I want to get an Associates Certification for Excel so I can put it on my Resume, but I am very worried on passing especially since it is $100 every time you take it so I want to make sure I pass on my first try. I've been practicing and getting as many resources as I can find online, but a lot seem to cover different things or aren't helpful, and I really don't know what's actually going to be on the exam. I don't know if it is entirely an interactive worksheet doing assignments for questions or if there's some written portion. I also need to know what exactly is going to be covered in the test from formulas, functions, ribbon functionalities, so please if anyone has taken the exam recently tell me what I should prepare for and any resources you have used that helped you out so that I can be prepared when I take it. Thanks.

Hi there. Zone 8a/b seond year gardener here.
I've seen loads of folks on this reddit and other gardening related subs have a staunch position against the use of landscape fabric (it's non-effective against weeds, it makes soil management much more difficult, it will wreck your tiller, etc.). A friend of mine (who actually got me into gardening in the first place) has the opposite position when it comes to using landscape fabric for raised beds vs. cardboard. I'm inclined to believe them since they've been gardening for a decade plus and their vegetable yields are through the roof almost every season and I've rarely if ever seen them pull weeds near their beds. When I mentioned using carboards on my (first ever) beds, they said it works fine until it doesn't (cardboard will eventually decay and weeds will take over my bed). We do live in an area where we deal with a lot of dandelion, blackberry, and other very fast growing and hard to manage weed varieties. So my question is which is better? Is this more of a right tool for the right job situation? We own our home and once the beds are in, they're not moving until they need to be replaced in a few years and I plan to either put down mulch or compressed pea-gravel around the beds maybe fence off the perimeter of the bed area (more decorative fencing than actually preventing things from going in). Open to any suggestions or tips or advice. I really don't want to have to deal with the out of control weeds on a near daily basis if I can avoid it. I'm fine with once every week or two.

Former Colorado Buffaloes F Tristan Da Silva declared for the draft and is 100% committed: https://twitter.com/DraftExpress/status/1785032667370832128 It's his birthday today...he is 23 years old. Born in Germany to a Brazilian father and German mother, with a brother who also played in the States at Stanford (Oscar), Da Silva made the jump from Bayern Munich's youth academy to Colorado. He improved every season of his four year career and now is headed to the professional ranks.
Da Silva measured in at 6'8.25 w/out shoes and a 6'10.25 wingspan at the combine. 217 pounds. He's got the height/length you're looking for from a combo forward, although he's on the thinner side. He doesn't have the widest frame but I do think he can gain muscle from where he currently is. He already has year to year and it's something that'll be important for him to continue to add as strength concerns are one of his biggest question marks as a prospect.
Da Silva's athleticism is something that has been called into question. I've read the posts about him in recent days on here, which is somewhat why I saved him for last of the three Colorado guys. I wanted to cut to the chase and really see what people think and think he is someone that seems to elicit a lot of debate. I think he's a better athlete than some think he is, but obviously, he isn't a standout athlete either. His lateral quickness is viewed in a negative light by some but it really isn't bad. His lateral quickness is above average. He can hang with guards on switches. He can hang with most forwards in isolation. His length really aids him on switches against smaller players. He has the mobility to stay linked and will contest/block when they put a shot up.
Da Silva's issues athletically are that he doesn't have great balance and doesn't have great flexibility. On a straight line drive, Da Silva fares well laterally. He can handle a crossover, he can handle some counters and stick with guards/wings. But it's when he's really forced to make a quick change of direction and reaction where he has his struggles. His biggest issue athletically is that he's not the quickest twitch. He's mobile, he has good feet, he's coordinated, but he's not the most fluid and he's not the quickest twitch. His defensive footwork is very good when he's not being handsy, but unfortunately he does get handsy at times on the drive.
Defending quick rips closing out defensively for example is something he struggles with. He doesn't react consistently well to initial moves. He often does, but not consistently. You can get by him defensively with a quick initial move. His all around defensive awareness is worse than some people seem to think it is...ball watches a ton, back cut a ton, misses out on rebounds, misses out on rotations. When he's focused and dialed in, he's a fantastic rotater. He makes on time, sharp rotations. He helps the helper. He hustles and flies around defensively and is active shoring gaps. But he doesn't do that consistently. He loses focus way too much, for a guy who is billed as a 3/D player. His screen navigation is pretty substandard for a veteran. Just does not navigate traffic well enough and strength sees him bumped off spots when navigating screens. He doesn't get taken out of plays, but he does end up behind plays. He can recover with length and hustle at times, but not always.
His lack of strength hurts his ability to defend the post. He can be a little too upright defensively in general and while he will battle in the post at times, he can be pretty weak down there. Not being down in a stance possession to possession means you can drive into him from the post and the perimeter. Were a few possessions he actually fell down with drivers going into his chest, and he couldn't maintain his balance. He is generally good at closing out on balance and in a disciplined way but not always...he gets jumpy on defense. He overhelps a lot defensively, ends up in no man's land, and gives up open 3's or drives off closeouts...one of his biggest negatives on the defensive end.
He does use his length really well on contests when he stays in front of drivers, he defends PnR ballhandlers well, and he uses his length well in passing lanes. He isn't a major event maker defensively but will break up passes and generate steals with his length and activity off ball. When he's locked in, he's a very good team defender. He's simply not always locked in and he just does not have the physical tools to not be locked in every single possession, either on the perimeter or post. He's one of those guys who's versatile defensively but in a tweener way. He's not really an elite option on anyone, but he's capable. He doesn't have the instincts or the toughness to be a guy who can switch up the lineup, but he is capable against 2/3/4 positions.
Da Silva is a pretty mediocre rebounder for his size which is another red flag surrounding him as a prospect, he's not a bad one but also not someone who's necessarily pursuing balls aggressively by any means. He will be expected to be a contributor on the boards as a swing forward and not being able to do so will undercut his value.
Da Silva has a unique blend of skills on the offensive end. His jump shot is his best trait. He was awesome as a midrange shooter this year and he shot 39% from 3 on 5 attempts. 83.5% from the line, and has shot at least 37% on increasing numbers of attempts the last three seasons. His shot is for real...great mechanics. Great extension, great balance. No wasted motion. He makes shots off screens, and he's an elite C&S guy who does a good job creating space for himself off the catch when coming off screens and when relocating on the perimeter. He has some movement shooting ability, but for the most part he's someone who works his way off flare screens, out of DHO's, off-ball screens and leaking out to the perimeter, and catches and fires. He's a very good pull up shooter. He likes the pull up out of the PnR, off curls and off DHO's in the midrange. He will duck in and find himself open around the FT line and take the FT jumper; he's good at finding gaps for himself for jumpers all over the court. He has a little bit of PnP ability. He sets solid screens himself to open teammates for 3's. He does a very good job slipping screens and diving to the basket or leaking out to the perimeter and obtaining easy looks from the outside. He's always catch ready and he's quick into his motion as a shooter across the board which along with his size makes him hard to contest.
Da Silva will find rollers and cutters out of the PnR. He finds the dump off guy when cutting to the rim. He moves the ball and will make the right read within the flow of the offense. He will bring the ball up and can facilitate and get his team into offense. He's not really an advanced playmaker but has some drive and dish ability and can make solid reads as a live dribble passer, but he also overpenetrates and turns the ball over with bounce passes that don't hit the target. He turns the ball over a lot that way. Gets cut off on drives and attempts a dump off bounce pass to get himself out of trouble. Picks up his dribble at inopportune times. He's not an amazing ballhandler overall...he's a bit gumby like with his movements, he's a bit herky jerky, long strides, has a spin move he likes, and he has a good crossover that does gain him space, but he doesn't have incredible burst nor a special first step and he does not have a ton of advanced moves. He accelerates well and he will get to the rim off his own creation but he isn't always gonna create separation with his handle, and he can lose the ball while looking to create, he will have the ball stripped, and he's not always strong with the ball. He is good with the hostage dribble and keeping defenders on his back...he overall does a nice job with pace. He understands pace, he understands taking rhythm away from defenders, he does have an in-and-out move and he has pretty good control on these moves. He works his way to his spots both in the midrange and inside, in a somewhat deliberate way while still being decisive, but he will be stonewalled in the paint and on drives.
His cutting really is a special part of his game. He has awesome instincts as a cutter---he reads his defenders, and has great timing in concert with the offensive flow of the possession. He dives quickly to the basket. He's good for a few baskets a game as a cutter. He moves well off the ball in general and keeps the offense humming. Off ball screens, weaving through the defense, he stays active on the offensive end which helps keep defenses off balance.
Da Silva has an excellent ball fake. He draws fouls with it down low, and he freezes defenders with it on the perimeter which allows him to get past. He also has a jab step. He will change his stride length and draw contact on drives. He will change speeds and explode to the rim. He has a behind the back counter. He doesn't have a ton of dribble moves but does have a diversity of tools he will turn to, to get inside the paint. He overall has very good timing as a driver, which is what allows him to get inside. He uses the glass well and has opposite hand finishes in his disposal. He drives with both hands. Sometimes he'll try to bait a foul and throw up poor shots with no real chance of a finish. He will be swallowed up around the rim at times where his lack of elite athleticism/strength/ability to create space can come back to hurt him.
Da Silva really likes to use spinners, floaters and hooks around the rim. He gets good extension, has a lot of range as a finisher and will take shots from pretty far out and make them at a high rate. He has very nice touch on these shots. For a guy without tremendous halfcourt explosiveness, this is a very good skill for Da Silva to possess because it gives him an ability to beat contests and an ability to score at the rim even if he isn't able to get directly to it. He has a jump stop, eurostep at his disposal. He has a lot of craft as a creator and around the rim which allows him to be a solid overall finisher but not an elite one.
His comfort with the ball makes him a good transition player. He does well getting to and finishing against defenses that aren't set, at the rim. It also makes him good against closeouts. He can be a little passive at times, which is a drawback many have had of him over the years. When decisive, he does a good job taking advantage of scrambling defenses in both the halfcourt and in transition. The coordination with the ball and the fact he takes long strides allows him to get to the rim quickly in these possessions. It also aids him as a PnR ballhandler.
Da Silva will use his size to his advantage in the post. He turns some drives into post-ups. He will find cutters and shooters from the post as a passer. He'll hit turnarounds, he'll turn in and finish with layups, he'll turn to the middle and take hook shots and floaters. He has nice touch on these shots and has nice footwork in the post and doesn't get rushed. He's someone that can take advantage of switches down low which is an important wrinkle for a forward these days.
Tristan Da Silva has elicited a lot of conversation on this board the last several days. I see him as a guy who is underrated and overrated from person to person. The truth is usually somewhere in the middle. He's an interesting talent, and he's got the framework of a player who has the skills teams look for in a swing forward today, but not every dot connects. But with his shooting and all around versatile skill set on the offensive end and he having real switchability possibilities defensively, he's someone who is viewed by most as a guy with a pretty high floor.
I'm a little bit...I'm not sure what to think honestly. I'll leave it to y'all. Are you all Thumbs Up, Down, or Across on Tristan Da Silva?

Former Colorado Buffaloes PG KJ Simpson declared for the draft and is 100% committed: https://twitter.com/KSimpsonJstatus/1778862077618118765 Simpson committed to Arizona out of high school as a four star recruit but decommitted after Sean Miller was fired and chose to play for Colorado. He was on the Pac 12 All Freshman team as a rookie, Second team All Pac 12 as a sophomore, and First team All Pac 12 as a junior, averaging 20/6/5. Advanced metrics and impact stats ranked Simpson as a top 5-10 player this past season in college basketball.
Simpson measured in at 6'0.25 w/out shoes at the combine. 6'4.5 wingspan which is solid for a smaller guard. He's 6'1.5 or so in shoes which is close to what he measured in at Colorado. He's a small guard but plays with grit and toughness. He tested well athletically....agility and speed are pluses for him and he can also elevate quite surprisingly at times. He's a below the rim finisher overall but he can elevate with time/space and when he can really load.
Although he's fast in a straight line and extremely shifty, he's doesn't have tremendous burst in the halfcourt offensively, nor is he elite laterally defensively. But he uses craft and timing to play quicker than he is on the offensive end in the halfcourt.
Simpson has some of the most shake as a ballhandler in this class. He has a very tight handle and can handle in tight spaces, can break double teams, has tons of different counters, fakes, combos in his disposal, can drive with both hands, hesitations and in-and-outs that get defenders off balance...awesome at the hostage dribble, rising up and drawing fouls behind his back or creating space to finish at the basket, misdirections. He is one of the best PnR ballhandlers and playmakers in this class...really has a sixth sense of understanding pacing. He's fantastic at snaking the PnR and creating looks for himself or making plays for his teammates....he hits his teammates in their pockets. From the perimeter and the post. Cutters, shooters, dump off men...you name it. Scoops, bounce passes, baseball passes, cutters, skip passes, lobs. He's got a lot of different tricks in his bag and really slings the ball around the floor. Creative and hits tight windows on time. Elite out of bounds passer, consistently finds the big or a cutter for easy baskets and/or fouls. He'll hook guys arms and draw fouls on them in the PnR. You can't rush him as a creator or playmaker. He finds gaps, he probes decisively, and he makes plays.
Simpson is one of the very best outlet passers in this class. He loves the hit ahead pass. He's awesome in transition. His speed is a force in transition. He always keeps his head up. Maintains full court awareness and has amazing timing as a passer. Not just the timing but the accuracy and the ability to make dimes with both hands and the versatility as a passer. His understanding of what kind of pass to make depending on the circumstance. The pass itself and the touch and direction of the pass. He's a great ball mover and the kind of passer who thinks a pass ahead---he often makes a pass with the idea of creating an open look with the next pass by a teammate after that. He passes teammates open, makes very quick reads and is an awesome processor, which makes him an great playmaker.
Simpson does take risks as a passer and will turn the ball over, which will come with the territory of his style of play, but only had a 14% turnover rate which is an overall good number for someone who is fairly ball dominant.
He likes the up and under and he loves the behind the back baseline move. He uses misdirection dribbles a lot to surprise defenders and rejects screens. His timing and craft allow him to play quicker than he is and gain a step often but not always in the halfcourt. If you can hang with his initial moves, he's simply not big enough and doesn't have the explosiveness to create enough separation to finish cleanly around the rim. His touch around the rim isn't incredible for a guy who's a fantastic shooter, he misses bunnies around the rim or doesn't display very good accuracy on touch shots at the rim. He does have very good touch on his floater and diversity...can use both hands, he changes the flight of his floater depending on the circumstance, and he's someone who can stop on a dime from full speed and has fantastic body control with the floater. He will use the jump stop and he has pretty long range with his floater. His all around rim numbers were not anything to write home about this season and never were in college. He plays strong, and will use his strength to muscle balls up at the rim and create contact or finish through contact. He has ball fakes, head fakes at his disposal. The hostage dribble keeps guys on his back. He got to the line 5 times a game which is a great number for a 6'1 guard and made 88%. I think that's a part of his game that will translate at the next level, but his raw finishing will likely never be a strength of his. His ability to pressure the rim is an important trait for any smaller guard to have, however, and makes him an all around scoring weapon and offensive force.
Simpson is an awesome pull up shooter. That helps alleviate concerns surrounding his finishing. He's got fantastic balance and footwork as a pull up shooter and he can rise up on a dime which makes his shot very difficult to contest. He was an elite shooter all around this year, after being a mediocre one his first two seasons in college. He really worked hard on his jumper during the summer of 2023 and it paid off. He's got great mechanics as a shooter. His mechanics as a shooter are very clean, with a quick trigger. He is an elite PnR pull up shooter. He doesn't need much space to fire. He simply does an expert job of creating space for himself as a shooter in the PnR and actually using the big to his advantage on ball, and he will screen himself and create open shots for teammates which is what the attention he requires opens up for teammates. He will make fantastic reads as a passer as he's coming off screens out of DHO's.
He is one of the better off ball movers in this class. He's a great cutter, that lulls defenders to sleep and quickly dives to the rim and loves to cut to the rim with his defender navigating traffic, he is great at relocations off ball, he flies off screens on the perimeter, and he's always ready on the catch. He's one of the best C&S guys in this class. He's always on balance and square to the basket. Simpson shot 44% from 3 on 5 attempts a game and has very deep range; he's someone that extends a defense far from the basket with the range he has.
He loves the pull up baseline in the midrange. He sells the drive with his final step before rising up. He makes shots over contests. He can occasionally have pull ups blocked because of his size. He is very good at feeling the defender, and either spinning off their body or simply deftly stepping back and quickly rising up and hitting pull ups in the midrange. He likes the turnaround pullup around the FT line and the elbows, or quickly taking it to a defender and pushing them back, which doesn't allow for them to be able to recover when he pulls up. His game winner against the Gators was on such a baseline pull up; the decisiveness he plays with forces defenders to play on his terms.
Simpson averaging 6 rebounds a game at 6'1 is so impressive. It's cliche, but he really does have a nose for the ball, an innate sense of where balls will be off the rim off misses and he gobbles them up in the air. He's willing to mix it up in the trees for rebounds. He pursues boards. It's a fantastic ancillary trait to have that compliments and enhances all the other things he does so well. His ability to grab and go and make plays in transition as a passer or as a transition 3 shooter makes his defensive rebounding abilities a real weapon for him and his team.
Simpson is a bit of a mixed bag on the defensive end. He has some really good possessions of ball denial and ball pressure and being a pest. His agility testing at the combine does lend one to believe he can be a pest as an on ball guard going forward and he showed moments of that, picking up full court and forcing steals, or in the halfcourt sticking to his man and forcing tough shots. But he wasn't consistent at all in doing so, and he gave up a lot of dribble penetration.
His effort on the defensive end comes and goes. He's just not elite laterally overall. Guys who quickly take it to him off the dribble and force him to really react quickly can burn him. He can navigate screens but very regularly took circuitous routes and died on screens too often. He ended up either out of position or simply late to contest when he did so. Went under screens, and allowed open 3's, but also allowed drives when he didn't work hard enough to get back in front. He does a great job anticipating passes; causing deflections and outright thefts. He intercepts a ton of passes. He likes sneaking up behind ballhandlers or guys in the post and tying them up or forcing balls out of their hands. He's active in passing lanes and breaks up passes. He does a good job suffocating ballhandlers on traps. He averaged 1.6 steals a game but think that belies his ability a bit in this area.
He's too small to contest most shots and he loses focus a ton on defense and ends up behind plays. He will get back cut although he's not as bad as other teammates at Colorado were. He does battle hard on post switches. His overall defense wasn't anything to write home about while in college, and he likely never will be a great defensive player because he just doesn't have the tools, but he wasn't a liability this season. Less offensive load should help his defense but he doesn't have a very high ceiling on this end.
KJ Simpson is entering the NBA as one of the most polished offensive talents this draft has at his position. You could say at any position. He can score and make plays for others on or off the ball. The questions surrounding his size, defense, and ability to finish/pressure the rim at the NBA level, is what has some wondering whether he'll be able to stay on the floor at the pro level. He was one of the best performers during the combine scrimmages the last two days. There are not many guys as skilled as he is in this class, and I think he will find a way to make it work.
Are you all Thumbs Up, Down, or Across on KJ Simpson?

Former Colorado G/F Cody Williams, a McDonald's All American and top 5-10 recruit in the 2023 class, entered the NBA Draft and is all in: https://twitter.com/wojespn/status/1782484315122614490 Cody missed 13 games this season with wrist, eye, and ankle injuries and after a very strong start to his season, which saw him skyrocket to the top 5 of mocks with some flirtations with the #1 overall pick, he cooled down and has seen his stock mostly sit from around the end of the top 10 to mid-teens.
Williams measured in at 6'6.5 without shoes and 7'1 wingspan at the combine. He's about 6'8 in shoes, and combined with his awesome wingspan and reach, is fantastic size for a combo forward. His wingspan is central to some of his biggest strengths as a prospect. On the downside, he only weighed in at 178. He's a thin guy with a thin frame and he'll likely always be on the thinner side. Strength is a big concern of his as a prospect, both as a player and in terms of his ability to remain durable throughout an 82 game season.
Williams is a good athlete. His athleticism is a little distinct from many. He's very fluid and light on his feet as an athlete. He has very good body control in the air. He can really jump with a little space and when on the move. But he doesn't have tremendous pure burst/explosiveness from a standstill. He has good quickness and accelerates through the gears quickly and the fact he's light on his feet and has good timing as a driver makes his first step a decent one, but he doesn't have an elite top gear.
Williams not having elite burst and being on the frail side means he's not too much of a pure self-creator at the moment. When he gets to the rim, it's usually in translation, off rips from the perimeter, out of DHO/PNR's on ball, or off curls and screens off the ball. He gets to the rim off designed actions and he gets to the line at a decent rate on these actions, but not much off his own creation.
Williams was a fantastic finisher at the rim this year. He gets great extension around the rim. He takes long strides as a driver. He's really light on his feet as a driver. He will change speeds, give a defender a hesitation move before attacking out of the PnR and does a good job slithering his way to the rim. He's decisive when he decides to catch and rip from the perimeter and has really good timing as a driver. His timing, his stride length, solid quickness and fluidity makes him hard to contain when he's catching and taking it to the rim off spot ups, he's a fantastic finisher on these plays, and he's very good off curls/screen actions designed to get him downhill; his size, his strides/quickness, timing, means he's usually gaining advantages on defenders he faces. The extension he gets around the rim, and his very soft touch with floaters and hooks around the rim, gives him a lot of range around the rim to finish. He has fantastic ability to adjust in the air. Very good body control. He can finish with up and unders around the rim. He can start his flight to the rim from pretty far out and he generates contact that way...it makes his shots difficult to contest around the rim.
Williams is also an awesome cutter. A lot of his cuts for baskets were off designed plays. He does a great job reading when his defender is ball watching, does a great job manipulating defenders into creating opportunities for himself for cuts to the basket, and he dives quickly to the basket. He has great instincts as a cutter and find his way into a few easy baskets a game.
He has mismatch potential in the post with his size/length. He has nice footwork in the post. He likes turning into the basket and taking a hook/floater and his touch is also excellent on these shots. This is a part of his game that could be leveraged a bit more at the professional level and as he gains strength.
Williams isn't an awful ballhandler but he's not a great one either. He can handle in transition and he can bring the ball up and facilitate. He's not that great when handling the ball in tight spaces and can be insecure. He doesn't have a tremendous amount of shake. He does have a deceptive crossover that allows him to gain space but he doesn't have a ton of shake outside of that, nor does he have tremendous craft with his dribble. He has a nice spin move and has some impressive possessions breaking free from a defender with the spin move, but he can overuse it. He's right hand dominant as a driver and will spin back to his right on left drives. He gets stripped using the spin move or stripped looking to drive down the middle of the lane quite a bit. He will get cut off on drives because he's unable to gain separation. The combination of his only average handle, lack of strength, and pedestrian burst I think is partially responsible for his passivity on the offensive end. He doesn't have a ton of middle game at this point; he's a mediocre pull-up shooter. He's fantastic in transition with his athleticism and his ability to both push it with the ball and be a play finisher, but he's just not a halfcourt self-creator. The question is whether or not people feel this is a part of his game that he can develop in the years ahead. Because his ceiling on the offensive end hinges quite a bit on this part of his game taking a jump.
He does get to the rim out of the PnR. As said above, he does a nice job slithering to the rim out of the PnR. Plays under control and is able to maneuver his way to the basket. He finds rollers out of the PnR and he can make the skip pass. He is a fair drive and dish option. He's not an advanced playmaker or passer but has some flashes. He moves the ball well and he does a pretty good job getting his team into offensive sets as a facilitator. He will find cutters as a facilitator from the key. He turned the ball over too much...had a fair few miscommunications with teammates, lazy/poor passes, and he's not strong enough with the ball right now. He will get bumped off spots when looking to drive and not be able to get to the rim. He gets pushed away from the rim on drives a decent amount but his length still allows him to finish on a lot of these drives; but it also makes him more vulnerable to turnovers as defenders can take away his air space and force him into picking up his dribble.
Williams has a mechanically sound shot and 41.5% from 3 but only on 1.5 attempts. He shot 71% from the FT line. He is elite in the C&S. He's someone who needs a little space to gather his footwork but he does a good job at making himself a presentable target from the perimeter and hitting the open looks. He's not the most dynamic shooter currently, but I do think the C&Sing is for real, and combined with his secondary creation ability and ability to make plays off closeouts, he's someone who's a solid option as an off ball scorer.
Williams is not much of a rebounder for a 6'8 player. This is another red flag that many have regarding his desire to take on contact, lack of aggression and lack of physicality. He was a good defender anyway at Colorado this year....he flips his hips very fluidly. He is very light on his feet. Moves really well laterally overall, although he doesn't always react to initial moves as well as he needs to. His wingspan is of big benefit to his ability to recover when beat and contest shots. He has urgency/quickness in recovering when he's beat, but he can be beaten a little too often.
Screens can really bury him at times, but he's not a disaster in dealing with traffic/navigation. It's not a positive for him at the moment overall, which further illuminates the necessity in he gaining muscle going forward. He will at times shy away from contesting shots around the rim. He isn't super active off the ball defensively. He does a good job using his length to deter passes in passing lanes but he's not a ball hawk and he plays a pretty contained brand of defense. You appreciate the fundamentally sound nature of his defense but also believe there's defensive playmaking ability there that's gone untapped.
Cody will get pushed back on ball defensively against guys who drive into his chest. He's a really good isolation defender, and also a strong PnR defender where his length really comes to fore, he does a good job rotating and has strong overall defensive instincts, but he will give up buckets to drivers going downhill off DHO's/screens. He can't wall them off. He can be pretty jumpy on rotations...he bites on fakes and flies out of plays too often. He has moments of discipline but too many mistakes. Ball watches too often on defense. Freshman mistakes. His defense overall was good, and the upside is excellent on this end as/if he gains strength, but he can certainly be better than he was this season at Colorado.
Cody Williams had his ups and downs as a freshman at Colorado, but remains a very intriguing prospect with his physical tools, versatility on the offensive end, and ability and upside on the defensive end. I think he was clearly a bit oversold as a #1 pick. He's too much of a project on the offensive end and is simply not enough of a finished product to be a #1 selection even in a class like this. He has a lot of upside on both ends of the floor and simply gaining strength would be a huge boon for him as a player, but there are questions surrounding his mentality and whether he's someone who has the mental makeup of a star. There are questions surrounding how much strength he'll be able to add. Even with all of the questions, many view him as one of the highest ceiling prospects in this draft class. If it all comes together, you could see why that is, this season at Colorado.
Are you all Thumbs Up, Down, or Across on Cody Williams?
Note: Gonna make a post on all three Colorado prospects coming up. Everyone has their scouting report and personal opinion. I wanna cut to the chase...are you all down or up on these three. First things first with the highest rated of the three.

Hi entomology people, I have two situations at my house now that are evolving and I wanted to ask two distinct questions about ants and honeybees

1. Let’s do the ants first. Back when we first moved into our house I had a decently large sugar ant colony established in the front yard that I eventually, sadly, had to eliminate because of the nonstop intrusions into the kitchen area. Now it’s been years since we’ve seen a single ant but I started noticing them on the perimeter of the house and in the garden so I thought great, new ant colony near by probably won’t be a bother to me too much.

Annnnnd of course a few months later they are in the house. Not in huge numbers but definitely foraging and then establishing a trail to any tasty crumbs left anywhere, and wo is you if you left a danish in a pastry box on the counter or anything like that. We generally don’t refrigerate the pastries we bring home because it can ruin the texture to go into a cold moist space.
Anyway I started up with the usual defense which is spraying ant spray into their entry points after cleaning them up. With our previous colony right by our door step this was like a gauntlet challenge, oh you sprayed the crack we like to come in? Well, we’ll find a dozen more HAHA.. and that’s why I ended up having to go after the whole colony.
This time however it seems to actually be working, with each impingement usually we clean and locate the entry point and spray the ant spray, and intrusions into the kitchen are way down. We barely see any scouts too. However, and this is finally my question, we were away for a few days and a large water bug got into the house and died, and they were swarming it when I got home. Hundreds of ants on it, but curiously none in the kitchen area.
Can ants be trained territorially what areas are available to them and what are off limits? Could the poison pressure into the crevices they like near the kitchen be enough for them to remember where is off limits? This was not experience earlier with the colony on the property, and I’m wondering if these guys are far away enough that they aren’t happy taking losses on that kitchen. I swear the bee question is shorter.

1. Bees! We have them in our outdoor shed that has no door (it’s a southern california thing) .. they established a few weeks ago, I saw them ushering the queen into the crack of the ceiling. I couldn’t actually see the queen but I figured that’s why they were swarming. I’d had good experiences with bees visiting the property before, they always seemed totally benign and had never stung me once in the 15 years or so we’d lived here. They would even come and get water from me when I was watering the plants, it was very cute.

But it finally happened, I have a decent tomato patch going near that shed and I was standing there minding my own business ignoring the bees and watering the tomatoes when #BANG right in the forehead, no warning just BOOM headshot.. I’ve been stung by bees before on the hands mostly and it was always a little bit of a shock but this was legitimately scary, foreheads are very sensitive to bee stings it turns out. I fell to my knees in shock and ran off down the garden steps spraying water behind me to discourage any further attempts on my life.
So, I was shaken but quickly recovered .. I have been out to water since and am very wary of the drone activity but they don’t seem to view me as a threat mostly so I’m staying optimistic but their hive is growing by the day and I’m wondering if the random attacks will likely continue if I’m doing stuff near them or was it a freak occurrence? I don’t want to remove them but I should probably get them in a box. If I have a beekeeper put them in a box am I resigned to being stung once in a while (I can buy a beekeeper hat to water the plants I guess) or should I have them removed from the property to a better location?
That’s it, thanks for reading

Previous
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So, if you’re just joining us, I work at a haunted zoo now. Since I’ve gotten some rest, it feels like I’ve got my head on straight, at least, so I’d like to continue where I left off.
I sat on the floor in the office after meeting the ghost until I’d settled my rattled mind (and realized I’d forgotten to ask her name, how rude is that?). I took a deep breath and got up off the floor. Walking over and falling into the rolling chair in front of the large screen of camera views, when I brought up the camera that covered the area in which I’d spotted her, she was still there, and it seemed she hadn’t moved an inch.
Sitting there, at a loss, I continued to watch her. The ghost hung around for another five minutes or so, appearing to look at a few things off-screen, though I’m not sure what. Then she walked off into the forest and left the view of the cameras. I wasn’t sure if she vanished into the ether or if she’d gone looking into the trees to look for something.
But that wasn’t the end of the job interview, so let me jump back there. It continued into what kind of animals the zoo had, with Andrew asking me how much experience I had with dangerous animals.
I took a moment to consider the question. “So, ah…I’ve been going hunting and fishing with a neighbor since I was sixteen,” I told him. “We always have to keep an eye out for gators, bears, and hogs. Then there’s snakes, of course…snapping turtles… Since I’ve lived here my whole life and been aiming for a job with wildlife for a long time, I know a lot about the animals in Arkansas in general. But good advice for all of the above is avoid them, so I’ve had encounters, but I don’t know if you’d say I have experience with them.”
“That’s fine,” Andrew said, nodding. “That’s an answer I’m satisfied with. Now, the ghost was the appetizer, Ripley; here’s the main course. To start with, the pay isn’t twenty-five an hour. It’s fifty.”
Staring in shock for a moment, I asked, “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. But that’d be weird to post online considering what applicants think we need, so I halved it.”
“That’s… Okay, why?”
“The animals are already here. You just can’t see them.”
I stared at him for a long moment, some disbelief worming its way into my expression, before saying, “Sorry, what?”
“There’s a chance you’d naturally never see them, or at least some of them,” he continued casually. “It depends on both your genetics and how long you stay on the job. I can naturally see six of them, but that’s it. Suzanne can see all of them, and more. Some are what people would label demons or ghosts. Or magic. Mostly you’d call them cryptids. The ghost was just a warm-up; I mentioned her first because it never takes more than a week to see her if you work the night shift. If you manage to handle her okay, soon you’ll be able to see the animals too. The more time you spend on the grounds, for weird reasons,” he said, wiggling his fingers in the direction of the back door, “the more you’ll be able to see.”
“So, this…this is a zoo for cryptids,” I echoed slowly. He nodded once, waiting to find out what kind of reaction I would have. I gestured vaguely around the room. “If this is a hidden camera show, will you cut me a check for showing up and participating?”
Andrew coughed out a chuckle and shook his head. “No joke. There are a ton of stories out there that have been written to death, pulverized until they’re not the Grimm stories of old and instead they’re Disney films. A lot of those stories come from what some humans have seen. There are dozens of other worlds pressed up against ours, and occasionally things come through by accident. If they’re smart, they’ll lay low and then make their way back when they can. If not, they become local folklore until someone helps them back. I’m just from London, but Suzanne is from somewhere else. She hires people like us for this zoo. Humans.”
Sighing, I shook my head. “That makes no sense. Why would she hire a muggle for a magic zoo?”
Andrew burst out laughing at that, and then waited to gather himself before he continued. “Fair point, but this is less about magic and more about animals, and you’re missing some information that will explain it. First of all, if I misjudge an employee, and they think they can make bank by outing the endangered and valuable animals we have, it’s easy to relocate the zoo.”
“Because magic?” I asked.
“Exactly,” he replied, ignoring the thread of skepticism in my tone. “That means it isn’t the end of the world if that happened, though it is a pain in the arse. But second…let me ask you a question. Speaking of reality shows, say the Discovery Channel put out a call to replace Steve Irwin when he passed. Imagine they had a line out the door,” he said with a gesture, “of people who thought they had the skill and natural talent to replace him, to take on everything he’d been doing his whole life. How many do you reckon would lose an arm, a leg, or their life, by the end of the day?”
My lips parted in surprise and I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re saying people from…wherever…they’re just as dumb as humans, but they’re worse, because they actually think they can handle these things.”
Andrew pointed the pen at me. “Things. Exactly. You called them things. Suzanne and her friends grew up with them and would call them animals. These animals have dispositions and temperaments that we’ve studied for as long as there have been scientists. Where Suzanne’s from, they know the weaknesses of these animals, and also they’re in enclosures here, even if you and I can’t see the walls because they’re invisible things called ‘wards’. If I hire someone who’s got magic on top of all that, they’ll have almost no instinctive fear.
“Everything here is nocturnal, and every one of them is a hunter. Some of these things? Humans see them and they pass out. Not that I want you passing out, but I need someone who is scared of these things, who knows to stay out of the enclosures no matter what. Not someone who thinks they can train them to do tricks, who gets close enough for them to grab a mouthful of hair and drown them. Once, we had a night shift manager injured, and once killed, because they didn’t take these animals seriously enough.”
Thinking back to the Sea World orca incident I knew he’d been referencing, I remembered wondering how someone at that level of her profession could be so careless as I watched the video on YouTube. It made sense when he explained it like that. I hesitated before mentally throwing my hands up and going all in. “So, why put this place here, then? If they’re endangered and also dangerous, why have a zoo at all instead of just a small reserve?”
He pursed his lips, looking disappointed in me. “Ripley. You know that already. You already said as much.”
Thinking back through our conversation, I said, “The rich humans who pay top dollar to see supernatural animals.”
“Not humans,” he told me. “But people, yes, and they are rich, and they’re making donations and spending their money on a ticket here because everything we have is endangered.”
“So…”
I just let my voice trail off and my mind started to drift. Andrew remained silent, letting me do so. There’s that thing people say, ‘I believe that you believe it,’ which is just a kinder way of saying, ‘Bullshit.’ Parents say it about closet monsters. Psychologists say it to people who say they’ve been abducted and probed by aliens. I wanted to say it to Andrew.
But I also wanted a job. If it meant working overnight at an empty zoo, that was fine. When it came down to it, especially when I took the tone of our conversation into account, this was a zoo specifically focused on preserving endangered ‘animals’, and it was allegedly doing important work. Also, if this turned out to be the real deal and I started seeing the animals, I would deal with it, just like I would deal with an enclosure that had a lion or tiger or gorilla. If it came with a ghost and invisible creatures, I really didn’t see what the difference was, if I couldn’t go in the enclosures either way.
On that note, I’d like you to imagine a kid who looks at a roller coaster, watching everyone screaming and grinning as they go up and down and all around and they’re like, ‘Heck, I could do that! That looks like a blast!’
Then they get on, the first drop hits, and they realize they’ve made a terrible mistake.
“All right,” I sighed. “I can’t say I’m going to turn down a job just because it’s going to be scary. Especially not one with this paycheck.”
Andrew smiled. “Awesome. There’s an adjustment process for anyone working here, similar to a dog that gets adopted, actually. I know the general guidelines of, ‘three days, three weeks, three months’ in terms of milestones, until they finally feel they’re where they’re supposed to be,” he told me, “and you can think of your time here along those lines. I really think you’re a great fit, and once you reach the milestone of working here for three months, I’ll officially consider you our new night shift guard. And I hope you’ll stay with us for many years.”
I nodded and smiled at the flattery of an employer wanting me to work a great job for them for a long time. I’d never had a dog, but those milestones were well-known among anyone who knew animals, especially dogs. The first three days, the dog is getting to know its new digs, exploring, and decompressing. At three weeks, they’ve gotten used to their environment and are starting to get comfortable with their surroundings and the routines of the humans they live with. By three months, they know the rules and follow them, they trust you, and they feel they are where they’re meant to be. I could only hope to be so lucky.
I saw the ghost two days ago and she has yet to make another appearance (for those who are curious, I asked, and her name is Leila), and I still hadn’t seen any animals. I did hear one, though, I feel compelled to note. A growling roar sounded from the lake on occasion, echoing across the vast zoo, sending a shiver down my spine. Whatever that animal was, it sounded gigantic.
Andrew said there was apparently a group that wanted to visit for a birthday and they were offering a huge donation, so he let me know they were making an exception and that this group would be walking through the park that night. That meant I’d be watching people watching animals that, as far as I could tell, weren’t there.
It was anticlimactic. Even the three people who came for the tour just looked like people, not like aliens or something eldritch from another dimension, and I stayed in the security office the whole time. Andrew was the one giving the tour. I watched them spend about five minutes at each enclosure, the hour or so that they were there passing without incident. It was clear that they were able to see all the animals, though, since they motioned excitedly at each enclosure and spoke to Andrew, who presumably answered any questions they had.
If they could see the animals, that was that. There was still that niggle in the back of my head, from my twenty-three years of life never encountering anything like ghosts or cryptids, telling me that this was ridiculous. Waiting for someone to knock on the door, a camera mounted on their shoulder, to tell me that it was a big joke and they wanted to see how long I’d play along. But from all I saw, this was a real place with real, invisible animals.
I do carry a taser and pepper spray in my capacity as a security guard. Though it isn’t for the animals, since they’re in the enclosures; they’re actually for the rare instance of a break-in. Andrew mentioned that it had happened several times it the past, someone trying to steal an animal in the hopes of selling it on the black market. They’d been successful before, but apparently my predecessor Roger was good at his job, and mostly they left in handcuffs.
I’ll be honest, I’m not a huge fan of confrontation, but my job was to call Andrew and then confront the person, not kick their ass. That’s what the police were for, or rather, the people Andrew would call in lieu of police in certain situations.
Fifty bucks an hour. That’s the key here.
Andrew hadn’t set up direct deposit, since he was sticking with a strategy of waiting to see if I’d continue to work there once I found out myself dealing with the animals (I’ve decided I am going to just call them animals). Instead, I got an old-fashioned check after my shift every Friday. The number on the first check was delightful. I went out that evening and had a big dinner at the local diner, order my most expensive favorites on the menu and a big slice of pie for dessert.
When it came to the paychecks in general, though, I had this weird feeling of not wanting to tell my dad and brother about the fact that it was actually $50/hr. I previously mentioned that my dad, his name’s Nathan if you’re curious, works at a local grocery store. Our town has a couple food franchises, but I think its size is just short of whatever threshold Walmart uses to decide where to open. He earns $14/hr. and that’s after the tiny raises he’s gotten over the past thirteen years.
That’s not to say he’d feel bad about not making as much as me. On the contrary, he would be ecstatic for me and really proud. But, like me, he’d be suspicious. That hourly rate was the biggest hint that this was more than just a private zoo for cryptids. And as soon as that fat check cleared without problems, my dad wouldn’t be satisfied with reassurances; he’d want to come visit the zoo and look around.
I’d told him it’s a private preservation with scheduled (expensive) visits only and that it had only eleven animals, so he’d been appeased by me brushing off the idea of a visit. Also, I took a few photos of my workplace; one of the security room, one of me sitting in my chair, one photo of the many screens I watched, and a selfie where I was feigning sleep out of boredom, slouched in my chair with my mouth open in a faux snore. That let him feel like he knew where I was and what I was doing, and that I was safe.
But if I told him I was making double what he thought, my father would practically order me to quit. No job was worth my safety, he’d tell me. I was quite of the opposite opinion, however, considering how crucial any and all conservation efforts were these days. Especially with the steep extinction levels due to humans competing with other animals for space, not to mention climate change. Working in any job that helped preserve species and keep ecosystems in balance, or put them back in balance, was so important.
Then again, my father would also point out something I had realized right away: the fact was that I was working with endangered species that were not from Earth. I wasn’t helping my planet. To be honest, though…that didn’t matter to me. Especially after that talk with Andrew about why he hired a human for this job, I figured whichever dimension these animals came from had the equivalent of us, razing forests to the ground, clouding the planet with pollution, and leaving the animals with no avenue of recourse when yet more land was taken from them.
I really do hope to keep working here for a long time, though, and not just because of the money. I can’t help it; I want to know what these things were, and I want to work with them, to do the job of a zookeeper. The same way you go up to the chain-link fence to get close to a carnivore on the other side who thinks you’d make a nice afternoon snack. You just want to be closer to them, to experience that incredible, daunting feeling of being in their presence.
Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t long before I got what I wanted.
The day after we had the tour go through, I was doing my sweep when I saw the ghost again. She was sitting on a small boulder in the same area I’d seen her the first time, looking identical, blood covering the front of her slashed shirt, the wounds visible underneath. I stopped and stood there for a moment before I decided to raise my hand in a small wave.
The young woman cocked her head at me and raised a hand in the air in an imitation of my gesture, her expression showing a bit of curiosity.
She was low-key, seemingly not concerned with my presence, looking at me as a novel phenomenon in her world. I wondered what that world consisted of. Was she always here, sometimes visible and sometimes not? Or did she have another world next to ours, in the ether, where she left everything in this world behind and floated in her disembodied form? Did she still feel emotions? Was that really curiosity on her face, or was I projecting? Did she feel happiness? Fear? Did she have the option of moving on, or was she stuck here?
Many questions that I might never get the answers to. And that was assuming Andrew knew the answers, since I’d never met Suzanne Cooper and he hadn’t even mentioned that possibility. This place was clearly her baby, but I’m sure running it was a lot of work. Plus, if she was rich enough to own it, she was rich enough to have other businesses and charities to run.
When it comes to the enclosures, they’re all wrapped by a barrier of some kind, though never one that seems adequate. There was not a single place with the ugly metal weavings of a chain-link fence, and no stretches of circular razor wire. Instead, there are nice fences. Black iron, or wrought steel fencing in a similar style to the one circling the perimeter of the zoo, just shorter and with different patterns. Or a spaced picket fence, the wood stained in some tone of brown, or a split two-rail fence. As if to say, ‘This is the border of your enclosure, but we’re just letting you know out of courtesy.’
When I started to pass enclosure number seven last night, a young woman’s voice spoke, “Hello.”
I startled, unaware that I hadn’t been alone. “Oh. Hi,” I said, staring at her standing a few yards in.
She had been next to a large tree and I hadn’t seen her. This enclosure was behind a picket fence, and she walked through the large area of wild grasses and flowers that stretched across the other side of the fence. There were fewer tall grasses closer to the fence, which I guessed was because it had been tromped down by her regular pacing along it when there were visitors, or if she wanted to see the various enclosures of the zoo. Her sudden appearance was a bit weird, considering I had been expecting to see a cryptid and instead I was looking at, it seemed, an attractive Asian woman.
She wore a black kimono, the soft silk robe draped gently over her body, with beautiful patterns of cherry blossoms, more so over her left side, and red and blue birds with their wings spread. A sash wrapped around her abdomen, she wore socks and sandals on her feet, and her hair was up in those rolls that gave volume to the style.
I was no expert on any fashion, much less that of another country, so I just assumed it was all traditional Japanese clothing. Most likely, the visitors who came liked to see a certain time-honored style and that’s what she stuck with. Or maybe she played on stereotypes. That would be amusing.
“I’m Yui. It’s nice to meet you,” she spoke, arriving at the border of the fence and holding out a hand for me to shake.
I’d been standing about three yards away from her, and I’ll be honest, muscle memory tried to kick in. But I only made it two steps, my hand starting to rise, before I froze, the hand falling limply at my side. “Nice to meet you, too,” I answered, my voice quiet.
Damn. I wonder how many times that honey trap works back where she comes from.
The pleasant look on her face faded, and she lowered her hand. “You won’t shake hands with me? Isn’t that rude?”
“I mean, I kind of like my hand where it is. You know, attached to me.”
Her demure smile widened into something more amused. “I would never do something so revolting.”
Looking her up and down, as if more visual information would give me more knowledge of what she was, I asked her, “What would you do?”
“I would be less wasteful,” she said softly.
A finger of ice trailed down my spine, and I had the sudden image in my head of her grabbing my outstretched hand in an iron grip and yanking me over the fence, leaving me to sprawl on the ground. Then killing and consuming me efficiently, without a single careless step, the same way humans slaughtered pigs, using everything from the hog but the squeal. I was struck with a shiver at the idea of her consuming everything from me but my screams.
Slowly, I took one step further down the path, then another. Just as I got to a walking pace, though, I realized the woman had started walking too, in the same direction. I’d have eventually gotten to the end of her enclosure and keep going, leaving her behind, but she spoke up. “Are you leaving?”
I came to a stop, meeting her gaze again. “My job is to walk the zoo every hour. Then I’ll get back to the security room and stay there until my next walk.”
“Have you met the others yet?”
I hesitated before saying, “Just Leila.”
She blinked languidly. “That means nobody welcomed you here.”
“Andrew did.”
She didn’t reply to that. Instead, she slowly started to lean forward, and I flinched backward a few steps further as I saw insect legs start curling out from her back.
No. Not insect. Arachnid.
The eight legs ended in small ‘paws’ with tiny claws, a layer of hairs covering the leg from top to bottom, like any typical tarantula. I took two more slow steps back and my mouth went dry as the jointed legs just kept lengthening, until they were large enough to lever her off the ground.
My gaze had been on the spider legs, but my heart skipped a beat as I realized her human legs had melded together and turned into a bulging abdomen. Her skin was shifting to a carapace, eventually all the way up to her shoulders and down her arms, her fingers elongating and her nails stretching to claws. From there down, her body was that of a pale tarantula with pedipalps the size of my arms and piercing fangs in her jaws that looked like they could take my head off.
There was a moment, my vision blurring, where I was worried that I might piss myself. The part of my brain that still had its humor intact in that moment told me that I should keep an emergency set of clothes in my car, or at the very least, start wearing Depends to work.
“I show you my true form,” she said softly, her voice now raspy like an eighty-year-old after a lifelong smoking habit. “Welcome to Suzanne Cooper’s zoo. The night shift guard for many years was Roger, before he retired and the zoo moved, and I miss him dearly. What should I call you?”
I choked on my words. There was no way my throat was going to cooperate enough for me to clearly get a sentence out. Instead, I realized my legs had taken control of the situation themselves, unsatisfied with my conscious brain’s decision to stand and stare, taking steps backward. I backed up a yard, then five yards, then ten.
My mind focused on the fact that spiders don’t waste anything, and pictured my demise. I’d be wrapped in a cocoon, killed, and made nice and mushy before she had me for dinner.
The whole time, my brain was a frenzied mess, my pupils were probably the size of dimes, and I was staring at that tiny, pathetic fence between her and me. There was so much adrenaline pumping through my body that I felt like my bones were vibrating. The fence was, to my eyes, the only thing between us. The only thing keeping her from tackling and killing me. My only hope was that she’d do it quickly.
But she didn’t move. As I absorbed her innocent, polite words, the look on her face was calm, and I wondered if this was typically the way a conversation went before she devoured her prey. I wondered how many people she’d eaten. Not humans, not people from Earth, but the ones from where she came from. The fact that she doesn’t scare the shit out of those people means they’re staggeringly dumber than humans.
Finally, I rounded a corner, both relieved at having her out of my sight and worried that she would take that moment to come find me. When she’d been within eyeshot, I had at least known where she was and could run in the other direction. But I didn’t hear the sound of faint footsteps moving rapidly toward me. All was quiet, in that deep, smothering way that only an empty business in the middle of the night in small town America could be.
My hands trembling, I barely paid attention to anything but the confirmation that my surroundings were free of the colossal spider as I finally got back to the door. Grabbing the handle and letting my eyes dart around for about ten seconds and my ears prick for the slightest sound, I finally swiped my key card across the pad and went inside, shutting the door behind me and engaging the backup deadbolt.
Maybe that was why they had decided on keycards. If I was running from something and panicking, using an actual key or inserting the card like at a hotel would keep me from getting to safety considering my hands were shaking enough to mix a margarita.
Walking over to my chair, I fell into it, letting my body flush itself of terror as I looked up at the cameras. There she was, still in arachnid form, exactly where I’d left her behind that rinky-dink fence, casually looking around and slowly pacing back and forth. I stared at her as my racing heart gradually slowed, and a minute or so later she turned on her eight legs and walked back into the trees.
Whatever invisible fences the enclosures have apparently work, which is nice, because I wasn’t keen on getting killed by one of the creatures here. And that’s what brings me here, spilling out everything that’s happened so far. Because nearly passing out from terror isn’t something I wanted to deal with at work, obviously, but I keep going over what she did in my head again and again, and I feel like I reacted like a child who spotted a wolf spider on their bed. I started to worry for my overactive sense of self-preservation, at least in my capacity as an employee here.
The spider didn’t even try to hurt me, and so I was feeling a bit foolish. Even annoyed, actually, at the fact that I’d freaked out so hard and took off instead of trying to engage in at least basic conversation. I got the sense that she wasn’t at human-level intelligence, but I was never going to be able to hold any level of conversation with an alligator.
Sure, she did mention that she wouldn’t be so crass as to yank off my hand because she’d rather just have my entire corpse, but wouldn’t a wolf do the same if it was hungry? Wouldn’t any carnivore? Actually, they probably would’ve been satisfied with one of my hands. The fear here was from the fact that she turned into a giant spider. If she’d turned into Clifford, I would’ve reacted the same way, if not better than, meeting Leila.
With that, I decided I’m staying on the job. Considering how frustrated I can get with foolish people, it’s a bit hypocritical, and I’m being a bit of an idiot. But…there are definitely wards keeping them in their enclosures. Also, I signed up for creatures for another dimension, whether or not I believed in them at the time, and I will not let encountering my first one in an objectively boring way be the reason I quit.
The money is a factor, I’ll grant you. Of course it is. And I can’t spend it if I’m dead, but all signs point to surviving as long as I don’t do anything dumb. Also, yes, I’ll admit there’s a not-so-little voice in the back of my head that’s desperate to know what else is here. I never thought I’d do something like this, but finding out these things are real, I honestly do want to learn more about them.
Still, though, I decided to call Andrew at the end of my shift to ask if the pepper spray and taser I carried worked on a certain spider, as well as the other animals I’d yet to meet.
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Previous
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/storiesbykaren

Blachowicz here.
Kept yah’ waiting, huh? Heh, sorry about that one, but I can explain. As we all know… we lost a few good men the last few months.
That’s the brutal part of a hybrid war like ours: We’re fighting a foe unconventional, with half our arsenal tied down because those who grant us authorization are either in disbelief of the true facts, or scared… or already assimilated. That being said our momentum recently was a change not seen in years, and because of that… despite the losses we have garnered, we were close through a breakthrough. One last night Krol pulls myself and other two must trusted squad leads into the back of our COP. There is one of our equipment cages, surrounded by m-bitter radios, tripods, and several hundred thousand dollars of equipment he brought us around a simple worn table. Before us he laid a map of eastern poland… red markings indicating cells that seemed to dot the countryside like a pestilence, or used to… as deep gashes of advance from raids had trisected their lines, even if ones did pop up in the interior.
It was a back and forth; an outside virus infecting Polska at it’s heart, and we were the antibodies sent to drive them out. To which… Major Krol points to one of the largest symbol on the map: a dark red diamond, the NATO symbol for an enemy unit, deep inside of an untouched wooded area, adjacent to a mountain ridge. Several jagged lines indicated entrenchment, with red horizontal lines indicating possible enemy control… or our contested control, for over 20kms surrounding it. Letting us all look, the Major lit himself a cigarette.
“Sir, you sure it’s wise to smoke in here with the dive tanks just behind us” 1st Squad’s lead quipped. “Fuck off” Krol dryly said.
“Alright… this is it… this is the one we’ve been searching for for years, this is the nucleus my predecessor commander died trying to find” he says, pointing to it. Not far from Zamosc, it was almost touching the border with Belarus, the contested area indicating the Strigoi did operate over it… indicating one of the largest spill through points. “-It’s an old soviet bunker, made during their 1960s initiative it was designed to hold the munitions and manpower of several units in the event of a NATO first strike” Krol explained. “It’s gotta be massive then…” I said gazing at the map; “Didn’t the army demolish all of the old soviet hulks near Belarus to prevent any infiltrations?” 3rd Squad’s lead asked. “National Police took the effort over… and by extension, the Strigoi. It was halfway demo’ed before they burrowed into it and have been using it as a bridgehead ever since. This is it…” Krol said. He looked around at all of us, a sense of certainty I had never seen before as he blew smoke from his nostrils; “We’ve been fucking around in the dark for so long, it’s hard to believe we’ve made any progress, but this is it. With this gone, this will set them back over a decade and the momentum will finally shift into our favor… into Poland’s… -Europe’s”.
I swear there was almost a flash of joy, of pride in his eyes and a phantom of a smirk before reality set back in “That being said… we can’t leave this to chance, especially not something as important as this. We’re going to have to go there ourselves… clear through every inch of that place, and tear it all down, piece by piece. I will be straight with you all… when we go, there will be some of us that aren’t coming back. -but we are going… a whole generation is counting on us, and unborn billions rely on us to succeed”. We all nodded, a silent agreement washing over us as we took this upon ourselves. Echo-1 spoke up: “So… They’re authorizing a raid? How big?”. “We’re rolling in as a hard target, armor, explosives, and air support” Krol answered, taking a drag off his cigarette. “Aviation? How the hell did we get that approved, we’ve gotten attempts shot down four times due to those leeches” I said in disbelief. “There’s too much evidence here pointing to the human trafficking tied to their actions… We’ve finally got too much weight pinning them down, to keep the hammer from slamming into their necks” Krol chuckled. He looked around “Any questions?”. “When?” Echo-3 asked. “Three hours. We’re hitting them in the dead of night, only time we could get the birds authorized. Get your boys ready. We’re rolling out” Krol said, dying the cigarette bud out on the table. I can’t begin to tell you the euphoria we felt leaving that cage, as our men started arriving, they did so a lot quicker, and with their heads a lot higher than they had in weeks. As Second Squad’s lead we were going to be one of the main arms of attack into the bunker, thus I made sure we had a breacher loaded with enough thermite, charges, and tools to cut through anything. Our shield bearer we ready to go, as was our assaulters, grenadiers, and machine gunner. I double checked each and everyone of their weapons; ensuring the feeder paws of our squad’s belt fed were intact, making sure every breach charge we had was properly set and packed. There was going to be no mistakes, no slip ups. The margin of error needed to be the smallest it had ever been for us tonight if we were going to make the gore spilt worth it.
Finally… there on the outside of the building, the bright LED lights kept the darkness of the ensuing night at bay as the roar of our MRAPs could be heard. It was said once that war is 99% peace, and 1% chaos, they were right. The slow periods where the blood slowed and the doubt creeped in was the worst… yet we all kept it at bay. We needed to, there was going to be no backing down tonight. All three squads were up, all of us ready to go… we circled up… short stares and shaky nods telling us one things: We were in this together, till the end… the finish line so many before us had been searching for, we were being granted tonight.
A single set of footsteps could be heard as we turned, Major Krol stepping into the center. He took the last drag of a cigarette, throwing it down to the ground and stamping it out onto the damp concrete. He looked around… his chin strap blowing in the weak air as he met everyone of our gazes… then mine… then looked around. “I want you to remember every detail of tonight, as you have every other night… when you are situationally aware, scanning for the enemy, liberating the subjugated, I want you to remember the sting of anxiety, the shake of adrenaline, the chill of the bunker, the heat of your weapon as it cuts them down… because tonight we are going to write every fine detail of our victory, their defeat, in history…” Krol’s words echoed deep into our souls. He paused for a moment, staring around he looked down… a small pause before he said “When you are ruthless in combat, remember to be patient, and reserved in victory. This conflict is for our existence… a lot of innocents have bled due to the mistakes of those who failed to listen, a lot of our brothers are now laid under because we had to bridge the gap of uncertainty with their lives. We remember them now… but in an hour? We forget them… when we raise our barrels, when we cut into those foes, and we liberate Polska!! This does not end tonight, but history puts everything in it’s place, and patience is the companion of the victor… All of our hard work will be cemented, no matter the obstacles we face in that darkness… no matter the demons, the blood, no matter what incomprehensible horrors, we will make them comprehend that to invade our land, to bleed our people, the justice will be paid in full… Load up. It’s time*”*.
The purpose in our steps was heavy as we climbed the back ramps of the MRAPS; Four of the heavily armored vehicles, one for each squad with an additional for attached personnel including our JTAC, the term means Joint Terminal Attack Controllers. With air support requisitioned to us for this operations, there needs to be a definite liaison on the ground who can directly communicate to the birds, and coordinate their fire and progress. I’d worked with many of them in the past, resourceful guys, quick thinking though I guess that comes with the position they hold of needing to quickly figure out what bombs to drop, on which target, at what precise points, whilst taking contact. He loaded in the lead vehicle with Major Krol… and soon, our convoy kicked off.
The drive was several hours as myself and my squad sat in the back of that forty ton goliath, the rumbling of the engine keeping us awake as the crap heater fought to keep the cold from the outside frost from setting in. I looked around to each of them, some were catching some sleep because even with the circumstances… better to get all the energy you can, than to stay awake for nothing. Others were checking their weapons… My gunner locked eyes with me, the same one from the village extraction… many of these men I had trained with for a while now, fought with for months.
We may have met on unconventional circumstances but those in JW Grom thrive on austere chance and create opportunity from scratch. I was pulled from my thought by the sound of a transmission, my peltors were set up for dual comms so I could both receive information from the Major and other leads, whilst communicating with my team.
Krol himself sent out: [“Approximately 10 minutes from enemy AO…”]. As the rest of the squads acknowledged, I quickly sent out [“Echo-2 Copies”], before kicking the boots of any of them sleeping: “Look alive, we’re here”. Through the exterior net armor of the MRAPS, and the bars protecting the small reinforced windows, we could barely see jack shit. I reached up, turning off the overhead light as we all looked through our nods to scan the outside. A dark wall of dense trees was shown before us, making it difficult to see… in addition to night vision capabilities we had also requisitioned ourselves some thermals… when mounted onto rifles they were bulky, made it a pain to aim down quickly, but considering the supernatural capabilities of spotting our foes we needed every advantage necessary.
I flipped out one of my tubes… scanning the outside with my scope. I looked over to one of my assaulters who had been assigned to man the turret of the MRAP, seated near the view screen as he controlled the 50. Cal. Each of the vehicle turrets had been assigned a direction to cover… we took the 9 o’clock, the left flank. “See anything?” I asked. He shook his head; “Negative… wait… I’ve got two cold signatures, front left heading to our rear”.
I quickly scanned the far tree line, at approximately 60 meters off our left were two cold signatures… followed by a third heading to our front… then another. They were surrounding us, moving at speeds so fast I could barely keep my reticle on them. Is this what the National Police saw? What they faced at that lodge without the benefit of a foot of heavy armor protecting them on all sides. Then… suddenly. Something slammed into the side of our MRAP so hard, it caused it to shake. From over the leader comms, Echo-3 quickly shouted [“Contact right!! 4 hostiles!!”].
One of the Strigoi… so bold, had charged and slammed into the side of our MRAP. I quickly looked to see the figure, a dark blue mass of cold energy through my thermal, back away without so much as a stagger… as they tried to flee into the woods, the white hot justice of Echo-3’s gun fired at them, cutting them down. “Blachowicz I’ve got a few breaking for our vic” my man on the turret called out, I spun around, spotting out the window.
Just then, Major Krol announced [“weapons free, watch and shoot for targets of opportunity…”]. I turned to him… “take those fuckers out-”. Without hesitation my vic’s turret began to quickly target them, and through the darkness I saw a stream of outgoing fire bisect one of them, the ISR of the black blood freaking out the optic so badly it didn’t know what temperature to register it as… but it did register it. As another was cut down, one broke through the tree line and latched onto the side of our MRAP. The thing tore at one of the outer net armor panels, usually made to stop RPGs. It grabbed at the bars near the windows, tearing one off… I lowered my rifle as we locked eyes through the reinforced window.
The thing… the Strigoi looked at me, skin cracked as putrefied muscle fibers seemed to leak through dead flesh. It’s teeth were corroded and worn down to sharp fragments, alongside newly mutated fangs that messily protrude from the jaws. Even through the thick walls of the MRAP I could hear it’s roar, as it then tried to punch it’s way through… it cracked the outer coating of the vehicle… but it wasn’t getting anywhere near. My machine gunner, seated next to me, seemed to chuckle at the sight, quippily saying “Yeah… fuck you too”. It’s then our vehicle lurched upwards, as we began to climb the small incline of the bunker. I knew the layout, mapped it in our head, the main entrance was built into the rocky side of an old cliff meaning we could easily set up a defensive perimeter around it, a horseshoe. Krol’s vehicle was first, taking to the right as Echo-3’s MRAP followed. My vehicle, third, left the incline and took a left and… that’s where things got complicated.
We’re still trying to work out what happened but… from what Joakim says his drone captured. Right when the MRAP turned, several of the monsters quickly slammed into the side of the vehicle, as another more bulkier one, pushed at it’s undercarriage. The result.. Was the 40 ton armored vehicle tipped over. It wasn’t uncommon, hell in some cases a well placed IED, a good shot with a recoilless rifle, have been known to tip over Oshkoshs and Maxpros all the time. But this beast? Needless to say we barely had a second to comprehend it as it leaned to the left; “Grab on to something-” is all I had time to shout. A mess of gear and men spilled onto one side of the vehicle as it slammed into the old gravel and dirt.
Several of my assaulters, my grenadier planted right ontop of myself and the others as we came to a stop. Someone’s knee slammed directly into the side of my skull, causing me to dazily bob in and out of consciousness as my face was smushed against the glass of one of the windows.
Through my peltors, the other squads were erratic;
[“Echo-2’s vehicle is down!!”].
[“Echo-3 to Echo-2… Echo-3 to Echo-2…”].
Krol’s voice came through the comms;
[“Echo-Lead to Echo-2… Fuc-... Echo-1 secure Echo 2’s flank, Echo-3”].
[“Echo-3 to other units, they’re spilling through, I’ve got several enemy combatants converging on Echo-2’s vehicle”].
I pushed the legs of my grenadier off my head as I fought to my hands and knees, unfucking my nods as I looked around… “Fuck it… we’re going lights on, shield your eyes” I muttered as I reached for the overhead lights and flipped them on. The bright LEDs bathed the inside of the vehicle as we all gained our bearings, a mess of multicam, gear, and weapons as we quickly pushed each other off. My gunner caught as he fought to realign his promask, from what I gathered one of the assaulters had landed directly into his gun, pushing it directly into his jugular, as pulled back at the rubber and coughed, freeing up his esophagus. We didn’t have time to think however… the sound of bending metal caught our attention… as the back ramp door of the MRAP was ripped clean off. I could barely believe it but as the white light of the MRAP’s interior poured to the outside, a hulking mass leaned in, the dead flesh on it’s face nearly fallen off as the hideous Strigoi leaned inside.
Without hesitation I aimed took aim, yelling “Keep to the deck!!” to any of those inbetween myself and the invader as I opened fire. A burst of full auto fire tore through it’s collar and neck, my men quickly clung to either sides of the fallen MRAP as a few more fired out. As the thing backed up, a blast of .50 cal fire quickly tore it to shreds, along with several others as I realized they were fuckin swarming over the outside of our vehicle. Echo-3’s vehicle continued to carefully fire on the Strigoi on the outside, the sounds of .50 cal ricocheting off the outside of our armor was enough to make the pucker factor set in.
[“Echo-3 to Echo-2”].
[“This is Echo-2, we’re green on ammo, equipment, men”].
[“Roger, we’re shifting fire, exit the vehicle”].
“Hurry up let’s go!!” I barked to my men, leading the way as I staggered out. I turned on my peq, taking aim at silhouettes in the brush as I began to fire. The sounds of machine guns lighting up the brush, as a sea of growls, howls, and incomprehensible roars fired back at us was the ambient noise of the night. My men quickly exited, my gunner being the last as he and I pulled back to the rest of the defensive perimeter. I set in my men to take up the frontal security, as 3rd squad took the right flank, 1st squad to the left. Major Krol and the JTAC were bickering with each other; “How far out are the birds”. “They’re entering airspace now…” Joakim said, already scanning his smart book.
I asked “What’ve we got?”. He then flipped through… to the NATO combined arms segment, quippily saying; “Apaches…”. This caused me to pause as Echo-3 turned their head whilst directing their squad’s fire “The hell… where did we get apaches from?”. “The Americans… they volunteered” Krol said dismissively as he took aim at the darkness, firing off a controlled trio. “Volunteered? They’re aware of what’s going on?” I asked.
Krol seemed to stop, glancing back at me before returning his focus “There’s a lot more going on than you realize, Blachowicz… Prep the breach, you and 1st are going on”.
I quickly pulled my breacher off the line, securing some thermite as the reinforced bunker door wasn’t going to go as easily as a conventional door breach would. 1st Squad pulled back, stacking up and preparing themselves to be the first in. All the while… Joakim gave his firing solution; “Alpha Hotel Two Five Nine, This is Bravo-4…… Type 2….”.
I snapped to my right, watching as a Strigoi managed to dark across the clear gravel field, only to be cut down by my gunner, the peq’s laser marking the burst as it tore through the beasts’ hips, as it hit the ground and still continued to claw, another GROM operator took aim and fired into it’s skull. Joakim popped up to his feet…. “Marking laser, high power…”. He then pulled out a target marking laser… if you’ve watched night operations, you’ve probably seen them.
The green laser than as it says on the label, marks targets. The pattern of which can vary… if it’s a point target, it’ll usually lasso an area, or remain on target until the target is removed with extreme prejudice. If its close air support, then it’ll be a line of the general area… and Joakim damn near marked the entire perimeter around us. He quickly pocketed the tool, turning back to Krol; “Don’t go past 20 meters unless you want to be liquidated”.
With that… 2nd and 1st stacked up at the door as 3rd squad took up the perimeter security. As Major Krol went over to Echo-1… I saw them. A single blinking IR strobe from the beasts as they moved on the far off horizon, converging from several angles… and fired. The sound of the Apache’s main gun, the M230, truly sounds like the hammer of god… the 30mm cannon shot through the dark sky, lighting it up as we saw three incoming streams tear up the woods. Only then as the sound broke did we start to hear their rotors as they broke and began to circle, firing again… then… Joakim dipped his head and looked to Krol; [“Foxtrot Mike, hang onto your teeth…”]. One of the Apaches fired off a AGM-114… a Hellfire. I barely saw it out of the corner of my eye as the Apache from our right flank fired off at a target approximately 200 meters off. A fireball lit up the forest as the horrendous roar echoed throughout… then went silent.
Echo-3 scanned the horizon carefully;
[“Echo-3 to Echo-Lead, enemy contact is starting to die down”].
[“Maintain perimeter, Close Air is to maintain fire mission until we are boots up, Break…”].
[“Echo-Lead to Echo-1, condition white has been met. Proceeds”]. I saw Echo-1 and his men quickly stack up close to the wall and gesture to me; Breaching. I quickly pulled my stack back against the wall as his and mine breacher quickly hit their actuators. Now under normal circumstances, it doesn’t take much for thermite to melt the locks off of a metal surface, in fact it’s a more precise took as alternative means get real medieval like saws, pry bars… we weren’t in the mood for precision, we need to breach their little lair, and drag them out. The sound of several pounds of hellfire burning through the metal could be heard around the corner as a sea of white and red sparks flew out… after several seconds, two of our men tossed a fragmentation grenade and a nine-bang through the opening… a series of concussive blasts and a large explosion rang out.
Echo-1 and his men maneuvered. 1st Squad quickly converged as we followed them in.
Stepping through the black wall of smoke, the dark abyss of the interior was illuminated in a white light as entered barrels raised. Shots rang out as several of the beasts near the entrance were cut down, though not immediately, rounds disconnected the shoulder of one of them, leading to their arm hanging limply by a single tendon as they roared… another series of rounds putting them down. What greeted us was a messy concrete hell of rust and debris, fecal matter, trash, and all kinds of obstacles laid in our way, our boots sticking to the floor. I thank every god we had promasks that night. I called my shield bearer up, 2nd squad leapfrogging ahead to take the next corridor as 1st squad checked their weapons.
One of my men mule kicked the metal door ahead, twice, finally the latch gave away as we tossed in a grenade. A horrifying roar was cut off as an M67 shook the walls of the ancient soviet mausoleum, frag and spall kicked off the walls as I moved in right behind my shield man. The cramped russian design meant there was barely enough space for three people, and that’s three normal people, not in 50kgs of kit, moving slowly and maneuvering against creatures of the dark. Still… we moved forward, my shield bearer and I pushing the pace as two stacked of either squad formed on either wall.
As we passed doorways they flowed in… “Door Left!!”, “Door Right!!”. “Move!!”.
Two men entered each side, no gunshots, we moved up, a roar came.
“Door left!!-”. A series of gunshots came out as we continued to push forward.
“Two down!!”. “Confirm them” Krol commanded, as a series of gunshots run out in response. From one of the doorways, a Strigoi emerged… a female… clumps of hair had been ripped from her decaying skull, as her blooded eyes locked on myself and my shieldman. The skin on her hands had been tore down to the point where barely her bones and tendons remain… looking like huge talons as she roared and lunged at us. He fired off his pistol, though the rounds did little to stop her as she pushed against our stack.
“Fuck!!” he muttered, somehow her strength caused him to stagnate, holding up the advance… fuck that. I shoved the muzzle of my MK18 into her ribcage, flipping the weapon to auto as I fired of round after round. The 5.56 salvo disconnecting her spinal column, causing her to fall as I continued to fire, along with a man to our right and left as the stacks reformed as we pushed to the end of the hall. I fell back, dropping the magazine and loading a fresh one, like clockwork a GROM Operator from 1st squad took my place. Krol was beside me as we approached the end of the hall.
[“-Prep an entry”] I radioed to my breacher, a comrade handed him one of the charges from his back panel as he took to the door, quickly securing it. We all moved as far back as we could, look away, exhale. The blast knocked metal and wood in all directions, scrapping against our uniforms and kit as we made our way in and what laid before us was… it used to be the center atrium of one of these bunkers. Soviet’s loved their grandiose designs, the complex was supposed to be a circular room around a central planning table… instead. It had been turned into some sort of church. Runes and old eastern Romuva pagan symbols written in black ink and blood across the walls, old rotten filing cabinets, long receipt terminals. In the center… several of the Strigoi were kneeling before the table where someone had been tied down, flayed, and… shared amongst the group. They rose to their feet, we aimed our barrels…
The ladder amongst turned to us… his skin wasn’t cracked, or flayed, it was smooth… it still looked dead as the body on the table but it seemed more… accustomed to it. I don’t know… evolved? Under the surface however I could see it’s darkened veins pumping whatever cursed blood ran through them as it locked two blood red eyes onto each of us. It’s nose had long since been turn off, exposing boney nostrils to the open air as it seemed to smirk. All across it’s body were the same symbols on the walls, in every cell… markings of death, of rebirth, of assimilation… From behind this seemingly Alpha emerges another figure I had never seemed before… dressed in a white cloak with a deer head.
"So they've followed the trail... they're too late" the Deer headed individual spoke, definitely not from here, a dialect similar to an Americans but... aristocratic? Each word was drawn out, assurance as if they had everything mapped down to our actions. They didn’t sound like they were from Poland or the east.
“Doesn’t matter…” the Alpha growled… and then, it lunged at us. Quickly breaking from their ground it slammed into my shield man knocking both him and myself at the ground as it displayed an intense feat of strength. Around us I could see several of the Strigoi leap at our comrades… though to no fruitful endeavor as I could see one GROM operator cut two down, as another got into a hand to hand confrontation… my breacher, crafty as they were, reached back and slammed one of the prybars of his kit into the skull of the beast.
The Alpha however was not content as it threw away the 90lb shield, sending it flying across the room as it grabbed my comrade by the skull. I quickly kicked up at it, firing my MK18 into it’s body as the rounds pierced it’s gray and rune covered flesh. The thing simply seemed to chuckle… that was until Major Krol blasted away at the side of it’s head, the alpha turned… and it’s smirk turned to a scowl when face to face with the major. A knowing pause almost like they had done this dance before…
The creature lunged, locking up with Major Krol as it swung and slammed railing. Krol didn’t back down however as he pushed against the creature, hiptossing it to the ground even as it tore at his armor and gear. But the beast pulled, both of them rolled and the Major was on his back as the thing reached for his neck. I fought to a kneel, firing into the creature messily with my MK18, trying not to hit my commander… then…
Click. A sound sends a chill up the spine of every warfighter during a firefight.
My gun ran dry. I dropped the magazine, looking to load another, but the thing came up and with one of it’s claws, sliced deep into my cheek, through the pro mask. I could feel my own blood go flying through the air as I landed hard on my back plate, spitting out red iron as I quickly tried to adjust my mask. Through my fogged up, blood covered lense… I saw my shield man raise his pistol, firing into the skull of the thing staggering it with a roar. Krol came from behind, drawing his knife he sunk it deep into the neck of it…. I reached for my rifle, forcing a new magazine in and damn near punching the bold release. ““Sir, down!!” I shouted, Krol rolled away, back to his own rifle as I fired. So did my comrade as he continued to fire his pistol… so did the Major as he fired his rifle. All of us chewing through that apex predator of darkness, that beast… the leader that had been preying on our people for so long. Layer by layer, muscle group by bone… eventually… the alpha landed on whatever was left of his back.
The silence of the fight died down as all of us checked our surroundings, GROM Operators putting controlled pairs in the heads and nerve stems of any Strigoi laying around… I flicked my weapon onto safe, letting it hang as I pulled off my mask. I dared not touch the wound on my face… the pain nearly crippling me if it wasn’t sheer will pushing me through, and adrenaline doing all it could to subdue it. The sound of the apaches continuing to lay hate drew us from our moment of contemplation as the Major went back to work; [“Confiscate any info, burn the rest…”]. He turned back to me as I shoved my damaged M50 mask back into it’s bag, chuckling as he looked at the sight; “You need a medevac, Blachowicz?” he quipped.
I shook my head, barely able to speak as I muttered; “Negative sir…”. The two of us scanned the room as my shield bearer went to collect his defense implement turned 90lb projectile, we scanned the center of the room, checking and confirming bodies, until we got to the last one alive. His white gown was soaked in red crimson and black ooze, as his dear head was mangled from bullet fire and impact from falling on it. I swear… the way his blood poured out of it though made me wonder if it was a mask. I gave it no second thoughts as he looked to Krol; “You… you can’t stop this, they’ve already-”.
The Major was in no mood for communication as his rifle snapped up and fired off three rounds to the body, four the head. The violent yet quick salvo ending the cultists life, I looked down at it, then to him as he remarked; “Have your squad drag him out to the front, burn the rest”. I stood alongside him, looking down as the sight of it’s deer head was both captivating and horrifying… the curiosity in me wanting to look closer at it fighting the primal instinct I had to burn the thing to ash. “-Haven’t seen one of those before…” I muttered, thinking the Major had an answer.
He didn’t. Krol saying “Neither have I…” shortly before he walked away, was what truly shook my soul about that entire night. Victory stood firm in our hearts that night as we stood outside of the bunker. The night sky burning with fire and white phosphorus as we watched the ruin burn from the inside from the other side of the lot. In the distance, the Apaches continued to scan and circle the forests, no longer firing…. Which meant they had driven any or turned to glass any enemy combatants within a four miles, probably both, more than likely the latter. Echo-1 patted me on the shoulder as we stood there, soaking it all in, though Krol looked none to pleased. “In the time it took us to take this one down, they’ll be trying to set up three more cells… that being established…” he said, looking to either of us, then to Echo-3. “-Hell of a thing we did tonight, been waiting for this one for a decade, cleanly, maybe more… but no time to rest on our laurels… we’ll have another task for us as soon as we’re boots down back home” he said, to which his eyes followed mine, the body of whatever cultist that was zipped up in a black body bag beside the wheel of one of the MRAPs. The fire from the bunker casting an orange hue over it’s shiny jet black outside, something didn’t sit right with me… “That wasn’t a Strigoi…” I said to Krol.
“That’s very clear…” the Major said, shoving his mask under his arm and lighting a cigarette. “So… someone’s helping them?” I asked. The meer notion of it shook me to my core, sickened me. This parasite was already badly infecting Europa, Polska… if it was spread like this throughout the world. Krol settled my nerves: “We’ll be ready… It’s not just us anymore”. As he said that, I realized what he meant… my eyes looking to the Apaches as they started to form up, leaving the areas as their thunderous propellers melted into the night’s calm, unnerving ambience.
It’s been a couple of weeks since then, Echo Detachment has been busy. We’ve gained good ground against the enemy and honestly I think in a few years, we might see a much larger change. For now… we must keep going, that being said the Strigoi aren’t the only ones we’ve been combating. Recently we’ve made contact with of some sort of extermination coalition, they’ve known about the Strigoi, and others plaguing the world, the level of corruption and corrosion on society goes deep. Regardless a lot of the units we’ve been working with are apart of NATO, such as this “4th Special Forces Group” of the American Military. I don’t know where the road from here leads, but we’ve gotten momentum on our side, finally. Just remember… these things are out there, in every town, every city, every nation… preying and waiting for you to be alone, vulnerable, so they can take you and replace you.
Watch your back, and stay safe.
For now, Blachowicz signing out. Until next time

About the Gateway tapes: In the ’80s, the spy agency investigated the "Gateway Experience" technique to alter consciousness and ultimately escape spacetime.
The intrigue revolves around a classified 1983 CIA report on a technique called the Gateway Experience, which is a training system designed to focus brainwave output to alter consciousness and ultimately escape the restrictions of time and space.
The CIA was interested in all sorts of psychic research at the time, including the theory of applications of remote viewing, which is when someone views real events with only the power of their mind. The documents have since been declassified and are available to view.
This is a comprehensive excavation of The Gateway Process report. The first section provides a timeline of the key historical developments that led to the CIA’s investigation and subsequent experimentations. The second section is a review of The Gateway Process report. It opens with a wall of theoretical context, on the other side of which lies enough understanding to begin to grasp the principles underlying the Gateway Experience training. The last section outlines the Gateway technique itself and the steps that go into achieving spacetime transcendence.
Let’s go.
THE TIMELINE
• 1950s - Robert Monroe, a radio broadcasting executive, begins producing evidence that specific sound patterns have identifiable effects on human capabilities. These include alertness, sleepiness, and expanded states of consciousness.
• 1956 - Monroe forms an R&D division inside his radio program production corporation RAM Enterprises. The goal is to study sound’s effect on human consciousness. He was obsessed with “Sleep-Learning," or hypnopedia, which exposes sleepers to sound recordings to boost memory of previously learned information.
• 1958 - While experimenting with Sleep-Learning, Monroe discovers an unusual phenomenon. He describes it as sensations of paralysis and vibration accompanied by bright light. It allegedly happens nine times over the proceeding six weeks, and culminates in an out-of-body experience (OBE).
• 1962 - RAM Enterprises moves to Virginia, and renames itself Monroe Industries. It becomes active in radio station ownership, cable television, and later in the production and sale of audio cassettes. These cassettes contain applied learnings from the corporate research program, which is renamed The Monroe Institute.
• 1971 - Monroe publishes Journeys Out of the Body, a book that is credited with popularizing the term “out-of-body experience.”
• 1972 - A classified report circulates in the U.S. military and intelligence communities. It claims that the Soviet Union is pouring money into research involving ESP and psychokinesis for espionage purposes.
• 1975 - Monroe registers the first of several patents concerning audio techniques designed to stimulate brain functions until the left and right hemispheres become synchronized. Monroe dubs the state "Hemi-Sync" (hemispheric synchronization), and claims it could be used to promote mental well-being or to trigger an altered state of consciousness.
• 1978 to 1984 - Army veteran Joseph McMoneagle contributes to 450 remote viewing missions under Project Stargate. He is known as “Remote View No. 1”.
• June 9th, 1983 - The CIA report "Analysis and Assessment of The Gateway Process" is produced. It provides a scientific framework for understanding and expanding human consciousness, out-of-body experiments, and other altered states of mind.
• 1989 - Remote viewer Angela Dellafiora Ford helps track down a former customs agent who has gone on the run. She pinpoints his location as “Lowell, Wyoming”. U.S. Customs apprehend him 100 miles west of a Wyoming town called Lovell.
• 2003 - The CIA approves declassification of the Gateway Process report.
• 2017 - The CIA declassifies 12 million pages of records revealing previously unknown details about the program, which would eventually become known as Project Stargate.
THE REPORT
Personnel
The author of The Gateway Process report is Lieutenant Colonel Wayne M. McDonnell, hereon referred to simply as Wayne. There isn’t a tremendous amount of information available on the man, nor any photographs. In 1983, Wayne was tasked by the Commander of the U.S. Army Operational Group with figuring out how The Gateway Experience, astral projection and out-of-body experiences work. Wayne partnered with a bunch of different folks to produce the report, most notably Itzhak Bentov, a very Googleable American-Israeli scientist who helped pioneer the biomedical engineering industry.
A scientific approach
From the outset of the report, Wayne states his intent to employ an objective scientific method in order to understand the Gateway process. The various scientific avenues he takes include:
• A biomedical inquiry to understand the physical aspects of the process.
• Information on quantum mechanics to describe the nature and functioning of human consciousness.
• Theoretical physics to explain the time-space dimension and means by which expanded human consciousness transcends it.
• Classical physics to bring the whole phenomenon of out-of-body states into the language of physical science (and remove the stigma of an occult connotation).
Methodological frames of reference
Before diving into the Gateway Experience, Wayne develops a frame of reference by dissecting three discrete consciousness-altering methodologies. He’s basically saying, there’s no way you’re going to get through The Gateway without a solid grounding in the brain-altering techniques that came before it.
1) He begins with hypnosis. The language is extremely dense, but the basic gist is as follows: the left side of the brain screens incoming stimuli, categorizing, assessing and assigning meaning to everything through self-cognitive, verbal, and linear reasoning. The left hemisphere then dishes the carefully prepared data to the non-critical, holistic, pattern-oriented right hemisphere, which accepts everything without question. Hypnosis works by putting the left side to sleep, or at least distracting it long enough to allow incoming data direct, unchallenged entry to the right hemisphere. There, stimuli can reach the sensor and motor cortices of the right brain, which corresponds to points in the body. Suggestions then can send electrical signals from the brain to certain parts of the body. Directing these signals appropriately, according to the report, can elicit reactions ranging from left leg numbness to feelings of happiness. Same goes for increased powers of concentration.
2) Wayne continues with a snapshot of transcendental meditation. He distinguishes it from hypnotism. Through concentration the subject draws energy up the spinal cord, resulting in acoustical waves that run through the cerebral ventricles, to the right hemisphere, where they stimulate the cerebral cortex, run along the homunculus and then to the body. The waves are the altered rhythm of heart sounds, which create sympathetic vibrations in the walls of the fluid-filled cavities of the brain’s ventricles. He observed that the symptoms begin in the left side of the body, confirming the right brain’s complicity. Bentov also states that the same effect might be achieved by prolonged exposure to 4 - 7 Hertz/second acoustical vibrations. He suggests standing by an air conditioning duct might also do the trick. (David’s Lynch and other celebrities are committed adherents to transcendental meditation today.)
3) Biofeedback, on the other hand, uses the left hemisphere to gain access to the right brain’s lower cerebral, motor, and sensory cortices. Whereas hypnosis suppresses one side of the brain, and TM bypasses that side altogether, biofeedback teaches the left hemisphere to visualize the desired result, recognize the feelings associated with right hemisphere access, and ultimately achieve the result again. With repetition, the left brain can reliably key into the right brain, and strengthen the pathways so that it can be accessed during a conscious demand mode. A digital thermometer is subsequently placed on a target part of the body. When its temperature increases, objective affirmation is recognized and the state is reinforced. Achieving biofeedback can block pain, enhance feeling, and even suppress tumors, according to the report.
The Gateway mechanics
With that, Wayne takes a first stab at the Gateway process. He classifies it as a “training system designed to bring enhanced strength, focus and coherence to the amplitude and frequency of brainwave output between the left and right hemispheres so as to alter consciousness.”
What distinguishes the Gateway process from hypnosis, TM, and biofeedback, is that it requires achieving a state of consciousness in which the electrical brain patterns of both hemispheres are equal in amplitude and frequency. This is called Hemi-Sync. Lamentably, and perhaps conveniently, we cannot as humans achieve this state on our own. The audio techniques developed by Bob Monroe and his Institute (which are comprised as a series of tapes). claim to induce and sustain Hemi-Sync.
Wayne employs the analogy of a lamp versus a laser. Left to its own devices the human mind expends energy like a lamp, in a chaotic and incoherent way, achieving lots of diffusion but relatively little depth. Under Hemi-Sync though, the mind produces a “disciplined stream of light.” So, once the frequency and amplitude of the brain are rendered coherent it can then synchronize with the rarified energy levels of the universe. With this connection intact, the brain begins to receive symbols and display astonishing flashes of holistic intuition.
The Hemi-Sync technique takes advantage of a Frequency Following Response (FFR). It works like this: an external frequency emulating a recognized one will cause the brain to mimic it. So if a subject hears a frequency at the Theta level, it will shift from its resting Beta level. To achieve these unnatural levels, Hemi-Sync puts a single frequency in the left ear and a contrasting frequency in the right. The brain then experiences the Delta frequency, also known as the beat frequency. It’s more familiarly referred to these days as binaural beats. With the FFR and beat frequency phenomena firmly in place, The Gateway Process introduces a series of frequencies at marginally audible, subliminal levels. With the left brain relaxed and the body in a virtual sleep state, the conditions are ideal to promote brainwave outputs of higher and higher amplitude and frequency. Alongside subliminal suggestions from Bob Monroe (naturally), the subject can then alter their consciousness.
The Gateway system only works when the audio, which is introduced through headphones, is accompanied by a physical quietude comparable to other forms of meditation. This increases the subject’s internal resonance to the body’s sound frequencies, for example the heart. This eliminates the “bifurcation echo”, in which the heartbeat moves up and down the body seven times a second. By placing the body in a sleep-like state, The Gateway CD’s, like meditation, lessen the force and frequency of the heartbeat pushing blood into the aorta. The result is a rhythmic sine wave that in turn amplifies the sound volume of the heart three times. This then amplifies the frequency of brainwave output. The film surrounding the brain—the dura—and fluid between that film and the skull, eventually begin to move up and down, by .0005 and .010 millimeters.
The body, based on its own micro-motions, then functions as a tuned vibrational system. The report claims that the entire body eventually transfers energy at between 6.8 and 7.5 Hertz, which matches Earth’s own energy (7 - 7.5 Hertz). The resulting wavelengths are long, about 40,000 kilometers, which also happens to be the perimeter of the planet. According to Bentov, the signal can move around the world’s electrostatic field in 1/7th of a second.
To recap, the Gateway Process goes like this:
• Induced state of calm
• Blood pressure lowers
• Circulatory system, skeleton and other organ systems begin to vibrate at 7 - 7.5 cycles per second
• Increased resonance is achieved
• The resulting sound waves matches the electrostatic field of the earth
• The body and earth and other similarly tuned minds become a single energy continuum.
We’ve gotten slightly ahead of ourselves here though. Back to the drawing board.
A psycho-quantum level deeper
Wayne then turns to the very nature of matter and energy. More materially (or less if you will), solid matter in the strict construction of the term, he explains, doesn’t exist. The atomic structure is composed of oscillating energy grids surrounded by other oscillating energy grids at tremendous speeds. These oscillation rates vary—the nucleus of an atom vibrates at 10 to the power of 22, a molecule vibrates at 10 to the power of 9, a human cell vibrates at 10 to the power of 3. The point is that the entire universe is one complex system of energy fields. States of matter in this conception then are merely variations in the state of energy.
The result of all these moving energies, bouncing off of energy at rest, projects a 3D mode, a pattern, called a hologram, A.K.A our reality as we experience it. It's best to think of it as a 3D photograph. There’s a whole rabbit hole to go down here. Suffice it to say, the hologram that is our experience is incredibly good at depicting and recording all the various energies bouncing around creating matter. So good, in fact, that we buy into it hook, line, and sinker, going so far as to call it our "life."
Consciousness then can be envisaged as a 3D grid system superimposed over all energy patterns, Wayne writes. Using mathematics, each plane of the grid system can then reduce the data to a 2D form. Our binary (go/no go) minds can then process the data and compare it to other historical data saved in our memory. Our reality is then formed by comparisons. The right hemisphere of the brain acts as the primary matrix or receptor for this holographic input. The left hemisphere then compares it to other data, reducing it to its 2D form.
In keeping with our species' commitment to exceptionalism, as far as we know humans are uniquely capable of achieving this level of consciousness. Simply, humans not only know, but we know that we know. This bestows upon us the ability to duplicate aspects of our own hologram, project them out, perceive that projection, run it through a comparison with our own memory of the hologram, measure the differences using 3D geometry, then run it through our binary system to yield verbal cognition of the self.
The click-out phase
Wayne then shows his cards as a true punisher, issuing, "Up to this point our discussion of the Gateway process has been relatively simple and easy to follow. Now the fun begins." Shots fired, Wayne. What he's preparing the commander reading this heady report for is the reveal—how we can use the Gateway to transcend the dimension of spacetime.
Time is a measurement of energy or force in motion; it is a measurement of change. This is really important. For energy to be classified as in motion, it must be confined within a vibratory pattern that can contain its motion, keeping it still. Energy not contained like this is boundary-less, and moves without limit or dimension, to infinity. This disqualifies boundary-less energy from the dimension of time because it has no rate of change. Energy in infinity, also called "the absolute state," is completely at rest because nothing is accelerating or decelerating it—again, no change. It therefore does not contribute to our hologram, our physical experience. We cannot perceive it.
Now back to frequencies. Wave oscillation occurs because a wave is bouncing between two rigid points of rest. It's like a game of electromagnetic hot potato (the potato being the wave and the participants' hands being the boundaries of the wave). Without these limits, there would be no oscillation. When a wave hits one of those points of rest, just for a very brief instant, it "clicks out" of spacetime and joins infinity. For this to occur, the speed of the oscillation has to drop below 10 the power of -33 centimeters per second. For a moment, the wave enters into a new world. The potato simply disappears into a dimension we cannot perceive.
Theoretically speaking, if the human consciousness wave pattern reaches a high enough frequency, the “click-outs” can reach continuity. Put another way, if the frequency of human consciousness can dip below 10 to the power of 33 centimeters per second but above a state of total rest, it can transcend spacetime. The Gateway experience and associated Hemi-Sync technique is designed for humans to achieve this state and establish a coherent pattern of perception in the newly realized dimensions.
Passport to the hologram
In theory, we can achieve the above at any time. The entire process though is helped along if we can separate the consciousness from our body. It’s like an existential running head start where the click-out of a consciousness already separated from its body starts much closer to, and has more time to dialogue with, other dimensions.
This is where things get a little slippery; hold on as best you can. The universe is in on the whole hologram thing, too, Wayne writes. This super hologram is called a "torus" because it takes the shape of a fuck-off massive self-contained spiral. Like this:
Give yourself a moment to let the above motion sink in...
This pattern of the universe conspicuously mirrors the patterns of electrons around the nucleus of an atom. Galaxies north of our own are moving away from us faster than the galaxies to the south; galaxies to the east and west of us are more distant. The energy that produced the matter that makes up the universe we presently enjoy, will turn back in on itself eventually. Its trajectory is ovoid, also known as the cosmic egg. As it curls back on itself it enters a black hole, goes through a densely packed energy nucleus then gets spat out the other side of a white hole and begins the process again. Springtime in the cosmos, baby!
And that is the context in which the Gateway Experience sits.
[Deep breaths.]
THE TECHNIQUE
The following is an outline of the key steps to reach focus levels necessary to defy the spacetime dimension. This is an involved and lengthy process best attempted in controlled settings. If you’re in a rush, you can apparently listen to enough Monroe Institute Gateway Tapes in 7 days to get there.
The Energy Conversion Box: The Gateway Process begins by teaching the subject to isolate any extraneous concerns using a visualization process called “the energy conversion box.”
Resonant Humming: The individual is introduced to resonant humming. Through the utterance of a protracted single tone, alongside a chorus on the tapes, the mind and body achieve a state of resonance.
The Gateway Affirmation: The participant is exposed to something close to a mantra called The Gateway Affirmation. They must repeat to themselves variations of, “I am more than a physical body and deeply desire to expand my consciousness.”
Hemi-Sync: The individual is finally exposed to the Hemi-Sync sound frequencies, and encouraged to develop a relationship with the feelings that emerge.
Additional Noise: Physical relaxation techniques are practiced while the Hemi-Sync frequencies are expanded to include “pink and white” noise. This puts the body in a state of virtual sleep, while calming the left hemisphere and raising the attentiveness of the right hemisphere.
The Energy Balloon: The individual is then encouraged to visualize the creation of an “energy balloon” beginning at the top of the head, extending down in all directions to the feet then back up again. There are a few reasons for this, the main one being that this balloon will provide protection against conscious entities possessing lower energy levels that he or she may encounter when in the out-of-body state.
Focus 12: The practitioner can consistently achieve sufficient expanded awareness to begin interacting with dimensions beyond their physical reality. To achieve this state requires conscious efforts and more “pink and white noise” from the sound stream.
Tools: Once Focus 12 is achieved, the subject can then employ a series of tools to obtain feedback from alternate dimensions.
Problem Solving: The individual identifies fundamental problems, fills their expanded awareness with them, and then projects them out into the universe. These can include personal difficulties, as well as technical or practical problems.
Patterning: Consciousness is used to achieve desired objectives in the physical, emotional, or intellectual sphere.
Color Breathing: A healing technique that revitalizes the body’s energy flows by imagining colors in a particularly vivid manner.
Energy Bar Tool: This technique involves imagining a small intensely pulsating dot of light that the participant charges up. He or she then uses the sparkling, vibrating cylinder of energy (formerly known as the dot) to channel forces from the universe to heal and revitalize the body.
Remote Viewing: A follow-on technique of the Energy Bar Tool where the dot is turned into a whirling vortex through which the individual sends their imagination in search of illuminating insights.
Living Body Map: A more organized use of the energy bar in which streams of different colors flow from the dot on to correspondingly-colored bodily systems.
Seven days of training have now occurred. Approximately 5 percent of participants get to this next level, according to the report.
Focus 15 - Travel Into the Past: Additional sound on the Hemi-Sync tapes includes more of the same, plus some subliminal suggestions to further expand the consciousness. The instructions are highly symbolic: time is a huge wheel, in which different spokes give access to the participant’s past.
Focus 21 - The Future: This is the last and most advanced state. Like Focus 15, this is a movement out of spacetime into the future.
Out-of-Body Movement: Only one tape of the many is devoted to out-of-body movement. This tape is devoted to facilitating an out-of-body state when the participant’s brain wave patterns and energy levels reach harmony with the surrounding electromagnetic environment. According to Bob Monroe, the participant has to be exposed to Beta signals of around 2877.3 cycles per second.
CONCLUSIONS
Wayne expresses concern about the fidelity of information brought back from out-of-body states using the Gateway technique. Practical applications are of particular concern because of the potential for “information distortion.”
The Monroe Institute also ran into a bunch of issues in which they had individuals travel from the West to the East Coast of the U.S. to read a series of numbers off of a computer screen. They never got them exactly right. Wayne chalks this up to the trouble of differentiating between physical entities and extra-time-space dimensions when in the out-of-body state.
Wayne swings back to support mode though, lending credence to the physics foundation of the report. He cites multiple belief systems that have established identical findings. These include the Tibetan Shoug, the Hindu heaven of Indra, the Hebrew mystical philosophy, and the Christian concept of the Trinity. Here he seems more interested in hammering home the theoretical underpinnings that make The Gateway Experience possible, rather than the practical possibilities promised by The Gateway Tapes.
Possibly with his CIA top brass audience in mind, Wayne then gives an A-type nod to The Gateway Experience for providing a faster, more efficient, less subservient, energy-saving route to expanded consciousness. This finishes with a series of recommendations to the CIA for how to exploit Gateway’s potential for national defense purposes.
The missing page
One curious feature of The Gateway Report is that it seems to be missing page 25. It’s a real cliffhanger too. The bottom of page 24 reads “And, the eternal thought or concept of self which results from this self-consciousness serves the,” The report picks back up on page 26 and 3 sections later as if Wayne hadn’t just revealed the very secret of existence.
The gap has not gone unnoticed. There's a Change.org petition requesting its release. Multiple Freedom of Information Act requests have demanded the same. In all cases, the CIA has said they never had the page to begin with. Here’s a 2019 response from Mark Lilly, the CIA’s Information and Privacy Coordinator, to one Bailey Stoner regarding these records:
One theory goes that that rascal Wayne M.-fricking-McDonnell left the page out on purpose. The theory contends that it was a litmus test—if anyone truly defies time-space dimensions, they’ll certainly be able to locate page 25.
[Cosmic shrug.]
Writing Credit Vice
​
CIA Declassified Report– The Gateway Experience
Here is a copy of the Missing Page 25
There will be a Gateway Help Post following within the next few days. Thought you might be interested in a little background history in the meantime. Cheers!

Hi! I’m a parent who has very little knowledge/experience with homeschooling but I am trying to gather information for a project I’ve been assigned at work. We are developing a workbook for high school homeschoolers that focuses on career exploration and development. Lessons will include topics such as completing an interest inventory, exploring post-secondary options, setting goals, etc. We are wondering whether a Parent Guide would be a useful component for our workbook. I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions. Here are some specific questions:

• In general, do you find Parent Guides to be useful at the high school level?
• Would a Parent Guide be useful as a companion workbook that involves a lot of reflection/self-exploration on the part of the student?
• What information and/or materials does a Parent Guide typically contain?
• Do you prefer when a Parent Guide is separate from the student materials, or when they are integrated? (e.g., lesson plans with worksheets to photocopy/tear out)

I welcome any other insights or ideas you have on this topic!
Thanks in advance for your help!

Unlocking Email Automation in Excel VBA

Excel's versatility extends beyond data analysis and reporting, delving into the realm of automation that simplifies tedious tasks, such as email communications directly from your worksheets. The integration of Visual Basic for Applications (VBA) within Excel allows users to create custom functions, enabling the automation of creating and sending emails without leaving the comfort of their spreadsheet environment. This capability is particularly beneficial for professionals who rely on timely communication and data distribution, ensuring that reports, notifications, and updates are dispatched directly from their workbooks with minimal manual intervention.
However, navigating the VBA landscape to automate email operations can present challenges, particularly in ensuring the new mail item is prominently displayed in front of the worksheet and is sent after the contact is selected. Addressing this issue not only enhances the user experience by making email management more efficient within Excel but also leverages the full potential of Excel's automation capabilities. By streamlining these processes, users can focus more on their core tasks, knowing that their communication needs are handled efficiently and effectively.

Command	Description
CreateObject("Outlook.Application")	Creates an instance of Outlook Application, allowing VBA to control Outlook.
.CreateItem(0)	Creates a new email item.
.Display	Displays the email item to the user in Outlook.
.To, .CC, .BCC	Specifies the recipient(s) of the email in the To, CC, and BCC fields.
.Subject	Defines the subject of the email.
.Body	Sets the body content of the email.
.Send	Sends the email item.

Expanding Email Automation with Excel VBA

Delving deeper into the integration of Excel VBA for email automation unveils a powerful toolset at the disposal of users aiming to streamline their communication workflows directly from their spreadsheets. This capability is not just about sending basic emails; it's about creating a highly personalized and dynamic communication channel. Through VBA, Excel can interact with Outlook to manipulate various aspects of email creation, from adding attachments to customizing the email body with data directly sourced from the spreadsheet. This level of automation can significantly enhance productivity, especially for those dealing with customer inquiries, periodic reports, or regular updates that require personalization based on spreadsheet data.
Moreover, the automation process extends to handling responses. By automating email operations, users can set up rules within Outlook to sort incoming emails based on specific criteria, such as sender, subject, or keywords. This can be particularly useful for managing feedback or responses to the emails sent through Excel VBA. Such automation ensures that the workflow is not just one-way but creates a loop of communication that is both efficient and manageable. Implementing these advanced features requires a good understanding of both Excel VBA and Outlook's capabilities, highlighting the importance of integrating these powerful tools to maximize efficiency and effectiveness in professional communication.

Automating Outlook Emails from Excel VBA

VBA in Excel

 Dim outlookApp As Object Dim mailItem As Object Set outlookApp = CreateObject("Outlook.Application") Set mailItem = outlookApp.CreateItem(0) With mailItem .Display .To = "recipient@example.com" .CC = "ccrecipient@example.com" .BCC = "bccrecipient@example.com" .Subject = "Subject of the Email" .Body = "Body of the email" ' Add attachments and other email item properties here End With End Sub 

Enhancing Communication through Excel VBA

Integrating email automation within Excel using Visual Basic for Applications (VBA) significantly boosts the efficiency of communication processes, particularly in professional settings where time is of the essence. This integration allows for seamless creation, customization, and sending of emails directly from Excel, leveraging data within spreadsheets to personalize messages. The automation goes beyond mere convenience, enabling users to send bulk emails tailored to each recipient, schedule emails for future delivery, and even trigger emails based on specific events or conditions met within the spreadsheet. Such capabilities are invaluable for marketing campaigns, customer service follow-ups, and internal communication within organizations, ensuring that the right messages reach the right people at the right time.
Furthermore, Excel VBA's email automation can be enhanced with advanced features such as dynamic attachment inclusion, where files relevant to the spreadsheet's data or analysis are automatically attached to the outgoing emails. Users can also implement error handling to manage issues that may arise during the email sending process, such as invalid email addresses or network problems, ensuring that all communications are delivered successfully. With these advanced functionalities, Excel VBA becomes not just a tool for data management but a comprehensive solution for managing professional communications, reducing manual effort, and increasing the reliability and effectiveness of email interactions.

FAQs on Email Automation with Excel VBA

1. Question: Can Excel VBA send emails without Outlook?
2. Answer: Typically, Excel VBA uses Outlook for email automation, but it's possible to send emails via other email clients or SMTP servers with additional scripting and configuration.
3. Question: How do I attach files to an automated email in Excel VBA?
4. Answer: Use the .Attachments.Add method within your VBA script to attach files to your email. You can specify the file path directly in the code.
5. Question: Can I automate emails based on cell values in Excel?
6. Answer: Yes, by using VBA scripts, you can trigger email sending based on specific cell values or changes in the data within your spreadsheet.
7. Question: How do I ensure my automated emails are not marked as spam?
8. Answer: Ensure your emails have a clear subject line, avoid excessive links or attachments, and send emails through recognized email servers. Personalization can also help reduce the risk of being marked as spam.
9. Question: Is it possible to send HTML formatted emails with Excel VBA?
10. Answer: Yes, you can set the .HTMLBody property of the MailItem object to send emails in HTML format, allowing for rich text formatting, images, and links.
11. Question: Can automated emails include dynamic data from Excel?
12. Answer: Absolutely. You can dynamically insert data from your Excel sheets into the email's body or subject line, customizing each message based on the spreadsheet's contents.
13. Question: How do I schedule emails to be sent at a later time using Excel VBA?
14. Answer: Direct scheduling within VBA is complex; however, you can create the email and then use Outlook's Delay Delivery feature to specify a sending time.
15. Question: Can I send emails to multiple recipients using Excel VBA?
16. Answer: Yes, you can list multiple email addresses in the .To, .CC, or .BCC properties, separated by semicolons, to send emails to multiple recipients.
17. Question: How do I handle errors during the email sending process in VBA?
18. Answer: Implement error handling routines in your VBA script to catch and respond to errors, such as using Try...Catch blocks or checking for specific error codes.
19. Question: Is it necessary to have programming knowledge to automate emails with Excel VBA?
20. Answer: Basic programming knowledge is helpful for customizing and troubleshooting your VBA scripts, but many resources and templates are available to help beginners.

Mastering Excel VBA for Efficient Email Management

Excel VBA's email automation presents a transformative approach to managing communications, allowing users to leverage the powerful features of Excel to streamline their email-related tasks. By integrating VBA scripts, professionals can automate the sending of personalized emails, manage attachments, and even handle incoming responses, all within the familiar environment of Excel. This not only saves valuable time but also reduces the risk of errors associated with manual email handling. Furthermore, the ability to customize email content based on spreadsheet data ensures that communications are relevant and timely. As we continue to seek efficiencies in our professional workflows, the role of Excel VBA in automating and enhancing email communications cannot be overstated. It represents a significant step forward in how we manage data-driven communication, providing a robust toolset for professionals looking to optimize their email workflows and enhance their productivity.
https://www.tempmail.us.com/en/excel/automating-email-operations-in-excel-with-vba

Keshad Johnson saw his collegiate career end in the Sweet Sixteen with the Arizona Wildcats this year after a very successful season, helping the Wildcats earn a #2 seed and win the Pac 12 regular season. Johnson was a member and starter on San Diego State's Final Four team that made the championship in 2023 and played four years for the Aztecs before transferring to Arizona for his final season.
Johnson was a role player for San Diego State, two year starter but primarily a defender and play finisher. He wanted the opportunity to expand his role and he received that this season at Arizona.
Johnson is long, powerfully built 6'7 PF. Weighed at a very chiseled 224 pounds with a 6'11 wingspan at the combine. He has impressed so far with a 42 inch vertical and strong athletic numbers as well as displaying his versatility as a player on both ends: https://twitter.com/JonChep/status/1790163683806462145 https://twitter.com/DraftExpress/status/1790185163655356782 His stock appears to be on the rise during the draft process. He is a big time leaper in the open floor and with any time/space to load. He's fast in the open floor. He has a quick first step and is very mobile. He plays physically and isn't afraid of getting dirty. He uses his length to his advantage on both ends. Johnson's physical tools are at the heart of his intrigue as a prospect.
Johnson is a big time transition threat, lots of lobs throughout the season, a big time dunker that elevates with ease. Gets off the ground quickly and has a big time vertical. He runs the floor hard. He can even handle a bit in transition. He took it coast to coast a few times during the season.
Johnson isn't the best ballhandler overall, he doesn't have much in the way of advanced moves, he can get a bit uncoordinated at times when looking to do a little too much with his handle and he's not an isolation guy at all, but he is someone in the halfcourt and in transition that plays strong with the ball in a straight line. He's a good straight line driver off rips, he has a quick first step. His mobility aids him as a PnR roller. He makes himself presentable and available for ballhandlers in the PnR as a roller. His ability to elevate makes him a lob threat as a roller. His mobility allows him to fluidity get to the rim. He can finish with both hands. His length gives him good extension.
He's aggressive off rips on the perimeter. If he can't get past a defender off a closeout, he will use his strength to shed them and get to the rim. He's capable of hitting pull up jumpers from the midrange although he's not a great off-the-dribble shooter. He can beat switches against smalls down low in the post. His post game isn't advanced but he has good enough footwork and strength to take advantage of the mismatch.
He's a smart cutter and good at duck-ins and finding easy ways to score. He didn't get to the line a ton this season but that's in large part because he found easy ways to score down low; he had 49 dunks on the season. He's a good offensive rebounder with a nose for the ball, willing to pursue balls in the air, and able to grab balls in traffic. He tips quite a few balls out for his teammates and creates extra possessions, his length and elevation makes him a positive force as an offensive rebounder. Johnson isn't an elite finisher outside of dunks, as he doesn't have quite as much pop vertically when he can't load and he can be swallowed up at times because of size, I don't think he has elite touch, but he was a strong finisher overall. He does have a decent floater in his arsenal if not right at the rim.
Johnson shot 39% from 3 on the season and 41% in conference. He averaged 2.6 attempts per game. His form is OK but is also a bit on the square side. The mechanics are fine, and he's also a good midrange shooter. He's not an off the dribble guy and not as good when facing contests, but give him space and he will knock down the C&S 3 and 2. He even made a few 3's off screens. He shot 71% from the line and had never been a shooter before this year. People will have their questions about sustainability, I don't think he's a natural shooter, but he knocked shots down this year and he being someone who spread the floor and was a reliable C&S guy from the perimeter has really made him a far more attractive prospect.
Johnson sets good screens both on and off the ball, he's a space creator as a screen setter. His screen setting aids him as a PnR rollefinisher, as well as his ballhandlers. He's very fluid in peeling off the screen and rolling to the rim. He does ancillary things very well on the offensive end. He's also a solid passer. He averaged 1.8 assists and will make nifty passes and quick reads in a variety of ways. He finds cutters at the top of the key and FT line, he finds dump off guys and cutters when driving to the rim, he finds shooters off the roll. He will engage dribble handoffs and roll or pop and make shots or find the open teammate. He's not an advanced passer but makes good reads with good timing and good accuracy and has good vision as a passer. He's a good ball mover and functions well within the context of the team on the offensive end.
He also functions well as a team defender. He helps the helper, he's a good and sharp rotater, he deflects passes and keeps his hands up in trail positions and facing ballhandlers, he blocks quite a few shots from behind as a helper. He plays a pretty disciplined brand of defense. He's not someone who's gonna take big risks doubling down for example and straying off shooters, but he does have active hands as a defender and deflects passes with his length. He's really good at contesting shots both on the perimeter and the post. His length helps, he doesn't launch and take himself out of plays....he doesn't bite for fakes often and he can recover when he does. He's very good with verticality down low as a help defender. He's someone who's very good at remaining vertical and bothering and making it a lot more difficult for opponents to make shots around the rim.
Arizona switched a lot and though they had some miscommunications across the board, Johnson is good at executing switches quickly and he has the ability to hang on the perimeter, especially against small forwards on switches. He's a very good on ball defender against forwards overall; he doesn't give up ground, he's got excellent footwork, he's just too quick/strong/long for them to get around. He's a little less apt against guards...he doesn't have elite agility, double moves can catch him out. He's not quick enough laterally to stay with every guard/forward he sees. He has some impressive moments, and I still think he's fairly switchable because of his length if not an elite option down the lineup.
He is a good switch guy up the lineup....he plays strong in the post defensively. He won't be able to deal with every big man he comes across but he's gonna battle.
What makes him a good offensive rebounder also makes him a good defensive rebounder....his physicality, length, motor, and ability to carve out space and attack balls in the air.
Keshad Johnson had a breakout season as a 5th year senior for Arizona and displayed a versatile skill set on both ends of the floor that any team at the NBA level could use. He checks a lot of boxes. He's one of those guys who isn't the sexiest player but his motor, his intensity, his IQ, and ability to fit into a role and contribute in a variety of ways makes him someone whose stock is seemingly on the rise. What do you all think about Keshad Johnson? Thumbs Up, Down, or Across?
Note: Reposting after measurements/athletic testing numbers

Hi all, researching this topic makes my hair turn gray. I am interested in putting up a summer pool for the kids and something for us adults to sway in but able to put away during the late late fall and winter or keep covered without worry. I live in central Florida and I have a screened in paver patio that is 22' x 40' so I have some room to work with. My dilemma is putting up something bigger on the pavers than I have done in the past to keep make everyone happy.
So my paver patio is all up to code and don't want to do any extra work like digging up the pavers. I just want to put the pool onto of them. My screened porch has a concrete base along the perimeter *save for the side adjacent the house and it is all there supporting the enclosure that also locks in the pavers against my house. So moving pavers around is not ideal. I want to set up a pool directly on the pavers.
I have done this with a kiddie pool and a pool that was 9' 26inches. Not going to lie this setup wasn't ideal and I didn't know any better. I just draped a heavy tarp on the pavers and laid the pool directly over it. The pool survived pretty much all summer until it tore at the bottom and had a noticeable leak. Despite this my pavers didn't sink or show any damage after I inspected. Now upon researching and checking in to things I am a little more ambitious and want to put a longer lasting/bigger pool.
Now my question to you all what would be the best setup?
Can I lay down a thick tarp, put a ton of paver sand on it, level the sand at 3inches minimum up on top of the tarp, crease/fold tarp ends under pad/pool, put a rhino protective pad over that, and then put the pool over it?
Is this overkill or am I being delusional? I know most round pools have upright steel posts with flat feet supports that must be on level ground. I am worried with all of the above the pool may be sitting higher than those posts or that those posts will sink into the sand.. Or that I bring in some pavers for each support post and match the sand to that height around the pool....
Thanks for any help and suggestions.

There have been an increasing number of juniors visiting this sub asking for advice about writing essays. Below are some tips and advice for making your essay stand out as excellent. Feel free to ask questions because I will answer every single question in the comments.
I know from experience that many of you are struggling to identify a good topic for your essay. Conventional wisdom says to start by brainstorming a list of potential topics, and chances are, you have already started a mental list of ideas. You might think you only have a few choices for topics, based on your activities or experiences, or essay examples you read, or the rough draft you already started (or worse, that GPT started...). I advise, however, that you put down your list of topics and back away from it. Forget that exists for a moment. Seriously - thinking about this initial list tethers you to certain ideas that might not actually be your best options.
Now you can begin brainstorming with a clean slate.
Start with thinking about what you want to show in your entire application, not just one essay. Every single component in your app has one purpose – to tell more about YOU. Filling out the rest of the application by rote and focusing solely on the essay is short-sighted and will leave so much potential untapped in your application.

It's About You. Tell Your Story - And Be The Protagonist

An admissions officer’s goal is to understand you fully, in the context of your background and the rest of the applicant pool. They will begin this with assessing your academic abilities and potential. Then they will evaluate how you will fit into the student body they’re trying to curate. All of this can be somewhat broad and diverse and touch on several institutional goals. But they will dig deep to find out what each applicant is like, what your core values and motivations are, what kind of student you will be, how you will contribute to the vibrant and intellectual campus community they’re building, etc.
Your goal with essay brainstorming is to ascertain how to powerfully tell your story in a manner that will fit these criteria. The entirety of your application (again, not just one essay) aims to showcase your abilities, qualifications, and uncommon attributes as a person in a positive way. Before you begin outlining or writing your application, you must determine what is unique about you that will stand out to an admissions panel. All students are truly unique. Not one other student has the same combination of life experiences, personality, passions, or goals as you do. Your job in your application is to frame your unique personal attributes in a positive and compelling way. How will you fit on campus? What personal qualities, strengths, core values, talents, or different perspectives do you bring to the table? What stories, deeper motivations/beliefs, or formative experiences can you use to illustrate all of this?
It is always helpful to start with some soul-searching or self-examination. You might not immediately know what you want to share about yourself. It’s not a simple task to decide how to summarize your whole life and being in a powerful and eloquent way on your application. Introspection prior to starting your application takes additional time and effort rather than jumping straight into your first draft. But it is also a valuable method to start writing a winning application that stands out from the stack.
You'll see the advice everywhere that all essay prompts are really about the same thing - you. The goal of each essay then is to showcase who you are, what matters to you, and how you think. I guarantee if you're on this sub enough, you'll hear the advice to "show, don't tell" when writing about yourself. But what does this mean really, and how do you do it well? How do you even get started on an essay that does this?

Introspection Questions

It’s often easiest to start thinking in terms of superlatives, especially those related to personal insights -- what are the most meaningful things about you, and what do you value the most? Here is a list of questions to help you brainstorm broadly before you narrow down your focus for writing:

• What are your interests?
  
• What sparks your curiosity?
  
• About what topics do you enjoy reading?
  
• With whom do you enjoy spending time? Who has impacted your life the most?
  
• Reflect upon “superlatives” in your life. What moments were most memorable, formative, enlightening, enjoyable, or valuable? What physical possessions, experiences, dreams, or lessons could make your superlatives list?
  
• Stop and think about what things, people, or circumstances in your life are really unique, fascinating, or outlandish. Are there any that really have a lot of "cultural flavor" (whatever your culture is)?
  

I have a free introspection worksheet with over 100 questions like this designed to help you find ideas worth exploring in your essays. You can find it on the A2C Discord or download it directly here.

Find Your Story And Arc

Think of a small anecdote or story from your life that you could share that serves as a microcosm of who you are and what is important to you. It will massively help you narrow this down and find a gem of a story if you first start by thinking about your application arc or theme. This is the one-phrase summary of your entire application. It could be "brilliant entrepreneur who started her own successful business" or "talented athlete who wants to study economics and finance as they pertain to sports", or even "avid baker whose hobby sparked an interest in chemistry". It doesn't have to be related to your intended major, but it can help your arc be stronger and clearer if it is.
Once you have an arc determined and a story to share, think about what you want that story to say about you. This is where it can help to think of this as something you would share on a date - what impression does it make about you to the reader? Once you know this, start showing, not telling this attribute of yourself through your story. For example, instead of saying that you're compassionate toward others, you show an example of a time you were compassionate, then elaborate on why, and what it means to you.

Essay Brainstorming Techniques

If you are having trouble finding a story, or simply have writer’s block once you have picked your topic, here are some ideas to get your juices flowing:

• Stream of consciousness writing -- Start writing whatever is in your head, and don’t stop for 30 minutes. You probably won’t use what you just wrote for your essay, but it will help you find a starting point.
  
• Journaling -- Answer the prompt as if you were writing in a journal. This will get you in the habit of writing about yourself and establish comfort with the concept. It will also take you to a new level of introspection and self-awareness.
  
• Twitter X style -- Write several rapid-fire responses to the prompt in 280 characters or less. Choose an idea from these responses to expound upon in your essay.
  
• Read each essay prompt, then go through your introspection worksheet responses and connect the stories and insights to one or more of the prompts. Some students like using color coding to visually see how their different ideas might work together.
  

Why Essays Matter

Here's the thing a lot of people don't realize about college admission: it's not an award for being the smartest, most accomplished, or most impressive. It's an invitation to join a community. Far too many students think that if they can just show that they're smart enough, they'll get in. Yale even says right on their admissions website that 75% of their applicants are academically qualified to succeed at Yale. But only ~4% are getting in. That should tell you that they're looking for more than just top tier test scores and grades. To be perfectly clear, you will need top tier grades and (optionally) test scores to show that you're qualified, and the vast majority of my students come to me with this part already in the bank. But what sets the admits apart? It's personal insight - sharing who you are, how you think, what matters to you, and how you engage community. You can't just say "/IAmVerySmart, please admit me," or even "I did a cool thing guys! Isn't that neat!" You need to go deeper and show them your core values, personal strengths, motivations, aspirations, character traits, foundational beliefs, personality, etc. And you need to do it in a charming, winsome way that makes them like you and want to invite you to join their community.
So how do I get students to do this? All of my students complete that introspection worksheet. We go through it and find the stories, examples, anecdotes, conversations, memories, relationships, and other things from their life that will help us craft a strong and personally insightful narrative. We also make lists of the values, strengths, and key personal qualities we want to showcase. Once we have some topics, outlines, abstracts, or rough drafts, we talk about which stories to tell where, how to tell them well, and what details to include to present the best they have to offer. Then we refine, edit, polish, and enhance over and over until the story sings, but more importantly shows their heart and soul. We also go through all the other application components to ensure consistency, quality, and distinctiveness.
Here's why this works so well: at most highly selective colleges there is a primary reader (or 2-3) who will review everything first and then present it to the admissions committee, who then votes on whether to admit you. That presentation typically goes one of three ways:

1. Total enthusiasm, energy, and excitement. They strongly advocate for admission and paint a clear picture of how you will contribute to their goals and community. Everyone in the room picks up on that energy and is leaning forward in their chairs, looking for reasons to admit you. This is quite rare, generally less than 5 out of every 100 applications, even among those which are "fully qualified." When you do this right, you show depth, meaning, and valuable personal insights so the reviewer is learning about who you are and how you might engage the community they're curating. You come alive off the page as a person, not just another file.
   
2. Business as usual. You're another great applicant in a pile of great applicants. They share a basic review of the facts, your profile, stats, strengths, weaknesses, etc. Maybe someone on the committee finds something they love, and they really push for admission. More likely, not and you get deferred/waitlisted even though there wasn't anything "wrong" with your application. They just didn't love you enough to commit.
   
3. "Here's a stack of 20 applications that I didn't find all that compelling, so we won't present them individually, but you guys are the committee and you make the decisions. So let me know if there are any you want to talk about." In this case, unless there's a letter of endorsement from an athletics coach or your last name matches several buildings on campus, you're probably not getting additional consideration, much less admission. They will regret to inform you.
   

Everything we're doing is designed to help them get to know themselves, present the best they have to offer, and land in that first group. Having top tier essays is the single best way to get there. Get started on brainstorming in the next few weeks so you'll have time to get a few essays completed over the summer.

There have been an increasing number of juniors visiting this sub asking for advice about writing essays. Below are some tips and advice for making your essay stand out as excellent. Feel free to ask questions because I will answer every single question in the comments.
I know from experience that many of you are struggling to identify a good topic for your essay. Conventional wisdom says to start by brainstorming a list of potential topics, and chances are, you have already started a mental list of ideas. You might think you only have a few choices for topics, based on your activities or experiences, or essay examples you read, or the rough draft you already started (or worse, that GPT started...). I advise, however, that you put down your list of topics and back away from it. Forget that exists for a moment. Seriously - thinking about this initial list tethers you to certain ideas that might not actually be your best options.
Now you can begin brainstorming with a clean slate.
Start with thinking about what you want to show in your entire application, not just one essay. Every single component in your app has one purpose – to tell more about YOU. Filling out the rest of the application by rote and focusing solely on the essay is short-sighted and will leave so much potential untapped in your application.

It's About You. Tell Your Story - And Be The Protagonist

An admissions officer’s goal is to understand you fully, in the context of your background and the rest of the applicant pool. They will begin this with assessing your academic abilities and potential. Then they will evaluate how you will fit into the student body they’re trying to curate. All of this can be somewhat broad and diverse and touch on several institutional goals. But they will dig deep to find out what each applicant is like, what your core values and motivations are, what kind of student you will be, how you will contribute to the vibrant and intellectual campus community they’re building, etc.
Your goal with essay brainstorming is to ascertain how to powerfully tell your story in a manner that will fit these criteria. The entirety of your application (again, not just one essay) aims to showcase your abilities, qualifications, and uncommon attributes as a person in a positive way. Before you begin outlining or writing your application, you must determine what is unique about you that will stand out to an admissions panel. All students are truly unique. Not one other student has the same combination of life experiences, personality, passions, or goals as you do. Your job in your application is to frame your unique personal attributes in a positive and compelling way. How will you fit on campus? What personal qualities, strengths, core values, talents, or different perspectives do you bring to the table? What stories, deeper motivations/beliefs, or formative experiences can you use to illustrate all of this?
It is always helpful to start with some soul-searching or self-examination. You might not immediately know what you want to share about yourself. It’s not a simple task to decide how to summarize your whole life and being in a powerful and eloquent way on your application. Introspection prior to starting your application takes additional time and effort rather than jumping straight into your first draft. But it is also a valuable method to start writing a winning application that stands out from the stack.
You'll see the advice everywhere that all essay prompts are really about the same thing - you. The goal of each essay then is to showcase who you are, what matters to you, and how you think. I guarantee if you're on this sub enough, you'll hear the advice to "show, don't tell" when writing about yourself. But what does this mean really, and how do you do it well? How do you even get started on an essay that does this?

Introspection Questions

It’s often easiest to start thinking in terms of superlatives, especially those related to personal insights -- what are the most meaningful things about you, and what do you value the most? Here is a list of questions to help you brainstorm broadly before you narrow down your focus for writing:

• What are your interests?
  
• What sparks your curiosity?
  
• About what topics do you enjoy reading?
  
• With whom do you enjoy spending time? Who has impacted your life the most?
  
• Reflect upon “superlatives” in your life. What moments were most memorable, formative, enlightening, enjoyable, or valuable? What physical possessions, experiences, dreams, or lessons could make your superlatives list?
  
• Stop and think about what things, people, or circumstances in your life are really unique, fascinating, or outlandish. Are there any that really have a lot of "cultural flavor" (whatever your culture is)?
  

I have a free introspection worksheet with over 100 questions like this designed to help you find ideas worth exploring in your essays. You can find it on the A2C Discord or download it directly here.

Find Your Story And Arc

Think of a small anecdote or story from your life that you could share that serves as a microcosm of who you are and what is important to you. It will massively help you narrow this down and find a gem of a story if you first start by thinking about your application arc or theme. This is the one-phrase summary of your entire application. It could be "brilliant entrepreneur who started her own successful business" or "talented athlete who wants to study economics and finance as they pertain to sports", or even "avid baker whose hobby sparked an interest in chemistry". It doesn't have to be related to your intended major, but it can help your arc be stronger and clearer if it is.
Once you have an arc determined and a story to share, think about what you want that story to say about you. This is where it can help to think of this as something you would share on a date - what impression does it make about you to the reader? Once you know this, start showing, not telling this attribute of yourself through your story. For example, instead of saying that you're compassionate toward others, you show an example of a time you were compassionate, then elaborate on why, and what it means to you.

Essay Brainstorming Techniques

If you are having trouble finding a story, or simply have writer’s block once you have picked your topic, here are some ideas to get your juices flowing:

• Stream of consciousness writing -- Start writing whatever is in your head, and don’t stop for 30 minutes. You probably won’t use what you just wrote for your essay, but it will help you find a starting point.
  
• Journaling -- Answer the prompt as if you were writing in a journal. This will get you in the habit of writing about yourself and establish comfort with the concept. It will also take you to a new level of introspection and self-awareness.
  
• Twitter X style -- Write several rapid-fire responses to the prompt in 280 characters or less. Choose an idea from these responses to expound upon in your essay.
  
• Read each essay prompt, then go through your introspection worksheet responses and connect the stories and insights to one or more of the prompts. Some students like using color coding to visually see how their different ideas might work together.
  

Why Essays Matter

Here's the thing a lot of people don't realize about college admission: it's not an award for being the smartest, most accomplished, or most impressive. It's an invitation to join a community. Far too many students think that if they can just show that they're smart enough, they'll get in. Yale even says right on their admissions website that 75% of their applicants are academically qualified to succeed at Yale. But only ~4% are getting in. That should tell you that they're looking for more than just top tier test scores and grades. To be perfectly clear, you will need top tier grades and (optionally) test scores to show that you're qualified, and the vast majority of my students come to me with this part already in the bank. But what sets the admits apart? It's personal insight - sharing who you are, how you think, what matters to you, and how you engage community. You can't just say "/IAmVerySmart, please admit me," or even "I did a cool thing guys! Isn't that neat!" You need to go deeper and show them your core values, personal strengths, motivations, aspirations, character traits, foundational beliefs, personality, etc. And you need to do it in a charming, winsome way that makes them like you and want to invite you to join their community.
So how do I get students to do this? All of my students complete that introspection worksheet. We go through it and find the stories, examples, anecdotes, conversations, memories, relationships, and other things from their life that will help us craft a strong and personally insightful narrative. We also make lists of the values, strengths, and key personal qualities we want to showcase. Once we have some topics, outlines, abstracts, or rough drafts, we talk about which stories to tell where, how to tell them well, and what details to include to present the best they have to offer. Then we refine, edit, polish, and enhance over and over until the story sings, but more importantly shows their heart and soul. We also go through all the other application components to ensure consistency, quality, and distinctiveness.
Here's why this works so well: at most highly selective colleges there is a primary reader (or 2-3) who will review everything first and then present it to the admissions committee, who then votes on whether to admit you. That presentation typically goes one of three ways:

1. Total enthusiasm, energy, and excitement. They strongly advocate for admission and paint a clear picture of how you will contribute to their goals and community. Everyone in the room picks up on that energy and is leaning forward in their chairs, looking for reasons to admit you. This is quite rare, generally less than 5 out of every 100 applications, even among those which are "fully qualified." When you do this right, you show depth, meaning, and valuable personal insights so the reviewer is learning about who you are and how you might engage the community they're curating. You come alive off the page as a person, not just another file.
   
2. Business as usual. You're another great applicant in a pile of great applicants. They share a basic review of the facts, your profile, stats, strengths, weaknesses, etc. Maybe someone on the committee finds something they love, and they really push for admission. More likely, not and you get deferred/waitlisted even though there wasn't anything "wrong" with your application. They just didn't love you enough to commit.
   
3. "Here's a stack of 20 applications that I didn't find all that compelling, so we won't present them individually, but you guys are the committee and you make the decisions. So let me know if there are any you want to talk about." In this case, unless there's a letter of endorsement from an athletics coach or your last name matches several buildings on campus, you're probably not getting additional consideration, much less admission. They will regret to inform you.
   

Everything we're doing is designed to help them get to know themselves, present the best they have to offer, and land in that first group. Having top tier essays is the single best way to get there. Get started on brainstorming in the next few weeks so you'll have time to get a few essays completed over the summer.

Context, I live in Sydney Australia and we’re about to go into winter here. When we first moved into this house at the start of March, we got a general pest control which included baiting the roof for rodents.
Fast forward to mid-April, and we started hearing scratching sounds in the roof and walls which I believed was mice based on previous places I’ve lived. We got the pest control guy back in, and he did another inspection of the roof. All the baits were gone and he noticed rat droppings in the roof cavity. He did a much heavier bait installation in the roof and also put some bait stations around the perimeter of the house. He couldn’t see any obvious entry points in the roof cavity.
After this, we didn’t hear anything in the roof for about 2 weeks and then once again heard the scratching sounds and footsteps directly above our heads in the ceiling (this was last week). Also heard some running sounds on some planks of wood on our driveway late at night, quickly looked outside to see something with a big fluffy black tail hide under my car.
Called pest control and he said it’s unlikely they would’ve eaten all the bait already, and said to keep an eye on it. We haven’t gone up into the roof cavity ourselves to check just yet. He said it could also be a brushtail possum (hence the big black fluffy tail) but tbh they’re a lot bigger than rats and the footsteps and scratching in our ceiling didn’t sound like they were coming from a cat sized animal.
Haven’t heard the ceiling noises since last week however just now, in broad daylight, I heard something running on top of the carport outside. Quickly went outside and looked up in time to see the shadow of an animal with a skinny tail running across it and out of site onto our roof. ☹️
My questions are, do we have a huge rat infestation living somewhere on our property, is it likely our roof baits have been all eaten already after 2 weeks, do we need to top them up constantly to get rid of the rats, or what else can we do to get rid of them? I’m terrified they’re going to somehow make their way into the house next. I refuse to go into the roof cavity myself, and my husband keeps putting it off - he doesn’t think it’s a major issue apparently and reckons they’ll go away soon, and is rarely home during the day due to his work.

Hey so I’m an incoming freshmen so if my question is dumb let me know. I’m looking at the gen ed requirements while filling out my pre advisory worksheet. For a lot of the categories they are broken up into sub categories. For like the cultural studies it specifically says you must do one of each sub category. However for Natural science and tech, Social and Behavioral Sciences, and Humanities and Arts if doesn’t specifically say the sub categories are required. So could I get away with say two natural science classes in the same category? I ask cuz I have a bunch of AP credits I’d like to use if possible

Hello
I have this formula

=GETPIVOTDATA("Seating Capacity",'Seat Summary'!$C$2,"Space Category","Occupant/Tenant Area","Room Type","Individual Workspace","Open-Closed","Open","Dedicated-Shared","Dedicated")

I changed the word within the formula from "Workspace Category" to "Space category", I also made the change in the header that the worksheet resides in, however, this little change causes the entire equation to generate a REF error.
Unfortunately, I cannot share more of the file. My question is outside of using find and replace to change the words from "Workspace Category" to "Space category" is there anything else i have to do? The equation works using the word "Workspace Category" but not when i use "Space category".