Ma bete ki chudai hindi
Aalis na ako ngayong araw.
2024.05.22 00:17 boldgerm Aalis na ako ngayong araw.
Last night, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. Petty fight over food that just went south that quick. Ng wala ako. Nagbasag siya ng plato, nagbasag siya ng upuan. Nagtapon siya ng gamit na bigay ko sa kanya at pinag pagudan ko.
I have been exhaused these past few months. Talagang I was at my emptiest. I was hallow inside and was faking smiles and laughs. I know I sound like I pitty myself, but am not. In fact, I know we are in the same situation. But I know I have been present for her. I've supported hr decisions, tried to provide her needs, and small wants. She can support herself but ther came a point that I had to help out, but I dont want to dwell on that kasi hindi naman ako nagbibilang. Ako, I felt like I was being pushed further, maski pagod na ako, I felt like I was being motivated move even further, without rest, maski limit na yung pagod ko. I'm paying a loan that both of us took para sa small investment sana namin around 170k including interest. Around 14k monthly. May loans din ako in addition to that na nasa 6k monthly and binabayaran ko. Over all, nasa halos 20k yung loans na binabayaran ko mothly that was used for our investment. May personal loans din ako na nasa around 6k ma binabayaran ko din buwan buwan. Aside from that, I have been paying the rent, the bills, may pamangkin akong sinusuportahan sa college, my family and our daily expenses. But this isn't about money kasi, kahit na mahirap, sa totoo lang, kinakaya ko naman. Nakakapagod lang. At yun sana ang hanap ko- comfort. Yung bahay na walang stress kasi pagod na ako eh.
So kahapon kulang ako ng tulog. Nauna akong nagising para mag work. Pagkagising niya, nagalit siya sakin kasi hindi ako nakabili ng food. I calmly asked kung ano gusto niya, kasi kako di ako sure baka hindi niya din kainin ang binili ko. She was saying all these things until a certain point na tinawag niya akong liar. That really triggered me. Is it really that jard to understand me? Mahirap ba maintindihan na napapagod din ako? Na siguro hindi ko ginusto na gawin na lumabas kasi pagod ako o ayaw kong mag doble ng effort kasi pagod ako? It's not like nag lamierda lang ako at wala akong ginawa, diba? So I really gave in to my emotions ang had an episode of rage. I almost hurt her, pero hindi ko naman ginawa. I was shouting and punching the wall. Hanggang ngayon masakit pa kamao ko.
Believe me, it's hard to tell this story. I feel like I'm stripping myself.
This is probably the 5th time, if not more, na nangyari ang ganito, and last night, I felt different. It wasnt me. I realized, hindi pwedeng she has to tip toe around me. I told her I want to end relationship. She was always just saying okay. It's hard to say if she really is, pero I feel like it's the best thing to do. We've been together for 8 years. I was suppose to propose to her this year if not because of the loans and all. We could be getting married next year. But then I had to ask my self, and I have to ask her before I finally decide to let her go- had I asked her, would she have said yes? It makes me teary eyed whenever I ask that question, because, honestly, I don't think she would.
I'm not a good story teller, and my story does not have continuity. People with ADHD might understand, but that's me. Sorry kung di niyo na gets ang story ko. I just needed someone to know how I feel now.
submitted by boldgerm to adviceph [link] [comments]
I have been exhaused these past few months. Talagang I was at my emptiest. I was hallow inside and was faking smiles and laughs. I know I sound like I pitty myself, but am not. In fact, I know we are in the same situation. But I know I have been present for her. I've supported hr decisions, tried to provide her needs, and small wants. She can support herself but ther came a point that I had to help out, but I dont want to dwell on that kasi hindi naman ako nagbibilang. Ako, I felt like I was being pushed further, maski pagod na ako, I felt like I was being motivated move even further, without rest, maski limit na yung pagod ko. I'm paying a loan that both of us took para sa small investment sana namin around 170k including interest. Around 14k monthly. May loans din ako in addition to that na nasa 6k monthly and binabayaran ko. Over all, nasa halos 20k yung loans na binabayaran ko mothly that was used for our investment. May personal loans din ako na nasa around 6k ma binabayaran ko din buwan buwan. Aside from that, I have been paying the rent, the bills, may pamangkin akong sinusuportahan sa college, my family and our daily expenses. But this isn't about money kasi, kahit na mahirap, sa totoo lang, kinakaya ko naman. Nakakapagod lang. At yun sana ang hanap ko- comfort. Yung bahay na walang stress kasi pagod na ako eh.
So kahapon kulang ako ng tulog. Nauna akong nagising para mag work. Pagkagising niya, nagalit siya sakin kasi hindi ako nakabili ng food. I calmly asked kung ano gusto niya, kasi kako di ako sure baka hindi niya din kainin ang binili ko. She was saying all these things until a certain point na tinawag niya akong liar. That really triggered me. Is it really that jard to understand me? Mahirap ba maintindihan na napapagod din ako? Na siguro hindi ko ginusto na gawin na lumabas kasi pagod ako o ayaw kong mag doble ng effort kasi pagod ako? It's not like nag lamierda lang ako at wala akong ginawa, diba? So I really gave in to my emotions ang had an episode of rage. I almost hurt her, pero hindi ko naman ginawa. I was shouting and punching the wall. Hanggang ngayon masakit pa kamao ko.
Believe me, it's hard to tell this story. I feel like I'm stripping myself.
This is probably the 5th time, if not more, na nangyari ang ganito, and last night, I felt different. It wasnt me. I realized, hindi pwedeng she has to tip toe around me. I told her I want to end relationship. She was always just saying okay. It's hard to say if she really is, pero I feel like it's the best thing to do. We've been together for 8 years. I was suppose to propose to her this year if not because of the loans and all. We could be getting married next year. But then I had to ask my self, and I have to ask her before I finally decide to let her go- had I asked her, would she have said yes? It makes me teary eyed whenever I ask that question, because, honestly, I don't think she would.
I'm not a good story teller, and my story does not have continuity. People with ADHD might understand, but that's me. Sorry kung di niyo na gets ang story ko. I just needed someone to know how I feel now.
2024.05.22 00:01 Gossip-Luv2 Retrieved the content of Tweets on SLB's eccentricities - The Mythmaker’s Legacy - Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, I am the Greatest of Them All!
Thanks to Patron Member u/Entharo_entho - Here is the wiped out Tweet retrieved
Context - Wiped out from Internet
In March, I got a chance to work with filmmaker Sanjay Leela Bhansali right after he made Gangubai Kathiawadi, and Alia Bhatt, playing the titular character in the film, retweeted me.
The headline (in my head) was going to be, ‘The Boy From Kamathipura Goes To Bhansali Mandi.’
Then reality struck in April.
One of my closest friends Sweta called me from the Shivapuri National Park near Kathmandu and put me on speaker. Two other friends Mona and Ayush were listening to the WhatsApp call.
‘How’s it going with Bhansu?’ Sweta asked.
‘We are not working together anymore,’ I said.
‘Whaaaaaaaat?’ the three people shrieked, creating a wavy disturbance in audio frequency.
‘Whyyyyy?’ they cried, collectively anguished.
‘He said he is not feeling the vibes.’
‘What?’
‘Vibes,’ I said aloud, causing a seismic tremor in the audio frequency.
‘What vibes?’ Sweta jibed, ‘Maybe he can’t feel the vibrator.’
Laughter upped the vibes.
First, a little context on how I got that far. Check this, this, this & this.
So my tweets were going viral in February-March.
In the second week of March, a woman DM’d me saying she loves the tweets. I said thank you. She said she works at Bhansali Productions.
Whoopsie Daisy!
I asked if I could be a part of the production. She checked with SLB and team. He said he wants to meet now.
NOW!
How?
I was in Calcutta.
I called an actor friend in Bombay and told him about it.
“They will book your tickets and put you up in 5-star,” he said, “Like Hollywood.”
“This is Bhansaliwood,” I said, “Yahan dhanda hamesha manda hai.”
I flew (on my own expense) and met him.
I was ‘prepared’ by his team for the meeting with His High and Mightiness.
I was told:
I sashayed in a brown kurta and white linen trousers. Please see Madhuri Dixit-Nene’s brown ghagra for aesthetic reference I used from my very limited wardrobe of the only kurta I had at the time. By the way, the chorus sings ‘Jhanak Jhanak Payal Baaje,’ aesthetically referencing you know what, right?
He was lunching with his minions (strictly calling them minions from his pov) when I arrived in his pristine white dining hall in a building called Magnum Opus. Where else should he reside, no? Both his house, and his office (where I was ‘prepared’ earlier) were tastefully done in creamy white.
It was, as I said to my friend later, like walking into a cumulus cloud, or like sitting on his favourite singer Lata Mangeshkar’s lap. Calm, serene and quite surreal. I was inside his snow globe. Violins from a Bach concerto (in my head) were replaced with say Madan Mohan’s doleful rendition of ‘Mai ri main ka se kahoon peedh apne jiya ki.’ (Side effect of writing this on Mother’s Day.)
I look for books when I enter a house for signs of intelligent life. There were lots of lamps and candelabras but where were the stacks of books they were perched on? The aesthetic was high on film set disposable kitsch. I stared into a cumulative void.
The minions were intensely debating Darjeeling momos. What’s that? I spent my childhood there. Never heard of this GI tag!
SLB relished his meal and said, “I want puranpoli today.”
Puranpoli appeared not out of thin air, but a house-help flipping wishes instantly on a griddle on the fifth floor. We were on the first floor. Although the puranpoli is shaped like a flying saucer, it doesn’t fly, perhaps burdened by the weight of excess ghee and crowd-pleasing expectation. It does, however, reach SLB’s plate at the speed of light.
‘Give him some,’ he asked a minion to serve me while I waited on the sofa.
‘I’ve had lunch, thank you,’ I said, trying to behave. The plate arrived. I took a mousy bite to exhibit my failing attempt to transform into a champion minion.
When he came to chat, he noticed the unfinished food and gently reminded me how there were days he went hungry. I should have rolled my eyes for my own lean days.
‘One should not waste food,’ he said.
‘I don’t,’ I said, ‘I was going to parcel it home in a doggy bag.’
Hearing the word doggy, his well-behaved dog came over to inspect me.
He observed me. I petted her perfunctorily. Am a cat person. Stereotypical writer stuff — allergic to undesired petting and attention.
‘So, what have you done?’ he asked, sitting on a sort of empire-style bergere chair. Full marks for faux-ornate.
‘A novel, some writing for a series,’ I said nervously, dismissively.
‘Anything I might have seen?’ he asked.
‘No, not worthwhile.’
‘Are you interested in direction also?’
‘No, am not delusional.’
A moment passed. I might have displayed an errant repartee.
‘I mean, I can only write, or am trying to,’ I said. L’esprit de l’escalier.
He gave me a spiel on writing, how screenplay is an art not many understand, etc, et cetera.
I nodded to make his voice disappear.
‘What are you writing now?’
I showed him the cover of my new book, The Last Courtesan, featuring my mother, on my phone.
‘Oh, this is so fascinating,’ he said.
He spoke rapturously about Calcutta’s great food and colonial architecture when I mentioned growing up in Bowbazar kothas. If you watch any of his interviews now on YouTube you will realise he only speaks in raptures. He’s always explaining things like an impassioned conductor at a dime-store opera. It can exhaust the boorish audience immediately. He spoke about living in the Kamathipura area as a child when I said I had lived there. The mythmaker was interested in exoticising his own legend as an ‘outsider’.
‘But how will you work here if your mother is in Calcutta?’ he said, ‘I am a maa-ka-bhakt.’
Everything is about him or his mother. I have reached that stage too, though only by circumstances unavoidable.
‘Actually it was my mother who asked me to come here. I told her it would only work out if you understand that I will have to vacillate between the two cities initially. Jaise Sanjay ki Leela hai, waise meri Rekha.’
Corny dialogue, but worked. No one calls him by his first name, except perhaps his own mother. He is sir for everyone.
‘If I am speaking to you for so long means I like you,’ he said. ‘Otherwise, I would have asked you to leave long ago.’
Barely five minutes into the conversation, he asked me to return to his office and inform his team that I was going to be a part of his writer’s room.
I went back to his office and read a script. This is the part I cannot mention. His legal team sits in the adjacent room.
I flew to Calcutta and was to return after a week. I had to make arrangements for my mother’s tri-weekly dialysis sessions at a nearby hospital, figure out a tiffin-delivery service for her, find a house help (she sent four nurses scurrying in the past), all of which is a bit of a task in this retrograde city.
Remember the woman who had DM’d me about my tweets? She messaged. She had met SLB after my meeting. He said this about me: ‘What a wonderful find. That boy has so much potential and is talented. Most importantly, he is sensitive.’
I told her I’d get this engraved on my tombstone.
Like how he wants to take Alia Bhatt’s golchakkar in Dholida to his grave.
“It’s a shot that I will take to my grave. If there’s any shot that I want to be played when I breathe my last, it would be Alia doing that shot. It is the best thing I have seen an actor do in a very long, long time.”
I was only emulating the high priest of hyperbole in my tombstone comment. Perhaps I was regressing into a minion.
I had only managed a few tasks for mother when I was back in Bombay. It worried me that the old, frail woman with shaky limbs and slurred speech was trying to be brave to send me to work. I hadn’t worked since the pandemic; she was in and out of hospitals so frequently that I had surrendered the thought of getting another job ever again. Taking care of her was my full-time job.
The first day in his office was to chill in my new, aesthetically pleasing kurta I had shopped for in Gariahat. There was a security camera in every corner that was apparently accessible on his phone. My skin tingled with this information. Chilled. He was at home. Probably watching. That’s a great way to create a myth.
The next day, there were more minions on the lunch table in his first floor apartment. The magically appearing steamy and fragrant sheera was delicious. A minion deemed it the best sheera in the city. I nodded to make that statement evaporate.
A courier boy interrupted for a document signature. SLB flared at a spelling mistake in the document papers.
‘Go wash your face and come back,’ he yelled at the young man.
The minions at the table laughed nervously. I so wished I was wearing a mask to cover my surprise emoji face.
The minions on the table were writers and assistant directors.
‘Dastavez,’ SLB said, ‘would that be correct to use?’
‘Kaaghzaat,’ the minion replied.
‘Kaaghzaat is paper, dastavez is document,’ said the second minion.
‘You always mislead me,’ SLB sternly reprimanded the first minion. ‘Don’t ever do that again.’
Only that minion tried to laugh, offering an apology. He shut the minion down.
My mask, my mask emoji face.
A third minion was sulking in a corner before I arrived for the writing session. This minion had reportedly offered a script suggestion, which he disliked and barked down. I liked this minion the most. Relatable.
A faint noise of a person running or perhaps just a rumbling sound from somewhere outside interrupted the room. He looked up at the ceiling and said, ‘No one lives there. Am certain it is a ghost. I hear running sounds all the time. I have heard sounds of furniture being dragged.’
I wondered if he actually believed in half the things he uttered, or was he just saying it to create enigma about himself. Mythical thoughts certainly kept him preoccupied.
Reality bored him. SLB had nothing good to say about the ‘current plague’ of South Indian films upsetting the Bollywood cartel. He compared them to a circus. He wasn’t kind to the actors he had worked with in his last film. He cracked lame jokes about everyone and everything. The minions laughed and kept him busy. I chuckled a few times to blend in. The mythmaker revelled in his prophesies about the impending doom of charlatans with no aesthetics: just crass, commercial peddlers pimping art. It was all said to amuse and bemuse while he fussed over the yellow shade of fabric from several swatches.
When he left for his music session, the minions bitched him out, and how! All the horror stories I had heard over the years about his moods, behaviour, language and violent temper were true. How else will he create myth about himself as a maestro? The Glomar response. Let the plebs indulge in hearsay. I will neither confirm nor deny. The minions sang effigy songs in happy tunes, if I may stretch this part a bit like his penchant for high camp.
That night, when I went to my actor friend’s house, where I was temporarily staying, I said to him, ‘I don’t think I will last a week there.’
I was rattled by how he spoke to the courier boy and the minions, with no filter. Well, at least it was clear he had no tact, endearing as that might be of a ‘genius’ if one compromises with his erratic behaviour. The CEO of his company does it beautifully and advises to develop a ‘thick hide’ around him. Cows, essentially.
Verve
The words genius, great, master, maverick, were so loosely bandied by his office staff even in his absence that I was tempted to add auteur, if they could spell or pronounce it. They worked in perpetual fear of him turning up at any hour and checking on their tidiness. A minion whined she wasn’t dressed appropriately for his surprise visit. Once, he even cut pay for unscheduled leave, said another minion. A minion narrated a shot he copied from a photographer in Gangubai Kathiawadi. Another minion recounted how he made her cry on shoot by screaming at her for a silly mistake. Minions couldn’t leave the office till his evenings were scheduled. It was a well-paying job so long as they did not have to see ‘chacha’s’ face and only applaud his cinematic sorcery.
His office team would assign me desk-work and warn me not to inform him about it.
‘What am I supposed to say if he asks?’
‘Make up something,’ I was told.
‘Why should I?’
‘You will slowly understand,’ I was told.
His team of assistants would sneak around me. I didn’t know who was reporting what back to him. He would interrogate the management team. They would lash out at me for informing the assistants. The management wanted to control me a certain way because ‘sir’ does not need to know everything. It was quite a guessing game. He had created an ecosystem of complete chaos and loved the hubbub. New people were hired for him to use the ‘new energy’ to rekindle the ‘old energy’ that needed to be reminded it could be snuffed out and replaced. He thrived on confusion because it all boiled down to him to sort out the mess. He was the provider so long as the minions ingratiated and served their grand master.
One time he called me upstairs, what his CEO called the god’s chamber aka the Shahenshah’s durbar: his office on the seventh floor. Walls were lined with giant posters of his films. We minions sat on the fifth floor. I was of course by now a week old in the toady mill. On the seventh floor, production team members, set designer, director assistant, young people sat on the floor, armed with notebooks and laptops, alert and sugar-tongued. He sat on a throne and dictated each one about their duty. A masseur massaged his leg. He asked me what I thought of a script. I said it was lovely. He asked me to elaborate. I said I liked a character’s resolve. He denied it was written. I said that’s my interpretation. A minion promptly backed me.
‘What changes do you suggest?’ he asked.
‘We should sit on it collectively and decide,’ I said.
He mumbled something. My suggestion was dismissed. I was dismissed. I bowed out. A minion whispered to me, ‘We all walk on eggshells around him.’ I had to be a chicken in a coop I suppose.
Another time he dismissed my suggestion for a scene saying, ‘That’s not how art is made.’ I had referenced a scene from Bandit Queen to illustrate my point. Just like his entire oeuvre is homage to a classic. How else does he make his art?
Allow me to illustrate with a frame from his first film Khamoshi: The Musical. The second image is from Pakeezah.
Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam references Red Beard, Woh 7 Din.
Devdas references Pakeezah more than once.
Black references The Miracle Worker.
Saawariya references Pyaasa, Awaara.
Guzaarish references Whose Life Is It Anyway?
Goliyon Ki Raasleela: Ram-Leela references Franco Zeffirelli’s Romeo and Juliet, West Side Story.
Bajirao Mastani references Mughal-E-Azam.
Padmaavat references Mirch Masala.
Gangubai Kathiawadi, let’s give him the benefit of doubt is all his own, original artistry.
The American filmmaker Jim Jarmusch once meta quoted the French filmmaker Jean-Luc Godard when he said:
“Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, street signs, trees, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows. Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic. Authenticity is invaluable; originality is non-existent. And don’t bother concealing your thievery — celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case, always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: “It’s not where you take things from — it’s where you take them to.”
SLB believes he takes art and betters it, removing the grubby coat of slime from the sublime, often not concerned with acknowledging the source. He is a master’s master, elevating it to an otherworldly experience, the creator of a mythoverse.
He asked me to rewrite a scene I didn’t agree with. He banged the script folders on the table like a petulant, little child. I watched his posture change into a frump. Tiger Shroff’s ‘Bacchi ho kya,’ dialogue comes to mind.
‘You are talking like those critics who find fault but don’t know how to write. They should write the film,’ he said.
That argument will never make sense to me but since I write movies now and not just about them, I rewrote the scene in half an hour and showed it to him. He found it rubbish.
I was not called to the writer’s room for a week.
His CEO said I should go to his house; hang around him, like the other assistants whose only purpose in life is to feed his ego. We are slaves to his vision, she said. She thought I was a better writer than the team he had assembled. ‘From whatever I read, only three lines of your work on social media, I could sense it,’ she said.
Either she was encouraging, or bluffing with a perfectly Zen face. From the hundreds of Ganesh idols stacked in her room, it was clear she wasn’t a reader. She was good at reading numbers, data, and stats. She would sense a sign if one of the metal idols sucked milk from a spoon on the day she enquired about box –office figures.
There was more than one right-wing hardliner in his office. Secular staff was invisible. A pretty minion in baby pink t-shirt, whose main grouse was that another minion called him a Barbie doll, said he was happy with the Modi government building roads in his home state Bihar. Another minion countered him by asking: What about the persecution of minorities by the same government? The pretty minion said he didn’t care for that. He was assisting ‘sir’ because he wanted to be an actor. Which lead me to wonder how many Muslim actors has this production worked with? Silly of me to think, right? Given that I myself don’t use my Muslim surname. I’ve now successfully planted a myth in your head. That’s how it works.
In the time that I was in Versova during my brief stint at Bhansali Productions, I met several people with their own SLB horror story. A producer said, ‘He is a difficult man but life changes for good after you work with him. Some people want to go through hell first. Life bann jaati hai.’ I didn’t understand why purgatory was necessary. Another former assistant said, ‘When you work with the worst (SLB) and the best (KJO), you are ready for the rest.’
A young woman gave him a thesis she wrote on his films. He asked her to write a book on her. She said she wanted to assist as a director. She never heard from him. A filmmaker said SLB was too friendly with another assistant, suggesting intimacy. A writer wasn’t given credit in a film.
Another writer was promised his script will be turned into a film but it never took off and now he feels his life has been ruined. A young filmmaker’s debut movie SLB produced was delayed, not promoted, and called ‘kachra’ to his face.
The young man said SLB is sexist, homophobe, classist, fat shamer, emotional abuser, and a body shamer. “He is a joyless pit of darkness where happiness goes to die. And those are the nicest words I can think of to describe him,” he said. Another filmmaker said a choreographer was in a relationship with SLB and wanted to marry him but he wouldn’t even touch her, a hotly discussed conversation amongst his minions.
Everything sounds hokum. A successful man is likely to upset a few. The few will talk. Their words may ring true through a gossamer veil of implausibility. Myths magnifying his persona.
There are too many myths about his personal life, aroused by his silence on the subject but all too obvious in his work. When people want to confirm with me, I am equally appalled at their lack of aesthetics. Like the great reader of curtains, Edgar Allan Poe, you only have to look at SLB’s use of billowy curtains in films to guess.
Hope you get the drift, or draft, hawa ka jhonka! By the way, am digressing now, is the weirdly named character Sameer Rosselline in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam the first mainstream Hindi film hero to pass wind? The ruffled curtains are first to be cautioned though.
Unlike most people willing to swallow their pride to work with SLB, few like the eponymous Gangubai character choose izzat. The house-help employed in my actor friend’s house was asked to work as a cook in his house. When she heard the whimsy, dessert-craving demands, she declined the offer. I identify with her no-nonsense style.
In November 2021, a filmmaker read a film script I wrote and said, ‘This is SLB territory. Only he can make it. It is the modern love-story he has been wanting to make for a long time.’
‘Are you sure?’ I asked, somewhat flattered but also bewildered.
‘Yes, we just have to change the setting from Calcutta-Bombay to Calcutta-New York. It is what he has been trying to crack. I’ll get him to read it.’
I never spoke to SLB about my script. I did not want to look like a schemer. I had only got a chance because of my mother’s story. I had come to write courtesan songs. Hindi films are recognised by their songs. His films have show tunes that live on long after the sequins and mirrors reflect a decadent style. He employs the old-fashioned method of making Hindi films, which is to stitch scenes around a song, not the other way round. And when you glean your references from the best of classical melodies, how can you falter?
My own SLB story is that after watching Saawariya in 2007, I wrote a few songs, moved to Bombay, lived in Versova, close to Magnum Opus, and hoped to meet him, but made no effort even though I came in close contact with people who worked directly with him. I never requested for a meeting. Over the years, I too had heard a few horror stories about him. I only believe in what I see. I waited when he would call for me, my work would have to speak for itself.
A day before Good Friday, his CEO sat me down and said it’s not working out.
There’s a mythical story of how Lata Mangeshkar was on her way to record a song for SLB but the heavens poured and she had to turn her car back. A typical SLB frame of hope and hopelessness.
Never work with your idols. You’ll have a better story to imagine and create myths.
I was so relieved to leave. I hadn’t got a moment to read, or write, let alone think since I got here. Why I wanted to work with SLB was to not believe in hearsay. I will either confirm or deny.
‘Great,’ I said, ‘everyone deserves an off on Good Friday.’
The office was unsure about public holidays. SLB’s mood dictated the calendar.
Before returning to Calcutta, I met a friend entrenched in the film business.
When she heard of the fiasco, she said, ‘I’ve heard he is very anal, is he?’
The vibrator jokes never stop.
submitted by Gossip-Luv2 to BollyBlindsNGossip [link] [comments]
Context - Wiped out from Internet
In March, I got a chance to work with filmmaker Sanjay Leela Bhansali right after he made Gangubai Kathiawadi, and Alia Bhatt, playing the titular character in the film, retweeted me.
The headline (in my head) was going to be, ‘The Boy From Kamathipura Goes To Bhansali Mandi.’
Then reality struck in April.
One of my closest friends Sweta called me from the Shivapuri National Park near Kathmandu and put me on speaker. Two other friends Mona and Ayush were listening to the WhatsApp call.
‘How’s it going with Bhansu?’ Sweta asked.
‘We are not working together anymore,’ I said.
‘Whaaaaaaaat?’ the three people shrieked, creating a wavy disturbance in audio frequency.
‘Whyyyyy?’ they cried, collectively anguished.
‘He said he is not feeling the vibes.’
‘What?’
‘Vibes,’ I said aloud, causing a seismic tremor in the audio frequency.
‘What vibes?’ Sweta jibed, ‘Maybe he can’t feel the vibrator.’
Laughter upped the vibes.
First, a little context on how I got that far. Check this, this, this & this.
So my tweets were going viral in February-March.
In the second week of March, a woman DM’d me saying she loves the tweets. I said thank you. She said she works at Bhansali Productions.
Whoopsie Daisy!
I asked if I could be a part of the production. She checked with SLB and team. He said he wants to meet now.
NOW!
How?
I was in Calcutta.
I called an actor friend in Bombay and told him about it.
“They will book your tickets and put you up in 5-star,” he said, “Like Hollywood.”
“This is Bhansaliwood,” I said, “Yahan dhanda hamesha manda hai.”
I flew (on my own expense) and met him.
I was ‘prepared’ by his team for the meeting with His High and Mightiness.
I was told:
Arre, then what do I say?
I sashayed in a brown kurta and white linen trousers. Please see Madhuri Dixit-Nene’s brown ghagra for aesthetic reference I used from my very limited wardrobe of the only kurta I had at the time. By the way, the chorus sings ‘Jhanak Jhanak Payal Baaje,’ aesthetically referencing you know what, right?
He was lunching with his minions (strictly calling them minions from his pov) when I arrived in his pristine white dining hall in a building called Magnum Opus. Where else should he reside, no? Both his house, and his office (where I was ‘prepared’ earlier) were tastefully done in creamy white.
It was, as I said to my friend later, like walking into a cumulus cloud, or like sitting on his favourite singer Lata Mangeshkar’s lap. Calm, serene and quite surreal. I was inside his snow globe. Violins from a Bach concerto (in my head) were replaced with say Madan Mohan’s doleful rendition of ‘Mai ri main ka se kahoon peedh apne jiya ki.’ (Side effect of writing this on Mother’s Day.)
I look for books when I enter a house for signs of intelligent life. There were lots of lamps and candelabras but where were the stacks of books they were perched on? The aesthetic was high on film set disposable kitsch. I stared into a cumulative void.
The minions were intensely debating Darjeeling momos. What’s that? I spent my childhood there. Never heard of this GI tag!
SLB relished his meal and said, “I want puranpoli today.”
Puranpoli appeared not out of thin air, but a house-help flipping wishes instantly on a griddle on the fifth floor. We were on the first floor. Although the puranpoli is shaped like a flying saucer, it doesn’t fly, perhaps burdened by the weight of excess ghee and crowd-pleasing expectation. It does, however, reach SLB’s plate at the speed of light.
‘Give him some,’ he asked a minion to serve me while I waited on the sofa.
‘I’ve had lunch, thank you,’ I said, trying to behave. The plate arrived. I took a mousy bite to exhibit my failing attempt to transform into a champion minion.
When he came to chat, he noticed the unfinished food and gently reminded me how there were days he went hungry. I should have rolled my eyes for my own lean days.
‘One should not waste food,’ he said.
‘I don’t,’ I said, ‘I was going to parcel it home in a doggy bag.’
Hearing the word doggy, his well-behaved dog came over to inspect me.
He observed me. I petted her perfunctorily. Am a cat person. Stereotypical writer stuff — allergic to undesired petting and attention.
‘So, what have you done?’ he asked, sitting on a sort of empire-style bergere chair. Full marks for faux-ornate.
‘A novel, some writing for a series,’ I said nervously, dismissively.
‘Anything I might have seen?’ he asked.
‘No, not worthwhile.’
‘Are you interested in direction also?’
‘No, am not delusional.’
A moment passed. I might have displayed an errant repartee.
‘I mean, I can only write, or am trying to,’ I said. L’esprit de l’escalier.
He gave me a spiel on writing, how screenplay is an art not many understand, etc, et cetera.
I nodded to make his voice disappear.
‘What are you writing now?’
I showed him the cover of my new book, The Last Courtesan, featuring my mother, on my phone.
‘Oh, this is so fascinating,’ he said.
He spoke rapturously about Calcutta’s great food and colonial architecture when I mentioned growing up in Bowbazar kothas. If you watch any of his interviews now on YouTube you will realise he only speaks in raptures. He’s always explaining things like an impassioned conductor at a dime-store opera. It can exhaust the boorish audience immediately. He spoke about living in the Kamathipura area as a child when I said I had lived there. The mythmaker was interested in exoticising his own legend as an ‘outsider’.
‘But how will you work here if your mother is in Calcutta?’ he said, ‘I am a maa-ka-bhakt.’
Everything is about him or his mother. I have reached that stage too, though only by circumstances unavoidable.
‘Actually it was my mother who asked me to come here. I told her it would only work out if you understand that I will have to vacillate between the two cities initially. Jaise Sanjay ki Leela hai, waise meri Rekha.’
Corny dialogue, but worked. No one calls him by his first name, except perhaps his own mother. He is sir for everyone.
‘If I am speaking to you for so long means I like you,’ he said. ‘Otherwise, I would have asked you to leave long ago.’
Barely five minutes into the conversation, he asked me to return to his office and inform his team that I was going to be a part of his writer’s room.
I went back to his office and read a script. This is the part I cannot mention. His legal team sits in the adjacent room.
I flew to Calcutta and was to return after a week. I had to make arrangements for my mother’s tri-weekly dialysis sessions at a nearby hospital, figure out a tiffin-delivery service for her, find a house help (she sent four nurses scurrying in the past), all of which is a bit of a task in this retrograde city.
Remember the woman who had DM’d me about my tweets? She messaged. She had met SLB after my meeting. He said this about me: ‘What a wonderful find. That boy has so much potential and is talented. Most importantly, he is sensitive.’
I told her I’d get this engraved on my tombstone.
Like how he wants to take Alia Bhatt’s golchakkar in Dholida to his grave.
“It’s a shot that I will take to my grave. If there’s any shot that I want to be played when I breathe my last, it would be Alia doing that shot. It is the best thing I have seen an actor do in a very long, long time.”
I was only emulating the high priest of hyperbole in my tombstone comment. Perhaps I was regressing into a minion.
I had only managed a few tasks for mother when I was back in Bombay. It worried me that the old, frail woman with shaky limbs and slurred speech was trying to be brave to send me to work. I hadn’t worked since the pandemic; she was in and out of hospitals so frequently that I had surrendered the thought of getting another job ever again. Taking care of her was my full-time job.
The first day in his office was to chill in my new, aesthetically pleasing kurta I had shopped for in Gariahat. There was a security camera in every corner that was apparently accessible on his phone. My skin tingled with this information. Chilled. He was at home. Probably watching. That’s a great way to create a myth.
The next day, there were more minions on the lunch table in his first floor apartment. The magically appearing steamy and fragrant sheera was delicious. A minion deemed it the best sheera in the city. I nodded to make that statement evaporate.
A courier boy interrupted for a document signature. SLB flared at a spelling mistake in the document papers.
‘Go wash your face and come back,’ he yelled at the young man.
The minions at the table laughed nervously. I so wished I was wearing a mask to cover my surprise emoji face.
The minions on the table were writers and assistant directors.
‘Dastavez,’ SLB said, ‘would that be correct to use?’
‘Kaaghzaat,’ the minion replied.
‘Kaaghzaat is paper, dastavez is document,’ said the second minion.
‘You always mislead me,’ SLB sternly reprimanded the first minion. ‘Don’t ever do that again.’
Only that minion tried to laugh, offering an apology. He shut the minion down.
My mask, my mask emoji face.
A third minion was sulking in a corner before I arrived for the writing session. This minion had reportedly offered a script suggestion, which he disliked and barked down. I liked this minion the most. Relatable.
A faint noise of a person running or perhaps just a rumbling sound from somewhere outside interrupted the room. He looked up at the ceiling and said, ‘No one lives there. Am certain it is a ghost. I hear running sounds all the time. I have heard sounds of furniture being dragged.’
I wondered if he actually believed in half the things he uttered, or was he just saying it to create enigma about himself. Mythical thoughts certainly kept him preoccupied.
Reality bored him. SLB had nothing good to say about the ‘current plague’ of South Indian films upsetting the Bollywood cartel. He compared them to a circus. He wasn’t kind to the actors he had worked with in his last film. He cracked lame jokes about everyone and everything. The minions laughed and kept him busy. I chuckled a few times to blend in. The mythmaker revelled in his prophesies about the impending doom of charlatans with no aesthetics: just crass, commercial peddlers pimping art. It was all said to amuse and bemuse while he fussed over the yellow shade of fabric from several swatches.
When he left for his music session, the minions bitched him out, and how! All the horror stories I had heard over the years about his moods, behaviour, language and violent temper were true. How else will he create myth about himself as a maestro? The Glomar response. Let the plebs indulge in hearsay. I will neither confirm nor deny. The minions sang effigy songs in happy tunes, if I may stretch this part a bit like his penchant for high camp.
That night, when I went to my actor friend’s house, where I was temporarily staying, I said to him, ‘I don’t think I will last a week there.’
I was rattled by how he spoke to the courier boy and the minions, with no filter. Well, at least it was clear he had no tact, endearing as that might be of a ‘genius’ if one compromises with his erratic behaviour. The CEO of his company does it beautifully and advises to develop a ‘thick hide’ around him. Cows, essentially.
Verve
The words genius, great, master, maverick, were so loosely bandied by his office staff even in his absence that I was tempted to add auteur, if they could spell or pronounce it. They worked in perpetual fear of him turning up at any hour and checking on their tidiness. A minion whined she wasn’t dressed appropriately for his surprise visit. Once, he even cut pay for unscheduled leave, said another minion. A minion narrated a shot he copied from a photographer in Gangubai Kathiawadi. Another minion recounted how he made her cry on shoot by screaming at her for a silly mistake. Minions couldn’t leave the office till his evenings were scheduled. It was a well-paying job so long as they did not have to see ‘chacha’s’ face and only applaud his cinematic sorcery.
His office team would assign me desk-work and warn me not to inform him about it.
‘What am I supposed to say if he asks?’
‘Make up something,’ I was told.
‘Why should I?’
‘You will slowly understand,’ I was told.
His team of assistants would sneak around me. I didn’t know who was reporting what back to him. He would interrogate the management team. They would lash out at me for informing the assistants. The management wanted to control me a certain way because ‘sir’ does not need to know everything. It was quite a guessing game. He had created an ecosystem of complete chaos and loved the hubbub. New people were hired for him to use the ‘new energy’ to rekindle the ‘old energy’ that needed to be reminded it could be snuffed out and replaced. He thrived on confusion because it all boiled down to him to sort out the mess. He was the provider so long as the minions ingratiated and served their grand master.
One time he called me upstairs, what his CEO called the god’s chamber aka the Shahenshah’s durbar: his office on the seventh floor. Walls were lined with giant posters of his films. We minions sat on the fifth floor. I was of course by now a week old in the toady mill. On the seventh floor, production team members, set designer, director assistant, young people sat on the floor, armed with notebooks and laptops, alert and sugar-tongued. He sat on a throne and dictated each one about their duty. A masseur massaged his leg. He asked me what I thought of a script. I said it was lovely. He asked me to elaborate. I said I liked a character’s resolve. He denied it was written. I said that’s my interpretation. A minion promptly backed me.
‘What changes do you suggest?’ he asked.
‘We should sit on it collectively and decide,’ I said.
He mumbled something. My suggestion was dismissed. I was dismissed. I bowed out. A minion whispered to me, ‘We all walk on eggshells around him.’ I had to be a chicken in a coop I suppose.
Another time he dismissed my suggestion for a scene saying, ‘That’s not how art is made.’ I had referenced a scene from Bandit Queen to illustrate my point. Just like his entire oeuvre is homage to a classic. How else does he make his art?
Allow me to illustrate with a frame from his first film Khamoshi: The Musical. The second image is from Pakeezah.
Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam references Red Beard, Woh 7 Din.
Devdas references Pakeezah more than once.
Black references The Miracle Worker.
Saawariya references Pyaasa, Awaara.
Guzaarish references Whose Life Is It Anyway?
Goliyon Ki Raasleela: Ram-Leela references Franco Zeffirelli’s Romeo and Juliet, West Side Story.
Bajirao Mastani references Mughal-E-Azam.
Padmaavat references Mirch Masala.
Gangubai Kathiawadi, let’s give him the benefit of doubt is all his own, original artistry.
The American filmmaker Jim Jarmusch once meta quoted the French filmmaker Jean-Luc Godard when he said:
“Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, street signs, trees, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows. Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic. Authenticity is invaluable; originality is non-existent. And don’t bother concealing your thievery — celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case, always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: “It’s not where you take things from — it’s where you take them to.”
SLB believes he takes art and betters it, removing the grubby coat of slime from the sublime, often not concerned with acknowledging the source. He is a master’s master, elevating it to an otherworldly experience, the creator of a mythoverse.
He asked me to rewrite a scene I didn’t agree with. He banged the script folders on the table like a petulant, little child. I watched his posture change into a frump. Tiger Shroff’s ‘Bacchi ho kya,’ dialogue comes to mind.
‘You are talking like those critics who find fault but don’t know how to write. They should write the film,’ he said.
That argument will never make sense to me but since I write movies now and not just about them, I rewrote the scene in half an hour and showed it to him. He found it rubbish.
I was not called to the writer’s room for a week.
His CEO said I should go to his house; hang around him, like the other assistants whose only purpose in life is to feed his ego. We are slaves to his vision, she said. She thought I was a better writer than the team he had assembled. ‘From whatever I read, only three lines of your work on social media, I could sense it,’ she said.
Either she was encouraging, or bluffing with a perfectly Zen face. From the hundreds of Ganesh idols stacked in her room, it was clear she wasn’t a reader. She was good at reading numbers, data, and stats. She would sense a sign if one of the metal idols sucked milk from a spoon on the day she enquired about box –office figures.
There was more than one right-wing hardliner in his office. Secular staff was invisible. A pretty minion in baby pink t-shirt, whose main grouse was that another minion called him a Barbie doll, said he was happy with the Modi government building roads in his home state Bihar. Another minion countered him by asking: What about the persecution of minorities by the same government? The pretty minion said he didn’t care for that. He was assisting ‘sir’ because he wanted to be an actor. Which lead me to wonder how many Muslim actors has this production worked with? Silly of me to think, right? Given that I myself don’t use my Muslim surname. I’ve now successfully planted a myth in your head. That’s how it works.
In the time that I was in Versova during my brief stint at Bhansali Productions, I met several people with their own SLB horror story. A producer said, ‘He is a difficult man but life changes for good after you work with him. Some people want to go through hell first. Life bann jaati hai.’ I didn’t understand why purgatory was necessary. Another former assistant said, ‘When you work with the worst (SLB) and the best (KJO), you are ready for the rest.’
A young woman gave him a thesis she wrote on his films. He asked her to write a book on her. She said she wanted to assist as a director. She never heard from him. A filmmaker said SLB was too friendly with another assistant, suggesting intimacy. A writer wasn’t given credit in a film.
Another writer was promised his script will be turned into a film but it never took off and now he feels his life has been ruined. A young filmmaker’s debut movie SLB produced was delayed, not promoted, and called ‘kachra’ to his face.
The young man said SLB is sexist, homophobe, classist, fat shamer, emotional abuser, and a body shamer. “He is a joyless pit of darkness where happiness goes to die. And those are the nicest words I can think of to describe him,” he said. Another filmmaker said a choreographer was in a relationship with SLB and wanted to marry him but he wouldn’t even touch her, a hotly discussed conversation amongst his minions.
Everything sounds hokum. A successful man is likely to upset a few. The few will talk. Their words may ring true through a gossamer veil of implausibility. Myths magnifying his persona.
There are too many myths about his personal life, aroused by his silence on the subject but all too obvious in his work. When people want to confirm with me, I am equally appalled at their lack of aesthetics. Like the great reader of curtains, Edgar Allan Poe, you only have to look at SLB’s use of billowy curtains in films to guess.
Above stanza, courtesy Poe, poem: The Raven.
Hope you get the drift, or draft, hawa ka jhonka! By the way, am digressing now, is the weirdly named character Sameer Rosselline in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam the first mainstream Hindi film hero to pass wind? The ruffled curtains are first to be cautioned though.
Unlike most people willing to swallow their pride to work with SLB, few like the eponymous Gangubai character choose izzat. The house-help employed in my actor friend’s house was asked to work as a cook in his house. When she heard the whimsy, dessert-craving demands, she declined the offer. I identify with her no-nonsense style.
In November 2021, a filmmaker read a film script I wrote and said, ‘This is SLB territory. Only he can make it. It is the modern love-story he has been wanting to make for a long time.’
‘Are you sure?’ I asked, somewhat flattered but also bewildered.
‘Yes, we just have to change the setting from Calcutta-Bombay to Calcutta-New York. It is what he has been trying to crack. I’ll get him to read it.’
I never spoke to SLB about my script. I did not want to look like a schemer. I had only got a chance because of my mother’s story. I had come to write courtesan songs. Hindi films are recognised by their songs. His films have show tunes that live on long after the sequins and mirrors reflect a decadent style. He employs the old-fashioned method of making Hindi films, which is to stitch scenes around a song, not the other way round. And when you glean your references from the best of classical melodies, how can you falter?
My own SLB story is that after watching Saawariya in 2007, I wrote a few songs, moved to Bombay, lived in Versova, close to Magnum Opus, and hoped to meet him, but made no effort even though I came in close contact with people who worked directly with him. I never requested for a meeting. Over the years, I too had heard a few horror stories about him. I only believe in what I see. I waited when he would call for me, my work would have to speak for itself.
A day before Good Friday, his CEO sat me down and said it’s not working out.
There’s a mythical story of how Lata Mangeshkar was on her way to record a song for SLB but the heavens poured and she had to turn her car back. A typical SLB frame of hope and hopelessness.
Never work with your idols. You’ll have a better story to imagine and create myths.
I was so relieved to leave. I hadn’t got a moment to read, or write, let alone think since I got here. Why I wanted to work with SLB was to not believe in hearsay. I will either confirm or deny.
‘Great,’ I said, ‘everyone deserves an off on Good Friday.’
The office was unsure about public holidays. SLB’s mood dictated the calendar.
Before returning to Calcutta, I met a friend entrenched in the film business.
When she heard of the fiasco, she said, ‘I’ve heard he is very anal, is he?’
The vibrator jokes never stop.
2024.05.21 22:01 Working-Ad-6924 Jinx
Totoo ba talaga ang jinx? Sorry I know ang stupid ng question ko. Pero di ko kasi na talaga alam. Sobrang natatakot ako. Malas ako sa lovelife ever since and never pa ako nagka-partner ever.
This time kasi masaya ako sa ka-talking stage ko. Like it gives me so much happiness pag kausap ko siya. And we have plans to travel sa Baguio. By the way I’m a trans and he’s straight. The thing is na kwento ko siya sa friends ko. Diba kasi daw pag kinukwento najijinx daw? Natatakot lang ako na baka ma-jinx at bigla siya mag cold feet at bigla siya mawala sakin. Kaya hindi ko maiwasan mag overthink.
Kaya gusto ko lang malaman if totoo ba ang jinx and what should I avoid para hindi ma-jinx. Thank you guys!!!
submitted by Working-Ad-6924 to phlgbt [link] [comments]
This time kasi masaya ako sa ka-talking stage ko. Like it gives me so much happiness pag kausap ko siya. And we have plans to travel sa Baguio. By the way I’m a trans and he’s straight. The thing is na kwento ko siya sa friends ko. Diba kasi daw pag kinukwento najijinx daw? Natatakot lang ako na baka ma-jinx at bigla siya mag cold feet at bigla siya mawala sakin. Kaya hindi ko maiwasan mag overthink.
Kaya gusto ko lang malaman if totoo ba ang jinx and what should I avoid para hindi ma-jinx. Thank you guys!!!
2024.05.21 21:51 vousmevouyezz ABYG dahil iniwan ko sila knowing na wala silang pera? UPDATE‼️
REALLY LONG POST AHEAD‼️
hello sa lahat, maraming salamat sa mga magagandang salita at advices na iniwan niyo sa last post ko, i finally had the courage to face them yesterday.
to anyone reading this and haven't read the first post i posted, this is the link: https://www.reddit.com/AkoBaYungGago/s/e1tpjPd2EU (diko kasi alam pano mag update, i'm new here sorry po)
anyways going back to the topic.
while working yesterday morning, i received a call from my friend (i reactivated my sim 2days ago) na baka daw pwede na bayaran yung utang ko kasi need na daw niya, nagulat ako kasi wala akong utang. biggest fear ko talaga mangutang kaya hindi ako nagka utang buong buhay ko, nagtanong ako sa kanya kung kailan ako nangutang sabi niya May 13 ako nangutang sa kanya, which is the day ng discharge sa hospital ng babaeng nabuntis ng kapatid ko.
sabi ko agad sa kanya wala akong utang at wala akong inutang, at sabi niya yung mama ko daw yung umutang, ico-confirm niya daw sana sakin pero di daw niya ako ma message sa fb at di niya ako matawagan that day kaya akala niya emergency talaga kasi yun yung sabi ng mama ko, for emergency purposes daw yung utang. 150k yung inutang sa kanya. nag reply lang ako na "wait lang ha, wala talaga akong inutang sayo ginamit ni mama pangalan ko sorry, pupunta ako ng bahay today" kasi this time nanginginig na ako, ayoko talaga sa mga utang utang.
kaya i sat down and gathered all my thoughts bago ko in-activate muli yung fb and messenger ko, at nireplyan sila, nag reply ako sa gc namin na pupunta ako sa bahay pero pag nauwi sa sigawan yung pag-uusap namin aalis ako at hindi na babalik. hindi ko sinabi muna sa kanila na alam kong umutang sila gamit pangalan ko.
nag reply yung mama ko na dalhin ko daw si jacob (yung anak ko) sabi ko hindi na, kasi usapang pangmatanda yung mangyayari at ayokong makita ng anak ko incase na magka-gulo kami. nag reply lang siya ng okay. (yung anak ko pala nasa friend ko kasama yaya niya, di parin kasi ako mapanatag na iwan sila kaya pinapunta ko muna sila dun. also i will be transferring my son to a new private school, thank you for the advices).
tbh, naninibago ako. nakita ko na kasi lahat ng messages nila nung araw na nalaman nilang umalis ako at dahil nga naka deact ako, wala ng bagong mga message after nun kasi hindi naman sila makaka-send ng message kapag nag deact ka. yung last message nila puro mura at puro masasakit na salita kaya mejo anxious ako to meet them kasi hindi ako sanay na kalma lang yung mama ko.
pumunta na ako sa bahay na sobrang kabado, pag pasok ko nasa sala lang silang tatlo (mama, lola at kapatid ko) unang pasok ko palang sabi ni mama sakin "aayain sana kitang kumain pero wala na kaming pagkain dito" kaya na feel ko agad na parang gusto nilang ma guilty ako sa ginawa ko, hindi ako umimik at umupo na lang.
pag upo ko sabi ko agad kay mama "bat ka po umutang kay toot?" (will not say her name na) "pano nyo po yun babayaran?" natahimik lang sila at umiyak bigla si mama ko. sinabi niya sakin;
"(name ko) hindi ko alam na ganyan ka pala, saan mo nakuha yung kakapalan ng mukha mo? kung hindi dahil sakin hinding hindi ka makakakuha ng trabaho! sinong tumulong sayong mag-alaga ng anak mo nung bagong panganak ka palang? akala mo ba makaka pag trabaho ka kung wala ako? hindi! kung wala ako, wala ka! ang kapal ng mukha mo wala kang utang na loob! pinahiya mo kami dun sa hospital! nandun yung pamilya ng babae napahiya kami!-" (non-verbatim)
bago pa siya makapag salita muli sinabi ko agad "kung magsisigawan lang po tayo uuwi na po ako, nilinaw ko kanina na kapag mag sisigawan tayo aalis nalang po ako." natahimik siya, kaya nagsalita ako. this time umiiyak na din ako.
"ma, may usapan tayo diba? bakit po kayo nag desisyon na parang kayo yung magbabayad? sinabi ko na before ma, na public nalang kasi sobrang mahal sa private, public nga ako nanganak noon wala pa akong kasama, sampu pa kami sa loob ng kwarto, pero kinaya ko ma, pano niyo po naisip ang ibang babae ngayon pero hindi nyo ako naisip noon? ni hindi nyo nga ako binisita nung nanganak ako" sabi ko.
tapos sabi niya lang "hindi dahil nag hirap ka, dapat din mag hirap ang ibang babae. iba yung noon sa ngayon! may pera ka na! kayang kaya mo naman! sinamahan ka naman ng papa mo noon, bakit ba bini-big deal mo? ginawa mo na nga kaming alipin dito sa bahay tiga luto at laba ng gamit mo at ng anak mo, tapos wala kang utang na loob? ang kapal talaga ng mukha mo! naghahanap ka lang siguro ng dahilan para maka-alis dito! sige umalis ka! wag ka babalik kapag namatay kami lahat dahil sayo!" non-verbatim lahat to kasi eto lang talaga yung mga na-alala ko. mejo mahaba yung sinabi niya pero yan yung tumatak sa utak ko.
kaya umiyak nalang ako ng umiyak, sumabat na dito yung lola ko, sabi niya. "diko akalain na kaya mong gawin yung ginawa mo, naiiba talaga ng pera ang tao." kaya sinabi ko lang din sa kanya;
"hindi ko din po inakala na kaya niyong gawin yung ginawa niyo kahit na may napagkasunduan na, wala po kayong respesto sa desisyon ko. ano po ba ako sa pamilyang to? kahit naman po kayo ni mama nag babantay sa anak ko noon nag bibigay naman po ako sainyo at wala po kayong gastos sa diaper at gatas ni jacob, hindi ko din po sinabing lutuan niyo ako, kumakain lang naman po ako kung ano yung niluluto kasi para satin naman yun lahat ah? pera ko din yung pinambili, kayo din po yung nag sabi na kayo yung maglalaba basta bigyan ko kayo ng allowance. simula ng mamatay si papa nung 2019, ako na yung nagbabayad sa lahat, so bakit niyo po isinusumbat? pwedeng pwede po ako kumuha ng katulong noon, pero kayo yung nag insist na wag na."
umiiyak lang ako this time, nilabas ko lang lahat ng nararamdaman ko, diko na masulat lahat naging mahaba usapan namin at hindi ko na maalala yung iba, pero nung natapos na akong magsalita. sinabi lang ng mama ko na tapusin na ang drama, kalimutan na ang lahat at okay lang daw na wala ako sa bahay basta ako parin daw yung magbabayad sa lahat, tubig, kuryente, wifi, groceries at tuition at allowance ng kapatid ko. sumabat din yung kapatid ko na 10k daw yung hinihingi ng babae na sustento kada buwan at babayaran ko daw yung 35k na naabono ng pamilya ng babae sa bills sa hospital since 150k lang yung nautang nila mama at 185k yung bill sa hospital.
nagulat ako sa mga sinabi nila, sa lahat ng sinabi ko nilabas ko na yung nararamdaman ko, iniisip pa din nila na ako magbabayad sa lahat, ni hindi man lang nag sorry sa ginawa nila, isa lang akong tao na may silbi sa buhay nila kasi may pera. hindi ko alam na sobrang sakit pala.
madami akong realizations after giving myself time to think, and at this moment i realized i no longer want to be surrounded with these type of people in my life, tinignan ko lang sila isa isa. ma mi-miss ko sila sobra, pero this has to stop. i was manipulated into thinking that things that are not okay are okay dahil "pamilya ko sila". ngayon ko lang nalaman na naging people pleaser ako dahil sinusunod ko lang noon gusto nilang gawin ko kahit minsan labag yun sa kalooban ko.
tumayo lang ako at nag lapag ng 100k, yun na yung last. wala na akong sinabi at lumabas na, feel ko din kasi pag may sasabihin ako wala ding silbi. tinawag ako ni mama ng pasigaw pero nagmadali na ako papuntang sasakyan at umalis, walang lingunan. hindi ko rin kasi talaga kaya na hindi magbigay kaya sorry sa magagalit, masyadong malambot puso ko para iwan talaga sila ng walang-wala.
sinabi ko din sa friend ko na hindi ko mababayaran yung 150k, sobra yung iniyak ko dahil dito. kawawa kasi yung kaibigan ko, she was my neighbor friend. ayaw na ayaw ko talagang may na-agrabyadong tao, pero this time pipiliin ko lang talaga yung dapat tamang gawin, natatakot kasi ako na pag babayaran ko, uulit sila mama na umutang gamit pangalan ko kasi alam nilang babayaran ko, kaya pinigilan ko sarili ko.
i'm choosing myself, my peace of mind and my mental health this time. this is me finally ending a toxic cycle. i no longer wanna be someone who's only kept in someone's life just because it benefits them. my son needs me, and staying with my "family" only worsens my mental health being. my son deserves a mentally healthy mother and most importantly a healthy environment.
to everyone who was kind enough to leave me messages, maraming salamat po! i'm currently at my apartment with my son, i bought cake yesterday. this is us celebrating for the things that should've ended a long time ago, i have no plans of going back and i will try my best na hindi na sila isipin. i know it will take me time but i will get there. thank you so much sa lahat! this is something i didn't expect to happen in 2024 but i'm glad it did. hoping for better days for me and for everyone reading. Godbless!
submitted by vousmevouyezz to AkoBaYungGago [link] [comments]
hello sa lahat, maraming salamat sa mga magagandang salita at advices na iniwan niyo sa last post ko, i finally had the courage to face them yesterday.
to anyone reading this and haven't read the first post i posted, this is the link: https://www.reddit.com/AkoBaYungGago/s/e1tpjPd2EU (diko kasi alam pano mag update, i'm new here sorry po)
anyways going back to the topic.
while working yesterday morning, i received a call from my friend (i reactivated my sim 2days ago) na baka daw pwede na bayaran yung utang ko kasi need na daw niya, nagulat ako kasi wala akong utang. biggest fear ko talaga mangutang kaya hindi ako nagka utang buong buhay ko, nagtanong ako sa kanya kung kailan ako nangutang sabi niya May 13 ako nangutang sa kanya, which is the day ng discharge sa hospital ng babaeng nabuntis ng kapatid ko.
sabi ko agad sa kanya wala akong utang at wala akong inutang, at sabi niya yung mama ko daw yung umutang, ico-confirm niya daw sana sakin pero di daw niya ako ma message sa fb at di niya ako matawagan that day kaya akala niya emergency talaga kasi yun yung sabi ng mama ko, for emergency purposes daw yung utang. 150k yung inutang sa kanya. nag reply lang ako na "wait lang ha, wala talaga akong inutang sayo ginamit ni mama pangalan ko sorry, pupunta ako ng bahay today" kasi this time nanginginig na ako, ayoko talaga sa mga utang utang.
kaya i sat down and gathered all my thoughts bago ko in-activate muli yung fb and messenger ko, at nireplyan sila, nag reply ako sa gc namin na pupunta ako sa bahay pero pag nauwi sa sigawan yung pag-uusap namin aalis ako at hindi na babalik. hindi ko sinabi muna sa kanila na alam kong umutang sila gamit pangalan ko.
nag reply yung mama ko na dalhin ko daw si jacob (yung anak ko) sabi ko hindi na, kasi usapang pangmatanda yung mangyayari at ayokong makita ng anak ko incase na magka-gulo kami. nag reply lang siya ng okay. (yung anak ko pala nasa friend ko kasama yaya niya, di parin kasi ako mapanatag na iwan sila kaya pinapunta ko muna sila dun. also i will be transferring my son to a new private school, thank you for the advices).
tbh, naninibago ako. nakita ko na kasi lahat ng messages nila nung araw na nalaman nilang umalis ako at dahil nga naka deact ako, wala ng bagong mga message after nun kasi hindi naman sila makaka-send ng message kapag nag deact ka. yung last message nila puro mura at puro masasakit na salita kaya mejo anxious ako to meet them kasi hindi ako sanay na kalma lang yung mama ko.
pumunta na ako sa bahay na sobrang kabado, pag pasok ko nasa sala lang silang tatlo (mama, lola at kapatid ko) unang pasok ko palang sabi ni mama sakin "aayain sana kitang kumain pero wala na kaming pagkain dito" kaya na feel ko agad na parang gusto nilang ma guilty ako sa ginawa ko, hindi ako umimik at umupo na lang.
pag upo ko sabi ko agad kay mama "bat ka po umutang kay toot?" (will not say her name na) "pano nyo po yun babayaran?" natahimik lang sila at umiyak bigla si mama ko. sinabi niya sakin;
"(name ko) hindi ko alam na ganyan ka pala, saan mo nakuha yung kakapalan ng mukha mo? kung hindi dahil sakin hinding hindi ka makakakuha ng trabaho! sinong tumulong sayong mag-alaga ng anak mo nung bagong panganak ka palang? akala mo ba makaka pag trabaho ka kung wala ako? hindi! kung wala ako, wala ka! ang kapal ng mukha mo wala kang utang na loob! pinahiya mo kami dun sa hospital! nandun yung pamilya ng babae napahiya kami!-" (non-verbatim)
bago pa siya makapag salita muli sinabi ko agad "kung magsisigawan lang po tayo uuwi na po ako, nilinaw ko kanina na kapag mag sisigawan tayo aalis nalang po ako." natahimik siya, kaya nagsalita ako. this time umiiyak na din ako.
"ma, may usapan tayo diba? bakit po kayo nag desisyon na parang kayo yung magbabayad? sinabi ko na before ma, na public nalang kasi sobrang mahal sa private, public nga ako nanganak noon wala pa akong kasama, sampu pa kami sa loob ng kwarto, pero kinaya ko ma, pano niyo po naisip ang ibang babae ngayon pero hindi nyo ako naisip noon? ni hindi nyo nga ako binisita nung nanganak ako" sabi ko.
tapos sabi niya lang "hindi dahil nag hirap ka, dapat din mag hirap ang ibang babae. iba yung noon sa ngayon! may pera ka na! kayang kaya mo naman! sinamahan ka naman ng papa mo noon, bakit ba bini-big deal mo? ginawa mo na nga kaming alipin dito sa bahay tiga luto at laba ng gamit mo at ng anak mo, tapos wala kang utang na loob? ang kapal talaga ng mukha mo! naghahanap ka lang siguro ng dahilan para maka-alis dito! sige umalis ka! wag ka babalik kapag namatay kami lahat dahil sayo!" non-verbatim lahat to kasi eto lang talaga yung mga na-alala ko. mejo mahaba yung sinabi niya pero yan yung tumatak sa utak ko.
kaya umiyak nalang ako ng umiyak, sumabat na dito yung lola ko, sabi niya. "diko akalain na kaya mong gawin yung ginawa mo, naiiba talaga ng pera ang tao." kaya sinabi ko lang din sa kanya;
"hindi ko din po inakala na kaya niyong gawin yung ginawa niyo kahit na may napagkasunduan na, wala po kayong respesto sa desisyon ko. ano po ba ako sa pamilyang to? kahit naman po kayo ni mama nag babantay sa anak ko noon nag bibigay naman po ako sainyo at wala po kayong gastos sa diaper at gatas ni jacob, hindi ko din po sinabing lutuan niyo ako, kumakain lang naman po ako kung ano yung niluluto kasi para satin naman yun lahat ah? pera ko din yung pinambili, kayo din po yung nag sabi na kayo yung maglalaba basta bigyan ko kayo ng allowance. simula ng mamatay si papa nung 2019, ako na yung nagbabayad sa lahat, so bakit niyo po isinusumbat? pwedeng pwede po ako kumuha ng katulong noon, pero kayo yung nag insist na wag na."
umiiyak lang ako this time, nilabas ko lang lahat ng nararamdaman ko, diko na masulat lahat naging mahaba usapan namin at hindi ko na maalala yung iba, pero nung natapos na akong magsalita. sinabi lang ng mama ko na tapusin na ang drama, kalimutan na ang lahat at okay lang daw na wala ako sa bahay basta ako parin daw yung magbabayad sa lahat, tubig, kuryente, wifi, groceries at tuition at allowance ng kapatid ko. sumabat din yung kapatid ko na 10k daw yung hinihingi ng babae na sustento kada buwan at babayaran ko daw yung 35k na naabono ng pamilya ng babae sa bills sa hospital since 150k lang yung nautang nila mama at 185k yung bill sa hospital.
nagulat ako sa mga sinabi nila, sa lahat ng sinabi ko nilabas ko na yung nararamdaman ko, iniisip pa din nila na ako magbabayad sa lahat, ni hindi man lang nag sorry sa ginawa nila, isa lang akong tao na may silbi sa buhay nila kasi may pera. hindi ko alam na sobrang sakit pala.
madami akong realizations after giving myself time to think, and at this moment i realized i no longer want to be surrounded with these type of people in my life, tinignan ko lang sila isa isa. ma mi-miss ko sila sobra, pero this has to stop. i was manipulated into thinking that things that are not okay are okay dahil "pamilya ko sila". ngayon ko lang nalaman na naging people pleaser ako dahil sinusunod ko lang noon gusto nilang gawin ko kahit minsan labag yun sa kalooban ko.
tumayo lang ako at nag lapag ng 100k, yun na yung last. wala na akong sinabi at lumabas na, feel ko din kasi pag may sasabihin ako wala ding silbi. tinawag ako ni mama ng pasigaw pero nagmadali na ako papuntang sasakyan at umalis, walang lingunan. hindi ko rin kasi talaga kaya na hindi magbigay kaya sorry sa magagalit, masyadong malambot puso ko para iwan talaga sila ng walang-wala.
sinabi ko din sa friend ko na hindi ko mababayaran yung 150k, sobra yung iniyak ko dahil dito. kawawa kasi yung kaibigan ko, she was my neighbor friend. ayaw na ayaw ko talagang may na-agrabyadong tao, pero this time pipiliin ko lang talaga yung dapat tamang gawin, natatakot kasi ako na pag babayaran ko, uulit sila mama na umutang gamit pangalan ko kasi alam nilang babayaran ko, kaya pinigilan ko sarili ko.
i'm choosing myself, my peace of mind and my mental health this time. this is me finally ending a toxic cycle. i no longer wanna be someone who's only kept in someone's life just because it benefits them. my son needs me, and staying with my "family" only worsens my mental health being. my son deserves a mentally healthy mother and most importantly a healthy environment.
to everyone who was kind enough to leave me messages, maraming salamat po! i'm currently at my apartment with my son, i bought cake yesterday. this is us celebrating for the things that should've ended a long time ago, i have no plans of going back and i will try my best na hindi na sila isipin. i know it will take me time but i will get there. thank you so much sa lahat! this is something i didn't expect to happen in 2024 but i'm glad it did. hoping for better days for me and for everyone reading. Godbless!
2024.05.21 21:49 cukorborso_ Dudu a kedvencem
Nem értem ezt a hatalmas utálatot iránta, szerintem az egyik legjobb karakter, akitől még várhatóak váratlan húzások. A műsor nem arról szól, hogy minden helyzetben igazat mondj. Mégis mit kellett volna tennie? A szemébe mondani Dorkának, hogy igen, rád fogom rakni a duplámat, vagy mondta volna azt, hogy nem mondja meg kire rakja? Előbbivel azt kockáztatta volna, hogy Dorka ezt elmondja mindenkinek, majd megpakolják jellel és biztos párbajozó, utóbbival pedig nagyon egyértelmű lett volna, hogy miért nem válaszol egy konkrét névvel. Nekem füllentések, kisebb stiklik bőven beleférnek, ha valaki a saját játékban maradása érdekében teszi. Ne felejtsétek el, hogy 1-2 nap alatt, 1-1 cselekedet hatására is változhat a játékosok megítélése, előfordulhat, hogy aki ma közönségkedvenc, azt néhány nap múlva a nézők mindenáron ki szeretnék szavazni.
Egy dologban szerintem teljesen őszinte: a Noémivel való kapcsolatában. Nem lehet 0-24-ben eljátszani azt, hogy valakit ölelgetsz, csókolgatsz, kedveskedsz neki, de közben a hátad közepére sem kívánod. Lehet, hogy unalmas nézni mindennap az összebújásukat, de a másik 2 páros nem ugyanezt csinálja? Oké, elsőre nem volt az esete Noémi, de elkezdtek egymással beszélgetni, jobban megismerték egymást, láthatóan megszerette. Azt érdekes módon senki nem írta le, hogy a nyereményét a 1,5 éves öccsének adná, hogy 18 éves korában ne 0 Ft-ről induljon el (Csicsivel, Kikidivel és Noémivel való beszélgetés közben hangzott el néhány napja).
submitted by cukorborso_ to VV12_ [link] [comments]
Egy dologban szerintem teljesen őszinte: a Noémivel való kapcsolatában. Nem lehet 0-24-ben eljátszani azt, hogy valakit ölelgetsz, csókolgatsz, kedveskedsz neki, de közben a hátad közepére sem kívánod. Lehet, hogy unalmas nézni mindennap az összebújásukat, de a másik 2 páros nem ugyanezt csinálja? Oké, elsőre nem volt az esete Noémi, de elkezdtek egymással beszélgetni, jobban megismerték egymást, láthatóan megszerette. Azt érdekes módon senki nem írta le, hogy a nyereményét a 1,5 éves öccsének adná, hogy 18 éves korában ne 0 Ft-ről induljon el (Csicsivel, Kikidivel és Noémivel való beszélgetés közben hangzott el néhány napja).
2024.05.21 21:38 Educational-Tear-792 Mga kaklase kong nangmamaliit ng bagsakin
Napansin ko lang na in college, even tho hindi ka pabigat sa groupings, if youre not academically good may chance na mamaliitin ka talaga ng mga classmates mo. Dumating na nga halos sa point na ginagamit na akong term as bagsak ng buong block for example, "Sige, wag ka mag review para maging si rico ka" tas pag nag recite ako mag sisigawan sila. There's this one time na may kaklase din akong malapit na bumagsak tapos nag myday lang ng MOA sila then sinend doon sa class GC namin without context (wala naman siyang groupings na hindi inaambagan nasabi niya saakin) pero naiintindihan ko naman, nakaka earn nga din naman talaga ng respect kapag academically good 'yung isang tao pero wag naman sana gawing dahilan 'yun para maliitin 'yung mga hindi nag eexcel sa acads.
Sisikapin ko talaga maging successful sa buhay para ma iistalk ko 'yung mga names neto in the futute tas titignan ko kung hanggang saan narating nila sa ugali nilang ganiyan.
submitted by Educational-Tear-792 to studentsph [link] [comments]
Sisikapin ko talaga maging successful sa buhay para ma iistalk ko 'yung mga names neto in the futute tas titignan ko kung hanggang saan narating nila sa ugali nilang ganiyan.
2024.05.21 20:52 wiccanda10 ABYG kasi iniwan ko na yung anak ko?
sabi kasi ng barangay captain mali daw ako at hindi daw tama yung approach ko sa anak ko. Sabi din ng kamag anakan ko ang harsh naman daw ng gagawin ko sa anak ko. ABYG?
30F single mom na may 14M na anak.
So eto po yung story:
My son is a rebel child at lulong na sa drugs. I tried to be the most understanding parent as much as possible sa kanya and I tried my best to be a parent for him dahil ako na lang ang natitira niyang magulang at wala na ang papa niya.
Noon pa man, I mostly give him what he wants; things, decisions, etc. even if nalulungkot na ako kasi hindi kami tugma ng gusto, inuunawa ko na lang at umo-oo.
Like when he was 7 years old, gusto ko iparanas sa kanya magpunta ng disneyland sa Japan, pero since ayaw niya noon at iniiyakan niya't nagmamakaawa siya na 'wag ko siya dalhin doon (kasi paniniwala niya, iiwanan ko siya doon at uuwi ako mag isa ng 'pinas... inexplain ko na hindi ganun) hindi ko na tinuloy.
Even if these recent times na inaaya ko siya magbakasyon kahit sa Cebu, Palawan or Davao lang, ayaw niya talaga. Dahilan naman niya natatakot siya sumakay ng eroplano, at baka daw mamatay siya (ridiculous, yes. I mean there is a chance that might happen, but the chances are very slim and we know that... inexplain ko ulit pero ayaw pa din makinig)
Basically, kung ano yung gusto niya, ayun talaga masusunod or it wouldn't be a good day for both of us.
I respect his decision but cannot grasp the idea. Since he doesn't want to go with me sa mga lugar na gusto ko, me and my now ex BF na lang pumapasyal noon. Nagagalit siya bakit hindi ko daw siya sinama, I told him na ayaw niya sumakay sa eroplano kaya kami na lang, and expectedly, made me feel like it's my fault again.
Even yung fact na gusto niya tumira sa family ng papa niya ginalang ko din yun. Kung ako masusunod, gusto ko sakin siya nakatira at maalagaan ko siya. Before pandemic, sakin siya noon at weekends dun sia sa father's side niya. Pero nung naglock down, the circumstance po made me more distant sa kanya since doon siya naabutan ng lockdown noon and it took almost 2 years na di ko siya nakapiling. So nung binabawi ko na siya, ayaw na niya at gusto niya siya na lang bibisita sakin.
Ako na nag-adjust, kahit na hindi ko gusto. For the sake of our relationship as mother and son, inunawa ko. I give him what he wants, I did my best to "bond" with him everytime. I am working hard as a parent without being the parent na mataas ang expectations. I told him that bigay ko gusto niya, Pinakiusapan ko lang na mag aral ng maigi. Pero hindi niya rin natupad yun.
Napansin ko na this circa 2023-24, nag umpisa na siya magrebelde; hindi na siya nag aral ayaw na niya. Also around this time nalululong na siya sa droga. Ilang beses ko na siya kinompronta doon, of course, dinedeny niya at nagagalit siya sakin. Hanggang sa nababalitaan ko nagpa-pass out na sia kasi sa sobrang drugs.
Nabalitaan ko din na marami na ina-unalive sa barangay nila due to drug trading issues. Dagdag mo pa yung mga namatay sa OD.
As a mom that is so worried about him. I have this plan na ipa-rehab siya. So nagtanong ako sa municipyo namin at sinabi na gagawaan daw evaluation kung pasok ba sia sa rehab ng DSWD. Hingi daw ako assistance sa barangay.
So nakipag ugnayan ako sa barangay para ma-held siya at madala siya doon sa DSWD. Sadly, etong barangay samin ay ineencourage ako na kausapin ko ang anak ko at ayusin daw namin ang relasyon namin mag ina at wag na daw pahantungin sa DSWD. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang logic ng barangay na yun pero napikon talaga ako.
So pinakausap sakin and of course, knowing his attitude, alam ko na magwawala at magrerebelde na naman siya. Inasahan ko na tutulungan ako ng barangay, pero ang ending hinayaan lang nila tumakbo palabas ang anak ko, despite pinakiusapan ko na huwag na paalisin at samahan na kami sa office ng drug rehab sa municipality namin.
Sa sobrang sama ng loob ko, naiyak ako. Etong barangay captain, sinabi pa sakin na mali daw ang ginagawa ko.
Sinabi pa niya sakin na hindi daw siya tatanggapin sa rehab kahit pa DSWD kapag hindi siya willing. Despite na yung drug rehab office na nagsabi sakin, iniinvalidate niya ko. Sa sobrang pikon ko sinabihan ko siya na "incompetent" siya at mas maigi si surname ng previous barangay captain ang namamahala kasi wala siya kwenta.
now, before that episode na tumakbo siya palabas, nag sagutan pa kami ng anak ko.
sabi niya sakin
"ayoko sayo, ayoko na bine-baby mo ako at ayoko nang makita ka kahit kailan... wala naman akong pakialam sayo, hindi ikaw masusunod sa buhay ko. Puro ikaw na lang nasusunod"
the audacity! sa totoo lang napipikon na ako. Pero I tried to be calm.
sinabi ko naman
"responsibilidad kita anak, at hindi pwede mawalan ako ng pakialam sayo. Bata ka pa, kailangan mo ng guidance ko at eto na nakikita ko na dapat ko gawin para maituwid mo buhay mo."
sabi niya
"wala nga ako pakialam sayo ang kulit mo pabayaan mo ako! kahit mamatay ka pa jan wala akong pakialam sayo. Dadalhin mo ako sa rehab, bakit? baliw ba ako? sinisira mo lang lalo buhay ko wala ka talagang kwenta!"
then ayun tumakbo na siya, actually pinipigilan talaga sia nung una nung tanod pero since malaki sia at maliit yung tanod natakot sa amba niya kaya binitawan siya.
nag decide na ako na mag cut ties sa kanya; binlock ko pati mga kamag anak niya doon at nag plight ako na hindi ko na siya papakialaman habang buhay.
Base din kasi sa barangay at sa anak ko; ako talaga mali. Pero ABTYG?
submitted by wiccanda10 to AkoBaYungGago [link] [comments]
30F single mom na may 14M na anak.
So eto po yung story:
My son is a rebel child at lulong na sa drugs. I tried to be the most understanding parent as much as possible sa kanya and I tried my best to be a parent for him dahil ako na lang ang natitira niyang magulang at wala na ang papa niya.
Noon pa man, I mostly give him what he wants; things, decisions, etc. even if nalulungkot na ako kasi hindi kami tugma ng gusto, inuunawa ko na lang at umo-oo.
Like when he was 7 years old, gusto ko iparanas sa kanya magpunta ng disneyland sa Japan, pero since ayaw niya noon at iniiyakan niya't nagmamakaawa siya na 'wag ko siya dalhin doon (kasi paniniwala niya, iiwanan ko siya doon at uuwi ako mag isa ng 'pinas... inexplain ko na hindi ganun) hindi ko na tinuloy.
Even if these recent times na inaaya ko siya magbakasyon kahit sa Cebu, Palawan or Davao lang, ayaw niya talaga. Dahilan naman niya natatakot siya sumakay ng eroplano, at baka daw mamatay siya (ridiculous, yes. I mean there is a chance that might happen, but the chances are very slim and we know that... inexplain ko ulit pero ayaw pa din makinig)
Basically, kung ano yung gusto niya, ayun talaga masusunod or it wouldn't be a good day for both of us.
I respect his decision but cannot grasp the idea. Since he doesn't want to go with me sa mga lugar na gusto ko, me and my now ex BF na lang pumapasyal noon. Nagagalit siya bakit hindi ko daw siya sinama, I told him na ayaw niya sumakay sa eroplano kaya kami na lang, and expectedly, made me feel like it's my fault again.
Even yung fact na gusto niya tumira sa family ng papa niya ginalang ko din yun. Kung ako masusunod, gusto ko sakin siya nakatira at maalagaan ko siya. Before pandemic, sakin siya noon at weekends dun sia sa father's side niya. Pero nung naglock down, the circumstance po made me more distant sa kanya since doon siya naabutan ng lockdown noon and it took almost 2 years na di ko siya nakapiling. So nung binabawi ko na siya, ayaw na niya at gusto niya siya na lang bibisita sakin.
Ako na nag-adjust, kahit na hindi ko gusto. For the sake of our relationship as mother and son, inunawa ko. I give him what he wants, I did my best to "bond" with him everytime. I am working hard as a parent without being the parent na mataas ang expectations. I told him that bigay ko gusto niya, Pinakiusapan ko lang na mag aral ng maigi. Pero hindi niya rin natupad yun.
Napansin ko na this circa 2023-24, nag umpisa na siya magrebelde; hindi na siya nag aral ayaw na niya. Also around this time nalululong na siya sa droga. Ilang beses ko na siya kinompronta doon, of course, dinedeny niya at nagagalit siya sakin. Hanggang sa nababalitaan ko nagpa-pass out na sia kasi sa sobrang drugs.
Nabalitaan ko din na marami na ina-unalive sa barangay nila due to drug trading issues. Dagdag mo pa yung mga namatay sa OD.
As a mom that is so worried about him. I have this plan na ipa-rehab siya. So nagtanong ako sa municipyo namin at sinabi na gagawaan daw evaluation kung pasok ba sia sa rehab ng DSWD. Hingi daw ako assistance sa barangay.
So nakipag ugnayan ako sa barangay para ma-held siya at madala siya doon sa DSWD. Sadly, etong barangay samin ay ineencourage ako na kausapin ko ang anak ko at ayusin daw namin ang relasyon namin mag ina at wag na daw pahantungin sa DSWD. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang logic ng barangay na yun pero napikon talaga ako.
So pinakausap sakin and of course, knowing his attitude, alam ko na magwawala at magrerebelde na naman siya. Inasahan ko na tutulungan ako ng barangay, pero ang ending hinayaan lang nila tumakbo palabas ang anak ko, despite pinakiusapan ko na huwag na paalisin at samahan na kami sa office ng drug rehab sa municipality namin.
Sa sobrang sama ng loob ko, naiyak ako. Etong barangay captain, sinabi pa sakin na mali daw ang ginagawa ko.
Sinabi pa niya sakin na hindi daw siya tatanggapin sa rehab kahit pa DSWD kapag hindi siya willing. Despite na yung drug rehab office na nagsabi sakin, iniinvalidate niya ko. Sa sobrang pikon ko sinabihan ko siya na "incompetent" siya at mas maigi si surname ng previous barangay captain ang namamahala kasi wala siya kwenta.
now, before that episode na tumakbo siya palabas, nag sagutan pa kami ng anak ko.
sabi niya sakin
"ayoko sayo, ayoko na bine-baby mo ako at ayoko nang makita ka kahit kailan... wala naman akong pakialam sayo, hindi ikaw masusunod sa buhay ko. Puro ikaw na lang nasusunod"
the audacity! sa totoo lang napipikon na ako. Pero I tried to be calm.
sinabi ko naman
"responsibilidad kita anak, at hindi pwede mawalan ako ng pakialam sayo. Bata ka pa, kailangan mo ng guidance ko at eto na nakikita ko na dapat ko gawin para maituwid mo buhay mo."
sabi niya
"wala nga ako pakialam sayo ang kulit mo pabayaan mo ako! kahit mamatay ka pa jan wala akong pakialam sayo. Dadalhin mo ako sa rehab, bakit? baliw ba ako? sinisira mo lang lalo buhay ko wala ka talagang kwenta!"
then ayun tumakbo na siya, actually pinipigilan talaga sia nung una nung tanod pero since malaki sia at maliit yung tanod natakot sa amba niya kaya binitawan siya.
nag decide na ako na mag cut ties sa kanya; binlock ko pati mga kamag anak niya doon at nag plight ako na hindi ko na siya papakialaman habang buhay.
Base din kasi sa barangay at sa anak ko; ako talaga mali. Pero ABTYG?
2024.05.21 20:52 Mees2312 Ligue 1 stadium trip - Nice-Lyon - pt. 1 (512 TR, 997.2 GT3 RS, etc.)
Abarth 695 Rivale
https://maps.app.goo.gl/tiVNgKiQJ94yWoFE9
Abarth 695 Rivale
https://maps.app.goo.gl/2bEvkLUvHay5AXky7
Alpine A110
https://maps.app.goo.gl/DAjABLhFuZgCymzw9
Aston Martin Rapide + Porsche 997 Turbo Cabriolet
https://maps.app.goo.gl/DYxDnLv96txGmujaA
Aston Martin Rapide S
https://maps.app.goo.gl/6trwRYNGyvvL6mUn6
Aston Martin V8 Vantage Roadster 2006
https://maps.app.goo.gl/DHUjAPFXpwhpJykS9
Aston Martin Vanquish
https://maps.app.goo.gl/WpJRUkMrmaWB1Bja7
Audi RS3 Sportback 8V
https://maps.app.goo.gl/9T4YVYWBi2h6ufcz7
Audi RS5 Sportback B9
https://maps.app.goo.gl/Wt5Wm86gkEUYnmxH6
Audi RS6 Avant C7
https://maps.app.goo.gl/bhkhhjSGAyXuvm3y6
Audi RS6 Avant C7
https://maps.app.goo.gl/dc3puHTpr5YAwuZ87
Audi RSQ3 Sportback F3
https://maps.app.goo.gl/ujjtAYpNLQFEcB7f9
Audi RSQ8
https://maps.app.goo.gl/SwQumQFSc7YiFEgh6
Bentley Continental Flying Spur
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Bentley Continental GT
https://maps.app.goo.gl/VDBRoUujG9HSrKUQ7
Bentley Continental GT Speed
https://maps.app.goo.gl/9kFTWebR4DxdibYb6
Bentley Continental GTC
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Bentley Continental GTC
https://maps.app.goo.gl/BQMS9J2G1rM5mJaWA
Bentley Continental GTC V8 2012
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Bentley Continental GTC V8 2012
https://maps.app.goo.gl/MxPgCAMUVvR1yi9KA
Bentley Mulsanne 2016
https://maps.app.goo.gl/71zyDSQJoEVcjjtJ6
BMW M2 F87
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BMW M3 E90
https://maps.app.goo.gl/NhufgRpmUxZqWwm18
BMW M3 E92
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BMW M4 F82
https://maps.app.goo.gl/qxSDTg3chLyrciQCA
BMW M5 E60
https://maps.app.goo.gl/1PMCHzL5ZuxdYTvc9
Caterham Seven
https://maps.app.goo.gl/tbMeEzAGpebheuM96
Chevrolet Corvette C2 Convertible
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Chevrolet Corvette C2 Convertible
https://maps.app.goo.gl/g3bg19BXSFQ8A87j8
Citroen DS Cabriolet
https://maps.app.goo.gl/Srx7xnckPZCGj6jMA
Excalibur Phaeton
https://maps.app.goo.gl/4qnsvMNrnFfMkgNQ8
Ferrari 458 Speciale
https://maps.app.goo.gl/9dcn2daLXyFCgpZT8
Ferrari 512 TR
https://maps.app.goo.gl/E9cwvek8a48Yymck9
Ferrari 812 Superfast
https://maps.app.goo.gl/WqQ3jS79xkNoM6ui7
Ford Focus RS MK3
https://maps.app.goo.gl/GGztRBowc5XG5WQGA
Ford Mustang I Convertible
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Ford Mustang GT Convertible 2015
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Jaguar F-Type Coupe
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Jaguar XKR
https://maps.app.goo.gl/hqBicbt2g1duhSy48
Lancia Delta HF Integrale 16V
https://maps.app.goo.gl/U8rKL2sBptt1NYcF6
Maserati GranTurismo
https://maps.app.goo.gl/eFPSZJ7e1GvMMGPA8
Maserati GranTurismo
https://maps.app.goo.gl/D2ewRG3wKXym9pYM8
Maserati Quattroporte V
https://maps.app.goo.gl/F741ZYxttUiJbBC78
Maserati Quattroporte V
https://maps.app.goo.gl/nHms5FTm6Z38x8q68
Maserati Quattroporte Sport GT S 2009
https://maps.app.goo.gl/ComKWfqSaZbAC3RF7
Maybach 57
https://maps.app.goo.gl/b9BEEAgiXzTo8MX16
Mercedes-Benz Brabus G 6.1 Widestar Cabriolet
https://maps.app.goo.gl/t9kTXNa7gXEMkMPF9
Mercedes-Benz G63 AMG 2012
https://maps.app.goo.gl/NpeiPkqArbkf1WKk8
Mercedes-Benz G63 AMG 2018
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Mercedes-Benz S63 AMG W222
https://maps.app.goo.gl/JYhpDkNnpC2UbJ4T7
Mercedes-Benz S63 AMG Coupe C217
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Mercedes-Benz S63 AMG Coupe C217
https://maps.app.goo.gl/6rrDYduYiFwfAdc16
Mercedes-Benz S63 AMG Coupe C217
https://maps.app.goo.gl/VRyHKsaqH4obBnuw6
Mercedes-Benz SL55 AMG R230
https://maps.app.goo.gl/vhiNWZK2cw8oQtxZ7
Mercedes-Benz SL65 AMG R230
https://maps.app.goo.gl/eY4vT5R6J6kvDB8p8
Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG Roadster
https://maps.app.goo.gl/xgtbZdUF3kwq1FZk9
Mercedes-Maybach S500 2015
https://maps.app.goo.gl/qABn2JPVHE1fYs4y8
Mercedes-Maybach S500 2015
https://maps.app.goo.gl/hD9nuo15wzB6VaPa9
Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution VIII
https://maps.app.goo.gl/mydi3GoHWEbU4g1B8
Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution X
https://maps.app.goo.gl/P4Nsj5BxxxPqG4Mg8
Porsche 911 G-Series Targa
https://maps.app.goo.gl/b1asUrBSic5iJsAg8
Porsche 957 Cayenne Gemballa GT750 Biturbo
https://maps.app.goo.gl/92QhMHWY3g5ajDVN6
Porsche 964 Carrera
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Porsche 981 Boxster Spyder
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Porsche 992 Turbo S Cabriolet
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Porsche 993 Carrera Cabriolet
https://maps.app.goo.gl/ifraq8EEmqrNbVrT9
Porsche 993 Turbo
https://maps.app.goo.gl/fs3KVRCqL2zuryqF7
Porsche 997 Carrera 4S
https://maps.app.goo.gl/qbsJZnztVUiA5Kj26
Porsche 997.2 GT3 RS
https://maps.app.goo.gl/T9GXDohcMtAuhDVY9
Porsche 997 Turbo Cabriolet
https://maps.app.goo.gl/igfJaeYLusqp5CYh9
Rolls-Royce Corniche
https://maps.app.goo.gl/N7Gr1DPCa5ZsypNU8
Rolls-Royce Ghost 2014
https://maps.app.goo.gl/yfEoA8XauuSdo62L8
Rolls-Royce Phantom VII
https://maps.app.goo.gl/1qT87fnxQPALsMxw9
Rolls-Royce Phantom VII Series II
https://maps.app.goo.gl/hfm9xkjPxQtkNbLW8
submitted by Mees2312 to StreetviewCarSpotting [link] [comments]
https://maps.app.goo.gl/tiVNgKiQJ94yWoFE9
Abarth 695 Rivale
https://maps.app.goo.gl/2bEvkLUvHay5AXky7
Alpine A110
https://maps.app.goo.gl/DAjABLhFuZgCymzw9
Aston Martin Rapide + Porsche 997 Turbo Cabriolet
https://maps.app.goo.gl/DYxDnLv96txGmujaA
Aston Martin Rapide S
https://maps.app.goo.gl/6trwRYNGyvvL6mUn6
Aston Martin V8 Vantage Roadster 2006
https://maps.app.goo.gl/DHUjAPFXpwhpJykS9
Aston Martin Vanquish
https://maps.app.goo.gl/WpJRUkMrmaWB1Bja7
Audi RS3 Sportback 8V
https://maps.app.goo.gl/9T4YVYWBi2h6ufcz7
Audi RS5 Sportback B9
https://maps.app.goo.gl/Wt5Wm86gkEUYnmxH6
Audi RS6 Avant C7
https://maps.app.goo.gl/bhkhhjSGAyXuvm3y6
Audi RS6 Avant C7
https://maps.app.goo.gl/dc3puHTpr5YAwuZ87
Audi RSQ3 Sportback F3
https://maps.app.goo.gl/ujjtAYpNLQFEcB7f9
Audi RSQ8
https://maps.app.goo.gl/SwQumQFSc7YiFEgh6
Bentley Continental Flying Spur
https://maps.app.goo.gl/AfSEckZdDruPk4Aw5
Bentley Continental GT
https://maps.app.goo.gl/VDBRoUujG9HSrKUQ7
Bentley Continental GT Speed
https://maps.app.goo.gl/9kFTWebR4DxdibYb6
Bentley Continental GTC
https://maps.app.goo.gl/PMJeLVxKTzKGPWXE7
Bentley Continental GTC
https://maps.app.goo.gl/BQMS9J2G1rM5mJaWA
Bentley Continental GTC V8 2012
https://maps.app.goo.gl/EpjwGeVzXVJZ2D3C6
Bentley Continental GTC V8 2012
https://maps.app.goo.gl/MxPgCAMUVvR1yi9KA
Bentley Mulsanne 2016
https://maps.app.goo.gl/71zyDSQJoEVcjjtJ6
BMW M2 F87
https://maps.app.goo.gl/JTKb6euZqRxLuc2R8
BMW M3 E90
https://maps.app.goo.gl/NhufgRpmUxZqWwm18
BMW M3 E92
https://maps.app.goo.gl/Sz4ih7G1SfSG3NsG8
BMW M4 F82
https://maps.app.goo.gl/qxSDTg3chLyrciQCA
BMW M5 E60
https://maps.app.goo.gl/1PMCHzL5ZuxdYTvc9
Caterham Seven
https://maps.app.goo.gl/tbMeEzAGpebheuM96
Chevrolet Corvette C2 Convertible
https://maps.app.goo.gl/nYU5E27h2hyeFsHu5
Chevrolet Corvette C2 Convertible
https://maps.app.goo.gl/g3bg19BXSFQ8A87j8
Citroen DS Cabriolet
https://maps.app.goo.gl/Srx7xnckPZCGj6jMA
Excalibur Phaeton
https://maps.app.goo.gl/4qnsvMNrnFfMkgNQ8
Ferrari 458 Speciale
https://maps.app.goo.gl/9dcn2daLXyFCgpZT8
Ferrari 512 TR
https://maps.app.goo.gl/E9cwvek8a48Yymck9
Ferrari 812 Superfast
https://maps.app.goo.gl/WqQ3jS79xkNoM6ui7
Ford Focus RS MK3
https://maps.app.goo.gl/GGztRBowc5XG5WQGA
Ford Mustang I Convertible
https://maps.app.goo.gl/Z7Z6566ah8uZPaaSA
Ford Mustang GT Convertible 2015
https://maps.app.goo.gl/E7qovpYjH3yZAB546
Jaguar F-Type Coupe
https://maps.app.goo.gl/GVytEYr16kz9BmW56
Jaguar XKR
https://maps.app.goo.gl/hqBicbt2g1duhSy48
Lancia Delta HF Integrale 16V
https://maps.app.goo.gl/U8rKL2sBptt1NYcF6
Maserati GranTurismo
https://maps.app.goo.gl/eFPSZJ7e1GvMMGPA8
Maserati GranTurismo
https://maps.app.goo.gl/D2ewRG3wKXym9pYM8
Maserati Quattroporte V
https://maps.app.goo.gl/F741ZYxttUiJbBC78
Maserati Quattroporte V
https://maps.app.goo.gl/nHms5FTm6Z38x8q68
Maserati Quattroporte Sport GT S 2009
https://maps.app.goo.gl/ComKWfqSaZbAC3RF7
Maybach 57
https://maps.app.goo.gl/b9BEEAgiXzTo8MX16
Mercedes-Benz Brabus G 6.1 Widestar Cabriolet
https://maps.app.goo.gl/t9kTXNa7gXEMkMPF9
Mercedes-Benz G63 AMG 2012
https://maps.app.goo.gl/NpeiPkqArbkf1WKk8
Mercedes-Benz G63 AMG 2018
https://maps.app.goo.gl/N6LaVjPBd5ZdvGgi9
Mercedes-Benz S63 AMG W222
https://maps.app.goo.gl/JYhpDkNnpC2UbJ4T7
Mercedes-Benz S63 AMG Coupe C217
https://maps.app.goo.gl/pP5cMBEdzvJ1jUh68
Mercedes-Benz S63 AMG Coupe C217
https://maps.app.goo.gl/6rrDYduYiFwfAdc16
Mercedes-Benz S63 AMG Coupe C217
https://maps.app.goo.gl/VRyHKsaqH4obBnuw6
Mercedes-Benz SL55 AMG R230
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Mercedes-Benz SL65 AMG R230
https://maps.app.goo.gl/eY4vT5R6J6kvDB8p8
Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG Roadster
https://maps.app.goo.gl/xgtbZdUF3kwq1FZk9
Mercedes-Maybach S500 2015
https://maps.app.goo.gl/qABn2JPVHE1fYs4y8
Mercedes-Maybach S500 2015
https://maps.app.goo.gl/hD9nuo15wzB6VaPa9
Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution VIII
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Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution X
https://maps.app.goo.gl/P4Nsj5BxxxPqG4Mg8
Porsche 911 G-Series Targa
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Porsche 957 Cayenne Gemballa GT750 Biturbo
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Porsche 964 Carrera
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Porsche 981 Boxster Spyder
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Porsche 992 Turbo S Cabriolet
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Porsche 993 Carrera Cabriolet
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Porsche 993 Turbo
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Porsche 997 Carrera 4S
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Porsche 997.2 GT3 RS
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Porsche 997 Turbo Cabriolet
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Rolls-Royce Corniche
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Rolls-Royce Ghost 2014
https://maps.app.goo.gl/yfEoA8XauuSdo62L8
Rolls-Royce Phantom VII
https://maps.app.goo.gl/1qT87fnxQPALsMxw9
Rolls-Royce Phantom VII Series II
https://maps.app.goo.gl/hfm9xkjPxQtkNbLW8
2024.05.21 20:44 Effective_Maximum_98 paypal bitcoin scam
submitted by Effective_Maximum_98 to ScamNumbers [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 20:38 sleepy_hooman1912 nta ki ma ki chut
I’m the last person to curse but bro literally what the fuck was today. I live in south Delhi near vasant kung and I had to go all the bloody way to GT Karnal road for a fucking 45 minute exam in the middle of no fucking where. Bhenchod the exam centre was next to a warehouse. Pehle toh it’s so hot, ki lagta hai mar jaogey. Uske upar sey expectation tha Ki Achcha CBT exam hai toh AC wala centre hoga. But fuck no. Jeevan mey kuch dhanka toh hona nahi hai. There were just fans which seemed to be giving out hot air. So many kids, so many overheated desktops, and bhai paseeney Ke smell sey ulti aane wali thi. Exam Ke beech mey, computer chalna band hogaya mera so they shifted me to another one but paach minute mere gaye and I didn’t get extra time. Thankfully paper easy tha toh time sey khatam hogaya but genuinely itna zyada kabhi gaali dene ka mann nahi kiya hai kisiko.
Fuck you nta. I hope every single entitled jackass organising this gets to drink hot boiling water in this shitass weather.
submitted by sleepy_hooman1912 to CUETards [link] [comments]
Fuck you nta. I hope every single entitled jackass organising this gets to drink hot boiling water in this shitass weather.
2024.05.21 20:32 KlemenKisi Wifi povezava dela, razen za kar nekaj spletnih strani
Oj, upam, da je tu kaksen strucko ali pa vsaj uboga dusa, ki je sla cez podobno situacijo in mi zna pomagat.
Long story short, crkne mi wifi, js grem neki preklaplat omrezne kable v modemu, seveda ga tut ugasnem in prizgem, nic. Dons si zrihtam en router, ga povezem in internet (wifi) dela, ampak dolocene spletne strani ne (primeri so t-2 tv2go, telekom, lpp vozni redi, itd.).
No kasneje ugotovim, da je spodnjim sosedom varovalko vn fuknl in se jim je izklopla elektrika, posledicno tut router, na katerga smo prklopleni. Dons zrihtano, se prklopm na ta router kjer sem bil ze dve leti gor in iste spletne strani ne delajo.
Od treh omreznih kablov v modemu sem pogruntu, ker je za internet in ga probu v vseh 8 kanalov na modemu vtaknit (brez drugih dveh kablov vtaknjenih v modem) na vsakmu ista zgodba, na treh pa internet sploh ne dela.
Valda klicu tehnicno podporo T2 in se noben ne oglasi, jebiga.
Ma kdo kaksno idejo, v cem je problem? A morem zadet neko kombinacijo vvkere kanale vtaknt vse 3 omrezne kable? Druga dva sploh ne vem kaj sta (TVja nimam).
submitted by KlemenKisi to Slovenia [link] [comments]
Long story short, crkne mi wifi, js grem neki preklaplat omrezne kable v modemu, seveda ga tut ugasnem in prizgem, nic. Dons si zrihtam en router, ga povezem in internet (wifi) dela, ampak dolocene spletne strani ne (primeri so t-2 tv2go, telekom, lpp vozni redi, itd.).
No kasneje ugotovim, da je spodnjim sosedom varovalko vn fuknl in se jim je izklopla elektrika, posledicno tut router, na katerga smo prklopleni. Dons zrihtano, se prklopm na ta router kjer sem bil ze dve leti gor in iste spletne strani ne delajo.
Od treh omreznih kablov v modemu sem pogruntu, ker je za internet in ga probu v vseh 8 kanalov na modemu vtaknit (brez drugih dveh kablov vtaknjenih v modem) na vsakmu ista zgodba, na treh pa internet sploh ne dela.
Valda klicu tehnicno podporo T2 in se noben ne oglasi, jebiga.
Ma kdo kaksno idejo, v cem je problem? A morem zadet neko kombinacijo vvkere kanale vtaknt vse 3 omrezne kable? Druga dva sploh ne vem kaj sta (TVja nimam).
2024.05.21 20:12 Lopsided-Elk-7200 Asking for help with my job
I'm 17 w mzlt ki dbrt khdma fi agence tkhrj laabed men tounes taaml maahom contract de travail fi north America wla Europe i literally have no experience i just got it andi sahby dbrha w jebni maah w moulet el agence rich asf she don't care el mohem wehd thi9a Awl nhar mfhmt chy mnich aaref kifh nousl l companies eli hchti behom w ynjmo ye9blo twensa w business partnership m3a des agences kima eli nkhdm feha w eli b3thtlhom emails ma jwbouch even tho it's professional and well written I NEED HELP WITH ALL OF THIS I don't wanna get fired
submitted by Lopsided-Elk-7200 to Tunisia [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 20:05 Major-Engineering885 Any best sites or shop from where I can get Ps5 in good price?
Hajur haru lai shop testo kei thaha xa ki aru le vanda good price ma best price ma sell garne?
submitted by Major-Engineering885 to Nepal [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 19:20 anitra_amadea Hogyan lesz valakiből 2024-ben klinikai szakpszichológus?
Sziasztok! Már az elején leszögezném, hogy inkább elméleti jellegű a kérdés, ugyanis én idén még csak a BA-n végzem és az MA után is jelenleg inkább a PhD az, ami vonz. Viszont mégis érdekelne, hogy aki MA után klinikus akar lenni, annak mégis merre kell indulnia, hogy valahogy állást kapjon és bekerüljön a képzésbe. Mindenhonnan azt hallom, hogy kihalásos alapon és/vagy kapcsolatok révén lehet valahogy, nagyon nehezen, több év próbálkozás után bekerülni, de ez pontosan hogy néz ki a gyakorlatban? Mit kell csinálnia az embernek ahhoz, hogy megnövelje az esélyét a bekerülésre?
submitted by anitra_amadea to hungary_pszichologia [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 19:19 Embarrassed_Log879 Computer Architecture and Organisation
BCT 5th ma huni Computer Organisation and Architecture ko kasari padni ho tanaab dela jasto bisaye raicha ta. Kunnai video resources xa bhaney share garnu paryo Request!🙃! 4th sem ma microprocessors ko tyo bharat ko video yahi bata paako thiye, aanandha bhathiyo. Highly Recommended pdf ki manual xa bhaney ni share garam na hai .. Andha rupma padhni kaam mero😅
submitted by Embarrassed_Log879 to IOENepal [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 18:16 4_eyed_professor Simula nung namatay ang tatay ko, araw-araw na lang akong malungkot.
Hindi kami close at bihira mag-usap, kung mag-uusap man ay sobrang saglit lang, dahil ang awkward at hindi kami sanay. Strikto siya at palaging galit. Palaging nakasigaw. Kahit malaglag lang yung kutsara papagalitan kami at makakarinig kami ng iba’t-ibang mga mura. Namana ko sa kanya ang anger issue ko ngayon. Binubugbog din ako simula no’ng bata hanggang maging college ako. As in bugbog, ha. Maraming trauma ang na-develop sa akin habang tumatanda ako. At ngayon ko na-realize na dahil pala sa kanya lahat ‘yon. Palagi rin sila nag-aaway ng nanay ko to the point na sinasaktan niya physically. May mga times kasi na gumagamit siya ng ipinagbabawal na gamot, kaya hindi maayos ang takbo ng isip niya. Namatay siya noong April 27, 2024. Wala siya sa bahay noon at sa bahay ng tatay niya siya binawian ng buhay due to heatstroke. Lumayas siya amin dahil sa pride at mataas ang ego. Hindi naman namin siya pinapaalis pero nagkusa siya. Marami siyang pagkukulang bilang isang ama. Kapag hihingi kami ng baon before ay nagagalit siya at minsan sinisigawan pa kami sa labas. Lahat ng pananakit ay naranasan namin sa kanya. Pero syempre may mga times na masaya kami kaya lang mas lamang ang hindi. Last year nakapag-usap kami nang masinsinan habang umiinom ng alak. Sinabi niya lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman niya sa katawan niya. Nanghihina na raw yung katawan niya at mataas ang sugar na umabot ng 700 plus. Tho, alam naman namin ‘to. Kaya lang ayaw niyang uminom ng gamot. Hindi siya naniniwala sa gamot. Ayaw rin magpadala sa clinic at ospital. Ang katwiran niya ay “mamamatay kung mamamatay” Matigas ang ulo. Selfish. Hindi niya iniisip yung tao sa paligid niya. Binibilhan namin ng gamot pero ayaw inumin. Kaya maaga siyang namatay sa edad na 48.
May galit ako sa kanya lalo noon. Pero bago siya mawala medyo nabawasan. Ngayon ko na-realize na sobrang mahal ko pala yung tatay ko. Araw-araw akong umiiyak na sana bumalik siya. Mas okay nang ma-trauma ako sa mga pinaggagagawa niya kaysa tuluyan siyang mawala. Kahit marami siyang masasamang ginawa sa amin mas nananaig pa rin yung pagmamahal ko sa kanya. Tang ina. Habang tina-type ko ‘to ay naluluha ako. Mag-iisang buwan na nung nawala siya pero hindi ko pa rin matanggap. Feeling ko babalik pa siya. Madami pa akong gustong sabihin at i-kwento pero ito na lang muna. Para kahit papaano gumaan ang pakiramdam ko. Ang daming alaalang naka-save sa utak ko simula nung bata pa ako na kasama ko siya. Sobrang sakit. Sobra. Ang dami kong sana na sana’y ginawa ko nung buhay pa siya. Tang ina.
submitted by 4_eyed_professor to adviceph [link] [comments]
May galit ako sa kanya lalo noon. Pero bago siya mawala medyo nabawasan. Ngayon ko na-realize na sobrang mahal ko pala yung tatay ko. Araw-araw akong umiiyak na sana bumalik siya. Mas okay nang ma-trauma ako sa mga pinaggagagawa niya kaysa tuluyan siyang mawala. Kahit marami siyang masasamang ginawa sa amin mas nananaig pa rin yung pagmamahal ko sa kanya. Tang ina. Habang tina-type ko ‘to ay naluluha ako. Mag-iisang buwan na nung nawala siya pero hindi ko pa rin matanggap. Feeling ko babalik pa siya. Madami pa akong gustong sabihin at i-kwento pero ito na lang muna. Para kahit papaano gumaan ang pakiramdam ko. Ang daming alaalang naka-save sa utak ko simula nung bata pa ako na kasama ko siya. Sobrang sakit. Sobra. Ang dami kong sana na sana’y ginawa ko nung buhay pa siya. Tang ina.
2024.05.21 18:09 Even-Positive-8511 Yeah I'm that weirdest weirdo jisko Spotify me achhi playlist banana nahi aata(muje kya pasand he mere ko khud nahi pata🥲), aapki playlists me konse songs he? post a sc here
 | My most Heard playlist is music which is Random mashup of every type of just musics(me vo chigma male vala Banda nahi hu agar ise dikhke aapko aesa lag rha h to..) submitted by Even-Positive-8511 to indiasocial [link] [comments] Second most Heard playlist I hear is game theme musics(yeahhhh, you saw correctly) Then there is eng & L playlist jinhe kabi kabi sunte sunte purane yaado k gam me kho jata hu isliye hi chalu nai karta mostly... Meri playlist aesi hi kachre jesi h isliye muje jab koi playlist share karne ko bolta h tab muje bohot embarrassing lagta h kyuki muje khud nahi pata muje kya pasand h aur playlist bataunga to weirdo hi lagunga😬 Please guys, songs sunne ki field me meri ittu si bi expertise nai he, so help me get better in these stuff... (a decent tier 2 city is my hometown and people around my sorroundings are so better than me in this but still...🥲🥲) |
2024.05.21 18:01 Ohwowbabeeee69 Looking to sell some of my Texier Collection dm me if interested I have other players too!
 | I was recently in a car accident and trying to sell things quickly for some cash thanks! submitted by Ohwowbabeeee69 to BlueJackets [link] [comments] |
2024.05.21 17:53 xoxefo3952 Womanizer Wife (On-going) PDF at Novel Online ni Dehjeon_desu na Babasahin nang Libre - Romance Mga Kuwento Tagalog
Si Kheene Cuenco ay anak nang nagmamay-ari ng isang Make-up Brand Company. Matalino, mabait, gwapo at mapagmahal but still iniwan pa din siya ng kaniyang kasintahan. Kagagaling lang niya sa isang break-up nang magkaroon ng malaking problema ang kanilang kompanya, at para ma-resolba ito ay kailangan niyang pakasalan ang lesbian na anak ng kaibigan ng kaniyang ama. Inaasahan niya na hindi ito matutuloy, ngunit nagka-mali siya. Sa kanilang matagal na pagsa-sama ay hindi namamalayan ni Kheene na nahuhulog na pala siya dito. Pilit man niyang pigilin ang nararamdaman pero mas lalo lang ito lumala. Ngunit naisip niya, paano siya nito mamahalin pabalik kung ang gusto nito ay babae? Matatagalan ba siya nito maka-sama o tulad ng una niyang kasintahan ay iiwan din siya nito sa huli? Read more
submitted by xoxefo3952 to Novelideas [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 17:47 Reasonable_Tutor6278 Iskolai véleménnyilvánítás
Sziasztok, lenne pár kérdésem az iskolai véleménnyilvánítással kapcsolatban. Nos első sorban arról lenne szó, hogy én leírtam egy saját véleményt egy tanáromnak az iskoláról és a korrupt rendszerről ami itt van és ezt úgy tettem meg, hogy az ne sértse a személyi jogait, ne legyen semmiféle lejárató dolog és leírtam neki, másnap felhív az igazgató, hogy mit képzelek magamról hogy ilyeneket írkálok és rámcsapta a telefont, ma nem voltam bent személyi okok miatt, de biztos forrásból tudom, hogy már ki akarnak rúgni, illetve olyan jelzőkkel illetnek meg engem, hogy "Pszichopata" illetve, hogy "Nárcisztikus" és kérdem én, ha nem mondhatom el a saját véleményemet, de ők ilyen jelzőkkel bélyegeznek meg engem, akkor mi ez az egész rendszer? Mi lett volna, ha az egész dolog amit ők elmondtak rólam szarul esik? (Hozzá fűzném, amelyik tanárnak elküldtem a kritikámat ő egyből le is tiltott, érdekes nem?) Egyébként itt van "A magyar alkotmány 61. § (1) bekezdése szerint: „A Magyar Köztársaságban mindenkinek joga van a szabad véleménynyilvánításra.” A véleménynyilvánítás szabadsága legegyszerűbben azt a morális jogot jelenti, hogy mindenki azt mondjon, amit akar." Ez idáig oké lenne, de akkor nem értem, hogy ők miért nem fogadják a kritikát? (Megjegyzem, az igazgató aki polgármester és a matek tanárom egyben, fideszes és rengetegszer hazudik a diákoknak. Vicc az egész.)
Erről mi a véleményetek?
submitted by Reasonable_Tutor6278 to hungary [link] [comments]
Erről mi a véleményetek?
2024.05.21 17:31 Efficient_Week6697 What I love most about Delhi
Delhi gets a lot of shit for its people being 'rude', safety issues and other things. Honestly, a lot of the criticism is valid. There is a lot of work Delhi has to do, but that doesn't take away the fact that it is still great as it is.
One of the best things about Delhi, by far, is that it is a complete melting pot of cultures from all over India. I have genuinely met people from nearly all corners of the country growing up in this city. Sometimes the people get a rep for being 'rude' but really the people of Delhi are just brash, unabashed and unapologetic, in a good way. There are lots of shitty people too. But if you come here from any part of the country you're sure to find someone who'll drag you by your feet to assimilate and you will find a sense of belonging soon enough. The strength is amplified by the fact that there is no set language and culture that defines Delhi. You will find tons of Hindi accents in this city itself. There are people from different states and all of them are equally "Delhite".
Not to discount the rich heritage of this place. The excellent infrastructure of Lutyens Delhi highlighting the British era, alongside the unique indo-islamic architecture in the special monuments from the Mughal era. The food is also unmatched. From the famous Old Delhi cuisine to all the popular chhole bhature places, with the underrated spots too difficult to count, there's just incredible variety. There's also the national museum, one of the best in the country. There's the partition museum, and Ghalib ki Haveli too. Late night ice cream at India Gate is a vibe of its own.
While I've been raving a lot about Delhi, there is definitely a lot that Delhi has to work on, in terms of safety for women. Pollution, safety issues and close-minded people are some of the challenges for Delhi to undertake, but I'm optimistic that the future of this city is bright. It's a city that will welcome you with open arms, no matter where you're from. The people are blunt, unapologetic and don't hold back. But they are also welcoming. Anyone can assimilate into the vibe and ethos of the city, and that is beautiful. It's a city that will give you a lot to talk shit about. You will at times hate it and talk about how dogshit it is, but it's still home.
submitted by Efficient_Week6697 to delhi [link] [comments]
One of the best things about Delhi, by far, is that it is a complete melting pot of cultures from all over India. I have genuinely met people from nearly all corners of the country growing up in this city. Sometimes the people get a rep for being 'rude' but really the people of Delhi are just brash, unabashed and unapologetic, in a good way. There are lots of shitty people too. But if you come here from any part of the country you're sure to find someone who'll drag you by your feet to assimilate and you will find a sense of belonging soon enough. The strength is amplified by the fact that there is no set language and culture that defines Delhi. You will find tons of Hindi accents in this city itself. There are people from different states and all of them are equally "Delhite".
Not to discount the rich heritage of this place. The excellent infrastructure of Lutyens Delhi highlighting the British era, alongside the unique indo-islamic architecture in the special monuments from the Mughal era. The food is also unmatched. From the famous Old Delhi cuisine to all the popular chhole bhature places, with the underrated spots too difficult to count, there's just incredible variety. There's also the national museum, one of the best in the country. There's the partition museum, and Ghalib ki Haveli too. Late night ice cream at India Gate is a vibe of its own.
While I've been raving a lot about Delhi, there is definitely a lot that Delhi has to work on, in terms of safety for women. Pollution, safety issues and close-minded people are some of the challenges for Delhi to undertake, but I'm optimistic that the future of this city is bright. It's a city that will welcome you with open arms, no matter where you're from. The people are blunt, unapologetic and don't hold back. But they are also welcoming. Anyone can assimilate into the vibe and ethos of the city, and that is beautiful. It's a city that will give you a lot to talk shit about. You will at times hate it and talk about how dogshit it is, but it's still home.
2024.05.21 17:28 urmomdad-1-2-3 Bhaiyo help kardo pls
So thoda rantish hai but ab itna depress hogaya , andar se khoon bahar bhagna chahta hai har taana sunke ....ghar pe sun sunke baatein itna sad hu ki pata nahi kya karu ...boards cbse mein 92.2 hai and mains me 98.21 percentile and bitsat me 247....kuch thikthak mil sakta hai ispe tho bata do jo reputated ho ....samaj ki nak katai ki daar se reputation of colg imporatnat ban gai ma baap ki ....help kardo pls hoe sake tho...bohot cuties ho saare ke saare jo help kardega, meri 100 positive vibes tumhe har help pe
submitted by urmomdad-1-2-3 to JEENEETards [link] [comments]