Hi there,
I’d love to get some community input on how yall would analyze this risk and if you would decide to go (why/why not).
Context: 1. I have long covid 2. I live alone 3. I see no one (really, no one) without a mask on 4. I see two friends and they both wear kn95/n95s everywhere (and we mask around each other) 5. I am mostly housebound but usually go once a week to an art class - 8 people total, large room, no one else masks (I have gotten sick from another person there despite me masking - since then I’ve started using mask tape, betadine, and CPC mouth wash) 6. I work from home
I’m considering joining a Unitarian Universalist church and going to their Sunday Service.
I emailed them for details: 1. They don’t have any air filters or purifiers 2. They don’t usually have windows open 3. The room has an approved capacity of 200 people 4. They said about 50-60 people usually come 5. They said 2-3 people regularly mask and there is a culture where people mask if they feel ill
I would wear an n95/kn95 with mask tape fully all the way down and not take it off at all. I use a walker that has a water bottle slot that I could put a mini air purifier in but I don’t think that would do anything.
If I go a couple times and end up liking it I would ask them if they are open to me buying an air purifier for them (in which case, I would love recommendations for a room that size and capacity!) and I’m interested if anyone else have other risk reduction ideas :)
I totally expect some ppl to be a hard no and some an easy yes. I’m mostly interested in the why factor :)

[First] [Prev]
Dialog Key:
[Translated]: Dates, Units of Measurement, or other Grammatical terms will be retrofitted to be legible for readers while still staying true to their definition
{Exposition}: Immediate context regarding events, People, Entities, or other key points that allow for understanding amongst different cultures.
...Soon enough, however, the Humans’ ambition of ‘Bigger is Better’ would get out of hand when some Human Megacorporations found themselves with enough liquid assets to purchase entire star systems, where they would then colonize planets and begin massively developing these regions, building more [Dyson Swarms], stripping planets, and doing something so outrageously ambitious in such a short timespan: Encasing Ecumenopoli. Now, if you’re unfamiliar with the term then you’re clearly from another galaxy, or you’re on one of the newly developed systems made for agricultural purposes, But an Ecumenopolis is a Planet-Spanning City, though in this case, an arcology project designed with factory production in mind. They did all of this within 2, maybe 3 of their generations if things went behind schedule. For reference, outside of Human-controlled space, there are maybe 6 Ecuminopoli, all of which are capital worlds of the largest spanning empires in the galaxy, they took upwards of [Epochs] to complete, and yet these Humans are completing them almost every other [day] it felt like. Really putting the “Mega” in Megacorp.
Also, around this time, the Human population had begun to massively kick off after several generations of colonization efforts on exo-planets, and now the demand for genuine Human services exploded, and with it, a newfound trust for the Human race. Humans began appearing as servants in every corner of the galaxy, becoming often more than just employees. They would run your local restaurant, do your laundry, and watch over your young while you went to work. They would do your taxes, serve your drinks, and work in your factories for long hours if you gave them decent pay, thanks to their naturally high endurance. While this didn’t necessarily build trust between the denizens of the galaxy and Human Megacorporations directly, trust between the Galaxy and the Human race as a whole would be something these corporate entities would exploit during the next phase of their plan.
The next phase of their plan started when the Humans ran out of space to expand. They had been given complete and uncontested control over a [50 ly radius] around their home system, which included more than 1,400 star systems, yet in just 5 generations they had already colonized it, in 10 generations they outgrew it. Their territory now bordered on the Dekarr, the Ce’davi, the Cynn, the Preene, my people. They colonized every available system that wasn’t claimed or occupied nearby and then? Well, then they just started fighting each other again, With no further prerogative of expansion the Humans just went back to their old ways of murdering each other in increasingly potent ways.
Initially, many Nations surrounding Humanity were terrified of Mankind’s hyper-competitive nature and feared their rapid expansion would lead them into territorial disputes and skirmishes with nearby empires, of which the humans would most certainly come out victorious. Alliances were made specifically for this contingency, but over time it became very clear that Mankind didn’t care enough about external problems to launch border incursions on their neighboring states, and instead found it much more profitable to sell the technological marvels of their countless internal conflicts to the rest of the galaxy. Eventually, their border states were all put at ease.
You see, up until now I have yet to disclose anything about Pre-contact Human history, and as common knowledge as it is now, it was not something known about humanity for their first few generations in the GC until some historians managed to dig up their ancient history. Humans, as it turns out, are some of the greediest, most competitive, most cunning species ever conceived, partially born out of the hypercompetitive Deathworld they call Terra. They warred with themselves constantly throughout their early history. Combine this with their natural adaptability and survival dependant on the creation of tools, as well as their thousands of years of bloody warfare gives you a species with such advanced strategies of warfare, such intricate tools, nay, weapons, that we were (and still are) confident they could have held off the entire GC in a ground invasion of their planet during their second industrial revolution at the time {circa 1870 A.D. EST}.
However, this war-like nature that has been deep-rooted in their politics and their drive to solve internal problems with guns more often than words has been agreed upon by all parties as a hindrance to mankind, this was even accepted by Humanity for a while as an unfortunate byproduct of being from a Deathworld of their magnitude, built on the foundations of hyper-competition. That was until Humanity learned that they could effectively become the Bulwarks of the galaxy, and could [Make a killing] doing so. That’s when they learned to harness their war-like capabilities against one another, although they’ll never admit several wars were incited just to fast forward investments into R&D. And out of the ashes, blood, and sweat of soldiers and civilians alike, wonder weapons of cosmic proportions would emerge and flood the market, and by extension the Human economies.
We had no idea about any of this at the time, of course, and scrambled to grab the latest and newest of Human weapons tech. I don’t even think the separate Human factions knew, maybe their upper echelons or the few bribed to pull the strings. Much of that is still unclear to this day. But with the massive influx of liquid assets to these Megacorporations, their plan was set into action.
One Human Megacorp, Lionsare Biotech™, developed an innovative piece of gene engineering that could terraform any planet with relative ease. It was a combination of highly potent and resilient bacteria and algae that would grind up the raw minerals and rapidly reproduce and evolve to handle the uncountable new nutrients available to them. They would evolve and grow at 300,000 times the rate of the most hostile and competitive Deathworld ever discovered (Which, believe it or not, was not Terra but did so happen to fall within Human Territory, some green hell the Humans called “Catachan”). The latest trials of this product showed Flora emerging within [3 ESY], the earliest fish within [2 ESY] after that, Amphibians and Avians within [1 ESY] still, Reptiles within [8 Earth Standard Months] after that, and finally, Mamals, Apex Predators, Fungi, and insects find their place less in than [3 ESM] afterward.
Once Biodiversity is at the desired level, a pathogen will be released into the atmosphere of the planet, which will inhibit these hypercompetitive genes, increase the lifespans of the flora and fauna, and stabilize growth to have a healthy prey-predator ecosystem. Prior modifications to the initial bacteria and pathogens released would yield different results, different ecosystems, different flora and fauna, different levels of aggressiveness within ecosystem competition, and so on.
Any additional modifications would require further funding, but if you and maybe a thousand other colonists chipped together 2,800,000 GCS [2,300,000 USD (2024)] you could terraform nearly any barren world within the habitable zone of a star to your liking within [10 ESY]. You could also purchase more things like orbital mirror arrays to change the day-night cycle of your planet, as the Humans had done with Venus, Planetary EMF generators to reduce and defuse solar radiation, and Even orbital laser systems which could be used to terraform the planet and increase the temperature if need be.
As soon as these services hit the market the Galaxy [went nuts]. Stock within Lionsare Biotech™ skyrocketed, and their services were being demanded across the Galaxy from hundreds of different species. It usually took an AI about a year to craft the necessary bacteria to jumpstart the process as requested by the clients, but this was more than worth it for those trying to start a new life somewhere amongst the stars for relatively cheap.
Of course, as anyone settling a world would know, they effectively have to start their civilization fresh and build up a population, a supply chain, logistics, and a planetary defense network. Depending on the species you could have a fully self-sustaining planet within 5-300 generations. However, a lack of infrastructure and development led to some early problems, often taken for granted in these colonists’ former lives.

Hello, I want to hear people’s thoughts after explaining my situation and experiences as a way of seeking advice. I’ll list things in a random order.
The first time I traveled across the pond was to Europe, specifically to London, Amsterdam, and Kraków. I practically worshipped Europe at the time and thought of it as a wonderland. I don’t want to say specifically, but I experienced romance for the first time since high school. However, things didn't go too well in the end when we messaged each other after parting ways. When I finished my trip, I yearned to come back and stay longer than a week. This was two years ago.
Last year, I visited my ex-girlfriend from Poland for a month and I had the best time of my life. It was really nice spending time with someone the whole time while abroad, seeing her for the first time during our long-distance relationship. However, things changed, and it feels like I don’t have that similar, personal obligation to travel anymore. She was my first girlfriend. I don’t know if I’ve spoiled myself by always wanting to be with someone to travel and stay with, especially someone who I know and love.
Last autumn, I was in the Netherlands, and I got a really cute Indo-Dutch waitress’s number at a restaurant. I remember my aunt telling me how much she looked at me during our conversation with her. I wanted to see her again, but I was only there for a week and she said she was too busy with university and work. I’ve thought about her ever since.
From last December to mid-January, I was at the Philippines seeing family for the first time with my mom and had a good experience celebrating New Years there. I met a Russian girl at Boracay, and I thought she was the one, but she led me on and was interested in her ex from Moscow.
I’ll admit, I’m a hopeless romantic and simple-minded, and I don’t know if I travel for the right reasons. I don’t often experience romance in the States, and it can feel emptying, lonely, or indifferent at times. Girls always say they’re too busy with their schedules, but when I travel, most girls abroad are willing to spend time with me. I prefer traveling to see someone, but I’m not sure if I have that anymore.
I’m not having the happiest time in my life, given my health condition — chronic fatigue, loss of coordination, muscle weakness, but slowly recovering — and recently quitting university. I’m not sure what to travel for anymore. I have connections that I can meet and spend time with in Europe, but I feel anchored to stay home in California for some reason. I think it’s fear of going, having heartbreak again, experiencing bad anxiety, or just doing something that I’lll regret. I don’t have anybody in my life that feels close. I’m 23, and at the same time, I don’t know whether to sit and act grateful now or still do things that make me feel young again in my 20s.
Now, I have been watching Jacob Koopman’s busking videos of him singing romantic songs in the streets of Dublin, and I’m having THAT feeling again — Europe and love.
I’m hesitant to plan and buy plane tickets for this summer.
Should I visit a girl who I met briefly during one of my travels?
What should I do if I really think having love and a relationship leads to happiness?
Should I continue to do the things that evidently benefit me outside my home country?

Since the amount of flair options is a bit limited, I figured I go with this one? So sorry if it's the wrong one. But I need some advice and I figured the potatoes (and maybe even potato queen) know best. Also, this is probably going to be long (because speaking/typing coherently is not my forte), so I apologise in advance.
I'm (32F, probably adhd, maybe on the spectrum, idk if that matters; I am in the process of getting officially diagnosed or not) in northwestern Europe, but English is not my first language. As an adult, I've only been to 1 (christian) wedding (and bachelorette), for which I was present during the ceremony and the evening party. I didn't know about the formality at the municipality, but I didn't mind, it was quite chaotic anyway. I felt a little overdressed (my semi-asian/european noble upbringing is rather strict on formal attire for formal events; it's a long story) in my formal dress with tights and heels. I went out and handmade mr and mrs gifts, along with a home spa gift basket for each.
Now my second wedding as an adult is coming up in early July and this one is stressing me out. My friend (29?F), who I was classmates and secondary school friends with, instantly told me about the engagement, and subsequent wedding date when she could (more than 9 months in advance even I think). As a good friend, I instantly let my manager know I would be taking that day off for said wedding. She and I also discussed wedding dinner plans over lunch some time later. Now, we are not the closest (she is extremely busy with 2 jobs, their puppy and wedding planning), so I wasn't expecting to be included in any bachelorette or such. Months went by (without meeting and barely speaking because she's busy), and I had to ask her about the invitation, because I wasn't receiving one (I got scared I was no longer invited). She told me she had sent them out, but hadn't had the time to drop mine off, so I ended up receiving mine last month at the gym where we both go. Lo and behold: I'm only invited for the party at 8pm... In my experience (1 wedding as an adult and 3 as a child), weddings are an all-day thing. And from the way she discussed it with me, I thought that would be the case for me. Eventually, I mustered up the courage to casually ask about it, and turns out only 30 people are attending the ceremony, and like 80 (30+50) people are invited to the party. I'm not mad I guess, but it just feels weird to me. Apparently it can be a thing to do weddings like this, but I'm having a hard time getting comfy with that idea. It feels like I'll get to watch a first dance, grab a drink, and leave money. Which is probably a thinking error on my part.
The other problem with only being invited to the party, is that, other than the bride, I don't know anyone. She mentioned some people, and there might be 1 face I might remember from high school (we didn't hang out, but she hung out with the bride a lot). However, I have 2 default settings: confidently acting like I own the place or crying in a bathroom (especially with sensory overload; best case scenario for the last one is hiding in a corner playing on my phone). My friend is well off with her 2 jobs (and her fiance working), and besides her rather high-maintenance attitude for this wedding (and life in general a bit too; but I'm not close enough to have a super juicy bridezilla story), she seems to live life spending more than me. I don't care about that in general, since we can still do lunches together and chat (and I don't feel inferior in that at all), but her suggestion for me getting to know some people for the wedding was joining the bachelorette. However, she also semi-casually said it would be €100-€150 for everyone, without knowing what activity/activities is/are planned. As a student, I unfortunately cannot come up with that kinda money. So now I'm already getting worked up on how I might have a bad day during the wedding and just have a bad time for not knowing anyone.
And finally, along with the money issue, comes the feeling that I need to put a lot of money in an envelope as a gift, which I'm also uncomfortable with, because I feel I might/will be judged for a "low" amount since I can't afford €100+. I'd rather put a lot of time and effort into finding and making something to kinda "hide" the direct monetary value of the gift(s) and instead make it look like a more heartfelt and thoughtful one. This extends to what I think I need to wear. I feel I need to wear a €100+ gown/cocktail dress/etc. Which I am unable to find (since dresses are often too short for my liking, have long sleeves, casual/holiday, or are in white/red/black which I think are inappropriate colours), and the dresses I already have don't feel good enough to fit the "summer chic" dress code.
My mum suggested opting out, but I feel I can't disrespect my friend by being ungrateful by not going. My mum also said I must gift money (although she suggested like €25 since we are not thát close). All I know is that I'm confused and stressed out. I don't want to disrespect my friend, but I'm also desperately trying to find a way to mentally prepare for this wedding.
So: - How do I get comfortable being only a party guest (especially if I don't know anyone)? - What is the best way to go about the wedding gift? - Would it be okay to wear a (formal) dress I already own?
Sorry again if it's too long fellow potatoes, but the other wedding subreddits don't feel like the right place. I'm really at my wits' end. Please help a potato out! :(

so my gf who’s possibly BPD/NPD has been with me for over a year. six months into the relationship ,after a long honey moon phase, a friend of mine claimed he heard her speaking from a balcony near his place one night and that she was with two guys. he didn’t think much of it and couldn’t actually see her. I confronted her about this claim the day after and she denied it saying she never left home that night.
After this she slowly got distant until she completely ghosted me and left me hanging for almost 5 excruciating months, I was in so much pain during this cause I never got any closure and was torturing myself mentally. she re appeared at my place one night when i was finally feeling like I was healing and I took her back, she claimed to have been feeling depersonalized and that she was crying in bed and staring at a wall for most of this time.
I tried to be understanding but deep down I never forgave her for this and I never accepted that she was just in this bad state of mind and it wasn’t more personal or that some cheating was involved. I couldn’t get why she would put me through all that but I was willing to believe that she didn’t want to hurt me.
Here’s where I messed up, I tried to talk to her about my trust issues after this and she said she would be there for me but any discussion about it got quickly shut down and I could see it hurt her to talk about it, my feelings of distrust grew and I didn’t know how to talk about them. I saw she had a few chats with some guys I don’t know but there weren’t any messages (in one it was some guy asking her how she’s doing and she didn’t reply and in the other one she sent a hamster sticker but that’s all there was in the chat). anyway the problem was my doubts in her kept accumulating and I couldn’t figure out how to confront her until yesterday where I chose probably the worst time to.
yesterday she told me the story of how she caught her own mom cheating on her dad when she was 15 (through phone texts) and showed her dad the proof but they still stayed together till this day. I said something about how that must be a bad example for a child (cheating mom got no consequences for her actions, dad stayed despite the betrayal) and then told her how I felt like she must’ve found someone else and moved on from me back during the ghosting phase. (I admit this was probably the worst time to bring up my feelings but it felt like I could connect to the story) almost immediately she started to cry but seemed to decide not to. she said she would go to the bathroom but just got her stuff and came back and told me she’d be going out with a cold expression. it’s been 24 hours now and she hasn’t contacted me.
this whole thing has taken quite a toll on me, I started to think that I’m the one with BPD because of my trust issues, I don’t know if I’m out of touch and I should apologize for what I did or if I’m being manipulated. I guess it must hurt that I bring up these doubts after months of being back together and especially when she was telling me such a personal story. now I’m half expecting her to be gone again and it wouldn’t surprise me if she ghosts me again but I don’t know if texting her myself is a good idea. maybe I should just go NC

Original Prompt

Why Not?
Click
The shutter snapped and another photograph was added to the reel. Jane looked down at the exposure then back out over the valley spread out before her. Rolling green hills - nestled in at the base of several small mountains - glistened with dew. The morning fog glowed golden in the rising sun as it slowly rose up through the dense forest canopy.
She could feel the Earth breathing as she looked out upon it.
From her perch on the edge of the cliff, Jane turned around and looked westward, back toward the city. It was far enough away to still be shrouded in night, though the light pollution forbade any stars. The city, too, was enshrouded in a fog-like veil but it was not a pretty, glistening moisture like what rose up from the forest. It was dull, grey smog that infected everything it touched.
Jane couldn't breathe in the city like she could here.
"Ugh, what am I doing with my life?" she asked herself as she focused her attention back through the camera lens. She wanted to take these beautiful sunrises back home with her.
"Stupid apartment, stupid car payments, stupid boss, stupid city," her grousing continued. "Why don't you just move out here Jane? Get away from all that?" Lowering her camera, she rolled her eyes at herself. "Jeesh, I wonder why? Could it be because everything I have is back there?"
"Still...wouldn't be too hard to load the important crap in a truck and haul it away, would it?"
She looked down at the valley again. Imagined a little cabin there. That didn't seem so bad. A dirt road down through the valley. Her commute to work would suck but...
Click
Capturing the last photo, Jane sighed. It was a nice idea, but fantasy only.

Match Information:

 
Match: Almeria vs Barcelona
Competition: La Liga
Date: Thursday, 16th of May 2024
Time: 21:30 CEST / 15:30 EDT - Convert to local time
Venue: Estadio de los Juegos Mediterráneos, Almería - 15274 capacity
Referee: Javier Alberola Rojas
 

Lineups and Squads:

 
Barcelona - Official squad to be confirmed
GK: Ter Stegen, Iñaki Peña
DEF: João Cancelo, Álex Baldé, Araújo, Íñigo Martínez, Christensen, Alonso, Koundé
MID: Gavi, Pedri, Oriol Romeu, Sergi Roberto, Frenkie, Gündoğan
ATT: Ferran Torres, Lewandowski, Raphinha, João Félix, Vitor Roque
Unavailable: Álex Baldé, Gavi, Frenkie (injured) Gündoğan (suspended)
Not called:
 
Almeria - Official squad to be confirmed
GK: Diego Mariño, Fernando Martinez, Luis Maximiano
DEF: Edgar González, Aleksandar Radovanović, Alejandro Pozo, Marc Pubill Pagès, Álex Centelles, Chumi, César Montes, Bruno Langa
MID: Iddrisu Baba, Lucas Robertone, Dion Lopy, Jonathan Viera, Melero, Sergio Arribas
ATT: Largie Ramazani, Luis Javier Suárez, Adrián Embarba, Léo Baptistão, Anthony Lozano, Ibrahima Kone, Marko Milovanović, L. Romero Bezzana
Unavailable: Aleksandar Radovanović, Iddrisu Baba (injured) Largie Ramazani (suspended)
Not called:
 

Form guide:

 
Almeria

• Form: [L] W L L D
  
• Goals scored: 7
  
• Goals conceded: 10
  
• Last match: Real Betis 3:2 Almería - La Liga
  

Barcelona

• Form: [W] L W L L
  
• Goals scored: 11
  
• Goals conceded: 13
  
• Last match: FC Barcelona 2:0 Real Sociedad - La Liga
  

 

Head-to-head:

 

• Last meeting: FC Barcelona 3:2 Almería
  
• Date: Wednesday, 20th of December 2023, 19:00 CET
  
• Competition: La Liga
  
• Threads: Pre-match thread Match thread Post-match thread
  
• Highlights: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gkfa_RV8VkU
  

 

Comments (Post-match thread):

 
Author: dwilliam24 Score: 369 pts Source

Araujo with a mask is basically Lenglet

Author: tbrakef Score: 316 pts Source

Sergi Roberto! Our captain and most composed player in front of goal in 2023...

Author: -The-Term- Score: 289 pts Source

We barely managed to scrape a win at home against the team that has not won a single game this season lmao

Author: SirCraigie Score: 244 pts Source

Wembley Stadium filled with all players better than Sergi Goatberto:
https://preview.redd.it/huct3cum9i7c1.jpeg?width=1300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fa2dae5e3249acff5c11585fedc3b7bc90d4b8b3

Author: EditTheVideo Score: 153 pts Source

Roberto scoring twice proves that we are indeed creating chances enough for even a midfielder to score. Just apparently not enough for our front 3 to score in a sufficient manner.
Other than that, our pressing is still not as good as it used to be last season. The same can be said about our defense.

Author: itsvoogle Score: 144 pts Source

Game was exciting in all the worst ways possible…. Lol

Author: decho Score: 129 pts Source

Sergi Roberto Ballon d'Or when.

Author: kezzinchh Score: 105 pts Source

Wins a win, but this ain’t it.

Author: ParsaAtashani Score: 101 pts Source

We tried so hard to bottle this

Author: atn420 Score: 89 pts Source

It's a W, but to give 2 scores to the lowest team in La Liga, doesn't feel as good as it should, honestly.

Author: Working_Aioli8417 Score: 88 pts Source

Sergi Roberto saved Xavi's job today
Also Sergi should clearly be a higher choice than Romeu

Author: TrueCooler Score: 85 pts Source

https://preview.redd.it/l1dq8d2j9i7c1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dc5accd9810c6b2f9a7b59e66e4321984266fbe6
Al-Sad watching this performance

Author: Jelboo Score: 75 pts Source

I'm all here for the Roberto renaissance. Always been a classy, hardworking, intelligent player who has played all over the pitch and put in a shift. Many fans don't respect him but he is more Barça than any of us here on the internet can claim.

Author: HyggeAroma Score: 74 pts Source

BS that Roberto didn't get the MVP!

Author: Loose-Examination-39 Score: 74 pts Source

Who is Sergi Roberto? For the blind, he is light. For the hungry, he is bread. For the sick, he is the cure. For the sad, he is joy. For the poor, he is the treasure; for the debtor, he is forgiveness. For me,he is everything

Author: Kkasher22 Score: 72 pts Source

We struggled against a 20th place team…

Author: Professional_Code372 Score: 66 pts Source

We shouldn’t pay a dime for Felix

Author: atn420 Score: 49 pts Source

Who had Roberto scoring a brace on their card, I sure as hell didn't.

Author: Loose-Examination-39 Score: 47 pts Source

If Roberto has 10000 fans I am one of them
If Roberto has 1000 fans I am one of them
If Roberto has 100 fans I am one of them
If Roberto has 10 fans I am one of them
If Roberto has 1 fan I am the only one
If Roberto has no fans it means I am no longer on this earth

Author: tekkers_for_debrz Score: 45 pts Source

Our captain doing captain things. The best finisher in the club.

Author: Smooth_Profit_595 Score: 45 pts Source

what does it take for xavi to sub off lewy?
injury only?
dude missed half of the chances team created

Author: SteveTheNoobIsBack Score: 44 pts Source

WE WON A GAME

Author: Iyfebe Score: 40 pts Source

I like that the fans were giving confidence to the struggling players like Raphinha and Romeu. To Inaki as well after the mistake.

Author: SauceCarlicio Score: 32 pts Source

https://preview.redd.it/8axm1pgxdi7c1.jpeg?width=425&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f7d146c8ec268741bc6c00b9ff0a3feadf17de03
Xavi if Sergi Roberto didn't score a brace today

Author: TuffyTenToes Score: 28 pts Source

Imagine if the rest of the players cared for the crest as much as Sergi or Gavi do...

Author: guapetonydroga Score: 26 pts Source

Most of this subreddit has been trashing Sergi Roberto for years and look at him now. Take a bow at our current most composed player in front of goal.

Author: PLEASEDONTBANMEOK Score: 22 pts Source

Roberto im sorry, I wasnt familiar with your game

Author: tbrakef Score: 19 pts Source

What an absolute howler from Aruajo once again... Literally everyone has taken about 5 steps back from last season in terms on intelligence on the pitch..

Author: MrVaporDK Score: 19 pts Source

Roberto was massive! Torres and Raphinha were good.
Lewy played well and deserved to score.

Author: Numerous-Knowledge-3 Score: 14 pts Source

We make every team look like prime Ac Milan

Author: Forgemarine Score: 11 pts Source

Of course it is not Xavi's fault for the individual mistakes of players, but come on. This is dead-last Almeria, and we showed no real system and again with the 90 mins Lewy and no chance for Guiu.
Xavi needs to quit being stubborn in his substitutions, and his supportive staff for game plans should be improved. If not Barca should look for someone else

 

Quotes:

 
https://www.reddit.com/Barca/comments/1cqp6ze/open_thread_weekday_edition_21_may_2024/l450usx/
 

Latest News:

 
[Article] - Xavi: 'It's up to us' - fcbarcelona.com
[Article] - When and where to watch Almería v FC Barcelona - fcbarcelona.com
 

TV/Online:

 
Livesoccertv Liveonsat FCBarcelona.com
 

This is a roller coaster of a story so apologies. It will be slightly long.
So to start off about two months ago, I started streaming, and this guy was the second follower. We ended up playing some Fortnite games together, and eventually, I joined their group of friends to play some overwatch. We would play every single night all of us in a group and we ended up talking a little bit on Discord one on one through texting. After that one night, we had a little bit of a party night over the game with everyone and we created a Snapchat group so in that way, I was able to get his snapchat and he got mine. We started talking a lot more on there and we ended up playing one on one as duos.
It really was just friends at first, but then I started getting feelings for him and I was already considering breaking up with my current relationship so I ended up doing it honestly probably because of him. I really did have plans to break up with my boyfriend anyways I just couldn’t do it. It was my first relationship and I felt very stuck and that kind of gave me the push. I needed to get out of a really toxic relationship. In turn I turned out to be really toxic because I did cheat on him over the phone with this other guy. This is probably karma, biting me in the ass.
We ended up talking a lot and actually after about a month, he told me he lied about breaking up with his girlfriend that he’s stuck in a lease with. Instead of them breaking up 4 months ago, they actually broke up a week before me and my ex had. I was completely blindsided and was reconsidering the whole thing. Not getting back with my ex but in taking a chance with this new guy. He really didn’t raise other red flags other than that so I decided to keep going. I honestly was still getting over my ex and I was getting over it until he decided to move back to our apartment that we are also stuck in a lease with. He kept begging me for 5+ hours every single day to get back with him. I eventually leaned into the idea and cut things off with the guy for no joke a few hours and then I was able to get some alone time and change my mind and realize I was just convinced to come back to it, but I did end up having sex with my ex. I did admit to the new guy and he said he actually didn’t care because he actually expected it. I know that that was a really shitty thing to do and I don’t even know if this is recoverable because of this.
So I decided to move back home because I couldn’t be around my ex anymore not because of the feelings I realize that dumb and I’m never going to do that again, but because I can’t deal with him, literally begging me for 5+ hours a day I feel like I was going mentally insane after a week not to mention it was during final week.
So I moved back home me and the guy and I are talking. We’re in a relationship a month passes and everything’s good. he does live seven hours from me so that makes it a little complicated but we FaceTime all the time we text all the time and whenever we’re with our friends, we don’t bother each other too much. I’m happy as I could possibly be really thinking we were going somewhere and that maybe this would be a forever thing if we kept talking and I went over to his place soon.
Fast forward to yesterday I realized things have been seeming really distant between us. We haven’t called in two days, which is really weird because normally we’re on FaceTime going to sleep every night. I just figured since he was hanging out with friends that’s what he was doing and I was just overthinking so I didn’t bother him too much. Just a few texts here and there. The conversations of text started to seem really dry and we were on the third day of not calling. He was even off during the day and not hanging out with anyone and still didn’t call. Again, I have really bad anxiety. I thought I was just overthinking, but I wasn’t.
I get a snap saying that he needs time to think since he didn’t have time to do that between his previous relationship that he broke up with because of me. I feel like that’s important to know because how are you going to break up with someone because of me but then tell me that now you need time to think. Obviously I’m going to respect his decision but he said he still wanted to talk but not as deep as we were previously. He also said we need to slow down which I totally agree honestly. He also said the Sexting was going a little too fast and we need to slow down and again I absolutely agree. I just thought it was him who wanted to do that as well. He said “we can still text and play Fortnite but not talk on a deeper level like we have been. “ but at the same time he’s interested in being with me after he gets time to think and he doesn’t want to talk to anyone. He’s 25 I’m 20 I’m 21 in like a month. We’re like four years apart and a month. He said the age gap doesn’t bother him, but my lack of experience does. He says he did a lot in his 20s and he feels like I should have my hoe phase and do things that I wouldn’t normally be able to do in a relationship because I’ve been in a relationship since I was 15 years old. And in a way I’m free now to do whatever I want and he shouldn’t be the one to hold me back from that.
I am not blind to the fact that I probably shouldn’t have started another relationship immediately after my five and 1/2 year long one. It happened and there’s nothing can change about that. I mean, I guess I could, but I don’t want to change it. I’d like to keep talking to this guy and I really felt like I could go somewhere. he definitely wants to, but he needs time to think and get over this and that and there’s other factors but he didn’t mention what those are. I had said that I feel like im stupid to think this guy that broke up with his girlfriend would actually want me but honestly, it feels like you were just trying to break up with me but keep me on the back burner in case whatever it is doesn’t work out. He swears he’s not talking to anyone, but after scouring Reddit, it really doesn’t seem that way. I’m going to see what happens today, but I don’t even know if I’m interested in revisiting the situation with how he’s acting right now. But I wanted to hear some other thoughts on the situation and what you think is going through his head right now maybe from some other guys perspectives.

It happens sometimes that customers thinks that I am stuck in an inhuman life, and want to be saved. They declare to love me and promise me full support “Anyone who “falls in love” because of great sex has no idea what real love is.” They encourage me to stop doing what I do, but… with the deeper intention that I should commit to them and that they will take care of me, basically to engage with them in a serious relationship.
They see it very rosy, that I will move in with them and then become their grateful obedient horny housewife. Sex on demand and dinner on the table. An Angel in the Kitchen, a Lady in the Living Room, and a Whore in the Bedroom. When I gratefully thank them, disappoint them and refuse their generous offer, most of them are offended. They see it as a cold shower. For me it's just embarrassing that I need to have this conversation with a customer, because I don't want to be saved at all by any customer. Besides, as long as my body allows it, I want to keep doing this work, I think I do a lot of good for my customers.
Yesterday, same story again, during the sex, a customer clearly liked my service, he moaned heavy and continuously complimented me, that such a beautiful woman as I can do something different, that I deserve better. Rescuers can be very endearing, if they really mean it! But the truth is that most customers usually let their cock rules their head, they are just simply horny, and let’s face it, they don’t even know the real me!
A knight that saves the girl and they live happily ever after. Like the movie “Pretty Woman”, with ‘Julia Roberts’ (by the way, I love the movie❤️) the movie glorifies the save, a romantic fantasy. The truth is, I don't want a customer to save me, never asked for it and never will, I know what is good for me and my kids. I am more self-determined & self-supporting than most people. I’m doing this work 10+ years, mostly with pleasure.
No (more) “Pretty Woman” for me, been there, done that, and I am very clear about it, even though I have a couple customers I do fancy a lot, I always tell them that it can never happen between us! Now, don’t get me wrong, I do believe in love and hope to find one day my true love, but not at work, not a customer, that is like taking my work home.
I hope you enjoyed reading it; I write about what’s it like to be a prostitute. Why? Because I can't talk about it with my family and friends. I’m 42 and a single mom of 2 and joined REDDIT so I can tell in this community my story undisturbed.
I created my own community on REDDIT: “Life_as_a_Sex_Worker” hope to see you all there, many more post will follow. Any questions, suggestions? Send me a private message, big hugs to you all 💋XXX

TL;DR: at current price levels hedgies could theoretically still just buy the entire float or even ALL outstanding shares. What's 15 billion (at 50 USD a share), 24 billion (80 USD ceiling yesterday premarket), 38 billion (at ATH) or even 100 billion to them? Pocket change that would barely make them budge. And yet they're fighting toe and nail because the CANNOT get the shares off us. This validates everything we've been saying for 3+ years and is fool-proof proof that the squeeze never squoze.
Lots of smart takes on here over the past few days, explaining how options gamma or swap expirations or the recent solar flare may have triggered the current run and volatility. This is great guys and I enjoy reading those posts, keep it up!
But at the bottom line a lot boils back down to one incredible simple number imo: market capitalization, the number of outstanding shares multiplied by current share price.
Two weeks ago, GME traded at 10 USD per share. With ca 300M outstanding shares, this put us at a market cap of just 3 billion USD - barely more than cash on hand plus assets & inventory.
Currently we're trading at around 50 USD, putting us at a market cap of ca 15 billion USD.
Yesterday in premarket we hit a ceiling at exactly 80 USD four (!) times. Market cap then was (briefly) 24 billion USD.
At the all time high in January 2021, when they switched off the buy buttons, we traded around 500 USD, corresponding to a market cap of ca 38 billion USD.
If the price were to hit 1000 USD, GME's market cap would be ca 300 billion USD.
All of these values are – effectively – pocket change to shorts.
Ken Griffin's personal (!) net worth is estimated at around 38 billion, incidentally the money it would take to buy all outstanding GME shares at previous ATH prices.
Susquehanna International Group's disclosed a total of 576 billion USD worth of holdings in Q1 2024. They alone could buy all outstanding GME shares at 2,000 USD per share.
The combined net worth of the 10 richest people in the world (as per the Forbes 2024 list) is 1.55 TRILLION USD. Together, Bernard Arnault, Elon, Zuck, Bezos, Gates, Buffet & friends could still buy ALL outstanding GME shares at a price of around 5,000 USD per share.
My point is very simple: in theory, they could buy 100% of GME shares to get out of their troubles at any point, even at current price levels. Doesn't matter if they screwed up due to shorts, due to options & gamma, due to swaps or whatever. They've done their best to claim that "only" 20-25% of the float is officially shorted. Why not buy that back, close the position, take the (small) L and get on with life? Well:
BECAUSE. THEY. CAN. NOT.
We've said for a long time that "hedgies control the room, but apes control the exit". We've been ridiculed and laughed at for that for 3+ years. But the past week has irrevocably vindicated apes and shown that we've been f*cking right this entire time. They are fighting toe and nail to keep a lid on, to gaslight and scare us into selling, to catch stop loss orders, to re-stack the options chain against us, to survive another day.
But the past days have proven that shorts never closed and don't intend to ever close unless forced. We have them literally by the balls and now we will squeeeeeeze them till their ears fall off. Whichever you prefer to do that: by buying and hodl'ing, by DRS'ing, by smartly playing options and exercising calls: it all kindles the fire under the massive powder keg that they're sitting on, trying to keep the lid down.
Let's give them nothing and take from them: everything.

Hi! So I'm going to Japan from the 21st of October to the 8th of November this year. It's the first time for me to travel alone, especially this far (I'm from Europe). The flights are booked, nothing else yet.
This is what I came up with so far:
Day 1 - 4 in Tokyo:
During these 4 days I would definitely like to go to Tokyo DisneySea for one day, as this has been a long time dream of mine.
Days 5-7 in Kyoto:
Since I'm in Japan for about 3 weeks, I don't want to just see Tokyo. Kyoto has some really nice sights I want to see, and it seems to be easy to get to from Tokyo.
Day 8 to Hiroshima:
I really want to see Hiroshima, but I don't think I want to stay there overnight. So this would be a day trip for me.
Days 9 - 12 in Osaka:
In Osaka I really want to go to Universal Studios for one of the days.
Days 12 - 19: Back in Tokyo:
Since the first few days in Tokyo are definitely not enough and my flight home is also from Tokyo, I thought it would be a good idea to stay in Tokyo for the last few days, too.
A few questions I have at the moment:

1. Do you think this is a good plan for where to stay? Or do you think I should change it a bit or maybe even remove a city from it?
   
2. Hiroshima... is a day trip possible? And is it better from Kyoto or Osaka?
   
3. For someone who doesn't know incredibly much about all the sights there are, any advice on must-sees?
   

My mum has randomly bought a chow chow puppy out of nowhere and I don’t know what to do from here. She’s 11 weeks old, plays sometimes, loves food, that’s all I know. But I have no idea what to do with her on a normal day when I’m just sat at home. She normally lays in the bathroom or kitchen on her own even when there’s someone in the house, so she’s quite calm for a puppy, is this normal? I’ve never had a chow chow and to be quite honest my mum has just bought her without researching the breed at all so I’m not sure what they’re usually like. So when I’m sat in the living room while she’s in another room I feel bad but am I better just leaving her to it?

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So, if you’re just joining us, I work at a haunted zoo now. Since I’ve gotten some rest, it feels like I’ve got my head on straight, at least, so I’d like to continue where I left off.
I sat on the floor in the office after meeting the ghost until I’d settled my rattled mind (and realized I’d forgotten to ask her name, how rude is that?). I took a deep breath and got up off the floor. Walking over and falling into the rolling chair in front of the large screen of camera views, when I brought up the camera that covered the area in which I’d spotted her, she was still there, and it seemed she hadn’t moved an inch.
Sitting there, at a loss, I continued to watch her. The ghost hung around for another five minutes or so, appearing to look at a few things off-screen, though I’m not sure what. Then she walked off into the forest and left the view of the cameras. I wasn’t sure if she vanished into the ether or if she’d gone looking into the trees to look for something.
But that wasn’t the end of the job interview, so let me jump back there. It continued into what kind of animals the zoo had, with Andrew asking me how much experience I had with dangerous animals.
I took a moment to consider the question. “So, ah…I’ve been going hunting and fishing with a neighbor since I was sixteen,” I told him. “We always have to keep an eye out for gators, bears, and hogs. Then there’s snakes, of course…snapping turtles… Since I’ve lived here my whole life and been aiming for a job with wildlife for a long time, I know a lot about the animals in Arkansas in general. But good advice for all of the above is avoid them, so I’ve had encounters, but I don’t know if you’d say I have experience with them.”
“That’s fine,” Andrew said, nodding. “That’s an answer I’m satisfied with. Now, the ghost was the appetizer, Ripley; here’s the main course. To start with, the pay isn’t twenty-five an hour. It’s fifty.”
Staring in shock for a moment, I asked, “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. But that’d be weird to post online considering what applicants think we need, so I halved it.”
“That’s… Okay, why?”
“The animals are already here. You just can’t see them.”
I stared at him for a long moment, some disbelief worming its way into my expression, before saying, “Sorry, what?”
“There’s a chance you’d naturally never see them, or at least some of them,” he continued casually. “It depends on both your genetics and how long you stay on the job. I can naturally see six of them, but that’s it. Suzanne can see all of them, and more. Some are what people would label demons or ghosts. Or magic. Mostly you’d call them cryptids. The ghost was just a warm-up; I mentioned her first because it never takes more than a week to see her if you work the night shift. If you manage to handle her okay, soon you’ll be able to see the animals too. The more time you spend on the grounds, for weird reasons,” he said, wiggling his fingers in the direction of the back door, “the more you’ll be able to see.”
“So, this…this is a zoo for cryptids,” I echoed slowly. He nodded once, waiting to find out what kind of reaction I would have. I gestured vaguely around the room. “If this is a hidden camera show, will you cut me a check for showing up and participating?”
Andrew coughed out a chuckle and shook his head. “No joke. There are a ton of stories out there that have been written to death, pulverized until they’re not the Grimm stories of old and instead they’re Disney films. A lot of those stories come from what some humans have seen. There are dozens of other worlds pressed up against ours, and occasionally things come through by accident. If they’re smart, they’ll lay low and then make their way back when they can. If not, they become local folklore until someone helps them back. I’m just from London, but Suzanne is from somewhere else. She hires people like us for this zoo. Humans.”
Sighing, I shook my head. “That makes no sense. Why would she hire a muggle for a magic zoo?”
Andrew burst out laughing at that, and then waited to gather himself before he continued. “Fair point, but this is less about magic and more about animals, and you’re missing some information that will explain it. First of all, if I misjudge an employee, and they think they can make bank by outing the endangered and valuable animals we have, it’s easy to relocate the zoo.”
“Because magic?” I asked.
“Exactly,” he replied, ignoring the thread of skepticism in my tone. “That means it isn’t the end of the world if that happened, though it is a pain in the arse. But second…let me ask you a question. Speaking of reality shows, say the Discovery Channel put out a call to replace Steve Irwin when he passed. Imagine they had a line out the door,” he said with a gesture, “of people who thought they had the skill and natural talent to replace him, to take on everything he’d been doing his whole life. How many do you reckon would lose an arm, a leg, or their life, by the end of the day?”
My lips parted in surprise and I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re saying people from…wherever…they’re just as dumb as humans, but they’re worse, because they actually think they can handle these things.”
Andrew pointed the pen at me. “Things. Exactly. You called them things. Suzanne and her friends grew up with them and would call them animals. These animals have dispositions and temperaments that we’ve studied for as long as there have been scientists. Where Suzanne’s from, they know the weaknesses of these animals, and also they’re in enclosures here, even if you and I can’t see the walls because they’re invisible things called ‘wards’. If I hire someone who’s got magic on top of all that, they’ll have almost no instinctive fear.
“Everything here is nocturnal, and every one of them is a hunter. Some of these things? Humans see them and they pass out. Not that I want you passing out, but I need someone who is scared of these things, who knows to stay out of the enclosures no matter what. Not someone who thinks they can train them to do tricks, who gets close enough for them to grab a mouthful of hair and drown them. Once, we had a night shift manager injured, and once killed, because they didn’t take these animals seriously enough.”
Thinking back to the Sea World orca incident I knew he’d been referencing, I remembered wondering how someone at that level of her profession could be so careless as I watched the video on YouTube. It made sense when he explained it like that. I hesitated before mentally throwing my hands up and going all in. “So, why put this place here, then? If they’re endangered and also dangerous, why have a zoo at all instead of just a small reserve?”
He pursed his lips, looking disappointed in me. “Ripley. You know that already. You already said as much.”
Thinking back through our conversation, I said, “The rich humans who pay top dollar to see supernatural animals.”
“Not humans,” he told me. “But people, yes, and they are rich, and they’re making donations and spending their money on a ticket here because everything we have is endangered.”
“So…”
I just let my voice trail off and my mind started to drift. Andrew remained silent, letting me do so. There’s that thing people say, ‘I believe that you believe it,’ which is just a kinder way of saying, ‘Bullshit.’ Parents say it about closet monsters. Psychologists say it to people who say they’ve been abducted and probed by aliens. I wanted to say it to Andrew.
But I also wanted a job. If it meant working overnight at an empty zoo, that was fine. When it came down to it, especially when I took the tone of our conversation into account, this was a zoo specifically focused on preserving endangered ‘animals’, and it was allegedly doing important work. Also, if this turned out to be the real deal and I started seeing the animals, I would deal with it, just like I would deal with an enclosure that had a lion or tiger or gorilla. If it came with a ghost and invisible creatures, I really didn’t see what the difference was, if I couldn’t go in the enclosures either way.
On that note, I’d like you to imagine a kid who looks at a roller coaster, watching everyone screaming and grinning as they go up and down and all around and they’re like, ‘Heck, I could do that! That looks like a blast!’
Then they get on, the first drop hits, and they realize they’ve made a terrible mistake.
“All right,” I sighed. “I can’t say I’m going to turn down a job just because it’s going to be scary. Especially not one with this paycheck.”
Andrew smiled. “Awesome. There’s an adjustment process for anyone working here, similar to a dog that gets adopted, actually. I know the general guidelines of, ‘three days, three weeks, three months’ in terms of milestones, until they finally feel they’re where they’re supposed to be,” he told me, “and you can think of your time here along those lines. I really think you’re a great fit, and once you reach the milestone of working here for three months, I’ll officially consider you our new night shift guard. And I hope you’ll stay with us for many years.”
I nodded and smiled at the flattery of an employer wanting me to work a great job for them for a long time. I’d never had a dog, but those milestones were well-known among anyone who knew animals, especially dogs. The first three days, the dog is getting to know its new digs, exploring, and decompressing. At three weeks, they’ve gotten used to their environment and are starting to get comfortable with their surroundings and the routines of the humans they live with. By three months, they know the rules and follow them, they trust you, and they feel they are where they’re meant to be. I could only hope to be so lucky.
I saw the ghost two days ago and she has yet to make another appearance (for those who are curious, I asked, and her name is Leila), and I still hadn’t seen any animals. I did hear one, though, I feel compelled to note. A growling roar sounded from the lake on occasion, echoing across the vast zoo, sending a shiver down my spine. Whatever that animal was, it sounded gigantic.
Andrew said there was apparently a group that wanted to visit for a birthday and they were offering a huge donation, so he let me know they were making an exception and that this group would be walking through the park that night. That meant I’d be watching people watching animals that, as far as I could tell, weren’t there.
It was anticlimactic. Even the three people who came for the tour just looked like people, not like aliens or something eldritch from another dimension, and I stayed in the security office the whole time. Andrew was the one giving the tour. I watched them spend about five minutes at each enclosure, the hour or so that they were there passing without incident. It was clear that they were able to see all the animals, though, since they motioned excitedly at each enclosure and spoke to Andrew, who presumably answered any questions they had.
If they could see the animals, that was that. There was still that niggle in the back of my head, from my twenty-three years of life never encountering anything like ghosts or cryptids, telling me that this was ridiculous. Waiting for someone to knock on the door, a camera mounted on their shoulder, to tell me that it was a big joke and they wanted to see how long I’d play along. But from all I saw, this was a real place with real, invisible animals.
I do carry a taser and pepper spray in my capacity as a security guard. Though it isn’t for the animals, since they’re in the enclosures; they’re actually for the rare instance of a break-in. Andrew mentioned that it had happened several times it the past, someone trying to steal an animal in the hopes of selling it on the black market. They’d been successful before, but apparently my predecessor Roger was good at his job, and mostly they left in handcuffs.
I’ll be honest, I’m not a huge fan of confrontation, but my job was to call Andrew and then confront the person, not kick their ass. That’s what the police were for, or rather, the people Andrew would call in lieu of police in certain situations.
Fifty bucks an hour. That’s the key here.
Andrew hadn’t set up direct deposit, since he was sticking with a strategy of waiting to see if I’d continue to work there once I found out myself dealing with the animals (I’ve decided I am going to just call them animals). Instead, I got an old-fashioned check after my shift every Friday. The number on the first check was delightful. I went out that evening and had a big dinner at the local diner, order my most expensive favorites on the menu and a big slice of pie for dessert.
When it came to the paychecks in general, though, I had this weird feeling of not wanting to tell my dad and brother about the fact that it was actually $50/hr. I previously mentioned that my dad, his name’s Nathan if you’re curious, works at a local grocery store. Our town has a couple food franchises, but I think its size is just short of whatever threshold Walmart uses to decide where to open. He earns $14/hr. and that’s after the tiny raises he’s gotten over the past thirteen years.
That’s not to say he’d feel bad about not making as much as me. On the contrary, he would be ecstatic for me and really proud. But, like me, he’d be suspicious. That hourly rate was the biggest hint that this was more than just a private zoo for cryptids. And as soon as that fat check cleared without problems, my dad wouldn’t be satisfied with reassurances; he’d want to come visit the zoo and look around.
I’d told him it’s a private preservation with scheduled (expensive) visits only and that it had only eleven animals, so he’d been appeased by me brushing off the idea of a visit. Also, I took a few photos of my workplace; one of the security room, one of me sitting in my chair, one photo of the many screens I watched, and a selfie where I was feigning sleep out of boredom, slouched in my chair with my mouth open in a faux snore. That let him feel like he knew where I was and what I was doing, and that I was safe.
But if I told him I was making double what he thought, my father would practically order me to quit. No job was worth my safety, he’d tell me. I was quite of the opposite opinion, however, considering how crucial any and all conservation efforts were these days. Especially with the steep extinction levels due to humans competing with other animals for space, not to mention climate change. Working in any job that helped preserve species and keep ecosystems in balance, or put them back in balance, was so important.
Then again, my father would also point out something I had realized right away: the fact was that I was working with endangered species that were not from Earth. I wasn’t helping my planet. To be honest, though…that didn’t matter to me. Especially after that talk with Andrew about why he hired a human for this job, I figured whichever dimension these animals came from had the equivalent of us, razing forests to the ground, clouding the planet with pollution, and leaving the animals with no avenue of recourse when yet more land was taken from them.
I really do hope to keep working here for a long time, though, and not just because of the money. I can’t help it; I want to know what these things were, and I want to work with them, to do the job of a zookeeper. The same way you go up to the chain-link fence to get close to a carnivore on the other side who thinks you’d make a nice afternoon snack. You just want to be closer to them, to experience that incredible, daunting feeling of being in their presence.
Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t long before I got what I wanted.
The day after we had the tour go through, I was doing my sweep when I saw the ghost again. She was sitting on a small boulder in the same area I’d seen her the first time, looking identical, blood covering the front of her slashed shirt, the wounds visible underneath. I stopped and stood there for a moment before I decided to raise my hand in a small wave.
The young woman cocked her head at me and raised a hand in the air in an imitation of my gesture, her expression showing a bit of curiosity.
She was low-key, seemingly not concerned with my presence, looking at me as a novel phenomenon in her world. I wondered what that world consisted of. Was she always here, sometimes visible and sometimes not? Or did she have another world next to ours, in the ether, where she left everything in this world behind and floated in her disembodied form? Did she still feel emotions? Was that really curiosity on her face, or was I projecting? Did she feel happiness? Fear? Did she have the option of moving on, or was she stuck here?
Many questions that I might never get the answers to. And that was assuming Andrew knew the answers, since I’d never met Suzanne Cooper and he hadn’t even mentioned that possibility. This place was clearly her baby, but I’m sure running it was a lot of work. Plus, if she was rich enough to own it, she was rich enough to have other businesses and charities to run.
When it comes to the enclosures, they’re all wrapped by a barrier of some kind, though never one that seems adequate. There was not a single place with the ugly metal weavings of a chain-link fence, and no stretches of circular razor wire. Instead, there are nice fences. Black iron, or wrought steel fencing in a similar style to the one circling the perimeter of the zoo, just shorter and with different patterns. Or a spaced picket fence, the wood stained in some tone of brown, or a split two-rail fence. As if to say, ‘This is the border of your enclosure, but we’re just letting you know out of courtesy.’
When I started to pass enclosure number seven last night, a young woman’s voice spoke, “Hello.”
I startled, unaware that I hadn’t been alone. “Oh. Hi,” I said, staring at her standing a few yards in.
She had been next to a large tree and I hadn’t seen her. This enclosure was behind a picket fence, and she walked through the large area of wild grasses and flowers that stretched across the other side of the fence. There were fewer tall grasses closer to the fence, which I guessed was because it had been tromped down by her regular pacing along it when there were visitors, or if she wanted to see the various enclosures of the zoo. Her sudden appearance was a bit weird, considering I had been expecting to see a cryptid and instead I was looking at, it seemed, an attractive Asian woman.
She wore a black kimono, the soft silk robe draped gently over her body, with beautiful patterns of cherry blossoms, more so over her left side, and red and blue birds with their wings spread. A sash wrapped around her abdomen, she wore socks and sandals on her feet, and her hair was up in those rolls that gave volume to the style.
I was no expert on any fashion, much less that of another country, so I just assumed it was all traditional Japanese clothing. Most likely, the visitors who came liked to see a certain time-honored style and that’s what she stuck with. Or maybe she played on stereotypes. That would be amusing.
“I’m Yui. It’s nice to meet you,” she spoke, arriving at the border of the fence and holding out a hand for me to shake.
I’d been standing about three yards away from her, and I’ll be honest, muscle memory tried to kick in. But I only made it two steps, my hand starting to rise, before I froze, the hand falling limply at my side. “Nice to meet you, too,” I answered, my voice quiet.
Damn. I wonder how many times that honey trap works back where she comes from.
The pleasant look on her face faded, and she lowered her hand. “You won’t shake hands with me? Isn’t that rude?”
“I mean, I kind of like my hand where it is. You know, attached to me.”
Her demure smile widened into something more amused. “I would never do something so revolting.”
Looking her up and down, as if more visual information would give me more knowledge of what she was, I asked her, “What would you do?”
“I would be less wasteful,” she said softly.
A finger of ice trailed down my spine, and I had the sudden image in my head of her grabbing my outstretched hand in an iron grip and yanking me over the fence, leaving me to sprawl on the ground. Then killing and consuming me efficiently, without a single careless step, the same way humans slaughtered pigs, using everything from the hog but the squeal. I was struck with a shiver at the idea of her consuming everything from me but my screams.
Slowly, I took one step further down the path, then another. Just as I got to a walking pace, though, I realized the woman had started walking too, in the same direction. I’d have eventually gotten to the end of her enclosure and keep going, leaving her behind, but she spoke up. “Are you leaving?”
I came to a stop, meeting her gaze again. “My job is to walk the zoo every hour. Then I’ll get back to the security room and stay there until my next walk.”
“Have you met the others yet?”
I hesitated before saying, “Just Leila.”
She blinked languidly. “That means nobody welcomed you here.”
“Andrew did.”
She didn’t reply to that. Instead, she slowly started to lean forward, and I flinched backward a few steps further as I saw insect legs start curling out from her back.
No. Not insect. Arachnid.
The eight legs ended in small ‘paws’ with tiny claws, a layer of hairs covering the leg from top to bottom, like any typical tarantula. I took two more slow steps back and my mouth went dry as the jointed legs just kept lengthening, until they were large enough to lever her off the ground.
My gaze had been on the spider legs, but my heart skipped a beat as I realized her human legs had melded together and turned into a bulging abdomen. Her skin was shifting to a carapace, eventually all the way up to her shoulders and down her arms, her fingers elongating and her nails stretching to claws. From there down, her body was that of a pale tarantula with pedipalps the size of my arms and piercing fangs in her jaws that looked like they could take my head off.
There was a moment, my vision blurring, where I was worried that I might piss myself. The part of my brain that still had its humor intact in that moment told me that I should keep an emergency set of clothes in my car, or at the very least, start wearing Depends to work.
“I show you my true form,” she said softly, her voice now raspy like an eighty-year-old after a lifelong smoking habit. “Welcome to Suzanne Cooper’s zoo. The night shift guard for many years was Roger, before he retired and the zoo moved, and I miss him dearly. What should I call you?”
I choked on my words. There was no way my throat was going to cooperate enough for me to clearly get a sentence out. Instead, I realized my legs had taken control of the situation themselves, unsatisfied with my conscious brain’s decision to stand and stare, taking steps backward. I backed up a yard, then five yards, then ten.
My mind focused on the fact that spiders don’t waste anything, and pictured my demise. I’d be wrapped in a cocoon, killed, and made nice and mushy before she had me for dinner.
The whole time, my brain was a frenzied mess, my pupils were probably the size of dimes, and I was staring at that tiny, pathetic fence between her and me. There was so much adrenaline pumping through my body that I felt like my bones were vibrating. The fence was, to my eyes, the only thing between us. The only thing keeping her from tackling and killing me. My only hope was that she’d do it quickly.
But she didn’t move. As I absorbed her innocent, polite words, the look on her face was calm, and I wondered if this was typically the way a conversation went before she devoured her prey. I wondered how many people she’d eaten. Not humans, not people from Earth, but the ones from where she came from. The fact that she doesn’t scare the shit out of those people means they’re staggeringly dumber than humans.
Finally, I rounded a corner, both relieved at having her out of my sight and worried that she would take that moment to come find me. When she’d been within eyeshot, I had at least known where she was and could run in the other direction. But I didn’t hear the sound of faint footsteps moving rapidly toward me. All was quiet, in that deep, smothering way that only an empty business in the middle of the night in small town America could be.
My hands trembling, I barely paid attention to anything but the confirmation that my surroundings were free of the colossal spider as I finally got back to the door. Grabbing the handle and letting my eyes dart around for about ten seconds and my ears prick for the slightest sound, I finally swiped my key card across the pad and went inside, shutting the door behind me and engaging the backup deadbolt.
Maybe that was why they had decided on keycards. If I was running from something and panicking, using an actual key or inserting the card like at a hotel would keep me from getting to safety considering my hands were shaking enough to mix a margarita.
Walking over to my chair, I fell into it, letting my body flush itself of terror as I looked up at the cameras. There she was, still in arachnid form, exactly where I’d left her behind that rinky-dink fence, casually looking around and slowly pacing back and forth. I stared at her as my racing heart gradually slowed, and a minute or so later she turned on her eight legs and walked back into the trees.
Whatever invisible fences the enclosures have apparently work, which is nice, because I wasn’t keen on getting killed by one of the creatures here. And that’s what brings me here, spilling out everything that’s happened so far. Because nearly passing out from terror isn’t something I wanted to deal with at work, obviously, but I keep going over what she did in my head again and again, and I feel like I reacted like a child who spotted a wolf spider on their bed. I started to worry for my overactive sense of self-preservation, at least in my capacity as an employee here.
The spider didn’t even try to hurt me, and so I was feeling a bit foolish. Even annoyed, actually, at the fact that I’d freaked out so hard and took off instead of trying to engage in at least basic conversation. I got the sense that she wasn’t at human-level intelligence, but I was never going to be able to hold any level of conversation with an alligator.
Sure, she did mention that she wouldn’t be so crass as to yank off my hand because she’d rather just have my entire corpse, but wouldn’t a wolf do the same if it was hungry? Wouldn’t any carnivore? Actually, they probably would’ve been satisfied with one of my hands. The fear here was from the fact that she turned into a giant spider. If she’d turned into Clifford, I would’ve reacted the same way, if not better than, meeting Leila.
With that, I decided I’m staying on the job. Considering how frustrated I can get with foolish people, it’s a bit hypocritical, and I’m being a bit of an idiot. But…there are definitely wards keeping them in their enclosures. Also, I signed up for creatures for another dimension, whether or not I believed in them at the time, and I will not let encountering my first one in an objectively boring way be the reason I quit.
The money is a factor, I’ll grant you. Of course it is. And I can’t spend it if I’m dead, but all signs point to surviving as long as I don’t do anything dumb. Also, yes, I’ll admit there’s a not-so-little voice in the back of my head that’s desperate to know what else is here. I never thought I’d do something like this, but finding out these things are real, I honestly do want to learn more about them.
Still, though, I decided to call Andrew at the end of my shift to ask if the pepper spray and taser I carried worked on a certain spider, as well as the other animals I’d yet to meet.
​
Previous
***
/storiesbykaren

I had my first seizure on May 3rd (at work, so luckily lots of witnesses). Apparently it was tonic clonic, I stopped breathing for part of it, and the whole thing lasted 47 seconds. I broke my glasses in the fall, so now I have a massive scar across my nose as well.
The ER doctor did say that anyone can get a seizure and it’s entirely possible that I’ll only ever have this one. The ER couldn’t do an EEG at the time, so no idea what the cause was, and I might never know. I have an appointment with a neurologist, but the soonest I could get in was August. So I have at least two months (barring someone cancelling so I can get in sooner) of being stuck in limbo and not knowing what caused it or getting any treatment, if warranted.
To my memory, literally no time passed at all between going unconscious and waking up, and I had no sensation or warning before it happened. One second I was sitting down in my chair and then I blinked and I was on the floor. I can’t think of any changes to my routine or unusual thing that happened that day that could be a trigger: it was a bog -standard day for me.
So now I’m stuck in my house all day (can’t drive for six months!), with the potential to suddenly pass out at any time with zero warning, with no idea what any triggers could be, and knowing that I can injure myself if I have one. I’m honestly afraid to leave my bed because what if I fall down while no one’s home? What if I’m in the basement doing laundry and have a seizure there? Or on the stairs? What if I’m in the bathroom and hit my head on hard tiles, or outside getting the mail and fall into the street? How am I supposed to do anything normal like this?

This is a crossover fanfiction between original fiction titles: Nature of Predators by SpacePaladin15 and The Last Angel by Proximal Flame respectively. All credit and rights reserved goes to them for making such amazing science fiction settings that I wanted to put this together.
You can read The Last Angel here: Be warned, it's decently long, and at its third installment so far. I highly suggest reading it before reading this, or this story will not make sense.

Otherwise, enjoy the story! Thanks again to u/jesterra54 and u/skais01 for beta and checking of work!
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Memory transcription subject: Governor Tarva of the Venlil Republic
Date [standardized human time]: October 22, 2136
The reveal of the Arxur's assistance of Earth was a unsettling, but mostly overlooked note to add to the headlines filling news sites today on Venlil Prime.
UNKNOWN SHIP DEVASTATES FEDERATION FLEET ABOVE EARTH, HUMANITY LIVES
While the ship wasn't currently unknown to us, given the UN's report, General Kam had advised that it would be better left unspoken of what capabilities we did know, so as to not worry the populace. "Leave causing panic to the humans" he said. But I heard the worries and anxious rumors throughout both social media and verbal conversations...
"That ship destroyed an ENTIRE fleet!?"
"Oh Protector, please tell me its not an Arxur vessel..."
"Why don't we know more?"
I couldn't help but feel for my people. I came to disagree with Kam's advice more and more, as I wished desperately to allay their fears of it being an Arxur superweapon, or that it was going to destroy us soon, or other similar worries.
Are you so sure yourself, Tarva? Even the UN government is scared of it, and it supposedly was made by a future Humanity...
I tried not to focus on that pang of paranoia. I just hoped soon enough the UN would make a statement on the Nemesis already. As I accompanied Noah to the UN's remembrance speech today, I did my best to scan for the feelings worn on peoples faces. The Venlil were unsettled as before, but the human refugees were an odder story altogether.
They were devastated, and scared as well as us Venlil were. But on top of it, I could see a common face worn of confusion. The information disambiguation hadn't made its way to Venlil Prime like it had Earth, and as such they were as much in the dark as the public here was. I could only imagine their uncertainty, knowing their race was likely saved by something they had no idea about.
Noah spoke out of nowhere. "I feel for the refugees here. Forced to an unfamiliar place, so unofficially hostile to them, and now they learn of Nemesis like this? I'd be as confused as them in their place." He checked his suit, attending to shift it so slightly as to make him look better in it. "I also can't imagine your opponents didn't run the whole ball with their existence here, too. Are we taxing you harshly, Tarva?"
I gripped his hand tighter. "No, Noah. While there are those that want you off-planet, I will not let them kick you off. I'll fight for you, no matter the cost."
"Seems like anywhere we go, we cause a fight some way or another. Pops always said space was our ticket to a better future, yet all we seem to cause is trouble for merely existing."
"Noah, its not your people's fault we're afraid of you. The Arxur are to blame for that, and we're at fault for holding it against you. What happened to Earth was not your doing, you tried your best, and it just was not convincing enough for millennia of cultural momentum."
He smiled at that, a muted, but still genuine smile. "Thank you Tarva. I'm glad you see the best in us, even when we don't."
I continued to scan the crowd, looking for the sight of Meier. He always seemed alight in diplomacy whenever he was around, it was a strength of his, outshining the room like that. I could only hope he was doing okay in the current state of Earth. The last time we talked, he seemed very tired, very...frustrated with everything.
But I was glad to see him in some his element soon after, amongst a group of dignitaries from other Federation species. He seemed to be listening to a Mazic diplomat, one I remembered by the name of Cupo. Sadly, however, despite Meier's attempt, it seems the conversation was not on a good track.
"-they're a menace to the rest of the galaxy, and you just let them in, not so soon after this ship blindsided an entire Federation fleet out of nowhere!?"
Meier dejectedly sighed. "Cupo, I thought I already told you, when the Arxur showed up, we had no capability to tell them to take a hike. They were ten-thousand strong and we barely managed several hundred ships left. That they even engaged in dialogue rather than just subjugation was a surprise to me."
"That doesn't make much sense either, Elias Meier. Since when do the Arxur play merciful? You're not telling us something here, and it curls my trunk in knots. How can we trust you when you can't even give us the details on what that ship is, or why the Arxur even showed up in its stead?"
The Mazic was not interested in Meier's friendly act, not giving any room for benefit of the doubt. The other diplomats crowded around began to mumble in agreement, as Meier stood there, formulating some response.
"What we do know about the ship and the Arxur, we'll clear up publically later in this event. But neither were expected by us, you have to believe me. Humanity is just as confused as you all are on the results of that battle, and-"
Cupo interrupted this time, clearly not willing to hear an explanation out. "You're running out of trust, Human. We think you ought to be given a chance; as the empathy studies show, you're not the Arxur. But associating with them as you are, with little transparency is not doing you favors with us, and if you want further association with us, you'd best cut ties with those monsters sooner, rather than later." The Mazic's ears hung in displeasure, and I could sense the nervousness in Meier as he stood down one of the races in the room far bigger than he was. Whether Cupo knew it or not, Meier was intimidated by his presence, and was trying to keep it cool to some degree. "We'll at most help with the Gojid refugees at the moment, as they've suffered both of your kind, but beyond that, consider it on hold until that problem is resolved."
They walked away, and some of the alien crowd amongst them followed. The only ones still sticking around seemed to be a Yotul diplomat, a Nevok, and a Fissan. The latter two stuck obviously to discuss more trade details, seeking to cut the other off from Earth to a degree in hopes of exploiting the system, but the Yotul was a surprise. I didn't even realize they had sent one this way.
Given the relatively new uplift of their world, I didn't imagine the Yotul having much stake or spread throughout the galaxy, so how did humanity...?
Meier turned to him. "Ah...Ambassador Laulo, I'm sorry you had to see that. We're...not doing so hot in the grand scheme of things, and some relations are boiling over as a result."
Laulo enthusiastically shook his head in denial. "No, it's okay! I understand the feeling of that persecution, even if it's for a different reason. Feels like the galaxy kicking you while you're already down."
"I appreciate any help we can get in regards to this. You're one of the very few races left that's pledged some sense of unconditional aid. I promise, with all I have in my power, I'll try and return the favor-Tarva!" Elias noticed my presence at last. "I...uh, how long have you been standing there?..."
"Long enough to hear most of it. I'm sorry the more neutral species aren't helping any, Meier. But that's not why I'm here, specifically. We need to talk about the human refugees."
Meier looked at me funny with that statement, as if he wasn't expecting something out of me. "I see...I hope it's not anything too bad, is it?"
I silently cringed at the exact words. Noah filled in the details in my stead. "Meier, the refugees here are seeing images of Earth, of those not too horribly in shock to do anything, there's been an uptick in suicides...a massive uptick. They aren't aware of the full story, due to the Venlil government's reluctance to publish the report sent here publicly. This remembrance speech better give the people here a semblance of peace, of stability, because there's an extreme lack of morale left in the camps."
Meier grimaced and scanned the crowd, glancing at the humans that were here. I assume he too could see how dejected many were, how many seemed at the end of their rope, coming here for the slightest hint of hope left in their lives at the news. They would need some good news, or there was a chance some wouldn't be here tomorrow.
I felt for them. They didn't deserve this, and our intentional censor of the details, so that Meier could deliver the news likely didn't help with the rates.
"I get that Noah. I really do. What happened at Earth was a tragedy, and the death toll is nearly 800 million. You could likely gather a group of ten or so humans from anywhere, and one of them lost someone close to them. I'll...do my best to raise their spirits, there's plenty to talk about here. The alien diplomats just aren't making this easy..." Meier gestured to the clearly forming bloc of neutral species dignitaries that gathered in the room. They did not seem to want to talk further on any support of Earth until some demands were met, mostly on why things were kept so information-blackout heavy at first. The speech would have to be twofold, at raising human refugees' spirits, and at convincing some of the touchy species to support Earth.
His work was cut out for him.
"Did you wish for any assistance on that front, Meier?" Noah offered. His kindness shone through even in the depths of despair that wore
itself on humanity currently. His soul was purely sweet and kind, regardless of his predator disposition, I so deeply respected that about him.
They began to talk shop, Noah mentioning his current experiences with human refugees upon Venlil Prime, and what topics Meier ought to add on and hit on in his speech. As rushed of advice as it was, Meier seemed determined to fit it in somehow, but I knew he had a silver tongue, his capability to navigate and convince was downright bewildering, present company excepted of course. Nothing would get those species over his diet anytime soon, so I could only hope he could appeal to their empathy as another sentient in this case.
I believed in them. If anyone could turn the state of the galaxy around, it would be these two.
Memory transcription subject: Dorian Abder, Commons Member of Parliament
Date [standardized human time]: October 22, 2136
I sat on my desk, watching out the window of my office at the Westminster Palace, reminiscing on the sad scene outside. Another body under cloth cover, wheeled out on a stretcher from a home surrounded by paramedics. Another swept up in despair, seeing the state of our beautiful planet, of our populace, so brutally scarred, enough to take their own life.
How many was it, so far? Nearly a half-percent suicide rate for every hundred thousand in England? More than eight times the highest resting rate in our entire history. And we were hardly hit in comparison to the rest of the world...how are they doing if it's this bad here?
I leaned back in my chair, back cracking in old age, forcing myself away from the scene outside. I tried to not think about it, just tried to focus again on my work. On the coordination efforts with the UN, the Arxur, and any other races seeking to help. But it was a mountain of work ahead, a peak of papers I could barely see myself climbing in an entire week, let alone the mere day it was handed down here.
We've all lost someone. Not a single soul hasn't been touched by the Federation's bombing.
I thought about how the targeting of cities took. How they focused so heavily on Africa and Asia, the most booming corridors of population on Earth. How they erased 78 cities from existence before their fleet was devastated by The Sword. They weren't aiming to cripple humanity, on industrial depots and power plants, but to exterminate us. They aimed for the most populated cities first, before taking potshots at what remained.
Being put to the death by The Sword serves them right, they deserved judgement by that blade for what they had done.
Or, rather, the Nemesis, as reports had given us. A human ship, but not quite our humanity. A time traveler conveniently sent here by accident, saving us from extinction. An AI piloted ship that sought now to reunite with Earth having defended us. Given what remained of our Guardian Angel, I sought to do everything I could to make their welcome home a celebration, for they defended humanity in our darkest hour.
I recalled my journeys around the globe as a younger man. How my endless wanderlust took me to every corner of the globe in the wake of the Satellite Wars. How the global power vacuum led to so much relief efforts, as the less-touched nations finally had room to breathe, the canopy of carefully controlled superpowers no longer eating up their light needed to grow. How African countries like South Africa and Niger found themselves expanding to match the designation of First World. How beautiful the Seychelles were to see in person.
How my volunteering in the UN's Unfurled Umbrella Initiatives after the Treaty of Shanghai took me to the partially collapsed countries amidst Asia. How Tokyo, despite its immense infrastructure failure, dragged itself back to a powerhouse of a city, as Japan built for itself after so long. How China's government reformed into a Republic after the post-war coups, and how Taiwan finally opened its heart more to them for it. How Beijing found itself all the stronger for adversity.
How the South and Central Americas found themselves no longer under the impressive hand of the United States' geopolitical influence. How the first Diaspora vessels took off from Argentina, seeking to establish a government sentenced only to the annals of history on Earth upon the distant surfaces of Mars. How they were so determined to prove the world wrong on its presuppositions of how a place should be ruled, free of the influence of bullying countries. And how their dream led to the now Martian Collective.
I thought of all the other places the UN took me. Of Cairo, and its deep connection to our most prominent civilization of the ancient past. Of Istanbul, to see the beauty of mixing Christian and Islamic influence over centuries of swapping hands. Of the stunning ports of Singapore, an industrial powerhouse of a nation, so tightly packed into one single city. Of the stunning silver forest of skyscrapers that was New York City, still kicking even after the devastation of the Satellite Wars. Mumbai, Baghdad, Lagos, Mogadishu, Guadalajara, Rio De Janeiro, Berlin. How I drank in all the beauty and magnificent history and culture of the world, and was all the fuller a person for it. These and so many more.
I thought of the honey farmer I met by the Saigon River; how Châu Được's family had kept the traditional job going for so long, and divinely sweet their harvest was they shared with me. I thought of Dari Qazi, how the humble Afghani-borne man had found himself at the forefront of a secular revolution in Pakistan, reaching unrivaled progress not seen since the 1980's. I remembered the ambitious young woman in Monterrey, Mexico, who talked to me of her dreams to build spaceships for the Diaspora program, how she wished dearly she could leave a mark on history, and how now her name was on the finest rockets of the age.
All gone. Dust on the wind. Atomized debris now. Their homes, their families, their history gone, according to reports of which cities have evaporated to bedrock.
Thousands of years of history, erased in moments by antimatter over Rome. Los Angeles was reduced to the basin it was built on those long years ago in America. Cape Town's hard fought for progress from humble beginnings to the most populous and prosperous city in all of Africa, wiped from the record in an instant. Seven-hundred and eighty million dead in the span of an hour.
All those years spent, traveling around the world, drinking in the sights, to know they will never return. To know they are gone and buried, snuffed out by a bloody cruel universe, filled with utterly contemptible aliens. A deep voice spoke inside me on a loop, constantly asking an enraging question.
"Did it all mean nothing to you, Dorian?"
There was only one answer I considered giving to that accusation. To the monsters that took so many lives and homes from humanity, merely for having the gall to eat differently. What answered back blistered with hatred, yet kept frigidly focused.
"It meant everything to me."
Something clicked inside; the Federation wouldn't get away with this. We deserved justice. I rustled through my desk drawers, looking for old contacts from my political days. The stacks of papers on my desk could wait, this was more important. I needed to make some calls. Humanity deserved better, and I knew just how we could get it. But it would require a far more coordinated effort than just me. No, it needed a movement.
The galaxy will hear us. One way or another, we deserve justice. And we have just the circumstances to deliver it...
Memory transcription subject: Governor Tarva of the Venlil Republic
Date [standardized human time]: October 22, 2136
"-the sting of these days will someday pass. Maybe not in the near future, maybe not even in our lifetime, but we will one day no longer feel his pain, this suffering. Until that day comes, we will not go gently into that dark night, we will live on, mourn our dead, defend those still living, and make humanity known to the galaxy that it will not roll over when faced with such hostility. To those who support us even now, I thank you deeply to the core, and ask for a moment of silence to those lost both above and on Earth...to those who would stand with the Federation, who did so cruelly act upon us, we urge you to reconsider, and turn away, for we bring not a olive branch, but a sword. Those species governments that did this will not get away with this, and those who stood aside and watched...either choose a side, or be labeled on one for your inaction. Thank you."
Meier finished his speech with that, and some applause was heard from human refugees amidst the crowd, but a majority remained mostly quiet, in remembrance of the lives lost. A good majority of the dignitaries from the Federation neutral races had already left by this point, so the pointed message at the end likely missed them personally, even if they listen in later. It was a good speech, but it felt...infused with something that was clearly not Meier's normal calm. It was like seeing a side I had never seen with him before, not rant-angry, but mad nevertheless, hidden behind a veneer of diplomatic politeness.
Noah put it in terms I thought best as Meier walked off stage. "You're a bit more of a firebrand than I thought Meier, but nevertheless a good speech! I'm glad you tied in what advice I could give for the refugees here so smoothly."
Meier smiled at that, a cathartic smile that spoke of being proud of what he delivered just a moment ago. I could only imagine he was aching with tension over the pain of so much loss of life, it was only fair that he be angry at the galaxy at large for it, and make it heard.
"Thank you, Noah. I sincerely mean every word of it. The Federation must not escape scot-free for what they have done, and already now at home we're preparing to bring the fight back to them." He looked at me. "We'll...obviously not go as far as the Federation did, but I speak for everyone in that humanity is not happy, and it shows. Even the refugees that came here looking a mere instant from giving up seem a bit resolved now to that goal. I just wish more were on our side to start...I never wanted war, but the galaxy's forcing it."
"I'm so sorry, Meier. My deepest sympathies for how the galaxy has treated you and yours. Despite the hiccups recently, I guarantee we'll still remain close allies; humanity deserves nothing less."
The remainder of the species in the remembrance assembly started to funnel out; it was mostly just humans and Venlil at this point, but a few stuck around. The Yotul ambassador, Laulo, was an obvious one amongst the stragglers, clearly meaning to talk with Meier and us further. As the room became more and more empty he walked over to us once again.
"Meier! Your speech was wonderful, full of spice and vigor, yet calming all the same. It was like a call to arms while smoking spiritwood. The Federation stragglers hopefully will reconsider!"
I felt a little weirded out by his choice of focus in the speech on The Federation, rather than humanity, but I responded in Meier's stead positively: "Yes, Meier's an expert in political and social matters. Anyways, what did you want? You seem to be just hanging around, waiting for a moment here."
"Ah...yes, about that..." Ambassador Laulo nervously tugged at his uniform. "I was sent here initially just in good faith for humanity, as we knew what it must've felt like for the Federation to bully you so immensely. But this second visit, to the gala itself...we actually want to propose something to Humanity and the Venlil, but I wanted to wait for Federation sympathizing eyes and ears to be far away from here first."
He looked somewhat desperate, but resolved. "We're planning on breaking off from the Federation. Their influence on our planet is awful, given what they've done to us during the uplift. They seek to repress our culture, they constantly call us backward, and primitive, hardly capable of thinking for our own in this galaxy. We're tired of it, but we still are partially relying on their technological development to get to this point, and we don't have a proper fleet made. Your space is closest to ours, and we hoped-"
Meier finished "-that'd we begin our war fronting towards Leirn first? Free your people from the Federation? I'll gladly bring it up with our military advisors. You helped us, we help you back."
Laulo sighed in relief at that, a huge weight taken off their shoulders. "T-thank you. Thank you so much for this. Leirn has sought to be free of their grasp ever since we learned their intentions were not pure. You've been the first species to actually care to some degree, and were our only hope out of this mess."
"Don't thank us just yet. If you'd like to get in contact with our military, I can set you up with some Generals and your government as a liason for the war. You can coordinate anything on your side of the bargain to us through them, and make this smoother." Meier handed him a card, and waved over a human attendant of his to Laulo. She talked with him as the two walked away, and Meier remained.
Noah turned to me, a warm hand scruffing my fur. "I know the state of things doesn't look too great, love, but it could be so much worse. We'll make due with what we can get, and hopefully the galaxy will be a better place for it. Don't worry, all will be well someday."
I believed him. Who wouldn't believe in humanity?
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Its officially one month after the last post about my homelessness situation. I wasnt going to update but i received this odd message from something about the crisis hotline and Thats never happened before. So my first thought was, "oh god atleast one of them thinks Im dead". As you can see, Im fine. Little sick but thats just a passing cold from getting wet in rain once or twice. Sorry for worrying you, whoever you are. This routine has been stressful but despite that, Im chugging on. Ive made some great friends in this shelter, all of them twice my age but theyre pretty chill. Some of them even randomly give me food. Without further a do, heres some other odd things that I experienced

1. In my particular shelter they have "snack time" and when I asked them why its not called a meal even though its hot and filling (For my little ass atleast) And the rep said something like, "It doesnt have much nutritional value so we legally arent allowed to call it a meal" luckily they also have bowls of fruit if youre fast enough and worried about nutrition.
2. Food related again. Ill eat pretty much anything filling, tasty and smells non lethal. Its probably a stress response to being hungry most of the time. So you can guess how surprised i was when i got into the shelter last night and found alot of extra snacks sitting by the microwave. And only because they had fish. I love fish, but apparently nobody else in the shelter does, so... Ate good.
3. Rain SUCKS! i hate hate hate HATE rain!!! . Especially since I dont live in a walkable city. Its getting everything in my backpack wet and I dont have a rain coat or umbrella so rain ruins my entire day! So invest in foot powder, when your shoes get wet they start smelling really bad.
4. The bus fare will catch up with you. I cant speak for everyone, but my workplace is a 2 hour walk, and i for the life of me cant treck that. So in short, a month of bus fare, to and from work is 60 dollars. Do you have any idea how many packets of ramen noodles that is? Get a bike. Just get a cheap bike from a pawnshop. Even when your not homeless bikes are awesome for transportation.
5. For a few brief moments alittle transphobia happened. I was woken up early by some yelling and peaked out from my bunk and the older guys was yelling something like, "Whys he in there." Then he made eye contact with me and tried to get in the dorm. But of course, since he isnt a lady pretty much every other woman with beds near the door starting chewing him out like they birthed him. He backed off but he still stares at me weird.
6. Sleep apnea, apparently having ear buds or headphones to cover your ears cant really help. The dorm isnt that big so somebody snoring or having night terrors wakes everyone up. I dont have earbuds anymore but thankfully im too tired to get woken up by stuff like that.
7. Some of the people in the shelter your in might be registered sex offenders. I thought it was stupid too, but i over heard one of the questions a new person was asked. "Have you beej convicted or accused of any sex related crimes" and the Rep followed it up with, "you wont be turned away specifically due to this." I personally think assaulters shouldnt be allowed to access shelters or any kind of support after what they did but I dont make the rules.
8. Mail. I dont remember if I covered this last time but where does the mail go if you have no home? Ask the shelter if you have the option to use this place as a place to receive mail. Mine accepts mail for anyone, bf used it to send me a birthday present.

And thats it, overall nothing too bad happened to me. Most of the big problems revolve around rain and transportation since im in a shelter now. I probably wont be updating again until Im housed again. Farewell.

Just curious if this is a disability worthy thing in California.
I've had it for about a little over 2 years but ignored the signs. I've had a few minor flare ups lasting 1-3 days through my big toe and ankle and chalked it up as maybe a sprain or late bruising from something the day before or something as dumb as kicking something in my sleep. After the very first major one, I had to go see a doctor. I ruined a vacation because of it and missed about 2 1/2 weeks of work. The pain was horrific and lasted a total of 26 days. Since then, I've been on Allo going on about 6 months now. Some minor pain but nothing that'll keep me off my feet, just a minor limp here and there.
Anyway, my job requires me to do a lot of standing, climbing, crouching, bending and just overall constant movement on my feet. Also, I'm required to wear steel toe boots, which are hell sometimes. I'm not in the market to switch jobs. I'm open to the idea of a career change but the job market right now is crap. I do get a lot of perks and personal freedom, the pay is good but am still technically on call. It isn't that bad since the nearest job site is about 25min out and my company gives us a vehicle & paid gas.
With all this, I was wondering if gout is disability worthy. I'd hate to lose my job because of this but am worried my employer might let me go because of another long term flare up. I'm 37 years old, pretty active with sports and outdoor activities, not too overweight, try to exercise at least 3x a week, watch my diet and drink less often than I used to, maybe once a month. I also take Allo now but I know gout attacks are not always going to be 100% curable. Anyone know anything about the disability or have any advice? Very open to ideas and suggestions.

When I (F27) was about 20, I asked my mum what she had hoped my life would be like at my age. She said she never had any expectations, and that all she wants is for me to be happy. Ever since then I’ve tried to give her what she wants, by doing whatever I want. When I feel like my life is not what I want it to be, I quit my job and go travelling. I’ve done that 4 times since I was 22. It’s always worked for me, I get to learn about new cultures and also it’s very helpful in my line of work to be able to go to places and experience the things I work with first hand.
Last year in December I travelled to a lesser known island in the Caribbean. I had very little money and didn’t know what I was going to do next. I was staying in a hotel for free, in exchange for a few hours work per day. I was signed up to be there for just one month, and intended to go back home once that month was over, hopefully having figured out my next steps on the way.
10 days after I arrived, I met a guy, I’ll call him Adam. On our first date we swam in the sea at night, grabbed some street food and then went to watch the stars. It was super romantic and we had a great time. We then spent the entirety of the next two weeks together. We climbed a mountain on Christmas morning and set off fireworks together on New Year’s.
In the beginning of January, I didn’t have enough money for a flight home. This island is much more expensive than I had anticipated and flights around that time were also super expensive, more than I could afford. I had another volunteering place booked, which would have provided free accommodation for me for another month.
Two days before I was due to go there, I got offered a job. It was in a place that would have been impossible to get to from the accommodation (I don’t know how to drive and the buses are so few and far between here, it would have taken me 4 hours to get to work including 2 hours of walking through farms, fields and unlit dirt roads). I was also very lucky to be offered this job in the first place, since I don’t speak the language of the island and very few people speak English here (I’ve been here 6 months and only met 5 people who speak English at conversational level or above). I’ve applied for every single other job available that I think I’d reasonably be able to do, not even just what I have experience in and I hear nothing back, because of course I have to tell them that I don’t speak the language. I spoke about this with the Adam and he told me to just move in with him for a while. I hesitated, since we’d only known each other a month at this point but I desperately needed to earn some money so I could afford to eat, and at least get a ticket home eventually. So I moved in with him.
That was in January, it’s now May.
Since then, things have gotten so much worse. Work only gives me 2 shifts per week, which is not enough for me to live on, let alone try and save a penny of it. I’ve spoken to the boss and explained my situation but he’s already doing the best he can to help me. Adam has his own company and earns considerably higher than most people here, and he pays for pretty much everything. What I earn in a month (with my 2 shifts per week) can cover our food for maximum a week, and so that’s what I spend it on. By the time pay day comes around, I can never afford to book a flight that’s not at least a month away, because they’re so much more expensive that close. And if I booked a flight a month in advance, I wouldn’t have any money to eat without Adam paying for it plus he would wonder where my money has gone.
So, to explain why things are bad. After I moved in with Adam, I noticed he started talking down to me a lot. He often talks to me as if I am stupid and belittles me. The first 3 times he did this, I told him not to talk to me like that but clearly he hasn’t stopped. He has slept with 6 other women since I moved in with him,and last week he slapped me in the face.
I feel so stuck. I feel like I can’t ask anyone for help because not only did I put myself in this situation, but I also can’t ask anyone to lend me any money for a flight since I have no idea when I’d be able to pay them back. If I go back home, I’d need to have one month’s rent and a deposit to rent a room, to then be able to go to work. I feel helpless, I can’t seem to figure out how to get out of this situation and I know I’ve made a mistake that’s going to cost me the last of my twenties, all for the sake of doing whatever I want.

The people involved (names are changed):
Jake – me
Tom – my flatmate
Kath – Tom’s girlfriend
Emily – Kath’s flatmate
TLDR (but context is very important for how the situation develops):
· Me and Emily get with each other at a party.
· It turns out Kath had forbidden Emily from getting with me. Since Emily went and did it anyway, Kath falls out with her.
· Kath ends her friendship with Emily. Me and Emily continue seeing each other.
· When I plan to go to see Emily at their apartment, Tom tells me that Kath is in a really dark place mentally, and the thought of me and Emily being there together while Kath’s there is triggering her anxiety, so he asks me not to go over.
· Me and Emily follow these instructions for months, while Tom and Kath continue coming and going to either of our apartments as they please.
· Emily eventually gets in touch with Kath to try and understand exactly why me coming over is an issue, since Kath has no problem coming to my place. Kath has a meltdown due to this and it makes her suicidal.
· Tom falls out with me because I knew about the messages that caused his girlfriend to feel suicidal.
(Skip to 'Late April' if you want to go straight to the crux of this post, but I do think it's quite an entertaining read).
Background Context
Me and Tom (both mid-twenties) have lived together in our apartment since I moved to the city last year. I’ve known him for several years and would put him in my inner circle of closest friends, so living with him was all just good chill vibes as expected - or at least it was for the first six months.
I met Tom’s girlfriend of several months, Kath, for the first time pretty soon after moving in. Although she was kind of shy, I thought she seemed nice enough. I noticed that Kath would seem to lean on Tom a fair amount when it came to support for her mental health (she had been diagnosed with anxiety), which of course is normal as her boyfriend. On one occasion, she had a particularly bad anxious episode during a group hangout, with Tom consoling her about it afterwards. Following this, Tom seemed exhausted, saying to me “I’m not a professional, I’m not equipped to deal with all this mental health stuff. She needs help from someone who can adequately help her deal with these thoughts. When she blows things out of proportion and she stresses out to me about her anxiety, it just ends up making my own anxiety worse”. He also said that he had even offered to pay for therapy for Kath, but she didn’t want to accept it.
I just felt bad for Tom, especially since I had some understanding of what he was going through. I had previously had a girlfriend who had anxiety/depression/BPD and put all her mental health issues on me. That girlfriend was also very manipulative and would mention suicidal thoughts any time she started feeling like she was losing control over me (just to be clear, there was no indication that Kath was acting in a manipulative way towards Tom at that point). In my experience, when you end up in a situation where you’re essentially acting as someone’s full-time personal mental health counsellor, it hardly ever ends well.
At some point in January, I met Kath’s “bestie” flatmate, Emily. I remember thinking she was cute, seemed nice and easy to talk to. We all hung out as a group a few times that month and I thought there may have been a little bit of a vibe between me and Emily.
So as you do, I slid into Emily’s DMs and basically let her know I was interested. I messaged her a week or two before our party that her and Kath were coming to, but her response was lukewarm so I just thought she probably wasn’t interested.
For context, I had recently broken up with my girlfriend in January, who had just got back from travelling for the last 6 months. Things in that relationship weren’t great before she even went travelling, and during the months she was away I had come to terms with the fact that it was best to end it. I waited until she was back to say it in person, as I didn’t want to drop that on her while she was travelling and ruin that once in a lifetime experience. However, deep down I knew I had wanted talk to other girls and explore new connections for the last few months, but obviously I didn’t want talk to anyone until it was cleanly over. Me messaging Emily was only a few days after breaking up with her, which I guess isn’t great, but in my head I had been ready to move on for a while, I saw no point in putting an arbitrary time limit on myself. I made sure to explain this context when I messaged Emily so that she was aware of my recent circumstances.
The Party (End of January)
So me and Emily end up getting with each other at the party. Initially, when I brought up me messaging her, she said “I think you’re cute, but I think it’s best we just be friends for the next couple months, since you just recently got out of a relationship, and we can see what happens afterwards”. But as the night went on, I guess Emily changed her mind, because as we kept talking it got increasingly flirty and we ended up getting together. Perfect end to the night, right? Not exactly.
At one point when Emily goes to the bathroom, she comes back into my bedroom saying “Kath is furious at me”. I ask why, and she says that Kath had basically forbidden her from getting with me.
Back when I first messaged Emily, she had of course shown Kath the messages straight away. It turns out Kath for some reason had a really intense reaction to this and was like “I can’t believe he has the audacity to hit on my best friend right after breaking up with his girlfriend! It’s so disrespectful using you as a rebound, it’s disrespectful to his ex and it’s disrespectful to me for hitting on my best friend like this! He was the only one of Tom’s friends that I actually liked but he’s ruined that too now!”.
Apparently, Kath had been used as a rebound before and this was triggering for her, so she didn’t want her best friend to be used as a rebound. She said “you can’t get with him, Emily, that’s my boundary.” Emily was a bit taken aback by the intensity of this reaction and was just a bit like “umm okay…?”. She tried a few times before the party to understand a bit more about why Kath had such a problem with it but didn’t get much further explanation than that.
Now, I agree that Emily was in the wrong for saying to Kath that she wouldn’t get with me and then went and did it anyway, and Emily also acknowledges this. Emily should have said from the start she wasn’t okay with this weird “boundary” Kath had set. It was a bit cowardly. Although given how intensely Kath overreacts to things, I can understand why Emily initially just agreed to whatever she was saying to calm her down. I can also understand how when you’re at a party having fun, drinking and realise that you do actually have a good vibe with the person, in the moment you might change your mind and be like “actually fuck that, who the fuck is she to tell me who I can and can’t get with?”.
Kath saw this as Emily having no respect for their friendship, by choosing some guy she’d just met over her. From Emily’s perspective she was choosing herself, choosing not to follow these nonsensical rules that had been imposed on her, and she was just tired of Kath overreacting to everything and trying to control her.
In my opinion, being this controlling for no good reason is pretty disrespectful in itself. Given that Kath’s reason for telling Emily not to get with me was because she didn’t want her to be used as a rebound…well that’s Emily’s risk to take, isn’t it? I can see how from Emily’s perspective, she knew Kath might not be happy about it, but it’s also not some deep betrayal, since based on the reason Kath gave, the consequence would only be on Emily herself. Emily had the exact same knowledge about my recent relationship status as Kath did, so why did Kath think she can tell her what to do?
As we get to further into this post and the real reason why Kath set this “boundary” is revealed, you will see why I actually think any argument Kath has against Emily for getting with me at the party is automatically void, but we will learn these details as they come.
Start of February
After the events of the party, Kath didn’t want to talk to Emily the next day when she tried to initiate communication via message (Kath tends to avoid in-person confrontation). Fair enough, Emily gave her space. Me and Emily spend the next day together just talking and getting to know each other more, and it’s clear that we vibe together and both feel very comfortable with each other, which is pretty rare for both of us.
I don’t see Tom for the first few days after the party, as he had been staying at Kath’s. When I do, I’m a bit surprised that he didn’t think much of Kath’s reaction at the party. He says “yeah I probably should have warned you about this beforehand”. We both agree that Emily was in the wrong for going back on what she said, but also that Kath shouldn’t have tried to control her like that. He did say “sorry I know this put you in an awkward position”.
A few days after the party, Emily again tries to get in touch with Kath via message.
Emily’s message essentially apologised for her actions, saying she was in the wrong for going back on what she said, and that she should have said from the start that she wasn’t happy with this “boundary”. She also said that Kath shouldn’t have tried to dictate her life and tell her what to do, especially when it’s something that’s none of her business, and that she is going to continue seeing me, taking the risk of being a “rebound”.
Kath’s response essentially said the whole incident at the party was only a small part of why she exploded so intensely, this was just the last in a long line of things Emily had done in the past which she had not forgiven her for. This was just the last straw for Kath because “it hit so close to home, so close to the love of my life”. She wanted things to be civil between them until the end of their tenancy, but this was essentially the end of their friendship.
Okay good, Kath flipping out so badly now finally made a bit more sense to me. Obviously, I wanted to know what Emily had done that was so bad to cause this, as any indicators of bad character would inform whether I choose to keep talking to her.
Emily went through these, explaining that these were incidents from their past that they had discussed at the time, dealt with and moved on from. I have cut these out for the word limit as they don’t add much to this post, but it was the most minor, nonsensical things (I can explain in the comments if anyone wants details).
In any case, I wasn’t particularly interested in what mistakes Emily might have made months or years ago, I was more interested in what her character was like now and going forward.
Early/Mid February
So here’s where the main situation we’re in now starts. For context, Kath and Emily’s apartment is in the city center, close to where both mine and Tom’s offices are, so it would make sense to go over in the evening and go into work from theirs the next morning, as Tom has been doing once or twice a week for the last few months.
It's worth noting that ever since the party right up to the present moment, Emily and Kath have not been interacting at all, avoiding each other in their apartment, only messaging for things like bill payments.
The first time I planned to go stay round Emily’s place was early/mid-February. When I mention this to Tom, he tells me that Kath has been having a really bad time mentally since the party, and the thought of me and Emily being there together triggers her anxiety. He asks me not to go over to their apartment for the next couple of weeks or so while she’s in this particularly bad phase. I don’t really understand what me going over and seeing Emily has to do with Kath’s anxiety (and Tom says he doesn't really understand it either himself), but I say okay fine it’s not that big of deal, I won’t go over for the time being.
Now, a valid question for myself is why I decided to keep seeing Emily, despite knowing that Kath had fallen out with her and therefore knowing it could potentially cause fiction between me and Tom. I don’t think I did anything wrong for several reasons:
· I suppose there’s the general visceral reaction against being told what to do. Like mind your own business, it’s not my fault Kath decided to get involved in my business. Why should she get what she wants when she’s the one being unreasonable? Why should we deny ourselves the opportunity of getting to know someone we seem to vibe with just because Tom’s girlfriend doesn’t like it?
· Before I even knew there was any issue at all, it was already too late; I had already gotten with Emily, they had already fallen out, and Kath already thought I was a dickhead. So what good would it do now to not see each other? Kath already didn’t like me (and she had also previously told me that once she doesn’t like someone, there’s no going back, they’re finished in her mind).
· In the initial first few days after the party, both me and Tom were kind of expecting that Kath’s reaction would blow over in a few days after she had cooled down. How could I have predicted that her reaction would instead continue getting increasingly intense as the situation went on?
· Frankly, I was annoyed at Tom at this point. He knew how Kath had reacted to me messaging Emily, so why did he just bend over and enable his girlfriends’ controlling, unreasonable behavior without question? If it was my girlfriend acting like this generally, I’d be like “why are you getting involved in their business, just let them do what they want?”, and especially so if it was directly affecting one of my close friends.
· Fundamentally, there’s no inherent reason why there had to be any issue at all? Okay Kath has ended her friendship with Emily and might not like that we’re seeing each other, but there’s no need for there to be any continued drama. Obviously we won’t all be hanging out as a four having fun like I had initially hoped, but that doesn’t mean we can’t just exist as adults and be civil? The only reason this continues to be an issue in the first place is because Kath is making it an issue for everyone else involved.
· Finally, I actually like Emily – from the first few days it was clear it wasn’t just going to be a FWB situation. If it felt like more of a superficial FWB situation, then yeah I probably would have just thought it’s not worth the drama, even though I thought Kath was the one in the wrong.
Late February
Over the month of February, me and Emily keep hanging out and getting closer. Whilst I was keeping a very close eye on her for any sign of character flaws (it was still possible that Kath could be in the right, even though her side of it didn’t make much sense to me), the more I got to know her, the more it seemed my initial judgment of her was accurate. I saw how she acted with her other friends, they all seemed to really value and appreciate her. I saw her helping out her friend in need of a fairly large amount of money without a second thought, I saw her going to accompany her friend for a medical scan they had, and generally she was really nice and thoughtful with me. Not exactly the behavior of an inconsiderate person.
Sometime in late February, Emily messages me completely baffled. She couldn’t believe that Kath had invited over a girl from their social circle, Dianne. The reason why this is a bit scandalous is because Kath is always talking shit about Dianne behind her back. And it’s not just “she can be a bit annoying sometimes”, it’s an explicit sentiment of how much she dislikes her, how much of a bad person she is and how much she wants her removed from her life. And she does this frequently, I barely speak to Kath and even I’ve heard her rant about how much she doesn’t like Dianne. So, she’s constantly saying this kind of stuff behind her back, and here she is now inviting her round for tea acting all friendly. I just found that so two-faced and this inevitably shaped my perception of Kath being deceptive.
Not long after I heard about this, Kath was round our place over the weekend. Me, Tom and Kath were heading off to our friend’s housewarming party later that day, with me driving us. At one point when the three of us are all in the kitchen, Kath speaks to me properly for the first time since the party, basically to clear the air. She says she doesn’t want there to be any bad blood between us and that her problem wasn’t with me, it was with Emily. I just say that I was cool with her, I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable with me or when coming over to our apartment, and that the situation between her and Emily was between them and not my business.
I wasn’t entirely convinced with her “clearing the air”, given that I had seen she apparently has no issue with being two-faced, but at the time I thought it was best to stay cool with her for the sake of me and Tom’s friendship and also I didn’t particularly fancy spending the rest of the day and a long car ride with awkward vibes.
End of February
At the end of February, Tom asks me how things are going with Emily and basically advises caution with her. He says that from what he’s seen she’s basically not a good person and she’s generally inconsiderate. I tell him I find that surprising from what I’ve seen of Emily, but I know it’s possible she could have just been putting on a front for the last month. I openly accept this, saying “I want to hear what you have to say, obviously you’re my friend and I respect your opinion”.
Essentially, he doesn’t bring up anything that I hadn’t already been told.
When I question Tom on why Kath thought she was a mind reader and assuming what my intentions were with Emily at the very start of this whole thing, Tom reveals he had since found out that the real reason Kath had forbidden Emily from getting with me in the first place actually wasn’t really to do with me recently breaking up with my girlfriend/using Emily as a rebound (Tom said this was a minor part of the reason, more of an excuse to base it on). It was more that Kath already knew beforehand that she wanted to end her friendship with Emily and was essentially trying to prevent her still being part of her life (i.e. by getting close to her boyfriend’s friend/flatmate).
Now it all made sense why Kath tried to “ban” her from getting with me in the first place. I’m not sure if Tom thought telling me this would make me more sympathetic to Kath’s side of it, but if anything, this deceptive behavior was even more of a red flag to me. As far as everyone (except for Kath) was concerned, her and Emily were best friends. Kath had even said to Emily a couple of weeks before the party that “she was like a sister to her”.
Tom didn’t seem to have much issue with this, saying something along the lines of “yeah I know she shouldn’t have kept all this stuff bottled up, but she doesn’t like confrontation, it makes her really anxious”.
After learning this, I think any argument for Emily being in the wrong for disobeying Kath’s instructions at the party is automatically void: Imagine having the audacity to be like “yeah I know I tried to control you by framing it as me being a protective friend looking out for you, but actually it was really because I wanted to end my friendship with you anyway teehee 😊”. In my view that is just so manipulative. No wonder the reason given to Emily for not getting with me made no sense to her.
When I revealed this to Emily, she said that she had been suspecting that was the case anyway, but it still really hurt to hear it confirmed.
Form her perspective it was like: “So was Kath holding all these grudges all the times I was consoling her for whatever mental health issue she was having at any given time?” (I wonder if Tom was thinking what a bad person Emily was when it was him and Emily staying up till stupid o’clock trying to console Kath who was crying about job applications a few weeks before all this kicked off). There are many other examples of things she had done for Kath in both the recent and more distant past.
Kath also knew that Emily’s best friend had killed herself a few years prior, and after going through the loss of her best friend, Emily had always said she was super hesitant to call anyone her “best friend”. Kath knew about this and still let Emily believe they were best friends, whilst she clearly didn’t really mean it, which I think is quite cruel of her.
Despite what I had seen of Emily so far, I still took what Tom said into account, and continued to watch her carefully.
Mid March
Another couple of weeks pass and given that my last interaction with Kath was her clearing the air with me, I thought everything was now cool between us. I mention to Tom at the start of the week that I’m planning to stay at their apartment later that week and he says “okay cool”. However, later that same evening, he once again asks me not to go over to their apartment. Apparently when he told Kath that I was going over, she started having a panic attack at the thought of me going there.
At this point I’m really started to get frustrated at this situation and again I try to understand exactly what the problem is, because this entire time Kath and Tom have been coming and going to either apartment as they please, so Kath clearly doesn’t have a problem coming to my apartment while I’m there. Tom again says that he doesn’t fully understand it himself, and that Kath doesn’t want to feel this way either, but she’s in a really bad place at the moment and me being there with Emily is really triggering her anxiety.
This makes no sense to me or Emily, because we obviously wouldn’t do anything to make Kath uncomfortable, and from our perspective this is just enabling her dysfunctional way of dealing with this situation.
Even though I still don’t understand what the fuck me seeing Emily has got to do with Kath’s mental health, I’m obviously not going to barge my way into someone’s home when I’m not welcome. So once again, I do as I’m told and say I won’t go over. But I do tell Tom that this situation isn’t going to continue going on like this indefinitely, and to me it feels to me like I’m being walked all over, in the sense of “oh yeah no worries, you two carry on going to either apartment as you please, I’ll just sit here like a dickhead and follow my instructions, don’t worry about it 😊”. He does say sorry and that he knows it’s inconvenient for us, but it's an even bigger inconvenience for Kath.
It’s worth bearing in mind that at this point, I could have responded to this situation by saying that if I’m not welcome at her apartment, Kath is not welcome here (or equally Emily could say to Kath “you can’t bring Tom round”). Whilst yes, it’s a bit petty, I think this would be a completely justified response to prevent a situation where we are being walked all over. Because what would be the alternative? They just carry on doing as they please indefinitely whilst Emily is told she isn’t allowed to have equal use of her own apartment? Now obviously telling your friend that his girlfriend isn’t allowed to come over is really a last resort and would definitely put a big dent in our friendship, and generally I have no desire to control what anyone else does, so of course I didn’t respond in this way.
Despite my frustration at this entire situation, I do feel bad for Tom because I can see how uncomfortable he seems during these conversations with me, he obviously doesn’t want to give me these unreasonable instructions. I can only assume he’s just trying to do whatever he can to keep his girlfriend afloat and prevent her next meltdown. I’ve been there myself dealing with a girlfriend with mental health issues, so I don’t want to actively make things worse for my friend either. However, I’m also worried that it’s likely to get worse for him the more he feeds into it and gets sucked into it.
At this point, the cynical side of me couldn’t help but wonder if Kath was being a bit manipulative and leaning into all the mental health stuff to maintain control of the situation.
· She seemingly is unable to give a reason for exactly why me and Emily being in her apartment makes her so uncomfortable. To me, this was completely indistinguishable from her just hating the fact that we’re together.
· All this reminds me of exactly the same kind of manipulative behavior I saw with that ex-girlfriend.
· She’s shown she has no problem with being intentionally deceptive – maybe if the entire basis of this situation hadn’t started off with Kath being manipulative she would have a bit more credibility in my eyes.
I know this kind of behavior is often not even intentional, and that it can be subconscious where the person doesn’t even realise they’re being manipulative.
(Still Mid March)
Now we get to the part that pisses me off the most in this whole situation. Only a few days after that conversation with Tom, for some reason Kath comes to stay in our apartment for the weekend while Tom was away at a house party. As in, it’s just me and Kath in my apartment.
Personally, I couldn’t imagine having the nerve to say to someone they aren’t welcome in my home because their presence triggers me, and then only a mere few days later actively choosing to go stay the weekend at their place while it’s just us two in the apartment. Like either my presence triggers you or it doesn’t?
Now to be fair, Tom had asked me a week or two beforehand if Kath could come to our apartment to hang out with someone from our friend group while he was away, and I said that was cool. Anyway, those plans fell through, but Kath still came over by herself.
But the main thing that pissed me off about this is that Tom, after knowing that I was already feeling like I was being taken for a mug in this situation, apparently didn’t even think it was worth bothering to check with me if it was still cool with me that Kath came round, given our conversation a few days prior.
If he’d at least checked in like, “I know it’s a bit weird that she’s coming to stay round by herself after having just said that your presence triggers her anxiety”, I still would’ve said okay, because I have no desire to control what anyone does. But it was just the fact he didn’t seem to care, saying “btw Kath is gonna stay here tonight” moments before leaving to his party.
To me it felt like he had spent the last month or so basically giving me instructions to make sure everyone caters to his girlfriend’s feelings, and yet didn’t give the slightest consideration to how this would make me feel. Part of me was thinking does he even see me as a friend or just as an inconvenience to his relationship at this point?
I spoke to Tom in the week following this, expressing how I had felt about Kath staying round. He did apologise and acknowledged he could’ve checked in with me, but he didn’t really seem to understand why her coming over like that was such a kick in the teeth for me. He said Kath doesn’t have a problem with me, it’s only a very specific situation that triggers her (i.e. me and Emily being in her apartment together).
Again I try to understand exactly why it’s a problem. Ever since the party, Emily’s presence in their apartment has consisted of her quietly staying in her room, quickly cooking her food and going straight back to her room. She doesn’t spend 2 hours in the kitchen making food like Kath and Tom sometimes do when he’s there.
Tom again says he doesn’t fully understand it himself. From what he understands, it’s triggering because her home is her safe space and if we’re both there it’s like there’s two hostile presences in that safe space. He reiterated that she is in a very dark place at the moment, and that she’s been having frequent panic attacks and suicidal thoughts.
Tom then says that Kath would be prepared to leave the apartment if me and Emily wanted to meet there, and Kath would basically get out of the way and come to me and Tom’s apartment instead. This did give me a bit more confidence that Kath wasn’t just purposefully making things difficult.
If Kath genuinely meant this, then of course that’s really appreciated, but I’m obviously not going to make her leave her own home and come all the way to ours to then have a 2 hour commute to her work. It’s so over the top and needless. I think that this clearly isn’t a functional solution going forward. What if one day when we want to meet up, Kath has had a long day at work and doesn’t feel like leaving her apartment (obviously, fair enough!), what if she’s got plans with friends in her apartment that evening? In any case, it’s still a situation where rules are being imposed on us, I can never just spontaneously decide to go see Emily one day after work or something. We still can’t come and go freely in the same way they have been doing for the past two months. It would be much better to understand why exactly it’s such a problem and see how we’re going to find a long-term solution, instead of Kath just running away from it.
The cynical side of me was wondering if Kath was just saying this knowing that neither me or Emily are realistically going to make her leave her own home, and if we do agree to it, then she can say “oh look how inconsiderate they are, making me leave my own home just so that they can be in the apartment”, ensuring that she keeps Tom firmly on her side.
Logically, I would’ve thought as time goes on, Kath would eventually get used to the situation and just accept it. Conversely, is it not quite understandable that the longer we have rules imposed on us, the more frustrated we become?
Once again say that I won’t go over and tell him that I won’t press this issue for the time being.
Late April
So now we get to the latest development in the situation, which is the crux of this post.
For the next month or so after that conversation with Tom, me and Emily have just been following our instructions and not pressed anything, whilst they continue coming and going as they please. One weekend we’re talking about the whole ‘Kath situation’ and we say “okay we’ve left it for a while now, it’s probably time to see how we’re going to move forward with this”.
In that next week, Emily sends Kath the following message:
“Hey, I appreciate this message might be uncomfortable but we need to discuss the fact that Jake can’t come here while you’re at home because I know that him and Tom have spoken about this but we’ve never addressed it with each other and I think it’s unfair that they’ve been largely absorbing this conflict this whole time. Can you please tell me what the exact problem would be and how we could make it work? At the end of the day we both pay equal rent here and I should be allowed to bring someone over, especially considering that Tom comes here whenever you want. We’re nothing more than just 2 housemates now and if you were living with a stranger from Spareroom such restrictions couldn’t have existed. I think I’ve let it slide and should have addressed it earlier, but it’s time we come up with a fair solution and I’d like to know if there’s anything reasonable we can do. I don’t want to go into other conversations about our fallout cause that’s done and dusted now, I want to strictly address this issue. Would you like some notice before he comes? I can’t always guarantee how far in advance I can let you know but I will do my best to give you enough time.”
Kath’s response:
“hey, I do not really appreciate this conversation being brought up 2 days before my birthday and I wish we can settle it today and not drag it on. And I do not appreciate you using Tom as a weapon to guilt trip me either. Please let me know if he is coming over tonight so that I can go somewhere else. As u probably already know I am in a really bad place at the moment and being in the apartment with both of you makes me feel very uncomfortable and unsafe. I’m already struggling to be there and I have been discussing with the agency about terminating the contract early, the terms have only been made clear to me today so I was going to message you about it. By paying a fee of £660 (£330 each) we can terminate the contract 12^th of June and I wish u will consider this. I will be gone from the apartment for 2 weeks. I would really appreciate it if you do not bring him over in the next few days as I said it will be my birthday and I will be gone for 2 weeks after if you decide to do so after this, please let me know at least 2 days in advance so that I can leave (pack clothes and everything), but do not take advantage of this as it is extremely difficult for me to commute to work – it takes me 2 hours on the bus”
Emily’s response to this:
“I don’t appreciate you using your birthday as a “weapon” to paint me as an inconsiderate person once again as you’re saying you were going to message me anyway about terminating the contract. You always have Tom round without any notice, without ever considering if it was ever uncomfortable for me given what’s happened - but now you expect me to organise our schedule around you? We can’t ever do something spontaneous or simply make plans the day before? Jake won’t be coming tonight or in the next few days until you’re away. I was hoping we could talk about why exactly this makes you uncomfortable and unsafe as it’s quite clear we wouldn’t interact with you or do anything to purposely upset/annoy you. You also had no problem being in his apartment with him without Tom there, so clearly his presence must not be that big of a problem. I am going to get back to you about terminating the contract as I have to figure out where I would go, but I’d love nothing more than to leave this apartment as early as possible too.”
There was no response after Emily’s second message.
Tom comes back to our apartment the next day and ignores me all day until the evening when he asks “Did you know that Emily was going to send those messages?”.
I say “Yes, obviously?”. He responds with “Right, okay” and starts walking back towards his room.
I ask him what was wrong with the messages, and he comes back and says “what the fuck is Emily doing sending messages like that to my suicidal girlfriend?”. He essentially thought the tone of the messages, the proximity to Kath’s birthday and the fact that we’re once again bringing up this issue of me coming round was out of order. He also said that Emily’s 2^nd message was implying that she was just going to bring me round without any notice anyway (looking at the message, no it wasn’t? It was just highlighting the unfairness of Kath expecting us to organise our schedule around her? None of the messages say that I’m going to come over, they are essentially just trying to understand exactly why it makes Kath uncomfortable).
We also did note that it was Kath’s birthday on the Friday (messages were sent on Tuesday). Maybe that wasn’t ideal, but we thought what real difference does it make? This is nothing new, it’s the same situation that’s been ongoing for the last 3 months anyway (and personally, I thought that up until the moment Kath says “okay sorry, I shouldn’t have imposed rules on you” then she shouldn’t expect that this won’t be brought up to her?).
I was a bit shocked at how angry he was and explained that we’re just trying to understand exactly what her issue is, because it still doesn’t make any sense to us. I bring up the general point about Kath imposing rules on people and expects everyone to cater to her feelings, whilst zero consideration has been given to how Emily has felt over the last 3 months, when not only does it make her uncomfortable as well that there are two “hostile presences” in her home, but especially given that those hostile presences have told her she’s not allowed to have equal use of her apartment she also pays rent for.
Tom responds with “but it’s not making Emily feel suicidal is it? Kath was having convulsions on the fucking bed last night after those messages. Why do you keep focusing on this tiny issue of coming to the apartment when my girlfriend is literally suicidal? She’s already said she’d make arrangements to leave the apartment for when you want to come over, and yet you keep pressing the issue and triggering her further”.
In that moment I was a bit taken aback and didn’t have much of a response. I kind of just sat and processed that for a few minutes, thinking “fuck, have I actually been in the wrong this whole time?”. Tom looked exhausted and stressed out, he must have been dealing with Kath’s meltdown the whole of the night before.
I say to Tom “tell Kath not to worry about me coming over while she’s there, I’m not going to, I’ll just leave it for good and won’t press this issue anymore”. Tom doesn’t give much of a response, but I think he says “I appreciate it”. He leaves for his two-week holiday shortly after.
I felt really bad that evening, thinking I had caused Tom to have to deal with whatever horrible meltdown because of me pressing this issue. Maybe I had been overly cynical of Kath, and she genuinely was just trying her best and not meaning to be manipulative.
When Tom got back from his holiday, he basically confirmed our friendship is over because I had known about those messages that caused his girlfriend to feel suicidal.
I’ve thought about the situation a lot since he left for his holiday:
· Looking back at the messages Emily sent, I think the tone is completely fine? Every single person I’ve shown the messages to has said they are actually quite kind and empathetic, and way nicer than they need to be given Kath’s behavior over the last 3 months.
· Tom’s reaction was essentially “how dare Emily have the audacity to ask for a reason why she hasn’t been allowed to have equal use of her own apartment for the last 3 months!”
· It’s true that Tom had mentioned that Kath had been having some suicidal thoughts a month prior, but I didn’t know that this would directly impact that, especially since I thought the message was quite nice and sensitive. Just the weekend before this Tom and Kath were out clubbing, having fun and they were going on holiday later that week. So obviously I didn’t realise she was still feeling so bad. How could anyone expect that simply asking the question of “why does this make you so uncomfortable” would result in this reaction.
· As soon as I did realise how intensely Kath had reacted, and what Tom had had to deal with as a result, I backed off straight away, saying that she doesn’t have to worry, I’m not going to press it anymore.
· Realistically, if this is how Kath reacts to being asked for basic fairness, then I think really she needs to be in a mental health crisis centre or hospital, not just carrying on with everyday life as if everything is fine, and certainly not in a situation where she’s imposing rules on people.
· At the end of the day, Kath’s mental health is not my responsibility, nor is it Tom’s responsibility. I think it’s unfair of Kath to have made it his problem to such a large degree.
Logically, I don’t think I’m in the wrong, and yet Tom’s reaction to this makes me feel like I’m going crazy. That’s why I wrote out everything’s that’s happened from start to finish to “audit” myself and evaluate each of my actions throughout the entire situation. I’ve looked back and don’t think I’m in the wrong for anything I’ve done. The only explanation I can think of is that Tom has been so deep in all of Kath’s mental health stuff 24/7 that he’s just not thinking clearly about this situation.

What started as a panicked attempt to get her over-intoxicated friend to a hospital ended up in a disastrous car crash that claimed the lives of her friends... and a careless God crossing the street. But Sammi's adventure wasn't about to end there. In her dying breath, the God curses Sammi to take up her mantel. Now with her three friends resurrected as ghosts, Sammi has to navigate the tricky world of godhood.
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I love houses. House flipping, house hunting, crazy properties in town, gorgeous exotic vacation destinations. I think in a past life I was a real estate agent. Or a carpenter. Interior designer, actually, probably. Maybe just rich?
Doesn’t matter. I love houses, and I was gonna get myself the best digs in town.
“Best digs in town might be a liiiiittle suspicious?” Joni said as I began adjusting the filters of my favorite search: Lottery houses.
“So do you… we’re looking for a house?” Cara was leaning over my shoulder, watching as I pushed the Rooms, Cost, Square Footage, and Bathrooms options as high as I could. “Cause if you don’t even own a place, I feel like saying you’d answer my questions when we got to New Olympia is kinda a blow off.”
“Not a blow off,” I said. “This probably won’t take too too long. I just don’t want to kick anyone out of their house that, like, is a regular person living their life.”
“Kick them out?”
I paused and looked up at Cara, eyes serious. “Please. The parroting. It’s making me nervous.” Then I looked back down and began sifting through various mansions, penthouses, lake houses, villas. “For sale or for rent?”
“For rent,” Blair said immediately. She propped her head up on her chin as she watched me scroll. “Then you don’t gotta kick anyone out.”
“She’s got a point,” Christopher said. “Both from a, like, humanitarian point of view but also from a logistical point of view. Whoever’s moving needs the money pronto to buy a new house and they’re gonna constantly be dealing with banks and shit. You’d need a new lie a day just to keep them off you. But with rentals and all, first off, landlords renting out ten grand a month properties are already making bank off other units. Yeah you’re screwing them over, but not as bad. They got a buncha others. Second, you pay monthly, so you really only gotta fend them off once a month.”
My thumb jammed the “For Rent/For Sale” switch, and I cranked up the rental price. “What else are we thinking for criteria?”
“Middle of town’s a bad idea,” Joni said. “Too easy to find us.”
“We don’t have to, like, hide though,” Christopher said. “Just say you’re both out on bail. I mean, the point is to find Miller and bring him to justice, right? That’s gonna take time. There’s no place far enough out of town that we could hide in for long.”
I squinted at him, tearing my eyes away from a sexy seven bedroom manor with two pools. “What?”
He sighed, as if convinced that I was in the wrong for not understanding what fuck he just said. “Like, think about it Sammi. We’re not actually gonna be able to hide. Or if we are, it’s gonna be in an alley or some shit.” He wrinkled his nose at the same time I did. “They’re cops with detectives and shit, and they think we shot someone and broke someone else out of jail. They’re gonna find us. We’ll have to lie, not hide, to avoid being put back. So may as well be local to all the action.” With this, he pointed directly at a lofty unit in the center of town.
Hmm. He brought up a valid point, so I checked it out.
A five bedroom penthouse with three terraces giving outdoor views of the entire city. Bathrooms that put the hotel to shame. Closets the size of my old bedroom. A pool deck. Appliances with fancy brand names I only ever heard on episodes of “Dream House” and hadn’t actually realized existed in the real world. Enough bedrooms for me, Cara, and the ghosts to each sleep separately.
For a moment, the enormity of it washed over me. Not just the enormity of the house, though it was enormous, but the reality of what I could accomplish. This apartment was twenty five thousand dollars a month. I’m not entirely sure I’ve made that much money in my life. Or, okay, probably around that, but that’s my point. This was the kind of unit rich people showed off in out-of-touch blogs or escapist shows about the lifestyles of famous people. And it could literally be mine if I could play my cards right. Or not even right. Just not catastrophically wrong.
Cause I was a God. And for the first time since becoming a God, I was using my abilities, my status, my familiars and shit to do something cool. Not rob a TechShack of some earpods or break in or out of a hospital.
This was a big yield.
As I had my little epiphany, Cara had taken over scrolling my phone, much to the relief of my ghosts, who’d started grumbling about the static screen while I zoned out.
“Okay.” Cara looked at me. “I’m not gonna ask any of the questions you know I want to ask, cause that’ll just piss you off.” Thank God she was learning. “So we’ll skip that for now and ask the really important question. How are you gonna get your hands on this place?”
–
Step 1 was to get to the place, which kinda sucked, given we were still at Pizza Dogs. It just wasn’t a very cool start to the coolest scheme I’d ever pulled off. Luckily Pizza Dogs closed at 9, so a solid number of people were leaving the restaurant. I was able to wave down a waitress who’d just checked off of her shift and convince her she was a taxi driver.
“You’re really loving this whole taxiing thing, huh?” Christopher said.
“At least she’s not talking like a robot trying to use slang.” I grit my teeth at the memory of Cops Cop and Taxi Service.
“No, you just told her she was mute.” Blair stuck her lip out. “That’s mean, Sammi.”
“I told her she couldn’t talk. That’s different.” I gave Cara a weak smile, but she hadn’t even commented on my ghost talking. She just buried her face in her hands. See? Learning.
Step 2 was gonna be actually getting in the unit. The listing on HouzeHunting didn’t exactly have the name of the landlord on it, so I was gonna have to get creative getting in touch with them. What it did have was ‘24 hour doorman service,’ which meant getting in would be easy peasy.
Finally we pulled up to the address I’d given our driver. 1732 East Windham Street. She leaned out the window, looking up the seventy story building.
“It’s totally appropriate for you to talk now,” I said as I scrambled out, towing Cara with me. No sense in actually making her mute for life.
The woman nodded. “You, uh, live here or visiting? If you don’t mind me asking.”
I flipped my wad of black hair over my shoulder, wincing at how singularly it moved. I shoulda combed it after my bath yesterday.
“Live here, obviously.” I gave a rich person kinda snort, nose in the air and all.
“Huh.” She looked back at me, rubbing the back of her neck as if it was sore from craning up so high. “But you needed a taxi to get here?”
“Uh.” Rich people used taxis, right? On the ladder from Sammi to Bill Gates, someone had to use them, and if I couldn’t afford a taxi normally, then the typical passenger must exist somewhere above me. “My fancy personal car got towed cause I was parking it in a fire lane.”
The woman didn’t look convinced. Not that she thought I was lying, but she still looked at me like I was dumb as dirt. “You don’t have, like, a personal driver?”
I cocked my head at her, trying to mirror Joni’s sassy tilt but probably just looking confused. “Are you offering?”
Her lips parted, and I could see her brain chewing on this question. “What do you… wait, are you being serious?”
Was I? Suddenly I wasn’t sure. Having a personal chauffeur could be kinda great. Someone always available to text or call when I needed a ride so I wouldn’t have to keep remembering where I left my car. Besides, driving made me nervous. I’d never been a particularly bad driver, no prior accidents, never really hit anything in the past, unless we’re counting bumper cars. Which we’re not, cause I’m a menace in bumper cars. But that’s like the point.
Or, no, the point was, I wanted to minimize driving, and this woman could be key. Of course, I knew nothing about her. What if she had a family at home and I told a too strong lie and she never saw them again?
But then, she wouldn’t be offering if she wasn’t serious, right? Sure I’d lied and told her she was a taxi driver, but the average every day taxi driver didn’t just ditch their families to be rich people’s chauffeur’s.
“Uh. Yeah.” I looked at the ghosts. Two thumbs up from Christopher, one from Blair, and two thumbs down from Joni. That was a total of one thumbs up, if my math was right. “Yeah, I pay ten thousand a month.” We could figure that out later.
The woman’s eyes shot open. “Okay, you’re actually fucking with me. You’re actually offering to hire me for ten thousand a month.”
I nodded. “Yeah. And you can… I mean, if you got your own place, you can stay there obviously but you could also stay in one of my bedrooms. I got some extra ones I was gonna give to the gho–uh, dogs. But I don’t have dogs, so you were next on the list. Well, a chauffeur was next on the list. But also if you’ve got–do you have a family?”
Each of my statements plunked out of my mouth like gumballs out of a broken candy machine. But she just kept nodding like this was a normal proposal.
“I mean, I had a boyfriend.” Her face flushed crimson. “Kinda embarrassing to say at my age. Thought we were–” She took a deep breath. “Thought he was the one. I’m not gonna say I was looking to have kids or anything, so I suppose age doesn’t matter, but that doesn’t mean I really want to start over. Five years wasted is all, and at my age, the well starts to dry up a bit. People look at you a bit…” She blinked. “I’m sorry, that’s not really what you asked, was it.”
It wasn’t entirely, but I was kinda hooked on the story now. “Yeah it was,” I said. “It was the first question in the interview, and you’re nailing it. Uh, you actually already passed the first round. Let’s take the rest inside.”
The woman let out a shaky breath and smoothed her frizzled hair. “Right, of course. Thank you so much!”
Cara had, thank God, kept her mouth shut this whole interview process, so I just towed my newly formed posse towards the doorman.
“My key got lost,” I said confidently and too quickly, noticing way late that there weren’t any visible keyholes anywhere on the door. “Uh…” I looked nervously at the ghosts.
“Just tell him someone said he should let you in,” Joni said.
“Yeah.” Blair smiled. “Carl from management.”
“No–”
“Carl from management said you should let me in,” I said, bowling over Joni’s protests. “I own that top penthouse suite. Suite 72. The one for rent. Or, not for rent cause I’m renting it now. And I called earlier because my key is broken and Carl your manager said–”
I stopped finally because the doorman had long since stopped frowning perplexedly at me and had just tapped his card against the door.
“Haha,” I said, verbalizing the laugh a little too hard. “Look at me, talking too much as always.”
He frowned again, but nodded nonetheless, before holding the door open for me. “Here you are.”
“Thank you so much,” I said, stepping in like a real fancy lady. “I’ve got it from here.”
And, because I was stupid and always spoke without thinking, he nodded and shut the door behind me.
So technically Step 2 ‘get in’ was done, but it was like, barely done. Like when your mom says ‘go to your room’ so you sit in the doorway. Cause I wasn’t really close to my new apartment yet, which meant a new step on the list. Step 3? Get into New Olympia.
Somehow a little sneaky ‘Step 3b, interview your new chauffeur’ had snuck on the list too, but that would be easy to finish once I got to the actual unit.
It was literally impossible to keep my jaw in its socket as we walked through the lobby. I was actually straight up speechless at how fancy it all was. There was a bar in the lobby, like this was some hotel! Given my experience with rich people things, it was either totally free or thirty bucks a glass. Still, it was pricey enough that I should probably have been charged just for looking at it. Even Cara and the driver had their mouths gaping open as they looked around, taking in the mirror shiny marbely floors and columns.
I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath, and really tried to capture this moment of peace and quiet inside the lobby of my new home.
“Blair stop humming, they’ll be able to hear you.”
“I’m using my regular humming, not my banshee humming.”
“My bad, shoulda clarified. I’m able to hear you, and you’re annoying me.”
“Joni, why are you always so mean.”
“She’s, like, kinda got a point. You need to get that stick out of your ass.”
“I’ll get the stick out of my ass when Blair stops humming.”
“Bro, it’s totally more than the humming, and you know it.”
“Is singing okay?”
“No.”
“What about–”
“Why don’t you just whistle, Blair?”
“That’s not nice. You know I can’t whistle.”
“Kinda my point.”
“Hey, be nice to Blair, Joni.”
Peace and quiet were overrated anyway. We were here for schemes.
My eyelids snapped open. In front of me was a big old reddish wood desk. The sign on it said “Main desk, open 7AM to 9 PM.” Next to it was another, more temporary sign, “Partial Service After Hours. Ring Bell For Assisance.”
My eyes drifted hungrily to the shiny golden bell. It was the kind you see in movies and shows, you press down a few times to summon the waiter or whoever sits behind the desk.
“Just once, Sammi,” Joni said, already reading my mind. “You ring it once.”
“But Joni,” I whispered, hand hovering over it, “I’m a God.”
DING DING DING DING DING DING DING
Seven was overkill. The man was there after the first two rings. But I couldn’t stop. It was too satisfying.
He regarded me with pained eyes. “Ma’am, you didn’t have to ring it that many times.”
“I didn’t,” I said confidently. And just like that, the pained look vanished. He didn’t look comfortable though, probably because I didn’t look like I should be there. Time to fix that.
I jutted my chin out. “Is there, like, a master key to all the elevators and units you can give me.”
The guy blinked rapidly. “I’m… sorry, you want what?”
“Lies, Sammi. That was a request!”
This is why we needed Joni and the stick up her ass.
“Uh.”
“Tell him that… I don’t know, someone from management said you could borrow a skeleton key.”
I smiled. “Carl from management told me I could have a skeleton key. A, you know, a key that opens all the doors.” I gave Joni a panicked glance.
She motioned her finger in a repeating loop and mouthed ‘go on.’
“And.” I swallowed. “You said you would give us one.”
The concierge sighed. “I know. I know. I just.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Carl doesn’t manage my department, so if this isn’t the right call, Sandy’s gonna have my head.”
I eyed the ghosts nervously. The lie had worked but it didn’t seem to fully convince him. “Sandy said…”
“Keep it simple,” Joni hissed.
“...that you would give me a key to let me in?”
“Right, please hold a moment, it’s almost done transferring.” The concierge paused and looked at a key card on his desk. He squinted before picking it up and beeping it against a little card pad. It flashed red. “I’m sorry,” he said. “The transfer didn’t go through right. One moment please.” Then he typed on his computer for a few very long minutes while Cara, the driver, and I all stood frozen by the elevator. After several breath-holding moments of silence (yeah, now the ghosts decide to shut up) he tapped the card again and it flashed green. “There we go.”
I let out a long breath before scuttling over to pick up my card. “Thank you!” I said, a cheery forced grin on my face. “Thank you so much! Remember, this came from, uh, Sandy’s boss, and she told you not to tell Sandy, so keep it zipped!”
He mimed zipping his lips as I waved again before rushing to the elevator.
Soon we were zooming up dozens and dozens of levels as my breathing came more and more naturally. Even the elevator was fancy. All golden mirrors, which Blair was staring at, disappointed that she couldn’t see her reflection in them.
There was no one on the seventy second story and ther was only one door, at the end of a gleaming hardwood hallway. My black boots clomped awkwardly as I escorted the driver–still in a bright orange shirt with a barking dog and a slice of pizza on it–and Cara–still in an orange jumpsuit–towards the door at the end.
Once I got there, I tapped my card, and we were in.
I don’t really have good words to describe the place. Huge, for one. Empty for another. Those were the two big ones. I could have gawked at it all, but I was a little tired of gawking, so I filed away ‘tour my house and get it fitted out’ for later. Besides, I had all my gear and shit still in my car… somewhere. I’d get it up here eventually and then the real decorating could start.
But there was a first step. Well two first steps. Okay, technically only one could be the first step, so we’ll do that first.
I waved Cara to join me in one of the bedrooms.
“I’ll finish your interview in like, fifteen minutes,” I said to the driver. She nodded.
“Okay,” I said, closing the door behind me and plopping down on the ground.
Cara stood awkwardly, eyeing the big ass empty room with a big ass empty bathroom off to the side. “Okay,” she said, still standing. “Do I need to–”
“No no, I said I would…” I trailed off, lips pursed and confused. “You wanted… Or… I was gonna tell you–”
“Oh shit yeah.” Now suddenly Cara was on the floor across from me, leaning in. “You’re telling me what the fuck is going on.”
My breath rushed out in a long woosh as I contemplated how to start this. Joni had made a snarky comment at one point like ‘pushing this off won’t make it easier’ and I’d responded with a ‘I’ll come up with a plan while I delay’ which of course I hadn’t, and now I was angry cause Joni was right.
“So the problem is,” I said, starting slowly. “Everything I tell you, you’ll believe.”
“Obviously,” Cara said, believing me instantly.
“But no one else but me knows what’s going on. So I can’t help but…” I trailed off again, noticing Cara nodding animatedly. This wasn’t working. I wanted her to believe me cause she fully understood and accepted my story, not cause of magic. But to get that, I couldn’t be the one to tell her, and the only other people who knew about my godliness were the ghosts and–
I smacked myself on the face. Sammi, you’re a genius. An actual, mensa accredited whiz kid.
“Blair,” I said, smiling. “I think I’ll offload this to you.”
Blair frowned, scrunching her nose up for a moment, before pointing at herself. “Me?”
I nodded confidently. Blair knew everything but lacked the Verity Tongue. This would be a sinch.
“Cara, how do you feel about a little ghost story?” I shivered a bit, getting goosebumps at my own words. Now that lead-in was brilliant. ‘A little ghost story’, who came up with that? I was getting smarter by the minute.
“Oooooooooooooh.” Blair zoomed around the room, and Cara leapt to her feet.
“What the fuck?”
“Bewaaaaare moooooortal,” Blair droned, pitching her voice low. “For the story you’re about to hear is both dreadful and awwwwwful. Fear for your soul for those who hear this story are cursed and will find themselves in an early–”
“Blair!” I shouted. “Stop that. What the fuck? Literally not like that. Like literally anything but that. You need to start with–”
“Yo, Sammi, dawg, chill.” Christopher patted my back. “We’ll help her out.”
“Yeah, you don’t want to taint the story with your god powers,” Joni said. “We’ll sort Blair. You interview the pizza waitress.”
Suddenly my genius felt like the opposite of genius. Yeah, delegation was important, but I did want to hear what the ghosts were telling Cara. Didn’t I need to know? What if they told her something totally wrong and stupid? Or what if they said something mean? Like what if they really played up the part about my reckless speeding? What if they lied about something? Made me look incompetent.
I opened my mouth to protest, but Christopher just gave me an icy pat again.
“Look, you’re gonna jump in to correct something we say, and it’s just gonna fuck up Cara.” He gave me a serious look, one of the most serious looks he’d given me since this whole ordeal. Which was honestly kinda stupid cause of all the times to pull out there ‘seriously, Sammi’ face, he was picking now? Was this really the right time for this? “Seriously, Sammi. We got this.”
I didn’t believe him at all, but they were absolutely right about me likely fucking this up with my motor mouth. No way was I sitting still while Joni made snarky comments about me, like, eating gross bagels or telling cops to steal poop.
“All right,” I said. “Come out when you’re done. Or if you need hands at all. Like if she passes out and you need to check for a pulse.”
“Are you talking to me?” Cara said.
“No. I’m talking to the ghosts.” And with that I closed the door.
Looks like Sammi's got a house! And maybe a minion or two on top of her familiars. Let's see how Cara takes all of this...

Not the best writter nor the most knowledgeable 40k fan, but there is my humble contribution for this AU
I tried my best for this, and probably have some contradictions with the lore, I probably missed some important parts or decisions of the community. I apologise if that's the case.
Not a native english speaker, sorry for the mistakes
Eager to read your opinions about this.
Disclaimer: I've tried to make the relationship wierd and to emphasise the following elements: « Is she... messing with your mind ? » and the possibility she might read OS thoughts (cf u/Sweet_older-Sister 's Magnus post).
Not everyone is promised for a great destiny.
For a scholar in the City of Light, being born and continuing to live on the splendid Prospero, learning day by day, exchanging with peers and studying hundreds of books and grimoires is a more than ordinary destiny, but one that is oh so satisfying. Add to that the occasional opportunity to speak with the brilliant minds of the XVth Legion, and it's hard to imagine a better life. Here, among all the scholars, there is one who stands out from the rest for his unquenchable thirst for knowledge. Friendly nicknamed ‘Bookworm’ by his peers, it's almost impossible to see him without his nose buried in a book. With his face hidden beneath the hood of his bure, he cuts himself off from the world and devours every sentence, every word, every letter that passes before his eyes. It is said that the only time he took his eyes off his reading was when warriors from the 15th were addressing him. Like many other inhabitants of the planet, Bookworm had an affinity with the Warp. However, his presence was no weaker or brighter than anyone else's, and he only stood out from the crowd because of his habit of reading all the time. He lived a peaceful and happy life, enviable in a way.
As the Lord of Prospero, Magnolia rules and lives on this world, surrounded by her precious children. Returning to her planet after another victorious conquest, and receiving a triumphant welcome, the Cyclopean Sorceress marched through the capital at the head of her legion before the astonished eyes of the people. The distinctive scents of Prospero invaded her nostrils, awakening a slight nostalgia for the days of her childhood, right up to the arrival of the Emperor. With her noble gait, she moved mechanically towards the Great Library, eager to find new things to record and archive. The fact that she was in such a quiet place, where all known knowledge converged, appealed to her spirit, even though she was obviously the source of distraction for all scholastic eyes. Her presence, so imposing and remarkable, was an object of admiration for all the scholars eager to imbibe her knowledge. Trying to ignore the stares, she browsed the shelves of the library, observing the bindings of the books that passed before her eyes, when, at the turn of a corner, she stopped abruptly, almost knocking over a hooded figure who didn't even reach her waist.
Not a word. Not a glance. Not even a whisper. The silhouette continued on its way, unperturbed, even ignoring the accident that had almost occurred. Initially disturbed by what had just happened, Magnolia held back a cry of protest and, intrigued, tried to probe the Warp to observe the small light that had just passed. This moment was as absurd as imagining a firefly shining brighter than a lighthouse, and yet... Carefully approaching the little firefly, Magnolia infiltrated its mind to see what might be hiding there. She was amazed to see an exact replica of Tizca's library, with the same shelves, the same walls, the same stone slabs... The only real difference was that there were far fewer books than in the original. Wandering around the place, stunned by the perfection this mortal had instilled in her mind, she skirted both empty and full shelves, until finally she found the mortal's consciousness, seated in front of an old desk, filling in the blank pages of a book. This singular discovery aroused her curiosity even more. She approached at a snail's pace and glanced over the shoulder of this strange individual before opening her only eye. There, on the paper, were words she knew, for she herself had already read them. The mortal copied and engraved in his mind the works he read, and did so with particular care, annotating certain passages to add his own thoughts. In this way, each book in her mental library constituted not only what she had read, but also the ideas that had grown from it.
Magnolia observed this mortal's consciousness attentively, amazed by what he had achieved, even allowing herself to leaf through some of the works already completed. Some might think that this person was a dullard who existed only through his reading, but there was a brilliant, if shy, mind behind it, preferring to keep his ideas and innovations to himself, whether they were good or bad. As the lines went by, a guilty pleasure sprang up in the Primarch's heart, as she read every thought of this curious little mortal. In a way, he could be just like her, and she saw this as a pleasant reflection in a distorting mirror. However, this same pleasure caused a slight disturbance in Magnolia's psyche which spilled over into the mortal's consciousness. For the first time, his silhouette quivered, attracting the Cyclops' gaze, then he pulled a small diary from a bag at his feet and scribbled the date followed by the simple phrase “feeling watched” before putting it away and resuming his work. Having witnessed all this, Magnolia did her best to regain composure, her curiosity having reached its peak. She bent down to search the bag, found the newspaper and, imitating the silhouette's handwriting, added ‘Thoughts about Primarch Magnolia’ and put the newspaper back in its place before leaving the mortal mind.
Her cheeks slightly redder than usual, the Primarch headed for her palace, ruminating on what had just happened. Why had she done this? How had this scholar managed to arouse her curiosity to such an extent? How was it possible that a mortal could worm his way into her thoughts without them having spoken for even a moment? She had no answer, but one thing was certain: she had to see him again and study him. She wanted to understand how a demigoddess like her could be so distracted by a mortal. The further away she got, the more the image of this hooded scholar haunted her thoughts, and the more a feeling of discomfort slowly gripped her heart, weighing down on her chest. The day passed, and not for a moment were her thoughts neglected by this mysterious scholar, and when night came, devoured by her own thoughts, exhausted by this new sensation compressing her chest, she decided to act. Sailing on the currents of the Immaterium, Magnolia rediscovered the glow of the firefly and once again entered her slumbering mind.
The mortal's dream was one of absolute calm. It was an infinite expanse of calm water, on which he stood amidst creations representing his desires, his plans, his hopes, his family... Everything here was soothing, and Magnolia took the time to observe every detail of each representation, discovering a little more about the personality of this stranger who was no longer completely himself. From time to time, as he fashioned a new representation, the scholar would glance in the direction of the Primarch who was hiding as best he could. A smile would appear on his lips and, in a whisper, he would resume his work, that night erecting an immense block of roughly carved marble. The block was twice the scholar's height, and seemed destined to represent a person whose features and details were as yet undefined. All night long, the mortal shaped his dream, under the curious gaze of the demigoddess. The next day, and the days that followed, she was unable to go to the Great Library, too busy as she was, but every night she would enter the man's mind to spy on his dreams, watching the slow but careful progress of the mysterious statue standing proud. She was spotted a few times, but each time, the mortal smiled and resumed his work in earnest. Was it a coincidence that the greatest advances were made after she had been spotted? This little merry-go-round lasted a few days. And the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months. Every night, the sculpture advanced, representing a woman whose facial features were still indefinable.
When Magnolia received the order to leave from Prospero, she demanded that a certain scholar be taken aboard the Photep, but, unsure of her own actions and refusing to admit her obsession with a civilian, she disguised the whole thing as a mobilisation order for new members of her ship's staff, making sure nonetheless that the object of her obsession was one of the new arrivals. When she saw him set foot on the metal frame, her face lit up, and she couldn't help but enter, once again, into the mind of the man whose absence was causing her such unusual sensations. Rushing over to the desk, she found, as usual, the little man's consciousness writing, yet her eye was focused on the bag at the foot of the desk. She slipped her hand into it, grabbed the newspaper and read all the pages she had missed since her first intrusion, and as the pages and days went by, ‘Thoughts about Primarch Magnolia’ became ‘Sweet thoughts about Primarch Magnolia’. Each day began with ‘Dreamed about Primarch Magnolia. Thoughts about her the day, and dream about her at night. Somehow, it feels nice’. The Cyclops' cheeks took on a slightly darker hue, moved and embarrassed that he was thinking of her too. As she put the newspaper back in the bag, the mortal dipped his hand in and brushed against her skin. He stopped, turned his head and met the Primarch's gaze. Under the shadow of her hood shone two supernaturally blue eyes, but in front of the crimson-pink red face, a huge, shy smile took shape. ‘I hope I won't wake up if it's a dream’ he said. Caught off guard, the Primarch held out her hand and showed him sparkles ‘Hu... Look little Bookworm! A cool spell!’ and then vanished in panic. The next entry in the diary was ‘Daydreamed about the Lady. She was cute.’.
Later that night, Magnolia hesitated to dive into Bookworm's dreams, but she eventually built up enough courage to do it. There, she saw the finished statue. It was a magnificent representation of the demigoddess. Her noble face was imbued with gentleness and affection. It was an expression she had never seen before, and yet seeing it brought a deep warmth to her heart. On the statue, from around her good eye and heart, sigils were engraved, describing in detail and passion the fantasies and thoughts that the scholar harboured about this divinity. There was an overwhelming purity and sincerity, and the more the Primarch read what was there, the more the fire in her chest intensified. She had finally found the answers to her questions, and understood Aurelia much better now: ‘Is this what she called love then?’
Deep within the Warp, a certain Weaver saw a string burning and disappear, then it chuckled ‘Not everyone is promised for a great destiny, but the Destiny watch over everyone.'
Hope you enjoyed it

First / Previous
Back on the job, my eyes kept going to the camera that was on enclosure one. Andrew told me its real name, but I think that’d be a step too far, putting that out on the internet. I’d just stick with ‘Steve the bear’. Whatever it was, I just knew I’d have a nightmare about it eventually. Last night I slept fitfully but okay. But I know my brain, and I’d already had a nightmare about Yui stabbing me with one of her legs (they are not needle-sharp in real life, this was dream logic) and walking around, having not noticed I was a Ripley-kebab on her leg. I kept trying to get her attention but for some reason I’d been worried about sounding rude.
On my third walk around the zoo, at about 12 a.m. I saw Leila again, who I’d been noticing more and more often. She never looked interested in talking, only walking through the enclosures, and by that I meant any and all of them. She didn’t seem to have a favorite. I assume that however much of her mind that was left over from being alive still gravitated toward looking at the animals, since getting too close was what killed her in the first place.
Then, in enclosure eight, I saw a new creature and stopped abruptly. This one looked chill, but I wasn’t about to make any assumptions. It looked unique in a strange way, shaped like a giant lizard but built like a big cat of some sort. It had an uncanny valley human face, green hair for a mane, and also a horn like a unicorn. It felt like something drawn by an imaginative five-year-old brought to life, but was still somehow oddly endearing.
“Hello,” she spoke, noticing me noticing her. Her voice was distinctly female and oddly deep.
“Hello,” I responded with false cheer.
She pushed herself to her feet and I took an instinctive step back, but she seem to notice, much less take offense. “You’re the guard here?”
“Yup. That’s me.”
“Thank you.”
I blinked, taken aback. “Ah…you’re welcome. For what?”
She cocked her head. “For guarding me.”
That was different. Most of the impressions I had gotten from the animals so far were that they wanted to eat me. And the idea that this one was thankful for me doing my job was refreshing, don’t get me wrong, but made me wary. Call me a cynic, I guess.
“My name is tàiyang. You can call me Sun,” she told me.
“Hi, Sun. I’m Ripley.”
Then she looked toward the sky. “It’s going to rain tonight.”
After a thoughtful moment, I asked, “Does that make you sad?”
“Why would it make you sad?”
I smiled. “Because your name is Sun.”
She paused and then said, “I don’t understand.”
Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, telling a pun to one of the animals. “Never mind.” I glanced up at the sky. “I thought the rain is supposed to stay away from here. Are the ones who told me that wrong?”
“Yes.”
“Well that’s good to know,” I murmured to myself, thinking of my raincoat hanging in the security office closet. It wasn’t that surprising, honestly. Sometimes I felt like the meteorologists in Arkansas try to read the entrails of goats to figure out the weather. It’s all a mess and it’s all made up.
At that, the animal looked to the sky and fell silent. She appeared to be the most uneventful introduction I’d had so far, and I was incredibly grateful for it. Except then the animal kept talking. “He’s under a spell.”
I blinked. “What?”
She looked back to me. “Andrew. He’s under a spell. He’s very unhappy.”
I had no idea how to react to that. For a second I just stared. The sudden jolt of being told my boss was currently being afflicted by magic left me floundering. “He… What?” I finally asked. “Where is he?”
“In his office.”
Oh shit. My eyes instinctively darted in the direction of the main office. I always just entered through the door on the west side of the building, of course, since it led to the security room. It was unnecessary for me to go through the door that first led into the lobby-slash-office Andrew worked out of. Sometimes he even left early, so it was locked anyway. I had the key, but again, it was unnecessary.
Whatever had happened, assuming this animal wasn’t joking around (she seemed completely serious), I needed to establish whether she was right. Leaving the enclosure of the animal I’d just met, I quickly walked back to the small building.
Taking a deep breath, I knocked loudly. “Andrew, are you in there?”
The only reply was silence. I stood there until enough time had passed that it was obvious that no one was coming to answer the door. Taking out my phone, I dialed his cell number and wait as it rang. Then I grimaced when I heard it ringing inside.
Hanging up and shoving the phone back in my pocket, I stared at the closed door.
Trying the doorknob, I found that it was unlocked, and my heart skipped a beat. Andrew always locked his office before leaving. Opening the door slowly, the lights were off in the room, leaving only the faint red glow of the lights outside peeking around his curtains, so I turned on a light. Then my heart plummeted into my stomach, because there was Andrew, splayed limply on the ground, his eyes only half open.
I bolted to him and dropped to his side as he let out a whimper.
“Andrew,” I said, putting two fingers to the side of his neck. He remained silent, and despite his relaxed, wilted appearance, his heart was racing, and I wondered if he was in pain. The room smelled, and it was clear to me that he’d lost control of his bowels. I couldn’t believe I’d been working here for hours without knowing he was in the next room like this.
“Fucking hell. I’m so sorry it took me so long to find you. Can you hear me? What happened?” He made a small sound, unfocused eyes attempting to meet mine, but it was as if he were severely deprived of sleep or something, unable to focus. His mouth opened and he tried to say something, but he couldn’t speak. All I got was halting words mushed into each other. I felt for him; he must’ve been mortified by his condition. I would’ve been, at least.
The obvious solution would be to get Suzanne’s number from Andrew’s phone, so I searched him for it and found it in his right jacket pocket. I pressed the button the iPhone, swiped, and let out a sigh of frustration. He was security conscious enough to lock his phone with a code, of course.
“Can you… You can’t tell me the code,” I said knowing. He grunted quietly.
“What happened?”
I shrieked and jumped to my feet. Leila stood in the doorway, staring in shock at Andrew’s body. “You scared the bejesus out of me,” I exclaimed. I stopped myself before asking if she could make some noise when she moved or if I could put a bell on her. “What does it look like happened? Someone put a spell on him.” Abruptly, my stance changed, standing up straight. “Wait. Do you know how to get in touch with…anyone?” I asked desperately.
“I know Ms. Cooper’s phone number,” she said frankly.
My eyes widened. “Seriously? How?”
“Andrew gave it to me after I worked here for three months.”
That stopped my brain dead in its tracks. “You…used to work here?” I whispered. I remembered Andrew telling me that one of the night shift managers had been killed, but he hadn’t told me it was Leila. Whether it was for her own privacy or her dignity or some other reason, it didn’t really matter. What mattered was that I could call Suzanne.
“I worked here for three months,” Leila confirmed as I took out my own phone.
“Okay…what’s her number?” I asked, ready to dial. She rattled off the number and dialed it.
The phone rang twice times before someone answered. “Hello?”
“Hi, is this Suzanne?”
“Yes, who’s this?”
She had a British accent like Andrew did. I took a deep breath and said, “It’s Ripley Mason. I got your number from Leila. I’m here in Andrew’s office and he’s in really bad shape. Someone cast a spell on him and it’s like he’s lost control of the part of his brain that lets him move around and speak.”
“What?” she snapped. “What happened?”
“I-I don’t know,” I said, glancing back to Andrew. He actually looked calmer now, and I hoped that was because he knew Suzanne could fix this. “I was doing my rounds and I met Sun; she’s the one that told me and that’s why I came into his office. I don’t- Who would do this? What do I do?”
“It’s okay, Ripley. I’ll leaving now and will be there soon,” she told me. I heard rustling in the background, the sounds of getting out of a chair and footsteps. “Did you check the security cameras?”
My eyes shut in irritation against my stupidity. It hadn’t even occurred to me. “I’m sorry. Of course, I’ll do that right away.” Proof positive that I was completely out of it. Some security guard I was, not even able to keep my head in an emergency.
“Don’t apologize, Ripley, you’re quite within your rights to be discombobulated at the moment,” she said. “And I’d like you stay with Andrew, but I would prefer to know what happened. Leave his side just for a second to check the footage.
“Okay.” I crouched down to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll be right back.” His eyes flicked to me, but he didn’t make a sound. Getting back to my feet and walking over to the security room door, I went in and sat at my desk, putting the phone on speaker so I could more easily navigate the footage.
After fidgeting around with the unfamiliar aspect of the program, since I’d never needed to look back before and Andrew only showed me how to do it once, I finally went back to the point where the spell had been cast. “Okay, he walked into his office with two men at…4:08 p.m. and it looks like he was fine with it. He wasn’t under duress, from what I can see.”
“That’s likely Michael Wise and Eric Henry,” Suzanne told me. “They were allegedly making a donation, a herd of Bagot goats.”
“Allegedly?”
“Well, I’m operating under the assumption that they lied if Andrew is spelled.”
I grimaced. That was a good point. Watching them have a conversation, I saw Andrew tense, and then turn to dart toward his desk, but he only made it two steps before one of the men raised what looked like a wand, snapping it in my late boss’s direction, speaking something. As I saw Andrew’s body seize like he’d been hit with a taser and collapse, I hissed in a sharp breath. “Cripes.”
“What is it?”
“One of them had a wand,” I managed. “He-He did something with it.”
“I’m here, Ripley. Come back to the office.”
My eyes widened and I did as I was told, stunned to see her opening the front door. “How did you get here so fast?” I asked.
The woman gave me a small smile, rendered grim by the situation. “Call it a trick of the trade.”
“Oh. Gotcha.”
Suzanne was all hard edges, her pin-straight blond hair cut at an angle just below her ears, and she wore a smart blue pants suit with matching pumps. But then she looked to Andrew and her face softened, despair and fury flashing across it as she quickly walked to him and knelt at his side, taking his weak hand in hers.
“Oh, Andrew,” she whispered. “I’m so, so sorry. You’ll be okay. I already texted a healer and asked her to come by. A friend of mine named Janine.”
I looked back to Andrew’s face, his eyes open and his expression one of exhaustion, but then quickly looked to Suzanne. “Why would someone do this?” I asked.
“I have a feeling at least one of our animals is missing,” she told me, her voice low and hard.
Anger flared up in me. “What?” I asked tersely. I glanced back in the direction of the cameras. “Should we check the cameras to see which enclosure they went to? Do we- Are there cops you can call for this? What do we do?”
Suzanne’s face slowly faded to sadness. “I’ll take care of it,” she said. “You’re accurate in that I do have a different police I’ll call about this. But there’s a good chance we won’t get the animal back.”
“Wait, why? Come on, there’s got to be magic you could do, right?” I asked anxiously.
“The animal will have been warded and sold to someone immediately,” she explained. “They would’ve had a buyer set up, and gone straight there to reduce the risk of being caught with it. Anyone who is buying an animal like this is extremely powerful, which means that even if we catch the men who stole it, they’d go to prison, but they wouldn’t risk angering the buyer. They won’t tell the authorities who it was, even for a lesser sentence. Losing an animal to robbery has only happened twice in the zoo’s history, this is the third time, but that’s how it played out both times. Actually, in the first instance, the police didn’t even catch the people who took it, since they were wearing masks.”
Just then, there was a knock at the door, and Suzanne pushed herself to her feet, walking over and opening it without hesitation. “He’s in here.” I took the opportunity to open the windows and turned down the thermostat so it would start displacing the smelly air.
A woman walked in, Janine presumably. “Oh, goodness,” she breathed, going quickly to Andrew. She took his pulse with one hand as she pulled a wand out from her purse with the other. “It’s good he’s staying calm. Redire orior can be terrifying to be subjected to.”
“He wasn’t calm when I got here,” I told her quietly. “I’ve been here for hours and didn’t know he was here until just a few minutes ago.”
Janine swore softly. “All right. Let me get started.”
I didn’t know what that meant, so I turned to Suzanne. “What did she call this?”
“The spell is ‘redire orior’. It’s a regression of part of the mind, basically all the way back to when we were first born,” she said tightly, anger flickering across her face. “He has no more control over his body than he did when he was a newborn baby.”
I grimaced, looking back to him. “Oh my god,” I whispered. It meant exactly what it had looked like when I’d walked in: Andrew had been rendered completely helpless. Rage welled up inside me, despising the men who’d done this and wishing desperately that Suzanne had been more confident in finding them.
Suzanne took the opportunity to walk into the security office and I heard her sit in my chair. Janine put down her wand to have both hands free and told Andrew, “Just relax, concentrate on breathing slowly,” she said, carefully pulling both of his legs out and rolling him onto his back. She then put his arms at his sides and, picking up her wand, pointed it at his forehead.
I took in a sharp breath of surprise as I saw a faint glow coming from the wand, through the top of it and then to Andrew’s forehead. She held that position for a while, muttering under her breath.
A few minutes later, Suzanne came out and took her phone from her pocket, saying, “I don’t recognize either of the men in the footage. But they seemed distressed, particularly the one that didn’t hurt Andrew. I don’t think that’s what was meant to happen.”
“Meant to or not, it happened,” I muttered through clenched teeth. I’d already decided that my new to-do list every day included first checking the office cameras.
“Andrew,” Janine said, letting the glow fade. “Can you speak?”
“I…yeah,” he whispered.
Suzanne came over to my side. “Thank goodness. How are you feeling? How’s the vertigo?”
“Pretty much gone,” he said, closing his eyes for a long moment, though he didn’t try to stand up.
“Andrew, I pulled up the cameras in the office and listened to the audio,” she told him. “I know what happened.”
My eyebrows furrowed. “The cameras have audio?”
“It’s under admin privileges, but yes. Andrew, you should have known better,” she said softly, looking back to him. “The gun in one of the desk drawers? I presume that’s what you were lunging for, because those two men had just made it clear they were here for an animal.”
“Yeah,” he sighed. “I just…” He looked distraught.
“They told you to just let them get what they came for,” Suzanne said. “Why didn’t you?” My lips parted in shock.
“The last time this happened, I cooperated, but…I regretted it,” he growled. “We never saw Harriet again. I couldn’t just stand here and let them do whatever they wanted. Not again.” I assumed Harriet was one of their animals, but I didn’t ask.
“Don’t ever do something so foolish again,” she told him, on the verge of being upset, her emotions likely tempered by his condition. “I want to make it clear to you that this job, these animals, they’re immensely important, but they are not worth your life. He could have killed you. If someone gains access to the zoo again to steal an animal I want you to cooperate fully. Understood?”
“Yeah,” Andrew muttered.
The idea that Andrew had tried to bring a gun to a wand fight was staggering. Something heavy curled in my stomach at the thought. It was clear he cared about the wellbeing of the animals to a degree I hadn’t comprehended.
Janine took one of the small pillows from the couch and tucked it under Andrew’s head as Suzanne continued. “All right,” she said with a sigh. “I’ll go through the footage to determine what they stole and then call the authorities to report the theft. Janine, can you continue to treat him?”
I wasn’t sure what that entailed, but Janine apparently did, since she nodded and knelt back down as Suzanne went back into the security office. Janine did the same thing that she’d done before, that soft glow channeling light into Andrew’s head. Obviously, I wanted to ask what she was doing, but I knew better than to think I’d get an answer. Instead, I sat in one of the loveseats in front of Andrew’s desk, turning it to face them.
I heard Suzanne’s voice faintly speaking to someone on the phone and the minutes ticked by. Eventually, Suzanne came back out again and she stood next to me for a long moment, watching the healing process before turning to me.
“Andrew told me you were attempting to create some enrichment activities for the animals?” asked my boss.
“Oh, uh…yeah, I am,” I answered. I assumed she was trying to make small talk to distract me from the current situation, and I appreciated it. “The first one went well. Spike loves artichokes, pecans, and hazelnuts. I went with things that made it a challenge to eat, like it’s a challenge to pull out fingernails of its prey.”
Suzanne’s expression brightened just enough for me to notice. “Ripley, that’s wonderful. Very clever.” She let out a breath. “It’s becoming more and more obvious to me that Andrew chose well in hiring you.” I gave her a small smile. “Listen, I’m going to hire someone else to be here with you on duty,” Suzanne told me, “and by that, I mean someone from my neck of the woods. Andrew explained that to you, correct?”
“Not much. Just that you’re not from Earth.”
Suzanne smiled. “That makes me sound like an alien, but yes, I’m not from this dimension. I can hire someone who has similar abilities to mine, who can check in every few hours, make sure everything’s all right, but generally make themselves scarce unless there’s an emergency. He wouldn’t have been able to do much if he’d already been here, but he’d have known what was going on. Andrew would have received assistance immediately.”
I was curious of what those abilities were, aside from being able to see the animals, but I wasn’t bold enough to ask. Also, I was curious about who this new ‘employee’ would be, but presumably I’d find out sooner or later. “That would make me feel a little better,” I said, nodding. “Knowing there was someone else here.”
She nodded once. “It’s as good as done, then. As for Andrew, he’ll need to take a few days off to recover. Would you be willing to give the tours until he’s back in ship-shape?”
My eyes bugged out of my skull. “Wait, what? I can’t even see all the animals!”
Suzanne chuckled at my expression and shook her head. “I can enchant a pair of specs for you to wear,” she told me. “It’ll give you a bit of a headache, but you’ll be able to see all of the animals. Also, I’ll give you the background for each of them, because you’ll be speaking about them to the tourists.”
I blinked, thinking of how awesome it would be to finally know all about them all. And it was flattering, the fact that she had such confidence in me that, without hesitation, she asked if I could take over for Andrew. The best thing for me to do, of course, was to be confident and assure her that I could take any temporary promotion in stride. “I’m…I’m not great with people,” I managed.
Yup. Nailed it.
“You can be a little harsh with them if you need to,” she said with a small, knowing smile. “I assumed that signing up for a job where you interact with a screen of cameras the whole time means you aren’t great with people. And Andrew did brief me on you when he hired you. How good are you at couching your insults in polite talk? The British are quite skilled, but I know Americans aren’t too bad at it.”
I smirked, remembering how a coworker friend of mine once told a customer, “Oh, bless your heart,” in her thick southern accent and it sounded like the worst insult. “I can manage that, I think.”
A buzz from the gate that went to the panel on the wall drew our attention and Suzanne walked over to let the visitors in. It was three people, a man and two women, with a gurney.
Walking over to Andrew, I folded my arms with a small smile as Janine released his head from the glow the wand was emitting. “Hey. Sorry you had to lay on the floor for so long knowing I was cluelessly reading a book in the next room.”
“Eh, not the end of the world,” he whispered. “I’ll be back on my feet soon. So, no parties while I’m gone.”
I snorted and my smile widened, and he returned it.
Going back into the security room, I pulled the system back to the multi-camera exterior view, and I sat there and listened to Suzanne talk to one of the medics, explaining everything that had happened in detail. Once she’d done that and they brought Andrew outside on the gurney, presumably to a waiting ambulance, I gave my statement, and then…it was back to work.
Obviously going back to work like nothing had changed felt weird, but Suzanne stayed, letting me know that she would get some work done at Andrew’s desk until my shift was over. It was likely the opposite of necessary, the robbers were gone, but it did make me feel a tiny bit better knowing that she was in the next room with her wand.
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