CW: description of poop and pain and vomit and mild thoughts of self harm
So technically its not ibs but its very adjacent and I do have ibs too and I really need a place to complain and maybe get advice!
About a month ago I suddenly got what we though was food poisoning and would pass in a few days, but as you can probably guess it didnt... 3 trips to the ER over the course of a month and no answers! A month of barely eating, constant nausea, constant diarrhea, weeks of a UTI, and abdominal pain! I'm past my limit! They did give me antibiotics on April 17th during my ER trip for the UTI but that's it! Said to wait it out! At my last trip to the ER a day ago (may 12) they had to prescribe me a sedative cause I'm just crying and hysterical constantly! I had to run to the toilet 14 times that day! With visits averaging an hour on the toilet each time!
They also gave me 2 "hardcore" antibiotics on my recent trip since there's been no answers from all the tests besides the fact I still had a UTI! Blood tests each time i went, a CT scan, and a poop sample, and yet no answers!!
And now the antibiotics are wrecking my stomach even worse! I do hope they help and I know I have to take them but after sitting on the toilet, legs bruised from the seat, leaking bright orange mucous poop out my butt and having been nauseous all damn day im just so tired of it! I had to put a folding tv tray table in the bathroom to lean on just to give my back a break and be able to put my head down!
I get no break! Its just constant! And the nausea means I'm eating soooo little! All I've had today was 5 chicken nuggets and half a sleeve of saltines! I know more food would probably help thicken up my poops and make them easier to deal with but I just can't! I'm barely able to get enough water in me at this point! Even my blood tests show im not eating enough. And on top of that I have to take the 3 pills from the hospital Plus 4 more pills that I take daily. Pills are like half of my food intake right now and as you can imagine its upsetting my stomach even more and slowing absorption of the meds and just generally leaving me with terrible acid reflux on top of the nausea!
And I'm barely getting sleep! I was up 26 hours on the 12th (the ER visit day) only got 7 hours of sleep after that and now I've been up 15 hours since then and it doesn't look like I'll be getting any rest any time soon since the symptoms are only getting worse with the antibiotics! I used my tried and true Immodium and it only gave me maybe 3 hours of not pooping, but still with the pain and cramps and nausea.
I'm just beyond my limit, like sobbing on the toilet clutching the small trashcan (for vomit) and clinging to my poor girlfriend begging for anything that could help even though I know nothing we have will.
I do have an appointment with a mental health care person tomorrow (well technically today cause its 3am) and I have people who can make sure I'm ok luckily but its been so rough. I dont have the best mental health on normal days let alone after a month of starvation and torture! I was practically begging them to admit me to the hospital but they just won't since they're "mild" symptoms.
Any advice or stories of your own bad times or anything to distract me is so appreciated!

Hello everybody!
This is my cautionary tale and potential advice!
As you are probably aware, women on the spectrum are more likely to have eating disorders. Moreover we are more likely to not get sufficient or direct instructions from our doctors regarding our medical care. Below is my story on how that hurt my health and wellbeing.
Since I was a child I was a picky eater, with limited food I would accept and not a big apetite. I was also a very thin person, could not put on any weight no matter what I tried. I remember first learning what anemia is when I was 9 or 10. I struggled with my blood for years after that, despite diets and supplements. At some point I accepted that this is just what my body is like and I will be forever underweight and anemic.
Suddenly in high school I learned I developed lactose intolerance. I was devastated because diary was one of my go-to foods and a main breakfast food (either cereal or cheese sandwitch/toast). It was near impossible at that time to find any lactose-free products where I live and so my diet had to drastically change. Overnight I stopped my usual breakfast and went lactose free. That alone was a big issue but then suddenly I developped unusual headaches, dizzyness and chills.
My parents (with a history of dismissal of my health concerns) thought I am pretending to skip school. Luckily I was over 16 and scheduled my own doctor visit behind their back. Before the visit [warning: gross] I had an unexpected toilet visit with green feces. I was surprised but put it down to eating something green and not noticing. Doctor sent me for blood tests and included iron levels knowing my anemia history and worrying I have dangerously low iron levels again. Surprise surprise, my iron levels were through the roof. Turns out you can poison yourself with iron supplements. Doctor was surprised, ordered me off of any iron supplements I was taking.
I only learned years later (in university course on farmacotherapy) that drinking milk with iron pills significantly decreses their effectivness. Suddenly it all made sense. It even explained why I got worse again once lactose-free products became available (but not as bad as before).
Since then I learned that there is a lot of different interactions with medication and food you consume around the time of taking your drugs. Make sure to check grapefruit interactions if you're on antyhistamines, xanax or others, and check for St. John's Wort if you're on antidepressants.
TL:DR I overdosed on iron supplements because I stopped drinking milk everyday.

Reddit Account: u/Thenn_Applicant
Discord Tag: Garin
Name and House: Dorian Merryweather
Age: 49
Cultural Group: Reachman
Appearance: [Dorian's chestnut brown hair has been greying for quite a while, however is short beard retains more color, including a few stray red hairs peppered throughout it. While his features have softened and gained some pudge as he aged past his prime, he remains in overall good shape. This is partly due to his great love of gardening and crop cultivation, which have left his hands and nails rather rough.](Dodin-Bouffant-The-Taste-of-Things-Vest.webp (500×650) (williamjacket.com))
Trait: Numerate
Skills: Avaricious (e), Architect, Administrator, Investor
Talents: Language (High Valyrian) Cooking, Gardening
Negative Trait: N/A
Starting Title: Lord of Longtable
Starting Location: Opening Event
Biography:
It has been said; men grow tired of sleep, love, singing and dancing, sooner than war. As such, it begs the question, what does a man have left when he finally tires of war? In pursuit of an answer, of any answer, one half of Dorian Merryweather’s life was spent. He was the second son of Lord Arthor Merryweather of Longtable. Like many others born in a place of natural abundance, he longed for more, for something greater than a mere provincial estate. The tourneys of Highgarden, the hunts of Horn Hill and the books of Oldtown all called to him, and so he could never ride past his father’s mild and verdant fields fast enough. Dorian counted himself lucky not to be the heir, for that meant he could pick where his future lay, unchained from the uninspiring home of his childhood. Instead it was his older brother, Bennard, who envied his free-flying lifestyle, contriving any excuse to join him on his escapades and agurk lessons and ceremonies he ought to have attended.
Lord Arthor was fairly permissive of this deriliction of duties, as the friendships forced on such journeys were worth more than lessons that could be repeated later, or tasks that could be handed off to lowborn stewards. The boys attended tourneys, balls, hunts and feasts, living the life the bards extolled as the height of reachman’s chivalry. The one time they did not shirk their duties was when their father had the honor of hosting King Mern and his court for a tourney on the Warrior’s day. The Merryweather sons would present the king and his family with silver bowls of dilligrout, a most exquisite stew of capons, white wine and almond milk. They had the joy of tasting it once the Gardeners had their fill, a taste they would never forget. On the tournament field three days later, Mern knighted them both, though Dorian was only sixteen at the time, green as a knight could ever be.
Five years later, as news of Aegon Targaryen and his early conquests spread, the lords of the Reach were summoned to Goldengrove, where they found a veritable forest of Westermen’s banners being planted beside their own. The fall of the Storm Kings had led to a whirlwind of diplomacy between the houses of Gardener and Lannister. The plan was presented to the lords with the two kings sitting beside one another on the dais as though they were brothers. They held up Aegon’s letter of demands, scornfully reading it aloud and then proceeded to tear it up to a roaring acclamation from the hall. Standing there before the hall, Mern could hardly be called the Warrior incarnate. There stood a man well past his prime, old enough to be a grandfather and with no great victories to his name, in battle or on the tourney field. All the same, this man, whom they called their king, always seemed to know exactly what to say to win someone over. If he’d declared war on hell itself that evening, the Merryweather brothers would probably still have marched off with him when the next morning dawned. Bennard and Dorian shouted as loud as anyone, death to the foreign upstart. That evening were betrothed to westerwomen they’d never met before, made plans for a real battle, which they had never fought in before, and drank, ate and sang as though the night would last forever. House Merryweather was not able to secure a command, yet King Mern remembered his stay at Longtable fondly. He gave Bennard and Dorian a place in the vanguard, and even adorned Bennard with a brooch of the order of the green hand the morning before the army Goldengrove, a momentous honor which Bennard would cherish for the remainder of his days. He did not have many left, as it turned out. The Field of Fire began like a dream, as the two brothers rode off at the break of dawn, two out of five thousand sets of gleaming armor atop proud warhorses. By the end of the day it had become a nightmare. Caught up in the maelstrom of battle, Dorian did not see the moment when their loss was assured, but the Gods know he could hear it, the creeping, hungry flames that descended on the reachmen like an army of its own. As hundreds were broiled inside their steel plate and thousands more choked on the inferno’s horrible vanguard of black smoke, Bennard and Dorian broke and fled. They were not far behind the retreating Loren Lannister in their escape, but half a minute made all the difference. The lines of fire fanned out, hunting more living things to devour, and engulfed the two brothers. Dorian could feel how the flames spread from his surcoat to his undershirt, all the way down to the hairs on his chest, beginning to sear his skin. In a desperate act he threw himself in the Blackwater, and would have perished if not for the shoddy work of his squire that morning, which left him able to tear off his plate before he could sink. With bloodied, burn-marked fingers, he clung to the roots of a tree by the riverside, water up to his chest. He was retrieved after some time, how long he could not say. For the next two moons his mind was adrift, distracted from his pains by milk of the poppy. The next two were far worse, as he grew more lucid and realized the extent of the damage. A burn-mark stretched from his right thigh, all the way up his chest and left bicep to the apple of his neck. Many times over, flakes of dead or dying skin had to be peeled off by the maester as the scabs kept bursting with blood and clear liquid. By the end of that year he was able to walk again, though the burn mark would leave a feverish red mark across the front of his body, his new skin settling into twisted lines.
Bennard was far worse for wear, alive yet burned all the way to his face and crippled from a fall off his horse. His nose and ear-lobes had to be cut off, too burned to save, and even his eyelids were permanently scarred, unable to sprout new lashes. The more lucid Bennard became, the deeper his sorrow. Eventually he began refusing food. The new lord of Longtable would not eat anything his cooks set in front of him. In spite of his ever present pains, Dorian began going to the kitchens, reprimanding the cooks for their failings. He knew his brother well and knew his palette, and began ordering them to make his brother’s favorites. When he felt they were making mistakes, he interrupted their work himself. He was a stranger to the kitchen, yet would criticize how things were cut too roughly, spiced too little or too much. He was a terror to the cooks, yet they could not refuse him.
His attempts to intervene were however hampered by a newfound aversion to heat. The sound of the hearth, of boiling and searing, the general sense of warmth around him made him nauseous and caused his movements to seize up. Still, he went to his brother’s bedside every day, and afterwards he forced himself back to the kitchens. His sister, Lydia, tried to stop him at first, but soon found her protes fell on deaf ears, and so joined him, if only to leash him in when he went too far. Finally, there was only one dish they hadn’t tried; the dilligrout they’d once served to the late King Mern. Every time it was made, it came out wrong. It soon turned out the cook who had served them that evening six years ago had since retired, and his exact method had never been recorded or taught to anyone else. Dorian would first invite the man to Longtable, then summon him with armed knights when invitations were refused.
Theomar, the man who appeared before him, was a sorry sight, looking frightened and confused as he was taken to his old workplace. It was explained by his sons that he’d been growing senile even six years ago, often snapping at the kitchen maids under him when his memory failed him. Since then he’d gotten worse, seldom eating, let alone cooking. Something in the old man’s eyes did seem to brighten for a moment when the sounds and smells of his old kitchen surrounded him, and Dorian ordered him to make dilligrout. Before long that faint spark had been drowned out by tears. He would start boiling capon or crushing almonds, only to leave the job half-done whenever he had to fetch something new. Serving maids were put at his disposal to bring him ingredients, yet an ingredient ordered would be met with a reprimand as he seemed to forget which dish he was making every few minutes. Finally Dorian snapped at the man, grabbing him by his collar and shouting accusations of treason against House Merryweather. By the time Lydia could restrain him and try to apologize, the man was a wreck on the floor. After watching it for a while, waiting for the man to get up and continue his work, even Dorian was overcome by pity and shame for what he’d done. The old cook was praying to the gods, begging forgiveness for his failings. Dorian began to realize he’d broken a great man down and would himself beg forgiveness. He offered the man his old cook’s quarters back for the rest of his life, and promised his sons that his maester would tend to the man in his old age, that he would be fed from Longtable’s stores.
At this point, he resolved to make the dilligrout himself. Through it all, Bennard was barely clinging to life, or rather being tethered to it by the will of others. He could only be fed when drugged down by the milk of the poppy, and the more often it was used, the less effective it became. Every day Dorian braved the kitchens, yet he could not recreate the flavor of that wonderful night. It was by the grace of the gods, perhaps with Theomar as their vessel, that Dorian would even come close. The old man could no longer cook, but over time he began to wander into the kitchens and sit down on a chair. At first Dorian thought the man only sought the warmth of the hearth for his weary bones, yet he discovered it to be more than that. Theomar’s eyes were like clouded glass, yet they brightened every now and then, hearing almonds being ground, smelling capons searing in fat, as though it was stirring the kitchenmaster of yore back to life. Eventually Dorian began to walk up to the old cook with his ingredients, bidding him to smell or taste small portions. Sometimes he got simple instructions out of it, ‘too coarse’, ‘too sour’, ‘underdone’. Som times a mere nod or frown was all Theomar managed. Over the course of a couple of days, Dorian put together one final attempt to get the dish made rightWhen he arrived in Bennard’s chamber, he was met with a look which brought forth discomfort that no flame could produce in Dorian. Plainly, raspingly, his brother asked him why he wouldn’t let him die. It was easy, Bennard reasoned. All Dorian needed to do was wait and become lord. The words almost made Dorian throw the dilligrout on the floor. Almost. He placed two bowls on Bennard’s table, the dilligrout and one brimming with milk of the poppy. Dorian told his brother to make his choice. If he sought death, Dorian would let him, but he would not hear that it was an easy thing, watching his brother die. That evening, the milk of the poppy was carried away by the maester, the empty bowl of stew taken to be washed in the kitchens. From then on, Bennard ate what his brother brought him without complaint. He lasted just into the new year, dying on its tenth day. In the predawn gloom of the twelfth, Theomar died in his sleep
Dorian took up his lordly task joylessly. His old wanderlust returned, spurred by the horrible memories that now stained Longtable and the reach itself in his mind. The final straw came when their new Tyrell overlords, insisted on him marrying a lady from a dornish house. His previous betrothal had fallen through, as the parents of his western bride had not wished to draw the ire of the Targaryens by maintaining an old alliance meant to oppose them. Instead of obliging, he boarded a ship from Oldtown going east. It stopped only briefly in Planky Town before going to Tyrosh. Noting him to be a nobleman, a few of the city’s wealthy men would host him for a while, though they quickly lost interest when his lack of knowledge of trade became apparent. After that, he spent time in the markets and squares where the common people lived. His old curiosity was piqued, and he decided to embark on a quest of learning, fashioning himself another Lomas Longstrider. He moved on to Myr, and the experience was much the same in broad strokes, a few rich men showed interest and quickly lost it. As he’d visited the dye markets he went to see the city’s famous artisans at work. One thing was notably different, he met a Tyroshi woman with green-dyed hair, going by the name Maryah. She was a trader, and the two had taken the same ship to Myr. She had been to Myr before and showed him many of its secrets. They spent an entire day in one of the vast delicacy markets so she could show him the many tastes of the city. Having no plans in advance, he asked where she was headed next.
Without a second thought he would join her on a journey to Lys. He soon understood it to be a test. It was not long before she teased him, speculating he’d only joined her for a chance to see the famous pleasure houses. Evening after evening they stayed in the city and Maryah would tease and test him over the matter. Finally he told her he’d renounce his betrothal for her, that there was no one else in his eye. She laughed, replying he would not have to. The next morning, Dorian awoke to find that she was already up, the green washed from her black curls. Maryah had in fact been Joanna Dayne, his dornish bride to be, having traveled the same route as him ever since his ship stopped at Planky Town to refill its food and water. She was already quite familiar with the three closest free cities, having served as a dornish envoy on behalf of its spice traders. As they planned their return to Westeros, Joanna asked him what else in the world he wanted to see. Within a few moons of being wed, they left Westeros, not to return for three years.The journey was what his mind needed, away from the Reach, its knights and tapestries, hunts and tourneys. Ultimately, the lords and knights of his homeland, for all their songs and poetry, lived every day in preparation for war, frivolous though the preparations were. Joanna showed him a different world, the remnants of Old Valyria. War was to be sure inescapable. Wherever they went, there were soldiers, tapestries, contests of arms, and yet the cities housed something else as well, a boundless potential for creation, commerce and growth.
Thanks to Joanna Dayne’s knowledge their stays became far better planned, and they could enjoy the hospitality of wealthy locals far longer. She knew how to talk about the spice trade and similar matters, and Dorian began to pick up on it. On their second stay in Myr, he procured a great deal of fine parchment and began taking notes, everything from negotiation tactics and the prices of cloves or red peppers to court customs, as well as more eclectic pieces of knowledge, details of running an eastern estate, descriptions of technological marvels he had never seen in Westeros, and ingredients in the local food. By the time they neared Qarth he had quite the list of recipes, among other things. There he was even able to learn a few all the way from Yi Ti, as some local cooks catered to merchants from the Golden Empire. On their journey home they’d end up taking the opportunity to see the newly made port of King’s Landing. By that time, a third member had joined their journey, their infant daughter Florys. Having left Longtable in the care of his sister and steward for three years, Dorian finally accepted the responsibility of running his ancestral home.
Longtable was considered to rule over some of the best lands in the Reach, ideally situated along the river with abundant soil which could provide two grain harvests in a year. Having seen the estates which supplied the great cities of the east, Dorian was all too aware of its comparative shortcomings. He found that the abundance of the land had a counterproductive effect, breeding complacency and carelessness. From his grandiose tour of the east, he went on a painstaking tour of his own lands, trying to get an overview of everything he ruled over. He paid the citadel a fee to send him half a dozen maesters in training for a season. These young men, literate and numerate, would serve his own maester in conducting a survey of the land, giving Dorian account of all resources at his disposal as lord. The results were quite varied.
Some peasants were found to have remarkable agricultural insights which they had no way of writing down, entirely reliant on passing the knowledge to their children. Knowing the risks of such a method of transferring knowledge, Dorian ordered such insights recorded. In other places there were farmers and communities who were unwittingly exhausting their soil. Instances of lack of fallow land, excessive grazing by cows and lack of crop rotation were also made note of, followed by edicts against such heedless practices. Septons, sheriffs and tax collectors were given written copies and were obliged to read them to the peasantry wherever it was deemed necessary. It also became part of the obligations of farmers to plant a set amount of clover in their fields and pastures, a practice some had taken up on their own but which had already become a standardized law among the estates belonging to Myr and Volantis. Irrigation was expanded and land inheritance was reformed to prevent the splitting of fields past a certain threshold.
Lord Dorian was not always successful. Some eastern ideas had been useful innovations which improved conditions across the board. In time he learned that the peculiarities of the westerosi system were sometimes necessary for the sake of stability, not merely the misshapen fruits of ignorance. His attempt to enclose part of the common lands proved abortive, as it nearly caused a peasant rebellion. A procession of aggrieved smallfolk headed for Longtable had to be dispersed by knights, armed with wooden clubs to prevent needless bloodshed.Two men were hanged and five sent to the wall, but the reform was thereafter abandoned, leading the populace to calm down. Dorian was not much of a military leader and had not wielded weapons since the Field of Fire. He became aware of his need to bolster his forces, a notion reinforced by the establishment of the Black Roses not long after his return, and again with the Kingswood Catastrophe
In the meantime, he and Joanna raised a family together. Three more daughters would be born healthy, with a couple of miscarriages and a stillbirth in between, also a daughter. Their travels did not entirely come to an end. In 13 AC they would tour the northern free cities of Norvos, Qohor, Pentos, Braavos and Lorath, which they had missed on their original journey. The lion’s share of 17 AC was spent on a journey to the Summer Islands. At other times they would make shorter journeys around the Seven Kingdoms, where they felt more secure in bringing their older children along. Whether it was visiting Joanna’s family in Dorne, tourneys and feasts in the Reach and West or even one trip to see the wall, a nameday wish by Florys, they were often on the move. Like most of their peers, they frequented Oldtown and Highgarden
The growing rift between the two queens and their children was a situation Dorian would watch with dread in his heart, remembering keenly how a generation of young men had been brought to the field of fire. To his mind, the Targaryen rule ought not go to waste. Like Valyria of old, it had begun with fire and blood, yet similarly peace and prosperity had followed in its wake. If only the dragons could stand united, perhaps another long peace like the one the Freehold once enjoyed could again be established. If not, another century of blood was upon them. Under Dorian, Longtable became a place where he sought to bring together people from across the kingdoms and forge unity over the dinner table, an attitude which somewhat vexed and confounded his more militaristic daughter and heiress, Lady Florys. Even amid her questioning of the viability of his peaceful ways when surrounded by those who would make war, a terrible sight would steel his resolve, watching the Mander burning green, every bit as terrible as the flames from twenty one years prior. That night he made a simple vow, never again.
The League of the Cornucopia, he would name his little group, a gallery of lords and ladies whose acquaintances he’d made over the years. With these fellow gourmets he would share the culinary knowledge he’d gleaned from his journeys in the east and west. Most unusual for a lord of his rank, Dorian came to spend a great deal of time in his kitchens, testing out recipes himself. On occasion, the dishes he served to his guests for these small, intimate gatherings would be the work of his own hands. The membership did vary from time to time, both based on who could make it and who he sought to bring together. Rather than a fully closed circle, the League is more like a form of feasting, only it’s done for a much smaller crowd, without the public spectacle. Such occasions allowed for more refined foods which did not need to be served to hundreds and kept constantly warm over the course of hours like some common tavern stew. It also opened up an arena of more intimate diplomacy and negotiation for those who sought it, hosted on neutral ground by a lordly mediator, free from prying eyes.
Timeline:
25BC: Dorian is born, second in line to Longtable
24BC: His sister Lydia is born
9BC: House Merryweather hosts House Gardener for a tourney and feast. Dorian and his older brother Bennard serve the dish of honor to King Mern Gardener and his family. During the subsequent tourney, Mern knights both boys, despite their inexperience and lack of victory in the tourney
9BC-2BC: Dorian spends much time travelling the reach, attending events
1BC: Dorian and Bennard fight in the vanguard at the Field of Fire. Both are burned, Bennard far more severely than Dorian. Lord Merryweather is killed. Traumatized by the battle and his new maimed body, Bennard starts refusing food. Dorian desperately tries to re-create the dish they served King Mern eight years ago. The cook who made it has since gone senile, but eventually manages to help Dorian re-create it. He is given a place at court as apology for his mistreatment at Dorian's hands before this occurred.
1AC: Lord Bennard dies at the beginning of the year, leaving Dorian as lord of Longtable. His sister Lydia fulfills her betrothal to House Tarly, becoming lady of Horn Hill. At the prospect of marrying a Dornishwoman on the King's orders, Dorian decides to leave Westeros to put off his marriage. In Myr, he meets a woman calling herself Maryah, claiming to be a Tyroshi merchant. They fall in love and travel to Lys together. There Dorian promises to set aside his betrothal for her, whereupon she reveals herself as Joanna Dayne, his dornish betrothed.
1AC-4AC: Dorian and Joanna wed at Longtable, then depart on a new journey of the east. They reach as far as Qarth before turning back home. In 3AC, on the way back, their first child, Florys, is born while the couple are in Volantis, on the way home. They return via the newly built port of King's Landing.
4AC-8AC: Using knowledge from the east, Lord Dorian embarks on a project of rationalizing the agriculture of Longtable
5AC: Dorian and Joanna have their second child, a girl named Ellyn
8AC: Their third daughter, Desmera, is born
13AC: Dorian and Joanna spend a year travelling the northern free cities
14AC: Their fourth and final daughter, Gwin, is born
17AC: Dorian and Joanna undertake a journey to the Summer Islands with their children
23AC: The aftermath of the battle of Stonebridge brings back memories of the Field of Fire, as the Merryweathers watch burning slag run down the Mander
25AC: The Merryweathers travel to the celebration of the maturity of Aegon's sons
Family Tree:
Arthor Merryweather (father, d.1BC)
Cerelle Merryweather (pending family connection) (mother, d.20AC)
Bennard Merryweather (brother, d.1AC)
Lydia Merryweather (sister, b.24BC)
Glendon Merryweather (uncle, d.1BC)
Myrcella Pommingham (aunt, d.22AC)
Leo Merryweather (cousin, b.13AC)
Joanna Dayne (wife, b.26AC)
Florys Merryweather (daughter, b.3AC)
Ellyn Merryweather (daughter, b.5AC)
Desmera Merryweather (daughter, b.8AC)
Gwin Merryweather (daughter, b.13AC)
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Auxiliary Character:
Name and House: Florys Merryweather
Age: 23
Cultural Group: Reachman
Appearance: [A short, muscular woman with wavy black hair, normally worn in a bun. She has high cheekbones and a proud demeanor. Her rigid strength stands in contrast to the more relaxed nature of the Merryweather court, one she finds overly lax and casual](0_0.png (896×1344) (discordapp.com))
Trait: Hale
Skills: Swords (e), Essosi Blademaster
Talents: Dancing, Fishing, Cooking
Negative Traits: N/A
Starting Title: Heir to Longtable
Starting Location: Opening Event
Timeline:
3AC: Florys is born in Volantis, while her parents are on their way home from Essos
10AC: Florys starts training under Saathos Trevelyan, her father's Master at Arms
13 AC: She joins her parents on a tour of Pentos, Braavos, Norvos and Qohor
17AC: She travels with her parents to the Summer Islands
19AC-23AC: As she comes of age, Florys becomes more critical of her father's desire for peace, viewing it as increasingly far-fetched amid the increasingly controversial regency and the impending succession dispute. She resolves to make the kinds of connections her father seems unwilling to, in case of war
25AC: She accompanies her family to the celebrations
NPCS:
Ser Leo Merryweather (Age: 37, Archetype: Magnate) Lord Merryweather's first cousin, he has become an indispensable agent in the daily running of Longtable. Despite his foppish demeanor and aparent laziness, he is highly capable and loyal in his task of increasing his family's fortune. He remains happily unwed
Saathos Tevelyan: (Age:48, Archetype: Master at Arms) The son of a Lysene father and a Myrish mother, Saathos initially sought a career in amongst Myr's military officers, however his family's relatively low status proved an impediment to further promotion, later compounded by a dispute with a superior. He met Lord Merryweather in 3AC and eventually travelled West to offer his services five years later, finding his career progress stonewalled in his home city. Well into middle age, he still looks firm and imposing as profesisonal a soldier ought to

Hi all,
Back on Strattera again from today. Already have the headache in my forehead, drier mouth than normal, increased pressure in my eyes and cold sweats… in 1 hour and 20 minutes haha.
I know it’s a slog and I have to push through, but I’m curious if anyone found anything that helped.
I seem to recall from last time that having my pill with food helped the nausea in waiting to occur.
I’m sat at work feeling awful, but I have to try because I’m at rock bottom and need some help.
Can’t wait for spontaneous ejaculation I don’t even feel and random erections again. Guess I won’t be hugging my colleagues any time soon 😂

Please encourage native plants to save our food supply 🐝

How I keep weight on me and do back-to-back fasting?
When I do back-to-back extended fasts I go into a fasted state into a feasting state. I rapidly gain weight back from water weight, body density, muscle strength, etc. I break the fasts in different ways. Though, I prefer to break it healthy or with fruits or vegetables. Sometimes I break it with conventional foods like snacks or a microwavable vegan meal. It also depends on the fast as well. If it was a pure dry fast the whole way through then I'm breaking mostly on fruits then later some vegetables. I find it easy to gain weight back. I tend to feast on different foods. A lot of vegetables with some favorite snack foods like chips and one carby meal. Along with more snack foods like packages of cashews and some sweet snacks with not too much sugar in them.
Then my feasting window may go longer than I would like it. Then I'll move to eating pizza and plant-based burgers, potato wedges etc. So, just a lot of carbs and snacks.
The snacks really add a lot of calories very quickly. At the moment I am probably around 184lbs. After ended those back to back fasts I was probably about 181lbs. Before the start of those fasts I estimated I weighed around 195lbs. During the breaks and refeed periods I get back to working out. Full body workouts, machines weights and leg workout and cardio at the track. Carbs plus working out adds a lot of weight rapidly. Usually, after working out I start eating and I eat all night long. I'm eating something once I finish the meal, I am then snacking for the rest of the night. Along with lots of water. That adds a lot of water weight as well. All of which comes off in the first 2 days of the next fast.
Now, doing back-to-back extended fastings ultimately is reducing my weight as my overall net fat loss continues to trend downward despite feasting on refeeds. Because it's a lot of fasting. More fasting then eating basically. According to a friend 145lbs would be my weight at very low body fat percentage at 3-4% body fat levels. So, with that figure I can estimate I'm carrying about 40lbs of fat including water weight and body density, food contents. Without the dramatic weight loss in the beginning of the fast then probably around 25lbs of pure fat at this very moment. Although, at this moment my goal is not to keep lots of weight on me. I will allow my weight to trend downward to a normal body weight of 170lbs. If I wanted to keep weight then eating and feasting a lot more on carbs would do it.
How I maintained weight by living off almost exclusively an 80-90% vegetable diet along with back-to-back dry fasting for nearly an entire year of 2018?
I lived on this diet for nearly 3 years from 2017-2020. Yes, this diet really has a lot of benefits. First, there were no messy bowel movements. There was no smell. No stinky smell. Nothing. It's a diet filled with a lot of fiber. And there's very little concentration of any macronutrients. I received a lot of some nutrients but, it was slow absorption because of the large amount of fiber in the diet. I allowed myself to eat only 10g of sugar in a snack food. I barely had any conventional sugar. Sometimes, wheat bread or some variation of breads I ate outside of eating vegetables. That was as worst as my diet was during those 3 years. No meats. No cheese, no dairy, no eggs. Just vegetabes with a small amount of fruit. These vegetable mostly consisted of steamed or boiled cruciferous vegetables such as cauliflower, broccoli, brussel sprouts, and carrots, potatoes. Leafy greens, tomatoes, cucumbers, pickles, olives, string beans and salads with no sauces. Every now and then I might eat a very expensive small personal vegan pizza made out of cauliflower, vegan cheese and vegetables.
With a diet like that you would think it would be hard to maintain weight. Initially, I lost weight. Once I reached around 170-175lbs in back to back fastings. During my eating I normally feasted a few hours a day on these foods. I counted the calories and I always reached 2000 or more calories in eating. During two back to back water fasts is where I lost most of my weight from 195lbs to 178lbs. The water fasts were 13 days then followed by a 9 day fast.
Every other fasts were hard and soft dry. I was doing on average 2 extended dry fasts a month of 5-9 days then followed by 5-9 days of eating during the whole year of 2018. I feasted as much as I could every day. I probably gained 2-3lbs or more fat back.
With that diet there was very little detoxing during the first 7 days. Most of life just felt physically normal in the first 6 days of dry fasting. My body was highly adapted to it and it was as easy as driving. I never struggled with any detox, pain symptoms, fatigue, withdrawal effects. nothing. Only going to 7 days did I began to release a lot of toxins and things started dying when hitting that wall. The second crises. I never really broke through it.
I eventually reached around 168 - 170lbs. Like I said, your weight eventually trends downward with all of the fasting even though I feasted on buffets of foods. If you're naturally underweight then you would probably want to add a lot of water weight on a healthy diet or a conventional healthy carb diet through feasting. Along with weight training adding muscle seems to traps more weight on the body as well. Most people deal with being overweight in that case stick to high water content vegetables, workouts and 1 carb meal along with an abundance of vegetables and water to refeed in back to back extended dry fasts.

Play is a fundamental aspect of childhood development, fostering creativity, social skills, and cognitive growth. For children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), however, engaging in play activities can present unique challenges. In this article, we'll explore 10 autism-inclusive play ideas designed to promote development and provide enjoyable experiences for children on the autism spectrum.
Sensory Play
Sensory play engages the senses and can be particularly beneficial for children with autism who may have sensory processing differences. Consider setting up sensory bins filled with materials like rice, sand, water beads, or textured fabrics. Encourage exploration and experimentation with different textures, smells, and tactile sensations to stimulate the senses and promote sensory integration.
Pretend Play
Pretend play offers opportunities for imaginative expression and social interaction. Create a dress-up corner with costumes and props, or set up a pretend kitchen with play food and utensils. Encourage children to role-play different scenarios, such as cooking a meal, going on a pretend adventure, or acting out everyday activities. Pretend play can help develop language skills, creativity, and social understanding.
Visual Supports
Many children with autism benefit from visual supports to enhance communication and understanding. Incorporate visual supports into play activities by using picture schedules, visual timers, or visual cue cards to provide structure and predictability. Visual supports can help children navigate transitions, follow routines, and comprehend expectations, promoting independence and reducing anxiety.
Structured Games
Structured games with clear rules and expectations can provide opportunities for learning and social interaction. Choose games that are simple, repetitive, and easy to understand, such as matching games, board games with visual cues, or turn-taking activities. Structured games can help children develop important skills like turn-taking, sharing, and following directions, while also providing opportunities for fun and enjoyment.
Movement Activities
Physical activity is essential for promoting gross motor skills, coordination, and body awareness. Plan movement activities that cater to the interests and preferences of children with autism, such as yoga, dancing, or obstacle courses. Provide sensory-friendly spaces with options for proprioceptive input, such as crash pads, trampolines, or therapy swings. Movement activities not only support physical development but also help regulate sensory processing and promote emotional well-being.
Nature Exploration
Nature offers a rich sensory environment filled with opportunities for exploration and discovery. Take children on nature walks to observe plants, animals, and natural landscapes. Encourage hands-on exploration by collecting leaves, rocks, or shells, and incorporating them into sensory activities or crafts. Nature exploration fosters curiosity, appreciation for the environment, and connections with the natural world.
Art and Creativity
Art activities provide a creative outlet for self-expression and can be adapted to accommodate the needs of children with autism. Offer a variety of art materials and techniques, such as painting, drawing, collage, or sculpting. Focus on process-oriented art rather than product-focused outcomes, allowing children to explore materials freely and express themselves without pressure. Art activities support fine motor skills, creativity, and sensory exploration.
Social Stories
Social stories are short narratives that describe social situations, concepts, or expectations in a structured and visual format. Create social stories related to play activities, such as going to a playground, attending a birthday party, or participating in group games. Use simple language, clear visuals, and personalized details to help children understand what to expect and how to navigate social interactions. Social stories can reduce anxiety, improve social skills, and enhance participation in play activities.
Technology-Based Play
Technology can be a valuable tool for engaging children with autism and supporting their development. Explore interactive apps, educational games, or virtual reality experiences that cater to the interests and learning styles of children with autism. Use technology-based play activities to target specific skills, such as communication, academic concepts, or social skills, while also providing engaging and motivating experiences.
Joint Attention Activities
Joint attention refers to the ability to share attention with others and coordinate attention between objects, people, and events. Plan activities that promote joint attention, such as building with blocks, playing with toys that require turn-taking, or engaging in interactive games like peek-a-boo or pat-a-cake. Use prompts, modeling, and reinforcement to encourage children to attend to and interact with others, fostering social engagement and communication skills.
If you're seeking aba therapy for autism virginia beach,va, look no further! Our dedicated team offers comprehensive Applied Behavior Analysis services tailored to meet the individual needs of children and adults on the autism spectrum. With a focus on evidence-based interventions and personalized treatment plans, we are committed to helping individuals with autism reach their full potential and thrive in all aspects of life. Contact us today to learn more about how we can support you and your family on the journey towards growth and success.
Conclusion
Play is a powerful vehicle for promoting development, fostering social connections, and enriching the lives of children with autism. By incorporating autism-inclusive play ideas into everyday activities, we can create meaningful opportunities for learning, growth, and enjoyment. Whether through sensory exploration, imaginative play, structured games, or nature adventures, every play experience has the potential to unlock new possibilities and support the unique strengths and needs of children on the autism spectrum. Let's continue to explore, create, and play together, building a more inclusive and enriching world for all children.

Unlocking the Nutritional Powerhouse: Ragi Benefits
Ragi, also known as finger millet, is a staple grain in many parts of India and Africa. This ancient grain is gaining popularity worldwide due to its impressive nutritional profile and numerous health benefits.

Understanding Ragi

Ragi is a rich source of nutrients, including carbohydrates, dietary fiber, protein, and essential minerals such as calcium, iron, and magnesium. It is also gluten-free, making it suitable for individuals with gluten intolerance or celiac disease.

Health Benefits of Ragi

1. Rich in Calcium

Ragi is one of the best plant-based sources of calcium, crucial for maintaining bone health and preventing osteoporosis.

2. High in Dietary Fiber

The high fiber content in ragi aids digestion, promotes gut health, and helps prevent constipation.

3. Good Source of Protein

Ragi is an excellent source of plant-based protein, making it ideal for vegetarians and vegans looking to meet their protein needs.

4. Manages Diabetes

Ragi has a low glycemic index, meaning it releases glucose into the bloodstream slowly, helping regulate blood sugar levels and preventing spikes.

5. Supports Weight Loss

The high fiber and protein content in ragi contribute to increased satiety, reducing appetite and aiding weight loss efforts.

Culinary Uses of Ragi

Ragi can be consumed in various forms, including flour, whole grains, flakes, and malt. It is commonly used to make porridge, dosa, roti, and baked goods such as cookies and bread.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about Ragi

Q: Is ragi suitable for gluten-free diets? A: Yes, ragi is naturally gluten-free and safe for individuals with gluten intolerance.
Q: Can ragi be consumed by diabetics? A: Yes, ragi has a low glycemic index and can be beneficial for managing blood sugar levels.
Q: How can I incorporate ragi into my diet? A: Ragi can be used to make porridge, dosa, roti, and baked goods, or added to smoothies and soups for an extra nutritional boost.

Conclusion

In conclusion, ragi is a nutritional powerhouse packed with health benefits. By incorporating ragi into your diet, you can enjoy improved bone health, better digestion, and overall well-being. Ragi benefits are many, so choose wisely and live healthily, Read about it more here .

basically title. (tw talk of blades/knives)
i was counting the register at work the other day and found what seemed to be a sharpener of some sort in one of the drawers. without hesitating, i grabbed it and ran it across my finger to see if it was sharp enough to use for sh. and then i stopped myself and thought, what the fuck? standing in a packed cafe with who knows how many people and my brain just naturally jumps to doing this??? it happens all the time while i’m washing dishes too, especially since our knives need to be kept sharp for food prep. i have had to stop myself one too many times. it would be so much easier using those than the shitty/dull blades i have at home :// but the reason why i haven’t stolen them is because i know that access will make me sh FAR more than i do now (which really isn’t that much) and we’re obviously trying to avoid that.
the other night i was looking at the ld50 of all the medications i have access to. i see an every day ordinary object and think about how i can use it to take my life. i genuinely can’t remember the last time i felt alive, or even wanted to have a life at all lmao. i just can’t wrap my head around the fact that people can have normal brain chemistry and go about their days without experiencing a minor stressor and wanting to down all the pills in their cabinet. fucking crazy!! i’m jealous of them.

Vegan here.
I know this has already been asked a few times but I could not find a satisfactory answer. Vegan bodybuilders (or anyone who intentionally consumes more calories than is necessary for their health) are objectively unnecessarily killing animals. How can this be justified if avoiding unnecessary cruelty towards / killing of animals is the main principle most vegans abide by?
Note that even the Vegan Society’s definition of veganism is fundamentally this principle: “avoiding exploitation of and cruelty towards animals…as far as is practicable and possible”. It’s basically avoiding unnecessary exploitation of and cruelty towards animals.
Here are some responses that don’t work.

1. Vegan bodybuilders likely convince more non-vegans to be vegan as they show that it is possible to be strong on a vegan diet. This cancels out their “unnecessary” harm.

Problem: This doesn’t address the problem with unnecessary harm. Hypothetically, if i was able to convince more people to reduce their meat intake while being vegetarian than while being vegan (since meat eaters have a greater aversion to vegans), my being vegetarian would result in less cruelty towards animals. However, I’m sure we would agree that this doesn’t mean that being vegetarian is more ethical or better than being vegan.

1. We don’t know that crop production increases the overall deaths of animals (since there would probably be more killing through natural predation without crop cover), so it isn’t necessarily unethical to eat more plants than is needed.

Problem: If we kill and eat sufficiently few fish every year, we will not be increasing total deaths of fish due to there being natural predation. However, I am pretty sure that vegans wouldn’t think this is ethical.

1. Let’s focus on the more pressing issue of animal agriculture first ; we can work on eliminating crop deaths later.

Problem: This completely evades the question.
Previously, I would have argued that most crop deaths occur through pesticides, which are applied to protect our food source from animals who cannot be reasoned with. I believe killing in defence of property or an important food source is justified, even if it results in more overall deaths than killing animals who have done nothing to us directly for our benefit / food.
However, Alex had anticipated this response and rebutted it with “whose property / land is it really? We’re the ones who took that land from the animals who lived there, so how can we now kill then to “defend” this land and say it’s ethical?” I wasn’t able to come up with a good response to that.
I feel that the only rebuttal that might work is if you say that the main principle of veganism is not avoiding unnecessary cruelty towards animals but something else. In that case, what is veganism really about?

[EDIT: Just in case this wasn’t clear, Alex is using this argument to say that “unnecessarily killing / hurting animals is wrong” is not a reasonable moral principle to follow as it leads to absurdity since eating any extra calories would violate thus principle.]
Vegan here.
I know this has already been asked a few times but I could not find a satisfactory answer. Vegan bodybuilders (or anyone who intentionally consumes more calories than is necessary for their health) are objectively unnecessarily killing animals. How can this be justified if avoiding unnecessary cruelty towards / killing of animals is the main principle most vegans abide by?
Note that even the Vegan Society’s definition of veganism is fundamentally this principle: “avoiding exploitation of and cruelty towards animals…as far as is practicable and possible”. It’s basically avoiding unnecessary exploitation of and cruelty towards animals.
Here are some responses that don’t work.

1. Vegan bodybuilders likely convince more non-vegans to be vegan as they show that it is possible to be strong on a vegan diet. This cancels out their “unnecessary” harm.

Problem: This doesn’t address the problem with unnecessary harm. Hypothetically, if i was able to convince more people to reduce their meat intake while being vegetarian than while being vegan (since meat eaters have a greater aversion to vegans), my being vegetarian would result in less cruelty towards animals. However, I’m sure we would agree that this doesn’t mean that being vegetarian is more ethical or better than being vegan.

1. We don’t know that crop production increases the overall deaths of animals (since there would probably be more killing through natural predation without crop cover), so it isn’t necessarily unethical to eat more plants than is needed.

Problem: If we kill and eat sufficiently few fish every year, we will not be increasing total deaths of fish due to there being natural predation. However, I am pretty sure that vegans wouldn’t think this is ethical.

1. Let’s focus on the more pressing issue of animal agriculture first ; we can work on eliminating crop deaths later.

Problem: This completely evades the question.
Previously, I would have argued that most crop deaths occur through pesticides, which are applied to protect our food source from animals who cannot be reasoned with. I believe killing in defence of property or an important food source is justified, even if it results in more overall deaths than killing animals who have done nothing to us directly for our benefit / food.
However, Alex had anticipated this response and rebutted it with “whose property / land is it really? We’re the ones who took that land from the animals who lived there, so how can we now kill then to “defend” this land and say it’s ethical?” I wasn’t able to come up with a good response to that.
I feel that the only rebuttal that might work is if you say that the main principle of veganism is not avoiding unnecessary cruelty towards animals but something else. In that case, what is veganism really about?

Well, my son turned 16, and every year the last five years all he ever asked was for a cat. So he got two cats for his birthday 🥳. Brother and sister. They turn seven months old and Both are getting fixed in two weeks. Wish it was sooner but the vet where I live always is so full it takes months to get pets in if not an emergency.
Anyway, how do we make it not stink?
He paid $300 for a self cleaning litter box because they were so picky that if their box was not clean, they were peeing in my tortoise enclosure. They love their box, and use it well. But boy does that room stink.
It gets raked after each use and poo goes into a compartment. It is completely cleaned out and changed weekly!
We use pretty kitty litter or the kind that came with the Pet Safe litter box. He sprinkles, baking soda in it daily. And there’s airflow to his room. He washes bedding weekly. He does a full sweep and mop weekly.
They eat dry food only. They do steal dry dog food. 🤣🙄
What are we doing wrong? Is it because our male is still intact, or the female? Will this stop once they are fixed. Is the stink always there?
I don’t want my son to turn into one of those people who smell like cat litter when they go out shopping or leave the house. I don’t want people to walk up to my son’s window and smell cat. 🐱
My aunt has two cats and it’s not like this at her house.
-help-
I’m allergic to cats, not to the point that I can’t be around them, but they make me itchy, they make my eyes itch. If I take allergy pills it doesn’t trigger my asthma. So I’ve always been a dog owner. I have no idea how cats work.

Hi everyone!
I have just been bottling this up and needed to share it with people who can relate.
As mentioned in the title, I have histamine, lactose, and gluten intolerance. Plus I have been diagnosed with IBS (I guess I had all of these since I was a child, but never got diagnosed).
To avoid excruciating IBS pain, I have to completely stay away from legumes and some other foods. Plus, my body just doesn’t like eggs.
So as you can see, this really limits what foods I can have without needing to take an enzyme pill or an antihistamine.
And you all know how antihistamines have side effects, and the enzymes are only effective for minor amounts of food.
I thought I would get used to it, but lately, it’s been getting harder everyday. I just can’t imagine having to live the rest of my life like this! Like when I think of the number of days I might have to live with this super limited diet… it’s BORING and FRUSTRATING.
And here where I live, there are very limited options for me. Like I would be at the mall , and I would just have to have fries and salad, with the rest of my family/friends having everything they want.
And in the very rare occasion that I find GF things, it either tastes weird or is overpriced like crazy!
Some days, my family gets breakfast for everyone, and there is nothing for me to eat. Mom makes dinner for everyone, and I have to make something for me to eat. It’s just not a good feeling, you know?
Dinner is usually easier because I can have chicken or beef with something on the side. But breakfast and lunch are just tough tasks.
And the worst of all is when ppl start discussing and asking questions and coming up with theories…
I have reached a point where I hate food. I just wish I didn’t have to east.
My life in general has never been easy nor fun. So with the joy of food also taken away from me, I literally have no access to any source of joy.
Will I feel better if I lived by myself? Maybe.
Thank you for reading!

Friend and his long-term partner have been living in Chicago for 2 years and leave to go back home to Mexico on Friday (in 4 days). I honestly just don’t know what to get him.
He’s younger (28) and likes to travel, has a Shnauzer, likes to try different foods, plays piano, has a few tattoos. Wife teaches piano lessons. They have house plants in the apartment as well. They don’t have a lot of money. I want to get them both a gift, but his is more important. Also, his plan is to keep singing Opera, of course, but hasn’t found another Opera house to perform at yet so his future is “up in the air”, if that‘s relevant. But he has a beautiful voice so I have no doubt he will find a new place. He is a Soprano as well.
Would like the gift to be something material he can bring with him (not a meal, tickets to a show/museum etc…) and it would be nice if it were something musical themed/artistic, but doesn’t necessarily have to be.
Ideas I’ve thought of so far: an Italian theater mask, a hand-crafted wooden pen with musical theme (piano, guitar etc), Ugg gloves or nice scarf (in case he ends up somewhere cold in the future), a nice cologne (just don’t know which one). For her, I‘ll get something simple. Matching gifts could be nice too. Price range is up to $300 for him and up to $100 for her.
Any help would be greatly appreciated, of course.

This is a very long one. Trigger warning ⚠️
I (19f) have been in and out of long term/short term facilities since I was 12 years old. I’ve had suicide attempts and have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder. This is definitely not my first experience with a therapist. Over the years I’ve had over 6+. Not because they haven’t worked for me all the time, but because they either move onto another facility or I move onto another phase in life.
Last year I adopted a new therapist “Mere” thanks to my older sister “North”. My current Therapist “Tina” who I’ve been working with for the past 3 and a half years, switched to a facility where my insurance only covers 30 min sessions. North didn’t think that was enough for me at the time since I wasn’t doing so well mentally. The therapist she recommended worked closely with her own and offered 1hr long sessions, so I agreed wanting to try something new since my old therapist seemed to not specialize in trauma and ptsd. Kerr was highly recommended for those topics.
We started our sessions not soon after my sister offered. The first couple months were hard. Our personalities seemed to clash. Not because mine was bad, but because I was deeply depressed. I was not a joy to be around and everyone seemed annoyed with my constant melancholy. Even my therapists seemed sick of me.
Over time I learned to adapt my personality to be more palatable. My therapists loved it now that I was interacting with them and making jokes. I treated them more like friends now instead of therapists and they seemed to appreciate that. I found it funny because a lot of my issues I explained to them was faking my personality to fit into the crowd and adapt. Due to me being f a people pleaser. They didn’t see anything wrong with the change since I seemed to be getting better mentally.
I was better. I wouldn’t attribute much of my success to my therapists tho. It was nice to have someone to talk to since at the time I had no friends, but they didn’t seem to know how to handle my constant depression so I started to hide it from them. Even from myself. Over time I was able to function a lot better. I switched my sessions to only once every two weeks and I was planning on ending them all together since I was doing so well on my own and haven’t need much help in a while.
It seems that I ah e bad luck. Right when I was at my peak recovery and condition, I was raped on the first day of the new year. I spiraled back into my deep deep deep depression worse than any other relapse I had before. I survived on Benadryl and ice cream for weeks. I took the pills so I didn’t have to be awake to long. I ate only food that I liked the most (mainly unhealthily) my health declined.
My mental health was the worst of it tho. The day after the rape occurred I had a session with my newer therapist. I start telling her the details of my assault. The shock was still fresh in my brain and my memories were scrambled. I greatly blamed myself. I thought I was the weirdo.
Mere only confirmed my sentiments. Before I could fully list out the details of the night it happened she immediately started to spew accusations of my intentions that night. Saying phrases like “Well when someone is pleasuring you it’s hard to say no and there’s nothing wrong with that”
I shut up then and just agreed with her but something still didn’t sit right with me. I went on Reddit and there was mixed opinions about it. A lot of ppl validated my feelings and others thought It was my fault. After fully processing this event and fully remembering it in its entirety I can say confidently that what happened to me was rape.
The next session we had I was able to tell the full story. Mede had just said “Oh. Well you didn’t mention all this before. That’s definitely not ok”. The thing is tho, she was the one to cut me off and make assumptions instead of trying to pull out the full story. She knew I had extreme ptsd and I probably wouldn’t be able to give an in-depth detailed explanation of what happened. She still insulted me anyway and brushed me off.
I thought this to be weird but I brushed it off. When you think k you’re in the presence of a professional you don’t often question things especially if you aren’t in the mental space to do so. So ignored her.
There have been times where she’s been short with me. One time she had asked to switch a 12pm session to 5pm. When I refused she said she’d have to charge me a cancellation fee. It seemed that she just wanted to get paid for that session still and wanted to guilt me into paying. I refused and explained that she was the one who cancelled on me and she immediately backed down realizing I wouldn’t be easily pushed around. I didn’t think much of it then.
Another time. I had gone to this tattoo parlor to get my belly button pierced. I took videos and pictures of the process. She requested in our session that week to see the pictures. I agreed to send and emailed them to her in two emails. In one there was all the pictures of the parlor, the. The other had the videos of the full process. Accidentally I had added one singular picture of me. I was at school and I took a picture in the schools bathroom. There was nothing indecent about it I just accidentally pressed on that picture as I was sending the others. IT happened a lot when using your iPhone to email and I didn’t really notice.
She brought it up the next session and started to berate me for sending that singular pic out of all the obvious other intended pictures. She said it’s inappropriate to send her pictures of myself. I explained to her the accident and she seemed shocked. All she said was “oh well ok”. I don’t know why she got so triggered I’ve always kept good boundaries with her. I can’t believe she immediately started accusing me for one picture of me posing in the mirror while having a turtle neck in a jacket and everything.
Those are just a few of the shady things she’s done. Now back to current time. After I was raped. I still continued sessions with her and tried to get back on track. She wasn’t really helping. I would have extreme panic attacks on therapy video calls with her and she seemed at loss of what to do. I distanced myself from her and I started to get a little better, but then I started to have issues with some of my friends. That added onto my load of issues and started to push me to the edge.
I called my therapist the night of my attempt. I try not to call her after hours but I was in genuine crisis. I had spent the whole day being practically verbally abused by one of my friends. I was cracking slowly it surely and I reached out for help.
Otp I expressed to her how I felt betrayed by everyone around me. I asked her why everyone felt it was ok to treat me wrong whenever. Why wasn’t I able to find peace? Why I couldn’t find ppl who cared? My parents are emotionally abusive as well. That all stems into my ppl pleasing habits. I’ve let a lot of ppl take advantage of my nature because I’ve been conditioned to since birth. She knows my history and why I am the way I am. Instead of consoling me she yelled at me. “Well you knew they were bad ppl!” “If you knew they were bad ppl why are you blaming them you just need to stop hanging around bad ppl”. She then told me she had to go and hung up. She did ask me if I was safe but of course I lied. She knows I always try to see the best in ppl. I don’t see the bad till it’s too late most times. Her words stung like acid. I had been prescribed some sedatives to calm me during panic attacks. I had taken two but they weren’t helping. After that call I took the whole bottle. I didn’t want to die alone so I called my mother to stay in my room with me. Then I drifted into a deep sleep for hours into the next day’s afternoon. I had fallen asleep around 10 pm. I woke up the next day around 3pm still kicking but disordered.
I spent two weeks in a mental hospital. During that time I do t have access to my phone. I had my sister contact everyone that needed to be. Even Mere. She knew I was in there. I didn’t call her while I was there bc I was still upset at her after everything.
I was discharged but I didn’t set up a session for weeks. She emailed and called me once but I didn’t respond till I was fully settled back into my routine and okay enough to talk to her. I emailed her this
“Hallo, Sorry. I didn’t mean to ghost you. I just needed some time to get myself together. I called you just now. You are probably busy. I hope everything is doing well on your end. Sorry again. Sent from my iPhone”
I had planned to set up an appointment in the future to talk to her about everything but by the time I checked my patient portal a week or so later I had been discharged with no warning. No calm text or email.
I set up a meeting with her over the phone for 45 mins. When she first came onto the call the first thing she said was “I saw that you put our appointment for 45 mins. I changed it to 30 bc you know I did discharge you”. I thought it was pretty rude so instead of explaining everything I told her about how I didn’t have my phone in the hospital and the hospital themselves didn’t notify her because they were disorganized and were extremely unprofessional. It’s not like she wasn’t updated by my sisters anyway. When I got my phone after I got home I saw texts from her asking if I was still having a session with her. Knowing that I was in the hospital. It seemed she either didn’t care or didn’t believe I was in the hospital. In fact when she had spoken over the phone with one of my sisters she had lied to them about that night. She had told her “After I got otp with her I immediately started praying for her because I m ew something was deeply wrong” how delusional of her to say after she yelled at me and hung up.
Anyway after I explained my reasoning for going MIA she started to realize how fucked up she was and asked me how I was doing. I didn’t say much because I was done with her and she obviously didn’t intend of hearing the full story since she shortened our session. She started asking me why I didn’t want to continue therapy and seemed confused why I didn’t seem to beg her to re admit me. I told her I was done with therapy. She seemed concerned and said that she discharged me because she thought it’d be better for me to find an in person therapist. I knew it was a shitty excuse. I quickly hang up on her and don’t address anything.
I’m only processing this now because I’ve had much bigger things going on. I’m only now realizing how fucked up her behavior was. If I hadn’t spoken to her the night of my attempt I probably wouldn’t have tried to kill myself. I feel cheated out of help. I don’t feel angry at her I have to reserve that for someone more worthy of my rage. I only wished she didn’t use the fact that I would never call her out on her behavior usually. She knew my temperament and took advantage of that. I don’t think I’ll ever trust a therapist again. She victim blamed me, mocked me, berated me in my time of need, and then abandoned me on baseless assumptions that could’ve been easily cleared up if she actually listened to what my sisters and I were saying. She didn’t even say sorry when we were talking. Or express any remorse besides embarrassment for jumping to conclusions. SMH.
TLDR: My therapist berated me for trusting ppl in my life the night of my suicide attempt. Then Discharged me from her care without consulting me first. Blamed me for all her mistakes and jumped to conclusions randomly then never apologized for the baseless accusations. I am at a loss for words and at a loss for trust in therapy again.

***correction: Giving ME mushrooms
So it all started when I (36f) asked Alexa to play indie music and voila! Alexa played, “Trip to Paris” by Lana del Rey. It was a particular nice evening. My children were coloring, the wind was caressing the garden that we could see through the window. The house smelled of homemade food on the stove top. It had been a particularly beautiful day overall. So when the song started playing I was immediately transported into a whimsical moment filled with fairies, green luscious trees and as you guessed it, mushrooms. I felt like my house was suddenly the scene of a fairytale and the only thing missing was pixie dust.
That’s is when this insane idea came over me. I suddenly thought that my kitchen needed a theme! Yes, a theme. I already have tons of plants, monsteras are taking over my dining room. Why not collect cute little mushroom figurines here and there to brighten up the entire house. We’re talking about mushroom decor, just so we’re clear.
Well; low and behold! Once I announced my kitchen’s theme inspired by Lana del Rey. The mushrooms started pouring in. It started with relatives bringing cute little mushrooms when they’d come visit. Then my daughter started clay modeling mushrooms and how can I say no to her loving art.
Then mother’s day came along and I got mushroom keychains, mushroom shirts, mushroom decor, mushroom wallet, mushroom stickers. I have so many mushrooms I might be tripping.
Anyway, I love all the mushrooms and it’s really fun but we’re only 2 months in to my mushroom theme… and now there’s a 1 foot sized mushroom made out of cedar sitting by the chimney. What will happen to my house a year from now!? My house will be filled with so many mushroom things.
So do I say something or do I embrace this new mushroom era?
I didn’t know how enthusiastic my family would be to fulfill my new collection.

We've been dating for a little over a year and a half, and despite a lot of the things he does that really get on my nerves, I still love him more than anything and I want to get married to him someday. Please take everything I'm about to say with a grain of salt and don't come at my throat, there's just a lot of things that unnecessarily piss me off and my boyfriend does a lot of them.
We're both on the autism spectrum, but on vastly different sides of it. I'm more quiet and reclusive and I tend to keep my interests to myself unless someone else likes it mutually. I'll only really ramble about something if someone's curious and wants me to talk about it, but otherwise I understand that most people don't want to just be bombarded with information. My boyfriend, on the other hand, will literally spam my DMs at times with tangents about the Fortnite lore or some technological stuff that I don't understand. I'm fine with him rambling about his interests, but it's really overwhelming when it's just a massive wall of text and I'm not involved with the conversation whatsoever, just trying to awkwardly take in this information. He'll also do this thing where he'll poke me multiple times and ask if I've read through it. He'll do the same thing with songs, where he'll send me the link to a song, and then ask me if I've listened to it a few minutes later. It feels really demanding of my attention, especially if he sees that I'm currently doing something; like playing a game or drawing.
Recently, we've both been watching through MLP:FiM because he's never gotten into it while it was really popular back in the 2010s. He'll just repeat "I love [insert character]" several times even though I'm already well aware that it's his favorite character. I don't know why, but hearing someone repeating the same thing over and over again really, really irritates me. I know it's probably just an instance where he gets really attached and doesn't know what else to say, but he says it for a lot of things. Also, sometimes he says something like "wow, this episode is really great" and if I don't say something in the next few seconds, he'll follow it up with "isn't it?" and force me to respond even if I'm just trying to watch and focus on the show or I'm nonverbal. I don't understand why he wants me to acknowledge him stating that what we're currently watching is great if we're clearly both interested it, and demands my constant attention. It's like this for everything we're watching together, and I just wish he'd be quiet and watch the damn video a lot of the time instead of just saying baseless shit that's obvious.
I visited him during Christmas of 2023 and he got this Breaking Bad lego set from his dad. We wanted to build it together, but I ended up building nearly the entire thing, because he'd get frustrated so easily and give up after a few minutes. He just slept for an entire evening while I worked on it, and he kept falling asleep every time I woke him up and asked him if he could help me with it because I just wanted to do something fun with him. That was literally our entire vacation, just sitting around and doing nothing. He doesn't have a car, nor a license, and his mom was working most of the time. She drove us around to some places, like a dispensary and took us out to dinner, but I didn't want her to feel like I was taking advantage of her and asking her to take us places, and buying an uber is expensive, so we were just stuck holed up at his house. He slept for most of the day on new year's eve and I at least wanted to sit outside with him and watch some fireworks, watch the ball drop, anything. I had to wake him up 10 minutes before midnight and he literally just didn't care at all. He fell back asleep after midnight and I just felt so empty and unfulfilled after that. He doesn't like going out into public, and he hardly ever has before in his whole life, so he just sits around doing nothing all day and never wants to go out and do anything fun. Ever. Not even a walk or anything.
He has a couple of food allergies, peanuts being the most major one. I understand that a lot of food products can potentially be contaminated due to them being processed in plants that handle nuts, but he uses that as the worst possible crutch. Don't get me wrong, I want him to be safe just as much as he does, but it's getting to the point where I feel like I'm dating a toddler. He gets ultra paranoid that literally everything is contaminated with peanuts. I don't have any food allergies so I know I'll never understand how that is for him or the fear he has, but it really feels like he's using that as an excuse most of the time. He literally just eats the same 5 things. Pizza, grilled cheese, fries, dry cereal, chicken nuggets. He doesn't even bother trying new things, even if I think he'll like them, and we've quadruple checked to see if it's safe for him to eat. Now, I understand a lot of people on the autism spectrum have same/safe foods, as do I, but I got so tired of eating pizza for 3 days in a row after seeing him. If I wanted something else, I had to get it door dashed and spend extra money that I really didn't want to be spending. I really don't want to be forced to accommodate to eating those same 5 things, or to spend extra money on groceries getting stuff only he likes. I told him that I'm going to get him to try new things once we start living together, and he said that's understandable, but I already know it's going to be a fucking hassle.
A lot of his friends are assholes, especially one of his best friends who I absolutely despise. He's incredibly active in the Fortnite community and is friends with someone on twitter that has a huge following due to the fact that he posts a lot of information regarding the game and it's events. I've tried being cordial with this friend of his several times, reaching out and trying to say hi to him, just to be met with silence. He openly called me weird to my boyfriend due to the fact that I'm interested in horror related things, and he just nonchalantly told me that as if it wouldn't seriously hurt my feelings. Eventually I just gave up even trying to befriend him and told my boyfriend that I don't like him, but he'll continue to bring him up to me and it really gets on my nerves when he does, because who likes hearing about someone they don't like due to the fact that you were treated unfairly by them? He's also had multiple falling outs with this friend, where he's said and done a lot of hurtful shit, but my boyfriend keeps crawling back to him instead of just finding a better person to call his best friend.
He's extremely clingy and overly anxious. Like, dog with separation anxiety clingy. One day I left to take out the trash around my house for 15 minutes and I got back to see several messages on Discord, missed calls and texts asking me if I'm okay and if something happened to me. He literally had a full blown panic attack over the fact that I didn't get back at the exact time he would've liked. He's done this so many fucking times, I've lost count. Calling me and freaking out while I'm at work because I stayed for an extra hour. Blowing up our messages because I stopped responding to him for a little while. He gets so worked up over nothing and jumps to the worst possible conclusion, as if I died a horrific death just for being unresponsive for a little while. There was this one time his mom went out to an antique mall with his grandma, and I had to comfort him while he went into hysterics because she wasn't answering her phone after being gone for 2 hours. I kept trying to tell him that she's very likely fine and lost track of time, but he kept going on these tangents about how he doesn't know what to do without her and she's probably dead from a car accident. He gets a call from her about 30 minutes into his episode and she says that there was just no reception in the mall, and he was so embarrassed about the whole fiasco afterward. Like, yeah babe, maybe if you didn't get it into your head that your mom is dead just because she was gone longer than she said, you wouldn't have freaked out. I get it to an extent because I also have really bad anxiety, but he creates these false scenarios in his head and then immediately believes it's true. He's on meds but they don't seem to curve his anxiety at all. I've suggested he should probably find a better prescription, but never does. Every time he freaks out like this, he apologizes over and over again for it, and I forgive him every time, but he never wants to work on trying to find self soothing methods or talking himself down from something.
On the same topic of him being clingy, it's really hard for me to get any sort of alone time a lot. He messages me so much, even when I've asked him to please give me some space, he will leave me alone for a little while and then just continue to message me. He gets extremely needy if I've played a game or have been drawing for longer than he would like me to. He got mad at me once for not responding to him when he said he was going to bed while I was playing a game I was unable to pause, 2 weeks after I saw him during Christmas and he was all over me during that time. Now, every time I play a game, I get anxious about playing it for too long, otherwise he's going to be up my ass.
Before any of you ask, yes, I have talked to him about all of these things. We have a very healthy relationship and rely on communication, so our relationship isn't strained or anything. He'll just say he'll "try to be more aware" and will continue to do it the next day, so a lot of these habits are hardwired in his brain. I'm probably just going to have to continue reminding him about these things, because I feel bad about a lot of this stuff irritating me. He's really sweet and the best partner I've ever had, but god he really acts like a needy puppy at times. I'm sure there's things I do that he doesn't like either, a lot of relationships are like that. I'll either learn to live with these habits, despite my discretion, or he'll learn to break them. Either way, I just needed to get all of that off my chest.

This is a very long one.
I (19f) have been in and out of long term/short term facilities since I was 12 years old. I’ve had suicide attempts and have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder. This is definitely not my first experience with a therapist. Over the years I’ve had over 6+. Not because they haven’t worked for me all the time, but because they either move onto another facility or I move onto another phase in life.
Last year I adopted a new therapist “Mere” thanks to my older sister “North”. My current Therapist “Tina” who I’ve been working with for the past 3 and a half years, switched to a facility where my insurance only covers 30 min sessions. North didn’t think that was enough for me at the time since I wasn’t doing so well mentally. The therapist she recommended worked closely with her own and offered 1hr long sessions, so I agreed wanting to try something new since my old therapist seemed to not specialize in trauma and ptsd. Kerr was highly recommended for those topics.
We started our sessions not soon after my sister offered. The first couple months were hard. Our personalities seemed to clash. Not because mine was bad, but because I was deeply depressed. I was not a joy to be around and everyone seemed annoyed with my constant melancholy. Even my therapists seemed sick of me.
Over time I learned to adapt my personality to be more palatable. My therapists loved it now that I was interacting with them and making jokes. I treated them more like friends now instead of therapists and they seemed to appreciate that. I found it funny because a lot of my issues I explained to them was faking my personality to fit into the crowd and adapt. Due to me being f a people pleaser. They didn’t see anything wrong with the change since I seemed to be getting better mentally.
I was better. I wouldn’t attribute much of my success to my therapists tho. It was nice to have someone to talk to since at the time I had no friends, but they didn’t seem to know how to handle my constant depression so I started to hide it from them. Even from myself. Over time I was able to function a lot better. I switched my sessions to only once every two weeks and I was planning on ending them all together since I was doing so well on my own and haven’t need much help in a while.
It seems that I ah e bad luck. Right when I was at my peak recovery and condition, I was raped on the first day of the new year. I spiraled back into my deep deep deep depression worse than any other relapse I had before. I survived on Benadryl and ice cream for weeks. I took the pills so I didn’t have to be awake to long. I ate only food that I liked the most (mainly unhealthily) my health declined.
My mental health was the worst of it tho. The day after the rape occurred I had a session with my newer therapist. I start telling her the details of my assault. The shock was still fresh in my brain and my memories were scrambled. I greatly blamed myself. I thought I was the weirdo.
Mere only confirmed my sentiments. Before I could fully list out the details of the night it happened she immediately started to spew accusations of my intentions that night. Saying phrases like “Well when someone is pleasuring you it’s hard to say no and there’s nothing wrong with that”
I shut up then and just agreed with her but something still didn’t sit right with me. I went on Reddit and there was mixed opinions about it. A lot of ppl validated my feelings and others thought It was my fault. After fully processing this event and fully remembering it in its entirety I can say confidently that what happened to me was rape.
The next session we had I was able to tell the full story. Mede had just said “Oh. Well you didn’t mention all this before. That’s definitely not ok”. The thing is tho, she was the one to cut me off and make assumptions instead of trying to pull out the full story. She knew I had extreme ptsd and I probably wouldn’t be able to give an in-depth detailed explanation of what happened. She still insulted me anyway and brushed me off.
I thought this to be weird but I brushed it off. When you think k you’re in the presence of a professional you don’t often question things especially if you aren’t in the mental space to do so. So ignored her.
There have been times where she’s been short with me. One time she had asked to switch a 12pm session to 5pm. When I refused she said she’d have to charge me a cancellation fee. It seemed that she just wanted to get paid for that session still and wanted to guilt me into paying. I refused and explained that she was the one who cancelled on me and she immediately backed down realizing I wouldn’t be easily pushed around. I didn’t think much of it then.
Another time. I had gone to this tattoo parlor to get my belly button pierced. I took videos and pictures of the process. She requested in our session that week to see the pictures. I agreed to send and emailed them to her in two emails. In one there was all the pictures of the parlor, the. The other had the videos of the full process. Accidentally I had added one singular picture of me. I was at school and I took a picture in the schools bathroom. There was nothing indecent about it I just accidentally pressed on that picture as I was sending the others. IT happened a lot when using your iPhone to email and I didn’t really notice.
She brought it up the next session and started to berate me for sending that singular pic out of all the obvious other intended pictures. She said it’s inappropriate to send her pictures of myself. I explained to her the accident and she seemed shocked. All she said was “oh well ok”. I don’t know why she got so triggered I’ve always kept good boundaries with her. I can’t believe she immediately started accusing me for one picture of me posing in the mirror while having a turtle neck in a jacket and everything.
Those are just a few of the shady things she’s done. Now back to current time. After I was raped. I still continued sessions with her and tried to get back on track. She wasn’t really helping. I would have extreme panic attacks on therapy video calls with her and she seemed at loss of what to do. I distanced myself from her and I started to get a little better, but then I started to have issues with some of my friends. That added onto my load of issues and started to push me to the edge.
I called my therapist the night of my attempt. I try not to call her after hours but I was in genuine crisis. I had spent the whole day being practically verbally abused by one of my friends. I was cracking slowly it surely and I reached out for help.
Otp I expressed to her how I felt betrayed by everyone around me. I asked her why everyone felt it was ok to treat me wrong whenever. Why wasn’t I able to find peace? Why I couldn’t find ppl who cared? My parents are emotionally abusive as well. That all stems into my ppl pleasing habits. I’ve let a lot of ppl take advantage of my nature because I’ve been conditioned to since birth. She knows my history and why I am the way I am. Instead of consoling me she yelled at me. “Well you knew they were bad ppl!” “If you knew they were bad ppl why are you blaming them you just need to stop hanging around bad ppl”. She then told me she had to go and hung up. She did ask me if I was safe but of course I lied. She knows I always try to see the best in ppl. I don’t see the bad till it’s too late most times. Her words stung like acid. I had been prescribed some sedatives to calm me during panic attacks. I had taken two but they weren’t helping. After that call I took the whole bottle. I didn’t want to die alone so I called my mother to stay in my room with me. Then I drifted into a deep sleep for hours into the next day’s afternoon. I had fallen asleep around 10 pm. I woke up the next day around 3pm still kicking but disordered.
I spent two weeks in a mental hospital. During that time I do t have access to my phone. I had my sister contact everyone that needed to be. Even Mere. She knew I was in there. I didn’t call her while I was there bc I was still upset at her after everything.
I was discharged but I didn’t set up a session for weeks. She emailed and called me once but I didn’t respond till I was fully settled back into my routine and okay enough to talk to her. I emailed her this
“Hallo, Sorry. I didn’t mean to ghost you. I just needed some time to get myself together. I called you just now. You are probably busy. I hope everything is doing well on your end. Sorry again. Sent from my iPhone”
I had planned to set up an appointment in the future to talk to her about everything but by the time I checked my patient portal a week or so later I had been discharged with no warning. No calm text or email.
I set up a meeting with her over the phone for 45 mins. When she first came onto the call the first thing she said was “I saw that you put our appointment for 45 mins. I changed it to 30 bc you know I did discharge you”. I thought it was pretty rude so instead of explaining everything I told her about how I didn’t have my phone in the hospital and the hospital themselves didn’t notify her because they were disorganized and were extremely unprofessional. It’s not like she wasn’t updated by my sisters anyway. When I got my phone after I got home I saw texts from her asking if I was still having a session with her. Knowing that I was in the hospital. It seemed she either didn’t care or didn’t believe I was in the hospital. In fact when she had spoken over the phone with one of my sisters she had lied to them about that night. She had told her “After I got otp with her I immediately started praying for her because I m ew something was deeply wrong” how delusional of her to say after she yelled at me and hung up.
Anyway after I explained my reasoning for going MIA she started to realize how fucked up she was and asked me how I was doing. I didn’t say much because I was done with her and she obviously didn’t intend of hearing the full story since she shortened our session. She started asking me why I didn’t want to continue therapy and seemed confused why I didn’t seem to beg her to re admit me. I told her I was done with therapy. She seemed concerned and said that she discharged me because she thought it’d be better for me to find an in person therapist. I knew it was a shitty excuse. I quickly hang up on her and don’t address anything.
I’m only processing this now because I’ve had much bigger things going on. I’m only now realizing how fucked up her behavior was. If I hadn’t spoken to her the night of my attempt I probably wouldn’t have tried to kill myself. I feel cheated out of help. I don’t feel angry at her I have to reserve that for someone more worthy of my rage. I only wished she didn’t use the fact that I would never call her out on her behavior usually. She knew my temperament and took advantage of that. I don’t think I’ll ever trust a therapist again. She victim blamed me, mocked me, berated me in my time of need, and then abandoned me on baseless assumptions that could’ve been easily cleared up if she actually listened to what my sisters and I were saying. She didn’t even say sorry when we were talking. Or express any remorse besides embarrassment for jumping to conclusions. SMH.
TLDR: My therapist berated me for trusting ppl in my life the night of my suicide attempt. Then Discharged me from her care without consulting me first. Blamed me for all her mistakes and jumped to conclusions randomly then never apologized for the baseless accusations. I am at a loss for words and at a loss for trust in therapy again.

For context: Vitus is a new world, only a few decades old. Everyone and everything has magic, the most prevalent and relevant contributing greatly to how hard it is to die from anything... Except for starvation.
Plants have one goal. Survive. When you can't effectively use poison or thorns, everything is on the menu. Here is the problem for farmers- food is tough. Incredibly, immensely tough. Unlike animals, which invest time and mana into honing mobility and perception, plants literally just sit around, getting stepped on and bitten. Plants have nothing but vitality.
My question is, when is a plant considered dead? Animals are easy, you can just say 'when brain activity stops.'
More importantly, what effect would plants being hard to harvest, and weeds hard to get rid of, have on a civilization? How can sapients adapt? How can plants protect themselves besides shear durability?
If you need any information on the world before you can properly answer, just ask.

~Monocalcium phosphate market~ is anticipated to grow at a significant CAGR of 11.2% during the forecast period (2024-2031).The market growth is attributed to the increasingdemand formonocalcium phosphatein the food industry and the animal feed sectorglobally. Monocalcium phosphateis widely used as a feed additive for aquaculture animals and livestock and poultry breeding animals. The additional amount in the feed is generally 1.0% to 2.0%.
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Food technology advancements are driving up demand for monocalcium phosphate, a leavening ingredient used in food and beverage products. The increased demand for processed foods has led to a rise in the need for monocalcium phosphate, which is used as an emulsifier, stabilizer, and leavening agent in these products. It is widely used to improve the quality, texture, and rising of baked goods, such as bread, cakes, and pastries. The requirement for fortified meals is driving the demand for monocalcium phosphate in the food industry. Furthermore, it is projected that in the future, there will be a greater demand for monocalcium phosphate as a fortifying ingredient owing to rising health concerns and an increased awareness of the benefits of calcium and phosphorus.
full report of Monocalcium Phosphate Market available @ https://www.omrglobal.com/industry-reports/monocalcium-phosphate-market
· Market Coverage
· Market number available for – 2024-2031
· Base year- 2024
· Forecast period- 2024-2031
· Segment Covered- By Source, By Product Type, By Applications
· Competitive Landscape- Archer Daniels Midland Co., Ingredion Inc., Kerry Group Plc, Cargill
· Inc., and others
Market Segmentation
Global Monocalcium Phosphate Market by Form
o Liquid
o Powder
Global Monocalcium Phosphate Market by Functional Use
o Additive
o Leavening agent
o Acid component
Global Monocalcium Phosphate Market by Application
o Fertilizers
o Food and Beverages
o Animal Feed
o Nutraceutical and Pharmaceutical
o Others
Regional Analysis
o North America
o United States
o Canada
o Europe
o UK
o Germany
o Italy
o Spain
o France
o Rest of Europe
o Asia-Pacific
o China
o India
o Japan
o South Korea
o Rest of Asia-Pacific
o Rest of the World
o Latin America
o Middle East & Africa
Company Profiles
o AAKO B.V.
o AG CHEMI GROUP, s.r.o.
o Alborz Gostar Darou Co.
o Chivine Resources Inc.
o Foodchem International Corp.
o FOODCOM S.A.
o FOSFITALIA SPA
o Graham Chemical
o Innophos Holdings, Inc.
o J.R. Simplot Company
o Kilo Ltd.
o Master Plant-Prod Inc.
o Pestell Nutrition Inc.
o PhosAgro
o Phosphea
o PROMOIS INTERNATIONAL
o Redox Ltd.
o Rotem Kimyevi Maddeler A.?
o SBF Pharma Pvt. Ltd.
o Star Grace Mining Co., Ltd.
o TÉRVALIS GROUP (Globalfeed)
o Vishnupriya Chemicals Pvt. Ltd.
The Report Covers

• Market value data analysis of 2023 and forecast to 2031.
• Annualized market revenues ($ million) for each market segment.
• Country-wise analysis of major geographical regions.
• Key companies operating inthe global monocalcium phosphatemarket. Based on the availability of data, information related to new product launches, and relevant news is also available in the report.
• Analysis of business strategies by identifying the key market segments positioned for strong growth in the future.
• Analysis of market-entry and market expansion strategies.
• Competitive strategies by identifying ‘who-stands-where’ in the market.

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I’m at this point in life where I want to give up on everything but at the same time, I am trying to be optimistic that the situation is temporary. If I end it all, I worry who about who would take care of my cranky cat or who would water my plants. But at the same time, I am so tired of having to eat a cup of rice and instant noodles just to not starve.
I am in between jobs for a little over 2 months now. Went to job interview today and during my interview, I didnt realize that this is the time of the month. I brought enough cash for me to commute back and forth so I didn’t have money to buy tampons. I knew that if I bought the tampons, I wont have enough to ride the bus but I didnt want to mess up the job interview by worrying if I have period stains.
I didn’t eat lunch during the interview not by choice but by circumstances. Luckily, they have some snacks for applicants so I wasn’t hungry and managed to think during the interview and I surprisingly got the job.
Walking home, I should be proud and happy. But I felt so disappointed that I allowed my situation to be this bad. I grew up where money wasn’t a problem until it was. So I never realized the importance of saving money until after I lost my job and have nothing to eat. Going to food banks is a hit or miss, since most of the time they dont have enough supplies.
I will be starting my job next week and I am unsure how I’d manage to ride the bus. I am so ashamed to ask my bestfriend fro more help since shes the reason I still have a place of my own and she has been buying cat food for my cat. Everytime she asks me if I have something to eat, I just lie and say yes because it felt like I am just being a burden. I’m very lucky to have my bestfriend as she has been my support system for the longest time but I’m scared that if I constantly ask for her help, I might take advantage of her unintentionally.
I have been considering rehoming my cat but I cant bring myself to do it. Ive had her since I was a teen and I love her so much but its been forever since we ate something good and she deserves so much better even when shes the crankiest and laziest cat there is.