I'm almost 27, been using tampons (without applicator, ob brand) since I was 15 or 16. But recently something super weird is happening. I just can't seem to insert them properly anymore. For the past few months I haven't been able to use them confortable. I do as I've always done, I push my whole finger in with the tampon, it slides right in but as soon as I stand up I can feel that bitch. It's driving me crazy I've tried again countless times. Just now I wasted 6 tampons for nothing. I explore with my fingers and make sure it's pass the pelvic muscle. But I still can feel it all the time. It's making me so upset I've been using them for years without an issue. What's going on now? I even tried applicators and it's the same result. Anyone with the same issue? Thanks a lot

A couple years ago when I was about 14-15, I attempted to use one of those mini tampons, but when I tried inserting it felt like there was a wall so I gave up. Recently, I’ve tried it again and am still having the same problem. I’ve googled how to insert one, and no matter how many angles and places I try it won’t go it, just feels like I’m hitting a wall. Is there something wrong with me, has anyone experienced this? If you have, did you manage to fix it?
Edit: forgot to mention something, but I get my periods very irregularly and rarely- most of the time I’ll go like 2-6 months between them, and then I might get 2 mini periods in one months, then I won’t have one again for like 4 months. Don’t know if this is related, I’ve been to a doctor about it, they took hormonal blood tests which came back normal, so they said they’ll book me an appointment with a specialist but haven’t gotten back to me on that yet despite it being 2 2 years ago.

Firstly English isn’t my mother tongue so apologies if things are spelled wrong.
My fiancée and I have been together for 7 years bought an apartment together 3 years ago. I would say everything about our relationship is perfect and I do cherish and admire her very much.
However over the past 6 months Ive notice she’s becoming more and more extreme with her views towards men.
It started off with oh this one guy “insert remark” To “many men are so insert remark” And now is “every man is insert remark”
This has become a daily occurrence.
Every day when I get home from work I’m hit with
“I watched at tiktok today and men are the worst. Men are a cancer. Men are etc etc”
Two of her friends that she’s only recently become close with are also very anti men and I can’t help but feel are a toxic influence on her.
I suggested maybe taking time off TikTok but she does have quite a large following (around 90k followers) and it’s a part of her income now so she can’t just walk away from it. She also has a career in the medical field so it’s not her only income.
Any time I sit down and ask her to actually explain what the issues are and I genuinely want to get her pov on it. She just hits me with “men are just men” and doesn’t go into a deeper explanation than that.
I’ve asked if she’s ever experienced first hand situations where shes been a victim of unpleasant situations by men and she said no nothing outside of the random catcall (which I acknowledge is pathetic and unpleasant) but nothing more than that.
Any advice on how to handle this?

Hey yall has anyone been officially diagnosed with vaginismus, I am diagnosed with pelvic floor dysfunction and it was confirmed through an anal rectal manometry. I have rectocele and various types of prolapse and I’m curious if my prolapse is the reason why insertion is uncomfortable. I’m not as bad as some people are I can use tampons etc but not the intercourse due to my pelvic floor but I feel as though with training that can improve. I’ve been to pelvic floor pt as well and was told due to my hip dislocations that’s why my pelvic floor muscles were so tight not allowing me to defactate and urinate completely . This is mostly how it affects me and I was told by my colorectal surgeon to go back to pt again. I wasn’t given any tools but I’m willing to do so as long as I get the care and guidance I need without being unmonitored doing keegles. Best , Robin

The goods with timestamp
All steelbooks are complete with j-cards, code cards/inserts, and discs. The codes are unused but I don't know if they expire. The movies themselves were watched once if at all. I can provide close-up pictures for whatever you're interested upon request.
Prices are negotiable; especially if you buy multiple.
Shipping is $5 media mail for a single item. Shipping is free for all multi item purchases.
Please leave comment before sending DM. Thanks for looking.

Name	Price
Up 4K	$120
Monsters, Inc. 4K	$100
Monsters University 4K	$28
A Bug's Life 4K	$90
WALL•E 4K	$65
Birds of Prey 4K	$32
Justice League 4K	$20
SHAZAM! 4K	$16
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse Blu-ray	$12
Spider-Man: Homecoming 4K	$40
Venom 4K	$13
The Incredible Hulk 4K	$80
Men in Black Trilogy 4K	$64
John Wick: Chapters 1-3 4K	$64
The Matrix Trilogy 4K	$91
Inception 4K	$68
The Town 4K	$48
Mad Max: Fury Road 4K	$75
It 4K	$24
The Blues Brothers 4K	$59
Apollo 13 4K	$52
47 Ronin 4K	$30
Jaws 4K	$52
A Quiet Place 4K (Mondo X Series)	$44
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood 4K	$28
Christine 4K	$32
1917 4K	$25
Back to the Future: 35th Anniversary Limited Edition Trilogy 4K	$118

I’m afraid that I may have put in a 2nd tampon without realizing there was the original one in there. I noticed it was a little tough to insert a new tampon each time. Just now, in my toilet paper I noticed what I believe to be cotton from tampon residue. I have tried fishing around with my fingers down there to find what could be a stuck one and no luck. Would it be okay if I called my obgyn and ask if they can get me in last minute to check? I feel so stupid asking but I want to play it safe.

Hello fellow forum members,
I hope you're all doing well! Today, I'd like to delve into the world of menstrual discs and discuss which ones are currently considered the best options on the market. With so many choices available, it can be overwhelming to decide which menstrual disc is right for you. That's why I'm hoping we can share our experiences and insights to help each other make informed decisions.
Firstly, for those who might not be familiar, menstrual discs are innovative menstrual products that are worn internally to collect menstrual fluid. They offer a discreet and eco-friendly alternative to pads and tampons, and many people find them more comfortable and convenient once they get the hang of using them.
Now, onto the main question: which menstrual disc reigns supreme in today's market? Here are a few top contenders based on user reviews, features, and overall popularity:

1. Flex Disc: One of the pioneers in the menstrual disc arena, Flex Disc has garnered a strong following for its comfortable fit and mess-free design. Made from medical-grade materials, it's known for its ease of insertion and removal.
2. Softdisc: Another notable option is Softdisc, which boasts a flexible, disposable design that molds to your body's shape for leak-proof protection. Its thin profile and comfortable feel make it a favorite among many users.
3. Nixit: For those looking for a reusable option, Nixit is gaining traction as an eco-friendly alternative. Made from silicone, it offers a high capacity and can be worn for up to 12 hours, making it ideal for busy lifestyles.
4. Ziggy Cup: While technically not a disc, Ziggy Cup deserves a mention for its unique flat-fit design that sits comfortably against the cervix. It's reusable and offers mess-free period sex, making it a game-changer for many users.

I invite everyone to share their experiences with menstrual discs, whether positive or negative, as well as any tips or recommendations you may have. Let's empower each other to find the perfect menstrual solution for our unique needs!
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts and insights.

I am a virgin and I heard even non sexually active women can fit in more than 4 fingers comfortably, I tried to put in 2 and I can but it’s very uncomfortable. 3 is extremely painful and i cannot do it and four is out of the question, is something wrong with me? Can i have sex or give birth?
I can insert tampons in but only with an applicator, without it, it’s impossible. I am not sure what’s wrong with me but I would like to know

I messed around with gimmicky metal bands in the 90s, and I have to admit that Danzig is still a go-to. Once I read the Church of Satan's charter, the music makes total sense. Satanism can't exist without Christianity because its charter is based, literally, on doing the exact opposite of what Christianity teaches, apparently. So, since I believe Constantine used Greek writers, due to their epic storytelling, to whip up a Greek Tragedy and unify his empire under its doctrine...or death...I kinda look at satanism as the tragedy's silly kid brother.
Anyway, I had a falling out with my Rabbi at Chabad over, well I believe he'd say halacha, but it was more about tradition. I've been a Jewish Ronin since. And because I studied Chabad chassidus every day, it's hard to break away from. However, Danzig to the rescue. This song put so much relevance on the situation as I now see it. I'm going to insert some words based on what I've learned, in the hopes this makes sense. The word "devil" needs to be replaced with HaShem, from Who all things great and horrifying emanate. It's in no way meant to demean G-d, moreso to put good/evil into a unified source.
"Hashem's Plaything"
Love is a flame Hashem's thing A violent storm About to be born Just look in these eyes See all the lies All these things you see You cannot deny
And this flame That burns inside If you get too close Burn you alive Just look in these eyes See if they lie All these words I speak You cannot deny
Got a Light Shines on me A gentle Light It will never be See the flame In my hands If you're playing with fire You're playing yourself (actual lyric 'you're playing in hell)
Hashem's Plaything in my hands If you don't want pain You don't understand Got a Light Shines on me If you wanna touch flames Then come unto me
Got a flame burns inside If you don't want to burn Just walk on by And the pain you're feeling now Is nothing compared To the pleasures I hide
Hashem's Plaything I'm my hands If you don't want pain You don't understand Got a Light Shines on me If you want to touch flames Come unto me
Got a flame In my hands If you don't want fire Step out of my Light Walk on by Just look away Because if you're on my path You're better of dead
Hashem's Plaything In my hands If you don't want pain You don't understand Got a Light Shines on me If you want to touch flames The come unto me
So, I write all this to say that chassidus, no matter the nusach, teaches that Torah was written in flames as HaShem spoke. Not the entire Torah, although the remnants of the His fire resonate with sparks and heat throughout the Torah. And when entranced with the words of praise and Torah are harnessed correctly, the body is set ablaze and fire comes from the tongue, and anguish becomes extacy.
It was a huge wakeup call when I went to 770. I didn't belong there at all. And then at the Rebbe's (may he rest in peace) Ohel, that was even more hardcore. It was like I could see the old men on fire, breathing everything they said out like spirits of heat illusions, like in the desert. There's levels to this practice that are so far beyond what my mind can rationalize. And I'm a quantum mechanics student! You'd think some abstraction wouldn't be that difficult.
Anyway, thanks, I hope y'all are holding up well. Imbalances are what cause the most pain, but that how balance is found. It's true, though, if you are on Hashem's path, living the life He asks of us, we're better off dead. Because when we die, we'll certainly be better than we were yesterday. And that's all He asks!

I can put it in with the applicator but can’t do without but all my friends say they never use an applicator, so is it normal that I can’t do this? Like do I have some weird textural vaginismus , because the tampons in an applicator are much bigger than a tampon alone so why can I insert one but not the other? It’s the rough cotton which makes me clench up

[Obvious spoilers for character romances, relationships, and a few character arcs. I don't recommend reading this post unless you've beaten the game.]
I’ll start off with the most obvious disclaimer: this post is not here to critique polyamory itself or its inclusion in the game. I’m all for adding the option to games (and BG3 as well) as long as it’s done respectfully and in a way that can make both monogamous and polyamorous players comfortable. This post will discuss what the game could have done better, why the characters they chose to make poly were poorly thought out, and what characters should have (hypothetically) been chosen instead. (The suggestions of who SHOULD have been chosen would give poly players MORE options, rather than less, while also maintaining character consistency and helping mono people feel comfortable too).
These suggestions are, of course, my own opinion coupled with a lot of threads I read all over the internet from three groups: monogamous players, poly players who liked what BG3 did, and poly players who felt it was handled poorly/felt uncomfortable with it. I myself didn’t care to go through the poly routes in the game but after I read some youtube comments on the Halsin topic, I got fully invested in the discussion and dove through youtube, reddit, and Larian threads to hear everyone’s opinions. As a monogamous person myself, it was interesting to hear thoughts from the poly players about what they felt uncomfortable with and how things should have been written instead. As a result, this thread is less my own thoughts and more a compilation of all the ideas/suggestions I saw people come up with.
The goal of this post is not to hate on the developers or people from either side of the debate, but to find a middle ground the developers could have used that would make both monogamous people and polyamorous people happy. The current game did appeal to some poly players, but it left a lot of other ones dissatisfied, and when half of your target audience is feeling skeptical about how you handled something, it’s good to take notice (and even though it’s too late for any changes to be made, it’s fun to talk about the hypotheticals and suggest what pitfalls could be avoided when developing future games).
This post will be formatted like so: (yes, I know it’s long but after having all the discussions and debates run through my head for a few days, it’s nice to get them all written down and out of my brain)

1. Important factors that should be considered when adding poly relationships to your game (in a way that makes at least the majority of your audience comfortable)
   
2. Which characters should have been chosen to be poly instead of the ones we got (and why)
   
3. Why the characters the developers chose to make poly weren’t ideal
   
4. Issues with how Halsin was presented
   

A few more points I want to emphasize before I start.

1. This post isn’t just focusing on the story and character motivations, but also on what makes the players feel at ease. You can’t make everyone happy, obviously, but there were a lot of mistakes BG3 made that could have been easily solved (with suggestions from both sides). I want to see games where both monogamous players and poly players can find the romance options they’re seeking without feeling ignored or pushed aside.
   
2. While it is easy to say, “It’s just a videogame. We shouldn’t worry about what the characters think because they’re fictional,” I say both yes and no. While the feelings of the characters shouldn’t be cared about (because they’re not real), the writers clearly wanted each character to have their own backstory, morals, opinions, and fears. I’d argue most of, if not all of the characters were written really well and in a realistic manner (as realistic as you can get with tadpoles in your brains and magical abilities). The writers WANTED us to take these characters seriously, as well as the portrayals of abuse that some of them represent, so it’s not surprising that lots of players analyze them. The fact that so many different people took the time to discuss the character romances and relationships is a testament to how well written the characters are. It’s okay to say the poly interactions felt ‘out of character’ and debate why.
   

​
Part 1. IMPORTANT FACTORS THAT NEED TO BE CONSIDERED WHEN ADDING POLY RELATIONSHIPS TO YOUR GAME (particularly when monogamous relationships are also part of the game). Most of these will be things other people have said, some of which I never even considered until they brought it up.
- Communication with the players
- Consent (particularly ‘enthusiastic consent’)
- Lying, pressure, and coercion
- Character backstories and potential trauma

1. Communication with the players

One of the biggest issues I had with BG3’s poly relationships is that the developers didn’t try to effectively communicate which options players had until Act 3 (when it’s too late to change your mind). A monogamous player could start a character romance, only to be disappointed in Act 3 when they find out the character is poly. Likewise, a poly player would assume someone is poly, then have that character change their mind halfway through. Now, in terms of narrative, this can be quite interesting, and in terms of real life, I’m sure this happens often. However, when you’re looking at it from a developer’s standpoint, it's not a good idea to do this. If you want to make players comfortable and satisfied with the romance options, you need to make it clear to them what they’re getting themselves into.
So, if you’ve written a poly character into your game, you need to let the players know. Once the topic of romance/sex is brought up, have that character confidently state their thoughts and expectations about it. This way mono players can go, “Oh, this type of relationship isn’t for me. I’ll try to romance someone else.” Meanwhile poly players can say, “This is what I’m looking for.” This way, neither party has to google which characters are or aren’t poly and risk spoiling important plot points for themselves. Likewise, if a character is monogamous, writers should do the same thing.
Two great poly examples are Act 1 Laezel and Dragon Age’s Zevran. As soon as the topic of relationships is brought up, they explain their stance on sex, relationships, expectations, and possible reasons for why they think the way they do. It’s done in a fairly natural manner and fits their character.
Of course, what makes this more difficult is a character like Astarion, whose entire personality is largely an act until he opens up in Act 2. This does make communication with the player harder, but an easy solution is: once he opens up about his true feelings, have him restate what he truly wants in a relationship. (Even that’s difficult for someone like him, who doesn’t know what he wants, but we’re looking at this from a hypothetical developer’s standpoint, not what we currently have.) Having him (subtly) express his expectations here leaves room for players to again say, “Oh, that’s not what I’m looking for. Let’s stay friends.” The devs should then leave some romance options open in Act 2 so players can reevaluate and choose someone else without getting locked out. (Again, this is obviously impossible to fix now. This should have been thought through in early development).
Consent (particularly enthusiastic consent)
One of the biggest issues I saw being brought up from poly players was the topic of consent, especially what they repeatedly prioritized: enthusiastic consent. The ideal response they’re looking for when talking to their partner is that their lover is wholly on board with the arrangement, comfortable expressing their true feelings, and doesn’t feel pressured to agree when they really don’t want to deep down. Out of the three BG3 poly options, only one of them (Shadowheart) had poly players feeling comfortable with her reaction to ‘opening up’ the relationship with Halsin (and even then, there were disagreements).
I can’t get too far into this discussion without bringing up my next point, so I’ll skip to it.
Lying, pressure, and coercion
This is the part that initially piqued my interest when reading that first youtube comment section. Many of the comments were poly people saying, “If my partner reacted to the Halsin arrangement the way Karlach and Astarion did, I would not go through with it.” Coupled with that were poly players saying, “I was hoping for enthusiastic consent and ethical poly. I was disappointed to find neither.” There were a lot of people disappointed with how the poly was written. One person even recommended it to their poly friends, then walked the recommendation back when they finished the game and felt the writers handled it carelessly.
Lots of people, both monogamous and poly, had their doubts about Karlach and Astarion’s reactions. Were they fully comfortable with the poly relationship or were they just saying what their lover wanted to hear? Were they scared of appearing weak and controlling so they pushed their own wishes down? Karlach literally says she’s not fine with it but will tolerate it because she loves you. Astarion’s true thoughts are more uncertain because he has a history of lying to make people happy and struggles with boundaries. I saw many people on the fence about both of them.
Now, in real life, there can obviously be nuance. You can spend hours discussing poly with your partner and checking in with them throughout the relationship to make sure they’re still on board. Some people may genuinely be fine with it but sound nervous at first. Others may NOT be fine with it and lie to avoid being abandoned.
The issue is that we’re addressing a video game where you CAN’T check in with your partner regularly and you only get 1 minute to gauge their reaction. That, coupled with their backstories and how the characters were written up to that point, is bound to make a lot of people (mono and poly) raise an eyebrow or feel uneasy.
While one can argue that leaving the poly relationships open ended/up to interpretation is an artistic choice or an attempt to add realism to the game, at the end of the day, you’re making a lot more people uncomfortable than you need to. There were plenty of poly players who just wanted to see healthy poly relationships with enthusiastic consent, and that’s it. They didn’t want to ask themselves if this was the right decision or if they were making their lover feel worse deep down. That’s something to address in reality, not fantasy. If the developers wanted to welcome poly players in, they should have done so in a way that makes them feel comfortable/satisfied.
This point will lead into WHO I think should have been poly instead but that’s for a little later in the post.
Character backstories and potential trauma
This is largely referring to Astarion but applies to Shadowheart and Karlach as well: If you are going to give characters a lot of layers, insecurities, fears, and trauma, you need to handle their relationships carefully. Not only are you building a character, but you’re letting players see their own traits reflected back at them. When it comes to abuse (physical or sexual), I personally think it’s important to consider player reactions to certain aspects of the game (especially those who have experienced abuse in their own lives).
I think Astarion’s sexual abuse and overcoming of trauma was well written (and a lot of people who experienced similar situations agreed). However, once the developers added poly into his story, I witnessed two prominent reactions from players:
- People defending it, saying that they were fine with poly relationships in their own lives despite going through abusive relationships (which is completely fine and valid).
- People who had the opposite experience, where they lied and said they were fine with poly to please their partners, then felt miserable throughout the relationships. (This is also fine and valid.) These players (even some who went through with the poly relationship in the game) came out feeling uncomfortable and reminded of their pasts.
The ambiguity the developers went for just made this whole situation worse, as it led to arguments and disagreements in the community, with some people insisting the brothel scene helps Astarion heal, while many believed it had the opposite effect. The same arguments were made regarding the Halsin relationship.
Again, there’s nothing wrong with writing a story and sticking to it regardless of how uncomfortable it makes people feel, but in this case, there were so many other options besides Astarion you could have chosen. I think in the long run, it’s better to leave his character away from poly to avoid making lots of people (including SA victims) uneasy when it’s an optional feature anyway. (No one would have complained if he said a simple “that’s not what I’m looking for” or “I’m not comfortable sharing” and left it at that.)
(I’ll go more into more detail about Astarion, Karlach, and Shadowheart later, but will move on for now.)
​

1. WHICH CHARACTERS SHOULD HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO BE POLY INSTEAD OF THE ONES WE GOT (AND WHY)

Now, just because I recommend removing poly options from certain characters doesn’t mean it should be omitted entirely. I just think there were far better options available to the developers (character wise, story wise, and player expectation wise). I agree with the online sentiment that instead of taking a step back and figuring out which characters worked best for poly, the developers instead chose the most popular male and female characters and called it a day without discussing whether or not these were the ideal options.
As I was reading through everyone’s complaints and critiques of the poly implementation, I took a moment to figure out which characters would fit it best. I took several factors into account.
You need a character who poly players are confident their yes means yes and no means no (meaning they need to be a generally honest and forthright person). It’s not a good idea to have sexual trauma or a past of people pleasing/coercion because while not all SA victims are monogamous by any means, because it’s a video game and not real life, this opens the door to a lot of other issues and can leave poly players unsure if the character’s past influenced their ability to say yes or no. This is especially relevant because the game only takes place over 4 months. Not only are the romantic relationships just beginning, but Karlach and Astarion literally killed their abusers a few days ago. The pain is still fresh and a lot of healing needs to be done. It’s better to leave the sexual content away from them for now (and if poly players want to imagine the characters opening up the relationship later, they can. It just shouldn’t happen in the current game.)
With those factors in mind, I started narrowing down the characters to figure out which ones would suit the criteria.
Ones that AREN’T a perfect fit:
Astarion: two hundred years of sexual abuse (which is a lot to recover from), he just regained his bodily autonomy, he is a habitual liar, he can be talked into doing things he hates and only protests after the deed is done, even after Cazador dies in Act 3 he will do things he doesn’t want to in order to appease the player, killing one’s abuser does not magically fix all the internal issues and insecurities, the list goes on.
Gale: His issues aren’t as obvious or prominent but he also has a history of people pleasing and doing things he doesn’t want to simply to make his partner happy (see Mystra and the brothel scene).
Karlach: While she is pretty chill about the brothel, the most prominent problem this game has is that she’s literally dying. Even if she was open to poly, as someone pointed out, any loving partner would dedicate what little time they have left to focusing on her.
Shadowheart: This one has the most discussions around it because the writing is inconsistent. This is also the only romance I personally haven’t gone through so I can’t get into full details. However, what I have seen discussed is: brainwashing and memory wipes, being forced to be a “honeypot” against her will, she links her love of poly back to the cult that she spent the whole game trying to escape, her personality does a fairly sudden 180 when poly is brought up. This specific case is more of a “the poly aspect makes the writing feel inconsistent” but the issues of her cult and coercion are also very important.
That leads into characters who ARE a better fit (and bear in mind that this would require rewrites and other stuff that would have had to happen in earlier stages of development, though the tweaks would honestly be minimal):
Minthara: She may have insecurities about the Absolute and choosing her own path, but she is never insecure when dealing with romance. She knows what she wants and how to get it. While I adore her “lay a finger on them, and I’ll cut you” dialogue in the brothel, no one would have been surprised if she was written as poly. It fits her character and if she says, “Go right on with Halsin,” we all know she means it. You could honestly take Ascended Astarion’s Halsin dialogue and paste it into hers instead. The “you are mine” line would make more sense for her than him.
Laezel: This is the most obvious one. She is not only confident in her relationships and sexual preferences, but she also comes from a poly society. Like Minthara, she knows what she wants and will refuse if she doesn’t agree with something. Again, while I love her romance shifting from only wanting casual sex to becoming strictly monogamous, no one would have been surprised if she remained consistent throughout instead.
Halsin: He doesn’t have a history of lying, he knows what he wants, and he is supposed to be one of the more mature members of the group. While I think his writing itself was handled poorly (I dedicate a whole section to that at the end), he’s still a fine option for poly. My only change would be that they make his preferences very obvious in Act 1 and or 2. I saw lots of Halsin fans being super disappointed when they found out he wasn’t willing to be monogamous (and again, you don’t learn this until sixty hours in, so you’ve not only missed out on all the other romances but you can’t just go back and remedy that easily). His talk about the drow kidnapping in the brothel is questionable but that’s easy enough to omit (I saw a lot of people wondering why it was added at all. While Astarion’s trauma was carefully implemented, many felt Halsin’s was carelessly tacked on and almost fetishized.)
This final one is tricky. We know the developers wanted a male option but it’s hard when both Wyll and Gale are written as strictly monogamous. However, going by my criteria from before and therefore omitting Gale and Astarion for aforementioned issues, that leaves us only one option (and it makes sense the more I think about it).
Wyll: Like the other three, Wyll doesn’t lie to spare people’s feelings. He knows what he wants, he accepts his decisions (even the Mizora one), and he is always down to have an open discussion about anything. The only thing holding him back from poly narratively is his nobility and wish to be traditional. Just like the others, I personally like this trait, but since we’re speaking in “what if’s” we can ignore that. It’s easy enough to tweak his story to him being more open to try new things (especially because in most endings, he doesn’t end up becoming a noble anyway). I did see a few people mention that making Wyll the poly option instead of Astarion would have made him more interesting and layered as well.
Of course, these implementations would have to be coupled with them being truthful/open about their poly traits from the beginning of the game, as mentioned before.
This lineup also fixes another problem people had: the current BG3 poly options completely cut off lesbians and straight men. Only bisexuals, straight women, or gay men can have a poly relationship in the game.
What I propose (or at least pretend to since no real changes will be made) is that Halsin and Minthara are the ones who suggest the poly thing (or more ideally, it’s a dialogue option for the PLAYER to choose, since many poly people said it’s weird to insert yourself into a couple rather than having the couple proposition you). This way the options can expand. You now have
Minthara and Laezel
Minthara and Wyll
Halsin and Laezel
Halsin and Wyll
I stumbled upon some threads in this rabbit hole where people were initially debating who they thought would be poly (before the game officially came out). The three most prominent answers were: Minthara, Laezel, and Astarion (though I should clarify that at this point, most players assumed Astarion’s hedonistic playboy persona was real and not an act). On the other hand, once the poly options were fully available and explored, most people were surprised (in a negative way) that Astarion, Shadowheart, and Karlach had been chosen. They felt that poly had been slapped on to sell more games, rather than carefully implemented to fit the story.
Now that I’ve established the alternative I believe should have happened, I can expand a little more on why what we got wasn’t satisfactory. (I’d like to add a note that I personally romanced Astarion the most, Karlach once, and Shadowheart never, so the evidence I go over will heavily lean to one side, unfortunately. There are other redditors who get into the Shadowheart debate in more detail than I could. I can link these below if anyone bothers to read this far and wants to see them.)
​

1. WHY THE CHARACTERS THE DEVELOPERS CHOSE TO MAKE POLY WEREN’T IDEAL

Karlach:
This is the most simple of the three. On the surface, I initially thought she would be a good idea for poly. She lets you sleep with the prostitutes in the brothel, she’s pretty blatant about her wants and needs, she’s touch starved, and she initially seems like she’d be fine with Halsin.
But there are two issues:
One, in the Halsin proposition dialogue, she outright states that she isn’t really cool with a poly relationship. (She says something along the lines of, “I’ll have to chew on that for a while. I’m not sure I want this right now and don’t think I ever will.”) So she’s very blatant in telling you that this isn’t what she wants, but she’ll tolerate it because she loves you. It’s easy to see why this would make poly people feel bad and wish for an alternative.
Now, this could be fixed by changing her dialogue to being super enthusiastic, but even if you did, you get problem two: She is dying. She has weeks left to live. You the player spend most of your day fighting enemies so you only have a few hours left to spend with your lover. No kind hearted partner, poly or otherwise, would waste those precious hours on a casual relationship with Halsin when they should be focusing entirely on Karlach. Halsin will still be around at the end of the game. To the player’s knowledge, Karlach won’t.
If she wasn’t dying, I would list her as a possible poly option. But because she only has a few weeks to live, she just can’t be. Her existence as one of the three poly options was what cemented the theory (in my mind) that the developers chose the most popular romance options, rather than the ideal ones.
Shadowheart:
Again, this was the one that some skeptical poly people said felt the most right in terms of presentation. She is enthusiastic about Halsin and the twins, she participates, and if you were to pick the most likely to be cool with it, she wins.
However, there are still a lot of issues with this choice (in terms of backstory, insecurities, reasons for poly, and treatment of monogamous players). Again, please bear in mind that this is the one romance I myself didn’t do so some facts may be off or vague.
Backstory: Her entire life up to this point has been erased. She was forced to do horrific things against her will (abusing her parents, being abused herself, torturing others, seducing people). She puts up a constant act of loving torture and being evil, but as you play through the game, you realize she doesn’t actually like harming people and she seeks genuine connections and love despite claiming she doesn’t. I didn’t fully appreciate her until I did an evil Dark Urge run because while my psychotic monk, dictator Minthara, and Ascended Astarion were killing people left and right, she continued to disapprove of our evil actions despite “choosing” Shar in the end. To a lesser extent than Astarion, she does lie to the player about her wishes and intentions, which is one of the criteria I went into earlier.
Insecurities: I didn’t see this myself but I read plenty of threads about how her confidence is also an act. She is one of the only characters to continually ask the player if their relationship is still ongoing and if they’re happy with her. Her dialogue throughout the romance seems to be leading to her preferring monogamy and complete loyalty, so it feels out of character when she suddenly switches at the end of her arc. (Can real life people do this? Sure. Is it a very strange and sometimes off-putting writing choice? Yes, especially because there are very few hints (if any) of her being poly throughout the romance.) This also links into my ‘communicating that a character is poly to the player’ problem from earlier.
Reasons for poly: This is what I personally had the most issue with. If you cheat on her with Mizora, she explains that she’s fine with poly and/or open relationships and asks that you communicate with her first. Fine. No issues there. The problem arises when she explains WHY she’s fine with open relationships. It’s because Lady Shar encouraged it in the cult she grew up in. You know, the cult that abused her and brainwashed her for years. The one she spent the entire game trying to escape. She continually tries to distance herself from both Shar and the practices she encouraged. She expresses disgust in the Act 3 section when talking about how she had to torture and seduce people. She could choose to be poly for herself after the fact, but players are allowed to be a little concerned that her main reason for being poly is directly a result of her abusive goddess’s teachings.
Similar to Astarion, it is possible for someone in Shadowheart’s position to be poly in real life. Everyone is different and reacts to things differently. However, from a writer and developer standpoint, it’s better to just leave her monogamous and avoid all these pitfalls. As we saw, even with her enthusiastic consent to Halsin and the twins, her backstory and character arc up to that point still left people doubtful and uncomfortable. Again, since there are much better options for poly characters, why choose Shadowheart?
My final point for Shadowheart was about how it treated monogamous players. This personally irked me and I feel like it was the worst way to introduce poly because it actively antagonizes monogamous players and ruins the experience for them. (Thankfully Karlach and Astarion’s poly romances didn’t seem to have this issue to such an obvious extent).
I’ll summarize what people experienced when romancing Shadowheart. In Act 3, Halsin asks you to start a poly relationship with Shadowheart. If you tell him, “No, I’m not interested” he says that’s fine and will move on. No problem there. The issue arises if you keep him in your party. Despite you rejecting him, he will proceed to flirt with Shadowheart instead, which makes him seem pushy and creepy (which you don’t want as a writer unless it’s intentional). This made things particularly uncomfortable for lesbian players, though I completely understand how it would make ANY monogamous player annoyed, regardless of gender or preference. What makes it worse is that Shadowheart will then flirt back with him. The game ignores any preferences or input from the player here and they can’t respond to it. This bothered me, since the game up to that point seemed to at least respect the fact that mono players exist and want to have a romance that suits them.
But you could argue it was just a bug/forgetting to flag dialogue correctly. I could accept that, until you take both Shadowheart and Halsin to the brothel. Not only will Halsin invite himself in a third time after being rejected, but Shadowheart will say she’s dreamed of having sex with him before the player can even accept or reject Halsin’s suggestion. Most people would rightfully get angry when their romantic partner mentions wanting to sleep with one of their friends. From a writer’s standpoint, this is just disrespectful to the player’s choices and has zero reason to be this way. I’m not sure how such a mistake was made and why it hasn’t been rectified, but I’m disappointed that they didn’t at least lock that section behind the poly romance. It’s a fine scene if you HAVE agreed to date Halsin, but the existence of poly relationships shouldn’t completely ruin the experience for monogamous players. The writers should have tried to view these interactions from both perspectives, rather than simply one side or the other. And again, because the writers failed to communicate Shadowheart’s preferences early on, no one encountered this until they were three acts in and invested.
[There's a character limit so I'll have to do a part 2 to finish the Astarion points and discuss Halsin.]

Hello and welcome to a very special installment of The Great Spice Off! What is The Great Spice Off?
I love the scent of Old Spice, so much so that it's the only aftershave I use as I don't really feel a need to splash anything else on. But, as we all know, Old Spice no longer makes shaving soap. They do still make a cream but that's hardly a great soap and it doesn't actually smell like Old Spice. As such my plan is to test out all the Old Spice options that are out there on as many bases as possible both to try out a variety of bases from different soapmakers and to report back to you on who really nails the scent.
I'll be shaving three times with each soap, using a variety of brushes and razors, and blades. Yes, I know that means it won't be exactly scientific but this is going to take a while and I want to use all my other shit too. Soaps will be rated on a few factors and given points from 1-5 for each.

• Oldness: How much does the soap smell like OG Old Spice. This is the more analytical scent analysis and I'm comparing to an OG Old Spice aftershave I have and the Shulton aftershave from India.
• Spiciness: This is the je ne sais quois of Old Spice. Does the soap make me feel the nostalgia, warmth, and whatever it is about the scent that works. Is there something special about it that makes it stand out? Does it invoke a memory or make a new one? The most subjective of this list.
• Lather: You know, can I make a shave soap out of it.
• Shave: How's it work on the ol' face while shaving.
• Post: How's the scent profile after the event. How does my face feel.

Crowne & Crane The Spice

And so we enter (for now) into a strange little corner of Old Spice dupery that I honestly wouldn't have even entered if I had read the description of The Spice before ordering it long ago. Also, if Crowne & Crane hadn't named the soap something pretty inaccurate. Also, also, if I hadn't accidentally picked up a second dupe of the scent recently. Yes, The Spice is not an Old Spice dupe but an Old Spice Limited Edition (LE) dupe.
Record Scratch. Double Take. Wuuuuuuuh!???
So you're asking yourself what the heck is an Old Spice LE. Well, despite what most think, Old Spice has had many scents over the years and almost none of them are riffs or new twists on their original Old Spice scent. Old Spice, the company/brand, made a plethora of scents throughout the history of producing Old Spice that, while all fell in the kind of old fashioned scenting category, had nothing to do with what we think of as Old Spice. Old Spice LE was one of these scents. From the dating I can find online, it was released sometime in the early 90s and stuck around for a chunk of that decade and possibly into the 2000s. It's also possible it was a scent released every couple of years as I can see a few different bottle versions. I don't actually know that much about it, have never smelled the original myself, and the Internet is not actually full of Old Spice product history let alone a defunct aftershave from the early 90s.
Whatever the history, what appears to be consistent is that it came in a clear bottle and was called Limited Edition. It also featured a base of amber, cedar, and woods with supporting notes of cardamom, lavender, moss, and jasmine, and citrus top notes. As you can see, aside from the citrus, it doesn't have all the much in common with Old Spice but that hasn't stopped a fragrance seller from selling a dupe of the discontinued scent for those who may still be looking for it. And so, there are soapers out there who pick this scent up for whatever reason instead of actual Old Spice. Actually, there are only two and Crowne & Crane are the only ones I can find doing it intentionally (more on that in a future review). They're also naming it The Spice, which is a little misleading considering the only spice scent in it is cardamon and given the lavender, citrus, and moss present its clearly intended to be somewhat of a fougère. The Spice, I think we can all agree, is not the name anyone would give a fougère.
So why then am I even reviewing it? That is like asking why do people climb Everest? Why do athletes push their body to the extremes? Why does the woodchuck chuck wood? If these questions could be answered then perhaps I could answer why I am reviewing this. But they can't be.
Crowne & Crane was founded in 2016 by Karl and Liz, whose last names I can't find so we'll call them Karl Crowne and Liz Crane. Karl was an enthusiast it looks like before going into the ol' soapmaking business and, being founded pre-2020, is officially an ol' timer in the artisan soap industry. Despite that longevity they aren't really all that popular around these parts with u/PhilosphicalZombie and u/loudmusicboy literally being the only two folks who appear to use them regularly if at all. I'd say that's maybe because they're not just a shave soap company but Stirling isn't either so that logic kind of flies out the window. Then again, we're a bunch of grown men and women telling other people how we removed hair from our bodies on a daily basis. Logic means nothing here.
Crowne & Crane have two bases, vegan and tallow. Most of their soaps are in tallow only and that's what The Spice comes in so that's what we're working with here. Of note is a commitment to organic, humanely-raised cows for the beef tallow, which is always a plus in my book (and sustainably sourced palm oil). The soap itself is kind of dry and chalky, not in a bad way and it wasn't hard or falling apart. It's a soft, dry soap, which are not contradictory things. The base is made up of Potassium Tallowate, Sodium Tallowate, Potassium Stearate, Sodium Stearate, Aloe Vera Juice, Potassium Cocoate, Sodium Cocoate, Phthalate-Free Fragrance, Potassium Shea Butterate, Sodium Shea Butterate, Kokum Butter, Sodium Lactate, Glycerin, Lanolin, Tussah Silk. Nothing to much to comment on here except I can't stop saying the word tussah over and over in my head. It's a weird word and now it doesn't feel real I've said it so much. Tu... ssah. Tooo suuuhhh...
The labeling is a nice vintage boat symbol, which, again, is a bit misleading given the LE branding was very much a modern (for the 90s) Old Spice look, not the classic schooner branding of the OG Old Spice. If you weren't paying attention (*cough* me *cough*) you might just order this thinking you got an Old Spice dupe and open the lid to find you most assuredly did not. Well, open the lid is a bad description as I bought their 3 oz puck option instead of the 5 oz jar and it came wrapped in paper. 3 oz, by the way, is a great mid-price option that gives you more than a tiny sample but not a full plastic tub. I'd be perfectly happy to have other shaving companies offer this... please... please... there's so much soap under my sink. So... much... soap.
(Sidenote: if you are looking to get their soaps, do it quick as they're going on hiatus during a move in two days!)
Oldness: 0
As a scent not designed to smell like Old Spice this one knocks it out of the park. In fact, it does such a great job not smelling like Old Spice I'd put it up there with some of the greatest scents that don't smell like Old Spice ever made. Have a scent that doesnt's smell like Old Spice that you love? This one smells as much not like Old Spice as that one does! If you're looking for something that doesn't smell like Old Spice but has the word Spice featured in its name and the words "Old" and "Spice" in the description next to each other than this is the soap for you.
Spiciness: 3
This is actually a pretty solid scent even if its called The Spice but isn't really a spicy scent at all. It's definitely a vintage scent, though, and reminds me a bit of Seaforth! Spiced but not as good. Because of that I'm going to say that it still captures a bit of that classic feel that Old Spice gives you even if its a scent from the 90s, a decade that has yet to fall into the "classic" zone and thus still feels like everything from it was cringe (including teenage me).
Lather: 5
What an absolutely brilliant lather The Spice kicks up. From the moment water hits it turning it into a thick prot-lather to the gloriously shiny conclusion, it's just a pleasure to lather. The soap is super thirsty, which can often lead to some dialing issues but I never had those aside from having to add a lot of water to both my larger scoop shave and my medium scoop. You don't need a lot of soap to get this going big and it's really easy to get there and looks great the entire time. If you were going to make an ad about shave soap -- as we all dream to do -- and needed a pretty lather to build up this would be a great choice.
Shave: 3
The Spice offers an incredible cushion of soap that can tackle even the most aggressive razor, making it feel barely there on your skin. However, it is, at best, mid-tier on its slickness with limited residual slickness too. As I reduced the amount of soap I used on each shave I figured I'd eventually hit a lather that was both full of cushion and slickness, but even on my final shave with the least amount of lather I wasn't too impressed with the glide provided. There's slickness there, it's not like dragging some sort of pillowy sandpaper over your face or anything but despite the copious amounts of water I added it never truly peaked.
Post: 2
The Spice's Old Spice LE scent isn't exactly complimentary with either my Indian Old Spice for the vintage one. It's not an afront to the nostrils or anything (sometimes I picture what nostrils being afronted would look like and it weird me out) but it ain't great. It probably plays a bit better with the more floraly vintage spice if I was forced to choose one by some deranged wet shaving person forcing people to shave with stuff. The soap also left my skin feeling a little sticky for some reason, like there was a layer of it still on there. That dissipated quickly but it was an odd sensation.
Final Verdict: 13
Crowne & Crane might be one of my favorite soaps to lather as it's easy to do, looks fantastic, lathers big, and just drinks up the water. It's just kind of fun working it into a lather and for someone who appreciates the process of wetshaving that's a big deal. The shave doesn't quiet live up to the lather, though, despite some really great cushion. Where it really disappoints is the post shave where it not only still doesn't smell like Old Spice (even if it was never trying to) but also left my face feeling a little icky. No one likes an icky face, just ask .
Previous Great Spice Offs:

1. 1940s Old Spice Shaving Soap in Vintage Mug (9)
2. 1973-91 Old Spice Shaving Soap (7)
3. Old Spice Shaving Cream (Original) (12)
4. Master Soap Creations Vintage Spice (19)
5. Black Ship Grooming Classic (17)
6. OSP Old Gold (19)
7. Chiseled Face Groomatorium Trade Winds (17)
8. Wholly Kaw Twice as Spice (17)
9. Barrister and Mann Barrister's Reserve Spice (21)
10. Mama Bear Aged Spice (10)
11. MERShaving Old Timer Spice (20)
12. Soap Commander Endurance (20)
13. Signature Soaps Novus Spice (17)
14. Hoffman's Shave and Soap Company Burn the Ships (19)
15. Phoenix Artisan Accoutrements Cold Spice (15)
16. Hendrix Classics & Co Commodore (20)
17. Ginger's Garden Old Spice Type (15)
18. Lisa's Natural Herbal Creations Mariner (10)
19. Stone Field Shaving Company Ltd. No. 37 (18)
20. Cooper & French Old Goat (19)
21. The Holy Black Artisan Line Shaving Soap (21)
22. Stirling Soap Co. Stirling Spice (20)
23. Van Yulay Spicy Man (10)
24. Pinnacle Grooming The Good Ship OS (15)
25. Mystic Water Soap Windjammer (14)
26. The Village Soap Smith Old Spice (Type) (14)
27. Cloud Shave "Unscented" (13)
28. Wet the Face Spices From the Sea (17)
29. Artifact Soapworks Old Spice (Type) (15)
30. DentonMajik Ole Fife (21)
31. Phoenix Artisan Accouterments Oud Spice (17)
32. Lativ Natural Skin Revival Shaving Soap Old Spice (8)

Special Editions

• Summer Break Soaps Remote Learning
• Spearhead Shaving Company Seaforth! Spiced
• Eleven Shaving Unscented/Hendrix Classics & Co Commander

I'm also looking for the below soaps if you've got any you're willing to sell/trade/donate:

• Wild West Shaving Co. Snake Oil
• Wickam Spice Trade
• Occult Grooming Essentials Modern Spice
• Fougare Salem

I already have these soaps that I have not reviewed yet:

• Bundubeard Reijger
• Bundubeard Drommedaris
• Bundubeard De Goede hoop
• Areffa Soap The Sea Son

Can we keep a tally every time Stephanie inserts herself and her life into a case? 🤦🏽‍♀️ I’m watching part 4 of the Menendez case and here so she goes bringing up an abusive relationship she was in and being scared to go a trip with them. This case is about men killing their parents. How is she relating to it 🙄😒

I played a visual novel type [pc] indie game back in I believe [2015 or 2016] that was based on I believe "police men & women with a murder case happening and the twist being that the main character is evil and psychotic."
I understand that is such a rough description since I really don't remember much but here are all the points I could vaegly remember:

• The main female characters last name was something along the name of "bologna" or something with B
• She seemed very sassy and kept pushing back in the story against her supervisor who was a man with I believe a flame for a head or galaxy??
• The game was either from Gamejolt or Itch.io
• It had a distinct scratchy art style leaning to the western cartoons and being black and white
• There was a still illustration scene where the main character was entering a manic episode
• I remember looking up gameplay videos after playing it but seeing not many videos. Maybe only one guy who thoroughly played it all with a bad sounding mic
• I drew a rough mockup of the characters as far as I could remember. https://imgur.com/a/Pc1e94v

I remember creating a self-insert art piece based on the original sprite so if I find it, I'll post it here!

My husband and I are crippled with indecision on pursuing IVF. He doesn't have bio children, but has been a great stepdad for six years to my two kids. We were ready to talk having more just in time for the pandemic, so we waited. Then he got long covid, and we waited some more. He's still not fully recovered, but was functional enough two years ago that we started TTC.
Few months later, had a positive test and we were both very happy. Unfortunately, that ended up being a CP. Three days of joy followed by months of depression. I was already "advanced maternal age," so after that I thought fuck it let's speed things up with fertility drugs. Insert regrets here, because my obgyn prescribed stuff willy nilly without monitoring anything. Two burst ovarian cysts later, I finally went to an actual reproductive endocrinologist and discovered meds had thinned my lining so much implantation was impossible.
At this point, I'd be over 40 before giving birth so IVF is the only avenue left. We talked about it and decided to switch my insurance this year to one with IVF coverage. And found out as always American insurance fucking sucks. I got a great estimate for the first cycle (3k), which will increase to at least 9k for a second. I can live with averaging 12k for both, but my husband still thinks it's too expensive because he's from a country with reasonably priced healthcare. Third cycle would be 100% out of pocket at 20k+, which neither of us are okay with. We're five months into the year, and haven't made a decision one way or another.
I don't go googly eyed over babies anymore, honestly I wish my husband never wanted any as that'd be so much easier to live with. I don't care on my end one way or another, because I already have kids. Since men can spit out viable sperm til their deathbed and beyond, I'm scared he'll regret not having kids. There's 0% of me that desires to change diapers again, but I'll also always be sad about our loss. We'd have a 9 month old now, and that sounds pretty nice.
Neither of us seems capable of saying a final yes or no. I don't know what else we could be asking ourselves. Maybe indecision is the no, I don't know. Somebody hit me with some truth, advice, questions to ask ourselves, anything.

I can't be friends with most women anymore. Every single one has been in a relationship, or is currently in one (which is usually the case), or they talk about all the men who're dying after them or creeping on them (example: "guys from are soo creepy, they always stare at me"). And they NEVER stop talking about all the male attention and love they're getting.
I recently made new friends on a game and of course, most of the people on that game have had relationships and marriages or are currently in one. So one of the new female friends recently separated from her husband, only to find a guy to date from the game we play (who's friends with both of us btw) not even a month later. She and I have similar personalities, yet, she still got picked over me. And I still get no attention there, despite them not knowing how I look and otherwise being quite social. Then, we get to talking about how long we've been single, and she mentions how she just hates being single and she's been single for at most a month or two before finding another guy, and this has been going on since she was 16. I mentioned how I've been single most of my life (but obviously I didn't bother to divulge that I've been single ALL my life), and that it's not really that bad so why do they find it so upsetting, only for her to respond that she just likes having someone who cares about her and who she can care for.
Maybe I'm just sensitive as fuck, but the way she had said it was as if I don't also want someone to care for me. Or as if I'm happy having no one desire me. She can separate from her husband 1 million times, has kids and other baggage, but can still find a guy within a month, meanwhile I can't even get one guy to be interested in me despite not having all the baggage that she does, and despite otherwise having the same personality as her. And she tells me it's not about looks, but what do you know, she's pretty.
Call me petty, but I've stopped talking to her at this point. Women like her always like to claim male attention isn't all that, but they sure as hell can't even live a month without it without getting "anxiety". Meanwhile, we'll get told by these same women that "you're lucky you're single". Like thanks, I sure am lucky to not be as desirable as you 🙄

Yesterday, I was using “the app” to chat with men and get into potentially interesting conversations. I was chatting with someone I had chatted before but had never seen. After chatting with that person, I was asked for a picture, which I sent and instantly got blocked.
It’s a tale as old as time, however, I couldn’t help but feel a sting from how normal it was for a faceless profile to react like that.
As I’m reflecting on why I’m bothered, I am reminded of the phrase “No one owes you [insert].” Is it not a graceful excuse for a lack of human empathy? At a fundamental level, most understand that “no one owes” anyone anything, because we all have free will to determine what to feel a sense or responsibility towards. For instance, no one owes anyone to respect the law, but most people do because of rationality, self preservation etc.
Now why do we expect people to be understanding when there is nothing to understand or reflect on. If someone does not provide any basic justification, clarity, or reassurance as to why they are rude (to preserve their own repulsive behavior, fear, cowardice etc.) why should one feel unjustified to retaliate with their own vile behavior, validating their frustration, hurt etc.
No one owes you [insert] but also you don’t owe anyone [insert].
PS. Just for clarity I have never seen that other person and do “not” want anything from them. I’m simply discussing entitlement and the missing human element in the interaction.
What are your thoughts on the subject?

My period is coming up so I thought I would try inserting a tampon (have make progress w/ my vaginismus since the last time I tried).
Has anyone tried the non-applicator tampons? I feel like it might be easier to put in because it’s smaller. Idk, the plastic applicators scare me and I get scared of getting poked. Mentally the non-applicator ones seem easier for me to insert but the friction part seems painful… 😞😞