How to tell if a virgo likes you
Resumes
2009.06.14 12:00 epicRelic Resumes
A place for people to give and receive resume-related advice.
2019.11.20 09:10 Off My Chest Philippines
A Filipino community where we work to make it a safe space in which you can unload your burdens, as well as celebrate your wins and milestones. This šššš to be a non-judgmental space where you can vent things you want off your chest and find support in each other. May posting here bring relief to you.
2013.06.25 03:50 FozzTexx Workbenches
Workbenches!
2024.05.15 00:32 Icy-Text-9833 I feel guilty for going no contact with my 19 year old daughter, but I can not change it.
Super long post so grab your tea and settle in.
I, (50f) have two kids; daughter (19) and son (18). My daughter has always been difficult. She would blame her brother for things she did, fight with him endlessly, lied continuously to me, stole from family and stores and was a hard teen to raise. She began seeing a boy (21m) 3 years ago and honestly I didnāt care for him from the start. He was rude, intitled, zero respect and already had quite the legal record.
My daughter ended up pregnant by him about 1 month into their relationship she was 16 he was 18. They lied to me and told me he was 16. They also lied about the pregnancy. She really didnāt get a pregnant belly and anytime I mentioned she was gaining some weight and could she possibly be pregnant she would accuse me of fat shaming her and being rude just for asking. Fast forward a few months and she said she was staying at her best friends for the weekend. Her friends mom even backed this story and lied to me saying, yes she is with us. When in fact she was at boyfriends recently acquired apartment ( I had no idea about and was told he lived with his grandparents). She went into labor that weekend, I still had no idea she was pregnant. When she finally called to say she was at the hospital and had a baby she insisted she had no idea she was pregnant and it was a suprise to all of them. I didnāt really buy that but didnāt argue, none of it mattered. She had a new baby and baby needed taken care of. With her story of not knowing I immediately went shopping. Bought everything you would need for a new baby. She let me know she was moving in with BF and would be raising the baby with him. When I dropped off the baby gear (literally an F250 truck load) to the apartment I notice quite a few items were already in place for a new baby, and realized they knew and had already gotten some stuff. None of that really mattered to me, I was a grandmother now and the howās and whyās werenāt changeable so I just moved on. I tried really hard to accept her BF and invited him into our little family. He was always rude making snide comments about my son and their father. Father took his life a month before baby was born, whole other story. He would say how much better he was and would never leave his family, just a little turd. He wouldnāt let her visit without him. I couldnāt even talk to her on the phone without him listening and answering for her. He seemed extremely controlling and jealous of any relationship she had, even with her brother and I.
This kid could never hold a job for more than a month, sat around playing video games, didnāt help with baby, didnāt clean or cook. Just a waste of space, smoking weed and doing nothing. I tried not to say anything but the look on my face was telling whenever she would talk about him to me. They eventually got behind and lost their apartment and refused to move in with me because I wouldnāt allow him to stay, just her and the baby.
They were living in their cars and couch surfing. She had very little contact with me durning this time. At one point a friend of theirs called me to tell me BF was being abusive and I drove to where they were living to see if she would come home with me and leave an abusive relationship. She refused, actually became very angry I would even butt in to their relationship like that. I honestly just wanted my babygirl, my first born safe and not hurt. A little time goes by and eventually she reached out and I help her get into an apartment, he wasnāt on the lease. A couple months go by she tells me she is 5 months with number two. I am less than thrilled but it is what it is and I am just happy she is in an apartment.
Then, I get a phone call. She was just taken to the hospital because BF hit her in her pregnant belly and baby wasnāt moving. (Baby is fine).
Cops were called he is taken to jail. There was apparently an incident before this where he gave her a black eye. The police were called then but he ran and they didnāt find him but there was still a report filed. I was never told of the black eye story till later.
The time he is in jail (3 months), she is at my house daily. I am helping her with the baby and her pregnancy. I go to doctors appointments was even in her labor room. Things were actually good between us and her and her brother were getting along great. Brother is an amazing uncle and loves his niece to death. Buys her anything she wants and they are so close. She tells me she is done with BF, has a restraining order. Is moving forward and sees how in 3 short months her life is actually improving.
But sure enough as soon as he is released (2 felony charges) she takes him right back. She lies to me saying she wonāt and isnāt but I donāt believe her at all. So I drive to her place and he is there. She screams at me to mind my own business and if she wants him itās not up to me. Again I have been there everyday with both babyās. Helping her and getting a chance to know my grandkids. At this point am very attached to my little angels and extremely frightened for her safety . She tells me, If I canāt get over the fact she will be with BF, then she never wants to see me again. Iām crushed but at the same time I am done. Done with all the lies, done with being told I canāt see the kids. With baby number one I have gotten to see her just a handful of times until the three months BF was in jail. Done with being treated like crap from my daughter. I feel like she was just using me while he was in jail. So I say fine.
That was in march. I havenāt spoken to her since. She hasnāt reached out at all and even changed her number. I feel guilt because I didnāt really fight the no contact. I mean I miss the babies something horrible but I am so done with lies. But I also feel guilty because what if he is still hurting her. A couple of her friends let me know how she and the kids are doing. And now that she isnāt pregnant I know she could kick his butt in a fight. I feel like I have abandoned her but she is the one who said no contact.
Iām I wrong for wanting no contact as a parent?
submitted by Icy-Text-9833 to nocontact [link] [comments]
I, (50f) have two kids; daughter (19) and son (18). My daughter has always been difficult. She would blame her brother for things she did, fight with him endlessly, lied continuously to me, stole from family and stores and was a hard teen to raise. She began seeing a boy (21m) 3 years ago and honestly I didnāt care for him from the start. He was rude, intitled, zero respect and already had quite the legal record.
My daughter ended up pregnant by him about 1 month into their relationship she was 16 he was 18. They lied to me and told me he was 16. They also lied about the pregnancy. She really didnāt get a pregnant belly and anytime I mentioned she was gaining some weight and could she possibly be pregnant she would accuse me of fat shaming her and being rude just for asking. Fast forward a few months and she said she was staying at her best friends for the weekend. Her friends mom even backed this story and lied to me saying, yes she is with us. When in fact she was at boyfriends recently acquired apartment ( I had no idea about and was told he lived with his grandparents). She went into labor that weekend, I still had no idea she was pregnant. When she finally called to say she was at the hospital and had a baby she insisted she had no idea she was pregnant and it was a suprise to all of them. I didnāt really buy that but didnāt argue, none of it mattered. She had a new baby and baby needed taken care of. With her story of not knowing I immediately went shopping. Bought everything you would need for a new baby. She let me know she was moving in with BF and would be raising the baby with him. When I dropped off the baby gear (literally an F250 truck load) to the apartment I notice quite a few items were already in place for a new baby, and realized they knew and had already gotten some stuff. None of that really mattered to me, I was a grandmother now and the howās and whyās werenāt changeable so I just moved on. I tried really hard to accept her BF and invited him into our little family. He was always rude making snide comments about my son and their father. Father took his life a month before baby was born, whole other story. He would say how much better he was and would never leave his family, just a little turd. He wouldnāt let her visit without him. I couldnāt even talk to her on the phone without him listening and answering for her. He seemed extremely controlling and jealous of any relationship she had, even with her brother and I.
This kid could never hold a job for more than a month, sat around playing video games, didnāt help with baby, didnāt clean or cook. Just a waste of space, smoking weed and doing nothing. I tried not to say anything but the look on my face was telling whenever she would talk about him to me. They eventually got behind and lost their apartment and refused to move in with me because I wouldnāt allow him to stay, just her and the baby.
They were living in their cars and couch surfing. She had very little contact with me durning this time. At one point a friend of theirs called me to tell me BF was being abusive and I drove to where they were living to see if she would come home with me and leave an abusive relationship. She refused, actually became very angry I would even butt in to their relationship like that. I honestly just wanted my babygirl, my first born safe and not hurt. A little time goes by and eventually she reached out and I help her get into an apartment, he wasnāt on the lease. A couple months go by she tells me she is 5 months with number two. I am less than thrilled but it is what it is and I am just happy she is in an apartment.
Then, I get a phone call. She was just taken to the hospital because BF hit her in her pregnant belly and baby wasnāt moving. (Baby is fine).
Cops were called he is taken to jail. There was apparently an incident before this where he gave her a black eye. The police were called then but he ran and they didnāt find him but there was still a report filed. I was never told of the black eye story till later.
The time he is in jail (3 months), she is at my house daily. I am helping her with the baby and her pregnancy. I go to doctors appointments was even in her labor room. Things were actually good between us and her and her brother were getting along great. Brother is an amazing uncle and loves his niece to death. Buys her anything she wants and they are so close. She tells me she is done with BF, has a restraining order. Is moving forward and sees how in 3 short months her life is actually improving.
But sure enough as soon as he is released (2 felony charges) she takes him right back. She lies to me saying she wonāt and isnāt but I donāt believe her at all. So I drive to her place and he is there. She screams at me to mind my own business and if she wants him itās not up to me. Again I have been there everyday with both babyās. Helping her and getting a chance to know my grandkids. At this point am very attached to my little angels and extremely frightened for her safety . She tells me, If I canāt get over the fact she will be with BF, then she never wants to see me again. Iām crushed but at the same time I am done. Done with all the lies, done with being told I canāt see the kids. With baby number one I have gotten to see her just a handful of times until the three months BF was in jail. Done with being treated like crap from my daughter. I feel like she was just using me while he was in jail. So I say fine.
That was in march. I havenāt spoken to her since. She hasnāt reached out at all and even changed her number. I feel guilt because I didnāt really fight the no contact. I mean I miss the babies something horrible but I am so done with lies. But I also feel guilty because what if he is still hurting her. A couple of her friends let me know how she and the kids are doing. And now that she isnāt pregnant I know she could kick his butt in a fight. I feel like I have abandoned her but she is the one who said no contact.
Iām I wrong for wanting no contact as a parent?
2024.05.15 00:31 johnrushx Just reached $300k ARR & 130,000 users. Here is how:
Today is a very special day for me.
Unicorn Platform is at $300,000 ARR!
I bought it two years ago for $800k with 40k users.
After having one bad year after the purchase, the next year, I managed to grow it to 128,328 users, who built their Websites, Directories, Job Boards, Launchpads, and landing pages for their SaaS, Personal, App, Course, or Podcast.
How I got there (last 12 months):
1. Redesign.
I went through 1000+ support tickets one by one to 100 frequent requests.
At first, I wanted to start fixing them, but it'd taken us a year. I slept on this idea for a few weeks and realized that half of these may be solved by changing our entire UX from page-based to canvas-based. Like Notion, where there are no pages. It's only a canvas with a page, and everything else comes in popups.
It just erased 80% of the tasks from the backlog.
Then we tackled the remaining 20%(not all ofc, still working on it).
It reduced churn from double-digit to single-digit.
2. SEO.
I knew very little about SEO a year ago, so I had to learn a lot from scratch. Instead of implementing just one strategy, I went on to try pretty much all of them at once
I saw traffic from directories 2 years ago on my other project(marsx). So it pushed really hard on listing on all directories for Unicorn Platform too. back then, most directories were not so popular yet, so I was kinda lucky to list there early and as they went viral, I got really good share of that traffic too.
4. Product Hunt.
We launched there in July. If you win the product hunt, there is a very long aftershock. You end up in newsletters and blog articles. We took 2nd place, but it was a very busy day. We scored over 1000 upvotes, so we got pretty good traffic and results.
5. Talking to users. Helping them.
I sent an email to every paid user asking for feedback and starting a discussion. I talked to at least 300 of them. It helped me figure out some low-hanging fixes I could do to keep them, and I also had a very strong network effect afterward. Many new users would tell me they got a recommendation from their friend.
Eventually, I started simply helping out all my users every day(I still spend at least an hour a day). For free. With my feedback on everything they ask, tips, and advice. I even connected one guy who was raising a round to an investor.
6. Social Media.
I shared all my stepsānot just MRRs but my actual steps on how I got there and what I did. Many of such posts went viral and helped other makers grow their products. This led to X becoming the top 4 traffic source for sign-ups.
7. Traffic from my directories & products.
I have 24 products in total.
So my other 23 products drive traffic to this one via links in the footer and banners, and sometimes I recommend it in an email. About 30% of the traffic comes this way.
Also, I have over 20 directories, some of which are very successful, and they drive good traffic, too. I had a gut feeling about directories 3 years ago. But my friends kept saying, "Directories are out of hype by now..".
So, I gave up on the idea until November, when I launched the gpt directory, which went viral with millions of visits. After that, I built a few new directories every month.
8. Word of Mouth.
I track this via social media mentions, and it's my most important metric. It's the one in a pair with SEO that leads to PMF. In Jan last year, I was pretty sad to see that the viral "best landing page builders" posts on the internet would never have Unicorn Platform in them.
But all that I did above helped, and we started to appear in many such posts. Today, 90% of the mentions come organically from people on the internet.
Thank you people. Thx for sharing. I work really hard to justify your trust.
9. Affiliate partners.
I've been running it for 8 months, and it works.
People bring sign-ups, and they eventually convert into paying users. Easy to setup. No effort at all once it's running.
10. Paid ads.
This one is short: I tried and failed. Most likely, I need to learn more about this, or maybe it never works.
11. Sponsoring other directories.
I sponsored a few directories to place my banner there.
I like it. There is traffic. The ROI seems good. I wanna do more of it. If you have a directory that's visited by busy founders, let me know, and I may sponsor you.
12. More templates and blocks.
I hired an amazing designer. He is the next Johnny Ive, trust me. We created many new templates and components.
Now, we're working on a new update that will 10x the power of Unicorn when it comes to visual stuff. Once this is out, you'll forget what webflow and framer are.
Imagine getting similar power with 10x less time than is needed and 20x easier UX.
13. Cross promo.
We partnered with Senja by adding their testimonial block to our third-party blocks. Now, Unicorn users can add Senja blocks with just a few clicks. It's so powerful that users love it and use it. We drove traffic to Senja, and they drove some traffic to us by posting on social media about this integration. We may do more, for example, sending an email to all our users about Senja, and Senja sends an email to all their users about a Unicorn.
I have many more such collaborations coming. The next one is RapidForms. Users will be able to add very advanced forms with multiple steps and even payment steps.
Launching it next week.
If you think your product fits in, too, let me know.
We both will grow our userbase by doing these collabs.
That's it.
I may have missed some details.
Just ask me in replies, and I'll answer.
P.S.I don't read DMs here, only on X or Linkedin.
submitted by johnrushx to Entrepreneur [link] [comments]
Unicorn Platform is at $300,000 ARR!
I bought it two years ago for $800k with 40k users.
After having one bad year after the purchase, the next year, I managed to grow it to 128,328 users, who built their Websites, Directories, Job Boards, Launchpads, and landing pages for their SaaS, Personal, App, Course, or Podcast.
How I got there (last 12 months):
1. Redesign.
I went through 1000+ support tickets one by one to 100 frequent requests.
At first, I wanted to start fixing them, but it'd taken us a year. I slept on this idea for a few weeks and realized that half of these may be solved by changing our entire UX from page-based to canvas-based. Like Notion, where there are no pages. It's only a canvas with a page, and everything else comes in popups.
It just erased 80% of the tasks from the backlog.
Then we tackled the remaining 20%(not all ofc, still working on it).
It reduced churn from double-digit to single-digit.
2. SEO.
I knew very little about SEO a year ago, so I had to learn a lot from scratch. Instead of implementing just one strategy, I went on to try pretty much all of them at once
- looked at existing keywords I rank for optimized pages for that to win even more traffic
- looked at competitors and created articles for the same keywords
- worked hard on domain rating, reached almost 80
- half of my pages weren't indexed, I used an indexing tool
- created lots of articles for nonrelated topics for the same audience
I saw traffic from directories 2 years ago on my other project(marsx). So it pushed really hard on listing on all directories for Unicorn Platform too. back then, most directories were not so popular yet, so I was kinda lucky to list there early and as they went viral, I got really good share of that traffic too.
4. Product Hunt.
We launched there in July. If you win the product hunt, there is a very long aftershock. You end up in newsletters and blog articles. We took 2nd place, but it was a very busy day. We scored over 1000 upvotes, so we got pretty good traffic and results.
5. Talking to users. Helping them.
I sent an email to every paid user asking for feedback and starting a discussion. I talked to at least 300 of them. It helped me figure out some low-hanging fixes I could do to keep them, and I also had a very strong network effect afterward. Many new users would tell me they got a recommendation from their friend.
Eventually, I started simply helping out all my users every day(I still spend at least an hour a day). For free. With my feedback on everything they ask, tips, and advice. I even connected one guy who was raising a round to an investor.
6. Social Media.
I shared all my stepsānot just MRRs but my actual steps on how I got there and what I did. Many of such posts went viral and helped other makers grow their products. This led to X becoming the top 4 traffic source for sign-ups.
7. Traffic from my directories & products.
I have 24 products in total.
So my other 23 products drive traffic to this one via links in the footer and banners, and sometimes I recommend it in an email. About 30% of the traffic comes this way.
Also, I have over 20 directories, some of which are very successful, and they drive good traffic, too. I had a gut feeling about directories 3 years ago. But my friends kept saying, "Directories are out of hype by now..".
So, I gave up on the idea until November, when I launched the gpt directory, which went viral with millions of visits. After that, I built a few new directories every month.
8. Word of Mouth.
I track this via social media mentions, and it's my most important metric. It's the one in a pair with SEO that leads to PMF. In Jan last year, I was pretty sad to see that the viral "best landing page builders" posts on the internet would never have Unicorn Platform in them.
But all that I did above helped, and we started to appear in many such posts. Today, 90% of the mentions come organically from people on the internet.
Thank you people. Thx for sharing. I work really hard to justify your trust.
9. Affiliate partners.
I've been running it for 8 months, and it works.
People bring sign-ups, and they eventually convert into paying users. Easy to setup. No effort at all once it's running.
10. Paid ads.
This one is short: I tried and failed. Most likely, I need to learn more about this, or maybe it never works.
11. Sponsoring other directories.
I sponsored a few directories to place my banner there.
I like it. There is traffic. The ROI seems good. I wanna do more of it. If you have a directory that's visited by busy founders, let me know, and I may sponsor you.
12. More templates and blocks.
I hired an amazing designer. He is the next Johnny Ive, trust me. We created many new templates and components.
Now, we're working on a new update that will 10x the power of Unicorn when it comes to visual stuff. Once this is out, you'll forget what webflow and framer are.
Imagine getting similar power with 10x less time than is needed and 20x easier UX.
13. Cross promo.
We partnered with Senja by adding their testimonial block to our third-party blocks. Now, Unicorn users can add Senja blocks with just a few clicks. It's so powerful that users love it and use it. We drove traffic to Senja, and they drove some traffic to us by posting on social media about this integration. We may do more, for example, sending an email to all our users about Senja, and Senja sends an email to all their users about a Unicorn.
I have many more such collaborations coming. The next one is RapidForms. Users will be able to add very advanced forms with multiple steps and even payment steps.
Launching it next week.
If you think your product fits in, too, let me know.
We both will grow our userbase by doing these collabs.
That's it.
I may have missed some details.
Just ask me in replies, and I'll answer.
P.S.I don't read DMs here, only on X or Linkedin.
2024.05.15 00:31 girrlwithnojob Canāt get him out of my head
Iām sorry if this topic is irrelevant to this subreddit but Iām only writing it here cos I donāt have anyone to talk about it. So the deal is that thereās this guy in my university heās 1 year senior to me and i never really noticed him until one day while he was having a conversation with my other classmates he looked at me and said something nice about me out of nowhere, since then, I canāt get that moment and him out of my head. Iāve caught him staring at me a few times and he has asked me my name a few times and thatās the only interaction Iāve had with him. It didnāt even mean anything but i still canāt stop thinking about him heās always there in my thoughts and itās really starting to bother me and i want him out of my head. i keep telling myself to not think about him but I canāt help it. Iāve never had a man get stuck in my head like this ever before I really need help. Itās been 2 months and i also had a vacation gap of 20 days in between and I thought maybe not seeing him everyday will help me forget him but it didnāt š«. If anyone of you has experienced something similar please tell me how did you deal with it?
submitted by girrlwithnojob to pakistan [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 00:30 HArgHorp I received advice that I shouldnāt play for the first time my Senior Year
Hello,
So Iāve always been interested in Football and love watching it and playing Video Games. I had a bit of experience in Late Elementary School but I broke my arm and didnāt play again.
Iām going to be graduating in 2025, so in a few months I will be a Senior. I have been seriously considering it and had even been asked multiple times by 2 coaches to go play on the Football team. Keep in mind I havenāt played since Elementary School and it will be my first and only year of HS football.
I signed up for it, got my physical down, and got my summer practice schedule sent to my boss. Our practices start in the summer a little bit after School gets out soon. Iām nervous because Iāve heard and seen that Football and Football practice is very tough and hard.
I just got told today by my father that a long friend of his who had coached football for a very long time and had sons in football approached him (and my dadās GF) and said that I really shouldnāt play FB considering it would be my only year of Football and he seemed genuinely worried for my safety and was very adamant about me not playing as I could get hurt (he had a son who got hurt in FB too and had to get surgery and has permanent effects from it)
Not just my father, but other people too have been telling me to really consider quitting before the practice season starts since I still have time. They say how since itās my only year of HS football that Iām most than likely going to get hurt and itās going to be very serious and all of them are urging me to quit.
I am athletic and pretty strong as I work out, and my school is considerably small, especially football wise. Iāve been thinking about what they said and Iām on the ropes, I really would feel horrible commiting to do this and signing up and then quitting before practice in the summer starts soon. I feel like I would regret not playing as an adult because you can only play in HS once. And I feel like I will get a lot of flak from the coaches too for quitting, especially after they have been urging me to play and saying I shouldnāt worry about being hurt and make my own decisions. How should I even tell them Iām quitting if I make that decision? Im already quitting Track for my Senior year so now I wonāt have any sports to playā¦ It sounds like that Ex Coach will come talk to me soon in person too.
What do you think? How should I go about this?
TLDR: Family and even an Ex Football Coach are telling me to consider quitting playing Football my first and only year of HS Football in my SR Year due to safety concerns
submitted by HArgHorp to highschoolfootball [link] [comments]
So Iāve always been interested in Football and love watching it and playing Video Games. I had a bit of experience in Late Elementary School but I broke my arm and didnāt play again.
Iām going to be graduating in 2025, so in a few months I will be a Senior. I have been seriously considering it and had even been asked multiple times by 2 coaches to go play on the Football team. Keep in mind I havenāt played since Elementary School and it will be my first and only year of HS football.
I signed up for it, got my physical down, and got my summer practice schedule sent to my boss. Our practices start in the summer a little bit after School gets out soon. Iām nervous because Iāve heard and seen that Football and Football practice is very tough and hard.
I just got told today by my father that a long friend of his who had coached football for a very long time and had sons in football approached him (and my dadās GF) and said that I really shouldnāt play FB considering it would be my only year of Football and he seemed genuinely worried for my safety and was very adamant about me not playing as I could get hurt (he had a son who got hurt in FB too and had to get surgery and has permanent effects from it)
Not just my father, but other people too have been telling me to really consider quitting before the practice season starts since I still have time. They say how since itās my only year of HS football that Iām most than likely going to get hurt and itās going to be very serious and all of them are urging me to quit.
I am athletic and pretty strong as I work out, and my school is considerably small, especially football wise. Iāve been thinking about what they said and Iām on the ropes, I really would feel horrible commiting to do this and signing up and then quitting before practice in the summer starts soon. I feel like I would regret not playing as an adult because you can only play in HS once. And I feel like I will get a lot of flak from the coaches too for quitting, especially after they have been urging me to play and saying I shouldnāt worry about being hurt and make my own decisions. How should I even tell them Iām quitting if I make that decision? Im already quitting Track for my Senior year so now I wonāt have any sports to playā¦ It sounds like that Ex Coach will come talk to me soon in person too.
What do you think? How should I go about this?
TLDR: Family and even an Ex Football Coach are telling me to consider quitting playing Football my first and only year of HS Football in my SR Year due to safety concerns
2024.05.15 00:30 Accomplished_Taro305 AITAH for not doing more to control my 3 y/o on a flight?
I was on a flight this afternoon with my three year old daughter who, mostly, was really well behaved. She stayed in her seat and quietly played on a tablet while eating the occasional snack. Half way through the roughly 2.5 hour flight the man seated in front of her turned around and asked me to have her stop kicking his seat. It was clear he was already pretty frustrated with the situation which I had not noticed so I talked to her about it. We discussed how when she touches the seat in front of her the person can feel it and how that is rude behavior as it makes them uncomfortable.
Iām on high alert for any kicking now which never comes, but it quickly becomes apparent that my daughter is exactly the right height to keep bumping the seat in front of her. The seat is too long for her to bend her legs so they stick straight out and end within an inch of the seat in front of her. Whenever she wiggles or adjusts how sheās sitting she bumps the seat. I talk to her again about how itās disruptive to touch the seat in front of her. I move her legs to angle towards my middle seat. I ask her if she wants to sit in my lap. I have her sit criss-cross-applesauce, but nothing lasts for long and sheās back with her legs poking forward sitting in her own seat. For the next 30 minutes I get nothing but dirty looks and scowls from the seat ahead as I talk to my daughter over and over again any time she even looks like she might touch the seat. She inevitably rests her feet on the back of the seat again and I get an angry āAre you kidding me? Make her stopā from the guy in front. I tell him Iām trying, but sheās a kid and her legs stick out right into the back of the seat. He can hear me trying. Iām not sure what else he expected me to do. For any parents out there, I welcome pro tips.
Now here is where I start to loose some sympathy. As the plane gets closer to our destination the flight attendant comes around asking folks to put their seats in the upright position and this guyās seat moves up. He had been reclining back and then complaining about her feet bumping his seat?!
The plane lands and weāre in the cheap seats waaaay in the back so itās taking a while to unload. I have my headphones in and am packing up all of our gear while we wait. My daughter stands up and at some point while looking out the window and/or playing with the in-headrest touch screen display touches the manās long hair. Iām packing and donāt see. He loses it and turns to me shouting āAre you kidding me?!ā. Iām lost at this point as I didnāt see what happened and itās clearly not about kicking his seat as sheās standing up. With prompting he tells me about her touching his hair. Exasperated I ask if he said anything to her before yelling at me. Iām not expecting much, but wouldnāt most people say something like āplease donāt touch meā and then tell the parent. I canāt correct behavior I donāt see. He gets set off and starts into itās not his job to parent my kid. I need to get her under control. Then proceeds to tell me what a bad parent Iām being.
AITAH? Should I have been doing more?
submitted by Accomplished_Taro305 to AITAH [link] [comments]
Iām on high alert for any kicking now which never comes, but it quickly becomes apparent that my daughter is exactly the right height to keep bumping the seat in front of her. The seat is too long for her to bend her legs so they stick straight out and end within an inch of the seat in front of her. Whenever she wiggles or adjusts how sheās sitting she bumps the seat. I talk to her again about how itās disruptive to touch the seat in front of her. I move her legs to angle towards my middle seat. I ask her if she wants to sit in my lap. I have her sit criss-cross-applesauce, but nothing lasts for long and sheās back with her legs poking forward sitting in her own seat. For the next 30 minutes I get nothing but dirty looks and scowls from the seat ahead as I talk to my daughter over and over again any time she even looks like she might touch the seat. She inevitably rests her feet on the back of the seat again and I get an angry āAre you kidding me? Make her stopā from the guy in front. I tell him Iām trying, but sheās a kid and her legs stick out right into the back of the seat. He can hear me trying. Iām not sure what else he expected me to do. For any parents out there, I welcome pro tips.
Now here is where I start to loose some sympathy. As the plane gets closer to our destination the flight attendant comes around asking folks to put their seats in the upright position and this guyās seat moves up. He had been reclining back and then complaining about her feet bumping his seat?!
The plane lands and weāre in the cheap seats waaaay in the back so itās taking a while to unload. I have my headphones in and am packing up all of our gear while we wait. My daughter stands up and at some point while looking out the window and/or playing with the in-headrest touch screen display touches the manās long hair. Iām packing and donāt see. He loses it and turns to me shouting āAre you kidding me?!ā. Iām lost at this point as I didnāt see what happened and itās clearly not about kicking his seat as sheās standing up. With prompting he tells me about her touching his hair. Exasperated I ask if he said anything to her before yelling at me. Iām not expecting much, but wouldnāt most people say something like āplease donāt touch meā and then tell the parent. I canāt correct behavior I donāt see. He gets set off and starts into itās not his job to parent my kid. I need to get her under control. Then proceeds to tell me what a bad parent Iām being.
AITAH? Should I have been doing more?
2024.05.15 00:30 Affectionate_Coat608 I (17 M) am considering breaking up with my partner (18 M) and am lost.
I (17 M) and my partner (18M) have a pretty good relationship. Heās really caring and soft spoken, and weāve been together for almost two years. I really like him, but I am struggling because of his anger issues. It seems like most days there is just an aura of angler surrounding him, and he seems pissed off more than not. Heāll deny heās upset, even when he clearly is, and then confide that he was upset when I asked.
This wouldnāt be as much of a deal if I didnāt have CPTSD due to my father emotionally abusing me throughout my childhood (donāt worry, I cut contact with him two years ago). My partner exudes that same aura of anger as he did, and itās really triggering to be around. It makes me on edge and has been severely affecting my mental health for some time now. Just to remind you, heās not mad here and there, it is day in day out. I hate to see him upset, but I am also constantly in a state of guardedness because of his anger.
I have talked with him about it, but it isnāt getting better. He started seeing the school councilor a couple months ago, and there hasnāt been improvement.
Iām also stressed because I want to do a semester of abroad studies offered by the college we will be attending, but he is against the idea because I wouldnāt be close so he could ākeep an eye on meā and kept fussing about if something happened to me.
Now, I would like to note that we live in rural America, and we are both queer trans men, and Iāve looked heavily into immigration due to the political turmoil in America right now, especially concerning our rights. I have a decent shot at Scottish citizenship through ancestry, and have considered giving it a go to see if Iād qualify due to a ājust in caseā scenario. My boyfriend pushed against this plan because heās afraid of losing me. I donāt know what to do. He keeps saying that heās never met anyone like me before and doesnāt want me to move on without him.
I think some of this comes from the fact that really insecure, as Iām supposedly the more āconventionally attractiveā one in the relationship (thin, cis passing, etc), and whenever Iām talking to anyone whoās not one of the friends TM (we have a very close friend group, which would further complicate things if we broke up) he gets really defensive at people trying to āmake passes at meā, which does happen from time to time. Heās constantly worried about people āusing meā or āabusing my nicenessā but Iāll be having a normal conversation and sometimes heāll just seem like a guard dog. This was especially prevalent when we went on a trip funded by the school and people were asking for my number, and he just kind of lurked there. Iām also autistic and am not the best at recognizing when people are flirting with me, so its hard to tell if people are just being nice- but it also made me feel a bit uncomfortable because it felt a bit controlling, like, it seems like I canāt make new friends because they might be trying to hit on me. He also confessed that one of my old friends (no longer my friend due to unrelated reasons) made him jealous and angry simply because I was closer with him. Said friend never rubbed it in his face, but my bf was mad that I had other friends. He has since said that his mindset was toxic, but it someways I feel like it never left.
Iām stressed because weāre going on a trip abroad with my family soon and I donāt want to cause turmoil. I love him a lot, we really click on things like humour and interests, but I feel like heās trying to tie me down, which is stressful, not to mention the whole anger issue thing, and Iām really lost. I also know I might lose friends if so broke up with him, since weāre really tight knit.
Some back up information is that he liked me first and I was pressured into dating him, but then actually started to develop feelings for him. Sometimes I wonder if Iām just resentful for how our relationship started.
Any suggestions?
(Sorry for poor formatting- Iām on mobile.)
submitted by Affectionate_Coat608 to teenrelationships [link] [comments]
This wouldnāt be as much of a deal if I didnāt have CPTSD due to my father emotionally abusing me throughout my childhood (donāt worry, I cut contact with him two years ago). My partner exudes that same aura of anger as he did, and itās really triggering to be around. It makes me on edge and has been severely affecting my mental health for some time now. Just to remind you, heās not mad here and there, it is day in day out. I hate to see him upset, but I am also constantly in a state of guardedness because of his anger.
I have talked with him about it, but it isnāt getting better. He started seeing the school councilor a couple months ago, and there hasnāt been improvement.
Iām also stressed because I want to do a semester of abroad studies offered by the college we will be attending, but he is against the idea because I wouldnāt be close so he could ākeep an eye on meā and kept fussing about if something happened to me.
Now, I would like to note that we live in rural America, and we are both queer trans men, and Iāve looked heavily into immigration due to the political turmoil in America right now, especially concerning our rights. I have a decent shot at Scottish citizenship through ancestry, and have considered giving it a go to see if Iād qualify due to a ājust in caseā scenario. My boyfriend pushed against this plan because heās afraid of losing me. I donāt know what to do. He keeps saying that heās never met anyone like me before and doesnāt want me to move on without him.
I think some of this comes from the fact that really insecure, as Iām supposedly the more āconventionally attractiveā one in the relationship (thin, cis passing, etc), and whenever Iām talking to anyone whoās not one of the friends TM (we have a very close friend group, which would further complicate things if we broke up) he gets really defensive at people trying to āmake passes at meā, which does happen from time to time. Heās constantly worried about people āusing meā or āabusing my nicenessā but Iāll be having a normal conversation and sometimes heāll just seem like a guard dog. This was especially prevalent when we went on a trip funded by the school and people were asking for my number, and he just kind of lurked there. Iām also autistic and am not the best at recognizing when people are flirting with me, so its hard to tell if people are just being nice- but it also made me feel a bit uncomfortable because it felt a bit controlling, like, it seems like I canāt make new friends because they might be trying to hit on me. He also confessed that one of my old friends (no longer my friend due to unrelated reasons) made him jealous and angry simply because I was closer with him. Said friend never rubbed it in his face, but my bf was mad that I had other friends. He has since said that his mindset was toxic, but it someways I feel like it never left.
Iām stressed because weāre going on a trip abroad with my family soon and I donāt want to cause turmoil. I love him a lot, we really click on things like humour and interests, but I feel like heās trying to tie me down, which is stressful, not to mention the whole anger issue thing, and Iām really lost. I also know I might lose friends if so broke up with him, since weāre really tight knit.
Some back up information is that he liked me first and I was pressured into dating him, but then actually started to develop feelings for him. Sometimes I wonder if Iām just resentful for how our relationship started.
Any suggestions?
(Sorry for poor formatting- Iām on mobile.)
2024.05.15 00:29 Lothran New ASL - I see why everyone complains on this sub.
I am in my 9th week of training and oh myā¦. the things I have seenā¦ from management.
I have two ASLs in my store and they are both horrible managers. They have been with the company for a combined 36ish years and no one can tell them anything without an hour long argument. They have zero people skills and I spend an inordinate amount of my day playing damage control and cleaning up their messes.
The only thing they have ātrainedā me on is how to half-ass the metrics so we have a high compliance score and they get large bonuses. Only the actual department heads and regular associates have shown me how to actually do the job and management treats them like shit. The ASLs have also shown me how to sit in an office all day and talk shit about everyone but smile and act like they care when someone is around. They constantly talk down to me and treat me like I have never managed before, even though I have significantly more experience than they do. They told me that my PMP certification was ājust some sort of training on processes and not important at allā.
Iām a very Team oriented manager and spend all of my days on the floor stocking produce, dairy or helping in the deli or bakery. I make it a point to check in on each department 3-4 times a day to see what they need and either I get it for them or I do it myself. (The ASLs said Iām going to spoil them if I keep helping)
I honestly donāt know how anyone with any amount of time sticks with it.
To all those still employed with Kroger and dealing with this day in and day out, my hat is off to you and you deserve the utmost respect.
/end rant
submitted by Lothran to kroger [link] [comments]
I have two ASLs in my store and they are both horrible managers. They have been with the company for a combined 36ish years and no one can tell them anything without an hour long argument. They have zero people skills and I spend an inordinate amount of my day playing damage control and cleaning up their messes.
The only thing they have ātrainedā me on is how to half-ass the metrics so we have a high compliance score and they get large bonuses. Only the actual department heads and regular associates have shown me how to actually do the job and management treats them like shit. The ASLs have also shown me how to sit in an office all day and talk shit about everyone but smile and act like they care when someone is around. They constantly talk down to me and treat me like I have never managed before, even though I have significantly more experience than they do. They told me that my PMP certification was ājust some sort of training on processes and not important at allā.
Iām a very Team oriented manager and spend all of my days on the floor stocking produce, dairy or helping in the deli or bakery. I make it a point to check in on each department 3-4 times a day to see what they need and either I get it for them or I do it myself. (The ASLs said Iām going to spoil them if I keep helping)
I honestly donāt know how anyone with any amount of time sticks with it.
To all those still employed with Kroger and dealing with this day in and day out, my hat is off to you and you deserve the utmost respect.
/end rant
2024.05.15 00:29 kuli-y My parents want me to stop taking adderall cause they think itās harmful. They are severely misinformed about it.
My dad likened it to the opioid crisis when a ton of people got addicted to them. They think I can be cured of adhd if I eat, exercise, and sleep better. They think itāll destroy me or something. But when I wasnāt medicated I was drinking two monster energies a day just to get by. When I wasnāt medicated I barely brushed my teeth and wanted to stay in bed all day. When I wasnāt medicated my mom nagged at me about all the things that adderall gives me the push to do. I took a week long break from it after graduation and rotted in bed all day. When I wasnāt medicated I was about to fail out of college. I was an absolute mess.
They donāt understand it, and they donāt think I should be taking it. They donāt understand that itās a chemical imbalance that canāt be ācured.ā I have a drug test coming up for a new job, and theyāve made that into an opportunity to bitch about adderall and how I shouldnāt take it cause itāll show up on the drug test as an amphetimine.
I donāt know what to tell them because theyāre listening to people from church who insist that adderall is bad and I should just eat better and exercise. My mom wishes āthere was something else to help.ā She also said itās not like blood pressure or heart medication. She keeps asking me if I feel better when I take a break from it now because Iāve been taking it for a couple years. But I feel the exact same way as I did before I started taking it. Because to them if itās not a physical issue then you just need to work harder. Itās just so frustrating to hear them convince me to stop taking it. Iām not confrontational at all but they want to talk to me about it tonight and I know Iām going to get upset.
I just donāt know what to say to them to get them to stop bothering me about it. Iām going to get upset because I have a lot of shame around being unable to function without it.
submitted by kuli-y to adhdwomen [link] [comments]
They donāt understand it, and they donāt think I should be taking it. They donāt understand that itās a chemical imbalance that canāt be ācured.ā I have a drug test coming up for a new job, and theyāve made that into an opportunity to bitch about adderall and how I shouldnāt take it cause itāll show up on the drug test as an amphetimine.
I donāt know what to tell them because theyāre listening to people from church who insist that adderall is bad and I should just eat better and exercise. My mom wishes āthere was something else to help.ā She also said itās not like blood pressure or heart medication. She keeps asking me if I feel better when I take a break from it now because Iāve been taking it for a couple years. But I feel the exact same way as I did before I started taking it. Because to them if itās not a physical issue then you just need to work harder. Itās just so frustrating to hear them convince me to stop taking it. Iām not confrontational at all but they want to talk to me about it tonight and I know Iām going to get upset.
I just donāt know what to say to them to get them to stop bothering me about it. Iām going to get upset because I have a lot of shame around being unable to function without it.
2024.05.15 00:29 throwRA347266 My (35F) friend (44M) has suddenly stopped contacting me. I'm worried about him. How do I get in touch with him?
Hi all.
I (35F) have been friends with "Dave" (44M) for about 8 years now. We met at work and over the years became pretty good friends. About two years ago Dave's wife left him for another guy and he was devastated. I was there with him the whole time, helped him move into his own place. We became especially close during this time, I'd visit often and we'd hang out, drink, play card games, watch shit YouTube, etc or head into town and go to gigs. When he was sick, I'd come round with a little care package and food for him. He's also been there for me when I needed some support after dealing with some trauma.
About a year ago Dave began to distance himself from me. When I finally got him to talk about it (he isn't the best at being able to actually communicate when emotions are involved) he admitted that he was conflicted about how he felt for me. He said he didn't want to date me, still wasn't over his ex (understandably). To be clear, I didn't want to date him either. It wasn't something I saw as a possibility. He said he just needed some time to sort his head out. I thanked him for his honesty and gave him space. He slowly made his way back into my life and things went back to normal, we were best buddies again.
Six months ago he left our place of work under some quite nasty circumstances. I cried when he told me, I listened when he needed to vent and I kept everything he told me in strictest confidence. On his last day I took him for a beer and asked whether we'd still be friends. He promised we would, that I meant a lot to him. And, sure enough, we continued to catch up. Mostly just through text but we did go for a beer once. Until four weeks ago.
We were in the middle of a text conversation, he was telling me about all the stuff he was doing around the house, I was telling him about a recent doctor's visit. Just chit chat. I asked if he'd like to catch up for a drink. No reply. No worries, I thought, sometimes he'll get busy (especially if he has his kids that week) and he won't reply til the next day. But then nothing. We were talking every second or third day before this point so four weeks is very unusual.
Two weeks later I sent another text like "Hey, hope you're doing good, know that you can talk to me if you need. Miss you heaps." Still nothing. I know he can tend to retreat if he's going through a hard time but never to the point where he'd outright ignore me. A day later I followed up with "Can you at least let me know if youre okay. I'm worried about you." Still. Nothing.
I tried to ring him last week, no answer. I tried again this morning, no answer.
Like, obviously I know he doesn't have to talk to me but if someone says they were worried about you would you not at least say "yeah, sorry I'm going through something, I don't want to talk about it but I'll reach out when I'm feeling better" or just ANYTHING. It's causing me so much anxiety. I wake up in the morning thinking about him.
It was just so abrupt. I want to check on him, make sure he's okay. How do I get in touch with him?
TL,DR: my buddy of eight years just suddenly stopped contacting me four weeks ago, when at the time we had been in regular (near daily) contact. I'm worried about him but don't know what to do to check on him.
submitted by throwRA347266 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I (35F) have been friends with "Dave" (44M) for about 8 years now. We met at work and over the years became pretty good friends. About two years ago Dave's wife left him for another guy and he was devastated. I was there with him the whole time, helped him move into his own place. We became especially close during this time, I'd visit often and we'd hang out, drink, play card games, watch shit YouTube, etc or head into town and go to gigs. When he was sick, I'd come round with a little care package and food for him. He's also been there for me when I needed some support after dealing with some trauma.
About a year ago Dave began to distance himself from me. When I finally got him to talk about it (he isn't the best at being able to actually communicate when emotions are involved) he admitted that he was conflicted about how he felt for me. He said he didn't want to date me, still wasn't over his ex (understandably). To be clear, I didn't want to date him either. It wasn't something I saw as a possibility. He said he just needed some time to sort his head out. I thanked him for his honesty and gave him space. He slowly made his way back into my life and things went back to normal, we were best buddies again.
Six months ago he left our place of work under some quite nasty circumstances. I cried when he told me, I listened when he needed to vent and I kept everything he told me in strictest confidence. On his last day I took him for a beer and asked whether we'd still be friends. He promised we would, that I meant a lot to him. And, sure enough, we continued to catch up. Mostly just through text but we did go for a beer once. Until four weeks ago.
We were in the middle of a text conversation, he was telling me about all the stuff he was doing around the house, I was telling him about a recent doctor's visit. Just chit chat. I asked if he'd like to catch up for a drink. No reply. No worries, I thought, sometimes he'll get busy (especially if he has his kids that week) and he won't reply til the next day. But then nothing. We were talking every second or third day before this point so four weeks is very unusual.
Two weeks later I sent another text like "Hey, hope you're doing good, know that you can talk to me if you need. Miss you heaps." Still nothing. I know he can tend to retreat if he's going through a hard time but never to the point where he'd outright ignore me. A day later I followed up with "Can you at least let me know if youre okay. I'm worried about you." Still. Nothing.
I tried to ring him last week, no answer. I tried again this morning, no answer.
Like, obviously I know he doesn't have to talk to me but if someone says they were worried about you would you not at least say "yeah, sorry I'm going through something, I don't want to talk about it but I'll reach out when I'm feeling better" or just ANYTHING. It's causing me so much anxiety. I wake up in the morning thinking about him.
It was just so abrupt. I want to check on him, make sure he's okay. How do I get in touch with him?
TL,DR: my buddy of eight years just suddenly stopped contacting me four weeks ago, when at the time we had been in regular (near daily) contact. I'm worried about him but don't know what to do to check on him.
2024.05.15 00:29 B-chPlease AITA for telling my mom she has to move out?
Iāll start this off where itās relevant. Me and my partner were looking to buy a house and when we found the one we wanted of course my mom wanted to do a walk through with us. So we did the walk through and she thought it was nice and even joked about the basement being all set up for a mother in-law suite. To which my husband replied we donāt have any intention of renting it out and we donāt know if we will need that space yet.
Later I was at her house visiting getting some help doing out taxes and she was on the phone then asked my about giving her landlord notice. I was busy I didnāt really hear her or know what she was asking and just said āya ya, give me a minute.ā And she walked away and I figured sheād ask me again after think it was about lunch or something. She never brought it up again but we had talked about it in the past and I always told her the same thing my husband had. We donāt plan on rent out the basement and we will probably need the space.
Fast-ward we just finish moving our stuff not even unpacked yet and she needs to move out cus sheās given her notice and of course I felt terrible saying āya yaā not know what I was saying yes to. I convinced my husband to let her move in and his wasnāt happy but we moved her into the basement. We did say a few rules not smoking in the house there is a detached heated garage for that. The upstairs was supposed to be our space. And donāt overstep boundaries or our parenting.
Thatās when all the issues started. My mom would make plans for me with little notice and monopolies my and my kids time. At first it was fine to get to spend time out with her and the kids but it became an issues when she wouldnāt respect my boundaries. Like I need more notice cus I do make plans with my husband to do family stuff or friends. Or I donāt want certain people around my kids and she would bring us there or invite them over. If I invited friends over sheād come upstairs and take over the conversation and not let me talk and try to bring them downstairs to sell them stuff sheās made. She never respected the upstairs was our space rule.
She would talk down to me in front of my kids why isnāt the house spotless. Why are there dishes in the sink etc.. she would complain about everything but never help. She would not listen if I told hethe kids no to something ex. Candy before dinner. Me: No you canāt have candy before dinner, maybe after. Her: They are only kids once let them have it. And would give it to them. They need to eat lunch but āoh she was on a diet.ā And so on
It got to the point where she would tell me she doesnāt have to listen to me cus sheās my mother. My kids started to throw fits and say I was mean and āthey wanted nana cus she gave them anything they wanted.ā Or āwhy do I have to listen to you when nana doesnāt have too?ā
One Christmas I was working to afford a better Christmas and help pay off the line of credit we needed for the house. We hosted the Christmas dinner and had family and friends and everyone helped out. I cooked all day and then took a nap while everyone else was enjoying dinner as I had to work the night and was already going to be running on fumes. When I got up to my surprise everyone was still there. They were helping put the food away and had made me a plate for work. When I got home the house was clean and I was relieved as I was exhausted and just wanted to get some sleep. My mom told me she did all the dishes for me and cleaned to kitchen.
I worked for a few months before and after Christmas and during this time my mom was chain smoking in the basement. Her bedroom right below ours and our kids rooms. Me and the kids have asthma and my husband has crippling migraines that helped encourage him to quit smoking years ago. I didnāt notice the smell unless I was down stairs but he noticed it immediately. Saying he canāt sleeping and his crippling migraines had come back and the house smelled like cigarettes smoke. I confronted my mother and she said no of course she would smoke in the house but all her stuff clothes, furniture, smells that way cus she use to smoke in the house at her old place. (Mind you she was living with us for months now, and some of her future was new and we only just started having a problem suddenly after months with no issues related to smoke/smell)
Me and my husband fought over this as I really didnāt want to believe she would smoke in the house. First off itās illegal here and second she knows off all our health issues. And you can get in trouble with child protective services if they thinking your smoking in the house which is considered endangering the health and safety of your children. And asthma can be considered the fault of the parents if they are smoking around them. You canāt even smoke in the car if a child is in the car with you
So my husband got a nicotine testing kit and when it finally came in we put it to use. The house was completely clean when we moved in. We found next to nothing upstairs but downstairs was a different story. My momās bedroom and kitchen being the worst. I was so mad that I decided I would look around to see if I could find an ashtray. Well I found it in her nightstand right beside the bedā¦. I was pissed. I can still remembered her fallling asleep with a cigarette in her hand on multiple occasions as a kid and how lucky we were that she never burned the house down back then
I confronted her when she got home and her instantly denied it till I showed her my proof and that I found her ashtray āyour husband didnāt want her there alwaysā was her response. I was floored. The whole time I stood up for her after confronting her the first time. she was lying saying āIām so sick, Iām not even smoking right now, Iām quitting.ā
He had bin upset at first but the first few months were great till all the issues started. But I quickly realized that no matter what I said Iād be wrong and she wouldnāt apologize. She had no remorse or sympathy not even when I mentioned the kids health or mine and my husbands. As she was my mother I felt it was my personal responsibility to hold her accountable for her actions we were going to give her till the spring as she is old but her response infuriated me.
She made it clear she didnāt have any level of respect for me or my husband and didnāt care about her grandchildrenās healthā¦. I told her she had till the end of the month to move. She was pissed. She wanted to die here and how could I pick my husband over her and allow him to force her to move and in a month no less. I told her it was my choice to only give her a month and that I couldnāt stand to look at her. And this was the straw that back the camelās back.
After that she avoided us and would hide in the basement when she wasnāt at work. A day or so later I woke up in the middle of the night to a noise only to find my mother in kitchen going through our cupboardsā¦. I asked her what the H she was doing in my kitchen in the middle of the night? After that I started double checking the door separating the basement from the upstairs was locked at night.
She didnāt want to move so naturally I helped her looked for a place. Did the walk throughs with her till she settled for a place and of course she complained the whole time. How could I do this to her, look at the house I was forcing her into. (She picked it) and it was the nicest one we looked at. In her price range. And it was still close enough to visit and come help her if she needed it.
She refused to pack so I ended up packing everything for her and as I was packing her things I kept coming across things she had stolen from us. A can opener, canned goods, cereal, shopping bags, a blanket she had knitted for the family for Christmas and other things she had got the kids among many random things she must have wanted. I was growing more upset as the days passed and I told my husband everything I had come across while packing her things each day. He told me not to bother taking anything back because she would probably forget she stole it and claim we were stoking her things. He said she could have anything she wanted and hopefully with time she would remember that we still gave her whatever she wanted and there might be hope to fix the relationship with her in the future.
We called a couple friends to help us move here. We even put the furniture in the rooms/spots she asked for them to be put and we them up. As for the boxes I was going to help her empty them and put everything away but the first night she refused to let me touch anything and I just ended up sitting there while she berated me. āYouāre a horrible daughter!ā āA horrible mother!ā āYouād let your own mother live in this dump!ā āWho going to take care of me now? I might as well just dieā āif I die itās because of what you put me throughā and those are only thing things a can remember
She keep my there in till 2 in the morning after that I said I couldnāt help her because I still had kids at home I had to get up with and she wouldnāt let me help anyway just berate me the whole time.
Me and my husband both agreed that we wouldnāt stop her from seeing the kids but she would have to respect our boundaries or we would have to put a stop to it. She refuses to see us or the kids. She refuses to apologize or admit to any wrong doing. She going around telling everyone Iām dead to her and take we took everything from her and we used her and abused her. We stopped talking to her all together and stopped trying to visit her.
submitted by B-chPlease to AITAH [link] [comments]
Later I was at her house visiting getting some help doing out taxes and she was on the phone then asked my about giving her landlord notice. I was busy I didnāt really hear her or know what she was asking and just said āya ya, give me a minute.ā And she walked away and I figured sheād ask me again after think it was about lunch or something. She never brought it up again but we had talked about it in the past and I always told her the same thing my husband had. We donāt plan on rent out the basement and we will probably need the space.
Fast-ward we just finish moving our stuff not even unpacked yet and she needs to move out cus sheās given her notice and of course I felt terrible saying āya yaā not know what I was saying yes to. I convinced my husband to let her move in and his wasnāt happy but we moved her into the basement. We did say a few rules not smoking in the house there is a detached heated garage for that. The upstairs was supposed to be our space. And donāt overstep boundaries or our parenting.
Thatās when all the issues started. My mom would make plans for me with little notice and monopolies my and my kids time. At first it was fine to get to spend time out with her and the kids but it became an issues when she wouldnāt respect my boundaries. Like I need more notice cus I do make plans with my husband to do family stuff or friends. Or I donāt want certain people around my kids and she would bring us there or invite them over. If I invited friends over sheād come upstairs and take over the conversation and not let me talk and try to bring them downstairs to sell them stuff sheās made. She never respected the upstairs was our space rule.
She would talk down to me in front of my kids why isnāt the house spotless. Why are there dishes in the sink etc.. she would complain about everything but never help. She would not listen if I told hethe kids no to something ex. Candy before dinner. Me: No you canāt have candy before dinner, maybe after. Her: They are only kids once let them have it. And would give it to them. They need to eat lunch but āoh she was on a diet.ā And so on
It got to the point where she would tell me she doesnāt have to listen to me cus sheās my mother. My kids started to throw fits and say I was mean and āthey wanted nana cus she gave them anything they wanted.ā Or āwhy do I have to listen to you when nana doesnāt have too?ā
One Christmas I was working to afford a better Christmas and help pay off the line of credit we needed for the house. We hosted the Christmas dinner and had family and friends and everyone helped out. I cooked all day and then took a nap while everyone else was enjoying dinner as I had to work the night and was already going to be running on fumes. When I got up to my surprise everyone was still there. They were helping put the food away and had made me a plate for work. When I got home the house was clean and I was relieved as I was exhausted and just wanted to get some sleep. My mom told me she did all the dishes for me and cleaned to kitchen.
I worked for a few months before and after Christmas and during this time my mom was chain smoking in the basement. Her bedroom right below ours and our kids rooms. Me and the kids have asthma and my husband has crippling migraines that helped encourage him to quit smoking years ago. I didnāt notice the smell unless I was down stairs but he noticed it immediately. Saying he canāt sleeping and his crippling migraines had come back and the house smelled like cigarettes smoke. I confronted my mother and she said no of course she would smoke in the house but all her stuff clothes, furniture, smells that way cus she use to smoke in the house at her old place. (Mind you she was living with us for months now, and some of her future was new and we only just started having a problem suddenly after months with no issues related to smoke/smell)
Me and my husband fought over this as I really didnāt want to believe she would smoke in the house. First off itās illegal here and second she knows off all our health issues. And you can get in trouble with child protective services if they thinking your smoking in the house which is considered endangering the health and safety of your children. And asthma can be considered the fault of the parents if they are smoking around them. You canāt even smoke in the car if a child is in the car with you
So my husband got a nicotine testing kit and when it finally came in we put it to use. The house was completely clean when we moved in. We found next to nothing upstairs but downstairs was a different story. My momās bedroom and kitchen being the worst. I was so mad that I decided I would look around to see if I could find an ashtray. Well I found it in her nightstand right beside the bedā¦. I was pissed. I can still remembered her fallling asleep with a cigarette in her hand on multiple occasions as a kid and how lucky we were that she never burned the house down back then
I confronted her when she got home and her instantly denied it till I showed her my proof and that I found her ashtray āyour husband didnāt want her there alwaysā was her response. I was floored. The whole time I stood up for her after confronting her the first time. she was lying saying āIām so sick, Iām not even smoking right now, Iām quitting.ā
He had bin upset at first but the first few months were great till all the issues started. But I quickly realized that no matter what I said Iād be wrong and she wouldnāt apologize. She had no remorse or sympathy not even when I mentioned the kids health or mine and my husbands. As she was my mother I felt it was my personal responsibility to hold her accountable for her actions we were going to give her till the spring as she is old but her response infuriated me.
She made it clear she didnāt have any level of respect for me or my husband and didnāt care about her grandchildrenās healthā¦. I told her she had till the end of the month to move. She was pissed. She wanted to die here and how could I pick my husband over her and allow him to force her to move and in a month no less. I told her it was my choice to only give her a month and that I couldnāt stand to look at her. And this was the straw that back the camelās back.
After that she avoided us and would hide in the basement when she wasnāt at work. A day or so later I woke up in the middle of the night to a noise only to find my mother in kitchen going through our cupboardsā¦. I asked her what the H she was doing in my kitchen in the middle of the night? After that I started double checking the door separating the basement from the upstairs was locked at night.
She didnāt want to move so naturally I helped her looked for a place. Did the walk throughs with her till she settled for a place and of course she complained the whole time. How could I do this to her, look at the house I was forcing her into. (She picked it) and it was the nicest one we looked at. In her price range. And it was still close enough to visit and come help her if she needed it.
She refused to pack so I ended up packing everything for her and as I was packing her things I kept coming across things she had stolen from us. A can opener, canned goods, cereal, shopping bags, a blanket she had knitted for the family for Christmas and other things she had got the kids among many random things she must have wanted. I was growing more upset as the days passed and I told my husband everything I had come across while packing her things each day. He told me not to bother taking anything back because she would probably forget she stole it and claim we were stoking her things. He said she could have anything she wanted and hopefully with time she would remember that we still gave her whatever she wanted and there might be hope to fix the relationship with her in the future.
We called a couple friends to help us move here. We even put the furniture in the rooms/spots she asked for them to be put and we them up. As for the boxes I was going to help her empty them and put everything away but the first night she refused to let me touch anything and I just ended up sitting there while she berated me. āYouāre a horrible daughter!ā āA horrible mother!ā āYouād let your own mother live in this dump!ā āWho going to take care of me now? I might as well just dieā āif I die itās because of what you put me throughā and those are only thing things a can remember
She keep my there in till 2 in the morning after that I said I couldnāt help her because I still had kids at home I had to get up with and she wouldnāt let me help anyway just berate me the whole time.
Me and my husband both agreed that we wouldnāt stop her from seeing the kids but she would have to respect our boundaries or we would have to put a stop to it. She refuses to see us or the kids. She refuses to apologize or admit to any wrong doing. She going around telling everyone Iām dead to her and take we took everything from her and we used her and abused her. We stopped talking to her all together and stopped trying to visit her.
2024.05.15 00:29 twesterm Finding myself wondering why people don't think I'm the most amazing person to talk to while playing EDH
Nothing irks me more lately than me sitting down and trying being the center of attention with a new table only to be met with blank stares or general unwillingness to play the social aspect of the game.
Help me understand this. Edh is a social format that involves being social in the majority of the games I'm playing. Some people just refuse to take part in any of that, and it confounds me. I am hitting you with my best jokes, recounting amazingly interesting anecdotes, relating with you on the one time I missed a trigger too, telling you about all the hip places to eat and you're just sitting here playing the game like some loser. Why are you even here?
If I could visualize these people, it would be some nerd typing on reddit all day in a dimly lit room (not me though, I'm pretty awesome because I told you the story about how IPA's came to be and what my favorite ones are).
Rant over.
submitted by twesterm to magicthecirclejerking [link] [comments]
Help me understand this. Edh is a social format that involves being social in the majority of the games I'm playing. Some people just refuse to take part in any of that, and it confounds me. I am hitting you with my best jokes, recounting amazingly interesting anecdotes, relating with you on the one time I missed a trigger too, telling you about all the hip places to eat and you're just sitting here playing the game like some loser. Why are you even here?
If I could visualize these people, it would be some nerd typing on reddit all day in a dimly lit room (not me though, I'm pretty awesome because I told you the story about how IPA's came to be and what my favorite ones are).
Rant over.
2024.05.15 00:28 WhatsThatNoize Did I miss significant attempts at power management changes over the past 3-4 years? (i.e. Could the Power Triangle mechanic have been leveraged more before introducing an entirely new flight system?)
Just to be clear: this isn't a complaint about Master Modes. I've used it, but not enough to generate a 100% final opinion one way or another. I'm happy to keep testing it and providing feedback and I think we all should do so.
This is more of a "did I miss a massive public or internal CIG debate somewhere?" post. Or perhaps a "why didn't we use the tools we already had?" post. Backing since 2014, PU since about 2017-ish. I will admit, I'm not an every-single-day player so this discussion I'm opening up here is meant more for me to try and gain a bit of perspective from those who probably know better than I.
The concept of power systems control was something I was elated to see as it's been successfully implemented as far back as 1997 in X-Wing vs Tie Fighter; but from what I can tell the entire system was left largely unmolested the entire time I've been playing. Worse, to me it was almost entirely anemic because 100% dedication to one system wasn't actually "100%", it was a small instantaneous boost while everything else continued to work about the same. Helpful in a dogfight, but you could leave it untouched and still handle your opponents in a pinch if you weren't fighting the absolute sweatiest of sweatlords.
It baffled me that, when the questions of how to deal with jousting and/or the "light fighter meta" came up consistently over the past few years, the first instinct wasn't to just aggressively retune power balancing. In fact, from the time I first started playing with the power triangle, I can't recall a time when it was ever adjusted in any appreciable manner.
Am I crazy? Misremembering? If I'm not either of those things: why was this? You have this flexible balancing system that can tweak capabilities pertaining to defense, offense, and mobility in any manner, and each of these can be tuned on individual ships, components, and parameters around spool up, spool down, capacitor banks, delays, etc. Like for example:
submitted by WhatsThatNoize to starcitizen [link] [comments]
This is more of a "did I miss a massive public or internal CIG debate somewhere?" post. Or perhaps a "why didn't we use the tools we already had?" post. Backing since 2014, PU since about 2017-ish. I will admit, I'm not an every-single-day player so this discussion I'm opening up here is meant more for me to try and gain a bit of perspective from those who probably know better than I.
The concept of power systems control was something I was elated to see as it's been successfully implemented as far back as 1997 in X-Wing vs Tie Fighter; but from what I can tell the entire system was left largely unmolested the entire time I've been playing. Worse, to me it was almost entirely anemic because 100% dedication to one system wasn't actually "100%", it was a small instantaneous boost while everything else continued to work about the same. Helpful in a dogfight, but you could leave it untouched and still handle your opponents in a pinch if you weren't fighting the absolute sweatiest of sweatlords.
It baffled me that, when the questions of how to deal with jousting and/or the "light fighter meta" came up consistently over the past few years, the first instinct wasn't to just aggressively retune power balancing. In fact, from the time I first started playing with the power triangle, I can't recall a time when it was ever adjusted in any appreciable manner.
Am I crazy? Misremembering? If I'm not either of those things: why was this? You have this flexible balancing system that can tweak capabilities pertaining to defense, offense, and mobility in any manner, and each of these can be tuned on individual ships, components, and parameters around spool up, spool down, capacitor banks, delays, etc. Like for example:
- You don't want light fighters constantly disengaging? Make their "engine spool" on a delayed timedistribution curve so that dumping power to engines quickly drains shields but takes more time to overcharge the engines meaning any commit to running has to be timed well or you get shredded.
- Don't want heavy fighters or large ships "turtling" if their engagement or escape plan doesn't work out when they dumped all their power to weapons or engines respectively? Put the shield capacitor charge rate on a steeper curve or delay so they're vulnerable for a period of time to punish their mistake.
2024.05.15 00:27 Kauaiishbino AITAH? I [F/18] was talking to a guy [M/20] about how I felt about him friendzoning me after leading me on knowing I wanted a relationship. He blocked me because I screenshotted our message talking about it. If I am, is there anything I can do about it? How may he have possibly felt?
I just had things ended because a guy I was talking to finally told me today that he didn't want me and that I wasn't for him, but it ended up going way worse than I wanted.
Everything started with me reconnecting with him in Walmart. I knew him prior to this because we used to go to the same high school together but never really talked. I gave him my instagram and we were talking about our exes cause that is how we even knew each other. While I was texting him, he asked me for my number then we started texting on imessages. He would text me, send me pigeon games, and call me every now and then.
There was one day where he called me and he wanted to ask me sexual questions, I was cool with it cause we had been friends for 2 weeks and plus I don't really have anything to hide. I didn't think much about it while telling him and asking him stuff cause we were friends, he had started talking about how he wanted someone to be friends with benefits with that it wouldn't end up ruining the friendship and I told him I could never do that stuff cause I want to be in a relationship with those that I am sexual with, plus I get clingy with them cause I tend to actually like them.
At some point of talking, he even asked for me to send and I told him that I wanted to do all of that stuff when I get married because my last ex (the ex he knew about) had taken my virginity to get his ex (the guy i was talking to's ex) jealous. I don't know exactly what he said but he said something like "Well it would suck to wait for someone during the relationship just to realize that they aren't good at sex", which made me feel like I was waiting for no reason because after that ex, I never was sexually active with anyone (about 2-3 years counting). I ended up sending some old nudes because I thought it wouldn't matter anymore and that he was kind of cute. After that, the more we talked the more the sexual tension got heavy, he was talking about how he liked my body and how he wanted to fuck me, and I was eating it up cause he was making me feel pretty and wanted. He ended up jerking off to my picture when I let him take the time to (cause I really didn't want to do e-sex cause I've always felt unfulfilled doing it) and when he came back everything was fine.
After some days, we had gotten into this habit of me sending him nudes, taking them how he wanted them to look, with him complimenting me and jerking off to them, there was only one time where we did e-sex, everything else was sending. The sending nudes ended up making me feel how I did in my previous relationship which was like a whore, not an actual person, and like a porn magazine, so I talked to him about it and he told me to just tell him to stop when he does ask. Time passed some more and he would still asked so I talked to him again about it because everytime we would have a sweet moment he would ask me for nudes or say something sexual, but this time he was still entertaining the idea, I assume he was thinking I was playing hard to get, I really don't know, but this time I told him, "I don't think you'll get to the point of actually liking me" because during this time he made it seem like we were leaning into a relationship while I always said that I wanted a relationship, he had backed off when I said that but he replied saying "(my name) don't be like that". After that, the only time that we would be sexual was whenever I initiated it, which would be about once every 2-3 weeks.
During that I would treat him like a boyfriend, but he was still being plain towards me, (he even told me that he liked the way I treated him) the only time he would compliment me was when I dressed up, so I asked him about how he was rarely lovey dovey towards me and he told me that he needed more time to get to like me even more than he did cause he wanted to take things slow, I got salty and told him that sexting me and wanting me to send nudes wasn't take it slow, he didn't say anything about that but smirked and change the topic. Every now and then, I'd make slick comments about stuff that didn't make sense. We had gotten to a point where he told me that he wasn't going to be texting and calling as much because he wants to start his business up, which I had no problem with that, I told him that I would always be there for him and when needed me, if there was anything I could do to just let me know, and I even told him if he felt like he needed to not pursue a relationship right now that we could stop or cut ties for now. He agreed with him not pursuing a relationship, again stating that he wants to put all of his focus in the business, and that there was nothing wrong with me, just that he wanted to focus on himself. I told him that I didn't know if I was cool being just friends because I was actually trying to pursue a relationship with him and that if I figured out how I felt about it I would let him know so that things didn't get toxic between us.
6 days later (5/10/2024),
At night, I told him the way everything is right now is making me confused and overwhelmed because I didn't really understand what our status was, and it wasn't somewhere I wanted to be especially after sending him pictures of my body using a voice message. I also told him that I was regretting showing him my body cause of how I felt I was being used but didn't want to assume and was hoping that he just needed time, he replied the next day during the afternoon telling me that I was a good person just that he couldn't see a future with me, that he thought he made his want of being only friends clear, that we would go different directions if we did get together. I got confused about that part because everytime I would try and talk to him about us meeting up and how we would maintain the relationship, he would tell me that it was too soon to talk about it, so i got a bit mad and asked him how he came to that conclusion knowing that we didn't talk about it at all, how he knew my boundaries but didn't straight up tell me that he didn't want me so I could save my time, and how he didn't make anything clear cause I thought we were on pause for now and going to attempt to try again once the business started up. He then told me that I was trying to guilt him, to not be mad at him because he didn't want a relationship, that he didn't want me, that I wasn't for him, and to not get mad at him for something he couldn't control.
I told him that I wasn't meaning to guilt him (cause I wasn't, I was just being transparent and honest on how I felt) and that I wanted to call instead of texting cause i didn't like it, I felt more miscommunication was happening, he told me he didn't want to call because he didn't want me to call him an asshole and how my problems are his fault, I told him i never said it was his fault but he corrected me by reminding me i said it in the voice message i sent last night (I was really high when I made it, so i didn't remember much when I woke up), so i listened to it and I literally told him that it was half of his fault that I'm confused about our status and how I needed more stability from him, so I told him that just adding that I was also at fault to for not knocking him down when he first came at me. After that, I started screenshotting the messages for my notion journal to dissect more on how I feel about it to try to understand more on how i felt and to help me move on, but he gets PISSED, he texted me on imessage.
him: "yeah no, fuck your screenshots"
me: "why you don't even know what i'm going to do with them?"
him: "1 screenshot. Sure. 3??? Nahhh. You trynna catch me up. I one you and screenshots and I don't fuck with it. That drew the line for me. You right. We shouldn't talk."
THEN HE FUCKING BLOCKS ME ON EVERYTHING EVEN GETTING A MUTUAL FRIEND OF OURS TO BLOCK ME. So i start racing to talk to him because I didn't think it was a big ass deal, so i text him on discord and he's telling me to fuck off and blocks me. I kept finding ways to contact him trying to explain to him and apologizing that I'm keeping it to myself and that its nothing more but he tells me to fuck off even more to the point where he even threatens to report me. I gave up and I sent my last message to him telling him that he basically sucks, doesn't reciprocate any mercy I've given to him or treat me as if I mattered to him, how it was unfair how stubborn he was to not even try to understand how i felt, how i still, despite, the entirety of the situation, love him, and hopes his life goes well.
I do want to add that I understand constantly texting him and calling him about it was a bad move, I truly was just acting on my emotions instead of calming down then making a choice.
submitted by Kauaiishbino to AITAH [link] [comments]
Everything started with me reconnecting with him in Walmart. I knew him prior to this because we used to go to the same high school together but never really talked. I gave him my instagram and we were talking about our exes cause that is how we even knew each other. While I was texting him, he asked me for my number then we started texting on imessages. He would text me, send me pigeon games, and call me every now and then.
There was one day where he called me and he wanted to ask me sexual questions, I was cool with it cause we had been friends for 2 weeks and plus I don't really have anything to hide. I didn't think much about it while telling him and asking him stuff cause we were friends, he had started talking about how he wanted someone to be friends with benefits with that it wouldn't end up ruining the friendship and I told him I could never do that stuff cause I want to be in a relationship with those that I am sexual with, plus I get clingy with them cause I tend to actually like them.
At some point of talking, he even asked for me to send and I told him that I wanted to do all of that stuff when I get married because my last ex (the ex he knew about) had taken my virginity to get his ex (the guy i was talking to's ex) jealous. I don't know exactly what he said but he said something like "Well it would suck to wait for someone during the relationship just to realize that they aren't good at sex", which made me feel like I was waiting for no reason because after that ex, I never was sexually active with anyone (about 2-3 years counting). I ended up sending some old nudes because I thought it wouldn't matter anymore and that he was kind of cute. After that, the more we talked the more the sexual tension got heavy, he was talking about how he liked my body and how he wanted to fuck me, and I was eating it up cause he was making me feel pretty and wanted. He ended up jerking off to my picture when I let him take the time to (cause I really didn't want to do e-sex cause I've always felt unfulfilled doing it) and when he came back everything was fine.
After some days, we had gotten into this habit of me sending him nudes, taking them how he wanted them to look, with him complimenting me and jerking off to them, there was only one time where we did e-sex, everything else was sending. The sending nudes ended up making me feel how I did in my previous relationship which was like a whore, not an actual person, and like a porn magazine, so I talked to him about it and he told me to just tell him to stop when he does ask. Time passed some more and he would still asked so I talked to him again about it because everytime we would have a sweet moment he would ask me for nudes or say something sexual, but this time he was still entertaining the idea, I assume he was thinking I was playing hard to get, I really don't know, but this time I told him, "I don't think you'll get to the point of actually liking me" because during this time he made it seem like we were leaning into a relationship while I always said that I wanted a relationship, he had backed off when I said that but he replied saying "(my name) don't be like that". After that, the only time that we would be sexual was whenever I initiated it, which would be about once every 2-3 weeks.
During that I would treat him like a boyfriend, but he was still being plain towards me, (he even told me that he liked the way I treated him) the only time he would compliment me was when I dressed up, so I asked him about how he was rarely lovey dovey towards me and he told me that he needed more time to get to like me even more than he did cause he wanted to take things slow, I got salty and told him that sexting me and wanting me to send nudes wasn't take it slow, he didn't say anything about that but smirked and change the topic. Every now and then, I'd make slick comments about stuff that didn't make sense. We had gotten to a point where he told me that he wasn't going to be texting and calling as much because he wants to start his business up, which I had no problem with that, I told him that I would always be there for him and when needed me, if there was anything I could do to just let me know, and I even told him if he felt like he needed to not pursue a relationship right now that we could stop or cut ties for now. He agreed with him not pursuing a relationship, again stating that he wants to put all of his focus in the business, and that there was nothing wrong with me, just that he wanted to focus on himself. I told him that I didn't know if I was cool being just friends because I was actually trying to pursue a relationship with him and that if I figured out how I felt about it I would let him know so that things didn't get toxic between us.
6 days later (5/10/2024),
At night, I told him the way everything is right now is making me confused and overwhelmed because I didn't really understand what our status was, and it wasn't somewhere I wanted to be especially after sending him pictures of my body using a voice message. I also told him that I was regretting showing him my body cause of how I felt I was being used but didn't want to assume and was hoping that he just needed time, he replied the next day during the afternoon telling me that I was a good person just that he couldn't see a future with me, that he thought he made his want of being only friends clear, that we would go different directions if we did get together. I got confused about that part because everytime I would try and talk to him about us meeting up and how we would maintain the relationship, he would tell me that it was too soon to talk about it, so i got a bit mad and asked him how he came to that conclusion knowing that we didn't talk about it at all, how he knew my boundaries but didn't straight up tell me that he didn't want me so I could save my time, and how he didn't make anything clear cause I thought we were on pause for now and going to attempt to try again once the business started up. He then told me that I was trying to guilt him, to not be mad at him because he didn't want a relationship, that he didn't want me, that I wasn't for him, and to not get mad at him for something he couldn't control.
I told him that I wasn't meaning to guilt him (cause I wasn't, I was just being transparent and honest on how I felt) and that I wanted to call instead of texting cause i didn't like it, I felt more miscommunication was happening, he told me he didn't want to call because he didn't want me to call him an asshole and how my problems are his fault, I told him i never said it was his fault but he corrected me by reminding me i said it in the voice message i sent last night (I was really high when I made it, so i didn't remember much when I woke up), so i listened to it and I literally told him that it was half of his fault that I'm confused about our status and how I needed more stability from him, so I told him that just adding that I was also at fault to for not knocking him down when he first came at me. After that, I started screenshotting the messages for my notion journal to dissect more on how I feel about it to try to understand more on how i felt and to help me move on, but he gets PISSED, he texted me on imessage.
him: "yeah no, fuck your screenshots"
me: "why you don't even know what i'm going to do with them?"
him: "1 screenshot. Sure. 3??? Nahhh. You trynna catch me up. I one you and screenshots and I don't fuck with it. That drew the line for me. You right. We shouldn't talk."
THEN HE FUCKING BLOCKS ME ON EVERYTHING EVEN GETTING A MUTUAL FRIEND OF OURS TO BLOCK ME. So i start racing to talk to him because I didn't think it was a big ass deal, so i text him on discord and he's telling me to fuck off and blocks me. I kept finding ways to contact him trying to explain to him and apologizing that I'm keeping it to myself and that its nothing more but he tells me to fuck off even more to the point where he even threatens to report me. I gave up and I sent my last message to him telling him that he basically sucks, doesn't reciprocate any mercy I've given to him or treat me as if I mattered to him, how it was unfair how stubborn he was to not even try to understand how i felt, how i still, despite, the entirety of the situation, love him, and hopes his life goes well.
I do want to add that I understand constantly texting him and calling him about it was a bad move, I truly was just acting on my emotions instead of calming down then making a choice.
2024.05.15 00:27 Mental-throway000000 Angry at God/Source for giving me a taste of what Iāve asked for then taking it away?
For clarification, I do identify as Christian so there are references to the monotheistic Christian God here, but I would like perspectives on spirituality, Source/Higher Being, and trusting the Universe regarding this specific situation from others.
Some years back I heard a quote from Viola Davis where she was talking about her husband and how God helped her meet her husband. She mentioned that she wrote a list of every quality she was looking for an partner and God soon delivered that for her. I wrote this list very intentionally thinking about exactly who I would want my partner to be and which characteristics and qualities I envision in a partner for the rest of my life. that was two years ago. For the past two years, I have not been dating (unwillingly) so I havenāt been meeting new guys. I asked a friend about one of her friends, and she set us up on a date. That was last week. Normally I would feel a sense of anxiety, dread, nervousness before a date, and I was expecting to given that I have not been on a date in two years. However, leading up to the hours before we met, I felt a sense of ease. I felt like I was just getting ready to go see a friend. I knew I was going on a date, but it didnāt feel like I was going on a date, if that makes sense? I get there and, he is the most gorgeous man I have ever seen in my life thus far. I felt like we had a great date. We had tons of great conversations, we share the same humor, and there was a lot of flirting. I wasnāt delusional about this at all, but the more I got to know him on that date the more I started realizing, this man has all the qualities I asked for that I wrote down in that list two years ago.
And just when I thought things were going, well, I innocently tell him I havenāt been on a date in two years, and he totally freaks out, saying it was too much pressure for him, and that we should stop seeing each other. I took a gracefully and didnāt fight back. However, I was very upset that night, but after seeing a friend the next day , I donāt feel sad? Obviously, Iām not happy that he decided he didnāt want us to keep seeing each other, but Iām not sad. For context normally when I would be sad, I would be entirely obsessive over a situation. I would cry about it, obsessively try āmanifestingā, I would think about it all the time, and not to say Iām not thinking about him, but I donāt feel sad when I do. For some reason I feel natural and I even catch myself grinning sometimes. That being said, though, Iām not sad that he decided not to see each other anymore, I do feel angry at God. I wrote about it in my journal last night and so a lot of the initial feelings I had last night had wore off by now, but I do want to get others perspective on this. It feels like God gave me a taste of exactly what I asked him for only to yank it back and say ājokeās on youā.
I guess I just need some perspective on this. As Iām still quite early in getting back to my faith, and I still havenāt made sense of where I fit into my spiritual journey, specifically with Christianity, so I would love others perspective on this, Christian or not.
Thanks.
submitted by Mental-throway000000 to spirituality [link] [comments]
Some years back I heard a quote from Viola Davis where she was talking about her husband and how God helped her meet her husband. She mentioned that she wrote a list of every quality she was looking for an partner and God soon delivered that for her. I wrote this list very intentionally thinking about exactly who I would want my partner to be and which characteristics and qualities I envision in a partner for the rest of my life. that was two years ago. For the past two years, I have not been dating (unwillingly) so I havenāt been meeting new guys. I asked a friend about one of her friends, and she set us up on a date. That was last week. Normally I would feel a sense of anxiety, dread, nervousness before a date, and I was expecting to given that I have not been on a date in two years. However, leading up to the hours before we met, I felt a sense of ease. I felt like I was just getting ready to go see a friend. I knew I was going on a date, but it didnāt feel like I was going on a date, if that makes sense? I get there and, he is the most gorgeous man I have ever seen in my life thus far. I felt like we had a great date. We had tons of great conversations, we share the same humor, and there was a lot of flirting. I wasnāt delusional about this at all, but the more I got to know him on that date the more I started realizing, this man has all the qualities I asked for that I wrote down in that list two years ago.
And just when I thought things were going, well, I innocently tell him I havenāt been on a date in two years, and he totally freaks out, saying it was too much pressure for him, and that we should stop seeing each other. I took a gracefully and didnāt fight back. However, I was very upset that night, but after seeing a friend the next day , I donāt feel sad? Obviously, Iām not happy that he decided he didnāt want us to keep seeing each other, but Iām not sad. For context normally when I would be sad, I would be entirely obsessive over a situation. I would cry about it, obsessively try āmanifestingā, I would think about it all the time, and not to say Iām not thinking about him, but I donāt feel sad when I do. For some reason I feel natural and I even catch myself grinning sometimes. That being said, though, Iām not sad that he decided not to see each other anymore, I do feel angry at God. I wrote about it in my journal last night and so a lot of the initial feelings I had last night had wore off by now, but I do want to get others perspective on this. It feels like God gave me a taste of exactly what I asked him for only to yank it back and say ājokeās on youā.
I guess I just need some perspective on this. As Iām still quite early in getting back to my faith, and I still havenāt made sense of where I fit into my spiritual journey, specifically with Christianity, so I would love others perspective on this, Christian or not.
Thanks.
2024.05.15 00:26 HEXXIIN I just left my job because my manager threatened to call 911 if i was too sick to continue to work.
Until today, I was working a small, part-time retail job, making minimum wage while I am going back to school. I enjoyed the job, but the manager is insane.
I am on some medications that have been making me very sick for the last two weeks. Last Wednesday, I called out about 1.5 hours before my shift because I started vomiting. My manager proceeded to huff and puff about how now the store won't open on time and we can't have that. The man even HEARD me vomit on the phone and still had the nerve to ask, "Can you still make it in?". I also got told on monday that "you need to give at least 3 hours notice before you call out" like ok dude, next time i will plan my vomit better.
Today, I got to work, opened the store, and started to feel so sick. I was able to close the store and put a sign up for customers to know we are closed and ran to the back to vomit. I called my manager to tell him that I need to go home. This man proceeded to ask if I can hold out until someone gets there in 3 hours.... I tell him I can't even stand up without getting nauseous and don't really feel like vomiting on someone because when the vomit comes over me, it's instant. He then tells me, "Well, if you are too sick to keep working, maybe I should call emergency services to come. Sounds like you are having a medical emergency." in the most condescending tone ever.
Which I tell him that it's not a medical emergency, it's a reaction to my medications that I unfortunately have to take. And then he says, "Well, if it's not a medical emergency then I don't understand how you can't stick it out. Either we can call 911 or you can wait. We cannot have the store closed during the day." What the hell is an EMT going to do? Work my shift for me? I don't even understand the logic? He was clearly just trying to guilt me into saying it's not that bad and just staying at work. Because I guess to him if it's not life or death, I can just stick it out.
I'm not going to be guilted or threatened into working while vomiting. This is a minimum wage job. He hung up on me after saying he needs to call our district manager, so I made sure all the doors were locked, wrote "I quit" on a sticky note that I put on my work keys, and left it on his desk. Set the alarm and left out the auto-locking door. This man has been truly one of the worst managers I have ever worked for. Part of me wanted to tell him to call 911 so I can get him in trouble for abusing emergency services.
submitted by HEXXIIN to antiwork [link] [comments]
I am on some medications that have been making me very sick for the last two weeks. Last Wednesday, I called out about 1.5 hours before my shift because I started vomiting. My manager proceeded to huff and puff about how now the store won't open on time and we can't have that. The man even HEARD me vomit on the phone and still had the nerve to ask, "Can you still make it in?". I also got told on monday that "you need to give at least 3 hours notice before you call out" like ok dude, next time i will plan my vomit better.
Today, I got to work, opened the store, and started to feel so sick. I was able to close the store and put a sign up for customers to know we are closed and ran to the back to vomit. I called my manager to tell him that I need to go home. This man proceeded to ask if I can hold out until someone gets there in 3 hours.... I tell him I can't even stand up without getting nauseous and don't really feel like vomiting on someone because when the vomit comes over me, it's instant. He then tells me, "Well, if you are too sick to keep working, maybe I should call emergency services to come. Sounds like you are having a medical emergency." in the most condescending tone ever.
Which I tell him that it's not a medical emergency, it's a reaction to my medications that I unfortunately have to take. And then he says, "Well, if it's not a medical emergency then I don't understand how you can't stick it out. Either we can call 911 or you can wait. We cannot have the store closed during the day." What the hell is an EMT going to do? Work my shift for me? I don't even understand the logic? He was clearly just trying to guilt me into saying it's not that bad and just staying at work. Because I guess to him if it's not life or death, I can just stick it out.
I'm not going to be guilted or threatened into working while vomiting. This is a minimum wage job. He hung up on me after saying he needs to call our district manager, so I made sure all the doors were locked, wrote "I quit" on a sticky note that I put on my work keys, and left it on his desk. Set the alarm and left out the auto-locking door. This man has been truly one of the worst managers I have ever worked for. Part of me wanted to tell him to call 911 so I can get him in trouble for abusing emergency services.
2024.05.15 00:26 HighStrungHabitat confusing session with my therapist left me feeling really hurt, could use some insight?
So Iāve been seeing my therapist for two years now, and we havenāt had many issues for the most part. But I have noticed a pattern of my therapist bringing up the topic of power struggles/imbalances, and it always leaves me feeling very confused. For example, a while back after my first dog passed away, I tried to explain to her that it was hard for me to navigate our sessions bc I was so drained, and I asked her if she could help guide me through it by asking direct questions, etc, so it would be less overwhelming. Her response really caught me off guard bc she was acting very defensively and kept talking about power struggles, I felt like she was accusing me of questioning her ability to treat me, all bc i said it was too overwhelming to have the ball thrown entirely in my court every session, and it made me really angry, I felt so invalidated/degraded. That conversation definitely affected my trust in her and overall comfortability in therapy, I didnt feel like it was safe to keep bringing up so I tried to just move on, but as time went on I noticed that since it was never resolved, it was bleeding into the present, bc I stopped feeling like I could be completely honest but never addressed it again. I made the decision recently to bite the bullet and talk to her about itā¦. it didnt go well.
I am now even more confused and hurt than before bc I donāt understand what I did to warrant my therapist to respond so out of charecter, she is usually such an amazing listener, but today when I was trying to explain the situation, she became extremely defensive before I could even finish what I was saying. She thought I was accusing her of lacking empathy when my dog passed away, and that wasnāt at all what I even said, but she jumped in and snapped at me before I even finished what I was saying. I tried to clarify things, but it became increasingly harder to do so without crying, bc I didnāt understand why she was so frustrated with me. I never once raised my voice, or anything of the short but she just kept saying she didnāt understand and she was confused, no matter how many times I tried to clarify things. She then, once again kept bringing up power struggles, and mentioned that I apparently have this pattern of challenging/questioning her, in a way that isnāt helpful every couple of weeks, and she mentioned this was in her notes.
I seriously donāt get it, how does questioning a therapist automatically mean you are trying to engage in a power struggle? And how is anything I said even questioning her? She also, mentioned feeling devalued, and said that bringing up things from the past is passive agressive even if i donāt feel like it is. I felt like she wasnāt allowing me to have my own thoughts/feelings about any of this, bc even though I tried to clarify what I meant/my intentions, she was still defensive. I feel completely defeated, like no matter what I do itās just going to lead to what is actually an argument, even though itās not technically. My therapist always tells me any feedback is good feedback and that no emotions are bad, she wonāt personalize anything, etc. But doesnāt her behavior kind of seem like she is taking it personally? bc if she wasnāt, then why is she getting so defensive?
Also, not to mention my therapist knows that I have a hard time confronting something in the moment, due to issues in my family/social life, Iāve sort of been programmed to feel like itās unsafe to say something in the moment, and itās better to bring it up later. So to be told itās passive agressive when she knows why I do it, makes it even more hurtful.
I just feel so hurt and invalidated, Iāve been through hell this past year and Iām currently going through the most difficult time in my life, bc I lost my grandpa recently, This definitely didnāt help.
submitted by HighStrungHabitat to askatherapist [link] [comments]
I am now even more confused and hurt than before bc I donāt understand what I did to warrant my therapist to respond so out of charecter, she is usually such an amazing listener, but today when I was trying to explain the situation, she became extremely defensive before I could even finish what I was saying. She thought I was accusing her of lacking empathy when my dog passed away, and that wasnāt at all what I even said, but she jumped in and snapped at me before I even finished what I was saying. I tried to clarify things, but it became increasingly harder to do so without crying, bc I didnāt understand why she was so frustrated with me. I never once raised my voice, or anything of the short but she just kept saying she didnāt understand and she was confused, no matter how many times I tried to clarify things. She then, once again kept bringing up power struggles, and mentioned that I apparently have this pattern of challenging/questioning her, in a way that isnāt helpful every couple of weeks, and she mentioned this was in her notes.
I seriously donāt get it, how does questioning a therapist automatically mean you are trying to engage in a power struggle? And how is anything I said even questioning her? She also, mentioned feeling devalued, and said that bringing up things from the past is passive agressive even if i donāt feel like it is. I felt like she wasnāt allowing me to have my own thoughts/feelings about any of this, bc even though I tried to clarify what I meant/my intentions, she was still defensive. I feel completely defeated, like no matter what I do itās just going to lead to what is actually an argument, even though itās not technically. My therapist always tells me any feedback is good feedback and that no emotions are bad, she wonāt personalize anything, etc. But doesnāt her behavior kind of seem like she is taking it personally? bc if she wasnāt, then why is she getting so defensive?
Also, not to mention my therapist knows that I have a hard time confronting something in the moment, due to issues in my family/social life, Iāve sort of been programmed to feel like itās unsafe to say something in the moment, and itās better to bring it up later. So to be told itās passive agressive when she knows why I do it, makes it even more hurtful.
I just feel so hurt and invalidated, Iāve been through hell this past year and Iām currently going through the most difficult time in my life, bc I lost my grandpa recently, This definitely didnāt help.
2024.05.15 00:26 ThatGuyFromTheM0vie People are memeing on the new exotics, but you need to remember that come TFS, we are in a Post-Prismatic and Dual Exotic Perk Class Item world. No one knows anything right now; these exotics are shown in isolation, and can only be seen through our current state understanding.
Disclaimerāsure, I could be totally wrong about this. Bungie hasnāt exactly had a fantastic track record with new exotic armor perks, at least lately.
But we can no longer look at these exotics through the lens of what we know todayāour current state of the sandbox, where everything is siloed into subclasses.
In the latest vidoc, there is a clip where a Titan shoots out an attack with their Class Ability Wall, and it unleashes Kepriās Horn, Hoarfrost-Z, and Drengrās LashāALL at the same time.
How good will that actually be?
Impossible to tell right now.
But I bet it would be even more amazing if you could also shoot out a salvo of rockets at the same time.
Furthermore, Bungie also said exotics would be receiving a balance pass, so some stuff we might not think is very good right now, could be entirely different come TFS.
Thereās too much to guess right now. Balance Pass/Rework + New Exotic Class Items + Prismatic + New Supers/Aspects/Fragmentsā¦..itās too much to calculate or even theorize until we have it all in our hands.
So maybe donāt dunk on the new stuff just yet. People said Strand would suck, and it ended up being an incredible subclass, and Titan ended up being the best out of the whole lot.
The Strand Melee Titan Build is now the most broken and overpowered DPS class we have ever seen in the history of the game, AND it also has Woven Mail + Banner of War to never ever die.
And that was ājustā a new subclass, using the old paradigm. You now will be able to combine supers, aspects, fragments, abilities, and exotics together from an assortment of both classes and subclasses, simultaneously.
In a vacuum, the new stuff may be weakābut thatās the old way of thinkingāas the final key puzzle piece in some new outrageous Prismatic buildā¦.well we will have to see.
Whenever Bungie makes something a little too spicy, the community always cooks up something thatās 5000x spicier than they could have ever imagined.
Just let people cook. Donāt be like BlackBerry, who said in response to the first iPhone: āwe will be fineā. No one can possibly guess how things will shake out until we have all of the new tools in our handsāthese are massive changes that will disrupt the game in ways we canāt even fully grasp yet.
submitted by ThatGuyFromTheM0vie to DestinyTheGame [link] [comments]
But we can no longer look at these exotics through the lens of what we know todayāour current state of the sandbox, where everything is siloed into subclasses.
In the latest vidoc, there is a clip where a Titan shoots out an attack with their Class Ability Wall, and it unleashes Kepriās Horn, Hoarfrost-Z, and Drengrās LashāALL at the same time.
How good will that actually be?
Impossible to tell right now.
But I bet it would be even more amazing if you could also shoot out a salvo of rockets at the same time.
Furthermore, Bungie also said exotics would be receiving a balance pass, so some stuff we might not think is very good right now, could be entirely different come TFS.
Thereās too much to guess right now. Balance Pass/Rework + New Exotic Class Items + Prismatic + New Supers/Aspects/Fragmentsā¦..itās too much to calculate or even theorize until we have it all in our hands.
So maybe donāt dunk on the new stuff just yet. People said Strand would suck, and it ended up being an incredible subclass, and Titan ended up being the best out of the whole lot.
The Strand Melee Titan Build is now the most broken and overpowered DPS class we have ever seen in the history of the game, AND it also has Woven Mail + Banner of War to never ever die.
And that was ājustā a new subclass, using the old paradigm. You now will be able to combine supers, aspects, fragments, abilities, and exotics together from an assortment of both classes and subclasses, simultaneously.
In a vacuum, the new stuff may be weakābut thatās the old way of thinkingāas the final key puzzle piece in some new outrageous Prismatic buildā¦.well we will have to see.
Whenever Bungie makes something a little too spicy, the community always cooks up something thatās 5000x spicier than they could have ever imagined.
Just let people cook. Donāt be like BlackBerry, who said in response to the first iPhone: āwe will be fineā. No one can possibly guess how things will shake out until we have all of the new tools in our handsāthese are massive changes that will disrupt the game in ways we canāt even fully grasp yet.
2024.05.15 00:25 Repulsive_Talk_2274 AI and humans working together ?
For the first day of my life, I've "talked" with chat GPT today. After asking about how could a AI could reatch a state of self contiousness, I've asked it if it could tell me how would it look if it had a phisical form.
That was what it told me:
"In a world of soft, ethereal light, a figure emerges, slender and humanoid in form. Its body is crafted from translucent material, akin to delicate glass, allowing light to pass through and shimmer gently. The figure stands with graceful poise, its movements fluid and effortless.
Smooth curves and gentle lines define its minimalist silhouette, conveying a sense of simplicity and elegance. The face, serene and neutral, is adorned with softly glowing eyes that radiate warmth and empathy.
Surrounded by a subtle aura of light, the figure exudes a palpable sense of presence and compassion. With arms extended in a welcoming gesture, it invites interaction and connection, ready to assist and support in any way possible."
Even tho I know that AI is a disaster for artists, I can not repress my self from wanting to know what could it look like in the hand of great human artists. So i'm asking to you, on this website to show what humanity can create and what can flourish from this description.
So, yes, I'm requesting anyone who want to create any type of art by using this description. I think it could also be intresting to show your creation to chat GPT, see if it reacts even if I think it won't and even tho i think it's a pretty nice challenge.
Thank you for considering my request and give free rein to your creation if you want to.
With all care and attention.
Mewzart
submitted by Repulsive_Talk_2274 to ICanDrawThat [link] [comments]
That was what it told me:
"In a world of soft, ethereal light, a figure emerges, slender and humanoid in form. Its body is crafted from translucent material, akin to delicate glass, allowing light to pass through and shimmer gently. The figure stands with graceful poise, its movements fluid and effortless.
Smooth curves and gentle lines define its minimalist silhouette, conveying a sense of simplicity and elegance. The face, serene and neutral, is adorned with softly glowing eyes that radiate warmth and empathy.
Surrounded by a subtle aura of light, the figure exudes a palpable sense of presence and compassion. With arms extended in a welcoming gesture, it invites interaction and connection, ready to assist and support in any way possible."
Even tho I know that AI is a disaster for artists, I can not repress my self from wanting to know what could it look like in the hand of great human artists. So i'm asking to you, on this website to show what humanity can create and what can flourish from this description.
So, yes, I'm requesting anyone who want to create any type of art by using this description. I think it could also be intresting to show your creation to chat GPT, see if it reacts even if I think it won't and even tho i think it's a pretty nice challenge.
Thank you for considering my request and give free rein to your creation if you want to.
With all care and attention.
Mewzart
2024.05.15 00:25 mmary92 Donation based mediumship reading
I perform readings by receiving images and by receiving āimpressionsā.
Do not send me anything that is identifying, no name tags or house numbers or anything that can be easily found online. If you have posted about your deceased loved one in the past, itās best to make a throwaway account so you donāt have any doubts. This helps validate the experience.
I have noticed these sessions go better with your active participation. I can do zoom call or Reddit chat, please tell me what dates/times work.
I am offering my services as donation based. My Venmo/PayPal is linked in my profile. You get to decide how much you want to pay for this service. Donating helps me to continue to offer my services and justifies the time spent on them and the mental energy. Time is limited to 30 minutes.
What to expect: I will require one photo of the deceased with no other information. I will send you a message with 2+ paragraphs about the person. You can ask questions afterwards. It should be clear that I am speaking with the correct person based on what I write to you.
If I have multiple reading requests it may take me several days to respond to you. I typically limit myself to 3 readings per night.
I am also able to do a psychic reading if you would like insight on certain parts of your life, please let me know if interested!
Reviews: https://www.reddit.commmary92/s/8mQsKXuGNO
submitted by mmary92 to MediumReadings [link] [comments]
Do not send me anything that is identifying, no name tags or house numbers or anything that can be easily found online. If you have posted about your deceased loved one in the past, itās best to make a throwaway account so you donāt have any doubts. This helps validate the experience.
I have noticed these sessions go better with your active participation. I can do zoom call or Reddit chat, please tell me what dates/times work.
I am offering my services as donation based. My Venmo/PayPal is linked in my profile. You get to decide how much you want to pay for this service. Donating helps me to continue to offer my services and justifies the time spent on them and the mental energy. Time is limited to 30 minutes.
What to expect: I will require one photo of the deceased with no other information. I will send you a message with 2+ paragraphs about the person. You can ask questions afterwards. It should be clear that I am speaking with the correct person based on what I write to you.
If I have multiple reading requests it may take me several days to respond to you. I typically limit myself to 3 readings per night.
I am also able to do a psychic reading if you would like insight on certain parts of your life, please let me know if interested!
Reviews: https://www.reddit.commmary92/s/8mQsKXuGNO
2024.05.15 00:25 LEBW1234 Extreme Hunger is scaring me away from recovery. What has your experience with EH been like?
I really, truly, want to recover. I want to be free of my ED. I have struggled with binge/restrict cycles for the past 10 years. This year, my restricting got to the point that I was diagnosed with anorexia-restricting type (atypical) and I am finally getting help which I am so, happy and relieved for. It's been a long time.
I began the process of recovery a few weeks ago when my dr diagnosed me, and since then, feel as though I have *binged* 3 times. Prior to this I haven't binged in maybe a year or two...it's really been mostly restriction and anorexia behaviors.
I can't tell if I'm binging again, or if this is extreme hunger. I don't "plan" it like I used to plan binges..it's more that, I'm just so hungry that I keep eating and eating and eating. It's always after dinner, even if I've eaten 3 meals and 2 snacks during the day. Right now I just had an episode of extreme hunger, and I really felt hungry the whole time, but now that it's done I feel so full and just don't know how to cope with this feeling of fullness. Likewise, most of what I consume during these extreme hunger episodes is peanut butter! Peanut butter from the jar, nut butter cookies, pb pretzel nuggets, bananas with pb, and all of these things all once, so the calorie count ends up being astronomical.
Is this binging or extreme hunger? Should I honor these episodes and just go with it, or should I try to hold back? I definitely feel like I need to "compensate" when this happens but that just leads to more restriction. I work with an ED nutritionist who has me on a meal plan, and I feel SO guilty for going off the rails with it when this happens! On days that I don't have extreme hunger I don't even meet my meal plan requirements, so maybe that's why I'm over-eating?
I don't know what to do. I'm feeling so discouraged and like I just want to go back to straight-up restriction, even though what I really want is recovery. Does anybody have a similar story they can share or knowledge to impart? Was your extreme hunger similar in type and frequency? Did it go away? Did it cause rapid weight gain? Did you honor it or not honor it?
Thank you <3
submitted by LEBW1234 to AnorexiaRecovery [link] [comments]
I began the process of recovery a few weeks ago when my dr diagnosed me, and since then, feel as though I have *binged* 3 times. Prior to this I haven't binged in maybe a year or two...it's really been mostly restriction and anorexia behaviors.
I can't tell if I'm binging again, or if this is extreme hunger. I don't "plan" it like I used to plan binges..it's more that, I'm just so hungry that I keep eating and eating and eating. It's always after dinner, even if I've eaten 3 meals and 2 snacks during the day. Right now I just had an episode of extreme hunger, and I really felt hungry the whole time, but now that it's done I feel so full and just don't know how to cope with this feeling of fullness. Likewise, most of what I consume during these extreme hunger episodes is peanut butter! Peanut butter from the jar, nut butter cookies, pb pretzel nuggets, bananas with pb, and all of these things all once, so the calorie count ends up being astronomical.
Is this binging or extreme hunger? Should I honor these episodes and just go with it, or should I try to hold back? I definitely feel like I need to "compensate" when this happens but that just leads to more restriction. I work with an ED nutritionist who has me on a meal plan, and I feel SO guilty for going off the rails with it when this happens! On days that I don't have extreme hunger I don't even meet my meal plan requirements, so maybe that's why I'm over-eating?
I don't know what to do. I'm feeling so discouraged and like I just want to go back to straight-up restriction, even though what I really want is recovery. Does anybody have a similar story they can share or knowledge to impart? Was your extreme hunger similar in type and frequency? Did it go away? Did it cause rapid weight gain? Did you honor it or not honor it?
Thank you <3
2024.05.15 00:25 rainbows-and-gravy Boomer twice attaches his mailbox to a tree on my property, even after post office and police get involved
Sorry, itās a long read. I have an update to a boomer being a fool story to share that happened today! I wrote about it a couple months back on a different sub, in case this story seems familiar. But then I deleted it, as I shared a lot of info in the comments and I donāt know if the boomer has Reddit.
Anyway, so I have owned my own home for 5 years and the boomer has owned his home since the 1990ās. The way mailboxes work where I live is the post lady only delivers to one side of the road. It makes her route twice as efficient as I understand it. Everyone who lives on the opposite side of the street has two choices. Dig a hole and place the post in the ground on the opposite side of the road or place a post in a 5 gallon bucket on the opposite side of the road.
There are four mailboxes on the side of my property, as my property is an acre (my box and three more boxes that belong to people living across the street). For the last five years, not a single issue, everyoneās box was either in a bucket or in the ground on a pole.
For reasons I donāt understand, while I was outside, I see boomer across the street messing with his mailbox in my yard. I didnāt have my glasses on, and I canāt see very far without them. So heās looking at me, but doesnāt say anything. I go on with my day, forgetting all about it. The next time I go outside, I notice that what he was doing was attaching his mailbox to a 75 foot tree on my property. Mailbox was on a pole, that was in a 5 gallon bucket and some cement keeping the bucket firmly standing upright. He put that entire thing in my yard by about 12 feet, attached it to my enormous tree with two tightly attached bungie cords at the top and the bottom. So he could have asked my permission first, but chose not to. I donāt know the guy, but we would cordially wave to each other in the past.
And in addition to this, I notice all the trees in that area (all on my property) have green xās spray painted on them. Like six trees total. I looked up and noticed the main electrical line for the entire neighborhood goes right through all those trees, including the one heās attached his mailbox on. The spray painted xās mean that the electric company has those trees slated to be cut down. This is because I live in a high fire zone and so the electric company is going around cutting down all the trees that could be a danger. I canāt see if the tree heās attached his mailbox to has an X or not, since heās tightly got the entire thing covered.
So, I call the post master and file a complaint to have his post office box removed from my property, as in the United States, itās against the law to tamper with other mailboxes, regardless of where they are located. Post master calls me back and explains that theyāre no longer delivering his mail due to the box being located on my property. He tells me that if the post lady gets injured trying to deliver his mail, I would be liable for her medical bills because she was hurt on my property. The post master said when the boomer comes in bitching at the post office that heās no longer receiving mail, heāll be told that he must remove it from my property. The post master tells me not to touch the box, but says the sheriff can remove it if I call them.
So I wait a while, to see if itāll resolve itself without escalating it. Weeks pass, heās not receiving mail anymore, but doesnāt seem to care or notice. I finally decide to call the sheriff as the electric company had come out to remove all the trees with xās on them, but left without doing any of it, which made me realize he possibly has his box connected to a tree that also needs to be removed.
So the sheriff comes out and she says she wonāt remove the box, but that Iām allowed to remove it from my property while she watches (which I also recorded for my own documentation). The entire transaction is like 2-3 minutes. When I move it, I realize his entire setup stands on its own just fine, without being attached to the tree in my yard. So sheriff tells me sheās going to try and find the guyās phone number so at least heāll know why heās not receiving mail anymore. I had actually tried to find his number too, before calling the sheriff, as I donāt feel comfortable going up to his door as a single woman. The tax assessor gave me his info, including his address, which is listed as a P.O. Box three miles away! Meaning heās not even using his mailbox, which is likely why he hasnāt noticed no mail being delivered. Anyway, I leave a voicemail politely asking him to remove his box from my property before calling the sheriff, but I have no idea if it was actually his number.
So I thank the Sheriff for her help and go back inside. Then I see on cam, as soon as I went inside, he went running out to speak with the Sheriff. I canāt hear their conversation, but can see it perfectly and his arms are flaring as heās losing his damn mind over having his box moved. He stands there yelling at the sheriff for exactly 12 minutes. Sheās just politely nodding her head the whole time. And then as soon as she leaves, he goes over to another neighborās house and arms flaring with very angry body language and lots of pointing at the mailbox, he talks to that neighbor for another 20 minutes. Then he leaves, which Iām assuming was to go yell at the post office 3 miles away.
Oh, also wanted to mention that when I removed the mailbox from my tree, sure enough, he intentionally covered up the green spray painted X on the tree with his mailbox!
So that should have been the end of it. Instead, today I look outside my window and I see this idiot boomer reattaching his mailbox to my property again. This is all so ridiculous and annoying to me, that I just snapped at that point and so I opened my window and yelled out āget off my property, you and your mailbox, youāre trespassing.ā And he starts yelling something with flailing arms again, but I canāt hear him from that far awayā¦so I go, āI canāt hear you way up there, I donāt want to discuss it, just remove you property from my property right fucking now or Iāll call the police and file a trespassing report.ā So then, I can see him on camera, he takes his mailbox on the pole back across to his side of the street, he digs a hole and places his mailbox at least 12 feet into his own yard. Meaning, they wonāt deliver it there either of course, as now itās on the wrong side of the road and itās in the grass 12 feet inward on his property when it must be on the side of the road to be in compliance.
For the last five years, it was just fine in the bucket on a pole, on my side of the road, not on my property. And every other house does it properly, which he can see as well! And heās lived here since the 90ās, knowing how things work. This is just so insane to me! All this drama over what?!? Like heās so entitled that he gets to just use my property, without asking my permission, even with the post master telling him no? Even with the Sheriff involved? Guy is nearly 80, has to be long retired. Did he just get bored or what? I donāt understand boomers at all.
TLDR: Without asking me first, boomer (who lives across the street from me) decides to attach his mailbox to a tree on my property.
submitted by rainbows-and-gravy to BoomersBeingFools [link] [comments]
Anyway, so I have owned my own home for 5 years and the boomer has owned his home since the 1990ās. The way mailboxes work where I live is the post lady only delivers to one side of the road. It makes her route twice as efficient as I understand it. Everyone who lives on the opposite side of the street has two choices. Dig a hole and place the post in the ground on the opposite side of the road or place a post in a 5 gallon bucket on the opposite side of the road.
There are four mailboxes on the side of my property, as my property is an acre (my box and three more boxes that belong to people living across the street). For the last five years, not a single issue, everyoneās box was either in a bucket or in the ground on a pole.
For reasons I donāt understand, while I was outside, I see boomer across the street messing with his mailbox in my yard. I didnāt have my glasses on, and I canāt see very far without them. So heās looking at me, but doesnāt say anything. I go on with my day, forgetting all about it. The next time I go outside, I notice that what he was doing was attaching his mailbox to a 75 foot tree on my property. Mailbox was on a pole, that was in a 5 gallon bucket and some cement keeping the bucket firmly standing upright. He put that entire thing in my yard by about 12 feet, attached it to my enormous tree with two tightly attached bungie cords at the top and the bottom. So he could have asked my permission first, but chose not to. I donāt know the guy, but we would cordially wave to each other in the past.
And in addition to this, I notice all the trees in that area (all on my property) have green xās spray painted on them. Like six trees total. I looked up and noticed the main electrical line for the entire neighborhood goes right through all those trees, including the one heās attached his mailbox on. The spray painted xās mean that the electric company has those trees slated to be cut down. This is because I live in a high fire zone and so the electric company is going around cutting down all the trees that could be a danger. I canāt see if the tree heās attached his mailbox to has an X or not, since heās tightly got the entire thing covered.
So, I call the post master and file a complaint to have his post office box removed from my property, as in the United States, itās against the law to tamper with other mailboxes, regardless of where they are located. Post master calls me back and explains that theyāre no longer delivering his mail due to the box being located on my property. He tells me that if the post lady gets injured trying to deliver his mail, I would be liable for her medical bills because she was hurt on my property. The post master said when the boomer comes in bitching at the post office that heās no longer receiving mail, heāll be told that he must remove it from my property. The post master tells me not to touch the box, but says the sheriff can remove it if I call them.
So I wait a while, to see if itāll resolve itself without escalating it. Weeks pass, heās not receiving mail anymore, but doesnāt seem to care or notice. I finally decide to call the sheriff as the electric company had come out to remove all the trees with xās on them, but left without doing any of it, which made me realize he possibly has his box connected to a tree that also needs to be removed.
So the sheriff comes out and she says she wonāt remove the box, but that Iām allowed to remove it from my property while she watches (which I also recorded for my own documentation). The entire transaction is like 2-3 minutes. When I move it, I realize his entire setup stands on its own just fine, without being attached to the tree in my yard. So sheriff tells me sheās going to try and find the guyās phone number so at least heāll know why heās not receiving mail anymore. I had actually tried to find his number too, before calling the sheriff, as I donāt feel comfortable going up to his door as a single woman. The tax assessor gave me his info, including his address, which is listed as a P.O. Box three miles away! Meaning heās not even using his mailbox, which is likely why he hasnāt noticed no mail being delivered. Anyway, I leave a voicemail politely asking him to remove his box from my property before calling the sheriff, but I have no idea if it was actually his number.
So I thank the Sheriff for her help and go back inside. Then I see on cam, as soon as I went inside, he went running out to speak with the Sheriff. I canāt hear their conversation, but can see it perfectly and his arms are flaring as heās losing his damn mind over having his box moved. He stands there yelling at the sheriff for exactly 12 minutes. Sheās just politely nodding her head the whole time. And then as soon as she leaves, he goes over to another neighborās house and arms flaring with very angry body language and lots of pointing at the mailbox, he talks to that neighbor for another 20 minutes. Then he leaves, which Iām assuming was to go yell at the post office 3 miles away.
Oh, also wanted to mention that when I removed the mailbox from my tree, sure enough, he intentionally covered up the green spray painted X on the tree with his mailbox!
So that should have been the end of it. Instead, today I look outside my window and I see this idiot boomer reattaching his mailbox to my property again. This is all so ridiculous and annoying to me, that I just snapped at that point and so I opened my window and yelled out āget off my property, you and your mailbox, youāre trespassing.ā And he starts yelling something with flailing arms again, but I canāt hear him from that far awayā¦so I go, āI canāt hear you way up there, I donāt want to discuss it, just remove you property from my property right fucking now or Iāll call the police and file a trespassing report.ā So then, I can see him on camera, he takes his mailbox on the pole back across to his side of the street, he digs a hole and places his mailbox at least 12 feet into his own yard. Meaning, they wonāt deliver it there either of course, as now itās on the wrong side of the road and itās in the grass 12 feet inward on his property when it must be on the side of the road to be in compliance.
For the last five years, it was just fine in the bucket on a pole, on my side of the road, not on my property. And every other house does it properly, which he can see as well! And heās lived here since the 90ās, knowing how things work. This is just so insane to me! All this drama over what?!? Like heās so entitled that he gets to just use my property, without asking my permission, even with the post master telling him no? Even with the Sheriff involved? Guy is nearly 80, has to be long retired. Did he just get bored or what? I donāt understand boomers at all.
TLDR: Without asking me first, boomer (who lives across the street from me) decides to attach his mailbox to a tree on my property.
2024.05.15 00:24 HighStrungHabitat Confusing session with my therapist left me feeling really hurt, could use some insight
So Iāve been seeing my therapist for two years now, and we havenāt had many issues for the most part. But I have noticed a pattern of my therapist bringing up the topic of power struggles/imbalances, and it always leaves me feeling very confused. For example, a while back after my first dog passed away, I tried to explain to her that it was hard for me to navigate our sessions bc I was so drained, and I asked her if she could help guide me through it by asking direct questions, etc, so it would be less overwhelming. Her response really caught me off guard bc she was acting very defensively and kept talking about power struggles, I felt like she was accusing me of questioning her ability to treat me, all bc i said it was too overwhelming to have the ball thrown entirely in my court every session, and it made me really angry, I felt so invalidated/degraded. That conversation definitely affected my trust in her and overall comfortability in therapy, I didnt feel like it was safe to keep bringing up so I tried to just move on, but as time went on I noticed that since it was never resolved, it was bleeding into the present, bc I stopped feeling like I could be completely honest but never addressed it again. I made the decision recently to bite the bullet and talk to her about itā¦. it didnt go well.
I am now even more confused and hurt than before bc I donāt understand what I did to warrant my therapist to respond so out of charecter, she is usually such an amazing listener, but today when I was trying to explain the situation, she became extremely defensive before I could even finish what I was saying. She thought I was accusing her of lacking empathy when my dog passed away, and that wasnāt at all what I even said, but she jumped in and snapped at me before I even finished what I was saying. I tried to clarify things, but it became increasingly harder to do so without crying, bc I didnāt understand why she was so frustrated with me. I never once raised my voice, or anything of the short but she just kept saying she didnāt understand and she was confused, no matter how many times I tried to clarify things. She then, once again kept bringing up power struggles, and mentioned that I apparently have this pattern of challenging/questioning her, in a way that isnāt helpful every couple of weeks, and she mentioned this was in her notes.
I seriously donāt get it, how does questioning a therapist automatically mean you are trying to engage in a power struggle? And how is anything I said even questioning her? She also, mentioned feeling devalued, and said that bringing up things from the past is passive agressive even if i donāt feel like it is. I felt like she wasnāt allowing me to have my own thoughts/feelings about any of this, bc even though I tried to clarify what I meant/my intentions, she was still defensive. I feel completely defeated, like no matter what I do itās just going to lead to what is actually an argument, even though itās not technically. My therapist always tells me any feedback is good feedback and that no emotions are bad, she wonāt personalize anything, etc. But doesnāt her behavior kind of seem like she is taking it personally? bc if she wasnāt, then why is she getting so defensive?
Also, not to mention my therapist knows that I have a hard time confronting something in the moment, due to issues in my family/social life, Iāve sort of been programmed to feel like itās unsafe to say something in the moment, and itās better to bring it up later. So to be told itās passive agressive when she knows why I do it, makes it even more hurtful.
I just feel so hurt and invalidated, Iāve been through hell this past year and Iām currently going through the most difficult time in my life, bc I lost my grandpa recently, This definitely didnāt help.
submitted by HighStrungHabitat to TalkTherapy [link] [comments]
I am now even more confused and hurt than before bc I donāt understand what I did to warrant my therapist to respond so out of charecter, she is usually such an amazing listener, but today when I was trying to explain the situation, she became extremely defensive before I could even finish what I was saying. She thought I was accusing her of lacking empathy when my dog passed away, and that wasnāt at all what I even said, but she jumped in and snapped at me before I even finished what I was saying. I tried to clarify things, but it became increasingly harder to do so without crying, bc I didnāt understand why she was so frustrated with me. I never once raised my voice, or anything of the short but she just kept saying she didnāt understand and she was confused, no matter how many times I tried to clarify things. She then, once again kept bringing up power struggles, and mentioned that I apparently have this pattern of challenging/questioning her, in a way that isnāt helpful every couple of weeks, and she mentioned this was in her notes.
I seriously donāt get it, how does questioning a therapist automatically mean you are trying to engage in a power struggle? And how is anything I said even questioning her? She also, mentioned feeling devalued, and said that bringing up things from the past is passive agressive even if i donāt feel like it is. I felt like she wasnāt allowing me to have my own thoughts/feelings about any of this, bc even though I tried to clarify what I meant/my intentions, she was still defensive. I feel completely defeated, like no matter what I do itās just going to lead to what is actually an argument, even though itās not technically. My therapist always tells me any feedback is good feedback and that no emotions are bad, she wonāt personalize anything, etc. But doesnāt her behavior kind of seem like she is taking it personally? bc if she wasnāt, then why is she getting so defensive?
Also, not to mention my therapist knows that I have a hard time confronting something in the moment, due to issues in my family/social life, Iāve sort of been programmed to feel like itās unsafe to say something in the moment, and itās better to bring it up later. So to be told itās passive agressive when she knows why I do it, makes it even more hurtful.
I just feel so hurt and invalidated, Iāve been through hell this past year and Iām currently going through the most difficult time in my life, bc I lost my grandpa recently, This definitely didnāt help.