This is me venting but am also curious to know what everyone's relationship is like with half-siblings. Here's my story. I'm sorry in advance for how long this is, along with the grammarun-ons. I'm trying to give the Reddit community as much context as I can dating as far back as my memory takes me.
I (F 28) have two younger biological sisters (identical twins, F 25). The three of us were born after my dad married my mom (arranged marriage) after he and his first wife got divorced.
I believe my dad's first marriage lasted about 10 years. They had two kids together (my half-siblings). My older brother and I have an 8-year age difference, and my older sister and I have a 10-year age difference. Growing up, they used to visit us a few times a year including summer break or alternating holidays. Sometimes they would visit during Thanksgiving, other times during Christmas.
We used to be pretty close (at least I thought), but the relationship has become increasingly strained through the years. I understand the fact that there are ALWAYS two sides to every story, but I believe that my dad was on the right side of things and the marriage ended because two people weren't compatible and got married too young. It's always unfortunate when there are kids involved, and I'm sure it was tough with my older siblings being impacted at a young age.
It started when our grandpa (my dad's dad) passed away in November 2015. My brother suddenly stopped talking to my dad/our family immediately for whatever reason. He was the only person that didn't come to my grandpa's funeral. I honestly think he was holding a grudge that he didn't find out immediately when my grandpa passed, but I can't be too sure. We've never addressed that directly.
Fast forward 8 months to July 2016, when my dad's side of the family had a reunion at a first cousin's wedding. The vibes from my brother were like nothing had happened, and then after the wedding weekend, he was back to being silent. When my grandma (dad's mom) passed away in June 2019 he didn't show up to the funeral then either. Granted I didn't, but not because I didn't want to. I was a poor grad student and couldn't afford an $800 ticket on short notice and didn't want to burden my parents to pay for me to fly back for a couple of days either on top of how busy they were with funeral arrangements.
My brother went about 5 years to not talk to my dad or any of us. Then, out of nowhere, he calls one day to announce that he's getting married. The wedding is set for October 2022. I think he was buttering up my dad and our family to come to the wedding, because he knew it would look bad if everyone asked where his dad was for his wedding, and it would reflect poorly on him. The communication in 2022 was pretty consistent leading up to the wedding, and my older siblings would call my dad almost every weekend knowing that they needed us to show up to the wedding.
My older sister (F 38) had a baby girl in July 2018. Our dad was thrilled, his oldest daughter made him a grandpa. But there is clear separation and favoritism there, as my niece only sees her mom's side of the family being in the same area in the DMV. For those who aren't familiar with DC/MD/VA, my older sister lives in Virginia, in Arlington, and her mom lives in Herndon. About a 30-minute drive from each other. My parents live across the country in Orange County, so visits are far and few in between for my dad and his grandchild. I live on the Maryland side, and the state line between Maryland and Virginia is roughly 30 min, depending on where you go and the time of day. Anyway, I don't even know if my niece knows that she has another grandpa, outside of what she knows about my sister's mom and stepdad, and my brother-in-law's parents, who split time between the US and Nepal. I feel so bad for my dad because that's his grandkid too and everyone deserves the joy of being involved in their grandkids lives. My dad has seen my niece several times but the relationship is pretty surface level. It's not her fault, she doesn't know him like she does my sister's mom and stepdad, plus it's a proximity thing living on opposite sides of the country. We have FaceTime for these reasons though.
My husband and I aren't ready to have kids yet, and we want them. We've only been married for almost 7 months so we're still trying to live life before we settle down. I hope nothing more than to be able to give my parents a grandkid one day because I want my dad and mom to experience what they missed from my older half-siblings isolating them from their kids. That is if I'm able to have kids, I know we can't control these things.
This brings me to my next point (if you're still reading this, I appreciate you). My husband and I got married in October 2023. Our parents on both sides did everything they could to give us the wedding of our dreams, and it was everything we imagined and hoped for, and I'm forever grateful for that. I know that my wedding hit my dad harder emotionally than the first two with my older siblings because he was not at all involved during theirs. That wasn't by choice, my older siblings' mom probably didn't want him to be involved. Divorced dynamics are so confusing. You're telling me you can't come together and be civilized for a day/weekend? After my wedding, a few months later, sometime in January or February 2024, my dad called me to talk about how my sister was upset after our wedding and she vented about a few things with him on the phone. He was relaying the message over.
For context, I uploaded our wedding pictures on Facebook, because I have so many family members overseas in Nepal who weren't able to attend the wedding, and it was honestly the most convenient way to showcase our pictures since people in Nepal are ridiculously active on Facebook. My sister has social media, my brother got rid of his TwitteFacebook/Instagram/everything many years ago. Our photographer took several thousand pictures throughout the wedding weekend events, and of course, there were moments captured of my older sister and her family, including my brother-in-law, and niece. I will admit out of spite since my sister never posts anything about me and my dad/family, I tagged but then later on deleted those pictures she was in. Why would I have pictures of her on my social media when she's never posted anything of us? She doesn't even like or comment on anything on my social media, and when you have siblings, this is not something you discuss, you just do it. Duh. Over the last few days, I unfollowed her and unfriended her on Facebook and Instagram. For me, it makes no sense to keep people on my newsfeed if I don't interact with them, and I have plenty of family members and friends that I already have a strongemore communicative relationship with.
If my sister was upset about this, why did she call my dad to vent about this months later instead of coming to me? My dad told me she complained that he didn't mention her or my older brother during his speech at our wedding. But am I wrong for thinking, why would he? It's a celebration for me and my husband. I thought that was very conceited and selfish. The day wasn't about her, and my dad's speech was so heartfelt that I cried. I believe she was offended she didn't get the same during hers. However, my sister and brother never asked our dad to give a toast at their weddings. Only their mom did, which is messed up in my opinion.
I understand divorce is messy and complicated, and people go through years of therapy to fix, or maybe even never fix issues completely. It's hard, and I'm just a product of his second marriage. But I've never understood the jealousy that seems to exist, specifically between my older sister and me.
I tried reaching out to both of them in a group iMessage, talking about how I am not happy with the way they're treating our dad. My brother has stopped calling my dad completely over the last few months since his son (my dad's second grandkid) was born a few months ago in February. My sister calls maybe once a month. I wanted to confront them about this ongoing behavior and ill will toward our family. They didn't even have the guts to respond to me, I suggested if they have time to FaceTime so we can have a real adult conversation about what is their issue. My parents are flying to DC this weekend and the original plan was to drive a few hours north so they could see my brother's baby. No communication with my brother whatsoever to coordinate. I feel devastatingly sad for my dad.
I'm not even going to get into their treatment of my mom. That's another long story, but basically, it's them not giving a hoot about her, even though she's the one who took care of them and stepped up when they visited growing up. As a stepmom, it's hard to deal with kids from a previous marriage. But she did it and she loves them, and they're nothing but passive-aggressive and mean to her. They never wish her happy birthday, happy Mother's Day, or my parents happy anniversary. It takes two seconds. For me, if you disrespect my parents, you're disrespecting me.
Since then, my sister has unfollowed and unfriended everyone on social media, including my dad, my younger sisters, and my husband. All because she couldn't handle that I did that to her. I'm just not for this nasty behavior, and I know we all need to unpack a lot in therapy (me and my older siblings specifically). Their behavior is cowardly, and I can't be the only one that thinks this, right? I don't know. It didn't have to be like this. I'm sure their mom has been telling them bad things about the marriage and my dad for years. I'm not saying he probably didn't make mistakes, but there are, once again, two sides to everyone's story. None of us kids have heard both sides directly from the source, and probably never will. It makes me sad, especially for my dad. I know life will go on. I tried to reach out, and if they don't want to talk about these issues like adults, then I have nothing else to say.

This is me venting but am also curious to know what everyone's relationship is like with half-siblings. Here's my story. I'm sorry in advance for how long this is, along with the grammarun-ons. I'm trying to give the Reddit community as much context as I can dating as far back as my memory takes me.
I (F 28) have two younger biological sisters (identical twins, F 25). The three of us were born after my dad married my mom (arranged marriage) after he and his first wife got divorced.
I believe my dad's first marriage lasted about 10 years. They had two kids together (my half-siblings). My older brother and I have an 8-year age difference, and my older sister and I have a 10-year age difference. Growing up, they used to visit us a few times a year including summer break or alternating holidays. Sometimes they would visit during Thanksgiving, other times during Christmas.
We used to be pretty close (at least I thought), but the relationship has become increasingly strained through the years. I understand the fact that there are ALWAYS two sides to every story, but I believe that my dad was on the right side of things and the marriage ended because two people weren't compatible and got married too young. It's always unfortunate when there are kids involved, and I'm sure it was tough with my older siblings being impacted at a young age.
It started when our grandpa (my dad's dad) passed away in November 2015. My brother suddenly stopped talking to my dad/our family immediately for whatever reason. He was the only person that didn't come to my grandpa's funeral. I honestly think he was holding a grudge that he didn't find out immediately when my grandpa passed, but I can't be too sure. We've never addressed that directly.
Fast forward 8 months to July 2016, when my dad's side of the family had a reunion at a first cousin's wedding. The vibes from my brother were like nothing had happened, and then after the wedding weekend, he was back to being silent. When my grandma (dad's mom) passed away in June 2019 he didn't show up to the funeral then either. Granted I didn't, but not because I didn't want to. I was a poor grad student and couldn't afford an $800 ticket on short notice and didn't want to burden my parents to pay for me to fly back for a couple of days either on top of how busy they were with funeral arrangements.
My brother went about 5 years to not talk to my dad or any of us. Then, out of nowhere, he calls one day to announce that he's getting married. The wedding is set for October 2022. I think he was buttering up my dad and our family to come to the wedding, because he knew it would look bad if everyone asked where his dad was for his wedding, and it would reflect poorly on him. The communication in 2022 was pretty consistent leading up to the wedding, and my older siblings would call my dad almost every weekend knowing that they needed us to show up to the wedding.
My older sister (F 38) had a baby girl in July 2018. Our dad was thrilled, his oldest daughter made him a grandpa. But there is clear separation and favoritism there, as my niece only sees her mom's side of the family being in the same area in the DMV. For those who aren't familiar with DC/MD/VA, my older sister lives in Virginia, in Arlington, and her mom lives in Herndon. About a 30-minute drive from each other. My parents live across the country in Orange County, so visits are far and few in between for my dad and his grandchild. I live on the Maryland side, and the state line between Maryland and Virginia is roughly 30 min, depending on where you go and the time of day. Anyway, I don't even know if my niece knows that she has another grandpa, outside of what she knows about my sister's mom and stepdad, and my brother-in-law's parents, who split time between the US and Nepal. I feel so bad for my dad because that's his grandkid too and everyone deserves the joy of being involved in their grandkids lives. My dad has seen my niece several times but the relationship is pretty surface level. It's not her fault, she doesn't know him like she does my sister's mom and stepdad, plus it's a proximity thing living on opposite sides of the country. We have FaceTime for these reasons though.
My husband and I aren't ready to have kids yet, and we want them. We've only been married for almost 7 months so we're still trying to live life before we settle down. I hope nothing more than to be able to give my parents a grandkid one day because I want my dad and mom to experience what they missed from my older half-siblings isolating them from their kids. That is if I'm able to have kids, I know we can't control these things.
This brings me to my next point (if you're still reading this, I appreciate you). My husband and I got married in October 2023. Our parents on both sides did everything they could to give us the wedding of our dreams, and it was everything we imagined and hoped for, and I'm forever grateful for that. I know that my wedding hit my dad harder emotionally than the first two with my older siblings because he was not at all involved during theirs. That wasn't by choice, my older siblings' mom probably didn't want him to be involved. Divorced dynamics are so confusing. You're telling me you can't come together and be civilized for a day/weekend? After my wedding, a few months later, sometime in January or February 2024, my dad called me to talk about how my sister was upset after our wedding and she vented about a few things with him on the phone. He was relaying the message over.
For context, I uploaded our wedding pictures on Facebook, because I have so many family members overseas in Nepal who weren't able to attend the wedding, and it was honestly the most convenient way to showcase our pictures since people in Nepal are ridiculously active on Facebook. My sister has social media, my brother got rid of his TwitteFacebook/Instagram/everything many years ago. Our photographer took several thousand pictures throughout the wedding weekend events, and of course, there were moments captured of my older sister and her family, including my brother-in-law, and niece. I will admit out of spite since my sister never posts anything about me and my dad/family, I tagged but then later on deleted those pictures she was in. Why would I have pictures of her on my social media when she's never posted anything of us? She doesn't even like or comment on anything on my social media, and when you have siblings, this is not something you discuss, you just do it. Duh. Over the last few days, I unfollowed her and unfriended her on Facebook and Instagram. For me, it makes no sense to keep people on my newsfeed if I don't interact with them, and I have plenty of family members and friends that I already have a strongemore communicative relationship with.
If my sister was upset about this, why did she call my dad to vent about this months later instead of coming to me? My dad told me she complained that he didn't mention her or my older brother during his speech at our wedding. But am I wrong for thinking, why would he? It's a celebration for me and my husband. I thought that was very conceited and selfish. The day wasn't about her, and my dad's speech was so heartfelt that I cried. I believe she was offended she didn't get the same during hers. However, my sister and brother never asked our dad to give a toast at their weddings. Only their mom did, which is messed up in my opinion.
I understand divorce is messy and complicated, and people go through years of therapy to fix, or maybe even never fix issues completely. It's hard, and I'm just a product of his second marriage. But I've never understood the jealousy that seems to exist, specifically between my older sister and me.
I tried reaching out to both of them in a group iMessage, talking about how I am not happy with the way they're treating our dad. My brother has stopped calling my dad completely over the last few months since his son (my dad's second grandkid) was born a few months ago in February. My sister calls maybe once a month. I wanted to confront them about this ongoing behavior and ill will toward our family. They didn't even have the guts to respond to me, I suggested if they have time to FaceTime so we can have a real adult conversation about what is their issue. My parents are flying to DC this weekend and the original plan was to drive a few hours north so they could see my brother's baby. No communication with my brother whatsoever to coordinate. I feel devastatingly sad for my dad.
I'm not even going to get into their treatment of my mom. That's another long story, but basically, it's them not giving a hoot about her, even though she's the one who took care of them and stepped up when they visited growing up. As a stepmom, it's hard to deal with kids from a previous marriage. But she did it and she loves them, and they're nothing but passive-aggressive and mean to her. They never wish her happy birthday, happy Mother's Day, or my parents happy anniversary. It takes two seconds. For me, if you disrespect my parents, you're disrespecting me.
Since then, my sister has unfollowed and unfriended everyone on social media, including my dad, my younger sisters, and my husband. All because she couldn't handle that I did that to her. I'm just not for this nasty behavior, and I know we all need to unpack a lot in therapy (me and my older siblings specifically). Their behavior is cowardly, and I can't be the only one that thinks this, right? I don't know. It didn't have to be like this. I'm sure their mom has been telling them bad things about the marriage and my dad for years. I'm not saying he probably didn't make mistakes, but there are, once again, two sides to everyone's story. None of us kids have heard both sides directly from the source, and probably never will. It makes me sad, especially for my dad. I know life will go on. I tried to reach out, and if they don't want to talk about these issues like adults, then I have nothing else to say.

[I shared this in girls and gays but wanted to share here as well for those of you not in that sub]
With Kendrick Lamar and Drake’s rap feud raging over the last month, I got curious about what their natal charts say about each of them as rappers, and how the astrological synastry between the two has fueled this chart-topping fight. Luckily we have an accurate birth time for both Drake and Kendrick, so we can see exactly how their charts overlap.
Here’s Drake’s chart:
And here’s Kendrick’s chart:
Inconjunct Suns
Kendrick has a Gemini sun, like many of hip hop’s greatest rappers, including Notorious B.I.G., Tupac, Lauryn Hill and Outkast’s Andre 3000. Geminis are well-suited to rap as the wordsmiths of the zodiac, one of the two signs ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication. Virgo, the other sign ruled by Mercury, expresses the analytical, practical, pragmatic side of the mind, the so-called “left brain” which sorts the wheat from the chaff (and, fittingly, Virgo season aligns with the harvest season of late summer).
Gemini expresses the more playful, self-expressive, hyper-curious “right brain” side of the mind - the monkey mind that swings from branch to branch, seeing connections as it goes. “Curious to a fault, Geminis have a finger in every pie. Solar Geminis are flexible and changeable people. Usually quite clever and witty, Geminis enjoy intellectual conversations and they are easily bored if they are not getting enough mental stimulation.”
Drake is a Scorpio sun, bringing a very different energy to the table. Scorpios seek power above all, and they live life intensely. If Gemini is the court jester, taking life lightly and poking fun at it all, Scorpio is the dark knight plotting and positioning himself for a coup. As one of the two signs ruled by Mars, the planet of war and competition, Scorpios don’t back down from competition, and as a fixed modality sign, they can struggle to let go–even of what hurts them. Scorpios are drawn to the darker sides of life - they know that secrets hold power, so they tend toward privacy, as shown in Drake’s last rap beef, when Pusha T revealed that he had secretly fathered a son with a porn star.
Gemini and Scorpio have a tricky inter-dynamic, with an aspect between them known as a quincunx, or an inconjunct. Quincunxes occur when planets are 150 degrees apart, and therefore share neither an element (water, fire, earth, or air) nor a modality (cardinal, fixed, or mutable). They are at odds in a very fundamental way, and though they can teach each other a lot, in order to get along they will have to make some serious adjustments.
“When these signs get together, they just can’t understand each other. They have almost nothing in common, so it’s hard to find common ground. When a quincunx shows up in a synastry or relationship reading, this can make for a tense or difficult relationship.” This natural repelling dynamic is expressed in Kendrick’s diss song Euphoria (“I hate the way that you walk, the way that you talk/I hate the way that you dress/I hate the way you sneak diss, if I catch flight, it's gon' be direct”).
Drake’s ascendant is placed at 29 degrees Leo, exactly conjunct the royal fixed star Regulus. Regulus is one of the luckiest stars in the zodiac, and it is often seen in the charts of celebrities. “On the Ascendant, it will give a courageous and frank character. A splendid and illustrious life; glorious, mighty and commanding nature; fame, busy with many activities, bountiful resources, well known or feared in cities and regions.” But with Regulus on the ascendant, expanding the already narcissistic tendencies of Leo, there is a risk for an over-expansion of the ego and a lack of humility. Drake wants to be the best by all accounts - not just the biggest commercial superstar, which he is, but also the most critically acclaimed rapper, like Pulitzer Prize-winning Kendrick.
Mercury and Mars vs. Mercury and Venus
When it comes to analyzing writers of any sort, I like to look at their Mercuries, and here we see a fascinating contrast. Kendrick’s Mercury is located in intuitive, emotional Cancer (just like Lana del Rey, who I analyzed last week), and it is conjoined with Mars, the planet of war, which is what makes him such a formidable opponent in a rap battle. “Mercury conjunct Mars natal gives a quick mind, rapid reflexes, and a sharp tongue. These attributes are ideal for making quick decisions in the heat of the moment while others hesitate. Excellent debating skills allow you to stand up not only for yourself but for the rights of others. Your enthusiastic, direct and courageous way of expressing yourself can win admiration in politics, business, and the military.”
I think Mercury in combination with Mars is the ideal aspect for the competitive sport of rap, and interestingly enough, Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G., who famously feuded and are considered by many to be the all-time greatest rappers, both had these planets tightly combined (Tupac had Mercury trine Mars with a 1 degree orb, and Biggie had Mercury septile Mars with a 0 degree orb).
Drake, by contrast, has his Mercury conjoined with Mars’ planetary opposite, Venus. Mercury conjoined with creative Venus is a great aspect for a musician, but it lacks the teeth of competitive Mars. “Mercury conjunct Venus natal makes you a lovable, handsome, neat, refined, romantic, and courteous person. You may tend to be passive and submissive, but this is a means by which you achieve peace in your life. You can lovingly communicate things; a melodic, poetic, and relaxing voice often helps this. Mercury rules trade, and Venus rules money, so you could do well in business and enjoy buying and selling.”
Many of Drake’s biggest hits show this melodic Mercury-Venus aspect - like the no-rapping, all-singing “Hold On, We’re Going Home,” “Hotline Bling” and “One Dance,” or the purported feminist anthem “Nice for What.” Many think Drake is best as a pop star rather than a rapper, which Kendrick references in Euphoria (“I like Drake with the melodies, I don't like Drake when he act tough” “Keep makin' me dance, wavin' my hand and it won't be no threat”).
Mercury conjunct Venus should be a very positive aspect for Drake, and in many ways it is – as two of the planets that rule over money (Mercury the marketplace, and Venus the possessions), this aspect is part of why he’s had such incredible financial success. However, a few factors complicate it. For one thing, they are located together in Scorpio, ruled by Mars. His Mercury is expressed in a Venusian way, but it wants to be expressed in a Martian way. I think this is why Drake returns regularly to gangster rap despite his success in pop and R&B. He wants to be a Mercury-Mars rap powerhouse like Kendrick, Biggie, and Tupac, but he’s fundamentally different. From the beginning of his career he’s been taunted as soft, weak, feminine, privileged–all very Venusian adjectives.
Another complicating factor is that Drake’s Venus is doubly challenged - it is both in detriment in Scorpio, as well as retrograde. Venus is in detriment in Scorpio because it rules over Scorpio’s opposite, Taurus, and so the planet is not at ease in suspicious, jealous Scorpio. “Fears of being too vulnerable or of giving up their own power to others is strong. Scorpio is an “all or nothing” energy, and relationships tend to be somewhat of a rollercoaster ride as a result. Disdain for mediocrity and superficiality can compel them to create crises in order to feel alive and vital.”
Venus retrograde in the natal chart “suggests you have some difficulty in giving and receiving love and affection. You may experience sadness in love or have to endure hardship or delay. Natal Venus in retrograde can also show as excessive use of makeup and jewelry or even disfigurement from cosmetic surgery.” It’s interesting how some of the allegations against Drake in Kendrick’s songs have included a nose job and a Brazilian butt lift. After Drake told Metro Boomin to “shut up and make some drums” in his initial Kendrick diss Push Ups, the producer responded with “BBL Drizzy.”
Drake has never been married or had a public long-term relationship. His highest profile one with Rihanna was on-again, off-again, and at times seemed more like unrequited love than true commitment. When interviewed about the relationship, he said “As life takes shape and teaches you#Personal_life) your own lessons, I end up in this situation where I don't have the fairy tale [of] 'Drake started a family with Rihanna, [it's] so perfect.' It looks so good on paper [and] I wanted it too at one time.” Two years ago Drake had jeweler Alex Moss create a necklace worth $12.5 million dollars built from dozens of engagement rings he had made but never used: ““New piece titled ‘Previous Engagements’ for all the times he thought about it but never did it,” Moss wrote over a video showcasing the stunning necklace, which is made up of “42 engagement rings” totaling “351.38 carats in diamonds.”” It’s quite the testament to a challenged natal Venus.
Lilith Synastry
Here is Drake and Kendrick’s synastry (Drake is on the outer circle):
The most interesting thing I found digging into Drake and Kendrick’s charts was the presence of Lilith in their synastry. Lilith is an asteroid associated with the “angry woman” figure as well as female liberation. In some Jewish folklore Lilith was the first wife of Adam, but she was banished from the Garden of Eden for not obeying him and replaced with Eve.
“In the intricacies of a birth chart, Black Moon Lilith symbolizes the raw essence of femininity, the primal urges, and the suppressed parts of our psyche that lie in the shadows. This point, not a planet but a mathematical point, reveals where one might feel estranged, challenged, or empowered to go against the grain of societal norms. It unveils deep-seated desires, innate instincts, and perhaps the areas where one feels the need to challenge established roles or expectations. It's a place of power, mystique, and, occasionally, friction – pinpointing where one's true nature might clash with the conventional, leading to feelings of marginalization or rebellion.”
The allegations Drake and Kendrick threw at each other both had to do with mistreatment of women - Drake said that Kendrick abused his fiancée, and Kendrick said Drake was a pedophile who shouldn’t be trusted around young women.
Both Drake and Kendrick’s Liliths make tight aspects with the other’s chart. “Whenever Lilith is around, you can expect to feel a wild, intense, deep, and sometimes obsessive energy. If you have Lilith aspects in synastry then this energy will show up in your relationship. Whenever your Lilith touches one of your partner’s planets or vice-versa, you can expect to see your deepest fears revealed. You might also see glimpses of things you desire but can’t have. Ultimately, Lilith aspects in synastry give both partners a chance to work on their shadow sides.”
Kendrick’s sun exactly conjoins Drake’s Lilith at 26 degrees Gemini. “Often, the sun person [Kendrick] represents all that the Lilith person [Drake] wants but can never quite “catch.” There is an illusive vibe to this relationship. The Lilith person may feel somewhat less-than or “bad.” Lilith conjunct sun in synastry is a test for the Lilith person because their most taboo qualities such as obsession and anger will be activated, but it’s also a test for the sun person. The lesson is for the sun individual to stand their ground and follow their inner voice. Lilith is neither good nor bad, and the sun person can share in some of the Lilith partner’s activities without merging.”
This resonates with the fact that despite Drake’s huge commercial success, he is deeply jealous of Kendrick’s critical success. In Family Matters Drake took a jab at Kendrick’s acclaim (“Kendrick just opened his mouth, someone go hand him a Grammy right now”), and the beef between them played out similarly, with many rap fans deciding that Kendrick won before even listening to Drake. I think it’s obvious that Kendrick is a stronger rapper, but it’s also clear that Drake wasn’t given a fair shake.
Drake’s Lilith makes a tight trine to Kendrick’s Mercury. “Both the Lilith person and the Mercury person help each other to bring unhealed deeper wounds and unconscious emotion to the surface and articulate deeper, wild instincts. Mercury person [Kendrick] helps Lilith person [Drake] make sense of their inner restlessness and insecurities, sexual passions and unresolved rage. Mercury person may find Lilith person to be highly emotional but is also intrigued by Lilith person’s edgy and unique perspective.” It’s remarkable that both of their Liliths are interlocked with each other’s inner planets, creating a push-pull, love-hate, shadow-enlightening dynamic between the two.
I think the obsession goes both ways, and that part of the reason Kendrick fought back so viciously was because Drake triggers something in him shown through the Lilith synastry. Drake shows Kendrick what he could be–a charismatic playboy enjoying his fame and money to the fullest. And in engaging with the feud he stooped to a lower level, making unsupported claims about Drake’s supposed secret daughter, and writing a rap song (Meet the Grahams) addressed to Drake’s 5 year old son opening with “Dear Adonis, I’m sorry that man is your father.” All is fair in rap battles–or is it? Questlove called it out, saying on Instagram: “Nobody won the war. This wasn’t about skill. This was a wrestling match level mudslinging and takedown by any means necessary — women & children (& actual facts) be damned.”
Kendrick’s latest diss track Not Like Us has just debuted at number one on the Billboard Top 100, and it’s clear this battle has propelled him to another level of stardom. Drake’s Regulus ascendant arrogance and Scorpionic desire to fight to the death drove him to attack the strongest living rapper, and now he’s dealing with the fallout. Kendrick’s streams of his back catalog are up 50%, while Drake’s are down 5% and his reputation has taken a massive knock. But Kendrick has taken a hit as well. Having rap’s two biggest stars accusing each other of heinous crimes might drive up streams in the short run, but it’s a dangerous game. Astrology helps us understand why these two polar opposites are so intertwined, and why their mutual dislike has spurred on such a captivating firestorm.

Hello all! Last night, we just got bit by a major storm that knocked out power. Electricity has been out since 6:20 PM last night. Just now, at 2:30 PM, I received the word that our power will not be on until May 16th at 10 PM. By then, it will be approaching 4 days without power (and that’s just an estimate).
To make this infinitely worse, a vacation we have been planning for over a year is happening TONIGHT, and I will not be in state for the next 20 days. I will have someone checking up on them every couple of days, but that doesn’t help much as they don’t know much about fish keeping and I’m running out of time for emergency measures (and will be completely unable to perform any after midnight).
The tank is a 36 galled bowed. It has one angelfish about half grown, an adult honey gourami, and four adult cherry barbs currently (I was in the middle of slowly stocking it). I have a HOB filter, a sponge filter connected to a battery backup (which has now failed given it’s been 17 hours), and is moderately planted. The gourami has been at the surface swimming upwards to keep its head out of water even with the sponge filter going. The other fish are acting totally fine, but I’m worried for my angel since the temp has dipped to around 75-76 degrees with no heater.
I’m insanely stressed out this happened the day before the longest vacation I’ve ever taken, and I don’t want to let the tank die out. I’ve worked hard to get it where it is. Any advice to help them survive would be greatly appreciated. I’m desperate for anything currently.

[I shared this in girls and gays but wanted to share here as well for those of you not in that sub]
With Kendrick Lamar and Drake’s rap feud raging over the last month, I got curious about what their natal charts say about each of them as rappers, and how the astrological synastry between the two has fueled this chart-topping fight. Luckily we have an accurate birth time for both Drake and Kendrick, so we can see exactly how their charts overlap.
Here’s Drake’s chart:
And here’s Kendrick’s chart:
Inconjunct Suns
Kendrick has a Gemini sun, like many of hip hop’s greatest rappers, including Notorious B.I.G., Tupac, Lauryn Hill and Outkast’s Andre 3000. Geminis are well-suited to rap as the wordsmiths of the zodiac, one of the two signs ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication. Virgo, the other sign ruled by Mercury, expresses the analytical, practical, pragmatic side of the mind, the so-called “left brain” which sorts the wheat from the chaff (and, fittingly, Virgo season aligns with the harvest season of late summer).
Gemini expresses the more playful, self-expressive, hyper-curious “right brain” side of the mind - the monkey mind that swings from branch to branch, seeing connections as it goes. “Curious to a fault, Geminis have a finger in every pie. Solar Geminis are flexible and changeable people. Usually quite clever and witty, Geminis enjoy intellectual conversations and they are easily bored if they are not getting enough mental stimulation.”
Drake is a Scorpio sun, bringing a very different energy to the table. Scorpios seek power above all, and they live life intensely. If Gemini is the court jester, taking life lightly and poking fun at it all, Scorpio is the dark knight plotting and positioning himself for a coup. As one of the two signs ruled by Mars, the planet of war and competition, Scorpios don’t back down from competition, and as a fixed modality sign, they can struggle to let go–even of what hurts them. Scorpios are drawn to the darker sides of life - they know that secrets hold power, so they tend toward privacy, as shown in Drake’s last rap beef, when Pusha T revealed that he had secretly fathered a son with a porn star.
Gemini and Scorpio have a tricky inter-dynamic, with an aspect between them known as a quincunx, or an inconjunct. Quincunxes occur when planets are 150 degrees apart, and therefore share neither an element (water, fire, earth, or air) nor a modality (cardinal, fixed, or mutable). They are at odds in a very fundamental way, and though they can teach each other a lot, in order to get along they will have to make some serious adjustments.
“When these signs get together, they just can’t understand each other. They have almost nothing in common, so it’s hard to find common ground. When a quincunx shows up in a synastry or relationship reading, this can make for a tense or difficult relationship.” This natural repelling dynamic is expressed in Kendrick’s diss song Euphoria (“I hate the way that you walk, the way that you talk/I hate the way that you dress/I hate the way you sneak diss, if I catch flight, it's gon' be direct”).
Drake’s ascendant is placed at 29 degrees Leo, exactly conjunct the royal fixed star Regulus. Regulus is one of the luckiest stars in the zodiac, and it is often seen in the charts of celebrities. “On the Ascendant, it will give a courageous and frank character. A splendid and illustrious life; glorious, mighty and commanding nature; fame, busy with many activities, bountiful resources, well known or feared in cities and regions.” But with Regulus on the ascendant, expanding the already narcissistic tendencies of Leo, there is a risk for an over-expansion of the ego and a lack of humility. Drake wants to be the best by all accounts - not just the biggest commercial superstar, which he is, but also the most critically acclaimed rapper, like Pulitzer Prize-winning Kendrick.
Mercury and Mars vs. Mercury and Venus
When it comes to analyzing writers of any sort, I like to look at their Mercuries, and here we see a fascinating contrast. Kendrick’s Mercury is located in intuitive, emotional Cancer (just like Lana del Rey, who I analyzed last week), and it is conjoined with Mars, the planet of war, which is what makes him such a formidable opponent in a rap battle. “Mercury conjunct Mars natal gives a quick mind, rapid reflexes, and a sharp tongue. These attributes are ideal for making quick decisions in the heat of the moment while others hesitate. Excellent debating skills allow you to stand up not only for yourself but for the rights of others. Your enthusiastic, direct and courageous way of expressing yourself can win admiration in politics, business, and the military.”
I think Mercury in combination with Mars is the ideal aspect for the competitive sport of rap, and interestingly enough, Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G., who famously feuded and are considered by many to be the all-time greatest rappers, both had these planets tightly combined (Tupac had Mercury trine Mars with a 1 degree orb, and Biggie had Mercury septile Mars with a 0 degree orb).
Drake, by contrast, has his Mercury conjoined with Mars’ planetary opposite, Venus. Mercury conjoined with creative Venus is a great aspect for a musician, but it lacks the teeth of competitive Mars. “Mercury conjunct Venus natal makes you a lovable, handsome, neat, refined, romantic, and courteous person. You may tend to be passive and submissive, but this is a means by which you achieve peace in your life. You can lovingly communicate things; a melodic, poetic, and relaxing voice often helps this. Mercury rules trade, and Venus rules money, so you could do well in business and enjoy buying and selling.”
Many of Drake’s biggest hits show this melodic Mercury-Venus aspect - like the no-rapping, all-singing “Hold On, We’re Going Home,” “Hotline Bling” and “One Dance,” or the purported feminist anthem “Nice for What.” Many think Drake is best as a pop star rather than a rapper, which Kendrick references in Euphoria (“I like Drake with the melodies, I don't like Drake when he act tough” “Keep makin' me dance, wavin' my hand and it won't be no threat”).
Mercury conjunct Venus should be a very positive aspect for Drake, and in many ways it is – as two of the planets that rule over money (Mercury the marketplace, and Venus the possessions), this aspect is part of why he’s had such incredible financial success. However, a few factors complicate it. For one thing, they are located together in Scorpio, ruled by Mars. His Mercury is expressed in a Venusian way, but it wants to be expressed in a Martian way. I think this is why Drake returns regularly to gangster rap despite his success in pop and R&B. He wants to be a Mercury-Mars rap powerhouse like Kendrick, Biggie, and Tupac, but he’s fundamentally different. From the beginning of his career he’s been taunted as soft, weak, feminine, privileged–all very Venusian adjectives.
Another complicating factor is that Drake’s Venus is doubly challenged - it is both in detriment in Scorpio, as well as retrograde. Venus is in detriment in Scorpio because it rules over Scorpio’s opposite, Taurus, and so the planet is not at ease in suspicious, jealous Scorpio. “Fears of being too vulnerable or of giving up their own power to others is strong. Scorpio is an “all or nothing” energy, and relationships tend to be somewhat of a rollercoaster ride as a result. Disdain for mediocrity and superficiality can compel them to create crises in order to feel alive and vital.”
Venus retrograde in the natal chart “suggests you have some difficulty in giving and receiving love and affection. You may experience sadness in love or have to endure hardship or delay. Natal Venus in retrograde can also show as excessive use of makeup and jewelry or even disfigurement from cosmetic surgery.” It’s interesting how some of the allegations against Drake in Kendrick’s songs have included a nose job and a Brazilian butt lift. After Drake told Metro Boomin to “shut up and make some drums” in his initial Kendrick diss Push Ups, the producer responded with “BBL Drizzy.”
Drake has never been married or had a public long-term relationship. His highest profile one with Rihanna was on-again, off-again, and at times seemed more like unrequited love than true commitment. When interviewed about the relationship, he said “As life takes shape and teaches you#Personal_life) your own lessons, I end up in this situation where I don't have the fairy tale [of] 'Drake started a family with Rihanna, [it's] so perfect.' It looks so good on paper [and] I wanted it too at one time.” Two years ago Drake had jeweler Alex Moss create a necklace worth $12.5 million dollars built from dozens of engagement rings he had made but never used: ““New piece titled ‘Previous Engagements’ for all the times he thought about it but never did it,” Moss wrote over a video showcasing the stunning necklace, which is made up of “42 engagement rings” totaling “351.38 carats in diamonds.”” It’s quite the testament to a challenged natal Venus.
Lilith Synastry
Here is Drake and Kendrick’s synastry (Drake is on the outer circle):
The most interesting thing I found digging into Drake and Kendrick’s charts was the presence of Lilith in their synastry. Lilith is an asteroid associated with the “angry woman” figure as well as female liberation. In some Jewish folklore Lilith was the first wife of Adam, but she was banished from the Garden of Eden for not obeying him and replaced with Eve.
“In the intricacies of a birth chart, Black Moon Lilith symbolizes the raw essence of femininity, the primal urges, and the suppressed parts of our psyche that lie in the shadows. This point, not a planet but a mathematical point, reveals where one might feel estranged, challenged, or empowered to go against the grain of societal norms. It unveils deep-seated desires, innate instincts, and perhaps the areas where one feels the need to challenge established roles or expectations. It's a place of power, mystique, and, occasionally, friction – pinpointing where one's true nature might clash with the conventional, leading to feelings of marginalization or rebellion.”
The allegations Drake and Kendrick threw at each other both had to do with mistreatment of women - Drake said that Kendrick abused his fiancée, and Kendrick said Drake was a pedophile who shouldn’t be trusted around young women.
Both Drake and Kendrick’s Liliths make tight aspects with the other’s chart. “Whenever Lilith is around, you can expect to feel a wild, intense, deep, and sometimes obsessive energy. If you have Lilith aspects in synastry then this energy will show up in your relationship. Whenever your Lilith touches one of your partner’s planets or vice-versa, you can expect to see your deepest fears revealed. You might also see glimpses of things you desire but can’t have. Ultimately, Lilith aspects in synastry give both partners a chance to work on their shadow sides.”
Kendrick’s sun exactly conjoins Drake’s Lilith at 26 degrees Gemini. “Often, the sun person [Kendrick] represents all that the Lilith person [Drake] wants but can never quite “catch.” There is an illusive vibe to this relationship. The Lilith person may feel somewhat less-than or “bad.” Lilith conjunct sun in synastry is a test for the Lilith person because their most taboo qualities such as obsession and anger will be activated, but it’s also a test for the sun person. The lesson is for the sun individual to stand their ground and follow their inner voice. Lilith is neither good nor bad, and the sun person can share in some of the Lilith partner’s activities without merging.”
This resonates with the fact that despite Drake’s huge commercial success, he is deeply jealous of Kendrick’s critical success. In Family Matters Drake took a jab at Kendrick’s acclaim (“Kendrick just opened his mouth, someone go hand him a Grammy right now”), and the beef between them played out similarly, with many rap fans deciding that Kendrick won before even listening to Drake. I think it’s obvious that Kendrick is a stronger rapper, but it’s also clear that Drake wasn’t given a fair shake.
Drake’s Lilith makes a tight trine to Kendrick’s Mercury. “Both the Lilith person and the Mercury person help each other to bring unhealed deeper wounds and unconscious emotion to the surface and articulate deeper, wild instincts. Mercury person [Kendrick] helps Lilith person [Drake] make sense of their inner restlessness and insecurities, sexual passions and unresolved rage. Mercury person may find Lilith person to be highly emotional but is also intrigued by Lilith person’s edgy and unique perspective.” It’s remarkable that both of their Liliths are interlocked with each other’s inner planets, creating a push-pull, love-hate, shadow-enlightening dynamic between the two.
I think the obsession goes both ways, and that part of the reason Kendrick fought back so viciously was because Drake triggers something in him shown through the Lilith synastry. Drake shows Kendrick what he could be–a charismatic playboy enjoying his fame and money to the fullest. And in engaging with the feud he stooped to a lower level, making unsupported claims about Drake’s supposed secret daughter, and writing a rap song (Meet the Grahams) addressed to Drake’s 5 year old son opening with “Dear Adonis, I’m sorry that man is your father.” All is fair in rap battles–or is it? Questlove called it out, saying on Instagram: “Nobody won the war. This wasn’t about skill. This was a wrestling match level mudslinging and takedown by any means necessary — women & children (& actual facts) be damned.”
Kendrick’s latest diss track Not Like Us has just debuted at number one on the Billboard Top 100, and it’s clear this battle has propelled him to another level of stardom. Drake’s Regulus ascendant arrogance and Scorpionic desire to fight to the death drove him to attack the strongest living rapper, and now he’s dealing with the fallout. Kendrick’s streams of his back catalog are up 50%, while Drake’s are down 5% and his reputation has taken a massive knock. But Kendrick has taken a hit as well. Having rap’s two biggest stars accusing each other of heinous crimes might drive up streams in the short run, but it’s a dangerous game. Astrology helps us understand why these two polar opposites are so intertwined, and why their mutual dislike has spurred on such a captivating firestorm.

My idea for the GxK sequel plot would begin with Godzilla waking up from his sleep in the Colosseum and returning to Tiamat's former layer to complete his evolution. Fast forward a few months later, and Godzilla emerges from the lair, completing his evolution and starting to look a little bit more like Tiamat.
Fast forward a few years, and Monarch detects two previously unknown Titans emerge from the Hollow Earth, Titanus Qalupalik, an ugly serpent-like fish or amphibian emerging from the Arctic Circle, and Titanus Dakuwaqa, a shark Titan emerging from a portal in the sea near Kadavu Island. Monarch figures they are here to take over the niches left by Scylla and Tiamat. Godzilla encounters Qalupalik first, who is combative, and they get into a quick one-sided fight which forces Qalupalik to submit. Godzilla gives her a pass and accepts her to take Tiamat's place. Then Godzilla meets up with Dakuwaqa, who begins a ritualistic dance of sorts to gain Godzilla's approval. After Godzilla inspects him and his demeanor, he accepts Dakuwaqa to take his new territory. Then, Godzilla moves to Madagascar to rest.
On the human side of the story, public outrage over the incompetence of both Monarch and world governments to prepare for these Titan attacks is at an all-time high. Governments are now arguing over how to deal with them. Some leaders want to eliminate Godzilla because they believe Godzilla is going to attack them anyway regardless of whether they provoke him or not and that he is too powerful to let alive. Others want to focus more on a Hollow Earth takeover and declare war on the Kongs because they fear that they can plan another attack on the surface world. Monarch tries to assure them that such an event would not happen again because of their change in leadership, but many are still unconvinced. The American government, along with other NATO countries, begin investing in developing a new type of military weapon to deal with Godzilla, the Super X. They also are trying to seal up the holes left in Hong Kong, Cairo, and Rio de Janeiro to ensure nothing from the Hollow Earth can use those portals to invade the surface world again. Monarch gets into heated conflicts over world governments over the portals, as they want to keep a few open for research purposes among other things. The governments relent and allow the portal in Barbados to remain open but require them to invest in extra security in case of an emergency.
Returning to Godzilla, he is suffering from irritating skin parasites (these parasites would be Shockirus, Endoswarmers, or an original kaiju). To deal with them, he begins trying to scrape them off by rubbing himself against the seafloor near the coast of Madagascar. He also tries reaching for some with his jaws and claws. The people on the beach are witnessing this as it is happening, and once Godzilla gets rid of most of the parasites, the beachgoers realize that some of them haven't been killed yet, and as they are aggressive and still larger than humans, they emerge from the shore to attack humans. But this terror is short lived as Godzilla quickly comes in to finish them off. Godzilla then returns back to the water but stays close enough to the island where people can clearly see him. He floats in the water, similarly to a crocodile, with his head and eyes above the water. He is staring at the people and the coasts intensely, which makes the beachgoers feel uncomfortable. Then, it transitions to some flashbacks where we see Madagascar 5 million years ago. These flashbacks would likely be of Godzilla's memories of his youth, from his birth to the other megafauna that used to exist on the island back in the day. Then, it would transition to another flashback where Godzilla encounters some indigenous people on Madagascar as a more mature individual. He curiously stares at the people and the chieftain looks back with great reverence. The people bow and begin to worship him, and Godzilla continues to look at them tenderly. Returning back to the present day, Godzilla lets out a deep low bellow, which gives off the impression of sadness. In reality, Godzilla is upset that he has become more disconnected to the world he protects and now feels like his life has become nothing but fighting to protect it without being able to take pleasure in its wonders.
Switching the attention to Kong, a fight sequence occurs between Kong and another Great Ape wielding a heavy machete. They are fighting in the battle arena as some apes watch the fight while others are busy doing other things. Kong prevails and the Great Ape falls to the ground. After the fight, Kong helps the Great Ape back up. It turns out the fight was nothing more than training; one of the things Kong has begun to do since his rise to power is to teach his people self-defense. As the audience gets a better look of what life is now like in their layer, it is revealed that Kong has recruited a group of Great Apes to assist him in pushing forward his policies. For example, there is a group of Great Apes that are tasked with keeping track of their inventory and rationing their food and water for the tribe. Another group was tasked to build a safe bridge replacing the giant skeleton, which was at this point completed. Others are taking care of the children and so on. Then there are apes that are farming fields of crops, which Mothra periodically visits to pollinate. Shimo, meanwhile, is just chilling with the apes and is not confined to her pit anymore. Kong has no generals or anyone with military roles as he has no interest in conquest and does not see the need for an army at the moment. Kong also does not allow anyone to gather food or water on their own except for him, because he does not want to put anyone else in danger. He meets up with Suko after his duel and is approached by Boots, who is also now a trusted advisor to him, and is alerting him of an approaching Titan. It turns out to be a squadron of Monarch HEAVs and Jet Jaguar, piloted by Trapper. After the fight in Rio, Monarch sent expedition crews to visit the Kong lair, and were horrified by the living conditions that Skar King created. So, they planned an initiative to deliver humanitarian aid to the apes, providing them with food or water, and also trying to make diplomatic measures with them and the Iwi tribe. They have developed a new type of bioengineered crop made from various Hollow Earth flora and Titan cells to feed the apes (which can be a set-up for Biollante in a future installment) and a new type of HEAV that can carry a heavier load to transport these resources. They also created a humanoid mech named Jet Jaguar, piloted by Trapper, which serves as both a diplomat and a vet, fully equipped with veterinary tools that allow it to treat pathologies for Titans, including the Great Apes. In addition, Monarch has rebuilt the Titan Hunter with some improvements as NATO voted to force them to reconstruct it as a self-defense weapon in case of another Titan attack. Since that has not happened yet since the Rio attack, the Titan Hunter has not yet been used. Jet Jaguar and the HEAVs are arriving at the lair with another shipment of resources, including more tools for the apes to plant their own crops. While the Great Apes begin to collect the shipments from the HEAVs, Kong greets Jet Jaguar, who is here to treat a Great Ape with severe physical ailments. This ape has torn tendons and ligaments from slave labor and requires casts for all of his limbs. The challenge with treating the apes is that they are still cautious of foreigners, so Monarch has had to learn patience when working with them. They also have only one mech to perform surgeries with, so they can only treat one ape at a time. Kong and Jet Jaguar meet up with the patient, an as they perform surgery, Kong has to be with the ape to soothe and comfort him as Jet Jaguar begins surgery. After a successful surgery is completed and the Monarch team departs, Kong sits back and looks at his tribe. He begins to have feelings of self-doubt, that he is not up for the task, despite trying his best. He also still feels Skar King's presence, as the pain and damage he has caused still greatly lingers even after death. Kong begins to suffer from insomnia and nightmares from Skar King, showing his presence is still strong and relentless even after death.
Then, the Monarch team visits the Iwi city and delivers the rest of their resources which were designated for them. Here, in this scene, while the audience gets a better glimpse of what life for the Iwi is like, they also get to see Phosphera, another guardian Titan (The best explanation I can come up for why Phosphera did not show up to fight Skar King in the previous movie here would be that she was in a metamorphosing stage during the events of GxK and was too immature to safely break out of her cocoon until after the events of the movie.)
Back on the surface world, in a lab somewhere in the U.S, scientists are experimenting with a genetically modified colony of Shinomura, which would be the main antagonist(s) of the first half. These scientists work closely with the federal government. They believe that it would be more effective to genetically engineer a kaiju superbug that can quickly evolve, spread and annihilate the Hollow Earth ecosystem at much lower costs than constructing mechs which take much longer to do and a lot more money. The cells are dormant and can only be activated by exposure to radiation, which is why Godzilla does not detect them or see them as a threat. The cells are transported by a ship to North Carolina where another portal to the Hollow Earth has been opened. The military plans to release them into the Hollow Earth and then quickly seal it, but it is backfired by a group of mercenaries who attack the ship and want to take the cells for themselves. Unfortunately, the cells are released, and they are not far from a nuclear power plant which also happens to be using the pink super charged radiation gathered from the Hollow Earth, so the cells multiply and grow, turning into a swarm. The cells combine into arthropod like monsters that are too small to be Titans but large enough to attack humans. They begin attacking nuclear plants and surrounding cities while others retreat into the Hollow Earth, which catches Godzilla's attention. Mothra gains wind of it too and emerges onto the surface world to aid Godzilla. By the time Godzilla gets to North Carolina, the swarm has absorbed enough energy to combine into a singular, massive, supercharged form that rivals Godzilla in size. They begin to fight, while the military decides to resort to Plan B and send the Super X against Godzilla. The first battle is fairly even until the Super X begins to attack both Shinomura and Godzilla, blasting chunks of Shinomura away. It becomes a three-way battle until Shinomura escapes and retreats into the ocean while Godzilla is distracted fighting the Super X. Mothra eventually arrives and Godzilla and Mothra destroy the Super X. Then Godzilla pursues the main Shinomura heading for Japan while a few other smaller colonies move to other locations.
Back in the Hollow Earth, the Shinomuras that escaped there quickly grow and begin running amok on the planet. Kong is travelling with Shimo and Suko. They are gathering more food and water to bring back to the tribe, but their trip is quickly interrupted by a squadron of Shinomuras that have combined into their arthropod like forms but now rival Kong in size. Kong leaves Suko with Shimo and takes them on himself. He has no problem ripping the Shinomuras apart with his axe and bare hands. He overpowers them individually, but as the Shinomuras recombine and reshape themselves, they begin to overwhelm him. He notices Shimo and Suko are prompted to do something about it, even though he doesn't want them to, but eventually relents and retreats into a nearby body of water to shake them off of him. Kong quickly jumps out of the water and Shimo freezes and traps the Shinomuras in the water. The trio realize that even more Shinomuras are on the way and transforming into something deadlier. The three immediately turn back and run straight for the lair. As they are running, Kong gets flashbacks of being pursued by Skar King's goons; the Shinomuras remind him of the destruction and chaos that was left behind in Skar King's advance. Kong calls out to the apes farming as he makes it back to the lair and motions them to get inside immediately. He closes up the entrance and warns everyone of the emergency. He has everyone gather all of the resources they have and take refuge in Shimo's former lair, which they now use as an emergency bunker. Boots signs Kong what are they going to do next, and Kong admits he doesn't know, but he intends to be the one to check when it is safe to leave again. Meanwhile, the Iwi are in a similar predicament and Phosphera swoops in to defend the barrier against the invading Shinomuras.
In response to all of this, Monarch sends militaristic HEAVs to neutralize the Shinomuras and has Trapper (or some other character) tasked to pilot Titan Hunter to pursue the main Shinomura on the surface and kill it. Kashiwazaki is evacuated before Shinomura arrives on the scene. Shinomura begins to attack the Kashiwazaki nuclear plant when Godzilla and Mothra arrive to fight it once again. As this is happening, the other colonies arrive to other regions of the world, gaining more strength and attacking other major cities. Godzilla notices this and is conflicted on how to deal with the threats as he is fighting, but Jet Jaguar arrives in Kashiwazaki to fight Shinomura. Godzilla charges up to attack Titan Hunter, thinking he is a threat to him just like the Super X, but Trapper notices this and bows to Godzilla before he can attack. Godzilla accepts this surrender, but quickly shifts his attention back to the Shinomura. Eventually, Titan Hunter, Godzilla, and Mothra defeat the Shinomura, but soon after, several Shinomura supercolonies that supercharged themselves on Hollow Earth energy have reemerged on the surface world to the point where there is at least one attacking each continent of the world. The largest and most powerful colony is in the Yucca Mountain Nuclear West Repository in Nevada. Godzilla is forced to send his alpha call and awaken all of the surface Titans to attack the Shinomuras, so battles begin breaking out across the world. But Godzilla realizes it is not enough and ventures into the Hollow Earth to get more help. Mothra and the Titan Hunter stay behind to hold the line while Godzilla is away and Mothra moves on to Nevada to tackle the Shinomura there, and the Titan Hunter follows her.
Most of the Titans appear to be holding their ground for the most part, but not outright winning either. However, they start to have more problems as some Titans take advantage of the chaos to pursue ulterior motives. Amhuluk wants to fight to claim his desired territory in the Amazon again and travels to the Amazon to fight Behemoth over it and causing a three-way fight between them and the Shinomura colony attacking the region. Meanwhile, in the Hollow Earth, Camazotz reemerges and sends his minions out to devour everything in their path, including the smaller Shinomuras. So Amhuluk and Camazotz become the main antagonists during the second half. Some of the hell swarm attacks the ape lair, and Kong leaves to confront them before they break through. He is able to kill a large number of them, but there are too many for him to handle, forcing him to retreat back into the lair. Several escape into the lair, which Kong is able to kill. When he reunites with his people, he gets more flashbacks of his memories of both Camazotz and Skar King. The attack of the hell swarm reminds him of the invasion Skar King launched against the Hollow Earth and surface world a few years back.
Godzilla travels through oceanic Hollow Earth portals and passes through various ruins of extinct Hollow Earth civilizations along the way. He detects Amhuluk's movements and realizes what he is doing. Godzilla gets really mad, but reluctantly continues on his current path as going back to confront Amhuluk would take up too much time and energy. He makes it into the Hollow Earth and heads over to the ape lair and finishes off the rest of the hell swarm that was still attacking the lair. Afterwards, he charges up his breath and blasts the entrance open again, startling all of the apes. Kong grabs his axe and gets in a defensive position, but after hearing a roar realizes it is Godzilla. He calmly walks into the ape lair, but the other great apes become angry and leave the bunker to mob, surround and harass Godzilla. Godzilla does his best not to escalate tensions, but snaps his jaws, hisses, and sometimes pushes the apes away. Kong roars at the apes and directs them to move away from him. The apes follow his orders and Kong approaches Godzilla. He realizes that he has called on him for help against the Shinomuras. Kong decides to go with Godzilla but does not want to bring Shimo or any of the apes with him. The apes beg for him not to go, and even Shimo seems to cry out for Kong to stay, but he rejects allowing any of his people to put themselves in danger, and he puts Boots in charge while he is away. He says one final goodbye to Suko and leaves with Godzilla.
They have to fight off many smaller Shinomuras while travelling to the surface world while heading for Nevada. Meanwhile, Mothra and the Titan Hunter are already there fighting with the super Shinomura colony. The fight is rather even, but Trapper feels like the fight is going to quicky turn against their favor if they do not get backup soon. Some drones and fighter jets arrive to strike the Shinomura. Eventually, Godzilla and Kong arrive to fight the Shinomura, but Kong notices the Titan Hunter, and has a vision of Skar King, seeing both the Titan Hunter and Skar King as the embodiment of cruelty, destruction, and conquest. Kong attacks the Titan Hunter out of anger, forcing Godzilla to be the one to shove Kong away and break it up. Kong takes a closer look at the Titan Hunter and realizes that it is not the same pilot as the one that hunted Hollow Earth fauna. The Titan Hunter bows to Kong to show he is on the same side and they resume fighting the Shinomura. So, a large portion of the movie would be showing scenes of the Titans fighting the Shinomuras at random intervals, giving a glimpse of what is going on in all of the areas where fights are happening.
Shifting back to Godzilla and Kong's fight, things begin to look grim as more Shinomuras arrive from the Hollow Earth and combine with the supercolony, and Godzilla, Kong, Mothra, and the Titan Hunter begin to struggle against it. Godzilla is still capable of holding some of his ground, while Kong and Mothra are forced to step back as close-range combat is no longer viable. The Titan Hunter gets beaten up really bad and seems to be done for until an ice blast hits the Shinomura. It is Boots, who is riding Shimo, and has gathered the strongest and physically capable apes to help their leader (A fairly large number of fit apes were left behind to care for the elderly and the children). Kong does not know whether to feel happy that his people have his back or mad that they disobeyed his orders but regroups with them regardless and regain their edge against the Shinomura. Then we see more scenes of the other fights going on around the world before Kong's army, Shimo, Godzilla, Mothra, and the Titan Hunter defeat the super Shinomura. While the organic Titans return to the Hollow Earth to finish off the Shinomuras still running around in there, the Titan Hunter lags behind from all of the damage it has sustained, but the pilot persists with helping the Titans.
Back in the Hollow Earth, Godzilla, Mothra, Kong's army, and Shimo run through the Hollow Earth, assisting the local fauna in fighting off the Shinomuras. The Titan Hunter tries its best to follow them and fight off the Shinomuras, but they eventually overwhelm them, forcing the pilot to eject himself. Luckily, a HEAV is nearby and is able to rescue him. Then, a good chunk of the plot would then focus on shifting back between the Hollow Earth fight and the rest of the fights happening on the surface. Kong directs a portion of his army to join Phosphera in defending the Iwi city, which is now under attack by both Shinomuras and Camazotz's minions. Phosphera is close to dying (and eventually does), but the apes are able to kill most of the enemies while the rest retreat. Godzilla and Kong split up, with Kong pursuing Camazotz and Godzilla returning to the surface to confront Amhuluk. Kong leaves Boots in charge of his army and takes a few other trusted friends of his to confront Camazotz, but Shimo follows them, wanting to accompany them. Kong gets more flashbacks of Skar King when he used Shimo to try to execute him, and Kong was unwilling to let Shimo go with them since he did not want to use her for fighting his enemies. Shimo persists and eventually Kong reluctantly lets her join them.
Back on the surface world, Behemoth is not faring well against Amhuluk. The Shinomura colonies in the eastern hemisphere begin to lose the fight and as some of them are killed, the victor Titans travel to regions of the world where they still persist. In South America, however, the Shinomura colonies are still giving the defending Titans a hard time. Behemoth and Amhuluk killed the Shinomura colony, but to Behemoth's dismay, Amhuluk absorbs the remains of the Shinomura colony. It is close to killing Behemoth until Rodan shows up to fight Amhuluk. Rodan quickly gets the upper hand over Amhuluk with his airborne abilities and greater agility. But Amhuluk is not affected that much by Rodan's fiery attacks, as he reinforced his body with fire resistant plants like redwoods. The tables turn on Rodan until Godzilla emerges to fight Amhuluk. So Rodan and Godzilla tag team Amhuluk while Behemoth tries to get the strength to get back up.
Meanwhile, back in the Hollow Earth, Kong, his few trustees, and Shimo are looking for Camazotz and travel through a dark, stormy stretch of rough, mountainous terrain. They find Camazotz in a plateau surrounded by a supercell. They see that Camazotz's minions are feeding him, and he is gaining strength from the radiation that his minions got from hunting Shinomuras. So, Kong, his trustees, and Shimo fight the hell swarm and Camazotz. At this point, the Shinomuras are losing out on the fight with a few large colonies remaining, and Amhuluk and Camazotz become the main threats now. The plot then moves on to showcase some of the final remaining fights between defending Titans and the last Shinomura colonies and see the fights end with the Shinomuras killed. So, the main focus turns to Godzilla's fight, Kong's fight, the fight at the Iwi city barrier, and Boots' crusade to kill the last Shinomuras, which is coming to an end. The fight between Kong and his allies and Camazotz eventually breaks through onto the surface in Canada. Camazotz creates a supercell storm and begins getting an upper hand against Kong and his allies with his new power up. Back in Brazil, Godzilla eventually kills Amhuluk and Rodan and Godzilla both head to Canada. Behemoth gets the strength to get back up.
Back in Canada, Kong and the apes come up with a new strategy to cover their ears with dirt as protection against Camazotz's sonic screams. Kong then tries to do the same with Shimo, but when he does, Shimo does not like the sensation and pushes Kong away. He does not bother trying again and tries to kill all of the minions which are biting him and the apes and causing too much blood loss. Shimo does not fare well against Camazotz despite her size as his cyclone and sonic scream overwhelm her ice breath. Eventually, Mothra emerges to fight him after dealing with the last of the Shinomuras and blasts him with her god rays. Highly stunned and weakened, Kong grabs ahold of Camazotz and notices Rodan approaching to help. He throws him at Rodan's direction, who grabs him with his talons and starts burning him. He holds him in place for Mothra to shoot Camazotz with her webbing. Then Rodan drops Camazotz and Kong finishes him off.
Godzilla arrives onto the scene not long after and shoots his atomic breath to eliminate Camazotz's storm. With all of the hostile Titans dead, Godzilla almost sends the Titans back to sleep, but Mothra approaches him and begins to communicate. The plot then ends with Godzilla returning to Madagascar to take a rest at the coast and watch life as it happens on the island. Kong returns to his people in victory, and they are finally able to leave their lair safely. And Mothra takes over Godzilla's role of balancer, allowing Godzilla to take his well-deserved vacation. This idea of a plotline would mean the movie would be 2 hr 30 min or even 3 hrs so we get the most fighting sequences out of it. I know I glossed over a lot of the human aspects and that I left a lot of the specifics of how a lot of the fights between most of the unseen KOTM Titans would look like, so let me know what your thoughts on this are.

TLDR; My kids don't like their dad, even so far as resent him because he is always working.
I (f30) have been with my husband (m30) for 12 years. Together we have a ten year old daughter and a five year old son. Both special needs. Husband is suspected to be on the spectrum.
My husband and I grew up in vastly different childhoods. He is an immigrant from the Philippines and had a family that showed no affection or love. I, however, grew up with a Mom who never let us forget how much she loved us. This has played a big role in our parenting styles.
My husband and my daughter have never had the best relationship. To my perspective it seem that he just doesn't know how to act with kids. They are also so alike that they can butt heads. When my son was born, my husband had a much easier time bonding with him. Up until 1.5 years old, they were two peas in a pod. My daughter was 6 when I had my son, and she saw the difference In how they were treated.
Side note: my daughter has been in therapy since 5 due to catastrophic anxiety and has even had to be medicated.
My daughter started to think her dad didn''t like her, which was understandable to me. And it was something she worked on in therapy. Then the dialoged changed from thinking her dad doesn't like her, to now she doesn't like her dad.
My husband has always worked hard to provide for us, making sure bills are always paid, there's always food, etc. I always worked full time as well, until 2020. In 2020 my husband got a job as an executive chef, since the kids had to be home due to covid, we decided I would quit my job and stay with the kids. It was cheaper than child care.
If you look up "what it's actually like being a chef's wife" you instantly see it's very lonely. My husband works 16-18 hour days, he has two scheduled days off, but sometimes he has to go in on those days as well. When he is home he does his best to help out and spend time with us. However, he is understandably exhausted.
Once my son started pre-k, he no longer gets to see my husband very much at all. His bus arrives before his dad is up, and his dad gets home after my son is asleep. He see's him sundays, and Monday evenings. That's it. My husband missed him growing into childhood. My daughter only see's him every day because her school starts later and he often takes her to school. She's asleep before he gets home as well. I feel like a single parent most of the time.
On my own I got my daughter's mental health stable and got her off meds by age 8.
My daughter kept consistent with saying she doesn't like her dad, only it changed to hate. She started saying she hates when he is home. Even though in my eyes, their relationship looks (on the surface,) to be much better now that she is older. My son, four at the time, started to say he didn't like daddy, only mommy.
I talked to my husband about spending more time with them, try to bond a little more, maybe take an occasional day off (he hasn't taken one off in four years). He felt really guilty and spiraled into a deep depression. In his head, there is NO room for adjusting his schedule, or taking extra time off.
Another side note: In the middle of all this my husband was offered a different exec chef job, which would of paid about the same, but we would of had benefits, PTO, Bonuses, and a family friendly schedule. But it's corporate, which he hates. He loves where he cooks at now.
Both kids have been keeping up with the negative feelings toward their dad (it's very obvious he loves them). Everytime I tried to talk to my daughter about it, go deeper, as in WHY she feels this way, I was met with "I don't know" and she would shut down.
Yesterday I pick up my daughter from school and when we get home she sees her dad is home. Instantly her attitude changes and she starts saying how she hates her dad, she wishes he wasn't home and that he would just leave forever. However this time she told me a little more. She's depressed, she wanted to go back on meds, and she's just having a hard time all together. She told me she resented her dad for never being there. That he isn't her father and she would be happy if she never saw him again.
I validated her feelings, I mean, I totally get where she is coming from, and I let her know we would get through this together.
It hurts my heart to hear these things. I don't know how to handle the situation.
Should I tell my husband and hope it gets through to him enough for him to make a change? Or do I just spare my husband feelings because most likely nothing is going to change and this way we'd avoid another depression episode, and just be there for my daughter, handle it on my own?
HELP!

My 6 month old Cavapoo is struggling with potty training. He was making slow progress until a Giardia infection with its diarrhea hit him a couple of weeks ago. We live in a highrise, and he's too scared of the streets to do his business outside, so we're relegated to our balcony.
Now he's having accidents about once a day inside with very little warning. He's had two today so far :( . This morning, I took him out (no poop). Fed him breakfast. As soon as he finished eating, he toddled near the door, and pooped before I noticed he was in a squat. (I was nearby but didn't keep my eyes on him while he was eating). I interrupted his squat and opened the door for him to go to the balcony. He finished pooping at his potty station.
So we know he knows where to go. He doesn't know not to go in the home as well.
I understand I need to go back to square one - take time off work or fake WFH while he's awake, tether him to me, take him out every... half hour? 45 minutes? Treat and celebrate each successful potty. I know it's recommended to confine them for a few minutes when they don't go (and to take them out again), but he doesn't tolerate being put in his crate or pen. Lots of barking. I tried crate training and crate games, but we couldn't get past the first couple of stages.
But for how long would I need to do this? 2 weeks? 4 weeks? Longer? I assume it just gets harder and harder the older they get.
His potty station is too small (it was not intended to be permanent when we put it together). He understandably doesn't want to step on his pee in order to poop. I'd love any ideas on diy potty station solutions for balconies.
Is there hope for us after 4 months of trying? Our trainer says he should be potty trained by 6 months, and every accident inside just rehearses the behaviour, making it harder and harder to correct. Meanwhile, I feel like a huge failure of a puppy parent, and am scared to leave him alone at all, in case he has an accident (not that it matters, it seems. I avert my eyes and he pees). The problems just compound.
Some of our potty challenges:

• He gets overaroused.
  • When I take him out to balcony on leash, he often bites, chews and plays tug with the leash.
  • He often bites our feet/ankles after we clean/disinfect the poop and change the pads. It's harder than normal biting to deal with since our hands are full of poop/used pads. Confining him while we do this makes him upset.
• Sometimes he goes to the door to go out for potty, and sometimes he wants to just sit on the balcony or run around.
• He's starting to poop more generally on the balcony, which isn't great as it's hard to clean/disinfect due to the bumpy no-slip surface. Hopefully a better potty station will

What am I doing? Dominick Mason asked himself for the hundredth time that night. It was late on a rainy Sunday evening and Dom, a tall, lanky man-boy of twenty-five with a prominent Adam’s apple and too big eyes, stared out the rain-slicked window of the 905. The big bus swayed and jostled as it lumbered down Central Avenue, the movements strangely comforting, conducive to reflection…and self-doubt.
As if on cue, his phone buzzed, and a pit opened up in his stomach. He fumbled it out with long fingers and read the text. Are u almost here
His thumb hovered over the screen, but he did not reply. Part of him wanted to block the number, slink back home with his tail between his legs, and forget the whole thing. He could boot up his PS4 and play Red Dead Redemption or GTA V like always. Safe. Familiar. The thought, however, stirred a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.
It was dread.
Every night, he did the same thing. He came home from work to his tiny prison cell apartment. He had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He played video games until it was time to go to bed. The worst part of the whole night was when he turned off the TV and saw his murky reflection in the screen. Plaid. Scrawny. Disgusting. He hated being locked in that apartment, with its old smells and white walls, but he hated going out even more. At least in his hole, he was safe, like a mouse. No one hurt or lied to him there. No one gave him funny looks. No one rejected him. He was completely safe in his solitude, a wounded animal hiding in its den and licking its wounds.
He was wounded and he knew it.
And he hated himself for it. Hated that he wasn’t stronger or better. Hated that even though he tried so hard, everything he did fell apart…if it even came together in the first place, which it rarely did.
The phone buzzed again.
Just a question mark this time.
His heart began to race and a steely fist slowly closed around his lungs. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and took a deep breath. He pictured himself alone in his little apartment. He loved the image, but he hated it too. Most nights, he didn’t mind being alone. He had to not mind it, because he didn’t have a choice. Some nights…some nights he didn’t want to be alone. Some nights he wanted warmth, he wanted tenderness…some nights, he wanted to be human.
Every so often, Dom would get the urge to find those things. They came less frequently than they did before, but unfortunately, they still came. He would create an account on Plenty of Fish and OKCupid, maybe some of the other sites as well. He would agonize over his stupid intro and his stupid list of hobbies. He would spend hours - literally hours - writing and rewriting them, trying at first to be serious, then light and funny, then cool, then aloof, then vulnerable. He would take the best possible pictures from the best possible angles, then upload them, never lingering over them because he hated the way he looked. He didn’t think he was ugly - mid was more like it - but apparently, he was ugly. Too ugly for love, too ugly even to talk to.
The ugly barnacle. So ugly that everyone died. The end.
All of Dom’s pictures were all selfies, of course. Guys he listened to on YouTube said he needed action shots, shots with friends, shots that showed women he had a life, was valued by those around him, and knew how to have fun. Too bad for him, he had no friends and no one valued him, not even his own mother. On the surface, maybe, but she had hurt him so many times over the years in so many ways that even the most devout son would stop and think.
It had to be selfies.
When his profile was in order - or as much in order as he could get it - he would start to browse. Dom knew his place and never messaged women who were too beautiful. He used to, but they never responded. He eventually began to skip their profiles with a pang of loss and a quiet what if? Now, he barely noticed them. Blonde. Petite. Blue eyes. Maybe she was a cheerleader at one time, maybe she was the type of girl who looked down her nose at guys like him. Maybe she was a sweetheart. In any case, he would never find out, so who cares?
He went for women he could realistically obtain…the type of women he’d dated and hooked up with in the past. Some were attractive in their own way, others were hard to look at, he wasn’t picky; he couldn’t afford to be picky. One woman he saw was a good three hundred pounds. She was nice and he liked her enough, but he lapsed into depression while they were dating and he never messaged her back…not that she made a huge effort to message him. Another was a pre-K teacher in her mid-thirties. Overweight with a big nose, glasses, and a plain face when she wasn’t wearing make-up. He liked her a lot and wanted to be with her, but after a month of weekend hookups, she said she didn’t love him. She told him she wanted a family - three kids, to be exact - but “changed her mind.” No, she didn’t. She just didn’t want those things with him.
Now she was in her late thirties, single, and having regrets.
She still wouldn’t settle for him, though.
Another woman he’d seen recently (six months ago) was fifty, but not unattractive. They texted for weeks, hot and heavy. She outright told him that she wanted to have sex with him. Said all sorts of nasty and sexual things. Their first (and only date) was her coming to his apartment. Instead of tender kisses, loving caresses, and intense emotions, they shared an awkward two hours on his couch. When he tried to hold her hand and put his arm around her, she stiffened. Not much, just a little. She said she “wasn’t ready.” He sat there and watched the flowers he’d gotten her wilt as she talked about her ex for an hour and a half, his arms pointedly crossed. He even leaned as far away from her as humanly possible, trying to communicate with his body language what he didn’t have the guts to communicate with his words: I’m uncomfortable, please leave. He planned to take her to a nice restaurant after they made love. Instead, he ordered something after she finally got the hint and left, eating alone like always.
After her, he deleted his profile (again) and resolved to never bother with dating again. Obviously there was something wrong with him. He saw guys who were uglier and more awkward than him with girlfriends, some actually stunning, but there was something about him in particular, something that repelled women…and men too.
Everyone.
It repelled everyone.
Maybe it was his self-loathing. After all, no one likes a sad sack. But that’s the thing: He was like this because of those experiences. It was a what came first, the chicken or the egg situation. Looking back, he had almost normal confidence at one point. Then all of this happened. The hundreds of messages he sent on the dating apps staying on read, unanswered, like he never sent them at all, like he was garbage unworthy of even a hello. The awkward dates. The occasional “success” that eventually fell apart…sometimes because of him, and sometimes because of them. The one girl who ran away from him when he tried to walk her to her car after a date. They didn’t click, he knew that, but he didn’t say or do anything creepy. Why did she do that? The girls who lead him on, talking about sex and sometimes even love but always had a reason they couldn’t meet.
There were other examples - many others - but it was all the same. Who cared?
Dom wanted to crawl back into his hole and stay there, to stop poking his head out and getting hurt. He wanted it so bad…but he was only human. Deep down, buried beneath layer after layer of scar tissue, there was still hope. Hope for love, for companionship, for acceptance, for intimacy and human touch. It was only an ember now, but even an ember is enough to spark a fire.
Some nights, he wanted to be safe. Other nights, he wanted to take a risk.
And this night was one of the latter.
Be there soon, he texted. He swallowed hard and wetted his lips. His heart was pounding faster and his bowels were loose. He really hoped this worked out. He didn’t think he could handle another rejection. If she turned him down, he’d probably go home and kill himself. Why go on like this?
He’d had that thought before…but he never followed through.
Maybe one day he’d actually shut the fuck up and do it already.
Maybe.
Ok :)
Her name was Heather and she was fat. She was not unattractive in the face and she wore her weight well, not that that mattered - he would take what he could get. They started talking on OKCupid last week and very soon, the conversation became sexual. He didn’t start it, though, she did. She was ahem very excited, she said. He liked to think that she was lonely, desperate, and wanted intimacy - any intimacy - just like him.
That really turned him on.
They agreed to meet, and now here he was, on the bus to her apartment on the other side of the city, hoping against hope that she didn’t hurt him too.
He put the phone away and stared straight ahead. The bus was nearly deserted, save for an old bag lady up front and a few Mexican guys in the back. Lights lined the bus’s roof, providing a cold, impersonal light. Dom took a deep breath and forced his dark emotions away. It was all on him to make this work. He would accept her fat, ugly, poor, and crippled, but he had to work to earn her love. He could do it.
When the bus finally reached his stop, he yanked the cord and got off. There was a plexiglass shelter lit by a single, lonely bulb. Trash littered the ground. Beyond the shelter, a park lay in darkness. Behind him, on the other side of the road, a housing project not unlike his own towered into the sky, lit up like a ship at sail. Dom swallowed his nerves and crossed the street. He found the door that she had directed him to use, and climbed the stairs. He expected trash, graffiti, and winos passed out on every landing. Instead, the stairwell was clean and deserted. His nerves welled as he climbed but he forced them down again. On the ninth floor, he went down the hall, battered on all sides by the stale smells of cooking and the murmur of TVs and voices coming from every apartment.
Dom paused at Apartment 237.
Heather’s.
You got this, he told himself.
And really, he did. Their plan - well, Heather’s, really - was simple and straightforward. She told him that she would leave the door unlocked. He was to come in, go to the bedroom, and she would be waiting for him. She said it was a fantasy of hers.
On some level, he knew all along that the whole setup sounded fishy. Was he being set up to get robbed? Would he walk in and get jumped by a bunch of Crips? He hesitated, but his need for love - and, yes, release - pushed him on.
He opened the door.
Inside, the apartment was small and messy, a living room to the right and a tiny kitchen to the left. The only light on was the one above the stove.
Everything else was in shadows.
Dom’s heart skipped a beat.
This didn’t feel right.
That thought was overpowered by the smell, a sickly sweet odor that suddenly seemed to be everywhere. His stomach twisted and he turned his head slightly to one side, as if to spare his nose. It smelled like something spoiled.
A voice spoke from the darkness, startling him. “I’m in here.”
It was light, airy, and cute.
For the last time, Dom hesitated. Some primal sense told him to turn around and leave…
…but he wanted to be loved.
Dom entered and shut the door behind him.
The smell was stronger. The atmosphere darker.
Ahead, he could barely make out an open doorway in the shadows.
He crossed to it.
The smell was overpowering here and Dom felt like he was going to puke. Any desire he had felt was gone, replaced only by revulsion and claustrophobia. It was cold, he realized, so cold that his teeth chattered.
Okay, fuck this.
He started to turn around, intent on leaving, but a small, white hand reached from the darkness. Icy fingertips brushed his cheek and his heart blasted into his throat.
Then she was there, her body pressing against his and her lips fused with his. The smell, the freezer chill, both stronger than ever.
They were both coming from her.
Her tongue hungrily lashed his own, and she pushed him against the wall. Her hands slipped under his shirt and pressed flat against his chest. They were so cold that he almost cried out.
Dom wanted to push her away, to run, but he didn’t. Instead, he froze up and allowed her to push him onto the bed. Was he too gutless to tell her no, the way he’d been too gutless to tell the woman who went on and on about her ex to shut up and leave? Did he secretly want to go through with this? He didn’t know, and he didn’t have time to figure it out. She was on top of him now, straddling him, his legs caged between her ample thighs. She grabbed his hands and pressed them to her bare breasts.
They were as cold as the rest of her.
She leaned down and kissed him again. He hadn’t noticed it before, but her tongue was…dry. Her mouth itself tasted strange. Off.
Heather broke from his lips and peppered kisses on his cheek and forehead, assaulting him with an intimacy that Dom no longer wanted.
Through it all, she was as silent as a tomb. She wasn’t panting or rasping with excitement. In fact, he didn’t think she was even breathing.
She brushed her lips along the exposed curve of his throat, and tingles of revulsion shot down his spine. She found his pulse and kissed it. Trembles of excitement raced through her body and she started to lap his neck like a dog.
Without warning, a fiery pinprick of pain exploded over him and Heather began to shake and pant. Dom cried out and tried to fight her off, but she was too heavy, too much.
With a tiny, mouse-like squeak - a sound of pitiable fear and resignation - Dom blacked out.

You were right before, my ex with BPD (let’s call him Z for simplicity) reached out after a month of silence post-blocking me, so I turn to you again.
His gf broke up with him, he was in a dark place. He was looking for comfort, and I gave it to him, because I care about him deeply. Late night calls, unconditional support. He talks about working on himself…to get her back. Or to be with someone who will love him. I can’t hear it anymore. I can’t be there for him. It’s hard to tell him this, since he’s not in a space to receive it.
I ended up blurting it out as we spoke over the phone. My voice betrayed me, and he asked me if I still have feelings for him. I couldnt lie. He said he felt frustrated because he thought he had my support. He said he cant say yes or no (to dating I guess) now, and it wont be something he could revisit in a matter of days, or even weeks. I said I understood, and it was unfortunate because I wish I could be there. I explained that it was around the time his family member passed away that I felt the limitations of how much I could be there for him. He seemed to emphasize that I could do the things I spoke of (cooking for him, giving him a hug, supporting him) as a friend, but again I said there were too many limitations (he wasnt coming home to me, when he did have a partner they should be his main support, etc.). He said I need to put myself first, and we should end the conversation for now, and I agreed.
He now says that he is uncomfortable sharing with me. So, I sent him a last message from my heart, which he received surprisingly well (for him). For many years, we have had ups and downs, yet he always comes back to me when he feels shaky. Why? I provide support. I feel like I’ve been faced with the limitations of my role.
We haven’t spoken since. I know it’s best to leave it be. My own struggles with anxiety surface at the unknown. Will I hear from him again?

For me I have two.
Mine:
70 lb Flathead, 15lb Test, 5'10 ugly stik, cut bluegill(i was after channel cats, didn't even know there were flatheads in that lake)
I was sitting on the dock, letting my bait soak and reading a magazine while I waited to hear my bell. When I heard it, it was as my rod was being pulled into the water, the bottom eyelet caught on the crease between the dock and was BENDING, my drag screaming. I went bug eyed and scrambked and proceded to spend what felt like an eternity(probably 10 minutes) fighting what I could only imagine was some aquatic jackhammer. When I first saw its tail swirl the surface I started hootin and hollering. I brought it to the dock, somehow hoisted it up(was 12). An old man who was pulling up his boat let me use his scale. 70 lbs, 3oz. To this day it is by far the biggest catfish of any species ive ever even hooked, let alone landed. I released it cause I dont fancy eating all the toxins built in a body that big
The second is from a fishing trip with my best friend, sadly this one snapped the line about 16 inches onto the shore.
25lb test, 6'7 catfish rod, 6+ foot long Longnose gar, cut gizzard shad
My best friend(We'll call him Troy), his father, n I went to this stretch of the Colorado river in Texas on family property. We wade across and walk down to a sandbar that is across from a deep rocky pool. We fish for catfish, gasper gou, and gar, all from that same hole. About 30 minutes before the sun finally made us pack it up, Troys rod bends double. Now this was normal for gaspers and catfish, theyd just inhale the bait. Gar on the other hand usually grab, swim up or downstream, then eat somewhere else. So when we see his line entering the shallows his dad and I see that huge long silvergreen flash and started hollerin at Troy" ITS A FUCKIN RECORD, ITS A FUCKING RECORD" so he keeps crankin in, letting it run for 50 yards then taking 55 back. Fianlly its in the shallow water, and it is huge. Easily longer than I was tall at the time and I had just busted 6 feet. At the shore, as i moved behind it to start pushing it onto the beach, it gave one last, hard shake and that frayed beat up monofilament snapped like a guitar string. I froze as Troy says "jump on it jump on it!!" But all I could remember was how badly my hands had gotten cut up by a smaller ones scales a few weeks prior. By the time Troy threw his rod and charged at it, the fish had turned its head back into the water and shot off.
I was legitimately worried he would kill me lol. I know I don't have pictures and it was just us three there. But I know, for sure, that would have shattered the current 2017 record AND the debunked 1954 record. And dont tell me it was a hybrid with a gator gar, its snout was pointed, not blunt like a hybrid would be.
Anyway: tell me your big fish light gear tales everyone!!

TLDR: Despite a decade of being out and having relationships, falling for guys always ends in emotional turmoil as guys often shy away from commitment, even when its a natural next step. They act serious, "seeking long term" but end up running after significant time and effort together. Therapy helps me, but the cycle of disappointment is exhausting and disheartening, however giving up isn't how I want to resolve this. How do you keep optimism? And why do guys say they want this but then run? Trying to navigate this recurring pattern without losing too much hope.
Longer (really sorry for the essay this is typed out as i'm dealing with the most recent one and it helps to get this out here in long format): Maintaining optimism is tough as hell. Despite being out for over a decade and having a fair share of both long and short term relationships, most seem to end painfully, leaving me emotionally wrecked. I've mastered generally being level headed and maybe even stoic for most life situations like in work, family, friends, etc, stemming from a background of being the "best little boy in the world" but nothing throws me into turmoil like falling for guys. It's a love-hate dynamic—I cherish immensely moments with a guy I care about, yet they also bring a same level of immense pain and it is incredibly difficult for me to pick the pieces up each time afterwards. Its the only time I feel as happy as I can get but also when I feel the worst after its done...
For background I tend to date within my 25-35 age range, guys with good career paths, seemingly kind, attractive in a compatible way, etc. In all of the broad brush stroke life things, we tend to align. I will say I know this age range is already tough; most of us are still navigating emotional maturity, which I understand... i've been/going through it myself.
I try to guard against falling for toxic or fuckboys but it's tricky - I can pick out the red flags pretty easily when it surfaces in the first few weeks (love bombing, negging, trauma i'm not equipped to handle, substance abuse, etc). But with alot of these guys, all seems like a green flag but then true intentions often surface after weeks or months of implicit commitment. While I dont mind the hookup or short term dating culture, I also dont feel like I run away from a possibility of serious if I think it is worth it or headed in a positive direction, and I'm willing to share that vulnerability, but so many otherwise green flag guys seem to get too scared to at least confront that possiblity. They say "seeking long term", appear ready for something more serious, and then bolt when they start to see it actually happening and a more emotional connection happening.
I know open communication is key, but if you know gay dating then you know most of the time as soon as you vocalize anything the other guy isn't ready for, they dont face it or try to discuss, most of the time they run- so I try to ride a fine line of communicating that I appreciate the person being in my life but being careful not to go too far...I'm also not talking first week of meeting someone, this is on a regular normal dating timing, a couple months to 6 months type of thing. And then when I communicate I want more at that stage, more common than not they jump ship and aren't even willing to give it a shot.
I would say a response I might expect is that I'm the common denominator in this, maybe that i'm "too much" or they can't handle me or dont see me as dating material which is also tough to confront and I do so with therapy and friends etc, but that type of stuff normally shakes out in the first few weeks of dating and that really hasn't ended up being a stated reason for why these guys leave.
Instead, these guys are with me for extended amounts of time, and doing stuff only couples do....Think like several weeks of spending nights and weekends with me or monthly trips together out of state and country or meeting all my friends, movie lists that we are gonna watch together, etc. AND THEN they end up running, ghosting, or acting like it was never that serious to begin with and getting back on the apps the day after, which is just cruel... Not kidding, these are all guys I'm spending weeks and months doing these things. I get it if it is a fast burn 1 week hookup but these are significant amounts of time especially in gay dating....
When they leave, these heartbreaks hit me harder than anything else, reverting me to a naturally emotional super low state despite my efforts to keep it level emotionally. I take breaks, and spend time with family and friends afterwards but its easy to get stuck in my head, and this pseudo almost dating just seems cyclical as opposed to one offs.
Just not understanding why these guys are willing to pretend like everything is so good, then wreck someone by running away or being too weak to move forward. Therapy helps, but the cycle of picking myself up after each disappointment is exhausting. These guys seem great on paper—gentle, fun, successful career wise, handsome, good sex—yet its all ended the same way. It's disheartening; there are no easy wins in gay dating, and it's wearing me down. Giving up isn't in my playbook because I know how happy it can make me when it does seem to be working, even though it feels like an uphill battle. I dont want to become cynical or to get to a point where I cant offer my vulnerability and love to someone who does merit it but this process makes it so hard to figure out.
Guys who have still managed to keep your optimism, how? And the guys who run, why? Not trying for a pity party genuinely trying to navigate this as it keeps happening.

i just saw another post on here that detailed why mumble rap is not real music, and it made me realise that if anything, music can be whatever you want it to be. smacking your head against a table to make banging sounds may not qualify as music according to cultural norms but if it resonates with you emotionally, who am i to say that its not? some people like the sound of a skull bouncing off of a table and/or hard surface.
by the same token, 5 minutes of uninterrupted silence can also qualify as music. a lot of classical works emphasize the silence in between notes just as much as they do the notes themselves; thus if the silence is significant and elicits emotion, it should, logically, also be counted as music. think the silence you hold after a sombre speech, or the silence an audience sits in to honour a dead person - except engineered and arranged by a talented musician, to be performed for a crowd. this is real by the way.
on a serious note, music to me has always been more compelling when its borne of emotion. nirvana for example isnt particularly virtuosic or technically difficult, but they deliberately played like shit to convey the anguish behind the songwriting. it was raw, unrefined and directionless a lot of the time, sure - and lyrically incoherent - but it was the directionlessness and anger that spoke to people. i never really understood the modern avant garde type art that people like to take the piss out of, but irrespective of how i feel, i cant really see a valid argument for why it cannot be art if it has meaning to the people who enjoy it.

I just got her recently and ive noticed every time i handle her and put her back, she'll have a hard time gripping to surfaces. After a while though, itll go away and she'll be able to grip again. She isnt that old, She's about a year old. Her web also fell apart (I havent been touching it) , Is it better to clean her web up and let her have a fresh start? Am I able to help her fix it? Any advice would be great!!

Morrigan went to join her lily in her room, joining her apothecary in the making of their garden. She hoped it would calm her down, she hoped that she could smell that sweet smell again, she hoped that she could show her traitor son that he was wrong. She would show him that he was wrong, even if she had no idea how to garden.
Morrigan spent a lot of time working on the garden with her lily and apothecary, often without her armor. She wasn't sure how she would feel outside of her armor in the presence of another, but she grew to appreciate the opportunity. She noticed that the apothecary wore their mask less often around her, and even offered to help her with gardening. Morrigan refused, stubbornly insisting that she could do it herself, even though she was having no success whatsoever. However, even though she found the experience of gardening to be incredibly frustrating, it was also calming in a sense. The apothecary found this stubborn determination adorable in a sense. They had figured out what kind of flowers their lady liked and grew the ones that they liked best. It helped with their lady's unique smell, even though they had gotten somewhat used to it by now. They even started making perfumes, leaving them in their lady’s room without her knowledge. Morrigan loved the perfumes she knew her lily had made, but didnt say anything in case her apothecary would find out she actually liked them.
After much time and hard work, Morrigan finally got her first flower to bloom. It was a white lily, which she placed gently in the apothecary room, as a token. The apothecary found it rather touching, pinning their lady’s flower to their breast pocket, so they could carry it wherever they go.
The Primarch’s room would soon become a beautiful green space, so much so that Morrigan would often take off her mask when she was alone to smell the flowers and experience the work she and her lily had done. One day, while her lily was gardening, she handed them a new set of orders stating they would be moving into the room to better take care of the garden. The apothecary nodded, and moved their stuff into the garden, before returning to their work. They noticed that Morrigan didn't wear her mask anymore, and she never wore her armor in the garden. They didn’t ask their lady about it; they simply appreciated the trust.
Morrigan started bringing her Lily out of the garden more often, taking them on campaigns, to meetings and the like. Her sons questioned her intentions of bringing an apothecary during discussions of military matters.
“Mother, is it strictly necessary for the apothecary to be here? They have no training in the art of war, and they are not participating in the combat on the surface. I think it would be bes….”
Morrigan stared daggers at her son, her mask hiding the anger in her face. “The apothecary will stay. This way they can best prepare for the incoming casualties. That is final. Now let us continue planning the assault.” The apothecary smiled beneath their mask but made sure that this would be evident to their lady’s sons. They judged it would be best to not antagonize them.
After several successful campaigns, the Endurance once again returned to Barbaros, though as they arrived, they were greeted by another ship orbiting the planet. That ship was the Photep, flagship of Morrigan’s sister Magnolia. Morrigan had her vox master send a vox to her sister’s ship.
“Sister, what brings you here?” Morrigan said, questioning the intentions of her sister. She knew that Magnolia would not be here for a simple social call. She was here for something, probably knowledge.
“Sister! I am simply here to pay you a visit. I’ll arrive shortly.” Then the vox cut.
Morrigan gripped her scythe angrily. ‘That bitch’ she thought, ‘inviting herself, ignoring my questions. I’ll show her arrogant ass what for.’ She turned to her lily, her anger fading somewhat at the sight of her flower still pinned to her lily’s chest. “Apothecary, come with me. My sister may need some ‘assistance’ after I’m done with her.” Lily nodded, following quickly at the side of their lady as they made their way to the hangar.
Magnolia’s Stormhawk landed shortly after Morrigan and her Lily arrived in the hangar. Magnolia stepped out alone, a group of her sons waiting behind on the Stormhawk. Magnolia’s eyes were immediately drawn to the powerful psychic energy coming from the apothecary next to her sister. Lily could feel a strong probing psychic force in their mind, searching for information. Lily could also feel their lady’s anger and burning hatred. They gently placed their hand on Morrigan’s, before returning their hand to their side. Morrigan was shaken by this simple act, but she decided she would deal with it later. First, she needed to handle her sister.
Magnolia greeted her sister with a smile and gestured to the apothecary to Morrigan’s side. “Sister, what a lovely little psyker you have there. Have you finally changed your mind?” Magnolia said smugly.
Morrigan advanced upon Magnolia, ready to behead her sister for her insolence and arrogance. But once again, her Lily placed their hand upon hers. She knew it would be best to ensure they did not get hurt. “My Lily…!” Morrigan's voice, once angry, was now caught in her throat. Had she said it out loud. “Ahem, my apothecary is not a psyker. They are simply a talented apothecary, not a sorcerer like you. Perhaps your sorcery is failing you sister? Perhaps you could still see properly if you had both of your eyes.” She spat, her mask expelling gas in powerful blasts of anger. “If you have a purpose for your visit, state it. Otherwise get off my ship and return to your librarium sister.”
Magnolia, now frustrated, turned and left. “Your ignorance will bite you one day sister, that I assure you.” She said before her Stormhawk returned to her ship. She would find the knowledge she was looking for another way. Barbarus surely had knowledge that she could make great use of. She would just have to try and get it some other way.
Morrigan looked down at their Lily. They had held their hand the whole time, and it almost brought a smile to Morrigan’s face. “Let us return to our duties.” She said, letting go of her lily’s hand, and walked with them back to the garden. Morrigan couldn’t quite understand what emotions were going through her mind, so she focused on cultivating her plants, keeping her mind away from what she went through.
Nurgle was watching the two, smiling uglily. His plan would be put into place soon. Soon he would have the Primarch in his grips. He just needed to give her a little bit of a push. Targeting her apothecary would be of great benefit…

My Dad aka my hero suddenly passed away over 14 months ago.
Ever since, I have found it near impossible to come to grips with the fact he is gone. I accept it more now but I’m drowning. I am in therapy to help with my delayed grief.
I haven’t really missed work and on the surface, I’m functioning.
My issue is that I have lost so many friends in the process. Maybe they weren’t real friends to begin with. I was numb when it first happened that I probably seemed like I didn’t need to comfort.
After I cried one time, they said that they were glad that I seemed “a little affected” as they worried that I wasn’t emotional at all. It was hard to explain to them that I was in shock, I was living in denial.
Now I’m just so lonely and drowning in depression. I can’t turn to my immediate family as they are also dealing with their own grief (we do talk about him) and my wider family like to bury their feelings.
My friends are in the most happy periods of their lives and I’m so happy for them. I feel like I don’t get invited because I’m the dark cloud on their parades. When I do go, I am met with comments that “you just have to see the good in life” or “it will get easier, you already seem so much better than last time”. I just feel like I can’t say anything as they don’t understand.
I was that friend that was there for everyone else but has been met with silence from them. I get it, I’m exhausted from my grief as well.
I don’t know what to do. I’m so done with feeling lonely all the time but I feel like it’s easier for my friends to leave me behind as they only wanted the person I was, not who I am now. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not always depressed and sad. I make sure I am doing things that bring me happiness as my Dad passed before he even got to retire and do the “one day” adventures.
I don’t know what the point of my rant is in the end. I’m just so lost and feel like i am too draining for people to want to be around me. I am sure this might make sense to people in this subreddit.

My 6 month old Cavapoo is struggling with potty training. He was making slow progress until a Giardia infection with its diarrhea hit him. We live in a highrise, and he's too scared of the streets to do his business outside, so we're relegated to our balcony.
Now he's pooping about once a day inside with very little warning. This morning, I took him out (no poop). Fed him breakfast. As soon as he finished eating, he toddled near the door, and pooped before I noticed he was in a squat. (I was nearby but didn't keep my eyes on him while he was eating). I interrupted his squat and opened the door for him to go to the balcony. He finished pooping at his potty station.
So we know he knows where to go. He doesn't know not to go in the home as well.
I understand I need to go back to square one - take time off work, tether him to me, take him out every... half hour? 45 minutes? Treat and celebrate each successful potty. I know it's recommend to confine them for a few minutes when they don't go (and to take them out again), but he doesn't tolerate being put in his crate or pen. Lots of barking. I tried crate training and crate games, but we couldn't get past the first couple of stages.
But for how long would I need to do this? 2 weeks? 4 weeks? Longer? I assume it just gets harder and harder the older they get.
His potty station is too small. He understandably doesn't want to step on his pee in order to poop. I'd love any ideas on diy potty station solutions for balconies.
Is there hope for us after 4 months of trying? Our trainer says he should be potty trained by 6 months, and every poop inside just rehearses the behaviour, making it harder and harder to correct. Meanwhile, I feel like a huge failure of a puppy parent, and am scared to leave him alone at all, in case he has an accident. The problems just compound.
Some of our potty challenges:

• He gets overaroused.
  • When I take him out to balcony on leash, he often bites, chews and plays tug with the leash.
  • He often bites our feet/ankles after we clean/disinfect the poop and change the pads. It's harder than normal biting to deal with since our hands are full of poop/used pads. Confining him while we do this makes him upset.
• Sometimes he goes to the door to go out for potty, and sometimes he wants to just sit on the balcony or run around.
• He's starting to poop more generally on the balcony, which isn't great as it's hard to clean/disinfect due to the bumpy no-slip surface.