Hi everyone, I graduated with my bachelor’s in nutrition back in 2022. Unfortunately, I was unable to afford an internship/doing a master’s degree at the time so I decided to work and save up money to potentially pursue an internship/master’s degree. Recently, I’ve come to the conclusion that due to my finances, it may be best to become credentialed as a DTR (and hopefully pursue the path of becoming an RD in the future when I am more financially stable). I’m on the Commission on Dietetic Registration website and noticed that they listed “private practice” as one of the employment settings/opportunities for DTRs. Does anyone as a DTR have experience building their own private practice business? I understand that as DTRs we are more limited on what we can do compared to RDs. I do remember reading an article a few years back of someone who was credentialed as a DTR and opened up their own business but now I can’t seem to remember where I read that article. To give some more context about myself, I’m also a certified personal trainer through NASM. I’d like to do something in the sports nutrition/health and wellness related. Any advice would help. Thank you.

I’m getting really run down right now. My wife and I have been married 7 years with 2 beautiful boys. I want to move back to my hometown, where my parents still reside. My wife gets incredibly anxious about the thought and feels she cannot do it, it’s too scary at the thought. I’m not sure how we can move forward with our relationship if we can’t give this a try.
Background on why: I am the breadwinner with a remote, fantastic job. Can work anywhere—approved already by employer. My wife and I have 2 boys—one of which has several health challenges that we are working our best on him with: OT, Psyches, doctors, our own home therapy and parent practices, it’s very hard, and has been VERY hard on my wife. He is in preschool 5 days a week 9-3. Our 2yo is what you’d call more “typical” compared to his brother at 2. However, he is an awful, awful sleeper. Still cosleeping but waking 3-6 times a night. My wife cannot bring herself to try and help sleep “train” him (we would train him together) to be more self sufficient at sleeping, but constantly complains about how much he is up and how tired she is. I’m up with the boys every morning at 5:30 when the older boys wakes, then with the 2yo between 6-6:30 when he’s up and I let her sleep some more. I cook almost all meals, play, take them outdoors, to the store, do school drop off and pick up, dishes, laundry, etc. I feel I do quite a lot comparatively.
I’m running out of steam. My wife also recently had what I can only reasonably term as a mental breakdown when one of the boys became sick (a stomach bug), and it’s had a prolonged effect on her for a long time now. I got her to a crisis center and helped her finally get a therapist and a psychiatrist. I had been advocating for a year that she needs a therapist, since she stopped seeing her PPD therapist. She still sets off with anger, especially with our struggling 5yo, and gets severely overwhelmed with what I can only term as “life.” An example is she gets overwhelmed thinking what she wants for dinner. I’ve been balancing working at home full time with taking care of the youngest (while she’s trying to as well—but asks for help daily) and helping our oldest before and after school with all of his appointments—which are weekly, along with all the other life planning and tasks.
Her mom passed (by suicide) when she was young, her dad is around superficially and rarely visits. Her stepmom is nuts and toxic. She has 3 sisters, one I would say has now become toxic. The other two attempt to help, but are legitimately busy with their young kids and jobs and life. We are on an island. My family is 1000 miles away. My parents and siblings (with kids) visit more than her dad has. The friends I’ve made since moving for my career have actually moved away, for various reasons.
I want to move back to my hometown to be near my family, as they will provide our family with the support we need—particularly with our boys, but my parents, particularly my mom, wants to help her too. Our boys are terrific with my parents. It would provide myself with a great sense of relief too, as I feel I have little to no support where we’re at. Not to mention the cost of living will go down significantly—that’d just be a tertiary net gain. The thought of relocating terrifies my wife, change in general does. But life has just not improved whatsoever since we’ve become parents.
Trying to discuss this topic, or any topic of any significance or seriousness, causes my wife extreme anxiety. We’re paddling upstream against rapids all the time it feels. I’m not sure how much longer I can last in this environment—or our family tbh.
I think it’s become necessary to try a big change, to build something new for us with far more support and away from the drama and toxicity my wife has here. But moving for her seems impossible and too daunting. Her social network is full of similar stuff and doesn’t see her friends much, because she complains of their lifestyles (often involving drugs and alcohol) and the fact most don’t have kids and they stir the pot A LOT with drama, which causes her additional stress.
I’m trying to navigate how this can go from here. I want to be the leader and say “we need to give this a try” because I feel if we don’t, we’re doomed. Anyone been in any semblance of this situation?
TL;DR: I want to move back near my family for more support and build a better life. My wife is terrified at the thought, and feels she cannot do it. I’m drowning and our family NEEDS support, which we will get if we move. Advice?

Hi all! After a crazy, but incredibly fun and rewarding year earning my pilot certs, I wanted to make a write-up of my experience in hopes that it’ll be helpful for any other aspiring or current pilots. To summarize, I went from zero aviation experience to CFII in 13 months, Part 61, paying as I go and on the pretty cheap side. I do want to emphasize that I was ~incredibly~ lucky and had some very generous people who helped me out, and I could not have done this as efficiently and cheaply if it weren’t for them. I’m going to list all my takeaways below, but I think my biggest piece of advice is to network as much as you can because there are some amazing, generous people in this community that want to see us all succeed.
Background:
For context, I’m in my mid to late twenties and have been in the workforce for about 5 years. Through a combination of factors I decided to make a career switch to professional pilot but was hesitant because I did not want to take on debt. I have a family member who is an airline pilot who helped me devise a plan. I moved home and kept working my job remotely so I was able to put all my paychecks towards flying.
Private Pilot – 3 months, 75 hours TT, $12k
I did my private in a Piper Archer owned by my local FBO. The owner allowed my family member to be my instructor and gave me a small discount for pre-paying hours. We flew almost daily. I also took ground school at another local FBO in-person, and that was much more helpful than having to learn everything on my own because I was brand new to aviation. I took the private written exam as soon as my ground school concluded which was also the week of my checkride (bad idea in hindsight, but it worked out).
I solo’d around 25 hours and took my checkride with about 60 hours in the Archer (15 additional hours were in a friend’s airplane). The checkride was challenging, but straightforward and I was well prepared. The DPE said good things about me afterward and I was officially a private pilot! I’d be happy to answer questions or do a writeup in a separate post on any of my checkrides but for the sake of brevity I’ll skip that for now.
~Key takeaways from private:~
Fly as often as possible and make sure your instructor is aligned with that. Also stay on top of ground school. Also, don’t rush to take the checkride before you’re ready, it’s okay to have a lot of practice first. Lastly, I know DPE availability is a big issue in lots of areas and can cause people to have to wait on a checkride even though they’ve been ready for months. In my experience, if you try hard enough and call around, you will find someone. However, it might mean you have to travel a little bit which I know is not possible for everyone.
Instrument – 2 months, 150 hours TT, $14k
I was feeling a little fatigued after private so I was slow to start studying for instrument. I started by doing a lot of flying for fun, mainly flying in the Archer by myself on little cross countries to check off some of the requirements (in hindsight I should have found someone to split time with).
I did my instrument at a flight school in one of the adjacent states. This particular school specializes in accelerated programs, but they do not have a formalized instrument course. I went in-person and spoke with the director of flight operations to discuss my options. Since I had to take PTO to do this, the goal was to finish my instrument in one week with the checkride at the end. I paid a flat rate for the airplane and instructor time. I also stayed over there during that week so I had to pay for housing as well.
Before I went over there, I did some prep in the Archer that I did my private in and took the written exam (Sheppard air). I also purchased Sporty’s Instrument course and used that to prep and for the endorsement needed to take the written. The week I spent at the flight school was honestly a blast, and I was able to take my checkride on day 7 with 20 hours in the plane and about 4 hours of sim time. Again, happy to discuss the checkride in the comments or another post.
~Key takeaways from instrument:~
TAKE THE IRA, FII, AND IGI EXAMS AT THE SAME TIME. You only have to purchase the IRA Sheppard course and can take all 3 exams back to back. Also, again stay on top of ground school because instrument flying requires a lot of technical knowledge. But it honestly is really fun!
Commercial – 3 months, 263 hours TT, $8k
The biggest challenge for commercial was time building, of course. This is where networking saved me. I made friends with another instructor who frequented my local FBO who also owns a plane. He needed the time as well so we flew together a lot and I paid for the fuel. I also had another friend at the airport who owns a plane that he doesn’t fly often and offered to let me time build in that (again, I’ve been so lucky to come across some very generous people).
I did my checkride in the Archer that I learned in with my family member signing me off, and with the same DPE who did my private. Commercial was probably the easiest one I had done so far, but it still was no joke! I will say I was amazed with how much easier things came to me by this point versus when I first started, which was a great feeling.
~Key takeaways from commercial:~
Network, network, network. Spend as much time as you can at your local FBO or flight school and make friends with everyone. Like I’ve said, there are some very generous people out there who love to help out new pilots, and I could not have made it this far without them.
Also, in retrospect, it would have been a really good idea to have done commercial from the right seat. I’ve heard of a lot of people doing that and if I had, I would have been able to knock out CFI a lot sooner and cheaper.
Multi-engine add-on – 1 week, 298 hours TT, $4.3k
Shortly after getting my CPL, I had a week of PTO and decided to knock out my multi add-on. I found a flight school with a Seminole and got ahold of their MEI, and we figured we could knock it out during that week. I contacted the DPE who did my private and commercial and we scheduled my checkride for the end of the week. This flight school was about 2 hours driving from home, and I was able to stay with friends while I was there.
This one was a little challenging because this was in January in the midwest and we were seeing a lot of low IFR days. We ended up getting weathered out the first half of the week, but luckily the Seminole was an easy transition for me and we got me trained up in 3 days, 8 hours of flying. I took the checkride as scheduled and passed (I will say I have had extremely good luck with weather for all of my checkride days so far).
Sidenote: Prior to this checkride, I also took the AGI and IGI exams and asked the DPE who did my multi checkride to sign off on the ground instructor certificate at the same time. I did this because I’ve heard it helps when applying to CFI jobs (shows a little extra effort) and it was easier to do it this way versus having a FSDO issue the cert. Cost me $50 to the DPE.
~Key takeaways from multi:~
Do your research to find an airplane at a good rate. I paid $395 per hour which included the instructor, but I’ve seen some schools charging a lot more. Also, I looked into schools with accelerated courses that you pay as a package, and based on my experience I would not recommend because I was able to do it much cheaper my way.
My instructor did a good job of making sure I knew all the aircraft systems well enough to teach them in case I go for my MEI (which I would like to do soon). Since the MEL is light on material, I highly recommend this. Also, when I was doing research I was told to look for a Seminole or DA-42 because they’re easy trainers, which I would agree with based on my limited experience.
CFI – 1 month (on top of all my experience thus far), 316 hours TT, $5k
This was the scariest one for me. I had heard all along that CFI is the hardest and longest checkride and for the most part I would agree. I originally was planning on going to a school with an accelerated program for this, but after asking around I decided to do it on my own (with my family member signing me off).
This one was heavy on ground school. I got some lesson plans from various people as I heard that’s what everyone has prepared for the checkride, but I hardly ended up using them. I also had a friend send me PowerPoints he made for the technical subject areas. I edited them/made them my own and these are what I ended up using for the checkride along with a couple props.
As far as studying goes, the thing I found most helpful was watching random YouTube videos before bed every night. Although it was all review, I picked up a lot of tidbits that weren’t quite drilled into my brain as I still feel new to aviation overall. As the DPE described it, to be a good CFI you basically need to be a nerd about everything aviation and that’s what I tried to do. I would guess that I studied a few hours a day for a month and a half or so. As for the flying part, I had a little bit of right seat experience prior to buckling down for CFI (probably under 5 hours), so I’d guess it took me about 5 more hours to feel comfortable in the right seat. I took the checkride with the same DPE who did my private, commercial, and multi and passed! The checkride was 8 hours total so definitely a long day. As we were debriefing, I went ahead and scheduled CFII with him as well.
~Key takeaways from CFI:~
Start nerding out now (if you aren’t already). Keep a running collection of links and videos that explain concepts well or teach you something interesting, they will be useful for the checkride. Also, don’t buy lesson plans. As my DPE put it, there are really only like 5 lesson plans for any given topic and we all steal them from each other, so no need to reinvent the wheel or pay for them if someone else can give them to you. I’d also recommend really getting to know the PTS, because it lays out very clearly what you are required to do on the checkride (for example you know you’re going to need to teach runway incursions so it’s a good opportunity to be really prepared). I’m sure my last point is most applicable to those doing CFI on their own since you won’t have a school telling you exactly what to expect.
CFII – 1 month, 368 hours TT, $1.3k
CFII was possibly the easiest checkride to prepare for. I did this one in a friend’s airplane – a Mooney with a G750 and GFC 500 autopilot. It probably took about 10 hours of flying (I already have lots of time in this plane) to be ready. For studying, I reviewed Pilot Cafe, YouTube videos, and obtained some lesson plans from a friend. I did not use PowerPoints or anything for this one. I also had already completed the written exam back when I did my instrument rating. I’m not sure what else to say about this one, but I did it with the same DPE again and passed. It feels amazing to be done with checkrides for a while!
~Key takeaways from CFII:~
Select an airplane with a good autopilot. This made the flying portion of the checkride super easy. For the oral, I highly recommend working with instructors who send students for a lot of instrument checkrides. I feel like there are so many very specific questions that DPEs like to ask on instrument/CFII checkrides, so it helps if you have someone who knows what those questions are going to be. Also, FlightInsight on YouTube and Boldmethod were my favorite resources for this one. Lastly, make sure you know your avionics and autopilot really well, including reading and being able to teach all of the limitations that are in the user manuals.
Notes regarding cost:
I did a decent job of tracking all my expenses throughout this process. I noted in the title that the total cost to me was about $50k, which consists of the ~$45k that I discussed above plus some additional expenses. I also did my commercial ASES rating at Jack Brown’s seaplane base which cost me about $2.5K total (of course this was just for fun). The remaining amount consists of things like buying a headset, books, random accessories, and even some things I called “unnecessary expenses”. I temporarily paid for a membership at a flight school that I barely ended up using, so I put that in that category. While I did everything pretty cheap, I was definitely not perfect!
Here is a further breakdown of my expenses:
Airplane rentals/fuel - $36.9k
Instructor fees - $2.5k (bear in mind I got a lot of free instruction from friends & family)
Ground school - $1.3k (includes actual ground school and books)
Flight accessories - $1.2k
Written exam fees - $1.2k (8 exams total)
DPE fees - $5.8k (7 checkrides; this includes seaplane)
Medical fees - $290
Housing - $900
Misc/unnecessary expenses - $1.2k
Total: $51.7k
Overall Takeaways:
- For those doing Part 61/pay as you go, I highly recommend finding an independent instructor with a flexible schedule. This was key for me because I had a work schedule to work around.
- NETWORKING/MAKING FRIENDS. Go to every fly-in you can, always stop into the FBO to say hi to people, etc. etc. Having friends in aviation was monumentally helpful for me and saved me SO much money. Cannot stress this enough!
- If you are on a timeline, make sure you set specific milestones and when you are going to hit them. Make sure your instructor is on board too.
- Do your research! Reddit has been a fantastic resource for me throughout this process. Talk to people who have achieved the things you want to achieve. I really cannot thank you all enough for all your help and insights on your experiences!
Again, I am more than happy to answer any and all questions. I also apologize if anything is jumbled or confusing; this took a long time to write and I’m sure I missed things. I will also disclaim that while I did a good job of tracking all my expenses, I was not perfect and YMMV for sure. I just hope this gave a somewhat helpful picture for those hoping to do something similar to what I did.
As for next steps, I am aiming for the airlines one of these days! I have a couple interviews at flight schools coming up so I am planning to quit my job and finally start flying full-time soon. I want to do my MEI sometime soon as well but I haven’t figured out how I’m going to pay for the PIC time yet.
I also want to say that I absolutely love general aviation and hope to always be involved in it. I have made so many friends, had some incredible experiences, and learned way more than I could have ever imagined in the past year. For anyone thinking about flying, hopefully this is your sign to just do it! Feel free to comment with questions!

The night was bone-chillingly cold. The slightest whisper of a breeze nipped at my exposed ears and drafted unpleasantly within my overly large winter coat. The black, barren trees stood unmoving like sentinels bearing ominously down upon either side of the sleet-slick street, which was lit only by dim street lamps that, other than creating a dull yellow reflection on the otherwise unlit pavement, seemed to do nothing against the oppressing dark of this fateful December night.
I had passed through a wrought iron gate twenty minutes before, the gate that separated a cozy subdivision from this eerie, undeveloped stretch of road that seemed to be dropped in the middle of the forest. I could think only of my warm, lively hearth and a nice, hot cup of tea between my palms, which now, instead of being pressed against warm porcelain, were being stabbed by my untrimmed fingernails as I tightened my fist onto the leash and plunged the other still deeper into my coat.
This night was the culmination of weeks of investigation on a missing person’s case turned sour. A man named Arthur Smith had reported his four daughters missing, then hung himself three days later when we couldn’t find anything. Oddly, Arthur’s body went missing from the morgue shortly after. The only trace left was an incredible amount of flies, and we were displeased to see that every drawer was leaking a mixture of blood and embalming fluid because the refrigerant pipes burst. When we opened them up, the neck of every corpse had been slit.
Eventually, through good detective work, we were able to connect some dots, and that led us to where we were now: We were now on a manhunt for a suspect that was last seen at a gas station about a mile up the road, not two hours earlier. We checked a network of cameras to see that he had headed for the woods, grabbed the hounds, and here we were.
My colleagues and I were spread around in different parts of the forest with the police force’s seven bloodhounds. I got stuck with Old Ben, the force’s droopiest and most seasoned canine. He was partially blind and notorious for not obeying commands. He didn’t even respond to a dog whistle, which was why some of my colleagues thought his hearing was shot. I doubted this theory, though, because sure enough, when somebody whispered the word “biscuit,” Old Benny perked up and started wagging his tail.
Another ten minutes found Old Benny and I at the end of the once seemingly endless street, with the streetlamps and pavement stopping abruptly at the edge of the woods, which had not entirely swallowed up a bulldozer. Old Ben stopped and sniffed the air for a moment, then plunged down a path in the woods to our right. It was a dirt path, not two feet wide, overgrown and partially washed out, making it an unpleasant and muddy journey from here on out.
…
My flashlight was now the only source of light illuminating our way. Its beam slid over roots and rocks that jutted out of the path at odd angles and briefly swept over the nearest trees, bringing them out of the shadow for a moment. I felt claustrophobic as they bore down upon me and upon the path. The only sound was my deep breathing, my sloppy footsteps, and Benny’s blundering in the mud about ten feet in front of me.
The path turned in such a way that I could see faint moonlight up ahead, but a cloud soon covered the moon and removed the slight comfort its light had provided. I continued following the curve of the path, and pointed my flashlight up ahead. Suddenly, everything was pitch black, as my flashlight had just gone out without a flicker. I was especially annoyed because firstly, I had just replaced the batteries earlier that week, and secondly, I caught a glimpse of the dark outline of what seemed to be a small cottage up ahead, which was now invisible in the darkness.
To my surprise, Benny stopped as soon as the light went out, which made it easy for me to replace the batteries with the ones that I always carried around in my service belt. To my dismay, Benny did not continue walking when the light flickered back on, even when I started tugging on his leash. He simply sat in the mud and peered at the cottage in the distance, which I knew for a fact he couldn’t see. The cottage was incredibly run down, but I couldn’t see much more, as it was just at the edge of my flashlight beam.
I began feeling uneasy when Benny started whimpering and backing away, tail between his legs. Our dogs were trained to bark when they found something, not stand still, and certainly not whine and back away. Old Ben had never been a skittish animal; I had never seen him act like this before. I peered back at the cottage, suspecting something more sinister than I was originally prepared for.
I tied Benny loosely around a nearby tree, so he could pull away if need be, pulled out my handgun, and continued on. Not fifteen seconds later, I was hit with the smell of blood and wet dog, and heard whimpering to my left. I told Benny to stay, and turned to find him where I left him, about twenty yards behind me, looking at me like I was insane. I bent down and examined the source of the noise, only to find one of our bloodhounds laying just off the path and covered in a mixture of mud and its own blood. It was missing its hind legs and was shivering badly. I cursed and dispatched it with a quick slit with my utility knife, then unclipped its collar and stuffed it into my pocket before turning away. I did not want to alert the suspect of my position. I grew worried about the location of my colleagues, as our dogs were trained not to run off. I also wondered what kind of predator would have taken only the hind legs of an animal. I tried not to think about it as I continued on.
As the cottage grew nearer, I was able to make out a few broken windows reflecting my light back at me. Through these I was able to see that the inside of the cottage was pitch black, the darkest black I had ever seen. I walked closer still, and I couldn’t stop looking into the darkness of the cottage. The darkness was so potent it seemed to be spilling over the window sill into the crisp night air. I felt consumed. My heart began pounding within my chest, and I felt colder than ever as I stepped toward the gravel path that led around to the left of the cottage. The sudden change in surface and the sound of my feet crunching upon the gravel seemed to break my trance, and I shuddered.
I didn’t know why I had felt so trapped, and I didn’t like it. Something was definitely wrong with this situation, and my feelings of dread intensified as I followed the gravel path around to the front of the cottage.
A dripping noise interrupted my thoughts and temporarily washed the dread from my mind. I paused. I determined it was coming from the direction I was headed, but I couldn’t see the front door yet as the porch was draped with ivy. I was suddenly hit with the putrid smell I knew all too well: the smell of death. It hit my nostrils like a truck and returned my feelings of dread all at once. I shined my beam to the front steps.
There was a dark, red liquid trickling gently down the steps, pooling under the porch: blood. I looked up onto the front porch, now visible, and saw the torso of a man hanging from his neck about three feet away from the front door. His legs were nowhere to be seen, though there was a blood trail leading into the house, and his glistening entrails swayed sickeningly with the light breeze. Blood was pooling below him, trickling down the steps, and down through the cracks in the porch. It had begun coagulating, and dark swirling orbs rotated in the puddle each time a drop splashed down. I looked up again at the carcass and recognized the man as our suspect. There was frost beginning to form at the edges of his mouth and over his glassy eyes, but his exposed entrails were still steaming. Furthermore, the blood dripping from his wound was still deep red in color. The back of my neck prickled and I knew this man had not been hanging for very long. No, not very long at all.
I raised my pistol and nudged the front door open. I was again hit with the smell of death, though now much stronger, so strong I could scarcely draw breath. The inside of the cottage was unbelievably dank, and the darkness seemed to eat the quivering beam of light I pointed out in front of me, so I couldn’t see ten feet forward.
I heard a sharp crack and I bolted my gaze to my feet. I had just stepped on a human rib. Suddenly the cottage came alive with creaking and shuffling. I heard flies buzzing all around me. I heard a raspy rushing noise to my right. I shined my flashlight to where I thought the noise was coming from, but all I saw was a bloodstained floor and darkness out in front of me. I took a step toward the noise, and the beam of light revealed the glistening mangled corpse of a man, missing most of his skin, hunched in the corner of the cottage. His whole torso was heaving, and I saw the rushing noise was coming from the base of his throat, where a large gash was opening and closing with every breath, spraying flecks of fluid. Maggots wriggled out of his wound, and black purge fluid trickled from his soupy eye sockets, his missing nose, and his gaping mouth. He was missing most of his teeth, and one of his cheeks was rotted through.
I was frozen in place with fear, until, to my horror, the man’s mangled arm rose and reached out to me. At this I aimed and put a bullet through his partially exposed skull, splattering a putrid mist on the wall behind him. Instead of slumping over, as I prayed he would, the man slowly levitated into an upright position as though controlled by a puppeteer. Skin began regrowing around his legs, his torso, and eventually his skull, which sprouted two bloody horns out of his forehead. This being had the likeness of Arthur Smith, though I sensed it was no longer him. I placed two rounds into his torso, and the being staggered, but the bullet wounds simply closed with sickening squelching sounds. I backed away slowly, and he simply stood in the corner and leered at me with burning black eyes and a disconcerting grin.
I continued to back away slowly, placing one more round between his eyes. His head jerked back, but still it healed and he seemed unbothered. I bolted around and headed for the door. I jerked the handle but it wouldn't budge. I tried kicking it down, which was something I was very practiced at, but still, the rotten oak planks held fast against my will. I turned around, back against the door, firearm at the ready, and stared into the blackness. Everything was quiet once again. Despite the temperature, cold sweat beaded upon my brow and dribbled down my neck.
Suddenly I felt a rumbling that seemed to come from the very depths of the Earth. A splitting and splintering sound came from what I presumed was the center of the cottage, and I was soon showered with bits of wood and stone that nicked my exposed skin and drew droplets of blood. I noticed my back was no longer pressed against the back of the door, though I was not moving. The floor seemed to be carrying me slowly in the direction of the noise. I was frozen in place, and found that I could not change my trajectory.
My flashlight beam found the edge of a large hole in the floor. I saw dark, root-like tendrils sprout from the hole and rush across the floor with the sound of scraping and splintering. They then returned to the hole, and they had within their grasp six bare human bodies, which I horrifically realized were those of my now former colleagues. I watched in horror as their pale naked bodies were folded, torn, ripped, and broken in the churning earth. The sound of tearing flesh and cracking bone was deafening and filled the darkness of the cottage. The mass of mangled flesh formed into one chunky, glistening mound in the center of the hole. It began pulsing and rising, and horrible screams rang in my ears. I watched in horror as the mass formed a humanoid figure that rose up ten feet out of the hole and bent over against the ceiling. It was facing away from me, but its raspy voice seemed to mix seamlessly with the screams directly in my ears.
“The churning of earth, the tearing of flesh, the cracking of bone”
At this it let out a booming laugh that reverberated in my skull and shook the foundation of the building. The cottage once again came alive, but now more than ever before. Shutters were opening and closing, floorboards were rattling, flies swarmed in a huge mass around and around the room, blocking the beam of my flashlight and obscuring my view of the figure. I felt my legs quiver along with the rest of the cottage. I looked down at a red book with its pages fluttering in the still air. I dove for it and slammed it shut, and the cottage grew still. I paused for a moment, but the giant figure began turning towards me. I bolted around to see that the door was now open, but the hung corpse was clinging to the top of the door frame, now very much alive. Its entrails were still swinging freely from its short leap, and the rope lay severed and frayed upon the ground.
I paced towards the door, dumping the rest of my magazine into the corpse, which to my relief fell to the ground with a squelch. I hopped over the body and sprinted out the front door, away from the cottage, down the dirt path. I could still hear the screams of the damned faintly in the distance, and the earth began rumbling once again underneath my feet. I continued running back along the path, trying not to think about what I had witnessed. I paused for a moment to catch my breath, and shivered in the now relentless sleet.
The pounding of the earth became the distant rumble of thunder in the distance. By the time I had gotten back to the paved road, I was soaked to the bone in cold sweat and freezing rain, and I was covered up to my thighs in mud from the path. My coat was snagged and torn in places from the splinters of wood and from branches along the path.
When I finally got back to my car, I saw a leash leading underneath it, and found Old Ben, crouched below, tail between his legs. I scooped him up and plopped him in the passenger seat, entirely disregarding the former cleanliness of my car, as it was now covered in mud and dog hair. I cranked up the heat and sped off towards the station to report what I had witnessed.
…
We never did find that cottage again. Other guys went back to where I was and failed to find the path, but they did find the dismembered bodies of my colleagues hidden under the bulldozer at the end of the street. I was charged with the deaths of my colleagues and was thrown into a mental institute, but I don’t mind it much. There are people here that are far more insane than I am. The worst part is my occasional perception of a distant rumbling, and during thunderstorms I’m a whimpering mess.
I have been disciplined three times for writing symbols on the walls that I can’t get out of my head. I draw them in my blood so they stand out more and resemble what I see. I have found that once they are on the wall, they stay out of my head. Unfortunately, I haven’t finished writing them all out yet. The first time I started I got really close to finishing, but then I found myself strapped to a hospital bed.
The worst part of my new existence is the nightmares. I am plagued by images of my former colleagues: their pale dismembered bodies, the sound of cracking bone, their blood on my hands, their shrieks of pain, and the taste of flesh.

I'm reaching out for some advice/guidance regarding my job search situation after a challenging last year or so. I guess I start by saying that this will be a long post.

1. I finished a contract job early last year. After spending a significant amount of time on the resume (first time i did so largely on my own, took a better part of a few months trying to figure that out). I started applying online around the summer and I was getting interviews, but it didn't go anywhere (got close twice, getting to the third round, but still nothing).

Long story short, It got to the point where this year, i needed to move back in with family because i didnt want to go into debt. Now, there telling me to apply to the CRA and do the situational judgement test, and then everything will be fine and you could apply to any job.
Ignoring how incredibly competitive those roles must be, there's likely a high probability that I don’t have the years of experience for that (have basically around 2 years in several roles) that I dont see, with my employment gap and despite me doing volunteer work right now how even if i do the situational judgement test, that it could be remotely worth the effort.... Is this in any way realistic? Anyone familiar with what the process is actually like applying for jobs at the CRA?

1. My interviewing skills are weak. I've made careless mistakes as I look back on some interviews i've done. I've thought about going to the university i graduated from and asking for help, however, I always felt that interview prep was more suitable after getting the request for the interview from the employer, meaning you have a few day notice at best.

Each job description/job your applying for is different so your preparation will be different each time. Is there a place any of you went to in order to get help with interviews? Has general interview preparation worked for you?
I've practiced with family/friends before many times, but it hasnt really helped because the issue is and its hard to explain, but its hard to simulate an actual job interview with people your familiar with because the nerves aren't there for me.

1. At this point, I view advice like "apply online", "keep applying" given my unemployment gap is longer then a year, that advice feels like a wasted effort right now, I've tailored and altered my resume slightly, changing job titles, the beginning profile summary so it aligns better with jobs i've applied for so many times, I have so many different versions of my resume saved on my computer.

I had finally decided last month, to change my strategy and given that I had to move back in with family, I looked more toward volunteer work, as an easier way to cover up an employment gap, and an easier way to gain work experience right now. I started a non-paid volunteer role last month (thankfully, no interview required, just orientation process). This felt like a realistic option, but its a non-paid volunteer role. That very obviously wont work long term, and thats why I'm looking for general advice here on what to do next.

1. I've contacted agencies. Robert Half, Recruiting in Motion, Altis Technology are the ones where I have actually get responses back. However, i guess it comes back to the interviewing skills issue where maybe I'm just not showing enough energy during those calls. Which is why, going back to #2, If anyone has tips or resources that helped them improve their interview skills beyond practicing with family and friends, I'd greatly appreciate any advice you can offer.
   
2. I'm also signed up with YMCA's Employment Services through Employment Ontario. I recently did that, so its to early for me to say whether they'll be any benefit from it.
   
3. In terms of networking, I went through a significant amount of mental and physical health issues during my time in university. One of my regrets during that time was not being able to do, what your supposed to during that time which was network/build connections. I was in no shape to remotely think about working and doing school work at the same time. I tried that once during the summer time one year and I was really struggling , and I was only doing 2 courses during that semester. I’m far better now compared to before, but its more that, now that I’m out of school. I’m not sure where to start with that. ________________________
   

Thank you to anyone that might have took the time to actually read all of that. For some reason, I feel better after writing it.

Background: I am working on a project to make some open source templates for physical keyboard layouts that are non isomorphic and non chromatic. I come from a background of woodwinds to string instruments to piano, and have found that internalizing and learning new geometry and shapes when performing music to be extremely helpful to conceptualize and understand harmony, melody, and many other aspects of music.
My question is, if I am building a base instrument that is not able to be “tuned”, what would be the best starting point to standardize the Hz values programmed to each note? I am starting with 31-EDO and 17-EDO for the following reason: it’s arbitrary and I want to. I’m hoping that if I can’t pick a “standardized” Hz value for say, 31-EDO C0, I can at least arbitrarily pick one that makes the least amount of people go, “what is wrong with you?” My gut reaction is to pick A4 440 Hz, and to just go from there calculating cents and ratios for C0-C10 in various EDO’s and calling it a day. Feel like that is the least offensive option for what’s ultimately just personal preference, and easy enough to have a spreadsheet tool where you can plop in your favorite A4 value to calculate your preferred note range if you’re customizing your own.

After scrolling through here for a few days I thought I'd finally make a post of my own. In terms of what I'm hoping for? Just a connection for right now. It's been a long time since I've dated and even though I'm happy with where I'm at in life at the moment, lately i've felt this pull to bond with someone. While I'm certainly open to an eventual relationship, to begin with I really would just like a meaningful connection. To that end I don't really want to exchange photos or voice calls to begin with just chat/messages to begin with. If it feels right we can go from there. A few things about me:
i'm 36, never married, no kids. Not currently in a relationship. i work full time as an RN. i'm very close to my family both emotionally and location-wise, so even though I'm fine with an online long distance relationship i don't see myself being willing to move. I own my own home (It's almost paid for, an achievement I've worked very hard for and am proud of), and it's just me and my dogs living here.
In terms of what I look like: I'm 5'6", about 160 pounds, average build. Brown hair, but my beard is going gray. Overall I'm more or less average looking with the exception of my eyes, which, I've been told, are intensely blue (when GOT was still running a co-worker said I have "those white-walker eyes" lol). I'm not sure what counts as "heavily tattooed" but I'm probably there, I've got a full sleeve on one arm and a leg plus a couple other tattoos.
As for what I like/enjoy? If its nerdy i either already do it or would be into it. I love tabletop RPG's, board games, and video games. i love to read, i'll read pretty much anything I can get my hands on, and have converted one of my bedrooms into a library.
A few things I'm hoping for about you: i don't particularly care about age but please be between 26-40. I don't mind if you've been married or have kids, just don't currently be in a relationship.
If you've read this far thanks for at least checking out this post even if I never hear from you, but I hope to hear from you soon

As the dream begins, I'm preparing to enter a building, I'm feeling a sense of contentment. The structure is familiar to me. It's a place that I remember appreciating the architecture of in the past, as far back as when I was a child. I walk around a bit, smiling, thinking that I have to tell someone about this association to my past. So obviously, I haven't been to this area in a long time. In fact, I think it'll be my first experience actually walking through the doors. However, I had been in one of the neighboring buildings on many occasions. They're both similar in style, but I've always liked this one I'm going to today very much more.
I'm kind of looking around the interior in awe as I enter the building. The inside is as cool looking as the outside. It all has a kind of art deco design.
Then I notice my ex-girlfriend in the large, spacious room. She's crouched down to be at eye level with some kids; one or two, maybe three. Either they're playing a game of some kind or she's helping them to get ready to go outside, adjusting the collar of a raincoat perhaps. They don't appear to be her own children. The scene has a very kindergarten teacher type vibe.
She turns her head as she notices me, and smiles. It's not clear whether she knew I was going to be there or not. But seeing her is a total surprise to me. A pleasant one. It feels really good to finally see her again. We interact for a bit, talking. Replaying this in my mind just now, I can feel my heart soar. I have no expectations of what will follow. I'm not thinking about kissing, reuniting or having sex - things I long for in real life - so I'm solely in the moment. I realize now while writing this down that she was probably able to do that for me often. That partner had helped me to feel centered when we were together.
After some conversation in the dream I find out my ex-gf works there, in this building, for my therapist. Then the dream transitions to where I'm walking into my psychologist's office. My impression is that I felt good going in, still riding the high of appreciation for the building and of seeing my gf again. But there are some conflicts here in the timeline. I can picture arguing with her out in the lobby area too, which would have been before I entered the office. Insert shruggie emoticon here.
I haven't been to see this therapist, either in the dream or real life, in a long time either. It's like our first session of a restart of our work together (which would have been for the third round). I would be happy if this were happening in real life. But I'm suddenly angry at the guy, basically yelling at him for having hired my ex without warning me about it ahead of time. My assumption is that he knew how important she had been to me, knew how much pain I'd been in since the breakup, and knew how triggering it would be for me to see her again. That was about it for the dream.
Some context: In real life, I had been seeing this therapist while that girlfriend and I were still together, or at least supposedly still a couple, even though she'd been out of the country for months, if not over a year. We didn't "officially" break up until after I stopped going to him for therapy and she returned from overseas. However, originally I had started my second round of sessions with him because she and I had begun having an affair. One that led to my divorce (and questionably to hers). I had probably spent the entire therapy session time since then - maybe six years? - talking so much about the anxieties caused by my relationship with her that he was literally nodding off while I blabbed on and on. In fact, I had stopped seeing him in part because I noticed this happen once or twice. I never mentioned to him though that I felt like I was boring him with my complaints, and it hadn't been my intention to put a halt to our work together. But we had a break for holidays, a different opportunity arose, and I decided to try that approach for awhile. Turned out to be years. He and I haven't communicated in any way for nearly 20 years.
Feel free to interpret the dream if so inclined, but the meanings aren't lost on me at all. I'd be happy to discuss. I just had to get it out of me and preserved somewhere.

So long story short I started working for the start up company about a month and a half ago. Everything was going good the first two weeks, until I noticed that my ex boss now was demanding me to learn all these new things when I told him before, I was hired that I had no experience with IT.. but he hired me as operations manager, when I had originally applied for office manager. I was flattered that he offered me something else, but like I said, I told him before he hired me that I had no experience, and he said he would teach me.
He did not… The last week has been very difficult, because I have been working overtime but not on the clock, so I’m working with the company laptop when I’m at home so I can finish checking on some things. I asked him and everyone else in the office, if that was OK for me to do, and they all told me the same thing. “ why would you want to work while at home? It’s up to you, just make sure that your tracker is off.” Which is fine. I just wanted to study more of my Job role and wanted to go through all the documents.
Well, we hired 10 new “employees”.
It was my job to train them after 24 hours, and if they did not understand I needed to fire them and find someone else.
I did not feel comfortable with this, and I told him that, so he gave the responsibility to the office manager. All the HR stuff that I was supposed to do, he was giving to the office manager. I felt a little uncomfortable, but the same time I’m like OK that’s fine. I’ll just try and spend more time learning my role so I can help with other things.
Now my ex boss was throwing all these responsibility things for me to do, and it was nearly impossible to do that while also training 10 new hires over slack -online answering all their questions every single minute of the day. Also trying to meet my quota.. it became very stressful, and it got to the point where I started to have headaches. And I know that this could be a remote thing, but when I was hired, (I’m saying this, because it needs to be said) I was never told that I could not work from home. That the position that I was applying for wasn’t in position. And that was fine. I had no problem with that, however, I had things come up, and since every time I’m at the office, nobody would say a word to me nobody said anything or ask me questions Unless it was over slack.
Every time I try to talk to my boss about something, he would tell me “just dm me” when he was literally in front of me at my desk. So it just made no sense. I was really hoping that he would respect this, and I did tell him last night everything that was going on because I asked him yesterday if we could talk, I said this at 8:56am. He said “sure later this afternoon”. I asked what time, and he never said anything. Throughout the day, I noticed that he was laughing and joking, with all the other employees, having their own little mini conferences… meetings idk. I was a little bummed out, because I was so in the zone zone, helping the new hires, that nobody was talking to me. And I was hoping to at least squeeze five minutes and with him. But it wasn’t until 5 PM came when I’m like “ OK, he had all this time to actually talk to me. But every time I try to ask, he said he was busy.” When he wasn’t.
I have done everything that I can for this company when I first started. I would stay up all night studying, making sure that I understood… clearly that’s not what he wanted. He would call me out and be very disrespectful in a public channel thru slack..
I get a message from him this morning, and he pretty much just let me go go. What bothers me, is that it took him less than 10 minutes to completely delete all of my (professional email - no access on Slack or the dashboard) which I understand, but how am I going to return all this stuff? When the building is very high cyber security…
There was a lot of red flags going on at this place. I just feel completely used and taken advantage of. This has happened a lot throughout the years, but I had a feeling this was happening when he was stripping my duties after hiring me. And he expected me to be an expert at IT after the first week… I literally have a friend who does programming and coding for a living, and he’s teaching me, and he told me straight up that it is nearly impossible to teach someone to become an expert after a couple of days….
I just have a lot on my mind, I don’t know how to return this stuff if I can’t even get a hold of them. The fact that it took him less than 10 minutes like I said to wipe all my stuff, but he couldn’t even take the five minutes to talk to me in person yesterday.
Part of me wants to apply for unemployment and explain what happened. I know part of me feels like I would be denied, but at least I tried. Because everyone around me that has seen me come home working 10 hours Part of me wants to apply for unemployment and explain what happened. I know part of me feels like I would be denied, but at least I tried. Because everyone around me that has seen me come home working 10 hours a day five days a week.. I would come home and pass out for like 18 hours…
I told him about my disabilities, I was trying to be honest and update him with everything. But it’s like people don’t even care anymore.. it’s really shitty because I’m such a hard worker..
(After getting that message from him, I just went out and mowed my entire yard front and back. Took me about four hours… wore myself out but I really need to just vent and get this off my chest)

Hi Ya'll,
I recently graduated OCS and I have been bombarded myself in real life over what to expect with OCS. For context I went from basic training straight to OCS, and even graduated with honors. From the time of writing this post, it has officially been a month since I graduated. So here is a list of common questions I get and I hope I can settle some anxiety for all of you future 2nd LTs.
Warning: The cadre at OCS do read these reddit posts, so I won't be able to post answers to tests or events.

1. I haven't received a welcome letter, or a packing list. Where can I find it?
   • Fort Moore Officer Candidate School (army.mil) I would download and print the packing list and the ISAP. The ISAP acts more or less like a syllabus from college. It will give a rough understanding of the rules, regulations, and requirements for you to pass.
2. Is everything on the packing list required?
   • Yes. Try your best to follow the packing list to the letter. It is almost entirely dependent on the cadre and of course weather does play a part in their decision making. Some things you'll find you didn't really need or use throughout your cycle. For example, my cycle didn't use 550 Cord almost at all, but I used it to build a hooch, and secure sensitive items.
3. What if I don't have of the required equipment on the packing list?
   • When it comes to military equipment, try your best and bring what you can. I was never issued an IFAK before OCS or after. The cadre understand they have some coming from basic and those in-service. So if you have it, bring it. If not, bring it up to your cadre and they'll schedule time to get it issued to you.
4. Anything not on the packing list you recommend?
   • I would recommend the following: hand soap, bathroom spray, travel vacuum, wet-wipes, clipboard with compartment, pillow, very bright headlamp, multitool, and laminator. Hand soap because for some reason OCS had a hard time procuring it. Travel vacuum because you'll likely have 2 or 3 vacuums available to your platoon and having your own saves time. Wet-wipes to dust everything down. Clipboard with compartment for Land Nav as you'll be running with maps, marker, protractor, and your points so its best to have something safe and secure. Laminator for your papers because its Georgia and your papers can get wet. The pillows at OCS have this weird plastic cover on so if you want a better night sleep, get a better pillow. The headlamp is just in case, some classes inform the lumen limit while others don't, Land Nav is DARK so if you can find a lighthouse out there, do it. The multitool is just useful to have especially if you are out in the field.
5. Where can I find somethings on the packing list I am missing?
   • Luckily there is a company called Commandos who helped us out the entire time. They have an OCS purchasing list you can take advantage of. They even deliver that weekend at the footprint.
   • Visit: https://commando-military-supply-9d5038.printavo.com/merch/ocs-packing-list/
6. I saw you can bring your laptops? Is it required for classes? Can I opted in for a tablet or iPad?
   • You can bring a personal laptop primarily for recreational use after the duty hours. OCS will provide you with a government laptop that you'll need to use your CAC to access. Tablets and iPads are not considered laptops and will be confiscated like a phone. If the majority of your class as issues with the laptops, then the cadre may allow the use of your personal laptops.
7. What is your day-to-day look like?
   • Mostly on a non-physical or FTX event coming up you'll follow the following schedule: 0500 - wake up. First formation is at 0600, then you conduct PT until breakfast. After breakfast you will head to the classroom and stay there until lunch, return and stay there until dinner. After dinner, it will be the end of the duty hours and you'll roughly have 2 hours for personal time.
8. What are the most important categories/test to focus on?
   • Treat everything important. Every test you do not pass can put you at risk of being recycled, and it is up to you to catch up. For example while everyone is studying for tactics, you'll be studying tactics and history if you failed history. So save yourself the hassle and take every test seriously. The big 3 recycle event have been historically, Army History (70% to pass), Land Nav (4 points or more to pass (day and night)), and the 4-mile run (need to run in under 36 minutes regardless of gender).
9. How many retests or chances do you get?
   • You get 2 tries at everything before recycle. You get 2 tries again at the same test then you can be dismissed. For example: You are part of Alpha company. You failed history twice. You get recycled into Bravo company. You failed history twice again. You can be dismissed.
   • If you happen to pass history but fail Land Nav twice, then you'll be recycled into Charlie. If you fail Land Nav twice then you can be dismissed.
10. What is a recycle? What does it look like in OCS? Can you get dismissed?
    • A recycle is when you failed something twice and you get "recycled" into the next class. A recycle can occur for other reasons such as illness or injury. You can also be recycled for improper behavior or being "peered out". Every class starts up in a like a month (I heard they are changing that for even further out). So even though the cycle takes about 12 weeks to complete, if you get recycled you can expect more like 16 weeks or more. We had someone at OCS you has been with it for a year. You get recycled for repeat offenses, or do something majorly bad such as breaking the law, then you can be dismissed.
11. What is being peered out mean?
    • Throughout the cycle you are put into a platoon and then a squad. Your squadmates eventually all sit down and fill out a form to give the cadre who is the weakest link in the squad. Usually squads kick out the person they do not like. We had to kick out one person because they didn't mesh well within the squad and wasn't very kind. He would then get replaced with someone else who got peered out. Luckily after that one person got kicked out, the squad improved and we tried our hardest to keep it together. We still needed to peer someone out, but we kept tabs with them and invited them to a lot of our squad functions nonetheless as my squads grew to love and respect each other as a family.
    • If you do get peered out, unfortunately you get a spot report, moved to a different squad, and are at risk of being recycled if peered out again. Stay humble and help out whenever you can. I got the most respect from my squadmates as I stayed up late with them to help them with their STX lanes.
12. What is personal time like?
    • You essentially use personal time to workout if the PT wasn't enough, clean yourself, and prepare for bed. Yes if you have time, you can contact family and friends (when you get your phones), and if you have the time, play games. I don't recommend playing games as it distracts you from the mission of graduating.
13. What are the different phases like?
    • You are separated into 3 phases. Black, Blue, and White. You immediately enter black phase upon arrival with a traditional called "Gold to Black". Which is more or less a physical smoking session. During Black you are expected to run everywhere, not be able to drink coffee, have your phone confiscated (and given back on Sunday), and have less personnel time. Blue you get the ability to drink coffee again, and you have your phones returned and used only during personal time. During blue you get the ability to visit and explore the base (Fort Moore) and shop around. During white phase you get the ability to explore off-base (Columbus) and you get to wear civilian clothes. White phase if you leave off-post, you need to be in uniform, and on-base you can be in civilians.
14. Can you use your personal vehicle?
    • Yes, but you can only drive it during White Phase
15. How can I keep in contact with my family during black phase?
    • I recommend that you download WhatsApp or some other social media on your laptop and have your family members on it.
16. Can I visit the gym on base?
    • Yes during blue phase you can visit the gym. Rule regulates that you leave the footprint in uniform and change into appropriate PT uniform once at the gym and conducting PT.
17. What is the DFAC like?
    • The DFAC is better than basic training and offers snacks like cookies, granola bars, ice cream, and soda. They have a salad bar and the usual cycle of foods. They do have a "short-order" line which serves fries, burgers, hot dogs, etc. To stay in physical shape, I recommend eating your fruits and a side salad every meal. Drink juice, Gatorade, or water only. I only drank soda and the burger after an intense physical requirement like a long-run or a ruck march to regain my glucose and caloric levels.
18. Does Amazon deliver there?
    • Yes you can have other things delivered to the footprint. However, the Cadre are going to inspect it for food and other contraband. Just ask the cadre for the delivery address. It may take like 2 weeks for them to deliver it.
19. Any final advice?
    • Be helpful and noticeable amongst your squad but try not to bring attention to yourself from the cadre. Take everything seriously and give yourself proper rest and proper nutrition. OCS is not hard, but it can be if you let it get to you. OCS is designed to test your competency, commitment, and character. I luckily had an amazing squad, and I had a blast with them.

I want this to be an open forum so don't be afraid to leave anymore questions below. If the answer you are seeking is not above, then write the question in the comments, and I will try my best to answer you before you are sent off. Best of luck, thank you for your service, and be the best leaders your soldier's deserve.

I (33F) went back to university a few years ago to pursue a different career. In order to work in this field, in addition to your degree, you need to do a year internship and pass four board exams. I want to specialize within the field, which requires passing a further three specializing exams.
I completed my internship in January this year. It was an incredibly toxic workplace with a very high turnover. I worked 60 hour weeks. I was my managers punching bag and scapegoat and at some point a part of me just shut down in order to get through it. I had three coworkers from different departments approach me separately about how I was being treated and that I should report it to the regulatory board.
I have passed three of the four board exams. Two of them last year and one earlier this year. I failed the fourth exam and will have to retake it in August. Because I basically completed my internship and am just left with one board exam I am in an employment limbo where I can’t really work as an intern nor do I qualify to work in the profession. I have now been unemployed since February and desperately need to find a job.
I feel like I am in my own personalized version of hell. Failing the fourth board exam really put me in a very dark place. I have always done well academically and this was the first exam I’ve ever failed. My plan was to write the specializing exams in August but now I guess I’m going to have to push that to next year because I have to pass my board exam first.
I do some freelance work here and there but I absolutely despise every minute of it. I know it’s money coming in and I should be grateful but the amount I make barely covers groceries. And along with the money, everything is running out or breaking. My phone is at its end. My laptop is barely working. My clothes have holes in them. I have been applying to jobs, and will literally take anything I can get but the unemployment rate in my country is extremely high and jobs are so scarce.
On top of everything my relationship with my GF (32) is also failing. The final nail in the coffin was after my GFs mother passed away and I was told in no uncertain terms that I am not allowed to come to the funeral. My GF is not out to her family and I don’t see her acknowledging my role in her life anytime soon. I would never force anyone to come out of the closet if they are not ready but I want to have children and I just don’t see how or where I fit into her life.
But I currently stay with my GF. Since her mothers passing she has been staying with her father in her hometown for months at a time. They have been discussing having him move here (to my GFs place). This will basically mean that I will lose my home as I cannot afford to pay the rent on my own.
Once I inevitably lose my home I will have nowhere to go. My mother and my intellectually disabled brother stay with my aunt. My mother was retrenched a few years ago and has since been unable to find work. We’ve literally lost everything. I could stay at my aunts place but there is no room for me there. My aunt will also be retiring at the end of the year and I don’t want to put anymore financial strain on her.
I feel so hopelessly trapped. I just don’t know what to do.
The town I currently live in has very few job opportunities. So I would basically have to move to get a job but then none of the jobs actually pay enough for me to be able to survive. There are even fewer jobs in the town where my family lives.
I cry myself to sleep every night. The freelance work I do is online so I barely leave my apartment. I do the same thing everyday, over and over. I haven’t spoken to another human being in person for 6 days now. It’s a feeling of utter aloneness that I don’t even have the words to describe.
Even if I could leave where would I go, what would I do. I have no money, no friends, nothing. And everyday I have to face the fact that this is my reality, my hell. I worked so incredibly hard to get through that internship. I studied so incredibly hard for that exam. I put 110% in everything I do. And for what?
The only good thing I have is that I was able to lose 30 kgs. I’ve been overweight my entire life and for the first time I feel like I actually like my body. But for what? I can’t even afford new clothes, I wear the same baggy oversized clothes from before my weight loss. Because it’s all I have.
All I wanted was to build a decent life for myself. To have a job, enough money to survive, to have friends, and a family.
Before I went back to university, I was miserable, literally planning my suicide. But I made a promise to myself, that I would make a list of everything I hated about my life and at least try to fix it. And I did, I grabbed every opportunity that was available to me, I fought so very hard to get out of that hole. But now I’m halfway through that list and I’m just right back where I started, if not worse off because I actually had hope that things could get bette for me. And now that hope is gone.
Now all I see is how horrible the world is, how much pain and suffering there is. Everyone is suffering. The world has gone to shit, so what makes me so special that things will work out for me?
I so desperately want to live, to experience life but it feels like every chance I had, every opportunity was for nothing. That I was just going to end up the same way. I’m sleeping so much. I’m drinking so much. Just anything to take me away from this reality. And things could have been so different, if I could have just passed the exam I could have found a job. Something, just anything.
I’m just wasting away. And I don’t think it’s every going to get better. I saw my grandparents suffer. I saw my single mother suffer. This is just the way it’s always going to be in my life. And I’m just the idiot who thought that maybe, just maybe my life could be something different. I should have ended it when I had the courage to do so.

Delivering the commencement address to the graduating seniors at Morehouse College today, President Joe Biden addressed the nation. After thanking the mothers, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, and all the people who helped the graduates get to the chairs in front of the stage, Biden recalled Morehouse’s history. The school was founded in 1867 by civil rights leader Reverend William Jefferson White with the help of two other Baptist ministers, the Reverend Richard C. Coulter and the Reverend Edmund Turney, to educate formerly enslaved men. They believed “education would be the great equalizer from slavery to freedom,” Biden said, and they created an institution that would make the term “Morehouse man” continue to stand as a symbol of excellence 157 years later. Then Biden turned to a speech that centered on faith. Churches talk a lot about Jesus being buried on Friday and rising from the dead on Sunday, he said, “but we don’t talk enough about Saturday, when… his disciples felt all hope was lost. In our lives and the lives of the nation, we have those Saturdays—to bear witness the day before glory, seeing people’s pain and not looking away. But what work is done on Saturday to move pain to purpose? How can faith get a man, get a nation through what was to come?” It’s a truism that anything that happens before we are born is equidistant from our personal experience, mixing the recent past and the ancient past together in a similar vaguely imagined “before” time. Most of today’s college graduates were not born until about 2002 and likely did not pay a great deal of attention to politics until about five years ago. Biden took the opportunity to explain to them what it meant to live through the 1960s. He noted that he was the first in his family to graduate from college, paid for with loans. He fell in love, got a law degree, got married and took a job at a “fancy law firm.” But his world changed when an assassin murdered the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King—a Morehouse man—and the segregated city of Wilmington, Delaware, erupted with fires, looting, fights, and occasional gunfire. For nine months, the National Guard patrolled the city in combat gear, “the longest stretch in any American city since the Civil War,” Biden recalled. “Dr. King’s legacy had a profound impact on me and my generation, whether you’re Black or white,” Biden explained. He left the law firm to become first a public defender and then a county councilman, “working to change our state’s politics to embrace the cause of civil rights.” The Democratic Party had historically championed white supremacy, but that alignment was in the process of changing as Democrats had swung behind civil rights and the 1965 Voting Rights Act. Biden and his cohort hoped to turn the Delaware Democratic Party toward the new focus on civil rights, he said. In 1972, Biden ran for the Senate and won…barely, in a state Republican president Richard Nixon won with 60% of the vote. Biden recalled how, newly elected and hiring staff in Washington, D.C., he got the call telling him that his wife and daughter had been killed in a car accident and that his two sons were gravely injured. The pain of that day hit again 43 years later, he said, when his son Beau died of cancer after living for a year next to a burn pit in Iraq. And he talked of meeting First Lady Jill Biden, “who healed the family in all the broken places. Our family became my redemption,” he said. His focus on family and community offered a strong contrast to the Republican emphasis on individualism. “On this walk of life...you come to understand that we don’t know where or what fate will bring you or when,” Biden said. “But we also know we don’t walk alone. When you’ve been a beneficiary of the compassion of your family, your friends, even strangers, you know how much the compassion matters,” he said. “I’ve learned there is no easy optimism, but by faith—by faith, we can find redemption.” For the graduates, Biden noted, four years ago “felt like one of those Saturdays. The pandemic robbed you of so much. Some of you lost loved ones—mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, who…aren’t able to be here to celebrate with you today…. You missed your high school graduation. You started college just as George Floyd was murdered and there was a reckoning on race. “It’s natural to wonder if democracy you hear about actually works for you. “What is democracy if Black men are being killed in the street? “What is democracy if a trail of broken promises still leave[s]…Black communities behind? “What is democracy if you have to be 10 times better than anyone else to get a fair shot? “And most of all, what does it mean, as we’ve heard before, to be a Black man who loves his country even if it doesn’t love him back in equal measure?” The crowd applauded. Biden explained that across the Oval Office from his seat behind the Resolute Desk are busts of Dr. King and Senator Robert Kennedy, challenging Biden: “Are we living up to what we say we are as a nation, to end racism and poverty, to deliver jobs and justice, to restore our leadership in the world?” He wears a rosary on his wrist made of Beau’s rosary as a reminder that faith asks us “to hold on to hope, to move heaven and earth to make better days.” “[T]hat’s my commitment to you,” he said. “[T]o show you democracy, democracy, democracy is still the way.” Biden pledged to “call out the poison of white supremacy” and noted that he “stood up…with George Floyd’s family to help create a country where you don’t need to have that talk with your son or grandson as they get pulled over.” The administration is investing in Black communities and reconnecting neighborhoods cut apart by highways decades ago. It has reduced Black child poverty to the lowest rate in history. It is removing lead pipes across the nation to provide clean drinking water to everyone, and investing in high-speed internet to bring all households into the modern era. The administration is creating opportunities, Biden said, bringing “good-paying jobs…; capital to start small businesses and loans to buy homes; health insurance, [prescription] drugs, housing that’s more affordable and accessible.” Biden reminded the audience that he had joined workers on a picket line. To applause, he noted that when the Supreme Court blocked his attempt to relieve student debt, he found two other ways to do it. He noted the administration’s historic investment in historically black colleges and universities. “We’re opening doors so you can walk into a life of generational wealth, to be providers and leaders for your families and communities. Today, record numbers of Black Americans have jobs, health insurance, and more [wealth] than ever.” Then Biden directly addressed the student protests over the Israeli government’s strikes on Gaza. At Morehouse today, one graduate stood with his back to Biden and his fist raised during the president’s speech, and the class valedictorian, DeAngelo Jeremiah Fletcher, who spoke before the president, wore a picture of a Palestinian flag on his mortarboard and called for an immediate and permanent ceasefire in Gaza, at which Biden applauded. “In a democracy, we debate and dissent about America’s role in the world,” Biden said. “I want to say this very clearly. I support peaceful, nonviolent protest. Your voices should be heard, and I promise you I hear them.” “What’s happening in Gaza…is heartbreaking,” he said, with “[i]nnocent Palestinians caught in the middle” of a fight between Hamas and Israel. He reminded them that he has called “for an immediate ceasefire…to stop the fighting [and] bring the hostages home.” His administration has been working for a deal, as well as to get more aid into Gaza and to rebuild it. Crucially, he added, there is more at stake than “just one ceasefire.” He wants “to build a lasting, durable peace. Because the question is…: What after? What after Hamas? What happens then? What happens in Gaza? What rights do the Palestinian people have?” To applause, he said, “I’m working to make sure we finally get a two-state solution—the only solution—for two people to live in peace, security, and dignity.” “This is one of the hardest, most complicated problems in the world,” he said. “I know it angered and frustrates many of you, including my family. But most of all, I know it breaks your heart. It breaks mine as well. Leadership is about fighting through the most intractable problems. It’s about challenging anger, frustration, and heartbreak to find a solution. It’s about doing what you believe is right, even when it’s hard and lonely. You’re all future leaders, every one of you graduating today…. You’ll face complicated, tough moments. In these moments, you’ll listen to others, but you’ll have to decide, guided by knowledge, conviction, principle, and your own moral compass.” Turning back to the United States, Biden urged the graduates to examine “what happens to you and your family when old ghosts in new garments seize power, extremists come for the freedoms you thought belonged to you and everyone.” He noted attacks on equality in America, and that extremist forces were peddling “a fiction, a caricature [of] what being a man is about—tough talk, abusing power, bigotry. Their idea of being a man is toxic.” “But that’s not you,” he continued. “It’s not us. You all know and demonstrate what it really means to be a man. Being a man is about the strength of respect and dignity. It’s about showing up because it’s too late if you have to ask. It’s about giving hate no safe harbor and leaving no one behind and defending freedoms. It’s about standing up to the abuse of power, whether physical, economic, or psychological.” To applause, he added: “It’s about knowing faith without works is dead.” “The strength and wisdom of faith endures,” Biden said. “And I hope—my hope for you is—my challenge to you is that you still keep the faith so long as you can.” “Together, we’re capable of building a democracy worthy of our dreams…a bigger, brighter future that proves the American Dream is big enough for everyone to succeed.” “Class of 2024, four years ago, it felt probably like Saturday,” Biden concluded. “Four years later, you made it to Sunday, to commencement, to the beginning. And with faith and determination, you can push the sun above the horizon once more….” “God bless you all,” he said. “We’re expecting a lot from you.” — Notes: https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/speeches-remarks/2024/05/19/remarks-by-president-biden-at-the-morehouse-college-class-of-2024-commencement-address-atlanta-ga/https://www.inquirer.com/news/a/wilmington-del-riots-occupation-martin-luther-king-jr-national-guard-20181207.htmlhttps://www.reuters.com/world/us/morehouse-graduation-thanks-god-woke-class-2024-2024-05-19/

https://heathercoxrichardson.substack.com/p/may-19-2024

I asked a question on here recently that led to a discussion about antennas. I'm not new to the concept that it's a crucial part of any radio setup, but hadn't given much thought into building one myself. But now that I've started down the rabbit hole of researching them, I'm really excited to try and build my own! Especially since I just got my General and would like to start exploring HF.
So I'd like to try my hand at a dipole for 20m (and maybe even 40m) when I'm visiting my parents in a few weeks and have access to a big backyard (they live in the midwest). Is a dipole really just as simple as 2 stretches of 1/4 wavelength wire with a center feed? I like to be explicit with everything as possible to make sure I understand everything completely. My plan was to use 14AWG pure copper, stranded wire. 14AWG because my understanding is that the thicker the wire the better (for better bandwidth), but also there's a compromise with price and idk, 14 seemed a decent gauge. Copper because it's a great conductor, but if that doesn't matter as much, using aluminum would be nice for the lower cost. And I was watching a YouTube video where the guy recommended stranded over solid because, especially if you're going to be putting the antenna up and taking it down a lot, the solid core wire will be harder to manage and could develop kinks and bends over time.
And then there's the balun. I'd like to try and make my own, but that means I need to understand what it's doing. From what I gather, it's acting as a source of inductance between the feedline and the antenna so that the RF signal in the dipole will not significantly travel into the feedline (because high inductance produces high impedance to A/C), effectively isolating your antenna from your feedline. The reason having the RF signal in the feedline is bad is because a) it means the feedline is part of your antenna, which will introduce asymmetry in your antenna. And b) you have the strong RF signal running in your feedline into your shake, which can be dangerous if your rig is running at high power (although I'll probably start with QRP, so not really a problem). Is all that correct?
How then, do I go about building a balun? Seems like I need a common-mode chock. How do I go about making one of those? And also, I see a ratio shown for different types of baluns. What do those ratios mean and how do I know what is the right one to use?
Finally, what type of feedline should I use and why? I'm not new to electronics, but mostly I've worked with microcontrollers and digital circuits. All this signal stuff is relatively new to me. And there seems to be so many different types of coax and connectors and standards and what not. How do I go about picking one for a specific application?
I know I'm asking a lot of questions. If you only have an answer to some or even one of them, please feel free to just address those specific ones. I really appreciate people helping me out with this hobby and helping me learn all the nitty-gritty details!

I (33F) went back to university a few years ago to pursue a different career. In order to work in this field, in addition to your degree, you need to do a year internship and pass four board exams. I want to specialize within the field, which requires passing a further three specializing exams.
I completed my internship in January this year. It was an incredibly toxic workplace with a very high turnover. I worked 60 hour weeks. I was my managers punching bag and scapegoat and at some point a part of me just shut down in order to get through it. I had three coworkers from different departments approach me separately about how I was being treated and that I should report it to the regulatory board.
I have passed three of the four board exams. Two of them last year and one earlier this year. I failed the fourth exam and will have to retake it in August. Because I basically completed my internship and am just left with one board exam I am in an employment limbo where I can’t really work as an intern nor do I qualify to work in the profession. I have now been unemployed since February and desperately need to find a job.
I feel like I am in my own personalized version of hell. Failing the fourth board exam really put me in a very dark place. I have always done well academically and this was the first exam I’ve ever failed. My plan was to write the specializing exams in August but now I guess I’m going to have to push that to next year because I have to pass my board exam first.
I do some freelance work here and there but I absolutely despise every minute of it. I know it’s money coming in and I should be grateful but the amount I make barely covers groceries. And along with the money, everything is running out or breaking. My phone is at its end. My laptop is barely working. My clothes have holes in them. I have been applying to jobs, and will literally take anything I can get but the unemployment rate in my country is extremely high and jobs are so scarce.
On top of everything my relationship with my GF (32) is also failing. The final nail in the coffin was after my GFs mother passed away and I was told in no uncertain terms that I am not allowed to come to the funeral. My GF is not out to her family and I don’t see her acknowledging my role in her life anytime soon. I would never force anyone to come out of the closet if they are not ready but I want to have children and I just don’t see how or where I fit into her life.
But I currently stay with my GF. Since her mothers passing she has been staying with her father in her hometown for months at a time. They have been discussing having him move here (to my GFs place). This will basically mean that I will lose my home as I cannot afford to pay the rent on my own.
Once I inevitably lose my home I will have nowhere to go. My mother and my intellectually disabled brother stay with my aunt. My mother was retrenched a few years ago and has since been unable to find work. We’ve literally lost everything. I could stay at my aunts place but there is no room for me there. My aunt will also be retiring at the end of the year and I don’t want to put anymore financial strain on her.
I feel so hopelessly trapped. I just don’t know what to do.
The town I currently live in has very few job opportunities. So I would basically have to move to get a job but then none of the jobs actually pay enough for me to be able to survive. There are even fewer jobs in the town where my family lives.
I cry myself to sleep every night. The freelance work I do is online so I barely leave my apartment. I do the same thing everyday, over and over. I haven’t spoken to another human being in person for 6 days now. It’s a feeling of utter aloneness that I don’t even have the words to describe.
Even if I could leave where would I go, what would I do. I have no money, no friends, nothing. And everyday I have to face the fact that this is my reality, my hell. I worked so incredibly hard to get through that internship. I studied so incredibly hard for that exam. I put 110% in everything I do. And for what?
The only good thing I have is that I was able to lose 30 kgs. I’ve been overweight my entire life and for the first time I feel like I actually like my body. But for what? I can’t even afford new clothes, I wear the same baggy oversized clothes from before my weight loss. Because it’s all I have.
All I wanted was to build a decent life for myself. To have a job, enough money to survive, to have friends, and a family.
Before I went back to university, I was miserable, literally planning my suicide. But I made a promise to myself, that I would make a list of everything I hated about my life and at least try to fix it. And I did, I grabbed every opportunity that was available to me, I fought so very hard to get out of that hole. But now I’m halfway through that list and I’m just right back where I started, if not worse off because I actually had hope that things could get bette for me. And now that hope is gone.
Now all I see is how horrible the world is, how much pain and suffering there is. Everyone is suffering. The world has gone to shit, so what makes me so special that things will work out for me?
I so desperately want to live, to experience life but it feels like every chance I had, every opportunity was for nothing. That I was just going to end up the same way. I’m sleeping so much. I’m drinking so much. Just anything to take me away from this reality. And things could have been so different, if I could have just passed the exam I could have found a job. Something, just anything.
I’m just wasting away. And I don’t think it’s every going to get better. I saw my grandparents suffer. I saw my single mother suffer. This is just the way it’s always going to be in my life. And I’m just the idiot who thought that maybe, just maybe my life could be something different. I should have ended it when I had the courage to do so.

Hi everyone!
My name is Johan, I'm a university of applied sciences professor from the Netherlands specialized in engineering mechanics, offshore wind and energy transition.
I've always dreamt of writing my own mechanics book. Roughly a year ago I finally started building it. Yesterday I launched the alpha-2 version of my website. This version contains the first usable component for you students: a online statics solver.
In the future i hope to set up this website as a SaaS where students can buy a monthly subscription which gives access to the solver, the (interactive) book, exercises and hopefully a LLM 'AI' teacher that will assist visitors with engineering mechanics.
My goal is to use all the amazing web technologies to take learning engineering to the 21st century. Most teaching is currently done from books, presentations an videos, which really is a imperfect one sided transfer of knowledge.
I'd like to share this platform with you all. I built the whole website on my own and am looking for feedback.
In the future I hope to expand the platform to a whole online learning environment for engineering mechanics. I hope this will boost the number of engineers that will choose the field of structural mechanics. The field is in dire need for good people to build the constructions of the energy transition.
Have a look and enjoy!
Please note for security reasons i have limited access to the website to only allow connections from europe, us and canada.
Youtube intro video: https://youtu.be/zjFXntMJtgg <--video dubbed in english from dutch Youtube website demo: https://youtu.be/cKcU63uYj8E Youtube solver demo: https://youtu.be/DMxNW9SshDc The website: www.mecbrain.com
Enjoy! I hope you like it! I poured a lot of energy and passion into this!
Kind regards,
Johan

Finished my latest build, still tweaking here and there but mostly happy with it. It's on the plot NW of Brighthaven, and currently has about 725 tiles. Might have gone a bit overboard there....
I'm running my own private server so various limits have been increased; total tiles, height, etc.
You can see a ton of pics HERE.
Used admin commands to clip stuff into stuff. You can do some cool things like:
Place a fountain where it normally wouldn't go, and put a tree inside it
Put furniture under the pergola's, as it should
Put a pergola where it doesn't want to be, and connect a garden fence to it
Make a nice lighted centerpiece for your tables
Finally connect those damn hedges as they should
Put a working garden fence in the hedge 'door' where it belongs
This one is subtle but put a brazier inside the waypoint gargoyles to make 'em creepier
Park statues inside lights, or lights inside statues, for cool effects
Put stuff on tables, combine items, have gargoyles peek out of walls, etc
Combine a pillar, 4 fireplaces, and 4 gargoyles to make a neat furnace for your boiler room
Have the smoke stacks outside of the walls
Put a bigass fountain in the walls of your dining room to make it even more ostentatiouser
Any many more...
How to do that in case people are interested:

1. You need to be able to use the 'adminauth' command in the console to give yourself the admin rights. If you're running your own server you probably already know how to do this. I don't know how this works in the private game options.
2. Enable observer mode by typing 'toggleObserver 2'. This lets your character clip into objects if needed. You can disable it by typing 'toggleObserver 0'.
3. Place the item you want to move somewhere nearby, in the orientation/rotation you want it.
4. Move your char to the exact center of the spot where you want to move the item.
5. Place your cursor over the item you want to move and type 'teleport ClosestUnitToCursor Self'. This will move the item closest to your mouse cursor to your exact location, clipping into whatever is there.

Getting things in the exact spot can be a bit tricky but there's a few tricks you can use to make it easier by binding the commands to keys:

console.bind c teleport ClosestUnitToCursor Self console.bind i toggleObserver 0 console.bind o toggleObserver 2 

This will bind the c key to the teleport command. The i key to normal no-clipping mode, and the o key to clipping mode. Use whichever keys you find handy. Hit o to go stand in the spot, hover over the item that needs moving, hit c. If the location is off enable build mode and move the item back, move your char a bit, and teleport it again. It can take a couple of tries.
Be careful because the teleport command will happily move whatever it thinks you selected. It'll yoink a growing plot out from under a flower, or grab a wall-fixed light from 3 floors over. There's no undo-button so you'll have to go fix it yourself :)
Note that you can move a lot of stuff, but not everything. Walls, windows, doorways, stairs, carpets,etc cannot be moved. Neither can anything that goes flush on a wall, like vegetation.
The big fountain in particular has a rather large invisible hitbox above it; so if you move it too far under stairs or whatever it could block off the stairs with an invisible wall.
Note that you can't disassemble objects, nor shapeshift, while you're in the clipping mode.
Have fun clipping stuff into other stuff!

Hi there!
I’d love for some critiques on my blurb. I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around if this is a good blurb or not.
Adult fantasy romance with dragons. Looking forward to your thoughts!
Possession of dragon contraband in the Arterian kingdom is a sure way to a brutal execution. Any sort of sympathy for the vicious creatures can mean life or death for thousands of innocents – or so the King says.
When twenty-two-year-old Katerina Blackwind finds a dragon egg buried in her father’s grave, she begins to question all the things she thought she knew. Her mother tasks her with returning the forbidden dragon hatchling north to the secretive Dragon Lands: where dragons roam free and a rebellion group resides.
But she can’t do it on her own. And she knows there’s only one person she can truly trust – her old flame and current captain of the military, Cole Ashbourne.
Betrayal lurks at every turn.
And Kat is left to question everything she thought she knew about dragons, her family, love, and the kingdom. Will she uncover secrets that bind dragons and humans? Or fall victim to conspiracies that span generations?

Hi guys I'm a tenant and after some advice on my rights here.
I rent a flat through an estate agents, other tenants have had constant issues in the building but we've been fortunate we haven't really had massive issues until recently. First off when we first moved in we didn't receive any paperwork other than the tenancy agreement so no how to rent or enegery certificates, inventory etc. I wasn't too worried about this because I've made my own inventory to cover my ass when he didn't send one over. He also authorized pets in the property but this isn't in writing either but I don't really want to bring this up because I feel it will potentially cause hassle with nothing in writing.
However, my main issue is there's been a few times over the last year where he's knocked on the door to ask if certain things were working he's had keys in his hands both times and I've always been skeptical he was just going to come in but put it to the back of my mind. However, today and yesterday we were due a fire check that we got told about via a vote in the communal area, that's fine all good because we managed to get time off work and plenty of notice/we were informed someone would need to enter. However, they didn't show up. I couldn't get hold of the EA (constant theme) so I resorted to calling the fire department carrying out checks who informed me that they had to reschedule to tomorrow as they couldn't access the property through the main door as the EA didn't give them keys and they've rescheduled to tomorrow morning and the EA was going to allow them access to all flats! Nobody has received any notice regarding this. The guy took my number and said he will keep me updated as he doesn't feel comfortable entering flats without permission as we weren't informed.
What are my rights regarding all of this? I have this worry that he's been in a few times without permission and just not said anything. He seems to evict people in the building that stand up to him and I can't afford this because of the current rental prices.
I am so stressed out and I don't feel comfortable in my home anymore.
I just want to add repairs are never carried out really to the point where tenants fix stuff themselves if they can. We once went without water for over a week in the whole building and it only got fixed when a large number of tenants threatened court action. I haven't really gotten involved in any of this because I just want an easy life but I can't deal with the thought of someone entering a place I'm living in at any time & I don't want to face eviction if I report it and the name comes back to me.

I've been thinking about forgiveness for a long, long time.
I've come to realize, it's a more personal choice for your own wellbeing than anything. It doesn't mean you condone someone's actions. Just that you stop feeling angry and resentful for them.
I do not believe it was right for you to speak to me on a dating app for six months, and in the end, reject me for three reasons you could have found out either by asking, or by looking at my responses to the OkCupid questions. Because I'm difficult to talk to. Because I'm not close with my family. Because I haven't dated before. All of these were in my profile. Dragging things out only leads to heartbreak.
I don't believe you should have waited so long to meet in person. I asked you on a date a month after talking. At first, you lied to me by saying you were busy, and when I asked about your schedule, you told the truth that you weren't ready. I was more patient with you than any self respecting man should be.
I believe you should have started more conversations. I've spoken to several autistic girls. They might eventually ghost me, but they put in the effort to keep a conversation going. It was unfair of you to put that weight entirely on me, and then judge me for being hard to talk to. Letting me message you, responding a couple times, then going silent for a week, isn't something that anyone else has thought it was okay to do. I can't build to bigger, more interesting conversations if you don't respond.
I believe you should have been on time for VC where we talked about OkCupid questions. You told your friends that we didn't have a scheduled time, but that was a lie. You knew about the time we set, because you messaged me at exactly 7, saying that you're going to be late because you're playing Zelda. Again, something that no self respecting man should have had to deal with.
I believe that you should have told me about the lewds early on. You told your friends that I implied that you have to do it "immediately", but that's another lie. I said well before six months. This is important information in dating, as important as any of the other basic information on a dating profile. My reaction to it was fine. I said that it hurt me to see, but I did not ask you to stop. I set my boundary that I just didn't want you to do anything too explicit. That should have been the end of the conversation.
I did not do anything wrong by asking for another chance. And your response of insulting me before blocking me without so much as a conversation was entirely inappropriate. I am more than capable of staying friends with someone I have feelings for. And I have more experience than you in handling it from the other end in a healthy way. Instead, you felt the need to scar me.
I've done my apologizing for my actions after that. I've suffered enough from the guilt and shame. And I'm finally ready to forgive myself. Even if I don't condone your actions... I think I'm ready to forgive you too. I sincerely hope that you can reflect on the things I've mentioned here and build a healthy relationship with someone moving forward. But this post is for me. I hope that with it, I can let go of my resentment and finally start to heal. As always, I wish you the best.