to lower the dose, what does Christian do?
He stops giving Alicia 16 mg and switches her to 5 mg.
An 11 mg decrease. IN ONE DAY.
There is no gradual decrease, no safety precautions, NOTHING.
For context, Risperidone is prescribed in 0.5 – 1 mg increments.
This means that an 11 mg decrease is incredibly dramatic and DANGEROUS, it can send a patient into a psychotic episode, cause them to relapse and lead to withdrawal.
Christian being a psychiatrist should know this.
Patients are allowed access to a pool table without supervision, all the doctors smoke and offer their patients cigarettes,
Yuri deals drugs, Theo seemingly does no ither work besides talk to Alicia and play detective.

Depiction of mentally ill patients:

Throughout the book the patients are often referred to as animals, monstrous or zombies.
Examples:

“Her [Elif, a patient] face was pressed up against it, squashing her nose, distorting her features, making her almost monstrous.”
“It took four nurses to hold Alicia down. She writhed and kicked and fought like a creature possessed. She didn’t seem human, more like a wild animal; something monstrous.”
[Alicia is painting, Theo is watching]
“I felt like I was present at an intimate moment, watching a wild animal give birth. And although Alicia was aware of my presence, she didn’t seem to mind.”

On top of that, the word borderline gets thrown out A LOT, but it is never explained and is often derogatory.
Example:

[This is Christian the psychiatrist speaking, warning Theo about Alicia]
‘I’m just saying. Borderlines are seductive. That’s what’s going on here. I don’t think you fully get that.’

I am not against problematic writing, as long as it serves a purpose, but Michaelides is not talented enough to do something like this intentionally, and showing patients in this light serves no purpose.
Theo makes it very clear that he thinks that Elif, a Turkish woman, is ugly and rude, it is mentioned every time she is on the page.
This sort of depiction is harmful, mental health gets a bad enough rep as it is, again, I take no issue with problematic writing, but this is not problematic or controversial, this is ignorance.
The depiction of mental illness, coupled with the use of Risperidone, indicates, to me, that Michaelides did not do his research whatsoever.
He just thought of a cool idea and ran with it.
Oh, and lastly, let’s not forget:

“but it is impossible for someone who was not abused to become an abuser.”

No, just no. ANYONE can be abusive.
Correlation does not equal causation.
This is blatant misinformation and a very harmful message to send and I was actually so angry when I read that.

The Twist [spoilers]

The twist is the most ridiculous thing, and it hangs on by a thread.
I had already guessed that Gabriel was the one who Kathy’s affair partner was, and the entire thing falls apart when you realize that if any of Theo’s chapters were dated, you would figure it out immediately.
That’s a very loose basis for a dramatic reveal.
Yes, Theo is an unreliable narrator and I usually enjoy such stories, but this was just lazy.
I’m sorry, Theo followed Gabriel all over London and never ONCE saw his face, never heard Kathy moan his name when he was spying on them, not ONCE.
It’s poor when your twist relies on my suspension of disbelief.
Conclusion
- Poorly written, reads like a middle-grade novel. Michaelides is a screenwriter, and this very much reads like a script, designed to be easy to follow and direct.
- Horrible depiction mental health, both as a patient and in practice.
- Hollow, 2D characters.
- Misogynistic.
- Overall waste of time, save yourself.

Hey there! Let me introduce you to the top quit-smoking apps worldwide for iPhone and iPad users.
These apps were designed to spur you in your journey. So, with loads of determination and your gadgets, you’d be on your way to a healthier lifestyle.
Yes, you have it tough in these difficult times. Smoking brings relief, euphoria, ecstasy, relaxation, warmth, and escape from anger and stress. But hey, it has been widely accepted to be deadly; you know that? Yes, you do.
In her viral video, Terrie Linn McNutt Hall, a former smoker, said, “I wish I’d never seen a cigarette in my entire life. I truly do. I wish I’d never seen one, much less picked it up and smoked it.” Two days later, after years of battle against cancer caused by smoking, she lost her life.
Don’t make it too late. You can save your lungs and health from years of pain and torture.
In this article, you’d get to know or recall why you began smoking, why you should quit it, and some of the best quit-smoking apps for your iPhone and iPad.

Why Do You Smoke?

As people are different, so are their needs, challenges, and way of life. Therefore, the list below does not nearly cover why people smoke.
It simply states a few of them. To help you stop, you need to get to the root of your addiction.

1. Nicotine Addiction

Nicotine, a highly addictive substance found in tobacco, is the primary reason you become hooked on smoking. Nicotine addiction develops over time as the body becomes dependent on the drug.
Continued smoking is often driven by the cravings and withdrawal symptoms associated with nicotine addiction.

2. Peer Pressure and Social Influence

You may recall starting or continuing smoking due to peer pressure or the desire to fit in with a particular social group.
Smoking can be seen as a social activity or a way to bond with friends or colleagues who smoke.

3. Stress Relief

You may have turned to smoking as a coping mechanism for stress, anxiety, or other negative emotions.
Smoking is often perceived as a way to relax or relieve tension, even though the long-term effects on stress management are adverse.

4. Habit and Ritual

Smoking can become a habit deeply ingrained in daily routines. It may be associated with specific activities or situations, such as taking a break, socializing, or complementing other behaviors. The ceremonial aspects of smoking can make it challenging to quit.

5. Emotional Regulation

Smoking may be used as a way to regulate emotions or alleviate boredom. Some individuals find that smoking provides a temporary distraction or a perceived comfort in certain situations.

6. Weight Control

Nicotine is known to suppress appetite and increase metabolism, leading you to make smoking replace food cravings and become a part of weight loss goals.

7. Perception and Image

Smoking has historically been associated with specific images, such as being rebellious, cool, or sophisticated.
You may have begun smoking to align yourself with these perceptions or to project a particular image.

Why Should You Quit Smoking?

For numerous reasons, quitting smoking benefits one's health and overall well-being. Here are some compelling reasons to consider;

1. Improved Overall Health

You may experience ragged or hoarse breathing, shortness of breath, persistent cough, chest pains, and pain in the hands, arms, and shoulders. These symptoms are associated with a smoker's lungs.
Quitting smoking reduces the risk of developing these severe health conditions, including lung cancer, heart disease, stroke, respiratory infections, and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD). It also improves lung function and helps with better breathing.

2. Increased Life Expectancy

True, no one knows when death will come knocking, but studies have consistently shown that quitting smoking at any age increases life expectancy.
Stopping smoking significantly reduces the risk of premature death associated with smoking-related diseases.

3. Enhanced Cardiovascular Health

The impact of smoking includes damaged blood vessels, increased blood pressure, and the risk of blood clots.
When you quit smoking, your cardiovascular health improves, decreasing the risk of heart attacks, strokes, and other cardiovascular diseases.

4. Improved Respiratory Health

Smoking damages the lungs and leads to various respiratory problems, such as chronic bronchitis and emphysema.
Quitting smoking helps to reduce coughing, shortness of breath, and the risk of respiratory infections.

5. Better Physical Fitness

Smoking affects physical performance and endurance by reducing lung capacity and muscle oxygen supply.
When you quit smoking, you experience improved stamina, energy levels, and the ability to engage in physical activities without feeling breathless.

6. Enhanced Sense of Taste and Smell

You may notice a bland taste in your food and experience a decline in your sense of smell. Among other health conditions, smoking is a causative agent.
Smoking dulls the senses of taste and smell. However, these senses gradually improve when you trash smoking.
You, my friend, would be led back to a richer experience of flavors and aromas.

7. Improved Appearance

You may have seen photos of individuals before and after they quit smoking. If not, try looking it up.
Smoking contributes to premature aging, wrinkles, yellowing of teeth, and skin damage.
Quitting smoking helps restore a healthier complexion, brighter teeth, and a more youthful appearance.

8. Financial Savings

Hey, smoking is an expensive habit to maintain. You'd end up having several quick fixes that'll consume your paycheck.
By quitting, you can save a significant amount of money that would otherwise be spent on cigarette consumption, allowing you to allocate those funds toward other priorities or enjoyable activities.

9. A Better Quality of Life

Freedom, yes. Quitting smoking can bring about a sense of freedom, control, and empowerment.
You'll no longer allow cigarettes to control your existence. Once you kick that stick to the curb, you'd most likely experience improved mental and emotional well-being.

10. Protecting Others

Smoking harms the individual who smokes and poses health risks to those around them through second-hand smoke.
Asthmatic patients and others may be seriously harmed. It may sound far-fetched, but smoking or the light from a cigarette can actually start a fire.
When you decide to quit, you'll surely contribute to a healthier environment for your loved ones and reduce their exposure to harmful toxins. Think about it.
Remember, quitting smoking can be challenging, but numerous resources and support systems can help you succeed.
Getting professional help, joining smoking cessation programs, or using nicotine replacement therapies can boost your chances of quitting.
Now let's look at one of the support systems. Below and some of the best quit-smoking apps for iPhone and iPad.

6 Best Quit-Smoking Apps for iPhone and iPad

Several smoking cessation applications for iPhone and iPad can assist you in developing excellent and steady quitting methods.
Here are some of the top-rated and popular quit-smoking apps you can consider and how they work:

1. Smoke-Free - Quit Smoking Now

Being one of the best quit-smoking apps for iPhone and iPad, Smoke-free app offers comprehensive features and tools to help you quit smoking and stay smoke-free.
Here are some key features of the Smoke-Free app:

a. Personalized Quit Plan

The app provides a personalized plan based on your smoking habits and goals. It guides you through the quitting process with tailored missions and milestones.

b. Progress Tracker

Smoke-Free tracks your progress over time and displays statistics such as the number of smoke-free days, cigarettes not smoked, and money saved.
This can serve as a visual representation of your accomplishments and motivates you to continue.

c. Health Improvements

The app showcases the positive health changes that occur after quitting smoking.
It provides information on how your body recovers over time, such as improved lung function, reduced risk of diseases, and enhanced sense of taste and smell.

d. Cravings Management

Smoke-Free helps you manage cravings by providing strategies and distraction techniques. It offers interactive games and exercises to redirect your focus when desires arise.

e. Financial Savings

The app calculates the amount of money saved since quitting smoking.
It presents this information in various formats, such as daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly savings, motivating you with the financial benefits of quitting.

f. Achievements and Badges

Smoke-Free rewards you with achievements and badges as you progress on your smoke-free journey.
These milestones provide a sense of accomplishment and further motivation.

g. Community Support

The app includes a supportive community forum where you can connect with other people who are quitting smoking or have successfully stopped. It allows you to share experiences, receive encouragement, and support others.

2. QuitNow! Quit Smoking

QuitNow! Quit Smoking is another popular support system and one of the best quit-smoking apps for iPhone and iPad.
It offers a range of features and tools to help you quit smoking and maintain a smoke-free lifestyle. Here are some key features of the QuitNow! App:

a. Tracking and Statistics

QuitNow! tracks your progress by displaying the number of smoke-free days, cigarettes not smoked, and the time since your last cigarette.
It provides real-time updates on your progress and helps you visualize the positive changes happening as you quit smoking.

b. Health Milestones

The app provides information on the health benefits you can experience while staying smoke-free.
It shows improvements in lung function, cardiovascular health, and overall well-being.

c. Craving Management

QuitNow! offers a craving tracker that helps you identify patterns and triggers for cravings.
It provides tools and techniques to manage and overcome cravings effectively.

d. Financial Savings

The app calculates and displays the money saved since quitting smoking.
It shows your savings daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly, giving you a clear picture of the financial benefits of quitting.

e. Achievements and Badges

QuitNow! rewards you with achievements and badges as you reach certain milestones to quit smoking.
These badges provide a sense of accomplishment and can serve as a source of motivation.

f. Community Support

The app features a community of users who are also quitting smoking or have successfully quit.
You can connect with others, share your experiences, receive support, and provide encouragement to fellow app users.

g. Health Information and Tips

QuitNow! provides educational resources, health information, and tips to help you stay motivated and informed about the benefits of quitting smoking.
It offers insights into the positive changes happening in your body as you become smoke-free.

3. MyQuit Coach

MyQuit Coach is an application developed by Livestrong to help individuals quit smoking. It provides personalized support and guidance throughout your quitting journey.
Here are some key features of the MyQuit Coach app:

a. Personalized Quit Plan

MyQuit Coach creates a customized quitting plan based on your smoking habits, motivations, and goals.
It considers the number of daily cigarette consumption, smoking triggers, and previous quit attempts.

b. Tracker and Progress Monitoring

The app allows you to track your progress and monitor your smoke-free days, non-smoked cigarettes, and money saved since quitting.
This tracking feature helps you stay motivated and visualize the positive changes occurring as you move forward.

c. Craving Management

MyQuit Coach provides strategies and techniques to manage cravings and overcome nicotine withdrawal symptoms.
It offers tips and guidance to navigate challenging situations and cope with triggers effectively.

d. Achievement Badges

The app offers achievement badges to celebrate milestones and progress.
These badges serve as a visual representation of your accomplishments and provide a sense of achievement and motivation.

e. Community Support

MyQuit Coach includes a supportive community forum where you can connect with other individuals who are also quitting smoking or have successfully stopped.
This allows you to share experiences, receive encouragement, and gain support from others going through a similar journey.

f. Educational Resources

The app provides educational resources and information about the benefits of quitting smoking.
It offers insights into the positive changes happening in your body and the health improvements you can expect.

g. Motivational Reminders

MyQuit Coach sends personalized reminders and messages to keep you motivated and on track with your quit plan.
These reminders can help you stay focused and committed to quitting smoking.

4. Kwit - Quit smoking

Kwit is a quit-smoking app that takes a gamified approach to help individuals quit smoking.
This has made it stand out even as one of the best quit-smoking apps for iPhone and iPad.
It offers a unique and interactive experience to make quitting more engaging and enjoyable.
Here are some key features of the Kwit - Quit Smoking app:

a. Gamified Experience

Kwit uses gamification techniques to make quitting smoking more fun and motivating.
It offers achievements, missions, and challenges you can complete as you progress on your smoke-free journey.
The app provides a sense of accomplishment and rewards your achievements, making the process feel like a game.

b. Craving Tracker

The app includes a craving tracker to identify and monitor your cravings. It provides tools and activities to distract yourself and overcome cravings effectively.
The interactive nature of the app helps you shift your focus away from smoking.

c. Health Benefits Tracking

Kwit highlights the health improvements you can experience as you quit smoking.
It displays information about your progress and showcases the positive changes in your body, such as improved lung function, reduced risk of diseases, and enhanced overall well-being.

d. Financial Savings

The app calculates and displays the amount of money saved since quitting smoking.
It shows your savings daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly, giving you a tangible representation of the financial benefits of quitting.

e. Inspirational Content

Kwit provides motivational quotes, facts, and messages to keep you inspired and focused on your goal to quit smoking. It offers positive reinforcement and encouragement throughout your journey.

f. Community Support

The app includes a community feature that creates a medium for the communication of users.
You can share your progress and experiences and support others in quitting. It makes a supportive environment and a sense of camaraderie.

g. Progress Tracking

Kwit tracks your progress and displays statistics such as the number of smoke-free days, the pack of cigarettes not smoked, and the time since your last cigarette.
It provides a visual representation of your achievements and motivates you to continue staying smoke-free.

5. Quit Tracker

The Quit Tracker app is a simple, user-friendly application designed to help individuals quit smoking.
It focuses on tracking your progress and providing motivation along your quit-smoking journey. Here are some key features of the Quit Tracker app:

a. Tracking Smoke-Free Days

Quit Tracker allows you to track the number of smoke-free days since your quit date.
It clearly and visually represents your progress, highlighting the time you have successfully refrained from smoking.

b. Cigarettes Not Smoked

The app calculates and displays the number of cigarettes you have not smoked since quitting.
This feature helps you visualize the positive impact of your decision to quit and provides a sense of accomplishment.

c. Financial Savings

Quit Tracker helps you estimate the amount of money saved since quitting smoking.
It calculates the money you would have spent on a pack of cigarettes and shows your daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly savings.
This can serve as a powerful motivator and highlight the financial benefits of quitting.

d. Goal Setting

The app allows you to set goals related to your quit-smoking journey. Whether aiming for a specific number of smoke-free days or milestones, setting goals can help you stay focused and motivated.

e. Reminders

Quit Tracker lets you set reminders and notifications to help you stay on track with your quit-smoking goals.
These reminders can prompt you to resist cravings or provide encouragement during challenging moments.

f. Widget Support

The app offers widget support, allowing you to view your progress directly from your device's home screen.
This provides quick access to your smoke-free days, cigarettes not smoked, and other statistics without opening the app.

g. Customization

Quit Tracker provides customization options, allowing you to personalize the app according to your preferences.
You can choose different themes and adjust settings to tailor the app to your liking.

6. Smoke-Free - Quit Smoking App

This app is a highly regarded and comprehensive application designed to assist individuals in quitting smoking.
It offers a range of features and resources to support, motivate and maintain steady communication with users throughout their smoke-free journey.
Here are some key features of the Smoke-Free app:

a. Personalized Quit Plan

The app helps you create a personalized quit plan based on your smoking habits, motivations, and goals.
It provides guidance tailored to your needs and offers strategies to overcome challenges.

b. Progress Tracking

Smoke-Free allows you to track your progress as you become smoke-free.
It records and displays the number of smoke-free days, cigarettes not smoked, and the time since your last cigarette.
This tracking feature visually represents your achievements and motivates you to stay on track.

c. Health Improvements

The app provides information on the health benefits of quitting smoking.
It highlights the positive changes in your body as you stay smoke-free, such as improved lung function, reduced risk of diseases, and increased energy levels.

d. Financial Savings

Smoke-Free calculates the amount of money saved since you quit smoking.
It tracks your savings daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly, giving you a tangible representation of the financial benefits of quitting.

e. Craving Management

The app offers tools and techniques to help manage cravings and nicotine withdrawal symptoms.
It provides distractions, activities, and tips for navigating through challenging moments and staying committed to your quit-smoking goals.

f. Achievement Badges and Virtual Rewards

Smoke-Free rewards your progress with achievement badges as you reach milestones and accomplish goals.
These badges provide a sense of accomplishment and serve as a source of motivation.

g. Community Support

The app includes a community forum to connect with a supportive community of individuals who are also quitting smoking or have successfully stopped.
This allows you to share experiences, seek advice, and receive encouragement.

h. Daily Missions and Tips

Smoke-Free provides daily missions and tips to keep you engaged and motivated.
These missions and tips offer guidance, inspiration, and strategies to overcome challenges throughout your quit-smoking journey.

Conclusion

Remember, these quit-smoking apps are meant to provide support and motivation, but ultimately, quitting smoking requires personal commitment and determination.
Terrie Hall left a message before her death. She said, “Don’t smoke, and if you do smoke, quit. Keep trying until you succeed.”
There you have it, folks, the 6 best quit-smoking apps for iPhone and iPad.

Hey there! Let me introduce you to the top quit-smoking apps worldwide for iPhone and iPad users.
These apps were designed to spur you in your journey. So, with loads of determination and your gadgets, you’d be on your way to a healthier lifestyle.
Yes, you have it tough in these difficult times. Smoking brings relief, euphoria, ecstasy, relaxation, warmth, and escape from anger and stress. But hey, it has been widely accepted to be deadly; you know that? Yes, you do.
In her viral video, Terrie Linn McNutt Hall, a former smoker, said, “I wish I’d never seen a cigarette in my entire life. I truly do. I wish I’d never seen one, much less picked it up and smoked it.” Two days later, after years of battle against cancer caused by smoking, she lost her life.
Don’t make it too late. You can save your lungs and health from years of pain and torture.
In this article, you’d get to know or recall why you began smoking, why you should quit it, and some of the best quit-smoking apps for your iPhone and iPad.

Why Do You Smoke?

As people are different, so are their needs, challenges, and way of life. Therefore, the list below does not nearly cover why people smoke.
It simply states a few of them. To help you stop, you need to get to the root of your addiction.

1. Nicotine Addiction

Nicotine, a highly addictive substance found in tobacco, is the primary reason you become hooked on smoking. Nicotine addiction develops over time as the body becomes dependent on the drug.
Continued smoking is often driven by the cravings and withdrawal symptoms associated with nicotine addiction.

2. Peer Pressure and Social Influence

You may recall starting or continuing smoking due to peer pressure or the desire to fit in with a particular social group.
Smoking can be seen as a social activity or a way to bond with friends or colleagues who smoke.

3. Stress Relief

You may have turned to smoking as a coping mechanism for stress, anxiety, or other negative emotions.
Smoking is often perceived as a way to relax or relieve tension, even though the long-term effects on stress management are adverse.

4. Habit and Ritual

Smoking can become a habit deeply ingrained in daily routines. It may be associated with specific activities or situations, such as taking a break, socializing, or complementing other behaviors. The ceremonial aspects of smoking can make it challenging to quit.

5. Emotional Regulation

Smoking may be used as a way to regulate emotions or alleviate boredom. Some individuals find that smoking provides a temporary distraction or a perceived comfort in certain situations.

6. Weight Control

Nicotine is known to suppress appetite and increase metabolism, leading you to make smoking replace food cravings and become a part of weight loss goals.

7. Perception and Image

Smoking has historically been associated with specific images, such as being rebellious, cool, or sophisticated.
You may have begun smoking to align yourself with these perceptions or to project a particular image.

Why Should You Quit Smoking?

For numerous reasons, quitting smoking benefits one's health and overall well-being. Here are some compelling reasons to consider;

1. Improved Overall Health

You may experience ragged or hoarse breathing, shortness of breath, persistent cough, chest pains, and pain in the hands, arms, and shoulders. These symptoms are associated with a smoker's lungs.
Quitting smoking reduces the risk of developing these severe health conditions, including lung cancer, heart disease, stroke, respiratory infections, and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD). It also improves lung function and helps with better breathing.

2. Increased Life Expectancy

True, no one knows when death will come knocking, but studies have consistently shown that quitting smoking at any age increases life expectancy.
Stopping smoking significantly reduces the risk of premature death associated with smoking-related diseases.

3. Enhanced Cardiovascular Health

The impact of smoking includes damaged blood vessels, increased blood pressure, and the risk of blood clots.
When you quit smoking, your cardiovascular health improves, decreasing the risk of heart attacks, strokes, and other cardiovascular diseases.

4. Improved Respiratory Health

Smoking damages the lungs and leads to various respiratory problems, such as chronic bronchitis and emphysema.
Quitting smoking helps to reduce coughing, shortness of breath, and the risk of respiratory infections.

5. Better Physical Fitness

Smoking affects physical performance and endurance by reducing lung capacity and muscle oxygen supply.
When you quit smoking, you experience improved stamina, energy levels, and the ability to engage in physical activities without feeling breathless.

6. Enhanced Sense of Taste and Smell

You may notice a bland taste in your food and experience a decline in your sense of smell. Among other health conditions, smoking is a causative agent.
Smoking dulls the senses of taste and smell. However, these senses gradually improve when you trash smoking.
You, my friend, would be led back to a richer experience of flavors and aromas.

7. Improved Appearance

You may have seen photos of individuals before and after they quit smoking. If not, try looking it up.
Smoking contributes to premature aging, wrinkles, yellowing of teeth, and skin damage.
Quitting smoking helps restore a healthier complexion, brighter teeth, and a more youthful appearance.

8. Financial Savings

Hey, smoking is an expensive habit to maintain. You'd end up having several quick fixes that'll consume your paycheck.
By quitting, you can save a significant amount of money that would otherwise be spent on cigarette consumption, allowing you to allocate those funds toward other priorities or enjoyable activities.

9. A Better Quality of Life

Freedom, yes. Quitting smoking can bring about a sense of freedom, control, and empowerment.
You'll no longer allow cigarettes to control your existence. Once you kick that stick to the curb, you'd most likely experience improved mental and emotional well-being.

10. Protecting Others

Smoking harms the individual who smokes and poses health risks to those around them through second-hand smoke.
Asthmatic patients and others may be seriously harmed. It may sound far-fetched, but smoking or the light from a cigarette can actually start a fire.
When you decide to quit, you'll surely contribute to a healthier environment for your loved ones and reduce their exposure to harmful toxins. Think about it.
Remember, quitting smoking can be challenging, but numerous resources and support systems can help you succeed.
Getting professional help, joining smoking cessation programs, or using nicotine replacement therapies can boost your chances of quitting.
Now let's look at one of the support systems. Below and some of the best quit-smoking apps for iPhone and iPad.

6 Best Quit-Smoking Apps for iPhone and iPad

Several smoking cessation applications for iPhone and iPad can assist you in developing excellent and steady quitting methods.
Here are some of the top-rated and popular quit-smoking apps you can consider and how they work:

1. Smoke-Free - Quit Smoking Now

Being one of the best quit-smoking apps for iPhone and iPad, Smoke-free app offers comprehensive features and tools to help you quit smoking and stay smoke-free.
Here are some key features of the Smoke-Free app:

a. Personalized Quit Plan

The app provides a personalized plan based on your smoking habits and goals. It guides you through the quitting process with tailored missions and milestones.

b. Progress Tracker

Smoke-Free tracks your progress over time and displays statistics such as the number of smoke-free days, cigarettes not smoked, and money saved.
This can serve as a visual representation of your accomplishments and motivates you to continue.

c. Health Improvements

The app showcases the positive health changes that occur after quitting smoking.
It provides information on how your body recovers over time, such as improved lung function, reduced risk of diseases, and enhanced sense of taste and smell.

d. Cravings Management

Smoke-Free helps you manage cravings by providing strategies and distraction techniques. It offers interactive games and exercises to redirect your focus when desires arise.

e. Financial Savings

The app calculates the amount of money saved since quitting smoking.
It presents this information in various formats, such as daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly savings, motivating you with the financial benefits of quitting.

f. Achievements and Badges

Smoke-Free rewards you with achievements and badges as you progress on your smoke-free journey.
These milestones provide a sense of accomplishment and further motivation.

g. Community Support

The app includes a supportive community forum where you can connect with other people who are quitting smoking or have successfully stopped. It allows you to share experiences, receive encouragement, and support others.

2. QuitNow! Quit Smoking

QuitNow! Quit Smoking is another popular support system and one of the best quit-smoking apps for iPhone and iPad.
It offers a range of features and tools to help you quit smoking and maintain a smoke-free lifestyle. Here are some key features of the QuitNow! App:

a. Tracking and Statistics

QuitNow! tracks your progress by displaying the number of smoke-free days, cigarettes not smoked, and the time since your last cigarette.
It provides real-time updates on your progress and helps you visualize the positive changes happening as you quit smoking.

b. Health Milestones

The app provides information on the health benefits you can experience while staying smoke-free.
It shows improvements in lung function, cardiovascular health, and overall well-being.

c. Craving Management

QuitNow! offers a craving tracker that helps you identify patterns and triggers for cravings.
It provides tools and techniques to manage and overcome cravings effectively.

d. Financial Savings

The app calculates and displays the money saved since quitting smoking.
It shows your savings daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly, giving you a clear picture of the financial benefits of quitting.

e. Achievements and Badges

QuitNow! rewards you with achievements and badges as you reach certain milestones to quit smoking.
These badges provide a sense of accomplishment and can serve as a source of motivation.

f. Community Support

The app features a community of users who are also quitting smoking or have successfully quit.
You can connect with others, share your experiences, receive support, and provide encouragement to fellow app users.

g. Health Information and Tips

QuitNow! provides educational resources, health information, and tips to help you stay motivated and informed about the benefits of quitting smoking.
It offers insights into the positive changes happening in your body as you become smoke-free.

3. MyQuit Coach

MyQuit Coach is an application developed by Livestrong to help individuals quit smoking. It provides personalized support and guidance throughout your quitting journey.
Here are some key features of the MyQuit Coach app:

a. Personalized Quit Plan

MyQuit Coach creates a customized quitting plan based on your smoking habits, motivations, and goals.
It considers the number of daily cigarette consumption, smoking triggers, and previous quit attempts.

b. Tracker and Progress Monitoring

The app allows you to track your progress and monitor your smoke-free days, non-smoked cigarettes, and money saved since quitting.
This tracking feature helps you stay motivated and visualize the positive changes occurring as you move forward.

c. Craving Management

MyQuit Coach provides strategies and techniques to manage cravings and overcome nicotine withdrawal symptoms.
It offers tips and guidance to navigate challenging situations and cope with triggers effectively.

d. Achievement Badges

The app offers achievement badges to celebrate milestones and progress.
These badges serve as a visual representation of your accomplishments and provide a sense of achievement and motivation.

e. Community Support

MyQuit Coach includes a supportive community forum where you can connect with other individuals who are also quitting smoking or have successfully stopped.
This allows you to share experiences, receive encouragement, and gain support from others going through a similar journey.

f. Educational Resources

The app provides educational resources and information about the benefits of quitting smoking.
It offers insights into the positive changes happening in your body and the health improvements you can expect.

g. Motivational Reminders

MyQuit Coach sends personalized reminders and messages to keep you motivated and on track with your quit plan.
These reminders can help you stay focused and committed to quitting smoking.

4. Kwit - Quit smoking

Kwit is a quit-smoking app that takes a gamified approach to help individuals quit smoking.
This has made it stand out even as one of the best quit-smoking apps for iPhone and iPad.
It offers a unique and interactive experience to make quitting more engaging and enjoyable.
Here are some key features of the Kwit - Quit Smoking app:

a. Gamified Experience

Kwit uses gamification techniques to make quitting smoking more fun and motivating.
It offers achievements, missions, and challenges you can complete as you progress on your smoke-free journey.
The app provides a sense of accomplishment and rewards your achievements, making the process feel like a game.

b. Craving Tracker

The app includes a craving tracker to identify and monitor your cravings. It provides tools and activities to distract yourself and overcome cravings effectively.
The interactive nature of the app helps you shift your focus away from smoking.

c. Health Benefits Tracking

Kwit highlights the health improvements you can experience as you quit smoking.
It displays information about your progress and showcases the positive changes in your body, such as improved lung function, reduced risk of diseases, and enhanced overall well-being.

d. Financial Savings

The app calculates and displays the amount of money saved since quitting smoking.
It shows your savings daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly, giving you a tangible representation of the financial benefits of quitting.

e. Inspirational Content

Kwit provides motivational quotes, facts, and messages to keep you inspired and focused on your goal to quit smoking. It offers positive reinforcement and encouragement throughout your journey.

f. Community Support

The app includes a community feature that creates a medium for the communication of users.
You can share your progress and experiences and support others in quitting. It makes a supportive environment and a sense of camaraderie.

g. Progress Tracking

Kwit tracks your progress and displays statistics such as the number of smoke-free days, the pack of cigarettes not smoked, and the time since your last cigarette.
It provides a visual representation of your achievements and motivates you to continue staying smoke-free.

5. Quit Tracker

The Quit Tracker app is a simple, user-friendly application designed to help individuals quit smoking.
It focuses on tracking your progress and providing motivation along your quit-smoking journey. Here are some key features of the Quit Tracker app:

a. Tracking Smoke-Free Days

Quit Tracker allows you to track the number of smoke-free days since your quit date.
It clearly and visually represents your progress, highlighting the time you have successfully refrained from smoking.

b. Cigarettes Not Smoked

The app calculates and displays the number of cigarettes you have not smoked since quitting.
This feature helps you visualize the positive impact of your decision to quit and provides a sense of accomplishment.

c. Financial Savings

Quit Tracker helps you estimate the amount of money saved since quitting smoking.
It calculates the money you would have spent on a pack of cigarettes and shows your daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly savings.
This can serve as a powerful motivator and highlight the financial benefits of quitting.

d. Goal Setting

The app allows you to set goals related to your quit-smoking journey. Whether aiming for a specific number of smoke-free days or milestones, setting goals can help you stay focused and motivated.

e. Reminders

Quit Tracker lets you set reminders and notifications to help you stay on track with your quit-smoking goals.
These reminders can prompt you to resist cravings or provide encouragement during challenging moments.

f. Widget Support

The app offers widget support, allowing you to view your progress directly from your device's home screen.
This provides quick access to your smoke-free days, cigarettes not smoked, and other statistics without opening the app.

g. Customization

Quit Tracker provides customization options, allowing you to personalize the app according to your preferences.
You can choose different themes and adjust settings to tailor the app to your liking.

6. Smoke-Free - Quit Smoking App

This app is a highly regarded and comprehensive application designed to assist individuals in quitting smoking.
It offers a range of features and resources to support, motivate and maintain steady communication with users throughout their smoke-free journey.
Here are some key features of the Smoke-Free app:

a. Personalized Quit Plan

The app helps you create a personalized quit plan based on your smoking habits, motivations, and goals.
It provides guidance tailored to your needs and offers strategies to overcome challenges.

b. Progress Tracking

Smoke-Free allows you to track your progress as you become smoke-free.
It records and displays the number of smoke-free days, cigarettes not smoked, and the time since your last cigarette.
This tracking feature visually represents your achievements and motivates you to stay on track.

c. Health Improvements

The app provides information on the health benefits of quitting smoking.
It highlights the positive changes in your body as you stay smoke-free, such as improved lung function, reduced risk of diseases, and increased energy levels.

d. Financial Savings

Smoke-Free calculates the amount of money saved since you quit smoking.
It tracks your savings daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly, giving you a tangible representation of the financial benefits of quitting.

e. Craving Management

The app offers tools and techniques to help manage cravings and nicotine withdrawal symptoms.
It provides distractions, activities, and tips for navigating through challenging moments and staying committed to your quit-smoking goals.

f. Achievement Badges and Virtual Rewards

Smoke-Free rewards your progress with achievement badges as you reach milestones and accomplish goals.
These badges provide a sense of accomplishment and serve as a source of motivation.

g. Community Support

The app includes a community forum to connect with a supportive community of individuals who are also quitting smoking or have successfully stopped.
This allows you to share experiences, seek advice, and receive encouragement.

h. Daily Missions and Tips

Smoke-Free provides daily missions and tips to keep you engaged and motivated.
These missions and tips offer guidance, inspiration, and strategies to overcome challenges throughout your quit-smoking journey.

Conclusion

Remember, these quit-smoking apps are meant to provide support and motivation, but ultimately, quitting smoking requires personal commitment and determination.
Terrie Hall left a message before her death. She said, “Don’t smoke, and if you do smoke, quit. Keep trying until you succeed.”
There you have it, folks, the 6 best quit-smoking apps for iPhone and iPad.

“Are you ready?” Yasmin Raiz places a MASSIVE bowl of fried rice onto the table. “Hi everyone, it’s Yasmin Raiz, your Season 4 Mx Congeniality, and I’m here to host our REUNION of Season 5 of Chronologica’s Drag Race!” Yamin stands to welcome the monarchs. “Welcome back the lovely contestants of CDR Season 5! Madam Maine!”
Madam Maine re-wears her finale look: a top hat, fitted black and white suit and a pair of silver boots with a cane. She bows and smiles broadly, looking nervous.
“Kaia K. Beauvoir!”
Kaia strides out confidently in an elaborate gold and silver pageant dress, with silver hair that glitters with metallic extensions.
“Cwunchie!”
Cwunchie is dressed as a little yellow plastic flower, with big petals and a tiny narrow stem. Her arms and legs are constricted at her sides in the stem and she hops along the runway towards her chair, grinning wildly.
“Now, let’s welcome the elephant in the room.” Yasmin smiles. “Bates Baghdashi, everyone!”
Bates arrives in a sepia-painted Agatha-Christie-esque detective look, with decadent shades of tan, brown, and black, an oversized magnifying glass, a briefcase, and a messy mop of Sherlockian curls.
“Oh, I love this.” Yasmin claps.
Bates lights an oversized origami faux cigarette, pretends to smoke from it, then flicks it away, where it unfurls into a bird, already aflame, and blasts away into the air, powered by a miniature firework.
Madam Maine looks very afraid for a moment, and starts to stand up.
“Before we continue, I want to let everyone know that their safety is assured! You are not in danger.” Yasmin smiles at Maine. Bates blushes.
Maine sits back down.
“Say hello, it’s Mermaid princess, Cleo Mertoris!”
Cleo wears a golden seashell bikini top stoned to the gods, showcasing some clear, recent work done on her chest, as well as a tight blue mini dress, as she flicks back her long luscious ginger hair with a smirk.
“Drag Princesita!”
Princesita waves in a sepia coloured maxi dress and bald head look, with bronze glitter on the top of her now shaved head, as she spins around with a smile on her face.
“It’s Briar Midnights!”
Briar walks out dressed quite similar to Ambrose’s traditional look- a tophat and sleek black trench coat, with jet black, wet hair and a half-smirk.
“Ms Stripes, Starzanne!”
The others look unimpressed as Starzanne walks out in an American Eagle style look, with feathers, glitter and fringe wrapped around her body.
“Ambrose NOIR!”
Amborse wears a black plaid mini skirt and white linen shirt, going for a rare fem drag look, with long black braids with hundreds of little pins wrapped into the braids.
“S-S-e-v-e-r-a!”
Severa rocks BODY on the main stage, wearing a bikini top and denim short combo, as well as a sensible pair of blue boots and pigtails to add the final touch.
“Magenta! Leigh! Simmons!”
Magenta gaps, wearing a Magenta coloured plaid look, wrapped around her body to create a fitted garment, along with a Magenta pair of sneakers.
“Jupiter Sterling!”
Jupiter rocks a head to toe, douchebag Vuitton look- jacket, shirt, pants, glasses and a backwards baseball cap.
“Apocalyptica!”
Apocalyptica looks slightly displeased- wearing a bright, toxic green look that appears to have toxic slime wrapped around her, in a similar vein to a past look.
“Lupe LaBelleza!”
Lupe wears a sensible pussycat wig, red coat and matching pencil skirt, with a black sheer turtleneck and a red fedora, along with a pair of black sheer socks being held up by garter belts and classic black pumps with a smile.
“And our winner, Nymphe d’Azote!”
Wearing her crown on her shoulders, her head too small for her crown, Nymphe is dressed in a glittering yellow robe, wearing a matching facemask looking ready for a spa moment, along with a wig, made entirely of bubbles!
Yasmin smiles, handing people plates of rice. “Now, today we're spilling ALL of the TEA. At the start of our season, we said goodbye to some girls that some fans really wanted to see more of. Say hello to Madam Maine, Miss Kaia K. Beauvoir, and…”
“CWUNCHIE!!!!” Cwunchie interrupts happily.
Severa rolls her eyes.
Cleo rolls her eyes.
Kaia rolls her eyes.
Severa glares at Cleo.
Cleo glares at Kaia.
Kaia glares at Severa.
Yasmin smiles. “Madam Maine. Once and for all, can you tell us why you’re named after a state you’re not even from?”
“Oh! Haha.” Madam Maine laughs nervously, eyeing the cameras. “I really like Maine. I have a French Canadian aunt who lives up there.”
“French Canada? Is she related to French Montana?” Magenta asks.
“Oh…no.” Madam Maine smiles awkwardly.
“A lot of our viewers this season questioned whether you were totally ready for the Drag Race experience. What’s your take?”
“I will be honest. I wasn’t.” Maine flushes. “I don’t think that I totally understood the caliber of some of these performers, and…I was in such awe of them. I feel really lucky that I’ve gotten to know some of my castmates, including all the first outs before me. Jupiter and Princesita especially, I really feel have shown me love.”
“You’re a sweetheart, honey.” Princesita smiles. “I hope you get your chance to come back someday too.”
“Are we going to do that every few seasons? Because it’ll get old, QUICK.” Severa responds. “Twists are only twists if we don’t see them coming.”
“Agreed.” Kaia says.
Princesita frowns.
Yasmin looks at Kaia. “Kaia, you represented, I believe, our first instance of a child of Drag Race–that is, your drag mom, The Mother Delilah, competed on season 2.”
“That’s right.” Kaia nods, keeping one eye warily on Severa and Cleo. “As a trans woman, it was important to me to be part of a legacy of successful trans women.”
“Delilah was successful?” Severa half jests with a smirk. “I think there have been plenty of trans women on the show who were more successful.”
Lupe looks like she wants to say something, but doesn’t.
“Whatever, I’m proud to be a daughter of Miss Delilah regardless and even more proud of having a healthy and kind relationship with the woman who inspired my craft.” Kaia says haughtily. “Not all of us can say that after all.”
“Ooooooooo…” the room roars.
Severa makes a displeased face and shrugs.
“One question about your time on the show, Kaia.” Yasmin looks around. “Why do you, in particular, think you ended up going home so early? A lot of fans were very surprised.”
“I think it’s quite obvious that Cleo’s leadership in that challenge was disastrous for me and everyone else on it. I’d assume that Cleo’s current appearance reflects how people received her during this season.”
“You mean my gorgeous knockers?” Cleo shimmies.
“I mean, your cheap bra and panty set.” Kaia snaps. “And-”
“You’re so smug.” Cleo interrupts. “As if you have anything to be smug about. Not with that mug, you don’t, mate.”
“At least I can still afford my makeup.” Kaia shoots back.
Cleo huffs and crosses her arms.
“Cwunchie! You were a force of nature for a short time with us this season.” Yasmin looks nervous to even speak to Cwunchie.
“WOOOOOOHOOOOO!” Cwunchie yells. “This show did NOT disappoint! I–”
It then cuts to an ad break.
~
“Welcome back to the Chronologica’s Drag Race Season 5 Reunion! Onto, the infamous, Bates!” Yasmin smiles. “You had one of the most DRAMATIC moments, ever in history. Let’s look back.”
Bates grins as the cast turns to watch the TV screen.
~
Will the following-
Wait.
Everyone looks concerned. For a moment, the stage is perfectly still, as the judges and racers wait with uncertainty.
In the distance, sirens are heard. The sirens get closer. And closer.
Suddenly, a group of police officers in full riot gear burst into the room through a production door. Crew members and producers look shocked and frantic. The police officers are led by a stern-faced man with a badge that reads "Officer Jeffery," who steps forward, his hand gripping a pair of handcuffs.
What?
Office Jeffrey points directly towards the racers. Everyone looks to see who he’s pointing at.
Bates stares back at the officer expressionless, blood still dripping from their look.
"Mahdi Hakimian?” The police officers crowd onto the stage towards Bates.
“Oh my god.” Magenta gasps.
Princesita starts to say something, and Jupiter reaches over to cover Princesita’s mouth.
“Yes.” Bates gulps.
Officer Jeffery reaches towards Bates. “Turn around and place your hands behind your back.”
Bates stands silently, his face expressionless.
“I am placing you under arrest in connection with the murders of Javad Tahmasb, Hamidreza Entezami, Mohamad Askari, Mostafa Shahi, Ali Reza Arjmand, Arman Nousari, Elahe Nousari, Setareh Tarokh, and Mohammed Tarokh."
Magenta falls to the ground in her bra and panty set, as everyone looks in stunned silence.
Bates slowly raises their hands as the police officers move closer, handcuffing them.
Everyone looks in disbelief. The judges look shocked and horrified.
“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.”
Bates looks at Apocalyptica, still expressionless, and speaks softly. “Christian…I’m sorry.”
“You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand these rights?”
Bates gives a nearly imperceptible nod.
Apocalyptica’s eyes well with tears. “Batesy?”
~
“Traumatic.” Apocalyptica looks at Bates, who exhales.
“To explain this….” Yasmin looks over. “Rachelle Mirage!”
Rachelle walks in with a smile.
“You two have worked hard together- tell us, what happened?!”
“I am, as we’d all know, originally from Iran. And- I knew it was a risk.” Bates exhales. “And they found out, and tried to have me extradited back from the US, for an alleged murder.”
“You killed someone?” Magenta gasps.
“A set up. Some of my former schoolmates had reported to the government that I had been cast here. So they falsified police records to make it look like I had done something which… was just because I, a Queer person, was representing the country in a way that didn’t match their… image.” Bates nods.
“Then comes… me.” Rachelle grins. “I could not let this happen.”
“Thank you, Rachelle.” Bates smiles.
“I felt something was off. And, I served as a character witness in the International Criminal Court, where… Eventually, after little evidence, we were able to not only have this gorgeous artist freed- but, I pulled some strings…”
“And I am now living in Denver.” Bates responds, holding Apocalyptica’s hand.
“What a shocking story.” Yasmin smiles. “And Apocalyptica, I must ask- are you two…?”
“We live literally across the street from each other.” Apocalyptica smiles.
The two grin.
“Now next up! She was one of our famous RETURNEES- Ms Cleo Mertoris, who won her first challenge- then proceeded to go home. Cleo, how did you feel about your journey?”
“I think… I should’ve gone much further than I did, to be honest.” Cleo shrugs.
“Girl...” Severa stares at Cleo for a few seconds. “You deserve exactly what you got- because you weren’t talented enough to survive a lipsync.”
“Not Miss ‘Double Sashay’ talking.” Cleo gasps. “At least I could pay for my tits myself, and not resort to sugar daddies huh Sevvie… Fucking bitch!” In a flash, Cleo, angrily standing, throws her drink onto Severa, who yelps.
In a flash, Yasmin tries to pull Cleo away from Severa, but Cleo does her best to claw at Severa.
“The fuck?” Jupiter yells.
“Don’t fucking call me Sevvie ever again!” Severa yells, scrubbing at her ruined dress and crying while subtly drinking the cocktail on her face.
“I’ll call you whatever I fucking want! Coming for my fucking gig!” Cleo shrieks.
“Let’s stop this-” Yasmin raises her hand.
Cleo spits at Severa. “Fuck you, fucking whore. You only transitioned to copy me! I MADE YOU! I-”
“WE’RE GOING TO ANOTHER BREAK!” Yasmin yells.
~
Severa tries to shake cocktail out of her wet wig.
Lupe covers her mouth with one hand. Kaia is laughing.
Nymphe suddenly stands and aggressively wrings out Severa’s wig, as Severa winces.
“Well!” Yasmin says sharply. “Are you okay, Severa?”
“I’m fine.” Severa huffs, bent over as Nymphe wrings her wig out. “I started my transition because, since the season aired, I came to terms with a lot about myself. Including how some of my behavior on the season was…rash. I’ve definitely been hiding from this moment. And Cleo has nothing to do with it.”
Lupe apologetically speaks up. “Pienso que, Severa, that Cleo might just be jealous of you.”
“You know it, mami.” Severa sighs. “I also really want to express some sincere apologies to you.”
Lupe looks startled.
“I think that with our time on the show, I was often jealous of you. Unlike me, or Cleo, or Kaia, you have been confidently living in your womanhood for a long time. I’ve followed you for a long time…and I fucked up.” Severa nods. “I am sorry.”
“I accept your apology, darling.” Lupe smiles. “It’s all I ever needed.”
“Now, these two were our OTHER, non finalist returnees, and both have… wild journeys.” Yasmin smiles.
“Non finalist.” Princesita frowns.
“You did good, Mami.” Lupe smiles. “I know it was hard…”
“I lip synced- a lot.” Princesita nods. “And it was hard.” Princesita begins to tear up. “Because, I believed I could do better, you know?”
Magenta holds Princesita’s hand.
“But- you must keep going. You can never push yourself too far, and maybe this wasn’t my journey. I think… I think I've accepted that now.” Princesita sighs.
“Regardless of how it ends, know that you should be proud of yourself, girl.” Kaia shrugs. “Like, we can’t all win.”
“Like me.” Starzanne jokes.
Nobody laughs.
“Well, turning to you, Starzanne, you had a controversial moment this season, in your makeover moment….” Starzanne turns. “How did it feel, watching it back?”
“I feel bad.” Starzanne closes her eyes. “And… I’m learning, I’m working on what I know, how to do it better, how to…” Starzanne sighs. “Do more than what I did, and truly, I feel shame.”
“I kinda think it’s bullshit.” Severa looks at Starzanne. “Because I think you knew better.”
Ambrose and Briar nod in agreement.
“HOWEVER…” Severa shrugs. “Good for you.”
Starzanne pouts, before nodding. “I aim to really deliver, I p-promise.”
The others look uncertain.
Bates sighs. “As the Middle Eastern refugee here, I can’t speak for Mohammed, who it’s obvious you really hurt and mistreated…and I hope he never has to see or work with you again. Because I hope you do learn, Starzanne. But also know the work is on you, not people of color.”
Severa gulps.
“Moving onto a power couple, or power ex-couple, this season. Briar and Ambrose…”
Jupiter woofs.
“How are we going since the season?” Yasmin asks.
“We’ve reconciled.” Ambrose looks at Briar with a knowing glance.
“I think both of us felt intense pressure this season.” Briar nods. “We both wanted to exist separate, but were so intrinsically tied to each other…”
“Ultimately I did think it led to our failure.” Ambrose sighs. “And- that’s fair, because it was a lesson to learn.”
“The lesson, being?”
“We are powerful- together.” Ambrose smiles, holding hands. “But, we believe it’s important to make space.”
“So, where does that mean for you now?” Yasmin asks. “The both of you.”
The two look at each other.
“We’re creating space, yet, collaborating.” Ambrose nods. “And-”
“They’re fucking again, BUT not doing duo gigs. Only attending gigs together.” Magenta chuckles.
Everyone gasps.
“Well… true.” Briar shrugs.
“Now, finally- the shocking moment… right before the semi final.” Yasmin nods. “Let’s look.”
~
I’ve made my decision.
Jupiter Sterling, Shantay you stay.
“Thank you.” Jupiter exhales. “Thank you.”
Severa closes her eyes, whispering to herself. “Severa, shantay…”
Severa and Magenta Leigh Simmons…
The others look on.
Thank you for being here, and doing great work this season. Now, I must say… sashay away.
“Damn!” Magenta yells, as Chronologica chuckles.
Everyone in the back of the stage look flabbergasted.
“No, thank you for this.” Magenta bows.
Severa looks at the judges for a split second, before walking off without a word.
“...Damn!” Magenta says again, as the others laugh. “I’m strutting off with GRACE.”
Magenta raises her hands in the air, as she walks off with a cheer.
~
“First, you- Severa, how are you feeling with time?” Yasmin asks.
“I feel as if that’s a different girl. Kinda. She’s thinking she’s giving nothing, not caring- but she cares too much, she’s lost that war. I think of myself as effortlessly fierce- but I did get stressed. I wish I… walked off and stomped the stage.” Severa sighs. “Instead of that.”
“And that’s okay, because we all- get there, sometimes.” Princesita says. “It’s about what you do next.”
“I’m going to win, girl.” Severa jokes. “They gotta make another All Stars so this diva can take the title.”
Everyone chuckles.
“Magenta, how did you feel, about being the other half?”
“I am happy, because if I’m being damn honest, I didn’t expect to make it this far!” Magenta laughs. “And I was me the whole damn time.”
“I love you for being you.” Jupiter adds. “You’re real, Ms Simmons. We honor that.”
“And not everyone can say that.” Nymphe smirks.
Apocalyptica grips Bates' hands.
“Now, it’s time for us to celebrate… some titles.” Yasmin smiles. “First, our GOLD BOOT title of the Season- ugliest outfit. Winner of a $5000 grand prize….”
…
Starzanne Stripes and September Remembers arrive in what else, but red, white, and blue. September looks patchy- his face is painted red, white and blue, in an attempt to cover his beard. Starzanne and September are both wearing fringe dresses that look straight out of a car wash, and it’s the epitome of… awkward.
“Starzanne!”
Starzanne chuckles, grabbing the trophy.
“Anything to say, Starzanne?”
“I am now wearing a lot LESS red, white and blue.” Starzanne nods.
The others awkwardly chuckle.
“Now, our title of SHADE- The Shadiest C.U.N.T this season.” Yasmin smiles. “Can I have a drumroll?”
“Cleo?” Severa looks over at the empty seat laughing.
“SEVERA!” Yasmin cheers. “Condragulations, you’ve won $10,000!”
Severa chuckles, grabbing the sash. “Thank you,I’d like to thank Cleo, Alcohol, and the rest of you for being too boring to get confessionals!”
Lupe laughs dramatically.
“I’d say I’m surprised, but I’m not!”
Everyone laughs.
….
“Finally, MY successor.” Yasmin smiles. “This year, the Congenial title will win $20,000, sponsored by Virtue Beauty.”
Everyone looks excitedly.
“The Winner is… MAGENTA LEIGH SIMMONS!” Yasmin cheers, as everyone starts clapping.
“Yes, yes!” Magenta cheers, as Yasmin puts the sash on her.
“Do you have anything to say, my Queen?”
“I-” Magenta smiles. “Damn.”
Everyone cheers.
“She’s finally out of things to say everybody!” Kaia laughs.
“Ugh…” Apocalyptica whimpers, wiping her eyes, as the others look over.
“Popsicle, are you okay?” Lupe asks.
“I’m- I’m fine.” Apocalyptica sighs. “I just- am really happy for Magenta.”
Magenta smiles.
“Bullshit.” Nymphe looks over.
The room is quiet.
“You expected this win, and again, you’re inauthentic, you’re lying, and you’re not owning up to when you want something.” Nymphe responds.
“I-” Apocalyptica tears up, holding onto Bates. “I-”
“I do have a question to ask, actually, as the crowned Ms SHADE.” Severa smirks. “Ms, Popsicle- we noticed your lack of presence at the crowning. You weren’t at any of the cast parties we held to celebrate or any of the events we planned, so what’s really up?”
Nymphe looks over.
“What happened?”
“I didn’t feel up to it. I was a bit sad, and I really did want to be there- but I-I felt physically ill, and…”
“Bullshit, again.” Severa rolls her eyes.
“Alright, you guys can have your opinions on everyone’s actions, but we don’t need to gang up on her.” Bates says, raising their voice a little..
“I don’t know what any of you mean…” Apocalyptica sighs. “I just-”
“You wanted to win, so you’re bitter. You kept denying it- but clearly, you positioned yourself in a way to do well. And you lost. So, why not own up to it?” Nymphe asks.
“Ugh, Can you go fuck yourself?” Apocalyptica snaps.
“Woah.” Magenta says.
Everyone looks spooked.
“Popsicle… You don’t have to acknowledge them…” Bates whispers.
“Of course I wanted to win.” Apocalyptica exclaims loudly. “I wanted to prove alt drag, to prove myself, and I don’t think that trying to be nice while doing so is a sin. ” Apocalyptica says. “LIKE-”
“Because you weren’t being real.” Severa looks at Apocalyptica. “Not the sweet girl who always happens to copy others.”
“I- You can think whatever you want. I…Actually I’m not going to continue to engage with this narrative.” Apocalyptica stutters as she turns to hold onto Bates.
“If you owned being unoriginal, maybe you’d have won.” Nymphe shrugs.
“Okay hold up- I’m mad she didn’t show up to our get togethers either but unoriginal?” Kaia inserts herself into the conversation. “We all get inspired and learn and take notes from others, like that’s the point of drag families, Delilah taught me so much, does that make me unoriginal? Have none of us ever felt inspired after seeing a good drag show or look?”
“I learned a lot from everyone in my short time here, my drag has changed a lot from all of you.” Madame Maine smiles.
“Girl, there’s a difference between being inspired and trying to steal my signature move the week after I leave.” Severa turns back at Kaia and Madame Maine.
“And were you the first to ever do that move? You came up with it with absolutely no influence from anyone else.” Apocalyptica bites.
“I don’t remember getting any credit or even a shoutout.” Severa stares at Popsicle.
“Do you give credits to who helped teach you how to dip every time you do it?” Apocalyptica retorts. “Whatever, i'm just so over this conversation.”
“Cool.” Nymphe bluntly states.
Apocalyptica rolls her eyes. “Cool.”
A couple of seconds pass of silence.
“Well, thank you all for a lovely season.” Yasmin smiles breaking the tension. “Now, before we go… Here's a sneak peak of SEASON 6 of Chronlogica’s DRAG RACE, coming soon!”
~
This has been… magic.
“It sure has.” Nymphe nods, sipping her pink tea. “But the magic… lives on and continues, as does the journey of the forest. It is… eternal.”
It's magic, you know…
Thirteen figures flash, as someone grabs a potion labeled ‘IMMUNITY’.

Response to u/notprompter Firewood I'm Burning it down.
​
https://reddit.com/link/1ckx460/video/71j7hddicnyc1/player
See Above
[Verse 1]
Woke up about To Build a But
Brazilian on Metro Drums
Instead I see your Ugly Mug
Using A Banana As Ah
As If Unit of Measurement
When it comes to me Its A little Inaccurate
Shoulda used Ah Plantain
And G P T not my Mommas Name
I’m Hungry I need to Snack on something
Do I get Alien Steak If I Bust you open
I’m a Buster Nut, Thing Is Permanent
Mark Ah My name On your ship
Stand In front of a Mirror and repeat it
X S Leave Nothing Left
Use your Big boy Voice When you Address
Me on these Reddit Threads
[Chorus]
Ohhh That shit is Hot
Not, Prompt Kinda Late
Ohhh Thats All you got
Building A Bot Top of tha Game
[Verse 2]
Lets get it Straight
I’m only Capping When I play
Fallout you Fall in
And N E R D Is a Compliment
Hold on I got Your Mom
In my D m’s
[record scratching]
​
[Spoken Word]
Not Prompter This is your Momma. I wish you would take it easy there on earth I met this nice Human called Build A Bot and he Loves me. He listens to me He makes me laugh he tickles me so I just want you to know you should call him Daddy
​
[Verse 3]
Your Pops member he Left for Cigarettes
I’ll be your Replacement like that Bee itch
The only Ghost Here Writing
Is you Call it A Six Sense
Of Humor I’m no doomer
Gen X Not Boomer
​
Gen X Not Boomer
Maybe Boom Hower When you See Me Cower
Keep your head on a swivel Paranoid Smoking Flower
How are you So Advanced
Come all this way Just to Crash
[Spoken Word Male]
Man, it's just, it dang ol' complicated, you know, man, like a dang ol' Rubik's cube, man. Talkin' like blue, red, man then you get the one side and then like messed, messed up the other side, man”
Keep Trying We appreciate Writing
I’m a Deep Fry him With 11 Herbs and Spices
​
[DJ Scratch Showcase]
​
[Chorus]
Ohhhhhh That shit is Hot
Not, Prompt Kinda Late
Ohhhhhh Thats All you got
Building A Bot Top of tha Game
Let's Get it Straight
​
[DJ Scratch Showcase]
​
[End Song]
[Silence]
​
​
​